#plus the chaos of the scene and almost humor in her being like ITS NOT THAT BIG A DEAL DO IT cause been there too idk it just got me

[violentdelightshavevioletends]

Lines that somehow single-handedly kinda broke my heart:

"Thank you."

"Never thank me for that."

[zepskies]

Wow!!! 🤩 Omg, friend, I'm VERY excited...

So first of all, you're an angel. Thank you for such lovely and amazing feedback on this. 🥹🥹 Diving in below:

What I liked about the beginning was that the routine they have down after two years is tangible.

Oh wow, I'm so glad it felt tangible for you! I haven't had the chance to have a relationship this long as of yet, but I wrote what felt right for these two.

Specifically the part "from the corner of your eye" made the scene very palpable to me. Observing your partner doing their evening routine and getting a feel for their mood. Even though Dean is clearly not doing well here, the fact that he gets to have that kind of intimacy with a partner made me all :")

Yesss thank you, half the reason I started writing this series was to give Dean the kind of relationship I wished he'd had on the show. 🥹 To have someone notice when he's off and trying to hide his pain/discomfort, and do what she can to take care of him for once.

[The half-pitched tent]: LMAO an amazing gif imo.

I don't know if it was intended or if I read into this, but when she says "It's not just that we can't...", despite the despair they're both going through, I had to laugh, specifically because "It's not just that we can't..." read as "I'm not just crying because we can't have sex" and that just made me crack up.

LOL that's exactly what I was going for with that part of the line. There's a kind of humor in the heartbreak. As well as his reaction, like you pointed out. 🤣 It's a combination of everything -- him having been controlled by Michael for weeks/months, all the crazy aftermath of that, plus the ongoing situation, AND they can't even have sex? It's getting to be too much now. 😂💙

ALSO: I very very much felt her pain for not being able to help. Watching someone you love with all your heart suffer, knowing you can't do anything about it, really is a special kind of suffering on its own.

That was absolutely my thinking too. It's an awful spot to be in for both of them.

Not Dean feeling sorry for putting his girlfriend through so much worrying and apologizing about it two seconds prior. I'm watching you, Winchester. You don't get to wish to lighten people's burden when you don't let them do the same for you!

You know Dean! Lmao. One to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, but God forbid someone try to share the load. 🥲

Michael outta my friggin’ head, he thinks.

Yes. That is exactly how Dean would think that. 10/10 character representation. (You always write Dean so well.)

Ahaha thank you so much, lovely!! I think I kind of took that from the episode, but it felt on brand to me. 😂

Now this isn't related to your writing, but ever since watching that episode I had the idea of the reader originally being from the Walking Dead Universe and they just completely shit their pants because they've never seen a picture of Sam and Dean's dad before and now HOLY SHIT NEGAN IS RIGHT THERE IN THE BUNKER WITH THEM lol. Just the absolute chaos of the reader being like "GET THAT MAN AWAY FROM ME" and all three Winchesters being like 👀? Are u okay?

LOLLL your crossover thoughts are amazing. 😂 That would be a hilarious WTF moment.

John chuckles. “Latina, huh?”  “Oh, yeah,” Dean grins.

:""""") For two reasons: a) Dean being in a happy relationship for almost 3 years b) John finding out his son's got a special someone *cries happy tears*

B. was the main hook for me in the idea of writing within this episode tbh. I recently did a rewatch of the later seasons and it occurred to me that it would be great to cover this episode with this Espresso-verse series' reader.

Girl. You made me HUNGRY. It's been too long since I had paella. It's been too long since I've been to SPAIN. I literally grunted reading this like "yes please onto my plate into my stomach now thank you very much"

Ahahaha if you read "Get Stuffed" you might get even hungrier. I love cooking and good food (especially Hispanic/Latin and Spanish food), and I am SO jealous that you've actually been to Spain!! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍��

Y e s. Thank you. Exactly what I was thinking. Family reunion is great and all but sir. Can we talk about how you fucked these boys up? Like, Mr Winchester, sir, are you aware that your sons have massive daddy issues?

Yeeeep, I wanted to address this but also try to address it realistically. She's meeting this man for the first time, but she's also a very strong-willed, opinionated person. lol

I was holding my breath seeing how John would react. Here is this woman that he's just met questioning his parenting skills. Being yanked out of a timeline where Sam was still in school and Dean was still all "Yes sir, of course sir, right away sir" I wouldn't have been surprised if John was about to give her a piece of his mind.

Exactly loll. I rewatched the episode to get a feel for his personality in "Lebanon," and so while a part of him was initially taken aback and upset, he also kind of had to hand it to her for being direct. 🤣

I loved this bit so much. Perhaps John seeing some of his Mary in the reader? Ofc at that point (before the prequel) John never knew about Mary's hunting past but he still knows his wife's got fire inside of her and he can see that in the reader too. That was a special moment to me. John seeing his own son come after him in a perfectly healthy way :")

Oooh I didn't think about that, but he very well could be reminded of Mary there! I'm glad you felt it was a special moment, because that's what I was intending as I was writing it. 💗

I need the reader and Dean to get their calendars out so we can collectively agree on a date where I put the two of them in a room with massive speakers which just repeats "You are good people who have done good things for the people in your life, you are deserving of all good things and must learn to accept gratitude when it is due and given" again and again :)

Ahahaa I feel you there!! It was also a thing of, "I just met this man. What is he thanking me for when it comes to his son(s)?" But she doesn't realize he's thanking her for giving Dean someone who "holds him down."

Too good for this world. Literally. Warmed my heart SO much. But also. Can she please realize that is part of Dean's family? Thank you.

🥹🥹

Yesss, I mean she does realize it on one level, but she also wanted to give him the space with his family if he wanted/needed it. (But of course, as you saw, he didn't want it or need it.)

What I said. Ha. No but seriously. This show's Dean's love for the reader so much. Because she has a point. John's only here for a very short amount of time and this is a once-in-a-lifetime-chance that they'll never get again. And Dean's just like "Ummmmmh as far as I'm concerned my family consist of five people, thank you very much" and just :") When Dean loves, he loves BIG.

Thank you!! That's what I was trying to show on Dean's end. That despite her having somewhat of a point, he loves her that much that he can't even fathom her shepherding herself into the other room to eat alone (especially considering she did the cooking).

But he absolutely loves BIG. It's my headcanon that when Dean falls, he falls hard. And he's not gonna be shaken from it.

🥹🥹🥹 ALL the feels. This was such a feel-good story, despite the sadness it contains. I loved every little piece of it. Hats off to you, again. Chefs kiss. We are a blessed fandom to have you.

You're far too sweet to me, thank you so much, friend!! 🥹 This literally just made my entire week. 💕💕

A Wish to Build a Dream On

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader

Summary: Dean has been harboring the archangel Michael in his mind for weeks now, putting a strain on your relationship as you struggle to help him. When Dean makes a wish that accidentally brings his father back from the dead, you get to meet the (in)famous John Winchester. But as always with magic, your boyfriend’s wish has unintended consequences.

AN: Welcome back to the Espresso-verse! This is set in 14.13: “Lebanon,” of course, but chronologically in the storyverse, it sits between Show Me and In Bad Weather.

Song Inspo: The story title was inspired by “A Kiss to Build a Dream On” by Louis Armstrong, but the real song inspiration for this is “Come Back Down” by Lifehouse.

Word Count: 7k~

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only to be safe. Spiciness/smuttish, angst, hurt/comfort, hint of body insecurity, and feels. 

Start from the beginning of the series: ⤵️

☕ Midnight Espresso Masterlist

Sometimes, even the mundane in a two-year relationship can become new. And not in a good way. 

You and Dean are getting ready for bed, taking turns brushing your teeth. When you’re done, he comes in behind you at the sink and starts up his routine.

As you go to look for the moisturizer you pretend he doesn’t borrow from your nightstand, you watch him from the corner of your eye. Even dressed down in his loose shirt and pajama pants, he seems tired, and tense.  

Maybe because he’s been harboring the archangel Michael in his mind for an entire month. 

You know Dean hasn’t been sleeping well, if at all. Now, he seems to be anticipating another fitful night. It doesn’t sit well with you to see the tension in his shoulders, the lines around his eyes that aren’t from laughing.

You wait until he slips into his side of the bed. Then you turn over and sidle up against him. You prop your elbow against his pillow, so you can look down on him with a smile. His brows twitch upwards.

“Well, hey,” he says. His arm settles around your waist under the covers. You stroke his cheek.

“Hey,” you reply. Though you don’t ask him if he’s all right. You already know the answer. Instead, you dip down for a kiss.

At first it’s just a sweet meeting of lips. You part from him softly, letting your thumb drag back and forth across his prickly cheek. He breathes in deeply and allows himself to savor the touch.

You dive back in again for a deeper taste, finding minty freshness with your tongue. He hums in response. His hold tightens on your waist, while your fingers drift down his neck, down his chest over his shirt. And then, they slip under the worn-out waistband of his sweatpants.

He groans deep in his throat when you stroke up and down the full length of him with a practiced hand. His knee bends on reflex, and he sucks in a breath as pleasure stirs low inside him.

But he stops you, grabbing your wrist gently, but firm.

You break the kiss in confusion. Dean’s eyes are still closed, brows furrowed while he takes deep breaths, as if he’s trying to pull himself back together. Or maybe, maintain a level of self-control.

His green eyes open and find yours in apology.

“Sorry,” he says, pulling your hand out of his pants. “Just uh…not really in the mood.”

You lift up the covers and glance down at the half-pitched tent in his pants with a raised brow.

“You sure about that?” you ask.

He stays quiet, which starts to make you suspicious. You let the covers drop and rest a hand on his chest, where his heart beats at a ticked-up pace.

“It’s been over a month, baby,” you point out. “I know there’s…a lot going on, but this isn’t like you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m tired,” he claims.

You can understand that, to an extent, but intuition tells you that there’s something deeper here. Beyond the lack of intimacy, you’ve been starting to realize just how distant your boyfriend has been with you, even after getting him back from Michael.

Dean doesn’t…touch you anymore. And not just in this bed. As a matter of fact, him holding you right now is some of the closest affection he’s given you in days.

Despite that thought, he actually surprises you by covering your hand on his chest and squeezing your fingers. Likely he’s seen the disappointment and concern across your face.

“Come on. You think I only want you around for sex?” he jokes. It gets you to smile, however slightly.

“Call it a perk of this little arrangement,” you say in a dry tone. 

“Ooh, an arrangement. Sounds kinky,” he quips, with a curve of his lips. 

You smirk and take back your hand from under his. Carding your fingers through his hair, you dip down and start to kiss his neck. 

“I miss you,” you whisper against his warm skin. “But I also want to help you take your mind off it all… Just let me distract you for a while.” 

His eyes briefly close as he lets out a shaky breath, but he stops you for real this time. He holds your cheek and guides you away. His rejection hurts, making your chest sting, but his eyes implore you to let him explain.

“That’s just it,” he says. “I can’t. I can’t risk it.”

Your brows furrow. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t lose control,” Dean says. His tone is laced with grit and strain. “Michael’s in there, rattling around. He’s either pacing all damn day, or pounding on the walls.”

Dean presses a hand between his eyes, as if that’ll stop the headache that’s already forming. It’s bad enough that the archangel was controlling him for so long, rooting deep in his head and opening every door and shady corner. Thoughts, memories, private moments.

Now, Dean doesn’t know how much Michael sees of the outside world. It’s another reason he’d rather not heed every desire he has to roll you underneath his body and fuck you deep into the mattress. It’s why he hasn’t let himself touch you as often as he wants, as he craves.

Because the truth is, he’s scared. Scared of what might happen if he gets too distracted.

“Sometimes I think I’m gonna lose my fucking mind,” he admits to you, his throat tightening.

He glances back up at you, and finds you weeping. Your lower lip trembles. Guilt hits Dean harder between the ribs when he realizes what he’s been putting you through. What he’s still putting you through. He cups your cheek and wipes away a stray tear.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he says.

You shake your head. “It’s not just that we can’t…it’s that I can’t help you,” you reply, with a tremble in your voice. “I can’t do anything.”

Dean doesn’t know what to say to you, but he knows what he can do. He wraps his arms more securely around you and pulls you against him. You rest your forehead in the crook of his neck and try to calm yourself by taking long, even breaths.

“I wish I could take this from you,” you confess.

He sighs. “I don’t.”

The next morning, Sam and Dean catch a lead on a fellow hunter who was killed by a supernatural artifacts dealer. They mean to track down the dealer.

Instead of going with them, you stay at the bunker and continue to research a way to extract and capture an archangel from a human host. 

Dean doesn’t question your decision; he’s grateful, but still feeling guilty about last night. And part of him doesn’t even know how to move forward with you right now. 

It’s just as well, because you’re not too sure of how to act around Dean either. Your heart breaks every time you look at him, and it was hard to even meet his eyes at breakfast this morning.

Mary is on a hunt nearby as well, but you don’t have the heart to join her when she calls you around noon. After you hang up with her, you realize that you’re feeling sorry for yourself, when the one who’s really suffering is Dean.

For a moment, you take a break from the old book in front of you. Your back is twinging from being hunched over in your research for hours on end in the library. You rub your eyes and let out a sigh, before you lift your gaze heavenward. You doubt your grandmother can hear you up there while she relives her greatest hits, but at this point, you’ll try anything.

Please, you think in Spanish, and even pray. Give me strength. Give him strength.

Sam and Dean return to the bunker after “taking care” of the scumbag dealer. They bring back a number of artifacts, which you’ll have to help them sort through. They pile it all onto the War Room table. 

But they show you one item in particular: the Baozhu, one of eight ancient Chinese treasures. In other words, it’s a pearl that grants your heart’s desire.

Now, in general, you tend to be wary about hoodoo, but Sam has already convinced Dean that it could work. He could wish Michael gone.

They’re both so earnest that you’re willing to go along with it…and let Dean give it a try.

“Are you sure you don’t want to call Mom?” Sam asks him. “Or wait for Cas?”

“No,” Dean replies. “If this mojo works, great. If it doesn’t, then why get their hopes up?”

You agree with that point. In fact, you almost wish you could be Mary or Castiel right now.

Dean notes the look on your face, and he knows you well enough to read what you might be thinking. He turns his attention back to the pearl with determination.

He takes the pouch from Sam’s hand and doesn’t know what to do with it at first, but after little coaching from Sam, Dean takes the pearl in his hand, closes his eyes, and concentrates on his “heart’s desire.”

Michael outta my friggin’ head, he thinks.

The lights in the bunker start to flicker. You and Sam look up in wariness as the magic from the wish knocks out the electricity for a moment, casting the room into darkness mixed with a red glow from the emergency lights.

Sam turns when he spots a shrouded figure out of the corner of his eye—almost as tall as him, a large threatening frame. Sam swings a punch, but the intruder bats at his stomach, then his face with what looks like a crowbar. He goes down hard.

Just as you turn your head, Dean steps in next and gets an elbow to the chin for his trouble, then a swift kick in the stomach that sends him across the room with Sam. The intruder wracks his crowbar, which as it turns out, is actually a shotgun.

“Don’t you move,” he says.

He must not have seen you in the dark. It gives you the opportunity to come up behind him with one of the emergency handguns Dean had taped under the table for exactly this purpose. You tuck the safety back with a click.

“Drop it,” you demand.

The man pauses. He knows you’re there, but he doesn’t yet lower his weapon.

And the lights come back on.

Sam and Dean’s eyes widen when they realize who they’re faced with.  

“Dad?” Dean says incredulously.

