#pleease take it as a joke

[iateyourcatnom]

"People with great dentision are gorgeous...but also scary af- hear me out- like you're so used to seeing crooked or gaped or mishapen or at least not really white...but then you see ppl like this mf swr-"

(She's also my first sim with straight teeth hip! hip! hoorayyyy!!!)

[johnnieguilbertsgirlfriend]

hi hi hi! so i was wondering if you could possibly write a little johnnie Smut and fluff where maybe johnnie invites his gf (reader) to be in a video with him and Jake (possibly a Halloween type video) and jake making his silly little comments about johnnie being a virgin and getting no pussy and reader makes a lil comment agreeing w jake. Johnnie being salty the rest of the video and it leading to smut w a lil choking maybe 😜🤭🤭🤭

(i love your writing, feel free to tweak this however u please!)

𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧? - 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

contains: dom! johnnie x f sub! reader, fluff, smut, p in v, choking, fingering, spanking

word count: 1.5k

this request is mmm i needed some dom johnnie

story below the cut

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emo guy:

y/n

babe

babe.

baby wake up

you:

mmmm whats up

emo guy:

wanna be in a vid with me and jake pleease

you:

ok only bc ur so cute

y didnt u tell me this in person?

we live together

emo guy:

oh shit i forgot

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johnnie opens the door to your shared room to find you sprawled out in the bed. you see he's already ready to attack the day, which is surprising, considering he normally doesn't wake up before 2 p.m. you stare at him for a few moments, not saying anything, before playfully pretending to fall back asleep. he takes this as a challenge, walking over to the curtains and yanking them open, almost blinding himself in the process.

"aughh johnnie it's way too bright" you yawn, the light hurting your eyes. he walks back over to you, leaving a quick kiss to your forehead. "c'mon you have to wake up, jake wants to film a video." you sigh, "what are we gonna do?" he looks at the ceiling before looking back down, "i don't know, i think he wants to buy some halloween stuff or something." "okay tell him i'll be ready soon," you say while stretching your limbs. scratching your head, you get up. "we're gonna leave soon, don't be too long babe." johnnie says, walking out of the room.

you finish your light makeup, as you had already styled your hair and put on some clothes that consisted of johnnie's shirt, no name pajama pants, and socks with birks. it wasn't too much, but it was still so cute on you. johnnie watches you finish your makeup, coming up to the vanity. "how did i manage to get the prettiest, loving, and sweet girl ever?" he says, peppering kisses on top of your head, putting his arms around you. "ooh someone's feeling lovey dovey today," you say, pulling him in to a longer kiss. jake bursts through the door, "i- ew, okay guys stop licking on eachother. mama bear needs some candy in her system right now, and i don't need to see all that." he says in a funny southern accent, leaving the room. you laugh a little with johnnie, as you see jake grab his keys, heading to the garage, which is a signal for you guys to get your butts out of the house.

this time, you were the designated camera man, so you held it while they walked through the parking lot. "-and this time we actually have a special guest," you turned the camera around on to yourself and waved, "hey guys, i'm gonna be babysitting these nerds because they got kicked out last time!" johnnie makes an offended expression, "um excuse me it was actually jake who got kicked out because he wouldn't stop screaming" "guys stop ganging up on me" as you film them walking in the store, jake loses spatial awareness, crashing into the metal racks behind him, causing a laugh to come from you and your boyfriend. "oww what the hell johnnie why would you push me like that?" "yeah johnnie why would you do that to poor jake?" "okay how is that fair-"

the video continued like normal, just you three being idiots and making dirty jokes. the shopping cart is almost full to the brim with junk food, random costumes, and halloween decorations. "oh my god johnnie, we have to get you this." jake says, as he holds up a really stupid costume. "that's definitely something a discord mod virgin would wear." "yeah that's exactly my point." "seems pretty realistic." you and jake say at the same time, making fun of johnnie. bursting into fits of laughter, the two of you take turns roasting him. "what do you mean dude you get absolutely zero pussy" "okay y/n help me out here-" "yeah the only girl johnnie hangs out with is you jake." you say, following up his comment. "hey!" johnnie rolls his eyes, looking away and scoffing. you and jake didn't notice, continuing to joke around about johnnie's lack of action, which obviously wasn't true because he was dating you.

typically, you guys wouldn't get mad at eachother when you took turns embarrassing the other, but for some reason he actually seemed slightly pissed. "anyways.." jake continues talking about anything he can think of. for some reason, your boyfriend still looked salty, making snarkier-than-usual comments towards his friend. you guys ended the video, as jake drove home. johnnie stayed quiet on the ride home, and you were thinking if you genuinely might've hurt his feelings. even though it was unintentional, you were determined to find out. jake walks back to his room and shuts the door, presumably going to take a long nap. you turn to johnnie, "are you okay? i'm sorry, i was just teasing you if anything." not saying a word, johnnie grabs your hand, tugging you back to your shared room.

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when both of you get inside, he immediately locks the door and pushes you on the bed. "wha-" he puts his hand over your mouth, leaving you unable to speak. "so you wanna embarrass me in front of the camera huh? i really don't get any pussy, right?", he says while pulling down your pants. you moan out, feeling the friction of his hand against your crotch. "look at you, you're already so wet. do you wanna tell them how much of a slut you are for me, or should we just keep that between us?"

johnnie starts rubbing your throbbing heat through your panties, not letting you answer. he attacks your lips with a passionate and lustful kiss. you kiss back, moaning into it and easily giving into his control. he starts marking your jawline with bruises, as he slides a finger into your soaked pussy. he groans, feeling a tent grow inside his pants. "m' please.." you whine, as he forcefully adds another finger, speeding up the pace. he takes off your lacy panties leaving you completely vulnerable. as you feel yourself getting closer, he removes your shirt. you're finally about to cum until he removes his hand, leaving you practically whimpering for more.

"only good girls get to cum, but you've been really naughty, haven't you? now you have to hold it in." "shit, please johnnie," you say, climbing on top of him while taking off his shirt. he unclasps your bra, quickly sucking on one of your breasts, making you arch your back. while he does this, you get yourself situated on top of his crotch. he takes both of his hands as he gropes your butt. being as horny as you are, you start grinding on his hard-on through his jeans. you whine his name as you start having an orgasm on his pants. "i told you to fucking wait. now you're gonna get it rough whether you like it or not." he moves you off of him, taking off his jeans and his boxer briefs. he flips you on your stomach, and pulls you hips up leaving you in a doggy position. johnnie teases you, rubbing his tip on your now sensitive and overstimulated clit. with that, he takes his hand and gives you a harsh smack on your ass, making you groan loudly.

instantly after, he pushes his full length into you, making both of you moan out. you dig your face into the nearest pillow, trying to deafen your sounds. he starts his pace, getting himself adjusted while groaning. "don't do that, i want to hear your slutty, pretty noises." "w- what if jake hears?" you manage to whimper out. he is attacking your pussy at this point, slamming into you. "then he can hear how no one can fuck you as good as i am." he slaps your ass again, and this time you fully release a moan. "mm fuck" he holds your neck, slightly choking you as he pounds into you. both of you are close to your climaxes. "cum on my dick baby." johnnie groans as he starts rubbing his fingers on your clit, helping you release. while shaking, you shudder out and squirt all over his dick. he follows after you, cumming inside you. (you're on birth control)

he takes himself out of you and stands up. you're so dead at this point that he puts on his boxers, and heads to the bathroom. johnnie comes back with a wet hand towel, cleaning you up and puts a new pair of underwear on you. he also holds you while putting one of his t-shirts on you. "thanks baby." you tiredly say, laying back down on the bed. he crawls right next to you and you cuddle up into him. "so... are you gonna stop making the virgin jokes?" you both laugh, soon falling asleep.

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you're eating cereal for breakfast next morning as johnnie is pouring himself a cup of water. a tired jake comes out of his room, the first words out of his mouth being; "okay guys what the fuck was that?" you look at johnnie, obviously embarrassed as he has a smirk plastered all over his face.

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thank you for requesting! i've been sooo so lazy and it was hard to finish this one but i did it to feed you guys xoxo

[spdrvyn]

I loved your post about Miguel x autistic reader and I really want more pleease

overwhelmingly peaceful

summary: you found your place in spider society, but that didn't take away from the fact that it can get intensely noisy. you don't hesitate to turn to where you know for sure you'll be safe.

tags: fluff. suggestive joke/s. autistic reader. reader is gender neutral. hobie's here too i guess. author doesn't know how to write british slang.

notes: i'm really glad that you guys enjoyed the autistic reader drabbles i posted so i'm more than happy to write this request! projecting even more in this one, thank you for letting me self-indulge <3

The mere existence of The Spider Society was always enough to astound you. You thought that people didn't Miguel enough credit for basically building the place from the ground up, not to mention how many times he's had to travel to different universes to recruit all different kinds of Spider-People.

Of course, you were more than honored to be one of those people. There was a very good chance that you just got lucky to be on his team, Miguel caught you in that one moment where your abilities were at their peak and your light was really shining through. Luck or skill, you didn't care. This was the result of it, you were content with that.

