#pls feel free to ask me to elaborate or ask more questions or whatever

[kell-eramis]

🔥talk some mad shit on taao

OOOH ok this is gonna take a while and i'm writing this in many places--on campus, after school, on the bus, so forgive me if anything doesn't make sense.

Topics: windblade, starscream, elita, combaticons, combiners, and bumblebee

Windblade:

Disclaimer, I *love* Windblade and I love what she represents (and this could be it’s own mini essay).

However, I don’t think M Scott had those ideas particularly in mind when writing Windblade. Retroactively knowing she intended Windblade and Starscream to have a r*ylo dynamic, paints both of them and their dynamic in a completely different light: Windblade is now no longer her own character, but a tool to redeem Starscream, and becomes a “blank slate or self insert” for this dynamic and purpose. As a result, she’s not really given the opportunity to grow from flaws, and she’s not really punished for mistakes (it’s moreso Starscream paying for her choice to have Optimus Prime reveal himself as the “true Prime” to Caminus, and this is almost always framed as Optimus being in the good and Starscream being in the wrong), it’s moreso that we’re told that Windblade is “tempted by Starscream’s ways/by power, but triumphs over this because she is Good, and is able to redeem Starscream in the process.” We also see others taking the fall for her mistakes, as Chromia takes the fall for the cover up—there is no repercussions on Windblade’s part in terms of trust of Cybertron. (This also serves to take Chromia out of the picture and focus on Windblade and Starscream over any potential chromeblade narratives that could (and did) arise).

I think if I were to fix this, I would look at how the war that affects everyone on Cybertron also affects her, one of the first Camien immigrants. Like… living in this new environment that is *so* traumatized, and you, yourself are traumatized too but in a completely different way. (And this is especially obvious in the first Windblade run, with both her and Chromia’s arcs.) Not the idea that Starscream/Cybertronian politics “corrupts” Windblade, but the idea that living in this environment that has barely started to heal will inevitably rub off on her—in both good and bad ways. And she, being someone on the outside coming in, can see how the factions are flawed and how everyone needs to come together to make Cybertron more of a home than it has ever been. I don’t know if I worded this completely right, but I hope I’m getting my point across.

Starscream:

OOOOH. I could go on and on for days on end. I think the way M Scott handled Starscream’s dysphoria is very transphobic and concluded in a way that’s like “if I were not dysphoric, I would not be evil.” That’s… not what dysphoria does. Starscream would be Starscream no matter if he were cold constructed or forged—maybe just with different problems. Nurture over nature and all that. Another problem I have is due to the established windblade and starscream dynamic, starscream is often portrayed as evil—often to the point of irrationality. While Starscream might not be the best leader, she’s smarter than sending badgeless after random cons and inciting further violence as a result. We get a lot of “tell and doesn’t show” with Starscream’s tactics (and Onslaught’s, as well), and while it would make sense for Starscream to be paranoid (hence the distrust of Windblade) and to try to prepare for a second coming of the war (even if she doesn’t realize that’s what he’s doing by amassing combiner and titan power), some of the actions Starscream takes are outright irrationally evil, just to put that dichotomy between her and Windblade and incite the redemption. Other characters become tools either to show how evil Starscream is (the Combaticons, Rattrap, etc) or to redeem Starscream (Windblade, Bumblebee). I could go on and on about this but I will end it here (for now).

Elita-One:

Again, a case of “tell and don’t show”. We’re told that she’s “another Megatron” but there’s nothing to back that up—why is she another Megatron? What has she done to imply that? She’s traumatized from being hypervigilant over being the one in charge of Carcer (wherein Vigilem and Liege Maximo are incarcerated), and that shows in how she interacts with Cybertron. I don’t think she’d be a good leader for Cybertron—for the same reason neither Bumblebee nor Starscream (nor Optimus or Megatron) could be the right leader for Cybertron. They’re too stuck in the war, though it is possible to move on from it with time and effort. I do think, however, that she’s not this grand villain that M Scott paints her out to be. God forbid women do anything.

The Combaticons:

I could also talk at length about them for days. I think that they have the issue of becoming a tool to show how evil Starscream is, rather than their own characters with their own arcs. Which is a shame, as I think all of their individual arcs and as a whole gestalt could be *so* interesting.

With Blast Off and Onslaught:

We see Onslaught being extremely stuck in the war--he *wants* it to come back because he *wants* that purpose--what does a tactician do when there's no battles to be a tactician for? And Blast Off, who loves Onslaught (and his group), wants peace. Wants rest. Wants that peace and rest for Onslaught most of all. TAAO contextualizes what Blast Off does as a *selfish* thing—he does what he does because he wants that relationship. But that’s *not* what it is. She does what she does because she wants to see Onslaught heal from the war. He (as well as Starscream) knows this can’t happen unless Onslaught is given something new to obsess over—without that something, he’ll go back to the war and vengeance. So Blast Off, in a way, offers herself to be that. This isn’t selfish, in my opinion, because he knows that the relationship is doomed if she does that. Onslaught will find out, and when that happens, any possibility of a relationship will cease to be. It’s a sacrifice Blast Off makes to save Onslaught and the other Combaticons.

Brawl:

Now, I love the part where Brawl goes to Windblade and says he can’t have the war come back. He goes behind Onslaught’s and Starscream’s backs to do so. However, I wish this transition was shown more. He willingly chose to go with Galvatron and continue the war. He’s with Onslaught and Vortex when they want to make Cybertron burn. What changes? He says it’s “feeling what it’s like to die”, but beyond a few moments in Issue #4 and the annual, we don’t *see* this. No feelings of uncertainty at post war or relief when it comes to just staying Starscream’s bodyguard, just a comic relief along with Vortex.

Vortex:

Which brings me to Vortex. He’s reduced to a comic relief character. However, we know he’s an interrogator. I think we should have seen him interrogating bots for information on Swindle, searching it out. And then I think we should have also seen the ramifications of such a violent combination on him, too. (Though that could be said about all the Combaticons).

Swindle:

And that brings me to Swindle. I think Swindle, (and I also think Bumblebee should, too, but that’s a different argument) should be more present in the narrative even when she’s dead. While this is arguably present in the first arc, she’s moreso used as a catalyst for Onslaught’s grudge with Starscream turning into something more, but I think he’s used moreso as an excuse for why Onslaught’s doing all this more than an actual reason. Then Swindle is brought back in an *incredibly* traumatic and violent way. What does this mean for how she feels about the new Cybertron? How the gestalt and combination intimately affects her in ways it doesn’t affect the others? How this —frankly, violation— of her mind and memories for Onslaught’s purposes affects her and his relationship with the other Combaticons? Ooooh the things I wish TAAO went more in depth about. Then, there’s also the fact that he had helped Windblade. How does this affect the relationship between them, especially now that Chromia’s gone? How does this affect Swindle’s relationship with Blurr???

Combiners in general:

This is a problem I have with phase 2 in general, but I wish combiners were used more. They’re A Thing now that the enigma of combination is a prominent artifact. But they’re only really seen as temporary threats. We don’t go into the reason why Starscream wants one, and when that reason fulfills itself, they’re NOT used. We could have used combiners in Titan’s Return, for example!!!

I also think that IDW writers in general don’t really know what they might symbolize. Are they abject? Are they holy? Unholy? A monstrosity or a beauty?

If I was writing a continuity, I would look at combiners as the closest one could go to “being one in the allspark” without being dead. I could go into Augustinian philosophy and theology here, but I won’t (for now). However, they change the members of the gestalt in irreversible and abject ways! They blend together with the other members—they are no longer inherently individual. They are bound to each other.

Bumblebee:

Same as Swindle, really. I wish he was more present in the narrative as haunting it. Their death is the catalyst for many things and adds to others. However, M Scott only really uses Bumblebee as a passive advisor for Starscream. I think TAAO and starbee could be a significantly more impactful narrative if Bumblebee’s ideology and perceptions of things such as factions and power also moved in a way that was more towards Starscream’s perspective, rather than just Starscream becoming more “good”. It would also give us a chance to actually highlight the flaws of the autobot faction without being like “optimus is shitty, prowl is shitty, the primes were shitty, insert cartoonishly evil villains that happen to also be autobots to show how flawed they are”.

Okay, I’m finished. This was not at all all of my opinions and ideas but with a topic as broad as all of TAAO, how could I choose?

[simpxxstan]

favourite (teaser)

pairing: boss!wonwoo x model!mingyu x f.reader

genre: smut, slowburn, poly!relationship

summary: after being happily single for years, when you develop a crush, you don't know what to do. you think your closest friend (with benefits) can take your mind off things. but when you ask for his help, you certainly didn't imagine this kind of help from him.

final word count: tbd

teaser word count: 600 words

rating: NSFW 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT PLEASE!!!

teaser warning: reference to sex with sub male, mention of jealousy, slight sugar daddy wonwoo, asymmetric power dynamics, the entire teaser is suggestive in line with the story itself. wonwoo and mingyu are both depicted to be bisexual in this fanfiction, it does not imply anything with regards to real life as this is just a work of fiction.

a/n: i swear my hormones made me write this. but i can't say i regret it- boss wonwoo will be the death of me. final fic will be nearly 10k words, if not slightly more. pls let me know your thoughts, i'll be waiting <3

release date: out now!

Because you have some time until your company’s jet is scheduled to depart, so you’re roaming through the duty-free stores. You’re walking out of a chocolate store when you notice Mingyu’s life-sized poster, modelling for Calvin Klein.

You smile and grab your phone to take a quick photo, before admiring the advertisement. It must be a recent shoot, because his hair is cropped short like you noticed when he last came over. His muscles look well defined in the photograph, where he’s posing shirtless with a single black tie tied loosely to his neck, and black jeans hung low on his lips. There’s a wildly sensual look in his eyes, as if begging to be taken as you pleased, and it makes you smirk. Now you have something more to tease him for, when you meet him the next time. 

“Pretty, isn’t he?” You haven’t realised when Wonwoo’s sidled up to your side, and you notice a Bulgari bag in his hands. So that’s where he’s been shopping while you were busy browsing through chocolates. Wonwoo’s eyes are fixed on the poster in front of you, an appreciative glint in his eyes. 

“Pretty indeed. For as long as I remember him.” 

Wonwoo turns to look at you, his eyebrow raised. “Are you a fan? Or a friend?” “The latter. Mingyu and I have been friends since high school.” “How interesting.” Eager to impress him, you elaborate, “I was the one who pushed him to get into modelling. Couldn’t have let looks like that slip, could I?” Wonwoo chuckles. “Indeed not. I’m sure many must thank you, including myself.” 

Wonwoo takes out a small box from the bag he’s carrying. Opening the box, you see there’s a bracelet inside. Set with at least sixty 24 carat diamonds. It makes your mouth water and your eyes shine, and you cannot help but envy his boyfriend, if he’s the one on the receiving end of such gifts. “What do you think?

You wonder if it’s too personal a question, but you’re also sure a lot of lines between professional and personal have gotten blurred over this trip. So you bravely ask him, “Is that for your boyfriend?” 

Wonwoo doesn’t show any sign of displeasure, if he feels it. His eyes still focused on Mingyu’s poster on the glowing display in front of you, he says, “Hmm. Do you think it’ll suit him?” 

Your throat goes dry. If he’s bought it for his boyfriend, why are his eyes fixed on Mingyu? But you don’t think about it. Mingyu’s looks are, after all, captivating. 

“I’m sure it will. He’s very lucky to be receiving such a pretty gift. He must be really precious to you.” You laugh lightly, trying to hide the bile of jealousy rising in your throat. 

Wonwoo puts away the gift. “He is, of course.” His eyes now shift to yours. “Any favourite of mine is bound to be the most precious to me. And worthy of the prettiest of gifts, whatever they want.” 

You fight the blush creeping into your cheeks, trying to stop your heart from racing on. This is ridiculous. Why on earth are you getting into your feels when he’s clearly thinking and talking about his lover? God, Y/N, get a grip on yourself. He’s not yours, and by the look of love and yearning on his face, he never will be. 

It’s his voice that breaks you out of your trance. “Miss Y/L/N? The jet’s arrived. Don’t wanna miss it, do we?” You can’t help but nod dumbly and walk behind him to keep pace.

[tteokdoroki]

Wow vampire bllk has me feeling some type of way.... can you elaborate more on it, with any character(s)?

૮ ͈>◡< ͈ა warnings — please read + mdni ! characters aged up to 20s, suggestive, vampires, descriptions of blood, blood drinking, stockholm syndrome, manipulation, dub-con-ish, slight!yandere (just in case), vampire!isagi, gn!reader — not beta read !

⭑ notes — i hope it’s okay that i used isagi for this… he consumes my brain fully !!! pls feel free to ask me about the others !!

vampire!isagi is probably the ring leader of their anicent little hoard. though some of the other members like rin and shidou hardly ever listen to them — he has the most influence over the decisions they make as a pack as well. he takes anyone in, whether he turned them himself or he was giving them a better chance and a new way of life with the changing times as a vampire. isagi is basically the sire of most of the blue lock boys, most of the time they follow his lead.

since vampire!isagi is the one who found you, he’s definitely most possessive and protective of you for sure. after all, he’s was human once before — he understands why you screamed, why you cried and begged for him to go home the first time you came to the manor. you were scared. he knows that  emotion better than anyone. 

if vampire!isagi were to subject you to the hungry mouths of his peers now, there’s no way you’d make it through the first night — let alone the ones after. his vampires are bloodthirsty creatures, they could drain an entire town at their own will… if he let them. besides, you’re too pretty to be torn apart, even when your eyes are big and watery and pleading. you can’t die just yet. not when he’s so fond of the way you tearily say his name. 

he has a lot of choices to make. weighing up all the possible options — he can’t let you go. otherwise they’ll starve and he can’t keep you here without making you want to be here. vampire!isagi has to make you understand just how important you are to them. to him. 

maybe it’s a little manipulative of him to keep you locked up in one of the rooms on his floor — promising you protection whenever he visits you with food and company. isagi let’s you curl up against him even though he’s dead cold, rubs soothing circles into your back when you let him get close and charms his way into making you trust him. his eyes stay blue and deep and oddly safe while you ask him questions about what it’s like to be part of the undead. to be a vampire. 

“is it true, that you can’t go out in the sunlight?” you ask him on one of his visits to your prison quarters, perched on isagi’s lap— craving human contact even though he’s far from it. “does it hurt?”

“far from it,” the dark-haired vampire coos, taking your wrist in his hand as he fights back the urge to sink his fangs into it and drink you dry. he’s had centuries to practise his patience, but something about the scent of you and your blood makes his fangs ache with need. vampire!isagi noses up your arm, let’s his supple lips brush against the warmth of your flesh before he looks at you with a devilish smile. “we’ve adapted to walk amongst man-kind. you wouldn’t even know i was a vampire, had i not told you. precious. i can go anywhere i please.” 

“oh…i see,” you’re so cute when you’re solem, your face falls into a pout when you’re reminded of who you really are and what isagi really is and how you’re nothing but a hunk of meat to him. it’s as if you’re his pretty little songbird trapped in a cage and he wants nothing but to devour you.

vampire!isagi cocks his head to the side as if he doesn’t know what he’s cost you. sacrificing you like a lamp to keep his clan of vampires alive, throwing away whatever life you had before. “you can come outside with me, if you behave—“ he speaks and you perk up like a pet being rewarded. you want a taste of freedom. “you still have to meet the others. be nice to them like you are for me.” 

“but…i don’t want to meet the others.” 

“then i’m afraid you can’t come outside with me—“ 

“n-no! it’s okay, i’ll do whatever you want yoichi. i just…please take me with you next time…” 

it is most definitely manipulative, what vampire!isagi has done to you in the weeks that he’s had you in his clutches. but it earns your trust, it makes you happy enough to comply with his wishes. to make you the perfect little blood bank and mould you into what’s right for him and the others.

your final test is when vampire!isagi pushes himself off the edge of insanity, to the point of ultimate hunger where he feels as if his insides might curl in on themselves and he really might just die. if it were possible. all in the name of making sure you’re willing enough to walk the line of death in order to keep himself and his fellow vampires sedated — stopping them from killing others who might not be so fortunate as you. you pick up on it instantly, how weak and pale (even more so) he looks when he visits your room at his usual time. and you’re so scared, because you know exactly what yoichi needs as he weakly takes you into his lap like he always does.  

