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#pls we spent like the whole two seasons with just these four and they just suffered the whole time
strawberri-draws · 2 months
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princess tutu fellas from memory
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quodekash · 2 years
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A Way Too In-Depth Over-Analysis of Sorvus
I apologise in advance. For all of this. There’s a lot. These guys have inserted themselves into every empty renting space in my brain and uprooted all the taken spaces and moved in to everything. So to appease my brain I had to do this and then it just kept going. Also I’m Australian, so I have different spellings of some words, like “favourite” and you’re just gonna have to deal with that. Also also warning for very long paragraph rambles from me.
You’re literally gonna get the entire story here but with commentary at every paragraph. And sometimes four times in one paragraph. Anyway. 
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1. “For weeks” means they’ve spent heaps of time together, and using this instance as a guide, probably with no one but them. They’ve progressively learnt more and more about each other, yet later Soren is still super bright and excited to learn that Corvus’ favourite season is autumn, and that’s just so pure.
2. I would like to see this please. 
3. “[…]lost most of the time” implies that Corvus won sometimes. teLL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERY SINGLE ONE PLS I NEED TO KNOW WHICH ONES CORVUS WON (and yeah I also just need more Sorvus content but what can I say, they mean everything to me) 
4. Corvus could probably just not participate, or tell Soren he’s too tired, or something along those lines. And yet he always tries his best, he still does it despite knowing he’ll probably lose. The fact that he’s not avoiding the challenges tells us that Corvus truly appreciates Soren’s friendship/companionship/company/etc and is fully willing to do tasks that he’s not great at to spend time with Soren and put a smile on his face. And you can’t tell me that’s not love, whether romantic or platonic or whatever. Honestly, if Corvus’ top love language is anything, I’d say it’s quality time. The other four just don’t quite fit, and, from the little we see of Corvus on screen, it seems like he’s most content when spending time with his favourite people. As for Soren, you could argue his love language is literally any of them. But I think his top two are words of affirmation and quality time - he was always so invalidated his whole life, mostly by his own father (I swear I’ll make a post of this at some point). His mother left, his father neglected him, his sister betrayed him. That’s gotta bring trust issues. So after all that, he’d appreciate someone telling him he’s worth it and telling him they love him. He’d appreciate spending time with those he loves, not even doing anything, just sitting and enjoying each other’s company, without his flaws being pointed out, without the stress of trying to keep his family together, just sitting there and loving and breathing and being. 
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 1. This part could be a metaphor?? Corvus wants to go further with relationships at an easy pace where Soren wants to speed it up? Corvus is more of a peaceful person and Soren is scared of losing people and missing out on particular moments of relationships so he tries to experience it all at once?? It’s entirely possible I’m reading too far into this but I’m treating this like a school assignment, where you have to read too far into everything. You decide whether this is a good interpretation or not, I can’t decide. 
2.a. If Soren has mentioned it “every time”, that implies a few things. The first is that they go up there enough for Soren to mention it a lot. Soren has a favourite place in the entire castle, and he wants to share it with Corvus (and there’s no one up there but them ;] IM KIDDING- or am I? Honestly I can’t tell, you decide.)  2.b. The second thing is that Corvus has heard Soren talk about this part of the castle  a lot. But there’s not even the slightest hint of description of Corvus’ annoyance at having to listen to Soren constantly say this is one of his favourite places, he just lets him tell him, over and over. It’s getting little personal here, but Soren totally has ADHD, which makes my job easier bc I also have ADHD.  2.b.ii. I personally forget all the time if I’ve told this particular person this particular story/fact/whatever it is or not, so I constantly tell the same story over and over. It feels exciting bc each time it feels like I’m telling them for the first time, since I don’t remember the previous times. So when the person/people I’m talking to don’t lost their patience or get annoyed or anything when I tell them something I’ve already told them, and instead they just react like it’s the first time they’ve heard it, it feels really validating. So I’m thinking Soren feels the same, and Corvus not showing a hint of annoyance despite hearing this a lot feels really good to my neurodivergent brain and probably feels good to Soren’s, too. 
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1. Corvus. Notices things. About. Soren. And not just recently, it’s “a long time ago”, meaning he’s observed Soren and committed his habits to memory for years. I love them. 
2. ADHDDDDDDD 
3. He ✨cares✨ 
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1. Something about the way this is worded is so beautiful. A sentence of peaceful description in the midst of casual dialogue. It makes it feel like they’re one person, staring at the beautiful view, taking it all in, together with each other but alone from anyone else to distract them from the gorgeous autumn horizon. 
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1. Like I said earlier (by earlier, I mean the literal first thing I said. There’s still a lot to go. This thing is called a way too in-depth over-analysis for a reason), Soren is so purely excited with the knowledge that Corvus’ favourite season is autumn. Autumn, the season they’re presently in. Meaning, for a few months, Corvus is always experiencing his favourite season, meaning he’s probably always feeling some amount of happiness/content, and the thought that Corvus is happy makes Soren happy. 
2. They’re both just standing on a castle, next to each other, and staring out at nature. It probably feels like they’re the only people in the world. If they’re the only people, then to each of them, the most important thing in existence is (probably) the other. It also might be a metaphor to something, but I can’t figure out what it is. It’s possible the metaphor is something I’ve already mentioned. But if anyone thinks of anything, please lemme know, it’s an itch I can’t reach so if anyone can, please scratch it for me. (I made a metaphor about not being able to figure out a metaphor. Metaphor-caption or something, idk man) 
3. Such a simple statement. Standing in such a relaxed way. He’s at peace, while alone with one of the most energetic people like ever. 
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1. That’s a date. Surely I’m not the only one seeing this, right? Soren, you’re describing a date. Idk if you realised, but that’s a date. You’ve just suggested a date. And Corvus will say yes. 
2. Soren’s horrified that Corvus would possibly be mistreated. He’s also, more importantly, scared that it wasn’t mistreatment but Corvus’ choice, because if it was a choice then Corvus might not like beds and castles and other people and Soren can’t handle the thought that Corvus might leave him, just like everyone else he’s ever loved and trusted. 
3. Help now I’m picturing little forest dates, with picnics and lying next to each other, staring at the canopy of leaves above them, and glancing at each other every time the other looks away and smiling and holding hands and Soren lying with his head on Corvus’ chest and a leaf falling right on Soren’s face and Corvus’ laugher rumbling his belly and making Soren sit up and throw the leaf at him and they laugh and smile and talk and they’re in love help 
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1. I kinda touched on this earlier, but Soren can’t fathom the idea of being without Corvus. Probably because of losing his entire family so Corvus is just about all Soren’s got left. And he’s really scared that he’ll lose him, too, and losing everyone would make Soren lost; lost and alone and scared and vulnerable and he needs a hug i volunteer as tribute and shut up that’s possible this is my post i make the rules but if i cant hug him then i volunteer Corvus as tribute 
2. (Yes we’re talking about sentence structure. This is a way too in-depth over-analysis, get over it already man.)  It’s repeated that something is bothering Soren. Repetition means emphasis, that the author wants us to know that it’s an important thing, so they say it a couple times. Something is bothering Soren, and that bothers Corvus. He wants to help Soren and get rid of this thing that’s bothering him (probably). 
3. Let me translate what Soren is trying to say here: “What about me? Do you like me?” He’s seeking validating and wanting to get Corvus to stay, because without Corvus he has nothing. 
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1. Translation again: “I like you. I trust you. And trust is really important now, with everything that’s happened. There was a war. Everyone I’ve ever trusted betrayed me or left me. So please date me join the crown guard with me so I have more opportunities to ask you to date me it’s really big that I trust you so much, because I’ve been having issues with trust.” 
2. I have asd!corvus head canons, so eye contact here is really important and rare 
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1. He’s paying attention to him. 
2. I like to imagine he did finger guns 
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1. Imagine how this went down. “I like corvus a lot” “yeah, he’s great! I want him to stay in katolis but hes more at home in the forest-“ “corvus should be crown guard… I really trust him.” “-yeah, cos you’re in love with him- I trust him too. You should ask him to date you join.” (ez totally ships it and tries to set them up a lot and you cant tell me otherwise) 
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1. He’s trying to avoid Corvus seeing the truth in his eyes; that he doesn’t want Corvus to go, that he loves Corvus, that without Corvus he doesn’t know who or even what he is, because Corvus is all he has left. 
2. I know this is like an emotional flicker or whatever, but what if it’s literally pain and wounds that are hidden behind his protective armour? Soren broke like all his bones. There’s almost no way he doesn’t still get flashes/twinges of pain (I feel like there’s some kind of medical term for that but I’ve forgotten what it is). He definitely doesn’t tell anyone about it, but probably gets flashes of pain every so often, and Corvus has somehow managed to pick up on that. Maybe. 
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1. People with ADHD are often over-thinkers (at least I think so? I don’t have any sources for it but I’m an over-thinker and so is everyone I know with ADHD. So probably.), so Corvus said it “as plainly as he could” to stop Soren from over-thinking it and spiralling. He gets it out, doesn’t stall, doesn’t mislead, doesn’t confuse. Just says it, and there it is, and Soren is so happy
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1. I’ll admit it, I’m still thoroughly confused by this part but it’s fine cos they’re both happy and that makes me happy. 
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and that’s all the shenanigans i have for you today. if you made it this far, flipping wow, because there is quite literally more analysis here than there is story. 
but that’s not all from me. 
no, i have eight notes on my phone ready for things to be added to them, and theyll be here… at some point. if you wanna be notified when i post them you can follow me i guess. or go to the tag at the bottom of each of these posts, ‘tdp rambles with bj’ (hopefully it’s worked) and you can follow that or something? idk. sorry, im bad at self-promos. uhh. yeah. anyway this was fun, im so tired but so thrilled to finally have all my thoughts out in once place. stay calm and ship sorvus, everyone. 
Have a gay day!  -BJ
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itsnothesameasitwas · 3 years
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hiii! im looking for good freinds to lovers fics bc i go through them sooooo fast :/ if you have any good ones pls send them !!!
hii… sorry this took me a whole day but here some Friends to Lovers fics… all the fics I’m recommending are Larry and please be careful with the tags before start reading and leave kudos :)
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ABO
♥ Promise Me You Won't Run Away by thinlines @thinlinez | 23k | E
“Does kissing me stop you from having bad thoughts?” Harry asked, voice muffled into the collar of Louis’ dress shirt. Louis chuckled at this. He trailed a hand down Harry’s back, feeling the muscles tensing along with his touch.
“I guess you can say that. You’re a good distraction.”
“Then I will be the best distraction.” Harry answered, pulling back and watched Louis’ lips unashamedly.
“Come distract me, then.”
Or the Prince/ Knight AU in which Harry left Louis, but the omega never once gave up on them.
♥ i don't wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your neck by crybaby | 19k | E
Harry has been in love with Louis Tomlinson for four years, five months, and thirteen days.
Harry had fallen in love with Louis Tomlinson like how he’d seen in movies, and how he’d read in all the books he’d stolen from Gemma, headfirst and shameless. The only problem was, that in films and books, love was always either returned instantly, or else it took time for unrequited love to lose the first two letters, and since the first option was obviously not true, Harry decided he would wait for the second to become reality. And so Harry waited, three years, eight months, and four days, before his heart had been broken by a gentle rejection and a misplaced blowjob, before Louis and Gemma had packed up and gone to Manchester for university.
(Harry is a hopelessly romantic omega and Louis is his sister's best friend)
♥ picking up the pieces by falsegoodnight @falsegoodnight | 35k | E
“Zayn,” he murmurs, quietly but desperately.
Knowing what to do immediately, Zayn discreetly glances behind them to scan the room. “Walking over,” he says, confirming Louis’ worst fears.
“Maybe he’ll just pass by without stopping,” Louis says, glancing at the tables next to them as if hoping to find some other group of friends Harry had in high school that he could possibly want to talk to.
Eyebrow arched and lips pursed, Zayn has the nerve to look amused. “He’s looking directly at us.”
“Cause a diversion,” Louis rushes through his teeth, panic clawing up his throat. He can’t look Harry in the face again. Not yet, maybe not ever.
Zayn rolls his eyes and grabs his hand, interlocking their fingers. “It’s now or never, dear.”
- Louis returns to his hometown for the first time in ten years for his high school reunion and is faced with memories he’s long since tried to forget.
MPREG
♥ waiting on you by beckywritesthings @beckydoesthings | 21k | M
“Do you want to touch?” Harry asks, taking one of his hands off to tangle with Louis’. His open invitation finally drags Louis’ attention away from his baby and up to his face, blue eyes wobbly with emotions. It’s clear that he’s too taken to really form words, so Harry takes the initiative to press their laced hands against his shirt fabric, warmth from the skin radiating through.
Louis pushes his shirt up to his chest, taking Harry’s hand and pressing it to hold the fabric in place. His hands return to warm skin, palms even more scalding now that there’s nothing in between them. And then, as if that wasn’t enough for Harry’s heart to handle, Louis leans in, pressing his lips right above his belly button.
“Hi, baby,” he says, lips moving across his skin softly. “I’m your… I’m Louis.”
Or Harry is pregnant with a stranger’s baby and Louis doesn’t know. It’s a minor detail that Harry’s both living with Louis and in love with him. No big deal.
♥ you fit me better than my favourite sweater by brightbluelou | 13k | NR
Harry didn't mean to fall in love with his best friend, and he definitely didn't mean to get pregnant. Despite that, it’s probably still the best thing that’s ever happened to him. And after that, well. It just kept getting better.
or; the one where Harry and Louis are friends-with-benefits and Harry unexpectedly gets pregnant. Harry never wants to stop getting pregnant after that, but Louis thinks seven kids is probably enough.
AUS
♥ our matchmaker: the fucking universe by peachloulou | 8k | E |
On your eighteenth birthday, you end up with your soulmates' name tattooed on your body. The universe works in a fairly simple way, so Louis knows Harry is his soulmate. He's got Harry's name tattooed on his ass cheek like a tramp stamp, and Harry's got the name Lou written on the inside of his wrist. Except Harry doesn't know what Louis' soulmates name is because Louis is a romantic fool, and, ever since Harry woke up with the name Lou two years after Louis, he's been a quest to find his own soulmate. Meeting after meeting.
But maybe Louis' wrong, and he and Harry are nothing more than best friends.
Or the one where the universe is annoyingly fucking complicated.
♥ Love Isn't Always on Time by softfonds @softfonds | 45k | E
Falling in love with your best friend sounds like a good idea, until he comes back from a work trip engaged to another man. A Made of Honor AU.
♥ You Might Want to Marry My Husband by Rearviewdreamer | 37k | M
When Harry’s husband dies, he asks one thing of him; to find love and happiness again without him. It’s a request that Harry is happy to disregard, until he meets the one person who is impossible to ignore.
♥ Work of Magic by Bekita @justalarryblog | 34k | NR
"C’mon Liam, are you really going to use this against me now? You know the kind of humans his kind is! You know very well why we hunt them!" Louis said, done with the conversation and walking down the hall.
"No! We hunt people who don’t care about others, and neither Harry nor anyone in his family is like that!” Liam exasperated, following behind. “Louis, it's been two weeks, don’t you wanna know how Harry is? Has this hatred taken over so fast?" Liam inquired, knowing the hit a nerve.
"You know what, Liam? I'm not going to have this conversation with you." Louis said decisively, turning his back to his friend ready to go to his class.
But life is never fair, is it? When he turned around he was face to face with Harry in the middle of the hallway. The two stared at each other. Do I hate him? Louis wondered as he watched Harry's eyes fill with tears and seem to be begging for something. He preferred to ignore the pang in his chest and the urge to comfort the boy in front of him. He lowered his head and continued on his way.
Or the one that Louis is a WitchHunter and Harry is a Witch and they keep it as a secret, but they fall in love.
♥ practice in pencil, seal it in pen by loubellies @loubellies | 16k | E
AU where drunk Harry lifts Louis up after someone says “bottoms up”. Louis blushes at Harry’s antics, flustered that his best friend knew him more than he thought. Friends to lovers with a happy ending pleaseor Harry is in love with Louis but he doesn't know.
♥ plant new seeds by glitterhaz @cloudslou | 44k | TUA
Harry nods, not trusting his words. Slowly, he crawls under the covers of his bed, all too aware that Louis is doing the same, so close to him. Initially, he faces his desk, not looking at Louis, but after a few minutes he gets uncomfortable and turns over. Now, he’s only a foot from Louis’ face, and Louis has turned around too.
He doesn’t think Louis is asleep already, and it's confirmed when Louis’ eyes blink open sleepily. Harry looks at Louis, and Louis looks at him. Really looks.
“Can you see me?” Louis whispers.
Harry doesn’t understand the question, not really, but nods anyway. “Yeah, I see you,”
**Louis works at a lonely community garden, Harry is the upstanding fraternity man who makes it all feels a little less lonely. Over the course of a semester, that is.
♥ Skin New, Hands True, My Hands All Over You by PearlyDewdrops | 44k | E
Harry designs wedding cakes, so of course meeting blissfully happy couples every day is part of his job description. Unfortunately, it's caused Harry to perpetually hope each new day is the one he'll find love, too. That is, until Harry realises everything he's ever wanted is right under his nose in the shape of his best friend, Louis.
But predictably, Harry only comes to this epiphany when Louis starts seeing someone else. And this is not a John Hughes movie as far as Harry is aware. Everyone else is pretty sure, though.
Featuring a heavy dose of pining, copious amounts of alcohol, drunk dialing that results in a situation reminiscent of Rachel Green's, a ginger cat that likes to interrupt intimate moments, and a Halloween party that changes everything.
♥ if it kills me by you_explode | 110k | M
Harry and Louis have worked together in a difficult office environment for six years. They're best friends; Louis is the bright spot of all of Harry's days. But Louis is in love with Harry, and Harry's engaged to someone else. And that's only the beginning.
The Office AU. More or less follows the first five seasons. A lot of pining and misunderstanding the depth of feelings and rejection and angst, until there isn’t.
♥ In This Light by exhilarated | 99k | E
Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance.
♥ smell the sea, feel the sky by lightswoodmagic @lightwoodsmagic | 16k | E
They’d been planning this beach trip for months, stressing around work schedules and engagement parties, trying to find the perfect place to stay in and a time where there wouldn’t be families everywhere but the weather still perfect. Louis had spent what felt like hours researching and planning, dinners with Zayn and his boyfriend at their house that just ended in looking at places and sending them to Niall. He’d been looking forward to it for weeks, getting away from his job and his bullshit neighbours and the noise of the city.
It seemed ridiculous, really, that in all that time, Zayn hadn’t mentioned once that Harry was coming.
Or, Louis doesn't know how he's going to spend a week with the one person he wants and can't have. Harry proves him wrong.
♥ This Shifting Ground by zarah5 | 28k | M
University AU. In which Louis, law student, is the cheeky waiter to Harry’s dates. This is how it starts.
♥ No One Like You by myownspark | 19k | M
Dear Niall,I was glad to have the chance to talk with you again at the AHA conference. Your idea that the Musee D’Orsay Tomlinson painting is in fact not a self-portrait is an intriguing one, and I may have discovered something that will have a bearing on that theory.
Some background: as you may remember, I’ve been researching for a book I’m writing about Harry Styles. I’ve been in communication with Styles’ last living descendant, who is in possession of a trunk that her family believed to have belonged to Styles himself. It held some personal items she presumes to be his, including two unmounted paintings and a small collection of letters.
Upon spending the last few days in Provins studying these items, I believe there to be a connection between Tomlinson and Styles, and I would very much like your opinion.
Are you up for a trip to France?
Sincerely, Liam Payne
Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.
♥ across city skyline (and straight through my heart) by Halos_Boat @halohamilton | 76k | M
Louis Tomlinson meets Hollywood Heartthrob, Harry Styles when he walks into Louis' little bakery one day.
Immediately, Louis is charmed by him and Louis thinks Harry might feel the same way, given the fact that Harry has visited the bakery everyday since he'd come to town.
Until one day, Harry walks in with a boyfriend under his arm and a smile on his face.
The one where Louis owns a small bakery that's well known in his town and Harry Styles is an actor who comes to town to film a new movie. Louis is endeared by him, but that doesn’t seem to matter since Harry Styles is already taken.
♥ Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | 113k | M
As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.
♥ Here In The Afterglow by fondleeds | 88k | NR
“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.
Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”
- 1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.
♥ Nicotine by KrisStylinson | 42k | E
"We're two different types of people, Liam. He likes sex and drugs, I like theater and tea. Trust me, we'd never date." Except they would, they do, and neither of them plans on letting go anytime soon.
"Just because you can get me hard doesn't mean I like you," Louis whispered. The fact was, he didn't like Harry right now, not at all. Not even a bit.
"Yeah, yeah," Harry murmured, his breath fanning over Louis' cock as he spoke. "You done telling me how much you hate me so I can suck you off?"
♥ California Sold by isthatyoularry | 123k | M
Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.
A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.
—————
if you feel like you need more, don’t hesitate to ask me :)
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pregnant-piggy · 3 years
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I don’t wanna be your ex
James Potter x slytherin!reader
words: 6.5k
A/N: it was so weird to write this as i usually write people falling in love, but this was almost the complete opposite. Reader is a Slytherin beater and i’ve kept them gender neurtal. I hope you’ll like it!
Request: can u pls do a blurb for James Potter based on the song EX by Kiana Ledé or if thats kinda too much a headcanon of how him and a slytherin quidditch beater started dating? @artemis1orion​​
based on EX by Kiana Ledé
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James drummed his fingers on the wooden table top in a non-existing beat while his eyes scanned the full Great Hall around him. Thoughts were racing through his head, leaving his mind before he had even had a chance to find their meaning. His foot was bouncing uncontrollably under the table; he couldn’t stop it.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Just a week ago everything had been fine. There had been nothing to plague James’ mind, nothing that could distract him from the game today.
As his eyes glanced over the excited students around him, James wondered where it had gone wrong. Had it been off the entire time or had something changed? Was it his fault? In all honesty, he hadn’t seen it coming—to him everything had seemed perfectly fine.
James’ eyes locked on the person he had been trying to avoid and yet find. It had only been a week, but it had felt so strange. All that had grown familiar on him was suddenly ripped from his life.
You were seated at the Slytherin table in your quidditch uniform, the green and silver clashing with James’ red and golden one. In your hand was a cup with steaming hot tea. Probably green tea, James figured, the only one he didn’t like. You laughed and your nose scrunched up a little. Even from so far away James could hear your chortle, or he imagined it.
It had seemed like such an odd couple, the Slytherin and the Gryffindor. The green beater and the red chaser. Silver and gold. Never in his whole life, James had thought that he would fall for a person from the house he had sworn to be his enemy on the moment he stepped foot in Hogwarts.
But nothing had stopped him. He had fallen fast and hard, so afraid that he would hit the ground and shatter. You had brought feelings up in him that he hadn’t felt before, feelings that he was terrified of.
After a month of careful flirting and awkward situations, you kissed him. Without any warning you had pressed your lips on James’, that typical laugh of you still echoing in his ears as he answered your kiss by entangling his fingers in your hair.
Happy and merry had started in that moment and they hadn’t left James for a long time. Wherever he went, you were there supporting him; if not physical then mentally. There was an imprint of you in James’ mind. The sound of your voice was nestled in every corner of his brain and now he tried to fight it.
Because you weren’t his anymore. He wasn’t yours.
You had said that you had seen it coming from afar, like a dark cloud of thunder in the blue sky on a summer’s day. Fog had formed around the two of you, hiding one from the other. So with little words and meaningless promises an end had been put to the ‘us’.
But that end wasn’t as easy as James had thought it to be. For so long you had been there with him, that life without you seemed dull. The sun was never shining and rain always threatened to fall. However, James couldn’t ask you to come back. He didn’t even want that, that he was sure of. Time with you had been great, but you were his ex now and he had no intention to change that.
‘You nervous?’ Sirius asked as he slumped down on the wooden bench next to him, ripping James’ attention away from you.
‘Nah,’ James lied while his stomach made a turn as he tried to take a bite from his breakfast. His gaze wandered off to the Slytherin table again and he left his fork untouched on the side of his plate. Sirius seemed to notice who his friend was looking at and he sighed as he moved a little closer to James, so no one would hear them.
‘Just talk to them, if you want so bad. You don’t have to get back together or anything, but just talk,’ Sirius said, receiving a huff from James.
‘Why would I talk to them? They broke up with me,’ James said as he ripped his gaze from you and turned to Sirius.
‘Yeah, but didn’t you promise you’d still be friends?’ Sirius pointed out, as he nonchalantly played with his pumpkin juice while eyeing James.
James barked a short humourless laugh and shook his head. ‘Of course I said that—that’s what everyone says when they’re breaking up!’
‘So you’re just never gonna…?’
‘No, I really don’t see the point,’ James shrugged and he returned to his breakfast.
‘That’s too bad,’ Sirius muttered, while he waved at Remus and Peter, who just entered the Great Hall to wish James luck before the game. ‘They were neat.’
James grumbled something and his eyes found your figure back. His conversation with Sirius had made him think. He had indeed promised you to stay friends, but you sure knew that that was just something he had said to make the situation a little less uncomfortable. Surely, you didn’t actually expect him to be friends after you had broken up?
Tearing his stare from you, James focused on his friends instead. Peter was rummaging through his bag to find something and Remus was calmly trying to eat his breakfast while Sirius kept tormenting him with pleads for help on the History of Magic essay. It took five minutes and the promise that Sirius would leave him be for the rest of the day for Remus to give in and Sirius was smirking as he dramatically threw his arms around Remus’ neck and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
‘Alright, alright,’ Remus mumbled, pushing Sirius away. ‘Now bugger off and let me eat my breakfast.’
Sirius let go of Remus and turned to James, who had till thus far been watching his friends with a faint smile on his lips. Sirius asked something about the strategy James had come up with to win this game from the Slytherins and as James dove with his pre-game nerves into a rant about how his beater had to clear the way for the chasers, Sirius’ eyes shifted to a spot above James’ shoulder. By the time James had realised it was too late for him to get out of the situation and he heard your enthusiastic voice.
‘Hey guys, what’s up?’ you said as you stood behind James, who kept his face at his plate. There was an awkward second as the three others looked from you at James and back, but Remus was quick to dismiss James’ distant behaviour and he smiled at you.
‘Not much here. Nervous for the game?’
James didn’t need to see your face to know exactly how you were feeling. He had been by your side for so many games. He knew that you were in fact nervous but would never admit it to anyone. Instead you would laugh everything away and pretend you were super excited.
‘No, not really. We’ve had a lot of practice this season. And having spent so much time with James I know exactly what his team will do,’ you chuckled.
The boys laughed softly and another silence followed in which you got called by your teammates. James dared to turn his head a little to look at them and felt some sort of anger towards them, even though his logic told him that they had done nothing wrong.
‘Well, I should go,’ you said and it was silent as James felt all eyes on him. But he didn’t react and he heard a little sigh from you. ‘I’ll see you around.’
Remus and Sirius waved after you and Peter wished you good luck, while you ran after the other Slytherins out of the Great Hall. James watched as you disappeared, glancing once over your shoulder back at the boys. When your eyes met his, you raised your eyebrows at him, but he averted his eyes.
‘Well, that was rude,’ Remus said, looking past Sirius to James. ‘Why did you ignore them?’
‘Because we broke up! Do I have to explain it to everyone? They’re my ex, why should I be friends with them?’  
-- - --
The quidditch stadium filled with students, as you waited in the changing room with the rest of your team. For some reason you felt more nervous for this game than you had ever been for any other game. It felt like more was at stake than just the quidditch cup this time.
You were hurt by James’ sudden cold demeanour towards you. Hadn’t you agreed to stay friends?
The time you had been with James had been amazing, but after a while you had realised that it was going nowhere. It felt like the relationship wasn’t moving forward anymore, you were stuck in the same place and that had started to grow uncomfortable on you. If you weren’t dating to go somewhere, you were dating for heartbreak and to spare the both of you pain you had called an end to it.
You had thought that it was a mutual decision, but James had been avoiding you all week and now you were doubting. Maybe he was more hurt than you thought he was or maybe he just didn’t care for you now you weren’t dating anymore.
That last one hurt but you feared that it was the true one. James wasn’t interested in just the platonic side of you. But you wouldn’t give up that easily. You still had Sirius, Remus and Peter as friends and surely James would come around after a while.
As the sounds of the students in the stands got louder, your teammates got a little more restless. Your team captain, Lucinda Talkalot, stood up and she paced up and down in the room, silently repeating her strategy.
‘Just… make sure we win, okay?’ Lucinda said and she stopped walking to look at everyone shortly. ‘We can’t lose from Gryffindor again.’
Next to you, the other Beater of your team, Michael Bennett, hummed in agreement, undoubtedly thinking back of the last time Gryffindor played against Slytherin and your team lost with a pathetic difference of two hundred points, because Michael was just a second too late with his Bludger. No one in the team blamed him for it, but he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.
The Slytherin quidditch team existed of two girls and four boys besides you. Captain of your team was Talkalot, a sixth year. She was the team’s Keeper. The three Chasers were Javier Flores, Nerida Cooper and Rohan Alves. Nerida was in your year; Javier and Rohan were both fourth years. You and Michael were the Beaters of the team and Kevin Fox, only a second year, was Seeker.
While other houses laughed at Lucinda’s choice for Fox as the Seeker, she believed he was exactly what the team had needed after the last team captain had graduated and left the team lost. And she had been right, so far Slytherin had won from Hufflepuff after an astonishing short game in which Fox caught the Snitch within fifteen minutes.
The stadium full of students silenced slowly and at the sound of madam Hooch’s whistle, the quidditch team left the changing room. In a line you walked onto the green grass of the quidditch stadium and stood and turned towards the Gryffindor team.
You stood in front of the Gryffindor’s Beater, Cillian Martin, a short seventh year with ash blond hair, but you looked at James who stood opposite of Talkalot. Even from far away where you were standing you could feel the determination radiate from James and you realised that this would be a difficult game.
The Gryffindor team was just as your own team very skilled. You hated to admit it, but James had done a great job putting his team together. Idris Smith, the Keeper, had been in his position since his second year and it was almost impossible to get any balls past him. His sister, Abby Smith, was Chaser along with Crawford and James himself. The two Beaters, Martin and Trevino, were actually quite pleasant guys and always in for a friendly game if you asked them—you and Michael had had some fun times practising with them. Gryffindor’s Seeker was Hana Viotto, a sweet girl who wasn’t afraid to completely demolish you on the quidditch pit.
‘Shake hands,’ Hooch said and Lucinda gave James a short handshake and a nod while he stared coldly at her.
You looked away from the two team captains and nodded politely at Martin before you swung your leg over your broom. The stadium around you was completely silent for a moment and you wiggled your eyebrows at Nerida, who giggled softly. Madam Hooch blew her whistle and the game started.
Pushing your broom off the ground you lifted in the air, your bat loosely in your hand as you looked around at the field. Immediately you recognised James’ setup, with two Chasers at the Slytherin side of the field and his Seeker high in the sky, scanning the field from above.
‘And the game is on!’ the commentator screamed through the quidditch pit. ‘The Quaffle is in hands of Slytherin, they’re off to a great start! Cooper has it in hands, throws it at Alves. Alves catches—owh, that must hurt!’
You looked over your shoulder at Alves, who was gasping for air and reaching for his stomach, dropping the Quaffle that got caught by Gryffindor’s Chaser, Smith. Behind you, you heard a snigger from Trevino and when you looked angry at him, he shrugged.
‘Captain’s orders,’ he said as he flew past you.
‘Gryffindor still has the Quaffle, but Smith’s being chased by a Bludger! Dive, girl, dive!’
You quickly flew to the other side of the field, zigzagging through the other players and turned around with your bat ready for action. Just as you had predicted a Bludger was flying your way. Throwing all your weight behind your swing, you hit the Bludger and sent it towards Smith, who still was in the possession of the ball. The Bludger didn’t hit her, but did force her to move away, giving Cooper and Flores a chance to catch up with her.
‘Nice job!’ Lucinda yelled at you from her position at the goal posts. You shot her a thumbs-up and flew to the middle of the field, trying to send as many Bludgers as you could towards your opponents.
‘Gryffindor has lost the ball! Potter makes an attempt to get the Quaffle from Flores and, well surely that must be a foul. We look at the referee and… yes, one penalty for Slytherin!’
Nerida took the ball back from James, who was starting to looked more cross with the minute, and flew to the central circle, waiting for madam Hooch’s whistle. At the high-pitched sound, Nerida stormed forwards and threw the Quaffle in the left goal, unleashing loud cheering from the Slytherins in the stands.
‘And we’re back to the game. It is a constant battle for possession. Bludgers are flying around, knocking people off their brooms. Smith saves! Crawford has the Quaffle, he gets hit by Y/L/N’s Bludger, Flores has the ball, Alves, Cooper, back to Alves, Flores again! That’s some nice team play from the Slytherins! Must be Talkalot’s new strategy. Quaffle is in the Gryffindor scoring area, Flores shoots and… he scores! It’s now twenty to zero for Slytherin, but we’ve only just started…’
The longer the game lasted, the more intense everyone got. Gryffindor made another two fouls, but so did your team. Twenty minutes and three penalties later, the score was 60 to 50 for the Slytherins, but where you were getting more tired, it seemed like the Gryffindors were gaining energy.
After half an hour of violently flying back and forth the quidditch pit, Lucinda called for a time-out. Hooch accepted and her whistle stopped the match for a minute.
