#pls I need someone who is as so totally normal about them as I am I need someone to yell ag

[toomiieimagiines]

hihihi

uhm so am i allowed to request again (i don’t wanna spam) 😭😭🙏

and if i am can u pls do a rui x hopeless romantic best friend reader (i’m totally normal about best friends to lovers lmfao)

so like the reader is always yapping about hot guys and it’s a little angsty at first because rui is thinking to himself ‘why did i have to fall inlove with someone that won’t ever choose me’ and then one day a hot guy comes up to reader and asks her out, reader is about to say yes but then she realises that she barely knew him and there was someone (rui) who had been by her side since day one and she figures out who she really loves (RUIII) so she rejects him and when rui asks why she just hugs him and says ‘because your the one i really want’ mwah mwah i feel like such a genius (i really hope this made sense lmao be prepared for a million bestie-> lovers and angst-> fluff rui requests 😼)

thank youyoyoyoyoyuuu!!

hi guys! i’m so so incredibly sorry for how inactive i have been! unfortunately, the fanfic writer curse caught up to me, and i’ve had considerably bad things happen to me! ToT

i had developed a really bad addiction after a recent episode - which may be why i’ve loved to write my characters so miserable, but they get a happy ending in the end - and have recently relapsed after a couple months. i’ve also been struggling with a lot of things, like being bullied again, pressure from theater, classes, autism, parental issues, memory of past trauma, having no friends, things like that. i’ve just been having a really hard time, so writing has been super difficult for me. i’m currently having some of the worst mental health in my life, and am un-recovering from other things i’ve had in the past too, after seeing the results of my recovery. sorry if this triggered anybody, i just needed to get this off my chest, and felt also that i should explain where i have been. you all supporting me has kept me going, and i hope you enjoy this one too! LETS END THE PITY PARTY!!!

in other - not so depressing news - here you guys go!! sorry for OOCness, obviously this is a more dramatic approach to a story! happy ending, j tried to write the inner narration differently for how you two were feeling at the time.. and ty once again for such a great idea, mama ^3^

“I don’t think I could stand to be where you don’t see me.”

If he has to sit here and listen to this one more time, he thinks he’ll go insane.

Rui Kamishiro loves you. He truly does. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, his-

Never mind.

Rui loves you, but he absolutely HATES your taste in guys, and it’s driving him nuts. Nodding and agreeing can only get him so far before he wants to rip his own hair out, and tonight is no exception.

“I give up! All boys are dumb, I don’t need them!” You lament, resting your chin in your hands. It’s the same song and dance over and over. You swear off boys, you get attention, you get sucked in, and he has to pick up the pieces when it inevitably fails. How many times has he thought about how much better he would treat you now? He doesn’t know. He’d be a classical lover, he’d never speak to you the way those stupid unprincipled high school boys do.

Gross. That’s his best friend, why’d he think that? And when did he start being so self confident? He really outta look at himself in the mirror. What an egomaniac he’s turning out to be.

He shakes his head.

“You do know I’m still a boy, right?” He prods, trying to cheer you up. He knows this situation well, and he knows exactly how to make you feel better. Again he’d pull you out of this, and again he’d watch you fall in love.

He wishes you could be happy. He wishes you weren’t in love with being in love. You’re too pure for true love, love is disgusting, depraved, and unkind. You’re not anything like that.

“I know, I know, but you’re the only good one!” You point, words self-assured. “I don’t need a boyfriend, you do everything boyfriendy for me anyway!”

Ouch. Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what he needed to hear right now. He’s not gonna dwell on that last bit for now, he’ll wait until he’s home. Then he can- he doesn’t know. Cry, or something juvenile like that.

“So I’m back-up-boyfriend?” He masks himself in jest, smiling teasingly at you.

“Eh, maybe,” you snicker, “you’d definitely be cute if you weren’t my friend.”

He turns to his school work sharply, trying to mask his complete and utter despair. Ugh, why does he have to be so dramatic? His own personality makes his skin crawl with disgust and hatred, and that only makes him cringe more. He could think about how obnoxious he is all day. Maybe he should use that go home and cry pass early. He pretends to check the time, as if that isn’t all he’s been doing.

“It’s getting late, after this problem I should get going.” He mutters, scribbling some random numbers into his notebook. You yawn in response, being broken out of absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.

“Ugh, I wish you didn’t have to go!” You drape an arm over his torso, trying to hold him in. He smiles fondly, wrestling to get you off of him.

“I’d have to walk home in the dark then, do you want that?” He knows you’d never let him, and he sees it immediately.

Your face looks knowing, and you let him go right away. It amuses him at first, but quickly fills him with overwhelming pity. You’re so kindhearted it makes him sick. You shouldn’t worry about someone like him, it’s bad for your health.

“Would you like me to walk home with you?!” You shoot up, the idea of him not being safe running through your head. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. How emasculating! He’s not a helpless young girl! He’s just as manly as those boys who you long for, he’s not a puppy to be walked!

God, is jealously turning him into a bigot? He shakes his head once again, this time not just to clear his thoughts. He’s absolutely not letting you walk him home, it’d be mortifying. He takes your attention belly up, you should have a break. Maybe some time to yourself for a change? God, Rui, get a grip.

“I’m fine, I don’t want you out late by yourself either,” he assures, looking at you in haste.

“Ah. You have a point.”

“I always do.” He means more to that, and he wishes he could tell you. He wants you to see that even he knows what he’s talking about. He needs you to see him, just for once. Not as a best friend, or backup boyfriend, just as a regular one. As a lover who dances in the rain, or ties your shoes

He needs to stop. He shouldn’t think about you like that. It’s lecherous.

You two exchange goodbyes, giving him a long hug (much to his horror). He hates how feverish it is it hold you like this, it makes him feel guilty. His body gets hot, his cheeks flare up, his throat feels tight- it makes him feel like a pervert, even if his thoughts are the farthest thing from lewd.

He feels that everything he thinks about you is repulsive, though.

“Be safe”’s and “See you later”’s are passed between you two, and he walks down your front steps, now completely alone. His eyes scan the damp pavement, seeing the golden hues from the sky light the boring rock. That’s how he feels about you, he decides. You’re the sun, and he’s the pavement. He humors himself by thinking that your suitors are the clouds, stopping you from shining your light for him so he can grow weeds in the cracks of his soul. That’s what these feelings are. Weeds.

He wants to live life beautifully with you, he decides. He wants to tie your shoes, he wants to twirl you as you dance.

He wishes he could be the moon. Something of consequence- of importance, but he’s just the pavement. Not the earth, not the stars, not the clouds, or rain, he’s just a man made monster who destroys nature - you - and is walked over by people who do matter.

He should quit being this way, he grumbles, it doesn’t do anybody any good to be so flowery. He’s too girly- too weak. Maybe that’s why you don’t like him. If you’re willing to date anything that moves other than him, that must mean he’s on a completely new level, huh?

That’s what dreaming gets you, Rui. Crushed dreams and embarrassment.

He lets out a pitiful sigh, kicking a pebble with his shoe. He sees a worm in a lawn which reminds him of himself, he sees a couple shopping for a new game which reminds him of you, he sees a convenience store which reminds him that he’s hungry-

His life can be so mundane sometimes, what a drag.

He’s about to reach his front door, when he steps into a puddle. It feels like an appropriate representation of his life right now. A sense of disgraceful hilarity washes over him, and he begins to laugh. He laughs a while, he laughs as he takes his shoes off, he laughs as he peels his button up down, and he laughs as he lays in his bed. How dramatic he could be some times!

He falls asleep quickly. He has a dream about being on stage and forgetting his lines.

He wakes up with a thud, he fell out of bed. How embarrassing. He decides to check his phone.

Weirdo: RUII

Weirdo: wanna hang w me 2day?? u don’t have dance time right??

Weirdo: gonna kill you. WAKE UP

Me: I’m awake, sorry!

Weirdo: finally sleeping beauty

Weirdo: wanna get a snack? i’m simply starved…

Me: When?

Weirdo: an hr maybe…

Me: Okay :) I’ll tell you when I leave.

Weirdo: kay!!

He really doesn’t feel like being social today, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to see you. He’s an obscene degenerate when it comes to you, pouncing on your attention like a sick dog. It’s mortifyingly pathetic.

He gets dressed, throwing on a boring striped sweater. It’s getting colder outside recently, and he’s always ran cold anyway. His hands are shaky and nervous as he brushes his teeth, the anxiousness to see you making his body jittery. He considers breakfast, but quickly shuts the idea down. He doesn’t want to be stressed out - at least more than he already is - when he sees you. Twitchy hands lock his door, and he gets a few feet away before he double checks that he did, in fact, lock it. Pull yourself together, Rui! He screams at himself.

The walk is just as unexciting as he expected, albeit a bit chilly. He’s feeling thankful for the sweater. The breeze runs its hands through his hair, and he’s reminded that winter is coming. He always liked Autumn flowers the best, hibiscus flowers are pretty too, he supposes. It’s nice to have the warmth of the sun soothing his cold hands during summer, for sure.

He trips over a rock on the way, and his pants get wet on the knees. Khaki blends into an ugly brown, and he sighs. How unlucky, would anything go right for him today?

Turns out it will, you look really good today.

You great him at the door, practically buzzing with eagerness. It makes him smile, knowing that you do, in fact, want to see him. Or at least are acting like it. You’re a good friend to him, he’s lucky to have you.

“Rui!” You hug him as a greeting, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His heart soothes, eyes closing in relaxation. Problems feel obscure and distant when you two are like this, despite his reluctance last night. He can forget about corrupt feelings - or misguided love- and he can just be your best friend. Despite his apprehension to be cared for, he is flattered that you, at least, seem to like him.

“Hey.” He breaths you in, his voice soft. He hopes you don’t notice, it’s embarrassing.

“Hey!” You reply, pulling away. “Big things planned, Rui!”

“What big things?” He asks, amused. “Big things” for you were junk food and shopping.

“Big things! It’s a surprise!” You put your shoes on, and he can’t help but feel jealous as he watches your hands tie them dutifully. He sighs, stretching. He decides to make it a challenge to act normal the whole day. No weird thoughts are going to beguile his mind, he promises himself.

You lock your front door, twisting the knob to make sure that it did, in fact, lock. This fills him with a child-like sense of delight, maybe you two really were similar.

Nah, not possible. You’re too pure - too perfect. Ugh, Rui, no more stupid thoughts.

He watches you check the time, make a face at a nearby bird, and cover your cheeks with your hands. You suddenly perk up, wrapping your arms around him.

“Warm me up, will ya?” You scowl at the cool air, grip tightening. He gulps. It’s weird he reacts like this, considering you two have done things like this all the time. It’s normal, so why does he have to be such a creep? His arms wrap around yours, running his hands up and down to create heat.

“Should’ve worn a jacket,” he chides, “wouldn’t be cold, y’know?” His voice is so casual, like everything is totally fine. It is fine. Fine, fine, fine.

“Gotta look good. I’m on the hunt, obviously,” you joke. It isn’t funny to him, but he lets out a laugh.

“You’re hopeless.”

You two stop at a convenience store first, and you all but sprint to the drinks. He had this ritual down to a science. You grab two different color slushies, and he grabs whatever odd snack catches your collective stomachs eye today. Today the two of you decide to split a cookie, and walk to the counter. The cashier gives you a smirk, and he averts his eyes.

“This it?” The boy cocks his head, and you get the memo. You immediately jump on the opportunity.

“Mhm!” You wink, resting your chin in your hands while leaning against the counter. In all honestly, he wasn’t even that cute. At least, that’s what Rui kept telling himself.

“Don’t worry about it, than. I got you guys,” he waves you off. Score! You think, but he adds. “If I can get your number.” Rui feels like falling into the floor, how awkward! You just scribble it onto a stray receipt, winking.

“Thank you! You’re the sweetest!!” You singsong, skipping along with Rui following suite. You immediately burst into laughter, throwing a fake punch at Rui. “What a weirdo! Like I’d call him over what, 1000 yen?! I don’t even know him, yuck!”

So you did have some sense, he feels like letting out a sigh of relief. You hold your hands out.

“Which one do you want? I got your favorite!!” You look so proud, and he wants to laugh. His “favorite” isn’t actually his favorite, but he’d never tell you that.

The lie started one day in middle school, when the two of you suddenly had a weird craving for slushies. When you picked them out, you had gotten a red one and a blue one, and asked him what he wanted. While he really didn’t like red, he knew you liked blue, so he said red. Now for the past four years, you’ve always ended up getting him a red one, thinking it was his favorite. He’ll deal with it for you. Seeing your blue tongue stick out with brain freeze is better than any sugary drink anyway.

“Red, duh.” He scoffs playfully, taking a sip of it. The taste doesn’t really bother him all that much anymore. It reminds him of you.

You always let him divide the snacks, thinking he gives himself the bigger half. He never does, but he eats slower so you think he did. You skip along, enjoying it.

“Y’know, this isn’t bad. Wish they had the brownie, though. That never does us wrong.” God, don’t make him think of the ‘crack brownies’ - as you two call them. Those are great, and he likes them, so you never miss an opportunity to shove them down his throat.

“Don’t complain. Remember the egg roll incident?” He points, laughing at the memory. You two steer clear of that section now, having gotten sick.

“Ugh, I haven’t thought about that in a while! I’m never eating an egg roll again after that day! Ugh,” you gag.

Moments of silly memories like this make him feel like he’s known you forever. He can’t even remember a moment where he hasn’t loved you.

“Where’re we going now, commander?” He salutes, following the trail of sunshine you left behind.

“Where ever the wind blows us, kind sir!” You salute back, pushing him along. Your constant checks of your phone don’t go unnoticed by him, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Who’re you texting? Don’t tell me it’s that guy.” He tries to sound casual, knocking his shoulder against yours playfully.

“‘M not a total idiot, I’ll have you know!” You huff, holding your phone to your chest. “It’s just somebody we went to school with a while back, ‘m seeing if I can pull the moves.”

“Do I know him?”

“Dunno, never saw you two talking, so maybe not. He was in my english class, remember, the only class we didn’t have together?”

“Ah.”

You two walk in silence, except for when he yanks you back from the collar so you don’t walk into oncoming traffic, which amuses you greatly. You two soon arrive at the small mall, and he tails you as you run with excitement. You two browse everything, constantly pointing out cute plushies, or interesting keychains.

“Rui, look! Look!” You shake him, pointing to the back of somebody’s head inconspicuously. “Wait don’t yet- Okay, now! He’s turning around! That’s the guy! What a coincidence we see him here, right? Do you recognize him?”

Ha. Yeah, he knows this guy. He definitely knows him. He’s the one who would trip him during passing periods, he’s the one who left flowers on his desk. They make eye contact, and it’s like all of his growth left his body. He’s just the same freak from middle school, he’s still thirteen.

He shudders at the guys smirk, sensing that he definitely knows that Rui knows him. He jogs over to the two of you, and Rui already knows what’s about to happen, due to the lopsided smile on your face.

Damnit, this is the first time he doesn’t think he can act like it’s okay.

“Oh wow, what a coincidence! Must be fate we run into each other like this, ehe…” You giggle awkwardly, a dumb expression gracing your face. It’s painful seeing you that way for anybody other than him, and he looks away awkwardly.

“Must be.” He answers, swaggering closer towards you. Rui thanks whatever God above because - despite his current situation - at least this asshole didn’t go to highschool with you guys.

He looks down at his shoes, and tries to shuffle away, knowing this jackass is about to say something. He’s quickly stopped.

