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chaoswithkaycee · 2 years ago

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Hellfire and Honeysuckle, Chapter 12 - Final Chapter

Honey

In the days and weeks that followed, Honey was happy. Not happy like she had been during summers with Aunt Lilah; no, this was happy like she had never known - or at least, didn’t remember knowing. She settled into a new schedule and routine for her days, now that the full truth was out. Every morning, she rode to school with Eddie, meeting him at her front gate for a kiss and help into the van. Every afternoon, rain or shine, snow or sleet, he brought her back home - insisting on carrying her backpack. Thursdays and Fridays were reserved for study group and Hellfire, Wednesdays for band practice, and Mondays and Tuesdays - well, she knew he was selling after he brought her home. He chose to keep her away from that.

The first week back to school was the hardest - he insisted on fully lifting her into the van instead of letting her climb up herself, and fully lifting her out instead of letting her climb down. On top of that, she was overly aware of the stares and whispers of her classmates. During her two weeks of recovery at home, she’d almost forgotten that the rest of the world didn’t know about her disability yet - Eddie knew, the Party knew, and that was world enough for her. But now, back in class, rolling around the school in her wheelchair - now she was back in the real world, and she remembered why she’d kept it a secret.

She was stopped between every class at least once by someone she’d never spoken to before telling her what an inspiration she was for just going about her life - or she was told to stop faking. People grabbed the handlebars of her wheelchair without asking to push or pull her through the halls, even when she asked them not to touch her chair. On the other end of the spectrum were the people who pretended they couldn’t see her at all - often walking in front of her and stopping so that she very nearly slammed into them, or bumping into her and not even doing so much as apologizing.

She chose not to tell the others about this aspect of wheelchair use. Mama was only making her use the chair at school for a week, and she was determined to get through the week without complaining about people. So she didn’t tell Eddie, the Party, or Mama about the unsolicited opinions on the validity of her disability, the unsought ‘help’ moving her chair, the whispering, the stares, the struggle. And when the week was up, she put her foot down with Mama; she was using the cane, not the chair.

And she did. The second week was better - she still received the verbal harassment claiming she was faking and the well meaning but ultimately insulting pathetic glances of pity from her classmates - but she had more control over her movements now. Aside from the incident where John-Michael Turney decided to grab her cane and run off in her third period class (before he was immediately reprimanded by the teacher, who returned the cane to her), her second week was a marked improvement over the first. She once again made the executive decision not to tell Eddie about the cane-snatching.

Week three was even better. The pain in her hip was more of a dull ache at this point, with an occasional lightning bolt of pain up her back - but she could walk almost completely unassisted (although she continued using the cane), and she was able to pay attention to her teachers now that the pain wasn’t so bad. Additionally, the awkwardness that had surrounded the Party had finally subsided. They had all come to terms with the fact that Honey and Eddie were a couple now - and really, no one was surprised. Honey had seen Stephanie slip a $20 to Gareth - apparently she’d won a bet against him regarding their relationship - but otherwise, they had all simply smiled and moved on with the conversation. Knowing that the next week of class would be cut short for the holidays, and that both Lucas and Dustin were going to be traveling out of state for Christmas, Eddie decided to hold their last Hellfire meeting of the calendar year that Friday. God bless Fridays, she thought, watching her boyfriend’s dramatic storytelling, building up to the reveal of the BBEG - it was the librarian, the whole time! The room filled with gasps and one squeaky “I FUCKING KNEW IT!” from Dustin. Honey just smiled, looking around the room. This was happiness. This was love.

Her favorite part of the new schedule was on Friday evenings, after Hellfire. Mama had already left for work by the time Eddie brought her home for the evening, and wouldn’t be back until after sunrise. This gave the two of them the perfect opportunity to spend an evening together once a week, and if Mama knew? Well, she never said anything to Honey about it.

Usually, they just laid together, cuddling and kissing. Honey found that she slept better with their fingers laced together, listening to his soft snores and feeling his warm breath tickle the top of her head; he, on the other hand, always seemed wide awake until the moment his head hit her pillows. He’d stretch out, take a deep breath - and before Honey could turn off the lamp, he’d be half asleep.

This night though, he sat up against her headrest, holding her in his lap, both of their lips swollen and red from kissing and nipping at each other. One hand was on her bad hip, applying pressure so it wouldn’t start hurting in her current position; the other hand was wrapped in her curls at the base of her skull, holding her face to his.

“You taste like strawberries.” He whispered against her mouth, nudging her nose with his.

She snorted, putting her hands on his chest to pull her head back and laugh. “Strawberries? Really?”

He pulled back, chuckling with her. “Yes. Like strawberries and whipped cream. Why, what do I taste like?”

“You taste like those sour candies and salt.” Seeing the face he made, she quickly added. “I like it. It reminds me of that first lunch we had together.”

He cocked his head. “How so?”

“You were eatin’ french fries and you kept lickin’ the salt off your fingers. Now when I taste the salt in your kiss, I just remember that was the first time you tried to get me to open up. Kinda feels like the start of everythin’, you know?”

She watched the smile split his face as he pulled her in for another kiss. “I can’t believe how far we’ve come.” He muttered against her lips, and she felt herself smile in unison.

“I never thought we’d be here at all.” She whispered back.

Another hour passed before he spoke again.

“So, Christmas plans?” He’d been afraid to ask, in case her plans included being away from him.

“Mama’s workin’ at the hospital all through Christmas Eve and Christmas day, so she and I are gonna do our Christmas tradition the day after. What about y'all?” She answered, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

“Uncle Wayne’s got Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off, the whole plant does. Do you want to come over to ours for Christmas?” He asked, absentmindedly rubbing circles on her lower back.

“I’d like that a lot. I don’t have gifts to bring, though.” She admitted, closing her eyes and sighing in pleasure at his touch on her back.

“That’s alright, neither do we. But we can have dinner and watch some movies, the trailer next door usually plays carols for a few hours from their stereo. And we just got a new heater so the trailer will be nice and warm.” He kissed the top of her head. “Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.” She answered, eyes still closed. “Will you take me to see fireworks too?”

“What?” She heard the confusion in his voice and sat up.

“I heard Mike talkin’ to Lucas about the New Years Eve fireworks show that Hawkins does. I thought maybe we could bring in the new year together, goin’ to see fireworks. If you’d like to, that is.”

He smiled. “As long as it’s with you. I’d sit out all night watching fireworks. Absolutely.”

Honey smiled back, laying her head on his shoulder again. “It’s a date, then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie

And that was how they’d ended up here, in the back of his van, overlooking the town. It was cold, in the single digits, but they didn’t mind. They were laying together on their sides, Honey in front of him with her back to his chest. They’d laid a quilt beneath them and wrapped multiple blankets around them to keep warm. The heat in the van still wasn’t working, but he didn’t mind. It gave him an excuse to keep her pulled against him and bury his face in her neck when the wind blew around them outside. They’d draped a blanket over the open doors of the back of his van, giving them a little window to watch the sky outside as it had slowly filled with stars over the hour that they’d sat out here, waiting. The lights of the city had gone off one by one, until only one small area was still lit up - the park where the fireworks would be set off from.

Eddie glanced at his watch for a split second. Any minute now, 1985 would end and the sky would be lit up with all the colors and noise that came with a firework show. Honey huffed and he looked down. “What?”

“Why’d you take your hand off me?” She feigned offense, pouting.

“I was checking my watch, Honey.” He laughed, nuzzling into her neck.

She giggled back. “Well I guess that’s okay then. How much longer?”

“Mm, few minutes.” He nestled down further into their tent of covers, pulling her closer to him and listening to her sigh in contentment.

She turned in his arms, so that her back was to the open van doors and she was facing him. He smiled down at her, pushing one of her curls behind her ear. For the thousandth time since the night she’d admitted her crush, he found himself marveling at where they had found themselves.

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” She whispered, turning her head to kiss his palm where it hovered over her cheek.

“Thinking about how far we’ve come.” He whispered back, still feeling her lips in the palm of his hand. He flexed his fingers, but couldn’t shake it. The ghost of her kiss sat in his palm, even as he brought his hand to rest on her cheek.

“Again?” She looked up at him, her head resting on a balled up sweater.

“Honey, I think about it damn near daily.” He answered, letting his fingers trace down her neck, over her shoulder, under the blanket and around her waist to pull her to him. “I think about how pretty you looked, walking into Hellfire. I thought you were lost, looking for a different club or room. No way such a pretty girl was into D&D.”

“Aunt Lilah bought me the player’s guide a little bit before my father found her. I hadn’t even finished readin’ it when I met you.” Honey admitted, biting her lip.

“Oh, I believe that. You were clueless. But that’s okay. I got to sit next to you and teach you, watch you smile and count on your fingers-”

“Math’s not my strongest subject, I did my best.” She pouted, pulling the blanket up to her chin as the wind blew louder outside.

He laughed. “I know, Princess. I know. And I love it. I love everything about you, even the things you don’t love about yourself, because I love you. Endlessly and unconditionally.”

And cue the tears. He could almost perfectly predict when she’d cry now, and confessions of love? Top of the list. She was looking up at him with glossy eyes and sniffling now, and he couldn’t help the fond smile.

“You laughin’ at me?” She asked, wiping her face.