“blood,” you choke out. “you need blood.” you don’t even know why you’re crying for him. a monster who had ripped you away from your friends, school and family. he’d taken everything from you and now you were going to let him have more. “drink from me, yoichi. it’s okay…i-i know you need it. please, take it.” you feel him pulse with life (again, if that were even possible) as you tilt your head back and expose the expanse of your neck — the way your throat bobs and your pulse races because you’re afraid of who and what you might be subjected to if you lose isagi. “take from me.” 

and that’s all vampire!isagi needs to hear before he’s latching onto the junction between your neck and shoulders, the sharp edge of his fangs puncturing your skin as he milks your veins, takes your life force. his calloused hands run up the expanse of your back, tying you down to him, to his clan for an eternity. you taste like heaven to him. feel like a sun against him — whimpering and whining from both pain and pleasure in his lap. he sucks on you happily, red swirling with the cerulean in his eyes while his instincts take over and he feeds on you like his life depends on it.

but then when he looks up, his blood smeared across his bruising lips — vampire!isagi sees tears and feels guilt. you’re crying because your human decency was all you had left, and now you’re nothing but the shell of a person you once more. you’re his. nothing but a doggy bag of blood to vampires that can no longer hunt or kill. you’ve given up fighting for freedom, for the life that you actually have and deep down isagi knows he’ll have to find some way to fix that.

to make this arrangement better.

but for now vampire!isagi can’t help but feel a little bit horrible, however. knowing what it’s like to leave a human life behind and never look back — to have loved and lost innocence. he decides then and there, that after his crimes he won’t take any more from you until he absolutely has to. he doesn’t want to hurt you anymore, but instead preserve what’s left of his precious human.

[social-muffin]

🔥New Khr OC Questions🔥

💞Anyone welcome to participate! 💞

People really enjoyed themselves with the last list of questions I made! So I made an even bigger one!! So much so, I don't really expect anyone to answer all these questions. Just pick and choose whatever you want to answer if it's too much lmao

‼️This is not just for OCs! If you feels you've modified one of the canon characters so much that they're a whole different person now, tell me about them as well please!‼️

I will also tag a bunch of people whomst OCs I really enjoyed and remembered from the last list of questions! There will be some repeat questions here, so you can elaborate if you wanna or just skip those lmao

Tags under the Cut cause I will also give a lil commentary on the OCs I know so far. :3

‼️Also these Questions are mostly spoiler free so don't worry! Only one question asks about something that's introduced after the Varia Arc I think. I put a 🌸 next to that one.‼️

@juudaimes-true-form Amara & Ricardo were both very fun and I like knowing about them! But l Alexandros is a very good vibe I wanna know the him uwu

@einsatzzz Kana, Kurumi & Yui are Hella intriguing! Do pls elaborate on all of them! Particularly Yui has spiked my interest! Did you finish that art of him you were working on?

@heryemily5927 Hanabi is adorable please tell me more if you feel up to it! :D

@kiralushia Nozomi & Cloud! I would like to see both of them for this! But I also wanna know more about Arashi because she gets mentioned often too :3

@acedragontrainer Ayane & Yuki may have been randomly created but they are so gawddang fun! Please give them backstories with the questions here. If you wanna of course ^^

@masterdisastre Xavier is babiest Boi, but what about Dani!? And also pls tell me of any other OC you wanna talk about!! I'll treasure each and every single one of them! :D

@cloudspark You reblogged the old Questions once wondering if you'll find the time and motivation to introduce your OC, so I will tag you here too since there are more questions here. :3

@ciaossn Amalia is best lady pls tell me more even if her true origin story has been tragically lost ;w; I wish to know her as much as possible!

The Basics:

What's their name? Their pronouns? Sexuality? Gender Identity? Their Age and Ethnicity?

What do they look like? Body type? Identifying characteristic? Art or picrew of your oc? (No AI art pls.)

Why did you create this character? Just for fun? Or is there a purpose behind them? Maybe a canon character you created them for? As a friend, love interest, sibling, child, parent, rival, nemesis?

What's the family situation of your OC? If they have family, how about a brief summary of the relationships of their family to the canon characters?

What are their other notable relationships to Canon characters? (Example: Hibari's little brother also happens to be Tsuna's childhood best friend and Gokudera's love interest) If there are none right now, are there any plans for relationships in the future?

Does your Oc have disabilities? Mental illnesses, neurodivergencies, missing limbs, chronic pains, physical limitations, some kind of food sensitivity? Anything that affects their day to day life goes!

Combat Questions:

What are your OC's flames, if they have any? And how do they use their flames? Do they ever use them outside combat?

How do they prefer to fight? Do they know how to fight in a way they dislike or hate? (Example: Hibari prefers hand-to-hand combat and dislikes firearms, but he knows how to shoot someone if he has no choice)

Do they have formal training? How many fighting styles do they know? What weapons can they wield?

What are their strengths? Their weaknesses?

🌸Do they have a flame weapon, or a box weapon/animal? How did they get these weapons? What level ring (best S>A>B>C>D>worst E) do they wield? Can they use their ring efficiently? If no, why not?🌸

Oh no! Your OC is unable to fight! (Too tired, injured, whatever) How do they deal with the enemy now? Do they flee, still try to fight, call for backup, or what do they do?

Philosophical Questions:

Answer this first before reading/thinking further! Would your OC change anything about themselves if they could?

What's their favourite colours? Their favourite season? Their favourite weather? Their favourite animal?

What are their hobbies? What are they passionate about? Is there a passion they had to give up? If so, why?

What kind of people do they dislike? Do they like who they themselves are?

What is their biggest secret? What's the biggest/worst lie they ever told? What lie do they frequently tell themselves?

What's their darkest desire? What's their biggest hope for the future? If they had the money, how would they want to change the world they live in?

If the world ended tomorrow, how would they spend their last day on earth? Who would they want to be with? Their worst fear stands between them and saving the world, would they be able to overcome that fear to save the world?

What would be their civilain dream job? If they had to kill someone innocent to save a friend, would they be able to do it? How long would their choice haunt them? Would they be able to face their friend if they decided to sacrifice them, but things ended up working out?

Your OCs biggest, wildest dreams all just came true! What do they do next? Who do they celebrate with? How do they celebrate? Loud exhilaration or quiet disbelief?

After these questions, I ask again, what would your OC change about themselves if they could? Did the answer change?

Khr Character Questions! [Or 'I am putting the OCs in ✨situations✨']

Vongola:

Sawada Tsunayoshi burst into flames, flew into the sky and took out a missile that was headed towards the area your Oc was in. How do they go about interacting with Tsuna after that?

Gokudera Hayato dragged your OC to an empty classroom to investigate ghosts, but it turns out it was just teenagers. Hayato seems genuinely disheartened, does your Oc want to comfort him?

Sasagawa Ryohei just pulled your Oc away from oncoming traffic! He proceeds to ask them to join the boxing club! How do they go about rejecting him, given that he just saved their life?

Bovino Lambo just send your Oc ten years into the future! What situation did your Oc end up in? What's their reaction to this future?

Yamamoto Takeshi is sitting by himself, holding a baseball and looking oddly melancholic. Your OC does not know what is going on, except that usually Takeshi is a cheerful guy. Do they approach him? What do they say?

Hibari Kyoya comes across your Oc with a bleeding wound at his side. He is most obviously unwell, but also pissed, how does your Oc approach this situation?

Chrome Dokuro knows what your Oc did and it feels like she is judging them for their dirty secrets. How does your Oc try to buy her silence?

Rokudo Mukuro wandered into the dream your Oc had last night! Does he leave with even more trauma, creepily amused, weirdly charmed or thoroughly bored?

Fuuta DeLa Stella fianlly ranked your Oc first in something! What category did he rank them first in? What is your OC's reaction?

I-pin just blew up and then landed gently in the arms of your Oc. How do they react to this literal pipe bomb baby?

Sasagawa Kyoko handed your Oc Valentine's friendship chocolates and thanked them for looking after her brother! This might be a misunderstanding, but these are also the only/first chocolates your Oc was given, so what do they tell her?

Miura Haru made your Oc their dream outfit! But something significant about it is wrong, how does your Oc give critique on that?

Kurokawa Hana just called your Oc a monkey to their face. How ready, if at all, are they to throw hands with this civilain middle/high-school girl?

Arcobaleno:

Fon wants to share spicy curry with your Oc, but the spoon is glowing red hot. Does your Oc risk it?

Reborn shot someone infront of your Oc. Tsuna won't believe them. What will they do now?

Verde wants to study your Oc so he asks if they'd volunteer for science. No money is involved but they do get to hang out with Verde, do they take the offer?

Lal Mirch has taken over the CEDEF and there is a party that your OC somehow ended up invited to! Do they bring Lal a gift? If so, what kinda gift?

Colonnello got drunk from sipping some wine, he is sad, melancholic and heavily armed. How does your Oc handle the situation?

Skull thinks you're really cute and creative! He wants to know how you came up with your Oc? And your favourite scene of your Oc!

Viper just gave your OC a slice of pizza. Will they eat it? Are they aware of the risks? Are there risks?

Varia:

Xanxus meets your Oc at a bar and tells them to get him a drink. What does your Oc do? If they make an order, what would they order for Xanxus?

Belphegor is staring at your OC from a distance and chuckling maniacally. What wardrobe malfunction did he notice on your OC?

Lussuria slings his feather scarf around your Oc and tells them they're a cutie. How does your Oc respond to the sudden flirting and closeness? Do they know Lussuria is powerful as well as queer?

Levi-a-Than just told your Oc that they'd be so pretty if they put a bit more effort into their look. How does your Oc react?

Superbi Squalo yells so loud it's almost bothering your Oc! How do they tell him to quiet down? How long do they last in the every-man-for-himself Varia-style brawl that comes next?

Mammon is wanting to extort your Oc for money. What blackmail material does Mammon have to do so? (What is an embarrassing thing your Oc did that Mammon could reasonably find out about?)

Fran is getting on your OC's nerves, constantly and seemingly very much on purpose. Everyone else is already using that boy as target practice, so does your Oc join in?

Others:

Dino Cavallone compares your OC to Tsuna. Is your Oc insulted by the comparison? What if it was accurate?

Dino's right hand man Romario invites your character out for a drink! What drink do they order to impress, intimidate, or endear themselves to the Cavallone Familia? Or do they reject the invite entirely?

Hibari's right hand man Kusakabe Tetsuya thinks your Oc is too noisy and tells them to shut up if they don't want to get bitten to death. Does your Oc take that as a challenge? Hibari Kyoya does not seem to be nearby in the first place... (He is watching from a nearby roof)

Something got past the safety on your OC's garbage cans and made a massive mess! Ken stands as the main, but not the only suspect. Does your Oc make that accusation? Do they worry they would offend Ken for accusing him of that, just for having more animalistic behaviours?

Chikusa's yoyo just flipped off it's string and bonked your Oc on the head. He acts apologetic, but your Oc has a feeling he did that on purpose. How does your Oc proceed?

The Last Question!!

Please gimme links as to where people can find stories or art about your OCs!

Thank you for reading and answering if you do! :D

[myopicry]

Me againnn what a surpriissseee... I just have a lot of fun reading rambles about things I'm interested in lol, I haven't thought of perspectives like yours so it's super informative to read for me, especially considering that I've been rethinking a lot of things lately. Anyway, prompt of the day !! You mentioned in your last post something among the lines of "not believing in an lgbtq community"? Could you tell me more about that pls? I'm quite surprised considering the history of LGBT people and different cultures we have (such as lesbian culture, or whatever you want to call it lol). ~🪼

always happy to have you here!!

I swear when I start writing these I think it'll be a paragraph or two and then. well. you'll see. keep reading breaks my beloved you keep my blog a tolerable scroll...

[mandatory preface because I like keeping the peace lol] now honestly, this take mostly might be more of a personal opinion/observation moreso than a generally applicable argument or anything, I don't really care how "agreed upon" the take is and I don't think by any means my silly tumblr blog opinion on how communities exist really matters to those communities themselves lmao. plus, I think I believe this mostly due to my exposure to how lgbtq or "queer" community things manifest in people of my age (early/mid gen z) as well as how it interacts with some of my more anti-consumerist stances, so it might not even apply to a lot of people who have a different mindset than me. I mean, I'll still defend my opinion if someone asks, but I don't need anyone to agree with me if they don't want to.

[oh and a bonus semantic distinction! fun!] when I say lgbtq+, lgbtq, or queer community, it is specifically referring to the modern day, mainstream one that labels itself with these terms as such now, I don't equate it with historical lgbt movements, groups, or lgbt people in groups in general in the past. I also don't equate it with the individual communities that are literally a part of the acronym lgbt, like lesbians or gay men or bisexuals or the trans community, and their specific unique cultures and histories. I try and use lgbt when referring to that, but it's probably not really clear to people who don't literally share my brain lol. I basically consider me using lgbtq as interchangeable with "queer", I personally just don't prefer to use the word queer too much because I respect that a lot of people still consider it a slur, and though I guess I have "the pass" to say it or whatever, I don't like the term anyway (you probably get how I feel about general open-ended definitions at this point lmaoo), but a lot of people in the specific demographic I'm talking about use it as identification so it also helps to summarize who I actually mean. dunno if this is a necessary precursor I just realized halfway through that even though I elaborate on this distinction in what I wrote this might be a good just general heads-up on what I'm working with in my brain as I write! if it's still unclear feel free to ask further!

--- actual answer to the question now lmao ---

obviously, general lgbt solidarity and activism has had very important effects, and individual communities and their cultures. and for the most part what people would consider the collective lgbt community has at least historically helped with visibility and activism to normalize gender non-conformity, and promote visibility and acceptance of sexual minorities. that's all super rad and very cool!

however, at least from what I notice now that lgbt acceptance has become mainstream, a lot of the most important activism has been secured has gotten to a relatively stable point in the western world. (well, in the US, I guess it's actually not as stable since it might depend on who the president ends up being and how dumb our supreme court decides to be lmao) and the lgbtq community has become more and more of a cultural movement than a political movement (which is again, good! people's sexuality shouldn't be inherently political). but, with this emphasis on culture vs. activism within the community combined with the reliance young people have on social media and the growing culture of consumerism in the west, the "lgbtq community" becomes this sort of forced consumer demographic and personal aesthetic rather than an actual community focused on bonding over shared experiences and collaboration to further shared goals.

besides, at least how I see it and how I've experienced being a part of the "community", outside of being same-sex attracted and the impact that has on life, even gay men and lesbians don't share much culture or experience outside of being closeted and coming out (which are experiences that already will vary anyway based on other factors such as ethnic background or social class). when you add in transgender with the t, or other newer labels with the q, or even more things with a +, there becomes even less overlap that would necessitate a community to form.

yet a community has formed, you might say! yes, but from my experience, it's formed mostly around artificially produced trends and now--increasingly--social media and branding. in my opinion, this is not only just a weak start for community building, but also it sucks and makes even real social interactions and gathering feel hollow. this is something I had to think about a lot when I found lgbtq+ communities in real life seeking, well, community, but actually found very little in common with most people that I supposedly shared community with. now, I could say this issue might just be that I suck at identifying myself and couldn't find my real community! and straight up didn't even acknowledge my actual experiences and feelings at time! which is true, but I would still need to realize that as a naive teenager I wasn't able to understand my actual sexuality or anything because the community that was supposed to help was either too general or too focused on outward manufactured culture rather than material experiences or realities, and that the mainstream lgbtq community's conception of what the specific communities within it were also following that trend. when I was bi-curious, the community I could find told me bisexuality was clear phone cases, cuffed jeans, and having a golden retriever boyfriend to wear pride merch with. when I was identifying as aroace, I found discussion of cartoon characters and flimsy metaphors. when I was trans--okay that one is a bit more complicated because I was basically almost a transmedicalist at points lol but within the more mainstream trans community with non-binary stuff--it was about passing and fashion and surgery (which in some cases, is quite consumerist) and the feelings/vibes. and always, in every real life lgbtq community I could find, it was like this, plus mostly discussions about celebrity culture, the same dozen or so popular community memes at the time, and probably fandom. and at that point too, there wasn't really a discussion on being closeted and dealing with that, as (again, positively) acceptance is more widespread, but also because with social media, it almost became an extra little "self-branding" point to share online.

are many of these personal problems? yeah! I don't care that much (anymore) about clothing trends and buying accessories or even how others perceive me, and I try to not be as "online" (it's a process :p obviously I am still very online...to my own detriment). I did find more of what I wanted to from communities, but it was always the specific separate ones (like the lesbian community, which definitely has a unique culture and history isolated from the mainstream lgbt ones) and usually it was from reddit (which sucks for so many reason still so that wasn't ideal) or old forums that were long dead because people my age do not use forums lmao. however, I think acknowledging the trend of lgbt community basically being a consumer focused demographic more so than an actual community is important as trends of consumerism become more and more hostile to the environment, to labor rights across the world, and just to critical thinking.

