#plus i did it last year and think i watched maybe 4 games all year

[darth-maya]

alright, I'm doing fantasy football at work, and now that I'm out, I 100% plan on having a trans related team name, but I need more ideas

right now I'm leaning towards "The Trans Agenda" but I've always been real bad at coming up with team names

[remidyal]

So I'm going to start speculating a little about future D20 seasons, just because we're running out of JY and thinking about that makes me sad.

My guess is that we're getting another four side quests, plus the replays of the Time Quangle live shows, before whenever the next IH season is (probably jan or feb 2025). From Dropout's production schedule, most likely at least two, probably three, and maybe all four are either already filmed or filming presently. The strikes may have disrupted this somewhat, however.

We know the names of two from the 5th anniversary video; we also know from the JY FAQ for a fact that one of these two, called "Never Stop Blowing Up" is next.

In the last few years this has been the slot for a campaign not GMed by Brennan or Aabria; I'm going to actually guess that there's a decent chance Brennan also won't be a player though I'm not at all sure of the timing with paternity leave and all. What the season is from that title could be a lot of things, though social media stars or stuntpeople have been guesses I've enjoyed. I think this is going to be a new setting, rather than something set in a preexisting universe, but I could be wrong there and there's been speculation that it might be something Starstruck (in which case I WOULD expect Brennan at the table).

GM possibilities for this or any other season even just from among people who have played on D20 before are too widespread to even do a complete list; highlights who have played on but haven't GMed for D20 and who I understand have experience (and would be excited to see) include but certainly aren't limited to Jasper, Ify, and Anjali from various side quests. Among the IH, Siobhan has made it fairly clear that she's not interested in GMing. I don't know if Ally has experience or not but they would obviously run something wild and I'd be here for it. Lou I believe has DMed home games but not actual plays; I'm uncertain if he'd be interested in running for a show, but I'd certainly watch if he did. Emily and especially Murph have a ton of experience as well but I think NADDPOD is kind of too much for Murph at least to GM outside that. Zac is low-key the IH I think is the most likely to end up GMing a season; rotating heroes is a thing, of course, but I don't think the workload there is as high as NADDPOD's.

We also know a Dungeons and Drag Queens 2 is coming at some point. The most likely format for this is a straightforward sequel with Brennan GMing for either the same four players or four different Queens, but I would actually love to see one of the players from the prior run step into the GM seat if any of them have gotten deeply into the hobby in the meantime. If they swap Brennan out for another DM here, this would maybe be the one season where I'd be delighted for it to be Murph, simply for the makeup possibilities. (One possibility is simply that he wears Cody Walsh cosplay for the season.)

I also think (or maybe I'm just trying to speak into existence) that we will get another 10-episode Aabria-GMed season this year, probably as the lead-in right before the next IH season for the third time running. Burrow's End and ACoFaF are both out of this world, stellar seasons to me (MiMa is... complicated by how much I want the property it's mocking to fade from memory, but that isn't its fault or hers) and I want to see what she does next.

Last, probably between D&DQ2 and that 10-episode season if that happens, we'll probably have another 4-6 episode original. If Brennan DMs D&DQ2 and Never Stop Blowing Up, this will probably be someone else; otherwise, not much to go off of.

It's possible that the live shows end up filling in one of these slots and are treated as a season until themselves, but I think they're going to be released not all in a row but rather to fill weeks between seasons. This might just be a greedy hope on my part, though! I do hope Brennan sits out at least one season, and I'd love it if the person who GMs who isn't Aabria or Brennan is someone who's done less prominent projects. (I'm actually talking myself into really rooting for a Zac-GMed season, though Ify's been my main hope for a long while.)

One thing that does seem to have shifted lately, specifically in Dropout's marketing - in the past, they were always extremely secretive about seasons past the currently airing one until it was complete, with the names not even known until the release of the season trailers. This changed a little when they teased Matt Mercer gming a season (which turned out to be RavWar) during Never After's airing; it's changed much more in the last two seasons, with a teaser for Junior Year coming out before Burrow's End had even started airing and with the names of multiple seasons being given in advance. It wouldn't surprise me if we continue getting little seeds for future seasons as we move forward.

[yanderes-galore]

hello hello, may i request a springtrap romantic concept (fnaf 3)? :3

Sure! Honestly, I'm surprised I've written him this much but haven't done a general concept yet.

Yandere! Springtrap Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Sadism, Stalking, Manipulation, Violence/Murder, Kidnapping, Possessive behavior, Blood, Emotional manipulation, Threats, Slight gore, Forced "relationship".

It's already been established in all of my Springtrap and William fics that Springtrap is sadistic and ruthless.

During FNAF 3, Springtrap would see tormenting you as a game in his obsession.

By the time he meets you on Night 2 to Night 5, Springtrap sees you as his personal toy.

I'd say his obsession is a moderate speed.

He's technically obsessed once he meets you but his motives change.

Throughout your job he goes from trying to toy and maybe kill you... to wanting to keep you around as a twisted form of company.

Most of his obsession is him playing along with your audio cues.

He always gets so close before leaving you alone.

It's like he's playing/teasing, peeking through your window or from behind the door.

He loves to stare at you, silver eyes staring into your soul.

He craves your fear more than your blood being shed, as heard in one of his AR lines.

Don't get him wrong, he loves the sight of blood from his victims.

It's just farming their fear lasts longer.

Which is essentially what Springtrap is doing until the climax of his obsession.

He's just out of sight, climbing into vents and sitting by your window.

He likes it when you see him so he can watch the fear settle into your face.

When he's bold he'll warm up his raspy voice to speak to you.

Your initial shock at him speaking makes him thrive.

It's him setting down hints that he isn't what he seems.

He's no malfunctioning robot, he's something else.

Based on the smell you can guess.

Plus when you get a close up look at him through the window or doorway, you can see some sort of gunk clings around his metal.

It all makes you very nauseous.

Your little game is simple.

He tries to get in to "claim his prize", while you try to keep him out.

For the first few nights it's easy.

Then by Night 4 Springtrap gets more aggressive, his obsession creeping ever closer to a climax.

By Night 5 or 6, it's almost game over.

Springtrap thinks he's played nice long enough.

As he's watched you these past few nights... he's wanted to get his hands on you.

The idea of making you scream, to feel you in his metal claws, well...

He hasn't had such excitement in 30 years!

Just when you think you'll complete your week, that you'll walk out and leave, Springtrap surprises you.

Before you can do anything all your systems display an error.

You try your best to fend off hallucinations, to reboot your systems to put out and audio lure or seal off a vent.

Only for Springtrap to appear in front of you in the darkness.

He moves the monitors out of the way, a permanent grin on his face.

"Hello there, doll~!"

They way you scream makes him laugh.

Oh you're so cute when you're vulnerable!

He watches as you fall out of your chair, staring at him with big scared eyes.

"I loved our game... hope you wouldn't mind having it every night, dear?... or did you have something else in mind?"

Your game on your last night switches things up.

Instead of him coming to you in your office, it's you running through the attraction away from him.

It's agonizingly long... you're constantly darting in and out of vents and hiding behind walls.

Yet Springtrap knows your attempts at escape are futile.

Eventually you'll grow tired, eventually you may even injure yourself... then he'll strike.

He knows this place better than you.

You aren't the one roaming it every day and night in a bored stroll.

Which means only he knows about the secret backroom.

One he expertly corners you beside, just to push you inside and close the door.

The game is now over... he's won.

You're trapped in the roam, the smell of the rotting animatronic stunning you.

You look around, no other escape....

Where is this? A storage room?

"I've been waiting for this." The greenish rabbit hums, keeping you trapped in a corner.

"You see... you're just about the only company I've had in years. Decades, even."

You fear to ask, yet you try;

"Decades?"

"I've been dead for thirty years in complete agonizing silence. Dead yet living in this robotic shell. But honestly? I've never felt more alive!"

The rabbit laughs, standing over you.

"Now... I have long awaited company, doll. You'll be fun to play with. I think I'll have a lot of fun with you."

This becomes your fate.

You're forever meant to entertain the remains of the sick serial killer.

If he feels he has to, he'll make you immortal with him.

It'll be painful... but to him he thinks it'll be worth it.

That way... he can keep you with him forever as his doll, pet, and toy...

Even when the building burns down... you'll be stuck with him... forever his.

[jenroses]

I just ordered a bunch of pieces parts that I'm gonna turn into a computer.

I've built systems before, like eh 15 years ago or more, and I cannot overstate how delightful it is that the persistence of modularity means that while the system I'm building now will be functionally the equivalent of dozens of times the power of the computer I built then, the bones of it are all pretty similar.

Motherboard. Cpu. Cooler. Power supply. RAM. Storage. Case. Fans. Graphics card. Operating system. Monitor.

Now some things have changed. You can now buy literally everything with vivid rainbow lights, and for a few minutes I stared at the pretty modern cases with their windows and rave -like interiors, and dreamed of the gayest computer on the planet.

Then I remembered that I'm a photophobic mushroom who computers in a darkened room and hates bright high contrast lighting and spent more dollars to get a case without a window.