John Winchester is just as confused to be in the bunker as his sons are to see him alive, and in the bunker. For John, he thinks it’s 2003. Sam should be at school in Palo Alto, while John’s been hunting with Dean.

John is understandably shocked when Sam tells him that sixteen years have passed.

“I think we summoned you,” Sam says, after he and Dean pick themselves up from the ground.

John takes a beat to try and process, but he has too many questions.

“You boys better tell me what’s going on right now,” he says. Though he turns and notices you after you slip your gun back into the waistband of your jeans and draw closer to Dean, laying a hand on his arm. A subtle look passes between you two.

You good? yours says.

I think so, Dean’s replies. The exchange doesn’t go unnoticed.

“And you are?” John asks. His gaze is focused on you, and the directness of his tone somewhat takes you by surprise. You never thought you would meet John Winchester.

But after you tell him your name, Dean rests a hand at the small of your back.

“She’s my girlfriend,” he says.

Intrigue sparks in John’s eyes, and he nods in response. His mind is probably buzzing with too much information to levy any kind of politeness your way, but it still leaves a tense, awkward atmosphere in its wake.

Sam tries to bridge it by suggesting you all sit at the long table in the War Room to go over what John’s missed. He agrees, though he requests a strong drink first.

Explaining what’s really happening to the older, yet still incredibly spry hunter takes a while. You all do it with a bottle of Jack Daniels split four ways.

“So, you saved the world?” John asks. His whiskey glass is in his hands, and he raises a finger in a “So you mean to tell me” gesture.

“More than once,” Dean admits.

“Then it’s all true. God, the Devil, you boys smack in the middle,” John says. You can see him working through all this, but also with fatherly pride coming through. It would make you smile, if this situation wasn’t so goddamn weird.

“Now you all live in a secret bunker with an angel and Lucifer’s kid,” he continues, and this time, he includes you in his gaze. All you can do is nod with a feeble smile.

Sam and Dean also confirm his summary.

“And you’ve done this whole…time travel thing before?” he asks.

“A few times,” Dean nods. “Actually, our grandfather, your dad…he’s the one that helped us find this place. I think he’d be real happy to know you’re finally here.”

Dean has told you about Henry Winchester, and how John had thought the man abandoned him when he was a child. But now, he seems to understand.

“Right, Man a’ Letters,” he nods.

“Yeah, we’re uh, we’re legacies,” Sam says, giving his father a smile. “Because of you.”

John has to smile back.

The three of them continue to talk for a while, and you mostly keep to yourself. Truth be told, you’re feeling a bit out of place in this moment.

The John you’ve heard stories about is a gruff ex-marine with a “give ‘em hell” attitude. This man has a solid presence, and a gruff voice not unlike Dean’s, but all you see in him is both pride and wonder at everything his sons are telling him about this world he’s been thrust into.

After a little while more, Sam realizes he needs to call someone immediately: his mother.

John’s face falls into shock.

“Mary?” he says. His disbelieving eyes become tinged with hope. “She’s…she’s alive?”

Dean shares a quick look with Sam, who heads out of the room quick to find his phone.

“Yeah, Dad. It’s a long story, but uh…she’s back too,” Dean says, smiling. “Wait ‘til she sees you.”

John’s brows furrow. He looks down at his hands on the table, fighting emotion. You can’t help but feel for him. You notice the empty bottle of whiskey, and without meaning to, you fall into “caretaker mode.”

“Uh, John, you want some water? Or maybe a beer?” you ask, as you start to get up from your seat. Dean looks up at you with a measure of bemusement.

“Beer would be good, thanks,” John says, giving you a small, but sincere smile. Somehow that unbalances you even more, though you smile back.

“Okay, and while I’m at it I think I’d better start dinner,” you say. Mary doesn’t cook, really. Sam is a lost cause too. (The man can barely boil an egg.) So it’s often up to you and Dean to handle the food in this house…bunker…whatever.

Dean disrupts your thoughts by grasping your hand, hoping it’ll steady you.

“You don’t have to, baby,” he says. You perk up with a more genuine smile.

“Oh, I want to! Besides, you guys should keep talking. Catch up,” you say, gesturing between father and son. You squeeze Dean’s hand, then make your quick escape.  

Dean smirks and watches you go. John follows his son’s gaze, then looks back at him in amusement. 

“She a good cook?” he asks. 

Dean raises his brows. “Oh, just you wait. She makes this beef stew thing, ropa vieja? Ridiculous. And a pork roast like you wouldn’t friggin’ believe.”

John chuckles. “Latina, huh?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Dean grins.  

“Nice,” his father nods with another short laugh. But it evens out into a certain smile. “How long’ve you two been together?”

Dean mentally counts it back. You often calculate it from the first time he officially asked you out for a nice dinner here in town. He likes to count it from that very first night he finally got a taste of your sweet café con leche…in more ways than one.

“Two years and some change. Almost three,” he says. John gives a low whistle.

“Look at you,” he remarks. And he seems pleased, with a gleam in his eyes that warms Dean deep inside. “Good for you, son. Glad to see you’ve got someone to hold you down.”

Dean sobers at that. He glances down at his empty glass of whiskey.

“Yeah,” he says. “You don’t know how much.”

It’s a good thing you went grocery shopping yesterday, or else you’d be shit out of luck trying to put something together for dinner. There happened to be a sale going on in the seafood section, so you find that you have everything you need to make a Spanish paella.

You get to chopping the onions, bell peppers, garlic, tomato, and parsley first before anything else. While that starts sautéing in the pan, you break out the chicken, shrimp, and mussels from their individually wrapped packages.

You continue according to the recipe you have in your mind’s eye—the one your grandma instilled in you. She’d learned it from her half-Spanish mother when she was a kid.

Cooking is one of those things that allows you to reset your mind. It’s like how Dean is when he sits down to tune up his car, or Sam when he reads a new book. You can just zero in and focus on the task at hand, and it allows you to put the rest of the chaos out of your head for a while. Plus, you just like feeding people.

Sometimes though, the task of whipping up a hot meal just gives you time to think. And right about now, you’re still reeling.

On one hand, you’re so happy for Sam and Dean. And of course for Mary, who’s about to get her entire world flipped upside down. You have so many questions for John Winchester…but not all of them would be pleasant.

You have to try to push that part down, for Dean’s sake. He’s just gotten his father back. He doesn’t need you adding even more onto his load.

There’s a knock on the open door of the kitchen that pulls you out of your thoughts. You raise your head and look over your shoulder. John is there with an empty beer bottle, which he raises in greeting.

You give him a small smile. “Hope you’re getting hungry.”

“With that smell, who wouldn’t?” he says, drawing near enough to lean against the counter next to you. He answers your unspoken question. “Dean’s lookin’ for some pictures to show me.”

You nod at that. “Yeah, he has a few good ones, and some are new. I’m sure you’ll like to see them.”

John nods and regards you with curiosity. He wants to know more about the woman in his son’s life, but he’s not too sure where to start.

“So you’re a hunter too?” he asks.

“Yep. Not for as long as Dean, but long enough,” you reply. It’s tinged with the knowledge that no hunter should’ve been as young as Dean when they started, but you keep that thought deep inside.

“How’d you two meet?” John asks.

Your lips twitch at a smile. You tell him the story of how you’d met Dean at a dirty bar in Las Cruces, New Mexico. Dean hadn’t realized you were a hunter at first when he watched you hustle some guy at pool.

He set you in his sights, flirted with you, and you probably would’ve let him take it further if you hadn’t stunned him with the knowledge that you, Sam, and Dean happened to be in town working the same case. From that day on, the three of you had become allies and friends.

You and Dean just hadn’t become you and Dean for a long time after that. Too long, if you were honest. But, it’s all worked out so far. This is the longest relationship both of you have been in, pretty much ever.

There’s a lull of silence that falls between you and John after you finish the story. It’s not altogether comfortable, and he realizes that when he watches you putter about the kitchen while you cook. You’re trying to busy yourself.

“This must be one hell of a strange day for you,” he says.

Your head perks up, and you have to smile wryly. “Our lives are built on strange.”

John’s chuckle concedes your point. But you look over at him thoughtfully and set down your wooden spoon.

“Could I, um…could I ask you something?” you ask.

He nods at you. “Sure.”

Maybe you shouldn’t, but you really can’t help yourself.

“We don’t know each other well,” you begin. “But, knowing what you know now, about Sam and Dean and everything they’ve gone through… If you could go back, would you change anything?”

John tilts his head at you, like he’s trying to read through the lines in your words. It reminds you of Sam.

“You mean, would I do things differently?” he asks. “From what point?”

You shake your head. “I don’t know. From the point in time you can remember, with Sam in college. Or maybe further back…from when they were kids.”

You try your best not to make it sound like a leading question, but you don’t think you’ve disguised it well enough. John stares back at you, as if the lines are now connecting in his mind.

He sees you're well-meaning. Despite your best efforts though, he knows you're accusing him of something. And he thinks you have some audacity.

He's somehow both taken aback, and amused by that fact. Trust Dean to be with a woman who goes for the jugular.

“Because you’ve been straight shootin’ with me, I guess I’ll shoot straight with you,” John replies. He sighs and wipes a hand over his bearded mouth, like you’ve seen Dean do at times when he’s tired, or anxious.

“A good part of me believes I did the best I could,” he says.

Your gaze falls; you don’t want him to see your real thoughts in your eyes.

“But,” he says, “If you're asking if I have regrets? ...Then you'd be right.”

You consider him then, for a moment. You find that you believe him. You begin to soften.

“Well, that’s something we have in common,” you reply. “But Sam and Dean are the best men I’ve ever known… So thank you.”

And you mean that. You are grateful for both of them. They became your family when you thought you had no one left.

John surprises you by shaking his head, smiling. “That’s what I wanted to say to you.”

You falter at that.

Me? you think. Why would he want to thank me?

Before you can truly digest his words, Dean comes into the kitchen, both to check on you and bring his dad the pictures he keeps in his nightstand. While he looks through them, John surreptitiously watches you and his son. 

Dean sidles up behind you and rests a hand along your hip. He peeks over your shoulder at what you’re cooking. You open the lid on the big pan of rice, chicken, and seafood, and he hums in delight at the smell of saffron that hits him.

“What’s that, paella?” he asks.

You give him an impressed look. “Very good. Here, it’s not quite ready yet, but try a bit.”

You put a shrimp and a bit of rice on the wooden spoon and raise it to his lips. Dean smiles and takes the proffered bite. He then moans in appreciation.

“Oh, that’s good,” he praises with his mouth full. “A bit spicy.”

“You like that though,” you tease.

Dean eyes you, and he chuckles. “Yeah, I do actually.”

John smiles to himself, both at the pictures of his boys throughout the years he missed, and at the glimpse he gets to see now.

You turn to him with another spoonful held out. “Want to try some, John?”

He obliges you by coming over and taking the spoon from your hand. He takes the bite, and his brows shoot up.

“Oh man, that’s got some kick to it,” he says.

“Too much?” you ask.

“Nah, it’s real good.”

Dean grins, but it soon dims as he realizes something.

“Ooh, what about dessert?” he says, rubbing his hands together. “Do we have anything?”

“Nope,” you reply. “Either we pick something up, or…I could make a flan.”

Dean’s grin kicks back in, full force. If there's one thing he's come to love in this world besides pie, it's your flan.

“But! For that I’ll need more ingredients,” you say, holding down a laugh at the look on your man’s face.

“Say no more,” he replies. “I’ll go on a grocery run. Just tell me what you need.”

You’re about to respond when a door creaks open down the hall. Mary hastens into the kitchen with Sam on her heels. When she sees her husband, her face falls into shock.

“John,” she breathes.

John's amusement gradually melts away, into watery-eyed emotion.

“My girl,” he says.

The two meet each other in the middle of the room. He holds her face, and she grips the front of his shirt with desperation. Their kiss is beautiful and tender…and then it’s more.

You and Dean share a wide-eyed look with Sam. The three of you quickly tip out of the room to the sounds of soft moans in your wake.  

“Wow. I mean, this is crazy right?” Dean says. He gesticulates wildly with his hands as the three of you make your way down the hall. “The way they just…connected, like magnets.”

You turn to him with a knowing smile.

“Your parents are about to have a lot of reunion sex,” you tease. 

Both Sam and Dean grimace. Dean has a full body shiver and gives you a look.

“Thank you for that,” he says wryly. 

You laugh and try to soothe him with a hand down his arm, but he playfully shakes his head at you. You have mercy on the brothers and manage to stifle your laughter.

“Okay, so, dessert,” you say.

“Well, since you’re so graciously being our chef for tonight, you just relax,” Dean says. “Sam and I’ll go make a run. You just tell me what you need.”

You pause in the hallway and give a hum of suspicion. You’re not sure you trust him to get the right stuff. The last time you asked him to get very specific ingredients from the store, he did not, in fact, bring you what you needed. (Somehow, he thought regular garlic powder was the same as Adobo seasoning.)

He clocks that look of yours and rolls his eyes. “Come on, really? What am I, five years old? Just give me a list.”

You relent with a sigh. “Okay, I’ll text it to you. But if you need me to send you pictures of anything, just let me know.”

Dean’s lips kick up into a smirk. He leans in for a parting kiss on your cheek, but it’s just an excuse to whisper in your ear.

“Well, I’ll never say no to some pics,” he says. “Nudes, preferably.” 

He then laughs at your rosy blush and raised brows. Now you know he’s in a better mood.

“Just hurry up,” you reply, shaking your head. He keeps chuckling as he passes by you. A smile curves your lips, and you give into the urge to smack his ass on his way up the stairs.

Sam just sighs in amused resignation. He raises a hand to you in goodbye and follows his brother up to the garage. 

Once they’re in the car, Sam finally unloads what he’s been holding onto all afternoon.

“Dean, how did this happen?”

“I mean, I don’t know. You said that the pearl gives you what your heart desires, right?” Dean says. “So, my heart desired… Look, I’ve wanted this, man. I’ve wanted this since I was four years old. Maybe having Mom back just brought it all back up.”

He’s not exactly sure how deep that “desire” was buried, but the pearl knew. Dean couldn’t believe how happy he was when he saw his dad again, got to tell him everything that he’d missed, getting to have him meet you. And seeing his dad with his mom again? Well, that was a child’s dream come true.

But Debbie Downer (AKA: his brother) looks concerned in the passenger seat.

“Okay, I know, and I love this too,” Sam says. “But messing with time—”

“No, no, no. Sam,” Dean says, raising a hand in protest as he drives.

“You know how this ends, Dean. Things change,” Sam tries to reason. Dean just shakes his head.

“Yeah, we got our family back together! I’ll take that change.”

“That’s not what I mean—”

“Stop. Just stop,” Dean says, in a tone that bodes no argument. “Look, can we just have one family dinner? Just one? Us—all of us together? That’s all I want. Can you just give me that?”

Sam’s lips purse. He knows it’s useless to argue with Dean when he gets like this, but Sam just can’t help the uneasy churning in his gut. It warns him that the other shoe has yet to drop on this spell.

You’re checking on the food when Sam and Dean return from their trip. Except the way they come storming into the kitchen has you turning to them in alarm.

Dean grasps your arms and searches your face. His face is marred by fresh cuts and a bruise or two.

“You feeling all right?” he asks. “Do you think Sam is a turtleneck-wearing douchebag?”

“Dean, what?” you utter. You touch his bruised cheek lightly, wincing in sympathy when he does out of pain. “What happened?”

True to Sam’s gut, the wish changed more than bringing John Winchester back from 2003. They explain what they went through after getting the groceries you requested—namely getting attacked by Castiel and Zachariah at the local liquor store.