additionally, I think continuously propping up the lgbtq+ community as a monolithic community of shared culture and voices rather than what historically was a community of solidarity for activism and civil rights born out of necessity, creates a false dichotomy of "straight" and "not straight", with straight people being seen more and more as "uncool" due to the social media landscape promoting hyper-individualism. this not only alienates people outside of the community and gives people already homophobic more causes to generalize people unlike them negatively, and also promotes people who want to be differentiated from that negative "straight" identity to find a way in to the community. which again, by itself who cares, I'm not policing what people want to identify as, but that also dilutes the commonalities of the lgbt community even further and allows for even more of the absence of real community tenets to be filled with consumerism.

and look, maybe people just want to have fun and they want to be catered to with fun products and events and parties and that's their right, even if I disagree! but I can't really bring myself to understand it as what a community actually is/ideally should be: a group of people with something in common enriching each other and forming social bonds around that commonality. for a bit of a comparison, it gives me the vibe of a modern push to have things like AAPI or BIPOC or labels for communities like that, where the point is to outline your identity for brandable purposes more than it is to connect with others with shared identity (because, spoiler, most groups pushed together into these communities have very little in common!). I guess you could make a differentiation here that genuinely helpful community is based on people, where as communities that lack in actual community are based on labels. something like that. there's probably a lot more nuance I could explore with this including how "american" this whole kind of label-based community is but that seems like an actual thesis and unfortunately doing real research is a bit above my pay-grade on this blog :p

all that rambling to basically say: I don't think the lgbtq+ community has that much in common amongst itself and the variety of specific groups clumped within it anymore (outside of being affected by the same bigotry which if you really think about it also isn't necessarily true but that's like so many more words and so much more discourse lol and my brain is running out of steam). so, it kind of makes for a subpar actual "community" in my eyes. it's nice to have other queer-identified friends at times, yeah! actually being able to openly talk about being attracted to women with others for one, is really great especially in a misogynistic society that demonizes female sexuality especially when it doesn't involve men. but, what does it help me, or any other young lgbt person, to go to so-called community events and just be sold things or told to buy things based on a label that I honestly only assign to my self because it's definitionally important for me, not because "I feel the vibes". or told to look a certain way because it's cool and that's what my identity really means, how I look to others? what am I, a walking bundle of tags labeled for advertisers so I can be sold the exact thing that appeals to me because I'm gay? if I think too much about it it gets dystopian lmao and I get a lot of people in my generation don't think about it at all, or choose not to care. for some reason or another though, I care a lot. oh well!

as always, pick any random offshoot comment I said and I could probably write you ten more paragraphs lolol, but I'm happy to do it! this one especially, it's based on so much anecdotal experience that if anyone wants more examples, I can absolutely do my best to provide !! (I have too much free time and this beats my bad habit of laying catatonic phone scroll time)

realizing now also that I do have some thoughts about lgb seperatism that relate to this but it's a bit late to rework this train of thought, I'll just say I can definitely understand that sentiment, but I have yet to lurk enough in actual explicitly lgb communities so I can't speak clearly about it. interesting stuff though.

also also I actually remembered there might have been a point to be made further about how the modern lgbtq community might have historical roots but historical revisionism and misinformation is so common for the up and coming waves of the community (young people do learn facts from tiktok yeahhhh unfortunate) diminish the actual culture from the past anyway, but I forgot to mention it above and it would've been another two paragraphs or something and that one might actually be good to have more sources to supplement, so...I'll file it for later!

really, this is a personal exercise for me more than it feels like a response to someone, and despite that people still take the time to prompt me anyway lmao. all people hitting up my inbox in good faith you're awesome and great and other nice adjectives!

and jellyfish anon I hope you have a delightful day after reading this (or in between reading this, it might be long enough to deserve an intermission tbh lol) !! thank you again !! happy thinking and whatnot!!

[mithliya]

Never mind the question if you don't wanna answer it but can i ask what ultimately helped you get better psychologically wise? Like a certain kind of therapy or a though process you adopted that made it easier? Elaborate as much as you like

sure, i’m quite open about this and if anyone wants to learn more about that pls feel free to ask me. :) so my therapy history is quite… extensive to say the least. in bahrain, i saw a male psychiatrist who i couldn’t even talk to myself (i was too scared) & so my mom told him my story like im a rape victim etc and he immediately prescribed me with cipralex & seroquel within the first session in one hour. despite hearing all about my trauma he simply diagnosed me with major depression or sth. anyways, i didn’t go to him again and after my mom found out i got stitches, she asked my uncle who’s a doctor and he connected us to a female psychiatrist in one of the main public hospitals in bahrain. she immediately diagnosed me with BPD & PTSD and referred me to the children’s psychiatric ward in bahrain (there’s only one in the country & it’s garbage. the criminally insane and just deeply mentally ill are both hospitalised there). the women who evaluated me also diagnosed me with the same stuff but were fixated on the BPD. at this point i must’ve been no older than 15. perhaps still 14 even but i think i was 15. one of the women who evaluated me became my therapist & i saw her for an hour per week for like a year. she would try to point things out to me and make me aware of my situation, she knew all about it and i started to open up to her more which was hard on me (before seeing her individually, my mom basically talked on my behalf to all the therapists bc i couldn’t say what happened to me out loud). i think she tried her best but our therapists are just not good at all honestly. she even would criticise my parents for how negligent they were etc. it was not any particular type of therapy besides like.. just regular talking therapy. i think her goal was to make me somewhat self-aware bc i completely lacked any self-awareness in terms of my feelings & situation etc.

after that my mom took us to the US bc there was no improvement in my situation. i was still 15 but nearing 16 at this point. at that point i was still on cipralex & seroquel, 50mg each i think. my mom basically took me to one of the big name hospitals near northern virginia and they had this very extensive evaluation where they’d ask family history etc. they said i show the symptoms of BPD but that they don’t like diagnosing kids with personality disorders so they diagnosed me with like 500 things instead. i thought it was kinda dumb but whatever. the therapy they decided i needed was CBT. i did. CBT for 6 months and they saw progress in me. the next therapy in line was some sort of trauma therapy, i’m not sure its exact name but i can describe it for u n maybe you’ll know. i never finished it tho ftr. it was basically split into three parts: life before the trauma, life after the trauma, and then the trauma itself. i only got through 2 weeks of it and barely started the life after the trauma section of the therapy. it was too much for me and i stopped going bc of it, my mom didn’t mind that bc they were ripping us off majorly (making us pay for a translator we didn’t need nor see) and she was running out of money at that point.

soon after i overdosed again & my mom found me & called the ambulance. i was taken to the emergency room, fed charcoal and they put this tube up my nose bc i threw up the charcoal etc it was a very traumatic experience honestly esp when they forcefully put some thingy up my urethra bc they needed to evaluate my pee. anyways i was taken from there to some hospital where i was placed on 42 hour suicide watch. the doctor there said i needed to be placed in a psych ward so i was put in a children’s inpatient ward more south of virginia. i was there like 2 weeks? and they basically had all kinds of therapy in there 24/7. i was considered high risk so i wasnt allowed the privacy a lot of my ward had. anyways we had a little school in there and we’d basically have art therapy, group therapy, therapy for addiction, individual therapy, psychiatric visits, PE therapy, etc. wildly enough, one night in this ward cost us less than the 1 hour sessions with the previous american hospital i got a lot of therapy from which showed just how badly they were ripping us off. they referred me to some kind of girls home where it’d be more constant therapy etc but i couldnt actually stay there bc it’s only for the citizens of virginia on paper (which i was not. we were illegal immigrants at this point). they referred me to a trauma centre and i basically went thru some sort of expressive therapy? i wasn’t given much more detail than that but we’d work with a sand box & id be given a prompt and told to try to show how i feel in the sand box using a bunch of figures to try to illustrate the situation. besides that we did expressive art therapy where i think i had to paint sth or draw sth but i don’t remember it well. we also did some sort of meditative therapy, focused on learning how to breathe bc i had a lot of panic attacks & anxiety-induced nausea etc so that was meant to help me in such cases. i remember we did sth called the i think 478. breathe in 4 seconds, hold 7 seconds, breathe out 8 seconds. do it at least 6 times and count in ur head bc it helps. it’s meant to trigger ur parasympathetic nervous system and calm down ur body. overall my time in america was a year & a half.

after that i had to go back to bahrain for a year and then i got into uni in the UK. i immediately asked to be put into therapy & was again considered high risk & high priority due to my history w suicidality & self harming behaviours. despite that, it took 3 years to even get me anywhere with that process. i was evaluated and the therapist thought i’d benefit most from DBT. i only managed to start DBT on my 4th year in the U.K., ie the end of my time there. i must’ve done like idk 4 months of DBT? maybe even less. and the program is meant to be a minimum of one year. if i recall correctly it was 3 hours per week, 2 hours group therapy & 1 hour individual therapy. it was really helpful and great but i had to leave bc my residence permit was expiring and it was a v sad moment.

i haven’t been able to get back into therapy since which has been hard but i’ve managed to control my self-harming behaviours esp after DBT. sorry this was rly long but i wasn’t sure what aspect would benefit u or not so i thought might as well go in depth

[introloves]

i saw you mention destroying virgin hinata,,,,,pls elaborate. i didn’t realize i needed that in my life but omg. head full many thoughts

omg my first drabble for hinata, lets see if i can do this sunshine justice bc brazil hinata lives rent free in my head so we going with big muscle, sun-kissed hinata for this one hehe (ALSO OOPS THIS GOT KINDA LONG SORRY!) also this is for f! reader!

he felt guilty, hinata felt absolutely guilty looking at you like he wanted to devour you.

the way your thighs looked beneath the dress you wore, your soft skin, you looked supple and beautiful.

you were perched on his couch, legs crisscrossed, comfy around your boyfriend.

“sho?”

“y-yeah?” you giggled at the way he seemed to be absolutely out of it.

“you’ve been staring at me for a long time, you okay?” the tips of his ears flushed red, he looked away swiftly, unable to meet your gaze.

“yeah! its just...” he exhaled, steeling himself, “you look good.”

hinata pinned you with a stare you’ve only seen him sport during volleyball.

oh.

this time you ran hot with his gaze, your hand came up to block him from view while you basically simmered into the couch.

he was on you in no time, prying your hands away, he thought that he had made you feel bad. you quickly dismissed his claims. explaining to him just how intense he could look.

by this point he was well aware of the feelings simmering in his stomach, no one had ever made him feel like you did. you made him feel like a man, so far his life practically evolved around volleyball, he just recently squeezed you in. you had been quickly taking a larger part of his heart, and as he hovered over you, wrists still in his hand, he realized that he was aroused.

he felt gross at the thought, you weren’t doing anything particularly sexual, just the way your skin looked presented so pretty for him made his baser instincts flare.

your eyes formed half moons as you smiled brightly up at him, still in a playing mood you shook free of his grasp, wrestling your much stronger boyfriend down beneath you.

your dress had hitched itself even higher as you perched on his lap not caring about flashing your undies at him, hinata always made you feel safe and you weren’t a very modest person anyways.

he squeaked as you settled right on top his dick, which was growing with need, throbbing at the heat currently situated right atop it.

“s-stop you shouldn’t-“ he squeaked out, your eyebrows furrowed at the sudden change in attitude he had.

“shouldn’t what?” you asked, leaning forward to try and lock your gaze with his. he jumped, hands coming to clamp down on your waist.

ohh.

your eyes widened at the realization, he was hard against you.

he made a move to tug you off him, but you placed a hand on his forearms.

“l-let me... help you.”

he was your boyfriend after all, this was something boyfriend and girlfriends did.

those words like a punch to the gut, he was sure he was going to cum embarrassingly fast with how just your words affected him.

he nodded, releasing a breath he didnt know he was holding as you smiled... and began rocking your hips against him.

there was no soft build up, he quickly blinked in awe at the feeling of your cunt dragging over his dick.

his hands kept a bruising grip on your waist, biceps bulging with the restraint of ‘dont cum, dont cum, dont cum’ playing over and over in his head.

your own pants lingered in the air as his dick provided the hardness you needed to get off, there was little barrier between your undies (which were soaking... much to hinatas pleasure) and him.

hinata had never felt like this, the fantasy of a woman’s heat so close to him paled in comparison to you rocking against him. his toes curled, his own hips rocking up to meet you.

he couldnt keep up, this was too much too soon for him. he didnt wanna cum in his pants like a teenaged boy. he was ashamed at how little expirience he had, but he still wanted to make you feel good.

you sped up suddenly, wanting to see how he’d react to your teasing, but it felt like his world was tilting on its axis.

he stopped you, mustering all the strength he could to keep you still above him.

“s-stop! stop... please stop.” he cried.

“you dont wanna?” you huffed, struggling to keep your undulating hips still. hinata groaned out a painful noise, he ran a hand through his vibrant hair in frustration, and embarrassment. how was he going to tell his absolute sexy girlfriend he was twenty something and still a virgin.

with a deep breath he managed to stutter out a coherent sentence.

“i’m a virgin.” the words hung heavy around him, he sat there once again unable to meet your gaze.

you shuddered at the confession, it was like a switch had flipped. you once again moved against him and hinata all but choked at the feeling of your cunt work yourself over him.

“i’m going to ruin you.” you rasped out, hands coming up to cup his face as you held him against you while your mouth clashed against his.

“fuuuck.” he groaned at your words, his head thrown back agaist the couch to breathe, disconnected from your kiss for just a second.

you were going to ruin him? those words played over and over, he pondered the thought before he realized he wanted you to ruin him.

he nodded, unable to speak, his tongue heavy in his mouth.

you made quick work of his pants, moving his boxers down his thighs.

your eyes roamed up his dick, it was so pretty. it was pale and much bigger than what you had thought, you knew it was going to give you a good burn once you sunk down onto it.

it was your turn to let out a fucked out noise and hinata ate it up, swallowing hard at the way you regarded him.

“all good?” he questioned, nervous at having someone else look at him like this.

“oh shoyo, its better than good. you have such a nice cock.”

and with that you move your panties to the side, once again hinata tenses at the look of your dripping pussy. he moans unabashedly at the sight, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as you begin sheating yourself onto him.

hes never felt anything so tight, his eyes wide as he stares up at you in awe.

you thought you’d hold up better than you were currently, maybe it was because it was shoyo filling you up, or because of the position you were in made him reach inside you extra deep, whatever it was you panted like a dog in heat.

“sthat okay?” you slurred and he could do nothing more than nod, eyes tightly closed. his hips jerked beneath you, twitching.

you bit your lip at the jolts, knowing he wasnt going to last long.

“i’m already close. i’m sorry, im so sorry.” he whines, and you quickly shut him up.

“shh.” you coo, starting a slow pace up and down his cock.

“youre doing so good, youre doing so good for me.” you whine, choking on the way he felt against you... fuck maybe you were going to cum.

however that thought is short lived as you impale yourself onto him, over and over.

“fuck! i’m cumming! i’m cumming!” he babbles, taking a hold of you and pushing you down on him, you let him, you let him use you for the time being while he cums hotly inside you.

hinata jerks with the force of his release, cumming harder than he ever as.

you do nothing but coo above him,

“there you go, cum for me.”

he’s dizzy with your words and the way you clench around him to prolong his release.

hes well spent by the time he finally stops painting your pussy white with his cum.

there’s a minute of reprieve, just breathing against you until he gasps as he realizes just exactly what happened.

he grabs you unexpectedly. pushing his nose right between your boobs, laughing.

“youre my first!” he laughs, the type of laugh that comes deep within his stomach.

“and you just made me cum so hard.” he holds you tight, hands roaming your back, squeezing your ass slightly.

you laugh with him, heart so very light because with hinata everything is so easy.

“you know i’m going to pay you back for that right?” you make no noise, still processing what he means by that statement- until he makes a show of pistoning his softening cock in and out of you, making an absolute mess, his cum and your slickness dripping down his balls, slickening your thighs, making you squelch against it all.

you pant, worried about your pussy as you remember his insane stamina.

“w-what a second shoyo! you need to wait, aren’t you still sensitive?” you question, and he pins you with another intense gaze.

“whats that gotta do with anything?” he deadpans.

he had the gaze of a predator now, as you looked up at you between your tits.

[bruhlsbees]

the last night || anthony adams x fem!reader

summary: during his last night in the unit, anthony makes sure he's leaving you with one more good memory

pairing: anthony adams x fem!reader

word count: 2,395

warnings: general fluff, angst, skinny dipping, mentions of mental illness and being in a mental hospital, 18+ although no smut

a/n: i went into bottle rocket not knowing what to expect fully and i came out a full anthony adams simp so pls enjoy this fluffy piece pre-bottle rocket events - this is vvvv self-indulgent and sloppy, but it's just a piece i wanted to write and post

“So when are you leaving?” You asked casually, trying your best to not let your own feelings show - after all, you were happy for him, he was getting out.

