#plus rewatched a couple of favourites a few times

[meneatyoghurt]

I barely ever remember what's in each pandemic livestream, apart from a couple of favourites (especially with the non-numbered ones), so it's always a wonderful surprise when I stumble across the Luke Manning Breakdown.

"Before this as well, I said 'let's all be nice to each other again'."

*Sam wheezing in the background*

[floralseokjin]

⤑ 9 months to fall in love 22.

It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.

Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.

Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…

pairing; kim seokjin x f reader au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov words; 5,057

warnings/includes (!) IT’S TIME! GLOB IS COMING!!!! 

⟶ ao3 link

*inspired by the manhwa ‘Positively Yours.’

note; The Astronaut is 1000% playing while they have their little slow dance during the party 🤧 Also, for visuals: here is the inspo for the photoshoot outfit and here’s inspo for the tux! 

↪︎ series index

SEASON THREE ⇤ previous | next ⇥

The next few weeks flew by. 

It took a while for you to stop feeling so shaken up by the accident, and even now, you still felt slightly nervous being inside a car. You knew you couldn’t let the irrational fear consume you, especially with your life soon to take on a new importance, so you tried hard to work past it, talking it through with your therapist during the online sessions you were still having. The collision had purely been an accident, a split-second mistake made by the other driver, a lapse in his judgment. You couldn’t give it the chance to control you. You were stronger than that. Plus, you had so many better things to concentrate on. Seokjin, your friends, your bettering relationship with your family. Your daughter. 

At first, being on maternity leave was jarring. You’d worked fulltime ever since you’d graduated university, so having countless days and days to yourself took some getting used to. Seokjin joked that you needed to make the most of it, because once Sarang got here you both wouldn’t know peace again. It was a strange thought, but not disagreeable. She might have been the surprise you’d never known you wanted, but you’d been practically ready and eager from the start. Seokjin, too. 

You busied yourself with some more decorating of the house at first. Minor decorating. You couldn’t do much, but dotting a few art pieces or photos around, placing a vase on an end table, and laying out a few rugs here and there didn’t use much energy. Until it did. It felt like you were getting heavier and heavier by the day, the weight of Glob weighing you down and warping your axis of balance. You tried your best to keep active, going into the centre of the city a couple of times, and when you couldn’t manage that – not that you managed it well pre-pregnancy – you settled on small walks around your new neighbourhood. Seokjin joined you in the evenings sometimes, but mostly on the weekend. He was still working himself silly ready for his paternity leave, which meant that you were both in bed by 9pm most nights. 

In fact, as well as going to bed early, you liked a nap in the middle of the day too, falling asleep on the couch, where you spent most of the day watching boxset upon boxset. You’d already completed a rewatch of one of your favourite shows, finding it even funnier than the first time a couple of years ago. Now, you were starting something new. A sitcom. You found laughing was the way to go in these trying times, but it also weakened your bladder even more. You’d also started playing BT21 – your bump was a great rest for the handheld console. You’d never been into gaming, but you were becoming mildly addicted slash emotionally unstable, crying at how cute all the animal characters were. 

On the weekends, you and Seokjin bulk cooked meals to freeze. What started off as a fun domesticated activity soon turned into a bind. The good news was that you now had enough food to last at least three months and had stocked up on enough dried goods to avoid starving during a zombie apocalypse. But hopefully that didn’t happen now that you were so close to giving birth. 

The nursery was complete, the beautiful crib the main feature. You kept finding any old excuse to step inside and gaze around – not that you needed an excuse. You spent quite a few hours organising and reorganising Sarang’s chest of drawers, folding and refolding all her little onesies and cute outfits. You made sure to dust and wipe down surfaces often, wanting everything to be squeaky clean for her arrival. Your hospital bag had long been packed, on countdown inside your bedroom. Before long, there wasn’t very long to wait at all! 

One of the worst things to deal with, now that you were in such a late stage of pregnancy, were the nights. Maybe that’s why you were napping so much in the day. No position was comfortable – and positions were limited in the first place. Your bump had reached its limits, you couldn’t go any bigger you were certain. You tried to help yourself by wedging pillows under your bump and between your legs to ease the pressure. It worked to a certain extent, but then leg cramps would set in and you had to move around, trying to get comfy all over again. Then you needed to pee, so it was back and forth to the bathroom. Then Sarang decided she wanted to wiggle. 

It was no wonder you were a little irritable these days, all things considered. Tonight, you and Seokjin had gone to bed not talking to one another after you’d snapped at him over making dinner. He’d come home later than usual to find you in the kitchen, instantly ordering you out. When you’d refused, the exasperated look on his face made you see red. You didn’t expect him to come home after a long day of work and start dinner immediately. You were pregnant, not decrepit, and making a simple stir fry wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility. 

You’d made the stupid stir fry in the end, and then the both of you had eaten in stony silence across from one another. You rarely argued, but you were both fans of the silent treatment when you did. Both stubborn too, it was impossible to know who would break first. As it were, Seokjin was the one to fold tonight. 

“____, what’s wrong?” he asked into the darkness, voice thick with sleep but prickled with concern. 

It wasn’t a surprise that you’d managed to wake him up. You’d already been to the bathroom twice, readjusted your pillows five times, and thrown your head back in frustration maybe ten. 

“Nothing,” you mumbled. Which was a lie. As well as being horrifically uncomfortable, you felt guilty for earlier, which was only marginally overshadowing your annoyance over Seokjin being able to sleep soundly while you tossed and turned. 

Seokjin shifted onto his side, one hand reaching for you and grazing your hip. “Can’t get to sleep?” 

“No.” Mortified, the word sobbed from you, and just like that you were crying. 

“Hey,” he said softly, gathering you in his arms as best he could. You were still uncomfortable but feeling him hold you made it better. “You’re okay.” He rubbed your back soothingly. 

“I’m being stupid,” you sniffed into his chest, getting his pyjama shirt wet. 

Moving your hair off your forehead, he kissed a spot he could reach. “You’re not. You’re tired and uncomfortable.” His palm felt really good stroking between your shoulder blades. “Close your eyes and think of something relaxing.”  

“All I have to think about is the impending horrors of childbirth.” 

Seokjin didn’t reply, probably realising there was nothing he could say to that. He’d seen the videos too. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” you added.

“I’m sorry too,” he sighed softly. “I had a stressful day.” You hated that he was working so hard while simultaneously knowing you would be beyond happy and grateful once your daughter was born. You were ready to tag team Sarang’s first month in this world. 

“If you can’t sleep, neither will I,” Seokjin announced a few moments later. 

“Now you’re the one being stupid.” 

He barked a laugh, loud in the middle of the night. Then, fondly, “I love you.” 

You smiled against him. You would never get sick of hearing that. It was just three small words, but you knew Seokjin meant them deeply every time. And so did you. “I love you, too.”

A couple of weeks ago, Seokjin got the front page on one of the most well-known business magazines. You didn’t know who had been more excited, you or everyone else who adored him. Definitely not him anyway. Seokjin handled it with his usual Seokjin modesty, as if it wasn’t a big deal at all. You had a copy on your nightstand and another on the coffee table in the best living room. Yeonja even bought a copy for her coffee table, and Mari too! She messaged you a picture on the day it came out. Seokjin had a lot of fans. It was no wonder when you saw his photoshoot. Fashionable in his beige turtleneck and grey suit, he looked objectively handsome. There was no issue of being biased, your man seriously was that good looking! And wonderful. You’d read the part where they mentioned you and Sarang (not by name) in his interview at least a dozen times, and it never failed to put a massive grin on your face (and shed a tear or two.) Plus, reading the interviewer praise him made you inexplicably happy. 

Having taken up most of his twenties and half of his thirties, Alpaca Gaming Studios has been his life, but it’s time to concentrate on more personal matters. After falling in love earlier this year, there’s a baby on the way, and Seokjin is ready to gradually take a step back from work. “She’s the most amazing person I know,” he says about his partner, sounding smitten. “I want to spend as much time with my family as possible. I can’t wait to become a father.” He’s unable to fight the grin on his face. 

Staunchly private, he won’t reveal much about his relationship, but his beaming face is proof of how in love he is. His company still means the world to him, but he is very aware that it could shine just as hard without him – his words, not mine! I am inclined to disagree. AGS has obviously become what it is because of the man sat in front of me. Politely spoken and painfully modest, it seems almost impossible that he is CEO of one of the world’s most popular video game companies. Not to mention, Kim is quite unnervingly handsome. It’s practically unfair. He laughs when I tell him this, turning red. 

“Nothing like that,” he’s quick to correct, when I ask him if he plans on stepping down. Then jokes, “I’ll give everyone I know a heart attack if they read this. I can’t see myself stepping down any time soon.”  

It’s another one of his charms. To be serious and subsequently dilute it with a joke. Not everyone could pull it off, and Seokjin does so numerous times during this interview. His charisma is something else! 

“We’re a team at AGS, a family” he continues, “and they are way more talented than I could ever be.” He chuckles self-deprecatingly, somehow making it attractive. “I have no doubt that if I ever did decide to retire, they’d do just fine without me. There’s my second in command, after all.” 

He’s mentioned his secretary slash best friend Jung Hoseok numerous times throughout this interview and insists he wouldn’t be here now without him. In fact, he wouldn’t be here now without a number of people. It’s obvious that he genuinely believes that. There is nothing false about Kim Seokjin. His gratitude and humility are two more admirable qualities that make this man hard to judge or criticise. 

The mention of Seokjin stepping down from CEO one day had shocked you at first. Making plans for his month-long paternity leave was one thing, but to talk about gradually distancing himself from his role was something he’d never even mentioned. He was quick to reassure you that he wasn’t seriously thinking any of that, his mouth just had a habit of running away from him during nerve-wracking situations like a global magazine interview. It was true that he wanted to take more time for you and Sarang, not work such long hours, and to have stress-free weekends, but he wasn’t ready to leave everything he still loved so much. At least not right now. Who knows what the future holds, he told you. Maybe five years from now we’ll have Glob No.2 and I won’t want to step into the office ever again.

You liked thinking of the future these days. Of your future with him and Sarang…and Glob No.2. (But no No.3 like he’d also suggested!) Before the future never used to cross your mind, but you had so many new things to look forward to now. Your relationship, your baby, Yuna and Jimin’s wedding! Life was exciting and constantly changing, filled with things that had never crossed your mind this time last year. It was a great feeling, even when you struggled to stand on your feet for more than ten minutes right now…

As Seokjin’s 35th birthday was going to be overshadowed by Sarang’s arrival into this world, his parents insisted on celebrating early. It was a multitude of celebrations to tell the truth: Jin’s birthday, his interview, Sarang’s imminent arrival, the last hoorah before said arrival. 

Seokjin knew about it of course, he didn’t very much like surprises, and Mikyung had kept you updated every step of the way because you were too exhausted to help organise a thing. In fact, you were probably too exhausted to even attend the party. You were 39 weeks pregnant and hadn’t done much movement in over a week. You moved from the bedroom to the sofa, to the kitchen, to the sofa, to the bedroom again at the end of the day. It wasn’t a very fun existence, so with cutthroat determination, you were attending your man’s birthday party. Even if you sat down for most of the night and begged to go home by 8pm. 

Yuna did your hair and make-up, and even your nails. If the last few weeks of pregnancy had taught you anything, it was that you could get used to the kind of life where people did everything for you. You were due for a harsh reality check in ten days’ time, because your role was going to be well and truly reversed. You’d folded yourself into a grey velvet wrap dress, complete with chunky socks, before sliding your swollen feet into a trusty pair of Crocs – black this time. Fashion was the last thing on your mind at the moment, which was heart-breaking for the likes of you, but if you were being honest, it had taken a backseat a long time ago. 

The venue was stunning. Mikyung really had pulled out all the stops for her Seokjinie, the theme winter wonderland-esque in gold and creams. There was even an outdoor area decorated much the same, with the gazebo draped in string lights that twinkled in the dark. You wouldn’t be caught outside in mid-November weather, but each to their own. While the party was in the development stages, it had been a toss-up between a three-course meal or a buffet. In the end, down to a committee vote, buffet had won, which you were ecstatic about because you loved a good ol’ buffet. Jungkook was chuffed too and sat next to you munching on two plates piled high with every option available. 

The guest list wasn’t excessive, but it did include a few family members and friends you hadn’t met yet, and Seokjin introduced you to them with a very loving “this is my ____.” It made you beam and feel almost drunk, which you were most definitely not. Somewhere along the line you lost him, but you were in no condition to go and find him. Instead, you sat down at the corner table you’d nabbed for your own, and watched everyone having fun, amused and quietly laughing to yourself. It made you happy that there were so many people here celebrating Seokjin. 

Your brother was poking around what was left of the buffet, and your father and Yeonja were slow dancing together in the middle of the dancefloor. When the song changed abruptly, you watched them break apart awkwardly, unsure of how to continue. Your sister was sat on the opposite side of the room, on her phone, but occasionally you caught her glancing up and watching Hoseok who was now busting out some moves while Kang struggled to keep up. (Fun fact: Hoseok was a trained street dancer. You’d found out tonight.) Ah, not only was he way too old for her, but he was also gay. Maybe she’d realise both on her own, if not you’d let her down gently later. Jungkook was dancing with Haram. She was laughing as he spun her around. They both looked like they were having fun, which was nice to witness. It was a far cry from their behaviour at your dinner party all those weeks ago. 

Seokjin’s brother and wife were dancing with Taeoh and Jiu. His parents must be outside – crazy people. Namjoon and Yeeun were sat on a table; he whispered in her ear and made her giggle. Mari walked over, unintentionally interrupting them. Yuna and Jimin were nowhere to be seen. 

While deep in concentration, a figure suddenly leaned over you, blocking your view, and you looked up to see a joyful looking Seokjin. His face was flushed and his eyes shiny, but he wasn’t drunk. Now that you were close to the end, he refused to touch even a drop of alcohol. Just in case. 