“Who’s this, huh? Feel like a recognize him from somewhere…” He trails off, smirking through his nose as he turns his attention to him. “Have we met before?”

“This is Kamishiro Rui, he’s my friend! He went to middle school with us, remember?” You happily answer for him.

Ha, friend? What happened to back-up boyfriend? He’s a little hurt, to be honest.

He feels bitter, it’s unbecoming- God, he doesn’t care. He should feel bad for getting so angry over it, it’s not like you belong to him. He’s such a freak, getting attached to you like this.

He starts to pick at his fingers, then he plays with a loose string on his sweater. You two continue to chat like nothings wrong, and he keeps thinking. It’s something he’s gotten good at recently.

He stops feeling bad about himself for a second- a split second where he resents you, and wishes his pain upon you. Wants you to know what it’s like to be so disgustingly, guiltily, revoltingly obsessed with someone. In this split second, he can’t even find it in himself to feel guilty about it, which is unlike him. He wishes you felt love like this, that you were as psychotic about it.

But this doesn’t last long, because he remembers that he loves you more than anything. He’s lucky to be your friend. You’re a great friend, you’re an amazing person, you’re the sun, the sun, the sun.

He’s the pavement, he has to remember.

“I’m- I’ll leave you to it, y’know? Fabric store.” He stutters, choking on his voice. You don’t even notice, waving him off.

You do, however, remember to press his shoulder, uttering an absentminded “Okay, Rui, bye,” and he remembers again how perfect you are for doing it subconsciously. He lets himself feel the touch, long after he’s walked away. He deserves it after the trouble he’s reliving.

When he makes it to the fabric store - which he really didn’t need anything from, Nene had gotten some the other day - he can’t help himself from wishing he could just go home. Malls were always overwhelming already, and now his saving grace has the attention of another man. He walks through aisles, but realizes that he now has to buy something.

‘Least he knows that social cue, he laughs bitterly, running his hands across his face in frustration. He’s so ridiculous.

Meanwhile, you were chatting up a storm. It was your first time talking in person since middle school, after all! You feel giddy for a while, but it cuts abruptly. You feel a strange sense of urgency, something’s missing.

Oh, your best friend.

But where had he gone? You’re sure he was just here. You smile apologetically at the cute boy, putting on your best performance.

“Oh, I better go get my friend now. I don’t like walking home when it’s late. Was nice seein’ you, let’s hang out soon, ‘kay?” You singsong, stepping closer. You want to give yourself a pat on the back, you’re so cute.

He rolls his eyes, and you’re hit with a wave of uneasiness. That noise he made sounds strangely dismissive, he’s not the kind of guy to be a jerk though, you must be hearing things-

“Leave ‘im. Between you and me, he was a total freak in middle school. Probably is now, too. Probably likes you or somethin’, total nutcase.” His voice sounds so casual, like it’s not the douchiest thing you’ve heard all day.

You let other men walk all over you, sure. You let them cheat on you, lie, whatever. But you’re not about to stand here and insult Rui. He’s the only untouched thing in your life - the only person who isn’t cruel. He’s so gangly and awkward, but in the best way. You could live a million times and not be able to deserve him, at least you think so. He’s so unusual, and that’s what you love most about him. Little things like not liking loud lights, or liking the red slushies the best, make your heart buzzy with familiarity. He’s the one constant in your life.

You’ve been awfully worried about him recently, though. His particularly (as you like to call it) has gone to the an extreme, and it’s been a battle getting him to eat real food. You’re not blind, you see the way he’s been spacing out, or tapping a little too much. You just thought he’d been overwhelmed. He worries you to death sometimes, but despite all of his own struggles, he always seems to not care about it, deciding to always be there for you instead. Ah, he’s just such an amazing guy - no, not guy, he’s not anything like those other boys you talk to. He’d never insult someone like that. He’s not just a guy, he’s like your person.

Yeah, he’s definitely your person.

Your heart sputters at the thought, and you feel something you’ve never really felt before - save for hugs between the two of you that lasted just a second too long, or words a little too romantic. The feeling makes your mind fuzzy, and your heart hurt terribly with something you could only place as homesickness.

Oh.

“I,” you begin, backing away. “Yeah, I’m sorry but I’ll really be going now-“

“What? C’mon I was just messing with you, even though having guy friend’s kinda weird.” He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah whatever, I’ll call you back,” you say dismissively.

You’re totally lying, you laugh, you’re not calling him back.

He didn’t seem to like that.

“Damn, can’t even joke around with you people. Whatever, weirdo, sorry I insulted your little boyfriend.” The change in tone amuses you.

Yeah, good riddance, pal.

You turn away, walking through the mall with pace. It takes a while, but you spot him watching a pet stores aquarium.

He’s a funny one.

You wave your hands, trying to get his attention. He swallows, knowing that it’s probably to ask him if it’s cool to walk home by himself. Emotions are stupid, and ironically, you both think that at the same time.

“Rui! Rui! Hey c’mon, let’s go home, yeah?” You smile, face feeling warm. It’s a different feeling from when you usually talk to him. He looks at you, a little shocked. He had assumed you were smiling wide because you set up a date, so he turns his head.

“Where is he, huh?” He looks away, back to the fish tank. You shift in place, was he mad at you? You’re a little irritated at the mention of the guy, though, and huff.

“Don’t worry about that. Seems like I only attract douchebags, so I decided to go.” You explain, poking his shoulder. “Hey,” you start, “let’s just walk home, I wanna talk to you about something.” The idea makes you feel dizzy, but you’ll have to illustrate your feelings one day.

You can leave out the “I think I’m in love with you” part, you think.

The two of you walk in an excruciating silence, staring down at the reflection of the setting sun in the puddles. His heart tightens, remembering his earlier comparison. Even now, you’re so perfect. Even if he’s frustrated with you - despite you turning down the guy in the end (he doesn’t know why, he wanted to ask) - even if he’s ready to scream, and cry, and ask you what it is he did for you to be so turned off by him, he still thinks you’re the most heavenly, divine person to ever grace his view. He wants to be where you see him, he wants to be in your orbit.

“You’re like the sun-“ He blurts out, immediately regretting it. He didn’t mean to say that, God, he’s so fucking stupid. He sees you stop walking, smiling that same stupid, dopey, lopsided smile that he’s always so jealous of-

Oh. It’s for him.

He chokes, stopping to meet you eye-to-eye. You look up at him too, laughing giddily.

“What does that mean?”

He sputters, stepping away. “N-no it’s nothing- It was stupid anyway so-“

“No, tell me!” You urge, laughing a little harder. “What if it was something bad, ‘nd you were making fun of me? That’s not nice, Rui!”

“I- Hey-“ His voice goes a touch higher, a defensive tone rising. “That’s not-“

“Then tell me.”

“It’s just,” he breaths, trying to word it in the least creepy way possible. How does convey the fact that he sees you as a divine presence, that he sees himself as a worthless creature compared to you, without sounding like he’s hopelessly possessed by love for you? “I just- you’re so amazing,” he starts, “I thought of this stupid thing the other day when I was walking home - you know how I am - and well, I just thought of you when the sun reflected off the pavement - since it rained, y’know? - and well, it just- Sorry, it was dumb-“ He rambles, covering his face in anguish.

Nobody’s ever put that much thought into you. Sure, you’ve received a few ‘You’re so gorgeous’’s, where you’ve had to wonder where they learnt such a “big word”, but never something as poetic as that. The usual Rui-ratic explanation endeared you to him even more. You look at him, the smile never leaving. He’s just… so Rui. His stupid striped sweater, his half up hair - that you’d begged him to grow out - his eyes, whatever. Everything about him you treasure, and little do you know he cherished you even that more intensely.

“I think you’re the moon, Rui. Or maybe the earth, since I take care of you, hah!” You snicker, stepping closer to him. He takes a step back in return, and you grab his hands to make him stay put. His heart throbs, and he almost goes crashing down.

“I.. I don’t-“

You yank his hands, making him look back up at you. “Hey, Rui, I,” you look at him assuringly, “I wanna say something, and you can’t laugh okay?”

He holds his breath, so do you.

Fuck it, just tell him.

“I think I’m in love with you, Rui.” You gaze at him, the words shooting out faster than you can second guess them.

“I don’t-“ He breaks away, his fists balling up. You messed up, you think, you really, really messed up. “I’m not- I’m not going to- You can’t just say that because you got rejected. I- It wouldn’t be nice to- You don’t love me-“

“Rui,” you beg, grabbing his arm again, “holding hands on the way to school, cuddling while doing homework, knowing everything about eachother, these aren’t-“ You breath, “I’ve wanted somebody to love me for so long, Rui, and I was so blind to the fact that I was loved. But the love that I felt for you, - that I feel for you - Rui, isn’t the kind where I can be- where I can just be so- so normal about those things!” You monologue, saying whatever’s on your mind. You’re the rambling one now.

“I found myself comparing you to these piece-of-garbage dude’s I’m always with, wishing I could just date somebody like you instead! But now I realize that it is you-“

His heart falls into his gut, and he breaks free from you again. His hands move to his face, covering his eyes. His voice is broken and cracky as he begins to cry. “That was- you-“ He pulls you into a desperate embrace, arms holding you like you’ll disappear. “You shouldn’t, you’re wrong.” He sobs, “I’m- the way I love you is- You don’t understand, the way I feel isn’t normal I- My love is disgusting, and horrible, and depraved-“ He shakes, you rub his back. “You are so perfect compared to me, I’d never be able to- I love you so much, more than friends are supposed to, more than anyone’s supposed to at our age-“

“Rui, hey Rui please don’t cry.” You beg, smoothing out the ridges in his sweater. “I don’t- I don’t agree with that, and I can scream that at you, but I’m sure you won’t believe me. You’re not disgusting for feeling emotions different, Rui that’s what I love about you.”

“Stop- stop saying my name like that. It’s too hard to-“

“Rui, I love you. You don’t need to accept it, but I love you. More than being in love, more than being loved-“

“I love you, too,” his voice cracks, “that’s why I’m so scared. I don’t want to ruin a friendship that’s all I have, if this is just- I’m scared I’d lose you in any way, and I can’t live in a world where you don’t see me. I won’t. It’s sounds horrible but-“ He stops as you pull away from the hug, and wipes his face hastily. You put your pinky out, and his stomach drops again.

“C’mon, just like when we were kids. Pinky promise that no matter what, we’ll always see each other. That way you don’t need to worry anymore, y’know? I never break my kissy pinky promises, ever.”

Just like when you two were little.

He locks his with yours, just like you taught him all those years ago. He remembers your shared handshake for theater, he remembers your shared handshake for testing, and he remembers the song you two had to duet for choir - when you have forced him into it for a year. He holds everything of you so dear to his heart, you endear everything about him to you as well.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I see you.”

“I see you, too.”

You two kiss your hands, then bring them down, still interlinked. You stare at him, and he stares back at you. In a moment of profound sincerity, you lean forward, and kiss him. It’s slow and gentle, and you unlock your hands half way through to hold his face, which he mirrors. His heart settles for the first time. You see him. He’s your moon, your earth, you’re his sun, his stars.

He’s suddenly alarmed by a quick pushing off of him, gasping out a “Rui!”

“I-“ he pants, wiping his mouth. “Hm?”

“we’re in the middle of a park!”

[gay-dorito-dust]

HEYYYY

Soo I'm here to rq another Damian x reader(platonic). But real quick, I'm sorry if I'm requesting too much or being a nuisance. Pls lmk if I am so I can stop! It's just hard to find somebody that writes for him like dis.

Anyways, basically the same thing were theyre friends but this time it's a diff scenario. So Damian n reader are obvi friends but theyre also complete oposites. Like Damian is intelegent, focused and meanwhile has reader is a bit dumber, daydreams too much, and kinder. They also get walked over a lot.

So he invites reader over to the manor and she meets his brothers n dad. It's all fine n dandy but they can't help but notice how diff they are.

Bonus points if reader talks positively abt him to his brothers and they're all like "fym he's nice?" And readers all like "fym he isnt?" (They're just not used to being treated like a normal human being) ‼️

Honestly I love writing for platonic! Damian. So pls don’t apologise for anything bc I’m having so much fun rn. 🦦plus I don’t know if this will read well as I’ve written this late at night when o should probably be in bed.

‘Am I seeing things or has Damian finally made a friend.’ Dick whispered to Jason, his eyes unable to tear his eyes away from you and Damian followed Bruce through the manor.

‘Nope, I’m definitely seeing it too.’ Jason replied also looking at you and Damian as if he was looking at the human personifications of night and day.

‘The fact that the demon spawn managed to get a friend sure is…something.’ Tim piped up, having overheard his brothers conversation from standing in between them. ‘I can only hope he didn’t kidnap the poor soul.’ Dick added as he was quick to click onto how Damian kept a hand on your arm, tugging and pulling you along when you stop to stare at a painting in awe for a little too long, gently encouraging you to keep up with him and Bruce by promising to go back to the painting later. Jason then looked over at Tim, ‘any ideas on who they are?’ Tim shrugged. ‘Only the fact that they go to the same school as Damian, share the same art classes and is known for being a little bit of a daydreaming pushover, but despite all that they’re still a kind person.’

Dick smiled sympathetically as his heart ached for you. It wasn’t easy being nice in a city like Gotham, if anything nice ever wandered into the accursed city it seemed as though Gotham itself would stop at nothing to see it destroyed, decimated and become as miserable and as bleak as the city itself; So it was rare to find someone who genuinely could still bring it in themselves to smile whilst in a city like this. And for that Dick had to give you props for being brave enough -and strong enough- to be kind in a place that would gladly take pleasure in stepping over and on you at any inconvenience. For it was truly a sign of bravery at its finest.

‘That kid is sure brave.’ Jason signed, knowing that people like you don’t last in Gotham but it was people like you that Gotham needed the most, but how could a retched place like Gotham heal when it’s always been a rotten city since it’s very conception? He didn’t believe it could be possible but there were always solutions to fighting the problem that seemed impossible to overcome. So who cares if you weren’t the brightest bulb at school? The education system in Gotham was shit anyway the last time he checked and he doubted much had changed when he…well you know…

Tim was silent. He was too busy recognising the protective measures that Damian was taking specifically for you; mainly the hand tugging at your arm anytime he thought you were getting distracted or wandering off elsewhere and muttering about how you need to keep or you’ll get left behind, despite the fact that even if you did Damian would allow himself to fall behind just so that he could walk besides you. While he might be part of the majority that didn’t think he’s ever see the day that Damian brought a friend home, never less a friend who was the total opposite of him. He couldn’t help but feel a sort of relief that Damian finally found a friend, and he knew that both Jason and Dick felt similarly from the looks upon their faces, silently observing how you interact with one another.

The one thing that Tim was confident in was the fact that Damian needed you as much as you needed Damian because you were a beacon of opportunity for his younger brother in many ways that Tim was certain you weren’t made aware of just yet. So while he and his brothers may tease and take this piss about how different you were from Damian, they mean well and express their happiness the only way they knew best; teasing and taking the piss.

‘This library is beautiful Mr Wayne! Do you have any fantasy books?’ You could be heard asking down the hallway, followed by the sound of Bruce softly laughing as he showed you the grand library. ‘This library has any book you can think of and please call me Bruce, it’s not often that Damian brings anyone home for the weekend.’ He says as you looked the Damian confused and a little betrayed. ‘You’ve got friends other than me?’

Damian groaned. ‘No. I don’t, you’re the only friend I’m willing myself to have.’