“Of course not, Honey. It’s just something else I love about you.” He kissed her forehead, holding her against him. It dawned on him that in all the times he’d seen her cry, none had been out of sadness or anger. She might sniffle, her voice might wobble - but tears really only slipped out when she was happy. He wasn’t lying, either. It was something he loved so much about her, the way she couldn’t keep her love or gratitude inside and let it come out through her eyes.

She shifted against him, draping one arm over his hip. He hissed as her cold fingers made contact with his lower back, but held her arm in place when she tried to move it. He glanced at his watch again. “Two minutes to go.” He whispered, watching her face. Her teeth were chattering and she was shivering, even with all the blankets. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, just a little chilly. We can leave as soon as the fireworks are over. No point in leavin’ now, you know.” She answered, teeth clicking together as she whispered back to him.

“You got it, Princess.” He shifted, trying to share more of his body heat with her. “What’s your New Years resolution?” He asked, hoping to distract her from the chill in the air.

“Well, graduate for one. I’d like to get into the habit of takin’ daily walks, it’s supposed to help my joints stay strong. You know, just like 15 minutes a day. Um, maybe get a dog. Mama’s been talkin’ about gettin’ me a service dog.” She answered, yawning. “You?”

“Graduate next to you. Get the band famous. Get a place with you.” He answered, without thinking.

“And you wanna do all that in one year?” She asked, pressing her face into his chest.

“I’m gonna do it all eventually, regardless. But yes, the goal is as soon as possible for all of them.”

“Even the moving in together part?”

“Especially that part. I want to come home to each other from now on.” He checked his watch again. “One minute.”

Honey grunted, rolling herself over so that she was facing the open van doors again to watch the sky. Eddie pulled her back flush against him, arranging the blankets around them.

“This is gonna be your year.” She stated, tilting her head back to look at him. “I just know it. You’re gonna accomplish all your goals, you’re gonna have an amazin’ adventure. 86 is gonna be your year.”

10 seconds. “Yeah, I think you’re right.” He whispered. “This is my year. I can feel it.” He felt her jump as the first explosion of light cracked the sky. He pressed a kiss to her temple, staring at the bright red and yellow lights shimmering above. “‘86, baby.”

#eddie munson #stranger things #actually disabled #disability #ehlers danlos awareness #fanfiction #eddie munson smut #friends to lovers #plus size girl #disabled #final chapter #new years #I cant believe I did this

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starrypawz · 1 year ago

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Everytime I see a new Killstar drop it's like

#like yes im aware fast fashion but istg a couple of years ago they had more variety #and legit each drop now is like 'we made the same bellsleeve top with a slightly different neckline this time'#also doesn't help the quality also keeps going down and the prices go up #also doesn't help each drop is like 'oh we picked like... two things to make plus sized and theyre not even the stuff anyone actually wants

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dearlenore · 2 months ago

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DAUGHTER IN LAW • S.REID

SUMMARY: after Spencer gets out of jail, he is determined to find the perfect caregiver for his mother. However, to his surprise, she seems to have already found the ideal nurse herself.

PAIRING: fem!nurse!reader x spencer

tags: reader is a cutie pie, reader wears makeup, reader is flirty bombshell, mentions of schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, canon cm violence

a/n: so much medical!reader x Spencer, if you are waiting on a request please be patient! I’m trying to knock out all my drafts before writing new things🥹 love u all!!

w/c: 1.5k

“MOM, I’M HOME!” Spencer called out from the front door, tossing his keys into a bowl and his satchel onto the couch. “Mom?” His voice rose with concern when no reply came.

He moved to her room, frowning as he realized the door wasn’t fully closed. Knocking lightly, he pushed it open.

“Oh! You must be Doctor Reid?” you said with a warm smile as you stepped out.

Spencer’s hand shot instinctively toward his holster.

“Woah! Please don’t…” you stammered, raising your hands in surrender. “I’m definitely unarmed.” You let out a nervous laugh.

“Spencer!” His mother’s sharp voice cut through the tension. “Where are your manners?” She shook her head in annoyance as she appeared behind you. “She’s my new nurse — since you insisted I needed one.”

“You can’t just invite random people into my apartment!” Spencer protested.

You quickly stepped forward, balancing on your tiptoes to peek over his mother’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry,” you said sincerely. “She sort of…chased her last nurse out of the building, and I saw her outside. I figured I’d help her out. Plus, I brought groceries?” You smiled sheepishly, pointing to the bags on the counter.

Spencer narrowed his eyes at you, clearly trying to size you up. After a moment, he exhaled heavily and dropped onto the couch, burying his face in his hands.

“Sorry… I’m sorry, I just… had a long day,” he mumbled.

“I get it,” you said, sitting beside him — not too close, but close enough that your knee brushed his. “Caretaking’s no picnic either. Your mom’s been telling me all about your job.”

“She did?” Spencer’s head lifted slightly, surprise flickering in his tired eyes.

“Mhm,” you nodded. “She’s amazing — kind, patient, funny. And for someone who was in a care home just a month ago… she’s awfully aware.”

Spencer rubbed his eye and gave you a confused look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That maybe…” You paused, your smile turning a little playful. “Maybe love’s the best medicine.”

He snorted softly, the corners of his mouth quirking up. “That sounds like something from one of those feel-good hospital dramas.”

“Oh, totally,” you agreed with a grin. “But hey… if it works, it works.”

For the first time that day, Spencer’s shoulders seemed to relax. “Maybe you’re right,” he admitted.

“I usually am,” you teased. “But hey, if you’re skeptical, I could always prescribe you some fresh air — maybe a coffee run? Strictly professional recommendation, of course.”

Spencer looked up at you, and for a moment, he wondered if you were in the wrong profession. Caretaking? Really? With your warm smile, soft voice, and effortless charm — not to mention that gorgeous figure (which he tried very hard not to stare at for too long) — you seemed more like someone who belonged on a stage or in a room full of admirers.

And yet here you were, fussing over his mother with gentle patience, helping her get comfortable in her armchair. You draped a cozy blanket over her lap, making sure she had her tea close by. His mother never let anyone take care of her without a fight — but with you, she seemed calm, even content.

“She’s the kind of girl you should marry,” his mother murmured suddenly, her voice low but unmistakably firm.

Spencer blinked. “Mom…” He shot her a look, but she just raised an eyebrow.

“I’m just saying,” she added with a shrug, before turning back to her book.

Spencer lingered in the doorway for a moment, watching you hum softly as you wiped down the kitchen counter. The sight of you — moving so comfortably in his home, sleeves pushed up as you puttered around like you belonged there — made something unfamiliar twist in his chest.

“Hey,” you called out, breaking him from his thoughts. “Are you hungry? I was thinking I could make dinner… if you don’t mind some experimental cooking.”

“You cook too?” Spencer asked, stepping into the kitchen.

“Well…” you shot him a teasing smile. “I can read a recipe. That’s basically the same thing, right?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, something like that.”

The two of you moved around the kitchen, bumping elbows and brushing past each other in the small space. Every time your arm grazed his, Spencer felt his pulse jump. At one point, you reached over him to grab a pan, your hair brushing his shoulder, and he nearly forgot what he was supposed to be doing.

“You know,” Spencer said, clearing his throat, “I’m… surprised my mom’s actually letting you take care of her. She’s usually pretty stubborn.”

“She’s sweet,” you replied as you stirred a pot on the stove. “A little feisty, but I like that. Besides…” You glanced over your shoulder at him. “I have experience with stubborn people.”

“Oh?” He leaned against the counter, smirking. “And how do you deal with them?”

You grinned. “Patience. And charm.”

“Seems to be working.” The words slipped out before he could stop them.

Your smile widened, and Spencer felt a wave of heat crawl up his neck.

After dinner, once his mother had gone to bed, you lingered at the door with your bag slung over your shoulder.

“So…” you said with a smile. “About that coffee?”

“Yeah,” Spencer replied, a little too quickly. He swallowed, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “I’d love to… sometime.”

Your smile softened, and you reached up, brushing a stray curl away from his forehead. “Good. It’s a date,” you said, giving him a playful wink before heading out to put dinner on the coffee table for him, yourself and his mom.

Spencer stood there for a long moment after you’d gone, still feeling the ghost of your fingertips on his skin.

Come eat, Doctor Reid!” your voice called out, breaking Spencer from his trance once more.

You were sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the coffee table, arranging plates like it was the most natural thing in the world. The soft glow from the nearby lamp lit your face, and Spencer wondered how you managed to look so effortlessly put together after such a long day.

He shook off the thought and quickly walked over.

“Where are my manners?” you said, standing up and dusting your hands off on your scrubs. “What would you like to drink, Mrs. Reid?”

“Oh, just water is fine,” she replied with a gentle smile.

“You got it,” you said, brushing past Spencer on your way to the kitchen. Your arm briefly grazed his, and he swore his brain short-circuited for a second.

He sat down beside his mother, still a little distracted. “So… you like her?”

His mother gave him a pointed look. “I like her more than that last nurse you sent.”

“Well, yeah,” Spencer chuckled. “That guy quit before his second shift.”

“Because I chased him out,” Mrs. Reid said with a sly smile.

“You’re impossible,” Spencer muttered, but his mother’s chuckle made him smile.

