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i just opened my second urban design subject and it is so exciting i swear this course is my main source of serotonin i want to eat it
#using MUSIC PERIODS to define your city aesthetic?#meeting needs advocacy and marxism in cities?#looking at the effects of the industrial city SO MANY PLACES#and indigenous heritage!! love it!!#plus 'new urbanism'#whatever that is. but oh i love it i love it i love it
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okay so i was thinking of a joke earlier about how in DPDC Amity Park's slogan "a great place to live" is not only city propaganda but also the city lording it over the rest of America for being normal. But then I remembered that, despite how many DCU Cities with heroes in it there are, the amount of cities in America without heroes still far outnumber the amount of cities in America WITH heroes.
So I did a little digging so the joke would still land. Something most heroes have in common is that they operate in major cities. What makes a major city? I found that the general consensus is that the population is roughly over or around a million. THEN I looked up the populations of cities in the DCU that I thought of off the top of my head. So Gotham, Metropolis, Starling City, Central City, Jump City. All of them ranked up to millions in population (most of them were in the tens of millions).
Amity Park's wikipedia describes it as being similar to specifically Philadelphia, Chicago, and San Francisco.
Philadelphia's Population: 1.576 million as of 2021 Chicago's Population: 2.697 million as of 2021 San Francisco: 815,201 as of 2021
Whiiich means that Amity Park if we take that from canon, is probably a major city. There are approximately 19,000 cities in America with probably less than a hundred that are major cities. Adding the DCU major cities wouldn't skew the data too much.
Which MEANS that I can make the joke that Amity Park's "great place to live" is not only just typical city propaganda, but also its Amity Park lording it over the other major cities for being one of the only major cities that doesn't have problems bad enough to warrant a superhero or a vigilante. Cue stage left the Fentons and Phantom :)
Amity Parkers were probably SO proud that they didn't need a superhero. They didn't have to worry about things like 'world ending threats' and 'super-powered individuals' and 'staggering property damage'. And then enter Fentons.
It also could be used as an excuse for why nobody took notice to Amity Park getting ghosts if folks like me aren't huge fans of the notion of a media blackout via Tucker, Technus, or the US Government. Or if you want to keep Amity Park as its urban city self. Amity Park's news on ghosts gets drowned out in a week because there's news on more popular, well-known cities going on every other day. The shit going on in Amity Park is every other major city's regular Tuesday and it gets filtered as such.
#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dpdc#plus amity suddenly going 'we have ghosts' could be seen as a case of city-wide FOMO finally hitting so nobody believes them#and thats if the belief of ghosts not being real is as strong as it is in dp canon#the media blackout could also be /city-induced/ too#where amity parkers are so proud of being 'normal' and 'not having superheros' that many of them try and deny the existence of Phantom#and the mayor and news sources themselves just. stubbornly refuse to let news of ghosts get out to the other cities#do you know how much shit they'll get?? they'll be a laughingstock!#gothamites would never leave them alone. neither would central city or the metropolitans or starling city or--#the other big cities will make fun of them :(#my new favorite hc that stemmed from this is that every major city in the dcu is rivaling with each other#there's a lot you can experiment with this idea imo lmao#this whole post sums up my writing and thinking process pr well tbh#this stemmed because im making a childhood friends au short story doc and wanted to avoid the typical tropes about how AP went undetected#from the rest of the US. bc. im not a fan of the media blackout idea via tucker/technus/gov and i wanted to keep AP an urban city#so i had to come up with something else#hence me looking into DCU cities and how many there are and realizing that there is a decent amount of other cities other than the main#popular ones and being DELIGHTED because then i could use that as an excuse for why amity went overlooked. bc there are many cities with#heroes in it. so its not surprising if another city gets a hero TOO. plus the news also focusing on more popular heroes and cities so again#the news of amity getting a hero gets drowned out by whatever new thing the JL or someone from the JL did that week
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Unbreakable | S1:E1
[Sims 4 x RPF Hybrid Series]
Summary: Unbreakable follows the lives of Tahlia Monroe, Jaia Hawkins, and Geoni Scott, three best friends in their late twenties. Join them as they navigate the challenges of work, romance, and personal growth while trying to stay true to their unbreakable bond.
vimeo
A/N: Leave notes telling me how you feel about this new series, Please don't be shy, reblog if you like. Leave me a little heart too! I am a bit rusty when it comes to video editing, but overtime it should get better! just have a faith in me 🤟🏾🤎
#black sims 4#black simblr#black simmer#the sims 4#sims 4 story#rpf#hybrid#blackauthor#black literature#blacktumblr#writers on tumblr#notes are welcomed#video post#urban romance#urban fiction#adult fiction#blackgirlmagic#sisterhood#friendship#new series#s1e1#b5#zoe saldana#family drama#Tyler James williams#plus size oc#black oc#original character#Vimeo
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#art#design#luxury#fyp#legend#model#high fashion#indeedgoodman#japan#ueno#shinjuku#city#urban#tokyo#japan girl#new japan pro wrestling#japan travel#japanese#PSP#video game#playstation 2#sony playstation#retro games#retro gaming#ps plus#psp game#Nissan#lexus#drifting#street car
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as if i would blow up the spot without ordering for myself first 😈
#LOVE urban tshirts i got this in a medium and it’s just a little big#the back is sick too i just couldn’t get a good pic LMFAO#my room is a fuckin mess i can’t wait til the semester is over so i can DEEP CLEAN#also peep the third bracelet in the special bracelet set this pic was pre finding the other one on my floor 🫢#im just procrastinating writing some more teehee#also ordering things online which. ik it’s about to be christmas and my birthday butttt#ik my parents are not getting me platform boots w little bat wings lollllll#plus like im sure for my bday my dad will just give me money soooo 🥲#i have a very love/hate relationship w my bday i feel like i have to be THAT girl who is like ITS MY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE#but that’s bc if i don’t make a scene nobody cares 😞 like it’s right after christmas AND new years#so everyone is all partied out but im always like WHAT ABT ONE MORE DAY!!! FOR EMMA!!!!!#gross that im turning twenty fi….no i shan’t say it#mostly bc my life is sad LOL how did we get here#ANYWAYS LOOK AT MY FOB SHIRT!!!!!#and don’t forget my bday is january 2nd 😌
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नयकापार में पीएम आवास के लिए पात्रों का हुआ चयन
रिपोर्ट,दिलीप कुमार दुबौलिया / बस्ती– विकासखण्ड कप्तानगंज के अंतर्गत ग्राम पंचायत नयकापार में प्रधानमंत्री आवास योजना के लाभार्थियों की सूची बनाने के लिए खुली बैठक हुई । खुली बैठक ग्राम प्रधान उर्मिला सिंह एवं सचिव अरविंद चौधरी की अध्यक्षता में हुई । खुली बैठक में ग्राम पंचायत के समस्त महिला पुरुषों ने प्रतिभाग लिया । प्रधान प्रतिनिधि मंटू सिंह ने बताया कि खुली बैठक का मुख्य उद्देश्य गरीब एवं…
#pm awas yojana#PMModi पीएम_आवास मोदी#awas yojana#awas yojana 2024#awas yojana new list 2024#awas yojana online apply urban#pm awas plus yojana new update 2024#pm awas yojana 2024#pm awas yojana gramin apply online#pm awas yojana gramin apply online 2024#pm awas yojana new list 2024#pm awas yojana new target 2024#pm awas yojana new update 2024#pm awas yojana online apply#pm awas yojana online apply kaise kare#pm awas yojana urban apply online 2024#pm आवास योजना 2024-2025 नया नियम लागू#pm आवास योजना new update 2024#pm आवास योजना ग्रामीण नया आवेदन 2024#pm आवास योजना नया काम शुरू 2024#pm आवास योजना नया काम शुरू 2024-25#pradhan mantri awas yojana#pradhan mantri awas yojana 2023#pradhan mantri awas yojana 2024#pradhan mantri awas yojana 2024 online apply#pradhan mantri awas yojana 2024 online apply kaise kare#pradhan mantri awas yojana apply online#pradhan mantri awas yojana eligibility#pradhan mantri gramin awas yojana#आवास योजना
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No Shame by Bianca Sommerland
5 stars
I finished this book and didn’t want it to end, I was just savouring every moment! This world, these characters, we get to learn even more about them, and the circumstances of their lives. Our three main characters for this romance sparked and then paused, and we get to see why that was. This world is more complicated than it seemed, and we get to see how it became. The bad people aren’t clear, or as clear as they seemed, and even then, ambiguous at the most. As usual, I reached a point in the book where I simply could not put it down, and while things veered in directions I did not expect, it all made perfect sense that that was where it was supposed to end up. Gunnar, Jae, and Vero are secure in their commitment to each other, and whatever the future brings in the series, they will face it together <3
#Bianca Sommerland#No Shame#Redemptions End Series#Urban Fantasy#Poly Romance new release#available now#available everywhere#Kobo Plus#am reading#read romance#romance reader#romance books#read#romance#books#reader#bibliophile#book love#book blogger#book review#steamy reads
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-gift shopping-
12.20.2023
i went to the mall today and bought presents. i bought marie (my best friend) a necklace with an ‘m’on it from anthropologie, i bought, adam a megadeth t-shirt from urban outfitters, i bought michelle a striped shirt from old navy, i bought my mom some soft socks from walmart, and i bought my dad a set of shirts from walmart. i also bought myself a really cute nirvana shirt from urban outfitters.
growing up, i was absolutely obsessed with urban outfitters. i always thought their clothes were so cute and amazing. when i was in high school (i always thought i was huge even though i wasn’t even that large) i would go to urban outfitters to buy myself cute clothes. they were always a little on the expensive side, but it wasn’t my money at the time so i didn’t mind. i have always been a little bit annoyed by the fact that they have a limited size range in their store. i just looked at their website and they have XXL as a size, but it seems to be limited. i don’t understand why they don’t carry larger sizes. i love their clothes so it is sad that i can’t really wear most of them. also, some of their clothes look like they run small anyways, so even if you get an XL it might still fit tighter than usual. i need to find some good plus size stores. torrid is a popular plus sized store, but they are expensive and i am not a fan of a lot of their styles.
i have been working on being myself again recently, because it seems like i haven’t truly been completely my genuine self for years. a huge part of this is confidence. i use to put a lot of thought into my appearance, not necessarily in a bad way but in a way where it made me happy to dress nice. i think having a wardrobe that i truly love could help a ton with my self confidence.
i am going to look into cute stores that offer plus sized clothing options
#2023#blog#daily blog#personal blog#new blog#blogger#shopping#uo#urban outfitters#mall#nirvana#megadeath#old navy#plus sized#size inclusive fashion
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daylight | yjh
ღ pairing: jeonghan x barista!reader!
ღ word count: 6.5k
ღ genre: fluff & smut
ღ warnings: cursing, making out, soft sex, pet names (babe, baby, pretty girl), protected sex, (f) reader rides jeonghan, fingering, oral (m receiving)
ღ rating: nsfw, MDNI
ღ networks: @k-vanity @k-library
ღ summary: Jeonghan is moving on from a heartbreak, starting again and making every experience feel new with you.
↠ check out the rest of the tracklist here! ↞
"Yah! Jeonghan! You got to get up!" there was a loud knock on the door following as Jeonghan groaned, recognizing the voice of his roommate, Seungkwan. He groaned out, turning his head to look out the window. The sunlight creeps in through the slits of the blinds. He sat up reluctantly. "Jeonghan?" Seungkwan kept banging on the door. "I'm up already! Keep knocking like that, and I'll have a hole going through my door, jeez," He exhaled, fixing his hair as he walked towards the door.
He unlocked it, hearing the click as he threw the door open. Seungkwan was still standing there with a pitiful look. Jeonghan hated it when people looked at him like that. He wasn't someone to feel sorry for. "You okay?" Seungkwan looked at the elder.
"Just peachy," He gave him a look, seeing the way his eyes didn't change. "Stop looking at me like that," Jeonghan's gaze was sharp as Seungkwan stepped back. Jeonghan wasn't trying to snap at Seungkwan, but he couldn't hold back seeing him look at him as if he was a charity case, which is what all of his friends have been doing lately.
He had gone through a nasty breakup, and that's all there was to it. Obviously, he was going to mope about it and have his moments of wanting to be alone. That was only human, but he guessed it wasn't like that when it came to him. He walked over to the kitchen and got himself a glass of water. "What'd you wake me up for?" He shut the fridge and took a sip from the glass he had just filled.
"I mean, it's noon; you probably won't sleep again tonight. Plus, it's weird seeing you become nocturnal. We also need to go and study. Maybe the library?" Seungkwan avoided eye contact, not wanting to upset Jeonghan any more than he already did.
"Yeah, let me go grab my stuff." He took another sip and then poured the rest down the drain as he walked to his room to get ready, which was changing out of a hoodie and sweatpants and into another pair.
Within moments, the two left their place and headed towards the campus library. Jeonghan opened the door, holding it open for Seungkwan to follow as they walked in. They looked around, searching for a possible table, but didn't see many available. They went upstairs, downstairs, even to the study rooms, hoping someone didn't actually go to their reserved time, but nothing was open. "There's a cafe down the street. Let's go there," Jeonghan's suggestion sounded more like a demand as Seungkwan nodded.
Jeonghan carefully pushed open the door, the bell ringing as he looked around. It had more of an urban aesthetic mixed with some more modern parts. 'Cute,' Jeonghan thought to himself as he studied the brick walls and bright white counters. The tiny bell that hung on the back of the door rang again as Seungkwan walked in.
"Hello!" The bell was a cue for you to call out and welcome everyone. You looked up from the machine you were deep cleaning. Your eyes glued onto one of them for a moment. The way his fingers through his mid-length hair was intoxicating, seeing his soft features as he stared out. It was hard for you to remove your eyes from him as he pulled out a chair at one of the tables and took a seat.
"Hey. Y/N, do we need ice in the bin?" Your coworker, Eunae, called out. That was the only way you could remove your eyes from this stranger. "Oh, uh," You stuttered, opening the ice bin closest to you and the much larger one on the other side. "Yeah, like a bucket and a half would be perfect," You called back to her. She came out, filling the bins and looking at you. "Found yourself another crush?" She teased.
"No, just wondering if they want something," Your excuse was nothing but bullshit as she laughed, shaking her head at you. "Go ask then, weirdo," Your eyes widened a bit at that idea. Obviously, you've gone up to a table before and asked if they wanted a drink, but not someone like him. He was different than the other little crushes you had here and there.
You took a moment to muster up the courage, then walked over to the table. As you got closer, it seemed as if the two were arguing about something. You cleared your throat and smiled cheerfully. "Sorry to interrupt! Can I get either of you something to drink?" The shorter one smiled a bit and looked at you. "Yeah! Can I get an iced americano?" You nodded and looked over at the taller one. "I'll take the same." He didn't even bother to look up.
It hurt your ego that he didn't even move his eyes from the screen in front of him; you nodded and walked away. You made the drinks and peeked over the espresso machine as the taller one had a bothered expression looking at the other. "I don't care about Sooyoung or that she moved on already. Please leave me out of your updates on her. I'm not going to move on right now. My head is fucked thinking about her. I don't need the updates; besides, I'm working on fixing myself right now. I'm not jumping into a relationship," He grumbled; you didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he was talking a bit on the louder side. "Jeonghan," The other one started.
You finished up their drinks and thought to yourself, "Jeonghan." You walked over to them, carefully holding their drinks. "Two Americanos," you smiled. It was definitely a customer service smile instead of your actual smile as they nodded. "Thank you," Jeonghan finally lifted his head to look at you. His mind started racing for a moment. He couldn't remove his eyes from you as he walked away.
Seungkwan moved his leg over, kicking the side of his leg lightly. " What?" He looked at him. "Dude, you're eye fucking her...After saying you don't want another relationship." Jeonghan's face was expressionless as he shrugged a bit. "I can look all I want. That doesn't mean I'm hopping into a relationship." Seungkwan couldn't help but roll his eyes in response.
Jeonghan finished what he was working on and stood up, walking towards the register. You walked over and smiled. " Can I help you with anything?" He nodded a bit, his face seeming to relax from the scowl he had sitting at the table. " I'd just like to pay," you nodded and rang him up, adding a discount to it.
"Oh, I thought it was more," He looked surprised by the price and paid. You handed him his receipt, a soft, rosy color spreading on your cheeks. "Have a great rest of your day," you smiled at him as he nodded, giving you a soft smile and looking at your name tag. "You too, Y/N,"
You hated when people said your name at work if it wasn't one of your coworkers. You realized quickly after starting that customers would use it too much that they abused it. But hearing your name come from those sweet lips, he had made butterflies flutter in your stomach. You watched as he turned and sat back down with his friend.
You cleaned up the counters and looked around, not wanting to be a creep, and stared at him longingly from behind the counter. Watching the gorgeous, tall, slim figure pick up his bag and leave. You seemed disappointed that you didn't say much other than your usual customer service script you had. A few days went by, and you only had small shifts here and there. Even though you only saw Jeonghan one time, you consistently clocked in with the hope of being able to see him again.
You heard the bell ring as you finished stocking the cups. " Welcome!" You threw out the plastic and turned around. " Oh," You smiled a bit and walked over, seeing his face again. "Iced americano again?" You smiled at him as he looked at you. He seemed a bit surprised that you remembered him but was more than happy to realize you recognized him.
"Did you want decaf? It's a bit late," You realized you might have been crossing a line and stared at the espresso machine. "No, I need the caffeine right now. I have finals coming up." You nodded and smiled at him. "What major?" You looked at him over the counter. "Visual arts, more so in photography and journalism," He watched as you carefully put the lid on, waiting to hear the click of it connecting before handing him his drink.
"Dual major?" You looked at him, impressed, as he nodded. "That's why I need the caffeine," His laugh seemed a bit awkward and weak. "I don't blame you. I tried college, but it wasn't for me," You confessed as he listened. "I put it off for a while. My friend I was here with the other day helped convince me when he applied. Everyone I graduated high school with graduates in the spring, so I'm three years behind,"
"Gap years work for a lot of people." You nodded. You watched as he took a sip of his coffee; the bitter taste was comforting to him. " I got to be honest with you," You looked at him, almost studying him but hoping he didn't pick up on it. "Yeah?" He couldn't help but question; you were so captivating to him, and he loved hearing every word leave your lips. "I don't understand how you like Americanos," You laughed softly.
He looked at you surprised. "You don't like them?!" He sounded almost offended. "It's way too strong, plus it's so insanely bitter. I give you credit." You giggled as you spoke playfully, and he shook his head. "They're so good. The bitterness is the best part. You're actually able to taste the coffee and not all the flavors and milk." You listened to him; he sounded so confident in everything he said.