He held out his hand. “Care to dance with me, my beautiful lady?” 

“How about a shuffle?” 

He chuckled. “I would want nothing more than to shuffle with you.” 

With a grin, you took his hand, and he helped your stiff body up. You needed to dance at least once, or just get on the dancefloor. Thankfully, the song changed as you got there, something slow and meaningful again. You looped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his around your waist and started to sway slowly. He looked hot in a tux. If you had the energy, you’d rough it up later tonight. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the case. 

“Happy early birthday,” you said, kissing him. 

One of Seokjin’s palms slid to your bump as he smiled against your mouth. He pulled back slightly. “I’m looking forward to my early gift.” 

“I love you, you know that, don’t you?” You didn’t know what it was, possibly the lyrics in the song you were dancing to, but the love you felt for him seemed to want to burst out of you. 

“I do know that,” he replied, his smile turning into a cheeky grin. “I love you more, though.” 

Laughing at how ridiculous he was, you gazed into one another’s eyes and continued to slow dance, Sarang in the middle. Even when the song shifted. Neither of you cared that you weren’t in time to the music. But before long, Yuna appeared at your side, tugging your arm. 

“I’m stealing your woman,” she told Seokjin, who knew not to put up too much of a fight. She dragged you into the centre of the room. “I’ve been waiting for you to get on the floor all night!” 

Well, she best make the most of it because she had exactly three more minutes before you gave out. You weren’t even moving your feet as she held your hands and moved your arms up and down, but you were both having fun, laughing and making noise. You span her around at one point, then felt a throb in your lower back. That was it. 

“Yuna, I can’t do anymore,” you shouted over the music, one hand clutching the offending area. 

“Party pooper!” she yelled, but she was grinning as she said it, kissing your cheek before you hobbled off, your feet killing you. 

You made your way back to your corner, flopping down on the chair with a groan. Seokjin had disappeared again, but you didn’t mind. You needed five. Unless your bladder decided it wanted to be emptied again. You’d spent enough of your time in the restroom already. As you were sending a silent prayer to your bladder, you felt a twinge low in your stomach. You didn’t think much of it as you’d been experiencing similar things for a few days anyway. At your last doctor’s appointment, it had been confirmed that your bump had dropped, and Dr. Choi had said you might start experiencing some aches and twinges here and there as labour drew closer. 

However, that twinge did feel a lot stronger, and your back was burning, but maybe it was because you’d been more active tonight than you had been for days – weeks even. As you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your lower back continued to throb. Your pain was interrupted by Kang coming over. He was breathing hard and sweat was beading from his hairline. The chair scraped across the floor as he threw himself down. “Not feeling it either?” you asked through gritted teeth. 

“Hoseok doesn’t even know I’m gone,” he laughed weakly, then furrowed his brow when he took you in. “You okay?” 

“I think I’ve hit my limit tonight,” you admitted, rubbing the underside of your bump. Maybe you should go find Seokjin and tell him you were going home. He could stay here, you didn’t mind, and you didn’t want to ruin his night. You were sure your dad could take you back, he hadn’t been drinking either because he had to drive back to the hotel he, Yeonja and your siblings were staying at for the night. 

“Should I ask one of the waiting staff for some water?” Kang asked, sounding concerned. 

You shook your head. “I’m fine.” Then belatedly remembered your manners. “Thank you.” 

Kang didn’t look like he believed you. 

“THERE YOU ARE!” Hoseok’s screech of a voice made you both jump, and you winced. Shit, your back felt as if it was on fire. “Don’t think you can sneak away from me, lover,” he told Kang, pulling at his hands. “Come dance again!” He noticed you then. “Hey, ____!” Then noticed your expression, instantly worried. “What’s wrong?” 

You sucked in a breath. “Nothing.” 

“It’s not nothing,” Kang said. He leaned over, brows knitted together. “Are you sure you’re all right? You look like you’re in pain.” 

You felt another—something. “I just—it’s just twinges.” They both saw your grimace. This wasn’t just a twinge. It was going on for a little longer, something inside you clenching. Stomach muscles maybe, or something else… “I should find Seokjin.” You jumped up with a buoyancy you didn’t know you had anymore, panic and pain driving your body. 

“Maybe he stepped outside. Let me—” 

Kang stopped abruptly when the sound of liquid splashed on the floor. There wasn’t much of it, and it was a similar sound to when you had a mug of tea filled too full and some slid over the brim and onto the floor as you walked. Only it was coming from between your legs, so it wasn’t tea. And you weren’t holding a mug. 

“Is that…?” The colour drained from Hoseok’s face, which did nothing for your nerves. You stared wide-eyed at Kang. You needed him right now. He was a nurse. He could make sense of the situation. Had you peed yourself? It wouldn’t be the first time. 

“____, don’t panic,” Kang began calmly, “but I think you might be in labour.” 

“I can’t be.” You shook your head, adamant. Or maybe it was because you couldn’t be going into labour here. Surrounded by your family and friends and even some people you didn’t know. “I’m not due yet. My doctor said I might feel some—things but I—” 

“____, your waters have broken,” Kang interrupted. Firmer this time. 

“Oh God, not here.” You crumbled, heart starting to race ninety to the dozen.

“Sit back down,” he ordered softly, getting you back down into the chair. You felt damp between your legs and your socks felt slightly wet and gross. “Hoseok, go and find Jin – as discreetly as possible,” he added, looking around. 

Good. The last thing you wanted to do was gain attention. But for how long that would be possible, you had no idea. You were in labour in the middle of a party. 

“On it,” Hoseok nodded purposefully and disappearing. 

No sooner had he gone, Jungkook was appearing in his place. “What’s going on here?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “ ____, wanna dance?” 

“I don’t think she’s up to it right now,” Kang replied, his hand on your back. 

Jungkook’s eyes widened as he took you in, and got wider when he noticed the floor. “Oh shit. Are you having the baby?” 

“She’s in labour, yes,” Kang answered for you. 

“Where’s Jin?” 

“Hobi went to find him.” He tugged on Jungkook’s suit jacket. “Come here, crowd a little so people don’t realise what’s going on.” 

Obliging, he hid you from view, the front of his shoe in your amniotic fluid! You made a strangled noise, but he didn’t seem to care. “Are you okay?” he asked, and he sounded panicked. 

“Sort of,” you winced, moving a little because of your back. “I’m a little mortified if anything.” 

In truth, you couldn’t quite believe it was happening. Surely you would have realised earlier? And surely you should be in more pain? You mean, yes, you were in pain right now, but shouldn’t it be worse? Or maybe it just hadn’t kicked in properly yet. Oh God, the thought made you nervous. Your hand was shaking as you brought it over your mouth, breathing out slowly. 

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Jungkook insisted. “I guess Sarang wanted to be a part of the fun too.” 

You managed a smile, grateful he was trying to make a joke. “Fuck, I really hope she won’t be born right here right now.” 

“You have a good few hours yet,” Kang reassured, still rubbing your back. “Don’t worry—” 

“____!” Seokjin exclaimed, racing towards you, shoes skidding on the floor. There was nothing discreet about the father of your baby. Not that you cared right now, you just wanted him. 

You reached out for him in panic, gripping his hand as he got closer. “Seokjin, she’s coming!” 

Kang moved so Seokjin could take his seat. “This suddenly?” he asked, taking over rubbing your back. You knew what he was thinking. He’d only seen you twenty minutes ago. His eyes were wide, his breathing coming out in loud puffs. 

“My back’s been aching more than usual today,” you started babbling. “I didn’t realise at first, I just thought it was—” You stopped when you felt another tightening sensation and looked up at Kang. “Are these contractions?” 

He nodded. “You’ve probably been in latent labour for a few hours.” 

Seokjin let out a shaky sigh. “We need to get to the birthing centre.” 

“Call first,” Kang advised. “You might get there just to be sent home otherwise.” 

“But she’s in labour!” Jungkook cried, then immediately clamped is jaw shut. Kang looked around but there was no one near your corner. Most people were on the dancefloor or outside. 

“Let’s go somewhere quieter at least,” Seokjin said, stroking some of your hair. “Yeah?” he murmured, kissing your cheek. 

You nodded, thankful. You didn’t want to be inside here one second longer. “Where are our parents?” 

“They’re all sat in the gazebo. Jiu’s running around like Road Runner out there. She’s even tiring Taeoh out.” 

Despite the situation, that got a laugh out of you. Jiu was getting confident on her tiny, little feet now. She was turning into a terror. 

“I’ll go let them know. You go,” Hoseok said. 

Seokjin smiled. “Thanks, Hobi.” He helped you up carefully. “Come on, let’s get you in the car. I’ll call the centre from there.” Leaning on him, he kissed your temple. “You’re okay,” he murmured.

“I’m okay,” you confirmed, psyching yourself up more than anything. You could do this. You had this. 

Kang stayed behind to wait for Hoseok while Jungkook followed you both as you tried to make a quick and undiscovered exit. You made it out the room successfully before you remembered something – no wait, someone. You clutched Seokjin’s arm. “Wait, where’s Yuna? I need her.” You needed your best friend. 

Jungkook looked back into the party. “I’ll go find her.” 

It was cold outside, but it was nice. You felt as if you’d been boiling up inside. You sat in the passenger’s seat of Seokjin’s car with the door open as he crouched in front of you, stroking up and down your thighs. 

“____! Oh my God,” Yuna cried, bursting out of the building, Jimin and Kang at her heels. The latter had your coat. 

“Yuna, a bit quieter,” Seokjin hissed, standing up. 

“Sorry,” she panted, her handbag gripped in her fingers. “Oh my God.” She got down low on the floor, replacing Seokjin. “Glob is coming!”

“I’m aware.” You felt another twinge—no, contraction—and held yourself rigid. 

She fussed over you a minute while Seokjin paced behind her. Jimin and Kang were talking quietly among themselves. “Did your waters break?” she asked. They didn’t for some, and you’d both been wondering if it would happen for you. 

“Yes. Oh shit, the floor!” Your neck snapped up and you stared over at Kang. 

“Jungkook asked someone for a mop and bucket, don’t worry. He said it was champagne.” 

Before you could squawk in horror – although, you had to admit that was very sweet of him to do that for you to avoid mortification – Seokjin’s phone started ringing. As he moved closer to you, you heard his mom’s frantic voice, but couldn’t make anything out. 

“It’s fine, mom. Everything’s fine,” Seokjin told her evenly, shooting calmness through your veins. If he could stay in one piece, so could you. Maybe. 

“I’m going to call the centre to see if we can check in. I’ll call you when I know more, all right?” His mother responded with something and he chuckled. “I will, don’t worry… Tell Minsoo and Yeonja she’s doing okay, please… Thank you. I better go. Bye.” 

Seokjin immediately got up the contact for the birth centre but made sure to check on you before he hit call, even as Yuna buzzed between you both. You squeezed his hand, trying to stay calm despite everything. The time had finally come, you were going to have your baby.  

Written 2022 - 2023. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2023

[twig-tea]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @telomeke and @waitmyturtles, thank you both for the tag!

Credit: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

I want you all to know before I start that asking for favourites is biphobic so you're going to have to ignore the places where I bent/ignored the rules about how many choices I was allowed to have. Also, this is so long, and took forever, I'm so sorry:

Favorite Thai QL:

I could caveat this until the end of time, but I'm going to go with the definition of "favourite" that's "has a special place in my heart" rather than necessarily "best"; and that's undoubtedly Until We Meet Again. I got very not normal about this show. When it was airing, I used to rewatch every episode before the new episode, and then rewatch the newly aired episode at least once before binging the show to date again. And I've binged it several times since. Sometimes if I need to cry, I'll put on the first 10 minutes and ugly-sob. This show felt like an apology and catharsis for years of built-up bury-your-gays induced trauma from queer media, in addition to a balm for all of the external relationship drama tropes in BL. I think I've talked about it around here somewhere before, how this show sets up all of the tropes for things that go wrong for couples in BL, and then everything is fine, over and over? And it was airing during the very start of the pandemic before the world was calling it a pandemic, when I was so worried about everything and governments hadn't caught up to being afraid yet, and I felt so alone, and this show over and over again said "it'll be ok", at a time I really needed to hear that. Plus it's got the whole epic-love-story-across-lives and the family acceptance redemption arc that as a still-only-partially-out-to-my-family-in-my-30s queer absolutely destroys me. Anyway, there are other shows that I would agree are as good or better (shout out to He's Coming to Me, I Told Sunset about You, Bad Buddy, Not Me, The Eclipse), but UWMA remains my fave (and gets two gifs for being top spot).

Favorite Pairing: I have seen this interpreted as branded pairs & as fictional couple, so I'm going to take that excuse to answer both questions. I'm honestly not a fan branded pairs as a thing and agree with @lurkingshan's comments on this, I tend to prefer it when people continuously work with different actors. That being said, JoongDunk seem to be having a lot of fun with the whole fanservice game, which is fun to watch for as long as they're enjoying themselves and continue to be in on the joke, which seems to be the case.

Fictional couple? Right at this moment I am still thinking about Khatha and Dome from Midnight Museum. I think this one hit me in my Chinese epics button, because the story felt a lot like a danmei (not the least because you could argue it reads as censored bromance). But this show asks questions about fate, God, the devil, multiverses, and then has its characters choosing to reject all of the above in order to choose each other? SIGN ME UP. Legitimately it's the most fun I've had watching a tv show in awhile, it was bananas, and I loved the journey of Khatha figuring out who Dome was in relationship to Chan, and deciding to love Dome as Dome, at the same time that Dome was also figuring out who he was, and deciding he preferred who he was when he was with Khatha. But also just Tor + Gun are incredible actors (Tor having been a stand-out since Hormones and Gun of course since The Blue Hour) and I would watch either of them in anything, but together they were magnetic (and evidence for my earlier point re: branded pairs, as much as I enjoy Off & Gun together!).

