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terrible profilers
(aka the team meets early seasons!spence's not-so-secret girlfriend)
a/n: this came to me in my dream last night and i cannot get over it, pls send asks/requests and tell me what you thought! (look at '#mystery girl!au' on my blog to see more musings about them <3)
cw: reader has she/her pronouns, the team is nosy, my niche personal headcanons of how i think spencer would text, probably more tech inaccuracies
wc: 3.5k
part one
(reblogs are the only way to promote fics on tumblr! please reblog if you enjoyed it :) )
mlist
The moment Spencer walks into the bullpen, he knows something’s up. Garcia never replied to the text he’d sent on Friday night, and he’d hoped she was just busy on their first weekend off in a while, but it’s clear there’s more. Clutching the strap of his satchel, he walks to his desk, observing the strange tension blanketing the room. For one, Hotch and Gideon are in the bullpen, standing in the corner speaking in hushed tones. Weird. They usually go to one of their offices to talk, and either way, they usually are stuck in their offices until lunchtime when they don’t have cases. Another thing. JJ and Penelope are standing around Elle’s desk, which isn’t out of the ordinary, but they’ve swivelled around to stare at Spencer like he’s an alien (which they do on occasion, but Spencer is pretty sure he hasn’t been strange yet. He just walked in!). Derek is sitting on Elle’s desk, leaning over to huddle with the three girls, but he’s frozen with his mouth open, like he just shut up for some reason.
“Uh… Good morning.” Spencer furrows his brows, but tries to shrug it off, more interested in the smell of coffee emanating from the kitchenette. Setting down his bag, he quickly busies himself with pouring his signature overly-sweet (according to you) coffee.
It’s like his movements snap a thread that has been holding his colleagues together, and they suddenly start bustling around the bullpen again. Derek sidles up beside him as he’s stirring in sugar, and Spencer braces himself for some Morgan-esque prod. But what he says has Spencer confused.
“Kid. You know you can tell me anything, right?”
Ok, something is going on. Spencer has worked with Derek since he was 22, and they’ve fallen into a very comfortable dynamic ever since. But neither of them have ever felt the need to reassure the other of their closeness.
“What’s up, Morgan? No jabs today?”
Derek stiffens, like he’s been caught in a lie, and scrambles to reply.
“Well… We- Um, Garcia worried about you on Friday. What was up with you leaving so suddenly?”
Spencer has to bite back a smile, memories of you, coming to ‘O Keefe’s just to see him, flooding into his mind. But he answers as smoothly as possible, still turned away from Derek as he elaborates.
“Oh, I felt a bit sick. I think it’s going back and forth from the more arid parts of the country that did it. Did you know, travelling between warmer and colder climates makes you more susceptible to contracting viruses because it strains your immune and musculoskeletal systems, causing the feedback loop of homeostasis to-” Derek puts a hand on his arm, and Spencer quiets.
“Okay, okay, pretty boy, I get it.”
With that, he walks off, and Spencer is left at the kitchenette, stirring his coffee, confused. It’s not like it was a lie, he was feeling a bit nauseous in the bar, so you insisted that you go home. He recovered that same night over a cup of tea, Metropolis on the television, and you cuddled up on the couch next to him.
When he walks back to his desk, mug in hand, he calls out to JJ, still standing by Elle’s desk.
“JJ, no cases today? …JJ?” The blonde is looking at him, but his words seem to fly right over her head, until Elle pokes her shoulder.
“Oh! No, the cases I’m being called about are still pending, we’re probably not leaving on anything until tomorrow.” Spencer smiles softly, glad to have at least one more night sleeping at home this week. Because of his reverie, he doesn’t notice the way JJ, Penelope and Elle are staring at him, befuddled expressions on their faces.
The day continues to be a little weird, much to Spencer’s chagrin. Around 1pm, Gideon emerges from his office again. This, already, is out of the blue. Gideon only leaves his office an average of 3.78 times a day, mainly to go to Hotch’s office, or to go home. This time, however, Gideon marches to Spencer’s desk.
Gideon comes to a stop next to Spencer’s desk chair, and it’s all he can do to muster a blank face and look into his mentor’s eyes.
“Hey, Gideon. What’s… What’s going on?”
The older man sighs wearily, looking down his nose at Spencer, looking uncannily like Spencer’s highschool Calculus teacher when she got irritated at him for being a ‘13 year old know-it-all’.
“Reid. You weren’t sick on Friday, were you?” What is happening? Spencer doesn’t lie, he’s never told Gideon something untrue, so this is incredibly out of the blue.
“Huh? No, what’s wrong? I felt nauseous, which could’ve been a symptom for an inner ear problem, inflammatory bowel disease, gastroenteritis…” Spencer continues to rattle off a list of things he could have had, not noticing the uncharacteristically soft, paternal gaze that Gideon has trained on him.
“...and even a brain tumour, but it was probably because I drank more than I usually do. Why do you think that’s not true?” Spencer finishes his little speech, looking up at Gideon with a confused expression. There’s nothing else the older man can do but sigh, patting his shoulder softly.
