#plus another part of me sits and gets mad for them like fuck you for trying to denying my hertiage and the shit i have faced because i'm no

[veone]

also yall know that thing about how people with adhd will forget you exist if they don't see you, that is very true on my end.

[nakoyaps]

unattractive

kenma kozume x fem! reader

kenma definitely isn’t the type of guy to take you out to big restaurats for dates— not that you’re asking him to; if anything you’re both happier spending one on one time at home.

though, to the conventional people in relationships this is a total no-no.

“seriously, y/n? he’s like a millionaire and he can’t spare a few hundred to go out on a date every once and a while? talk about stingy..” your friend, aiya nagged.

she’s always been materialistic if you’re being honest, you don’t even know why you still keep up with her. three whole years of friendship and you swear all you remember is “oh my god, i heard he’s rich!” “ugh, i dumped him— can you believe that he’s only an office worker?”

money is important, yes. you definitely agree on that. but, no one’s worth is solely based on how much they make or how much they spend.

“can you not talk about kenma like that? he’s just not the type that likes to go out.. and to be honest, neither am i.” you murmur, avoiding eye contact with her.

aiya raises a brow, an idea entering her pea brained mind “you seriously think a man with that much money ‘doesn’t like to go out’?”

“he’s so obviously an introvert, aiya.”

“he’s probably just hiding you away from the public cause he’s embarrassed. no offense..” aiya spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, an mildly exceptionally sickening smirk on her pretty pink lips.

“embarrassed— of what?”

“isn’t it obvious?” she asked, motioning to your physique.

“what the fuck, aiya? that’s my boyfriend we’re talking about.” you started to get agitated, raising your voice.

“well geez, no need to get all mad..” she chuckles, “he just doesn’t look like the type to be loyal, that’s all. plus, he’d look better with someone that’s more.. good looking? i’m not calling you ugly or anything, just.. you’re unconventionally beautiful.”

𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆

“fake ass bitch..” you grumble, slamming the door behind you as you flopped on your couch.

kenma appeared from around the corner, looking concerned. “you okay?”

his eyes softened seeing your sour expression, sitting down beside you.

“aiya keeps saying shit about you..”

“so what? people talk shit all the time.”

you roll your eyes, “she keeps saying you’re not good for me, you’d be better off with someone ‘conventionally attractive’ or whatever she’s talking about.”

“that’s not true” he strokes your hair.

“am i not good enough?”

“you are.”

you frown. this was a common reoccurrence and you know you’d get another scolding if you said what you were about to, but.. you only live once, right?

“why’d you choose me anyways? i’m sure lots of your gamer friends are pretty girls too..”

he raised a brow, shutting her eyes with his hands “if you can’t see how pretty you are, don’t even try looking at anything else.”

“i’m serious, kenma!”

“none of them are you. i didn’t just fall in love with your looks— sure they played a big part, but your personality really sealed the deal.”

“that’s what people say when they think their partner’s ugly.”

“you’re not gonna believe me anyways, so..” kenma chuckles, “but seriously, you’re gorgeous. you don’t have to listen to whatever she says just ‘cuz she’s your friend. plus, i keep telling you to stop hanging out with her anyways..”

“i don’t have any other friends—“

“yeah, well she’s a bad influence on you.”

you frowned, sitting upright. face to face with kenma, you felt butterflies in your stomach.

“i still feel like i’m crushing on you sometimes. like i forget that you’re my girlfriend just cause you’re so pretty.”

“fuck off, kenma..” a faint blush dusting your cheeks.

as your eyes met, you felt yourself reaching for his lips—

sorry if kenma felt ooc!! i was listening to music and i think it took control of my writing lol. the writing was all spontaneous cuz i suddenly felt like getting back into publishing fics :p

[w0rmss]

Jason todd nsfw alphabet

sorry for another one of these. I have no ideas and am lowkey sick rn so these are easy.

But feel free to request anything guys I got no ideas so please feed me so I can feed you or something profound like that.

I also am very into the kinda Jason that isn't sex mad but just enjoys it and enjoys his partner wanting and enjoying it.

Anyways enjoy

A: Aftercare: Great at it. Anything you need he's got for you. Anything your didn't know you want he's also got for you. Waiting on you hand and foot after pound town

B: Body part. He doesn't have a favourite body part of his he has such a love hate relationship with his body. He loves your collarbone and the crock of your neck. He loves to kiss there or bury his face and inhale you.

C: Cum. He likes to come inside. Condom or not it's just cleaner that way and less fumbling. He also finds it more intimate

D: Dirty little secret. He loves the romantic parts of your sex life. The soft sex the movie make outs the calm things. He has this big tough exterior but he really loves the soft sweet moments

E: Experience. Now controversial take. He has a bit of experience but isn't like crazy crazy experienced like a few exes here or there maybe an odd in night stand. But he ain't dick tim or bruce level experienced

F: favourite position. Missionary basic but he likes to see your face or be able to bury hid head in your neck. He also likes lotus which is where you basically sit cross legged and your partner sits on top. Same reason

G: Goofy. He's serious. Like he's focused on getting you off and making sure you have a good time he's not young around

H: Hair. Very very well groomed. Not balled but neat not a hair out of place

I: Intimacy. As I've stated he's very intimate. He loves seeing your face kissing you passionately etc

J: jacking off. No. He just doesn't need to he has you and craves the Intimacy of sex more so than sex sex

K: Kinks. Very very vanilla but enjoys overstimulating you

L: location. Bed. Or couch he's very private maybe in the shower if you ask but he prefers the softer quite spaces

M: Motivation. If you're in the mood then so is he. Sometimes it's just when a make out gets to much and he needs more too

N: Nos. Pain or exhibitionism

O: Oral. Giver. Massive giver like will come in his pants from giving you head

P: Pace. Slow and deep.

Q: Quickies. Not really. If you want one he's happy to but he diesn really like them he prefers taking his time and showing you all the love he can

R: Risks. He's not risky at all. Like he might try something small if you ask but he's not bring nothing to the table

S: Stamina. 3 plus rounds

T: Toys. Not really if you want to sure but he loves seeing you get off because of him

U: Unfair. He's not a tease at all. But he will 'accidentally' overstimulate you

V: Volume. Quiet a few grunts and moans here and there but they're not very loud

W: Wild card. As said he has gotten off to going down on you and he fucking loves it. It's his favourite way to get off

X: X ray. Big boy like thick and veiny round 7 inches give more so than take

Y: Yearning. He does really seek sex as I've said but he always wants to be touching you in some way sexual or not. Holding hands hands on yiru hips lips on your neck.

Z: zzz. He likes to watch you fall asleep before he does. Knowing your happy and safe makes him feel happy and safe.

Thank you hope you enjoyed

Feel free to request like reply repost. I love all the support I get from you guys thank you.

Stay safe

Have a wonderful day night afternoon etc

[lilyacorn]

Yandere delinquent x gn! Tutor reader x new! Yandere popular student

Yandere delinquent part 2!

(Since u guys liked part 1! With 30+ plus likes ty.)

What should i name yandere delinquent? Send the names in the comments :))

Possessive guy with puppy energy who gets jealous of another popular student you’re tutoring… >:( also new yandere character

Tw. Curse words. :))

Yandere delinquent- who was ecstatic when you told him to go to a local library for the session instead of his house! “…my first date! Heheh!”

Yandere delinquent- who dreamt multiple scenarios the night before the “date”

“…Then our hands bump against each other when they explain!” He kicked his feet in the air like a school girl while imagining those sweet lewd scenarios at the library… “hehehe! Soooo excited to see them again…”

Yandere delinquent- who wears a much nicer shirt than the last session at his house. “Hopefully they praise me… hehhe” with a goofy smile.

Yandere delinquent- who feels his heart dropping when he sees a popular student sitting beside you at the library- “who- …who’s that?”

Yandere delinquent- who feels like snapping the pen in his hand as he stares at the popular student rubbing their shoulder against yours as a way to “see the answer closer!” While deviously smirking at him. Stop going close to them you asshole

Yandere delinquent- who feels himself ready to stab the popular student when you smile at them when they get the answer right. why the fuck are they praising them… not me!

Yandere delinquent- who keeps asking questions to get your attention on him instead of that mf- “i don’t get this… help please?” With a pout to make you feel bad about not paying attention to him.

Yandere delinquent- who smirks at the popular student as you explain the question to him. I win you mf-

Yandere delinquent- who blushes when you flick his forehead to gain his attention on the questions! “…right sorry haha…” they’re so cute when theyre mad-

Yandere delinquent- who answers the math problems faster so that he could ask you questions about the next one. Fuck it i’ll answer randomly-

Yandere delinquent- who feels his heart fall to the ground when you laugh at the popular student’s joke. …they look good together with the saddest pout.

Yandere delinquent- who quickly says the corniest joke ever just so that you’d laugh at him instead “what do you call a pig that does karate? Pork-chop! Get it? Haha…” gosh that was the worst joke ever- why did you- UGHHHH

Yandere delinquent- who has a slight smile when you chuckle at his corny joke. At least they laughed… right?

Yandere delinquent- who doesn’t notice the time and its the end of the session. He offers to walk you home but the popular student asks at the same time “can i walk you home-“ “mind if i walk you home-“

Yandere delinquent- who stares deeply at the popular student who also stares deeply at him. Go away!

Yandere delinquent and the popular student both look at you.

Who will you choose?

An: btw the yandere popular student is out now!!

[luvulyy]

𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍.

𝖹𝖴𝖪𝖮 𝖷 𝖬𝖠𝖫𝖤 𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖤𝖱

WARNINGS: EXPLICIT SMOKING WEED

The feeling of Zuko's feet and legs tangled up in yours was the best sensation you had ever experienced.

Though that might be the weed speaking. You didn't think you would have believed he was this close to you if you both were sober.