Also, water cooling terrifies me. Not because the idea is unsound but because while I'm confident in my ability to insert tab a into slot b to assemble a computer by going slowly and following instructions, the very notion of me handling liquids around electronic components sounds inherently fraught.

So I did not go with components which require such things.

Infodumping below the cut.

(for the curious: fractal design define r5 case, msi pro z790-p WiFi ddr4 mobo, i5136000kf (14 core), 64gb ddr4 RAM, radeon rx6800 16gb, deepcool ak400 zero dark plus cooler, 4x 140mm case fans, Corsair 850w modular platinum ps, 1 tb ssd for the os and a 2tb ssd for the games, both pcie4x4 nvme, and a curved 27 inch 2k monitor. This is upgrading from a 2015 laptop which is still very robust with an i76700 quad core processor, 16gb RAM, 1tb ssd and a gtx950m 4gb graphics card which just this year stopped meeting minimum specs for the games I want to play. I figure the new system could last me another 8-10 years.)

Is 64 gb of ram overkill? Hahahaha yes. But it's about a hundred bucks. Is 3tb overkill? No but it's also about 120 bucks. Do I need a 27 inch monitor? Mayyyybe but it's $200. The real splurge is the video card and CPU, but I'm not going to regret those at all when I'm playing starfield and bg3.

(I'm also going to play every game I've been playing at low settings on ultra just because I can. Subnautica is gonna be so pretty.)

Interestingly, the parts come with three games, including the one I initially decided to build a system for (starfield). The processor comes with assassin's creed mirage and something I didn't recognize. Going with Intel for the processor and AMD for the GPU ended up being very much in my favor that way as if I'd gone ryzen, I'd have ended up with two copies of starfield.

I think the last time I built a system from scratch it had 4-8 gigs of RAM and a 2gb video card and maybe a dual core cpu maybe not. I've done some bare bones systems since then and a lot of upgrades, but not from-the-ground-up.

Amusingly, while doing this, I thought I was going to hand my laptop down to my son. Then I realized that in a pandemic fugue state in 2021 I bought him and my husband computers with part of the stimulus that were basically maxed out refurb systems that somehow are running 32g of RAM each and the only real weakness in their systems are graphics, which hubby doesn't use and which can be easily upgraded for my son for like <$150 to double his vram.

I have minimal memory of buying these systems but it makes sense for how little they complain about them. (old Dell optiplex systems. I think I spent 400 on each of them at the time. With upgrades.)

So since I've been hyperfixated on this process I've been watching a lot of pc building YouTube and it's been very helpful but also very popcorn. So much drama. Le gasp.

My one regret about not getting a flash light up system with lots of rgb is that it would impress the hell out of my 11 year old but I seriously can't deal with that much light up distraction and the extra cost for the components has been spent on a better GPU.

Anyway this is all going to be much cheaper than trying to find a system with equivalent stats prebuilt, and it's been a while since that was true when I was in the market for a computer.

[strawberrycamel]

Oh hey I have another one! Smash Bros., the only hyperfixation I have that beats Toonami in how obsessed I am with it. 25 years old as of last January. I will also be talking about the lore. A lot of this stuff will be partially me interpreting the events in my own way. It starts when the og 12 playable fighters...most likely get kidnapped and either get turned into or have their consciousness put into doll version of themselves. Sakurai said it himself that the first game is of toys trying to escape the world they were put in...but everyone interpreted that as them really being toys and that they were trying to escape into our world. So maybe I see it the way I do out of spite? Who knows. Anyways, the toy fighters defeat the one who put them into this situation, rendering them unconscious at the very least...but in the process, returning to inanimate states. Melee is rinse repeat of this situation except now they're trophies/statues and the fight for freedom is much harder. Also there's two final bosses now. At the end, they manage to negotiate with the otherworldly beings into fighting still, but on their terms, cuz yeah, the fighting was pretty fun. Then Brawl happened. We all know what happened in Brawl. Subspace happened. The original being from the first game, who you can probably tell is Master Hand at this point, gets captured by the embodiment of Subspace, Tabuu, in order to fool certain villainous...and very gullible Smashers to being commanders of the Subspace Army. Mr Game and Watch has bugs in him that are used to create the majority of said army and R.O.B., who goes by the Ancient Minister for most of the story, has his people held hostage in order for the enemy to create bombs that suck the world that the story take place in into Subspace...and is one the characters who gets the shortest end of the stick in this story. His home, the Isle of Ancients, doesn't even come back at the end of the story like the other locations that were sucked into Subspace cuz waaay too maby bombs were set of at once and has rendered the former land into nothing but a literal sparkle in the sky. And him no longer haaving this home plus the rest of his people wiped out and still canon in later entries. And then Smash 4 happened...which technically doesn't a story like the last one did. But what it does have is a new boss in the form of Master Core, an entity that comes out of Master hand, I kid you not, when the difficulty is high enough (speaking of! the first time I fought and beat this boss was on accident!) There's no canonical explanation as to just what Master Core is- whatever flavor text we have for it in game is pretty vague. So the way I interpret is that the Swarm, the substance that makes up most of this boss, and the true form, the true Master Core if you will, are intense emotion given form that runs on pure instinct and whatever emotions it spawned from and the...well just put an apostrophe+s in between its name and there you go. It probably showed up now because...well, get captured, literally puppeted, be forced to watch as the world you created gets sucked into the one you're stuck in, most likely be in pain the entire time, nearly die after escaping...and you understand that Master Hand, to say the very least, is fucking traumatized. THen Ultimate happens and we all know what happens here too. Or at least I do. I might be one of the only people out there actually enjoyed playing World of Light. ANyway, both Master and Crazy Hand get captured this, Galeem light beams everyone to death, and renders all non fighters and non boss entities in what's implied to be the multiverse...into spirits. Except Kirby cuz his warp star can warp out this existence for a few seconds. I also personally interpret Galeem and his counterpart, Dharkon as alternate timeline versions of the Hands where went south for everyone after Subspace, to say the very least. ANd that's only what I can think of off the top of my head as explanations for each game. ..You can probably tell I've put a lot of thought into these things.

oh shit smash bros lore my beloved!! i've played all the games (not finished, but played!!!) so this was a treat

master hand going Thru it in these games huh dkjfhgdfjg RIP

[kahlanmars]

PAPER RINGS part.4

So here we are, with another chapter, and now I wanted you to cry. Did you cry? I HOPE SO. Plus, our favorite Four boy is here!

MASTERLIST

4. I was screaming “Go, go go!”

FIVE MONTHS BEFORE CAPITOL 

«Do you think Katniss will come to dinner?» You ask, chopping the last vegetables on the plate. You are not a great cook, Haymitch is definitely better when he is in the right mood, but today he spent the morning chopping wood - a great sight you might add, sweats on his shirtless chest - and you don’t want him to do everything.

«No, I don’t think so, from what I’ve gathered she wants to spend dinner on the phone with her sister.» Katniss can’t legally go to her sister in District One. Or Two, you don’t remember, you only remember that Mrs. Everdeen has been kind of a bitch about it. You understand it’s not easy for her to see her house being destroyed, the very same house she used to live with her husband, and Prim on a wheelchair has been the last straw, but at the same time she has two daughters, not one. Katniss is almost an adult, but by the way she always bargains in your home with an excuse she feels lonely without a parent. Hell, sometimes you miss Holly at home. Lora often tells you how Chaff has been fundamental for her in the months after the Games, he became a parental figure for her, helping her crisis. And she is young, but an adult.

Katniss is a teenager who killed a dictator, she needs a mom.

«Oh. So sad.» You beam at the kiss on the head Haymitch gives you. «So does that mean we don’t have to do anything today?»

«Not more than usual, no.» And you’ve done the usual. You cleaned, you removed the dust, you fed the disgusting birds. You are still recovering and he doesn’t even want you to do this, but you don’t want to feel useless.

«Can we snuggle up and watch a movie?» You propose, as you feel two strong arms around your hips. He doesn’t like Capitol movies, but you love them. And there is no such thing as a Twelve movie, so he better get used to them. You adore romantic films and he snorts all the time, but they put you in a romantic mood so he bears them if it means hot sex after the movie session.

«I have a better idea, tell me how you do what you do.» He proposes. You watch him, a little confused.

«What do I do?»

He looks at you like you don’t understand basic math. «Your dresses.»

«Really? You want to know that? You’ll be bored.» You don’t think he even knows what you do for a living. He knew better when you were a teacher, because he likes to read - he loves to read - but now you suppose he is in the dark. Sometimes he says you “Want to wear dresses”, and that would make you a model, not a stylist. And he must have some sense of the difference, in all these years of Games, but at that time Effie used to do all the work for him. He just had to show up and suffer.

«Let me choose if I get bored.» He kisses your knuckles. 

You smile brightly, giving up your objections almost immediately. You feel proud that he wants to know you better. «Ok, I’ll show you.»

Five minutes after you are showing him your stuff. Some sketches, most of them are the ones you plan to show Portia, one or two for him. He is a great subject, and you like sketching clothes for him, something with a strong Twelve taste but also fashionable. You sewed him some outfits, and now he doesn’t always wear only a pair of jeans and a shirt, he wears three pairs of jeans and three shirts. Baby steps.

