#pls someone tell me you know what im referencing

[lesbianyosano]

are you trying to shove me down?

[tangyangie]

Hello can I request a short story of karma seeing reader at the old classroom of 3-E after 7 years (and that both of them having a crush on each other during their junior high) then they went inside and talked Abt the things they did back then and their memories (pls add sum sad parts) the classroom was filled with nostalgia then when it was time for the reader to go home karma stops them and told them Abt his feelings back then (basically a confession) then it's up to you

This idea has been stuck at my head for some time now

» a loving feeling →

character: karma

description: you and karma meet at the old campus after 7 years, and you both had a crush on each other during your time there. what do you talk about?

notes: EEEEE this is such a cute request!! sorry it's probably not great bc i've got a headache but i really enjoyed making this!!

also im pretty sure this is referencing the reunion too, but if it's not pls just tell me i'll totally make another!!

also thank you to the people for requesting!! i really enjoy making them even if i take a while to do it </3

"y/n!"

you hear a voice from behind you. turning around, you smile and run towards it.

"karma!!" you jump into his arms, as he laughs and spins you around while you muffle your giggling in his shoulder.

"it's been a while." you sigh, as he playfully set you down. he smiles at you. "yes, it has."

"come on, now. let's go see everyone else!" you exclaimed.

he sighs and shakes his head. "alright, alright."

you grab his hand and drag him along into the small building. there's a small party going on in one of the rooms, with food and drinks.

you see many of your old friends. some look a little different than before, such as nagisa, who finally cut his hair.

"guys!! hi!" you say, smiling as you stride into the room.

"hey, y/n! how's it going?" kataoka says.

you run over to your friends to catch up on everything that's happened for the past 7 years, as well as jesting them about their love lives.

"speaking of which, y/n, what about you?? did you finally find someone?" rio teases.

karma hears this, and instinctively listens closer.

you sigh theatrically, and place your hand upon your forehead while slightly leaning back.

"alas, i have not. i've been quite busy these past 7 years. i did so happen to ace my job interview, though!" you add in, slowly beginning to brag about the money you were getting.

rio chuckles. "well, at least we know you'll be fine even if you end up alone for the rest of your life!"

"hey!!" you laughed, gaping at her while dramatically holding your hand over your heart. "that hurts!" you frown.

"i doubt that." she teases, as you roll your eyes playfully and go get some refreshments.

rio walked over to karma, who had been listening intently the whole time. "you're not slick, karma. they totally saw you."

"hush, they did not!" he smirks.

"did too."

"did no—" rio interrupted him, shaking a finger in his face.

"anyways-- you should confess to them." she smiles.

"are you kidding? any feelings they might have had are definitely gone." he sighs.

"i don't think so," rio starts. "i think they're still into you."

karma grumbles something under his breath, looking away, and rio sighs playfully. "just give it some thought. if you decide you need help, i'll totally be your wingwoman!" she winks.

he just chuckles, and said, "sure, then. let's give them a shot."

»»»

about an hour had passed, and you decided you wanted to walk around the old campus. 7 years is a while, you wanted to see if anything had changed.

obviously, you invited karma to join you.

"come on, it'll be fun!"

he laughed and replied, "maybe i can throw myself off the cliff again!"

"karma!!" you shriek, doubling over in laughter. "that's not funny!"

"you're showing it very well." he says, giving you a thumbs up.

you grab his hand as you run around and observe all around the campus. it seems that most of the scenery has stayed the same.

you both recall funny memories, your old study areas, the place where you held your trainings, and more.

but of course, the most abundant being in your memories was korosensei.

"i still think about him, a lot." you say, brushing your hand against the ground as you sat down.

"..so do i." karma sighed, lowering down next to you. you both talk about him and remember all the memories. even though he was dead, he continued to have a happy place in your memories.

karma wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you continued to reminisce.

"he's the reason i was able to get this far in the first place. i owe him everything." you smile.

you both basked in the silence as you were overwhelmed by the nostalgia.

"hey, y/n, there's something i—"

"guys, come here! we've got cake!!" nagisa shouted from the campus.

"ooh, cake!!" you exclaimed, easily pulled away from the silence.

karma laughed and helped you up. you both walked back to the classroom, hand in hand.

after you had both gotten your cake slices, you went to go converse some more.

"so, how'd it go, loverboy?" rio smiles.

"didn't happen." he sighed.

"what?!" rio gawked at him. "after all my help??"

karma laughed. "what help??" he whispered. "you gave me a cookie and then kicked me in the deep end."

"i thought you already knew how to swim." she shrugged.

"can i have a snorkel?" he joked.

»»»

after a few more hours and activities, everyone had decided it was time to leave. you wanted to help clean up, so you decided to stay back and send everyone off.

little did you know, that karma had also decided to hang around.

"need some help?" he teased, seeing you struggle to get every single plate at once.

"would be nice," you smiled. he easily took the stack and carried them to the trash bin while you got a few paper towels to clean the tables. karma helped everywhere else.

after the cleaning, you swore the classroom looked cleaner than when you came.

"nice job, karma!! it looks great in here." you say proudly, with your hands on your hips. "we.. should probably get going now. i know you're pretty busy."

"sure, let's go." he smiles, scooping you up as you giggle.

he carries you to the front, while you groan, and tell him you forgot your things. he sets you down, and you run back inside as he leans against a tree while waiting for you.

his thoughts were running through his head. could they have noticed how nervous i've been today?? i've barely made any jokes at all.

i definitely need to tell them. right now.

you arrive again, ready to leave the school. "alright, karma. see you around!" you smile and begin to walk off.

although a little apprehensive, he stops you.

"wait, y/n." he says, with a smile on his face. "there was something i wanted to tell you earlier." he says.

"yeah, what's up?" you smirked.

slightly stuttering and breaking his usually chill persona, he started to speak.

"i.. i don't know if anyone told you this, but, i used to have a big crush on you. like, huge." he started.

you faced him, and crossed your arms and smiled. "really? i never noticed. tell me more." you teased him lightly.

he put his hands in his pockets. "so... you knew?" he said, feeling a little defeated.

"please, you were a junior high student. as slick as you thought you were, you were a little dumb." you joke.

"that's not very nice," he rolls his eyes dramatically. you laugh and take a few steps closer to him.

gently taking hold of his hands, you look into his eyes. "i knew the whole time. but, there's something i don't know now."

"if that happens to be a certain question, i think you might be in luck." he says.

"it seems you already know." you whisper, leaning a little closer.

"yes, y/n. i still very much like you." he sighs.

you tried to hide your excitement, but karma couldn't help but notice the sparkle in your eyes.

"then... would you mind if i--" you begin to say, but karma interrupted you.

karma gently brings you in and gives you a kiss.

you sigh softly into the kiss, relieved that he reciprocated your feelings. that have indeed been actively increasing over the years.

you slowly pull away. "maybe we'll be seeing each other more often than we think." you whisper.

"i'd like that a lot, i think." karma whispers back.

you walk back with him, hand in hand, with your minds more at peace than they've ever been in the past 7 years.

notes: ahh this is so cute i love it </3 i live for these kinds of confessions they're so heartwarming!!

anyways i'm really sorry it took so long!! i was really busy this week and had a lot of stuff i needed to do for school!!

[literaphobe]

Sorry to interrupt your convo with ur friend (and being late too lol) about the break up songs for tvl...

But tbh Ive been thinking about it since ch4/5? Idk. But I think tvl adrichat would Def listen to mitski hehe AND to be specific 'I bet on losing dogs' LITERALLY (if I'm not wrong about the meaning, if I am forgive me lol) describes Chat's pov and thoughts/feelings about his situation with tvl lb and its SO real. Like as in the song talks about holding onto a hopeless relationship (it's not hopeless he just thinks that it is and they're also just idiots lmao) KNOWING that what they want isn't going to happen YET he's taking the risk of it, even though he knows he's losing and its so emotional to me...

AND he'd probably listen to her after their "break up" hahaha (I mean I don't blame him tbh...) pls tell me someone also feels the same thing😭Ughhhhhhhh I love this and this amazing fic

You know it's a GREAT, AMAZING story when you start to associate songs with it... (THANK YOU, you beautiful mastermind for BLESSING us with this story <3)

SORRY FOR TAKINF SO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS BUT NONE OF U R EVER INTERRUPTING ANYTHINF AND R WELCOME TO JOIN IN ANYTHING IM DOING ON THIS BLOG VIA ASK WHENEVER

anyway YES I so agree and yes tvl WOULD listen to mitski and be fucked up by I bet on losing dogs anyway here’s an I bet on losing dogs chat noir edit I just saw on TikTok

ALSO I think ‘once more to see you’ is SO SO SO tvl chat noir core LOOK AT THE MATERIAL

BUT WITH EVERYBODY WATCHING US… (citizens of paris) OUR EVERY MOVE… WE DO HAVE REPUTATIONS… (famous superheroes) WE KEEP IT SECRET….

COME INSIDE (the secret base) AND BE WITH ME… ALONE WITH ME ALONE,, WITH ME ALONE… IF YOU WOULD LET ME GIVE YOU PINKY PROMISE KISSES…….. THEN I WOULDNT HAVE TO SCREAM YOUR NAME!! ATOP OF EVERY ROOF! IN THE CITY OF MY HEART… IF I COULD SEE YOU… ONCE MORE TO SEE YOU…

I also quite literally referenced another mitski song in tvl ch10 look:

[bluewinnerangel]

right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.

[quodekash]

the eclipse os2 episode commentary continued (bc i ran out of images in the first part)

goLFING???? OF ALL THE SPORTS. YOU CHOSE GOLF??????

its so boring

and yeah, theres not as much exercise in golf as there is in other sports like footy and cricket and stuff

OR SO YOU THOUGHT

you have to move back and forth and all around to collect the golf balls

idk much about golf tho

im not sure if ive ever played actual golf

i dont think id like it tho

the only golf i like is the director of the eclipse

and golf on the wii, thats fun

i got sidetracked talking about golf

shARING ROOMS BASED ON THE TEAMS??? damn wat, you're brutal

hes probably just trying to keep his mind as clear as possible, which wont happen if the couples sleep in the same rooms as each other lmao

"to be honest, im worried about thua" well what on earth does that mean

are you just referencing all the times you were worried about thua when he was hanging out with aye

ARE YOU SPECIFICALLY REFERENCING THE TIME THUA WAS AT YOUR HOUSE STUDYING, AND YOU SAID "youre always spending time with aye, im jealous" (or something along those lines) AND THEN COVERED IT UP SAYING YOURE JUST WORRIED ABOUT HIM??

ARE YOU SUBTLY TRYING TO SAY YOURE JEALOUS OF AYE COS YOU CANT SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOUR BOYFRIEND??

cos if so

i. i picked up on that. and that feels important for everyone to know. and now you know.

"aye. dont touch thua" lmao calm down bro

(read this to the tune of the sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g song from when we were like 12) WAT AND NAMO, SHARING A ROOM. F-U-C---

"so what did you and aye argue about?" "...we didnt" bro dont lie

in all honesty, aye gives great advice. like, he always seems to know the right thing to say to help someone make a decision and stuff

oh no

communication issues

why must there be communication issues

pls guys just talk to each other

akk, all you gotta do is tell aye how youre feeling

thua, all you gotta do is tell kan what you would like and need

aye and kan, listen

its really simple, guys, its really not hard at all in the slightest

jeez thats a standoff and a half (note: wat is leaning on namo's shoulder. just something for everyone to observe.)

bro why do you have to be shirtless

thank you namo for saying what we're all thinking

aight theyre all playing in the water now, and playing in the water tends to make akk and aye feel better and stuff

THEY ALL LOOK LIKE THEYRE HAVING SO MUCH FUN

NO IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

BUT ENTIRELY BC I LOVE THIS GROUP SO MUCH

THE HAPPINESS IS STRONG

noooooo namo dont have an existential crisis about graduating and growing up and saying goodbyes and potentially never seeing your friends again, you'll set me off into one of my own

"will you forget me?" "we will." lmao rip namo i guess

damn that phone is loud, how can they hear it over the river. its almost like... like it was edited in in post or something. hmmmmmmmmm

of coURSE AKK'S BIRTHDAY ISNT BROUGHT UP TIL AYE LEAVES THE AREA

its fine tho bc aye knows its akk's birthday. right? he knows, right? im sure he knows. hes gonna surprise akk. r i g h t ? ? ?

i like these funky little friendship bonding sessions, its very nice

sponsorship timeeeee

THEY USE THE SAME PRODUCTS- SOBBING AGAIN

i know they probably bought them at the same time from the same store or something but thats not the point its still super cute

COMMUNICATION ISSUES WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

JUST SAY WHAT YOURE THINKING

YOUVE BOTH LITERALLY SAID TO EACH OTHER 'youre allowed to be weak. at least around me.'