The latter of the two angels was supposed to be dead, while the other had no recollection of being friends with the Winchesters. Sam was supposed to be a hot-shot Steve Jobs wannabe lawyer, while Dean had his mugshot plastered all over town.

“I think it’s…a temporal paradox,” Sam says.

Now, you’re very alarmed.

“Are you kidding me?! What the hell are we gonna do?” you exclaim.

“About what?” John asks from the doorway. He’s no longer wearing his jacket, you notice, and his shirt is looking a bit rumpled and hastily buttoned at the top, but his gaze is serious, matching his sons.

After sharing another telling look, Dean takes the responsibility of explaining the situation to his father, while Sam goes to find his mother.

Dean and John go into the library to talk. He explains that pulling John out of his time is now making the current timeline self-correct. Meaning, everything and everyone is gradually adjusting to the change.

“Basically, uh, if you don’t go back,” Dean says. He hesitates on the words, but he forces himself to continue. “Sam never gets back into the life. And Mom, she…”

“What?” John asks.

“Well, without everything that we did, with God, the Darkness, Mom never comes back,” Dean explains, even though it’s killing him inside. “Sam thinks that she’ll just fade away.”

It hurts him still to see the understanding don on his dad’s face, along with a smile of resignation.

“Okay,” John agrees. “I mean, me versus your mom? That’s not even a choice.”

Dean nods at that, however belatedly.

“Dean…I never meant for this,” John says.

“Dad, we pulled you here—”

“No, son. My fight,” he says. He still thinks about his conversation with you earlier today. He thinks about how protective you seemed just by that question you asked—not just protective of Dean, but of Sam too.

“It was supposed to end with me, with Yellow Eyes,” John explains. “But now, you’re a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you.”

Dean takes that in; he feels a rush of warmth deep in his heart, even though he doesn’t know what to say.

“You and your girl…you two planning on settling down someday? Having a family?” John asks.

Dean quirks a smile. You two haven’t talk about…that. Any of that. In between all the shit you all keep landing in, he’s somehow never had those conversations with you. Maybe he should.

But not now. Not until Michael’s gone and dealt with.

“I don’t know if we’re the settling type, but either way…I have a family,” Dean replies. He can say that honestly, with a soft smile that reaches his eyes.

John smiles back.

“All right,” he says. “Just think about it then.”

Dean once again finds you in the kitchen. You’ve gotten the plates, glasses, and silverware ready for dinner on the dining table.

“Hey, there’s only four plates on the table. We’re five,” Dean says.

You nod and close the oven back up. You’ve spent the past hour preparing the flan and just took it out of the oven. Hopefully it will have enough time to chill in the fridge.

You go to Dean and grasp the front of his gray flannel. In return, he holds you close by your arms.

“Listen, I thought it might be better if the four of you have dinner together. I’ll just eat here in the kitchen,” you say. Dean’s brows furrow, but you try to explain before he can start protesting. “You don’t have a lot of time left with your dad. This is the first time you’re getting to be together with your family like this. I just want to make sure you get the most out of it.”

Dean squeezes your arms and frowns down at you.

“You being there doesn’t take anything away from me being with them,” he says sternly. “And you’re part of my family. Part of our family. I’m not gonna have you eating in here by yourself like you’re a leper or something. Come on.”

He grabs your plate and the glass that you set aside on the counter, and he brings it to the table without letting you get a word in to stop him. You sigh, watching him go, but you also have to smile as the sting of tears burns in your eyes.

Dinner is awkward and dour at first. You all can’t help but think of what’s to come at the end of the night—ending the spell, and sending John back along with it.

But after John sets the tone, encouraging them to be grateful for this moment, and not dreading the inevitable end, everyone’s able to relax. The rest goes off without a hitch. 

While Sam and Dean are telling a childhood story, arguing about who’s version of the events were more accurate, you get up to grab the dessert from the fridge. 

You take out the pan of flan with both hands and go to bring it back to the table, but right in the doorway, you stumble to a stop as a wave of something washes over you. It prickles across your skin and feels a lot like magic.

The pan drops from between your hands and crashes to the floor. It startles everyone in the room.  

Dean calls your name in alarm. He’s the closest to you, and he gets up to steady you with a hand on your shoulder. 

“You okay?” he asks, trying to get you to meet his gaze. 

But when you do, he sees blankness behind your widened eyes. 

“Who are you?” you ask. You look around in both fear and confusion. “Where the hell am I?”

Dean’s throat constricts. "What do you mean? You live here. I'm..."

He searches your face for any hint of a joke, but he finds none. Trepidation grows inside him, and he realizes then what this is.

Another temporal shift, getting closer to the new timeline. One in which you and Dean are clearly strangers.

Somehow, he didn’t anticipate this.

“You don’t recognize me, do you?” he says.

Your brows furrow as you take in the man in front of you. He’s certainly a sight to see, you think, but those broad shoulders, the cut of his jaw, those green eyes…they’re unfamiliar to you.

“Sorry, but…I feel like I’d remember you,” you say with a nervous chuckle. “Have we worked together or something?”

Dean’s lips press together. He gives you a meaningful look. “Sweetheart, we’ve done a lot more than that.”

Your brows raise, and you blush hotly at the thinly veiled innuendo in his deep voice. You take another quick scan of him, which he notes with a smile.

“Yeah, I uh, I doubt that,” you say, which drops his smile again. You curl a strand of hair behind your ear, like you’re embarrassed just by him scrutinizing your curvy form. Like you can’t believe he’s basically flirting with you.

That’s not the woman he knows. 

“Listen, I’m sorry, but I don’t know you. I have to figure out where the hell I am and how to get home,” you say. And you ease out of his hold and back away. 

Dean grabs your hand fast. “Uh, wait. Sorry, just…”

He raises a placating hand and glances back at Sam with a hidden thread of desperation in his eyes. His brother is shocked and disheartened, as are Mary and John.

“Okay. I'm Dean, this is my brother Sam, our parents, Mary and John,” Dean says, turning back to you. “I know this has gotta be weird as hell for you right now, but can you just…stay put for a bit, until I get this worked out?”

You give him an uneasy look. He’s holding your hand like he’s afraid to let you go. You don’t know this man at all, and yet he really seems to believe that he knows you. It doesn’t make any damn sense.

You shake your head. “Look, I have to go home.”

You try tugging your hand out of his, and Dean finally lets you go.

“Why, you got a boyfriend waiting or something?” he asks. He’s half teasing, and half serious. 

“No, um, family,” you admit. “My grandma’s probably waiting for me.” 

Dean’s expression slackens. In the right version of the timeline, you’re his girl. But your grandmother passed away a few years ago.

“Okay,” he wipes at his mouth with a hand. “Tell you what, it’s pretty late. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll take you wherever you want to go. Deal?”

The truth is, he has no intention of letting you go any-damn-where, but he needs to buy them some time to break this spell. Then you’ll be back to normal.

Right now, you’re reluctant to trust him. Eventually though, you nod in agreement. Dean wastes no time in bringing you to the War Room, where he encourages you to take a seat.

“I’ll be back in a few,” he promises.

You nod a bit hesitantly, as you still treat him with dubious suspicion. It breaks his heart. He forces himself to turn away from you and return to the dining room.

Part of you can’t help but watch him leave. Those long legs and broad shoulders are a sight, you can admit, but this is all too much for you. You further take in your surroundings and also think this place is strange. No windows…what, are we in some WWII bunker?

And yet, Señor Green Eyes claimed that you live here. Your car, your keys, it all must still be here, you reason. 

So you wait until he’s all the way down the hall, and disappearing into another room. You get up out of your seat and start looking for your stuff—and a way out of here.

Meanwhile, Dean goes back into the dining room where Mary is already crying in John’s arms: for her eldest son, for her youngest, for her husband, and for herself. Dean’s eyes are red and stinging too. 

By now, Sam has gotten up from the table and has been waiting for his brother. He lays a supportive hand on Dean’s shoulder. When Dean meets his brother’s gaze, he sees the shine of heartbreak there too. 

“Let’s get this done,” John says.

Saying goodbye is the hardest thing. 

Somehow, though, they get through it. Dean reflects on how he never got to say it to his father the first time. He feels the worst for his mom, who gets her husband ripped away from her.

It’s not fair. In fact, it’s a cruel turn of the knife that he should’ve expected. Dean feels guilty just for making this goddamn wish.

John says goodbye to his wife first, then his sons. He pulls them both into a hug that Dean clings to. Again, he hears his father say that he’s proud of him and his brother. Dean hears him say that he loves them. 

“I love you too,” are the only words Dean can manage out, in a coarse whisper. 

But Sam is the one who has to make things right. He crushes the pearl. John slowly disappears in a haze of golden light. Tracks of tears are wet on all of their faces, but Dean is the first one who has to lock it all away. 

He remembers that you’re still waiting in the other room. 

Wiping at his eyes, he leaves Sam to comfort their mother and hurries out there, to the room where Dean left you…only to find your chair empty. 

A tendril of panic churns in his gut, but he has to remind himself that they’ve set things right. Even if you’ve run off, you can’t have gone far. 

He calls your name as he heads for the door to the garage. He picks up his keys and his phone to call you, but he stops at the foot of the stairs.

He sees you at the top of them, having dropped your duffel bag at your feet. Your name falls from his lips again.

You turn around and hold a hand to your head, with your brows furrowed in discomfort. Your gaze travels down to his.

“Dean?” you call out.

You head down the stairs, and Dean meets you there at the bottom. He pulls you into a tight, desperate hug. His hand comes up to cup the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair. Even though you’re still a bit confused, you hold him back to reassure him, and to steady yourself. 

“What happened?” you ask.

“We reversed the spell,” he confesses, after he finds his voice. “Had to send him back.”

Your hold becomes more comforting as your hand slides up the back of his neck. 

“Oh, baby. I’m sorry,” you whisper. You card your fingers through his hair. His hold on you tightens even more. You feel his deep, shuddering breaths. He’s trying to contain it all, to push it down. You wish he would allow himself to let it out. 

He presses his lips into your neck instead. 

“You okay?” he asks. Your cheek brushes his when you nod. 

“I’m fine, but…” You pull back enough to see his face. “Did I…forget you? Everyone?”

Dean’s lips press together.

“For a minute there,” he says, “but we got it all worked out.”

You let out a shaky sigh, and you tug him back into a warm hug that you both need. 

Mary prefers to be alone that night. You understand it, but you still apologize and give her a heartfelt embrace in the hallway outside her room. 

It takes her a moment, but she returns it. You start to realize that Winchesters are not a touchy-feely bunch by design. You can’t help yours though; you’re affectionate by nature. You just hope you haven’t overstepped.

Mary gives you a small, teary smile when you eventually pull away. She squeezes your hand before she says goodnight to you and her sons. 

You give Sam a parting hug as well. He rubs your back in a brotherly gesture. 

“Sorry about the whole temporary amnesia thing,” you quip. 

Sam shakes his head with a smile. “Just glad to have you back.”

After he lets you go, Dean thumps his brother on the back. He then heads down the hall without a word.

You and Sam share a look, in which you give him an unspoken promise: I’ll take care of him.

You follow after Dean, who trekked a well-worn path to your shared bedroom. He’s already at the sink, splashing water on his face. After drying himself with a small towel, he sighs and rests his hands on the corners of the sink.

After closing the bedroom door, you go over and slip your arms around him from behind. 

You rest your head against his back, and you both take in some deep breaths. Dean clasps a hand over yours on his chest. 

“I’m okay,” he says. 

“No, you’re not,” you tell him. “And that’s okay.”

Dean stays quiet. For a beat, he closes his eyes. He’s grateful for you. He’s still not sure why you put up with all the hellish shit that surrounds his life.

He turns in your arms so he can cup your cheek, smoothing his thumb across your skin. 

“You know how much I love you right now?” he says, even though his deep voice cracks. Tears well up in your eyes, but you smile and you nod. 

“Yeah, I do,” you reply, resting a hand on his chest. “I love you back.” 

He frames your face with his hands and bows his head to kiss you. It’s fraught and devouring, and a bit greedy. You’re willing to give him whatever he needs right now, especially when his hands slip under your shirt and raise it over your head with practiced ease. In turn, you help him shrug out of the flannel and everything else.

You seat him down on the edge of the bed and stroke his face, his neck, his bare shoulders. His fingers press into your thick thighs as he encourages you to climb aboard, straddling his hips.  

Michael still paces back and forth in his mind, but for now, Dean’s able to tune it out and focus on this moment, with you. 

AN: This ended up being another long one. Lots of angst and feels, but I sincerely hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun with this chapter of the Espresso-verse. 💜

Keep Reading:

Next up in this series is "In Bad Weather." It acts as the finale of the Espresso-verse, though I'm still writing stories within the world to fill in the gaps when different prompts come to mind:

Summary: You and Dean tackle the biggest possible monkey wrench in your relationship yet: could Chuck have been manipulating you two all along? [Set in S15 - “Fix It” for season finale]

▶️ Next Story: In Bad Weather

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Dean Winchester One-Shots

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Dean W. Tag List:

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91

@melancholictearz @nic-kolas @sanscas @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19

@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @deanfreakingwinchester @chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords

[beetlemancy]

top five Liam RP moments?

1. Vax’s goodbye.    There’s a lot here. Vax’s entire storyline was quite a feat and was so meaningful to so many people, but especially to Liam himself. As many of us know but maybe some CR2 critters don’t, this was during a time in his life that was really tough and a lot of what Vax went through was Liam working out his POV on death, family, and the purpose of existence. It was especially moving for those of us who have dealt with this kind of death - the kind that you can see coming. It’s different from other kinds, and so rarely portrayed as beautifully and as truthfully, ugliness and all, as Vax’ildan. Because of all that, this scene is still monumentally heartwrenching and is my go-to cry catalyst when I need to parse through my own darkness.

2. The Wedding Gift     This came after several VM oneshots where we were aching for Vax. We knew it could never happen because both Liam and Matt never wanted to do a disservice to the story. Yet it was still like being unable to scratch an itch - watching everyone but Liam get to play in Vox Machina’s skins again was SO frustrating. And so when this happened, it was in equal parts amazing and horrific - perfectly Vax in every way. Liam’s choices made here were especially strong. The voice being familiar, but different. His movements being slower, more fluid, but still so clearly Vax. His distance, but then the way he sank into his sister, the way he wrapped Keyleth up in his arms. Liam also made an excellent choice in playlist for this one-shot. Seriously, its genuinely spooky how well they all fit. He also spoke about how he was inspired by the Stephen King short story ‘The Jaunt’ for when he thinks about what Vax is going through. I highly recommend you read it if you can handle existential spookiness - it makes everything about Vax hit different, especially the playlist song ‘Far From Home.’

3. Caleb and the Scourger | (both times)     I have earlier Caleb moments that I think are fantastic RP moments, but it wasn’t until this went down that it was all skyrocketed up to another level entirely. This was our longest taste of how he decided to play with the fact that his native language is Zemnian. He loses the German accent and he loses the filler words and the stumbling. We see Caleb as how he actually is - frighteningly brilliant, witty, and biting. Underneath all that Common and Anxiety is a weapon, after all - but with that anger, such a gentleness and a compassion for his brothers and sisters. The emotions never feel contrary. Yes, they are complicated, but they make perfect sense. Plus, it never fails to impress me how he can come up with things like “Some of us get tired of macabre fairy tales. So you enjoy your mouthful of lies when they choke it out of you” and “I don’t know how my brothers and sisters could stomach wearing that mantle of loyalty knowing it was woven so thoroughly from sin.’ Like, go off, boo.

