#please ugly sobbing over this episode IT WAS SO GOOD

[jinxini]

thoughts while watching episode 3! ☆

summary: i love the sisters so much and my heart aches ㅠ.ㅠ

caitlyn: yeah i don't think so.

girl, i don't know about that. you took vi and a random homeless guy with you. they have zero training.

the way vi drops the gauntlets before embracing caitlyn... <3

get this gay ass furry off my screen fghsjkalal i know there are going to be so many freaks who'll love him though 😂 lowkey dislike the voice also idk it's the vibe, the outfit slays though

darlings, nothing you said made any sense lmao

there's NO way she actually means that

.......

yeah that hurt.

vi and ekko should create a support group called "in denial about powder"

changing the subject, the goggles look so good on her

god PLEASE do not be foreshadowing please

...she's gonna die this season isn't she. i can't handle that, i can't

vi's gonna stop the bullet, right? right?

no??

i love how vi's like, you really brought up my sex life? sad girl hours are over, it's on little sister.

no stop fighting :( WHY are you two fighting each other, there's no reason to do that, you two love each other more than anything come onnn :(((

i love that jayce's actions are affecting the weapons because they're using the same technology. it looks so cool.

sevika you're a freak oh my god

and then it cuts to these three high af

the way the animation and the music work together in this scene... insanely good, i've already rewatched this like 5 times

how many times do i have to tell you to stop hurting each other 😭 vi please stop punching your little sister 💔

my poor little meow meow :(

sidenote but the purple lipstick is ugly

why has no one in universe commented on the fact that her eyes literally changed colour??

so unnecessary. seriously why. im sorry but this kid has no name, she hasn't spoken a single word, we met her an episode ago, but apparently she's important enough to interrupt the fight and come between the two main character? honestly unbelievable. she has no earned this.

the way jinx yelled no when the child was about to shoot her sister i'm actually sobbing

my brother: go ahead caitlyn, you can shoot if you want.

no but actually, it would have been really interesting to see how caitlyn would deal with that. how would she cope with the fact that she killed a child and how she sees jinx as a murderer and now she's one too? And that would have made her and jinx's relationship even more strained (i think vi would forgive her and understand how fucked up the whole situation was). That would have honestly been super interesting to explore. maybe if the show had 3 seasons...

god i feel so bad for vi i just want her to be happy... why can't i hug her? :(

but what was she thinking fighting against her sister like that... smh

mel is too pretty and good for this, leave her out of this thanks

[themorriganwitch]

Never alone

Summary: Bradley finds you curled up on your living room floor, crying your heart out because your body image issues got the best of you

Trigger Warning: This One Shot contains mentions of self harm, body issues, Eating disorder and extremely overwhelming thought. 

Words: 1,8k

A/N: This one shot means a lot to me, since it evolves around my own experience with body image issues, self harm and ED. If you are struggling with any on these topics, please know that you are valid and loved. If you ever want to talk about these things, feel free to send my a DM

Reblogs and Comments are always dearly appreciated

______________________________________________________________________

Your day actually started pretty good. It was a relaxing Saturday; the sun was shining, and you were able to sleep in since there was no need for a timer. The air was warm but breezy, so you wore your new green sundress, the one Bradley had gifted you last week because he saw it and it made him think of you. Then you headed out to meet Natasha for a late Brunch in the city.

You had an amazing time with your best friend, you laughed till your bellies hurt and talked about her upcoming vacation plans as well as about your bachelorette party next month. After you waved her goodbye when she climbed into her black Jeep, you had decided to make a short detour to your favorite clothing store, wanting to pick up a new set of lingerie to surprise Bradley as soon as he would be home after his day out with his boys.

But as soon as you slipped into the first set you picked out, a dark red one – your fiancées favorite color, and saw yourself in the mirror of the fitting room your entire mood changed.

Did your thighs really look that huge? Have your upper arms always been that wobbly? And your belly- you knew that you had gained some weight since you started your relationship, you just hadn’t notice how much you had gained, at least not until now.

And that’s how you found yourself sitting on the couch in your living room, wearing nothing but some panties and one of Bradley’s old shirts, eyes red and puffy from all the tears that had streamed out. You could not really wrap your head around why you are triggered to such an extent; you barely had any problems with your ED anymore since you went to therapy and worked through your issues related to food and self-perception.

But right now, you just felt like your 19-year-old self again who was lying on the cold bathroom floor crying their heart out while begging the Universe to just make the pain stop. To make you look like anybody else, to simply make that monster inside your brain, who told you to go to bed starving every. single. night. - stop.

Unworthy.

 Unlovable.

 Ugly. 

All those thoughts circulated around your messed up brain, spiraling over and over until you had the feeling that you must die to make this horrendous pain stop.

Against knowing better, you spiraled even further, walking in the kitchen to grab the last chocolate ice cream cub that was left in the refrigerator. Hoping this would help to numb the emotional turmoil that had taken control over your entire body.

About thirty minutes later you found yourself again on the couch, t-shirt covered in brown stains while the tears had started to fall again. Your sobbing became frantically, your stomach was bloated painfully from all the ice cream you ate and now regret.

Trying to cover your emotions with food never worked and now you felt even worse than you did when you came home.

You lie down on the ground next to the couch, forehead pressed onto the cold tiles in the desperating attempt to ground yourself and simply sit this episode out, knowing very well that if this would not work you would go back into the kitchen, grabbing anything sharp you could find and stab your arms hoping the physical pain would over wash the emotional one.

Why did you have to go through this again and again?

Were you really this awful? How could Bradley even love you? You were ugly and obviously mentally unstable. He deserved better. So much better. After everything he had been through, he just deserved someone normal. Someone beautiful. Someone who is stable in themselves and who do not burden him with even more emotional ballast.