"Let me make you something; I think you'll like it," You looked over at him, seeing he was already halfway through his coffee. "Alright," He walked back over to the register. "Are you allergic to anything?" You looked at him as he shook his head. "I can have everything but dairy, but sometimes it upsets my stomach." He watched you as he worked. Hearing the scream of the milk steaming, he seemed in awe as you poured in the frothed milk, watching the simple design you created on top. You closed the lid and handed it to him.
"Try it," you looked at him. He picked it up, sniffing it first, then took a sip. His body filled with warmth, and he smiled. "What is it?" He opened the lid. "Vanilla latte: one extra shot so you get your strong coffee taste and vanilla soy milk." He looked at you and smiled. "Well, keep this in mind; this might become my usual."
You nodded with a grin. " What's your name?" You didn't want to be weird that you remembered him from your "accidental" eavesdro ping. " Jeonghan," he looked at you, admiring you as you nodded. " Well, nice to meet you," you smiled widely.
"Ditto," He smiled back and looked at you. " How much for the latte?" He stared at the register as you waved your hand at him. " Free," He huffed a bit, then thought. "Do you take tips?" You nodded a bit, and he smiled, looking around the dead cafe. "Come here," You walked around the bar and headed over to him. The smell of his cologne bringing you closer to him. He looked at the pocket sewn into your apron and dropped a bill in. "Thank you," he thanked you as you reached in and went to give it back to him.
"Nope, that's yours for your amazing customer service," he winked a bit as you shook your head. He looked at you and smiled. “Alright, I'm going to go now. There's a lot to study," he laughed a bit. "Have fun," you teased. "Do you work tomorrow?" He watched you, his eyes traveling all over your body as you walked behind the bar, bending down to grab a rag to start cleaning.
"Tomorrow night and the next day, I work in the morning," You never told people your schedule, no matter how attractive, but you couldn't help yourself and you could only hope it wouldn’t be a mistake. "I'll see you then," He walked out as you still had that smile plastered on your face.
He did come the next day and the day after. You kept talking each time and coming up with a new topic. Each conversation never ended, as there was always something new that you both could talk about. The next day, you finally got the confidence and looked at him, mesmerized by the way the light from the sun was hitting his eyes revealing the mixture of chestnut and amber hues. "Can I get your number?" You asked him as you interrupted the silence that crept over, but to your delight, he nodded and smiled. "Absolutely, give me your phone,"
You pulled it out from your back pocket and handed it to him as he typed his number in for you. "There you go," He smiled softly, handing you your phone back. You tucked your phone away, sending a quick hello text beforehand. "Would you like to go on a date?" He looked at you, his spontaneity catching you off guard. "A date?" You questioned, your head almost tilted to the side, resembling a puppy dog which made Jeonghan’s heart melt a bit. "Yes. You and me. Maybe some dinner, and we can see what we decide on after," He looked at you, hoping you weren't questioning it because you didn't want to go.
"Okay," you answered, and he looked at you, his eyes meeting as he smiled at you. "I'll text you later; I have to head to class." He checked the time quickly as you nodded at him. " Sounds good! Don't stress too much," you called out as he walked out.
Jeonghannie: When are you off this week?
You checked your phone, laughing to yourself at the name he had given his contact.
Y/N: I took off this weekend :)
Jeonghannie: Perfect
You stared at your phone, the excitement filling your body for the rest of the day, knowing you were actually going on a date with him.
Jeonghan smiled as he looked at his phone. Seungkwan nudged him a bit with his elbow. "What?" Jeonghan whispered as Seungkwan lifted his chin, looking at the chat he had open. "That's the girl from the cafe, isn't it?" Jeonghan locked his phone and placed it on the table in front of him. “Yes. She asked for my number, so I gave it to her. That's all," Seungkwan nodded a bit hesitantly as he didn't fully believe him about it being just a friendship. "Fine, we're going on a date this weekend." Seungkwan's eyes opened widely, and he was in utter shock hearing him say those words.
"Stop freaking out about it," He mumbled as Seungkwan still stared at him. "I thought you were 'fucked in the head,'" His eyes glared into Jeonghan as he quoted him. "Yeah, but it's been over for a while now. I'm not going to keep pitying myself with the idea of where I fucked up. I'm not going to continue blaming myself when I didn't deserve what Sooyoung did. It didn't matter what I did for her when we were together; I did everything to keep her happy, but it was for nothing. I'm moving on. Not going to keep messing up my head," Jeonghan sighed, finishing up his rant.
"Good," Seungkwan whispered as he nodded at him. Class finished up as he walked out with Seungkwan. "So, is the cafe where you've been going almost every day?" Jeonghan smiled to himself with a faint blush. "Yeah. There's a cute barista; I had to at least talk to her a few times," Seungkwan snickered a bit. " Shut up," Jeonghan laughed, a smile setting in on his face.
He fixed his hair in the mirror, making sure he liked the way it looked as he grabbed his wallet and keys and walked out to the living room where Seungkwan was studying. "I'm leaving now," he said, walking towards the door as Seungkwan watched him. "Wow, look at you," he teased, seeing him so dressed up. "Don't wait up." He laughed as he walked out.
Jeonghannie: I'm on my way now!
Y/N: Okay! Drive safe
He smiled at your message as he got in his car, driving carefully to your place. He parked, grabbing the flowers he had bought for you out of the passenger seat and walked up to your apartment and knocked. You opened the door and smiled, seeing him.
He looked at you in awe. The little black dress you were wearing hugged your body and showed each curve you had perfectly. "Wow." He couldn't keep it in and had to let the words escape his lips. He smiled at you, admiring your body, and you did the same to him. You both had a very classic idea for date night. His black dress pants and white shirt looked incredible on him, but you knew he'd look stunning in anything.
"Oh, these are for you," he carefully handed you the bouquet he purchased. You looked at the deep red color of the roses, and your face started to match that shade. "They're beautiful," you smiled, opening your door more to invite him in. You walked over to your kitchen, grabbed a vase, and filled it with water and the food that came with the flowers as you carefully placed them in the vase. " Thank you," you looked over at him.
"Of course," he already felt himself falling for the way you smiled at him, the way your eyes had a grin to them. " I'm ready to go whenever you are," you looked at him as he nodded, standing up from the stool he found himself sitting in.
He walked with you down the stairs and checked his map application. "It's a quick walk if you'd like to do that, or we can go by car. Your choice," He looked at you. "It's nice out so that we can take a walk," You grinned up at him, his heart melting a bit inside as he thought for a moment. "Let me just get my jacket from the car." He walked over to a newer-looking sedan. You watched from the stairs of your building as he practically jogged back over to you. "Okay, we can go now," He smiled, putting the jacket on and walking with you.
He wasn't actually cold, but he figured that if you were after dinner, he could give you his jacket like in the rom-coms he swore he hated but still used to watch. He walked next to you as you headed to the restaurant. "Good evening," the hostess smiled as Jeonghan smiled back. “I have a reservation; it should be under Jeonghan." He watched as she looked in her book. "Table for two?" She looked up at him as she highlighted a part of the restaurant in purple.
She grabbed two menus and walked you to your table. You looked around the place in a bit of awe as you'd never been to a place like it. More than thirty tables were scattered around just in the main dining room. The hostess led you to the back of the restaurant, placing the menus on a round table. The table was beautifully set with a darker green tablecloth, faux candles that were flickering in the center, and a fawn-colored napkin placed on each side that wrapped up your silverware. The hostess pulled out your seat as you sat down, going to push your chair in until she did it.
Your expression must've looked surprised by the way Jeonghan stifled a laugh. You looked at the menu and quickly snuck a peek at Jeonghan. "If you don't like the menu, let me know; we can go somewhere else,” his voice was almost a whisper as you nodded. "I'll be good," You smiled at him as he nodded. "I like Italian," You reassured him as he nodded with a smile. "Have you ever been here?" He looked at you. His eyes looked so dreamy as you shook your head. "I've never been somewhere this fancy,"
You looked around, studying the area around you. The place was dim, but you could still see Jeonghan clearly. Before you could get too lost in your thoughts, the waiter came up. "Good evening. My name is Insu, and I'll be your waiter tonight. Can I get you anything to drink?" Jeonghan checked the menu one more time and then looked at you. "Do you drink wine?" He watched as you nodded, and he looked at the waiter. "Two glasses of the best Chardonnay you have, please," The waiter nodded and smiled at the two of you. "Any appetizers? I'd recommend the raw bar sampler or crab cakes or even a Caesar salad to pair with your wine." He suggested as Jeonghan nodded, and you smiled. You placed your order and looked at Jeonghan. "Do you have Venmo or something?" He shook his head, laughing a bit.
You pouted slightly. "Seriously, this meal is like half of my rent. Let me pay you for my portion." You were almost begging as he shook his head. "I asked you out, plus it's a date. I'm not going to make you pay for your meal at a place I picked." You realized it wasn't worth playfully arguing as Jeonghan was very set on not having you pay, so you backed down. "How have classes been?" You smiled at him, changing the subject. He shrugged a bit. "They've been okay. I mean, finals are happening in about a month, so I'm going to have to start cramming because half the classes go in one ear and out the other." He laughed a bit.
You listened to him as he talked about his classes. You started to regret not going, but you were also more than grateful that you didn't have to stress out studying for a grade that would make or break your future. "Sorry, I don't mean to yap so much; how has work been?" He looked at you, feeling bad that all he was doing was talking. "It was good; I don't know why we've been so understaffed a lot, but I've picked up a lot of hours." Jeonghan listened but wasn't fully grasping your words. He looked lost while watching your lips move. Nothing sexual was being said, but he couldn't help the dirty thoughts that flooded his brain. The dark rose-shaded gloss that covered your lips made him picture where else it would look just as perfect. He licked his lips a bit and took a sip from his wine. You smiled at him innocently as you finished talking.
"How long have you been there?" He posed another question so he wouldn't look as weird for staring at you like you were dessert. His eyes traveled around what he could see. "About three years," You nodded as he nodded back, looking a bit surprised to hear about your longevity in one place. "Where do you work?" You smiled at him, wanting to figure out how he had so much money that he could throw at a meal. "Oh," He seemed a bit flustered. "I don't. I'm focused more on school right now. Luckily, my family lets me buy using their credit card for now." He sounded embarrassed, like he didn't want to tell you. He read your expression as you nodded. "I do want to get a job once I get my degree," you nodded again; you weren't expecting it, but you weren't too surprised seeing his new car and the fancier clothing he’d wear just to stop by for some coffee.
You watched him sign the check and stood up, pulling your chair out for you as you got up and walked towards the door with him. You held your small clutch purse tight to your body as a chill came over you from the late-night breeze. "Cold?" He questioned a bit as you nodded. You saw him take off his jacket quickly and place it around your body. He wouldn't verbally say it, but he was a bit proud of the moment he wanted to happen, which was actually playing out.
He walked with you back to your place as you smiled up at him. "I had an amazing time. Thank you for dinner; next time, it's on me," He looked down at you, a gentle smile spreading on his cheeks. "You want another date with me?" He questioned as a faint blush spread on your face. "I mean, if you'd like another one with me?" It came out as a question as he nodded. "I'd love to go out with you again," You stood at the door of your apartment.
"Want to come in?" You questioned as he nodded a bit. "Sure, as long as it's not a hassle," You shushed him a bit as you pulled your keys out of your bag and unlocked your door, letting him in and following after. You locked the door behind you as you put your purse on the counter. Your apartment was neat and bright from the white counters and backsplash mixed with the bright white LED lights. "Make yourself at home," You bent down a bit to take off the heels you were wearing. He walked over to your couch and sat down.
"Do you want anything? Water? Coffee?" You looked at him. "I'll take a water, please," He looked over at you. You nodded as you grabbed two bottles and walked over to him, handing him one and opening the other one for yourself. You sat down on the couch next to him. "Thank you again for dinner," You took off his coat and placed it on the back of the sofa next to him. "And thank you for letting me wear that," You brushed off the back of the coat, ridding of a few pieces of your hair.
“Anytime,” His eyes wandered, looking over every inch of your body. He studied every curve of your body, the way your tits sat perfectly in that tight dress. He felt so worked up as his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. You noticed and moved in closer to him. "Do it," Your voice was soft as his eyes darted to meet yours, he was a bit surprised that you caught him. He placed his hand on the side of your face gently as he kissed you. His gentle lips were soft and needy as he pulled you in closer to him.
You held onto his shoulders as he pulled you to sit on his lap. His tongue moved in sync with yours as you had your arms loosely wrapped around his neck. You pulled away, putting your forehead on his to let you both catch your breath. "I got my lipstick on you," You started to wipe it off with your thumb as a smirk crept onto his face. "Can it go somewhere else?" He gave you such a suggestive look, making your stomach backflip.
"Oh yeah?" Your voice was low but playful as you leaned to whisper in his ear. "And where is that?" You playfully unbuttoned his shirt. He moved you carefully, making you giggle a bit as he leaned to whisper in your ear this time. "I want to see those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock," He was forward, not wanting to play with you. He stood up as your eyes followed him. "I can make that happen," You murmured.
He threw his shirt off, and then his pants followed within moments of you agreeing. You looked at the length that was being compressed in his boxers. He pulled it out, looking at you as you sat on the couch. Your eyes stayed locked on his cock. He was bigger than you expected, but you weren't going to complain. You wrapped your hand around his thick base and started to move it. Twisting and moving it up and down. Soft groans escaped from his lips as you put his cock in your mouth.
He pressed his lips together, loving the feeling of the warmth your mouth gave him. "You're such a pretty girl," He breathed. Your eyes connected with his as you swirled your tongue around his tip. "Fuck yes," He groaned under his breath. You kept your pace as your cheeks hollowed against his length. The warmth of your mouth made him moan. He watched your head bob up and down as your hand still worked on jerking him from the base of his length.
He pursed his lips, not wanting to cum just yet. He tangled his fingers in your hair. "Get on the couch," His voice was gentle as you pulled away from him. He helped you stand up and kissed your reddened lips. "Sit," You sat down on the couch like he told you to. He pushed your stomach lightly to have you lie down. He kissed your lips, biting down carefully as he reached under your dress and pulled your panties down. Throwing them somewhere in your living room.
He smirked to himself as he felt your wetness. You shivered a bit at the feeling as he pushed his middle finger in gently, moving his finger slowly before pulling out to rub your sensitive bud. You moaned against his lips as he moved his finger carefully, not wanting to overwhelm your body with his touch.
His fingers played with your wetness, moving from your soaking wet cunt to your swollen clit. Every motion had you moaning out. "J-Jeonghan," You stuttered as he smirked, placing kisses on every available place of your body. His fingers moved in a come-hither motion. "That feels so fucking good," You mewled out. He loved hearing your words of encouragement as he continued.
His foreplay was sending you into a deep state of euphoria as he watched you. "Do you want to go further?" He wanted to make sure you actually wanted to fuck and not just play with each other for now. "Yes," You couldn't help but plead. "I want your cock in me so bad, Jeonghan," You were begging him at this point as he moved his fingers away from you. He grabbed his pants off the floor and opened his wallet. Grabbing the gold foil and ripping it open, he slid on the rubber from inside.
"Are you okay with riding?" He spoke so sweetly as he sat down next to you. You nodded at him as you slid off your dress. He stared at your figure in awe as you moved to hover over him. "Take your time," His voice was gentle as you nodded, slowly sinking onto his length. Moans slipped out of your mouth as he groaned, feeling your tight opening wrap around him.
His hands placed themselves on your hips as you slowly started to move. He grunted as you slowly rolled your hips against him, feeling your walls adjust to him. "You're doing so fucking good." He couldn't help but praise you, and it was helping as your pace picked up as you bounced on him. He watched your tits for a moment before pulling you in closer to him, taking one of him in his mouth as he flicked your nipple with his tongue.
"Oh fuck, Jeonghan," You whimpered as he continued; his tongue started to swirl around your nipple as you groaned, and he moved to the other side of your chest to repeat the same actions. He held your ass before taking control of the pacing for you. His cock pushed deeper inside you. His thrusts were more desperate than yours were as they made you cry out his name.
"You like that baby?" He smirked a bit as your cheeks deepened in color at the sudden pet name. "Fuck yes," You purred. The sound of your thighs hitting filled the room, and his thrusts started to become pounds as you cursed and yelled out his name. "God, you're so fucking perfect," His grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your skin. Your moans grew louder as he covered your mouth. "We wouldn't want a noise complaint, would we?" His eyes were dark and full of lust as you bit your lip.
He removed his hand from your face and placed it on the nape of your neck, pulling you into him as he kissed you. His saliva spreading on your lips from his sloppiness. He watched your expression for a moment as he pulled away. "I'm going to fucking cum, Jeonghan," Your eyes rolled back as he continued to move his hips into you. "Do it for me, babe," He cooed.
You felt your body dissolve into pleasure as your walls spasmed against his dick. He groaned as he pulled you in closer, biting your shoulder lightly as his cock twitched inside as he climaxed. You felt his grip on you loosen a bit as he panted. "You're so beautiful," He looked at you, his hair sticking to his forehead as he smiled up at you. "You felt so good; I'm sorry I took over," He apologized as he fixed your hair and then put his hand on your cheek.
"It's okay," You blushed. "I liked it better when you started fucking me," You admitted smiling a bit. "I also didn't mean to take you out to dinner and fuck right after the first date." He laughed a bit shortly. "I wasn't planning on it either," You confessed to him. "But it was a heat of the moment thing, and I think both of us enjoyed it. Or at least I did," You smiled at him as he nodded quickly. "I enjoyed it a lot,"
You got off of him and walked to your bedroom to grab yourself some clothes. You walked out and saw he had already put his pants and shirt back on. "I'm going to go home, okay?" He looked over at you. You checked the time on your stove and saw it was eleven thirty. "Alright, thank you for dinner and everything, Jeonghan. I'd love to go out again," You smiled up at him as he nodded. "I'll text you," He kissed your cheek as he walked out.
Once he got home, he saw Seungkwan waiting for him. "How was your date?" Seungkwan looked over as Jeonghan tossed his keys on the counter. "It was good. I had a really, really good time, and I think she did too." He looked through the mail on the counter as Seungkwan studied him, seeing his disheveled hair that was sticking to his forehead. "Did you guys just have dinner?" He questioned.
Jeonghan rolled his eyes as he responded. "Yep. Dinner, and she invited me to her place afterward," Seungkwan nodded. “Are you seeing her again?" Jeonghan nodded in response. “I'd love to. She's perfect, so I want to keep seeing her." He finally looked over at him.
