#plus i think the interview went well so i’m holding on to hope

[myhsterie]

do you guys ever feel fucking terminally insane

[vanishingstarrs]

wish on an eyelash ( k. takami x singer/influencer!reader, established relationship ) ( this is very much fluff and indulgence, take a shot if you��ve ever thought abt hawks n his eyeliner bc c’mon we all have, it’s hot as shit )

You’d taken your time, setting up your special ring lights and tripod, writing down the questions you’d be answering during your video, and making sure all your makeup supplies were set out in an order that wouldn’t make it obvious which order they went in.

During your last live video, you’d been asked multiple times for your boyfriend to do your makeup for a video.

Now, your boyfriend was a busy man (being the number two hero and all), but your audience had been requesting his presence in a video for some time now and you had to admit the idea sounded quite fun. Keigo was always welcome to your ideas, happy to show up during your lives if your fans asked where he was and eager to help you with your set ups whenever you were going to film something new. He’d actually done a voice over for you once a few months back (your fans had went nuts over that) when you lost your voice post concert and you’d promised to get your routine up before a certain point so it shouldn’t be too difficult for him. That, and the fact that he liked to watch you get ready most days.

You’d tweeted out a week earlier for them to send in some questions as a bonus while he did your makeup.

“We ready, baby?”

A pair of familiar hands hugged you around the middle, your boyfriend resting his chin on your shoulder and kissing your cheek repeatedly.

“Just about, you wanna approve the questions we’ll be answering this video?” You asked, holding up the notebook for him to see.

“Nah, I’m an open book, plus I trust you chose appropriate questions.”

“The amount of people that are curious about our sex lives is insane.” You rolled your eyes as you took a seat on the floor and patted the spot next to you for him to sit too.

He glanced at the coffee table, you guessed he was trying to picture the order of things.

You started off the video with your basic greeting that you always used before introducing your boyfriend (as if he needed an introduction) and he grinned as he gave a wave to the camera,“I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

A nervous smile lit up your face as you clapped your hands together and explained the gist of what your viewers would be seeing today,“As you all have been requesting, Keigo will be doing my makeup for me today. A bunch of you noticed he watches me get ready a lot and said he should be able to do it and—”

“I’d never turn down a challenge.” He cut in, smirking,“Trust me, I got this.”

“For my sake, I really hope so.” You then picked up your notebook,“As a treat so you guys won’t be too bored, I sent out an ask for questions, many of you guys always wonder about our relationship and while we do like to keep things private, we thought a little insider from us couldn’t hurt.”

“Do you know what you’re gonna start with?” You asked your boyfriend and he grinned, surprising you by picking up the correct item.

“You gotta prime your surface first, don’t ya?”

You turned your body toward him instead of facing the camera so he could begin, Keigo placed both hands on your face and kissed your nose before adjusting your position.

“Alright, first question.” He said as he uncapped the primer.

You glanced at your notebook out of your periphery,“How did you and Hawks meet?”

“Of course.” He rolled his eyes playfully as he rubbed the primer in with his fingers, letting it dry while he scanned the table for his next item.

He faced the camera briefly,“We met at the grocery store, we’re boring people, okay?”

“Truth.” You giggled, as you were sure people expected a much more exciting story.

Keigo, now armed with an eyebrow pencil, began running the brush through your brows before slightly marking a few empty spots. You grinned, he knew you so well.

“I’m sure many of you think we met at that gala where I interviewed Keigo on whether he preferred chicken or beef and he said—”

“Take me out to dinner and find out.” He quoted himself from that night.

You laughed,“Sorry to disappoint, but by then we’d actually been on a couple dates and I very much knew the answer to that question, I was asking stuff from his fans. We were pretty lovesick already at that point, I think, and then everyone started shipping us.”

“Unbeknownst to you all, we were seeing everything and just laughing.” Keigo chuckled.

He tapped his chin as he picked up an eyeshadow palette and opened it up to sniff it.

He searched the pile of brushes while you asked the next question,“What was your first date like?”

“Ooh, I have this one!” Keigo dipped his brush into what he guessed was your favorite color based on how much was missing,“Initially, I wanted to fly her to our date spot, but since I happened to know how deathly afraid of heights she was… I knew it wouldn’t happen — not on the first date, I thought — so we took a nice little stroll there, I picked her up and she was wearing a sparkly dress and looked oh so pretty—”

“There’s a picture of me in that outfit up on my accounts, actually, if you know you know.” You commented before he grabbed your chin and instructed for you to close your eyes.

“I took that picture.” He made sure to clarify, and you felt him tap something (glitter, you were guessing) into your inner eyelids as he continued,“Anyway, I had this gazebo set up really nice, lots of lights, flowers, cute shit, and we had dinner and talked the whole night, super romantic. By the end of it, she loved me—”

“Don’t lie!”

“You did, dove, I mean, c’mon, you let me fly you around by the end of it.”

“Okay, I did.” You sighed,“But only because you made me feel like I could really trust you.”

“And have I ever given you any reason to doubt that?” He looked into your eyes and again, you sighed.

“No…”

“Then?”

“Whatever. What’s next?” You pointed at your makeup pile that he was slowly going through, putting aside what he’d already used.

He went through and placed foundation all over your face, making sure to blend it into your neck while you went through a few more questions.

“Who does Hawks’s eyeliner?” You giggled.

Your boyfriend scoffed, facing the camera with a deadpan expression on his face,“Okay, I’m saying this once and only once, much to contrary belief, the ‘eyeliner’?” He rubbed at his eye and even dragged his finger down,“Is not makeup, it’s not a part of my costume or a fun little gimmick, the closest I can get to explaining it is a beauty mark. It’s permanent.”

“You tell ‘em, babe.” You continued to laugh, only to stop as he picked up your actual eyeliner.

“Just for that we’re gonna replicate this on you.”

“Awe.” You pouted,“I can’t pull that off.”

And he knew it too since you only ever applied eyeliner very minimally.

“Shush and hold still.” He paused the step he was on to attempt the new look for your eyes.

“I’d like you all to know, Keigo is very much holding his breath right now and his mouth is wide open, he’s definitely one of us.” You said smugly, an inside joke only those who wore makeup and did anything eye related could understand.

“Hold on, shh.” Your boyfriend paused as he swiped a finger under your eye and held out your fallen eyelash to you,“Make a wish.”

This wasn’t a rare occurrence actually, you often lost many eyelashes due to rapid blinking whenever your eyes became strained and he loved for you to make wishes. You often did the same to him; and so you closed your eyes and thought of your wish before tossing the tiny thing over your shoulder.

He grinned and pecked your lips a few times, satisfied that the lash hadn’t stuck to you because it meant your wish would be granted,“So what’d ya wish for?”

For this to never end.

You smiled back,“Can’t tell, won’t come true.”

He pouted, but knew the rules just as well. He finished up his eyeliner and immediately resuming his last step. Now you were the one pouting,“I wanna see.”

“Nope, wait until the end.”

“Boo.”

“Next question, lovebird.”

You continued through the questions until Keigo seemed satisfied enough with your looks, finishing off with a kiss to seal the deal and you smiled,“Done?”

“Mhm.”

“No lipstick?”

“No point.” He shrugged, leaning back on his hands,“I’ll end up eating it all off in a second anyway.”

You didn’t bother correcting him, picking up a mirror to check out the eyeliner that he actually made a little thinner than what his non-eyeliner looked like and you smiled, it didn’t look half bad and he got all the steps right. Though he didn’t do them in the order you did them, they weren’t technically wrong and you looked pretty alright.

As you finished off the video, your boyfriend waved at the tripod and you shut off the camera.

“Well, I’d call that a success.” You smiled at him.

“Great, wanna go get ice cream?” He looked up at you in adoration before teasing,“I wanna show off my hard work.”

You smiled, you already had your wish.

[fandomtherapy44]

Solider Boy x reader

Summary: The year just turning into 1982 Vaught's Payback being the most talked Superhero group especially Vaught's Golden boy. The elusive handsome player Solider boy. Y/n has always wanted to help people with her powers so when Payback starts interviewing, she has to go. Her whole life is about get shaken up not just by how she thought superheroes were supposed to be but by an arrogant self-absorbed but handsome asshole.

Paring: Solider boy x reader/Enemies to lovers

word count: 1,338

Chapters: 1/?

WARININGS: oh, shit here we go again. Major language, Cancer patient, being mean to Y/n.

I got the divder from

saradika

AN/ Hey everyone so I've been thinking to make this for a while now. Since I love the Boys so much did, I start watching this show for Jensen maybe did I stay for the others yes. I think Payback is so interesting, so this is like a prequel series. I just love the backstory of Payback I hope we get more in this new season. This first chapter we don't meet Ben, but we will soon ;) Hope you enjoy.

Chapter one: Taking the leap

POV (Y/N)

The year being 1982 I was freshly twenty-eight working at fucking Vought burger I mean I was making money not much but still I just thought I would be somewhere else at this age. I was mopping the floors at one am with the smell of cell killing chemicals and the four-hour crust of kid puke up my nose. The old tv in the corner of the ceiling was a plus though because Vaught central channel would replay old Payback movies. Superheroes were my everything when I was a kid especially when I learned I had the very powers that my hero’s had. But my mom never wanted me to use them. 

“Hey Y/n how’s your mom doing?” My friend slash coworker asked me. “Oh well she has a treatment this week but after that I don’t know how I’m going to cover the cost next time.” “I can maybe scrape some money together.” I put my mop down and turned to her. “No no I couldn't ask you to do that you have your own shit to worry about.” “Ok but if there is anything else I can do I will be there.” I smile at her kindness. “I'm counting on it.” Just two more damn hours and I could go home and sleep for three hours and then go to my next job.

“Hey, did you hear about those auditions downtown?” “What auditions?” I asked, not really paying attention trying to get the puke stain out of the tiled floor. “Really you haven't heard that’s surprising of how much you love superheroes, it's the payback auditions.” I nearly slipped on the puke. “What! Are you serious!?” I ran over to her shaking her. “Yes Y/n yes! Now can you stop shaking me? I think my brain is starting to leak.” “Ha yes sorry it’s just that it has literally been my dream since I've learned I have powers.” “So, are you going to go?” That was the question.

The weather today was cold, and it was raining well more like pouring and my broken umbrella was barely holding together. I walked in and said hello to the nurse. Before I walked in the room, I put on the fake smile that I put on every time. “Hey mom.” I went to her bed. “Sweetpea, I didn’t know you were coming today.” She said in a very southern draw one of the many things I loved about her. “I wanted to surprise, especially today.” I looked to the tube in her arm for her treatment.

“So, how’s college?” Right college. “Well, my professor says that he was most impressed by my last paper.” This was all bullshit but if I told her what I was really doing all day she would discharge herself and go home and let God do the work to heal her. Well sadly I couldn't leave it up to God not where she was with her stage. “Now that's my daughter on her way to be on the top and get her dream job.” Dream job now that was a joke.

“Yeah...” I looked at the time and my other job was calling. “Well mom I have to run to class. Do you need anything before I go.” She grabs my hand and stares in my eyes. “I just want to look at my little girl for a minute.” In that minute my heart was racing. “Now sweetie go kick but!” My mother would never curse. She said that if she did that she might as well drink dirt then sweet lemonade. 

On my way to work my umbrella fully went down. Luckily there was an awning, and I ran under it. I looked out and it seemed the whole world was working against me. My mother, my job, my lack of a love life but that was the last thing on my mind. The weather was like my life exploding all at once. I just didn’t know what to do. But I think the world heard me and a gust of wind threw up a flyer in my face but not just any flyer.

“Hi there, can you please step forward and state your name,age,height,weight,Sup name.” I don’t think I have ever sweat so much in my life. “Uh Y/n L/n,28,’-,___’ and I don’t know ha.” I looked down nervously. “You're auditioning for a superhero team and you don’t have a name?” The woman looked at me in disbelief. “I-” She holds up her hand to stop me. “You know what I don’t have time to hold your fucking hand like in kindergarten just show us your powers.”

I took that in stride and stood back. I breathed in deeply and used my whole body to push forward and a force came out that crumbled all the practice dummies. I also grabbed the air around me and made a blade. Then I made a shield from that same air. I looked back and everyone looked shocked. The woman from before stacked her papers. “Um thank you we will call you.” I bowed and said thank you.

It had been about a month, and I had heard nothing, so I had lost hope. I was once again cleaning a kid's mess. Parents really need to watch their kids. “Y/n phone call!” My coworker called out and I threw down my rag and dusted off my pants and went to the phone. “Hello” “Hello this Vaught.” My eyes widened and I held my hand over the phone to not hear my escaped squeals. “What are you calling about?” I tried to keep my excitement in.

“Well, the people who are behind payback were very impressed with your audition and would like to invite you to be the newest member of payback.” I did not think twice. “YES!” “I mean yes I would love to.” “Great you will be flown out on the first of next month.” Oh, shit I didn't know it would be that quick. She sensed my quiet. “Will that be a problem?” “No of course not thank you.” She hung up. “Who was that?” My coworker asked. “That was the call telling me that I'm going to be the newest member of Payback.” I said realizing that my whole life changed in five minutes.

It was only the tenth, but I had so much shit to do I had to quit my jobs, stop renting and tell my mom which to be honest I was putting that off. “Hey mom.” “Sweetpea if you keep on surprising me, I'm going to have to start getting pretty for you.” “Mom, you are beautiful everyday no matter what.” “Aww you're just saying that.” “Speaking about our visits, they will have to slow down.” She looked disappointed. “Well, I understand for school.” Here I go. “Mom I'm just going to say it…  you're looking at the newest member of Payback.” “Tell me you're joking.” “No mom I’m not.”

“Y/n you can’t it's too dangerous.” “Mom, I swear to you I will train every day be the safest possible.” “No, I won’t allow it.” “Well sorry I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions. And frankly my fast-food jobs are not cutting it for the bills.” “Fast food? What about college?” “I couldn't do both make money and do school.” “So, you've been lying this whole time.” “I’m sorry mom but it was between me, and you and I chose you.” She had hot tears welling up. “But with this job I can pay for everything and more.” “You'll call me every day?” I threw myself in her arms like I was a little girl again. “Everyday.”

I get on the plane, and I sit down. My whole life was about to change. I was going to go from nobody to where I have permission to punch strangers. But I was ready for whatever or whoever will be there. 

[spicymaruchancontajin]

Tom kaulitz x reader

ok I’m finally being able to work on this sorry it took me so long it was my birthday and I was busy 😭

p.s i put in that you have glossy red lipstick it important for the story sorry it can be anything shade of red 👍

update: i fixed some stuff lmk if I’m missing anything

˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚

It was right after your concert and you had to go to a fancy party right after but fans crowded you as you went to say hi. You got ready as fast as you could as the cosmetics lady’s doll you up. You put on a (color) dress and shiny (color) high heels. You and your band where so late you practically ran to the party. “Jesus Christ there was so many people”

You sighed exhaustedly. Your band was in a limo driving to the party bacicly speeding to get there in time. “I liked it but everyone was so pushy “can I get your number” “ Leave your girlfriend for me”” Rein mocked his fans as the rest of the band laughed. “Oh god lets just hope they don’t follow us”. You finally arrive as cameras flashing as your car pulled up to the stairs. You and your band are practically blinded by the light as you pretend like you where just in a rush. People yelled at you for interviews or to look at their camera the only thing you could think is how ANOYING. Finally your inside your eyes getting their break from being blinded by a dozen cameras in your face. People chatting and drinking or sitting around how boring but you had to be there. You leave your band and go get a drink and something small to eat. Just as you grab the drink something or someone catches your eye. He was wearing baggy jeans and a overly sized t shirt. What the fuck how unfair you could be wearing some like that I mean everyone else was dressed for the occasion what the hell happened to him. You didn’t mind it that much and just left for the snack table. “I like these ones better” his thick accent hits your ears as you had reached for something. You look over your eyes scanning him, it was the same guy with oversized jeans and t-shirt. He grabbed the small snack eating it as he checked you out. “ mmm” you hummed as you reached over grabbing the food and popping it into your mouth with out a thought. “ Dam these are good” “I told you” you continue to eat with him fighting over who gets more. He had gotten the last one and threw it into his mouth. “Whatever” you say with a smile as he just smirks chewing. “So what do you do anyway” his voice drowning out everything else “well I’m [singer, drummer, etc] in [band name]” he nodded in acknowledgement “what about you” “I’m a guitarists in Tokio hotel” “Oooo you big?” “in both ways yeah” his was voice smug and confident. You did get it a first but eventually resized what he said. “*gasp*ohh not like that” you looked at him as he laughed his eyes going to the floor. “What about you?” He chuckled “umm we are big but not super big you know” “oh ok” there was a bit of nervous silence between you after that question. “You from around here?” “No I’m from Germany you” “Oooo cuteee I’m from [where your from]” “ahh how nice” “yeah” you look around the room a see your band members calling you over frantically as if to meet some on “oh shit I gota go” “oh… how about I get your number?” “Oh yeah hold on” you grab a pen and napkin from the table and write your number and your name but before you give it to him you kiss the napkin leaving a glossy red lip print. You hand it over and wink before rushing over to your members smiling. You didn’t even know if he was into you like that but why not take the chance. He had put it in his wallet anyway taking out veras other numbers and leave them stranded on table just to have yours only plus you got to meet lady Gaga.

˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚

help free me from school guys 😭 I have been so busy I’m so sorry this took so long I’ll try not to take long next time 😭

anyway hope you like it and tell me if there is any errors or anything like that and I finally figured out how to do the keep reading thing 😍

Maru out 💋

[schrijverr]

I Found Myself a Cheerleader 19

Chapter 19 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

In this chapter, Robin and Steve keep each other sane, before they have to split up for the day as she goes to chase the Creel lead with Chrissy and Nancy, while Steve stays to watch out for Max. Stays in the hopes he can save her before she dies. When they make it through it, they go to explore the Creel house where Nancy starts to act weird, but other things are afoot there as well…

On AO3.