SO BE FREAKING WEAK, TELL HIM EVERYTHING ON YOUR MIND SO THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER BETTER AND MAKE UP AND BADABING BADABOOM HAPPINESS

SONG??

SONG

SONGGGG

is song the way that they communicate

i knew this would happen. i literally know this would happen.

just cos theyre assigned different rooms to their partners, it doesnt mean theyre gonna actually abide by those rules. theyre just gonna switch. badabing badaboom everyone is gay

"can you stop asking already?" "why?" "if you dont stop talking, how can i kiss you?" brooooooo

IT'S LIKE EPISODE 7, BUT BETTER, BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY SUCCEED THIS TIME

GOOD JOB, GAYS GUYS, YOU DID IT. IM PROUD OF YOU. COS MAN EPISODE 7 WAS FRUSTRATING

but its all good now

THEY BOTH PLAY GUITAR

HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS

OHHH AKK IS LEARNING GUITAR

GRJHBGDK

okay theyre talking to each other, finally

its gonna end in another argument probably but at least akk is getting towards telling aye how hes making him feel rn and theyre communicating and working it out

aye, ily, and i know youre tryna make him feel better, but this isn't solving the problem

yeah hes cute when hes angry, but he doesnt like being angry with you because (as he has just tried to tell you) it makes him feel like youre aggravating him on purpose for no reason and makes him question your relationship.

akk, youre also at fault here because you didnt talk to him sooner about your thoughts and feelings

but right now in the current moment aye is being a little bit mean and a little bit silly (but not silly in the fun way)

theyre making out now tho. but they still havent made up.

its fine, theyll get to that tomorrow.

well, technically tonight. it's 2am.

speaking of that tho, IVE FINISHED THE EPISODE, FINALLY

talk about time blindness, it takes me three times the amount of time that the episode actually takes to watch it

final thoughts: i am excited for tomorrow (tonight??), this episode was very very very good, the eclipse makes me happy, happy is good, i need to go to sleep

goodnight folks! this will be even more incoherent next episode because ill be even more exhausted than i am now! byebyeeeeee

[johnmalevolent]

malevolent liveblog (you dont know how refreshing it is to be able to type that)

you cant remember :(

i have a feeling that peace womt last for long

where is john

help

where is john

KELLIN?????????

WHAT

he talks to him like he wld john

is this the nightmare

???

TOWER????????????????

WHAT

WHAT??

THE SILLY BGM?

SAMANTHA

wait was it always his sister's head

?

JOHN

"when i was the only one" ...

this IS a dream

OH THE OFF TUNE PIANO

JOHN :( pls come this is

JOHNN

FINALLY

YOU DONT REMEMBER???

yes

this isssssssssss im trying to remember

mausoleum. the island with the old woman?

OH THE SHUB NIGGURATH CARVING

daniel?

fire?

JOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

another nightmare :(

A SHRIEK

SHRIEKS

or were those bird sounds

ngeden 😭

ooh small private eyes reference

hello mr scratch

JOHN

i can make up words!!

wsym leave him out of this...

marie isnt his first... what

first what. landlord?

maybe we'll see the building maintenance man

god ive forgotten names

consuming multiple media would do that to you

WHAT WAS THAT

them fighting in 18??

wait no

that muffled noise of arthur punching 4 times and someone (thought that was john) calling his name

that immediately happen after

elu itu punya trust issue

ARTHUR *DOES* SUSPECT SMT AB KAYNE

if this was a dream he at least almost fully controls

oh he's scared ab last night :(

oh his name was eddie

the building maintenance man

OH SHIT

the voice change

oh. theyre still in the widow's house

what

to arthur

not anna?

yeah :(

he wasnt there when faroe....

huh

:0

:(

the wraith?

and the baby

SHES HUMMING FAROE'S SONG

oh okay so the dream is manipulated

okay

yippie

he does

he has the one dream too many times he's so sure...

licking the air.. thatsounds familiar

?

oh no

oh noooo

"after you had taken the only thing that ever loved me" i know what this is referencing and i dont like it

as he left him...

kellin's on the dock..

i thought he drowned?

he's doing so great not seeing things in black and white <3

D:

LIKE HIS OARENTS DID

GOD

OH GOD

inochi ni kirawareteiru is an arthur song

wait

what

ARTHUR :((((((((((

huh

feed it what

is he speakin gibberish or do i not understand english anymore

okay its the latter

idk why that was so hard to understand

larson...

leerie..

UNDEFEATED

hes gold

D:

friend

pls dont say that..

pls don't remind me that john wont be okay

another robert frost poem!

FAROE

where was him..

tavern?

what

this is painful for arthur but i want to know more

ohhhh faroe isnt

ggghhhhhhhhggggggghhhgg ok

ghk. aro arthur moment

putting it as fear is. ugh

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh ghk

the opposite of the right person in the right time

faroe D:

ANOTHER STAB WOUND????!???????????

feeding off him literally...

LET HIM OUT?????????

shit arthur youre letting the dream tell you to stab him??????????????????????

John

Jojn

JOHM

JOHN

WHO DID HE STAB

WHAt

WHO DID HE UNTIE

shoot

damn

[eldritchmochi]

[image id: tags by @apocketfullofhobbits that read: ngl 'how do you spend your time' feels as intrusive to me as 'what do you do for a living', and it doesn't translate well to my language, idk i just hate being perceived at all and i hate putting others on the spot too, if someone doesn't volunteer information themselves then i guess I'll just never know. and I'm okay with that /end id]

i think this may be related to the point of the article (and the book referenced)! where the article and book discuss (english based, US-centered) race and therefore class power dynamics in the way small talk operates, i feel its not too much of a stretch to apply the same general theory to other forms of culture clash, whether that be across languages and therefore non-usian (white, cishet, christian, middle class) standards or like neurospiceyness or even things like age, queerness, or manner of upbringing

(pls note i know nothing, i just like trying to connect dots based off info i have magpied)

the thing that comes first to mind is the thing disney parks do where they train all their staff to gesture a specific way instead of pointing with their index finger, as is common in the us, because in other parts of the world that is a rude gesture. there are tons and tons of things like that, stuff thats completely benign in one culture that comes across fine in a different culture but incredibly foul in another, and half the time theres no telling what faux pas youll make in a multi cultural environment until you fuck up, as the article writer expresses

im autistic. i don't do small talk. i understand the point of it and have several fairly good scripts for when i have my Customer Service Voice in place, but i flounder when faced with "normal conversation" to the point where i assembled notes on reasonable human conversation topics ahead of meeting my (very normal, reasonable) boyfriends family. i dont do small talk because it feels very stiff from me, and i am *very bad* at following the conventionally appropriate scripts expected from small talk (ie the "how are you?" "good" exchange; im disabled. i walk with a cane. i come equipped with a bag full of pills at all times. i clearly cannot say that im "good" because that feels like a lie but people somehow hate "tired"???)

because im autistic, in situations where i dont have to Perform Peoplehood as the other party expects, i can sit and lecture about all sorts of things basically endlessly. however, because i had an absolutely shit upbringing and a lot of very bad health issues, i tend to be very selective about personal anecdotes because i hate even the potential of being pitied. in turn, like in pocket's tags, i tend to operate under the idea that people will tell me what they are comfortable sharing, and if they dont volunteer it, its none of my business, because thats how i operate myself

this is definitely true, but there are two catches: one) it is not universally true, and two) when it is true, you still have to make space for the other party to share stuff

there are definitely people who are bothered by conversations that lack "small talk" or otherwise people asking them personal questions. this is especially true in the us i would wager, given the sheer level of cultural individualism that goes on, wherein generally folks operate under the conditions that its rude to relate to someone via sharing a same-but-different personal anecdote, but also the-general-we dont know how to have a conversation that doesnt hinge on the self. if you dont ask these people the direct personal questions they require to feel involved in conversation, those relationships will hmm, struggle (i have not figured out how to manage this tho)

conversely, for folks who are more private, those relationships can feel superficial if theres not space and care left for them to open up. my bf and my gf are both very private and dont really offer up personal information unless ur really really close. being the Science Minded and also very direct person i am, when i realized my crush on my boy, i established very explicitly that he could say no to anything i asked of him and accepted his "no"s immediately when they came up. i did this very deliberately because i am very direct and "nosey", and wanted him to be comfortable telling me to mind my business if i poked where he didnt want

and it worked. the questions i tend to ask to learn about who someone is are pretty out there compared to standard small talk, so i wager they fall under the idea of "signifying" -- things like asking the best gift theyve gotten and best theyve given tell me what they value for themselves, and how they understand and relate to the people in their lives -- but while theyre direct and quite deep, theyre pretty open ended so the person i ask can give whatever kind of answer in whatever detail they're comfy with, and i still get good return as far as understanding who they are as a person, aaaaand in at least a couple instances, that space of positive acceptance of setting boundaries combined with a clear interest in Knowing Someone has lead private people to offer up things of their lives without prompting

so, it boils down to an awareness of different communication styles across cultural lines especially, whatever those cultures' lines ARE, and a willingness to meet people in the middle to make space for them to share their life and interests in a way that is more equitable than standard small talk tends to be, with whatever sort of open ended question makes sense for your situation

Unlearning How White People Ask Personal Questions

http://www.samefacts.com/2014/05/culture-and-civil-society/unlearning-how-white-people-ask-personal-questions/

[rudolphsboyfriend]

I once heard some say "to all the straight people who put pronouns in their bio, thanks for being that way" and I couldn't tell if they were sarcastic or not. Is it bad for straight people to put pronouns in their bio? How else are you supposed to know they don't use "they" pronouns? I mean I suppose you could say by default you would assume their pronouns to be cis but anyways I wanted your opinion.

Hey! I'm assuming u meant to say cisgender and not straight?? If I'm wrong pls tell me but yeah. I'm pretty sure they were being genuine, it sounds pretty genuine, and i can't think of why anyone would have a problem w that?

Before i go on just keep in mind i am also cis so this is a cis person speaking, I'd love to hear the viewpoint of non cis people on this, and i think their inputs would hold more weight than mine. So dear trans and non binary and all other people who r not cis please do share your opinions.

Ok so. Of course, noone is obligated to share their pronouns in their bio if they don't wanna. That being said, here r some reasons why i think cis ppl specifying their pronouns is helpful.

Firstly, it's always good to normalise specifying your pronouns. For example, if someone's trying out new pronouns or is trans but doesn't wanna say that explicitly, putting he/him (for example) would be a lot less stressful if cis guys did that too. If no cis people do that, then putting your pronouns in your bio is kinda just saying "hey look at me I'm not cis" and some ppl aren't comfortable w that.

It's kinda similar to when ppl in lgbt relationships use the word "partner" instead of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". If more straight ppl say "partner" then it becomes normalised and less like an ID of being lgbt which is often what they're trying to avoid by using that term at all.

Secondly, it helps counter the belief that being cis is the default or that you can tell a person's gender and pronouns just by looking at them. Cisnormativity is smn that we have to unlearn. Your gender n pronouns and how you choose to present urself is up to you. Cis ppl shouldn't simply think "oh I'm obviously cis if I don't specify otherwise" cuz that's a rlly harmful thought process.

It's like heteronormativity. Again, noone is obligated to share their sexuality, but thinking that being heterosexual is the "normal" or the "default" is harmful. This can be countered by straight people specifying that theyre straight instead of just assuming that everyone will know. A straight person going "I'm straight" is a good thing, so a cis person going "im cis and i use the pronouns assigned to me at birth" is a good thing you know what i mean?

Yeah these r the two main points i could think of. If someone doesn't specify their pronouns then i usually just go with "they" until they tell me, if they ever choose to do so. I hope this made sense!!

Again, I'm cis and i only answered this bcuz it referenced cis people, but I'd like the voices of trans n non binary ppl on this!!

[bunnyinthestars]

Adrien is definitely gonna take Emilie’s place in a coma (A Theory)

Yeah so I mean the title of this is exactly what I’m pretty sure is gonna happen. This is because there has been a huge load of foreshadowing and some other subtler reasons I will be going over in this post. Of course, there’s always a chance it won’t happen, but if it didn’t I think I’d be pretty surprised considering just the amount of evidence thats going into this.