Y/N: I hope you made it home safely! I really appreciate everything from tonight. Would you like to go and see a new movie that comes out next week? I'm off Thursday and Saturday.
Jeonghannie: I would love to! Thursday is the only day I don't have class, so that would be perfect.
Y/N: See you then
Jeonghan smiled as he put his phone away. "I'm heading to bed, night Seungkwan." He walked to his room and shut the door behind him.
You spent your days counting down in between each date the two of you had. It took Jeonghan a bit, but he finally, as Seungkwan would say, "Grew a pair" and asked you out.
The two of you grew inseparable, and you became close with Seungkwan, too. Once you moved in the three of you ended up doing a lot together. When they were having cram sessions you’d always make sure to come home with coffees to give them. Jeonghan felt so lucky to have you in his life, especially at that moment. He sat in his chair, looking around at the stadium full of people.
"Welcome, families and graduates," the dean's soft voice said as he spoke into the microphone that didn’t help his voice reach the whole stadium. He continued his speech about the college, and the ceremony began. You searched the chairs from high up, trying to see if you could find Jeonghan. The list of names went on and on.
Y/N: I can't find you :(
You sent your message and kept looking around.
Jeonghannie: I'm three rows in front of the last. Middle of the row!
He looked down and searched. His mahogany-shaded hair didn't stand out from the crowd, but once he started moving, you could spot him, seeing the yellow top of his cap.
Y/N: I see you, pookie <3
Jeonghannie: I can't see you :( That's unfair
Y/N: Wait until after ;)
He smiled at your message and put his phone away, as his name was close to being called.
"Yoon Jeonghan," The dean called out as Jeonghan shook his hand. Holding the diploma close and taking his photo op with the dean and others from the administration.
You cheered for him, watching as he looked around and finally made eye contact with you. He smiled so brightly as he sat back down in his seat.
Y/N: Look at my smart, handsome, and perfect graduate boyfriend!
You giggled as you sent your message with a picture you took of him.
Jeonghannie: God, I love you
You smiled at his message as you waited for the ceremony to wrap up, it took another forty minutes but once they announced the last name and thanked everyone you made your way out of the stadium. Then, you walked out to the main campus and waited for him with a bouquet of crimson carnations that coordinated with the school's colors. You looked around eagerly, waiting for him.
You heard his laugh as he spoke with someone else, and your face lit up when you saw him. You let a few people pass before you ran up, practically jumping into his arms, and he held you. "I'm so proud of you," Your voice was gentle as you spoke into his ear, kissing his cheek as he squeezed you a bit. He kissed your nose and smiled. "I love you so much, Y/N,"
You watched as he pulled away from the hug. You held the flowers and smiled at him. Your expression became a bit confused as he got on one knee, pulling a box out of his pocket.
"Like every day, I want to make it about us, not just me or you. I want to be with you every day for the rest of our lives. I love you more than I could even put into words, Y/N," You watched as he took a deep breath and opened the box. "Will you marry me?" Your mouth was left agape as you stared at the beautiful rock he was holding out to you. You realized you didn't say anything and smiled at him. "Yes, absolutely." Happy tears came down your face as he stood up, sliding the ring on your finger gently before placing a kiss on your lips.
#jeonghan#yoon jeonghan#kvanity#klibrary#jeonghan smut#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan fluff#jeonghan seventeen#jeonghan x y/n#seventeen fanfic#seventeen#seventeen smut#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#svt#svt smut#svt x reader#svt fluff#jeonghan svt#seventeen jeonghan#svt jeonghan
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take a shot. ksm.
kim seungmin x fem!reader — it really shouldn't take a genius to figure out that you and your co-star didn't get along. you knew kim seungmin. you knew how life functioned despite the cameras. and you knew that it was harder to keep a good shot hidden than it was to delete a bad one.
genre/s — drama, angst, fluff, a sprinkle of comedy, actors au, enemies to lovers, slowburn • 19.4k words
warning/s — y/n gets referred to with she/her pronouns, profanity, implied death taken lightly (humor purposes), miscommunication to too much communication, y/n easily gets into a bad headspace, inaccurate depictions of filming a movie, the angst is strong = the fluff is strong, other idols are mentioned as characters along with skz members, mentions of alcohol in a scene
note — my longest fic yet !! it also took me so long to finish this (like three weeks i believe) and there were some struggles that happened in the making of this, but it turned out to be my most favorite work ive done ever. thank you for the people who patiently waited for this since the teaser, and remember that reblogs & feedbacks are greatly appreciated 🫶 i hope you enjoy the read !!
2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.
00 : ZERO.
“I’m sorry, what?”
The car remained silent despite your words of confusion. You felt as though your world had come to an extreme halt, giving you a whiplash as the buzz of the road outside continued to pierce through your ears. There was nothing else to keep your mind away from the absolute bomb of news that was just given to you; your manager had turned it down before uttering the horrid sentence that brought your untimely demise.
The car may have kept on with its task of moving forward—but you were stuck frozen in place.
“You’re joking.”
Your world fell on seemingly deaf ears. The man up front, steering the wheel, rendered himself mute to your growing distress, finding the busy traffic of city life interesting enough to keep his eyes glued. But the urban chaos didn’t distract you one bit from brewing a storm of gunpowder inside your throat.
And just like that, a ghost of a click was heard.
“No—please tell me you’re joking,” you voiced out, tone betraying your attempts at keeping things respectful. It soon came to your attention that the effort was of no use, as your manager still chose to keep his peace. “Changbin!”
The car swiveled a bit off-lane for a second before returning to its correct course. Normally, such an abrupt action by a vehicle would concern you, as you would argue that you were still much too young to suffer at the hands of a road accident, but no such thoughts even made their way into your brain. Just like how time had stopped for you, there was no time for debating over survival either. One life-or-death situation was already enough for you.
You wanted answers, and you were going to get them.
Changbin exhaled audibly from the scare he just put both of you through. His hands shook with a slight tremor, and that was all it took for him to decide that pulling over to the nearest parking area was for the best.
“Don’t yell in the car like that!” You scoffed at his scolding, finding the whole situation ironic.
“Oh, so you can do it all the time, but I can’t?” You shot back. Changbin sighed tiredly, finally registering the extent of your agitation. "Plus, I have a perfectly good reason why I’m yelling!”
“Listen, Y/N, it’s really not that bad—”
“Yes, it is that bad!” The words spill out of your mouth in utter disbelief at his attempts at assurance. “I’m working with Kim Seungmin, of all people!”
“And that’s why it’d be fine!” Changbin argued, running a hand through his already tousled hair. You blinked at his reply, baffled by the sheer implication.
“—How?”
Changbin clicked his tongue at the question, finding it hard to digest just why you were so against working with the mentioned actor. With the mere sound of that actor’s name spat out of your mouth, one would think that he had somehow managed to offend your entire bloodline. But that kind of bitterness could only be achieved through a sour history, so you really couldn’t empathize with your manager’s mindset either.
Even you knew that this movie would be enormously successful from the director alone. Director Han Jisung’s influence and presence in the industry were not a laughing matter—in fact, you should already be trembling in anxiety just knowing that you snagged probably the biggest role you’d ever get in your whole career. He was only around the same age as you, but the winding list of his achievements was already one for the records. And yet, here you were rethinking your contract with him even before the project started.
Just because of who you were going to be acting alongside with.
“Seungmin is a nice person,” Changbin explained gently like he was coaxing a child, intentionally ignoring the way your face scrunched up at what he said. “I did my research, ok? Everyone only has high praises for him, both on and off-set. Isn’t that enough to be trusted?”
You bit your tongue to stop yourself from digging a deeper hole to lie in. The answer was no—it wasn’t enough to be trusted. Now, at this point, someone would’ve had half a mind to ask why you were so sure about your vendetta against the man. If a person was so well loved in a world where cameras were pointed at them in every waking minute, then shouldn’t all the dirt be found by now, if there was any?
To that, your answer would be yet another no.
Because you knew Kim Seungmin. You knew how life functioned despite the cameras. And you knew that it was harder to keep a good shot hidden than it was to delete a bad one.
“Turn the car around.”
Changbin’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets at your demand. Surely, he had heard you now. You crossed your arms and leaned back to rest comfortably on the car seat, turning your head to face the window and glare at the world outside, continuing on with their lives like a well-followed routine.
“Y/N, this is a big opportunity—”
“I said, turn the car around. I’m not attending this cursed table reading.” You pinched the bridge of your nose to keep the incoming migraine at bay.
“You really think I’ll willingly step into a room with the devil’s incarnate? I’d rather get shot—”
01 : ONE.
“—sensing a great shot!”
Director Han Jisung nodded positively at your performance, satisfied with your initial portrayal of the female lead.
“If we keep going like this, then I’m expecting this project to be a big hit. The casting team really did their pay’s worth on this one,” the young director hummed. “Especially you, Actor Kim Seungmin. I don’t know how they managed to get through your company's walls, but I’m glad they did. You’re perfect for the role!”
You felt your eye twitch as the figure bearing the name appeared within your vision. His mouth curled up into an arrogant smirk, hastily covered up by a bashful smile. You cringed at his actions that only you seemed to see. Why was this prick acting all humble?
“Ah, I always wanted to act in one of your films, Director Han. This is more of an amazing opportunity for me than you, honestly.”
That smoothed honey voice wrapped itself around the room’s premise, charming everyone around like it was coming from an alluring siren. All except you.
Your mouth filled with a coating of spite as his next sentence echoed through your ears. His eyes locked you in as a target, a wordless challenge shooting straight at your own.
“Plus, seeing who my co-star is, I’m quite thrilled to see the end product,” Seungmin grinned with a manic glint.
Fuck. You should’ve turned that damned car around yourself. Maybe then you’d be enjoying a relaxing time in the tub, surrounded by bubbling suds of fragrant soap, instead of being a frontliner in this mental war your acting counterpart seemed to subject yourselves to. Now, you had to withstand the feeling of your body instantly going on auto-pilot after his words.
It was commendable, really—how Seungmin could take over a space of this size filled with various types of people so easily. He had major talent in that field, which greatly accentuated his acting power. Seungmin had a way with words, and while you would never be caught praising him out loud, you couldn’t help but acknowledge the bitter truth deep inside the darkest parts of your brain. It was almost obsessive, the way your mind zeroed in on his presence. Even as you let the busy table chatter away into a buzzing noise that barely made its way coherently through your ears, your eyes stayed glued to the figure in front of you, carefully studying his mannerisms as he enthusiastically interacted with everyone. You weren’t someone who Seungmin’s charms would work on—instead, you felt like prey, waiting to be pounced on any second now.
Before you knew it, the table reading came to a close. You could faintly remember standing and packing your things quietly, more focused on the sudden stinging feeling you felt coming from your eyes, already threatening to water. “This is ridiculous,” you huffed in frustration. Why did you feel the need to cry like a child at this very moment?
“With the way your script is being shoved in that tiny bag, yeah, I would say that too.”
“Leave me alone, Kim.”
You hear him chuckle, causing your grip on your leather bag’s opening to become tighter, feeling the metal zipper bite at your palm. “There’s a lot of Kims here, Y/N. Be careful now; they might mistake you for being rude to them,” he chirps. Fucking chirps. Like a small bird who deserves to be doted on. Except the man before you was neither small nor deserved to be doted on—Kim Seungmin would never be described in any of those words in your world.
“Right. Since they’re also talking to me right now,” you scoffed back. Thankfully, that seemed to keep the tears at bay for now. You refused to break down in front of the most infuriating man in your life.
“Still stuck up as ever,” he sighs. Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets at his comment. You? Stuck up? If anything, that would be him! “This would be our first piece together after that charity drama our acting academy did way back a few years ago, so would it kill you to be civil?”
Ah. There it was. The infamous acting academy.
JYP Academy of Theatrics was admittedly one of the most successful acting academies in the country, known for producing many big name acts throughout its years of operation. Every aspiring actor has probably gone through the phase of wanting to be part of the academy’s carefully limited population of trainees—you included.
You remember the first time you brought up your plans on becoming an actress to your parents; their apprehensive faces telling you to try going to an acting academy first before giving up everything and running towards your dream blind. Young you didn’t realize the underlying implication that your parents were expecting you to be discouraged and give up on your thoughts of becoming an actress for good. Instead, you aimed high with the thoughts of their support, confidently applying for JYP Academy.
To your parents’ surprise, you passed both rounds of the screening, becoming a full-fledged acting academy trainee at one of the most prestigious places for it. It was also where you met the thorn in your life that was standing before you at the present.
“And frankly, I’m looking forward to this. So can we not ruin the mood on set?” He had the nerve to add. That was all you needed for your last string of restraint to snap.
“Why? So you could enjoy the power trip of watching me fumble around like a headless chicken after getting scolded a thousand times for my horrible acting skills?”
“What?”
You watched as Seungmin’s face morphed from exhaustion into a look of confusion at what you had just said. However, you knew better than to give him the benefit of the doubt—so you continued to shoot your bullets at him.
“I know you, Kim Seungmin,” you motioned towards him. “Don’t you dare think I’ve forgotten your days at the acting academy, especially that damned charity drama. But consider yourself lucky, since I won’t drag your ass down this time, Golden Boy. In fact, watch me shine on set even if it’s against your will or whatever is going on in that ego of yours, because I refuse to bow down to you. Things may have been different seven years ago, but I’ve grown since then. So if you want to prove to me that you have to, then know how to keep your mouth to yourself around me.”
After your little round of firing the pent-up rage inside of you, you snatched your bag from the table and stormed out of the room without another word. You had half the mind to worry if anyone had heard your little squabble with Seungmin, but you were already too far down the hall to go back and check, risking a blow to your conscience if ever you tried to go back. You only had the fact that you had managed to keep your voice surprisingly low throughout the whole exchange to console you.
With this, you continued your trek towards the parking lot to meet your manager once again—blissfully unaware of the state in which you left your co-star back in the room.
“What the fuck just happened?”
It took everything in Seungmin to not march after you and demand an explanation for what you had just said to him. In all honesty, Seungmin was baffled. Out of all the possible scenarios he had imagined to happen when meeting you, this was definitely not one of them. Sure, you two weren’t exactly the best of friends way back in your academy years, but he had at least considered you an acquaintance.
Even then, he didn’t remember your relationship being this bad. For all the times the both of you clashed heads, he couldn’t recall a single time serious bad blood was developed. The memory of you laughing joyfully as he messed up a line in your shared scene together on a monthly evaluation was still fresh in his memories—so just where did this hostility come from? If he were to base his conclusion off your words earlier, then it must have something to do with the charity drama, and that only made Seungmin more lost.
What you said earlier did hold some truth to them—you were scolded a lot by their advisor, slash project director, but in no way did you do badly in the production. Seungmin could testify to that. After all, he was witness to the amount of praise you got from fellow trainees as they watched you act out your scenes on camera, even though his younger counterpart was jealous of all the positive feedback. So now, he really couldn’t understand where your deep-rooted bitterness towards him came from. He even gave you some tips during the times you seemingly struggled with their advisor’s vision!
“Seungmin?”
He turned over to where his name was just called, seeing his manager approach him while bowing politely towards the small number of production staff left in the room. “Oh, did I take too long, Minho?”
“Yeah, but it’s alright. I knew you were going to catch up with a friend,” Minho looked around for a bit before continuing, “Speaking of which, did she go already?” Seungmin couldn’t stop himself from clicking his tongue at his manager’s words.
“It’s a long story.”
Well, two can play that game. If you truly knew him like you said you did, then you would know that Kim Seungmin isn’t one to give up when he sets his mind to something.
02 : TWO.
You wanted to give up right at this very moment.
Today was the first day of filming for the movie you were cast in as the female lead, yet here you were, one push away from having a mental breakdown. It was your first lead role—one that you had wished on countless stars to get ever since signing a contract with your current agency. Yet, now that you actually have it, you were left unsure of whether your acting could do proper justice to the character given to you. The confidence you flared towards Kim Seungmin a few days ago was nowhere to be found right now as anxious thoughts swirled through your head instead.
When you first read the script as one of your manager’s proposals for your next project, you instantly felt like the female lead’s role spoke to you the most. The plot itself was a masterpiece, clearly right up Director Han’s alley with its sentimental undertone and themes of self-discovery. It followed the male lead, returning back to his hometown for a high school reunion after just deciding to quit his job at a well-known corporation in the city. At the reunion, he meets the female lead, whom he remembers having the biggest crush on back in his teenage years—before he moved to the city for college.
In comparison, the female lead never left their homey countryside town. She attended the nearby community college and also settled her adult life in the same area. However, that didn’t mean that what she had achieved was all she wanted to do in life. Like everyone else, she too, had her own dreams. Unfortunately, she lacked confidence in herself to chase opportunities and got stuck right where her starting line was.
And in a way, she spoke to you.
You didn’t want to admit it, but perhaps you regret running your mouth like that at your co-star during the table read. It was a moment of weakness, you tried to tell yourself. Emotional you talked too big for what you could handle, so now you were left here to deal with the consequences of your actions.
But lies had their truths too.
It was true that you wanted to shine on set—outshining Kim Seungmin was just an added bonus to the thought. You’ve spent far too long in others’ shadows, never really feeling like you had the chance to show your fullest potential. That was something you fought for constantly, starting from your days at the academy up until the present, only to have no such luck. Maybe that was why you developed a habit of becoming pessimistic at the worst times, becoming your own enemy as you fall into a pit of self-sabotage, effectively going against everything you’ve ever wished for yourself. It was a cycle of keeping yourself confused with your own decisions, and it was a frustrating process.
You could only stare from the actors’ corner on the site as you watched the crew members run around making final arrangements for today’s shoot. Normally, you wouldn’t have seen this part of the process, as actors would often arrive later on when everything was nearly set, during their actual call time. You just intentionally went early, deciding that you weren’t going to get any more sleep even if you tried, seeing as most of the previous night was spent trying to make sure you had your lines all perfected. Sleep came rough yesterday, and you had no one else to blame but your own nerves.
At least the set looked great—today you were filming all the scenes needed for the high school reunion. The place was this quaint function hall in a small town about seven hours from the capital city, the same town you would be staying in to shoot for a little less than a week. You couldn’t help but think that maybe the new environment contributed more towards your slowly diminishing confidence, feeling yourself too far away from the strong presence of individualistic urban life. A defeated sigh was all you could do in attempt to ease yourself, even the slightest.
“I’m beginning to think this is going to become a pattern,” you hear a familiar toned voice comment. “Meeting you distressed, I mean.”