When you returned, you handed Mrs. Reid her water and passed Spencer a glass of iced tea.

“Figured you could use a little sugar,” you said with a wink.

“Are you trying to convince me to employ you?” Spencer asked, raising a brow. “But don’t worry about that

“Maybe,” you teased. “But only because you seem like you’re worth the effort.”

Spencer felt heat crawl up his neck again, but before he could respond, Mrs. Reid spoke up.

“You know,” she began, spearing a piece of roasted potato with her fork, “this is lovely. It’s been a while since I’ve had a proper home-cooked meal.”

“Glad you like it,” you said, smiling proudly. “I wasn’t sure if I remembered the recipe right.”

“It’s perfect,” Mrs. Reid assured you. “Spencer, you’d better keep her around.”

“Mom…” Spencer muttered, shooting her a look.

“I’m just saying!” she continued. “Smart, sweet, patient — and she cooks?” She gestured toward you with her fork. “That’s wife material right there. Your—“ she cut herself off before she could mention his father which you didn’t notice.

You laughed softly, looking down at your plate as your face warmed. “Wow, no pressure,” you joked.

Spencer groaned, dragging his hand down his face. “Please ignore her. She’s —”

“Right,” Mrs. Reid cut in. “I’m right.”

“Be nice! She wants to be able to see you get married someday,” you teased, flashing Spencer a grin.

He could only shake his head, but the smile tugging at his lips was impossible to hide.

By the time dinner wrapped up, the conversation had flowed easily — you sharing funny patient stories, Spencer rambling about obscure facts (which you seemed to genuinely enjoy), and Mrs. Reid chiming in with her own dry humor. It felt… comfortable. Like this was something that had been happening for years.

“Thank you,” Spencer said as you started gathering the dishes. “For dinner… for helping my mom… for everything.”

“Of course,” you said softly, your eyes meeting his. “I’ll be back tomorrow?”

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” Spencer said before he could stop himself.

You paused in the doorway, shooting him one last smile. “Goodnight, Doctor Reid.”

“Goodnight,” he murmured, watching you leave.

His mother cleared her throat dramatically from the couch.

“Wife material,” she said again with a smug smile.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #x reader #fanfic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fluff #request #fluff #cm

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sleepynegress · 14 days ago

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TW: BLUNT talk about sexual violence.... .

The irony is her being prejudged as a "momma" and that being a racist, colorist, and sizest stereotype, is the fact of how women become mommas... ....And it's *not* via asexual reproduction. It's rooted in (as everything in this damn country is...) Racism. Throwing off accountability for the systemic abuses in chattel enslavement and that unconfronted ancestral memory lingering. ...As the most frequent targets of sexual violence. So, a lie of undesirability, mammification, and promiscuity along with, "unrapeability", was proliferated in order to throw off accountability for systemic rape. That mess is still deeply embedded in culture and it affects everything from pushed western beauty ideals, to how darker-skinned/plus-sized women are rendered, within featurist and colorist standard pop culture.

...Often desexualized, "strong", often sassy and or rude, or wise and strong, and/or somehow matriarchal and *STILL* desexed within that context... for the sake of the actual centered female lead, who fits narrow western standards. Aunjanue Ellis and Wunmi Mosaku are the two Black women I've seen within that gaze, in recent pop culture media memory just having normal loving love scenes without a comedy lean. And I'm happy to see it becoming less rarefied. I'll add, that women like Bessie Smith, Ma Rainey, Ethel Waters, and Pearl Bailey were very much known and marketed for their desirability and beauty, in that era...

So, it's also a case of looking through that 2025 lens.

Smoke and Annie were and look the same age. I know you lot aren't USED to seeing dark skinned Black women as love interests (especially plus sized ones) on screen but seriously, get a fucking grip. There was NOTHING to suggest she was any grown man's mama or sister. That is called bias.

#I'll add a big thank you queen latifah #who is so clearly aware of both her power in the gaze and how effective that lie is #that she has been a quietly dogged cultural advocate for leading plus-sized black women in het romantic pop cultural media.#and also needs to do that pearl bailey biopic

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deusfoundry · 4 months ago

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in retrospect, there's really no other way this night could've possibly ended.

zayne likes to think that he tried. that he had exercised as much restraint as he could. that the only reason he's got his lips on your skin, planting wet kisses that trails along the path of your collarbone, is because truly, he's been pushed to the brink of his self control.

but is he really to blame when you looked absolutely divine in that dress?

"z-zayne, we have to go ..."

your words fail to register in his mind, anything and everything but the tiny sounds you make enters one ear and slides right out the other. he almost feels bad now, the memory of how ecstatic you were when he'd invited you as his plus one to a banquet hosted by akso hospital three weeks ago flashes before him. how that excitement grew tenfold when you told him about the dress you'd bought to surprise him with.

and he certainly was surprised, pleasantly so, when the sight of your bare back greeted him as he entered his bedroom.

zayne stops in his tracks, feet feeling like they've been permanently rooted to the carpeted floor of his bedroom.

you're seated in front of the vanity table he'd put together for you. the size of it is nothing like the one you have at your apartment, but it shares a similar design, the same wooden accents. it's enough that you can get ready for anything without having to make a stop at your place. he'd bought it when you first began to spend the night at his apartment.

lately though, you've been spending the better part of each week in his place. zayne's been reminding himself to build up the courage to ask you to move in with him.

he's supposed to be used to this. to your back facing him. to your eyes lighting up when you catch sight of his figure through the reflection of your vanity mirror. to you pausing in the middle of your routine to turn around, greet him with that smile of yours that sends an ache in his heart.

but this damned dress.

he forces his feet off the floor to move towards you, his heavy footsteps catching your attention. you flash him a sheepish smile, your eyes flitting towards the jacket of his dress suit draped on his arm.

"have i been taking too long?" you ask, hurriedly dragging the tip of your eyeliner to your lids.

"no," zayne stalks close enough to place his hands on the back of your chair. he drinks you in, eyes casting downwards to the fabric pooling at your lower back. your hair is pulled up to a loose bun, fastened with a clip shaped into a snowflake, leaving your bare shoulders to view. he takes the thin strap of your dress betwixt thumb and forefinger, fighting the immense urge to pull the flimsy fabric off.

it's a losing battle, and zayne succumbs to his desires in a matter of seconds. he leans down, planting one tender kiss on the base of your neck.

he holds your gaze through the mirror as he releases his hold on the strap, letting it fall just above your elbow. he uses the same fingers to map out the scars littered on your back.

"no, you're alright."

"i'm-" your words get caught in a choke. "i'm almost done. why don't you wait for me here?"

"of course." zayne kisses your cheek before taking a seat on the edge of his bed. his eyes bore into you with an intensity that you can feel, enough to induce a tremble in your hands as you add the finishing touches to your make up.

"done!" you begin tidying up your table, placing the brushes back to their compartments. "just need to put my heels on."

"allow me." zayne very nearly bolts from the bed. he takes your heels by the straps from their place beside your vanity.

slowly, zayne kneels before you.

it's then that zayne notices another ... feature of your dress, discovering a slit that goes right up to your thigh. he freezes, hands ghosting your ankle, a field of smooth skin staring at him. possibly taunting him. definitely not helping his pants that seem to be growing tighter by the minute.

"love? are you okay?"

and you had the nerve to ask. surely, you must be aware of your effect on him by now?

"yes." he breathes out an apology, sucking the air through his nose as he slides your feet into the shoe. his fingers find the straps, wrapping them around and working up your leg the way he's watched you do so countless times before. he moves closer, reaching behind your leg to tie the straps together into what he hopes is a neat bow over your calf.

zayne repeats the process with your other shoe, but this time, he lets himself linger. lets his fingers run past your leg, over your knee, until they land on your thigh. lets them prod lightly at the flesh, encasing the muscle with his palm. lets himself lean down, low enough that from your point of view, it looks he's bowing to you.

he places a kiss, first over the strap of your heels that he's just worked on, the material an odd intrusion to his moisturized lips. then another, on your knee. and finally, his lips replace the palm on your thigh.

you shiver at the sudden loss of warmth, but you find soon enough that zayne never intended on keeping his hands away from you for long.

his hand glides further up, slipping beneath the fabric of your dress where it finds itself a home there.

zayne is too caught up in you, plush skin, enchanting perfume, this godforsaken dress, to hear your voice. he's only knocked out of his trance when he feels your hand cup his cheek.

"zayne?" he looks up, chin resting on your thigh. there's a flush to your cheeks, an obvious difficulty in the way you breathe. "we're going to be late."

he nods, pushing himself off the floor. he holds his hand out for you take and gladly, you slip your hand into his with a smile, using him as leverage to stand up.

zayne makes it about halfway through the living room before something in him snaps. he strides across his apartment, footsteps quick and erratic, almost tripping over his own feet.

you hear him from where you stood before his front door, turning around with the knob between your hand to ask him if he's okay. you get barely a word out of your mouth when zayne crashes his lips onto yours.

and that's how you find yourself now, pinned against the door of his apartment, clinging to his shoulders as your legs begin to go limp.

zayne kisses you everywhere, frenzied lips travelling from your neck, the exposed skin of your cleavage. he gives you not even a second to breathe before he's back on your lips. his hands behave similarly, squeezing at every inch of skin his fingers come across.