The voices in your head and the sobs you still could not managed to hold in were becoming so loud, that you did not notice how your fiancée stepped into your shared living room, a wide smile on the lips which slowly fades as soon as his eyes catch your embrace.

“Honey?”, he asked, trying to keep his voice calm. He slowly made his way to you, trying not to frighten you since it didn’t seem that you had noticed him.

His heart ached at his view: the love of his life curled up on the cold floor, your breath unregular from all the loud sobs escaping your lips. “Honey”, he tried again, this time a little louder.

If he thought the sight in front of him was hurtful a couple of minutes ago, he could feel his heart shatter as soon as you lift your head, eyes red and puffy, tears still running down your redden cheeks.

“I’m so sorry”, you said, voice raspy from what feels like hours of crying. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry”, you repeated yourself all over again, gratefully throwing yourself into Bradley’s strong arms as he sunk next to you on the ground.

“Shhh it’s okay, baby”, he said, rubbing your back in soothing motions as he pressed a loving kiss onto your hair. “I’m so sorry. So so sorry”, you repeated again and again.

After something that felt like hours, Bradley had managed to maneuver the two of you back on the couch, your head pressed in the crook of his neck while your sobs slowly start to fade. Your boyfriend had barely spoken to you, except for the occasional “It’s okay, I am here with you” and “Let it all out, you are safe with me”.

“What happened, baby girl?”, Bradley asked softly, after he made sure you were now calm enough to answer his question.

You cleared your throat, before lifting your head to meet your boyfriend’s beautiful hazel eyes. “I am not sure. I went out with Nat for Brunch and then…”, you went ahead and told him everything about your day and how you ended up on your living room floor.

Bradley sighed sadly. He knew about your body image issues and your Ed, you had told him about it after a couple of months after you had started your relationship. He knew all about your struggles, your nearly manic episodes when your thoughts tend to get the best of you, and you spiral deeper and deeper. “What were you thinking?” he asked, attempting to give you the opportunity to get rid of your overwhelming thoughts.

You closed your eyes, debating with yourself if you should tell him the truth, terrified of the idea he could think you are insane. But then you looked at him and you saw nothing but love and admiration in his eyes and you just knew that if you could not tell Bradley about what was going on, there would never be someone who could understand you.

“I just were in this fitting room, and I felt so ugly. So so ugly. And then I went home, and I just felt so awful, and I did not know what to do and in my head, everything got worse and worse. And then I asked myself why you could ever want me. Like you deserve so much, Bradley. You are the love of my life. You deserve someone stable, someone who does not carry that much baggage with themselves. Someone who is worthy of you love and someone who is”- you were not able to move on, because he cut you off, staring at you wide eyed.

“Hold on. Hold on”, he said, brows furrowed in concern. “Baby, how could you ever think that you are not worthy of me? Please listen carefully, honey. I love you; I love you so much that sometimes it feels like my heart must explode in my chest from all those emotions you make me feel. I know we are not married yet, but when I asked you to share your life with me, I promised you that I will love you always. Endlessly. Unconditionally. And I don’t care if you are not perfect, because no one is Baby. Even though, for me, you are”, he smiled softly at you, cupping your heated cheek with his right hand.

“You are the most beautiful person I ever had the pleasure to meet. No matter if you are all dolled up in sexy red lingerie or in dirty sweatpants and one of my old navy t-shirts. I don’t care if you gained weight, nor do I care if your thighs might look bigger than normal cause our bodies simply fluctuate from time to time. But I do care about how you are feeling about yourself, and if you don’t feel good about yourself, I am here to talk to. Please, for the love of God, please talk to me. We are a team, baby girl. Your problems are my problems, and your enemies are my enemies. And it does not matter if I must get at an actual person or the monster you have in the darkness of your thoughts. I am here to fight with you. And I will always fight for you. Okay?” You nod, again feeling tears swelling in your eyes but now not because of the overwhelming hate you feel for yourself but for the soothing love your fiancée makes you feel. As he always makes you feel. “I’m sorry”, you said. “I should have called you as soon as I knew how this would go down. But I was just so in my thoughts – “.

“No need to apologize”, Bradley interrupted you. “Next time you simply remember what to do. So, what do you think about taking a bath together? Getting you all cleaned up and then we can drink a tea, cuddle up in bed and watch an episode of the office?”

“That sounds great”, you answered smitten. “I love you, Bradley Bradshaw”.

“Not as much as I love you”, he answered before pressing a tender kiss onto your lips.

He heaved his big body from the couch, taking your hand and leading you both down the hallway to your bathroom.

The both of you knew that you would still have some stuff to talk about in the morning, but right now everything that matters were that you had your boyfriend right by you side.

Your boyfriend who just again showed how deeply in love he was with you, and that no matter how much your thoughts try to get the best of you, he would always be by your side to fight the demons inside your brain. With you. Together. Forever.

[thenerdyindividual]

So it’s the ten year anniversary of the finale. I’m going to say something that even people who unironically enjoy the show might disagree with.

The finale was amazing and the correct ending for the show.

Don’t get me wrong, it absolutely ripped my heart out. I’ve watched the show like… 7 times? But I’ve only ever watched the finale twice because I was too much of a chicken the first few times I watched, and both times I’ve watched it I have straight up sobbed. Fully ugly cry, had to blow my nose because of all the snot.

But even though it leaves me heartbroken every time, it was a perfect ending for the show. Arthur’s death was foreshadowed all the way back in season one, Kilgharrah warns Merlin that Arthur’s destiny is to bring magic back but also that Mordred is destined to kill Arthur. And the finale plays that out. The implication is that Gwen, who has figured out Merlin is a sorcerer, is the one to complete the mission. However, because Merlin loved Arthur so dearly he used his magic for so much goodness and protection, and that is why Gwen is able to break through her own reservations with magic. So it was Arthur’s destiny to bring magic back because without him, Merlin would have no reason to protect Camelot, and Gwen would have no reason to change the laws.

