#plus i’d prefer a clear one if possible so i can see the design through it

[fingertipsmp3]

This is such a first world problem but I got a new phone case which I love, but now I miss my popsocket :/

[fangirlovestuff]

More Than Meets The Eye - Steve Rogers x reader

a/n - hey lovely people!! this one is for @s1utforfictionalcharacters​, who asked for a Steve x reader enemies to lovers a while ago. thank you so much for bearing with me and being patient, and i hope you enjoy!!<3

Summary: Between figuring out what was the Tesseract doing at a Hydra base and if it even is the Tesseract, you need to navigate your relationaship with one annoying, broody Captain. Honestly, you might prefer the Hydra thing. 

this isn’t set in the mcu timeline, but takes inspiration from a few mcu movies. it’s not canon compliant and everyone’s alive:)

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: lowkey angst and some tension, maybe a curse word or two? tell me if i missed anything!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Rogers!" you heard Tony's voice over the comms, "Where the hell are you?"

"Babysitting," you heard Steve's irritated voice, not only over the comms but also behind you, right before you saw him dashing past you to punch the Hydra agent you were fighting square in the jaw.

"Well, get America's ass over here, now," Tony grunted, clearly mid-fight himself, "we need backup."

"Go!" you yelled at him, spinning to take out another agent that was coming up behind Steve, "I got this!"

"You sure?" he asked, his tone sarcastically degrading, jumping while kicking two agents simultaneously. Showoff.

"Yes," you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, "I can handle them, go help the others!"

"Alright," he grunted as he pushed off another agent before running back in the direction he came from, towards the rest of the team.

"Cap, you coming or what?" Natasha spoke on the comms, calmer than Tony, but it was obvious she's just as in need of backup as he was.

"Coming!" Steve replied, before it went relatively quiet.

You finished up disarming the rest of the agents in your wing of the building. No one was calling for you on the comms yet, so you decided to make another round in the perimeter, make sure you didn't miss anything.

God knows captain know-it-all is gonna be on your ass about it if that's the case. And honestly, you have more than enough of that as is.

As you were walking down the hallway, you noticed a strange, glowing light coming from under the doors. Upon finding it was unlocked, you opened it to reveal a room that was entirely filled with the same blueish light you had seen, and it was all coming from a desk in the middle of it.

Approaching slowly and letting your eyes time to adjust, you got closer and closer, realizing the shiny object was a peculiar blue cube. A cube you knew well, perhaps even too well.

"Guys, if you're done over there, you might wanna come to my wing. There's something you're gonna want to see."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay, we have to keep looking, maybe they left some blueprints or anything that can indicate how they were planning on using it," Steve commanded, "or already have."

"Wait," you said before everyone split up to follow his orders, "as important as the why they got it is, I think the first question we should be asking is how the hell they got it. I thought it was locked away in the Asgard safe?" you looked at Bruce, who out of all of you had the most contact with Thor.

"It was, the last time I checked," he frowned. "I'll see if I can contact Thor, see if he knows anything."

"You do that," Tony interjected, "the rest of you, follow Cap's order while he and I have a little chat. Shall we Rogers?" he pulled a frowning Steve aside, while you all split up to try and find any information you could salvage.

In your search, you ran into Natasha. As you were both scouring the same desk for clues, working together like a well-oiled machine, you asked, "what did Tony want from Cap?"

"Probably to ask him where the hell was he when we needed his backup," she said matter-of-factly. "Or, you know, where the heck he was. We all know Steve's proper like that," she smiled, and you let out a chuckle at her words.

"Well, that’s good," you remarked, "since he really should've been there for you guys. I don't know what was that all about," you scrunched up your nose. "Nothing here," you added, closing the drawer you were looking through.

"Yeah, here too," Natasha closed her own drawer, "let's go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that day, you were all having dinner together as you went over some papers the others found at the Hydra base. Since you were already in the same place, you split the takeout, taking caution not to spill any of it.

"Cap," you asked, seeing the saltshaker was too far for you to reach, "Can you pass me th-" your words were abruptly cut by him planting it in your hand, going back to whatever it is he was reading.

"Thanks," you muttered, going back to your paperwork as well.

This might be the place to mention that pretty much ever since you joined the team, Steve exhibited a certain… coldness to you. Arrogance, indifference, call it what you want – from day one, Steve Rogers made sure you knew he was better than you.

And considering he was literally Captain America, it's not like you thought you were ever better than him in the first place.

You blended in with the rest of the team seamlessly, fighting and training among them. I mean sure, there were jokes about you being "the new kid", but it was just that – jokes. No one, or at least no one but Steve, seemed to view you as inferior.

You still fought well together, it was your job. Hell, he just passed you the salt before you even finished asking for it. Being attuned to each other's actions and attitude in that way made it all the more obvious how much he seemed to covet his leadership position, his place of dominance.

It got on your nerves. So. Much.

You see, if he were like that to everyone else on the team, so be it. But the absolute majority of it was directed towards you – the new girl. And it was clear that's all he ever saw you as. A girl.

Even that salt thing – he handed it over so impatiently, so suddenly, like one would handle an irritating child.

You had hoped he'd get over it at some point, but so far, that didn't seem to be the case. Well, you're not planning on going anywhere, so you'll both have to get over yourselves at some point.

"Hey!" Steve snapped his fingers in front of your eyes, shaking you from your reverie. "C'mon, listen up. Tony found something."

Oh well, that "some point" is probably not today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, Hydra wanted to use this," Natasha gestured at the Tesseract, "To power up a weapon they've designed?"

"That's the gist of it," Tony confirmed. "But from the looks of it, this thing is a lot more powerful than it seems. They planned on powering up a whole armored aircraft, plus all of their rifles using this cube. If that's possible, and by the looks of it, it very well might be, it's a lot stronger than you'd think."

"Wait, what do you mean their rifles as well?" you asked, your brows furrowing, "like, split this thing into pieces?"

"No, it looks like they were planning to project its power somehow, like…" Tony trailed off, struggling to explain.

"Like… Bluetooth?" you suggested.

"Yeah," tony snickered, "pretty much."

"Okay, but they didn't do that yet, right? We stopped them?" you looked around to the rest of your teammates before looking back at Tony.

"Seems like we did," Steve answered instead. "Bruce, any update on how they managed to get it?"

"Didn't hear anything back yet," the man in question shook his head, "I'll try again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Bruce ended up getting an answer from Thor, telling him to come to Asgard, you immediately volunteered to go with him. It was partially because you've never actually been there, and you were very curious as to why Thor would ask Bruce to come.

But also, you could use a break from a certain Captain.

You tried to ask Bucky and Sam what his deal with you was, several times, but they just shrugged and gave you vague, unhelpful answers. You even considered trying to convince Wanda to just tell you what he thinks about you, but you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of bothering you so much that you'd stoop that low.

So lately, you've been just trying to avoid him, which usually worked just fine, since it's not like he was that adamant about being around you either. That is, until you said you'd go with Bruce.

"No way," he immediately objected.

"Why?" you asked, "Bruce might need some backup, and I'd like to visit Asgard. Win-win."

"We need you here, going over the papers."

"C'mon Cap, I think we both know I do better out there in the field than I do with all the blueprints. Tony's way better with that, he's the only one who does it anyway."

"So what, you're just gonna go on a field trip?" he sneered.

"No, I'm going to look out for my friend and teammate." It took everything in you to keep your voice level.

"That's nice. Cause it would be a shame if Banner had to watch your back while you went on vacation."

You scoffed. "Where did you even get that idea? I said I was gonna give Banner backup. That's the first thing I said, cause that's the most important thing. End of story."

"Fine." Steve shrugged.

"Fine?"

"Yeah, if Banner's willing to take you with him, go."

"Good," you nodded.

"Great."

Somewhat awkwardly, you shuffled out of the room to tell Bruce to count you in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Natasha was the one to send both you and Bruce off to Asgard, the rest being otherwise occupied.

"Be safe," she told the both of you, holding each of your shoulders with one of her hands, before stepping away.

"We will," Bruce promised and you nodded, and just in time the Bifrost came down, taking the both of you where you needed to get.

Thor was the one to greet you, taking you both in for a warm hug before his face became serious.

"I didn't call you all the way here for nothing," he said, "come with me to the palace."

As you were on your way, he explained. "When you told me you encountered the Tesseract in Midgard, I immediately checked in our vault. Sure enough, there's still a Tesseract there."

"A Tesseract? I thought there was just the one," you frowned.

"We did too," Thor replied, "which is why I wanted you both to come see it for yourselves. Maybe you'd be able to point out some differences."

Getting to the palace, you wasted no time going down to the vault. And there it was – the Tesseract.

"How…" you trailed off. It looked completely identical to the one you had found on earth, the same blue tinted glint lighting up its surroundings.

"That's what I was hoping you might have an answer for," Thor sighed, his brows furrowing. "You said the one you encountered was previously in the possession of a group called… Chimera?"

"Hydra," Bruce corrected him. "And yes, we found it in one of their bases."

"Is it possible that the one we found was a fake?" you asked, lifting your eyes from the Tesseract. "Or maybe this one is the fake? Is there a way to know?"

"The only way to know is to try and use them," Bruce sighed, "but trying to wield the power of an infinity stone can be dangerous and destructive to the one who tries. It's something we should try and avoid."

"Okay," you thought, "can't we try and take this one to earth? See if maybe Tony could run some tests on them both, find us a lead as to which one's the real one?"

"That sounds like a good idea," Bruce agreed, "or at least the best one we've got. Can we take it?"

"Of course. I trust you to guard it," he looked at Bruce fondly.

"Thank you," Bruce's eyes and smile are sincere as he shakes Thor's hand.

You pick up the Tesseract tentatively, putting it in your bag and looking back up at Bruce, whose handshake with Thor was still lingering. You hated to interrupt, but you two needed to go back to earth to fill your friends in if you wanted to solve this mystery.

"Shall we?" you asked, somewhat softly.

"Yeah," Bruce shook his head slightly, "Let's go."

You trailed behind Bruce and Thor as you made your way back to the Bifrost, thinking it over.

If the Tesseract you found on earth was the fake, then why would Hydra have a fake? And if the one that was currently in your bag was the fake, then why would they just leave the real one lying around while the Avengers stormed their base? And at any case, how did they manage to make such an accurate replica?

"Thank you, Thor," you said sincerely once you reached the end of the Bifrost. "We're going to figure this out."

"I know you will," he said, and touched your shoulder affectionately.

You said your goodbyes, and then, you and Bruce started to make the journey home, until suddenly you felt a force push you out of the Bifrost, and before you knew it you landed on dirt, rolling a few times, Bruce landing a few feet away from you.

Hurriedly getting up, you helped Bruce to his feet as well, before the two of you looked around to find yourself in the middle of what seemed to be a desert, but it was like nothing you've seen before.

The sand was orange, red, much darker than it was in deserts you've been to. You and Bruce landed in some sort of valley, surrounded by large dunes of the dark sand, creating a perfect circle around you.

"Have any idea where we are?" you asked, trying to keep your cool, "Or how we got here?"

"I-"

His words were cut off by the sound of a gun cocking behind you. Instinctively, you crouched down and spun around, sending your leg out, taking the man down with a kick to his ankles.

But it wasn't enough. Before you could fully get back up, you and Bruce were already surrounded by agents, and the fight quickly escalated into a hand-to-hand one, having to take on multiple agents at a time. At some point, Bruce hulked out, but even then, you were still fighting them all simultaneously.

You barely managed to take in the glint of a knife from the corner of your eye before the felt the sharp sting of it on your ribs, your hand automatically going to hold the wound. The man started running in the other direction, which was when you realized you weren't the objective of this attack.

Your bag was.

"Bruce!" you yelled, trying to get his attention, as you started trying to run after the agent.

But before Bruce could even notice you, a deep rumble sounded through the air, the prominent crackling of thunder. You turned around just in time to see Thor coming down from the sky, Mjolnir clad tightly in his fist, sending bolts of lightning at your enemies.

You turned back and tried to keep running, but you couldn't do it fast enough, the wound in your ribcage still bleeding, and soon, the agent disappeared from sight.

You were panting when the battle died down, a mere few minutes after Thor's arrival. You didn't turn around, even as you sensed Bruce and Thor approaching you from behind.

"I lost it," you said, still unable to meet their eyes.

"They took it," Bruce said gently. "Now, let me take a look at that wound."

Well, you thought, that's not how Steve's going to see it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You lost it?" Steve asked, his disbelief clear. His eyes were trained on you, a frown on his face.

"She got hurt trying to protect it, Steve," Bruce answered before you could. "We'll get it back."

Steve's eyes didn't waver from yours, even as Bruce spoke.

"I'm sorry," you said, your voice coming out smaller than you wanted to. You cleared your throat, continuing stronger, "I did everything I could."

"I told you, you shouldn't have gone out there," he sighed, frustrated.

"Really, Cap?" you asked, "is this the time for 'I told you so's? for a hundred-year-old that's really fucking childish," you said through your teeth.

"Watch it," he snapped, "next time, maybe if you listen to me you won't get hurt."

"If I'm that bad of a soldier, Captain," you spat out, "am I not dispensable to you? Why do you even care if I get hurt? I bet it would've been just the same to you if I died but you still had the Tesseract."

Your words rendered him speechless, and you turned to walk towards the med bay. Bruce offered you his arm, but the look you sent him made it very obvious you weren't interested in company.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The wound healed well. You and Steve were… civil, to say the best.

You'd admit your words that day you were back from Asgard were harsh. You'd even admit that to his face, if he'd change his attitude towards you. Which he didn't, so really, maybe he deserved to hear them.

Anyways, a few days after the Asgard thing, the wound was fine, and you had an idea.

"Hey," you asked Tony, who happened to be next to you at the moment, "what if we go ask Strange?"

"What?" he looked up from the robot he was currently tinkering with.

"What if we went to Strange to ask him about the Tesseract?" you repeated, "he'd probably know more than us about this stuff."

Tony wasted no time in calling a team meeting, in which you told the others your idea about reaching out to Strange.

"That's a really good idea," Steve said.

Taken aback, you opened your mouth to speak, but before you could, he continued, "I'm coming with you."

Yep, it was way too good to be true.

"Why?" you asked, frowning. "I thought Tony would come, since he's already had a run-in with him before."

"Yes, but I think we can agree he's not the most diplomatic person out there," Steve smirked.

"I'm right here," Tony remarked dryly.

Steve paid him no mind and continued, "And besides, he's pretty much the only one except Bruce that knows enough to figure out Hydra's blueprints, and we still need all hands on deck in that front.  So, I'm coming with you," he finished in a tone that left no room for argument.

You considered objecting anyways, but knew whatever you'd say would sound childish and tactless, so you simply nodded at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since the Sanctum Dr. Strange usually resided in was in New York, there was no need for Steve and you to take the Quinjet, but you did take a car from Tony's collection, which Steve drove. The car ride was filled with quite the uncomfortable silence, but at least it was better than arguing, right?

Small victories.

When Steve parked the car about a block away from the Sanctum, you both got out swiftly, blending right in with your civilian clothes, and making your way to the doorstep.

There, Steve knocked on the door hesitantly. You both listened, but there was no answer. You held onto the handle and managed to open the unlocked door easily. You exchanged a look with Steve, both of you on high alert, and entered through the door, Steve closing it behind you.

You both silently stood in the threshold, contemplating your next move. Eventually, you took a tentative step forward, and just then a red object whipped right in front of your eyes, making you stumble backwards, right into Steve. You quickly turned around to apologize, but before you noticed it the red fabric was wrapped tightly around your arms, holding them tight against your torso. Steve was in a similar predicament, and since the cape wasn’t that long, you two were left tied face to face and extremely close to each other.

You tried to wiggle out of the fabric's hold, but it was almost like it tightened with your every move, adjusting itself accordingly. You struggled against it, trying to move even the slightest bit, but it wouldn't budge. You sighed, looking up at Steve.

Oh my god, he was way closer than you'd realized. His wide frame towering over you, you swallowed dryly before you whispered, "What now?"

Before he could answer, the sound of footsteps carried through the halls, and soon enough, Dr. Stephen Strange was descending down the stairs of the New York Sanctum to greet you.

"Hello," he said, his face indifferent, "I wasn't expecting you."

"Well, we weren't expected to get so… tied up, so that makes three of us," Steve remarked, prompting you to chuckle.

"Hello, Dr. Strange," you introduced yourself to him, "the Captain and I were wondering if you could help us with some… Tesseract trouble."

"Sounds awful," he smirked slightly. "Follow me," he started going up the stairs again and you exchanged a look with Steve. "Oh right," he gestured with his hand, and the red fabric detangled itself from the two of you, and turned out to be a cloak as it wrapped around Strange's shoulders. "I almost forgot," the man chuckled, "Now come on."

You and Steve exchanged another look as you rubbed your arm where the cloak dug into it a little, before following Strange up the stairs and into the library, where he offered you two chairs to sit in before sitting down in front of you. In the air. He was sitting down while floating.

Still less weird than the cloak, in your opinion.

"So," he started, "what, uh, Tesseract trouble are you having, exactly?"

Steve and you took turns explaining the situation to him, from finding a Tesseract in a Hydra base to losing the one that was previously in Asgard. Steve, to your relief and wonder, said nothing about it being your fault, but just said it wasn't in your possession anymore.

"So," you summed up, "we were wondering if you knew how anyone could manage to replicate the Tesseract this well, and how can we tell which one's the fake one. Without using them, of course."

"Well, those are great questions. I don't know of another way to determine if an infinity stone is indeed real besides taking the risk and trying to use it, so I can't help you with that. But as for the fake, I believe opening the Tesseracts will provide a good enough answer. You see, the Tesseract isn't that hard to fake. Might be a little expensive, sure, but some lights and plastic and you're set, and from what I understand Hydra isn't exactly struggling financially. But," he sighed, "you can’t fake an infinity stone. For most people, once you'll come in direct contact with it, you'll feel its power, and also its destructive properties."

"So the only way to know if an infinity stone is real is to risk touching it?" Steve asked.

"As far as I know of, yes," Strange nodded.

"Thank you," you said, "for your help. We sure get back to the compound, but we'll let you know if there are any big developments."

When Steve and you got back to the compound, everyone was already waiting for you, and you told them what Strange told you. Together, you all went to open the tesseract you had found in the Hydra base.

"Be careful not to touch what's inside," you warned, and Tony put of his Iron Man arm before breaking the side of the glowing cube, opening it to find…

A bunch of wires and lightbulbs. They didn't even try to make it look like an infinity stone.

"Well, the one in Asgard could've also been a fake," Natasha shrugged. "This doesn't really tell us anything. C'mon guys, we'll continue the search tomorrow," she touched your shoulder comfortingly before slipping away.

You were about to do the same when you saw Steve fidgeting with his sleeve, around where the cloak was wrapped around him. You walked up to him.

"You okay?" you asked, expecting him to brush you off.

"Yeah, I just think this cape held on a little too strong," he chuckled, removing his hand to reveal a stain on the fabric of his right suit sleeve, on you knew all too well was blood.

"Oh my god," you frowned. "C'mon, I'll help you clean it up," you gestured towards the med bay.

The walk there was brief and silent, and when you got there, you told Steve to sit down before ripping his sleeve enough to see the shallow wound.

"You don't have to do this," Steve said, as you looked for some gauze pad and wet it with water.

"I know," you said, "but since I'm the reason we needed to go there in the first place, I am doing this."

"You know it's not your fault, right? You couldn’t have known he'd have a magical cape that ties up people."

"That's not what I was talking about," you mumbled, before cleaning the wound gently.

Steve sighed. "I guess I do owe you an apology for the Asgard thing. I acted like a jerk. I'm sorry."

"No, you were right," you chuckled bitterly, "it's my fault we lost what might've been the real space stone to Hydra. You were just the only one willing to admit that."

"Well, I hope you know what you said about me then wasn't true. I care. You know, if you get hurt. And I wouldn't want anyone to die so I can have anything."

"I know," you said dryly, "you're too perfect for that."

You finished cleaning the wound and started bandaging it.

"That's not- god, I really do have a way with words, don't I? you probably hate me by now."

"I don't hate you, Steve," you looked up from his arm to his eyes, and he smiled at you. "Relax, it doesn't mean I like you all that much either," you smirked, prompting him to laugh.

"Yeah, that's fair, I guess. Thank you," he gestured to his now bandaged arm.

"Sure," you sent a small smile his way before walking away.

Maybe Steve Rogers wasn't that bad after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, scratch that, Steve Rogers was the worst.

The conversation actually started out civil. Nice, even.

"Hey, Cap," you started, "do you know if Bruce found anything on the wiring in the fake Tesseract yet?"

"Nope," he turned to face you.

"Oh. Well, thanks," you smiled, "I'll just…" you gestured at the exit, but he stopped you.

"Wait. Actually, I wanted to talk to you. Can you…" he gestured at the empty chair in front of him, and you sat down.

"About the whole Tesseract thing," he started, "I think you should consider sitting this one out."

"What?" you frowned.

"I just…" he sighed, "I think it might be better if you sat this one out."

"Steve, I found the Tesseract in the first place," you said, getting angrier by the second, "I'm not backing down from this."

"You found the fake Tesseract," he corrected, "and lost what might have been the real one."

"I thought you said it wasn't on me."

"It's not, but still."

"I don't get it, a few days ago you were telling me it wasn't my fault and now you're benching me because of it?"

"I just… you're clearly very invested in this-"

"Which is why I deserve to stay on this mission," you cut him off, fighting to keep your voice level.

"Which is why I think you should sit it out," he ignored you, "because you don't need to get yourself hurt for this."

"I'm an Avenger just like you," you snapped, "you might get hurt as well. So might everyone else. I don't get why I'm any different."

"I told you, because you're too emotionally invested," he insisted, his tone rising.

"Oh, you're benching me cause I'm 'emotional'? really? That's your excuse?"

"That's not an excuse, I-"

"No, tell me, Steve, what's your problem with me? Just spit it out, clearly you have one. What have I done to you to make you hate me?" you were yelling now, exasperated at his flawed logic.

"I don't hate you."

"That's all you have to say?" you scoffed. "You know what? If you're letting whatever your problem is with me to get in the way of the mission, maybe you're the emotional one."

The charged atmosphere was interrupted by Natasha's frame showing up in the doorway.

"Hey guys," she started, before looking between the two of you. "Is this a bad time?" she waited a second before shrugging, "Doesn't matter. There are sightings of suspicious activity midtown, we think it can be Hydra. We gotta move, be down in five," she stated, before walking down the hallway, leaving Steve and you alone once more.

"I-" he started.

"Let's go," you said at the same time, before simply turning away to go and suit up. You had a battle to win, no matter what he thought.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

"So," Tony started once you were all on the Quinjet, "Here's what we know – Hydra is probably in the possession of the real Tesseract, since we just got word of people seeing a big aircraft over midtown. My guess, they wanted to test the new weapons out before using them on a larger scale," he said, "which is why it would be the best thing to stop them now."

You split up into groups, Tony, Wanda and Sam going after the aircraft, Bucky and Steve go one way on the ground, you and Natasha the other. Thanking every god you knew you weren't paired up with Steve, you and Natasha ran and turned into a large square, starting to point people away from the steady stream of Hydra agents that was coming your way.

You and Natasha were both fighting off the agents together, most of the civilians already cleared from the area, when suddenly, they just… stopped, all in unison.

"Avengers," a voice with a heavy accent boomed through the air, presumably from the aircraft, magnified by speakers, "I know what you're here for," the voice chuckled. "Come and get it."

All at once, the Hydra agents in front of you pulled out something from their bags, or the pockets of their jackets, and it took you a second to realize what it is – exact replicas of the Tesseract. Dozens of them, maybe even hundreds.

You looked over at Natasha, who was just as exasperated as you were. "We gotta break these things," she said, and you nodded in understanding, charging at the men and women with renewed energy.

Because this was your chance to fix what you broke, to make things right. To show Steve you're better than your mistakes.

That was the mantra that was going in your head, as you smashed Tesseract after Tesseract, even as you found nothing but wires, you kept repeating it – fix what you broke.

Slowly but surely, you and Natasha tackled and defeated more and more agents, moving closer towards where they were coming from – the aircraft, that was lowering more and more, sending out more agents, in a wave that seemed never ending.

Expect when you got closer, you noticed that there was a staircase going down from it. A staircase that at the top of stood a small an in old fashioned army clothes, holding, how not, a small, glowing cube in his hand.

Your vision zeroed in on him. You had a target.

Barely stopping to disarm the other agents, you quickly made your way through the crowd of agents surrounding you, until you were right at the bottom of the staircase. You looked up to see the man still standing on top, smiling at the chaos unraveling at his feet.

You decided to take advantage of the fact he hasn't seen you yet, and climbed the staircase from the bottom side, hanging on to creases and bumps, to keep the advantage. When you got to the top, you tried to swing yourself over the rails. You would've fallen down if a hand wouldn't have reached out, catching your arm and throwing you back on the staircase, right side up.

"Ah, the new kid," the man snickered above you, "I've heard about you. Were you really the one they sent here?"

"No one sent me," you hissed as you got up. "Now hand over the stone and it'll be much more pleasant for you."

"So much spite," he laughed, "but alas, I don't think I will, sweetheart."

"Whatever you say," you delivered a poignant kick to his knee, "sweetheart."

You tried to punch him, but this time he was quicker, avoiding your blow and landing one of his own on your shoulder. You shrugged it off and continued to try and pry the stone from his hands. The struggle was drawing attention, and Natasha yelled at you to watch out just in time before a Hydra agent from down there shot at you, only missing narrowly.

You continued to fight the man, who was stronger than he let on, considering he was fending you off with only one hand, but you also had getting shot to worry about, which was in his favor.

At last, you managed to knock the Tesseract out of his hand, and it fell to the ground in a shattering sound. Out of the broken pieces, there were no wires to be seen, only a stone.

Bingo.

You heard Steve shout something at you from far down, but you weren't paying attention, instead diving for the stone, grasping it in your hand, along with some shards of glass that cut you, but you couldn't care less, because this was it.

Fix what you broke.

You concentrated with all your might of the stone, its power almost physically throbbing in your hand, along with the excruciating pain, but you didn't care.

Fix what you broke.

Your breathing became labored, the pain near insufferable when you finally did it – opened a portal. You didn't know where it led, but the important thing is, it wasn't here. You threw the stone away with all the power you had left in you, praying it would reach so far you'd never see it again.

Fix. What. You. Broke.

Just in time, the portal closed, and you sighed gratefully. The pain was starting to take over now, your mind dancing on the edge of consciousness when you heard voices coming towards you. You wanted to tell them you were fine, but you found yourself falling to the ground, registering the pain of the fall before everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up, your first thought was that the light's too bright. It felt almost like a hangover, but way worse, and

"I didn't even drink anything," you said, before breaking into a dry cough.

In a second, Steve was there by your side with a glass of water, holding it to your mouth. You took some small sips until you calmed down enough to remember that while no, you didn't drink anything, you did wield the power of an infinity stone, which means it's a miracle you're even alive.

So really, you should be thankful all you ended up with is an awful hangover. Of sorts. A magical hangover.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked, breaking you from your reverie, and making you meet his gaze with yours.

"As much as I can be," you replied, your gaze falling to the blanket that was laid on you. "how long was I out?"

"About 18 hours," he said solemnly, "we didn't… we weren't sure if you'd wake up," he admitted, his voice dropping below a whisper by the end.

"Can't get rid of me that easily," you joked. Despite everything Steve put you through, for some reason you couldn't stand to see him this devastated.

"No, don't-" he sighed, "no one wants to get rid of you. Least of all me. Hell, thinking I'd lost you and it was my fault… hurt more than I could imagine."

"It wouldn't have been your fault, if I, you know," you shrugged, "that was my choice. I had to fix what I broke."

"No, you didn't," he insisted, his eyes snapping up to meet yours once more, "because you didn't break anything. None of this was your fault, and yet you fixed it, alone. You risked wielding the power of an infinity stone to keep earth safe, alone. You shouldn't have been alone."

"It worked out just fine. Besides, what difference would it have made, one more injured person?"

"If I was quick enough… I don't believe the stone could've taken both of us down."