The others were camped up in the far end of the Air Nomad temple. It was a bright night, the moon high in the sky was your only company as the embers of your campfire spluttered. When Zuko had emerged to the part of the ruins you often occupied on sleepless nice you'd quickly known what he was seeking.

A reprieve from silent four walls. A comfort only your company could give him. Plus it didnt hurt that he knew exactly how you tended to spend evenings like this, lazily smoking and admiring the stars.

There had been little words exchanged as Zuko joined your place sitting against the ruined walls, there wasn't any need to. Maybe you were afraid it would break the moment, silent and serene as the night chill swirled around you.

The closest you got to speaking was Zuko's nod of gratitude when you first offered him the joint.

The silence was short lived however, shattered when Zuko's body began to shake with the force of coughing. You instinctively began to rub his back, ignoring how much you enjoyed the sensation. It came far too casually, the urge to just continuously stroke your hand up and down his back.

As the coughs eased Zuko spluttered into his fist. 'Fuck, how can you stand that shit. My throat burns.'

You chuckled lowly, still not removing your hand. 'Mad talk from the firebender.'

Zuko tsked under his breath and finally passed it back, not meeting your eyes. You pulled deeply, enjoying the warm sensation that travelled through your body. You let your head lull back against the cold bricks, eyes lazily drawn to Zuko.

They always were, high or not. Not that you'd ever consider acting on your feelings.

Still, that didn't stop you when you finally moved your hand, instead travelling up to throw an arm across his shoulders. You pulled him into your side gently, only offering 'It's cold and you're hot, don't blame me' as explanation.

You ignored the blush that bloomed on his cheeks, and feigned ignorance when Zuko snuggled in the slightest amount.

As you returned the joint to him your eyes met and electricity flushed down your spine. It was impossible not to drown in his amber eyes, they were all you could see. They almost seemed to sparkle, rivalling the celestial view framing him. The slight red tinging his waterline complimented his usual colour scheme.

He was even more adorable than usual like this, relaxing into the high and your touch. Seeing him not entirely strung for once was nice. Endearing.

With another hit Zuko relaxed even further, melting into your side. As his head resting softly began against you you could've sworn your heart skipped a beat.

You could feel the line between you starting to blur. It was nothing new, there were times during the day you contemplated it. Times he looked at you with an indecipherable expression. With something you hoped was the affection you were also harbouring deep down.

You watched as Zuko went for a second pull and didn't get stop him. Maybe you were a little biased. Something you instantly regretted as he was hit with yet another wave of coughing. The two of you had no choice but to wait it out, silent until he stifled them to an occasional occurrence.

Zuko's eyes fell to you, tracing your face in true out of it fashion. 'How do you do this without dying? It's actually so unfair. Favouritism.'

You snorted in what you were sure was an attractive manner. Then paused as an idea came to you.

'Here, how bout we try something, might help you with the coughing.' You offered, face slack as to not give anything away.

The future fire lord simply raised an eyebrow sceptically. 'When has an idea of yours ever done us good?'

'You trust me?' You shot back, feeling emboldened by the high and atmosphere.

Zuko still looked unsure but nodded.

You tried to swallow your anxieties. This could either go very good or very wrong.

You inhaled deeply, eyes not leaving his. Then gestured for him to come closer, which he wordlessly obeyed. You turned your head, he was now so much closer than you'd expected. You drank in every beautiful detail of his face, so soft yet handsome in every way.

'Open?' You whispered lowly, holding the smoke in your lungs. Zuko's eyes widened slightly as he caught on, but he still did as told. You inched slightly closer, lips almost touching, then gently exhaled the puff into his mouth.

Zuko mimicked your deep breath in and blinked cutely when the inevitable wave of coughing never came. He seemed at a loss for words.

'That alright?' You pressed, body tense in anticipation. You really had no idea how he would react.

Yet all you got was a shrug as the firebender resumed his position using you as support. 'I'm not coughing my guts up, which is a start. What was that anyway?'

'Shotgunning.' You replied simply, playing it off as something casual and definitely didn't make your heart beat faster. You took another pull just to distract yourself, occupy your mind with something other than replaying the tantalising memory of his lips right next to yours.

You sat in silence for a minute, enjoying the ease his presence brought you. The fire crackled lazily but you made no motion to tend to it, instead Zuko lazily flicked his wrist and it roured back to life. You were admiring the flames dance when he spoke.

'Can we do it again?'

You froze like a deer in headlights. The courage you'd mustered earlier was nowhere to be found. But the buzz at the edge of your senses eased you. And the pink lingering on his cheeks was equally encouraging.

'If you're sure...' You offered softly, leaving things to Zuko. You didnt want to pressure him, didnt want to leave any chance of misreading where things were going.

Zuko shifted so his face was opposite yours again, eyes perfectly focused on yours. He shifted slightly so his forehead was pressing gently against yours. It was so gentle and intimate it took everything you had to resist holding him.

'I'm sure.' He whispered back, and the crystal clear question in his eyes left nothing unanswered.

You took another pull, and returned your lips to a hair's breath away from his. Pausing for a second to enjoy the moment, the warmth radiating from his presence, his closeness.

Then you exhaled. You moved impossibly closer to aim for his mouth, at the same time he raised his head to meet yours.

And somewhere along the way his lips found yours.

They were just as soft as you'd imagined, pressing against you with adorable shyness yet eager. Your breaths mingled and smoke danced between you. He tasted of weed and cold night air and it was the best thing you'd ever tasted. It was addictive, better than any drug.

As Zuko's grip found your collar and pulled you impossibly closer, you got a feeling that the shotgunning wasn't going to be a one time thing. Or the kissing.

[kabr0ztrousers]

There's this tired worn out guy and he can't help but fantasize about how nice it would be to be a hucow that spends his days getting his chest and dick milked, but everywhere only seems to hire women since it's much easier to induce lactation. He's sitting at this boring desk at work when a mysterious email shows up inviting him to trial run the newest technology in the hucow field!! When he arrives it's better than he can even fathom. Little does he know that this trial run is aired on TV for the entire world to see. People can send in money and control just how fast, slow, hard, or soft the machines milk or fuck him.

Kabr0z Writes episode 63: Reality TV

Find the rest of the Kabr0z Writes anthology here!

CWs: intox; dubcon; implements; restraints; humiliation; coercion; overstim;

A/N: This wasn't requested to be another Chitinid story, but there's only 2 continuities I have ongoing where hucows feature, and this is the one where it isn't an underground practice. I'm not against spinning out another continuity, but couching it where things are already set up helps streamline the process

########################################

A month ago, the old library had been flattened. That was the last interesting thing that had happened in this city, and since then Mike's life has been an unending sequence of cubicle walls and tedious emails. He sighed. Half the world spirited away to be milked stupid, spending the entire remainder of their lives in chemically induced ecstasy to harvest their sexual fluids, and he managed to wind up behind a desk.

Not that Mike hadn't tried, he wrote to his city supervisor, even tried going above his head to regional governor, but was met with the same response every time: his best place was where he was, sat behind a desk so Chitinid anthropologists could study him as the drab monotony of the passing days slowly drove him mad. No wonder they got resistance cells, even if they didn't admit they existed. Of course, everyone knew there was a resistance, libraries don't get demolished via high-caliber autocannons because of termites.

A notification pinged in the corner of the screen Mike had been ignoring for the last hour. A half page of corporate lorem ipsum left behind by his train of thought. He opened the email and scanned it, finger poised over the delete key.

"You have been Selected" came the subject line

Weird, spam didn't exist any more. Nobody had anything to steal, companies didn't have any information to pillage, there wasn't even anything worth destroying. He read on

"Congratulations!

You have been selected to take part in a viability study involving human livestock material harvesting. You have been selected because either you have registered interest with your city supervisor, or your usefulness has been re-evaluated"

Well, he'd definitely made his interest well known. The rest of the email detailed where to go, what to bring, when to be there. One final sentence capped off the message, reminding the recipients that this is in fact not optional. Mike would either go willingly, or he would be taken. That's one way to deal with people not reading their email.

There wasn't much required to bring. Civilian travel documents, ID card, and the clothes on his back. Only he turned up, either everyone else was trying to hide or nobody else was selected from his area, either way, he probably wouldn't find out. Transparency was never at the top of their lists of priorities.

A gunship swung down low, the silent engine didn't even disturb the treetops as the vessel passed within inches of them. A voice came over the loudspeaker, a Chitinid speaking English

"Citizen Lewis, Michael. Identity recognised. Stand by for transfer"

Stand by for transfer. Sounds like he wasn't about to be atomised by weapons fire at least. Always a plus

A confinement field engulfed him. The tingling blue light surrounding you before the world disappeared, replaced with a holding cell. Exactly as expected.

There's no way to measure time in a Chitinid holding cell. The walls are blank, the lighting flat. This one didn't even seem to have a door.

Mike tried to sleep, without success. Chitinids never seemed to realise that blue light stops humans going to sleep, either that or they just didn't care. So he sat on the floor. The ship could be anywhere, going at any speed, there's no way to know. Mike had an idea of where it was probably headed, the human farms were kept in great facilities on the moon. They were visible even without a telescope, even if the ship traffic to and from wasn't.

The lights in the room brightened, the air becoming charged. The whole room was filled with a confinement field. The world flipped, beaming the hapless man down, completely nude, onto a metal table.

He couldn't move, he must have been sent from one confinement field to another. This didn't match what he'd been told about these facilities. Normally the people in these facilities would be held in huge spaces, hundreds of them plugged into machines with little to no conception of privacy. The room Mike found himself in was small, with only the table he was held to and only one device on the ceiling for company. A screen flickered to life, covering an entire wall of the room. Mike could see himself in it, the blue light of the containment casting him in a sickly pallor as the machine on the ceiling whirred to life.

A cup suctioned itself to his crotch as tubes carrying drugs attached themselves to his arms. A voice filled the room "Welcome, citizen, to the game of your life! You're live on channel nine!"

What?