(Also sorry ahead of time for the structure of this, I tried to structure this based on my specific reasons for this theory but I kind of went off on tangents in some places and in others I use ideas that I assume come with the theory and don’t necessarily fit into any specific reason (like Emilie coming back to life and what would happen there, why Adrien and not Nathalie, and loosely how theyd get Adrien out of the coma), although I mosty stick to the structure I still want to add this disclaimer just so you’re aware that I wrote this in one go at midnight (also wait right now its 12:10am it is now ten minutes into my birthday??? ok ignoring that))

I dont know man. Just consider what I have to say. Or dont. I will be listing my reasons starting now.

1. Imagery of Adrien being in comatose state/ in a coffin-like thing.

This is surprisingly common??? Off the top of my head I can think of Style Queen and Riposte (I believe) which involve this. In Style Queen, Audrey in the form of her akumatized self had essentially kidnapped Adrien and put him in this gold/glass coffin thing that disintegrated the longer it remained untouched. The other one is Riposte, where Ladybug hides Adrien in that big sarcophogus in the Louvre (he didn’t stay in it but still the imagery is there.)

I also just remembered in Chameleon when Lila took Adrien’s form he was asleep/in a comatose state in that locker and Plagg was like “aw man am I gonna have to kiss him.....” but then Adrien wakes up because Lila stole someone else’s form

EDIT: another instance of Adrien/Chat Noir being shoved into a sarcophagus (besides Riposte) is in Pharaoh in season 1

So yes there is definitely a good number of foreshadowing for this. I might take this further and say if Adrien were to go comatose and be in the coffin Emilie was in then Felix might replace him for some amount of time?? Like impersonate him amd stuff?? Just because there’s lots of stuff in the show with impersonation I feel like it could work aNYWAY BACK TO THE EVIDENCE I KNOW ITS A TANGENT

2. Possible evidence foreshadowing Emilie *inadvertantly* killing (not killing but making comatose you get it) Adrien

This one is not as strong as the first but its worth considering. I was googling the word “mayura” just out of curiosity a while back and basically its a peacock in Hindu stories (like peacocks are a kinda revered animal) and I just initially found a couple websites that said that the mayura has been depicted eating a snake as a symbol of the cycle of time (you dont have to read this part in parenthesis, its just kind of a tangent: the cycle of time as known in Hinduism is another aspect of Hinduism directly referenced in the show: the horse/space miraculous kwami Kaalki’s name is a reference to the prophecied tenth avatar/reincarnation of the god Vishnu, and he is referenced in the Kalachakra tantra which is basically a Hindu book about the cycle of time. Keep in mind I got all this from wikipedia and other internet websites, I do not practice Hinduism and I dont directly know anybody who does, so if any of this is wrong pls lmk because there is surprisingly not a lot of information on the internet about it from what I could tell)

So anyways yes peacock (mayura) eating snake representing the cycle of time. Both Luka and Adrien are represented in the show as the snake, but ultimately I think the snake here represents Adrien just because it makes more sense (Snake Noir, future Alix’s tattoo depicts a snake to be Adrien and is meant to represent Adrinette, Adrien just has some shifty stuff going on with the snake in general etc) and thus, if Gabriel manages to actually get the ladybug and black cat miraculouses and make the wish to bring Emilie to life, then this “mayura” analogy (assuming Emilie as the mayura in this scenario) would make sense if her life brought upon Adrien losing his.

The reason I dont think it would refer to Nathalie even though her official name is Mayura is for pretty much two sub-reasons. The first is that I think she is going to die before this wish happens. I know, its a kids show, whatever, but consider it. The Agreste/Graham de Vanily family has a trend of having opposite names [I am so sorry I literally first heard this from a tumblr user but I cannot remember who I just remember they had made a string of theories on why Emilie Agreste will not be who she seems to be so credit to them I did not discover that] for example the name Gabriel means hero/angel, Felix means happy/fortunate, Adrien means dark, etc, and Nathalie Sancoeur means “birthday (of Christ)” and “heartless” respectively. We already know she is not heartless but rather full of heart because she has fallen in love with Gabriel. So then,,,,,,,,,, the opposite of birth is death. She’s already shown to be pretty sick too despite the peacock miraculous having been “fixed” (as of the New York special being the most recent piece of content). I’m sorry guys I do not make the rules

stop why his face look like that though

The second part of why I think this is a little stupid but. The original art released by Jeremy Zag for Mayura does not look like Nathalie. Plus this art was only released under the name of “the Peacock” (originally Le Paon in French) so it might not actually be the Mayura we know as of now. Now, theoretically, it could be that they had made this art before they knew they wanted Nathalie to be Mayura or just as art depicting what Emilie would have been like as the peacock miraculous holder, and it could literally just be Nathalie. When you compare the images, though, the original Mayura art looks far more like Emilie and a lot less like Nathalie. Yes I am aware this is stupid just know this is only a minor point

I dont know man those faces do not look the same to me and the original Mayura definitely had Emilie’s eye shape and face shape in mind. They might’ve changed it after making the concept art but my point still stands

Ok next reasoning

Again not a very strong point but sometimes dialogue just implies things in Miraculous and I can think of a very specific quote that would fit this happening, and there are probably more that I just dont know to look for since I dont have this whole show memorized

So the quote is from Startrain after Gabriel loses control of the akuma then learns about the Startrain having been akumatized with Adrien on board, and he says “hoping that my enemies will save my son..... how ironic.” When I first heard this quote I really, really felt like it was foreshadowing something just based on his tone and the way this new idea was being introduced of him having to be on the same side as Ladynug and Chat Noir for once, even if it was just temporary. This quote absolutely is indicative to me of a future event in which he’ll have to work with his “enemies” to save his son. A situation in which Adrien is in comatose would perfectly align with this. At least for how I would predict the show would make it, Gabriel would have to turn away from Emilie (who represents the past for him, and this action would therefore represent moving on) and join forces with Ladybug/Marinette, his “enemy”, to save Adrien.

Onto the last reason!

Emilie is probably definitely coming back. Which means someone’s going into a coma in her place.

I mean come on it would be so anticlimactic if they just caught Gabe before he fulfilled his wish. Plus with the way they are outlining Emilie to be this perfect golden being is definitely because its going to far contrast with how she will actually turn out. This doesnt really support the Adrien thing in particular but honestly it would also be anticlimactic of the coma was for anyone else. If it was Nathalie, then yeah itd suck for Adrien I guess but like???? Doesn’t really connect the plots as much. Whereas if its Adrien, that brings Marinette into it, that gives her a powerful as heck conflict. Im guessing they would also somehow resolve his coma with “the power of love” mentioned in the theme song, just because of the foreshadowing with like waking someone up with a true love’s kiss (think Plagg in Chameleon, I guess the rose in Style Queen, maybe Alya’s story to Manom in Stormy Weather if we’re strecthing it....)

TL;DR: Adrien is probably gonna go comatose (like Emilie did) at some point because its been pretty foreshadowed (think Style Queen, Riposte, and even Chameleon), because of the legend surrounding the Hindu “mayura” peacock eating a snake representing time (wow that was not a sentence ok then), because Gabriel has previously foreshadowed having to work with his enemies to save his son, and also just because it would be super awesome and allow each character involved to have a pretty fulfilling conflict and arc.

(all images from the miraculous ladybug wiki excluding the piece of art depicting the mayura which is from murugan.org)

I hope however took the time to read this post enjoyed this theory, sometimes I have really random yet detailed theories regarding this show and I wanted to share this one because if I’m right then this will be proof I had predicted it, also you guys could possibly elaborate on it. I’m all for friendly discussions folks fr

If this doesn’t end up happening the theory is still awesome and they should have done it, and if it does my ego will probably expand and hopefully they will make it as awesome as it seems like it would be. Sorry if the structure of this post is not great, but thank you for reading. I appreciate you, have a wonderful week :)

[tyonfs]

seriously fuck this app for not letting me reblog in peace 🤬 god knows how many times i tried i lost everything i typed 🧍anyways sending this here instead ^^

i may have alr forgotten a huge chunk of what i wanted to say but this i haven’t— i love loooove love their friend group so much. esp how loving and caring and protective renjun is over mc!! :( also, mc and jaemin’s dynamic? whew loved that sm. how they could just naturally transition to lovers (horny ones at that — but that’s more jaemin rlly that bastard) and their closeness as friends is still there yk what i mean ;-;; tho i found all the chaos so much fun hhhh. yeonjun just mentioning he’s interested in her but haven’t rlly acted much (or at all even lmao) on it since yet suddenly became the source of chaotic misunderstandings(?) NSHSHSHS

THE SEXY SCENES 🧍 despite how annoyingly horny jm can be love how he unknowingly(?) just put her needs first without expecting her to reciprocate it right away (hope i remembered this correctly i know he like,,, realized it a bit late after that, god i hate my mind) of course he cares about her more than he realized this idiot. there’s the awkwardness but damn oh damn the intimacy it’s all so fucking hot but u could feel there’s alr more to it than just lust :( love these stupid babies.

and oh my god when he was streaming!!!!! but the way i pictured it like the times he’s on their huya lives?? ykno when he just runs his mouth nonstop while playing GODDDDD very annoying yet endearing yes jaemin annoys me so much but i l word ok ok ok

they’re so stupid but understandable everyone is vvv likeable here btw :( will never stop thinking about how they just have such great chemistry. as much as yeonjun was slandered here haha let’s not forget how when it’s bad experiences it’s compared to hyucksNSHSHSHSHSHS i enjoyed reading this a lot it’s so much thank you :(( one of the great ways to start this year. (…..being whipped for njm ig)

love his character development here btw hands down. i cannot move on about his fucking twitch tshirt tho NDHDHDH m gonna throw that away myself if i could. ALSO oh my god i just remembered it’s so funny how someone always walked in on them HAHA the confession — as cringey and awkward(??) as it was, that’s just so them yk and to top it all off jaemin forgetting to end his stream 💀💀💀 ok again. this is so enjoyable to read thank you so much i hope you have a great day and a great year ahead u deserve the best ;;;;

tumblr’s bugs strike again 😞😞 i’m so sorry it crashed on your reblog love D; but ??? omg you rlly typed it out again for the ask THATS SO NICE OF YOU :(( and pls this is such a long ask i’m like sobbing over the fact that you took the time to write all of this and you have so many thoughts about my fic ☹️💗 i had to bring out my notes app to make sure i typed out everything i was feeling while referencing back to this ask !!!!! 😳 thank you sm for reading and sending this like !!! IM SO HAPPY 😭😭

i’m so glad you liked the friend group together !! i’ve always wanted to write a fic where the friend group was well fleshed out and had important roles (and this actually wasn’t the fic i was going to try it out on) but it served as a good stepping stone and your words make me feel more hyped to improve :’)) although they didn’t have many scenes together, i loved them too 🥰🥰 i get emotionally attached to my own characters sobsob and YES RENJUN !!!! he’s my ult too :’) actually i ult half of dream so i cant defend myself but !! he made their arrangement soooo romeo and juliet for a little 😭 and i love writing protective (but sorta chill??) best friends ♡ AAAA PLS IT WARMS MY HEART TO HEAR THAT YOU LIKED MC AND JAEMINS DYNAMIC that’s like everything for me 🤧💘 i rlly wanted to preserve their friendship even while they were treading the line between fwb to lovers, but there were those little moments like jaemin calling mc creepy for staring at him and mc telling him to shut up when he made a dirty joke :’))

HAHAHAH poor yeonjun 😭 the whole situation is a fictional representation of friends exaggerating a memory of a guy saying he’s interested in you, and then proceeding to hype it up without realizing they’ve looked to deeply into it 😵‍💫 but man yeonjun’s officially branded as The Infamous Litterer™️ in jaemin’s eyes

AHHH IM GLAD YOU LIKED THOSE MOMENTS :’)) <33 yesyesyes!! mc didn’t exactly realize she had feelings at first but i like to think ab it like “she fell first, he fell harder” bc jaemin completely lost his confidence when he realized he liked her a lot and didn’t want to push her too far. he didn’t go all the way with her bc he realized right before but yes he didn’t expect her to reciprocate what she wasn’t ready for :’) little did he know that mc is like the biggest virgin but extra horny 😭

PLEASE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT hes so cute when he games i’m sobbing but yes that mouth RUNS i lov when he talks fast HAHAH like in the mafia games he spits bars to his advantage to make everyone else give up trying to understand 😭😭 also i’m so glad you liked all the characters :’)) my goal was to make them all have their charms even with little screentime(??) LOLL and 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ hyuck having girl trouble And the awkward first-time story 😞 free him from the slander i bestowed upon him

GLAD I COULD START UR YEAR OFF WITH SELF INDULGENT NA JAEMIN CONTENT THO 😎😎 it’s what the nanadoongies deserve 🧘‍♀️ AND AHAHA YES they were always walked in 😭💔 first by renjun, then by jaemin’s twitch stream audience, and then by mark (but at least they were mostly safe for mc’s first-time !! until jeno walked in during the aftermath 💀)

but thank you sm for leaving me such a sweet and heartfelt message angel !! i’m so touched that you put in all this effort to type this out for me 😭😭💖 i hope you have a wonderful day/night and a great 2022 ahead !! ♡ sending my love and support your way :]

[hufflautia]

Hmmm I mean I would love for Sly and Puff to be open about how they feel for one another so they go from being friends to more than friends but if you feel that isn’t the best way to go then I don’t really mind how it ends... I’m content just being able to read something that I requested 💛💛💛💛💛

PROMPT: Slytherin and Hufflepuff (different from slytherpuff series) go on a platonic date. They’re only friends, but they each wish that they were something more. This is only a friend-like kind of date, but things might change so LET’S FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS! 