"Us?" you smirked, "I didn't know we were an 'us'. But it's fine, I can deal with that, I guess," you shrugged, and Steve chuckled. You couldn't tell if you were imagining it, but it looked like the slightest of blushes was sprinkled on his cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

As a part of getting you back to normal, you started training again, moderately at first. But as you regained your strength, your training was almost as intense as it was before. Or maybe, even more intense.

You see, before that, you weren't training with Steve.

Since you didn't really get off to a good start, you'd always train with the others – Nat, Wanda, Sam… other non-super-soldier humans with a very human self-discipline, meaning that you could take breaks and chat in between reps.

Alas, those days were far behind you. I mean, not that far, that's just kind of dramatic, but you get it; you trained with Steve way more often and it was a nightmare.

You didn't know what standards Steve held for his other friends, but if he's like that with everyone then maybe it was better off not being his friend.

"What was that?" Steve asked, his eyes not moving from the timer, which looked comically small in his large hands.

"I said," you repeated between labored breaths and fast push-ups, "if you're like this with all your friends maybe I was better off not being one."

"Who said you are?" he shot back with a smirk, "and… time!"

You collapsed on the training room mattress, letting out a deep breath. "how much was that?"

"98 pushups in one minute," he stated, "not bad."

"Okay, Mr. captain super soldier," you breathed. "You know, maybe I should go back to doing these with Sam. A human being with normal people achievements," you sighed, faux-dreamily.

"I thought you wanted to get better?" Steve chuckled, extending his hand out to help you off the mattress.

"I'll tell him you said that," you smirked and took his hand, letting him help you up. Your touch lingered for the briefest of moments before you let go of his hand.

"Be my guest," Steve shot back, before taking a couple of sparring staffs off the wall, handing you one. An unusual technique in battle, but you found that practicing them with Steve provided a decent challenge to you both, since you were better with it than he was.

With both of you getting into a fighting stance, you started the match by dashing forward, trying to land one on his shoulder, but he quickly spun to the side, accompanied by a move of his staff that, fortunately for you, was a bit poorly aimed, thus only hit you in the arm.

You continued this back and forth for the next few minutes, one graceful move answered by a steady block from the other side, almost like a delicate dance. After a while, you felt yourself getting a little tired, and knew if you didn't end it now, he'd win.

And well, you just can't give him that kind of satisfaction.

You quickly planted your staff on the ground, using the momentum to jump up and wrap your legs around his neck, using your weight to push him down onto the mattress. You'll have to thank Natasha for that move.

His staff fell from his hand as he hit the floor, and you used your advantage to pin his arms above his head, making sure to lean enough of your weight on his torso so he couldn't move. You were both panting from the exertion of the fight, and you could feel a bead of sweat traveling down your back.  

He smirked up at you. "Did Nat teach you that one?"

"Maybe," you raised your eyebrow in amusement. "But I executed it to perfection."

"You sure?" he asked, and before you could answer he broke free from your grasp, flipping the both of you so your torso was pinned below him, catching your arms the same way you did to him moments ago.

Breathing heavily, your tongue darted out to wet your lips. "Well, maybe not perfection," you murmured, "but I'd say I did pretty well. You're in nice shape for a hundred-year-old," you slowly grinned up at him.

"Just nice?" he mock pouted, not moving from his position above you.

"Yeah," you smirked, "from what I've seen."

"Well, maybe you've seen nothing yet," he suggested with a quirk of his eyebrow, his head lowering even closer to yours.

"Maybe," you said softly, standing your ground. His eyes were boring into yours, you could hear the shallow sound of his breath, feel it even.

Closing the distance between you was almost more impulse than an actual aware decision. Your lips met his soft ones, his momentum pushing you back against the mattress, your head hitting it with a soft thud you paid no mind to. One of his hands left yours, coming to cup your cheek as his tongue hesitantly entered your mouth, continuing eagerly when you let out a hum of approval, one of your hand sneaking around his neck and tangling in the hair on the nape of his neck, pulling slightly.

When you finally parted, your breaths were once again labored, but for an entirely different reason now.

"Okay, maybe you are in good shape," you rasped, shrugging as well as you could.

He chuckled before his eyes met yours. "You don't hate me," he stated incredulously.

"I already told you I didn't. I take it back, maybe old age is getting to you," you giggled.

He groaned lightly, making your laughter grow stronger.

Okay, so Steve Rogers wasn't the worst. Final verdict.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

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[mudhorn-djarin19]

The Unexpected - (Agent Whiskey x f!reader)

Summary: After you and Jack have a break up you realize you are pregnant with is child. What now? (Came to me cause we know Jack lost his child and sweetheart canonically. He loved them and deff seems like he would still want a wife/kids someday. So what if he finally gets it... but :X) Rating: Teen Warnings: unplanned pregnancy, mentions of abortion, and language Masterlist Join my tag list via here! You sigh as you make your way to Champs office with papers in hand. You didn’t want to have to transfer partners but it was necessary. You couldn’t work with Jack now that you had broken up. The two of you ended on fairly decent terms but there was still awkwardness and tension there. Approaching Champ’s door you knock waiting for his response. Once given confirmation you enter and sit in one of the big leather chairs in front of his desk.

“What can I do for you today Agent Sangria?” He says with a smile.

You place the papers on his desk and slide them his way. “I’m putting in a partner change request. Agent Whiskey and I as you know where an item and we are no longer. It would be awkward to continue to work with him.” Champ takes the papers with a frown. Looking over them he sighs. “Well I hate to see that my two best agents won’t be working together anymore but I understand. I will transfer you to work with Tequila from now on if that’s okay with you.” You nod, giving confirmation that Tequila was fine. You sign the papers needed for confirmation of partner change and thank Champ for his understanding. Heading out of his office you bump into no other than Agent Whiskey himself.

“Oh sorry da-... sorry.” He says, moving to the side to let you by.

“It’s fine.” You say quickly and continue on your way down to the cafeteria to meet Ginger for lunch. Not continuing the conversation much longer.

You make your way into the cafeteria, grabbing some food and then finding Ginger at a table in the far back corner. “Hey.” She says with a lighthearted smile. “Doing okay?” “Yeah. I’m managing.” You sigh. “I just put in my transfer request with Champ. Thankfully he understood and I’ll be working with Tequila from now on.” Ginger gently rubs your back, knowing your sadness. “I know it makes you sad. The breakup, having to do all this but things will be okay. Tequila’s at least a good agent. He’s nice and funny.” She says.

“Yeah I know he is. I am glad to be getting partnered with him.” You sigh. “I just hate this. If Jack and I didn’t get into the stupid argument about life I wouldn’t be here right now.” “Want to talk about it?” Ginger frowns. She knew you broke up last month but hadn’t heard the full story yet. 

“Jack and I got into an argument over the stupidest thing. I was discussing the next steps for us. Like moving in together, possibly marriage and even kids at some point far down the line. But he got all tense and acted like he didn’t want that. It hurt. I thought he loved me… I mean we were together for 2 and a half years.” You sigh, keeping your tears in check. “I wanted to create a picture perfect life with him.” 

“I’m sorry hun. You’ll find someone who wants to do that with you I am sure. He’ll realize his mistakes then.” She comforts. “I know I will but it’s going to be a while. There’s too much pain there. I’m still in love with him. It hurt to call it quits but I had to.” You say.

Ginger continues to console you throughout your meal, ensuring you all will be good within time. The next week goes by with ease until one morning you wake up feeling sick. You run to the toilet and throw up. You groan fearing you have come down with a stomach bug until it hits you… your period hasn’t come in over a month. “Shit shit shit.” You swear pacing around your bathroom in fear. You work at calming yourself down. Thankfully it was your day off from work so you could take the day to go get some tests and relax. Once you ate and got to feeling a bit better you ran to the nearby store and bought 4 different tests. You sigh and pee on them all as told. Placing them all on the counter when finished you set the timer for the designated wait time. It feels like ages until the timer goes off. You whine at the thought of looking at them but know you have to. You slowly walk over and look at them and see that all 4 have 2 lines clear as the day showing. Tears immediately fill your eyes as you drop down onto the floor. Clutching your chest you sob realizing you are pregnant with none other than Jack’s child. Sure you knew it was a risk when you had unprotected sex but you never figured it would have happened with you being on the pill. It must have gotten messed up somehow. You continue to sob trying to rack your mind around what is happening. What do you do? Do you keep it? Of course you do, you thought. You always wanted kids. Do you tell Jack? If you did, would he be mad? And if you don’t would he notice and figure out it’s his or assume it’s someone else's and you were cheating on him. You groan and pick up your phone, calling Ginger. 

“Hello? It’s your day off shouldn’t you be-” She says but stops when she hears your sobs. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?” “Ginger I…” You gulp. “Ginger I’m pregnant. I don’t know what to do.” “Woah holy shit…  Okay first off. Do you know whose it is?” She asks, already figuring the answer but wanting to confirm.

“Yes of course. It’s Jack’s. Who else's would it be?” You groan. “What do I do? I’m scared to tell him but I don’t know how to hide it from him. I want to keep it though.” She is silent for a minute minus her humming while she thinks. “Well he’s going to find out at some point. But in the meantime, we can see about maybe transferring you to be a tech agent. You definitely don’t want to be on the field if you are carrying a baby. Plus if you’re a tech agent you won’t have to be around Jack much.” She assures.

“Y-yeah. I guess that could work. Shit. I hate to make Champ put in another change for me. But surely he’ll understand. Poor Tequila though now he has to yet again find a new partner.” You frown. “He’ll be fine. Don’t stress. Champ will surely understand. Give him a call today to get it in motion while you're out. I got to get back to work now but if you need anything else don’t hesitate to call me. I’m here for you.” She says before saying her goodbyes and hanging up.

You sigh and immediately call Champ once hang up from your call with Ginger.

“Hey Champ, I hate to do this but I need to put in another transfer.” You sigh.

“Is everything okay? I thought you said working with Tequila would be okay.” She says.

“No no it is. It’s just… I can’t do field work for a while.” You gulp. “I just discovered a few minutes ago that I’m pregnant.” “O-Oh. Well…” Champ says unsure what to say. “Understandable. I can transfer you to tech agent or medical for the time being. Whichever you prefer.” “I’d like to be tech agent. I- It’s obviously Jack’s and  don’t want him to find out about this quiet yet. Not after what went down between us. He won’t be around me much if at all if I am assigned there.” You say.

“Okay. I will put in your paperwork today and you can start work in tech tomorrow first thing.” He states. “If you need anything else or any help you know where to reach me.” He says before ending the call.

Three months passed since you discovered you were pregnant making you now at four months and you were definitely starting to show some. You were enjoying your job change as a tech agent but wouldn’t lie about missing the action and being able to travel as an agent. Ginger had been kind and helped you out with anything you needed. Such as helping you shop for some supplies, going to doctors appointments for support and just being there for you emotionally through it all. She was truly the bestest friend you could ever ask for. By now practically everyone who you worked with closely knew you were pregnant but thankfully no one said anything to Jack, and you were still able to avoid him. You only had a few more months to push through and they were surely going to be the roughest but you’d manage. You still worried about what you’d do if Jack found out but that was a problem for that day.

Another two months passed and you were very much showing now at six months. It was hard to hide it and the pain was getting stronger. The baby was kicking a lot now. The day was going fine as you went over some reports from Tequila’s last mission you did tech for him until Ginger swore under her breath and hopped up from her seat.

“What’s going on?” You asked, turning in your chair to face her. She was heading towards the door when she stopped and looked at you. “I need to go to medical. We have an incoming emergency from the mission I was just working on.” You looked at her and processed what she was saying until you finally remembered that her last mission she teched on was Jack’s. “Wh-what happened?” “Hun, stay here and relax. I am sure he’s okay. I will explain later.” She says, quickly escaping. You frowned and looked down at your shaking hands. It may have been months since you two had broken up but your love for him was still there and you were worried he was seriously injured. What if he was? Would he recover? You worked at relaxing your mind. Ginger will tell you everything soon you assure yourself. You sigh and turn yourself back to your report to try and focus your mind.

A few hours passed when Ginger finally returned. “He’s okay. He’s tired and sore, got a few stitches and bandages but he’s alive. If you’d want to go see him you can.”

You thanked her and made your way down to the medical wing. You sighed and rubbed your belly, knowing now that you were going to see him he’d notice and you’d have to explain. The elevator dinged and you stepped off into the medical facility. You checked with the main nurse on what room Jack was in before heading that way.  You gently knocked on the door before entering and sitting down on the chair next to his bed. He was asleep, probably from medication that Ginger had given him. You reached out and gently grabbed a hold of his hand. That small gesture must have woken him because his light snores stopped and he slowly turned his head to look at you. “Hey. What’re you doing here?” He questions, voice raspy. He coughs then, explaining why his voice is like that.

“Hey. Um Ginger told me you got hurt on the mission. I just wanted to come and see if you were okay.” You said, still holding his hand.

“Oh.” He coughs. “Yeah I’m okay. She fixed me up. Just got caught in some crossfire. Got a few shots in me but all good now.” You nod and lightly smile. You hold his gaze for a bit until he works at sitting himself up. When he does he looks down and sees your belly. His gaze turns from soft to dark then, a glare across his eyes.

“I see you move on fast.” He grumbles.

“I haven’t… It’s-” You start to say.

“Oh? So then what?” He glares at you.

“No Jack.” You sigh. “I-it’s yours.” His glare softens as his eyes widen, mouth opening slightly. “I-I… what?” “It’s yours Jack. There’s no one else's it could be. You’re the only person I have been with in years. I realized not long after we broke up.” You frown and look down. “It’s why I transferred from being an agent. For the safety of us both.” Jack’s eyes are still wide as he takes this all in. “Why did you keep this from me?” He frowns.

“Why would I tell you? I figured you’d be angry or something. We broke up because we couldn’t agree on our future, remember? I wanted to create a future with you. Like this but, you acted as if you didn’t want such a thing and it hurt me. I knew from the moment I found out I was keeping it, I’ve always wanted kids of my own and I finally have one. I won’t ask you to be in the picture or pay for child support if you don’t want to.” Jack’s frown deepens and he shifts to sit on the edge of the bed, reaching a hand out to touch your belly. “Sugar, I am so sorry. I should have explained myself better months ago but, I just didn’t know how. I was scared. I still am, but I want this.” You looked at him confused.

“I want a future with you sugar. I want to marry you someday, have a little family and such. It’s all I ever wanted too. I am just scared to lose it all again after what happened in my past. It took me by surprise. I wasn’t sure how to react. I am so so sorry for not explaining myself sooner.” He states.

You lift your hand up to place over his on your belly. “So…” You start to say.

He nods. “Darlin’ I never wanted us to call it quits. I want you and only you. Well, I want you and this new bundle of joy we have now.” He smiles lightly.

Tears start to fill your eyes as you listen to his words. “I-I’m sorry. For getting so mad, not letting you explain and calling it off. I’m really sorry. I’ve spent the last few months feeling miserable. I missed you… I never stopped loving you.” You sob.

Jack leans forward and wraps his arms around you, pulling you as close to him as he can. “It’s okay. I am sorry too. I’m not going anywhere now though. I am staying right here with you and this little one. Okay?” You nod. “Yes, please. I want you to stay and be with us.” “I will. I promise.” He kisses your forehead. “Now, what are we having?” “A little girl. She’s due in 3 months.” You smile.

Jack’s eyes light up. “Did you pick a name for her yet?”

You shake your head. “No. I wanted you to pick it honestly.”

He hums in thought. “What about Elizabeth? It was my mother’s name.”

“I love it.” You smile.

3 months later when the baby finally came Jack was there through it all as he promised. You smiled at your now fiance. He had popped the question to you finally not too long ago and you both were finally living together. You smiled at each other as you handed him the baby. Tears fell from both of your eyes as you were both happy and where you wanted to be in life. Together with each other.

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[zaph1337]

Monster Hunter Rating 23: Plesioth, the Water Wyvern

Hey, guys. Sorry for not posting yesterday, but that day was stressful for a couple of reasons I’d rather not get into, and I couldn’t start writing this until close to midnight, so I decided to finish it today (which is why I’m going off the Monster List order rather than the Quest List, as an anon suggested). But don’t worry, ‘cause a shark dragon’s worth the wait. Let’s see what Plesioth has to offer!

(How it appears in Monster Hunter 1)

(How it appears in Monster Hunter Generations)

Appearance: Plesioth is an interesting take on the “shark dragon” concept; unlike Cephalos/drome, which had a clear divide between head and neck, the head of Plesioth, which is more in line with sharks like the great white, is the same width as the neck, which has the same width as most of the body. This gives Plesioth a body type closer to a fish like some kinds of koi or carp than a dragon. Speaking of carps, despite being a shark dragon, Plesioth has carp-like scales and even colors, which seems weird, but according to Wang Fu, a Chinese scholar from the Han dynasty, Chinese dragons, which influenced descriptions of dragons in Japan, had features reminiscent of several animals, including scales like those of a carp. Now, this could be a coincidence, but even if it is, it’s a pretty cool detail.

Plesioth also have a lot of spiny fins, which are similar to those of several species of bass, though the Plesioth’s have spines which extend beyond their membranes. Their wings are also modeled after these fins, but their greater size means that it’s easier to see the gradient on the membranes, which, by the way, looks really nice and complements the colors on the main body really well. I really like this design! It nails the water dragon look really well and has some nice touches that accentuate that. It’s definitely my favorite design out of all the monsters I’ve talked about so far, so y’know what? 10/10.

Behavior: Plesioth are ambush hunters that feed on both under- and above-water prey; for the latter, they prefer to wait until the landlubbers get too close to the water’s edge, just like a crocodile. Their sensitive hearing means that they’re likely to hear the footsteps of anything coming for a drink, but it also means that really loud sounds can frighten them and cause them to flail wildly. They’re territorial enough to regularly patrol their “turf,” but they also fear confrontation due to having weak defenses, and will avoid picking fights if at all possible. Once a Plesioth decides to fight, though, it can be rather persistent, even coming out of the water to attack its target.

Now, that’s not to say they’re uncomfortable on land; they may not be the apex predators that they are underwater, but they’re still a force to be reckoned with. Not many predators will try to feed on something that’s 65 feet long at its smallest and 127 feet long at its largest. Oh, yeah, did I not mention that this thing’s the largest monster I’ve talked about so far? My bad. There are larger monsters that pose a threat to Plesioth, though, which is why these wyverns never like to be far from a body of water. They have to surface at some point, though, because for some reason, they don’t have gills, meaning that they can’t breathe underwater. This a dragon that’s so devoted to an underwater life, it gave up wings that could be used to fly for wings that act as fins, and it still needs to breathe air!? Get your act together, evolution! Okay, it kinda did; they can breathe air both through their mouths and, like amphibians, through their skin, but I don’t see how considering they have scales.

Finally, I should probably point out that like real sharks, Plesioth are viviparous, meaning that they have wombs, rather than lay eggs. And also like real sharks, the babies in the womb will fight and eat each other. Ah, the majesty of nature can be so nauseating at times. The concept of a monster that’s the top of the food chain underwater and still formidable on land is pretty cool, but the fact that Plesioth can’t breathe water is ridiculous. I guess they needed an explanation for why it would ever spend time out of the water? Well, whatever the reason, it’s not like Plesioth are likely to be in danger of something attacking them when they stick their heads out to breathe, so it’s not that big of a deal. 7/10.

Abilities: Those spines aren’t for show; they contain a sleep-inducing neurotoxin that’ll put you to sleep after a single scratch. The wiki also says that Plesioth can inject the toxin through bites, but it only specifies the neurotoxin being in their fins, so I dunno what’s going on here. Speaking of biting, Plesioth have powerful jaws that can crush the armor of some monsters, such as Carapaceon, so you know that getting bit by it has got to suck. They also utilize their size for attacks such as tail swipes, hip checks, and charges. The most notable attack Plesioth have, however, is their ability to fire a stream of highly pressurized water that they previously swallowed while swimming. In real life, pressurized water is used industrially to cut and shape steel, so that tells you what kind of pain you’re in for if you get hit by that. Plus, if it’s anything like the stream fired by Mizutsune, it inflicts Waterblight, a status condition which temporarily decreases the speed at which your stamina recharges, and take it from an Insect Glaive main, that’s not fun. 8/10.

Equipment: So, several Plesioth weapons have Cephalos parts in them, and the weapons as a whole have a similar aesthetic, but they’re still distinct, at least in my opinion. Let’s start off with the Great Sword called the Finblade:

I like how the membrane has the gradient on it to show that it’s from the edge of the fin. I also like the handguard next to the handle; the curve makes it fit the water aesthetic. Next, we have a Lance called the Aqua Spear:

Hey, gotta have a trident in here somewhere, right? Having a membrane between the trident’s points and the shield’s spikes is a nice touch, and I like how the shield looks with that ring of green surrounding its core. But I gotta have a weird weapon somewhere in here, so here’s a Bow called the Dragonhead Harp:

Yes, this is a Plesioth weapon. No, there are no other monster materials used in it that could say otherwise. I honestly don’t know why it looks like this, but it has the Outset Island aesthetic from LoZ: Wind Waker. It even looks like it could be a cannon for your ship in Phantom Hourglass. There is one thing linking this with Plesioth, though: the “feathers” on the arrows in the quiver are made from Plesioth fins. It’s a small detail that really brings the weapon together. As for the armor, there’s unfortunately not any pictures of normal Plesioth armor on its equipment page, and I don’t wanna scrounge around the wiki, so here’s the Gunner version of the “G” armor from MHFG:

I mean, I get it; it’s a diver’s wetsuit with Plesioth fins. The problem I have with it is that there’s not much Plesioth there; the only things here that I can confirm to be from Plesioth are the fins that serve as details, not the main makeup. But there’s another armor set that...look, I had to show it, all right? It’s called the “Apukaru” armor, and while it’s made from both Plesioth and Hermitaur parts, I think there’s enough Plesioth there to warrant showing it here:

Is this armor for hunting monsters or going for a leisurely dive in the Bahamas? Okay, the diving suit the female set is based off of is most certainly not used for leisure, but you get my point, right? This is straight up diving gear made for war! The red parts match up with Hermitaur, but the fins and scales are all Plesioth, and they’ve done some really clever things with the former. First, both suits have the fin membranes as the membranes on their flippers, which is to be expected, but then you look at the female set and realize that the crown on top of the diving helmet is made of the fin membrane. That’s kinda gross, but also hilarious. Also, why is there a princess crown on top of the diving helmet!? It’s such an unnecessary detail, but it adds so much. This equipment gets a 9/10 for being both aesthetically pleasing and goofy as all get-out.

Final Thoughts and Tally: I knew I was gonna like this monster as long as they did it right, and they did it so well that it’s probably my favorite monster in the series (not that I know of many, but semantics). The little details in its design, the fact that it’s dangerous on land and king in the water, the battle prowess, the equipment, and the fact that it’s a freaking shark dragon all make Plesioth the biggest fish in the pond. I’d say that it’s probably gonna go downhill from here, but oh, don’t worry. We’ve got some special guests coming soon. 8/10.

[phoenotopia]

2020 July Update

Things have gone slowly... again.

The good news is that the game is now submitted to the console "authority" and it's entirely off my hands. Once it gets through the console "checking" process, it can get a release date and we can sprint towards release. Until then, it'd be at least a month's wait or more until I hear anything. Understandably, their checking process is impacted by Corona, so wait times are increased.

On my end, I was also slow to submit the game. I submitted it late late June, since I ended up spending 7 weeks fixing bugs (and not 2-3 weeks like I estimated in the last blog post). There were just SO many bugs - now squished, thankfully. Since this is a blog post, I'll talk about what kind of bugs I've been fixing.

The other thing that slowed down the submission process was simply due to unfamiliarity with how these submissions proceed. There were pages and pages of stuff to read, guidelines to follow, and legalese to wade through. It really made me wish I had a publisher to guide me through the process. But I was able to clear it with a couple days work. I had an impression that the submission process went like A->B->C->D, with no room for concurrency. Turns out I could have done steps B & C at the same time and sped things up by 2 weeks... So that's that. I'm taking that as a lesson for next time.

The Console Revealed

What is this console that I talk about so stealthily? So that this blog update isn't completely unexciting, I'll reveal which console I've been working on until now. Drumroll please!

It's Switch!

We actually got the Switch dev kit in late 2017. From my understanding, around this time in the USA, the Switch kit was quite hard to get for indies as it was just starting out and high in demand. So I was surprised that my application got approved. I didn't know it then, but the game would still need a few more years of development...

Tweaking performance and fixing bugs

Here you can see my "expert" playtest setup. Since the Switch is more powerful while docked, I needed to playtest it in handheld mode, so I could catch and profile any problem areas where the framerate was unsteady. The most common thing that caused framerate drops were areas that went overboard with lighting. For these areas, I'd tweak or swap out the lights with alternatives that looked similar while also being less computationally intensive. Maintaining 60 FPS is a must!

An old camera (Nikon D3100) trained at the screen recorded my playthrough and would let me rewind to any moment a bug occurred. It could only record in 10 minute chunks, so I'd have to repeatedly repress the record button. On the plus side, because it's so old the movie file sizes were small and convenient.

The number one bug that I tracked and fixed in the past two months was what I dub the "Gear Ring De-equip" bug. The Gear Ring functions as customizable shortcut keys for the player to map items and tools (see an old video demonstration HERE). Through regular use of the inventory, somehow the equipped items on the Gear Ring would be de-equipped. It was an elusive bug since the de-equip event would happen very quietly and you would only suspect something had gone wrong much later. By then, the trail had gone cold and you weren't sure if a de-equip had actually occurred or if the player had simply de-equipped the item themselves. Two other playtesters noted that something left the Gear Ring in their playthrough, but I dismissed them. "Are you sure you didn't just de-equip it yourself?" It was a bug that bred mistrust and discord. I didn't truly believe it until it happened to me...

Luckily, with the camera setup, I was finally able to track it. In the literal 67th video, I caught a live instance of the bug occurring. After which, it was all too easy to recreate the exact same inventory and gear ring setup and replicate it.

(With this exact item layout, combine the 2nd item with the 14th item... and viola! Gear Ring de-equip!)

After fixing this bug, I then proceeded to fix it 5 more times. Every time I fixed it, it would later reappear through a different mechanism. 

Why do bugs like this happen? Underneath, there are two lists of items. Tools on the right and items on the left. Items can occur multiple times because they're consumable. Both lists start counting their indexes with the value 0. However, both items and tools co-exist on the gear ring. So to uniquely identify an entry you need both the item ID and the data index. Failure to check both data types resulted in bugs like the Gear Ring de-equip. Now throw in a bunch of item operations that can confuse the system. You can split items, combine items, swap items, or discard items. The more freedom you allow, the more ways there are for the system to trip up.

If you didn't get all that, that's alright. It was needlessly complicated. Imagine doing more and better and with less code and less bugs! Such a thing is possible if you start with the right design. I'm definitely taking notes here on how to design inventory systems for next time. In the meanwhile, I'm very confident I've squished all inventory related bugs.

Other bugs squashed and features implemented in the past 2 months include the end game arts not unlocking properly, collection percentages climbing beyond 100, stray doors floating in the sky, low HP sfx blaring when loading different files, balance tweaks on bosses, a max HP display when the menu is open - too many to count really! It was only after I fixed them all that I was confident enough to move forward with submitting the game. I apologize for the delay this will cause!

PC version back in progress

You may recall in the March 2020 update I talk about how in pursuing the Switch version, I unwittingly ruined the PC version. Well, since the game is "done" now and I'm waiting for it to go through the checking process, I've started working to reclaim the PC version.

And there is some good news to report. The PC version can compile again! Of course, it will need to have some work done, since it was late 2017 when I last had a functioning PC build. 

The opening menu is broken, the underlying save file system needs to be updated, and the controls... oh Lord, the controls. Controls were probably the #1 factor in pushing me to pursue a console version first. There are just so many controller options. Even just the usual suspects are numerous: Xbox, Nintendo, Sony, Logitech, Hori, 8Bitdo, Steam...

One of the number one complaints received regarding the flash game (which was keyboard primarily) was that I didn't allow controller rebinding to start. It was then that I learned of the vast array of different keyboard types.

(Ever heard of an Azerty keyboard?)

