#pls check out Logical Proposals

[chees3ymold]

Random TF Doodles + Logical Proposal Doodle

just found out TF Inktober existed, unfortunately, I join late :(

so I drew the first 2 prompts (fav Autobot/s and fav Decepticon/s)

on another note, I doodled one of my fav moments in Logical Proposals by @/vivificanousprime (specifically on chapter 5, where Shockwave makes his stalker guide dictionary)

[bringmefoxgloves]

I want to talk about someone we don’t talk a lot about as the Saw fandom: Zep Hindle, secondary antagonist of Saw (2004).

I propose Zep Hindle was John Kramer’s ultimate, ideal, first Apprentice and is, in fact, a mirror of John Kramer himself.

What? I can hear you saying. That little twerp? He got his head bashed in with a toliet lid! Pssshhhh, no way. Well, let me explain. This is partially based off some convos I had with Adrian @adrianicsea, so much of this absolute buffoonery was egged on and supported by him in reaction to my characterization of Zep my wip. And then I took this concept and ran with it. Thank you Adrian! EDIT: also pls pls pls check out Tibby and mine’s convo down in the replies to this post! Once again this is an evolving theory that welcomes inputs and corrections!

This all might be wildly wrong but.... I’m going to hit send anyways. I won’t subject you all to scrolling past a (super) long post like my last meta (this is even longer!!!!! it’s so fucking longgggg), so this is all going under a cut.

Zep is an under utilized and under explored character, and the possibilities of his character, and his very character itself, echo so much of John Kramer (it’s ridiculous!). But let’s back up and consider what little is shown to us about him in Saw (2004). What we do see of him is important. 

Let’s review what we do know: Zep worked as a hospital orderly, and met John Kramer while he was there for treatment. Zep is apparently dismissed and forgotten in his workplace, as evident by Lawrence and the medical students’ treatment of him. Zep defends John from Lawrence’s dismissive comments, calling John an ‘interesting man’ and an ‘artist.’ 

His test is a fairly simple one, and consists of him being poisoned (of which there is an antidote held by John), monitoring the cameras, and is tasked with killing Alison and Diana should Lawrence fail to met a certain timeline in killing Adam. When he is diverted and stopped in that task by Detective Tapp, he goes to the bathroom, and attempts to kill Lawrence, assuming Adam is already dead, in a bid to pass his test and receive the antidote. He is killed by Adam.

So, that all appears very clear cut and straight forward seeming, right? Well, let’s look at that a little closer.

Let’s look at his test, perhaps the most central aspect to his character in the movie. 

We don’t ever see how his test begins, unlike Adam and Lawrence, just that he arrives at the Gordon’s house early enough that Adam captured him on his camera. This tells us a few things.

First, this gives us a rough timeline of when his test begins. 

He is poisoned and receives his tape before he goes to the Gordon’s house (why else would he be there?) and is there long enough before Adam is taken, to be captured on film by Adam. Adam develops his photo (in the batch we are shown that includes Lawrence’s close up on his face he hangs up) before he is captured, as his photo appears in the bathroom to lead Lawrence and Adam to their identification of Zep. That means Zep’s test begins before Pigface (Amanda) shows up at Adam’s apartment.

It’s also clear, his capture and tying up of Alison and Diana happens before Adam and Lawrence’s test starts. How else would the polaroid picture end up in Lawrence’s wallet? Zep clearly took the picture, after tying up Lawrence’s family, and handed the photo off as proof he was going along with the test to either Amanda or John. This means he had contact with either of them after he starts his test, but does not harm John or Amanda or in any way tries to skirt the test.

Another option is that Amanda took the photograph, but I somehow doubt that, as Amanda doesn’t strike me as someone who wishes harm on children, judging from her behavior toward Corbin and Daniel. Another option is that John took the photo, but that also seems doubtful, as the setup of Adam and Lawrence’s test is involved and long, and he needs to be dosed and still before either of them wake up. 

So it’s only logical that Amanda got the photo from Zep, and then went to assist John in setting up the bathroom, which we see.

Aside from that, this shows the poison, then, is slow acting. It doesn’t affect his physical state much, as far as we can see. He isn’t affected, not even up to the point that he’s in the bathroom itself. We are shown in the flashback he is coughing a bit, and his breathing is slightly affected, but it’s not as serious as the poison in say, Saw II (sarin gas), as he doesn’t stumble, spit up blood or have losses of consciousness. 

So he is being propelled by the threat of dying, not the actual physical reality of dying, like those in Saw II experience.  

This also brings up the question of how exactly he was poisoned. Who poisoned him? Where?

Was it John? Or was it Amanda dressed as Pigface? Was it at his work? Somewhere else? 

It had to be injected, as John in the tape says ‘poison coursing through your blood stream,’ but beyond that, we don’t know for sure. 

I would venture it was at the hospital, in a nod to Saw 0.5, as Zep borrows David’s job as an orderly.

However, Zep must already know who John Kramer is. 

He calls him an ‘interesting man’, which means he believes John is important enough to be called by name. He has seen John’s drawings because he’s discussed with him how John is an ‘artist,’ which likely means John had explained or at least hinted at what the drawings mean. This all gives me the impression that Zep does know who John Kramer is, as the Jigsaw Killer, and might, might, tacitly approve of John Kramer’s philosophy, even then.

Yet, one of the drawings we see on the table, is the reverse bear trap. This means Amanda had not yet been tested (I’m ignoring Jigsaw, as you should too) since his drawings tend to be plans, not a way to dwell and gloat on the tests afterwards. While the timeline of Saw is confusing due to the flashbacks, this definitely takes place before Amanda’s test. 

We can tell Amanda’s test hasn’t yet been done, as we see this pattern in Saw II with all the drawings scattered around the warehouse, none of which had been executed yet. Also, this meeting takes place well before Lawrence is asked to sit in on Amanda’s interview, the earliest point Amanda could have been conceivably called an Apprentice.

That means Zep met John before Amanda was tested and became an Apprentice. 

This makes me seriously consider, did John plan on testing and making Zep Hindle his first apprentice, and Amanda just beat him to the punch by being the first to survive her test? I think so.

Furthermore, was Zep’s part of Adam and Lawrence’s test specifically designed to be as easy as possible for Zep to pass? I think so.

Now before you leap down my throat, think about the structure of the bathroom test overall. 

Zep acts as John’s enforcer of the rules within the test, a role Amanda would later play in Saw II. Zep’s role was the forbearer for Amanda’s, which makes me wonder-was Zep truly poisoned at all? Amanda was not poisoned in Saw II, so who is to say Zep was either? 

Zep’s reactions to being poisoned (coughing, breathing heavily) could be the reactions of someone who is told they are poisoned, a kind of anxious reaction, yet he never has any serious real reaction. He is able to run, struggle, scream, all without the poison affecting him more from the increased blood flow. If the poison was truly ‘coursing through his bloodstream’ as the tape claims, it would affect him more with the more physical effort he puts out, yet it doesn’t.

He’s the one monitoring the participants, thru the camera, and literally is, to the rest of the participants, Jigsaw himself. 

He’s the one who will enact the consequences for Lawrence if he fails to kill Adam or decides to not participate in the test, by holding the gun to Alison and Diana. Alison and Diana, with the knowledge they are given, see Zep as Jigsaw, and the sole perpetrator. Adam identifies Zep as the person he saw at the Gordon’s house, around the time Alison and Diana were captured, and kills him under the assumption that he is Jigsaw. Even to Detective Tapp, Zep is Jigsaw.

And speaking of Tapp and Zep, when Zep flees Tapp, he says he is off to kill Lawrence. Which means, he knew the location of the bathroom before. He knew before he even flipped on the screens, or he was sent the location by Amanda, but my money is on John having already told Zep. Zep holds enough anger and resentment toward Lawrence that he would jump to killing him as the next logical conclusion if he couldn’t kill Alison and Diana, and John would plan for that.

In addition, the way he is suppose to complete his test? It’s by killing Alison and Diana. Follows a familiar pattern, doesn’t it? Amanda having to kill to free herself from the reverse bear trap, Mark killing Seth. Murder. John asks his Apprentices to tie themselves to him, to his name and his legacy, forever, by murdering.

In essence, Zep Hindle is an Apprentice. He might be in the middle of his test, but he’s functioning as an Apprentice would. 

Who he is also echoes what two of the other Apprentices would be (perhaps the two most successful ones, in John’s eyes), in personality and skillsets. Zep is the unnoticed and unloved, desperately seeking approval, type of person that allows John to so easily manipulate and shape Amanda to become so devoted to him. Zep would have been this too, devoted to John because he pulled him from obscurity and made him matter. 

Zep also holds some sort of medical skill and knowledge, no doubt from picking up things around the hospital, even if he wasn’t formerly trained. Given enough time and the materials, he could possibly have learned how to complete some of the tasks Lawrence later fulfills. Lawrence instead would become this medically competent Apprentice when Zep fails and dies, and in the end is more successful than Zep would have been, since he is formerly trained. 

Once again, I’m ignoring Jigsaw (2017) and Logan as an Apprentice. You should too, it’s more fun.

But now, we turn to Zep’s character itself, and how he functions as a mirror to John Kramer in a broader sense.

Zep, strikes me, as angry, apathetic but most of all pathetic. Wait, no that’s Adam’s label by John. Which... Zep is. Even more so than Adam, I would argue.

But sorry, what I also mean is, Zep is resentful of what has happened to him, where he has ended up in life. He’s vengeful, envious of Lawrence and tired of being laughed at. He pushes blame outwards, onto other people. He shows a willingness to blindly follow authority (’it’s the rules’). He has a withdrawn personality (not a negative trait but becomes so when taken in combination with his others), that he twists into thinking he’s more superior than those around him.

But also, take one look at his character and don’t try to tell me that the thought process of ‘nothing bad that happens to me is MY fault, it’s all other people’s’ doesn’t rule his every move.

He throws up his hands when Lawrence fails and prepares to kill an innocent mother and child he could have easily released, while he went to pursue medical care for himself, as the poison clearly wasn’t immediately killing him. He had eight hours, at least, to try that option. 

Even if Amanda was watching him, as a failsafe, I think Zep would have been able to at least match her, if not outsmart or escape her, as it was early in her Apprenticeship. Zep already knew how to use a gun, he was armed. But instead he accepted what was happening to him passively, trapped when there was no chain wrapped around his ankle, trapped when he was the one tying the knots. 

You know who else employs that ‘nothing bad that happens to me is MY fault, it’s all other people’s’ kind of thinking? John. 

Look at John’s life. His entire gimmick as Jigsaw is forcing people to acknowledge their own hand in their negative outcome. If that isn’t projection, I don’t know what is. 

I could write an entire other meta about how John Kramer treats health as an indicator of character and purity. Endless essays have been written about the fallacies of linking health to character and purity. But John views the health decisions of others (but not himself! never himself) as their own fault, or something to punish them for. Back to back examples of this come to mind for me from Saw VI, in the janitor who smoked being killed in the oxygen crusher, and the secretary who had diabetes selected for the gallows. 

His dissolution of his relationships (Jill, Art Blank, William Easton, hell, even his own Apprentices in the end) are all blamed on the other party, their failings and their faults, when he was the one to pull away first. He could have repaired bridges, asked for forgiveness, asked for understanding. But he didn’t.

Jill’s health clinic failing is blamed on the people who populated it and used its services. He judges them on their ‘innate’ character and what he considers ‘controllable’ decisions. Though, with the illness that addiction is, were any of their choices controllable? And aren’t humans in the end, able to change? 

(Another central theme to Saw. See: Amanda’s entire final scene in Saw III, and for a negative character arc that explores this, look no further than Mark Hoffman.) 

John stumbled every time and yet never looked at himself as possibly being the problem. 

He could have reached out his hand in friendship to Art Blank, used his position of power to influence William Easton to be more merciful, he could have loved his wife through struggle and not pinned all his hopes on a child uniting and keep them united. Even in the end, he could have not judged his Apprentices and victims so harshly.

He could have given more of his time, employed his skills better, funneled more money into Jill’s clinic for more staff, to allow Jill to take a break. Maybe she wouldn’t have been there that night if he had been more involved. He could have accepted his own death gracefully and prepared by forgiving, grieving and asking forgiveness. He didn’t.

It couldn’t have hurt to try.

Many people have said it, and I will repeat it again, John is a hypocrite, a lonely and fallible man who has faulty thinking patterns and illogical conclusions about his life path, now at the end of it. He projects this outwards, and searches for people he can manipulate into following him unquestionably. 

And he sees it in Zep. 

And Zep, in turn, sees what he wishes to be in John Kramer. Powerful, important, and above all, beyond reproach. Infallible and not subject to judgement. Zep is willing to follow, to kill, for that concept of a man, to become him. He seeks after Jigsaw, to hold that title, to become, like any other Apprentice. 

And, in my opinion, Zep Hindle is the perfect option for John Kramer. 

A mirror, a unquestioning weapon, and a coward. 

The perfect Apprentice.

[cazimagines]

Hold on I still need you

Author's note: This was a request from anon, I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to get to it but here you are. I hope you are also doing okay and have a lovely day. If you ever want to chat, any of you, my DM's are always free. I've also decided not to tag anyone in this fic as it deals with triggering themes and I don't want to tag people if it could potentially trigger them. Oh and if for some crazy reason you want to be even sadder I based the plot also on the song 'hold on' by chord oversheet so uh listen to that if you wanna be in the feels.

Synopsis: Request from anon: Can I request a sui*idal reader? Like they have thudding thoughts, the whole day her head is buzzing. Then they decide to do IT (you can decide how) and Zemo walks in and becomes heartbroken and floooooofff pls

Word count: 2k

Warnings: MENTIONS OF S*ICIDE, if you don't think you'll be okay reading it then please don't, your mental state always comes first, lots of angst followed by slight fluff, overdose

Masterlist

(Please check out my master list to see what I will be writing next and if requests are open or closed)

Cross-posted to ao3 under the same username

They wouldn’t miss you

You’re just an inconvenience to them

He doesn’t care for you. It’s all a huge prank.

It would be better if you leave

You groan in anger, hitting your head slightly to get those thoughts out of your head, but no matter how much you willed it, they would not leave you alone. Each time you tried to resolve one thought, reflecting on reasons why they do like you, your mind instead found persistent reasons for why they didn’t. Every small thing they have done which seemed off weighted down on your mind. Especially Zemo. Why didn’t he kiss you goodbye this week like he had done other weeks? Your logical side tried to argue that he simply forgot, but your paranoia always got the best of you. There is more. There has to be more. Another reason for him to avoid you. To hate you.

You didn’t want to be one of those girls whose entire life revolved around their boyfriend. You had your independence, your responsibilities, your hobbies. But these days they seemed so bland. They didn’t excite you the way they once did. Things you did for fun now felt like a chore to you. Doing anything these days felt exhausting. You knew it was annoying Zemo by how much time you spent in bed, how you stopped organising dates. But how could you find the will to do anything when you were so exhausted of life? It wasn’t as if you wanted life to end for you; it was just that you needed a break from being alive.