4. The Experience     I’ve talked about this scene before, but you’ve given me an excuse to only focus on Liam here. This is… possibly in my top five clips that I rewatch the most often. It’s just. so. fucking. funny. And I live for watching all of the cast, but especially Liam, eat up the crowd’s energy and place it right back into the RP. Before he was dealt his particular fate, Vax was always a trickster first. He never lost this, not even later on when things got very dark. I appreciated this. Gallows humor is a common coping mechanism for those of us who can see the end a little more clearly. In this case, I just really appreciate the word play. There is a theory that Liam is actually The Bard himself, reincarnated, and this scene is definitely one that showcases that potential. The fey chaos in his ability to improv all of this doublespeak, purposefully weaving ‘accidental’ innuendo into every line, never ceases to amaze.

5. Liam and his Badass Cleric Ladies     This might be cheating but its something I wanted to talk about in particular - Liam gives his other characters SUCH life and such fascinating differences and I want mostly to talk about the body language and vocal aspect of his RP. I made a big post about the whole casts’ body language forever ago and it was super fun. But to this day it still impresses the shit out of me. These two are my favorite one-shot characters of his but they’re also a fun way to show the subtleties of difference and how important those differences are to the characters. On surface level, they’re both Liam playing a cleric, a woman, and they have similar accents. But even context aside, they feel different, and its due to the quirks in body language and vocal quality he gave them.Liam as Lieve’tel Toluse : floaty, slower, she has all the time in the world and she’s seen more shit than you. She’s looked Death in the face and decided to have a chill life. She is calm in the face of rage and has practice doing so. It’s reflected in the ease in which she holds herself and how she talks. Tall, but relaxed. Flirty, but like she’s not worried about the result. He gives her grace. She speaks gently, but loud enough to be heard by all. Her body language is open too - she’s there for support and makes it known in how she presents herself.Liam as Jayne Merriweather: a bit like Lieve’tel in that she floats in a similar manner, both physically and vocally. But Jayne stops. Like, she will find a spot and stare daggers. She cackles when she can’t contain her madness. Her quiet isn’t relaxed - its itchy. Listening to and watching her is like watching a cat about to pounce but being always stuck in the tension just before it does. She’s got a devilish smile and you can almost see the metaphorical flames behind her eyes. Liam plays her most of the time with an expression somewhere in the middle of amusement and ‘come at me bro.’ Jayne is hungry - mostly for chaos. Although her accent is essentially the same as Lieve’tel, her voice is a bit higher, and more sinister. She’s also not as slow as Lieve’tel, just more deliberate. Her confidence doesn’t come from being steady. It comes from always being one step away from a murder spree.

[sheblog876]

Shazam Cyberpunk

For all those people who find it more convenient to bother you with their question rather than to Google it for themselves. A poster on /v/ called out cyberpunk 2077 for being likely to turn out to be garbage weeks in advance using shazam as a avatar of sorts. Meme usually goes: it doesn't (needed or promised part of a game here) over and over, showing how retarded the cyberchuds were for clammering for a game that wasn't even out. May not be the first movie to jump to mind during Christmas, but it's actually perfect for the holiday season. Cyberpunk 2077 PC Users Reporting Worse Performance After 1.2 Update. For all those people who find it more convenient to bother you with their question rather than to Google it for themselves. Listen to Hole In The Sun From Cyberpunk 2077 by Point Break Candy & Raney Shockne Feat. COS & Conway, 21,769 Shazams. Discovered using Shazam, the music discovery app.

It's the time of year when people like to reach for some of their favorite Christmas movies. Maybe they like to go old-school and revisit sentimental stories like It's A Wonderful Life or the original Miracle on 34th Street. Perhaps they prefer something more comedic like Christmas Vacation or A Christmas Story. Then again, maybe they like to buck tradition and choose something that's not seen as a traditional Christmas movie like Die Hard or Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. However, there's one recent movie that hits all three beats perfectly. As it turns out, Shazam! may just be the perfect movie to watch during the holiday season.

Released in early 2019, Shazam! just managed to miss a 2018 holiday release (that honor went, instead, to Aquaman). Like Wonder Woman before it, the film appeared to buck the trend of DC movies being dark and almost nihilistic to a fault. Instead, it offered a bright, comedic, and touching story about a boy who is granted power beyond his wildest dreams and must learn how to properly wield it. It also happens to take place during the Christmas season, lending everything an extra-cheerful feeling, which can sometimes juxtapose its more sinister imagery.

RELATED: Will Harley Quinn Die In The Suicide Squad?

That brings to mind another unconventional Christmas movie: Gremlins. The fun and frightening holiday movie utilizes Christmas lights, snow, carols, and Santa to perfectly contrast the terror that the Gremlins bring to Kingston Falls. In Shazam!, this same idea is present in the final battle, which pits Billy and the rest of the Shazam family against the seven deadly sins. These frightening creatures are lent an extra-menacing and haunting appearance by director David F. Sandberg, whose eye for horror is apparent in movies like Lights Out and Annabelle: Creation.

The Christmastime setting also lends a bit of extra flavor throughout the movie, giving moments that might be flat in other superhero films just a bit of a seasonal touch. Another unconventional Christmas movie did this as well: Die Hard. While that film is ostensibly about a lone cop taking down a group of criminals, the fact that it takes place during Christmas lends everything more character. Would the 'now I have a machine gun ho ho ho' scene be the same if it wasn't taking place during December? The same can be said of the shopping mall encounter with Dr. Sivana in Shazam!. Having the hero and villain face off in a crowded mall would be fine enough, but the fact that the chaos is happening around Christmas decorations and holiday shoppers just helps it stand out a bit more.

Shazam! is also not a film that skimps on sentimentality. While it may appear to be a typical superhero tale, at its heart, Shazam! is a movie about family, a theme that can be found in countless Christmas movies (as well as Christmas episodes of popular TV shows). Specifically, it's about the idea that the people who are considered to be 'family' don't necessarily have to be related by blood. This theme is front and center, as young Billy Batson, who spends his time running from foster homes and attempting to find his birth mother, is taken in by Victor and Rosa Vasquez, who seem to have nothing but good intentions for him.

When Billy finally locates his actual mother, her admission that she intentionally abandoned him is totally crushing. It also supports the idea that sometimes family is something to be found, not be born into. It's a heartwarming lesson, one that is made more effective by the fact that Billy's foster siblings are great kids who really care about him (plus, has there ever been a more adorable character in a superhero film than Darla?). Dr. Sivana serves as a smart contrast to this, with the film's opening showing how both his father and brother belittle him. Later in the story, Sivana returns to kill both of them.

Cyberpunk Neon

Max Brhon Cyberpunk Lyrics

Despite the unconventional feel and the story that tugs at the heartstrings, Shazam! also delivers on one element that makes any Christmas movie a million times better: humor. The movie never falls short on playing up how bizarre the situation is, or how a kid would actually act if they were given superpowers. Billy Batson's early days playing around with his various abilities are kind of like Peter Parker discovering his spider-powers, only without the tragedy of a loved one being murdered.

Zachary Levi does an incredible job embodying the enthusiasm and attitude of a 14-year-old kid, but he wouldn't be nearly as good if he didn't have someone as funny as Jack Dylan Grazer to play off of. The comedic chemistry these two have together make many of the early scenes (which are usually a drag in an origin movie) so much more enjoyable to watch.

At this time of year, there's no shortage of Christmas movies to choose from, and while there are so many classics that still make an impression, it's never too late to add a new favorite to the holiday playlist. Shazam! could be just that movie, one that hits every beat that a good Christmas flick should.

MORE: Marvel's She-Hulk Series Will Be A Half-Hour Legal Comedy

Shazam Cyberpunk Movie

Alien: Isolation Will Be Free on Epic Games Store This Week

[popwasabi]

“Parasite” Review: Class Warfare through Master Class Film-Making

Directed by Bong Joon-ho

Starring: Choi Woo-shik, Song Kang-ho, Park-So-dam, Cho Yeo-jeong, Chang Hyae-jin

 Given director Bong Joon-ho’s relative success over the last 10-plus years it’s pretty astounding it’s taken me this long to finally see one of his movies and well “Parasite” is a hell of a first impression.

Though I can’t speak on the quality of his dystopian sci-fi hit “Snowpiercer” or, more surprisingly as a monster movie fan, his giant tadpole thriller “The Host,” “Parasite” is a powerful look at class warfare and social and economic inequality that translates well beyond Korean society.

But more than it’s social messaging “Parasite” is a supremely well-directed film; a dark comedy with a distinct rhythm that will have you humming along all the way to its shocking finish.

“Parasite” tells the story of Kim Ki-woo and his poor family living in the slums. They make ends meet by assembling pizza boxes for a living and taking odd jobs when necessary. One day, chance arrives in the form of Ki-woo’s friend Min-hyuk who is tutoring a rich family’s daughter in English. Min-hyuk asks him to take his place while he studies abroad, forging papers to appear as an authentic English tutor. When Ki-woo begins to see how easy it is to fool the rich family into giving him a job he begins to scheming to have the rest of his family join him to milk the rich household as much as they can.

Watching “Parasite” may be akin to viewing a beautiful yet haunting painting. Each scene feels exquisitely framed and there’s a visual voyeurism to each scene that’s creepy, like that of a horror film. You almost wonder if the rich Park family house were going to have real ghosts at some point but instead the terror is much more contextual.

(Being wealthy is hard, man...)

Each scene has a distinct rhythm with well thought out setups and payoffs revolving around the Kim family’s planning and later on the chaos that ensues when it all goes to hell. The film keeps the viewer hooked to its brisk pace from start to finish with effective editing, cinematography, and a dark sense of humor.

The movie will have you laughing about as often as it’ll have you gasping by its end and though its story is self-contained in its setting it nonetheless it executes it all with big ideas and wit that will keep you glued throughout its two-hour runtime.

(I’ll let smarter writers than myself break this down more in depth. WARNING SPOILERS.)

It’s Bong’s superb cast that truly gels all these unique stylings together to create an effective story of class strife.

Song Kang-ho is dark-humored and aloof as the Kim family patriarch counter to the Park’s Lee Sun-kyun who plays a distant father who looks stay above the riff-raff of those below him. Park So-dam who plays Ki-jeong (aka Jessica) is dry and deadpanned in her delivery almost like a Korean Aubrey Plaza and steals each scene she’s in. Cho Yeo-jeong is great as the well-meaning matriarch of the Park family who nags and pesters her children and gets easily hoodwinked by the Kim family con.

Choi Woo-shik’s Kim Kee-woo (aka Kevin) is the beating heart of the film though representing the story’s complex, nuanced sense of morality. Kee-woo’s outlook on the world and society around him fluctuates with new information as his con eventually unravels and Choi gives the character a very human touch that goes beyond simply portraying him as an aggrieved poor person. Rather Choi shows the complex realities faced by people who eventually do wrong to horrible things to survive.

Movies of this ilk though tend to paint the two sides of social and economic inequality in binary terms. The rich are dastardly, unloving, mustache twirlers and the poor are kind-hearted, selfless, salt of the earth types. Like these characters the real world is a lot more nuanced and “Parasite” sets out to make this pretty clear with its theme immediately.

(You hear that, James??)

The rich Park family, though they don’t think highly of those quite literally below them, they are still a loving bunch who looking out for the best interests of their children while the Kim’s are con artists who are fine with manipulating them to gain a few extra dollars in their miserable lives. But Bong doesn’t want the viewer to think too much of their personalities; he wants viewers to see the forest not the trees.

People resort to desperate sometimes criminal measures when living in extreme poverty. We all need to survive somehow and when things are truly terrible we do all that is necessary to keep our heads above water. The Kims, though manipulative for sure, are not malicious; they’re desperate which is consistently apparent each time the film reverts back to their slum apartment located in the back alleys where drunks routinely piss themselves in front of their window. The movie doesn’t set out to condone the actions of the Kims but rather show us what happens in a society that neglects its worst off.

We’re all taught at a young age that becoming rich and/or famous is an attainable goal but with the world consistently resetting the starting line further and further back, “keeping up with the Jones” becomes a more and more unattainable goal. Short of a revolution, not much is going to change without systemic change up top and the film’s conclusion makes it hauntingly clear.

Those at the top want us fighting amongst ourselves for scraps because it takes the attention off the fact they are hoarding everything else. If we don’t stand together in class solidarity then we will continue to destroy each other instead of the system that vastly favors the wealthy.

(*Coughs*)

“Parasite” is a supremely well designed and thoughtful film that tackles class solidarity, poverty, and strife in a creative way that has you laughing at its often dry and dark sense of humor while transfixed by its narrative and poignant theme.

Whether you’ve seen Bong’s other films or not, “Parasite” firmly establishes this director as one to watch going into the new decade and beyond as his craftsmanship, attention to detail, and enthralling sense of storytelling is clearly among the best.

May we all be able to see the world through the same nuanced and complex lens as Bong as well going into 2020 and beyond.

 VERDICT:

5 out of 5

*In George Lucas voice* It’s like poetry. It rhymes.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-7th Place

>Insert long exaggerated sigh here<

It’s here that I really, really, REALLY hope nobody that I know personally is reading these.

(Also, sorry that this was a day late)

#7-My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (2010-2019)

The Plot: In the land of Equestria, a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle moves to a happy little town called Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. There, she meets her best friends Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. Together they’ll do what most friends do. Which is to sing songs, defeat creatures who seek to destroy everything, and learn that friendship truly is magic.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. Hell, I knew what you were thinking before I even explained the plot: “Isn’t this just a show for little girls that twenty-year-old losers fell in love with? How is this in the top 10?!” Now I’ll be the first to admit, there was a time when I didn’t get it either. When I heard that a fanbase grew around a My Little Pony reboot, I thought people were losing their minds. But, on one fateful day in 2014, my curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to watch ONE episode that seemed interesting to me. Unfortunately, it was the first episode in season two, and I had no idea what was going on within the first few minutes. So then I decided to watch the entirety of season one and then ONLY watch that episode in season two. And the episode after that because apparently, it was a two-parter. And then I watched the next episode after THAT because it also seemed interesting to me, plus the episode after that, for no reason other than I just wanted to. And then I watched all the rest of the series until the season four finale. And the two spin-off movies called Equestria Girls and Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks. Soon, I found myself reading fan-fiction, writing fan-fiction, looking at fanart, and even reading these spin-off comics that aren’t even canon, but I just couldn’t leave this magical world because it TOOK ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR FOR THE FIFTH SEASON TO PREMIER! ALL BECAUSE I JUST WANTED TO WATCH AN EPISODE WHERE A CHAOS CREATURE MENTALLY BROKE OUR MANE CHARACTERS! AND YES! I DID WRITE MANE INSTEAD OF MAIN BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THIS SHOW DOES TO YOU! IT MAKES YOU SO ACCUSTOMED TO THE WRITING AND LINGO, THAT’S WITHIN BOTH THE SHOW AND IT’S INSANE FANDOM, THAT YOU’LL END UP CATCHING YOURSELF FROM SAYING MANEHATTAN INSTEAD OF MANHATTAN!

>SCREAMS WITH INSANITY<

…

So as you can tell, this show is surprisingly good once you get infested.