I shan't make the same mistake twice! One of the things I'll definitely tackle is the Right/Left face button feud when it comes to which should one should be 'confirm' and which one is 'cancel'. I want to allow the player to choose which is their "YES" and "NO" preference and allow that to overlap other actions like Attack or Jump.

Even after control bindings are taken care of, some things just won't translate well. The right control stick is currently used to access the gear ring and for fishing. Keyboards have no right stick. Aiming the crossbow with a full 360 degrees of range is done with the left control stick - if keyboard only, would the crossbow simply be locked to the 8 cardinal directions? What about those tutorial prompts with button graphics (e.g. "Press 'B' to Jump"). If using the playstation controller, it'd need to be the CROSS symbol. How many button graphics are we gonna load into the text module? What if the player, mid-playthrough, decides to swap out controllers? Indeed, there are many issues to tackle where controls are concerned...

Perhaps I'm overthinking it because even some AAA games get this wrong (Dark Souls has 'B' as 'Yes' on Switch, and it's not remappable, which I find quite annoying). I've seen games on consoles where the controls wouldn't mention the console's controller at all but instead mention a mouse and keyboard. Or, if you remapped the controls, the tutorial prompts still showed the old control bindings, making for a confusing experience. I definitely want to do the controls justice, so this will take some time.

Phoenotopia DISCORD Channels

Ryan and Firana have been running a Phoenotopia discord since late 2017, which I promoted on this blog once. It's been a couple years and it turns out that the old discord link I promoted expired. It's long overdue, but their channel could use another shoutout. Here's their channel : https://discord.gg/cnjrYST

Also, Khalid recently reached out to me about creating a Phoenotopia discord as well. I see no reason why we can't have 2 or more discords, so he has created that one with my blessing as well. You can find his discord here : https://discord.gg/cfnsCwy

I personally don't use Discords, since I'm very busy and there's too much new tech to keep up with. I hear there's a Tik Tok now? Should I create a Tik Tok for Phoenotopia? Hmmm...

Anyway, if you'd like to chat with other people who are similarly enthused for Phoenotopia, do check them out!

Fan Arts

We have five new fanart submissions this time around from regulars and new alike.

Cody G. returns with this pair of sketches of Gail. One seeks to answer the question, "how is Gail so strong?" Cody's answer is that under her sleeves she's actually really buff! This might be the most ripped rendition of Gail yet. Also, in the right drawing, the letter 'E' kinda melds with her bat, making it look like a keyblade!

What if Gale was a Shrek character? A new artist, Samu Kajin, from tumblr answers that question with a rendition of Gail sporting ogre style antennae. Samu Kajin says she can be called "Gaek" or "Shrale". I like the poncho!

Shafiyahh returns with a pretty portrait of Gail. Unlike their previous digital pieces, this one was made with color pencils! I like how her hair blends pink and purple colors together, and this pattern is also present in the eyes. Reminds me of a certain character. And the eyes are so sparkly despite using color pencils! Major props!

Negativus Core also returns with this relevant image of Gail, masked and running, presumably from Corona. It gave me quite a chuckle! I like the angle and tilt of this run pose because you can see the sole of her foot - that's how you know she's at full sprint! A skillful blur localized to her left foot show's just the right amount of motion. Gotta love the robot's expression too!

A rare 3D art has emerged. Dany Q crafted this adorable figure of Gail that is as cute as a button! I like how well it translates the pixel character over to 3D, capturing the 3 stitches on her shirt and even catching her stray strand of hair. It kinda reminds me of a Wallace and Gromit character, so I can picture it moving and animating in that unique claymation style.

Next Time

I'm ~80% confident we can clear the Switch console checking process and drop the trailer with a release date before the next blog post. But once again, if things go slowly, you'll hear from us in 2 months...

[ilguna]

Ethereal - Chapter Two (f.o)

Summary: Five years of watching your trainees die, you’re sick of it. She will prevail, she will win.

Word Count; 5.2k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

You wave goodbye to the district at the station of the train. Or mainly, it’s just Annie and Paslee. Reed, Mox and Alyssum don’t show up to say goodbye or greet you anymore. They know that they’ll see you in a month, and they’ll be the first people you go to. At the house they’ll like have a small feast prepared, and Caspian’s family will be over.

Every year you hope for a winning tribute, not because you’d like the spotlight, but because you’d want their family to celebrate too. You’d like to have an actual reason to eat good, rather than doing it because you came home. To them it seems like every time you go to the Capitol you have the chance of never coming back. They have a reason to believe that after all, and the dinner is supposed to accommodate the fact that you’re home. Back where you’re supposed to be.

You’re in the train before the tributes are. In fact, you’re there almost an hour before they arrive. It’s because you and Finnick get a couple of minutes to say goodbye to your families–family–and then you take a car down to the train way before the tributes do. That way there’s no chance of you guys being late.

Not like they have to worry about that, you’re always punctual with things. You’ll leave for the stage at around nine to ten, since reaping always manages to start at eleven instead of the designated time before or after that. Along the way you pick up Mags too, so that cuts off a good amount of time. You manage to make it there with enough time to talk to Elysia, and then the ceremony will start.

After, you spend ten to fifteen minutes talking to your siblings, and then you’ll take off. They’ve begun to see your pattern with things, and you’re sure that they appreciate the fact that you can be reliable with your times. In all honesty, you were a little worried that Finnick would mess this up, but he seems to have followed you exactly.

When the train starts moving, is when you go out to see the tributes. Annie and Paslee standing in the middle of the first train car, confused as ever. Not jumping the gun on alliances, you might just have to mentor them separately. They don’t even look like they know each other, and they’re around the same age.

Looking to Finnick, it’s easy to see that he’s not sure how to approach this. Had he been with you the entire time, he’d know how to start and how to finish.

“Annie, Paslee.” they turn to look at you, “Finnick and I will be your mentors for the games. Do you want to be mentored together or apart?”

Annie seems to be quick on her feet, “Is it possible to do both?”

You nod, “But I’d only suggest that if you have skills that he doesn’t, and it would change your chances in the games. Otherwise, it might be possible to make you guys work together.”

“Then together.” she says.

You turn to look at Finnick, “Go into my room and bring out the box by the door. We’re going to start immediately.”

He nods, and you wait for him to disappear before you turn to your tributes. They’re capable, they’ll be able to win these games. You’ll be able to give them better advice than Finnick will ever be able to. He may watch the games, but he doesn’t know how they turn anymore. How hard it is to get sponsors, and keep the tributes alive.

“Finnick hasn’t mentored at all since we won.” you tell them, they nod, they know, “If you have questions, come to me first.”

You bring them to a clear space on the floor, getting them to sit down. When Finnick comes in, you bring out the rope, starting easy. You teach them knots that they’ve never heard of, making them practice over and over to make sure that they’ve got it. You even teach them the constrictors knot just in case they’ll need it.

They’re both sixteen, right? They’ve seen your games, they had only been eleven but they might have remembered a sick, dangling girl who just strangled a boy to death with a rope. You and Finnick were a pair to match, the Capitol still references you each year in the most memorable final kills. Not something you’re proud of, you’d give anything to get rid of that glorification.

You have little fire starting prototypes. They start tiny fires on the floor and stomp them out before they get too big. All while the peacekeepers get to watch as you destroy the carpet on the train. You don’t care, they can afford the labor and the replacement. It’s none of your business, you’re a victor, you’re doing your job.

You teach them to throw knives, leaving holes in the walls. You show them different ways to get out of people’s grasps if they get a hand on them. Headlocks, pinned down, a grab from behind. You show all of this to them, with Finnick doing the opponents part.

They got to watch as you repeatedly flipped Finnick on his back. As you punched, elbows and kicked him at almost every chance you got. Showing them different versions of just one thing. Because one escape doesn’t fit all scenarios. If there’s more than one person, then that means they need a different way to do it. You teach them how to properly run if there are knives getting thrown at them.

You only stop when Elysia comes in, telling you four that supper is served at the table. They follow behind you and Finnick, because the both of you know where you’re going, which is through several different carts until you reach the right one. There, is where you sit where Mags had sat during your games, and instead of Finnick sitting to your right, he’s across the table instead.

It’s a difference for him, you can see it in the way his face scrunches up. Annie sits to your right and Paslee right next to her. You warn them to eat slowly because the rich food will make them sick, but go ahead and take in as much as possible. Put on the extra pounds, so they look bigger in the arena. Plus, they’ll be shedding what you call ‘fake’ weight, since it wasn’t their actual weight before. They’ll shed it, reach their normal weight in a few days time, and then they’ll go under.

It buys them time when it comes to starving, and becoming weak. You figured out that not many mentors tell them about this trick, so it’s really perfect for you to give it to them. For district one and two–since they’re well fed for their entire lives–if you were their mentors, you’d try starving them a little bit to build up the tolerance, rather than pack on the pounds. They don’t know what it’s like to go hungry, if they’d get a taste of it, then they’d know what would be coming in the arena.

You don’t give this advice to Cashmere, Gloss or Enobaria. Their tributes win even without having to starve. Secure the cornucopia, and just feed off of that for a while. No one ever has the technology to destroy the entire thing, as if it’s even possible. The metal cornucopia is impossible to destroy, and no one in their sane mind would get rid of the food. They’d take armfuls of it back to their own camps for safekeeping.

You and Finnick are the first to finish. He knows that he can eat quickly and not get sick, because he’s been staying in the Capitol. He gets served the stew, oranges, rolls, hot chocolate, and everything else daily. Hell, Finnick might even be bored of it, because the flavor starts blending in after a while.

As for you, you’re kinda used to it. It seems like you body knows when and when not to have a tolerance for this food. And since it’s games season, it understands that this is the best it’s going to get. You still prefer the food back home, you have a better taste for it. Capitol food might have presentation and some sort of flavor. But District Four food tastes like home, it fills you up, and leaves you happy.

Since you don’t really want to baby Annie and Paslee and leave them immobile, you tell Elysia to make them watch the recaps of the reapings. Then, you tell them to pick allies if that’s what they’re going to do. You don’t care, they’ll have to decide that on their own. You’ll see them bright and early tomorrow morning.

Finnick follows you down to your guy’s rooms. His on the left, yours on the right. He goes to leave for his room, but again, you catch his arm and turn him to you.

“If you run off even once during these games, no matter what the fuck it’s for, I’m going to lose my fucking mind,” you tell him, “You’re here now. You showed up this morning, which means you’re sticking around the entire time. Those kids are going to depend on us to make sure they live.”

“I know–”

“Pull strings,” you tell him, “Talk to the people you’ve been with and use them as sponsors for them. Convince them that this is the bunch, because I’ve used all the people I know to get them to sponsor for the last four years. Either you’re going to be talking to people, or they’ll have to bring in the last of the people on their owns with the chariots, private session and interviews. Those aren’t reliable.”

His face twists, “And how am I supposed to do that if I’m not allowed to leave?”

He’s trying to embarrass you, what a fucking asshole, “When we get in tomorrow, you’ll have almost an entire day to run around by yourself. They’ll be getting groomed then, find your people, ask them to sponsor, and then come back.”

“Anything else?” he asks, he seems bitter that you’re telling him to do things as if he won’t know to do it anyway. But since you’re telling him, there’s a less likely chance that he’ll take off. He knows that you don’t believe that he’ll come back with what he was supposed to do, which will make him want to prove you wrong.

You’re tricking him, and it’s going to work. He’s going to come back to you with a whole list of people that will want to sponsor either of them. You’ll act shocked and surprised, but you know that Finnick has it in him. You’ve always known, and if he had been here the earlier years, then he would have been able to help the others win, you’re sure.

There is one more thing though, something that’ll maybe draw him back in. Make him stay with you after this. If Annie or Paslee win, then that’ll secure it, and he’ll definitely stay in district four, and stop going everywhere. You’ll be able to introduce him to your friends, and he can feel somewhat normal. He’ll adjust but he’ll be back. And you want him back because you don’t want to be suffering the losses alone.

“I miss you, Finnick.” Not a complete lie. Five years later and you still have something for him. Most of it is gone, but all it’ll take is one significant event and the entire thing will be dug up again. If he plays his cards right, if everything go right with these games, then it’ll be a bond again.

You’re so aware of this all, and it’s tiring. You know Finnick still loves you. You know that you still have something for him. And you also know that you’re going to manipulate Finnick to make sure that he stays. If things get restarted, fine. But he has to stay, no matter what.

“You do?” he asks, his voice is soft, and he reaches out for your cheek. You cup your hand around his.

You hate the butterfly feeling in your stomach. Like teens again.

“Consider staying.” you tell him, “After the games, come home.”

“I have no home there.” he goes to pull away, but you hold him in place, shaking your head.

“I’m home. My family is your family. My friends are your friends. I can make you see that. But you have to come back to district four.”

This is dirty. Manipulation. You’ve never been too fond of it. Even if it’s for the greater good. This is fucking with his feelings, you’re leading him on a while goose chase. He’ll never get what he wants in the end, unless Finnick gets lucky.

“I’ll think about it.” he tells you, and you nod.

You let his hand slip, and he hesitates before going to his room. You follow through on your own. Inside it’s a blur, because you’ve got to go watch the recaps by yourself. You can’t do it with the others there, because your comments could so easily alter their opinions of themselves and their chances of winning.

The shower is quick enough to make sure that the others are done watching, but long enough to make sure you’ve scrubbed your body and washed your hair. When you’re out, you dry your hair briefly with the towel, and then continue to a pair of shorts and a shirt. You pull some of the hair out of your face into a small ponytail, and then you disappear from your room.

The cart is completely empty when you get to it. You easily turn on the recaps–the Capitol has a channel specifically for watching it over–and lean back against the couch.

This year is going to be different, you can feel it.

–

The simple feeling of pressure on your arm is enough for you to jolt awake, hand reaching for the stick you keep by the bed. When your eyes open finally, you can see that it’s just Finnick standing over you. He lets go of you immediately, holding up his hands as he backs away.

You drop the stick, “Are you fucking crazy?”

Your voice is hoarse, you wonder if you had screamed all last night. Or silently cried, your brothers refuse to tell you when you wake them up at night. They’re tired of the apologies, all they do is say that you weren’t that loud. But that isn’t enough consolidation, it just means that you were loud enough to wake them up.

“Sorry–I knocked and you didn’t wake up.” he tells you.

You were deep sleeping?

“Did I do anything last night?” You ask, pushing yourself up on the bed. Your muscles feel sore, but it’s probably from flipping Finnick around last night. Normally you dig up a dummy from one of the closets for demonstration. But since Finnick is here, it’s better to use an actual person.

“No screaming or crying,” he answers your question, “Elysia wants to start with breakfast. We’ll be at the Capitol in an hour or two.”

“Tell her to go ahead. Make small talk with Annie and Paslee, see what kind of personality they have.” you wander over to the dresser, pulling out jeans and a navy blue tank top.

“Got it.” he tells you, but doesn’t move from where he’s standing. Once you’ve gathered a bra and a pair of underwear to match you look up to Finnick.

“Is there something else?” you ask.

He shifts on his feet, a sign of a nervous habit. You do it from time to time, along with Cashmere and Gloss. Enobaria isn’t like that though, she’s more steady than the rest of you. It seems like the people that were proud to have won the games don’t have those ticks. It works out, you guess, for them. You still can’t see how they can be like that.

“Did you mean what you said last night?” he asks after a couple of seconds.

Of course. It’s a too good to be true sort of thing to him. Finnick had left you behind, which ruined whatever was between you two. He’s in love with you, and he would probably like to fix the mistakes that he had made. Start over, not from the start, because the history between you two isn’t something that you can wipe clean. But try to forget what he had done, ditching you for the Capitol.

Which raises another theory on why he hasn’t come back all these years. It wasn’t because the Capitol was holding him, or because he didn’t have family in district four, or because he didn’t want to mentor the kids. What if it’s because he was afraid of what he’d come back to with you. Afraid to see how much damage he had truly done.

And with last night, you almost forgiving him immediately must have woken up something, opened a door. Now all he has to do is walk through it. Commit, and he’ll be back.

Not everything last night was a complete lie. You miss the best friend you had during the games. You want Finnick back, you want Mags to not be sad when she brings him up and you brush him off. When you show so much disinterest in him, when before it was all you’d think about.

Jokes on her, you never stopped thinking about Finnick. No matter how hard it got during the games, and after. You never stopped. It’s hard to, with a duo like you two were. Not something you can just throw away.

“I meant it.” you tell Finnick, “Every last word. I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be out in thirty minutes.”

He nods, leaving the room. When the doors shut, you suppress the scream you want to let free. Inside the bathroom, you throw the clothes on the counter, turn the water up as hot as you’ll be able to tolerate, and then you get inside. From where you sit on the tile floor, you can see your mother’s ring.

A reminder. That the games aren’t truly over. That things will always get exciting. That you’ll never be able to escape, no matter how hard you try.

That promises are made to be broken.

The shower isn’t thirty minutes long. It goes ten, then twenty, then thirty, then fourty. You watch your skin to make sure that it doesn’t prune. You don’t want to leave from your spot on the floor. The second that you leave this train, you’re a whole new person, with a different purpose.

You’re no longer just (Y/n) Gallows, the girl who took her last name and made it ironic. You’re a mentor. Your job is to make sure that these tributes are prepared to win in the arena. There will be no time for bullshit. No time to be wallowing in self-pity.

Normally you don’t have to remind yourself of this. But with Finnick around, it’s pulling out things that you thought you had packed tightly. Being around Finnick is going to bring up memories that were gone.

You get out of the shower, dry off quickly and pull your hair back like you had last night. All the clothes come on with barely no struggle. You slip on the ring, and leave the bathroom.

Finnick sits on the edge of your bed, pad of paper in hand. He doesn’t look up when you come out, he just continues with whatever he’s doing. It doesn’t look like he’s drawing, but writing things down.

You pull on your black socks, and follow with the boots. You throw your foot onto the bed and lean over to tie your right shoe, double knotting it. Finnick doesn’t mind you reading over his shoulder, but you can’t read his handwriting anyway. You move on to the left shoe.

Then, you go back to the bathroom, digging through the drawers. A necklace, a couple bracelets, a pair of earrings that don’t dangle. Highlight to make you look a little nicer, and some mascara but not too much. You just want to look presentable when you show up in front of the cameras with the tributes.

“Have you showered?”

“Have you used up the hot water?” he retaliates, “I never thought that I’d have to worry about that before. But then again,” he looks up from the paper, “I don’t typically know people who spend an hour in the shower.”

“Have you showered?” you repeat.

“Yes.”

“You don’t look like it.” you tilt your head, motioning to his clothes. It’s the same ones he wore last night, “Go take a shower.”

“We need to talk about Annie and Paslee.” he tells you, holding out the paper.

You take it from him, “Shower.”

“Why do you care so much?” he asks, but he’s moving towards the door.

“First of all, darling of the Capitol–”

“Darlings.” he corrects, “You’re very loved in the Capitol still.”

“Flattering, I don’t care.” but it is interesting, you wonder why, “You don’t want to look like that alcoholic from district twelve.”

“Haymitch!” he laughs, and you crack a smile, “I met him once or twice, he knows how to hold down a drink.”

“It’s because he’s been drinking for twenty years now.” you push him into his room. And this is when you take a moment to look over it. Suddenly, you’re unimpressed with how they set up the room.

Of course Finnick would get the big comfy bed, and the nice chair off to the side. And the hammock made out of rope. He would get the big window, and the nice bedside tables and chairs.

Finnick digs through his white dresser, and you can’t help but to feel annoyed and angry. Favoritism, all of this is bullshit.

“Stop looking at me like that.” he tells you.

“Then how am I supposed to look at you, when you have a room like this?” you ask, motioning, “Compared to what we get.”

Finnick laughs, it fuels you, “Sweetheart, have you even seen your room? If you were to go on to the trains for like district ten or something–their victors don’t get half the things we do. Because they’re irrelevant.”

“Don’t be a dick.” you punch his arm.

“It’s true.” he laughs, going into the bathroom, “Have you even noticed?”

“What is there to notice? I get a bed–”

“No, you get the special things too. As I get a hammock, a nice table and all of that, you get the throwing knives, knots, fire making stuff, dummies to practice on.” he turns to look at you, “Don’t you see? They love you as much as they love me.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Well, it’s true.” he says, the shower turns on, he shuts the door enough to leave a small crack, “Feel free to join me!”

You roll your eyes, going over to the hammock, testing it out first. It doesn’t creak, so it’s sturdy. You slide onto it, steadying yourself with one foot out of it. Then, you hold up the pad of paper, trying to read his handwriting.

It’s not chicken scratch, it’s elegant. He’s spent so long in the Capitol that he’s begun to pick up on their habits. There are only a few people back home that you know can write like this. Mags, the governor, his secretary, and what used to be your mom. Caspian’s mom is kinda good at the cursive, but it’s nothing like the Capitol stuff.

“I can’t read your handwriting.” you yell to him.

“Go figure.” he says, you think it’s meant to be quiet, but it’s not, “Paslee is brave, I guess. He acts like he’s too good to be here, I’m not sure if it’s the shock or not. And Annie is quiet, but smart. She’s very nice.”

Alright, so Annie is going to go for the kind look. She looked the type anyway, soft, flowery. More girly than the past few you’ve had. She’s been very prompt and knows that your directions are the best. She’s better off being a follower in the arena, which isn’t a good sign.

And Paslee’s a boy, you’ve always had difficulty with them. They seem to think that they don’t have to listen to your instructions just because you’re a girl. Even though those types of things are blurred now, there are no boy and girl things, it’s just… a blend. The boys just seem to think that Finnick did all the work. Not true, you were the brains, Finnick just helped execute.

Then again, he could have just been being difficult because you told them about the mentoring thing. That’s fine, you’ll discuss it with them when they get the chance. All that matters is that Finnick had actually managed to get something out of them, it’s a platform to build off of.

You throw the pad of paper off to the side, looking over Finnick’s room. And this is when you realize that the united front isn’t something that you guys should toss away as easily, “What color is the shirt you picked out?”

“White?” he yells.

Nope, you’re picking navy blue, exactly what you have.

Getting off the hammock, you dig through his shirts again, the shower shuts off. The silky material catches your notice, and you pull it out, holding it up. It’s not silk, but it’s very soft. Elegant, it’ll represent whatever Finnick is now to the Capitol.

“Take this,” you hold the shirt at the crack of the door, he swings it open. For a moment, you think you have to cover your eyes–not too fond of seeing Finnick naked–but you see the towel around his waist.

“Why?”

“Symbolism.” he takes it, running his fingers over it, “If you have that wave ring, wear it. Also,” you cup his face for a moment, “Lay off the stew, it’s making your cheeks chubby.”

“Get the fuck off of me.” he pushes you away, but he’s laughing.

“I’ll see you in the main cart. Gotta instruct the kids.”

He snorts, “Not gonna critique my fashion taste anymore?”

“Do you want me to?” you turn to look at him.

“No, you should go talk to the kids,” he smiles, and you roll your eyes.

You leave him to get dressed, on the way to the main cart, you run your fingers through your hair, trying to untangle it somewhat. And you can’t help but to think about what Finnick said when it comes to the fancy things in your room. You always thought it was because they normally supply those things, but you guess not.

You wonder when they’ll realize they should give you a dart board.

Annie and Paslee are messing around with some knives when you get into the dining cart. They look up and straighten out when you enter the room. Almost dropping the knives as if they weren’t supposed to be touching them in the first place.

“You’re not in trouble. The carts are practically your playground.” you tell them, motioning for a bowl of stew. One of the avoxes drop it off, you thank them and take it into your hands as you wander around to the window.

You guys will be in the Capitol within the next ten minutes or so.

“I have a few more things to coach you on. But I mainly want to leave you to figure things out on your own.” you tell them, taking another bite, “Stand in front of me, side by side.”

They follow, and you look them over a little bit. Setting the bowl down you go to Paslee, pushing his chin up and telling him to stand taller. He can slouch, just not by much. You show him a series of poses, and you figure out that you liked his arms crossed the best.

Then with Annie, you let her tilt her head down, it’s a sign of submission, and she’s definitely not the type for the opposite. You have her lean on her hip more, hands in front of her, holding.

“Annie, you’ll be going for a more kind look.” you tell her, “Don’t let people walk over you, but don’t come out too strong. Use your manners at every chance, please, thank you, no thank you, all of that. Put people’s thoughts first.”

And then you move over to Paslee, “Don’t use the asshole act on Finnick or I. We’re not going to put up with it. You’re relying on us for sponsors, remember that. You’ll be chin up, brave, courage, cocky. Don’t let people walk all over you. Yours is best for alliances, four is a career, remember that.”

“And me?” she asks, and you look over.

“If he scores a spot with them, then he’ll have to suggest and give a few reasons why you should be in. How are you helpful Annie? What are some skills that they can’t live without if they get stranded without some things?” It’s the same tactic you used to get Thyme in. Not even your district mate, but she got in easily.

“Are you guys friends?” you continue, they nod slightly, “The stylists will like that. Try to dress you up the same. Accept it, don’t resist. Act like you love it so the Capitol people have something to like. You guys can stop being friends as soon as you’re inside of the arena. You’re here to draw in sponsors.”

You pick up your bowl of stew again, “Also, you’re going to be meeting your stylists. Laurel and Pleurisy, and the rest of their prep team. They’re going to poke and prod, rip the hair off of your body, pluck, trim, maybe even cut off some dead ends on your hair,” Annie doesn’t like the last part, “Don’t resist, an unhappy stylist is an unhappy sponsor. They know what they’re doing, they’ll try to be gentle but it’s hard.”

Finnick comes bounding out of the hallway, following is Elysia. Finnick smirks, and Elysia waves slightly, you look back to Annie and Pleurisy.

“Go to the window, wave.” Finnick tells them, “It’ll catch their eye. Pretend to be happy to see them. Point, blow kisses, whatever it takes.”

They nod, going over to follow Finnick’s directions. He holds out his hands for you to see his hands. On the right hand is his Capitol ring. On the left, is the wave ring, which has seen better days.

“They made me stop wearing it because it was turning off buyers.” he tells you, “I wore it when I could.”

The cheering catches your attention, you move to set your empty bowl of stew down, wiping your face with a napkin before getting half the cup of orange juice down. Finnick laughs at your hurry, Elysia holds up gum for you to take. Then, you go over to stand by Finnick.

That’s one answer to a question you’ve had.

You wonder if you’ll get the rest.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Petals for Armor || Ariana & Luce

TIMING: Prior to Bea’s ressurection PARTIES: @divineluce & @letsbenditlikebennett SUMMARY: Ariana goes by the shop when Luce happens to have a cancellation. A new tattoo is gifted and the girls get to talk.  CONTENT: Some sibling death mentions and general descriptions of tattooing (needles and blood)

“You can take the wrap off in the next two or three hours. No pools, hot tubs, or swimming for the next two weeks.” Luce said as she escorted her latest client out, handing them a little bag of Aquaphor and printed out aftercare instructions. They’d gotten a geometric calf piece that, any other time, would have made her really excited to work. But, her nerves were still raw from her experience with Felix and she felt frayed at the edges, like she might just unravel. Which is why she was throwing herself into the more menial aspects of her work-- she cleaned up her room with even more vigor than usual before returning to the lobby to look at her bookings for the day. As she looked at the screen, the bell over the door dinged as someone walked inside. Fuck. Her 4 o clock had rescheduled. Which meant she had nothing to do for the rest of the day. Her cabin was all repaired and she wasn’t… she didn’t want to go back to Bea’s house. Not yet. Not until she was back. Not until all three of them could walk through that door together. Realizing she’d been lost in thought, Luce forced a smile and looked up from the computer. “Welcome to Ink, Inc. Do you have an appointment or are you here for a walk-in?”