Hufflepuff turns towards the noise behind them and a smile blooms on their face when their eyes land on Slytherin, who’s looking as fantastic as ever. 

“You made it,” Hufflepuff exclaims, getting up from the ground. 

“Of course I did, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Slytherin looks at the picnic that Hufflepuff prepared and their eyes widened. “You did all this?” 

There’s all sorts of foods on the yellow blanket, and it’s all very lovely. “You sound surprised,” Huff jokes around. 

Sly laughs and sits down besides Huff. “Not in a bad way, it’s just...” They trail off and their gaze settles on Hufflepuff. “You’re amazing, you are.” (that sounds a little odd, but i’m just referencing it to when ron weasley said that to hermione granger, it’s supposed to sound like that)

I’m not gonna get into details but I will give a general sense of what happens: They talk for a long time, laughing and joking around. Slytherin thinks Hufflepuff looks really really nice and their heart flutters when Huff smiles and laughs. It’s like music to their ears. 

Huff walks Sly back to their common room, and Sly gives them a kiss on the cheek. 

Even after Sly goes through the door and leaves, Huff is standing there in surprise, trying to remember their own name. Finally, snapping out of their blissfulness, they make a decision. 

As Huff walks back to their own dorm, their thoughts repeat in their mind. 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I tell Slytherin I love them. 

THE END

OOOOOO WASNT THAT SWEET!? I know it was pretty short but in the slytherpuff series, I have so many events planned out and one of them is more or less similar (to some extent) to this story so I didn’t want to get into too much details. ANYWAYS IF ANYONE WANTS TO REQUEST ANYTHING ELSE I AM OPEN TO ANY IDEAS (although limited to slytherin x hufflepuff’s pls). I have a few ideas, and you can pick one if you want: 

slytherin thinking that hufflepuff is cheating on them- ANGSTY

LMAO THATS LITERALLY IT. i lowkey wanna write about that bc i know i would never write it for the slytherpuff series since slytherin trusts hufflepuff A LOT; ill only write it if someone actually wants it so pls lmk! im basically open to anything that doesnt have anything to do with the slytherpuff series! im looking through relationship writing prompts but most of them are things that i would want to include in the slytherpuff series. if anyone has very angsty prompts then pls send me them if u want me to write about it. that is all, goodbye and have a good day <3

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Tma season 2 notes baybeee

I made myself take several breaks so I could give my frie d who is listening to it at the same time as me a chance to catch up. Honestly just posting them so I have them saved somewhere but whatever.

ep 41: real graham wrote keep watching before he was replaced. Jon feels like he's being watched. But they werent replaced by things related to the eye. It's the web that's on the box that replaces them. Endless hallways and doors to nowhere. I bet nicholas will have ideas what entity this relates to. If it even does. They're like the tunnels in the one with the builder guy. Tunnels closing in etc. Also like the cave diving one. He's assuming it's just one

ep 42: so 100 gecs? (IM SORRY I LIKE 100 GECS BUT LMAO) so there's some entity related to music right? There's the piper episode and the 27 w/ the calliope. Ah yes, this season is gonna be the season of Paranoid!Jon

ep 43: section 31? fucking books. god no. smashed lights? cult lady did that. covered the lights too. she mentioned a spooky clown doll. thats not random.

ep 44: is this that same circus that got mentioned before? it is! the pipe organ! pop off organ! pipe off! mouth on the stomach! yes! mouths in unusual places my beloved!

ep 45: antiques! like that one ep!

ep 46: every time books get mentioned i sigh. hhh sus smells. it got brighter. I get the vibes occasionally that the dark and the eye are sorta at odds with eachother. GRRR BARK BARK LEITNER. ayyy ex altiora. entity go brr. which entity do we thing it is? my guess is The Dark. The book buyer's name is Mike. He has scars? Electricity? The childhood friend of the guy who got it later on perhaps? The Vast? its formatted like an entity idk. This happened before the other one. He got trapped in the wood carving. a win for the web lol spiders go brr

ep 47: did i hear spiral? ITS THE NOT THING FROM THE EPISODE WITH NOT GRAHAM "it didnt move, it shifted" is like the exact same sentence as before. ay john's starting to remember. the laughing woah thats weird. is "michael" one of the entities? "you make it seem like theres a war" supports my theory that theres a struggle between a couple of the entities. I said i thought it was the eye and the dark i believe but im not sure. its whatever entity michael is vs the worms? what did nicholas say the worms were again? The Corruption? still dont know which one michael is tho.

Had to take a break after that episode. smth about the quality of michael's voice makes me feel like im gonna slip into one of those states where it feels like nothing is real, so i got a nice cold glass of water.

ep 48: jesus ok this one's kidna corny. you're telling me love made the crowd go away come on now. Ur losing it big J. also shouldnt it be more sus that "sasha" is so unaffected by the worm incident/ finding of gertrude's body

ep 49: haven't we heard hector's name before? oh is he the crime guy? fucking jared... so it's a throat? chompa chompa. (it's just a little bit hot) the good part about these episodes is that we know whoever's telling the story isn't gonna die. even if it's a close call, they're not dead. hotworth? ok not jared keay. it bothers me how theres so many repeated names, can they not come up with other names? "sasha"'s computer is breaking... sus. Elias our favorite weed man! jon ur so paranoid lmao

ep 50: robert smirk, at it again. this is like that one episode with the old dude who locked his door. who said idle beforehand? was it smirk? fingertips. thats so weird lmao. bahahah tim

ep 51: simon fairchild. im sure jon will mention the name at the end i cant remember where we've heard it. this is just like the cavediving episode. a hand? there was a hand in the last one right? the scalpel! and an eye thing. she's trying to throw them off.

ep 52: thats the guy from before! with the hearts! god i hate this guy writing the statement hh. lights blowing, and brackish water. we know how this ends but its still tense. rainer? reigner? rain man. we've seen him before

ep 53: pls not a leitner. oh boy mans scratched out his eyes. rip skelly. why would gertrude have had this statement off the books? jon stabbed himself?? bruh im? big man are you okay

ep 54: cockney boys! ayy its our favorite delivery men. she cut out their eyes. she knew that the eye was a thing?

ep 55: oily residue like the retirement home!

ep 56: worms? no. spiders?? bruhh. aaah yelling :(( aww martin anyways yeah i called it about paranoid!jon he needs to take a nap and drink some hot chocolate and calm down for once please

ep 57: just remembered, i think theres an entity called The Lonely?? This feels pretty lonely idk. fairchild, lukas/ lucas, some spooky place in norway idk. "sasha" knew he was recordinig hmm suspicious cmon jon figure it out. Sasha and tom. hm sus. for records sake i feel liek i should note here that I did have it spoiled to me simply that that's not sasha, but thats really all. i assumed it was like the thing that happened to graham in S1

ep 58: i feel like i recognize the name eustice (?) wick. someone please tell me im not just watching jon's descent into madness over the course of this podcast. im hoping it isnt so but, (and pardon the dsmp reference) im getting real wilbur vibes from this one.

ep 59: oh dear ok account from the fielding house. swirling designs? Spiral time? oh boyy. oh wait! 6 inch hole in the middle! is it not a spiderweb type design on the table? thats what i had assumed but that description sounds more like a spiral thing. cobwebs is a Web thing. ayy nicholas was right! the box goes in the table! the place that she kissed him was burning. Raymond is an avatar of The Web and agnes is the burning one. Lightless Flame! Why did she save him? i guess she was against this guy eating ppl or wtvr but why was she at the halfway house then? I think she's like michael.

ep 60: the eye go brr

ep 61: breacon and hope once again. tom. sasha's boyfriend. vampires sleep in coffins. the guy just walking in seems similar to the mind control of the vampires

ep 62: bones! its that one leitner. is this mother keay? the mom of gerard? this is what happened to her right? her skin was found on hooks? oh yeah thats what i thought the pages are made of skin. yeesh. The End!! sounds like an entity. phrased like one, and i think i remember it. are the people trapped in the pages? or... kept?

ep 63: eaten by the darkness! cavediving episode! (just like eaten by the sky) did my brain make up one called The Vast? it feels like it should be one, and all these episodes have some similar description about their feelings when they do whatever chosen hobby they have. ok now this one kinda feels like the dark. lights going out and all that. ok so not really a The Vast thing, its more of a Dark thing. feckin smirk gah.

ep 64: dice! the death guy! the death game thing! the person tricked somebody else into becoming death and then they were immortal? but if the egyptians wanted to kill him or punish him or whatever couldnt they just kill him? it worked in the end when he had the person giving the statement stab him, that did the job and actually killed him

ep 65: finally jon is actually acknowledging something is wrong.

So we know Mary Keay was revived most likely with the book by gerard.

Gertrude was way more aware of the entities than Jon. mary keay referenced The End openly and she cut the eyes out of her magazines and all that which makes me think she was aware of The Eye

ep 66: please not buried alive pleeaase not buried alive. lukas of the tundra? didnt we hear the name lukas before? she wanted it to be difficult to find important files because that way bad people couldnt find them?

ep 67: agnes... the girl in the hilltop house? agnes poppin off!! he's really not gonna question how she knew where he lived?? oh no D: the tree. were they the ones working on the house? aww they kissi- OH DEAR. why did she kiss him? it seemed like she cared about him? also she could kiss that other dude on the cheek and he was fine, but maybe it was cuz she was younger? lightless flame go brrrrr.

ep 68: oh god books. yup its bitchboy leitner. mans said "this seems supernatural, its a werd book!" bruuh.

ep 69: heh nice. aw cmon jon listen to martin. gahhh spiders. is that the class we heard about in the other doctor one with the teeth apple? some kind of psych class? oh dear. fucking spiders. aaaah. web do be goin brr. it's like the girl in the homeless shelter! who made the guy leave and she took his bed.

ep 70: is this gonna be the book that mary keay had? Most likely a leitner no matter what. Oh boy latin. Why did it start in latin then become old English? I'm guessing people put them in the book? He cant burn it. Phrophecies go brr. He says eh it's a decade in the future it's fine. Its gonna have changed. Ayy called it. Just accept it, it's a magic book. His death is getting closer. Leitner didnt make them but just collected them? Gertrude burned the book! She burned them down there so no one would know.

ep 71: oh boy tunnels. Our favorite thing /s. is The Buried a thing? Idk this seems pretty buried. Oh dear he's trapped here isnt he. "Not enough space to move, never enough to breathe" is that from the computer episode? With the guy who uploaded his consciousness? Somebody living down there. Hmmmm. Guesses: tom, sasha's boyfriend. Gertrude herself? (Though I doubt it)

ep 72: sweeney todd moment. Meat. The slaughter? Idk we'll see what the supernatural part is. Meat is meat. Similar to the slaughterhouse episode. Is it fucking Jared I swear to God it better not be. Hooligan teenagers, you know how it is. Meat is me lmao. Is the kid gonna be in the freezer. Ok that's good. OWW. Oddly textured candles. Made from people? Human fat or smth? Tom from the meat processing plant!

ep 73: outer bay shipping. Bet it's a subset of breacon and hope delivery. The Dark go brrr. Uh oh mans is gonna die. Leo or whatever. Cult ppl go brr. The people's church of the divine host. Who is the divine host? Is it reigner or whatever his name is? I dont think Jon can quit tbh. Probably an anonymous tip but from who?? One of the entities?

ep 74: fucking teeth hhh. I dont know which entity is related to teeth. Spiral. Isnt the spiral an entity. It feels like it could be related to many things idk. Yeah this sounds like the spiral. Heart attack at 29? Jesus... michael! That's kinda what I was thinking. Sasha goin in the tunnels. Hmm sus. They move the floor. Wack. Bet its tom.

ep 75: Man with a lightning scar. Has one of the leitner books. The childhood friend of the one who first introduced us to leitner. Oh my god that sounds terrifying. Michael crew.

ep 76: scalpel? Hmm spooky. NotSasha... think jon think.

ep 77: another double! NotThem, The Stranger. Not related to the table?

ep 78: what was that at the beginning? Question mark?? Oh boy more NotThem. Decker... what is the deal with the table. Does it contain the creature? Fucking Michael. Bitchboi himself.

ep 79: yes pop off martin. Ugh fucking Michael just leave man. I hate that dude. New person. Hmm. No idea who it is.

ep 80: shitener himself! Ok sir tell us the entities. Ayy The Spiral. Ok we know what that one is. The Eye is the beholding! Oooh. The Stranger. Did elias just kill leitner? Popping off honestly.

