#plus some other smaller fish

[ippokampos]

13 and 18 ❤️❤️❤️

here she is🤩

13) this year's birthday: it was nothing much, it was a workday, tuesday specifically (LAME), i was tired from work, so i just talked with my ex, then a dear family friend showed up unexpectedly which was nice, they brought me the (classic for me) oreo cake and that was it:)

18) a memorable meal: (of course you'd ask this and i love it) my friends and I had incredible sea food at Φούρνοι Ικαρίας, like everything was fresh, godly delicious AND on the cheap side!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The House Guest 4

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes

Summary: an old acquaintance calls in a favour, leaving you with an unexpected house guest.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

The drive into town, or the few shops that cluster together at the midpoint of the backroads, is quiet. As you lazily steer around the long bends. As you come in sight of the beer store banner, you squint into the rear view. Bucky’s been so silent, you’re half certain he’s asleep. 

He sits with his arms crossed as he stares out the window. His eyes could be closed. As you roll into the gravel lot, he clears his throat. 

“Not much to this place,” he comments. 

You give a start and shift into park, “nope.” 

He nods as he unbuckles his seat belt and sits up, “quiet.” 

“Very,” you agree. 

He makes no other comment as he gets out. You really can’t tell how he meant it. Does he like the quiet? Hate it? Does he long for the New York rush? 

You push yourself out of the car and head for the front door. He steps ahead to get the door and you thank him. It’s not too unusual. A lot of the men in their plaid fleeces insist on doing the same. You enter and greet Dustin behind the counter. 

“Foster sending you ‘round again?” He asks. 

“Mr. Foster’s drying out. At least his wife says so. And I told her I wouldn’t bring him anymore gin.” You explain.  

“Ah, you got company,” Dustin comes to the end of the counter, “Dustin, and you?” 

He holds out his hand. Bucky shakes it with his gloved one and introduces himself. 

“Ha, boy, fingers’ cold already? Must not be from around here.” 

Bucky sniffs and drops his hand. He has both covered. It’s probably best he not draw attention. 

“Yeah, came up from the States,” he says. “Not a fan of the Canadian beer though.” 

“Ah, you like piss water. Well, head to the back, you’ll find that yankie river water.” 

You chuckle and shake your head. You go down the middle aisle and Bucky catches up to you with a grumble. You notice his glower as he peruses the cases. 

“Don’t take it to hear. That’s just Dusty. If you’re a hockey fan, don’t mention it unless you wanna hear about the Leafs for an hour.” 

“Right,” he nods and grabs a green case. “More of a baseball fan.” 

“Don’t mention that either. He’s a Jays fan.” You head down the far aisle and peruse the smaller bottles. That should be enough. 

“Thought you don’t drink,” he comments as you pick out the brown bottle. 

“Rumcake. I’m gonna check in on the neighbours later this week. Make sure they’re okay. Plus, you add a bit to some fried bananas. It’s great.” You explain. 

He drones again and clicks his tongue. He probably doesn’t care much about the neighbours or your mother’s rumcake recipe. You go to the counter and put the bottle down. As you reach into your pocket, Bucky leans the case on the edge. 

“Charge hers with mine,” he takes out his wallet and slips out some bills. 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“Least I can do,” he insists and hands over the money, “Sir, you keep the change.” 

“Boy, this is a beer store, we don’t take tips,” Dustin scoffs. 

“Then put it in that charity box,” Bucky shrugs and hauls up the case. “Got somewhere else to go?” 

You take the bottle and say goodbye to Dustin before you follow. 

“Groceries,” you say as you follow him out. 

You fish around for your keys. What pocket did you put them in? You stop beside the driver’s side and search for them. Of course, you locked the car. 

Frustrated, you set the bottle on the car roof. You look down as you continue to pat your jacket. You finally find them and then you hear it. The subtle friction of the bottle slips down the curve of the roof.  

You panic and try to catch it. As you do, you press against the wall that appears behind you. Bucky reaches over your shoulder as he saves the bottle. You get your keys free and teeter between him and the car. He backs up. 

“Got it,” he says. 

“Uh, thanks,” you hid your discomfort. You weren’t expecting him to be so close. 

He easily carries the case under one arm and takes the rum with him around the passengers side. You unlock the doors and he opens the back to put the alcohol in front of the seat. You swing into the driver’s and get yourself situated. 

You’re overthinking. He probably didn’t even realise how awkward that was. You put your keys in the ignition as he drops in through the opposite door. 

“Real friendly around here,” he remarks as check the rear view. 

You reach over to grip the passenger seat as you crane to see behind you. By accident, you grab his shoulder. He grunts and you release him quickly, grabbing the seat instead. 

“Sorry,” you say. 

“It’s fine,” he shrugs and you slowly reverse, hooking around to put your car straight.  

You rescind your hand and turn forward, steering out of the lot and down to the next street. There, the grocery store is a bit more lively with the early risers. You draw up and park again. You get out and he follows suit.  

He grabs a cart before you can. You’re not sure if he’s being overly helpful or what. You walk beside him toward the front doors. As you do, Cathy comes out with a paper bag in her arms. Before you can hide, she shrilly calls your name. Great. 

“Oh, haven’t seen you lately,” she smiles beneath her fuschia lipstick. “Oh my,” her heavily lined eyes flick to Bucky, “and who is this? Don’t see a lot of new faces in Caribou.” 

You glance over at your escort as he stops the cart. 

“This is Bucky. He’s visiting Canada.” You say. 

“Visiting? Oh, how wonderful,” she walks up the side of the cart, squinting at him. She never wears her glasses. “Ah, look at him. Strapping.” She grabs his square jaw. 

“Um, Bucky, this is Cathy.” 

“Look at those eyes,” she squeezes him so her acrylics sink into his cheeks. He looks stunned by her latch on him. She is one of a kind, especially around there. 

“Uh, nice to meet you,” he speaks stiffly as she stands on her toes to inspect him. 

“About time you found yourself a handsome young man,” she lets go and he brings his hand to his cheek. 

“Cath, it’s not like that,” you chuckle. “It’s nice seeing you but we gotta grab some stuff.” 

“Oh, don’t let me stop you. Oh, the pharmacy got some of those new ones. You know... the ones with the ribbing,” she winks. 

You take a moment to catch her meaning. Your lips part but you don’t have much of a response. Bucky shifts beside you. 

“Gotta be safe,” she smirks, “anywho, if I was you, I’d be in a hurry too.” 

You set your chin and grab the side of the cart. You pull it along and Bucky goes with it. The silence is stifling. 

“She was nice,” Bucky says as you enter the store. 

“She’s... Cathy. Don’t mind her,” you say as you stop at the shelf of pears. 

“Been a while since anyone called me young,” he snorts as he lingers with the cart. 

“Well, around here, you might just meet a few of your peers. Or close to,” you mutter, paying overly much attention to the pear. You’re too embarrassed to look anywhere else. As usual, Cathy has to make her little comments. “You mind grabbing some maple syrup? I uh... I’m almost out?” 

He doesn’t respond right away. He wheels the cart up in front of you and backs up, “think I can manage that.” 

As he turns, you almost feel bad. You don’t want to treat him like an errand boy. You just need some space. You’re still getting used to someone else being around. All the time. 

[aliesbienish]

Love at first swipe

Benedict Bridgerton x fem reader. Modern Au.

Warnings: Cheesy AF. Innuendos.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Cute smile. Check.

Kind eyes. Check.

Well written profile with no misogynistic undertones. Double check.

This guy must be to good to be true. Definitely a bot. Or married and cheating on his poor wife. Plus what girl hasn’t been screwed over by a ‘Ben’, maybe he’ll be yours.

Still against better judgement you swiped right on Mr. cute smile, and then called it a day. Closing tinder and setting down your phone, reluctantly getting up to make yourself dinner. Honestly having a partner to share the cooking load was just as appealing as the romance at this point.

Basic spaghetti made and glass of wine in hand you plopped back onto the couch to continue your next rerun of pride and prejudice, the tv show of course. At least you could always day dream of life with Mr Darcy, and if he was always looking like he just emerged from the lake then so be it.

Grabbing your phone to enter into some simultaneous mindless scrolling you saw a notification from Tinder pop up. Oh boy a new match. Maybe you needed more wine.

Of course you couldn’t help being intrigued, so you opened it up to see a new message from the definite robot himself.

Ben: Good evening [y/n], to what do I owe this pleasure?

You: Bit early to determine I’ll be a pleasure isn’t it?

I’m actually only here because I am convinced you are a bot and honestly chatting with a bot is almost guaranteed to be more exciting than chatting with a man.

Ben: I’m nothing if not optimistic. I promise I am not a bot. And before you say it; I know that it’s exactly what a bot would say but it’s also exactly what a human would say.

You: Touché. Alright Ben, prove it.

Ben: Do you interrogate all your matches or am I special?

You: You’re special. But don’t get sappy about it, I’m just suspicious that your profile doesn’t have a photo of you fishing or in front of a car.

Through many years of observation I’ve hypothesised that each human man must show one or the other.

Ben: And have you hypothesised why that may be?

You: It’s almost certainly something to do with their hunting and gathering skills. That or compensation.

Ben: And how was this concluded?

You: Well fishing is obviously a modern (and frankly boring) man’s hunting and gathering.Least amount of work and blood involved. These men want to prove they can provide, but will likely never actually do the real hunting and gathering ie. Grocery shopping.

Ben: Science seems sound. And cars?

You: Well that’s obvious. The bigger and shinier the car the smaller the 🍆.

Ben: I quite agree…but that might be because I own a mud covered beetle.

You: Haven’t you heard it’s best to keep expectations low?

Ben: And risk losing out? No thank you.

You: If you’re real, which the jury is still out, I’m sure that’s not an issue.

Ben: Still? I’m flattered. And while it may not be an issue let’s say why would I settle for bronze when I can have gold?

FYI that’s me saying I think you’re gold

You: thanks for the clarification. You’re really into calling this early aren’t you? 10 minutes and you’re obsessed.

Ben: It’s actually been about thirty minutes if you count when I first came across your profile and haven’t stopped thinking about you since.

You: That is either incredibly honest or an amazing line.

Ben: Oh it’s both. But first and only time I’ll use it, cross my heart.

You: So what next?

Ben: Coffee, tomorrow hopefully if that’s not too soon?

You: Tomorrows great. Meet in the city? Say Leicester Square at 11am?

Ben: Done. I look forward to it.

You: You’d better be real or I’ll hurt you.

You were standing in the square outside of the cinema, your agreed meeting place. Despite the anxiety in you wanting to call the date off you’d made it. It was likely a good thing you only had 24 hours or so to think about it. Ben had been funny and endearing and so damn sure he wanted to meet you. He seemed so lovely that it defied belief, but you were willing to suspend reality.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, and you spun around to come face to face with Ben. In the flesh, as handsome or in fact even more so than his profile photos.

You meet his eyes and suddenly you felt lost in them.

“Hi,” You muttered, a goofy smile plastering your face. “I’m [y/n]”.

“Hi back. My real names Benedict. But Ben is fine. Long story. It’s lovely to meet you properly.”

“Thank god we’re both real,” you laughed.

“To be honest I never had any doubt. When you know you know.”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Maybe I’m just trying to manifest my own luck on the dating apps 🤷🏻‍♀️

[simpingforbots]

Big scary grandpa – part 3

You stared at the big map stapled to the sign that showed what the small camping ground offered wth curiosity and a note of excitement. This place was surprisingly somewhat modern – they had designated areas for restroom and showers,  a separate cabin for laundry room, that also seemd to store some arcade and a small store, a bar and grill that adults prohibited kids to even approach (you thing that they just want to have some space away from all the kids and their troubles), a big pond for swimming, a smaller one for fishing, connecting to a passing by river, basketball/football area, playground, dumpster area. You can guess that the laundry room was already flooded with your classmates as it most likely had wi-fi in there, making you quietly grin to your self as you had a very good deal with your parents, getting your own pocket router as long as you keep your grades up, which is not that hard, plus being a proud “teachers Pet”.

Your eyes wondered from the map, checking all the other posters stapled to the wooden poster, protected by the plastic display from weather – most of them were about wild birds and some animals, list of rules and a kind nor asking to clean after them self you inhaled deeply, taking in sweet scent of clear air, able to smell something sweet hanging around and looked to the side, focusing on one of two vending machines by the sign they still worked and offered a fine selection of chips, sweets, nuts and a range of cold drinks in another. All it needed was a special token you were all given immideatly upon you arrival – a small coin with tree engraved, allowing you to do laundry, play arcades or by drinks, though there was also simple rules: do not spend all in one place and that you can earn it for doing something, be it as simple as helping teacher around the camp or completing tasks set in the beginning of the day, with list being posted in the main tent. In hindsight it seamed like a good idea and moment to teach young generation money responsibility and prepare them for the future life, how ever some students took it as a greenlight to just go wild and they ran in to arcade. You sighed, smacking your dry lips and gripped you water flask.

On one hand a though of a snack and cold Coke sounded noice, on the other you will be spending money in something that you will be provided by your teachers and you can safe the coins for something useful, like washing machine, tie-pods, and some sanitary things in case you will need it and something told you will cus even your own body hates you. Sighing, you decided to go and refeel your water bottle and taking a swing while looking around you already ’ve seen that someone offered 5 coins to help with making food so you decided to head there to offer a helping hand to designated chef of this trip, who seemed more then happy to put you to work – pealing and chopping some vegetables for upcoming evening meal.

Soon enough the sun slowly hid behind the horizon, the last warm ray of light disappearing behind the trees, letting biting chill of night slowly take over and gathering every one around the fire pit to enjoy the warmth of dancing orange flames and warm meal the area immideatly coma to live with chatter and laughter, along with some people time to time singing along to an old guitars tune played by one of teachers, time to time taking request. Right now theyr were playing an old classic – Don’t stop believing with every one joining in for the good part. You sighed happily, whispering along all while watching majestic and mysterious dance if flames, intrigued by the story it hid behind all while red hot ash slowly rose high up to join the older fiery sibling in the night sky, getting their own spot in story maps of the cosmos. Out here the stars seemd to glow even brighter, something that you could started forever if you could, shivering a bit as cold chill ran up the spine, you gripped papper bowl a bit tighter, soaking in the warmth of food while slowly picking the spoon up and humming quietly at the flavour of the food. The moment seamed very peaceful and warm, making you sigh with content, relaxing and worming in the light of flames, time to time sipping on a can of coke teacher handed out.

It did not take to long though for the drinks to ran out and teachers started whispering between them selfs, pondering on who to send to get more drinks for the rest of the class as kids started asking for more, and that mostly adults really did not wanted to leave safety and warmth of the campfire. You listened for a bit, listening to their whispers, trying to keep to your elf, yet your heart gave up and you sighed, closing your eyes in frustration at your self for being so kind, putting your plate on the seat you just left, feeling cold biting your lower part already, lifting your hand and offering to go get drinks. It seemed that also being a Teachers Pet played a good roll with teachers giving you a hefty amount of tokens, saying that you can keep it in case shop is closed, sending you in to darkness to follow the path to the small shop. Shivering and pulling hoody of shark hoodie you liked over your head, you ventured in to the darkness, with your phone acting as a small flashlight to shine your path to the building ten muinets away, why was it so far you relay did not care, just wanitng to get this over with.