You just wished you could go with him.

“Tomorrow. Dignan’s coming to ‘rescue’ me sometime in the afternoon,” Peeling open the wrapper of the pastry you swiped for him from the cafeteria earlier that day, he broke it in half to share with you, “I wouldn’t put it past him to show up with some elaborate scheme.”

“That’s Dignan for you.” You took the half he offered you and held it in your hands, staring at the moist breading before sighing and stuffing it in your mouth, chewing on it to try and avoid the built up feeling you had inside.

Okay, so maybe you were being a little selfish, but of all the years you had been there at the hospital, Anthony was the first you really clicked with. So it was only fair for you to be a little upset to know that he was getting out. Wasn’t it?

The two of you sat in comfortable silence while you finished off the muffin, you at the foot of his bed while he sat up top. Anthony wasn’t an idiot - nor was he new to being around you - he knew you were upset with him leaving, but how could he say it without you lashing out?

You had reminded him of Dignan in a lot of ways, which is why maybe he hit things off with you so well. You had the same passion Dignan did with your schemes, though your schemes only ever involved stealing desserts from the cafeteria and sneaking off into janitor’s closets when you two should have been outside.

He knew you’d be able to handle yourself, but he did worry though at the idea of your episodes. Without him around, would you be able to keep yourself grounded enough to not get thrown in isolation every other week?

Anthony was content with the idea of just sitting in his room the rest of the night with you, walking you back to your room once you got tired and kissing you on the cheek goodnight. Though, when he saw the tear slip down your cheek and you quickly wiped it away before he noticed, he knew he couldn’t just end the night on a somber note.

Everyone knew you two as ‘the duo’ around the unit. You were always the one leading with Anthony following behind you, occasionally pulling you back before you got into too much trouble. But tonight, he would be the one taking charge.

Standing up from his bed, Anthony extended his hand out to you, offering you his signature kind smile before motioning towards the door.

“Come on, I got an idea.” At first you were hesitant - his ideas usually meant dragging you on a walk to ‘clear your head’ or sit outside. To be quite frank, they were boring compared to the ideas you brewed in your head. Given though it was his last night, you complied.

You took his hand and smiled when he pulled you up, letting his fingers interlock with your’s before giving them a squeeze. Dragging you with him, Anthony led you both out of his room, checking to make sure there weren’t any guards around before heading down the hallway that led to the rec rooms.

Pushing through the set of doors that led into the basketball court, you turned your nose slightly, “We aren’t playing basketball, are we?” Your nose turned into a scrunch when you heard him laugh, squeezing your hand before pulling you closer to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“No, I know you can’t play to save your life. I have a better idea, just trust me.”

And you did, of course you did - it was Anthony.

After making your way through the basketball court, the two of you headed down the back hallway that led down the stairs and to the pool. When the scent of chlorine hit your nose, you turned your head up and towards him.

“I didn’t bring a suit,” You began, toying with the bracelet on your wrist. Humming as you looked around, you took a step closer to the pool, looking down at the deep end, “Plus we just ate - aren’t you supposed to wait like an hour before you go swimming?”

Shaking his head, Anthony took a few steps forward until he was behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, “Well...I was thinking we didn’t have to wear suits, and if you’re worried about cramps, I don’t mind waiting.”

Leaning back into his arms, your hands held onto his, thinking about his idea.

“Oh...so like...we’d swim naked?” You felt him crane his neck down to kiss the top of your head, your lips pulling into a smile.

“Yeah, unless you’d rather go in your underwear. Whatever you want.” Turning you in his arms to look down at you, Anthony smiled and brought his hands up to your face, holding your cheeks before lightly pinching them between his fingers.

Giggling at his movements, you pulled away and shook your head, “No, I like this idea. Very daring for the famous ‘Austere Anthony Adams’.” You teased, making your way over to the side of the pool near the bench.

As you began to pull your clothes off, Anthony made his way towards you, unzipping his sweater to join you in the process, though his brain was still trying to wrap around the word you used to describe him.

“Austere? What does that mean?” He questioned, watching as you shimmied out of your pants, now standing in your underwear. He honestly figured you were going to go in your underwear, but he was pleasantly surprised to see you reach behind your back and unclip your bra.

“It means serious. You’re a quite serious person,” You pushed your underwear down your legs and stepped out of them, letting your clothes fall into a pile before you stood back up, “Just cause I’m a nut, doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of vocabulary.”

Before he could make a comment about your diss on yourself, wanting to point out that he never thought that way, you were quick to make a dash for the pool, throwing yourself in and letting the room echo with the sounds of the splash.

Anthony was quick to join you, struggling to pull his boxers off from around his ankles, hopping over towards the pool before managing to finally kick them off, diving in after you.

The water was much cooler than you had expected it to be, which wasn’t a complaint at all given how hot it had been recently in Arizona. You wished that you were allowed more pool time in the summer, but figured that they kept you on the same routine for a reason.

When Anthony came up from the water, he pushed his hair back and spit out some water, treading the water until he found a spot where his feet could touch the bottom. Making your way towards him, you struggled to keep your head above water.

Letting you struggle for a bit, Anthony’s own smile pulled until he decided that you probably had enough and pulled you into his arms, letting your legs wrap around his middle. Your arms came to wrap around his neck, fingers gently running through the back of his hair that was by the base of his neck.

“I forgot how terrible of a swimmer you are.” He noted, flinching when you splashed water at him. Before you could make a comment about how you had known him for some time now, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to you.

It was always your favorite way to have him shut you up, and the same went for him. Out of all the kisses you had shared with people both in and out of the unit, Anthony was by far your favorite.

His kisses reminded you of the feeling you got when you watched your parents kiss growing up. It was gentle and made your heart ache whenever you saw them because you knew it was something you wanted. Now you finally got to have that sweet kiss, with Anthony.

When the two of you pulled away, your smile sank into a frown when you noticed his own expression shift into something sad, “You know, I don’t think of you as a nut...and I’d wish you’d stop saying that about yourself.” He whispered.

Letting your shoulders sink, you kept quiet while you listened to him, your eyes welling with tears again at the sight of him staring at you the way he did. You both knew you were crazy - hell, that’s why you were here and not out there, but he always made it a priority to make you still feel like a person.

“I’m gonna miss you, you know? But I’ll still keep in touch, write you letters and tell you all about the crazy things Dignan is wrapping me up in,” Quick to change the subject, he pushed some of your hair back and smiled tenderly, “Who knows, maybe when you get out you can join us? I know Dignan will like you. Hell, you two will probably gang up on me any chance you can.”

You liked the idea of joining them in their schemes, to be free and out in the world with Anthony - no longer feeling like a bird trapped in a cage - but despite your constant drift into a dream world you enjoyed living in, you were still a realist when you needed to be, and you knew you’d never be able to go out in the world with him.

“That sounds nice...maybe if we’re on the road we can go and see the Grand Canyon? I’ve never been there before. I hear it’s really nice.” You closed your eyes when you felt him kiss your forehead, moving once he pulled back to let your head fall into the crook of his neck.

“We can go wherever you wanna go. You, me...unfortunately probably Dignan too,” He felt you smile against his neck and his smile only grew, “But it’ll be good. Having you with us...with me.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence after that, him holding you while you kept your head pressed into his neck. He ignored the obvious sniffles coming from you as you cried, rubbing your back as the two of you began to mourn the time you two shared.

He would’ve been perfectly fine holding you the rest of the night, until you got tired and wanted to go back, but he was happy to feel you pull back, lightly kicking off him and falling onto your back to float in the water.

Anthony watched you for a bit, listening to you hum one of the songs that played on the radio a lot before swimming towards you, joining you in the back float.

Staring up at the ceiling, Anthony began to wonder what he’d do once he got out. He knew he’d, of course, need to find a job. Maybe his friend Bob could help him with that? He’d want to see Grace too, his little sister, and his parents.

Hell, would they even want to see him?

The rest of the night together in the pool was spent silently floating beside one another, occasionally changing positions so Anthony could hold you in his arms for the last time. When you commented on how your fingers were beginning to prune, the two of you decided that it was probably time to go.

The walk to your room was heavy - you holding onto his hand tightly, your steps much slower than usual. You knew once you said goodnight, you’d also be saying goodbye.

It didn’t come as a surprise to him when he noticed you crying now, and not bothering to hide your tears from him.

You opened your door, ready to say a short goodnight to get it over with - to let your mind pretend you’d see him tomorrow and you two would do your usual day, but Anthony stopped you before you could.

“I’m happy for you!” You rushed out, clinging onto him as he hugged you, “You deserve to be getting out, I’m just-“

“Shh…I know, I know. It’s okay,” Petting your hair, Anthony closed his eyes and tried to focus on not crying himself, wanting to stay strong for you. “Like I said, I’ll still keep in touch. Send you letters and let you know where I’m at. That way when you get out, you can come find me.”

Pulling back, you nodded and sniffled, wiping your nose before carefully untying your bracelet, taking his left hand to bring up, tying it around his wrist.

“Hey, that‘s your bracelet-”

“I know. You’re just keeping it safe for me until I get out,” You smiled when you finished tying it off before looking up at him, “When we see each other again you can give it back.”

Quietly looking at you, Anthony’s lips pulled into a thin line, gaze falling to the bracelet before his other hand came up, fingers lightly grazing over the blue and purple string.

“You’re gonna do great out there. I bet you’re going to get a real cool job and drive one of those fancy cars we see driving down the road-”

Cutting you off with a kiss, Anthony held your face close to him for the last night, taking his time with the kiss to get it all out of him before he left.

He’d miss the feeling in his stomach that he got when he kissed you. Like a bunch of moths were floating around. Your lips always felt soft to him and he wondered if all girls were like that - or if it was just you.

It was you who pulled away this time, gently pushing him back until you both were staring at each other.

This was it. This was the end.

Opening the door to your room, you began to walk in before turning to face Anthony for the last time.

“Have a goodnight.” He whispered.

You smiled weakly and nodded, “Goodbye, Anthony.”

[kickingstonesandbones]

What I’ve gathered from the 3 Episodes bc some of y’all seem confused or asked

Disclaimer: For the past 10+ years, I've made it a hobby of mine to thoroughly analyze fictional characters and plots, so I feel pretty confident in predicting characters. There rarely are plot twists that can surprise me. BUT that is obviously no guarantee that I am absolutely perfect at it and never wrong! Nor do I believe that I am always correct, just quite confident in reading between the lines with characters.

There are some theories and posts I've seen (on different platforms) that, I think, are doing a good job of getting the general gist of stuff, but nonetheless, they all seem to be overlooking minor details that can turn around meanings (like the way Hoshino acts). Also, many of you seem to either be ignoring or unaware of the mindset of older JAPANESE generations (of Insanely Rich Families™).

So yeah, I am just going to put statements/theories I’ve seen and go through them one by one. They’ll be obviously marked, so just read the ones you’re interested in? (Also, I absolutely love a good discourse, so if you have something that would challenge my own theories, or would like to discuss something that I haven’t touched up on in this OR want me to elaborate on something, feel free to comment, reblog, or dm me with your opinion or question! Whatever you’re more comfortable with 😊)

#1 Haru killed the woman. (I see this as a kind of side-comment a lot?)

#2 Hoshino feels 'torn' about Haru. // He has turned cold/harsh towards Haru. // He dislikes Haru now. (Why it’s more complicated than that and also different than you think – explained more lengthily than I intended to, but still shorter than I could’ve lol)

#3 Why that entire first scene in Episode 3 exists.

#4 Because of that scene, WHAT really is Suzue to Daisuke now? (Just brain farts, pls kinda ignore this one haha I just wanted that one theory written down to get back to it)

#5 Older Japanese Generations In General... (aka Daisuke’s behavior in Ep 3 explained)

#6 Daisuke and Haru are NOT as close as some of you might want to believe right now.... Yet, at least. Yet.

Extra: I've seen a post where someone wondered whether Daisuke's and Haru's pasts are somehow connected. (I haven’t seen a single post about the 1998 Files and the Parents in this context, for some reason, and was wondering.)

I’ll put a Read More here because this is going to be long, very long.

#1 Haru killed the woman.

Absolutely not true. (I do see people mention that like “he killed her in self-defense” in case you're thinking "well duh, Sherlock.") Choice of words is ALWAYS important.

In Episode 2 when Haru and Daisuke talk on the stairs, Daisuke relays information about Haru. He says, "you misfired and seriously injured the target" when talking about the reason why Haru is not in First Division anymore.

Now, Daisuke does not seem the type to sugarcoat facts, which means he would not leave out "which resulted in their death" at the end, or just straight up say "you misfired and killed the target." Now, 'seriously injured' means that the woman's life WAS in grave danger and she was close to dying, but she DID NOT DIE in the end. She survived. Being shot in the chest does not mean inevitable death. In fact, you can survive injury to any organ (even the brain) EXCEPT for the stomach (bc inner walls are covered in a protein that protects the stomach from digesting itself -> injury that would let the acid leak from it -> acid will burn away other organs -> you die of multiple organ failure bc you cannot stitch up a stomach)

It hits her in the right side of her chest, maybe even right below the shoulder. It’s hard for me to tell the exact position from the frames. But anyway, it most likely pierced through her right lung, which in itself is already deadly enough. But yeah, she did not die. No one in the anime ever even alludes to it.

I think some people believe he actually accidentally killed the woman because Haru was so devastated by it IMMEDIATELY. No, it wasn’t because of that per se. He was absolutely devastated because he. LOVES. PEOPLE. (As shown by his entire conversation with the boy on the train before he gets off and his faith in the good in people in Ep 3.) And it just left him so shaken that he (seriously) injured an innocent person. (In his eyes innocent because someone who is about to shoot you out of anger/other strong emotions is not necessarily innocent to me but that is an entirely different discussion.) Anyway, I think he was most shocked about the fact that he had pulled the trigger on her out of reflex (because he instinctively knew she WAS going to shoot him DEAD in that moment and his body reacted before he could think about it – as his immediate reaction to shooting her shows).

See the absolute shock in his eyes? Like he only realized what he did right after shooting her. Reflex.

 #2 Hoshino feels 'torn' about Haru. // He has turned cold/harsh towards Haru. // He dislikes Haru now.

Yes, but no. I don't quite agree - and I don't agree mostly with the explanations given why (but also parts of the statements). And the reason for that is simply Hoshino's different facial expressions and exact choice of words in the interactions between them. To me, he seems like the type who would have an indifferent kind of face most of the time since I literally screenshotted every single scene with him (solely for this analysis lol), and he does have variation in expression, but only a little bit most of the time. His feelings are kinda subtle.

But before I explicitly explain what I mean, let me define something. 'Being torn' about something in general means that one cannot decide between two things, mostly two opposite (or at least quite different) things. And since some say Hoshino 'feels torn,' it would mean he would have two opposing feelings towards Haru, which I honestly don't think is true. It is just one very complex feeling that manifested over time.

Let me start by how Hoshino views Haru.

Haru is Hoshino's senior (senpai). Hoshino is Haru's junior (kohai). As we can see in the flashback in Ep 3 on the rooftop, Hoshino admires Haru. Like, this baby has complete and utter admiration in his eyes.

(He likely also thinks in that moment that Haru is insane, but that is besides the point right now.) He admires Haru for being able to do things fearlessly that he hesitates about. He looks like he’d like to be just like Haru as well. He looks up to him.

Then, the incident of Haru shooting the woman happens. Haru leaves the First Division and 'gets demoted' to the MCPTF. The two of them only speak to each other with higher level (distant relationship) honorifics. (I have a point about Hoshino calling Haru senpai in the first episode, but I will get to that.) Why they fell back into stranger honorifics will get more obvious in my second main point.

In the flashback we get in the third episode,

we get a Hoshino who stays on the side, also looking kind of dejected. I do not think that he is disappointed or angry at that moment. He just stares at his senpai in silence. Since he admires Haru so much, I guess he always wanted to be a cop JUST LIKE Haru, so he is... grieving? with Haru. I don't really know how to put it into words, but you could say he is HURTING by seeing his amicable, precious senpai BEATEN. Do not forget that Takei (Haru’s former superior) also puts a reassuring hand on Haru's shoulder. This interaction shows that they DO NOT blame him. (I am saying this bc I've seen people angry about what Hoshino says to Haru in Ep 3, saying "why would he hate him so much now and be so mean" - he doesn't. He absolutely. Does. Not. Hate. Him. He is frustrated and disappointed, but not hateful towards Haru.)