[k-i-ssmyash]

Pls I would love to hear your analysis on why those mitski songs fit each iz boy (feel free to ignore this but if you'd like do tell bcs I think it is interesting B) )

Oh buddy you've made a mistake. You'd love to hear the analysis? Well I love to talk; I hope your ready for the absolute word vomit and rambling that's under the cut. But yeah, no, i'll never turn down asks like this! Interact with me! I'm but a simple, lonely tumblr hermit.

Let's start off with the first post containing Zim and referencing A Pearl. I tie this song in with his (fandom assumed) character development and how it effects both his mental state, Dib, and his ideology of the Irken Empire as a whole. In a way, I think a lot of us over-sympathize or find common ground with our alien and it prompts us to victimize him and excuse a lot of his actions. And for good reasons honestly? It's easy to do so consider that he was born under the rule of a tyrannical society where flaws are looked down upon. He does wrong but to him it's not exactly wrong, is it? It's unfair to judge him and scrutinize him the same way we do humans. The show is slap-stick at it's core and despite the grim and black-humor based undertones, not much is taken seriously. Although it often ends up in failure, everything he attempts to do is to better the empire, to receive recognition from the beings they hail to about the same degree as a deity. The long and short of it is that he wants to make the Tallest happy. To prove that he's worth their time and that he can live up to everything he dreamed he could be, but the truth is that he can't. He loves the people that hate him the most. It's an abusive relationship at it's finest, really. So he picks up the most unhealthy coping mechanism: Denial. He can't accept the fact that he's a fake invader, or that his Tallest weren't coming to Earth, because it would genuinely destroy him. And why wouldn't it? Pleasing his superiors and contributing to the hive-collective is encoded in him. It's all he's ever known. I specifically chose the given lines "(It's just that) I fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended-" because that's the back-bone of Zim's character. You can take it both literally and metaphorically if you'd like. He's invader Zim. He likes being an invader because it gives him a purpose. The Tallest give him a fake mission and play into his delusion of doing good and being someone important (of being loved, even) and never truly hammer in the fact that he's exiled--not counting the unaired episode or the bit of commentary mumbled under the Tallests breath-- because they find the situation funny to an extent. (also, what gets me just in general with it is that Zim thinks that people like him but he's actually just one big joke and ow goddamn it my feelings) Main lyric(s) out of the way there I similarly associate the song to Zim's uh 'character redemption' so to say. I think he'd struggle to become accustomed to Earth and the fact that he doesn't have to rely on commands to live his life. I relate the line(s): "You're getting tired of me (and all of the things I don't talk about) / You love me so hard and I still can't sleep / It's not that I don't want you / It's not that I don't want your touch / There's a hole that you fill" With his relationship with Dib-- platonic, romantic, whatever-- and the general give and take of it all. He'd like to assimilate and believe in the freedom given by living on Earth. He wants it and in a way Dib provides the stability he needs there and it would be so, so, easy to give in to it. But he can't because the Empire continues to loom over him and his day-to-day life. As it's been proven, without Dib there to provoke Zim, the little alien falls into a depression, not unlike the one he fell into in Enter The Florpus when he saw the truth in his mission. Dib is his substitute, essentially. (there's something to be said with that relationship and how I view it but this is already dragging on and this is only the first analysis, so maybe another time.) And lastly, I'd like to think that the Pearl the song is eluding to can be compared to Zim's PAK. The whole 'Pearls are parasites that live inside of mollusks' bit can relate to the PAK and it's purpose. But I see it more in the sense that the PAK is the second brain, a computer memory drive that grants Zim access to the memories he can't bring himself to forget or delete. I.e., "And it left a pearl in my hand / And i roll it around every night just to watch it glow /

Every night, baby, that's where I go" Every time he takes a step forward, he takes two back because he just can't let go of what he knows (the Empire).

--- As for Dib and I Bet On Losing Dogs, well, it's a little more complicated and I'm still not entirely sure of my break-down here because there's so many layers to apply. Originally when I started messing around with this idea, it was going to be centered on Membrane "My baby, you're my baby, say it to me" and him loving Dib despite his flaws. And I still think it could apply. While Dadbrane doesn't support Dib's paranormal bull-shit, and he shouldn't considering the lengths Dib goes through to prove it (bus hoping, obsessive behavior, the fucking trench-coat) he does support and love his son despite the absentness. Hence the "I bet on losing dogs" and you know, Dadbrane just being there to pick him up and have his back when he really needs to. But then we get to the last line of the first verse. "Tell your baby that I'm your baby" To which Dib, in all of his edgy glory, decided to stick his big-head in to my thought process. I saw it as Dib wishing that Membrane would pick him over Science. Kind of a plea for attention? Like: Put your work away, I know you love it but you need to love me more. Dib has got to have the biggest hero-complex out of everyone in the show. He also has an inferiority-complex that compels him to try and prove himself. Quite frankly, and pun fully intended, he is the underdog. The odds are always against him and he almost never comes out victorious in the end, in that way, I feel like Dib himself is the loosing dog. His belief in the supernatural is the loosing dog. No one will ever believe him, "I bet on losing dogs / I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place" but he's too stubborn to give up. Even if he's mocked and ridiculed he would never stop trying to prove himself correct and would continue to stick to his guns. "I'll be there on their side / I'm losing by their side" He ostracizes himself from his peers by not letting belief go. He is purposely sabotaging his chance of being seen as someone other than the crazy kid.

That being said, the next line is where his Hero-complex comes back into play. "Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down" in Enter the Florpus, his sworn enemy was in a funk that he knew all too well. Sure, in the end he wanted to use Zim for his own gain, but before that he sympathized with him. And in a way, he possibly wouldn't know how to act if he ever did actually succeed? I couldn't help but think that Dib, who has always lost wouldn't feel like exposing Zim would be a win? He'd miss the fight. Dib would miss the struggle of being beaten down only to rise up when he finally gets some sort of substantial evidence: "I wanna feel it / I bet on losing dogs" he hopes that Zim will come up with something big and bad not because he wants him to win either, but because then Dib has something to fight against. Along with that, the one time Dib actually broke away from paranormal to go along with his father's wishes he was absolutely miserable. He was successful. He made his father happy, he could have made something out of his life but he couldn't; the appeal of Zim and their on-going stalemate was too much to resist-- "I always want you when I'm finally fine / Someone to watch me die" -- Dib is ruining himself by obsessing over the truth and Zim would be going down, right there with him. ahaha, that was a lot wasn't it? It probably didn't make sense either as it's just my personal rambling here, but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts and opinions on it all.

[fanficmemes]

uh, i hope im not bothering but i wanted to ask you all for a little advice.

there was this person i was talking to in a fandom i'm in. he was really supportive, and would always comment on my fanart and fanfics and stuff and it was really encouraging for me as a developing writer and artist. we did have a few private chats (mostly about some fic ideas). recently, though, he asked me what country i was from. i didn't really have a problem with that at the beginning since i referenced it quite a few times in my blog, and though i did get kind of weirded out, i never really thought too much on it.

a little later, i learnt that said guy was 21 (i'm a minor and there's a considerable age gap between us), and was also told that he was very racist, ableist and classist (i said 'i was told' because i wasn't in the discord server where the person i learnt all this stuff from was). i also noticed that he was... obsessing a little too much over two characters and their ship--they're both 13. i got uncomfortable and blocked him.

truth is, i feel guilty. i feel like i acted a bit too irrationally. i didn't know if he had any bad intention of asking me my country, or approaching me in the first place. i don't outright say that i'm a minor, however there are several posts that allude to it. and since everything related to him being racist/ableist/classist is a second-hand account from one person, i can't be 100% sure if the person i learnt everything from is telling the truth or not--despite they have proven to be pretty transparent and vocal about certain problems in the fandom many times and is generally a very trusted person in the fandom. plus, i am planning to be more active on the fandom and i'm afraid of him confronting me about it.

what should i do if he confronts me about it? or what should i do next? am i overreacting? thank you for your time.

Hey nonny!! don’t worry, asks are never a bother :):):) 

I’m not gonna pretend to know the perfect answer here, but I dont think you did anything wrong. anytime you EVER feel uncomfortable, you hit block. especially as a minor!!! even if they didnt do the other things that you mentioned, they made you feel uncomfortable, and thats not something that you need to deal with. if he continues to bother you after you cut ties pls report him. i went through something similar a few years ago and i wish someone couldve told me to report their behaviour or even just block them and run. nonny ur not overreacting at all okay. U do whatever you need to do to feel safe, and pls be careful kiddo. <3<3<3<3<3

[chamelis]

I mean no offense in asking this but what about that "curry" song is offensive? Is curry not an important dish in Indian culture and eating beef against the majority religion of India (Hinduism)?

dude... are you kidding?? have you been reading any of the posts?

*sigh* ok. since u asked so nicely, let me spell it out for you. and for anyone who has been too afraid to ask bc they really should have caught on by now.

first, have a look at this post i made, where i talk abt what south asians face generally. in that post, i put a screenshot of some of the lyrics of that song. first of all, the whole tone of those words is extremely unsettling to me - two Korean men making a song about a culture that they're literally not a part of. like, don't even say "appreciation". if you want to appreciate my culture and food, just eat the fucking food??

but that's not even the main thing. the thing that quite literally made my stomach drop was .... i can't even bring myself to quote it accurately but, smth like "if two people were eating curry and one dropped dead, the other wouldn't notice"?? smth along those lines.

so you're telling me that you like eating indian curry so much that you went wrote an unnecessary song about it, and proceeded to make a disgusting joke about how made it smells??? comparing it to a literal corpse?? what the fuck???

and yes, i know this song was made in 2010 and the original artists have now apologised for making it. but it took them 10 years??? really??? other groups have done this before, btw. stray kids and oh my girl, as far as i can remember. and when they did this, their fans also spoke up about it. im not quite sure what the groups did in response, but, clearly this has been an issue within the last 10 years. but only NOW the original artists realised that they majorly fucked up by making this song??

and dont even get me started on their apology. it was full of "we love indian culture we just wanted to make a fun and catchy song about it". norazo, you didnt just do that. you made a song by taking random 'buzz' words from our culture ("shanti", "TAJ MAHAL", "namaste" and all that shit), referenced random things that we abide by without context (eating with the right hand, no beef etc.), and descriptions of curry that you thought were funny ("its yellow, but it doesn't smell nice" or some shit. again, these arent direct quotes because i refuse to look those lyrics up again.)

what you need to understand, anon, is that this is the worst way you could appreciate someone's culture. that song is made by people who clearly know nothing further and deeper about our culture and traditions past "taj mahal" and "namaste". they think it's hilarious that our food tastes so great but smells so shit. you mean to tell me they loooove our culture, but then thought it was okay to take random hindu terminology which has a deeper meaning and relevance, and just throw them in a song about curry??

by now, i really hope you're seeing why the existence of this song is deeply unsettling. but there's more of a problem here. clearly, over the recent years of kpop groups' controversial encounters with this song, svt never realised that the song is offensive. they've had the luxury of not learning why this song is stupid and derogatory and berating to our culture. they've been able to ignore the fact that south asians across the world are misunderstood and discriminated against because people like norazo reduce our culture to these songs with no meaning other than to """appreciate""" something in the worst way possible.

and that's the worst part to me. svt clearly dont have to care about racism and the struggles of other asians. they're famous and rich and they have a korean fanbase to rely on, so they dont have to care about the struggles of international fans. but south asian culture is REPEATEDLY used in kpop for the aesthetic - there are so many examples of this that you could probably Google it and find a plethora of kpop controversies explained by south asians.

and you know why this keeps happening?? because culturally, in korea, people aren't understanding why shit like this is dumb and wrong. when it comes to idols and their companies, they're either ignoring the uproar (like pledis), or making a half assed apology and then proceeding to appropriate and diminish another culture for their next comeback. so yeah, svt and other idols aren't forced to care about this shit, but they need to start caring. and if they don't, i and a lot of other south asian fans aren't gonna keep loving and supporting and paying them just for them to turn around and slap us in the face by perpetuating harmful and stupid stereotypes of us.

my friend v made a good post here which explains how kpop has brought global east asian rep and broke stereotypes, and now we need the same for south asian cultures. we have an incredibly beautiful and rich cultural background, but when people make songs like this and idols sing them and find them catchy or funny, they reduce our cultures to a couple words and stereotypes. they make us feel small. insignificant past being people that eat smelly curry with our fucking right hand. i am more than that. south asians are more than that. and at this point, i don't even know if svt, the people whom I've given so much love, know that.