Unfortunately, the society has its downsides. Considering the sheer amount of spiders that pass through, the hustle and bustle is too hard to ignore. You can't exactly carry around headphones every time you're there because where would you leave them just in case you'd be tasked to another mission? So you just tried to avoid the noisiest places, even then, it's hard to get any semblance of quiet.

"Oh my god," you mumbled to yourself, as you silently glared at the cafeteria table next to you. Charisma was just a natural trait to any spider, with that came very boisterous laughter from other people too. Surely, they were nice people, but in front of your salad? Really?

"You good, mate?" Hobie intervened, he leaned his head to the side to get a better look at your face, a small grin came onto his features. "Lads beside you 've always been that noisy. Can get them to shut their traps if you want."

An inaudible sigh left your lips as you shook your head, combing the hair out of your face. You gazed down at your untouched food for a moment, you liked hanging out with Hobie. He understood you and he was funny, but you weren't quite sure if you could handle being in an environment like this right now.

"No, no- it's fine." He raised a brow at your lie. "Okay, it's not. But you don't have to do that for me," you picked up your small take-out box of salad and juice, "The canteen is just too much right now for me, sorry."

Hobie shrugged, picking up a fry and expertly throwing into his mouth. "No problem, always got my drummer to bother. You going to hang with your boyfriend now, eh?" His smile turned more cheeky and you stared at him meanly to take away from the fact that your cheeks warmed at his comment.

You huffed and stomped away, "Oi, you didn't deny that!"

Miguel's office (a.k.a man cave) was dark and decrepit. For some odd reason, also liked a smell of any kind. You designated each area of the headquarters with a scent, but his area lacked any of the sort which you enjoyed. Not to mention, silent.

It wasn't like he really allowed any loud noise anyway, he had a strange list of items that were prohibited from entering his corner. Bells, blenders, on occasion, phones but that was from one time Gwen forgot to shut her alarm off and she got a small lecture on being considerate because the acoustics caused every sound that passed through to reverberate and increase in volume.

That means it would only make sense for Miguel to also hear your footsteps from a mile away, his platform already lowered for you to hop on and he's hunched over his desk. Sparks fly (not just from the sight of him, I swear) from the spot that he worked on and if you're not mistaken, there's a band wrapped around his head which meant he was wearing goggles.

You set your lunch tray down on the one empty spot on his desk before approaching slowly, you bend down to rest your hand on his shoulder and to lean your head against his. "What are you working on now, beautiful?"

Miguel put down the small soldering tool and took off his goggles, putting the freshly made panel closer to his eyes. "People submitted suggestions to make the wrist devices less bulkier," he blindly wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you onto his thigh as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. "Why are you here?"

"I'm an assassin, I've come to take your life." You spoke lowly, ominously. When Miguel doesn't turn to face you, you pout. "The noise in the cafeteria is overwhelming," you shift and properly situate yourself on his lap.

"I was just about to head out for lunch," Miguel sighed, before placing the panel in a small container.

"So... back to the cafeteria? People are sure to go speechless from catching a look at you," you joke, but there's a somber fry in your voice that he doesn't ignore. His warm breath tickled your neck as he pressed brief pecks down the column of your throat, the low hum he let out vibrating against your skin. "Are you that hungry, hermoso?"

"What I meant was," he paused, brushing more hair out of your face, properly tucking it behind your ear. "I was going to head up to my place for lunch. Where there's no people?"

You breathe a small 'ohhh' and Miguel chuckled, "That checks out, actually." You nodded. "Obviously there's no people, would've been weird to have anyone there two nights ago when we–"

"Okay, that's enough." Miguel cut you off, nearly smiling from ear to ear. "Get your lunch, mi sol."

"My hero."

[httpsdana]

84 Jude bellingham with a Brazilian reader PLEEASE

Sal o Azúcar ?~Jude Bellingham

*GIF isn't mine. credits to the owner*

I PUBLISHED THIS AND REALIZED THE REQUEST SAID BRAZILIAN READER. IWROTE THIS AS SPANISH IM SO SORRY. EITHER WAYS I HOPE YOU ENJOY <3

you can request from my prompt list

this is my master list

players/drivers I write for

84-“as much as I love listening to your native language, you know I can’t understand shit.”

warning: this is google translated spanish

"why wouldn't you let me help you" Jude whined, following y/n around in the kitchen

"Jude. I've told you this a million times before. I cannot fuck up tonights dinner. this is the first time your parents are coming over here to Madrid and you helping me isn't gonna be the best choice" y/n repeated, sighing at the boy who was following her around

"that's really offensive" Jude mumbled, sitting down on the countertop

y/n knew he wasnt actually sad, but she was right about everything she said. Jude wasn't the best help in the kitchen

"you can help me by bringing me the ingredients when I want them" she suggested making Jude's face lit up

he nodded excitedly, jumping off the counter and standing next to her.

She started preparing the dinner with Jude standing next to her. The soup she was preparing needed salt and needed to be stirred well and she shouldn't stop the stirring

"Jude. salt please" she said, urging him to rush

He grabbed the jar of 'salt' and gave it to her. y/n, without looking, grabbed a big amount of it and put it over the soup, and continued her stirring

"thanks babe" she said, smiling at Jude. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head, and stood beside her until she finished everything for the dinner

"Denise. Mark. its so good to see you guys again" y/n said, hugging the couple in front of her

"come on in. Jude is just getting dressed" she led them to the living room

"of course he's still late. I wonder if you're the one who waits for him when getting reafy for a date" his dad joked, making the three of them laugh

"I heard that"Jude said from behind, annoyance evident in his voice, but a smile was plastered on his face because of seeing his parents after a few months

He gave them both a hug, and they sat down for a chat

"I actually helped y/n with dinner" Jude said proudly, making his parents laugh

"oh no. how did that go?" Denise asked, making Jude put an offended hand on his chest

"it was alright. I didn't let him do anything beside bringing me the ingredients" y/n said, making his mother laugh

"that was a good choice. when he was young I had to beg him to leave me cook alone" she said, making her husband and y/n laugh

"that's not true" Jude gasped, making them laugh harder

"enough talking about how bad Jude is in cooking, how about I serve you guys dinner?" y/n got up, leading them to the dining room

She went to the kitchen, with Jude following her

"that wasn't nice" he pouted, making her chuckle

"well...we were only speaking the truth" she shrugged, placing her hands on his chest, his hands placing themselves on her hips

He just laughed, and leaned down, pressing his lips on hers. Before he had the chance to deepen the kiss, y/n moved back and pushed him away

"stop your parents are waiting for the food" she turned, grabbing the pot of soup

"take this. and I'll bring the rest" she gave it to Jude

They all sat down for dinner. y/n filling up the bowls of soup for the parents

Denise had the first sip of her soup, before she started coughing hard

"everything okay?" y/n asked, worried something might had happened to her

"honey. I think you're mistaken between the salt and sugar" she said, making y/n turn to look at Jude. He had an awkward look on his face when his girlfriend glared at him

"you gave me the sugar instead of the salt?" y/n asked, making Mark laugh out loud at his son

"how was I supposed to know its sugar instead of salt?" Jude said defensively

"Joder, Jude, ponemos la sal en el tarro azul y el azúcar en el tarro rosa." y/n said in an angry tone. before realizing she was speaking spanish instead on english (fucking hell Jude. we put the salt in the blue jar and the sugar in the pink jar)

Jude looked at her dumbfounded, before speaking up

“as much as I love listening to your native language, you know I can’t understand shit.” he said, making his parents chuckle

y/n let out a sigh, rubbing her temple before turning to his parents

"I'm really sorry guys. I promise he won't be entering the kitchen again" she glared at Jude

Denise shook her head and said everything was fine

"I think the rest of the food has sugar instead of salt too, how about we order some pizza?" Jude said with an awkward smile

They all laughed, before nodding

"let me do the talking. I don't think your spanish is good enough to order a normal pizza" y/n joked, grabbing the phone from Jude's hand

[savemeafruitjuice]

Tickletober Day 24- Joke

This is a Rise fic! Yet another excuse to torment a certain blue turtle. Also, how could I not write Leo for this day's prompt?

Lee: Leo

Ler: Donnie

TW!: SWEARING!

"Waitwaitwaitwait! Just one more!"

"No, Nardo. These are awful, and I don't want to hear it."

"Pleease just listen to this one!"

The softshell sighed, squaring his shoulders and turning to face his brother from where he stood at the entrance of his lab. Leo pushed his way further into the room, earning a glare from Donnie, and smirked. "Okay, what do you get when you put a spiderweb on an ear of corn?"

"Ugh. What?"

"A cob-web!"

"..."

Leo rolled his eyes, walking all the way over to his twin and spinning his chair around to face him. Donnie only crossed his arms, staring blankly back. "Leo. That has got to be the worst thing you've ever said to me."

The sword-user made a sound of shock, shaking the other by the shoulders. "How can you say that? That was an amazing joke! Not my fault you lost your funny bone.." Donnie raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"I'm just saying, you don't think anything's funny. Just watch." The slider backed up a bit, clearing his throat. "Why did the ghost cross the road?" At the lack of response, Leo smiled to himself and answered his own question. "He wanted to return from the other side!"

"Not amusing, Leon."