Ships: steddie & buckingham

Warnings: general season 4 shenanigans

~~~~~

Chapter 19: The Creels

Relief floods through Steve’s veins when Chrissy and Robin are both okay, waiting on Robin’s curb for him to pick them up. Robin looks a little flushed as she climbs into the passenger side seat, while Chrissy looks like herself. Quite good for someone with a death sentence hanging above her head.

“How are you feeling?” he asks her, as he drives to the Wheeler house.

“I mean, I think I’m okay. It isn’t really landing yet,” Chrissy admits. She’s quiet for a second, then she adds: “I’m scared.”

Steve wishes he wasn’t behind the wheel so he could hug her, hold her tight and make sure she knows she is never going to be alone. But he can’t, so he just says: “Hey, you’re gonna be okay. Me and Robs are gonna be there the whole day. Nothing’s going to happen, okay.”

“Like the whole day,” Robin agrees. “We’re going to be like leeches, but friendly leeches, because leeches are pretty gross and not helpful. They’re actually quite terrible to have, but it is about the sticking imagery. What I mean, is yeah, we’re gonna be there.”

At that Chrissy gives a small smile and that’s worth gold at this moment.

They arrive at the Wheeler house Nancy is also just coming back. Steve gets out of the car and asks her: “Where did you go? Is Max okay?”

“She’s fine,” Nancy assures him. “Don’t think she slept much, but she’s alive. I went to get these papers.” She holds up a few files.

“What are those?” Steve asks.

“Aliases,” Nancy answers. “Today three interested psychology college students are going to interview Victor Creel about the murder of his family.”

“Okay, what’s my alias,” Steve nods, it sounds like a smart plan so far. But at his question the three girls look guiltily at him and it dawns on him that he doesn’t have an alias. “What the hell,” he exclaims. He wants to do something, help his friends. What is he going to do here? Wait until Max dies?

“Steve,” Nancy starts in that manner of hers that now grates on Steve’s nerves. That voice that tells him she doesn’t think he’s capable enough to get her mastery.

“No,” he cuts her off. “I can help. I look old enough to be a student, Chrissy doesn’t. Plus, Chrissy should be out of harms way. I’m not getting left out of this. I’m more than the babysitter.” He looks at Nancy, remembering that time outside of the Byers’ house in ‘84 when he told her how he was a good babysitter, how that is all he is to her now. The only part she cared to remember.

He might have never loved her, but at least he cared about her. Though, sometimes he wonders why he ever thought he liked her.

Nancy sends him a look and is about to say something back when Robin cuts in: “Okay, Nancy take Chrissy inside, I’m gonna talk to Stevie her for a second.”

It is clear that Nancy does not like being pushed to the side one bit, but she and Chrissy do go inside as Robin asks. Chrissy looks back at the door, to check on them. Steve sends her a tight smile, Robin a dorky wave that he would have immediately teased her about, were it not for the circumstances.

“I can’t believe you’re picking their side,” Steve tells her the second they’re alone. “And that you didn’t tell me. Neither of you.”

“There were kind of other revelations going on before we could,” Robin points out, not replying to Steve’s prissy tone. “And it’s the smartest move.”

“How? Because I can’t be a college student?” Steve frowns. Robin knows he’s sensitive about not getting into college.

“No, that’s not it,” Robin’s eyes immediately grow wide. “You know I don’t think that about you, dingus. And neither does Chrissy.”

“Then why can’t I go?” Steve asks petulantly.

“Because Max is going to die today and Chrissy tomorrow,” Robin says bluntly, making Steve flinch. “Max needs someone that she actually likes and knows and is capable of protecting her if something goes down. Someone she would want to have there with her in case she doesn’t make it out.”

“Robs,” Steve begins, needing to say something as if that will undo the truth Robin has just spoken into the universe.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, neither do I,” Robin tells him gently. “Trust me, I might be oblivious 50% of the time and incapable of shutting up the other 50% percent, but I’m not heartless or stupid. Max is our priority right now. And she would want you there over me, Chrissy or Nancy and we both know that.”

“But Chrissy is still also in danger,” Steve protests, though he is already convinced to stay with Max, now he is worried about Chrissy being out there.

“If she’s here, you’re responsible for both of them, you can’t do that by yourself,” Robin says not unkindly. “This way, we both carry half the responsibility. And if Victor can sense something, then Chrissy is there. It might be useful. We’re a team, dingus. Even if we’re apart.”

That makes Steve smile, he would be lost without Robin. She means so much to him. The only person, who knows how to talk to him, to explain in a way he can get behind it. “Thank you, Robbie.”

“Course, dingus,” Robin smiles. “I’ll look after her, don’t worry.”

Steve’s smile now turns into a sly smirk as he says: “Ah yeah, you’ve been very graciously watching out for her, haven’t you, Robs.”

“Oh shut up,” Robin blushes.

“Come on,” Steve whines. “We’re not going to be able to talk about it for a long while. Just fill me in right now. All going okay?”

Robin blushes and looks around, before allowing a dopey smile to crawl onto her face. “She’s just been so nice, Stevie. And touchy. Like I don’t want to take advantage of her or something, but she keeps cuddling me and grabbing my arm. It’s a lot.”

“She is quite taken with you,” Steve agrees.

“God,” Robin covers her face. “I’m never going to make it out of here in one piece. She’s making me get my hopes up.”

“If we all make it out, we’ll hold a pity party together,” Steve offers.

At that Robin perks up. “I’m keeping you to that, dingus. Do you need one? How was your night with Eddie?”

“Don’t phrase it like that,” Steve scolds, cheeks pinkening. Then he mumbles: “It was good. We- uhm, we talked.”

“Just talked?” Robin asks with a raised brow that tells Steve she doesn’t believe him.

“Yeah, talked,” Steve says stubbornly, before adding: “And maybe also a little bit of cuddling and I cried all over him.”

“What?” Robin exclaims. “Are you okay?”

“I am,” Steve assures her, touched by her care even after all these months. “Just, you know, it all kind of caught up with me.”

“Okay, yeah, I get that,” Robin nods, before going back to their previous topic. She grins: “Soooo, cuddling?”

“Shut up,” Steve tells her. “He was asleep and huddled up to me. It probably meant nothing to him at all. Plus, we only just made up and he’s being hunted, it’s not like I’m going to make a move on him or something.”

“Maybe an ‘it’s nearly the end as we know it’ confession will be romantic,” Robin says, luckily not pushing into his own insecurity. Both know they don’t have time to get into that now.

“You should consider your own advice,” Steve shoots back, getting a glare.

However, before Robin can say something bitchy back, and start a squabble fest like the two so often do, Dustin appears in the doorway, yelling: “Are you two done yet?”

“We’re coming,” Steve yells back, rolling his eyes as he looks at Robin, who rolls her eyes right back at him. That little conversation with her has made him feel more normal ever since Saturday, it’s like she’s magic.

When he gets to the basement, Max is there, looking like she didn’t sleep for a second. She must be terrified to not even know when she’s going to die, just that it is today. Steve’s heart breaks for her and he pulls her into a hug, despite the fact that Max usually resents them.

This time, though, she doesn’t scoff and push him away before rolling her eyes. This time she hugs back and allows herself to take a deep breath while hiding away in his chest, away from prying eyes filled with concern.

Yeah, Steve will be better off staying with her.

After a second, Max lets go if burned and ignores Steve again, going to sit at a desk where she feverishly starts writing again.

Steve follows her with confusion, before spotting Lucas, who is looking at Max’s back with anguish, like he doesn’t know how to approach her. He sits down next to him and softly asks: “How are you doing?”

Lucas looks surprised and startled at being addressed, obviously somewhere else with his head. He looks apologetic as he scratches his nose, before he shrugs: “I’m okay, you know, seeing the circumstances. Are the girls really going to an asylum?”

“Yeah,” Steve answers. He can see right through the deflection, but he isn’t about to push. Lucas needs reassurance, not digging through his turmoil. “They’re going to find a way to survive this, don’t worry.”

“That’s good.” Lucas manages a small smile. It’s not much, but it is good enough for now, yet Steve wonders if he should be guilty for saying that when he has his own doubts.

However, before he can consider the dilemma, Robin is screeching upstairs that Nancy is trying to murder her. So, he rushes up to save her. Even if she is only being dramatic about the outfit that – admittedly – does not suit her at all, but is right for the part. Steve just comes in, spots her, then bursts out laughing.

“Stop laughing, dingus,” she pouts. “I am actively being harmed by this outfit. Convince her,” she jabs a finger at Nancy, “to give me something else.”

Nancy looks annoyed at Robin, which is the only reason Steve stops laughing. Robin hates it when people are annoyed at her and he’ll step in and say something, if Nancy even dares to say anything mean right now. He gets that she is under stress, they all are, but he’s watching her.

Fortunately, before Nancy can say anything, Chrissy comments: “I think you look nice. Not your usual style, but you do pull it off.”

Chrissy herself is also in similar clothes, but these are close to her normal daily garb, so it’s not as stark a difference as it is on Robin. However, Chrissy could have been in a trash bag and Robin still would have spluttered: “Well, I- It’s not the worst I guess. If you- If you think so.”

Steve sends her a raised brow that she pointedly ignores in favor of blushing at Chrissy’s bright smile. Steve isn’t judging too hard, as long as Robin can make Chrissy smile like that and forget about the danger, she can be as hopeless as she wants.

Before long, the girls have left, having been hustled out the door by an anxious Nancy.

The kids and Steve watch them go and Steve tries not to feel a sense of doom as he watches them drive off. Chrissy still has a day, Max doesn’t. If they don’t come back with something, Steve might have to watch Max die and be strong for Dustin and Lucas in the fall out.

God, he hopes they find something, because the responsibility weighs on him before they’re even out of sight. He’s going to take this so seriously. Nothing terrible will happen to Max. Not on his watch.

However, that mentality is hard to maintain when she gives them a letter, just in case she doesn’t make it through today. Steve feels honored and horrified. He hopes he will never know what Max really thinks of him. That he never has to read that letter that now burns in his pocket.

And it all gets more out of hand when Max wants to leave. Steve does not want her out in the world even if the attacks aren’t physically there and can reach her here too. It’s safer for her to be somewhere he can keep an eye on her.

But this is Max. Max is stubborn and independent. He loves her for it and he knows she will make good on her threats. Not to mention that he has a weak spot for her and won’t deny her her agency on what might be her last day. He doesn’t want to take that from her.

So, they get in the car and Steve drives her wherever she wants to go. His eyes flitting between Max’s trailer and the crime scene that is now Eddie’s, before driving to a cemetery where he watches Max sit at Billy’s grave. The brother she could have had, were he not the largest asshole the world had ever seen. He’s not going to tell Max that, but he is kind of glad Billy is no longer among the living.

Then Max becomes too still. She hasn’t been moving much, but Steve’s gut tells him something is wrong, so he moves to get her as he says: “Alright, it’s been long enough.”

“Steve, just give her some time,” Lucas protests, wanting to do whatever Max wants. Steve feels the same urge, but Lucas isn’t responsible for her, Steve is.

So, he starts walking and replies: “I have, alright? I’m calling it. She wants to get a lawyer, she can.” Then he turns to Max and calls out: “Max. Time to giddy up, yeah?”

Max doesn’t respond.

Fear grips Steve and he walks a little faster, coming face to face with rolled back eyes, unresponsive. Just like Eddie had said. She is being attacked right now. Vecna has her. Despite knowing that, he still yells: “Max. Max.”

He yells just in case it will work this time, just in case the universe wants to grant him some kindness, just in case he won’t have to watch Max die this time.

“Wake up,” he begs, pleads, grovels, whatever will help. “Hey,” he snaps and claps his hand in front of her face, anything he can think off. “Max, wake up. Max, wake up!”

Nothing is working and he looks back at the others, beckoning them over here, but they are already running. They know too that something is very wrong. He doesn’t want them to see, but they’ll kill him if he didn’t let them help. Such guilt can tear someone apart.

The three of them try to wake her up, but nothing is working. Nothing. Panic is now truly setting in and Steve realizes that their only hope lies at Penthurst Asylum.

He seizes Dustin by the collar, knowing he can feel bad about that later, as he commands: “Call the girls. Go get them. Call the girls! Now. Go!”

Dustin runs off as he and Lucas try to wake Max up, even if they know it’s hopeless. They have to try, because quitting? Giving up? That isn’t an option.

It seems to take forever, before Dustin is running back, arms full of stuff as he screams for their attention. Dropping a confusing assemblage of stuff that has Lucas frantically asking: “What is this?”

“What’s her favorite song?” Dustin asks, ignoring Lucas entirely.

“Why? Why?” Lucas demands, panicking.

“Robin said if she listens-” Dustin cuts himself off. “It’s too much to explain now. What’s her favorite song?”

Lucas luckily has an answer for that and they all scramble to find the right one. Steve’s hands are steady, despite the adrenaline. There is no room for emotions or thoughts right now, just action as they get the headphones onto Max’s head.

Nothing happens, so they continue screaming for her to wake up, begging her to just come back to them.

Suddenly Max starts to float. It’s almost like Billy, like there is something invisible piercing her chest and lifting her up. Steve feels a little sick. Eddie had told them about it, but actually experiencing it is a whole other thing.

She’s out of their reach now. All they can do to not feel so helpless is yell, scream until their throats are raw and hope that whatever Robin discovered is right and they won’t have to catch Max’s corpse.

They watch as she suddenly gulps in a big breath, but they don’t have time to feel relieved, because she’s falling, hitting the ground as all of them are too late to catch her. Steve tries not to think about it as they all hover around her, comforting her, as she heaves panicked breaths. He can’t imagine what she might have seen.

In a teary, cracking voice, Lucas says: “We thought we lost you.”

And Max assures them: “I’m still here, I’m still here,” and those are the best words Steve has heard all day. Max is still here. They have a weapon against this.

Enough time has passed that the sun is starting to set, but Steve doesn’t care about that right now, because Max is safe. He can allow himself a moment of respite as he feels her shoulders move with every breath she takes.

Max is alive.

There is hope.

They broadcast the news over the radio as Lucas and Dustin sandwich Max in the backseat, who for once doesn’t protest, but curls into the comfort as Kate Bush plays on repeat in her ears.

Eddie whoops, relief coloring his voice and Robin exclaims: “Oh thank god, that was totally a shot in the dark,” which makes Steve want to strangle her, though that lessens when Chrissy takes over and says: “She’s being modest. She just figured that out.”

“Well, it worked, so I count it as a win. Over,” Lucas replies and if Lucas is happy, Steve can live with Robin putting him in an early grave.

Then Nancy comes over the radio, professional as always, though an edge of relief and victory colors her voice. “Lets meet up at my house again. We’ll figure out our next move in the morning, it’s safer to stick together. Over.”

Dustin takes the radio from Lucas and says: “What about Eddie? Over.”

“I’m fine here, dude, don’t worry,” Eddie says.

It’s quiet for a second, then Dustin snootily tells him: “You’re supposed to say over. Over,” which is naturally an invitation for Eddie’s mockery. The banter makes Steve smile and relax. If they’re joking, they’re okay. Steve kept them safe. Steve did okay.

At the Wheeler house, the girls are already there, Robin back in her normal clothes, looking quite relieved about it. Chrissy next to her is smiling widely, headphones on her head. Steve hugs both of them tightly, happy that they’re alive and well.

“So, what is your anthem, Chris?” he asks her.

“Oh, uhm, I don’t really know. I’m not much of a music person, you know how my mom can get about it,” she answers with a shrug. “I borrowed some Madonna from Nancy, thought that was a safe enough bet.”

“Madonna can save anyone,” Steve assures her with a wink.

Max still doesn’t feel up to sleeping, which is understandable, she just saw a nightmare and nearly died.

Steve also doesn’t feel up to sleeping. He’s been having good nights, despite his wakefulness and the last thing he wants to do is scare the kids by waking up screaming. So, he pretends to sleep as he listens to Max draw and the feint sounds of Madonna from Chrissy on his one side and Robin’s breathing on the other.

Because he’s only dozing a little bit, he hears the radio crackle to life. Eddie’s voice says: “Hey, Dustin, this is Eddie the Banished. You there?”

He doesn’t hear Dustin get up to get the radio and apparently Eddie is tired of the quiet, because he tries again: “Dustin, can you hear me? Dustin? Earth to Dustin. Oh for fucks sake. Over.”

Steve snorts quietly at that. He also wouldn’t put it past Dustin to ignore Eddie because he isn’t saying over. While Eddie has been talking, he worked his way out from between Chrissy and Robin, who seek each other once he is gone.

He gives them a soft smile, before grabbing the radio and saying: “Not Dustin. Hope Steve is also good.”

“Stevie! Hey,” Eddie greets. Then adds sheepishly: “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“It’s fine, I was already awake,” Steve assures him.

“That’s good, that’s- Yeah, that’s good,” Eddie says. “Uhm, so you’re kind of out of food. I guess doing groceries kind of goes on the back burner when stuff like this goes down. But, uhm, I’m a bit hungry and I can’t really venture out in the world.”

“Yeah, no, don’t do that,” Steve agrees. “We’ll bring something by soon.”

“Great, thanks,” Eddie replies with a hesitance in his voice that is cleared up when he says: “I- I was wondering if you could pick me up a six pack? I know it’s stupid as shit, drinking right now, but a cold beer would really calm my jangled nerves and you don’t have any alcohol, which I respect, but you know…”

Steve hasn’t stopped drinking like he did smoking after Starcourt, but he has lessened it, only sharing a beer on occasion. He doesn’t mind others drinking more excessively in his presence, though he hasn’t really been to parties much to test that much. Still, he doesn’t think it is smart to drink right now, though that’s not his place to say.

As he thinks he looks around to the others, suddenly noticing the empty spot next to Lucas where Max is supposed to be. He freezes. Max is gone. Did something happen without any of them noticing? Who was supposed to be on watch?

“I’ll see what I can do, have to go now,” he tells Eddie, ignoring his protests as he shakes Nancy awake, who blinks blearily. “Nance,” he whispers. “Who is supposed to be on watch?”

“Mhm? Dustin,” Nancy replies, rubbing her eyes.

“Dustin is asleep and Max is gone,” Steve informs her. That snaps her awake and soon they’re both looking for Max, sheer relief washing over them as they find her at the kitchen table with Holly and some crayons, surrounded by drawings of a strange red world.

“Hey,” Steve greets her kindly, getting her attention as he sits down at the table with her.

Max looks up in surprise, before replying: “Hey.”

“You okay?” Steve asks, knowing the likely answer, while Nancy studies the drawings she is making.

“Just couldn’t sleep,” Max shrugs, both of them knowing it’s more than that. Though, she tries to play it off by joking: “People kept blasting music in my ears for some reason.” She chuckles, not fully successful, but better than Steve could have done in these circumstances. “But Holly let me borrow some crayons.”

Steve eyes drift over to Holly, before turning back to Max, who is now directing hew words at Holly, sounding more gentle than Steve has ever heard her as she says: “We’ve been having fun, right, Holly?”

Holly hums as she nods, completely absorbed in her own drawing and happy to sit with Max, who would be an amazing sister, if she is ever given the chance.

The moment is broken by Nancy, who asks: “Is this was you saw last night?” as she points to the drawings. The frown between her brows is familiar to Steve and he knows she found a thread to keep pulling at, convinced it will give her answers.

“I mean, it’s supposed to be,” Max tells her. “I thought it’d be easier to draw it out than to explain, but not so much.”

What Max describes at Nancy’s questions sounds horrifying. Steve is glad to have not seen it, but he would have a thousand times over if it meant Max didn’t have to. She is trying to hide it, but he can tell she is shaken up and he doesn’t blame her for it.

However, with what she says and has drawn, Nancy is able to figure out that the house she saw is the Creel house. It isn’t much, but it’s something. A lead. A place to start.

They gather the troops and go to explore the house. Steve hasn’t been with Chrissy or Robin once and he wants to stick with them. But Nancy takes control and assigns him with Dustin. He doesn’t mind being with the kid, he loves him, but he has been able to check on him consistently throughout this whole thing, while Chrissy and Robin continue to stay out of his periphery.

He trusts both girls to be fine and of course he wants Robin to be able to have time with Chrissy, but this is Robin’s second time going through this and Chrissy’s first. He is just worried for them. So, so worried.

But, he knows Nancy is the better planner, so he lets her assign him to Dustin as they explore the house. He has not clue what they’re looking for, because he had been busy making sure they had everything with them here to be safe when it was explained. Like extra batteries for the two walkmans.

He is checking one of the rooms for something more creepy than the normal creepy that haunts the abandoned house when he feels something on his head and startles backwards as he sees a spider, walking into Nancy, who immediately asks: “What’s wrong?”

“There was a spider,” he admits, feeling a little silly about it.

“What?”

“It’s a black widow,” he explains, because that will make it slightly better.

“Okay,” Nancy smiles in that small way of her as she looks up at him from under her lashes.

“Don’t go in there,” he warns, unsure what to do now, because that is a smile he recognizes, but can’t place in this setting. Why is she looking at him like they’re still together?

Steve is about to walk away when Nancy stops him and reaches for the back of his head as she plucks off some left over cobwebs or dust. The whole thing feels a little too intimate and Steve feels a bit uncomfortable. He doesn’t like Nancy like that, plus she is with Jonathan and Steve does not help anyone cheat, nor does he cheat himself. He refuses.

After thanking her, he tries to walk away but she is kind of blocking him. As if she has sensed it, Robin comes walking by, saying: “If there’s a spider, you’re never gonna find it until it lays eggs and the babies spill out.”

It is the grossest thing and Steve does a full body shudder. She knows how he hates it when she says things like that and he knows she knows by the little shit eating grin she gives him when he exclaims: “What is wrong with you? Robin, seriously.”

She chuckles evilly, dragging Chrissy behind her, who is hiding her own giggle behind her hand, the traitor.

Nancy is raising a questioning eyebrow at him, then Robin. He pretends to be annoyed, but his voice is too fond, as he says: “She’s got problems.”

“Tell me about it,” Nancy says and it makes Steve’s skin crawl. She sounds too familiar, too close, when she isn’t. Steve has seen her annoyance at Robin. Her judgment at Robin’s comment about the spider eggs. He doesn’t like it.

“Robin is the best there is,” he says. “I like her oddities.”

At that, Nancy looks a bit confused, before she asks: “Oh, are you two together? Robin said not, but maybe I misunderstood.”

“No, no, we’re platonic, capital P,” Steve quickly says, he doesn’t want to date Robin or have anyone think that. He can’t imagine faking romantic attraction in the midst of all this stress. “She is my best friend.”

“I’m glad you found someone like that,” Nancy tells him, sounding a bit too condescending or coddling for Steve’s taste. “You know after the whole thing at school. You could’ve come sit with me and Jonathan, you know that, right?”

Steve suppresses a scoff, that would have been so much worse. Not just the rumors, but also having to sit with Nancy, who broke his heart despite neither having been in love with the other. Not to mention Jonathan, the guy that stole his girlfriend, never liked Steve and who Steve had a pathetic crush on for a bit. No thanks.

“It’s okay,” he says, not wanting to start anything. “I was okay. But thanks.”

Then he walks off, looking into a room where Chrissy and Robin are giggling together. He catches Robin’s eye and winks at her. She blushes in return and covertly sticks up her finger at him. Sweet vengeance for the spider eggs thing.

Searching the whole house, and finding nothing so far, takes time, so it’s getting late by the time they finally get something. The lights have flickered, much like they had done for Will when he was trapped at the other side. Much like the demogorgon had done.

Steve feels himself tensing, but before he can panic a hand is holding his, warm and steady. He looks to the side and there is Robin, giving him a smile. She remembers what he told her on those sleepless nights. About how the lights had flickered and a monster had come through the walls of the house. How scared he still is of them.

God, he loves Robin.

He’s distracted by Chrissy, who nudges his shoulder. She might not know about his fear, but she saw Robin comfort him and that had been enough for her. Steve doesn’t know what he did to get this lucky with his friends, but he embraces it nonetheless.

“Vecna is here. In this house. Just on the other side,” Lucas says out loud, realizing what is happening and putting it into words.

The light goes out and Robin says: “I think he just left the room.”

“Did he hear us?” Max asks and a fear grips Steve’s heart as he asks: “Can he see us?”

“Headphones,” Lucas says immediately and both Chrissy and Max immediately start playing their songs, so they can’t be taken.

Nancy has been thinking and must have deducted something, because she says: “Wait. Everyone turn off your flashlights. We can track him.”

While Steve hates the flickering lights, he hates the idea of the dark empty house more, but it is their best bet and everyone turns off their lights, so Steve follows. They spread out as they try to find him, walking through creaking, hollow halls.

Robin yells first. “I got him! Got him!” Her flashlight glowing as she holds it up and attempts to follow. “I got him!” She sounds excited, which dies out when the flashlight does and she apologetically says: “I- I had him.”

“Ah,” Steve exclaims when his light suddenly turns on, before he realizes what it is and starts to follow. “Oh, I think he’s moving. He’s moving.”

The others follow after Steve as they walk through the house, until Steve’s flashlight also goes dark again. He curses: “Shit, I lost him.”

“No, you didn’t,” Max says, shouldering through the group to walk towards something. She opens a door that Steve had missed and a glowing, flickering light comes from above them.

Max peers in tentatively and nothing happens, so she walks further. Steve immediately follows, because god knows what’s up there. The others are close behind them, Robin complaining and Dustin cursing.

In the attic all their flashlights start going crazy and they know they have found where Vecna resides. It’s a little crazy to think they’re in the very same room as the man who murdered two teens, just a layer of reality separating them.

By now, it’s already dark and Steve knows how everyone’s parents will be worried. But they’re making huge steps. If they let them go home now, they’re never getting out again, except for maybe Karen Wheeler. They’ll likely spend the night there again and then in the morning, they can do groceries and tell Eddie about their discoveries.

At that point, Steve can’t know what is happening to Eddie, to the cabin.

The group tentatively searches the attic to see if there is anything more to be found, before they leave. Steve is more keeping watch, than searching for clues, but with the amount of eyes they have, he’s sure none of them mind.

Because he is keeping watch, he is the one that spots when Chrissy stands on a bit of flooring that doesn’t look very secure. He calls out: “Chris, that doesn’t look stable.”

Chrissy looks back at Steve, then his words register and she looks down. In slow motion, Steve watches as her eyes grow wide in terror and she lets out a scream as the floor breaks out from under her.

All of the others yell and Steve has to drag them away from the unsafe spot, before more people follow after her. With everyone safely out of the way, he is sprinting down the steps, grateful for the years of sports that enable him to hurry as he hears Robin stumble after him.

As it turns out, Chrissy has fallen on a soft surface. There had been a bedroom under the attic and she is just fine as she lays on the bed. Steve feels like he can breathe again, while the dust – which had been on the bed – quite literally settles around them.

“Thank god,” he says partially to himself, only to notice that Chrissy is lying quite still and not responding to what has just happened to her. Worry is back immediately and Steve runs to the bed to check if she is alive or if she snapped her neck during the fall.

She is lying stock still in the center of the bed. Her eyes are rolled back, not seeing anything as she lays there. The walkman next to her is smashed to pieces, having been broken while she fell through the floor.

Chrissy is under the curse.

~~

A/N:

I am feeling evil today with that cliff hanger >:3

Btw, I’m making it a little easy on myself by sticking to the show’s plot beats, but it’s not going to be the same completely. Hopefully these chapters are enjoyable, despite being similar to season 4 itself :D

Also, I never know what to do with Nancy, bc a lot of shit she gets is thinly veiled misogyny, but she is also insane and I dislike her, while I also think she’s fascinating, so I’m trying to respect her while also not being very friendly towards her

[nedraggett]

My impossible mission!

Greetings, hello. So, today I reveal a truth: it has been almost thirty years since the first one and yet all this time I have not seen any one of the Mission: Impossible movies. Not a one. Honestly I think this is neither here nor there since everybody has any number of things you’re ‘supposed’ to be paying attention to in art/life/culture but that’s the point, everyone of us comes at that question differently. In my case, it’s a combination of my never really following actors across careers – a film interests me for other reasons and the last time I saw Cruise in a first-run anything was, I’m pretty sure, Interview With The Vampire back in 1994 – and the fact that I was generally “Hm so it’s a bunch of spy movies but he does his own stunts I hear?” which still wasn’t enough.

But time went on and I kept hearing more and more people go “No wait these are actually really good, even if he is insane.” (Insert reasons why insane here, I’m sure we all know them.) So with this new one about out and noticing they were all on Paramount+ anyway (of course I subscribe, Star Trek and Drag Race, c’mon), I figured “Well let me buy a cheap ticket to see this new one on Wednesday and meantime let me actually watch all these older ones.” Which I have done very quickly over the past week and now I share honest-to-god fresh thoughts about the first six for you here [EDIT: plus the new one -- obviously, spoilers will abound]. My summaries follow, and they’re absolutely and totally accurate. Totally.