The biggest hook it has is the animation. While it doesn’t beat The Amazing World of Gumball’s quality, it is pretty impressive when considering that it’s all done in flash animation. Most flash animated cartoons tend to look cheap and slow, and Friendship is Magic is thankfully one of the rare exceptions. The movements are insanely smooth, and the facial expressions are pretty comical to look at. Even in the background of scenes, viewers will notice a lot of little jokes the animators put in. Seriously, the biggest reason why I kept watching the series for so long was that it was nice to look at (which is the case for most people, from what I’ve heard). And the best part? The animation somehow gets better with each passing season. And only 0.1% of the time does it show it’s cheapness, which isn’t that big of a deal considering there are two hundred and thirty-two episodes with a twenty-two-minute runtime. That’s nearly five thousand, one hundred, and four hours of animation that’s good for 99.9% of the time. While you could argue that it’s not the best, it is still pretty good animation quality.

Another thing that drew me in was the comedy. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean Friendship is Magic is the funniest show on the list (that also goes to Gumball). Humor is subjective, and just because I found myself laughing with this series, that doesn’t mean everyone will be on the same page. That being said, I was surprised by the fact that I found the show funny in the first place. It’s hard to pinpoint what type of humor the show relies on (for me, at least). For some cases, Friendship is Magic has dialogue-based jokes that use smart or random lines to get a laugh out of audiences. Other times it's visual humor that requires slapstick or comical facial expressions that will make people laugh. But while its comedy falls between two different spectrums, that doesn’t change the fact that I find myself losing it every once in a while. Even during some of the worst episodes of Friendship is Magic, there’s at least one line or gag that got me to chuckle at least once.

However, both the animation and the comedy cannot top the main selling point of this series: The characters. Friendship is Magic might just have one of the biggest cast of characters out of any show on this list. Most of them manage to be funny, relatable, and are downright likable to watch. What’s even more astonishing is how well this show handles character growth. To be fair, there can be certain characters whose development is slow, but for the most part, everybody grows significantly with each new lesson they’ve learned. There are even moments when the characters say something along the lines of “I’m no longer that pony I used to be anymore because I finally learned how to change.” However, this doesn’t mean that every pony in the show is worth the time. There are a few unlikeable characters, but they’re either meant to be unlikable, forgotten after an episode’s end, or are redeemed after a triumphant return.

This is good because it’s the characters that make the stories in the show work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is split into two different storytelling genres: Slice of life comedy and adventure fantasy. And unlike Steven Universe, it’s Friendship is Magic that mixes both these genres together perfectly. I’m not joking when I say that an episode where Twilight rekindles an old friendship can be just as intriguing as an episode where Twilight fights this soul-sucking centaur made to look like the devil. Hell, some fans even argue that the slice of life episodes are even better than the adventurous episodes. Because while the adventure episodes are cool and action-packed, it’s the slice of life episodes where the characters are allowed to grow the most and are actually given time to be themselves. As for the grand adventures, while their fun to see, the cast is forced to stick to their central personality traits to move the plot forward.

Unfortunately, as fun as this show can be, I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it. Not because there are elements that I think are bad, but because there are elements that might turn people away from watching. And the most significant repulse this show has is also the most important hook.

Yes, the characters in this show are great, but there’s also a lot of them. Some might even say too many. By season nine alone, there are a total of twenty-seven different characters that have the possibility of taking/sharing the spotlight in an episode. And that’s not even counting important figures, recurring antagonists, supporting characters, and even recognizable background ponies (yes, that’s a thing). Because if you want to add those to the mix, you’ve got yourself a total of one hundred and twenty-seven characters (give or take). That is one hundred and twenty-seven different names, faces, and personalities to try to keep track of. Luckily the personalities are easy enough to remember, and it’s mostly the most (in)famous figures that make a return. Even for some of the obscure characters, the show is kind enough to give a brief recap so the audience can get caught up. However, this is reasonably a lot to take in for a casual viewer. Case in point, in season eight, the show decided to add six new characters to the main cast, and it only took me a season and a half to learn their names correctly. It’s even worse since these “new” characters can sometimes feel like carbon copies of the Mane Six (Yes, that’s how the main six characters in the show are referred to as. Deal with it).

And the excessive amount of unnecessary characters are just one issue to deal with. The lessons that the show teaches are another. Before I say anything, I want to clarify that this show has fantastic lessons it teaches kids. In fact, there are even great lessons that are perfect for adults and only adults (know your audience, I guess). However, here’s the thing about morals: Not everyone will share the same view on what’s good and bad to teach children. Every person on this planet has their own life experiences, and with those experiences come different ideas of how the world works. One person can believe that a lesson is good, where others view it as awful and potentially dangerous. Things get especially bad when specific morals are misinterpreted or taken too literally. The best example is the episode “Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep.” I believe that there are two possible lessons within the episode. One is that to truly be forgiven, a person must seek forgiveness from themselves and others. The other conceivable moral is that the cure for self-destruction is to get over it and move on without any professional help whatsoever. Now, take a wild guess on which lesson gets talked about more. And in all honesty, I blame poor/rushed writing that causes specific morals to be muddled, as well as a person’s own life experience in whether or not you find an episode’s lesson to be intriguing or insulting.

Another thing that depends on one’s own personality is (kinda spoilers ahead) how this show handles reformations. I may have commented on how Steven Universe uses redemption poorly, but it’s even worse in Friendship is Magic. This show seems to have the idea that the transition from bad to good is as simple as flipping a light switch. Now, on the one hand, this is not something I should be mad about. The show’s title is Friendship is Magic. So, of course, the series would push that making friends will lead to peace and prosperity. Where making enemies will lead to war and violence. The problem is that from a storytelling standpoint, it isn’t that entertaining. Or, at the very least, not as much as it should be. The art of a good reformation is taking the time for the transition to be believable. Characters suddenly deciding to become good seemingly out of nowhere will do nothing but have audiences rip their hair out of frustration. It doesn’t help that most of the villain’s reasoning and backstories are pretty pathetic when they actually should be sympathetic. However, while the reformation itself can be frustrating, I personally think some characters are made more intriguing post redemption. Don’t get me wrong, these villains were great as they were, being the perfect mix of both funny and terrifying. But when the show actually allows characters to grow and deserve the hand-er-hoof of friendship, they begin to have more fascinating personalities to dissect. Now, not everyone is going to feel this way. And if you genuinely believe these villains were better as villains, I can absolutely see why. But for me, I’ve come to enjoy how far these ex-cons have come from their more evil days. 

But none of this compares to the final controversial element that this show has to offer, where there is a fifty/fifty chance that you’re either going to love it or hate it. I, of course, am talking about...the songs. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic has four different types of songs. Depending on the episode, these musical numbers have many purposes. They can move the story forward, only work within the episode’s context, try to one-up Disney, and reveal everything you need to know about a character. Now here’s the thing about the music: I don’t hate it. I’ll admit that the lyrics are pretty lackluster most of the time, but at least most of them sound pleasing to my ears. But I have heard how some people seem to hate these little numbers, and I’m willing to put money on that fans even skip them. Everybody has their own tastes in music, and there’s nothing I can do to convince them otherwise. Only respect their opinions and hope they do the same to mine.

In the end, your enjoyment of this series, once again, depends on who you are. Some of you might think this is a dumb kid's show that should only be viewed by children. Some of you will understand that this show has great characters, comedy, and animation, but you just don’t think it’s for you. And some of you might be like me. A person overwhelmed with curiosity over the weirdest phenomenon in the last eleven years and ended up being pleasantly surprised with how magical the show turned out to be.

(And just a heads up, you don’t have to watch the Equestria Girls spin off series or movies in order to enjoy Friendship is Magic. EG isn’t technically canon, and the only noteworthy thing that makes it worthwhile is Sunset Shimmer. And while I personally don’t hate it, I completely understand how others will. But you do need to see My Little Pony: The Movie (2017), though. It surprisingly plays a big part in season 8 and beyond.)

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff’s Best of 2018

WARNING: I just want to say cheers to you for making it through another year. I send you best wishes for next year to be fruitful. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.

Dedicated to Stan Lee, Stefán Karl and Stephen Hillenburg, the number ones of children entertainment

Bow Whacka Wow, playas and players. 2018 gave us quite a lot to consume while society continues to fumble like a Tumblr update. While hopefully the chaos has died down for the final weeks of the year, I’m counting down the best cartoons/animations I’ve seen and loved this year in no particular order. Only two rules, no sneak previews of future projects (sorry 101 Dalmatian Street and MP100) and no potential entries from last year’s list (sorry True). With that said, roll it....

10. UNIKITTY!

I love the Lego Movie. I’ll potentially like the sequel. I like Unikitty. She got a show, and it was a great show to start off the year. Upbeat, colorful, off the walls sometimes, perfectly capturing the spirit of the eponymous character. I’m glad the other characters are just as enjoyable, I never get tired of the theme song, every episode had me smilin’ one way or another, it’s just a quality bottle of positivity juice. Don’t know how else to explain it, Unikitty, the show and character, just makes and continues to make me smile.

9. POP TEA-- SIKE!

This anime ain’t nothing but unfunny randomness and skits with a forgetful arc in the first and final episode. I don’t get it, never gonna get it, so I don’t want to get it! MORE LIKE POOP TEAM EPIC, ‘nuff said. Which is why the actual number nine is....

9. BOB EPIC TEAM

Honestly, there is something endearing about the way Bob Epic Team presents itself. The simplicity and variety of its animation is remarkably good and makes it feel timeless sometimes. The comedy works in a way that gives you a clear grasp on the two characters while letting them do whatever they want. The surrealism of this is fun to think about, showcasing a hedonistic philosophy that rivals that of Epicurus. The duo’s chemistry is what especially got me, as they felt like the best of friends, potentially love birds *wink wink*. This anime was just creative in every sense of the word and, like Unikitty, it was a great anime to start of the year.

8. CRAIG OF THE CREEK

The ska is RAH. I honestly find this to be the loose spiritual successor to Hey Arnold and Recess. Like the playground, the creek is a well fleshed out setting with the many characters that hang there, from the TAZ trio to the loving witches of the creek. Though I will say the best episodes are when we get insight on the main three’s personal lives with their families and when the characters themselves go through a personal trial to understand themselves a little better. The shows thrives in the theme that the creek is a place where you can enjoy getting your hands dirty and work towards something you want, even if it doesn’t add to any concrete long term benefit beyond learning a thing or two about yourself and others. And I say for somebody that relates to Craig as a character, that’s a welcoming thought that the show has yet to perish. And the ska is a welcome choice of music, IMO.

7. THE EPIC TALES OF CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS

It’s funny in how a little over a year of getting a movie, Captain Underpants gets an animated series with not only original stories in lieu of just animating the already printed stories, but puts it all in a format similar to reading a book with a sardonic narrator and separating the plot of the episode into chapters with subtitle cards; one of the first I’ve seen do this. But really, a “Captain Underpants cartoon” is something I can’t say would turn out bad, and I’m right as this is a show that revels in what made CU great in the first place. George, Harold, Melvin, and Mr. Krupp/Captain Underpants are all great characters with the additional supporting cast providing welcome life to the world. Every Incredible Violence Chapter is brilliant in their own right, and while I wasn’t a fan of the ending they had for the season, it’s great that almost every episode is self-contained, boosting its replay value. Honestly, any compliment I have for this was already said in my review of this and the movie, so I’ll just say this too was faithful to its source material and benefited heavily for it.

6. GARY AND HIS DEMONS

Rick and Morty done better. BOOM, send tweet! It is safe to say that this was quite the sleeper hit and I can’t help but say it’s lowkey one of the best adult cartoons this year next to Ballmastrz and Final Space. And while I certainly appreciate the other two *hint hint* this one got a step above on the grounds that it works as a comedy and a solemn tale of a chosen hero that stumbles through years in the office life. It’s improv humor feels natural and it can be as melancholic as Bojack Horseman without making it all too deep like so; has a great balance of both. Main man Gary, unlike Rick for the most part, is a guy that’s both reasonably reprehensible yet pretty relatable. Not to mention, while it was bittersweet, it had a very satisfying finale to where I feel like this was a complete series all together. With a rough art style that compliments it’s tone, this was a series that surprised me in its sharp quality.

5. APPLE & ONION

I’ll admit. Initially wasn’t a fan of it as it felt like a knock-off to Regular Show (may it rest). Just had a duo of bros living together, doing mundane labor while coming up with impromptu tunes along the way. Then again, I was gladly proven wrong because the charm of it generally being a simple show, even with every person being food, somehow more regular than Regular Show. Every song they make is upbeat and catchy, all of the characters are endearing, and with only 10 episodes, each one was well paced and had quality writing to the point where I teared up a couple times. It stinks that this and Summer Camp Island have generally been receiving the shaft this year after their premieres, but I'm just glad that they haven’t been truly forgotten by CN and are getting more episodes next year. Plus, I love food and this show is about food. Debate over.

4. LEGEND OF THE THREE CABALLEROS

I was familiar yet never saw The Three Caballeros, ironic since Donald is one of my favorite Disney characters. But then, out of the blue, I found this and I was stunned, amazed, confused, nonetheless invested. It has a bumpy start, but it’s a joyous adventure from that start to end. The look of it is something I’ve rarely seen in animation since... freakin’ Wakfu. I love Xandra and I was glad to see her be an active player on the team. The villains are such a hammy delight. And Jose and Panchito were very lively and entertaining foils to Donald’s cynic nature while all three work as well together like the 3 stooges. Donald himself gets a great arc of his own throughout the season. And the theme, HO MY GOD I LOVE THIS THEME! It’s a damn shame Disney hasn’t released this already (since it’s all online already) because this series is much better than it has any right to be.

3. GOLDEN WIND/VENTO AUREO

I say, the beauty of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is that regardless of what part you start from, you’re enthralled into its world and ya feel compelled to dig into it more. Parts 3 was what got me into Jojo, like most I bet, but it was part 5 that got me “Oh yeah, this series [just] works on more than level”. The characters are what keep me hooked, regardless of Crunchyroll refusing to give their stands proper English names [Zipper Man, CR?], Fighting Gold and Freak ‘n You will never get old, and David Productions putting great effort into the small details and giving life and style to the original manga. I’ll just say, as one who’s read and loved the manga, this anime has not ceased to keep me impressed and guessing for more.

2. INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

Funking superb, you afro having web-slinger. I hate to say it, but 2018 didn’t have the most impressive line-up of western animated features. Most were average, entertaining sure, but nothing felt like 110% was given. Until Spidah-Man came on the scene and I was like “WIG...

The only major problem I have with this film, besides a bit of slow pacing, is more of a missed opportunity where the stakes of getting the Spidermen back to their dimensions before dying felt like an afterthought. Then again, that’s ALL I have for problems. It looks fantastic. The action is smooth, coherent, and satisfying to see. The tiny details and comic book aesthetic of it was a blessed touch. I loved almost every character here. Nick Cage and John Mulaney. The fact that it has so much yet was able to juggle it all blew my mind. Even the post credits scene made this such a love letter to the wall-crawler. This film was refreshing to say the least and the central theme behind the idea of Spider-Man made this as great of a superhero movie as Infinity War and Lego Batman. Just saying, this better make its budget back and THEN SOME. It deserves it.

1. HILDA

Netflix, we’re not on good terms mind you, but ya done did it again. This is honestly one of the few shows that I genuinely took my time with as opposed to binging it, because binge watching is a devil in itself. Like the Spider-verse movie, it got the style of its source material down to cozy colored T with its autumn color palette and etched lining in the characters. Like the Captain Underpants series, while having a grounded arc of Hilda journeying through the city life and her colliding wildlife, each episode can be generally be enjoyed on their own. Like Gary and His Demons, it felt like a complete season and the fact it’s getting a season two made things all the better. But above all, it was a generally peaceful yet captivating fantasy cartoon to watch with incredible animation, an endearing main character, amazing looking folk creatures of all sizes and powers, and a cuddly deerfox for a pet. I say this is to the fall what Harvey Beaks was to the spring, and if I can compare a show to Harvey Beaks you know you’ve achieved greatness. Like True and the Rainbow Kingdom, gives you a moment of honest bliss and happiness that can influence your outlook on looking forward to better things because like Hilda herself, you push forward and have some fun exploring.