Having explained that, let me get to my first main point here:

I don't think I need to lay out Haru's work ethics for you guys because they're so clearly shown in the anime. So considering those work ethics of his, I truly believe that Haru ASKED to be removed from the First Division (which is why I put gets demoted in '   ' earlier) and be switched to one where he does not need a gun. Hence, he's now in the MCPTF. We do not SEE him getting demoted after that incident, which is why I firmly believe that that was Haru's decision and that he was persistent about it. When he packs up and leaves

he does not seem sour to HAVE to leave the division, but rather that he still seems to dwell over the reason WHY he's packing his stuff up. (You can see turmoil in his eyes. And that he’s lost in thoughts. He seems regretful, but also kind of set on something.) I mean the train scene really shows just HOW MUCH it still affects him

so I am pretty certain that he's thinking about exactly that and that he does not deserve to be a cop because of what he has done in that exact moment, and so on.

My second main point:

My first main point is exactly the reason why I think Hoshino acts the way he does towards Haru. It explains his expression that we see as Haru packs up his stuff.

He does not look angry.

He is hurt. And disappointed.

He feels let down.

In a sense, also betrayed. Like this isn’t reality.

The oh-so-great senpai, whom he has always looked up to all this time, who seemed so amazing, is pulling in his tail between his legs. Giving up. And running away. Just like that. Just because of ONE mistake. One mistake ALL of them probably would've made in that situation if they had been in his shoes. It made him realize that the senpai he had idolized all this time might not be as invincible as he had thought.

And. It. Hurts. Hoshino. To. No. End. (I mean, just zoom in on the pic and look at those eyes.)

I don't think he has ever let Haru know just how hurt he was just watching him leave and accepting the work he'd do in MCPTF (which is literally just desk work and filling in missing men force, as far as we’ve seen), which probably would mean that he let the hurt foster and foster inside of him until it slowly started to turn into coldness/curtness towards Haru. (Also could be that they fought before Haru left, which would also explain some remarks Hoshino makes.) He was hurt, and he somehow needed to show it.

Hoshino looked up to Haru, and was left feeling let down by his former partner. That stings. Deeply.

(I mean you can literally see the small changes in his eyes. His expressions slightly soften and harden. But the words tend to be more direct and harsh. And honestly, that is the result of disappointment and hurt speaking. But nevertheless, he still lets Haru and Kamei listen in (bottom right corner) even though he does look slightly annoyed; probably because he knows that he won’t be able to get rid of them, especially Haru. So the admiration is still there – probably had never left – which can give him moments where he “gives in”. Also, look at the bottom left corner.)

I mean Hoshino probably used to ALWAYS call Haru senpai for a longer period of time because he NEVER ever calls Haru senpai in the anime except for that one time when Haru startled him in the first episode. People in general react out of reflex and instinct whenever they're startled because reflexes and instincts are not a thing your brain CONSCIOUSLY processes. Those are subconscious responses.

If you don’t believe me, here is the other times Hoshino has called Haru – and when he did, it was literally only “Kato-san” (there aren’t a lot of other examples bc he literally only says Haru’s name like four times so far, but when he is NOT surprised, he addresses Haru like this):

(Completely taken aback by Haru just stealing the ear-piece, surprised face, afterwards not even aware that he did call Haru senpai, which he never does again (so far))

Which means Hoshino did not (more like COULD NOT) think about the way he'd call Haru, so that "senpai" slipped past his lips out of pure old habit. (Which goes to show that they used to be really close.) I'm not crying, you are.

.

I also have to bring up that first conversation on the train in Ep 3.

Kato: “That was rather fast.”

Hoshino: “Why are you here?” (he says Kato-san in Japanese, not “you”)

K: “I happened to be on the train. The perp is male. He said he failed the college entrance exam, so his age is somewhere around 19 or 20. I’m guessing he’s from somewhere around Hyogo.”

H: “How do you know-”

K: “I was sitting next to him, until moments ago.”

H: “Any other information?”

K: “No. I only started talking to him when I was close to getting off.”

H: “Understood. We at First Division will be handling this case. Kato-san, please take your leave.”

K: “It’s alright. I’m not a stranger in his light. Let me do it.”

H: “Do you have any authority to be on this crime scene?”

K: “What do you mean?”

H: “Why don’t you ask yourself that question?”

Look exactly at the changes in their eyes in each single picture here. Notice how Hoshino goes from surprised to somewhat indifferent to challenging? Someone might even argue that he looks angry, hostile, or that it’s resentment in his eyes, but considering that he is asking “Why don’t you ask yourself that question?” it is neither of those, because he is challenging Haru to defend himself. But Haru doesn’t answer, and they just stare each other down for a few seconds.

Just by the way Hoshino says it, and the way Haru reacts and how it immediately triggers the flashback/memory afterwards, I think this might actually be something Haru has said TO Hoshino (about himself) back then when Hoshino might've tried to change Haru's mind on leaving the First Division (that he does not deserve to be a cop, investigate crime scenes like that, etc). At least that interaction and just how Haru reacts to it seems to be implying that to me.

I refuse to believe Hoshino did not try at all to persuade and hold back Haru back then (I mean just that pic of Hoshino staring at Haru when he was packing his stuff and leaving the division literally SCREAMS INTO YOUR FACE), so I believe Haru told him at least SOMEWHAT how he feels about the whole thing, and I think Haru probably definitely said something along those lines. Like, he “did not deserve to investigate crime scenes LIKE THAT” (I mean the trauma and the train scene are literally the same hostage scenario with the culprit having a firearm (even if the kid's was a model gun and not real)) nor that he “deserved to be a cop any longer (because cops wouldn’t hurt the innocent).” He might’ve said something like that to Hoshino, which only frustrates and disappoints the latter further.

So in this complicated mess, what is it that Hoshino is actually feeling? That mixture of hurt, disappointment, betrayal and being let down has manifested itself into frustration. Hoshino is frustrated with Haru.

He’ll probably explode (in Haru’s face) at some point in the anime, too.

(I think Hoshino is an interesting character.)

#3 Why that entire first scene in Episode 3 exists

I was so confused about that scene in the beginning and had to check whether I WAS actually watching the third episode lol

The main thing I get from it is that it's entirely about INFORMATION. That is probably entirely because the Hong Kong episode got deleted and instead we'll get that in a drama CD? In Hong Kong, Haru probably would've learned that HEUSC is an AI butler, not a real one, and how to use him. (Among other things.) I mean, he somehow needs to first get to learn about HEUSC before he can use him for the whole train scenario later in the episode? And that hadn't been done yet, and probably would've happened in Hong Kong, but we aren't getting that in the anime so that information needed to be given another way. Which is probably why that first scene even exists. If anyone knows well about script writing for that and how that in general works, and knows more about this, please let me know, I am interested in learning lmao

#4 Because of that scene, WHAT really is Suzue to Daisuke now?

I do not want anyone to comment that it was confirmed that they are siblings or some shit. NOTHING has been confirmed. She still could be his wife. She also just could be his sister. Or a cousin. We will get to know eventually, but as of right now, NOTHING AT ALL HAS BEEN CONFIRMED. REMEMBER THAT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT.

I, in general, do not really care for ships. So idgaf if she is his sister or wife, but I DO have a theory of my own. And it is all because of how Daisuke's grandmother introduced herself.

DAISUKE'S grandmother. Not THEIRS. Not Daisuke's AND Suzue's grandmother. ONLY Daisuke's.

So this either means a harsh canon awakening for shippers, or it MIGHT mean something entirely else. (And I have 3 points to make here.)

(1) That she does not accept Suzue as a grandchild. Now, she did not look like she harbors resentment towards Suzue and wished she wasn't present at all or didn't exist. Buuuuut.... Suzue might be an illegitimate grandchild? Like, I know that sounds wild, but hear me out.

Children sometimes look more like one parent rather than the other (or a parent’s side). Sometimes, not always, but often enough. Animes in general do not make love interests or parents look almost identical. (But then again, you could never know with the devs of this one lmao) Soooo... It could be that they either look like their father, or their mother. And the respective parent had an affair, resulting in Suzue. And why I believe it would be Suzue, if one of them actually would be the illegitimate child? Because she is younger than Daisuke, and the way the grandmother treats HIM. (Honestly, if Daisuke would be the illegitimate child, 1. Grandma wouldn't claim him 2. Why would the other parent stick around for two more years to have another child with a cheater?) Which could be why - considering the mindset of older Japanese generations - why she only introduced herself as Daisuke's grandmother. And also why she is so immensely strict with him. In her eyes, he would be the only heir to the family. So she has to raise him to be a responsible man whom she can hand over the company to with peace of mind.

(2) Daisuke and Suzue are actually married. So get over it in this case. (And don't you DARE hate on a great character (again) because of that, otherwise I'll only refer to ya'll as salty hoes from them on.)

(3) We all (read: I) might be interpreting too much into it and it literally means nothing at all, and she just introduced herself that way because they were going to talk about Daisuke because of his new work place and since Daisuke and Haru are partners. For this case, I already have my wig, red nose, and make up ready 🤡

If I am being honest, (1) does not seem too likely to me – just something I randomly thought of. I actually think it’s just simply (3). But I am presenting it for the VERY small chance that (1) could actually be true lmao I bet I will cringe hard at it later

Highly likely: Since Haru would be more involved with Daisuke than Suzue because of work, it could be that she just found it more logical to introduce herself as his grandma, rather than theirs, so yeah… like I’ve said, these are just brain farts and I just wanted to have them written down lol

EDIT: I’ve been made aware that there seems to be an error in the translation. Since it is too much of a pain to add even more pics on mobile, I will just relay the information of the tweet. You can find the link to the tweet in the comments though. My Japanese isn’t that great, so I am dependent on the translation, so errors can occur, which makes me happy when people point something like this out to me. Basically, what Kikuko is actually saying in Japanese is that she’s the grandma, but she leaves out the pronouns - therefore not really saying whose grandma she is - so it could refer to both of them. Like I said, (1) doesn’t seem likely to me anyway lol

#5 Older Japanese Generations In General...

Are strict. Are very conservative. Especially insanely rich families like the Kambe's. Kikuko is NOT strict with him because she has a bad personality or because she is inherently mean or something. (Though she does seem to consider him a bit irresponsible because she calls him selfish)

(Also notice how she asks “so hasn’t he” instead of “he hasn’t been, has he?” which means she always expects him to cause trouble for everyone. This goes to show that Daisuke can never do enough or do good enough for her, which also explains his character a bit since his grandma took care of him since his parents died, but my point here is not to analyze his entire behavior.)

The Japanese have a culture of respect. Respect your elders. Unconditionally. And grandparents of insanely rich families like Daisuke's also demand respect, which means not talking back, or DISOBEYING THEIR ORDERS. Which brings me to the next point (for which I have written this one because y’all might be misinterpreting Daisuke’s behavior, which is exactly what I meant in the beginning with “ignoring or being unaware of the mindset of older Japanese generations”)...

#6 Daisuke and Haru are NOT as close as some of you might want to believe right now.... Yet, at least. Yet.

Sorry to burst the bubbles.

I see everyone going on about them now being partners, and Daisuke trusting his life with Haru’s judgement.

The second part, yes… kinda at least.

The first? Not so much.

Let me talk about the first half of the sentence first. Like the point before this clarifies – unconditional, non-questioning respect, and no disobedience. Which means that Daisuke would NOT go against the orders of his grandmother. By helping Haru with that case and listening to him, being coached, is literally just him obeying Kikuko. (He might also think that it would be better to just follow before Haru rats him out to his grandma for a second time.)

(I do bet though that that will soon change and be genuine!)

Now, with the part about trusting his life to Haru’s judgement… I am not sure whether I can properly explain this the way I mean it, so I just hope it will make sense. I think Daisuke kind of trusted Haru’s judgement on the boy, but also trusted his own judgement just a little more than that. I think he just made logical deductions from what he witnessed inside (reported that a person was down and that they were probably killed by the boy, then it turns out he is doing all that for his sister’s surgery, then it turns out that gun is not real (after causing a distraction) and nobody is actually injured, but then he gets his hand on a real gun (Hoshino’s) and points it their direction in a panic, and Daisuke notices Haru cannot shoot the boy, so he deducts that if the boy knows that his sister will be safe, he will calm down and the situation will be completely de-escalated, so he steps forward and states he will pay for it (he does not really care about spending money as we all know lol) and stands with confidence because he knows flinching or getting nervous – or even blinking – would make it look like a lie and he would definitely NOT want that). Does this make sense? Like, Daisuke is such a calm and collected person, I doubt he would just absolutely BLINDLY jump into something because of someone else’s judgement BEFORE making sure that their judgement is correct by his own observation of the situation, which would be why he stayed behind Haru and just observed until a certain point where he was absolutely certain that it would be safe to do so.

Though what that DOES mean though would be that Daisuke would probably trust Haru’s judgement without being too skeptical about it soon. (I feel like this might’ve been that part in the Episode 3 Hong Kong PV 3 where a person (looks A LOT like Daisuke, so I’ll just assume it was him) was cuffed and Haru comes to the rescue. It might’ve been that Haru judged that person who ended up doing this to Daisuke to be shady, but Daisuke went ahead anyway and got himself in trouble, which was why he ended up cuffed to something, or something of that sort that would show Daisuke Haru’s judgement can be trusted.) [Edit: I used this simply as a theorizing example of how this could be done in another way with a scene that actually DOES exist (though we won’t be seeing that in the anime anymore it is still canon material) instead of having to make something up, and Hong Kong was just a good example to further show my point.]

Extra: I've seen a post where someone wondered whether Daisuke's and Haru's pasts are somehow connected.

In short: Yes, I think so.

In long: (This theory might be a far reach hahah)

The first time we see Haru enter the office of his division, he is carrying files.

'Unsolved Case Files 1998,' it specifically reads. We know Daisuke's parents have died and he says “it was in Japan” when that one day turned his life around (though we do not have any indication of year yet). I assume they were killed (and that it wasn’t an accident at all) and it is the true reason why he came back to Japan (even though yeeeaaars later bc he needed to be trained)

and why he specifically asked to be in the MCPTF BECAUSE Haru is in it (I’ll explain why soon), instead of the First or Second Division - as the superintendent general had suggested for him to be put into, which resulted in Daisuke declining the offer.

But we don't know much about Haru's family. Actually, NOTHING AT ALL. Now, I think that his parents are dead as well, and that their deaths are connected to Daisuke's parents' deaths. The fact that Haru looks through cold cases (or well, at least old cases), which is only briefly shown by showing the files he carried in the first episode, most likely is meant to be some "foreshadowing/hidden info given” kind of thing. Haru is possibly investigating his parents' (or at least a loved one's) death. His parents' death (if none of his parents were police officers themselves and therefore influenced him in that way) is possibly also the reason Haru became a police officer in the first place (even though he tells Daisuke that it is simply to "nab criminals," maybe specifically the criminals who have to do with that?).

Now, I said before that Daisuke asked to be in the same Division as Haru, not the MCPTF (though he names the division, not Haru’s name but you'll know why I'm saying that by the end of this. I don’t think he has immense interest in the division itself but WHO is IN IT). In the second episode, we get to know that Daisuke has a lot of information about Haru. During the case of Isezaki, we get to know during the interrogation that Daisuke obtains information about a person by having HEUSC scan a person's documentation item

or simply by asking HEUSC. 

We never see him doing that with Haru though (I also seriously doubt Haru would hand him any kind of ID, especially in the beginning lol), which brings me to the point that Daisuke probably already had obtained all of Haru's information before he had arrived in Japan; or maybe at the latest after the Bridge incident though I am pretty certain it was BEFORE arriving in Japan, just that maybe he didn’t know the face? Or maybe he even knew the face but didn’t care. (He probably knew more than just about the trauma and why Haru left the First Division, but Haru did not let him speak any further in that scene. It is unclear though, whether Daisuke would've kept talking or that being all of the information he would have delivered in that moment.)

Because Daisuke might already know from the start that their pasts are connected, while Haru is oblivious to it.

So, Daisuke wants to solve the murder of his parents, and he might think that the key to solving it might be by being around someone/doing it with someone who is also connected to it.

(I have no clue whether I am still making sense bc I haven’t slept and worked on this all night, going through the episodes again and again and at this point I am just extremely tired lol)

Like, I know by the fact that we are only 3 Episodes in that this might sound like a far reach BUT I seriously would not be surprised by this. The thing about storytelling is that at one point you would need to introduce the Motive™ of the story. Since animes have very limited time to tell the story in only 20 minutes, at least ALMOST everything in an episode sooner or later needs to give us that information; and honestly? They could’ve started this anime in ANY other way, but they chose to start by Daisuke telling us about his parents. And I honestly just think that it would be odd if that is not of greater importance in the whole story, so I think that that might be the motive that should be revealed within the first half of the anime. The devs seem like the kind of people who would give small hints for something like this (Daisuke’s parents, the 1998 Files) throughout the entire show and then SLAP it into the face of the ones who are unsuspecting in the second half of the anime, ESPECIALLY since they are so secretive with everything lmao I love them.