You smiled and gripped his hand. ‘Aww Dami! That’s so sweet of you to say, despite how brash and blunt you may come across, I’m glad to say that you’re the only friend I’m willing to have too!’ You said without shame. ‘Everyone else isn’t a nice as you are.’ You trailed off while a rare solemn look appeared upon your face as Damian was quick to squeeze your hand reassuringly, Bruce smiled sympathetically. ‘I’m not smart like your son mr Wayne, I can’t help it if things don’t come to me as easy as they do others but I try! I try really heard to do my best at every test but…but people tend to laugh of me because to them I’m either slow or thick.’ Damian’s jaw clenched and his brows furrowed upon being remembered of what people tended to call you.

He hated it and whenever he saw it happen, he was quick to utter some threatening words before taking his usual position as your pseudo-bodyguard for the rest of the school day. At first he wasn’t bothered but when you became restless in your pursuit of being his friend, he remembered vividly how people were mocking and making fun of you for trying to be his friend, that he often regrets not accepting your friendship sooner if it meant being able to be there when it counts.

‘When will you get it that Damian doesn’t want to be friends with someone like you.’ One person said.

‘Then I’ll just have to keep trying.’ You rebutted, still smiling somehow.

Another person scoffs. ‘Get fucking real. You’re a weirdo, no one wants to be friends with a weirdo who so fucking slow at everything.’

You merely shrugged, even when someone’s insulting you, your brain doesn’t recognises it as such. ‘I’m sure he won’t mind.’

‘God you’re so fucking useless that I’m surprised that anyone bothers with you. Let me say this in a way you won’t have to try so hard to understand dipshit. Damian. Will. Never. Be. Friends. With. Someone. Like. You. Ever.’ A third slowly spoke and Damian had heard enough and within a blink of an eye had laid them out flat. You blinked before looking at Damian with a bright smile. ‘Hi Damian! Did you hurt these guys, that’s not very nice.’

‘They insulted you and yet you defend their honour.’ Damian asked incredulously as you both walked down the hallway, leaving the three bullies to groan from their injuries. You shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t say that.’

‘They were insulting you.’ Damian reiterated. ‘They insulted your intelligence and your abilities. People like them often hide bigger insecurities than others.’ Damian replied, finding your ability to keep smiling after such things both annoying as it was admirable.

‘Are we friends now?’ You asked innocently enough and Damian knew he had sealed his fate, and so he sighs and looks up to the ceiling. ‘Yes, we’re…friends.’ He mutters and doesn’t do anything to stop you from dragging him to art class.

‘I was alone before Damian.’ You admitted as you looked at Bruce with a smile as you squeezed Damian’s hand in kind. ‘But now he’s here and he’s my bestest friend ever!’ Damian honestly wishes that you respect yourself more because you could claim that he saved you multiple times, but you’d never acknowledge the times where you have saved him by being unequivocally kind, sweet and over all a better person then all of Gotham’s civilians combined. ‘I was finding my first week at school horrid before I befriended l/n.’ Damian admitted as you softly cooed. The boy then swallows thickly. ‘Their friendship is much appreciated.’

‘Aww! Dami!’ You cried as you crashed into him, causing you both to hit the floor in a heap of limbs.

While Damian was cursing mom lethal threats and you were laughing, Bruce had already made his mind up about you and was certain to make sure to have Damian invite you over as much as possible. It was obvious for him to see that you and Damian were good for each other despite your vast and glaring differences, however that’s what worked in your favour, the power to have over come all odds was incredible; not to mention the fact that your friendship with Damian had lasted as long as it has was another impressive feet on top of that. Bruce knows it’s been hard for Damian to fit in and find a friend, but he couldn’t have made a better friend than he did in the likes of you.

You were more than defiantly welcomed back to the manor if Bruce had anything to say about it.

‘Get off of me!’ Damian shouts.

‘Damian, I think my foot is stuck with yours.’ You reply, scared.

‘That’s your own foot- how did you manage to tangle yourself up in yourself? You landed onto of me?’ Damian asked incredulously.

‘Sorry.’ You apologised.

‘Don’t be.’ Damian said.

Bruce smiled one last time before leaving you both alone in the library to untangle yourselves, only to be greeted by Tim, Dick and Jason. ‘Can I help you three?’ Bruce raised an eyebrow at the boys.

‘Nope.’ Dick started.

‘Not really, just…seeing how the little scamps are dealing.’ Jason followed after.

‘Damian? Nice? The same Damian who tried to, oh I don’t know…KILL ME?!’ Tim asked, revealing to Bruce all he needed to know, their breathing behind the library door was telling that they were clearly eavesdropping on the three of you. Jason and Dick looked at him displeased as Tim looked back at them. ‘I’m not the only one of us who thought that.’ He defended himself. ‘I mean it’s nice that he’s looking out for y/n but still that’s not something someone casually forgets.’

Bruce merely leaves Tim, Dick and Jason to their own quarrel, he loves his boys he truly does, but sometimes they’re more trouble than what they’re worth. He can only hope that they don’t scare you off from coming back for good because he was already planning your next visit.

[lynzishell]

My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 30 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024🎉 (because rules were made to be broken)

TYSM for tagging me @herecirmsims, @elderwisp, and @changingplumbob 💖 As per usual, I went overboard... oops!

Before I forget -- I am going to tag @honeyjars-sims, @raiiny-bay, @havenroyals, @likelyamused, and @dandylion240 (ofc, feel free to ignore me if you've already done it, or if you just don't wanna)

JANUARY

We started the year in Sulani where Phoenix and Dawn got engaged! Let us all take a moment to remember the glory that was Phoenix with a tan 😍

I call this - My Love Affair with Brindleton Bay (Part 1)

I love them. This isn't even the greatest screenshot, but it will forever be one of my favorites. One day I will put together a collage of forehead kisses for these two.

FEBRUARY

My Love Affair with Brindleton Bay (Part 2)

Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi were always happy to steal focus when I needed to blur things happening in the background... 😏

Atlas forever being the best uncle in the world... and fascinated with his niece having his eyes

MARCH

Me peeking through the foliage while Phoenix introduces his wife and child to his mom... the only way he knows how 🥺🤍

APRIL

😂 Ok so March and April are pretty sparse... I took a break in the Spring because I was going through a breakup and a move. I spent that time focusing on things that made me happy - like writing The Past arc for the boys and laughing at Dawn's ridiculous in-game expressions 😂

MAY

I'm so glad I took that break because I was able to come back and give Phoenix and Dawn the wedding they deserved! I also LOVE these last two shots... After the party ended, those three were goofing off and having so much fun... and then giving Phoenix the MOST thoughtful gift... it still makes me tear up! 🥹

JUNE

And so it begins... This nightmare sequence was so much fun to put together! And this shot is by far my favorite... it was totally by accident, but oh so perfect

The Past my beloved... I love this shot sm... the morning light, the fall colors, Ash and Lex being Ash and Lex while Atlas tags along behind them (he'd only known Ash for 24 hours and was already crushing... poor boy didn't stand a chance)

Oh yeah! Remember Chestnut Ridge?! The way I jumped around in this part istg... You're all incredible for putting up with me this summer 😂 Okay but I love this one because of how all the animals are turned to look at Danny... again, a total accident, but perfectly foreshadows what I have in mind for his future!

Back the The Past - What's perfect about this one is how the only thing in focus is where they are touching.

I’m acutely aware that his leg is resting against me now, and he’s rolling the fabric of my sleeve between his thumb and middle finger. Normally, I would have already scooted away from the sofa. Pivoted my body so the conversation could continue, but so that I could not be touched. But I don’t feel any need to do that. Not with him. His affection is so subtle and absent-minded; I can tell he’s just feeling comfortable with me. Something about that makes me feel comfortable with him too.

JULY

AHHHHHH!!! I still lose my mind over this moment!!! Like... the way physical touch plays such a big role throughout this arc, and getting to see Atlas evolve from someone who always kept his distance from people to being the affectionate teddy bear he is today... and the way Ash is so sweet and mindful and considerate through it all...

And then I look down, down to where I feel his hand come to rest on my leg, the heat of it warming my thigh. “Is that okay?” He asks, “Do you want me to move my hand?” I look up into his eyes and shake my head slightly, “No. No, it’s okay.”

THEIR FIRST KISS!!!!! The tippy toes pls!!! 😭 I'm not gonna lie.... I forgot the entire purpose of this post and am now lost to reminiscing... I already miss this arc so much!!!

Taking my time, I brush my lips lightly against his before kissing him softly. Holding myself back, not because I’m unsure, but because I’ve never been more certain of anything. I want to savor this moment, commit it to memory so I can revisit it tomorrow, and every day after.

A brief look into The Present as these two make plans for the future that I will inevitably ruin for them because I felt compelled to go into CAS and play around with genetics and rewrite the entire ending to this arc. Sorry not sorry boys!

aaaand back to The Past for our first peek at Ash's POV as he realizes he may be falling for Atlas

Y’know, my biggest fear is drowning, especially in the ocean, and yet, my favorite place is the beach near my parents’ house, sitting right at the water’s edge. Being with Atlas, it reminds me of this place. The bright blue of his eyes, the sandy color of his hair, and the dusting of freckles across his nose. And the way being near him makes me feel just a little nervous, like at any moment I could get swept away and lose myself completely.

AUGUST

Oh yeah! Chestnut Ridge and Joey's cliche dad-logic moment! Seriously guys... thank you for putting up with my nonsense... But OMG! Did you know you can set the horses to buck riders off every time they try to get on? 10/10 recommend if you need a laugh! I had so much fun with this scene... Phoenix, on the other hand, did not 🫣

This one. You have no idea. I struggled SO MUCH with trying to figure this scene out... and only those in our discord writing group will know how I lost my mind when these poses were released and gave me the inspiration I needed... I'm pretty sure I shot this scene a month before I even started this arc because I couldn't get it out of my head... I should also add that these two died in process of making it, and I fucked up this lot while trying to place all the lights and decos via TOOL and had to start all over in another save (which worked out because the Romance Festival spawned in the new one making it all so much better and more lively)... I went through a lot for this shot, and I will hold it near and dear to my heart forever as a result.

SEPTEMBER

Just them. Holding hands. In The Present. 🥹 I just like this one a lot... it's actually the desktop background on my PC lol

A hazy dream in neon pink

Don't worry... they're JUST FRIENDS (who are clearly in love with each other and on mdma and suddenly can't keep their hands off each other)

As he backs himself against the wall, pulling me into him, I finally understand. “Is this okay?” he asks. I lean in so fast that I practically breathe the answer into his mouth, “Yeah,” and before I know it, we’re making out again. But this time is far more intense, our kisses deeper, our breathing ragged, our hands grabbing fistfuls of hair and clothing and clawing at skin as though our desire for each other has grown into some kind of wild animal. Finally free from its cage, there’s no going back now.

💛🩵💛🩵 What am I doing again? I think I've lost the plot...

OCTOBER

Oh yeah... fave screenshots of 2024! We're so back! San Myshuno my beloved

The Proposal 😭 Spoiler alert... they were never "just friends" ajsdkakljs Also, I had to exit and go back in game three times to keep those bright red/orange skies for this scene... worth it!

NOVEMBER

A glimpse of The Future... and bb is confused af

DECEMBER

Things are different now in ways they don't quite understand, but they have each other 🥹🩵💛

For the rest of our lives, we're in this together.

[taesanluv3r]

when your eyes meet mine

lee riwoo x reader

requested by this anon 💭 idol!riwoo x fan!reader <3 this is the most delulu fanfic ever LMAO lowercase intended, pls excuse any spelling mistakes/grammatical errors. enjoyy :3

wc: 1,970

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

ring ring ring!

yn ln groans, an arm reaching out from under her covers to grab her phone that sat over on her bedside table. she winces when she's greeted by the bright light, moving her fingers to swipe at the screen, lowering the brightness and shutting off her morning alarm in record speed.

it's 7 am.

on any regular day, the girl wouldn't even dream of getting up this early- in fact, to her, anyone who gets up before 9 after completing highschool must be a total loser! or...maybe...someone who's got their life together...but that's besides the point. the point is that today was very different from any other day. today was the day! the day yn ln was going to meet the six silly boys she dreamed of every night as she went to bed and thought of every second she stood awake. maybe she loved them so much, or maybe it was because she had taken it upon herself to decorate the walls of her room with the large posters of them she had gotten from the one too many albums she spent all her paychecks on. nonetheless, at least to her, this was a big day- a huge day, even. i mean it's finally happening, a smile on her sleepy face as she's met with the countdown notification.

'yn x boynextdoor! D-DAY!'

it all started about two weeks ago. the girl was going through what had to be the worst few days of her whole entire life. she was laid off at work for two days straight, her salad wasn't crunchy at lunch, she totally forgot to hang her laundry out to dry, and on top of that she got a coffee stain on her brand new white shirt. it was bad, terrible even! all she could do was give up for a moment, calling in sick at work and laying in bed all day just re-watching 'what?door!' for the hundredth time, munching on a tub of neapolitan ice cream and giggling over whatever dad joke her bias, riwoo, said. things were starting to feel alright again. the same way it always did when she was watching those six boys on the screen laugh and yell at each other over silly games. oh how she'd give anything to meet them...

just as the thought crossed her mind, a gift from whoever watched her from above fell into the palm of her hands- well, not literally, but you get what i mean. yn furrowed her eyebrows as a text from her best-friend in the whole world appeared on her phone.

bestie<3

YYNNNNNN!!! big news!!!!!!! yk how i won that ticket for the bnd fansign in two weeks?

the girl rolls her eyes, of course she knew, that's all her friend could boast about for the past few weeks! you see, this fellow onedoor that was texting her, she's one of those fans that seemed to always have their way with luck and winning fan-signs.

mhm, i'm aware...what abt it tho?

yn awaits a response, moving her finger over to the trackpad on her laptop to pause the video that was playing in the background.

bestie<3

well...what if i told u i hv to be somewhere tht day n i need someone (you) to fill in my spot at the fansign? hehe :D

and that's it. that's exactly the sequence of events that lead the chronic fangirl to this moment right now. at seven o' clock in the morning, getting up to prepare herself for the six boys that await her later that day.

"oh fuck...what do i even wear?!"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

as it turns out, time moves a lot faster when you're anxious and excited. in record time, yn ln had found herself in a space full of fans just like her. the girl's heart beat out of her chest, body shaken and tears threatening to fall out of her eyes as she stood in the crowd. after contemplating her outfit choices for hours that morning, the girl decided to wear a nice pair of baggy cargo-pants and the baby blue jersey from the boy group's collaboration with the brand sandsound. she had her hair and make-up the way it normally was, the way she knew would look good. her hands wrap softly around her diy picket, a pretty heart-shaped one with none other that lee riwoo's face on the center of it- his face once again seen hanging on a pretty photocard holder on the strap of her bag. she was nervous, a sort of adrenaline rush coursing through her body when the people around her began to cheer, the silhouette of the six boys she loved so much emerging to the front of them.

"who's there? the boynextdoor! hello, we are boynextdoor"

the boys began their introductions, warming up to the crowd for about half an hour before they were supposed to start the fan-signing event. yn couldn't believe her eyes, she can't believe these people were real! she didn't want to be biased, but she truly could not focus on anyone else anymore, her gaze lingering over to the one boy who had her heart wrapped around his finger- he didn't even know it. lee riwoo looked even more handsome in real life, his aura screaming charisma as he spoke sweetly into his microphone. his hair a shade of brown that was almost ginger, a distinct mole below his eye that moved up a bit whenever he smiled, his smile that allowed for his little fangs to peak through. it sent the girl's heart flying! even more so, when his eyes turned a bit to meet with her own. maybe she was hallucinating in the moment, he could be staring at anyone! but she swore that for a second his gaze stuck onto her, a warm and fuzzy feeling engulfing the whole of her shaken body and a blush creeping onto her cheeks.