If you thought about it, it was the best option, right? You would finally get your peace. Your friends didn’t have to pretend to care about you anymore. Zemo could move on to date someone he actually loved. He wouldn’t feel like he only dated you out of pity. This was the best outcome. It had to be.

One of the worst things was the last walk. Your footsteps echoed along the pavement as you walked to yours and Zemo’s house. It was almost as if everything was going in slow motion for you. The corners of your eyes were blurred as you just concentrated on the path ahead. The usual outside sounds were faded, muffled to you. Instead, that singular voice inside of you rang out clearly.

‘I’m going to do it,’

Just that, again and again inside your head, unrelenting. It was as if you were still trying to convince yourself to go through with it by repeating it. Your legs felt like stone as you forced yourself to continue to walk to your resting place. Your breath quickened as you approached the door.

Walking in, you were barely coherent. Zemo was still out. He should be gone for the next few hours. That’s plenty of time. You felt a pang of guilt in your heart as you thought about him. How would he react to seeing you? You didn’t want to think about it and thankfully if all goes to plan you would never would.

You manage to find yourself in the bathroom, locking the door behind you. By the window was the medicine cabinet. Stored full of many painkillers for the headaches Zemo often got. Often his past would come back to haunt him. Shakily your hand reaches up to grasp the door handle and open it up, your eyes focusing on all the orange pill bottles that cluttered it. You weren’t focusing as you reached to grab them, your hands instead accidentally knocking them to the floor.

Swearing under your breath, you rush to pick them up, feeling your eyes water up. Finally, you felt you had enough. Swallowing one last time, you open your mouth and down the hatched.

-

Zemo’s hands clutched the bouquet. The smell of sweet roses floating off them. Roses were typical, but always one of your favourite types of flowers. His hands gently graze against the box held in his trousers pocket. A reminder of the task that had been making him nervous for the last month. To propose. No matter what happened, the time had never felt right. He wanted it to be meaningful, for it to be special. After losing his last family, he wasn’t ready to let someone like you go away.

Still, he worried for you. Your behaviour had changed over the last few months and though he tried to ask you about it, you had always shrugged it off. It was nothing. You were fine. It wasn’t nothing. You weren’t fine, and he hated that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth. That is why he was determined tonight was the night. He’d show you just how much you meant to him, and maybe then you would trust him enough to open up.

“Y/n?” he called out as he walked into the house. He’d taken the afternoon off for this moment, preparing it down to the tiniest detail, and finally, it was all falling into place. Now he had to just find you.

“Y/n?” he called out again

He paused, waiting for a response, but furrowed his eyebrows when none came. That was odd. You were always back by this time.

He started to walk around the house, checking in every room for you. As he found every room empty, his voice rose higher as he became more panicked.

Reaching the final floor, his eyes focused on the closed bedroom door, dread pooling into his stomach. The roses slip from his hand and the petals broke off as they hit the ground. His feet were already rushing to the door, his hands reaching for the handle, but no matter how hard he would push it wouldn’t give away.

“Y/N!” he shouted, hitting his fist against the wooden door in a desperate attempt that you might still be awake. He pushed his shoulder against the door with all his strength. The lock strained, giving crack to a single strain of hope for him.

He pushed his weight against it again, and then again, and finally; it broke. He stumbled, almost falling to the floor as the door burst open. He glanced around and his skin went cold as he saw you laying there surrounded by empty pill bottles. His legs folded as he collapsed beside you, pulling you close to his chest. His ears were ringing and his eyes were blurry as his fingers rested against the pulse in your neck, his head resting against your chest as he prayed for something, some sort of life.

A sob echoed from his throat, whaling coming deep from inside his chest. “Please,” he cried out, “Don’t you leave me. Not you too”

The tears streamed down his cheeks, falling on your pale, clammy skin. “Y/n” he whispered, his fingers still pressed against his pulse.

And then if by a miracle he felt it, hardly there, but he felt it, he’s sure he did. A beat.

He had already gathered your body in his arms and was racing you to the car. Ambulances would take too long. He had to get you to the hospital now. He was driving well over the speed limit but fines could easily be paid, your life couldn’t.

He swerves in and out of other cars, desperately trying to avoid any traffic, almost causing traffic by how carelessly he was driving. He could hear the cars honk at him, the expletives shouted, but none of that phased him. All that mattered was getting you to that hospital and thankfully, it paid off. He was at the hospital in a matter of minutes.

Grabbing you off the seat, he runs into the hospital holding you bridal style, screaming for help. The poor receptionist looked traumatised as she saw your ghostly pale head swinging as Zemo rushed towards the desk.

Quickly nurses had grabbed a hospital bed, and Zemo carefully placed you onto it. As they carted you away, Zemo grasped your hand, determined to follow you. He was instead forced to let go of you. He argued relentlessly to them that he needed to be there; he had to be there with you. Didn’t they know who he was? He got everything he wanted if he so asked but now he was forced into the waiting room along with everyone else. He couldn’t be with you, and it was killing him.

He paced around the room anxiously. People watched his stressed-out self as he ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up. Occasionally his hand would flicker down to his pocket where the ring rested and a lump would come to his throat. Every time a nurse came into the waiting room, he would instantly turn to them, hoping that it would be about you. But it wasn’t and so he was left with his thoughts again as he went over in his mind what he had done wrong for you to ever want to do that. It must have been something he did. The way he treated you. Something he said. The blame rested solely on him.

Finally, the nurse came in, looking for him. As soon as she said the words, he was rushing to your room. As he reached it, he burst through the door, his eyes focusing on the bed in front of him.

There you laid peacefully.

Asleep.

But alive.

The next few hours he spent sitting beside you, just staring at your peaceful face, his hand grasping yours. The nurses tried to get him to leave, claiming you would be asleep for a few hours, but he refused. He had to be there when you woke up. He couldn’t imagine leaving you to wake up on your own.

After a few hours, your eyes finally crack open as you awake. As your senses come back to you, you could feel something holding your hand. Moving your head slightly, you saw Zemo beside you.

As soon as you moved your head he perked up and a wave of relief washed over him seeing you awake.

“Y/n, oh thank god,” he whispers, squeezing your hand tightly.

“Zemo? Where am I?” You ask.

“You are at the hospital after you… well,” he trails off, the word getting chocked in his throat as he thought back to what happened.

Your eyes started to swarm with tears as you feel guilt wash over you, knowing what must have happened for you to end up here with Zemo.

“Zemo, I’m so sorry”

“Please don’t apologise, you don’t need to apologise” Zemo instantly says, sorrow deep within his eyes, “But please, tell me what I did wrong. I can’t lose you y/n, so whatever it is, whatever lead you to that tell me”

“Zemo, it isn’t your fault. You’ve been perfect, you always have been. It’s me, it’s all me. It was so stupid of me Zemo, I shouldn’t have put you through something like that”

His grip on your hand tightened as he leaned over to put his hand on the side of your face, making you turn to look at him. “Don’t say that. You are not stupid. Far from it. Now please, tell me the real reason”

You sigh, leaning into his hand. “I didn’t feel worthy of you. Of anyone. I’m tired Zemo, I’m so tired and you deserve someone who can give you their all. And that isn’t me. I don’t feel alright and I’m not sure if I ever will again”

Zemo’s thumb strokes your face in comfort as he looks at you before deciding to get up and get on the bed next to you, pulling you into a hug in the tight space you two had. “I love you y/n, if anything I do not deserve you. I understand how you feel and I know you will feel better in time, with help you will be. I will ensure you get the best help and will be with you every step of the way if you will have me”

He clasped you as you cried into his chest, his whispers of comfort and reassurance settling deep within yourself. You knew things would be hard; you knew you would doubt yourself again; you doubt him. But a part of you knew that with Zemo beside you, helping you, loving you. You could pull through.

A/N: If you made it to here I salute you for getting through the angst. Just remember you are never alone and if you are ever feeling in a bad way don't be afraid to reach out, I love you all 💕

[bnha-almost-a-hero]

monster fucking with... nomu?

part of my ‘kinktober’ series, but it’s only half the days and I decided to start at the end of October.

day three and four featuring nomu (don’t question it), you as a slightly deranged, unstable scientist and a healthy helping of mind break.

warnings & shizz: non-con, dub-con, reader’s a rapist, nomu fucking, oh and you kind of turn into a drooling mess at the end (spoilers)

i’m going to hell, i’m going to hell, i’m going to hell, i’m going to hell, i’m going to hell.

oh, and happy halloween!

prompts — ‘monster fucking’ and ‘mind break’

character — nomu (and i-)

Science and ethics have never always gone together. You—as a biologist specializing in the development of quirks in fetuses—know that better than anyone. Society has done you an injustice, you think, to condemn your research as unethical and immoral.

What even are ethics? You ask yourself. There are no ‘ethics’ in the animal kingdom. Adult lions kill baby cubs to preserve their bloodline yet no-one bats an eye. Why when you propose to take a newborn away from her mother for a couple of years to study how their quirk manifests, do the Bureau of Science call you insane? 

You weren’t insane, you were just doing your job.

Just as heroes did theirs.

Yet, when heroes beat villains bloody, society applauded them and threw meaningless awards in their faces? So, why couldn’t you? 

“Hypocrites,” You mutter disdainfully as you march down the hallway. “The whole lot of them.”

The sterile, white walls of the facility would have stifled normal people, but, sandwiched between them, you felt happier than ever. This was your second home, where no pesky Bureau could bother you or where you had to mingle with the uneducated masses. But, today, you shared your facility with a special guest.

Nomu. A word you’d heard all over the news ever since the emergence of this new ‘League of Villains’. From your quaint, little city apartment, you’d drawn up diagrams of them, hypothesized as to their inner workings and fantasized about getting your hands on one…

And now you’d finally done it.

Of course, you couldn’t snag one by yourself—you were only a frail scientist with a handful of fanatical ideas.

But, what you did have, were underground connections. People who you paid off to keep their mouths shut about the goings-on in your facility and who occasionally eliminated a few nosy annoyances if it was necessary. And all you had to do was slide over a wad of cash, whisper a few instructions into their ear and wait a couple of days for a Nomu to be delivered in one of your testing rooms.

It was the same Nomu from the U.S.J. attack that your ‘friends’ had kindly broken out of prison. And you were heading right for him.

‘Room 108 — Testing’, reads the sign outside the door you’ve locked the Nomu up in. Behind the steel barrier rests a monster bound in chains. You are unarmed, but feel confident in your ability to calm the beast should the opportunity arise. Besides, he was in chains—he couldn’t possibly break out. 

Right?

Right?

Your hand hovers over the door’s handle and you contemplate just abandoning this little project. After all, despite being a fanatical scientist, you did have some sense of self-preservation and you really did not want to get crushed to death by those giant, hulking arms of his…

You shake your head.

To abandon this project would be abandoning your integrity as a scientist. What you were going to do would go down in history as one of the biggest advancements in quirk development and you would not let fickle things such as ‘morality’ or ‘self-preservation’ get in the way.

You open the door.

The Nomu’s eyes latch onto you. Frenzied and unfocused, he looks you up and down yet his mannerisms aren’t at all sexual—more like he’s checking for weak points or weapons. The true mark of a beast. You shiver in fright as you stare up at the creation who, even in the chair he’s strapped to, towers over you. Seven feet, you think the media stated his height as. 

“Hello there,” You mumble out to get the conversation going. You’re not entirely sure if he can talk or if he wants to talk, but you know for a fact that he can hear you. “You wanna talk to me today?” No response. “Alright, that’s fine. Can’t imagine you want to talk to a strange person who kidnapped you, but I’m your friend.”

He stares blankly at you and you offer him a smile to reinforce your point.

“I’m just going to… Um,” What could you say? That you were going to fuck his brains out to see if you could rear a child who possessed multiple quirks just as their father had? “I’m just going to… Acquaint myself with you.”

And your dick.

You walked forward and were pleasantly surprised when he didn’t struggle against his chains… He was just watching, like a predator in wait. You reach within an inch of him and stop yourself. You’re about level with his muscled chest which spares you the embarrassment of having to look him in the eye whilst doing this. His head angles down to look at you, but you don’t meet his gaze, instead opting to reach a hand towards the zip of his khaki pants.

You hesitate when he rustles in his chains until you realize he’s just adjusting his position to give you better access. You look up at him. Does he want this? You were fully prepared to take what was yours without asking, but knowing that he wanted this would be comforting. 

You unzip his pants and maneuver it down slightly to free his cock. Even flaccid, it still holds a lot of girth and weight to it and, as you grasp for it, you gulp a little in the apprehension of it being inside of you. Your core thrums with excitement as you place both hands on his engorged prick and slide it up and down. His cock twitches match up perfectly to your shameful heartbeats.

Should I really be doing this? You ask yourself. 

He can’t give consent. 

It doesn’t matter; this is for the greater good. 

This is wrong. 

No, this is for science. 

Society says this is wrong.

Fuck society.

You pry your lips apart, a line of drool escaping as you feast your eyes on the snack in front of you. Now, with the semi-erect tip resting just in front of your face and your engorged clit twitching and pulsing, you swallow his cock. The taste of his pre is salty, but not at all overpowering, your lower half throbs again—begging you to pay attention to it—but you turn away from your own pleasure. 

The Nomu makes a low, guttural groaning sound that you assume is the closest he’s come to vocalization. Conjuring your inner blowjob skills, you press your tongue against the head of his cock then begin to bob up and down, using his groans as a guide to tell you if you’re doing something right or wrong. The temptations there, but despite the curiosity eating away at you, your eyes never meet his, sheerly because you’re afraid.

Afraid you’ll see the disapproving face of society sneering down at you, just as they had done when they cast aside your research years ago.

You continue on, closing your eyes as you focus solely on the salty muskiness that comes with arousal that lingers in the air.

Your fleshy insides burn, begging for a thick cock to just invade and ruin them. Your core twitches at that thought and you manage a small smile, even with a cock shoved between your lips. This, you tell yourself, is a new era for science—unbound by what humans call morality. For so long, science was hindered by ethics, but now, after you flaunted your half-Nomu, half-human child in society’s face and held up your scientific findings, science would finally be able to advance at lightning speed.

You yank your head back, allowing the Nomu’s spit-lathered cock to slip out from between your pillowy lips before standing up. Now was time for the real prize…

You easily unbutton and tug down your pants, pushing away the flimsy undergarments you chose to wear today before straddling the Nomu. The right head presses up against his abs as you give yourself a mental pep talk. I should’ve bought lube, you think as the very hard, very thick cock rubs against your sensitive, tight hole. Your hands find the Nomu’s broad shoulders and you cling on to dear life as you left yourself up.