After a couple of weeks off from training under Shiloh at Trusty Wood, Ariana found it felt better to be back again. There was a lot less time to get stuck in her own head when she was busy soaking up all that Shiloh could possibly teach her. As heavy as things felt some days, she knew she had to keep pushing forward. It’s what Celeste would have wanted and she still wanted to be someone Celeste could be proud of. It was all she could do to keep part of her alive. Things were slowly getting easier, she still let herself feel her way through the waves. She still found she preferred to not go back to the trailer alone after work today and Ulf had said he wouldn’t be too much later. She could hang out at the shop a bit, look through some of his newer sketches and watch videos on Tik Tok while she waited. Her air pods had still been in her ears as she walked through the door, but she could still hear a familiar voice over the music, so she took a bud out. She smiled when she realized it was Luce though a wince followed shortly after. She wondered if Ulfric had mentioned what happened to Luce. The last thing she needed right now was questions about her hot sister. She quickly recovered and waved, “Hey, Luce. Not here for an appointment or anything. Ulf had said he’d be done for the day soon, so figured I’d hang around a bit so I don’t have to walk home.”

Looking up, Luce’s expression faltered for a moment as she saw Ariana waving at her. Fuck. Fuck. “Ariana. Hey,” She looked down at the computer and grimaced. Ulf was still in his appointment, but that meant that Ariana was going to be stuck waiting around for a little bit. The night Ulfric had told her what had happened to Celeste, Luce had been… floored. Her heart had broken for Ariana, for what she was going through-- she understood the pain of losing a sister, of the cruel reality of death. But, unlike Ariana… She could bring Bea back. She was actively working towards it. And while it would take sacrifice and magic Luce had never thought she would ever degrade herself to doing, here she was. Preparing to murder a man. Swallowing, Luce stepped out from behind the counter and leaned against the receptionist’s desk. She clenched her jaw for a moment before glancing at the clock. “You need a ride? My next appointment bailed on me, so I can give you a lift if you want.” She said with a shrug, tilting her head out to the 4x4 that was parked out back behind Ink Inc.

While a ride sounded better than waiting around the shop for Ulfric to finish with his appointment, Ariana perked up at the mention of her appointment bailing on her. With her first tattoo, she found she kind of liked the sensation of the needle and it’s constant buzzing. She liked the finished product even more. More often than not, she’d find herself admiring her own tattoo literally any time she wore shorts short enough to show it off. As fun as the 4x4 looked, a new tattoo sounded even more fun. “Thanks,” she said, a small smile present, “A ride would be cool, but taking your appointment’s place actually sounds even better. I’ve been kind of wanting another tattoo anyway.”  She looked to Luce hopefully. She totally understood if she preferred to go home as planned, but it was worth a shot. “If you’re ready to head out, that’s totally cool, too.”

At Ariana’s words, Luce nodded. A ride, a tattoo? Fuck, if the girl had asked for one of the art pieces off the wall, she would have given it to her. “Sure, no problem. You got any ideas that you’re thinking about? Or do you wanna take a look through some of the designs I already have? C’mon, we can chat in my room.” She said, walking back to her workspace and grabbing the binder full of stencils and designs that she carefully curated. While her designs lately hadn’t been the most inspired or the ones that she liked the most, she’d done well to make sure that she kept a wide selection for people to look through. And, for the most part, people seemed to like them. Geometric tattoos and floral patterns, blackwork and animals, neo-traditional, those designs were pretty well received amongst the others. “You can check this out to get an idea of my style and talk me through what you’re thinking.” She handed over the binder before settling down in front of her laptop.

Being genuinely excited for something after weeks of feeling like life was a haze was a welcomed feeling. Ariana eagerly followed Luce to her room in the shop and answered, “I was thinking of doing some wildflowers in black ink. Color ink is kind of lost on me because color blind and all. I’d love to look through some of your designs though!” There was a hint of sadness at the mention of wildflowers and she decided to not explain her choice. Maybe she should have told Luce about what happened so she didn’t think Celeste ghosted her or something, but as many times as she already had to say it, she didn’t find it getting any easier. It still felt like a kick to the gut every freaking time. She thumbed through the pages of the binder and found she enjoyed Luce’s style. A lot of the floral patterns seemed to fit perfectly for what she wanted, but one in particular reminded her of a hike with Celeste. The shapes of the flowers and how the flowed across the page reminded her of the ones that grew around Dog Mountain in Washington. She’d suggested the spot for hiking based on the name of the mountain alone, but she could still remember the beaming smile on Celeste’s face as they ventured into a clearing that was filled with flowers as if it was yesterday. It was hard to think that was nearly six years ago and they’d never share another hike like that again. She looked a bit more wistful as she looked back to Luce, holding the binder up and pointing, “I like these. They remind me of--,” she started, ready to say Celeste but quickly cut herself off and said, “One of my favorite hikes.”

“Well, you’ve got the right artist for that. I prefer to do black and white tattoos in general.” Luce nodded as she gestured to a couple of the charcoal art pieces on the wall, the stencils in the binder, and the larger designs she’d tacked up to her corkboard. While she waited for Ariana to make her selection, Luce set to work prepping her workstation. Even if nothing caught Ariana’s eye, there was nothing wrong with wiping down the chair, making sure the drawers of her tool chest were neatly organized. It was just good practice. When Ariana held up the binder, showing her the delicate wildflower patterns, Luce nodded with an approving grin. “Where are you thinking of putting it? So I can size up the pattern for you. And would you want to add anything else to it? I’ve got plenty of time, I can make a couple small tweaks if you’d like.” She said as she opened up the stencil on her computer. She heard the slight falter in the girl’s tone, the way she paused. A part of her suspected that… no-- she wasn’t going to pry. Not about the death of a sister. “Nice. Where’d you go hiking?” She asked conversationally.

“Why am I not surprised that the artists here are werewolf friendly,” Ariana joked before admiring the charcoal pieces on the wall. She enjoyed Luce’s style. Art that wasn’t filled with lots of color was a lot easier for her to process and make sense of. Plus, it was totally an aesthetic. She took a moment to think over where she’d like to put it. Since this one didn’t scream I’m a werewolf, she wanted it somewhere more visible. She scanned over her arms and answered, “My left forearm. I think that’d work nicely. I want to be able to just look down and see it whenever I want to. I’m always bummed when I wear pants because I can’t see my wolf tattoo.” She briefly considered adding something specific to Celeste on there, but ultimately decided against it. The design as it was was already perfect and a subtle nod to her sister. “I’d like to keep the design as it is, but thanks.” Luce was being really nice, noting she had plenty of time to customize it however she wanted. There was even something more gentle about her than normal that Ariana couldn’t quite place, but she figured Ulfric must have told her. That would explain it. It didn’t make her feel too inclined to talk about it just yet. Instead, she focused on the happy memory with a fond smile that slightly deflected from her sad and tired eyes. “Lots of places, but these flowers remind me of the ones Celeste and I saw on a hike through Dog Mountain in Washington. There was this one clearing that was just filled with them. I swear you’d think Celeste had just won the lotto or something with how happy she looked.” The dull ache that came with remembering Celeste was present. Still, it felt better to keep her memory alive than to simply let it fade away with her.

Letting out a wry laugh, Luce shrugged, “Werewolf friendly businesses are few and far between in this town, we gotta maintain our reputation as a safe space for all. Besides, a happy boss means a happy me.” She said as she pulled up the stencil. With a cursory glance over at Ariana’s arm where she directed her, Luce nodded, mentally sizing up the area. Shrinking it down a little, she printed out the design before holding it up to the girl’s arm. Needed to be a bit smaller “I get that. I like my leg tattoos a lot, but yeah, they don’t spend as much time in the spotlight as my others.” She said. Under her black shorts, fishnet tights made criss crossed patterns over the tattoos on her legs, obscuring them slightly from view. That’s what happened when you had an aesthetic and stuck to it. As Ariana mentioned Celeste by name, Luce kept her face neutral. She couldn’t help the twist in her stomach at the thought of the woman, someone she’d only briefly known but was Ariana’s whole world. “Yeah. You see a lot of these in the Pacific Northwest. Not that I’ve ever been there, but I like the flowers that grow there.” She said with a nod as she went back to her computer and adjusted the stencil so it was just the right size. “Alright. You ready for this?” She asked, gesturing for the girl to take a seat in her chair.

Ariana knew she one day wanted both her arms to be covered in tattoos though she hadn’t gotten as far as what all she wanted. She kind of figured she liked enough of Ulfric’s random sketches that she could just point something out she thought was cool and he could just tattoo it on her. It didn’t need some special meaning. It being the art of someone she cared about was enough meaning for her. Plus, doing things just for aesthetic reasons were fun. It was her body. She didn’t need to justify her tattoo choices to literally anyone. Hell, she had half a mind to get the stupid tattoos her and Nell were joking about getting. Those would be more fun to get together anyway. With a small laugh, she mused, “Listen, your arms and legs are both goals.” She took a seat in the chair as directed and swallowed back a bit of the giddy energy that was building up inside her. She tried to position her arm so it was easy for Luce to work with and said, “Oh, I’m so ready. I’ve been dying to get another tattoo since I got my first one.” She kept still as she spoke, not wanting to mess up the outline Luce was preparing for her. “I liked the Pacific Northwest a lot. There’s a lot of places to go where it’s just nature which is basically wolf paradise. Do you do a lot of hiking here? I really love all your floral designs.” Focusing on something that wasn’t the Celeste part of the memory was a little easier. Soon, there’d also be the nice dull buzz of the needle to distract from that, too.

At the girl’s words, Luce offered a crooked smile, glancing down at her arms as she pulled on a pair of gloves. “Thanks. I’ve worked on them for the past eight years. Ulf, he did your first one, right?” She said as she wiped down the area and applied the stencil, stepping back to take a look at it. Hm. “He did my first tattoo, this one.” She said, extending her arm to show Ariana the lightbulb and bouquet that decorated the inside of her right forearm. “Fast forward eight years and… well, I caught the bug. So I get that.” With a smile, she redid the stencil a few times until it was lined up, so that the flowers were angled just so. Measure twice, cut once-- it applied to tattoos in a manner of speaking. “Let’s get started.” She said and turned on her machine, the familiar buzzing comforting in her hand. At Ariana’s words, Luce spoke up, “Yeah, there are a lot of good hiking trails around here. Probably can’t compare to Oregon or Washington or anything like that, but they’re solid.” Working on the outlines first, she smiled, “Thanks. Flowers are kind of a family thing.” She said, though the smile faded slightly from her face as she did so. “I had a lot of references around the house when we were growing up.”

Ariana figured it would take her about as long to work up to a tattoo collection that mirrored Luce’s and Ulfric’s. At least she personally knew two awesome artists and was more than happy to support them in any way she could. “Eight years, I’m sure you’re not done yet either,” she scanned over Luce’s arms and smiled at the lightbulb bouquet Ulfric had done on her forearm, “Oh, I love that one. He did do my first one, too. Though it’s unfortunately covered by jeans right now. It’s a big wolf in a nature motif surrounded by the moon phases because clearly I was going for subtle.” She did her best to remain still as Luce applied the stencil, not wanting to mess the artist up by moving around. Already, she loved the design and the placement. It’d be nice to have something she can glance down at more readily and it’d be nice to have another small piece of Celeste to carry around with her. A small pang reminded her of the sadness that seemed to constantly linger these days, but she wanted to keep those memories alive. She wanted to remember and be someone Celeste would still be proud of. Her focus shifted back to Luce. “The hiking here is actually pretty good, at least in the Outskirts. Although I will say, way more dangerous than the pacific northwest, at least the parts I’ve been too. Never saw a hedgehound out there. Or murder mimes. I’m sure you can hold your own out there though,” she mused, still kind of in awe of the whole witch thing. The hum of the tattoo machine soothed her even as the needle hit her skin. It was a dull pain and it served as a good distraction. “Oh yeah, I remember your sisters had a lot of flowers in the house. I actually got Nell a nice little arrangement of succulents since you said she likes plants. She seemed to love it… or at least she hasn’t cancelled our matching face tattoo idea yet.”

“Definitely not.” Luce agreed as she dipped the needles back into the small tub of ink before continuing her steady linework. “There’s a lot more I want to do. But, I also want to save space. Don’t want to fill things up too soon just in case there’s something else I want.” She said. Listening to the girl speak, Luce focused on the tattoo, mentally planning out where she wanted to add the shading around the petals and the leaves. “That’s really cool that he did that for you. And a super solid design. Ulf does good work, he always has.” She nodded. “And yeah, it’s always a good idea to be prepared for any and everything when you’re out in the woods around here. But, what with your wolf situation, I’m sure you can handle yourself.” Luce said. At the mention of Bea’s house, a lump formed in the back of her throat, but she did her best to ignore it. “Mhm. Nell has a whole greenhouse all to herself, full of all kinds of plants. Doesn’t surprise me that she liked the succulents, I don’t know how many of those she has.” She replied before lifting an eyebrow, glancing at Ariana as she wiped some of the excess ink away, “Matching face tattoos, huh?”

“That sounds like a struggle,” Ariana mused with a small grin. Self control had never been her strong suit and her tendency to act on impulse would make it hard for her to save space for new ideas that came up in the future. “That makes sense though. Saving room for new fun things. I still have a lot of room, so I figure I can go a little crazy with it for a bit. Well, as crazy as my wallet will allow anyway.” She kept her breathing slow and steady, focusing on both Luce’s words and the feeling of the needle in her arm. Even the gentle buzzing of the tattoo gun going had a soothing sound to it. “Yeah, I love the piece and I got to meet Ulf… who’s been totally great. Bet he didn’t expect to end up taking care of a teen werewolf, but he’s a pretty good sport about it. At least, I think he likes having me around. He’s working on getting a cabin built for us,” she rambled a bit, which wasn’t normal for her, but she kind of realized that him taking care of her hinted that Celeste wasn’t around anymore. She felt the slight jump her heart made in her chest and nodded, “Oh yeah, it’s hard to sneak up on or fight a wolf.” The greenhouse thing sounded pretty cool. She hoped to get her own garden going once they were settled into the cabin. “That’s so cool. I’ll have to ask her to see it some time. We’re supposed to be sparring soon, which should be fun.” She laughed a bit at the matching tattoo part, “Yep, they’re going to say ‘My Wolves, My Witches, & My Bitches’, but they gotta be like Post Malone style you know. Alternatively, it’s ‘spicy witch shorty’ and ‘shrimpy salsa wolf’ even though Nell is probably the only person who could call me shrimpy and not get punched… Well, and Blanche.”

“Not gonna lie, some days it is. Particularly when I’m surrounded by great artists.” Luce admitted as she filled in the next area. When was the last time she’d just talked about what kind of art she was looking to put on her body? Not since she’d talked to Dot, when the woman had been sitting in this very chair. Months ago. Must have been. But… it was nice. To pretend as though nothing was wrong. As though it was all normal. “Oh yeah, you’re young. You’ve got a lotta time and space.” At the mention of money, Luce kept her mouth shut as she continued to tattoo. The second Ariana had said she wanted a tattoo, Luce knew that she wouldn’t let the girl pay. A gift, in a way, in remembrance for Celeste. It was only the more fitting that the tattoo directly related to the woman. Swallowing, she pulled away and took a look at the outlines that she’d drawn. It was all coming together, looking even better inked on the skin than it had on paper. “Yeah? Well, not that I think either of you will need an extra hand, but I have a cabin of my own. Didn’t build it, but I’ve done some repair work on it. Some interior remodeling too.” Her jaw clenched slightly at the memory of herself, hurling fireballs at the ruined countertops of her cabin after she’d heard the news of Bea. Not one of her finest moments. “If you need someone who’s decent with a power drill, you can always give me a call.” She said as she drew one of the long stems of the flowers. “Yeah, I’m sure she’d be happy to show it to you. And, have fun with the sparring. Give her a good punch for me.” Luce said with a wry grin that was only half joking. A part of her really wanted to beat Nell into the dirt for all the secrets that she’d been keeping from her. At the sound of their planned tattoos, she snorted. “Sounds like a fantastic idea, I approve as both an artist and older sister.”

“You’re valid. Do you ever go to like conventions or stuff like that,” Ariana asked, genuinely curious if that was even a thing and if she could attend one. Her eyes were still on her own arm, watching in awe as Luce finished up the outlines of the flowers there. Somehow, her arm already felt a little more complete and they weren’t even done yet. The directions the flowers flowed in seemed to follow along gracefully with the curves of her arm. They looked as if they were just always meant to be there, meant to keep a part of Celeste with her always, even on days where she felt even further away. She nodded, “You right, you right.” Talking about the cabin did make her happy though. She’d finally have a permanent home, even if it stung that it wasn’t with Celeste, she was glad to have Ulfric. It wasn’t the same, but it didn’t make his role in her life any less meaningful. “Dude, that’s so cool. I mean, I know that’s literally what I’m going into, but it’s always awesome to see other women who are good at wooding, too. I’m sure one of us will let you know if we need an extra hand. Either way, you’ll have to come by and check out the finished product,” she said as she grimaced slightly as Luce worked on the part of her arm closer to her elbow. It wasn’t unbearable my any means, just more sensitive that the other parts had been. “I’m sure she would, we get along pretty well. Comes with the being short and always ready to fight. Think I can do that for you. Nell did insist I called woodworking wooding around you just to see your reaction,” she explained, smiling fondly as she remembered just how ridiculous 90% of their conversations were. “Well, now we have to get it.”

“I’ve been to a couple of expos, yeah. A couple in Boston. One in Montreal a few years back, one all the way down in New York.” Luce nodded as she moved onto the shading. She wanted to keep it delicate, to match the fine lines of the flower petals that she’d made. So, light, careful strokes were key. “Nah. You’re actually gonna be learning big time woodworking, framing stuff. I’m just a DIY kinda gal when it comes to the smaller stuff. Very stereotypical of me.” She said with a wry grin. The jokes about lesbians and Lowes had some merit to them. But, that’s just what happened when you lived on your own in the middle of the woods. You figured out how to take care of yourself. You learned how to live without needing another person. When had that changed? She hadn’t even realized that she was a different person from the girl who’d first moved into the cabin until the day she’d heard the news. That was when she realized just how… fucking stupid she’d been. To cut her sisters out. Clearing her throat, she focused on Ariana’s words again, “Yeah, for sure. I’d be happy to check it out, if only to fuck with Ulf and tell him the joints aren’t lined up right or something.” She laughed and wiped away some ink once more. Nice. It was all coming together into a beautiful arm piece. “I figured she’d put you up to that. Or maybe Blanche. Either of them have a knack for being little shits sometimes.” But, the words lacked some of the fire she’d normally have. They were both working just as hard as she was in their joint endeavor to bring back. She couldn’t be too hard on them. They were just trying to have fun, to be kids, in this fucked up town.

“That’s so cool. Do they ever do any near here? I think I’d like to check one out,” Ariana replied, still super intrigued with the whole thing. Getting to see a bunch of artists and their work. The prospect of also leaving with a new tattoo was fun. She was still intently focused on this one and was entranced watching Luce work. Her hand was definitely gentle and steady as she worked, never holding the needle to her skin for too long to bear. The flowers were looking better than she could have even imagined. At the mention of stereotypes, she laughed a little bit. “I guess we’re both stereotypes in that regard. Does that one still apply if you’re bi? Oh well, I’m claiming it. You can 100% catch me in a Lowe’s… or Trusty Wood.” At the mention of messing with Ulf, there was a devious grin on her face. “Please do that, I love that. I’ll even go along with it.” She let out a soft sigh at the feeling of the cool paper towel wiping away the excess ink. This was only her second tattoo, but she’d quickly realized what a satisfying feeling it was. “Blanche and Nell? Little shits? They would never,” she retorted with a small smirk as she lightly shook her head, “We have to make up for what we lack in height with pure anger and chaotic energy. It’s the law.”

“Boston’s about the closest one to us. Five hour drive. It’s not terrible,” Luce said with a nod. “If one comes up, I’ll let you know. I’m sure you’d be able to have enough time off to come down for a weekend at the very least. Expos are cool places to see other artists, network, figure out what sorta stuff you like.” As Luce looked at the tattoo, she leaned in to finish up the last few areas of shading. Other than that, the tattoo was done. As she added a few speckles to one of the leaves, she realized that the time had passed by far quicker than she’d thought. Huh. Maybe it was just because she had someone to talk with, rather than being talked at. That must have been it. “”You know, I feel like it’s just a big queer woman mood. So you know, you can own Lowe’s.” She said with a slight laugh. Wiping down the tattoo, she leaned back. “What do you think of it? The offer from before stands. If you want me to add anything, now’s the time to say so.”

“That’s not too bad. I’ll hopefully have enough for a used truck by the end of the summer,” Ariana explained, “But totally let me know. I’d love to check one out.” She watched as Luce added the finishing touches to her tattoo and admired her new piece. There was no doubt in her mind that it would look perfect once it healed up. All in all, it was a win. She’d enjoyed getting to talk with Luce some and she had a dope new tattoo to show for it. She laughed along with the joke and added, “I love that for us. It works either way because we don’t need a man to do our home repairs for us.” For a moment, she thought over if she wanted to add anything to the tattoo when Luce asked and she couldn’t help but admire it just the way it was. “I think it’s perfect as is,” she said confidently. It was a subtle dedication to Celeste, one she wouldn’t have to explain over and over. It was just for her. She watched as Luce wipes away the last of the excess ink and wrapped her arm. She vaguely remembered the instructions Ulfric gave her last time and was sure he’d also be able to remind her at home if she forgot. “So aquaphor and antibacterial soap for the after care, right?”

“Nice. And yeah, for sure. They’re cool places.” Luce said with a grin and waited for Ariana to voice her approval. The way the girl’s eyes flicked over the tattoo, taking in the design-- these were moments that she lived for. When clients got to see the art she’d created, this new part of who they were. It was gratifying. Especially when it was a design she liked. “Awesome.” She said, tossing away the used bits of machinery and gloves into their designated disposal bins. Stretching, she walked Ariana back out to the main office, grabbing one of the bags with Aquaphor and instructions for her. “Yep, you know the drill. And besides, you can always ask Ulf, he knows best.” Leaning against the check in counter, she nodded, “You’re all set to go. I’m glad that you liked that one. It turned out really well, if I do say so myself.”

“Oh yeah, living with a tattoo artist definitely has its perks,” Ariana replied with a small laugh. If she did by chance forget something on tattoo care, she probably didn’t even have to leave the room she was in to ask him. Small place paired with werewolf hearing did have some advantages. The fact she relied on voice to text and audio texts software for half her messaging endeavors was not one of them. She’d slung her bag back over her shoulder and gave Luce a puzzled look. “It does look damn good, but how much do I owe you?”

“You’re all set.” Luce repeated, folding her arms across her chest as she looked at the young woman before her. “The tattoo’s on the house. For your sister.” She said with a nod, her jaw tightening slightly. Ariana would never know it, but she was very aware of what kind of grief the girl was going through. The unique pain of losing a sister. And if getting a tattoo would help, if it could ease the pain just a little, she was more than happy to foot the bill.

It took Ariana a moment to process what Luce had just said. She had a feeling Ulf may have told Luce, but she still hadn’t been expecting the tattoo to be on the house. She nodded slowly, trying to push back the feelings that the mention of Celeste brought up. “Thank you,” she said, barely above a whisper, “Really-- it was… well, it’s to remember her by.” Not wanting to get too emotional in the middle of the tattoo shop, she gave a wave and a small smile before she made her way out the door. The tattoo was still wrapped, but she knew it’d being her a sense of peace in the months and years to come. She’d definitely remember the kind gesture from a friend as well, somehow giving the piece even more meaning to her.

[markswoman]

left my heart (in your tip jar) | kdy

“gag. looks like he left a tip specifically for you. how unfair, he just puts it in the tip jar whenever i help him. you don’t even have half the charm I have—at least i can make conversation!” 

you hit jeno weakly on the kneecap from your position on the floor. “shut up I’m distraught.”

pairing | college student!doyoung x barista!reader | fluff | 3.7k |

an: a birthday present for athene that somehow made its way on here ;( title cred to @taexinjie​

“Jeno! Jeno, he’s back!” You sweep into the back room of the little cafe where you’re both working and lean dramatically on the counter, a look of desperation on your face. “I can’t go back out there.”

“What are you talking about? Who’s back?” Jeno asks, not even bothering to look up from the magazine he’s been flipping through.

You sighs. “That one customer. The customer. You know the one with the glasses who’s always so serious and nerdy looking, but in a cute way that screams ‘I’ll file your taxes but I’ll also lay in the grass and stargaze with you’.” A dreamy look has replaced the desperation and Jeno chuckles at the quick change in your demeanor.

“Oh, you mean Doyoung? Not exactly the vibe I get from him, but whatever you’re into.”

“You know his name? How do you know his name?” You ask. “Do you know him? Why didn’t you tell me that you know him? Oh my god I can’t believe-“

“I only know his name because I’ve been making his coffee for a week since you’re too chicken to do it yourself.” Jeno cuts in before you can give yourself an aneurysm. “Maybe you could get to know him too if you ever actually talked to him.”

Jeno has a point. You know you’re being a coward by hiding in the back every time the cute customer comes in, but the first time Doyoung came into the cafe, you made a complete fool of yourself. When you were confronted with a pair of very pretty eyes, you had stuttered your way through the order; you even managed to spill some of the coffee on yourself, forcing Jeno to come to the rescue. After that you ran for the hills whenever Doyoung stepped foot inside the shop.

“Speaking of the shop,” Jeno says with a look towards the door, “who’s managing the register?”

“Um…” You shift slightly on your feet, “I was kind of hoping you would?”

Jeno rolls his eyes and then pushes you towards the door, ignoring your weak protests. “It’s time to man up and go get yourself a man. Plus, we have a business to run. Taeil isn’t going to be happy you’re leaving his shop unattended.”

“Then why do you get to slack off?” You pout.

“Because I was doing it first.” He says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and with that Jeno gives you a final shove out the door.

You stumble behind the counter trying to catch yourself before Doyoung notices. No such luck; Doyoung, who is waiting patiently at the counter ready to order, chuckles at you. He’s dressed casually in a black jacket and jeans and you briefly wonder if he works around here or if he’s a student like yourself.

Pausing to throw a glare back at Jeno, who grins and gives you a thumbs up through the small window on the top of the door, you make your way over to the register.

“You want an Americano with cream, right?” You say without any preamble.

Doyoung looks momentarily taken aback but he smiles nonetheless.“Yeah, how’d you know?”

Shit. “Uhhh, J-Jeno told me.” You jab a finger towards the back room for emphasis. “My coworker.” You were definitely lying. Jeno had told you no such thing. You knew the order because you had been watching Doyoung order it all week. You may have been hiding, but you were still watching. Which is totally not as creepy as it sounds. You just preferred to observe the handsome customer from afar because there were less chances of you embarrassing yourself.

“Oh, is Jeno here?” Doyoung asks innocently, craning his neck to where you were pointing. You feel a momentary pang of jealousy flare up even though it’s your own fault that Doyoung knows Jeno instead of you.

“He’s actually really busy at the moment, so I’m here instead!” You say a little too quickly and you want to kick yourself for how eager you sound. You clear your throat, “And your name is?”

“Doyoung. I think I actually met you be—”

“One Americano coming right up!” You practically shout over Doyoung. You don’t want Doyoung bringing up your embarrassing first encounter so you immediately spin around and busy yourself with preparing the coffee. You make it as quickly as possible and when you’re done you place it on the counter in front of Doyoung, mumbling about needing to help Jeno with something before disappearing to the back yet again.

As soon as the door closes you curl up into a ball of self pity. You stay there until you feel a foot nudging into your side.

“How’d it go?” Jeno asks.

“Spectacular, I made a fool out of myself again.” You sigh dramatically. You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Jeno surprises you by not pushing you for more, he only sets down his magazine and heads out to the front, presumably to give you some time to wallow.

Your pity party only lasts 30 seconds because Jeno is back almost immediately, shoving something into your face.

“What’s this?” He asks, waving a small piece of paper and some money.

You groan, mentally adding another item to the long list of “Things I’ve Done to Embarrass Myself in Front of Doyoung.” In your haste to get away, you had forgotten to actually charge Doyoung for the coffee.

“You’re lucky he’s such an honest person ‘you must have been busy since you took off in quite a rush so here’s the money for my coffee and a little extra just for you :)’” Jeno says in a mockingly cutesy voice, reading from the note that Doyoung left. “Gag. Looks like he left a tip specifically for you. How unfair, he just puts it in the tip jar whenever I help him. You don’t even have half the charm I have—at least I can make conversation!”

You hit Jeno weakly on the kneecap from your position on the floor. “Shut up I’m distraught.”