"okay, everyone joining the fan-signing event! please make a line over here in accordance to your given queue number. thank you" the staff called out through a microphone, waving his arm around to direct everyone over to one side of the venue. the members of the boy-group began to take their seats over on the long black table, another set of staff members preparing the albums, markers and post-it notes for the event.

once again, yn couldn't breathe. it felt as though all her dreams were finally becoming a reality. she didn't know what to do now, a sudden panic taking control of her brain as she stood in her spot in the line. 'what do i even say to them...?' - 'oh god i didn't think this far' - 'what if my mind completely goes blank?' - 'oh riwoo looks so good today' - 'what if throw up? or...or what if i...'

"NEXT!" the staff called out, gently tapping the girl on her back and signaling for her to move forward for her turn. 'oh i'm so fucked...'

honestly, it didn't go as badly as she thought it would. first on the table was jaehyun. he was so sweet, reassuring her that it was okay to be nervous and thanking her for her kind words. next was leehan who shot her his signature smile, giggling sheepishly at the compliments and praises the girl nervously told him. sungho and woonhak followed, listening intently to her every word as she slowly vocalized them. only two more members left! great! it wasn't so bad after all! or at least it wasn't so bad until she was face-to-face with the love of her whole life himself.

lee sanghyeok.

"hi....um...yn! yn, right?" the pretty boy said, searching for her name on the sticky note that was stuck onto the album. "uh- yeah...um...hi!...uh oh my god- sorry, i'm so..." she couldn't seem to speak, her whole mind going blank and malfunctioning as the boy in front of her smiled softly. "nervous?" he asked, a slight giggle escaping his lips as he did so. yn nods, "i'm sorry, you're just so handsome! and really cool and talented and i really love your dancing and your voice and even your dad jokes- even when they're not that funny sometimes and i really like your hair and uh- sorry, sorry i should stop now" the girl yapped on and on, suddenly going from not being able to speak to only speaking way too much. unbeknownst to her however, riwoo didn't find it annoying at all- in fact, it sparked some sort of a flame in the pit of his stomach. maybe it was the way she smiled at him, maybe it was the way she complimented him, maybe it was the way her hands shook as she spoke to him the way he noticed it didn't really for the other members. whatever it was, something about her peaked his interest.

"can...i...hold...your...hand...?" her question shakes him out of his thoughts. it appears the idol boy had zoned out, completely distracted by this girl in front of him. "huh? oh! uh...i-" he stutters, a sudden shyness taking over his complexion. the girl mentally slaps herself, "oh, i'm sorry...i you don't have to if you don't want to i mean it's obviously your choice i'm just- oh!" she stops talking when his hands slip over to grab her own, the feeling is warm, an electrifying sensation she's never felt before. and neither has he, the world around them going in slow-motion for a second as they paused into the moment. no words were exchanged, but the way their eyes pierced into one another's was enough to make sense of the situation.

"move along, please" the staff that stood behind the boys interrupted the moment, tilting his head to side as if to tell yn to hurry up. riwoo's eyes soften and he looks at her with some sort of look that read of disappointment, she furrows her eyebrows when he let's go of her hand to quickly jot something down on the page of the album that laid opened in front of him. "it was nice to meet you, yn" the boy said, a smile on his face. she returned the gesture, "nice to meet you too, riwoo- i love you!" she said finally, in a rush as the staff guided her over to the final member.

"hi!" she says, grinning from ear to ear as she sat down in front of taesan. they share sweet conversation, the boy thanking her for all her compliments. he looks down at the opened page for a moment and laughs, though she doesn't really know why, shooting him a perplexed expression. he shakes his head, looking up at her after signing her album. "looks like riwoo hyung has a crush on you or something..." the girl's eyes go wide, "what?!" is all she manages to muster out before the staff move to rush her out of the line. the last sight she saw was a cheeky smirk from han taesan and a lingering stare from the brown-haired riwoo beside him who waved.

the statement ran through her head for the next hour as she waits to retrieve the signed album from the pick-up booth. 'what could that menace possibly mean?' - 'he could be lying...right?' - 'he's probably just teasing me'

all her queries however were to be answered as she got the signed album in her hands, hastily flipping through the pages to find the message she didn't even know she was looking for. and there it was, right by a picture of his face in the photo-book, signed by the boy of her dreams himself...

'yn, it was nice to meet you :)...let's meet again some time? text me? (xxx-xxx-xxxx) love, riwoo'

huh...maybe he does have a crush on her or something...

the end.

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ahhh idk how i feel abt this fic 😭😭 but i hope u guys enjoyed it nonetheless :3 tysm again to the anon tht sent this request!! feel free to send some more over in my asks<3 reblogs n feedback r greatly appreciated, tysm for reading! love, kona.

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 23 ⤍ left 4 dead

​​you switched the screen from the "starting soon" animation to your face cam, flashing a quick smile before going  into your introduction.

"i honestly have no idea what i'm doing today," you confessed to the stream, leaning back in your chair. "so it would be really great if one of my friends watching could hop on and play games with me." 

almost instantly, a message popped up in chat.

jenaissante am i one of your friends 👉🏼👈🏼

"i would assume so. would you like to play games with me, yunjin?"

jenaissante yes pls jenaissante i'm getting food rn jenaissante inv me though

you only saw the first message and didn't invite her, instead scrolling through the chat, searching for someone else.

_chaechae_1 can i play?

"yeah, of course, chaewon," you replied casually.

jenaissante how dare u say yes to chaewon when i asked u first

you squinted at the screen, confused. "wait, did you say something? i didn't see it."

jenaissante fake —permanently banned

your eyes widened. "wait, shit! i didn't mean to ban you, i was trying to check the logs!" you broke into a laugh as you quickly unbanned her.

jenaissante just say u don't fk with me

"i swear i didn't see it! you said you were getting food, then 'invite me' a second later. how was i supposed to know?"

jenaissante can't believe you hate me

"just get your food and join us," you said.

jenaissante okay

you hopped on a call with chaewon, brainstorming what games to play. the two of you tossed out random suggestions, but each idea was quickly shot down due to the number of players needed or a lack of interest in the game. finally, yunjin joined the call—still eating, so not much help in the decision-making process.

"let's play left 4 dead 2," you suggested, scrolling through your steam library.

"isn't that for four players?" chaewon asked.

"yeah, but how hard can it be to find one more?" you shrugged. with everyone in agreement, you immediately started looking for a fourth.

"i've got a fourth!" you announced.

"who?" yunjin asked, curious.

"just a girl i know," you said cryptically.

"what girl?" yunjin pressed.

"you'll find out when she gets here"

"wait... is it kazuha?" chaewon guessed.

"uh, no, she's busy today," you replied.

"oh, right," chaewon nodded in understanding.

suddenly, yujin joined the call with a loud ping, interrupting the conversation.

"oh, it's just yujin," chaewon said casually.

"just yujin?" yujin echoed, clearly offended.

"not like that!" chaewon chuckled. "y/n was talking about you like you were some random girl we'd never met."

"i literally said she's a girl i know, which isn't a lie," you defended.

you booted up the game and invited chaewon, yunjin, and yujin to your lobby. everyone picked their characters as you fiddled with the settings.

"what difficulty should i pick?" you asked the group.

"maybe advanced?" yujin suggested.

"or, you know, maybe normal?" chaewon said, her voice laced with caution.

"we can handle expert. we've got this," yunjin declared confidently.

"can we, though?" you asked, skeptical.

"of course! we're pro gamers," yunjin insisted.

"you know what? you're right. expert it is," yujin agreed, backing her up.

"i don't agree with this at all, but sure," chaewon muttered.

sighing, you set the difficulty to expert, not trusting yunjin or yujin at all but just wanting to see what happens.

user2 we'll see how long that lasts user3 "they're not even lasting a minute" is winning the polls by a landside rn user4 betting all my points on them losing rn

the game loaded in, and as usual, you all messed with the controls to get comfortable. scanning the ground, you grabbed a weapon and glanced at everyone else's characters.

"wait... why is chaewon's character kinda hot?" you remarked suddenly.

"huhhhh?" yunjin blurted, totally caught off guard.

"y/n, you can't just say stuff like that," yujin laughed, trying to hold it in.

"i'm serious!" you continued. "her character just backed it up on me. y'all need to see this from my point of view."

as the first wave of zombies swarmed in, everything fell apart in record time. chaewon screamed as she died almost immediately, yujin calmly took out a few zombies, while yunjin panicked because of chaewon's freakout—only to die herself. you were just trying to help, but it was too late. you all died in less than a minute.

you quickly went to adjust the difficulty. "normal or advanced?" you asked, trying not to laugh.

"we died so fast!" yunjin laughed, still in disbelief.

"we can handle advanced," yujin suggested.

"no, we cannot," chaewon said, her voice sounding genuinely scared.

you set the difficulty to normal for the sake of chaewon, who seemed like she was actually traumatized from the previous events.

"no, we cannot," chaewon said, her voice sounding genuinely scared.

"everyone on the roller coaster," yunjin instructed, already making her way up the tracks.

you followed, but when yunjin turned around, she noticed chaewon still struggling at the bottom. "she's down there alone. she's not gonna make it."

"i am!" chaewon yelled, her voice laced with panic as she fought off the swarm of zombies below, while the rest of you were already perched at the top of the roller coaster tracks, watching her struggle.

"you gotta get up here!" yujin called out, her tone urgent.

"i'm trying!" chaewon replied, breathless.

"she's actually not gonna make it," you observed dryly.

before long, zombies started appearing at the top of the tracks, forcing all of you to engage in a fight. yujin was downed causing yunjin to freak out and looked to see chaewon stuck below, trying to fend off zombies and ultimately getting downed herself.

without hesitation, yunjin leapt down to save her. "i'll save you, chaewon!" she shouted, helping her back to her feet.

as soon as chaewon was revived, she announced, "i have a defibrillator! i can save yujin!"

meanwhile, yunjin called out, "i'm about to die!" as she sprinted up the roller coaster tracks.

"please don't," you muttered as you yourself were downed.

"y/n!" yunjin screamed from the other side of the tracks, panic evident in her voice.

yunjin and chaewon fought desperately to fend off the incoming horde, trying to revive at least one of you. but in the end, yunjin got downed too, leaving only chaewon to fight.

"teamwork did not make the dream work, yikes," you commented, leaning back in your chair.

"that's toxic, y/n," yunjin groaned.

"i'm coming back!" yunjin exclaimed as chaewon managed to help her back up.

"please don't," you deadpanned.

they finally revived yujin, but the zombie horde was relentless. despite your best efforts, it wasn't enough, and you were all taken down by the overwhelming hoard. the level had to be restarted, but at least you managed to beat it on the second try.

now that you all were in a safe room, the group decided it was time for a quick break before the next round. you took this time to turn your attention to chat, seeing a chat from kazuha causing you to smile at it.

k_a_z_u_h_a__ ain't no way ur playing with my roommates & not me rn

"are you jealous?" you asked in a teasing tone.

k_a_z_u_h_a__ and if i was?

"i would have invited you, but you were busy," you replied with a grin.

k_a_z_u_h_a__ :( k_a_z_u_h_a__ still messed up

user2 should we leave 🤨

"i'll play games with you next time then."

k_a_z_u_h_a__ :) k_a_z_u_h_a__ that works k_a_z_u_h_a__ gotta film now... k_a_z_u_h_a__ i'll miss u

"bye, kazuha. go do your job," you said, waving at the camera with a smile.

once kazuha logged off, you responded to a few more questions about the game and joked with your chat before the break ended. then it was time to lock back in for the next round.

"chaewon, behind you!" yunjin shouted, swinging a baseball bat wildly at the zombie chasing after chaewon's character. "this thing's so fast!"

chaewon let out a scream once she finally noticed, firing her gun with her eyes squeezed shut. somehow, she managed to kill the zombie.

"i got it, chae!" yunjin said triumphantly, smacking the now-dead zombie one last time for good measure.

"oh wow, thanks a lot," chaewon replied sarcastically. "really saved my life there."

before yunjin could respond, a spitter grabbed her character. "wait, huh? chae, help!" she called out, struggling.

chaewon just burst out laughing, watching yunjin's character get dragged away.

"why are you laughing? help me!" yunjin begged, "my character's gonna die! do something!"

chaewon kept laughing, only stepping in after yunjin's health hit was completely down.

"i was actually dying, and you just stood there laughing like a maniac," yunjin grumbled. "even after i saved you."

"oh, that was funny," chaewon said, still catching her breath.

a little later, yujin came up to you, wielding a chainsaw as you took down the last zombie in sight only for yujin to swing the chainsaw at you.

"what the fuck!" you yelped.

"oh, sorry! thought you were a zombie," yujin said with fake innocence.

"no, you didn't. don't lie to me," you laughed.

"i'm serious, i couldn't tell the difference!" yujin insisted.

"yeah, sure," you replied, shaking your head.

eventually, you all reached the safe room, the mid-level stats appeared on screen, detailing the damage each of you had dealt. once your characters were back in view, everyone reloaded their weapons, patched up any wounds, and stocked up on ammo and supplies, prepping for the next onslaught.

"alright, last level. let's go," yunjin said with determination prompting you to open the door.

"yippee! last level!" chaewon cheered, her voice full of excitement.

"we're professionals now," yunjin boasted confidently, with chaewon echoing, "professional gamers!"

"seasoned at this point," yunjin added.

the mood was light as you ventured out, shooting the few zombies that outside near the safe room. things were manageable until chaewon's panicked scream rang out.

"behind us! oh god, they're behind us!"

user5 instant chaos 😭

you whipped around, guns blazing as yujin tossed a boomer bile into the horde, and you got out of there following behind chaewon who was now heading up some bleachers. as you were a prompt came up to start the stage lighting.

"do i start this?" yunjin asked, eyeing a prompt to activate the stage lights. before anyone could answer, she hit it.

"oh—we have to survive here," yujin noted, already scanning for a place to take cover.

"there's some medkits up here!" chaewon called out.

the notification flashed across the screen: rescue is coming! defend yourselves.

"alright! where are we holding out?" yunjin asked.

"under the main stage," yujin suggested, and both you and chaewon agreed.

with that, the fight began. molotovs flew, bullets sprayed, and zombies kept pouring in, all while the stage lights burst like fireworks overhead.

"yujin, behind you!" yunjin yelled, saving her from a sneak attack.

"thank you," yujin replied, barely catching her breath.

"i got the right side!" chaewon called out, steady in her role.

"i got all the sides... except for the ones i don't," yunjin quipped.

"we're literally destroying them," yujin remarked confidently. "this is easy."

"too easy," yunjin agreed.

just as the lights flickered out and the zombies seemed to stop coming, you were about to relax.

"that's... it?" you muttered.

"i knew we would end them," yujin said proudly.

you were about to reply when chaewon's voice cut through. "guys..."

"it's just one. we'll mow it down," yunjin said dismissively.

"yeah," chaewon echoed.

as you focused on the tank approaching, chaos struck again—a jockey rode yujin, dragging her health down fast. you quickly intervened, freeing her before returning your attention to the tank.