Who knew human can obsess over paperwork so much, letting a quite grumble and feeling his cooling system kick in to over dive, Megatron rubbed his face, unable to even look at the documents anymore or he will get an error in his processor, pushing data pad to the side. Karen piled this documents on him after they all failed to catch Mandroid, once again, with this document acting like some kind of punishment. Grumbling and stretching in the chair he was resting on, he could feel his inner system stretch pleasantly, checking his messages he got a few from one of Terrans – Twitch and Hashtag, proudly showing of their daily activities. Big bot smiled as he swiped though pictures of sparkling and kids having fun and from what he can guess annoying Bumblebee to no end. It warmed his spark to see young generation not worrying about anything and just having fun. Speaking of young generation. Getting up, Megatron walked out of his room, scaning his surroundings for unwanted eyes, making sure no human or bot saw him leave. Clear. With that he quietly left the base and headed towards small camp site. It was already dark by the time he left so it was not big surprise to see every human gathered around a campfire, getting louder as they sang along or just talked to each other. It did not take to long to find the little human he was looking for, huddled in to blanket and slowly enjoying the meal, eyes glued to the fire and it’s dance. It will be hard to outright come out there to just speak to you as his past reputation still haunted him and most humans did not fancy him like Terrance and Malto’s did. Hell, Karen was only acting nice to him because he was useful, Megatron was sure of it.

Grumbling and scratching his metal chin, Megatron kneeled down, his silver paint easily helping him hide in the dark of the forest, especialy that the only source of light aorund this whole place was campfire. He kept watching for a bit, as before, you kept to your self, yet still did your best to be part of the social group, singing along to some songs old bot recognized, smiling widely. Soon you seemd to be troubled by something, listening intently and then getting up, turning to face adults, taking something from them and then leaving the safety of the fire and walking in to the forest, your small phone acting as the only source of light to shine the path. Why did you left he really did not care as he was pleasantly surprised by such sudden action, quietly following behind, making sure to not make much ruckus as humans tend to get spooked easily and he does not want to scare you. It was surprisingly easy to scare humans with just his presence alone, so moving quietly through the forest and just watching you walk though the forest, his presence scaring wild animals who grew accustomed to humans away, making sure it was even more safer, even if the animals were harmless at first sight. You walked over to some building, all while muttering something to your self all the way, hyping your self in to false sense of security and make your self braver, sadly though your bravery wont pay off as the building was closed, sending you back in to the dark forest. And back to him... maybe now be the good time to make him self known?

You jumped at every branch snap and leaf rustle, scared that something will jump out at you, your heart ponding a milling beats per second, echoing in your own scull. Why, why did you had to be so “brave” as to offer your help and go away from the fire? All those scary stories you listened are now flooding back in to your mind to hunt you. Slowly but surely you made it to the shop, only to find the lights were out. Walking up and peaking in, you can see no-one was inside and the sign on the window clearly spelled closed, meaning you will have t go back empty handed, your shoulders drop with regret and started your journey back. Only this time the forest seemd to be to quite your footstep on gravel echoing to loud even for you now, making you be on guard as far to many stories you read warned that when ever the forest goes quite it means nothing good. Eyes skipping all over the place, you could feel anxiety digging in to your guts with it’s dead-cold claws, slowly speeding up your walk until in the corner of your eyes you noticed something move in the shadows and you turned your head, only to freeze in spot. In the darkness of the forest two red orbs floated high above you, focused on you, unmoving and terrifying, making your blood run cod. Your brain was throwing every thing at you and it took a second for you to inhale deeply and let a scream out and turn aorund to run, only to immideatly trip over your own two feet, stumbling and faceplanting in to the gravel with a loud “FUCK”. You tried scrambling up, forgetting every thing, fuck the dignity, hell you ready to crawl like a dog just to get away from what ever nightmare creature resides in the forest, only seemed that luck was not on your side as something hard quickly wrapped around you and started lifting you up. You fought and kicked all you could, screams muffled by huge hands carefully plased over your head and you can feel the thing move, but you did not give up help, even if you fall and break or twist your leg, you are getting out of here. You twisted and turned, pushed and kicked, time to time able to feel that you were sleeping out of the grasp only to be readjusted and something slid up and down, a soft noise trying to calm you down, but you did not give up. YOU are NOT dying today!

Following you, you seemd to be alert and Megatron took a step forward, kneeling down, ready to call out to you when you spun so suddenly it shocked even him. It took seconds for you to start screaming very loudly and  dart away only to trip over your own peds and fall on your face. Worried, Megatron quickly reached for you, wrapping his hands and pressing close to his chest, shushing you and trying to clam you down by slightly sliding his servo up and down your back, trying to muffle your scream with another. Someone clearly heard your scream as he can her someone calling out, sending his processor in to overdrive and purely out of panic he flees in to the forest, carrying you with him. Primus who knew humans were this active and slipper, almost loosing grip far to many times, still trying to calm you down, yet soon decided to let your run out of steam while wrapping both his hands around you, sort of caging and leaving only legs dangling out, and seems like having you squished calmed you down more effective as you stopped moving so much, but not completely. He kept walking away from the camp, quickly loosing it and any-one who tired to see what was going, finding a quite spot and seating down on the rock. This is not how he expected things to go, nor to traumatize you to death. Still holding you to his chest, he hummed quietly, feeling you tier out eventually, carefully pulling you away from his chest. You are a strong one to scream and kick this loud for so long, but now could barley move, chest falling and rising with quick pace, finally looking up, eyes wide, only this time not from fear, but shock and confusion, one of little hands gripping on his digits. Letting a sigh of relief, Megatron looked at them with soft and concerned eyes.

“You alright little one? I did not mean to scare you”

“Mr Megatron? What- what’s going on?” you slowly moved, trying to seat up and have a more comfortable position after being squished, even if not to tightly, it still was not to comfortable “You scared me! I though I was gonna die!”

“And I am sorry for this... Must say, almost dropped you few times with how hard you tried to get out, I must applaud you for this.” He coked his head to the side slightly, eyes focused on you, on how you place a small hand on your chest, slowly moving his thumb as to not scare such fragile being even more, yet you did seemd to flinch just for a second, out of instinct as soon as he touched your back, rubbing it slightly and you letting your guard down. “I was passing by and saw fire, though it was some wildfire. I know how bad they can get”

“Ah” you inhaled deeply and sighed, leaning in to soft touch. And not because it was the warmest lace aorund as of now. “Sorry”

“For?” a bit taken back, old mech blinked rapidly why is the little one apologising when he is the one in the wrong.

“I... I don’t know. Its good to see you. How are you?” you quickly changed the topic, looking around to get down. Even if it was Megatron and not creature of nightmares you prefer to be on solid ground, plus it felt a bit.. wired to be held by bigger being. Not in bad way, you just felt uncomfortable, like when you in someone’s home and try to be polite, seating on the edge of the sofa. Yet you also did not wanted to leave because of the warmth.

“I am doing well. How will be you? I was looking forward to seeing you again it’s getting a bit lonely when you have no one to speak with”

“What? I though you and Optimus were good friends? No offence” you added quickly.

“It’s get tiering to talk to him time to time” Megatron sighed and rolled his opticks, not that he did not like Optimus, it just time to time he needs break from him and talking to the same person for so long can get tiering, plus terrance are more interested in other stories and it’s nice to have to talk to some one new. “And I did enjoy our last talk, so I was looking to the next one. Found any other interesting books in archives?”

“Not really. Most of them I read though already” you confessed “Do you have any new once? “

Megatron smiled, quickly settling you on his lap to free his hand. Indeed he had, with all the time he spend reading though archives, and he was more then glad to share it with you, going in to all about them. Hearing all the stories he had brought, you quickly forgot where you were seating, bringing legs under you, seating in lotus position, listening intent fully to every word, time to time even asking few questions when some things did not made any scense to you.

“Did you guys had any mythology?” you finally asked, coking your head to the side and letting a cold shiver run though your body. Megaron seemed to notise it, nudging you jently close to his body and you quickly leaned in to his torso, soaking the warmth he radiated. It was expected as his was a big metal being with all the machinery that you can now hear quietly working inside of him, cliking, shifting and whirring inside, producing heat and warmth that you more than happy to borrow from the big bot, who also seamed not to greedy about sharing.

“We did, we had stories surrounding 13 primes. I am sure you read about them already in one of the book of yours”

“Yeah!” you felt a yawn coming in, quickly turning away and covering your mouth, blinking a bit as small tears formed in your eyes. It was late after all and you had a strict bed time you put upon your self, doing your best to follow it, yet you pushed your self though, after all who knew when will be the next chance you can see Megatron again “13 primes – one of the first cybertronians created by Prime, right?”

“Mhm.” Megatron nodded “they had a lot of stories following them and achievements. Young ones seemd to have favourites, do you?”

“yeah. I like Solus! She sounded badass” you smiled and tried to show that you were still awake, yet your body was slowly giving up and the warmth from the bot did not helped your cause.

“I though so” Megatron chuckled, moving you a bit closer, wrapping his hand aorund your shoulder and could feel you melt in to the palm, letting another yawn escape your body, shaking your head a bit and blinking rapidly to blink the sleep away. Bot let a quiet sigh escape his system, eyes softening at the small human sparkling resting on his lap, half asleep, trying to talk more about history, yet bot also knew how to lull any sparkling to sleep, not against you falling asleep on him. “I have some stories about her, would you like to hear them?”

“Yeah!” you quickly woke up, eyes glinting with interest about what stories did Megatron had cus you did not find much in library and Megatron was more then happy to oblige, starting his tale about what was going between Primes, especialy Megtaronus and Solus relation ship. He kept talking, keeping a watchful eye as he can see sleep slowly taking over once more, you nodding off, thoug still fighting squinting slightly, raising his temperature just a bit, and yet it all it took for you to finely give up, yawning last time, murmuring something under your breath, as if trying to still be part of conversation, time between blinking getting longer and he can see how hard it was becoming for you to keep your eyes open, leaning in to the body and not even protesting as he started slowly rubbing your back with his thumb, drawing circles in your back and feel your little heart slowing down. Soon enough you closed your eyes, falling asleep, making old bot’s spark warm up. Why are the younglings look so peaceful and cute when they are asleep he does not understand, but he will not fight it. He jus set there, looking up at the sky to stare at those glowing orbs of light, wondering just what would happened if he never started the war. Letting a long sight though his vents, he slowly lifted you up, your entire body limp like a ragdoll, limbs swinging slightly at the movement while he cradled you to his chest, you curling up and turning a bit in his palm, string just for a bit before settling in completely again, letting a long sigh of content.

“Hm” Megatron hummed, slightly coking his head, letting a soft smile escape him. He can’t wait to introduce you to other kids, just has to time it right, for now he will just seat here, doing his best to not let intrusive though of just carrying you to base win. Well it was sort of logical as the base was much wormer and safer then the camp, especialy with Mandroid still loose. It relay was the mostly logical thing in this moment, stirring in his processor – leaving you in such feeble shelter like your tent really did not sit well, but you were also surrounded by others and adults, who most likely were worried and scared after hearing a scream, letting a small grunt, he set just for a bit longer, before getting up, big bot placed another hand over you, caging and shielding from cold wind as he began walking back towards camp.

To his surprise no one seemd to panic and adults were enjoying cheep wine by the dying fire alone after sending other kids to sleep. A bit worried how they were not panicked about a sudden yell coming from forest, but with so many teens he can guess that they took it as not so good prank. Keeping down, he snuck towards your camp, thankful that you placed it close to the forest, pulling the “doors” open and manoeuvring you inside on soft bedding and making sure to cover you, not wishing for you to catch any cold. For a second he felt your little hand clasp on to his digits, refusing to let go, making him smile and turn away. Why you have to be so cute... okay that is it, he is introducing you to Malto kids this week!

[aelisinsims]

hello! i'm here with a longer post about the progress on torneskär so far.

as i showed you in an earlier post, i deleted the resort lot in favour of building this harbour. here you'll find lots of different things to do as i am trying to make every lot worth visiting (even though these are quite small lots).

some fishing shacks can be considered decorative, but i am still furnishing them, so if you decide to take a peak, you'll be catching a glimpse of the personality of the fishermen owning these shacks.

i've been super inspired to build community lots since i decided to delete the resort (crazy what can solve these mental blocks sometimes), and so now we have a school build, a fire station (in what used to be an old, abandoned factory), and even the sports arena.

i didn't think my sim would be able to sit down on the benches i made since they're technically chairs clipping into each other, but she could, so that's such a plus.

here it is from above. it'll move from a 35x25 lot to a 30x40 lot so i can include a changing room in the next export i make of torneskär, and it won't be situated here. i just placed a lot for it in world edit.

at any given time, there's like 5 taxi cabs on these roads by the way. absolutely insane.

as you can see. 6 cabs in this picture, actually.

the school, still a work in progress.

the fire station. this area hasn't received much love yet. this is going to be the more industrial looking area of this island (smaller island can be seen in the background).

play testing of torneskär is happening over on my discord, you're welcome to join ^^

[blood-grove]

unnatural bleeding

merfolk au!

previous <- part 5 -> WIP

parings: gaz x reader

chars: gaz, price , soap , ghost

tws: blood, injuries, violence, past abuse, language, slow burn.

a/n: hehehhehehe finally new update :3 got rid of the rude reader tw cuz reader is gonna be annoyed at the world at best angry at worst plus i dont think ive been writing them rudely so also forgive me if the writing pov changes weirdly idk i have a hard time staying focused and consistent ill try better

tags; @chickennn-soupp @cassiecasluciluce @sans-chara @lethargicluv  @kaoyamamegami

What the hell was this place.

It seems all they did was stare at you and when you would clearly get sick of the mumbles and looks you'd splash them and they'd fucking laugh.

They were weird and the Gaz guy was weirder.

You found later his name was actually Kyle and he meant to clarify earlier.

But you found the silly nickname funny.

But this wasn't fun.

Being propped up on a large mat next to the side of the pool the leather felt uncomfortable under you, You also felt way too exposed as a few humans looked over your stitches and wrappings.

It felt weird there hands weren't rough but no one besides a few have touched you like this they were talking about something you'd care less to pay attention too.

As they examined you, Gaz kept trying to pull your attention away from the other humans.

Oh?

Was he jealous?.

Humans are so fickle it's funny.

-

Christ.

Even working with merfolk in the past Gaz still never got used to the bigger ones like you.

Scarface as you've been suitably nicknamed for the moment been alright and cooperative so far no biting or thrashing.

He'd likely guess the wounds were causing you to be so irritable they didn't look good when they first arrived problem had a couple of parasites on them along with other infections that are still being treated.

Price was observing the whole check up process.

You didn't speak much at least not to any of the other staff.

There were a few problems though.

Firstly they found you solo but there was still likely you belonged to a pod but which is the question.

Secondly, they couldn't keep you in the medical pool forever you were wild to some extent it would be cruel to keep you from you family.

Thirdly during your surgery, they'd found a piece of metal that didn't look important it was kept to be looked over in case it helped discover why you were in such a state, Price already guessed territorial fighting but you clearly (no offense) couldn't pick your battles.

Some of these scars and bites could have been lethal.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as you shifted clicking in annoyance he was quick to reach over for another fish from the bucket nearby by offering it up in an attempt to distract you.