Mission: Impossible – But Not As We Know It: It’s 1996 and gosh darn it people sure are excited about email and early Zip drives! More on that in a bit. Tom Cruise is Ethan Hunt playing a smugfuck, but when Jon Voight is your boss sometimes things rub off. They all go to Prague to live the life of post Cold War slackers and get free food at embassy parties, but after various objections most of them are killed while trying to be leet haxorz and the like, so Ethan grabs some sushi to go before another bunch of slackers can hunt him down for his haircut, but not before telling him that they’re sure he is a bad guy who sold out and sold them out. Sure hope this issue doesn’t end up being a constant in Ethan’s career, that would be very frustrating! Ethan remembers something about god and how Emmanuelle Beart is hot (understandable, really) so that leads him to first use a janky Usenet client, then an impossibly showy and memory-eating email program, and then to tell everything to Vanessa Redgrave because why wouldn’t you tell everything to Vanessa Redgrave. After asking Ving Rhames to be an imposing funny guy and Jean Reno to be stubbly, they realize they desperately need the copy of Minesweeper stored at Langley but kept in a way that mostly results in death, which they avoid aside from a rat. But best to keep your knives strapped more closely to yourselves next time, that can cause problems! Jon Voight turns out to be Not Dead but basically argues to Ethan that French people are evil and corrupt which is why they all work for him because he too is evil and corrupt, as one becomes in his stage of his career working 30 years for the state. (Wait, I’ve worked almost thirty years for A state, hold on here.) Anyway, this is a geopolitical argument Ethan objects to, for he has a good heart, and also knows something about bibles placed by the Gideons, so it’s wise to be a theologian. So now it’s time to get on the Chunnel train, get a wind machine to the face, and then after the bad people all die, arrest Vanessa Redgrave. Rude! Time to settle into a nice long nap on a plane, except Ethan remembers too late that maybe the free flight he got on IMF Airlines had some strings attached. Back to the grind! (Real talk: obviously what at the time was controversial as such – ditching all the old characters except a recast Phelps and then reveals him to be the chief asshole this time – was secretly genius, enabling both film and eventual series to keep what was transferably iconic – disguises, handwavey tech, “Your mission should you choose” setups, general skullduggery, heists and breakin schemes, credit sequences showcasing moments from the plot itself and of course the two core Lalo Schifrin themes – and drop everything else. Honestly the quietest of all the films in ways and I will credit de Palma for that, because having everything fuck up at the start and then play the afterechoes out makes Hunt, who after all is being introduced as a character here, seem unsure at times as much as he ramps up plans; the whole London hideout sequence is a good example before we hit the train at the end. Best action sequence: even though it’s anything but fast motion, it’s pretty obviously the CIA breakin, barely any dialogue, tension ratchet to the max and the clearest callback to the original series’s inspiration, Topkapi. Uncredited role: Emilio Estevez, who gets some sharp metal to the face! Wait until President Bartlet hears about that! End theme: U2’s rhythm section when they all thought they were DJs, and they make the theme 4/4 instead of 5/4 so they should be the targets of Ethan’s next mission. Rating: 3.5 out of 5 water condensation drops.)

Mission: Impossible 2 – Slow-Motion Birds: Ethan Hunt decides crawling all over big rocks that will kill him with the help of gravity is a logically relaxing way to spend a day off, but before he can get to El Capitan and film a documentary his new sunglasses talk to him because he was supposedly in a plane that crashed earlier. But surprise! It’s Dougray Scott playing Mr. We’re Quite Alike Really You And I wanting to steal some dread disease to sell to the highest bidder so everyone can probably die including himself if he’s not careful, showing that once again maybe the IMF’s real problem is a bad hiring and HR process, something that will continue to crop up. So Ethan goes to Spain to atmospherically find a required recruit and it pretty quickly turns out that both Mr. We’re Quite Alike and Ethan have a thing for skilled and notorious thief Thandiwe Newton because come on, who across the gender and sexuality spectrum WOULDN’T have a thing for Thandiwe Newton. After that it is determined that Ethan’s hair, jacket and sunglasses means he’s required to go to where The Matrix was filmed and hit all the tourist spots, including horse races where it is vitally important to track down Brendan Gleeson and tell him that acting in In Bruges will be an excellent idea. Ving Rhames and another guy pause from telling sheep dip jokes in the Outback to conclude that escaping by kangaroo is just a myth and Mr. We’re Quite Alike must be confounded before he does bad stuff, and that this all involves breaking into a building and sneaking around while avoiding dying miserably, as opposed to just opening the front door and pretending they’re looking for the toilet. Can’t they be more practical? However, Mr. We’re Quite Alike has already inhabited Ethan’s mindset and face a few times and knows his every move, so Thandiwe decides she’s had enough of both bros and injects herself with something Ethan should have just gotten rid of more quickly but he was dicking around. Typical. Mr. We’re Quite Alike turns out to be a day trader and really wants some cash so he can invest in Beanie Babies, so Ethan and friends break into a special secret place and blow shit up and swap faces and run around, to Mr. We’re Quite Alike’s nettlement. Eventually a bunch of assholes die in cars, on bridges and riding motorcycles, sometimes all at once, leaving Ethan and Mr. We’re Quite Alike to almost but not exactly kill each other until one of them finally does, Thandiwe is convinced that cliff-diving is best done in Acapulco, and eventually Ethan and Thandiwe go hang out so they can look at the Opera House and why the fuck did the universe keep us from having them be the power couple for the rest of the films to follow, come on now. (Real talk: the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom of the series, I guess? Pretty obviously John Woo making a John Woo film and that’s why the birds, the fights, two evenly matched types in the end and so forth. But really, isn’t it kinda obvious – especially given the disguise/swapped personality motifs – that Dougray Scott should have been replaced with Woo veteran Nic Cage? The final showdown alone would probably still be talked about if it was Cage in maniac mode, he probably would have wanted to actually ride some of the bullets he shot and they would have made it work, I just know it. And, let’s face it, Cruise and Newton have a screen chemistry that WORKS. Best action sequence: the end insanity is admittedly great but I do especially like the building breakin and then subsequent fuckup, it’s simultaneously almost what you expect and ‘are you kidding me right now,’ which is key, really. Uncredited role: Anthony Hopkins as a black turtleneck sex cult guru pretending to be an IMF leader, because why wouldn’t he be. End theme: I had seriously almost forgotten that probably one of the most important things in the history of recorded music – Metallica’s freakout about Napster that brought the concept of file-sharing to the mainstream and essentially fully transmogrified the business for the literal next century – was due to their ‘are we nu-metal now?’ contribution to the end, talk about an aural beauty mark. Rating: 2.5 out of 5 physics-defying kicks because while it’s still great and all, in fucking up things with Thandiwe Newton’s experience of filming, the M:I machine lost the perfect foil and the chance to fully go into a Hollywood action equivalent to Lupin III with her as a Fujiko Mine for the rest of the series, nothing against Rebecca Ferguson you understand. Or I guess Michelle Monaghan but SPEAKING OF WHICH…)

Mission: Impossible 3 – Conventional Heterosexual Matrimony: *pulls Rainer Wolfcastle pose and shouts to the sky* “ABRAAAAAAAAAAMS!” Jesus Christ. Okay no, it’s not a disaster really but good Christ almighty. Anyway, fine: flashforward aside where we all realize “Wait can’t we just watch Philip Seymour Hoffman kill people instead?”, Ethan Hunt realizes that settling down in a polite suburb with the world’s most polite and fake-laughy engagement party happening is a really dull way to spend any more time so he goes to the local drug store and asks Billy Crudup “PLEASE get me the fuck out of here, what was I thinking.” Billy Crudup obliges but needs to let him know that he will be dealing with puzzlebox bullshit at the end of it all but such is Ethan’s desperation that Crudup says “Fine, you and Ving go rescue Felicity with the help of Maggie Q and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers” and before Ethan can say “Isn’t that a little on the nose for the mid-2000s” it’s off to Berlin and Felicity’s head exploding a bit, ah well. Laurence Fishburne in his floating across franchises role as Mr. Authority gets mad but Billy Crudup says nice things so obviously Billy’s the real bad guy and what do you know, turns out later he is! Doesn’t Ethan get briefed on this stuff? Anyway, newcomer Simon Pegg, having noted that Ving’s got a pretty sweet deal going, decides to join the early retirement plan on offer, though he’s still working up the ranks by creating Myspace profiles. Ultimately Philip Seymour Hoffman is just too damn charismatic and good an actor so logically he must be captured. Ethan and Rhys-Meyers need to play stereotypical Italians in traffic, to the point where I was surprised their disguise was as DHL guys rather than singing pizza delivery dudes or something, and then they and Maggie and Ving avoid stealing all the Pope’s secrets and the lists of child abusers he’s protecting or whatever in favor of an instant makeover, because it’s all Spy Eye for the M:I around here. Sadly everyone finds out that Virginia is not for lovers, unless you love blowing up bridges, and Ethan gets suspected of being bad again. He definitely has a real problem with that issue, he should talk to somebody about it, like Billy Crudup, and then he runs away because he’s good at that for sure. Anyway Michelle Monaghan got kidnapped, shanghaied if you will, so Ethan laughs politely at Hoffman’s little joke and notes that diving off a tall Chinese building is really fun at night, especially with the help of an automatic pitching machine. Sadly he eventually gets himself kidnapped and outacted by Hoffman demonstrating that he demands better of his minions, leaving Eddie Marsan to go “Wait, am I in this movie?” and Crudup to try and explain that W’s foreign policy is Good, Actually, which Ethan is not pleased with. Pegg helps Ethan run around a lot, alas Hoffman discovers that the laws of physics means he is not in fact an immovable object, and Monaghan saves Ethan with the power of love, because it makes one man weep but another man sing. (Real talk: fucking Abrams, thank god he just retreated to producing and occasional “I have an idea” stuff for the series after this because otherwise the rest of this watch would be a slog. Yes, he can make a solid entertainment at times, he’s done it more than once, but more than anything else in this series this REALLY felt like an extended TV episode of something, not even just Alias. It didn’t help that Michael Giacchino’s music added a lot of sap in the solo-piano moments that are waaaaaaay of their time and place, and I’m mildly surprised a cover of “Hallelujah” didn’t happen at some point. Still the machine itself functioned and while it was still going to need some improvements, I guess it started to figure exactly what M:I as continuing star vehicle needed to be – it’s weird to realize that this IS indeed the only George W. era film of the bunch and it sure does feel like his second term on any number of levels. Also, thank god there were delays on production because Simon Pegg’s role was originally cast with Ricky Fucking Gervais, and I don’t care if Pegg’s not quite your thing because imagine if we had THAT gurning fucking mug to deal with in the rest of the series. Best action sequence: thankfully the whole deal in Rome is pretty engaging, and we get the delightful moment of Philip Seymour Hoffman literally having to act as Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt and thus climbing around and doing shit, the film is honestly worth it for that, and RIP to him once more. But honorable mention to the counterintuitive move of not showing anything inside the Shanghai skyscraper once Ethan gets in. Uncredited role: nobody this time but yeah that WAS Aaron Paul wasn’t it. End theme: WOW speaking of mid-2000s, a Kanye track with Twista and Keyshia Cole? Perhaps they realized after this that just going with random cuts and otherwise sticking with the score in the actual end credits was the solution. Rating: 2 out of 5 confused Greg Grunbergs.)

Mission: Impossible 4 – I Climb Thing: Hmm, a movie set in Hungary, Russia, Dubai AND Mumbai? Why this won’t be a problematic watch in 2023! In a surely not symbolic move at all, Sawyer from Lost runs out of a building into the street and is immediately killed by Lea Seydoux. I like this movie already! Ethan Hunt meantime is prepping mentally for a nude fight scene with Viggo Mortensen at some point but is interrupted by Paula Patton and Simon Pegg going “WOULD YOU JUST” so he concludes Dean Martin is just the thing for a prison riot. (Seems like it.) Turns out Paula is sad about Sawyer, but before anyone can ask her to take a psych eval, they are asked to break into the Kremlin for thievery reasons, the concept of ‘too much too soon’ having escaped the IMF. Sadly our Big Bad just beat them to the punch and then proceeds to blow up a big chunk of the Kremlin, which rather irritates the Russian government, leading Ethan to excuse himself before facing a full medical exam without anesthetic and with certain instruments. An actual IMF Secretary explains some more things to Ethan but puts himself in the line of a bullet completely by accident, isn’t that the way! Jeremy Renner insists it wasn’t him because he would use a bow and arrow but Ethan isn’t amused and everyone meets up to go over the fact that they’re now disavowed and without resources except for a train car that would supply most modern governments and the ability to end up in Dubai just like that, very handy. There’s a big shady deal going down but it had nothing to do with the Qatar World Cup bid, whatever do you mean, they’re over there. Regardless, Ethan seeks to make sure Sepp Blatter doesn’t immediately get the launch codes to destroy the DOJ Anti-Corruption Unit, but not before he shows everyone how a real man washes hotel windows. Everyone then seeks to double cross everyone else, which only makes sense, though Lea sadly has irritated Paula some and thoughts are exchanged, except Jeremy goes “Ah fuck it” and uses a gun even though it’s very uncivilized. Ethan runs after a bad guy who is another bad guy, then they go talk to another bad guy who is a good guy who acts like a bad guy to deal with a good bad guy. Heads spinning, they fly to Mumbai and finally Ethan gets to be James Bond! Or at least wear a tux. Dudes get negged, other dudes die, cars drive, people run around, and the bad guy persuades a Russian sub to destroy San Francisco, which causes me consternation I admit. Happily Ethan really has honed his ‘I just need one second, really’ approach, so only the Transamerica building is nicked, but the missile lands right in the water where my sis and her whaleboat rowing crew often practice and that would have been tragic! Hey fuck you Ethan Hunt, do better next time! (Real talk: okay, whatever groundwork Abrams sorta laid down obviously gets perfected here, Brad Bird and team just make this thing sing, something indicated by returning to a version the opening credits style of the show and the first movie, and while the fine tuning of the ensemble wasn’t quite there yet it was much closer than it was, while the full sense of “Oh wait, Tom Cruise really MIGHT actually die” as a marketing hook was now absolutely in place. A quietly genius move NOT to have the chief villain be a big presence, instead someone always just about slipping from their grasp up until the end; meantime, having everything constantly trip them up – even after the Kremlin/Secretary thing, the mask machine breaks down, everyone arrives at the Burj too early, etc. etc. – allows for more thinking on the fly instead of just being a well-oiled machine. While there were plenty of typical comedy moments here and there in a formulaic ‘gotta break tension’ way in the first three films, I honestly believe it’s Cruise’s “No SHIT” moment in the Burj which points the way to the rest of the series knowing how to make comedy actually work from there on in. There’s just enough distance to maybe be able to place it as a mid-Obama era film now in retrospect but it still feels like we’re in the actual sense of these films knowing what they are at last based on where everything would go, as opposed to the formative years. In essence, this was the point in my watch where I went “Oh I get it now” in full, and the fact that the movies started rolling out more regularly, however driven by Cruise going “Wait I’m not getting any younger,” makes total sense. Best action sequence: Dubai obv., part climbing madness, part caper, part shootout and part “Can a man actually outrun a sandstorm?” Uncredited roles: Tom Hollander going “If Hopkins can do it so can I” and Ving Rhames and Michelle Monaghan going “Uh we’re still here, thanks.” Rating: 4.5 out of 5 insufficiently charged climbing gloves.)

Mission: Impossible 5 – Fasten Your Nonexistent Seatbelts: Ethan Hunt suddenly realizes he doesn’t need to check any luggage and happily just makes the last seat on a flight out, though sadly there’s no real time for any drinks service. Annoyed, he decides to leave with their cocktail mixes, for which he is thanked. Suitably relaxed, he goes to a London record store to pickup a Crosley turntable for his Record Store Day purchases, accidentally resulting in the backing up of a bunch of pressings for starving younger bands. As it happens, Ian Curtis is there already looking for a particular bootleg pressing of early demos by Warsaw, so when Ethan scratches the last remaining copy Ian makes his feelings known, adding “All you agents beware.” Lady Jessica almost gets a chance to use the gom jabbar on Ethan but various Sardaukar claim precedence, making Jessica realize that Ethan is perhaps actually the Kwisatz Haderach instead. In Washington, wouldn’t you know it, Ethan’s being accused of being a contrary asshole AGAIN, doesn’t his union step up for him? OG Jack Ryan says the IMF fucks around too much instead of doing proper agent stuff like getting on a submarine in the middle of the Atlantic while Jeremy Renner desperately hopes he won’t be asked about his side gig with the Bourne group. Simon Pegg has had enough of his regular performance reviews and agrees that he needs to relax but confuses a Vienetta with Vienna, but Ethan doesn’t mind and promises him some Phish Food later. Lady Jessica, having been told by the Bene Gesserit to stop fucking around with the Face Dancers and vice versa, complicates matters as do two random Teutons but the show must go on, except the explosive climax is unplanned. Ving Rhames and Renner are too old for this kind of shit but they’re off to Morocco where Ethan really really wants to finally ride a sandworm. Lady Jessica tells Ethan that fear may be the mind-killer but that Ian Curtis desperately wants the master tape for Unknown Pleasures kept in one of the secret Fremen water storage tanks. Everyone proceeds to betray and/or chase everyone else, a perfect excuse for eventually remaking Easy Rider at 200 mph. Thankfully Simon Pegg made a DAT copy but the master tape itself is erased, leading Ian Curtis to swear revenge on behalf of Martin Hannett, kidnapping Pegg and forcing him to listen to muddy Crawling Chaos bootlegs and thus requiring Ethan to deal with the UK Prime Minister as ultimate keeper of all Factory records, except the movie came out a couple of weeks after the Brexit vote so most would have just given up David Cameron to him anyway. Ethan taunts Ian Curtis by driving up the prices of OG vinyl pressings of “Transmission” on eBay as he and Lady Jessica force him to go to the center of the city where all roads meet, looking for them. In the end Ian Curtis is lured into a third stage Guild Navigator’s breathing chamber on Lady Jessica’s suggestion and is captured, as the confusion in his eyes says it all. (Real talk: the Christopher McQuarrie years begin and pretty much all the pieces are about in place now in terms of a core ensemble with moments of variety after; if Bird set the template and tempo for where it all should go then McQuarrie had a perfect handle on how to make all the implicit nonsense make perfect sense in the moment, all while once again finding new ways to kill Tom Cruise or nearly so. One of the best signs came early: the opening credit sequence is now truly a ‘greatest hits’ series of clips of what we’re about to see as per past show and first movie practice, quick, immediate, gives away nothing, sets expectations up. Rebecca Ferguson absolutely brought some necessary energy as well, she and Cruise clearly click in a ‘yeah our characters could fuck’ sense that Newton absolutely had with Cruise and Monaghan just doesn’t (even though it’s clearly shown in 3 that they’re the only characters that did, go figure!). Sean Harris as our chief baddie and implicit Blofeld to Hunt’s Bond is another sharp move, a classic cold English villain who you absolutely want to see get fucked up more than once. Alec Baldwin mostly grouses but hey. Best action sequence: oh Casablanca easy, from the planning the raid on the storage facility to the end of the motorcycle chase, barely any pauses, the whole thing’s a marvel. Rating: 4.5 out of 5 lathe-cut terrorist messages.)

Mission: Impossible 6: Free Mustache Rides – Ethan Hunt is trying to enjoy a nice relaxing dream but Ian Curtis keeps telling him “This is the way, step inside,” and it’s not helping. Ethan is told that three pawnshop balls have been repainted and are being auctioned to the highest bidder, which just shows you how tough the economy continues to be. Sadly the usual exchange of niceties between him and his crew and a generic arms dealer turns out to be an issue due to a bunch of raincoat-wearing Curtis followers insisting there’s a third Joy Division album somewhere. After Ving Rhames skins Wolf Blitzer alive and stuffs Simon Pegg into his pelt, they fool the Norwegian Unabomber and it’s off to Pari–no wait a minute, Angela Bassett employs her low voice against Jack Ryan’s rasp and insists that for the balance between the Big Two that Superman come along, since Jeremy Renner is somewhere upstate checking out on a family that mysteriously dissolved. This Superman, using the cover name Mr. I’m Obviously Going To Betray You, seems more Bizarro-like when he leaps out of a plane and reenacts that one The Dark Knight Rises image with the lightning but Ethan demonstrates that there’s more than one way to crash a party. Working their way through a crowd of pleasures and wayward distractions trying to find Vanessa Redgrave’s daughter Vanessa Kirby of the House of Vanessa, Superman explains he’s trying for a Tom of Finland look but a bunch of French bros laugh in the bathroom and ask when he’s going to the Kingsman auditions and things get complicated. Luckily Lady Jessica is back, and wants to know if Ethan’s just trying to fold space again. Turns out Kirby is in deep cover as amoral blonde Princess Margaret and everyone’s trying to kill her, we can’t have that! She tells Ethan and Superman they have about twenty four hours to spring Ian Curtis if they want the pawnshop balls, and while Ethan realized he wanted time this puts things in perspective. Happily everyone is distracted just right except when they aren’t and a bunch of French people on all sides of the law are angry, time to go! Ian Curtis gets sprung by Simon Pegg, who asks him to sign the Sordide Sentimentale single since they are in France and all, while Lady Jessica shows that Fremen needle guns are good but lasguns might have been better. Logically since everyone’s in Paris they go to London, presumably inside the train this time. OG Jack Ryan is irritated and everyone leaves but Superman confronts Ian Curtis and says “I tried, please believe me, I’m doing the best that I can!” Whoops! Turns out Simon Pegg wanted Superman’s autograph too, but the Curtis fanatics break in after a further triple double dog dare cross and ol’ Jack is left stuck to a flagpole by his tongue, but thank you for your service. Ethan gets his jogging in for the day but Superman flies off to say he stands for truth, justice and the American way but he means the Zack Snyder version so he’s just going to kill everyone instead. Time to crawl around Kashmir before this happens and Michelle Monaghan is there! She’s doing good things! She’d like to catch up over coffee but Ethan notes that he has to pick up his DoorDash delivery assignment within fifteen minutes or he’ll lose his star ratings. Grabbing a helicopter to chase down Superman, who has a competitive route, he leaves Lady Jessica and Simon Pegg to fight Ian Curtis, who complains that the noose around the place is cheap irony, while Michele chats with Ving a bit while adding “Should that be ticking?” Various Things Happen but in the end Ethan remembers “Oh hold on I DO climb rocks don’t I” and taunts Superman by quoting Blues Traveler’s “Hook” at him, which shows he is no better than Benjamin Bratt in Poker Face, the fiend. Still, all three sections of the team simultaneously score Taylor Swift tickets, the world is saved from a fakeout ending, Ian Curtis is left to be a middle-aged man with the weight on his shoulders, Michelle gives Ethan her blessing to apparently make suggestive crysknife jokes to Lady Jessica, and everyone’s happy forever! [Editor’s note: this was later shown to be false.] (Real talk: I really do get what everyone was saying now about how, in a real upending of expectations when it comes to open-ended franchises starting big and petering out, Fallout might well have been the best of the movies to that point. It felt like everyone had everything absolutely down by now, from McQuarrie to the stunt teams to the actors, all the comic moments landed even better than in the last one and those were pretty solid, and for the first time points of continuity from the previous film all have an impact, whether it be the performances of Harris, Baldwin and Ferguson in particular or things like returning composer Lorne Balfe’s musical score, which is easily some of the best of the whole sequence and for once shows a composer working to contrast the Schifrin themes rather than simply shade and riff on them – the various well-employed fakeout/dream sequence sections get soundtracked with this melancholy and ominous chill, a solid move. Hell, even the call back to the rock climbing of M:I 2 made sense because it didn’t have to be explained at all, and it settled the Monaghan arc too in a way that was both obvious for plot mechanics and strangely sweet. Though I kept expecting her new guy to be an Apostle undercover, which was probably the point. Henry Cavill and Kirby were both perfect additions to the overall pool in turn, and the point a friend of mine made the other day that this movie feels the starkest of the bunch – like there’s a tiny group of people at the forefront and all the huge city populations around them are distanced and serene – is apt. Best action sequence: honestly this almost felt like a response film to Mad Max: Fury Road because it barely seemed like it broke for anything. For once the ending felt absolutely earned rather than a ‘we gotta end it because the script is over’ necessity but the actual best sequence is probably the Paris crash/chase/crash etc. deal, though shout out to the bathroom fight as the first near wordless sequence since the CIA breakin in the original movie. Rating: 5 out of 5 Cavill sleeve tugs.)

[EDIT: IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE NEWEST MOVIE YET, STOP READING HERE, Y’KNOW?]