‘They’re good,’ Rohan panted as you were huddled together at the goal posts.
‘They are indeed,’ Lucinda said and she shot a suspicious look towards the other team.
‘Potter must have given them a motivational speech or something,’ Nerida mumbled as she wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. You looked at James and the angry expression on his face. Something told you that he ignoring you this morning had something to do with the way he was scanning the quidditch field right now.
‘Kevin, it is crucial that you find the Snitch,’ Lucinda said. ‘I don’t know how much longer we can hold it.’
‘I’m trying,’ Kevin sighed and his eyes glanced quickly over the pit.
Madam Hooch whistled again and the game started again. The short time-out had given you some time to catch your breath and you were filled with energy and determination as you flew back to your position in the middle of the field, ready to hit whatever was coming your way.
The next fifteen minutes were filled with bat sweeping and Quaffle and Bludgers flying closely past your head. Twice you had to dive away to not get hit and once you were nearly knocked over by Crawford, as they tried to escape the Quaffle coming their way.
‘It’s currently 90 to 80 for Gryffindor and we’re forty-five minutes into the match! Smith has the ball, she’s making her way to Talkalot, throws, but oh! Talkalot blocks it with her foot. Pure luck or good skill? The Quaffle is back in the centre in hands of Alves. Bennett sends a Bludger to keep Potter away but he misses and almost knocks his own teammate off their broom! Alves is getting closer to the goal posts, will this be 90 to 90? He shoots and… Smith can’t hold it! It’s tied again! Surely the Seekers must have caught a glimpse of the Snitch by now.’
Yet it took another ten minutes before one of the Seekers finally made a move and by that time it was 130 to 120 for Slytherin. Viotto suddenly dove to the ground and Kevin quickly went after her. The game stocked for a minute as everyone held their breath. Viotto and Fox were battling for a head position in the race after the Snitch.
You held your broom still in the sky and squeezed your eyes to look at Kevin’s little figure. Whispering encouraging words, you focused on the two Seekers, forgetting that there was another game going on around you. The Quaffle lay in Flores’ hands motionless, but the Bludgers were still flying around.
‘Y/N! Watch out!’ Michael screamed at you.
A Bludger was coming at you with incredible speed and your only chance to escape it was to throw your broom to the side, nearly colliding with James, who happened to be right in that spot. You sighed relieved at escaping the Bludger and possibly a night at the infirmary, but your relieve soon disappeared.
‘Gryffindor catches the Snitch! Gryffindor has won! With 270 points to a mere 130 from the Slytherins, the Gryffindor team has won!’
The Gryffindors on the stands erupted in loud cheering, while the Slytherins groaned collectively. You understood their disappointment; not only had Slytherin lost from Gryffindor again, they had lost with a difference of 140 points and that wouldn’t do well on the leader board.
You turned to James, who now had a big smile on his face, and wanted to congratulate him, but when he looked at you, he quickly flew away. With an open mouth you watched after him and felt the pain combined with the sadness of losing spreading through your body.
Defeated in all ways, you followed your team to the changing rooms and prepared for a night of silence in the Slytherin common room.
-- - --
Loud laughter echoed off the walls of the lavatories on the ground floor as James and Peter watched Sirius trying to climb out of the stall they had locked him in. It was almost after curfew, but Sirius had insisted they’d go past the bathroom on their way to the common room. Now wasn’t it really a problem to wander the halls after curfew, but to not do something to Sirius felt like a missed opportunity to James.
‘Just let me out, you idiots,’ Sirius whined.
‘I don’t know, should we, Wormtail?’
Peter, however, was too busy laughing to answer James. Sirius tried again to climb over the door of the stall, but his feet slipped and with a sigh he landed back on the floor.
James, out of fear that Peter would wet himself if he laughed any more, unlocked the door with a flick of his wand. ‘Alright, alright, come out then.’
Sirius’ face stood thunder as he walked out of the stall and he stared at James angrily through the mirror as he washed his hands. James stared back at him with a smirk on his face and slung his arm around his friend’s shoulder as they walked out of the restrooms. Peter followed after them, wiping the tears from his cheeks with the sleeves of his jumper.
The castle was quite silent at this time at night with most students up in the common rooms and the teachers not yet checking the halls after curfew. The windows were fogged from the cold outside and James stopped to write his name on the glass.
The three boys were turned to the window, watching James write his name and other things that definitely should not be on a harmless pane of glass. Upon hearing footsteps in the same corridor, they turned around as one.
You were walking down the corridor with your broomstick in your hand, head to toe wet and muddy. You snickered softly at the scared expressions on the three boys’ faces and nodded towards the window. ‘Do I want to know?’
Sirius grinned and shook his head, slowly reaching behind James to wipe out the texts on the window. Peter had a giddy smile on his face and he nudged James, but this one was focused on you.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked, ignoring his friends.
You raised an eyebrow and looked down at your clothes. ‘Really, the broom and dirty clothes don’t say enough?’
James scowled and he felt a hint of anger coming up in his body at your sarcasm. Sirius noticed his change and nudged James lightly. ‘James—’
‘I mean what are you doing here, in this corridor? Isn’t your common room on the other side of the school?’
You shifted your weight onto your broom and nodded. ‘It is,’ you said drily. ‘And why I am here is none of your business. Especially with that attitude.’
Peter chuckled and James shot him an annoyed look, making him shut right up. James was growing more irked with the minute. He just couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t take the hint and leave him alone. He thought he made it very clear that he didn’t want to see you anymore.
Yet here you were again, seeking him out. Just like you did yesterday before Potions class and last weekend after the Quidditch match. James was getting tired of having to ignore you, but he knew that that was for the best. You were his ex after all.
‘Fine, I don’t care,’ James said and he turned around to leave you alone. Peter and Sirius ran after him, but not before mumbling something to you James couldn’t hear.
Sirius walked up next to James. ‘You were rude again, mate.’
‘I don’t get why they won’t leave me alone,’ James huffed and he quickened his pace so he walked ahead of his two friends.
Sirius rolled his eyes at Peter, who shrugged back, before they both followed James to the common room.
-- - --
‘Sorry I’m late.’
Remus looked up from his book and waved your excuse away lazily as he made some space for you at the table. He pushed aside his book and stacked the pieces of parchment away.
You took your edition of A History of Magic out and dropped the heavy book on the table. Scanning Remus’ book for the right page you started to browse through your own book for the same page. At the chapter on the Salem Witch Trails you stopped. It was a subject you had had in class before but, with the grade of your essay on the subject in mind, you knew that it wouldn’t hurt to revise.
‘Okay, hit me,’ you said and smiled at Remus. He cocked his eyebrow incredulous but started anyway.
‘Right, what year?’
‘1962.’
‘Where?’
‘Massachusetts.’
‘What about the judges?’
‘Mostly Puritans, but there were at least two Scourers, who were there just for personal gain.’
‘How many victims?’
‘Twenty.’
‘Do you still have feelings for James?’
‘Do I—Remus!’
You looked up from your book in shock and stared at the boy next to you, who was looking smug with the execution of his plan. He had a smirk on his face and you wished you could slap the satisfied look off his face.
‘Is that why I’m here? Just so you could interrogate me?’ you asked, leaning back in your chair and staring at Remus. ‘Remus Lupin, you little shit!’
Remus let out a laugh and shook his head, though he made sure he was out of your reach. ‘No, I really did want to study with you! But when the guys found out they wanted me to ask.’
‘You’re weak, Remus,’ you tutted and pushed him against his shoulder.
‘I know, I know,’ he said, holding his hands up in surrender. ‘But if I’m honest, I was curious myself too.’
You sighed and rubbed your hands over your face. The answer to Remus’ question was simple. No. You didn’t still have feelings for James. However, what more intrigued you was the implication behind the question. Did they think you were still in love with James? Because if so, you definitely had to set something straight.
‘Well, you can tell your friends that no, I don’t have feelings for James anymore,’ you sighed, hoping that Remus would believe you. ‘Now are you done with your cross-examination? Because I’d like to finish before dinner.’
‘Sure, sure,’ Remus chuckled, bowing over his book again. ‘Wizards’ Council, ask me.’
Quickly you searched in your history book for the chapter about the Wizards’ Council. The title sprung out on page 89 and you scanned the text shortly to come up with some questions for Remus.
‘Ready? What was the Council’s main focus?’
‘Governing the Britain wizarding society.’
‘That’s right. Name some Chiefs.’
‘Bragge and Muldoon.’
‘What can you tell me about Elfrida Clagg?’
‘She was presumably the Chieftainess in the seventeenth century. Known for trying to import the Beings versus Beasts classifications, what led to an uprising from Trolls, Jarveys and Centaurs.’
‘Right. Okay, last one—why is James avoiding me?’
Remus opened his mouth and then closed it again. He sighed and closed his eyes, before turning to you. He was searching for words and you gave him time, wanting to know the answer to the question that had been bothering you for a while now.
It was more than obvious to you that James was avoiding you. Whenever you were around he made sure to be the first one to leave, he never really answered any of your questions and most of the time he just ignored your presence. Clearly, “staying friends” had a different meaning to him than it had to you.
Not only were you losing James’ friendship, along with that you also lost the connections with Peter, Sirius and Remus. You had gone from seeing them every day to only once a week if you were lucky. You didn’t blame them, because you knew they were better friends with James than with you. Yet you knew it would not hurt him if you saw your friends a little more.
‘He’s not—’ Remus started, but you cut him off.
‘Don’t do that, Remus. I know he is avoiding me. I am not asking you to change it; I just want to know why.’
Remus rubbed his face and pinched the bridge of his nose before he answered. ‘He is convinced that it is impossible to be friends with one’s ex.’
‘But that’s what we had agreed!’ you sputtered. ‘We didn’t work as a couple, so we decided on being friends!’
‘Well, to James that is something everyone says but never lives up to.’
‘That’s bullshit,’ you said and threw your head back, letting a cold laugh pass your lips. ‘So what? Is he just going to ignore me for the rest of his life?’
‘I don’t know,’ Remus mumbled. ‘We’ve really tried to change his mind, really. But nothing we say convinces him. He won’t listen to us.’
You shook your head and stared at your book. So this was the end of you and James? Just like that? Did you really mean that little to him? Now that you were just his friend, you were suddenly not important anymore?
You felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over your head. Your inside now twisted at the thought of James and the memories you had made with him. Some part of you felt used at your sudden unimportance to James and you wished you were curled up in bed under layers of blankets.
However, you would stay strong. If James didn’t want to be your friend you would leave him alone. But you would not allow him ripping your friends away too. You wouldn’t stop seeing Remus, Sirius and Peter just because James didn’t want to be friends.
-- - --
Dark clouds had gathered in the sky, far away rumbling with thunder. A strong breeze forced most students to stay inside for the night, but you had braved the cold and were standing at the edge of the quidditch field with your broom in your hand. The wind blew sharply against your cheeks, but you had dressed warm enough.
High up in the sky the wind howled around your ears, drowning out your thoughts. You had released one of the training-Bludgers that was soaring through the air, coming right for you. With one deep breath and full power you hit the Bludger, the flat sound of your bat against the ball echoing on the empty stands.
It was nice to not think and just train for a moment. Right now there was no one whining at your head for your answers on the Charms homework, no one asking you to play a game with you and no one inquiring after what had happened between you and James.
You hadn’t seen James in two weeks, just like he had wanted. It was weird to suddenly not be around him anymore. For so long you had shared all your free time with him and now instead you were alone in those moments. Not his laughter, not his jokes.
You would be lying if you said that you didn’t miss him. It was always fun to be around James, he had a special way to make everything positive. After all this time you still didn’t know how he did it, but he had always cheered you up when you were feeling down. Sometimes just his presence had been enough.
A tear escaped from your eye, but whether it was from the wind or your thoughts you didn’t know. You wiped it away swiftly and braced yourself to hit the Bludger again. It was flying in big circles around you, coming closer with every round it made.
Movement down on the ground caught your attention and you tore your eyes from the Bludger. Someone was standing down on the field, a broom in their hand and a mop of black hair sticking out to all sides. It was James.
For someone who had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to see you, he sure had some nerve coming to you. You felt your blood boil upon seeing him and more violent than you had first thought you slammed the Bludger away. It flew back into the stands, where it broke one of the benches.
James was still standing on the ground, not making any move to get up in the sky. As you got back the ball you looked at him from the corner of your eye. So far from above, he looked smaller than he had ever seen. He looked… lost.
Grudgingly you flew down to the ground and jumped off your broom in front of James. Now you were closer to him, he was his big self again, but he still looked a little lost.
‘There was no practice today, right?’ you asked, suddenly wondering if he was here because he wanted to train with the Gryffindor team.
‘No,’ James said and he almost attempted to say more, but shut his mouth.
‘So you’re just here to practise alone?’
‘Uhh, yeah, I guess.’
‘And it wouldn’t bother you if I’m here too?’ you asked, your tone somewhat sharper than intended.
James shook his head and headed off to the chest with balls and other gear. You mounted your broom and let the struggling Bludger free. It flew away quickly before already starting to make its way back to you.
For minutes it was silent as both you and James practised alone. You were outing all your frustration on the Bludger and it seemed that it was holding a grudge against you for the hard hits you gave it because it kept coming back harder and harder. James was stationed at the goalposts, working on some of his new tactics. You could feel his occasional glance in your way, but you ignored them.
After some time, you descended to the ground to drink some and watched as James was struggling with the Quaffle and his wand. He obviously wanted to charm them to fly towards him as he guarded the goals. You laughed to yourself as the ball once again fell to the ground lifeless, but after a few minutes you got on your broom again and flew towards James.
‘Not that it isn’t fun to watch, but would you like some help?’  you asked carefully.
James looked from the Quaffle in his hand to the goalposts and then to you. You could hear the cogs working in his brain as he thought of what to do, but eventually he gave you a single nod and threw the Quaffle at you.
Although your position in the quidditch team was Beater, you wouldn’t say that you were bad at the other positions. Maybe it was just the feel of the ball that you had and not an actual position that you were best in, though you had trained many years to become the Beater you were today.
You started to torment James with difficult throws, making him work up a sweat. At first your aims were just to make it hard for him, but gradually you actually enjoyed playing with James. And, much to your surprise, the feeling was mutual. After half an hour there was a smile on James’ face and you recognised so much of the boy you had fallen for.
After yet another difficult ball that James only barely held, instead of throwing the Quaffle back at you he flew towards you. His smile faltered a little now he was closer to you, but that didn’t stop him from asking you if you wanted to change positions.
‘Alright, but I must tell you, I’ve gotten much better,’ you warned him with a grin and flew to the goals.
‘I doubt that,’ James shouted and he threw the ball from one hand to another. ‘You suck as Keeper!’
‘Ah! I’ll make you regret saying that, Mr. Potter!’
For a while everything was how it had used to be. There was no hurt between you and James anymore. It was just two friends playing a game together, both growing more and more competitive with every throw.
Half an hour you went on playing until it had gotten too dark to throw without chance of harm. You and James stuck away the Quaffle in silence—the easiness that had been there during the game had completely vanished. Awkwardness was creeping up your skin and you longed for something to break the silence.
As James locked the Bludger in the chest, it gave one last shudder and James let out a high-pitched yell. He fell to his feet and you burst out in laughter, clasping your hand over your mouth. From his place on the floor, James scowled dramatically at you and he attempted to hit your shin.
‘Don’t laugh!’ he cried out. ‘You scared too!’
‘Yeah, but I didn’t fall to the floor,’ you chuckled, offering James your hand. He took it and pulled himself up. Cleaning his pants, he sighed and then closed the chest with quidditch balls. Another silence filled the space between you and James. However, this time you knew exactly what to say; you just weren’t sure if you wanted to say it.
A light flash lit up the dark skies for a fraction of a second and three seconds later loud thunder roared over the silent school grounds. James and you were pulled from the tension as the first raindrops started to fall. Little drops fell on the top of your head and on your shoulders, soaking through your jumper. It was now or never.
‘Why can’t we have this?’ you asked hoarsely.
‘Rain? I think it rains more than enough,’ James joked, avoiding your eyes.
‘James, you know what I mean,’ you said, stepping a little closer. ‘Why can’t we just be friends? Why can’t we have fun, no strings attached?’
When he looked up to you, you could read the pain in his eyes. Even when you were dating, James had almost never been vulnerable. He always hid behind a smile and a joke and it was rare to see him like this.
‘Because you hurt me,’ James muttered. ‘One day you decide to end it. Just like that. You stepped away from me without any warning. I loved you and suddenly you were just gone.’
‘Do you still?’ you breathed.
James cleared his throat and shook his head. ‘No, I don’t. Not like I used to anymore.’
‘Isn’t it better then?’ you asked. ‘Can’t we try being friends? I miss you James. I miss being friends with you.’
‘I miss you too,’ James said and sniffed.
You cocked an eyebrow and smiled carefully. ‘Did I make the mighty James Potter cry? Did I break the unbreakable one?’
‘All I heard was that you think I’m mighty,’ James said.
You laughed and pushed him away. James bellowed a laugh and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. The rain was still pouring down and you were soaked from head to toe, but you didn’t care because you got your friend back.
- - - - - - - - 
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loverboyromanroy · 3 years
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girl, i'll be honest-- i really don't care much about the business side of Succession (lol the irony) I only live for the drama, but I'm really interested to see how our queen Gerri (and Karl, Frank, Logan too) will fit in the new dynamics of this GoJo merger (?? not sure what the correct term is) Like, I'm not even sure if Gerri was demoted back to general counsel or still interim CEO at the end?? Mattsson might bring in new faces and the kids are basically fucked on the side so...
also, kind of excited to see Lukas and Gerri interacting, not gonna lie. More Gerri content for us to devour pls :<
i think...that's very fair lmao because the business stuff can be very in the weeds! but unfortunately i was a business major (sorry!) so i do genuinely enjoy the maneuvers of the business side of the show
that being said, i've been contemplating the business aspect of the end of season 3 and am curious about where they'll pick up in season 4...read more because of course i wrote too much 🥴
will we walk through the whole deal going down or are we going to have a time jump to the company being fully acquired with a brand new corporate hierarchy? we spent SO much time on the attempted stewy/sandy buyout (which was obviously because they were contesting and fighting off doj, etc, etc) so i feel like they'll have to show SOME of the deal-making...but then again that was hostile and this one isn't, and the switch was flipped so suddenly that maybe we'll just open season four with no more waystar lmao
technically gerri is still interim ceo at the end of season 3 and lukas is buying them to stay on as ceo, so in my mind she steps back into a general counsel role (especially because she's presumably part of the legal team facilitating the deal). i think in a practical sense they could/would offload karl, frank and maaaybe shiv...BUT i also think there's a possibility lukas keeps roman on in some capacity, even if logan doesn't ask him too, ya know? we've seen that lukas and roman get along and that lukas was amenable to roman staying on...when he's making the pitch to logan in 3x09 he literally says roman would be the face of the waystar part of things as they integrated the two companies! i think that got lost in the 3x09 finale scene because roman threw himself behind his siblings but like...lukas wasn't a part of that, so...
the flip side of that, of course, is that maybe lukas was bullshitting and he'll kick roman to the curb with everyone else...or maybe logan orchestrates it so that both of his kids get dumped but...i don't know, i feel like there's potential there for him to stay in.
speaking of logan...i think tom selling out the kids was such an interesting choice because like...logan's getting bought out! why curry favor with someone who's literally in the process of walking out the door! maybe logan is angling to stay on as chairman of the board, which would put him and lukas on similar levels...in the pitch scene lukas offers to keep the board balanced and says logan can stay on for the "assets" he likes, so maybe he's chair and heads up waystar media or some such? the guy's fucking 80, he really shouldn't come back in at all, but alas, we know he won't step aside fully, so he's gotta get folded in somehow and i guess he's gotta bring tom in with him?
i will say that at first i didn't love the stunt guest casting (i felt like adrien brody and sanaa lathan were oversold and ended up being characters that were just flash in the pan), but i LOVED what skarsgard did with matsson and i am very much looking forward to him being a bigger presence in season 4
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RNM Season 4 Episodes 3-4
Thoughts, and complaints about episodes three and four of Roswell New Mexico Season Four.  I have a lot of complaints, despite enjoying a fair amount of these two episodes.  Those complaints mainly surround how they handled Anasta and Isobel’s relationship, Mimi’s death, Maria’s plotline and characterization choices, and Roswell New Mexico’s inability to tell a kidnapping plot right. But first…
Group scenes, my beloved.  Honestly, words cannot express how much I love finally seeing large group scenes in this show!  Our found family is finally learning to actually communicate.  *sniff*
Dallas is trying to steal the show.  That is what I have decided.  Seriously, I am continuing to adore him as the calm voice of reason in the group.  (And his scene with Graham Greene and a suffering Michael was just hilarious and perfect!) I do find myself missing Heath, though.  His and Dallas’ friendship was a cornerstone of s3, and its absence feels notable to me.  
I knew it was coming, but I have to say I am once again disappointed in the handling of side characters and temporary romances in the show.  Isobel and Anatsa had some great chemistry, and Anatsa had definite potential to just continue on as a member of the cast past her and Isobel’s relationship. But instead, they only kept her around as a romantic foil to keep Isobel from getting together with Kyle “too soon”.  Despite some sweet scenes together, the relationship is constantly undermined by showing how Isobel keeps turning towards Kyle for support and connection.  Other times, it’s the rest of the Pod Squad & Co that are truly there for her as things begin to happen involving the other aliens, because Isobel is avoiding telling her the truth so can’t seek support from her.
I don’t approve of the writing having Isobel say she loves Anatsa, because of her previous relationship with Noah.  While she may now know everything about their relationship was a lie, she spent years thinking she had to keep secrets from him.  Those feelings, that stress, that need to hide a piece of herself - those things she experienced regardless of whether Noah knew the whole time or not.  His lies do not invalidate her experience.  So, no, I don’t think she could ever say “I love you” to someone she hasn���t told the truth to.  Or accept an “I love you” from someone without it either.  She’s been down that road, and she knows how unhappy it makes her.
And honestly?  A brief period of relationship struggles and Anatsa runs for the hills?  After saying she loved her?  That really does not reflect well on her character at all.  And it feels very much like the writing taking an easy out to make way for Kyle and Isobel to get together.  Even the “danger” of Anatsa investigating the bank robberies was just kind of brushed aside as soon as their relationship reached its end.  Another perfectly good side character falling prey to the downgrade to romantic foil.  Not to mention the only canon w/w ship we got.  This is why I hate temporary romances.  They just never feel worth getting attached to, because they rarely have a satisfying ending.  Am I looking forward to Kybel?  Yes, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t have had this end a dozen other different ways - including keeping Anatsa around.
I am loving all the alien backstory, and the slow build towards the final reveal of what’s happening. (Jones return?  Yes?  Pls?) Having Michael go undercover with them?  I am digging that, to be honest. (His excitement in getting to see his homeplanet for the first time and try food from it was so cute.) The new powers? Love them. (Shapeshifter! Shapeshifter!) Bonnie is adorable. I will be very unhappy if she dies!  (I am getting Adam (Roswell High) vibes, and I’m scared for her!)  Don’t die, Bonnie!
Okay.  Mimi’s death is some serious BS.  It was unnecessary for the plot, because Mimi’s condition already makes it hard to get information out of her. (ie: See her and Alex’s conversation in s1, followed by Isobel’s attempt to go into her mind and communicate with her in s2.)  So there wasn’t a need to kill her to make her unable to communicate what they needed after giving a single piece of information.  She’s been doing that from the start! They had so much potential with Mimi’s story in s1, and then they just didn’t bother to invest time in it before deciding to kill her for the angst of it and no other reason.  Not to mention, we were introduced to her in s1 as pretty much being of equal importance to Liz, Rosa, and Alex as she was to Maria.  Yet, they barely show Liz grieving for her, relegating it to basically one line and then having Liz focused on Maria’s grief.  Yes, it was Maria’s mother by blood - but a big part of RNM is about found family.  Mimi was a surrogate mother to all three of them, and to downplay their grief simply because they weren’t “related by blood”?  To not bring in Rosa; to have her death occur while Alex is away?  To have Isobel more affected when they haven’t given us more than one scene with them together - which honestly was a huge shame.  What sort of choices are those?
Which brings me to Maria.  And I am honestly just so confused by her obsession with her powers.  I have honestly been confused about that being such a big part of her character since it started in season two.  I don’t understand her motivations. Especially when she keeps taking risks that are bordering on self-harm?  Why are her powers that important to her?  Back in season one and early season two I wrote a lot of meta about how I felt loneliness was a huge motivating factor for her character.  I felt that because they did not create any side characters to be a close current friend of hers during the ten-year-gap, nor chose to show any of the characters who were in Roswell during that period as having a close friendship with her, she was supposed to have spent a fair amount of the ten years alone with nobody to rely on.  Which is an incredibly lonely way to spend ten years of time.  And I think that still might be part of her character motivation, but the problem is that it’s never been properly addressed.
They spent two seasons developing her friendship with Isobel, but because they want to focus all of Isobel’s attention on the love triangle this season, they don’t have Maria go to her about her powers.  Which doesn’t make sense after spending so much time building their friendship, especially when Isobel was who first encouraged her to explore her powers back in s2.  They spent a whole arc last season supposedly proving to her that people cared - Rosa and Isobel risked their lives to save her from Jones.  So why are we basically recycling the same plot of her feeling isolated and obsessing over her powers to compensate?  They’re wasting their final chance to give her a worthy plot arc on just a variation of the plot she had last season.
Speaking of recycling plots - they really need to stop trying to do kidnapping plots because they are just not good at them - something I wrote about before.
We are given an excuse of why Alex would be out of contact, and they send Michael off with Bonnie and Clyde to keep him busy, plus throw in Clyde breaking his phone - so there are reasons for why his kidnapping is currently unnoted.  Which, admittedly, is a bit better than they did previously with kidnapping plots.  Especially when you consider it actually hasn’t been that long in show, despite it being two episodes.  I’m pretty sure it’s been a week at most?  RNM has a bit of a pacing problem - and this is one of those moments it shows.  They could have made this occur over a longer period of time.  The group could have realized Alex was missing while Michael was busy with Bonnie and Clyde.  We could have gotten their reaction first, and Michael’s later.  Instead, several episodes cover a short period - and that make it seem like Alex has been missing longer than he has.  Which leaves the audience lacking the emotional payout kidnapping plots are supposed to give you.  Namely everyone who cares for that character being allowed to react to their absence and danger.
There’s also Eduardo’s kidnapping.  And, honestly, shouldn’t the head of a shadowy agency going missing be a bigger deal?  Shouldn’t his absence be a chance to delve deeper into the inner workings of Deep Sky.  Maybe meet who would take over in his absence?  Either as a potential ally or a potential antagonist who thinks one of them might be to blame? But, once again, he actually has only been gone for a day, I think?  Hopefully these are the last kidnapping plots.  Cuz they just don’t work out for the show.
Cam remains amazing.  Yes, I’m prejudice in her favor, but I do not care.  I love having her back on my screen.  In a way, her return for a plot that involves a group who follow Jones harks a bit back to the source material.  She was a big part of their first fight with the character Jones is based off of in Roswell High, even though she wasn’t around for their final fight with him. I don’t mind the change, since it means I get to spend this season adoring her interactions.  Including her flirtation with Dallas.  I also liked her spotting the tattoo on fake Eduardo - given that it played such a big part on how she got involved in the alien mystery to begin with.  Once again - don’t die Cam!
I haven’t seen the new episode yet.  So, I probably won’t write about it until after episode six airs.
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honeycobie · 4 years
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part of the round the world tbz collab held by @ukiyoexo​ and @juyeonzz​
[teaser]
» pairing: sangyeon x reader 
» genre: fluff/angst, time travel au, historical au
» word count: 16.2k 
» a/n: uh hello...i’m back momentarily to post this fic that i put my blood, sweat and tears into and then i’m gonna disappear again :D i wrote on a google docs first and i wrote 36 pages ;;; yeah, i went overboard. anyways, hope y’all enjoy this! pls don’t flop or else i’ll cry because i spent so much time perfecting it and i’m still doubting my writing skills. goodbye for now (don’t worry, the angst isn’t that sad)!
» disclaimer:  the characters may be based on real-life historical figures but they are not real and are portrayed as needed for plot purposes. although i have done some extra research on the joseon dynasty, i do not have much knowledge on this topic so please excuse any mistakes on the history/events. 
» now playing: i swear i’ll never leave again by keshi
» round the world masterlist please please please check out all the other fics! they are all *chef’s kith* 
You step out into the sunshine, smiling brightly as you inhale deeply. “Doesn’t the air smell different here, too?” you ask, your suitcase trailing behind you. 
Your friend gives you a weird look. “Yeah, pollution,” she remarks sarcastically, sliding on a pair of sunglasses.
Ignoring her, you tilt your head to admire the bustling city of Seoul and the cloudless, vast sky. The pleasant weather felt like the city was welcoming you warmly with open arms.
“I’m so excited to visit all the tourist spots in Korea!” you exclaim, already running through the mental checklist of things you wanted to do.
“I can’t believe you made me come with you,” she begins, glancing at you grumpily. “I’m sure you could’ve survived on your own.”
“I know you’re looking forward to it too and besides there might be some cute boys around here,” you laugh, nudging her playfully in the ribs as you squint, looking around for any building that might resemble the hotel you were supposed to be staying at.
Your friend can’t help but smile at how enthusiastic you are, her mood brightening after a long flight. “Which hotel did you book?” she asks, slowing down her pace to peer at your phone.
“Four Seasons Hotel,” you respond, showing her the map. “I don’t see it though? It should be this street.” you furrow your eyebrows, confused as you try to navigate through the busy crowd of Seoul.
Groaning, she snatches your phone out of your hands, giving you a pointed look. “You’ve never been good with directions.” she chides, examining the map carefully.
Pouting, you don’t reply, turning your gaze to the towering skyscrapers and buildings of the city, the sunlight glinting off of glass, rendering it so blinding that you had to avert your eyes. The streets and sidewalk were busy, bustling with people and cars with their own destination. You take in another deep breath before your face screws up, feeling a cough rise in your throat, hacking when exhaust from the nearest car hits you. 
She was right, it did smell like pollution but there was something about Seoul, the way the city was teeming with life, swarming with both people and vehicles, making it special, different from any other big city. Time seemed to fly fast here, a blink of an eye and hours had already passed but at the same time, it slowed down when you took your time to take in your surroundings, to take a deep breath to ground yourself.
You jolt back into attention when your friend calls your name. “We should’ve made a turn on a street before. I take back my previous statement. You wouldn’t be able to survive here without me.” she grumbled, exasperation written all over her face.
Grinning, you hook your arm through hers, halting in the middle of the sidewalk. “And this is why I love you.” you coo, batting your eyelashes at her.
Shrugging off your arm, she feigns disgust, speeding up her pace so she was well ahead of you. “You can pay me back by treating me to dinner,” she calls, smiling cheekily.
You dash after her, your suitcase bumping wildly on the concrete of the sidewalk.“Wait a minute-” you start to argue with her, trying to negotiate as you know how much she could eat. That girl could eat a whole buffet if she set her mind on it. She just waves you off dismissively, ignoring your pleas as she hums to herself as if you weren’t next to her. 
»»————-  ————-««
Letting out a sigh, you shrug off your bag, flopping on the couch in your hotel room after indulging in delicious Korean cuisine. Staring at the ceiling, you shift into a comfortable position, closing your eyes as you were starting to feel sluggish, your limbs heavy and you had to fight to keep your eyes open. 
The moment you gave into the insistent pull of sleep, you were promptly interrupted by a pillow pelting  your side with a soft thump. Stretching languorously, you sit up, blinking the drowsiness away.
Sitting on the bed across from you, your friend scowls at you. “Don’t we have somewhere to go this evening? I remember you blabbering in my ear the entire time at the restaurant.”
Eyes widening, you sit up, your sleepiness vanishing in a flash. “Right! We’re visiting Gyeongbokgung Palace! It was the main imperial palace of the Joseon Dynasty.”
“You read up on it, huh?” she teases, giving you a cocky smirk.
Gasping, you place a hand on your chest, offended. “I did not! I’m just smart!” you retort. Okay, maybe you did but for the sake of your pride and dignity, a white lie wouldn’t hurt, right? 
“Just admit it, nerd.” she scoffs, jabbing you in the side. She knew you too well, seeing through the lie that only served as a flimsy barrier from the truth. 
Swatting her hand away, you stick your tongue out. “On that topic, we’ll be following a tour guide so we’ll be in a group with other tourists.” you utter, reclining back, your arms behind your head.
“What the hell? Why can’t we just explore on our own? What’s the fun in following a tour guide when we can be adventurous and spontaneous? It’s a vacation for god’s sake.” she complains, shaking her head disapprovingly.
“Being too adventurous and spontaneous can result in us getting lost. Besides, it’s not like we know our way around Seoul. We’re just tourists too.” you remind her, rolling on your stomach so you could look her in the eye.
"You just had to go in the evening. If we went in broad daylight, I bet we wouldn't get lost. Who would even go for the nighttime viewing?" she whines, burying her face in the duvet.
“It’s only for an hour or so. Just suck it up. Besides, the palace will look even more stunning at night.” you reassure, rolling your eyes at the dramatic display she was putting on.
“Fine. What time is the tour?” she queried, giving up.