"Are all humans this pokey?"

"No Scarface we just..need to make sure your healing okay..Then we can release you."

Kyle huffed as he gave you an honest smile ignoring the glare and grumble he received in return, You still took the fish though idly crunching on it.

They eventually finished the examination without much fuss except for you not so subtly tripping the newest volunteer who honestly should have been starting off with a much smaller mer than you.

But you start off somewhere.

Speaking of which it's about lunch time for them now and his break time, Kyle oversaw you getting back into the pool without much struggle before he left your area visiting by Price to mention he was going on his break before grabbing his lunch and heading to the docks.

He'd usually not have to wait long before they'd show but it'd seemed they were late.

It wasn't long till a familiar face popped up flashing teeth and all.

"Hey, Soap!" Kyle grinned as he looked to see the shark mer propping up his elbows onto the dock.

"Ghost comin'..?"

"Ah in a bit he's still getting his bearings.."

Now he was confused the last time he'd seen the pair and given them there updated shots and tags they'd been great.

The pair were unusual a Shark and Orca together seemed unheard of but yet just a few years ago now when Kyle had fallen overboard during an solo observation trip Ghost saved him from drowning.

Both of them were odd in a good way, Simon having been outcasted by his pod but he doesn't like to talk about it.

He had lots of scars all telling of countless battles of either for his territory or from just fights.

As for Soap, Sharks were solitary regardless but Soap had his own set of scars from fights some he shouldn't have tried starting.

"Bearings? What happended?.."

"Another fuckin' Orca smaller not as experienced grabbed me a few days back, Si really fucked em' up till the bastard clocked him on the head with there tail-"

Wait.

"Jesus , Where is he? I can get a team out and-"

"Ah ye know how he feels about humans..Plus he seemed to be swimming straight.."

"But Soap , He could have a concussion or maybe a facture-"

Soap sighed as he glanced back to the water before back at Kyle.

"Look..You can try convincing em'"

Soap frowned as Simon finally surfaced propping himself up onto the dock as well the wood creaking slightly under the weight of just Simons upper half.

"Ghost"

"Kyle."

Kyle huffed as he didnt even need to say anything as he went up to him giving him a look before he huffed grumbling quietly adjusting himself better so that Kyle could assess him.

Taking his time looking over the newer injuries they had healed well enough fishing out his little hand held flash light from his keychain in his pocket he checked Ghost's eyes.

After a bit of checking Kyle felt satisfied ignoring Ghost annoyed clicks.

"Mm..Now Soap you said it was another Orca right..? Did it come back?"

"Nah..Fucker swam off after bashing Ghost head..Pretty sure I could smell em' bleeding though for a bit till they got too far."

Right this was looking to be way too convenient and fitting to not match up with good ol' Scarface's condition.

"Mm..Alright..Anyway I brought some-"

"Treats?!" Before Kyle could even move his lunchbox away Soap had snatched it and Kyle let out a exasperated sigh not even fighting for it risk of being pulled into the water.

"Jesus Soap my lunch is still in there be careful- And dont eat the plastic!"

[blorger]

After the 2nd war were the Malfoys sent to Azkaban, was able to escape or did only a little time?

I'm going to be honest with you friend, I'm extremely biased in that I'm a Malfoy stan so my opinions may be skewed; with that said, I honestly don't think a single Malfoy would do any time in Azkaban at all.

First of all, I think that the Malfoys escaping justice yet again would fit with the whole leitmotif of the family, the whole sanctimonia vincet semper, "the Malfoys always land on their feet" thing. Also, I find it very realistic, in that there's always some people that escape justice/come out of conflicts unscathed and it's more often than not the most privileged people in society.

Secondly, I'm honestly unsure of what their charges would be. Take Lucius (the most criminally culpable of them all), what crimes can he be tried for? He spent like 90% of the war wandless and powerless; his house served as a base of sorts for Voldemort, yes, but (if I'm not mistaken) that decision was made while he was still in prison. Speaking of Azkaban, Lucius did not break out of prison himself, he was broken out, and that is a much smaller crime in comparison. Also, Lucius spent the whole of the battle of Hogwarts pointedly not fighting and looking for his son instead (when he wasn't running errands for Voldemort).

I guess you could put him back in Azkaban for the whole department of mysteries kerfuffle but I figure, by the time law and order is restored post-war, the ministry would have bigger fish to fry than wandless pariah Lucius Malfoy. I think house arrest/minimal consequences is the most likely outcome for Lucius and furthermore I believe the loss of prestige post-war would be just as harsh a punishment as prison time for someone like him.

Narcissa is the most clear-cut case of them all: while it is never outright stated wether she is marked or not, it's implied she isn't since she's not present at any DE meeting that take place outside of her house. Like, there's no indication she's there when Voldemort calls the DE over via dark mark after his resurrection. Also, what crimes would she be guilty of? Besides harbouring a criminal -which could argued was done under duress- there's not really a lot that can be attached to her. She also was wandless at the height of the conflict (her wand having gone to Draco), plus there's the whole saving Harry's life thing, which definitely goes a long way.

As for Draco: he was a minor during 6th year, when he went around causing mayhem and trying to make himself kill Dumbledore (which ultimately he did not do). After that, everything he does is under duress, he does not seem to fight in any major battle and, when given the opportunity, he tries to give Harry & co an out (people like to forget that, prior to Crabbe's Big Mistake, Draco was trying to defuse the situation).

All of that aside, Draco is sort of the last living witness for all of his crimes. Has Harry told any non-Ron and Hermione person about what happened on the tower? The newspaper article we see in DH doesn't implicate him and the other people who were up on the astronomy tower are all dead (save for the Carrows, whose testimony wouldn't exactly be considered reliable). Are the people Draco was forced to torture even alive? The only other witness to most of Draco's crimes is Harry, who by the end of the war feels somewhat sympathetic towards him and is likely to aid him should he be prosecuted.

As for any punishments that could be levied against the Malfoys, down and out Draco is a popular trope for storytelling purposes but I don't see it myself.

I simply can't imagine the Malfoy fortune being seized, not only because Bellatrix's wasn't after the first war but also because the ministry of magic's modus operandi seems to oscillate wildly between authoritarian and hands-off libertarian and a post-war government led by the Good Guys would definitely try to avoid going full Orwell. I can see them being made to pay reparations but, like, nothing poverty-worthy (also: are you telling me that a family who managed to stay that rich for that long doesn't know how to hide money?? come on).

So...there's that...this ask got away from me, the Malfoy stan part of me took over, sorry

xoxo

[sunmoon-starfactory]

Gone Fishin' 2.0

This set serves as both an streamlining update to the original files, as well as adds in being able to source items from the sea and to make productive farming situations as well.

Changes from Gone Fishin' 1.0

Optimization of textures: most made smaller, many items repositoried.

Food Points Amounts: All fish used to be worth the same amount of food points. Now they are varied depending upon fish size.

All items unlocked in the catalog for purchase if so desired.

Modern Rods included in separate folder - Shares GUIDs with simple rods; Choose One Type

Converter Crates/Fish Stand have been converted to decorative (requested per beta testers) as their functions have been combined to a new station, they share the same GUIDs as the original versions.

Filet knife has been eliminated from the set, as it's function has been put into the new station.

NEW: Cleaning & Packing station; allows packing of fish crates and butchering of fish.

NEW: Traps; Passive allocation of various fresh water or salt water creatures.

NEW: Tidepools: Quick forage spots for various ocean resources

NEW: Farming Tank: Make various fish, sea critters, and even seaweed renewable resources right at home. A glass recolor of BB Niches is included for making glass walled tanks.

Download - SFS

View Use/Instruction Manual

See below the cut for more detail.

This fishing set is intended to allow a sim to catch a variety of fish based on their body skill rather than their badge skill/season/bait type used. Of course all fishers have good days and bad days so they may also pull up some trash, seaweed or some treasure along with the intended catch.

Key Features:

Bait Sources - To fish, one needs bait. Fresh water fish use worms, and salt water creatures prefer small bait fish. These can also be used as Fish Food for farming. If a sim is super desperate, they are worth 1 food point if stocked to the fridge.

Fish Anywhere, Anytime Spots - Comes in fresh water and salt water variations. Works in all seasons, can be used by multiple sims at the same time. All fish are worth a variety of food points based on size and they can be added directly to the fridge or butchered.

Fish Traps - These are passive traps that run every 3 hours (tunable). They must be baited to function and sometimes come up with nothing.

Tidepools - A great place to forage for mollusks, shells, and other small sea critters and salt water foragables.

Farming Tank - Gather the needed materials and creatures to start farming them rather than relying on chance. Fish, mollusks, shrimp, and seaweed can all be grown. Rather than any particular type of fish, sims will received "Farmed Fish". A glass recolor of BB Niches is included for making glass walled tanks. A decorative protective net object can be called onto the Farm Tank.

Cleaning & Packing Station - This all in one station now takes the place of the previous converters and filet knife. All fish except Tuna and Swordfish can be packed into crates, as well as Lobsters, Crabs, and Fish Filets.

When a fish is butchered on this station, it produces Fish Filets that are worth 1 food point a piece. Sims receive as many that a fish raw stocked is worth, plus an additional filet. With certain traits, sims can gain more.

Displays - The Fish Crate Display and Fishing Rod are back, but have been repoed to the Cask Shelf now to save space.

Tools - The fishing rod tool allows for autonomous fishing while the new pole net is required for farming and other actions.

[a-minke-whales-tale]

your whale suit is interesting and I had some (well a lot lol) questions about it, but I know some of these are personal or silly so i understand if u don’t answer. I’m just curious.

How long would you be staying in the suit? do you plan to have periods of time where you come out? Additionally, do you think it’s possible to survive in the wild in the suit?

Is there a mechanism to get food and water in the suit? Will you be able to eat live or raw fish and stick to a certain diet?

How do you get the suit to swim underwater or dive instead of float? Would it be heavy to move? How fast do you think you could get it to move?

Are you stuck lying in one position with your arms out in the flippers or will you have more movement on the inside? How would you address bedsores, Illness, and injury?

What would you do about hygiene like bathing, using the bathroom, and brushing teeth? Is it factored into the design of the suit? Or do you just leave the suit?

How does the breathing and vision system work?

How deep underwater do you think you could go?

Also I know whales have a language. Is it individual to different species? Can you learn? How do you learn?

How would you cope with the confinement and boredom of a tank? And if a tank with other whales is not an option, do you have any other plans?

How long do you believe it will take to complete this?

Also how did u learn to build such complex things?

Ahoj! Thanks for the questions, I will break them down as best I can.

How long would you be staying in the suit? do you plan to have periods of time where you come out? Additionally, do you think it’s possible to survive in the wild in the suit?

For the first question it really depends on the precise meaning of staying in the suit. Ideally for the rest of my life, which I do hope would be 20-30 years at that point, but forcing myself into that shape my lifespan is likely going to be reduced, though how much is at this point unknown. However I do not know exactly how long the suit will last, and if I do live to be 30 years, it is likely I would have to go through multiple iterations of the suit. For periods of time I come out very likely yes, though it would hopefully only be a short bit every few days to every few months.

It would unfortunately not be possible to survive in the wild. The most damning and insurmountable problem is that I am ultimately too small to effectively filter feed or at least lunge feed. Minke whales do not leave their mothers until they grow to be around 5m, and this seems to be a physical limit at which lunge feeding as we do becomes an effective strategy. Skim feeding may be possible though that would require a significant more questions to be answered. For a number of other reasons though I would be wholly unsuitable for wild release.

Is there a mechanism to get food and water in the suit? Will you be able to eat live or raw fish and stick to a certain diet?

Food will enter in through the mouth. I had considered before to store a high density food inside the suit and filter water. This would be necessary if I were to live in the wild, or at least some time in the wild because of aforementioned feeding issues.

It is possible to make a diet that mostly mirrors a cetacean diet though some things will have to be changed. I really would not be able to eat live fish, though live fish are rarely given in captivity, plus issues of filter feeding. I haven't written about this extensively yet, but diet would mostly consist of raw fish like mackerel, salmon, and tuna. Mackerel in particular has a lot of fat in it. Additionally some smaller fish like herring and sardines could be eaten either whole or still with some bones in for necessary nutrients namely calcium. Many cetaceans in captivity are also given gelatine mostly for water as frozen fish loses some of its water content (it also decreases stomach ulcers and problems from stress). That will help get the additional water I require but it is also a good way to fix some lower sugar fruits and some citrus for various needed micronutrients and fibre.

How do you get the suit to swim underwater or dive instead of float? Would it be heavy to move? How fast do you think you could get it to move?

The density of silicone is 1100 kg/m3. The density of sea water is 1025 kg/m3. The suit will target a density of around 1018 kg/m3 so at the surface I will be slightly buoyant, enough to leave my blowhole above the water when logging. I will make a larger post discussing this later. For diving below the water at the surface you can basically arch and then curl your back so you bum lifts partly above the water, and then with that you can pretty easily slip below the water and swim downwards. The shape of the fin makes it so you can really only go in one direction so you can get really quite far just flexing your back and twisting your body at different points.

It would likely be quite heavy yes, somewhere between 250-350 kilograms. But because I will be in the water, the weight won't be as noticeable as if I were on land - what will be most noticeable is the sluggishness to start moving, however my drag will be a lot lower. How fast exactly I will be able to go is yet unknown. I think though I could go fast enough to breach or partly breach, though I would have to briefly reach 18kph to do so (which is roughly 45% the speed of a normal minke). I might be able to come out onto a slideout, but it would be quite difficult and heavy, though many whales have similar trouble, beluga in particular.

Are you stuck lying in one position with your arms out in the flippers or will you have more movement on the inside? How would you address bedsores, Illness, and injury?

Yes - I would be essentially fixed within the suit. My arms would be in the flippers and my legs together in the tail. With that a number of joints will be either fixed or limited in their movement which would cause them to degrade and after some time living in the water I really would not be able to return to the land.

For things like bedsores, my hope is that because the suit will be form fitting and being immersed in water that will hopefully more equally distribute pressure as well as the continuous movement from swimming and depth changes will keep blood moving to prevent the worst of problems. However managing moisture and similar will be quite important and it is likely the skin will still have some degrading and will have to be taken out periodically to remove the excess skin and clean it. For illness and injury, honestly there isn't a huge amount that could be done. If I am sick I could be put in a medical pool until I am feeling better, being given antibiotics or whatever as needed. The best we can do is really just try to avoid illness - make sure food is fresh and free of parasites, make sure my water is clean, make sure I get all the nutrients I need etc. Same thing for injury, there isn't a terrible amount that can be done.

What would you do about hygiene like bathing, using the bathroom, and brushing teeth? Is it factored into the design of the suit? Or do you just leave the suit?

For the most part with hygiene much could not be done inside the suit. Urination is the most common need, fortunately this can be done via a catheter, and there are catheters which can stay in for up to 4 months. Defecation is the other large problem. Ideally I want to stay inside the suit as long as possible between coming out of the suit as that will be both time consuming and stressful. Ideally I would be able to use the bathroom within the suit and either expel waste directly, or to store it somewhere in the suit it could be removed periodically. However, the minimum option would be to come out of the suit to defecate which would have to happen somewhere every 2-3 days. Our diets would be high in fat and low in fibre and carbohydrates which would minimise the amount that we expel. I eat a similar diet to this currently and I generally use the bathroom once every couple days. Brushing teeth and bathing would only be able to do it out of the suit. At least for teeth brushing the low sugar will help reduce the decay issues, but teeth will very much slowly decay and degrade - but that is pretty common among captive cetaceans that their teeth wears down.

