#plus I’m still getting the hang of painting in this style so choosing colors is just an added 👹 layer jajajajaja

[myokk]

Eloise needs a hug🥺

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

FatGum (Taishiro Toyomitsu) X Chubby! Confectioner/Baker! Reader: Sweets and Treats~

(Description: Woo, I’m so excited for my first story on this account! This inspiration came to me after thinking about our one and only, favorite chubby pro hero and me wanting to see some puppy love for you two. Also, the title says Confectioner/Baker, I want to clarify that Reader isn’t truly a baker but I feel like “Confectioner” wouldn’t reach as large of a crowd as “Baker” would, not a big deal but just FYI. I hope my first fic is enjoyed by those who choose to read, thank you for the support.)

~

Fanfiction Lingo

(Y/N) - Your Name

(H/C) - Hair Color

(E/C) - Eye Color

(F/C) - Favorite Color

~

“Normal speech.”

‘Inner thoughts.’

~

Requester: No One!

Reader Gender: Female (She/Her)

Style of Story: Oneshot // Entirely fluff, a pinning love on both ends, and a happy end to boot! There is one little heartbreak moment, but it’s over in a second.

Word Count: 4.5K Words

WARNING(s): None, unless you see adorable, tooth-rotting fluff as a crime!

~

“Morning, Tammy! Lovely day, isn’t it?” you greeted your employee with a bright smile as she stumbled through the door into your bakery.

She huffed, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes, “Sure, but I’ve hardly been up long enough to notice it. How are you always so peppy this early?” She pointed to the mechanical clock ticking from the left wall that read ‘4:04 AM’. You glanced outside and saw hardly anyone walking through the streets, except the occasional drunkard or lonely soul.

You bashfully shrugged your shoulders, “Well, after years of suffering waking up at three in the morning, you kinda get used to the torment! But, hey, so happy we got the shop far away from the center of the city, you can actually see the sunrise from here!” you tried to help her look on the bright side as you handed her one a cup of one of your homemade coffee brews. She took a sip of the drink and let out a content sigh through her nose, a small, but thankful smile on her face.

“You know, for being a confectioner, you make some pretty solid coffee. What is that?” her eyebrows furrowed as she asked, taking another swig to figure out the secret intense flavor.

You giggled, “That’s probably the nutmeg I added. Is it good?”

“More like fantastic, (Y/N). Trying out new recipes again?” she asked over her shoulder, hanging up her light jacket that protected her from the early morning breeze while grabbing her apron. Though, it being July in Japan, she probably wouldn’t need it again for a while.

“Yeah, I think this one will really please the early risers. It gives a special sort of kick to the taste, don’t you think?” you asked while gently sliding open the glass case that held all of the beautifully decorated pastries, grabbing a pair of tongs and a small floral ceramic plate, carefully placing a fresh Apple Strudel onto the plate, and setting it down on the counter.

“Totally. Hey, can I have a--,” Tammy stopped mid-sentence as she turned around to see the delectable treat already waiting for her.

“Your breakfast awaits, m’lady~,” you slurred out in a fake British accent with a cheesy smirk and a dramatic bow.

She scoffed, “You dork. Am I really that predictable?” she asked, scarfing down the pastry in a matter of seconds as she leaned on the counter.

“Yeah, you kinda are,” you joked as she playfully shoved your plush side.

“You know,” she continued, looking down at the gooey food, “It’s a shame you aren’t more popular with the people. You have a great location, an amazing personality and work staff, if I do say so myself, and don’t even get me started on the incredible stuff you make,” she praised.

“Oh, stop it, Tammy. You’re gonna make me blush,” you flushed from her sincere words, “Besides, I’ve only been open for two weeks, it’s going to be slow for awhile. It’ll ramp up eventually.”

“Yeah, I guess, but you can’t deny that your baked goods are better than most of the others in the country! One day, when people get their heads out of their asses, these little gifts of magic are going to make you RICH!” she threw her lanky airs up into the air and around your shoulders. She spun your smaller frame in a circle while the two of you laughed.

“Ha! Yeah yeah, I know! Now, stop your messing around and come help me fill the rest of these Cream Horns.” you concluded while you pat her taller shoulder. She groaned at the request but gave you a tiny nod. Tammy turned around while tying her short, brown hair into a messy bun, readying herself for the busy day ahead. You smiled while she retreated to the kitchen but before you went to follow her you decided to look out the window again.

Shuffling your legs over to the windows, you got a clear view of the rising sun and all its glory, the hints of yellow, orange, pink, red, and even blue from the night's previous dark veil still clung onto the brightening sky. Somehow you had this weird feeling that today something life changing was going to happen. You didn’t know if you should be excited or worried, but you decided to push those thoughts aside and continue on to the back of the shop where you could already hear the clutter and clang of falling pans, no doubt Tammy’s handy work.

Oh, if you only knew how right your hunch was…

~

~ Timeskip to a little later in the day and a P.O.V change to FatGum ~

~

“How much longer do I have for patrol?” I asked myself, pulling out my phone to check the time. The time read ‘9:12 AM’ and I huffed, still a couple more hours to go. Putting the device back in my pocket with a grimace but quickly faked a smile as I continued down the bustling street. The active community, excited civilians, and eager children usually never fails to put a smile on my face, but today everything just felt like a drag. I was sluggish, unfocused, and I couldn’t understand why. I shook my head, get your head in the game, Taishiro. You don’t have time to let your mind wander on duty.

After what seemed like hours, but was more than likely only 15 minutes, I felt my stomach let out a rumbling growl which made me groan. I stopped walking on the sidewalk and took a second to consider the situation, wandering the city for a couple of hours with nothing too exciting to do really works up an appetite, and I do need to keep up my strength. I’m a hero after all, and denying myself is like ignoring my civic duty to protecting the people! At this point, I’ll take any excuse to get out of this pointless shambling. But the REAL question is, what to get? I glanced around the street and noticed a few shops further down the block that looked to be food related. I smirked, perfect.

I wove through the few people occupying the area, past a few excited teenagers who asked for autographs, and eventually made it to the shops. Looking around I saw some insurance shops, an enticing Pad Thai sit down, and few others, but the one that caught my eye was a cutesy, (F/C)-painted bakery named, “Queen of Tarts”. Chuckling at the interesting name choice, I looked inside the establishment through the plexiglass windows.

The inside carried a light, fluffy atmosphere, pastel colored walls combining with the checkered tile floor caused a small smile out of me. A few small tables with delicate iron chairs here and there, but the real prize were the copious amounts of sweets that were displayed in the glass cases. Each were different colors, sizes, but they all looked delicious. Feeling my stomach grumble, I grabbed the door handle, flung it open, and walked into the scrumptious smelling shop. After walking in, the tiny jingle of bells alerting the workers of my presence, I finally saw the most stunning sweet of all.

“Hi, welcome to the Queen of Tarts, how may I help you today?” the gorgeous woman at the counter asked but it didn’t register in my brain because I was already lost in thought. Her adorable (H/C) hair framed her face to show her soft, chubby cheeks, her eyes glistened in the sunlight, and her smile, oh, it completely lit the room with its radiance. Curves in all the right places, I felt my cheeks heat up as I let out a nervous laugh, cursing my inner self for not holding it together. Seriously, I can face the nastiest of villains but throw one pretty lady in front of me and I fall apart? Fantastic. Realizing I wasn’t answering, I quickly stepped forward and cleared my throat.

“Uh, yeah. Hi,” ‘Wow, so smooth, Taishiro,’ I criticized in my head, “I...haven’t seen this store here before, you new?” I offered a smile, which she returned tenfold, making me even more flustered.

“Yes, actually! I set up shop here only a few weeks ago, finally settling in with the hustle and bustle of city life.” she finished, leaning in closer against the marble counter with her arms crossed.

“City life? You didn’t grow up here?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she shrugged, “Grew up on more of the countryside style of life. I love the city though, do you?”

“Yeah, you gotta get used to it when you spend all your time protecting it.” I let a hint of boasting attitude out, hoping she’d realize who I am.

“Ha, I hear ya! I do my own share of ‘protecting’ around here too. Well, if you count making goodies, that is.” she giggled, standing up and walking over to the glass containers. I deflated a little, guess that wasn’t going to work this time. I shuffled over to where she was standing and looked down at the treats they offered.

“So, kind stranger, what is it you’ll be having?” she asked after a minute of me inspecting the pastries. The problem with not being picky about what you eat, means there are tons of more options than that of others, and when all the items look equally as delectable, you get a little overwhelmed. Plus, the fact that a beautiful woman whom I would very much like to not embarrass myself in front of is waiting for my answer doesn’t help.

I gulped, “I don’t know, they all look amazing. What’s your favorite?” I asked, hoping to know a little more about her.

“Oh, gosh, let me think…” she pouted, resting her head on the palm of her hand while looking deep in thought at the treats. The adorable crease of her eyebrows scrunched together, the tip of her tongue poking out in concentration, her lovely, curvalicious body...that’s it, I’m so screwed.

“I think I’d go for the Chocolate Cream Puff,” her answer drawing both me and her out of our distracted states, “My dad taught me years ago this amazing chocolate ganache recipe and I drizzle that all over the tops of homemade pastry puffs and the whipped filling, ugh! It’s to die for, seriously!” she finished, a sparkle in her (E/C) eyes that fueled the fire in my gut. She spoke about food just as passionately as I did! She’s perfect.

Without thinking, I quickly said, “I’ll take ten.”

~

~ (Y/N) P.O.V ~

~

“Alright, there you go, 10 Chocolate Cream Puffs. Have a wonderful day, sir!” I said with a bright smile.

“Please, call me Taishiro. And you are..?” he asked.

I flushed, I’m such a klutz, “(Y/N), pleasure to meet you, Taishiro. I hope you enjoy them and come back to visit m...us! Come visit us again!” I hastily fixed my wording.

As he smiled and waved goodbye, I rolled the tension out of my shoulders and breathed a sigh of relief. It’s okay, he was nice...and cute...and...really handsome. Wow, I am I sweating?

“HOLY CRAP!” I jumped as I heard Tammy squeal out behind me, I spun around to look at her standing in the doorway to the back, watching the leaving guest with an awestruck face.

“What?! Where’s the fire?!” I shouted running up to her, grabbing the edge of my apron.

“(Y/N), look at me,” she grabbed my shoulders and forced me to stare into her hazel eyes, “Do you know who that was?”

I shrugged my shoulders as best as I could under her vice grip, “A customer, right?”

“A custom--ugh, curse you for not keeping up with the media,” she yelled while flinging her arms to the sky in exasperation before shoving them back on my shoulders, “(Y/N), that wasn’t just any old customer! That was the FatGum!”

I blinked, “Uh, who?”

“Aarrghh! The rank 58 Pro Hero in Japan! What did you say to him?!” I paled as her words sunk in. My legs felt like jelly and I wanted to lie on the floor and die of embarrassment as she raved on about my ignorance.

‘Oh, so I’ve fallen for a Pro Hero. Awesome.’

~

~ Timeskip to a few weeks later, same P.O.V ~

~

Who knew meeting a Pro Hero and potentially having a crush on him could be so amazing? After Taishiro, who is apparently a hero named FatGum, left the store, he personally posted on his main platform of media about the shop and how incredible the desserts were! Of course, to get a compliment from a hero who's Quirk is literally based around food, who’s eaten hundreds of thousands of different dishes, for him to specifically point out your’s brought the media swarming. Business went from nearly dead to tons of people coming in at all open hours! It was fantastic, and the handsome gentleman kept his promise of continually coming in and buying heaps of pastries.

You sighed, leaning against the marble counter after helping a few beautiful ladies buy some tarts, watching their desirable, attractive forms leave the shop and walk past the window. Looking around the busy lounge area, all of the customers were stunning, unique, and most of all thin. You glanced down at yourself, insecurities filling your mind about your appearance and unsurprisingly flickering back to the man plaguing your thoughts. You poked the chub, would he? No. He probably already has someone and even if he didn’t, why would he go for you? You’re a no one to him, someone who just sells him baked goods to fuel his Quirk, nothing more.

“Hey, boss man, what’s up?” Asher, a friend and employee of yours, asked while spinning you away from the counter to face him, drawing Tammy’s attention from her place on the stool behind the counter.

“Oh, it’s nothing, Asher. Just distracted is all, I’m fine!” you sighed and faked a smile.

Asher pulled a skeptical look and without looking at Tammy he said, “She’s thinking about him again, isn’t she?”

Tammy, like it was her sixth sense to pick up on gossip, flung herself to Asher’s side with the same skeptical look, “Yep, it’s so obvious.”

“I-It is?!” you yelped, pulling your hands up to your cheeks to hide your growing blush.

“What are we gonna do about them, Tam?” he asked, still not looking at her but instead grabbing your chin and tiling your head from side to side to inspect you.

 “I don’t know what else to do, Ash. He so likes her back but both are too scared to make the first move. Truly a dilemma.” she said, twirling a lock of your (H/C) hair.

“Wait, he does?! How do you know?” you pleaded but they weren’t paying any attention to you anymore, making you puff out your pudgy cheeks in frustration. Opting to ignore them, you listened to the aimless chatter of the seating area. The ambiance of the confectionery made you smile because it was exactly how you’d pictured it as a little girl, the sweet smells, the laughter, it finally felt like home after all these years in the making. All your hard work was paying off in the end. Suddenly, the ringing bells of the door opening drew your attention. Glancing back, you caught a glimpse of a familiar yellow and orange clad figure whose head almost touched the ceiling. You gasped and shoved your friends off of you and to the backroom, spun around, and greeted your favorite customer with a bashful smile.

“Taishiro! How lovely to see you again,” but you quickly noticed it wasn’t just him. Two teenage boys, one with striking red hair and a warm smile and the other trembling and hiding inside of his cloak’s hood, were by FatGum’s side, which made you ask, “And who is this with you?”

“(Y/N), this is Eijirou Kirishima and Tamaki Amajiki, they are training under me for hero internships. I wanted to bring them here so they could try your wicked sweets!” he finished, making you blush even harder.

“Aw, that’s so sweet of you, FatGum! It’s a pleasure to meet you, boys.” you finished, holding out your hand for them to shake.

The red-headed boy, Kirishima, shook your hand with a gentle, but strong grip, “Same here! I’ve heard all about this place because of the news, sorry I couldn’t come sooner!”

“Oh, that’s alright, and it’s wonderful to meet you, Tamaki.” you held out your hand, but all you got from him was a curt nod as he shrunk further into his suit.

“You’ll have to forgive, Amajiki, he’s sort of shy.” Taishiro chuckled, rubbing his hand behind his head.

You pulled your hand back with an understanding smile, “No problem, I totally get social anxiety. Happens to the best of us, I’m afraid.”

“No way,” you suddenly heard Tammy mumble behind you, no doubt to Asher, “He brought his kids to see her. Did not expect that. I respect the flex.”

“Isn’t that a little far for first base material?” Asher whispered back to her. You proceeded to shoot them a terrifying glare and subtly kick both of them in the shins, a symbol for them to scram. They gulped and hobbled off to the back to avoid your wrath while you huffed and whipped your hair out of your face with a smile.

“Anyways, since the three of you are here, what would you boys like? It’s on the house!” you confidently boasted.

Taishiro gasped, “(Y/N), no. I can’t do that to you, we’ll pay.”

“Ah, ah, ah, Taishiro. You are by far the most paying of customers and since you’re my favorite of all I want to give this to you. Call it, uh, thank you present for all the publicity you’ve given my store! I couldn’t have made it this far without you.” you grinned.

He sighed and, though it could have been your imagination, blushed a little, “At least let me pay for my portion. I get considerably more than them.”

“Nope, it’s already been decided! Kirishima, what would you like?” you changed the topic before Taishiro could argue with you again. He rolled his eyes, clear girl.

“Hmm,” Kirishima thought, “Do you have anything with strawberries?”

“I got just the thing for you. How about a Strawberry Turnover?” you directed him over to the case with the pastry. He took one glance and excitedly nodded his head and you smiled, grabbed the sweet with a clean pair of tongs, placed it on a napkin, and handed it over to the young man. He grinned and shoveled the pastry into his mouth without hesitation. 

“Thanks so much, Miss (Y/N)! It’s delicious!” he praised through a mouth full of food, making you giggle at his silliness. Walking back over to the registrar, you saw Tamaki looking at you. When he was caught, he gasped, quickly spun around, and hid himself away from you by pressing into FatGum’s body.

“What would you like, Tamaki?” you patiently asked. Taishiro looked at you with doubt and started saying something but you quickly shushed him and continued to wait for the teen’s answer.

Knowing that you weren’t going to give up, Tamaki quietly mumbled out, “D-D-Do you...have anything with...b-black raspberry? I-If you don’t that’s fine too, I-I didn’t mean to sound too rude or--”

“I believe I do,” you quickly interrupted so he didn’t go into a spiraling haze of self doubt, “Would a Black Raspberry Lychee Cake suffice, Tamaki?”

“Y-Yes, Miss (Y/N)...” he sighed in relief, glancing at you with tears in his eyes. You gave him a reassuring smile and grabbed the treat for him, handing it to FatGum so he could hold on to it for Tamaki.

“And now, what’ll you have, kind stranger?” you grinned as he chuckled.

“I’ll take my usual then, 10 Chocolate Cream Puffs, please.” he concluded while giving a sweet grin.

You snarked, “You always get the same thing every time, Taishiro. Don’t you wanna try anything else? I promise they’re poisoned.” you smirked.

He quirked an eyebrow at you, “Are you sure about that?” he joked.

“Taishiro! What kind of business would I be if I poisoned all my guests?” you laughed at him.

“Okay, okay, I’ll try something different, ma’am. Do you have anything with pineapple?” he asked with curiosity.

“You betcha. How does a Pineapple Poke Cake sound, sir?” you interrogated. You saw stars glisten in his eyes and you giggled at his excitement.

“How many?” you joked.

“I’ll take 12!” he concluded, blissfully staring off into space.

You packaged up his request in a cutesy (F/C) box with your confectionery’s logo and, biting your lip in apprehension, decided that if he wasn’t going to make his move then you would. You quickly wrote down your phone number on top of the box in Sharpie and signed off your name with a small black heart. As you finished the lettering you stared at the box and thought about your previous insecurities. There was still time, still time to take out the pastries, put them in a new box, and forget the whole number thing ever happened.

“Hey, don’t you dare take out those treats and put them in a new box, you hear me, girl?!” you heard a tiny male voice whisper above you. Startled, you looked up to see Tammy and Asher peeking through the window that let the customers see into the back of the bakery to watch the baking happen. You glared at the two, so they had been watching you try and confess your feelings to the fluffy hero in a discreet way.

“What am I supposed to do? What if he doesn’t like me and all the signs I’ve been getting from him are me making up a love story that is never going to happen between us?! What if by doing this I ruin our relationship and he makes sure the business tanks?! This is my life's work and I’m putting it on the line for a stupid chance at love!” you whisper yelled at them, the familiar feeling of fear and pain coursing through your system from previous failed love confessions.

“You really think a sweet man like that is going to make your life’s dream completely fall to pieces?” Tammy questioned and you exhaled, shaking your head ‘no’.

“Then go out there and get yo mans! You have to at least try and snatch that, I have to see my OTP become canon!” she sent a determined glare at you, grabbed the box, shoved it in your hands, spun you around, and pushed your forward. You stumbled and almost tripped onto the floor but caught yourself on the marble counter. Standing up tall, you took a deep breath in and urged your legs to move forward. Getting to the registrar, you smiled at Taishiro and the boys and handed over the box to FatGum after giving a subtle cough.

“Thank you for everything, Taishiro, you’ve helped me in ways you could never imagine. Now, I hope you boys come back sometime!” you spoke to the teens, Kirishima grinning at you with his shark-like teeth.

“Will do, Miss (Y/N)! I couldn’t stay away from this place even if I tried, your desserts are the BOMB!” he laughed, punching his fists together in excitement.

“...Thank you, Miss (Y/N).” Tamaki shyly whispered, giving you half a grin before cowering away once more.

“Don’t mention it, loves! Now, Taishiro, remember that I said this is on the--whoa! Are you okay?” you asked the man. His face was almost as red as his student’s hair, his eyes wide and unfocused as he stared at the top of the box, where your number neatly sat. You gulped, maybe it was the wrong decision after all.

Waving a nervous hand in front of Taishiro’s face, it seemed to break him from his spellbound state as he glanced at your eyes, “Are you...feeling okay, Taishiro?”

He looked at you with a shaken gaze as he laughed off his nerves while saying, “Y-Yeah! Just, um...yeah...you...let’s go, boys! Gotta get back to the patrol! Bye, (Y/N)!” he said while ushering the confused boys away from the counter and to the door. You felt your heart shatter into dozens of pieces as you turned your head down to conceal your sorrowed expression from the rest of the lounge area. You felt your eyes wet with tears but you used the sleeve of your white button down you dry them, you have to stay strong. At least you got it off your chest. Sniffling, you turned your head back up only to see FatGum’s face, only he was suddenly a lot more chiseled in the face and body and wow, did it just get hot in here?