“It’s at 8 pm but we can always arrive early,” you state, smiling triumphantly. “It’ll be a good opportunity to take some photos,” you add, knowing that she loves photography, 
She perks up the moment you mention photos but she swiftly erases her excitement, replacing it with a facade of indifference. “Whatever.” she huffs, turning her back on you as she scrolls through social media.
You scoff, shaking your head,  knowing that you had piqued her interest before standing up, shuffling to the bathroom to start getting ready.
»»————-  ————-««
Passing through the main gate encircling the perimeter of the palace, you slow your pace to admire the architecture. You reach out to cautiously brush your fingertips over the dark crimson doors, marvelling at how gigantic they are. 
You refrain from peeking through the arched entrance as you wanted to see the grandeur of the palace when you arrived at the foot of the steps. Brushing your hand against the rough granite of the foundation, you try to picture the king and royal officials passing through the gate.
For some reason, you were holding your breath as you passed through the archway. Your gaze drifting upwards, your jaw drops at the sight of the palace in front of you as you take in the sheer beauty of it. Although you had seen pictures of the palace online, it barely did it justice as it looked even more majestic in real life.
A wide, paved path leads up to the stairs towards the palace and you notice the elegantly sloped roofs and intricate details with lotus flowers and characters carved into the wood. The use of vibrant green and red draws your eyes and although you would expect the colours to clash, they complement each other, creating a strangely soothing effect.
The evening sky adds to the etherealness of it all, the full moon glowing, shining on the path as a crisp breeze lifts your hair, stirring it into motion. 
Your friend strolls beside you, equally in awe, her eyes sparkling with amazement as she examines the palace. "Where are we waiting for the tourist group?" she questions, both hands gripping tightly on the straps of her backpack.
You suppress a sigh at the scornful tone of her voice, bitterness dripping as she purposefully put emphasis on the two words, “tourist group”. 
“Just at the entrance of the palace,” you reply, leafing through the pamphlet that was handed out amongst the crowd that mingled around the gate. 
There was a map on the back of the brochure and your eyes sparkled as you examined it. It could give you the opportunity to slip away and admire the palace as long as you desired without fearing that you'd get lost.
You and your friend look around for the tour guide, scanning the crowd for any sight of someone who might resemble one. Spotting the tour guide carrying a sign with the name of the company, you nudge your friend before dragging her towards the group. 
Huffing, she hefts her camera, adjusting the strap. You smile giddily to yourself, skipping like a child and you banished all the negative thoughts, allowing yourself to lower your guard, to forget that you were a mere tourist travelling in a foreign city with unknown dangers. Nothing could go wrong, right?
Of course everything had to go completely wrong.
»»————-  ————-««
First, you had bumped into a fellow tourist, causing you to fall gracelessly, landing on your backside, the pamphlet fluttering into a puddle of murky water as you hastily apologized.
To your utter dismay, the ink started to fade, washed away from the water and rendered the map useless. You could hardly interpret it so you didn't bother to pick it up. You ignored your friend's snickering as you accepted her helping hand.
Well, time to say goodbye to your plans to explore on your own. 
As if pushing your luck, you were now lost. You fought down the rising panic and racked your brain, trying to come up with solutions. Even worse, your phone was dead. You swore fate hated you, always wanting to tamper with your plans.
You squeezed through the crowd, aiming for the gaps in between to slip through,  squeaking out an apology when you accidentally step on someone's foot. Squinting, you peer for any sight of your friend as you hold your bag nervously, hands squeezing the strap. 
You stop at the end of the hallway, eyes shifting from the different corridors that open up from the end of it. You rock back and forth on the balls of your feet as you contemplate, chewing on the inside of your cheek. 
Left or right?
As if answering your question, the corridor to your right glowed brighter underneath the moonlight and you gaped, rubbing at your eyes, convinced that you were seeing things. You blinked a couple of times but it only seemed to make the walls of the corridor brighten, washing the walls in shimmering tones of silver and pewter. Despite your instincts screaming at you to walk down the corridor, you were reluctant, feeling foolish to follow your gut instincts and making a decision based on it when you ought to have analyzed thoroughly. Shrugging, you started down the path, eyes drifting on the walls, reaching out to aimlessly drag your fingers against the wall, rough plaster and concrete scraping against skin as you marvel at how it practically shines underneath the moon. 
Too busy admiring the architecture, you don’t notice the steps a few steps away until your foot comes in contact with space where the floor should’ve been. Eyes widening, you find yourself tripping, letting out a gasp into the silence as you screw your eyes shut.
Red floods your vision as the pain comes. It was worse than any other injury, sharp aches throbbing in your skull as you hit your head against the concrete. You open your eyes, attempting to sit up but stop as your vision starts to swim, black dots invading your vision as your head sways, only intensifying the pain. You hiss, closing your eyes and slowly counting to ten, trying to tamp down the panic and bile that rose in your throat. 
It’s no use, the panic rising and swallowing you whole as you feel your consciousness fading. The last thing you remember is the blurry visage of the corridor brightening, causing you to squint to shield your eyes.
»»————-  ————-««
Regaining consciousness, you sit up quickly, regretting it as your vision swims, blurring everything momentarily. You close your eyes, grimacing when a dull ache throbs in the back of your head. 
Right...you had lost footing and missed several steps, slamming your head on the concrete. You sigh as the memory surfaces and you press your hand against your hand gently, screwing your face up when it feels tender and sore to the touch. 
Eyes fluttering open, you're met with an unfamiliar room. Your brow furrowing, you observe your surroundings with keen eyes.
The room was fashioned from dark oak, with sliding doors made from white paper, sheer enough to see shadows moving from outside, but still providing enough privacy. Candles flickered jovially on the low tables and judging from the absence of natural light, you guessed that it was currently nighttime. Looking down, your eyes travelled the length of the pallet you were sitting on, noting the intricate embroideries curving through it. You reached out and gingerly ran your fingers against it. Judging from the material and the delicate ornamentations, it was probably very expensive. 
“My lady…you’re awake!” 
A rejoiced voice grabs your attention and you turn slowly to meet the owner of it. A girl, around your age kneels at your bed and sets down the bucket of water, dousing a clean cloth in it. You blink in confusion, realizing that she was wearing a hanbok, the traditional clothing of historical Korea. You exhaled softly, tense shoulders relaxing as you inferred that you were in one of the residences near the palace, where you were able to rent a hanbok and experience how ancient Korea used to be. The girl gently wipes the wound on the back of your head before undoing the gauzes, replacing it with new ones. 
“My lady, you mustn’t be so reckless while riding a horse.” she scolds lightly, shaking her head. 
“E-excuse me?” 
You didn’t remember anything about a horse. Momentarily, you wondered why the girl was being so formal with you before your thoughts started to wander. Toning out the girl’s rambling, you stared emptily at the nearest candle, flickering and jumping like it had a life of its own. 
Catching a section of her sentence, you come back to your senses. “Could you repeat that, please?”
“Arranged marriage with the eldest son of King Sejong?” she repeats, brow creasing in concern. “Are you alright, my lady?”
“King Sejong?” you laughed hysterically, convinced that you had hit your head so hard that you were seeing and hearing things. “What is this? Joseon Dynasty?”
“Precisely, my lady.” she responded, concern creeping onto her features. 
“You’re awfully good at acting. Hollywood should recruit you.” you mumble, flopping back on the pallet with a groan, eyes tracing the wooden arches and pattern of the ceiling. 
“Hollywood..? I don’t think I understand, my lady.” 
Sighing, you sit back up, eyes heavy with fatigue. You were tired of arguing with her so you decided to play along. “Ok then, where am I right now?” 
“It is 1437 in Joseon, during the reign of King Sejong.”
You scoffed, disbelief written all over your face. “There’s no way.” Regardless, you stumble to your feet, ignoring the girl’s feeble attempt at stopping you. Stopping in front of the window, you eye the wooden shades before unlatching them. 
Expecting the soaring skyscrapers and buildings as well as milling groups of tourists and busy traffic in the streets, your heart almost stops when you see a rustic village, with people leading around horses, resembling nothing of Seoul. Seoul was a city of metal and glass, of advanced technology and modern inventions, yet here, the midnight sky was clear of dust and smoke and you swore you could see every star in the Milky Way.
Stout buildings made up this village, mainly made of wood and brick and the well-trodden dirt path was dimly lit by torches. It was quiet outside, with few people still wandering the streets, you assumed they were all inside, based on the amount of well-lit houses. Gradually, you realized that they were all wearing the traditional garment of historical Korea and although you frantically surveyed the landscape, your eyes scanning every single nook and cranny of the town, everything still remained unfamiliar and foreign.
Leaning forward, you feel the wind whisper its secrets in your ear. “There’s no way.” you whisper to yourself, dragging a hand down your face as you shut your eyes, hoping that this strange world would disappear, replaced by the comforting familiarity of Seoul.
It was not possible to travel back in time...right?
»»————-  ————-««
Numbly, you sit and let Eun-ji, the girl who was apparently your handmaiden, brush your hair. The wooden brush was methodically soothing against your scalp, but did nothing for your frazzled nerves. From listening to Eun-ji, you were Lady (Y/n), supposedly the daughter of a noble family in the Joseon Dynasty, about 6 centuries before your time. 
Blankly, you stare at the wall in front of you. As the only daughter of the family, you were supposed to be married off to a rich man to improve your family’s reputation and financial standing, proving how corrupt society was. 
However, your husband-to-be was the crown prince, which was a rare occurrence. You supposed that you were lucky, but you suspected that the prince was just another posh and spoiled jerk who was accustomed to the leisurely and luxurious ways of life. 
“Say...I can’t avoid the wedding right?” you chirp with false positivity, dislodging the brush from your hair as you turn around to stare at Eun-ji with hopeful eyes.
“A-absolutely not! My lady, this is unavoidable! Your father already agreed and gave out the dowry.” she stuttered, appalled at your question.
“Besides, you’re lucky to marry the crown prince! He’s really handsome, courageous and respectful. I heard a servant girl once fainted after seeing him smile at her.” Eun-ji gossips dreamily, clasping her hands together.
You shook your head. Of course the crown prince would act like that in public. How else would he work his propaganda and trick everyone into supporting him? You drift off, toning out the girl’s wistful fantasizing, anxious over the fact that you had travelled back in time, which shouldn’t be physically possible. With basically no experience or knowledge on the Joseon Dynasty, you doubted you’d be able to survive a second without getting tricked or lured into danger. Tuning back into the one-sided conversation, you manage to catch the last bit of Eun-ji’s sentence. 
“...travelling to the imperial palace tomorrow.”
Travelling to where now? 
“Everyone is so busy preparing tomorrow’s trip. We’re so excited that you’re getting married! And to royalty at that! Don’t worry, my lady, I’ll be accompanying you!” she declares, grinning sunnily at you, either purposely ignoring your apparent concern or she just didn’t notice.
You reluctantly recline back in your seat, shoulders screaming with how tense your muscles were, allowing Eun-ji to continue to brush and detangle your hair, trying to digest all the information your poor brain was just told. You wouldn’t be surprised if a war started next morning, with how bad your luck currently was. 
Closing your eyes, you channel all your strength into resisting the urge to punch a wall and let out a string of curses. Not only was it deemed un-ladylike, possibly earning you the disappointment of your parents, it could potentially draw suspicion and unwanted attention.
All you could do for now was to go along with flow and figure out an escape later, when you had milked all the answers and surprises out of Joseon.
»»————-  ————-««
You throw the windows open, frowning when you are met with the sight of ominous gray clouds gathering. It was as if the heavens themselves knew there was something wrong. You squint, trying to find any hint of the sun hidden behind the clouds, but to your dismay, it was dark and dismal, reflecting your mood. 
You wave away the maid hovering nearby, silently commanding her to give you some personal space. The moment you hear her light steps recede, you slouch, pulling a face. Today was the day you would be entering the palace, and a couple of days later, your marriage into the imperial family. 
You swallow thickly, gripping the material of your night robes nervously. You eyed the distance down from the window, wondering if you could jump down without breaking an ankle and run away from all your problems. Before you could seriously contemplate it, footsteps alert you of another’s presence and you hurriedly straighten your back, pulling your shoulders back into what you hoped was a confident and elegant poise. 
You turn around, meeting the gaze of your supposed mother. Although you felt uneasy addressing her as such, you felt comfort knowing that there was an older figure who could guide you and give advice.
“How are you feeling?” she asks quietly, standing close enough for her arm to brush against yours. You stiffen, making sure to give off an air of confidence. “I am feeling fine. After all, it is my job to bring honour to our family.” you replied, flashing a smile that weakens when she doesn’t return it, instead staring back at you with wise eyes. 
“(Y/n).” 
You tense, before giving a smile so forced, it felt like your lips were stretched too far. “Don’t worry, mother.” The word “mother” felt bitter on your tongue. It felt wrong to address this woman as your mother, even if she had similar qualities to your mom in your time.
The woman hesitated slightly before nodding curtly. “Then, you should start getting prepared.” She turned away, gesturing to the servants who were waiting with countless trays of jewelry and garments as well as combs and cosmetic products. 
Your mother’s trusted lady-in-waiting approaches you, an older woman with graying hair at her temples and lines around her eyes, tilting your chin up, frowning at your eye bags and dark circles. You offer a meek smile when she tsks, barking out orders to the waiting servants. They hustle around you, reminding you of bees buzzing busily around a blooming flower. Several girls work silently on coaxing your hair into an intricate updo while the rest observe your face and prepare the clothes and accessories. 
You sneeze when the lady-in-waiting pats powder on your face, earning another disapproving look. You slouch, letting them do whatever they want. The moment your hair and features are perfectly done, you’re dragged behind a screen as they strip you, folding your night robes neatly as they work to squeeze you into a lovely garment, shimmering silk of vivid amber and vermillion, plain yet exquisite, seen from the expertly sewn hems and edges and the gorgeous material. 
Squeaking, you straighten hurriedly as the lady-in-waiting tugs sharply on the ribbon, tying it into a delicate bow at the back. A mirror is thrust into your face and you hesitate slightly before taking it. Gasping, you peer at your reflection. You hardly recognized yourself, exuding an air of grace and elegance, your hair swept up as your features were flawlessly accentuated and the bold colours of your clothing brought out the life in your eyes and the ruby-red of your lips. You stare at your reflection, not missing the lady-in-waiting’s smug smirk as she dabs rose water on the sides of your neck.
They push you out the doors of your chamber and you stumble unceremoniously before regaining your balance. Outside, your mother awaits you, tears filling her pretty eyes as she takes you in, pride and affection lighting up her face. Stepping forward, she grabs your hands, tears slowly falling down and automatically, you brush them off with feather-light touches. 
“Are you ready?” she whispers, squeezing your hands. Your features soften when you notice the genuine concern in her eyes. You nod, smiling tenderly. Your father approaches you, a heavy hand falling on your shoulder. Although he seems indifferent, you can decipher love and satisfaction in his midnight-black eyes. Awkwardly, he pulls you into an embrace and you choke back a laugh, tears filling your own eyes. Even if they weren’t your parents, past (Y/n) was lucky to have them. 
“Bring honour to our family, (Y/n).” His thunderous voice rumbles through you and you sense the vulnerability in his tone before he pulls away, the proud smile on his face making your heart soar. 
Raising your chin, you match his smile with yours. “I will.”
»»————-  ————-««
You wait in the palanquin, your hands clenching the exquisite silk of your garment anxiously. Hearing giggling, you lift the screen obscuring the small window to your right, peering out into the sunshine.
"Do you think she'll survive in the palace?"
"I know she's not going to. Have you seen her? I bet she can’t even last a few days in the palace without embarrassing herself.” The taller girl sneers, lips curling in contempt.
You watch as the girls titter elegantly behind their fans, your anger simmering as your grasp tightens, knuckles whitening. Lifting your chin proudly, you vow to prove them wrong.
»»————-  ————-««
“Are you not excited to see your bride-to-be, Sangyeon?” 
The crown prince turns to see his brother smirking slyly at him, his gaze implying. “Don’t be immature, Sejo,” he replied rigidly, fixing his gaze on the horizon, jaw tense. 
“I heard she’s quite a pretty thing. I wouldn’t mind having her by my side.” Sejo continues,  inspecting the scenery nonchalantly. 
“Stop referring to her like she’s a plaything. Besides, you know there’s still Hwi-bin.” Sangyeon sighs, not even looking at his brother as he adjusts his robes carefully, palms smoothing over the navy silk and the slight scratchiness of the gold embroidered on it. 
Sejo rolls his eyes at the mention of Hwi-bin. “There are plenty of gorgeous and noblewomen clamouring to be with you, yet you’re still captivated by her.”
“I am not you. I am interested in having a stable and mutually loving relationship. After all, I am not the one going to pleasure houses in Hanseong.” Sangyeon retorts, and although he sounds aggravated, his eyes twinkle with amusement. 
A chuckle escapes from him when he hears Sejo mutter "boring" underneath his breath.
In response, his brother scoffs but a smile plays on his lips. Turning his gaze to observe the scenery, he becomes solemn, the smile disappearing. “You’re going to have to break things off with Hwi-bin, brother.” 
At the change of topic, Sangyeon groans, throwing back his head. "It's not as easy as it sounds." 
"You're going to have to do it, for the future of our country." Sejo reprimanded, uncharacteristically serious, unsettling the prince. 
“Now you’re starting to sound like father,” Sangyeon grumbled, massaging his temples with his fingers. Lately, he hadn’t been able to sleep well, evident by the dark circles under his eyes and his sunken cheeks. The lack of sleep clearly didn’t do wonders for the recurring migraines he had everyday, and all he wanted was to get the marriage over with, if only to stop his parents’ nagging. 
Sejo sighed dramatically, already opening his mouth to yap away but Sangyeon turned away, squinting into the horizon, seeing a palanquin in the distance, the tiny tassels dancing as the platform swayed rhythmically, the family crest held up proudly.
Squaring his shoulders, he inhaled sharply before vaulting himself on the horse, who nickered softly in greeting as the male stroked its nose. “They’re here.”
»»————-  ————-««
Hearing the door slide open, you turn around, seeing Sangyeon in the doorway.
You bow deeply, averting your gaze respectfully. Only when he acknowledges your presence do you straighten, the silk of your hanbok rustling softly. The journey here was nothing remarkable, and although you thought the riches of your home was extravagant enough, the furniture of the imperial palace was outrageously lavish, your home paling in comparison. You inch away from the jade vase you were gaping at previously, terrified of shattering it.
"What are you here for, Your Excellency?" you ask politely, your gaze settling on him.
"My father has commanded me to show you around Hanseong. He hopes for you to see the glory and learn the ways of the imperial city." the crown prince states, his voice void of any emotion as he studies you, his eyes narrowed slightly. 
Hesitating, you nod, giving him a tiny smile. "I would love to."
"I shall call for a palanquin then," Sangyeon responds and although he turns away, you can see the flash of distaste on his face. When he steps towards the exit to leave, you call out, causing him to stop.
 What is it, Lady (Y/n)?" he turns around, raising an eyebrow.
You wince at the way he addresses you so formally. Although it served as a form of respect, it felt foreign and it made him feel even more distant.
"Is it alright if we could go by horse?" you dare to ask, anticipating his answer. After suffering through the whole journey to the imperial palace in such a suffocating space, you were determined to never experience it again.
When you notice the blank look on his face, you shake your head quickly. "Pretend I didn't say anything, Your Excellency." you hastily add, lowering your gaze. 
Sangyeon's lips part slightly as he considers. He has to admit; he was pleasantly shocked by your request. Many distinguished ladies such as yourself were quite comfortable inside a palanquin, shielded from the world and its dangers.
He preferred experiencing things first-hand, on the back of a horse, racing through golden fields of wheat and feeling the wind tousle his hair. It provided a sense of freedom before he returned to the restraining imperial palace. Sangyeon hated travelling in a palanquin as it reminded him of his royal status and how it prompted others to treat him differently.
"Of course. We will leave at dusk then," he says stiffly, before proceeding to leave, the dark lacquered floorboards creaking slightly under his footsteps. Raising your head, you watch his figure disappear from your sight, a relieved sigh escaping your lips.
Unbeknownst to you, his lips curl into a small smile.
Perhaps you weren't as dreadful as he thought.
»»————-  ————-««
Just as planned, you found Sangyeon waiting with two horses outside the gate, his sharp jawline accentuated by the coral rays of the setting sun. He didn’t notice you, his eyes trained on something you couldn’t see. Slowing your pace, you drag your feet in the soft mud, wondering if it was a mistake to refuse the offer of a palanquin. After all, you weren’t well accustomed with horses. You envisioned yourself falling off the horse mid-journey and shuddered, not eager to have a repeat of an incident. Clenching your jaw in determination, you told yourself that you were doing this to prove to the prince that you were different. Marching towards him briskly, you greeted him with a bow, with which he acknowledged stiffly. 
Sangyeon chuckled softly, seeing you stare doubtfully at the horse, offering his hand which you gratefully accepted. Hoisting you onto your stead, you struggled to regain balance for a few seconds, your heart hammering against your ribs. As if sensing your uncertainty, the horse snorts, tossing its head and you yelp, gripping the reins tightly, only causing the horse to angrily neigh, becoming even more restless.
“Relax, you’re only throwing the horse off.” he utters, seating himself on his stead with an easy air that came with constant practice. 
“I know that.” you shoot back, daring a glance at the prince. Sangyeon seems surprised at first, eyebrows arched in question, then laughing heartily, startling you. It was the first time you had seen him expressing mirth, instead of his usual intimidating stoic expression.
Before you can ride off, a shout is heard from behind you. Turning around in the saddle, you notice a guard dashing towards you, sweat matting his hair. “Your Excellency, you can’t just run off like that. Your Majesty has assigned me to assist you and Lady (Y/n).”
Sangyeon waves him off dismissively. “We don’t need a guard. But if it comes to it, I can protect us both.” At that, he pulls back his robe, revealing a lethal-looking dagger sheathed at his hip.
The guard opens his mouth, attempting to protest but Sangyeon gives him a stern look. “That’s an order.” You watch on quietly as the guard sullenly walks back at the prince’s words. Sangyeon turns his horse back around with a slight tug of the reins. “Let’s get going. It’s ideal to be back before nightfall.” 
You nod, tugging lightly on your reins. “Try to keep up.” he snickers, displaying an uncharacteristically playful and teasing side. You gasp, offended. Sure, you didn’t have much experience with horses, especially compared to him but you were certain you’d be able to pick it up quickly.
 “I am fully capable of keeping up, Your Excellency” you retorted, your pride stinging slightly. 
“We’ll see.” Sangyeon gives you a boyish smirk as he nudges at his horse’s flanks, settling into a steady pace.
»»————-  ————-««
It’s quiet in the forest and you are aware of the tense silence that hangs between you and Sangyeon. Clearing your throat, you start to think of conversation starters, desperate to try and befriend the prince. It would be better to make friends and allies instead of foes. Before you can speak, Sangeon beats you to it. 
“Just so you know, the marriage is tomorrow.”
You gape, clenching the reins so hard, your stead whinnies in protest. Relaxing your grip in apology, you turn to face Sangyeon. “So soon?” 
He nods, clearly dissatisfied. “It’s always best to marry young and my father is convinced it will help establish my power to prevent a coup d'état.”
You don’t respond, your body swaying to the rhythmic trotting of the horse. 
“You might not be aware, but I…” Sangyeon hesitates, struggling to find the correct words. You watch him curiously, waiting patiently for him to continue. 
“I already have a lover.” he continues, “unfortunately, you will not be getting the marriage you dreamed of, Lady (Y/n).”
You secretly celebrate in your mind, glad that the male felt the same way. Being forced into an arranged marriage to establish power and reputation was not something you had thought would happen anytime, yet it had happened anyway. You had miserably hoped that this feeling wasn’t one-sided and it seemed like the gods granted you this wish. 
“First of all, please drop the formalities. Just call me (Y/n).” you instruct, and amused, Sangyeon agrees and requests of you to do the same. If you were to be stuck in a marriage with him, you might as well seek out more information and become good friends. 
“Second, you don’t need to worry. I’m not exactly pleased to be in an arranged marriage, even if it’s with royalty, so I don’t care if you have another lover.” you laugh, and Sangyeon’s worry melts away, replaced by an easy smile.
“Thank god.” he mutters under his breath, clearly relieved. For some reason, you find it hilarious, bursting into uncontrollable laughter which he eventually joins in. With tears in your eyes, you catch your breath before getting thrown into another bout of laughter by his little dance of victory. Calming down, you turn to Sangyeon who was smiling brightly, admiring the way the dying sunlight reflected on his hair and danced in his eyes. He looked lively and carefree, with his rosy cheeks and tousled hair and you were sure you would’ve fallen in love with him if you had met him in your time. Alas, it was the wrong person and wrong time. 
“How about this?” you speak up, and he perks up at your question, eager to please. 
“I think we should be friends.” you beam at him, experiencing the most joy and freedom since arriving in Joseon. Screw arranged marriages, no one should get to decide who you marry and who you don’t! 
Sangyeon tilts his head, pretending to contemplate your offer before nudging his horse in your direction, pulling closer to you. Reaching out, he extends his hand, eyes twinkling with mischief and mirth.
Grinning, you accept it, shaking hands firmly. “Deal.”
»»————-  ————-««
A day later, you sit on the bed, itching to take off all the silk garments that were bound tightly against your body, suffocating you. The marriage flew by in a blur and all you could remember was watching Sangyeon ascend the steps, his regal face solemn and void of any emotion. When his gaze had connected with yours, his lips had quirked up slightly, as if reassuring you that it would be alright, before masked with seriousness once again. 
Shaking your head, laughter bubbles out your throat. Out of all the things you thought would happen in the past, getting married wasn’t anywhere in the list. At least, you could boast that you had gotten married first out of all your friends, although you doubted they would believe you.
Humming softly, you listened to the sound of the night; cicadas and crickets chirping and you could hear the distant sound of a bubbling creek. Nothing like the busy city of present-day Seoul, you mused. While fiddling with your fingers, nature’s melodies lull you into a sense of peace and you sigh softly, too much time on your hands. Then, it struck you. It was the wedding night.
Disgusted, you banished the horrifying thoughts before you looked around for something to defend yourself with, just in case. Silver blades gleam in the candlelight and you catch a glimpse of your scowling face as you reach out to grab the scissors. Although Sangyeon didn’t seem like it, if he tried to take advantage of you, he’d have multiple nasty stab wounds that you hoped to avoid inflicting. 
Speak of the devil.
The doors slide open, revealing Sangyeon, his cheeks flushed pink from the cold air, as well as a few drinks, you suspected. You watch him warily, like a lioness stalking its prey. He shrugs off the ceremonial robes, revealing the plain garment underneath. Finishing, he turns towards you, raising an eyebrow. “Are you going to sleep like that?” he questions, gesturing to the extravagant wedding hanbok. 
Smoothing over the creases in the silk, you trace the embroidered peonies on the crimson material. You shake your head, wincing when you feel the heavy headpiece shift, yanking at your hair. Although it was gorgeous, the material was restricting and weighted, with a ridiculous amount of layers, hindering your movements. Standing, you silently untie the bow, letting the silk pool around your waist as you work to take off the headpiece and release your hair from its torture. Sangyeon takes it and carefully places it on the table as you fold the ceremonial garment neatly, leaving it next to the ornamental headpiece. 
Standing in your night robe, you and Sangyeon stare at each other, his gaze flicking down to the scissors in your hand and understanding floods his face. When you don’t move, he sits on the pallet before reclining back. “I’m not going to do anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Sangyeon says softly, eyes trained on your face. 
When you relax, he grins, the atmosphere becoming more light-hearted. “Do I really seem like that type of person?” he continues, scrunching his nose as he gave you a look of mock hurt that you ignored.
You place down the scissors before gracelessly flopping on the bed, jostling Sangyeon, causing him to yelp. You close your eyes, fatigue overcoming you. “Goodnight” you mumble, yawning widely as you turn on your side, making sure to keep a safe distance. 
When he doesn’t respond, you shift to face him, stifling laughter when you realize that he was already fast asleep, mouth ajar, chest rising and falling steadily. You watch him sleep for a while, his face serene and almost angelic before turning back on your side, closing your eyes. 
Mumbling in his sleep, he throws an arm over your waist and you freeze, before gingerly lifting his arm off, uncomfortable with such displays of physical affection. Closing your eyes, you’re overcome with a sudden nostalgia and longing for your present time and you sigh, praying that you would be able to return before your eyelids droop, slowly drifting off to dreamland. 
»»————-  ————-««
Over several days, you and Sangyeon have gotten to know each other well, thanks to late night conversations and going on adventures to escape the controlling grip of the imperial palace, where you felt like you couldn’t even breathe without a judging glance thrown your way. 
You would be lying if you didn’t find Sangyeon attractive. With his easy smile and the confident aura that he practically radiated, you cursed the gods for not creating such gorgeous men in your time. However, things have changed between you and him. Lately, you had caught him sneaking furtive glances at you and you had to admit that you had been doing the same, although you were sure you were more subtle. 
Last night, you and Sangyeon had laid together in the darkness, limbs tangled in the sheets, but no one made an effort to detangle themself from the material. Tentatively, you tested the waters and leaned against his arm. As expected, he slipped the arm out but to your surprise, he repositioned it around your shoulder, pulling you closer to his body. 
“You awake?” 
You had whispered into the quietness of the room and he had hummed in response. In the shadows of the room, you barely saw him shift. “Is something wrong?” He had lowered his voice to match yours, as if sharing a sacred secret. 
You shook your head, but quickly realized he probably couldn’t see you. “I can’t sleep, that’s all.” You had felt his laughter, the vibration rumbling through his chest and travelling down to your bones. “What a coincidence, I can’t either.”
You thought for a while before asking him to tell you more about himself. Although you had spent the days getting to know each other, it was one-sided. Him, nodding and listening intently while you had blabbered about yourself and any entertaining story you could think of, leaving out the important detail about coming from the future. Compiling, Sangyeon had then started telling stories about his childhood and his daily life. 
Delighted, you had curled up in a ball, feeling drowsy as he continued to speak, his soothing voice lulling you to sleep. Sensing your tiredness from your lack of response, he stops abruptly and when you blearily ask him why he stopped, he doesn’t respond, instead beginning to sing the rich melody of an unfamiliar song and your eyes widen momentarily in amazement, before fluttering close. Sangyeon’s voice was mellifluous, warm and honeyed, reminding you of a pleasant spring day, warm sunshine filtering through a canopy of trees while birds sang their individual melodies, yet still harmonizing to create a beautiful orchestration. 
Before you succumb to the enticing pull of sleep, Sangyeon wishes you a good sleep and for a second, your muddled brain ponders if you imagined the feeling of his lips against your forehead.
Lost in your thoughts, you don’t notice the door sliding open until footsteps jolt you into attention. Looking up, you lock eyes with Hwi-bin, Sangyeon’s first love. 
Your eyes rove over her features and you can’t help but feel envious. You could tell why Sangyeon loved her so intensely. Big, doe eyes, flawless skin, plush rosebud-like lips and long, silky hair. Hwi-bin was so beautiful that she was practically a goddess and you were convinced that if she was in your time, she’d have all the boys clamouring for her attention. 
As she greeted you, you panicked, opening your mouth as the gears in your head furiously functioned, trying to patch together words. Hwi-bin giggled at your flustered display before grabbing your hands, passion and urgency burning in the deep pools of her eyes.
“My lady, I am here to talk about the crown prince.”
You gulp involuntarily, your mind still a jumbled mess. “L-listen-” 
Before you can piece together your sentence, she interrupts you. “I just want to know if you love him or not. I’ll understand if you say you do, and I promise I won’t interfere with your marriage.”
Frantically, you shake your head. “I don’t love him, I swear.” Jealousy was a poison, dangerous enough to taint the hearts of even the most innocent or kind people. You knew from experience and you hoped Hwi-bin wasn’t like the crazy female characters in kdramas vowing for revenge. 
Noticeably relieved, she lets go of your hands, gratitude shining in her eyes. “I’m glad, then.” Hwi-bin turns away and leaves with an apologetic smile, saying that she was busy, although she regretted not being able to gossip with you. You nod, already staring off in a distance, unfocused, gradually losing yourself in the lucid world of your imagination.
If you had cared to look closely, you would’ve seen the malevolent smirk on Hwi-bin’s face and the dark, vindictive glimmer in her eyes. 
Oh, what a fool.
»»————-  ————-««
As you’re about to pay your respects to the queen, you cross paths with the king’s favourite concubine.  She regards you stonily as you step into a bow, dipping your head respectfully. Although your eyes are fixed on the ground, you can feel her slowly circling you. Uncomfortable, you shift slightly, feeling like prey pinned underneath a predator’s deadly stare. 
“I don’t understand how you got chosen amongst the millions of women practically begging to be the prince’s consort.” she muses, halting in front of you. Her voice was husky and deep like she smoked tobacco every day. Although it wasn’t melodious or lovely, you understood the allure and sensuality of it. 
You flinch when she grabs you by the chin, tilting your face up roughly, her grip bruising as she examines your features. Eun-Ji gasps, opening her mouth to protest but a sharp glance from the concubine silences her. 
“You’re not exceptionally beautiful either, rather average.” she continues, before letting go of your face. “Perhaps it is because your family is rich.” 
Your eye twitches before you school your features into a serene expression, allowing her to continue to direct insults and jabs at you. You knew better than to give her what she wanted.