Mission Impossible 7: And Under The Polar Cap Bind Them -- Somewhere in the Arctic a Russian submarine attempts to reenact The Hunt For Red October except nobody told them that they’d be playing the part of the actual sub that was blown up, a minor detail. This is less important than our introduction to the newest ensemble cast member, back after a lengthy retirement, Sauron! Sauron, ladies and gentlemen, let’s give him a round of applause. Ethan Hunt is in Amsterdam chilling so logically he’s got the munchies, only to be told that Lady Jessica hijacked a spice shipment and the Guild is pissed. Near Sietch Tabr, Lady Jessica busies herself with speeding up the irrigation process with some fresh fertilizer, but Ethan suggests letting it lie fallow for a bit. At ComicCon, Hall H is full of bloggers trying to figure out how to use typewriters while backstage there’s an argument about if they can do anything now that the strike’s on. Ethan asks everyone to pardon his stinkbomb but meantime deals with the guy who was chasing after him back in the first movie. He’s his boss now, time for wacky hijinks! It’s straight back to Dune with Ving Rhames and Simon Pegg, only for them to realize that they can’t escape ComicCon no matter how hard they try because Deathstroke, Mantis AND Agent Carter are all there stealing and/or stalking them and each other, not to mention the members of an official US antimasking squad who seem bitter that not everyone agrees with the science they really did study themselves. Turns out Mantis isn’t interested in feelings so much as other people feeling dead, which Deathstroke approves of, while Agent Carter has fallen prey to kleptomania, it’s one of those days! Off to Italy where, when in Rome, Ethan does what the Romans do and becomes an impossibly polished and fashionable lawyer just like that, while Deathstroke shows that it’s always vital to carry out research. Agent Carter is narrowly sprung from her plan to simultaneously enter all the national competitions for next year’s Eurovision all at once, but then pretty much every moving vehicle in the city and the occupants and riders therein decide that she and Ethan will jaywalk no more. A typical day in Rome, granted, but their sweet ride seems a little sour while Mantis is very annoyed someone cut her antennae off and wants to explain this with weapons. Agent Carter decides to check in on whatever Hank Pym is doing these days but Lady Jessica is back, having had a refreshing time on Caladan. Turns out Princess Margaret is throwing a big party in Venice so who wouldn’t go there next, and she’s invited everyone! Ethan, Lady Jessica, Agent Carter, Deathstroke, why even Mantis is there but she’s dressed as Harley Quinn and the ComicCon crew doesn’t know what to think. Sauron shows up as well demanding the smallest of things, a mere trifle, and Deathstroke reveals he’s actually the Witchking of Angmar and would like to help kill everyone, but Ethan realizes that the DJ is driving him nuts and he needs some fresh air, a touch the antimaskers still don’t get. Harley Mantis insists it’s actually an Adam Ant tribute but Ethan argues she seems more My Chemical Romance, but sadly Lady Jessica gets stabbed with a Morgul-blade. Ving needs to update his antivirus software while Agent Carter decides that maybe this bunch isn’t as Hydra-ridden as SHIELD. An attempt to combine Murder On The Orient Express with a gender-flipped The Prince and the Pauper proceeds to play out, while Ethan insists to Simon Pegg that he has a totally legit FastPass for the newest Disney ride, though he’s still arguing some of the details as he goes. Wait, a fight on top of a train again, at least there’s no tunnel this timAAAAADUCKDOWNQUICK! The Witchking rues the day magic was invented, Ethan and Agent Carter are relieved that Mantis appreciates a good turn done, and elsewhere Sauron wonders if a tower would be a better hiding spot. Tune in next week year for more! (Real talk: so having taken all the other films in in a rush I did wonder how exactly the pacing would work for this one as a two-part story, and I think they handled it pretty smartly; it’s not as high a peak as McQuarrie’s two previous efforts but it doesn’t have to be as a result. Instead of the near wall-to-wall rush of the past two, there’s a much more deliberate pace here, which oddly enough (but, if the original plan of this being the capping off of the series holds, logically as well) is one of several callbacks to the original film throughout. Henry Czerny as Kittridge most obviously, also all the sleight of hand stuff, and easily most notably Ilsa Faust’s death, the first time a team member (as such) has died since said first film. There’s one other interesting move where, for the first time in the entire series, we get a sense of what Ethan Hunt was like before the IMF -- it’s all fairly tropey, but by not exploring that at all until now it actually feels like an earned moment. My sense of what’s happening is that this is the big setup and the concluding film will be full-on action madness, and the tinges of haunted chill in the last one have a stronger resonance here -- the introductory sequence for Hunt is pretty damn bleak for a start, and after Faust’s death you get a sense of everyone going through the motions for a bit, not as actors, but as people hit with a sudden loss would do, and the film takes a little time to understandably breathe. The absolutely killer sense of how to make comedy work continues: the entire Rome chase scene is just as amazing as that as it is straight action, while the capping insane stunt as teased in the trailers, Hunt going off the cliff, is also the culmination of a ridiculously perfect dialogue between Cruise and Pegg, and I literally laughed at how the stunt ended, all while the tension in the train scenes was building up. And yet, none of it undercuts the action, the sense of time running out -- indeed, so good was all that that when the cliff setting first appeared I was actually surprised by it, even though it was so heavily featured beforehand as noted. I joke about Sauron but seriously, not only is the Entity just one big eye, and also a bit of a One Ring type thing too, the whole setup where instead of letting other governments control Ethan will set out to destroy it is VERY Lord of the Rings, so I think it’s more key to all this than might be guessed. But oddly enough, perhaps, I will argue there’s a specific Bond film you all should go back and check out -- the first one I ever saw, and Roger Moore’s best tougher turn wih the character, 1981′s For Your Eyes Only. That too notably has a Macguffin centered on advanced tech on a wrecked ship, there’s a car chase with a very unsuitable car early on, and how the film ends feels not dissimilar to where this likely will be leading in the conclusion next year. Just a hunch! When it comes to newer cast members, Pom Klementieff is mostly a wordless killer and whether or not you buy the end twist as such, hey, but she does a good enough job, while Esai Morales -- been great to see more of him recently, he did a solid supporting turn in The Master Gardener earlier this year, and he has one of the most underrated speaking voices in acting -- is just a coolly commanding bad guy in the right mode, solid casting and I think better as a more grizzled and equal figure to Hunt than Nicholas Hoult would have been, as was first the case. Hayley Atwell pretty obviously is the main get and you do get a sense of a calm spark with Cruise but, given the film’s plot, no more than that for now, and she holds her own as someone who clearly has done a lot of shit but quickly realizes she’s dealing with a whole new level of it. While I’m a touch suspicious that there’s a feeling of rotating actresses and in out with Rebecca Ferguson’s departure after this -- I will absolutely miss her but I’m glad we had enough of her as we did -- that comment I made back in my M:I 2 review about how Thandiwe Newton could have made the series of a hell of a Lupin III riff? Well here we are with another accomplished career criminal and hell the Rome car chase is centered around a yellow Fiat 500, what more of a nod could you have! Shea Whigham and Greg Tarzan Davis pretty clearly feel escaped from a more typical buddy cop setup but it doesn’t break anything, and I do like the office politics grouchiness from Whigham about the IMF ‘clowns.’ Meantime kinda great to see Kirby get to do the playing-someone-playing-someone-else big turn this time, and I’m totally thrilled to see she’ll be back in part two, she’s a fun elegant chaos factor character. Best action sequence: you know, I’m not entirely sure! Again I think the actual best ones we’re going to get in part two so it felt a hair held back at points, but the Rome chase sequence was both amazing and funny as noted, the alley fight with Pom K. pretty brutal if relatively quick, and the train tension/chase/fight/bomb buildup to wrap it up was a smart spot to end on. Rating: 4 out of 5 cigarette lighters.)

In sum and speaking regularly: so yeah, whatever impulse Cruise, producers and everyone else had early on and whatever their thoughts were about how it might go, basically finding the sweet spot between the James Bond model and the Jack Ryan technophilia was a clear stroke of commercial genius, and rather than being beholden to an original show’s requirements/feel they blew everything up to make it their own while never truly abandoning the idea that people will happily shell out for damn good capers writ large. The Schrifin themes absolutely help anchor everything; the main theme is so perfectly balanced between being playful and being intense that on top of being an instant earworm it always conveys the sense that we’re here to be entertained first and foremost. It’s the Bond theme factor certainly and just as powerful. Ethan Hunt is barely a shell of a character, more just a creature as monomaniacal at succeeding in his job as Cruise himself is, so it’s a symbiotic fit. In terms of Hollywood action franchises he’s now played this character in more movies than any of the Bond or the Ryan actors, or Willis as McClane or Stallone as Rambo or Schwarznegger as the Terminator etc, and is as much a superhero as anything in DC/Marvel but, not seen to be as ‘class’ as Bond and actually stumbling and limping at times, retains just enough of humanity, even if more like an alien in a human costume, which would be appropriate. There’s enough ‘are we the bad guys?’ moments going around that you can feel duly critical about the IMF (and implicitly ‘Western interests’ if you will) but of course the story and the perceived audience never wants them to be REALLY bad, it’s all those other ones trying to fuck up Ethan that are the problem. Ving Rhames is the comfortable set of shoes for everything, and that Luther seems to have more of a life than Ethan is so not surprising; Simon Pegg turned out to be a perfect accidental X factor, the ‘goofy’ guy who isn’t a hateable comic relief type; once they finally realized they absolutely needed someone like Rebecca Ferguson too and then cast her, the rest was gravy; transitioning from her to Hayley Atwell brings a different energy but keeps a solid dynamic that I think will hold into the next film. And then after? Guess we’ll see!

[hollandorks]

middle of the night

battinson!bruce wayne x f!reader

chapter two

summary:  y/n’s life changes immensely, starting with the Batman falling out of the sky right in front of her and ending with a promising new job at Wayne Manor. As her life intertwines with that of both Batman and Bruce Wayne, she begins to figure out that there’s more to both than meets the eye.  No spoilers for the Batman movie.

a/n: thanks everyone for loving this fic so much after just one chapter! This chapter is just filler/ foundational stuff. The next two chapters after this will be a lot more interesting I promise. I thrive off reader feedback so please feel free to drop a comment, ask, or even yell in the tags if you reblog! I’m also creating a taglist I’ll update with every chapter so let me know if you want to be added to that. 

Series Masterlist 

word count: 3572

But he was gone. Armor and all. The front door was still locked and–there, at the window, a shadow.

Batman was gone.

Y/n spent the next week going over every single detail of that night. For two nights, she stared up at the signal against the clouds and hoped for a glimpse of him. She told no one of their encounter and went along with life as usual. But she couldn’t stop thinking about how Gotham’s protector had been in her apartment. How real he had been. The flesh and blood beneath the suit. She’d always known there was a man under there, but now she’d gotten a glimpse of him. The real man. The real Batman.

A week after her encounter with Batman, there was a new job posting. 

For Wayne Manor. 

It was just for a housekeeping position, but still sent a little thrill up her spine when she saw it. There were going to be scheduled interviews–by appointment only–for the next week at the Wayne Enterprises offices. No pay information was available, but she didn’t care. Anything was better than what she had. 

The official company wasn’t hiring, but apparently Bruce Wayne himself was. 

She immediately sent in her resume. Anything was better than working at the club. Well, almost anything. But she much preferred cleaning up after one spoiled rich man than a whole bunch of drunk and handsy ones. Plus the manor was huge. She could escape from one handsy rich man easily enough in a space that big. 

Anything, anything to help pay off her debts. And if the hours worked out, she could still work at the club sometimes too. Two jobs would be much better than one. She doubted, too, that the Penguin would let her go so easily. 

Plus she’d been in culinary school for a few months before her mother got sick. She hoped that made her application valuable enough for Bruce Wayne. She really doubted she would get the position. Applying and hoping was better than suffocating at the Iceberg Lounge most nights. 

Within a day, her appointment for an interview was confirmed, much to her surprise.

The day of her interview, she dressed carefully in her best business attire, packed up an extra copy of her resume, and headed towards Wayne Enterprises. 

The weather had finally dried enough for the subways to run again. She was glad, because it was starting to drizzle outside again, though the weathermen were confident it would only last into the afternoon. She had never missed the sun so much. 

Wayne Enterprises was a huge, towering building. She wondered briefly why Bruce Wayne didn’t hold the interviews at Wayne Manor. He didn’t have much to do with Wayne Enterprises these days from what she heard on the news. But then again, he probably didn’t want a bunch of strangers traipsing through his empty home trying to steal a glimpse of his private life. 

She gave her name to the receptionist on the ground floor to sign in. The receptionist guided her to a bank of elevators and to the third floor. 

The elevator doors slid open to reveal a hallway where at least another dozen people waited to be interviewed. As she took a seat in the only open space, a door at the end of the hallway opened and a girl quickly hurried out. She got into the elevator without a word and was gone. 

Name after name was called. Even with appointments for interviews, y/n was surprised at the number of people here. Mostly women. She thought Bruce Wayne would have been a lot more selective off the cuff. 

Some of the other women waiting whispered among themselves. Most craned their necks every time the doors opened and closed, hoping to catch a glimpse of the elusive billionaire. Y/n listened to their idle gossip without participating. She didn’t care about Bruce Wayne. Just the job. 

“Do you think he’s hiring based on looks?” one woman asked with a smirk as she tugged her low cut shirt even lower. Y/n hoped he wasn’t. Mostly because that was what guys like the Penguin did. 

“I wonder how much I could get for a photo of him from TMZ,” another woman said. There was a chorus of nervous laughs. But they’d had to surrender their cell phones at the security checkpoint inside the front door, to be collected at the reception desk after their interviews. 

When her name was finally called, y/n stood on shaky legs. 

She entered the office to find an older man. He had salt and pepper hair, the beginnings of a beard, and was dressed immaculately. His clothes held no wrinkles or lint. He even had cufflinks at his wrists that glimmered as they caught the light. 

“Have a seat,” he said in a pleasantly accented voice. “I’m Alfred Pennyworth, Mr. Wayne’s butler, assistant, and longtime guardian. I’ll be conducting your interview today.” 

Y/n wasn’t sure whether or not she was disappointed that Bruce Wayne wasn’t there. This guy seemed much more professional anyways, and she figured–if she got the job–she’d work with him more than Bruce Wayne. From what she understood of household staff from period dramas on TV, butlers were basically in charge of all staff. At least, she thought so. This butler was also apparently important enough to represent Bruce Wayne’s interests and conduct all interviews. 

He started by telling her the job requirements, most of which required discretion, several NDA contracts, and regular hours during the week. Then he asked her all kinds of typical job interview questions, went over her resume, and asked what her expectations were for pay and benefits. He didn’t even stumble over her listed position at the Iceberg Lounge despite it’s bad reputation. 

When she told him the pay she’d like to make–after having looked up several similar enough jobs online–Alfred Pennyworth smiled. 

And then he countered with a much more generous offer.

“I have to say, I really think I’ve found the person for the position,” he continued, as if her heart rate wasn’t high enough already. “I’ll have to clear it with Mr. Wayne first of course, but your application seems very promising.” He smiled kindly. 

“I–thank you–wow, thank you,” she stuttered. She stood and shook his hand eagerly. “You have no idea how much this means to me. Really.” 

“I do have to finish the rest of the day’s interviews, but I really do think we’ve found what we need in you. I’ll give you a call tomorrow most likely, as long as Mr. Wayne is amenable.” Alfred stood and gestured to the door. 

Y/n hesitated and then blurted, “Why me?” She immediately clamped her mouth shut. Heat settled in her cheeks. “I’m sorry–I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I just…my resume doesn’t exactly scream prior experience.” 

Alfred seemed to soften a bit. “My dear, you seem plenty qualified. And, most importantly, you’re the only one who didn’t ask after Mr. Wayne upon seeing myself. Privacy and discretion are very important to him, and so far everyone else has failed to uphold those values from the start. Or failed the background check.” He chuckled. “I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know if the position is yours.” 

She thanked him again, profusely, and walked to the elevators with her head in the clouds. 

The job wasn’t hers yet, not for sure, but she couldn’t help the bubble of hope that grew in her chest. With the hours and the pay and the benefits…she would be doing so, so well. She could still work at the club one or two nights on the weekend, and her debts would be paid off in–she quickly tried to do the mental math. Two years, maybe. And that was if she found a nicer apartment to rent. If she continued living in her shitty apartment, she’d be paid up with the Penguin even sooner. 

The next morning she received a call from an unknown number. 

“Hello, y/n speaking,” she answered breathlessly. 

“Good morning,” Alfred Pennyworth’s warm voice answered. “I’m calling to formally offer you a position working at Wayne Manor.” 

Y/n clamped down a squeal of delight before it could escape. “Yes, I accept. Absolutely. I–you have no idea how much I need this job, thank you.” 

“You haven’t even heard the full offer yet, dear,” Alfred said with a light laugh. “Mr. Wayne would like to not only offer you the pay we discussed yesterday, but also health benefits and…well, I understand it’s rather unusual, but he also offered one of our many guest rooms for your use. You would still work the same hours, but live on the property.” 

Her jaw fell open with an audible pop. “I–That’s very generous of Mr. Wayne, but I couldn’t possibly afford–”

“Rent free, of course,” Alfred continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “And it would not be deducted from your pay either. In Mr. Wayne’s words, he has too much unused space to let it go to waste. Besides, the rest of the staff live on the property as well, myself included.” 

Something in the way he said it clicked in y/n’s brain. “You mean Mr. Wayne wants to keep an eye on everyone to better protect his privacy. Don’t you?” Hastily she added, “I don’t mean to be rude in saying that.” 

“No, not rude at all, but perceptive. Yes, I do believe that that is Mr. Wayne’s thinking in his offer. That, and he is actually quite generous, once you get to know him. No need to accept the offer right away. You have my direct number. Please let us know by next Monday your decision, in case we need to fill the position elsewhere.” 

Brain whirring a mile a minute, she said, “No. I mean, yes, I accept. When can I start?” 

Rent free and not deducted from her pay. Health benefits. Regular hours. Weekends off. Living in a fucking mansion. It was almost too good to be true. 

As long as Bruce Wayne didn’t turn out to be a creep, peeping Tom, or a rapist, it was exactly the life-changing thing she needed. 

“I can pick you up Monday, give you time to pack and get your affairs in order. Unless you need to work out a two week notice with a previous employer?” 

“No, I’m–Monday is perfect. Thank you so much.” She gave Alfred her address, then hung up.

Things were really, really starting to look up. 

That weekend, she requested a meeting with the Penguin to explain her new job situation and that she wasn’t quitting, just cutting back her hours to pay her debt off more quickly. 

If shit was going to hit the fan, it would be in this meeting. The Penguin wasn’t a nice guy. She knew that firsthand already. But surely, hopefully, he loved money enough to let her do this in exchange for paying him more quickly. She didn’t care if he raised her debts a little, either. Anything to get out from under his thumb more quickly. 

But all the Penguin did was lean back on his plush leather couch and look her over with a smirk. “Sucked Bruce Wayne’s dick for a job, did ya? I thought you were too good for that sort of thing. Oh well, good for you. Remember that I charge three percent interest on my debts, though. And if you forget…” He glanced over at the thug who’d slapped her the night of the incident with the spilled drink and the handsy man. 

Y/n clenched her teeth so tightly it hurt. It doesn’t matter what he thinks, she told herself, but she hated the idea that a rumor might spread about her working for Bruce Wayne just because the Penguin was a scumbag. 

“Yes, sir, I understand. Three percent interest. Thank you for your generosity.” Because that’s what he wanted, what he liked. The ass-kissing. The gratitude. And it rang true this time, when it hadn’t so many other times they had spoken. Shit hadn’t hit the fan. He was letting her go. And, hell, three percent interest really wasn’t too bad. She could do three percent. And living at Wayne Manor, she wouldn’t have to worry about rent or subway fees or a car payment or gas prices. 

Bruce Wayne definitely couldn’t be as much of a creep as the Penguin. 

–

Monday morning dawned early. She had barely slept all night. Her nerves were wound tight. The rain had started up again in the early hours before dawn and showed no signs of letting up. 

Y/n’s bags were packed. Her meager belongings waited patiently by the door for her move to Wayne Manor. It was a dream come true, in a lot of ways. She had resented her tiny, shitty apartment since she had been forced out of the one she had grown up in–just her and her mother, all those years. Now her mother was gone, and all that was left of their life together was packed in a small cardboard box. That box was really all that mattered. Y/n had only bothered to pack it, her clothes, and her quilt and pillow. Everything else was staying in the apartment. 

A soft knock sounded at the door. 

She opened it to reveal Alfred, who was startlingly dry for all of the rain roaring down from the sky outside. 

“Good morning,” she said. 

“Good morning. Shall I help you with your belongings?” 

She only had her backpack, two suitcases, the box of memories, and her pillow with her quilt shoved into the pillowcase. 

For some reason, as Alfred helped her carry everything down the stairs and loaded it into the car outside, she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by her surroundings. At her obvious lack. Had it been too desperate of her to leap at a chance to live in Bruce Wayne’s giant mansion without thinking it through? She had never been one to take handouts so readily, but in the past few years that had changed drastically. She would take whatever she could get–which was only underscored by the fact that all she’d been able to do was make a deal with a criminal to try and save her mother’s life. 

Wayne Manor was just barely inside of city limits. It was close to everything while still just separate enough to scream wealthy. A huge brick wall stretched around the property. A wrought iron gate swung open to reveal a long driveway lined with trees. 

As Alfred drove up the drive, he explained the security system to her. Cameras all along the walls, alarms, security guards patrolling and watching the gate. Security never came near the house except in an emergency. He also explained, gently, that she likely wouldn’t see much of the master of the house. He tended towards the nocturnal and often went out for most of the night and slept during the day. The way Alfred said it was almost affectionate, like he was used to Bruce Wayne’s antics. 

The long driveway suddenly ended. A huge, Gothic manor was revealed. It sprawled across an equally massive lawn. Gargoyles sneered down at her from the edges of the roof and towers. She felt her mouth pop open in surprise. It was…well, enormous. 

They pulled around to the back of the house towards what y/n guessed was the servants entrance. 

“I’ve given security your information and identification. You’re free to come and go as you please, of course, but we ask that you simply alert the guards at the gate each time you leave and come back.” Alfred parked the car in a small spot near a door in the back. “Your rooms will be on the second floor. My rooms are right next to yours. Master Wayne’s are on the first floor. The kitchen, library, pool house, and stables are free for you to use whenever you would like. The basement, however, is completely off limits. There is a code to enter, but I figured I would warn you. It’s Master Wayne’s private study and he doesn’t like to be disturbed.” 

They entered through the backdoor into a storage room. It led into a kitchen that was, by itself, larger than the shitty apartment she’d just left behind. 

“We’ll pause here for some paperwork, if you don’t mind. Then I’ll take your things upstairs for you to get settled.” Waiting on the kitchen island was a stack of paperwork that included the typical employee and tax forms, health benefit contracts, and also a thick stack of contracts that included heavily binding NDAs. She tried to take a moment and look it all over like it didn’t overwhelm her. From what she gathered, she was allowed to say she worked at Wayne Manor, but not in what capacity. She wasn’t allowed to mention Bruce Wayne, his comings and goings, or anything else about the house to anyone other than Bruce Wayne himself and Alfred. Taking any kind of photographs of the house, grounds, or the occupants was entirely forbidden. If she broke the contract, she would be immediately fired and sued. 

Head swimming, she signed all the forms. Alfred made tea while she signed paper after paper. She preferred coffee but she would take whatever caffeine she could get to help her through the huge stack of forms. 

By the time she finished, the dregs in her cup had gone cold. 

“Now that’s done, let’s get you settled,” Alfred said as if it were simply any other regular day. Y/n supposed that, working for a billionaire, it probably was. 

As they made their way up a servant’s staircase, Alfred’s soft, accented voice kept up the narration from their drive. “I would also ask you not to disturb the late Mr. and Mrs. Wayne’s rooms on the third floor. They have been…kept the same since their passing.” 

“Of course,” she murmured. Obviously, her curiosity was piqued at the mention of forbidden rooms–including the basement–but she needed this job more than she needed to satisfy her curiosity. 

The house itself was more of a Gothic castle or Gothic church than it was a house. Intricate stone and woodwork was everywhere, from the arched ceilings and moulding to the carved banisters on the servants stair. The stairs kept winding upwards, but they took the first landing and came out at the very end of a long hallway. There was a stained glass window that overlooked the estate below them. 

“You’ll have the rest of the day to get settled and explore, if you’d like. You’ll officially start tomorrow morning. This first door here belongs to me. And…here you are.” 

Alfred stopped at the next door on the hallway. 

“I’ll leave you to get settled. Text me if there’s anything you need.” He set her stuff politely beside the closed door. “Oh–we all fend for ourselves with meals. The kitchen is fully stocked, so help yourself.” With that, Alfred disappeared back down the stairs to do…whatever it is he did as butler. 

Pushing open the door to her room, y/n swallowed her apprehension. 

She had to use the doorjamb to hold herself up when she saw what was before her. 

When Alfred has used the plural of room, he hadn’t made a mistake. There was a small living room, a huge bathroom, a bedroom, and a walk-in closet. It was the size of at least two, if not three, of her apartments. It had been recently cleaned, though the furniture was a bit outdated. There was a thick comforter and set of pillows on the bed that looked to be the most updated things in the room. It was a muted gray with blue and green accents. 

There was a small couch, a sitting chair, a desk, a fireplace….Her head spun. This alone was such luxury compared to what she had just come from. And she had the run of the house when she wasn’t working, save for a few off-limits areas. Kitchen, library, grounds, pool house…

Taking a deep breath, y/n began unpacking her things. Her clothes barely took up a quarter of the closet. 

She set her photographs on the dresser and bedside table. One of her as a baby with her mother–still glowing with youth and young love. Another of them when she was a teenager, at one of Gotham’s music festivals. Another taken when her mother was sick, the last photograph of them together. Around the photos went other various sentimental items. 

Already she could tell that the house was gloomy and barely lived in. There was a pervading smell of dust in the air. She flung open the heavy drapes in the bedroom and living room. With a satisfied nod, she resolved to open more curtains in the house. Maybe bring in some fresh flowers once in a while. Alfred had told her that the gardener and groundskeeper–a married couple–lived in a cottage farther into the property. Maybe she could ask one of them for permission to bring flowers inside sometimes so she didn’t have to buy them. 

It would take some getting used to. But she would work hard. She would save money. She would pay off her debts. And then Wayne Manor would just be something in the rearview for her on the way to something better. 

It wasn’t a Cinderella story, but it was a good stepping stone into the rest of her life.

Next Chapter

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@pop-rocks-and-skittles @calumspupils @n1ght5h4d3-24 @keepingitlokiii @11mb0 @illicitghosts​  @passionandpeaches

[fandom-imagines-stories]

There With You

Peeta Mellark x Reader

Words: 2532

Summary: A panic attack during the Victor’s tour leaves the reader gasping for breath backstage. Her fiance is able to calm her down, but now she’s afraid that what’s real and what’s pretend will blur together.

Notes: This is another kind of comfort fic based on my own experience, so I hope someone out there can connect with it. I love reading things to help calm myself down, so I hope that my comfort imagines can do that for somebody else. Plus Peeta is one of my comfort characters, so it works out. (Also, the reader has taken Katniss’ place in this scenario. Still love Katniss, but this fit the story)

Warnings: Panic attack, anxiety, the like (This is not a depiction of every kind of panic attack. This is just what I have experienced in the past)

-

None of this was supposed to happen. There wasn’t supposed to be two of you. There weren't supposed to be riots. The romance wasn’t supposed to be real.

Then why was he the only one keeping you from sprinting off that stage?

Peeta’s fingers were intertwined with yours as he spoke to the crowd, keeping you grounded. You tried to focus on the sound of his voice instead of the hundreds of eyes staring up at you. You looked up at the screens and saw her looking back at you. Her. The first person you’d ever killed and you couldn’t even bring yourself to think of her name.

Your breathing hitched and you could feel the squeezing, twisting grip around your throat. No no no not now. Not in front of the entire crowd. What would President Snow do to you if you broke down in front of an entire district? What would he do to Peeta?

“Thank you.” Peeta finished up his speech and a few people in the crowd reluctantly applauded. His eyes locked on your face, seeing a single tear fall down your cheek and he quickly led you off the stage.

He knew that District 9 would be the hardest for you. He still remembered the knife and the blood and the gore. You had killed her to save him. And now you had to live with that for the rest of your life.

The doors closed behind you and you immediately fell back against them, clutching your chest with your free hand. You ripped open the buttons on your high-necked dress, foolishly thinking that it would make it easier to breathe. The invisible hand had closed around your throat, knees crushing down your chest. When you closed your eyes, Clove was on top of you, choking the life out of you slowly, whispering all of the ways she was going to torment Peeta once you were gone.

“Let’s get her out of here.” Haymitch said, his expression a mix of worry and unease. He knew the image of a weak Victor would mean more problems that you weren’t ready to deal with. He remembered what it was like to be under the eye of the Capitol.

“I can’t… I can’t do this. Peeta, I can’t keep-” You gasped in between shaky breaths. Your vision was blurred at the sides and you were gripping the door to keep from collapsing. “I-I-”

“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to talk now.” Peeta said, putting a hand on your cheek. “Can you walk to the train?” You nodded, but couldn’t seem to bring your hands away from the door. Peeta looked back at Haymitch and Effie for a moment before turning back to you. “I’m going to carry you, okay?” You must have nodded because he kissed your cheek before scooping you up in his arms.

Your hands released the door and instead latched onto the lapel of his jacket. Every part of you was shaking and the weight on your chest was only getting heavier.

“P-Peeta.” You cried, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes.

“I’ve got you. We’re almost there.” He tried to hide the crack in his voice, trying to be the strong one for you, but seeing you like this split his heart in half. Haymitch and Effie huddled around you, trying to block the two of you from any prying eyes or cameras.

You didn’t notice when they finally got you onto the train. In your head, you were still on that stage, staring out at the little brothers of the girl you murdered. You thought for sure you were suffocating. Every breath was becoming harder and more painful than the last and the blackness at the edge of your vision was growing.

Peeta sat down, holding you in his lap and gently stroking his fingers through your hair.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe. You aren’t in the arena. You’re here with me.” He buried his face in your neck, gently pressing a kiss to the place between your shoulder and your spine. “You’re with me.”

“I’ll never leave that arena.” You whispered, your voice so quiet you weren’t sure if he even heard you.

This was far from the first attack you’d had since winning the games, but it was certainly the worst.

Haymitch and Effie just watched you with sympathetic eyes for a moment before leaving the two of you alone. Peeta held you tight until your breathing started to return to a steady pace. While your vision cleared, your body couldn't stop shaking and you couldn’t seem to pry your hands away from his jacket.

“I’m sorry.” You sniffed, trying to wipe panicked tears away on your sleeve.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn’t have made you go out there with me. I knew what it was going to be like for you and I should have-”

“They wouldn’t have let you go out there alone.” You shook your head. “There’s no hiding from them, Peeta.” You repeated your words like an echo, over and over again. “I’ll never leave that arena.”