You spare the figure a half-hearted glance before rolling your eyes, forcing out an appropriate greeting. Or what was appropriate in your books, anyway.
“Oh, it’s you.”
Seungmin’s face displayed his feelings of amusement, which in turn made your frown deepen. “Not even a good afternoon? That’s harsh of you, Y/N,” he says in a tone made for mockery. “You really don’t like seeing my face, huh?”
“More like, I just don’t like you, period,” you grumbled in annoyance. “Also, why are you even here this early?”
Your surprise at his punctuality was real; you were not expecting to see him on set three hours early. But maybe you should have foreseen this behavior, seeing as the Seungmin you knew back then was also one to be on time during all lessons, activities, and practices. A part of you was then thankful for the question coming off as general because if you added any more comparisons, it would’ve seemed like you held on to too much information on him from the past.
“Just because I’m the main character doesn’t mean I should be fashionably late. Would it tick you off to know that I like being punctual with things?”
“Yeah,” was your immediate reply, not needing to think about it any further. “Since now, I have to time myself to arrive just before the call time.”
Seungmin lets out a deep sigh at your words. “You don’t want to spend any more time with me than necessary, got it.” He says, then lifting a finger up to tap against his ear. “But you know, you should really learn to keep your plans away from enemy ears.”
You tried your best not to show the inner war that just sparked inside of your head—you really shouldn’t have found that small gesture attractive, but the romantic side in you swooned so easily against your will. And for what? Kim Seungmin, of all people? You really should tone down all the enemies-to-lovers content you were consuming, because this was the last thing you wanted to happen. Real life just doesn’t play out like that.
Giving him some slack and perhaps a half-assed attempt at reverse psychology, you replied with a tired tone. “I’ll agree with you on that one, so you may walk away now, Kim.”
Except that Seungmin didn’t seem to catch the memo.
“Says the one who keeps talking,” he snarks at you. “For someone who told me to keep my mouth to myself around you, you’re the one who keeps the conversation flowing.”
You rolled your eyes for the second time since starting this conversation. At this point, you were convinced that Kim Seungmin was on a mission to dislocate it. “You just have to win everything, do you?”
“It’s my charm, I suppose.”
“And I disagree. The only charm you have is that mouth of yours you use to manipulate everyone around you.”
That seemed to snap something within Seungmin. “What the hell did I ever do to you?” He spits out furiously. “I would’ve already sued you for defamation if you acted like this around everyone else, so you should be thankful that I’m being tolerant of your attitude right now.”
“Thankful? Why would I be thankful?” Was your baffled response. “You know, I’m starting to believe that you don’t remember what you put me through all those years ago at all, and it’s only making me more upset that you seem to hold no remorse whatsoever.”
“If it’s that bad, then go ahead and tell me!” Seungmin hissed in an attempt to keep his voice down and not cause a scene. “I don’t have time for this roundabout game you have going on, and honestly, neither should you. We have a high-profile movie to film, and I would never let whatever this is ruin the hard work of a hundred people—so get your head out of your ass and either clench your teeth and save the working environment we have or be a dear and solve this issue with me right now.”
Now you were just barely containing your rage. It was at this point that you realized that Seungmin wasn’t faking anything; and that made it sting a lot more in your already scarred heart. Of course, someone like him wouldn’t understand why you were acting like this. Someone like him, born talented enough to be loved and praised by everyone, would never see the other side that you had to be dragged through—the side that existed all because of people like him, too.
“Fuck you, Kim Seungmin,” you croaked out through tears. “I knew someone like you would never understand.”
And you ran.
“What are—Y/N! Come back here!”
03 : THREE.
“Y/N, where in the world even are you? You need to come back to the actors’ tent right now!”
Changbin’s voice boomed through your phone’s speaker a lot louder than usual, causing you to jerk it away from your ear in pain. Well, you did deserve the scolding—after running off to God knows where in a relatively remote town you didn’t even know, you would be pissed as hell too if you were your manager. What kind of actress just leaves the set without a single thought like that?
“I swear, Y/N. Do not tell me you’re lost because I’m pretty sure I left you somewhere safe the last time I saw you,” you hear Changbin huff on the opposite end. “I can’t believe you told me that you were going to be fine on your own, and I actually trusted you. That’s it! I’m not letting you wander around the set anymore from this point onwards!”
You couldn’t help but find your manager’s rant funny, despite the clear threat being held above your head. “Really? I’m telling you that it’s almost call time, and you’re just laughing. Fine, go on your own soul-searching, or whatever it is you’re doing. I’m telling everyone you left your role to go play hooky—”
Oh, you could only wish. After your little squabble with Seungmin, playing hooky didn’t sound like a bad option. Sadly, you still had a conscience that weighed on you—even more hypersensitive to the people around it with your co-star’s earlier comment of ruining other people’s hard work. You hurriedly shook your head to get rid of the negative thoughts that were starting to plague your head once again, and instead focused on the group of trees that lined the path towards the entrance of the function hall.
“Changbin, I’m fine.”
“Damn right, you should be!” He screeches one last time before calming down. “But in all seriousness, you need to head over here now, or Director Han is going to chew me a new one. He knows my sister, and I don’t want to be berated for not doing my job properly by her of all people.”
You chuckled at the competitiveness in his voice. “Don’t worry, I just took a short walk for fresh air. You know how nervous I was earlier on the way to the set.” Changbin hummed in acknowledgement.
“And on the way to this town in general,” he teases. It didn’t last long, though, since he immediately followed up on your well-being with a soft tone. “Did the walk help? I can get you some hot tea too, if you want.”
“Look at you, finally being a proper manager,” you threw back at him, snickering as offended noises started to pour out of your phone. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll take you up on that tea offer. Plus, I’m just around the corner now.”
Once you saw his figure coming into view, you hung up the call and opted to wave your right arm to catch his attention. Changbin broke out into a frantic sprint towards you the minute he saw you approaching.
“Oh, thank whatever deity there is. You need to head over to the tent right now and—” He suddenly stopped mid-sentence, holding you still at arms length to give you a look of confusion as he scanned your face. “Did you cry? Why are your eyes like that?”
Shoot. You had totally forgotten about that for a second. “Ah,” was all you could muster in a sheepish daze. “It was just to let the nerves out, you know? It’s nothing serious.”
Changbin narrowed his eyes at your excuse, making you hold your breath unintentionally. It felt as though you were being picked apart, trying to find the truth that you desperately wanted to keep hidden. Eventually, the man before you decided to let it be, sending you off with an exhausted wave.
“Hm. Alright, and it’s already going away, so it must’ve just been a light session. Try to blink it out more so that it’s long gone once you step in front of the cameras.”
You silently breathed out a sigh of relief. “Will do. Thanks, Changbin.”
“Stop being a sap and head over to the tent already,” he chuckles before sending you a comforting smile. “Good luck. I’ll just be here.”
A grateful look found its way onto your face as you walked briskly towards the actors’ tent. You should really treat Changbin to dinner after all of this is over, you think to yourself, putting on your game face and entering the enclosed area with a newly steeled heart.
Now, Seungmin wasn’t the type to be overly concerned with others’ business. While he wouldn’t exactly call himself an extreme individualist, he still did have an appreciation for community. You wouldn’t catch him dead in the act of trying to mingle with someone else’s issues if it had nothing to do with him. However, all that seemed to somehow fly out the window whenever it had something to do with you.
To him, you were a person qualified enough to be considered intertwined with his own life. Sure, he hadn’t seen you in person for years, but that still would never be able to erase the fact that you knew him behind the cameras. Actually, even worse.
You knew the person he was before he even took up acting as a career.
Perhaps that was why he was so bothered by the way you were acting with him recently. He doesn’t even recall ever being that hostile to someone since his high school days, and that alone terrified him. It was like he regressed back to the days of his youth whenever he interacted with you—and that did more harm than good. The younger him was full of teen angst that he wanted to bury deep inside the confines of his past, but the animosity you seemed to harbor personally against him made him wonder if he was truly missing important information from that era of you both.
So when he saw you walk into the tent with fading redness evident in your eyes, just right after your small fight with him earlier, he instantly felt a punch in his gut. In all honesty, he wasn’t aiming to make you cry—it just so happened that the spur of the moment was so intense that he spat out things he barely meant. Sure, they still stemmed from the truth of how he felt since he did want to make amends with you, but even he wants to kick himself for the way he worded things so out of pocket. His reaction to the situation was so childish that it would be easier to think he finally went insane from the busy schedules he’s been doing than believe that what he did was a conscious decision. He was supposed to be the mature one at that moment, reaching out to fix the issue.
And yet here he was, feeling like a child in front of you.
He wanted to approach you, apologize for earlier, and maybe another one for whatever stupidity his old self did that was clearly bad enough for his mind to completely block out entirely. If you were reacting this much, it had to be at least somewhat of a traumatizing experience. Seungmin doesn’t think he ever got that bad back then, but everyone had different perspectives—and yes, young him had a tendency to be a prick. He still had friends, though, and no one ever called him in to discuss his behavior, so it wasn’t like he was a bully.
Either way, he felt the need to apologize—and maybe get an apology back, but his legs wouldn’t let him. A part of him knew that if he did approach you at the moment, you might run away again, and it was almost time for the briefing. Instead, he settled on looking at you across the pop-up room, hoping that his silent sentiment was delivered.
Which it was not. At all.
If anything, it added more pressure to whatever nerves you were holding back. Seungmin’s gaze was so piercing to the point that you didn’t even need to turn and look to know that he had his eyes locked on you. What does he want from you now? Oh, right—you two would be filming your scenes together in a matter of about an hour or two. Maybe this was Seungmin’s way of telling you to get your shit together while finally respecting your wishes to be left alone. Improvement is improvement, so you’d leave him alone to do his thing too.
“All right, is everyone here?” A lean man in his mid-twenties walked in, asking everyone inside. There was another person following him, yet seemingly younger. “It seems so. If someone you know is late, just fill them in with the details later.”
The first man lifted up a thick bind of paper, which you quickly recognized as the script. “I’m sure everyone has read their copy of this. My name is Hwang Hyunjin, and I’m the head scriptwriter for this film. Over here to my side is Yang Jeongin, my assistant. We’re here to give you a briefing on how this shoot will go for today since Director Han and Assistant Director Lee are busy with the filming crew as of the moment.”
So they were the ones behind the script. You felt your excitement levels increase as various questions about the story’s making filled your head—but you would save that for another day. Perhaps during the crew dinner after the movie’s filming was completed.
“Today, we’ll be filming one of the first scenes in the movie—the reunion. That’s why there’s a lot of you are here right now, despite the story only really having a few recurring characters. Still, whatever your role is, I hope you take this opportunity with pride. All of you here will be treated as actors for as long as you stand on this set, so have the dignity of one. Whether you have lines or not, what I expect from all of you is your best, and only your best,” Head Scriptwriter Hwang emphasized.
The briefing continued on with the necessary information for the reunion scene, with detailed clarifications and stage directions. If you weren’t locked in on all the information being fed to you, you would’ve had half the mind to acknowledge how strikingly handsome the man was upfront. A few others did, though, and you couldn’t really blame them. The guy could be an actor himself if he wanted to be.
“And I believe that’s all for now,” Head Scriptwriter Hwang clapped his hands in satisfaction. “Hair and makeup will take care of you all for about an hour and a half. I see that some of you already came prepared, so go ahead and touch up yourself if you want to. Main characters, you have your own booths,” he glances towards the stations at the end of the tent.
“You’ll be called up when needed. Actor Kim Seungmin, please get ready first since we need you for the entrance shots. That is all. Good luck.”
Head Scriptwriter Hwang bows politely to all of you before exiting the tent with Assistant Yang. With that, the battlefield begins.
You couldn’t remember much of what was happening other than you being sat down in front of a well-lit mirror and letting yourself become a doll in the hands of the make-up artists. The one assigned to your hair did start a short conversation about your previous works, to which you could only thank her shyly for her support. While you weren’t the most popular actress out there, you were still relatively well-known, with notable works under your belt. Seven years of experience wasn’t something someone could just laugh at, after all.
On the other hand, your co-star was a famous A-lister who was most likely getting paid significantly more than you for his role in this film. You glanced a bit to your right, where Kim Seungmin was happily chatting with his hair and makeup assignees, his voice effortlessly traveling its way over to your spot.
Ever the social butterfly, that one.
“Are you excited?” The woman assigned to your hair, who you learned was named Eunha, asked. You looked at her, startled by the sudden topic change. “Sorry—it’s just that you kept looking over at Actor Kim that it came to mind. He is quite the looker, isn’t he?”
“Oh.”
How should you even respond to that? It wasn’t like you could just go around advertising your personal beef with the man when, as far as you knew, he had a clean record on his plate. That would just be a lawsuit waiting to happen. You’d have to settle for something vague instead. “I guess,” you cringe at the evident pain in your voice.
“I’ve heard from others in the industry that he’s a great guy. You’ll have a blast filming this movie with him. I know it’s a bit awkward right now, but I’m sure you’ll warm up to him soon. After all, you’re both the lead roles.”
You’ll surely have a blast, alright—straight to the ego.
This conversation just gave you the unfriendly reminder that you had to act all lovey-dovey with this man, and if anything, it was triggering some unpleasant memories. By memories, you meant the charity drama from your acting academy days.
Your experience with that project was interesting, to say the least.
It had all started with Seungmin winning the prize of being the drama’s male lead after getting the top spot on the year-end evaluation for the junior level. Along with his prize came the privilege to choose who he would be acting alongside, only to surprise everyone when he chose you, a trainee who barely got recognition and wasn’t even in the top ten of your level. At first, you felt honored. It was like you were finally getting acknowledged, and by the top performer, no less. So you worked hard to do your part properly, wanting to repay Seungmin for his act of kindness; only for that kindness to turn out to be a mockery of you.
The difference in skill between you two was just too wide. Your shortcomings showed far too much, and your mistakes ended up being emphasized to the point that your level advisor became endlessly frustrated with you. First, it was the scolding. The woman clearly did not appreciate you holding back the entire production, especially since it was for a cause, so she would point out every problem in your acting, which quickly took a turn after you showed barely any improvement. Eventually, your advisor started to berate you—going as far as constantly referring to you as the reason the drama would fail. When you tried to raise the concern with her that it was affecting you negatively, she only brushed you off with a comment about how you should know to take constructive criticism this early to succeed in the actual industry.
At eighteen years old, you could only clench your teeth and accept your fate.
Things only got worse when you overheard Seungmin talking to his friends near the vending machines after practice one day—the same day they were talking about you.
“Dude, why did you choose Y/N to be the female lead?” One of Seungmin’s friends, Yeonjun, groaned aloud. “She’s awful at it. What? Do you like her or something?”
Seungmin only shrugged. “Not really,” he said, uninterested. “I just kept seeing her name during level advancements but never saw her doing anything to stand out. If she got this far, then I should give her a chance, no?” Yeonjun pursed his lips at the answer.
“That’s just cruel, man. The witch has it out for her now.”
“Then she can just do better,” Seungmin chuckles, taking a sip from his soda before continuing. “Not my problem anymore. If I do my role well enough, maybe they’ll pay less attention to whatever she’s doing.”
Beomgyu, another friend of his, scoffed. “So, like—you’re basically using her to your advantage.” You watched Seungmin wave him off without a care.
“Stop making it sound so bad like that,” he hums at the thought. “Let’s just say I’m saving her the embarrassment. Like you said, it was my fault she’s getting thrown around like this anyway,” Seungmin continues before tossing his empty can of soda in the trash.
And wow, did you feel like one after hearing that.
Starting from that point onwards, you held a dislike for Kim Seungmin. It did, however, give you enough spite to use as a driving force to do well in the charity drama—eventually climbing up to senior level right beside Seungmin, where you two clashed for the higher ranks before graduating and starting your own careers.
Despite this, the memory of the junior project still stayed ingrained in you, never really managing to fade away like you wanted it to, causing you to struggle in your quest to succeed in the industry. The deprecating thoughts came at the worst times, making you revert back to that eighteen-year-old who kept her tears at bay as the director shouted at her for the nth time.
It was particularly the worst right now.
“Cut! Bad take!”
You snapped your head towards Director Han, who looked so frustrated that he started to resemble a certain someone from the ghosts of your memories. Kim Seungmin was in front of you, his tongue poking at his cheek after hearing the comment. Right, you were at the set—shooting a scene. And you had just failed to say your next line.
“Actress Y/N, you can’t just keep forgetting your lines like this!”
04 : FOUR.
You really can’t go on forgetting your lines like this.
“Y/N.” Changbin sighs heavily. “Seriously, what’s going on?”
It would have been amazing if the gods could hear your plea. Your wish was fairly simple, after all—to be buried six feet under at the moment. To hell with being a popular actress; you wanted nothing more than to disappear right now after that stunt you just pulled. On the first day of filming, no less.
Should you just go dig your own hole instead?
“It won’t happen again,” you softly replied, like a child getting scolded by their mother.
Your manager could only take a deep inhale at your words. “And I believe you, I really do,” he says. “But I can’t just let this go like this.”
Of course, he couldn’t. You would do the same thing in his shoes. Changbin was a manager for an actress—an actress who clearly can’t even manage herself. Your job’s core had a simple description, and that was to act out your lines. Lines that you had to memorize, internalize, and perform. What was the point of having seven years of experience under your belt if you couldn’t even do the basics of your occupation?
“You have to understand, Y/N. It wasn’t just once, or twice, or heck—not even thrice! You had a minimum of five retakes per couple of lines, and that’s already concerning enough for me to have to intervene. Director Han was really disappointed today, and it’s only the first filming. The only reason you’re still coming back on set tomorrow is because, at the end of the day, we managed to get good takes despite the issues. So pray tell, is something wrong?”
The humble inn’s room you were staying in became devoid of sound from your lack of response, making the cicadas outside seem a lot louder than they actually were. Your sitting figure made you look small in front of the man before you, who was pacing across the room in distressed strides. In all honesty, you had nothing to say back to Changbin. As much as you trusted him like your own older brother, explaining your oh-so-stellar performance earlier would entail having to reveal your past with Kim Seungmin, which was the last thing on the list of secrets you wanted to get out. Thus, there was only one solution to your dilemma.
“Can we replace Kim Seungmin?”
Changbin’s jaw slacked. “What—him again?” He laughed humorlessly, completely baffled at your request. “And replace, you say? Y/N, at the rate we’re going, you’re the one in danger of getting replaced!”
Okay, you should’ve expected that. But the sting from your manager’s comment wouldn’t hurt any less, even if you did.