A sound effect played. A number appeared on the screen and drugs pushed into Mike's bloodstream. He gasped as his skin flushed, turning red and immediately glistening with perspiration. Another noise, more drugs. His cock was achingly hard now, starting to throb into the tube surrounding it. The field parted his legs, bringing his knees upwards as a probe pushed against his asshole. Another noise and it pressed in, the cold metal making him wince before a tingling electric current ran through his prostate to the tip of his cock. The noises were speeding up, each one driving more drugs into him. Mike's chest became heavy, tits starting to bud, already leaking creamy milk as his cock dribbled precum.

A different noise, louder, more discordant, accompanied by the quick chattering of a Chitinid. The gentle electric pulsing from the probe in Mike's ass intensified for a moment. His hips bucked as his balls clenched, a rope of cum jetting from the tip of his cock. Then another, and another. The cocktail of alien aphrodisiac flowing into his body kept his cock hard and cooperative, but did nothing to stop his balls aching or the shaft burning as another noise jolted him again. His tits were leaking more now, probes fixing themselves to his nipples to collect the fluids, pumping and sucking the liquid out as the new tits kept growing at an alarming rate.

He groaned, partially from the exertions of the repeated orgasms, partly from the growing pains on his chest. The vocalisation caused a flurry of noises, the drugs hammering into his body causing him to twitch and convulse as a stream of thick cum pumped from his cock, getting thin and watery as his balls emptied out.

Mike's groans grew weaker, turning to wheezing sobs as the stimulation took its toll. His cock was still throbbing, trying to pump out ever more but nothing came, only the clenching of his drained nutsack sending painful lances through him.

The screen went dark. The stimulation stopped.

"Good show! Same time tomorrow!"

####################################

Well, I'll admit I'd lost faith in this one at about the halfway mark but feel like I pulled it back at the end

As always, any requests, ideas, scenarios, lore questions, etc, send an ask. I try to answer non-request asks quickly but if you bundle a question or something with a req, it'll get answered when you get your story

[vaya-writes]

I have probably read you talk about the wrath soul mate piece already?? But my memory is very poor so please give us more info! (If you want to ^_^ )

This is the post I made about it during the ask game. But I've changed directions with it and been thinking of another iteration.

In this one, some wrath demon saves you from getting assaulted because you're his 'perfect match' and he looses his nut and kills the person doing so. It's still traumatic, but probably won't go in a non consent or dubious consent direction, unlike the original idea.

I'm trying out the piece writing about Bean from Plus Two, as my stand in wrath demon.

Fuck it we ball, here's a chunk of what I wrote today; content warnings for references to the assault and Bean's violence afterwards, not discussed for long but certainly a prominent part of the discussion:

---

You wake up after having a nightmare of the assault. You were so tired last night that for the first time since staying with Bean's family, you didn’t lock the door. 

Gasping. Sniffling. Kicking off the blankets. 

Then a soft voice. “You’re safe. You’re here with me. My home. Your bed. You got out, you’re safe.” 

“Bean?” You sit upright but you can’t see him. “Where are you?” 

“On the floor, over here.” He’s sitting at the threshold of your doorway. Set on watching you, giving you company. But almost vampiric in the way he lingers outside the door frame, unable to enter without permission. But that’s stupid, that’s not how demons work.  

The pair of you are in silence for a while. You recover your breath. Dash tears. Let adrenaline leave you languid and sluggish and tired again. 

“Why are you here?” 

“I live here.” 

You both know that’s not the answer you were looking for. Not what you meant. 

He stares down at his hands, apparently abashed. “Wanted your company. Didn’t want to wake you, though.” 

You should read into that statement but you don’t know how. Don’t know anything really. Why he’s so taken with you. Why he acted the way he did at Meeting Place. Why he’s apparently obsessed with you, but extremely carefully not to invade your space. Even when he could. You’ve seen what he can do. You couldn’t do shit to stop him.  

“Why am I here?” 

There’s a long silence. He doesn’t do you the disservice of misconstruing your words again.  

Until finally- 

“Do you know what a perfect match is?” 

It takes you a moment to recall the information. “That’s like. Soulmates, but for demons, right?” 

His voice is still soft. It’s uncharacteristic, from what you know of him. 

“Kind of. One of a kind, incredibly rare, yes. But more like. I get my kicks from pain and frustration. And I get stronger when I inspire anger in others. Sometimes if people are mad enough, just being around them fills me with power. And it’s fun. It feels good, like a rush. Like eating when you didn’t realise you were hungry. Hard to explain. 

“But a perfect match? All their pain, all their anger... It’s ambrosial. The best thing we could ever taste. Nothing else like it in the world. To put it mildly.” 

His voice peters into silence. 

He’s not been the most talkative, in the time you’ve known him. Not silent, by any means. But words have been careful around you. Chosen slowly, with an air of restraint. He’s freer talking to his family, trading jabs and quips. Relaxed, even when angry.  

For him to be telling you this, it must be important. It must be- 

You straighten. Swing your legs out of bed, ready to stand at a moment’s notice. 

“No.” 

He meets your eyes. Face soft. Perhaps a little amused. A little sheepish. “Yeah.” 

“No,” you’re resolute. “No way. I’m not that-” Special? Unique?  

“You are.” He shrugs. Like he’s already come to terms with it. Like it’s not that big a deal. 

Part of you wants to panic. To slam the door in Bean’s face and climb into the ensuite shower and sit on the floor under the cold spray and wait there until you feel something other than this.  

The other part of you wants to understand. To know what’s going to happen to you. You didn’t consent to being here. It was just the next logical step after Bean got you out of PLACE. Will he let you leave? Will you be allowed to go back to your life? 

A smaller part interjects. Asks: could you go back? After everything you’ve been through?  

“So, if I stub my toe and cuss out the piece of furniture that I kicked?” 

He smiles. “Too small to register if it were anyone else. But from you? A delicious snack.” 

His gentle tone and placating smiles don’t stop you from spiralling. 

“And when I was on the ground? With that demon standing over me. Hurting. Humiliated. Terrified.” 

The smile drops and Bean stands. Grips the doorframe. “Noteworthy. Impossible for any demon to ignore. But it paled in comparison to afterwards. Watching you force out those insults. Staying upright through the pain. Seeing you kick his corpse until blood splatter covered your legs. That was-” his eyes darken. His voice drops half an octave as he picks his next words. “So much better.” 

-

(immediately after this line she has the realisation of 'oh, he's going to make me worse')

[tacticalsp]

I have YET to draw my OC after all these years bc she's lowkey a self insert, So PLES Read abt her and her relationships with the characters instead. Please...

Dee is 17 (senior), heavy is 15 (sophmore) and lif is 17 (senior) and Penelope is 16 (junior) I did age them up bc i was 13 when i first started watching the show, but I want them to age with me!!

Looks: Her name is Penelope and she's 16. She's 5"5 has long curly brown hair and slim. Usually wearing low rise dark wash boot cut jeans, or shorts and tights, or sometimes, a skirt or dress. Band-ts or stupid socks like sonic, anything thrifted tbh and she loves leather and dressing like its the apocolypse

Backstory and personality: Her parents were always loosing custody of her, and she was passed through foster homes with many kids and she usually became the 3rd parent of sorts. In almost every school she was an outcast, to her own avail though, she has an issue with opening up to people and she finds mostly people annoying and stupidly rude, but she's pretty friendly and very energetic when u get to know her. Plus shes weird as shit. You could find her skating, or boxing. Or you could find her coverd in mud holding a beetle.

Her current foster mother had to move due to her job. She's been with this lady for about 2 years now. They argue alot and they dont like eachother often, but the love is still there trust me.

Relationships

Heavy: they're both silly and they bond over liking really heavy metal. They hang out often bc she lives like a block away and they usually skate, or scrap the abandoned buildings. Heavy collects cool shiny things and Penelope likes to find parts like in the iron cemetery, and build things with them. She loves trash and junk so. They usually get in trouble for trespassing and being loud but Penelope's always able to get them out of trouble with her massively good manipulation skills. They do anything together but its like amped up to 1000%. They just make each other louder and sillier. The chemistry is perfect. They're really good friends and when they graduate, they end up dating in college.

Example scene: They once broke into a zoo at night to see the monkeys and skate around but heavy ended up falling into the lion exhibit and Penelope was able to get him out in time. So they ran out terrified and just walked home in silence didn't even skate back, thats how scared they were. Few days later they learn that they're dumbasses actually fell into the fucking flamingo exhibit and they weren't even out, they were in the building area. There were no lions at that zoo.

Dee: Dee is jealous of Penelope's life, he wants the freedom she has with a carefree foster mom. She's also reclusive and always out doing weird shit so he just thinks she weird and feels uncomfortable around her. He's also mad bc she flirts with lif to make him angry. She thinks he's arrogant, and finds him bratty. The fact that his hair is so nice pisses her off bc there's no way you can have a good hair day everyday. She also doesnt like how immature he acts with his brother. That's just what they tell themselves tbh, there's actually no real reason for why they dislike each other, they actually respect one another's intellect, they're just both too immature to realize that they'd be pretty good friends. They usually just spend time at school silently competing, or bickering and taking cheap shots at each other. But they lowkey care abt eachother, even if its slightly. ALSO, they brag and argue in class silently through glances and writing on a paper, everyone else just thinks their writing love notes to each other but, little do they know, its just mass amounts of profanity. OCCASONALLY, they will commit crimes together. Dont ask for details, they wont be told.

Example Scene: During class penelope gets a higher score on a test and they just glare at eachother. They leave class and some kid that sits behind them starts yapping fr like "dee i cant belive you got a lower score than your girlfriend" and following him in the hall. Dee just rolls his eyes and ignores him but penelope walks by and trips the kid and he falls on his face. "not his girlfriend" Dee and her exchange a smile, and then they go back to being enemys bc thats the way of the world okay.