Leo poked at the purple-themed turtle's torso. "It is so! What, that doesn't tickle your funny bone even a little bit?" Donnie paused. 'Tickle, huh? That's how he wanted this to go? Fine by him.'

The shorter stood, catching his twin's attention. "You know what? Because you are so insistent on humour, I'll give you something worth laughing about." Leo's demeanor slowly changed from that of a cocky sibling, to one of a terrified mutant who had no idea as to what was coming his way.

Donnie had lunged at the other, grabbing him by the sides and brought the both of them to the ground. Leo grunted as his shell collided with the floor, trying to use his knees to push the softshell away. "HeHEY- What're yo-haAAH!"

Donnie sat on his brother's waist, almost roughly kneading into his ribs. The slider screeched, trying to scramble away, but the weight on his body limited his movement. Donnie let out an "Oomf" as he was kneed in the back, though his battle shell ensured he wasn't injured.

"Hey, I don't appreciate you hitting me!"

Leo bucked his hips, pushing desperately at his twin's arms. "Ihi doHOn't SCaHAHAre!" The scientist gasped dramatically, earning a snort from his sibling. "Stop it with the puns! I'm done with you!"

The blue-masked teen tossed his head to the side, screaming and thrashing when a hand latched onto his thigh. "Hah! SNRK- Haha-FuhuuAHAHAH! DOHOHONNIE NOHOHOO!"

"Donnie yes~ You know, you've been getting on my nerves lately.."

Leo shrieked as his inner thigh was scribbled at, unable to do much more than bang his fist on the ground and take it. "STAHAHAHAP! DEEHEEE, I CAHAN'T!"

"And I think you're dum-dum jokes are the last straw.. How about you stop telling puns for three days, and then I'll stop."

"WIHIHITCHFUHUL THIHINKIHIHING- WaiIHIIHIHIIT, SNRT- WAIT IHI'M SAHAHAAAHARRY!"

"What did I just say? Looks like someone can't keep their mouth shut."

Tears trickled down the slider's eyes, the turtle convulsing as the bottom of his leg was scribbled on. He had lost most of his strength, Donnie not even moving an inch anymore, just tickling away at his poor thighs.

"Do you promise to stop?"

Leo had to piece together the question through his cackling, but nodded frantically as soon as he understood, screeching loudly. "YEHEHEES! SHIHIT, IHI GIHIHIVE SNRK- UHUP! DEEHEHEE!"

Donnie smirked, pinching at the sensitive limb for a couple more seconds before letting go, sliding off of his brother, and sitting beside him. The blue-themed turtle snorted, pushing at his twin through residual laughter. "Ihi.. I reheally hahate you.."

The softshell rolled his eyes, a smile being put back on his face as he wriggled his fingers in the other's face, resulting in a high-pitched squeal. "Just remember what you promised, because I'll tickle you worse if you so happen to forget."

Leo's cheeks tinted pink, and he rolled away from his brother, then sitting up and crossing his arms defiantly. "Whatever.."

Yeah, there was no way he was going longer than an hour without annoying his favorite twin again.

[ms-nesbit]

hey! could u be able to do a jason todd x reader headcanon (where jason is a bit romantic) pleease?

I know I write Jason as aromantic, but tbh I'm willing to stray from my norm a bit. I hope you enjoy!

Jason Todd x Reader Headcanons

Warning: intoxicating fluff and feelings, reader has a traumatic past, mention of trauma and abuse

he doesn't fall often, but for you, he fell hard

literally speaking - when he first laid eyes on you, he fell off the rooftop and barely caught himself on a flagpole

you two have a secret language to communicate in

and often use it when at Wayne galas or in public

"Skolt" is a keyword either of you use when trauma is flaring up and you feel like you're drowning in it

and if you're drowning in the past, jason drapes an arm around you like a fire blanket and shields you;

if he's drowning in his memories, you hold his hand delicately, reminding him that he isn't a killer, isn't a ghost, isn't a distant echo of his mistakes

he cooks for you

in fact, some of your fondest memories are in the kitchen together

holidays are spent together, isolated from the world

where you take turns being little spoon, and jason finally undoes his social mask

he doesn't say i love you verbally, but instead shows it with his actions (soft kisses on the temple, arm pulling you close to him, a squeeze of the waist)

and you, apart from dick and steph, are the only one who sees him cry (which he mostly does in his sleep)

and you've both lost sleep keeping the other safe

when you have a nightmare, he puts you on top of him, head on his chest;

alternatively, when jason has a nightmare, you whisper in his ear to ground him, waking him up, and letting his head rest on your heart

jay isn't excessively protective or obsessive, but he does have his moments

especially when a toxic person reentered your life and tried sabotaging it (in which case jason sent his henchmen to threaten them)

he loves watching the addams family with you, sometimes referencing it with a tender "cara mia" and "querida" and a gentle kiss on your knuckles

after calling him "mr darcy" as a joke, jason made a point of telling you that darcy, along with most literary men in classic romantic literature, are toxic, albeit obsessive or invasive

(and that was when you knew you were in love)

[boxwinebaddie]

hi nina! do you have any other songs that you think cd would cover? i just really liked new perspective and i think ur music taste is rlly cool :3

d'awww!!! hi there, sweet pea! <3

tysm for your ask but, before you start reading ( because this message got VERY long ), i just want to let everyone know that i used this ask to explain some Very Complex Ravenstan/Callgirl Fake Dating Lore...so if you are interested in that, it starts towards the middle of this ask...it's a lil chaotic, but i tried to make it as interesting and clear as i could! no obligation to read, ofc, as always, but i did want to preface this ask with that info, so you know this one is

*Secretly An Important RM Lore Ask.*

but back to what i was doing ( screaming ):

— because aAAAAAAAAAA!!!! c': <333

i am not even joking, you guys, despite the fact that my fic is based almost entirely around Music, i avoided answering music-related asks for so LONG bc i was legitimately so nervous about it being negatively perceived or read for filth on here, which, i Know, is silly because it's my fanfic and what i say goes, i can't change my music taste anymore than i can change the way my dna loops, but...idk.

like, i feel like A Lot of people are self conscious abt their music taste, but my social anxiety/inferiority complex can get so gnarly that i actually get Nervous when people ask me about what kind of music i like and i never EVER sit shot gun in cars bc i am...scared to aux. :/

iiiiiit's...That Bad. ( nina, please get therapy. )

i also feel like people in this fandom can get Very Intense about what kind of music they associate with the boys/what music the boys listen to and are FRIGHTENINGLY QUICK to rip people to shreds over opinions that don't align with theirs or aren't obscure or 'cool' enough.

bc of that, i try to be Very Lowkey on this blog because the larger part of this fandom and the criminally insane level at which they escalate petty fights over canon/fanon, like to the point that they are frothing at the mouth and start doxing people...gives me Extreme Stress. which, in my line of work, i actually CANNOT have happen.

tldr; i want absolutely NO part of it and like my lil corner.

thank you for keeping it Safe. <3

AND THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING MY MUSIC TASTE!!! EEEE c: <3 THAT IS SO REASURRING AND HEALING FOR ME TO HEAR!!!! MUSIC TO MY EARS, BABY! LITERALLY! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THAAAANK YOU! *holds you* *squishes you* *kisses ur head*

istg, if nothing else the fact that i have a bunch of you rocking out to New Perspective and positively associating it with my fanfic means that i have done my job and that's a legacy i'm willing to die with.

i'm being so serious, i feel like if rm was a tv show, it would play as the outro to every episode...but like a nice, soft, raw version w/ ravenstan on acoustic guitar to contrast the hard ass cd cover of style by tswizz that i think would open every episode...smh, nina, please, pleease stop imagining your unfinished, crack-fanfic as a netflix og series. >.>

BUT!!! okay!!!! in vein of trying not to worry about the perception of my music taste or what other people want from me...tHIS IS A KIND OF CONTREVERSIAL TAKE BUT I TIED IT TO THE PLOT, OKAY?

so, as a little nina lore and for context, when i was in elementary school around like 4th/5th grade, i was listening to like a lot of early y2k bangers, ig. dirty little secret by all american rejects, hey there delilah by the plain white tees, girlfriend by avril lavigne core, etc.

( just to make you giggle, i also had a ps2 and there was a series of video games called singstar that were some off shoot of rockband/gh that had mics you plugged directly into the system...pls note my high score on sk8r boi really should be put in the guinness world records, like if you held a gun to my head and told me to sing that song, i not only would i fuck it up but i would LIVE, baby! better luck next time! )

...it was also around early disney channel times ( the disney channel games with the team colors...that was my OLYMPICS, bitch! ) and i had this Disney Pop Hits Vol...1? i think? cd i used to play on the prehistoric radio thing in my room and my favorite song on it was...

pop princess by the click five.