"i'm sorry." he sends a stream of warm air to your neck, nipping lightly at the skin. "it's just- you look so- god, it's this dress."

"the event-!" zayne cuts you off by sucking at your neck hard enough that it's bound to leave a mark.

"to hell with it."

you yelp when he cradles the back of your thighs to lift you up with ease. instinctively, you wrap your legs around his lower back, bringing him close enough that you can feel the bulge poking through his pants.

"the things you do to me..." zayne whispers over your lips. he eases your entire body into just one of hands, the other moving up to your face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "god, you have no idea."

except, you think you know exactly what you do to him, when he starts making his way back to the bedroom, lips eternally attached to yours.

#im sorry this was supposed to be as long as it ended up being 😭#zayne x reader #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #zayne smut #love and deepspace smut

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unintentionalseductress · 6 months ago

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LADS Men With a Plus Size Reader

Warnings: None! This is actually very fluffy! Maybe PG13 at most! (OMG NCS, no smut?!😲😲😲) A/N: Finally, got around to writing one of the promised headcanons! Now, allow me to be clear here. The amount of customization the game allows is incredible but MC is a little bit on the smaller side, and I would have loved to see an option for a more robust body build. The same way there are naturally thin and petite women, there are also bigger and more rounded women as well and I think there was an opportunity lost there. Anyone that tries to hate on this will be blocked immediately.

Zayne:

Zayne’s large hand envelopes yours as you walk to the cafe he’d recommended. You knew it was popular amongst the hospital staff and weren’t surprised to see familiar faces; one of the tables was completely occupied by some of Zayne’s surgical nurses.

“Why don’t you get a table?” Zayne brushes a kiss on top of your hair. “And I’ll get the food. Do you still want a hazelnut latte with your cake?”

“Yes please!” Zayne’s eyes fill with warmth as he squeezes your hand before walking towards the cashier. You wander over and pick a table near the nurses. You take out your phone and start to browse Instagram when a snide voice is heard from the table behind you.

“Gross.”

You freeze but don’t dare turn around. Maybe it wasn’t directed at you.

“That’s Dr. Zayne’s girlfriend?”

Shit it was.

“Why is he with that porker?”

“You’d think a man like that would have better taste.”

“I heard that they were childhood friends. He’s probably dating her out of pity.”

Even as your blood rages, you feel tears pricking the backs of your eyes. Were they aware you could hear them? And they had just said your worst fears out loud; that Zayne was dating you as a favor, not because he was actually into you. It was an old insecurity you hadn’t really grown out of. You startle slightly as Zayne suddenly sits down opposite you, food and beverages in hand. He sets down your coffee and cake while taking his own plate and tea off the tray.

“Why are you so upset?” He immediately observes the distress on your face and the way your eyes are glistening. You shake your head and dab at your eyes with a napkin, Zayne watching you intently. The cute slice of cake he’s gotten for you sits temptingly in line with your vision but right now it might as well be a lump of clay, all appetite for it gone.

Zayne’s eyes flick to the cake and back to you. “Did I get the wrong one?”

You’re about to shake your head no when the conversation at the table behind you picks up again. Clearly, they hadn’t noticed Zayne sitting down.

“He deserves so much more than that blob. There are so many attractive women at the hospital.”

“I agree. He could get anyone he wanted. Someone who actually takes care of their health and watches their figure.”

Shame fills you and you’re unable to look at Zayne in the eyes, knowing he had heard them, even though you know it was far from the truth. You ate all your vegetables and exercised frequently. But your body just refused to slim down no matter what you did. No matter how much you tried to lose weight, the weight just didn’t want to lose you. You’re about to get up and leave when Zayne speaks up, loud and clear, in a scathing tone.

“Right, because weight is the only indicator of a person’s health, isn’t it?” Zayne’s words drip with sarcasm.

The entire nurses’ table jumps at his voice, turning around to look at him.

“Oh, Dr. Zayne! We weren’t-”

“I don’t care what you weren’t doing. Do not talk about anyone that way, patient or not. Were you not taught compassion as part of your medical training? Or is it reserved for people who look a certain way?” His eyes are narrowed and the table looks tense. One by one the nurses start to get up, quietly murmuring apologies to him as they exit the cafe.

Zayne watches them go, anger still visible in his eyes before turning his attention back to you. His hand covers yours on top of the table. “Are you all right?”

You sniff. “I try. You know I try. I cook all my meals. I exercise. We work out together. But I can’t get the weight to go away.”

“No sweetheart. I know how much you take care of yourself.” Zayne reaches across the table to wipe your tears. “You do not have to lose any weight. You’re perfectly healthy, and as long as that’s clear, nothing else matters.”

“You’re not dating me out of pity?” You look at him uncertainly.

“Pity?” Zayne chuckles in disbelief. “Darling when you first started coming to my office I was sure you were out of my league.” His thumb strokes your hand reassuringly.

“You’re so amazing. Talented, compassionate, considerate. And all those things will always matter more to me than anything else.”

He looks at your neglected slice of cake. “Now don’t take out your sadness on the dessert. If you don’t finish it in 5 minutes, it’s mine.”

Rafayel:

You grip your wrap firmly around your shoulders, stepping with grace into the dazzling venue. You never missed Rafayel’s shows if you could help it but this time around, you had a skin in the game. Literally.

One night after a round of passionate lovemaking, you had woken to find Rafayel painting, and when you saw what he was working on, you’d blushed and smacked him on the shoulder.

There, in the brush strokes, he had painted you sleeping on his bed, your hair in disarray as it cascaded down your back, your face buried into the pillow and not quite visible. The sheets covered you modestly but the wide curve of your hips, the pudges of fat at your side, and the bra rolls under your arms were all painted with clarity and you found you couldn’t look at it. A feeling of unease had settled in your stomach. Was this the way your boyfriend viewed you?

You had brought it up to Rafayel in a small voice. “Do you think I’m fat?”

Your heart sank as Rafayel’s face, which had been so soft, a curve in his lips as he had painted, changed into a mask of dismay. “Fat?” he had asked, looking quite upset. “Where in this painting have I made you look fat?”

“Here. And here.” You point out the areas and Rafayel pulls you against him, holding you fiercely.

“Cutie, I swear to God I’m just painting you as you are. I don’t think you look fat at all. I’m just painting my beautiful girlfriend in all her glory.” Crushed against his chest, you try to talk.

“But, most women in paintings don’t look like that, they have smaller hips and thighs and mine look so…ugly.”

You thought Rafayel’s heart might have broken as he heard your word of choice. “There’s nothing about you that’s ugly. None of this is ugly. It’s a body. Your body. And baby I love every inch of it exactly as it is. I didn’t mean to make you sad while I painted all the pretty little pieces of you that make you whole.” His hands trace your sides, squeezing you reassuringly.

“There’s so much beauty in you baby. That’s all I see in this painting. You’ll always be the biggest masterpiece in my life.”

Knowing he held you in such high esteem had done wonders for your confidence, which was what you were trying to emulate as you walked into the gallery. Rafayel had hesitantly asked for your permission to showcase that painting for this show, promising he’d never use it without your consent. Nervous as you were, part of you was actually thrilled that it was going to be used. It was difficult to make out who the subject in the portrait was since your face wasn’t entirely visible.

Still, it felt like an out-of-body experience as you approached the hung canvas, observing the crowd that flocked to it. Some people nodded at it quietly before moving on, others commented under their breath that Rafayel should have chosen a more appropriate model.

“Can you imagine this woman being naked in his bed?” One of them asked and her friends snickered sycophantically. “He must have been drunk or something.”

“And why is that?” You turn in time to see Rafayel, dressed sharply in a couture outfit approach you and pull you to his side, his hand resting possessively on the jut of your hip. The woman backpedals.

“Mr. Rafayel! I mean, obviously, your work is unique but I can’t help but wonder what you might have been trying to convey when you painted someone with such a…heavy structure.”

Rafayel pretends to consider her words. “I suppose…people have different views on what beauty is. All I was trying to convey was how much I loved the person in the painting. Anyone that doesn’t see the beauty in this particular painting, well I’m afraid they have poor taste.”

Grinning at the affronted look on her face, Rafayel whisks you away, but not before you throw her a smug smirk over your shoulder.

Sylus:

Who knew underground mafia bosses loved their parties as much as their money? As strange as it was, the cliques had started becoming familiar with you hanging around. Anytime Sylus was invited to a gathering, it was expected that you were his plus one. While most of the men entertained polite conversation with you, it was no secret how coveted Sylus was by the women in the N109 zone.

They wrinkled their noses as you walked by, your head held high, knowing you shouldn’t let their words get to you but it was hard. You tell the bartender your order and put a $100 bill into the tip jar. After all, you couldn’t embarrass Sylus by handing out a miserly tip when he was supposed to be the richest man here.

You knew you looked good enough to kill; Sylus had chosen the gown you were wearing himself, even hiring a personal tailor to fit the dress to flaunt your best assets and a thick choker of diamonds glittered on your neck. The plunging V-line of the dress showed off a tempting display of creamy cleavage, the bodice of the dress pushing up your impressive bosom. The material crept over your belly and hips, your fupa visible a little more than you would have liked but Sylus had refused to hear otherwise. You remember the way his hands had caressed the bulge of fat after helping you zip up the gown, his low, contented, purr ringing in your ears.