“I forgot one thing.” he said with a flustered smile. You, less heartbroken then before just more confused, shrugged your shoulders in question. He then grasped your shoulders, tilted his head to the side, and planted a loving and firm kiss on your right cheek. You felt your face melt into a puddle of red as he held the kiss for a few seconds longer than anticipated but eventually released your cheek, staring back at you with the same expression as you.

“Did you really think I was going to leave without paying you back, cream puff?” he chuckled with a grin.

“I-I, um…” no longer sorrowed, your brain couldn’t catch up with the fact that he most definitely liked you back.

“Heh, you’re cute when you’re flustered for me. I’ll text you later, okay? Keep on the look out for me!” he said, backing up from the counter, only to grow immensely in size as he returned to the state you had met the hero in. He waved goodbye as he walked back to Kirishima who was practically bouncing off the walls in his excitement.

“Congratulations on the relationship, Miss (Y/N)!” the teen sang out as the three of them left the store to patrol the streets for their hero duties once again.

The entire restaurant was silent as they watched your chubby form turn into a puddle of emotions and ditzy giggles, the only thing that was heard was a loud, “YES! IT’S CANON, BABY!”

~

~

~ The End ~

[lia-jones]

Growing Pains - Chapter One - Despite You, I’ll Be Happy

I watched as the sunlight played with the curtains at the office. It revealed the dust floating in the air, reflecting itself in it, making it seem like little angels had come to visit. For two whole seconds, I allowed myself to believe that was true, and that I was being blessed, protected. But I turned again to my darkest thoughts, and those were telling me I was beyond any blessing. I was broken, and only a miracle could put the pieces all together into something that made actual sense. My therapist woke me up from my stupor.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Dust and angels.” I replied, not thinking too much before I answered. She would find a hidden meaning in my words, no matter what I said. “That I’m beyond repair.”

“Andrea, what happened does not define you. You need to remember that at all times. It can severely injure you, physically and emotionally, but it can’t change you. Not unless you let it.”

I laughed bitterly. Of course it defined me. Emotional and verbal abuse is all about changing the conception of one’s self, to tear it to pieces, to make it drown it bloody sorrow. And even if I could disengage from that hopeless feeling, even if I could be stronger, which I was clearly not able to, there was a mark, hidden yet apparently visible to the public eye, the one of the weak battered girlfriend. That mark was carved in me, unwilling to heal and fade away.

Even if I could overcome abuse, even if I could become stronger, I still had to deal with that. Always having someone look at me like I was going to break at any minute, walking on eggshells around me, developing feelings of pity and compassion, instead of respect. That defined me and defined how the world saw me. The abuse I had gone through was my Mark of Cain.

“Are you still going to your Krav Maga lessons? Are they helpful?”

“Yes.”

“How do you feel when you go? Do you feel empowered?”

“Mostly angry. Infuriated.”

“And why do you feel that?”

“I wish I could punch him instead. I wish I could do to him what he did to me. I want payback.”

“Do you know what’s the best payback you can have?” My therapist came closer to me, and held my hand. Was it pity? The question made my eyes water.

“Death penalty?” I joked, mostly to disguise my incoming tears.

“You make him see he’s meaningless. Be happy, despite him.” She paused, like she was carefully choosing the words, and then she softly smiled at me. “One of these days, Andrea, you'll see he can no longer hurt you, you have taken that power from him, but that will only happen when you allow yourself to be happy again. I’m sure that you will find amazing things about yourself, things you didn’t even know existed.”

I let one or two tears leave my eyes, and no more than that. I was tired of crying.

“Your mother says you got accepted for an internship at a prestigious investment company overseas, is that right?”

“Yes, in Loveland, for Loveland Financial Group. I need an internship to finish my doctorate.”

“So, when are you going?”

“I’m not sure I should do it.” Just the very thought of embarking on that sort of journey made my stomach tighten.

“Why not?”

“Not very interested. Not excited. Not ready.”

“I think you should. You keep complaining people look differently at you here. In Loveland, people won’t know. It could give you the space you need to heal. Plus, it will get your mother out of your hair.”

Later that night, I took from my bag the green notebook I had bought on my way home. Ceremoniously, I opened it, and wrote on the first page in red letters.

Dear asshole,

Thank you for making me not care for my life at all. I hope you fall on your face and break every beautiful porcelain tooth you have.

Fuck you,

Andrea

I paused, looking at the venom I had spread on that page. I thought about what the therapist said about moving to Loveland. A brand new start. A place where I could be just Andrea, and not Andrea the abused girlfriend. Or Daniel’s girlfriend, the girlfriend of the boy wonder. I could prove to myself and others that I was strong enough to overcome it. And my family would be relieved to see me do something for myself, to start a new life, and they could finally relax. I could make them proud.

These thoughts sparked something inside of me that I couldn’t figure out at the moment, maybe it was hope. I took the notebook and wrote a few more words, closing it with determination. On the first page, in red, one could read:

Dear asshole,

Thank you for making me not care for my life at all. I hope you fall on your face and break every beautiful porcelain tooth you have.

Fuck you,

Andrea

PS: Now just sit and watch while I turn it all around. I get to be happy, even if it is in spite of you.

________________________________________________________________

Two months later

My phone rang while I was brushing my teeth, getting ready to leave the house. I pushed my toothbrush to the side of my cheek and checked the phone. It was my mother.

I ran to the bathroom sink to spit the toothpaste and rinse my mouth before I answered the phone.

“Andy, you’re on speaker. Getting ready for the interview?” My mother asked. I could clearly hear my father and my brother in the background.

“Josh is there too?” I asked, surprised. It should be around 11 pm on the previous day in Portugal.

“Yes, and Cristina too. She’s just putting Ana to sleep. So tell me, what are you wearing? Did you see the outfit I packed for you?”

I looked at the teal neck boat dress on my bed, smiling.

“Yes, Mom, thank you.”

“I think it will go really well with your peacock…”

“Bracelet, yes, I know. It’s right here.” I twirled the peacock pendant in my hands. The peacock’s wings were adorned with blue and green crystals, that glistened in the sunlight coming from my window as I moved it.

“Good luck, honey. We all love you. We are so very proud of you.” I could hear my mother’s throat catch in this last sentence.

“Sure. I love you guys.”

“LOVE YOU, ANDY!” I could hear my father and brother from afar.

After hanging up, I put on my dress and went to the bathroom to fix my hair. I had wished I had straight hair my whole life, because my hair had a life of its own. I loved the color, it was light brown with natural golden highlights, but it wasn’t exactly curly and it wasn’t exactly straight, it had these soft waves that would look nice on most days, making beautiful curls at the tips, but there were other times my hair would just decide to stay frizzy, no matter what I did. That day was a frizzy day, so I just made a ponytail and applied some styling foam, hoping it would be at least acceptable, and not look like a broom.

After careful consideration, and reminding myself of the hot weather outside, I applied almost no makeup, just the enough amount to conceal the dark circles under my eyes. Some lip balm, and that was it.

When I arrived at LFG, the hall was full of people, probably interns like me. I went to the reception to give my name.

After a while, a man with brown hair and brown eyes framed with glasses came to me, shaking my hand.

“Good morning, my name is Henry Goldman. Are you Miss Jones?” I nodded with a smile. “Good. Please follow me to the conference room. The CEO will meet us there.”

We both sat in a huge conference room with a big glass table, with some silver ornaments decorating the center of it. It had a professional and minimalistic decoration, the floor was made of black marble, and the walls behind and in front of me were made of frosted glass. There was a huge screen on one of the other walls, that were painted in light grey, probably to show documents during meetings, while the other wall bared LFG logo, in silver letters.

Goldman sat across from me, slightly to my right side, holding some documents. We sat awkwardly in silence, while he flipped through the pages. After a while, he started to fidget. Seeing him so nervous, my palms started to sweat, and I took a tissue from my purse to clean them, trying to calm my nerves. I didn’t really know what I was so worried about, I had already been accepted, this was just a formality.

“Mr. Lee should be arriving at any moment.” He said, nervously.

“I can wait. Don’t worry.” I used the calmest voice I could muster, to see if I could make him relax. The man was making me jittery.

“Actually…” He got up, seemingly unsure that he should. “I better check…. Could you hold on for a second…” He opened the door and looked outside, but saw something that made him quickly shut the door and bolt to his chair. I remembered when I was a child and the class was rowdy, waiting for the teacher in the classroom, and how we ran to our seats when we saw the teacher approaching. I bet my life that’s how I looked like back then.

A tall man entered the room, wearing a charcoal suit, black shirt and silver tie. His expression was grim and cold. Without a word, he sat next to Goldman, facing me. Goldman got up, smiling widely, and introduced us:

“Andrea, this is Victor Lee, our honored CEO. Victor, this is Andrea Jones, our new-”

“Quit the idle pleasantries and get me some coffee.”

I was surprised by his tone and quick dismissal, but tried to maintain a neutral face. Goldman turned to me to ask if I wanted coffee, looking more agitated than before. I shook my head immediately. By that time, the CEO had already grabbed the files Goldman left on the table and was skimming through them silently, his expression impatient.

I was left alone with him, trying not to look very nervous. I started playing with the peacock on my wrist.

“Why LFG?” The CEO asked, breaking the silence and my trance. I noticed his eyes for the first time, wondering what color they were exactly. Black? Grey?

“I’m sorry?” I was clearly distracted and wasn’t expecting him to start like this. He sighed and asked again, his voice dripping annoyance.

“Why did you choose to apply here?” He spoke purposefully slowly, like I was too dumb to understand. “You’re from Portugal, why choose a place so distant?”

I tried not to roll my eyes at his insult, acting the most professional I could. Remember to relax, Andrea. Believe in your qualities. The job is already yours.

“LFG is one of the most prestigious and high quoted investment companies on the market almost since its birth. I already have experience in investment companies, now I want to learn from the very best. The distance is just a happy coincidence. I appreciate the change of scenery.”

His grey eyes turned to my brown ones, holding the gaze fiercely.

“Do you know why LFG holds such a high place on the market?”

“I can imagine. High standards, an eye for business, and hard work.” I said, trying to look confident.

“You have an impeccable resume, so much that I had to confirm its veracity. Every teacher and employee I have contacted has only the best to say about you, how hard-working and bright you are. And I am pleased with your attitude. I just need a last piece of information.”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Last year, you seemed to be inactive. No work, no studies.”

“I’ve had some health issues. I’d rather not go into details, but all is well now and I don’t expect any problems in the future.”

“Very well. The job is yours.”

I blinked at him.

“Wasn’t that decided already?”

The CEO looked me in the eye, his eyes cold.

“I hope you understand the opportunity that’s being presented to you. A golden ticket. Did you notice the crowd of people at the entrance?”

“The new interns?” I asked, confused.

“The people that are after your job, and that I will have to turn down. Do not disappoint me.”

And without any other word, he left the room, forgetting about the files, forgetting about the coffee.

And I sat there, my mind foggy with the interaction. And apparently, I forgot to walk.

[whosmorales]

Dance with me - Spider Noir x Reader

A/N: thanks so much for the request @halfshadows6 ! I honestly wanted to originally add this into my first one but I’m glad it’s getting a fic of it’s own! I don’t think I’ll make it all that linked to my first fic so anyone can read it without having to read the other one :)

Warnings: fluff? Swearing. Sexual jokes. Generally pg-13 language with a really fluffy story line.

It had to be at least 11 pm by now. Miles and Gwen were at their school all week, Peter B was visiting MJ, and Penni and Peter Porker always seemed to pass out by 9:00.

That left you and Peter Noir. You were working on a draft of an art project you and Miles planned on spray painting over the weekend, and he was observing. He seemed to be absolutely fascinated by your colored pencils and markers that you used.

At one point, you decided you might as well make conversation with him. You looked over your shoulder so your noses were almost touching, which he seemed to jump a little at. You smiled softly, trying to communicate to him that he could calm down now.

“Hey.” You said pleasantly, keeping your face close to his and keeping eye contact, but making sure to do it gently, not in an aggressive way that could startle him.

He gave you a silent smile and a wave, knowing that if he opened his mouth, he’d sputter out some word vomit. Your smile widened a little and you turned back around to your drawing.

It seemed out of nowhere to him when you asked. “Could you pass me my phone? I want to play some music.” But he complied, grabbing the phone on Aunt May’s wall and holding it out to you. You still had your back turned to him before he coughed to get your attention, then you turned around to see him intently holding the old telephone, waving it to you, dead serious.

You tried to hold in your laughter, which only resulted in a loud snort noise to come out of your nose before you were almost rolling on the floor laughing. You didn’t know why it was so funny to you, but the fact that you needed sleep desperately and the clock was almost at midnight now probably contributed to it.

“What?” He said, sounding genuinely confused, with a little bit of hurt in his voice. You quickly collected yourself and looked up at him again.

“No no no no no” you said, frantically waving your hands. “You’re fine. I’m just so tired that even Peter B’s dumb jokes would be comedy gold to me right now.”

His expression softened as he watched you snatch your phone off the counter.

“that’s a PHONE?” He exclaimed, causing you to giggle a little more.

“Yep. And I’m gonna play some music for us on it.” You grinned. “I’m thinking the Beatles, only about 30 years after you, you’d like them.”

That earned you a smile from him. He looked down for a second to clean his glasses, and he smiled at you again as he pushed them up his nose, though it was so subtle you hadn’t noticed.

You scrolled through YouTube before landing in twist and shout and grinned widely pressing play.

“Come on Mr. Monochrome! Dance with me!” You said as you twirled to the iconic song playing. He rolled his eyes playfully before grabbing your hand mid spin and pulling you towards him gently, spinning you under his arm. You giggled and glanced up at him, feeling yourself flush when you noticed the grin on his face.

That’s how your guys’ tradition started.

Every month you’d choose a new decade of music in no exact order, and you’d find different times during the month to dance to the music like idiots. Sure, Miles liked to tease you about it, but you’d remind him that he wasn’t exactly one to talk, considering a girl had to shave half her head because of his powers.

Fast forward to today. It was a Friday night, and it had to be past 12:00 by now, and you had chosen the 70s, one of your favorite musical decades. You sang bohemian rhapsody to yourself quietly while you scrolled through YouTube looking for a song, which caught Noirs attention.

“If I’m not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on.” Your voice sang in a way that sounded absolutely angelic to him, causing him to basically melt on the spot.

“You uh- you have a really pretty voice Y/N” he stuttered awkwardly, which caught you off guard, since you hadn’t noticed him listening.

You grinned at him. “Thanks dude, I used to play at open mic nights, but I haven’t really gone since my spider woman duties took over my life. Not that I’m complaining or anything, I mean I love you guys.”

He cut you off. “Well you sound beautiful. What’s that song?” He looked like he’d heard an angel sing to him, and he felt like he had too.

You quickly clicked bohemian rhapsody on YouTube, since you were already searching for queen songs. You held your hand out to him, but it felt different than other times you guys danced together. You were almost like a middle school boy asking a girl to a school dance for the first time, shy and innocent. He placed his hand in yours, holding it for a few seconds before the song started.

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

You swing your arms around his neck when the slow piano started to play and swayed slowly, looking down and singing quietly. You were just wearing an old Spider-Man tee shirt and gray sweatpants, but to him you were a goddess.

As the guitar solo began, he broke the silence between you two by yawning softly. You made eye contact with him and gave him a cheesy smile. “Hey” You said, trying not to laugh as you did your best impression of Miles. He chuckled and smiled at you. You heard a couple piano keys before realizing where the song.

“Oh I fucking love this part!” You whisper shouted.

I see a little silhouetto of a man

Scaramouch Scaramouch will you do the fandango?

Thunder, bolts of lightning, very very frightening me

“Galileo!” You sung happily, in a high pitcher voice, which surprised Noir. He wore and expression that screamed I have no idea what the hell is going on but I’m far too tired to question it.

Before you knew it the song came to an end. You basically went through a quote unquote emotional roller coaster with Peter Noir, switching between totally platonic slow dancing, rocking out, or mumbling ‘nonsense’ as he’d call it.

You let out a long yawn and leaned into Noirs side, feeling his arm wrap around you and sinking into his touch.

“I’m gonna sleep on the couch, care to join me?” You muttered only half sarcastically. To your surprise he nodded before picking you up bridal style to walk you over there, making you burst into a fit of giggles while he just smiled tiredly. He set you down next to the couch and lie down on the couch, patting the bit of space next to him. You smiled weakly and grabbed a random blanket from the floor, practically throwing yourself on the couch, you felt Noir press a soft kiss to your forehead, and before you could realize what he’d done, he seemed to be knocked out.

The next morning, you woke up to whispers nearby you, but refused to open your eyes.

“Do you think they...you know?”

“Miles that’s disgusting! Plus they’re both fully clothed.”

“Yeah well they’re practically one person right now so excuse me if it’s a little surprising when those two are the first thing we see when we walk through the door!”

“Shhh she’s waking up dumbass!”

You instantly recognized the voices of Miles and Gwen and began to push yourself up from the couch. Except, it wasn’t the couch. You looked up to see Peter Noir, his glasses hanging from his hand slung over the side of the couch, the other hand around your waist, holding you close. His lips brushed your forehead when you looked up and he was snoring lightly.

“Hey Gweeeeen, hi Milessssss” You said as causually as you could, considering you were dropping Noir’s arm off of you and pushing yourself off his thick sweater.

You heard Miles mutter something to Gwen along the lines of “you owe me five bucks” that was responded to by an annoyed grunt while they both walked out.

A few minutes later, you watched Peter Noirs eyes flutter open. He looked so...peaceful. It felt so natural, spending the night in his arms. He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, which you doubt he’d realized, because if he had it probably wouldn’t have felt so calm.

“So.” You said, feeling so comfortable that it was almost not awkward when he kissed your cheek. “Do you wanna listen to bohemian rhapsody again?”

[handmadecp]

Western Gun Rig.

Hi, I’ve been busy doing all the bags and pouches, book covers etc that I have previously posted all of which can be located on my Blog ‘Beginners Journey into LeatherCraft’ in the archive. So, what’s this about a Western Gun Rig I hear you ask, Well, the Big Kid inside me has come out after watching some of the fast draw videos on YT. and I’ve made me a ‘Cowboy Belt’. Unfortunately I’m making it in the UK, one of the most strict places on the planet against firearms so I have had to make it ‘very’ clear that what you see are ‘Props’, nothing more than replicas with zero chance of anything going Bang because basically..it’s a Toy used to help me in the build. So lets get on, hope you enjoy.

The first thing I needed was a Replica of a Pistol that I fancied making the holster for. I looked online and settled on the ‘Single Action’ Colt ‘Army’ .45 (Short barrel) and a handful of Dummy rounds for the belt.. Not cheap but it was needed..as an actual ‘toy’ pistol wouldn’t have the weight or the bulk of this.

I also needed a pattern so I purchased the  Holster and Gun belt pattern pack from Tandy leather. As you can see..it looks a bit complicated, but we have a saying in the UK..’Give it a coat of Looking at’...and after 3 cups of tea and many coats of looking at I finally realised how simple it really was. So I chose which belt I wanted to make from the ‘several’ that are here and started cutting.

Following the pattern guides I used a sheet of paper laid the gun as shown along the fold line

Then I dropped it down to the Right side and drew around the Pistol as seen here, to the ‘right’ allows for a Right handed draw. if for a left hander...just go to the left, all other instructions are the same.

The basic holster pattern is done.

I use anything to hand that will give me the curves I want on the holster and after getting the basic shape you can use a bit of artistic licence to get it how you want it, but there has to be enough to actually hold the pistol in so don’t cut too much away. there is a quite slim looking piece to the pattern on the front, top left...I worried it was too thin but as the project progresses it looks less of a weak spot.

I chose to use the same 3.5-4mm leather for the Holster as well as the belt. next time I would definately choose maybe 2.5-3mm as..although it came out beautiful It is quite a heavy holster and when you consider the weight of leather in the belt plus a Solid Brass Buckle plus a Pistol ‘and’ 24 Dummy rounds...it makes for quite a weight so next time I will ‘save’ weight where I can without giving away quality or looks though.

I used the template / pattern I made to cut out the leather as seen here. A quick tip: When I forst started I was going through Stanley blades really fast...now I ‘Use jewellers rouge and strop’ them and one blade is lasting me at least a month and its so easy to do.

Here I’m ‘dampening’ the Leather ready to Burnish the edges. Don’t soak it or it will go to mush when you burnish. if you over wet it by mistake just wait for it to dry out a bit and carry on.

I did use my machine to Burnish most of the edges but had to revert back to the old wooden burnisher for the harder to reach places.

I cut a ‘Welt’ as I would for a knife sheath, it does protect the stitching but in this case it also helps to create space for the pistol. See here I have used 528 contact cement from EVO STICK and have put glue on both pieces...waited for it to get ‘tacky’ before sticking in place.