Most underrated actor: I'm going to say James Teeradon. He had a few small roles in Hormones 2 & 3, Diary of Tootsies, and The Stranded, and he had the main role in Project S: Skate our Souls and in Great Men Academy. First, I should say, you could argue none of these classify as BLs. Second, all of these have trigger warnings, so please take care of yourself and feel free to ask if you want content warnings. But he's one of those actors who never looks like the same person in each role he's playing, and he absolutely gives me shivers. His performance as Boo in Skate our Souls was legitimately chill-inducing--this one in particular has serious trigger warnings, I put off watching it for a long time because I knew about the warnings and waited until I was in the right headspace, and it still messed with me for weeks. But oh man, oh man that show, it rewrote part of my DNA. I don't even know that under-rated is fair to say since there was buzz around him when he was in these shows a few years ago, but he was trying to make it as part of a band for awhile and he hasn't been in much since. If there's one person I want to see in something else who a lot of other people don't talk about these days, it's James.

Cheating and taking the opportunity to choose a second actor from definitely-a-BL series: Fluke Chinnathan from Second Chance the Series. While Second Chance had a lot of flaws, the acting by Fluke and Tong was stellar. Their micro-expressions and body language was unreal. I feel strongly enough about this that I wrote an ode to it as part of the BL-Bracket for best kiss scene. No idea what Fluke is up to or if he even wants to keep acting, but I'd love to see him in something else--he's one of the only other actors (than James, mentioned above) that I'll go in to MyDramaList occasionally just to check to see if they're in anything new. PS if you do give Second Chance a shot, please know going in that Run and Games, real life brothers who are both actors, are both in this series but never in a scene together, and their characters are similar, so a lot of people have trouble telling them apart without knowing there are two different characters in the show.

(Also, I 100% would have said Suar for this question before La Pluie, because he did not get enough credit for You're My Sky and I think he was incredible).

Favorite Character: Honestly, I've deleted my answer to this so many times now. Choosing one is so hard! I'm going to go with White from Not Me. Incredibly loyal, strong moral values (but willing to break the rules/law to fulfil those values because he understands that law ≠ morality), self-sacrificing, extremely competent in some ways, but also has serious blind spots in others that leads to him making very silly choices especially around who they trust, lacking in self esteem especially around whether or not people will want him around. The way he chooses to give up his privilege--not for his brother, because he could have found a way to go back to his old life after everything if he wanted--because he saw what was wrong with all of it and decided to do what he could to help fix it (and not participate in it) is something that really resonated with me. I also love that he is an absolute marshmallow who cannot hide that fact. Plus White being a disaster bi who wanted Sean from the beginning endeared him to me forever. And it doesn't hurt that he's played by Gun Atthaphan

Favorite Side Character: I have also started and stopped this section so many times. Natty and her absolutely terrible taste in women from Diary of Tootsies, Na being at some points the only reason I kept watching Tonhon Chonlatee, Namo being smart enough to know to pretend she doesn't know what's going on in Not Me, Tong the ecovillage owner from Bad Buddy, Daisy and their incredible gender and mix of self esteem + self esteem issues in Secret Crush on You.

Alright I'm giving it to Dream in Something in My Room. I don't have good reasons for this; her character was artistic, had supernatural powers, green asymmetrical hair, and was stoic with a hidden dark past, and I am a simple woman. I wanted to know everything about her.

Favorite scene in a QL: How can I choose just one?! I'm choosing three and you can't stop me.

Third place, Not Me, with Sean and White under the pride flag. It has everything: It's iconic, it's cinematic, it's cathartic, it's political, it's a critical character moment, it has great music, it's full of queer joy, and it brings me so much happiness every time I see it.

Second: Dean and Pharm in front of the Pra Aphai Mani & sea ogress sculptures in the aquarium in Until We Meet Again. Partially because I love aquariums so much, partially because this sequence is one of the first ones we really get to see the hints of Intouch in Pharm. The way he moves around that aquarium is nothing like how he moves at school or his condo, and it's one of the things that struck me so hard on rewatch; while that scene did so much work towards establishing their characters the first time around, the second+ time it has so much more meaning. The throwaway line by Pharm about relating to the ogress now gives me chills.

Plus the way the aquarium scene got called back in I Promise You the Moon makes me really happy.

But first and top, the one that will forever live in my mind for the way it made me feel in my body: Teh and Oh-Aew on the rug in I Told Sunset About You. That moment, my god. Butterflies. Chills. Chewing glass. Devastation. I don't know that I've ever felt any other scene so viscerally; it transported me back to being a teenager and cuddling in clearly non-platonic ways with my bestie and wondering what was happening. Thinking about it now still gives me goosebumps. Maybe a bit of a weird choice because of the pain but I don't shy away from some pain in my faves!

Favorite line in a QL: Honestly I could put one of several meaningful quotes in here, probably the ones I've thought about most being the one from Bad Buddy that a few other folks have noted ("I may not be able to change the world but the world can't change me either"); and "can't we just get a little bit of space?" from The Warp Effect that I mentioned in my Silvy appreciation post. but the first thing that came to mind was this cracktastic banger moment from En of Love: This is Love Story that runs through my head every time a character P-Nong's someone when they don't mean it like that (and especially when newbies get confused about whether characters are actually related):

"'P' but not brothers; the way 'daddy' [said in English] doesn't really mean father. You get it?"

--Param, being a little shit (affectionate)

But also I think special mention needs to go to this new and immediate classic by Tien in La Pluie:

Most Anticipated QL (& why): I am very excited for 23.5 and Only Friends, also WuJu Bakery (does that count if it's Korean but starring Thai actors?) but....This is niche and might never happen, but MindTrio announced awhile ago that they were going to put out Chemistry in Love, which was either a sequel or related to Calculating Love? Listen, this is a low-budget production company making a slightly quirky trope-filled shorts that tend to have pretty cinematography but falter a bit on plot and pacing, and in Calculating Love the main character hits on his love interest with a series of math/graphing equations and coffee. I fully acknowledge that I am a particular kind of nerd, but I just really, really want to see people flirting with their Extremely Geeky special interests. Some sort of of follow-up to Calculating Love has been a maybe-thing since 2020, so it's most anticipated by amount of time I've been waiting. I have a list of 290 "upcoming" shows that may or may not ever happen so I'll stop there.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: I was very persuaded by @waitmyturtles' arguments re: King and Uea, and I thought about My Only 12% and even wrote a whole thing about Tinn and Gun from MSP before deleting it.

But I'm going to use this soapbox to give a hot take and say, by the end of the series, that it's Nuea and Toh from Secret Crush on You. Both of them have secretly loved each other for the whole series, and shown it in their own very unhealthy ways: Toh by keeping a collection of everything that reminds him of Nuea, and Nuea by being extremely cool-guy persona around Toh. But by the end, both of them have aired their insecurities about their relationship, and have committed to working on their relationship together. Toh stops assuming that they will break up (which Nuea explained was hurtful to him) and declares he'll fight for their relationship in front of Nuea's parents, and Nuea allows himself to be seen as very uncool through his vulnerability, and is more open about his uncool thoughts and feelings. I remember them being surprisingly healthy about jealousy too, once they're together, showing trust in one another when that photography club kid shows up. Nuea also makes a really sweet gesture that I think gets misunderstood at the end of the show; Toh explains that his collection makes him happy, that Nuea is more important so he'll give it up if he has to but he really, really does not want to. So Nuea finds a way to make the collection about them rather than about him, so that he can embrace it too and be less discomfited by it. I feel like there's not enough "meeting people where they are", and too many makeover fantasies in romance for my tastes. Instead, Secret Crush on You said listen, people are weird, and we all just need to find the other weirdos whose jagged edges fit with ours. And it's work figuring out together how they will fit, and they won't fit perfectly, but that's ok. As long as everyone is comfortable, it can be a little weird. It may be less realistic than say the way similar themes are handled in Utsukushii Kare, because behavioural change (especially around self-worth) is hard irl, but the question wasn't about which relationship is most realistic lol SCOY also said embrace cringe culture and I am here for it even if it is sometimes hard to watch because it is SO CRINGE; but I respect it for living its truth.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Oof. I am a strong believer in "if it works for them, that's their business", as is probably evident from above, but the reveal of what was going on with King and Peat in Love Area (parts 1 & 2) was really next level BS and managed to be both toxic and ableist, so it gets a special mention and no gif.

Guilty pleasure series: I don't really subscribe to feeling guilty about liking things, but I have a bunch that don't get a lot of love and I fully understand why lol In addition to the example of Calculating Love above (which is like, a 6 on MDL, and TBH harsh but fair), I really enjoyed I Will Knock You. Maybe it was just the novelty but I loved the character of Noey so much, his vintage aesthetic, the amount of time spent around and in temples, and the most adorable closing credit sequence of all time (shows that have closing credit sequences that reflect the main relationship in the show is one of my favourite tropes!). The criticisms about it, especially the ones about the Thi character, are fully valid and I would not actually recommend it without a lot of caveats (e.g. warnings for blushing virgin trope + age gap, and sooort of glorification of gang membership?), but I had a great time.

Also maybe Y-Destiny episodes 9 & 10? Tohru and First as Kaeng and Puth, whew. I have a special place in my heart for storylines where the characters sleep together as friends with benefits and then have to renegotiate those boundaries because I've lived it more than once lol (Only Friends when?!). But the ending episode for the series was actually so offensively bad, I like to forget it exists.

Most underrated series: You're My Sky and He's Coming to Me have already gotten a lot of love so I'll just say YES to those. Would have said My Ride before this recent release to YT. Does Triage count if it's nominated for awards but nobody ever talks about it (probably because the distribution was so messy)? I think My Only 12% doesn't get enough love because of the pacing of the last episodes, but the rest of the show was SO good.

But I'm going to take this opportunity to get on a sandbox about Diary of Tootsies (spanning S1, S2, and the movie sequel Tootsies and the Fake).

This show is not BL; it is decidedly queer. There is no single love story, and if there is, it's undermined. And yet, because it's a comedy, it also gets overlooked in the lists of Important Queer Viewing (which is fair, honestly, that is not a read). But it means my blorbo of a show often doesn't get hyped up, so I'm taking the opportunity.

This show I would argue sits squarely in the by/for/about queers category as per @wen-kexing-apologist’s by/for/about Venn diagram. Watching it feels like a group hug; it's so very clearly written by actual queer people (even if this wasn't confirmed everywhere online, the screenwriter is out and speaks about this, but it's also just obvious) and I recognize so much of my friends and people I've known in these messy queers. It deals with casual sex, drug use, HIV, adoption, being closeted at work, and more.

It is also so funny. I didn't think I liked toilet humour until Make it Right and Diary of Tootsies proved me wrong. I honestly think about the scene with Natty and the handbag in the car approximately once a month. And the opening sequence of the sequel film!! What a choice for opening credits. And these queer friends are mean to one another, even in the moments they're being supportive of one another, and it is both familiar and delightful (also reminds me of this post by @bengiyo about whether viewers still love us when we're mean). The found family tropes are STRONG in this one, friends.

There is some fatphobia, though I always struggle with how much to warn for that because this show also has one of the only fat characters in QL who gets a character arc, a love interest, and to be a whole person. And to dance! The dance sequencesssss especially in S2, oh my heart. So much queer joy in this show in general!

Last thing I'll say about this show is that it also gets left off people's lists because the "main couple" if you can say there is one is not the one most fans were rooting for--I will admit, myself included. But the narrative convinced me to be satisfied with what we got, which is honestly to its credit!

Anyway TL;DR Diary of Tootsies makes me extremely happy and I'm glad it exists.

OMG ok I am letting this go now. Tagging @redxblueihateloveyou because you've not been active for awhile so this way you'll see this whenever you come back, and @formayhem because we are newly buds and I'd be curious about your answers! At this point everyone else must have been tagged by now, so please just consider yourself tagged if you haven't done this yet and tag me so I see it! I've been loving reading everyone's answers.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Running from the Flames {13}

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x OFC Warnings: 18+ only, fluff - this is a work of fiction and the events are not based on reality. Chapter: One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten || Eleven* || Twelve || Thirteen || Fourteen || under construction

While the rest of Alpine were hard at work trying to fix the issues on Pierre’s car, there was nothing more he could do until the final practice session in the morning. They weren’t expecting to finish anytime soon so Otmar had to make the call to cancel the team dinner and instead ordered catering to be delivered straight to the pit. 

“You guys can head off if you want,” Otmar offered after getting off the phone with Sergio’s Pizzeria, which had won the vote from the team. “No point in boring Addie by hanging around here.”

Addie was hardly bored, she had happily sat at a table with my phone watching Frozen and was oblivious to the action around her, but it would be good to get her out of the busy pit. 

“Dad was going to come to the team dinner but should we invite him out instead?” I asked Pierre as he came back to my side after going off to chat with Charles a few minutes ago. 

He nodded but nervously scratched his beard. “Let’s hope I make a better impression.”

I pulled his hand away from his face and combed the wayward hairs of his beard flat again before helping myself to a quick kiss. “He was impressed with your interview today. I’m not sure if he was expecting you to throw hands with Lewis after that photo went viral.”

Pierre chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I’m a lover not a fighter, plus, I trust you. I know how close you are to the OG’s.” 

“The OG’s?” I laughed. 

“That’s what we call the drivers that have been around forever, not to their face of course.”

“Lewis would probably embrace it, the others not so much. Should we go?”

“In a few minutes, Elsa’s about to save Anna.” I cocked an eyebrow at his knowledge of the film and he sent me a charming smile back. “What? I can’t enjoy a Disney movie too?”

“You won’t by the time she’s made you rewatch them twenty million times.” I pulled out of his embrace and went to pick up the colouring books and crayons Addie had finished with but a hiss of pain slipped through my gritted teeth. A strong arm curled around my waist and took the weight off my leg that had gone stiff while standing still for too long.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Pierre asked as he scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the table where Addie was waiting. He lowered me gently into the seat beside her before packing up the backpack I had brought with things to entertain her. He swung the bag over his shoulders and bent down to pick me up again but I shook my head.