“Kitten, you’re going to be every man’s envy tonight. How delightful that I get to flaunt you as mine.”

A group of women, all model-thin and gorgeous, approach the bar, their cold eyes fixed on you, wearing smiles that could cut glass. Your fingers drum nervously on the counter as you try to ignore them. One of the women spies the tip you had put in and jerks her chin at you, her lips twisting into what looks like a sneer.

“So Sylus has the money to let you throw around $100 bills into tip jars. I wonder…” She pauses and the group draws collectively closer like a cackle of hyenas. “Wouldn’t his finances be more wisely spent on other avenues?”

“Such as?” You ask carefully.

“A good plastic surgeon perhaps? Lord knows you could use some liposuction in more places than one.” Her entourage leers at you while covering their mouths to stifle their laughter.

Your back stiffens and your eyes widen in shock. You resist the urge to cover your middle. You knew you should have pushed harder to have the gown loosened. Your fupa, the soft squidge that bulged under the material of the dress…it was a mistake thinking you could attend a party with it showing up so obviously.

A million retorts form in your head but they all die weakly on your tongue. You had no defense, and you felt pathetic that you were sitting here and taking their abuse but your mind felt frozen, like you couldn’t plan your next move.

“How did you ever think that someone like you could pull off a dress like that?” The woman presses, her eyes boring into yours. Your pulse quickens as you try to find a way to escape.

“You’re right, she can’t pull off a dress like that.” A rich, deep voice answers the woman who pales as she sees Sylus drape his arm possessively around your shoulders. “It’ll wrinkle. That’s why I’ll be pulling it off for her as soon as we get home.”

His eyes flash scarlet as he signals to the bartender, who immediately starts pouring him a drink and expediting your cocktail, setting both glasses on coasters in front of you. You flush but try not to look too pleased as you take a sip, feeling the alcohol loosen you.

“Mr. Sylus.” The woman’s voice changes immediately and she steps back. “We were just talking about fashion.” she fibs hastily, trying to cover up her reason for using the word ‘dress’.

“Fashion?” Sylus looks at her patronizingly. “Do tell.”

Caught, she wets her lips before saying, “Oh we were talking about jeans and how they never fit or have pockets-”

“Hmm. I can understand these problems. After all, jeans without pockets are like women without curves…there’s nowhere to put your hands.” His broad hand shifts to your hip, his fingers subtly signaling it is time for you to go. You pick up your glass and Sylus holds onto you firmly as you walk back to the crowd.

Xavier:

You’re sweaty as you and Xavier walk back from the office gym to the locker rooms. Xavier drinks from his water bottle, swallowing zealously. “I think we’ve exercised enough for a whole week,” he says as you walk. You laugh and shake your head.

“We only did a half hour of cardio!”

“Yeah, but we lifted all those weights too! In fact, my muscles already feel stronger.” Xavier flexes his arm and a visible bicep forms, making you grin.

“Oh so strong,” you say as you reach out to squeeze. Xavier winces slightly and you quickly withdraw. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok. I’m a little sore.” You reach the locker rooms.“I’ll wait for you outside.”

You nod and he disappears into the men's locker room. You wander into the women’s, undo the lock, and retrieve your bag, finding a stall to change your clothes. You peel off your damp leggings which stick to your plushy thighs and you drag them down, sighing in relief as the skin jiggles freely in the cool air after being stuffed in the heat of polyester for so long.

The skin on your butt and stomach are dimpled, something you’d come to terms with. You recall how nervous you’d been to let Xavier see you in a bathing suit at the pool but now you barely glance at them.

“It’s like your skin is smiling at me when I kiss it.”

That’s what Xavier had said as he kissed the soft flesh lovingly. Who could possibly feel self-conscious after that analogy? As you fold away the sweaty clothes into a garment bag, you hear several of the other changing room doors open and a group of voices fills the locker room as you change. You normally wouldn’t have paid attention but you freeze when you hear Xavier’s name.

“Why do you think Xavier works out with her of all people?”

“I know! They workout together like almost everyday and she hasn’t lost any weight!”

“She probably lacks the discipline to go on a real diet. It doesn’t matter how much she exercises, that fat isn’t going to go away if she doesn’t eat healthier.”

“Xavier really needs to find a better workout buddy. She only slows him down.”

Your heart clenches in your chest as you hear the cruel commentary. How dare these women talk about your body like it was a source of entertainment for them? Both rage and sorrow fills you as you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. Suddenly all you can see are the flaws.

How cute, to call cellulite ‘dimpled skin’ like it was something to be adored. You stare at the lumpy skin, at the way your stomach and arms have stretch marks everywhere, the way your skin bulges over the band of your bra. You wait in silence as the women finish their chat and you hear them exit the locker room.

After what seemed like ages, you finally finish dressing and leave the changing room feeling humiliated. The post-workout glow had all but vanished from your system and you couldn’t shake off the feeling of being perceived like a huge, hulking, ogre; built big and lumberingly, not at all cute like the princess Xavier claimed you were. You leave the dressing room, then stare in disbelief as the same group of women crowd around Xavier as he waits for you. You lurk, not wanting to be seen, then one of the women speaks up.

“Xavier, if you’re looking for another workout buddy I’d be happy to tag along.” One of them chirps perkily.

Xavier chuckles politely and shakes his head. “Thank you, but no. I have a workout buddy.”

“Oh cmon Xavier, don’t you think you need someone who can challenge you a little more?”

“I do actually. That’s why I work out with her.”

“Does she really challenge you?”

“I think she challenges me more than you. Didn't you finish last in the company relay race?” The woman’s face falls and your heart skips a beat.

“And you,” Xavier says as he turns to face another woman. “Forgive me if I’m wrong but you struggle to push anything more than 75 pounds. My workout buddy does 150 easily. She’s very strong. Perhaps you might benefit from training with her.” The second woman looks offended even as she’s being chastised.

Feeling your confidence soar, you skip over to Xavier feeling as light as a feather. Xavier’s eyes light up as you approach. “Ladies,” you say smugly to their scandalized faces before pulling Xavier away from them, holding his arm as you walk away.

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mercyofempty · 2 years ago

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i only keep tiktok installed because its the only place i can find videos of people unboxing figures with no commentary it scratches a specific itch

#wispy.txt #i cant find anything like that on youtube #maybe i need to dig harder #its like that guy who imagines eating a burger so he doesn't feel hungry anymore #wanting to buy figures but then i watch someone unbox one and i don't want to buy one anymore #or i vividly imagine myself getting the figure >unboxing it> suddenly very aware of how the serotonin will only last like 5 seconds #and also its where i can find videos of plus size cosplayers mwah

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baby-yongbok · 9 months ago

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OnlyFans

Best Friend!Yang Jeongin x Afab!Reader

✦ Genre: Friends to Lovers - non-idol - [18+ Only]

✦ Content Description: 6.6k + 11 screenshots

✦ Summary: Your best friend finds out about your OnlyFans account which leads to you discovering how you really feel about him.

✦ CW: Unintentional exhibitionism(?), Unprotected sex [wrap it up party people] ✦ A/N: This is my FIRST Jeongin fic and I am hella excited! (and nervous) I really hope that you enjoy it! This is a hybrid of fake texts and story so make sure to open it all the way to see it all! AHH I'm so nervous.+ reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡ ✧ Masterlist ✧

Sleep abandoned you after you and Jeongin spoke, your thoughts were everywhere and nowhere and your body was working against you. Why does the fact that your best friend thinks that you’re hot turn you on? Why are you imagining him touching himself to the sounds of you moaning while you fuck yourself?

Is he big?

How would he feel?

Wait - how did he not recognize your voice?

You never show your face, only the shoulders down, but you’ve uploaded voice notes. You’ve done tons of horny rambles that he had to have listened to. Okay, wait wait wait, does he only get off to you? He said that you’re the only girl that he follows on the site… Okay, stop, brain shut the fuck up.

The next day you tried to operate how you normally would. You went to the gym, you got your morning coffee, you thought about Jeongin moaning at the sight of you, you screamed in your car and you went back home. Honestly, this is working out great.

You did everything that you could to distract yourself from the unending thoughts. You did laundry, watched TV, skipped rope on your balcony, you even started color organizing your closet. That’s when your phones started ringing with that tone that you know all too well.

You stared at it for what felt like a second, you tried to calm yourself down and cursed yourself out in your head for making this such a big deal. He said that he doesn’t care. He won’t mention it, he’ll just get off to your videos and that’s that. Jeongin is your best friend who finds you hot and touches himself to your videos, that’s so normal. You’re so normal about this.

By the time you finally hyped yourself up to answer his call the phone stopped ringing and you let out a huff of heavy air that you weren’t even aware you were holding. You’ll call him back…later.

Not even three minutes later there’s knocking at your front door and you rush to open it. You’re expecting a package today so this must be it. You swing the door open and your heart jumps out of your chest and runs down the hall. “Are you okay?”

Jeongin waves in front of your face to grab your attention as you stare at him, unmoving. “I called, you didn’t answer.” You clear your throat but end up choking a bit from how dry it is. You opt for nodding your head while you desperately swallow your spit to try and save you from further embarrassment.