“Okay, Reid. Glad you’re feeling better now.” With that, the experienced profiler walks away, not bothering to reply to Spencer’s continued questioning:
“Gideon! What’s wrong? Why are you-” Gideon’s office door slams shut.
Unfortunately, Spencer cannot ignore the rest of the signs, spending the rest of the day in a state of coiled anxiety. Something is going on, but he can’t get anyone to tell him.
Derek and Elle are constantly glancing over at him, unreadable expressions on their faces. Penelope keeps finding excuses to go to Spencer’s desk, and even if Spencer wasn’t a profiler, he’d be able to see the words bubbling up in her throat, but she never says anything.
JJ doesn’t come talk to him at all, which is strange. Instead, she shoots him knowing looks whenever she’s in the bullpen, sending Spencer into a spiral every time she doesn’t say anything about why they’re all acting weird.
He’s even caught Hotch and Gideon peeking through the blinds over their office windows to look at Spencer, with the analytical looks they get when they’re observing a crime scene on their faces. It’s driving Spencer crazy, and he has to tell someone.
You’re leaving your desk at the university when your phone buzzes.
SPENCE <3: Hi. I looked normal when I left the house, right?
Your brow furrows at the text. Normally Spencer isn’t a fan of texting while he’s at work, and you’d told him multiple times how handsome he looked when he left the apartment this morning. He’s wearing his striped white button down and the purple tie you bought him for his birthday last year, he looks pretty. And you made sure to tell him so.
YOU: hi <3
YOU: no spence you look pretty i told you this morning didnt i?
SPENCE <3: You did, thank you. Everyone’s acting weird at work, and I can’t think of what it could be.
YOU: maybe its something with a case?
SPENCE <3: They would tell me if it was that, right?
YOU: ur right
YOU: if you cant think of it with that big beautiful brain its probably something to do with them
There’s a solid minute of silence before he texts you back, and you grin to yourself as you walk through the halls. You can see the flush growing over his face in your mind’s eye, the way he does every time you pay him a cheesy compliment.
SPENCE <3: I guess so. They won’t tell me anything about it, which is strange.
You frown a little, imagining his frustration at being out of the loop. Spencer has expressed his love for his coworkers to you many times, but he’s also told you about his struggles feeling like the ‘baby’ of the office, and the way it makes him feel isolated at times. Racking your brain to think of a way to cheer him up, you check the time on your watch (the twin of which is settled on Spencer’s wrist).
YOU: its nearly 6
YOU: if i leave my building now i can make it to your office in 30mins
YOU: i can pick you up and we could get thai for dinner
YOU: ?
The reply is instantaneous, and you smile, looking forward to seeing him earlier than you’d expected today.
SPENCE <3: That sounds great. I’m finishing up here but text me when you’re in the lobby and I’ll come down.
SPENCE <3: I need to go, I’ve been texting you from the bathroom.
SPENCE <3: See you soon :-)
The last half hour of Spencer’s workday flies by, unlike the way the clock had crawled previously. He finishes up the consults he was working on for the day, and begins packing up the moment the clock hits 18:27.
Derek and Elle are still sneaking glances at him, but Spencer couldn’t care less at this point. As he closes the flap of his satchel, his phone buzzes in his breast pocket. He can’t help but whip out his phone immediately, missing the bewildered looks that pass between his fellow profilers as he smiles down at the screen.
Y/N L/N: in the lobby now! i forgot how fancy it is here i feel underdressed
He doesn’t bother replying, instead opting to leave the bullpen through the glass doors, nodding at Derek and Elle, and pressing the elevator button immediately. He’s so engrossed in his thoughts as he stares at the closed doors, that he realises far too late what’s happening behind him.
He can hear the sounds of shuffling feet, a squeak of surprise (Penelope), hissed insult (Elle to Derek), and a firm clearing of a throat. Hotch. After sighing petulantly, Spencer turns on his heels to find the entire BAU team standing there, faces just as confusing as they’ve been all day.
“I’d ask you what’s wrong, but none of you gave me an answer the last 23 times I asked, so.”
There’s a beat of silence, before Hotch, of all people, says, “Reid, we need to… ask you something. About last Friday.” That’s strange. Spencer cocks his head in confusion.
“What about it? I already told Morgan and Gideon, I was feeling sick, but it turns out it was just that I’d just drank more than I was used to.”
Penelope looks like she’s about to burst, and finally, she blurts it out, voice slightly shrill. “Reid! Who is she?”
“Who is who?”
Derek butts in, a hand on Penelope’s shoulder. “Kid, that girl. The girl you were… close to, on Friday. At the bar?” Oh. That’s what they’re talking about?
“That was Y/N. My girlfriend. Are you mad I didn’t introduce you guys? I thought you were all busy.”
Spencer sees six sets of jaws drop. There’s more silence, before JJ croaks out, “Girlfriend?”
It’s a bit of a sight, to be honest. Penelope has clutched on to Derek, and Derek on to Elle. JJ is gobsmacked, eyes bulging out of their sockets. Even Hotch and Gideon look the most shocked Spencer has ever seen them. But why?
“Uh, yeah. She came to see me because we’d had plans before we decided to go out. Then when she found out I felt sick we went home.”