AND I KNOW!!! I KNOOOOOW!!!! controversial take, but i am sorry, THAT SONG FUCKS!!!! THAT SONG IS SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!

and i feel like when ravenstan was fake dating call girl during the great hate south park embark, cd covered it: i am picturing a less finger-bang, btr, disney channel esqe sound and more of a pop-punk, pedal to the metal, electric guitar type, edgy rockstar boy typa beat.

but Yes, i think ravenstan covered it or idk i really think that it was made FOR call girl. and it was BAD ASF. i also think bc tcf wrote that song about hannah montana ( iconic ), and bc call girl is basically the whole internet's e-girl bubblegum pop princess in my fanfic, it just...

makes...Sense.

am i making sense? do we see the vision? aka rs in his lil pants w/ the ripped red and black flannel tied around his waist, fallin to his knees, singing his heart out, pointing at her, winking? PPL DIIIIIIIIIED.

and by people, i do mean jerseykyle n bebe who were MAD AS HELL,

-- but also tapping their toe...smh.

it was both very cool and very annoying. RIP.

( ...do i have jersey and bebe make out during the pop princess call girl tribute as mlm/wlw solidarity? HEEEELP ICOOONIC *jk vibrating with stress and anger vc* barbara, i need you to do somethin for me don't ask questions, i'll explain later, It's Important sdks MESSY! )

BUT OKAY!!!! SPEAAAAKING OF THEM AND THAT AND CALLGIRL AND RAVEN OF CRIMSON DAWN DATING!!!! i wanted to give you some lore and some spoilery plot about that/them bc it is burning a Hole in my brain...i must discuss r.s. and call girl becaaaause

~Its....Complicated.~

ANYWAYS!!!! IMPORTANT PLOT TIME!!!!

so, for more context: i am currently working on another ask abt how ike found out that jerseykyle/ravenstan used to be dating and during that conversation in kyle's room about three days into the sp trip, CONCURRENTLY somewhere Else, ravenstan and call girl are getting ready to do some flashy PR thing like go on a date/get din, idk.

BUT RIGHT BEFORE IT: ravenstan and call girl are alone together, and ravenstan, who, i am not even kidding you, is sooo fucking Pissed that this is EVEN HAPPENING because kyle is super mad at him, was like you are Actually Dead to me, WILL NOT TALK TO HIM...

( which without spoiling too much -- is actually why ike can tell that somethin Fucked Up is happening because j.k. is super aggressive and loud and is not afraid to Fuck Your Shit Up...but has not laid a FINGER on raven of crimson dawn...and actually, seems to not even want to be Near him, barely acknowledges his existence, leaves rooms that he is in and is Radio Silent around him...WHICH IS TWICE AS SCARY AS J.K. YELLING AND TRYING TO KILL YOU. so, uhh, Not fucking...Good, you guys. ike was like...this is...not fucking normal. )

but again, he cannot tell kyle what is going on bc he might actuuuuallly get MURDERED??? uh???

anyways, in whatever secure, secluded space rae/cg are in ( its somewhere private, i pictured a dressing room of sorts, like a makeup trailer, somewhere they have to take pics ) stan is Extremely Straight Up with her and says something to the effect of:

"i have no idea what you think this is or what you want this to be or what they told you, but we are not dating and this...is NOT. Real."

and call girl ( aka wendy whose identity is a secret to EVERYONE, No One has seen the bottom half of call girl's face...Ever. she changes her wigs everyday, they are Very Elaborate and is always in a very high tech face mask that covers her face from the nose down and uses a voice modulator to mask her speaking voice...a mysterious queen ) oddly enough seems completely relieved by this statement and is like

*squints*

"don't worry, Emo Boy. feeling is mutual. like, no offense, but you are seriously...not my type. Ew. trust me, i don’t want to do this either but,

— I Have To."

wHICHSHDLSKDHLSD SHE GUTTED HIM HELP. he was *gigantic stan slow eye blinks in shock* like "right, okay, Ow. that was...Mean." kshdlksdls but then was "--but i am glad we...agree. i Also HAVE To. not because of publicity, it's...Deeper than that...i can't really ta--"

to which call girl, locking eyes with him, dead seriously, lowering her modulated voice is like...

"it's tenorman, right?

He Threatened You."

and r.s, gagged! Again!!! is like

"holy shit, he THREATENED /YOU/ TOO?!?!"

and call girl nods very slowly and starts to say

"he told me if i didn't do it he would..."

and rs with the same kind of mounting horror whispers

" — Kill Everyone You Love And Care About?"

which, at this point, folks, they are both like...

...WOAH.

bc they realize they are both stuck in the same torture chamber together, they Both got cornered into this really elaborate ruse and have to keep it up in order to keep the people that they love Safe and it's...A Lot. it...really is. but it's also sort of freeing and cathartic to knowing you are not alone going through what is pretty much the worst thing that has ever happened to you in your entire life.

i also feel like...there is this natural bond. this Energy between them. like they understand/see each other and feel...safe with one another.

and call girl, guard still up, dips a toe in uncharted water, and goes:

"well...since were partners in crime now and have to live a lie in public...i think we at least owe it to each other in private...

...to be Real."

she offers this bc they have reached an understanding, an impasse, a standstill, a draw of sorts. and there is a thick tension...as well as this crescendoing vulnerability that hangs the air with her ultimatum as they stare warily at each other, strangers, both wearing still wearing their masks, call girl physically in hers and stan in his metaphorical one doing the dark, raspy smoke and mirrors raven voice bc he is...not sure about her in the same way that she is...

...still not sure abt him.

( they are basically that one spiderman meme where both the spidermans are holding each other at gun point. ) and it's a huge Risk to indulge her request, but again...they both have everything to lose.

and no one...but Eachother.

so he indulges her very tentatively and counters:

"alright...then, tell me something Real, call girl."

to which she nods, closes her eyes and goes. "fine. my real name..."

call girl trails off, reaches up to tap the voice modulator on her mask, turns it off, reaches out her rhine-stoned, sequined, hot pink faux leather gloved hand out to shake his and in her real voice, says,

" — Is Wendy."

and this...is a Very BIG Deal.

again, no one has ever heard call girl's voice before. no one knows what her name is or Anything about her. she doesn't even preform live, she does virtual concerts and is basically this sort of mysterious, ai, vocaloid/miku internet personality that is very Carefully and elaborately Coded and ENCRYPTED to keep her identity Safe.

so her turning off her voice mod and speaking to stan, not as a fictional, larger than life computer-generated celebrity, but as a human being...is massive.

it's also very...Comforting to ravenstan.

who has not been himself...for a very long time. and it's not smart, it's not a good idea, but he decides to trust her and in turn,

in his real voice, says,

"stan. my name...is Stan.

It's Nice To Meet You, Wendy."

he shakes her hand and she shakes his.

she says, "it's nice to meet you too, stan." :)

and it feels...Nice. it should feel wrong, what they're doing, but it feels right, it feels fucking amazing to stop Preforming. she knows his name, she's seen his face...but realizes he still has not seen Hers and running on adrenaline, bolstered by a rare surge of bravery, chinks at her armor, or mask rather, and makes a motion.

literally.

bc he reaches up towards her face and goes, "oof. it's nice to hear your human voice; the dystopian robot voice was lowkey espantoso."

he laughs, it's genuine and super ugly, god bless him. so you Know he's being really real when he asks "but...if it's all the same to you. if were going to speak freely; i'd like to...see Who i am speaking to.

so can i, please, uh...see your Face? your whole face.

your...Real face."

and oof. this...is a little nerve-wracking for wendalends.

she's neeeever taken the mask off. ever. Ever. EVER.

For A-n-y-o-n-e.

but...she might never have the chance again and it is...really stuffy under there. so she Agrees and lets stan remove her face apparatus.

ravenstan does say "Wowza." HDLKSHDSl amazing.

he's also my boyfail king and says something very fucking stupid like

"sorry, you're REALLY Pretty. i was worried might look like deadpool under there." she smiles, it's beautiful. no one has seen her real smile before as call girl and thanks him. she goes on to apologize and is like

"thank you, stan. you're really sweet and i...am sorry i said 'ew'. it's not because you're ugly, you're kind of...Cute for a guy, actually? you have really nice bone structure and very kind eyes. it's just, when i said you weren't my type i meant Boys. in...general."

her voice shakes a little, she's never admitted this out loud before, not even to her girlfriend. but she trusts stan with the nice bone structure and dumb ugly laugh and very kind eyes, so she says

"i'm a...Lesbian.

i'm also Seeing Someone at the moment.

It's Complicated."

and stan is like, skhdlsd way too excited to talk about kyle, and is like

"okay, whew! i'm ALSO seeing someone! or well..." then remembers and is like oooof "well...i Was...seeing someone i guess. it's..."

my man is Depressed and is trying to change the subject because he realizes he actually can't talk about kyle because not only is cartman going to kill him if he does...he is also gonna freakin K!ll Himself because he's actually so sad that kyle currently hates his GUTS.

so he sighs, echoing her and admits "It's...Complicated." :/

he wants to hear something nice though, something real...and nice. because he is a romantico king. who believes more than anything...

in Love.

so he asks her what her girlfriend's name is. <3 :')

annnd i think she is About to say bebe's name...but realizes if she does, it will completely blow her cover.

like her ACTUAL Cover.

because stan knowing her first name and her what she looks like under the mask is one thing...but the second she says bebe's name, it's going to reveal that she is kyle's bebe's wen/wendyl which...is

Meeeeessy.

but she reasons ( as an intelligent, rational queen ) that regardless of how messy things get, her and stan are in this mess together and that the best time to make a mess...is when you are Coming Clean.

still...this is...very sensitive information. she’s not sure how he's gonna take it and needs some sort of collateral.

so she states her terms.

and call girl, who stan now knows is wendy, but not bebe's current girlfriend ( yet ) says "okay. i am going to tell you something, but in order to do it. i have to tell you...Everything. in exchange, i need YOU to tell me Everything. i am going to give you One Chance to do so willingly. if not...i do not care how untraceable you Think you are, i am very familiar with the dark web and i will find out everything i Need to know about you. and do with that information...What. I. Please.