“Just tell him you think he’s hot and then ask him out on a date it’s not that hard.” You make a strangled sound in your throat. “On second thought, don’t do the first part. Just ask him out on a date.”

“I don’t know anything about him and I can’t even talk to him, how am I supposed to do that?”

Jeno hums, running a hand through his hair to try and think up a solution but before he can answer, Taeil pokes his head through the door and takes in the sight of his two employees sitting down on the job.

“I can’t leave you two alone for an hour.”

—

“So,” Jeno says as you’re both scrubbing the floor at the end of your shifts (Taeil had insisted on punishing you for slacking off earlier), “I thought of a way for you to get to know Doyoung better since you’re hopeless and can’t talk to him like a normal person.” Jeno shrieks as you flick some water at him. “I’m trying to help you!”

“Then help me and stop making fun of me!” You whine.

“So Doyoung always tips, right? Well we just have to use that to our advantage.”

“It’s already our advantage, we’re getting his money.”

“Shut up for a second. We use it to our advantage by making it a game.”

“A game?”

“A game.” Jeno is grinning widely like he’s just discovered life on Mars. You don’t care; you just want to know what the hell Jeno is on about. A few more seconds of silence pass while Jeno grins stupidly before you ask if he’s ever going to explain himself.

“Ah yeah, sorry. I just got caught up in my own genius. Okay, so this is what we do. Every day we put out two tip jars and we write a question for the day above them. Each jar is a choice. Then the customer, in this case, Doyoung, puts the money into the jar that has the choice that he prefers and boom—you know a little more about him each day.”

“Hmm, but you’d have to get permission from Taeil.” You point out.

“That’s easy, I’ll just ask him nicely, he can’t resist my charm.” Jeno bats his eyelashes at you who just snorts. “Think about it, you don’t even have to talk to him. I’m a genius, I know.”

You contemplate the idea momentarily while Jeno stands up and proceeds to give himself an award and make an acceptance speech to an adoring crowd. (“And the winner for the smartest and greatest friend goes to…..Lee Jeno!”) It would minimize the amount of time you would have to actually talk to Doyoung and that definitely means less embarrassment, seeing as you’re woefully socially inept. (“Ah really, this is so unexpected, thank you, thank you!”). It sounds like it could be fun too, you could always use a little excitement to spice up your boring work day. (“First of all I’d like to thank my coworker for being unable to man up and just talk to their crush, I’d also like to thank myself for being amazing at everything I do—) You decide to go for it.

Just as you’re going to tell Jeno to shut the fuck up, Taeil comes from the back where he’s counting inventory to do it for you. “If you two are fooling around you must be done, so go home before I get a migraine.”

Jeno stands up straight to salute Taeil yelling, “Sorry, boss!” Then, taking his apron off, he tosses it on the counter and heads out the door leaving you to finish putting away the cleaning supplies.

“Some best friend, huh?” You mumble to yourself. “I’m revoking his award.”

—

By some stroke of luck, Jeno does manage to get Taeil to agree to the scheme and you set out the first two jars with the question “Cake or Pie?” written above them with each jar designating a choice. You figure it’s a safe enough option. Surprisingly, many of the customers take to it and by mid-afternoon the tip jar has twice what the cafe normally makes in tips. Though the most important customer has yet to show up.

Jeno is on break and you’re idly tapping a finger on the counter while looking bored when Doyoung finally comes in. The bell above the door tinkles and when you look up Doyoung is already smiling at you.

“Hey!” Doyoung also gives you a small little wave and you want to die because it’s so cute. You manage to squeak out a hasty “‘Hi, Doyoung” in return.

“Americano with cream?” Doyoung nods and you busy yourself with the order.

“This is new,” Doyoung hums behind you, looking at the tip jars, “and a tough choice but I’d have to go with pie. But only if it’s apple. What about you?”

“W-What?” You stutter. Doyoung wasn’t actually supposed to ask your opinion on the matter. This was for you to get to know Doyoung. The bell on the door tinkles again and you’re saved from answering as Jeno returns from his break.

“Doyoungggg!!” He practically sings when he notices him at the counter, “Long time no see.”

“I’ve been here every day for two weeks.”

“Yes, but I didn’t get to see you yesterday. Our little baby hogged all of your attention.” Jeno says reaching his arm down to ruffle your hair. You attempt to smile at this but it’s more of a grimace seeing how you had ran off at the first chance you got.

Doyoung mumbles something and you swear you make out, “It was a nice change of pace” but you can’t be sure. Though you think you might be close considering the way Jeno is smiling back and forth between the two of you. It’s a bit frightening. Doyoung’s eyes grow impossibly wider. After a few more seconds he clears his throat.

“Well, I actually gotta run.” Doyoung smiles ever so slightly at you and you can feel your face heating up in embarrassment, “I wish I could stay and talk but I’m going to be late for class.” Doyoung grabs his drink and deposits a tip in the “pie” jar before heading out the door.

“Well, I’d say that’s a successful first day.” Jeno says once Doyoung is out of sight. “Not only do you know he prefers pie, but now you know he’s a student too.” He peeks over at you who’s still staring wistfully at the doorway. “You’ll get him next time.”

—

“This is the worst, he keeps trying to talk to me.” You whine after the third day you have out the tip jars and the third day you’ve clammed up when Doyoung tries to ask you your own opinion on the choices.

Jeno gives you a long suffering sigh. “I fail to see how this is a bad thing.”

“Because you said I wouldn’t have to talk to him.”

“You are genuinely the most hopeless person I have ever met. This is actually better than you could have hoped for, now you have something to talk about and it doesn’t have to be awkward, and then once you get comfortable enough talking to him you can ask him out.”

You know your best friend is right, but you just can’t seem to see how you’ll ever manage to ask Doyoung on a date if you can’t even talk to him for more than two seconds it takes to say “Here’s your change.”

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

—

“Jeno he chose dogs over cats, our love is doomed.”

Jeno is once again in the backroom reading a magazine since Taeil is out for the moment. “Stop being so dramatic.”

“What if he hates cats? How are we supposed to fall in love and live happily ever after together with our five kittens in a house with a white picket fence where we’ll sit on the porch together when we’re old sipping lemonade and holding hands.” You say with a pout.

“First of all, gross. And secondly, did he say he hates cats?”

“No.”

“Then I wouldn’t worry about it. Also, haven’t you heard that opposites attract?”

“But what if he hates all the things that I love? We’re so different, he chooses all the wrong options.”

“This isn’t about hate, he’s just choosing the one he prefers. Plus, once you finally get the guts to ask him out, you’ll have plenty of things to discuss and argue about.” You eye him warily. “Take me and Taeil for example, he’s always trying to argue with me.”

“I sure hope you aren’t dating our boss.” You point out.

“Hey,” Jeno says while winking at you, “never say never.” He ruffles your hair and slips past you to go help some customers. He doesn’t want to hear about it from Taeil later.

—

Two days later, you arrive to work several hours later than you usually would since you had a morning doctors appointment, leaving Jeno alone for the beginning of your usual shift. It turns out to be a mistake, however. When you arrive, Jeno is talking animatedly with Doyoung about whether Team Edward or Team Jacob is the right team. It had obviously also been a mistake to let him pick the tip jar question as well.

“You see, despite Taylor Lautner objectively being hotter than Robert Pattinson, and Edward borderline stalking Bella, at least Edward respected Bella’s boundaries and never tried to force a relationship on her—“ Jeno is yammering away to a distressed looking Doyoung.

You tried not to let your heart get carried away when Doyoung’s face lights up at your arrival.

You give him a small smile and a wave and move to go put your coat away when Doyoung’s low voice stops you.

“Since Jeno is firmly on Team Edward, what about you?” Doyoung asks.

“Um,” you start, feeling a little embarrassed, “I’ve always been more of a Team Jacob supporter myself.”

Doyoung smiles softly and drops his change into the jar. “Me too.”

—

You’re restocking syrups when Doyoung comes in at his usual time later in the week. Jeno stands in front of the counter taking some of the tip money out of the jars so they wouldn’t overflow. Today’s question of Harry Potter vs. Lord of the Rings had been very popular.

As soon as Doyoung walks in, Jeno scurries to the back room leaving you alone with your crush. It only struck you as a little bit odd seeing as normally Jeno would greet Doyoung obnoxiously or try his best at embarrassing you, but you had been getting better at talking to Doyoung lately so you weren’t complaining.

Come to think of it, Doyoung was being very quiet himself. Usually he would greet you enthusiastically with a smile on his face, yet all he’s doing at the moment is staring at the tip jars with a slight frown on his face.

“I didn’t think the choice this time was that hard.” You say when Doyoung finally looks up at you.

“O-oh,” Doyoung stutters, “I-It’s not really.”

You decide to just smile cutely. Talking about the tip jars comes easily now but you haven’t mastered regular conversation so you just leave it at that.

You move to ring up Doyoung’s order but Doyoung just drops his money into the left jar that you were pretty sure was Harry Potter and turns on his heel to walk briskly out of the cafe. You frown, wondering why choosing Harry Potter would make Doyoung blush like a schoolgirl and forget to even order his coffee.

Before you can fully process what just happened, Jeno bounds out from the backroom to check the tip jars.

“Aha! I knew he would!” Still confused as ever, you ask Jeno what he’s on about. As a response Jeno just turns the jars around. It should read ‘Which one is the better series? Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?’ and you know this because you had written it yourself that morning, but instead the card facing you says, ‘Who is more attractive? Jeno or Y/N?’

“Wh….at?” You say slowly. You’re starting to piece together why Doyoung was so flustered a few minutes ago.

“He chose you, dummy.” Jeno says.

“Yeah, but why was that the question?”

“Because you two were getting nowhere so I decided to spice things up.”

“Oh my god, this is so embarrassing! I told him the choice wasn’t hard, now he’s gonna think I’m some cocky asshole!” You nearly sob.

“Relax, what he thinks is that you’re hot.” Jeno says, nudging his elbow onto your lifeless form as you’ve now planted your face onto the counter. You don’t plan on moving for the rest of your shift.

“I hate you.” You mumble into the counter when Jeno starts shaking the jar of money in your face.

“You’re welcome.”

—

You’re mortified at the previous days happenings so you force Jeno to manage the register around the time Doyoung would normally come for his coffee. You’re in the back bothering Taeil when you hear fragments of conversation between Jeno and someone who sounds suspiciously like Doyoung. You don’t want to find out.

“Hey, isn’t that the guy you’ve been trying to seduce?” Taeil asks while peering out the little window on the door.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You answer, suddenly very interested in the ties on your apron.

“You’re a terrible liar. Just go talk to him.”

“I can’t.” You grumble, “Jeno embarrassed me.”

“Yeah he’ll do that. But he’s your best friend. And he’s just trying to help.” Taeil says and he almost looks…fond? You might be going crazy.

You’re still not going out there to actually talk to Doyoung, but you creep close to the door in order to spy on him from the safety of the backroom. Just like old times.

“…they’re busy?” You catch the last part of Doyoung’s question to Jeno.

“Yeah, they’re in the back stocking inventory, so graceful and beautiful.” You roll your eyes. Jeno is really laying it on thick.

“Okay, I’ll just talk to them tomorrow I guess. Will you just tell them—“ Doyoung blushes and he looks so cute that you might squeal. “Just tell them I said hi.”

After Doyoung leaves, you decide that it’s safe to come out of hiding so you join Jeno at the register.

“I’m here to help you with my graceful form.” You say with a teasing voice.

“Listen, I’d tell you lover boy said ‘Hi’ but I know your creepy ass was eavesdropping and you already know, so if you don’t ask that boy out soon then I will set him up with someone else.”

You have no reply.

—

This is it. You decide that you’re going to be brave. You put out the final tip jar about ten minutes before Doyoung is due. You need time to mentally prepare.

This time the question is simple: Will you go on a date with me? Yes or No?’

When you finally see the familiar pair of round eyes walk through the door, you feel like you’re going to throw up. Doyoung looks so effortlessly handsome today in black jeans and a blue pullover that you almost don’t mind the rejection you’re most certainly going to receive.

Doyoung walks up to the counter with a purpose and looks as though he has something important to say when he stops and spots the tip jars, mouth opening a little in surprise.

He just stands there staring at the jars and you feel like your heart is going to fall out of your chest. He’s taking too long to decide.

You wince when Doyoung speaks, expecting the worst. “If I say yes are you going to run away again?” Doyoung questions, a tiny smile on his face.

You promptly go red, “Um, no?” You clear your throat. “No.” You say more firmly this time.

“Good.” Doyoung says, dropping his money into the appropriate jar. His smile stretches across his whole face by now and he doesn't take his eyes off you. You’re pretty sure you look like an idiot with how widely you’re smiling right back at Doyoung.

“Oh my god,” Jeno yells from the backroom, “just kiss already.”

[willow-salix]

OK, this is random and silly, but also a bit mushy, not really my usual thing at all, but I felt the need for a squishy Virgil and to let you all awwww. This is my offering for this week's #fabfivefeb that the lovely @gumnut-logic is hosting. Enjoy.

"Duck…duck…duck...duck….GOOSE!" The young boy slammed his hand down on Selene's head, packing a powerful punch for one so small. The boy shot off like he'd been fired from a cannon to the cheering of his schoolmates. 

"Selene, you gotta run!" Gordon bellowed. It took Selene a second to scramble to her feet but then she took off, running the perimeter of the circle. 

"No! This isn't Baseball, you don't need a home run!" Alan laughed so hard he actually fell backwards out of the circle. 

"Chase him!" 

She changed course and raced after her attacker, who was as slippery as a greased eel and dodged around her, easily avoiding her. 

"Catch him!" Virgil yelled encouragingly.

"I'm trying!" The young boy slipped out of her grasp and threw himself down into her vacated spot. 

"Home!" he smiled triumphantly. 

"Heck, I missed," she threw up her hands in mock disappointment, "I guess I'll just have to sit out." She didn't get more than two paces before she was called back. 

"Sel, you can't leave, that's not how the game works," Virgil grinned from his spot on the ground, where he was sitting cross legged, just like  everyone else. 

"I can't?" 

"Nope," Alan chimed in. 

"THIS GAME MAKES NO SENSE! Why do we even have ducks and geese, what's that all about?"

 "Haven't you ever played this before?" Gordon looks horrified. 

"No! I never played that at school."

"What did you play then?" A little girl asked her. 

"We played lots of other games, I suppose one of the closest to this is British Bulldog."

"What's that?" a smaller boy who had been looking incredibly bored, suddenly sat up and took notice. 

"Yeah, I've never heard of that one," Gordon admitted. 

"Can we play it now?" a smaller girl asked. 

"I… I guess so, I mean, I don't see why not."

"How does it work?" 

"Well, the aim of the game is to run from one side to another, without getting caught, kids are only allowed to do touch tagging, adults are fair game. We start off with four people in the middle who have to catch and tag as many people as possible, the ones that get tagged join the catchers in the middle. We run back and forth until one person is left that makes it safely to the other side."

"That sounds fun," Alan grinned, "I'm in!"

EARLIER THAT DAY

"Once again I want to thank you all for doing this, and apologise for not being able to attend myself, we had a minor disaster with Hyper2, nothing to worry about, just a small acceleration problem," Tycho Reeves' hologram floated above the instrument panel of Thunderbird Two where John usually appeared. 

"Acceleration problem? I'm not going to have to shoot down another tube am I? We didn't bring Four."

"No, no, it's not that type of problem," Tycho assured them. "The issue is that as soon as we reach full acceleration she starts to go backwards. We think the safety cut off Brains designed is working a little too well."

Selene heard Alan's muffled snort of laughter behind her but managed not to join in, unfortunately Gordon wasn't so disciplined. 

Tycho cleared his throat before continuing.

"As I explained to Scott, the school is counted as a low income area and so it's helped by the charity I patron. They are doing heros week and International Rescue was the most written about people. The competition was held over three schools in the district and the essay that was chosen belongs to a boy named Will."

They all nodded, having read the brief. 

"I've scheduled you in for two hours but the school is more than happy for you to stay as long as you like, the kids especially would like you to have lunch with them if possible."

"I'm always up for lunch," Gordon said, having managed to gain control of his laughter. 

"We'll stay as long as we can," Virgil promised, "but if an emergency comes in, we'll have to go."

"Wouldn't expect anything less," Tycho smiled, cutting the feed with a goodbye nod. 

"This is going to be so much fun!" Alan cheered. 

"This is going to be hell," Selene groaned. 

"You didn't have to come," Virgil pointed out gently. "I don't know why you're making such a fuss, you're great with kids."

"I had to, I couldn't leave all the girls to the mercy of all your testosterone, they had to know that girls can be part of a team too. But I'm still allowed to make a fuss," Selene grumbled.

"We aren't."

"You're boys, it's common knowledge that boys have a hidden inner child that's always bursting to get out."

"I resent that remark," Gordon mock huffed. 

"Plus," Selene continued as if he had never spoken, "you aren't the ones with a womb that your Grandma is determined to guilt into popping out great-grandchildren."

"Would that be so bad?" Virgil asked innocently and she could already see the images he was imagining from the little smile forming on his face. 

"Yes! With all that Tracy super sperm, I'd have a herd in a year! You guys don't just stop at one." 

Alan choked, Gordon laughed so hard that no sound came out, just a wheeze like asthmatic bagpipes. 

"Bit dramatic, don't you think?" Virgil's eyebrow arched but his lips twitched as he held back a grin. 

"Not really. But, we talked about it and neither of us feel even remotely ready to think about anything like that, it's just not the right time. Honestly, I don't know if it will ever be the right time or if we'd even want any, at the moment we don't. Much the same as we aren't getting married to please everyone else, I'm not popping out kids for any reason other than us wanting them either."

"Fair enough," he nodded, seeing her point. "You know, Dad used to go to schools and talk to the kids about being an Astronaut. One time he came to the school that Scott and I were at and it was so weird to see all our classmates going crazy over his stories, stories we'd heard a million times before and thought were rather boring. To them he was Jeff Tracy, Astronaut, but to us he was just Dad, the slightly goofy guy that made us do our homework and gave us chores to do around the house."

"Do you think that Dad will want to do it again after we bring him home?" Alan asked, not remembering anything that Virgil was talking about. Selene reached over to take his hand, giving it a little squeeze. 

"Oh I'm sure he will," Virgil smiled fondly, "that was the only time that people thought he was cool, he'd never give up a chance to tell impressionable kids all about space."

Gordon laughed. "He got John and Alan but never managed with me, I prefer to keep my sights set a little lower and wetter."

"Boy, do not be saying stuff like that in front of the kids," Selene warned as Alan sniggered beside her. 

"I just meant-" 

"We know what you meant," Virgil laughed. 

"Well I'm just going to shut up if I'm going to keep getting picked on!" 

They lapsed into silence until the school playing field came into view, the only place big enough to land. There was already a crowd of children and teachers waiting to greet them. 

"Wow, that's a lot of kids," Alan's eyes grew wider as he looked out of the window to the field below. "Can we handle that many?" 

"Luckily we won't have to, we're doing a talk to everyone in the school hall, and then going to hang out with the winner and his class," Virgil assured him. 

"So only say, thirty kids, not 300?" 

"Yep." 

Alan nodded. "That we can handle." 

Virgil brought the big craft down softly on the grass, and even the soundproofing of Two couldn't drown out the cheers and excited screams of the children. 

"Here we go," Gordon gulped as they walked down into the belly of the craft to make their appearance. 

                                 ***

"And remember the golden rule, be safe, be careful, and be kind. Those in need of help aren't just the ones in danger, they are the ones being bullied, being hurt, or in a sad situation. There are some things in life that people can't help and there are some that they can, and you are the next generation of International Rescue Agents, it's your job to make sure that you help as many people as you can," Virgil smiled, looking around at the rapt faces of the kids. 

" You don't have to be big to be a help, " Alan chimed in. 

" You don't have to be super strong," Gordon continued. 

" You don't even have to be a boy, " Selene added to the cheers of a number of girls in the audience. "You don't have to be an action man to help someone, sometimes the help that people really need is to know they have a friend, someone to have their back and to stand with them when they need it. Emotional support is just as important as physical support." 

"Wherever you go, whatever adventures you go on, remember to always think things through and plan for your safety. It can be a big, dangerous world out there and taking risks makes it all the more likely that you'll end up in trouble. Always play safe," Gordon instructed, reiterating the lessons they had just gone over involving safety in the water, out in nature and even in the city and towns. Danger was everywhere, they knew that better than anyone and knew that a situation could turn deadly in a matter of seconds if you weren't fully prepared. They had instructed them on how to make themselves as safe as possible if they did get into trouble, how to call for help and what to do while waiting for help to arrive. Now they were making sure that their lessons had hit home and wrapping up the talk. 

"Always carry your phone," Alan continued to drum in their words of caution, "and never be afraid to ask for help, because there is always someone willing to step up. It could be the police, the fire service, paramedics, mountain rescue, the coastguard or even us."

"We aren't the hero's, we're just the ones that use the equipment and knowledge we have to the best of our abilities, and you can too. You can be a hero, you don't need a Thunderbird, you just need a good heart and to be a good friend," Virgil concluded. "Thanks for listening to us today, remember what we said, and together we can all make the world a better place.

The teachers started clapping first, then the children joined in. Selene watched her boys visibly relax as they finished, not really used to public speaking.

The principal joined them at the front of the hall and thanked them for their time. 

"Are there any questions for International Rescue before we finish and go back to our lessons?"

A sea of hands shot up and Principal Jones waited patiently for them to pick a few children.

Virgil scanned the little faces, the waving arms and the zeroed in, pointing to a smaller boy sitting on the end of a row, who startled and looked around to make sure that it was actually him who had been picked. He was clearly very nervous and not used to being noticed, but he sat up straighter, his voice growing louder as he gained confidence. 

"Hi, my name is Jason, I just wanted to ask-"

"Speak up, Jason, we can't hear you," a teacher called encouragingly. 

Jason took a deep breath and spoke again, this time a little louder. "How did you guys get so big, big enough to help people? Were you ever smaller, like me?" 

"Alan's still small," Gordon quipped, earning himself a glare from his brother. 

"Believe it or not, we were all small at your age," Virgil answered, ignoring his brothers. 

"Even you?" 

"Even me."

"So I won't stay this small forever?" 

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being smaller," Alan insisted. "You don't measure a person's worth on how big they are, but on what they do. You don't have to be big to be brave." 

"Jason will never be brave or big then," a voice called out from the other end of the row. 

Jason hung his head, looking down at his shoes, clearly embarrassed. 

"Hey, that's not a very nice thing to say, Jacob," Principal Jones called out. "We don't bully people here, were you not listening to a word these nice people said?" 

"Sorry Principal Jones," Jacob called back, sounding a little less cocky and a little more contrite. 

Virgil was off before anyone realised he was moving, coming to a stop beside Jason's seat. He hunkered down, getting as close to the boys level as he could. 

"Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't be brave, OK?" He was speaking directly to the boy but his deep voice carried across the hall with little effort, making sure that everyone heard him. 

"But it's true, I'm not brave." 

"Sure you are, you're talking to us now aren't you? That's brave." 

Jason didn't answer. 

"There's nothing wrong with being quiet, you know. Not everyone has to be loud and the center of attention."

"But how will I ever be a Thunderbird if I can't be brave and talk to people?" 

"I know it's hard, but you don't have to talk to people face to face to be brave or to help people." 

"I don't?" 

"No, our brother is much like you, he doesn't like to be around many people or to talk to them if he can help it, but he still spends all day, every day helping people." 

"How does he do that?" 

Virgil smiled. "He listens. And sometimes that's all people need, to know that there is someone out there that cares enough to listen for those that need help. We couldn't do our job without him." 

Jason appeared to think about this for a few moments before he nodded. "OK, I'll do that, I'll listen to people and make sure they get help if they need it." 

"Good plan," Virgil hauled himself to his feet, patting the boy gently on the shoulder before joining the others once again. 

"Are there any more questions?" Principal Jones asked and once again what looked like a million hands shot up into the air. 

"It's going to be a long day," Gordon whispered to Selene in a side whisper. 

                                      ***

"So, everyone clear on the rules?" Selene called over the noise of almost forty excited kids and three grown men who were just as loud. 

She, Gordon, Will and a little girl named Mandy were lined up in the center of the games area, while Virgil, Alan and the rest of the children stood in a pack in front of them. 

"On your marks, get set, GO!" their teacher yelled, blowing a whistle. The kids surged forwards, Virgil and Alan running with them. 

Selene managed to tap two gently on the shoulder, Gordon tagged four and Will and Mandy tagged one each before the rest made it to the other side and safety. 

The eight tagged children joined them in the middle, spreading out to form a line of defense. 

"We've got them now!" Gordon crowed as the whistle blew again. This time he only caught two and Selene didn't manage one. They were slippery little buggers who could duck and dive better than Kayo. 

Third round and Gordon leapt on a screaming Alan, bringing him down to the ground in a tangle of limbs. Selene went after Virgil but missed. 

Fifth round and they had all but three children and Virgil in the center, ready to rumble.

"Team, we've made it this far, we've done our best, no matter what happens next, no matter who wins or who falls, we're all winners!" Virgil's rousing speech was met with whoops from his team mates as they exchanged high fives then prepared to run. The whistle blew and they sprang forward.

Two were caught instantly and joined the ranks of the catchers, one dodged past three kids and dived between Selene's legs only to be tagged by Gordon who was protecting her rear. That left… 

Alan broke away from the pack and chased after Virgil who was running full pelt, trying to reach the end of the line and dodge around the edge, unable to plow through the middle. 

With a battle cry that sounded like a strangled baboon, Alan leapt onto his brother's back. 

"Bundle!" he screamed and a gaggle of kids rushed to his aid. 

They swarmed Virgil, some grabbing onto his legs, others hanging off his arm as he fought valiantly to keep moving. Technically he had lost the second Alan had landed on his back, but they were clearly having too much fun to stop. 

Virgil continued his attempt to walk but eventually he had to give in and admit defeat. 

Declaring Virgil the winner, the kids teacher pried a few enthusiastic kids off his leg, although he asked her to leave the little girl who had hold of his hand and was refusing to let go. 

It was a tired but happy group of children who waved goodbye to their heros an hour later. 

Selene sat back in her chair with an exhausted sigh, Alan beside her. It didn't take long for his eyes to droop shut and his head to come to rest on her shoulder. 

She pulled out her phone and started to flick through the pictures she'd taken. There was Gordon making faces with a couple of boys, there was Will reading out his prize winning essay, Alan pointing out various planets and constellations on a map to a number of enthralled kids and last Virgil. The little girl who wouldn't let go of his hand now perched on his lap, hugging his arm as he sat on an impossibly small chair that looked like it was about to buckle any second, a ring of starstruck children sitting on the floor in front of him while he told them stories of their rescues. 

Selene had always known that he was an amazing big brother, just like Scott was but for different reasons. Scott was the one that would leap to your defense and want to pummel whoever had hurt his sibling, but he had a devilish streak that surfaced now and then. Virgil always had his brothers backs, he was always there, ready to lend a hand and help them out of any situation, he was the solid, comforting presence that soothed your fears and made everything better. Seeing him with the kids had given her a glimpse of what he must have been like with Alan and Gordon when they were younger and it made her love him all the more.

She hadn't said anything while they had been speaking of children, but one of the reasons she and John were so dead set against kids at that moment in time was because John, as well as the others, knew only too well just how hard it was to grow up missing a parent, and for Alan he'd done it twice. They led dangerous lives and the thought of one of them possibly not making it home to their children one day wasn't something they wanted to think about. But now, seeing how they were with the kids at the school, Selene knew that any child she had would have the most wonderful family to look out for them, with four amazing uncles, a kick ass Auntie in Kayo, a tough as nails Grandma and hopefully a Grandfather that would adore them. 

[mykedrop]

Persona 5 Royal Thoughts

     Alright so there’s a lot I want to talk about here. Fair warning, this write up is actually like, really damn long. Also like HUGE spoiler warning below the cut! I played the original when it came out, bought a PS4 practically only to play Persona 5 not even knowing if I’d like it. But I did! I loved it, loved all of it. Beat the game in just over 100 hours I think. Easily became my second favorite game ever. So now here comes Persona 5 Royal, adds a bunch of new stuff, a lot of little stuff and some pretty huge additions and reworks, includes all the dlc from P5 which is nice. It’s a strictly better version of the game I already thought was amazing enough.