Gideon looks a little green, and when no one makes a sound, Hotch speaks, his normally stoic voice coming out a little shaky. “Reid, we didn't- We didn’t know you were seeing anybody.”
What? Now they’re being even weirder. Spencer can hear the elevator doors open behind him, but he doesn’t bother. This is something he has to get to the bottom of.
“How did you not know? I’m sure I’ve mentioned having plans with her multiple times. Elle, I told you about the time I went to the movies in New York with her, when we were on that case.” Elle looks more shocked, if that’s possible, but doesn’t say a word.
“Garcia, I asked you to help me find florists that have Gibraltar campions in Vegas that one time.” Penelope jolts, muttering under her breath about ‘idiot geniuses and their mothers’.
“Gideon, I asked you for advice on how to ask her out!” Gideon stiffens, remembering the time Spencer had asked him about his ex-wife. Was that Spencer asking for advice?
“I ran into you, JJ and Morgan, when I was with her, don’t you remember? She was in the aisle over” Derek distinctly remembers a time at the bookstore, they’d seen Spencer, but not noticed anyone with him. JJ shamefully recalls being too busy making fun of Spencer’s heart-studded tie to look around.
“Hotch, I told you about her! When I added her to my emergency contacts?” At this, Hotch pales. A year ago, Spencer had come to him with a request to change his 1st emergency contact from his mother to a Y/N L/N. How he never registered that this was a girlfriend, Hotch would never know, but he stares fixedly at his shoes as he contemplates quitting his job as a profiler.
Spencer looks at them, mystified. How did they not know? It’s not like he was ever hiding you! Of course, Spencer wanted to keep you to himself, so he didn’t talk about you that much, but they were profilers. He assumed they’d known, and just didn't want to embarrass him.
His phone buzzes twice, and he pulls it out to see another text from you.
Y/N L/N: spence are you coming
Y/N L/N: a guy in a suit is eyeing me weird he knows i dont belong come save me
A happy sigh leaves him, before he remembers the people standing in front of him, still gobsmacked. He scrubs a hand down his face wearily, and mutters slowly, as if he’s not sure if he wants to do this.
“She’s downstairs right now, we were going to take the metro home together. Do you… Do you guys want to meet her?” Penelope brightens up, and the rest of the team seem in higher spirits, despite their continued disappointment in themselves. Warily, Spencer opens the elevator door with a press of a button, and they all file in obediently.
“Please don’t be weird.”
“My good doctor, I would never!” He eyes Garcia with a fearful expression, but presses the ground floor button anyway. As the doors close, a strangled shout leaves JJ’s mouth.
“Wait, you live together?”
You are sitting on a bench inside the FBI Headquarters. No matter how many times you drop Spencer off or pick him up, this will always be surreal to you. And, right now, it’s not just surreal, it’s a little scary.
A real Danny Ocean type guy is sitting on a bench across the room, talking on the phone and eyeing you. Clearly, you don’t exactly look like an agent, you know that. Dressed in the uniform of a PhD student, jeans and an oversized Doctor Who t-shirt (Spencer’s), you know that you look out of place.
You’re just hoping Spencer walks out of the elevator before you get escorted out on suspicions that you’re a spy or something.
Like some deity has heard your words, you look up at the ding of the elevator to see Spencer… and a whole gaggle of people behind him, slapping at his shoulders and barraging him with questions. He looks harried, a line between his pretty eyes.
The line disappears, though, when he locks eyes with you. His eyes light up, and his steps grow in length, before he's left his entourage behind, at least for a couple of seconds.
He uses this time to explain to you: “Hi hello I'm so glad you're here and I need to tell you something-” As if on instinct, your hands come up to rest on his upper arms, thumbs moving in circles soothingly as he continues to ramble.
“-and well, they didn't know about you somehow? Which is crazy to me because you know I don't hide you so I don't know where they got that from but either way they were acting crazy, so I suggested they come meet you, and…” The group of people you now recognize to be the BAU have caught up to him, eyes darting between your face and Spencer's. His shoulders slump, and the agitated look returns, if a little less intense.
“Well, here they are.” He motions to the group behind him. “These are my coworkers, Jennifer Jareau, Elle Greenaway, Penelope Garcia, Aaron Hotchner, Jason Gideon, and Derek Morgan. Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”
Rising on your toes to see over his shoulder, you wave with a smile, eyes zeroing in on Penelope Garcia, who looks like she's vibrating from excitement, shouldering past Spencer to hold both of your hands.
“Hi! It's so good to meet you! I'd say I've heard a lot about you, but you know that's a lie, we didn't realize you existed until 10 minutes ago, but oh my god! You're here! You're so pretty- Spencer, she's so pretty!” She's practically bouncing up and down, causing Spencer to laugh sheepishly.
“Yeah, Garcia, I know that.” The next few minutes are a barrage of introductions and handshakes, all so brief that you can only get quick first impressions of them all.
Penelope is incredibly kind, not letting go of your hands until Spencer pries her off of you, telling you that you have to come out on girl's night with us, exactly like Spencer described her.
Elle is nearly intimidatingly cool, giving you a handshake and a smile, mentioning that she likes your eyeliner.