Merlin as a show is a tragedy (literary sense) and a masterful depiction of how destinies don’t cancel each other out. Destiny is just another word for tragedy. Knowledge of destiny doesn’t allow you to outrun it, and trying to outrun it is often the very thing that causes the noose to tighten. The finale is the perfect culmination of Merlin trying to outrun Arthur’s death at the hands of Mordred. In doing so, Merlin opened the door for magic to still be outlawed and that motivated Kara’s assassination attempt, which led to Mordred’s betrayal, and caused Arthur’s death.

It wraps up the overarching struggle of the narrative so well, and amidst all the tragedy we get a full episode of just Merlin and Arthur. We get to see the culmination of the relationship they have built over ten years together, we get to see Arthur finally let down the last of the emotional barriers he has struggled with and confirm what we all knew, that he cares just as deeply for Merlin as Merlin does him and appreciates Merlin for who he is. Which also perfectly circles back to the desire expressed by Merlin in the early seasons, wanting Arthur to truly know him.

I even like the haunting final image of Merlin wandering past Avalon in 2012. I know people wish there had been some indication of hope for Arthur’s return, but I think that would’ve cheapened the tragedy. Part of the point of a tragedy is to look back on all the things that went wrong to get the characters to this point, knowing that if you could only go back and warn them, but you can’t. They were doomed to this from the beginning. By letting the heartbreak linger in that final shot, Merlin is left in the same position of the audience, looking back at everything that happened and being able to see what went wrong while also knowing that even if he couldn’t change anything, he would go back and do it again because never meeting Arthur or his other friends would be unthinkable.

(If you didn’t like the finale, that’s fine, but please don’t argue with me. We wont agree, and we’ll just have to agree on that.)

[frogizz]

The Untamed Mind Dump (Spoilers duh)

(I have yet to read the novel for MDZS, and I am on Episode 47 of The Untamed so I want to do another mind dump like last time)

Jin Guangyao, I've been suspicious of him ever since I saw that face of his (I am not calling the actor ugly or anything like that, I can acknowledge its the acting that made him look suscpious not his actual face.) But I didn't excpect for him to be that sick of a human being.

Wei Wuxian being the scapegoat all over again

Damn these people love to gossip

I forgot about Wei Wuxian offering his Golden Core to Jiang Cheng

I miss Jiang Yanli bro

I also miss Wen Qing

At least I have Wen Ning, he is so awesome

I have the firm belief that while Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian are responsible for the death of Jin Zixuan, I know damn well Jiang Yanli's blood is not on Wei Wuxian's hands. Heck, I kind of think even though Wei Wuxian was the cause of Jin Zixuan's death, that that situation was obviously curated from the start, there was no intention to kill anyone that day because Wei Wuxian was doing this all in self defense. (Still sad that Jin Zixuan had to be a casualty).

I legit don't remember Su She before episode 45

The way I had to pause, sit up, stand up, walk around when that lady revealed Jin Guangyao tortured his father like that and what he did to Qin Su??? OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDD

Lan Wanji, you're the best supporter and best friend ever (I know in the novel he's Wei Wuxian's lover but in The Untamed their relationship is still amazing as best friends).

Wei Wuxian is such a great leader and protected those teens well (most of them are teens right? they all seemed kinda young)

I feel so bad for Jin Ling, all of his family's dirty laundry being aired out from both sides because his (defected) martial uncle is infamous for doing dirty tricks and is the supposed one who killed his parents, his maternal uncle being really hard on him, his paternal uncle being absolute scum and him doing things worse than what Wei Wuxian was ever accused for, and then to top it all off, he is constantly bullied.

To add to that, Jin Ling's outbursts are to be expected, he's just like his maternal uncle, really emotional. Jiang Cheng has had his outbursts of anger and aggressiveness (verbal and/or physical) and this could be the only way Jin Ling knows how to express himself.

At first I thought Jin Ling was an arrogant and stupid spoiled brat but I just want to hug this poor kid, the trauma of not having his parents and knowing that they died brutal deaths, the bullying, just everything. Just let him have a nice and warm blanket while snuggling with Fairy for once, please?

Speaking of Fairy, can people stop threatening the dog please? Like, they're such a good boy/girl (Netflix subtitles swapped them at somepoint from he to she and then it so I have no idea).

I WAS CRYING WHEN LAN SIZHUI STARTED TO REMEMBER HIS PAST AND THEN WEN NING WAS TRYING TO CATCH UP WITH HIM BRUH I WAS UGLY CRYING, SOBBING, THEY'RE FAMILY, THEY DESERVE TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER, THE LAST OF THE WEN FAMILY AAAA

I am such a sucker for reunited families, families with close bonds, found families, I don't know why, but it strikes me in the heart in such a painful and joyful way.

Zewu Jun, I always have mad respect for this man and I understand how he needs to make his own judgement and not only trust the words of others, I just can't blame him for that. But man was I afraid that he betrayed everyone by actually being 100% on Jin Guangyao's side knowing everything he did in episode 46, but he looked as confused and weirded out as ever so thankfully he isn't on his side anymore, I love this dude, I'm his biggest supporter.

I'll make each of these things their own post because I have so much more I want to say.

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group B Round 1: #B4 vs #B5

#B4: Human falls in love with an android

This anime is a 13-episode Sci-fi romance story about eighteen-year-old Tsukasa Mizugaki, who lands a job at Sion Artificial Intelligence Corporation ( SAI Corps). SAI corps has created Giftias, androids that are nearly identical to humans. Giftias have one major difference from humans in that they are only allowed to live for 9 years and 4 months before they start to break down.

Tsukasa is partnered with a Giftia named Isla. Slowly, they begin to fall in love.