     I remember being a little wary of going for it and reading a non-spoiler list of all the changes, which are actually A LOT when you list them out. Then I thought about how much I loved playing the original, and figured I’m not doing much else right now, so I got it. And BOY that game just checks all the boxes for me. It’s the same game, but better now. There’s a little more depth to playing the game and more stuff!

   One of the biggest additions and probably my favorite addition is Maruki’s story and confidant. Everything involving him I thought was incredible. First of all the man is a dreamboat. Secondly great voice actor. Thirdly the story built around him was really awesome to play through. Every time some new story beats came through while playing through the first parts of the game I always thought how great it all fit in. It made sense, it kind of opened up the world of the game a little more narrative-wise and it all felt right. And the SONG (Ideal and the Real) that plays in Maruki’s office is so GOOD. That song plays in my head 24/7 and I love it. He’s got such a great personality and story and it was a great time getting to rank him up. The song ALONE made me want to hang out with him as much as possible. It’s an angle I wasn’t expecting, his story I mean, and while the “right” choice was pretty clear, it still made me think about what he was trying to accomplish. And they drove the point home real hard during the final stretch of the game before you figure out what’s going. It’s so hard to look at your friends having such a good life and go, “yeah no I don’t think so.” But that’s a whole different  discussion. It felt sort of morally ambiguous, which was really cool. And I also like that Maruki gives you a choice, not only once but twice. Which again, gives you pause, even if only a short one.

    So that brings me to another one of the biggest additions: the new palace. BOY I love this palace. From the way it’s first introduced so early on, to how you keep peeking in every once in a while making a little progress here and there. Until finally you’re able to just go wild at the end. This palace feels like the team designing this was told go all out. The aesthetic, the mechanics, the layout. Going through this I had a big ol smile on my face the entire time at how different it felt compared to those in the original game. Those are good too, don’t get me wrong. I don’t have any palaces I dislike. But I can easily imagine some ideas and how incredible some palaces would be with the level of detail and complexity of Maruki’s palace. It’d be kind of ridiculous and extremely difficult no doubt, maybe even a little too much to ask for I think. Anyway, seeing the garden section of the palace for the first time was INCREDIBLE. They went so crazy with making almost every part of that palace look amazing! And that last area was easily my favorite of the palaces in terms of looks and theme. They did a good job of conveying the scale of that giant tree where the treasure is at with those stairs. Plus it’s another great moment to show of the smaller details of the palace like some flowers, the lighting, some other really neat effects. It was great! And the whole boss fight at the end was so fantastic to watch! I’ll say that even at the hardest difficulty, my SO (who is a turn-based combat FIEND) didn’t have too much of a difficult time with the fight. But the mechanics of it were so interesting! I loved the ideas they went with. Again it felt like they really gave it their all with this palace. The story beats during the fight were incredible as well, and they gave me one of my favorite moments back that used to be in the Yaldabaoth fight: Press X to Fire! The fight with Maruki at the end was also pretty novel too, and so dramatic! The snow falling at the end, the glass platforms collapsing, it all looked so GOOD. One of my favorite things in any game like this (remake/remaster/GOTY version/etc.) is getting to listen to NEW MUSIC. And this palace KILLED IT with music, as did the rest of the game as usual. There’s no feeling that compares to being right at the edge of beating a Persona game. And this palace was a hell of an out of the park home run. After 170 hours, it was so bittersweet to beat the final boss and move on towards the rest of the story. I loved playing through that palace and it’s a shame I’ll never get to experience it for the first time again.

    On to one of the more advertised additions: Yoshizawa! My first thought when I saw her way back when when they first revealed her is I thought she’d be a female protagonist. Which I thought would be INCREDIBLE. Even if it’s not exactly my preference, I would’ve been so HYPE to romance one of the guys. I didn’t really think about it from a gameplay standpoint, as there are way more girl confidants than guys, but still I thought it’d be fun to potentially explore that! Obviously that wasn’t the case, but now on to what I think of the new confidant! I love her! Like absolutely 100% love her so much! Let me tell you just how those concept meetings went down when they were making Yoshizawa: Cute girl, in cute clothes, who has a cute personality. Done, the perfect character. Of course she’s much more than that, but on the surface level it’s easy to see where they were going with this character. Playing the game I had zero idea about her eventual involvement in the final section of the game, so seeing her only have 5 confidant levels I was a little disappointed! Maxed her out as fast as possible and waited... Seeing her story woven through the original narrative was also super fun. Like Maruki, I really liked seeing her in places where she wasn’t before, and adding new scenes and such around to flesh out her character throughout the first two semesters. Then came the new part of the game after the holy grail fight. I was absolutely not expecting that twist with Yoshizawa. I had no idea that they would go somewhere like THAT in this game! It totally caught me off guard and I LOVED IT. What an incredible story all around. And like super fucked! The whole reveal moment was FANTASTIC! Had my jaw on the floor and everything! Her entire confidant was fun, using her in combat was fun, and her romance path was extremely fun! There’s nothing I don’t like about her really. She had such a wild story and such an amazing arc that I can’t not love her! She’s not my favorite confidant, but still adding in a new character like her into such a tight-knit group like the phantom thieves that i already loved as is is such a risky move! It’s so hard to improve upon a dynamic like theirs I think, but they made it work when they needed to! Anyway I love her character a lot and her story and all that. Beautiful.

    Speaking of adding new characters to a dynamic, this might be my favorite addition/rework in the entire game: Akechi. Holy crap I can’t tell you how much I LOVED HEARING AKECHI JUST GO OFF EVERY BATTLE, or while we went riding through mementos, or just all his new dialogue and confidant level ups. Akechi very quickly and easily became one of my favorite parts about the new part of the game. His character was such a HUGE CLASH with every other character in the party, especially Yoshizawa! Which I have to imagine isn’t an accident. He is fuckin CRAZY. Unlocking his Showtime attack was BONKERS. That whole sequence with Yoshizawa and Akechi in Maruki’s palace was so GOOD. Having Akechi be part of the team was an amazing breath of fresh of air. Trust me when I say I have ZERO problem or complaint with the overly positive nature of the party. But MAN it is FUN to see Akechi just be an ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE. Every new interaction with Akechi was a TREASURE. Dropping the “detective prince” act was 100000% the right move. Even more fun was seeing Haru and Akechi’s interactions in mementos. The way every character acted towards him was pretty good, but something about Haru’s overbearing positivity towards him was really fun to watch. I can’t stress enough how much Akechi added to the experience of the final act of the game. His persona? Badass. His personality? Absolutely cutthroat and also badass. His hair? Still incredible. Also the only character in the game who will only play 701 in darts. That threw me for a fuckin LOOP the first time I invited him out for darts. Dude is a STUD in like every way. Love Akechi A LOT. He singlehandedly brought the experience up from an 11/10 to a 12/10. This game is so much better with Akechi being able to go batshit crazy. One of my favorite interactions is during battle: when you heal the whole party, with Akechi and Ryuji being two of the active members, depending on their order, you’ll have Akechi say “No time for thanks” right before you hear Ryuji say “Thanks!” Just thought that really exemplified how much of an ass he is, and how much I love him for it. He is THE badass asshole character this game didn’t know it needed but absolutely deserved. How much of a bad ass do you have to be to able to look at your inevitable death in the face and say “this is how it has to be.” One of the coolest parts of the whole game is him not only accepting his eventual fate, but actively driving you towards making that decision.

     Next up I suppose I’ll talk about Maruki as a character. Love the way he was included, and liked all his interactions with all the characters during the first part of the game. He’s just so likable and honestly very relatable for me. Helping people through counseling has always been a personal goal of mine, so it’s always interesting to see how characters doing the same are portrayed. And while his overarching plan is something I don’t agree with, wanting to help people drives you to do crazy things sometimes. I felt for the guy. I enjoyed all the hangouts with him, and felt like I really understood his goals. The way his entire story was crafted did an incredible job of divulging all the right information at the right time. Before Akechi 2.0 came around, he was my favorite part of the game! I love the confidants and the stories they tell and interacting with them and all that. I looked forward to ranking up Maruki and trying to see what he was all about. The more I learned the more I liked him. Before, during, and after the palace my feelings about him didn’t change much. The man went crazy sure, but I still couldn’t bring myself to hate him or even dislike him. I love the man! My SO had no mercy for the man during the boss fight, but I felt bad seeing her kick his ass! I thought they did a good job mixing up the motivations for Maruki as a villain. Making him a confidant made it so much more difficult to picture him as the big bad evil guy. Plus he has like one of the best songs tied to him in Ideal and the Real. I’ll mention that as much as I feel is necessary.

      So now I’ll go through all of the smaller details that I really liked in no particular order. Kichijoji was a great destination, gave me a lot to do over the course of the game. The phone calls after you hang out with a confidant are a very welcome addition! It’s a way to fit in more dialogue which I always love, and gives you a chance to rank up the confidant a lot quicker. There’s the fact that Morgana no longer forces you to sleep nearly as often, letting you at least mess around in LeBlanc, which helps rank up your social stats. I LOVE THE DARTS MINI GAME. And I’m so glad it also gave you an upgrade for your baton passes. I did not play enough darts. The jazz club was also MY JAM. Again more dialogue, great music, and a fun way to give your confidants new skills or stat boosts. One thing that I find really funny is the way they handled Valentine’s Day. They CHANGED IT. I know they added a lot of new stuff to them for new story reasons. but they CHANGED THE CONTEXT OF THE DATES. For example, in the original P5, Kawakami makes it VERY CLEAR what’s going down later. Ann too! But in P5R, that context is GONE LMAO they really went and changed the dialogue to be less sexual. It’s strange, but mostly I found it funny considering Takemi’s max rank conversation is untouched, among plenty of other ones. Anyway White Day was a GREAT addition! The final part of the date overlooking the city is AMAZING. That reveal made my jaw drop. Speaking of things that changed, the Christmas date also changed, and I like the change a lot! Watching the snow fall from the window on the bed was a great touch. The changes to boss battles and some parts of palaces because of the grappling hook were very welcome. The grappling hook itself was also extremely handy. The thieves den is an incredible addition that adds SO MUCH NEW DIALOGUE AND CONTEXT THAT IT’S A CRIME THAT IT’S HIDDEN IN THE DEN! Anyway. I’ll never say no to new personas. The showtime attacks are a GEM. The new music in this game is AWESOME. I can’t stop listening to the soundtrack. I really enjoyed getting to see a little bit of the dynamic between Sojiro, Futaba and Wakaba. I never knew just how much I wanted to see that until I saw the bit of it in the late part of the game. I don’t remember if it was in the original game, but I LOVE that one of Yusuke’s battle lines is “How do you want to do this?” LOVE IT. Oh Chihaya’s confidant boosting fortune reading was SUPER CLUTCH. Extremely good quality of life right there. I love the extra little bit they added to the warden’s confidant, getting to take them out of the velvet room and show them around. Super cute. Iwai’s gun customization was pretty sweet. Adding Jose to mementos was strange, but very welcome! It made going around much more interesting. Oh speaking of, buffing Ryuji’s instant kill was a GREAT idea. Haha Morgana go vroom vroom. The alarm in the velvet room was also awesome and made making the perfect persona a million times easier.

     It’s been a few weeks now since I’ve finished the game, and it’s unfortunate that I can’t remember more of the little things. This whole write up has been an on and off thing since I finished P5R. Still I love the game and don’t really have any complaints. Well maybe one: LET ME FEED YUSUKE. Someone please feed that man. I forgot how much I loved playing the original game, and going through it again with all the new stuff was a total pleasure! And obviously the 3rd semester was an incredible experience. If you like the original a lot, and it’s been a while since you played it, get P5R. If you never played the original but were interested in it, get P5R. Anyway that’s all I got to say about it.

[murasaki-murasame]

I honestly wasn’t planning to summon for Gala Thor at first, since I want to focus on saving for stuff like the end of year holiday banners, but he ended up looking really strong and also I want to make Tartarus less of a miserable slog to get through with my light units in any way possible, without resorting to ‘haha dark characters go brr :)’, so here we are, lol.

Results under the cut [plus some of my thoughts about the new Tartarus fight]

I started with about 260 summons saved up [which is part of why I wanted to skip it, since I prefer to have at least 300 summons before pulling on a banner], but in just 60 summons I got:

-Ramona dupe [one day I’ll get Gala Elly . . . ]

-Dupe Liger [now at either 1UB or 2UB, I can’t remember which]

-Dupe Pazuzu and Simurgh [they’re both now MUB so that’s nice, even though I don’t use them, lol]

-Ramiel x2 [I don’t really care much about him one way or another since I have other good shadow dragons but it’s nice to have him]

-Gala Thor

At first I was a bit disappointed by Gala Thor, since he gives a base 50% strength and an additional 45% bonus strength based on your energy stacks, which seemed kinda lame compared to Mars, but it turns out that having just one energy stack gives you a bonus 25% strength, with the other stacks giving an extra 5% each, so basically you almost always have 75% strength, which is really nice, and I think at least puts him at par with Daikokuten.

Also apparently his damage mods when shapeshifted, including his dragon skill, are super high, so he works really nicely with someone like Gala Euden, who I’ve basically ended up maining against Tartarus. 

It’ll be a while before the DPS sim updates, but I think Thor’s probably gonna have a pretty big impact on how strong the light roster is, so that’s neat.

Though tbh I think a lot of people are still gonna end up just using shadow units against Tartarus, even if Thor helps bridge the gap between light and shadow units a bit. Which is it’s own whole problem with the game’s balance, lol. I think if they just gave Tartarus poison immunity, that’d probably be enough to actually make everyone use light units in the fight, but I still feel like they need to give endgame bosses way higher off-element damage resistance.

I haven’t managed to get many clears of Tartarus yet, but I have a lot of mixed feelings about the fight. I’m happy to finally have a relevant piece of content to use my light units in, and I like most of the mechanics in the fight, but a lot of it doesn’t really work well in practice, and there’s some really annoying parts of the fight too. Mainly the fact that they decided to keep the enervation mechanic from Void Nidhogg, lol. I quit doing that fight as soon as the shadow Chimera came out specifically because it makes that fight such a goddamn slog, and it continues to be just as awful in Tartarus. And they somehow made it even worse by deciding to give it to you unavoidably at least once in the fight. At least in Void Nidhogg you could dodge everything and never get enervated, but you have to deal with it at least once in this fight.

Also, the whole portal mechanic is extremely cool, and I hope they experiment with more stuff like this in the future, but I feel like every time I go back to the main arena, I have like I have to immediately try and figure out which part of the fight I walked back in on, and usually I have like two seconds to react before one of the screen-wide attacks happens and kills me. It’s really disorienting, lol.

The prison mechanic in general is also kinda hard to wrap my head around, and I feel like it requires maybe a bit more team coordination than is reasonable to expect from a game like this, but really I think it’s just my punishment for never doing High Zodiark, since I think it’s one of the many parts of this fight that are really similar to that fight, and I have absolutely no experience with any of them.

Anyway, now that Tartarus is out it’s making me think back on the Agito bosses as a whole, before we move into the 2nd anniversary where we’ll probably at least get a hint at the next phase of endgame content, and in spite of the various issues I have with them, I think the Agito fights are a huge improvement over the High Dragon fights. You can really tell how Cygames [for better or worse] was trying to shake things up and figure out how to make engaging endgame fights, and for the most part I think it worked out.

The difficulty balance between all the fights [especially counting the Master fights] is kinda all of the place, like how eKai is extremely easy while eAO and eTart are kinda obnoxiously long and difficult if you do them in the intended ways, but I think that at least shows how they kept trying new things. mKai’s also apparently a lot harder than eKai [though I haven’t tried it], so they clearly learnt from the feedback they got from that.

I think Volk and Ciella are probably my favourite of the Agito fights at the moment, for different reasons. Volk feels really well-balanced for the current state of the flame roster, and has mechanics that require a degree of cooperation and coordination without being overly punishing like Tartarus kinda feels at the moment. And on the other hand, I really like Ciella’s fight because it feels like it’s just at the right level of difficulty for me to be able to reliably do by myself. At least on manual. I’ve never really managed to get auto solo to work, but I enjoy doing it manually. Either way, it’s nice to have endgame fights like this that can be comfortably soloed if you have a strong enough team, and I really like how for Ciella you have to build a really tanky, defense-oriented team in order to be able to solo it. I feel like 90% of the game basically punishes you for trying to do anything other than raw damage-dealing, so I really appreciate that Ciella is designed in a way that rewards you for making tanky team comps. It also lets Sylas be genuinely meta for something, which I’m grateful for, and it gave Templar Hope some redemption after he was initially deemed as being kinda worthless after he came out.

I also like how status effects are integrated into the fight mechanics, and [for the most part] both status resistances for each element feel like they have a purpose in their Agito fight. Compared to HDTs where it feels like every element roster is split between ‘units that are good for the fight’ and ‘units that are immediately handicapped’. This is actually one part where I think Tartarus works really well as a boss fight, since unless you can kill him before the poison portals happen, you really need a poison-res character to deal with them.

We still have three more of the Master fights to come out, but either way I really like the Agito fights, and I’m optimistic for whatever the next set of endgame content will be. Personally, I’m still hoping for them to build upon the Imperial Onslaught mode, since that feels like an almost obsolete part of the game, but that sort of wave-based content would be nice to have for endgame co-op.

Also, I still really hope that the Agito bosses end up being DL’s version of the Eternals/Evokers from GBF, where we can eventually get the ability to recruit them as playable characters by doing lots of grinding. They might just get released as gala units instead, but I’d prefer it if they were obtainable through grinding.

On the one hand they’re basically all villains, but on the other hand the recent story chapter made it pretty obvious that they’re probably all being warped and twisted by the masks Nedrick gave them, so it’d be pretty easy to explain how they could eventually be recruited. Also GBF has it’s own share of characters who probably shouldn’t be recruitable for moral reasons but they still are, lol.

Also when you fight them in-game it already looks like they have the same sorts of character model rigs as normal adventurers, and their attack animations all seem at least roughly based on regular weapon types [Volk being a lance unit, Kai Yan being an axe unit, Ciella being a bow unit, Ayaha/Otoha being dagger units, and Tartarus being a blade unit], so I feel like it wouldn’t be hard to make them playable. Ayaha/Otoha would probably be the hardest one to make work unless they get released as two separate characters, but it’s possible that they’d be a unique case where you use them both in combat at the same time, and switch between which one you’re actively controlling. 

It’s probably a bit too early for any of this to happen since the Agito have basically only just gotten introduced in the main story, so it probably won’t be touched upon for the 2nd anniversary, but I still think it’ll happen eventually.

Anyway, all that aside, at the moment I’m basically just gonna keep saving my summons for either a rerun of Gala Elly/Alex, or the holiday banners. In particular I really want to do lots of summons on the New Years banner. I know we’re gonna have Gala Zena or something next month for the anniversary, but if it’s anything like last year we’ll get lots of free summons during her banner, so I’ll at least wait and see how that works out before I spend any resources chasing her.

I also don’t really care much for Nevin and Pinon so even though I didn’t get them, I’m just gonna quit on this banner while I’m ahead, lol

[ninetyfivepercentdantomasik]

She-Hulk: Thoughts

There’s this image going around the internet comparing two versions of Marvel’s She-Hulk. The argument (because there’s always an argument) is that one version shows an Empowered Woman, the other shows Hulk With Breasts.

I wanted to offer up my take to the endless void. Make of it what you will, dismiss it if you prefer.

Jennifer Walters (aka She-Hulk) is the cousin of Bruce Banner (aka The Incredible Hulk). After receiving a blood transfusion from him, she acquired a similar version of the anger-induced transformation that is “Hulk”. As her anger increases, so too does her superhuman strength. However, unlike her cousin, she retains her personality and intelligence while transformed.

More has been added to the character throughout the years, but for me, this was always She-Hulk in a nutshell. I knew her origin story and character pretty much exclusively from The Incredible Hulk animated series. Over the years, I’ve caught bits and pieces of her in other media, and while she’s always been somewhat overlooked for her bigger, stronger cousin, I think we’re in a period where a She-Hulk series could do a lot of good.

She-Hulk has rarely had center stage. It’s hard getting out of someone’s shadow when even your name is one of those “Established Character with Feminine Prefix” tragedies. Much like Supergirl, people always compare you to the original and dismiss you as a derivative knockoff designed to pander to a specific audience. Fact is, She-Hulk’s powers are canonically defined as a “milder” version of Hulk’s. By intent, she is weaker than him. Worse, if a job calls for a hero with super-strength, she’ll be overlooked for other heroes who are recognized for the distinct super-strength specific to them, as opposed to a weaker version of someone else’s. From such a perspective, it seems practically impossible for growth and recognition to flourish in the character. There will always be that giant, Hulk-sized shadow looming over any of her superhero achievements. Then again, people often misjudge what makes a strong character.

One of the things I always particularly liked about She-Hulk was that her design told her story, which is a difficult thing to do. Looking at her, the green skin and muscles create an instant association with the Hulk. Distinct vestiges of super-strength, durability, and extensive property damage. That said, this is generally where the similarities with her and Hulk end. Build-wise, She-Hulk's musculature is less like a giant wall of biceps and more akin to an Amazonian physique, like something a normal person could dream to achieve (okay, an Olympic athlete, but a human Olympic athlete). In terms of costume, her trademark look is effectively an aerobics leotard*, something that stretches and adjusts comfortably for either form. Furthermore, the character has a clear personality that comes across in both her expressions and body language which paints a pretty solid picture of exactly who you’re dealing with. It says, “I’m a woman, I’m a hero, I can think, and I can break you in half, too”. It’s a confident, energetic persona, equal parts intimidating and inspiring. All this creates the image of a person who has achieved harmony with their super-self, something rare in comics or reality.

Where She-Hulk really shines is when she’s allowed to do things other heroes, including and especially the Hulk, are unable to do. Part of every superhero’s story is conflict, be it with their nemesis(es), their fellow heroes, or themselves. Calm, well-adjusted individuals generally don’t become heroes. There’s always got to be something to drive them into another adventure, be it duty, survival, tragedy, etc. Worse yet for their fragile psyches, the job never ends. Even death doesn’t get you a pass in this line of work. You keep going until the superpower life has ground your character into the dirt and you become so unpleasant to be around that you either get replaced or rebooted. She-Hulk has an somewhat unique niche in this sort of demanding, never-ending universe of pain. Put simply, it’s a functioning ordinary life.

A moment’s pause to consider what that is to a super.

Jennifer Walters’ superhero identity is publicly known, removing any kind of “secret alter-ego” struggle. She has a level of self-control with regards to her powers few heroes ever get a chance for. In addition, her super work is entirely legal, usually at the request of any number of publicly-recognized hero organizations, as opposed to a certain blind lawyer in Hell’s Kitchen who will immediately lose his license to practice law if his vigilante extracurriculars are ever exposed. Possibly most important though, is that Jennifer Walters is able to maintain a career as a legal attorney in her She-Hulk form. Having the kind of peaceful coexistence within oneself to walk into court in a suit and green skin is a true marvel. Because the fact is, she’s a Hulk in a courthouse (read as “bull in a china shop”) with confidence, self-respect, and legal skill to make her a role model for women, heroes, and lawyers. As for her struggles, they’re just as eternal as any hero’s, but since literally no one expects her to match or beat Hulk at being Hulk, they are much more grounded in relatable, day-to-day life. Balancing work, a social life, relationships, giving her clients the best legal representation possible, staying in shape (believe it or not, still important even as a Hulk), and it never ends. As for her super struggles, there will unfortunately always be those who see her as a monster, a freak, and a menace. That said, she’s in a better position to prove such bigots wrong than most. Her record is cleaner than most heroes, her discipline is inspiring, she’s highly educated, a widely respected legal professional, and she’s invulnerable to most conventional and unconventional weapons. She is a strong, confident, independent woman who is unfathomably difficult to put down.

My stance on this Old vs New She-Hulk argument is that muscles and strength are not nearly as important as character. Making her stronger and/or more like Hulk is missing what makes She-Hulk most interesting. Moreover, we already have plenty of superhero media that’s all about fighting supervillains, saving the world, punching things really hard, etc. I’d love another series like Jessica Jones or the first season of Daredevil that gave us a different take on being a super. The intriguing worlds of private investigation and law, placing emphasis on characters instead of superpowers, dealing with non-super threats, and finding a place where you belong. I hope we get something like that. In the event Marvel/Disney decide to lean more towards the stronger, angrier, bigger She-Hulk, who knows? Maybe they’ll finally figure out how to make a good live action Hulk. Last thing I’ll say is this, the old version wouldn’t require CGI to achieve.

*My stance on the legless leotard and over-sexualization of comic book women is thus; I kinda get where it makes logical sense to be legless if your thighs are prone to suddenly exploding with muscles and you don’t want to ruin leggings. That said, there’s no reality where that thin strap of fabric is sufficient for a superhero expecting combat. Stretchy aerobic legwear that goes all the way down is more than doable. Plus, again, it emphasizes the foresight Jennifer is able to put into her costumes to suit herself in human or She-Hulk form. As opposed to Bruce who goes through clothing like coffee paper because, uncontrollable rage monster.

[0poole]

The Best and Worst parts of past Pokemon games

I’ve watched ShayMay’s 7-hour analysis on Omega Ruby and as you’d expect it’s getting me to think about what are actually the best and worst parts of Pokemon in the past. I’m still glad he literally goes through the entire game going into both the good and the bad of the game, and I’m basically only bringing it up because of the sheer amount of effort put into it. Obviously the video was made before Sun and Moon came out so thankfully some of his quandaries have been solved, but still it’s interesting to see the on and off of certain things throughout the series. Most of the time it gets better as time goes on, but still, it feels like you could get an amazing Pokemon game just by piecing together the features of past games (even if you’d definitely need a few additions to get it perfect, if that’s even possible). 

To be honest I really am slowly falling out of favor with Sword and Shield, and it kind of makes me hope that Gamefreak can still get better. Even though the games sold like hotcakes, hopefully they have the heart to realize a ton of people didn’t really like the direction, even though it still isn’t “bad,” just worse than it feels like it should be. Even though bad direction can’t be remedied by other things, the fact that they are a multi-billion dollar franchise really makes it feel like they could afford to make it better, especially when past games did do what people wanted...

Since it’s the most relevant...

DLC/”Enhanced” Versions:

I will genuinely take DLC over “enhanced” versions any day. Even though you’d think a lot could be improved between the base versions and enhanced ones, that’s usually not the case. The only ones that truly changed the game were Black and White 2, since they were treated more like sequels. Even golden games like Platinum didn’t divert much, even if it is an objectively better version than Diamond and Pearl. Considering the games are now going to be a solid 60$ each, it would be even crazier to expect someone to buy the base and enhanced versions. Only paying 30$ for multiple expansions (at least two, could be more) with the content of said expansions being put out as a free update otherwise is a much better deal. The only people this hurts are the types who reasonably wait for the inevitable enhanced version and only buy that instead, since it’s always better, even if only a little. As far as I know, however, Pokemon is one of the only game franchises that releases enhanced versions of games soon after their release (as in, not years later when technology advances and they can profit off nostalgia), so really they’re just becoming more normal by doing this. 

Of course there’s the argument that there shouldn’t be any DLC or “enhanced” versions, and all the content of the game should be included in the base game. It would obviously be preferable to not pay for it, but as is painfully obvious, even the richest groups can still be money hungry. Considering they’re inevitably going to make one or the other, DLC is going to be the better choice overall because it’s much more expandable. You rarely got to see a substantial amount of content added on in the enhanced versions. If they made us pay 30$ for the Isle of Armor and Crown Tundra separately, that would be crazy. But, since it’s 30$ for both, they could easily insert more bits alongside the rest of the Expansion Pass, maybe allowing them to carry a game for multiple years under less resources on their part compared to trying to make a whole new game. That way, maybe they can devote even more resources to future generations and remakes. That’s all just speculation though. I’m kind of impatient, writing all this before the day it releases and when we get more info for the future, so basically just take this as my opinion the whole time before the DLC came out.