He rustles against his chains and lets out another groan. You bite down hard onto your lip, grasping onto his throbbing cock and guiding it to your sopping cunt. With a pained moan, you sink down onto the cock. No amount of lube, you find, would prepare you for the behemoth cock inside of you. You aren’t sure who created this Nomu, but you wonder why they gave him such a massive dick. Were they ‘using’ this Nomu themselves or did they just do it for shits and giggles?

Either way, you scramble to slide the dick out of you, deciding it’s much too big for any human to handle. The Nomu’s chains rustle again and you feel two, hulking hands grasp your waist and SLAM you down onto the cock. 

You scream.

And struggle.

And flail.

But it’s no use. 

The Nomu had broken out of his restraints…

You cry out, “S—Stop! Pl—ah—Please!”

You know that you’re a hypocrite. Just moments ago, you were forcing yourself onto the Nomu, but that lapse in logic doesn’t cross your mind, not when you’re in such colossal pain. You throw your head back, a tear slipping from your eye as your cunt spasms—seemingly not recognizing the pain the rest of your body is in.

The Nomu grunts, grabbing you harder so his claws dig into the material of your dress shirt. Shamelessly, you moan—the buzzing in your lower half too much. You breathe heavily. Your tongue flops from the confines of your mouth, a sliver of saliva falling down and staining the Nomu’s pants as he thrusts up into you. 

Your hole clenches around him and your legs twitch at his invasion. You’re not supposed to enjoy this. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Those chains were supposed to be secure—your associates made sure of that. Why? Why had this happened?

Why—?

Why—?

Why—?

Was this karma? Some retribution for the vile acts you’d committed in the past? Was this society, finally come to punish you—by turning you into some brainless, lust-driven animal?

“Hah~” You groan out, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. You’re supposed to be a dignified, if immoral scientist. You’re supposed to pioneer the new era for science. “You—…” You lose your train of thought as the Nomu thrusts into you once more, hitting your fleshy G-spot and hammering it until all you can manage out are unfocused gurgles and illegible moans. You can’t conjure a single literate thought, your mind is completely befuzzled.

Your vocabulary has seemingly been replaced with the vocabulary of the very monster that’s fucking your brains out as of late. 

Your heart throbs… At least, you think it's your heart. With the way this beast is battering your insides, you can’t really tell the difference between your heart or your cunt. You can’t really focus on anything, really, all you think about is—

“Fuuuuck,” You moan out and you applaud yourself for vocalizing such a big word. You feel like you’re two again and your parents are trying to get you to talk in full sentences. Except, you’re a grown adult and you can’t even speak clearly.

Shameful.

“Awa—” You manage again, your cunt spasming around the ten inches of cock that’s brutalizing your body and threatening to slip past your cervix into your womb proper. The wet ‘slap’ ‘slap’ ‘slap’ and the Nomu fucking you is the only thing you can concentrate on. “I—”

You cum, moaning out garbled phrases as your world goes blank. Your clit—throbbing and engorged to the size of a small eraser—squirts out an ungodly amount of clear girl-cum. Your Nomu thrusts into you for a few more moments of pleasure-filled ecstasy before his hot, milky cum fills your womb to the brim. You groan out a few strings of unconnected word salad, your mind a mush.

Unthinking…

Feral…

Disgraceful…

All words that could describe the once intelligent, bright, passionate scientist known as [L/N] [F/N]. And you don’t give a damn, all you need to know is that you’re never going to stop feeling this intense pleasure. Let society mock you, they don’t know the true happiness that you feel.

You are enlightened.

You are purified.

Your mind is broken.

And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[combeauferre]

66 + 55 pls!! (You’re absolutely amazing! I love the writing, it’s so warm!🥰✨🥺) -saph

66 - “go big or go home”

55 - reciting poetry at each other in a dramatic and very public fashion

Phil’s read all of the poetry in Dan’s book. Every piece of writing, where Dan has poured his heart out, bared his soul, opened up a little more to people he’s never going to meet - Phil has been there to witness it all first. Phil, who knows all of it anyway, in some degree. Phil, who is able to tell him what sounds good and what needs improvement. Phil, whose breath is taken away with every poem he reads. Phil’s seen every poem. Except one. 

He’s out right now, just as Dan had planned. He’d confided in Martyn and Cornelia only a few weeks ago, said he needed Phil out the house for the day so he could film and edit and upload. They’d agreed to distract him for as long as Dan needed. 

He’s already spoken to Kath and Nigel. He doesn’t believe in the stupid “asking for the hand” bullshit, but he thinks he owes it to them to let them know what he’s going to be asking of their son. Kath cried down the phone, told him he’s been one of the family all this time. Even if he didn’t have a piece of paper tying him to them, he’s a Lester through and through. 

Dan’s never filmed a video without Phil’s input before. It feels foreign, stiff. It’s going to be worth it, but right now he just wants the comfort of Phil next to him, reminding him this is something he’s good at, something he enjoys, something that means the world to him. It makes sense to pour his heart out to Phil in this fashion. 

They’ve talked at length about all of this: public proposals, concrete confirmation of their relationship, tying the knot. Dan knows this is all okay, this is something they’re ready for. This is something Phil told him he’d enjoy. Not that you’d ever do it, Phil had joked into the darkness of their room so many moons ago. And he wouldn’t have, back when they first talked about it. But times have changed, and something in him wants the whole fucking world to know how much he loves Phil Lester. 

The poem is fairly short. It’s done in one take, Dan learning the lines off by heart so that he can stare into the camera as he says it. There’s no interruption as he glances down at his phone or a piece of paper. It’s just him and his audience. Him and Phil. Just like it always has been. 

It doesn’t take long to edit. He forces himself to stop tweaking after he’s genuinely happy with it. Editing has always been a difficult process, but he’s so focused on making this perfect that he has to check himself back before he changes too much. The perfectionist in him is angry, but the logic in his brain reminds him that this is meant to be simple. It’s between him and Phil. 

He drops a message to Martyn before he uploads. Martyn texts back that they’re on their way with Phil. The video is going up, but there’s no way Dan wants to be anywhere but next to Phil when he watches it. He’s sat at his laptop, waiting to upload, listening for the door. When he hears it open, he takes a deep breath and clicks the button, closing his laptop and heading down. 

He hears the ping on Phil’s phone before they’ve seen each other. 

“Check it.” 

“Hello to you too,” Phil retorts. Dan rolls his eyes, hands shaking. 

“Check the phone.” 

Phil rolls his eyes, but his eyebrows raise when he sees the notification. 

“You’ve been busy.” 

Dan huffs a laugh. 

“Watch it.”

“You never told me you were making a video,” Phil says. The title is just “?”, and Phil frowns as he clicks it. 

“It’ll make sense in a sec.” 

He sits down when he’s in the room, and Dan flashes one look at Martyn and Cornelia in the doorway before he heads into the living room to sit across from Phil. He can hear his own voice through the speaker, and his heart is pounding in his chest. He watches Phil’s face as the poem is read out, the confusion turning to fondness turning to... something else. 

“Some people would say that we’re soulmates. I never believed that was true. But I know that there’s something I do believe. That I was put on this earth to find you.”

The poem ends, the screen fades to black. There are tears in Phil’s eyes, but when he looks up a hand flies to his mouth. Dan is knelt in front of him, every part of him shaking as he holds up the ring with two hands. 

“Phil Lester-”

“Yes.” 

Dan laughs, a sob making its way out with it. 

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” 

Phil surges forward, off the sofa and into Dan, wrapping his arms around him and burrowing his face in Dan’s shoulder. 

“I love you. God, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Phil, fuck.” He’s crying now, and his free hand comes up to push Phil away gently. “Put this on your finger before you knock me over and send it flying, you oaf.” 

They’re still laughing and crying as Dan eases the ring on to Phil’s finger and leans forward to press a kiss to his lips.

“I can’t believe you really did that,” Phil says as Dan lifts a hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks. 

“Well, you know what they say,” Dan says with a grin, leaning forward to kiss where his hands have just been, “Go big or go home.”

[gg-astrology]

What do you suggest for those who are beginners in astrology? Like how can they improve their learnings more?

Hey there!! 💞💞💞💞 Aaah what a great question!! 💞💞 Thanks so much for asking and giving me opportunity to talk about it!!!! 💞💞This can probably apply to ppl who aren’t beginner-beginner too?? 💞💞It might be good for?? content creators?? as well?? Maybe?? 💞💞

Tips for learning/progressing into astro (maybe??) 🌟

Check the ‘astro asks masterlist’ for stuff on jus… learning astro?? this also for astro, but more/extended??? something you might wanna hear if you’ve been feeling down/demotivated lately or jus need a lil pick me up/kick in the bum ��� for general stuff, community, things we can do/things we should guard, etc 💞

🚫long post 🚫

Keep an open mind? 💞 It’s easy to get swept up in something/join a set of mentality/believe it’s right because it’s there and people believe it or you have experience™️ that ‘justify’ the thing (‘its what i see so it’s what i believe/know’) Do your research, don’t categorize/group things together, learn to dissect and differentiate. Try not to be prejudice/keep an open heart and mind (it’s not that hard to do, you just gotta ‘check’ yourself for it)  💞💞

What you’re exposed to influences your take on subjects/topics, so be discerning and critical that you aren’t grouping things together or taking it as it is. Learning isn’t just about?? our senses right?? So combine it together (balance it out) and try not to close your opinion/guard yourself up alright (mind v senses v heart v doing stuff v learning things and retaining knowledge)? 💞  

There’ll be interpretation that connects with you and those you just ‘take’ as ‘I don’t get it but it seems right’ – make sure to find out why you don’t get it. It’s a hint that there’s a reasoning/way to explain it that rings closer to you. You might be a person who understands certain things explained a certain way, you might not. 

Figure out a way to resonate with the hypothesis, because then you understand it and you’re on top of how to interpret it. 

If someone proposes a limitation or different interpretation for it, you can adjust and learn how to incorporate it into your understanding better as well (because you get it, you understand it. It’s personal to you now – we have 12 signs in our chart it’s just a matter of connecting that knowledge together and knowing what it means as well) 💞

Find your own way of saying what you mean. Nothing is stagnant as it seems, it’s always like a little buoy in the middle of the sea when it comes to certain subject make sure to express that out and measure where you are on that sea-level as well. 

Support others, or at least try not to be a dick to them over things 💞 This is also in-line with reaching out to others and not trying to go through shit alone 💞 How does this relate to learning astro? We might not think we need people but wow does it help a hell lot (and also we do need people?? that’s a– thing?? astrology vs astronomy)💞

Have a good connective system, mutuals, friends. Be open to people and treat others the way you want to be treated 💞 Have someone to support you, catch you out on your shit or help you re-think/brainstorm the way you handle or react to stuff (buddy-system it if you can) 💞 

Knowing that someone can give you a second glimpse, double-check and wishes well for you/is in your corner helps tremendously even though logically we might not ‘need it’ (if you don’t want a ‘study buddy’ or ‘group study’ then that’s perfectly ok??💞💞 jus make sure you have someone supportive of you and your interests, people who won’t tear you down if you manifest yourself?? 

Reach out to others, it helps. But don’t use them for resource?? that’s just– a shitty thing to do with people if you don’t want to have a genuine interaction with them.💞

You’d be surprised at how many people we might hold dear might tear you down?? Don’t wanna scare you so you can skip if you want. But whether they do it consciously or not, make sure to find and genuinely appreciate the things you’re doing, the way you work/think. 

If you’re the person who others appreciate the way you work/think/what you’re doing— make sure you aren’t tearing others down. This is a thing?? Whether you’re doing it unconsciously or if you start going  ‘maybe I can do this better than them, maybe I can grow/get more appreciated’ — don’t. It’s that kind of egoistical arrogance that’s going to hurt others/your friend. 

You’re not supporting, you’re using them. Even if you think you’re bubbling well on your own/minding your own business (there’s a time/place for that)– it’s still a community of people you’re influencing. 

Try to be socially responsible, it’s not that bad and it is something you’d rather be safe than sorry about y know (being well-informed socially and using that for the better?)💞

Learn how to appreciate and support, how to let people thrive. Learn how to ‘check’ yourself and stop acting out of your own fears/lashing out onto others as well. Most of the time it’s your own experience (or insecurities) that’s making you push others down like that. You’re going to lose more friends and opportunity if you keep doing it– so make sure to get some motivation, some support (if you need that), use your voice in the community well as well. 

Brings us back to the point earlier: treat others the way you treat yourself, if others treat you with appreciation and compliment – give the same energy back?? 💞 Learning astro also depends on the community too right? So how do you want to be treated within the community/how do you treat the community? 

It’s not just knowledge, it’s also self-growth. If we want to have self-love/care/help/growth, we gotta learn how to act harmoniously with others as well. Nothing ‘self’ related is ever truly done with just ourselves, it’s how we invest, how we treat others and how others treat us (keep trying even if you fall, keep trying. We got trump but we’re still trying, right? Stop giving up hope.)  

Learn how to navigate it, instead of trying to fight it (putting the self first or others first//imbalance) Act with consciousness, the more you’re aware of how you behave/react the more you can learn how to be emotionally intelligent and socially active as well 💞

Your best resources are the people around you as well, sometimes it’s not just books or what you read online. How people conduct, react, how they insert themselves into the narrative/your life will influence what you think about them and how they think about you. 