#B5: (Mostly) unexperienced college track team aims for big race

It’s a sports anime which focuses on a college running team. Their goal? To run the Hakone Ekiden, a famous marathon relay race. The catch? With two notable exceptions of their captain and their latest recruit, this team is composed entirely of amateurs. Does this mess of a team stand any chance of even qualifying for the race?

Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!

#B4: Plastic Memories

Propaganda 1:

This anime is a heart-wrenching masterpiece. It is slow, tender, and incredibly cathartic. The art is beautiful, and the story is enchanting. Of all the random anime I watched in middle school, this one really stuck with me.

Propaganda 2:

My brother and I watched it together. He ugly sobbed at it so hard, he had to go stand outside and weep down the phone to someone and my mom thought that he’d received news of someone’s actual death. He was okay, though, I promise

Trigger Warnings: [Not Stated]

#B5: Run with the Wind (Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru)

Propaganda 1:

Okay so finally a sports anime that isn't set in high school. (There aren't nearly enough set in college.) MC is basically Older Running Kageyama, in both looks and personality. He has to overcome his past issues with his old track team, and learn to open up. I love the relationships that form between the team members. There's one who is just Not Here for It and struggles A Lot, who just wants to go home and read manga. (Hey it me.) There's also a cute dog, and a lot of the bg music is by the same folks as Haikyuu.

Propaganda 2:

I genuinely think this might be the best sports anime out there. It’s an amazing anime in general, with good animation, a beautiful art show, and a great premise, though what really makes it stand out is the characters.

RWTW is a character-driven story at heart, with all the main characters given their time to shine. The main cast is very lovable, and their relationships with each other are depicted in a sweet but realistic way. The protagonist, Kakeru, goes through a great character development over the course of the show, from being a lonely outcast at the start to accepting the other team members into his heart as found family.

While I’m not a runner personally, I still found this interesting to watch, since along with the training there’s a lot of thoughtful discussion on the nature of running: what it means to run, to be a runner. There’s a very philosophical aspect to it, which makes sense considering that RWTW is actually adapted from a book. The last thing I’ll say is that as a college student myself, it’s really nice to watch an anime focused on people in college and not high school. Oh, and the soundtrack is incredible.

Trigger Warnings: Alcohol and Smoking

If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

[seleeenaaa]

Thoughts on Today’s Episode

I think Lucy would have more faith if it was Felix and Elizabeth co-chairing the Nurses Ball…

Do we really need Mildew?

Victor Cassadine causing trouble is iconic for the anniversary. How many times has the Cassadine cause trouble? Especially when Steve Hardy had his heart attack after Stefan Cassadine got the hospital?

It’s like those three witches from Hocus Pocus.

Yasss, Sydney about Dex!

Chase and Brook Lynn get your 💩 together please!

Sona 😭 and the soft flirting.

I am done speaking about the blond ones and mildew.

Laura is not coming 😒

Sante are goals!

It’s Webber! I am so over the Baldwin!

Am I going to see Sasha and Cody?

Fashion Opinion:

Lucy is wearing a dress I seen before on I think Anna or someone else wear so I don’t like it.

Brook Lynn look AMAZING 🤩

Sydney looks good in the colour but hate the dress

Maxie looks H O T 🔥

I don’t like Bobbie’s dress. It’s to plain for the co-chair.

Drew (CM) looks like fine.

Dex is looking F I N E!

I don’t like Carly or Joss dresses too.

Sonny is looking good.

The men (Sonny, Drew, & Dex) look average at best except for Dex who looks hot.

Nina, work the f*** out of the dress. The colour, the leg 🦵! Yassssss Queen.

Curtis is zaddy!

The small part of Ava’s dress looks good!

SOB Manger is ugly.

Spencer is 🥵 as well.

What do they have Princess Trina in? You went al out for Josslyn but for Trina get a dress that I could get for 10 bucks? Don’t like Trina’s dress. #madatyough #coulddobetterforher

Ava looks gorgeous and the leg work!

Austin is okay.

Okay Queen Jordan! Look at you in that dress! Sexy as sin!

Portia also look stunning 😍.

Sam looks so good!

Dante is daddy!

Chase 😍

Finn is okay.

Elizabeth looks lovely ☺️

Petty Point: Elizabeth Webber should have open the red carpet as the granddaughter of Steve Hardy like she did for 2018.

Favourite Moment: Sona and their flirting.

[superbattrash]

Okay, episode 2 had less of what I expected but more of other good stuff, that’s cool

Sandy ep2

Man, it’s like looking at my own depression, yikes. You’ll be ok sandy, you’ll rebuild, I’m sure it’ll be just as nice as before

At least you have lulu, they seem nice. And very loyal too as far as I can tell

Oh no, you don’t have your full powers, you poor little sandymandy. You can get them back tho! You totally can, I promise. Wait is Ethel still alive then? Oh she totally is, that’s crazy

Good for you, E, but you’re totally ruining Sandy’s life, that’s not very nice of you

That’s gotta be teef man, right? He is so obsessed. Are eyes worth that much for you Corin? You had a decade of fun, now go home with your master

3-in-1, how very head and shoulders of you. I think lulu is right, maybe the others will help- oh. Oh right. They didn’t help you when you were all alone and naked :( okay, forget the siblings then, go for the shower people

Is that a DRAGON OH MY GOD IT’S SO UGLY I LOVE HIMMMMMM. Oh. Gargoyle, sorry

Cain? As in- oh my god THAT cain, okay okay then. Mystery and secrets? Cool cool, that. Probably makes sense, idk

No, don’t take the not-dragon!! They’re so mean, you ALL lost something, boys, don’t be mean :( oh you’re so sad. This is awful, I don’t like this, Cain and Abel just want their Greg to be okay :(

You’re gonna absorb him just to get the head and shoulders guys to come and not even tell you what you wanna know?? Sandy, I don’t like this :(

Oh you’re crying. Don’t cry. If you cry, I’ll cry 😭

Sandy, you need to give Gregory back when you’re done, I won’t forgive you if you don’t

He???? Just killed???? I mean I know he did but but w h a t

Kill him?? And then trust you? Jesus, this crazy bitch. Oh, a very thinly veiled threat, nice, Corin.