Aaron (Hotch? You're not sure how to refer to him) is nowhere near as stoic and intimidating as Spencer makes him out to be, breaking into a smile as he introduces himself, and grinning even wider when you congratulate him and his wife on their newborn child.
JJ is the sweetest. You've heard a lot about Spencer's best friend, and she lives up to expectations, squeezing you into a chaste hug with warm words.
Gideon is a little terrifying. He gives you a handshake, quirking the side of his lips in what you assume to be a smile, but saying very little beyond an introduction. You know how highly Spencer thinks of him, and hope he will warm up to you (Spencer is over the moon that he smiled, and tells you Gideon loved you later that night).
Derek is exactly how you expected him to be. Somehow, he makes you feel wholly comfortable after a single comment, and promises to regale you with all the Spencer stories you'd want (you see him punch Spencer in the arm, grinning and saying he approved).
Spencer pulls you away from them as quick as he can, citing your dinner plans as an excuse. He slings an arm around your waist, leading you out the door as you wave over your shoulder.
“It was great to meet you guys! We should go out to dinner or something!” You hear mixed shouts of agreement from behind you, before the doors shut and it's just you and Spencer, on the sidewalk outside the building.
It's butterfly-inducing, the way you can see the tension leave his shoulders when he turns to look down at you, brown eyes shining.
“I'm sorry that was so last-minute, I know they can be… a lot.” You giggle at the weariness in his tone, resting your forearms on his shoulders.
“They were really nice, Spence. I'm glad to finally meet them. They didn't know who I was?” He sighs, hands tightening slightly on your waist.
“I don't know what goes on with them half the time. I've told them things about you so many times, but they were just being dense, I suppose. They saw us on Friday, at ‘O Keefe’s, and they had no idea I was seeing someone!” He bends to rest his forehead in the crook of your neck with a sigh. As if on instinct, your hands come up to play with his hair.
“I guess they would have found it a little strange that you acted like nothing had changed, huh? Is that why they were being weird today?” He grumbles unintelligible words into your skin, before raising his head to look at you.
“I guess… You know I wasn't hiding you, right? I really thought they knew about you,” The earnestness on his face makes you want to implode, his thumbs rubbing minutely on your waist. Speaking would pop the bubble you've found yourselves in, so you find the best next option for you to show him your assertion.
Your hands roam up his neck to cup either side of his jaw, and slow, slow, slowly, you rise to your toes and kiss him.
Suddenly, Spencer's not worried anymore.
#divas send me an ask and tell me what you thought!!!!#requests are welcome!!#reader is so self-indulgently me in this miniseries#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fic#posted from my phone bc im at the airport tell me if there are any formatting mistakes pls#mystery girl!au
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The Hymen Myth and Why It's a Total Lie
Let's talk about the whole "hymen as a freshness seal" myth. You wanna know how much of a lie the "you’re supposed to bleed your first time" or "the hymen is proof of virginity" is?
I had something called an imperforated hymen. Yup, it's a real condition. Look it up. Mine wasn’t completely sealed (i can't believe some people still think this is the norm like, how would we even menstruate. Anyway), it was "microperforated," but it still made my periods super painful and sex unbelievably worse. I bled, like, a lot the first times i had penetration, until I finally went to a gynecologist and learnt what was actually going on :') I had to get surgery. Yeah, SURGERY. General anesthesia, an incision, sutures, antibiotics—the whole deal. Apparently, it’s not even that uncommon of a procedure (nowadays obvs), they told me it's totally routine.
What’s actually supposed to happen is that as you grow older, your hymen becomes more elastic as you reach FULL —focus on COMPLETE– sexual maturity. And once you body is ready, you should be able to have pain-free sex. Easy peasy.
Here’s the thing: the hymen is elastic. Its purpose is NOT to be "broken" (seriously, how impractical would that be?), but to prevent infections during infancy. This means that, in my case, it could even 1 stretch every time, which was what originated the pain or 2 yeah, be torn by force. During history, as you can probably guess, option number 2 was the most common one, with its consequential bleeding.
So, if it is obviously not the norm, where does the idea of "bleeding during your first time" come from? Well, mostly rape. Women were routinely raped their first time, which lead to tearing and, thus, bleeding. (https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2214.2007.00818_7.x thanks @deadfish-inabarrel for the link, super interesting article)
So, if something hurts during penetration, INCLUDING YOUR FIRST TIME, stop immediately. Something’s wrong!!! You don’t have to endure it. Even if it were natural (spoiler: it’s not), you don’t have to go through it if you don’t want to.
And the most important part—get this ingrained in your brain, and make you all the younger girls you know understand: Pain. During. Sex. Is. Not. Normal.
#english is not my first language#so pls if u see any grammar mistakes or something that is difficult to understand pls tell me#like for real tell me bcs i wanna improve my English djfjfjc#feminism#virginity#hymen#sex ed#feminismo#terfblr#radblr#radical feminism#radfems do touch#radfem#radfem safe#radfems please interact#radical feminist safe#radfems please touch
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i love them so much
*extra*
i meant to post this on halloween but my sugar loaded brain wasn't having it
#btw pls tell me if you notice any mistakes!#still trying to figure tumblr out#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#save rottmnt#screenshot redraw#inkntart
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NSFW Alphabet | DYLAN MINNETTE HEADCANONS
warning: NSFW content (obvs lol), chocking.
author's note: my first time writing smut FUCK. please be kind, constructive criticism is welcome. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT <3 my inbox is open if you have a request or want to chat!