Try to realize that we are bias, because we’re essentially human. Even when we look at things ‘detached from the ego’/well-reasoned we’re still human. No matter how unbiased/knowledgeable we think/know we are, we can’t escape the inevitable nature of our species. So the most we can do is try to keep it together ok and try to be considerate/nice (learn to let others love you/love others, is sometimes harder than learning how to ‘love yourself’)💞

If you’re more of the traditional astrologer type (heavy learning and theory, history, really fun and exciting!) — people are appreciative of things, old or new, it never hurts to keep an open-mind about stuff 💞 

Some might not even realize it’s an option, and while people might be (everyone) ‘well thats our/their fault they should’ve researched’ – it’s good to consider that sometimes our modern day life doesn’t always open certain doors up to us all at the same time (we all learn different things at a different time/place in our lives) – so make room for yourself to be curious and to grow, don’t stay stagnant in what you already know and is trying to ‘perfect’ (bc perfection is always improved, more and more as we gain more time/age/perspective as well)💞  

Theres always room to grow, there’s always room to learn more. But realizing that you’re over-stepping boundaries and making other people uncomfortable with your interpretation is also a thing.It’s?? something we should consider 💞 

Just try to be considerate of others, and be aware of how much you insert/hold yourself back, how you conduct yourself and what your influence does to others as well 💞 Have people you talk to, who can lift you up and encourage you because you deserve it (make sure they’re ok with that too and try not to pile it onto one person ok?) 💞

Don’t stop trying 💞

Low-key that’s kinda like how we behave with politics? Either we ‘dont care either way’ (which is shit for the community/direction we’re going), cares only for the self/personal gain (cough *the 1%* cough), is well-informed and feels shitty about the situation we’re in right now (depressed, suffering, either protesting or lies in bed thinking about giving up) or is just… y know, HOPEFUL but also angry and wanting to be proud of our community and ourselves (prosper/thrive stuff like that) 💞💞

Try to be socially conscious, if you’re down/drained, look out for your happiness/your own health first (pls care for your own health/well-being) 💞 For me, finding a buddy or supportive mutual works. I can’t invest time into everybody but those who I have genuine connections with, I try to keep up as much as tumblr messaging app would tell me I have a notification (it doesn’t sometimes) 💞💞

Tips maybe more specific for beginners/intermediate?? 💞

(might be more relevant? But I’m not sure what type of beginner we are because there’s– a few? But this is the main bulk so maybe give this a read even if you’re not a beginner too) 

Premise: Everything below this is after the assumption that we allread up stuff, study about the subject, research things already and is starting somewhere/in the process of starting (already interested in astro) 

*I wasn’t thinking about complete COMPLETE beginner who mayhaps might’ve just discovered there’s things beyond the sun-sign (for those that are💞: im sorry ;; I think there’s a post for that too somewhere on my blog maybe skdjnk 💞)  

So for those who are beginner astro: Practice 💞Can’t emphasize this enough 💞 We might be self-conscious about our skills, but your biggest critic is yourself and your ego/mood (or lack of it)? 💞Just try practicing it 💞 

Theoretical knowledge might get you somewhere, but we also need to know how to apply them 💞 Try to figure out how to read/interpret as you go 💞Sometimes people are like ‘uh oh, red flag. You can’t just let any lunatics out there.’ So this is out of the assumptions that you’ve been a very very theory based person (read a lot of stuff) but haven’t got the time/energy/motivation to start yet. 

Balance comes from steady progress in both, so if you dove head deep into doing something. Do your research. If you did research, start working. This is a lab exercise and the more you waste time the more you don’t know how to time-manage yourself into doing both (theory and practical). 

We improve when we learn how we work/what we need to work on along the way, but making sure you have substance in both is good for you (so you don’t fuck up the lab exercise and waste your time) 💞

Test yourself and your knowledge? 💞 Find your niche, what you’re interested in 💞 What you might want to figure out or contribute with? 💞 Having a sense of purpose, or having a friend help you check you or hype you up (support you) really helps with motivation 💞 

Dont be afraid to ask for encouragement, don’t be too prideful or overthink it too much, we all need that especially when we’re starting out – it can be lonely on your own and even if you can handle it, try to not put that weight on yourself?💞 

Jus reach out for people who can give you the time/energy, and help support each other up 💞 It’s much better than being by yourself or feeling shitty about what you do alone. Can’t stress this enough, what’s the point of having a community if you’re going to use them for resources but feels so alienated/alone and like things are passing you by (not feeling knowledgeable enough/forgetting stuff because you don’t hold yourself accountable for applying/putting it out there somewhere so you can ‘practice’ it really) 

It also helps with retaining knowledge and intuition, realizing that the things we’re learning are not stagnant and neither should our learning interpretations/methods (we’re all learning as we go so don’t feel bad about contributing or look down on yourself/your knowledge ok?)💞 

You learn more if you follow the guides but use that as a jumping board, things are fluid but there are a few certain rules 💞 Don’t feel intimidated by them, find what interests you and research it because you want to (not because you need to in order to be have ‘complete/fair knowledge’ on the subject) 💞 

Figure out a way that’s uniquely you, that you can find purpose to and explain it in your own way 💞 We’re talking about the same thing, we’re just doing it in a different way/choosing different parts of the same topic to talk about with each other (sharing is caring, but remember to like..diary entry it out? Sometimes if you push something onto others it can be like uuuuuuh?? cause no one really interprets the same way as each other) 💞💞  

Remember that where-ever you are on the spectrum (beginner, intermediate, whatever) it’s not like– a ‘conclusive’ subject. It’s not like we can know all there is to know about something and that’s the be all end all in it. 

That’s why we practice as we go, because we always think: 

‘If I know a little bit more/feel more stable with my knowledge then I can start interpreting’ — there’s no ‘end’ to the knowledge, you keep learning as you go 💞

What matters is you sharpen yourself and narrow it down to what matters to you, that you yourself progress and grow as an astrologer/person 💞Try practicing as you go otherwise you’ll feel self-conscious about yourself/your own ability forever?? 💞💞💞 

Most of the time, we only know what we perceive/interpret 💞While we can look at others and be like ‘wow! fantastic’ at what they do, that doesn’t discredit how you interpret or what you want to talk about💞  

Share, contribute, we’re all talking about the same thing just different parts of it 💞Your voice matters, and what you bring to the table even if you think you’re repetitive or being redundant it matters 💞

No one is essentially the ‘boss’ of a subject 💞We’re so scared of criticism when we first begin, even constructive ones are feared too 💞 

Closing ourselves down emotionally or detaching the ego from your work doesn’t always help (esp in term of compassion/what you want to produce/contribute or help others with) – learning how to be your own cheerleader does (*be aware of your social influence, how you affect others and what you say as well tho!) 💞

Learning how to grow, have a support system, how to accept emotional hurt instead of deny it or glide past it helps 💞 ‘it aint that deep’ but it is personal and healing to some people, it can be an emotional thing 💞 

Don’t dismiss that, learn how to feel comfortable with what you do, check that the way you come across or the way you want the information to contribute is actually having an impact you want 💞

Think of it as growing, editing and manifesting yourself to be the best person? 💞 You’re essentially trying to discover you or have a voice 💞 Whether its in the community or on the subject, learning how you come across on the topic — receiving compliments, criticism– letting it help you and take what you need from it, 💞 Let it help you grow and experience things, discover and learn more about yourself as you do 💞

It’s more than just the subject right? 💞It’s the experience of learning and progressing with your knowledge/ability as well, what it takes to get comfortable/stable enough and to be efficient with it 💞

It’s figuring yourself out 💞 Like learning art, you figure out your own style what you want to do and you have different characteristics from each other 💞 It’s a constant learning progress 💞 So it’s not like, a completely different learning process than art (you can see your progress, no one stays the same when you practice– you’re not the same ‘artist’ or create the same ‘art style’ that you have when you started, with astrology it’s a similar thing– not completely the same but similar)

For beginners, knowing that you yourself is holding you back from doing stuff, starting stuff or criticizing yourself because you’re scared others going to criticize you (and beat down your confidence/happiness/ego) is something we’re going to have to tackle 💞Self-imposed fear, constant watching our back or just being afraid to share (procrastination/putting it off until later) is what’s stopping you the most. 💞 

Do something right now, post something. Even if it’s small. It’s a start and it makes a huge difference (what you envision for yourself, how you want to contribute/manifest, what kind of person you want to be– if you’re more of the type to think about your ‘purpose’ as well)

Getting into the habit of doing something because it feels like a relief, like you’re expressing your own knowledge. Like you have more voice or is just confidence in something. Helps. 💞

Even if no one sees it (which is probably what all beginners are praying for skdjn) even if someone yells at you (fear conjured by our own anxiety and wariness of the cancel culture??) you find your own footing and you know your own path. You figure out what you want to do from there because you know you and you know how to write stuff for yourself, alright? 💞

I think for complete beginners getting over this initial fear is hard, like the hardest thing because we might feel we’re essentially ‘putting ourselves out/up there for criticism’ – it’s easy to be cynical/closed-off, it’s harder to be confident/content with ourselves. Learning how to do this for you, to say it with your own voice. The astro community is vast, if your voice isn’t someone’s cuppa tea then they’ll leave? If they like your opinion/want to hear you clarify more, they’ll ask? 💞 

Treat others the way you want to be treated?? 💞 That’s the best advice I can give you if you don’t want to deal with what you fear?? How you talk about stuff, what you say and what kind of people you’re talking about matters. If you talk more shit than you actually give back, then you’re going to attract more shit to you as well? It’s in how we conduct ourselves and how we figure us out (*for how to help ourselves, sometimes shit happens and sometimes it’s hard to get over a past experience or let prejudice color our lens)   💞

We grow and learn, and sometimes we’re embarrassed by our past behaviors– so make sure you’re looking out for your future self as well 💞

Sometimes our fears and ‘ill do it later’ is bigger than our happiness and actual knowledge. You undermine yourself, and your own mind and paranoia is sometimes your biggest foe 💞 

Who’s the one who double checks everything they write? Who’s the one who doesn’t carelessly make up a post because they don’t like getting backlash? It’s you. You’re your biggest editor but also your biggest push back, learn how to be spontaneous and do things now 💞

Mmmm another thing that might be hard for beginners, but will help them a lot is ‘jumping off’ things (applying knowledge). People like interesting posts right? We like things that are beyond the basics, because we know the basics. That’s the guidelines, and sometimes we look back and see interesting posts there too! 💞

But the point is, you gotta learn how to find your own voice and make posts that personally interests you? 💞 Posts that makes you invested, that makes you feel personal. Posts that gets you to self-express your voice 💞 

Applying knowledge isn’t hard, you can do astro-notes for yourself and that’s a pretty efficient and productive start already? 💞 Finding your own methods or what kind of things you want to talk/post about helps too 💞 

Doing things for yourself generally helps alot because it’s there to add to your own voice, your own observation and knowledge in something beyond just theoretical. It’s also there to share and contribute with others 💞 The more you notice, the more you learn how to apply 💞

More and more, you learn how to grasps not working so point by point (I’m learning this and then I’ll go learn that) but how to weave them together and how they differentiate? 💞 That’s where you wanna be at right? Where you can talk about some astro philosophy and re-work how you think/interpretate/learn stuff and share that with others as well 💞

Anyways, those are just things that might help. To keep in mind? Just do stuff. Like do things. That’s how you find support and learn about yourself. You’re never not going to like ‘you’ when you start doing something (like going to a dance class for the first time, trying out something you like. You might be nervous/hyper-aware but you come out knowing where you stand with the idea of it continuing)– you’re going to look at yourself and want to edit more and more. So make sure you start, so you can actually do something with it too! 💞 

ALSO TO NOTE: Try not to be prejudice. This is an icky subject especially with serious traumas, victims who has their own mind-prison (*is in therapy or need it to help with past experiences) we’re all biased, we said that. For those who are in therapy (experiences that has happened in the past) – work on you, we’re here for you. Take your time, it’s good to even be aware of certain trigger points. Please take care of yourself first 💞

For those who are?? less serious?? honestly it’s jus a fun thing like you can joke but you can also be serious just– if you come to me I’m always gonna be like ‘hey its ok’ and?? jus?? talk about their traits and stuff?? 💞💞

That’s some?? Tips for beginners I think?? 💞💞 I hope it’s useful?? 💞💞💞

[heavenlyhollands]

Complicated (Sam Holland Imagine)

Summary: Your friends with benefits situation with Sam gets a little messy when you go to Montreal with him

Word count: 4.2k+ (wow)

A/N: Just in time for the actual wrap of chaos walking lol!! Also I’m so sorry this took so long to get up I rewrote the ending like 7 different times. I hope you guys enjoy and pls send in anymore requests you have!!

Things between you and Sam were….complicated, to say the least.

You were stuck in this strange place, somewhere between friends and lovers. The status of your relationship was never spoken about, and you certainly weren’t going to be the one to break the silence.

Though complicated, you loved what you had with Sam. You had started out as friends, then growing into best friends, and then eventually becoming best friends who occasionally (okay...way more than occasionally) hooked up. It was like the fun part of the relationship without the responsibility and work….at least, that’s how you wanted to see it.

Every pillow talk conversation you had with Sam after sex made you fall a bit harder for him. In times like those, it almost seemed like he really cared about you as more than a friend. But of course, that illusion was shattered every time he left before dawn, or called you an uber home. Of course, he knew nothing of your growing feelings for him, so it wasn’t like he was intentionally hurting you.

One night, after a particularly steamy hook up, he seemed to linger in your bed a little longer than usual. Not that you were complaining.

“Come to Montreal with me.” he proposed suddenly, reaching up and brushing a stray hair out of your face.

“What?” you questioned, clearly confused.

“Come on! Tom’s wrapping Chaos Walking in a week and he’s flying me out for the wrap party. He said I could bring a friend with me if I wanted.” he smiled softly, and you realized that you wouldn’t be able to say no even if you wanted to.

“And, out of all your friends, you want me to come?” you quizzed.

“I mean, yeah. We’re like….special friends.” he smirked, running his fingers lightly down your arm. A trail of goosebumps appeared following his touch.

You somehow felt butterflies at his comment while also feeling your stomach drop, wishing for something more. You quickly sat up, crawling over him and sauntering towards the bathroom.

“So, is that a yes?” he called after you.

You popped your head back in the doorway, “You and I both know that it isn’t an option for me to say no.”

He laughed quietly, “Good. The flight is six days from tomorrow. Or actually, today, since it’s two in the morning.”

“Can’t wait.” you shouted from the bathroom, rubbing face wash into skin vigorously.

As you were patting your face dry, Sam called out to you from your room.

“Come baaaaack, the bed’s already gotten cold.” he whined.

You sighed, taking the few steps back to your room with less enthusiasm than you usually would have if Sam was begging for your presence.

You slipped under the covers easily, pressing your feet against Sam’s shins.

“Jesus Christ, your feet are cold!” he whimpered, followed by a giggle that made it hard to keep a smile off of your face.

You woke up the next morning with Sam still sleeping by your side. You flashed back to the last time he actually spent a full night with you, which was probably around 6 months ago, the first time you slept together. Every time after that it was “Sorry darling, I’ve got an early class tomorrow!” or “Sorry love, don’t wanna risk Harry coming in and seeing you.”.

You tried to exit the bed as gently as possible, so as not to wake Sam, but as soon as you laid your leg on the opposite side of him in an attempt to crawl over him, his eyes slowly blinked open.

“Shit...guess I fell asleep last night.” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the pads of his fingers.

“Not like it’s a crime.” you mumbled to yourself as you surveyed your closet.

“What was that?” he questioned.

“Nothing! Just trying to pick out an outfit for today.” you lied, your back still to him.

He hummed in response, and you can hear him shuffle out of bed and back into his clothes.

“I’ve gotta run. I’ll text you, okay?” he informed you.

You shot a thumbs up at him, “Sounds good.”

He hesitated awkwardly for a moment, before swiftly exiting.

The next few days pass by with limited contact to Sam. A few texts here and there, and one facetime so you could quiz him on a biology concept he was having trouble understanding. But with the imminent problem of your growing feelings for him and the upcoming trip, you thought distance would be the best cure. That maybe if you go a few days without feeling his lips on your neck, or his hands on your hips, you would be cured. You hated feeling so estranged from him, and it hurt every time you made up an excuse to avoid hanging out with him, but it seemed that being with him hurt more.

Sam wanted to spend the night before the flight, but you insisted on him meeting you at your flat a few hours before leaving for the airport.