“Sadly, the prince won’t be giving you much attention. You’ll die alone here. Besides, you’re just a willing pawn who will submit to her future king until he doesn’t need you anymore. Then, he’ll throw you away.” she feigns a pitiful expression before laughing mockingly, the sound grating and unpleasant. You recoil slightly when she leans in, her face mere inches from yours.
“However, as long as I live, that scoundrel won’t be the successor to the throne and you won’t be there to help aid his ascent to power.” she spits, her voice venomous, a drastic change compared to her relaxed words a few seconds ago. 
“Don’t call him a scoundrel,” you shoot back, resisting the urge to strike her. Yes, you had originally thought he was just a pompous prince who was power-hungry but after spending time with him, you realized that Sangyeon wasn’t truly as bad as you imagined. He was respectful and kind, clearly valuing and putting others before himself. 
The moment the words are out your mouth, you know it’s over for you. Although you could get severely disciplined for talking back, you felt no regret, only sick satisfaction.
Her eyes flash with anger and her hand strikes out, slapping you across the face with so much force you lose your balance, falling on the ground. Eun-Ji cries out, kneeling next to you as she examines you for any injuries.
“That’ll teach you a lesson. Telling me to respect him? Learn your place first.” she hisses, crouching down to your level and wiping her hand on the full skirt of your hanbok, as if there was grime on her hand from touching your face.  “Aren’t you so pathetic? Apologize to me and I’ll think about forgiving you.” she croons, expecting your grovelling. 
You consider for a heartbeat, weighing the two options. “I’d rather die.” you growl, bristling. When her smug expression morphs into something akin to shock, you feel a surge of pride. Although you knew better than to go around provoking other ladies of the court who could bring upon your demise, you did not want to be meek, thrown and played around with, like a toy underneath the lethal claws of a feline. 
“You want to get punished, don’t you?” she utters, livid. “That’s fine, kneel until your precious little prince finds you and saves you, just like the hero you’ve dreamed of.” You bite back the urge to tell her that you didn’t need a man to save you. You were fully capable of saving yourself. You detested being treated as a damsel-in-distress, just waiting for someone to take pity on her. 
“I guarantee he won’t, he will be too infatuated with Hwi-bin to care about you.” she derides, lips curling in a contemptuous smile. 
You open your mouth to refute, but she has already glided away, the silk of her lavish garment rippling underneath the light as her entourage follows her, their heads bowed. You growl in frustration before attempting to get up but Eun-Ji stops you, shaking her head. 
“If you don’t heed her order, you could get thrown into the dungeon,” she whispers frantically, her eyes shifting as she holds on to your wrist tightly. 
You shake your head in disdain. “Are you seriously scared of her?” you ask, trying to pry her fingers off your sleeve, the material of your garment creasing underneath her grip. 
She nods, relaxing her grip. "She has more power than you think she does. She could order your death if she wanted to." 
You bite back the colourful string of curses that you wanted to spew. Surely, that wasn't what a lady of the court would do. So you forced yourself to calm down, taking deep breaths before shifting, raising yourself to kneel. 
Hours pass, the rays of sunlight growing weaker as more and more clouds collect but you refuse to lower your chin, head held high. You don't bother glancing at the servants and nobles who walk past, whispering behind their hands as they eye you. 
Even if humiliation caused the blood to rush to your face and your knees to shake, you wouldn't give them the satisfaction of watching you break.
Rain starts to fall, gently at first, nothing but mist before the storm gray clouds roll in and suddenly it pours, pelting against the ground with so much force it causes the small puddles to ripple. You don't brush the raindrops away from your face, allowing them to continue cascading down. You already know your hair and garments are drenched and it sends chills through you. You clench your jaw, gritting your teeth to stop them chattering from the cold.
Where was Sangyeon?
»»————-  ————-««
You wake up, groaning as a panging headache hits you. Struggling, you sit up, eyes widening as you take in your surroundings, recognizing the familiar tapestries hanging on the wall and priceless decor that is placed in the room, lacquered floors shining, not even a hint of dust apparent. You tilted your head to the side, confused. You didn’t remember much from yesterday, except that you had made an enemy with the royal concubine and that she had told you to kneel as punishment for disrespecting her. 
You draw in a sharp breath. That could only mean one thing, right? Sangyeon had found you and safely returned you to your chambers. Which meant….
You shook your head, shaking off the smug triumph like a dog shaking off water. Still, you had to know it, had to hear it for yourself. 
Propping yourself up, you call for your lady-in-waiting. Eun-ji rushes to your aid, carrying a basin of water and a towel. With the speed of her pace, the water splashes against the sides of the basin, threatening to spill. 
She presses a hand against your forehead, concern creasing her brow when she feels the heat that practically radiates off of it. You smile when Eun-ji places the damp cloth on, your heart warming at how caring and considerate she is. 
"Why are you smiling, my lady?"
You recline on the propped cushions, eyes closed. "It's nothing. What happened?"
Eun-ji hesitates slightly before speaking up. “The queen came across your unconscious figure and ordered me to bring you home. She promised that she’d lift off the punishment that the concubine gave you.”
You turn, so quickly your head starts to spin and you feel faint. Groaning, you close your eyes for a heartbeat, focusing on your steady breathing and the warmth of her hands pushing your damp hair off your face. 
Footsteps hammer against the wooden floors and you twist around to peer at the door. Your heart soars when you see Sangyeon in the doorway, face flushed and breath strained as he pants, attempting to catch his breath. Despite his disordered appearance, he was handsome as always, dark, cocoa brown eyes sparkling in the sunshine, causing him to glow, features perfectly lit in the warm golden light. 
He stumbles towards you and Eun-ji quietly leaves as he catches your face with both hands, the heat of them seeping into your skin as he examines your face for any hint of injury or discomfort. Frowning, he speaks as he inspects the faint red on your check. 
“I heard what happened and I came as quickly as I could-”
"You were with her, weren't you?" you interrupt, voice quiet but it sounds loud to your ringing ears, echoing in the otherwise silent room. 
Sangyeon hesitates, clearly reluctant. "Answer me." you snap and you're in awe of your own boldness. An attitude like this could doom you, as seen with the incident that happened only a couple of hours ago. 
You figured you had nothing to lose, anyways. 
"...Yes." 
You sigh, dropping yourself right back on the futon, hair messily splayed out. You didn’t dare admit that it bothered you more than you’d like. After all, you were the one married to Sangyeon. Not Hwi-bin, not someone else, but you.  Not to mention he was awfully handsome and charming, confident, sweet and--
You broke off the train of thoughts, directing your focus somewhere else. You rubbed your temples, feeling an oncoming migraine and you furiously willed it to go away. "Listen Sangyeon," you began, meeting the gaze of the male next to you. 
"If you want to convince everyone that we're madly in love, you're going to have to act like it."
At your statement, Sangyeon tilts his head like a lost puppy. “What do you mean?”
For a crown prince who supposedly was a high-class scholar, excelling in both studies and skills, he could be so dim. You suppress the sigh that threatened to escape, instead meeting his gaze squarely to try and prove your point. “They can’t know we’re not in love, you idiot. The queen recently told me she was looking forward to becoming a grandmother, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed, shaking your fists in exasperation, trying to emphasize your point and get it through his thick skull. 
Sangyeon looked absolutely horrified, mouth hanging open, and you almost laughed at how comical his face looked before your heart dropped. Was it that terrifying to be in a marriage with you? You conceal your hurt, instead sitting up, the duvet pooling around your waist. You struggle with the silk, frowning at how restraining the material was. 
Shaking his head, he lifts his hands to grip your shoulders, ceasing your movements. You stall, heat blossoming in your face at how close he is. Sangyeon’s face is close to yours and you can feel every breath he takes. Turning away, you try to distract yourself from his lips, merely inches from yours and the way his breath tickled your cheek. Your mind was shrieking like a crushing schoolgirl about to have her first kiss and you divert your attention elsewhere, ashamed of your bold thoughts.
“Is it that bad, being in an arranged marriage with me?” you tease weakly, loosening his grip on your shoulders as you clear your throat, bumping your shoulder against his playfully, trying to lighten the serious mood.
Suddenly, Sangyeon avoids your eyes, cheeks reddening. “It really isn’t.” he whispers, puffing his cheeks out. “It’s not what you think.”
You tilt your head, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean...I care more than you think.” Sangyeon admits, and immediately buries his face into his hands, already dreading his decision to tell you. You stared at him, stunned. Was this...a confession? When you stay silent, he peeks through his fingers, only to be met with your face, centimeters from his. Eyes widening almost comically, he tries to shy away but you lean in closer to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek. Sangyeon’s blush deepens and he instantly interprets your hidden message in the display of affection. 
Silence ensues, but it’s not awkward, rather the opposite. Hesitantly, he picks up your hand and plays with your fingers, gaze dropping bashfully to his lap. The room seems to brighten, becoming more colourful and vivid. Pale and washed-out colours of misery and despair are replaced by the spirited and vigorous colours of yellow irises and peach blossoms. 
Suddenly, Sangyeon pulls you, mindful of your feverish body, but with enough force so that you land in his lap. Laughing, you prop your chin on his shoulder and run your hands through his hair as his arms snake around your waist, snuggling into the crook of your neck. 
“What about Hwi-bin?” you ask timidly and your question seems to partially dissipate the whimsical mood. Pulling away, Sangyeon considers your question as he twirls a lock of your hair around his finger. 
“I’ll have to tell her.” he says firmly, “It’s not right to keep this from her. But our relationship is technically public because we are married.” With his last statement, he wiggles his eyebrows at you and you shove him away playfully, pulling a disgusted face. 
“You’re making me regret reciprocating your feelings.” 
Sangyeon gasps dramatically, clutching at his chest. “How could you say that?” 
He lunges forward, capturing you in his arms as he tries to tickle you but you block him with your hands, grappling for control until you finally latch onto his wrists, obstructing his movements. Sangyeon presses his forehead against yours before frowning, pulling back. 
“You’re feverish, (Y/n).” he tells you gently, turning to grab the abandoned cloth that had fallen off, submerging it in the cool water before placing it back on your forehead. You’re about to make a snarky remark but Sangyeon shushes you, your smirk disappearing, replaced with a pout.
“I’ve got paperwork to do so I’ll leave you to rest. Get better, (Y/n).” 
You nod, closing your eyes, a smile settling on your lips as you listen to his soft footsteps recede into the distance and when you sink into sleep, not even one nightmare plagues it.
 »»————-  ————-««
Laughter fills the shadows of the forest as you dart away from Sangyeon’s reach, sticking your tongue out childishly. “Try and catch me!” you call, nothing but adrenaline and joy running through your veins, fueling you to feel foolishly carefree, like you were drunk on the finest alcohol. Running away, you spread your arms out like the wings of an eagle, tilting your head back, enjoying the feeling of the wind caressing your face. 
Your eyes widen when you notice something white from a distance. You fall prey to your curiosity as you meander along, picking your way carefully amongst the fallen leaves and large roots of ancient trees that snake through the dirt of the forest floor. 
Heart pounding, you reach the mysterious object, inhaling sharply when you realize that it’s a lovely young woman asleep on the floor, gossamer robes covering her frame. Shaking her shoulder, you attempt to rouse her, eyes roving over her face and body to search for telltale signs of injury. Noticing none, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Turning away, you attempt to call out to Sangyeon, but a hand slaps over your mouth, muffling your cry.
Turning around, you realize the woman is awake and fear strikes you when you note the glimmer of menace in her black, pitless eyes. “(Y/n) (L/n),” she begins, and as she speaks, her robes shift, revealing nine tails, pure as snow. Her hand lifts off your mouth but her eyes tell you that if you were to scream she wouldn’t hesitate to resort to violence. 
Briefly, you remember the tale of the nine-tailed fox before terror erases it, all reason leaving you in an instant. You couldn’t tell if the woman was trying to give you a friendly greeting or if she’d pull a knife on you in a heartbeat. “H-have we met?” you stammer, laughing nervously to mask your fear. You struggle against her iron grip but your strength is no match for her overpowering one. 
“You come from the future, yes? You are looking for a way to return back to your time and I believe I can aid you with that.” she continues calmly, and you go limp, struggling to find the right words. 
How did she know?
“How I know is none of your business.” she adds sharply, as if she could read your mind. “However...I can tell you how to get back to your time.”
“In exchange for what?” you question warily, finally finding your voice. Staying in Joseon,, you knew better than to accept someone’s offer without finding out what price you had to pay. 
Throwing back her head, the woman lets out a laugh that echoes sharply and you survey your surroundings cautiously to try and detect any lingering eavesdroppers. “Smart girl,” The nine-tailed fox leans back with a smug smile, arms crossed over her chest. “Quite fortunate for you, I demand no price. Whether you accept or not, you must leave as you are interfering with the history of Joseon.” 
“Listen closely, for you won’t have another chance.” says the nine-tailed fox, her voice dropping to a whisper, forcing you to lean in closer, straining to hear her.
“Exactly a week later, the planets will align, creating a rare phenomenon and a celestial light will appear, creating an opening where you can escape back to your time. You may have experienced this when you accidentally travelled here.”
You nod, everything slowly connecting and making sense. The corridor in the palace had glowed brighter and you predicted that it was the same celestial light that had allowed you to travel back in time. “How are you sure this will work?” you ask, doubtful.
The woman seems taken aback by your question, then offended. “You have to trust me. It’s your only chance and it is a rare occurrence so it will only happen many centuries later. I doubt a mere mortal like you could live that long.” At that, she barks a laugh before sobering, suddenly grasping your hands with her cold ones.
“You were wrong to fall in love. Joseon does not need you here. You must break ties with your prince and leave before you alter the history, ultimately changing the way your world works as well.” she states, urgency dripping from her voice as she stares into your eyes, any sign of the previous mockery and mirth gone. 
You incline your head in understanding. “I understand,” you breathe. “Although...where am I supposed to find this celestial light?”
Suddenly, the sound of fallen leaves crunching alert you of another presence and the woman whips her head in the direction, eyes narrowing. “Look for an open space. The best area would be the bridge that passes over the river.”
“(Y/n)?” 
You startle, recognizing Sangyeon’s voice. Discerning the worry in his voice, you try to pull away from the nine-tailed fox but she tugs on your hands. “Good luck. Your fate is in your hands. No one can change it but you.” 
She disappears, leaving you dazed, kneeling on the ground amidst the autumn leaves. You pick up the closest leaf, staring numbly at the vibrant scarlet colour as you try to decipher the information. Hearing Sangyeon call your name again, you respond, listening to his footsteps gradually increasing in volume.
Scooping you up into his embrace, Sangyeon buries his face into the crook of your face, inhaling your scent. “Where were you? You scared me.” he whines, uncharacteristically pouty.
You laugh shakily, reaching up to squeeze his face, pulling at his cheeks. “Sorry. I got distracted by a fox.” You felt bad lying to him but at least you were technically telling the truth. You did see a fox...just not the type Sangyeon would expect.
“Let’s get out of the forest. It’s starting to get dark.” he answers, not even noticing your lie, despite how your voice trembled. Sangyeon tore his gaze away from you, eyeing the forest. The sun was almost completely set, mist creeping into the forest as a chill descended, creating an eerie atmosphere. You couldn’t help but jump several times when you noticed a shadow slinking near you, shaken from the encounter with the peculiar woman. 
Hiking out of the forest, you huffed, swiping at the sweat that collected on your forehead. It was already evening, the stars and moon already coming out of hiding, shining brightly on you and Sangyeon, your hand clasped tightly in his and you couldn’t help but chuckle amusedly. It was like he was afraid of losing sight of you. Struggling slightly, you shake off his hand, ignoring his protests. 
Trudging to the meadow, you plop down on the grass, stretching your legs out as you sighed in relief, tilting your head back to gaze lazily at the sky.
Patting the space next to you, you beamed at Sangyeon, whose eyes crinkled endearingly as he reciprocated it before settling down in the grass next to you. Absentmindedly, you hum, running your fingers through the blades of grass, raindrops collecting on your fingertips. 
Your thoughts drift away to the encounter with the nine-tailed fox but you push them away, choosing to instead savour the few moments you had alone with Sangyeon. You lower yourself until you’re lying in the grass, lifting a hand to study the stars, silhouetted against the dark night sky and you marvel at how clear it is compared to the sky in your present time, swirls of midnight and navy blue embellished with bands of gold and silver stars that twinkle mysteriously down at you, nothing shielding its pure beauty. 
Fabric rustles as Sangyeon does the same, lying next to you. You can feel the warmth radiating off his body and it lulls you into a sense of safety. Turning your head slightly, you admire him, eyes roving over his sharp features shamelessly, memorizing every slant and curve, tucking it away in your memories. Shifting onto your side, you let your hand reach out, finger gently running along the bridge of his nose before gently tapping it twice. Sangyeon’s lips twitch as he fights back a smile but his eyes flutter close as his hand snaps out to grasp your wrist, lowering it as he brings it to his mouth, softly kissing it before letting go. 
It feels bittersweet, knowing that you had fallen in love with Sangyeon. It was the right person, but the wrong time. Although you didn’t believe in destiny, it felt like you and him were destined to meet, to provide a paradise for the both of you, even if it didn’t last for long.
What was the word again? 
Ephemeral. 
Your relationship with him was ephemeral. Fleeting, short-lived. Something that would last for a short time before you left for good. You closed your eyes as a weight crushed your chest, the reminder that you would leave him behind to a world where things seemed more complicated, especially not with Sangyeon by your side. 
“You alright?”
His soft yet deep voice rouses you out of your thoughts and you can’t help but shudder slightly at how sensuous it sounds. You nod, not trusting yourself enough to form words without stuttering or blurting out something embarrassing. He twists to face you and your palm instinctively moves to cup his face, running feather-light fingertips along his jawline, the warmth of his skin seeping into yours. Sangyeon’s eyes flutter close at your touch and his lips curve before he turns to press another kiss to your palm, nuzzling his nose into your hand before he allows you to continue to cradle his face. He exhales shakily. Never in his life has Sangyeon ever felt so free and his heart has never felt so full for someone. Time seemed to stop as you lay on the grass, eyes tracing over the constellations, sparkling like they approved. 
In this moment, titles and responsibilities were stripped away, leaving only vulnerability and fragility behind. Sangyeon wasn’t a crown prince and you weren’t from the future, five hundred years later. In this moment, he was just a normal boy and you were just a girl, exposing yourselves to a beautiful blooming love and throwing yourself recklessly into its embrace. Everything felt magical and just right.
»»————-  ————-««
You blink at Hwi-bin. “Excuse me?” 
“Don’t act like you don’t know! You were flirting with Prince Sejo right in public, without shame! How could you? You are married to Prince Sangyeon, the crown prince!” 
You winced at her shrill voice grating on your senses. “I don’t understand what you are trying to say.” you repeat calmly, holding up your hands to try and placate her. You had originally thought Hwi-bin was a sweet girl who wouldn’t swear vengeance but it seemed like your first impression of others was generally incorrect as she was less of a princess, now more like the envious lady in every fairytale who tried to plot the doom of the protagonist.
She huffed, whirling around to face the royal concubine. “My lady, you witnessed it as well!”
The female smirks, leaning forward, her finger tracing over the rim of the porcelain cup in her hand. “How shameful, a noble lady of the court, already married to the crown prince she still flirts and seduces another prince.”
You glare at her, not even trying to mask your hatred for her. “I was simply having a civil conversation with Prince Sejo, my lady. Do I not have the right to speak to other males besides the crown prince?”
“Oh you do.” drawled the concubine, dragging out the words as she stretched out languorously on her seat while you knelt at her feet. “However…” 
She leaned forward, a malicious grin surfacing, reminding you of a hungry hyena ready to attack unexpecting prey. “Romancing another man while you are married to another is punishable by death.”
You crossed your arms, defiant. “I do not know what you are talking about.”
“Oh? We’ll have to see what the crown prince says about this.” she laughed and dread formed in your stomach at the sinister tone in her voice. As if on cue, Sangyeon enters, hands folded behind his back.
Hope rises, like doves that fly when the sun rises. A radiant smile spreads on your face, only to be diminished quickly, like a blown out candle. Sangyeon’s face was unreadable, his dark eyes stormy and calculating as he beheld you. You go rigid as he doesn’t acknowledge you, instead turning to lower his head and say something to the concubine. 
He twirls the dagger in his hand, examining it idly, not even bothering to look at you. “Is what she says true?” he asks, finally acknowledging you as he stares at you with pitless, emotionless eyes. You could hardly recognize the man in front of you. Where was the gentle and sweet Sangyeon you had spent all your days with?
You shake your head frantically, trying to calmly reason with him. “Sangyeon, you know I would never do this.” 
“Really?” Sangyeon lifts a brow. “There were people witnessing you trying to seduce my brother and convince him to elope with you, though.”
Heart leaping into your throat, dread forms in your stomach. Everything was going terribly wrong. He was supposed to believe you but he seemed to have morphed into an entirely different person overnight. Sangyeon looked down at you in disdain, as if you were something that was merely wasting his precious time. The captivating feelings of love that had blossomed were now wilting before your very eyes, smooth ruby petals falling, falling and falling, till they reached the ground, shriveled and black like the ugly hatred gathering in your heart. 
The royal concubine spoke up, leaning forward. “What should we do with her, Your Excellency?”
“You can do whatever you want with her.” Sangyeon turned to look you straight in the eyes. “I never loved her anyway. She was just a toy, a mere plaything to me.”
It was the apathetic tone of his words that finally broke you. Saccharine eyes that once beheld you like you were his entire world, now harsh and bitter as they stared at you piercingly, stripping you of your dignity and strength, leaving you vulnerable. Like a dam barely holding up under the sheer pressure of the river, it broke, and all your emotions came pouring in. 
You stare at Sangyeon in shock, betrayal evident on your face. “Please tell me this isn't true. Sangyeon...please!” you beg, tears filling your eyes as your bottom lip quivers. “You love me right? You know I wouldn’t ever do this!” 
You felt pathetic and unwanted, kneeling at their feet as they looked on, clearly uninterested. Yet you were still in denial, hoping that Sangyeon would come to his senses miraculously and help you out of this mess. 
To your horror, he stares at you challengingly before pressing a kiss against Hwi-bin’s lips,  mirrored smirks on both their faces as Sangyeon turns to face you, without breaking eye contact. “Is that enough proof? Did you really think I truly loved you? It was all an act to unite your family with mine. You are such a fool, (Y/n).”
You lowered your head, vision blurring as you stared at the floor, tears cascading down your face and dripping onto the floorboards, creating a small puddle of sorrow and anguish, nothing compared to your fragile heart, shattered and left on display for all to see.  
The royal concubine cackles, adding to your humiliation and shame, burning bright on your cheeks. “I told you the crown prince would always choose Hwi-bin over you.” she crows triumphantly. “Guards, take her away to the dungeon. I’m sick of her dramatic display.”
Your eyes widen in alarm and you look up, tears falling freely, shining like crystals as you desperately try to seek out Sangyeon, but he’s already turned away, walking away with Hwi-bin by his side. Sangyeon looks at her lovingly, like she’s the only person that matters and your heart crumbles, knowing that he once looked at you like that too. Slumping, you let the guards roughly pull you to your feet, your head lolling to the side in defeat as they drag you towards your awaited fate.
»»————-  ————-««
You sat in the cell, legs tucked neatly underneath you, the rich material of your hanbok soiled beyond repair but you paid it no heed, eyes fixed on the iron bars that separated you from the rest of the castle. Your legs were aching from being pressed into the firm and coarse floor, the thin layer of filthy hay doing nothing to soften it. A chipped bowl of rice and water sat in front of you but it was untouched. 
Hearing footsteps echo on the stone of the floors, you straighten, chin raised in defiance. Did the royal concubine come to taunt you? Hwi-bin? Or was it time for torture? 
You blanch when you realize who's standing in front of you. The crown prince himself. For several heartbeats you stare at him, nothing but betrayal and sorrow on your features before they harden into a cold mask, your eyes betraying nothing. 
Seconds pass, bleeding into minutes. You grit your teeth, feeling like several agonizing hours had passed while Sangyeon stood there, merely observing you. Feeling the need to break the ice that was thickening between you, you opened your mouth. 
“Did you even care about me? Am I just a pawn to be used?” you asked, your voice oddly quiet as you stared at him with a terrifying calmness, like the calm before a great storm. Sangyeon watched you, his expression inscrutable as he clasped his hands behind his back. Your breath hitches as you remember the royal consort’s words.
“Besides, you’re just a willing pawn who will submit to her future king until he doesn’t need you anymore. Then, he’ll throw you away.”
You could almost hear her cackle, echoing in your head as if she already knew the result. “Have you ever seen me… as more than something to take advantage of?” you continue when he doesn’t respond and you finally break, the wall you had constructed finally cracking, nothing but remnants of it left. You dig your fingers into your palm, a familiar prickling sensation in your eyes as tears start to swell, your bottom lip quivering.
His words from yesterday resurface. “Did you really think I truly loved you? It was all an act to unite your family with mine. You are such a fool, (Y/n).”
Sangyeon still doesn’t say anything, his indifferent expression infuriating you. You felt like you were fighting a one-sided battle, as if you were struggling against the strong waves of the ocean that tugged insistently at you, dunking you under over and over again. 
"I was so naive...I thought I'd be able to compete with Hwi-bin but we were never on the same level, to begin with. She was your first, first love, first kiss, first everything. You prioritize her over me because she’s got you wrapped around her finger. Every single time, you'll continue to return back to her.” you laugh bitterly, fingers digging into your scalp, tugging roughly at the unbound strands of your hair. 
The image of love, of romance, was different now. Your relationship with him had started off shakily and although insecurity and doubt swallowed you, you let yourself look ahead, fix your eyes on the light that had appeared at the seemingly never-ending tunnel. It was hope. 
Love...could be compared to a rose in full bloom, lovely with its soft and vermilion petals swaying gently in the wind, carrying over its fragrant and enticing scent, luring you closer until your hands reached out to cup it in your hands, under the charm of its seemingly harmless beauty. The longer you allow yourself to fall underneath its charm, lingering feelings turned into tentative and fleeting kisses, then tangled in each other’s arms, whispering sweet nothings as the moon continues its steady climb in the sky. 
Now that it’s in your possession, you become greedy, wanting more. Your hands slide to its stem, maneuvering it so you can pick it. You’re so captivated that you don’t notice the thorns that gleam menacingly underneath the sunlight until it’s too late, the tender skin of your fingertips breaking as they sink into it, rivulets of scarlet blood cascading down. 
The spell crumbling, you regain your senses and you’re aware of the stinging pain of the wound, You snatch your hand away but the damage is already done. There are two choices: attempt to pick the rose again and let yourself succumb to the pain, numbing your senses as blood continues to trickle or discard it and let yourself heal. 
You had chosen the latter. Entering the imperial palace, you had firmly told yourself to not fall for love’s traps and tricks but here you were, like some kind of lovestruck fool, vying for Sangyeon’s affection. It was time to shut him out, deny him any entrance to your heart and instead, focus on getting back to your true home, five hundred years later. 
Immersed in your brooding thoughts, you don’t notice Sangyeon moving closer to you, the dirty hay shifting underneath his feet. “(Y/n).” he breathes and at the sound of his voice, your heart aches, longing to be in his arms, to be able to feel the smooth skin of his face beneath your palms. You glare at him, backing up to place more distance in between you, pushing the wistful thoughts away. They were like poison, able to muddy your thoughts and cause you to act differently. 
Despite your retreat and clear unwillingness, Sangyeon continues to advance until your back hits the rough and grimy wall of the prison cell. Before you can open your mouth to unleash the lengthy counter that you’ve been holding in, his lips are on yours. Involuntarily, you inhale sharply, a gasp that sounded noisy within the hushed cell, the sound swallowed by his mouth as your fingers instantly tangle themselves in his hair. The familiarity of his soft lips on yours causes electricity to tingle through your entire body and you felt euphoric like you were on cloud nine. 
Your hands fall to the side as Sangyeon presses you roughly against the wall, one hand supporting himself as he deepens the kiss, causing you to feel dizzy. Your knees weaken, turning into jelly as he nips at your lip, teasing it with a graze of his teeth. His free hand finds yours, clasping yours in his with a gentleness that contrasts with the unrelenting pressure of his mouth on yours. 
The kiss is searing, it burns away your worries and problems for the time being, the passion racing through your veins like a fire swallowing a forest. It melts away the ice freezing your heart and you let yourself submit to it and lay yourself bare, becoming vulnerable. 
You swear you feel Sangyeon pass something to you, the cool metal biting into the heated palm of your hand but all thoughts are gone as he parts, trailing soft kisses down your neck. Your unoccupied hand curls into a fist and you know you shouldn't let yourself get carried away. 
After all, Sangyeon was the rose, he was dangerously charming, drawing you so close that your head spun, lessening your chances of returning back to your rightful home. 
Keeping the advice the nine-tailed fox told you in mind, your hand raises to press against his chest, firmly pushing him away and effectively dislodging his lips from yours. 
Sangyeon eyes you, your lips no doubt matching the swollen state of his. He leans in closer, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. You brace yourself, squeezing your eyes shut. 
"Tomorrow at dawn, at the back gates." he whispers, his breath tickling your ear. Your eyes open and they flash with anger as your hand connects with his face and you ignore the stinging of your palm as you withdraw it. 
"Don't tell me what to do." you seethe, gaze locking with his. You glimpse the pink blossoming on the side of Sangyeon's face and you almost feel guilty but you remind yourself that this was all his fault. You had your own plans and you were not going to fail. 
Sangyeon has the audacity to smirk at you as his hand lifts to touch his cheek, eyes dark with desire but they soften when he notices how your hands clench, knuckles whitening. 
You don't look up but you can feel Sangyeon's lingering gaze. He turns on his heel and leaves, bringing the warmth with him, the cell turning back into a bleak gray. Although he's gone, you can still feel his presence.
You move to press the heels of your hands against your brow but the clang of something hitting the ground startles you. Whirling, you peer at the floor and amidst the hay, something gold winking up at you. 
Your hand reaches out, fingers wrapping around it. A key…? Your eyes widen as you remember Sangyeon pressing something into your palm, flushing when you also remember how...preoccupied you were. 
You savour the feeling of the cool metal contrasting with the warmth of your skin as you play with it, your mind racing and calculating. The nine-tailed fox had told you that tomorrow at midnight, all eight major planets in the Solar System would align, which was a rare occurrence that would allow you to travel back to your time. 
During your short time here, you had already taken note of when the guards would rotate into different shifts. That would give you the time to escape to the bridge but with none to spare. If something went wrong...you shook your head. Now was not the time to dwell on if you would fail or not. Lifting your head, you stared at the crescent moon outside of the narrow gap in the wall that served as a window, watching the clouds drift by, blocking the moonlight momentarily.
You could only bide your time and wait.
You called sweetly out to the guard outside your cell, lifting a hand to beckon him closer to request paper and ink. For now, you’ll write a letter to say goodbye to Sangyeon. You felt hollow, dreading the final goodbye but it was inevitable. He belonged here and you belonged in your own time. 
»»————-  ————-««
You didn’t remember much of the next day. After sealing the letter to Sangyeon, you had somehow gotten the guard to cooperate and deliver it to him. All you could do was wait, legs cramping from kneeling on the floor the entire time. You hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep and you felt exhausted, but you were determined to not let the golden opportunity slip from your grasp.
You had spent the day watching the rotations of guards and you noted that the rotation was the same, as if you weren’t worth guarding. You scoff, scorn burning in your veins. You’d show them by escaping. They might have expected a meek girl who couldn’t do anything but merely watch with tears in her eyes and wait for her shining knight in armour to save her but you didn’t need a saviour. You would create your chance and leave this wretched place. 
The sound of heavy footsteps startling you, you recognize the familiar jangling of the keyring paired with off-key whistling, presumably from the nightguard. Shifting, you grip the brick in your hand. You had pried the loose brick from the wall, in hopes of wielding it as a weapon if you got caught. Drops of sweat slither down the back of your neck as you listen to the sound of footsteps recede as the guard hummed merrily, clearly in a good mood after finishing his shift. Knowing you didn’t have time to spare, you rummaged through the make-shift pouch for the key of the cell. Although you hated to ruin such beautiful silk, the long material hindered your movements and you had no choice but to tear it off, exposing your calves and providing freedom of movement. 
Heart pounding, you find the key, almost dropping it due to your clammy hands. Holding it between your clammy fingers, you allow a second to collect yourself before advancing to the door, reaching through the bars. Straining, you miss the keyhole a couple of times before it slips in. Twisting it, your ears perk up when you hear the click and it unlocks, swinging open with a creak. Venturing out, you pause, listening for any footsteps. 
Hearing none, you pad quietly out before settling into a sprint, making sure to tread lightly to avoid unwanted noise. Pressing against a wall, you hold your breath as you wait for the guard pass, narrowly escaping. It wouldn’t be long until someone noticed the cell was empty. The moment he’s gone, you peel yourself away, and dart into the woods, hurrying towards the bridge. 
You slow your pace the moment the bridge comes into sight, the river serene and calm as it winds through the countryside, moonlight causing the water to sparkle. Taking a moment to survey the surroundings for any unwanted intruders, you exhale heavily. Finally, you were only a step away from achieving your heart’s desire: returning to your rightful time. 
Yet…..why did your heart feel so heavy? 