The Fates, right, sorry, I forgot their actual name, excuse me, but you’re really going into the murky water just to, what? Pay them? This is a lot, sandy, just.. a lot

JESUS CHRIST I JUST PEED A LITTLE I didn’t expect a jump scare sort of deal

Sandy, I like sandy more. Can I call you morph if I really have to call you something else?

He’s confident but polite, that’s a nice combination so far

CONSTANTINE????? ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Like the one we already know?? Probably not, but I’ll pretend

Oh my god is that gonna give them a new Gregory? Please please please, yay

Supernatural and sexiest, ehehehe, okay, that’s fun, Ethel. You’re both flirting, now stop it. Oh god don’t show her your not-eyes, you crazy bastard JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WHAT DID YOU DO, ETHEL

oh so he keeps killing him over and over, that’s…something. IT’S A NEW BABY YAAAAY, I KNEW IT. Irving? Really? Ok then, it’s your not-dragon. G, you say? Just call it Girving then. Oh, same brain

Aaaand you killed him

Where are you now, E? Who are you visiting, hmm? That’s gotta be your kid. Oh so by taken your son, you meant his mind? Wait, is that. Is that whatshisface. The actor who plays the Weasley dad?? It sounds like him anyway

Goldie?? Hm, okay I guess

Abel. My guy. Bestie. That is not healthy

Lulu is totally my fav - or yaknow. Second favorite. I still like sandy mostest

“No more ravens” cries sobs screams

You can’t just expect Constantine to obey you, dude, you ain’t got any of your mojo

Is that you, Corin? Did Ethel send you back home? Oh that is. Disturbing to watch. Lulu can you please beat his ass? “I fit right in”, yeah, humans suck, Corin, we know. You kinda have a point but it’s not a very good point, just sayin’

Alright. I did think there’d be more chasing but it’s still a solid 7 I’d say. Good characters, many questions. Oh and very nice buildup which I appreciate, a good tummy full of lore, thank you, sandy

[duhhhhimstypidyall-blog]

Spiraling (Vent/Brain Dump)

TW: mental breakdown, spiraling, ranting, ect.

 !PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD HEADSPACE!

The concept of time is really fucked when you are experiencing severe dissociation episodes. My entire life I’ve lacked a general awarness of time and don’t seem to have a reliable internal clock like some others. Everything I experience seems to be in polar extremes. Time either moves so painfully slow that it seems like a day will never end or so fast that it seems like I blink and a week has passed. It is even more complicated when it seems to have both characteristics simultaneously even though from a logical stand point it should not be possible. I’m assuming that is why it is so hard for me to comprehend. When I was a kid, all the super exciting things in life always sped by while undesireable experiences seemed to slow everything down. Now it has nothing to do with the surrounding circumstances. Each day I live makes less and less sense to me. The funny thing is every once and a while I will go a few weeks or maybe even a month without giving this whole ordeal a single thought, but it always creeps back in and its been getting alarmingly worse upon each return. Throw sleep deprivation, an eating disorder, and isolation into the mix and I am left with an ugly cocktail of a spiraling psychotic breakdown. One thing people always have to say to someone in a rough mental health patch is that you will get through this and move past it. Although I am not necesarily disagreeing with this statement, it is not giving me any sort of hope, which I am assuming is supposed to be the outcome of the statement. It does not provide hope because even though I always somehow get out of these episodes, I never remember them once thier over. That also means being in it right now, I don’t have a known way of getting out of it because I don’t remember what I did last time to get out. I am not sure that made much sense but thats besides the point. It is so strange to be in this state. I am here enough to know that I am not here which is ironic because again, that contradicts itself. I would compare it as sort of going on autopilot, I am reluctantly getting out of my desk chair and going to work but I could not tell you any of the conversations that I had or even what events from the shifts were on which particular day of the week. I am just all around delirous and checked the fuck out. I am starting to get frustrated again with feeling stuck in a loop with no progress being made and it feels pointless. I know I have so much more to say but I keep zoning out and staring at what I know are my fingers on the keyboard but they sure do not seem entirely connected to me right now. They just look slightly off, its that feeling you get when you see the pictures of those liminal spaces and factually there is nothing immediatly concerning about the photos but you get this gut feeling that there is something off behind the scenes. I must have punched my car again at some point recently because I have nasty bruises on my hand again. If I am being honest I haven’t slept in 2 days and I cannot remember the last time I ate. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye that are most likely not even there and hearing shit I can assume is not real either. I just wish I did not have to go through this alone. I am a complete looser and a failure, I am in my early 20′s and have NO friends, I live by myself and am only close with my sister out of the family who is unfortunately 3 hours away from me. We are in contact daily over the phone and on social media due to our shared interests but it is not the same as having someone physically in your presence to bring you back down to earth a little bit. I really need a fucking hug, I am so touch starved that if someone were to genuinely embrace me I just know I would immediately burst into tears and hyperventilate through my violent sobbing. I know I am supposed to deserve to be loved and have friends but its hard to believe that when I have nothing to prove otherwise. If I deserved friendship and love wouldn’t I have it? Some of the nastiest and cruel people in the world are allowed those luxuries so why the fuck am I the one that gets it taken away from me. I don’t have anyone to tell my jokes too. I have nobody to play video games with. I have nobody to share my newest plot ideas with. I just want to share the human experience with at least one other person like the rest of the world gets to. It is not fair. I have not done anything in my life that would constitute a punishment as cruel as this. Recently I have been listening to the song Karma by AJR and I feel like it really captures the way I feel about the whole thing. Especially the line, “the universe works in mysterious ways but I’m starting to think it ain’t working for me”. It confuses me because in an abstract way the human experience is following the rules laid out by the universe and in turn recieving either good or bad things based on your compliance. It just seems like I am being expected to follow an entirely different set of rules and rewards but I have no idea what they are and noone will tell me what they are. I come to the universe asking questions because it is just the way that things are supposed to be and thats just how it works, but for some reason I am met with notions of “well not for you though” with no further explainations. What am I doing this for? I do not belong in this timeline, I feel like I got misplaced on accident and that this is not the lifetime that I am supposed to be navigating but I am trapped here until the end of humanity.  