I am going to bed now, I’m so fucking tired lol

August 3, 2020

[knollridge]

A Walk in the Park

Smosh

Damien x Reader

1,355 wordcount

This is my first attempt at writing fic!! I’ve been watching HELLA Smosh lately and have fallen in love with all the beauties there, but have a special spot for Damien 😌 If you have a comment you’d like to share, pls do! I know my dialogue, and probably a lot of other things, needs work 😅

No warnings, just a super fluffy asking-out fic. Maybe I should mention that you’ve been lightly flirting around the Smoffice? Since I don’t think that’s 100% perfectly clear below

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!

——————————————————————————

It wasn’t exactly an ideal day to be out. Overcast with the humidity of rain to come, soft petrichor was one of the the only things grounding your senses to the now. Opening your phone, you check the time in front of the park entrance.

2:30, you think. On the dot. You further search your phone’s screen. No texts.

There isn’t much else going through your mind but the anticipatory bubbles of anxiety rising up from your stomach. You’re on time and you’ve never known Damien to not be on time, so there wasn’t much to worry about right?

Oh, but there’s so much to worry about.

It had only been a week since you both auspiciously stayed late for work and got into arguably the most fun and in depth conversation either of you had had in a while. Your ears ring with snippets of it, as you replay the night’s events over in your head.

——————————————————————————

“...but yeah (y/n), that’s so unbelievably cool that you really seem to have found your place here with us.” Damien beams in admiration as you finish organizing your desk for tomorrow’s chaos of table reads, editing, and shoots. You can’t help but smile. He adds, in a low voice, “It’s almost kinda perfect, now that you’re here.” He looks away, turning toward his own stack of scripts and idly pushing them about his desk in an effort to distract himself.

You jokingly laugh, “almost kinda perfect huh? Are you telling me I don’t make it actually 100% perfect?” Your amused laugh is immediately the center of his gaze. He relaxes into a chuckle as well as you take the opportunity to go on. “Oh! I know what would make it better: if The Geese™ had free range of the office, huh? Yeah?” you tease, as you lightly jab him with your elbow. Having a desk next to one of your quickest, and now closest, Smosh friends was an amazing job perk. It did make it near unbearable to not be distracted simply by turning your head slightly to the right during the day, though.

Damien takes your jabs in stride and laughs as he lowers your elbow away from his body. “No, no. While that would actually be awesome, that’s not it.” His hands linger on your arm and you feel a fire catching under them on your skin. You pull away with as much grace as you can muster.

“Well, what is it then? Enlighten me please.” You implore him as if he were royalty, hoping the severity of emotion you felt for him was masked by what you hoped passed off as a continuing joke.

“Well....” Damien looks you fully in the face. You look back up at him and try to absorb the meaning coming from those beautiful, brown, puppy eyes. His face is damn near contorted with some elusive emotion you want to understand, but are too scared to pursue. His dark brows are raised, as if to pose a question and his lips are ever so slightly open, as if the question should have already left. You take a hint of a second to notice how his stubble is coming in on his jawline and above his lip before snapping back to assess his earnest and reflective eyes. His whole face suddenly shuts down as he looks away toward his desk again. Incredulous and internally screaming, you instinctively place a hand on his arm. You don’t want to read into it too much but you know above all else, you want to help.

“Oh, I see.” You state, matter-of-factly. “You think there should be more benches to lay down and nap on during the day.” Your words come together like you’ve finally pieced some elaborate puzzle together. You loosen up at your assessment of the situation and flash Damien a broad smile. “And you know what? I second you on that, there should be mandatory siesta time every single day. We could take ours right now!” There’s a reason you don’t write bits or jokes, but you’re committed to this one in hopes that you can release Damien from whatever hell just overcame him. You wrap your hand around his arm and guide him to the fabric-padded benches behind your desks. You dramatically plop down to keep the show going and gently pull his arm to motion him to sit next to you. “Isn’t this better?” You sigh happily. You worry you’ve been clinging to him too long but he seemed to melt into your touch as you timidly place your head on his shoulder. Feeling his muscular upper arm was a heaven in itself. You begin to gingerly stroke it with your thumb, absentmindedly.

“Much better,” he muses. Damien rests his head on top of yours and you can feel his soft, brown hair resting on your curls. “This all the time would make it better. 100% perfect.”

“This?” you ask, almost naively. Disrupting your position, you look up at him, asking the question again with your eyes and wondering if “this” is what he was asking with his just moments ago.

“Oh, absolutely.” Damien smiles out of the corner of his mouth. “....and...if you wanna meet me at the park Friday afternoon I think “this” could keep going.” You narrowly caught his quickly spilled words and your face went from pleading to wide-eyed amusement and shock. You don’t know if he can see it, but your cheeks are set aflame. Who knew he could be this smooth?? You playfully push him away while maintaining a wonder-stricken gaze.

“Damien!!” you’re unable to let any other words come out of your mouth. You see him buckle under false pretenses as he tries to begin again.

“Well, I mean- I mean if you would like to...” he chooses his words carefully, “...I would really, really enjoy going to the park with you and spending the day together.” His smile blossoms, if a bit uneasily under the pressure, and you can’t help but let out a big, awkward honk of a laugh. This sends you both spiraling into a small fit of laughter, made worse by the extreme feelings plaguing this end of the conversation. You both finally compose yourselves and you return a hand to Damien’s forearm.

“I cannot believe you’re asking me out!! This is so surreal, I’ve had a crush on you since I started here!”

Damien’s chagrin at the first exclamation was immediately remedied to relief at the second. “I’ve had a massive crush on you too and, honestly truly I would love to take you out if you...want to...also go out with me.” He places a hand over yours, on top of his forearm, and asks the question with eyes you could answer again and again. You look away for a second to compose yourself. Reluctantly meeting his eye line again, you have to take a deep breath before continuing,

“Oh Damien I would love to.” Your smile knows no bounds and your heart couldn’t beat faster than this moment right.......

——————————————————————————

Now.

You look up the street and see Damien wave before he gets the OK from the light to cross over. He does a half-jog in one of his classic jacket/hoodie combos, a dark-colored and long-sleeved Henley tee, fitting jeans, and shoes you don’t think you’ve ever seen him wear before. His smile grows as he gets closer and you can’t begin to contain yours as he approaches.

“Hey (y/n)!” Damien says excitedly. He surprises you by pulling you into a hug. All of the nervousness you had prior quickly melts away as you’re held in the warmth of his embrace. You snuggle further into his neck and breathe in a mixture of cologne and peppermint. You both hold each other in a savored moment of feeling so lucky that you even got to this point. He breathes out a soft laugh as he positions himself to look at you before you start your trek of the park. “This. This makes it actually, 100% perfect.” You playfully roll your eyes and smile widely at how disgustingly and actually perfect this is. You take his hand and you both start off on a wonderful conversation as you take your walk in the park.

[satananon]

Satan McWrath Private Eye (Part 3)

The car ride to Otaku Island was a quiet one; neither of us wanting to be the first to talk. An awkwardness seemed to hang between us after the visit with Gold, and I couldn't but feel that it had something to do with the uncovered secrets.   

The crunching of the wheels on gravel filled the car as we turned off the highway onto the side road that ran beside the lighthouse.  It was considerably less smooth, and I saw your base yourself against the dash as we continued forward.  

Pulling the car to a stop in front of the lighthouse, I turned to you, feeling a bit awkward.  

"Listen, I know that learning things like this about someone you love can be a little hard to swallow..."  

You pulled the sun visor down, checking your face in the mirror.  " I am tougher than I look, Mr. McWrath."  You flipped it shut and turned to me, a stern look gracing the features of your face.  "I want to get to the bottom of this.  Shall we?"  

I watched as you reached for the door handle and followed in suit, placing my hat on my head once I was outside.  The lighthouse that loomed before us had seen better days, the saltwater and wind of the sea taking its toll.

Nodding to you, I step forward and lift a tentative fist to knock on the door.  We wait a few moments, but there is not a sound to be heard from inside.  I knock again, firmer this time, and the sound of shuffling is audible from the other side of the door.  

The door opened a few inches, and a pair of orange eyes stared out at them.  

"Wh- what do you want?  Whatever you are selling, I am not interested."  The individual moved to shut the door, but I jammed my foot into the doorway before he had a chance. 

"We are here to see the Admiral; Mammon Gold said you might have some information on an account he hired a few days ago."  

The orange eyes blinked a few times.  "I don't know any accountants.  Pl - please leave me in peace."  

A pressure pressed against my foot as the door an attempt to force the door shut was made again, but this time I was prepared.  I pushed my shoulder against the door, my voice dropping low.  

"I recommend you let us in, Leviathan, I would hate to have to unleash my wrath on your front door.  It's rather difficult to keep people out when you can't shut the door."

There was a reluctant sigh escaping from the figure, and the door swung open to reveal a thin man with startling purple hair. 

"Come in if you must, but let's make this brief.  I have more important things to do than let you waste my time."  He turned and walked into the dim light of the room and calling as he went along. "Make yourself decent Henry; it appears we are to play hosts to some unexpected company.  

I motioned for you to follow as I step over the threshold and into the lighthouse.  Once inside, we found ourselves in a strange room, strewn with comic books and newspapers on every available surface.  Around the walls ran what appeared to be an elaborate tubing system connected to several fish bowls around the room.  

"This is an... er... interesting set up you have here," I comment as I watch

Levithan shares what appears to be a conspiratorial look with a small goldfish occupying one of the bowls on the far side of the room.  

"It suits our needs," he responds in kind as he turns back towards us.  "Now, what is it that you wanted to talk with me about."

"Gold said that you recommended an accountant to you.  Quiet and willing to work under the table."  

Leviathan walked over to a small wingback chair surrounded by several stacks of comic books bearing the caption, "Rui Chan."  

"I-I might recall such an accountant.  Real private type, didn't butt into my business."  

I pull my notebook out once more and start jotting down notes.  "And how is it that you found yourself associated with such a person."

Levithan averted his gaze.  "Such services are provided for me by my employer.  I have a need, and the need is met.  I don't really know where the help is acquired, just who sends them."  

I took a minute to observe his demeanor.  Levithan seemed nervous and a bit shifty, not precisely the type who goes around kidnapping random accountants.  I turn to you, sharing a look that implies that you had come to the same conclusion.  

"And who exactly would that employer be?" I hedged as I brought my gaze back around to him.  

"I th-think it is time for you to leave."  Levithan sprung from his chair, his nerves getting the better of him.  

You step back towards the door, uncomfortable with the situation, but I take a few steps forward.  

"This is a lovely fish you have here," I say as I admire the goldfish in the bowl in front of me.  "Sure would be a shame if something were to happen to him."  I lunge forward, grabbing a hold of one of the tubes connected to the bowl.  

"Henry, NO!"  Levithan lunged towards me prepared to push me away from the bowl but stopped short as he noticed the determined look in my eyes.  "Please, don't hurt Henry."

"Everyone can get out of this unscathed, just tell me who you work for."  

Hesitating for a moment, he looked back and forth between the fish and myself.  

"Fine, fine, I'll tell you anything just leave him alone."

I stepped back, and he rushed forward, defensively folding his body around the bowl.  He began to coo at the fish, and I turned to you, shaking my head.  

"Spill it, Admiral."

Levithan turned back around, malice in his gaze.  "I work for Big Lu, the Peacock.  I collect intel for him, and he lets me live here rent-free, making sure I stay well cared for." 

I can't help but raise an eyebrow.  The Peacock was no chump, and hearing such a big name wrapped up in a case about a missing account brought more than a few questions to mind.  

"What's a big wig like Lu want with a run of the mill accountant." 

"I d-don't know.  I don't ask questions; I just do what He asks," Levithan replied, making sure to keep his position between me and the fishbowl.

"Alright, so, where do I find Big Lu these days?"  

"I am not privy to that kind of information," he insists.  "But, I do remember hearing something about him going to see that big lounge singer downtown at the Lust Palace."  

"Asmodeus?" you interject, and I turn to you, eyebrows raising.  "I heard about him on the radio," you add with a shrug.

"Y-Yeah, that's the one," Levithan agrees, nodding his head adamantly.  "He and Big Lu had some kind of arrangement going on, and Lu is set on collecting."

I jot down a few more notes and shove the notebook back in my pocket.  "Sounds like The Peacock has his eggs in a few nests around town, doesn't it?"  

I rub my chin thoughtfully before tipping my hat at The Admiral.  "Thanks for your time, we shall leave you to care for your...erm... fish."

Turning, I loop arm through yours and lead you to the door.  "Let's get out of here in case the crazy is contagious."  We share a conspiratorial smile and push our way out the door into the twilight.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Levithan stared daggers at the door as it shut behind them.  

"That no-good McWrath," he spat as he turned back to Henry, "He's always sticking his nose where it doesn't belong."  

He reached for a tub of fish food sitting on the nearby table and shook some into the bowl Henry was occupying.  

"He's getting to close Henry.  I think it's time we sound the warning bell so that someone can take care of your dear Satan." Part One Part Two

[fursasaida]

this is totes random sorry pls feel free to ignore but is there a 'STATE' that's completely independent from like elected government, heads of state, partisan politics etc.. like what's this state that some ppl talk abt that doesn't include the elected president? e.g."korea and france have greater deference to state." is there polisci literature/concept on this? what is this STATE that doesn't include the president or CDC head nominated by said president? im sorry im just so ignorant of polisci

This is not at all an ignorant question! This is a huge issue people argue about--maybe less in poli sci than in other social sciences, because poli sci has gone so completely up its own quantitative ass that it has abandoned what should be its obvious theoretical domain and so other disciplines have kind of taken over this kind of question. There are full professors who cannot answer this question (I know because some of them are on my listservs).

So: what is the state. Seriously, really, there is no one widely accepted answer to this. So I’ll go through a few of them under the cut for you. This ended up being really long because it’s something I’ve been thinking about lately, so the simplest, shortest answer to your question is the first one.

1. Institutions

In this view, “the state” means the institutions and bureaucracy that stay on when political leadership changes. The political leadership is called either “the regime” when we want to imply it’s evil or “the administration” or “the government” when we don’t. (I think this terminology is silly and “the regime” should mean the whole arrangement plus some other things--as in a regime of power--without negative or positive implications, but I don’t make the rules.)

Obviously these two things are not firewalled apart. Elected officials can alter the state through policy and/or direct reforms (creating, merging, or eliminating existing state organizations), and the existing state can constrain what elected officials can do through anything from ethics laws to bureaucratic foot-dragging. (In the US context, when we talk about “political appointees,” we mean high-level officials in “the state” that get appointed by elected leaders, but they take over organizations generally staffed by people who have come up through the bureaucracy and are supposed to be “apolitical,” i.e. just there to do a technical/bureaucratic job. So that’s another way that the two blur.) A great example of this would be what happened with the US’s Syria policy under Trump. Trump (”the administration”) wanted to pull out of Syria. The Pentagon, The State Department, various diplomatic branches, etc. (”the state”) did not. The state succeeded in putting him off executing his desired policy for years, even though as the Commander In Chief Trump in theory had really extensive authority to do whatever he wanted. Eventually he exercised that authority and state officials found themselves scrambling madly to try and salvage something of their preferred policy, which is how the US military ended up with this ridiculous non-presence in NE Syria. Another example would be the attempt to take down the USPS.

That’s why partisan politics and elected leaders are excluded from “the state” in this view; “the state” forms the organizational containers that those movements and individuals fill, and the structures they seek to act on or act from. You can think of it like the ground they stand on. This doesn’t have to mean it is itself “apolitical,” since the terrain has implications for everyone standing on it, but it is the object or delivery channel of politics, not politics itself. (Again I don’t agree with this, but it’s what you’re seeing reflected in the discourse you’re talking about.)

When people go on about “the deep state” they’re espousing a conspiratorial version of this view, where they think the ~real behind-the-scenes power lies in these institutions and the long-term bureaucrats who (sometimes) staff and run them. Definitely some power does lie there, but the conspiracists overweigh this into an Elders of Zion type thing.

2. A sovereign entity.

This is more about distinguishing states from other kinds of political entities, and as a result it’s less concerned with fine distinctions about what is and isn’t “political.” The idea is that there are lots of political structures and systems in the world (anything from tribal law to international associations like NATO) but not all of them are states. States are distinguished from other things by virtue of sovereignty. The classic definition (from Max Weber) of sovereignty is “a monopoly on the legitimate use of violence within a clearly bounded territory.” In other words, a state’s police, military, national guard, security forces, etc. have a license to use violence within its borders that no one else has--anyone else engaging in violence is a criminal. It is these groups’ status as “agents of the state” that grants them this license. The bordered, yes/no territorial nature of this status--Turkish security forces have no mandate to act in Greece and vice versa--is also distinctive; fixed, defined, cartographic borders are not necessarily a given. In this view, all power and indeed all law is ultimately founded in violence (enforcement), so what matters is who/what can use force with impunity. (When the state’s monopoly on force is challenged in its territory--e.g., Hizballah making war on Israel without the Lebanese army, the original Zapatistas forming a breakaway region during the Mexican Civil War, or any occupation by a foreign force--then the state’s sovereignty is “weakened” or “under attack,” etc.)