Your brain and heart were in turmoil, disagreeing with what each had to say. While your brain argued that it was only correct to return, your heart begged tearfully to stay and you knew exactly what, no who, was still tying you to this wretched place, with its malicious dangers and traps disguised as sunshine and freedom: Sangyeon.
How many times had your heart leapt at the sight of him? At the mere sound of his name, of his voice? Despite his betrayal and change of heart, you still loved him and you held onto the tiny shred of hope, like the light at the end of a pitch-black tunnel, that he still loved you as well. After all, Sangyeon had presented you the opportunity to escape by giving you the key. 
You shook your head, clearing the treacherous thoughts that threatened to take over your logic. No, whether your heart agreed or not, whether you would eventually regret it or not, you had to return home. You shuddered, imagining spending another day in Joseon, without your family or any of your friends. 
Advancing towards the bridge, you watch your flickering shadow pass on the wooden planks, the wood creaking slightly in protest under your weight. Leaning on the railing, you gazed at the lone fish darting underneath lily pads, its scales silver underneath the moonlight. Raising your head, you squinted at the sky. As if in response, it glowed brighter and you watched, astounded, as the clouds broke apart and light shone through, like an angel was descending to Earth. 
It shined down upon you, and you basked in it, your eyes barely open due to the sheer glare of the light, joy flooded your face as you rejoiced, as you awaited your return. Looking down, you gasped when you realized that you were slowly disappearing, your hands shimmering ghostly and when you tried to grip the railing of the bridge, your hands passed through. You guessed it meant that the nine-tailed fox was correct, and that it would effectively bring you back to the future.
Pounding footsteps alert you of another presence and you whirl around, the strands of your hair dancing wildly in the breeze. Your eyes meet Sangyeon’s and your heart plummets, raising your hands shakily to keep him away from the light. You couldn’t risk him altering history and travelling to the future with you, even if it sounded tempting.
 “What are you doing here?” you shout, panic rising, shaking your head repeatedly as he tries to take a step closer. 
“Your letter.” Sangyeon stated simply, voice trembling, full of emotion, of denial, fear and sorrow, as his eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill over. A letter is clenched in his fist, familiar handwriting scrawled hastily on the faded surface.
“You’re joking right? From the future? You can’t be serious…” he whispers, hope ablaze in his eyes as he stops in his tracks, and your heart cries out, singing for him, for his touch, for his warmth to surround you once again. 
You don’t respond, gazing at him solemnly and the hope fades, like the final rays of the sun before twilight takes over. Sangyeon’s shoulders sag, defeated. “This is goodbye then?”  
“You know, I always thought you were acting weird. The (Y/n) I knew was haughty, snobbish and power-hungry but you were nothing like what the rumours said. At this point, I’m not even surprised you’re from the future.” he laughs bitterly, running his hands through his hair, tugging at the strands roughly as he starts pacing in tight circles, distraught. 
Glancing down at your body, you notice that you’re almost transparent, the light erasing you from this world that you were never supposed to even be in. “Sangyeon.” you call, ceasing his pacing as you beckon for him, longing to hold his face in your hands and take in his breathtaking beauty, shining so brightly that you were positive you would never forget, even when you were wrinkled and gray from age. 
“I love you.” you tell him sincerely, hands reaching up to cup his cheeks but they pass through, and Sangyeon’s eyes widen in alarm when you start fading. 
“Wait!” he screams, lunging towards you to hold you, to do anything to stop you from leaving, but you’re already disappearing, your face blurring as you smile at him, fighting back tears. Just as suddenly as it appears, the odd light disappears back into the clouds, like it was never there. Sangyeon expects you to still be standing there, to embrace him and grace him with that lovely smile but you’re gone. Sangyeon is left by himself, standing still on the bridge, the wind tousling his hair, each strand dancing individually as he slumps, heartbroken.
Suddenly, it was like the world was drained of its colours. The sky was no longer a hopeful image of promising love and dreams, instead a mocking gray filled with dull stars that didn’t sparkle as brightly like they did when he saw them with you. Collapsing on the bridge, he cries, tears falling freely as he hugs himself, chest heaving as he tries to breathe steadily, his whole body racking with the painful sobs that threaten to rip him apart, broken apologies and pleas falling from his trembling lips.
“I love you too.” 
He repeats the phrase over and over again, as if it alone, would bring you back to his side and fill the emptiness in his heart. 
This was never supposed to happen. 
»»————-  ————-««
“(Y/n). (Y/n!)”
Distantly, you hear a faraway voice, desperate and fearful, calling out to you. Regaining consciousness, your eyes flutter open, taking in the familiar surroundings. Recognizing the corridor, you sigh, relieved. Turning your head, you notice your friend, kneeling at your side. 
“Are you alright?” she gasps, lifting your head gently to check for any wounds. When she finds none, she smiles faintly, glad, before her gaze travels down to examine your face. “Have you been crying?” she questions, bewildered.
Your eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, cheeks blotchy and she could see the remnants of tears dried on them. You ignore her question, heart aching again as you remember Sangyeon’s panicked and distraught face as he reached out to you, only to grasp empty air. You accept her helping hand, groaning when the world spins and you clutch onto your head, closing your eyes for a moment to stabilize yourself. 
You slowly walk out of the corridor, taking wobbly steps to reunite with your group. Your face lights up when you notice the familiar group of tourists, and you quicken your pace, ignoring your friend’s attempts of slowing you down. Gasping, you bump into someone’s back, almost throwing you off balance until you’re steadied by him, large hands supporting you. Looking up, the apology dies in your throat as you’re met with a familiar face.
Sangyeon?
Recognition floods you as your eyes rove over the slopes and angles of the male’s face.  He looked eerily similar to Sangyeon and you almost laughed at the coincidence. Life just kept on surprising you when you least expected it.
In front of you, the man apologizes and offers you a smile. “Have we met?” he questions, tilting his head, and your heart soars at the familiarity of it.
You hide your smile, looking down at your feet as memories surfaced, of kisses stolen in corridors and sweet nothings whispered at night, when Sangyeon had thought you were asleep.
“No, I don’t think so. I’m (Y/n).” you state, offering your hand.
“Sangyeon.” he grins, eyes crinkling adorably as he grips your hand, shaking it firmly and your cheeks involuntarily flush at the warmth of his hand enveloping yours.
Even if your love had happened almost 600 years ago, somehow life had bound you together again and you swore you saw a glimpse of the delicate red string that encircled your pinky, connecting yours with his before it disappeared. You listen to him talk, nodding along absentmindedly. Perhaps you were soulmates. 
At that, the clouds break apart, revealing the moon, illuminating the area, washing the stone in silvery tones, as if showing its approval. 
»»————-  ————-««
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ready-to-obeyme · 4 years
Note
Can you do a weeding head canon for Satan pls? Please please please. Thank you so much for you time
Wedding Headcanons for Satan/Reader
wow four pages just like his birthright lol
*:゚*。⋆ฺ(*´◡`) I love thinking about weddings!! hope you like it! 🌺 kept it gender neutral as usual
EDIT: ltskjdlafskj tumblr didn’t save my FORMATTING (cries) hhhhh but hope it looks okay now!
where they get married
England, probably, if you chose a human place to get married at, but not in the city
i can imagine a cozy little cottage near a lake, set up a veranda and tables and chairs and there you have it; definitely outdoors 
when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc. )
Early spring, late morning
very peaceful time of the year
If we want to get specific, most likely March when the breeze is cool and gentle and the foliage is lush and green
what traditions they include ( do they get married under a chuppah and crush a glass, garter toss, ‘something borrowed, something blue,’ etc. )
It probably sprinkles a little bit the morning of the wedding-- which is good luck, Satan reassures you
Throwing rice at the newlyweds over confetti-- mainly because it’s biodegradable and the wedding is outdoors 
(had to search this up but) Satan, devious as he is, asks to do the garter toss
Basically, you wear a garter (that can match your wedding night lingerie wink wink) and he takes it off using his teeth or hands
Satan uses his hands-- but that doesn’t mean he can’t make it as intimate and alluring as he possibly can, making sure you’re aware of where his hands are on your leg as he shoots a coy look up at you just to see you blush
if you’re uncomfortable being that intimate in front of your family, no problem-- he can always just take it off later when you’re alone together
definitely hands or tosses the garter smugly at his brothers next time he sees them just to watch them scream
what their wedding cake looks like
small, four tiered cake decorated with pink peonies and light pink roses, accented by green leaves and gold
matches the bouquet!
….who smashes cake into whose face
you think and even plan it the moment the two of you decide to get married that it would be you
Satan surprises you by getting the jump and smushing cake onto yours first
gracefully lets you smash cake into his face too, a wide smile on his face the entire time
who proposed to who first
you think the cake is revenge for the fact you beat him to the punch and asked him to marry you first (after he says yes)
Satan was slightly miffed because he planned a whole getaway and everything to ask you 
tells you as much with a pout as you laugh 
gives you the ring he bought you and gifts you with something else during the getaway instead of the ring
who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar ( or neither )
Satan refuses to be walked down the aisle by Lucifer, so he stubbornly stays at the altar (with Asmo as his best man and probably Lucifer as one of his groomsmen)-- which honestly, works for him
the flutter in his chest and the way you look incandescently beautiful as you walk down the aisle takes his breath away
loves the traditional wedding, Satan is a sucker for romantic cliches considering his proclivities for novels-- he's undoubtedly has thought of you in this very moment before a real proposal was ever on his mind the sap
what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like
one thing is for certain: Satan does not get to dress himself
And honestly neither should I but here it goes
Asmo and Lucifer help him choose the tuxedo to go with the color theme (green) 
Grey, three-piece suit with an accented forest-green signature bowtie
White button-up shirt inside
Accented with a very, very pale pink rose pinned on the lapel of his suit
what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have
Pastel and forest green with gold accents
Very nature-esque considering the outdoor location 
Considering this happens on a grassy area, the walkway is scattered with flowers, the arch is decorated with peonies and roses 
what flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean? )
Pink Peonies - represents honor, romance, beauty, and bashfulness
Pink roses - playful innocence/sensitivity
White daisies - true love, new beginning
Satan would have loved to thrown in an orange lily somewhere, but considering his color is GREEN, Asmo fought against it heavily -- but it would have symbolized a passion for life
Throw in some green in there too to match the theme and balance out the bouquet 
what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. )
It's not that Satan can't be original, but it's more like he believes the traditional vows are still true and romantic to this day; definitely customizes it to fit him more 
“With this ring, I give you my heart. I promise from this day forward, you shall not walk alone, may my heart be your shelter, and my arms be your home.”
He definitely does add the bits of poetry he's written about you-- highlighting the ways he has fallen for you and how you make him feel at home with you
Levi calls him a sap but he dries his tears with a tissue during the proceedings so his comment is invalid-- this scene is too perfectly anime to not love 
he's an intellectual and a man of books: he's definitely got a way with words and spent weeks forming the best vow that encompasses everything he would ever want to say to you
if there was a day he’d say all the tender feelings he had for you, today was the day (out of the many days from thence on)
is surprised when you cry and secretly pleased-- makes (more) vows to tell you how much you mean to him more
if anyone’s late to the wedding
bye jk
wedding would be pretty small so doubtful there would be late comers (unless you have a large family and would like to invite them)
wouldn't roast anyone on your side for coming late; very understanding about it
if any of his side comes late, he'll say something to playfully tell them off or be exasperated but not surprised 
but honestly it doesn't really matter to him because at the end of the day, he loves his family and he couldn't be happier to know they're there for him on his special day
who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other
Lucifer -- and not just by default; Satan asked him specifically to be a part of his groomsmen
Lucifer was very soft about it, not that either of them will acknowledge it
tbh kind of hard not to just assume all the bros wouldn't be the groomsmen but if we had to choose a typical three, the other two would be Asmo (best man) and Mammon
who gives speeches at the reception ( bonus: what do they say? recount a sweet memory or two between them? tell an embarrassing story? )
Lucifer was the one to bear witness to another side of Satan when he made a pact with you, so undoubtedly he would talk about that just to embarrass Satan
Satan would never say it, but he’s warm thinking that Lucifer would remember something like that
I actually think his speech would be very emotional, considering the rocky relationship those had had and how much they each have grown and mended their bond
Satan tears up and squeezes your hand, though he is embarrassed when you smile at him knowingly
his other brothers probably sneak in speeches of their own about Satan's angstier days-- hoping to squeeze as many funny stories they’ve collected over the thousands of years living together as brothers
they're lucky Satan is in a good mood the entire day so he won't throttle them lmao
who catches the bouquet( s )
Solomon, the crafty bastard
Satan wishes he was more surprised
Asmo doesn't stop whining to Solomon the entire night
what their wedding photos are like ( are they sweet, with the couple holding hands or kissing or ~gazing into each others eyes~? are they silly, with a snapshot of the ‘cake-smash’ moment? or are they artistic, with one of them facing the sunset or holding their bouquets? )
Satan is a photographer-- of course he's going to go all out and memorialize the event
probably has been keeping a scrapbook of your relationship ever since you both went steady and tbh he might have to start a completely new photobook just for the journey from engagement to wedding
the wedding photos of you in your wedding outfit are personally taken by him-- there is no one else that can capture the way your eyes crinkle with joy or the soft glow of your smile at dusk
if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then you would be the most beautifully wedded person the world has ever seen in the photos Satan has taken of you
literally cannot get enough of you in your outfit that you have to tell him to stop so you can actually have photos of him and with him
trusts Asmo to make sure that they look on point and that the photographer takes good pictures of everything during the reception and wedding itself
just as much tender moments as there are silly moments; Satan loves them all
what sort of food they have at the reception
if they have their wedding in the human realm, then Satan would let you handle the food considering he knows more devildom food (food which may alarm normal people)
agrees to most of your choices, taking into consideration any allergies
what can I say? he's a reasonable guy
also he knows Beel would finish everything if anything
Definitely chooses the tea to be served during desserts though 
who cries first during the ceremony
in comparison with Satan, you probably cry first, but Satan is definitely not far off from joining you after
it's one of the happiest days of both of your lives after all
how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc. )
I stand by the fact Satan has pretty low tolerance for alcohol and you bet Asmo (and Mammon) helped plan everything and bought a TON of alcohol 
Satan gets drunk quick and is extremely sappy with you the entire night cannot stop saying how happy he is that you chose him of all people, that he promises to make you as happy as he can, and that he loves you
bless Lucifer for keeping his brothers in check during the wedding; god knows what would happen otherwise 
what their rings are like
Satan likes a simple gold band on his ring finger, though he wouldn't mind an engraving inside
if you do get something engraved, he'll get melty if it's a message for him or something that commemorates your relationship (he probably likes thay it's like the engraving on the One Ring in Lord of the Ring)
he gets you a diamond ring on a gold band 
simple can go a long way!
what sort of favours they have ( heart shaped sparklers, mini champagne bottles, personalized candy etc. )
I actually don’t think you have any party favors; I imagined it to be a quaint, small wedding
Guests can take home the centerpieces and decorations though-- and the rice, if they didn’t throw it all at you lol 
where they go for their honeymoon
somewhere with a lot of history and lots of things to see and do the man is an explorer and the next chapter of his life is with you
type to keep the romance alive by whisking you away into experiencing something new
idk why but I'm getting Belgium or Germany vibes for the honeymoon 
something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony ( do they run out of ice and someone goes to get it in full formal wear on foot, does anyone fall asleep in the middle of the party, etc. )
asides from the typical House of Lamentation excitement (ie. Asmo flirting with everyone, Beel eating out every table, Mammon trying to steal the silverware, Belphie sleeping underneath every table at some point)
they run out of alcohol pretty quickly so Beel (almost completely sober) and Mammon (drunk) go out to get more while being supervised by (an admittedly tipsy) Lucifer-- and come back with a boatload of more alcohol and McDonalds froes two hours later 
(i mean, combine a voracious appetite, a big spender, and a man who doesn’t make the best decisions when drunk is basically ASKING for something memorable to happen)
dear lord guys its almost 12am who do you think is gonna drink all of this wine and beer
also asmo definitely steals the wedding bouquet from solomon 
who officiates the ceremony
definitely not a priest (haha) 
I have an odd feeling it would be Barbatos
I think people would think he’s a priest anyways, asides from the teal highlight in his hair 
what song their first dance is to
Everything - Michael Buble + Choreo gotta love youtube
Playful, happier dance
Lots of swaying motions and looking at each other’s faces and just laughing 
(im so soft aaaaa)
A celebratory dance to start off the rest of your life together
sidenote: My friend was kind to note that the guy in the video’s outfit matches Satan’s butler where there’s a funky tie tucked into the vest too alskdfjsldkjf
Asmo couldn’t convince Satan otherwise to not wear the vest but it’s okay because all the two of you can focus on is each other anyways
who gives who away as they walk down the aisle
Satan doesn’t walk down the aisle, but Asmo (as best man), Lucifer, and Mammon stand beside him
Lucifer thinks it's endearing how much Satan fidgets until he sees you, then he's too enamored to remember to be nervous
Asmo thinks everything is picture-perfect; all according to plan
Mammon keeps crying into his sleeves
Satan watches you walk down the aisle, sees you beam at him, and it takes his breath away
nothing can take his gaze off you now 
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equalseleventhirds · 4 years
Note
I haven’t seen much of the show anymore mostly because I’m not really interested in TMA anymore and because the show’s writing in the whole trauma areas is really triggering to me as someone who is mentally ill and has trauma. Can we talk more about this shows’ abuse apologism? I hate how the show constantly blames characters like Jon, Anges or Micheal for being monsters as if it was their choice when they were 1/4
Obviously being manipulated against their will or had no other choice but to lose their humanity for the sake of their own survival. I hate how the writing in S5 is making Jon turn into this manipulative abusive asshole simply because “he’s a monster now” by taking people’ humanities away and guilt tripping them or going as far as to attack someone simply because they were in a panic about their own child only to then insult them. He’s even compared to his own abusers Elias and Jude. 2/4
3/4 Elias who gaslighted, groomed, and manipulated Jon into causing the fucking apocalypse and ended up giving Jon a serious mental fucking break down is being compared to Jon who is a trauma survivor or would be, if arguably, the show was written better. Does no one remember the end of season four including the show’s own writer??? 3/4
How did no one look over this writing and see how potentially dangerous it was to actual trauma survivors when there’s already a stigma surrounding them about all trauma survivors being likely to become abusers themselves? Comparing trauma survivors, yes even a horror setting, to their own abusers is fucking dangerous. Also, to anyone defending Jon in S5 simply because he was “traumatized”, just because you’re traumatized doesn’t give you an excuse to be an abusive dickhead to other people. 4/4 
hey anon, this was kiiiiiind of a lot to sort of throw at me? i sort of wish you had made your own post, because this is 0% related to the things i have talked about, but i’m gonna. try to address it.
because i think you’re wrong.
i don’t think the writing of tma blames jon, agnes, OR michael for what happened to them. i think it is very, very explicitly clear that none of them are to blame. some characters blame them, but the actual narrative takes a hard fucking line that they are not to blame for their abusers’ actions, and this is reiterated multiple times.
also i’m... not sure when you think jon was compared to elias and jude? like, jude did this whole pleading ‘you’re just like me pls don’t kill me’ thing but that was absolute villainous bullshit, and aside from it being stated a bunch that jon is NOT jonah, ppl don’t....... talk abt them???
i also don’t think jon in s5 is abusive? i’m not really sure where you get that idea. jon in s5 is dealing with a lot and occasionally snaps at people or makes bad choices, but he isn’t abusive. as someone who survived a fuckton of mental & emotional abuse, hearing jon called abusive is. hm. not great.
the two instances you are (i think?) bringing up are what he did to jordan kennedy and that time he yelled at one of helen’s victims? with jordan, jon was trying to help him. he did not ‘take away his humanity’; jordan did not become inhuman, any more than jon or martin would now be ‘inhuman’. he gave him some power and awareness he did not have before, because he wanted to help jordan stop suffering, and once jordan realized what this meant, jon offered to undo what he had done if jordan wanted it. he gave him a choice, a tough choice, but literally the entire world is in a tough situation. my abusers certainly did not attempt to give me agency or power.
with helen’s victim, jon was in an even tougher situation; he had just been pulled out of a statement which we know is jarring for him, he’d just (temporarily, but still) lost martin, his only friend in this hellscape, and helen was there next to him, needling him and making things worse. helen’s victim reached out to physically touch him, and jon panicked and snapped at her not to touch him. other than that he spent that scene with her offering to help and apologizing for the situation she was in. that is not abuse! him yelling at someone when his personal boundaries are encroached upon by a stranger, and then immediately trying to help her is not abuse! what the actual absolute fuck, anon.
i know you said you haven’t been listening to the show, so i really really hope that both of those incidents you didn’t actually listen to, only got through hearsay, bcos jon being an abusive
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mybiasisexo · 5 years
Text
Cold Shoulder 🥶
@byunfirstlady asks: Knock knock, another request 🌹 any exo boy you want with 26 and 65 please 🌻 also take your time!
a/n: we desperately need more Jongdae in our lives. Next drabble game pls send more of this soft hubby ok??? Also girl did I not take your ‘take your time’ seriously oh my lordt
DRABBLE GAME | MASTERLIST
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Jongdae seemed distracted lately. The two of you waited tables at the small diner in your town, and usually your shared shifts were spent teasing one another and cracking jokes, giving the rest of the crew a hard time. But the past three shifts were the complete opposite, with Jongdae virtually ignoring you the whole time.
It bummed you out, but you thought that maybe he had a lot on his plate lately, so you didn’t question him about his strange behavior.
It became a cause of concern when it visibly started affecting his work.
Like now, you watched as he went to wipe down a table, spilling the salt shaker in the process, causing a bigger mess. He swore under his breath, shoulders slumping as he went to clean the seasoning off the table. Oh, this wouldn’t do.
You were only a few tables away when it happened, so you breezed past him. “Isn’t that bad luck?”
“What is?” He asked, voice void of any amusement, which was a first.
You internally frowned, but pressed on. “Spilling salt. You’re supposed to throw it over your left shoulder or the devil will get you.”
“It’s a good thing I’m not superstitious then, huh?”
“Well, I am.” You took a pinch that still lingered and threw it over your left shoulder like you’d advised. He scoffed and headed into the back, you trailing after him.
“Alright, Jongdae,” you said once the two of you were in the privacy of the kitchen. “What’s going on with you? It feels like lately you don’t want anything to do with me.”
He sighed, eyes locking with your fellow coworkers who were in the same room, making it pretty obvious they were pretending they weren’t listening.
“Not here,” he finally replied, voice cold.
“Then when?” You pressed on. “You can’t keep giving me the cold shoulder! Especially if I don’t even know why!”
“I’ll explain everything later, okay?” He promised through gritted teeth.
“Jongdae! You’re needed out front! Table four!”
You watched in amazement as he changed his demeanor. His tight lips curling into an attractive polite smile as he headed out into the lobby.
You let out a shocked laugh, also catching the eyes of your nosy coworkers. “What?”
They all jumped from your question, rushing back to the tasks they were paid to do.
Finally, after working probably the tensest shift ever, you clocked out. Jongdae quickly ending his as well. He made a run for it, but you hastily blocked the door with your body.
“Not so fast!” You said and he sighed again.
“Can we at least do this outside?” He bartered and you allowed it, letting him lead you out to his car. You leaned against the vehicle as he played with the cobblestone of the parking lot. “Do you remember last Friday? At the work party?”
Oh, how you wanted to forget that cursed event. You had a growing crush on Jongdae for some time now, and at the party he had spent majority of his time by your side. That was, until the new girl waltzed in. She was gorgeous. All of the guys that worked with you thirsted over her like she was a lake—all except Jongdae. At least, that’s what you had thought, but the party proved otherwise when he gravitated towards her instantly, leaving you in the dust.
Your drunken mind drowned in jealousy and you did the only thing that seemed right at the time—you threw yourself over another coworker, Yixing, who was just as hot as her and unnervingly polite. You weren’t proud to admit that you took advantage of his niceness, making sure Jongdae had a full view of you getting close to someone who wasn’t him. It wasn’t soon after he left—alone—and you grew sober enough from guilt, leaving soon after.
You had hoped that had nothing to do with the way he had been treating you, but it turned out it must have.
“What about it?” You asked, defenses already building.
He laughed humorlessly. “Your message was well received. I’m giving you space since you want nothing to do with me anymore.”
“What the hell are you going on about, Jongdae?”
“The party! I left you for five minutes just for you to be all over Yixing! If the way you looked at me while you did it was any indicator, I would think you didn’t really want to be my friend. Message received! And to think I thought, I don’t know, maybe I’ve been reading too much into things, but I thought that you and I were growing closer? That, maybe, we were a little more than friends? But Friday night you definitely let me know we are nowhere as close as I thought we were.”
“Wait, wait,” you interrupted, raising you hand to stop him. Jongdae gulped, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation being had. “You thought we were ‘more than friends’?”
“You don’t have to mock me,” he muttered, glancing away embarrassingly. He shrugged, trying to make it nonchalant, but his neck was too stiff. “I get it, okay? We’re not. I’m sorry for liking you. As I said before, I got your message so… I’m reeling it back.”
You walked up to him, watching your breathes’ mingle in the cold night and bopped him on the head—hard.
“Ouch!” He whined loudly, rubbing the spot you hit. “What was that for?!”
“If you think I don’t feel anything for you, then you’re more stupid than I thought,” you revealed, feeling your face heat up despite the chilly air.
“Wait, what?” His eyes slowly widened with realization. “But… Yixing? Why…?”
“I was trying to make you jealous, Dummy!” You said with pinched eyes. “You had ditched me for Jennie and I got jealous! I wanted you to feel what I was feeling. I wanted you to see that I was unbothered by you not liking me because, damn it, Jongdae! I like you! Okay?”
It was silent as you both let the new information process.
“So…. You do like me…? Like that?” He asked quietly.
“Don’t make me hit you again,” you threatened. “Yes, Jongdae, I like your unsuperstitious ass!”
A pleased grin grew on his face. “I like you too.”
You both simply smiled at each other. Jongdae took the few steps left to close the gap between you, pulling his hands out his pockets so that he could hold your hips tightly. “Well, it must be a good thing you are, because I’m now the luckiest guy alive.”
“Ew,” you joked and you both laughed as he dipped his head to give you a tender kiss.
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artificialqueens · 5 years
Text
Not Nineteen Forever (10) (Branjie/Scyvie)- Ortega
a/n: are we all ready to read a chapter about Christmas on this day of our Lord August 3rd 2019? here’s chapter 10 of the wild ride that is n19f!! please please please if u love this fic then let me know, i’m starting work again soon so my motivation is going to be basically on the floor, so i need u lot to let me know u miss it and love it to give me the kick up the bum i need! enjoy xo
please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!
summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.
last chapter: Brooke and Vanessa admitted their feelings for each other, and everyone’s favourite set of flatmates all made up.
this chapter: it’s the annual big festive gathering before everyone goes home for the holidays. will Secret Santa gifts be a hit or a miss? will the Christmas dinner be edible? will Nina ever stop singing songs from Nativity?
***
Scarlet was woken up from her nap by a voice in the hall loudly singing a Christmas song. As she came to from her sleep-induced stupor she realised it was Nina that was singing, and that the song was Five More Days til Christmas by The Cheetah Girls. It was actually fifteen sleeps, but these kinds of semantics didn’t seem to matter to Nina, as her voice got muffled and she presumably went into a different room. Scarlet stirred and tapped Yvie on her back, marvelling at how skinny she seemed to be.
“Yvie,” she muttered, then louder as she woke up a little more and Yvie didn’t stir at all. “Yves. We gotta get ready, c’mon.”
“Mnmhh,” came Yvie’s voice from the pillow, as she turned around to bat her girlfriend away. Scarlet gave a soft laugh. They’d been working themselves practically to exhaustion for the past couple of weeks for their exams which they’d just finished the day before, and they were both so tired from constant library days and cramming nights that they’d decided on a 2pm nap. Scarlet looked at the giant Sweeney Todd-themed clock on Yvie’s wall, the razor blade hands showing her it was now five o’clock.
“Oh fuck, we really slept,” she chuckled, as Yvie pushed her curls out of her face and rubbed her eyes, scattering mascara clumps over her cheeks like squid-ink snow.
“The worst part about naps is waking up from them,” Yvie mumbled grumpily, Scarlet letting out a hoot of a laugh.
“Babe. That’s really fucking dark,” she rolled her eyes, leaning over and planting a kiss on her cheek. “Come on, get up and get that Christmas jumper on. I want my girlfriend to be the most festive bitch at the dinner!”
Yvie tried to roll her eyes at Scarlet but a big goofy smile stopped her from doing so. Scarlet smiled back and the pair of them pressed their foreheads together, grinning like idiotic Cheshire cats. Scarlet thought that it would never get boring to call Yvie her girlfriend. It was so crazy to believe that they’d been together for over a month, and it had been a whirlwind. She’d lost count of the amount of dates they’d been on (and the amount of times they’d slept with each other), but it hadn’t all been easy. Scarlet had had to hand in three essays as well as sit one exam, and Yvie had had four exams, all of which had been spread out over the past week. So as much as the first month of their relationship had been about great sex, adorable dates and enjoying their time together, much of it had been sharing stressful cramming sessions in the library, Yvie proofreading Scarlet’s essays, and Scarlet testing Yvie on her revision knowledge. There had been countless times where they’d wiped each others’ tears and cheered each other up when the other had thought they would absolutely fail or that they couldn’t do it anymore (and they’d both been through many of those moments, Scarlet noted). She would be the first to admit it had been stressful at times, but Scarlet wouldn’t have had it any other way. She’d revised alongside Yvie over exam periods previously, but this time was different because whenever Scarlet had hugged Yvie and reassured her or brought her an iced coffee back from Starbucks, Yvie had looked into her eyes with more gratitude and appreciation that Scarlet had ever been looked at with before.
But their exams and essays (and portfolios, in Brooke and Plastique’s case) were all done, and so there had been talk on the groupchat about some form of Christmas gathering before they all went home for the holidays. They all usually did something, at least to Scarlet’s knowledge- last year they had gone out for “festive drinks” (which was really just drinks- but Akeria had insisted that it was inherently festive because it was December), and apparently the year before they had all gone sledging at the big hill behind their student halls because it had been snowing. But this year they had decided that, in preparation for graduate life, they would host a classy and civilised potluck dinner. Everyone had picked one component of a classic Christmas dinner to cook, and Scarlet, who was far more confident baking than cooking, had made a lemon and strawberry meringue roulade for their pudding. It had been sitting in Yvie’s flat’s fridge overnight, taking up a substantial amount of room, and Scarlet was very proud of it. She desperately hoped everyone would like it. Scarlet knew that her friends were her friends and that they loved her, but sometimes her anxiety would convince her otherwise and exam season hadn’t helped her mental state. She was looking forward to what would hopefully be a good night, where the only drama would ideally be who had the last pig in blanket.
Yvie had finally got up off the bed and had grabbed her towel. “I’m going for a shower. Do you want one?”
Scarlet self-consciously sniffed herself. Smelling nothing, she frowned and turned to Yvie. “I don’t know. Do I stink?”
Yvie rolled her eyes theatrically. “Honestly, woman, the plots you hatch just so that you can get me to hug you.”
Scarlet stuck her tongue out at her girlfriend as Yvie moved across the room, wrapped her arms around her and buried her face in her neck, taking a big, over-exaggerated, disgustingly loud sniff. Scarlet squirmed away. “Ugh, Yvie! You’re fucking gross.”
“Well luckily, you’re not. You smell fine. But you can use any of my deodorant if you want to make sure. I’ll be five minutes,” Yvie said as she pulled away, muttering something under her breath. Recently Yvie had started mumbling incoherently, or beginning sentences and then cutting herself off, as if she was about to say something and she’d forgotten what it was. Scarlet couldn’t help herself wondering what the something could be. She hoped it was something nice. She’d tried asking Yvie to clarify what she’d said, but Yvie always just explained it away as talking to herself. Scarlet somehow knew that wasn’t the truth.
Scarlet pulled on the Christmas jumper she’d brought with her to Yvie’s flat; bright red with three dogs on it wearing Christmas headgear, and writing in sequins that read “Bark the Herald Angels Sing”. It was suitably the right mix of campy and classy and matched what Scarlet usually wore relatively well. Pausing before leaving Yvie’s room, Scarlet scrutinised her Secret Santa present. She’d drawn Brooke’s name, which her heart had sank at as she was arguably the girl she felt the least close to out of their whole group. She had so badly wanted to ask Yvie or Nina for advice on what to get her but they both were taking the whole thing deadly seriously so that plan had been out the window. Scarlet had settled on a gift bag full of Canadian snacks that she’d ordered from various online stockists, as she knew Brooke was getting homesick and had spoken about how much she’d missed Coffee Crisps. She had spent so long choosing everything and was really hoping Brooke would like it, and that it would bring them closer together.
Optimistically, Scarlet took her makeup through to the kitchen and hoped that Brooke or Nina would be there. Recently Scarlet had been spending more and more time at their flat. This was for three reasons- one, she loved spending as much time with Yvie as possible, two, she loved seeing her other two friends (and Monet and Vanjie, who also popped by quite often), and three, she would rather fling herself into the Eurotunnel and make a cosy bed out of the railway tracks than go back to her own shitty, leaky, breaky, messy flat where Ra’Jah was.