“Then I’m right there with you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead and stood up, keeping you pressed against his chest. “Come on, we should try and get some sleep before we reach the next District.”

He carried you to your compartment and tucked you under the covers. He crawled up beside you without you having to ask. It had become an unsaid thing between the two of you. You kept the nightmares away as best as you could and when one of you woke up afraid, you weren’t alone.

-

Peeta had proposed for the cameras the day you left for the Victor’s tour, but it was all for show. The Capitol ate it up. When you really said yes, it was a week prior, just the two of you in the calming quiet in a meadow outside of the fence. It meant more that way.

Of course, Effie had picked out an extravagant ring for you to wear on stage and everything. It was gaudy and heavy and enough jewels to feed three districts for a month. But like the faked proposal, it wasn’t what was real.

You twisted the small bronze band around your finger, examining it in the faint light coming through the train windows. You had been awake for about an hour now, but Peeta’s peaceful sleep kept you from stirring. You rested in the warmth of his embrace and listened carefully to the slow, comforting sound of his heart beat.

You wanted to stay in this moment forever.

“Rise and shine you two.” Effie burst through the door and Peeta instantly went rigid beneath you, jolting up and pushing you behind him. You couldn’t see his face, but his expression frightened Effie. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think, I-”

“No, Effie, it’s okay. Really.” He said apologetically, his expression softening. “We’ll be out for breakfast in a second.”

“Alright. Don’t be long. I know they want to do a feature on engaged life. A little romance might be just what you two need.” She gave you both a small smile before walking out, the door sliding shut behind her. Peeta laid back on his elbows, blowing out a low sigh.

“I didn’t mean to scare her. I just heard the door open and all I could think was that someone was here to take you away.” He pulled you back down to him and gently pressed his lips to yours. Truthfully, he’d been in the middle of a nightmare when he heard Effie enter. He thought that the images in his head were becoming real.

“She’ll be okay.” You concluded, drawing circles on his chest . “Effie is tougher than she seems. And she knows what we’ve been through.” Despite her bright and sometimes obnoxiously optimistic attitude, you knew that Effie wasn’t a mindless pawn from the Capitol. She saw what the games did to you. She saw the children behind the victors.

Breakfast was mostly had in a settled quiet. While neither of you said anything, Haymitch glanced over at you and you nodded to let him know that you were okay. It was that silent understanding that was the foundation of your relationship with your former mentor.

“They’re doing an update interview to see how the Capitol’s darling lovebirds have been enjoying their tour.” Haymitch said gruffly. “Which means lots of blushing and doe-eyes from you two.”

“That won’t be hard.” Peeta noted, looking over at you. He meant it sweetly, but something about it sent a shiver of dread down your spine. You ignored it, giving him a small smile.

“It’s comforting to know we won’t need to convince anybody of the whole hopeless romantic thing.” Haymitch made a face. “You two do a wonderful job of making me nauseous all on your own.” Effie smacked him with her rolled up napkin.

“I think it’s wonderful.” She mused dreamily. “How something like that could bring you together.”

You stiffened, keeping your eyes on your plate, pushing your eggs around mindlessly with your fork. Sometimes you forgot that this was still all a TV show for people to gawk at. You would be the star crossed lovers from District 12 for the rest of your lives. No amount of real emotion you felt for Peeta was going to erase that.

The other three seemed to notice your shift and finished their meal in silence. Haymitch excused himself to the dining car for likely the rest of the day and Effie left to work on the speeches you’d have to read in front of District 8. You hadn’t eaten a bite, opting to sip slowly at your coffee instead.

“Just a few more days and we’ll get to go home.” Peeta said, noticing your empty stare and untouched meal. You just nodded, not really hearing him.

-

“So tell us, Peeta, when did you know that you wanted to propose?” Caesar grinned into the camera.

“Honestly, I knew the moment we stepped out of the arena that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.” Peeta gave your hand a squeeze and looked at you with complete and utter adoration. Caesar gasped in awe, eating up the fluffy romance that Peeta was perfect at portraying.

Is that all this is? The thought penetrated your mind before you could stop it. A performance? Is everything he says for the sake of the camera?

“I’m not sure if I’ll ever forgive you for not including me in the moment, Peeta.” Caesar pouted. “But it was just so sweet I can’t stay mad at you!” The two laughed and you forced a loving smile. “Really, proposing in front of the bakery just before you left for the tour- why, it’s probably the most romantic thing I have ever seen.”

“I’m glad it came off that way, because I was a nervous wreck!” Peeta exclaimed and they laughed again. You had to admire his acting ability. Maybe that’s what scared you so much.

He’s just performing. Is he performing with you?

“I think we all want to know,” Caesar beamed, turning his attention to you, “what was going through your head, Y/N? When Peeta got down on one knee?”

You pushed any doubt from your head and just focused on everything you knew was real. “Honestly, Caesar, I can’t think of a happier moment in my life. I never knew what I was missing until we found each other.”

“Don’t these two just make you believe in love, Claudius?” He gushed to his costar. “We’ll let the two of you get back to your tour, but I can’t say how excited we are to have you all to ourselves here in the Capitol.”

“We can’t wait.” Peeta grinned. You both smiled broadly, waiting for the little red recording light to turn off. As soon as the cameras were gone, Peeta lifted your hand up to his lips. “That went well.” He muttered against the skin of your palm.

“Yeah. I think they definitely believe that we’re the perfect couple.” You hadn’t meant to say it so bitterly, but as soon as the words left your mouth, Peeta’s expression changed.

“What’s wrong?” His eyes were different, the charisma that was there with Caesar was gone. His worry seemed to stem from something real, but you just couldn’t convince yourself that it was.

“Nothing.” None of this is real. It’s all just the games. What if you’re still in the arena? What if this is all in your head? You broke away from him, trying to hide the panic growing and growing inside you until it was all you could feel. You could hear him saying your name, but it sounded garbled and far away, like he was whispering in the rain.

What seized you now was unlike you’d ever felt before. Not only was it the dark panic that blurred your vision and tightened your throat until you couldn’t breathe- it was a complete disconnect from reality. It was like you were trapped inside one of their screens and you were banging on the glass, trying to get out.

-

You didn’t realize you had fainted until you woke up in Peeta’s arms. His was sitting up, cradling you in his lap like he had before, only now you were in your room and you had a blanket draped around your shoulders. You jerked away, your mind still terrified that even this wasn’t real.

“Woah, hey it’s okay. I’m right here.”

“This isn’t real. None of this is real.” You whispered in a panic, still trying to push away from him. This was the Capitol. They were in your head. “You aren’t real.” As hard as you shoved against him, his strong arms were locked around you. He pressed a kiss to your temple, holding you closer.

“I’m right here. I’m real. Just breathe. Come on, stay with me.” While his voice was soothing, your vision was still blurred with hot tears.

“We can never escape this. Every second of our lives belongs to them. Nothing is real. It’s all theirs.”

Peeta pulled away, taking your hand in his. He slid the bronze ring off your finger and held it up.

“This is ours. It’s not Snow’s, it’s not the Capitol’s, it’s ours. It’s real and it’s ours.” He put the ring back on and moved your hand to his chest. You could feel his heart beating beneath your fingertips. “I’m real,” He looked at you with a gentle and yet intense love, “and I am completely yours.”

You wiped away your tears and laid a hand on his cheek. “Peeta-”

“And no matter the nightmare, no matter the fear, or when your mind takes you back to the games, just remember I will always be there with you.”

He pulled you back to him and the two of you remained- away from the cameras and away from the Capitol. At least for now, you weren’t victors. You were a boy and a girl who had saved each other.

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

how to fake date your best friend | jake sim

✰ summary: the rules were simple -

pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only

no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure 

and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love. 

simple, right?

well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules. 

and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.

✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!] 

✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥

✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k

✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ 

Tuesday, December 8th

Jake Sim lives a simple life. 

He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends. 

Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space. 

But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life. 

And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him. 

He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings. 

They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.

He’s totally not in love with you. 

So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change. 

Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history). 

So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever. 

Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one. 

It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second. 

And that catches us up to the present.

“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table. 

Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all. 

He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking. 

You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense. 

“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.) 

When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue. 

“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?” 

Wrong. 

Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.

Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend. 

(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.) 

But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull. 

Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon. 

Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak. 

Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection. 

If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was. 

Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners. 

How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him. 

For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school) 

In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time. 

And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon. 

Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you. 

Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be. 

That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t. 

Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life. 

And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you. 

“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract. 

Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we? 

“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second. 

“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.” 

Right. Of course. Obviously. 

“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way. 

Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know. 

Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?

Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you. 

Yes, that’s it, just say no. 

Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact. 

Jake does not say no. 

He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another. 

To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart. 

So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.

Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.  

Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.  

Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting. 

How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?  

Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.  

Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea. 

It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you: 

y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake

y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best

y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333

Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture. 

Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world. 

After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right? 

Spoken like a true simp. 

Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously. 

And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all. 

Wednesday, December 9th 

Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well. 

“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist. 

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.” 

Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say. 

“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.

Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself. 

“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...” 

Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good. 

This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often. 

And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush. 

Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment. 

“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking. 

You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers. 

“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun. 

Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table. 

“I’m helping y/n study” 

“I have an important skating performance on Sunday” 

“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)

Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?” 

Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party? 

That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime. 

Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.” 

Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes. 

Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again. 

He then looks to you with puppy eyes. 

You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.

Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you. 

If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that. 

You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought. 

Weird. 

You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest. 

“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.” 

Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no. 

He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party. 

But–

But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.” 

Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.” 

You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you. 

For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay. 

Admittedly cute. 

Thursday, December 10th 

You are having a bad day. 

You’re having the mother of bad days. 

Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due. 

Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms. 

You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse. 

You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about. 

To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.

And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal). 

Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n. 

Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done. 

Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space. 

You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays. 

Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude. 

As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone. 

Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding” 

Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is 

Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? :// 

It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today. 

You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.

y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg

Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home. 

It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures. 

You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy. 

You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue. 

You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.” 

Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in. 

“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window. 

“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door. 

Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right? 

“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats. 

“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood. 

You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...

“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.” 

Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?” 

“Touché,” you click your tongue. 

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.  

You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?” 

You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously. 

Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you. 

“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?” 

“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood. 

You nod at his answer. 

“You two make a good couple.” 

You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?

“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.” 

He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen. 

You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say. 

You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.

But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy. 

Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.  

Jake. 

Weird. 

But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.  

"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.  

You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.  

Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.  

Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.  

The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing. 

You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.  

As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.

Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.  

You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.  

And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation. 

You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.  

The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.  

Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–

"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"  

You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.  

You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.  

“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon. 

You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him. 

You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.

“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.

Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you. 

Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.” 

Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.

Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show. 

Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice. 

“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand. 

His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands. 

Hm. A little too familiar. 

Then, it clicks in his head. 

His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?” 

“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.” 

“You’re annoying.” 

“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied. 

After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table. 

“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken. 

You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?” 

Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!” 

You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him. 

The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–

“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice. 

You break out of his trance and scoff at him. 

“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well.  Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you. 

“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.” 

Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence. 

Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute. 

Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.” 

“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name. 

Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place.   “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan. 

You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts. 

You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.” 

Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it. 

“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute. 

He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being. 

Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion. 

“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind. 

“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.” 

Friday, December 11th 

The party does not clear your mind. 

If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school. 

You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood. 

You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway. 

You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––

“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case. 

The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings). 

You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.

You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.

“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.

The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news. 

“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people. 

The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.  

“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap. 

“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously. 

You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive. 

But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you. 

Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth. 

(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.) 

But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons. 

Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no. 

But he sure can be awkward. 

And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him. 

As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you. 

Bless this pure, pure boy. 

Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them. 

“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.” 

Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!” 

“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response. 

Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den. 

"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.

Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.  

"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.” 

Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.

"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."  

Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.

"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?” 

“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap). 

“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.” 

Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake. 

“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement. 

“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.” 

Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth. 

“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now. 

“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.” 

Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him. 

“What do you mean I’m too–” 

Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say. 

Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his. 

You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at. 

Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop. 

When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-

“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him. 

“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.” 

Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing. 

Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened. 

But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.

Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.

He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.

From you. 

He’s screwed. 

Saturday, December 12th 

When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night. 

The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream. 

Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.

And fourth, a buzzing noise. 

Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone. 

After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search. 

Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before. 

y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet? 

y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no

y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up 

jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry 

jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up

y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy? 

y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth

jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao

y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door 

Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts. 

Talk? Outside his door? 

Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down. 

He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less. 

Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however. 

He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch. 

“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is. 

“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue. 

“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?” 

“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you. 

You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home. 

Or was that because it reminded you of Jake? 

“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps. 

You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes. 

The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you. 

Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence. 

But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking. 

But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think. 

Not when it comes to you. 

He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you. 

“Look, I-” 

“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around. 

He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth. 

“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.” 

You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.

Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.

He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.  

“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare. 

"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.” 

Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.

Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help. 

"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.” 

You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.” 

Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.” 

“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away. 

Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.

“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare. 

Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two. 

Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily. 

Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you. 

Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach. 

He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away. 

When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure. 

“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response. 

Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else. 

“Too late.” 

✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’))))) 

[roscgcld]

HEADCANONS + GOJO SATORU || onii-chan

note: this was a few ideas given to me by my beloved 🌸Anon - a bunch of new gojotwins!au headcanons c: this one is a little different compared to my other story, so this is a stand alone one. might turn it into a series if it gets enough love, but we’ll see~ you can read the original ask here!

pronouns: she/her

note: mentions of blood and death and spoilers for volume 8 & 9 of the manga. SUPER LONG by the way lol

gojotwins!au masterlist

twins have always been viewed as a bad omen for the parents - there are high chances of both twins developing no Cursed Technique at all, or have a Cursed Technique that is not desirable. So there had been no hope when one of the wives from the main family of the gojo clan was pregnant, and from what they can tell with twins at that

so it was a huge surprise to not only the elders but the entire jujutsu world when not one, but both of the twins were born with the coveted Six Eyes - something that had never happened in the history of the gojo clan. it was a moment to be celebrated!

if only they knew just what was lies ahead

much to the delight of the elders, the older one of the twins was the boy, satoru, while the girl was born 20 minutes after - it wouldn’t have mattered if it was the other way around, but just having the young boy being the one born first was definitely the icing on the cake

both of you were an absolute headache to deal with, causing so much chaos and mayhem that the elders had wondered if they should have celebrated at the idea of having two Six Eyes users under the same house was a good thing

the both of you trained together throughout your younger years, with satoru becoming super overprotective even though you were twins - he understood from a young age that the both of you were starting at different levels of footing because of your gender

yes, you are a girl - but at 7 years old you had exorcise a Grade-Two Curse by yourself with no more than an annoyed click of your tongue and a snap of your fingers, walking away whilst whining about how it got your favourite dress dirty

with that being said though, he loves to tease you are still the younger one between the both of you, and had teased you about how you should refer to him as ‘onii-chan’ instead of his first name

“come on, Y/N~ it’s a sign of respect~”

“i am going to spend you to outer space one of these days.”

the two of you were already known about the jujutsu world way before you even became old enough to enroll in Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College - you two were even allowed to enter without an interview with the then principal of the school

who would want to waste their time interviewing two highly over qualified teenagers anyway?

the first time you met geto and shoko, they were both intimidated by your sheer presence. the both of them have heard talks about the gojo twins entering their year as a pair

so when they had first met you, standing there in your uniform with your bright blue eyes hiding behind a pair of blacked out sunglasses and an indifferent look on your face - they definitely felt a shiver go through their bodies

however, when they saw your twin brother appearing behind you with the biggest grin, hugging you from behind whilst you scowled and tried to push his head away - they were definitely less intimidated now

“now, now, Y/N-chan, stop being so scary~”

“nii-chan, i am giving you three seconds to let go of me.”

the two of you quite the duo, especially when you two are always pinned against one another with more difficult and more challenging missions compared to when you were under the care of the gojo clan 

geto felt less pressure to match up to his friend, since satoru and Y/N are always at each other’s throat - wanting to outmatch the other and one up the other with silly things like Curse head counts and how difficult its level is