«And how do you begin?» He wants to know, and maybe for the first time he sees you working.

He is usually in the same room as you, but he is always doing something else. Feeding the geese or cooking or cleaning something. Or it’s the middle of the night and he is trying to sleep like the rest of the world, while your mind tells you “That idea is incredible and you have to draw it now or you will lose it!”.

«Well you sketch it, like this, then you make a model and then…» You continue to explain it, and he shows interest. You teach him about the dresses and the blouses, the shoes and the sandals, how to design a zip and what are the difficulties about it.

As you keep on, you find out he is watching you, not the sketches. «What?»

«You are fucking beautiful when you are passionate.» He whispers. He cups your cheek with his big hands. He is so gentle when he wants to, and he rarely wants to (you have bruises in mysterious places to prove that) but his touch can be the touch of a gentleman.

You try not to blush. «Why, thank you.»

«Thank you.» He leans out for another peck. 

«For what?»

This time the kiss is deeper, slower. He wants to prove to you that he is here, he is not going away. The scent of pines and woods is intoxicating, it’s the kind of scent you steal sweaters for.

«For being mine.»

PRESENT DAY

It happens in a moment. Haymitch takes a step back and then sees you and freezes. Marjorie looks at you with a guilty expression on her face. Everyone is paralyzed, until Ivy waves her little hand at you. She is adorable in a new pink dress, different from the one before. This baby has more dresses than you.

«Hi, Auntie Daisy!»

You can’t cry in front of a child, so you pat her head and you take your bag. 

Don't cry in front of Ivy, she'll think she did something wrong. Don't cry, don't cry.

«Goodbye.» You murmur, and you start running but Haymitch is right behind you. You don't even want to know what he has to say, you don't even care. He cheated on you. Kissing another person is cheating. Dear heavens, he is so jealous he would have killed someone if he was you.

«Daisy please-» He begins but this time you turn around quickly and you have such a murderous expression on your face that he takes a step back. He is a Victor and he adores it to remind you and to everyone else, and maybe you didn’t win anything, but you still survived the Hunger Games. You are a killer just like him, you have blood on your hands and nightmares too. He knows he can’t push it. He knows you are dangerous too and you are in therapy because of that, but therapy is not a miraculous system that cures you in two days.

«You don’t get to say please.» You are raging, and you are actually quite proud of yourself because your first instinct is to chop his head off. The second is to cry out loud, but now it would be showing weakness, and you won’t. The third instinct is, and you are very ashamed of yourself for that, to jump in his arms and forgive him immediately because the mere thought of not having him around is suffocating.

«Let me explain.»

«Did you fall and land on her lips?» You growl, a sound you rarely make.

«She kissed me.» He argues. 

«I know. I know she fucking kissed you!» You turn around again, but this time he is faster than you and circles around to face you. «But you let her!»

«No I didn’t, I was surprised, she barged into the house…» That’s another thing to explore. What was Marjorie doing in your house? Oh, wait, it’s his house, just his, not yours. What was Marjorie doing in his house? She magically sensed you two were having a fight or what?

«You were surprised? Surprised? Haymitch, she’s been after you for a whole year, how could you be surprised?» You yell, but now you don’t care. You are giving a pretty show for the village to see. «Do you even want me?»

«What? Of course I want you, Daisy, we have to get married.» We have to. Like it’s something he doesn’t want to do anymore, like it’s an imposition. You defloured the girl, you ruined her and now you have to marry her. Or maybe, maybe you were thrilling at first, the pretty young girl who has a thing for him, and now you are just a boring woman he has to deal with on a daily basis.

«Then why do you spend time with her?»

«She, she needed help. I owed her.» The same fucking excuse all the time. She did it because of me. She lost everything because of me. Well, the entire district lost everything because of you victors and you don’t see him befriend everyone around.

«You are full of shit. So righteous. The great Haymitch Abernathy, the victor!» You shout, like you are introducing him in a show.

«Daisy-» He tries to grab your arm, but you shake it off of you. He can’t take another step in your direction, you can’t be trusted around him. You like him too much, you love him too much, and if you thought you were smart and intelligent, around him you feel like you are too young. 

«Where was she when you were drinking? Did she clean you, did she stay with you? No, I did it. I was there. Don’t I deserve it too?» 

He should have known better. He should have known that he could have hurt you so much you now feel like you are dying. 

«Baby…»

«No Daisy, no baby and don’t you dare call me Sweetheart. I love you. But this is not working.»

His face goes pale in a second. «What?»

«We are not working. I can’t be the only one who cares about the wedding, and when I return home you say it’s your house and you kiss your ex fiancé!»

«We were sixteen.»

«You should tell her that, not me.» She is the one who kissed you. She is the one who is willingly ruining everything. You are the one who is letting her do it. 

«Daisy please, let’s talk about it. Please. Please, don’t give up on us.»

«You are giving up on us! Not me, you! I never even once looked at someone in the Capitol. You kissed her. For a moment, tell me the truth.»

«Yes... For a moment. I didn’t even know what I was doing!»

«I can’t.» You try hard not to cry. «I can’t, let me go.»

«No.»

«Let me go!» You slap him to free yourself. He watches you in disbelief, but you are walking to the train station.

You slapped him.

You hit him.

You don’t do this. You, as a couple, don’t hit each other. Even when things are not pretty, even when the urges are there because there are urges to hit when you are in the Hunger Games, you don’t cross the line.

You cry all your way to the Capitol. You have your sketches and not much more, just what was in your bag at the moment. Your luggage is still in Twelve, but the thought of going back is heavy. You always have your id and your documents in your purse, so you don’t need anything else. 

You keep thinking it was a mistake. He didn’t want to kiss Marjorie. You should come back. But your guts hurt and you don’t want to see him, not now.

Your Haymitch. This wasn’t a crush anymore, you loved him, you love him. And he loves you. He loves you, right? But if you love someone you don’t kiss someone else, this is not how it works, at least not for you. You see Perla, Effie or Lora are stunning but you don’t desire them, you only want him.

A voice tells you you couldn’t survive this. Your love flourished in war, you are at your best when your life is in danger, when everything is messy and chaotic and you don't know if there is going to be a tomorrow.

Some days are not good, some days you can't get out of bed. These days, Haymitch stays with you. He kisses your hair and keeps you in his arms, he doesn't care about tears on his shirt or smudge makeup from the day before.

«Don't worry, I'll protect you. I'm here now. Don't worry.» He sings like a chant in your ear, keeping you close.

«Forever?» You murmur.

«Forever and a day more, Sweetheart.»

Some days are bad for him too, days in which the urge for a drink is almost too strong for him to resist, the shaking is heavier and the headache is insufferable. He stays in the chair, worried he could hurt you, but you end up in his lap, stroking his hair and whispering sweet words. You are so strong, you are my man, you are courageous, be strong for me.

In this you excel. You are a great couple. But when things are quiet and calm and it’s all right to stop and breathe, you are not capable of doing it. 

You have no clue why he asked you to marry him if he doesn’t want to. You didn’t expect it, it’s not something you joked about, and you have been on cloud nine because of it but you are so young it wasn’t your first thought. But now it is, now you want to get married with him, you want to be Daisy Abernathy, to sign with his name and you are proud to be his.

He is not proud to be yours. He doesn’t care one bit.

You still have three days, so you stop in the only place you can disappear to. 

District Four.

When you knock at his door and he opens, Finnick Odair can’t believe you are there. His blonde hair is longer and he seems a bit tired, but he is handsome as always. You thought he was at work, but you now remember he doesn’t need to, he has the Victor’s money. Not everyone is like Peeta, who likes the bakery.

«Daisy?»

You try to resist, but you start crying hard and you push yourself in his arms. He is confused, you appeared in his district unannounced with no warning and you didn’t go to Perla but to him, but he is one of your best friends and you didn’t feel like giving any explanation to Perla. 

Perla doesn’t like Haymitch. She will probably be very happy.

«Daisy, hei, what happened? You are worrying me.» He hugs you back. You must be a sight, with crazy hair, puffy eyes and a red face, without makeup on. 

«I don’t think I’m with Haymitch anymore.»

THREE MONTHS BEFORE

«Do you like District Twelve?» Haymitch asks you. He is feeding the geese, and you are trying to mend a pair of his jeans, on the patio. The scene is so awfully domestic and you smile so widely it hurts.

You like living with Haymitch, lingering until ten in the morning in the bed, kissing every chance you can. It’s not forever, you will have a job but it’s the perfect recovery.

«Yeah, my love, I like the District where I was born and raised.» You laugh, «Why?»

«I mean, you didn’t choose it after the war. You didn’t even choose the house.» He shrugs. You can feel his brain working, he is one of those days. His hands are shaking more than usual and his mind goes in dark places. Places where he loses you, you go away because you are too young or too bright for him, at least it’s what he says.

«It’s a bit difficult when you are in a coma.» You deadpan as you see him walking towards you. 

«Very funny.» He strokes your cheek. «You are happy, right?» 

«I would have chosen it. I promise.» You get up to kiss him and you hum in joy when he puts his hands on the pockets of your trousers. «I would have chosen this house and this bedroom and this man over everything.»