[penisstormcomic]

episode 2 script: witherstorm x penisstorm forbidden fuckfest

[transcript] I banged ur mom bro I can’t wait 2 draw this. short, sweet, simple, straight to the point, definitely not made on franticfanfic.com

One day the ballestical penisstorm heard some ok anyway lets skip to the sex part!!!

the penisstorm starting moaning dramatically as the witherstorm slowly stroked its manhood (its entire body) with its tentacles

"do u like that babygril :333" says the witherstorm

"a-ah.. yes master" moans the penisstorm

then the witherstorm slowly started stroking faster

"a-aaahh go faster pweasee daddy.." says the penisstorm, moaning with excitement..

then the witherstorm finally stopped, edging the penisstorm

Witherstorm starts putting all of the tentaclehood inside penisstorm and penisstorm lets out a huge moan "AWOOOUGHUGHAAAWUGH harder withie" witherstorm then strokes the penisstorm's sensitive spots and the penisstorm starts whimpering and blushing while the witherstorm growls to penisstorm's face "oh yes touch my insides put your juicy manhood in me YESSS!!!!!!!" The penisstorm moaned

“Ngh…. Ngh… I cant take it anymore!!! I’m gonna CUM!!!!!!!!!!” the witherstorm screamed

“YES!!! SHOOT UR CREAMY SPERMSTORMS INSIDE OF ME NGH MFF~~~~” penisstorm got. absoluted filled to the brim with the glowing purple cum of the witherstorm

“that was so good kitten… AGH! JESSE?! Youre home early honey…” witherstorm chuckled.

“WHO… WHO IS THIS????” Jesse wailed

“YOUVE BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH A… PENIS??”

“I swear it’s not like that babe we’re just butt buddies”

“Butt buddies are u fucking serious” Jesse sobbed

“Ya he just comes over for a quick butt fuck nothing else I swear”

“NOTHING ELSE??? IS MY ASS NOT GOOD ENOUGH???” Jesse wailed

“Yes ur ass is so gay” witherstorm yelled

“YOURE GAY!!!”

“ITS FINE I LOVE PENISSTORM MORE!!!”

Penisstorm yelped

Jesse sighed and walked out of the the witherstorms room. It had been a good run.

later that day the ballestical penisstorm and the witherstorm were chillin, casually making out while obliterating everything in their sight because its funny.

"Man, i luv you so much penis you're my #1 babygirl fr :33" The witherstorm said while slapping an entire town to death

"Aww i love you 2 :33" the penisstorm said, giggling and blushing.

"Although I feel like i haven't been completely honest with you penis.. yknow how i said i was single with no kid??" thw witherstorm said after it was finally done slapping the small town to death.

the penisstorm glared at the witherstorm with curiosity in its glowing purple eyes

"I.. im married and i have a child.. its ugly as fuck tho" the witherstorm said, staring to the ground out of shame

"Oh.. well-" the penisstorm said, but was interrupted mid sentence by a man in the distance

"WITHERSTORM??! MY MEOW MEOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT THING!??" both of the storms turned out of shock to see a texas man with red suspenders in the distance (bro still hasnt learnt that the witherstorm likes the penisstorm more)

"A-AHH-, JESSE BBG I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT WORK.." The witherstorm yelped in shock

"THATS UR HUSBAND??" the penisstorm yelled

"YEA I AM AND ILL KICK YOUR ASS FOR MAKING OUT WITH MY BBG..." Jesse screamed

"Babe pls this isnt-" the witherstorm was interrupted

"Don't worry babe ill deal with this penis just stay back ok kitten???" Jesse said, approaching the penisstorm with his cummand hoe

"dont hurt my little sugar penis!!! I know you cheated on me with toy chica!!!" the witherstorm yelled throwing blocks towards jesse

"w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-ww-w-w-ww-wwhat????? how did you know that??? please it was just a goof!!" jesse said tears filling his eyes

"toy chica thrusted 69 penises into you as a goof?!"

"well yea i mean who hasnt done that as a goof..?" jesse asked inquisitively

Jesse ran out and listened to clarity after spermstorm (the witherstorm and penisstorms kid) "YOU ARE THE PIECE OF ME I WISH I DIDNT EAT" penisstorm hovered to jesse and said "WAIT I'M SURE HE DIDNT MEAN THAT" jesse walked over to penisstorm and went jesse started singing "IF ALLL OUR LOVE WAS TRAGEDY WHY ARE YOU MY MELODY!! IF-" but was slapped by the penisstorm then spermstorm jumped out of nowhere and started shouting at jesse about that hes gay "I AM NOT GAY I JUST LIKE DONGS UP MY ASS IT FEELS GOOD AND ORGASMIC" jesse cried "ACTUALLY YOU ARE GAY ACCORDING TO MY STATISTICS" the spermstorm said but then jesse cries out "LEAVE ME ALONE!!! FOR ONCE!!!!" And then jesse runs away never to be seen from the penisstorm and the spermstorm, jesse lives in a little tent with a pet rock named poodle as jesse writes a note "Hello my name is jesse, i am away from everyone including penisstorm I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS! I now live in a little campsite with my pet rock poodle i often go fishing, this is my new life style cry about it" jesse sends out the note to everyone he knows.