with that being said, satoru is very protective of you - if any so much as speaks poorly of you, he would not hesitate to put them in their place

“oya? what makes you think you can speak of my baby sister like that?” satoru had hummed towards the small group of men, who were commenting on how beautiful the young woman was followed by a lot of unsavoury comments. 

satoru still sported his casual smile, yet there was a certain air around him that made them shut their mouths up real fast. “mind repeating that? just want to make sure that i have a good enough reason to put your lazy asses six feet underground..”

after that specific incident by the way, satoru had you and your friends out on a little excursion around tokyo - where they just did a bunch of stupid things together to calm down

you can read him like the back of a book though, so when both of your friends went away to browse through some shelves in a video game store, you just wrapped your arms around your brother with a smile. “you know, nii-chan, you don’t need to go about protect my honour. i’m a big girl now.”

he’d just blink down at you before giving you a soft but genuine smile, petting the top of your head with one of his hand while the other was resting inside of his pocket. “if i don’t protect you, who am i going to protect?”

that statement was proven during your second year - a cursed user had overpowered you and shoko and had taken the both of you hostage. the curse user had practically beaten you into a pulp, knowing that you were the stronger one between the two

shoko had been tied up and beaten as well, but you were definitely taking the brunt of his anger - along with being forced to listen about how he was going to sell you to some low life family that had been trying to get you to marry their sorry excuse of a son. 

you don’t even remember meeting the father of the boy, who had claimed to visit the gojo clan home a few times now

“you gonna be a good girl for me?” the man had gripped as he gripped your hair in his hands, giving you a smirk whilst you scowled over at him in annoyance, blinking the blood out of your eyes from the wound on the top of your head. 

before you can give another snarky answer in reply that will get you another beating, the sound of someone kicking the door in. before either one of you can move, the man suddenly let go of your hair with a pained gasp as someone grabbed his hair and forced his head back, looking up into a pair of glowing blue eyes

“get your filthy hands off my baby sister.”

geto was in charge of taking care of the both of you, leaving the room with a simple reminder to satoru that they needed to bring the man back alive

both of you spending most of your time trying to unlock the many secrets of the Limitless, and how to control it better

during the entire star plasma vessel fiasco, you had stayed by geto’s side. and while you didn’t manage to save rika from being murdered, you had, like gojo, managed to touch the core of cursed energy

toji had ‘killed you’ before he went after geto, yet like satoru, he did not decapitate your head; so you had slowly started to use the reverse curse technique to heal your wounds

so you couldn’t believe satoru’s belief when he found you using reverse cursed technique to heal geto, wrapping you up in his arms while you just smile and hold him as well

the three of you plus shoko had turned to one another for comfort, because along the way you four have grown close to the young girl, and her death really affected all of you

but if there is something bright that came out from this, is that you and your brother had really elevated yourselves to become the strongest duo of the new generation - both pretty much an entire chest above the current active sorcerers

after satoru had calmed down, he had told you about what toji had said to him before his death - about how he has a son that he had planned to sell of to the zen’ins

the two of you went to visit the young boy, discovering that he had an older sister as well; and without hesitation you had taken the both of them under your wing, pulling a few strings behind the scenes while also trying to provide him with as normal as a life as you two could

megumi had viewed you as a mother figure, someone who looked out for him and tsumiki, teaching the two of them life skills like sewing and cooking, making sure they always have warm meals. 

you never miss their birthdays either - always making sure to get them either a cake or a small cupcake with a candle on the top to blow out just for the sake of tradition

sure, satoru loves to spoil them too, but he acted more like their chilled older brother - he definitely relies on you more as a parental figure he had lacked for quite a huge part of his childhood

he had remembered how once, when you had made him his favourite curry and rice after a long week, he just sighed and said, “thanks mum,” before he started to eat his meal 

at first you froze in shock, and  megumi did too - but before the blushing teen can apologise, you had already wrapped him up in your arms as you just cried your heart out

satoru had teasingly asked him if megumi can call him ‘dad’, to which megumi just scowled and sent his divine dogs after your brother

satoru loves to introduce you two as the ‘strongest duo’ by the way - which makes you super awkward and you hate it with a passion. he wasn’t wrong, but it’s still awkward

“we’re the Gojos - the strongest duo out there.”

“please stop calling us that.”

feel like because you’re there, geto might still be on the path to the light lmao - like mans will be a teacher in school and you three will be dub the ‘idiot trinity’ or some bullshit nickname lol - the three biggest troublemakers in the jujutsu world

yet the three most capable ones as well - absolutely drive the higher ups of the jujutsu world insane

with that being said though - the three of you definitely hashed a plan to change the jujutsu world together. even shoko agrees that there should be some change to the old ways of the jujutsu world; so the four of you decided to sign up to work as teachers at Jujutsu High 

the first group of students you took under your wing was the then first years - maki, toge, panda, and eventually yuta when he joined your little class

you are the mother for the students while geto is the responsible dad; satoru is the crazy uncle that is not allowed to supervise the students alone, and shoko is the cool aunt who lets you skip class in her office if you want

all the students have, at one point, just referred to you as ‘mum’ and you had always just accepted that with a soft smile and a pat on the top of their head

even if they are taller than you, they will willingly bend down to your height so you can pet them on the head - even megumi lets you get away with it

when itadori and nobara came into the picture, you had taken them un as your own as well - but you did spend a good 5 minutes laughing with geto at the idea that yuji manages to control sukuna like he is just an annoying imaginary friend in the back of his head that refuses to shut up

you had tried to give them some form of normality and comforts as teenagers, even if many times they were forced into very uncomfortable situations

all in all - it was utter chaos the moment both you and satoru were born. yet it was a miracle nonetheless. many times you prove to the world that your bond is stronger than people think it is, and that you two will go through anything to make sure the other is safe. 

you are the younger one, but the more responsible one too. the motherly figure that everyone turned to, even your friends and brother, who needs comfort and a warm meal. yet if provoked, you can become deadly and kill with no hesitation. it’s because of this, both you and your brother are considered as quite the deadly duo; the strongest ones around. 

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform

[plus-size-reader]

Talent

Eddie Brock x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1897 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Eddie being assigned a co host after his first outburst on national television in hopes that it won't happen again, but it doesn’t exactly go as planned

—————————————————————————————————

If there was ever a professional rival to Eddie Brock, it was you.

Personally, he didn’t see it.

You were too buttoned up, like you were reading from a set of cue cards whenever you found yourself in front of a camera, and he would never do that. That sort of reporting was inauthentic and if he ever had to act that way, he’d surely quit.

It just wasn’t who he was.

Really, the comparison between you two was sort of insulting for him.

If nothing else, it was a blow to his ego but none of that mattered after what happened with the Daily Globe.

No one would let him work solo again, which was how you’d ended up here in the first place. Both his colleagues and the general audience seemed to think that the two of you would make a perfect pair.

For some reason, the man in question couldn’t keep his mouth shut and needed a babysitter out in the field so that he didn’t make a fool out of everyone at The Eddie Brock Report.

That was something you couldn’t and wouldn’t allow.

In all honesty, the only thing you and Eddie seemed to have in common was the fact that you didn’t quite care for the other, but you didn’t get much of a choice in the matter. Jack made it perfectly clear that Eddie Brock was your meal ticket, and you couldn’t rightfully toss that away.

You loved your job, and you were good at it, so if you had to take care of the man child that was Eddie Brock for a while, you would do that. All you had to do was keep a tight lip and get this whole thing over with.

Once the interview with the Life Foundation was over, and you got paid, you could request a transfer.

It wasn’t like working with him for a few months was going to kill you. Though, he was definitely going to challenge that notion.

This morning, for example, he was already more than an hour late for your meeting.

“Nice of you to join us, Mr.Brock” you sighed, turning around to find Eddie standing in the doorway, finally. He was meant to be here at eight am sharp, just like the rest of you, but evidently, he was too good for that.

Not that you had been expecting much more than that from him.

After all, if he was all that good at his job and showing up when he was supposed to, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. 

Whether Eddie realized it or not, he had developed quite a reputation in all the time he’d been on the air.

At this point, you weren’t even sure if anything he did was going to surprise you. You knew exactly what you were dealing with when you signed up for this.

What he was doing was incredibly unprofessional.

Not only did it make your life more difficult for the time being, but more than anything, he was just getting on your last nerve.

It was like he didn’t even realize that his job depended on how well this interview went. The Life Foundation was a monster of a company, and Carlton Drake had incredible influence over what happened in this city.

If this interview went poorly, it would reflect negatively on both of your careers.

You couldn’t let him ruin this for you.

Still, even from where he was standing in the doorway, terribly late and under-prepared, Eddie couldn’t have cared less about the obvious weight of this assignment.

“How are you already mad at me, I just got here?” he hummed, not even bothering to look at you as he sat down on the other side of the table, a teasing smile on his face. 

You two had only ever been around each other a few times, and never under such terms.

You just didn’t know what to expect.

In your entire career, you had worked with plenty of other people but you had never encountered anyone like Eddie Brock. He was as stubborn as an ass and arrogant even when there was no reason to be.

It just didn’t seem like this was going to work.

If anything, you and Eddie brought the worst out in each other, and because of that, you were sure that this whole thing wasn't going to work. 

Having the two of you work together didn’t make any sense, and you couldn’t imagine anyone would think it would work out.

All in all, working with Eddie was a terrible idea.

“You were supposed to be here two hours ago” you reminded, doing your best to keep a level head. It was becoming clear that if anything was going to get done here, you were going to have to be the one to take control of this.

One of you had to be an adult about this.

If you knew anything about Eddie, he was likely just doing this whole thing to get under your skin, but this wasn’t about that. He had a job to do, and you weren’t going to let him get out of it.

After all, he was the reason you were in this position in the first past, and he wasn’t going to bring you down because of his big mouth.

You had a lot riding on this too.

“Honey, I’m the talent. Last time I checked” he laughed, looking between the rest of the people in the room as if to verify, not that anyone wanted to get into it between the two of you. 

Most of them had worked with you before, and had a lot of respect for you, but that didn’t mean they wanted to go against Eddie either.

He had a reputation as a bit of a drama queen and wouldn’t hesitate to throw a bit of a tantrum regarding whatever happened here.

“Oh, you’re right, I’m so sorry. How could I be so dense? I actually expected the talent to show up” you grumbled back, folding your arms across your chest. You were frustrated, of course, but there was no way he was being serious.

First of all, Eddie wasn’t the talent.

Neither of you were the talent, that was the whole point. He did his job like he was playing a game, or just messing around, like the job itself didn’t matter. In fact, you didn't even think he understood how serious this was.

Clearly, this was all a joke for him.

“Woah, we’re a little snippy today, aren’t we?” he jabbed, still keeping that casual air about him as he antagonized you. There was this snide attitude about him, something that showed you just how much he was enjoying this.

He thought it was funny.

“I’m not, actually. I just give a damn about my job, something that I’m sure you couldn’t understand” you huffed, deciding that you needed to just take care of this yourself. 

Obviously, you were going to have to figure this out if you wanted to get out of this without completely throwing away your entire career.

Having this conversation with him wasn’t worth anything, and it certainly wouldn’t make the Life foundation interview go any more smoothly.

Without missing a beat, you started gathering your things and stuffing them into your bag. 

You had been sitting here for far longer than anyone ever would have for an appointment and seeing how Brock was acting now, you realized just how much of a waste that was.

This really was a mistake.

However, once Eddie realized that you were planning on leaving, the arrogance that you had seen before started to fade away. Whether he liked it or not, he knew that he needed you and if you didn’t help him on this, he wouldn’t have a job.

The only way he got to do the Life foundation interview was if he did it with you by his side, and he needed it.

After everything he’d messed up as of late, he needed someone to take a chance on him so that he could prove himself to everyone who didn’t think he could do it.

“Hey, hold on!” he called, a light jog closing the space between the two of you, where you were now walking away from the meeting room. You had no desire to talk to him, of course, not after how he was acting, but you did stop.

You didn’t move to look at him or ask what it was that he wanted, but you stopped moving so that he could get out whatever it was he was so determined to say.

“I’m sorry if I struck a nerve, I just don’t know how this whole thing is supposed to work out. You know as well as I do that the Life Foundation is a fraud” he sighed, his words little more than a whisper through his teeth.

The truth was right there.

You were a journalist and while he may not have had a ton of respect for you in general, he knew that you could see it. Anyone who had been doing this as long as you had couldn’t possibly be blind to what was going on.

Drake was killing people, and the fact that you were still willing to go through with this interview as if he wasn’t just proved everything that Eddie believed about you to be true. 

You were just another spineless icon without any morals or ideas of your own.

It wasn’t real journalism if you hide the truth.

“Even if that was true, you don’t have any proof. How are we supposed to prove it?” you asked, unsure what he was getting at. You wouldn’t be surprised if there was something wrong with Carlton Drake and the mammoth foundation he’d created.

What he was suggesting was much more than just the usual drama that came along with hiring Eddie Brock but when you looked him in the eye, you noticed that the usual mischief in his eyes was nowhere to be seen.

He was serious.

Wherever this was coming from, Eddie seemed to believe what he was saying.

“I don’t know, but I know that something is wrong and I think we need to figure out what it is” he tried, finally going for broke as he stood in front of you, acting like a crazy person.

By all accounts, you should have turned around and walked away. He was paranoid and completely determined that he was right, in a way that only someone who’d lost their mind would be. However, you couldn't help but believe him

As much as you disliked Eddie on principle, you had a lot of practice figuring out if someone was lying and you knew that whether he was right or not, he believed what he was saying and was telling the truth.

Now, all that was left to do was figure out if there was any truth to his wild claims.

“Give me a few days to ask around. We’ll meet up at the start of next week to talk, but don’t make me wait again” you decided, confident that if he was serious about this, he would show up at the right time.

After all, if he was right, you’d be risking your own career on this.

[no-reply95]

The Power Of Framing: John and Paul

Over the last few days I've been posting some quotes of interest that I'd bookmarked from Mark Lewisohn's Tune In book.

Tune In's reputation preceded it, every Beatles podcast I listened to mentioned it, Lewisohn's name either came up in conversation or the man himself would turn up for an interview so it got to the point that Tune In was so ubiquitous that I had to read the book and form an opinion for myself.

There are a lot of opinions I have on Tune In, both good and bad, but I'm not going touch on all of that here, at least not in this post.

The aspect of Lewisohn's narrative style that I want to get into is the way he frames the "bad" behaviour displayed by John and Paul.

There are two quotes from the book that I want to analyse, I'll start with John first:

John

“George was second only to John in the swallowing of Prellies and knew better than most the sum effect of taking too many for too long, how the combination of pills plus booze plus several sleepless days caused hallucinations and extreme conduct. He’d describe one occasion when he, Paul and Pete were lying in their bunk beds, trying to sleep, only for John to barge into the room in a wild state. ‘One night John came in and some chick was in bed with Paul and he cut all her clothes up with a pair of scissors, and was stabbing the wardrobe. Everybody was lying in bed thinking, “Oh fuck, I hope he doesn’t kill me.” [He was] a frothing mad person - he knew how to have “fun”.

Handling John was something his friends were well used to doing. If he didn’t murder them in their beds there was no greater buddy. They might fear for their lives but they loved him still. No way would they walk out and join another group. John was just John, and Paul and George’s hero-worship stayed fully intact.”

The above passage comes from the stint in Hamburg directly after Stu's death. John had always been the one to take the most prellies, as Lewisohn highlights, but he relays the fact that John was even more messed up than before subsequent to Stu's sudden death. I've highlighted a couple of lines from the extract to highlight how John's behaviour is framed by Lewisohn:

"the combination of pills plus booze plus several sleepless days caused hallucinations and extreme conduct"

From the outset Lewisohn is careful to outline the fact that John is under the influence of both bills and booze as well as being exhausted as a result of "several sleepless days" which has the sum impact of causing hallucinations and "extreme conduct" so in short, Lewisohn suggests that this behaviour from John is atypical and directly related to the substances and conditions he is under, the subsequent behaviour he displays, therefore, isn't a function of his innate personality, just a reaction to the chemicals and circumstances he currently finds himself beholden to.

"he, Paul and Pete were lying in their bunk beds, trying to sleep"

In terms of those impacted by John's actions, it isn't one individual that Lewisohn highlights, it's George, Paul and Pete, which to me suggests that anyone could have been on the receiving end of John's outburst. When describing the bedroom scene prior to John's entrance, Lewisohn describes the three guys as "trying to sleep", so a picture is painted of a quiet room where there's a lack of activity as everyone is tired and, either on their way to or currently, asleep.

"some chick was in bed with Paul and he cut all her clothes up with a pair of scissors, and was stabbing the wardrobe"

Firstly, the story that George relates (source Anthology, 2000), unlike the scene Lewisohn sets, makes it clear that there was only one target for John's outburst, not George, Pete or even Paul but an unnamed woman whose only crime was to be "in bed with Paul" so, far from trying to get to sleep, Paul was in fact having sex with this woman when John barged into the room. John, in the altered state that he's in, zeroes in on this woman by cutting up her clothes and stabbing at the wardrobe - it's a scary scene that George describes, so what is the lasting impression Lewisohn leaves us with?

"John was just John, and Paul and George’s hero-worship stayed fully intact.”

Despite the shock of the scene that George describes, ultimately John's behaviour has no lasting impact on his relationships with the others or on the future of the band. Lewisohn confirms that "Paul and George's hero-worship stayed fully intact" so not only was their view of John unharmed but they continued to hold him in the highest possible esteem, but how did they rationalise the unpredictability of John's behaviour? Well, "John was just John" the others knew that this was how John got from time to time, this was nothing new for them and their hero worship continued on, the core relationships were unaffected and the operation of the band was unscathed because there was no way that George and Paul would ever leave and join another band so, all in all, no harm done.

Paul

“Brian, John and George went to the Beehive and John used a public box to call Paul, returning with the message ‘He says he’s not coming.’ Brian must have been apoplectic: they’d be unable to play the booking, letting down the university and their paying audience, embarrassing him, ruining their chance of a rebooking, and undoing his repair work to the Beatles’ old bad reputation. He went back to his office to phone Paul, but Paul refused to speak. Jim informed Brian that Paul said he wouldn’t be turning up, and that was that.

Recalling the night five years later, Paul told of how, having discovered Brian and the others hadn’t waited outside his house for him, he decided ‘Fuck them - if they can’t be arsed waiting for me, I can’t be arsed going after them. So I sat down and watched telly.’ Jim was unable to persuade Paul to change his mind. Paul said he’d felt he’d always been ‘the keen one’, so now he’d go sharp the other way and make no effort at all.

John saw a bigger picture, and it would be surprising if it wasn’t equally obvious, or made obvious to Brian and George. He likened Paul’s enduring snag with Brian to his other long-standing difficulty: ‘[Brian] and Paul didn’t get along - it was a bit like [Stuart and Paul] between the two of them’.”

The above passage comes from a time in the Beatles' career, not long after they've agreed to take Brian on as their manager. Brian's hard work on their behalf is starting to pay off and they're getting the opportunity to do loads of gigs for good money. Lewisohn discusses an instance where Brian goes to 20 Forthlin Road to pick up Paul for the night's gig only to be told that he's running late and won't be able to get going for a while. As with the first passage, I've highlighted a couple of lines to highlight how Paul's behaviour is framed:

"Brian must have been apoplectic"

In this passage Lewisohn provides his interpretation of how Brian must have felt to turn up at Paul's house only to find that he'd defied his instructions to be on time. Right from the beginning of this story we are able to empathise with Brian, as the principle victim of Paul's actions.

"letting down the university and their paying audience, embarrassing him, ruining their chance of a rebooking, and undoing his repair work to the Beatles’ old bad reputation."

For the avoidance of doubt, Lewisohn details the wide reaching impact of Paul's behaviour and the list of the aggrieved is long: the university, the paying audience and ultimately the band, all the hard work that they and Brian have put in has been undone by Paul's actions and the tarnished reputation of old is back with a vengeance.

"John saw a bigger picture, and it would be surprising if it wasn’t equally obvious, or made obvious to Brian and George. He likened Paul’s enduring snag with Brian to his other long-standing difficulty: ‘[Brian] and Paul didn’t get along - it was a bit like [Stuart and Paul] between the two of them’.”

If the reader was left wondering if this was a one-off incident or if Paul was just having a bad day that he'd taken out on Brian, Lewisohn suggests that this was, in fact, part of a pattern of behaviour as "John saw a bigger picture" and Lewisohn remarks that "it would be surprising" if both Brian and George weren't equally aware of the bigger forces at play here. To reinforce the lasting implications of Paul's actions, Lewisohn talks about "Paul's enduring snag with Brian" and then likens it to Paul's other "long-standing difficulty" with Stu, which triggers the readers' knowledge of Paul's jealousy of Stu's closeness to John and invites the reader to also view Paul's relationship with Brian through that lens. The extract is then capped up by a quote from John (source, McCabe and Schonfled interview, 1971), seemingly, supporting Lewisohn's premise by linking the clash between Paul and Brian to the clash, that Lewisohn has already expertly laid out in his book, between Paul and Stu.

How the framing differs

In both excerpts I've pulled Lewisohn uses direct quotes from the principles as well as his own interpretation, both to varying impacts.

In the first excerpt, Lewisohn provides a context for John's behaviour, it's not long after Stu has died, John is under the influence of a cocktail of drugs and substances, so we're led to feel sympathy for the state that he's in and to excuse the frightening behaviour that subsequently follows. Lewisohn doesn't offer any context for Paul's behaviour, we assume that Paul is sober and of sound mind so there's no confusion as to the fact that Paul is in full control of his actions so we're less likely to excuse or able to rationalise his actions.

The preamble that Lewisohn writes prior to George's recounting of John barging into the room, mentions George, Pete and Paul being present, so Lewisohn gives us the impression that John's later actions are almost random, maybe it could have been Pete, or George, it just happened to be the woman in bed with Paul who triggered John's anger. We never hear about how the woman reacted to having her clothes torn to shreds just because she slept with Paul, Lewisohn doesn't offer any thoughts to Paul's reaction to having John barging into the room and raising hell while he was sharing an intimate moment with this woman. In stark contract, we're told precisely by Lewisohn about how he presumes Brian felt in the face of Paul's obstinance and the seriousness isn't lost on the reader because every possible group of people negatively impacted is called out with evocative language (i.e. embarrassing, ruining).

Lewisohn frames the Hamburg scissors incident in such a way that it's clear that this was just a blip on the band's radar, the "hero-worship" of George and Paul is undimmed and we're given the framework, either by accident or design, by which to view any similar outburst in the future, it's just John, he may overdo it from time to time but his negative actions will never be consequential because the love and worship the others have for him will never be overcome "no way would they walk out and join another group" because no matter what John did, Paul and George would condone it, stick by him and love him regardless, so why shouldn't we?

However, Lewisohn couldn't be clearer that Paul's disobedience of Brian was part of a larger pattern of behaviour that was detrimental to the band, John could see the bigger picture, the same bigger picture that was "obvious" to Brian and George. Rather than startling an unnamed German woman (Lewisohn leaves this to our imagination) Lewisohn carefully plots out how Paul's actions directly hurt the band and the good work they'd been doing with Brian's help. Far from a moment of chemically induced madness, Paul's behaviour is familiar, we've seen it before with Stu, now we're seeing it with Brian - Lewisohn is clear that the seeds of the break up are sewn in Tune In so is he suggesting that the behaviour Paul displays here can also be traced to 1969?

Was this difference in framing called for?

These two stories outlining John and Paul's behaviour aren't identical, one takes place in Hamburg in the privacy of a bedroom and directly impacts two people while the other takes place in Liverpool and directly impacts several people as well as the band, it could be argued that on this basis these situations Lewisohn was justified in framing these two incidents differently.

However, there are several similarities that I can spot between the behaviour John and Paul displayed:

Pattern of behaviour - Lewisohn appears to be making the case that John's outburst was purely circumstantial while Paul's clash with Brian was part of a longstanding jealousy issue Paul had of anyone close to John. I do think that jealousy may have been a factor in the clashes Paul had initially with Brian (as referenced briefly in my Jealous Guys post) but in my opinion there are complexities that exist with Paul's relationship with Brian (namely around Paul's dislike of authority figures and need for control) that don't exist in Paul's relationship with Stu or, further down the road, Yoko as neither Stu nor Yoko were ever in a position of authority over Paul, John didn't bring them into the band as a manager or producer so I think the more natural comparison is Stu and Yoko not Stu and Brian. Further, despite Lewisohn's descriptions to the contrary and lack of relation to a bigger picture, John's behaviour here was in fact part of a pattern of behaviour, this woman wasn't the first and would not be the last of Paul's love interests that John reacted negatively to; Jane Asher, Peggy Lipton and ultimately Linda would feel the brunt of John's negative attention throughout the Beatles and post-Beatles years, this was an opportunity for Lewisohn to lay the groundwork of that but unfortunately he didn't want to connect these particular dots.

Impact on the band - Lewisohn is at pains to outline how George and Paul weren't going anywhere and there's no suggestion that John's actions would have any impact on the band or its future but, with the hindsight we have, is that correct? Even before Hamburg, John is abusing alcohol, largely to numb the effects of the sudden death of his mother, then in Hamburg, he's now abusing drugs too which negatively impacts his behaviour. For the rest of the Beatle years John's substance abuse issues appear again and again (Bob Wooler incident at Paul's 21st birthday, destruction of ego and fall in productivity due to prolonged LSD use, increase in the communication issues in the band in the wake of John and Yoko's heroin addiction). If Lewisohn was really interested in giving us the bigger picture, why didn't he outline the detrimental impact that John's substance abuse issues were having on the band, all it would have taken was for him to help the reader to understand how the woman and Paul felt as a result of John's actions but instead he uses this story as another opportunity to reinforce the idea that Paul and George hero-worshipped John.