«Isn’t it a bit boring for you?» Boring. You are not bored, you are never bored. You are enjoying your life, your peace. You thought you’d never have peace in your life ever again, so this is like paradise. 

«Boring? Are you bored?» Maybe this doubt is his. Maybe he is the one who wants his life back. The old grumpy man who lives alone with his animals. It must not be easy for him to share his space with you all the time, even if he is the one who decided it. He switched from doing everything alone, with no timetables or schedules whatsoever, with a freedom you could only have when you live alone, to stay with you twenty four hours per day, a routine he has to be a part of, not always leading it. And with you of all people, a person who he loves, but you are not the easiest girl alive. You scream at night because of the nightmares, you are clingy, you have difficulties at being alone.

«No, but I’m forty. It’s not exactly fun around here.»

«You are fun!» You protest. «I’m always very entertained, thank you very much. I get what you mean, it’s not Capitol’s “All parties and stuff”, but I’ll have my fair share of them when I get to Portia. And we could arrange a holiday in Four to see Finnick and the kid. That way of life is a holiday, tho, a trip. This is real life. And I love it.» The smile you only give to him it’s so blinding he has to believe you. 

«Yeah? You mending and me feeding the geese?» He goes for a peck that you decide to deepen, because he looks too good with his blonde hair in the sun and his eyes are so blue and his arms are majestic.

«Yes! And you cooking, and you baking, and you cleaning and you prepa- ah!» You squeal in surprise when he lifts you up in a laugh. «Ruffian! Put me down!»

«So it’s me cleaning and me cooking and me doing everything, and you?» He laughs, and he packs your ass.

«I look pretty.» You declare. 

«I’ll tell you pretty.»

«Put me down!»

«Nope.» He goes straight to the house, with you on his shoulder. «You look too fucking beautiful for me to release you.»

PRESENT DAY

«Here, a cup of tea.» Annie hands you a beautiful light blue mug and you take it with a brief smile. Annie is sweet, and you can’t see a glimpse of an annoyed reaction for your ambush, but you feel a little guilty. She is only twenty two and a kid under one year, she must be exhausted. 

«Are you sure I can stay here for a few days?» You ask her. You don’t feel like facing the truth, and you know you will need to give explanations. Effie has her problems, Lora too… Perla will comment on it and you can’t deal with it right now. You just want to lick your wounds in peace. And you are exhausted yourself.

«You are always welcomed here, darling.» She answers you with a sweet smile on her face. «Finnick is alive thanks to you.»

You actually don’t remember it this way. The way you know it, Finnick saved your life and now you are barely even.

«Go rest, my love.» Finnick kisses her cheek, with Finn asleep in his arms. «I’ll stay with Daisy.» 

The sight of the Odair family, two people so young and in love, with their perfect life, it’s almost unbearable. You are envious, and you still want them to be the pretty family they are but you want it too, and since you are a spoiled little brat the first instinct is to stamp your food and demand for it.

As she goes, he looks at you. «You are not bothering anyone here. Stay as long as you want to.»

You want to cry. You love him so much, and you love his wife too. You just want to go to bed and cry for a week. You feel like your heart is not beating anymore. You just want to stop everything.

«Are you sure it’s not too much for Annie? I can help with the baby.»

«I don’t work, Daz. I can handle it. Now, do I have to kill him? Because I’m quite good at it. And I look good doing it.»

You really want to laugh but when you try your eyes fill with tears, so you just shake your head. «No.» 

You quickly explain everything, and you must be really ridiculous in your yellow top and blue skirt, a happy outfit for what you’ve thought was a happy evening.

«Do you want to know what I think?»

«If it agrees with what I think, gladly.» You deadpan.

«I think you need to go back to Capitol City.» That’s new. You thought he was either going to say that you needed to talk to him or to forget him. 

«Ok, I thought I needed to-»

He stops you. «I don’t care now, and I think you need a few days. You have to sleep, Daisy. I’m sorry but you look like…»

«Shit?» You guess. 

He shrugs. «I wouldn’t put it in these words… but your eyes are red and you look terribly tired. Tell me what you usually do.»

«In a day?» 

«Yeah.»

«I fail to understand what it has to do with-»

«Just tell me.» He sits on the couch with you and he takes your hand. You didn’t realize how much you missed him until now. You don’t have a brother, but you feel a little like he is. He is the one that saves you, and sometimes you hope you save him a bit too.

«I work. Basically I work.»

«And nothing else?» The mere thought of doing anything else is not fun. You don’t want to think about anything else, just Haymitch, but if you think about Haymitch you want to cry and scream and punch him.

You shake your head. «I don’t have much time. I want to go back to… I wanted to go back to get married.»

«But you are losing all the Capitol experience! Hell, I hate that city, but it’s a giant amusement park. And you are not taking advantage of it. So, my friend…»

«Yeah?»

«I’ll rescue you. Again.»

[sweeter-innocence-fics]

You Brought Your Worst and I’m Right Here - Chapter Four: Was it just a summer fling?

Pairing: Gale of Waterdeep x female Tav

Work Summary:

After an explosive falling out between Gale and his academic adviser, Mystra, Tav is left to pick up the pieces.

Modern/College AU.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Epilogue

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1699

Read on AO3.

Masterlists.

Taglist: @mrs-kai-anderson @ang3l1te @missryerye

Taglist info

Previous Chapter

Notes: all the usual warnings, plus arguing/shouting and general mental health stuff

---

A year ago

The chessboard was set. It was a Saturday night in the winter of their third year, all of their friends were out celebrating the end of exams, and Tav and Gale were sitting across from each other, chessboard between them.

Tav hadn’t much liked chess before she met Gale. Even still, he usually won, because she didn’t have the patience to think through every move as carefully as she knew she should.

But she liked playing with Gale. His eyebrows drew together in concentration, and when the games were close, she catch a glimpse of his tongue poking out from between his teeth. It was precious.

She took a sip of her hot chocolate, eyes intent on his face. He didn’t notice. He was far too focused on the game.

They had a longstanding “loser pays for dinner” agreement, but Tav wasn’t worried. Gale never made her pay more than her fair share, even when he should. She knew he came from a pretty well-off family, so it was no skin off his back.

Decisively, he moved a bishop, taking one of her knights. She watched his fingers wrap around the elegantly carved little wooden horse and put it to the side. Her eyes followed the movement of his hands as he wove his fingers together, resting his elbows on the table.

He had strong, dextrous hands. Not for the first time, Tav wondered what it would feel like to interlace her fingers with his.

He cleared his throat, and her eyes darted to his, startled, like she’d been caught. There was an amused expression on his face.

“Your move,” he said, gesturing at the board.

“I know,” she said, voice coming out a little strained. “I’m just… contemplating my options.”

“Of course. By all means.” He sat back in his chair, that smug little smile on his face. If he were anyone else, she would probably want to punch him, but somehow Gale managed to make smug look charming.

She stared back at the board. Her stomach grumbled.

“Hungry?” he said. “We can order now, if you-”

“No, I’m fine.” She was starting to realise that perhaps chess was a bad idea. Her last exam of the semester had been yesterday, and her brain was very tired. Perhaps that explained why she was feeling more impatient than usual.

She took her move, fully aware that there were surely better moves that she hadn’t even considered. Sure enough, in two more turns, Gale was check-mating her. He didn’t even take a moment to bask in his victory like he usually did.

“Now can we order food? I’m famished,” he said. He was grinning at her in a way that made her empty stomach do a little flip.

“Fine. But after dinner, we’re playing Settlers of Catan.” Now that was a game that Tav had a better shot of winning.

“Fine by me.”

*

Now

Tav heard Gale’s voice before she saw him. Her heart leapt into her throat at the sound of the front door closing. He was home.

She strode over to her bedroom door, and then hesitated. Would he even want to see her, after she’d avoided coming to visit? Did she even want to see him?

Distantly, she heard Wyll saying something, and then a laugh. That was good. At least he didn’t sound miserable.

Her hand was resting on the doorknob. Her other hand went to her pocket, pulling out her phone. There were no new messages, but maybe she should check her emails? She scanned through her messaging apps, and the next thing she knew, she was scrolling through twitter.

She perched on her desk chair. She wasn’t fully sitting down; she would get up and go downstairs in a moment. Just as soon as she’d finished reading this thread.

When the knock came at her door, startling her, she realised that it was getting dark in her room. Her lips curled into a frown as she got to her feet and switched the light on. Before she could talk herself out of it, she opened the door.

Gale was standing in the hallway outside of her room. When their eyes met, he smiled at her uneasily. All of the things that Tav should’ve, could’ve, still could say rushed through her mind in a torrent that made it hard to catch hold of any one string of words.

“I love you” and “I’m sorry” and “you scared the ever-loving shit out of me” availed themselves of her, but all felt too crass or too honest. She had to protect her heart, because no one else would.

“Hey,” said Gale. “Tav. It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too,” she said stiffly. “I’m glad you’re…” Alive. “… okay.”

“Yeah.” There was a pause. Tav was finding that her eyes were happy to settle anywhere but on his face. She fixed her gaze on a painting hanging on the wall behind him. “How are you?”