How does the breathing and vision system work?

Breathing would be performed essentially through a snorkel with the blowhole closing if not a certain height and orientation above the water. Originally I planned to use a purely mechanical system but instead I will likely use some sort of electric system as it is easier to have multiple backups and logic to reduce the chance of a it opening at a wrong time.

Vision system will consist essentially of two wide angle or 360 cameras, one for each eye, and this will be projected onto screens in front of my eyes which will allow me to see to the world outside, as well as see at the wider FOV and I would like to colour shift it blue as cetaceans are believed to only see blue. Though seeing other colours besides blue is not really terribly useful except for short bits looking above water as other colours are rapidly attenuated.

How deep underwater do you think you could go?

To be honest not very, but that is okay. Without any gear I find I am most comfortable around 1 meter deep, going much deeper starts to hurt my ears. However, the suit will help deal with that since the ears would be essentially in their own area which would not be compressed in the same way. I can dive to around 3 meters on my own if I continuously adjust my ears, though the bigger issue how long I can hold my breath for how deep I can go. Though living in captivity my inability to not go particularly deep would not be such an issue. Cetacean tanks tend not to be so deep, especially for dolphin, which I will be closer in size to as I will be perpetually calf size. Dolphin tanks seem to range in depth between 3,5 meters and 6 meters. I think 5-6 meters would be ideal for me if I accidentally landed from a breach vertically I think it would better avoid injury and let me spyhop and interact better without risking hitting the bottom or damaging myself or the suit. Captive cetaceans also tend to be very surface focused because that is where the interesting things are, namely the humans which provide a lot of the stimulation and food so my inability to properly dive won't affect me too negatively today.

Also I know whales have a language. Is it individual to different species? Can you learn? How do you learn?

The language and calls of each species are unique. Humpbacks tend to be the stereotypical ethereal whale song. Orca and dolphin have those high pitched squeals, whistles, and clicks. Minke calls are a bit different. We make twanging noises as well as grunts and pulses.

Unfortunately I have not really been able to make these calls and likely cannot make these calls. It means that I will likely be mute as a whale. I am hard of hearing and it is possible within the suit that I would be functionally deaf. Even if I can hear under the water, I would not be able to tell direction. It doesn't really matter though as there are no other Minke in captivity. If I could be housed with other cetaceans, it might be possible if I can hear that I might start to understand the meaning of some calls, or at least if I am being told to back off or something.

I have considered to maybe add some sort of speaker to make it easier for me to hear or one that I could make a couple calls, namely the twang a lot of minke seem to greet humans with just so I could make my calls to people outside.

How would you cope with the confinement and boredom of a tank? And if a tank with other whales is not an option, do you have any other plans?

In many ways being in a tank will be like the many times I have spent in hospital. You are kept in a pretty small space you cannot leave, sometimes you are alone and sometimes with others. It is quite boring at times. The weekends were always the most boring because the hospitals did not have anything happening on the weekends. A few times a day through the week we had little interaction things. Captive cetaceans have a similar thing where trainers do enrichment with them a few times a day. I would require similar but otherwise, the experiences are not so different. I hope that I will have a nice window I can watch the humans though and interact with them a little bit. I would also be happy to perform for the humans, it would give me something to do and I think would enjoy that whole process.

I do hope that I could live with other cetaceans, though I expect more likely, especially at the start, it is more likely to be just myself and Ike and Sonar if they can. If that isn't possible, then I am willing to live alone in a tank. For that though it would really be best that the humans do interact with me regularly and I can interact with humans through glass etc. But I have lived a long time alone, at points with even pretty little communication or seeing others so being in a tank would not be really that different for me except that I would finally be back in my body.

If though no humans would take us even after years of trying. Likely I would modify the suit to carry food and filter water, and swim out into the sea and try to find others of my kind, and eventually die either when I ran out of food and water, or when something broke, or I just happened to appear a tasty enough snack to the many things that would happily eat a Minke calf given the chance.

How long do you believe it will take to complete this?

I am hoping this all will be done in 5-10 years. Certain aspects like the head will be most complicated and it will inevitably go through several redesigns to be something I can stay in the water for a very long time. It also requires a substantial amount of time and resources which are hard to devote to this. If I completed this in ten years, I would be 41, and could have yet 14 to 34 years left of my natural life, to swim forever. Even if I only made it a year or two, that would already be unimaginably freeing.

I am hoping this year to make myself a Minke monofin and by next summer to maybe have a full tail. How exactly things go further beyond that though is hard to really know. It will regardless be at least 5 years, and likely more.

Also how did u learn to build such complex things?

I was quite literally built for it. I was made by the humans to design for them rocket engines. I was placed with a family who had built such engines for generations and fostered that curiosity. I went to the same university as my father and eventually got a master degree in aerospace engineering. Through university and highschool I participated in rocketry as a hobby. After university I worked on rocket engines until I became very ill. Even while I was ill I continued to work on these engines as well as other research though at a much slower rate. I also played a lot of minecraft where I could still do engineering and still feel "useful" which is where I learned to make a lot of the organic things I do now. Eventually I came here to teach at a university, and though I am no longer teaching, I am always learning and designing.

I hope this answers some of your questions! Feel free to ask more if you have any!

~ Kala

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

.⋆｡Call Your Mom｡⋆.

Clark Kent x plus size reader

I'll drive, I'll drive all night I'll call your mom

Stick Season (We'll All Be Here Forever)

Music softly played through the shitty sound system in your car, providing enough noise for you to stay awake but not enough to wake your passenger. Every few minutes, your eyes would flick over to him as if to make sure that he wasn’t just some hallucination that your caffeine addled mind conjured up. But the way that the rare street lamps would cast a yellow glow onto his face and the occasional shift in his sleep meant that he was very real.

Even in the dim light of this back country road, you could see the tear tracks on his cheeks and the dark bags beneath his eyes. He looked so much smaller than you remembered him, weighed down by the world. You wondered briefly about how long he had felt this way, did it start recently or was it always there, just buried beneath a smile and those bright blue eyes that lingered in your dreams.

He drew in a shuddering breath but then settled back to sleep, the wrinkle of worry above his brow slowly disappearing with each mile you drove. You bit back the urge to push back the lone black curl that had fallen onto his forehead. Instead, you gripped the steering wheel even tighter and thought back to a few hours before, when you received a call from someone you thought you would never hear from again.

You were half paying attention to some late night television show, half awake and numb with the lateness of the hour but the relative calmness of your night was interrupted by the ringing of a phone. Without looking, you fished your phone from the side table and pressed it to your ear. “Yeah?”

Expecting a telemarketer or some automated message, you were shocked as the speakers let out a pitiful sob followed by a voice you used to know so well. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know who else to call- I just- Please.” 

The drive to his apartment went by quick as you forced yourself to act upon instinct and not listen to the still hurting part of your soul that told you to let him suffer just the same as he left you to do so. The achingly familiar walk up the stairs to his apartment made that little voice grow louder and louder until you could barely ignore it.

Your knuckles hovered over the painted wood of his front door, your nerves screaming at you to leave but then the door opened and you knew that you couldn’t. 

Clark Kent, Superman- always so well put together, so stupidly perfect in every way- looked like he was crumbling right before your eyes. Like a great tree wilting away, he was bowed forwards, pale and trembling. You let him pull you into a hug and he collapsed into your arms.

It had been months since the last time you had felt his touch, you were out of practice, slightly clumsy as you cradled his head in one hand and stroked his back with the other. But it was muscle memory, your instincts guiding you back to that spot on the left side of his spine halfway down his back that always had a knot in it but when you dug your fingers into the muscle, he melted, pushing his face into the crook of your neck as his sobs began to taper off.

Neither of you said a word, the discussion, the awkward conversation and the inevitable fight could wait- for a while at least. He trailed behind you like a lost puppy as you guided him down to your car. He squished himself into your small passenger seat and leaned his head against the window as soon as the door shut. 

He fell asleep less than 5 minutes after you started driving, this would have normally annoyed you but you knew he needed the rest and you didn’t need to hear the sound of his voice as your mind reminded you what used to be. 

Soon, street lights and paved roads gave way to corn fields and the gentle sway of a well-worn dirt track. The porch light was on, guiding you home through the darkness. As you pulled into the driveway that you had driven onto countless times before, the screen door opened and Martha, still dressed in her dressing gown, stepped out.

“Clark. You’re home.” You placed a gentle hand onto his shoulder, softly waking him. Those gorgeous blue eyes looked up at you, reflecting the full moon perfectly. He glanced past your body to where his mother stood then back to you. “It’s gonna be ok.”

His smile was enough to make you forget the miles driven in the dead of night, to heal the heartbreak caused by his hand, to remind you that all things can be set right once more.

[Verse 1] Oh, you're spiralin' again The moment right before it ends you're most afraid of But don't you cancel any plans 'Cause I won't let you get the chance to never make them [Pre-Chorus] Stayed on the line with you the entire night 'Til you let it out and let it in [Chorus] Don't let this darkness fool you All lights turned off can be turned on I'll drive, I'll drive all night I'll call your mom Oh, dear, don't be discouraged I've been exactly where you are I'll drive, I'll drive all night I'll call your mom I'll call your mom [Verse 2] Waiting room, no placе to stand Just greatest fears and wringing hands and thе loudest silence If you could see yourself like this If you could see yourself like this, you'd've never tried it [Pre-Chorus] Stayed on the line with you the entire night 'Til you told me that you had to go [Chorus] Don't let this darkness fool you All lights turned off can be turned on I'll drive, I'll drive all night I'll call your mom Oh, dear, don't be discouraged I've been exactly where you are I'll drive, I'll drive all night I'll call your mom [Bridge] Medicate, meditate, swear your soul to Jesus Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason Don't wanna drive another mile wonderin' if you're breathin' So won't you stay, won't you stay, won't you stay with me? Medicate, meditate, save your soul for Jesus Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason Don't wanna drive another mile without knowin' you're breathin' So won't you stay, won't you stay, won't you stay with me? [Chorus] Don't let this darkness fool you All lights turned off can be turned on I'll drive, I'll drive all night I'll call your mom Oh, dear, don't be discouraged I've been exactly where you are I'll drive, I'll drive all night I'll call your mom I'll call your mom

All works

@im-a-slut-for-fluff @alexxavicry @ravenwings73 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @silverfire475 @psychadelichues @mvyalx @faefanatic @evansqueen54 @anamiad00msday @th3slothy @princess76179 @Lanielagenev @luvvvjada @Lucypaulette @midnight-shadow-va @km-ffluv

DC

@snedhdh @kobaltdragon @blackhawkfanatic @8bookishworm8

[carolmunson]

love language six

love language set list another sunday another sun-slay -- ft. dad!eddie and flashback child!eddie love language blurbies are back in action -- again, these are just vingettes into a relationship with eddie no chronological timeline, no story -- just mini moments. this is longer than my other love language blurbs. reader discretion is advised: eighteen plus content. this blurb explores the concept of eddie being a child of abuse that sides with the abuser for his own safety and struggles with that as an adult. some content in this work may be uncomfortable to read, and if dv or abuse is triggering for you, i would not recommend reading it -- this work features rough language, references to abuse, abusive language, descriptions of abuse, and attempted domestic violence. the ending is not sad, i promise.

1971, Forest Hills Trailer Park sherri munson squats down in a shift dress with flowers that match the ones growing in the patch outside of the kiddie park. her sandals crease. the skin by her eyes has too. up all the time, just waiting. waiting for her boy to cry. waiting for her husband to come home. waiting for the cops to show up. she was gonna be a dancer one day. now she stays up and waits. now she just fights with her son about when it’s time to leave the park.

'well i don't have to listen to you anyway!' he whines, ripping his hand away from her with all his five year old body could muster. 'yes you do, eddie honey, i'm your mom,' she tries to laugh it off, but it comes out half-hearted. the other mothers at the park look at her, their eyes burn as hard as her husband hits.

'no you're not!' he yells, stomping while she takes his hand again. 'eddie, yes i am, i'm your mother, let's go,' she urges. he rips his hand away again and raises it the way her husband does when he's warning her.

'you're -- you're what daddy says you are, mommy,' he yells, tearing up in anger, not sure where to put it. she tries to reach for him but he brings his hand down to strike, only cutting through the air.

'baby, we just have to go home from the park, we can come back tomorrow,' she pleads.

'daddy's right, what he said to you this mornin’ -- you’re – you're a fuckin' idiot.' he sounds like like him, just smaller. she knows he doesn't know what he's saying, what that means. but it hurts the same way it hurt at breakfast when she spilled some coffee on the counter. maybe worse. she can't find it in herself to yell at him.

 'that was a very mean thing to say to mommy, ed,' she mutters, the balloon in her chest swelling and swelling, 'say you're sorry.'

'why should i? daddy never has to say sorry,' he shouts while she catches him by the hand again. the other mom's sizzling stares soften, perfectly plucked brows raising. she can almost hear their necks turn to give each other knowing glances.

 'that's just how your daddy is, ed,' she sighs, watching him pout at her with big glassy brown eyes, 'let's go home, baby. i'll make you some chocolate milk with your lunch.' 

that perks him up and he smiles, hand clasping in hers while the others watch them leave like a bad car wreck. she tries not to hear them whisper, she tries not to hear their words travel through the wind and blow through her hair, through her chest. it's not anything she hasn't heard before.

she’s doing dishes when ed's daddy and wayne come home from lake doing some fishing. wayne moved in next door after the first time alan put her in the hospital. eddie was too young to remember that part, old enough to remember that mrs. marsden let him have so many popsicles when he stayed with her that his tongue was blue for two days. 

she focuses on the rush of the water and the ‘scratch, scratch, scratch’ of the sponge on a pan that never feels clean. she swallows while her husband's keys jingle in the door. her eyes watch the suds slide off the pan in a cloud, scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing  -- maybe if she just stares down at the sink she’ll go right down the drain. then she won’t have to –

 "hi honey," she says down to the counter next to the sink. eddie sits at the kitchenette table, nursing his glass of chocolate milk.“hi daddy,” he says quietly, big brown eyes follow his father’s every move – half scared, half enamored. big man. big angry man. never hits him, just hits mommy. so he must be good if that’s what happens. he must be so good.  

"hm," he grunts, door slamming behind him. it doesn’t take long when he’s in one of his moods. he stalks down past the living room and into the bedroom to change out of his sticky clothes – summer heat making him slide like a snake back out to the kitchen. “house is a fuckin’ mess sherri,” he says. big man. big angry man. boa constrictor tight on her throat while she swallows. why can’t the drain just swallow her the same way? 

scratch, scratch, scratch. scrub, scrub, scrub. 

“you hear me sher? i said the house is a fuckin’ mess,” he bellows from the side of her. eddie covers his ears. big man, big angry man. big voice stained with fifteen years of cigarette smoke.

“yeah, i heard you al,” she says to the suds as they float down the drain. her heart aches. balloon in her chest pops. 