You were well aware of all of your shortcomings as an actress. The seven years you gained in this industry clearly taught you a lot of important lessons, but those same seven years barely did anything to your ability, no matter the amount of effort you desperately poured into your career. It felt like a futile attempt at pouring into a cup that had a big hole at the bottom—knowing you could be filled to the brim with the necessary factors to succeed exponentially, yet still letting everything go down the drain.
Maybe this was the wake up call you needed to acknowledge that you’re the only one holding yourself back. And you had the slight inkling that you knew all along where this whole mess stemmed from.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what, even?” Changbin ran a hand through his already tousled hair. “Look, if you really don’t want to tell me, then fine. I’ll respect your wishes. But you can’t expect me to understand where you’re coming from if I know nothing. Deal with how overbearing I could be, or I don’t know, just keep that in mind.”
“I understand.” You meekly nodded. “Sorry, again. I’ll do better tomorrow.”
With your vague words, Changbin eventually came to the conclusion that you weren’t going to speak about the issue today. Walking towards you, he finally accepted your decision with a light pat on the head. “You don’t have to say that to me, Y/N. Maybe to the crew tomorrow. And Actor Kim Seungmin if you want. Just promise me a better performance tomorrow, and we’ll be good.”
You chuckled dryly. “Yes, I’ll do that.”
“Alright.” Your manager rolled his shoulders back, releasing the tension that built up from his pacing. “I’ll go to my own room now. Get some good rest. You need it after what happened today,” he chuckles.
“Okay, good night.”
You plastered a small smile for him, only letting it drop completely after you heard the door shut. After that, it was just you and your mind, ready to play the most depressing thoughts all through the night to beat you down once again. However, you weren’t going to fall for that today. You had already promised a better performance on filming tomorrow.
And what better ways were there to achieve both than practice until the sun rises?
Well, that surely did it’s work for you because you walked into the set the next day looking like a few years had just shaved off your lifespan. But as long as you could still function well enough to participate in the shoot, then you would consider your little sacrifice worth it.
A certain someone would beg to disagree, though.
Seungmin has never felt more concerned in his life. Just what in the world did you do all night to come out of your room looking like a literal zombie? To make matters worse, no one was even batting an eye at your less-than-ideal state! He watched you get your makeup done from across the tent with a thoughtful expression.
“Is it just me, or did Y/N get no sleep whatsoever?”
Minho cringed at Seungmin’s blunt comment. “Oh, you noticed it too?” He purses his lip, feeling uneasy. “I feel bad for her, but after the mishap from yesterday, I wouldn’t be surprised if she stayed up all night trying to make sure it doesn’t happen again. No sleep is better than no role in this industry, after all.”
Seungmin frowned at his manager’s words. That can’t be right. Sure, as actors, getting roles to play was their bread and butter—but no project was going to be worth more than their own well-being. If your condition was bad, then how were you expecting to have the proper mindset to act well? That should be simple logic.
He huffed. “I’m going to talk to her.”
Before he could even take a step forward, a strong force had already pulled him back. “Stop right there, Seungmin.” His manager gripped his shoulder in warning. “I know you mean well, but please do not do anything to agitate Actress Y/N any further.”
Seungmin turns back in disbelief. “What are you even talking about?”
“Aren’t you two close? I know how you joke around when you’re comfortable, and I’m just letting you know that this might not be the best time to do so.”
The actor narrowed his eyes at the implication being thrown his way. “You know, you’re making me out to be a major ass right now.” Minho shrugged.
“That’s because one wrong move, and you might as well be,” he sighs. “Look, all I’m saying is that what she probably needs right now is support. Someone who would give her motivation to get through the shoot today.”
Seungmin deadpanned at his manager’s sudden advice. He wasn’t expecting Minho, of all people, to lecture him about how to properly interact with others. “Exactly?” The younger of the two raises a brow. “What else do you think I was going to do?”
Minho looked hesitant for a second. “You and I both know that you’re not exactly the most—” he trails off, making random expressive movements with his hands instead. Seungmin scoffed.
“Spit it out.”
“—Motivating. You’re probably the least motivating person here.”
Seungmin visibly blanched at Minho’s admittance. Truth be told, he wasn’t expecting the older man to say anything particularly nice, but the actual reveal was just completely out of his radar.
Even when he was young, Seungmin never struggled with making friends. He’s always been well-liked by the people around him, which has made him fairly popular amongst his peers. With such a positive response from a lot of people regarding him as a person, Seungmin was clearly gifted in the art of making friends. So now, being told that he lacked the skill of uplifting others greatly confused him. If that were true, then shouldn’t he have had the opposite experience with socializing?
“I—” He stutters, caught off guard. “Do my social skills not prove to be enough for you?”
“Those are two completely separate things,” Minho barely managed to suppress a sneer. “Seungmin, you’re great at casual talk—that’s no surprise. But you also have the tendency to be dense. And that’s putting it lightly.”
“Oh.”
That would make sense. A part of him also admitted that his younger counterpart did struggle with connecting to others. Yes, he had a lot of friends, but that didn’t mean he saw all of them equally. As harsh as that may be, the old Seungmin had this unfathomable standard for people he could call friends, which he used as a strict criteria for judging others. He still kicks himself whenever he gets reminded of how big his high horse used to be, for no reason. Seungmin was more than willing to leave that time of his life at the back of his mind to collect dust. His life has been so much better without it, and he would do anything to maintain this satisfactory present he has carved for himself.
His manager chuckled. “Who knows, though? Maybe you could finally practice your empathy with this conversation. You’ve been around professional robots for far too long.”
“That sounds like an insult,” Seungmin says, expressing his doubt.
“I’m just saying it as it is.” Minho patted his back twice. “Now, I already warned you enough. If you still want to talk to Actress Y/N, then go ahead. Just know that whatever comes out of that mouth of yours is completely your responsibility, and I will not cover for you if you come out of this one with a broken friendship.”
Seungmin let the words sink in.
“There you go, all done!” Eunha exclaims, lightly pushing your hair forward to make the volume more noticeable. You gave her a thankful smile.
Eunha was someone you'd only known for two days, but she was already becoming your favorite person on set. The way she manages to lighten your mood every time made her worthy of being on the list of people you greatly appreciated, especially with how things were going for you recently. Today too, her positivity was very welcomed.
“Thank you,” you say while admiring her work. “It looks pretty today too.”
The hairstylist beamed. “Of course it should be,” she huffs in pride. “You need to be the prettiest one here on set. After all, you’re the female lead!”
You knew she didn’t mean it to be, but her words felt like little stabs to your heart. The prickly ache spread slowly, like poison that was meant to be discrete. You chuckled to offset the pain.
“Right.”
Female lead. The character you worked so hard for—only for you to also ruin the chance with your own hands. You couldn’t help but think of how ungrateful you were being, and for what? A personal grudge towards your co-star, who was being more professional about the situation than you ever tried to be? It was almost laughable how belatedly you realized that the situation was never going to be in your favor. You weren’t someone looking to be pitied, so why were you hypocritically trying to paint yourself as the distressed damsel?
Eunha sent you a troubled glance as she fixed the tools on the table. “Are you alright? I—” She sighed. “I didn’t want to point it out earlier, but I guess my concern got the best of me. The bags under your eyes looked deep earlier—Yerin did a great job covering them up, though! You don’t worry about how you’ll look on camera, but I’m just worried about your condition.”
You sheepishly scratched your arm at being pointed out. “Sorry for worrying you. I just forgot the time last night and fell asleep late. You could say I was too excited to shoot again today.”
“Well, that’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one.”
You jumped in your chair, startled by Seungmin’s voice suddenly joining the space on your side of the tent. Eunha’s eyes gave you a silent apology before bowing to Seungmin and heading out of the tent, indicating that her task was finished. Your gaze fluttered toward your co-star, who was looking at you in a disapproving manner. It was then that you remembered his comment.
“And that was rude of you to disrupt a conversation that had nothing to do with you.”
Seungmin wasn’t fazed by your bite. “Why didn’t you sleep?”
“I asked a question first, Kim.” You crossed your arms at being ignored. “Also, I did sleep.”
"No, you didn’t,” he pressed on. You could feel your blood pressure rise at his insistence. “Even a twenty-minute nap could do wonders. You just look horrible.” You scoffed at the insult.
“Gee, thanks. Exactly what I needed to hear.”
Seungmin’s eyes widened comically, and you almost laughed at the sight. Almost. He looked so guilty of what he had just said that you felt the urge to tease him as revenge.
“Wait, no—”
“An explanation isn’t necessary,” you hummed. “Even if that wasn’t a joke, I could really care less right now.”
Your reply made Seungmin flail his hands around like a madman. “It was a joke. I didn’t mean anything about it,” he coughs out before composing himself after realizing how silly he was acting. “Sorry.”
“Ok. Thank you for apologizing.”
“Sure,” he trailed off. Seungmin was now unsure of what to even do.
Oddly enough, your heart warmed at his reaction. A part of you was thanking yourself for finally becoming more rational, as you thought that maybe he wasn’t so bad. Sure, your past together was still rocky territory, but you had to remind yourself that time had also passed. Seven years at that. That detail took you back to the conversation you two had back at the table reading. You remember the way you hissed at him that you had changed—what made you assume that he couldn’t do it too? Everyone was allowed to become better versions of themselves, and Kim Seungmin wasn’t exempted from that. He was but another person living amongst others in this world, after all.
Changbin was right. Seungmin also deserved an apology.
“I guess I also owe you an apology,” you say softly. “About how I’ve been towards you the whole time—it was immature of me. I hope we can continue to work well until the end of this project, like you said yesterday.”
“Now, this is just odd.”
Seungmin was now utterly lost. He recalls approaching you despite Minho’s warnings, deciding that he had enough self-restraint to not screw it up—only to end up insulting you without meaning to. But that wasn’t the confusing part.
It was your reaction.
In Seungmin’s experience, you weren’t one to let something go like that. Even back when you both were in your senior level days at the academy, a simple jest from him would set you off into flames. The you he knew would immediately choose to chew him out, hoping that he would get burned by a rogue ember of your fury for even just attempting to speak such words. But the person in front of him right now did none of that. The you in the present simply took the accidental insult and even apologized for the ones you’ve spat out over the previous days. It was a whiplash, to say the least—just yesterday he was still fighting to keep you in a flowing conversation. So, what was this he was witnessing?
“Is it?” You snicker. “Just think of it like winning. You were right. This is a high-profile project, and I’m over here messing around. I’ve prepared a better performance for you all to see today, so be rest assured.” Seungmin still wasn’t assured.
“Y/N, are you sure you’re alright—”
“Main characters on set!”
Damn. So that’s how it feels for your conversation to get interrupted by someone unrelated to it. Seungmin internally acknowledged your annoyance earlier and kicked the memory of himself from a few minutes earlier.
You turned back to him, tilting your head. “What was that?” Seungmin refused to admit that he found the action cute.
“No, it’s nothing,” he said, clearing his throat. “Let’s have a good shoot.”
05 : FIVE.
Okay, you do not think this was turning out to be a good shoot.
You were already regretting pulling another all-nighter the day after you got absolutely no sleep. This meant that you were already nearing 48 hours of no sleep, to which you were surprised you were still even capable of functioning. You had never gone this long without sleep, and it was both thrilling and terrifying to you at the same time.
Honestly, you were already expecting to feel lethargic after the shoot yesterday, especially after staying up the entire night to master your parts and was planning to go to sleep early to make up for it. However, after getting nothing but praise from the directors and filming crew the whole day for your stellar performance that day, you came to the conclusion that perhaps your sacrificial act was exceptionally effective. A little too effective since your manager even said that your acting became much more alive than the takes you did the previous day, despite feeling the complete opposite internally.
Now, while you normally wouldn’t describe yourself as someone who was peer pressured easily, it still felt really nice for your hard work to be acknowledged after the disappointing performance you had the day before. Which also led you to your current predicament—woefully repeating the same magical process that helped you gain your reputation back.
“You’re yawning an awful lot.” Seungmin raised a brow in question. “Don’t tell me that all the praise you got yesterday already got to your head, and you suddenly find all this boring.”
An irked look made its way onto your face, pinching hard on Seungmin’s arm. You watched in satisfaction as he yelped audibly at your damage, jerking away in reflex. “What the fuck, woman?”
“It’s what you get,” you say nonchalantly while shrugging. Seungmin scoffs at the response.
“Just because we have a truce now doesn’t mean you can abuse me whenever you like,” he snarls. “What happened to the Y/N who didn’t want me to talk to her unless, quote on quote, necessary?”
You cringe at the unwelcome reminder of your previous activities. “I apologized! Would you rather have me act like a total bitch again?”
“Well—no. That Y/N was a pain to deal with.”
“Then be grateful for what you have right now.”
Seungmin lets out an amused snort, crossing his arms and leaning backwards closer towards the living room’s walls, where you two were on standby. “Oh, believe me. I’m more than grateful.”
The set right now was in a cozy cottage house, designed to imitate what the female lead’s family home would look like. You had already moved past the beginnings of the main characters’ romance yesterday and were now heading into the development stage, where they spend more time together until they realize their feelings. A domestic scene in one character’s home was a popular trope—which was, of course, also included in the movie.
If today’s shoot goes well, then you only have one day left in the filming process before everyone packs up to head back to the city. Not for Seungmin, though. The male lead still had to film the first part of the movie where he quit his job at the company. You’d have to laugh at him about it on the last day.
First, you had to get through this shoot without fainting flat on your face.
It was a particularly hot day too, which made your drowsiness even worse. The rural countryside cottage didn’t have an air conditioner set up, so you had to make do with fans all over the place. But that barely did anything to cool you down, as the air around the place itself was humid. At least you weren’t shooting out in the sun today.
“Geez, my makeup might melt even before we start filming,” you groan. “That’s if my head doesn’t explode first.”
Seungmin chuckles. “Blame your character for being a sweater enthusiast. That outfit must be torture in this weather.”
He wasn’t wrong about that. The thick baby blue cardigan you were wearing felt like a punishment to wear at the moment. It was unfortunate that you felt really cute in this get-up because you wanted to trash on it so badly.
Actually, fuck it. Comfort matters more.
“I don’t understand how she does it,” you whine dramatically. “Every scene she’s had has her wearing some kind of version of a sweater. Does she not get hot at all?” You pull on your slightly weighted cardigan.
“I do think she’s plenty hot enough.” Seungmin smirks, glancing at you while waiting for your reaction.
You hummed in agreement. “She’s probably just tolerating it since it's her clothing style. I’ve had my fair share of those moments too.”
It wasn’t something you could see since you were more preoccupied with watching the staff prepare for filming, but Seungmin’s ears were slowly turning red. He took note of how his less than savory joke completely flew over your head, now leaving him to drown in the embarrassment of his original intentions.
Internally, he was already having a boxing match with himself. He thinks she’s plenty hot enough? What does that even mean? You were the only image he had of the female lead since you had her role! Seungmin wanted the ground to suddenly swallow him whole at the implication.
You, on the other hand, were fighting a completely different battle. The combination of the heat and your severe lack of sleep was becoming dangerous. You could already feel a growing pounding in your head, the world’s noise becoming more muffled by the second. It seemed like your vision wasn’t affected yet, though—and for that, you were relieved. That meant you could still stretch yourself out until the shoot was finished. You’d already done this once yesterday, so a second time wouldn’t be that bad, right?
Wrong.
Seungmin’s voice as he carried out his lines in the scene seemed so far away to you already, and it had only been an hour since the cameras started rolling. Internally, you were already sounding the sirens. Something was definitely wrong—you don’t think Seungmin was supposed to sound like he was underwater.
Your co-star seemed to notice that you were out of it too, except he couldn’t exactly stop the scene as you were still conducting your parts as proficiently as you could. Director Han hasn’t called a cut yet, either. So, he settled on carefully watching you for signs. You also thought you could last until the scene was over—until you couldn’t.
The last thing you remember was a figure rushing over to you before your sight went pitch black.
“Y/N!”
“Cut!”
Seungmin felt his heart race as he dashed over to catch you from crashing to the ground. What was going on? You were completely fine a while ago. How did you end up fainting? Could it have been the heat? He didn’t think it was going to be that bad for you since he was dealing with it pretty well. The heat wasn’t exactly unbearable. So what was it?
“Actor Kim Seungmin,” D.O.P. Bang called out. “We should take her to the medic tent. Someone, call her manager.”
Seungmin had never agreed more to a suggestion in his life.
“Seungmin? What’s—” Minho’s face paled in shock at the sight of your limp figure. “Oh, shit. That’s why everyone is running around like headless chickens. Quick, let’s get her to the medics.”
Minho sped over to give the actor a helping hand on steadying you, only to be stopped. “We’re wasting so much time.” Seungmin clicks his tongue.
Everyone could only watch as Seungmin positioned his arms on your back and behind your knees, hastily pulling you up towards him in a bridal carry and speeding away to the medic’s tent. Minho’s jaw dropped at his talent’s actions before recovering from the shock and tailing him.
“Seungmin!”
“What?” Seungmin responds half-heartedly as he sets you down on the cushioned stretcher, stepping back as the medics do their job.
“You—” Minho squeaks out. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“That!” He gestured towards you, still unconscious and being checked on by the medics on standby. “Did you just carry Actress Y/N?”
Seungmin ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “And what about it? Did I commit a crime or something? I was just helping!”
Minho was conflicted. In all the years he had been working as Seungmin’s manager, the actor had never shown this much attention towards his other co-workers, despite maintaining an approachable and friendly image. Of course, that wasn’t particularly a bad thing—especially in an industry where caution towards everyone around you was basic common sense to prevent yourself from going down a road that would lead to your demise. The view was great up where it was high, but the fall was just as immense.
What Minho did acknowledge was your past with Seungmin. Because of that, he was inclined to think more about your friendship with his talent and how that played into your dynamic. Yet, over the course of the two days you two had been filming, he hasn’t exactly seen the kind of relationship he was expecting. There were discrepancies in what he knew about you and Seungmin, as well as gaps in the bond his actor painted a picture of. In times like these, there were only a few reasonable explanations that Minho could think of, which made him uneasy.
Something big was coming in the future—one that he needed to prepare for as early as now.
Hurried footsteps could be heard nearing the tent as Seungmin and Minho diverted their lines of sight towards the entrance, just in time to see a fairly muscular figure come in all frantic. “How is she?”
Minho immediately recognized the man from a conversation he had in the personal staff area, recalling his introduction as your manager. The former bowed slightly in greeting. “Manager Seo Changbin.” Seungmin felt his blood boil after seeing your manager’s late entrance.
