#plz laugh im not funny

[dustbunnylair]

In honor of 4th of July for all of the Jjk fans!!

i am no editor plz forgive me for this is trash

[vampistol]

God made a mistake giving me the power of editing

Og thumbnail LOL

[dimpletheheck]

Swan OC incoming!🦢

She's so beautiful frfr

Also made a lil moodboard?? I think?? It's inspired by her.

Pretty swan lady go HONK

((Plain moodboard⬇️))

[lonly-1]

What's forest gump's favorite pasta?

*in his voice* Penne

[normalabdavidchiem]

lets name the new fangan people after organs since drdtdev doesnt like number names

ok so

this is pancreas

this is urinal gland

this is heart

this is intestine

this is lungs

this is reproductive system (penis for short)

this is stomach

this is brain

this is spinal cord

this is urethra

this is breast tissue

thoughts?

[bullsandthebones]

she inject on my T til I mansplain

(so the joke here is that I'm trans and on testosterone and men mansplain a lot so I'm injecting testosterone to get more masculine traits which includes mansplaining)

[finalsquidmissile]

No it's not meta its a self-own

[widdlediddle2]

my teacher is so funny sometimes lmfao

we were watching hamlet and since it was old Shakespeare they were talking in like early modern English so the whole time the class did not understand a thing of what they were saying but my teacher was laughing sm at her desk when they made a "joke" 💀💀💀

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok so I just went to my notes app to write down some story ideas & found this note that I apparently wrote at 3:17am several weeks ago

and like... I vaguely remember having a thought about a dick being able to suck things up like a vacuum cleaner and at the time I found it so hilarious i had to immortalise it in writing but honestly realising I had written it incorrectly has me in sTItchEs now lol

[creatorbiaze]

sometimes i forget that other people have higher sympathy than me & a lot of my jokes don't look like jokes

like

wdym you're concerned about me after I seem somewhat concerning

my pain is funny, laugh. please

like genuinely, i process things using humor, plz indulge</3

[aguztofwind]

*wipes steam from glasses*

things heating up jn the water fandom?

[atlasofearth]

the ao3 author curse is sooo real bc why’d my grandma just die 😐😐

[tradingjackbs]

Trying to sleep but I can't stop thinking about the time I had a pt who was being a dickhead and only wanted girl nurses and docs touching them, and they threw a fit when the guy doc wanted to check their legs for trauma bc they "didn't want any of that gay shit"

But the only other people in the room were me and another nurse so I offered to help, and luckily I'm at a point in my transitioning where my voice is pretty much a baritone and I'm growing some facial hair already, but im staying non-op

So they asked if I was a girl and I said "sure" in my deep ass voice while also clearly having tits and they got so confused they shut up for the rest of the physical exam. Most gender affirming moment of my life tbh

[that-sammy-gay]

If life is a game then I’m the one peg from sorry you lost and never found again.

[no-144444]

nothing bad!- o.piastri

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summary: the sprint pisses you off, ted's notebook catches you at a bad time, you say some things, oscar posts some things, and it ends up being one of the most popular ad campaigns in history. oops.

pairing: oscar piastri (no.81) x fem! driver! reader

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You rolled your eyes as you watched the sprint end. Bullshit. Team orders had always left a bad taste in your mouth, but this was just bullshit. You sighed, looking at Mark, and he just rolled his eyes. Oscar was on par with Lando in his second season. Yes, there were some small mistakes or issues, but he was a fucking jet engine, and he deserved a team that treated him like one. He was going to be World Champion next year, you knew it, Mark knew it, everyone knew it. 

“Fucking arseholes,” Mark cursed. “What time is your quali at?” 

“12,” you answered. “I’m going to just go talk to him, see you in a bit.” 

You stood in Parc Fermé and he came up, pressing a kiss to your lips and sighing as his team congratulated him. 

“That was such bullshit,” you sighed, following him to his driver’s room after the media duties. “Wanna fuck to get all that frustration out?” 