“Right, yeah yeah come in, what’s up?” You hastily stumble to the side as you open your door wider. He stalks in like he always does, comfortable and confident. “You have my green jacket, Felix hyung wanted to borrow it tonight.”

”I gave that back, didn’t I?” You smooth down your skirt, suddenly feeling super self conscious. He’s seen you in this exact outfit more times than you can count but it’s different this time, right? No, it’s not supposed to be different. We’re acting normal. We’re so normal about this.

”Noona?” His fingers wrap around your wrist and you jump out of your thoughts, literally. “Is everything alright? You keep spacing out.”

Has his hand always been this damn big? That’s all that you can think to yourself as you stare down at where he’s holding you. “I’m fine, Jeongin,”

”You usually call me Innie.” He retorts with furrowed brows until it all clicks for him. “Is this about last night?”

You pull away from him like he’s on fire and start power walking to your bedroom before he can say another word. “I’ll go look for that jacket.”

You slam your room door closed behind you and sink to the floor against it immediately after. This is crazy, you’re acting crazy and horny and - and - fuck, has his hand always been that big?

Has he always called you noona that smoothly? Has he always been like… that? Wait, no, pull it together. Find the jacket and send him away so you can spiral in peace.

After about ten minutes of searching through the mess you made and battling your inner demons you find the jacket that Jeongin came for. When you leave your bedroom you expect to see him sitting on your couch but you find him in your kitchen instead. He’s washing your dishes while he hums some song that you’re sure that you could identify if you concentrated but you can’t think straight. Your brain isn’t working at all because your best friend is standing there, at your sink, washing your dishes… In only a white tank top and gray sweatpants.

Your eyes find the discarded sports sweater he arrived in thrown sloppily over one of your counter stools before they quickly return to Jeongin’s toned back. This shirt should be illegal. He shouldn’t be allowed to look this good.

You stand there, jacket in hand and thighs pressed together while you try to muster up the courage to say something, anything. Just as you’re about to speak he turns around with a cup full of water but it’s only full for a second before he jumps with a scream and pours it all over himself.

”Ya, noona!” He huffs, bracing himself against the counter. “What the hell? You scared the life outta me.” He drops the now empty cup into the sink and braces himself with both hands against the marble.

“Why are you just standing there?” You don’t even hear his question. You can’t hear anything except for the fast beating of your heart and incoherent screaming from your last brain cell as you take in the sight before you.

The front of his shirt is soaked and you can see right through the fabric sticking to each and every dip and contour of his unbelievable body. Has he always been… so hot? “Noona, seriously, what is going on with you? Do we need to talk about something?”

He steps towards you and you take a clumsy step back. “I uh, found the jacket.” You sit the jacket on the stool where his sweater is then look back at him. You look him in the eyes this time to avoid possibly fainting but you quickly discover that his gaze is just as intoxicating.

“Forget the jacket, I’m trying to figure out if -“ He takes another step towards you and you take two back.

“Okay, so I’ll see you later, right? Awesome, later Innie.” You rush back to your bedroom just as he takes another step to try to stop you. You slam the door shut and repeat the same routine as earlier. When did he get so hot?

What the fuck? Did he just ask you if you like it?…Why is the answer yes? Why does that make every thought that you’ve been thinking for the past 12 hours way worse? You gotta pull it together, you can’t let a simple question cause you to spiral. He probably didn’t even mean it like that…right?

You spend the next three hours trying to forget that text. You take a shower and cook yourself a dinner that you barely even touch because it’s not what you want. It’s not him, do you want him?

You drag yourself to your bedroom after you stuff your leftovers in the fridge and plop down on your bed. You scream into your mattress once or twice before you decide that you can’t take it anymore, you need to do something. Anything.

Before you can even really think about it you’re in your closet that should honestly count as a second bedroom but you're fine with it being your mini studio. This is where you’ve filmed every video, where you capture every picture and record every ramble. This is where you are when you make the content that Jeongin loves. Maybe he’ll love this too.

You make yourself a bit comfortable in front of the large mirror on the wall and turn on your voice recorder. “Hey there…Do you have a second? I just wanna get something outta my head.”

You settle into the fluffiness of your bean bag chair and spread your legs in front of the mirror. Your pajama shorts ride up a bit and the thin gusset exposes just enough of your cunt for you to take in. “I’ve been thinking about you all day, yeah you. I can’t get you off of my mind and it’s driving me crazy.”

You sigh into your phone, glancing down at the recorder to make sure that it’s still running. Your free hand runs over the scarf tying your hair back and trails down the side of your neck. Your fingers brush over your sweet spots slowly and carefully kinda how you think he would do it.

”I want you.” It’s more of a whisper than you intended but you keep going. “I want you so badly that it’s driving me mad. I bet you know that though, don’t you?”

You nearly say Jeongin’s name at the end of that sentence and you nearly moan it into the air when your fingers brush over your nipples. “Tell me that you thought about me too.”

Your hands start moving faster, grazing your covered and exposed skin with a hungry haste that you’re sure that Jeongin would recreate. He’d explore you with a lust driven by curiosity and desire. He’d rip you apart and take his sweet time putting you back together. He’d be rough and gentle, slow and fast, shallow and deep. He’d be everything.

You didn’t even realize that you were still talking into the recorder when your eyes snap open. You have no clue what you’ve said and you have no clue when you started rubbing at your clit but you don’t care. Moans are tumbling from your chapped lips as drool threatens to spill over the corners.

There’s nothing but pure carnal desire lingering around you and it’s all for your best friend. All for a man that you’ve never looked twice at until today, or have you? You always knew that Jeongin was attractive. You always felt a tingle when he’d hold you or play around with you but you’ve learned to push it down. It was manageable until last night. That’s when the dam broke.

”In- I - I need you.” You almost said it, almost let it slip. “Touch me please, please.”

Your fingers are slipping inside before you can even process it. You’re stroking up against your g-spot at a pace that should be painful but you feel nothing but bliss because you’re thinking of nothing but him. Him him him.

The slick sounds of your cunt are loud enough to be caught on the recorder but you wouldn’t be surprised if they’re completely overshadowed by your moans. “Make me cum, please please please, m’ gonna cum.”

Your vision is going white before you can even take a deep breath, it gets caught in your throat as you cry out. You’re panting, mumbling curses left and right and then right as you’re ending the recording it finally slips. “Innie”

After sitting and staring at your reflection for maybe thirty minutes you finally pulled yourself up off of your bean bag chair and freshened up. You plopped down onto your bed face first and screamed, this seems to be becoming a routine.

Once you get a grip you sit up against your pillows and stare at the new audio. How could you make this while thinking about Jeongin? Are you a terrible friend? Can you blame him for being hot? Can you say that it’s all his fault and just live life hating him for ever finding your account? No, I mean, yeah you could but that would be stupid.

You load the audio into your Only Fans account and put together the new post. You usually wouldn’t think twice about uploading a ramble, you’d usually listen to it in your headphones to check the quality and then throw it online for your subscribers to enjoy but this one feels different. This one feels wrong to post. After a bit of debating you take a deep breath and go for it. It can’t be that bad right?

Nevermind

It’s been about an hour since you posted the audio and it’s gotten back to back likes and comments. You’ve even gotten some chat requests with tips that you plan to reply to later but the one that just came in caught your attention.

You don’t know what it is about it, maybe it’s the username or the energy behind their message but you’re almost a thousand percent positive that it’s Jeongin on the other side of this chat.

You sound so pretty in your new audio. You’re really fueling my imagination tonight. I.2.n.8 Sent a tip

You stare at the message for so long that you forget to blink. This is so obviously him. The user name is a dead giveaway. Jeongin is messaging you about your new ramble… you shouldn’t reply.

Fuck.

You replied. You replied and you flirted so fucking hard that you’re sure that he’s blushing in his bed just like you are right now. You’ve talked to plenty of guys like this. You flirt and make them feel special and then boom more tips but you don’t even care about the money right now, not when you’re having so much fun texting - sexting - the only man that’s been on your mind. Your best friend.

When you see Jeongin the next day at a small get together you expect it to be awkward. You expected for him to give you knowing looks from across the crowded restaurant table but he didn’t. He acted completely normal like he hasn’t been sexting his best friend for the past eight hours.

You tried your best to mimic his demeanor. You spoke to him as normally as you possibly could and as the night went on it got easier to ignore the elephant in the room. You stole some food off of his plate and even sang karaoke with him at the bar that you went to afterwards. You almost forgot about the messages, until you got home.

Care to help me with a situation, sweetie? I’ll make it worth it, I promise. I.2.N.8 Sent a tip

Holy Fuck, that’s a big tip… like, money… that kind of tip. You sat on the edge of your bed with a messy cocktail of cheap liquor running through your veins and giving you confidence to do things that will surely have you screaming into your mattress later, and not in the way that you really want.

You strip down and head to your closet, clicking a few pictures in poses that you’ve never tried before and some that are your tried and true classics. You hold your breath as you organize the album and attach a price to it. If he really wants to see it he can pay, you’ll be needing the money to fund your therapy sessions after this anyway cause this teasing is driving you insane.

Right when you send the set to the ‘mystery’ guy a text from Jeongin drops down into view and you’re instantly covered in goosebumps.