“Oh, you know. I’m okay. Been busy, you know?” She braced herself. “Sorry I couldn’t come and see you in the hospital. It was… all a bit hectic, with coursework, and stuff, you know?”

Gale swallowed. “Of course. It’s fine. You don’t need to apologise.”

They were both lying, and they both knew it.

“Are you coming down for dinner?” he asked. “Karlach and Lae’zel are both coming over to celebrate my release.”

“Of course. I’ll be down in a minute.”

For the first time, Gale smiled. “I’ll see you downstairs.”

*

It had been four days since Gale had come home, and Tav hadn’t been alone with him since the first evening when he’d come and knocked on her door. She would disappear up to her room as soon as she got home from classes, emerge at mealtimes (Wyll was pretty insistent that they all try to eat dinner together, where possible) and then go back to her room.

Every so often, she could feel Gale’s eyes on her during dinner, but she staunchly avoided his gaze.

And it wasn’t that she wasn’t trying. Sometimes, she would make a concerted effort to make conversation with him, but every word felt stilted and forced.

It didn’t help that she was sleep deprived. She slept fitfully, plagued by nightmares of Gale’s limp body and vomit-stained sheets. It was all she could see whenever she closed her eyes.

She was alone in the kitchen when he cornered her. Her heart plummeted as he walked into the room.

“Tav. Hey,” he said, looking nervous.

“Afternoon,” she said, opening the fridge, just so that she would have somewhere to look.

“Can we talk?”

It took every ounce of her self-control not to visibly blanche. “Sure.” She still wasn’t looking at him.

“Are we… okay? It feels like things have been… weird between us.”

Tav watched as the fridge door gave a little shudder. She couldn’t make sense of what she was seeing, until her eyes traced a path to her trembling hand that was curled, vice-like around the handle of the fridge door. She laughed – wet, throaty – at the absurdity of it, blinking back tears.

“Are we okay?” she repeated, stifling another hysterical laugh. She released the door, letting it fall shut. “Of course we’re not okay, Gale. You tried to kill yourself.”

She turned to look at him, then. His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open as if he was about to say something, but no words came.

“I thought I’d lost you.” Her shaking hands came up to her face to rub away at the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. “I found you, did you know that? I found your unconscious body and I was scared that you were already dead. I thought I was going to live the rest of my life with you on my conscience because I couldn’t save you.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said, so softly that she almost missed it.

“I know that,” she snapped back at him, taken aback by the harshness of her own voice. “And all I could wonder is why you never talked to me. Why you never told me what was going on with you. Why you wouldn’t let me help you. You spent months pushing me away and leaving me to worry what I’d done wrong. And now you wonder why I can barely look at you?” She was almost shouting now. Her voice felt wrong to her own ears. Still, Gale was just staring at her. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

“It hurt, Gale,” she said, much quieter now. “You hurt me and scared me and I don’t know how to forgive you, and I feel guilty because I know how hard this must be for you, but that doesn’t make me any less angry.”

“Is everything okay?” Wyll’s voice from the doorway made her jump. He stepped into the kitchen, looking from Gale to Tav and back, concern in his eyes. Astarion followed behind him, although his eyes stayed fixed on Tav.

She swallowed. She looked at Gale. He looked devastated, staring back at her with his big brown puppy dog eyes.

“Tav,” he said, and that made her hackles rise again. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

His apologies hit her like a blow to the chest. He was the one who needed help right now. What was she doing shouting at him and making him feel worse about himself? The last thing he needed was for someone to push him back towards the edge.

A sob shuddered through her and she stepped backwards, her back hitting the fridge. Gale reached for her but she shook her head, and he drew back.

“I don’t want you to apologise,” she said. Her voice sounded high and weak. “I just want you to be okay.”

She couldn’t look at any of them as she walked past them. Her feet carried her back to her bedroom, where she drew the deadbolt across and shut the curtains. In the dark, she stripped off her bra and jeans, leaving her in just a t-shirt and underwear, and then crawled into bed.

Next Chapter

[mokacheer]

hahaha thanks for the mass tag game @ruanbaijie this shall be fun!

aka: nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? - no idea, my theories are that i was obsessed with rosario + vampire so i took moka, and since moka is cheery/happy i just bam. i honestly don't know 💀

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. - i used to have a ton because younger me dabbled in the RP world (lets not remember those times but remember the cool people i befriended) but right now no just this blog and the other blog i help run <3 @otomokatsuhiro (if you love old anime youll immediately follow ;) )

3. how long have you been on tumblr? - since may 2012 😵 (save me)

4. do you have a queue tag? - nah

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? - an old friend of mine told me about it and actually made this blog for me. now thinking about it idk if it was her that came up with the name, if i had a different name to begin with... no clue :s

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? - its yuki!!! must i explain why?! (plus it matches my vibe here alot of mutuals say im super sweet or a ray of sunshine ((ily it makes me happy everytime i get that hehe)))

7. why did you choose your header? - it just matches the overall pink cute vibe :p

8. what’s your post with the most notes? - still to this day its a 29 frame gif of a phone ending call... here

9. how many mutuals do you have? - i counted at the beginning of the year and i believe i had 108? but now obviously its 108+ :D

10. how many followers do you have? - 17.2k+ x-x

11. how many people do you follow? - 544! i remember at one point i wanted to keep the number limited but thats so stupid!!

12. have you ever made a shitpost? - uhhhh probably when i was younger. i used to constantly post #personal text posts so idunno

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? - help me

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? - yeah a small amount of times, most would be reposters telling me "no this is my gif i made this! i wont remove this from my blog!" with my watermark clear as day in the corner lol..

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts - meh it's your blog at the end of the day, if you want to reblog something do it, if you dont dont. it's sad to see most people just like posts but they come from different platforms and fail to realize what kind of site tumblr is. hopefully eventually they will get it tho! amen

16. do you like tag games? - yes! i love that i get tagged in them but also forget alot of the time to ever get to doing them so i apologize for being late on this one hehe

17. do you like ask games? - plsssss i love seeing that notification light up in my inbox. it fills this bloggers heart with joy.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? - oh i got a few @gojosattoru (where have you been ;w; </3), @hanae-ichihara (ill always miss you <3), DEFINITELY @taohs hehehe

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? - nope, having a crush on here has never happened for me :p

20. what is the last song you listened to? - charli xcx speed drive EASYFUN remix, its sooo gud

21. what are you currently watching? - the magical girl and evil lieun. are archenemies, fairy tail 100 years quest, maybe some other misc. stuff i cant think of rn.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? - all of the above, i love sweet + spicy

23. what is your current relationship status? - single times *salute emoji*

24. what is your current obsession? - SMILING FRIENDDDSSSS asjdiaoshjdajsid

25. what are nine albums/songs you've been listening to lately? - aprils-bloom by julie areyouhome? by juno britpop by A.G. Cook right back by Frost children i like it by Frost children spring is coming with a strawberry in the mouth by Caroline Polachek magic sword by 4s4ki tome by veltpunch 365 by charli xcx

tagging: @taohs @cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga @oneechangoddess @yuujies @scary-friend @fuwanek0 and others that wanna have fun

[cescalr]

New tag game: list ten of your childhood ships!

tagged by @babybeale <3... forever ago. Uh. Whoops!

[I will also state my current feelings regarding the ship, and I'll go into as little or as much detail as I feel like <3 I'm also. I have a sieve brain. I'm trying to remember what the fuck it was I shipped as a kid lmao. Anything I shipped, say, pre 2016, I think should count? ftr that means I was 14 or under when I shipped it.]

Nina/Fabian, from House of Anubis;

They're still cute. Better than what they pulled in the last season ;-; fabian and mara...... why...........

2. Sam and Freddie, from iCarly;

This show was just. Not good at writing romance. At all. It was bad at it. But I am very smart and know better than them (/joke) so I could do seddie justice. Er. Maybe trying to do that right now, actually. Shh.

[also, friend; jade and beck is so complicated, you're right. A fun mess, but still a mess lmao. Me and my rarepairs was always a fan of stuff that never ended up being canon though. Might as well put it next, I guess? Looking at your 3.... when it comes to icarly; we could not possibly have had more different opinions on the matter <3 lmao]

3. Tori Vega / André Harris;

I haven't watched it in years so I do not remember why! But I do remember that I did. I think. Don't - don't quote me on anything ever.

4. Willoz - from buffy the vampire slayer;

No gifs for them :( :( :( love them still so very much <3

5. Honestly, I'd steal your number 5 bestie, 6Teen was great. In the spirit of obscure animated TV shows, though - and It's been so damn long I forgot the names of some characters, had to look up the guy's name, lol - Zero and Vin from The Invisible Network of Kids. It left a profound impact on my psyche because they did something really fucked up in the last episode, plus left us on a cliffhanger, and then the show got cancelled </3 rip. Haven't watched it in a decade or so. No idea if it holds up, but I was super invested in these kids doing spy work and experiencing insane levels of trauma that would be ignored come each new episode </3. I was literally 8 years old <3. It has a TV tropes page and the entire show is availible on the Internet Archive, of all places, sooooooo I may browse. For nostalgia's sake. There are literally zero gifs available for this one, because. I mean. No shit.