I'd like to believe that they had no racist intentions. but that frankly doesn't matter either way. they fucked up by singing that song and seeing nothing wrong with it. and they're still fucking up by staying silent about it. and this is gonna allow some rookie group to make the same fucking mistake in the future, and the cycle repeats, and south asians are continually discriminated and made to feel shit about themselves because of some song that their favourite idols can't stop singing no matter how many times they're told to.

lastly, if you've read all of this and decided that south asian fans are being dramatic and we're "cancelling ppl for no reason", just send me another ask saying so. then I'll block your IP address.

alternatively, if you have a genuine question about this, if my wording didn't make sense at any point, my inbox is open. but pls be polite. it's the least i ask for.

you can refer to this post which is pinned on my page which has resources you can use to contact pledis and tell them to make an apology statement and urge svt to understand their mistake + inform themselves on this issue.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Met You Tonight: Kauri and Jack

CW: Electroshock, referenced abusive relationship, pet whump, dehumanization, referenced conditioning/brainwashing, frank references to prostitution, very brief reference to assumed drug use

This piece is a collaboration with @spiffythespook featuring Jack/Reid! Takes place immediately after Kauri escapes, five days after he gets away from Owen Grant. This collab has multiple parts, so you’ll see Spiffy and I posting them as we get them edited!

Tagging Kauri and Jack’s crews: @im-not-rare-im-rarr, @maybeawhumpblog, @pepperonyscience, @haro-whumps, @18-toe-beans, @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @giggly-evil-puppy, @whimpers-and-whumpers, @moose-teeth, @whump-it, @lumpofwhump, @pumpkinthefangirl, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @rivertamandspike​

It had been raining most of the day. It was the kind of pounding, pouring rain that hit hard enough to splatter and splash back up, collected outside sewage drains and ran like miniature rivers along the gutters.

By the time midnight came around, though, the rain had stopped, leaving the sound of water rushing through storm drains along the side of the streets and a heavy, oppressive humidity hanging in the air. The streets were shimmering wet, reflections from headlights bouncing right off the road, and streetlight circles looked more like puddles than actual illumination.

People found their way out onto the streets anyway. They came in cars and on foot, walking to bars or racing each other into clubs. They stumbled drunk or walked sober, congregated into clumps that giggled and talked and danced and laughed.

In rougher parts of town people still walked to the bars, but there were plenty who simply stood, too.

Women and men walked slowly along their chosen corners in the glow of streetlights or in the dark, hips jutted out or with a certain kind of stance that gave away what they were selling. The occasional car cut through the night, came to a stop along the curb. Sometimes the john got out - sometimes the woman or man on the corner got in - before the car drove away.

From one dark alley the sound of harsh, ugly laughter echoed from two or three voices at once. Underneath the laughter was scraping and whining, thumps and a soft pleading for them to please, just st-stop, I don't have any money, please.

Eventually, one of the three, a nondescript and muscular guy in a plain shirt and jeans who could have been anywhere from a rough 30 to a pretty good 45, stepped out, lit a cigarette, and glanced over his shoulder. "Come on, guys, that fucking tweaker doesn't have shit anyway. Look at him twitch, he probably spent his last dime on whatever shit he’s got in his system.”

The two others with him laughed, coming out into the light themselves, arguing good-naturedly over their destination before heading on foot towards the nearest bar.

Their noise drew the attention of a young man, clearly one of those who had been busy walking the streetcorner, still wet from the earlier weather. The young man stayed well out of view until they departed, eyeing the raucous group until the sound of the men’s voices had totally faded and they turned a corner.

From the alleyway came the sound of low, broken cursing. The young man blinked and headed a little closer to try and take a look and see what exactly had gotten the attention of the three men that had just left.

There was a boy curled up in the alleyway - a man but barely, and he was soaked to the skin. The expensive blue cashmere sweater he'd been wearing was ripped, torn, and bloody. Soft black pants were so wet they clung to his legs, and the flat slide-on sandals on his feet were at least two sizes too big.

Bloody and bruised, the boy began to push himself back up to standing when suddenly every muscle went rigid. He let out a cry and his back arched as he dropped with a hard crack of his knees back to the ground.

"Ow, ow, n-n-no, st-stop-... please, stop, pl-please," The boy begged no one who could hear him, clutching at a spot just below his neck on the right side, pressing hard with the flat of his palm. His other hand was flat on the alleyway ground, his black curls plastered to his forehead with a mix of sweat and rain.

He felt a throbbing pain in one eye that told him he'd be bruised by morning, but it was nothing compared with the agony racing through the nerves under his skin.

"Stop, I w-won't come h-h-home, stop it I w-won't," he pleaded, in his surprisingly deep soft voice, to no one, to someone, to anyone. "Y-you lied, you lied to me, you lied, I won’t...”

From the end of the alley, pressed into the shadow of the wall, the young man stepped out slowly and cleared his throat to draw the boy’s attention. His wet hair was pushed back, combed through messily with fingers and a couple wet strands hung in his face. If his tight, cropped shirt and jeans didn’t give away his profession, his naturally alluring posture did... but there was no desire in his expression, only concern.

“Hey, buddy. You look like you’re in pretty rough shape. Need a hand?”

Kauri flinched away from the voice, trying to scramble backwards, but his muscles were still so locked from pain that all he could manage was a foot or two before he froze again. He looked up, teeth ground together, to show wide, frightened blue eyes. 

He had a circle of red around one eye beginning to darken, and the young man in the cropped shirt put his hands up, trying to show he was harmless, taking in the other man’s disheveled, sopping wet appearance.

"N-no, pl-please!” Kauri’s voice was thin and strained, and his hands kept shaking, nerve endings twitching long after the pain had ended. “I don't have any m-money. I d-don't have anything! Pl-please don’t hurt me!”

He put his left hand out in some kind of supplication, sweater sleeve riding up his arm, the hint of a barcode tattoo on the inside unmistakable. "Please! Please, j-just, just ow, fuck-... aftersh-shocks, ah-”

“Did I ask for money? I don’t want anything from you, man,” the young man said. He froze at the sight of the tattoo, biting his lip anxiously and glancing over both ends of the alley to check that no one was nearby. He crouched down a couple of feet - a good safe distance - away. With his work boots on, he couldn’t quite lay his feet flat - instead, he perched on his toes. “Hey, it’s okay. Listen, um... I used to be a box boy, too, okay? I can’t prove it, they… my owner was pretty shady. The company took off my tattoo so they wouldn’t be associated with him. Anyway, I’m not gonna hurt you. I don’t… believe in that shit.”

“B-Box…” Kauri’s voice trailed off, confused. “I d-don’t-... how do you-... Oh, fuck, the news, he told the news or something…” He moved back a couple of feet, nearly crawling on his hands and knees. “D-Did you see me on the news? Is, is that how you kn-know about me?”

“Shit, no. I don’t have cable or anything-” the young man said, almost laughing. The sound died as the boy’s muscles locked again, spine curving as his head dropped towards the ground, forehead nearly touching the dirty alley pavement.

Kauri whimpered, rocking back onto his knees, unconsciously bending forwards to move into Respect.

The young man grit his teeth and hesitated, an expression of mixed distaste and old fear on his face. Again, he moved forward - nearly on his hands and knees, too, now. “Hey. I know because I saw your tattoo. I’m not gonna turn you in, man, but I can guarantee someone’s going to notice if you’re this fucked up out here alone. Lemme help you out, I’ve got an apartment. What’s happening? Is that... electroshock?”

Kauri gasped in a breath and nodded without coming up from position, trying to calm his mind, to keep a single coherent thought through the sudden rush of pain. Just as quickly as it had come, it seemed to fade out, and his breathing changed, from shallow quick gasps to deep gulps of the humid air.

“It’s-... a n-new product, I just… here.” He pushed himself up and back, kneeling resting on his heels, slowly looking back up, searching the other man’s face for a sign that this was any worse a decision than anything else he’d done in the past five days.

All he saw was concern - genuine honest concern.

He pulled the neck of his sweater down on the right side, exposing his collarbone to nearly halfway down his chest. Along the bone ran a small line of perfectly spaced circular dots, glinting like metal in the light, glowing with a faint blue light against his skin.

“I ran away from my owner,” he said, a little hoarsely. “He’s trying to get me to come home.”

The young man’s eyes widened, brow rising at the sight of the… well, they looked like piercings, but he knew better. “Damn. That’s a fancy fuckin’ product, isn’t it?” He leaned back, sat on his heels, and sighed. “Good for you, for running and not going home. You got a place to stay?”

“W-Would I… would I look like this if I had a place to stay?” The boy flinched as soon as the sarcasm was out of his mouth, like he expected an angry reaction or even for the pain to start again.

The young man grinned, tilted his head, looking happy that the other guy had a bit of spunk in him. “...fair point. But if you didn’t want a place to stay, you’d tell me you already have one.” Kauri moved to push himself weakly to his feet, and the young man watched him closely, ready to reach out in case he stumbled.

Kauri swayed a little, pale and lightheaded, but he made it to standing, one hand on the brick wall next to him to hold himself up. Some of the aging brick crumbled around his fingers as he scratched into it. “I don’t have anywhere, I’m not… I don’t know anyone. I jumped out of, of a moving car, I just have…” He looked over his shoulder. On the ground behind him, mostly hidden in shadow, was a blue backpack. “I just have that.”

The other man nodded. “Okay. So...you want a place to crash for the night or not? In case your psycho master decides to lay it on thick again. ‘Cause, uh… lemme tell you… this district is not one you wanna be stuck in overnight unless you plan to have sex of one kind or another.”

“Psycho… Mr. Owen’s not psycho, he just-” Kauri jerked again, but it didn’t last this time and he was only rigid against the wall for a few seconds before he let out a shuddering breath and turned, scooping the backpack up by the straps. It hung with surprising weight off of him when he pulled it on over his shoulders.

Sure he’s not, the other man thought, but let it slide. The shock was bad enough without someone rubbing in how warped it was that you could have electroshock piercings… maybe they were even screwed into the bone. He made a bit of a face at that idea, feeling pain in his teeth like in response to nails on a chalkboard. The heaviness of the boy’s bag told him that the guy didn’t have nothing, but that was none of his business, either.

“Um.” Kauri shifted, a little uneasily, from foot to foot. “If you… d-don’t mind, I can st-stay? Just, just for tonight? I don’t have any money, I d-don’t have anything, I j-just…” His voice trailed off, considering. “I’m… I’m Kauri.”

“I’m Jack,” the young man responded, and then promptly grinned and quirked his head. “And I’m filthy rich tonight, so don’t worry about money. C’mon, let’s go. Wanna lean on me, or are you okay?”

“I’m... okay to walk.” Kauri’s teeth were gritted, his jaw set, and he walked with a pained stiff movement that made it clear the three in the alley had landed at least a few pretty good kicks while they were having their fun, but he stayed up.

For a second, they walked in silence, Kauri glancing sidelong at Jack, curiously.

“Hey. If you were, were really… like me… then you’re n-not rich,” Kauri said, but it was with a little bit of humor lacing his voice, a hint of resilience under everything else. “We can’t live on our own, we d-don’t know anything, it’s in all the… things they made us know, to say.”

Jack nodded, then shrugged. “Speak for yourself. I am the proud possessor of one month’s rent and enough grocery money for the next couple weeks. On a rainy day, no less,” he cocked a crooked grin. It faded after a moment or two. “I dunno, man. I think my order was really strange. I’ve got memory gaps from the drugs, but all my skills are intact… well. Except the writing, still.”

Kauri was a little slow, having to move carefully against the ache from the earlier assault. It gave him time to look at Jack and try to decide if he was just lying, if he’d just turn him in. Jack didn’t seem all that bothered by the pace. He shuffled along slow enough to stay right alongside him.