"wait... it's not dying," yunjin exclaimed in disbelief, continuing to unload bullets.

"he's so big," chaewon groaned.

"oh, wait, it is now!" yunjin cried as the tank finally fell, everyone cheering as victory seemed close.

but then, another swarm appeared. zombies flooded the bleachers, and yujin was slammed to the ground by a charger. chaewon, wielding an axe, rushed in to save her, only to face yet another tank. the group barely managed to set it on fire and take it down as the rescue helicopter appeared overhead.

another notification flashed across the screen: rescue has arrived! get aboard

you and chaewon scrambled up the bleachers while yujin held her own on stage, fighting off the remaining zombies. but just as she made it to you, chaewon was downed. yunjin ran to help but got downed herself.

yujin threw a molotov to clear the area but ended up setting both you and chaewon on fire in the process. "both chaewon and yunjin are down! we can't go without them," yujin said urgently.

"i'm coming, give me a sec!" you yelled as you fought through the flames to revive yunjin.

"just run to the helicopter!" you shouted once yunjin was back on her feet.

as you made your escape, yunjin got downed again. yujin, torn between survival and saving her friend, paused. "i can't leave without her!" she cried, fighting off zombies. but eventually, she gave in. "actually, i might have to leave her," yujin said, backing away.

"yujin! what the fuck!" yunjin shouted as yujin left her behind.

"sorry, i gotta put me first," yujin quipped as she headed to the helicopter with you and chaewon.

"wait, we can't leave without chaewon," you said.

"you right, we can't leave her, and by we i mean you two" yujin agreed staying near the helicopter, far from the danger.

"i have a defibrillator!" you said, rushing to revive yunjin.

"alright, i'll cover you," chaewon promised, while yujin hung back in her safe zone.

you called for help, taking damage while trying to get yunjin up. "wait, help me!"

chaewon hesitated but eventually stepped forward, just as yujin climbed into the helicopter. "pilot, you can leave now."

"what do you mean, leave?" you snapped.

before you knew it, the helicopter left with only yujin aboard. the sound of her triumphant laughter echoed in your headset.

"yujin, you left?!" chaewon's disbelief was palpable.

"ain't no way," yunjin muttered.

in memory of:

chaechae jenaissante gameryn

"i went to get a medkit for chaewon, and they killed me for it," yunjin said.

"in memory of us minus yujin's bitch ass" you said.

"don't worry, you'll be going in the autobiography for sure," yujin reassured like that meant anything.

"it's so on brand. yujin would leave us in a zombie apocalypse," chaewon sighed.

yujin just laughed in response.

"wow. you're not even gonna try and defend yourself?" you asked, incredulous.

"y'all wouldn't believe me anyway," yujin said casually.

"damn right! you left us!" yunjin exclaimed.

"if we ever end up in this situation for real, i'm sacrificing you first," you said firmly.

"fair," yujin responded, still laughing.

after the game, the group spent a few minutes laughing and recapping the best moments, mentioning yujin's betrayal and the chaos that ensued. once everyone said their goodbyes and left the call, you sighed in relief, finally able to settle in for some one-on-one time with your chat to debrief without the noise of the rest of the group. 

user6 yujin really said "every man for himself" lmao

user7 ofc yujin would be the one to leave

user8 yujin's betrayal arc, wow...

user9 left 4 dead (literally)

user0 no mercy, no loyalty, just vibes

user1 yujin's so real for that

“never inviting yujin to another lobby again,” you declared, shaking your head. you spent a few moments catching up on donations and responding to messages you missed during the game before wrapping up the stream with your usual outro.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[cosmiccrushes]

Not Part Of The Crew

Law x OC || 2.6k ch || 29k totals

start from ch 1 here :)

notes: i didn't proofread as much as i normally would because it is about to be 2025 and i am very tired there might be more mistakes than usual pls don't be mad :p

and on that note, hoping you all have gentle transitions into the new year <3 it's really A Time out there, you know what i mean

CH 13: Law

She hadn’t tried to cause him bodily harm this time and Trafalgar Law would call that progress. When she asked him why he was doing this, he’d told her the truth. He wonders how long it will be before she asks him to elaborate on that. Over the next several days, Law administers Rue’s medical treatment in what could be described as downright amicable silence. She watches him with cat-like eyes narrowed in sharp vigilance, but does not ask him questions like he thought she would. Perhaps she’s saving her interrogations for when she regains her strength and can attempt to stab him again if she doesn’t like his answers. 

On the fifth day following their truce, she finally speaks to him. “I would like something to read.” He eyes her and she huffs. “I am bored.” 

He turns away to hide a smile at her grumbling tone. “Are you well enough to walk?” 

“Yes,” she answers immediately. 

He turns back to her, gesturing to the IV still embedded in the back of her hand. “I think it’s time to remove that anyway. May I?” She nods and he gets to work, trying to ignore the softness of her wrist under his fingers, the way her skin pebbles up her arm as if his touch tickles her. 

He flattens a bandage across the IV insertion site, pausing when she hums thoughtfully. He glances up at her, his fingers pressed to the back of her hand, to find her watching him. “What?” He feels almost self-conscious under her gaze, but has no idea why. 

She finally asks her first question as part of their deal. “Why did you decide to become a doctor?”  

His shoulders tense and Law reminds himself that this is what he agreed to. “My parents were doctors.” But just because he’s agreed to give her his story doesn’t mean he needs to be overly forthcoming with it. Still he braces himself for the inevitable next question…that never comes. 

Rue doesn’t ask where his parents are now. She stares at her hand, which Law realizes with a jolt that he is still holding. He releases her and makes busy work of sorting the IV away. “So the family business?”

When he looks at her again, there is a wistful, sad smile adorning her face. He almost opens his mouth to ask her what it means before remembering that he assented to not receiving any more personal information about her. He shakes his head at himself, realizing how vexing that was quickly going to become. “Something like that,” he finally responds. “They began teaching me when I was a child.” 

She nods slowly, that smile still on her lips. “That book then?” 

***

Law leads her to his study, settling behind his desk as she scans his shelves of books. She runs a finger back and forth across their spines and it could be the pendulum of a pocket watch set on hypnotizing him for the way Law mindlessly stares, mesmerized. He snaps his attention away just as she turns towards him. 

“Why mystery novels?”  

Law’s heart squeezes painfully. The memory of Cora-san’s enthusiasm washing over him. The way the pirate would don different voices for the characters, acting out scenes with a gusto that made even surly Law fight back a smile. “When I was young, someone introduced me to them. I liked trying to solve the puzzles before they were revealed. It was- an enjoyable pastime.” Law had nearly said it was a welcome distraction, but that might open her to questions about what he’d needed distracting from. He hopes he’s given her enough that she won’t ask who showed him these books in childhood. Law doesn’t talk about Corazon. 

“When you find something you like, you really hang onto it, huh?” 

He feels a spark of electricity at her playful banter. The only thing he has ever held onto is a vendetta. 

Rue chooses a book, heading to his sofa. She shimmies back into the cushions, plopping her feet onto the table in front of her before looking at him. She arches an eyebrow. “It’s okay if I stay here, right?”

Law nods. “Of course.” 

And thus they fall into a rhythm over the coming weeks. Law declares her well enough to leave the medical bay and return to her previous quarters on the ship. But every day she turns up at his office, with her questions and her perusal of his bookshelves. The doctor in him knows that she should probably be staying in bed, resting. Regardless of how much she acts as if she’s not in pain, not exhausted– he can see it in the tightness around her eyes and in how carefully she moves. But the other part of him doesn’t want to fight with her about it and– he doesn’t want her to go. He starts thinking of that spot on the couch as her spot.

Her questions are far ranging. 

“What do you like best about being a doctor?” 

Law knows better than to say helping people- she’d never believe it of him. He’s not even sure if it would be the entire truth. So he offers the closest he can get. “I like having expert knowledge that can be systematically applied.” 

Rue rolls her eyes at him. “Of course you do.” She pauses though, tapping her lip rhythmically. “Then again, I suppose that’s kind of how it feels to be a bard sometimes.” He clamps his teeth over the many questions he would like to ask her about her profession. 

“What’s your favorite food?” Rue asks one day out of nowhere, looking up from her book as if the thought had occurred to her in the middle of a sentence she was reading.   

“Onigiri.” 

A couple of days later she asks, “What’s your least favorite food?” 

“Bread.” Law watches her mouth drop open.  

“You don’t like bread?” 

“I do not.” 

“But it’s…bread!” She exclaims, dropping her book onto her lap as she raises her hands in seeming distress. 

“Yes, I’m aware of the concept.” 

She shoves her book off to the side, rising to her feet. She paces back and forth. “But what’s not to like about bread?”  

“I could have an allergy, you know,” Law says calmly. 

This stops her in her tracks, her cheeks tinging pink. “Oh. Of course, I’m sorry.” She bites her lip. “Do you? Have an allergy?” 

“No.” His lips twitch up when her mouth drops open in a round, surprised ‘O’ again. But his smirk flattens with worry as she strides around his desk. He wonders if his teasing is enough to warrant her throttling him. He swivels in his chair to face her as she steps up beside him.

She seizes his discarded hat off his desk and swats him in the head with it. “That is not nice, Trafalgar Law!” She smacks him in the shoulder. “You shouldn’t tease people about made up allergies!” 

He barks out a laugh when she hits him in the head again, fanning his hair across his eyes. “It’s not made up.”

She stops as she’s about to swing his hat at him again. “It’s not?” Her blue eyes are wide with curiosity. 

“No. Some people are allergic to a compound in bread. Doctors suggest avoiding it altogether to prevent serious allergic reactions if that’s the case. It’s still being researched.” 

She completes her swing, the hat slapping against his chest. “Then don’t make jokes about real allergies! That’s not okay either!” She crosses her arms, his hat dangling from her fingertips.

She sounds so cross that Law is genuinely chastised. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He dips his head in apology. She exhales and Law glances up in time to catch her wince and press the hand holding his hat tighter against her abdomen. “And, I think I promised that we could fight after you’re healed. Until then, as your doctor, I’m going to have to insist you stop assaulting people.” 

She waves his hat at him in dismissal, but does lean her hip against his desk. “If it’s not an allergy, then what don’t you like about bread?”

“Dry. Chewy.” 

She scoffs. “Well maybe you just haven’t had very good bread. I used to help make-” She cuts off abruptly and Law finds himself leaning forward hoping he can chase whatever words she’s snatched off her tongue and shoved back into her head. She stands, dropping his hat back onto his desk. “I have to go. I’m feeling a bit fatigued. I should rest.” She leaves without a backward glance. 

Questions he can’t ask bounce around his head that night. What kind of bread did she make? Who did she help make it? A family member? A friend? Carlo? Would she bake for him, if he asked? 

***

In the next week, Rue is noticeably more reserved, as if her near admission of personal details scared her to silence. She still comes to his office. She still reads. But her questions come less frequently. Despite Law’s reluctance to speak about his past, he finds he misses her striking up a conversation. He also worries if the groundwork they were laying to build rapport has crumbled away.

Tentatively, he begins to answer questions she’s not asking. “This book is good to lift the mood after that book.” “I read this one in a single afternoon.” “I picked this one up after it had been discarded at a tavern.” He can’t seem to stray away from book-related facts about himself but it seems to do the trick. Rue relaxes, her questions resume. Law is both soothed by their presence and perturbed by his own steadily rising mountain of unanswered thoughts. 

One day, Rue enters his office after breakfast. He’s continued to ask his crew to deliver her meals to either her quarters or his office. They haven’t discussed the arrangement, but Law assumes she would’ve given him an earful by now if she was displeased with this and preferred dining with the rest of the crew. Law felt assured in his assumption that Rue preferred doing most things alone. That the amount of time she is spending in his company is a significant exception, not the rule. 

She shoves a book she’s clearly finished overnight back into its spot on the shelf before beginning her hunt for the next one. She pauses at the door that leads to his sleeping quarters, her head tilting to the side. Turning to him, she says “Can I see your bedroom?” 

“I- You- What?” Trafalgar Law was not accustomed to stumbling over his words, but her question has caught him so thoroughly off guard that he thinks he must have misheard. 

“Your bedroom. Can I see it?”

“Why?” His mind is spinning, trying to recall if he made his bed that day- but of course he made his bed, he always does. Had he left laundry on the floor? Why does he feel so damned embarrassed right now? 

Rue shrugs. “You’ve seen mine. I think it’s only fair.” 

Law wants to argue but she’s right. He knows exactly the makeup of her bedroom, on his ship. He wonders if that’s been unsettling for her- to have no privacy, no place truly her own here. Any protestations he was going to make fall away. It was only a bedroom. He stands, pacing slowly towards her. She doesn't move aside as he nears and he has to reach around her to open the door. He forces himself not to look down as he does, aware of her proximity and the heat climbing up his neck. The door swings open and he steps back. 

“Huh. Not locked.” Rue enters his room, gaze sweeping slowly around the small space. 

“Why would it be locked?” 

Rue squints at him over her shoulder, amusement dancing through her eyes. “You have a strange penchant for not locking things that you’d think a pirate would keep locked.” 

He has no idea what to say to that so he observes silently as she trails around his room. Her finger sweeps over the single row of books atop his dresser. “Are these special editions?” She wiggles her eyebrows, the gesture so categorically Rue that he answers without thinking. 

“Yes. Well, special to me.” 

Rue’s touch against the books is soft and gentle. Would that side of Rue ever be directed at him? Or would it always be closed fists and stinging palms?

“They’re sentimental?” She asks softly. 

Law nods. He knows he could leave it there, but she’s staring at those books with a tenderness that Law feels compelled to preserve. To hold onto for as long as he can so it soaks into his memory, sure that he is witnessing something rare. “They were given to me by someone important to me. He…used to read them to me when I was young.” They were Law’s most important possessions- his only possessions really. He’d taken great care to protect and preserve the books Cora-san brought back to their camps to entertain him with. 

There’s a torrent of emotion in Rue’s words when she speaks next. “You’re lucky. To have had someone to read you stories.” 

Law moves to the dresser, pointing to the first book Corazon ever brought him. “This one was my favorite.” 

She strokes the book spine, then smiles up at him. It feels like one of her real ones- no barbed wire wrapped around it to keep him at bay. The word beautiful flashes through Law’s mind. “Not a parent then?” She asks the way you do when you already know the answer. 

“No. My parents were killed when I was quite young.” 

She doesn’t offer platitudes like some might. She simply nods. She continues moving around the room. The calm, calculated, collectedness of Trafalgar Law is short-circuited when she sits down on the edge of his bed. He’s not quite sure what makes it so bizarre other than the fact that he would’ve never expected her to do it. It was a familiarity, an intimacy he was certain he hadn’t yet earned. But here she was, brushing a hand against the soft fabric of his bedspread. 

She continues tracing invisible patterns into the cover. “My parents also died when I was a child. A fire. I grew up in an orphanage. I would’ve died in the fire too, if my father hadn’t tossed me out a window. Instead, I got away– burned and with a broken leg– but not nearly the price my parents paid.” She finally meets his eyes. “It’s not easy, is it? Being someone who got away?” 

Another piece of the puzzle falls into place for Trafalgar Law. That emotion, pooling behind her eyes, he knows it’s waters well, has swam in its depths plenty. The thing inside of him that keeps gravitating towards her, that feels like a kinship. This is part of it. It’s the pain of a specific kind of loss- one you weren’t sure you were meant to have survived. 

Law turns to his dresser, pulling the first book Cora-san ever read to him into his hand. He holds it out to Rue. It’s the best thing he can think of to give her for sharing this piece of herself with him. A piece of himself in return. 