“Where even were you?” He asked coldly, intentionally making his tone sharp. “You know, for her manager, you sure are practically nowhere to be found during shoots.”
Changbin splutters at the accusation. “Y/N doesn’t like it when I stay to watch! She says it’s pressuring!”
“Sure. But it’s your job to be on standby in the event that she needs you. How come you weren’t?”
“I—”
“Okay, that’s enough.” A new face entered the space, who Seungmin quickly made out to be Assistant Director Lee. The second-in-hand gave him a disapproving look. “Actor Kim Seungmin, please stop lashing out at Actress Y/N’s manager.”
Seungmin felt like he was seconds away from committing arson. “I’m not lashing out if it's a reasonable argument!”
He felt someone grab a hold of him, forcefully pushing him down to sit. It was only then that Seungmin seemed to finally be conscious of how emotionally he had been acting—accepting Minho’s foresight on his actions. Assistant Director Lee, on the other hand, did not appreciate his recklessness.
“That it is, but we’re going to need you to stay calm,” he states. “The situation is sensitive enough as it is.”
Seungmin felt like he had no choice but to agree. He couldn’t risk making an unreasonable scene in such a respected project set, and knowing you, a tension-filled tent wasn’t going to be your preferred area of rest. Glancing back at your unconscious figure still being tended to, he let out a sigh to release the extra pressure in his chest.
Just what was he doing right now?
Once Assistant Director Lee saw him calm down a significant amount, he clapped to disperse the heavy silence. “Great. Now, can someone inform us when she wakes up so we can restart the shoot?”
So much for calming down, because Seungmin’s temper flared up again in an instant. “Are you kidding me?” He growled. “No, we are not proceeding with filming today!”
“Actor Kim, we don’t have enough time—”
“I’ll pay for all the expenses for the extension and rescheduling of all the remaining shoots. Put all of it under my personal bank account.”
Minho’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets in shock. “Seungmin, what—”
“I said what I said,” Seungmin continued. “Now go do it. Both of us won’t step in front of the camera for the rest of the day.”
“You can’t just decide that for Actress Y/N,” Assistant Director Lee reasoned in disbelief.
Unluckily for him, Seungmin had already made up his mind—and when that happens, he isn’t one to give up on it.
“Then we’ll tell her it’s cancelled because I’m sure as hell won’t be filming today. You can’t make her act out the scenes prepared today without me.”
Assistant Director Lee was conflicted. Taking a day off so suddenly when they’d already had everything set up was going to be such a waste—and frankly, Director Han was already on edge about it. Granted, this wasn’t the first time he’d come across this situation, and certainly won’t be the last in his time in the industry. Now, an actor telling them that they’d pay for the cost of their demand? That one was new.
Kim Seungmin was notorious in the field for being a perfectionist, so he honestly came in here expecting him to agree with their plan. Maybe he should’ve considered the rumors he’d heard around the set that Actor Kim and you were closer than they initially thought. With that, Assistant Director Lee could only sigh. He’d just have to deal with Director Han’s displeasure.
Along with being a perfectionist, Kim Seungmin was also incredibly stubborn.
“I understand,” he concedes. “I’ll inform Director Han.”
Seungmin tried not to show his surprise on his face. He didn’t think he’d actually get this result so easily, but it was welcomed. “Thank you.”
“Let us know if you change your mind.”
“I won’t.”
Assistant Director Lee chuckled at Seungmin’s firm reply before announcing his leave. The atmosphere in the tent improved as he stepped out, but awkwardness still lingered in the air. Minho dropped down to slump on a plastic chair, leaving Changbin to stand stiffly near him.
“Y/N is totally gonna kill you, dude.” Minho groans, completely letting go of formalities in stress.
Seungmin had half the mind to be embarrassed by his choices. “And to think I’m doing this all for her sake,” he scoffs good-naturedly before turning to your manager. “Did something happen before the shoot? She couldn’t have passed out like this just because of the heat today.”
Changbin scratches at his neck. “Uh, I’m not sure—”
“—It’s exhaustion,” one of the medics spoke up. “Her body seems to be completely fatigued, as well as slightly dehydrated, but that must be the heat’s contribution. Has she not been getting enough rest?”
They watched as Changbin’s face morphed into shock, completely unsure of how that could’ve even happened. “But she said she was going to bed early yesterday!”
Your manager was slowly getting on Seungmin’s nerves. First, it was his constant absence from the set. Next, it was his blatant disregard for your well-being. The last time he checked, a manager was supposed to be aware of their talent’s condition as much as possible. Any less and it would be neglect.
He narrowed his eyes. “The picture you’re painting for me is not a good one, Manager Seo.”
“What are you implying right now, Actor Kim?” Changbin pounced back, Seungmin’s tone stirring negative emotions inside him.
Seungmin refused to back down. “You know damn well.”
“Kim Seungmin!”
“Watch your mouth—”
A rustling noise interrupted the three men’s small disagreement. “Ugh,” you groaned in pain. “What in the world?”
“Y/N!” Seungmin jumps up without a second thought to rush over. In the distance, Minho and Changbin’s eyes meet in mutual speculation.
“Seungmin, sorry, but please shut up.” You raise a hand to cradle your head. “My head is pounding.”
You could vaguely make up a medic handing Seungmin some pills and a bottle of water, saying something about how you were stable enough to just need rest and hydration. The next thing you knew was feeling a hand gently take your chin to create an opening and a pill being dropped inside, along with a water bottle pressing against your lips. You gulped it down in shock.
“The fuck—” You coughed. Another hand came up again to wipe some of the water you spilled around your mouth before you pushed it away. “Kim Seungmin!”
Your co-star rolled his eyes at your dramatics. “Would it kill you to stop being so fussy?”
“Not when you’re treating me like a child!”
Changbin clears his throat, effectively stopping your bickering. “Uh—I’m going to go get us lunch,” he meekly informs you two. “The medics also already went out to get food earlier, so I think we need to get our share before it’s all gone.”
Minho nods at Changbin’s words a bit too enthusiastically for your liking. “I’ll come with him. You two can talk while waiting.”
The two of you watch as your managers dash out of the tent like cartoon characters, raising a suspicious brow at their sudden change in behavior. Seungmin clicked his tongue in annoyance before turning back to you and flicking a finger at your forehead without warning. You squealed at the added pain as Seungmin’s suppressed laughter filled the room.
“You are such an asshole!” You shriek while bringing both hands to shield your forehead belatedly.
“And your hair looks like a nest,” he replies with a snicker.
You gave him a glare at his comment, rubbing the sore spot gently. “Shit,” you whined, feeling the ache from inside your head again. “I can’t believe I fainted. How long was I out? What about the shoot? Are we resuming after lunch?”
The questions you were asking him only served as Seungmin’s reminder of his actions earlier, causing his mouth to run dry. Truth be told, even he was unsure of how to tell you everything that happened while you were away in dreamland. He couldn’t just drop the ball at you that he made sure that the shoot had been cancelled just for you to have the rest of the day to rest up. At the same time, there was practically no other way to convince you that the cancellation wasn’t your fault unless he told you the truth.
But Seungmin had already caused you enough misunderstandings to last a decade—and he wasn’t about to add another one.
“You weren’t out for long,” he told you. “I’m actually surprised you even woke up right away. The shoot’s cancelled.”
He watched you pause to let the words sink in. What did he mean by the shoot’s been cancelled? Wouldn’t that be too costly? After all, you were literally renting a place far away from the city to shoot this movie. A shoot cancellation meant an extension, which also meant new arrangements needed to be made. You curled up into a ball, wanting to evaporate into the clouds at the heat of the sun. How much more were you going to screw up everyone’s experience with this project?
“Is it because of me?” You muttered.
Seungmin felt something inside him break at how small you made yourself seem. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid, only to once again fail to prevent it. That one was on him, though—he didn’t manage to tell you right away that he was the one responsible for the shoot’s cancellation. He felt the need to chase away your negative headspace as fast as possible.
“Why do you always blame yourself first? I cancelled the shoot, so just get some more rest.” He sighs.
Your eyes snap upwards to meet his. He had got to joking. “What?” You ask, bewildered at the statement. “And they agreed? I can still continue!”
Seungmin immediately acts to lift your legs back up on the stretcher when he sees you trying to get up. He places a heavy hand on your calves to lock them in place before sending you an unamused stare. “Land a single foot out of this stretcher, and I’ll make sure the shoot gets moved to next week.”
“You can’t just do that!” Your mouth gaped open like a fish. “Do you even know how bad the cost is going to be to extend for that long?”
“I’m more than capable of shouldering the expenses.”
That single statement made your stomach drop. “You cannot be serious,” was your horrified reaction. “Seungmin, did you pay for the extension costs?”
The man before you only shrugged, like he hadn’t just dropped significant information. “What about it?” You blanched at his unconcerned attitude.
“What do you mean, what about it?” You asked, absolutely outraged. “I swear, you’ve always been like this! You think you could just play around with everything around you, since you can. Why can’t you take things seriously for once?”
It was Seungmin’s turn to look offended. “Now, when did I ever do that?”
“The charity drama!” You cry out. “Yeah, I knew all about your little plan back then. If you acted well enough, they wouldn’t pay attention to whatever mess I was making, was it? I even overheard you telling your friends you chose me to become the female lead just because you were curious about how I kept advancing levels when I barely met the standard—and there I was foolish enough to believe that you chose me for my skills!”
“I—” Seungmin stammers. “I don’t remember that.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” you held back a sob, feeling emotional as you poured out your inner insecurities. “Why would you? Someone of your caliber could go around bending things to your will, and no one would bat an eye since they would justify it with your talent. I’m the complete opposite, Seungmin.”
Seungmin was quite alarmed, to say the least. These were your side of the story—the side that he never got to acknowledge. He could only watch you try to keep yourself together in front of him, clearly struggling as your emotions ran wild at the release of what seemed to be years of suppressed experiences. His body was screaming at him to move and comfort you in any way he knew how, but for the first time in his life, Seungmin was completely frozen in guilt.
“I’ve lived the life below people like you. We were the ones that were always stuck in the shadows, where stepping on us became the norm. People like us were the pieces in your games of chess who couldn’t even speak out in the fear of being thrown out.” You inhaled deeply before meeting his gaze. “It was a life you would never even begin to imagine experiencing at your ability, Seungmin.”
Your words were like spears thrown at Seungmin’s heart. They all rang true in his head. He would never understand what you went through because he was part of the problem. Seungmin thought back to his past, trying to recall where it all started.
He was a young child, only ten years old, when he discovered his passion for acting. His class decided to do a play for the school festival, and he got the role of the main character completely by chance through drawing lots. Young Seungmin didn’t think of it too much and agreed out of obligation. It wasn’t until practices started that he started to take an interest in it after receiving constant praise from his classmates and homeroom teacher. This fascination only bloomed more on the day of the festival, where he found out that performing for people could be this exhilarating.
From then on, Seungmin made it his lifelong dream to become an actor. Seeing his talent in the field, his parents supported him wholeheartedly, eventually leading to them suggesting he join an acting academy to improve. The praises didn’t stop even after he joined the academy—in fact, they only doubled in frequency, making Seungmin come to the conclusion that he must’ve been some sort of prodigy. Perhaps it was due to that mindset of his that he paraded around like the world was his. To his defense, none of the adults around him saw the wrong in his behavior and even went as far as encouraging it.
It was when he graduated from the academy and started his work as a professional actor that he got humbled by all the talent around him. Everyone seemed to be on his level or greater, which completely shattered his worldview. During those times in his rookie years, he learned the importance of hard work and how much it could really make a difference. There was one time that he thought to himself—maybe this was the reason he felt so attracted to you.
You were the first person he ever associated with the difference that hard work brought. Seungmin first noticed you on the first day of intermediate level. He had gotten to that level first and thus kept an eye out for notable candidates from the beginner level. The thing is, he had never even heard of you or any of your performances—so it was a complete surprise to see you climb up to intermediate level. From then on, he observed you from afar, never really approaching. To him, you seemed plain; someone who didn’t even exude star quality. So eventually, he forgot all about you again.
Until he saw your name on the same paper as his, indicating that both of you would be in the same batch that got promoted to junior level.
The charity drama was another project Seungmin gained an unexpected opportunity from. With the privilege given to him as the top ranker for the year-end evaluations, he chose you as his female lead. All Seungmin wanted was to see what kind of shine you had as an actor, and he was rewarded greatly with your stellar performance after days of painful practices. When you were once again bumped up to senior level right alongside him, he was ecstatic. You had changed since the charity drama, and your aura started to take up more space in their small practice room. Seungmin wanted to get closer to you, but the two of you would only end up clashing every time. He guesses that you and him were just complete opposites in everything, down to your work ethic. He still tried to interact with you in any way he knew how, though—which led to his friends teasing him about his little crush on you.
Now, he couldn’t help but think that maybe they were right.
Seungmin pulled his hand away from your calves, letting his hands fall down on his sides before bowing deeply. “I’m sorry. There would be no excuse for my actions, and it’s even worse that I have no recollection of the details when I’ve obviously affected someone. I know an apology wouldn’t erase everything that has already happened, but it would be the start of my attempts to make sure it doesn’t happen again. At this point, all I can ask for is your forgiveness.”
You quickly reached out to grasp his arms, trying to pull him up from his act of remorse. “Get up—oh my god. It’s fine, Seungmin. Really. I’ve already forgiven you yesterday, honestly. My behavior also had some faults towards you, and it was unacceptable.”
“Knowing why now, I think it was more than reasonable.”
You let out a laugh at his words. “You’re just trying to make me feel better,” you teased. “Now, I think the other crew members also deserve an apology from us.” Seungmin’s face paled at the reminder. Just imagining Assistant Director Lee scolding him for his audacity earlier was sending him into early retirement.
“Yeah,” he coughs. “But can we not take back the shoot cancellation? It would be so awkward for me if we did, and you still need the rest.”
“Fine, you big baby.” You pinched his cheek after seeing his childish pout. Seungmin was quick to swat your hand away, despite the burning sensation he could feel heating up his ears. “So does this mean we’re friends?”
Even if he could feel a crack form in his heart from your innocent words, Seungmin refused to show it.
“Sure. Friends.”
06 : SIX.
Being friends with Seungmin was odd.
Granted, you already got a taste of what that felt like for the two days that flew by since you two decided on a truce. However, you didn’t really feel much of a change in your dynamic in those two days—not until things took a turn after your conversation in the medic tent.
After your little heart-to-heart session, Seungmin had begun acting strangely. And by strangely, you meant becoming a complete one-eighty from the Kim Seungmin you were used to. It was almost like he was replaced by a softer, more warm-hearted version of himself. In one talk, you were suddenly subject to his endless affection, albeit still exhibiting the Kim Seungmin flare that you were comfortable with. Overall, it was just weird to think that four days ago, the two of you were fighting like cats and dogs. Now, you watched him bounce up and down as he gave himself a pep talk to prepare for the kissing scene.
“Are you that nervous?”
Seungmin flinches at your question, seemingly not expecting your voice to enter his head while he was seconds away from a meltdown. Your co-star looks at you sheepishly. “Is that bad? This is driving me insane.”
That was another thing different about Seungmin after the medic tent incident. He acted a lot more endearingly in your eyes. You faintly recall a comment you made a few days ago about how Seungmin would never be akin to a small bird who deserved to be doted on. But seeing the Seungmin in front of you right now, you might just take back your words.
Kim Seungmin had a lot more layers than you thought—and you found yourself wanting to uncover them all.
“I’m sure this isn’t your first kiss on camera,” you snort. “Just go do it like you usually do. Act like how your character would act in the moment. You have my whole consent, anyway.”
Seungmin wanted to tell you how much you didn’t understand his dilemma right now. In all fairness, even he was somewhat unsure of what was happening to him the past few days. All he did know was that he was right in what he thought during the first day of filming—he really did feel like he was turning younger in front of you.
It was almost embarrassing how easily he slipped into that carefree attitude around you, especially after your conversation in the medic tent. He was doing so well up until then, so what happened? Seungmin couldn’t be more curious about his own actions. He did have an inkling of what it was, but he needed more proof to act on it. Seungmin couldn’t risk becoming more of an idiot in your eyes. You already had too much of that experience with him during your filming yesterday, which was the rescheduled shoot of the one he demanded to pause.
That also meant that this was the last day you two had on set together before everyone packed their bags and headed back to the city. After that, it would be just him again on set to film the movie’s first scenes of his character.
Seungmin wasn’t disappointed. He totally wasn’t.
“What are you going to do if I lose control and give into my character, huh?” He argues. You stopped reading your script to give him an unamused stare.
“Seriously?” You scoffed. “If you really must know, then I wouldn’t do anything. If that’s what the male lead feels, then the female lead just needs to reciprocate if they’re really in love with each other. As their actors, we need to deliver those same emotions.”
You didn’t get what was making Seungmin so on edge about the scene. Reviewing his past works, this certainly wouldn’t be his first on-screen kiss, nor was it his first romance project as the male lead. What made you so different from his other co-stars that was making him act like a rookie?
“If anything, I should be more nervous than you. This is actually my first kiss scene!”
“That’s just even worse!” Seungmin whines, burying his face in his hands. “This is gonna be terrible.”
It was then that you finally had an idea as to why Seungmin looked like he was having a mid-life crisis this early in his life.
You felt a grin creep up on your face and paste itself there. “Did you want this to be a good memory for me?”
Seungmin groans at your poking. “Stop teasing me! So what if I do? Did I commit a crime, huh?”
“The crime of stealing my heart, yes.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“Thank you,” you laugh. “I try my best.”
Seungmin mutters something beneath his breath—something you couldn’t hear because of Director Han calling for the two of you. He watched as you skipped away, leaving him to follow in your footsteps. Seungmin smiled at the picture painted in front of him.
“I know.”
You stopped at your designated place in front of the camera, turning back to look at Seungmin beside you, who was already sweating bullets. Your hand unconsciously lifts up to wipe them off, which startles the both of you. Seungmin opens his mouth to say something but was cut off by Director Han’s loud voice.
“Alright!” He claps. “This is our last scene for the day before we call it a wrap! I’m sure you two already know what it is, so all I’ll say is don't think too much about this. Enjoy it, or whatever you want to do—as long as it looks natural. Sounds good?” The two of you nod at him.
“Okay, camera starts at three,” he says, motioning towards D.O.P. Bang. “Two, one. Action!”
You took the opportunity to appreciate the scenery around you as the camera started rolling. The scene was set on a hill with a breathtaking view of the rest of the town. Hues of orange and pink start to tint the surroundings as the sun sets in the background. It was nothing less than ethereal, and you almost envied the female lead for having this moment in her life.