Sad credits with jesse playing a sad song

OK THATS IT :3 I’m 2 tired to fix spacing, grammar & stuff I’m so eepy I stayed up until 3 posting these scripts (IT TOOK SO LONG 4 SOME REASON??) anyway bye guys

[thereisnoblogniche]

The Last of Us (2023)

I have no outlet to talk about this. I need to express my thoughts somewhere. I just finished episode 7 today. i don't expect or necessarily want anyone to read this but if you are bored please don't expect this to make sense. i'm very tired and i feel myself nodding off as i type longer and longer (i'm writing this part last). I took some cold medicine and I am certain that is not helping. just a disclaimer for if you do read because it's all over the place and it's not pretty. very vulnerable and ugly look at myself.

"it's okay baby girl. I've got you." That line single-handedly destroyed me. Okay, that's not fair. It's what made me break down into the visceral, uncontrollable sobs that I couldn't contain or hide anymore. But it was far from working alone.

what an emotional, intense, wild ride. The show has been fantastic up to this point. I've had so many intimate moments with the characters. I've learned about them. Gotten to know them. Watched many of them die--fairly or not. It's not a fair world after the world ends. it may not be kind or gentle or morally good, but it's justifiable, if not just understandable.

The show is well-made, well-cast, well-acted, well-edited, well-done all over. But I feel gutwrenched. Sad. I don't want it to end. I haven't had enough time. I need more episodes. Why aren't they longer? Why aren't there 13? Why not have a whole second season dedicated to more of Ellie and Joel's relationship? I'm not ready for this to be over. I am just not.

I don't know how to succinctly or even long-windedly explain how I feel about this episode. All I feel is just empty and depressed. Just depleted. I am very affected by fictional media and find myself so wrapped up in the characters and story, you'd think I went through it and experienced it all myself.

I can't put it into words. I keep sitting here and trying. Yes, watching Joel and Ellie go from a transactional relationship to choosing to save one another over and over is beautiful. Yes, watching Joel open up and Ellie learn to survive are two things that I cannot do justice to by simply summing them up in a sentence as great character arcs. Yes, the stories, the dialogue, the action, the twists, the turns, the devastation--it's all a masterclass in video game adaptations. but there's more to it for me. Another level I can't quite articulate but I'll try.

I don't want to live through the apocalypse. I certainly don't want to live to see a fungal pandemic. BUT I think there's a part of me that wants to be saved.

There's a part of me who is Ellie. Who is tough and fierce and a survivor. But who just wants to be wrapped up in the arms of someone who chooses me. Joel grabbing her and hugging her at the end of the episode wasn't because he just saved her from the bad guys. She saved herself. He is no longer obligated to her. But he wants to be there for her. He comforts her all the same. He is still there for her in the aftermath, happy to be reunited with her. Relieved. Thankful. Maybe I'm not like ellie. Because I feel like I do need rescuing. I can't do it by myself. I'm tired. I'm weak. I need help. I do want to be held. I want to be protected. I want to be saved from the bad guys. Dont' give me the gun. Put me on the horse, give me your extra coat, defend me with your life. Actually, Ellie does that for Joel in this episode. She protects him and fights for him. What an amazing person.

It's something that's tugged at me since the show started. The idea of being saved. Being protected. Specifically by someone as ruthless and hardened and not so likeable as Joel. But he's someone who is hardened for a reason. Someone who is guarded for a reason. i respect it, I admire it. I fear it. I wouldn't dare try to crack that nut. No I am nothing like ellie. she is fearless (on the outside). she doesn't care. i could never. I care too much.

And she does too. She cares. She risked her life to save Joel instead of running away. She went through hell and back and survived to meet him on the other side. I could never. I would have been hoping and praying to a god I don't believe in to please save Joel in time so he could wake up and protect me.

Please protect me.

I need someone strong, someone too closed off, someone who is a bit of an asshole--warranted or not--likeable or not. And no I didn't like him for awhile. I didn't hate him. I just saw him the way I saw a lot of people in the post-pandemic world. Just people trying to survive I guess. they have their reasons.

But as time went on, I still found myself thinking, yeah, wow, that's the guy I would want in my corner. Tough and cold and unloving as he might seem. You know he wouldn't hesitate to protect you. And then to see him soften up and grow fond of ellie, in his own way, and then outright hug her and hold her and show her affection. I felt myself in that moment become ellie. that's what I mean when I say i am like her I think. I became her in that moment. Small, vulnerable, scared, horrified, traumatized, relieved, in need of a friend.

what do I need to do to find me a joel? that's not fucking healthy. I don't want an emotionally unavailable 56 year old. that's some therapy material. though it doesn't hurt that he is very attractive somehow (I say that like the whole world wasn't simping after him). but I found it to be more than that. there's something about this character specifically--because I didn't think he was all that attractive before. now I get it. there's definitely some psychological bullshit to explain why I feel so attracted to this, not just sexually, but like on a mental and emotional plane. I feel so validated by this arc and I ache so badly to feel it resolved in my life. i don't know how to explain that or appropriately express it.

i want to live vicariously and feel protected by a grumpy guy who learns to love me. that's toxic af but it's how i feel and i have had some uncomfortable feelings unlocked. all the girls with daddy issues be like,.. hahah hahahah just kidding. or am i?

just please love me. please love me. please love me. take care of me. even if you hate me or can't stand me or don't understand why i am under your protection. please save me.

i wish i were like ellie. she is way more self-assured and confident than i am. yes she is scared and insecure in some ways. she's human. but she isn't scared and insecure in the ways that i am.

boy this show has me fucked up. this fictional piece of media. fuck you HBO and naughty dog. I wish i never saw it

[theteasetwrites]

The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning

Chapter 44: Every Ugly Thing

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader ❧ Era: Season 7 ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: violence, gore, character death, mild swearing ❧ Word Count: 4.9k

❧ In This Chapter: Surrounded by Saviors, and tortured by Negan, your group has to grapple with the death of two people, and the capture of your husband.