Sure enough, as Scarlet padded out into the hallway there was a variety of sounds behind the kitchen door. One was the tinny racket of Nina’s phone speakers blasting a different Christmas song. Another was Nina singing along. The third was a clatter of cooking utensils and the fourth, lots of swearing. Scarlet was almost afraid to go in.
The sight that met her was only the tiniest bit chaotic. Nina was dancing along to the song in a unique sort of way that seemed to include a lot of bouncing and ignoring Brooke, who was in front of the oven and facing three different pans of sauce, each a different colour. She seemed moments away from a stress-induced meltdown and had her hands in her hair, clutching at big fistfuls of it with frustration. Scarlet was barely given a chance to speak before Nina noticed her, jumped in front of her and pointed in her face, half-singing, half-shouting the song.
“Cause she’s blinding me with love, she’s my saviour from above!”
“Nina, I swear to God I will kill you,” Brooke snapped, before Nina beamed a smile and turned her attention to her flatmate.
“She’s the brightest star I’ve ever seen- brightest star!- It’s like we’re living in some kind of dream- like some kind of dream!” she continued, beginning to dab obnoxiously and making Brooke put her head in her hands. Scarlet burst out laughing as she saw Nina’s Christmas jumper- a riot of white snowflakes surrounding a dancing Santa, with “FLOSSING AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE” written in bright green.
“Oh my God, Nina. That’s quite the jumper,” Scarlet finally got a word in as the song reached an instrumental break. Nina’s happiness was slightly dented as she looked down at the horrific design and rolled her eyes.
“Ugh, don’t. I bought it for placement because the school did a Christmas jumper day- yes, in November, I know- and it was only really for the consumption of my class, but all my other Christmas jumpers are at home so looks like this is what I’m wearing. I love yours though!” Nina’s smile was back, reaching out and touching Scarlet’s sleeve as she sat down at the kitchen table. Scarlet thanked her, then cast a glance to Brooke.
“How’s cooking going?” she asked, nervous about the answer.
Brooke twirled round from the hob and mustered up a smile that Scarlet could tell was more for her benefit rather than it being in any way genuine. “Put it this way, I’m half expecting Gordon Ramsay to pop his head through the door and start screaming about sauce. I mean how did I fuck up gravy?!”
“It smells amazing! I don’t think it’ll be fucked up at all,” Scarlet said confidently. She wasn’t lying- the smells in the kitchen were delicious- but she knew Brooke was a giant perfectionist and if she’d messed up even the tiniest part of the recipe she would see it as a total failure.
“It would help if my flatmate didn’t insist on giving me the one-woman version of Nativity as I’m making them, like a fucking expert level of Ready Steady Cook,” Brooke side-eyed Nina, who somehow heard her comment over the music and her own singing. Nina budged Brooke out of the way of the oven, grabbed a teaspoon and dipped it into the gravy. Tasting it, she laughed.
“Christ, Brooke, it just needs more salt. And wine. If in doubt, always add salt and wine.”
Appeased, Brooke continued cooking. Scarlet gave a sideways glance at Nina from her position at the kitchen table and paused her contouring. “Nina, what were you cooking again?”
“Carrots. They’re cooking away. I do them in garlic and honey and they’re just amazing,” Nina explained, grabbing a half-empty glass of wine from the kitchen counter and sitting down opposite Scarlet to keep her company. It was only then that it occurred to Scarlet that Nina was very clearly already on her way to being drunk.
“If you do say so yourself,” Brooke piped up.
“If I do say so myself,” Nina gave a wink, downing the rest of her glass. She turned excitedly to Scarlet. “Also girl, Jesus. That roulade’s been calling my name all damn day. You’re lucky you’ve got something to bring tonight, because you almost didn’t.”
Scarlet gave a shy shrug and suddenly thought she might not need any blusher if she got any more compliments from her friends. “I hope it’ll taste alright. I’m relatively confident that it will, though, so don’t worry about going hungry!”
“If it doesn’t, I still have so much Christmas chocolate that the kids got me for finishing up. We can crack that open. Are you staying tonight, Scarlet?”
Scarlet cast a quick, nervous glance to Brooke, who was busy with her pans. She was always conscious of imposing on Nina and Brooke, hyper-aware that it wasn’t her flat and she didn’t pay rent and she never wanted to stay too often. In this case, however, the answer was a yes, and Scarlet nodded carefully to Nina as she did her eyebrows. Nina gave an excited clap.
“Aah! Exciting! I won’t be in this evening but I’ll see you tomorrow I’m sure.”
“You got to see a girl about her cat?” Brooke piped up, turning around from the stove and quirking an eyebrow. Nina glared up at her, unimpressed.
“If you’re insinuating that I have a pussy appointment…” she curled her lip up in distaste. “…then yes. But come on, it’s not like that. At least, it isn’t to me, I still don’t know what the fuck she’s thinking.”
Scarlet smiled as Nina grew a little quieter. Nina always got a little more shy, a little more reserved, a little more flustered at the mere hint of a mention of Monet. It was just cute enough to be adorable and not vomit-worthy.
“You should just do what me and Vanjie are doing. We know we like each other and we know we like having sex with each other. It’s a good place to be in,” Brooke shrugged, evidently satisfied with her sauces and pouring each of the contents of the pans into three different tupperware boxes. Scarlet snorted a laugh.
“You missed out the part where you pined after each other for two years,” she explained, Nina hooting a laugh and thumping the table. Brooke folded her arms, trying to look exasperated but being unable to hide her smile.
“Okay, I don’t think any of us get a say in how to conduct a relationship.”
“Well all I’ll say, Brooke, is that Vanjie won’t be happy with that arrangement forever. Sooner or later you’ll have to upgrade her to girlfriend status, because she sure as hell does not strike me as the type of girl who’ll ask you first,” Nina said matter-of-factly. Brooke exhaled deeply.
“Christ, this is like that nightmare I had about being on Loose Women. Look, just leave us to it, okay? We’re happy! It’s working,” Brooke shrugged lightly, clicking the lids onto her tupperware boxes.
“What’s working?” came a voice, as Yvie entered the kitchen. Her curls were still a little damp but her makeup was perfect- though admittedly, everything about her was perfect in Scarlet’s eyes.
“Your Mum’s prostitution company,” Brooke retorted, Yvie ignoring her and giving Scarlet a kiss on top of her head.
“You look nice, baby,” she murmured against her hair, Scarlet lighting up at the compliment.
“You know whenever you say nice things about me, my heart grows ten times in size?” Scarlet said matter-of-factly. Nina raised an eyebrow as she moved to the oven and removed a large baking tray with foil over the top of it.
“That sounds like you should see a doctor. Are we almost ready to go?”
“I just need to change into my jumper, two seconds,” Brooke said as she left the room. Scarlet turned around in her seat to see Yvie’s outfit. She had on the black ripped jeans that Scarlet loved so much, her usual Docs, and a navy blue jumper with “MERRY CHRISTMAS, YA FILTHY ANIMAL” on it in white writing.
“Of course your favourite Christmas movie is Home Alone,” Scarlet smiled affectionately. Yvie frowned at her.
“I’ve never seen it?”
Scarlet screwed up your face. “Your jumper has a quote from it?”
Yvie looked down at the design. “Oh, does it? I just liked the sentiment, to be honest.”
Scarlet snorted and then began packing up all her makeup. Soon enough, all four of the girls had their potluck items (and their Secret Santa gifts) and were ready to leave, but not before Brooke had proudly shown them all her amazingly tacky jumper which was green and patterned like a Christmas tree, covered in knitted baubles, sparkly silver tinsel-like material, and a full set of in-built battery-operated fairy lights. All the way to Silky’s flat, the girls had many questions for Brooke (“Does the tinsel not itch?” “How do you wash it?” “Is there a possibility that you could go on fire mid-dinner?”) and the endless chatter tided them over until they reached the girls’ stairwell. They had to buzz twice before they were let in, but eventually they reached the front door which was flung open by Plastique, wearing a very on-brand white jumper with “Dear Santa…I can explain!” on the front in sequins.
“Hey guys! Merry Christmaaas!” she cried, hugging them all happily and letting them in. “I’ve been put on door duty. The girls are all having a meltdown in there, it’s like Cutthroat Kitchen and Hell’s Kitchen and Masterchef all rolled into one, if the object of these shows was to kill all the contestants instead of making anything relatively edible.”
“You could say it’s…” Brooke began, pausing dramatically. “…a Kitchen Nightmare.”
Plastique immediately began pushing her back out the door. “Get the fuck out, you’re uninvited.“
“God, imagine having to make an effort for the potluck. Can’t relate,” Yvie shrugged peacefully, holding her offering up in the air smugly. The girls all groaned.
“Frozen fucking peas,” Nina shook her head. “You are the luckiest bitch, I swear to God.”
“Not fast, you’re last, bitch,” Yvie smiled, clearly happy that she had shotgunned the item that took the least amount of effort to make.
The five girls tentatively opened the door to the kitchen, where the air seemed to be slightly cloudy with smoke. The window was wide open and there was so much sound that Scarlet felt she needed ear defenders. From the speakers, the hum of the extractor fan, and the three girls that were working away, there was an impressive wall of noise being created.
“And this Christmaaaaaas will be, a very merry Christmaaaaaas, for me!”
“Silk, can you shut the fuck up for a second? I need to check my veg!”
“Oh yeah, that’s right, sorry Vanj, I forgot you need to be able to hear to check on a fuckin’ roasting tray!”
“Somethin’s burning, I’m tellin’ y’all.”
“If it’s my stuff you know I’ll kill you all, right?” Plastique piped up, the three girls turning around and instantly lighting up when they saw their friends. Vanessa immediately rushed forward to Brooke, the taller girl greeting her with a “Hey, gorgeous” and a kiss. Scarlet and Yvie were both hugged at once by Akeria, and Silky and Nina seemed to be making a good effort to crush each other to death. Scarlet noticed each of their Christmas jumpers and thought they were all very fitting: Vanessa’s was red and had two gold baubles on its front which were very strategically placed, Akeria’s was almost identical to Nina’s except hers said “TWERKING AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE”, and Silky’s was blue with “Hoe Hoe Hoe” written in cursive silver glitter.
“Ladies, welcome to the Michelin-starred Antigua Road kitchen,” Akeria said with a flourish, Scarlet having to hold back a laugh at her optimism.
“Y’know, I never understood why they named that after an Eastenders character,” Silky pondered aloud, Nina instantly howling with laughter and swatting at her.
“You dumb bitch! Phil fucking Mitchell?!”
The kitchen promptly erupted with laughter, Scarlet having to cling to Akeria she was giggling so much.
“Nah, bitch, they named it after that tyre man. You know, Michelin?” Vanessa piped up, everyone promptly losing their shit again. The girl looked put out and pouted up at Brooke. “What the fuck you hoes laughing for?! That’s what it is!”
“I don’t think they named a restaurant rating system after a tyre company, Vanj,” Brooke smiled down at her affectionately. Clearly seeing she was looking dejected, Brooke gave her waist a squeeze and kissed her on the cheek. Vanessa seemed to cheer up after that and began enthusiastically beckoning them all through to Akeria’s room. Scarlet was impressed by what was there. The girls had moved their dining table through to the biggest room in the flat and had managed to combine enough kitchen chairs, stools and wheely desk chairs to create a table that could fit all seven of them. Each place had been set with plates, cutlery and wine glasses with a small paper napkin propped up on each plate and a cracker at one side, and there was a huge space in the middle of the table to hold all the food.
“I spent way too long on this, but I’m proud of it,” Vanessa smiled happily, the girls all congratulating her.
“This looks amazing! Well done, boo,” Brooke smiled, kissing her on the cheek again. Scarlet watched as Vanjie’s face lit up. With a small dip to her heart, she remembered Nina’s words from earlier. She really hoped that Vanessa and Brooke were on the same page about their relationship.
Everyone began to put their food out on the table, except Scarlet who decided to save her roulade for later on. Brooke set out her sauces and Nina took the foil off her carrots with a flourish, the smell of roast garlic instantly wafting through the room. It took Yvie mere minutes to get her peas ready and she carried them through from the kitchen in a jug, Plastique following her with some delicious-looking pigs in blankets and stuffing balls, each with a shiny, sticky glaze.
“Oh my Christ, Plastique, they look incredible,” Nina practically drooled. “Did you make them?”
Plastique snorted. “Jesus, no. M&S.”
“God, Plastique, I know you’re fucking rich but there was no need to bankrupt yourself,” Brooke rolled her eyes. Yvie smirked and joined in.
“How much did that cost you? Eighty pounds?”
“Is that stuffing made from gold leaf?” Nina quipped.
“I’ll stuff you in a second! Do you want to eat them or not?” Plastique bit back, a warning glare in her eyes that made the girls pipe down. In the silence, Scarlet found herself sniffing the air.
“Something’s definitely burning in there,” she frowned, as Akeria came through with a bowl of Brussels sprouts and set them on the table.
“I keep trying to tell those two, but they won’t listen to me,” she nodded, looking happily at the food in front of her.
“Why did you even bother with sprouts?” Yvie screwed up her nose. Scarlet swatted at her.
“Hey! I’ll eat them! I like sprouts.”
“Ugh, don’t. I have to share a bed with you tonight. Has anyone got a fucking gas mask?”
The girls burst out laughing as Scarlet rolled her eyes and thumped Yvie, before the other girl pulled her in for a hug. They were interrupted by Nina’s surprised voice, the girl looking at her phone intently.
"Oh shit. Vanjie, you were right. It is named after the tyre company.”
“Suck my ENTIRE dick, hoes!” she yelled excitedly before running through to the kitchen to continue gloating, Brooke groaning at having been proved wrong. Akeria rolled her eyes and motioned at the chairs.
“Ladies, sit! It won’t be long.”
Sure enough, as everyone had taken their seats, Vanjie and Silky brought their food through from the kitchen. Vanjie looked pleased as she put two bottles of wine and a tray of roast potatoes and parsnips on the table, then sat down. Brooke whispered something into her ear, presumably more praise by the way Vanessa smiled. Silky didn’t look as pleased.
“So…the bad news is…”
“The turkey looks like a fuckin’ dementor?” Akeria piped up, laughter exploding around the table. Silky narrowed her eyes at her flatmate.
“…the turkey is burnt…” Silky finished. “The good news is I ordered a fourteen piece bargain bucket and it’ll be here soon.”
“That’s chicken?” Plastique screwed up her face, confused. Silky rolled her eyes as she sat down.
“It’s a fuckin’ bird, alright!”
“Well, I ain’t had cranberry sauce and fried chicken before, but there’s always a first for everything,” Vanessa shrugged, casting a hand across the table. “Okay, ladies, start!”
Even though there wasn’t any turkey, it was still an amazing meal. Everyone’s food tasted delicious and when the KFC arrived, most of the girls were open to trying it as part of their Christmas dinner (except Plastique, who put hers on a sideplate and ate it separately). They pulled their crackers and got Brooke to read out all the shit jokes (“She’s queen of shit jokes!”) and all ended up with flimsy paper crowns on their heads. In between eating they all talked about how their exams had gone. Nina seemed the most nervous about her essays as she, out of everyone in their group, was the one who was the most desperate for a first, with Akeria a close second. Silky was her classic blasé self, confident she would get the marks she wanted, although as Scarlet watched the worried look that passed between Akeria and Vanjie she wasn’t so sure. Eventually everyone’s plates were empty and Yvie, Brooke and Plastique took them through to the kitchen and washed up as Scarlet set out her dessert. Soon enough, everyone was munching away and Scarlet felt she was about to burst with everyone’s compliments about how incredible and tasty it was.
“Okay, guys,” Plastique said through a mouthful of roulade. “Can we please do the Secret Santa now? Please please please?”
“Oh my God YES!” Vanjie grinned, thumping the table and sending her fork flying. “Let’s go, I want my present!”
“Alright, bitches, calm down! Okay, I’ll start,” Yvie said, reaching behind her and into her bag and pulling out a small gift bag. “I had…Miss Akeria.”
Akeria gave a yelp of delight and reached her hands across the table for her present, mouthing a thanks to Yvie. Peering inside the bag, she abruptly closed it and doubled over laughing, tears squeezing out the corners of her eyes.
“What is it?!” Scarlet asked, looking from Yvie to Akeria expectantly. Yvie attempted to explain, but she was too busy killing herself laughing like the other girl. Still howling, Akeria pulled out three things from the bag- a white ashtray with “BUTTS” written in the centre, a small plush donkey, and a pink silk eye mask which said “Booty Sleep”. As the room began to register the link, everyone began hooting with laughter at the ass-themed gifts.
“Jesus Christ, Yves, that is so perfect,” Scarlet shook her head as she clutched at her stomach.
“Oh my God, thank you, Yvie. It’s amazing,” Akeria wiped the final tears of laughter from her eyes and took a big deep breath. “Okay, mine isn’t nearly as good as that. But I got my good old flatmate…Vanessa Vanjie Mateo.”
Vanessa showed more excitement than an infant on Christmas Day as she opened her present and found a huge stack of DVDs tied with a red bow. As she leafed through it, her smile grew.
“I know that we got Netflix and that,” Akeria explained to her, looking the closest to shy that Scarlet had ever seen her look as long as she’d known her. “But I thought it might be cute.”
“Kiki…” Vanessa smiled up at her then trailed off, as she explained to the others. “These are all my favourite movies that we all watch together all the time…She’s The Man…The Proposal…10 Things I Hate About You-”
“Yeah, they’re pretty much all rom-coms,” Akeria cut in, getting another laugh from the girls. Vanessa got up and hugged her flatmate, thanking her and fussing over her until Plastique started clamouring for more present-giving.
“Alright, ya filthy whores!” Vanessa exclaimed, producing a haphazardly-wrapped present from under her seat. “I got Yvie’s bitch a.k.a…Scarlet!”
Scarlet found her face lighting up in surprise. She’d had no idea as to who had got her, but she was glad it was Vanjie. Thanking her, she reached over to take the present and opened it excitedly. Inside was a shiny silver photo frame with crystals outlining its edge, and in the frame was a selfie that featured all seven of them from a night out they’d had months ago. Scarlet recognised it because it was her cover photo on Facebook. She loved it because they all looked so happy together, and it had been taken on one of those nights out where everything just went right, and so many hilarious things seemed to happen, and there was no drama at all. Scarlet looked up at Vanessa who was smiling happily. She knew Scarlet loved it.
“Vanjie this is so cute, what the hell!” Scarlet exclaimed, turning the frame around to show the girls. The room was filled with “aaw”s, until Brooke frowned and squinted at the frame.
“What does it say?” she asked, Scarlet turning the picture over, confused until she spotted the small engraved quote at the bottom. Scarlet felt as if she would cry as she read it out.
“Best friends forever, never apart, maybe in distance but never at heart,” she smiled, getting up and squeezing Vanessa in a hug. “Vanjie, it’s adorable. Thank you so much.”
Vanessa blushed as Scarlet pulled away. “Stop bein’ all mushy, bitch, and tell us who you had!”
“Oh, right,” Scarlet said, tucking a bit of her hair behind her ears and reaching down to the gift bag at the floor. “Brooke, this is for you.”
Brooke’s eyebrows shot up as she smiled in surprise and took the bag from Scarlet. Scarlet’s heart thrummed with nerves as Brooke looked in, her eyes widened, and she let out a scream.
“Oh my GOD! Scarlet!!” Brooke cried, Scarlet jumping as Brooke hopped out of her seat and immediately sprinted round to Scarlet’s side of the table to give her a hug. She began explaining to the others as she retreated back to her seat to have a proper look in the bag. “She got me all my favourite things from back home…there’s actual maple syrup…oh my God, Swiss Chalet sauce! There’s fucking Ruffles All Dressed in here…oh my Jesus. There’s so many fucking Coffee Crisps! Scarlet, fuck, thank you so much.”
Scarlet could barely stop herself from smiling, happy her gift had had the desired effect. The present-swapping continued. Brooke had Silky and gave her a huge holographic makeup bag with “LESS GUYS, MORE FRIES” on the side, which Silky insisted she would use as a clutch bag when going out. Silky gave her present to Plastique- a set of expensive nail varnishes and a keyring with the entire lyrics to Vroom Vroom by Charli XCX on it in tiny font.
“My fucking anthem, bitch, yaas!” Plastique cried, clearly happy with her gift.
Plastique gave Nina a hand-stitched hessian carrier bag with “Miss West” on the side in red sequins, which Nina was very excited to use for all her marking. The final present to be gifted was from Nina to Yvie, who got given a little alarm clock in the shape of a headstone which played “Spooky Scary Skeletons” as its alarm sound.
“I was just fucking sick of hearing that iPhone alarm going off for minutes on end every morning, so this’ll be a nice change,” Nina explained, as Yvie laughed and thanked her.
Soon enough, all the wine bottles became empty and the night soon drew to an end. Plastique offered to give Nina a lift to Monet’s flat and the two of them left first, leaving the three hosts, Brooke, Yvie and Scarlet. Brooke was slightly slumped in her seat from the effort it was taking her to tuck her head into the crook of Vanjie’s neck, who turned and kissed her on the forehead.
“You sleepy, baby?” she muttered, Brooke nodding lethargically. The two of them concluded that Brooke would stay the night with Vanessa and so Scarlet gathered her things, thanked the girls for a lovely evening, and left arm-in-arm with Yvie.
It was a cold night, but Scarlet couldn’t really feel it as much after the few glasses of wine she’d drank. They both, however, had to watch for the small patches of black ice that had formed after the drizzle of the day had frozen up on the ground, and Scarlet’s heart gave a swell every time she gave a small skid and Yvie clung to her protectively. The night was pitch black and magic, and each yellow streetlamp cast a spotlight on the pavement for the love story that she and Yvie seemed to be living out. It was deeply surreal.
Scarlet looked up to the sky, smiling as she saw a few stars despite the endless amount of light the city produced. Looking at Yvie and watching her concentrating deeply as she navigated the icy pavement, Scarlet found herself smiling in spite of herself.
“She’s the brightest star I’ve ever seen…it’s like I’m living in some kind of dream…”
Yvie gave a chuckle as she turned to face Scarlet. “Oh, Jesus, not you too. We’ve only just managed to free ourselves of Nina and she’s basically a Michael Buble in training.”
Scarlet gave a soft laugh and slipped her hand down from the crook of Yvie’s elbow and into her hand. She gave a sigh, suddenly sad.
“I’m going to miss you when I go home, you know.”
There was a small, melancholy pause in the silence that followed. Yvie eventually gave a matching sigh and squeezed Scarlet’s hand. “I’m going to miss you too, baby.”
“It’s only a month or something, though. We can still skype,” Scarlet added optimistically, trying not to worry about how the distance between their family homes would affect their still very new relationship. There was another small silence where Scarlet tipped her head back up to the sky. “Why do I feel overcome with hope and joy- shit!”
Scarlet suddenly found herself hitting the ground, pulling Yvie down with her onto the ice. She gave a splutter, Yvie sitting up on the ground and beginning to let out her deep, Disney-villan chuckle that Scarlet loved so much. Scarlet laughed so hard her stomach muscles could barely support her endeavour to sit up but eventually she managed it, sitting on the icy pavement and laughing with her girlfriend like a lunatic. Suddenly, Yvie said something, her face growing instantly serious.
“What?” Scarlet asked, her smile dropping off her face.
Yvie swept the hair back from her face with a nervous hand. “Fuck…remember how we used to say I love you to each other?”
Scarlet’s stomach gave a plummet, almost as if she was hurtling down a rollercoaster with ten consecutive loops in front of her. “Yeah?”
“Well…can we start doing that again? I know it’s different now we’re properly together, and I’m not saying I’m falling for you yet or anything intense like that, but I could see that happening. I do love you though, so fucking much. And sometimes…fuck, I don’t know. I just want to tell you.”
Scarlet could barely wipe the smile off her face. She wasn’t going to let Yvie in on what she was really thinking- that she’d begun to fall for Yvie a small while ago and it wouldn’t be long before she would be able to admit to herself that she was completely in love with her- because it could wait for now. For now, she had her beautiful girlfriend with her curls framing her ridiculously gorgeous face and her eyes full of hope, and a sky full of stars.
“Well I love you too,” Scarlet smiled back, her pulse giving a jolt as Yvie’s smile grew wider. “Not much has changed on that front.”
Scarlet leaned in and gave Yvie a soft kiss, her lips warm even though the air was freezing. It wasn’t the I-love-you moment, but it was pretty perfect. As Yvie pulled away, she stood up, dusted herself off, and offered Scarlet her hands.
“Come on, dumbass,” she smiled bashfully, Scarlet allowing herself to be pulled up. “Let’s get back before our tits turn into snowballs.”
98 notes · View notes
breanime · 6 years
Text
Priorities
Requested by @castletrash:  I’m loving all your billy fics! Good Enough tore at my heartstrings. I’m so excited for season 2! If you’re taking requests- would be able to write something angsty where billy keeps missing important dates/anniversaries (maybe for work?) and the reader doesn’t feel important anymore? just give me angst pls thank u I appreciate u and your writing
Sorry it took so long! I hope this is angsty enough for you!
*gif not mine*
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You looked across the table and sighed. The restaurant was beautiful, with soft lighting and classical music playing in the background—the perfect kind of place for your anniversary. It had everything to make it the perfect romantic date: candles, music, excellent gourmet food, an intimate setting… Everything.
…except your date.
Billy was almost always late to your dates these days; what with Anvil getting more and more business, and him helping Frank get used to life as a civilian—he was busier than you had ever seen him. But he was always apologetic and tried to make it up to you, so you didn’t take it too hard. But you couldn’t help but be hurt by it. At first it wasn’t a big deal; Billy would show up 10 to 15 minutes late with apologies and while you were upset, you couldn’t stay mad at him for long. Then he graduated to straight up cancelling dates, which you had mixed feelings about. On one hand: it was a huge pain in the ass to have your plans changed and cancelled, but on the other hand: Billy’s way of making it up to you usually involved back spasms and orgasms so… He kind of made it easy to forgive him. Still, it wasn’t all make-up sex and cuddles. Sometimes things got… explosive.
“63 goddamn minutes,” you screamed, throwing another plate. Billy stood still, watching you destroy the dinner you’d slaved to make over an hour ago while he was busy at work. “You made me wait 63 goddamn minutes before you bothered to tell me you’d be late?!” You knocked a platter of food on the ground for emphasis.
Billy, for his part, was letting you have your meltdown; he knew you needed a minute to react; and if you couldn’t fall back on your anger, you’d probably cry. He hated that he made you feel this way. “It couldn’t wait,” he said for the 100th time, “I tried to call you, baby, but my phone broke during the job—”
“The job! That’s all you care about!” You screeched. “You pick Anvil over me every time, Billy! Every time! I’m sick of it,” you could no longer keep the tears at bay, so you spoke through the tears, “You love Anvil more than you love me!”
Billy was in front of you in a second, grabbing your shoulders and staring down at you with wide, dark eyes. They gleamed with emotion as you looked up into them. “Don’t…” His voice broke. “Don’t ever say that again. I love you more than anything, Y/N, more than life itself. I love you so much.” Carefully, he wiped a tear from your cheek. “I know it doesn’t feel like that right now, and that’s my fault, but it’s true, I love you so much, Y/N. Please, don’t… Please don’t say that again.”
You sniffled, and Billy’s heart broke. “But that’s how it feels.”
Billy nodded, still holding your face in his hand. “I know. I’m sorry.” Slowly, he bent down, giving you time to move or push him away if you wanted to. You stayed where you were. “I’ll do better, baby, I promise, just please… I love you.”
“I love you, too,” you whispered, feeling your heart swell as you looked into his perfectly dark eyes. You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his, and you felt him relax against you. He carried you, bridal-style, to the bedroom and spent the next few hours pleasuring you in every way possible, apologizing to you and more than telling you he loved you—he showed you. You two came up with a procedure after that day: if Billy was late or M.I.A, you were to call his office and if he didn’t get back to you in 10 minutes tops, you were to call Frank, and from there, you could usually get in contact with Billy. It worked; and while Billy was still late to your dates, he hadn’t cancelled one in a while, so you were okay with your new system. Billy had even added an addendum to your agreement: if he was more than 20 minutes late, he owed you 20 minutes of the foreplay of your choice, and as much as you enjoyed that, you were glad that he was rarely that late after your last blow out.
But now he was over an hour late. Your phone was on the table, next to a glass of white wine, and had a total of zero texts or calls from Billy. That was…unusual. Billy always texted or called to let you know he would be late or that he was on his way. You were starting to get worried.
Two hours in you called Billy’s phone. No answer. Having played this game before, you dialed his office, swirling your wine in the glass as you waited for the call to be intercepted by Billy’s secretary.
“Billy Russo’s office, how can I—”
“—Hey Gloria,” you said between a sigh, “Is Billy there?”
“Oh, no, Ms. Y/N, he left about four hours ago. He isn’t at the restaurant?” You heard papers shuffling on her end and knew she was looking through itineraries and memos.
“No, and I can’t get him on his cell either…” You put the wine down and signaled the waiter. “You know what, don’t worry about it, Gloria, I’ll give him a little longer to show up. Have a good night.” You hung up, satisfied with your simple plan, and ordered a drink.
Three hours and several drinks later, you were…not a mess, but mess-adjacent. You had called Billy, and Frank, then called Billy again…no answer. You were just a tad bit drunk, so you finally caved, called a cab, and went home to nurse your wounded pride.
Billy had never stood you up for a date before—let alone an anniversary. You were worried sick. Your mind conjured up images of him bloody and broken, of his lifeless body in some grey, gritty alley somewhere. You paced around your apartment, an iron grip on your phone, and tried to think of where Billy could be. You nearly screamed when your phone rang and did when you saw who was calling.
“Billy,” you gasped out, stopping dead in your tracks, “where are you? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he said easily, “me and Frankie made some headway with the Albanians and now we’re on our way to Philly to do some negotiations—”
“Philly?” You repeated, blinking in confusion. “I… what about tonight?”
“Tonight?” There was a pause, and you knew wheels were turning in Billy’s head. “Shit… I forgot. Baby, I’m—”
You didn’t wait to hear the rest. You saw red, and you didn’t even bother hanging up the phone before you threw it at the wall. The resulting crash and scattering of little pieces did nothing to ease the rage. You grabbed your overnight bag—which you kept packed and ready for impromptu stays at Billy’s—and stomped out of your apartment. You were done. You were beyond done, even. A part of you wanted to go to Karen and bawl your eyes out, but another part of you wanted to avoid Billy at all costs, and you knew he would easily find you there. It was the same with Curtis. Your rage had sobered you right up, so you drove around town for a few hours, seeing nothing and shaking. The anger left you just as quickly as it came, and you had to pull over to sob into the steering wheel.
You had never felt so unimportant, so insignificant in your whole life. Billy was everything to you; he was your sun and moon, your happiness, your joy—but you meant nothing to him. Forget competing against the women who were in and out of his life, you couldn’t even compete with his job. You could never match the thrill, the satisfaction Anvil gave Billy—and the more you thought about it, the dumber you felt for even trying. You stared at your hands, still gripping the wheel. They were shaking along with the rest of you. You had been content before Billy had come into your life, but now? Now that you had felt the immense warmth of his love? Now that you had seen him, sleepy-eyed and soft in the morning, reaching out for you? Now that you had been cocooned in the safety of his arms? You wouldn’t go so far as to say Billy had broken you—no man could break you—but he had ruined you for anyone else. You knew your life after him would be grey and cold, and worse still: you knew you deserved better.
You checked into a hotel a little bit after that and cried into the stale pillow until your body was out of tears. You could see every time Billy smiled at you, every time he kissed you, touched you, caressed you. In your mind, you could hear his voice, soft with a slight New York accent, telling you he loved you a million times. It was like you could almost feel his arms around you, and you tried to hold onto those memories, knowing that there would be no more.
Puffy-eyed and exhausted, you made your way to the hotel communication center, where they had several computers and a phone. The first thing you did was call Curtis and leave a voicemail saying you were fine, you just needed some time alone, and not to worry. Then you called your work, requested a few days off, and told them you were “taking a vacation”. Satisfied with the updates you’d given; your next call was to Karen.
“Hey,” you had said, voice weary, “it’s me.”
“Oh my God, Y/N,” Karen sounded out of breath, “where are you? Are you okay? Tell me where you are, and I’ll be there—we were all so worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” you swallowed, “I just… I want to be alone.”
“Tell me where you are,” you heard the sound of clothes rustling and knew Karen was putting on a jacket, “I won’t tell Billy, but just tell me where you are.”
“I’m safe,” you closed your eyes, feeling more tired than you’d ever felt in your whole life, “Listen, I need a favor. I can’t do it myself, but could you tell Billy it’s over?”
“Y/N, he’s a mess, he just wants to talk to you—”
“—Please Karen.” You shook your head, feeling a headache coming on, “I need you to do this for me. Please say you’ll do this for me.”
“I will,” she sounded out of breath, “I’ll do it right now, just tell me where you are—”
“—I’ll be back in a few days,” you cut her off, “thanks, Karen.” You hung up, went back to your room, and grabbed your bag. Karen was a smart woman. She’d track you down by the hotel number and be there within the hour—possibly with Billy. You couldn’t have that. You made yourself a cup of coffee to go before hopping back into your car and driving off.