“I’ve always wanted to take someone here,” Seungmin says, reciting his lines. “When I was younger, I told myself that I was going to bring my true love here and propose. It was unfortunate that I moved away—this was my favorite spot in the whole world.”
You let yourself completely immerse in the situation. “Propose, huh? I’m sure the lucky person would love it up here. It’s so serene, like it's taking away all your stress just by being here.”
Seungmin gently grabs your hand into his, making you turn to meet his eyes. You almost gasped out of character after seeing the immense amount of love swirling in his gaze. Love looked great on him, you pointed out in your head. One day, Seungmin was going to look at someone else with the same gaze—someone that he loved with all his heart. A tinge of hot green jealousy burned in your stomach at the thought.
Part of you yearned for someone to look at you even just a fourth of the way Seungmin portrayed the male lead’s longing for the female lead. But for now, you had a role to fulfill. You could just lock these feelings up for later.
“Do you?” He asks. Your breath hitches at his question. “I’m not proposing—well, not yet. But I brought you here for a similar reason.”
Seungmin reaches for your other hand, now holding both of them. “I love you so much. I know our time together hasn’t been the longest, but it seems like my heart has found its way back home. Honestly, I first thought that it was just because I was back in town, but eventually I realized that I felt at home with you too.” He caresses your knuckles with his thumbs. “Maybe my heart knew where it belonged long before I did. I loved you back then, just like I love you now.”
You couldn’t help but genuinely tear up at Seungmin’s monologue. It was such a beautiful feeling to be loved, and you hoped that someday you could experience the same kind of love you acted with. “So, I’ll ask you this question,” Seungmin continued.
“Will you be mine?”
“Yes,” you sobbed out.
Seungmin lifts his hands to cup your crying face, bringing you closer to his own. The moment your lips connected felt so magical that you ended up leaning in more, savoring the moment with your fluttering heart. Seungmin reciprocates the act, kissing you with more emotion than he did just a second ago. His lips felt like smooth pillows, coaxing you to release all the tension you had left and rest—with him. Seungmin was being careful yet passionate at the same time, leaving you to drown in the sheer magnitude of the butterflies.
You couldn’t help but love every passing second that you were lost on his lips.
When you two pulled away due to the lack of air, he kept his forehead to yours, noses touching. The soft sound of both your laughter filled the surrounding area.
“Cut! That’s a wrap for today!” You hear everyone start cheering at Director Han’s words. Seungmin chuckles at them as he slowly steps back, missing the way your body followed after his warmth.
“Congratulations,” he says gently. You felt your heart skip a beat. “Your first on-screen kiss, done. How did I do?”
Oh, this was going to be dangerous for your heart.
07 : SEVEN.
There’s been an empty feeling in your heart since yesterday that you were trying to ignore.
It was currently the day after you returned to the city. You watched the bustling streets of urban life filter through the car’s tinted windows while Changbin continued to drive you back home after a busy day in the company. Something you had never expected to happen was getting attached to the small countryside town you filmed in enough to miss it like this.
You felt it when you stepped out of the car yesterday to head back to your apartment—the polished concrete floors of the parking building suddenly felt foreign to you. The abundance of luxury cars was evident in the space, reminding you that you were once again in the city. It felt almost cold and lonely with the way you couldn’t see the hills you got used to seeing all day long. But it would do, you think to yourself.
The city could also be warm if you wanted it to be.
“Oh? I think they’re filming the first scenes of the movie in a building around here,” Changbin pointed out from the driver’s seat. “Minho mentioned this street a day ago.”
You raised a brow at his words. “Since when did you and Seungmin’s manager get so close?”
“Ever since you and his talent did,” Changbin snickers.
Heat rose to your face at your manager’s teasing. It was no secret to anyone who witnessed the movie’s shoot that you and Seungmin got extremely close after the fainting incident. You were sure that his efforts to stop the filming from continuing that day was also the talk of the town with the crew members. After all, who would go so far as to pay for rescheduling costs for their co-star? Sure, you and Seungmin were friends, but the two of you were barely talking in the first few days of the project. Anyone in their right mind would find his actions out of the blue—just like you did too.
Maybe it was just Seungmin’s way of making up for all the things you both went through. At first, it made you mad at how he flaunted his blatant disregard for the people affected by his decisions. The image of younger Seungmin came to mind, triggering the part of you that still held a slight resentment for what he did before. However, you found yourself slowly changing your mind as you two apologized to the crew members for the sudden decision, promising them swift and quality scenes the next day. As Seungmin walked you back to your inn’s room, you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of happiness bubble in your stomach at the thought of someone caring enough to do this for you.
You watched as the evident signs of a film crew appeared in the distance, right in front of an office building. The same tents you’ve come to familiarize yourself with stood strong, indicating that this was indeed filming the same movie you were working on. It was already early in the evening, so they should be wrapping up any time soon. Should you stop by and say hello?
“Do you want to stop by and visit? You don’t have any schedules left for the rest of the evening,” Changbin suggests, getting ready to park near the building if you give confirmation.
Maybe you could repay Seungmin for his support over the past few days by visiting him. You smile at the thought of catching him off-guard.
“Sure, why not?”
The summer air of June was starting to make itself present despite already cooling significantly due to the sun saying its goodbyes an hour or two ago. Bright lights scattered across the vast street, a mixture of car lights, building lights, and streetlights morphing into the familiar image of a city that everyone knew. You walked towards the set peacefully, effectively going under the radar with a black mask covering your face. It was just a few steps more until you reached the barricade, when a familiar voice called out your name.
“Y/N?” Eunha squinted her eyes to determine if it really was you, only for you to watch them widen in surprise when her conclusion was proven correct. “Oh, it is you!”
You waved as you got closer. “Hi, Eunha. I saw you guys while passing by and thought I’d give you a visit,” you say shyly. Eunha beamed at your explanation.
“That’s so sweet of you; you’re always welcomed here!” She gives you a hug, quickly separating to drag you over the barricade. “Come on, I’ll show you to the others.”
Witnessing the set as a visitor was interesting. Despite the multiple people that greeted you on the way, it still felt as if you were an outsider with a V.I.P. pass to tour the set. Normally, you would be somewhere near the center, where the main scene was going to be shot. So staying back and watching the other crew members do their own things on the outskirts of that area was a new experience. In a way, you felt giddy like a child on a field trip.
“Actress Y/N is here!”
Eunha’s ecstatic voice traveled throughout the main area of the set, catching the attention of the directors, who had a figure you knew all too well standing right beside them. His eyes snapped up from the monitor D.O.P. Bang was showing him, eyes searching around for yours. Once he caught sight of your face, his eyes lit up.
“Y/N?”
If anyone asks, you totally weren’t checking him out. The clean black office suit he was wearing was incredibly flattering on his features, along with the formal brush-up the hairstylists put his hair in. You had only seen him with his hair down for the past few days—with his character supposedly portraying the look of someone who was comfortably back home to rest. And while that Seungmin was also objectively handsome, the way his hair was framing his face right now was stirring something more inside of you. Swallowing the feeling away, you straightened yourself.
“Hi, Seungmin.” You laughed. “Missed me?”
Seungmin abandoned his post with the directors and sped towards you. “Why are you here? It’s getting late,” he says, worried. Seungmin lets his eyes wander behind you for a second before a frown finds its way to his face. “And where’s that damned manager of yours?” You sighed at his obvious complaint.
“When are you going to let down on Changbin?” You say, unamused. “I swear, he means well. I came from the company, so he’s guarding the car since it’s just on hazard.”
“Still—” Seungmin tries to argue, only to be cut off by you waving your finger like he had been a bad child.
“Stop that. We talked about your coddling.”
He clicks his tongue in disapproval. “Maybe I’d stop once you actually learn how to take care of yourself.”
A series of claps interrupted the conversation you two were having. “Okay, break it up, lovebirds,” Minho says while inserting himself between you two. “It’s so nice to see you again, Actress Y/N. But we have a crew celebration dinner to attend, so I’ll borrow Seungmin first over here.”
Your co-star resists his manager, staying firmly on spot to prove a point. “Wait, I’ll walk her back to her car first.” Minho gave him an odd look.
“What do you mean walk her back?” He questions. “She’s attending. You just need to get changed out of that suit.” It was your turn to look confused.
“Huh?”
That was how you suddenly found yourself sitting at a long barbecue restaurant table with the other female crew members, silently listening to their energetic conversations while downing as much meat as you could. You didn’t know if this was a curse or a blessing in disguise, but you would surely regret it if you didn’t make the most of what was handed to you. Free food is still free food, even if it was a sponteneous invitation from the directors.
“I’m so happy we finished filming!” The woman assigned to your makeup, Yerin, said aloud. “Now it's those computer bastards’ turn to slave away.”
You couldn’t help but feel guilty for a portion of her hardships. “Once again, I apologize for all the trouble I caused you on set.” You slightly bowed while still sitting. “Hopefully, it will be better the next time we get to work together.” Yerin only waved off your apology.
“Oh, please—don’t be such a worrywart! Having you on set was a delight,” she squeals. “Plus, we had a blast seeing the development between you and Actor Kim Seungmin.” Eunha’s face quickly turned into one of horror.
“Yerin!”
You paled at her words. “I’m sorry, what?”
What did she mean by that? The inside of your mind turned into a battlefield at Yerin’s implication. Your eyes immediately turned to search for Changbin, feeling the need to inform him of a possible issue in the near future. In your experience in the industry, scandals always started like this. You didn’t want this to affect Seungmin’s career negatively, so it was always better to prepare early than late.
“Don’t listen to her, Y/N,” Eunha frantically says, trying to get a hold of her co-worker. “She’s just drunk.”
Yerin pushed her hands away, albeit weakly. “Eunha, stop being such a party pooper,” she whines. “We all know they’re dating now. Oh, our crew has tight lips, though! We won’t sell you guys or something.” That didn’t ease the panic that had already formed in your stomach.
“We’re not dating.”
You could only watch as Yerin’s showed genuine shock at your revelation. “Wait, for real?” She gasps. “That’s too bad. You two look great together!”
“Yerin, seriously!”
“Sorry, I’ll just go get some fresh air.” You excused yourself as politely as you could before standing up to head out the front door.
The now-cooled air pricked at your skin, making you breathe a bit more easily than in the humid interior of the restaurant. You lowered yourself to the narrow road’s curbside, choosing to sit down and admire the quiet neighborhood’s lights. It felt a lot better out here than inside, making you feel guilty for not enjoying the celebration more than you should have as one of the main characters for the project.
If you had refused, it would’ve been a bad look. You didn’t have a schedule for the night to use as a reason, and lying to the people who gave you the opportunity to work on your biggest project yet was out of the question. At the same time, you think of what you would’ve been doing instead if you had said no to their dinner offer. Laying down in your apartment while eating takeout wasn’t such a bad scene. The sliding of the aged wooden door brought you out of your thoughts.
“See? Just what I said,” a monotonous voice pointed out. “No self-preservation skills whatsoever.”
You rolled your eyes at the comment. “It’s just the outside of a family-owned barbecue establishment, Seungmin. There’s practically no one out here at this time.”
“Does that not make it worse?” He gave you a look of disapproval, crouching down slowly to join you on the curbside. “You have a knack for making people worry, do you?”
“Then stop worrying!” You snapped—his words reminding you of the situation you had just fled from to find peace.
Seungmin raised his hands in surrender. “Woah,” he exclaims. “Alright, something is clearly wrong. Talk to me.”
You could only turn away, feeling yourself unable to face him. It was an awkward subject to bring up, and you told yourself that Yerin had already promised that the crew was tight-lipped. Objectively, there was nothing more left for you to worry about. Subjectively, the implication bothered you. Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows at your reaction.
“Hey,” he calls out softly. “Did someone say something to you back there? You know I can beat them up, right?”
You grimaced at his attempts to comfort you. “You’re so violent,” you frowned. “What if it was a woman?”
“Oh, then I’m out of that. Sorry.”
“So full of shit, that’s what you are.”
Seungmin chuckled. “And that I am,” he replies, amused. “But seriously, I’m all ears if you want.”
A bitter taste announced its presence on your tongue, your mind forming a whirlpool of thoughts once again. “Why? Since we’re friends?” You spat out.
The space around you turned silent with Seungmin’s lack of response. You fought the urge to give him a discrete glance, just to see the damage you created. It took a few more seconds of the evening breeze being the only one talking between you two before Seungmin eventually spoke up.
“I’ll let you in on a secret,” he says in a low voice while running a hand through his hair to pull it back. His hairstyle from earlier was long gone, leaving you to wonder how he got rid of the hairspray so easily. “I actually don’t like that we’re friends.”
He watched as you deflated rapidly at his confession.
“Not in that way!” Seungmin splutters. “It’s just that I—ugh.” He brought up a palm to rub across his face.
Now, you were lost. The path of where the conversation was going became lost to you, making you stand in uncharted territory. Seungmin stayed silent for a few more seconds, trying to collect his thoughts. You let him have the time.
“You might curse at me for this or even put a distance between ourselves. But since this is our last day seeing each other on set until the movie’s release, I’ll take the chance now before I end up regretting I didn’t.”
“Seungmin, what—”
“The thought of staying just friends with you has been bothering me for a while now. It was like I was subjecting myself to my own personalized torture, where I couldn’t get away even if I tried. I’m still not sure what this entirely means for me—for us, but what I know is that platonic would never satisfy me at this rate.” He purses his lips, contemplating how to continue.
Eventually, Seungmin raised his head slightly to meet your eyes. “It’s odd. Admittedly, I’ve had my fair share of romantic relationships in the past, yet none of them could compare to what I was feeling now. At first, I thought it was just an obsession with you. Something that stemmed from my previous interest in you back at our senior level of academy—”
“You had a what?”
“I know,” he laughs humorlessly. “My friends used to tease me that I had a crush; that was why I was bothering you so much. Back then, I just brushed them off as jokes, telling them I only saw you as a rival. Well, look where that ended up.”
You were frozen in shock at his confession. “Seungmin,” you start. “I don’t know what to say.” He shakes his head.
“You don’t have to. Just let me have this moment to pour everything out,” he says. “Y/N, to put it into words, I feel at ease when I’m with you. At the same time, it always felt as if I was constantly worried about when it would end. That I would be left on my own again once you had finished your business with me. I tried to reason with myself, to put an acceptable distance between us in the case that what I had wasn’t the best for you. But I couldn’t do it, Y/N. Every time your voice entered my ears, it was like becoming a child. Unable to control their emotions and doing things without a second thought just because it felt like the right thing to do at the moment.” Seungmin looks up to the sky.
“That kiss we had—I think it was the happiest I’ve been in a while. It might have been just a job to you, because you could say it really was, but for me, it was finally a chance to express everything I had been holding back for the past few days. All I want you to remember is that nothing from that act was faked,” he exhales. “I really don’t think this is something you feel for a friend, so—”
“Let’s see where this takes us.”
“—What?”
“I’m not sure how you expect me to top what you just told me, but I’ll try with my own words.” You teased him with a genuine smile. “Seungmin, I feel strikingly similar to what you feel about me. Just maybe not as intensely yet.”
You let yourself move at the need to cup his face as he continues to look at you in shock. “I’m sure you already know that I spent quite a long time hating your guts, so the fact that I even started to feel an attraction towards you was shocking, to say the least. I was never one to believe in fictional tropes, despite my lifelong yearning to experience a love like that even once. As an actor, I’ve made a career out of acting those scenes out for people to see. But also as an actor, I knew more than anyone else how much real life would never be able to compare to the scripts I’ve seen brought to life on set. They were methodological, a feeling so carefully put together to achieve its maximum potential—real life isn’t like that.” You inhale deeply.
“Things happen for no reason, like they don’t for no reason either. And in a way, I felt both with you.” Your hands lowered themselves towards his hands to hold them tightly. “Enemies-to-lovers? It was laughable at first, but as the days went on, everything just fell into place as if it always belonged there. You feel like a child in front of me? I feel like I’ve never felt warmth in my entire life until you came along. When I first got out of the car yesterday, it was only then that I described urban life as cold and lonely in my entire life. I thought that maybe it was because I got too attached to the homey feel of the countryside that everything I’ve ever known somehow became foreign in a few days. But maybe it was just because of you.”
You found yourself giggling at the dumbfounded look he still had on his face, mind slow to take in what was happening in front of him. “What I’m saying is that I would love to see where this takes us. Right now, you can’t expect me to fall in love all of a sudden, especially considering our past. Though if you try hard enough, perhaps that might be just around the corner. What do you say?” Seungmin finally broke free from his trance, eyes watering.
“I’ll show you hard work that you’ve never seen before in your life.”
“And I believe it.” You pinch his cheek before standing up. “Now, let’s go back inside? The party is still ongoing.”
Seungmin clumsily follows, calling out just in time before you opened the door. “Wait—I still don’t have your number.” You gave him an astounded stare.
“Seriously?” You breathe out. “We went through all that, and we still don’t have each other’s numbers?”
Seungmin voices out his offense. “Well, I’m sorry that I was missing all my shots!”
“So, does that mean you’re gonna take a shot now, loverboy?”
“For you, yes.”
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Damian and the strays
ok look we all know the de aged dani (Danny and Dan). But what if we have siblings/ triplets, and I mean what if we take them all the same age (15/16) and make them into the most powerful trio in school . I mean you have 3 good looking individuals all siblings and in the same way, they all excel in different things (Dan-world history, Dani/Ellie- science Sports, Danny physics), but they are all so easy going and charming plus they are all jacked af.
Like tell me if i'm wrong but they would be beloved maybe popular on the downlow until they do something only fentons would risk doing. For example, orchestrating that every monday at 12:30 am the fire alarms would start and lunch would be extended for an hour more. No one can prove it, but none of them have doubts either. The triplets have their own groups but they mainly hang out with each other if you see one the other 2 are close by.
Anyways i'm thinking that one day they will actually see why the Fenton siblings are observed closely by the teacher and try to make sure they don't cause mayhem. One guy, a chad of sorts, decided he wanted to pick a fight with Dante, the more violent of the siblings. Chad didn't even finish his first insult before he was slammed through the door by Danny, who was arguably the pacifist of the 3. But the student body kind of got it. The thing is no one expected Dani (preferred name Ellie) to freaking pummel the guy.
No one saw them at school again.
It went on like this: the trio would move to one school.Would play pranks on the administration and have fun. Then someone would try something on one of them and the other 2 would pummel the person into the ground. The next day they would be gone never to return. They became an urban legend in some of the schools.