“I’m fine, I just need a couple of ibuprofen,” I assured him but it was just as dad walked in and he frowned down at us. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Your daughter is being stubborn,” Pierre said as he ran his hand through his hair, tugging the strands in frustration. 

“He’s just over reacting,” I corrected and tried to prove my point by standing up but the joint wouldn’t shift and I fell back into the seat. 

“Stubborn woman,” Pierre muttered as he ignored my narrowed eyes and lifted me in his arms. 

“Bri, if your leg is hurting you need to keep off of it, you know this.”

I crossed my arms but then thought better of it and draped them around Pierre’s neck in case he dropped me. “If you haven’t noticed, but I have a toddler, I can’t exactly go and put my feet up with a cuppa.”

Dad sighed and I figured he was remembering what I was like at that age. God knows what sort of trouble I would have got into if there wasn’t someone chasing after me. “How about I take Addie for the night? You can rest up and hopefully it’ll be better in the morning.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course,” he huffed like he was offended, “I love spending time with my favourite granddaughter. I’ll go bring the golf cart around, Pierre, Otmar wouldn’t be happy if you put out your back before the race.”

“It’s no trouble for me, sir,” he said, looking effortless as he carried me to the back exit so the main garage didn’t see the fuss. “Can you pass mama her phone, princesse?” 

Pierre had noticed the movie had finished and she handed it up to me so I could slip it in my pocket. It wouldn’t be the first time she had fallen with it and smashed the screen and I didn’t really want that inconvenience again. 

“Are you hurting again?” she asked innocently but I felt Pierre’s eyes narrowing on me again.

“Just a little bit, babygirl, but Grandad’s going to take you to his hotel for the night for a sleepover and when you see me tomorrow I’ll be all better okay?”

She bounced excitedly around us and completely forgot about my pain and I was grateful to have dad there. It was my job to worry about her but I didn’t like it when it was the other way around and staying with grandad would be a good distraction for her.

We reached the FIA golf cart that the officials used to ride around the paddock and Pierre climbed in the back with me on his lap while dad and Addie rode up front. Dad took it slow and I rolled my eyes before telling him to hurry up, something he promptly ignored.

“He’s got precious cargo onboard,” Pierre whispered in my ear.

His words reminded me that I still hadn’t given him his gift and I reached into my handbag for the box, offering it to him with a smile. He carefully shifted me so he could still hold me and undo the wrapping paper and ribbon. 

The box creaked open and his lips parted with a sharp breath as he ran his thumb over the simplistic yet delicate design. His throat bobbed with a deep swallow and he looked like he was going to say something before the words failed and he dipped his head to mine, putting all those lost words into something I understood. 

“Merci, mon ange,” he murmured against my lips. 

“You’re very welcome.”

“I know you are both adults but that’s still my daughter,” Dad growled from the front and we pulled apart with a laugh. Well, I laughed, Pierre’s ears turned pink and he looked everywhere but forward to where my dad was glaring daggers in the rearview mirror.

“Sorry, sir.”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” I reminded him quietly as I unclasped the necklace and placed it around his neck. “You’re just feeding his ego. I’m pretty sure it’s in the FIA job description.”

“If I saw my daughter kissing some guy I wouldn’t be happy.”

“You’re not just ‘some guy’, so he will have to eventually get used to it.”

The cart pulled up to the parking lot that was reserved for the teams and Pierre gave him the directions to his Audi. When dad parked in front of the SUV he turned in his seat and stared at Pierre. “I’m glad to see you aren’t driving my girls around in a tin can and you seem to be taking care of them but I’ll be keeping my eye on you.”

“Jesus, dad, you’re not in the mafia, chill out.”

Dad shook his head. “I took my eye off you once and I nearly lost you, sweetheart, I’m not going to let that happen again.”

“Damien,” Pierre addressed him directly and returned the intense eye contact that was directed at him, “I would never hurt Brianna or Adelaide. I care for them both very much.”

Dad nodded and turned off the cart so he could unbuckle Addie before holding his hand out to shake Pierre’s. “You keep them safe and we will get along perfectly.”

Pierre gripped his hand and they shook on the deal before climbing out of the cart and putting me in the front passenger seat of the Audi. Dad strapped Addie into her car seat after checking it was installed correctly and I saw another look of appreciation hidden in his hazel eyes. 

“I’ll come pick you soon, little bug, and don’t forget to pack your snuggly.”

He closed the door and gave us a wave before taking the golf cart back where it belonged. As soon as he was moving away I turned and grinned at Pierre. 

“What?” he asked, becoming self conscious as my smile only widened.

“He likes you!” I took his hand in mine and kissed his knuckles. “You were so worried about making a better impression, all you had to do was sweep me off my feet.”

“Somehow I don’t think that’s what it was. You really think he likes me?”

“I do, and he's probably on the phone to mum right now telling her all about it. She’ll want to meet you and that will be like a cross examination.” 

Pierre’s eyes widened and he looked at me. “What?” 

“I’m kidding, babe.”

“Thank god,” he breathed a sigh of relief and ran his hand over my thigh. “How are you feeling?”

“It’s fine when I’m not standing on it. It’s really strange, normally it only gets sore when it’s cold or the weather is about to turn.” I looked out the window to see the sky was still a vivid blue though the sun was reaching for the horizon. “I can’t see any rain clouds.”

“Nothing’s come up in the rain radar, or we would have been testing for wet tyres. Maybe it’s just overuse?”

“Too much activity in the bedroom?” I offered with a wink. “Maybe we should take a break?”

“No,” he replied rather quickly, “that is the perfect amount of activity. I mean we did a lot of walking in Narbonne and Marseille.”

“Maybe…” I wasn’t convinced but at this point I didn’t care why it was hurting, I just wanted to know how to make it better.

Click here for chapter fourteen.

Tagging: @anotheroneiforgot @my-only-way-tocooperatewithlife

[gallavichthings]

Writer's Spotlight - Rita

This interview is long overdue and has been long in the making! I'm super pleased and excited to finally present a friend and my right arm on this blog, Rita aka @sickness-health-all-that-shit aka whatyouandihave on AO3, author of Lifeline, Possiblities, Short&sweet and several other fics, and some great gifs too!

R: I grew up in a small-ish town, dreaming about going to university, finding a job I loved, and living on my own with a cat as my companion. I'd say my 13-year-old self would be pretty happy with how my life turned out! I've always been into tv shows and films, plus languages and literature (that's what I mainly studied at uni) and I've managed to find a job that combines those things, which is the absolute dream! I translate and adapt lines into Italian so that dubbing actors can replace the original dialogues of movies, tv shows, documentaries and the like. Besides reading and writing and watching shows, I love travelling, enjoying good food and spending time with my family.

GT: Oh, that's a great job! It looks like you're living your dream, and I'm very happy for you! I assume you must watch all kinds of shows for your job, but what do you watch in your leisure time?

R: Yeah, for work I've had to watch plenty of children's cartoons, anime and lots of unscripted programs like reality television, cooking competitions and things like that. All stuff I would not watch in my spare time 😁 Some of my favourite shows are Btvs, Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, The Office, Outlander, Derry Girls, Peaky Blinders, Dexter and Shameless. I also watch a lot of British comedy panel shows (Taskmaster, QI, Big fat quiz of the year etc) and stand up comedy.

GT: Oh, some of my favorites on this list! Do you read/write fics for these other fandoms as well?

R: Nope! I actually came to fanfic pretty late, despite all the years spent lurking in fandom spaces. I only really started reading fics about 4 years ago, and that was after the Ian and Mickey prison reunion, having binged the first 8 seasons of Shameless a few months before that. I had read a couple fics for other fandoms over the years, but I honestly wasn't that interested. I was content with just rewatching the shows I loved and maybe making up my own headcanons, but nothing more. I guess you could say Ian and Mickey have made a fanfiction convert out of me!

GT: What was it about them that you think made you want to write your own fics, especially coming into the fandom late, as you said yourself, when there were already a lot of fics written.

R: Honestly, it just looked like so much fun to play around with them and all the themes you could explore through their story. When I first started reading fics, it opened so many avenues in my mind (I was so convinced I wouldn't be into AUs at first. Wrong!) and I was also reading tons of meta that had been posted on Tumblr over the years, which I had a lot of thoughts about. I think part of it was about needing a creative outlet at that point. I hadn't really written fiction before, and definitely not in English, but I think I'd always wanted to try and write stories. Building a world and creating characters from scratch would have been way too daunting, but playing around with my Ian and Mickey 'dolls' was instant, cathartic fun. There's just so much potential there, so much history and emotional depth to these characters and their love story that keep me coming back to them over and over.

GT: Do you tend to write more from Ian's or Mikey's pov?

R: I alternate a lot depending on the vibe of fic, but I guess maybe Ian's? The longest multichapter I have up is almost entirely written in Ian's pov, and one fic I'm writing at the moment that's gonna be longer than my usual is also from his pov. I have a lot of fun with Mickey's, but I really love exploring Ian's inner world in depth.

GT: What do you consider your forte when writing fic, the thing that comes to you more easily? And what do you struggle with sometimes?

R: I love writing dialogue the most, and I think I'm pretty good at making it sound in character for them and nailing their voice. I definitely struggle with descriptions and maybe pacing. I'd love to write a slow burn but I don't think they're for me. I get too impatient lol

GT: What kind of fics do you write the most? 

R: I mostly write one-shots, but hope to work on more multichapters in the future. I've also posted a series of short ficlets. Lots of fluff, some angst, though always with a happy or at least hopeful ending. Maybe someday I'll try my hand at some smut? Who knows. A lot of my fics tend to be either canon compliant fill-ins that expand on canon scenes or different first meeting AUs, especially meet-uglies. I also like including Mandy and exploring her friendship with Ian and sibling relationship with Mickey. I love writing banter and sprinkling in humour in my fics.

GT: I'm a huge sucker for meet-uglies! Which of your fics are you the proudest of?

R: Oh, the one I'm most proud of has got to be The stranger in my brother's bed. It was my first stab at a multi-chapter, my first AU and a chance to play around with different POVs and an unfolding plot. It's also still my most popular fic to date. It's very sweet and fluffy and warm. When it comes to one-shots my favourite I've written is probably Unexpected, a dialog-heavy meet-ugly with lots of banter and flirting. And then there's Caught me by surprise, my second attempt at a multi-chapter that's still currently a WIP. I do hope to finish those last two chapters someday, but I'm proud of it all the same. It's the longest thing I've written and I got to have fun with tropes like Fake dating, Secret relationship and Bed sharing.

GT: Are there any tropes or ideas you haven't had a chance to explore yet but you'd like to someday?

R: I'd like to write some fill-ins for the early seasons, especially exploring Mickey's pov. Of course a lot of amazing fics like that exist already, but it'd be a chance to expand on my headcanons and do some interesting character studies. Other than that, I have a few ideas for plot-heavy stories that sometimes I think might be too ambitious for me but also can't get out of my head. If I ever write them, they may feature tropes such as Childhood friends, Soulmate AU, Private investigator AU, and even a Genie AU, though fantasy is definitely not my go-to genre. I'd also love to write an angsty Enemies to lovers or a classic Roommates AU. And maybe some canon divergent stuff.

GT: Where do you get inspiration from?

R: Movies and tv shows I watch, stories I read or random posts I see on Tumblr are all potential sources of inspiration for me. Sometimes I'll get particularly obsessed with a line a character said in canon or a certain scene and a story just forms in my head around it. And when all else fails, I go looking for a prompt that speaks to me to get things going.

GT:What about motivation? Do you force yourself to take time to write or do you wait for motivation to strike randomly?

R: I'm still trying to find a balance that works when it comes to motivation, to be honest. I've gone many months waiting for motivation to strike, and getting more and more frustrated and disappointed the longer I waited in vain for it to come. Other times I'll try to force it, but end up convincing myself I have lost any ability to write I once had 😅 I definitely work better with some sort of deadline and 'peer pressure'. That's why I'm trying to participate in as many fandom events as I can at the moment. I struggle with anxiety, so I used to think it would be too stressful for me, but I need some structure in order to be productive. And sometimes it is a matter of getting yourself to write a little bit (almost) every day, just to move things along and keep the momentum going.

GT: What's your writing process like?

R: If it's something long or plot heavy I'll prepare a bit of an outline first, but I'm not generally big on outlines. When I go to write, I'm usually sitting on my bed or couch with my laptop. I tried having music on or ambient sounds, but honestly I work better in silence. I think of the scene I want to describe and the thoughts and feelings I want to convey and watch it as a film in my head, hearing the characters voice the dialogue. Then I put it all into words, if they behave that day and just come to me 😁 I first do a rough draft, trying not to edit too much as I go but just keeping going until I reach either the end of the story (in the case of a short-ish one-shot) or a good stopping point. Then once it's done I start editing, filling in details I left out, double checking things online and making various changes until I'm reasonably satisfied with it. At that point I'll send it over to my beta reader.

GT: Do you write about other characters or ships as well? If not, would you someday?

R: No, not really. Even if I include other Shameless characters, the focus is always on Ian and Mickey and their relationship. And I don't think I'll ever write about anyone else. I have a bit of a one-track mind when it comes to ships and fandoms. I can only really focus on one at a time, and even if I love lots of other shows and media, I don't feel the need to create for them, or be all that involved. I think that, beyond my fascination with Ian and Mickey as characters and as my all-time favourite ship, this fandom space and the community I share this passion with has a lot to do with my continued participation in it. I don't think I'd be still writing and posting fic if it wasn't for all the wonderful people that create and enjoy fanworks about Ian and Mickey alongside me. They're a huge part of what inspires me and motivates me to keep creating.