Ayen 🥐❣️: I had fun with you today, missed you. Ayen 🥐❣️: I work late tomorrow but I’m free the day after, wanna come over?

This is suspicious… right? You should decline. Yeah definitely decline, you don’t wanna risk anything happening that could ruin your friendship.

You’re screaming into your mattress again.

You accepted the invitation as you were thinking about declining it.

You never stood a chance.

You don’t sleep, instead you plan a cute but chill outfit to wear when you go over to his place. It’s not a date but you still wanna be cute, this isn’t weird. This is normal.

What’s not normal is the way that you’ve been glued to your phone since this chat with Jeongin popped up. You’re not neglecting your other messages but you do spend extra time on his chat. You give him exclusive content that barely costs a thing and you’re fucking enjoying it. You’re addicted. So much so that when you get to Jeongin’s house the next day for your hang out it’s all that you can think about.

You’ve been here for about an hour and a half. You thought that it was just gonna be you and Jeongin. You thought that it was gonna be a nice best friend date. It’s not.

“You seriously never saw that video before?” Jisung asks Felix with a mouth half full of whatever he ordered a bit ago. You’re sitting next to Jeongin on the couch with his roommate Seungmin next to him and his other roommate Felix on the floor with Jisung. ”Never.”

They fall into some conversation that everyone seems to be paying attention to but you. You’re too busy staring at your blacked out phone screen as you try to cope with the fact that you’re sitting next to the man that you’re secretly sexting.

He hasn’t made anything weird just like he promised, everything is fine. You just need to calm - what the fuck?

Your phone chimes and your screen lights up to show a browser notification. An OnlyFans notification. You look over to the man next to you to catch him stuffing his phone in his pocket while he laughs at something that Felix said. Did he seriously just text you?

He did. You open your browser and the message is right there. Staring at you while you stare at him.

Bet you’re lookin’ so pretty today, sweetie. I.2.n.8 Sent a tip Mind showing me what you’re wearing today?

You gulp down the spit pooling in your mouth and choke a bit but you hide the cough well, you think. Why would he text you now? Why here? Maybe this is a good chance to see if it’s really him. Yeah, this is your chance.

You type the cutest reply you can think of while your heart does the cha cha slide in your chest and hit send. You hold your breath as you wait for the ding but you’re choking once again when you actually hear it.

Jeongin reaches into his pocket and smiles down at his phone. He doesn’t unlock it. He doesn’t check the message. But you know what he does? He fucking smiles at you.

“You okay, noona? You’re spacing out again.” Seungmin is replying before you can even open your mouth.

“Maybe if you actually spoke to her instead of texting that OnlyFans girl she wouldn’t have to daydream.” The other two instigate Seungmin’s teasing and Jeongin only rolls his eyes with a smile.

“You’d be obsessed with her too if you’ve seen what I’ve seen” He settles back into the cushions a bit, extending his arm to the back of the couch behind you. He feels so much closer to you like this, or maybe it’s just because he’s talking about you to all of your friends. “She’s worth obsessing over.”

“Share her account then.” You jump a bit at the suggestion, it was quick but it was enough to gain Felix and Jisung’s attention. Jeongin is the opposite of you. He isn’t phased by the suggestion one bit, he just smiles down at his lap and shakes his head. “Nope, she’s a treasure that I plan to keep to myself.”

Seungmin scoffs and the other two start with the teasing again but Felix’s gaze keeps floating back to you. You try your best to relax, no one knows that you’re the OnlyFans girl so they aren’t actually talking about you. But this on top of Jeongin texting you while sitting right next to you is starting to be too much.

“Yeah yeah, tease all you want, I’m getting a drink.” Jeongin asks if anyone else wants anything from the kitchen and collects requests from almost everyone except for you. You just sit there quietly staring at your lap, quietly dying inside until the burning in your chest gets your feet moving.

“I’ll be back.” You mumble but only Felix replies, he’s the only one that heard you and his eyes follow you as you take the same path that Jeongin did a second ago.

Your friend is looking into the open fridge when you get to the kitchen. He’s grabbing a bottle of water when he notices you come around the corner.

“Hey, did you want -“

“Not here.” You whisper through clenched teeth, it’s quick and quiet enough for you to get the point across and then escape. “Do not message me here, are you insane?” Jeongin closes the fridge, water bottle in hand and a grin on his lips.

”What?” You look back to make sure that you’re still alone before stepping closer to him. ”Do not text me here.”

”Why would I be texting you when you’ve been right next to me?” He sips from the bottle in his hands before sitting it down. “I think that you’re confused about -“

”You’re I.2.n.8, I know you are. You’re the one who’s been tipping me and texting me on OF for days.” Jeongin looks down at the tile in an attempt to hide the smug grin on his face. “You promised not to make it weird.”

”I kept my promise.” He shrugs, looking back up at you with a different gaze, a darker one. “I haven’t made anything weird. I haven’t brought it up. It’s you who thinks that I’m texting you.”

He steps closer, leaving little room between you two. You can feel your face getting hot, the temperature is rising with each second that your eyes are on his. Your thighs press together and you take it as a desperate plea from your body but you don’t know what for. “ Do you want it to be me texting you?”

The air feels too thick with him so close, you can’t breathe. It’s too much. You turn away, desperate to retreat back to your safe space on the couch but he grabs your wrist before you can escape.

His other hand finds your waist and guides your back against the marble counter next to the fridge. “Don’t run away from me again, noona.” There’s barely an inch between you two and the air feels dry at this point. Your tongue feels too heavy to control in your mouth so you dip it out to skate across your bottom lip. Jeongin watches the movement carefully, too carefully.

”Tell me, do you want it to be me, hm?” He shifts, caging you between his arms as he leans against the counter. You catch the flex of his muscles from the corner of your eye and it makes you feel dizzy, what is going on? “Do you want it to be me who tells you how badly I wanna ruin such a pretty thing like you?”

You bite back a groan and sink into the surface behind you. He steps forward, now impossibly close as he moves to whisper in your ear. “Is that what you want, sweetie?”

Oh fuck, it is him. It’s really him.

”Jeongin, we can’t” You’re whispering to him so he whispers back. “Can’t what? What are you thinking about? I’ve only asked you a question.”

”You can’t be this close to me.” Your words feel forced and your limbs feel heavy as you try to find a way to settle against him. “This isn’t right.”

”Yeah? So you touching yourself in your closet and moaning my name is fine? But this isn’t right?” Your eyes widen the second those words leave his mouth, how did he know that you film in your closet? He’s been there a couple of times of course, he’s sat in your bean bag chair and he’s helped you pick out outfits but he never knew that you do Only Fans. So if he knows that you’ve been filming in your closet that means he recognized it from one of your videos… which means that he also had to have recognized you.

“You knew that it was me the whole time didn’t you?” Your eyes flick from his to his lips and back up. “You knew that it was my account.” His lips spread into a wide mouth smile as he mimics your previous pattern with his dark pupils.

“Maybe I did.” He moves his hand to your arm, running his fingers over the exposed flesh of your wrist. Every touch feels like fire as the pads of his fingers glide up your forearm. “Maybe I hoped it was you.”

His fingers press into your flesh every so slightly, it’s enough to make you shift into a firmer press of your thighs. “Maybe I only subscribed to the account because it looked like you.”

His fingers take their time going over the curve of your shoulder. They tease the strap of your top for a second, before dancing up the curve of your neck. “Guess I got lucky, huh?”

That was what tipped the bucket. That is what had you crashing your lips to his and wiping that smug smile off of his face in an instant. He moans into your mouth before you can moan into his, his hand cups your neck, pulling you closer as his other hand grabs at your waist.

It’s heated and sloppy. He feels just as desperate as you do with every clumsy swipe of his tongue over yours. You’re panting into his mouth, only pulling away for half a second to breathe before you’re tasting him again.

Your hands grab at his flexing arms, scratching and kneading the flesh before you move to make fists into the fabric of his shirt. He feels unreal, he’s more than what you dreamed of. He feels so strong and soft and he tastes like lust itself.

You press your body further into his, taking in the matching thump of his heart to yours as your lips move in an impossible rhythm. It’s clear that you both feel the same hunger, the same longing, the same need for each other. Maybe this was driving him insane too.

“Jump.” His command is muffled and wet against your lips but you understand him and swiftly obey. His hands move to the back of your thighs to help you up onto the counter and he briskly fills in the space between your parted legs with his slim waist.

You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands wander up your clothed thighs, his fingers dig into the plush flesh with a deep groan. “Fuck, do you know how long I’ve thought of this?” He trails kisses over your cheek and over the shell of your ear.

“I watched every video.” He moves down the curve of your neck, nipping and kissing the flesh to milk moans from your parted lips. “I listened to every audio. I saved every picture.”

He sucks bruises into your clavicle, licking over the rising cherry marks and planting sloppy kisses. “But none of that is as good as this.” You’re panting and moaning into his ear. Words don’t make sense. They jumble and disappear behind your eyes with each rough grab and desperate lick.

“Do you feel as good as you look, sweetie?” Your eyes flutter open when he pulls back from your neck. Both of your lids are low and your eyes have a lustful haze fogging them. “Can I please feel you?” His hands explore you while you fight with your tongue to form words. They skim over your curves and make you feel like you’re electric. You’ve wanted this, you wanted this so badly.