Just saying, I cannot stress this enough this is NOT my number one favorite show of the year, hell of all time. THAT goes to....

1. 👏TEEN 👏TITANS 👏GO, BABEEEEEEY!!

ONCE AGAIN, Teen Titans GO reigns supre-- Huh, what’s that? Oh my god, you’re serious?! The Number One is

TOTAL DRAMARAMA OUT OF NOWHERE! IT IS NOW CARTOON NETWORK’S ‘NEW FAVORITE SHOW’.

THE STREAK *DING DING DING* IS OVER

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 7x14 First Date

aka let’s gay

We did it, guys! We made it to the last season! Also, hello if you’re new, and stumbled upon this without context. As usual, these impromptu text posts are the product of my fevered mind as I rant about the episode I just watched for an hour (okay, sometimes perhaps two). Anything goes!

And today’s episode is kind of just an all-out wacky, absurd and, dare I say, fun ride, until Giles chides us for not paying attention to the plot.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of things about the humor of First Date that either doesn’t work, or you judge yourself for laughing at. It straddles a similar line as Him, and it’s mostly up to your personal preferences to decide how you end up judging it by the end.

But the episode also relies on other elements. Willow trying to wiretap the First is kind of bizarre, but intense, and the reveal of Robin’s mom being the Slayer Spike killed in New York is pretty dark.

I also gotta give it to First Date. This one does a much better job tying its different subplots together than something like The Killer in Me, where there’s little to no connection between storyline A, B and C. The scene where Buffy, Willow and Xander make fun of each other’s dating habits is easily one of my favorites.

But let’s also talk a bit about the Bad, the Questionable and the Weird.

Ashanti plays Xander’s love interest here who he goes out on a date with. She ends up being a demon, who ties him up over the Hellmouth seal, to open it with his blood, and when Buffy and co. rescues him, they cut off her head. Her appearance also changes at that point, probably because they realized that it’d be kinda disturbing to show a beheaded human-looking demon.

Now, if you’ve watched this show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer previously, you might’ve heard of the trope of the black female character dying first in your media. Isn’t it crazy that the thing that the character on the show pointed out happened on the show? Again? So weird.

Also, she was an evil demon, luring our male hero to his death. Of course.

Now, this really wouldn’t even be all that glaring if the show included a more diverse cast in the first place. But when even the few characters you do have play into these tropes, that’s a problem. I also admittedly haven’t pointed out all instances of this happening in the past, but they just lampshaded it!!! Like, 4-5 episodes ago! You’d think they’d pay more attention following that.

It’s not really a controversial or new opinion to say that Buffy as a show has a race problem, but it’s a bit baffling to see this happen after they already acknowledged it in the text.

And yeah, Xander almost dying as a consequence of saying yes to going home with his date, also speaks to some of the show’s older themes about sex. Because God forgive that you have sex with someone you’re not in love with.

Then there’s Chao-Ahn. Now, this whole shtick about her not speaking English, and Giles obviously misinterpreting everything she says, is a joke made on his expense as much as hers – but when that’s the only representation you get, that’s still gonna be a problem.

Lastly, let’s take a look at Xander’s “gay me up” rant.

I actually like this one, not even gonna lie. There’s plenty of precedence to make an argument for Xander not being straight, and this perhaps being a moment where he opens up to that idea. He’s just using humor to process that, as usual.

Plus, when Buffy suggests that he’d just end up attracting male demons if he started dating men, he doesn’t actually seem all that opposed to the idea. I don’t know, I have fun with this scene, don’t @ me.

And then there’s my boy, Robin, and his Oedipus complex.

(First of all, yes, that naming is super inaccurate. Oedipus’ story is a classic Greek tragedy about fate’s inevitability, not about wanting to fuck your mom. He didn’t even know that it was his mom!! In conclusion, Freud is a fraud.)

Isn’t it weird to go on a date with someone, who’s essentially your mom’s reincarnation in the show’s universe? I think that’s a bit weird, Robin. So is the fact that you’ll end up sleeping with Faith instead.

I think Robin might have some mommy issues, guys.

The First fucking with him, revealing that Spike killed his mom is exactly the kind of way I want the show to use the First’s concept though. Good job, on that one, show. Good job.

On the other hand, I’m less of a fan of Giles bringing down the mood in the room, reminding everyone of the Big Bad. Yes, Giles, we know that the Big Bad is here. And we tried having multiple consequent episodes focusing on that alone, without leaving any breathing room for our characters. It didn’t work.

So let this episode exists, okay? Just let us have some fun before the season bulldozes us over with its plot once again.

If Xander wants to spend some time undressing Scott Bakula in his mind, who are we to stop him?

[daresplaining]

Luke Cage Countdown: 10 Days

Ten Favorite Season 1 Scenes (In No Particular Order)

    We are now T-minus ten days away from Luke Cage Season 2, and so we’re doing our usual countdown to get ourselves (and hopefully other people too) even more pumped up than we already are! In that spirit, here are a few of our favorite scenes from Season 1.

Luke's On It (“Just to Get a Rep”)

    After Luke busts up his operation at the Crispus Attucks Complex, Cottonmouth tries to make him unpopular by ordering crimes to be committed in his name. However, this plan backfires... as the angry citizens of Harlem demand answers, thus prompting Luke to run around beating up Cottonmouth’s minions. It’s a great scene for multiple reasons: it’s funny, it’s cool, it introduces us to some of the colorful characters living in Harlem, thus further endearing us to the neighborhood, and it starts to develop Luke’s status as Harlem’s protector. His personal connection to the community is a big part of the show, and it essentially starts with this mini-marathon of heroism. 

Luke at the Crispus Attucks Complex (“Code of the Streets”)

    This quiet, understated scene serves as a frame for this episode. It’s a personal moment-- just the right amount of preachy-- in which Luke lectures a young man holding him at gunpoint about Crispus Attucks and the n-word. In this episode, Luke is prompted by Pop’s death to finally take a stand and use his powers to make a difference. He uses this negative interaction to voice this decision and his regret at not having made it sooner. The escalating emotion of this scene, the soundtrack, and its placement at the edges of the episode make this a memorable character moment for Luke. 

Misty’s Psych Eval (“DWYCK”)

    This scene, split into several parts throughout the episode, is breathtaking; gorgeously acted and filled with raw emotion. In the wake of her near-death experience with Diamondback, and her subsequent attack on Claire Temple, Misty is subjected to a deep probe of her psyche and past trauma. The conversation lays bare the factors at the core of Misty’s character-- her toughness, her stubbornness, her need for control, and the pain of noticing everything paired with the horror of not noticing what really counts. Watching her throughout this conversation, as her denial and dismissal dissolve into pain, is achingly powerful. As comics readers, we were already Misty fans, but this scene makes us fall in love with her all over again every time we watch it. 

Deep Fried Luke ( “DWYCK”/“Take It Personal”)

    We thought the narrative handling of Luke’s Judas bullet-induced wounds was a little sloppy, but this scene is great. Luke being literally fried in boiling acid to soften up his skin and allow for surgery is the perfect combination of humorous, intense, and just plain wild. It’s bombastic comic book medicine in live action, and we’re suckers for that sort of thing.  

Mariah Kills Cottonmouth (“Manifest”)

    This scene comes out of nowhere, kickstarting Mariah’s rise to power. We thought this abruptness worked, and acted as both a powerful character moment for Mariah and a compelling climax to all of the tension that had been building between her and Cornell in the preceding episodes. Mariah and Cornell’s relationship was messy, unsettled, and emotional, as most sibling relationships are. They butted heads over their careers, both bumbling in their attempts to control and profit off Harlem, while underneath it all bubbled the tension of their traumatic shared childhoods. These weaknesses made them sympathetic antagonists, and Mariah’s outburst in this scene is a moment of pure emotion, in which Cornell says exactly the wrong thing and she reacts accordingly. It’s brutal and surprising, yet feels real because of the spontaneous emotion behind it.

Luke’s Origin Story (“Step in the Arena”)

    Is it cheating to include a whole episode? We honestly couldn’t pick a specific scene from this, since the collective story it tells is what makes it so good. Embedded within a framing narrative of his attempt to dig himself and Connie from the rubble of her restaurant, we’re given a harsh look at Luke’s experiences at Seagate. With spot-on writing, we are made witness to his abuse at the hands of his jailers, his relationship with Reva, and the experiment that gave him his powers. It embraces the spirit of Luke’s origin in the comics, while injecting it with extra nuance, humanity, and pain. We even get to see the yellow v-neck and tiara– which, for us, is a vital component of any Luke Cage adaptation. 

Luke vs. Diamondback at the Apollo (“Blowin’ Up the Spot”)

    This fight is the epitome of both Luke’s relationship with his half-brother, and of the show in general. It’s a theatrical, grandiose, large-scale brawl, set in one of Harlem’s most iconic locations. Already having been injured by Diamondback, Luke– an unstoppable force for most of the story– is literally, figuratively, physically, and emotionally brought to his knees, before dramatically flinging Stryker through the Apollo’s gold double doors. It’s a unique, memorable fight that stands out from the many other fights in Season 1.

Shades’ Elevator Fight (“Soliloquy of Chaos”)

    This scene wins for its pure badassery. Shades is a great character in general-- charismatic, mysterious, delightfully nefarious, yet easy to root for-- and this scene is effective because it seems so obvious that he’s doomed. The amount of time he spends almost dying creates a sense of inevitability, so that when he suddenly, miraculously gains the upper hand, it seems extra badass. The cinematography is striking as well, with breaks in the action created by the elevator moving upward and sliding in and out of the frame. 

“Bulletproof Love” (“Soliloquy of Chaos”)

    One of the greatest elements of this show is the degree to which it ties the fictional Marvel universe to the real world. Harlem, past and present, is celebrated within the narrative, Harlem’s Paradise features a lineup of famous real-world musicians, the events of the show reflect and examine contemporary issues of racism and police brutality, and we are given this great episode of Sway’s Universe, featuring Method Man rapping about Luke Cage. It’s a fun cameo and merging of worlds, while also placing the story within a wider context of black culture and influence. Plus, it’s a great song.   

Mariah’s Power Play (“DWYCK”)

    Mariah’s unwilling-yet-skillful rise to power was one of the highlights of Season 1, and here we see her go head-to-head with Diamondback, who wears narrative tension like a coat. This scene is nerve-wracking, starting with Shades’ assertion that Mariah will die if she shows weakness, and escalating up to Diamondback strolling in, murderizing nearly everyone in sight, then turning his attention to Mariah. Her apparent calm in the face of death, and her ability to talk her way out of the situation reveals just how smart and well-suited she is to this business, while her horrified body language after Diamondback leaves emphasizes her discomfort with this new life. 

[thecomedybureau]

The 100 Best Things in Comedy We Were Witness to in No Particular Order of 2016

2016 is officially, finally, thankfully over (as long as you don’t think about time largely being a human construct, a new number of year doesn’t make things automatically better, and Trump becoming POTUS).

So, it’s time for our year end list, The 100 Best Things in Comedy We Were Witness to in No Particular Order of 2016.

For reference of how we do our year-end, best of lists, which is a far cry from most other comedy best of lists anywhere else, check out our lists from past years: 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2015.

Got it? Great.

Here’s 2016′s edition:

1. Jake Weisman's Send Up of Peter Travers Reviews-Rolling Stone has gone through so much recently, you might have forgot this amazing NSFW parody that Weisman made of Travers movie reviews.

2. Rory Scovel’s set on Conan Where He Went Into the Crowd-Rory Scovel pushes the envelope in stand-up in the best ways imaginable and this latest Conan set is evidence of his juggling of being fearless and silly at the same time.

3. Conan Without Borders-Conan O'Brien's trips overseas to Berlin and South Korea highlight every single comedy gear that Conan can shift into and proves that he can almost make any situation hilarious.

4. "Killer" by Matt Kazman-Kazman achieves one of the best comedic payoffs on screen in 2016, including film and TV, with this incredibly crafted short film.

5. The Jackie and Laurie Show-Jackie Kashian and Laurie Kilmartin found a way to make a podcast where comedians talk comedy and have it be original, damn funny, and crucial.

6  Hebecky Drysbell-Reigning all time UCB Cagematch champions Heather Anne Campbell and Rebecca Drysdale showcase such virtuosity as an improv duo that is as hilarious as it is, when we think about it, beautiful.

7. Chris Estrada-If you’re looking for diamonds in the rough right now, we’d say catch Estrada’s next set and you’ll see how great his jokes are drawing from his life growing up in LA. 

8. Cool Sh*t/Weird Sh*t's Neighborhood Walking Tour-the LA outfit of the experimental comedy show brilliantly took its audience, one night, around the block and staged such moments as a couple fake fighting in a real Food 4 Less, a woman crying trying to explain the plot of a movie in a Walgreens, and running into an adult orphan waiting to be adopted off the street.

9. Womanhood with Aparna Nancherla and Jo Firestone-Nancherla and Firestone compliment each other so well in being goofy on this show that goes through absurd explanations of  “womanhood” that it should be the next web series that gets made into a full fledged TV show. 

10. Fleabag-Phoebe Waller Bridge has the UK's fantastic, epic answer to You're The Worst.

11. Giulia Rozzi's True Love-Rozzi’s hour achieves what a good rom com achieves by skewering love and all of its faults as much as it celebrates it.

12. Mike Leffingwell's 12 Angry Men: The One Man Show-The concept of a single man doing a solo show adaptation of the classic courtroom drama 12 Angry Men is funny enough, but Mike Leffingwell then pulled off performing it perfectly.

13. Josh Sharp doing an hour while dipping in and out of singing D'Angelo's Untitled (How Does It Feel?) with a live band-Sharp's stories are wonderfully crafted and told, and then, accentuated by his lovely voice singing D'Angelo’s most well known song like there's no tomorrow.

14. Not Safe with Nikki Glaser's Remote Segments-Glaser fed porn stars lines for scenes, visited a foot fetish convention, and highlighted sex in such a fun way that wasn’t attempted by any other TV show.

15. Last Week Tonight with John Oliver's Make Donald Drumpf Again-Oliver and company's take down of Trump was one of the best researched, strategized, written, executed pieces on Trump during this whole election cycle.

16. Disengaged-Jen Tullock and Hannah Utt's web series following a lesbian couple rushing into marriage was one of the best pieces of romantic comedy we saw in 2016

17. [F*ck This] Late Night Show with David Brown-In a way, David Brown sees Eric Andre’s rebellion against the traditional late night format and raises it some more chaos. He has a separate creative team ruining his talk show as it happens via flashmobs, waterboarding, etc.

18. Baron Vaughn’s Blaxisential Crisis-Baron Vaughn’s latest album oscillates perfectly between deep and crucial issues of race, class, purpose and flights of imaginative fancy putting Vaughn almost in a class by himself.

19. Crabapples with Bobcat Goldthwait and Caitlin Gill-the odd couple pairing of Goldthwait and Gill is unlike anything comedy has seen before. Because it lives in truth (they really are roommates), it’s one of the best hosting duos in comedy today.

20. Megan Gailey-Gailey, with her stand-up, is simultaneously an undeniable delight and a force to be reckoned with, which only doubles up how delightful she is to watch.

21. Liartown USA-When it comes to parodying covers for books, magazines, Netflix menus, etc., Sean Tejaratchi might just do it better than anyone as you can see above.