He nodded, not even looking at the question like it was a joke. You both knew it wasn’t. “How long until your quali?” 

“An hour,” you shrugged, pulling him into his room with a smirk. 

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When you two finally resurfaced, you made your way over to your car, ready to slot it onto the grid, as you did, you were stopped by Ted Kravitz, the man, the myth, the legend himself. 

“Y/n! How are you feeling about today’s quali and sprint race?” he asked. 

“Good, yeah. Just need to get out and up there,” you nodded. You were the number one driver in F1 Academy, and F2. This weekend was an F1 Academy weekend. You’d won every race since you’d joined the series, a sweep of total domination for 2 years. 13 wins under your belt in F1 Academy, 12 feature race wins in F2, and 12 Sprint wins in F2. And you were only 22. 

“And how did you feel about Oscar’s Sprint race? You didn’t look so happy in Parc Fermé.”

You rolled your eyes. “If Lando really needs Oscar to take a side step like that over one point, maybe he’s not ready to be champion,” you shrugged. “And that’s coming from a friend.” 

You could feel the air shift as Ted smirked, knowing what a headline that would be. 

“Thanks for your time Y/n, we’ll see you on the other side of Quali,” he smiled, allowing you to walk on. 

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

Pole position, again. 

It was almost funny how easy it was. 

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

You made your way back into your garage and found Oscar looking proud, but slightly guilty…

“What did you do?” you asked, putting your helmet and gloves down. 

“Nothing bad,” he prefaced. “But I may or may not have posted something.”

You looked at him quizzically. “Show me.” 

He turned his phone around and you laughed. 

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oscarpiastri

liked by pierregasly, landonorris, y/nracing, and 839,231 others

oscarpiastri: get yourself a girlfriend who a) is intelligent, gorgeous, and awesome. and b) publicly humiliates your teammate over one point :)

comments

landonorris: low blow... i thanked you -> y/nracing: u forgot to thank beyonce.

user82: WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS

mclaren: please take this down xxx -> y/nracing: if he takes this down i'll bomb mtc. -> mclaren: OH GREAT HEAVENS.

zbrownceo: we know this diva 💜

lilymhe: hold up im trying to spell gorjus -> y/nracing: OMG I FUCKING LOVE YOU DITCH ALEX FOR ME PLZ

carlossainz: at least you've got a leg up on lando... -> user22: ??? -> carlossainz: he hjas a girlfriend that loves him, lando's dumps him every four days -> landonorris: WHY AM I CATCHING STRAYS RN????

oscarpiastri: who is this gorgeous lady? -> y/nracing: she's taken bucko -> oscarpiastri: not by lando norris 😹😹😹 (even though he asked you out first...) -> y/nracing: who the fuck would pick lando over oscar?

pierregasly: WHO IS THIS DIVA 💜

charlesleclerc: glad to see my daughter in law is still insane

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ

“Well, I’d better post something myself, shouldn't I?” you smirked. He nodded, a bright blush on his cheeks, knowing exactly what you were going to post. 

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y/nracing

liked by pierregasly, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 12,293,942 others

y/nracing: booo ln4. i'm into op81. oh yeah, also our skims collection is out on the 24th xxx

comments

user82: OH MY FUCKING GOD

user29: i have no one to talk to about this.

oscarpiastri: pretty girl -> y/nracing: pretty boy

landonorris: ??? ->oscarpiastri: I will actually gouge your eyes out, unlike this post right now. -> user92: WHAT HAPPENED TO POLITE CAT? -> oscarpiastri: his teammate became a bitch

user92: HOLY SHIT Y/N IS LOOKING GORG

lilymhe: my girl is beautiful

alexandrastmleux: my girl xxx

charlesleclerc: supporting! (with my eyes closed)

pierregasly: 👀 ->oscarpiastri: close them.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[thatonesoso]

Oh?

OH????

HOORAY!!!! Can't wait to celebrate with another birthday drink with a very special birthday boy-