Links to the break up: In many of his podcast interviews (Nothing Is Real and Fabcast spring to mind) Lewisohn is clear that, although the events of the break-up are years away from being committed to paper, the roots are laid out in Tune In. Paul's clash with Brian is framed in such a way to underscore how it fostered long difficulties between Paul and the band's manager in a way that was obvious to the others, does that sound familiar? If we sub Klein in for Brian, we've suddenly been transported to the summer of '69, I believe this is intentional and given the pretty uncharitable way Paul's actions are described (Paul should have been on time but leaving without him so that he had to take several buses instead only made everyone later and poured gasoline on an already open flame, neither Paul, Brian or the band won in this situation which I think all parties came to realise at a later stage) we're already being conditioned to believe that by the time it's 1969 this reckoning for Paul has been a long time coming and we should be glad that John, George, Ringo and Klein are finally stand up to Paul's immature power plays. However, can the break up also be traced to John's actions. As already discussed, the first excerpt outlines one of the first instances of John's substance abuse negatively impacting the band, in 1961 he's destroying a woman's clothing, cock-blocking Paul and terrorising everyone, in 1969 he's in a heroin haze with Yoko which hinders the already frayed communication links with the rest of the band and fosters an environment where, to John, only "JohnandYoko" matter ("I mean, I’m not going to lie, you know. I would sacrifice you all for her [Ono]", Get Back Sessions, 1969) to the extent that they're able to be wooed by Allen Klein who knows exactly what John and Yoko want so they allow him to give it to them, irrespective of what the rest of band need or want.

In the end, I have no problem with either story being included in Tune In, neither John or Paul were saints and in these instances we can see aspects of their personality that will feature, for better and for worse, over the course of the rest of the Beatles' career and, in John's case, his life. However, it is a shame that time and time again, when given the opportunity to frame John and Paul's actions Lewisohn opts to minimise John's misdeeds via his emphasis on Paul and George's love and patience for him, while for Paul almost no context is provided for his negative actions and Lewisohn subtlety begins to plot the lines that will eventually lead to the 3 to 1 split and the lawsuit that, not only breaks up the band but ensures they never reform again. The part Paul plays in the break-up does have roots in his personality, which we see glimpses of in his interactions with Brian in 1961 (he won't be pushed around and his reaction to being pushed is to fight back not fall in line) but we also see John's role start to take shape too (the unpredictability of his actions under the influence of substances and the chain of events that would occur as a result i.e. LSD - loss of ego - jealousy of Paul's output and his loss of dominance - openness to Klein who identifies John as the leader and reinforces his belief in his supremacy in the Lennon-McCartney partnership as well as filling John with misinformation like reminding him he wrote most of Eleanor Rigby). It's a problem that only Paul's negative reactions and missteps are framed in the wider context of the band because this skews the story and fails to accurately plot the role John also played in the band's demise. If Lewisohn's aim is to provide us with a balanced, definitive take on the band's story then, based on this evidence, he's falling short.

[libraryofloveletters]

hi! so i came across your blog just a couple days ago and i love your fics! if possible i have a request for an eddie diaz and buckley!read fic? it might sound like a weird idea and it might not follow the time line. but the reader is a buckley, her and eddie slept together and they were about to start dating. then his wife comes back and the reader leaves la because of that reason. she then comes back 3ish years later with a daughter. her siblings know it’s eddie’s baby and tries to get the reader to tell her, but she doesn’t want to. then eddie some how finds out (you can pick how) and then he tells her that he wants to be apart of both there lives. and one last thing, can the daughter be names stella? (i hope this isn’t to detailed!)

thank you and i hope you have a great day! 😊❤️

Build A Home With Me

Eddie Diaz x Buckley!Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, slight insinuation of cheating, mentions of pregnancy, secret keeping, sibling teasing, alcohol and consumption of

Category: Angst and Fluff, lil mix of both :) 

Word Count: 5k

Author’s Note: First of all, thank you for the sweet words! I loved this request and I loved writing it! I hope you liked it!! <3

---

“What time are they going to be back ?” Eddie gets up off the bed, you shrug and grab your phone. You watched as Eddie got dressed, somehow this man always looked perfect. “Y/n ? What time are they coming back ?” he stops in front of the bed, the sound of the front door unlock causing the both of you to look towards your bedroom door. 

“Well, I guess now” 

“Y/n!” he half whispers, half shouts. “They’re going to kill me” he says, leaning down and tossing your clothes at you. “Not they Eddie, Buck. Buck’s gonna kill you” you laugh. 

“Y/n ?! We’re home!” your sister shouted from downstairs. You were currently staying with your sister, Maddie, while you came to visit LA. She was kind enough to let you stay with her because frankly, your brother could be a pain in the ass with all his routines. 

“Coming!” you shout back, Eddie grabs your arm as you go to open the door. “My shoes are downstairs” he looks at you, “okay and ? Come down and get them” 

“They're down there” his eyes go wide, the idea of your siblings seeing him was absolutely outrageous to him. 

“Eddie, I'm a grown woman. I don't think they’ll care.” 

“I do! I have to work with Buck, do you know how hard it’ll be if he’s upset about this ?” 

“Would you relax? He’s slept with 90% of my friends. Let’s go” you grab Eddie’s hand and pull him down the stairs with you. “Why are you walking so loud fu-” your brother stopped in his tracks. 

His little sister and his best friend. Holding hands. Coming down the stairs. 

Together. 

“Ed- how- wait what ? Since when?” Buck didn't know if he should be upset or congratulate them. “Buck, what’s wrong?” Maddie walks into the living room to see the 3 of you by the stairs. 

“Oh hey Eddie, wanna stay for dinner ?” 

Buck looks over at Maddie, she didn't seem surprised about the fact that their little sister just came down from her room with Eddie. “Did you know ?” Buck asks her, “I mean yeah, the walls in here aren't exactly thick” she laughs. Eddie’s face was a mix of shame and embarrassment. Buck didn't say anything, he just left the 2 of you by the stairs with Maddie. Eddie looks down at you and glances over to the direction Buck headed in. You shake your head and grab his hand again, giving it a little squeeze. 

“Come on guys, dinner’s going to get cold” Maddie smiles, walking towards the kitchen. The two of you follow her to the kitchen. Dinner was quiet, just talk about work and if you plan on moving out to LA which was still undecided as of now. Maddie asked you to help her get another bottle of wine, leaving the guys at the table together. 

“How long ?” Buck slouched in the chair, taking a sip of his beer. Eddie couldn't remember the last time he felt like this, he knows Buck is his best friend but right now, Buck was y/n’s brother and not his best friend. 

“A few days after you introduced us at the station” 

Eddie watched Buck. He was doing the math in his head, Eddie’s fingers drummed against his knees under the table, Buck looked over at him. “That’s almost 4 months” 

“It is” 

“And you didn’t tell me”

“Buck, man, she didn't want anyone to know” 

“Yeah she’s always been a private person” Eddie gave him a slight smile. “Did you introduce her to Chris ?” 

“Yeah, a few weeks ago. They really like each other” 

Maddie’s voice interrupted their conversation. “I have pie, who wants?” she turns to the fridge, the men give her a mumble which she takes as a yes. You make your way back over to the table, standing behind your brother’s chair. 

“So?” your hand rested on his shoulder, his hand comes up and pats yours, he glances over his shoulder and smiles at you. 

“Really ?” you smile at him, he nods. You lean down and kiss his cheek. Eddie watches the two of you, you remind him a lot of his relationship with his sisters when he lived at home. Maddie comes back to the table with a few plates in one hand and a pie in the other. 

“I should get going” Eddie stands from his seat, “Oh are you sure ? You don't want to stay for dessert ?” Maddie asks him, he shakes his head. 

“Thank you but I should get home to Chris” he comes around the table and pats Buck’s shoulder on his way over to Maddie. 

“Thank you for dinner” he gives her a hug, she wraps her arms around him.

“Anytime, come by anytime and it doesn’t have to be just to sleep with her,” she laughs, “you can just hang out if you want” 

“Hey, I'll walk you out” you reach for his hand, Eddie follows you to the door. He stepped outside, the cool air blowing into the house, you leaned against the door. 

“How long until the team knows?” you ask, he chuckles. “Maddie’ll tell Chim, Chim’ll tell Hen, she’ll tell Athena and then Bobby’ll find out” 

“So let’s give it two days ?” 

“2 days.” 

The two of you are just standing there, looking at each other, not saying anything. Eddie grabs your hands, “can I tell you something ?” 

“Anything” 

“You know how I'm trying to get Chris into that new school ? And I went for the interview” 

“Yeah, did everything go okay ?” 

“Yeah no, everything’s fine. It’s just that, uh- well you see,” 

“Eddie, spit it out” 

“They want to interview Shannon” he looks at you, your face is unreadable. Eddie’s brows furrow, he’s trying to read your expression. 

“His mom, right? Did you tell her? Because if that’s what it’ll take to get Chris in, you should tell her” 

Eddie sighed, a feeling of relief washed over him, “I thought you’d be upset” 

“Why ? It’s for Chris plus, nothing’s going on between you guys, right ?” looking at him, you were now trying to read his expressions. 

“Nothing’s happening, I haven’t seen her in years”  

Eddie gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. You smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. “Go home now, they're probably wondering where I am” you whisper to him, Eddie’s hands come up to your face. 

“Goodnight y/n”

“Good night Eddie” 

--

Anger, sadness, you didn't know which one you felt the most of right now. 

Eddie stood across from you, the two of you were in the living room of his house. Initially you had come by to spend the day with him and Chris, and to see how the interviews went. Upon arriving, you realized that Chris wasn’t home, Eddie told you that he was out with Shannon for lunch. 

“I didn’t- no, let me explain.” he looked over at you, taking a step over to you. You stepped back, you didn't want to be near him right now. 

“Explain then.” 

“She was feeling vulnerable, she felt like what happened to Chris was her fault and she was crying. She was blaming herself and felt horrible for leaving. I was just trying to comfort her.” 

“you couldn't comfort her without kissing her ?” you spat, your words laced with anger.

“Y/n, I didn't mean too. I pulled away, she kissed me” he tried to defend himself. 

You asked him the impossible question, the one he knew was coming, the one he didn't have an answer too. 

“Do you still love her?” you looked over at him, his answer would determine the rest of this relationship. 

“I’ll always love her, she's Christopher’s mother.” 

“Eddie, yes or no. Do you love her ? It doesn’t matter if she’s Chris’s mom.”

Eddie didn't say anything, he just stood there. You nodded, running your hand through your hair. Picking up your bag, you pull something out of your bag. Eddie watched your every move, he could see the hurt on your face, he truly never meant to hurt you, that was never his intention. Stepping towards him, you shove the picture frame from your bag to him. 

“This was for you” you say, Eddie looks down at the frame. It was a picture of the 3 of you. The 2 of you had taken Chris to the zoo one weekend and taken a few pictures, it was a picture from that weekend in one of the colourful frames from the gift shop. 

“When did you -” 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

Eddie followed your steps to the door, he watched you walk out on him. Once you go to the car, you look back at him, “You know, I hope things work out between you and Shannon, for Chris’s sake. He deserves to have both of his parents in his life.” 

Once again, Eddie doesn't say anything. He watches as you get in the car and pull out of the driveway. He watches you drive down the street, he watches until he can no longer see you. 

On the other side of the city you sat in the car. How do you tell your siblings that you ended it with Eddie because he kissed his wife? It’s not that you didn’t know he was married, he had told you but he also told you that it didn't even count to him, she wasn’t around. 

Was there even something to end ? 

The two you aren’t exactly exclusive nor did you ever say that you weren’t dating. Maddie and Buck were both at work, you took the time to go inside and pack up your things. You didn't want to leave like this but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell them in person, simply for the selfish reason that it would hurt you and to see Buck’s face when you have to tell him why you’re leaving would break you. You took all these things into consideration when you wrote the letter to them. 

To my Buck and Maddie, 

I love you both dearly, let me just start by saying that. I’m sorry that I had to leave so suddenly and with no explanation. There’s nothing here for me, at least not what I came in search of.

The two of you are my whole world, you know that. These last 5 months have been some of my favourites but our time has come to an end, at least for now. I promise I’ll come back and visit soon but I can’t stay here, not right now. I need to leave, to get myself together. I know what the two of you are thinking right now (I’m a Buckley too, don’t forget that) that you can help me get myself together but you can’t.

The reason why I’m leaving is Eddie. Well, not entirely, he didn’t tell me to leave but I feel like I should, for his sake and for Chris’s. As you both know, Eddie and I have been seeing each other but we never made it official, we just - well I just assumed we were. I went to see him today and he said he kissed Shannon and he still loves her, he “always will” so I told him that whatever we had is over and that I hope things work out for him and Shannon because Chris deserves his parents in his life, together, if they can make it work. I couldn’t tell you this in person because it would hurt, hurt me and hurt the both of you. Please remember it was my choice to leave, don’t take it out on Eddie (especially you Buck) he didn’t do anything wrong, I knew he was still married to her. If anything, I was the other woman and I don’t know why I allowed myself to get sucked into that.

Regardless of what happened between Eddie and I, don’t let that change the way you treat him. He’s a good man and he deserves happiness. I’ll find mine too, even if it’s not with him. I love you both, I’ll call you when I get home.

All my love,

Y/n.

---

*4 years later*

Buck’s birthday was this weekend. He didn’t have plans but in Buckley fashion, Maddie wouldn’t let his birthday go uncelebrated. Hence why you found yourself wandering the terminal at the airport, waiting on your brother to pick you up. 

“Uncle Buck!” the little girl shouted and sprinted down the terminal to the man in the green shirt. “Stella!” he shouted, meeting her halfway and picking her up. You made your way over to your brother, “hey birthday boy” you smile and pull him in for a hug. “Hey you, you know it’s not my birthday yet right ?” 

“I know, can't I be excited ? I missed your stupid face” 

“Oh thanks” he rolls his eyes playful, he’s carrying Stella with one arm and pulling a suitcase with the other. You tugged the other suitcase alone with you as the 3 of you make your way over to the car. Buck gets Stella strapped into the car suit and then gets in. Halfway through the drive, Stella falls asleep, she kept insisting on staying up the entire plane ride and kept talking about how excited she was to see her aunt and uncle. The car ride was quiet for the most part. Buck asked how your flight was, he caught you up on his life, you told him about Stella’s first day of school. 

“Who’s coming tomorrow ?” 

“Maddie and Chim, Hen and Karen, Bobby and Athena,” 

“Bobby and Athena.. as a couple ?” 

“Yeah, they got married”

“And neither of you told me?” you smacked his arm, he whined.

“Hey! I'm driving! anyways, Eddie and Chris are coming too” 

That’s who you really asked the question about, you wanted to know if you’d be seeing him tomorrow. 

“How’s Chris ?” 

“He’s good, he’s grown up a lot since you last saw him.”

The rest of the drive was quiet, you watched as the cars passed by and you couldn't help but think what could have been if maybe things had ended differently. Buck carried a sleeping Stella up to his apartment, you followed him with the luggage. Chim opened the door, Buck went to carry Stella up to his bed so she could get a proper nap. Chim helped you with the luggage. 

“Y/n! it’s so good to see you again” he hugs you, you smile. “It’s good to see you too! I missed you guys. Where's the boss lady ?” you follow Chim’s glance to the stairs, Maddie was giving Stella a kiss as Buck took her up. 

“Mads!” 

“Y/n!” 

She came down and pulled you into a bone crushing hug, “god I missed you” 

“I missed you even more” 

After everyone was situated, Maddie began naming off jobs. “Chim, cake and balloons tomorrow, pick up is at 2. Y/n and I will decorate, Bobby said he’s got most of the cooking done and Athena will help him. Hen and Karen offered to get a banner, I just said yes because who doesn't love a banner?” she laughed, you, Buck and Chim exchanged glances. “And Buck, you just be ready.” 

“As for right now, boys we need beer.” she said, the two of them standing there, looking at each other cluelessly. 

“Go! That means go!” you say, Buck groaned and dug his keys from his pocket. 

“I forgot how bossy the two of you are together” he teased, you pushed him towards the door and they headed out. 

You and Maddie were sitting on the couch, planning out the last minute details. “Stella’s gotten so big” she says, flipping through the binder in front of her. “Yeah, she keeps surprising me everyday” you chuckle. 

“She looks a lot like him” Maddie glances at you, the smile drops from your face and you nod. 

“His twin, she acts like him too. The same pulled together emotions, she’s a fighter just like her dad” 

“That’s good” 

“No I mean, she really is a fighter. She hit some kid for taking her snack” 

Maddie and you ended up in a laughing fit as you tell her the story. Sometime later, the sound of little feet pattering down the stairs caught your attention. “Auntie Maddie!” your daughter shouted as she straight to her aunt in the kitchen. “Hi sugarplum!” Maddie picked her up and gave her a hug. “I missed you” she says to her aunt, Maddie smiled at the little girl, “I missed you too” 

Chim and Buck come in a few minutes later, you were laying on the couch watching tv and Maddie had Stella up on the counter, they were having some sort of dance party in the kitchen. “Who’s this pretty girl with you?” Chim asks Maddie as he walks over to him. 

“This is Stella, my niece, she looks like me that's why she's pretty” Maddie tells him proudly, you roll your eyes at her comment and you hear Buck groan. “Shut it, you're just jealous you’re not hot like me” she gives Buck a look. 

“Stella, this is my boyfriend, Chim” Stella takes a seat on the counter, looking at the man for a few seconds before saying anything. “Are you a firefighter ? Like uncle Buck?” 

“I am, how’d you know?” he asks her

“Magic,” she giggles 

“I might have to hire you for my next party then,” Chim jokes, “it’s very nice to meet you Stella” he lifts his hand to give her a high five, Stella pulls him into a hug instead. 

The 5 of you have dinner before Maddie and Chim head out. You, Buck and Maddie were in the kitchen going over something and Chim sat with Stella on the couch. He was teaching her how to play some video game Buck left on, “uncle Chim?” the little girl called to him, he smiled at her and the fact that she called him uncle Chim.

“Yeah?” 

“This game is weird” her face screws into a weird expression, Chim laughs, “it is, isn't it ? How about we go see if Buck has ice cream ?”

Before he could get up, Stella had already ran off to the kitchen, Chim trailing behind her. Stella tugged on Buck’s hand, he looked down at her, “Do you have ice cream ?” 

“In the freezer, do you need help ?” 

“Nope”

She let go of his hand and waddled off to get the ice cream from the freezer. You lifted her onto the counter and opened the container for her. Your back was turned for a moment to get her a bowl and a spoon, turns out she had already found a spoon and was eating straight out of the container. Sometime after that, Buck decided he was going to bed, Stella didn’t like that idea so she followed him up the stairs and began bouncing on the bed. 

“Stels, come on, I'm tired” he told her, he watched the little girl bounce up and down on the bed. 

“No! I'm not tired, come bounce with me!” she shouted, Buck sighed. 

“5 minutes okay ?” Buck gets up on the bed with her. 

You were in the kitchen with Maddie and Chim, “excuse me for a minute, let me go get her before she kills Buck with her energy” you left them in the kitchen by themselves. 

Chim turns to Maddie, “Stella’s dad didn't want to come down for the party?” he sees how Maddie tenses up for a moment. 

“Uh, her dad isn't really in the picture” 

“Oh, does he know about her?” 

“No” 

The conversation drops, Maddie stands by the window and Chim makes his way over to her. “You know, she looks a lot like Eddie” he looks over at Maddie, her focus on something outside the window. “Maddie ?” 

“She’s his daughter” 

“He doesn’t know?” 

“Y/n left LA right when his wife came back. She found out she was pregnant a few weeks later. She had me and Buck, she didn’t want to drag Eddie into it.”

“Shannon died, Maddie. She could have told him.” 

“That’s exactly why she didn’t. He just lost his wife, she didn’t want to drag Stella into a messy relationship, Eddie needed time and she gave that to him.” 

“Do you know if she’s going to tell him ?” 

“I don't know, but that’s not our decision to make. What you heard here, stays here. Promise me that” she looks over at Chim, she loved that man with her whole heart but he wasn’t exactly the best at keeping secrets.

“I promise”

--

Turns out you can plan a party in a week. 

Everyone had arrived at Buck’s place, everyone was scattered around the apartment. Bobby and Athena in the kitchen with Karen and Maddie, Chim and Hen were by the tv with the kids, Buck was still upstairs trying to find something to wear. Stella ran over to you as you came back down from the kitchen. “Mom, look!” she pointed at the cake that was on the table, “I see it sweetie” 

“Can I have some pleaseeeee?” she looked up at you, “a little later, you gotta let Buck blow out the candles first okay ?” 

She ran off to go play with Nia and Denny. Someone knocked on the door but no one else seemed to hear it, you walked over and opened the door. 

There he was. 

“Y/n!” Chris wrapped his arms around your waist, you leaned down slightly and hugged him. “hey buddy, how are you ?” 

“I’m good, I missed you” 

“Awh, I missed you too” 

You could feel Eddie’s eyes burning into you as you and Chris walked into the apartment, he followed the two of you. Stella came running back over to you. “Stella come meet someone” you called to her, she stood beside you, looking up at Chris. 

“Who’s that momma?” 

“Chris is uncle Buck’s friend’s son, now you play nice okay ? I don't want trouble” 

“I'm Stella!”

“I’m Christopher!”

You crouch down beside her and point to Eddie, “that’s Christopher’s dad, Eddie, why don’t you say hi?” Stella marched up to him, she leaned her head back and looked up at him. “Hi!” she smiled at him, Eddie looked down at the little girl in front of him, she had to be around 3 or 4, she had brown hair and the same smile he did. Eddie glanced at you and then back to Stella and once at Chris. 

That couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Hi Stella, I'm Eddie” he smiled at her, she gave him another smile and made her way over to Chris. She began telling him about the plane she took to come see her aunt and uncle, the two of them walk over to Nia and Denny together. 

Standing up, you and Eddie are now looking at each other. “Hi” he steps closer to you, you don't move. “Hey” you move slightly closer to him.

“How have you been ?” 

“Good, you ?” 

“I’m okay, can't complain” 

“You never do. Want a beer ?” 

“Sure” 

Eddie follows you to the kitchen, you pull 2 beers out of the fridge, handing one to him and opening the other for yourself. Standing across from him, he asked you “how old is she ?” 

“4″ 

“How come you never told me you had a baby ?” 

“We stopped talking after I left, I wasn’t going to call just to tell you that. I figured Buck would have told you.” 

“He didn’t” 

Right on cue, the birthday boy came down the stairs. “Wow all of you are here for me ? I must be so special” 

“You know you are” Maddie pokes his cheek. Buck went around to say hello to everyone, he started with Eddie. You took that time to leave the very awkward conversation you were having with him and made your way to the kids. 

--

Chim dropped the bottle in the trash and headed to the fridge for another one, the party was well underway and everyone was having a good time. Well, expect for Eddie. He couldn't shake the fact that Stella looked so much like him. “You want another one?” Chim asked him, setting the bottle beside him on the counter. “Yeah, thanks”

The two men stood in the kitchen, chatting about work and just catching up. Chim had a slight buzz going and he kind of let the secret he wasn’t supposed to tell, slip.

“How’s your kid?” he leans back against the counter, looking at Eddie.

“Chris ? He’s good”

Chim shook his head, “no no, Stella”

The bottle nearly fell from Eddie’s hand, he looked at Chim. “What do you mean Stella ?”

Chim realized what he said, he turned the other way and began walking. “Chim!” Eddie grabbed his arm, “what do you mean Stella ?”

“I've already said too m- oh Maddie’s calling for me, bye” Chim walked off and left Eddie standing in the kitchen by himself.  Eddie looked over at the little girl sitting beside Christopher, she looked like him, there was no denying it. She had his smile, the same brown hair, she even had the same hazel brown eyes. You were walking into the kitchen when Eddie grabbed your arm.

“What ?” you look at him.

“I need to talk to you”

“Let go of my arm and maybe we can talk” you push his hand off of your arm. Buck made his way over to the kitchen, he could feel the tension. “Is everything okay ?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine Buck, Eddie’s just gonna come with me to get the candles from the jeep, right, Eddie ?”

“Yeah, we’ll be back in a few”

The two of you stepped out of the apartment and walked down to the parking lot. You did forget the candles in the jeep so it wasn’t a total lie. “Is she mine?” Eddie blurts out, you turn to face him. “Is who yours?”

“Stella. Is Stella my daughter ?”

“How’d you-”

“Chim let it slip”

You groaned, Maddie must have told him. It wasn’t a big deal that she told him, it was a big deal that Eddie knew.

“She is.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“It didn't make sense too”

“Y/n, she’s my daughter! of course it makes sense to tell me!”

“You had just gotten back with Shannon, I didn't want to drag you back into something you didn't want. I’ve raised her for the last 4 years and I'll continue to do so, it doesn’t have to change now because you know she’s yours.”

“Shannon’s- she’s dead.”

“I know, Buck told me, I'm sorry.”

Eddie let out a sigh, his hand ran through his hair. You stood in front of him, the two of you in the blistering heat, having a conversation you never planned on having.

“She wouldn't have stopped me from being in Stella’s life”

“I know.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“Eddie, you had just lost your wife when Stella was born. It didn’t seem like the right time to come to LA and tell you I had a baby, your baby.”

“What about after that ? It's been 4 years y/n”

“Eddie, come on. Would it have made a difference ? It wouldn't have fixed anything. I would have still just been some girl you slept with.”

Eddie looks at you, his expression softened, “is that what you think ? that you're “just some girl” I slept with ?”

You didn't answer him, you didn't have an answer for him. There were so many times you had wanted to call Eddie and tell him about Stella. When she said her first word, took her first steps, her first day of school. You wanted to share all those times with him, like a normal family.

“Y/n,” Eddie stepped towards you. “You were more than just some girl. You always said that Chris deserved to have both of his parents right ? And he did but what about Stella ? Doesn't she deserve that too ?”  Eddie’s arms wrap around you, your hands on his chest.

“She does,” you sigh, “I can't just tell her your uncle’s friend is your dad, Eddie.”

“So we’ll take it one day at a time. I want to get to know her, and you. I want you back in my life, in our lives.”

“Eddie, I have a life, a job, Stella has school. We can't just leave everything.”

“As I said, one day at a time. I want this to work, don't you ?”

“I do”

“How about we get lunch ? Or dinner? The 4 of us. If you feel like this is something you want to do, you want us to try and make things work, for the kids, we can. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Eddie pulled you into a hug, things felt at ease for once, like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, you weren't carrying a secret anymore. You never meant to give in so easily but Eddie had this hold over you, one you couldn't shake, regardless of how much time you spent apart. You ended things because of what happened between him and Shannon in a parking lot and here you were, making up with him in a parking lot.

Talk about full circle.

--- 

taglist: @mikaelson-emma @ssa-volturi @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover @venusrosepetal

[andreafmn]

Running In Circles - Chapter 1

Word Count: 3,196

Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, George Foyet, Multiple Unsubs and Victims

Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others' story line.

Chapter: 1/?

Chapter Description: (Y/N) remebers her first day in the job and recounts all the cases and events that led to the downfall of George Foyet. 

A/N: I decided to say fuck the anxiety of posting and put up my Aaron fanfiction. It’s been gathering dust in my documents folder and I love writing too much to keep it to myself. I’m not sure how many chapters this will have but there’s already 8 chapters all finished up. Soon I’ll be posting ff of all the fanfictions I enjoy also! If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

Next->

Chapter 1

“Good morning, BAU!” I said as I walked through the doors of the elevator and entered the bullpen. I could still remember how it felt the first time I got here.

I walked out of the elevator and made my way to the first office on the left. I was to meet

SSA Aaron Hotchner for an interview to join the BAU. My hands were shaking, and my body was getting warmer by the second. But I remembered my father’s encouraging words. “You’re gonna do great, mia bella.”

Not only was I extremely young, but I also had a lot to live up to. Being the daughter of SSA David Stephen Rossi was no easy task. He was an amazing agent, mentor, and father. He always pushed me to be the best at everything I did. When I started high school, I decided to get a head start on my college studies and applied to dual enrollment. When I graduated I did so with a Bachelor’s in Computer Science. Then, I worked my way to a Master’s in Psychology and Social Work, and a Doctorate in Criminal Justice. At the same time, my father trained me as a profiler. All my life I knew I wanted to be in the FBI, just like him. I was always impressed at all he did and wanted to be just like my hero. The day I told him I had been recruited by the FBI and was set to work in the BAU he said it had been the greatest day of his life.

Now my shaking hand raised to softly knock on the door before me.

“Come in,” someone said from inside. The door softly creaked as I opened and was met by a tall man with dark hair and a shorter blonde woman. “Agent Rossi, welcome.”