Lif: Her and Penelope are really good friends too, they also really like each other. They usually listen to music and draw in abandoned buildings. Or build fake wounds on each other and blood to scare people. They love watching weird ass horror movies in the back of class. They have like a best friend relationship fr. Lif taught penelope how to do makeup and Penelope always geeks about animals and bugs and lif thinks its cute. They also support each other bc Lif has some aggressive apophenia, and penelope has adhd/autism. She also has alic and wonderland syndrom so she can relate to lif in someways and they help eachother. Like penelope reminding her to take her meds, or lif taking care of penelope when shes over stimulated. They SLIGHTLY crush on each other, and are aware of it, but wont ever get together because they just dont want that. The most they do is e-flirt with eachother while playing roblox. This slowly dissipates and they just stay best friends by the end of highschool.

Example scene: They do a presentation for history on the history of cannibalism "with images". And made two kids cry. So the teacher separated their seats for a week but they just slowly scooted back to their old seats everyday till the teacher forgot. Also that time they lowkey committed arson but we dont talk about that.

!!Friendship Combos!!

Heavy + Dee = Brotherly, 50/50 sometimes

Heavy + Lif = Future in laws?

Lif + Dee = Crush town. Kinda cute

Heavy + Penelope = Wild Card

Lif + Penelope = Cult VIbes...

Dee + Penelope = 18+ vocabulary, Possible Criminal activity

Heavy + Dee + Penelope = Switzerland

Heavy + Lif + Penelope = We did WHAT?

Lif + Dee + Penelope = Awkward

Dee + Heavy + Lif + Penelope = Awesome sleepover! Everyone gets along. Karaoke night!!

K im bored of typing. @bluegummiez for inspiering me to post this lol. I like ur OC alot

[jacs33]

The Bet Part 2

Words: 1.6k

Pairings: Pierre Gasly x Female Oc

Aurora did the not so smart thing by leaving the restaurant and going to the bar, unlike her original plans of going back to her room and eating her feelings in ice cream. Her, a broken heart, and alcohol have never mixed well, as she had a habit of drinking way too much, more than she normally did.

Which brought her stumbling to her godfathers hotel room almost black out drunk and crying. She was mad at herself for even crying over Pierre, as he didn’t deserve her tears.

No, he deserved her anger the most. Being the one to stand her up and then bring another girl to that same restaurant, knowing that she’d be there was a low blow.

Not only had he hurt her, but he also humiliated her tonight. Although she doubts the girl knew, or anyone for that matter. But it was still the fact that she found herself insanely happy for the date.

She felt something for Pierre, which doesn’t happen often for her.

It was hard for Aurora to love or to let people in as her own parents were in and out of her life, only appearing when they wanted something from her.

Relationships were the same story almost, boyfriends would always tell lies about loving her then going off to cheat on her, only wanting her around when there was something that involved having a plus one.

There was only one person that was a constant in her life, that was there through every heartbreak, rather from her parents or boyfriends.

Kimi Raikkonen treated his goddaughter as if she were his actual child, because to him she was, as he had raised her since she was one, after finding her alone in her crib while his best friend was out partying along with his wife.

So when he woke up to loud sobs outside his hotel door in the middle of night and found the sole person those sobs belonged to, he swore that he would hurt whoever caused them.

“Let’s get you inside.” He whispered while picking her up and bringing her into the room, kissing her head as she snuggled into his chest like when she was younger.

“I-it hurts uncle Kimi.” She sobbed into his chest, while he rubbed her back, getting into the bed and leaning his back against the headboard.

“What does Aurora? What happened?” He questioned softly.

“He stood me up.” She said, crying. “But that’s not all, he brought another date to the restaurant that he was supposed to be meeting me at.”

“Who, sweetheart?” He questioned, pissed, whoever he is would have to face him, how could someone be that heartless to stand someone up and take their next date to the same place, to rub it into an innocent girl's face.

“Pierre Gasly”

“Fucking asshole.” He grumbled. “Just get some sleep sweetheart, okay?”

“Okay, goodnight uncle Kimi.” She whispered, crawling into the other side of the bed and falling asleep almost immediately.

The next morning Pierre, Max, Daniel, Charles and Daniil were standing around outside Charles’s garage.

The other four wanted to know what exactly happened last night and to see if the bet was completed.

Which to them it was Pierre, one of the biggest fuck boys in the paddock, if anyone would’ve completed that bet, it would have been him, unless he fully liked the person.

Even then it was unlikely that he’s stay with them very long before getting bored with the relationship.

“So how did last night go?” Daniel was the first one to ask, curiosity getting the best of him.

“Easy, I stood her up.” Pierre shrugged. “I did it in a less easy way on her though.”

“Oh?” Max questioned.

“I just bought another date to the same restaurant five minutes later, my whole plan was to walk by her and rub it in her face but we ended up sitting by her.”

“How’d she take it?” Charles asked.

“Surprisingly well. I expected her to walk out in a crying mess but she just sat there and ate, didn’t even look over at us at all, didn’t even say anything either. She had the perfect opportunity to ruin my date but left it. It confused me honestly.”

“Weird.” Daniil said. “I would’ve punched you in her shoes.” He added with a chuckle.

“Guess she just didn’t care.” Pierre shrugged, watching Kimi walk in with a girl, before catching a glimpse of her. “Oh fuck.” He muttered.

He couldn’t believe that she was here right now, with the proclaimed Iceman of F1, he wasn’t supposed to see her again.

She was someone that was supposed to just disappear from his life like the others.

But now she's standing here in the place of his work, walking with the one guy no one wants to mess with, Kimi Raikkonen.

Daniel caught where he was looking at mumbles with a gulp. “Please tell me she is the one we bet on…”

Pierre found himself unable to reply and just nodded at his Australian friend.

“Fucking hell.” Daniel mumbled. “Kimi’s god daughter out of all people?!” He whispered yelled.

“Your the one that pointed her out.” He found himself also whispering harshly. “Why didn’t you tell me that she was Kimi’s god daughter!”

“Kimi has a god daughter?” Charles whispers.

“Yes, and why are you all freaking out about Aurora?” Sebastian said, appearing in the conversation after walking passed.

All the boys seemed panicked and worried about this and that itself worried the German.

“What did you do?” He added before anyone could speak, just having a gut feeling.

“Umm” Charles mumbled quietly.

“Tell me, because whatever it is, if Kimi finds out, you're all likely to be dead. He’s insanely protective of her as she’s had a rough past. So please just spit it out so I can decide whether my help is warranted or not.”

“We dared Pierre to sleep with a girl from the bar and then to take her out on a date the next night, only to stand her up when it came time for the actual date.” Daniil explained to Seb. “It was just supposed to be harmless.”

“Are you fucking serious?!”

“Look we didn’t know she was like a family member to a driver I swear. We just thought she was a random stranger.”

“Daniel should’ve known! He’s seen her around before.”

“I was drunk and couldn’t see straight, she also changed a lot from the last time I saw her.”

“Can we please just figure out how to get me to survive throughout the day? He looks ready to kill me.” Pierre whispers with a gulp now realizing that Kimi was indeed glaring at the group from his garage, with Aurora’s back turned away from them.

“Nope, you five are on your own, I’m not about to stand in his way for killing you Pierre. You don’t fuck with Aurora at all.” Seb told them while walking off towards the duo.

Pierre froze in his place when she turned to face Sebastian and hug him with a smile, it was then that he actually saw the effects of his actions.

While she was trying to be strong in front of everyone, not liking to show people that she’s not okay, he could see the puffy eyes and even the dull look that her beautiful eyes now show.

He never regretted his actions more than he does right now.

It wasn’t just because he might die at the hands of Kimi, but because he hurt the most gorgeous woman in the world just to win a stupid bet.

A bet that could have possibly ruined what could be the best thing in his life after the rough patch he was in these past few days.

And he had no idea how to fix it or if he even could.

But if taking a good beating from Kimi to make her happy or feel better, he'll take it without hesitation.

Because he deserves it after that, after hurting her like that.

“Yeah, we better run.” Max said cutting him out of his thoughts seeing Kimi storming their way after he had someone near Aurora to keep an eye on her.

While everyone nodded and ran off as fast as they could to their garages, Charles went to his drivers room to hide out, Pierre just stood there facing it head on.

In what could have been the second most stupid thing to do in one weekend.

“Pierre fucking Gasly.” Kimi growls out when he reaches him, caught the attention of those around them in the paddock.

“Hey, Kimi.” Pierre gulped. “How are you?”

“Shut it. I know what you did last night and it was fucked up.”

“Kimi, I feel guilty about it.”

“Bullshit, you wouldn’t have done it if you actually cared about Aurora.” Kimi glared at him. “You leave her alone, I haven’t seen her like that in awhile, and I refuse to let see her back to the way she was before because of a stupid fuck boy who can’t keep it in their pants and doesn’t care about their feelings.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t ask if you knew, this is the last thing you’ll do to her, I know about the bet, Sebastian filled me and her in on it. Come around her again and I’ll give you something to feel guilty about. Right now I’m not doing anything because she asked me not to, so you can thank her for protecting your ass for some reason.” He told the Frenchman with a deadly glare before walking off and back to his god daughter, leaving Pierre in a stunned silence.

Pierre couldn’t rack his brain over the fact that she basically protected him from the dangers of Kimi’s wrath, not that Kimi could also believe that he was following through with his goddaughter’s request.

[riahinreallife]

First off I just wanna say this is my first post and I hope people enjoy

Summary: a girl goes to a club. She notices her phone is missing when she goes outside. A cute guy goes after her because he found her phone. She asks him to help her find a bus and the ride the bus together in the same sit on a crowded bus....