He arrived earlier than you had planned for, leaving you in nothing but a pair of lacy underwear and a shirt that he had given to you months ago.

“Sorry, I’ll just throw on some pants. Make yourself comfortable!” you called over your shoulder after letting him in.

“You don’t have to put on pants...I’m kinda enjoying this view.” Sam remarked, and you could practically hear his smirk.

“Well someone’s hot and bothered today.” you shot back, re-entering the room donning a pair of sweatpants that you subsequently realized also belonged to Sam at one point.

He shrugged, “It’s been a while. I miss you.”

“And one thing I don’t want to miss is our flight. We gotta go!” you quickly changed the subject, much to Sam’s dismay.

Traffic was way worse than either of you had anticipated, so you had to practically run through security to make it onto the plane, exactly a minute before the doors closed.

“You are so lucky we didn’t miss that.” you playfully glared at him as you made your way down the aisle towards the only open seats on the plane, situated in the last row.

Sam gently tugged the luggage out of your grasp, placing it in the overhead bin with ease. As his arms stretched up, his shirt lifted to reveal a tiny section of his stomach. You forced yourself to look away before he noticed you staring.

“You can’t fall asleep.” Sam bluntly informed you as he got situated in the seat next to you.

“You can’t tell me what to do.” you retorted, making a face at him.

“Love, it’s gonna be eleven pm when we arrive in Montreal. So, if you sleep during the flight, you’re gonna be up all night and then you won’t be able to wake up tomorrow morning.”

You sighed in defeat, unable to argue with his logic.

“So,” he started, reaching into the backpack he stowed underneath the seat in front of him, “I brought some cards to keep us busy.”

“Oh, you’re on, Holland. I happen to be the best go-fish player in the whole world.” you bragged.

“We’ll see about that.” he smirked, beginning to deal the cards.

As soon as the plane landed, Sam shot up and pulled both of your bags down at once, rushing towards the exit despite the many protests from the flight attendants. You knew he was excited to see his brothers, and you couldn’t help but feel warm inside knowing that he was about to be happier than he had been in a while.

You expected to take an uber to the hotel and meet the boys there, but as you were taking the escalator down towards the exit, you noticed three boys holding a giant handmade sign reading “SAMUEL ANTHONY HOLLAND (+ guest)”.

You heard Sam let out a small gasp when he saw them.

“Go.” you told him quietly, knowing how important this reunion was to both parties.

“What?” he asked, turning towards you.

“Go! They’re waiting for you!” you exclaimed, pushing his shoulder lightly.

And with that, he left his luggage with you, racing down the rest of the already moving steps and towards his brothers.

The boys threw the sign onto the ground as he approached, and they all leapt towards each other, engulfing themselves in a giant, bouncing group hug.

As you reached the bottom, you quickly pulled out your phone and took a few pictures, knowing that one of them would want to post it later.

“Oh wow! Y/N!” Harrison enthused, breaking away from the group to approach you.

“It’s so nice to see you, Haz!” you smiled, hugging him lightly.

“You ready for the wrap party tomorrow? It’s gonna be epic.” he remarked.

“That’s kinda the whole reason I’m here.” you replied jokingly.

You greeted the other boys just as cheerfully before finally heading back to the hotel. In the car, you sat in the back between Harry and Sam. As soon as the car pulled out of the parking garage, you felt a wave of exhaustion wash over your body. You laid your head on Sam’s shoulder, telling yourself that you were only gonna rest your eyes until you got to the hotel.

You were jolted out of your rest by Sam exiting the car, causing your body to fall towards the seat.

“Oops! Sorry, love.” Sam apologized, giggling when he saw you just barely catch yourself before your face hit the seat.

“Shut up.” you mumbled sleepily, more or less crawling out of the car.

The boys talked about plans for tomorrow in the elevator, but you were too focused on trying not to fall asleep while standing up to pay attention.

As the elevator doors opened (on the top floor), you saw Tom and Harrison retire into one room, and Harry into the one right next to it. As you checked the room number on your key, you found your room right next to Harry’s.

You slid your key in and shoved open the door, desperate to get into bed and sleep. As you turned to shut the door, you saw that Sam had followed you in, suitcase in tow.

“Wait, are you sleeping here?” you questioned.

He hesitated, “I mean, yeah. Why not?”

You shifted your feet, “It’s just, your brothers….and I don’t want them to assume anything….because we’re not like…...you know….” you trailed off uncomfortably.

“Oh,” realization washed over his face, “yeah. You’re totally right. I’ll just go to Harry’s room then.”

You nodded, wanting nothing more than to lay in bed with him, and to fall asleep to his fingers tracing patterns up and down your arm. But you knew that this was just the way things had to be.

You were awakened the next morning by a loud banging on your door. Expecting it to be Sam, you didn’t bother putting pants on.

As you opened the door, revealing Harry, you immediately slammed the door in his face, running and slipping into a pair of sweatpants before reopening the door.

Harry was still standing there, a slight shade of pink coloring his cheeks, not unlike your blushing face.

“What’s up?” you wondered, desperately trying to ignore the awkward situation at hand.

“We’re going sight-seeing today. Wanna come?” he offered.

“Uh, yeah! Let me just get dressed and I’ll come over to your room.” you agreed.

He nodded, turning and heading back to his room, only a few feet away.

After silently cursing yourself for being stupid enough to answer the door wearing no pants, you changed out of your pajamas and into a sweater and jeans. You met up with everyone at the room and quickly headed out.

“We wanna see as much as we can before we have to be back at the hotel at six to get ready for the party.” Tom explained on the way down to the lobby.

The whole time you were out, Sam seemed to avoid you. Any time you were even standing next to him, he would not-so-subtly move so that there was at least one person separating the two of you.

You were quiet for the majority of the time spent out, wishing that you hadn’t agreed to come in the first place if this is the way Sam was going to treat you.

Back at the hotel, while sliding your key card into the door of your room, Harrison approached you.

“You okay?” he asked casually, leaning against the wall.

You look up at him, mustering up your best fake smile, “Yeah, totally!”

He nodded, clearly not believing you. “He’s an idiot, just so you know.” he mumbled, not giving you a chance to reply before walking back to his own room.

You sighed, trying to get into the mood to party as you shut the door behind you and began rummaging through your suitcase for the dress you bought especially for this occasion. You smiled to yourself as you held the dress out in front of you. If Sam was going to ignore you, then you were sure as hell going to make it hard for him.

The boys finished getting ready in a fraction of the time that it took you, which led to them all piling into your bathroom as you applied makeup (Sam lingered in the doorway silently). They alternated between whining about how long you were taking and picking up random makeup products and asking you what they did.

As you finished, you turned around, showing them the final product. “So, what do you think? Wrap party ready?”

“More like ready for the Oscars.” Harry taunted, causing you to shove his shoulder.

“My makeup would be much nicer if we were going to the Oscars, you div.” you playfully remarked.

“You look great, Harry’s just stupid.” Harrison interjected, and out of the corner of your eye, you swore you saw Sam roll his eyes.

“Well I’d love to continue this little praise circle,” Tom said sarcastically, “but as of right now, I’m late to my own wrap party.”

And with that, everyone piled out of your room and down to the lobby, where a large black SUV was waiting for them outside.

As the car pulled up outside the party venue, a club that was rented out for the night, you began to feel nervous. Usually at events like this, where you didn’t know anyone, Sam was your ally. That didn’t seem to be the case tonight.

The music was blaring as you entered, Tom and Harrison immediately splitting off to greet the producers. Harry went straight for the dancefloor, disappearing into the crowd almost instantly.

You looked over at Sam, who seemed to be looking everywhere but you. You sighed, saying nothing as you headed towards the bar.

You tapped your fingernails against the hardwood bar top as you waited for the bartender to make his way over to you. A large silhouette appeared next to you, flagging down the bartender in a matter of seconds.

“I’ll take a round of bourbon shots.” the mystery man stated.

You kept your eyes trained on the bar, trying not to be pissed about the lack of service you were receiving.

As the shots were given to him, he slid one in front of you. “You seem like a bourbon kind of girl.” he pronounced.

You looked up, preparing yourself to reject him, and were met with the sight of your biggest childhood crush: Nick Jonas.

You had completely forgotten that he was in this movie, so of course you had no idea that he was going to be here. You wanted to punch yourself in the face for that and also the fact that an embarrassing amount of time has passed without your response.

“Thanks.” you replied stupidly, clinking your shot glass with his before downing the bourbon faster than you should have. Your throat burned, but you did your best to ignore it as you downed another one.

Two more shots went by before he introduced himself. “I’m Nick, by the way.”

“Y/N.” you returned, “Oh and thanks for the drinks!”

He laughed, “It was my pleasure. What’s a girl as pretty as you doing by yourself, anyways?”

You tried your best to keep your cool, but the bourbon allowed a schoolgirl giggle to fall past your lips. You took a second to think about how to best describe your reason for being here to Nick. Tom’s brother’s fuckbuddy? No, that was too...complicated.

“I’m a friend of Tom’s.” you settled for a much more simplified version of the truth.

He smiled, “Tom’s a great guy.”

You nodded in response, hoping that he was going to follow up with something so you didn’t have to scramble to keep the conversation going.

“I don’t want to come on too strong or anything, but, uh, do you wanna dance?” he asked, and your heart nearly stopped.

“Yeah, definitely!” you exclaimed, immediately hating yourself for sounding so eager.

You both downed the last two shots before heading out the the dance floor. The dancing was somewhat innocent at first, nothing too x-rated. But halfway through the second song, you spotted Sam from where you were on the dance floor. He was sitting at a high table with Daisy Ridley, talking animatedly. Your heart sunk into your stomach at the sight of them laughing, leaning in towards each other.

You knew it was wrong to feel jealous when you were literally dancing with another guy, but the bourbon running through your veins told you to get revenge. As a new song began, you closed the gap between you and Nick, grinding on him heavily to the beat.

His hands gripped onto your hips, maneuvering them against his. You reached up with one hand, placing it on the back of his neck. You placed your other hand on top of his.

Throughout the song, you knew you loved dancing with Nick. But you also knew that you were thinking about Sam the whole time. And you hated yourself for not being able to enjoy yourself in the way that Sam clearly was.

At the end, Nick asked if you wanted to drink more, and you agreed, hoping that more alcohol would help your forget about Sam.

Five shots later and you were having a hard time standing on your own.

“You know, I don’t think I hold my alcohol as well as you.” you bluntly stated, causing Nick to laugh.

“Yeah, maybe the second round wasn’t a good idea.” he shook his head.

“I’m gonna….” you trailed off, pointing towards the bathrooms, “It was nice meeting you, though! If you and Tom ever do a movie again I’ll be sure to visit the set.”

He smiled, watching to make sure you made it to the bathrooms without falling over.

As you entered the bathrooms, you used the sink to hold you steady. “I-I...can’t believe I just blew off...Nick fucking Jonas. Am I...stupid?!” you slurred to yourself, jutting your palm into your forehead.

Your conversation with yourself was interrupted by the door swinging open, revealing Harry sauntering in coolly. He stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing you.

“Harry!!!” you exclaimed, hobbling over and wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“Oh, jesus. You are so wasted.” Harry observed, the aroma of bourbon almost suffocating him.

You nodded, still holding on to him, mostly for the sake of your balance.

“Did you know you’re in the men’s room?” he questioned, gently leading you towards the exit.

“Oh noooooo!” you cried, burying your face into Harry’s neck in embarrassment.

He did his best to stifle a laugh, obviously failing.

“Where are you taking me?” you questioned, noticing that you were no longer in the bathroom.

Harry ignored you as his eyes scanned the club, searching for the one person that he knew would be able to handle you in your current state. He finally found Sam, still at the table with Daisy. He practically dragged you over there.

“Hey, Sam,” Harry shouted over the music, tapping on Sam’s shoulder.

Sam turned, his smile falling as soon as he saw you latched onto Harry.

“We have a...situation.” Harry explained, tilting his head towards you. You smiled weakly at Sam, knowing this was upsetting him even in your drunken state.

Sam nodded, turning back towards Daisy, “I’m really sorry, but I have to go.”

And with that, he got up and grabbed your arms, taking them from Harry’s shoulders to his, beginning to lead you out of the club.

Before exiting, Sam turned to Harry, who was following close behind.

“I got this. You stay.” he insisted.

“Are you sure, mate? I don’t mind leaving if you need me.” Harry offered, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I’m sure. Go have fun.” Sam affirmed, waving goodbye as Harry disappeared back into the doors of the club.

The car ride back to the hotel was completely silent. You stared at Sam, who stared at his hands, occasionally glancing out the window.

It wasn’t until you had made it into your hotel room that you broke the silence. “I’m sorry, Sam.” Your voice quivered, and you stared at the ceiling to keep from crying.

“Sorry? Why are you sorry, love?” he furrowed his brows, making actual eye contact with you for what felt like the first time this whole trip.

“I-I didn’t mean to make you leave. You were obviously having fun with Daisy.” you explained, twisting your hands together. That was a habit you had when you were drunk.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically, “You’re seriously gonna give me shit about Daisy when you were practically fucking Nick Jonas right in front of my face?”

“Oh, please!” you spat, trying your hardest to keep your speech from slurring, “The only fucking reason I even met Nick was because you were being an asshole and ignoring me! Just like you have been this entire fucking weekend!”

“Right, go ahead and blame all of your mistakes on other people, just like you always fucking do!” he yelled back.

Your jaw dropped at this insult. Sam had never once spoken to you like this.

“Why are you calling it a mistake? I went out and had fun at a party, that’s not a fucking crime. It’s not like I cheated on you, right? Because we’re just special friends, right?” your volume increased with every word spoken, but you couldn’t help it. You were just so damn angry.

Sam was stunned into silence. He turned and took a few steps away from you, making you think that he was going to leave. But before he reached the door, he quickly made his way back towards you.

“Tell me why you’re mad.” he requested quietly, much calmer than he had been a few seconds ago.

“Because you’ve been ignoring me.” you replied simply.

He shook his head, “No, tell me why you’re really mad. Because you were mad before that.”

Before your conscience could stop you, you blurted out, “Because I’m in love with you.”. Your hand flew up to cover your mouth, unable to believe what you just said.

“And I know you don’t feel the same way, so let’s just pretend that I didn’t mean that because I’m drunk.” you quickly added on, unable to deal with a prolonged silence.

Sam smiled, shaking his head as he took a step closer to you. “But that’s where you’re wrong, love.”

Your throat felt as if it closed up, so all you could do was furrow your brows in response.

“Why do you think I would bring you all the way to Montreal?” he laughed lightly, “I’ve been in love with you since I met you. I just thought you wanted to stay-”

“Special friends?” you finished for him, failing to fight back a smile.

He laughed, grabbing your hands, “I never said I was the smartest guy in the world.”

He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. You smiled widely, feeling like everything happening wasn’t real. You had thought about this moment for so long, imagining hundreds of different scenarios. A drunk argument after clubbing was not what you pictured. But now none of that mattered. All that mattered was him.