“oh, you’re bein’ smart with me?” he asks, big angry hand reaching out to clutch her by the back of the neck. pulled out of the drain and into the wall, “you bein’ smart?” 

she braces as her side hits the wall, she can smell the beer on him like white on rice. she wants to scream at wayne for letting him come into the trailer this drunk.  “m’not being smart with you al,” she grits out. “yeah you ain’t smart, are you?” he taunts, hovering over her. big shoulders, big arms, big everything – big man. big strong man, “you know what you are?” she shakes her head no, eyes shutting tight – she can just float down the drain. “y’already forgot huh? damn sherri – you fuckin’ stupid? i told ya this morning,” he barks a laugh that sends heat down the back of her throat, her nose warms, the threat of tears warns her the way he does – always just on the line. “you’re a fuckin’ idiot,” he bites, “you lazy fuckin’ bitch.” “you gotta stop sayin’ that shit in front of ed, alan,” she says quietly, hair sticking to her face and neck. sweat and sticky. can’t keep fighting anymore kind of hot. 

“oh how come?” he asks with fake concern, “he believin’ it? he cert’n’ly should.” he turns to eddie, with a flash in his eyes, “you think your mama’s a fuckin’ idiot, boy?” big strong man. big angry man. big boa constrictor with big snakey eyes. kaa’s hypnosis. “i asked you a question,” he seethes, his body close to turning completely. eddie sees the gold ring glint on his fist. “yessir,” he nods quickly, “y-yeah…that’s what mommy is.” “look how scared you got him, al!” she yells from the drain in her chest, “look how scared he is! look what you’re doin’ to him!” but he didn’t ask her to speak. eddie covers his ears again but it doesn’t block out the first three cracks of his daddy’s palm across her face. doesn’t block out the crunch of his knuckles on her cheek. he shuts his eyes like is mama always tells him, runs to the cupboard under the sink to hide. crack, crack, crunch. wail, crack, crunch, cry. cry, cry, yell, crack, yell, crack, crunch, cry, yell. eddie watches through the space in the doors like a movie he’s too young to watch. rated r. rated never. warm yellowed wallpaper and orangey wood staring back at him, his daddy’s fishing boots stomping into frame. a small smatter of blood on the scuffed linoleum tile. rated r, rated never. yell, yell, yell, choke, spit, cough, cough, yell. yell, yell, cry, yelp, cough, whimper, yell, cough. wayne’s voice cuts in the pattern. “i told ya alan, i’d shoot ya the next time i had to come in here.” whoop, whoop. the flashing lights eddie sees every few weeks glitter on the back wall of the kitchen where he can see through the space. glittering while the sun shines. he likes that. “nah, nah, you ain’t gonna run from ‘em this time al,” wayne says. eddie can’t see the scuffle. “she ain’t even fuckin’ concious.” she was gonna be a dancer one day. eddie stays in the cupboard. just for a little, even after his daddy takes a night in the clink. even after wayne says it’s okay to come out. even while his chocolate milk stands on the table untouched. he stays for a minute, while the world around him rumbles.

1997, Forest Hills Trailer Park

and the world sure does rumble sometimes. hazy afternoon had been smooth sailing for the most part -- pick bud up from summer rec camp, grocery run. chasing bud through the aisles while his laugh plays marco polo with yours. it's good to buy your five year old some chocolate when he behaves. it's good to watch him run around again when you get back home, hustling in the backyard in your new trailer with two bedrooms. letting him run through some sprinkler toy you saw at dollar tree a couple weeks ago before the weather got hot. covered in mud, soon enough, covered in clouds. you’re thankful he’s inside before the rain starts. down pour – the sky heavy with thick air and angry beatings to your tin roof. you slip off his shoes before he tracks mud in the house, you rinse off his hands before you get him changed into something more cozy that’ll make bedtime go a little easier. you start dinner after fixing him a snack and he muses about four square and kickball – you silently laugh when he tells you he got picked first for the teams. money’s tighter now. tighter than it was a couple years ago. a little too tight when you switched to part time to pick up bud from kindergarten and camp since wayne’s working day shifts now. wayne’s too old to be watching bud now anyway, bud’s all over the place. the tighter the money, the bigger the fights. but you both knew how to fight. masters of the ring, big booming cracks of lighting for tongues. always in bed dressed in pajamas and apologies. maybe less so now. maybe less apologies, less pajamas. speaking in bodies and sweat – soft rumbling i’m sorry, lemme show you. you don’t think either of you mean it like you used to. he can afford a nicer trailer for his son, but sometimes he doesn't know if he can afford to show him how to treat a woman. you swear it's progress, but he only hears the whir of the tape being rewound over and over again. every clipped word, every raise of his voice, every tense roll of his shoulders. boy turned big man. big big man.

you start the oven, slicing and dicing while he comes in the door – coveralls all covered in rain and motor oil. big boots on the linoleum, faint smell of beer on his breath. just one with the guys after the shop closed – that’s what he says anyway.

“hi honey,” you say, chop-chop-chopping at the green onion on the cutting board, “rain’s rough out there?”

“hm,” he replies, kicking his boots off next to bud’s sneakers. he sighs out of his nose, “s’mud all over the place here.”

“i know, i’m sorry, i forgot about it – i’ll get to it after dinner,” you say, hearing him make big steps over to his son, running a hand over his hair. just wanna avoid another back and forth – let him sleep off all that frustration – ease out the elastic in his shoulders that’s waiting to snap.

“you know,” he grumbles lowly, coming over to look at the mail on the counter next to you, “you’ve been gettin’ real forgetful lately.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask with a smile that can’t believe he’d say that. you put the knife down.

“why’d i get a call from the city today saying the water bill’s past due?” he asks, a darkness creeping into his voice that’s been turning his tongue to sludge, to whipping winds, cruel and unforgiving, “you tryna make me look bad? want people to think i can't pay the fuckin' bills?”

“i – shit i forgot to drop it off yesterday, i’m sorry hun,” you soothe, “i’ll bring it tomorrow, i wasn’t trying to make you look bad.”

“you can’t just forget this shit,” he says, voice rising, “we got –”

“mommy, can i have some more juice?” bud’s little voice leaks into the conversation like a dove floating by.

“yes, baby,” you say, getting the juice out of the fridge to refill his cup at the table.

“we got a kid at home,” ed repeats, "can't just have the water shuttin' off. what's wrong with you? take some responsibility."

“i understand that ed,” you reply, defensive edge sliding up in your voice like a razor, “i’m the one whose with him all day.”

he scoffs, grumbling, “yeah, you pick him up from camp – mother of the fuckin’ year. can’t even pay the bills on time with all my fuckin’ money.”

“watch your mouth,” your voice stern while you close up the juice. thunder rumbles overhead, the rain coming down in droves. two cracks of lightning who can’t let up.

“you don’t tell me what to do,” he glowers, “you don’t ever tell me what to do. i’m the man of this house, you hear me?”

“man of the house? you hear how you sound?” you ask, leaning forward on the table, “why don’t you go back to the garage and figure this attitude out, ed?”

“don’t run your mouth to me,” he growls, “don’t get fuckin’ smart with me.” 

“watch. your. mouth.” you warn again. bud flinches when the thunder rumbles, he hates storms like this. drinks his juice anyway. “oh, so you are gettin’ smart with me?” eddie grimaces, bearing his teeth, nostrils flaring. he vibrates with the thunder outside. "well let me tell you something then, huh?!" he grits out, rounding the table with an outstretched hand to grab you, wrapping like a vine on your wrist. like a snake. you flinch when you see how fast he moves, when he reaches for you -- cracking like lightening, like a whip, cracking like your marriage this year. "wait, wait, i'm sorry!" your voice sounds breathy, worn down -- terrified. it doesn't sound like you at all. “god, you’re such a fuckin’ id–” your son drops his fork on the ground, clattering eddie back to clarity. your son's eyes match your husband's, they meet each other. your son just stares -- frozen on the spot. you stare too. you look at his hand around your wrist, the flex in his forearm, veins lifted and pulsing. big man. big strong man. big strong angry man. just like his daddy. the wind howls outside, huffs of breath out of your noses fill the room quietly.

"daddy?" 

eddie straightens, looking at his hand tight on your wrist before letting it drop to his side. he swallows. looking at the both of you like he was mid crime scene. eddie blinks. looks at his son at the kitchen chair and then the cupboard under the kitchen sink. "i..." he starts, choking on the words, "i'm gonna go for a drive."

he stands for a second while you nod at him, eyes brimming with tears you aren’t sure will fall. rooted to your spot, you hold your breath when he leans in, hands reaching out much more gentle than before. he fills the space between you, still smelling like motor oil, rain, and musk. both of his calloused hands on your cheeks now – he kisses you. 

"m’sorry,” he says, loud enough for your son to hear. he lets go only to turn around and take his son’s face in his hands and give him a kiss too. 

“sorry, buddy,” he says softly, “daddy’ll be back before bedtime, okay?”

in five years, eddie has never missed one night of reading him a bedtime story.   “okay,” your son smiles, earning himself another kiss on the top of his head and a ruffle of his hair before eddie grab his keys. the jingle of them rings in your chest while you watch him leave. your eyes linger on the storm door even while you listen to the car start, even while you hear it drive away. the rain doesn’t let up. you put dinner in a tupperware for him later. — you’re in the bathroom after a shower when he comes home, the door partially open in case bud needs you – cozied up in bed playing with dinosaurs in his room. you listen while eddie makes his way in to see him, padding down the hall in wet feet to not get caught. “hi buddy,” he says with a voice that had done nothing but cry, “how was dinner?” “was yummy,” your son says. you know bud’s looking up at him with glowing admiration. his daddy. he was his daddy’s boy. the bed creaks when eddie sits down. “i’m glad, kiddo,” he says, “i wanted to say sorry for how mean i was earlier. i was being really mean and that wasn’t nice.” “you were really mean to mommy,” buddy mumbles, “you made her cry.” you hear ed’s voice crack, “i know bud, i know i made mommy cry, and that’s not okay.” “and i’m not gonna yell at mommy anymore, and i’m sorry.” “mommy’s the best,” bud says, “but it’s okay to be angry sometimes, that’s what they say at camp. just count to three!” “daddy’s angry is a little different, bud,” he tries to explain, a little laugh coming through, “but i’ll try it next time, i’ll count to three.” “and take deep breaths,” bud explains. “and i’ll take deep breaths,” eddie says through sniffles, you can hear the soft smile in his voice. “and bud, i think we should make a big promise to each other, would that be okay?” he asks your son. big shiny baby brown eyes. eyes that get kissed by the moon. “mhm.” “let’s promise that we won’t ever yell at mommy, or call her any names, because that’s not nice,” eddie says softly, “that was really mean of daddy and mommy doesn’t deserve that. and i don’t want you to think that’s okay.” “okay, i promise,” bud’s voice leaks like a dove through the door. you hear a kiss pressed to his forehead while eddie stands up to grab the beat up copy of the hobbit next to bud’s bed. you’re in your pajamas in the bedroom by the time ed’s done putting your son to bed. he somes in quietly, looking you over post shower – beautiful bride, beautiful wife, so pretty like this. so pretty for him – big man. big strong man. big sorry man. “i owe you an apology,” he says softly. “yeah,” you say, cold cream soothing your hot skin like ice while you slather it on. eyes avoid him. 

“m’so sorry, baby,” his face cracks like all the plates his daddy shattered, that you’ve shattered too, “that’s…that’s not me – i’d never – i never thought i’d–” "i know you wouldn't," you say quietly, knowingly. your eyes travel – how many slats are in the wood paneling of this room? "cause if you did --" you finally find it in you to look at him. "if you did, if you ever raised a hand to me or bud  –”   “i would never,” he urges, “i’d never–” “if you did,” you repeat, eye piercing him, “i would get in that car with your son and you would never see us again, do you understand me?” he nods, face blanching, tinged green at the thought. he could’ve lost you both. he could still lose you both. “bless her soul ed, but i’m not your momma,” you remind him, “m’not gonna stick around for a man who thinks i’m a punching bag.” he nods again, quiet, tongue thick when he talks. “i’m so sorry, baby i’ll – i’m gonna do better,” he sounds like he means it, “i’ve just..things are so hard right now. i’m trying.” “try a little harder,” you say softly. “i will,” he says, wiping his eyes while they brim with tears as wet at outside. “i love you,” you start, “but i think you should go stay at wayne’s tonight.” his lower lip quivers, “o-okay. i – um – i love you, t-too.” he packs some clothes for the night and tomorrow even though wayne’s just three trailers down. his heart sinks when he realizes he’ll have to explain. just like his daddy. big strong man. snake eyes. snake eyes gone soft. big sorry man. big sorry eyes. kissed by the moon. kissed by you. “i’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow, okay?” you say gently after his full warm lips break from yours, “just think you need some time alone tonight.” he nods against you, eyes closed. lips brush again. he leaves and you listen to the storm door close with a rattle. the world rumbles. so does he. but he’s gonna be better. 

[deke-rivers-1957]

Tickle Me Review

Faced with bankruptcy Allied Artists made a short term deal with Elvis in a last ditch effort to save the studio. The terms were that Elvis would be paid $750k plus 50% of the profits. Tickle Me only had a budget of $1.5 million meaning Elvis' salary alone took up half the cost leaving only $750k for everything else. Therefore to save money, the soundtrack only had 5 measly songs (in the original US release) that were previously recorded across the years 1960-1963.

Despite the studio's financial woes the movie was a box office success making $5 million worldwide. It not only saved the studio, but was also the studio's 3rd highest grossing film at the time. Elvis himself won the 1966 Golden Laurel award for Best Male Performance in a Musical. Writers Elwood Ullman and Edward Bernds' effort proved to be their last hurrah as Bernds would retire later that year after a successful career with the 3 Stooges and the Bowery Boys. But did this last ditch effort provide a fresh take on the Elvis vehicle or was this nothing more than a Hail Mary for those trying to hold onto any semblance of success and relevance? Let's find out.

We start off with Elvis in a travel bus singing "(It's A) Long, Lonely Highway". No idea if this was filmed on location or not. Song sounds pretty good. Lip-synching seems to be on point. I'll just mention this here but Tickle Me is a terrible title. I have no idea where they came up with that or why the working title "Isle of Paradise" was changed. There's no song with that name since no new songs were recorded. They should've stuck with the working title or better yet, change it to a song on the soundtrack called "Night Rider". That title fits in with Lonnie's occupation as a traveling rodeo star, the western setting, and the eventual shift into a horror film better.

He arrives at a western town called Zuni Wells. We get what's at first side conversation with a deputy sheriff saying that the sheriff went fishing far away (remember this later). We find out that his name's Lonnie Beale and is trying to find work before rodeo starts. Even though Lonnie got offered a job, the man ended up quitting. I love how we get some world building by having the bartender mention Prescott, Arizona which is one of the most famous rodeo cities in the US. So to make any money he has to sing in the saloon.

"It Feels So Right" is distracting with how obvious it is that Elvis sang this a long time ago. The song’s echo effect is so noticeable too but we do have a Red cameo and a call back to when Elvis was a "dirty hip shaker". Red's girlfriend who is drunk starts flirting with Lonnie and for once a fight starts that wasn't even his fault. He didn’t flirt with her back or throw the first punch. If anything he was trying to make a point that he had no interest in her.