I glued it one side at a time, don’t try to glue and stick both sides at the same time, I was reliably informed by a very experienced gunbelt maker that if you do...it can cause all kinds of problems...if you get it out of line and the contact cement touched...it sticks fast.

Also, as I was sticking it along one edge I left it ‘proud’ of the edge as seen in this pic’ by an 1/8th or so...for sanding later.

Transferring a pic of some Oak leaves and acorns to the holster after dampening it. You can do any design you please or leave it plain. more on this later.

Cut out the pattern for the Belt part of the build. I used 3.5 - 4mm thick veg tan leather, By the end of this I found that this is ideal for the Belt itself and with all the manipulation during the build  by the finish it was very supple, far different to what I began with.

After drawing the outline with a Paint pen refil, (which comes of easily ) I wet / dampened the leather and used a ball point tracing tool to go over the design lines pressing to leave the imprint in the leather. I chose to do everything as it came on the pattern but you can choose sections...it’s your choice. I then put on the soft cotton glove and started the carving with the swivel knife. Some of you know but for those who don’t, I wear the glove to prevent my nails dragging on the leather leaving marks, it’s a tiny detail but adds a little extra professionalism not having nail ‘dents’ everywhere.

Pattern cutting almost done..

Next I used the beveler to make the design more pronounced from the leather.

A good Tip...I made a ‘shot’ bag from suede..filled with lead shot, it’s great for holding the leather still whilst tooling.

don’t forget to cover the back in the decorators paper tape before tooling to minimise stretching.

I chose for myself, to ‘stipple’ the background. When doing leather crafting, you start with an idea but that idea swaps and changes as you go along and in my mind I felt it would look good once all the dying and polishing was done.

The outline beveling is done and the back ground stippling is well under way.

The long blank area at the bottom of the belt is the area I will put the Dummy rounds.

These next few pics show the detailing going on, making the leaves and flowers etc stand out more.

Next I punched the holes I need to put the strap through to hold the ‘Rounds’ then I threaded them to see which particular style of threading I wanted. This way looks good but only allows me to put twelve rounds on the belt.

patterns for the buckle strap and the belt holes strap.

Here you can see the pattern piece I used to trace and then cut these belt end pieces.

Beautiful Handcrafted solid brass buckle.

here you see the Buckle strap cut out edged and burnished with a decorative line added around the edge and a Solid Brass Buckle I had made for this project from some guys who make them by hand.

Notice here how I have changed the strapping style to a much tighter closer look, this allowed me to put 24 rounds on instead of only twelve and I feel it’s a much nicer look.

Ok so now we’re back to the holster. The tracing and transfer of the design is the same as with the belt design and a very easy thing to pick up, takes a little practice as with anything but beginners will soon get better with practice on old scraps, I developed my technique by carving coasters for friends and family.

A good view here of the swivel knife cutting, almost finished cutting the oak leaves and acorns in. you can also see a decorative / stitch line around the edge. looking back I discovered it would be better to leave the decorative / stitch line until I’m done sanding edges as I took off so much it left the line slightly closer to some of the edges, luckily this was on the back of the holster out of sight...lesson learned.

The Welt, used for a couple of things, one ...to protect the stitching and two..to give more space for the Pistol.

Here the Welt is glued to one side, better I’m told by a very experienced gun belt maker because if you try to stick both sides at the same time it can go very wrong as the contact cement...once it touches..sticks. You can also see the very soft 1mm leather I chose for the liner, I’m told the liner is to prevent the tougher veg tan flesh side taking the coating off the gun over time.

Here I’m gluing the backing to the holster and trimming. I glued the holster to an oversized piece to make it easier not to have to line up the edges. easier to cut later.

Here you can see that I have left the Welt sticking slightly proud of the edge to make the sanding easier later.

Dampening the dges ready to burnish.

I had to carefully use a sharp blade to get the welt off so that i could put the liner on and roll it down, but it was simple enough toglue back on. Some of you may notice that the actual holster changes half way through the pics, that’s because I got tired and made a left hand holster instead of the right and had to change it.....it’s such an addictive craft that you fail to notice the time sometimes, it gets late and mistakes start to happen.

Ok, so here ‘s the first fitting. I loaded up some dummy rounds in the strap ( I still have no idea what that bit’s called lol.) to see if I was getting the fit right. very pleased by this point. I will say that this is a lot of work, so maybe not for a complete novice to try right away but after a few months of learning the basics you (anyone) should be ok to give it a go. I like how the color looks too but ultimately I’m looking to make it more ‘worn’ and antiqued looking. also, if you have a leather stitching machine you can do your stitching quicker, but I like the look of hand stitched so thats what I did.

The dummy rounds strap is missing a few here, I was waiting on a delivery of more rounds.

here are a few of the tools I used, Dividers, stitch groover and two sizes of bevellers.

Gluing down the other side of the holster.

I used Fiebings Walnut Pro dye on the inner liner to help it match the rest later.

note how much thicker the holster is after gluing the Welt in. I used my sanding machine to smooth down the excess over hang I left earlier.

Note the left handed holster ..I’ll use that on another belt. Here I’m Walnut dying  the bullet strap, the buckle strap and the belt extension strap.

Dying the inner liner.

Time to dye the Holster, using Walnut and following it with a coat of eco flo dark brown antique dye.

Once dyed the belt and holster need to be darkened off so that it ages the look of the belt. I used Eco Flo Dark Brown antique dye.

Note how much darker the holster is now after the antique dye has been added compared to the belt.

I decided to add line 27 snap studs to the back of the holster to be able to change it out for bigger holsters / pistols if required. The dye came out great and after the antique it polished up very well. Also..though it’s not intended for it...it turns out the antique works great for darkening and polishing the edges. I didn’t use edge kote as I personally don’t like the look. Just a personal choice, maybe you’ll like it...try it on scrap first.

Test fitting.

The straps were then dyed to match and burnished, ready to fit to the main belt.

Meet ‘Ken’ our model.

Loving the match with the dye.

I was advised to use an oval hole punch as it doesn’t get mishapen as quickly as a round hole. I now use this on all my belts and straps.

I always use the Evo Stick 528 contact cement if possible, be warned though this stuff..once cured..will really stick and if you are not lined up..you have a problem, it’s good stuff. Not necessary as I only need to attach the strap long enough to hold it in place whilst I Hand stitch it, but I always think..”Why not”..it just makes the whole thing that bit stronger.

Again with 528 glue for the Buckle strap. I used a leather ‘rougher’ to create grip for the glue but you can do it with a scratch awl or other sharpish object.

The straps are glued, here I’m making the stitch holes I used a 4mm.

On to the Hand stitching using a Saddle stitch and a Dark Brown waxed thread.

What follows from this point is a lot of extra pics showing off the almost finished belt, You can see I’ve added the Brass buckle, very simple, if you are more than a novice you will be aware how this is done, if you are new to leather craft you will find lots of pics in the archive showing how to do this.

All that’s left to do now are fiddly bits. To burnish the edges of the main belt, very easy to do as I decided ‘not’ to add a ‘Liner’ to the main belt...the reason?...well the holes I cut for the ‘Rounds’ strap were a tiny bit close to the edge of the belt and I didn’t feel there would be enough material stuck in that area, hence my decision. lesson learned for my next one. I said four and a half years ago when I began my ‘journey’ that I would mention any issues or mistakes I make in the hopes that you might avoid doing the same thing...that was not so much a mistake...as I followed the pattern..but I learned that not all patterns are exact and I will adjust this area next time.

I also need to add some lace in these two holes to pull over the Pistol ‘Hammer’ to prevent the gun falling out of the holster whilst the ‘Cowboy’ / ‘Cowgirl’ is running or rolling around and to add a longer lace to the back bottom edge to use as a leg tie.

Excuse ken, he’s a slim kinda guy and it’s falling off him...oh well. lol. But I’m Loving this thick strap with the hand made solid brass buckle.

The lace over the ‘Hammer’ and the leg tie.

Annnnd..that’s a Wrap folks, What a great project this was, I would recommend having a go, maybe not for a complete beginner.....not that you couldn’t do it if you took it slow but it’s expensive to make, especially if you need to buy the replica and the dummy rounds and to make mistakes on expensive leather can ruin your day. I’ve learned a lot making this and I will improve again on the next one but I am more than happy with my first ever attempt, I’m looking forward to the next one. I hope this might encourage some of you to try your hand at leather craft. For those who aren’t already aware there are many more  project build alongs in the archive of my Blog ‘Beginners Journey into Leathercraft’ . Watch this space, good luck with your own Projects and Stay safe...Stay Crafty.

[moldy-mold]

Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!

Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.

It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.

I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.

Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted.  At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.

NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.

The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.

Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.

But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.

I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.

I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.

She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan.  My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?

I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…

I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.

Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…

Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.

Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…

Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.

Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!

The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…

I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.

NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.

My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.

The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.

I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.

I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.

I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.

Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(

There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.” 
Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.

I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!
 https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.

I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.

The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”

Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!

I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.

I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.

I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!

Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.

I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T

I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.

I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.

I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.

Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?

I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.

So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.

I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.

I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.

At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:

I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.

In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.

Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.

I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.

I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.

I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?

I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient⁠—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…

The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…

I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.

When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.

I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3

We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…

For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!

I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.

I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.

I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.

[carmenlire]

Higher than the Big Trees Ch. 16

Edit credit: @kindaresilient <3

Two chapters in two days? Don’t get used to this lmao

read chapter one

read on ao3

Alec stands in front of Magnus’s door and takes a breath before reaching out to knock.

He’s not nervous. Even though it’s the first time that he’s going to be visiting Magnus at his place, there’s no butterflies or lead in his stomach.

Remarkably, he feels relaxed. He’s hung out with Magnus before and it didn’t end in disaster.

Hopefully, he can keep up that streak.

Plus, it’s not as if this is a date. They’re friends, nothing more.

As Alec knocks, he takes in the corridor. Magnus lived in Brooklyn, on the top floor of one of the many buildings that had been renovated a few years ago. There’s exposed brickwork and intermittent light fixtures and it all seems to fit Magnus’s style, perfectly. It’s elegant but with character.

Magnus opens the door just a few seconds later, smiling.

“Good evening, Alexander.”

“Magnus, hi.”

Alec smiles back as he gives him a onceover. Magnus had apparently changed when he’d gotten home because he’s the most dressed down Alec’s ever seen him. He’s wearing a pair of yoga pants with a plain black singlet. His feet are bare, toes painted a dark emerald and adorned with a silver ring.

What the fuck.

Alec swallows as he sees Magnus’s arms. How were clothes able to hide so much?

He clears his throat and meets Magnus’s eyes for a beat before Magnus steps back and swings the door open wider, beckoning Alec in.

“Welcome. Did you have any trouble finding it?”

Alec steps over the threshold, immediately toeing off his Nikes.

“No,” he says distractedly. “Google Maps has yet to let me down.”

His gaze roves over what he can see of Magnus’s apartment. He sees more exposed brick, rich tapestries and colorful furniture. It’s a weird hybrid of old and new-- modern and ancient-- and Alec loves it.

From behind him, he hears, “Well, that makes one of us, darling. Once I was in Estonia trying to find this historically significant cathedral and the app just kept leading me in circles. A twenty minute stroll turned into a two hour fiasco. It was a mess.”

Alec turns around. “Maybe it was operator error,” he teases.

Magnus huffs, rolling his eyes. “Believe whatever you like. I’m usually an expert explorer, I have a sixth sense, but during that trip I got lost too many times to count. I was just running in circles. Plus, the Estonian language isn’t for the faint of heart-- I didn’t have a clue of what anything meant.”

“At least you have a story to tell now.”

“Like I need more of those,” Magnus says ruefully.

“Let’s move things out of my foyer.” He nods towards the living room and Alec follows him as he heads to the couch. There’s an infinitesimal pause, Alec only notices it because he’s neurotic, but Magnus chooses one end of the couch, the one closest to the french doors.

Alec has a minute to panic-- couch or chair or other chair-- but in the end his brain short circuits and he goes with the closest option.

The other end of the couch.

There’s an entire cushion between them and Magnus doesn’t look like he’s judging him too hard, so Alec relaxes against the surprisingly comfortable couch. It looks like it’s supposed to be a statement piece not to actually sit on, but as Alec leans against the back, it’s nice as hell.

Magnus looks smug. “Not as hard as it looks, huh?”

“I thought I was going to have to pretend like I wasn’t extremely uncomfortable for the entire night but this couch is actually a dream.”

Magnus nods a little as he settles against his armrest, bringing one leg up to tuck under the other. “I know exactly what you mean. When I first went furniture shopping, I wanted something comfortable but not shabby, you know? I walked by this couch a dozen times because it looked like something rich people have-- useless and purely decorative. But, I hadn’t found anything yet and it was in my budget so on a whim I sat down and almost melted into it. I bought it on the spot. I’ve had it eight years and it looks the same as the day I bought it-- definitely one of the best purchases I ever made.”

Alec mirrors Magnus’s position, runs a hand through his hair. “I know exactly what you mean. I bought the couch I have now when I moved out on my own. I won’t lie, it looks like shit, but it’s comfortable as hell and I know that I won’t ever get rid of it. It was the first big purchase I bought when the money came in from my first single. I’m emotionally attached to it.”

Magnus hums, looks at Alec with narrowed eyes. “I wouldn’t have expected that. You keep surprising me.”

Alec blinks. “Good surprises, I hope?”

“Very good,” Magnus says softly.

There’s a moment as the two of them just look at each other. It’s not uncomfortable, just a pause in the conversation, but it strikes Alec.

He can’t remember the last person he could share the quiet with.

He clears his throat, raises one of his eyebrows. “What are these surprises?”

Magnus grins, reaching out one of his legs to gently poke at Alec’s. “You’re a superstar, darling. I’m sure you could buy a thousand couches and it wouldn’t dent your credit card. But, you keep the first couch you had for sentimental reasons. You tip lavishly-- don’t think I didn’t notice how much you left Anna and Marv a few weeks ago. You’re not an asshole,” Magnus concludes bluntly.

Barking out a laugh, Alec says, “That’s good to know. I try not to be an asshole. I’ve been doing this since I was sixteen. I’ve seen a lot of people come and go and I just try to be good. Not the best, but it doesn’t take a lot to say please or thank you or not to trash a hotel room.”

He breaks off, stares into nothing for a minute. When he looks back up at Magnus, he finds him already staring at him, eyes intense.

“I have an image. I actively cultivate that reputation as a playboy and rockstar. I don’t hide the fact that I like to have a good time. But, I also work my ass off. Some of my peers get into the industry and they see the signing bonuses and the easy hookups and they think that’s it. They don’t see the hundred of hours that go into producing an album or how important it is to network professionally or that the life isn’t for everyone.

“So, yeah, I tip because it means nothing to me but a lot to them. That couch is comfy as hell and I’m sentimental. I’m glad you see beyond the surface, Magnus.

“I’m glad you care enough to want to,” he says, voice low.

Magnus studies Alec for a moment, eyes flitting across his face. Voice just above a whisper, he says, “Of course I do.”

He straightens and leans forward imperceptibly. Alec catches himself swaying towards, just a little.

The air is tense with the promise of something and Alec's close enough to see Magnus's eyes dilate.

Magnus jerks a little and leans back against the armrest.

Alec lets out a breath.

“So,” Magnus starts. “I have all four movies and a drawer full of take out menus. Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”

Magnus laughs. “Okay, that’s good. What are you in the mood for? I’m hungry, too.”

Alec thinks for a minute. “Is there a local place that’s your go-to? I’m not too familiar with Brooklyn but I’m sure there something you’re in the mood for?”

Alec can’t be sure, but he thinks Magnus’s eyes might drop down to his mouth for a millisecond. He shakes himself. As if.

“Twilight is a bit of a comfort watch for me-- the movies really are shit and I usually just order a pizza from this place down the block. It’s a family owned place and they know what they’re doing.”

Alec’s nodding before Magnus even finishes. “That sounds amazing. My brother dragged me to the gym for hours today. I really am starving.”

“Say no more, darling-- oh, is there anything you don’t like on your pizza?”

Alec shakes his head and Magnus stands up and heads to what Alec presumes is his bedroom. He comes back a minute later, phone to his ear. He doesn’t go back to the couch. Instead, he wanders around the living room aimlessly while he talks to whoever is on the line.

“Good evening Tony, it’s Magnus. . . Oh, I’m fine. How’s your family?. . . They do grow up so fast. . . I’m still teaching, summer classes right now. . . Yup, the usual but let’s double the bread and the brownies. Thanks man, I’ll see Mikey soon.”

He hangs up, looks over at Alec with an amused expression. “Tony likes to talk. You can’t just order pizza-- you have to observe the pleasantries. He and his wife have been making pizza for thirty years and it’s a local joint. They pretty much know everyone.”

He comes around the couch, settling back into his spot. He relaxes, sprawls out a little more.

“I usually get an extra large supreme with an order of cheesy bread and brownies for dessert. How does that sound?”

Alec’s stomach growls and Magnus laughs.

“I’ll take that as approval. Now, let me put the first movie in and we can pause it when the food is delivered?”

“Sounds great.”

A few minutes later, the starting credits start to play.

Alec usually likes to watch movies silently, especially the first time. He hates when people talk during movies, distracting him, detracting from the experience.

But-- it’s so bad.

They’re only about halfway through the first one, but Alec's already looking forward to the rest of them. Edward looks like he’d literally rather die than look at Bella, Jacob is a little pathetic, and Bella herself looks like Alec feels-- there are really no good options, here.

Magnus and him make fun of the movie until there are tears in their eyes.

They’ve just gotten past the part where Edward scrabbles up a tree, shining like a disco ball, and Alec’s absolutely losing his shit.

“Oh my God,” he gasps. “What the fuck. What is wrong with him?”

Magnus’s mouth is open to reply when there’s a knock on the door. He stands up, chuckling. Over his shoulder, he calls out, “Why do you think they live in the Pacific Northwest, darling? The sun makes them sparkle and it just wouldn’t do for people to see that.”

Magnus opens the door, taking the boxes and sliding cash to the delivery boy.

“Thanks, Mikey.”

“No problem, Magnus. Enjoy your food--” he leans to the side, sees Alec half reclining on the couch. “And your date.”

The teenager leaves, chortling, pocketing the bills.

Magnus turns around, arms full and Alec rushes up to help him, grabbing the smaller boxes.

Magnus rolls his eyes. “Youths. They’re so precocious and they think they're so funny.” He sets the food down on the kitchen bar.

“I want to say that I was never such an asshat, but tragically, I know that I was probably worse.”

Alec nods and opens the pizza box, mouth watering at the smell of garlic and cheese and sauce.

“Oh, I know I was a bit of a nightmare. I was either really quiet and surly or over the top. I was a mess. Holy fuck, Magnus, this pizza looks amazing.”

Magnus grabs plates, handing one to Alec while he opens the box of cheesy bread.

“It really does. Tony’s outdone himself tonight.”

They two plate up and head back to the living room, collapsing against cushions and resuming the movie.

They both go back for seconds and pop in the second movie, polishing off the brownies during it.

As the credits start to roll, Alec slouches in his seat a little. Their plates are on the coffee table in front of them and they’re angled towards each other, knees barely touching.

Magnus climbs to his feet and stretches.

“Ready for number three?”

Alec groans. “I’m so full that all I’m ready for is a nap. I haven’t eaten that much in ages.”

Magnus disappears somewhere but Alec can still hear his voice.

“That’s what movie nights are for, Alexander. Eating too much unhealthy food and watching questionable movies.”

He comes back a moment later carrying a huge ass blanket.

“I was getting a little chilly, but I’d rather be cold with a blanket than fine without one, so.”

He sits down on the edge of the couch and looks over at Alec, he waves his blanket a little. “Want to share? I don’t know how you’re feeling but this blanket is definitely big enough for the two of us.”

Alec debates for a second before he’s scooching over to the middle cushion. “Whoever says no to additional coziness?”

Magnus grins and sits down next to Alec, they’re sides touching.

Alec is overtly aware of exactly where they’re touching.

Magnus settles the blanket over them both, smoothing it down.

He looks at Alec expectantly and Alec gives him a droll look. “Yes, you’re right, this is the best blanket I’ve ever had the good fortune to use.”

Magnus beams. “Told you so, darling.”

What Alec doesn't say is that the blanket smells like Magnus, sandalwood a subtle scent. It's nice.

Beyond nice.

Magnus starts Eclipse and minute by minute, Alec can feel himself getting sleepier. He’s stuffed with amazing food, Magnus is a long line of warmth beside him, and the couch combined with the damned blanket is making him drowsy.

Magnus shuffles a little, moving imperceptibly closer, leaning into Alec a little more.

Alec turns away, muffling a yawn, and slides down the couch a little, leg settling more firmly against Magnus.

He closes his eyes, just for a minute, and the next thing he’s aware of is someone on top of him.