GT: Definitely. It's incredible to me how much the fandom has grown and changed, while still being welcoming.

What about OCs, do you have any? Do you create them based on real people or just whatever you need them for?

R: I only occasionally create OCs for specific purposes, though most often I try to cast other Shameless characters in the roles I need if possible. I had fun with Mr. Binckley in my most recent fic for GGE, The Ghost of Christmas Fuck You, and last year, again for GGE, I created two OC children for How I met your dad. I don't see myself using them for other fics in the future, though I really admire writers who can create fully fleshed out OCs and have them recur in more than one of their stories.

GT: What about reading fics, what makes you choose something to read (and what would make you give up on reading something)?

R: I usually trust authors I already know and love, and who tend to write the sort of fics I go for anyway. But I'll give any story a chance if the premise sounds intriguing. So a good summary will draw me in, for sure. I love any kind of meet-cute or meet-ugly, and enemies or friends-to-lovers. I'll read fluff, smut or angst depending on my mood, but always with a happy ending. I like any sort of AU, but I steer away from fantasy in general, and prefer things set in the present day (though I do enjoy science fiction as a genre so space, time travel, etc. might attract me to a fic). I don't read a/b/o, mpreg or mcd. I'll give up on reading something if it's just a wall of text or riddled (and I do mean riddled) with typos. Also if I feel that something is written way too out of character to the point where I barely recognise them as Ian and Mickey.

GT: Can you name some of those authors you already know and love?

R: Sure! @goodkwuestion, @beckyharvey29, @damnnmilkovich, @gallavichy, @jellovich, devovitsuasartes and @crazynadine are some of my all-time favourites.

GT: What about some favorite fics?

R: You can bite me by Shamelessquestions, all comes down to you by BeckyHarvey29, Bad Date by @thevioletjones, the Southside Forever series by proval, You make me feel human by Dragona, Two of your earth minutes by @the-rat-wins, So Sleeping fucking Beauty, right? by @cjmarlowe, sideways by @whaticameherefor, Maintenance by devovitsuasartes, Love is a ballfield by and_i_take_it. There are many others, but these are some of the ones that have really stayed with me.

GT: Do you ever reread fics?

R: Oh yeah, I've definitely reread some of the ones above. I've been in a reading slump for a long while now though, which is why the fics I've mentioned are almost all older ones, and a lot of those writers aren't active anymore. There are so many amazing new authors writing brilliant fics at the moment, but often I end up just reading snippets of their work or their drabbles on Tumblr, so that's why I haven't mentioned them here. I've got so many incredible fics to catch up on! But brains are weird like that, you know?

GT: Oh, I totally get that! What about your own, do you reread those?

R: Not often. I tend to publish something and then not look at it again, focusing on the next project instead. There's a little bit of a cringey feeling for me when I think about rereading my own fics, but then when I do happen to read a bit of one I'm like 'Hey. This is good, actually. I do not remember writing this, but wow. Good job, me.' 😆

GT: You make gifs too, right? Have you ever made a gifset for a fic, yours or someone else's?

R: Yep! I've made a single gif for my most recent fic, The Ghost of Christmas Fuck You, and also for an older one, Ready to do this. I really want to make gifs/graphics for my fics more often in the future, actually. And I once made a gifset inspired by a quote from Cooperative gameplay by grayola.

GT: Do you make moodboards or playlists when planning a fic?

R: Hmm not really. I sometimes look up images to help me visualise a particular scene, but it's not a regular habit of mine.

GT: Let's talk about Shameless. You said you binged the first 8 seasons? That must have been a wild ride.

R: Haha oh, yeah. I remember watching the first 5 seasons in just one week, then slowing down considerably for s6 and s7, and I think season 8 took me a full month to get through. At that point s9 was a couple of months away, and I alternated between a faint hope for some kind of reunion between Ian and Mickey and just bitter disappointment for the state of the show such as it was at that stage. I absolutely died when the prison reunion happened. I watched that scene on a loop for days, and when I came back up for air I went looking for all the fics I could find. Especially ones set in prison or detailing their life after prison, since I was so convinced they were off the show for good. But of course that's not how it went. What a wild ride indeed! Those days were so crazy for me lol

GT: How did it feel to come into such a large, albeit somewhat asleep at the time, fandom?

R: It was weird because I wasn't on Tumblr at the time. I'd had a blog before but then left for a few years and once I got into Shameless I didn't immediately come back to it. I looked up news about the show on Reddit of all places. Then around the time I started reading fic, I found a little blog called gallavichthings ❤️ where I caught up on all the meta that had been written over the years (and gifsets and art and everything else). I only made my new blog when s10 was about to start, right around the time I posted my first fic on AO3. And at that point the fandom was being revived by I&M being on the show again and by the news that they'd be getting married by the end of season 10. It was my first real experience of being active in a fandom like this, so it was pretty wild for me. It was definitely not as nice and chill as it is nowadays, that's for sure.

GT: Awn, I'm glad to be part of your Gallavich journey. 

Are you able to select a favorite season, seeing as you saw them kind of all together?

R: Oof the earlier seasons are all so special in their own ways. But when I got to season 4, the grip this show had on me had reached the highest levels. Despite Ian being gone for so much of it, or maybe because of it, since his absence was so deeply felt and instrumental for us to see sides of Mickey we hadn't seen before. I'm a sucker for some good pining. And then the second half of the season was such a rollercoaster of emotions... Ugh. Plus it was also an amazing season for the other characters (Fiona especially, who I love so much). So dark and intense, and it felt like a more 'adult' season than previous ones. It just hurt so good.

GT: What's your favorite episode overall?

R: It's hard to choose a favourite, but I think ep 4x11, Emily.

GT: Oh, that's a fantastic one! What about a favorite scene?

R: Maybe the s5 dugouts scene in 5x10. The way it's filmed, the lighting, the music, the rawness of the emotions... it hurts like hell to watch them hurt each other, but then there's that sense of release, and of new hope when they're finally on the same page again and happy... and then it gets taken away from them, because we can't have nice things. But that scene is such a little gem, and it never fails to make me feel all the feels.

GT: If you could go back and change only one thing about the show, what would you change?

R: The quality drop in the later seasons? lol. Honestly, as happy as I am that we got to see Ian and Mickey get married and be husbands, the show was just unrecognisable by the end. So I'd have it end sooner. Have the s7 finale be the final episode of the show, but with a happy ending for Ian and Mickey, obviously.

GT: Speaking of, what did you think of the ending?

R: I wish I could say I was satisfied with it, but yeah, no. It was way too open ended, I only liked where they left things for Ian and Mickey, and I should count myself lucky for that, really. The parallels they tried to do with the pilot and season 1 mostly fell flat for me, but then, like I said, the show was a shadow of its former self by that point. There was too little left to enjoy for me. I don't think I would've watched s10 and 11 at all if it wasn't for Ian and Mickey.

GT: How do you headcanon Ian and Mickey's life together after the ending?

R: I think they live in that apartment for a couple years, then get a house closer to where they grew up. They keep in touch with family and spend holidays with the other Gallaghers. They get a pet or two, and eventually adopt or foster kids, a few years down the line. Mickey takes over the security business, while Ian finds a way to use his medical training again to help the community. They'll be happy, safe and in love for the rest of their lives. ❤️

The happily ever after they deserve.

GT: Well, that's it from me. Thank you so much for your time! Now leave a message to those reading this.

R: This was great, thank you! And thanks to everyone in this little corner of the Internet. Whether you create or simply enjoy creations and support them, you are a vital part of something really special. Thank you for being on this ride with me, and here's to another year full of ideas, events, collaborations, and lots and lots of fun!

[sillyunicorn]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

thank you @mostlymaudlin for the tag <3 tagging @facewithoutheart @martsonmars @cutestkilla and @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

68! Which is…wild. Six of them are songs though.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

126,027 - dang!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily the simon snow series and all for the game. I recently got into young royals so a few there as well, plus one each for a couple other shows I like.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Like rory my top 5 are all andreil! aftg has a large and voracious readership. Better than Sex (4k, T) / Eating Well (1k, T) / Needing/Getting (3k, T) / Friendly Neighborhood Vamp (.5k, T) / Soak up the Sun (.5k, T)

Rest under the cut!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Usually yes! Sometimes I go through spells of not replying…but I’m grateful for every single kudos and comment, it’s amazing and wonderful <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is tough bc i love me a happy ending and i don’t really do angst anyway lmao. My joke answer is my crack andreil fic Monday, but maybe the real answer is my snowbaz fic+song Breakable bc I left off before things get fully resolved (but it is clearly hopeful imo).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The happiEST?? Hmmm. I think my overall Happiest fic might be like, Mon Chou? And Better than Sex. both of those are just like, gooey with happiness. And both have happy endings so I’ll say one of them. Actually from a different approach I’ll say my time loop fic has the happiest ending bc it’s probably the angstiest thing I’ve written haha so the ending is such a relief. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have not!! Super grateful for everyone who leaves lovely warm positive comments on my work <3333 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not on my own LOL. i do have some M/E fics in my works though thanks to some collabs (see Q13 lol) <3

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not! I think about it sometimes….it’s just usually hard for me to imagine a world where all my blorbos live, even though I almost only write AUs…a mystery

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, which is wild!!! I think several of my Vandrew fics and BtS have been translated into russian. Thank you translators, you’re incredible. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! This was one of my most fun and treasured early fandom experiences with @facewithoutheart and @martsonmars <3 published results include The Chain (i was really just losing my mind in the doc while christina wrote tbh) and The Muse’s Waking which is probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever (partially) written hahah

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Making me chooooooose ugh. Idk man i reread a snowbaz fic today and almost cried and they were my first fandom love so today i’m going to say them <3 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I recently picked up a fic i abandoned 2 years ago so now i’m like well never say never! But one that’s in my “this is in the past now” pile that i was just thinking about is my andreil Alex Rider (TV) AU. i actually had an idea for how to get around the bit i was stuck on while rewatching Alex Rider the other day sooo…. But likely still abandoned

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think, somewhat incongruously, 1) writing concisely and 2) setting a mood. I think both these things are true in say Weightless (andreil, 1k, T).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

PLOT. plot is so hard. That’s too broad of an answer so i’ll say, keeping multiple storylines/arcs progressing at once. I don’t do it much. It’s a fun challenge though. I usually write little one-shot, single-conflict fics bc that comes easier for me. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Love it. Not fluent in any other language enough to really do it justice but i’d like to.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think i wrote some hp and some jane austen fic before i ever got into Fandom Proper lol. First published fandom was for the Simon Snow Series <3

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I think the one i’ve gone back to the most is Weightless. I set it in one of my favorite IRL places and it has tender blood drinking so. How could I beat that, really?

[13thdoctorposts]

Since I post about 13 era DW I thought I’d do the dw positivity drive post with a short (for me) detailing about what I love. (I could go into each of these with far more detail but I’ll spare you in this post. Lol)

The 13th Doctor - Terribly deals with trauma just like us humans, and is so relatable with that, but has just a deep love of humans and her companions that she will often put her trauma aside to give her companions incredible experiences and adventures. Her ability to find joy in tiny things despite that trauma. She is a joy on screen. I wanna be mates.

Yaz - her story arc, it wasn’t rushed it was done in real time and it made her growth believable. She wasn’t changed just by meeting the Doctor or a couple adventures. You watch her grow up into a confident capable woman in a realistic time frame. I was so proud of Yaz in Power of the Doctor, and that pride was so earned by the character because of the pacing of her arc. And Yaz is just a delight on screen.

Dan - look I don’t know if Dan really had a character arc but I really just enjoyed Dans personality injected into the story. He was such a great counter to the Doctor and Yaz. By Flux, Yaz isn’t really as relatable as the viewers eye into the world of the Doctor because this is all old news to her so injecting Dan with his questions and humour (and wok) was so relatable. And his way to read both of them when they were trying not to be read, isn’t what you would typically expect from a character like Dan but was beautifully executed. To me he was definitely more Yaz’s companion than the Doctors and I actually love that because they were great together. I wish there was more Dan, but sadly there no more episodes.

Graham and Ryan - I love that their story was about building family, that going on adventure with the Doc was really a vehicle for them to find their relationship with each other. Plus they were both quite funny.

The Master/O/one time companion, lol. I love that he wasn’t redeemable and self loathing. Sometimes the bad guys aren’t redeemable, and as the Doctors best enemy but a new incarnation I’m glad he was different to missy. There’s no saving this version of the master.

13 era villains… I love them all, wish there was more time with all of them. Would love to see a version of Ashad again if there was a way to bring him back. It is Doctor Who anything is possible.

Costume and Creature Design in 13 era Doctor who… OMG! - I love the Doctors outfit, but also the Master, Ashad, the Sea Devils, Swarm, Azure just to name a few absolute gems oh and pretty much all the period costumes with Yaz’s Flux period costume just being peak period attire in Who.

The TARDIS - what a completely unique interior design. It was hauntingly beautiful, and felt so organic, and coupled with the sonic screwdriver it felt like the perfect pair for the 13th doctor.

The look and feel of the series - it’s visually stunning and when it’s on a BBC budget it’s incredible how stunning they were able to make it.

The music - the music for me always felt on point, it never distracted but always heighten the moment when it was called to. I loved when the theme kicked in when 13 entered on the train.

The episodes - I’m always smiling watching the episodes… except when regeneration starts. Than my heartbreaks. But there wasn’t an episode I didn’t enjoy. All to different extents and I definitely have my favourites but they are all worth a rewatch. Each series is so different, but because of that I find it hard to pick a favourite.

Flux - What an incredible feat pulled off during COVID… do people no longer remember how chaotic and crazy COVID was? Because I don’t see this getting enough credit. I’m so thankful Chibs made it happen.

13 era workplace - I love that from everything we’ve seen and heard from everyone who worked on Doctor Who they seemed to have had the best time working there with Chibs and Jodie making it a positive workplace.