...so /please./ promise me you won't tell anyone about what i am about to tell you...and then, tell me...stan...Something Real."

stan agrees and wendy goes into everything. comes out as trans to him and explains her origin story. ( i started to write everything in this ask but it got too long, i'll tell you all about call girl/wendy in another ask i have a couple in the box i can use, haha. ) she tells him pretty much everything ( it's a big therapy session in there ) up until this point, gaydhd ravenstan...manages to understand

Everything.

and when she finishes, true to the deal, she gently volleys the ball into his court, ( they are friends now, aw <3 ) and softly goes:

"okay...Your Turn."

and so ravenstan...who is Deeply Inspired by wendy...Wowza. he seriously thinks she is so fucking cool and ALSO A TRANS ICON??? HELLO? he feels v seen and heard and safe, so uh...jesus christ, he grabs wendy's hands, takes a veeeeeery deep breath and goes,

"so, i...

— Am DEAD."

LKHDSHSDLKDS HEEELP KSHLKDS

annnnnnd proceeds to tell her everything.

and i do mean...Everything.

they talk for the rest of the night basically, having this heart to heart, at the same time that, unbeknownst to ravenstan, jerseykyle and ike are also having a heart to heart....wendy and stan are platonic besties, they agree to keep each other's secrets as t4t legends stuck in cartman's fucked up marionette hell together, they agree to keep their crazy charade up while they try and find a way out/back to bebe and kyle, take some v convincing publicity pictures together ( i do think jk and bebe see them and want to die So Bad, it's not funny...bebe/jk or wendy/rs...choose your doomed broship. Fml. )

and that's...

Your Crazy Uncle Nina RM Lore Drop For The Night!

i hope you enjoyed it, haha. <3 please feel free to drop me a line in the ole ask box about it and ofc, as always, to ask me anything you would like! if you're still with me...after all this time. thank you so much for supporting me and enjoying my content.

it means...Everything to me.

and in writing something fake...

thank you all:

for being my Something Real. <3 c':

-uncle nina, callgirl/raven superfan

[lesbian-nautica]

cheetor/ravage hc pls pleease pleeease

Catboy boyfriends 🐈😺 ❤️

Cheetor doesn't like it when people dismiss him for being young, Ravage hates it when people dismiss him for being a cat, and there was a time that they had a pretty nasty fight followed by the intense realization that they were not actually mad at the other catboy. They went to cat therapy with Dr. Glit

Cheetor prefers being a cat, just by a tiny bit, so getting to just. Be a cat is great.

"I'm tired. Carry me?" And its just a cassette held gently in the mouth

They meet up in a place they refer to as "the litterbox" because they both think this joke is stupid and the place is a super decrepit shitty building. If anyone else ever referred to it by that name they would tear the building down, but it's perfect climbing real estate.

They are a more casual thing. They know each other well enough to know that they just aren't really ready for or into the idea of living together, and they both have busy lives, so they meet when they can.

IDW Cheetor does consider joining the party bus that is the lost light, occasionally.

Earthspark Cheetor as a cool new Terran that meets Ravage and they fall in cat love and this is how we get more cassette content in ES

Cyberverse Ravage straight up ignored the border and would just. Jump it and go bring his big cat bf a dead robomouse.

Can you fuck ing imagine a beast wars ravage. Can you.

IDW Ravage au where he doesn't die and gets torn in half and then goes "I need to get my life together" and moves to sanctuary station permanently and Cheetor also moves there for another reason because Cybertron is hell and they don't even realize the other is on the same ship for a WEEK. it takes Cosmos directly asking point blank like "i thought?? You two liked each other?? Are you fighting" for them to notice

If Rav is being moody and hiding in Soundwave Cheets sometimes will go loaf on top of the dock and lock all the cassettes in. Soundwave does not move him, he is a cat owner and has the curse of being a sentient bed now.

[corellonsblessing]

A BLACK OUT/SLAM POEM based on the teletubbies (tv) tag on ao3

TRIGGER WARNING_MILK.

stray dogs literature clubs, the school for good and evil. ink sans angel—stranger things

horror sans guy—don’t hug me i’m scared. don’t hug me i’m scared, (don’t hug me i’m scared.)

free form plot twists. tragedy/comedy. alternate universe—high school. alternate universe—music.

the chaos unfolds each day, pristine, centuries ago, fight the many.

post divorce, living together, implied drug use, alcoholism. snippets from the end of the show, renunion, although it takes place a couple years before. we were the stars (but space was a void) by ponfarrpussyqueen.

corporate clash, bug, duck, the guardian pest, the prince, macarena, kissing, crack, as a joke, boys kissing, regret everything

underage julius caesar, emo napoleon, mating bond, tentacle dick, magic healing cock, holy water, holy roman empire, kissing in the rain, the battle of waterloo, a true story.

crossover, insanehappymealgiver, original character, original, simulator, mentioned, i’m at my limit, intentionally bad, wearing the other character’s skin, start praying because this sure ain’t holy, my dad went to get the milk because of this, sent to the void, put me in a coffin, rancid hope’s peak

we greet you with good luck and prosperity.

we love gay anal and lesbian smut and we hope you do too.

diminishing flame, not for kids, you’ll cry so hard you won’t have eyes, not sorry, commit a clarity, vaporized, freeform, sewer rat

2020 presidential election, spit as lube.

chaos bear, crack, crack, crack, has religious trauma, gay, gay, lesbian, lesbian sex, orgy, moist naked bodies rainbow is jesus, sex during tornado, this is NOT. finished.

there she was, in a new world. guess she’ll play the cards she’s dealt.

jesus confessed, sin shock, tears streaming down her face. “i fucked your sister.” crack. treated seriously, why did i write this. gay best friend—i can see that (i’m safe here.)

why did i write this!

crack. treated seriously.

slowly losing our sanity, we die.

crack, treated seriously. the moon of hope and the sun of despair LET IT GOOOOO LET IT GOOO.

crack, treated seriously, blue balls, orphan account

his little purse. what was once an inside joke is now taken seriously. crack. crack. fluff and crack. angst and crack. i am a man of my word, and i speak for the people.

a million other projects to complete

crack, crack, i dont know what’s going on, we’re idiots so we made this

it starts out all nice then it all goes downhill

satan, crack, this is a joke, please help me, please don’t hate me, i’m so sorry, i cannot think of anything else, please don’t read this. but. do, the author regrets nothing, the author regrets everything, why do i still exist? (discontinued, at least until further notice.) by even moderner prometheus

forbidden love, dead dove:do not eat.

so small in the midst of it all. rolling with the weird and unusual, traumatized teens to comfort, and an important decision to make

i came up with this, i will go down with this

i can’t believe i write this, why did i write this, i wrote this while listening to mother mother, sleep deprived, wrote this instead of sleeping, the guardian witnessed sex and is now scarred, touching, addiction, slut shaming

insufferable with apologies to all my followers, hell (literal), sewage

i got problems, so fucking random, pulled out of my ass, hard to explain, hard to word, each chapter will be posted, find me on wattpad,

near death experiences, major illness, declarations of love, love confessions, eating, marking, delay/denial, knotting, marking, mating bites, overstimulation, based on taylor swift songs, missing spleen

help me pleease, im scared, why did i write this?, just this really chill person who wants to take over the world, humanized teletubbies, my friend and i wrote this over the summer

you better not forgive me for this, im serious, vaginal fingering, a hushed voice, the contact making her shiver.

may your heart stay strong. torture, vomiting, blood and gore, self-indulgent, touch starved guardian, all characters are adults, electricity, suicidal thoughts, medical inaccuracies,

and yet… you lie again. i like noo-noo i hope he explodes, don’t show up

crack. i am so sorry. not in detail but it could’ve been so count your blessings

gods this can’t end well, good parent, to two children, bad parent, to the other one

IM SO SRRY BUT THIS WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD, HAHA SUFFER,

attempt at humor, death, gore, i don’t even know, i’m so sorry, you have been warned, i posted this for my brother’s birthday

plague, companionship, through the fields we ran

it quickly turns into anti-demon propaganda

a play in one act, post-war, no sex, no killing

the prize of reading this is to meet god

help my poor soul this is a disgrace but it was my first fic so i refuse to orphan it, and the teletubbies followed

help, i was forced to write this and i’m sorry, i don’t even know what to call this monster, the southern pansy, aziphrale, the prince of hell, and the archangel gabriel

angst, satire, this is not serious, it’s meant to be funny

DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, IT WAS WRITTEN BY THREE HIGH THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS.

this is what you’ve been waiting for and hoping would never come

hearing voices, broken bones, emotional manipulation,

live, work, play, a simple life, protected, until a stranger comes.

i can’t give you a summary of the plot. that would ruin the story.