He moves, just a little, and discovers that he’s laying down. Opening his eyes, he immediately squints as sunlight comes pouring in through the french doors, hitting him right in the face.

He closes his eyes again and just takes a few minutes to breathe and get his bearings.

His eyes fly open as he remembers where he is. Who he’s with.

He looks down and gets a face full of hair, Magnus settled against his chest.

Alec has a brief thought of oh shit, but he can’t deny that this feels good.

Honestly, it’s been awhile since he woke up next to a guy and didn’t immediately look for the exit.

He moves, just a little, and Magnus hums, squeezing him from where he’s wrapped an arm around his middle.

Alec feels Magnus waking up and has a moment to panic-- will Magnus think this is too forward? Friends fall asleep together, right? This won’t turn into an awkward morning after-- forgetting that nothing even happened?

Magnus noses along his tshirt before he freezes. He looks up and meets Alec’s eyes.

There’s a moment of silence as they just look at each other. Magnus looks a little ridiculous, makeup smudged all to hell and back, his hair rumpled and Alec knows he doesn’t look any better.

“Well.” Magnus’s lips quirk up. “We didn’t get to the fourth movie.”

Alec laughs, surprised.

“No,” he agrees. “Your blanket was too comfortable. It lulled me right to sleep.”

Magnus sighs. “It is magic.”

He looks back up at Alec, solemnly. “Your hair’s a mess, Alexander.”

Alec snorts. “You should see your face, Magnus.”

Magnus jolts upright, eyes widening in horror. “I fell asleep with my makeup on! Oh, I bet I look like a raccoon that lost a fight with Sephora.”

In the next moment, he’s shrugging, nonchalantly. “It happens. It’s better that you see me like this now so that I know if this friendship can continue or if messy makeup is too much for you.”

Laughing, Alec sits up, pulls the blanket into his lap from where it was pooling on the floor.

“It’ll take more than smeared makeup to scare me off, don’t worry.”

Magnus smiles and there’s a few minutes of silence as they relax on the couch.

It’s weird, but Alec doesn’t feel need to make a mad dash to the door. He’s not feeling like a clock’s ticking menacingly. He doesn’t feel judged for not immediately making an excuse for why he needs to leave.

There’s no pressure here and it feels damned good.

His thoughts break off as Magnus starts talking.

“I don’t know what you have planned today-- we had really just discussed last night-- but I know this place that serves a mean belgian waffle. Feel like breakfast?”

Alec takes stock, grimaces. “I’d love to but I’d also really love to not look like I just rolled out of bed if we go out.”

Magnus shrugs. “I have two bathrooms with extra supplies. Feel free to get ready here, if you’re interested.”

Grinning, Alec says, “Alright, sounds like a plan. When do you want to leave?”

Magnus looks at the clock above the television. “How about forty five minutes?”

Alec nods and stands, cracking his back. “Meet you back here then.”

He starts walking but pauses, turning back. “Where’s your bathroom?”

Magnus laughs and points to the left of the entryway. “Down that corridor, there’s a bathroom that’s the second door on the right. You should have everything you need but let me know if you don’t see something.”

Alec nods and turns back. He finds the bathroom without a problem. It’s elegant, if eccentric. It’s done in shades of burgundy and there’s an elephant toothbrush holder on the sink.

He finds toothpaste, towels, and a spare toothbrush. He takes a shower-- the water pressure is amazing-- and gets out, wrapping a towel around his waist. He brushes his teeth and finger combs his hair as best he can.

He doesn’t have any other clothes, so he has to wear yesterday’s. There’s a bedroom right next to the bathroom and Alec gathers his clothes-- it’s a bitch to get dressed in a steamy bathroom.

He opens the door and almost walks into Magnus.

They both step back and Alec immediately remembers that he’s half naked, the flimsy towel wrapped around his waist the only thing keeping him decent.

Magnus seems a little dazed, staring at Alec’s chest with a sort of mesmerized intensity.

“Magnus?”

Magnus jolts, turns up to smile at Alec.

“Alexander! I was just seeing if you needed anything.”

Magnus’s gaze keeps dropping to below Alec’s face and Alec feels heat climb up his neck. While it was gratifying to be checked out, especially by Magnus, he was probably reading what he wanted into things.

Alec shakes his head a little, clearing it and realizing that he hasn’t answered Magnus yet.

“I’m fine-- I was just going to get dressed in the guest room.”

Magnus nods a little too enthusiastically. “Okay then, help yourself. I’ll leave you to it. See you in a few.”

He turns on his heel and heads to the other side of the loft.

Alec watches him leave for a few seconds before going across the hall to the guest room. It only takes him a minute and then he’s opening the door and heading to the living room.

He debates what to do. Seeing that he has twenty minutes until they’re set to leave, he walks over to the end table, picks up his phone.

Finding that it's had died sometime in the night he turns instead to the bookshelf on the wall. It looks to be a mix of knickknacks and books and Alec’s eyes snag on European Conquerors.

Alec still has his copy at home-- he’s been making slow but steady progress, saving Magnus’s chapter for last.

He stands by the wall and opens the book, easily finding his place. He gets absorbed and is startled when he hears a cough.

He looks over his shoulder and sees Magnus looking at him, brows raised.

Alec brings the book up, showing him the cover.

“I saw this on your shelf and thought I’d read while I waited for you.”

Magnus looks unguarded. “You’re actually reading that?”

Alec shakes his head, confused. “Yeah? I told you I would and I checked it out of the library. Plus, you wrote it. There’s no way that I’m not going to.”

Magnus’s face is the picture of surprise before his expression melts into one of fondness.

He clears his throat.

“Well. What do you think of it so far?”

Alec shrugs, looks down at the book.

“It’s dense but really interesting. I liked Gregor’s account of the Dutch East Indies-- I learned a lot. But I didn’t care too much about Lorsch’s chapter on Britain's economic theory. I comprehended it but I couldn’t help but think that he supported colonialism in the end. He didn’t really write as a historian.”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “That’s because the old windbag devoutly believes in British superiority and thinks that the fact that they invaded half the world is a testament to its strength and vivacity. He mourns the loss of the Great British Empire like a baby mourns stolen candy.”

He walks over to the foyer, sliding his keys into his pocket.

He looks over his shoulder. “Have you read my chapter, yet?”

Alec shakes his head, tucking the book back into its place before snagging his phone from the table.

“No.” He grins. “I figured that I would save the best for last.”

Magnus rolls his eyes but Alec can tell that he’s pleased.

“Well, then, you’ll just have to keep me updated.”

Alec smiles. “I guess I will.”

The head out the door into a warm June morning.

The sun is shining and people are milling about.

Alec and Magnus head out to breakfast and enjoy crisp, fluffy Belgian waffles, Alec insisting on paying since Magnus picked up the takeout last night.

Neither can remember smiling so much during a mundane breakfast.

Both are already looking forward to the next time they can see each other.

[hecallsmehischild]

Mental Organization

Less a post to vent poison right now. More a post to untangle the ball of yarn and line the skeins up neatly in their compartments because right now it’s all one huge mishmash and I think it’s keeping me from what they call “executive function.”

Projects that I have a handle on but that I keep having to stop because I can’t make myself create something quality if my feelings are snarled

Illustrating a children’s story my friend wrote, called How To Be Good. I’m so happy with this. I’m no pro illustrator but my skills have grown a lot since I illustrated the other story (Purple is for Playtime). It’s so visually cheerful, it makes me happy to look at finished pages.

Hey Spacejerk. I love it so far but I’m apprehensive now. I’ve taken the device I was using to create this story and smashed it. How fast do I go now? I don’t really want to write a super long fanfiction. I don’t think I want this story to be longer than ten chapters more. But if I go too fast the audience will feel cheated.

Laughter Lines. I’m more sunk into the flow of this one, but constantly worried I’m going to screw up the device I’ve been laying dominoes for. It’s more complicated than my usual and, unlike previous fandoms where I could handwave these details, it will matter that everything is just right.

Elrohee. I just want to process things here. I want to be careful, too, because I don’t want it to get preachy. Ever. This series is not about being preachy and never was.

Wire trees. I created a larger wire tree recently and also a new kind of button tree that got me all excited. Then I started a tree with wire I didn’t like (because I was running out of colors) and I regret that. I don’t like the color combination. I’m staring at the half finished tree. I hate the waste, but I want to get back to being able to make trees. That half finished tree will stare me in the face forever if I don’t. So I’m standing up to throw it away now. No… No I’m not. The color combination isn’t hideous, just… not inspiring. If I add some really nice beads to it, it will perk up. I dont’ want to waste it.

Painting. Currently I have a half finished orange mask and a half finished wooden wiggly snake. Right now I have no inspiration to finish either, though I think maybe the orange mask might be flamey? Or sunny.

Crochet. I have two blankets in the works, one random-yarn blanket and one that has planned colors as a gift. They take up a lot of space.

Recording chapters of The Book of the Dun Cow aloud. This project is fun, though I do have to muster some will to make myself do it. Dramatic reading is kind of a joy, actually, especially with this book where I have all the voices down. I’m thinking of putting up the link to the whole playlist once the book is fully recorded.

Scrapbooking. I’m so happy. I have only a fraction of this project left to do, and then everything is nicely organized into binders.

And I get very angry and frustrated and kind of despair-y when I find I can’t move forward with these. It feels ridiculous because doing creative things HELPS me feel better, but I can’t do them when I feel bad??? What kind of Catch-22 is that???

Projects I am starting to get a handle on

Basic house cleaning. Or at least floors and bathrooms and countertops. Going to try and do a little bit every day that way it doesn’t become some weekly/monthly overwhelming chore I avoid like the plague.

House decorating. I’ve started getting into this and really liking it. I found a Texan-style wreath for the front door, placed 3 different house mats, and started tacking silk ivy around the kitchen windows. I’m actually kind of proud of myself about this.

Projects I am literally flailing through

Planning a wedding. Dear God, what am I doing? In the next two weeks I need to do the final ring purchase so that something has moved forward and finished. I also need to arrange the legal marriage so our paperwork is completed in the state of our residence and there aren’t any snarls with an out-of-state ceremony. That’s the goal for the next two weeks. Also how do you decorate??? (I ask, rhetorically. I’m looking through some stuff but I think I need to simplify my idea. Maybe instead of all four seasons, just winter/spring?)

Finding a therapist. The one I called isn’t responding. Don’t know how much leeway to give. If I haven’t heard back from her by Saturday night I’m going to try calling someone else. I need to move forward with getting approval for the surgery.

Krav Maga. I’m finally back and I’m doing well with jabs and punches, but anything that requires me to squat and rise multiple times is really hard. I’m very weak there, and while squatting my leg muscles just give out. I’ve looked up a beginner’s squatting routine that I’m going to TRY to enact because I really would love to stop humiliating myself in class. Been having panic issues before class (that stop once I’m in it, because there is NO ROOM in my being to have panic when I’m constantly moving) and would like that to stop. Prayed with my fiancée on the drive over and held his hand and that helped some.

Online Writing Course. Already panicked and frozen over a super vague writing prompt that doesn’t feel like enough explanation was provided. Afraid of being judged by peers. Afraid of critiquing peers because who am I to say this is good or bad? They are all in an Official Writing Course so they MUST know better than me, right? Even if it looks like they really don’t? Frozen.

Editing Best Served Cold. Froze again. Freaked out that I wasn’t a good enough writer to edit anything and froze. Freaking…

Patreon. This is a very on and off again thing. I don’t know how to self promote except through repetition which freaks me out. I don’t know how to save good things for “just the patrons” when I want to share it all. Don’t know if I should restructure all my tiers so there’s less tiers and less offerings? Very possible.

Etsy. Nobody really looks at the listings. I don’t blame them. I’m not a self promoter and I’m not a photographer. All my stuff looks better laid out on a table to sell but I don’t know where around here to do that so for now it just decorates the house. Maybe I should give up on Etsy again and just stick with my Facebook shop. People who use Etsy are serious about their business. This is a hobby I hope to sell a bit of and give the rest away.

Socially

Krav Maga class. I connected with at least one person who’s really sweet and nice. She’s more advanced than I am for sure but helps me feel a lot more at ease and I feel the need to apologize to her a lot less.

Small Group. My fiancée and I found a small group that’s an offshoot of the church we were trying. The church is a mega-church and we’re both still very wary of that. I felt very lost in a sea of people. But this group feels like a band of very real people, expressing doubts and pain while searching in the Bible together, eating pizza, and hanging out. Meets twice a month, plus one extra day that’s just girl’s night. I am looking forward to getting to know these people 3 Mondays a month.

D&D Shabbat night. Friday nights now we (light our brand new candles!) say the blessing, and eat a meal (now home cooked because ALL OUR KITCHEN IS FUNCTIONAL, WOOOOO), then retire to the great hall to play D&D. We are currently at 1 GM and 4 players, soon to be 5 players. We’re brand new so this will be glorious.

Health

BPV. Had a round of Benign Positional Vertigo for a few weeks. Finally cleared up. At least next time I’m suddenly dizzy out of nowhere I won’t think I’m dying.

Eating. Eating is weird lately. I’m walking this really fine line between getting obsessed with my weight and not caring. I have veered hard in the direction of aggressively “not caring” most of my life, partly because I was afraid of the eating disorders my friends suffered from. I’m doing pretty well with my eating, choosing my food carefully for one-main-meal-a-day-plus-light-snacks eating and trying to keep it all under 1400 cal. I don’t have a lot of impulse control when it comes to eating so I flat out can’t keep foods in the house “just for that one treat day” because that one treat day is TODAY no matter what I say to myself. Best I can do is limit my access to those foods (including turning down SOME opportunities to go out and eat). Impulse control gets worse with wonky emotions because I will eat ALL THE FEELS. Lately my main meal is (one can) tuna salad sandwich on onion roll, which is filling enough, then I eat plums and flavored rice cakes or salted-but-not-buttered-popcorn or pickles for the rest of the day. I picked up a few small soups which look good. Came to the realization recently that I really do need to stop thinking of this as something I do “Just until I get to goal weight.” In order to maintain the healthy weight I hope to achieve, I will still need to eat well. I don’t get to let loose just because I made it. So I have reluctantly begun adopting the idea that I need to do right by my eating habits as a permanent lifestyle change. I’d like to be around longer and in order to do so I need to take better care of myself than I have been. But I can feel obsession right on the edge of my consciousness and that’s a scary feeling. I’m trying not to fall into obsession or let it drive me off the other edge of extremes to not caring. Walking the tightrope carefully.

Sleep. Sleep is weird too. Some nights I wake up a lot, then I can get up in the morning easier. Some nights I zonk out straight through and then it’s super hard to get up in the morning. Still wish that I could not be so motion sensitive. I used to be Dusty-sleeps-like-a-rock and now I’m a light sleeper. All someone has to do is call my name and I jolt up.

Trich. Been obsessively tweezing a lot more. Gaps in every eyelid. Unhappy about this.

This Blog and Processing

I don’t always know what to do on here anymore. I post fanfiction, but the part of my life that I would normally process out loud... I can’t really do that now. It actually directly impacts someone this time. Feels like words are measured with a lot more care instead of just spilling out willy nilly and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I know that things knot up inside some more, but does that mean I just need to find a different not-so-public outlet for these things? It hasn’t really worked well so far.

Ever since the beginning of the year I have wondered to myself if I am too public with things and I’ve been a step more self conscious about it (yeah, weird to say on this complete textual vomit, right? But it’s been building for a really long time and I need this) since the end of last year. I let some words get under my skin that I shouldn’t have, but they’re hard to shake because I don’t know how much objective truth is in them.

Dealing with unfamiliar feelings that I want no part of. Anger isn’t unfamiliar, but it’s unwelcome. Boundaries book says anger is a good alarm bell, but I just… don’t want to. I don’t know where the line for “good anger” is and I don’t know how to do anger without setting every bridge around me on fire. Hatred is unfamiliar and even more unwelcome. It feels like tasty, warm poison. I want it, badly. I want it as a defense against past, current, and future pain. I want to rear up and yell “Not this time!” when I see patterns from my past repeating and I want icicles dripping from my words. But it’s deeply wrong. This isn’t what the God I serve taught, and I know hatred will poison me to the core of who I am. I get that those ideas have been hackneyed to death with pop catchphrases and whatnot, but I mean… that doesn’t make it any less true. And it’s going to be really ugly and messy and I don’t want to deal with it when being ice queen would be a hell of a lot easier. Still, I don’t know how NOT to hate at this moment, so when I’m aware I give God permission to change this in me because I can’t/don’t know how to change it myself right now.

Sometimes I wish I had more to say on the Dear Someone tag, but I know who Someone is and I tell him in person every day and it’s the most beautiful, wonderful part of my life right now.

 I say a lot of negative stuff. Even if it’s true stuff, I tend to focus on processing negatives a lot. I want to figure out ways to process positive and good things. I think I’m afraid of sounding like I’m gloating or shoving good things in the face of people who are hurting. But. I also want to share the joyful things in my life. And be grateful for them publicly as I am privately. I want to rewire my brain so that the first thing that comes to mind is not what’s wrong, but what’s right. I don’t want to do this in a fakey way, that sort of front really bothers me, but there has to be some genuine way to express gratitude and joy on a more regular basis. Pain isn’t the only genuine thing there is.

I want to process publicly some of my Bible reading and I have done so, but every time I’m afraid I might be stepping on someone’s toes or making someone angry at me. I don’t want to start fights but I also want to share stuff. I don’t want to mislead people, but I want to explore.

I’m trying so hard to accept that I’m happy doing what I like, but when “doing what I like” gives out on me because I’m emotional I get so angry and upset and fearful and I wonder if I’m really okay with that at all. Or is it just my mental illness acting out, then? It’s hard to tell if that’s what’s clouding my thought process and dampening my will to act.

Misc

I feel bad that my To Do Today or Today’s Goals posts are not working for me as well as they were at the start. It feels like failure.

I feel grief and anger and uncertainty about my family situation, both immediate and extended. I still don’t know how to balance the fact that I’ve split off to start a new family (just me and my fiancée, not kids) and that this one is supposed to be my priority, while still loving the family I grew up in. Or what love looks like with distance. What I’ve been engaging in doesn’t look or feel like actual relationship.

I want to bake. I want to bake lots of sweets. Apple pies, I want to make applesauce and jam (not baking, I know), I want to make lembas bread and chocolate chip cookies and ALL OF THE THINGS.

My area is a freaking mess and I need to fix that by tomorrow. And also make Miso soup for 5.

Stressed about trying to keep all aforementioned balls in the air without melting down or losing track of any.

I think there’s more. But. I’m tired. And I need to go to bed. And this… I think this helps. I’ve shelved a lot of brain skeins tonight. Maybe I’ll be a little more productive tomorrow.

[acehotel]

Interview: Laura Berger

Photo Credit: Kate Naylor

Laura Berger is a Chicago-based multimedia artist whose work is beloved for its graphic compositions, rich hues and for reminding us that we’re all in it together. We were lucky to have her paint a mural, “Lifting the Sun,” on the Commune wall at Ace Hotel & Swim Club, and sat down to talk daily rituals, sun-lifting and Al Capone’s booth at the Green Mill cocktail lounge.

Where did the concept of the mural stem from?

Creatively, for me, ideas feel less singular and more like a stream that moves forward — but also contains stuff from the past. I’ve been working a lot with ideas of community, family and unity, and also with desert-inspired elements and color palettes. Of course, I’m also thinking about what’s going on right now in the world around me, as we all are. The title for the mural is “Lifting the Sun” and the image is about our collective interests as a community of humans, supporting each other to hold up or restore what’s good on a individual, societal or environmental level.  

When creating a work do you have the viewer in mind or is it completely self-reflective? Is there a message you’d like to convey or a feeling you wish the viewer to walk away with, or do you want to leave it up to their own interpretation?

I definitely don’t have a set thing that I’m intending — everything is open to interpretation. Painting is a way for me sort out ideas or feelings on a deeper, less cerebral level, which I hope will resonate with other people in some way. I think art in any form can be a really important way to foster empathy and a general feeling of connection. I like to paint things the way I wish they were, like an idealized sort of vision. I got into painting as a way to distract myself when I was going through a really hard period in my life so I’ve just always approached it from that angle, even when I’m feeling dark things. Since paintings take a long time to make, it’s nice for me to spend all of that time with positive or calming imagery.  

How much does context play into your work? What's the process like planning for a mural in the California desert? How much did you think about past murals on the Commune wall, or your audience of hotel guests and Palm Springs locals?  

For a public art piece, I think context can have a really big role, and it definitely had an impact for this project. Luckily in this case, my imagery and colors were already pretty well-aligned because I’ve always been in love with the desert and I draw from it a lot in my work in different ways. For the mural, I spent a lot of time sketching and working with different concepts, narrowed it down to a handful and then worked through those further with the Ace creative team. Murals are an interesting challenge because the size and shape of the wall has a lot of effect on the image you can create. Typically, when I’m working on a piece for an exhibition, I’ll create the image first and then decide what size it looks best at, so its basically approaching the creative process from the opposite direction.