“I can’t write either. If I do, um-” He gestured at his collarbone again, the little glowing circles hidden now under the wet sweater. “These go off. But I couldn’t before… is Jack your before-name? Kauri’s my name he gave me, I d-don’t have another one anymore.”

Jack nodded in understanding. How they managed to tune an electroshock device to someone’s writing, he didn’t know. It was weird. Renford could do it if she wanted - she could do anything, as far as he could tell.

“Yeah,” he nodded, shuddering for too many reasons thinking of her face… being wet and cold was the least of them. “I had a, uh, a pet name. I don’t like it. Took me a while to remember myself, but the other guys in the district knew who I was. They helped. Sorta.” He snorted. “There’s some loyalty among whores, but us gay prostitutes have too much competition and too little market, so I still watched my back.”

Kauri stumbled to a stop all at once, turning to look at him again more clearly in the light that shone from a streetlamp above their heads.

He took in the cropped shirt and tight pants, the shoes, then slowly raised his eyes back up to the man’s face. “I-I didn’t…” His voice trailed off again, staring blatantly, but the look on his face was more like wide-eyed surprise, like a child that had never seen a dandelion before, rather than any kind of judgement.

Jack turned, surprised that Kauri had stopped. When he realized why Kauri looked so surprised, he grinned and put a hand on his hip, cocked it, and smirked. “You like what you see?” Kauri’s surprise was hilarious. But that was okay...he didn’t seem grossed out.

Kauri went red. “I, um, I just… I-I, you’re… you’re okay, I just-... you went from being a, um, a pet to being… on purpose?”

Jack blinked at the question, and then gasped in understanding and shook his head. “Oh, no. I started on the streets long before I was legal - don’t tell anybody that - and then one day they picked me up. Special order for Cori fucking Fisher. You seen him on the news? Bastard. They fixed up my looks and made me take an oath, then dumped me back here - home sweet home.”

Kauri bit down on his lower lip in thought, cocking his head to the side, trying to think. Finally, he shook it. “No, sorry. Mr. Owen doesn’t watch news, I don’t… I don’t know anything. You had a bad owner? I mean, not just to you, to other people?”

Jack snorted. “Yeah, that’s putting it lightly.”

Kauri seemed to be thinking, taking Jack in. Then he started walking again, the heavy weight inside his backpack smacking against his lower back a little as he moved. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a, a gay, um, prostitute, uh… before.” Kauri’s face flushed red, visible even in the yellow streetlights they moved under. “I mean, I don’t know if I’ve seen anything before but… I feel like this is new.”

“You probably have and just couldn’t tell.” He smirked a bit at the flush on Kauri’s face. Man, he looked cute.

“So when you s-said you were rich…”

“Oh, I said I’m rich tonight. I’m a tiny bit sore, but I’m paid up for the month.” If it was possible, Kauri’s face went even redder, and Jack’s smile wider. “Worth it. Means every night I can work for the rest of the month, I’m saving. It also means we can stop at the store for supper. You hungry?”

Kauri swallowed, eyes widening a little at the offer, looking at Jack sideways again like he wasn’t sure what he should say. There was a muffled sound from inside his backpack - a soft faint beeping - and he twisted back to look at it, jostling it a little until the beeping went quiet again. “I, um. Y-Yeah, I haven’t… it’s been a, a while since I ate. This guy bought me crackers, but… Do you… I don’t have any money. I took s-some cash from Mr. Owen but, um, some people took that like the, the first day I was out. I can maybe help you? Clean or something? I have some Domestic training…”

Jack glanced uneasily at Kauri’s backpack, but decided to leave well enough alone. “Don’t worry about it, man. Like I said, I made enough today to eat for a while. I’ll make enough after a day of recovery that I won’t even worry for next month. Anyway, I had Domestic training, too, so the apartment’s in great shape.”

There were others out - women and men, some Jack’s competition probably, Kauri thought, eyeing them in a whole new light. When he’d found his way here it’d been because he’d been kicked off a bus, he had no idea where he was. He hadn’t known he was in a bad neighborhood other than the worn-down buildings and empty storefronts.  

The bars all seemed to be doing well enough, at least. And there was no shortage of cars stopping at streetcorners to pick the men and women lingering there up.

There was one woman with hair that made Kauri stare as they moved towards her, hanging most of the way down her back in shades of purple, green, and blue, nearly iridescent. She was wearing a short, tight minidress that mirrored it, the sequins almost like fish scales. “She looks like a mermaid,” Kauri breathed, but then caught himself. “I… don’t know what a mermaid is, I don’t know why I said that...”

“Uh-huh,” Jack said softly, almost under his breath, already starting to steer Kauri away.

Too late.

The woman heard them, glancing over and tossing hair over one shoulder.. “Oh thank you, honey. I worked hard to buy a wig as nice as this one.” She raised two thinly plucked eyebrows at Jack, shooting him a smile that wasn’t quite kind. “Look at you, Jack-Jack, picking up strays. Takes one to know one, I guess. Adopt don’t shop, that’s what I always say. This one’s cute.”

Jack smiled tensely back, the look a caustic and distinct leave us alone that had a mean little smile twitching onto the woman’s face in response.

Kauri shifted himself a little closer to Jack, and when the woman’s eyes went back to him, Kauri moved until he was behind the other man completely.

The woman pouted, a little, as if sad that he would hide from her. “Geez, Jackie, where’d you find him? He looks like he’s been standing out in the rain all day long.”

Kauri fought the urge to mumble two days actually, and hid himself a little more thoroughly behind Jack.

“I found him in the rain. Duh,” Jack responded, reaching back with an open hand for Kauri’s, hoping he would give it. Kauri gripped tightly onto him without hesitating, twining fingers around his and stepping as close to him as he could get. “Speaking of, I hear it’s gonna start up again pretty soon. Torrential downpour. Might wanna get you and your wig inside, Stella. See ya tomorrow.”

As they moved away from her, Stella rolled her eyes at him, shifting on her very high heels and turning back to watch the cars moving past, one hip jutted out. “Didn’t think twinks were your type, Jackie!” She called after him, and Kauri twisted around to look back at her, confused.

Jack pretended he didn’t hear her. He kept his eyes peeled for more hazards and leaned close to Kauri, voice low and cautioning. “Don’t talk to these people - you’re an outsider. They’ll eat you… and not in the fun way like I would.”

Kauri nodded solemnly, tightening his grip on Jack’s hand a little more. “Like, like the guys in the alley,” Kauri said in a half-whisper, less a question than a statement of fact. “They thought I had money, and then Mr. Owen… wanted me to miss him. That’s, that’s why he set it off, I think…”

“Yeah.”

Kauri hesitated, and then whispered, “Jack? Can, can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“Um... What’s a twink?”

Jack burst out laughing and steered Kauri down a different main street. “A twink’s a skinny, young, hot guy. They usually bottom, but not necessarily. Stella’s wrong, though - my type is ‘has a dick,’” he grinned a bit.

Bottom. Has a dick, Kauri mouthed the words in echo but didn't say them out loud, his face a little red, still embarrassed. "I, I don't… I, um. D-Do I… am I… that?" He gave up on putting together a sentence that made any sense and followed Jack in embarrassed silence after that.

The convenience store was on the corner of this block, bars on the large windows but a view of the fluorescent lights and displays inside visible in between them, and Jack led Kauri in after taking a quick look around. “Hey, Bill,” he greeted the clerk, with easy familiarity and something like real affection.

“Hi, Jack,” the clerk, a man somewhere in his forties, responded without looking up from his book.

The shop had mostly canned goods, magazines, and junk food, but Jack took a basket and went right to the freezer section to pick up some meat first. Crappy meat, but better than nothing. He got a gallon of milk, some blocks of cheese, and a couple jars of pickles.

“Anything you want in here?”

Kauri kept himself close, nearly pressed against him, eyes on the floor. As far as he knew, he'd never been in a place like this before. Owen bought groceries or had them delivered, Kauri never went anywhere with him except a coffeeshop or to the Host's, or to the, the ski cabin, where he and-

Kauri cut the memory off before it could hurt, gnawing on his lower lip nervously, trying not to look like what he was - a runaway pet, something worth money. The clerk hadn't looked up but his bloodied face and ripped-up expensive clothes weren't exactly subtle.

"I, I, um… I, I don't-... whatever you want is fine, Jack," He said seriously.

There was a soft beep from inside his backpack and a muffled, slightly mechanical female voice said, Kauri pizza appreciate all kinds. Kauri sandwich appreciate but not mayonnaise. Kauri iced coffee appreciate milk.

Kauri's eyes widened back to the fear from when he'd first seen Jack and his already pale face went white.

Jack’s brow raised and he pulled Kauri behind one of the shelves, out of Bill’s view. “Please tell me you don’t have robot parts in you, too.”

Kauri’s eyes fixed on the floor, shoulders curving in a little. As his hair dried out of the rain it was beginning to frizz up, and as he shook his head he tried to smash them back down, less distinctive, less recognizable.

“I, I don’t… um.” He looked to one side and then the other, then slid the backpack off his shoulders, holding it with one arm curved around it while the other reached for the zipper. When he unzipped it, slowly, he pushed back the fabric so Jack could see inside.

Jack stared a second at Kauri, and then warily looked into the bag, half-expecting something to jump out. Part of a circle of black metal and plastic was in there, with two softly glowing red circles on the flattened top. Jack squinted.

Keira greet, the female voice said, clearly coming from the Roomba nestled into some fabric. Designation Keira. Kauri, Owner.

Kauri swallowed, shamefaced. “I, um, I stole something when I ran away from Mr. Owen.”

“... yeah. A floor cleaner. Real bright,” Jack said, bewildered, staring at the two faintly glowing red dots that seemed to stare right back. He’d realized the kid was naive, but he didn’t realize he was a dumbass. “That’ll help you a lot more than like… clothes… water… I don’t know, a knife. Whatever, man. It’s talking, though, and that’s weird. Pizza? I’ll get pizza.” Jack muttered to himself a bit, pulling a couple boxed pizzas out of the freezer. That was reasonable - he could do that. Great. Just great. Lost one psycho, gained another.

Kauri’s eyes narrowed, the first sign of any real backbone or spine he’d shown so far. “No, I took her because he was going to get rid of her,” he snapped, zipping the bag back up and throwing it angrily back over his shoulders. “And she has GPS, she could tell me directions, but I didn’t… I don’t have anywhere to go, so she doesn’t know how to direct me. I don't know anything, and she knows everything. I can't even read, I can't… I can't tell anyone I don't know how to read."

“You just told me,” Jack responded, more to be obtuse than to actually argue.  

"You used to be a pet, too!" Kauri half-hissed, half-whispered. "You should be the only one I can tell!"

There was no more beeping from the backpack. Kauri's jaw was set and angry, but even so - he never left Jack's side, shadowed him like the pet he still was, always just behind and to the side.

Jack didn’t exactly mind that, although he was starting to question Kauri’s sanity - in fact, he turned around and took a long look into Kauri’s eyes, checking for dilated or pinprick pupils. Kauri stared right back, swallowing against the way they were inches apart.

Finally, Jack sighed, seemingly satisfied with what he saw. “Okay, so she’s a computer. She could tell me the total of this stuff. If she’s right, she’ll match Bill, and then maybe I’ll believe you.” Jack listed everything off with their prices before tax and waited.

There was a brief pause.

Fifty-seven dollars and thirty-five cents pre-tax, the woman's voice spoke from inside the backpack. She might have sounded slightly smug, but that could have just been the way the mechanical, robotic edge to the voice made it seem flat. Local sales tax is 6% on food and 13% on non-food items. Total cost sixty-one dollars and fifty-nine cents.

Kauri frowned, crossing his arms in front of himself. "There, now you admit when she's right that I'm not crazy."

“I didn’t say you’re crazy,” Jack said. He hadn’t, not to Kauri’s face. He’d just been muttering that he was psycho. Which was… not different. “Okay, I did say that you’re crazy. But I don’t think she’s right.”

He took a hoodie and a pair of sweats off a hanger, and put them up on the counter. He loaded the food up. “Hey Bill, can you subtotal before these?”

Bill looked up at Jack and his company, sighed tiredly, and set down his novel before he started punching in and bagging the order. Which subtotaled, of course, to sixty-one dollars and fifty-nine cents.

“...great, thanks. Yeah, add these to the order,” he pushed the clothes. Bill added them, looked over Kauri and paused.

“Got yourself a new stray? Lookin’ kinda fancy, there,” he asked, surprised. He folded the sweats and watched Jack, who kept a straight face and tried not to look nervous. “You boys should be careful. Cops’ll be making their rounds soon. Here,” he tossed the hoodie at Kauri.