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a = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Dylan will take care of you always, during and after sex. He will pick you up and carry you to the shower, gently wash your hair making you feel comfortable and loved. He likes to make sure you’re okay.
b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He LOVES your hips. He loves being able to grab them and pull you towards him to feel your bodies collide. He does it everywhere, in private, when you’re talking to someone, when you’re distracted. A discreet act but sexy enough to turn you both on. As for himself, he’s been working on his arms lately and is very comfortable with the results. He knows you like them, and he likes that.
c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He loves to cum on your stomach, seeing you lying there, defeated and with your puppy eyes waiting for him makes him give himself to you with such fervor. Plus, he'll always make sure you cum before him.
d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
I dare say he's always had the fantasy of cuckolding. The idea of seeing you with another man turns him on a lot.
e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)
Experienced enough to know what he's doing, but he'll always ask you what you like and if you're comfortable with what he's doing.
f = favorite position (this goes without saying)
COWBOY. He really loves your hips, being able to hold you while watching you take control and make him cum is the best thing that can happen to him.
g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He'll make a few comments that will make you laugh so you don't lose track, but most of the time he'll focus on making you roll your eyes.
h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
As you like. He'll keep it the way you prefer it and makes it more comfortable for you.
i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Dylan won't get tired of giving you kisses on the neck, and whispering how much he loves you.
j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)
It's something he enjoys doing, whether you're there or not. It's something he does often and he loves doing it in places where he knows you'll catch him.
k = kink (one or more of their kinks)
Choking kink: He likes you to choke him, Dylan is a multi-dynamic person, be clear about that.
Daddy kink: When he's in control, he loves you calling him that, it makes him feel like he's doing a good job.
Threesomes: Not necessarily a fetish but it's definitely something he likes to experiment with you, of course, if you want.
Praise kink: He likes to flatter you, compliment your figure and tell you to say it by doing well, he likes to receive the same.
l = location (favorite places to do the do)
He is a very closed person when it comes to having sex: your bedroom, the shower or the living room.
m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Like I said before, your hips. God, he loves them so much. Also watching you wear his clothes or play his guitar.
n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turns offs)
Public sex. It’s a no, no negotiation.
o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He likes both. He loves feeling your legs getting stiffer and more stiffer around his neck, it gives him enormous satisfaction knowing that only his tongue can make you come that way. He loves tasting your juices. He also adores to see you on your knees ready to give it your all just to make him feel good, what can I say, he has a big ego.
p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He’s the sensual type, he likes to take his time with you and make you feel great, plus he doesn't want to hurt you.
q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not a big fan.
r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
As I said before, he doesn't like to take risks when it comes to outsiders that you aren't sexually involved with at the time. Sex is an intimate experience and he believes it should be treated as one.
s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
3 on a good day, most of the time 2.
t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He really enjoys using them on you, especially vibrators, he feels it adds a little extra spark to the moment. On himself, he's not into it.
u = unfair (how much they like to tease)
He doesn't like to tease you too much, enough that you're already so down before you even start.
v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He's quite a talkative person during sex, he likes to whisper dirty words in your ear during the act, he'll let out a few little moans here and there.
w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He likes to use handcuffs sometimes, it doesn't matter on which one of you, he just enjoys using them. He enjoys having you on top of him while he's being subdued by you without being able to escape. He loves you doing whatever you want with him without him being able to interrupt. When he's in the mood, he'll return the favor.
x = x-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)
He's a little bit above average, kind of 6-6.5 inches, kind of thin but really good.
y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Pretty normal, he enjoys sex with you.
z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He would rather spend some time talking to you before going to sleep, he likes to take care of you afterwards and make sure you are okay.
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#pls tell me if i have a spelling mistake#dylan minnette imagine#dylan minnette#dylan minnette fanfic#dylan minnette headcanons#dylan minnette x reader#wallows#wallows headcanons#wallows imagine#walllows x reader#13 reasons why#13 reason why imagine#clay jensen#clay jensen x reader#netflix#fanfic#alphabet headcanons#D.M#zee's writings
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bridgerton + discord profiles (x, x) ↳ ♡ for @hakurasakura
#bridgerton#bridgertonedit#useryoshi#abbie.gif#abbie.gfx#userbecca#userannalise#usersalty#userlolo#usernik#ughmerlin#userhella#userelio#tusererika#mialook#useraish#usernanda#alielook#♡#*discprofs#cba to animate different times . sorry#noooo this isn't a deeply belated bday gift for yash. why would you assume that#idea originally included edwina but cressida cowper and her sad ass lesbian eyes have bewitched me body and soul. not sorry#if you see any mistakes pls dont tell me . thank you !#and do not Mutter A Word about the fucking ages. i do not careeeee#anygays love you yash <3
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You’re together with Daryl. A couple. He noticed that Spencer’s called you such nicknames as darling and sweetheart and he began to think that he shoudl maybe try to be more…’boyfriend like’ too.