What’s your process like? Do you find yourself sketching and writing on anything and everything, or do you sit in front of a blank slate and let the mood strike you?

I keep little running notebooks of ideas and visuals that pop up in my head, color combinations or interesting forms, a thought — anything that inspires me. I refer back to these when I’m going to start a new painting or series of work. I’ve always wished I was one of those people who can just sit down with a blank surface and go wild, but I spend a lot of time sketching and planning out composition before I paint. Deciding on color has always been a really natural, intuitive process for me, so that part feels more loose.

What gets the juices flowing while you work? Do you have any rituals? What are you listening to?

Lately, almost every day, I just wake up and work until I go to bed, haha! That’s not very interesting, but it’s true. I do think the necessity of deadlines helps infinitely with motivation, though it’s no less daunting. Starting work everyday always feels a little scary or intimidating — each time it’s like that moment when you sit down to start writing a paper. I literally just force myself to start and then once I do, it feels natural and i wonder why I resisted starting. I’m working for 12–15 hours most days so, for listening, I usually do a big mix: some talking (NPR, podcasts, etc), some music, some silence. I’m all over the board with music just depending on how I’m feeling. If I’m in a good place and things are going ok, I listen to more upbeat stuff — usually a lot of world music, hip hop, older reggae, and newer artists like Sylvan Esso, José González, Juana Molina (some of my current favorites) and then I do something like classical or ambient stuff if I’m stressing.

You speak of your decades-long practice of yoga in a lot of interviews, how has this impacted your day-to-day being and work? 

I think yoga philosophy is a big part of my belief system, so that definitely informs the themes and vibe of my work. I’ve been so busy the last year that I haven’t kept up with the physical practice as much as I used to. But I try to meditate as well, and I’d say both of those things help with gaining clarity, focus and a sense of calm. This year has been particularly tough for so many people and it feels like these spiritual and creative practices are important in new ways. They feel like a sort of life raft, something bigger to hang on to and find some larger, more quiet meaning.

Women and persons that share a commonality in profile make a prolific appearance in your pieces, can you speak to this? 

I guess I’m painting myself and every woman. Having them all share a common look is a way for me to take the focus off of a woman’s features and place it instead on just her presence or being. It also is a way to depict a commonality between us all.

Having studied theatre and worked as a scenographer, you got to step into a world of make-believe as an adult. A fantastical element is present in your pieces; were there any specific or defining instances that have shaped who you are as an artist and your style?

Angels In America was one of the first plays I was in, and I think it definitely had an impact on me. There’s a lot of fantastical elements woven into that play while it still deals with super heavy real-life stuff. The stylized element is a really interesting way to escape from or lighten our issues while also providing a new framework for examining them. I also love Hilma Af Klint and a lot of abstract artists like Carmen Herrera.

Are there any contemporary artists currently exciting you? 

Yes, many! I’m not sure how to choose so I’ll just pick a few : Kevin Umaña, Kathryn MacNaughton, Francisco Diaz Scotto, Lena Gustafson, Cannon Dill.

As a long-time resident of the Windy City, can you share a few of your favorites?

Place to caffeinate: Intelligentsia in Logan Square is my neighborhood coffee shop so I’m there the most; I love Sawada for their matcha and espresso drinks, so delicious; and C.C. Ferns for the great atmosphere.

Place to people watch: hanging out at the lakefront or sitting at the foot bath downtown on a hot day — you can look at the wildflower gardens, people and a good skyline view. Plus, cool your toes all at the same time.

Place to eat: Avec is probably my all-around long standing favorite, Momotaro for amazing sushi, Giant for my favorite neighborhood spot, Tank for pho or Takeya for ramen on a freezing day, Elske for cozy fireplace vibes and to visit my hubby :)

Tourist activity: The Art Institute, see some jazz at the old Green Mill club in Uptown (you can sit in Al Capone’s booth!) or blues at Rosa’s. Walking/biking/beach time at the lakefront, grab a picnic and watch a free concert on the lawn in Millennium Park — such a beautiful place to see a show.

[charterhunter529]

Family Sketch

Helen Schatvet Ullmann, CG, FASG [adapted from the author’s article in New England Ancestors 8:3 (Summer 2007):41–42, 45]

Do you have a thick file or a notebook full of information you’d like to write up for your family? Or even boxes and boxes of it? Maybe your data is in Family Tree Maker or some other program. Or maybe you’re just in the beginning stages of your research. In any case, whether you just want to write about your grandparents or compile a whole book, the basic building block is the family sketch, treating a couple and their children in an organized and interesting way. Word processing, extremely flexible, is a wonderful tool for genealogists. Remember the old days when we had to cut and paste and retype, perhaps introducing new errors as we went along? About twenty years ago, NEHGS sponsored a seminar held at the Museum of Science here in Boston. My only memory of the whole day is Alicia Crane Williams saying, “As soon as you get a little information, put it in Register style. This is part of the research process.” So I went home and on my quaint little Apple IIe began transcribing old family group sheets crammed with information. My descendants might just take them to the dump! What is a family sketch? It’s just a story with a beginning, middle, and end. The beginning is the first paragraph that contains the vital information about the parents — all of it. So, if the reader later wants to check back to see just when your great-grandmother married her second husband, it’s easy to find. The middle is whatever you want, usually a biography in chronological order. It could include funny stories or a serious analysis distinguishing between your grandfather and another fellow who bore the same name. At the end is a list of children with their vital data. You may have mentioned each child as he or she joined the family, married, or died, in the biography above, but it’s still important to have a straightforward list of children at the end. Children for whom there is a lot of information may be continued in their own sketches. You can begin with just shreds of information. I started one sketch with my mother’s memories, her grandparents’ names and the recollection that she would sit on her grandfather’s lap and braid his side whiskers — plus the fact that he was a Congregational minister. Then I listed her mother, her aunt, and her uncles, using “Conversation with . . . ” and her name and relationship in footnotes. On the other hand, I have many folders of notes gleaned in the ’70s and ’80s, b.c. (before computers). It’s fun to open one, outline the family structure, and start adding information almost at random as I go through the file. As I work, I can see where I need to bolster a statement with pertinent analysis or where I could undertake more research. Before starting to write, you might read some sections in Genealogical Writing in the 21st Century,[1] especially the pages that diagram the different elements of the parents’ and children’s paragraphs. There isn’t space here to discuss all the fine points, including numbering systems.[2] Many other matters, such as whether to use abbreviations, are really your own personal preference. Generally the fewer the abbreviations, the smoother the reading. Complete sentences, rather than lots of semicolons, also make reading easier. Now you can just start writing. But here’s a suggestion: if you are going to start from scratch (as opposed to creating a “report” from your genealogy database), go to AmericanAncestors.org. Click on the Publication tab, then on theRegister, and then under Side Links, on “Download a Register Style Template for Microsoft Word.” Then “Download the Template!” If you have Microsoft Word on your computer, a document that can function as a template will open. I won’t repeat all that the template says, but it will help you format your sketch, especially those pesky children who appear in hanging paragraphs. This template contains all the “styles” that we use in the Register, everything from title to footnotes. The word “style” here does not refer to Register “style.” It is a word-processing term that refers to the format of each paragraph. When you open Word, you will be in “normal” style, but this paragraph is being written in “body text indent.” The only difference is that the first line is indented. Hanging paragraphs for children are more complicated. These paragraphs line up roman numerals on a “right tab.” There are even styles for quotations and grandchildren. If you’ve already arranged some material and want to use that template, simply copy your work into the blank template. First select your whole document and make sure it’s in normal style. Go to “Format,” then “Style,” and select “normal.” Delete all tabs and spaces you added to format the children. After pasting your work into the new document, save it under the name you want to use. Then review the text and select the “style” for each paragraph by placing your cursor in the paragraph and choosing the style from the Format menu. There should be a little window on your toolbar that lists the styles and offers a quicker route. You can select many paragraphs at once. (A technical detail: if you want to edit the style in any way, say choosing a different font or left-justified text, go to the Format menu, choose “Style,” and click on “Modify.”) In the Register we generally use “normal” style for the first paragraph where the parents’ vital data appear. Then we switch to “body text indent” for the biography. We introduce the children with a “kid’s intro” style and then choose “kids.” When you use that style, hit tab, then the first Roman numeral and a period, then hit tab again. Both tabs will then appear, and you can start typing the child’s name. Small caps are very elegant here. Notice that we include the surname for each child. Then there’s no doubt about the surname and indexing is easier. If you want to list grandchildren, you’ll find the “grandkids” style works a little differently. No tabs needed. Just type the arabic numeral and a period. Then two hard spaces help the names line up nicely [use Control-Shift-Space]. In the Register we use italics for grandchildren’s names. Even the footnotes and footnote references have their own styles. We encourage you to cite your sources for everything. Footnotes are much handier if your readers will really use them, but endnotes may seem less intimidating. The basics of citation format are not difficult. Look at issues of the Register for examples. A current guide is Evidence!,[3] good to have at hand, but the Register often uses simpler formats. The Chicago Manual of Style is also helpful.[4] It saves time to enter the notes correctly the first time. (By the way, the footnote reference number goes after the punctuation.) A further hint about writing style: try reading your work out loud. Are you using empty phrases you would never use when talking? Can you say something more concisely? Are your sentences really sentences? Passive voice — “The ball was hit by the boy,” rather than “The boy hit the ball” — deadens the tone. And proofread, proofread, proofread. You’ll improve your sketch every time.

All the best Family Sketch Images 38+ collected on this page. Feel free to explore, study and enjoy paintings with PaintingValley.com. As I look toward shifting to a different family line in my own research, I think I’m going to take the time to write a bio sketch for the main ancestor I’ve been researching, George Washington Adams (1845-1938) before I say goodby to him for a little while. I think it should be a fun exercise. 93,432 family sketch stock photos, vectors, and illustrations are available royalty-free. See family sketch stock video clips. Family future plan group of sketch family people walking in the garden building a family sketches of future family design interior family sketch color family and money family with money thinking wall.

Finally, for the “icing on the cake,” dress up your sketch with illustrations! Insert photos, autographs, pictures of houses and gravestones, the ship on which your ancestors crossed the ocean, maps — whatever you can find. Your final product should be elegant and attractive, not just to your children but to their grandchildren and beyond.

Sidebar:

A few little tips

Commas and periods go inside a closing quote; semicolons outside.

Footnote reference numbers come after the punctuation.

Titles of published books should be italicized.

Titles of articles and unpublished materials need quotation marks.

Titles of sources such as land, probate, and vital records do not need italics or quotes unless they are published.

Proofread on another day.

Try reading your prose out loud!

Sidebar 2:

Polishing that database reports

In word processing you can discuss all sorts of nuances of dates, places, and identities wherever they seem to fit. Such additions are not so easy when working with a genealogy database. There are quite a few differences between what we consider Register style and the quasi-Register-style report generated by most genealogy programs. If you are using one of these programs, here are some things to consider.

Once you have generated a report, it will carry its own set of word-processing “styles.” You can just accept them, or eliminate all of them by selecting the whole document and putting it in “normal” style as described above, then copying it into a blank Register template. If you do so, eliminate any sex designations for the children first. (You can easily comment on any unusual name in the text or a footnote.)

Family Sketch Clipart Black And White

You should make some other changes as well. First, consider the order of the information. Do the wife’s name and vital data appear after the husband’s notes, with notes on her following? Move information on the wife into the husband’s paragraph and integrate her notes with his. Next, did you document those notes with citations in parentheses? All citations need to be moved into footnotes (or endnotes if you prefer). Multiple footnotes for the same piece of data should be combined into one note, with semicolons between the different sources. You must also consider the format of names, dates, and places. Small caps are good for names, but your report will probably have a mixture of lower and upper case. Capitalizing names of the parents of husband and wife would be distracting. Place names don’t require a county or state after first use in each sketch, but it’s helpful to the reader to add “County” where appropriate. Postal codes are also distracting. In the Register we spell out the names of months and states in the main text and abbreviate them (except those with five letters or less), with periods, in the children’s paragraph

Family Sketch Picture

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1Michael J. Leclerc and Henry B. Hoff, ed., Genealogical Writing in the 21st Century, 2nd ed. (Boston: NEHGS, 2006). 2See Joan Ferris Curran, Madilyn Coen Crane, and John H. Wray, Numbering Your Genealogy: Basic Systems, Complex Families, and International Kin, National Genealogical Society Special Publication No. 64 (Arlington, Va.: National Genealogical Society, 1999). 3Elizabeth Shown Mills, Evidence! Citation & Analysis for the Family Historian (Baltimore: Genealogical Publishing Co., 1997). The introductory sections of this book are especially valuable. 4The Chicago Manual of Style, 15th ed. (Chicago and London: University of Chicago Press, 2003).

Cartoon Drawing Of A Family

This book publishes, for the first time in full, the two most revealing of Mark Twain’s private writings. Here he turns his mind to the daily life he shared with his wife Livy, their three daughters, a great many servants, and an imposing array of pets. These first-hand accounts display this gifted and loving family in the period of its flourishing. Mark Twain began to write “A Family Sketch” in response to the early death of his eldest daughter, Susy, but the manuscript grew under his hands to become an exuberant account of the entire household. His record of the childrens’ sayings—“Small Foolishnesses”—is next, followed by the related manuscript “At the Farm.” Also included are selections from Livy’s 1885 diary and an authoritative edition of Susy’s biography of her father, written when she was a teenager. Newly edited from the original manuscripts, this anthology is a unique record of a fascinating family.

[aqua-harry]

She’s Just Not That Into You » Part II (A Harry Styles Miniseries)

Miss the first part? Find it here.

Even if Nick did piss him off, Harry couldn’t help but be proud of his best friend whenever he was awarded opportunities. He worked hard, and it was nice to see that hard work pay off in the end. So, when Nick mentioned that you were having a viewing party for his appearance on The Big Fat Quiz of the Year, Harry feared that he wouldn’t be able to celebrate the milestone with him.

“Ask her,” he demanded one afternoon.

Nick laughed, his eyes widening at Harry’s insistence. After little pleading from his friend, Nick sent a text asking you if Harry could be his plus one for the dinner party. Once he’d sent it, Harry forced Nick to show him the text for proof, figuring that it was just like him to say he’d asked you when he didn’t, instead showing up to the party with Harry anyway, thinking it was funny to throw both of you for a loop. Nick’s phone dinged minutes later, your name lighting up the screen. Your response of “Sure.” had caused Harry to go into an existential crisis, the wrinkle in his brow deep as he pulled at his lips.

“She doesn’t want me there,” he grunted. “‘m not goin’.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Harold,” Nick tried to console him, patting his head. “Go with me. I want you there, and ‘m sure she does, too.”

“Would’ve invited me in the first place if she did.”

“She’s not close with ye’,” Nick explained. “She would’ve invited you if she knew y’better, right? But she doesn’t. So I’m invitin’ ya, and I know she wants it to be everythin’ I want it to be. Even makin’ my favorite meal, so quit worryin’. You’re going.”

And, really, it wasn’t the blasé, one-word response that threw Harry off. It was the period at the end of it. So final, so complete. Sure. An exclamation point would’ve been appreciated, considering it was a party. Parties were supposed to be happy; they were supposed to be exciting, and the punctuation should match, if you asked Harry.

And yet, on the night of the party, he still picks up Nick, driving across town to your place, letting him talk his ear off while Harry focuses on the road. Hopefully, through his chatter, Nick doesn’t notice how nervous he is as he pulls at his lower lip. His oatmeal-colored sweater was appropriate, right? It was winter, after all. But Nick was wearing a typical button-up from Topman, paired with a leather jacket, and that made Harry feel bulky in his cable knit jumper. He should’ve known better - he should’ve worn that black shirt he had eyed after getting out of the shower. Stupidly, he thinks, he went for the sweater, worried that he might get cold throughout the evening and wish he’d gone for layers, rather than fashion.

“This is her building,” Nick says, breaking Harry from his self-deprecation. “Right here on the left.”

As the elevator rises higher and higher, Harry’s heart sinks further into his chest with every ding indicating that your floor was nearing. Pulling the cuffs of his sweater over his hands, he chuckles at Nick’s comment that he didn’t fully catch, his stomach dropping when the lift stops and the doors open.

“...think it’s probably more of a dog thing than a cat thing, but who knows?” Nick says over his shoulder while Harry follows him down the hallway, stopping in front of a door with a Christmas wreath hanging upon it. “How nice! She left the holiday wreath up for the cheeky viewing party!”

Harry clears his throat when Nick knocks on the door as he’s opening it, sing-songing his arrival through the laughter of the couple guests who had already arrived. It smells incredible, your apartment. A mixture of home and something else that he’d come to learn as your own unique scent wraps around Harry, and he instantly feels at ease. Following his friend’s suit, he kicks off his boots and lines them up neatly by the door, causing Nick to chuckle at his politeness.

“Always the gentleman,” he chortles, wrapping his arm around his best friend’s shoulders.

Harry chooses not to respond and instead lets himself be lead into the kitchen by Nick, where you’re carefully pulling a standing rib roast out of the oven like some sort of domestic goddess straight out of a housewares magazine.

“See?” Nick elbows Harry. “Told ye’ she can cook.”

Harry takes a second to eye your kitchen. He can appreciate how you’ve mixed the industrial feel of the appliances with the dark marble countertops, the white cabinetry bringing the room together in a way that he’d come to know as your personal style. You had a bowl of assorted fruit on the island, along with a bouquet of what looked like real flowers placed in the middle of the table that occupied the breakfast nook in the corner. He remembers reading about how you swapped counter clutter out for a simple bowl or vase when it came to your own kitchen, preferring to have your workspace clear for all of the cooking you did. It was in one of those articles that you had up on your website - one of the spreads that tried to get more personal than you were willing be - and he takes a second to remind himself not to mention how closely he’d been studying you over the holiday.

“Hi!” you grin, quickly pulling off your oven mitts and tossing them on the counter. “The man of the hour!”

“Didn’t ‘ave to go through all of this for lil ol’ me!”

“Oh, yes I did,” you laugh. “It’s not everyday one of your best friends is on the biggest show of the year!”

You kiss Nick on both cheeks, holding his face in between your palms. Harry looks on as you pull him in for a tight embrace, rubbing your fingers across the back of his neck and tucking your face into his shoulder. And, yeah, Harry will admit that it stings a little when all you do is grace your cheek against his and give a half-hug to greet him, instead of the obviously warm greeting you’d provided Nick.

“How was home?” you ask Harry. “End up getting Mum something special, then?”

He’s surprised, to say the least, that you remember whatever he was rambling about at Nick’s impromptu dinner party he’d met you at. He looks at you, your bare feet charming against the dark hardwood floors of your kitchen, your toenails painted a holiday red to match the mood. Your cheeks are a bit flushed, probably from the pressures of hosting, but you look refreshed and happy. Harry can’t help but want to kiss you, not only for remembering your previous conversation, but for looking so damn good in a simple pair of black jeans and a cream-colored blouse.

“Yeah,” he nods. “She loved it.”

“I’m glad,” you smirk, patting his shoulder before reverting your attention back to Nick.

Harry grumbles to himself in his head as he follows you and Nick, linked arms and all, into your living room. A pat on the shoulder? You might as well be wearing a chastity belt with a sign that read, “Anyone but Harry Styles!” in bold black letters pinned to your front. He hadn’t a chance with you - not a single one - so he might as well just give it up now. Throw in the towel and never look back.

When he enters the living room, three people he doesn’t know look up, including a clean-cut man who introduces himself as Cam. As he’s shaking everyone’s hand, he can’t help but notice the familiar scent of cinnamon enveloping the room. He scans the area until he spots it - a Diptyque candle lit in the center of your coffee table.

“You know about Diptyque?” he asks, not paying any mind to whatever conversations may have been going on around him. “They’re my favorite!”

“They’re the best,” you nod. “Can I get you something to drink? Stocked the bar…”

While you fix Nick and Harry their requested drinks - vodka soda for the older one and straight whiskey for the boy - Harry inspects your living room, noticing your vintage tour posters from the likes of Pink Floyd and the Eagles, tastefully framed and hanging on the largest wall of the room. He wondered if you just liked the look of the art or if you actually listened to the bands. Figuring you weren’t the type to choose something like a tour poster just for the aesthetic of it, he ponders your possible music tastes. The large bookcases that fit into the wall like they were made for it - were they? - house more books than Harry had ever seen in a home. A full set of encyclopedias, dictionaries, and every other periodical imaginable rests upon the shelves, and Harry enjoys picturing you delicately opening each atlas and planning on where to travel next. Humming, he sits down next to Nick on the plush velvet sofa that’s decorated with a bounty of throw pillows.

“Love the new rug,” Nick comments, running his sock-clad feet over the high-pile material. “Where’s the old one! Said I wanted it when you were bored of it.”