She takes the volume gingerly in her hands. There’s an undeniable reverence there as she looks at the cover. She rises from the bed, hugging the book to her chest with the hand still splinted with her healing fingers. Her other hand she brings to hover over his heart, then her fingers press gently against him. “Thank you.”

Law isn’t sure how long he stands there after she leaves. The lingering warmth of her hand, only a phantom against him, but far from unsubstantial in the weight of its significance. 

[shiaawtheharmless]

What in the actual fuck lmao (pls read everything lmao if u want)

so, im just noticing about this, i never knew someone made a damn callout post about me for about 2 days now and now that im checking there is some really wrong stuff here, some of them are just taking out of context, while others have like...really dumb stuff.

before i continue, i wanna let yall know that those images date way back (maybe not too back) like around 3 or 4 months, around august and not only I AM RESPONSIBLE for those act, i did apologize to these people, which at the end they didnt get the message thru and never knew, mostly cuz i fowarded this message thru the owner of the server, and not trying to do it in-server, heres the evidence of my apology and the date of it.

its really easy for everyone to take everything with different meaning and put it on the internet to fuck someone over, but we are going to talk about that later, rn imma tell yall a story about this;

months ago, i was getting some problems, mostly problems with the school (which im not getting much into) that were frustrating me, because i normally get the habit of always draw and post my content on tumblr everyday or atleast 3 times a week, i never refrain of making content for my small audience and i wouldnt never stop. Around that time i joined a specific server, i was still getting a lil frustrated but i still managed to hold on my emotions at some extent. Putting it simple, i was just not getting sleep and it was easy for me to break, and that what happened, and at the end i got banned, which i totally took the L and went back defeated.

that was months ago, and this guy post this thing like it just happened (probably not, but he never addressed it).

and other stuff happened (the reblog of @clydeswob)

yeah, i did that, and ngl, that kinda stuff often happens on the internet and tbh, i cant take that shit seriously, on that occassion i was laughing a bit, but i realized this guy was genuine so i kinda went ligth on him but still said that he needed to search that stuff.

there was also that guy called "Ethan", just saying, i was actually not cool with that guy because it started insulting @clydeswob, which i didnt at the end.

and this guy said that i was talking bout politics....seriously??? i dont see a gram of politics on there lmao. anyways

back to the other callout, i wanna resolve each damn screenshot that was censored and screenshotted in a way that yall can get a different story.

The first point calls out about me doing suggestive stuff, which yeah its suggestive, i get it, but they never told who i was replying to.

the OP's version of the screenshot is something like this

yall see something? theres a middle text all censored here, no reason other than maybe just covering up the guy's identity, but it kinda uncalled that you had to censor the message. In this image i was replying to that guy, that also said something kinda NSFW (not blaming him) that i replied to. heres the OG image.

yeah, it still suggestive, and you may say like; "oH bUt tHeRe wEre mInOrs!".

kinda, you see, that server has around just 90 minors, and the rest of the damn server are damn adults, and although this doesnt change that (sadly) there was a possible minor in there, on the date that this message was sent, there were no any present damn kids in there. But still at the end, people told told me to tone down, which i aknowledged but these people dont actually address it again.

if you dont belive, heres the profile of the guy i replied, and most of the users on there, had the same role and the same ager or higher

other point was that i was being racist????

ok lmao

first of all, i never intended to be racist, neither say anything stereotypical.

and second and final, ghetto i just a word.

if you think the ghetto word is only associated with black people stereotypes, then well....thats kinda of ironic dont you think?. Not every black people live in a Ghetto, Ghetto is just a word and that doesnt mean that every black people lives in there, so like err....you kinda dropped the ball of dipshit in there.

3rd point and the most outrageous cuz it was a damn misunderstanding.

So, before i say this, i need to say that im not a total sam and max nerd, i only played "Hit the Road" and saw the cartoons, but i never played the Telltale games (totally not cuz im broke lmao).

in this point, the OP say im making a remark of a damn kid, which is Sammun-Mak. I never seen that character (I swear for my mom and everything) in my life, and this what i replied to.

first of all, that damn tall man on the rigth is a damn kid???? when i saw it for the first time, i tougth that guy was a man, fr. and when i searched the guy, i finded out hes way smaller than that and everything was a missunderstanding, but i also never meant to say that to that ugly ass mf, i meant Max, cuz i dont even know that character.

wanna say rq that im not blaming the artist behind this, im just saying that the way he drew it, made me tougth it was a damn real king, like and adult, and since people like to shit on anyone easily, they didnt even tougth to understand the error and easily called me out as a damn....word...that word, which im totally not dude, yall fucking tweaking.

and last, the animatic post

ok, yall dumb.

Its easy to think that the video is based on....errr....rape??? wtf

why that word comes into your mind first when u see that kind of video????? u ok bro? cuz on reddit and other places i dont see people addressing it as you do.

going back a little into the story of this, i posted this on the sam and max club server, which at the end got deleted cuz it was innapropiate, i said like; "ok it was, i tougth people would get it, but ok" and i took the L cuz ik not everyone likes seeing stuff like that.

but then later after that i got striked and then banned, which was all uncalled for, and i never got DM's of the Mods of that server to explain me what the fuck happened. I tried to contact them, but at the end i decided not, cuz i tougth they would never answer (which they still dont).

going back to the present. wtf dude?

the audio of the video is based of a Vine Video around 2016 created by a guy made "Caleb City". It's easy for yall not to know videos that are this old, but seriously, before u start saying shit like this, pls research the audio, and if you have a problem with the audio, why dont you try to talk to CalebCity himself? tf.

Conclusion...well

I cant lie, the messages were real, but whats wrong is that the OP is trying to totally fuck me over messages that are not only months old, but also carry a different story. Its easy to do this kind of things in the Internet whenever they are real, or not, and its way easier, when the OP of the post DIDNT TAG YOU ON THE POST AND BLOCKED YOU SO YOU COULDNT SEE THE POST

I doubt this guy did it as an accident, cuz when i see the ping of my username it goes like @/shiaawtheharmless instead of @shiaawtheharmless, which when posted, notifies the user to the post, and also because he blocked me.

This is a really dickish move of your part @unprofessionalclownery. Its really easy for people like u talk behind others backs while they arent noticing, and it way easier when its on internet, and you probably didnt had the balls to ping me because you know this is wrong, so please, step off bitch (yeah).

Im not apologizing when I already did, and im not apologizing for my behavior in this post because its totally unacceptable that someone talks shit behind me when im not noticing. Also, i have to make some points so yall understand where i come from.

Im Mexican, and im 18yr, and im on college, im omw on the 4th semester. My career is about learning english, and as you suspect, yes im a ESL. Maybe my English is on point, but since im not a English native and neither a Pro English Talker, i can have mistakes over time (something that i didnt address on other servers, but now im doing it because its something that i need you all know).

just that, i dont think yall need to know anything bout me.

If you really think im bad, go for it, idc

If you dont, thanks ig, but idc neither cuz you still belived it at the first time instead of questioning urself.

peace.

[paper-cities]

op I am SCREAMING TO YOU ABOUT KILLUGON THEY ARE THE BRAINWORMS THE VOICES

Other than that I hope you understand how much the tags on your last kitty Killua post hurt me (and made me laugh, emotional rollercoaster love it)

Don't mind me I'm just going insane and I'd love to scream more at you but I NEED YOUR KG HEADCANONS SO WE CAN SCREAM TOGETHER

HI HELLO ANON!!! Ty for allowing me to break your heart w silly killugon animal au!!!!! I can fit SO MUCH hurt/comfort into these bad boys <33

Incoming rambling under the cut (I'm sorry)

I posted some general killugon hcs here but there are always more soooo:

-Alluka and Nanika bond with Gon super quick. Killua finds it incredibly charming.

-Everyone else knows Gon and Killua are meant to be for AGES before they realize it. It makes Leorio want to scream sometimes, but Kurapika holds him back because "they have to get together on their own time. No one should rush them."

-Gon with dimples, need I say more?

Also I'm obsessed with my silly animal au rn so here's some hcs for that too (sorry):

-I think in this AU animal features are rare and part of the reason Killua and Gon bond. Killua and Alluka/Nanika are the only Zoldycks to inherit their dad's animal features and the Zoldycks take this as part of the reason Killua needs to be the next heir.

-Killua's pupils dilate and he slow blinks like a cat at Gon sometimes. Gon is oblivious to what this means (i trust you/love you in cat speak). Someone points it out one day and Killua is ridiculously embarrassed bcus he doesnt realize hes doing it.

-Gon wags his tail so hard his whole bottom half shakes sometimes. Ofc hes hit his tail on many things (and people) leading to numerous injuries both to himself and others. After he gets it docked (partly due to injuries inflicted on him and the aforementioned injuries he gives himself) he basically just wags his whole butt when hes excited. Killua thinks its super cute but would never admit it.

-If they're apart Gon likes to carry something that smells like Killua (a shirt or jacket) because he's got a blood hound sense of smell. He finds it immensely comforting. Before they get together Gon makes up excuses about why he's doing it, after they're official he admits the truth and Killua feels like an idiot for not noticing sooner.

-Gon gets called guard dog by strangers sometimes because of how he protects Mito, then Killua, and eventually Alluka and Nanika too. Killua jokingly calls him a "good boy". It's meant to be patronizing, but totally gives Gon butterflies. He tries to play it off, but flushing cheeks and fierce wagging give him away every time.

-Play bite each other when wrestling as kids on their limbs. When they reunite as adults who dont know how to handle emotions they end up wrestling again and Gon bites Killua on the neck. They both get too flustered to keep fighting and make up excuses to stop and pretend like theyre totally not in love with each other because it's Very Normal And Very Not At All Romantic to leave bite marks on your friend.

ANYWAY IF YOU READ ALL THAT YOURE A TROOPER TY and ofc pls scream to me abt your hcs!!!!!!!

[msanimedolphin]

~Back In The Game~

~Chapter Twenty-Six~

-Series Masterlist-

What happens when a girl who loves volleyball joins a boys' volleyball club? Does she find love? Will she relive her past or move forward? Join (L/N) (Y/N) on a journey with fun twists and turns.

I don't own Haikyuu or any of the characters.

-Last Time-

“Hinata, you little squirt! Don’t butt in like that!! You totally ruined my chance to say something cool!!!” You giggle at them. The whistle is blown indicating the start of the next rally.

The Municipal Team serves and Ennoshita receives the ball. He calls for cover from Kageyama while Ukai thinks about how everybody needs to work on bumps and passing. Kageyama runs to get into position to set along with Hinata coming to his spot.

‘Hm. He figured out quickly where the ball would be coming down. First step is confident and correct.’ Ukai thinks about Kageyama. ‘This setter’s supposed to be a rookie, right? So. Who’s he going to use…’ Ukai’s thought is answered as he sees Hinata jump.

Ukai, Takinoue, Shimada, Ashai, and Noya stare at Hinata. They are shocked by how fast and high he can jump. Hinata hits the ball and earns his team a point.

“Yeah!! Nice one, Hinata! Kageyama!” Tanaka praises.

Noya, Asahi, and Ukai are left with their mouths agape. Suga is looking at Asahi and Noya expectantly, while Takeda is looking at Ukai the same way. You have a look of pride as you see their reactions.

“Whoa!! Shoyo, that was awesome!! So awesome even I couldn't help but stop and stare!” Noya praises excitedly as the first-year blushes.

‘There were no hand signs. No verbal cues. And they still…?!’ Ukai thinks before speaking. “Hey, you!!” He yells causing Hinata to flinch and he and Kageyama to look at the coach. “Why did you jump where you did?! How did you know?! Short Stuff!”

“Short…?” Hinata begins. “Well… I just jump wherever I want, because the ball always comes wherever I am. Coach.”

‘...!! My eyes don’t wanna believe it, but I know I saw it. When Short Stuff jumped, his eyes were closed. Are you telling me that rookie setter was able to match his set to his movements that perfectly?!’ Ukai is shocked. ‘And how can he be so completely sure the ball is always going to be there? What normal player can trust so much that he’ll jump and swing totally blind?’

“YOU TWO FREAKS OR SOMETHIN’?!” Ukai yells at Hinata and Kageyama.

“Freaks…?” They respond simultaneously. Tsukishima chuckles.

“Why?” Hinata asks.

“Don’t ask me.” Kageyama replies.

“At first I didn’t get what that whole conversation right before the game was about…” Ukai begins, getting you and Takeda’s attention. “But…I think I see now. So that rookie setter’s likely a prodigy of some sort. Compared to a player like him…the normal slobs have to feel inferior. But… A set and a spike happen in less time than a single breath.” He continues as the game resumes. “Players need a whole lot of hours working together to get that kind of timing down. Faith like that isn’t something you can build in a day. So if we say what our rookie setter has is overwhelming talent… then what his senior there has is years of trust and stability.” He observes each of the players before beginning again. “This Karasuno team is pretty dang good!” 

‘Took you long enough.’ You think with a chuckle.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner, sensei?” Ukai asks Takeda with a pat on the back, while you roll your eyes.

“I did. Multiple times.”

The game continues with Ukai’s attention refocusing on Hinata.

“Who woulda thought short stuff would be a middle blocker just from looking? He’s got a mean quick attack… but how’s his blocking?” Hinata is standing by the net getting ready to block. Asahi is standing across from him and notices his intense stare. This makes Ashai avert his gaze. 

“Oh, come to think of it, this game is Hinata’s first chance to play against the ace position that he’s idolized so much.” Takeda points out.

“Hm?”

“Well, you see, Hinata’s idol is a player called “The Little Giant.” He was someone who played during Karasuno’s golden age. That’s why he chose to attend Karasuno, too. He is always giving his best, saying that someday he’s going to be an ace too. And now in this game, Hinata gets to face off with Karasuno’s current reigning Ace!”

“Now isn’t that neat. Though from this angle, it looks a lot like a grown man playing an elementary kid.” Ukai replies. This makes you slightly laugh as you look at the two. You see Suga uses a hand signal for Asahi. ‘Probably telling him the kind of set he’s going to use.’ You think.

Hinata looks at Asahi with such concentration that it’s a bit scary. Karasuno serves and Noya receives it, passing it to Suga. Suga sets it to Ashai. ‘A shoot.’ You think. Asahi jumps and gets ready to spike but is surprised when he sees Hinata in front of him in the air, ready to block.

‘He popped up out of nowhere!!’ Asahi thinks.

Asahi spikes the ball and it hits Hinata’s hand with great force. The ball ricotes off of Hinata’s hand and goes behind him. Daichi and Tsukishima run to save the ball from hitting the ground but neither make it in time. The ball hits the floor earning a point for the Municipal Team. Asahi watches as Daichi talks to Hinata.

“...I knew he could jump, but it’s really shocking to see him pop up right in front of my face like that. How high can he go?” Asahi says to himself.

“That was awesome!” Hinata says looking at his red and stinging hands. “And he hasn’t played for a month!” You smile fondly at the first year.

“Yo, Hinata!” Kageyama begins. “You’re using your hands wrong when you block! If you’re trying to stop them, your hands go like this!” He demonstrates. “See? Like this!” Hinata doesn’t pay attention to Kageyama because he’s too focused on watching Asahi. “Are you even listening to me, boke?!” Since Hinata still wasn’t paying attention, Kageyama started squeezing his head. ‘At least Kageyama tried helping him…’ You think.