“Yeah, thanks, Bill,” Jack took out a pair of fifties and passed them to Bill, who put them in his drop box right away and counted out some change. “Have a good night, man.”

“Get some rest, Jack.” Bill paused, and the automatic doors had slid open with a sssshhhk sound when he added, "And get something over his arm."

Kauri glanced down only to realize that crossing his arms had made his sleeve ride up again, his barcode and Whumpees-R-Us product number in plain sight. He yanked the sleeve back down and cradled the hooded sweatshirt in his arms, holding it so the cloth folded over his left arm, looked perfectly natural.

“Fuck. Thanks, Bill.” Jack led Kauri back outside, looking determined and heading straight for his apartment.

"Is he… is he going to tell?" Kauri whispered once they were outside. "H-how far is it to your place? Mr. Owen might hit the button again, I don't want to, to be obvious if he… if he asks me to come back again."

“Nah. Bill’s a good guy, pretty trustworthy. And he owes me some,” Jack shrugged. He snorted softly. “Couple buildings down this way, couple minutes’ walk. You mean when he electrocutes you for fun?”

“H-He doesn’t-” Kauri cut himself off, a look of uncertain worry on his face. “It’s not for fun. I wasn’t supposed to be able to leave him. He, he just… he just misses me, he doesn’t have any other way to say it.”

“Yeah. Sure he does.”

Kauri clutched the sweatshirt closer to his chest, pressing just a little against Jack, like he was reminding himself that Jack was right there, and this was real.

Jack looked to the side at him. Man, at least Cori had never been smart enough to make Reid think he wanted him or cared about keeping him - he just took Reid off the shelf to play with and put him back.

“I was supposed to be, um… I messed up but he didn’t get rid of me, he could have sent me for refurbishment but he didn’t, just r-repair, so… so he just wants me home. I just-... I just don’t want to go home, Jack. Home... he hurts me a lot, now.”

Refurbishment had Jack’s gut twisting. There were so many phantom pains when he thought about that place and Ruby. “So do what you want. Don’t go home,” he shrugged. “I mean, he can’t be exciting to go home to if he’s hurting you when you’re not around. Can’t imagine what he does when you are.”

Actually, he could. Very vividly.

Jack stopped by a building door and bent, took a pair of keys from out of his sock - the only keys he owned. He unlocked the door to the stairwell and led Kauri up. “Make sure that closes behind you. Don’t wanna get any bums hanging around.”

Kauri looked quickly back over his shoulder, as though there might be some of those bums already ready to leap through the second their backs were turned. He pulled the door shut firmly, listened for the loud click as it closed and locked.

Then he turned back, following Jack up quickly, hissing occasionally as it jostled what he was pretty sure was a bruised rib.

"Well, I wasn't supposed to leave. He was nice, b-before I, um, was… incorrect. Aberrant pet," he muttered to himself. "Incorrect mental process. He got mean b-because I, um, he thought I was… looking at another pet."

“Well, they usually start nice. Then there’s… something… and their real self comes out.” Jack looked back over his shoulder, brow raised. “Looking at another pet? What, like you liked another guy?”

"I don’t think we count as guys,” Kauri said, a little confused. “Besides, um, pets don't feel emotional connections. The only individual a pet can develop an emotional bond with is its owner or owners-... You probably learned that, too. S-sorry, it's automatic…"

“Oh...sure. Spent a day arguing with my handler on that one just cause I could,” Jack laughed a little and shrugged. “Emotional connections aren’t... well. Haven’t had many.”

After they were up the first flight, they walked down the hallway. Jack stopped at the third door on the right, tested the knob. All good. He unlocked it and stepped in. The moment he was in, he hung up his jacket in the small closet, beside a denim jacket and a brown leather instead of the black he’d worn tonight. Then he peeled off his crop top, back littered in scars.

Kauri swallowed, watching Jack, and when he pulled his shirt off Kauri’s eyebrows rose, just a little. It’s been days, some part of him piped up, insistent. Kauri shifted uneasily. Owen had stopped caring about whether or not Kauri felt good in bed since he’d come back home from repair, and things had been mostly painful - and now he’d been gone for five days and his body wasn’t used to that any longer…

“Deadbolt the door behind you, set your bag wherever. Your Roomba can do its thing if you want. Shoes off - the floor’s clean and I don’t wanna track dirt everywhere,” he added, going to one knee to untie his work boots. Under his left foot, in the sole of the boot, he pulled out several folded-up hundreds. He stuck those in his jean short pocket. “I’m gonna go stash this and get some clothes on.”

“Uh-huh,” Kauri said, distantly, still sort of thinking about Jack without his shirt on - the absence of a mark inside his left wrist, but also the rest of him, too - as he dropped the backpack to the floor, stepped out of the too-big slides, and let Keira out to sit on the ground. “Her, uh-” His voice cracked a little and he cleared his throat. “Her wheels are broken, she doesn’t… clean much now. That’s why he wanted to get rid of her. Um… can I… is there a place I can change, or, or out here, or…?”

Jack walked to his room - the kitchen and eating area, along with a comfortable loveseat and a tv, were all one space. The bathroom and bedroom were both small, separate rooms. “Yeah, bathroom, or out there. Wherever. I see bodies all the time, man, doesn’t bug me.”

Kauri nodded, and thought that if he weren't what he was, he would want to use the bathroom, for privacy.

But he was what he was, and so he peeled the sodden, bloody, ruined blue cashmere off of himself without hesitating further, dropping it with a wet thump into the trash can.

The little circles along his collarbone still glowed faintly, a soft pulsing light. All the new red spots that would blossom into bruises couldn't quite disguise the darker, older marks already there. All his suggestions that Owen didn't hurt him all that badly became an obvious lie when he could see the evidence left since he'd come back from repair.

Kauri had been controlled, but he had proven to Owen he could no longer be trusted, and life had been… worse, since he’d come home, and he could only lie about that as long as no one saw his skin.

He swallowed, peeling his pants off, too, shivering with damp skin in the chilly air as he dug through one of the grocery bags to pull the sweatpants out.

Just as he pulled out the simple black sweatpants, fire lit along his collarbone, racing out through his nerves.

Kauri crumpled naked back to the floor, muscles rigid. He curled into a ball, jamming his hand against the little circles, whining low in his throat at the pain.

Jack had pulled on a pair of thrifted slacks when he heard a soft noise. He paused, listening, and then decided he was imagining it and reached for a shirt.

Along Kauri’s collarbone, the line of metal suddenly turned a bright and brilliant glowing sky blue. “Ow, ow, hurts, h-hurts, ow ow ow-"

On the floor a few feet away the stationary Roomba began to call out in a loud mechanical voice HELP KAURI HELP KAURI HELP KAURI.

Jack was running back at the first cry of pain. The Roomba’s noise made things feel surreal - how could a robot asking for help not be? - but he made it quickly and dropped to his knees.

Jack hesitated, hand hovering over Kauri’s shoulder, worried the current would carry.

Kauri twisted around to look up at him, blue eyes wide and focused on something far beyond him, making a constant helpless low whine in his throat. He reached out to grab Jack's wrist, his fingers shaking, but he gripped on tight.

Jack startled at the quick grasp, but he let Kauri take him.

"P-push, on, on it, h-helps-" Kauri tried to bring Jack's hand over the line of metal. His voice shook with the electrical current, forced out between gritted teeth with a jaw that would barely move, tears standing in his eyes. "Push on th-them-... Ow, I'm, I'm sorry, Oh-Owen, I'm so sorry-"

The Roomba dropped the volume of its voice, but it did not stop repeating its plea.

“Fuck, Kauri, you don’t need to apologize to him,” Jack muttered as Kauri pushed his hand gradually more and more firmly onto the line of metal, brow furrowed with worry. “Fuck this guy.”

The metal was warm to the touch, warmer than Kauri's skin, but as he pushed on it Kauri's locked muscles started slowly to relax.

The pressure did something - Kauri didn't know what - did something to make it hurt less, and Kauri kept his grip on Jack's wrist, breathing hard, still making low hnnnh, hnnnh sounds, tears running from the corners of his eyes towards the ground.

Jack stared at him, teeth set, worry evident as he watched Kauri cry and listened to his pain.

"No, j-just… just a second, he u-usually d-d-doesn't-" There was a tense moment, Kauri's back arching. He gasped as the metal under Jack's hand went suddenly hot.

Finally, Kauri collapsed back onto the floor.

"F-fuck, h-hate when it does this ah, after," he stammered, limbs twitching and jerking with aftershocks. "S-sorry, sorry, d-didn't mean to…"

“When it does what after? When it heats up?” Jack winced but kept the pressure, glad that he’d stupidly snatched food out of a hot frying pan with his fingers often enough to numb the ends a bit. “What didn’t you mean to do, man?”

"A-all of it… t-to, to go, to… " Kauri's voice shook, riding out the way his muscles tried to lock up, until finally he could relax enough to control his own limbs again. "H-he, ah, I j-just, hnnh." He had to concentrate to let go of Jack's wrist, slowly unwinding his fingers, still twitching as he rolled onto his back, grateful for Jack's cool clean floor.

Jack moved slowly when Kauri let go of his wrist, still leaning over him. He gently wiped the tears away from Kauri’s temple with his fingers, then slowly sat back, cross-legged.

Kauri leaned into the touch automatically, without a second thought. His eyes closed, breathing hard, but at least Jack didn’t hurt. "Hnnnh, it's, um… h-hate my voice like this, like th-the Facility… th-think he's going to bed, turned it up for th-th-that… s-s-saying g-goodnight…"

Jack stared, baffled, and shook his head. “Saying what? I definitely don’t like this guy.”

“I d-don’t want to either,” Kaui said, almost dryly, and opened his eyes again to try on a shaky smile. “I’m s-sorry, this… probably isn’t how you pic-pictured a naked tw-twink on your kitchen floor.” His shaky smile widened, just a little. “H-hey, I made a j-j-joke.”

Jack grinned and shook his head, laughing. “Do you hear me com-... complaining?” he almost had to force the word out. Which was fine. He’d force whatever they stopped in him, like he’d forced reading, thinking, saying what he thought. “Oh no, how do I deal with the naked twink on my kitchen floor getting electroshocked? A helpless hot guy in my kitchen, how terrible for me. Seriously, though, we should find a way to get that thing out. Carefully. Fuck him and his goodnights.”

"D-d-doesn't come out. They put it in me at the, when I got repaired. Th-there's a video… ugh." Kauri pushed himself up a little, resting weight on his elbows. The skin around the metal circles was reddened and looked almost like a halo of sunburn, but the glow had gone back to the usual soft blue light.  

"S-sorry. I won't… I'll get m-moving tomorrow. Thank you f-for, um, for helping me.”

“Sure, man. You’re welcome to stay, but if you wanna leave tomorrow that’s your decision,” Jack shrugged. He was a bit disappointed, but that was his own to deal with.

Kauri blinked, surprised at the offer to keep staying, and then his eyes dropped back to Jack’s body, before going back up to his eyes. “Hey, c-can I… you said you were a Romantic but y-y-you're all marked up. Did your owner do that?"

Jack laughed awkwardly and rubbed the nape of his neck. “Uh...some of it. They weren’t allowed to shock me when they trained me. Special order bullshit. So they used drugs and pain. And then some of these are from my customers, but nothing major. I was never actually trained for Romantic besides the positions. Already knew what to do for sex. But I’m stubborn like a goat, so... she had her work cut out for her with my Domestics.”

Jack look pretty pleased about that. He was stubborn. They’d changed him, but he’d fought every bit of it… except when he hadn’t. He didn’t think about that. That was Reid, and Reid didn’t belong here.

"I used to be stubborn, too," Kauri said a little wistfully, sitting up fully as the ache finally subsided the rest of the way. "I think so, anyway. I had to be, if I ran away, right? Training's supposed to get rid of it."

Kauri glanced around, searching the floor with his hands, before he found the black sweatpants behind him. Apparently he'd been laying on them the whole time. When he went to pick them up, his fingers twitched and refused to quite close. "Just like the Facility," he muttered. "H-hey, is it okay if, if I need a second? To get dressed? My, my hands are always bad after discipline."

“Yeah, sure,” Jack reached for the pants and set them on Kauri’s lap. If he let his hand linger just a little longer than necessary, Kauri either didn’t notice or didn’t seem to mind. “Let me know if you need a hand. I’ll get the food going. What are you thinking? Pizza?”

Jack had already turned away when Kauri, looking down at the black pants in his lap and with his shoulders still twitching with the occasional mild aftershock, said softly, “Mostly I’m thinking that I’m r-really fucking lucky I met you tonight.”