Lots of people have criticized and elaborated on this definition. I don’t want to go on forever about all the critiques that exist, but basically in reality, sovereignty is not a yes/no binary where either you have it completely or you don’t have it at all. Things tend to be more mixed and blurry. It also has more dimensions: two important examples are 1) controlling and disposing of the territory itself (exploiting natural resources, moving people around, etc.), and 2) recognition. In many cases, the difference between a state and a non-state is whether other states recognize it as such, i.e. act like it is one. So for example, the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus exercises sovereignty and has a state bureaucracy, elections, etc., but because it is not recognized by ~the international community~ it isn’t “a state.” (This isn’t just semantics; it may seem arbitrary when you just think about what goes on inside the TRNC, but when its citizens try to emigrate, for example, they encounter very specific, concrete problems on this basis--e.g., their passports will not be recognized as valid.)

I find this more useful personally, especially because it doesn’t assume a liberal democratic state--it can apply to a dictatorship or a monarchy or whatever you like. But in practice, i.e. how people use it, I still think this approach is frequently too worried about pinning down differences that aren’t always useful. On the one hand, I wrote my BA thesis about how Hamas and Hizballah aren’t states (it was common for a while to refer to them as “states within states”) while also not just being political parties, terrorist organizations, service providers, or any of the other things they get tagged with, precisely because of the way they relate to the Palestinian and Lebanese states. This is worth understanding because it helps explain their political projects and their successes. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s very helpful to go around arguing that, say, ISIS was a state (or state-like) and the Houthis are not because of some detail of how they think/thought about territory, or courts, or bureaucracy. Like what do you get out of making that distinction. If you want to argue that a tribal council somewhere is “the state” for its context I think that’s fine depending on what you’re trying to get at. It all depends on what kind of question you want to answer, and on what scale.

3. There’s no such thing.

This view recognizes that the state is a salad bowl full of different organizations, individuals, ideologies, etc. that do not actually all work in lockstep together or have the same goals. To talk about “the state” is to reinforce the fallacy of unified power and cooperation. Instead, we should recognize that actors within states have their own agendas, institutional cultures, power struggles, etc., and that whatever the state does is the outcome of 1) these internal dynamics, 2) the ability of different external actors (from citizens to foreign governments) to play on/appeal to/push back against different pieces of the state, and 3) the interactions of 1 and 2.

This to me is common sense. You just have to be careful not to take it too far. We can acknowledge that the state is internally differentiated/not any one single thing without going so far away from what most people understand about their worlds. There’s no point saying “there’s no such thing as a state” when people still have to pay taxes.

4. "The state effect,” or: there both is and is not any such thing

This idea, put forward by Tim Mitchell, is my favorite. It is also the subtlest, and a little tricky to explain, but I think it’s the most useful.

This view steps back and looks at all the endless, elaborate debates about every possible nicety of “stateness” and says: perhaps we are asking the wrong question here. Maybe it doesn’t matter what the state is. Maybe it matters what the state seems to be; how it seems to be that; and what “resources of power” are generated by these impressions.

This is the tricky explanation part, so bear with me for a few paragraphs.

Where exactly do we draw the line between “the state” and “civil society”? Are NGOs and nonprofits part of the state? What if they get government funding? Especially in a neoliberal context, when so much policymaking is done through contractors, consultants, tax breaks, etc., are these kinds of organizations not carrying out the state’s agenda, consciously or otherwise? Okay, that’s tough, let’s try something easier: individual people and families aren’t the state. But if a household depends on an income from state employment, does that not affect their politics and their actions in society? Is a person “part of the state” in one building and not in another? How do we account for the way off-duty cops behave, for example, then? You can do this same exercise for “the economy” or any of the other things that are supposedly separate things/domains that the state manages. How can, e.g., the American economy be separate from the state when the state prints and guarantees the currency, sets interest rates, enforces contracts, and generally sets the terms on which the economy can exist? (Going back to your original question, you could probably also do this same exercise re: political parties, or partisanship.)

The point here is not that absolutely everything is actually the state. The point is also not that there is no state. It’s that there are not firm lines. Amazon may be the state when it builds systems for the Pentagon even though it is also, clearly, a private company and not part of the state’s institutions or subject to the same kinds of political controls that state institutions are. Similarly, the state itself is not one smooth solid object (as in #3). But it seems obvious, common sense, that “the economy” is a thing, just as “public health” is a thing, etc., and both of these things are objects of state management/governance/power.

This makes it easy for political leadership to make claims on the basis of these other things as separate “objects.” I.e., “we need to take drastic action to save the economy.” So the impression of these divisions can be used to justify or legitimate state action. You can see this super clearly in the current coronavirus situation. How many times have we been told the US has to “reopen” for “the economy,” and how many times has it been pointed out that the government could just take its own economic measures to allow people to stay home--because “the economy” is not some separate object that works by itself. (I myself had to explain to a friend that the government couldn’t just switch the economy back on by “reopening.” I think we underestimate how powerful these conceptual divisions really are in people’s understanding of how the world works.)

So, therefore, “the state” is the effect of ideas and practices that make things that political leaders and institutions do seem like they form a freestanding, separate structure, a thing, that we call “the state.” It is the ensemble of all these pieces (as noted in #3), and said pieces often include things that are generally thought of as not the state; these lines between state/nonstate shift all the time. What matters is not where the line is at any given moment but what the particular configuration allows state power (including the consideration of force from #2 and the structural concerns from #1) to do.

The problem I have with this is that it doesn’t really account for state capacity very well, but that’s for another day because I haven’t figured it out via paper-writing yet.

[pastelninjaimagines]

This is so many letters but: A B D E G K M X Z for Obito please?✌️🥺✌️

Obito

Ahhhhh the og husband, yaassss

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Obito will follow you around like a goddamn lost puppy. Whatever you wanna do, whatever your hobbies are, you can count on him to wanna do them with you and try new stuff out. He’s adventurous so trying new things together is something he immensely enjoys. He really does like exploring new places, so if you like traveling than you’re a match made in heaven.

For a more modern au, he would loveeee to go on cross-country road trips. Just spend a couple weeks and see what there is to explore. Also amusement parks are an absolute must. Would also like something more low key like going to see a movie on a rainy day. And can you say board games? Bc this man is the king of board games. Watch him crushing it at monopoly out there

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Ok so he loves literally everything about you. There’s nothing he doesn’t admire. Literally. Your personality, your looks. He loves it all and worships you like the god/goddess you are. A few things he admires specifically is your kindness and compassion. The fact that you overlook his flaws, both physically and personality-wise, and how accepting of him you are, literally blows his mind all the time. Sometimes he has to pinch himself to make sure that he’s not dreaming you up. Your compassion for him and for others is incredible to him and so endearing that it makes him love you more. As for a physical trait that he loves, it’s definitely your soft smile and kind eyes. Just the way you look at him sends butterflies in his stomach and makes him as giddily nervous as a schoolboy. You’re his precious sunshine and he wants to protect your beautiful smile. 

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

All this man wants is a peaceful, happy future with the love of his life DEAR GOD PLS GIVE THIS TO HIM he just wants to be happy!!! Like his top-tier fantasy is the two of you living in a decently sized house, away from others (but not too distant) living comfortably, maybe with a kid or two running around. Top-tier stuff fam, he’s gushy and pretty simple with his wants

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

So, he’s sort of a switch when it comes to relationship dominance. He likes his way and can be incredibly head-strong (an Uchiha gene), but he also wants to make you happy and often puts your happiness above his own. Sometimes these two opposing feelings conflict and he can feel a bit muddled, but he really does try to make everything an equal partnership. 

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Ok, Obito is beyond grateful for you. You brought softness and love back into his life. You taught him what it is to feel happiness again. Like, you were a gift he didn’t think he deserved. He fuckng loves you. He knows he’s beyond lucky to keep you around and he’s very aware of the color you brought to his dull, dreary existence. YOU ARE HIS TREASURE and he tells you literally all the time how blessed he feels that your paths collided. Trust me, he’ll never shut up about it. You’re very aware he’s grateful for having you. 

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

At first he had 0 (zero) idea what he was doing with kissing. Like homeboy was as inexperienced as you could possibly get. However, he’s a quick study. He picked up what was goin on. After feeling his way through the motions, he’s a damn good kisser. He just has a way of making your head swoon with just a simple kiss. Also neck kisses. He’s a fine connoisseur of neck kisses. Knows how to give em, and loveesss receiving them. Also if you kiss him on the nose, he’ll die of happiness. 

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

this right here kinda depends on whether we’re talking about canon Obito, or post-canon au Obito where he somehow lived lmao bc those two answers are wildly different. If we’re talking strictly canon Obito, no he has no desire to get married whatsoever. He’s sort of living in this quasi-reality state, and while he loves you, he hates tradition and thinks of marriage as pointless

Now AU post-canon Obito, hell yeah he wants to marry you! You put up with him? You love him? He’s putting a ring on you asap! 

He plans this whole elaborate plan to propose to you that may or may not go completely awry. He imagines the moonlight filtering down, him leading you down a secluded that ends in the areas he set up to pop the question decorated ahead of time with glittering lights and an exorbitant amount of your favorite flowers. Now of course he couldn’t predict the weather. He was already nervous as hell, hands shaking, a cold sweat down his back. And just as he’s about to lead you to the flowery oasis he spent hours decorating, it begins to pour buckets of rain like heaven decided to let out a second flood. You’re both all dressed up, soaking wet within a minute, however you’re already at the spot, he’s got the ring in his pocket. He thinks to himself, fuck it, and gets down on one knee anyway. A little rain won’t stop him from asking you to share the rest of your lives together

Marriage with Obito is pretty blissful. Sure you’re both kinda outcasts (bc of his past and all) but you’re incredibly happy. His mission in life is to make you as happy as possible. And that’s what he does. He’s incredibly kind, pretty goofy and always keeps you entertained with his antics that normally go not-as-planned. 

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

After you two have officially established your relationship, he becomes incredibly affectionate, most to the point where he’s borderline clingy. He was touched starved as all hell before you came along. Once he gets a little taste of affection he’ll be clinging to you when you guys are alone like a sloth clings to a tree. You’ll have to pry him off of you. It’s honestly pretty cute. Pls give him head massages it’s his literal favorite thing while you guys are cuddling together. He also really loves pulling you onto his lap and showering you with kisses. Just pls give him affection he deserves it. 

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

It’s painfully canon how far Obito is willing to go for the one he loves. Will he start a world war for you? Yes. Will he consider ending the universe for you? Double yes. but in all seriousness, Obito loves you. He doesn’t wanna lose the best and brightest thing in his life. He would literally do anything for you and your safety. Because you’re his whole world and he wants to protect his sunshine.

[the-nysh]

AHHHH! Just got back from finally seeing Heroes Rising! 8D Oh man, that was definitely a big-screened flashy action movie to experience, with great class cohesion and teamwork, and especially with Deku and Kacchan as the stars. Going in, I already knew what was going to happen (couldn’t resist spoiling myself silly), but it still had me chuckling along to all the fun nods/refs to things and grinning like a huge idiot by the end of it. :D More details and extended impressions as follows:

It really gets me that nowadays we can just…waltz into a theater and watch subbed anime movie screenings (which was the version I saw) alongside other current films. :O That’s just amazing to me. Cause gosh, back in the day, that was either completely unheard of, or you had to drive 100miles to a fancy arthouse theater just to see dubbed releases of -only- Miyazaki movies (with month-long reserved/ordered tickets). This is so much preferable now (it’s a very good thing!), and I certainly hope this trend for more accessible anime content continues!

Anyway, saw the movie with family: sister (only watches the anime) and mom (never seen any bnha, but wanted to be included anyway~) At first we had the entire theater to ourselves at a 9:45pm showing, until like 5 min before, then several other groups came in. (So hhhh ;o; had to refrain from making any loud reactions/commentary otherwise.)  

Some of the best comments from my mom were how she kept leaning over to me and asking where the ‘guy with the wings’ (Hawks) was. X’D This is great and hilarious to me. He only showed up a few times to investigate the villains, figure out what’s wrong, and fly over with pending professional help to the island. So to my mom, it was a matter of ‘when will he come to save the kids!?’ Aha nice. His Japanese voice was deeper than expected, but I could still hear the Mumen Rider (opm) inflections from his voice actor. :D Definitely excited to see more of him formally animated in the series. Later, my mom also commented how the villain (Nine) was good-looking, buaha! (I mean hey, Shiggy was there too! 8D) I’d given her a crash-course on bnha lore before the movie, so it’s amusing to me how these were some of her unique takeaways. She also felt how after Deku told the kids ‘you can be a hero,’ that they already were cause they demonstrated that same bravery. :’)

For my sister, by the end she was like, ‘they should have just done fusion!’ Noting how Deku and Kacchan already went with the dbz looks, so heh why not. :P She noted how odd it was that Kacchan could use OfA immediately (when it took Deku several hours to…digest the hair before it could set in), so I had to clarify it was transferred by blood this time. She also wondered how Deku could gain even greater power with OfA after transferring it, and welp it’s mostly movie magic so whatever, but I could not resist flat-out saying, ‘BECAUSE THEY SOUL-BONDED~’ (And that’s as far as I was openly willing to push it with the bkdk agenda, guahaha.) Lingering convos included stuff about OfA mechanics (more odd inconsistencies with the vestiges somehow willing it back) and me mentioning Hori’s original idea to end the series with, all that good stuff. But most of all, to even have the movie tie back into the main (manga) storyline cleanly somehow, these types of explanations/solutions to things had to be done anyway, so it’s honestly another whatever/no big; it works as a self-contained flashy movie. (And honestly not as bad as some impressions made it seem; instead, how certain things wrapped up here felt negligible to me.)

As for ME, woohoo oh I definitely liked it and had a fun time! :D I didn’t know if I’d get the chance to see it in theaters (schedule conflicts) but ayyy I felt it was worth it! Immediately from the intro car-chase with Endeavor (yooo), it was all high-budget, quality action movie stuff. The two kids were endearing with active roles which I appreciated. I was also greatly impressed by how cohesive and responsible all the classmates were. You could just tell how closely they knew each other (and their quirks) and could work efficiently as a well-oiled unit when disaster strikes. Evacuating and providing for the islanders and coming up with elaborate battle plans, and all without any adult heroes present. :O Each had their moment to shine, with some very cool class combo moves too. Favs were Uraraka and Sero’s boulder throwing spam, and Kiri bodily shielding Todo from a hugeass high-beam laser like in Evangelion (YOOOOO?!?! that was cool!) Dark Shadow with wolverine claws was pretty sweet too.  

Of course, personal favs were the Kacchan (+Deku) moments. Deku was a good babey throughout but…but KACCHAN. ;A; Featuring the shades of Kacchan I love to see. :’D (Also Denki said a line like, ‘Kacchan of the Bakugous’ buahaha wtf!) When he’s silently observant (listening to Deku talk to the kid about their hero dreams, to the point his popsicle melts off ;o;), intensely serious (making it very clear to the kids he’s for real about efficiently working as a hero after they mess around/cry wolf with him), gruffly supportive (encouraging Deku in his own way to ‘make it his own’ asap :’3) and…he’s still got his signature short fuse temper of course (that explodes in comical ways, heh even my mom laughed at him) plus the awesome moments when he frees himself from a villain then promptly beats his ass. 8D But…I personally loved the smaller, but very telling, protective moments. Like when the girl signaled Deku was in trouble, Kacchan was immediately RIGHT THERE to blast Nine in the face (omgg), how he caught/saved the girl when she went flying (while Deku was on the attack instead), AND my fav: how when they were both fighting Nine, Deku got distracted worrying about the other classmates fighting elsewhere, but Kacchan kicked him out of the way from getting hurt by lasers (so ahhh!! he’s actively looking out for Deku and staying on top of things so they both keep their heads in the game. :’D) Just MANY good Kacchan moments to appreciate. <3

AND then the big bkdk handhold, OfA transfer, epic + emotional team up. (Ever since the first previews/impressions, I’m still stunned they actually did all that on the big screen!) At this point I was internally squealing and had the dumbest grin on my face but didn’t even care. 8’D I WAS READY! Nakamura’s animation was like…byuuujjgghh *brain turns off* Honestly it was hard to even SEE what was happening on screen besides huge swathes of molten heat and green electricity flying everywhere, totally and awesomely over the top. Ahaha definitely worth seeing again just for that! I got feels for the ‘it’s fine if it’s you’ line :’))), and in the aftermath, loved it when Deku’s first thought upon regaining consciousness was to ask All Might if Kacchan’s ok. (omggg heh, Deku pls! :’D)

Overall, the movie had a simple, straightforward storyline to follow, fantastic action and teamwork to enjoy, and plenty of tidbits and character moments for current fans to heartily eat up. No question about the Kacchan and bkdk service as well. Left me feeling very giddy as a fan and glad I was able to catch it in theaters. Now I can’t wait to see when gifsets of all those fun moments get made!