“Kageyama, you’re going to hurt him…” You say worryingly. Kageyama stops squeezing Hinata’s head and just stares at him.

“Hey…” Kageyama begins but is interrupted by Hinata.

“Man, the Ace is awesome!! He can hit the ball so hard it doesn’t matter if there’s a block! It’s still gonna smash through and score a point!”

“...”

“? What?”

“Nothing.” Kageyama says walking away.

“?”

“We’re running out of time, so let’s dive right into the second set, everyone.” Daichi says. The game continues. Hinata starts staring at Asahi and gets lost in his thoughts.

‘...If I was as tall and strong as he is…then I could…Whoa whoa whoa!’ Hinata starts shaking his head. ‘Don’t think about that. The Little Giant was awesome and short too! Though he was taller than me. Still…’

“Asahi!!” Someone calls out for Asahi to spike.

‘That’s so cool…’

“?! Hinata!!” You and Daichi call out at the same time.

“Huh?” Hinata snaps out of it and sees the ball flying toward him. Before he could react, the ball hit him straight in the face, causing him to fly backward.

“?! That idiot!!” Kageyama yells.

“AAAA” Asahi yells, frightened.

“GAAAH!!” Tanka yells worriedly.

“HINATA!!!” You scream, quickly running over to him.

~To Be Continued~

[inconsideratekidney]

9/26/24

hey y'all. had some thoughts today and yesterday that I wanted to jot a' down. here we goooo:

my interpreting gang will get this more than others, but we all mouth so much. like we need to chill out with the english stuff, but it's so normal and obviously deaf people mouth and sim com as well, but we need to cut that ish out. i get so distracted when i see people mouth or enunciate like half or most of what they're signing or sign and also speak breathily, like please be quiet i cannot focus. (also i hate the way enunciate is spelled fuck that motherfucker, it does not feel right at all.) i feel like we all collectively need real self-analysis when we rewatch our videos and shit, cuz i experience this as well, where i have no idea what my flaws or my grows are?!?!??! i need someone else to notice them and be blunt with me. just tell me cuz i don't have the valid experience and knowledge that a native would. please help me. anyway, i wanted to mention as well that people will mouth words that have an exact english word that you could translate it to. like if i were to sign big i would mouth "cha" which is a grammatical thing, but i have never signed big and mouth "bg" idk that's just me, i have seen people do that tho. as well as like when you describe a list with your five fingers, you go across your fingers with your dominant hand and don't mouth anything because there's not a direct english word for that. you get a word that describes the concept in english, but not the exact word itself. it's all about *interpretation***~~~~~. sorry i will leave the corny jokes at the door.....no i wont that wasnt even that bad shut up. ok whatever end of that discussion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

maybe i'm out of it, but i need another hillary clinton "everybody pokemon go to the polls" joke for this election. i know we got trump's springfield dog/pet eating meme, but i need one that a candidate said that's like hillary's. i need another meme, pls. i want another motivational piece of information from one of them. anyway, that's as much political talk as i want to get into on here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

what was i thinking about, i was thinking about many things yesterday and meant to write them down. i am shocked i am writing this right now honestly. oh, i went to the career fair not in a professional outfit and holding my salad from commons and everyone kept looking at my salad. like don't sideeye my salad like that cuz u thought i brought a resume made from paper and that looks like a to-go bin. stop looking at my salad, my eyes are up here, pal. too much goofy for one day. i want to go play the sims frrr. i have to do a paper for interpreting and that shit is not going down well. it is going to be my best efforts, but i am sacrificing playing the sims to do this assignment (even though i could've totally worked on it yesterday instead of playing the sims, but who's keeping track of the days when assignments aren't immediately due? i'm not.

I feel like I am finally becoming responsible with my work and that i am not as overwhelmed. it may have actually helped for me to drop a class from this semester, but i am still in over my head. but we are doing wonderfully so far, if i do say so myself. i have only considered dropping one of my majors like twice, and those thoughts disappeared after i dropped that one class, so we are so back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay dude, what the flip.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's hard to write a blog when i am feeling more at peace and not stressed. it feels like i am a whiny teenage girl that hasn't grown up yet. (.....) it feels like i shouldn't need to write a blog at all when i am actually feeling good....it's like life isn't that bad and the bugs in my head are wrong. speaking of which, i am curious about y'all's opinions--can you grow out of a learning disability/being neurodivergent or do you just learn to cope and mask better?

If you ask me, i think i have learned how to cope, and i have always learned to mask. i never knew there was a word for that, but yes, in every situation i am evaluating everyone and everything constantly. my eyes are tired and my brain is satisfied for once, but it's also filled to the brim with mostly useless information and therefore why i yap all the time and find a blog useful for my well-being even when i am happy. it's a good practice to express myself in an unformatted uncensored way with no interruptions from other people specifically about what i am saying, but more so that others would distract me in the environment i am in physically. i prefer to blog alone and in a quiet space, but that isn't always what i get. i am luckily able to do that now and here i am forgetting what question i was answering so let me finish that first before everyone starts to skim and not comprehend what i am saying.....

I think that i have learned to cope and mask, but i also have never taken any medication for add and am unsure if i am on the autism spectrum (i know some ppl say everyone is), i am neurodivergent and it fucks with my psyche and that's what i deal with, so regardless of labels, i think differently and my prefrontal cortex dances to a different tune than that of the majority of the population. my add is not gone, it is just manifested in different ways. I recently heard that girls are more often diagnosed with add than adhd compared to boys and that that can be because girls do not display hyperactivity externally but that we internalize it and it manifests as anxiety and daydreaming and such. definitely that is me. that is called inattentive adhd i believe, i am not going to check now cuz i am on a roll typing and don't want to stop.

I would like to go and get tested for autism but ppl keep saying its not fun when its on your medical records and jobs are like no ew you're autistic we cant accommodate or we are going to discriminate against you without saying it directly. also, like someone also mentioned it's not about the label it's about knowing my needs and accommodating myself. if that turns into something out of my control or requires more from my school and work, then yes, maybe i should do something about it. currently i am a goofy goober and don't use accommodations at school except for asking for extensions, but mostly i just try to sit closer to the front and silently chill. if i feel more comfortable i will raise my hand and ask for clarification, but that depends on the vibe of the class and how physically close i am to the professor.

i would like to be more confident in myself and admit that i need clarification and some accommodations cuz i don't function like other people, but that requires bringing attention to myself and having to say something to hold myself accountable for my actions and that conflicts with my wallflower tendencies.

please do share your experiences with me over text if you would like to cuz i love other people and like to know about other people, especially when i have only recently started to align myself with other neurodivergent people and feel more happy and put together with myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i hope that has been a sufficient amount of yapping for you. this is what i do instead of pay for an expensive therapist or talk to another person because i don't like to be interrupted when i talk about conceptual, philosophical or heavy topics in general.

anyway, toodaloohoo

kD :p

[hellativity]

lol i have been chronically online and wanna rant about some stupid shit i have seen. i will probably say something problematic in here <3 dont worry about it

do you ever see people making up discourse about different ways to be queer and like. maybe they are right idk. but also please log off and hang out with some queer people irl and maybe we actually dont need to play "who has it worse" "who can talk about these issues" identity politics with every different possible combo of pronouns/gender presentation/gender identity.

ok up next i keep getting "modest girl" instagram reels and it's so funny bc most of them are just. normal girls in cute outfits that i would probably wear too. but they are making such a big deal about their Modesty Journey pls chill

the amount of tradwife content i get...... not good. not good at all. and like i love homemakers! that's what my mom did for most of my life! but instagram influencer homemakers??? not it. they have always got some shit to say about their husbands not wanting them to have a job or they don't need a college education or God wanted me to get married at 18. you're allowed to do these things if you want idc but the more this stuff is normalized (ie 60 yrs ago or whatever. also less than 60 years ago.) the more women get trapped in abusive relationships because they don't have a savings account or a path to independence. your individual choices are not setting back feminism but you #tradwife content totally is

last night i got this video about a girl snacking on butter and i was like. wow i hate that. so i looked at her account and she only eats meat?? like? "I don't eat plants" what the fuck., anyway. then instagram showed me lots of other types of disordered eating influencers. yikes!

oh idk i also dont like "girl math" or the word "girlypop" or whatever. it almost feels like we finally made it from "im not like other girls" to "sometimes i am like other girls which rocks bc i love girls" and then took it too far to some kind of weird "i am stupid i am a woman divine feminine" situation? idk i see people posting about this, i'll reblog if i see someone phrase this in a way that makes sense

oh my god and the comments sections???? SO many people have GOT to learn to just scroll past. like if you see a teenager being awkward or "cringe" or wearing a bad outfit. can you just leave them alone? like just keep scrolling. people are so mean? and for what? so other people will like their mean comments. i hate it so much.

man i am just. scrolling and i hate it. and i know the algorithm is showing me things i hate even more bc i look at them. awful.

[touchtranscendslanguage]

hello!! i’m a newcomer but i just wanted to say that your series is so friggen amazing <3 i fancy myself some self-care snakebois and anxiety-ridden driderbois. though roman might actually kill me and i’m terrified of him having the ability to make people fall out of love. what a horrifying thought kxjsjdheh??? anyway!!! i have some questions regarding magic because magic yay worldbuilding <3 my bad if some of these have been asked! as i said, i’m a newcomer aha;;

so if taking away a witches magic makes them no longer a witch, can an old enough witch just die on the spot, or are they biologically however old they were physically (like how the royal fam stopped at around 30) and begin aging at a rate normal for their species? if taking away a witches magic makes them no longer a witch, does giving someone magic make them a witch? and if so, are they then immortal or age slower than previously? are any species (that we know of so far) unable to naturally be witches, and what happens if they’re *given* magic without biologically being able to have it? can a person have TOO much magic? what species do we know of so far and are any of them/will any of them be relevant? i want virgil to be besties with the waitstaff again :((( (not a question but it needed to be said). was sleep messing with virgil’s circadian rhythm? probably not but i just wanted to confirm because he’s a vindictive little shit who totally would 👀

will sleep and virge be spider besties now?,,,,pls i need little weave-and-relieve sessions between the two where they just chill and rant n maybe do each others nails or share weaving tips :))) can virgil croquet or sew or knit or something? because he’d love, probably. it’s great for anxiety (probably, i’m so bad at it i wouldn’t know LOL)

i. am going to cut myself off here before it gets too long. have a good day! <3

- OnlyRoomForHope (would be unanon but i can’t be bothered logging in on right account lmaoo)

@onlyroomforhope

Thank you and welcome! I'm so happy to have you here in my own tiny corner of the fandom! Yeah, we love our self-care snake and anxious spider here. Also, wow, ya'll really latched onto that fact about Roman. As long as Virgil and Janus keep their protections up around him they'll be fine :)

A lot of good questions here and for the most part it looks like they haven't been answered before! This is exciting! *crackles knuckles* Let's dive in, shall we?

So if a witch loses their magic and therefore their immortality they don't just drop dead. Their body is still physically the age it was when they stopped aging, they just begin to age again. This applies to humans, fae are already immortal on their own their immortality just works a bit differently.

Giving someone magic does make them a witch. I think I've mentioned it before, but Remy wasn't born a witch, he got his magic from King Thomas. Gaining his own magic made him a witch and came with all of the perks of being one including immortality. Remy is indistinguishable from any other witch.

Thus far I've only put a lot of thought into humans and fae being witches, but I'd say most highly intelligent sentient species can have witches. Especially the humanoid or partially humanoid ones. So most monsters such as naga, driders, merepeople, centaurs, and vampires can all be witches. Dragons, kelpies, harpies, and sirens cannot.

it's also important to note that I said highly intelligent sentient species. That means beasts are not included. So there are no pheonix, unicorn, bear of bears, or bassilisk witches.

Could someone give a beast or non-witch monster witch magic? Yes. Chaos would happen.

No, a person couldn't have too much magic. Exibit A: Thomas. King Thomas has a ridiculous amount of magic. Should he have that much magic? Absolutely not. That shouldn't be allowed. But, hey, I didn't make the rules (yes I did) and it is what it is.

Now, if you're asking if a lot magic can have negative side effects then yes, it can potentially be overwhelming. If King Thomas got all of his magic at once it would have taken a serious toll on him and at one point he did aquire too much at once and it did take a toll. That was a the very beginning of Thomas's reign and he depended on Nico a lot to hide it. After an adjustment period he was fine, though. After that he learned to take magic gradually, one or two witches at a time with breaks in between.

Okay, so so far in the series we know of humans (obviously), fae, driders, and naga. We also know that fae are split into seelie and unseelie. Only humans and seelie are going to play major rolls in the series. As tempted as I am to play around with the many subcatagories of fae and the other species, I'm trying to keep this as simple as I can. We may see them play minor roles as in individual characters but that's it.

That being said, I am planning the brief appearance of a third major species.

Now, there are many minor species of monsters but those all defer to either the seelie or unseelie making fae a major species. Humans are also a major species. The third major species that is indepented of and can stand toe-to-toe with fae and humans is spirits. Spirits will barely appear in the series so I don't plan on doing a lot of wolrd building for them.

So all in all, only humans and fae will really be relevant.

I want Virgil to be friends with the staff again, too ;_;

Remy totally would mess with Virgil's sleep, however he was on Earth up until the day he was introduced to Virgil, so no, he didn't have anything to do with Virgil's sleeping problems.

Remy are Virgil are going to be besties! I am firmly team Those Two Getting Along. They are my babies and I love them, they must at least be friends. There will be classic sleep overs and they will get up to shananagins, so stay tuned for that.

Virgil can weave and sew. He's okay at it. he does it more for stress relief than to be good.

[psychelis-new]

Hii I hope you don’t mind me asking for some advice. So whenever I go in a crowded place and stay for a while I always end up crying whenever I come back home. I’m guessing its bc I absorb other peoples energy? I’ve tried visualising a shield but I feel it’s not strong enough. If you have any advice for this in general I would really be grateful.

Hey, sure it's fine. Yes it could be cause you pick up a whole bunch of energies all at once or just that... being around people, especially crowds, makes you feel unsafe. It's a normal reaction, you don't have to worry: not everyone likes being around people, and in particular when there are too many of them and you cannot control what they do or where they go. It can feel overwhelming (and it can be a sign of a deeper wound though -ofc I'm not a doctor, so take as resonates).

In particular when we're already stressed for other reasons, being around lot of people (and strong noises, lights and smells), can indeed add to our fears/stress and make it all too much to bear with. But it's good that you cry: crying helps you remove what hurts, physically and emotionally. It could simply be your way to free yourself from that accumulation of random energies or from the general experience. Ofc I am sorry you cry, but it's good. Some people cannot cry easily for things that happens to them, and they accumulate so much before they can free themselves (yeah, hi!)... Anyway, crying doesn't have to be a bad thing, no matter what you've grown up believing (generally: crying = something is wrong = bad). Crying is good, it helps you get better (even if you're in pain).

Now, back to us: to not feel is almost impossible, especially for those who are empaths and pretty sensible (this is also how we may have grown up, needing to pay attention to our surroundings in order to "save ourselves"). But you can work on trying to isolate from what's outside, to put up boundaries (emotional ones. Kinda like shields, but you don't need to visualize anything and lose energy that way -losing energy makes you more vulnerable to the outside one, try to preserve it within you). To put up this boundaries requires lot of work/practice and patience, of confidence and kindness in yourself (it won't work perfectly since day 1) and working on grounding yourself and feeling stable. This is the only real shield you can truly create, whether it's energies or just emotions: working from your inside out.