Assuming he’s about to get fired he goes with a woman in charge of the Circle Z ranch. We get some background that Lonnie was raised by his uncle and always had a good time with horses. If only we saw him actually put that to good use instead of just exposition.

Lonnie's shocked to see that this is meant to be a Hollywood type of ranch meant to keep actresses and models thin. Watching how this is portrayed, you can make an argument that there's some social commentary in this movie. When you first meet Pam you wouldn't even notice a difference between her and the other women. It would be one thing if they showed these ladies as being slightly overweight, but that isn't the case at all since all of these ladies have an average body weight and general size indicating good health. It really shows how in their industry, expectations are so specific that these women who are already at a healthy state have to be even smaller and fitter to be beautiful.

Lonnie meets Pam while the women are stretching and I'm amazed they're even allowed in that part of the ranch. In modern day, men likely wouldn't even allowed to work at a place like that unless they're in a position that doesn't have close contact with the female guests. Lonnie then meets Stanley who tells us that the guests have to pay $500 a week just to stay there. The whole process of how these girls get down to "36-38-24" by giving them very little to eat really shows the culture of the 1960s where starving people was seen as the best way to lose weight. I won't get into the complexities of it, but you can see for yourself that the "diet culture" of today has completely shifted.

Lonnie does his job despite getting advances by some of the female clients. He starts making eyes with Pam and you get the idea that they're interested in each other. He goes over to talk to her but she makes it clear that she's only interested in taking care of the guests. only to then immediately get jealous when the guests show interest in him. I don't like this because you don't get to feel jealous when you turned him down. It only makes Pam look bad as a character since this makes her come off as being possessive of Lonnie when they're not at all a couple. Lonnie is single so he should be allowed to interact with other women.

If she's upset because she takes Lonnie singing to the guests as unprofessional, I can understand that. However, her facial expressions don't indicate that all. "(Such an) Easy Question" at least gives you that context that despite Pam turning him down, she can't stand to see him being with other women. As for the song itself, I don’t like the echo effect for the middle of the sandy outdoors. I know that they didn't have the budget to really change the pre-recorded songs, but given that this is supposed to be outside, an echo effect doesn't really work. Brad meanwhile turns into a butt monkey by having his food dumped on him once Stanley stands up. I genuinely feel bad for him because even though he is jealous of Lonnie, he so far hasn't done anything that would deserve this level of punishment.

Even the next day he can't catch a break as a woman he tries to help learn to swim, laps the pool when she sees Lonnie. He gets so upset he hits his hand against the concrete border of the pool. We get "Dirty, Dirty Feeling" as he works in the stables. Once again it doesn’t match the outdoor scenery. It’s actually very distracting to hear a 50s sound coming out of a 60s Elvis. If anything I'm very confused on how he's able to sing so that the entire ranch can hear him. It's not clear just how big or small this place is since it shouldn't seem possible that his voice can carry that far at that same level of clarity.

Lonnie gets in trouble with the other workers because the guests are so distracted by him. Lonnie isn’t doing anything wrong though as he doesn’t intend to interrupt everything. Meanwhile I'm very distracted by how this painting in the background was allowed to stay up since it's clearly a bunch of nude women. I have no idea how no one noticed that since it appears in multiple shots where you can clearly see the whole thing uncovered.

The women all seem to love him despite the fact that he doesn’t seem interested in any of them beyond a professional relationship. As he should since he doesn’t plan on sticking around and it’d be unprofessional of him otherwise. Pam meanwhile goes on this long spiel about how she's figured him out as being this playboy looking for a "millionaire divorcee" and quite frankly she's unlikeable. Lonnie in the audience's eyes hasn't done anything to suggest that and it's unfair of her to think that.

Even when she tries to catch him in a "gotcha" moment, it just feels weird of her to do this. She's not his boss nor his girlfriend, so it's not her job to police his actions. The audience clearly sees that Lonnie isn't the one making these advances and because this is the 60s men aren't allowed to say no yet. It makes you wonder what on earth Pam's doing with her life when she should be working. She makes an innuendo that Vera would "give him an A for effort" and you just feel a little gross because she's making it off like this is his fault. Sexy sax music playing when Vera makes her advances on Lonnie also feels gross given the concept of a workplace relationship between a boss and their employee has become a very problematic issue given the unequal power dynamics that come from it.

We get actual tension with a fight scene that in real life would’ve been genuinely dangerous. Lonnie had full reason to help her when she screamed even though we get a comedic moment of Pam hitting Lonnie by accident. The attacker immediately runs away as Lonnie's knocked silly. We find out it was because the guy was trying to find where her grandfather hid some money and the deputy sheriff advises her to lock all her doors and windows. It's not at all suspicious for the deputy sheriff to blame her for poking around abandoned buildings when she says she's entitled to any money that he left behind. I have no idea how this is such a mystery in their part of the world given that this is a ranch and a small town. The list of suspects shouldn't be astronomically high for anyone to not be able to figure this out. It's almost as if we're not supposed to know who did it until it's the perfect moment or something.

The next day, some men watch Stanley trying to look for footprints only to realize they're his own. Classic Shemp Howard moment. I have no idea who these two guys are but surely they'll have more to do in this movie right? Lonnie accidentally throws water on Brad and of course Brad gets upset. A fight breaks out as somehow all the women know to be there at that exact moment. Lonnie quickly wins and Pam appears out of nowhere to tell him off despite Lonnie literally doing nothing wrong. In an act of karmic justice to prove women are not immune from slapstick in this world, she gets her foot stuck in a bucket and instead of taking the L she keeps walking with it on.

When Lonnie sees her go off on her own, he follows her to an abandoned building. I understand that Pam wants to prove that "she's a big girl", but going to an abandoned building without even telling anyone is just stupid. Especially when you just got attacked not even a day ago by people who want to steal your grandfather's gold. Lonnie following her doesn't even prove that he loves her since he was there when she got attacked. His actions more indicate that he's a good coworker who doesn't want to have Pam make a stupid decision that'll get her killed. It's not as if the letter she's got is all that helpful since we see what's said.

We get exposition that her grandfather once owned the biggest mine in the area, a fantasy scene about the building once being a saloon from the 1800s and an audio change makes me think they used ADR for Pam and Lonnie's lines. This whole scene feels like a love letter to the Shemp era westerns with the jokes that they use, down to the editing techniques they used when Lonnie threw his hat. "Put the Blame on Me" had a similar echo effect, but to me it's fine given that it's a fantasy sequence even though this is also unnecessary filler. We fade back and Pam’s laugh in response to the donkey braying at their almost out of nowhere kiss sounded so fake in what feels like another instance of ADR. I have no idea how we're supposed to believe that now Pam likes her.

We get the luau and apparently Lonnie and Pam are together. I think on paper they wanted to convey that they did like each other and she was playing hard to get, but Lonnie meeting up with her at the abandoned saloon really isn't enough to make her suddenly love him. The Dabney's are upset when one of the female clients tries to steal their chicken because she’s starving. I thought it was funny how she tried to grab more food only to jab Mrs. Dabney. To try to appease them, the boss has Lonnie sing and entertain the guests. "I'm Yours" at least fits with the luau setting so I don't mind the vocal effects this time. In fact it's actually a very sweet song.

Meanwhile Pam almost gets kidnapped again and if I was Vera I'd be seriously considering upping security with how this could impact the other guests. If you have an all girl ranch meant to cater to models/actresses, you need to have security measures in place if it's going to be in the middle of the desert. Lonnie and Stanley try to save Pam and once again she tries to help only to hurt Lonnie. The deputy sheriff goes to find the men only to have an actually shocking twist that he’s in on it. Surprisingly we don't see the two lackeys meant to help him almost as if that's not meant to be revealed until later. Pam and Lonnie read the letter and based on what we see this time I don't get why they're struggling with it. It clearly says you have to pull the crowbar straight toward you to get the money out. Granted the diagram showing the wall isn't all that helpful.

It’s the next day and Lonnie sings "Night Rider" and I have no idea why. This feels like nothing but filler since it comes out of nowhere and is quickly forgotten like it never happened. This should've been the opening song since it clearly doesn't fit here. You could cut right to one of his coworkers wanting him to talk to Vera. At least we don’t have an echo effect on this song.

Vera again tries to hit on him while he tries to turn her down. This is so gross to watch and even Elvis looks at the camera like this is wrong. Lonnie kisses her despite being in a relationship and you got to wonder why he would do that. It isn't as if Vera force herself on him because Lonnie willingly kisses her again. Pam is rightfully upset as she sees Lonnie kiss their boss and for once I'm on her side. Lonnie was in a relationship with her and knowingly kissed Vera back. I know it's a cliche to make it be a misunderstanding but I genuinely would rather have that be the case than to watch Lonnie do this only to try apologizing like he made a mistake.

"I Feel That I've Known You Forever" is surprisingly haunting for a ballad. Him going to every window is so weird and you question why Pam is just as defenseless as before. If she was attacked twice, why would no one think to put some security around her house. This. is meant to be private property so Vera should be able to afford that expense. Pam of course breaks things off and Lonnie just quits the ranch offscreen.

Lonnie joins the rodeo and Pam rightfully doesn’t want to speak to him. If only Pam wasn't so unlikeable in the beginning where we can at least laugh at Lonnie's misfortune. We get a ghostly sound of Pam hearing Lonnie's voice which is pretty spooky. I get that she's meant to struggle with missing him or hating him, but based on the montage of Lonnie calling her for four months only for her to hang up, I don't think it was well executed at all. Stanley somehow knew where to find Lonnie despite not having any update. Lonnie is so down bad for Pam that even though he'd write to her, even his letters were rejected. At this point, I would assume the relationship is over. Four months is long enough to think that she's no longer interested. Stanley meanwhile convinces him that Pam is really playing hard to get and that he should tell her off.

As soon as they get there she drives away. They chase after her and they all think about each other’s relationship. They finally stop at a ghost town when it starts to rain. Lonnie spanks her and I hate it. It doesn't fit with the style of slapstick violence we've seen. The writers don't spare women in their works from getting exposed to slapstick so to me I would've had this be a slap fight until Pam realizes that Lonnie does care about her as someone who's more than just a coworker. That way we get a genuine moment of chemistry between the two.

They end up in an abandoned hotel while it’s raining and keep getting spooked by the storm. It's surprisingly light outside for what's supposed to be a monsoon level storm. We get 3 stooges antics where Stanley keeps getting punched by someone through a hidden door. Even Pam gets scared to the point of screaming bloody murder. This is where the movie turns into a horror film as you feel a level of suspense and upcoming danger. Of course it's still humorous by making Lonnie the straight man and by having Pam make the dumb decision to turn the light off when she's clearly afraid of someone breaking into her room. Since no one is getting hurt, it still keeps the tone light for Lonnie to not believe anything's wrong.

We see guys in masks very akin to some 3 stooges shorts which might also act as a Scooby Doo predecessor. The guy in the wolf mask I'm amazed would even want to be outside in this bad weather. Stanley's very much a tribute to Shemp Howard. Seeing him get spooked by both the guys in masks and Lonnie is something I've seen Shemp do. Lonnie being the straight man by not seeing what Stanley saw adds to it because if you just replace them with Moe and Shemp you'd get the same results and it would still be funny. That's a sign that Elvis clearly understood how to convey that style of comedy. It's actually creative at how some of them even got inside since it's not like anyone knew Pam would be going to that hotel. When one of them gets into her room, Pam, for someone who can take cares of herself, doesn't fight back and instead faints allowing him to steal the letter.

Lonnie of course saves the day in an Elvis vehicle style fight scene. We get the reveal that some of the male staff at the ranch were in cahoots with the deputy sheriff. I don't think this twist was executed well because looking back at previous attempts to capture her, you can't help but raise an eyebrow at how she didn't seem to recognize her coworkers earlier. Sure they had their faces covered but we see how staff wise, it's not that big of a ranch for her to have never met them. Lonnie grabbing the knife only to have the handle come off is hilarious. When the man charges him he opens the door only to reveal nothing on the other side. I genuinely wonder what the purpose of that door was since this is meant to be a restored hotel or if it was just magicked into existence by the writers only to then disappear when it wasn't needed. Stanley falls into the storm shelter in a way that in real life I'm amazed didn't kill him since landing on old wooden furniture wouldn't have softened the fall. When they go to get him, they find a suitcase with Pam's grandpa’s initials on it. Stanley pulls the crowbar out trying to open the suitcase and despite the letter clearly saying that's what you need to do, everyone's shocked to see gold coming out of the wall. Why would they even think it's in a suitcase if grandpa specifically made a diagram of the wall?

The deputy sheriff arrives and they find out he was the mastermind. Lonnie beats him in a fight after the running gag of Pam trying to hit his opponent finally works in his favor. I'm genuinely amazed that he was able to do that since Lonnie's an otherwise normal guy and policemen even in a small town would've had some type of training in physical combat. Brad shows up because Vera somehow knew Pam would be at this hotel and surprisingly had absolutely nothing to do with the deputy sheriff's scheme. It turns out that the two men Stanley was talking to earlier were the same guys trying to kidnap Pam. I'm amazed that we got a rare twist hero in the sense that on first watch you thought for sure that he would try to at least kill Lonnie. The only thing I don't get is what he talking to the cook about when almost Pam got kidnapped since Adolph was part of it too. At least include a line for Brad to explain what they talked about since that's a loose end that was never addressed.

Lonnie and Pam end up getting back together and eventually get married at the ranch. This romance felt so underwhelming and you can tell the writers aren't used to playing it straight. I'm not sure if it's the script or Elvis not having the chemistry with Jocelyn but I just don't see these two getting married. Even though Vera was so into Lonnie, she's apparently not at all upset to see them get married and you just wonder what the point of her making passes at Lonnie was. Nothing changed on her end to suggest she's over him or that she even felt sorry for partially ruining his relationship with Pam for many months. We end with "Slowly But Surely" while Stanley’s getting dragged behind in a wash tub. The lyrics actually fit Lonnie's perspective of trying to win Pam back. Why he's singing this when they're already married is an odd choice, but hey it's been almost a half hour since Elvis' last song so we need to end on one. The rear screen projection is so blatant by having Stanley appear in the rear angle shots but then have him be nowhere to be seen when Lonnie sings. A strange joke to end on as they drive off into the proverbial sunset.

I'm very on the fence with this movie. On the comedy side, this movie is a complete success. Ullman and Bernds were masters of their craft regarding slapstick comedy and Elvis fit into that style well by having him play the straight man. Where they fall flat is the romance as I feel like they were told an Elvis movie has to have a romance so they only added one as an afterthought since an Elvis vehicle romance was never really their style. I wish that the other workers who helped the deputy sheriff had the same level of development Brad had it makes their reveal a little more shocking that Brad was friends with them yet still wasn't part of it.

My rating will likely change next time you ask me but for now it's a 7/10. At this time I don't think the comedy and Brad being the twist hero was enough to overcome a boring romance and awful song placement. If you had simply cut out a lot of songs and use that time to develop the side characters, I think this would've been a great movie. For a movie that really only had $750k to work with, I think they did a great job in capturing that western vibe yet also showcase other parts of the country with the rodeo scene in Phoenix. If you're a 3 Stooges fan that really loves the Shemp Howard era, I highly recommend giving it a watch. Even if you're not, I still think this movie is worth watching as it shows what Elvis could've been if the focus was more on physical slapstick comedy. After all, even Moe got hurt sometimes.