“I’ve got it,” Cam, the well-dressed man speaks up from his spot on one of two armchairs. “She gave it to me, mate.”

“Figures she’d give you her rug before I got a chance at it.”

Harry is immediately envious when the three of you - Cam, Nick, and yourself - erupt in laughter. He smiles, accepting his whiskey from you with a nod and a small thanks, keeping a keen eye on Cam.

He settles into the couch, observing and listening, smiling and nodding whenever the conversation called for it. Normally, he was the center of attention. Normally, people looked to him to keep the conversation going. Normally, he didn’t have to feel awkward about not exactly knowing anyone. But, tonight was different. It was about Nick, and even though Harry had met you and a handful of the other guests who hadn’t shown up yet, he didn’t want to outshine his best friend in his moment of glory.

And, maybe...maybe he didn’t want to say anything that would embarrass himself in front of you.

You seem to be the perfect host, putting out a charcuterie board with beautiful meats, cheeses, and chutneys to occupy the guests who continue to arrive - the final number totalling twelve, by Harry’s count. You have a propensity to please, sitting on the arms of the couches and armchairs instead of fully settling in, offering to refill everyone’s drinks without coming across as pushy. You stock the platter with more options whenever it was looking sparse, encouraging everyone to eat more, as eating a fancy meat and cheese plate by yourself would be too depressing to bear.

When you announce that dinner is ready, everyone begins to move to the dining room as you apologize for having to split up the party - you don’t have a table big enough to sit thirteen, so some guests will have to sit at the smaller breakfast nook in your kitchen while the majority of guests will be sat at the large dining table.

“Loo?” Harry whispers to Nick, and he points down the hallway in response. “Thanks. Be right back.”

He knocks on the door, frowning when he finds it occupied. He leans against the opposite wall, picking at his nails while he waits. You appear at the other side of the corridor, stopping abruptly in front of another doorway, gripping the wooden frame to pause and look at Harry in question.

“Occupied,” he smiles, pointing to the closed bathroom door.

“You can use the one in my bedroom,” you point in front of you.

“Oh,” Harry stutters, walking forward and then stopping himself. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course,” you nod, beckoning him over. “Just in here to the right,” you indicate with your hand, stepping aside so he can enter the room.

He thanks you quietly, noticing as he closes the door that you leave the room to give him privacy. He takes his time scanning the small powder room, noticing how organized it is, with your toiletries lined up neatly and the hand towels folded perfectly. He smiles at the small Diptyque candle next to your hand cream, this one rose-scented instead of the cinnamon fragrance that was burning in your living room. When he washes his hands, he takes note of how soft the towels are and how lovely the soap smelled. He flicks off the light, stepping back into your bedroom, smelling the lingering aroma on his hands.

Before he heads back to the party, he walks into your room, inspecting the details of your life. Yet again, a candle is lit on your dresser - pomegranate, now - next to a small vase of fresh flowers. He’d seen fresh flowers in your living room and kitchen, as well. He wondered if you always had real bouquets around, or if you’d wanted them for the party. He hopes it’s the former as he pictures you walking into a small flower shop every Monday, excited as you pick out a new arrangement for the week, thanking the florist you were on a first-name basis with.

A small stack of books occupies your nightstand, causing Harry to smile at the thought of you not being able to decide which one to read first. A pair of glasses sits on top of them, and he questions what you look like with them on. Do you need them only to read, or do you wear contacts during the day, switching them out for your glasses at night? Your bed looks comfortable - too comfortable - and for a moment, Harry allows himself to imagine what it would be like waking up next to you under the delicate white linens, your warm body stretching out against his own while you convince him to stay under the covers for a bit longer...

Whiskey serving as his bravery, he steps further into your room and stands in front of the vast bookcases that were clearly custom-built. Matching the shelves in your living room - save for the white-washed wood instead of the deep cherry that was in the hub of your apartment - he smirks as he inspects the items you’d placed upon display with intent. Not only were the shelves filled with books of every size, color, and genre, you’d also integrated frames sporting pictures of you and your friends or family, along with other mementos from your life.

He looks over those frames, trying to get a feel of who was most important to you. It seems as though you had siblings - maybe a sister and a brother. There’s a picture of you and what looks to be a younger version of yourself on either side of a tall man who shares your smile, all in front of a Christmas tree. Had the picture been taken back in Devon? He hopes he’d eventually become close enough to you to find out who everyone in each picture was. Maybe even be featured in a couple, if he’s lucky enough.

“Like what you see?” your voice coming from behind startles him. Lightly grasping his chest, he turns around and hopes his skin doesn’t look too flushed. He’d been caught.

“Don’t think ‘ve ever seen so many books outside of a library before,” Harry saves himself, pointing towards the bookshelf as if he needed evidence. 

You speak briefly about your collection, knowing that it probably isn’t healthy to have so many books, especially when it was time to move. But, you’d said, they were a comfort. And you had read most of them. Some were there just because they were a good deal or they were gifted to you. You’d tried to get rid of some, you explained to Harry, but they had become an extension of your home - almost like they were a permanent fixture - so you’d kept them, regardless of how much space they took up.

“And you always have fresh flowers?” Harry inquires. “Or is it just for the party?”

“Always,” you smile. “Don’t think a room is complete without them, really. The florist down the way from my shop - his name’s Raul - he always gives me a good deal.”

Of course he does, Harry thinks to himself. Must have everyone under your spell.

“C’mon,” you motion your head towards the door. “Let’s get some meat on those bones.”

Dinner begins and Harry is unsurprised to find that everything is delicious. He’s sat at the larger table with Nick while you sit in the kitchen next to Cam. He’s almost thankful that he can’t see the two of you from his position, but every now and then, he’ll hear your distinct bubbly laughter which causes a pang in his chest. He’s not the one getting such a reaction out of you.

But did he even have the right to?

After dinner, once everyone is settled back into the living room to watch Nick on the television, you busy yourself with making tea and coffee for everyone. You pop up from your position on the couch during a commercial break, nearly running into the kitchen so you can quickly return to the party without missing any of the show.

“Need any help?” Harry peeks his head into the kitchen, endeared with how quickly you’re plating small pastries onto a ceramic tray.

“Yes!” you sigh, thankful for his offering. “Could you grab a spoon out of that drawer?” you point vaguely with your elbow, your hands preoccupied with petit fours.

He nods, opening the wrong drawer, hearing you audibly wince from behind him. You quickly wipe your hands on the tea towel next to you, placing soft hand on Harry’s shoulder while you reach to open the proper drawer.

“Now you know one of my dirty little secrets,” you smirk, winking at him as you pull a spoon from the cutlery drawer. “Everyone’s got one, yeah?”

He doesn’t know whether you’re talking about a dirty secret or the junk drawer, but he agrees anyway, as the only thing he’s able to properly focus on is how good you smell. You’d only been pressed up against him for a millisecond, but he’d give nearly anything to feel you that close once more.

It might be the drinks he’s consumed over the last couple of hours, or it may be your perfume completely mystifying him, or even all of the blood rushing to his crotch that he hopes to god you don’t notice, but Harry somehow gains enough courage to ask you - right then and there - to work with him on decorating his new house. Neglecting the fact that the house wasn’t even technically his yet, he blurts out the request, hoping that his broker is cinching the deal on the new property as he speaks.

“Sure, sure,” you nod, licking a bit of cream off of your thumb. “Call the store and Megan will take care of you. Set up an appointment and all that,” you slide past him and rifle through your junk drawer, which is less of a junk drawer and more of an organized catch-all. “Here’s my card.”

And while Harry is somewhat disappointed you didn’t give him your personal cell phone number, you’re professional, and he respects that. You’d had no indication that he was looking for something more than an interior designer, and if he’d learned anything during his time off, it was that he should take what he can get, in terms of most things.

Nick runs the rest of the evening, giving the party guests the play-by-play of what happened during commercial breaks. Harry’s proud of his friend - he can tell that he’s comfortable in this setting of people Harry has never met, which opens up another side of Nick he’d never seen before. A tasteful, more refined side, and Harry decides that it’s all because of you, whether that’s true or not.

Cam stands up almost immediately after the show is finished, announcing that he was in for a long day tomorrow. He shakes Nick’s hand and gives him a pat on the back before bidding goodbye to Harry. Harry sticks out his hand, noticing that Cam hadn’t offered his own first, and tells him that it was nice to meet him. The conventional man smiles and nods his head but doesn’t say anything in response - no, “You too, Harry.” or, “Likewise, mate.”

It ruffles Harry’s feathers a bit, although he’s not certain why.

He watches as you say goodbye to Cam on the outskirts of the party, but thanks to Nick’s boisterous cackling, he can’t hear the entire conversation. He does, however, catch Cam’s question of, “Still on for coffee tomorrow?” with a confirmation from you, followed by a kiss on the cheek and a tight squeeze, your head tucking into his shoulder.

With fully-ruffled plumes, Harry turns away from the intimate exchange and pretends to follow whatever topic the conversation had turned to. It’s a strange feeling for him - jealousy, was it? - and he’s not quite sure how to handle it. He certainly had no right to feel this way. No claim was made upon you by him, and you had definitely not staked one on him.

But, there was an undeniable pit in his stomach, indicating that he wanted that right. Harry wanted to be allowed to feel jealous. He wanted to be wary of every straight man within the tri-city area because he knew what a great catch you are and you were all his. He wanted to put his arm around your waist when he found others staring at you, wondering if they had a shot. He wanted to be the one to kiss you goodnight and confirm plans for coffee the next morning. He wanted to know whether your coffee order was contingent on the weather, or if you got the same drink year-round.

He wanted to be in Cam’s place, even if the man didn’t have the ability to be polite to someone he’d just met.

“Ready to go?” Nick asks him an hour later, after you’d begged them not to help you clean up, instead offering to make them another drink along with some light conversation.

“Yeah,” Harry nods. His desire to stay in your apartment any second longer had left as soon as he saw the way you laughed at whatever Cam had whispered in your ear.

And even though Harry had no right to be jealous - even though he barely even knew you, save for the glimpse into your world he received from looking at your bookshelves - he wanted to know you. He’d not felt anything resembling what he’d felt that night for, quite frankly, years.

As Nick thanks you for the party, giggly and clearly intoxicated, a book on the shelf next to Harry catches his eye. He thumbs the binding, tilting his head to read the title. A Little Life. He carefully removes the large novel, running his palm over the agonized face of the man on the cover.

“Have you read that?” you ask once Nick has successfully put his shoes on.

“No,” Harry shakes his head, looking up. “Been meaning to, though. My sister read it last year and wanted me to, but I never got around to it.”

“It’s one of my favorites,” you raise your eyebrows.

“One of hers, too,” he smiles, flipping through some of the pages. “Can I…”

He stops himself, not knowing if he knew you well enough to be borrowing your favorite books. But, then again, he was going to be seeing you a lot after he makes the appointment, so he looks up and gains momentum from your inquisitive smile.

“Would you mind if I borrowed it?”

“Of course,” you nod. “Just be sure to tell me what you think of it.”

His heart jumps in his chest with the certainty that yes, he will be seeing you again and yes, you will have something to talk about other than paint samples and cabinet finishes. He can hardly wait to get home and begin reading, picturing how excited you’ll look as you talk about your favorite parts in one of your most-loved books, maybe even over a cappuccino in a small cafe.

Tucking the book underneath his arm, he leads his best friend out of your apartment, waving goodbye to you with a knowing smile as Nick babbles on about one thing or another in slurred words, the alcohol he’d consumed making his accent thicker than usual.

“How well d’you know Cam?” Harry asks Nick as he drives away from your building.

“New friend,” he shrugs, tapping his fingers against the door.

“Mmm,” Harry gives a short nod.

“Why?” Nick hiccups.

“Wasn’t all that nice,” he shrugs.

“Nice t’me.”

“Well, she deserves someone who’s nice t’everyone,” Harry tries to mask his contention with a cough, running his index finger under his nose as he furrows his brow.

“‘arry,” Nick groans, running his hands down his face. “Ye’ really want ‘er that bad?”

“Why’re you yelling?” Harry avoids his best friend’s concentrated gaze as he turns a corner, speeding up as he drives down the less-crowded side street.

“Scale o’ one-to-ten.”

“‘m not gonna scale it.”

“Do it!”

“‘m not going to scale it,” Harry repeats, more forcefully this time. Sure, he introduced the two of you, but he had no right to demand such information out of him. Harry didn’t owe anything to Nick, regardless of how close the two of them were.

“Thought ye’ didn’t like ‘er.”

“I don’t,” the green-eyed driver frowns.

“Then why does it matter if Cam is nice to e’ryone or not?” Nick slurs.

“I don’t ‘av to like her to think she deserves t’be with someone nice.”

Nick’s quiet then, mulling over the thought of Harry concerning himself with the man you wind up with. Harry will be the first to admit that it looks suspicious - his want for you to be with someone respectful and kind - but even if he didn’t have a certain keenness for you, he would still want you to end up with a man who was pleasant on all accounts.

That’s just the kind of person Harry was.

“Issat why ye’ asked for th’ book?” Nick chortles, slapping his hand down on the center console. “‘Cause y’wanted t’ see ‘er again?”

“‘m gonna see her again without the book,” Harry clears his throat. “Made plans to meet with her for m’new house. Thinking she’s going to be th’ right fit.”

“Mmm, yeah,” Nick shakes his head. “Sure is gonna be th’ right fit.”

Harry makes a point of not saying much else for the rest of the drive, answering Nick with sounds and one-word answers rather than anything incriminating that he could use against him in the future. He shakes his head as he watches his friend fumble with the keys to his front door, waving wildly at him from the threshold while Harry drives away.

On the way back to his place, he replays the evening in his mind, wondering if he should’ve done anything differently. It had ended well, save for the exchange between you and Cam. What had he said that made you laugh so beautifully? Would Harry ever be able to elicit such a sound from you? He wonders, with a wrinkle in between his eyebrows, if he should’ve been more charming - he should’ve made more jokes, he should’ve been more insistent on helping you clean up the mess from dinner...he shouldn’t have snooped.

His house is dark when he arrives, the lack of light only magnifying how empty it was; how very much alone he was. He fantasized about how easy it would be to come home to you, lounging on his couch and telling him that you’d saved some dinner for him. He’d kiss the top of your head before walking into the kitchen, shouting to you over his shoulder, questioning about how your day had gone.

As he gets ready for bed, Harry recalls the hug you gave him goodbye, reminding him to call your office to set up an appointment. He memorized the way your cheek felt against his and how you squeezed his bicep before stepping away.

He could tell, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he’d already become addicted to that feeling. That want. That need. And he was looking forward to getting to know it very, very well.

[homelilys]

Wicker circle chair Placement

It doesn’t matter how big or how small your house is, what matters is how well you have decorated your house. Having a well-furnished small apartment is far better than having a big home which is difficult to maintain. The domain of “well-furnished” is not only limited to fresh-smelling paint and lavish woodwork but also includes modern styled furniture. Today, the market is full of eye-pleasing furniture that includes unique shaped sofas, round couches, solid wood coffee tables and edgy armchairs decorated with royal looking cloth and fine motifs.

But are you someone who loves to sit on a bean bag to do office work or just to relax? Are you someone who looks for modern furniture with a plus point of extra comfort? Then you are in the right place. I’m going to introduce you to a chair that is going to provide you the comfort of a bean bag but will last much longer than it. It is called wicker circle chair.

Wicker chairs or furniture are made up of rattan. Rattan is a naturally renewable palm that grows in the tropical regions of Asia and Australia. In Asia, rattan furniture is very common and is an invaluable part of rural people’s livelihoods, especially in South and Southeast Asia. In Bali and Maldives, you might find rattan furniture in top-notch resorts and hotels. One basic rattan product that is used by people of rural areas, as well as urban areas in Asia, is rattan baskets. Nowadays, Rattan furniture which includes sofas, tables, bookshelves, cupboards and much more is gaining fame across the globe due to its unique look and dazzling appearance. In the United States, rattan and cane furniture have become a lighter option for the heavy furnishings being produced. It is regularly being used indoors and outdoors.

Rattan furniture’s cost varies from being very reasonable to a little expensive, but not as expensive as wooden furniture. Also, rattan wicker furniture comes into multiple variants thus gives you a vast choice to choose from.

The round wicker chair also comes into different sizes and has multiple variants. Let’s look at them.

Papasan Natural Rattan Wicker Rocking Round Chair

  This papasan swivel chair would instantly enhance the look of your living room. You can place it next to a deep red painted wall or in the favorite corner of your room. You will certainly enjoy its comfort. Please note that it is a single person chair. It combines a sustainable rattan frame with exclusive rattan weaving. It is lightweight enough to be moved easily yet stable and sturdy so as not to tip over easily. The best thing about this chair is that it usually comes with a plain fully tufted huge cushion which adds to its comfort.

Usually, rattan products are perfectly made up of good quality products and are crafted in a very fine manner, but they demand a bit extra care than wooden furniture. If you are interested to buy one, then you can buy it from here at Amazon.

Java Lounge Swivel Rocking Chair with Cream Cushion Natural Rattan Wicker Handmade, Colonial

~Natural Rattan (Wicker)

~Color: Colonial

~Sizes of the chair: Height 39"x Length 33"x Width 28"

~Some assembly required

~Eco-friendly

$249.99

Buy on Amazon

Vintage Wicker Cone Chair

A person always drools over great design, from fashion to furniture. He is always in search of things that provide him comfort yet look fashionable and trendy. Designers usually take their inspiration from ancient, vintage goods and try to create a new product that is a composition of several vintage ideas. One such design is of this wicker chair.

The sitting portion of the chair is handmade from sturdy wicker while the legs are made up of solid wrought iron. The hairpin-shaped legs of this chair give it a modern look. This chair also serves for one person sitting.

This chair is perfect to be placed in front of a chinoiserie painted wall or even outdoor on the terrace. To your choice, you can place this chair in your study room as well, near the window so that you can enjoy reading your favorite books with extra concentration and comfort. You can also make a vintage corner in your house where you can hang some monochrome pictures of family on the wall. Put any vintage instrument like a music player on the table and place this chair alongside the table.

If you own a big home with more surface area in a bathroom, you can place this wicker cone chair in a corner, in front of your bathtub with some towels, scented candles and artificial planters on it to present vintage and organized look. But this is very superficial to say because we don’t own large living spaces like Kylie Jenner and has small or normal sized bathrooms.

To add more style, you can place printed square-shaped cushions or can place a fur cloth on this chair. It is preferred that you place vibrant colored cushions on it to enhance the look of the chair.

Ebony Wicker Egg Chair Placement in small living room

This is just another design of a wicker chair that will catch your eyes. The sitting portion of the chair is of black color and is made up of rattan material weaved in wicker style in a round shape. The back is a little long and is bent backward to give you extra support and comfort. The legs of the chair are made up of wood and extend outwards. The overall appearance of the chair is attractive and elegant.

This chair is perfect to be placed in a pair of two with a wicker table in the center. You can place them in your living room in front of light-colored chiffon/net curtains. The other option for placing this chair is to place it as a single chair in front of a vibrant-colored wall such as yellow, sky blue, turquoise etc. with a wooden floor lamp on the side. You can also place this type of chairs in your office or in waiting areas of beauty salons and nail bars.

If you can’t find the same, you might find a nearly similar variant of it easily in various stores or online.

as seen on country living

Peacock Inspired Wicker Chair

The bird peacock also called as peafowl, is of high importance in Asian culture. The Greeks learned of the peacock only after Alexander the Great’s conquest – Aristotle called it a Persian bird. It has beautiful blue-eyed feathers tail which, in Indian culture, symbolizes wealth and prosperity. In decorative art, it symbolizes dignity and beauty. Before the invention of writing pens, peacock feathers were used for writing purposes. In Asian crafts, you will frequently find peacock inspired crafts.

Since rattan wicker furniture has a strong association with Asian countries, you will find peacock inspired variants in it as well. The peacock chair started as a photography prop before becoming a symbol of a movement. The peacock chair has taken its seat in history, supporting not only the backsides of the rich and famous but also playing a key part in the Black Panther movement. The intricate design is one that has made its way in and out of fashion throughout the ages.

To give your home a cultural yet modish look, this natural colored, peacock-inspired wicker chair/sofa is the perfect fit. It is totally made up of rattan material with a seat of wicker weaving and is thus very light weight to move around. The multiple legs of the chair not only give it extra support but also enhances its beauty.

You can place it indoor, in your TV lounge in front of a plain white wall, or near your green house with a green background. To enhance the look, place either one or three differently printed but similar colored cushions on it. Also, if you are not going to use it much for sitting purposes, you can place small artificial planters in the corner of its sitting area for decoration.

chinoiserie painted wall with a peacock chair.

You can buy these peacock chairs on etsy or amazon.