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part one)

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part seventeen.)

let me know if i forgot to tag anything!!

blame the painkillers. i blame the painkillers.

[snowsinterlude]

savage hearts. (coriolanus x reader)

c.w: cheating (not on coryo), modern!coryo, breeding kink, overstimulation, dacryphilia, petnames (doll, princess, baby), recording with consent, toxic relationship implied, pregnancy kink implied

coriolanus always had some sort of soft spot for you. the way you talked with your boyfriend, saying you loved him and that you would marry him, then would gag on his cock saying that you loved his dick more than your boyfriend's.

he loved taking photos and videos of you- your sweet pussy engulfing his entire cock as you cried on it, saying you loved him, saying you loved him and his dick more than you loved your own boyfriend.

"cory- please, keep going! pleease!" you cried, eyes shut closed as he thrusted deep inside you, his dick kissing your g spot so good you scratched his back entirely, your own piece of art on his skin.

and of course, the next day he would show it up to festus and brag about it, chuckling, smiling and laughing at how your clueless boyfriend congratulated him.

"look at what she did to me last night- god, this girl looks like she haven't had dick in a decade" it was true. your dear boyfriend festus couldn't fuck you like he did. never.

"poor girl. who's dick is she sitting on for her to be that unsatisfied?" festus joked, chuckling alongside the others.

"a loser's dick, that's for sure." snow answered, laughing at festus's talking shit about himself obliviously. how cute. he wouldn’t be laughing if he knew that the patterns drawn on his back were made by you. his sweet, lovely, dear girlfriend. who was always drooling on coriolanus's dick and keeping festus fist fucking himself, saying you were saving yourself for marriage.

god, it was hilarious.

until it wasn't hilarious anymore.

until he noticed himself being too kind with you- giving you aftercare. god, he never did that! and fucking you in missionary just to hear you saying "i love you, coryo!"? that's not something he's used to do. but with you, he would, jist so he could say it back. and if you asked, his answer would be "it's just.. it happens in these moments. specially in missionary."

but then he's fucking you too kindly, he's kissing you like he loves you- he's bathing you aftercare only to wash your hair and rub your scalp.

"c-coryo! cum inside me, please" you begged, and he arched his brows almost immediatly, he already had put the condom on.

"you sure, baby?" he asked, his hands grabbing your waist in such a lovely kind manner. thumbs rubbing on your sides, fucking you slowly.

"yes! yes, i wanna- wanna have your kids, cory!" you said. and it somehow snapped something inside him. made him obsessed with the idea of impregnating you.

but it got worse. he started caring more about you. fucking you on the dorm he shared with sejanus and festus, specially on festus' bed. he was always somehow watching you, always telling the teachers to pair you both up when it was supposed to have an assignment, and then..

then he saw you crying. festus's fought with you because you didn't want to have sex with him and it was enough- more than enough. festus got in a fight from what you've heard, but you were too hurt to go see him- so you were gone to see coryo instead.

sweet coryo, always comforting you with his words and his dick, kissing your lips even if you told him not to because it would be cheating. he thought it was cute how you thought that kissing was cheating but bouncing on his dick and beg for more wasn't. pathetically cute.

when festus came back to school, he had a black eye and a broken noise, matching with his busted lip. all of it was coriolanus's own artwork.

he kissed your cheek, fondling your boobs and pinching your nipples with nothing more than pleasure and care. he made sure to photograph it.

he filmed you taking your dick into him. and of course he had to be slow and kind, making you mewl and squirm under him while he made sure you'd feel all oh his inches in your sweet pussy.

he had an entire collection of videos of him fucking you. and of course festus's phone was full of them on the next morning; he was laughing until he got to a vidso of you sucking coryo's dick, and even if it was making his dick twitch, he never felt more humiliated in his entire life.

"c'mon, princess." he smiled, kissing your tears as his dick slapped your clit multiple times, preparing himself to enter inside you.

"c-coryo, s-stop dickslappin' my pussy please" you mewled, terribly wet. you came to him again- your boyfriend was being a jerk again, calling you a whore and humiliating you, and of course coryo made sure to let his friends know about that. not only did festus had a small dick, he was also getting his anger out on a sweet girl like you.

"mmhm, i'm sorry doll. promise i'll stop." he said, kissing your lips while your nails passed through his back when his dick got into you. "keep being a good girl for me, okay? don't bother about festus. i'll take care of him."

and of course he did. not only did he took care of festus, he also took care of you right after, buying you chocolates and some character you told him was your favorite. he would never admit it was fully his idea, though. for now, it was tigris's idea. and he would not admit he was in love with you.

[15ktherapy]

my sisters being annoying UNDER CUT TIME

it’s blabber time aight ?

I sleepy fornelije so many fucking hours I slept was so long hate that ahit it always makes me feel weird and in the bad way ummmmmm okay so. my dreams are always rlly like. okay lookaybe you know maybe you don’t but like in tv shows or whatever ppl will talk about being able to realize when ur dreaming and being able to do things. I don’t dream like that never have. iiiiiiiiiiiiiii. it’s like memories or being strung along in a story. nothing changes you aren’t rlly conscious what happens happens and that’s that. okay so dreams. don’t really remember tyem bc I woke up Hour s ago. ONE. BUGS. IN MY BATHTUB. big ones. TWO. people kept giving me money like hundred of dollars it’s like are you meaning to give me this much money ? what de fawk. anyway side note three dollar bills existed in my dreams. also 120 dollar bills. strange. anyway THREE!!! most the reason i put this under a cut. deals with my cats yknow the missing probably dead ones? those ones yeahX You’ve been warned. THREE. DEAD CAT. POOR LITTLE LEMMYS DEAD ON MY FAWKING LAWN. I blame this dream on my dad being annoying yesterday. umm all these dream were rehashings of big thinsg yesterday— 1bugs- my sisters got a literal bug collection she kept showing it off. umm also half I play hollow knight a lot and that’s bug game— 2money— talked about wtttibg a job yesterday with both my parents— 3DEAD CAT— so me my mom and my sis are all VERY SURE what happened to our cats (and another poor guys poor cat) and my dad is Really Fucking Annoying about it because he’s just like that in general. so me mom and sis all DISTINCTLY remember this one fucking guy making “jokes” about how he liked to poison cats and or eat them what fucking ever when we moved in SECEN YEARS AGO. and it’s like back then it’s like Okay Keep Cats Away From That Man. also Hopefullky He’s Joking. anyway so years later THREE FUCKING CATS GO MISSING IN THE SPAN OF A FUCKING WEEK. my cat maggie and another guys cat inky (maggie and inky seemed to be friends btw. very sad that this was only noticed AFTER THEY DISAPEERED.) anyway so they disappear at the same time, because of that I’m like DEAR GOD CAN WE PLEEASE FUCKING KEEP LEMONS INSIDE??? MAGGIES BEEN GONE FOR DAYS AND THIS OTHER CAT IS GONE TOO? we need to keep her inside. she does not stay inside. a week after maggie disappears so does my little lemmy. I spend hours looking outside for her and nearly rip my moms boyfriends head off. I take a shower and cry a lot. anyway. months later back to the present— we’re pretty sure what happened to our cats, eggs have been thrown, yada yada. so it’s yesterday my dads here he’s annoying some how cats come up again and we spend like ten minutes talking about our dead cats and how we know it was our neighbors and my dad being stupid like “it probably wasn’t though” IM AORRY WHO LIVES HERE??? and who doesn’t??? who’s cats died??? kys. anywya so I blame my dead cat dream and. THE ONE OTHER THING I REMEMBER FROM THAT DREAM SECTION “well looks like you were right.” I AM SO MAD. coughs anyway next time I see my dad in probably chewing him out for that

[esmericks]

New Additions... Again

Hello beautiful people! This is just a post to let you know that I am adding a few people to my request list. I have been getting loads of requests and I am honestly so grateful to every one of you. Unfortunately... I haven’t gotten around to any yet because I currently ( in literally two days ) am about to pass a huge exam period. Basically like SATS or whatever you guys have other there in the US. I am really stressed about it but I’ll survive. So when those are done I will get to writing right away. Thank you guys so much again for your patience and without further do, lets welcome these new people to our list! 

PS: I am only going to write for the characters the actors play not the actual actor/actress as I feel uncomfortable doing so. So if you would like to request a character played by an actor/ actress you love please do so BUT if you still send me the name of an actor/actress I will still take your request but will personally choose a character played by said actor/actress to fit the scenario.... *catches breath *

- Amanda Abbington aka John Watsons wife from BBC Sherlock (Yes... I have a crush on Mary from BBC Sherlock... and yes I would like to talk about it with a therapist.)