Honestly, though, I almost always fall into the camp of gamers completely misrepresenting the concept of DLC, saying they just cut off some of the content and made you pay extra for it. A few bad apples really soured the bunch in this case, because, even though Sword and Shield did feel kind of lacking in some places, saying the Isle of Armor or Crown Tundra would’ve been a seamless part of the game no matter what is just obviously wrong. The games felt “complete” in the sense that it is all they wanted it to be, and it has a clear start and end. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s unfinished. Again, obviously it would be better if it was free/included already, but that’s just a given. 

In a similar vein…

Remakes:

Basically, I love the usual formula for remakes. I actually really liked ORAS, and I feel like it improved on so much, making me actually like Hoenn as a region. Even though I played them closer to when they game out, RSE feel like a slog compared to modern stuff, especially with the lack of the physical/special split. I can definitely feel some nostalgia for the originals still, but 90% of the time I go back to those games looking for nostalgia, getting bored by the time I get to Rustburo, and turning it off. As mentioned by Shaymay, there’s still a ton wrong with it, but I’d much rather play them all the way through compared to the originals. I do still want to force myself through them eventually, though.

Heartgold and Soulsilver are widely considered to be the best games in the whole franchise, so I don’t have to say much. I’m not a Johto nut so I’m not the best at selling it, but I will say it feels so much more colorful and polished visually than the rest of Gen 4. 

Firered and Leafgreen have the same problems that make me dislike RSE, but Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee are the strange cases that make the future so uncertain. I liked them for what they were, but I swear God if they do that one more time it’s going to make the fanbase erupt. The Let’s Go formula worked for Kanto because a lot of the people playing Go are people who knew the original games but not the newer ones, making Let’s Go a good entry point with mostly familiar territory and slightly dumbed down gameplay. It may work again if they do a Let’s Go in Johto, but if they do it for Sinnoh, since it’s the next one on the chopping block, it’s going to fall insanely flat. Barely anyone who only loves Go also seriously wants to play through Sinnoh. There’s little nostalgia there, and the nostalgia with Sinnoh resides in everyone else who loves the games as they are/as they originally were. Plus, people say they’re some of the hardest games, so dumbing them down ruins part of the appeal more. Since remakes pretty much entirely profit off of nostalgia (and partially from people wanting to experience a region without the limitations of its origins) they really need to just, you know, remake the game. Same deal as any Pokemon game, just with better (if you’d call it that) graphics and modern sensibilities. Considering all remakes (IMO) look better than their originals, I don’t think we have to worry an insane amount about them looking as iffy as SwSh. I don’t think they look THAT bad already, but I definitely think they’re some of the ugliest in the series. 

I will say that I do still want remakes to happen. I’m a sucker for nostalgia, and I love seeing graphically enhanced versions of past regions. Also, my favorite region is up next, so I really just want to see what happens. I’m a shill so it can’t make me hate the originals more. Or, you know, maybe that just makes me a normal, reasonable person...

Graphics:

Obviously we just want texture quality, model quality, etc. But, I think there’s something to be talked about with the overall art style.

I’m not gonna lie, I was kinda into the chibi-esque models of X/Y and ORAS. It did feel like it trivialized the more serious characters, like the villains and major legendaries, as they looked too cute, so it’s probably for the best if we stick to “normal” proportions. It felt weird when I first saw Sun and Moon, but I got used to it. I always wanted to make my character look as cute as possible so the chibi style helped with that, but I have gotten some good results from Sword and Shield. 

For character customization (if it even counts as “graphics”) I think Sword and Shield really hit the nail on the head. I’m kinda biased, because Moon and Ultra Moon had a really shitty shade of purple as their designated “purple” clothing, and SwSh really got my favorite shade of it right. I do think it’s great to have one style of clothing under different, generally standardized colors. But, I definitely think we need more body types. Like, one of the main reasons I play as a girl in games like this is that the boy character doesn’t even look like me anyway, so there’s really no good reason to play either. Even if it’s just one separate character option for each gender, like a Skinny male/”Round” male/Skinny female/”Round” female I’d be fine. Obviously I’d want some character sliders at some point, like pretty much every other game with character customization does, but I can settle for one more generation. The alts could even be more shoehorned rivals like in X/Y, so they basically have the design cut out for them.

One weird graphical thing I want brought back is the little circular platform your Pokemon lands on in a battle. For some reason, I really liked that. It does make the battle feel more in tune with the overall environment without it, but sometimes the battle fields look really bland and flat without it. I’d at least want the floor to be designed in a way to look like there are devoted spots for each Pokemon to stand on, even if it’s not a separate thing like in X/Y. It just feels more satisfying. Not really a big deal though, since I’ve been able to ignore it for this long.

The big thing is animations. I am getting extremely tired of the X/Y models. That’s 3 generations so far that use them, and some of them aren’t even good. I’ll never hesitate to drive this point into the ground, but I really wish Pokemon like Xatu, Charizard, Dragonite, and Salamence are permanently floating/flying in air. If it isn’t obvious, this is the way it is because of Sky Battles in X/Y, since they didn’t want to do extra work for the Pokemon permanently suspended in air. The problem is that those four Pokemon (and probably many others) really don’t feel like they are supposed to be in the air 24/7. According to their official art and sprites, they’re all on the ground. Xatu especially was made to look super tall and stout with its geometric wings flatly put on his torso, like the totem pole it’s supposed to be. In the air, it basically just hovers with his wings out, and for some reason it looks like there’s a large gust of wind keeping it afloat. It looks really weird. Salamence is also in the same boat, since its wings are so weird and not wing-like that making it constantly fly just looks so unnatural. Mega Salamence was at least designed to look like it’s supposed to be flying, but normal Salamence really should just rest on the ground. He’s too fat to be permanently lifted by his weird wings. Charizard and Dragonite aren’t as severe, since both are clearly shown to be otherwise super capable of flight, but they do feel better on their feet. I remember watching TyranitarTube’s series on one of the Extreme Randomizer hacks of the game, and in there somehow they made a Dragonite use it’s Amie/Refresh animation of sitting still on its feet in battle. It seriously felt so much better to look at, instead of this giant, poofy dragon being carried by its comically small wings. Basically, the way you should tell whether to keep them on the ground is based on the official art/sprites. That is the way the designers intended them to be depicted, so that’s the way they should be. Some exceptions that I’m actually fine with are pretty much all the regional birds, except Unfezant. They all look pretty decent flying, since flying’s basically all they do… Even Swellow, who has the same strange gust of wind as Xatu, feels more fitting like that because it seems so much more aerodynamic. 

Apart from that, I just wish they were at least a little different. I’m not super against the muted colors they have compared to the sprites, but I wouldn’t be against more saturation. Considering how much work was put into all the different animations of the battles, Refresh, and both walking AND running animations, I unfortunately don’t think they’re going to change any time soon unless they explicitly say they’re going to change them for quality improvement. I would say the Pokemon from Gen 6 up are still pretty fine, since they were more meant for 3D.

As for battles, one of my favorite Pokemon games is, in fact, Pokemon Battle Revolution on the Wii. Not only was it super Sinnoh-focused, but it had multiple body types (even if I still look like none of them) with character customization for all, and great graphics for the time. People always look to it after citing the lacking Double Kick animation from SwSh, saying how animated the models were and how they liked the Pokemon actually running up to their target when using a physical attack. I will say that the model quality for a lot of them were still kind of iffy, and that some of the animations were a little too much. Specifically Pidgeotto, who was on one of the rental cards, was super energetic so as to seem a bit crazy, and felt a bit low-poly for the otherwise high quality of the environments and humans. However, going back to such a formula would be extremely welcome. I’m totally fine with the Pokemon not running up to their targets, but I wouldn’t be mad to see it put in, especially since the walking and running animations are already in the game. They would need to be balanced in terms of speed, though, since some of the animations in PBR felt really, really slow with that animation in there. Plus, some moves just need speed, like Quick Attack. 

In terms of the move animations themselves, I do think some of the water effects in PBR felt too realistic compared to the rest of everything. Also, people say Double Kick looked bad in SwSh (like it ever looked good), but a hell of a lot of Fighting type animations in PBR were literally just the Pokemon walking up to their target, smacking them with nondescript flashes, and that’s it. So many of them could hardly be pieced apart depending on whether they were kicks, punches, or whatever. It would’ve been better either way if they put the physical move attack animation in for Double Kick, but PBR has its fair share of shitty move animations too. Moves like Seismic Toss looked fucking insane though, and I loved it. Seismic Toss specifically is the true test of move animation quality. 

Also, it’s kinda irrelevant to anything, but I could totally get down with the Announcer from PBR returning for major battles like Gym battles or League battles. He was so much fun, even if a bit repetitive. All you need for that is a setting to turn him off, and bam. He’s a true classic.

More generally, though, I think Sword and Shield is a seriously mixed bag of graphical quality. I give the SwSh haters a lot of flack, but the one thing I 100% agree with is the texture of the trees from the Wild Area. They are god awful, even if it was in a game a decade ago. I seriously don’t know how they messed that up, since you can download better bark textures for free on the internet. Surely someone at Gamefreak could’ve done better there. If this was just a random tree in the background of some random route, then who cares, right? But no, this is practically every single tree in the Wild Area, the biggest selling point for the region and the game, where you would always spend the most time. You see so many of these trees everywhere, and they look horrible. I also hate the look of the berry trees, since they don’t seem to use the same lighting effects as everything else (just a guess though), but even apart from that the batch of lighter leaves on top of the bottom ones just looks so artificial. It looks as if they dumped a sphere of leaves on top of another sphere of leaves, like it was ice cream. Maybe some trees in the real world look like that, but sometimes it’s an artist’s job to take what sucks about reality to make it better for fiction. 

On the other hand, I think locations like Motostoke look genuinely amazing. The brick textures are pretty good (compared to the tree), and all the colors and shapes of the place look really good. Also, when they go into full-on cutscene mode, the models, scenery, and everything else really shine. Obviously I’m not the king of all visual media, but it’s just weird to see that. It’s hard to compare to past games, because everything else was either 2D or on the 3DS, which wasn’t as powerful. Even though the Wii is definitely less powerful than the Switch, it doesn’t really count since there’s infinitely less content to worry about in PBR. Much more of the work could’ve gone into the graphics. Really, there doesn’t feel like there’s any excuse unless crunching is involved on the business side of things, which I really hope isn’t an issue for their sake. I would honestly love to see them announce that they’re taking a year or two off to devote themselves fully to a new generation, instead of trying to keep a yearly schedule. Something something Miyamoto quote something something.

Stylistically, it’s also a mixed bag, but at least this time it’s all just subjective. It feels like a lot of the game is meant to be somewhat blobbed together in some ways, like its a painting meant to be looked at from afar. It feels like there aren’t major outlines for things. Specifically with the Pokemon, they don’t have that outline they’ve had for the 2 generations before. It’s never been a big deal, and I really hate how low quality the outline made the models feel, so I don’t really know which style I want. Even though it’s still decent, I feel like most 3D models made to have a super notable outline on them look a little funky sometimes with it, so I don’t know if I want that, but without it they just don’t feel as solid. I really just don’t know there. 

Music:

It feels like, even if a franchise is kinda iffy, the music is still consistently top tier. Like, no one thinks Sonic games have objectively bad music, even if they don’t like it. If they do, they’re just wrong. Pokemon’s the same, so thankfully this isn’t a test of which past game had the highest quality music. I do think the Wild Battle theme in SwSh does feel like it has a weird melody, but that is super outclassed by universally acclaimed bangers like the Slumbering Weald, and the battle themes of Marnie, Bede, Oleana, and the Battle Tower. Those aren’t just the best the generation has to offer, they’re seriously amazing themes. 

Back in Gen 7, we have the Kahuna Battle, all themes of Team Skull and the Aether Foundation, Lillie’s theme, the Ultra Beasts (which might be more contentious but I like it) and Hau’oli City at night. In Gen 6, I at least liked the themes of Laverre City, Team Flare, and ESPECIALLY the Xerneas/Yveltal battle theme. Don’t even get me started about Pokemon Battle Revolution. I could go on and on, but I at least want to spotlight ORAS here because they knocked it out of the park with Archie and Maxie’s battle theme. It was the perfect drop, because the intro felt super muted and boring, and I was afraid they completely snubbed it, but the drop completely blew me away, and absolutely perfected the theme with the crazy trumpets Hoenn is known for. Also, Zinnia’s theme is amazing, as well as many other themes that are just improvements over the originals. The one thing I’m semi-iffy on is the Regi theme, an amazing theme for my favorite trio, but I never think anyone really makes it feel as lumbering and deep as it should, considering what it’s supposed to represent. The beat is arranged as it should, but it never feels punchy enough for me. 

I’m really just praising the music here. Frankly, I see no reason to think the music is getting any worse.

Difficulty/EXP Share:

They’re basically the same thing, at least according to Gamefreak.

I always keep the EXP share on, but I do think that making it a permanent addition to the game was a major mistake. As explained in Shaymay’s video, it actually increases the overall experience you gain in battle, at least before. That seems absurd to make a permanent addition (although they likely changed it in SwSh because of that). I honestly just use it because I’m not into a challenge in games, but it should definitely be optional, if for no other reason than to be a bootleg difficulty slider. However, What about the difference between the Gen 6+ version and previous versions?

I think it’s easy. Make it like pre-Gen 6, but give you multiple shares. So, if you want to train up two underleveled Pokemon, make it so you don’t have to swap it between them. That way, if you really want to just spread the EXP thin, you can give one to everyone you have, and that’s that. Also, I think it should perfectly split the EXP, not adding anything onto it. If everyone on your team has one and you get 120 EXP, that’s 20 EXP for everyone. Of course, I do actually love the mechanic of being able to switch the share holder in to give them a disproportionately larger amount of EXP compared to everyone else. It just doubles the effectiveness of switch training, and makes it better for when you want to train them up but specifically not the higher level Pokemon you’re using to fight.

Some part of me wants to keep my precious easy mode in, but then I realize… Just make actual difficulty differences. Just give us a choice. Even if it’s just a “How well do you know the Pokemon world?” with a “I know all about it/I’m a bit unsure” text box in the beginning. In the harder variant, tutorials will be skipped automatically, trainers will have higher AI, and better teams. However, I don’t think higher levels is a perfect foil, because that can just be beat with grinding, and grinding is boring. Also, I’d have to guess the main reason why Gamefreak didn’t do this in the first place is that trading Pokemon would differ a bit between difficulties with different level curves, although apart from it just sounding like a bad thing I’m struggling to think of a genuine reason why it is. But, for the sake of playing, grinding sucks. It’s not fun, and I honestly think you shouldn’t just bump up levels and call it difficulty, because you don’t actually need skill to beat a higher level, just a better level and maybe RNG. But, if you actually had to effectively train a team of more than six, with Pokemon you swap out depending on your opponent, you would actually need to think of how you play the game. I think the main reason Pokemon games are so easy is that you can basically choose whatever you want and do almost whatever and still win. Some fights, as far as my playstyle goes, are still decently challenging because I just choose what Pokemon I like and not as much what’s good (unless something genuinely just sucks), and those battles, even though I would probably get annoyed at losing over and over, feel so much more rewarding to beat. And, of course, that’s only like a few major fights. I’ve never had any real trouble with trainers. I only think I’ve had a bit of trouble with the elite trainers in Let’s Go because I always try to use my lowest level Pokemon first to level them up, and keep my team at completely even levels. If I always just switched in the foil to my opponent, which I inevitably had, I would almost never lose a single Pokemon, mostly because of the “switch” battle setting.

But of course that begs the question of Pokemon being balanced for children and inexperienced players. I know way too much about this game, so obviously it’s a piece of cake for me no matter what, and what I want is supposedly what would frustrate everyone else. But… again, just put in the choice. People can choose whether they want to be challenged, or if they just want to play Pokemon, and if they choose wrong that’s on them, not anyone else. They could just reset the game and try again on an easier difficulty. It’s crazy to have to vouch for this, since it’s a staple in pretty much every other game in existence. Even in my casual state, I want to play a harder Pokemon. I want to test myself. Online competition is a bit much for me, but the AI is too little. Even in me replaying Pearl right now, I’m trying to use weirder and weaker Pokemon than I usually use for difficulty, and even that game was mostly a cakewalk. I’m only stuck at the Elite Four because I was somehow super underleveled. In the generation where I experience the AI switching out the most, they still just do that at random and keep in certain Pokemon that get completely walled by what I have out, only for me to stall them to death. AI definitely should switch out (and I honestly can’t remember it happening once since Gen 5, if even then) so if anything, just give them a more solid switching ability. Considering we have the opportunity to switch in whatever we want when they are about to send out something, they really need to take advantage of the power of switching.

Gyms are a big piece of difficulty that falls apart 90% of the time. The gym puzzles are rarely hard, with only a few notable exceptions requiring major thought, like the Circhester, Snowbelle, Snowpoint, and Sootopolis gyms. See a pattern? Why the heck to Ice types/themes get the worst resistances yet the best gym puzzles? Otherwise, if you’re not just fighting trainers (which you were going to do anyway) you’re bashing your head against a wall until something sticks. The Trials of SM/USUM were universally a joke, and were it not for the Totem fight they would’ve actually made me mad by how easy they are, considering they had the opportunity to revamp the whole system and knock it out of the park.

As for the Gym Leader, assuming we have to stick with the idea that they can only use one type still, they really have to cover their bases. Like, a Water gym leader would really have to have Flying type moves or Pokemon to counteract the easy Grass weakness, or something. You can’t get to the top with just one single type and nothing else. I do kind of think a master with no specific type speciality should only be reserved for the Champion, since it makes them more special, and because it seems like any old trainer can become one if they beat the last one, meaning it’s illogical for too many of them to have one special type. I can appreciate the choice philosophies of the Gyms like Raihan and Volkner, and Flint of the Elite Four, where they do specialize in one type, but they have a lot of different Pokemon involved who only have moves of that type. It still feels consistent, but also more varied. Also, I love the 1v2 dynamic of Totem fight. Not only does it blatantly put you at a disadvantage, but since the battles aren’t explicitly type based, they can put together some seriously unique strategies, like the Sunny Day Castform partner to the Totem Lurantis. It’s literally the most basic plan you can formulate, but it sure as hell made that one of the hardest early boss fights in the series, at least for me. It was pretty good stuff. Too bad other bosses like the Ultra Necrozma fight was just kind of cheap, with a +1 to all stats and super high level… Better than nothing though.

Versions:

I get that it’s a staple of the franchise, but I really hate version exclusives/differences. They’re just dumb. Specifically the differences of Black 2 and White 2 pissed me off the most, because guess what? They did have difficulty options! But… they were version exclusive. Like White Kyurem more than Black Kyurem? Or, maybe Reuniclus is your favorite Pokemon? (not bitter) Well, too bad. You’re only allowed the expressly easier mode of the game, which you only unlock after beating it normally????? That’s just stupid. I’d sort of be okay with it if you unlocked easy mode after normal mode, then unlocking hard mode after beating easy mode (like how I thought it was before I looked it up), but limiting stuff like that is just ridiculous. I mean, it’s dumb to have to unlock an easy mode after beating the normal game to begin with. I’m honestly considering trying to beat easy mode without evolving any Pokemon though. Self-imposed difficulty is fun sometimes, but yeah…

Also, the differences of Sun and Moon also are dumb. Like playing in the day, but like Lunala more? Maybe Purple is your all-time favorite color and you want to wear it? Well, too bad. Go ahead and flip your 3DS’s internal clock around, messing up all other time based games you play. It’s a gimmick that transcends Mega Evolution, Z-Moves, and Dynamax.

Now, there’s a completely new problem: Some people bought the wrong expansion pass for their game. Because there were two versions, people literally just wasted money on absolutely nothing. To be fair, those people are blind idiots, but still. I really just want one version. Please.

The whole semi-in-grouping that happens when the version exclusive Pokemon are first revealed is kinda fun, but 90% of the time people have to settle for a few Pokemon they like and a few they don’t. For example, I bought Sword specifically because I like Zacian more, and the legendaries would be much harder to come by than other version exclusives. In the meanwhile, I preferred practically every other version exclusive over Sword’s, including but not limited to my boy Reuniclus. I don’t use old Pokemon in newer generations anyway, but it still sucks to have to choose like that.

It was obviously meant to give people much more to look for, since they physically can’t get some Pokemon, and have them interact with others to get them. The only problem is that we just have the Internet now. It doesn’t help to just ask someone online for a trade for a version exclusive. It’s just an extra stepping stone that really isn’t that fun to deal with.

I was originally going to say that the games/console cost more so less people would buy them, but considering SwSh absolutely knocked it out of the park, overselling even the highest selling games from the past, that’s clearly not an issue. My sister even bought Let’s Go Pikachu after buying Let’s Go Eevee for herself, since we both initially got Eevee. Thankfully she seems relatively into buying the games now, so we can coordinate and get different versions. That’s how I was able to complete my Pokedex for the first time in Sword (although obviously there’s less Pokemon to find). I think she even bought a separate Sword version for herself too… Is this what the average consumer is like?

Honestly all of this is just sort of subjective because really it’s not a big deal, but it would be so much less of a deal and make the games much more perfect and reasonable story wise if they just used one version. For example, Circhester is clearly an Ice-themed location, but in Sword you face a Rock gym leader, instead of the Ice one. And, the opposite is true in Stow-on-side, because Sword has the more logical gym with the boxing gloves punching you around and the tough city that feels as Fighting as Fighting could be without being a literal dojo. But, in Shield you face some Ghost kid. To be fair, I do like that version exclusivity is bleeding into some of the characters too, so if there is to be version exclusives at all let there be version exclusive characters, but it would just feel so much better to have it all sorted into one place. Also, to consider past installments, Ho-oh is clearly more important to the overall plot of the world than Lugia is, as shown by Ho-oh always being an important, mystical lore figure in the Anime and such, while Lugia is just like “Wow, there’s Lugia! So powerful!” Thankfully the plot didn’t entirely revolve around them, but it could’ve if they just focused on Ho-oh. 

Story:

Pokemon has definitely had its fair share of dumb stories, which is excusable because it’s not actually the focus of the game, but it doesn’t hurt to have.

You obviously can’t talk story without talking about Black and White. Also, you really can’t talk a Pokemon story without talking about the evil Team in each game, because they’re basically the entire motor for plot. Still, though, Team Plasma is easily the best Team in the franchise for story purposes. The biggest thing is that they seem like the most reasonable team, making them seem like people who are just so into their ideals that it looks like a cult. Also, in B2W2, they actually split up into the friendly division of Plasma, where they actually carry out their goals of wanting Pokemon to be happy and free, while Neo-Plasma does all the Team Rocket-level shenanigans that mess everything up. Not only is it just reasonable, but it answers a question that comes with the overall concept of the franchise: How can Pokemon want to battle for the sake of humans, etc? It doesn’t make sense, and naturally someone in the world would take that to the extreme when they realized it. It also makes sense why the grunts are so hellbent on wreaking havoc around Unova, because they are each led to truly believe what they are doing is right for the world. Other villains like Archie and Cyrus are just like “humans are bad, let’s destroy them” which is like a lite version of this idea, but it feels almost too supervillain-y to take seriously, and the grunts just feel like henchmen. Plasma feels just real enough, with somewhat level-headed people like N making it seem like they’re almost not crazy. 

People always say Team Rocket is the best, but even though their motives are so simple enough so as to seem real and good story-wise, they do feel like they don’t really add anything to the overall idea of Pokemon. At the time it was just “Pokemon are strong so bad people can use strong Pokemon for bad” which makes sense, but really doesn’t feel like it extends beyond that. Don’t get me wrong, I would say they’re objectively second best (because subjectively Galactic is my #1) but I do think Plasma is better.

Since they’re the most recent, Team Yell is the most nothing out of this list. That only makes them second worst, above Team Flare, who felt like they were trying to do something big but fell flat. Team Yell as the resident “evil Team” feels weird, because they do almost nothing. They are only similar to Skull on the surface, that being all rough-and-tumble teenager types, as underneath them being a toxic fanbase is somewhat interesting, but they, again… just felt like nothing. The plot wasn’t even close by to them, like with Skull was, being tied in with the Aether Foundation. They’re just there to be goons and go away. At least they did lead to the first Dark type gym leader, but again… their leader is a Gym leader. We would’ve seen him no matter what he did, so it feels less interesting. I do want the Team to actually do something.

The problem is that, since Plasma already did good, how do you do something that’s original but still good? To be honest, I want it to involve Foundations, like a morally good alternative archetype to the evil Team. Our first run-in with a Foundation was led astray by a crazy leader, but it seems like they’re still good overall, so I at least want to see more of them. Maybe instead of the Team searching for world domination by using the box legendary, maybe you and the Foundation have to search for the box legendary so they can help you defeat the Team, who may or may not have the third/another legendary on their side, and you have to prove yourself to it to get it to trust you. Sort of like Sword and Shield, but more involved. Zacian and Zamazenta just sort of appear when things go bad, and that’s it. You just hear stories about them before that. That’s at least better structure-wise, although the motives and themes would still have to be dealt with. There are so many possibilities there it’s hard to choose. 

One thing, though: I definitely believe that Pokemon was never even close to an open world game, and people thinking the new games are too linear compared to the old ones just have rose tinted glasses on. Kanto had bad crossing over, where you’d sometimes find yourself severely overleveled when interacting with a story event, and beyond that all other games were pretty linear too, with only a few slight special, optional areas that aren’t involved with the plot. Of course, I still think the game would benefit from being open world. Some games don’t have to be open world, and that makes them feel sort of empty, but Pokemon as an idea is exactly perfect for that. They were toying with the idea a bit with the Wild Area, and I do think if they really went crazy with that idea it could be fun. Everyone always wants to compare it to Breath of the Wild, but I do love how seamless everything is in that game. Even with the enemies popping up out of the grass/flying down from the air/just romping in a set area like Pokemon would. Gym leaders could just use different teams based on how many badges you have, like how they imply it works in that Pokemon Origins series. Then, you might be able to scale up the Pokemon you can find too that way, like with the Wild Area. BotW’s story was very light, but if you just either use a quest system/map markers you can still manage a decent story in an open world. Plus, Pokemon has a ton of side quests anyways, like all the ghost quests they always seem to put in. You can literally “get” the quest, get distracted, and completely forget you were even doing any sort of quest because they don’t remind you in any way. Side quests could even get you extra doses of EXP for your team, giving them a use.

The Gimmick:

I don’t want every generation to have a gimmick. Ideas are severely limited in that front, and when everyone’s special, no one is. 

Mega Evolution was kinda cool, as it improved on old Pokemon without making them another part of an evolutionary chain. Also, it lets some Pokemon get different forms with entirely different strategies to them (even if they’re version exclusive…) But, as someone who plays Pokemon for the monster designs themselves, I actually kinda don’t like it. No, not because Mega designs are bad, but because they completely trump the designs they evolve from. For example, Mawile isn’t just “Mawile” anymore. It’s more of a “Not-mega Mawile.” It feels so much less complete now that it has a form on top of it that isn’t permanent. Same goes for starters like Sceptile, who feels kind of boring compared to its Mega. It always sucks when a Pokemon you like evolves into something you don’t like (Popplio for me) and you have to deal with the fact that, even if you like a Pokemon, you aren’t supposed to keep it like that, and it’s brought down because of it. I mean, I guess this is all just personal. Obviously it’s easy to like an early evolution, but it feels so much better to like a final evolution. Since Megas are both temporary in battle, not available outside of battle, and limited to the very late game usually, liking a Mega feels kinda pointless for in-game purposes, where you interact with your Pokemon the most. Plus, for Pokemon like Mawile, you’re using an “incomplete” Pokemon for as long as you don’t have the right Mega stone. It’s obviously fine when all your other Pokemon are incomplete as well, but yeah… Just kinda sucks sometimes. Plus, anything achieved by Mega Evolutions could just as easily be achieved by normal evolutions. The only issue is Pokemon like Beedrill not being able to evolve again, and Pokemon like the starters or legendaries who are already too good to get another stage. I feel like weak, 3rd stage Pokemon like Beedrill deserve that kind of treatment the most, but no one else. If they can evolve normally, evolve them normally, and if they’re already too good, just let them be.