You had no purpose, no plan, beyond ‘get away from Billy’, and it wasn’t until the sun came up and you crossed state lines that you started to feel sleepy. You considered pulling over and sleeping on the side of the road but weren’t comfortable with that idea. So, you stuck it out until you got to a motel.
You didn’t have the energy to shower or even unpack; you flopped onto the bed, fully dressed, and passed out.
You woke up to the sounds of birds chirping. You rubbed your eyes, and sighed into the emptiness. Everything came back to you in a rush, and you felt your heart break all over again. You missed Billy—which was ridiculous! He did this to you. Sitting up, you picked up the phone and dialed your own number. You listened to the most recent voicemail, from Karen.
“Tell me where you are,” she was shouting into the receiver, “Call me back and tell me where you are RIGHT NOW, Y/N! Billy is worried sick, and so am I and we—we just need to know you’re okay. Tell me where you are and I’ll come get you, just me.” It sounded like she was crying. “Please Y/N, this isn’t like you, it’s dangerous out there.” She sighed. “Call me.”
The next message was from Frank. “This is my fault. I made Bill miss your anniversary, we were…” He grunted. “Doesn’t matter what we were doing, just know that this is on me.” There was a sound in the background, a harsh crash or something. “Bill’s out of his mind, he won’t eat he, he won’t sleep—” another crash—“just give us a call, Y/N.”
You sniffled as you deleted the message and listened to the next one.
“Hey, Y/N,” it was Curtis, “I know you’re hurt, I know you’re pissed, but we’re all worried about you. Just give us one of us a call, sweetheart, okay?” He sighed, and you could almost see Curtis’ kind, sad face. “Billy’s coming undone. He needs you. Just tell us you’re okay, all right?”
You imagined Billy throwing things, cursing, screaming and yelling, and it didn’t make you feel any better at all. If anything, it made you ache for him more. He hurt you, yes, but the last thing you wanted was for him to suffer. The next voicemail message was short but took your breath away all the same.
“You got 24 hours to call me,” Billy’s voice was cold, “before I come and get you.” There was a pause. “I love you.”
You were crying softly now and played the next message. It was Frank, Frank, Curtis, Karen, your mom, Frank again, and then…
“Please.” You had never heard Billy’s voice like that before. It was shaky and broken and scared. So scared. “Baby, please… I am so, so sorry that I forgot our anniversary. I’m an asshole, I know, I messed everything up. But please, baby, just tell me you’re okay, tell me you’re safe, please, I need to know you’re safe.” He took a breath and you heard him sniffle. “I…” You could hear the tears in his voice, and it made your heart break. “I fucked it all up. I knew I would. I knew I’d do something to…” He inhaled sharply. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Better than war, better than money, better than Anvil, and I should have made you feel like that, because it’s true. You make me so happy, and I…” His voice sounded muffled, like he had his hand over his face. “God, I made you feel unloved and alone and abandoned. I am so, so sorry baby, I love you so much. I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve you, and that I fucked everything up and that I probably…I probably lost you forever, but please… Call me back—or Frank or Karen or Curtis. Please…
…I love you.”
You put the phone down, stared at the ceiling for a moment, and broke down crying. It was a good cry—the whole body shaking kind of cry, the come to Jesus kind of cry. You were angry, and hurt, and had every right to be—but you loved him. You loved Billy Russo more than you loved yourself, he was everything to you. But there could be no middle ground, you couldn’t keep playing second fiddle to Billy’s work, you couldn’t keep being abandoned by him. The hurt was too much. But this… Running away, hearing Billy beg you to call him—this wasn’t any better.
It couldn’t continue.
You picked the phone back up and dialed without looking at the numbers. You had them memorized.
“Y/N—” Billy began. His voice sounded strained, probably from all the yelling you assumed he’d been doing.
“—I’m in Connecticut,” you said, “I’m fine, I’m safe, I’m gonna stay here for a few days, and I don’t want to see you when I get back.” With that you hung up. The phone rang immediately, but you ignored it. You went down to the lobby, had some breakfast, and then came back to your room for a shower. The phone had a little red light blinking on and off that let you know you had messages, but you walked right passed it.
You thought a lot about Billy and what you would do when you got home while you were in the shower. You had told Karen that you were done with him, but you honestly couldn’t see yourself without him. You loved him. But you had choices to make: forgive him or let him go. Both seemed impossible.
Your phone was ringing when you got out of the shower, and you considered answering it. Instead, you shook your head, grabbed your purse, and headed for the door. You’d seen a diner across the street when you’d gone down to breakfast and decided to treat yourself to a carb-heavy lunch. You flung open the door, renewed after your shower, and froze in your steps.
Billy stood in front of you, cell phone at his ear, staring at you.
His hair was messy, and he was wearing his black combat gear. You guessed he hadn’t changed—or slept—since you both had been in New York. There were bags under his dark eyes, and you could see that he had been crying by the red in them. He put the phone into his pocket as he stared at you. “You said you didn’t want to see me when you got back, so… I came to see you.”
“You—how did you get here so fast?” You asked, hand still on the doorknob.
“Made a few calls, chartered a chopper to bring me here,” he answered. “Can I come in?”
You stepped back, letting Billy come into the room. It seemed much smaller with the two of you standing in it. Billy seemed smaller—deflated somehow—and you swallowed down the urge to hold him.
He glanced around the room, eyes weary, before settling back to you. “You okay?” He asked. “Are—are you hurt? Are you safe?”
You nodded. “I’m fine.” You wanted to ask how he was, but you could tell just by looking at him. He was a mess. “When was the last time you slept?”
“I haven’t slept since you left me.” He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I trashed my office, broke everything in my apartment, called in all kinds of favors to track you down…”
“Well, here I am,” you plopped onto the bed and sighed, “Billy, I… I don’t even know what to say to you,” you looked up at him and felt tears well up in your eyes, “you promised you’d do better,” your voice broke, “You lied to me.”
Billy dropped to his knees in front of you but didn’t touch you. “I know,” his eyes were shining, “I broke my promise and I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry, you deserve better than this, better from me.”
“I do,” you whimpered. You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to keep it together.
Billy reached out and put his hands on your knees. His touch warmed you to the core. “I’m so sorry, baby. Frank needed my help, and I thought I had time to help him and make it to dinner, but…” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I made a promise to you and I broke it. And if,” he ducked his head down before bringing it back up, eyes swimming in unshed tears, “if you have to leave me, I get it… I fucked up. I fucked up so many times and you were so patient, and I took advantage of that. I don’t deserve you. I never deserved you.” He took a shuddering breath, and you knew he was steadying himself for whatever he had to say next. “I love you so much, Y/N, and I’ll always love you, but… if you tell me that you never want to see me again…” His eyes bore into yours and you could see the sincerity in them. “I’ll honor it.”
The tears fell down your face, hot and warm, and you licked your lips, searching for the words to say. You looked down into the face of the man you loved and felt your heart splinter. You loved Billy, you needed him like you needed air to breath, but he hurt you. He hurt you so bad and you felt like you couldn’t trust him. “I don’t want that,” you said, putting your hands over Billy’s on your knees, “but I can’t just forget and forgive. I can’t trust you. I love you, Billy, I love you so much, but you…” You took a deep breath. “…You put work ahead of me every time and I can’t take it anymore. I can’t live like that anymore.”
“I know,” he nodded, eyes never leaving yours, “I know, sweetheart.”
“I love you,” you whispered.
“I love you, too,” his voice wavered, and you wiped a tear from the edge of his eye.
You took another breath, staring down at Billy. “I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t do this with you anymore, I can’t keep being a footnote in your life.” You leaned forward and placed both hands on either side of Billy’s face. “If I ask you to do something, will you do it?”
“I’d do anything for you,” he said, no hesitation and nothing but honesty in his eyes.
“I need another few days here,” you said, “and I need you to go.” You took a deep breath and continued on. “I want all of your stuff out of my apartment by the time I get back.” Billy’s dark eyes shone with sorrow at your words, but he didn’t interrupt. “I think… I think I’m gonna need some time before I can be with you again, but if you’ll wait—”
“—of course I’ll wait,” Billy promised, nodding.
“—then maybe we can get back to where we were,” you finished, “because I really do love you, Billy.”
“I love you, too,” he said back.
With tears rolling down your cheeks, you pulled him towards you and held him in your arms. He was shaking, and you kissed the side of his face. God, you loved this man. You didn’t know how long the two of you stayed huddled up like that; half of you on the bed and the other half crouched on the floor with Billy, but neither of you were still crying by the time you separated.
You smiled weakly at Billy, running your hands through his thick, dark hair. “I’ll see you in New York,” you said.
He smiled back. “See you in New York.”
You ended up staying in Connecticut for another five days before heading home to New York. Billy was true to his word; he had cleared your apartment of all of his stuff and left a new phone for you by the time you got back. You invited Karen over for brunch the day you got back and had a tearful reunion. You met with Curtis for drinks later that day but didn’t bother to hit up Frank—you knew that he knew you were in town. Plus, you didn’t want to take him away from Billy. You didn’t want Billy to be alone.
You went back to work and re-established your routines without Billy. It was strange and lonely, but you felt a sense of clarity with each day. Going to sleep alone wasn’t fun, especially since you were craving Billy’s warmth, but you needed the time to think. A couple of weeks after your return, you got an envelope in the mail from Billy. It contained an article from the paper saying that Billy had taken a sabbatical from Anvil and handed over the reins to Frank and Curtis. According to the article, Billy was still the CEO of the company, but his hours were cut in half and he would no longer be a part of missions that took place outside of the city. With the article came a handwritten note, and you smiled, recognizing Billy’s handwriting immediately.
Dear Y/N,
I didn’t know if you would see this, so I decided to send it to you myself. I know this won’t fix what I did, or make up for the way I treated you, but I hope it’s a start. I changed my number (putting it on the back of this note). Please give me a call whenever you want. I’ll be waiting.
I’ll always wait for you.
I love you. I miss you.
--Billy Russo
You turned the paper over and saw his number. He probably changed it to avoid some of his old contacts. When you turned it back, your eyes fell to the last line. I love you. I miss you. You brought the paper to your lips and kissed it. Billy wasn’t perfect, but he was yours and you loved him. He was working on himself—and so were you—and that was all you could ask for. You picked up your phone and dialed the number, your fingers moving swiftly with nervous excitement.
Billy picked up on the first ring. “Y/N,” he said, sounding entranced.
“Hi, Billy, I got your letter,” your heart started pounding the second you heard his voice, “Looks like you have some time on your hands.”
“Yeah, yeah, I do,” he said back, “How are you?”
“Fine. Listen, I was wondering…if you had some time next week, maybe we could meet up?”
“I have time now,” Billy’s voice was rushed, “I could be at your place in less than 15 minutes or—” he paused, clearing his throat, “—or I can wait till next week. Of course. Where would you like to meet?”
You put your finger on your chin and pondered his question. Technically, you could wait another week to see Billy, and it could be at a neutral location, but… You didn’t want to wait. You wanted to see him, to hold him. You weren’t necessarily ready to jump all the way back in with Billy, but you’d had enough of being without him. You loved him and were ready to move things forward with him. “Fifteen minutes, huh?” You said, leaning against your kitchen counter with a smirk, “I’m starting the clock now.”
You could almost feel Billy’s smile on the other end od the line. “I’ll make it in ten,” he promised.
You laughed. There was still a lot of work to be done between you and Billy to fix your relationship, but you were willing to do it for as long as Billy was. And he was down for the long run, no matter how hard it could be—and you could tell he was sincere in his dedication.
True to his word—a habit he was determined to keep up with—Billy was at your door in less than 11 minutes. He looked so good, eyes wide and eager, and you felt your love for him well up in your chest like helium in a balloon. You never felt a love as strong as you felt for Billy, and you knew, in that moment, that even though things weren’t always perfect and could be tough, you knew that you wanted to be with Billy for the rest of your life. You took him in your arms then and felt like the jigsaw puzzle that was your life was complete.
From that day on, Billy was never late to any of your dates ever again. Things didn’t pick up exactly where you’d left out, but that ended up being better for the both of you in the long run. You loved Billy, and he loved you, and he spent every day of the rest of your lives making sure you knew that.
You couldn’t have been happier.  
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Thank you for reading, guys! Please let me know how you think about this one. I need validation! 
1K notes · View notes
nickmuch · 5 years
Text
c.z.k. - high school (Part 2)
PART 1 / PART 3
Note: I was asked to turn this into a longer story, so here’s part 2! I don’t know in what direction to necessary go with this and how to end/wrap it up, so if you have any ideas message me pls! I’ll try to make this a 5-part-imagine.
Also: Edwin crackhead hours have arrived. Again
“So, you’re cool with that?!” Edwin shouted in disbelief.
Nearly four months had passed since my little moment with Zion and a lot had happened during this time. After the party, everything seemed to go smoothly between us. Probably way too smoothly. We spent most of our free-time together, doing god knows what. However, at the end we decided we would be better off as just friends. He reasoned that it was unfair to the boys and only made the whole group dynamic odd. I was okay with that. Okay, scratch that, I wasn’t okay with that. But I wasn’t going to throw a fit or anything and honestly it ended up working out better than I would have thought.
“Sure, why shouldn’t I?” I asked. This only made me earn a scoff from him. “Are you okay? Do you have a fever or something? Did you catch a cold?” Edwin pressed the back of his hand against my forehead, trying to see if I was indeed getting sick. “Stop that” Nick mumbled, swatting his hand away from me. “Bro, she’s okay with that, though!”. The neighboring table turned around giving us glares for being so loud. “Excuse my little idiotic friend over there” Austin apologized in behalf of Ed. He was just about to protest when he got interrupted by Brandon. “She’s okay with what …?”.
He had spent half of the lunch-time in the art room, trying to compose a beat he couldn’t get out of his head and for which he might have earned himself detention from our English teacher for “making too much noise during class”.
“She’s okay with Z and Asya hanging out” “Hanging out? Since when is that a problem? They are friends I thought?”. Edwin slapped him across the back of his head. “Are y’all dumb or are y’all stupid?! They are dating or something, Ion even know. But I for sure saw ‘em swap spit earlier this morning and thinking about it now: B, you can have my lunch. I lost my appetite.” He shoved his tray in Brandon’s direction, who didn’t even notice judging from his perplex expression towards me. “So, you’re trying to tell me that Z is with Asya – the girl who he said was like a cousin –“ “Correction, he said little sister” Nick chimed in. The boy with glasses shook his head. “Alright, who he said was like a little sister. And you’re cool with that? Even though that’s low key incest-y If I might add. Besides, do I have to remind you that not even a month ago he broke things off out of nowhere with the shittiest of the shittiest excuses? You cried for the whole weekend!”.
He was right. I had cried about it for three days straight. I really didn’t mean to, but somehow, I guess I liked him more than I wanted to admit. The first night the boys had made it their mission to cheer me up, but once they realized it wasn’t working, they just joined me and my pity party with some Ben & Jerry’s. At some point, Edwin even shed a tear or two. “I just don’t know if I should be sad that my favorite ship just sank or if I should beat his lanky ass for breaking my twin’s heart!” he exclaimed.
“I know, but I’m over it now” I poked in my salad. “And frankly, he is too by the looks of it”. I really didn’t mean to look over to her table. It just happened for a split second. Of course, it was right in the moment he was leaning in, giving her a kiss on the lips. She was blushing like mad. “This is so disgusting. Here, you can have my lunch” Brandon slid the tray - that originally was Edwin’s - into Austin’s direction. “I just don’t get it, man. Zion really liked you. Why did he pull that move on you?” Nick asked. No one could answer him. All of our gazes were pointed in their direction. After what felt like years, I decided that enough was enough and got up. “Yo, where you goin’? We still need to talk about this” Edwin stopped me to pull me down again. Though, I ended up sitting on his lap instead of my original spot, he seemed to not care. He was determined to get the truth out of me. If there was one thing you needed to know about Edwin, it was that he cared about his family dearly. Whenever one of his siblings was sad, he automatically was sad, too. Ever since I moved in, that same rule applied to me.
“You want the truth?” I said annoyed. All I wanted was to get out of here, in all honesty. The feeling of humiliation was getting stronger by the second. He just nodded cautiously, as if he didn’t know whether or not to answer me. “I feel like shit” I said, feeling a little bit relieved to finally speak my mind. “He’s annoying me. Just last month he was all into me and suddenly he’s with her?! Plus, what type of shitty excuse is that?” my voice was starting to tremble at this point.“It’s unfair to the boys and makes the whole group dynamic odd” I mocked him. “I am really starting to think that I was just pass-time to him and that makes me mad. It’s really unfair, okay?! If you like someone else, why in the flying fuck would you even get involved with me? Ugh, fuck this shit. I don’t even wanna be his friend anymore. Seeing his face makes me wanna beat his ass and I ain’t about that life. My momma raised me better than beating the ass of a bean stick!”.
Once I was finished with my rant, I finally dared to look at the boys. All of them had shock written all over their faces. “Aye, Ma” Nick spoke first. “You should’ve told us earlier. We would’ve checked him and at least made sure he wouldn’t be all lovey-dovey with her in your presence”. All I did was sigh.
“I don’t know what to say. Or feel” Austin looked so helpless. He was struggling to find the right comforting words and suddenly I felt horrible for dragging them into my stupid problems. “It’s alright. You don’t have to say anything. I will get over it at some point. It’s not like he’s the only cute boy in New York”. “That’s right, I’m cuter” Edwin tried to lighten the mood and it actually worked. We were all laughing before the bell rang, signaling that class was starting soon.
After school, Edwin immediately drove us both home, so I could take a nap before the boys came over. As soon as I was in my bed, I of course was struggling to fall asleep. “Can you come over? I can’t sleep” I spoke into the phone. Not even ten seconds later, Edwin barged into my room, getting under the covers with me. The fact we got so close over the last few months was making me happy, to say the least. It wasn’t weird to share a bed with each other, we were siblings after all. “We shared a womb, we might as well be able to share a bed” he had said jokingly one day. The silence was comforting me in a way I couldn’t explain in words.
“Fuck Z”. Him suddenly speaking shook me out of my thoughts. “I mean, don’t fuck him. But fuck him. You know?”. Sometimes, it was hard for Edwin to find the right words. It wasn’t because he didn’t know what to say, but rather the fact he had so many things to say that it just ended up blocking his mind ultimately. “I know”.
“This is some sweet home alabama shit” “Shut up, Austin. They just fell asleep together, no big deal” “Okay guys, but I’m getting hungry. Should we wake ‘em up now?”. His body started to shift beneath me, both of us fully waking up by the noise the others were making. “Good morning, honey bubbas!” all three of them were towering over us. The sight was rather scary, with their creepy grins plastered on their faces. “What time is it?” Edwin asked sleepily. He seemed a bit disoriented. “Time for you to get up and make us some food! Mama Honoret went out with the niñitos, so we’re all by ourselves”.
Slowly, we got out of bed to go find something to eat in the kitchen. Ding Dong. The doorbell rang. “Do you guys expect someone?” I asked confused. None of them were able to meet my eyes, looking slightly uncomfortable and at a loss for words. Instead of waiting for a reply, I went straight to the door to open it. “Wait!” “Hold up!” “Don’t” “No!”. Too late. There he stood, three boxes of pizza in his hands. “Uhm, hey”. My first instinct was to slam the door shut in his face and cuss the others out for not telling me sooner. However, on second thought, I decided against it. “Hi. Come in, I guess”. Awkwardly, he greeted his friends and made his way towards the kitchen to put the food on the counter. “So, uhm how about we watch some Netflix while we eat? On My Block sounds good?” Edwin tried to distract from the obvious thick tension in the air. I wasn’t going to ruin what should’ve been a chill night with my favorite people (minus Caleb) and just said “Sure, sounds good”.
The whole night was spent with Zion staring me down from his seat and Edwin exaggeratedly laughing at the funny moments to avoid the awkward atmosphere. Brandon was busy shoving his face with pizza – probably so that he didn’t have to speak. Nick and Austin were arguing about the gang situation in Freeridge. “If he wants his little brother to live a better life, then why is he dragging him into it? Isn’t he the gang leader or something? Just let your brother go to school and boom, problem solved” “It’s not that easy, bro! You want Oscar to lose his street credibility? Might as well put his clown suit on already”.
When I shifted to find a better position, his eyes were still on me. So, I decided to send him a quick text in hopes of making him stop.
< Dude, stop staring. Ur making me mad >
< I’m not staring, u must be trippin shawty >
< first of all, you’ve been staring since season 1 chapter 2. We’re on season 2 now. Second of all, if you call me shawty one more time imma rip ur ass open >
He visibly gulped at my last sentence, contemplating what to reply but ultimately deciding against it and sliding his phone back into his back pocket. Quietly, he stood up exclaiming to the group that he had to leave. A loud sigh of relief left Brandon’s lips, as if he had been waiting for this moment the whole night. “Thank god” he mumbled lowly, yet everyone could hear him clearly but decided to ignore it. “I’ll see you guys on Monday”. With that, he immediately left.
“I think I’ll call it a night. Haven’t really slept well recently”. It was true, I could barely fall asleep nowadays. Tired or not, the night wasn’t my best friend anymore. Everything was keeping me up. The drama with Caleb, the new life I yet had to adjust to – the boys made it easier, though -, and the passing of my parents. It was all too much at once. How was I supposed to comprehend all of this in just a matter of three months? Exactly, there was no waysomeone could deal with that in such a short period of time. The first couple of weeks I was as good as could be expected under the circumstances, but now it all seemed to slowly catch up on me.
“What! No! This was supposed to be a chill night, followed by the best sleepover of all time!”Edwin stood up, trying to make me stay by hugging my body tightly. “Yeah, you can’t leave! Not when Edwin is acting like a crackhead again” Brandon said, his arms securely wrapped around my shoulders. “Aight, I guess it’s group hug hours”. Soon, I found myself squished between not only Ed and B, but also Nick and later even Austin. “Okay, you guys won. I’ll stay”. They cheered at their victory, all pulling away at once. “But” This made everyone look at me suspiciously. “We’re gonna do a beauty-night!” I exclaimed happily with the biggest smile on my face. “Oh hell nah, I’m out!” Edwin crossed his arms, slightly turning away with his nose all scrunched up and brows furrowed. To be honest, he looked like a baby right now. “… unless this means I’m allowed to use that weird blue face mask from Lush?” he asked full of hope. “Yeah, why not”.
In a matter of minutes, we were all piled up on my bed, discussing what face mask would be the best for whom. “Your skin’s whack! Go put that charcoal one on, do something nice for your pores for once” Ed threw the bottle with the black liquid at Nick who grumpily obliged and started to apply it all over his face. “This feels nice. What exactly is that?” Brandon was looking curiously at the big tube in his hands, examining it in hopes of understanding what he just put on his skin. “It’s clay” I told him. “Clay” he repeated quietly and slowly, to no one in particular. Shaking my head with a content smile on my lips, I turned to Austin to see how he was holding up. We decided to let him try a bubble mask but looking at it now we might have made the wrong decision. Every inch of his face was covered in bubbles, and when I say every inch, I mean Every. Inch. Of. His. Precious. Face. “My eyes are burning, is this normal?”. “… Yes” I lied. Grabbing a wet cloth, I softly started rubbing the mask off of him before he ended up blind.
“Okay, what’s next? Do we paint each other’s nails? Do we play pillow fight? Do we talk about our menstrual cycle?”.
“What the fuck, Edwin?!”.
���Hey! Nothing wrong with talking about periods. It’s a natural thing and frankly, it’s actually good to talk about it with your friends to see, if – “
“Of course it’s a normal thing to talk about, but I think you might’ve forgotten something”.
Edwin looked at Brandon quizzingly. “We don’t have a uterus”.
“… Oh”.
Sometimes, he was just too much, but that’s why we loved him. “I think it’s time for bed, boys”. Reluctantly, they got up and lied on their designated air mattresses. “But Edwin can sleep in your bed? That’s so rude, Ma”. “Shut up, shark boy. I’m her twin, that’s just how we roll” he laughed evilly before turning the lights off and saying our good nights to each other.
“If it bothers you so much, why don’t you just tell him?” B looked at the direction my eyes were trained on. Zion would whisper something into Asya’s ear, making her giggle, then he would whisper something else, making her giggle again and so on. I was getting aggravated. “Can’t. That’s super awkward. I wish he’d just use one of his last functioning three brain cells to consider my feelings and not do all that while we share the same class”. Cleaning his glasses with his cotton shirt, he took his time to say something. “Tell him just that”. Turning around, I rolled my eyes at him. “Caleb, stooop!” she giggled for what felt like the millionth time. Before I knew what was happening, I was right in front of Zion dragging him out of the class and into the empty hallway. “What’s your problem?!” I shouted into his face. “My problem? No, what’s your problem?!”. I was this close to just going back in and ignoring him for the rest of my life, but something inside of me told me to keep going. It was now or never. “My problem is” I began. “You’re so fucking annoying and mean and selfish as fuck, only caring about yourself and never considering other people’s feelings! As if it wasn’t shitty enough how you broke things off, no you also have to flaunt your fling-”I knew it wasn’t just a fling, but honestly? I didn’t give a damn. He was rude, so I was being rude. “- into my face! Be secretive! Or at least just stop when I’m around. That’s all I’m asking from you”.
He didn’t say a single word. Not one. Instead he was searching my eyes, trying to see if I really meant what I just said. Seconds passed, turning into minutes. “Aren’t you going to say something? Defend yourself or whatever?”. Him staying silent made my blood boil because I felt ignored and just really stupid for straight up having an outburst without it affecting him. “There’s nothing to defend because you’re right. About everything. And I’m sorry for not realizing sooner how shitty I was behaving”. To say I was taken aback was an understatement. “That’s all?”. The silence was killing me and all I wanted was to go back to class. “No”. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me towards his chest. “What are you do-“ “Shut up”.
Next thing I knew, (I was pregnant) I felt his lips grazing mine and before I could stop him, he had already fully kissed me. I wanted to feel repulsed, I wanted to feel disgusted, I wanted to feel mad. But I couldn’t. I had missed him and I couldn’t deny it. When I pulled away, he tried to make me stay in place. That’s when my senses came back to me and reality hit me. “Dude, what’s wrong with you?! You have a new girl, remember?”. I pushed his chest, freeing myself. Once I was about to open the door again, I noticed that Zion still hadn’t moved an inch. Turning around, I wanted to tell him to move his ass back to class before both of us would get in trouble. But he never gave me a chance at that.
“I know, but I can’t get my real girl outta my head”.
Also2: I don’t know if I like this part, it’s more of a filler. I tried to put the focus on the relationship between her and Edwin, but also tried to give glimpses of the friendship between her and the rest of the boys. Zion isn’t included much because he’s always hanging out with that other chick. This part is set during the time where both of them try to avoid each other, so I wanted to make it as realistic as possible.
Let me know what your favorite part or line was! Hope you liked it xx
- Cami
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kariachi · 5 years
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We are finishing! Season! 3!! Today is Roundabout day. Season finale, I’m finally gonna be something approaching up-to-date, at least with regards to Kevin, who is the only thing that matters
I’m just going to preemptively say Fuck the Forever Knight sideways with a pineapple
That house looks like something out Dexter’s Lab, if Dexter had been into shoddy constructionwork.
Goddamnit! Think of your neighbors before you build shit that fails that explosively in your garage!
Billings. I should’ve fucking guessed. Your constructionwork sucks and you suck.
Did that man just take a break to build a lightsaber? Stay on track, Billings!
Ben vanished and Max and Gwen had to turn to Phil, those poor two, they don’t deserve this.
(btw is case you haven’t picked up on it, I still don’t trust Phil further than I could throw him. He spent four series being a sack of shit and now suddenly he’s a good guy? I think not.)
Don’t go in there, that machinery looks like it could collapse at any moment!
Max acknowledges the ‘hunk of junk’, does not acknowledge that it’s a danger to everyone and thing within 60 ft of the damn house. We had a pumphouse in better shape that wasn’t half the size and we had it torn down as a safety hazard
“Sure brings back memories though, right Max?“ I’m with Gwen, wtf does that mean?
Max is hiding shit, of course he is. Is it Plumber shit? Immortal shit? He and Phil used to be supervillains shit? Who the fuck knows
“Ever since Ben fought Vilgax, I’ve been tracking the Omnitrix to further study it’s abilities.“ Because that’s not suspicious at all. Especially given who else has been tracking the Omnitrix and it’s bearer for a good while now
(am I saying Phil has ties to the FN? No, I’m just not not saying it)
Yes Phil, many machines work like that, most with any sort’ve radio or wifi whatever do, which we already knew the Omnitrix had by the time Ben fought Vilgax because that’s how the fucker tracked it down. You didn’t find out shit, you’re just taking credit for information that was handed to you on a plate.
Okay, this map on this show is a disaster, but I’m going to estimate Ben is in the Germany/Austria/Switzerland region. But anything could be true given this is the least accurate to real life Europe map I’ve ever seen as far as landmasses
Okay, Phil says Switzerland, I say we head to Austria.
Max he’s already grounded.
Also who the fuck is calling? And why does Phil ‘I’m tracking the Omnitrix’ Billings still have a landline? You’re in the suburbs, man, are you even legally allowed a landline?
Oh look, we cut to the FN, or at least one of his stupid jets. More openly evil than Bezos
Oh my gods that is the smallest round table I’ve ever seen! And if way too big a space that’s clearly not even set up for it! FN you fucking loser!
Okay though, okay, backing up, entering ‘pick at details mode’. The table looks like it’s set to seat eight and it already has at least six. Counting out the FN we have, going clockwise- Kevin, then Vin, then Charmcaster, Billy, and what is probably Simon though if it is I will have to slowly kill a bitch. So, I gotta say, smart move putting Vin between Kevin and Charm, because if those two were next to or across from each other it would probably be unsafe for everybody. Having Vin in particular in that spot is smart because 1) he’s managed some sort’ve management of Kevin before (which is better than FN has managed even if it didn’t last) and 2) he’s bigger than both of them put together so Kevin would have to go through or around him to get at Charm’s throat.
But, on Vin in particular- what the fuck dude?! You get into the evilest looking vehicle in the show so far, owned and run by a creepy adult corporate nasty, see a bunch of kids are involved, why the fuck are you and the children still here? This better get touched on because if you’re actually okay with this set-up you are not half the man I thought you were
If Kwarrel were here the FN already would’ve had his gear wrecked and been thrown out the jet, woulda happened as soon as he saw even one of the children “Why are there kids here?“ “They’re your coworkers“ and out the jet he’d go
Charmcaster, unimpressed
Seats to either side of the FN are empty
And because there is no adult in existence with any of the skills the children have, apparently.
Kevin, also unimpressed and glaring off in the direction of Vin and Charm, presumably at Charm specifically
Oh gods, Vin’s special skill is ‘loyalty’ what the fuck is he a digidestined?! Although I guess when you’ve specifically gone out and gathered up the children least likely to do a single thing you say the way you want it done...
Charmcaster’s spells, if she can manage to cast any decent ones without a copy of Shel Silverstein involved
Billy’s skill is money. Bitch you own three major franchises you do not need the 10-yo for his money. The most dumbass golddigging attempt I’ve ever seen, and I watched OV!
Also nobody is impressed so far. Nobody.
Okay 1) they gave Simon a helmet and he is adorable. 2) I am going to kill every adult in that room. Painfully.
Kwarrel wouldn’t stand for this!
oh my gods Simon is too damn precious how did I not like him in his premiere?
Oh look, it’s a Ben. Welcome to the cesspit, Tennyson
Kevin, not fucking having it
Simon is happy though
“What are you thinking?! He’s obviously gonna betray us the first chance he gets!“ Kevin talking sense. He watches tv, he knows how this goes.
Honestly even without the betrayal risk, you wouldn’t be able to blame Kevin for not wanting Ben involved here. They’ve got the same skill set, as far as FN is concerned, and Kev already very clearly has issues about being seen as the lesser option, which FN has previously played into.
Vin trying to talk sense, it’s not working especially because I’m still angry with you
Kevin demanding Ben’s reasons for being here.
Ben’s reasons being ‘because my family thinks I’m the boy who cried FN’
“Why should we trust you?“ “Because Grandpa and Gwen don’t.“ “What? What does that even mean?!“ Kevin looks about this close to throwing in the towel and quitting right here and now. ‘Fuckit, I’m leaving and replacing you all with a rat’
FN stopping shit before it gets too out of hand
And we cut back to the Tennysons with still no sign from Vin that he has any problem with kids being involved in this mess
“We’ve been tracking the Forever Knight’s movements over the last few months“ “Who is ‘we’?“ “Best to just focus on the task at hand, Gwen“ Max pls
‘We came to the conclusion he was recruiting some sort’ve team’ what was your first clue?
Phil made Gwen a magical girl armor transformation.
Gwen is Pleased. Also dangerous.
The fuck sorta ugly-ass building is that? Did they hire a weaverbird to build it, what the hell?
Kevin, continuing to be a little shit, as per the norm
I’ll admit, I appreciate the transformation sequences if just because they’re nothing special enough for me to note and so it takes seconds off the time I have to liveblog. It adds up when you’re stopping to type every few seconds.
Ben pls
Ben- runs in to intimidate researchers into giving them access to whatever Billy- already got his father to pay the people to let them in
Again, may I say, the FN has money. He doesn’t need Billy’s! He has his own! He’s just cheap!
Kevin is just gonna spend the whole of part I giving Ben shit
The fuck we looking at
It is becoming more and more blatant that the FN got Simon here by inviting him to a fake birthday party and have I mentioned I want this man to smolder down to ash?