7. Didn't watch any of that continuity - only got so far as Tracey Beaker Returns... alas. Anyway, my pic for 7..... hm. Sigh.

Stiles/Lydia, Teen Wolf.

This ^ is NOT romantic! she slams her mouth onto his in the middle of a panic attack. Babe. No. No. Regardless; I don't like it </3. They really. Oh god they really fucked up this one. Like a lot. Plus, they both just ended up with much better canon ships (stalia, marrish) that then got shafted for this mess to be the endgame and then the movie breaks them up anyway!!! OFFSCREEN!!!! they didn't even last 2 weeks!!!! fuck!!!!!!!! I don't like them. But I used to. Playlist, for proof. I feel like this counts, because I shipped them when I first watched the show as it aired (I was 10 when the show started), but I did still ship the pairing until well into my teens (16 or so) before I wised up (the show made them very bad in a really boring way. Not that they weren't bad before. Love how they both do things that are otherwise reprehensible but the show frames them as romantic for some fucking reason </3 I was like 13 when I saw this kiss on screen. They're lucky I did research and didn't just take it at face value or I could've gotten some really bad ideas about what's healthy in a situation like this!).

8. Zikki (Zane/Rikki), H20: Just Add Water;

Season 3 does not exist <3 [also, the way they wrote the 'cheating' plotline was fucked up. That woman planted one on him!!! he did not consent!!! Why are we supposed to be blaming him for being sexually harassed in the workplace!!! No!!!]. Still ship them fr fr.

8. maf;lkasjd;f yeahhh. Think if you watched friends as a kid, it was inevitable you'd ship rosschel, the damn thing was pushed so hard. Stand in regretful solidarity;

For really obvious reasons (being that it is rosschel); hot damn no I do not!

9. Harry and Ginny, Harry Potter.

Ignoring the horrendous movie adaptation, when I read the hp books I basically just defaulted to shipping whatever was canon. Luckily for me, the canon hp ships are actually pretty good ones! If you ignore the canaries in the room. (I. Do not. Famously. Well. Infamously.) As for Hinny, whilst its a garbage ship name, the pairing itself is pretty great <3

10. kaljdflkasdt thank god I don't remember jack shit about watching glee for the first time! the sieve brain is a blessing in this one occasion. I've already mentioned in another (tagged <3) post my vaguely-relevant hsm ships, though, so..... hmm. What should I pick.... let's think.... I'm kidding. I don't need to think.

Shoker is a major missed opportunity in ME, and I've been mad about the choices for my fem!shep for YEARS because. Look. Kaiden she did not cheat on you. You left!! You accused her of being evil and fucked off after she was resurrected!! what else was she supposed to think other than 'guess he doesn't want to date me anymore. Rude.' And. You could have sex with Jack but not romance her, that was locked to male characters >:| biphobia [Jack can have sexual relations with women, but her only real connections are to men. Rude!]. And, Liara in my games always turned herself down for romance because she assumed my shep wanted to date Kaiden because she's not a total dick to him and there's no way for me to clarify otherwise, also people making assumptions :/ not great. Plus Li becomes the shadow broker and it's a whole thing, so that doesn't really work out narratively for me anyway. Can't romance Miranda. Can't romance Tali (wouldn't anyway - Tali/Garrus <3). Refuse to romance Garrus that is just so platonic a dynamic it's not even funny. Jacob cheats and dips, so fuck him. Like... all of the fem!shep romances are terrible (or Trainor, I guess, but she's... kind of. Nobody. She's Just There. Sorry. It's not narratively interesting enough for me.) and Joker was right there and augh. Augh! Still ship. Still mad about it. Hatboy Project is doing the lord's work! I salute thee soldier in thine endeavours. Waiting to replay LE until it's been finished <3.

<3

If anyone wants to pick this up, go for it!

[thehomebodydiaries]

homebody diaries .002.

the amount of reading that i’ve been doing lately makes me think of when i first discovered booktube: i learned about all these popular books and i was broke for like a consistent year because i wouldn’t stop buying books, but i only made like $9/hr. even now, with a full-time job that pays me almost twice that much, i still don’t know why that worked out for me. it definitely should not have.

anyway, yesterday was “free comic book day” and a local comic store gave me a bag of like sixteen free comics, and then i turned around and spent $80 on more comics. it also reminded me that i had two comics in my favorite series that i haven’t read yet. so i’ve got volumes 10 and 11 of “saga,” and yesterday i purchased the first volumes of “deadly class” and “something is killing the children,” as well as junji ito’s manga interpretation of mary shelley’s “frankenstein,” and then “old man logan,” which is about an elderly wolverine (whose healing capabilities are faltering) who gets picked up by an old hawkeye. it’s what inspired the movie logan, which is objectively speaking the only good x-men movie (do not come for me, i watched those movies for the first time in release date order like last month ago, and i am lowkey way more into the x-men than i am the rest of the marvel heroes, save for like agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.). i also received a package in the mail containing the fifth book in one of my favorite series: the witchlands series by susan dennard. oh my god, and i started the wayward children series by seanan mcguire and it’s so good. and i’m waiting on two more books in the mail, both for my bookclub.

i am so content with it too. i am doing it because i love reading and it brings me joy. plus, who doesn’t love some easy escapism? same reason i love video games.

speaking of which, i gotta start a farm with some friends. there have been so many updates and i haven’t played the pc version of it in so long. maybe i’ll convince a few of them to let me stream it. that, and palworld. i’m just not sure when i should start streaming; it feels like i have so much left to do, but it also feels like i’m not doing anything at all. so i might have to try streaming for 3-4 hours on my days off, with or without friends. my problem when it comes to streaming is that i’m my own boss, so not following through with a schedule doesn’t really have any consequences. but i really gotta get that started, otherwise i feel like i’ll never get around to it. it certainly would be nice to eventually make some extra money off of it. thought i wanted to be a val streamer, but i shockingly haven’t even really touched the game since i moved into my new place.

izzy and i watched four movies in a day on friday: mr. and mrs. smith, bullet train, baby driver, and everything everywhere all at once. all of them were so good, although everything everywhere all at once was… interesting. like the whole overall message of it is great and everything, like we love old traditional parents learning how to accept the things they can’t control about their child, but like… the buttplugs. wow. what a scene. (and that is all i’ll say on that; if you know, you know.)

i’m working on a linktr.ee with all my currently active and soon-to-be active accounts, which includes tumblr, discord, snapchat, and twitch. i was thinking about making a patreon, but i feel like i should gather an audience before i attempt managing another account. i already hate social media as it is which is why i only have what i have… we’ll see where it goes.

anyway, it was a solid weekend. i’m still tired, but i did drink quite a bit at a party last night and now i’ve got five days of work ahead of me, and my coworkers alone make that exhausting. but i’ve got lots of reading and writing to do to keep myself relaxed in between moments of masking (totally gonna be the name of my autobiography), especially once the new bookclub pick arrives. i’ll try not to be too miserable by tuesday.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas! Swiftie anon here! I’ve been kind of having a shit week, in general. A few days ago my throat started hurting, and my nose started crying, so that’s been fun, and school feels like it’s taking fucking forever every day. last night, my sister was talking, and I asked my brother to get a coaster for me, since I was holding a hot bowl, and he was standing in front of the drawer, but my sister was talking, so I wanted until she was done to ask again.

my sister is great btw. I’d never say that to her face, but she’s my younger sister, and she’s always been so…happy, and I want it to say that way, she started middle school this year, and I was scared she’d go through the same things I did, and idk that freaked me out. She’s annoying as hell, but I want her to say happy, as long as she can be, so I haven’t been like putting pressure on her, or getting as mad at her as I did when we were younger. And like we’re only a year and a half apart, but ever since I got depressed I feel a lot older, which is sad because we were so close when we were younger. People used to think we were twins, and I miss being that close to someone, trusting someone that much, whispering things under the blankets, and playing games only the two of us know.

anyway, I asked after she was done talking, which was just few seconds, and I got the coaster, and set it down, and then my mom said, you need to talk louder, you’re mumbling again. and l got probably unreasonably angry when she said that, because I’ve always been quiet, when we were younger, my sister talked for the two of us, I hate talking and I’ve never been very loud. And maybe I like being quiet, not only because it’s in my nature, but you always yelled at us for being too loud and interrupting people, and maybe I’m scared to make you angry? Maybe I remember that shit? Maybe I don’t like being noticed because you always get pissed at my older brother, and that’s the only way I ever see you talk to him?

and then that night (after dinner we all go watch tv, play games separately, go to my parents room, pray and then sleep) she got mad at us saying, we’re not a community, we’re just people living together the three (me and my siblings) of you are cocooned in your rooms all the fucking time. You’re on your fucking phones all the damn time, melting your brains, you could be doing better things with your time. And why the hell wouldn’t I want to be in my room instead of with my parents, they stress me the fuck out, and make me feel like I’ve already ruined my chances at everything, and maybe that’s why I need to escape, because they made me believe everything fucking sucked.

and I know being on your phone and sitting down for like 4-5 hour periods isn’t healthy, but that’s a habit I’ll deal with after all the other issues they’ve caused me. I had a bit of a breakdown after that, my arms got red and puffy from my nails, but I didn’t bleed this time so…is that a plus?