“We shouldn’t.” Your mouth forms the wrong words and you curse yourself for it. Jeongin just nods at you, hands still exploring your body until they reach your breast. He cups them, squeezing a bit and running his thumbs over your hardened nipples.

“We shouldn’t” He repeats after you, massaging your breast more intensely and pressing the prominent bulge in his sweatpants firm against your cunt. Your breath hitches and your eyes flutter shut.

“We can’t” It comes out as a moan as he leans in and sucks on the flesh on the other side of your neck. Your fingers rake through his hair and he groans at the slight tug you give. “You’re my best friend.”

“Don’t worry about making things weird.” He whispers between kisses to the shell of your ear. “Just worry about what you want.”

He pulls away again, fox eyes staring into yours. “You’re not gonna lose me, don’t worry.” Your eyes search his for a second and you can feel your resolve breaking.

“Touch me.” Your voice is barely above a whisper but he heard you, he’s just going to act like he didn’t. “Say it again.”

“Touch me, Innie, please. I wan’ it.” His hand is slipping down the front of your shorts in an instant. Everything is back to being clumsy and rough, fast and desperate. He moans when the pads of his fingers run over your slick folds.

“No panties, sweetie?” His eyes roll back and he bites at his bottom lip to try to control himself.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” He hooks his fingers into the side of your shorts and starts trying to work them down your thighs. “I need you, it’s driving me mad.”

You lift up for him and when you come back down his lips are on yours. “You’re driving me insane.” He whispers against your spit slick lips, his forehead is pressed to yours as his fingers roam your slippery cunt. He covers you in your own slick, dipping in and out of your folds and teasing your waiting hole.

“Please, no teasing, I can’t take it.” He rubs your clit, once then twice before slipping back down. “Innie, please I’ll be so good. I’ll be so good for you please just fuck me.”

He pushes a finger into you slowly, taking in the soaked warmth that he caused. This is all because of him and his cock twitches at the thought. You moan and arch your back, your nails dig into his forearms as he moves. His rhythm is steady and unfamiliar, it makes your body sing in a way that no one else ever has.

“You’re so tight, noona. So wet.” His eyes are glued to where his finger is disappearing inside of you. He adds another, pushing in slowly before taking his previous pace. “Oh fuck, this is how it looks when you fuck yourself. When you take those toys and stuff your cunt. Shit, it’s so hot.”

You’re grinding into his hand, meeting his fingers when they fill you to the knuckle. Your tongue is poked between your teeth in an attempt to keep yourself quiet but you’ve already failed. Each thrust is met with a whining whimper that Jeongin eats up like candy.

“Innie, Innie, c-can you curl them please? Curl your fingers inside of - holy shit, yes yes yes.” He watches your eyes roll back as your orgasm builds and builds.

“Did you think of me?” His voice is thick with lust as he watches you. “When you made your last audio, did you think about me?” You’re shaking your head before you can even filter the question. You admit it shamelessly as you chase your high that’s dangling in front of you.

“Yes, I did I did, I thought of you.” Your orgasm rushes up your legs and blurs your vision with one more stroke of his fingers but he’s pulling out before you can ride it out. You whimper at the loss but a gasp quickly follows when you’re filled with something thicker.

“I know.” He moans, bracing himself against the cabinet behind your head as he pushes into you. “You said my name in the audio, you know that?”

He bottoms out with a groan, your cunt is spasming around him as your previous orgasm rips through you but you can already feel another one building as the first one subsides. His other hand settles at the nape of your neck and he pulls you in for a searing kiss.

You can’t breathe being this full of him. With his tongue exploring your mouth and his cock stretching your walls. It feels like you're suffocating in the most delicious way. “Shit, your pussy takes - takes me so well.” You can feel his control dissolving. It’s evident in the way he pants against you and how his dark eyes droop lower and lower with each unsteady pull of his hips.

“I wanna take my time with you.” He whispers against your lips. “I wanna but I can’t.” He’s whining, moaning and cursing into the air as he drags against your walls. You can’t even really hear him if you’re being honest. Between the sloppy sounds of your cunt being fucked, the rapid beating of your heart and ringing in your ears you’re completely clocked out. Utterly brain-dead.

“Please, let me hear you. Please, I wanna know what you sound like when I fuck you.” Your voice shakes with a moan of his name as he switches his pace. His thrusts become faster and deeper, his breathing ragged, he’s doing his best to fuck you how he’s seen you fuck yourself. He’s doing his best to ruin you the same way that he imagined every time that he’d jerk his cock to your content.

“More more more, please. Deeper, I wan’ it deeper.” His hands move to your thighs at your request and he pulls your ass to the very edge of the counter. He supports your legs on either side of him while you brace yourself against the side of the fridge.

He pushes into you until his pelvis is flush against you. Every single thick inch of him is buried inside of you. Your pussy swells around him, squeezing him so perfectly that he lets his head fall forward with a moan. The hand that isn’t against the fridge balls the fabric of his shirt against his chest and slowly pulls it up until his torso is exposed to you.

“Oh, fuck.” Your eyes snap shut once you feel him twitch inside of you. You let your hand run over his toned core, taking in every firm dip from under his fallen shirt. “Move, please. Please, Innie.”

“‘M gonna cum if I move.” His voice is strained as he rummages for any last bit of self control but he’s lost it all. He pulls back slowly, swirling his hips to hit every spot that you could imagine and more. Your pussy clenches around him as he sinks back in and he nearly busts at the feeling.

“I can feel you in my fucking stomach.” That’s all that you had to say to break him. That’s all that you had to say to have him pushing deeper into you then pulling back with every intention of ruining you. The only sound that you can hear is skin against skin decorated by your harmonizing moans.

His eyes are shut tight as he moves, he’s biting his tongue, trying his best not to whine and moan like he does into his hand while watching your videos. You on the other hand are loud. You’re so fucked out and dazed that you can barely remember where you are. You couldn’t answer the first question asked to you even if you tried, the only thing that you can think of right now is Jeongin. Everything is him. Him, him, him.

“Innie ‘m gonna cum, you’re gonna make me. Gonna make me cum, fuck fuck fuck.” You scratch into his abs, leaving pretty red marks for him to remember this moment. Your head falls back as you float in the feeling of being dumb with pleasure. His hips slam into you at their own accord and you just take it. You let him fuck you just how he wants, just how you need it.

“Cum, please cum. You feel too good. sweetie. Gonna make me cum.” His thrusts become more frantic, his movements more erratic. Your body is trembling and your mind is blank. A familiar fuzziness takes over your vision as you lose control, you welcome it. You savor it and quietly beg for more. “Cum on my cock, noona.”

He’s begging and you’re complying. Your vision blurs with a hazy white, your breathing hitches, and your body trembles with pleasure. You’re more than positive that your damn near screaming his name as he fucks you through what might be the most intense orgasm of your life. “That’s it, Thank you for your cum. Thank you.”

His fingers dig into your thighs as his thrusts become unpredictable. He can’t take much more and he knows it. As much as he wanted to savor you he just can’t help but to get lost in the way you feel. He can swear that you were made for him. “Oh fuck, oh, fuck, I’m cumming.” With one final thrust he’s pulling out and milking his cock of thick ropes of white that settle on your inner thigh and drips down to frame your glistening cunt.

He slumps forward, forehead resting against yours as you both pant hot and heavy satisfaction into the air. The silence is loud, almost louder than your pounding heart and racing thoughts as your eyes flutter open to meet Jeongin’s.

You stare at each other, it’s soft and almost comfortable but there’s still this looming uneasiness in your chest that makes you feel like you made a big mistake. It makes you feel like you just lost something. “Here.” He speaks first, pulling back from you to reach for the water bottle that he had earlier.

“Drink this, please.” He’s gentle as he opens the bottle and raises it to your lips. He tips your head back with a bent finger and turns the bottle up for you. “Are you okay?”

You swallow hard, panting for another second before you try nodding your head but you don’t know what to tell him. “Hey.” He grabs your attention, pulling you out of your thoughts for a second and calming you with his touch. “Everything’s alright. We didn’t ruin anything.”

He smiles softly, pressing a soft kiss to your lips that you can’t help but melt into. Maybe he’s right. Maybe you’re just nervous to confront all of this, maybe you’re just scared to admit to yourself that you want him. You want him so badly and so much more.

He pulls back and you sigh, nodding your head with a whisper. “I’m okay.”

“Let me clean you up and we can talk?” He starts fixing himself up and you can’t help but to snort a laugh. “I feel like we did this in reverse order.”

He smiles as he moves over to the sink. “Yeah, maybe.” The two of you laugh softly as he wets a couple of paper towels. It’s quiet again. It's comfortable. Everything will be alright.

“Your bedroom is literally right down the hall, you couldn’t fuck there?” Seungmin yells to the two of you and you freeze, Holy fuckaroni, you forgot that they were here.

“You never even brought me my drink!” Jisung follows and Jeongin rolls his eyes and comes back over to you with the paper towels. Felix yells right after Jisung and you can’t help but to break out into laughter with Jeongin as he cleans you up.

“Are you two not confused that they just fucked? Is it just me?.”

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