One morning. The gruff men stood out of the bed making his way to the kitchen where you stood. ..”how was yer morning?….love?”he asked trying to sound as confident as possible but his voice was a bit unsteady and unsure but the deep low sound his voice always had in the morning made you forget about it and you almost melted at his beautiful voice and your head immediately shot up from the coffee mug to him, eyes wide. Not in a bad way…never in a bad way. Your confused expression quickly changed to a big almost goofy looking smile. „Good, and yours?“
#norman reedus#the walking dead#daryl dixon#hottest man ever#norman#twd daryl#twd#normanreedus#pls someone tell me grammar or spelling mistakes I made cuz English isn’t my first language and I don’t want to talk shit
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they are good close friends. best friends, even :)
[image is six chibi drawings of duos: Bennett and Razor sitting together, Kaeya and Diluc standing with their backs to each other looking pensive, Beidou lifting Ningguang in a princess carry, Zhongli nuzzling a very flustered Xiao, Alhaitham and Kaveh holding hands, and Tighnari and Cyno dancing together.]
#i almost died finishing these chibis fr i almost DIED#genshin outfits were and continue to be a mistake#pls tell me if they are cute i went through like 16 stages of grief working on them and now idk if theyre good or not#genshin impact#razorburn#kaeluc#beiguang#zhongxiao#haikaveh#cynonari#fanart#people!
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something with quinn and petey? 🥰
i miss my boys </3
#vancouver canucks#elias pettersson#quinn hughes#hockey fanart#my art#bear reqs#sooo sleepy pls ignore all the mistakes#asked my family if they could tell who's who and they only guessed quinn right. Petey's face still mystifies me#gn petey huggy nation
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I really love Gwen's story in the end of ATSV cuz even if she and Miles never speak again she has real friends now, she's not all alone anymore. She has people who understand her the way others couldn't. And things aren't 100% perfect in her dimension but at least her father no longer thinks she's a murderer and even though everyone else will probably never change their mind about her in her world at least her father is here on her side. It's a huge improvement from how things were in the first movie and the majority of the second one. She spent the whole first movie realizing what it's like to be happy again, in the second movie she was afraid that she would lose everything because things were even worse than before, at one point she did lose everything, and after that she gained more than she thought she would.
Of course she was so negative about stuff, cuz when life is beating you down for too long you forget that good things can happen.
#I'm surprised that we don't make more analyses about her character cuz it's so good#probably because most of y'all are too busy hating her#anyway#it's always like that#when you've been sad for too long you forget what it's like to be happy and you stop trying to make yourself happy#gwen stacy#spider woman#ghost spider#spider gwen#spider man across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#into the spiderverse#beyond the spiderverse#spider man into the spider verse#spider man beyond the spider verse#Spiderverse#took me how many days to realize that i misspelled story as sorry even though i read this post again and again to see if i there are some#spelling mistakes#like how come i didn't see that i read this post so many times#also is instead of in#pls tell me in future it's like this post was hacked#so apparently it's since i posted it I'm losing my mind here how come i didn't see it????????????????
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I've been away the whole day for a lil online break, but look what I just made 🥹
they're curtain tie backs 🥹🌷
#baby's first crochet 🥺#pls be so proud of me this took AGES#the yellow one was the first and it's a bit wonky and i definitely made a mistake but!!! she's cute!!!#EB were livestreaming today so i spent the entire time making that 1st flower and laughing at the pookies 🥹💙#need 2 more and we're done! very proud of this and a very welcome break from knitting#(when i tell you my last thing took AGES. needles need to rest a bit i think)#i'll be back tomorrow 💙#crochet
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Ok so little yapping session
I just finished the "night hunter rant" shorts (that were released during season 1) and two clips struck my attention
So let's be real- HE'S DEFINITELY REFERRING TO HANNAH IN THOSE CLIPS- which (maybe?) Gave me more answer about their lore
So second clip- he's saying it's impossible to keep those you love SAFE and by your side FOREVER
So for the safe part- beau is really protective of hannah as you can see in those ss of their ep
And just before that he's saying that the nightmare king's sword was the only thing that could have saved her
Sword which later gets destroyed, and he's kinda sad about that
So yeah now to the "forever" part
At the end of the episode he's looking at the gnorf's watch
And he ends up stealing it and saying "we have plenty of time" so did he steal the watch to stay with her FOREVER??? That's the only reasonable explanation
And now let's get back to the first clip of the vid from the start
So he's saying that the ones you love are the first to let you down- so he used to be part of the night bureau- which he now really hates so- I think hes mad that when Hannah died they didn't do anything about it- or they didn't save her so "let her down"..or oz didn't help him save Hannah when she died
And then he goes on to say that the ones you love can be used against you- so did nightmare king use Hannah against him. SOMEONE USED HANNAH/HANNAH'S DEATH AGAINST HIM THAT'S FOR SURE
and also in season 1 nightmare king says that beau joined him for more power- which I half-believe
So my FINAL THEORIES AS TO WHY BEAU BECAME EVIL
-Hannah died and he went to the nnightmare king for more power to bring her back
-nightmare king used Hannah against him
-the night bureau/oz couldn't save her which made him hate them so he joined the nightmare king
-he became evil to save her but she died before he could do anything
But one thing I'm sure of is that she died in the dream world. I refuse to believe she passed cause of some sickness
ALSO in the new episodes night hunter says "I failed her, I've had to live with my mistakes" SO HER DEATH HAS TO BE RELATED TO HIM BECOMING EVIL AND NOT BEING ABLE TO SAVE HER FROM WHO KNOWS WHAT
Im not okay😃
#jrsjjfjsnxnnxj beau...hannah... my roman empire...#they are everything to me#i need to know what happened I NEED TO#ignore spelling mistakes im too lazy#ok i really need to do homework now#BUT LEGO PLS TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED#lego dreamzzz#dreamzzz#dreamzzz night hunter#dreamzzz hannah#dreamzzz beau#lullabyshipping#m00n talks
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What does ggy mean
GGY is the name of a story in one of the fnaf books; Tales from the Pizzaplex #5: The Bobidots Conclusion to be exact.