1950s Mid Century Modern Wicker Chair

Mid-century style takes us back to a time of renewal as post-war America suburbanized, although its era covers pre-world war II through the 1960s. If you’re looking to add a smidge of the space age to your space, consider starting with basic accent pieces. This two-seater sofa made up of classic wood-colored rattan weaved in wicker style can be right at home in the living room or bedroom next to your clear glass window.

Its kidney bean-shaped seat with curvy armrests and mid-length arch-shaped back gives it a unique royal look. The bottom of this chair is also made up of rattan strands twisted in V-shape to present a modish look.

To make the seat more comfortable, add soft but thin cushions on the seats and thick pillows, embellished with thread tassels, on the back.

Since it is completely made up wicker, it would demand some extra care. I would suggest you not to put it in front of the window where sunlight falls directly. Also make sure, when buying, that the bottom has rubber pads so that the material couldn’t directly get in contact with the floor.

You can buy this mid-century wicker chair from chairish.com. It is listed as $1750 at the moment.

Southport patio egg wicker chair

The Southport patio egg chair is a fun and unique addition to any outdoor or indoor living space. Large circular-shaped with metal legs and visually interesting enough to stand on its own, it can also still fit into a larger arrangement with ease. This wicker egg chair with cushions supports you from every angle, making it the perfect place to curl up with a good book or podcast.

Combined with warm textiles, natural wood, and bright vibrant or plain white walls, the Egg wicker chair can help your room combine farmhouse and shabby-chic styles.

You can buy this Southport patio egg wicker chair on Amazon by clicking here.

Hanging Wicker Chair

Treat yourself to a time out in a hanging chair. A hanging wicker chair is surely a showstopper and is all you need to spend your leisure time on while reading a book or chilling casually. A hanging wicker chair is usually completely made up of rattan material and is round with no pointed edges. The weaving style is often different which lets you choose your favorite design from a wide range. Due to the variance of craftsmanship going into each chair, every piece has individualism and uniqueness in some of the pattern detailing.

The most common and easily available pattern of a hanging wicker chair is reminiscent of tree branches intersecting each other creating small squares throughout. The borders are curvy, and the core frame is standard to ensure consistency in shape and comfort. The sitting portion of the chair is a little deeper on the inside to give you a cozy cocoon-like feel. It will embrace your body with its nest-like form.

These chairs usually come with big tufted cushions that fit on the seats but if they don’t, then you can place several printed pillows and cushions on it in order to make it comfortable.

A hanging chair for couples

If you are a couple who loves to cuddle on cold cozy evenings, then this iconic double seater hanging wicker chair can be your new favorite place to embrace each other’s presence. It is usually oval and offers enough surface area for two people to sit and relax. The cavernous sitting area of the chair lets you and your partner sink back thus creating a cradling effect.

As found on Alibaba

Another design of a hanging wicker chair is this more basic seat-like design. It is less relaxing than the previous two mentioned but looks very chic when hung anywhere in your house specifically where natural sunlight strikes more. This basic brown colored chair hung with a natural-colored rope gives a boho-chic look.

This is a flower pattern cushion on a couple’s wicker chair. As seen on yoycart

Wicker hanging chair with stand

If you want to buy them mainly for outdoor purposes, then I would suggest the one that is made up of luxurious synthetic rattan fiber. It doesn’t get ruined by rain or sunlight. Woven texture, gentle curves, and organic appeal enhance the modern look of this outdoor swing. Its egg shape makes it an eye-catching addition by the pool or on the lawn. Its all-weather cushion wears a machine-washable cover that’s both water and fade resistant granting lasting comfort. Because it is made up of synthetic rattan, it comes into different colors like black, white, red other than the natural rattan color.

You can buy this Southport patio egg wicker chair on Amazon by clicking here.

Where to place wicker hanging chair?

They are ideal for outside use and look gorgeous on a deck, patio, hanging with a rope from a branch of a tree. You can also hang them from the ceiling of your TV lounge with a heavy-duty chain to bring the summer swing feeling inside the house.

Except for hanging it with the ceiling, you can buy a wicker hanging chair with stand (either 1 stand or 2 stands) for giving extra stability and adjustable spring kit. The benefit of this stand is that when it’s sunny you can bring your chair to the poolside or garden; if it’s warm but rainy, take it to your porch, and if it’s cold and snowy outside, just bring it in and enjoy your comfy hanging chair in the warmth of your living room or bedroom.

You can also hang single person chairs in a pair of two in your terrace or in your sitting lounge with a rattan made wicker table in the center having a nice vintage table mats on it.

Round wicker dining chairs placement

Wicker and rattan dining chairs are ideal for a classic country look, bringing back the warmth and elegance of the past, but they also have enough contemporary flair to perfectly fit modern interior designs. And if you get a little bored with their natural look, you can easily give them a color makeover and use them as accent chairs.

I strongly prefer indoor and outdoor vintage setting, so this collection of wicker rattan chairs couldn’t be passed up by me. If you also like wicker furniture, then this set of dining chairs may prove to be a special proposition for you. Classic wicker weave design with arched backs and slightly sloping arms, carefully profiled back thus providing support for the spine and completed with soft, tufted seat cushions of your favorite color is a must-have.

You can place these chairs in a set of six or eight around a simple rectangle-shaped wooden dining table either in the kitchen, TV lounge, terrace or in the backyard of your house.

Event decor with wicker furniture

Celebrating small events like engagement ceremonies, bridal shower or birthday parties at home not only proves to be budget-friendly but also gives you more nostalgic moments. Adding a bit of small elements like flowers or fairly lights can give you a photo-perfect and chic décor.

If you’re searching for a way to bring earthy touches to your engagement décor, you need to look for materials made from natural sources. If you were planning a rustic event, you might lean towards unfinished, oaky woods, but if you’re preparing for a bohemian-inspired affair, all you want is to bookmark rattan goods. For example; these two peacock chairs, placed in front of a rattan room divider with a string of flowers hanging over the divider is a perfect place for you and your better half to exchange the rings at. It is also creating the perfect backdrop for your special day portraits.

Moreover, for creating DIY photobooths on your bridal shower, you can also decorate your hanging wicker chair with multiple strings of artificial flowers that match your dress code and battery-operated fairy lights.

As seen on phillymag: beautiful decor for a wedding by using peacock wicker chair. Nice photo-shoot with wicker furniture.

Where to buy round wicker chair and its cushion?

If you are living in Asia, then you can easily buy these wicker chairs from nearby shops. In some parts of Asian countries, there are big markets which has multiple shops of wicker furniture. They not only have a wide variety of ready-made wicker chairs but also offer you a made-to-order option so that you can get your desired design and shape.

In the USA, you can buy these from order one from Amazon.com because there are not so many shops which offer you your desired design. While in UK, and Europe, you can buy these from your nearby IKEA store but again, they do not offer multiple variants. So, Amazon.com is the best option to buy these chairs at a reasonable price with the assurance of good quality products.

SaleBestseller No. 1

Blazing Needles Solid Twill Swivel Rocker Chair Cushion, 48" x 24", Indigo

Includes: One (1) Cushion only; Swivel Rocker Chair Frame NOT INCLUDED

Dimensions: swivel rocker cushion: 48 inches wide x 24 inches deep x 6 inches high

This item is Made in the USA and imported

$40.93

Buy on Amazon

SaleBestseller No. 2

Del Mar Outdoor | Wicker Stacking Chairs | Set of 2 | Perfect for Patio | MultiBrown

The del Mar outdoor wicker chair comes in a set of two allowing you and your guest to comfortably relax outdoors. Made of sturdy powder coated Steel frame with faux wicker, these seats are sure to withstand the outdoor elements.

Includes (2) stacking chairs

Materials: Multibrown faux wicker over a sturdy powder coated Steel frame

Dimensions: 24"D x 24"W x 32.25"H, Seat Height: 16.75", arms Height: 24.25"

No assembly required

$175.82

Buy on Amazon

How about round wicker chair cushion?

Like a physical rattan chair, you can buy these round chair cushion online. For ease of simplicity, I’ve collected the top three here for you to check out.

Bestseller No. 1

Sigmat Memory Foam Seat Cushion Anti-Slip Soft Round Stool Cushion Chair Pad 16 Inch Navy Blue

Materials: Cover:86% Polyester,14% Nylon. Filling: Memory foam. Size: Diameter :16.5”/42cm, Thickness: 2”/5cm

Safety, Anti-slip granules backing to hold the cover in place

Cover can be easily removed for machine wash or hand wash

It can also be used on office chairs, desk chairs, dining chairs, car seat and airplane.

Spoil yourself with memory foam comfort. Comfortable & supportive foam which will not flatten under weight to provide all day long support.

$20.98

Buy on Amazon

Bestseller No. 2

OSP Designs Papasan Chair, Black

Updated Classic Papasan design

Tufted Cushion for comfort. Maximum Seat Height (in.)- 16.5. Weight Capacity (Pounds.)- 200

Woven polypropylene wicker over Steel frame

Great for homes, dorms, apartments

Casual seating

$155.43

Buy on Amazon

SaleBestseller No. 3

Pillow Perfect Outdoor/Indoor Alatriste Ivory Tufted Seat Cushions (Round Back), 19" x 19", Floral, 2 Piece

Includes two (2) outdoor wicker seat cushions, resists weather and fading in sunlight; Suitable for indoor and outdoor use

Plush Fill - 100-percent polyester fiber filling

Sewn Seam Closure

Easy Care - lightly spot clean or hand wash outdoor cushion fabric with mild detergent and cool water; then let air dry

Measures: 19-inch length X 19-inch width X 5-inch depth (measurements may vary up to 1-inch since item is handcrafted)

$34.99

Buy on Amazon

How to take care of rattan made products

Every masterpiece demands some extra care that helps it to last longer than expected. The same is the case with rattan made products. Whether you choose to display your rattan indoors or outdoors, you need to learn a few important caring tips. Here are some methods that you can follow to take care of the product:

Clean the surface regularly. A monthly or even weekly cleaning is the best way to protect your rattan furniture and prevent major damage.

Use your vacuum’s brush attachment on woven panels and furniture crevices. A dry brush with a medium bristle can also be used for cleaning by hand.

Use detergent and a cloth to scrub out stains as soon as they occur. For more serious damage like cracking or splitting of the wood, try boiled linseed oil to put moisture back into the material.

Do NOT drag wicker chairs around whose bottoms are also made up of fiber. Doing so will result in the splitting of fibers.

Use felt pads or rubber stoppers to protect the feet of cane and rattan furniture.

Natural plant fibers require a certain level of humidity. Keep furniture away from areas of severe heat as this can warp or dry out the furniture.

Rattan fibers can fade in strong light. This is a natural process and not necessarily bad. However, if possible, rotate furniture on a regular basis to evenly distribute the fading.

Treat the rattan or cane with boiled linseed oil and raise the humidity level of the space if any splitting occurs due to dryness.

The post Wicker circle chair Placement appeared first on Homelilys Decor.

Source: https://homelilys.com/furniture/wicker-circle-chair/

[loggedonlove]

long ask post

so i just rbed this post with questions to ask about ones s/o or crush. i rly wanna answer them all but no one on my main cares and even if they did i wouldn’t wanna spam them. but the good thing abt this blog is only like 3 ppl follow me so i can shout my adoration as much as i want and it does not matter :D so i’m just gonna answer all the questions under the cut and if anyone sees this and wants to read it, though i doubt they will, they can! (i already answered two on my main so those’ll just be copy and pasted)

1. describe them in 3 words

cute, funny, sweet

2. their favorite style of clothing?

he looks like a walking hollister ad lmao like i see his style and i just think hollister/abercrombie/zumies. lots of striped tops, dark jeans, not hoodies but like long sleeved shirts with hoods that he doesn’t ever use, converse, and many dad hats that he wears backwards

3. what mannerisms do they have?

i can’t really think of any besides the fact that he shakes a lot. he’s really skinny and he shakes when he’s either cold or nervous, or just in general

4. do they play an instrument?

he doesn’t yet but he really wants a piano keyboard for christmas that’s like the only thing he wants so that he can learn how to play

5. how did you meet/become introduced to them?

(copied from my main)  this is not a long story that may become long due to my unneeded context: we have 2 classes together this fall semester, but he sits behind me in both (directly behind me in one, a few rows back in the other) so i essentially had 0 idea he existed since i just go to class to learn & ignore the people around me unless i’m spoken to. genuinely the first time i ever noticed him was a month into classes, i accidentally grabbed the wrong paper & he was like “hey celeste, this one’s yours” & i was like “oh thank you” then went abt my business. but later that same class we had been in the computer lab & as we were packing up to leave he made a comment abt how my computer’s time was different than everyone else’s so i said some dumb shit like “haha yeah i broke it” then just immediately walked away because i had a class to get to (ironically the other class i shared with him). as i learned later he had been trying to start a conversation so as i was walking to my next class he caught up with me & just continued talking. all i remember was being like “wow this dude’s persistent.” i definitely came off as rude though bc the entire time he was talking to me i kept looking at my phone bc i was logging into our textbook. it was then i found out he was in that class too, & then it took me like another week to figure out his name because i didn’t remember it from the introductions during the first week. but it all worked out because we’re dating now 🤷🏻‍♀️

6. favorite thing they’ve ever said/texted/messaged?

honestly he says the sweetest things to me all the time it’s so hard to choose. i remember before we dated though he said i looked lovely and i was just like *heart eyes*

7. what do you like doing with them?

anything, legit anything. he could call me and be like “hey wanna come watch paint dry with me” and i would be like “hell yes.” i just enjoy spending time with him. but i also really like cuddling him, i could for hours on end he’s very comfortable

8. their favorite color?

i’m not sure, i know he’s said he likes orange, yellow, and black (maybe blue too?) and apparently he’s been told he looks extra good in pink because in his words, he looks good in every color. but yeah i’m not sure of his absolute favorite

9. do they keep up to date on pop culture?

i think it just depends on if it’s something he likes. i think he keeps up to date on a lot of music because he likes a lot of popular artists i don’t pay attention to, and he likes football or at least cares about keeping up with his favorite team

10. sweetest thing they’ve done for you?

this is gonna be another unnecessarily long story. this was before we started dating, it was a thursday so that meant we had our two classes, english then stats right after that, and when stats ends he has to go to his sociology class and i get picked up by my mom. we would typically talk during the time in between english and stats, and he was telling me that he was super sick and he was going to be skipping his sociology class and that he was only going to stats because of our test. we’re in college so teachers typically just do tests at the end of the class and if you finish before class is done you get to go early. so i took my time doing my test and finished with like 30 minutes to spare and when i went to go to the door i saw he was gone and i was like oh that makes sense, he’s ill and said he wanted to go home to sleep. so i walk out to the lobby to wait for my mom (a long wait since i got out early and had no way of letting her know that, plus she’s just always late) and i see him in one of the spots i usually sit in. i was surprised but assumed he had a reason to still be there so i just started talking to him about the test but after that i was like “soooo why are you still here, did you decide you were gonna go to your next class?” and he’s like “oh no i just wanted to wait with you.” like he was just feeling terrible and could’ve went home whenever he wanted (he said he would’ve driven me home but didn’t feel like he should with how ill he was) yet he decided to wait with me for like 30 minutes for my mom even though i said he didn’t have to it was so nice :(

11/12. have you dreamed about them/have they dreamed about you?

i’ve dreamed about him a few times but the thing w mine is that i dream about things/people i think about or see a lot, so the fact that he’s on my mind and i see him nearly every day plays a role. none of my dreams make sense so it’s never anything sweet, he’s just there. he has said he’s had at least one dream about me though, and his dreams are the opposite like he said he just always has romantic dreams that make sense and i was in one :3c

13. can they dance?

every time i hang out with him he dances. like every car ride he puts on music and dances to it while driving, he’ll dance in the middle of any public place, or even when we’re just eating/laying down. it’s usually either him just moving around or fortnite dances specifically to annoy me, but it’s cute

14. what does hugging them feel like?

sosososo nice and warm and safe

15. your favorite thing about them?

i like his personality a lot, he’s really funny and nice, i don’t think it’s possible for me not to smile when he’s talking or being himself

16. their favorite thing about you?

i don’t know, he would probably say my personality too

17. best memory of you together?

another i don’t know, i’ve only been talking to him for two months so that’s not a lot of time to have a favorite memory since there’s so few. probably just the first time we kissed, i think that’s what he would say

18. what are they like when they’re tired?

not much different honestly, but he says he’s always tired so that’s probably why. when he’s tired he just says he’s tired and acts no different. according to him i’m nicer when i’m tired

19/20. could you imagine growing old together with them? could they?

god i don’t know, i’m incapable of thinking that far ahead. we’re both people who, when we date, aim for long-term so i don’t want to be like “we’ll probably only date for a year” because if i think like that it’s destined to fail but i also don’t want to be like “we’re gonna be together forever” because we’ve only known each other for two months. i prefer to just take it as it comes and not try to look forward to anything specific. we’re together for however long we’re together, i have no way of knowing that duration. it could be until next month, it could be until my death, we’ll see. i imagine he’d say the same thing

21. what would an ideal date with them be?

like i said, he could ask me to watch paint dry with him and i’d do it. any time with him is an ideal date. i like going out and doing things but i would probably lean more towards “let’s cuddle and nap for like 5 hours”

22. are they competitive?

yes, especially when someone is a sore loser. like he beat me in bowling twice yesterday and even though i was cool with it he was like “i’m still gonna brag.” but i’m competitive too so it’s a good match

23. what do you do together?

anything. mostly just talk, cuddle, watch stuff, play video games, do homework together, and if there’s something to go out and do then we’ll do it

24. which smells remind you of them?

(copied from my main)  his favorite smell is this yankee candle called festival of lights and he always has it burning when i come over so definitely that

25. do they remind you of any music?

just the music he likes, i don’t associate any of my music with him. he plays his music a lot so whenever i think of artists like lil peep or scotty sire i just think of him, plus the dozens of other people he’s made me listen to (not that i mind)

26/27. could you tell them your biggest secret? could they tell you theirs?

i probably will soon, obv not gonna say what to the entire internet but it’s an important thing. he’s told me his most embarrassing thing about himself which i didn’t think was too bad, i don’t know if he counts that as his biggest secret or not

28. how do you greet each other?

depends on where. whenever he picks me up i say hi/hey, if i walk into class i just smile at him because it feels weird to start having a conversation in a dead quiet class where no one knows we’re dating. i never kiss or hug him as a greeting but i do as a goodbye, not sure why

29/30. what makes you blush that they do? what makes them blush that you do?

he’s only made me blush once but i can’t remember what he said that made me do it, i only blush when i’m embarrassed. i don’t think i’ve ever made him blush, not that i know of

31/32. would you say you love them? would they say they love you?

way too soon for that BUT the other day he accidentally said it when saying goodbye as a force of habit because he always says “bye love you” to his friends/family. i didn’t notice because he said it super quickly before he realized but then he told me about it a few days later. i could picture myself loving him one day though. right now i’d say i adore him

thank you to anyone who read this and got this far if you did. this was really fun i just love talking about himmmm even if no one sees it, it’s just nice to gush uwu

[lilylink9-blog]

KITCHY CABIN KITCHEN REVEAL // SPONSORED BY SAMSUNG

You might have seen this month’s feature in Domino Magazine where I revealed my cabin renovation. Now I’m beyond excited to give you a deeper look at my kitchen in partnership with Samsung.

When I was daydreaming about our cabin, I knew the kitchen would be the heart, the center of activity. First, it’s BAM right there in the middle, and second, that’s where everyone ends up hanging out, right? When I first saw the cabin, the kitchen was this awkward, closed off space – low hanging ceilings with a soffit and then heavy oak upper cabinets fortified against the rest of the space. This did not seem right – the soaring A-Frame ceiling demanded an equally airy space. The appliances were all different colors and the oven range was hidden behind the sink. I wanted the kitchen to invite people to sit at the counter and help cook, not cut off the cook via a pile of dirty dishes. 

The cabin needed a complete reno– and the decision to install Samsung appliances was an easy one. The entire kitchen and laundry room are decked out with their sleek and functional pieces. I’m not much of a gear-head/techie – that’s more my husband, Craig – but I am truly geeking out over these. Every item has something incredibly special and practical about it. This isn’t something I would typically notice, but now that I have a baby, every small efficiency counts.

My Samsung Family Hub fridge connects to Instacart, so I can immediately place grocery orders when I notice I’m running low on something; when I’m out shopping I can look at the inside of my fridge on my phone to answer the perpetual question of, “But do I need more milk?” The dishwasher is incredibly quiet and equipped with Samsung’s WaterWall technology which cleans every dish and its adjustable upper rack makes room for bulky or delicate dishes. And you know we’re baking at the kitchy cabin – enter the Flex Duo range! This convection oven delivers fast and even baking, plus wifi connectivity, so I can keep tabs on what’s cooking while I’m busy around the house. These appliances are perfect for families!

A kitchen has the challenge of being innately utilitarian. No matter what, it needs to serve a function, so design and style can’t get in the way of that. My aim was to open everything up and choose touches to make the kitchen a cozy, usable space, but one with style too.