Generally psychologists suggests to get away from any overwhelming situation (when possible ofc): but crowds are hard to be avoided sometimes. So, try to move away mentally by focusing on something else. - Maybe put music on (just pls remember to pay attention when you cross roads and even walk, look where you go -I personally don't like that cause it makes me lose focus on my surroundings and I don't like to be not able to hear what's around me, but we're all different) - sing a song or a random lullaby in your head, or repeat a lesson or plan your day/try to imagine a dialogue with a friend or anyone (maybe in another language if you know, just to practice it too -it will totally make you focus on another problem which is remembering words); - count to a number (just to see if everyday you count to the same number); - maybe count your steps, but try to not run; - focus on a color/word or an advertisment you can see around, and try to imagine a story about any of them or where you can find them (like color yellow: lemons, bananas, minions...). - hold a notebook or something near your stomach, it may help you feel protected (even a plushie, there's nothing bad in that). - imagine someone holding your hand if you want, and shielding you. Your angels are likely to do it anyway, just be aware of their presence around you. Just take it slow and breathe. Focus on your breathing and calm your body (especially neck/shoulders area and lower back/belly), remind yourself it's okay/safe to walk there and nothing will happen. And nobody's energy can enter you if you don't let them, so don't be scared, don't let fear take over: stay focused on you and grounded. If you walk around in fear of others and look at how many people are around you thinking "omg they're too many I cannot afford them all", you will easily start getting overwhelmed. Don't let this happen: you don't have to afford anyone, you just need to walk your path to home. Again, breathe and focus on you. Do/Think anything that can keep you focused on something else, and that can be comforting for you in that moment, until the crowd is only a memory.

Take care, okay?

[yankstrash]

I just can't believe you're so close to all the players rn.....

Like imagine running into one I would DIE

no bc here's my mind every single time i've been out & about

"i need to stop tucking my hair behind my ears. what if i see someone?"

"sunglasses ON. i look sweaty & gross right now"

"what do i even say if i see someone? how am i supposed to approach them?"

"never mind, i'm not going up to anyone. i'll just stare from afar."

"how do i act totally normal & not seem bat shit crazy in front of a guy who is literally younger than me"

"my anxiety is so bad right now"

"does my outfit look stupid?"

like PLS IT'S SO MUCH TO KEEP UP WITH

anxiety inducing experience but in the best way possible 😆

we were walking outside their hotel yesterday & there were so many fancy cars & buses

also saw a bunch of guys in suits taking family pictures in front of the arena & i was like mmk so he's getting drafted!

like this is so fun i'm doing this every year from now on

[gothsoyl]

Just a rant about the writing community in general, because I saw something that honestly made me a little uncomfortable and angry.

I can't understand people who consider it ok and acceptable to publish stories that address heavy topics such as rape and pedophilia, but in a completely normalized and sexualized way.

People use 'therapeutic writing' as an excuse, as if it were a good excuse for something that is honestly just irresponsible. I am a person who used writing in my therapy sessions for a long time and it helped me a lot to deal with some traumas in my life and today, I am studying psychology, so as someone who has already had the experience of using this method and who is now studying it, I cannot accept that people REALLY think it is okay to publish this type of content. It seems that no one stops for a second to consider that this work that was "supposedly" written as a way to deal with some trauma, can end up triggering triggers and other things in other people!!! And it is not a question of "don't like it? Then don't consume this type of content", because sometimes the person really does not consume this type of content but comes across it thanks to tags and markings by the writer that were done incorrectly and inappropriately.

I've lost count of how many times I've come across this kind of material on publishing networks like tumblr and ao3 when I was looking for cute and silly reads, simply because the writer of the material was a total irresponsible and idiot, marking his work as 'fluff' when all his material showed was the most disgusting, horrible and disgusting plot possible.

The worst part is that again, there are still those who try to find excuses for such material. People need to start understanding that even if it is therapeutic writing, the person who has been through the trauma should at least have some common sense in thinking that perhaps other people have gone through similar things and what is a painful memory for them, may be a painful memory for someone else and that this material may trigger others.

I need to emphasize that I am referring to themes such as rape and pedophilia being portrayed in a normal way or sexuality.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to talk about this with someone because I came across some really disgusting shit a few days ago that made me think a lot about this and how people try to make stupid excuses for unjustifiable things, all because they want to be disgusting and consume this type of content as if it were normal.

-🙄

omg I feel you so much. and I totally agree with you. I saw so much weird stuff where people were writing about incest, rape and pedophilia in a romantic and sexual way, saying stuff like "I want them to rape me it would be hot".

I don't care why you're writing this stuff. it's just gross. it's not like people can't write about rape, incest, pedophilia. you can't write about it in a good way, making it look hot or romantic cause it's not. you don't even need to go through such events to understand what it feels like. and it's definitely far from "hot". it's scary.

and tbh I saw so much gross fics in yellowjackets fandom... that's literally disturbing and concerning. if someone is writing it, pls lock yourself in a room and stop talking to people.

if you want to write about such topics, don't make it look good. that sounds so simple why it's so hard to understand?

[castle-dominion]

5x1

I need to leave for work in 15 mins (by which I mean 30) but I can watch the first 5 mins of 5x1.

The audio cutting is interesting...

*intense scene about killing ppl* *wakes up after a sexy night*

"that part" lol He's so smiley! RC: So…You’re on—one board with this, right? It’s not some “Oh, I—I quit my job, I almost died, I’m in crisis” thing? Girl go back & say "I apologize, I would like to have my job back pls." RC: So what would you, um… *starts taking off her shirt* …like to do today? I like her hair

MARTHA The CLOSET? Martha totally would have heard them arguing. WE??? the way she blows her hair I love it.

Of course she is hungover! RC: Well, Alexis, as your father, I have to say that I am .. deeply disappointed in you, and yet oddly proud. Becks get out! Out! Out!

Poor ryan, he has no team but at least gates is helping. Oh yeah negatives! Ah the vice P's security detail meaning ryan doesn't even have people there who are not his usual team.

Yucky torture

At least he is apologizing or smth... Why would he be embarrassed about being seen with you? RC: And, call me selfish, but I want to keep what we have together to ourselves a bit longer. KB: Still, it wasn’t your finest hour. RC: No. RC, approaching: But maybe I could…make it up to you…somehow. KB: I suppose since we know that you’re mom’s not gonna be barging in, we could go for a round two. RC: Well, technically it would be a round four, but— *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* RC: She’s stalking us. She knows. KB: Who is it? KR: (O.S.) Beckett, it’s Ryan! KB: *relieved face* RC: Oh. KB: Hide. Quick, in the closet over there. RC: Yeah, I’m not getting in there. KB: Why? I hid in your closet, why can’t you hide in mine? RC: Why should I? KB: Becau… KR, still through the door: Beckett, is everything okay? ((because after all, she did just almost fall & quit her job & they're dealing with her shooter & she is not responding much & this could very well be a hostage situation where someone is telling you what to do & say)) KB: Fine! [Beckett turns back to Castle.] KB: Okay, maybe I’m not ready for anyone to know yet. Right now. RC: Come on, how’s he gonna know? KB: You’re here. Just like I was there. RC: Yes. Yes, the difference being, I have my pants on. ((XD)) Or…or are you embarrassed to be seen with me? KB: Okay. Fine. Just act normal. If that’s even possible for you. [Beckett heads for the door.] RC: It’s me. ((she has a woodstove)) [Beckett prepares to open the door and looks back at Castle to make sure he’s ready. Castle awkwardly tries to strike a casual pose. Beckett opens the door and Ryan enters without waiting to be invited. He has awesome hair. He stops short when he sees Castle.] KR: Hey, Castle. What are you doing here? RC: Oh, I was just walking by…the neighbor…hood. I only live twenty… [Castle thinks for a moment.] RC: uh h…what are you doing here?

Ryan is talking so low & soft (& deep)

Castle: I know him Ryan: *sonic dub eggman voice* what are you two fucking talking about

Holy crap I only just now got to the title card? I thought I made it all the way to the title card before work yesterday!

Course no name, he would not release info like that, it is dangerous

SHe can't go back again, she broke out! She made it! "we've done this before with less to go on" like when u didn't have a body RC: And I’m not so bad myself.

Castle KNOWS that watch? rly?

Heck yeah protests Ooh esposito moments! Oh no he's going to be vigilanteing Wait nvm he's at the army surplus store-- wait that's a recruiting place. I'mma join the protests. I hope esposito doesn't rejoin the military. Fuck the military. (what's in the backpack?)

Ah meeting A Guy.

Didn't use his signal light Lol nice glasses & car. First names <3 Who is Cass? Didn't esposito say just last season that he never got shot? He said it was hard enough for him but beckett got shot? or was it about ryan in the second 3xk episode? JE: Only if you get caught Grunkle Stan: If there are no cops around, anything's legal

Bro don't just wipe the drive, destroy it too. He's a cop, he knows how to destroy evidence

"friend of mine" "you need to help me"

Only 17! Wow

Legal team? Johanna beckett?

Ryan all frustrated Knows the name of officer Hoban

All this detectiving, love it

Course it was a burner lmao I love how ryan is using his desk & esposito's at the same time, he is wheeling between computers rolling between lol

SMITH THAT'S THE NAME & LOOK HE'S THERE

She just broke down his door? she has a personal gun? (I can see that) NO MAN'S DEAD QUICK TAKE IT OUT OF THE FIRE if maddox only JUST was here putting the stuff in the fire, then he might still be nearby HE;S ALIVE

you're right she is not safe...

86? like when you have no more product to make a dish to sell? My chef brain lol. Could be like "86th street & xyz avenue" but he was too out-of-it to finsih his sentence

RC: No. smith is too smart to only keep one copy and in his apartment. He’s too careful for that. It’s…it’s a code, and the answer’s here somewhere. Sh'es right, y'all ought to run Yes, if there is a straw you SHOULD grasp.

Does he own the whole building? Firebox safe? Wow they already found it? lmao that was fast

WAIT IS THAT THE BOX THAT WE SAW AT THE END OF S3? THE ONE MONTY SENT STUFF TO?

Why didn't maddox find it first? he was here first

CM: Turn around. Hands behind your back. Why behind your back? I'd say hands up, visible, or on your head. After that, then I'd suggest turning so you are facing away from me/CM & then the hands were to be behind their backs

Steals her gun (like ryan?)

This is a floor safe? oh wait no that's why he's here he followed them! why doesn't he kill them?

Me, a fiddler, we carry zip nail clippers ok first of all that is a very loose zip tie also don't y'all know how to get out of zip ties/duck tape?

RC: If we got murdered right now, I’d feel so ripped off!

JE out of nowhere: Done what four years ago?

Nice, his name still is CM, cedric marks, cole maddox, perfect for me to type

How did u put a bolo out & have a uniform spot it & tell u? u'r on leave

Nice shoes & ankle gun lmao RC: Nice. What about for me? JE, surprised & angry: Oh, you mean an extra extra piece?

that is typically not how opening a safe works

He's still moving tho lmao they can't see him aim over his shoulder? (which,, u can't aim)

Espt grabbed becks out one way, now she's on the other side?

JE: ... He’s gone.

VG: So, let me see if I understand. As luck would have it, you three were in the neighborhood taking a walk?

VG: I am not interested, Mr. Castle, as you specialize in fiction.

Maddox is there because he was trying to kill beckett & then he was close to her when he died, duh

RC: Bad karma JE: *hits him*

Ryan KNOWS it is the file & is still keeping their secret!

Why would smith tell castle where the file is if it was just going to blow up?

*gives beckett a beer but not castle*

I love how they both draw their personal guns & castle grabs a weapon & I'mma clip this * then he just RECOILS & esposito doesn't put down his gun for the longest time

But also that gun is probably loaded & cocked with the safety off bc they expect it to be someone trying to kill them,, that's dangerous af & then adresses beckett not esposito

montgomery, lockwood, other names... I should do a puzzl e today also nice music

Yeah well I got ending balance <3

It's been five hours? Ages long

you still remember the password? They didn't change it? Nice dirty bomb episode callback

Dang this man is a politician?? lmao this is insane

KB: And then he realized that he couldn't charge mobsters because they wouldn't testify and then the cops would walk. KR: So instead, he decided to get in on the action. If they were collecting ransom from mob guys, he wanted a taste in the form of cash money orders.

It is SO late at night probably, why r they calling him? Let's say it was 5pm when they cracked out the beers & ryan arrived, so it is 10pm, not /that/ late ig...

Why did this cop let these two in?

How does he breathe out through his nose if he has a thing in it?

What favour did he do? not just murder becks. Not just the murder of your mom.

Good idea. Disappear.

Becks using her interrogation skills

How long have they had that phone call outside?

What kind of encouragement?

that was NOT dispatch babe

What if that was HIM disappearing, NOT him getting assassinated

I love the way we see her reflection in the TV

ofc they were disabled

Why does ryan have TWO teams? Someplace she'll be safe but b'y what abt your family

Wow interesting picture thing there,,, like murdoch's brain oof that picture switch was good

Aww she put him up in her bed

Nice sit straight upright with that musical sting or w/e it is

I did- I DO ryan's jacket gives him a good waist. espt's outfit is great too GOSH RYAN STEPPED INTO THE LIGHT & DANG HE PRETTY

ryan's badge number is 42344 for all u fanfic writers

Espt looks at castle as if he's the reason becks is going after him

thought that camera was a gun for a sec Hastings <3 But doesn't she know becks is on admin leave & also quit? Love love love the music

Ryan running thru with his badge

Monty really loved her

She slipped her phone in his pocket? no someone else's phone, a cheap burner or smth love his ring

Why is she revealing her location to him

He's right, probs shouldn't ring that bell but also what if ryan was just looking smth up? & becks has had an hour head start, if she wanted to kill him, she may have already done so unless she's planning on hiding the body well & destroying evidence

Your frigging arm, first names, & then he gives espt his phone bc he knows he doesn't trust himself with his phone or smth idk bro or he knows espt doesn't trust him

"ms beckett" ooh this is the private meeting with the donor lol WB: Never expect that from a politician

Is this story even true? I mean... yeah I can see that but did you do that?

I mean,, that may be true but u also killed a bunch of ppl & are killing more to cover it up? Oooooh that music, it was written backwards He's really good at this, he knows this, he really is a politician, he is good at talking. Hitler & trump & those guys might be way off the side but they were good at speaking

He's right tho, it is not about the power, & also didn't he just say if she had the file she wouldn't need him to say the truth?

She memorized it?

you don't know the details of smith's arrangement tho, don't say you want to make that your deal now!!! Or anyone I care about <3 (also good on her in this bluff) She's right... He really is intimidated...

Nah facial wounds heal well... I have a cut on my nose & it has been like maybe four to six & a half years & it is basically gone, I can barely see it even if I'm looking

btw her outfit is nice

Castle if she killed him u would have heard the shot

Was she putting a ring on just there?

the gift that keeps on giving

KB: I…I don’t know. VG, calmly: I don’t believe you. VG: You’re covering for someone, and I know who it is. But I don’t intend to dig up the past and tarnish Roy Montgomery’s reputation. The fact is, I…I admire your loyalty. I hope you feel that for me someday.

KB: Well, I have to serve out my suspension, same as Esposito. ((So true)) RC: What are you gonna do in the meantime? KB: Oh, I’m pretty sure I’ll think of something. *feels him up below the camera but the elevator doors are still open*

ok I am trying rly hard to get thru these eps in only an hour & a half or less bc I need to give back the DVDs too soon