Tagging: @vintagepresley, @kawaiiwitchy, @mercsandmonsters, @jhoneybees, @thetaoofzoe,

@nicferg068, @lycan61-blog, @wildhorseinkansas, @hooked-on-elvis, @thelonelyheart,

@almightybigbrain, @i-r-i-n-a-a, @cherrycolaride, @stickysteve1388, @xs4lvtore,

@urbeatlemaniac, @eapep, @peaceloveelvis, @arrolyn1114, @smokeymountainboy,

@jupiterssparkles, @ssinnerplazahotel, @lilmisspeaches, @getyourpresleyfix, @an-americcan-trilogy,

@atleastpleasetelephone, @halieghhh, @tacozebra051, @xanatenshi and @bonjovipresley.

[breoasis]

zeldaposting: mentioning some of my favorite aspects/details of twilight princess in order to forget about the absolute worst take about the game i just saw:

(names of people and places are from the spanish version because i refuse to look up every name in english like it's the real and only valid version of the game)

-At the start of the game Link is just a normal guy, unlike most other games where he's either the Hero™, a knight™, or a guy with literally no background story whatsoever. He's a farmer, he works at the goat ranch alongside Braulio (i don't think it is ever stated in the game if Link also owns the goats or if he's just helping), he owns a horse which helps him herd the goats and carry things (we see Link and Ivan's father at the start of the game coming back from the forest with Epona carrying lots of wood on her back)... We can also safely assume that he lives by himself in the treehouse, as they never mention any family members and every other family in the village has their own house. So there's a background story, TP Link has friends and work to do in the village, he's not a main character just hanging around waiting for the plot to happen. Plus he's never been to Hyrule which i think is funny.

-The pictures inside the houses are very cute. Link has pictures of Braulio, the goats, his horse and the young kids of the village, Bea's mother (i don't remember her name) has pictures of her daughter and her kitty cat in her shop, and the girl who works at the fishing pond has pictures of family members and herself with different fish they caught. Idk it feels very human to me. It also means that they either have cameras or someone in Hyrule is very good at drawing lol

-There's so many human casualties after the twilight realm "consumes" Hyrule, instead of everyone being okay after a monster attack like in many other Zelda games. Kakariko village is completely destroyed, only 3 people survived, and they mention some of the people who are supposed to be dead (by the dialogue it is implied that they got transformed into shadow beasts which Link had to kill later). The Zora queen's ghost tells Link that the monsters executed her to send a message to her people or something like that. If you come back to Ordon village after becoming human again for the first time, Ivan's father is resting on the sofa of his house covered in bloody bandages.

-The fact that not everyone has pointy ears, like, there's so many characters with normal human ears, i think it's a nice detail. The wikis like to use that line in OoT about "hylians having long ears in order to hear the gods" or something like that to state that Hylians are a different thing from common humans, but honestly, i like to believe that it is the same thing as having a bigger or smaller nose or whatever, just genetics. Also, there's a bunch of characters whose ear shapes change from one game to another so i don't think it is that deep honestly....

-You can PET THE GOATS and pick up the cats and dogs, also play fetch with the dogs in town....... very cute,, game of the century

[bloodycassian]

FILTH!! - Reader x bat boys. rhysand x cassian x azriel x reader18+ NSFW! !!!NSFW!!

go to the ******** for just the dirty stuff.

Reader is a sex worker, threesome/foursome, DP, light bondage, ‘toys’ aka shadow play?? 

Need warred with fear in the pit of your stomach. The scent of males blowing through your open window was cut off sharply as soon as you’d woken in your heat, but the smell still lingered. It was a choking thing, torturing and setting your pussy dripping with every step through your apartment. You went around, lighting candles, fanning yourself to ease the discomfort the summer air brought into your home. 

You’d woken early, while the sun was setting before your shift. The pleasure house would be one worker short tonight, it seemed. Your fingers trailed to your waistband, then lower. Palming your mound of sensitive flesh. Even through the clothes, you could feel the extra warmth your body radiated there. Your mind worked slowly through the haze of hormones. On one hand, you could make an absolute killing tonight at the brothel, but on the other lurked danger. 

In Adrata, sex work was embraced just as any other court tradition was. Not only did it make the city calmer, but it kept the population of the court steady if an Alpha and Omega found mates in each other. It was an economic business. And you worked at one of the busiest of them. 

Deep in the coastal row of homes and food shops was the small, unnoticeable building where you worked. Some nights were filled with the stench of fish and the sea, but most were full of the spicy tang of Alpha sex, along with a salty breeze coming in from the ocean. 

Tonight -and until your cycle ended- could make rent three times over. The only downside to the idea was potentially finding a mate. Since your last partner had decided that their royal duties were more important than being with you any longer, you’d felt scorned. Aliksos had been a spoiled, royal asshole the moment you’d met them, and so had their parents. You blamed yourself, really. Thinking that the child of court advisors would want to spend the rest of their lives with you was quite frankly, out of touch. 

So the idea of finding someone who could see themselves living with you like Aliksos had been was… repulsive. They hadn’t been your mate, but any form of relationship right now sounded outlandish. 

The lace in your hands glittered in your soft faelight. It’d been a gift from them, one that made up for a massive fight over the dishes not being done. 

What better way to get rid of it than having some greedy alpha pay you too much to rip it off? 

Smiling, you dressed yourself and pulled a long coat over your skimpy clothes before heading out the door. 

+

The brothel wasn’t too far away, thankfully. The bouncers, Marcis and Kalus - two omega males with skin like seal coats - parted the way, and guided you to the back rooms where you could prepare for your night. “You’ve just made us the busiest guardsmen in all Adrata.” Marcis chided when you began removing your coat. It was a thin thing, reaching to your mid calves. More of a slip really, meant to cover your scent while you walked to work. 

“You’re welcome.” You smiled. “I’m your job security, don’t be so upset.” 

“I’ve already got Kenna’s approval to set a house limit, so don't make any promises to anyone.” Kenna was the owner and manager of the house, her rules were strict and well known throughout the city. Her fury and blood oaths were even more renowned. You were proud to have her accept you into her space, and grateful that her rule protected you from smaller, less accepting pleasure houses that would demand half rate pay for you renting their space. 

While sex work was allowed in Adrata, it didn’t mean that the crown didn’t take it’s own share of coin. Pleasure houses had to be approved by the council before opening, and any significant amount of work done without paying the high lord’s tithe could result in trouble in a royal cell. 

Plus, you didn’t have to search for clientele if you had a space. 

The alphas would find you, if they really needed it. 

Like the one that now paid you triple to use your feet on his cock. He finished quickly, at least. 

The next customer was actually a set of three. Normally, two was your limit. Having too many alphas in one room could get dangerous quickly, and where was the fun in that? But the third of this group had requested only to watch. With the amount of gold marks they were bringing in, you had expected them to demand a private show at their place of choosing, but you were pleasantly surprised when the largest of the three strolled in with a full cup of mead in hand, obviously ready to stay a while.

His chin length curls were pulled back in the front, revealing rounded ears that led you to glance at his wings. An Illyrian in Adrata wasn’t unheard of, but in your years of living in the city, he’d been the only one you’d actually seen. 

Aside from the other one that stepped through the door behind him, his hair shorter but just as curly and dark. Immediately the room was flooded with their alpha scent. One of them was already aroused, the sharp scent of sweat mixing together to compliment each other. They could have been related, if it weren’t for their face shapes. While both breathtakingly gorgeous, they had a air of danger to them. You wrote it off as your instincts warning you of two alphas, but there was something else there, too.

They shared the same hooded, hazel eyes and full bottom lips, but where the long haired one had high cheekbones and wide features, the other Illyrian was more sharp looking. Dangerously androgynist, almost. If it weren’t for his obvious male build you could have mistaken his blatantly pretty features for a female. 

Then, the third pushed the two forward and shut the door behind him, cutting off the sounds of heavy breathing and rousing music. 

He looked strangely familiar, like you knew him from a distant memory. His dark skin tone was the same as the others, but his ears were pointed, eyes violet and wild. He raised a tattooed hand, showing a satchel of gold waiting for you. He inhaled deeply, his eyes fluttering as he took in your heated scent. 

The room darkened slightly, the faelight quivering closer to the ceiling. The other two males parted for the last, allowing him to speak for them. 

“Sweet Omega…” He took your hand in one of his and set the satchel into it. “I’ve heard good things about you.” Something flashed into your mind, something that you didn’t recall. It was like imagining a book, or looking at someone else’s painting. It was too jarring of a memory to even understand what it was of. 

You stepped backwards, paling slightly. Realization struck you the moment your mind was allowed to see again. This wasn’t just anyone willing to pay this much for your services. These three were the Royals of the Night court. Your head went dizzy.

Rhysand, you finally remembered his name. Rhysand, The undisputed most powerful high lord in all of Prythian stood before you. Aside him were his allies, and males you thought he only shared a surface level connection with. The Trinity. You’d heard stories of them, distantly in your travels but you’d not understood how striking they would be in person. “I hope your cunt does not disappoint.” His voice was a purr, like honey ready to stick to whatever it touched. 

“I think Az is ready for any cunt, Rhys.” The long haired one said, wrapping an arm around the other. Azriel. That made him Cassian, the prince of bastards. You’d heard most of him in your youth, learning that even the most lowborn could achieve greatness. 

Azriel, the shadowsinger palmed himself through his tight trousers. His jaw was set, and he looked at you through his lashes. A male ready to pounce. 

“I haven’t agreed to anything yet, Cassian.” You emphasized his name, hoping that it would get their attention. you knew just who they were now. The power was equal, in this room. They could follow the rules or get the Hel out. 

Cassian chomped his teeth together playfully, making a loud clack that had a tremble running up your spine. He had no idea what he’d just started. You would devour him in an instant if he were alone. Your insides burned at the action though,, igniting from the knowledge that not just one of them, but all three of them wanted you. Three powerful, rich Illyrians that ruled an entire court by themselves. 

Financially, and status wise you couldn’t say no. 

Many palaces had their own pleasure rooms for royals to use whenever they needed entertainment. These positions usually garnered not only incredibly wealth, but also power in their court. 

“I’m surprised a high lord doesn’t have his own Omega to tote around everywhere. Unless he uses you two-” You were cut off by Cassian’s booming laugh. Rhysand’s grin was toothy and amused. Azriel’s devilish smirk was knowing and heated. 

“They aren’t used in that sense…” Rhysand stepped forward, his shoes disappearing from his feet. He circled around you, while the others grew closer. Cassian was the first to begin unbuttoning his shirt, taking a steadying breath and reveling in your scent. Azriel remained still, observing every twitch, every tiny movement you made. Your eyes followed the cascade of shadows coming from him, noting the long arms that extended from the edge of the blackness surrounding him.

************

Your breathing hitched when Rhysand’s voice dropped to a whisper, right by your ear. “But you can use them as you wish, tonight.” Your heart was surely audible to them at this point. You turned to face him, and were immediately caught in a warm kiss that shattered any remaining restraint you had against this. 

You curled to the high lord, body melding to his when his hands went to your waist. His tongue darted over your lower lip, testing, teasing. You groaned against him, and caught his loose shirt in your hands, ripping it off,  the buttons pattering against the floor. 

He kneaded you, stroked his large hands over the expanse of your body, reveling in every inch of of you. Then, Cassian was behind you. His warmth unmistakable as he unclasped your top. Not exactly the fierce way you were expecting an Alpha to handle such a stringy thing, but his hands replaced the spot where the covering had been. Rhysand stepped back, to your dismay. He watched as Cassian palmed your breasts, rolling each of your nipples between his thick fingers. You let out a cry, hands scrambling back to grab on to him, to return the favor… 

Your back arched against him, and you ground down against the length you could feel bulging against his trousers. The heat that flooded you before was nothing in comparison to the gush of wetness that seeped you now. Rhysand resigned himself to the chair in the corner, and with a wave of his hand he was fully naked. Power shuddered through the room, making goosebumps line your flesh. He watched as Cassian used you, and began stroking himself at the sight. 

Cassian’s hand drifted from one of your breasts to your inner thigh, then slowly moved over your mound, cupping your pussy lightly. He hummed in approval, and bit softly at your ear. “Nice and wet for us..” He muttered. A sigh escaped you, hips desperately attempting to rock into his hand, needing the friction. Needing something to pay attention to your aching cunt. “What do you think Az?” 

He turned you slowly, feet shuffling to face the door, and the other two. Fully on display for both the dark haired males. Azriel palmed himself through a pair of tight shorts, the rest of his body bare. His muscles flexed, and he gave himself a pump once you faced him. You squirmed into Cassians hand again, breathy pants coming from your lips. Having two of them watch you was… intoxicating. Your body felt like a wire about to snap, ready to break and bend for these males. 

“Take off the panties and we’ll be able to tell better.” The shadowsinger’s raspy voice had you quickly obeying, Cassian stepping back while you eagerly tugged the soaked panties down and kicked them towards Azriel. Cassian’s low curse made a shiver run over your body as you stood back up, reveling in the feeling of being free - being open and ready for whatever male to use you. 

Azriel’s eyes appraised you slowly, then darted to Cassian. Some kind of silent communication was had, and Cassian was pulling you backwards, with him on to the bed. You fell into his lap, but he quickly adjusted you. Spreading your legs over the tops of his thighs and lining his cock up with your dripping slit. You gasped at the heat of his length pressing over your pussy lips, and groaned further when he thrust over you, coating his cock in your juices. Azriel approached, his eyes locked on to Cassian’s hardness stroking over you. 

“Nice and wet indeed.” He hummed, stroking himself as he watched. A bead of precome appeared at his tip, and he drew it down over his shaft, lubricating himself. One of his hands braced on your knee, stroking in time with Cassian’s thrusts. His hands were colder than Cassian’s, and with his presence he brought a curtain of darkness that had you forgetting about Rhysand in the corner. 

Azriel leaned down in a swoop, and caught your mouth with his. His tongue tangled with yours, teeth biting into your lower lip when you groaned. His fingers tangled in your hair, and you thought he’d rip you from Cassian’s grasp and take you for himself… but he only tugged your face closer. Crushing your lips to his as Cassian’s thrusts slowed. They became more intent, pushing against your clit at the end of every stroke.

You arched and bucked against Cassian, trying to get him to stop teasing you. You wanted him. You wanted them both. 

“Impatient are we?” you could hear the smirk on Cassian’s mouth and wished very much that you could sink your teeth into him at the moment. But you only had Azriel’s lips, so you thrust your hips down when Cassian lifted you, earning a hiss from him when his cock delved into your entrance. “Fuck-” He growled, and Azriel pulled away, watching Cassian take a moment with the head of his cock inside you. 

“Give the girl what she wants.” Rhys’s voice was smooth, but his cheeks flushed. Azriel tipped his head and  went to his knees before you, and you felt Cassian’s cock surge. You cried out, he slipped futher inside. Azriel’s tongue lapped over your clit suddenly, and your walls clenched around Cassian’s girth. The shadowsinger hummed, satisfied with his work as his saliva coated Cassian.  Inch by stretching inch he filled you, easily one of the most satisfying cocks you’d had. Thick and proud, he worked his way inside you until you swore you’d been stretched to your limit.