Then there’s Z-moves, which solves one problem of Mega-Evolution: All Pokemon can get involved. No matter what, your Pokemon can unleash super cool but sometimes questionably named moves. And, apart from new animations, the special Z-moves aren’t so insanely preferable to the normal ones. It’s cool, but if every Pokemon gets to use them, it kinda gets old after a while. Also, it’s a one-time use, so if you fuck it up it’s wasted. It’s definitely not perfect, but I will say I love the special Z-move animations, mainly because it’s not just Pokemon doing stock animations for a quick little attack. They animated that Pokemon specifically for this attack, which is basically a cutscene, and it always looks better. It is a bit strange, though, that even though Z-moves are seemingly named after Zygarde, it doesn’t even get a special Z-move of its own. That dude really got the shaft when it comes to 3rd legend attention...

Now we have Dynamax and Gigantamax. I just want to say that, when it first was revealed that you can turn your Pokemon into Kaiju I was extremely hyped. More hyped than I had any right to be. Considering nothing else, Dynamax definitely is the winner in terms of visual concept. Not only does it just look cool, but I love how Gym stadiums are designed specifically to accommodate them. It’s a nice touch of worldbuilding (even though it’s basically necessary). Unfortunately… It’s easily the Jack of all trades, master of none in terms of gameplay. It’s like Mega Evolution in how you change the appearance and power of your Pokemon, and it’s like Z-moves because they have super powerful moves with special effects. Sounds alright I guess, but I really just wish they kept the previous two gimmicks instead of just making a new one that checks them both off. Also, Gigantamax actually annoys me. They try to make it seem like your Pokemon changes, but the vast majority of them either look worse or hardly change at all. Specifically, Copperaja looks like an absolute joke, even though normal Copperaja is one of my favorites of the region. But, ones like Hatterene, Corviknight, Garbodor, and Grimmsnarl hardly look any different at all. Even Appultun and Flapple have the exact same Gigantamax. Who cares? Even their moves have almost exactly the same animations as their type’s counterparts, with a slightly different particle effect. It’s so much less interesting than they make it seem, and it has all the problems of liking Megas over their base, but worse, since they’re more temporary and only allowed in certain areas. Plus, Gigantamax isn’t even a thing possible with all members of a single species. Obviously now they’re introducing a way to change that, but at that point why not just do it Mega style? It’s not even that much better, but there’s so much more work in it. It’s like less rare shinies. It did bring about a decent event in the games, those being the Max Raid Battles, which both have good rewards and good challenge to them. I don’t have friends so they suck for me, but with friends it looks awesome.

I feel like the worst part is that they probably are just going to retcon these gimmicks in the future, like they did with the Pokedex. It makes sense, but each thing was made to be such a massive deal in their respective regions, it feels lame that they’re just gone now. 

But, oh my god. You have no idea. Regional Variants are the best thing to happen to Pokemon since, I dunno, whatever. They’re amazing, and something that should never leave the franchise ever. Like a Kantonian form more than an Alolan form? Sure. It’s still there with all its power, it just has a different style in this region. That is not only biologically logical, but it brings back interest in a Pokemon without outclassing the classics. Plus, now it feels like every single Pokemon has a possibility to shine that is both permanent and preserving of the original. I just can’t get enough of it. Then Sword and Shield introduced the idea of Regional Evolutions, which can be both plain evolutions and split evolutions from the normal form like with Cofagrigus and Runerigus, meaning the possibilities are endless. Then, even further, regional LEGENDARIES. It doesn’t make sense lore-wise but who cares, the new birds look awesome as all hell and I actually like them now. It’s so perfect, I don’t want anything more than this in future games. I would kill for some Sinnoh variants of post-gen 4 Pokemon in the remakes. Hell, I hope Sinnoh gets revamped with a ton of different options across the later generations so it feels significantly different from the originals. 

As for things like Primal Reversion, I honestly don’t even know. It’s even less significant than Gigantamax, but since it has more interesting lore I’m sort of fine with it. I do hope they use it for other legends too, especially since Palkia and Dialga are just asking for it, with their respective orbs, and Dialga already having the “Primal” title elsewhere. And yes, I know he’s called “Dark Dialga” in Japanese. 

If I may be so bold, I think a neat gimmick that can be both unique, interesting, and completely alter the strategies of battle, would be some sort of temporary type inversion. That is, everything going out of and coming into the inverted Pokemon will have reverse effectiveness. It’s like the fringe little Inverse battle you can go through in X/Y, but turned into a mechanic that’s inserted into normal battles. Visually, it would give the Pokemon a negative look, as in inverting their colors and shading. I don’t see how this could single out certain Pokemon in a special way, like with a form change or anything, but maybe there could be one specific Pokemon that has an ability that does something special when it inverts. Maybe items could be made for a special use too. I was sort of half-using it for a fan region I’m half-devoted to that will likely not be a full fledged idea, but I do like it.

Roadblocks/HMs:

I’m entirely fine with the way things are now, where you just get the HMs as key items you use whenever you want, but I can sympathize with the small contingent of people who like using their Pokemon to traverse the world, instead of anything else. I definitely think anyone who prefers HMs beyond that reason is an absolute lunatic, but I think there is some sort of a point to be made, and I think a combo of Let's Go and Sun and Moon have the answer. It is so much more fun to ride your Pokemon around than it is to get a bike (and put on some seriously ugly clothing, mind you), and I think Let's Go with giving you the option to ride your Pokemon instead of using a bike is seriously fun. I used a Rapidash almost exclusively for that purpose in my run of that game. Who the hell wouldn’t want to ride a Rapidash, assuming you weren’t going to catch fire? Plus, it’s YOUR Rapidash. Ride Pokemon in Sun and Moon were still pretty good, because they served functions you wouldn’t normally expect from HMs, like Tauros being both your bike replacement and Rock Smash, while Stoutland is a dowsing rod. It does get a bit weird when you “ride” a Machamp just so it can push rocks for you, but it’s better than forcing you to teach one of your team members a normal type move at the very end of the game since you absolutely need it to move on, and having to keep it until you can fly back to the move deleter. Honestly, if you could just delete HMs on the fly, they would be so much more acceptable. Still would be worse than what we have now tho.

Basically, I think Pokemon should have inherent HM abilities in them. That is, every single Tauros you catch can smash rocks, and every single Machamp you catch can push rocks. Each Pokemon would either be capable or incapable of a task, and you only need that species to go through it. That way, you’re both using your own Pokemon, while also not limiting their moves. It also makes it easy to tell why birds like Starly shouldn’t be able to carry you and fly you around, while birds like Staraptor can. I also think any road blocks using Rock Smash or Cut should be entirely optional, and for secrets only. In order to make Fly a limited option, maybe only fully evolved Fly-logical Pokemon can use it, so you can’t just fly somewhere in the early game. But, another thing: if you can fly early, so what? It’s not like you get extra options, you only can go back to places you’ve already been to. Even though it doesn’t make sense logically, it’s a very fair piece of game design that really doesn’t have a super obvious reason why it’s limited to the middle few gyms. If you have a strong bird that can pick you up, you obviously worked enough to get some convenience. 

But then, what would be a roadblock to keep you from going too far? A horde of dancing men? Honestly, that’s just one of those things fixed by my open world idea. Maybe some areas can be super strong so as to tell you that you shouldn’t be there, and maybe implement the idea of the Wild Area where you can’t catch the strong-looking Pokemon, but apart from that make most of the world scale up with you. Surely some areas would be slightly higher leveled then the rest, though, for the sake of variety. The Wild area does get a bit stale when literally everything you encounter is exactly lvl 60. Obviously there could be some pointless story-focused roadblocks that only clear when you progress, because that is how it is in real life. You can’t just walk into some business’ office unless you have business there. Of course, you can’t exactly walk into random strangers’ houses either, but still. 

I do want to praise ORAS again because the Soar feature with the Latis was extremely cool. It was like Ride Pokemon but using the objectively coolest possible HM to control. If they sort of nerfed the Fly mechanic and made it so you did have to ride your Pokemon and fly them there like the Latis I wouldn't mind that at all. Although, surely some other people would...

Other Bits:

- I still think that, even though having every Pokemon in the game would be great, I think if it can improve the game elsewhere I wouldn’t mind them saving some space. The problem is that Sword and Shield really wasn’t the best way to suggest it would vastly improve anything. I’ve gone on ad nauseam elsewhere about that so bleh

- I love seeing Pokemon in the overworld. I do think it would benefit from the Let’s Go treatment, where you can at least see if a Pokemon is shiny or not. Either way, it gives them so much more personality, like how some charge head-first at you while some walk up and casually examine you.

- I don’t really care too much about Pokemon following you to be honest. It would obviously be preferred over the alternative, but I’m not gonna riot if it doesn’t happen. It did give a lot of personality I didn’t expect in Lets Go, like Bellsprout being so darn speedy.

- I could probably make a whole nother giant rant about the overall designs of Pokemon but needless to say I’m fine with it overall. I do sort of wish they’d do something else with the starters though, since I haven’t genuinely loved a starter since Gen 4. Honestly Chesnaught was pretty close, but I still get the urge to replace him with something more interesting. Outside of them, though, I think things are going good. Some are duds, but some are bangers like Corvinight, Grimmsnarl, Hatterene, Frosmoth, and a bunch of others which I could easily list but this is supposed to be succinct comments so

- There definitely has to be some sort of endgame content, but everyone already knows that. Seriously though, what if the colosseums from PBR become the replacement Battle Frontier? That would be dope. Although the normal Battle Frontier would be fine too, I guess…

- PBR PBR PBR. PBR is great for it’s realistic sizes of Pokemon. If you’re going to use full-size models of humans, the Pokemon should match. Or, at least make it a little more true to reality. Yes, Wailord is too damn small.

[menswearmusings]

After You Buy All the Essentials, Then What? My Personal List Moving Forward

Switching focus from the urgent to the important is a vital practice in the business world. Have you ever worked somewhere where it’s clear that instead of thinking critically about the core of the organization’s mission for ways to grow and improve, the focus is instead on whatever the newest, shiniest idea is (or often, whatever the latest crisis is)?

I always had a sense of urgency about buying clothes, because my goal was to dress in cool tailoring every day of the week in ways that I would consider meaningfully different. But being constrained by a budget meant I had to think carefully about what I bought, so I wouldn’t end up with something because it was a great deal, only to discover I had very little use for it. So I created a list of clothes I wanted that I imagined would comprise a complete wardrobe (for my tastes and needs). That helped me stay focused on my goals when sale season started and there were so many awesome things to buy.

Now, though, having largely built that wardrobe I imagined, I tend to get distracted by the new, shiny thing much more. I’ll find some product on eBay or in a shop on sale and become obsessed with it, going back to look at it over and over again. Without that hit list of must-buys to bring myself back from the brink, I always have a creeping sense that whatever it is I end up actually purchasing is maybe the wrong choice for me and I should instead be saving that money for some other, better purchase down the road. I’ve picked all the low-hanging fruit, but I have no personal guidance for reaching higher.

So, in an effort to try and refocus myself on buying what I can consider important purchases—not just those with the urgency of desire—here’s my list of next must-haves.

(By the way, if you’re just starting out and want some help building a wardrobe from scratch, check out my “Guide to Building a Tailored Wardrobe.” In it, I explain just that—how to have the right mindset about buying clothes, plus specific advice for versatility in clothing. Check it out here.)

More cotton-linen trousers for summer

Since becoming a dad—but even before then—dress trousers in wool just don’t get much wear from me. Primarily that’s because pants need cleaning more often, and I hate dry cleaning bills. But it’s also because I prefer a silhouette that just doesn’t work with dress pants, at least in wool. Jeans or even chinos made of denim or cotton twill drape differently and thus can work in the tapered cut I prefer. My previously perfectly fitting flannel trousers with that ideal taper from Spier & Mackay are now too slim because my calves got too big. So I have to go fuller. I’m fine going with that in a drapey wool, but day to day I prefer a slimmer knee and slightly tapered opening at the hem.

This is why cotton-linen trousers exist. Cotton-linen seems to have that perfect balance of cotton’s stiffness with linen’s drape, so they hang well but are forgiving if the fit isn’t bespoke-perfect or your proportions make things difficult. Pure linen just doesn’t give off the vibe I’m looking for typically (it feels a little more louche the way it hangs and rumples than I as a person am). And other options like wool-silk-linen blends are beautiful and amazing (I’ll get those below), but what I like about cotton-linen is I can usually machine wash it myself to no ill effect. Currently I have one pair, so it’d be nice to get another 2-3 to rotate through (much as I have with flannel in the winter). My list would be: 

A second pair of off-white 

Tan / khaki

Deeper brown

Maybe a light blue or mid-navy

Options I have for buying these: Spier & Mackay’s dress trouser fit is still my best bet right now, and I’ve been told they’ll have a crop of 7 colors of cotton-linen trousers in mid-April. That said, I also just purchased some pairs from Brooks Brothers’ Red Fleece line that arrive soon, made from fabric by the same mill as Spier’s, for $37 a pair that might work, too.

A rotation of good chinos and a pair of light wash jeans that fit

Chinos are nice because they dress up or down pretty well (you can wear a tie with them without it being weird, unlike five-pocket pants, but on their own without a jacket they’re good too), and if you get them in the right fabric, they’re pretty hard-wearing.

Finding chinos that 1- don’t have stretch, 2- are made from material that’s a good mid-weight, and 3- fit the way I want is extremely difficult. You wouldn’t think so but man it’s hard to find good chinos. And finding good, faded jeans with similar qualities is likewise hard without spending $200+. That said, if I can find them, what would make my wardrobe happy would be chinos in:

Off-white

Stone

True khaki

Possibly a pair in fatigue, which is a good color when it’s too hot to wear a jacket

Options for chinos are tricky. I like the idea of what fellow menswear blogger Ian is doing with his new shop Lost Monarch; $125 is hefty for chinos, but I suppose if they fit really well and the fabric rules, the investment might be worth it. I also always forget about classic chino maker Bill’s Khakis, which was always hailed as having the highest quality back in my early Styleforum days. They introduced a number of slimmer fitting styles over the years and are still fairly easy to find on eBay. Spier & Mackay’s chinos are a great deal but each time I’ve tried them, the fit’s been off for me in some way or other. I might try them once again this spring. 

As for light wash jeans, I’ll be looking probably at American Eagle, Polo RL, Abercrombie, Banana Republic, and other mall brands. Much as I’d like to get some 3-Sixteens or even Naked and Famous, they’re hard to get ahold of where I live and trying jeans on is critical.

A dark navy blazer in both single and double breasted configurations

I have seasonally appropriate navy jackets—one is wool/cashmere for winter, and one is raw silk for summer—and last summer I added a dark blue double breasted jacket for summer as well. When I recently tried on No Man Walks Alone’s Sartoria Carrara jackettried on No Man Walks Alone’s Sartoria Carrara jacket, which was a dark navy twill, I remembered why dark navy jackets exist: they’re classy as heck. All my navy jackets are slightly lighter shades of navy, which is great, but a good, dark navy blazer brings some gravity to an outfit, looks great in the evening and dresses up very well for more formal occasions.

That said, it’s gotta be the right texture. Hopsack wool is a good option; I would also be interested in some kind of blend like wool-silk-linen or similar. I’m not a fan of mohair, so I wouldn’t do that, and the high twist fabrics are tricky because they tend to look fairly smooth, while I like a little more surface texture. Given how much I like my SuitSupply Jort blazer, I’m hoping they release a double breasted jacket that might fit the bill this spring/summer. As for single breasted, I really, really liked that NMWAxCarrara jacketNMWAxCarrara jacket, so something closer to a 3-season fabric from him would be amazing. Of course Spier & Mackay has staple hopsack wool blazers in both their Neapolitan cut and regular cut, which sold out quickly in my size.

A dark navy double breasted blazer by Ring Jacket (model 6) I tried on at The Armoury in New York City. Click the image to see the product page of this actual jacket at their site.

A pair or two of summer trousers in a nicer fabric

Cotton linen trousers and chinos are as dressy as I need them to be most of the time in my life, but it’s still nice to have a pair of classier dress trousers in summer for occasions that call for it. I’ve had gray hopsack and fresco in the past, but those were more corporate than I was looking for.

Summer is the time for levity in the color palette, so I really like the idea of a light or mid blue (maybe a petrol blue). Every time Greg at No Man Walks Alone does spring pre-orders for Rota, they offer these beautiful wool/silk/linen blend fabrics, including petrol blue in the past, and every time, I love how they look but always stopped short of ordering for various reasons. A sufficiently textured, interesting blend in a light gray would also be nice and would be better than a corporate looking fresco or tropical wool. In the swatches below, which were for this season’s Rota trouser made to order options, the blue and gray at the top hold appeal, and even that green at the bottom.

Swatches for Rita wool/silk/linen trousers From No Man Walks Alone.

Some dress shirts from Anglo-Italian

It feels like I’ve been banging on about this for years at this point, I know, but their reverse stripe OCBD is great and I need to just pull the trigger and buy it. But beyond that, Anglo’s house dress shirt model is essentially the perfect shirt: the collar shape is an ideal wide spread with no tie space and that isn’t too stiff; the fit is comfortable but not baggy; and the details are all there both quality and design-wise. The back shirring is maybe a bit out there for many people, but these shirts are meant to be worn under a jacket, which is how I’d wear them. I’d buy white first then probably their blue end-on-end and maybe the bengal stripe. They’re expensive at $175, but that’s less than other comparable Italian dress shirt companies like Finamore or Borrelli.

A couple additional pairs of suede shoes

I love suede for its versatility in dressing up or down. What I wear 95% of the time are snuff suede penny loafers, snuff suede chukkas and tan suede tassel loafers. I’m looking to get more dark brown suede, which, sorta like true dark navy blazers, brings some gravity to an outfit. My penny loafers have been through some rough times; I plan to resole them (which they badly need), but it’d be nice to have a pair that aren’t so beaten up. I prefer a sleeker last shape most of the time (not pointy, maybe almond shaped) to the round lasts you see from classic Ivy brands like Alden, which are more casual and carry a lot more of that Ivy feeling (something I’m always trying to temper with more rakish aesthetics). That said, a rounded loafer of some kind to wear strictly casually is something I’d like to get to help share the load with the other shoes. I’ve also been really into the split toe derby look the last year or so. I tried The Armoury’s on when I visited there in 2018, and really liked it. 

So, the list would be:

Dark brown suede penny loafers

Dark brown suede Chelsea boots

Brown suede split toe

Dark or mid-brown suede beef roll or similar more casual loafers

I’ve noticed that the most comfortable shoes I love wearing the most are all made by Allen Edmonds, so I’ll be looking at those for sure. The Sea Island in particular looks awesome for that casual loafer. Beckett Simonon has some suede boots and given how comfortable their shoes are, their Bolton Chelsea looks nice. Meermin of course is another option for suede boots, and they have a penny loafer that might fit the bill for me, too. Spier & Mackay’s shoe offerings look very good, including this suede penny loafer. And of course the Armoury’s split toe derby is the one I’m most looking at for that category as I’m sort of picky when it comes to split toe shoes.

So there’s my hit list moving forward. I’ve already deviated from it this season by purchasing an excellent but not-on-this-list jacket from Spier & Mackay in 100% linen by Sondrio in a mid-brown glen check pattern. It surprised me how much I loved it, so I’m letting myself deviate from the list, guilt-free. And at the end of the day, the clothing hobby is all about enjoying life anyhow, and what could be more important than than?

(Help support this site! If you buy stuff through my links, your clicks and purchases earn me a commission from many of the retailers I feature, and it helps me sustain this site—as well as my menswear habit ;-)  Thanks!)

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[iwroteinapastlife]

Artist

It’s @chlonathweek day 5 and we gettin angsty up in here~

***

“No, Chloé. Since Sabrina will be out of town for the rest of the week, you’ll have to pick a different partner for the art project.”

When he was six years old, Nathaniel’s mother had told him that life was about opportunities. Every moment was an opportunity, from the greatest of life’s changes to the smallest of life’s details. Every moment was a choice—a choice of stay or go, a choice of start or stop, a choice of do or don’t. Every choice had its consequences and it was on those consequences that human lives were decided. On those consequences that opportunities were taken.

And it was a simple fact of life, she had told him, that the consequences unknown, the opportunities left untaken, were the ones he would dwell on the most.

Perhaps it was the thought that he was sick of dwelling that brought Nathaniel to take the opportunity presented before him. That brought Nathaniel to raise his hand.

“I’ll do it.”

A general level of friendly chatter had sprouted in the class as students had begun discussing project plans, but conversation eased to halt then. He knew every set of eyes in the room was on him. His eyes were only focused on one.

“No,” she immediately said. She addressed the teacher, but those cold eyes never left him. “Madame Bustier, I’d prefer to do the project on my own.”

He tried not to let his fear show. He tried not to run from that soul-shaking gaze.

“Chloé, that would leave Nathaniel without a partner too. Plus, working with the class artist will be beneficial to your art grade.” In his peripheral, he saw Madame Bustier wave him forward. “Thank you for volunteering, Nathaniel. You can come sit next to Chloé for the rest of class.”

The twitch of her jaw. A look like murder. Then eye contact was broken and in just that split second before she turned to face forward again, Nathaniel swore he saw something more. Something painful.

If he did, it was hidden again by the time he was sitting down next to her. The rest of the class went on with their discussions, though he didn’t miss the glances of Marinette and Nino as they not-so-subtly spectated.

“What the fuck are you doing, Kurtzberg?” Chloé immediately snapped. “What do you want?”

“What’s the matter, Chloé?” he asked absently as he opened his sketch book to a new page. “I thought you’d be happy to have a partner who can do all the work for you.”

Wait. Shit. The words had slipped out almost as if reflex—fighting fire with fire. Except in this case, it was more like fighting a candle with a flamethrower.

Her jaw fell slightly ajar and her brows pinched together in fury. Her eyes though; swimming in her eyes was a splash of genuine hurt.

Chloé pressed her lips together and looked away without another word. She began gathering her supplies and throwing them in her purse. Guilt was an immediate led weight in his stomach and he knew that in his head, he would be kicking himself for many years to come for being rude to his fucking soulmate. Especially when he was actively trying to get closer to her.

“Wait, Chloé, I’m sorry.” He set his hand on her notebook just as she was reaching for it and that fed up look was on him again.

“Look, I don’t know why you wanted to be my partner and I don’t care. You’re right. You can do the project by yourself.” Even though he wasn’t holding the notebook hostage, she made a point to yank it out from under his hand. A moment later, she stood up and the school bell followed her out the door as if on cue.

He scrambled to grab his stuff and rushed out after her. She had a naturally fast walking pace, but she was definitely going faster than usual. “Chloé, wait!” She had already managed to make it to the school’s front door when he caught up to her. “Chloé!”

“Leave me alone, Kurtzberg,” she spat, still not slowing down.

“Wait!” He caught her wrist and the tips of his fingers met the exact mark that had started this all.

She spun to face him. “What!?”

He didn’t let go. He didn’t move. He was paralyzed under that icy gaze and he didn’t think this far and he didn’t know what to say but he needed to say something and, “The first time I ever spoke to you was when I defended Marinette’s floral design against you,” he blurted.

The worst possible combination of confusion and irritation. “So??”

“So…” His heart slammed against the inside walls of his chest and he knew he couldn’t turn back now. “That exact design is tattooed on the back of my left shoulder.”

At first, there was no change in her expression. It was as if her entire being had come to a screeching halt and the only thing her body knew to do was keep breathing. Then the wrinkles in her forehead softened the slightest bit as understanding took confusion’s place. Irritation, however, remained steady.

“Okay, and?”

He blinked. “And? Chloé, we’re—,”

“Soulmates?” she cut him off. “Yeah, I know. Newsflash, Kurtzberg,” she slipped from his grasp and held up her hand, putting his signature on display, “Your art gets spread around the school like wildfire. I’ve known for years.”

Years.

“Why didn’t you—?”

“Tell you? Are you serious? How was I supposed to tell you when you hated me from the start? When I had to watch you date someone else for two years, call someone else your soulmate for two fucking years? How was I supposed to tell you!?”

That cold fury didn’t budge, but now that hint of hurt he had seen earlier was as present as the guilt weighing heavy in his chest. Seeing her then, an avalanche of understanding came crashing down over his head. He doubted the pain he could clearly see now was even half of what she’d been holding inside. He didn’t know. He had no idea. This whole time, his soulmate was in pain because of him and he didn’t know.

“I… I’m sorry,” was all he could think to say but God that didn’t even begin to cover it.

“Yeah,” she said flatly. “Me too.”

With that, she turned to leave, and again, Nathaniel caught her wrist. Heaving a tired sigh of frustration, she faced him once again. “What do you want, Nathaniel?”

He didn’t know, if he was being honest.

In this moment, he wasn’t in love with her. He wasn’t desperately hoping to kiss her, nor did her clear displeasure with his presence make his heart break. His pulse didn’t spike from a look alone and his name on her tongue sounded no different from any other. She was beautiful—he would have to be blind not to see that—but he didn’t find himself sneaking peaks at her during class nor filling his sketchbook with her visage. When he woke in the morning, his first thought wasn’t of her and he didn’t see her face behind closed eyes when he lay down at night.

He didn’t know her favorite color or her favorite song. He couldn’t tell you what her pet peeves were or what tiny joys she found in life. He had no idea if she preferred the books or the movies, the comics or the show. He couldn’t possibly guess what seemingly harmless topic would spark a 10 minute rant, or what activities she secretly loved that she never wanted anyone to know. Did she like pineapple on pizza? Sprinkles on ice cream? Could she walk somewhere without listening to music? Did she take a water bottle with her everywhere? Chapstick? Lip gloss? Did she prefer writing with pen or pencil? Blue or black ink? Coffee or tea? Hot or iced?

He didn’t know. Chloé Bourgeois was, for all intents and purposes, a total and complete stranger. He didn’t even know if she was human.

“I want to know you,” he finally said.

“Why?”

She was listening. Giving him a chance. The anger was fading from her tone and though she sounded tired, for the first time since he saw her tattoo, he felt he might actually have a chance. An opportunity.

His grip on her wrist tightened the slightest bit, as if afraid that if he let go, she would leave and that opportunity would be lost forever. “Because I don’t know about you, but I know that it would be the biggest regret of my life if I never even tried to get to know my soulmate.”

The slight brightening of her eyes. The tiny intake of breath. It was subtle, almost nonexistent, but he didn’t miss it. The reaction to him calling her his soulmate.

“But you hate me,” she argued. He could hear her desire to fight subsiding with every word. “Don’t try to tell me that you don’t, because we both know that isn’t true.”

“Yeah,” he admitted, “I do.” His first impression of her had been awful and what he’d learned from Marinette after that had only made it worse. She was a bully, she was selfish, and with her father being the mayor and the richest man in Paris, she was also untouchable. He had never thought to look any deeper than that, because that was all the reason he’d needed to dislike her. But if she was his soulmate…

He shrugged, giving her the smallest of smiles. “And I’m clearly wrong.”

Chloé didn’t say anything. She stood there, looking back and forth between his eyes with an expression that he could only describe as exhausted and unsure. Eventually, her gaze dropped to where he still held her wrist.

With one last reluctant squeeze, he released her. She cradled the wrist in her other hand and swiped a thumb over the tattoo, staring at it as she thought.

“You’re right,” she finally said, voice low. When she looked up again, her usual air of confidence had returned. “You are wrong.” He couldn’t glean from her expression whether that was good or bad. He swallowed thickly, waiting on her every word. She let out a long breath, and with it, an immense weight seemed to ease off her shoulders. “And I probably am too.”

So…Did that mean…?

She fished her cell phone out of her purse and unlocked it. “Give me your number,” she said as she handed it over.

A flurry of pins and needles washed through him then as sincere blue eyes met his. It was the first time she had ever looked at him like that—ever looked at him with anything but antagonism. It wasn’t a happy look, but it was new. And it wasn’t…cold. Her eyes shined like the first day of spring and he could feel their warmth slowly spreading through him. It was a feat just to look away.

He tried not to let his fingers shake as he typed his information into her phone and handed it back.

“I’ll text you about the art project,” she said, and with one last look over her shoulder, walked away.