Time portal. We’re constructing a time portal. If this is Paradox’s premiere I’m cancelling this damn series. We can try again when people learn to fuck off on the time travel plots (they’ve been done well three times and all of them were in Pern books)
He is having Kevin and Ben construct a time portal. Together. Kevin does not look impressed by his coworker.
1) Ben you’ve been the dweeb forever. 2) Finally somebody on this show acknowledges Kevin’s mullet. 3) I’m with Kevin on the ‘let’s see if he can keep up’ thing, given one of them built an Omnitrix and the other I’d be surprised to see set the time on a vcr
“You’re the one with a mullet!“ “Yep.“ Oh gods! Oh damn! The fact he just looks so damn smug as he says it, like ‘you can’t get under my skin about things I’m actually cool with’, this little disaster! And Ben just looks like he’s gonna punch him. Are we sure they didn’t swap bodies prior to this or something?
FN starts pulling the ‘you will do as I say’ and that’s when Kevin starts getting prickly. Of course it is. Again, this is why I keep giving him rankers, do you really wanna see how long a Weyr would last if he was on a chromatic?
These boys today. Ben is just itching for a fight and Kevin is... The change between Kevin before the FN threatens to start putting them in their positions his own damn self and after is very pronounced. One he’s being a little shit and enjoying it, the other he’s very... I’m really not sure how to word it, distanced maybe? Like he emotionally stepped back from the situation
Simon you precious little bean, put a happy birthday sign and some balloons on a piece of machinery. And a little party hat.
Billy was not prepared for Simon. He doesn’t deserve Simon.
Well, Gwen is infiltrating shit at the fucking 6 minute mark, which is a shame because I was hoping to have more of her and the adults doing their thing so we could get some more interactions between the child antagonists.
This child
And of course she ends up in the vent right above the lab the others are working in, it’s not like we’ve got another episode and a half to fill.
Seriously, I love her, but I was really looking forward to seeing more of the dynamic between the characters that are already present in the lab and adding her changes the odds there. If they’d waited another fur minutes with her I’d have been good, but this feels too early and is setting my hackles up that they’re going to throw a load of Gwevin into what was shaping up to be a full marks episode so far
1) Yes Gwen, wtf are they doing, 2) I see everyone but Kevin and Ben so wtf is going on there?
Well, she seems to be leaving to regroup with the adults, so there’s hope there
“Watch wearers“ I’m gonna throw that man off something tall
Ooo, Ben’s been promoted to ‘Loser-son’ and also might be losing his nerve? Either that or the just ran out of ways to shoot back at Kevin verbally.
Rush and XLR8
Boys both going at 456 mph through a fucking tube
‘You boys are gonna have to hit 888 miles an hour’ Vin, have you considered fucking right the hell off? Has the FN? I’m with the boys that’s fucking insane
They pass each other in the tube and Kevin finds the energy to still joke on Ben, because some things just matter
SImon and Billy get distracted from doing their jobs by Simon drawing a picture of them and Ben in which Billy is taller than Ben. Billy is pleased. Simon is precious.
Ya kniw what I need? I need a fic where this time/space portal opens up and UAF/OV Kevin tumbles out, judges the shoddy construction, and then fucking handles this mess. I don’t know what FN wants, but I’m fairly certain a bigger, meaner, stronger, more violent Kevin is not it. And so it would please me.
When there is enough speed and lasers going around to cause earthquakes
Gwen has successfully let the rest of her team into the Weaverbird Nest
Gwen that is not a shortcut that is a vent. A vertical vent.
Charmcaster magicking up a portal, for extra specialness
So she stabilized the rift and also made FN a fuckign space/time cuff.
Simon got to her, she’s in a party hat
This child really needs to stop talking like she’s the fairy that blesses/curses the king in a 90s fantasy film
“I will only require on of you to accompany me into the rift. It’s your time, Ben.“ Fucking welp.
Everyone except Ben, Kevin, and the FN has a party hat
Kevin, baby, this is not safe or fun let somebody else go do not let your well-battered pride and your issues get your hurt or worse
“I’m sick of him getting everything when I’m obviously better!” My son. My dearest son. My precious child.
“Are you questioning me?“ Said in the most intimidating voice FN can manage and all I can think is, dude, how long have you been working with this child? Did you not actually meet him in all that time? Was he dealing with a body double. Did you think opening a rift in space and time would somehow change the fundamental aspects of his being that resonate throughout every Kevin that has ever been?
“The grease child is right!“ Okay, it’s official, somebody needs to find Kevin a shower and some soap
Kevin and Billy all for kicking Ben’s ass
And then Charm joins in the fun, because why not
“All this pettiness proves that Ben is worth more than all of you combined“ I’m gonna kill ‘im.
Charmcaster just looks defeated at that line. Like, honest to fuck, stick a fork in her, she’s done.
Kevin, on the other hand, doesn’t, not even a bit. He is straight up trembling with his anger. Or hurt? Both most likely, though I think the anger is in the lead.
Billy, meanwhile, looks shocked and angry at being called out like this.
And Simon looks just straight shocked.
And no response shown from Vin.
Ben, no, this is a very bad idea.
And we cut to the old folk and Gwen.
Welp, looks like everyone is all together
The ‘good’ news is half the children really wanna hit something right now. Especially Kevin.
‘Take out the Tennysons to prove your worth’ Welp
And there our hero goes with our Big Bad
I think we’ve hit part II and it only took like 3.5 hours. I’m gonna be a while longer I think.
Ancient Egyptians telling ancient Egyptian bad jokes
Gotta give the show one thing- at least it’s Egyptians are black
Also too drunk to be impressed by two weirdos stepping out a glowing purple portal. I can’t even roll my eyes because somebody needed to laugh at the FN
Ben: Unimpressed by FN’s taste in vacation spots
FN is using Ben to track alien attempts to contact Earth. The first of which was here, apparently.
Also this adds a whole new level of jackass to his behavior towards the other kids, given he could’ve very easily and truthfully pointed out that he needs a feature on the Omnitrix that Kevin’s watch presumably doesn’t have, but instead used the whole thing as an opportunity to tear the other kids down further. tl;dr: I cannot wait to see him become reboot!Kev’s first kill
We want to prevent the alien contact. Why? Who the fuck knows. Who the fuck cares. I want to stop him just out of spite.
And so we learn that he wants to get rid of all Omnitrixs so that he can take over Earth. Wonder how that would play out with regards to Kevin’s watch though. Because his didn’t come from space, to my knowledge we don’t know where it came from. Fuck, it could be contact from another dimension that lead to it (I mean, you saw OG!Kevin, whose to say Reboot!Kevin doesn’t also have some serious weirdness going on there that, combined with the fact his house has two radio towers in the backyard, that could lead to him getting messages from other dimensions like that). tl;dr: If FN succeeded, would that just lead to him having to worry about a Kevin he can’t use Ben against, rather than Ben himself?
‘Forever Nut’ that’s a good one, nice job Ben!
‘Forever Losers’ Ben’s on a roll
Ben out to kick this man’s ass
“I’m too powerful“ I really wanna drop OG!Kevin on this dude, I really do. Or fuck, can you picture him vs Kevin 11k? He’d be drawn and quartered, possibly eaten, within a minute and a half.
Well, there goes the Sphinx
Timed out and still raring to go
FN comes all the way out to ancient Egypt to stop aliens making contact, turns out they didn’t even do it
Kidnapping the child
Back to the present day, in the lab, with the fighting about to begin
Charmcaster and Kevin v Gwen. Charmcaster is already smug. Kevin, meanwhile, is offering her the chance to back down and not get hurt. Which, for Kevin, is pretty nice.
Billy and Simon v Phil. Is certainly a thing, but nothing interesting
Vin v Max. Both using the concept of ‘family’ against each other. Forklift v forklift. I wish I was surprised.
FN and Ben are in renaissance Italy now. Florence specifically.
Ben: I will stop you! FN: Kid I already kicked your ass. Ben: Well you’re gonna have to do it again!
Oh look, it’s the descendants of those two guys from ancient Egypt. It’s nice to see that their friendship has carried down through the ages.
“Serve your leader” has that worked on any of the people you nabbed? Besides maybe Vin? Because I’m fairly certain if you called yourself Kevin or Billy’s ‘leader’ to their faces they’d come at you harder than Ben is
FN, so far you have gone to two places and times, neither of which was where aliens made contact. Have you considered, quite possibly, that the problem is you?
You know Kevin is in a foul mood when he’s down to destroy Gwen.
Gwen, trying to give the ‘FN is a using pos’ realization to at least Kevin
Charmcaster interrupting her and also do you really think you of all people are the one who should be trying to bolster Kevin’s confidence? I mean, your history with him is enslavement and reading his private poetry to a crowd. You should be glad he’s not going after you.
Vin v Max, moved on to segway racing. And slapfights.
...small Phil and Max. By which I mean like, late teens. Apparently this is the third ‘alien contact’ option. Also Phil built that deathtrap as a teenager and he’s living in his parents’ old place. That is an old-ass suburbs given we don’t know how the fuck old these two are
Oh for fuck’s sake, have you considered getting a fucking hobby Forever Bitch? Take up scrapbooking or something, get into Minecraft
We’ve still got 7 minutes btw. We’re going faster in this half, but we’ve still got a third of the episode to go
Ben Shockrocking it up
Vin vs Max take 3- racing matchbox cars
Max decides to have a conversation with Vin, find out why he’s working with FN despite the latter being about as pleasant as a rabid zombie skunk in your pillow.
...1) Vin has a child. 2) That child is grown. 3) That child is a lawyer (congratulations Mr. Vin’s Kid) 4) Between said lawyer child moving on with their life and LaMoron being a dick Vin was lonely so he joined up.
“This is the closest thing to a family I have now“ One would think the fact you have a child would say otherwise, but if the fact that you seem to be totally fine with a bunch of kids being drug into this mess, including a 6-yo, says anything about your parenting then I’m not really surprised.
Max offers to let him become a Tennyson, which, if the family reunion episode is anything to go by, he may already be
Max and Vin are friends now. Phil is still being pursued by children. And Charm and Kev are still trying to take Gwen out.
“Once I finish you off, Forever Knight will easily choose me over Tennyson“ Oh Billy no... Have I mentioned I really wanna kill hat man? Painfully?
Simon is about to obliterate a man for the chance at being best friends with Billy. I would be even more concerned if he wasn’t FUCKING SIX-YEARS-OLD, VIN
Phil is going to survive via appealing to Simon’s inner and outer juice-loving six-yo
Welp. Sorry Billy.
Ooo, Gwen almost blasted Charm before Kevin deflected it, good job son!
“Kevin finish her off“ Bitch you finish her off
“Why? All we were supposed to do is keep everyone away from the portal.“ My son talking sense and also notably sticking only to orders. Out of spite, because he wants to, because the last time he tried to bend orders the FN nearly killed him? (and do any of the others know that that’s a risk I wonder, that if the FN doesn’t feel you’re doing your job ‘right’ he’ll decide to just off you)
“You’re soft“ You’re the one that wanted him to do the dirty part, Charm
Charm tries to kill Gwen and Kevin just fucking, shatters her amulet in retaliation.
Charmcaster: This is why you’ll never be Forever Knight’s right hand! Kevin: I handle things my way.
I love my child.
Kevin literally just used his last second before timing out to vine Charmcaster to the ceiling
That moment when you have a crush but hate that you have it, I recognize the look. Been there.
“Well yeah, I’m not a monster.“ On the topic of saving Gwen. My precious child
Gwen: *heading for portal to figure out what’s going on* Kevin: *heading for the portal because he’s got revenge to take*
Somebody needs to kick FN’s ass. And then eat him. Slowly. Painfully.
FN damn near killed Ben before Kevin fucking saved his life! Literally, man was gonna strike Ben down!
“I’m here for that ungrateful tin can!“ Yesss!!! My son!! Kick his ass!
Gwen is helping!
“You wanna know why I didn’t choose you? It’s because you’re just a cheap Tennyson knock-off.“ .....
.....
......
........
..........this motherfucker gotta go
Ben joins the fray!
“Cheap knock-off, huh?“ I, for one, am proud to be here for my son’s first kill
FD does not get to stop alien contact because he’s being dogpiled by a bunch of pissed-off preteens. Good.
The children got a hold of FD’s portal control. Gwen is gonna be working portals, Kevin is on ‘keep the FD from killing Ben’ duty. This was his decision. Which says a lot about how he feels about the FD
Kevin, looking for some sort’ve explanation for the fact FD is a dick and will always be a dick, because this is what abused children do
“I was the best fighter you had.“ “You were only a useless pawn.“ “I’m nobody’s pawn!“ My son
Battle in the rift
FD demands Kevin hand over the Tennysons “and make yourself for once“. Gwen is concerned he may do it when I believe anyone who can read facial expressions and/or a room knows who he’s growling at
“Kevin, think about this, you’re not a bad guy!“ “See, that’s where you’re wrong“ At which point Kevin lets go of the Tennysons and fucking dives at Forever Dipshit
Kevin sacrifices himself to take out FD and what’s Ben’s reaction? “Kevin, no! I’m the cool one!“
These fucking children.
“And Kevin steals the spotlight again“ “You really wanna be trapped in the past?“ “Alright, I’ll let him have this one“
Glad to see Ben recalling the tale. Glad to see he’s still grounded. Gwen is Good. Fuck off Vin.
1) the portal is still open 2) FD’s helmet came through it. Whether that’s because Kevin threw it through it as he beat the living hell out of him remains to be seen
And season 3 is over.
11/11, because my son fucking deserves it no matter what else goes on
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Finally Mine Part 2
AN: So before you guys read this I want to apologize for how long it took me to write this. I lost motivation for a while (nothing new there lol) but today was a really productive day for me so I decided to just finish it. A few notes about this story: One, the timing of this whole series is a lil awkward because these are based off real games that happened this season, and while it technically could have happened with how the schedule worked this season we’re just going to pretend there was a few weeks between the Vancouver game and the home game. Two, this is kind of a really shitty thing to do to somebody’s ex and while it’s fun to write about I would never imagine doing this in real life. I really hope you guys enjoy this!!
Based off of this series of gifs, and a series of asks a lovely anonymous user sent me that I’ll make sure are tagged under finally mine so you can find them https://pyatts.tumblr.com/post/183739792171/mzibanejad-26319-nyicbj
Word Count: 2,182
Warnings: smut, filming sex (not full out, just short clips), threesome
Translations for the French: “Merde, tu es si belle come ça, mendiant pour moi,”= Shit, you look so good like that, begging for me
“Oh mon dieu, tu es si belle, j'ai regardé les vidéos encore.....”= Oh my god, you’re so hot, I watched the videos again...
Pierre had practically begged you to fly to Columbus to watch him play the Islanders, and after the night you spent together in Vancouver you couldn’t pass up the offer. PL once again insisted on paying for the flight and hotel. You made it into town the day before the game, the same day the Islanders arrived. Pierre had told you he was meeting up with Mat and Beau for dinner, they hadn’t properly hung out since they played together in 2015. You cringed at the thought of your ex eating with, well, whatever PL was to you, especially since PL knew how things ended between you. You made him promise not to bring it up, and keep his responses brief if Mat said anything. He promised, but he also promised to bring Beau home with him for dessert. You’d seen the video, PL sent it to you one night after you asked what the wildest thing he’d ever done was. You knew Beau had wanted something to happen between you, him, and Mat, especially after the incident in his back seat. However, Mat was never willing, claiming he was too possessive over you and couldn’t watch one of his teammates do that to you. Now that he was out of the picture, well, nothing was stopping you. PL had done it before and was willing to do it again. So, it was decided that you’d meet them at the hotel where the Islanders were staying after they got back from dinner, and PL would be in Beau’s room. You went to your own hotel, and ordered room service for dinner. Soon you received a text from PL, much earlier than you’d expected. 
“Hey, Mat really wants you back. Beau and I are trying to convince him not to but I think he’s going to text you and try to get you back. Please don’t respond to him, let me handle it when you get to the hotel.”
You typed out a hasty reply promising you’d ignore it. Soon enough, you heard the text tone you’d set for Mat go off. You didn’t even open the message, knowing it would make you angry, sad, or all of the above. You just patiently waited, eating the food you ordered, until Luc texted you again.
 “Hey baby, just ordered you an Uber to Beau’s hotel. Should be there in about five minutes. His room # is 214.”
You texted back a thumbs up, and went downstairs. Once you were in the Uber it was a short ride to the other hotel, and it wasn’t until you were in the elevator that you felt yourself growing nervous. You weren’t quite sure what to expect tonight, but the nervousness was quickly overshadowed by excitement. You walked down the hallway and quietly knocked on the door. Beau answered, and quickly wrapped you up in a big hug. You hadn’t seen him since you broke up with Mat, and you hadn’t realized how much you missed him until now. He ushered you in and said something to Luc in French, before having you sit down on the edge of the bed. PL walked over and placed a kiss on your forehead before sitting next to you. Beau did the same, and moved to whisper in your ear.
 “Dinner was good, but boy am I excited for dessert.”
 “I’ve wanted this for so long Anthony, ever since I saw that video.” You couldn’t help yourself, you wanted him to know that you were equally excited.
 “Seems like everyone’s eager, what are we waiting for?” asked PL and his hands moved to the hem of your t shirt before pulling it off your body. He slipped his hand into your back pocket and grabbed your phone. He handed it to you to unlock, and once you did he opened the message from Mat. He rested his hand on your thigh and took a photo, and sent that to Mat in response. The three of you ignored the buzzing noises it made when he set it down on the bedside table before moving to slide your jeans down. He and Beau discarded their shirts and pants, and soon enough you were completely naked in Luc’s lap, back to his chest, with him leaning against the headboard. Beau sat at the foot of the bed, watching what was happening in front of him. PL had his two middle fingers buried inside of you, and his other hand had moved up to stroke your hair, and eventually muffle your moans when you began to grow louder. 
“Shhhhh, Mat’s in the room next to us. Don’t want to make him angry do we?” You shook your head as much as you could with Luc’s hand pressed over your mouth. You tried to be quiet but you couldn’t hold back a loud groan as he made you come. He ordered you to turn around and face him. He grabbed his phone from where he’d put it, gave you a look as if to ask permission, and once you nodded your head he hit record. He kept your face out of frame, showing you from the shoulders down. He brought his free hand down to rub your clit gently, and you quietly moaned his name. It was partly for show, knowing he loved when you called him Luc. 
“Please daddy,” you whimpered, and you watched his cock twitch in response. He sent the video, captioning it “guess who?” and you saw Mat’s name show up on his phone screen soon after, you could only assume that’s who he sent it to. You didn’t want to think about him right now, so you stroked Luc a few times before lining your hips up and sinking down slowly. You both let out out breathy little noises, trying to stay quiet. You moved slowly at first, rocking your hips back and forth rather than moving up and down. Beau came to kneel beside PL’s legs, leaning over to place kisses on your neck and collar bone. He left small marks that would be covered by your jersey tomorrow night, sucking an especially dark bruise into the skin between your breasts. He kissed the tattoo on your shoulder, before turning your head to kiss your lips. He bit your bottom lip gently, but didn’t move to deepen the kiss when you let out a small gasp. He pulled away slowly and moved back to the foot of the bed, explaining he was content to wait his turn. Luc began to thrust upwards to meet your hips as they moved up and down, dragging you closer to the edge each time.
 “Fuck, I’m close, please Luc please,” you begged. 
“What did you call me?” PL whispered in your ear, accent bleeding into his words.
 “Please daddy,” you said, unable to form a coherent sentence. 
“Merde, tu es si belle come ça, mendiant pour moi,” said Pierre under his breath, the French meaning nothing to you but sounding nice nonetheless. You draped yourself across Luc’s chest, not trusting yourself to stay upright otherwise. This gave him the perfect opportunity to lift your chin and force to look into his eyes. 
“Come on, Y/N, come for me.” You weren’t sure if it was the look in his eyes, his husky voice, or the way he moved his hips, but he made you come so hard your mind went blank. You couldn’t think about anything except the waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Pierre brought his lips to yours to muffle the noise you made, and rocked his hips slowly as you came down. Your body felt like jello, and his voice sounded far away when he spoke up. 
“Let’s let Tito have a turn, eh?” You simply nodded your head, and PL lifted you out of his lap. You eventually ended up on all fours with Anthony behind you and Pierre still sitting against the head board. You leaned down to take Pierre’s dick into your mouth, focusing on the head before starting to bob your head slowly. You moaned around him when Anthony slowly slid into you, causing his hips to buck slightly. Anthony’s phone buzzed and he merely picked it up, and chuckled once he read the notification. 
“It’s a text from Mat. He said ‘can you keep it down over there? Some of us are trying to sleep.’” Pierre’s quiet laugh turned into a moan when you took him particularly deep. 
“What do you say we show Mat what he’s missing, hm sweetheart?” asked Anthony, and you pulled off Luc to nod. He took a video of himself slowly fucking into you, his other hand grabbing your ass and smacking it lightly. Another video showed Luc’s fingers threaded through your hair. You knew Mat would be able to see the tattoo on your shoulder, and you knew if he put two and two together he’d realize it was you. However, you couldn’t find it within yourself to be too upset about that. Soon enough Pierre choked out that he was close, and you swallowed him down as far as you could. He came down your throat with a groan, trying and failing to muffle it by biting down on his lower lip. Anthony wasn’t far behind him, and you felt him spill inside of you, filling you with his cum. He pulled out slowly, taking another video when his cum started to slowly drip down your inner thigh. You all stayed there for a minute before deciding to get up to shower. What began as cleaning you up turned into making out with Anthony while Pierre fingered you until you came again, moaning against Tito’s mouth. You slowly got dressed and made your way into the elevator and eventually into the Uber one of the boys had called for you. You eventually collapsed into the bed in your hotel room, quite frankly exhausted. You dawn you had notifications from Pierre, Tito, and Mat. You opened the one from Anthony first, a simple thank you and the offer to hang out once you were both back in New York. Then you skimmed through what Mat had sent you, not really bothering to read it properly. Finally you opened the videos Luc had sent you. You were greeted with the sight of him palming himself through his grey sweatpants. He said something in French that you couldn’t quite understand, but he sounded turned on to say the least. 
“Oh mon dieu, tu es si belle, j'ai regardé les vidéos encore.....” he hadn't sent anything else, except a black screen with the caption "you're going to be the death of me baby girl". You sent back a selfie, caption telling him you couldn't wait for the game tomorrow. You found yourself drifting off, scenes from earlier that night on repeat in your mind. The next day you didn't do anything interesting until heading to Nationwide for the game. You had your Dubois jersey on, and went down to the ice for warm ups. You thought nothing of it until the Islanders skated out and you locked eyes with Mat. If looks could kill, you'd be dead in a second. You could tell there was something he wanted to say to you but he couldn't exactly skate over to where you were standing and talk to you, so he had to settle for shooting you dirty looks. You were startled out of your thoughts when Pierre tapped his stick on the plexiglass next to you. Once he had your attention, he mouthed the words "You okay?" to you, a look of concern dancing across his face. You nodded, not wanting to let Mat spoil your evening. Your focus turned to the Blue Jackets for the rest of warmups. Once the game started you could tell Mat was angry, and Pierre was having none of it. Mat must have been mouthing off on his way to the bench, because seemingly out of nowhere Pierre took it upon himself to shove him, hard. This of course only served to annoy Mat further, and soon the two of them were tangled up, inches away from fighting. They were separated before punches could be thrown and sent to the box for roughing, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't turned on by the whole ordeal, and you didn't find the smug look on Luc's face on his way to the box oddly endearing. Columbus ended up shutting out the Islanders 4-0, and it felt like some small form of revenge watching Mat skate off the ice with a scowl on his face. You found yourself thinking bout the next time you'd be able to see Pierre on the Uber ride back to your hotel, already looking for the opportunity to spend time with him again. You could figure out the details later, talk like adults and define your relationship. For now, all that you wanted to do was stay up way too late talking to a boy you liked a little too much.
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harryhighkey · 6 years
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hello hi hi hi, it’s been one long ass minute but i’m back w another one shot!!! i’m v aware it’s not how you want him part 3 and that is what 90% of my messages are about, but, well this is not that at all, it’s something completely different
idk if u heard but thank u next dropped and i fucking love it!!!!!!! NASA is my favourite favourite favourite and this one shot is honestly a little inspired by it!! also, i’m kind of a little bit self-projecting bc of my own experiences lately lmao
but idk, like my last one shot i needed to write this for me right now and idk i love the idea of it and all that
it’s v angst i think, might do a part 2?????? might not???? sorry if there’s mistakes, i literally wrote it all down in one sitting bc i was just !!!!!! issa mood u know
ANYWAY LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK!!! PLS ENJOY 
___________________________
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One hundred and fourteen days is a really long time to spend away from the person you love. A really fucking long time. It’s almost a third of the year, a whole season you could spend apart. And in your case, the season was autumn.
Harry had left during the last weeks of summer and you’d spent the entirety of autumn without him. Even communicating was a little difficult with him constantly changing timezones and countries. The first few weeks were hard. Really, really hard. You and Harry were seemingly still in that honeymoon phase when he was boarding his plane, even after seven months of officially being a couple you two were inseparable and couldn’t get enough of each other. And then all of a sudden he was just gone.
It was a weird thing to feel, it was something kind of a like a break up, except not that all at the same time. Your heart was left feeling empty when he left, but it wasn’t broken in a way that you knew he was gone forever. But you did know it was going to be a long time.
On day twenty-two, you felt a little change. You were perking up again, replying to messages from friends, adding to your Instagram story again. The longing was still there but that morning you awoke early and embarked on doing a massive clean out of your apartment on your days off from work and after everything was re-organised, you felt refreshed.
Day twenty-nine was when Harry noticed that change. He often felt bad when he would call you on a high from singing in front of thousands of his fans and you were cooped up in your one bedroom place. It was never your intention for him to feel bad, you loved that he got to do what he loved. It made you happy to see him happy you just wished you could be with him to experience the same happiness. That was until you realised you’d found happiness in other places. Suddenly you realised, your life had existed before Harry, and honestly, you kind of loved your life. Your apartment only seemed small because you’d been staying in lavish penthouses on weekends away. And your apartment had kind of begun become a pit where you would disregard clothes in a hurry to pack a new suitcase for the next little trip he would take you on. Without Harry there, you began to love the things about your apartment you did before and do the things you used to do before your boyfriend was someone who could be instantly recognised by millions of people.
Harry had Facetimed you and you didn’t answer as quickly as you normally did. You weren’t just sitting and waiting for him to call. Once you answered you could barely hear him. You were out with your friends, your smile was bright but honestly, you barely paid him any attention.
It was a quick call, one that had Harry left a bit perplexed. He was happy you were happy, but he couldn’t ignore the insulted way he felt that he didn’t have the full attention off of you that he had become so accustomed to receiving.
Day forty-four. He cried. Really cried because of how much he missed you. He’d had a really hard day with the media blasting headlines everywhere about him and a model he wasn’t even sure if he had met before. You felt for him, and listened as he vented and promised you none of it was true. You told him he didn’t have to reassure you, you knew the truth. Of course you believed him, you trusted his loyalty to you. However, you’d been so distracted by the good things happening for you, you hadn’t thought to check the TMZ YouTube or even search Harry Styles on twitter to see what was going on. You didn’t even have a clue any of this was being said. It wasn’t really an issue for you at all, until Harry had brought it up, the only reason it had an affect on you was because it had an affect on him.
Day seventy-six you were both so happy. So, so, so happy. Harry had just played to his biggest crowd yet and you’d been offered a promotion at work. Both of your lives were riding high in their own rights. They just weren’t two lives together at this point.
Day one hundred and thirteen at 11:02pm, he showed up at your front door. He’d managed to find a private jet and fly home early. He surprised you. And fuck, your heart flew high. You were so in love with that boy and as he kissed you for the first time in a long time, you melted right into him again. The two of you made love all night. You called in sick to work the next day and the two of you spent the entire day together just laughing, kissing and touching each other. You couldn’t get enough of him, he couldn’t get enough of you.
Day one hundred and thirty-two, it was well and truly winter now, the days were cold and the nights were freezing but you had Harry at night to keep you warm, now. Then again, your blankets did just as good of a job, too.
What?
You weren’t that surprised, though, that wasn’t the first time you had a thought like that.
He had been home for nineteen days now, almost three full weeks. And fuck, did you love him, but fuck, did you want just a little room to breathe.
Three days ago, on day sixteen of him being home was when you really felt yourself getting annoyed. One of your favourite shows came back with a new season while Harry was away and you’d made a ritual every week of putting on a face mask and watching it in peace.
Harry thought he would watch it with you, and you didn’t mind. You were excited, at least at first you were. Then he started asking questions. From there it was a fast drop and everything he did started to annoy you. Eventually you told him to shut up and leave you alone. He went to bed, shocked.
The next day you didn’t talk about it, you woke up earlier than usual because you had an early start at work. You didn’t tell Harry.
Back to day one hundred and thirty-two, nineteen days into Harry being back and you came home from work to see him asleep on your little pink couch. Another time you would have found him so cute and endearing, but right now you felt like you couldn’t escape him. You went to your bedroom and his suitcase was opened, his clothes messily lingering around it. You went to your bathroom, he’d left the toothpaste opened. Again. Fuck you hated that.
Harry was staying with you, and when you said he could, you thought it would be fine. You thought it would be better than fine, you’d thought you would love it. He had sold his place before he left, the market was a good and his real estate agent told him he’d make a huge profit. He did, but now he was living in your little apartment with you and the place you once loved, then loathed and then loved again you were starting to loathe once more.
Or were you not loving Harry being there?
“Fuck this.” You murmured to yourself before you quickly got changed out of the clothes you wore to work and into something more comfortable before you grabbed your keys and left again.
It was 1:52am - or one hour and fifty-two minutes of day one hundred and thirty-three, twenty days of Harry being back - when you answered his call drunk.
“’lo boyfriend.”
“Oh my god, why haven’t you answered your phone?” He was relieved when you answered, after several attempts to contact you failed, he was starting to get desperate.
“I did right now?”
“You couldn’t answer any earlier?”
“Nah.” It was nice to have him on the phone, it reminded you of when he was away and when you missed him, you only thought about how much he loved you.
“Nah? What do you mean nah?” The word sounded so strange in his accent, you giggled. “What’re you laughing for?”
“You’re so pretty on the phone.”
“You’re really quite drunk. Did you drive?”
“Yeah.”
“Shit, you got a ride home?”
“You still at my place?”
“Yeah, want me to get you?”
“Nah, want you gone when I get home.”
“What?” All that wine had given you liquid courage and while right now you weren’t feeling remorseful over what you had said, Harry felt that blow, he felt it hard. “Y/N?”
“You heard me. I just..give me some room to breathe.”
“Where is this coming from?”
“Don’t know.” You did know, he was crowding in on the life you had found once again while he was away.
“Do, do you want to break up?” He went quiet when he asked that, as if he was afraid to ask the question. You were being brutally honest in this moment and he wasn’t sure what other kind of swings he was going to take from you right now.
“No, fuck no.” Your reply was instant, he was relieved again. “Love you so much, Harry, really. Never wan’ end it.”
“I don’t understand, then, what’s the issue?”
“I just, like, my place is a little too small for the both of us, you know?”
“I can get us a bigger place-”
“I don’t want a bigger place, I like my place.”
“What do you want, then? I'd give you the whole world if I could.” He was on the verge of tears, his eyes were welling up and you couldn’t see him but you could imagine it pretty well.
“Baby, s’okay. I don’t want the world, just want... a little space. Space. I want space, not the world.”
“You don’t want me here?”
“Not at the moment, I want a little me time, again.” 
“We were apart for so long.”
“Yeah.. and remember how good we were those first couple’a weeks. Go away again. Give me a chance to miss you.” You really thought you couldn’t have been more clear, but when Harry didn’t respond, you felt guilt creeping in. “It’s not a bad thing, Harry. I love you and I want you forever and all that, but shit, usually I love it when you stay, I do. I just- I’m on another kind of page right now. There’s nothing wrong with some me time.”
“Okay.” His reply was so simple, so quick you couldn’t at all get a hint at what he would be doing on the other end. “Are you coming back here tonight?”
“Nah, going to stay with a friend. Be there tomorrow sometime.”
“Text me when you’re there? Wanna know you’re safe.”
“I will.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Night...I love you.” You were so sure of yourself when you’d been telling Harry exactly how you’d been feeling but now you were terrified of not hearing those words returned.
“I love you, too.” He hung up then.
Your emotions were all over the place as you stared at the picture that was your lockscreen background. Taken on day one hundred and seventeen, four days of him being home, he was laying on the couch with his arms lifted and bent and covering part of his face, but you could see his smile. His beautiful smile that made you smile, you were behind the camera and had been straddling his hips. You thought back to that moment of post lazy morning sex and he looked so gorgeous you couldn’t help but to take a photo, which he tried to avoid, but his smile was perfect. You swore that right now, you could hear the exact laugh he did on that perfect day. You wanted to feel like that again.
Fuck.
Did you make a mistake?
No, you were sure to get back to that moment, you needed the space. Right?
Right now, you couldn’t think about it, you weren’t going to let yourself have that internal battle. Instead, you went back inside the bar with your friends to have one last glass of wine and a hungover version of you on day one hundred and thirty-three could face the consequences.
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