That Night

That night at the club I saw him. I saw him a couple times actually. I was mostly on the dance floor but every time I went to the bar for another drink you were there. You were cute. I thought to myself 'we could definitely get along'. I wonder if you think that we could. Later that night when I was drunk out of my mind still at the club I decided it was time to leave. As soon as I walk out of the door the cold air hits me like a hard smack across the face. It actually sobers me up a little. Not nearly enough though. I stumbled a little. I grab on to the club wall and slide down. My legs are not able to hold me up any longer. "Fuck. I need to get home..." I run my fingers through my hair. I leave my hands on my face. I hear someone run out of the club. I keep my head down. "Hey you alright?" A voice calls out. I whip my head up. It's you. The guy from the bar. " Oh uh.. yeah. I need to find my phone, I need to get home" I look up at you. "That's actually why I came out here." He pulls out a phone from his pocket. "I'm assuming it's your because the lock screen seems to have you and I'm assuming your friends, on it." "Oh my God. Yes! This is my phone! Thank you!" I stand up still a little wobbly. "You're a life saver" "more of just a phone saver." "I would quite literally die without my phone" "I guess I just saved you life" "yeah you really did. Thank you again." "Of course. Not much I could do with it anyway." "Yeah. I gotta get home. Do you know a bus I could catch or something. I'm not around this part of town often." "Yeah, I'll show you the way I need to get home anyway too." "Thank you so much." I say as I follow you as we walk to a bus.

"It's really no problem. This might be awkward, but could I possibly get your number?" "Yeah, of course. You saved my night. Plus you're cute." We exchange numbers as we continue to walk. After a while of walking I try to break the silence. "Soo... Wanna do some ice breakers?" "Sure, what's your favorite color" "lavender, yours?" "Navy blue" "how about your job" "I always wanted to be a firefighter when I was a little boy." After a little while of talking and ice breakers we reach our destination. "Here we are" he announces. We are at a bus station. There's a bench. We sit down and wait. "Are you getting on the bus as well?" I say out of pure curiosity. "Yeah, gotta get home." "I was hoping so. Some people on the bus are a little..." "Crazy." "Yeah.." "don't worry. I get it. There's a lot of creeps out there. I try to make women feel safe. I try to sit away from them so they don't overthink anything." "Wow you're a mastermind aren't you?" I say sarcastically. He just shrugs. I'm mostly sober at this point. Not completely though. I don't know if it's alcohol, or if I'm ovulating, maybe it's both but I'm longing for this man's touch. Not like an improper touch, just a small touch. Like a hand on the shoulder or knee. I feel the thigh is stretching it a bit but I wouldn't be mad. It's the only thing I can think about. It doesn't take long for the bus to get there. It's packed full of people. I eventually find a set. The man that I don't even know the name of can't seem to find a seat. I offer for him to sit next to me. He sits down. I put my earbuds in and lean my head against the window. The cold of the window feels so nice on my face. The bus lights turn off and we are on our way. The darkness of the bus is comforting. Silently I still long for his touch. A new song starts when I feel his hand rest slightly above my knee. I slowly look over to him. He's not looking at me. I put my head back on the cold window. Although this time it's not so cold. Your hand gives me warmth it shouldn't. I feel warmth creep to my cheeks. I try to focus on this song. At this moment the song seems so stupid. The song fades into the background. All I can focus on is his hand. Still I don't look but I can't feel anything else but the warmth of him hand. It's kinda.. comforting. Sooner than I'd like, it's his stop. He stands up and the warmth of his hand leaves with him. Now I'm left on the bus alone and cold. I want him to come back. I want to feel the warmth of his hand again. I want the warmth of his mouth. I hope I can run into him again. Better yet I can text him.

Note: I will most likely be writing more to this story but I have school and write mostly on weekends.

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №14! 2 weeks anniversary woooo

Void edition!

Also I'm writing this sitting under a linden tree. Smells absolutely amazing.AH MUFFIN A BUG JUMPED ONTO MY THIGH WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS AND IT WASNT A BEE

What IS void? Is it an entity? A place?

How does it know everything?

Did it even come from the fault universe originally? I mean, it has access to knowledge no other character possesses. Is it something of another world then?

How the heck did it get trapped within Wilbur? Is it even trapped? Basically, Wilbur and Void. What's their thing?

Is void and void madness the same thing? Does void give people void madness? Does it happen by itself? Basically, what's the thing with that?

Okay but like if the higher being that was watching me was a teenage girl, even from another universe, I'd probably be more dissapointed than go mad. Plus they've handled far worse, I feel like. Existential horror doesn't seem new to the crew, why is void madness actually to distressing?

Somewhat personal stuff on the topic, don't read if you don't want to or don't care, I completely understand: I mean, personally, I'd probably take some comfort in being watched like that. It at least means that I'm interesting and or sympathetic and that my life will be interesting too. But I'm biased, as a person who spends their free time monologuing to the "chat" (aka nonexistent entities that I made up that watch me all of the time and hear my thoughts purely because the realisation that I am indeed alone in my mind and in general was too distressing to accept)

Haha anyways! Yeah fuck you, void : D

No that was Tubbo in a funny hat. And this is MASSIVE spoilers for Fault; the characters have only briefly brushed against void madness in very small doses, since they’re more concerned with things like interpersonal drama and being shot at. At most I’d say there’s foreshadowing with increasing implications such as in Tubbos’ minor foray into the void or Greg, but the curtain hasn’t peeled back on that can of worms.

I’d like to address part of 7 up here, since I think it’s an excellent framework to understanding why I added a layer of metafictionality to Fault (beyond the fact it’s cool as hell).

I narrate constantly in my internal monologue too. I think it's a very human impulse to frame things in stories even (or especially) when we never tell them. It's how we try to make sense of the world, create cause and effect and feel like we have control in a very stoichastic universe. We feel the need to explain in order to process things, which is why things like journalling, talking to people (or even imagining to do so) can be helpful. And so we create audiences both internal and external to partake in the act of a story, because that’s how it’s supposed to work. A speaker, a listener. In a way Fault is my way of processing different philosophy systems externally through the framework of a story, and I’m just lucky enough that other people have decided to listen.

Internal narratives make it easier to process things because in a way it’s a short cut. It explains the world in a way that’s simpler and easier to work with than reality, which would be very overwhelming otherwise. Instead of having to examine everything always and treat it like it’s new, additional information can be shoved in a category with similar data. This is where we get confirmation bias, prejudices, conspiracy theories too. Information that contradicts with our story is often discarded. Our story of how the world works is also the story of ourselves.

I’m going to sound pretentious for a sec here (well this entire preface really)(I promise I stole this from a YouTube video I’m not literate). In ‘The Mnemonic Imagination’ Keightley and Pickering posit that “Trauma is when an experience is so contradicting to your sense of continuity that your internal narrative is effectively destroyed.” It's too big to be discarded, and so the narrative is discarded instead. Fault deals heavily in trauma, in how it disrupts internal understanding of the world and creates new narratives. We see this in the hallway reframing Tommy’s understanding so that he and his friends are monsters. We see this in Wilbur’s bad experiences with humans leading it to simplifying into humanity into something always evil. In the past when faced with trauma, I would find myself repeating an explanation over and over to imagined people, to make it easier to process. Trying to frame it in a way that reintegrates it into the overall narrative, because it needed to fit before I could move on.

If trauma is the disruption of narratives, and Fault is about trauma, it made sense for me to examine how far an internal understanding of the world could break. I wanted to examine our relationships to stories both internal and externally. Metafictional madness will not be the only type of derealization at play at that point of the narrative, and I want to examine how trauma creates disconnect and alienation from the world around you. How the stories we tell ourselves affects how we treat others. And even more importantly, how to reject the new framework of the world that trauma creates. Chiefly, in restarting the narrative. Choosing to continue the story. Choosing to live.

People are made of stories. They are how we survive. Fault above all is about survival in all its messy glory.

And also it looks sick as hell.

What IS void? Is it an entity? A place?

The void is both a dimension and a collection of Conceptuals. It’s an eclectic group that are all ambitious cunning and territorial. Very dog-eat-dog, all scrambling for dominance.

On the dimensional front, it’s a bog standard infinite evil plane filled with monsters and goulies. The world itself is implied to also be an entity in their own right, or rather many entities, turtles all the way down style. Tubbo described it as such: “The terrain is layers. It’s all superimposed on everything else. Like, one spot might be an infinite mountain, but also a wine sea, but also an alien city, but also a bone bog, but also the fur of some beast, but also— just hundreds of realities all happening in the same spot. We can can sorta focus on one layer, but the others butt in. They’re all shadows cast from a million things, mixing into a blur but each version distinct.”

It’s like facets on the same gem, infinite fractals of planes of non existence each filled with horrors all fighting for dominance. It would be fairly maddening to fully behold, but luckily Tubbo gets some defense via being a partially omnipresent multitude.

3. Did it even come from the fault universe originally? I mean, it has access to knowledge no other character possesses. Is it something of another world then?

The void is its own world. Unworld maybe? Regardless it’s broken into the Fault universe.

4. How the heck did it get trapped within Wilbur? Is it even trapped? Basically, Wilbur and Void. What's their thing?

The void typically is separate from the dimension of Fault. It is ravenous but in the void there is nothing they can actually eat. So every few generations the void pools its power together to create a vessel. This is different from how The Blood God chooses a preexisting host. Wilbur never agreed to be a vessel, it was simply born as one. Through this vessel the void has torn a tiny hole in the fabric of Fault, through which it can seep in and cause problems. That’s the hole in Wilbur’s head.

Like many vessels, Wilbur has sovereignty over the void to some extent. Part of that is being a person, but part of it is being the culmination of the void’s efforts pooled together. So he is the one thing that can really control the void if with varying success based on his willpower. And like every other voidkeeper that has ever existed in Fault, Wilbur realized oh wait the void wants to devour all matter, and I’m matter so I should stop that. To Wilbur the void is a burden, to the void Wilbur is an opportunity. But also not their only opportunity, so if he dies oh well but they also did put in a lot of effort to make it in the first place. Imagine trying to create the perfect OC and a world domination scheme with the infinite number of typewriter monkeys. Who all have knives and will attack if they don't like your proposed amendment re: amount of teeth.