“I need to sleep.” you mumbled, regretfully pulling away and making your way towards the bed. Sam lingered at the foot of the bed, watching you get situated.

“I’ll see you in the morning, love.” he softly spoke before stepping towards the door.

You heard the door click open, and you knew you couldn’t let him leave.

“Sam,” you called out. His head popped back around the corner eagerly.

“Stay with me.” you requested, patting the empty spot next to you.

He quickly flipped off the lights and crawled under the covers, engulfing you in his warm embrace.

You weren’t sure how much time passed in content silence, but you could’ve stayed like that forever and been happy.

Right as you were dozing off, Sam whispered softly, “Will you still feel the same in the morning?”

You smiled, “Tomorrow morning, and every morning after that.”

[unreadable0]

HI I REALLY LIKE YOUR WRITING LOL. Can you write a quick Kuro/Kura oneshot??? I don't really care what it's on tho. Just pls write!!! thanks

Ahhh I’m blushing! Thanks so much!!

Prompt suggested by my friend Chocoholic221B on AO3

Kuroro took one look at the request and promptly laughed his ass off. They wanted him to what? Risk his life for the sake of a pair of eyeballs of all things? Sure, he’d understand if they’d asked for the recovery of a lost treasure or the procuring of a minor kingdom, or even the stealing of an artifact, but why would they pay five hundred thousand jenny for a body part?

That man must be insane, Kuroro thought, scanning over the details of the mission. Their potential employer foraday was demanding the Phantom Troupe’s assistance in raiding some sort of obscure village in the middle of Lukso Province. The newly-dubbed leader of the Phantom Troupe noted the location with distaste. Trekking through a dense jungle loaded with what most considered demonic savages was not his idea of a fun little excursion for his group. The Scarlet Eyes, which he learned they were called, were beautiful, yes, but getting to them would involve lots of needless slashing and hacking at potentially-poisonous foliage.

Plus, it sounded extremely boring. Although fighting some of the tribesmen would be interesting, he had better things to do. Even though the Phantom Troupe was relatively new, they were gaining quite a name for themselves among the influential of the underworld. Kuroro had a decent stack of alternative job offers to pick through, most of which were significantly more exciting than murdering one person for a pair of eyeballs.

Pulling out another offer, Kuroro immediately forgot about the absurd request as he read over the information of a much more exciting proposal.

Five years later…

It didn’t take very long to finish university, Kurapika supposed, and at age seventeen, he currently held three doctorates in ancient civilizations and the classics. He had made quite a splash when he’d first applied for a position at one of the most prestigious schools in the continent, that he knew. But it was nothing compared to the uproar that occurred when he had passed the 286th Hunter’s Exam at the tender age of sixteen.

He wasn’t really sure why he had decided to take the exam. Kurapika attributed the decision to curiosity, and maybe a bit of boredom. He’d been able to bring a doctor back for Pairo early on, and the other boy had accompanied him to the outside world, but at that time Pairo had still been completing his studies.

Additionally, a Hunter’s License would allow him access to some of the most obscure archaeological sites in the world. So he’d made a place for himself; keeping away from the main excitement of Blacklist hunting and the like to become an Archeological Hunter.

It certainly paled in comparison to the dangers and thrills of Blacklist Hunters, but Kurapika thought that archeology suited him just fine.

Which brought him to the present moment.

“What in the ever-living hell do you think you’re doing?” he hissed, hands ready at his weapons. He had nen, of course, but he didn’t quite want to reveal that to the unexpected intruder just yet.

The dark-haired man barely spared him a glance, not moving from his place beside the ancient totem that had a significant historical and mythological importance.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” the mystery man replied breezily, checking his watch.

A vein popped at Kurapika’s forehead. “Kurapika, Archeological Hunter. You are encroaching on restricted property. Please leave, or suffer the consequences.”

To his further annoyance, the other man just laughed at his statement. “Please, you can’t touch me. Now, if you would just let me go, I’ll call it even and leave you alive.”

Oh that fucker. Kurapika let his aura pour out to its full extent, summoning his bokken blades. It wasn’t the best he could do, but it would work. No need to pull out all the stops just yet.

The thief’s smirk widened as he took in the blond’s impressive display. “Well, this should be fun,” he murmured to himself.

“Excuse me?” Kurapika hissed, slashing at the other’s side, something that the man barely avoided. 

“Oh, you’re actually pretty good,” his opponent acknowledged. For some reason, a book appeared at his adversary’s side. 

Is he a conjurer, then? Kurapika watched with disbelief as a wicked-looking knife appeared in the other’s hands. After exchanging a few blows, Kurapika noticed how the man’s finger was always kept firmly in the book, keeping his page open. That must be it. I just need to get that blasted book out of his hands. 

“You fight quite well,” Kurapika noted, ducking another strike. 

“Thanks, but blades aren’t really my thing,” the other man chuckled. 

“Well, it’s good that they’re mine,” the Kurta countered, landing a glancing blow on his opponent. 

“Not just a pretty face after all, then?” the dark-haired man challenged.

Kurapika didn’t bother to answer, instead choosing that moment to knock the book out of the other’s hands. 

Immediately, he found himself pushed onto the ground, the thief heavy on top of him. 

“Not bad,” the man praised, “only took you two minutes to realize.” Kurapika struggled under the other’s grip, but to no avail. “But, that was barely a fraction of my power.”

Kurapika’s eyes flashed red in warning, and he cursed himself for not wearing contacts. For a brief second, he hoped that the other man hadn’t noticed. No such luck.

“Those eyes,” the other man breathed. 

“What about them?” he spat back, voice coated in venom.

“Well,” the man rolled off of him, offering a hand to the blond to help him up. Kurapika stared at the hand and ignored it, pulling himself up. 

“I’m Kuroro, by the way,” Kuroro said, tone friendly. A if they hadn’t just been trying to beat the crap out of each other just moments before.

The Kurta eyed him warily.

“Now, if you would go to dinner with me, I’ll call it even.”

“Call what even?” Kurapika shot back, immediately on guard.

Kuroro shrugged. “A couple years ago, I had a rather lucrative job offer to massacre your entire village for those Scarlet Eyes, but I didn’t. So, in exchange for not killing everyone you love, I’m proposing that you go on a date with me.”

“What the fuck?” Kurapika exclaimed. “What kind of logic is that? Normal people don’t pick up relationships after considering killing their entire family!”

“Well, then I’ll be the first, then. See you at eight.” And with that, Kuroro started walking away. 

Mind reeling, Kurapika glanced around the ancient temple.

Shit!

That damn thief had made off with the artifact, too!

[sitaaronkepaar]

Daily Rikara Ramblings

Oh helloz bts wala precap! Damn, today’s epi gon be lit! 😻😻😻😻

Lmao, plane me bhi ghatiya shers ne Shivaay ka peecha nahi choda. 😂😂😂

Annika’s like wtf. 😂😂😂😂

Wow, this is too much. And I thought I’d seen everything when Shaadiwala show celebrated haldi on a plane. Rofl. Imma ffwd, this too stooooopid for me. ⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩

Hi Dillu!! 💝💝

Wah, Abhi se running errands. Good boy, Dillu! 😘

Kis cheez ki payment matlab? 😐

Hain, yeh kaunsa rule hai? Jab pehle ka maal nahi bika toh aur kyu order kiya? Woh bhi ek raat me? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Awww, hubby fighting for Gauri rights tho. 😍😍😍

Lol, I knew it. Yeh apna bhanda khud hi phod dega. A la, kya rishta hai tumhara is ladki se and he’ll say pati in anger? Anyway, that’s my headcanon. Maybe that creepy dude’s interest might egg him on too.

Back to the epi, Damn calm down omki. Wow. 😁😁

Lol, both of them showing tadi. Tu jaanta nahi main kaun hu 😂😂😂😂

This air hostess is so rude. Yeh kaunsi ghatiya airlines hai. 😑

Ugh, Gauri looks so prettayyy!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍 Thank god her lime green suit is back! Mere Dil ki saari muraadein poori ho gayi. 😭😭😭😭

Man, Dillu be so extra. Lmao 😂😂😂😂😂

Omg isne pakka apne paise diye hai. This is so gonna come back to bite him in the ass. Gauri’s gonna question him about this. I just know it. Poor Dillu. 😧😧😧😧

Paise bach bhi gaye? LMAFOOO. Omkara Dilpreet pls. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Kunal’s acting is cracking me up though. Rofl. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Uff Dillu bhi kitni philosophy jhadta hai. 🙄😂

“zindagi bhar har ladayi humne akele hi ladi hai”

Aww, she brought up the fighting alone thing again. My bby’s lived a tough life. 😖😖😖 And Omkara didn’t make it any easier for her either. 😢 😢😢😢

Haha, maine pyar kiya toh dekhni hi padi hogi. Ghatiya lip sync jo karna tha. 🙄 How is gauri not traumatised at the mere mention of the name?Poora klpd ho gya tha bichari ka 😢😢

Such a lame save Omkie Dillu. 🙄

“Bahut haste hai aap”

ROFLLLLL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

“MAARENGI?”

Omkara LMFAOOOOOOO. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I bet he’s gonna think rakhi bhandne wali hai. 😂😂

He did. LOL. His panicked reaction cracks me up every single time. I watched the prev one like 5 times. Lmaoooo. 😂😂😂😂

Aww man, it’s so good to see Gauri back to her happy chirpy self again. Sad face don’t suit mah bby. 😘 😘 😘

Omkara regretting every single time he rejected Gauri. Yes, regret it till the day you die. 😏😏😏😏😏

I love this friendship track tbh. Giving me Chulkara teas.

They’re.each.other’s.bffs.now. let me just cry in a corner. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“Ek waqt tha jab main tumhe apni patni man ne se inkar kar raha tha, par koi na ab main sabak seekh gaya hun, ab acha pati nahi toh kya accha hua, accha dost ban ne ki koshish toh karunga hi, aur banunga bhi. Aur shayad agar mera naseeb accha hua, aur is rab ne saath diya toh dubara accha pati bhi banunga”

I’m literally flailing and crying, like idek what to say anymore. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Ek toh his pov, which is rare af.

Upar se him regretting his actions.

Upar se him cherishing her friendship.

UPAR SE ACCEPTING THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND THE PROMISE TO BE A GOOD PATI. EXCUSE ME WHILE I CRY MY EYES OFF!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Him touching his heart while saying this just did things to me. I just……….sigh, why be so sweet dillu. 😢😢😢

And him holding his ears in apology every time she leaves the room just makes my stupid heard melt. Why, Omkara, why? I wanted to hate you for eternity. No fair. 😢😢

Haha, yes bitch. Omkie be right. Aisa kam queenie k siva aur koi ni kar sakta tha. 😍😍

Awww, look @ Gauri’s genuine smile. 😍 Just like Chulbul brought smiles and happiness to Omkara during his darkest of times, Dilpreet is doing the same for Gauri. For the first time since forever, I’m loving how Rikara’s story is shaping up. 💖

Creepy dude looks legit smitten lmao. Can ya blame him tho? Queenie looks like a million bucks 👸👸👸👸

Is he blind though? Itna bada mangalsutra nahi dikh raha? 😐😐😐

Omg dude stop staring at Gauri, it’s so creepy. 😫😫

Kuch bhi kar sakte hai? Guy, chill. Ladke wale ho, bhagwan nahi. But some people do have this ghatiya mentality in India. Ugh.😡😡😡😡

Omg Omkara Dilpreet stop saying, “sardar naal pangaji, not changaji”. You’re not an actual sardar ok. 😒😒😒😒😒

This tashan scene is so long and drawn out, I’m already getting bored. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anyway, now I’m 💯% sure iska bhanda creepy dude ki wajah se hi phootega.

I know ib me logic lagana is plain silly but WHY THE FUCK IS BHAVYA JUST STANDING THERE? Like, I’ve had to hold my pee for several hours cause of turbulence before. You’re not fucking allowed to just stand on a flight. Wtf is this fuckery. Ughhh, my head hurts 🤕🤕🤕

And why does this baby want some action? Dafuq she thinks this is? Why didn’t you just bring your earphones bitch? It’s the 21st century, bring your own entertainment. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Ugh, no more torture, I’m ffwding. ⏩⏩⏩⏩

Oh my god they’re dancing to oonchi hai building. W.T.F is this mental retardation? Head, meet desk 🤕.

Oh god wtf just happened. this is fuckin stupid. Lol. 😂😂😂

Awww DilRi are suh qyut!! 😍😍😍😍

Shadi ki Tarik Bina pandit se consult kiye? 😕

Oh they already have. Ok.👍 👍👍

Ugh, kya bakwas hai. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Mukesh ji ka face ekdum rone wala ho gaya hai. Apne bhai ko bhi dekh lo ek min o creepo. 😂

Creepy guy is legit creeping me out.😖😖😖😖😖

Omkara ka toh accha khasa padha chad raha hai. 🌡️🌡️🌡️🌡️🌡️🌡️

Ewww www ewwwww. He’s so so creepy. EWWWWWW.  😖😖😖😖😖

He’s legit making my skin crawl ugh. 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖

Omkara Dilpreet’s legit staring daggers at this dude. 🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️ I can literally see the murder in his eyes. Aankhiyon se goli maarna band karo Omkie. 😳😳😳😳😳

My eyes still can’t believe they’re looking at a normal shaadi function in Ib lmao. 😂😂😂😂

Ugh, why can’t this dude keep his hands to himself?! Check yo self, before you wreck yo'self, bitch. 😡😡

Omkara Dilpreet looks like he’s planning the creeps murder without getting caught. 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Who’s this guy, Joey?Joey used to open bras by just staring and he’s opening dori’s with the power of his creepy stare. 😂😂😂

Omkara Dilpreet looks like his head is about to explode. 💣💣💥💥💥💥💥💥

Awww, yissss, the famous Dori scene. 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

The way Gauri's looking at him makes me feel like she’s already recognized him. No? Idk. 😂😂😂

But UGH, MUJE APNI THARAK KIS KIS TAREEKON SE SATISFY KARNI PADTI HAI. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Will they ever get close to each other knowing who the other is? Like ever? These are the questions that haunt a Rikara fangirl. 😥😥😥😥😥😥😥

Ok, No need to be so extra Omkara Dilpreet, you can just tell her that her dori’s open. So dramatic. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Btw remember when he actually asked for permission before tying her dori? And ab full haq jama raha hai. 😏😏😏😏😏😏

Hahahhahhaha, Omkara Dilpreet bhi maidaan-e-jang me utar hi gaya. 😂😂😂😂😂

Look at this guy, he’s doing everything he hated for Gauri. Lying, making sweets and now fucking dancing for her. I’m not saying Gauri should, but I’d totes give him another chance. It helps he looks like an actual angel ofc. Sigh, them beautiful eyes. 😍😍😍😍😍😍

Like I bet if it weren’t for patnidharam, Gauri would’ve already fallen for Dilpreet, he’s such a nice, wholesome guy! 💜💜💜💜💜

LOL look at this extra, desi dance-off. I’m dead. 😂😂😂

Chalo ho gaya, the sentiment, every single desi person feels after a big function is over lol. 😂😂😂😂

The creep’s back. Dear god, he’s so creepy, even I feel uncomfortable looking at his advances. Baat toh kya, I don’t even want him to stand near her Gauri, heck, I don’t even want him to breathe the same air as her. 10ft ki doori pe reh bhai. I bet Omkara shares this sentiment too. MAKE HIM OMKIE. MAKE.HIM. 😡😡😡😡

Fuck. Nooooooo. Don’t leave the room Omkara. 😧😧😧😧

Is he doing what I think he’s doing? He’s trying to propose? 😲😲😲😲

Lol, Gauri trying to deflect him. Good try sis. 👏👏

He did. OMG BITCH ARE YOU BLIND? Mangalsutra nahi dikh raha hai? 😡😡😡😡😡

At least he’s upfront about it.