- Charlie Heaton (I like socially awkward nerds with big hearts)

- David Harbour (Currently re-watching ST and I love Giants so that's about all I have to say)

- Jason Momoa (Not really a personal favorite but a lot of people have been requesting him)

- Jessica Lange (Honestly surprised at how long it took me to find her hot, maybe its the AHS withdrawal that's making me feel this... anyways no regrets)

- Joe Keery (A lot of J’s... also I gotta give the people what they want)

- Kaya Scodelario (Started watching Skins a few weeks ago and just thought “Why not?”. Also this is for all you Maze Runner lovers)

- Oscar Isaac (I even suprised myself with this because for some reason my daddy issues have not yet picked up on Oscar Isaac... even though i have 60+ year old men on this list. I personally am more of a Pedro Pascal girl... but Leto Atreides... makes me get it. Also I’d totally bang his wife Lady Jessica but thats beside the point. Also Rebecca Ferguson has been on the list already for like 3 years)

- Paul Bettany (Are you even surprised?)

- Pheobe Waller Bridge (Underrated QUEEN. Also I have a thing for tall, dark haired, socially awkward, unconventionally attractive British people. *Cough* Sherlock Holmes aka Benedict Cumberbatch *Cough* *Cough* Severus Snape *Cough*)

- Sacha Baron Cohen (As I said I love giants)

- Winona Ryder (OH MY FUCKING GOD. How was she not on my list before. She is one of the most beautiful, inside and out people in the entire world. And Joyce Byers makes my mommy issues QUAKE. Not joking. Also underrated as FUCK.)

Anyways that's it for now. Hope you’re happy and request something for one of these people. Also If you would like me to add anyone else PLEASE ask me, honestly I love answering people. 

Also I NEED a Javier Bardem x reader fic cause he so SO FRICKIN HOT

ALSO fucking pray for me for my exams... cause I need it.

AND WAIT WAIT WAIT... Pleease ask me blurbs or little opinions on some of your character. Just like scenarios and mini imagines cause I love those... NSFW or not.

Thank you so much

Love you all

[obanaispy]

i love it when the sun sets ꕥ kyoujurou rengoku.

summary: y/n treats her pup boy to a nice gift as the sun sets on them.. (18+)

tags: pup!rengoku , sub!rengoku , overstimulation , marijuana usage , dom!y/n , oral sex , ‘forced’ orgasm

a/n: heyo! this is day 5 of nutvember. if you are new here, y/n will not be able to cum until the last day but luckily, rengoku is our focus here lmfaoo. pls reblog/like if u dig it! enjoy xx

the setting sun shined into the living room— directly hitting rengoku as he sat on the carpet. y/n was sprawled on the couch, bong in hand as she hacked up a lung from the previous hit— finally passing over the glass piece. “shit.. this is that shit i shouldn't be sharing with you” she joked to which rengoku just responded with a loud laugh as usual.

the bong got passed off between the couple until their eyes were low and throats too dry to speak. y/n eyed rengoku from the couch, scanning his form before leaping forward— tackling him. all he could do was let out an oof as the two started to roll around, playfully wrestling before he finally let her pin him down.

“you’ve never given up this easily”

rengoku was silent, hands rubbing along her sides before he lifted his head to kiss her passionately— the two exchanging tongues and spit as the kiss deepened. y/n’s lips moved down his jawline, parting to bite down on his neck which caused him to whimper slightly. these were the noises she loved to hear. the ones that confirmed that he was completely under her mercy. starting to travel down his bare chest, her tongue swirled and sucked against his nipples— legs straddling him as her crotched pressed against his own.

all rengoku could do was whimper and moan, cock hardening from her subtle grinds. “please..y/n” he breathed out, not sure what he was asking for completely. y/n hummed, raising a brow, “pleease? you know i can’t read minds pup.. talk to me..”. the nickname caused him to shudder, ghost ears cowering at the way she held him in her hand.

“please i.. want to feel your mouth around me..” he spoke clearly, hands moving to pull down his own bottoms and boxers. y/n laughed in amusement, dry mouth watering from his neediness. “mm?“ her brow quirked, eyes falling down to where his cock slowly rose, plopping against his belly button.

“happy to oblige, sweet thing.”

her mouth got to work, tongue paying attention to his leaking tip while her hands jerked the rest of him. all he could do was prop himself up on his elbows, mouth gaping as he resisted the urge to buck his hips. he wanted to be good for her.. to only move at her command. the control became harder as soon as she started to take more of him in, dick hitting the back of her throat. “holy fu..” he groaned, hips bucking once before planting back down.

y/n giggled around him, a hand coming to lightly press his hip down before she continued to deepthroat his cock— head bobbing at a steady pace. before rengoku knew it, he was shooting out a premature load, lips opening quickly to apologize before being cut off by a whine once he noticed she wasn’t stopping. her head continues to move, throat swallowing all he had to offer before it went in to ask for more. “y-y/n.. too sensitive” he murmured, hips still thrusting upwards into her mouth unknowingly.

coming up, she kissed his tip, brain lost in lust. “i think you have one more..”. quickly, she got back to work. one hand paid attention to his balls, squeezing and massaging as her tongue ran along the bottom of his cock—- drinking in how red his face had gotten. how his cock throbbed relentlessly against her tongue. rengoku brought a shaky hand up to her head, tugging her hair lightly as he bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood.

“you do this shit so.. so fucking good” he cursed, brain trying to wrap around how he was cumming yet again—- thoughts not as fast as the load that shot out. “t-thank you..wait..wait y/n please!” he cried out, realizing she wasn’t stopping. he wanted to please her but he felt like he would be shooting ghost loads by the time she was done. y/n pulled her mouth away, hand jerking his soaked dick as she came up to sloppily kiss him. all he could do was let out shaky breaths into her mouth, hips bucking into her pumps as his eyes watered.

“come on pup you got it.. you wanna be my good boy, right? my good boys gotta cum for me” y/n egged him on, pulling away to look at his feverish expression. rengoku nodded quickly, eyes focused on her—- “i’m your good boy i promise.. your good boy..” he repeated—- brain focused on making her proud and that alone. finally, he let out a cry as his cock came once again, eyes rolling back as y/n continued to milk him— cooing phrases of praise to guide him through. being sure that he was fully emptied, she brought her cum coated hand up to his mouth to which rengoku welcomed it eagerly— cleaning her digits. y/n chuckled, head moving down once again as she whispered words that sent chills down rengoku’s spine.

“i’m not done with you..”

[blossomkoushi]

jealous and possessive suna go brr

warning for slight voyeurism

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

“god- fuck! rin, please” your panting breath fogged up the car window in front of you, knees digging into the seat under you while suna’s hips snapped roughly against yours.

“that’s fuckin’ right, say my name” he growls, biting down on your exposed shoulder and gripping one of your arms, using it as leverage to fuck into you at a deeper and harder pace.

apparently going to visit osamu’s newly opened restaurant was a bad idea. suna’s grip had only tightened on your waist as you sat and talked to osamu, pleasantly chatting about work and your private lives. from your perspective, osamu was being his calm and kind self, easily making gentle and teasing jokes, causing you to giggle. for suna, however, osamu’s eyes wandered over your body and ignoring the possessive grip of suna’s hands on your body, casually making flirtatious jokes.

and suna wasn’t having any of it.

tension only rose until he snapped, standing up and gripping your arm, growling out that it was getting late and that the two of you needed to leave. he barely let you squeak out a “goodbye” before he tugged you out of the restaurant and into the backseat of his car. hence, the current situation.

“you’re mine, got it?” suna groaned against your ear, hot breath fanning your face. his rough hands moved all over your body, prying away the feeling of osamu’s eyes on your precious skin. his lips moved to your neck, sucking hard and scraping his teeth along the sore spot.

“o-only yours” his possessive ways were overwhelming, leaving you choking on your own breath, hastily begging him to not stop. “r-rin! rin, ‘m gonna cum, gonna cum”

“good baby, cum. cum for me.” his thrusts only sped up, grunting out deep praise until the coil in your tummy snapped, shaking in his hold as your orgasm hit. “that’s it, good. only cum for me.”

“y-yes! yes, fuck” your voice got more high-pitched as you spoke, still shaking from the force of your orgasm. “please! please rin, cum in me, pleease! wanna be- be- be yours”

“shit-” he grits out through clenched teeth, grabbing your hips tight and nearly knocking your head against the window until he suddenly stops. his balls clench up, cock jumping inside you while his cum shoots out, landing deep inside you.

easing himself out, he flops back onto the seat behind him, breathing heavily. collecting himself, he places a sweet kiss to your forehead and mumbles out an apology, telling you to stay back there while he drives the two of you home.

getting out from the backseat, he notices that the lights are still on in the restaurant. osamu is standing in the window, watching suna step out. he’d seen, and heard, the car shaking outside.

suna sends him a sly smirk and a wink before hopping in the drivers seat and taking off. at least now, osamu won’t question who you belong to.

[hello-everyfandom]

“Look at us, dating a year and we already have three children.”

Warnings: N/A

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader + Friend!Marauders

Words: 1k

Summary: The Marauders are notoriously child like sometimes and you’ve began cleaning up after them like a mum would

(Here’s a short little one for you guys to make up for all the angst I’ve been throwing at you!)

“Listen, Y/N.” You heard someone say behind you. “Please don’t panic nor get upset.” 

You sighed disappointingly, “What did you four do now,” closing your magazine and putting it on the common room table. 

“You promise not to get upset?” Sirius asked, clasping his hands in front of him.