5. Is void and void madness the same thing? Does void give people void madness? Does it happen by itself? Basically, what's the thing with that?

The void can cause its own sort of eldritch madness, speaking in tongues, clawing your eyes out, basic stuff like that. Void madness is probably an inaccurate term since I was just being cheeky when I said it. It is not madness the void causes in and of itself, and is more of a byproduct from their actions. The void’s goal is to consume all of reality. Hence creating Wilbur, so they have access. But Fault is not reality, it’s a fan fiction, and so to eat reality the void first has to eat Fault. Like an entrée.

The problem occurs when the void eats through Fault, creating holes to reality beyond. This exposes characters to the fact they are in a story, which starts to cause problems.

It’s not eldritch madness in the common sense with the bleeding eyes and gibberish, but instead madness born from being aware of metafictionality. More like the ant understanding a computer chip type of madness. It’s a fact that reframes one’s entire reality in a way completely incongruous to one’s previous life, unfathomable to anyone else and thus isolating. It’s really a type of trauma, the type seen as too ‘horrific’ to share with others for fear of tainting them as well.

2.How does it know everything?

I don’t think it’s a symptom of being Conceptuals, else Phil, Niki, The Blood God, etc would be aware of the metafictionality. In all likelihood, trial and error. After a few goes with vessels one probably inevitably got a rip in the Fault universe to reality beyond and thereafter were desperate to break through two layers between dimensions instead of just the one. The void isn’t necessarily a collective given how individualist it is, but knowledge is power and they have literally eternity to spread the word through gossip, hushed secrets, brochures, etc.

6. Okay but like if the higher being that was watching me was a teenage girl, even from another universe, I'd probably be more dissapointed than go mad. Plus they've handled far worse, I feel like. Existential horror doesn't seem new to the crew, why is void madness actually to distressing?

Technically, the Fault guys actually haven’t dealt with metafictional madness. At most they’ve brushed up against it. Tubbo's gotten some brief glimpses and has some forbidden knowledge but doesn’t know what it means. Philza experienced some holes in the narrative and started to unravel since he’s weak to psychic attacks, but he thought it was just eldritch madness. And Wilbur kinda dismisses all that stuff because well it’s the void it’s TRYING to make you go insane so why would you believe the crap they’re saying?

The horror lies in realizing you are a character without control of your existence, thoughts, agency who suffers and lives for the amusement of otherworldly beings you can’t even comprehend. It’s the realization that your personality, traumas, relationships has been manufactured by a cruel god. It’s like suddenly blinking and the world around you is made of cardboard props, or the stage light falling in the Truman Show. It’s existential horror in the reframing of your entire existence, of knowing nothing is real it doesn’t matter while everyone you’ve ever loved carries on believing they’re people. They’re not. You aren’t.

You didn’t exist until a few months ago, and when the story ends so will you. The moment you aren’t interesting you cease existing. Are you real in the moment between scenes? Does your friend stop existing the moment they leave the room? Do you have thoughts only when the story is in your perspective? Do you have thoughts at all or just what the author forces you to think?

7. Somewhat personal stuff on the topic, don't read if you don't want to or don't care, I completely understand: I mean, personally, I'd probably take some comfort in being watched like that. It at least means that I'm interesting and or sympathetic and that my life will be interesting too. But I'm biased, as a person who spends their free time monologuing to the "chat" (aka nonexistent entities that I made up that watch me all of the time and hear my thoughts purely because the realisation that I am indeed alone in my mind and in general was too distressing to accept) Haha anyways! Yeah ṁ̵̮̌ủ̷̢͉̫̕f̸͍̠̬̾f̷̭̳͙̚i̷̪̳̥̾̑n̷̢̩̝͗̿ you, void : D

There are a lot of ways to deal with that type of information. Not all characters react to void madness in the same way, much like they all have different responses to trauma. Your reaction sounds much more in line with the Zaphod Beeblebrox reaction to the Total Perspective Vortex, or the song Main Character by Will Wood. I mean not implying you’re egotistical like those characters, but similar in being flattered by it. You know, most people don’t know if their life has a purpose, but knowing you’re the literal main character of existence could be a pretty kicking deal depending on how you roll with it.

[jrueships]

taking lil notes on the sauce getting a tat stream.... will be reblogging with more bcs this video is fucking long as shit plus with me always pausing to write whatever nonsense i find funny? yea, idk if ill be able to get thru this all lmao 😭 but yea this will just be lil blurbs rewritten n commented on as i watch on one device and take notes on another like a lil movie major or smthin LMAO. To shorten typing time, Sauce will be SG and tat man will just be K as his real name is Kyle. ok? ok

SG, impatient & cocky, trying to show out 4 the stream like a little loser: ay cmon bruh im ready 😤!!🤘🏿 *goes to lay down on the jets styled?? tatting bed??? idk what that is i don't get tats.. i just know they probably fucked on it cus sauce winced when he had to sit down LMAO. went from ay bruh im ready to EUAGH 😫!! Eh 😣😖!! in a millisecond LMFAO*

K: *checks himself out on camera for a split second*

K: *very polite to the stream's viewing. Apparently has never streamed or got an audience up close n personal during his tat sessions. Only shows the before and after photos so this is a new but very fun experience for him. aww, so cute <3 sauce getting him to try new things!!!! He's nervous about getting the best angles for us and he's always trying his best to please!! ( he's so service top it's Mad. it's MADDENIN!!! ) Sauce dramatic diva demanding hot n s*x fierce reporter mean fake bitch and his quiet polite and personable yet professionally firm, keeping sauce in line when he needs to fulltime cameraman part time bodyguard when the situation gets unexpectedly (or expectedly. Not everyone has Tat man's insanely loyal patience with sauce...) hostile WHEN??? Slowburn We're just workers/he's just my minion to ........... don't ask why we came out of the same bathroom at the same time STFU ?? HELLO??? TAT MAN!!!*

Chat: cook up kyle

Kyle: !! :] !! yea 😺!! im boutta cook 🥰 (HE KEEPS GETTING SO SWEETLY HYPED UP FROM SAUCES LIL AUDIENCE. IT'S SO CUTE LOL)

1:05 (around there idk none of these time stamps will be any accurate bcs i pause late after realizing smthin was funny then guestimate where it started so sorry :( ): sauce walking his big b00bies up in our face jumpscare :/ . To help Kyle zoom the camera per his chats demands. He lowkey high key very anxious and micromanaging abt kyle using his camera equipment lol. He just loves telling people what to do but also that shit is probably very expensive. But cmon sauce. Kyle the cameraman's got it!!! HE EVEN HAS THE PERFECT CAMERAMAN NAME LIKE?? Let him take care of you bbygirl ..😼

Sauce once again (a bit more gingerly this time) sits himself on his jets style seat thing and let's out a little cry of pain when his ass hits it??? sauce these bttm allegations are BEATING ur ASS lmao????

Kyle does what sauce was about to do for him and sauce kinda :/// >:( 😰😰😠. Sauce try to go five seconds without micromanaging challenge impossible. Complains about chat being able to see his facial expressions being too close up now and how he won't be able to fuck with Kyle no more cus of it cus they'll make shit is weird. Kyle simply responds ' That's love 🙂. '

Sauce goads the chat asking if he should end stream. Kyle at first thinks maybe he isn't cameramanning right and gets a little nervous/sad at disappointing sauce but quickly catches onto the strategy and joins in on the bait. The chat take it with a chorus of Nos. Girlboss sauce malewife Tat man media powercouple ftw?

2:58, K: wait turn ur head a lil bit? *Sauce looks at him* no, other way *sauce looks away, exposing neck to him and pre-ink*

K admires his work. Shows it off to the chat, tells them he's getting them right. Zooms in on sauce's neck

SOMEBODY SAID 'L NIPPLE' IN THE CHAT WHAT???? Chat language is so.... beautiful 😭

'Stop being a lil girl take the pain like a man'????? Yall sure this is twitch and not p*rnhub ??? tf?

Kyle zooms in. Chat: "glad to get the nipple off the page" HELP. my thoughts exactly

Kyle tries hiding sauces face with his zooms bcs he knows sauce was self conscious about his expressions lmao. Chat, instantly, and these are different people too. Everyone is a sadist here apparently. My kinda people 😼: 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE FR' 'HIS FACE BRO WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE' 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE IF HE CRIES'

3:38 Sauce, reading the chat bcs if he doesn't have attention that he can feel for five seconds he explodes and dies: is my face in there ? <- literally just whined about not wanting his face seen bcs he'd get weird comments and ruin his very heterosexual very platonic relationship with tat man. But is now turning his whole tune around for some shred of people pleasing attention omg 🙄 poo fimbly 😑

K: nah they be clownin 😿.. *just wants to protect him*

Sauce agrees a bit then quickly changes subject to compliment himself.

Sauce notices camera needs shifting so he tries but Kyle's on it before he can. Sauce keeps trying anyways until eventually the needles settle him slougish

5:10 chat tells them to zoom out but sauce defends his cameraman: AINT NO ZOOM OUT 😾😾!! HE TRYNA GIVE YOU THE UPCLOSE LOOKS !!

Kyle zooms out anyways

Sauce whines about his nipple lol

Sg: yall weird af 😑 Yall tryna see my nipple or smthin 🤨? *incredulous look to camera*

K: FREE THE NIP!!!!! <- reading off chat, sadly

THE CHAT BULLIED HIM INTO HIDING HIS BOOBS LMAO. He got a blanket 😭 so now he's gonna be with another man... while under a blanket ? um. sauce I think this is pretty lose lose if u ask me .

Kyle wearing those black tattoo gloves gently touching sauces neck.... soft dom and not even trying to hide it 🤨?

Chat: stop moaning 😐

Sauce: my bad bruh 😔

Someone: get the tissues ready (????)