13 era cast and crew - you just can’t doubt their passion and love for Doctor Who whether they were life long fans of new fans they put all their love, passion and commitment into making the show. And it shows.

And of course Thasmin. Both the Thasmin friendship and the Thasmin romance. I think they are a beautiful tragedy. My heart is so happy they found each other and so heartbroken they didn’t figure themselves out in time. Yaz’s love for the Doctor throughout the show, through basically just her looks at the Doctor is so subtle but strong, and so beautifully played.

[asphodelical]

The Great Anime Rewatch of 2024 - Part VII

Lovely Complex

First watched: circa 2008 Rewatched: March 2024

Original rating: 6 New rating: 6

Lovely Complex was a surprise in two big ways: 1.) I had a really enjoyable time revisiting the first half. I forgot how goofy shoujo could be back in the day. It was fast paced and addressed topics and situations a lot of romcoms don’t—being shallow, being rejected, being able to see people in a different light, etc. 2.) The show really wore out its welcome in the second half. The pacing seemed to grind to a halt, the stuff with the young male teacher was quite uncomfortable, and it kept introducing character left and right at the end. It falls to the Kimi ni Todoke issue of relying on new characters for conflict, since there’s so little to them. The other main issue is that Risa is not a very interesting character, and the fact that she’s the main POV character grows weary. 

There are still a lot of things I think Lovely Complex gets right: It keeps the supporting cast as a supporting cast, and immediately sidelines the least interesting couple. Even the weird teacher stuff was only an issue for a few episodes. There’s also a canonically trans character, Seiko, who was done surprisingly respectfully for the early 00s. But the ending is bogged down by forced conflict and character assassination for Risa that leaves me disappointed. 

It turns out teenage me was dead on with my original rating. Finally, the first opening song is far better than the second. 

__________________________________

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

First watched: Winter 2011, original airdate Rewatched: April 2024

Original rating: 10 New rating: 10

Second full rewatch. There were a few things I forgot—admittedly, I forgot almost everything that happened after Madoka ascended. But man, this show is still fantastic. 

__________________________________

Millennium Actress

First watched: July 2011 Rewatched: April 2024

Original rating: 9 New rating: 9

The only reason why this film isn’t a 10/10 for me is because I don’t think Chiyoko is a very memorable or nuanced character. 

__________________________________

Clannad, Clannad: After Story, Tomoyo Chapter, Kyou Chapter

First watched: Circa 2008 Rewatched: October 2024

Original ratings: 7, 8, 8, 6 New ratings: 4, 4, 5, 5

I’ve been meaning to rewatch this for ages, and I was terrified to do so. My opinion on Key has always been pretty low, and it’s lowered even more as I’ve grown older. The melodrama, the infantilization of teenage girls, the eyes that are half the size of the character’s faces, ugh, it’s too much. Plus, the only thing I really remember was thinking Tomoyo was the best girl. 

After watching the first season, I had this whole write up about how painfully infantilized the girls are, how their rides on the trauma train are almost comical, how Tomoya is the only character who has more than two personality traits, and how bad the sense of humor is. After completing the second season, this is all I have to say: 

I don’t think I have ever seen a piece of media that was so desperate to make its audience feel sad. 

The only part of After Story I felt was worth watching was Tomoya reconnecting with Ushio. (PS. Considering how much Tomoya and Nagisa simply struggled to hold hands, I cannot fathom how they managed to have sex.)

Tomoyo Chapter was still my favourite, and Kyou’s was…whatever, but still better than anything involving Nagisa. 

__________________________________

Sakamichi no Apollon

First watched: April 2012 (original airdate) Rewatched: October 2024

Original rating: 8 New rating: 6

Unfortunately, I had to watch the English dub. Considering how Japanese this story is, I wasn’t thrilled. Then Ritsuko’s voice actress woefully mispronounced Kaoru’s name and I almost lost it. (And then “Brother Jun” kept happening and I couldn’t take it seriously. At that point, just say “Jun.” Please.) But beggars can’t be choosers. 

There are a lot of things that didn’t work for me this time around. The author has an annoying tendency to rely on bullying scenes to initiate conflict. Ritsuko is still a tragically boring character, and the drama is a bit overwrought. The love pentagon is so painful. It doesn’t help that the dialogue is really bad; Hardly anything sounds natural. 

But all the music stuff? Yeah, that stuff still worked for me. By episode six, I lost almost all interest in the dramatic shit and just wanted to skip to the music bits. Peak Sakamichi no Apollon for me: 

The first jam session in the record store

Sentarou and Kaoru’s make up medley

Sentarou and Jun’s last session

The friendship/unrequited love between Sentarou and Kaoru

[ladyvillainous]

This is Me!

Saw this on a few peoples feeds and thought it was an interesting idea and as i have no current fics for you as i'm working on my full length ones i thought i'd give you this instead

ASLO: 38, Female, Cambridge UK, Pan

Current playlist: My spotify list is full fop Halocene, The Prodigy, Loveless, Metallica and the Demi lovato rock versions plus a sprinkling of Disney rock covers. I have this playlist on repeat almost constantly in the car, at home, when on the computer (right now) at work and even via my sleep headphones which everyone finds really really weird

Favourite Colour: If i had to pick i'd say Dark Blue but really i'm greedy and want the whole rainbow

Current TV Series: Nothing currently just finished Series 3 of the Witcher, all season of Lower Decks and rewatched ANTM series 7 so it's weird mix that's for sure. Need to get back to Walking Dead at somepoint but am also considering a GOT rewatch.

Last Movie: Miss Congeniality

Current Reads: no books on the go at the moment i read fanfaction of the net almost exclusively. Chokehold by @violetmina and Glimmer by @enchantedflameandflower and the ones i'm patiently awaiting updates for, both Billy Butcher fics

Sweet, Spicy or Savoury: Savoury forthe most part i'm addicted to crisps

Relationship Status: Separated but on great terms, she lives up the street and i see her multiple times per week.

Pets: 3 Dogs, Tink - Border collie almost 16years old, Stitch - Border Collie - 3 Years old and Meeko - Border Collie/Corgi cross almost 2 years old

Current Obsession: Karl Urban, man's got me by the throat the the moment, if only physically ;-)

Last thing I googled: whole host of stuff about Egyotian culture, names and the Mummy film for my latest WIP and plush pumpkins from Hobbycraft for my halloween display :-)

Current Works in Progress: Mummy fic centred around Ardeth Bay and a LOTR fic about Eomer. That's in addtion to the Boys, Stranger things and TWD fics i started in the last couple of years and haven't even posted anywhere yet. Also my Divergent fic that was temproarily abandoned last last year so i could focus on finishing my star trek fic... i have alot of fandoms

[somebody-already-took-this-url]

Tag 9 People You Want To Get To Know Better

I was tagged by @zackinpink !!! thank u for the tag, ily bestie<3

Three Ships:

Swanqueen

Regina and Emma were directly responsible for 13 year old me being comfortable admitting I liked girls. Regina Mills has been at the center of who I am for over a decade, and I don’t think I’ll ever let her go. These two are part of me, and I love them so much. Plus me and Emma share a birthday, and the show came out the day after my 13th birthday so it basically belonged to me (in my adolescent brain). They also are responsible for making me become obsessed with the enemies to friends to lovers dynamic haha (I am mentally unwell)

Mumbroom

This is my biggest ship for The Worst Witch 2017 fandom, I absolutely ADORE Hecate and I love her with Julie more than anything!!! It’s not as popular as some other ships in the fandom, but I kind of like that it’s just me and a few other people who ship it tbh. I like the dynamic of a witch dating a non magical, and I love mumbroom specifically because while Julie is Mildred’s actual mom, Hecate sort of becomes Mildred’s school mom while Millie attends Cackles Academy.

Mystrade

I think this ship started out as a bit of a crack ship??? Not just for me, but for the whole BBC Sherlock fandom really. But it very quickly became just as real as johnlock (Sherlock x John) and even though it was never quite as popular, is still my favourite BBC Sherlock ship. Mycroft has always been my fav character from the show, and I think he deserves happiness! Plus Greg is one of the most wholesome characters in the entire show, and even though he has very little scene interaction with Mycroft, they still somehow make so much sense.

First ship: Swanqueen & Snamione (these happened basically simultaneously). Is snamione embarrassing? Yes. Moving on now thanks

Last song: Bringin’ Back Christmas by Ryan Reynolds from the new movie musical Spirited 🫢 guys this is so embarrassing I’m sorry… I actually really enjoyed this movie tho💔

Last movie: Thunder Force (2021) with Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer!!! It’s so sososo good btw, I’ve seen it a bunch of times lol. I watched it a couple days ago with my mom, it’s such a funny movie! I’ve also watched The Addams Family & Addams Family Values in the last week, but those are total classics that I’ve also seen a million times before lol. I love movies!

Currently reading: The Ministry of Unladylike Activity by Robin Stevens! It’s not as good as the Murder Most Unladylike series but it’s still a good addition to the world she’s built in her previous series.

Currently watching: Emergence. I watched it when it first started airing on tv in 2019, but I’m rewatching it with my aunt :) I love you Allison Tolman!!!

Currently drinking: water! I’m sick so I need to drink a lot of fluids

Currently craving: peace and quiet… my little cousin decided I needed noise in my life 😔

Tagging! Ignore this if u want btw Idc<3

@vampiralia

@booitsrue

@avalonmoonshinesstuff

@theanxiousenglishmajor

@txciaz

@severusobserver

@morewinepls

@onecolorgirl

@fortyflightower

[butwhatifidothis]

Have you ever considered, once you finish sporking that fic, washing the taste out of your mouth by taking a look at fics in the fandom you like/think deserve more attention?

Even one of my favourite sites, Cake Wrecks, does a feature on Sundays were it's cakes they think are really nicely-decorated so it's not all downers.

😭 i think i need to clear up something lmao

I already read fics that I enjoy - reread old ones, look out for new ones, write a good few myself (here's two of them lol). I read my trashy little otome isekai villainess manhuas that I love to death. I play the shit out of Hades. I play DnD with irl buds every Wednesday. I'm watching - and rewatching - episodes of the new Bleach anime, and am eagerly awaiting for June to come around to give more. I play Smash Ultimate with my big sis and lil bro. I replay VW every now and then. I play BBS and hope to finally pull the last couple Valentine's/Academy Momo's I need to have fully completed all the Momo's in the game (so far).

I already do plenty of things that I thoroughly enjoy doing - I talk about the fic a lot here, but y'all don't have to worry; I do, in fact, do things I enjoy doing lmao.

But! I do want to give some attention to fics I really enjoy! I've already talked about most of them before, but it never hurts to do it again lol. Most of them are dmcl so if that's not up your alley, well, rip, but if it is then yeah!

Princes of Silver and Gold is sooo good - and very meaty! It deals with Dimitri and Claude getting bopped back to the prologue after the events of Saving Derdriu, after a mysterious spell seems to ambush them during a moment of peace. It's has a lot per chapter to take in - 4 chapters, +129,000 words, a very dense read - but imo it never feels like too much. I've reread this a good few times actually! There's a lot of 3H's lore that's played around with and given more oomph to it that really makes the fic feel alive, which is always nice.

Be Not Proud: an absolute downer for sure, can't ever get through it without snivellin' and snottin', but it's a really touching look into Nader and Claude's relationship. It revolves around Claude's last moments on a CF run where he isn't spared - very sad oneshot, but very memorable imo.

Everyone Leaves Eventually: an interesting oneshot about the Black Eagles leaving Edelgard's side one by one as she gets more and more aggressive with her war, from Hubert's POV. Granted, Hubert is more than a smidge OOC for it to work - he's given a good bit more morality than he's shown to ever have canonically - but as a concept it's interesting, and it's a neat read all around. If you're willing to accept that this Hubert is less like canon!Hubert than he ought to be, I'd definitely recommend it!

Survivor's Burden: another one that's kind of a downer, but with a much happier ending than Be Not Proud. Revolving around the idea of Claude and Dimitri surviving SS Gronder, with Claude doing his best to keep him and Dimitri alive in the woods. It's a bit long for a oneshot - a bit over 30,000 words for one sitting - but! It's definitely worth it imo. Plus! It was part of the dmcl Big Bang that happened a couple years ago, so this one also has great art to go along with it at certain points!

to this vow, i hold fast: yet again this is being recommended by me lmao because it is beyond amazing. It's a slow-burn dmcl political-marriage AU of post-war Fodlan, and it's just a joy to read through. The one thing I'll say about this one, as much as I love it to bits, is that, hm... you can tell the author also ships Dimi///leth. Understandable what I mean by that once you read it, and it can be quite a bit annoying to see it imo, but also imo it doesn't take enough away from the quality for me to ever do anything but recommend it lol. This multi-chapter fic is actually almost complete, from what I understand! So there's that too.

seeking humanity: a dmcl AU where Claude is a traveler and Dimitri is (seemingly, anyway) the god of death, and they make a pact: Claude either gets Dimitri to like humans in half a year's time, or he gives up his soul to Dimitri. I am a huge fan of how the characters are, well, characterized in this fic; everyone is just a joy to read through! Even characters I don't care that much for (especially with how they tend to be written in fics), like Leonie and Lorenz, are just great. And the mysteries this fic has in it are also really fun to think about, with all the crumbs the story lays down to try and follow.

please give them a shot!! If they're up your alley anyway lol

[slonekaru]

Getting to know your BL mutuals - 2022 Edition

Simple, answer the questions. @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answers!

What has been the BL that took you by surprise this year?

Big Dragon, I like it way more than I thought I would from the trailer and the first episode. It wasn't really on my radar. God damn are they making my emotions swing from 'this guys is an idiot I can't stand him' to 'I just want to pet him, pathetic meow, meow'. Except for Park and Pong I adore them all the time.