Naam ki shaadi? He knows it’s invalid? 🤔🤔🤔

OMG!!!! ARE MY RIKARA REMARRIAGE DREAMS GON COME TRUE??? 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

NOOOOOO, DON’T GIVE ME THIS HOPE!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

It wasn’t a bad proposal until he started threatening Richa's marriage. Fuck outta here with your blackmail boi! 😡😡😡😡

Man, Gauri is PISSED. Omkara se pehle kahin yeh hi uska murder na kar de. 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

OH THE PRECAP IS LIT. IT IS LIT!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S17

It’s ironic that Kakashi is criticizing the logic of Obito’s Hokage stone face plans when he wanted to keep his mask on when they were going to put his face up

Kakashi’s not even fighting back my poor baby

“These Leaf Shinobi, they all act so tough” YOU BET THEY DO

How has no one wondered where Tenzo is the duration of this whole war 

“Nine-Tails, you’re acting kind of like a captain” I can’t believe Kakashi is making friends with the creature who killed his sensei

I guess even massive demonic chakra animals need to rest sometimes

“I’ll make you Hokage inside this jutsu” Obito needs to stop trying to fulfill people’s dreams through murder

I am simultaneously so relieved and frightened that the Allied Shinobi Forces have finally arrived

Sakura my daughter goes straight to healing Kakashi as soon as she arrives I love her so much 

Logically Kakashi is the only one who stands a chance against Obito but I don’t think anyone wants to ask that of him

Ten-Tails is sporting quite a Look 

Jesus Christ haven’t Shikamaru and Ino been through enough

“Shikamaru and Ino’s fathers might say that as Shinobi they’re glad they died before their children” Neji is trying to comfort Naruto about a death that didn’t even happen to someone he loves

The Hyuga are so beautiful and dramatic bless them

I’m so concerned for Neji please don’t hurt him

NEJI NO

“You hold more than one life in your hands” Even Neji’s last words are about protecting Hinata RIP me but mostly RIP Neji fuck

But who is going to be Tenten’s old man husband 

Sasuke for once in your goddamn life please don’t make things worse

“It looks he’s a bit concerned... about Naruto” Even Orochimaru fucking knows about Naruto and Sasuke how much more Extra can they be

I’m not saying it means something that Ino says “optimistic love” and they cut from her thinking of Sasuke to her thinking of Sakura but  👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

“Which is why I keep telling myself, this time, I will protect them, but then I end up having to face the fact I couldn’t once more” Kakashi has tried so hard to protect everyone but especially his Baby Shinobi and everyone keeps kicking his heart in the ass

 Lee has lost his best friend oh no

Hinata’s so metal she just smacked Naruto’s shoulder back into place midair 

Fkfghdjfgkdfhg these cutaways are killing me always switching between Naruto and Sasuke after they’ve said something Gay

“Let’s go... to the place where all the secrets sleep” Orochimaru loves vague drama too like mentor like student

Sasuke misses the Leaf Itachi you woke up his little bitch heart bless you 

ARE WE GOING TO SEE THE HOKAGE COME TO THE BATTLE

MINATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

For once it’s actually unclear where Sasuke has made things worse or not but I’m very excited

“How, Mr. Orochimaru?” Minato’s so cute and polite event to his enemies

I love Hashirama he’s so beautiful and ridiculous 

“No clan feels deeper love than the Uchiha, and that’s why they suppressed and sealed it away” Tobimara has just summarized Sasuke’s entire life

Listen................. now that we know Uchiha power awakens because of love and Sasuke’s Sharingan awakened because of Naruto........ Sasuke’s love for Naruto is #exposed to the world

“I don’t care, for I am neither innocent nor a child” I mean at least one of those things is true

Sasuke is v bitter about everyone calling him ‘this child’

At this point who isn’t made of Hashirama’s cells it’s like [Oprah voice] “you get a skin graft, you get a skin graft, everybody gets a skin graft!”

Oh no I just realized Minato doesn’t know what Obito has become

Fdfghkjdfhgkfjhg Hashirama and Madara were so adorable 

“To make amends, I’ll let you throw me into the river” HASHIRAMA PLS

I’m not sure what I love more Hashirama’s depressive episodes or his unending snark 

Oh no poor little Senju what has he done except exist

“I considered Madara a gift from the divine” the gayest season of all bless

Madara and Hashirama decided to found a village like most kids decide to form a band

There are so many things which could serve as references to Tenzo but no one is trying to help him

I never expected to have so many feelings about Hashirama and Madara but here they are

[Hashirama as Flynn Rider voice]: Madara you were my new dream

Tobirama wants to propose democracy in a feudal state let’s be real man you created an oligarchy

Hashirama sits on top of his own face to meditate

All the Uchiha want is love and when they get it they’re like “no stop get away from me”

EVERY TIME:

Tobirama: Elder brother’s naivete

Hashirama: [soft indignant gasp]

If Sasuke’s doling out apologies for trying to murder his friends I can think of at least three people who VERY MUCH NEED IT

Madara is hyped af to see Hashirama he’s going wild with glee

Rin used to be a jinchuriki oh no “jinchuriki are treated the same way in every village” :(((

“I won’t be alone,” said Kakashi, before summoning nine puppies

Every time I think Kakashi’s life can’t get any sadder I am wrong

“This hole was opened up by this world of hell” jesus Obito you’re so dramatic

He’s just like Itachi trying to save everyone around him from themselves in the middle of a battle please don’t hurt this sweet and gentle man

I DEMAND that Kakashi live to see Sasuke change he needs this right now 

I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT THESE EPISODES ARE CALLED “HOLE” AND “SOMETHING TO FILL THE HOLE” WHO ALLOWED THIS WHO MADE THAT ACTUAL DECISION

Ten-Tails is completing with Orochimaru for grossest thing alive

“If we’re going to die anyway, we might as well die fighting” SAKURAAAAA

JKGFDKJGHFKJDHGDJHFKJ KURAMA LOVES MINATO

Why does Sasuke say “Sakura huh” as if hasn’t seen her for forty years it’s been like a few months at the most??

“I will become Hokage” SASUKE PLEASE

BOYFRIENDS AS CO-HOKAGE I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Literally everyone on this battlefield thinks Sasuke is Rosemary’s baby and Sakura and Naruto are just like “SASUKE IS OURS NOW GOODBYE”

Shino is so bitter about being ignored for three years that he’s loving the opportunity to make fun of Kiba

“Kiba, well I heard you loud and clear” Hinata sticks up for her bff’s unrealistic dreams

I was a little hesitant about Sasuke coming back to the village after listening to a story from the Hokage but fucking showing up in the middle of everything to declare he’s going to eventually run the village without even bothering to says sorry first is the most Sasuke thing to happen ever probably

I’m so glad Sakura stood up for herself and decided to fight with the boys 

It’s unsurprising that Sasuke’s first real smile in three years was because of an explosion

YASSSSSSSSSSSS SAKURA KDJGGKHFGHKJ TAKE THEM ALL ON

I think Sasuke finding out that Sakura could’ve killed him turns him on a little bit

I love it when Sakura makes boys frown it’s beautiful

Lmao @ Naruto and Sasuke checking each other out on the battlefield 

This is exactly what happens when you put a bunch of teens together they all start flirting and showing off even if it’s a war zone

Sasuke glancing at Sai: Listen bitch I have the monopoly on the dark-haired strategist on Team 7

NO ONE DOES DRAMA LIKE TEAM 7 MY BABIES

“He tried to kill me and it was irresistible” someone get Karin in therapy

I can’t believe the villains are having a weird-off contest

I understand Orochimaru even less than I ever have but I’m glad Gaara’s going to be okay

[adambstingus]

Leave Lauren Alone: ‘Summer House’ Recap

Catch up on last week’s recap here!

What better way to continue the momentum from last nights unpredictable Oscars ceremony than with an episode of? Say what you want about Warren Beatty but I think we can all agree that years from now, will stand along with in the cultural zeitgeist.

As if losing best picture wasnt upsetting enough, now they tell me theres only 3 weeks left of ! How could they do this to me?

We pick up where we left off: Lindsey finding out about Everetts potential foursome.

She confronts him. Everetts first response is What? which is a sign he’s definitely about to lie his face off.

Everett: Well thats just impossible because I physically cannot fit in a bed with four people.

Airtight logic. Wow.

Im sorry, but Id trust Stephen over my own boyfriend. And Ive never even met Stephen (a sad but true fact).

Lindsey: Did you bring me a coffee?

Everett: I brought you something better *pulls out a sunflower*

Id be like bitch but where my coffee at tho.

Cristina says she loves to break a story which is a fancy way of saying she loves to gossip.

Just when you think Stephen cant get any better, he stops a workout to puke in the bushes. Honestly Im a little concerned for myself due to how much Im stanning for this random man.

Kyles like Theres two weekends left, Im a single guy, its a marathon and theres no quitting. I think thats what Kendrick Lamar meant when he said I pray my dick gets big as the Eiffel Tower so I could fuck the world for 72 hours.

Lets take a moment to discuss Lindseys shirt.

“Fridays we be like squad goals”? It’s so bad I’m convinced it has to be satire.

Lauren: I feel like I need to have a conversation with Carl.

NO YOU DONT. You went to froyo and he went to one dinner with your family. It was one time!

Lauren: IDK where you got this assumption that I wanted some grandiose gesture.

Strong words coming from the girl who took her hookup of a few weeks to meet her parents.

Lauren: I dont hook up with someone for three weeks and then expect a proposal.

Nobody said you were expecting a proposal but we all think you’re expecting a relationship.

SURPRISE this convo ends in a kiss. I will begrudgingly give Ashley a +1 for predicting this.

Lauren: IDK if Carls crazy because he keeps coming back, or if Im crazy because I keep taking him back.

You. Its you. Youre the crazy one.

Everetts doing some fundraiser race thing that I cant reasonably make fun of. America! For the troops!

Damn this group of like 10 people raised over $25K? How rich are they?

I said I wouldnt make fun of this, but this race is a bootleg version of Thats all Im gonna say.

Did Ashley break her ankle without even falling? That’s impressive.

I was super into my fruit salad until Lindsey said together Everett and I can take over the world. THANKS FOR THAT. You owe me $2.79. (What I meant is, I threw it up. OK I’ll go fuck myself now. Mahalo.)

Oh my God if Lauren is gonna overreact that much over Ashley rolling her ankle she should talk to me after my twin tore her ACL. Ill spare you the details of that trying ordeal for me, but long story short I I lived. Against all odds.

So shes in a cast but her ankle is not broken

Do you really need training on crutches? You put them under your arms, you walk.

Ashley on the couch:

DAMNNN BRAD LEVEL 5 ADVANCED PETTINESS: Well you wouldnt have rolled your ankle if you were here in California.

Ashley is more upset over leaving her sister than about leaving her husband. #Priorties

I would rip on the fact that this group hired a party bus to go to a brewery, but Im honestly jealous. Are you guys gonna be in Montauk this summer? Pls tweet us if so.

Fuck a party bus, this is like a party jitney. Im dead.

Kyle holding an entire cooler of mojito for himself is my spirit animal.

Carl: What are you supposed to do on a party bus? They dont call it a chill bus.

Insightful.

Ashley: Lauren and Carl are PDA like theyre in seventh grade.

Also Ashley: I just want Lauren to find a guy and be married like, yesterday because shes really missing out on life.

And again, Ashley: What is Lauren gonna do without me? I dont trust her to make decisions alone.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, she is hooking up with a guy whos not that into her, shes not shooting heroin! Jesus fucking Christ, leave Lauren alone! (Yes, I wrote that in my head in Chris Crocker’s voice, in case you were wondering.)

OK but cmon Jaclyn WAS all up on Carl at the bonfire. Objective, non-alternative fact. Check my recap, I wrote it down word for word in the event that something like this would happen. Check the receipts.

Carl probably just came watching Lauren do that beer bong. Honestly, I did.

Actual footage of me when Ashley said Crashley:

STEPHEN IS BACK. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DONT EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN.

Jaclyn, you can join me and Stassi on team forever alone. Consider this your formal invitation.

Honestly, Stephen said what I was gonna say: Why do we GAF that people made out? Are we in the 4th grade? Let me know when someone fucks.

Damn has this shit really been going on for 10 weeks already? Jesus Christ. What has happened to my brain cells.

Everett tries to deny the bed incident.

Stephen: You said it.*Sips drink*

ScrewStephen really belongs on

Not even going to summarize this argument. Fuck all this, I side with Lindsey on this one. That shits hella inappropriate and Everett obviously knew it, otherwise he wouldnt have lied about it. BOOM. LAWYERED.

Cristina got cornered and shes forgotten what words are and her voice just went up like 3 octaves. Anddd that’s all for this week, folks.

Check out our Vanderpump Rules recap!

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/21/leave-lauren-alone-summer-house-recap/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/163245115087

[samanthasroberts]

Leave Lauren Alone: ‘Summer House’ Recap

Catch up on last week’s recap here!

What better way to continue the momentum from last nights unpredictable Oscars ceremony than with an episode of? Say what you want about Warren Beatty but I think we can all agree that years from now, will stand along with in the cultural zeitgeist.

As if losing best picture wasnt upsetting enough, now they tell me theres only 3 weeks left of ! How could they do this to me?

We pick up where we left off: Lindsey finding out about Everetts potential foursome.

She confronts him. Everetts first response is What? which is a sign he’s definitely about to lie his face off.

Everett: Well thats just impossible because I physically cannot fit in a bed with four people.

Airtight logic. Wow.

Im sorry, but Id trust Stephen over my own boyfriend. And Ive never even met Stephen (a sad but true fact).

Lindsey: Did you bring me a coffee?

Everett: I brought you something better *pulls out a sunflower*

Id be like bitch but where my coffee at tho.