Until they came to Gotham Academy when they tried their pranks a kid would come and stop them. It was getting on their nerves. All their freaking plans down the drain all because of a snobby brat that didn't know how to mind his own. Eventually they start pranking the kid instead of the school as a revenge for ruining their fun. This leads to an all out prank war between all 4 of them (Dan backstabbed Danny and Ellie first they just followed the lead).
Soon enough the 3 of them became friends with Damian (they learned his name 4 weeks after the prank war started). The school body was half convinced that Damian and the triplets were actually long lost siblings. I mean they all have black hair, anger issues and green bluish eyes. Damian knew for a fact that he wasn't related to the Fentons; a DNA test concluded this. But that didn't mean that Damian didn't perceive the triplets as family.
Damian concludes that even if they aren't adopted into the family the Fentons belong. So that's why one day Damian brings Ellie, Danny and Dante to the family reunion. Where every relative and not so relative is there. Damian is showing them around, pointing at things around the house as a mini tour, and people are starting to notice that there are 3 new faces that they have never seen before.
there are whispers like: ‘really?! AGAIN?!?’ or “WOW im gone for 5 days and he got 3 more” and even ‘Damn so black hair, teen and probably sad backstory is the type’
The triplets looked at eachother looked at Damian and smiled like starved piranhas that have just been served a pound of meat and are ready to devore. Damian reflects it with his own devilish smile.
So all four of them start saying things out of context such as:
“I'm so glad to be here now”
“Yeah same we wouldn't have survived that hell of a chamber without you Dames”
“As long as we're no longer hunted for merely existing I don't mind staying for a while”
“Good things there weren't any actual bazookas that could have gone worse”
All four knew that out of context it seemed like the 3 siblings had been hunted and captured by some unknown person and Damian had rescued them and brought them home, but in reality they were just talking about the past paintball match they had earlier that morning.
So Bruce wanted to know some more but the rhetorical bullet, and asked “Damian… who, who are these kids” Damian proceeded to scoff and say “Why our new family members, truly father, are you incompetent. This is a family reunion hence only family or perceived family is invited” Damian tried to channel his inner 10 year old self whilst trying not to laugh. Danny and Ellie were on the same boat except they made their faces look devastated with tears in their eyes and everything looked pitiful, but on the inside they were laughing their asses off. Dante feigned indifference but he had teary eyes, from trying to stop himself from hitting the floor laughing at the devastated faces around.
Danny played his act up clearing his throat “we- we can leave if I mean we didn't know, yeah Dami said it was fine but we understand” he purposely made his voice crack to show how ‘hurt’ he was.
Ellie made herself look small so she could seem self conscious and uncomfortable with the situation.
Dante solidified them with the small sniffles he let out every few seconds.
Damian was looking to the ground to avoid being read, because right now he was shaking from laughter, and it would be clear in his face but if he angled himself right (which he did) it looked like he was silently sobbing. Danny put his arm around his shoulder, also looking towards the ground, also shaking from laughter. Dante and Ellie joined in. From an outside perspective it looked like they were extremely upset not being able to be family.
Bruce panicked seeing his younger child and 3 other kids the same age all begin to cry he just blurted out “NO no that not what i meant Damian I ment their names what are their names, and does Babs have to get involved so we can have documentation”
Damian cleared his tears and looked up at his father trying not to smirk “He is Dante, that one is Dani with an I but she prefers Ellie and that lanky one is Danny” Bruce nodded and went out the room to see if he could get started on the documents.
Once Bruce was out of the room all 4 of them burst out laughing, falling into a pile some were heard wheezing, others having maniacal laughter.
Once they finally stopped and looked at the rest of the family all four of them eerily said “he won't ever believe you” And everyone in the room shuddered. This quartet was going to bring wayyyy too much mischief into the family.
(if you're wondering where jazz is. She's in college living her best life. I mean she is a highly independent person she thrives of off living alone with a clear schedule set)
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Also i didn't put any specific names for the previous schools or the family members bc I thought it would be better for u guys to decide who witnessed the beginning of the end.
#dc x dp#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp crossover#Damian only started this#as a way to stop the triplets from becoming rouges#The tripplets love chaos#Im 100% sure Bruce will absolutely do everything in his power to avoid heart felt convos#Cass was there and and knew abt the act but didn't say anything. She's taking them to the theater to see heathers
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I think for Star Trek 4 (AOS) they should just remake TMP because think about it the ending for Beyond sets up such a good jumping point for a TMP remake. Like yeah, they're on their whole 5 year deep space mission thing, and in the beginning Kirk was considering becoming a Vice Admiral, and Spock was thinking of going to New Vulcan, but it all gets resolved in the end or does it? What if after the 5 year mision, Spock does run away to New Vulcan to do Kohlinar, and Kirk takes the Vice Admiral position at Yorktown. Like it's literally the perfect setup for a TMP remake, and I'm honestly curious about how they're going to change it to fit the AOS character.
Plus Chris Pine is older now, so we don't need to see him getting beaten up in every movie anymore, just let him be old man vice admiral, and let him wear glasses too. And I think we deserve to see Zachary Quinto in that cunty getting back with my divorced husband Vulcan robes. But all in all this is actually a thinly veiled desire of mine to see Karl Urban in the fuck ass Disco outfit with the necklace and beard Bones wore.
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Good News - July 8-14
Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $Kaybarr1735! And if you tip me and give me a way to contact you, at the end of the month I'll send you a link to all of the articles I found but didn't use each week!
1. Zoo welcomes birth of four endangered horse foals
“[The Marwell Zoo in GB] said it was "delighted" to welcome the arrivals to the endangered Przewalski’s horse herd. All four are female and said to be "doing well" after two were born in May and two in June. […] “These horses, that were previously listed extinct in the wild, are an example of how zoo breeding programmes can help restore threatened species around the world.” […] All the Przewalski’s horses alive today are descended from just 12 individuals. Current estimates suggest there are 178 mature individuals living in the wild.”
2. Restoring woodlands and planting trees for sustainability success
“In 2023, [the Marwell Zoo] planted 9,000 new trees […] both within the zoo and on our surrounding land. […] Marwell tries to encourage natural feeding behaviour and nutrition by including leafy material [in animals’ feed] as much as possible. […] Planting more trees and enhancing management of our existing woodlands, prepares the way to further self-sufficiency in browse production in the future. Plus, it creates new habitats for wildlife in our woodland areas.”
3. Inclusive Playgrounds Allow Children Of All Abilities To Play
“With ramps allowing children in wheelchairs to ascend the central play structure, as well as numerous other swings and apparatus usable for children of all abilities, the 16,000-square-foot P.K.’s Place is St. Paul’s first fully inclusive playground. […] To be universally accessible, a play area must have at least 70% of its play features fully accessible, far more than required by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). […] Play areas should allow parents and grandparents with disabilities to participate as well.”
4. Combination treatment can increase human insulin-producing cells in vivo
“[Diabetes-model mice] were treated with the combination therapy [of a plant product called harmine and “a widely used class of type 2 diabetes therapy”] and their diabetes was rapidly reversed. Strikingly, human beta cell numbers increased by 700 percent over three months with this drug combination. "This is the first time scientists have developed a drug treatment that is proven to increase adult human beta cell numbers in vivo. This research brings hope for the use of future regenerative therapies to potentially treat the hundreds of millions of people with diabetes," said Dr. Garcia-Ocaña, the paper's corresponding author.”
5. Decades of Dedication: Australia’s Largest Ongoing Urban Restoration Project
“[Friends of Lake Claremont] has transformed the area into a thriving ecosystem, re-establishing native habitats and fostering biodiversity. This year, 800 native seedlings (100 trees, 350 shrubs and 350 ground covers) have been planted on the northwestern buffer of Lake Claremont. Volunteers replaced a large Port Jackson fig (Ficus rubiginosa) affected by [beetle] infestation with native plants to enhance the local wildlife habitat, thereby benefiting insects, frogs, birds and brown bandicoots. […] Overall, the project contributes to the area’s function as a regional ecological corridor, linking inland bushlands, the Swan River and the Indian Ocean.”
6. Important habitat for fish in Heart of the Fraser now conserved
“British Columbia’s iconic salmon now have more protected spawning habitat in the lower Fraser River, thanks to the Nature Conservancy of Canada’s (NCC’s) conservation acquisition of Carey Island. […] Carey Island and its gravel channels offer calm and crucial spawning and rearing habitat for the river’s fish and aquatic species. […] The Pelólxw Tribe […is also] actively working to restore the resilience of aquatic habitat within this stretch of the Lower Fraser. NCC is exploring opportunities to collaborate with the Pelólxw Tribe in support of their vision for stewardship of the area, which prioritizes both ecological and cultural values.”
7. Prime editing efficiently corrects cystic fibrosis mutation in human lung cells
“[R]esearchers have developed a gene-editing approach that efficiently corrects the most common mutation that causes cystic fibrosis, found in 85 percent of patients. With further development, it could pave the way for treatments that are administered only once and have fewer side effects. The new method precisely and durably corrects the mutation in human lung cells, restoring cell function to levels similar to that of Trikafta [the standard treatment since 2019].”
8. Montana’s High Court Considers a Constitutional Right to a Stable Climate
“At issue was the appeal of a decision last year, when a Montana judge blocked a state law that prohibited agencies from considering climate impacts when deciding whether to approve fossil fuel projects such as new power plants, pipelines or mining. The ruling, by District Judge Kathy Seeley, was prompted by a lawsuit filed by 16 youths who argued that the law violated Montana’s constitutional right to a “clean and healthful environment.” It was the first ruling in the United States to effectively establish constitutional rights to a stable climate[….]”
9. The US is about to get its first solar-covered canal
“The first canal-based solar project in the U.S. is nearing completion on tribal lands south of Phoenix, Arizona. […] The long, narrow solar array design would snake along the line of the canal and tap into the local electrical distribution grid every 1,000 feet, or every one megawatt. […] “Canal solar allows for greater power production per land size, cleaner water, less power transmission losses, and significant reduction in evaporation[….]” Covering the entire 8,000 miles of canals and waterways managed by the Bureau of Reclamation with solar panels could generate over 25 gigawatts of renewable energy and reduce water evaporation by tens of billions of gallons[….]”
10. Camera traps offer glimpse of first beaver born in Northumberland for 400 years
“"It’s such a relief that they have bred successfully and to see a new fluffy kit swimming with the family[….]” In just one year [since releasing the beavers], there has been a noticeable increase in resident trout, says the National Trust, along with more regular visits from kingfishers and grey herons. There are more insects at the site, too, thanks to the organic matter that builds up behind the dams, which in turn provides food for Daubenton’s bats. […] Beavers also play an important role in creating habitats that are more resilient to the effects of climate change[….]”
July 1-7 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)
#hopepunk#good news#horse#zoo#nature#extinct species#sustainability#forest#children#disability#playground#disabled#wheelchair#diabetes#medicine#science#urban#biodiversity#ecosystem#fish#first nations#cystic fibrosis#gene editing#climate change#climate#youth#human rights#solar panels#solar energy#beaver
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The Kickstarter for Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is Live!!
Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is our team’s debut TTRPG, over three years in the making! The campaign will run from April 10th to May 10th!
youtube
How far would you go to learn the truth?
Play amateur detectives caught up in things they barely understand, and explore how the lives of your characters unravel as they push themselves to dig deeper into the unknown!
Tense investigations!
Delve into an investigation-focused mystery and horror system that lets players take initiative and use their characters’ unique strengths to find clues and deduce conclusions themselves. A few bad rolls won’t get the party hopelessly stuck, but at the same time Eureka respects their intellect and lets them take charge of solving the mystery!
Character-driven gameplay!
Stats and abilities are based on who your character is as a person. Freeform character creation allows you to build a totally unique little guy, and have a totally unique gameplay experience with him! This is supported by the backbone of the Composure mechanic. Stress, fear, fatigue, and hunger will wear your investigators down as they trudge deeper into the unknown. Food, sleep, and connections with their fellow investigators are the only way to keep them going!
Secrets inside and out!
Any investigator could be a monster, helping their friends while trying not to reveal their true natures. The party will learn to trust and rely on each other, or explode into a tangled net of drama!
Intense, tactical combat!
Hits are devastating, and misses are unpredictable–firing a gun will always change the situation somehow, for better or for worse!
Now in Technicolor!
Evocative artwork from talented femme-fatales @chaospyromancy and @qsycomplainsalot and the mysterious @theblackwarden paint a gorgeously-realized portrait of a world with shadows lurking in every corner.
Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. We are almost at the end, we just need some financial support to put the finishing touches on it and make the final push to get it ready for official release!
With every stretch goal we meet, the game gets better and better. Tons of beautiful new artwork, new options for gameplay, and even two entirely new playable Monsters could be added to the book, so visit the Kickstarter and secure your copy today!
If you want to try before you buy, you can download a free demo of the prerelease version from our website or our itch.io page!
If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!
You can also support us on Ko-fi, or by checking out our merchandise!
Join our TTRPG Book Club At the time of writng this, Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is the current game being played in the book club, and anyone who wants to participate in discussion, but can’t afford to make a contribution, will be given the most updated prerelease version for free! Plus it’s just a great place to discuss and play new TTRPGs you might not be able to otherwise!
We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.
#eureka: investigative urban fantasy#ttrpg#rpg#roleplaying#tabletop#eureka#coc#monsters#indie designer#indie#indie games#indiegames#indie game#ttrpg design#ttrpg tumblr#ttrpg art#indie ttrpg#ttrpg community#ttrpgs#free rpg#fantasy rpg#rpgs#supernatural rpg#tabletop roleplaying#roleplay#critical role#roleplaying games#tabletop role playing game#friends at the table#tiny table
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Queer Adult SFF Books Bracket: Preliminary Round
Book summaries and submitted endorsements below:
The Last Sun by K.D. Edwards (The Tarot Sequence series)
Endorsement from submitter: "Totally immersive, absolutely gut wrenching, with the most fascinating of unreliable narrators, this series has me in a chokehold. This first book is the least diverse, but as the series goes on you get more female characters and more characters of color. I think one of the most personally striking things for me is how nice it is to read a book by an ace man about an ace man. We don't get near enough of those. Plus I will die on the QPR Rune/Brand hill. There are so few stories where one of the most crucial relationships in the book is neither romantic nor sexual and you can pry it out of my cold dead hands."
Rune Saint John, last child of the fallen Sun Court, is hired to search for Lady Judgment's missing son, Addam, on New Atlantis, the island city where the Atlanteans moved after ordinary humans destroyed their original home.
With his companion and bodyguard, Brand, he questions Addam's relatives and business contacts through the highest ranks of the nobles of New Atlantis. But as they investigate, they uncover more than a missing man: a legendary creature connected to the secret of the massacre of Rune's Court.
In looking for Addam, can Rune find the truth behind his family's death and the torments of his past?
Fantasy, urban fantasy, mystery, series, adult
The Javelin Program by Derin Edala (Time to Orbit: Unknown series)
When Dr Aspen Greaves signed up for the Javelin Program, humanity's first foray into colonising deep space, they expected to wake up to life in a thriving colony on a distant planet. Instead, they find themself five years away from their destination on a broken spaceship full of complex mysteries, dead astronauts, and a very unhelpful AI.
Aspen wasn't trained for any of this. But if they can't keep themselves alive, get the ship in working order, and find out what went wrong by unravelling a chain of mysteries leading all the way back to distant Earth, then neither Aspen nor the five thousand sleeping passengers in their care will ever see a planet again.
Science fiction, mystery, series, adult
#polls#queer adult sff#the last sun#the tarot sequence#k.d. edwards#kd edwards#the javelin program#derin edala#time to orbit: unknown#time to orbit unknown#books#booklr#lgbtqia#tumblr polls#bookblr#book#lgbt books#queer books#poll#sff#sff books#queer sff#book polls#queer lit#queer literature
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I think my least favorite internet criticism of Meghan Fitzmartin is the idea that she "just wanted to push her ship," meaning Tim/Bernard. Because honestly? I think that's straight-up bullshit.
Having read the Urban Legends stories, the Pride Special reprint, Tim Drake: Robin and Young Justice Dark Crisis, plus what interviews and social media she's been doing as these comics came out, there is zero evidence to me to back that statement up. If that were true, the Urban Legends stories probably would've been more about bringing Bernard back and re-establishing him as a character. Y'know, building up their relationship.
But it wasn't about their relationship. It was about Tim and his feelings, his internal conflict, what he needed. That's what Fitzmartin even said in the interviews after, that she, "felt like this was something Tim needed." And that's true going into TD:R too -- yeah, Bernard is there and their relationship is a prominent subplot, but he gets about as much page time as Darcy and Detective Williams, and the focus is always on Tim's ongoing story and his developing relationships with all the people around him.
That's why I like that they went with Bernard as his "closet key." Not because I'm super devoted to the pairing or anything -- I truly could take or leave the arrangement -- but because they're tolerably cute together and, more importantly, dating a civilian supporting character comes with far less baggage than establishing a relationship with a fellow hero. By their very nature, superhero stories are more heavily weighted towards the hero characters than their civilian support, that's just a fact, and, with rare exception, civilian love interests tend to act more as sounding boards to develop and reflect the leads. Making Tim's first boyfriend an old civilian friend means the story could be about Tim's personal character growth, internal conflict, and explorations of his sexuality.
I genuinely think that's the only reason Fitzmartin went with Bernard. She only had around 30 pages to tell that Urban Legends story (and I guarantee you, she was assigned that page count before writing), so bringing back a previous civilian friend meant she didn't have to try to establish a whole new relationship on top of introducing a villain faction and telling a superhero-based investigation story. And for whatever reason, Bernard was the most popular of Tim's civilian buddies to rare-pair him with before this all happened. (Just check AO3: Prior to the release of the Urban Legends stories, Tim/Bernard had ~42 fics, Sebastian Ives got 4, and Danny Temple had 1.)
When Meghan Fitzmartin says that she went back, read Tim's old stories, and felt he needed to come out of the closet, I believe her. And I'm happy she felt that way and was allowed to act on those feelings because it's something I felt too, reading those stories. Those feelings that had nothing to do with "ships" or even with characters like Kon or Dick and everything to do with Tim and who he is as a person.
To sweep all that away as "she just wants to push her preferred ship" just feels so... dismissive and rude.
#dc comics#tim drake#bernard dowd#meghan fitzmartin#tim drake robin#tim/bernard#meta#that page limit ftr is also probably why the tim/steph breakup happened off panel#there's only so much space and it wasn't important to see it just that it happened#95 percent of the time if someone says 'this creator is pushing their ship' I assume they're wrong#because they almost always are
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