“It depends on what you did.”

“Well, I. Okay-” Sirius grabbed your sleeve and pulled you up to the boy’s dormitory. You heard light screams and laughter which you were assuming came from James. 

As you pushed the door open, you sighed tiredly.“Alright, what happened then,” you said, walking in and taking out your wand. In the Marauder’s dorm, Peter was flying upside down on a broomstick, screaming like bloody hell. Remus was throwing pillows and duvets around to catch him in case he had taken a spill and fallen. 

“Okay so-”James interrupted Sirius with his laughter, clutching at his stomach, 

“Peter was wondering if we could charm a broom to see if it’d help quidditch players from falling off and-” he burst out into laughter.

“Help me!” Peter called, nearly touching the ceiling. 

Your face showed disappointment as you said to Remus,“Rem, you were supposed to make sure they did their charms homework, not actually do charms!”Remus put his hands up defensively, 

“Do you think I can control them, love? These boys are mad.”

Sirius placed a guilty smile on his face, “Pleease, Y/N. Please help us, we’re afraid Peter may be stuck up there till Christmas.”

“Till Christmas?!” Peter yelled as he fidgeted, almost knocking into the wall.

You sighed again and raised your wand to mutter a disenchantment spell. Peter fell from the broom and plopped on the pillows Remus had so nicely put out. He groaned and rubbed his bottom and dodged the falling broom that landed next to him. 

“Sit down, boys.” You pointed at James’ bed. They all complied, all with guilty grins.

“Are you mad, Y/N? Please don’t be mad, we’re just being fools,” James leaned back,

“I’m not mad,” you started. 

The boys all groaned and said in unison, ��Just disappointed.” 

“Precisely. Now, I’m going to finish my magazine and by the time dinner is served, I expect you four to be done with your charms homework.” 

Remus stood and wrapped his arms around you to put a kiss on your lips, you raised your hand to block him, “Up,” you tutted, “No kisses until dinner.” 

Remus shot daggers at the boys, “See what you lot have done? Gone and gotten me in trouble,” he said.

“Don’t act like you weren’t laughing before Y/N came up, Moony.” 

“Yeah!” Peter piped in, laughing a bit himself.

You couldn’t help but smile and shake your head, “Crazy lot, all of you are.”

“Aw look at that, Mum and Pop you two.” Sirius teased. 

James exploded into laughter again,“He’s so right! Blimey, Y/N, you’re like our mother, and Moony is our lousy father!”

“Lousy!?” Remus yelled, throwing a pillow at James’ laughing figure. 

You clicked your tongue, “Yes well, unlike your real mother, I will not wash your pants.” All the boys burst into laughter while James grumbled with red ears. You pointed at them, “Homework, now. Mum says so.” 

And with that, you left their dorm. 

Going to Hogsmeade with the boys was like going to a park with toddlers. You had to pull Sirius away from kicking the head off of a snowman that some first years had built and helped Peter up from slipping on some ice. You and Remus walked hand in hand, enjoying the snowy day. As you leaned in to press a kiss to Remus’ cold lips, you heard a chorus of, “Eww’s” coming from the boys. You rolled your eyes and continued to walk to Hogsmeade. The three boys raced into Honeydukes and began picking the candies they’d like whilst you and Remus browsed the chocolate aisle. While Remus wasn’t looking, you secretly purchased a chocolate bar and some fudge that you knew he’d snack on when he was reading in bed. You heard glass shatter and thousands of small plunks on the ground. You spun to see Remus scolding the boys for knocking over the toffee display. 

“Can’t take you boys anywhere, can I?” You called, Remus looked back at you with flushed cheeks. You apologized to the store clerk and offered to pay for the spilled candy to which she denied with a grumble. 

“Are you boys three years old?” Remus sighed, picking up the candies with the boy’s help. 

“Really, they are quite sweet. Just a little numb in the head,” you excused to the clerk before helping the boys. The day at Hogsmeade was quite fun. You bounced around, laughing and playing with your friends, making jokes and poking fun at each other. 

As sunset began to settle on its way, you told the boys to bundle up before heading back to Hogwarts.“Now, hold Mummy and Daddy’s hand,” you teased, talking to the teenage boys as if they were babies, “Don’t want you to slip.” 

The boys complained and refused, but you laughed anyways and took hold of Remus’ hand. “Look at us, dating a year and we already have three children.”  

You grinned and shoved him a bit, 

“Our real children will be quite lucky to have us, I reckon.” You leaned to kiss Remus again but felt something pelt your neck. Something wet, icy, and covered in betrayal. You turned to see James smiling and pointing at Sirius with accusation. 

“I may be your mother, but I am not afraid to give you a good wallop,” you said before bending down to make your own snowball. You raised your arm and hit James squarely in the face, nearly knocking off his glasses. A battleground was placed in front of you as you five began throwing snowballs. It was a sweet day, and if you closed your eyes hard enough, you could still hear the laughter you shared and the cool snow on your skin.

[kaebedom-me]

Ok someone requested for spicy Modern!Uni!AU Chaeya content so here we gO

Modern!Uni!AU Ch💙ya breeding kink

I really like the concept of things just starting as a joke between them

They don't negotiate kinks they just see smth they're interested in and they just g o at it

So Kaeya comes across breeding kink on the Internet and he's mind is like "oh"

He thought it'd be funny to spring it on Childe one day? Since they're always looking to spice things up

He goes over to Childe one fine day while they're chilling in their dorm and sits on his lap

Childe immediately puts his arms on his waist and starts kissing his neck cuz they're cute like that

Kaeya's like "hey i gotta ask you smth" and Childe slows down his kisses and hums "what is it"

Kaeya using his sexiest voice and pulls back a little, looking Childe in the eye and tells him to fuck babies into him

Childe does not hesitate 😩

He picks Kaeya up w ease and slams him into the desk he was on

Kaeya, ever the slut for being manhandled lets out a tiny moan and it just drives Childe w i l d

Childe doesn't know why he's so turned on rn but the way Kaeya is grinding on his hardening cock and begging so readily 💦

Childe lowkey doesn't know why he's so turned on like he can't actually fuck babies into Kaeya but the idea of it is so fucking hot???

Kaeya is no help just dirty talks some more to rile Childe up

"you really want to fuck babies into me, huh? I've barely done anything and you're already so hah-hard" "how long have you been thinking about us like this? How about it? Want some rowdy mini yous?"

Childe has to audacity to roughly trace up Kaeya half hard cock over his pants and then put his hand under Kaeya's shirt and scratch him lightly on his stomach "how bout some mini yous too?"

Honestly, Kaeya thinks he could lose it right there but he acts composed and bucks up urging Childe

I really want Kaeya to call Childe daddy so we're gonna go w that because i dO whAT i wANt

Kaeya pulls Childe down and licks his lips sultrily moans out daddy and Childe just snaps

He straight up tears Kaeya's clothes and- oh god, the fucking minx planned this

Kaeya's in light grey lingerie and his shape is highlighted by a maroon harness and it's honestly so cute because it's all of Childe's favourite colours

"did you get dressed up for me?"

"of course, anything to have daddy come deep inside me. I want to remember the feeling of being full of daddy's baby seed"

Childe bursts out laughing because what the fuck baby seed???? Leave

Kaeya's like come on don't be like that i wanted to try smth dumb

Childe doesn't mind bends down to kiss Kaeya tenderly

He's never quite thought about settling yet? I mean he's still in uni and in his prime but the thought of being w Kaeya for the rest of his life and maybe watch proudly as his future kids play? He could get used to the idea uwu

Kinda nuzzles Kaeya while he thinks cute thoughts but Kaeya starts up again HAHAH

"dadddyyyy, pleease, i want your cum inside me so bad. I want to your breeding bitch, daddy, pleease"

Whiny

Childe is kinda turned on but also thinks about how Kaeya can be so shameless

Doesn't stop Childe tho gets on to fucking Kaeya

Soils the lingerie like the stains aren't gonna come out, Childe promises to buy more

Snaps the harness to stimulate Kaeya too? Hey, he pulled it out, he's not going to just toss it aside to fuck putting that shit on takes time and effort

If Kaeya continues to say ridiculous things Childe will return the favour too, he can be shameless too

Sucks on Kaeya's nipples while pumping his cock "when you're pregnant with our baby, what do you think your milk will taste like? Do you think you'd lactate while getting fucked, baby? You'll feel so full too, won't you, stuffed full of our baby and my cum"

Kaeya's doesn't want to emit the way his hole clench up on Childe's cock was because of the dirty talk. No, it's just Childe was sucking on his nipple so earnestly and he was stroking his cock exactly how he liked it

They go for like hours whenever they try a new kink because they're discovering smth about the kink and stuff about themselves

It's also like smth new? So they kinda fixate on it the entire session just to see how their partners are fairing w it and if they can do it again

100% they're gonna do this again

Kaeya thinks its so hot when Childe earnestly fucks and pumps him with so many loads with his cum. His sex crazed mind for a few minutes genuinely thinks he might get pregnant

Childe thinks the way his cum is flooding Kaeya's hole is so cute. Maybe getting called daddy is kinda hot too. Also the prospect of having a family with Kaeya is so cute?? He's soft