I got my at my sister last weekend bc she like, dropped my instrument and didn’t pick he up and I almost smacked her, and my dad saw me like, about to, but I stopped, and got so mad at me? He said, and I quote, “apologize, how would you feel if I got you and ten years later I never said sorry?” and then I was like wtf are you talking about, you hit me when I was in like preschool (10 years ago) and never apologized. I vaguely remember him hitting me, like before kindergarten, I somehow forgot that he did until that moment. I know he and my mom got into fights about it (bc calling us stupid and staying is so much better).

and then this morning we woke up late, and my dad said “you’ll end up all alone bc no one wants anyone who never shows up on time.” And my mom started fucking monologuing about how we’re “wasting our intelligence” and we should on things better, and I started fucking bawling, bc I went to preschool far from home, so when I started going to elementary, I didn’t have any friends, and I had like, a singular friend, I made and she moved at the end of first grade, and so on and so forth until 3rd grade when the pandemic happened, so like ending up alone has always been a fear of mine, and they know this, bc back when I trusted them I literally asked them why do all my friends move away? and school has fucking sucked, pe isn’t so bad, we’re fishing in a lake across the street and I caught one today and almost killed it bc it swallowed the hook, and everything else, besides like my friends has been miserable. I had a dentist appointment today (I have them all the damn time), and they numbed the right side of my face, 3 injections, they’re so sore, and I still can’t feel the lower right part of my mouth, so that’s fun. Sorry for the rant, hope you’re having a better week than me cas! Have a good day/night

Hi hon! <3

It sounds like you're dealing with a LOT of negativity right now, especially at home, and that absolutely sucks. Are there ways you can find some positivity on your own? Things that make you happy even when others are being shitty?

I'm so proud of you for dealing with life even when it's hard <3 You're doing so great, truly! <3

[fatalfangirl]

15 Questions | 15 People

Rules: Answer these 15 Questions, then Tag 15 People 

Thank you @facewithoutheart, @cutestkilla, @larkral, @technetiumai, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @shrekgogurt, @artsyunderstudy, @aristocratic-otter, and @theearlgreymage for the tags 💕

1. Are you named after anyone? 

Only my middle name, which I shared with my dad until I lost it in a rushed, lunch-hour courthouse wedding ceremony.

2. When was the last time you cried? 

I teared up several times recently over fandom things I read/listened to and while watching Derry Girls, but the last time I full on cried I can't recall... the only thing that jumps to mind is when I was overwhelmed on a trip last month.

3. Do you have kids? 

No.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 

Not at all. I actively avoid it.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? 

Their general attitude and energy level. Physically, it's typically what they're wearing.

6. What’s your eye color? 

Blue.

7. Scary movies or happy ending? 

If I am watching a movie (which is a rare thing on it's own), it will not be anything even remotely scary. I get nightmares over the stupidest shit.

8. Any special talents? 

Related to the above nightmares point, I can wake myself from dreams pretty easily. I can write a solid creative brief. I am decent at public speaking.

9. Where were you born? 

New York (and not the cool part)

10. What are your hobbies? 

Writing, complaining about writing, playing video games (which is really only Genshin Impact at this point), hiking, consuming copious amounts of BL web comics, reading (manga), watching tv (anime).

11. Do you have any pets? 

Yes. A 15 year old tuxedo cat who is lazy and lovely and wants stomach rubs all the time.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

Soccer (mostly outdoor, but I played indoor on and off too) until I got too injured. Growing up I also did track and field - 100m hurdles, 4x100, triple jump. Closest I am to sports these days is hiking and running. I like going to all types of games though, I grew up in a very sports forward home.

13. How tall are you?

5'7"

14. Favorite subject at school?

I was never very fond of classes at school in general. I powered through college a year early so I could just be done 😅. Maybe math in high school because it was straightforward. Do the thing, get the result. But I went to school for writing because I had this dream of being a tortured artist or something. I always imagined myself as this cool, detached writer wearing a beret. (I did end up in a writing field and I did happen to wear a beret today but I am not even remotely detached. I am decidedly too attached.)

15. Dream job? 

Not working 😂 I took a year off from working for reasons and I did not get bored. I filled my days, I was happy, it was lovely. But if I have to work, I think doing what I am now is sort of the dream. I work in an industry I'm personally passionate about. What I do brings people joy. I am comfortable and experienced enough that I'm able to dodge imposter syndrome. Plus, I can turn it off when the day is done. What more could you want?

Alright tagging folks who I apology to if you've already done this. @moodandmist, @bookish-bogwitch, @martsonmars, @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @palimpsessed, @stardustasincocaine, @mostlymaudlin, @captain-aralias, @skeedelvee, and @raenestee.

[xpiester333x]

And finally, to complete my yearly game posts, here's what I plan on playing in the year 2024:

1. Assemble With Care - a short little game I should be able to knock out in a few hours but I picked it up in a bundle and I have wanted to play it so I will try to knock it out this year.

2. I'm more than half way done with Baldur's Gate 3 but I likely will be playing it through January. I hope to finish it at least once before P3R.

3. Bloodborne - help.

4. Borderlands 2 - since I had such a blast playing Borderlands with my boyfriend this year, I'm looking forward to giving this game a second chance and hopefully enjoying it much more.

5. Borderlands 3 - a little less hopeful for this one, since I haven't heard much good about it, but might as well knock out the main franchise.

6. Boyfriend Dungeon - I just got this for Christmas and I'm excited for the concept of romancing my weapons :)

7. I'm also more than halfway through Catherine, so I also intend to finish that in the coming month.

8. Cat Museum - something cute and short I picked up on mega sale and want to make an effort to play this year.

9. The Coffin of Andy and Leyley - I actually have no idea what this game is about or if I'll like it but it was a gift so dammit I'll play it.

10. Dragon's Dogma 2 - Dragon's Dogma is easily in my top 10 games of all time, and I am SO hype for this game. The only downside is it's coming in March, and the first quarter of 2024 is pretty PACKED with games for me.

11. Etrian Odyssey - because I never finished it when I owned it on DS but I'm in my Atlus Games era rn so

12. Far: Lone Sails - I was drawn to this game for the art and it seems like a quick little experience of a game.

13. Final Fantasy 16 DLC - blanketing over the currently available DLC and the up and coming DLC.

14. Hades - a carry over from 2023's list but THIS WILL BE THE YEAR (maybe)

15. Haven - I don't think (?) this game is very long but it looks very heartwarming so I'm here for it this year.

16. Little Nightmares 2 - another fairly short game that I have no reason not to play, especially when I'm obsessed with the first one.

17. Little Nightmares 3 - I don't know what the release date is yet but like Borderlands let's try to close out a franchise!

18. Metaphor: ReFantazio - it doesn't even have a release date and I'm already excited about it.

21. Nier Automata - another carry over from 2023, but I have a good feeling about it this year.

19. NEO: The World Ends With You - I hear only good things about this game but I will be walking into it 98% blind.

20. Nightingale - Idk how much I'll actually play this game but my friend and I have been watching its development for years and we are READY

22. Nier Replicant - I watched a friend play some of this and it looked fun, and since I saw it was free on PS plus... why not.

23. Octopath Traveler - this is to feed my JRPG addiction but break up some of my Atlus obsession

24. Opus: Echo of Starsong - This was a gift like 2 years ago and I really want to play it through this year.

25. Persona 3 Reload - I ALREADY TOOK VACATION FOR IT IM SO READY 38 MORE DAYS

26. Persona 4 Arena - Because I think it's the only readily available Persona game I haven't played yet.

27. Sea of Stars - I'm more than half through this too, I stopped playing it to play Tactica so I'll be finishing this soon as well.

28. Shin Megami Tensei 3: Nocturne - I put a fair amount of time into it this year, and I adore this game. I'm finishing it next year.

29. Shin Megami Tensei 5 - for real this year, I promise (🤞)

31. Undertale - why have I not played this? Why did it sit on my list last year untouched? Why did I install it and never play it? The world may never know.

30. Soul Hackers 2 - because again, I'm in my Atlus Games era and I bought it this year so time to play it.

32. Untitled Goose Game - for casual hijinks

I'm even more ambitious this year than last year and thats without knowing even half of whats to be released in 2024 sooo wish me luck.

[rivalsforlife]

persona 4 golden playthrough update:

- I have found the True Killer At Last. was like “I’m not going to use a guide for everything” but I sure did use a guide for this. and I’m glad I did because no way would I have gotten through that Questions Gauntlet without it

- I forgot literally everything namatame did sorry dude. also a little disappointed we didn’t get to see nanako’s shadow though I get why she didn’t have one. want this little girl to be a little bit more upset about things she should be upset about sometimes

- ANYWAYS I maxed out every party member’s social link except for rise (and of course teddie but that doesn’t count). I want to max out rise as soon as possible since she’s also probably got the best navigator skills, but I still want to do a friendship only game and I don’t want to make her sad :( I will have to romance someone eventually on ng+ to get some Achievements, might pick rise so I don’t have to make her sad twice?