[jin-guang-ow]

Hot damn those MoShang headcanons were top tier sksksks, but like jealous SQH?? And jealous MBJ??? yes pls, jealous SQH sounds so cute tho omlll, 10/10 need more headcanons on that pls and thank

SORRY THIS IS LIKE MAYBE A MONTH LATE BUT YOU KNOW STUFF HAPPENS orz and I literally sat there like that one moment in Spongebob where he just sits there writing and you’re like oh wow he did so much work BUT NOPE HE JUST MADE A VERY FANCY ‘THE’ AND THAT’S WHAT I DID FOR THE PAST MONTH (or like 2 weeks idk time doesn’t exist for me rn)

BUT OH WOW I LOVE THE JEALOUSY ONES AND MAYBE I’VE JUST BEEN SITTING HERE KEEPING IT ALL TO MYSELF SO I CAN LOVE AND CHERISH MY SHIP ALL BY MYSELF??? :)))) anyways on to the good stuff *v*

I just want to see Shang QingHua try to “protect” MoBei Jun… Or rather try to cover him? Like, please don’t look at him, he’s mine??? But it’s too cute thinking about smol and elegant (and v weak hahaha) Shang QingHua stepping in front of scary demon lord MBJ in a fit of jealousy.

But I also think MBJ would do that to SQH (and probably be more successful at it???) so my brain immediately thought that they would endlessly do that in a sort of crack way?? Constantly stepping in front of the other like excuse me please don’t look here??

LIKE SERIOUSLY THERE’S JUST A GROUP OF V PRETTY WOMEN OR SOMETHING AND THEY HAVEN’T REALLY COME TO TERMS WITH THEIR FEELINGS SO THEY’RE BOTH JUST TRYING TO TAKE THE ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE OTHER AND THEY BOTH MISUNDERSTAND???? AND THEY JUST DO THAT UNTIL THEY’RE LIKE COMPLETELY OUT OF THE TOWN OR SOMETHING???? (and then MBJ just carries SQH away with SQH protesting the whole time uwu)

I guess slightly elaborating on the past headcanon (MBJ trying to gift SQH some sweet, sweet human goods to woo him) were MBJ is v carefully looking at fans, trying to figure out which ones SQH would like the most. Our clueless about love demon lord would probably even ask SQH which ones he prefers, which only fuels SQH’s growing jealousy. Excuse me, you want me to pick out your gifts for another person??? but still helps because… well it’s more of an automatic response than anything. MBJ immediately hands the items to him, and says nothing more about it because he’s a secret v shy virgin boy.

So SQH prepares all this elaborate and beautiful boxing for the items that he assumes are gifts for one very specific Shizun that somehow caused everyone to fall in love with him. He’s pretty confused by his sudden irritation, but WHY WOULD HE ACTUALLY ACCEPT HIS OWN FEELINGS??? So SQH is just p irritated by himself.

MBJ doesn’t understand. He gave SQH the very good human items to woo him, yet he is not wooed. This requires further investigation.

Further investigation obviously means bothering BingQiu, who may or may not be more knowledgeable in this arena (hint: they aren’t). Shang QingHua follows for optimal supervision since he’s v curious as to what the fuck is going on (and to give gifts because he’s a good servant like that). ANYWAYS, so MBJ drags LBH away immediately and he’s like “Bro, the fans didn’t work.” which really puts BingBing’s brain to the test… “Did you try crying?” MBJ questions the integrity of the only person stronger than him in that moment (BUT WHO HAS A HUSBAND AND WHO DOESN’T, HUuuUUUuuUUuuUUuuUuuuUUUuuUuuHHHhhhHhhH???)

Meanwhile, the two modern bros are left alone. Queue our very jealous Airplane Bro interrogating Cucumber Bro with an assortment of boxes placed in front of them. “Why is my king buying you all sorts of gifts??!” and Cucumber Bro is just v confused and has to explain that there is absolutely nothing going on.

“Then why did he give me these fans?”

“Are you that fucking stupid?”

“Who are you calling fucking stupid? You turned all of my sons gay, how could I not think this was that case?”

“Which sons did I turn gay??? Maybe you just wrote the characters so poorly that they couldn’t help but fall in love with the first decent person they met?”

SQH is v awestruck for a good few minutes… “That’s not the point! Why would he give me fans and clothes?”

“Please don’t make me answer that…”

SQH, v embarrassed about everything, starts putting away all the boxes, but not before the other two return. Of course the two tactless beings just start opening them, leaving SQH extra embarrassed.

“Why did you bring these?” MBJ asks, his tone slightly displeased.

“Ah, you see… I was so happy to receive these from my king that I wanted to show them to someone who was well versed in the quality of such objects.”

SQQ commends Airplane Bro on his ability to lie through his teeth, truly he has some skills. MBJ IMMEDIATELY PULLS SQH AWAY, EXCUSE US VERY MUCH WE HAVE VERY IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO NOT HERE SORRY BYE

Feel free to imagine whatever you want here

Bonus!

“My king, I do appreciate the gifts, but I don’t really care for fans this much,” Shang Qinghua comments, carefully sorting through the mountain of boxes. He suddenly regrets his decision to speak, feeling the air turn a particularly unfriendly level of chill.

“Then why do you always carry them around?” There was an all too familiar frown on Mobei Jun’s face that almost made Shang Qinghua laugh when he turned to face the man. Was he seriously pouting?

However, when Shang Qinghua remembered the true reason he had carried fans with him, he couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. He cleared his throat a little before replying, “Do you remember the time we first met?” Mobei Jun only nodded, clearly a bit impatient with where this was going. “That night, you were injured and came down with a fever, right? I had to go around and ask for fans so I could help you cool down. Ah… so ever since then I just got into the habit of carrying them… in case you needed them…”

The distance between the two was closed immediately. He could feel the demon lord’s strong arms embrace him, and, not knowing what to do, he grabbed the front of the other’s robes. Truly, he felt so embarrassed that he quickly buried his face in Mobei Jun’s chest, feeling the relief of the ice demon’s cool skin against his flushed cheeks. “Qinghua.”

“Yes, my king?”

“You’re making me hot all over now, how do you propose we fix this?”

[tnffc]

"You're avoiding me, right?" with Stargent? If you don't like that ship then Steter or really anything!

I like! I definitely like the ship. Buuut I don’t have any experience writing them so pls be kind with this first attempt at them. Thank you for challenging me, I like trying new things, I just often need a motivation to do so.

Also, I wrote this instead of sleeping so there is that…

I hope you still enjoy it :)

___________________________________

Someone cleared their throat next to Stiles.

He ignored it and tried to continue reading his book, if the person had a problem they would have to voice it properly.

The person, from the sound of it a guy, cleared his throat again and Stiles barely managed not to roll his eyes but decided not to be difficult today.

At least not very.

“In need of a cough drop?” he asked, still not looking up.

“I’d actually prefer a conversation with you.”

Stiles recognized the voice and flailed his arms around, dropping his book and halfway jumping out of the chair he had been sitting in.

“WHAT…the fuck dude?!”

He had yelped the first word and then hissed the rest, trying to lower his voice and not disturb the other visitors in the public library.

Chris Argent, good looking as the devil in a grey shirt, black leather jacket, tight jeans and worn out boots picked up the book Stiles had dropped, handed it back to him and then looked at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

Stiles took the book reluctantly.

There were many things he did not feel like doing right now, one very high up on his list was talking to Chris Argent. Or doing anything in general with the guy.

His lips felt dry at the thought of speaking with him.

Getting his brain to desex his thoughts when it came to Chris was hard enough as it was.

He didn’t need the real life version making it even harder.

He’d actually prefer for Chris to keep from making anything hard for him.

Because all that could result in was a lot of awkwardness and embarrassment.

He licked his lips and tried to say something.

His throat was dry too and he had to swallow twice.

“Is there some kind of way for me to not do that?”

Chris stared down at him for a moment like he was actually contemplating the question before answering dry as the desert.

“No.”

Well, great then…unless he felt like magically blasting the guy in public Stiles could hardly do anything to get out of this situation.

Physically he had not the slightest chance.

And not only because this was Chris Fucking Argent, trained as a soldier since childhood to fight opponents with superhuman strength and speed.

But also because being close to Chris, breathing in his scent, feeling his warm, strong hands on his shoulder or arm, hearing his smooth, deep voice and seeing his everything was overwhelming.

Ever since that unfortunate encounter Stiles could not undo the realisation of what a dream Chris Argent was.

It was frankly also embarrassing how long it had taken him to realize it in the first place.

Begrudgingly Stiles nodded “Okay then, I guess. You wanna do this right here?”

Chris shook his head slightly.

“I’ll buy you a coffee, I don’t want to disturb the other visitors.”

That was reasonable.

Under any other circumstances Stiles would probably have felt joy about being treated to a coffee.

Right now he mainly felt like a vaguely humanoid shaped bag of ants.

But he nodded again and let Chris take the lead.

The short walk to the closest Café was entirely silent and Stiles was purposefully trying to not think too much about what the upcoming conversation might be like.

He simply tried to remind himself to hope for the best, whatever that was and be prepared for the worst - probably embarrassment and ridicule.

They sat down in a corner as far away from the few other customers as possible.

Chris sat down first, in the spot with the best overview of the room and every door.

Stiles could sit across from Chris, having most of the room in his back, which would make him even more uncomfortable, or sit with the other wall of their corner booth in his back. Which meant there was little more than a table corner separating him from the hunter.

He decided having a wall in his back would help more with his nervosity than being close to Chris would fuel it.

The waitress came almost right away and both of them ordered coffee, black, no cream, no sugar.

Usually Stiles wasn’t one to go for that, but he didn’t feel like ordering something more elaborate, his mind was otherwise occupied.

“So…” Chris started when the young lady had left their table.

He was leaned forward, hands lying on the table, folded and giving him the impression of resolve and calm.

“You’re avoiding me, right?”

Stiles blinked and then looked down at Chris’ hands.

Not even now he could entirely shake the thoughts of what those hands could do to him.

He swallowed and nodded again before croaking “Yeah…”

Chris leaned back at that, crossing his arms.

“Do you have a problem with men having s-”

“It’s not the gay part. Jesus, I’m so straight I could pass the food industry’s beauty standards for bananas, okay?”

He saw the guy raise his eyebrows at the interruption, then tilt his head, apparently contemplating something.

Stiles wasn’t sure if he should say something else but then Chris was already speaking again.

He was clearly determined to get to the bottom of this.

“Admittedly it’d have been weird for you to be in a gay club if you had an issue with it. Ok, so you saw me fuck a guy in a club’s darkroom. What’s the problem? The fact you didn’t expect me to be interested in men? The fact your best friend is my son in law? Are you just generally uncomfortable with sex? Or nudity? I would really like to put this past us.”

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

Usually Stiles was a great liar. He was good enough by now to even fool most of the werewolves. Admittedly, Boyd and Peter could still sometimes pick up on it but he was working on that.

But right now, right here?

Anything fake he might try to say to get Chris off his track would probably not work.

He just didn’t have enough control over his body at the moment.

As if Chris had read Stiles’ thoughts - he had probably read Stiles body language instead - he reached out and took Stiles hand to place index and middle finger over his wrist, feeling his pulse.

“Tell me Stiles.”

God, that fucking voice!

How was such a simple order giving him goosebumps and making his heart beat in his head?

He tried to control his shallow breathing so it’d not turn into a panting or anything.

Should he really say it?

If he did, this conversation would probably end real quick.

At least then it’d be over, even if Chris might be the one avoiding him then.

He licked his lips and opened his mouth but couldn’t get out a tone.

He closed his mouth again and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply and calmly, organizing his thoughts.

With more determination he opened his eyes again.

Okay, he would say it.

“All right. But just know this probably won’t help making things less weird between us.”

Chris kept his serious, inquisitive expression.

“I’ll take that risk.”

“Okay….” Stiles took another deep breath and looked at Chris’ hand around his wrist while speaking.

“Before I saw you in the club all you were to me was Allison’s dad, a parent of a friend of mine. Well and a scarily skillful hunter who can hold his own in any comfrontation, no matter if physically or intellectually…so in a way a person I might have been equally intimidated, impressed and inspired by. A person I might see as a role model even.”

He licked his lips, why did they already feel so dry again?

Should he really continue?

Looking up was a mistake, because now he could not pull himself away from Chris’ intense gaze.

He started worrying his bottom lip without even registering it really.

Chris squeezed Stiles’ wrist.

“And after you saw me?”

His expression seemed a lot more vulnerable and open than moments ago.

Maybe Stiles’ words had brought down Chris’ wards a little.

Stiles wasn’t sure if he was imagining things but he felt like there was serious worry hidden underneath curiosity and confusion.

He continued.

“Afterwards…I saw you as a….a man for the first time.

Something about seeing you have sex totally pulled you out of all those former definitions in my worldview.

So far people I have known one way haven’t changed their place in my life.

Well, my love for Lydia might have changed from adolescent desire to platonic admiration and appreciation but…I would never really think of Scott as a sexual person. And the same goes for Allison, Melissa or Parrish…they’re registered as people I have absolutely no sexual thoughts towards. I am aware they have sex lives but like…that’s already more than I need to know…”

Chris nodded slowly.

“So you’re uncomfortably aware of me being a sexually active person now because before you saw me mainly as a parental figure in your life.”

Stiles brushed his hair back with his free hand.

“Y…yeah?”

Chris raised his brows at that.

“That was a lie…what aren’t you telling me Stiles.”

Fucking hell!

Fuck this! Fuck Chris!

“Shit…okay, look…I’m less uncomfortably aware and more uncomfortably turned on by it, okay? There you have it. I never before thought of you as fuckable or dateable. Not because you aren’t pretty damn smoking hot - I can barely understand how that didn’t register to me before - but because you were really really firmly placed in a social box labeled ‘parents’.”

He was finally able to look away from Chris face and stared down on the table.

There was his coffee.

He hadn’t even noticed the waitress bringing it over.

But there it was, black and still steaming a little.

He felt like ingesting anything right now would turn his stomach inside out.

He heard Chris’ voice next to him and was surprised at the slight amusement in its tone.

“I think the same might be happening to me right this moment.”

Stiles looked up in confusion and was caught off guard by the heat in the man’s open stare.

“Wha-uh…what?”

Chris let go of Stiles’ hand and rubbed his neck with a guilty, reluctant smile.

“I did not expect that to be your answer Stiles. I mean…you are right, you are a friend of my daughter. I would have never looked at you and seen a person whose sex life would be of any concern or interest to me…I suppose we are both a little guilty of putting the other in a box we might not really fit in anymore.”

It was Stiles turn to tilt his head with an inquisitive expression.

“Is this going where I think it is going, Chris?”

Chris’ mouth twitched into something similar to a smirk for a moment before he answered, looking close to serious, but not quite.

“I don’t know Stiles…but I might have an answer for you when you tell me in what kind of situation you think of me as a sexually active person.”

The corners of Stiles’ mouth twitched as well.

“Are you asking if I ever jerked off to the memory of you pounding that guy against the fucking wall?”

Something in Chris’ eyes lit up at that question and Stiles could feel Chris press their knees against each other under the table.

“Yes.”

A weird mix of excitement and fear washed over Stiles.

Was he really actively flirting with Chris Argent?

Was Chris Motherfucking Argent actively flirting with him?

Apparently.

“Well in that case; Yes. I’ve not been able to picture much else lately. I might have had a few daydreams in which it was me you’re fucking.”

Chris made a noise that seemed like a half choked groan.

“I should have known you’d be good at talking about filthy things. I’d have so much fun getting you to that headspace where you’re beyond language.”

At that Stiles had to full on grin.

“I think nobody ever told me so roundabout they’d love to get me to shut up.”

Chris flashed a grin back.

“Oh no Stiles, I’d want you to be vocal, don’t worry.”

They shared a silent moment so filled with sexual tension it had to be palpable.

Then Stiles inhaled and exhaled a deep, shaky breath.

“Okay so…your place?”

Chris took a breath as well and nodded.

“Sounds good.”