Sg: in da trenches 😼. in da trenches 😼

Someone in chat: sauce do u like when men fuck u? ( 🤔.. it's a fair ask 😳.)

Chat: the right side of my neck hurted the most (average sauce fan iq, im afraid )

Chat: SAUCE BABY START TWERKING

( now im just finding funny chat stuff cus all sauce doing rn is trying to not cry by randomly singing along to the music and kyle is working)

Chat trying to plot lies on kyle by spamming kyle messed up smthin so sauce can get worried lmao

9:40: around there, maybe a bit later, sauce starts groaning and cursing more

Chat: Sauce is it hard

Sauce asks how many people watching bcs u know he looooves an audience. Kyle doesn't know how to check so he has to stop and ask the chat

Kyle: Seven- ..... 776? 800? a thousand? man idk :(. yall play too much >:( yall play too damn much 🙄! ... i fuck with yall tho >:)

Chat trying to gaslight sauce into thinking Kyle's actually tatting a dick on his neck

I've been skipping or doing other stuff during some of the tatting. Sauce got up to try and figure out some twitch function? Mic suppression? idk. He lowkey stalling lol.

Kyle starts asking what the chat been saying around 31:40, curious.

Sauce and Kyle mumble to songs internmentedly lol

33:25 around there kyle raps to a song he rlly likes. Sauce adlibs it's cute

PAUSING THIS AT 35:10. We basically got an hour left in this jawn. YALL WE WATCHED ALOT IM PROUD!!!! OK im leaving this here for now, reblogging l a ter maybe even finishing it idk? I just need this shit sent cus im a lil nervous if it'll even load... this was a lotta work 😭 all for tatman and sauce interactions damn... ion even know this man's last name .. i need to go do strong people things now BYE see yall soon hopefully

[auroragehenna]

AI-less Whumptober

Day 8 Panic attacks, dissociation, seizure

TW/CW: Trauma trigger, dehumanization? Somewhat? Special whumper x whumpee dynamic, brief mention of death Word count: 1083 words

Another tavern. Another room and another night without privacy. For the millionth time on their journey Tierney wished her master curse would work faster and the woman would just drop dead.

“Oh stop glaring daggers and settle down, I’m tired.”, Zestia said, noticing the Tiefling’s gaze and rolling her own eyes.

Tierney whispered an elvish insult under her breath as she turned around to take off her bags and Armor.

 Not quiet enough.

“What did you say?!”, she heard Zestia’ voice from behind her, she sounded out of breath.

Tierney turned around, confused. And then she saw that Zestia had her hand on her rapier. She made a few quick steps back and went for her own dagger. But it wasn’t there. Of course. That damn hypnosis! So she went into defensive stance instead. But something was weird, Zestia wasn’t mad. She didn’t want to attack. She was...scared. “Okay what is going on?”

“What did you say?”

“My…My insult?”

“Yes! How do you know that!?”

“My father taught me.”

“Your father was an elve?!”, Zestia choked out, gripping her rapier even tighter, knuckles white. Tierney took a composed breath, she focused and replaced her pointed ears with fluffy sheep ears and tried to hide her wings and well as possible. Then she started to speak again: “Okay, deep breaths.” With careful, slow movements she put her hand into her bag and took out a bundle of bound flowers. Lavender and valerian. She stretched her hand out towards Zestia, the other one raised in innocence. “Please smell this. It’s not poison, plus you said yourself you’re immune to poison. Just please smell it, you’re having a panic attack.”

“I don’t need your fucking help!”, Zestia yelled, now shivering.

“Of course not. But smell it. It’s a nice smell either way.”, Tierney tried to convince her. But as Zestia made no sign to meet her halfway she laid the bundle on the table and walked into the corner next to the bed. Sitting on the ground. She tried to seem as little as a threat as possible.

Eventually Zestia moved out of her freeze and slowly walked to the table. “Tell me exactly what kind of plant those are!”, Zestia pressed out.

“Lavender and valerian. Both plants can assist you with calming down. Either by smelling them or by making them into a tea.”

“Why should I trust you.”

“You have better cards if I were to lie.”, Tierney argued and shrugged her shoulders. “But aside from that, you can’t.”

Zestia eyed her a bit longer but then shaking pale hands lifted up the bundle of flowers, and smelled on them. They did smell good, she had to admit. And she didn’t notice anything off. But she definitely didn’t feel calm yet.

“Can I help you now?”, Tierney asked from her corner.

Zestia grumbled but she really wanted to stop panicking. She hated this. All of this. But it would be fine. The Tiefling wouldn’t survive anyway and what she witnessed would die with her. “Fine. But one wrong move and…”

“Sure.”, Tierney answered, getting up and walking towards Zestia. “Okay, my advice would be; sit down. What do you think of that?”

“I don’t like it.”, Zestia answered.

“Okay. Then scratch that. But you’re still hyperventilating. Try to match your breathing to mine, okay? Breathe in for four, hold for seven and then exhale for eight. With me, come on.”, Tierney instructed

Zestia tried to mimic the breathing exercise and noticed that blessedly the light-headedness did grow smaller. “Okay, what’s next?”, Zestia asked, to her displeasure it sounded way less imperious than planned.

“I need you to focus on me whether I want that or not and tell me what animals you see, okay?”

“Uhm, okay?”

For the next few minutes Tierney played her malfunctioning wildshape ability and transformed multiple parts of her body into animal parts. Zestia guessed most of them correct, the snake parts the fastest, and she could feel that she was relaxing a bit more. Now I need you to look at my eyes and not at our hands and feel. Same spiel.

And Zestia did, she felt all the weird textures the Tiefling’s hand turned into. Skin, fur, and scales. Her lip twitched a bit as she felt the scales of snakes gliding under her fingers.

“Can you smell the flowers again?”, Tierney asked and Zestia did.

“Now tell me something positive, whatever it is, that comes to mind first.” I hate my life.

“Something positive…”, Zestia scoffed.

“Yes. Can be anything.”

“I…enjoy being on top of rooftops and playing my lyre. Seeing people slow down and listen.”

“Do you wanna do that now? Or just play in here?”

“I think I can do that.”, Zestia agreed.

“Great, proud of you.”, Tierney said, walked to the bed and let herself flop on it. Shortly after she heard music filling the room. She pulled her legs up to her torso and covered herself with her wing. Then she listened to the music trying to drown her thoughts in it. People always give what they need.

Eventually Zestia walked over to the bed and sat down on it. The Tiefling flinched. Zestia wanted to smile at it but right now she wasn’t in the mood. “Hey, do you have a melody you’d like me to play?”

Tierney held her breath, then she sat up and looked at Zestia. Inquiringly. “I only have a song from my past. From a dear friend. But I don’t want this to be connected to you.”

Zestia nodded awkwardly.

“But thank you for asking. I actually like how you play.”, Tierney admitted. Surprised at herself.

Zestia laughed a little in response: “The irony.”

“Why”

“Because I use the torments I bring upon others for my inspiration.”

Tierney raised her eyebrows and pressed her lips together. She tried to ignore it but then had a better idea. “Then play me mine.”, she demanded.

“What?”, Zestia asked, visibly bewildered.

“Play me mine.”, Tierney insisted.

“Uhm. Alright.”, she eventually agreed and started playing the first notes of the melody. Somehow the sharpest tunes didn’t feel right. And when she looked over the next time the Tiefling had fallen asleep.

Taglist: @yourlocalgaefae33, @princessofhe11 (Zestia is her DnD chararacter), @imnotamurdereripromise

[sizzlyybacon]

FIRST DAY, 9/4/2024, Part 1 (7th)

i woke up at 6:00 A.M. and went to the bathroom with the lights off. after going number one, i went to wash my hands and decided to turn the lights on so i could just see better. (i REALLY regret that choice.) i pumped the soap on my hands and looked up to turn on the faucet and there was a HUGE FUCKING HOBO SPIDER THE SIZE OF MY HAND ON MY TOOTHBRUSH AND IT KEPT TWITCHING AROUND. so i called my dad in to kill it and scrambled out of the bathroom. i made some cup noodles, a sausage patty, and a cup of yogurt for breakfast. i wore my white baggy jeans with a black belt and my nirvana t-shirt over my smore-a-saurus rex long sleeve shirt that i bought to wear to the islandwood camp when we went to the bonfire. i finished up with everything i needed to do and spent the last ten minutes just checking around. my dad asked me if i wanted him to walk me to the bus stop and that it was fine if i said no because he didn't want me to get bullied by the older kids since that's what happened to him in middle school. i didn't know what to say and spent like five minutes juggling around if i should say yes because i DID want him to walk me or if i should say no because i would get bullied. in the end i changed my mind and we walked to the bus stop together. while we were leaving, elise called me multiple times asking me to tell her when i got on the bus since last year my stop was way before hers but this year her dad was saying the bus came at 8:05 A.M., while my schedule said 8:14 A.M. i just shrugged it off and told her i'd tell her when i got on. anyways, my dad thought the bus stop was just on the end of our street but i thought it was across the cross walk since that was where the same stop was last time, plus everybody else was there and i had confirmed with my 6th grader friend serenity (who lives on that corner) and she said that's the right stop. we walked over and it was super awkward and quiet. these two 8th graders josie and destined were talking and laughing up a storm with their friends on their phones so much it was almost like the whole actual friend group was there. the kid closer to me was named alister. i remembered him from he was a year below me in elementary, but i didn't say anything. suddenly a bus came even though we'd only been at the bus stop for like 5 seconds. we look at the number. 489. oof. 2 digits off. then ANOTHER came. 989. 511 digits off 💀 my dad pulled out his phone and a bunch of super crazy photographer poses to take photos of me on the first day. of course, i shriveled away in the corner and hid my face. after laughing about the images so a while, the silence got pretty awkward so my dad decided to leave. i said bye as he ran off back on the cross walk. elise texted me that she was on the bus, so i guess she did get on before me. meanwhile, to the left of me, destined and josie were freaking out because their friends got their old and new schedules mixed up so they thought the bus was supposed to come 14 minutes ago. they were confused and alister and i were too but we just waited it out. soon after, our bus came, but it was.... ACROSS the street. like my dad said. 😒👎. i saw my dad's car pull out the same time the bus did so he was a few cars behind it. he gave me the BIGGEST "i told you so" look. we BOLTED across the street, fumbling over each other as the bus stopped and let us on. i say good morning to the bus driver and thank him. two seconds later i make intense eye contact with elise and she's screaming and giggling and ushering me over. i sit next to elise who is in the second row. she hugs me and we're freaking out about the new bus route and just the first day in general. we're following a route somewhat similar to last year's and we turn to the right to a cafe. there is a HUGE group of kids, most of them being 6th graders. they almost take up 3 whole parking spots. bet that cafe will be mad about the business they lose 😭 since we have to pick up so many different kids who live in so many different areas of our neighborhood the route is just COMPLETELY different.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