the story is about a 12 year old boy named Tony Becker who needs to write a nonfiction story for his group project in writing class. He and his friends come up with little nicknames for each other during their project, Tony taking the name Tarbell (after Ida Tarbell, a famous reporter), Ellis taking the name Boots (short for Puss in Boots cause he’s a nerd) and Gregory (yes, that Gregory) taking the name Dr. Rabbit. they head to the Mega Pizzaplex to look for ideas and just hang out. Tony finds the initials GGY on a lot of the arcade games with high scores WAY above anyone else’s. He begins to get curious and decides to dig deeper, trying to figure out if this is just a really good player or a hacker messing with the machines. During his searches of breaking into Pizzaplex security and literally his own school after hours to get more info; he finds out that GGY is a lot more than what he thinks. Apparently GGY has a modified guest pass to the Pizzaplex that acts more like a security badge, allowing them into places normal guests wouldn’t be allowed into. We also get a couple of initials of some of his guests, who turn out to be the missing guidance counselors from Tony’s school that I forgot to mention.
Once Tony finishes his story he hands it to his slacker friends so they can edit and revise and get their credit in this little story. Dr. Rabbit (Gregory) doesn’t seem to have much of a positive opinion on it, returning the next day with the story edited beyond belief. One of the edited lines reads “GGY was the Wizard’s most favored apprentice.” This may sound like I’m going batshit insane but GGY/Dr. Rabbit/Gregory are implied to be the same person and also under Glitchtrap’s control (much like Vanessa with Vanny). Towards the end, Tony’s in the library sorting books for detention because he got caught sneaking into the school and using the library computer to do his research. Greg walks in to try and “make things better” by offering Tony to come with him to the Mega Pizzaplex. It’s implied that Greg is going to lure Tony to the Pizzaplex and kill him off because of his extensive knowledge of GGY’s hacks and implied crimes.
ALSO THIS STORY IS FUCKING CANON LETS GO!!! GREGORY HAS CANONICALLY KILLED PEOPLE!!!!! YAAAAYYYYYY!!!
sorry if this makes no sense I’m very insane about this book and this whole thing I just wrote is too big for me to read over rn because I’m so tired.
#Please tell me if I made any spelling or grammar mistakes#Also GGY fans pls tell me if I forgot anything because it’s 8:30 AM and I’m still half asleep my bad#hope this helps :3#Also sorry for yapping#fnaf#ggy#gregory fnaf#dr rabbit#tony ggy#tony becker#ellis ggy#fnaf ellis#tales from the pizzaplex#oh my god I’m so tired
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𖤓˚𓅆𓇢𓆸 navigation ⋆.˚𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋⋆☾
☼𓋼𓍊 𓆏𖧧 hi I'm caitlyn! ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ -ོ 𓅰
☆ tracking: #usercaitlyns
☆ links:
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navigation
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☆ castlegc:
my most absolute beloveds who changed my life forever and mean the entire world to me (genuinely can't thank you all enough for being the best people in my life ILYILYILY !!!):
♡ @charliexspring ♡ @ellaxlopez ♡ @elliewlliams ♡ @gaygentdanvrs ♡ @jemmaasimmons ♡ @laffertys ♡ @laurenxgerman ♡ @leojfitz ♡ @mauraeyk ♡ @mazykeen ♡ @richcrdcastle ♡ @salvatoreselena ♡ @trixiedeckerstar ♡ @twelverriver ♡ @useragarfield ♡ @useryoumna ♡ @violet-bridgerton ♡ @youkilledpetunia ♡
☆ mutuals: also here
If we’re moots, ILY (even if we’ve never talked!!) p.s please don’t be scared to message me whenever, I don’t bite. We can be awkward together akdjfjjd!!! I wanna hear about the things you love or whatever you wanna scream/fan girl about or how your day’s going or literally anything you want to tell me!! I care and I want to listen !! ♡ anyways thanks so much for following me and I’m glad we somehow found each other on this hellsite! Muah!! Sending a big hug your way besties!!!