“Thank you, it’s an honor to be here.” I smiled and shook Aaron Hotchner’s and Erin Strauss’ hands.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Agent Rossi,” Erin smiled. “Have to say, you have a very impressive curriculum and your disinvolvement in our past interviews and tests have been outstanding.”

I smiled and turned the bracelet on my wrist for comfort.

“I must concur with Chief Strauss,” said Hotch. “I believe you will be a great addition to the BAU team.”

After sharing a few pleasantries and being handed my badge and gun, I was following Hotch to the briefing room to meet the rest of the team. Formally, at least. I had heard everything about them when I spoke with my father. He left no detail out.

“Morning, everyone,” Hotchner started. “I called you all in early today so you could meet the newest addition to the team. This is Agent (y/n) Rossi.”

To the sound of my name most of the mouths in the room dropped.

“Rossi, as in David Rossi?” The slender, messy haired agent said. I could only assume that was Spencer Reid. As my father had described him, a curly mess dressed in vests.

I nodded.

“Rossi, you didn’t tell us you had such a beautiful daughter.” That would be Derek Morgan. The hottie Casanova with a silver tongue.

“I hadn’t?” My father questioned and smirked, knowing full well the answer.

“Well, he’s talked a lot about all of you,” I smiled.

“All good things I hope,” Emily smiled.

“Great things,” I returned the smile. “I could probably make out who is who by the things he’s told me.”

“Go ahead,” Aaron challenged.

“Alright,” I cleared my throat and started going around the table. “Curly hair, vests, analyzing everything I’ve done and said since I walked in… you’re Spencer Reid.”

He smiled brightly.

“Tall, dark, handsome, and a silver tongue. Plus, you checked me out as soon as the doors of the elevator opened… Derek Morgan.”

He smirked.

“Calm, cool, and collected. Quiet but present, inspecting my presence here… you’re Emily Prentiss.”

“She’s good,” Emily muttered to Morgan beside her. I continued.

“And last but not least, bright colors, fun accessories,” I said looking at Garcia. “Even though you’re smiling, you’re not sure about me yet because you don’t like change and are probably going to dig up everything you can on me as soon as you can… Penelope Garcia.”

She stiffened and Derek chuckled.

“Don’t worry, I get it. I do not like change that much either. And here,” I reached my hand into my bag to pull out a rather thick folder. “I’ll save you the work. Background check, complete internet history, social medias, and all the whatnots you would need to build a very extensive profile.”

“Oh, thank you,” she reached out her hand and grabbed the folder, smiling at the floor.

“And well, I already know Agent Hotchner and my father, so they don’t need much of an introduction.”

“No, but you do,” my father said joining my side. “Tell them a bit about yourself.”

“Well, I have a bachelor, two masters, and a doctorate degree: I’m 23, I’m Rossi’s daughter…” In the middle of my thought process dad cut in.

“She’s beautiful, she’s intelligent, and she’s the one I call when I’m stuck on a case.” I smiled.

“She also passed every test with flying colors,” Aaron added. “And her profiling skills are exceptional.”

“Thank you,” I blushed. “I think it runs in my blood.”

“Well, welcome to the team,” Aaron continued. “Let’s get to work.”

That was almost three years ago. A couple of days after, I met JJ who had visited with her newborn son Henry.

In very little time I had grown attached to this family. I was most of the time partnered with Spence and we developed an amazing bond. It did help that I loved playing chess and we could have highly erudite talks. Also, I very much enjoyed his over sharing of facts. But really, I was close to them all. On my spare time I was found watching movies with Derek and Penny, perusing book shops with Reid, having girl nights with JJ, Penny, and Emily, or sipping on top grade scotch while finishing paperwork with Hotch.

Spending time with Hotch was my favorite pastime of all.

I realized I had developed feelings for him the day he was captured by Foyet and left at the hospital. Receiving the call from Emily that she had found blood at his apartment literally knocked the air out of my lungs. Reid could tell that my reaction would not have been the same where it had been any of the other members. For some time, he had deduced my attraction to our unit chief. Once we had captured Patrick Meyers and Reid had been sent off to a hospital, we sped off to St. Sebastian Hospital. I could feel my heartbeat going faster and faster as I felt time slipping by. More than once I had asked Morgan to go faster and with sorry eyes, he told me he was going as fast as he could.

Seeing Hotch on a hospital bed, greatly hurt, broke me. I knew everyone on the team, just like Reid, had figured it out. I was the first one in when the doctor announced he was waking up. His eyes fluttered open as JJ, the last one to enter, made it in.

“Where am I?” He groggily asked.

“In the hospital,” dad answered.

My eyes could not leave his face, even as all I wanted was to imagine him in a different state. Derek told him how he made it to the hospital and Emily asked Hotch what had happened. Closing his eyes, Hotch explained step by step how everything had gone down. Upon more investigation, we quickly figured what Foyet had taken and, a page from his planner that held his ex-wife’s and son’s current address and a picture of them, respectively.

Once we had that information, the team knew exactly what to do. Emily and I volunteered to stay behind and update the team if anything changed. As soon as he went to sleep, we let out a locked breath. But the relief was short lived as his pulse started to get exceedingly fast.

“What happened?” The doctor asked.

“I don’t know,” I croakily muttered out. Emily put a hand on my back as I softly touched his arm.

“Agent Hotchner. Can you hear me?” The doctor called out. “Agent Hotchner?”

He finally opened his eyes and responded. “I’m okay.”  

The doctor asked us out of the room as she checked on him and Emily helped stabilize my walk as we made it out. I saw the doctor and a nurse check him as I picked the skin of the thumb of my right hand. Emily noticed and grabbed it, knowing well of my nervous ticks. The other being closing my fist hard enough to dig my nails in it.

“He’ll be okay,” she smiled. “You know he’s a fighter.”

I softly smiled at her, not knowing if she said it for me or for her to believe it too.

Once we knew Haley and Jack were safe the three of us let out a relieved sigh. Hotch squeezed the hand I had been holding as he slept, needing the reassurance of a trusted presence next to him. He asked Emily about the scene at his apartment, but she could not give him definite answers. In a moment of silence, she excused herself to go buy coffee and I took this chance to ask him what had been going through my head.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” I asked worry evident in my eyes.

Sighing, he responded. “I don’t know. After he stabbed me the first time, it all goes blank.”

He looked straight into my eyes and I could tell he knew more than he let on, but now was not the time to push him. He had been drained: physically, emotionally, and mentally. In that moment, Haley walked in and I let go of his hand to leave them to talk. From outside of the room, I could hear the heartbreaking moment and knowing he was in pain shattered my heart. That day had absolutely devastated us as a team, but it only made us more determined to find Foyet and end him.

But life and work went on. The whole month he was off, I spent most of my free time helping in his recovery and his healing, using the little training I had in wound treatment. The other part of my time I spent with Reid, who was also in recovery. A far less pressing injury, but an injury, nonetheless. And he was my best friend, so I could not completely abandon him.  

We were all worried about him coming back to the team with Foyet still out there, but dad reassured us he would only be more motivated. Yet the first case back, he was different. He was usually professional and understanding, now it seemed that no matter how well we worked, we would make a mistake. And when we finally tracked down the unsub and he made his way inside the house, no vest, and no gun, I knew there was something different in him. I tried to follow him inside, but dad stopped me.

“We have to trust him,” he told me. Even with those words we were all unsure of the outcome. My head was working 1,000 miles a minute coming up with different ways this could all end up in, and when I heard the gunshots, my mind only went to the darkest end. Quickly we stormed in the house and saw Hotch putting handcuffs on Darrin, and a very dead Jarvis on a recliner.  

My father spent most of his time with me reassuring me that Hotch was still the same man he had been a month before. And I spent most of my time with Hotch reassuring him that he was not alone.

At the end of most cases Emily, dad, and I sat with Hotch in his office to drink a cup of scotch and unwind after a stressful day. I stayed nights overtime often and was there on the night that Strauss had landed a surprise visit to his office. The next day he became hyper focused on Derek’s work, which later he revealed to me the reason why. The bureau was questioning his leadership and he meant to step down as unit chief at the end of that week. This ended with Derek becoming active unit chief whilst Hotch was being investigated.

The days that followed were quite strange. We were used to taking orders from Hotch and now taking orders from Morgan was completely different. But business went on as usual. We worked on cases just as hard and solved them just as efficiently. With one case always hanging on us like a dark cloud. George Foyet. With every case we finished we knew he was still out there, which meant that Hotch was still hurting and hunting.  

But the dreaded day had caught up to us. With the last case we had been on in Hampton we knew Foyet had found Hotch. He was taunting Hotch, dangling his life in front of him. Once he had sent us that calling card, we pressed harder on our investigation, pulling at whatever string we could find.

Thankfully, JJ pulled our medication string harder when she found out about the ability to substitute prescriptions with over-the-counter meds. We worked tirelessly and strongly to shorten the investigation part of this case. We needed to catch him, fast.

“Wait a minute, guys. Foyet likes things that have meaning to him,” I said looking at the map presented in front of us. I could see that Reid knew where I was going.

“The eye of providence, the addresses in blood he wrote on the bus that led back to him,” Spence added, and I nodded.

“Maybe he’s doing the same with his name,” I said as Reid wrote down George Foyet on the board.

“Like an anagram or something,” Emily chimed. Quickly, Reid got to work on the theory crossing out and circling letters. Adding ‘The Reaper’ onto the board and utilizing it, once Hotch had pointed out Foyet gave himself that name. He kept up this process until the name Peter Rhea came to existence.

Garcia tracked down the name and quickly found an address in Arlington. We had found him, but it was just too easy.

We were waiting outside of the apartment building for too long, waiting for something, anything. Once Morgan had given his orders, the plan was set in motion. Still, something in the back of my mind kept telling me it was too easy. We stormed the empty apartment and searched for anything that would help us find his actual location. His computer was quickly deleting files, but Garcia was better. Haley’s protection unit was in trouble.

As soon as it clicked, we were on our way to the stash house. Inside the house Marshal Sam Kassmeyer was hurt, losing blood quickly. With the little he was able to tell us we knew that Haley and Jack were in danger. Sam had not told Foyet anything, but George was smart, unfortunately. He had disguised himself as a Marshal and lied to Haley to get her where he needed her. Only him had communication with her. Everyone was on edge wanting nothing more than to find this man.

In the office we heard Hotch’s conversation with Foyet. He was working hard to buy some time for us to find him but knowing George he already had a plan set in motion. He had eyes on the pair, he was with them. I could only imagine what Hotch was going through.

“Alright, Foyet has to be in control,” Derek said, breaking me out of my thoughts. “He had Haley come to him.”

“Yeah, but where would he take her?” Spencer asked. We all started thinking and speculating. There was something in the call that told Hotch where to go. That was the key.

“Reid, what did he say, exactly?” I emphasized on the last word.

“Haley’s hair looks good dark. She’s lost some weight. It must be because of all the stress you caused her. Where’s the little man? Oh, there he is now. Do you think he likes Captain America because of you? That’s your wife on the other line. Hold, please. Hi. Open the gate and I’ll drive in.” Spencer recited in a monotone voice.

“Open the gate?” My father questioned.

“It would be someplace with the biggest emotional impact for Hotch,” I said looking down to organize my thoughts.

“And Haley has access to the gate,” Derek added, and it clicked.

“Their house,” I said. “Where they lived together.”

“Of course,” Emily said. “Foyet planned this all the way to the end. It’s everything to him.”

“He wants to take over Hotch’s house, to be in control, to prove his dominance,” I finished. We knew where he was going, and I was sure Hotch knew too and was already on his way.

On the way, Hotch got a call from Foyet’s phone. It was Hayley. I heard the emotion grabbing him by the throat. We could hear the whole conversation and my heart broke when he asked Hayley the magic words.

“Tell Jack that I need him working on the case,” Hotch breathed out. One drunken night he had told me about how he had found Jack inside a storage bench in his office after he had knocked on it. The smiling kid had told his father that he was working the case with Hotch. Hotch knew what was going to happen and so did I. This was the best chance Jack had at survival.

When Hotch told Jack to hug his mom and he said I love you, I let out a loud sob and Emily grabbed my hand tightly for support. But I was not the one that need the care. Hotch did. Haley’s words would forever be engraved in my head, and in the heads of our friends.

Three gunshots rang through the line right before it cut. Then I could not hold back the tears. I knew. I just knew.

Hotch was the first one on the scene and all I thought of was that he did not have a vest or any backup, so god knows what could have happened. For the second time in a matter of months all I could ask for was that Morgan drove faster.

At the house, Morgan was the first one in and the scene that unfolded in front of us was heartbreaking. Hotch was hitting Foyet over and over, and Derek had to hold him back. He was dead. I surveyed the scene and instinctively went to Hotch’s office, Hotch following close behind. Jack had to be there. I let Hotch walk past me and watched as relief overtook him when he lifted the lid.

“I work the case, daddy,” Jack said. Unbeknownst to everything that had happened. “Just like you said.”

“You did a great job buddy,” Hotch lifted his son out of the bench.

“What happened to you, daddy?”

“I’m okay. I want you to go outside with Ms. Jareau. Ok?” The child walked to JJ and she took him out in her arms.

And Hotch let go. He silently cried and I helped him make his way to where Haley laid. I stood by the door and turned away a police officer. Morgan stood up and squeezed my shoulder as he left the room behind the officer. I stayed outside of the doorframe, listening to the sobs of a strong man.

Next->

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Y/n and aizawa get in a real big fight and y/n ends up kissing hawks and y/n keeps it’s a secret but aizawa ends up finding out through eri

Ooooo I like this one a lot!!! I hope u enjoy it I had a lot of fun writing it💕

"I think your overreaching." You said in a monotone to Aizawa

"I think your under reacting." He spat back at you, "Obviously, he has an another motive."

You rolled your eyes, "Hes my friend. Thats it shouta. Hes been my friends forever. Hawks is harmless."

The two of you were arguing about the only thing you two ever aruged about

Hawks

Aizawa wasn't comfortable with the realtionship that the two of you had

The lastest issue being an interview the two of you did together and hawks couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself

Aizawa didnt care that you two had practically grew up together

Or that the two of you did most of your missions together

One because whenever hawks was around it was obvious he was flirting with you dispite you being in a relationship with Aizawa

And two even through he knew you were fateful he couldnt stop the voice in the back of his mind saying maybe you would rather be with someone your own age

Someone you could relate to better

Unlike him who by his own words was a 'tired old man'

But you were content with your relationship with Aizawa

Yes he was older but you liked that about him

"Shouta I dont know how many times I have to tell you, it just isn't like that with hawks." You laughed

Aizawa clearly not seeing anything funny about about this spoke up again "You say that but clearly you've been leading him on if he doesnt even care to flirt with you even when im standing right there!" He yelled at you, "I dont want you hanging out with him."

"You're not my dad Aizawa! You cant to wll me what to do!" What started off as a little argument was turning into a full out yelling session

As it usually did whenever hawks was the subject

Aizawa was letting his insecurities speak for him and was saying words he knew he didnt mean "I dont see why you even stay with me, you like being around him so much why don't you just leave me and sleep with him already."

And feeling hurt you hurled insults back, "You know what? For once you might be right." And not wanting to sit in the apartment with him anymore you stormed out

How could he say something like that to you kept asking yourself

Why didnt he trust you?

You had never done anything to betray his trust so he really had no right

But deep down you knew you weren't so innocent

You could tell hawks to stop with a the flirting and stuff but you didnt

Just being content with it knowing it bothered Aizawa

And that wasnt right

And yes hawks was your close friend and you had to admit he was attractive and charming but you had gotten over your silly little crush for him

The moment you met Aizawa

As far as you were concerned hawks was just a friend

And thats why you found yourself venting your relationship problems to hawks tonight

The two of you were sitting on his couch alone in his apartment

As you ranted about the nights events

And as usual hawks sat there with an open ear and agreeing with you about how right you are

"I say hes cramping your style y/n,"

"You're a grown woman. He cant tell you what to do!"

"He should trust you!"

Basically telling you everything you want to hear

It was well into 2am when you finally calmed down and was seeing clearly

After a few more laughs with Hawks

"I just dont get him sometimes, if I wanted to be with you I would have just started dating you." You said with a laugh

But you notice hawks didnt seem to find that as amusing

Silence grew between you two until he spoke up

"Why didn't you?"

"Huh?"

"Why didnt you decide to date me?" He asked you

That question had been weighing on his mind since the moment he found out you were dating the eraser hero

"Keigo you know why..I...I-you're a player. And you never take anything serious-all you would have done was hurt me."

"Thats not true." He said in a rush

Hawks was looking into your eyes, "if it was you I wouldnt do anything to hurt you...its always been like that for me."

"Keigo..." you didnt know what to say

Yes you knew he always had a little crush on you but you convinced yourself it was harmless

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because even he said it! Why don't you leave him y/n? Me and you we'd be perfect together we both know it."

"Keigo...I love Aizawa."

"So you dont feel anything for me?"

"Its not that keigo..."

"What is it like then?"

You didnt want to tell him you didnt love him because secretly you knew a part of you did

But still

"I should leave." You said getting up and heading for the door

Keigo followed you, "y/n dont go."

He stoppes you before you were out the door, "look im sorry, I...I.. just love you y/n and I just hate seeing you with him..."

You turned around to face him sighing and trying to avoid his gaze "I dont know what you expect me to do keigo im with Aizawa..."

"I know," keigo moved his hand to your face to make you look at him, "but just for a second imagine you were with me."

And before you knew it keigos lips were on yours

You knew better then to kiss him back

But that didnt stop you

And since you didnt reject him, keigo took that as a sign to deepen it

You don't know how long you stood there kissing him

But when you felt his hands start to explode your body

It brought you back to reality

You pulled away realizing what you had done, "I cant do this." And before keigo could stop you

You left

You returned home that night to find Aizawa awake and waiting on you

"Did you go to see him?" He asked

And sighing you told him the truth or at least part of it, "Yes, I did."

"Y/n-"

"Look im sorry," you spoke up, "I should consider how you feel. Its not right for me to let him flirt, ok im sorry Aizawa it won't happen again."

You tell him trying to hold back tears as the guilt ate away at you

Aizawa's face softens as he looked and you and moved to hold you in his arms

"I was wrong for what I said. I know you wouldn't do anything."

His word only made you feel worst

Aizawa kissed your forehead, "lets go to bed."

And so you planned to keep what you did to yourself

You kept a distance from Hawks not knowing how to interact with him from then on

And all this did was hurt him

Keigo missed you

You were his bestfriend and the love of his life but now you were avoiding him

And worst he still had to see you with another man

And it drove him crazy

And to an extent it drove you crazy too

He was your bestfriend too, and you didnt know how to talk to him anymore

And Aizawa had no idea about what you had done

That is until one day when hes watching eri and she tells him

"Are you and y/n not together anymore?"

Aizawa frowned, "No. Why do you say that?"

"Cause, shes likes hawks." She said idly "I heard her say she kissed him."

Aizawa stared at her

Did she know what she was saying?

"When was this?" He asked

"She said it on the phone to her friend. When she was watching me."

Aizawa was at a lost, because he believed eri, cause why would she lie?

Aizawa didnt want to admit it but the idea of it being true

Broke his heart

He was in love with you, but you wanted someone else

Plus you lied you said nothing happened

So with this new knowledge Aizawa went to confront you that night when you two were home

"Eri told me something interesting..."

"Oh yeah?" You asked not really paying attention

"She said you-you kissee Hawks...is this true."

You snapped your head at him

And if it wasn't that it was definitely your silence that confirmed it

"Y/n...why?" He asked you

And you could hear the pain in his voice

And it made you hate yourself knowing you caused this, "I'm so sorry."

A part 2? Maybe? Let me know

[lokiondisneyplus]

Most Marvel post-credit scenes hint at the future. Loki opted for a blunter approach: the God of Mischief would return in season 2.

Based on the final turn of events, there was really no other choice: Loki (Tom Hiddleston), having journeyed to the furthest point in spacetime with his variant Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) to meet the founder of the TVA, a scientist-turned-survivor-of-multiversal-war known as He Who Remains (Jonathan Majors), finds himself zapped into a new reality when his lady self slays the omnipresent being. The mind reels!

Creator Michael Waldron takes delight in the endless possibilities of Loki’s core premise. And as a veteran of Rick and Morty, he knows what anchors a mind-bending show, and what will keep Hiddleston’s character hurtling through his chaotic, rewritten future. Below, Polygon talks to Waldron about landing on the key choices of Loki season 1, what to expect from season 2, and a bit on his next project, the wrestling drama Heels, which is set to premiere on Aug. 15.

Did you know there’d be a second season of Loki from the beginning or was that choice made later in the process?

Michael Waldron: We always knew that it was a possibility. We always knew that we wanted to propel Loki and these characters out into the MCU after this, into further stories. But that didn’t really crystallize as a sure thing until we were in production and everything. And as we were really figuring out the finale.

So you were still cracking the ending as you shot the show?

There was a hiatus due to the pandemic. So things were constantly being retooled because of that. I think, by and large, everything with He Who Remains and the Sylvie-Loki conflict was always there. But that cliffhanger was the sort of thing that suddenly became a really appealing opportunity, a chance for that to lead into a second season.

What element of the series helped you crack the macro story of Loki, and made all the other pieces fall into place? Each episode almost feels like a standalone adventure, similar to Rick and Morty, but what helped it all click?

The first couple of weeks in the writers room was just laying out the individual episodes. It was very important to me that each episode stood on its own, and you could say “This is the Lamentis episode,” “This is the apocalypse moon episode,” “This is the Void episode.” I didn’t want it to just be cut up chapters and have one long continuous story. Obviously, we had to figure out the time travel for things to slot into place. I think a big idea for us was the way you get around the TVA by hiding in apocalypses. That felt like such a big, cool, exciting idea that it drove the action of episode 2, episode 3, and in a way it’s like Alioth is the ultimate apocalypse that He Who Remains is hiding behind. That sci-fi idea cracked a lot open for us. I know that after we had that I went home and I slept a little sounder.

Did adding the multiverse to the Marvel Cinematic Universe feel like blowing something up or expanding it, in terms of narrative possibilities?

In the same way that after the first couple Iron Man movies, and with the first Avengers, suddenly these movies were kind of going to space. Then we had Guardians. I think of the multiverse as another version of that. It’s new ground to cover, and particularly interesting because characters meeting other versions of themselves and other versions of people they know is... cool. That’s just a cool sci-fi concept! But I think with anything, as you expand outward, it only works if the humanity remains. It’s exciting to watch characters dealing with big crazy multiversal conflicts because we can see ourselves in them. I think you just have to hold on to the humanity that makes these stories work in the first place.

Did you go back to the Thor movies for Loki? Was there anything to find in the past of Marvel as you were paving the future?

Absolutely. I mean I watched them many times, contrary to what Twitter might think because I did some bits on there saying that I’ve never seen Avengers and I upset some people [laughs]. I have seen it many times. “Confirmed: Loki writer has seen Avengers and saw it before writing Loki show.”

In fact, I was watching all these movies on a loop in the writers’ room. I gleaned so much because you watch the evolution of the character. Avengers was particularly informative because our story picks up Loki right after that, but I also I found a lot of inspiration in Thor: The Dark World, a maybe sometimes maligned movie that I actually really enjoy. I just think there’s great stuff with Loki being tangentially responsible for the death of his mother, how he reacts to that. That is the start of his journey of that version of Loki’s redemption, so I was inspired by that.

What’s propelling the characters into season 2? Where are you headed in basic terms?

In season 1, you saw a lot of characters reckoning with and questioning their own glorious purpose, and that glorious purpose changing, [characters] realizing that that can change. Everybody except for Sylvie. I think she holds onto hers, which is vengeance, and to the detriment of us all, perhaps. And we’ve got a Loki who, at the top of our show, assessed himself as a villain and, I would argue, at the end of our show, has become a little bit of a hero. There’s nothing more heroic to me than fighting for the right thing and losing. You see that washing over him as he’s there back at the TVA, after Sylvie has knocked back there. And then he gets up because that is what heroes do — they keep going. So I think that you’re gonna see a Loki that looks at himself in a different way certainly that at the top of this.

Do you hope to explore more of Sylvie’s backstory in season 2?

I guess we’ll see. We certainly have our own rich backstory for her, stuff that didn’t get to make it into the show. Elissa Karasik, our episode 2 writer, wrote a lot of amazing backstory for Sylvia and everything. So those ideas exist out there.

And her version of Thor?

Tune in.

How did He Who Remains come about? Did you bring the character to Marvel or was that a character Marvel hoped to introduce?

I was pushing and our team was pushing early on in the writers’ room that it should be a version of Kang up in that Citadel, sort of fusing the mythology of He Who Remains with a little bit of the Immortus mythology. And that was a thing we were excited to do. And it became clear that it actually made sense for our story. The only way we were going to do it was if it made sense, but it was like, who had a better argument for creating the TVA to prevent other versions of themselves from existing then a guy as evil as Kang the Conqueror?

You wrote the upcoming Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness — did Marvel hire you for that after Loki? Does the movie feel like a continuation of the show?

Yeah, that opportunity came as we were getting ready to start production on Loki. It was a pleasure. I got to work with Sam Raimi, a hero of mine. I was in London for five months making that movie at the top of this year. We had a blast. I think that it’s a continuation in as much as ever every Marvel movie is to some extent a chapter in an ongoing story, but these things are meant to stand alone and the most important thing about Doctor Strange too is making the most kick ass Doctor Strange movie we could.

Is Loki a two-part show now or are you invested in telling a longer story with future seasons beyond season 2?

Time will tell, but I do my hope is that season 1 stands on its own. We always wanted to tell a complete story there. And in whatever the next chapter may be will stand on its own as well.

Your next show, Heels, is already on the way. We got a big preview out of Comic-Con this year, but I’m curious about the scope of this story. You’re starting with two brothers running an independent wrestling franchise, but you’ve dropped the name “Vince McMahon” a few times — is this about the building of an empire? Would you liken it to The Godfather or Breaking Bad?

I always thought about it a little bit of a Scorsese-sort-of rise, and we’ll see if there’s a fall. Starting from humble beginnings and trying to build some crazy. Wrestling was certainly not always the empire that it is and that’s what’s interesting, to watch the evolution of a family-run wrestling business from something you do in your small towns and perhaps a national, even global empire. That would be a really compelling arc for a show over the course of several seasons. I’d be excited to explore that.

What’s the most dramatically fulfilling wrestling moment you’ve witnessed? What’s the bar for the wrestling drama of Heels?

It’s gotta be Hulk Hogan turning heel in the WCW. There was an invasion storyline, these guys from WWF, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, came over and they were the bad guys. It was at a Pay-per-view and and they were beating up on the good guys that you love, and here comes Hulk Hogan in the yellow and red and he’s the hero. “The Hulk’s gonna get ‘em! The good guy’s here!” And then the Hulk just leg drops Randy Savage. That was the original Red Wedding. I just think about the boldness of turning him heel. To a little kid... I wasn’t even like a massive Hulk fan, but he was just such a mythological figure. What a chance that Hulk Hogan took as a performer, as a bankable kind of movie star at that point. That was bold, risky storytelling and it set off two years of amazing storytelling with Hogan just playing a craven, cowardly heel and just being so evil. I really respect the hell out of them for doing that. That was a great storyline.