Cristina says she loves to break a story which is a fancy way of saying she loves to gossip.

Just when you think Stephen cant get any better, he stops a workout to puke in the bushes. Honestly Im a little concerned for myself due to how much Im stanning for this random man.

Kyles like Theres two weekends left, Im a single guy, its a marathon and theres no quitting. I think thats what Kendrick Lamar meant when he said I pray my dick gets big as the Eiffel Tower so I could fuck the world for 72 hours.

Lets take a moment to discuss Lindseys shirt.

“Fridays we be like squad goals”? It’s so bad I’m convinced it has to be satire.

Lauren: I feel like I need to have a conversation with Carl.

NO YOU DONT. You went to froyo and he went to one dinner with your family. It was one time!

Lauren: IDK where you got this assumption that I wanted some grandiose gesture.

Strong words coming from the girl who took her hookup of a few weeks to meet her parents.

Lauren: I dont hook up with someone for three weeks and then expect a proposal.

Nobody said you were expecting a proposal but we all think you’re expecting a relationship.

SURPRISE this convo ends in a kiss. I will begrudgingly give Ashley a +1 for predicting this.

Lauren: IDK if Carls crazy because he keeps coming back, or if Im crazy because I keep taking him back.

You. Its you. Youre the crazy one.

Everetts doing some fundraiser race thing that I cant reasonably make fun of. America! For the troops!

Damn this group of like 10 people raised over $25K? How rich are they?

I said I wouldnt make fun of this, but this race is a bootleg version of Thats all Im gonna say.

Did Ashley break her ankle without even falling? That’s impressive.

I was super into my fruit salad until Lindsey said together Everett and I can take over the world. THANKS FOR THAT. You owe me $2.79. (What I meant is, I threw it up. OK I’ll go fuck myself now. Mahalo.)

Oh my God if Lauren is gonna overreact that much over Ashley rolling her ankle she should talk to me after my twin tore her ACL. Ill spare you the details of that trying ordeal for me, but long story short I I lived. Against all odds.

So shes in a cast but her ankle is not broken

Do you really need training on crutches? You put them under your arms, you walk.

Ashley on the couch:

DAMNNN BRAD LEVEL 5 ADVANCED PETTINESS: Well you wouldnt have rolled your ankle if you were here in California.

Ashley is more upset over leaving her sister than about leaving her husband. #Priorties

I would rip on the fact that this group hired a party bus to go to a brewery, but Im honestly jealous. Are you guys gonna be in Montauk this summer? Pls tweet us if so.

Fuck a party bus, this is like a party jitney. Im dead.

Kyle holding an entire cooler of mojito for himself is my spirit animal.

Carl: What are you supposed to do on a party bus? They dont call it a chill bus.

Insightful.

Ashley: Lauren and Carl are PDA like theyre in seventh grade.

Also Ashley: I just want Lauren to find a guy and be married like, yesterday because shes really missing out on life.

And again, Ashley: What is Lauren gonna do without me? I dont trust her to make decisions alone.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, she is hooking up with a guy whos not that into her, shes not shooting heroin! Jesus fucking Christ, leave Lauren alone! (Yes, I wrote that in my head in Chris Crocker’s voice, in case you were wondering.)

OK but cmon Jaclyn WAS all up on Carl at the bonfire. Objective, non-alternative fact. Check my recap, I wrote it down word for word in the event that something like this would happen. Check the receipts.

Carl probably just came watching Lauren do that beer bong. Honestly, I did.

Actual footage of me when Ashley said Crashley:

STEPHEN IS BACK. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DONT EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN.

Jaclyn, you can join me and Stassi on team forever alone. Consider this your formal invitation.

Honestly, Stephen said what I was gonna say: Why do we GAF that people made out? Are we in the 4th grade? Let me know when someone fucks.

Damn has this shit really been going on for 10 weeks already? Jesus Christ. What has happened to my brain cells.

Everett tries to deny the bed incident.

Stephen: You said it.*Sips drink*

ScrewStephen really belongs on

Not even going to summarize this argument. Fuck all this, I side with Lindsey on this one. That shits hella inappropriate and Everett obviously knew it, otherwise he wouldnt have lied about it. BOOM. LAWYERED.

Cristina got cornered and shes forgotten what words are and her voice just went up like 3 octaves. Anddd that’s all for this week, folks.

Check out our Vanderpump Rules recap!

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/21/leave-lauren-alone-summer-house-recap/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/21/leave-lauren-alone-summer-house-recap/

[allofbeercom]

Leave Lauren Alone: ‘Summer House’ Recap

Catch up on last week’s recap here!

What better way to continue the momentum from last nights unpredictable Oscars ceremony than with an episode of? Say what you want about Warren Beatty but I think we can all agree that years from now, will stand along with in the cultural zeitgeist.

As if losing best picture wasnt upsetting enough, now they tell me theres only 3 weeks left of ! How could they do this to me?

We pick up where we left off: Lindsey finding out about Everetts potential foursome.

She confronts him. Everetts first response is What? which is a sign he’s definitely about to lie his face off.

Everett: Well thats just impossible because I physically cannot fit in a bed with four people.

Airtight logic. Wow.

Im sorry, but Id trust Stephen over my own boyfriend. And Ive never even met Stephen (a sad but true fact).

Lindsey: Did you bring me a coffee?

Everett: I brought you something better *pulls out a sunflower*

Id be like bitch but where my coffee at tho.

Cristina says she loves to break a story which is a fancy way of saying she loves to gossip.

Just when you think Stephen cant get any better, he stops a workout to puke in the bushes. Honestly Im a little concerned for myself due to how much Im stanning for this random man.

Kyles like Theres two weekends left, Im a single guy, its a marathon and theres no quitting. I think thats what Kendrick Lamar meant when he said I pray my dick gets big as the Eiffel Tower so I could fuck the world for 72 hours.

Lets take a moment to discuss Lindseys shirt.

“Fridays we be like squad goals”? It’s so bad I’m convinced it has to be satire.

Lauren: I feel like I need to have a conversation with Carl.

NO YOU DONT. You went to froyo and he went to one dinner with your family. It was one time!

Lauren: IDK where you got this assumption that I wanted some grandiose gesture.

Strong words coming from the girl who took her hookup of a few weeks to meet her parents.

Lauren: I dont hook up with someone for three weeks and then expect a proposal.

Nobody said you were expecting a proposal but we all think you’re expecting a relationship.

SURPRISE this convo ends in a kiss. I will begrudgingly give Ashley a +1 for predicting this.

Lauren: IDK if Carls crazy because he keeps coming back, or if Im crazy because I keep taking him back.

You. Its you. Youre the crazy one.

Everetts doing some fundraiser race thing that I cant reasonably make fun of. America! For the troops!

Damn this group of like 10 people raised over $25K? How rich are they?

I said I wouldnt make fun of this, but this race is a bootleg version of Thats all Im gonna say.

Did Ashley break her ankle without even falling? That’s impressive.

I was super into my fruit salad until Lindsey said together Everett and I can take over the world. THANKS FOR THAT. You owe me $2.79. (What I meant is, I threw it up. OK I’ll go fuck myself now. Mahalo.)

Oh my God if Lauren is gonna overreact that much over Ashley rolling her ankle she should talk to me after my twin tore her ACL. Ill spare you the details of that trying ordeal for me, but long story short I I lived. Against all odds.

So shes in a cast but her ankle is not broken

Do you really need training on crutches? You put them under your arms, you walk.

Ashley on the couch:

DAMNNN BRAD LEVEL 5 ADVANCED PETTINESS: Well you wouldnt have rolled your ankle if you were here in California.

Ashley is more upset over leaving her sister than about leaving her husband. #Priorties

I would rip on the fact that this group hired a party bus to go to a brewery, but Im honestly jealous. Are you guys gonna be in Montauk this summer? Pls tweet us if so.

Fuck a party bus, this is like a party jitney. Im dead.

Kyle holding an entire cooler of mojito for himself is my spirit animal.

Carl: What are you supposed to do on a party bus? They dont call it a chill bus.

Insightful.

Ashley: Lauren and Carl are PDA like theyre in seventh grade.

Also Ashley: I just want Lauren to find a guy and be married like, yesterday because shes really missing out on life.

And again, Ashley: What is Lauren gonna do without me? I dont trust her to make decisions alone.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, she is hooking up with a guy whos not that into her, shes not shooting heroin! Jesus fucking Christ, leave Lauren alone! (Yes, I wrote that in my head in Chris Crocker’s voice, in case you were wondering.)

OK but cmon Jaclyn WAS all up on Carl at the bonfire. Objective, non-alternative fact. Check my recap, I wrote it down word for word in the event that something like this would happen. Check the receipts.

Carl probably just came watching Lauren do that beer bong. Honestly, I did.

Actual footage of me when Ashley said Crashley:

STEPHEN IS BACK. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DONT EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN.

Jaclyn, you can join me and Stassi on team forever alone. Consider this your formal invitation.

Honestly, Stephen said what I was gonna say: Why do we GAF that people made out? Are we in the 4th grade? Let me know when someone fucks.

Damn has this shit really been going on for 10 weeks already? Jesus Christ. What has happened to my brain cells.

Everett tries to deny the bed incident.

Stephen: You said it.*Sips drink*

ScrewStephen really belongs on

Not even going to summarize this argument. Fuck all this, I side with Lindsey on this one. That shits hella inappropriate and Everett obviously knew it, otherwise he wouldnt have lied about it. BOOM. LAWYERED.

Cristina got cornered and shes forgotten what words are and her voice just went up like 3 octaves. Anddd that’s all for this week, folks.

Check out our Vanderpump Rules recap!

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/21/leave-lauren-alone-summer-house-recap/

[jimdsmith34]

Leave Lauren Alone: ‘Summer House’ Recap

Catch up on last week’s recap here!

What better way to continue the momentum from last nights unpredictable Oscars ceremony than with an episode of? Say what you want about Warren Beatty but I think we can all agree that years from now, will stand along with in the cultural zeitgeist.

As if losing best picture wasnt upsetting enough, now they tell me theres only 3 weeks left of ! How could they do this to me?

We pick up where we left off: Lindsey finding out about Everetts potential foursome.

She confronts him. Everetts first response is What? which is a sign he’s definitely about to lie his face off.

Everett: Well thats just impossible because I physically cannot fit in a bed with four people.

Airtight logic. Wow.

Im sorry, but Id trust Stephen over my own boyfriend. And Ive never even met Stephen (a sad but true fact).

Lindsey: Did you bring me a coffee?

Everett: I brought you something better *pulls out a sunflower*

Id be like bitch but where my coffee at tho.

Cristina says she loves to break a story which is a fancy way of saying she loves to gossip.

Just when you think Stephen cant get any better, he stops a workout to puke in the bushes. Honestly Im a little concerned for myself due to how much Im stanning for this random man.

Kyles like Theres two weekends left, Im a single guy, its a marathon and theres no quitting. I think thats what Kendrick Lamar meant when he said I pray my dick gets big as the Eiffel Tower so I could fuck the world for 72 hours.

Lets take a moment to discuss Lindseys shirt.

“Fridays we be like squad goals”? It’s so bad I’m convinced it has to be satire.

Lauren: I feel like I need to have a conversation with Carl.

NO YOU DONT. You went to froyo and he went to one dinner with your family. It was one time!

Lauren: IDK where you got this assumption that I wanted some grandiose gesture.

Strong words coming from the girl who took her hookup of a few weeks to meet her parents.

Lauren: I dont hook up with someone for three weeks and then expect a proposal.

Nobody said you were expecting a proposal but we all think you’re expecting a relationship.

SURPRISE this convo ends in a kiss. I will begrudgingly give Ashley a +1 for predicting this.

Lauren: IDK if Carls crazy because he keeps coming back, or if Im crazy because I keep taking him back.

You. Its you. Youre the crazy one.

Everetts doing some fundraiser race thing that I cant reasonably make fun of. America! For the troops!

Damn this group of like 10 people raised over $25K? How rich are they?

I said I wouldnt make fun of this, but this race is a bootleg version of Thats all Im gonna say.

Did Ashley break her ankle without even falling? That’s impressive.

I was super into my fruit salad until Lindsey said together Everett and I can take over the world. THANKS FOR THAT. You owe me $2.79. (What I meant is, I threw it up. OK I’ll go fuck myself now. Mahalo.)

Oh my God if Lauren is gonna overreact that much over Ashley rolling her ankle she should talk to me after my twin tore her ACL. Ill spare you the details of that trying ordeal for me, but long story short I I lived. Against all odds.

So shes in a cast but her ankle is not broken

Do you really need training on crutches? You put them under your arms, you walk.

Ashley on the couch:

DAMNNN BRAD LEVEL 5 ADVANCED PETTINESS: Well you wouldnt have rolled your ankle if you were here in California.

Ashley is more upset over leaving her sister than about leaving her husband. #Priorties

I would rip on the fact that this group hired a party bus to go to a brewery, but Im honestly jealous. Are you guys gonna be in Montauk this summer? Pls tweet us if so.

Fuck a party bus, this is like a party jitney. Im dead.

Kyle holding an entire cooler of mojito for himself is my spirit animal.

Carl: What are you supposed to do on a party bus? They dont call it a chill bus.

Insightful.

Ashley: Lauren and Carl are PDA like theyre in seventh grade.

Also Ashley: I just want Lauren to find a guy and be married like, yesterday because shes really missing out on life.

And again, Ashley: What is Lauren gonna do without me? I dont trust her to make decisions alone.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, she is hooking up with a guy whos not that into her, shes not shooting heroin! Jesus fucking Christ, leave Lauren alone! (Yes, I wrote that in my head in Chris Crocker’s voice, in case you were wondering.)

OK but cmon Jaclyn WAS all up on Carl at the bonfire. Objective, non-alternative fact. Check my recap, I wrote it down word for word in the event that something like this would happen. Check the receipts.

Carl probably just came watching Lauren do that beer bong. Honestly, I did.

Actual footage of me when Ashley said Crashley:

STEPHEN IS BACK. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DONT EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN.

Jaclyn, you can join me and Stassi on team forever alone. Consider this your formal invitation.

Honestly, Stephen said what I was gonna say: Why do we GAF that people made out? Are we in the 4th grade? Let me know when someone fucks.

Damn has this shit really been going on for 10 weeks already? Jesus Christ. What has happened to my brain cells.

Everett tries to deny the bed incident.

Stephen: You said it.*Sips drink*

ScrewStephen really belongs on

Not even going to summarize this argument. Fuck all this, I side with Lindsey on this one. That shits hella inappropriate and Everett obviously knew it, otherwise he wouldnt have lied about it. BOOM. LAWYERED.

Cristina got cornered and shes forgotten what words are and her voice just went up like 3 octaves. Anddd that’s all for this week, folks.

Check out our Vanderpump Rules recap!

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/21/leave-lauren-alone-summer-house-recap/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/leave-lauren-alone-summer-house-recap.html