22. This Bill Burr joke: “How many Toyota Camrys do you have to see before you realize most people’s dreams don’t come true?”-We usually refrain from transcribing jokes out of context and in print, but we haven’t stopped laughing at this searingly honest joke from Burr since we first saw him work on it several months ago and felt it imperative that it be on this list.

23. Sing Street-The 80s, Ireland, young love, and diegetic musicals get married perfectly in this film by John Carney that spent far too little time in theaters.

24. Derek Sheen's Tiny Idiot-This album made it clear that Sheen could be an heir apparent to Patton Oswalt, bu very clearly has his own, unique comedic take on the world today.

25. Stephen Colbert's Close to His Election 2016 Live Special-For once, the world got to see the real Stephen Colbert who is so intelligent, well spoken, caring, and one of the only people that could pull of dealing with immediate aftermath of an impending Trump win on TV.

26. Will Hines' A Soundly Defeated Man-Hines, in a series of sketch vignettes, takes the comedic self-deprecation to a new level of artistry by showing how defeated one man really can be.

27. The Lobster-Yorgos Lanthimos might have made the best dystopian rom com in recent memory and, possibly, for several years to come.

28. Jena Friedman's American C*nt-Friedman is unrelenting in her dismantling of the patriarchy amongst other several other controversial issues. She handily deals with them in this special, placing her in a very important position in comedy going forward in 2017. 

29. Jamie Loftus-Loftus is that amazing rare breed of comedian that blends dark, absurdist humor with genuine vulnerability and she can do so in her stand-up or through own self-styled animation (ex. doing her own animations for old tapes of how to tell children about someone dying). 

30. Chris Duffy's You Get a Spoon-Duffy’s NYC based, curated variety show is filled with so much positivity from celebrating the favorite things of his favorite performers that you almost can’t leave the show without a smile on your face (or winning a prize).

31. Bear Supply-The quick, music fueled scenes of Mike Castle, Shaun Boylan, Joey Greer, Jordan Bull, Morgan Christensen and James Heaney is impeccable improvisational comedy. 

32. The Cooties-Musical comedy is alive and well with the satirical power pop songs of The Cooties.

33. Aparna Nancherla’s Just Putting It Out There-Aparna’s album is proof positive that her wondrous version of self-deprecation can be ultimately uplifting. 

34. Hunt for the Wilderpeople-Taika Waititi continues his film streak with a charming-as-can-be film about a troubled youth surviving in the wilds of New Zealand.

35. Don't Think Twice-Mike Birbiglia gets really close to hitting too close to home for some people in comedy, but that draws out one of the best depictions of life in comedy (or attempting to do so) that has ever been put into a movie.

36. The Opening of The Pack Theater-The DIY, punk rock, spirit that runs in the veins of much of LA comedy got a new, wonderful outlet at The Pack Theater.

37. Jetzo-Chad Damiani and Juzo Yoshida mash-up improv, clowning, kimonos, dramatic live musical accompaniment, and breaking the fourth wall to make the marvelous whirlwind known as Jetzo.

38. DJ Real (Nick Stargu)-SF comedian Nick Stargu’s alias DJ Real mixes an uncanny command of musicianship with an über-clever style of comedy that dazzled and had us doubling over laughing at the same time.

39. Daniel Webb-Hailing from Austin, TX, stand-up comedian Daniel Webb is a splendid rush of charisma that probably has a better Obama story than almost anyone you know. 

40. Laurie Kilmartin's 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad-Kilmartin’s special, born out of jokes she tweeted while her dad was passing away, is so darkly funny and has an unmistakable humanity, which has us rethinking that maxim of comedy equals tragedy plus time. 

41. Kristin Rand-LA got a brief glimpse of the unstoppable charm of Rand when she moved here from Denver and was all the better for it.

42. James Fritz's Still Together-The way Fritz exquisitely channels rage and bleakness into this debut album is magnificent.

43. Roast Battle-What started as two open mic’ers fighting in a parking lot has now earned its way to a March Madness style tournament shown on Comedy Central and we’re betting that Roast Battle still has much more potential ahead of them.

44. Josh Fadem-Fadem made a return to performing more regularly in 2016 and his magnetic positivity and pure, unabashed goofiness (complete with impromptu costumes) definitely got us through the whole of last year.

45. Sam Jay-Jay moved to LA from Boston and took her insightful, brash, unfiltered comedy (that happens to come through the lens of being a newly married lesbian) and has become a the LA scene favorite almost instantly.

46. Dave Waite's Dead Waite-Dave Waite's latest hour takes being a goofball to new heights of brilliance.

47. Of Oz The Wizard by Matt Bucy-Absurdity doesn't get more pure than Bucy's re-editing the classic film version of The Wizard of Oz and alphabetizing the entire thing, start to finish.

48. This Friday Forty-Most other quiz shows can’t compare to Scott Gimple and Dave Holmes' This Friday Forty that not only has topical trivia, but fantastic sketch characters to introduce said trivia.

49. Jay Larson's Human Math-Few comedians so deftly explore the minutia of human nature like Larson does on this album.

50. Josh Gondelman's Physical Whisper-Gondelman's craftsmanship in observational humor is exceptional on this album and accentuated nicely by his sunny stage persona.

51. Kyle Mizono right after the election-There was a lot of raw nerves exposed in comedians right after Trump's win and few did it so purely and well as Mizono. For a whole set, she screamed her jokes with legitimate fury, but without being off-putting (well, if you’re not a Trump supporter that is). 

52. Lady Dynamite-Maria Bamford’s truth and Mitch Hurwitz’s wildly imaginative way of making episodic television combine for a comedy series that is blazing its own trail at a time where that gets harder and harder to do in a show about the life of a comedian.

53. Hail, Caesar!-The Coen Brothers’ latest comedy set in Hollywood’s Golden Age is one of their sharpest and most beautiful works that has plenty of scenes that could be amazing short films on their own.

54. Moses Storm's Sweater-Moses Storm never ceases to amaze us as he, this time, wore a sweater that had several strings attached to it for audience members to grab so they could literally be connected to him while he's telling a story.

55. Full Frontal with Samantha Bee-Samantha Bee has cemented a legacy in her short time on the air with her take-no-prisoners-and-then-some style of satirical news coverage.

56. Gene Wilder and Fidel Castro's New Year's Rockin' Eve (in Limbo)-UCB’s Beth Appel and Rose Marziale put a hell of a show to end 2016 with as they used the whole of the UCB Sunset complex to have an immersive comedy show (a la Sleep No More) that included karaoke with dead celebrities, a fake newsroom, and the woods where Hillary Clinton is living. 

57. Morris From America-Chad Hartigan’s refreshing coming-of-age story following an American black kid trying to grow up in Germany with his single father hit a very sweet, feel-good note that everyone needs to see (especially since it had a short theatrical run). 

58. Britanick’s “The Foul Line”-Though BriTANick had gone a few years without a new video, this absurdist folly makes up for all that time lost.

59. 20th Century Women-Mike Mills' latest is a great follow up to Beginners and is an award worthy comedy that might actually be able to compete with heavily favored dramas this year.

60. Three Busy Debras-The comedy trio of Three Busy Debras got to play Carnegie Hall through this devilishly fun crowdfunding campaign. 

61. Paul F. Tompkins' on Political Correctness-One of comedy's best gave one of the best explanations of political correctness' necessary role in comedy.

62. The Dollop-Shining a light on the dark corners in American history is as important as it has ever been and Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds do so with a devilish laugh and their effortless riffing up comedy gold.

63. Floor Knobs-This AOK sketch from Heather Anne Campbell is one of our absolute favorites and, rather than spoiling anything, we'll just leave it at that.

64. David Gborie’s Late Night Stand Up Debut-Gborie takes an unexpected move in his opening to this performances that sets up a truly wonderful late night stand-up debut.

65. Cholofit-Frankie Quinones' cholo exercise guru is done so well that it leaves you wanting it to be a real exercise program.

66. Oh, Hello-John Mulaney and Nick Kroll took two characters from just being a small bit to the heights of Broadway. George St. Geegland and Gil Faizon are just so fully realized and funny that it doesn’t matter if you miss one of their references or not. 

67. Chris Garcia's Laughing and Crying at the Same Time-Garcia meshes deeply personal stories and utter silliness that do the album title justice.

68. Cole Escola-Escola’s solo show follows him playing several outrageous characters (switching wigs and costumes while on stage) allowing for another fun layer in between the cavalcade of delightful, short monologues.

69. Catastrophe season 2-Sharon Horgan and Rob Delaney have kept their devastatingly funny look into an unplanned family up to the very high standard they set in season 1.

70. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog's Election Watch 2016-Robert Smigel might have not known that having a dog puppet on his hand roasting people to their face for years would be the perfect preparation for covering the 2016 election (on both sides of the aisle), but, as the handful of Hulu specials prove, it really was.

71. Joel Kim Booster’s set on Conan-Just telling the story of being adopted by a Midwestern white family from Korea and being gay is fascinating enough, but Joel Kim Booster made that story blisteringly funny on late night.

72. Angie Tribeca-Physical comedy and sight gags would almost seem out-of-turn in comedy these days, but the proudly silly Angie Tribeca on TBS is thankfully changing all of that.

73. Trump vs. Bernie-While ‘Trump vs. Bernie’ will probably be a presidential candidate match-up that more people will long for than ever, Anthony Atamanuik and James Adomian's Trump vs. Bernie will go down as one of the best bits (that includes the live tour, the Fusion series, and album) of comedy to come out of one of the worst elections in U.S. history.

74. Joe Pera’s Set on Seth Meyers-Pera’s weirdness is one-of-a-kind in comedy as it’s very warm and inviting. He got to share that with the world with his set on Late Night with Seth Meyers.

75. Vice Prinicpals-When Danny McBride and Walton Goggins’ diabolical teachers one-up, in the best way, any other teachers in any other comedies that go off-the-deep-end in this HBO series.

76. Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio-Neely's latest creations seems to offer up bits from the weirdest corners of Neely's mind and this animated sketch show is all the better for it.

77. Hari Kondabolu's Mainstream American Comic-Much is deservingly said about Kondabolu’s expertise in talking politics, class, race, etc. in his comedy, but this album also shows that his comedy is stellar no matter where you fall on the political spectrum.

78. Jon Glaser Loves Gear-Glaser does meta comedy better than almost anybody else working right now and his new show on TruTV is proof of that.

79. How to Win at Feminism by Reductress-This whip-smart manifesto about feminism solidifies Reductress’ place in modern satire next to The Onion and Clickhole.

80. Great Minds with Dan Harmon-Harmon getting to spend time with some of history's most notable figures ended up being one of the best shows that the History Channel has done in years.

81. Derrick Brown-Very few poets can reach the point of being laugh out loud funny and still deeply emotive quite like Brown, both on stage and in his book, Uh-Oh.

82. Natalie Palamides' solo show Laid-Palamides makes a solo show that's so absurd and funny, it might almost be in a unique category of its own.

83. W. Kamau Bell’s Semi-Prominent Negro-Bell explores all of today’s hot button issues (racial inequality, transgender identity, gentrification, etc.) comedically, as he is very skilled at doing, but does it in such a jovial way that they don’t seem so controversial anymore. 

84. Other People-Chris Kelly’s hilarious and heartbreaking movie based on his own life in dealing with the passing of his mother from cancer is one of Kelly’s finest work, which is even more impressive as his first feature done while being an SNL writer. 

85. Emo Philips improvising with Jason Van Glass-Emo's comedic prowess is so great that he can improvise with Van Glass like they're a veteran improv duo.

86. Return of MST3K-Of the things from our childhoods that are being brought back, Mystery Science Theater 3000 returning with a sweeping mandate in the form of a record breaking Kickstarter campaign is one that deserves to be revived.

87. Wyatt Cenac’s An Angry Night in November-Cenac’s EP captures lightning in a bottle (it’s his set from his weekly Night Train show) of immediate post-election comedy that is pure, raw, and biting.

88. Justin Sayre’s Gay Agenda-Sayre makes a compilation of his “meetings” as ‘Chairman of the International Order of Sodomites’ that give a hysterical look into the many great, complex layers of LGBTQ life.

89. Ahamed Weinberg-Both as a stand-up and a filmmaker (watch Rasberries), Weinberg is on a path to being another great modern comedy multi-hyphenate. 

90. Jon Dore Gets a Bad Backstory-Dore once again shows how to toe the line when entering the darkest territories of comedic material and do so successfully while being utterly absurd. 

91. Ron Babcock videos-A dying reel and an ad for his old CRV really showcase the cleverness and ingenuity of comedy’s Ron Babcock.

92. Reggie Watts’ Spatial-Watts’ latest special is his best and most ambitious one yet as it includes his beatboxing, a faux sitcom, tap dancing, and way more.

93. Alex & Jude-Alex Hanpeter and Jude Tedmori have figured out how to give slapstick, physical comedy the proper twist for 2016 audiences, which includes a literal bit of audience participation of making Jude a target.

94. Conner O’Malley-O’Malley takes satirical field pieces to a whole new level as he plays and wholeheartedly commits to dark, fully realized characters inspired by vaping, Alex Jones, and Cubs fans. He interacts with real people at Trump rallies, vape conventions and outside of Wrigley Field and goes along with whatever happens.

95. Doug Stanhope’s No Place Like Home-Stanhope has an amazing take on mental illness in this special and opted to shoot it in his own hometown of Bisbee, AZ. Overall, No Place Like Home ranks high up in Stanhope’s extensive catalog of stand-up.

96. “Tond” by Kelly Hudson-Hudson’s short film is one of our favorite bits of existential absurdity of 2016, a year seemingly saturated in nothing but questioning ‘what it all means’. 

97. Brett Gelman's Dinner in America-Gelman's last special on Adult Swim is one to remember, especially for how searing the satirical commentary on race relations are in it.

98. Miguel Marquez-Marquez bridges a gap, almost literally, between art and comedy as his wry art installations are way funnier (intentionally that is) than nearly anything you’d see in an art museum.

99. Chris Fleming's Silver Lining-The week following the election seemed as hopeless can be if you voted for Hillary and Fleming offered up a powerful, albeit one with a bit of tomfoolery, message of hope.

100. Norm MacDonald on Conan-Not only is there the expected long, winding roads of Norm’s jokes and stories in this particular appearance, but Conan does an impression of Norm out of frustration that’s spot on.

[randomrichards]

OSCAR 2019 PREDICTIONS: BEST ANIMATED SHORT

·         ANIMAL BEHAVIOUR

All the way from Canada is the National Film Board’s annual entry.

The film centres around a group therapy session of anthropomorphic animals, led by canine psychologist Dr. Leonard Clement (voiced by Ryan Bell). Things are coming along smoothly when in barges Victor the Gorilla (Taz Van Rassel). Right away, he makes it clear he doesn’t want to be there, and he makes it clear he as severe anger issues. Chaos ensues.

This short film seems to share resemblances to other Oscar Winners. The premise of animals talking of their problems may remind Claymation fans of Oscar winning short Creature Comforts. There are lots of animal gags like the ones in Zootopia. On top of all that, Writer/directors David Fine and Alison Snowden already won this award for their 1994 short film Bob’s Birthday.[1] Not to say they are the same. I just wanted to call attention to these films.

The most creative jokes blend animal traits with psychological issues with Lorraine the leech (Leah Juel) having attachment issues and mantis Cheryl (Andrea Libman) having trouble with long term commitments (“I have to say I got 1000 kids and that can be a real turn off for some”). Dr. Clement adds to the hilarity in his attempts to diffuse judgement (“Clearly sexual cannibalism is a taboo for some.”)