So, the first thing to go were those upper cabinets. It’s amazing how removing them immediately opened up the house. Adding a fresh coat of paint (I used Whisper by Dunn Edwards) immediately brightened up the room. I could not believe the transformation that happened. It was immediately airier, and light seemed to bounce around everywhere.

I chose an L-shape for the kitchen, so there was space for a row of Shaw stools in walnut from Rejuvenation. I love the idea of everyone gathering around the kitchen, so counter stools invite that kind of “pull up a chair” dynamic. The cabinets are all Ikea with SemiHandmade Doors in “slab antique” on top. I love the whole idea of SemiHandmade – you get a custom kitchen look and quality at a fraction of the price – and “slab antique” has a lovely warmth to it rather than a stark white. 

In the mountains, engineered wood is preferred to hardwood. The weather is harsh, and all of that expanding and contracting means the hardwood gets wonky really fast, whereas engineered wood keeps clean lines all year round. I reached out to Lumber Liquidators for their engineered wood and chose Tobacco Road. It’s acacia with a beautiful rich tone that’s not too dark. I also chose a walnut counter top from Lumber Liquidators to complete the look.

To accent the wood pieces by Lumber Liquidators, I chose Rough Sawn Salvaged Fir shelved with brass strap brackets by Rejuvenation as floating shelves. It’s minimalist and modern, but still has enough character to work in the space. I piled stacks of green and blush ceramics by Lux Eros, one of my favorite artisan ceramicists, onto the shelves. I love the handmade, chic look of her pieces – they’re so unique and beautiful. All of this is tied together with a giant wallop of color by Fireclay Tile. I chose a blend of saffron, avocado, and sorbet pink as my color cues throughout the cabin, and these custom handmade tiles are just so joyful and unexpected. I joked from the beginning that I wanted the cabin to be anti-hygge – no soft white monochromatic tones and nordic minimalism. I want après ski fondue party vibes! I chose the Agrarian line for both the kitchen and laundry – so high impact! I love the element of surprise it brings to the room.

As much as the stove, the sink is a popular spot in my kitchen – Craig, my husband, is the best at keeping my messy ways in check. I love the Beale MeasureFILL Touch Kitchen Faucet by American Standard. I am constantly flooding my counters by filling a pot with water, but getting distracted and forgetting that the faucet is on – so the MeasureFILL technology feels specially made for me. It delivers a precise set volume of water on demand, so if I need 2 cups of water for a recipe, I can literally set it and forget it.  There’s also the touch on and off functionality using the dial, plus the ability to be used as a manual faucet. The look is sleek and simple – perfect for my modern cabin kitchen. Above the sink I have a simple, minimalistic pull-down shade from The Shade Store. I love how it adds a soft glow to the kitchen if you pull it down.

And finally, I have to talk about the laundry room! I adore the moment of opening the doors and being surprised by a riot of color. The cupboards are painted in Dunn Edwards Shaded Spruce with another hand painted Fireclay Tile adding a geometric feeling. It’s the same color palette as the kitchen, but a different pattern to mix it up. I try to make any space where I’m doing a chore as pretty as possible. So, if I’m folding laundry, I want to be staring at happy colors and beautiful tile. It’s all grounded with my sleek and beautiful Samsung FlexWash and FlexDry. The dryer has a second compartment to dry delicates, while the main load is drying as well. And like the wifi technology that comes with my oven, this washer and dryer offer the same. I’m able to monitor the cycles all from my phone – hello multitasking! So not only is the space beautiful, it’s efficient as well.

I hope you guys enjoyed seeing the big Kitchy Cabin Kitchen reveal! I can’t wait to share the rest of the house with you.

Source: https://www.thekitchykitchen.com/kitchy-cabin-kitchen-reveal-sponsored-by-samsung/

[clevernewdimension]

Exaulted Prologue

Parts: Prologue, Part one (Coming soon!) 

Genre: Drama, Romance, Violence, plus more!

Pairing: None yet! (Most of them are gonna try though!)

Word Count: 1.2K

AN: Short prologue in order to help get to know the character!

People wonder why I work so hard or why I’m so stubborn as to not ask for help. It took my best friend Lina two years to fully understand, though she still complains. She often tells me I should take it easy, not work so hard all the time. The fact of the matter is that I can’t. If I screw up, everything I’ve worked for will be pulled out from under me. I don’t have that luxury as most people who lived here do. Many people here are wealthy and royalty, but not me.

My father left my mother and I when I was three. My mother would be sad about it often, but refused to let that break her. She does still love him, she told me, but she’d never forgive him for turning his back on me. Not her, but me. I never understood why she wasn’t angry for him hurting her. I was young, I don’t remember him well. Honestly, I barely have any memories of him, so there’s really no pain for me. But her? He vowed to stay by her side. He vowed to be there for her. Vows apparently are not that important for him.

I never understood why he left her. It can’t be for looks, because she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. She’s rather tan, with blonde hair like mine. Her eyes were more green than mine, though. I remember her being in shape and dressed well. She was successful, working as an editor of a huge Newspaper. She had a light dusting of freckles across her nose that she shared with me, though mine are lighter and harder to see. Mom was strong, fiercely loyal and worked hard. She loved with all her heart and it made no sense to me as to why someone would throw that away.

Growing up, my mother taught me the value of being able to work for yourself. The ability to stand on your own two feet and the freedom and independence that comes with it. She taught me to work hard, to be honest and loyal. Family is important, and friends are the family you choose. I remember coming home, bringing her report cards with all A’s and her smiling. ‘A good education is the key to a good life’, she would tell me often.

From a young age, art was my passion. Mostly painting, though I loved anything that involved creating. My mom encouraged it, but also told me to keep studying, because she didn’t want me to become a ‘starving artist’. She just wanted me to have something to fall back on, just in case, and I can’t blame her. Art is a cruel world, after all.

After my father left her, my mother went and got a tattoo. A sunflower, because it represents loyalty and strong bonds between two people. Mom said it was for me. Apparently she loved the experience, getting a couple of pink alstroemerias, because they represent devotion and mutual support. It wasn’t long until her arm was completely covered in colorful flowers. Some representing her friends, her family, and more for me. She loved them, and many people were shocked to find out she had them.

She was strong and worked for what she wanted, but that didn’t make her judgmental. Mom didn’t look down on those who needed help. Honestly she was one of the most open-minded people I’ve ever known. She told me growing up that whatever made me happy, she’d support. She was honest about her past and the thing she did. It made me feel safe and warm. Most people felt accepted and loved near her.

Then, one day, the world no longer had her.

When I was 12, she was diagnosed with early Alzheimer's. At first, she was just forgetful. Then she became moody, drawing herself away from people. It didn’t take long before she started forgetting words, not remembering how to write or read. Soon, she didn’t even remember who I was. Sometimes she'd remember me, and talk to me, but most of the time she through I just worked at the care facility where she stayed. Often she’d talk to me, telling me stories of myself and how much she loved me. Those days I’d go home and cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I even got angry and screamed into my pillows at night, wanting so desperately to break things.

Mother passed away when I was barely two weeks into 16. I didn’t have time to mourn, because I had to find work. I have an awful habit of internalizing many of my feelings, keeping them in until they explode. Keeping myself calm as I tried to think of something else. Somehow I needed to feed myself, keep shelter over my head and pay debt from my mother’s healthcare. I refused to let it stop me, remembering all the thing she taught me growing up. I worked hard, studied harder and kept myself out of trouble. Thankfully her debt wasn’t a lot and I got that done quickly. I sacrificed a lot, but it was worth it.

I met Lina when I was 17. She always wondered why I was the way I was. So, finally, at 18, I told her. I hated the look of pity in her eyes. Her life was always so easy when compared to mine. Grated her mother and her don’t get along, she’s a daddy’s girl and has him wrapped around her finger, so she got everything she wanted. She was still kind. She could have been awful and treated people like me bad but she never has. Lina wants so bad to help me because she genuinely cares for me. Besides memories with my mom, the nights spent with Lina are my favorite, the happiest moments.

She got into Exdria Elite University easily. When I got the letter that I was accepted, she took me to get something I’ve been wanting to get in order to remember my mother. That night, at nine, we were both in a tattoo parlor where she paid for me to get a tattoo. I got a morning glory that had a bunch of forget-me-nots on the sides on my wrist in a watercolor painting style. It was a bit painful, making tears come to my eyes, but not unbearably. It was small, but it was still detailed and colorful. After leaving, I cried to Lina, finally telling her who that tattoo represented and why she’s never seen any family from me.

Lina brought up that somewhere my father was still out there. That he may not know mom died. She offered to help me look into it, but I decided I didn’t want to open that can of worms. We started our classes, and it was fine and great. Lina kept her grades up at a B level while still managing to go out and party all the time. No matter how much time she spent with her other friends, she still made time for me. Some of her female friends told her she should stop hanging out with me, but she just blew them off, telling them I was her best friend. It was heartwarming.

I was working hard, painting, studying, and doing the job I had. I kept to myself and out of trouble, and still bad luck finds me. Then, I was told that the store I worked at was shutting down. I was losing my job. I’m currently panicking, trying to scramble for a new one. Job hunting is hard, and the reality that I may be homeless is making me feel sick. Why can’t I catch a break?

[b-originaldesigns]

B. Original Designs Starting the New Year off with a Little (Or a Lot!) of Closet Organization (& Donation!)

Hello Design Friends! If you are like me your closet is most likely over run with more clothing & things than you could ever possibly need, want, or wear. With so many option from, in my case a long case of “collecting” aka hoarding ,that it is now a more than an over whelming task. Deep breath friends I know the panic is setting in but don't worry, we got this. And well only have to do it once! I swear it doesn't have to be a daunting task & in the end giving it to someone who loves them will be well worth it! TRUST ME! Who doesn't feel better helping others.

As I wright this I debate the fact if I don't have other issues like OCD so no judging, tehehe. I have learned over the years however that if I have a “system” yes I said it, system means you never need to start over from scratch once you get threw it once. And in my life I start over enough, so lets at least keep “things” straight. Plus as you wear threw things if you can stay on top of it this system actually makes this task super easy! So lets get started! I swear you will feel better.

If you look above you will see a very neat box of hangers, that shows you a lot more than the fact I  worked retail for a while lol. You will see that there are multiple colors as well as thicknesses (thats what she said). But there is a reason in retain they use different hangers for different items as well as for visual branding, says a former floor set manager. We are going to use these hangers in the below ways to get things straight & help you visualize and well as organize. Trust the Dyslexic girl, color coding is the bomb. And don't worry its always easier to clean out someone else stuff because your not emotionally attached. I could tell you a story or 2 trust me but in the end its always worth it, hard but worth it.

So here we go…  

               Well get the Hanger of this!

At the beginning of every year turn the hangers around in your closet. Yes, I know this is a “Pinterest Trick” but its a great one! It actually helps you visually see what you do or don't wear rather than what you think or wish you wore. We are not always as honest with ourselves as we should be. Depending on how much clothing you have will determine the length of time you choose before your “let got” point. If you are not purging 1st I would give yourself at least 90 days. Me I flip them in December so I can be ready by New Years and give myself 6 months so it covers a few seasons. However, I have done this before so remember I am constantly purging.  

Get Thicker Hangers for your coats and heavier sweaters. This will actually help them keep their shape a little longer. These ones in my case I don't color code with hangers. I just let the OCD kick in and do it by thickness but thats totally up to you. With Coats as far as purging goes I just decide at the end of each season what stays or goes based on what I wore that winter & wear and tear. Or if I you bought a new coat & you have a lot… one must go. I know I'm so mean.

Now its time to Color Code! (don't judge me I cross my heart it helps <3 ). I normally choose 4 colors but again if you need more by all means. And just a little FYI Target normally has super cute hangers of all thicknesses and colors if your looking for a good place to find them. Now below are my colors so of course you can choose your own or like I did.. matched my room decor “Wink”.

Teal - Brand New. THE EXCITING NEW THINGS EK! These are things I just got and have not had a chance to wear yet. Literally they should have tags on them. These could be things you bought for occasions that have not come yet, your saving for something special, or maybe you just couldn't resist the deal & just couldn't fight yourself. This helps you see how long you take to wear new things which should help you also gauge your intake of new clothes. DONE SPEND MORE THAN YOU CAN WEAR OBVIOUSLY! If it takes you a few months then you don't need to be spending money frequently on clothes when because there is always something new and exciting right there in your closet! (Side Note: for me this exposed a huge confidence issue. I had a ton of BOMB ASS clothing that I was to intimidate to wear because in my mind I was not pretty enough to pull it off. So sometimes a lot more comes from this than just organization.)

Green - These Items are still “Newer” you have worn them a few times but their still in style & great shape. So green means go, wear them & enjoy! These are the things you will normally hold on to for a few years and then move on. Or I have a rule that with these items if I put them on and take them off 3 times then they have to get down graded because obviously your starting to move on from these items. When I say down grade I mean that these items need to find a new way to live in your wardrobe.

Purple or Random Colors - Since hangers break I find this to be a good place to use them. These items are the “I don't care I love them” items. That favorite hoodie or that favorite shirt that weather its in style or not it doesn't matter you'll never let it go. Or items like that little black dress that never goes out of style you can always keep. WEAR THAT SHIT PROUDLY YOU LOVE IT FORGET EVERYONE ELSE! I have tons of clothing that I have bought that because I buy nicer pieces years later I still get compliments on them. It makes me feel that piece was worth the investment. And what makes it even better if then you know your one of a kind, so let them be envious of your good taste.

I Still Cant Part! However there are some items myself included we keep for memories sake but we know we will not wear (Like the 100’s of Zeta shirts I own). If they are starting to become run down you can turn these items into crafts, this is a great way to keep them in your life but not in your closet. Plus this is free fabric, let me repeat free, to make pillows or blankets out of that you can keep as a keepsake in your home. Or if you scrap book you can use them as the back drop. These are great ways to keep them without them cluttering up your closet, just your home on a smaller scale lol. But well share the how to on these on another day.

White - These are your Normal items. You have had them a few years, worn threw them. Their “fashion life” is coming to an end. I am a big believe in wearing things threw their life spans not their fashion lives and make it worth the purchase or you donate it to make others happy. (Thats true trickle down economics, but for another day). These items also come with a few rules. If you try to wear these items a few times and never end up wearing them they have to be given a good look at. Why are we keeping them if were not wearing them? I have the 3 rule, if I try and wear the item 3 times and end up taking it off and hanging it back up the item must go or make the final down grade. & when i say down grade i mean the following. They can become work out clothes if they can like tank tops or things like that (Never saw the point in spending a ton of money you sweat in, except the leggings). If you work in a job like I do that sometimes your clothes get ruined from paint or adventure you can always downgrade these items for that. That way your not messing up your fav shirt you can mess up something that you care so little about you can go home and throw right away if you  needed. In my case those are the items I keep in a little box in my closet until they are totally destroyed & I throw them away. Same goes for cleaning clothes. Cant get bleach on the cute stuff. But say some of these items are nicer & you cannot do those things in them or why would you. At this point give them to some one who will enjoy them and donate. Don't worry if it’s a little worn let the people your donating it to decide if its worth it or not. This is how you remove yourself from the emotional side and make a clean break from your junk. (Side Note: I keep a box in my bed room and put the items in there. Once the box is full I take the box to be donated or I save them for my fundraiser I will tell you about below.).

Ok PHEW! We made it threw the closet & all the many hangers and now you have gone threw the hardest part because you have basically just gone threw almost everything you own, hooray! Now besides possibly taking a break for a cocktail its time to go threw the draws. This should simple because like most of us this is prob where you keep most of your unmentionables, wink wink & just a few other things. These tips will be short and sweet. First if you have space take all those clothes that you don't care get destroyed & put them in the bottom draw or if you don't like in my case (because I'm a hoarder lol)  get an old box you can leave in the corner of the closet & rotate them from there. Also now take all those clothes you dropped down to work out cloths and make a draw for work out stuff. But here are a few other rules for your draws, not your under draws but your furniture draws lol.

               Rules for your Draws

These draws have organization but they also follow the same rules as the closet. If you take them off multiple times they go in the destroy or donate box. I also suggest put the things in the draw by order of which you use them. This will make them easier to get to and keep the draws neat. Also this means as you down grade things in the the draws or when you just need more room you can you remove from the bottom since those are obviously the things you don't wear as often.

I also make a draw for Tank Top Under Shirts and “Basics”. These draws I color code, I know I know I have a problem. If you don't really wanna do it that way I would suggest putting what you wear the most on top so the draw stays neat.

I also (Retail) fold my jeans and pants and make a draw for them. I group them by what they are, jeans, pants, leggings (which are pants if your crotch is covered cough cough) eat, ect.

Lastly but of course the most important the sock, bra, & panties draw. I have a little bit of a sock obsession so I have far more than I need. but what I say here is no match, no stay. (I do save them however because if you tie them together they make get dog toys. Also if the socks are super cute they make great sunglass cases Side Note: Tutorial on how to make those to come <3 ). Panties go by use just make sure you have a variety and their cuteaf. But what I do also & i know this is embarrassing to talk about that lady problem but get a baggie or I use old make up bags and take the worn ones and use those for your “monthly visitor”. This way you don't ruin your cute underwear unless its an “opps!”. Sorry ladies I know, who wants to talk about that but facts are facts & we made it threw. Bras go in order by either what they are or by life span, your choice. I just like that when new items come in I know that when I need more space I can always pull items from the back. I guess you can say I like it from the back hehehe.

Now that we have gone threw the tough parts the only thing left is shoes and accessories. Use baskets and organizers for these there are plenty and we can cover cute ideas for that another time. So now we have officially gone threw everything piece of clothing you own all the way down to your skivvies! Im Proud of you! Now take all those wonderful things to where you would like to donate them (Or if their nicer maybe consign those) and enjoy making someone else smile!

So Proud of you Design Friends! But now that you have all these treasures and no one to take them let me tell you there are so many places! Of course you can take them to Salvation Army or Goodwill. If they are nice you can try to take them to a consignment shop or a place like Platos Closet. Offer Up is a great app to sell things on also! You can donate them to churches or Junior Leagues. But below you will find an organization very dear to me Interact that I have started a fundraiser with which is a great place to donate & I will even help!

B. Original Designs Fundraiser 

Designing Futures                    

With Interact of Wake Forest

When I went threw a very rough time not to long ago I was turned onto a wonderful organization called Interact. Thank God! They are a woman’s shelter here that help woman with all sorts of needs but mostly domestic violence. Interact will help woman with everything from just a safe place to go sit like in my case, because they have RPD that work full time for them as well as the facility is completely safe and open 24’s. They work with RPD on a daily basis on domestic violence cases to help woman who have suffered from domestic violence get the help they need rather than leaving it to them to find on their own. Here Woman really do come 1st & it couldn't be more fitting given all the things recently going on. They offer therapy, and even go as far as to help woman who flee in the night & need to be relocated. I was so amazed by what they do and how little thanks (& funding they get) or even acknowledgment they get. They make most of their money from a thrift store that they don't charge the people they help to shop at & donations. They also make whats called “Happy Bags” that are for full family that are having to be relocated. So they make they not only for woman but kids, teens, boys and girls. They are truly amazing!

Now remember in the beginning of this blog we said no judging, but here is a little bit about Britter’s as a human. So if you live in the Raleigh area and are looking for somewhere to donate I would love to help you do that! Last year when I moved for the 2nd time since I left my Situation I realized not only did I not want to move all this shit, but I had way more than I needed. I didn't want to just throw it away, but I also didn't need to keep it any longer. Some of it was emotional baggage I was finally ready to get rid of & others were just things I knew I was never going to use but wanted it to go to someone who would enjoy it like it did or better yet needed it. Interact was a place that when I needed help and a  place to go they took me in, like so many other woman no questions asked. I knew I wanted to find a way for my donations to help them & thus Designing Futures was born. I wanted to find a way to use my design talent, & obvious organization skills to help people in their homes & people creating new ones.

So from January to April which is Woman's Domestic Violence Month we do all sorts of closet clean outs. If you just want help organizing and cleaning its only $50 when you donate your clothing to Interact or you can donate $50 to Interact & donate to a fundraiser of your choice. If you do a remodel I will chip in a free consultation if you donate 5 items to Interact. We can also apply the consultation to the organization if your frisky and want to take it all on! The great thing about Interact is because they make “Happy Bags” you can also donate mens and children clothing as well as some home goods, books, and toys for the relocation houses. So don't forget if you want we can clean house! Don't hesitate to donate whatever you are not using and want to find a new home. I will come get all of these things and donate them for you to keep a grand total. Last year we donated 689 items of clothing and a few hundred dollars and I look forward to even more this year with your help!

Welp Design Friends I hope you feel a little better for reading this & have a lot of direction for your closet. For help feel free to DM me as well as for pick ups! Now go get started!  

Cheers!

Britters