Also Secret Crush on You. Another that wasn't on my radar. The first episode rubbed me up the wrong way and I thought I'd hate the stalker storyline but by god does Billy and Seng have some great chemistry and give it depth to pull it off. Plus the storyline evolved and covered so many topics/themes. First times, body confidence, bullying, gender identity, questioning stereotypical roles in a relationship.

What has been the BL that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

I normally am a pretty good judge of if I will like it from the trailer so I don't get massively disappointed when watching. Strangely enough, it's not that a feel disappointed with War of Y but I'm not in love with it like I thought I would be. It's good and the chemistry between the actors is great and yet I'm not 100% connecting with it. Fingers crossed for the 4th and last story as it was the one I was waiting for.

Even Sun. Now I adore BounPrem with all my heart but this series had so many things wrong with it. And it was frustrating because I could see glimpses of the good there, Prem was funny as Sun and some of the Bounprem moments were great. But there were too many characters, they should have focused on the one couple, and the translations were so bad that the storyline didn't always make sense (I saw a better translation at a later date and the storyline was so much better!) But overall the writing was abysmal.

What has been your favourite BL this year?

How do I choose one? Seriously? It can't be done. In no particular order. Kinnporsche, Love in the Air, Semantic Error. I reserve the right to add Between Us at a later date! I can and will rewatch all of these numerous times.

Favourite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

So, soooooo many!

Wangxian, Payurain, Vegaspete, Akkayan, Jaeyoung/Sangwoo, Winteam, Wenzhou, Seanwhite, Gao Shide/Zhou Shuyi, Jack/Zhao Zi.

You know looking at this list I think I have a type!

If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?

It's kinda dependent on what they are after.

Love in the Air, Kinnporsche, Not Me, Until We Meet Again, Between Us, History3: Trapped, Plus and Minus, Bad Buddy. (Yes I know not all of them are from this year!)

But if they were newbies I'd suggest maybe starting with the Korean BL's like Semantic Error, Roommates of Poongduck 304 and Choco Milk Shake. They are just kinda fluffy with good storylines and are often comedic.

What's your non-BL favourite for this year?

I have two and I would recommend them to everyone!

Thailand's 'Mama Gogo' made me laugh all the way through plus I loved the Older woman/Younger man relationship between Annie and Chen.

Korea's 'Love and Leashes' which again I'm pretty sure Jung Ji Hoo is supposed to be a younger man to Jung Ji Woo's slightly older woman. Their portrayal of a woman discovering her inner Dom was wonderful. Also seeing a submissive man be confident, for the most part, in his submissiveness was refreshing.

So who wants to go next? Tag as many or as few people as you want.

@fluidsoul31 @kwonzoshi @kdrama-mama @introvertedkeni @lutawolf @tehkatie @negrowhat @massxhysteria @jynxed13 @littleswirlofblue @prapaiwife @prapais @piningbisexuals @piningintrovert @buildjakapan @liyazaki @smittenskitten

Ok, that's enough people, I know I've forgotten someone!

[nonsensegnomes]

bestie what are your top nine favorite movies atm

oooh good question <3 well like i said i'm discovering i've covered way more ground in tv over the last few years (which i'm gonna rectify soooooonnnnnn i think, got a lot of exciting recs from that recent tag game!!) so this is pitifully basic, but like in terms of what i'm thinking about Right This Moment:

the hitcher – slightly deranged about this ever since i saw it last week, a movie perfectly tuned to my preferences <3 love love LOVE the main performances & the dreamy atmosphere & the cinematography; just! the americana of it all!! plus there is soooo much to dig into, like the folkloric resonances (i mean the vanishing hitchhiker story HELLO), the gay panic (as in the actual original homophobic meaning) every shot of the first half hour is just LACED with, that scene where he puts the coins over his eyes in the diner.... obsessssssssssed.

the black phone – okay so i watched this last night & it might fade from the faves over the next few days but rn i can't stop Picking at it. genuinely Disturbed me a couple times so 🙈👍 ethan hawke ATE, the little girl playing the sister KILLED it, and my friend pj should've had more screentime so the sets of siblings could parallel each other or something but wcyd ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i am a little I Can Fix It about some of its clunkier plot points, but the main conceit of the phone fucked soooooo hard i can forgive it 💖

it 2017 – listen. i have been feeling this rewatch approaching all summer & as soon as i get my grubby hands on a projector (as god intended this movie to be watched <3), august is going to be thee month for it!!! idk it just has a very dear place in my heart 💕 like everyone else i did have a 2019 breakdown despite its many Many flaws, but the first one remains That Bitch w/ the perfect pacing & ending... coming of age film that just happens to have a clown in it babey!! also always going to care about eddie kaspbrak unfortunately 😔

nausicaä of the valley of the wind – my fave ghibli movie!! What Is There To Say. it was the first one i saw before i was aware everyone went insane about like hmc & princess monoke (which i also adore!!), so at first i was just Captivated by the animation genius & the Weirdness & the design of those bugs... it just plucks at something in me, like this is PRECISELY the kind of post-apocalyptic story i can enjoy, like what a coherent & hopeful environmental message that's, well, not subtle but certainly managed with a very deft touch!!!

fight club – sorry for being a film bro :/ anyway go look at this important piece of LGBT history

the death of stalin – love a comedy where everything falls apart around & also due to a bunch flailing back-stabbing incompetent idiots, so of course an armando iannucci joint always hits the spot <3 just SUCH alarming pettiness & cruelty that you have to laugh in the face of it ohhhh my godddddd

southern comfort – okay so kinda cheating with this docu, but it just impacted me sooooooo deeply the first time i saw it & i still go back and rewatch every once in a while. despite how sad it gets at the end, it actually is one of those things that gives me Real hope bc the whole thing is just about love & community & the radical Comfort transness allows you to find in yourself 💕💕💞💖 i would definitely rec it to absolutely everyone, it's only 90 mins & absolutely Life-Changing; i think there was a clip going round here a while ago about how affirming t4t love can be, and imo that just sums up the whole vibe. rest in power robert eads ✊😔

fire walk with me – well this is my favourite movie of all time despite the fact that i can NEVER ever watch it again ✌️ like i am well aware that it is technically kinda all over the place, what with david seeing fit to make the first half hour just "fbi procedural david bowie cameo now THIS character says something ominous & incomprehensible" but also. i Do Not Care bc the next hour + a half made me cry so hard it took me like 5 hrs to watch it; jesus CHRIST she was just a kid who needed someone to reach out and help her!!! laura i would have done so much cocaine with you & kept you alive forever!!!!!! also lynch's weird cryptic storytelling just appeals to me personally bc the way the meaning comes more from the audience's emotional response makes it kinda work on the same level as a folk tale for me, which i loveeeeeeeeeee unpicking; saw a post once about fwwm being structured like the saint's life of a martyr and !!! that is exactly It!

stardust – an all-time favourite, i mean the costumes! the pacing! the fun twists on fantasy tropes! the sheer CAMPINESS of it all!!! the way the plotlines converge in the end WOWED me as a child and to this day every time i watch another fantasy movie i'm like. Well You're Not Stardust Are You :/

& honourable mention to those films always occupying some part of my brain, that i can mouth along with from memory just because they are so comforting to me: tsn, the princess bride, 10 things i hate about you, pride 2014, bend it like beckham, saw (this nearly made the main list but like. too obvious.), the parent trap (1998 version), the karate kid

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2021

Date video was published: 12/21/2021 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 452

The final video of 2021. Phil teased it and caused chaos, of course. I can’t believe (but am so glad) this is the sequel we ended up getting.

0:00 - tree background! they had the tree up and decorated by December 7, when Dan shared pictures

0:03 - great start. love that he immediately looks to Dan for his reaction

0:20 - calling himself out for “casted” and very unnecessary creepy eye editing there

0:25 - Phil’s face as Dan sits down 🥺 plus giving him the fireworks effect

0:33 - I like this Dan sweater! (and not really this Phil one, sorry)

0:39 - that was very quick from both of them there. then the jump cut before Dan can come up with another come-back and it’s basically a compliment 😂

0:57 - that was the least subtle thing ever and the bleeps did nothing.  Dan really wanted to be sure everyone got it though 😳

1:04 - Dan slowly scooting closer to Phil

1:06 - the annotations here...though Phil did not say anything about his “favourite thing”s before this

1:18 - Phil’s side-eye as he decides to tease Dan about that

1:28 - and even closer. what even. I would say he was trying to leave space to put the text screenshots, but they end up putting them in between them sometimes anyway

1:35 - I miss Dan’s reactions to Phil’s comments so much when we don’t get joint content for a while

1:41 - what is Phil even doing

1:54 - I mean that’s adorable. I like that he also sent one called “beautiful hawk”

2:23 - Dan just saying that...alrighty then. this might be the most we’re-in-a-relationship joke they’ve ever made on camera? in 2017, Dan shared a couple of text screenshots (1, 2) and he did have a photo for Phil then

2:35 - Phil editing this and putting the “JC” over his own face 😂 or maybe they edited together like they used to do with the PINOFs

2:55 - oh that’s bad. Dan refused to share that photo on Twitter

3:10 - awww, Phil “I wouldn’t betray your trust”

3:13 -  I think most of these (with the exception of a few) are in order throughout the year, so guessing this was just Dan looking for birthday gifts for Phil in January

3:16 - so Dan wrote this and sent it to Phil, who then slightly edited it and posted it as a tweet. I wonder how often they do this, but good to know that sometimes Phil’s tweets may sound like Dan for a reason

3:25 - awww 🥺 and a tree they took to the new house

3:29 - Dan immediately laughing...don’t know if I want to know the context for that one

3:32 - Dan had tweeted about the Bernie meme just a couple days after Phil sent this to him

3:55 - they talked about seeing Steve in the wild during one of the Stereo shows

4:00 - I feel like a lot of the random texts at ~10am like “Bip” here are them checking to see if the other person is awake if they’re not getting up at the same time

4:15 - this makes it sound like Dan did a lot of the prep work for this video

4:24 - Phil just staring...and then licking his lips

4:28 - this is one I’m not sure is in order or not...there was no “up” at the filming flat so this was either after they moved or they meant something else (or were somewhere else)

4:51 - that’s a picture they showed in the CAH video, though Phil is sending it to Dan here

5:04 - this was a new photo of the entryway and tree that we hadn’t seen before! this must have just been Dan sending those photos to Phil to use for a video though, because he had already made that tree by summer of 2020

5:14 - imagining Dan just scrolling through his pictures of Phil and sending him the worst ones 😂

5:33 - Phil gets the weirdest ads I swear. Dan with the immediate “damn”

5:45 - Phil must have sent this to Dan to say he was going to make it his icon? why didn’t Dan say he didn’t like it then!

5:57 - controversial, but I agree with Dan here. 🤐 his face does look mask-like! I think it’s something with his eyes in that photo

6:18 - Phil knows immediately! they eat dinner SO late

6:34 - this is just the next day. and exactly a year before the cherry blossom selfies 👀

6:42 - they way that Dan said “are you gonna reveal it...” feel like something more than showing a painting

6:44 - I’m still not over this gift and that they have this memory of the Japan trip hanging in their new house. also bamboo forest day in Japan was the same day as that one Insta story of very soft Phil and I am not okay knowing that 😭

6:57 - Phil posted some these photos the same day he sent them to Dna here. and the one Dan sent back was one of those, so maybe Dan was picking out which he should post

7:13 - “we were trying to decide” everything they do is a collaboration, isn’t it? even if it’s supposedly “solo” merch or projects

7:24 - “I’m not just simping, Phil” christ. he does have to clarify

7:50 - Dan’s immediate smile at Phil supporting him. Dan had released his new merch at the end of November too

8:03 - I love Phil texting for permission to eat the snacks (which were clearly for both of them) while Dan was out

8:15 - the sending of vibes thing just makes me want to weep 😭 Dan was recording some of his book that day, though he didn’t share this particular picture until the end of April

8:28 - zero context. though Dan was apparently feeling anxious that day

8:31 - another one where I feel like Phil is checking to see if Dan is awake

8:44 - there are a lot of those we don’t actually see and I’m not sure I want to know

8:52 - the house was getting closer! Dan had shared a Insta story with a picture this day too

9:07 - Phil just agreeing that they were “very flattering.”  Dan had shared those pictures of the entryway in July

9:12 - welp. alrighty then Phil. this must be the nerd cave room?

9:26 - and this must be Phil checking to see if Dan is coming to bed? right? this would have been later in the night after Phil was watching some Jujutsu Kaisen

9:53 - they start doing this and I’m pretty sure the ‘blessed family’ one is the only one they don’t rate 5/5 😂

10:01 - didn’t quite go with the whole “Philip”

10:08 - these annotations seem like Dan wrote them, which he very well might have

10:16 - the glue incident. like I said in that post, this is earlier in May than I thought it had happened from the video

10:20 - Dan trying to calm him down via text since he couldn’t go with him 🥺

10:40 - this is also hilarious to me, that Phil was sending him interview ideas/jokes 😂 it looks like it might have been even longer than what they showed here

10:54 - getting the un-blurred version of this photo that Dan shared on May 21. also the heavy breathing/foot showing editing...not quite as good as the golden pig fight, but still a great editing joke from 2021

11:13 - what even. no guesses for this one

11:23 - was this just Phil checking that the thumbnail was okay with Dan? I would say he had sent it to Dan so he had it for promo purposes, but Dan just retweeted/reposted Phil’s stuff

11:52 - awww, Phil is right. and Phil is proud of him!

12:09 - they were so excited about the house!