@28goldens @amalgamads-aneacc @ashleyyroses @bestofcastle @biathecreature @chippythedog @calia-lynn @charliexspring @daomaikeng @delphines @dreamersdivingheadfirst @dxnny-art @esmealux @elliewlliams @evenasyoungastheyare @greenforestworshipper @ghost-roads @haroldsmoon @huggieshalo @holyshit @horancover @harrysmaison @handgf @harrysputa @icarusinterlude @justthinkingaboutlouis @lululawrence @lebesyej @laurenxgerman @lassos-welton @leojfitz @laffertys @laurens-german @lavenderberries @larriescompass @lucy-mclean @mauraeyk @mayasbishop @morningstaraurora @mazykeen @moon-sun-thyme @niallonlyknows @pearlblue2 @pocketsized-healer @pop-punklouis @sason-judeikis @suesheroll @salvatoreselena @stedelasso @sneaky-salty-bitch @stayprettyandsmile @starrynightniall @sunshineysprinkles @sharpesjoy @softcherubhips @seeleybooth @sunmoonandrainbows @sthabit @sunsmile-lou @tomlinshires @thelarrielouie @trixiedeckerstar @toherlover @useryoumna @useragarfield @violet-bridgerton @welllbeafineline @wecantalktomorrow @wendersfive @youkilledpetunia @zourried
*if you're on this list and confused why I tagged you it's bc you follow one of my sideblogs lmao
☆ about me:
pronouns: she/her
animal & nature lover, directioner since 2011 (ot5), biologist and photographer by day - fangirl blogger at all other times, scorpio
music: love pop, rock, lofi, really just anything tbh, I'm literally always listening to music ALWAYS
shows: castle, lucifer, obx, ted lasso, young royals, virgin river, sex education, psych, adow, heartstopper, bridgerton, & sooo many more
movies: the little mermaid, anyone but you, pride & prejudice, sleeping with other people, la la land, the greatest showman, shazam, narnia, barbie & a ton more
watch list/to read list: NEVER ENDING (but listen...I am always open to suggestions...honestly please send me reccs I would absolutely love to hear what you guys have to say/what you're currently into)
drafts/queue: also never ending (the struggle is soooo real being in so many fandoms afsjjgk)
I’d love to make more friends on here, please say hi! I'd love to talk & make new friends (although I suck at replying quickly akjdfl but I def still wanna chat w you)
#navigation#intro#about me#*mine#long post#this was looonnggg overdue#listen this was need and I’ve been working on this for so long you guys!#*needed#I finally have an intro/about me post!!!#I have been working on that nav page (slowly) since the beginning of the year and I’ve been planning on doing it for like 3 yrs alskfjdj#don’t come for me hahahaha#I’ve been working so hard to organize my blogs !! hope anyone will appreciate it#but I’m loving the way it’s turining out ! I just love having things sorted and organized and easy to find/access#also pls dont be afraid to tell me if there’s a mistake/broken link or literally whatever bc honestly I’d really appreciate it!#also i finally have a tracking tag! yay#pls tag me in your amazing creationss!!!#okay that’s all for now#if you read all of this post thank you so much ily#esp if you read the tags too! omg you’re amazing if so and ilysm
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me core
#pls tell me why (aint nothing but a mistake) this painting#if theres a reason lol#id love to know!#feel free to send stuff always xx#inbox shenanigans#paintings#art stuff
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Am i the only one thinking that Daryl would maybe one time snap a bit too much due to his Childhood trauma.
He’s usually sweet and caring. Always knows what’s on your mind, so arguments weren’t normal at all. But this one time when you two had a argument he snapped. His words a bit too harsh. Your face immediately dropped, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t like that. Not at all. And as well as yours, his face dropped into guilt and shame. His words reminding him on how his Father used to be…used to treat him. He never felt that guilty in his life.
The rest of the day he spent trying to figure out how to make it up to you. He got you your favourite flowers, told you right at the moment that he was just angry and that he didn’t mean any of what he said. He spent time with you but never acted too pushy. Since he was so sweet and caring again you quickly stopped feeling mad at him but the silent insecure voice in your head that told you that he meant it never died.
#norman reedus#the walking dead#daryl dixon#hottest man ever#norman#twd daryl#normanreedus#twd#daryl dixon edit#daryl dixon fanfiction#headcanon#idk if this is good#pls tell me if there are typos or mistakes#pls Tell my insecure ass that this is good
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You know how sometimes commentary YouTubers or something have those little characters of themselves or their persona. I tried to do that but with my character. I don’t plan to do any commentary but it’s worth a try with pixel art! This is probably my 5th pixel art piece
Here’s a bigger picture!
if there are any mistakes, don’t be afraid to tell me! I’d like to learn the basics of it maybe get comfortable.
It’s very fun to try pixel art, sure it’s hard at first but then you get used to it!
here’s other pieces
I used procreate for this, I dont remember where I got the brush though, but it was called nearly perfect pixel brush :) hope that helped lol
#hope you like <3#art#my art#drawing#lol#dont steal pls#artistsoftumblr#artists on tumblr#Pixel art#trying pixel art#Pls tell me if there are mistakes!#Just trying pixel art#Digital#digital art#criticism is appreciated#criticism welcome
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