Fully seated, Cassian palmed your breasts again, allowing you a moment to feel everything. The way his full cock throbbed inside you, how Azriel’s tongue played over your clit lightly, so you wouldn’t come right then and there, Rhysand’s watching gaze. Your heart hammered as you wiggled against him, desperately wanting - needing more. “Gonna fill that greedy cunt of yours.” He muttered, pulling out and sliding you back down his shaft with ease. 

Azriel pulled away, letting Cassian fuck you in earnest while he watched. His hands played lightly over his cock, and you wondered just how much pleasure he was getting out of it until you saw the edges of shadow moving… the long arms of them curled tightly around him, one darker area circling around his thigh, then…. Gods- Over his cock, stroking in time with his hand. “Such a good Omega- so needy of a good cock-” Cassian muttered obscenities' while you watched Azriel’s shadows fondle him. His eyes never left your body, until he noticed you staring at the trail of shadow. 

“Like what you see?” He let his hand drop to your knees again, and you desperately wished he were fucking you as well. Though his hand had left, the shadow still worked his length, curling different ways occasionally while keeping rhythm. But watching how the tentacle like shadow stroked him was… incredibly hot. 

“You… control them?” You panted Cassian’s pace slowing as you spoke. 

“I can.” He confirmed, and Cassian unexpectedly pulled himself from your wetness, earning a protest from you. “You’re going to make me come, I’m here to enjoy you.” He said. You didn’t doubt his words, but the loss of his magnificent cock was something to mourn. The tip of him slotted against your ass, and you gasped. “Oh… you like that?” His cock twitched and you nodded. You’d taken ass play at times, but it wasn’t a regular occurrence for you. You definitely wouldn’t be able to take his girth. “Az has the best cock for it, if youre-”

“Yes.” You groaned, needing something to fill your aching pussy. Cassian grinned, and helped you flip over to face him. He caught you in a kiss much softer than Azriel’s and pushed his head back into your folds, staying put while Azriel got on to the bed. There was a coolness trailing up your leg, then around the back of your knee and thigh, where it pulled apart your legs slightly more. The force of it was surprising, as if you’d been pulled by an eager male. It circled over your pussy slowly, playing around where you and Cassian were connected, making you slide further onto his shaft. You both groaned into each other’s mouths, the snaking tendril circling and circling until Cassian broke away to force Azriel forward. 

The shadowsinger leaned over your back, and smiled as Cassian lurched upward and caught his lips. They kissed for a moment, and it was like watching fire meet desolate cold. Where Cassian was heated, yearning for more - needing Azriel’s touch - Azriel was fog and mist, evasive and teasing around Cassian’s needs. 

The shadow around you and Cassian tightened, then slithered away - going up to your waiting ass. Azriel’s hand was there too, slowly working you in tandem with the shadow pet that he kept. You wondered just how often he’d done this, if it was reserved for anything special or if it was every time. Because he seemed very.. Very good at it.

The pressure and sense of fullness swept through you, and Cassian’s head went back as your walls squeezed around him again. “So fucking tight-” He gritted out, and bucked into you for a few strokes before Azriel’s thighs were pressing to the backs of yours. Cassian grinned and pulled his cock free of you, his hand going to wrap around both his and Azriels, rubbing them together. Sharing your slick. 

“You’re torturing her.” Rhys bit out with a crooked smile, devilishly toying with himself in the corner. 

You tugged at Cassian’s hair, pulling his eyes back to you. “I can’t help but agree with him.” You breathed. The warrior took a moment, looking into your eyes - “Are you sure…” He nodded behind you, towards Azriel. Fed up and needy, you reached between you, took his cock and aimed it for your entrance, sliding down on Cassian in one fluid stroke. His toes cracked and popped, the breath leaving him a moment while he tried his damnedst not to come undone right then and there. 

Azriel’s cock brushed against your backside, a silent request. You arched your back, parting yourself for him. Your slick was heavy enough that he slid in with ease, slowly. Allowing you to adjust to him. You thought you’d burst. Your senses were unfocused, and you laid face to sheet, allowing the two to have their way with you. Rhysand’s grin slowly morphed into something more hungry, while he watched you watch him. He put on more of a show, stroking and pulling at the same pace of the other two. 

He must have had a bit of precome leak from his tip, because he tapped at it and brought it to his lips, swiping the saltiness from his finger. That got your attention. The two slowly thrusting into you groaned in unison. You pushed yourself up slightly, breasts going into Cassian’s face, where he licked and nipped at your flesh. “Get over here.” You ordered to the high lord. Your voice was surprisingly deep, rough with the dryness from so much moaning. 

He cocked his head to the side, as if wondering if he should grant you your demand. He was the high lord, after all. But he was here, in a brothel that you were presently one of the highest earners. “And that must be for good reason.” The presence in your head whispered. You weren’t quiet sure if it was your own thought or…. You glared at him, guessing that he’d heard every thought that had gone through your head. 

He finally rose, and brought his sculpted form to the side of the bed. His cock pulsed, dripping another bead of precome now that he saw what a mess his friends were making of you. The feeling of fullness was making you ache, making you yearn for the release that you’d been on the edge of since Azriel began working you. 

“Your pleasure is unimaginable. I enjoy it.” Rhysand leaned down and kissed you briefly, then stood and stroked his cock in front of your lips. You took him your mouth greedily, finally somewhat sated with being completely fully. Pleasuring all three of them. 

Azriel was still moving slowly, in and out of you while Cassian kept a faster pace that rubbed through your inner walls, pressing into Azriel. Feeling both of them inside you, pushing and pulling, especially when Azriel pulled your arms behind you and held you steady while you sucked Rhysand’s velvety length… it was enough.

You didn’t fall into the shaking pleasure of orgasm as much as you were pushed into it, unable to control how your body shuddered and wrapped around the males. It pushed you over the edge and sent you moaning loudly, unchecked around the high lord. He pulled out of your mouth, and you bit into Cassian’s shoulder instead. Trying to drown out the scream that was building inside you. As your orgasm washed over your body. 

Your walls squeezed both the males still inside you, and Cassian grunted, his breathy pants becoming labored as he pulled out, his come spurting over your ass. His body still thrusted upward, rubbing against the side of Azriel’s cock still inside you. Wave after wave of pleasure eroded your thought, the only thing still in your mind the feeling of Azrie’s perfect cock inside you, and the cool shadow that now circled your pussy, priming you for another orgasm. 

You didn’t notice that Rhysand had made his release as well, until you attempted to return to him and noticed he was wiping his stomach, circling the lines of his abs. Cassian recovered quickly, and brought his hands to your arms, just below your shoulders. He held you up with ease, his eyes daring you to complain at the change of angle. 

Azriel grunted in approval, and a cool tentacle of shadow curled it’s way around your body, wrapping around your waist and going to your throat, the end of it whispering beside your ear. “I’m going to make a mess of you.” It was distinctly Azriel’s voice, but echoed and other worldly. “I’m going to fuck you until you scream. Until you put a bruise on Cassian’s chest that stays for the next week.” His hands then gripped your hips, and he pulled you back, your ass slapping against his hips. “Bite him, claw at him. Whatever you need, he can take it.” He started fucking you quickly, his hips snapping over and over, pounding you down but his shadows and Cassian were  there to hold you up.

Another cool shadow came around, this one felt larger. It went to the folds of your spent pussy, nudging at your entrance. Mother above- You thought, but angled yourself slightly towards it. Azriel seemed to understand, and pushed it inwards. If Cassian had been full… this was perfection. “Good girl. Such a good girl.” The shadow voice whispered.

It molded to you, filling every inch of your insides with it’s cool presence. It entered you and stayed a moment, allowing you to adjust to it. Perhaps it was adjusting to you as well. Then, a pulsing feeling ran through it. It started slowly, so subtle you thought it may have been nothing. But as Azriel fucked you, it grew more prominent. Your eyes went wide as it brushed over your g-spot with pressure that almost had you coming again. 

Your eyes met Cassian’s and his grin told you that he knew exactly what was going on.

Another shadow began circling your clit again, and you thought you may never be sick of this. For Cauldron’s sake you should be paying them for this. Azriel grunted and a hand slapped over your cheek, stinging in a sweet way. The pulsing grew more and more, like a drum beat building to a final crescendo. “You’re going to come on me. All of me.” With those final, echoing words, the shadow inside of you set off on a punishing pace. The pressure built to more than just full. You gasped, heart hammering, hands attempting to reach or hold on to anything to anchor you. Your thighs quivered, and the shadow circling your clit sped up. It was too much. So much. With a cry that sounded like breaking, you came again.

Normally, the first orgasm was the most intense. The best in a round of them. But this was an ungodly mixture of so many different stimulation points… you felt as if you were seizing and unable to stop. You went breathless and silent for a few moments, body shaking around Azriel. Around all of him, just as he’d said. 

Azriel’s thrusts became erratic and his nails dug into your hips, and you were ready for him.  The shadow at your ear retreated, and Cassian was there to lower you to his chest. Your hands trembled as you lay there, cunt soaked with your slick, body heaving with breath as you finally came down from the ecstasy. 

The shadows were gone, and Azriel pulled out slowly once he’d gone down in size. Then, he was there with a towel from Rhysand. They cleaned you up together, Rhysnad summoning a plate of hot towels from somewhere. He dabbed your cheeks with one, grinning the whole time. 

Once you’d garnered enough strength to hold yourself up, you were able to ask “What are you smiling about?”

He scoffed a laugh, and moved to wipe at Cassian’s forehead. “You had a thought…” He shook his head, “Do I get my gold marks back?”

+

[crevicedwelling]

my mom recently read in a novel that some larger praying mantis species have been known to kill and eat hummingbirds. I know about bird-eating tarantulas, but I was curious if you knew of other insects who prey on birds, mammals, etc.? I know most will scavenge anything, but what abt critters who hunt? the idea of insects who hunt large prey is fascinating to me

large generalist predatory insects like mantises and katydids predominantly eat other insects, but the majority of the vertebrate prey they take is probably frogs and lizards, and typically ones smaller than themselves. hummingbirds might not be too representative of typical vertebrate prey because (I believe I heard a mantis researcher say) their metabolism is so tightly wound that the stress of being caught is enough to kill them, and all the mantis has to do is hang on, which they definitely can do. still, vertebrate predation is pretty impressive for orthopterans and mantodeans, since they’ve got to do it all without venom!

army ants of various types are also famous for their ability to catch vertebrates, but most army ants are actually specialists on other social insects (ants, wasps, termites), and the few generalist predator army ants still predominantly prey on invertebrates (and don’t skeletonize cows and horses like they do in cartoons).

diving beetles will hunt fish and aquatic amphibians—there’s a reason their larvae are called “water tigers!” belostomatid water bugs are probably the most impressive aquatic vertebrate-eaters though, and use powerful venom to subdue surprisingly large fish, tadpoles, and even other vertebrates:

outside of insects, there’s a lot of spiders that can feed on herptiles, either by overpowering them with strength like huntsmen and tarantulas, or by snaring them in webs like widows, the most successful snake eaters:

plus, there’s always the famous Nephila orbweavers whose sturdy webs can catch avian prey, but this is probably a fairly rare occurrence.

going over to centipedes, giant scolopendrids are quite successful predators of vertebrates, with any species large enough likely preying on herptiles, and occasionally on some far larger than they are!

Scolopendra venom is evolved to take down large prey, so it’s no surprise they’re some of the most prolific vertebrate-eaters in the arthropod world. some very large Scolopendra (gigantea, maybe galapagoensis, viridicornis, heros) will hunt bats, sometimes by hanging to catch them in flight. other predation on mammals and birds seems to occur opportunistically, especially where the prey is helpless: S. galapagoensis was recorded feeding on baby rodents in the Galapagos; other island species like Cormocephalus coynei will feed on seabird chicks (enough with the “fluffy” avian favoritism, Nature! ‘pedes gotta eat).

oh, speaking of nestling-devouring, there’s also some freaky observations of slugs munching on soft mushy songbird babies! someone on Twitter had their nest camera record some chicks getting eaten by a large Carabus ground beetle, but I can’t find it again.

but I think the most shocking example of vertebrate predation by an invertebrate is probably Epomis, another ground beetle. as larvae, they feed on frogs far larger than they are by letting themselves get attacked, latching onto the would-be predator, and munching on it until it perishes. adult beetles also prey on amphibians, but just run them down instead of luring prey.

(there’s also video of the adult beetles preying on frogs, but they seem to all be stolen by some weird content scraper YT channels, so I’ll not post them here.)

let me know if I missed any good examples of vertebrate predation by bugs!

[cooperbutter88]

I'm seeing some other people share their mlp one piece designs so I wanna share my own here!!

I made the designs pretty simplistic- I wanted them to look like they could be background ponies inside the actual show of mlp. I also tried to make them look as show-accurate as possible!! I'll talk a bit about them under each picture, but you can just scroll through to see them all.

Starting with Luffy!

A purple earth pony! Also, I made it so all devil fruit users gain swirls on their hooves. His cutiemark is a treasure chest with some meat inside, next to his hat. (Don't... Don't think to hard on the implications of meat in the mlp world 😅)

Pegasus Zoro! Three sword style is so much easier with 6 limbs. His cutiemark is a thought bubble of three swords in the shape of a Z (to signify his constant napping) (Zoro will say it's to signify his name)

Nami is an earth pony, simply because if she was a Pegasus then her weather based attacks wouldn't be too impressive... Her cutiemark is a vine with tangerines attached, though if you look closely you see they aren't fruit, they're berri and a compass

Usopp is a unicorn with an extra long horn. I gave him some deep purple eyes that I think goes well with his coat

His cutiemark is mallet and a sling shot meld together.

Sanji is a unicorn with a slight curve of his horn. His eyes are magenta to reference his heart eyes. His cutiemark is a frying pan with four fish cooking, plus a smoke cloud that starts with a curly line that grows into a heart.

(couldn't get it to download with no background... Lame)

Chopper!!! He's a a reindeer that ate the pony pony fruit. He's smaller than the rest still, but when he transforms he either turns into a large stallion or his usual reindeer look. Also gave him some blue accents to go with his nose.

Robin! I gave her cuffed hooves, because I think it goes well with the cowboy aesthetic of Miss All Sunday

The hooves she makes with her devil fruit don't have her the swirls, but they do have the same cuffed look

Her cutiemark is a book, that also appears to look like a poneglyph (pony glyph?)

Super franky! Another unicorn, though he lost his horn in the train crash. He rebuilt it with metal but it doesn't work the same now. His different coloring represents the parts of his body rebuilt as a cyborg.

His cutiemark is a ship in a sea of cola. The top of the ship is also a hammer. The background sun also looks a bit like the sunny! I imagine he was a late bloomer of his mark, getting it after he recovered from the train accident.

Brook who looks honestly pretty creepy like this! I tried to replicate his goofy skeleton look but it's difficult for a pony... Anyways! I made him a Pegasus that can no longer fly (no feathers...)

His cutiemark is embroidered on his pants, a music note that's also his top hat.

...

There's all the strawhats!! If you're a fan of these designs, I actually have them all (+ another character) available as stickers on my Etsy!

They're three inches big and they stick wonderfully, I've had one on my water bottle for the past two months and it hasnt shown any signs of peeling!!