12:24 - and back to slightly earlier in the month. so many scans for Phil 🙁 Phil just sharing “I’m not dying” every time; Dan looks like he doesn’t know what to think about that

12:34 - I’m cackling at this one

12:42 - this is right around when they shared they were actually moving, so I’m guessing this has something to do with the garden at the new house

12:55 - this must have been when Phil was heading home from getting his COVID vaccine. also, Dan trying to act unamused

13:12 - okay definitely out of order now. we were just in June, but you can see the tree in the background of that video so that must have been from much more recently. Phil did share it as a Short after this video was posted

13:54 - emo Dan and Phil saying it “send me vividly back to 2011″ is a lot

14:06 - yeah Dan barely promoted his involvement in that at all

14:18 - Phil sounds so disappointed about the furry bit being cut

14:22 - we don’t see Phil’s response in the screenshot there, so unsure if he’s actually reading it or just making something up because they didn’t want to share what he actually said

14:26 - needy Dan indeed! I love that he sound so whiny in his reading of it too

14:33 - I wanna know about “Blop blip blop...lmao” that they didn’t read

14:36 - yeah that’s just disturbing, slightly. Phil had shared a “haunted” photo of himself from the doorbell too, in late August

14:42 - little taps to Phil’s arm there

14:48 - okay this is my favorite one for some reason. something about how soft Dan sounds when he’s reading it and how completely incomprehensible it is

15:01 - again maybe an are-you-awake check. Phil thinks 9:53am was too early though

15:09 - the ghost editing with the doorball footage 😂

15:27 - I mean, this was less surprising because Phil had already said “roleplaying as a catboy” in one of the Stereo shows

15:34 - Phil went through about 7 different emotions in a second there deciding whether or not this was a YouTube-appropriate story

15:50 - candid Dan photo! Phil looks so pleased/fond about it

16:04 - Phil giving zero shits about Dan’s sassiness there, lol

16:32 - this must have been on a train north the evening before filming in Rawtenstall since they were spotted filming there on July 22

16:54 - Dan is being diplomatic about YouTube here, but he really wanted it to be longer and include different bits

17:01 - more needy Dan!

17:09 - texting memories to each other I CAN’T 😭

17:17 - Dan is wrong - this was from when the went to see Mission Impossible in the US (1, 2). they had seen Infinity War in May 2018.

17:41 - does Dan just text Phil every time he needs a drink refill, haha

17:48 - how the hell would anyone interpret what that meant

17:56 - guessing Phil was with people for his plant calendar shoot. he was doing that ~September 23-24, at least from what he shared (1, 2)

18:21 - has Phil literally been doing all of their laundry for years...what. the next one is from October, so this could be when Phil went to Isle of Man to visit his family? (if Dan didn’t go and was home alone?)

18:30 - I know “moonpig” is a card brand but also

18:35 - this still haunts me. I did not need to know that Dan calls Phil “moon butt.” there is no way to interpret how he reads that other than as a nickname. WHY did they include that

19:11 - Dan had posted that at the end of November. I wonder if that somewhat inspired this video

19:30 - Dan just sending him the double question mark after that 😂

20:05 - Phil looks so sad for him. this is like a follow-up to the first video of the year when they were so hopeful for things happening in 2021

20:30 - “at some point, somehow, in some way” is so vague; I am constantly on edge especially with how quiet they’ve been this spring

20:52 - Dan saying “tolerating” while Phil says “treating” 🥺

21:20 - love the sign off

Another contender for my favorite video of 2021. I know I’ve said that about 4-5 times but there are just so many good ones. It is so much more unhinged than the first texting video - either because they didn’t share the weirdest ones before or because they were outside/apart more for the texts in the first one, rather than mostly texting each other from inside the house. Also, I adore this “outtake” of a Kath text that Phil posted as a Short. They didn’t say much about what they were doing for Christmas (other than Phil going to see his family), but both Dan and Phil did share an Insta story.

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

I rewatched those Air Buddies movies instead of  what my blog is actually about. Oops.

Yeah, not even Air Bud because I don’t own those and I’m really cheap. Plus, I grew up with Air Buddies way more than Air Bud. I know, horrifying huh? I’d like to at least rewatch the first two if I can find them but for now, it’s puppy time.

Rewatching the whole series in order... I actually kinda like it.

Maybe it’s “nostalgia” or being so enthralled by cute puppies that I ignore all the problems in these movies, but I had fun watching all of the movies. Well... besides Space Buddies. Fuck Space Buddies. Yes, I enjoyed Spooky Buddies and Super Buddies. Those movies aren’t good, but they’re hilarious. They’re complete guilty pleasure. Most of the other movies... I wouldn’t call them guilty pleasures but besides a couple of them, I wouldn’t quite consider them good.

These movies on principle aren’t the best. The live action/CGI hybrid format is limited by default, and the dog acting and lip synced mouths can definitely bother some more than others. I personally don’t mind the mouth sync but it does look weird if you’re not used to it, especially in Super Buddies where their mouths are flapping all over the place. These movies would have been better (and possibly more appreciated) if they were fully animated.

These movies are also sprinkled with racist and sexist stereotypes. Rosebud is your typical token girl character. Her entire personality is girly and she makes everything about “girl power” which really gets on my nerves (though I will she has some legitimately good moments). As for the racism, there are racist stereotypes/accents all over these movies, even some of the better ones. Buddha is the most egregious example of this. While he’s my favourite of the puppies (because he has the closest thing to character depth and says some of my favourite lines in the series) and I like these movies despite those big issues, it’s important to acknowledge that stereotypes like that are still problematic and shouldn’t be condoned. It wasn’t okay then and it’s not okay now.

Still, that doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to like these movies for reasons outside of these issues. And I do. I honestly do. So here is my ranking of the movies from least favourite to favourite:

7 Space Buddies 4/10

This one is just as bad as it looks. There’s a couple cute moments, like Buddha and his owner enjoying looking at space together and Buddha later giving him a rock from the moon, but overall, this movie is mostly just boring. Boring or aggravating. It’s only been a few days since I watched it and most of what I remember was just the really stupid stuff. Skip it. You’ll miss nothing.

6 Spooky Buddies 4/10 (Ironic entertainment: 6/10)

This one is just as bad as Space Buddies but honestly, I found myself laughing more at the absurdity than cringing at it. Some of it is legitimate humour (like pretty much everything the ridiculously over the top villain does). The rest is laughing at the stupid situations and horrible special effects. This is not a movie to watch alone (unless you’re drunk or something). It’s a movie to watch with someone so you can make fun of it together and laugh at each other’s reactions. That’s what I did and it was a blast.

5 Air Buddies 6/10

I was honestly surprised at how decent this movie was. Sure it's clearly more geared toward kids, the characters are kind of all one-note, and there’s some juvenile humour but it’s not a poorly told story. It’s a basic one but it tells it well and there are some wholesome moments and some legitimately funny moments. It also feels like a story that could actually happen in the real world, if you suspend your disbelief on the talking puppies. Maybe nostalgia plays a part, but I legitimately think this is a decent film as well… the top three. The next one though…

4 Super Buddies 5/10 (Ironic entertainment: 7/10)

Going straight back to the crazy. This movie is completely stupid, badly constructed, has really cheap looking effects, a terrible anti climax/fake out death, and makes no sense but honestly… stories where established characters suddenly gain superpowers are honestly my really niche guilty pleasure. Also, a lot of the humour I got from this movie is actually intentional and for how dumb it is, I think some of the stuff with the super powers is legitimately cool. Super powers are cool, I don’t make the rules.

3 Santa Buddies 6.5/10

Okay, if any of these movies is purely winning me over in cute factor alone, it’s this one. I don’t care for Christmas and I know this movie is a cluttered mess with wonky pacing but oh my god, have you seen Tiny?! Have you heard her cute little singing?! It’s enough to melt a grown man! And-and that cranky old dog catcher letting cheer into his heart and giving Tiny to that sick little boy?! And the boy’s family inviting him to their Christmas dinner in return?! The sweetness is off the charts! The Christmas joy of this movie can eat me alive if it means I get to see wholesomeness like this.

2 Treasure Buddies 7/10

Okay, this is a weird pick, I’m aware. I didn’t even care for this one as a kid but rewatching it now, man was this movie cool! This is the first movie since Air Buddies where all the characters get a chance to shine in a unique way especially my two favourites, Mudbud and Buddha. (Yeah, I actually like these characters. Do you blame me? They’re puppies!) Mudbud’s hyper-devotion to his owner is adorable and honestly the heart of this movie and Buddha has some of the best lines in the film. He also stares down and hypnotises a snake. Yeah, that’s my favourite scene in the movie. Also, while it does have a bit of an anti climax, the final action sequence of this movie is really interesting and fun.

1 Snow Buddies 7.5/10

Yeah, this wasn’t much of a contest. I was surprised that one of the movies even came close to this one but still, Snow Buddies triumphs. This is not a masterpiece by any means but it is a genuinely well told film with good pacing and heart. It’s the most down to earth and while these movies are sorely lacking in meaningful character moments, this movie at least gave it an attempt. Also, Shasta is a great new character and the way this movie barely holds any punches with the tragedy of his parents dying in a dog sled race (they even say the word die!), is very admirable for a movie of this calibre. It had no need to go this far but it did because they felt it was stronger this way and it is. The best scene in this movie, and any of these movies for that matter, is where Shasta is crawling over some slowly cracking ice, the same place and same circumstance that took the lives of his parents, to save the very dogs that caused the deaths of his parents. The editing makes you feel the weight of every paw step. Like any moment, Shasta could fall in and die the same way his parents did. It’s very tense.

This was actually a tight list believe it or not. There was a definite worst and best film but the middle ones feel kind of interchangeable for me, even with my scores. Well, anyways, no one is gonna read this but I’m still gonna post so... have a good day! :D

[buzzkillzine]

14/8/22

So my girlfriend and I gave been going out for 10 years. It's been a great 10 years.

But over the last few months things have been on thin ice. And it's my own fault.

It started with a Grudge. Specifically the Grudge from 2004 starring Sarah Michelle Gellar.

So for pretty much our entire 10 year relationship my girlfriend and I love showing each other movies. I love gorey horror movies, Sci fi, Dumb comedies etc and she loves 00s films with white covers and pink writing, Australian films and rom coms. Obviously that's a very narrow snapshot of our tastes but enough of an idea of where we're starting from.

When we started watching movies together we'd pick stuff that the other hadn't seen in an attempt to show them our favourite movies. She hated horror movies and didn't watch any and I had a big blind spot for her stuff.

Little by little we eased each other into our respective tastes and along the way we opened our minds to each a la Kuato from Total Recall (a film I picked and she enjoyed).

We both realised that it's great to watch stuff out of our comfort zone and we even found some stuff that became rewatchable favourites.

She enjoyed the ridiculous campness and hyper-masculine-to-the-point-of-homoerorotic of stuff like Predator, the parody and hidden in plain sight satire of Robocop and the ridiculous fun of Dredd. In turn I enjoyed the great writing of Mean Girls, the relatability of Booksmart and the sheer joy of Romy and Michele's Highschool Reunion and Josie and the Pussycats.

The 'your pick, my pick' rotation of films worked great. Until a few months ago.

We had watched The Ring (2002) pretty early on in our relationship and enjoyed it. One day in around May this year I realised that there were some other remakes of Asian horror that she hadn't seen.

Now I had watched the Grudge around the time it came out in 2014. I was in highschool and remember it being an eerie ghost tale with some effective scares and a great story. Plus it stars Sarah Michelle-Gellar who is great in Buffy (a show which my girlfriend loves), what could possibly go wrong?

So, with my pick chosen, we sat down to watch a film from my teens years that had cemented my taste in horror movies and would surely be a fun little trip down memory lane.

But... it stunk!

I was puzzled, baffled and shocked. What had happened to the tension, the strong female lead, the creepy atmosphere and the heart in the story? None of it was there.

We got about 3/4 of the way through and first the first time since Freddy Got Fingered (my pick) we called it a dud and turned it off. (Part of our rules are if you're reeeeeeaaallly not digging a partners pick you can tap out. She tapped out. However FGF is a stone cold classic and I stand by it)

I apologised and we watched something else that we both enjoyed.

But I was still puzzled. What went wrong? Why did I get nothing from the film? Like admittedly the CGI looked awful now and it was miss-cast and SMG is normally great, like in Scooby Doo (her pick) or I Know What You Did Last Summer (my pick) but the film was just a real fizzer and didn't live up to my memories and her expectations.

So a few days pass and it's back to my pick. The whole Grudge situation is getting to me. I need to fix this.

Then I see that The Grudge (2020) is streaming and Lin Shaye is in it. Awesome! Hollywood realised that they mucked up the OG remake and decided to update it and fix the problems by making it creepy, updating the CGI and putting Lin Shaye in it. We both love Lin Shaye from the Insidious films (my pick but we both love them) and this will surely make up for my dud pick and we'll get to see a good remake of the story.

But.... it also stinks.

The same traps. Nobodies fault but it just didn't land with either of us. I'd picked 2 duds in a row and they were both the same film.

I was way off my game.

The curse of the dud Grudge followed me over the next couple of months.

I either picked stuff we both didn't enjoy of stuff that she flat out hated. Her picks kept coming through strong but mine were consistently bad. My radar of what I thought we'd both enjoy had been damaged.

I couldn't, for the life of me pick a film that was campy fun, silly fun, gross fun or even fun fun. Pick after pick I failed. The pressure of trying to find something we'd both enjoy was getting to me.

Then it happened.

We watched Black Phone in the cinema (my pick, I liked it. She didn't) then watched 'X' (my pick, I liked it, she really didn't) and then she dropped the bombshell.

'Maybe you should take a break from picking for a couple of movies?'

I knew she was right. I'd fucked up and kept fucking up. I needed to take a break and take stock of what I was doing.

So she has picked the last couple of films, Not Okay (both loved it) and Amélie (what a classic) and I have attempted to make a list of films with all the right ingredients to finally break my streak and get back on the good film buddy/great boyfriend podium.

I have my picks locked and loaded and will report back next week on how I've done.

I think I've picked something suitably ridiculous, fun and over the top to win back her trust.

Wish me luck and I'll let you know how I go.

(Just to be clear, she's great and this is all just fun but I take watching movies together seriously)

Also my car broke down but it fixed now.