DHSHSH sorry if it seems like I’m blowing up your inbox I fr just have shit memory…the way that I forget to add my anti-forgetting measure smh…I always end up leaving my notes open and then when I go back to use it to jot down something else it’s left on what I last wrote and I saw the ask and was like “wait a minute….” LMAO but omg the Mira rizz at it again…I’m glad you’re okay though??? That sounds really crazy LMAO DHSJSH bfb Karasu would’ve come in clutch but hope you’re feeling better now!! Manifesting some better party moments for you….bfb Karasu moment soon….

I’m not that into it either but I remember my feed being FLOODED at some point and all I could think was “god these guys have such atrocious haircuts…!!”

Omg wait snuffy getting aiku a girl…knowing snuffy I can imagine her being almost aikus opposite in terms of dating scene personality (?? I wish I could describe this better) and aikus like haha no way I’d ever actually like her…and then he gets the “oh shit” moment LMAO

SHDHSJS OHHHHH ok thank you for telling me I’ve only ever seen it used within goat LOL some abbreviations/acronyms also just fly over my head…I remember when I first saw you use “icl” I had to look it up LMAOOO but agreed though!!! HAHA RIN STEALING THE IDEA so real…Karasu and Otoya pull up to a reunion/friend meetup and see Hiori looking at a house blueprint and ask why he needs another house and he’s like “I’m trying to profess my undying love”

No because him being in all the nerdy classes is so real…him not realizing his own potential reminds me of the part in the egoist bible where he got confessed to with whiskey bon bons and he can’t tell if it was a prank or not (I wanna know more about that story too omg)

FR id never really thought about aiku period before your idea like…he was kinda just there playing a role in Ubers and the u20 match but tbh i didn’t really pay much attention to him before LOL

- Karasu anon

HAHA NO IT’S OKAY i love when my inbox is full it makes me feel very acknowledged 🤩 so never fear it’s like impossible for me to get annoyed by stuff like that…HAHA mira rizz back at it again but unintentional as always 😓 no fr it was lowkey scary looking back 😳 like in the moment we were way too drunk to be anything but like vaguely confused about why this guy had like flipped a switch and started threatening to call the cops on us (??) but in hindsight we’re probably lucky it didn’t escalate further 😭 it was so stupid too because he was genuinely mad at nothing but yeah what can you do 😫 no because i went to sleep in my makeup too and i woke up the next day like “wow karasu would NEVER let that slide” LMAOAO luckily i am much improved and will try to make up for my lack of writing now 😵 tbh it will probably take a lot for my friends to convince me to go out w them again i honestly don’t enjoy it THAT much i just feel bad always saying no yk plus then i get lowkey emo sitting at home while everyone is out and about

LMAOO no i agree they def have some interesting hairdos in bsd JFKSKS somebody tell kaiser and ness to pack it up and move fandoms 😭 their calling is clearly in whatever is going on in bsd…tbh i have no idea what the plot is because every time someone posts abt it it’s completely different but i’m sure kaiser will find his niche and thrive 💖

NO LITERALLY like snuffy introduces aiku to this quiet girl who’s never had a bf because she’s focusing on herself and wants to wait for “the right person” and aiku is like “LMAOOO LOSER ALERT 😂” and then one day he’s lying in bed about to fall asleep and he’s like “oh shit 😰”…calls an emergency conference with barou lorenzo aryu and sendou (the dream team) and is all “guys what do i do i feel all nervous around her and i don’t think other girls are hot anymore and i think about her before bed and and and—” and barou’s just like “you fucking donkey you have a crush on her 😒😐” HAHAH cue like a month of confused pining on aiku’s part meanwhile the dream team is just like done w his bullshit and snuffy is secretly cackling because it’s all going according to plan…meanwhile the reader is only dating aiku as a favor to snuffy so she doesn’t gaf but slowly he starts winning her over 🤔⁉️ maybe this will be the final entry in oliver aiku’s guide to getting girls like now HE’S the one getting the girl ykwim and there’s just random advice from various blue lockers thrown in there every now and again that mirrors how he helped them in their own universe (like he facetimes sae at one point and sae is like “STFU bro you’re in love w her” and hangs up w zero explanation or he meets up w tabieita and otoya is like “yo if you want to keep her maybe you should try to match her energy” HAHAHA) honestly i’m seeing the vision…i don’t even care about aiku like that he truly was a background character to me but it would be such a good way to wrap up the series even though all of the chapters take place in different universes (the OAEU — oliver aiku extended universe)

i am an abbreviation warrior but if you ever need me to explain one then lmk 😫 i find all of mine on tik tok/by being chronically online but there’s def a lot of times when i need urban dictionary assistance in explaining what i’m looking at LMAO 😭 and YESSSS hiori has like architectural plans laid out in front of him which makes tabieita be like WTF…and technically white butterfly could take place in the cherry tree/seabird universe so theoretically rin and hiori could’ve plotted together on how to “most efficiently” pine for their respective girls 😰 can you imagine like “okay i’m going to hang out on her university campus for an entire week until i see her again” “that COOKS bro i’m going to build her dream house in our hometown and hope she hears about it and comes to visit” “fire idea man 🔥”

omg yeahhh didn’t he get like six diff valentines that were just whiskey bonbons?? lowkey i would consider that a prank too especially as a teenage boy 😭 it’s like confusing to me which characters are and aren’t good looking in canon…like isagi pulled zero bitches pre-bllk and same with bachira and nagi BUT according to nagi’s ln girls do think he’s cute/attractive he’s just REALLY fucking weird so they stay away?? so whenever people are like “nagi’s canonically ugly” i’m like nooo he’s good looking just a freak 💔 and then i think rin is supposed to have gotten a lot of valentines but he rejected all of them…and fucking RAICHI got like 10 valentines ⁉️ wdym raichi got more than KARASU 🤔

100% aiku was just there to show up say random bullshit and then leave 😭 but he may have just made his mark on the miraverse LFGNDKSK honestly top ten greatest comebacks of all time if i end up writing the series

[riverthebooknerd]

guys finding out that easter is this weekend was the worst fucking feeling i'm in tears rn and i need to talk about why because it's killing me

(tws in the tags)

couple weeks back, i got into an argument with my mom. she started yelling at me for a very poor reason and said some shitty things to me that i don't really wanna get into. she never apologized. neither of us have talked about it since. in fact, she's determined to pretend like nothing happened, and has been treating me like normal. i'm still very, very angry with her. i mean, she called me selfish and said that i didn't care about anyone else just because i said that i didn't want to go do something with her after she suddenly sprung it on me (nothing inappropriate/sexual, she's a jerk but not THAT kind of jerk.)

it always hits hard when my mom says shit like that. the last time it happened, i didn't eat for three days because she made a comment about how i was "living in her house and eating her food that she bought with her own hard-earned money." so, it's a weird mix of anger/guilt, because i'm technically an adult (just turned 18 not too long ago), but i am still living in her house for free.

in all honesty, she's the main reason why i hate asking for things. i always try to do things myself because my mom would call me ungrateful and selfish. yada yada, emotional abuse, something something, childhood trauma, yada yada, mommy issues. you get the idea.

but every year on easter, my parents give me and my siblings big baskets of candy- plus, my mom makes a huge dinner.

let me reiterate: i am still mad at my mom. i'm furious. i think that what she said to/about me was completely uncalled for, and i want an apology. she's been trying to act like nothing happened, but i'm not, and everyone can tell.

i don't know what i'm gonna do tomorrow.

plus, my parents want me to go to church with them. i stopped going as soon as i turned 18- i'm not religious, and they've known that for a while. for the most part, they don't push. the last time i went to church was at christmas, because they made a big fuss about my brothers and sister in law going. they're probably going to make a big fuss tomorrow, too, and refusing to go is the kind of thing that my mom yelled at me a couple weeks ago for in the first place.

so, basically, my easter is gonna be fucking miserable. i'm gonna be dragged to church, sit through an uncomfortably long service with a pastor preaching things that i don't believe in, talk to people at church about jesus and salvation (as someone who is VERY noticeably queer) while trying not to clue them in on the fact that i'm an atheist (because then they'll get all "awww poor you, you just need to believe in the lord and your life will get better, you'll burn in hell, why did you turn your back on the lord," etc etc). then, i get to go home and avoid talking to my mom as much as i can during a small family reunion, somehow get through the day without starting another argument or unnecessary drama, because my parents would fucking kill me if i ruin the holiday for them. then i'll have to act all fucking happy and grateful when they give me a bunch of chocolate that i didn't ask for while i got them nothing in return because i'm broke and i don't want to give my mom anything anyways. and THEN i'll have to sit through a long, awkward family dinner, probably being utterly ignored the entire time just like i always am, and force myself to eat enough on my plate that it's not seen as "ungrateful." that's not even mentioning all the underhanded jokes that will most likely be sent my way the whole fucking time.

god. i hate easter.