- turns out I was missing out on a lot of social links I forgot you have to like. talk to people. and stuff. so I’m probably going to have to do a ng+ to figure out what those people are up to. plus I missed out on a lot just not taking jobs? I took on the hospital janitor job just to get courage up (to talk to naoto) and was NOT fond about how that particular social link started.

- so it’s funny the only other social link I maxed outside party members (and the dojimas and marie) was uhhh kou ichijo who I spent time with because he shares a last name with kay. so then when they had the “remember all your friends!” it was like one guy. which was kinda funny

- also managed to max all stats which is nice

- still was only at like rank 2 at adachi because he said something that made me go :/ and then he was so low on my priority list after that I completely missed out on the rest of his social link. so that’s also a thing I want to do in a ng+ since he’s uh. a significant character.

- looked up the bad endings and accomplice ending is FUN even though I still don’t give a shit about adachi yet. because like I forgot what his whole deal was except it had something to do with being a misogynist? I know people compare him to akechi who I really like but I’m not feeling anything for him yet. like I said I don’t remember a lot of the details of this part of the game so if there was something cool I forgot. well.

- as for characters I DO like: naoto my best friend naoto!! I’m not inherently against “woman feels the need to present as male because of some societal pressures but then grows to accept femininity” or whatever, like I’ve been there, but something about the way they go about this just leaves a sour taste in my mouth? like going “I wish I was born male :( well nothing I can do about it guess I’ll have to learn to accept being a woman” isn’t really. encouraging? kind of like with kanji’s “guys can have “feminine” traits without being gay” like. that’s true! but also! in the way you’ve presented this story I think he’s just gay! 

- think it would be extremely funny if naoto goes like “that’s it... I’ll have to accept being a woman. I’ll have to learn to work through my internalized misogyny and assert myself as a successful female detective” and does that and then five years later is like “wait. I might actually be trans.”

- while we’re on this depressing note, absolutely everything with the school festival beauty pageants was horrific to sit through. aside from the sheer relief I felt when naoto just refused to participate in the swimsuit part

- I did max out dojima and nanako social links just before nanako got kidnapped so it was hard to watch. dojima finally won me over and was a decent father and then all this happens. which I think is how we’re supposed to play the game anyway

- ??? idk what else. maybe I will be able to finish this game soon and maybe p5r will come in some day. what even IS in the winter months I don’t remember a single thing about marie

[theyilinglaozus]

Link your top 5 sets and tag 5 others creators to do the same

Thank you to the incredibly lovely @baek1nho for the tag! 💖 It was so fun to see what sets you chose, especially as they’re all so very beautiful!

I’m going to follow your lead and keep this to work made within the last year only; so no sets pre 2022 will be showcased here. Think of this tag game as a chance for to talk a little bit about my favourites as an end of the year round up. I've made more gifsets than I thought throughout the year, but still far less than what I have in past recent years.

1 - Mei Changsu and Mu Nihuang; Nirvana in Fire

One of my goals for the new year was to work on changing up my colouring style and experimenting a bit more, and I had a lot of fun doing that in some Nirvana in Fire sets. This was one of my firsts for the show as well as my favourite; as I really liked how the colours were brightened a little bit more compared to the scene itself. It’s one of my more subtle sets when it comes to colours, but it worked out well, I feel. Plus, I just really adore this pairing and this scene between them in the show.

2. One year with Word of Honor celebration set; Word of Honor

Easily the largest set I worked on this year, but also the one I wanted to make sure to dedicate a good amount of time to given how Word of Honor is joint to be one of my favourite dramas. I wanted to celebrate the incredible characters and the strong theme of family carried between them all. The idea to make the characters that leave us greyscale came later, and I know a lot of the notes on the set have people yelling! But, I felt it was important to note how some of these characters’ stories were severed too soon, and how they still left an impact on the lives of those surviving.

My friends over at the Immortal Wanderers discord were incredibly kind and helpful while I was making this, as they would put up with me sharing little gifs and asking questions on ‘should I include this character for this theme, or no?’, especially given Tumblr’s restrictions.

3. Xie Yun and Wen Kexing parallels; Word of Honor & Legend of Fei

I love parallels across media! Especially when it comes to media created from the mind of the same author!

I had so much fun making this, especially since at the time I was watching Legend of Fei, I’d really grown to love Xie Yun’s character. He was so fun and interesting to watch on screen, and Yibo truly brought him to life. It makes me a little sad that I haven’t made nearly as much content for Legend of Fei than what I should, so maybe that’s something I should fix.

But it was such a fun little thing to see how the two characters carried moments in each respective shows that mirrored the other - not through their actions as such, but just through the words they shared to their significant others. It really highlighted some of the tropes that I see Priest carry in her works, and I wanted to create a set that shared them since I hadn’t actually seen that around at the time. I’ll need to get the Guardian at some point and see if I can ever expand on this trend - maybe that’s a goal for next year?

4. Hei Fengxi and Bai Fengxi; Who Rules the World

This set gave me hell. I was constantly struggling with the question ‘did I really download this episode in 1080p, or was I lied to?’ I had to delete the first attempt and come away from photoshop for a day, but when I returned the next day refreshed and ready to start again, I was very happy with the outcome!

My favourite thing about this set is the golden colours. I struggle so much with finding the right balance with that colour sometimes, so when this worked out as well as it did - I felt really proud? When I look back on it now I still smile at the golds, since I think they came out really well!

5. Little Orchid and Dongfang Qingcang Kate Bush set; Love Between Fairy and Devil

My most recent set - and probably the only one this year where I played with any kinds of effects for scenes. I really love how this came out, especially how colourful it was. The typography is something I’m really proud of aswell, as sometimes that can be a bit of a struggle to get right.

Tagging;

@minnarr, @gusucloud, @xiaolanhua, @yesdramas and @bimorgana.

Feel free to ignore if you don’t wish to take part / have already done so! And if you’d like to take part but weren’t tagged, feel free to join in with the fun anyway!

[coffeecupandcorgi]

on repeat

i'm not great at doing tag games ahhh, but @dirigibleplumbing tagged me, so i'll give this a go -

Rules: shuffle yr "on repeat" playlist from spotify or etc. and post the first 10 tracks.

Manilla Road, "Necropolis" - the Seek & Destroy DJ Tanner must really dig this one because I've head him play it a few times now. K says the vocals sound like a sports announcer calling the Kentucky Derby lolol BUT i think they're cool. i mean, c'mon, they're absolutely giving severian in nessus in gene wolfe's shadow of the torturer-

Entombed in time without decay Never thought it would be like this It feels like I'm living inside a dream But my mind tells me I'm Lost in Necropolis, lost in Necropolis

-but also giving that couple making out in the pit of skulls, lost in an endless cemetery going slowly insane in the iron rose (1973)?? plus this album is from '83 & i feel like eddie munson definitely liked it.

2. Dio, "Holy Diver" - yeah, classic, guess this one is pretty self-explanatory... I did just read what's currently my all time fav ST fic, this time loop fic star of the masquerade by glorious_spoon, and eddie's fav track there is holy diver.

3. Steely & Clevie, Righteous Flames, "I Was Born To Be Loved" - idk I just freaking love this dancehall track from 92, heard it on the radio a while back and put it on my 'seattle wip' playlist, which I was listening to while noodling around with a post-u mich kj/owen story that alas has not materialized beyond a set up and a few scenes. it's always gonna be a kj and owen mood for me. :')

4. Kate Bush, "Running Up That Hill" - for a while in college @dirigibleplumbing played "wuthering heights" like everyday BUT somehow i never heard/took in "running up that hill" until i started watching Pose last year - when it plays at the end of the pilot !!! while that man is picking up angel !!! I just !!!! stay away from her, get a job !!!! anyway, also, max gender, is there a more gender-y song?

5. Afsky, "Tyende Sang" - more metal. first track i heard on Seek & Destroy that gave me a fanfiction oh. moment. like, we are no longer just doing fic research, we go here now.

6. HAAi, "Baby, We're Ascending" - this song is fine/fun, i threw it on a recent playlist so i'm hearing it a lot, but i loved loved loved HAAi's recent Resident Advisor mix & listened to it a bunch. tried to put it on during a philly wedding afterparty last spring but then it was TOO LOUD and we had to leave to the hotel. :(

7. Built to Spill, "Car" - I think this is my favorite track from their early 90s album There's Nothing Wrong With Love, an all time album which i also loved as a teen. good to sing along to.

I want specifics on the general idea I want to think what I should know Want you to do me what you show

gotta just absolutely belt it out. those lyrics are all caps in my head.

8. Sevana, "Lowe Mi" - this has been playing all the time on KEXP's saturday morning reggae show. it's super catchy.

9. Leonard Cohen, "The Partisan" - as previously discussed i love a good time loop story - it's maybe one of my favorite tropes?? the melancholy and bittersweet yearning can be so exquisite, it fully KOs me - anyway, this track is used so well in Palm Springs, under that slow-mo close up on Sarah while Nyles realizes he is big time in love and needs to get his shit together -

10. Florence + The Machine, "Morning Elvis" - this is my Grey's end of season 2 song for Izzy and Denny :((((( I guess 'cause "we are trying to make it through the devastation" vibes + Denny is from Memphis.

idk idk @katiewont, @rostovs, @zombiesassy, if u wanna-