It should be noted, Fine and Snowden have a humor that blends dark and mundane. It might not be for everyone.

·         BAO

Before Incredibles 2, families were treated to first time director Domee Shi’s loving tribute to her mother.

A middle aged Chinese-Canadian was enjoying her Bao Buns when one comes to life and sprouts a body. With her husband at work, she decides to raise the dumpling like her son. The result is a montage of humorous moments, from feeding the Bao when its head flattens to it being attacked by a dog. But as the film progresses, the mother becomes protective of Bao, who in turn grows resentful of her. Soon, this short film reveals itself to be an allegory of Empty Nest Syndrome, leading to a heartbreaking climax many mothers can (or will) relate to.  

While this short comes from Pixar, it has some elements of Studio Ghibli and not just because the main characters are Asian. Like Ghibli films, the main characters just accept the fantastical elements of the premise without much questions. Plus, the simpler style resembles Isao Takahata’s film My Neighbor the Yamadas. Plus, you get a strong sense of the culture (in this case, the Chinese-American Culture). It’s especially true in the scenes of the mother cooking. Cooking scenes are almost always shot beautifully, that certainly true when you watch her make Bao Buns.

·         LATE AFTERNOON

All the way from Ireland comes a beautiful yet heartbreaking portrayal of an old woman struggling with dementia.

The short takes us into the memories of elderly Emily (voiced by Fionnula Flanagan) as she enjoys tea and biscuits provided by caregiver Kate (Niamh Moyles). We see her as a child enjoying a day at the beach, as a young woman racing for the train and as loving mother.

Writer/director Louise Bagnall uses a stylized approach to capture the experience of living with Alzheimer’s. Emily literally flows through her memories, swimming through strong currents that force her through one memory after another. In these currents, the memories start out as little balls of colours. From these currents, Bagnall creates one graceful transition after another. When Emily swims into an orange ball, the orange become the dress of Emily as a child. Another key detail is the fact Emily is the only character without a neck. I suppose it symbolizes how lost in her head she is.

This short is sure to break your heart. 

You can waltch this one on YouTube.

·         ONE SMALL STEP

Since she was a little girl, Luna Chu has dreamed of being an astronaut. Now she stands to achieve her dreams when attends the School of Astrophysics. But her struggles have only begun as she fails her classes and stumbles through gym. And yet through it all, her father is always there to fix her shoes and offer support. But through her struggles, she begins to distance herself from her father. What will it take for her to achieve her dream?

At the core of this short is the loving father-daughter relationship. Though a shoe maker, Luna’s father encourages her passion by giving her moon shoes and allowing her to take drawings of rockets on the walls. In one beautiful fantasy sequence, they ride on a box and soar through a solar system of cardboard planets and glow in the dark stars. But her studies take their toll on their relationship, as she grows more distant from him. And yet through it all, he’s always there to offer support.

For their directorial debut, Andrew Chesworth and Bobby Pontillas already demonstrate amazing skills with visual storytelling. With no dialogue, they reveal a lot of character through imagery. Nowhere is that clearer than in the montage in the kitchen. At first, Luna would stop for a quick bite with her father before she heads to school. But as the film progresses, she spends less time in the kitchen until she just leaves without eating, leaving him alone. I imagine we’ll be seeing more of Taiko Studios

·         WEEKENDS

This is a slice of life portrait of divorce told from the boy’s point of view. On the weekdays, he stays with his mother while she studies for Accounting. On the weekend, he stays at his father in Toronto, where they indulge in violent action movies and bad cooking. These two worlds couldn’t be more different. He and his mother are renovating a house in the middle of the woods. His father lives in an apartment surrounded by Samurai memorabilia. She practices piano. He blares Dire Straits’ “Money for Nothing” and plays Duck Hunt. What they do have in common is their love for their son. Now they both have a significant other in their lives.

Writer/Director Trevor Jimenez focuses on the little moments of the boy’s life. We see the routines he comes accustomed to including the raccoon always in his yard or the model horse the boy sleeps on when he’s at his Dad’s apartment. In between these routines, we journey into the boy’s dreams to find his true feelings. In one dream, he imagines clothes floating around his house. When he floats into a kitchen, he sees two bathrobes reenacting a routine morning.

Through his eyes, we can see a hint of the struggles his parents are going through, especially his mother’s attempt to balance her studies and taking care of her son. And yet, we also see the joys the boy has with his parents, painting the house with his mother and playing with samurai swords with his father.

The animation style resembles a children’s drawing (albeit a more detailed version). It works to pull you more into the child’s perspective.

Who Will Win?

As always, Pixar is the top choice for the award with Bao. Plus, it’s a beautiful portrait of motherhood, animated with the high quality expected of Pixar.

It’s hard to make a second choice with all of them being incredible. So, I’m going to make Late Afternoon the dark horse.

[1] Which led to the Canadian series Bob and Margaret.

[militiapax]

I Was There(Great)...Again

Trumpur(i)nations to us All! We’re all bout to get pissed on!

Washington DC resembled that of a (I’m told) harry potter fog/ whitey? people game of thrones dystopian nightmare. But mostly Dark Knight. I don’t know if it was Trump jacking Bane’s speech with grim, hitler-esque tones of totalitarian madness or the bird flocks looming feverishly around the white house like a wild pack of bats, but it was a spot on parallel to everyone’s worst knightmares rolled into a huge piece of frightful blockbuster entertainment. And the reality show rolls on.

The sky looked like dark knighttime and blinding day white at the same time (and not just the fact that trump’s fan club was almost exclusively white).

Insane amount of security, took 45 minutes to walk through a checkpoint. These did not exist at Obama’s inauguration, where there was WAY MORE PEOPLE, who was gloriously happy, singing Bob Dylan, and being vaguely observed by like 14 snipers. That brilliant day eight years ago, people flooded the mall, search-free, and though it was far colder, everyone was warm. It was a great day. This, this was something entirely different. Took almost an hour to get through the ridiculous line, but not after security dramatically broke the stick that was supporting my NODAPL sign, with white priv trump bros taunting me with “just like your broken dreams”. Once inside, it was clear no one was there, just a hitler-esque speech about carnage and a war on muslimism. It was bleak to say the last. This is what the end of America sounds like.

Had to get away from the terrible sounds of hatred and racism and found far more people protesting nearby. Saw a busted up limo, though no evidence of who did it, and it was claimed later the vehicle was set on fire. So the chants got louder and then the masses came out, still peaceful, but heated. They used the limo thing to justify pepper spraying everyone ever, including elder women who were just singing. Then they  started dropping bombs like WW7 and people were running down the streets for their lives. The blockbuster movie again. Retreating in the park nearby, hearing the bombs dropping, there was talk of a soldier who was experiencing PTSD by being there; chaos was everywhere. I heard everyone smoked at 4:20 into trump’s speech, which I distantly smelled, but mine was a smoke cloud of terror. When it was all said and not done, peoples’ eyes were burning, horrid smells of berning encompassed city blocks, chemicals were taste-able in the air, 200 arrests of people rounded up in the area that did nothing now facing insane felony charges; the city was on fire….not a strong start.

The Awokening

The following day was like a waking of a dead collective unconscious. There were so many people flooding the streets. Just maybe there are some good people left. It was reassuring, yet heartbreaking to think what they and their children will have to endure. On the way out, saw a Muslim man being arrested outside an apartment building in VA. Probable coincidence but weird sight nonetheless, chilling past future reminders of the madness ahead and behind.

Walking with all the people, the women, the children, so many clever signs, it was a breathtaking image. The celebrity scene was tight too. Lil’ bigg Mikey Moore was there again, inspiring us to action through his humor, his confessed crippling social anxiety, and the beginning of an anti-trump satire movement. Scarlett Johansen seemed to get it, and Ashley Judd’s words chilled to the very core. Madonna was a little questionable, particularly her performance, but the indigo girls soothed with a once popular uplifting 90s vibe, we have to bring that sound with us into this uncertain future. There’s something about the wonder of the unknown that seemed exciting, not frightening, on the capitol that day. That if there are enough good people still left in this country, we really might use this horror show to create something amazing. The revolutionary shift is truly upon us now, people are getting woke AF, etc. Uplifting, inspiring, and lots of chanting. “Show me what democracy looks like “ “This is what Democracy looks like. “ “Whose streets?” “our streets!” (not wall street), we even threw a couple “Bernie would have wons” into the mix; it was not difficult to get that one going quick et loud. Flooding through the streets with the largest crowd I’ve ever marched with, full of so many passionate, compassionate women and human beings, was truly glorious expression of an engaged political process that works of the people, for the people, and by the people.

Non-Alternative Facts

To be clear, There were WAY MORE PEOPLE at the womens’ march than the Inauguration

The women’s march was a reassuring, hopeful bucket of sunshine compared to the apocolypto ****show I had witnessed the day before. And there were a ton more people there. I repeat : There were way, way MORE PEOPLE AT THE MARCH ON SATURDAY, no matter how much the fake media actual photos tries to lie to us with facts. And for the record, way more of those who actually showed up Friday were there to protest Donny, and everyone there Saturday was protesting him except twelve embarrassed/angry trumpets, so the numbers are not in his favor. FAUX FACTcheck

There was a point with an engaged discussion between trumpets and non-trumpets that was uplifting, hopeful, and something different to see. Most of the exchanges between us were heckles.

One month Down…so far Down to go

My journey was wrapping up in DC, but only beginning to unwrap for life after Donny. As long as maniacs roam free in that tainted house I kept staring at in wonder and disgust, the fight will continue. As long as injustice and inhumanity occurs, WE the people will be here.

I walk past the massive sign displays lining a fence, greatly resembling a certain future Mexican wall, only these were expressing messages of hope and peace, not division and hatred. I left a couple of the signs I had been carrying around all day against the fence. I hope this incredible art piece stays here until Trump is impeached, but I am told they were all burned later that night by Trump’s thug brigade fan boys. Ew L Though this week has been a shakey start (understatement of the century), the marches and protests come to confirm what we knew all along: this country is great because of those who stay involved, not those who stay in charge.

 REVELATION NATION

It’s more than kinda crazy we rejected a qualified woman running for prez for the most sexist, sexual assaulting, and least qualified man to ever run for prez. Double Slap in the face for women, and now trumps tryin to close planned parenthood and ban abortion so it as a reaction to all those things and much more. nobody there cared that hill dawg didnt get a divorce. i know i dont.

This man can shove his way into our heads and twitterings and blood and infect us with the new old fascists amerika that was always there but you tried not to talk about til that black dude left the room.

What has happened here today leaves many stunned, punched, and wanting to move to Europe. But there’s no escape from tyranny, there’s no escape from dictatorship or racism or the few with so much wanting to keep it at the expense of their fellow people. (well maybe Sweden?) When there is enough for us all but some want more and that’s ok because “I worked for it” but don’t see how it’s the rich we should blame. The working poor felt the sadness, the women felt it--

Do you believe us now, do you feel how fragile your life really was and the floor slipping out from under the poor. “I wont be affected” you will, plus that kinda makes you sound like a dick bag, big time.

We are each other, one people. If there is injustice , it must be made right, and especially by those more so in the position to do and not suffering the same as those oppressed most, our Fellow Humans.

And we’ve lost Ourselves, only to find Ourselves

We have much to fight for now, don’t you see?  

This is the point in the world… this is it.

No exaggerating, no whammy—just WHAM

 I saw it but I still don’t believe it.

The sinking feeling that swept the crowd under a fog that was darkness but blinding white

Is it snowing

Are there bombs going off

YES, and you will have nightmares for weeks, but that’s nothing compared to four years, four more minutes

and the city burns, and not in the good berning way, the way that makes you see that the inherent flaws within capitalism and this great experiment of democracy that has truly succumbed to the inescapable corruptions of man. THAT kinda way

 8 years ago it was all different. Funny to think. Makes you laugh that painful cringe that turns a stomach

In the way that Ashley judd could catapult southern words into our shivering goosebumped souls-

It wasn’t even cold, not raining like the yesterdays of inaugurations-

How long ago that must have been

 We are Fighting for what we are Living for

Why bother? Everyone has their reasons—the families gathered here are fueled by love

Why did people vote for trump? Everyone has their reasons

Mostly action comes from places pushed to walls, bumps of dissatisfaction

we’ve grown too irritated to keep scratching, maybe we’re just tired

Meryl Lynch Streep

And even when the most beloved women who the public idolized like a star in the sky, defended the cripples and those who were different, and even those who weren’t. she herself was not defended, instead the public began to question even her trusted voice of wisdom, they questioned very facts as presented by a corporate fueled source-well I guess that part did make a little more sense-but they weren’t asking the right questions

Who made the choice---when we think we’re doing something on own , hand tied to its pupeteer.

“You’re a puppet. “no YOU’RE the puppet”

We’re ALL PUPPETS, getting played by the puppeteer, and now it’s gotten worse,

How do we get out of this nowwwww ---sinkink sinking sink holes earthquakes?

You did technically want it this way. depravity enforced, we can all speak our filthy little minds now

But it pushes you somewhere when things got lost so lost

We can cry and be babies and we are but we need to get out there now

Put bodies in ideas, action in passive, standing but sitting (in)

Just to clarify in a time where Nothing is Clear:

man-hating feminists? they been calling women who stand up for womens' rights that forever-don’t let it get to us now !! and not on our big day !

the trumpers sc(r)ewed perspective is less credible than Trump thinks CNN is. yeah no, i was there, the women were standing up for themselves, with a bunch of men with them in solidarity. if anything they might have been angry at specific white dudes taking away their rights...makes sense. This blind love of trump twists reality, and reasoning has mostly gone out of open close-minded windows.  1) they weren't specifically anti-pro life, whatever that is, they spoke to maintaining planned parenthood and affordable womens' healthcare. 2) there were tons and tons of organizers who've worked on a variety of campaigns, so it's possible one has questionable ties. this should in no sense discredit the event. 3) i saw no volugarity, just an inspirational crowd of men and women who care about the future for them and their children. im sure some would be offended by some things throughout the march, but that will happen in a ginormous crowd of passionate people, made up of families, women, and men all coming together peacefully. thought it was super non-vulgar

Inspiration Nation

honestly, there is something very wrong and darkly twisted within this current ray of disarray, trump, all his cabinet picks, all of it. Examine the true direction of this country, the true nature of the people living here. Stop allowing misinformed, destruction to keep circulating as news. This will not stand but know there are many to resist on all sides, that’s why we need to all join the same team. There are 99% of us getting wrecked and everything else is a distraction, keep us fighting, keep it us vs. us, when everyone knows it has and will always be (until we unite) US vs THEM. In the past, people waking up to it, those who are hip to it and get others on board, well we know what happens to them. That’s why this many of us getting pissed off, standing up to corrupt leaders across the world, we will finally reach the ultimate level of our strength in numbers (plus there’s more people on the planet now than there’s ever been, and that’s a hard fact to be faux).

Is it possible we can actually win now, again, yet for the first time? We have no other choice. The tipping point is upon us, environmentally, there is no choice. Socially, religiously, economically, there is no choice. Make or break, do or die, stay WOKE but get WOKER, and much, much quicker. People have been fighting for this for years , they’ve laid the groundwork, now for the berners and youthers and lovers and thinkers and dreamers-- to bring it home. You’ve been informed (shout out to Bernard on this one),  you can no longer keep your heads sandy and your hearts wavering. Join us, the militia pax, the war of peace, THE fight-it must be fought, has been fought, will be fought. No choice left but to WIN.  

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