❧ A/N: Well, uh... merry Christmas! Yeah, I know. Not the best chapter to release on Christmas Eve, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles. This chapter aligns with the episode in which **spoiler alert** Glenn dies, so fair warning that it's very, very sad. Also, Daryl gets taken away by the Saviors, and that's just the icing on the cake for our dear Reader. Poor thing. She watches her friends die and she can't even get Daryl snuggles. :'(

You finally opened your eyes. You kept them facing forward, not leaving from one spot on the asphalt below you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the blood splatters from Abraham’s head stretching across the pavement in bright red blotches.

You breathed heavily, just looking down at the ground and still unable to comprehend what had just transpired. You were sure you were crying, too, but any feeling in your face had left. It was numb, and the tears ran down your cheek without feeling.

“Oh, my goodness!” Negan exclaimed happily. “Look at this!” He swung his bat and let the blood fly off it and sting several of you in the face.

He backed away a bit and looked up and down the lineup, then made his way over to Rosita. “Sweetheart,” he said to her, “lay your eyes on this.”

He shoved the bat, dripping with Abraham’s blood, into her face. She didn’t look, only panted and cried silently. “Oh, damn,” Negan said, looking between her and Abraham’s scrambled head. “Were you—were you together? That sucks.”

That bastard knew, you thought. They’d been watching you all since the attack, you were sure of it. They knew Rosita and Abraham were together, at least before he left her for Sasha, just as they must’ve known you and Daryl were together, and Glenn and Maggie.

They knew much more about your group than you knew about them, and that in itself terrified you.

“But if you were,” he continued to speak down to Rosita, “you should know, there was a reason for all this. Red—and hell, he was, is, and will ever be red. He just took one, or six, or seven for the team! So take a damn look.”

You scowled up at him, and you were sure you heard Daryl growl before he spoke again. “Take a damn look!”

Daryl grunted loudly, causing you to look at him. Before you could even comprehend exactly what he was doing, he was up on his feet, plunging his fist into Negan’s face.

“No!” you cried to him, reaching up to grab him.

Before you could, a handful of Saviors pushed Daryl to the ground and began kicking him in the stomach. “Stop it!” you cried, now breaking into a desperate sob. “Please!”

Negan wiped the blood from his mouth where he’d been punched, then raised his bat to point at you. “No!” he barked at you. Daryl breathed heavily and grunted as he tried to fight his way from the grip of the Saviors.

Negan smiled at you. “Oh, no,” he said, then laughed as he turned and looked back at Daryl. “That… oh, my! That… is a no-no. The whole thing, not one bit of that shit flies here.”

Your lips quivered and you breathed shakily, your waterlogged eyes only focusing on Daryl’s body as he was held down.

One of the Saviors let up, and Dwight came into view with Daryl’s crossbow pointed directly at Daryl’s head. Your eyes widened. “No!” you cried, beginning to crawl desperately before another Savior pulled you by the hair and slapped you. It didn’t keep you from trying. You had to try. “No, please! Oh, God, no!” you sobbed. “Leave him alone,” you muttered under your breath when Dwight didn’t let up.

“You want me to do it?” Dwight asked Negan. “Right here.”

Negan grabbed Daryl by the hair and looked down at him, eliciting an enraged growl from Daryl.

“No,” he said. “No, you don’t kill that. Not until you try a little.”

Your eyes widened when the Saviors who had held him down dragged him back in line next to you. “D-Daryl,” you stuttered quietly, causing the same Savior who pulled your hair to kick you in the back, making you double over.

Daryl growled and turned to react but was kicked down just the same. “And anyway,” Negan said as he rose to his feet. “That’s not how it works. Now, I already told you people—first one’s free. Then what’d I say? I said I will shut that shit down! No exceptions. Now, I don’t know what kind of lying assholes you’ve been dealing with, but I’m a man of my word. First impressions are important. I need you to know me.”

You lowered your head and breathed deeply, back and forth, trying to prepare yourself for whatever came next. Don’t ever be afraid. Dale’s voice echoed in your head like that of a priest delivering a sermon in a cavernous cathedral.

Nothing could prepare you for what happened next.

“So,” Negan said again. “Back to it.”

He turned swiftly and raised his bat to hit Glenn over the head with such force his body plummeted to the ground.

You whimpered and covered your mouth with both hands, unable to take your eyes away this time. It was too real to even avoid.

Daryl flinched next to you and watched Negan deliver yet another blow to Glenn’s head.

“No!” Maggie cried.

An image from the very pit of your worst nightmares, Glenn lifted his broken head from off the ground to look at her, groaning and gasping from the pain all the while.

There was a deep, fleshy depression in his head from where the bat hit him twice to crack the bone, and he was bleeding profusely. The pressure must’ve begun to knock his eye loose from the socket, because it bulged out prominently.

Glenn’s cries of pain and Maggie’s sobs of helplessness would haunt you for the rest of your life, you knew that already.

“Buddy, you still there?” Negan asked with a smile. “I just don’t know.” Glenn kept sputtering wordlessly, only making unintelligible sounds. “It seems like you’re trying to speak, but you just took a hell of a hit. I just popped your skull so hard, your eyeball just popped out! And it is gross as shit!”

You shook your head back and forth and sobbed uncontrollably as you watched Glenn try to speak, looking over at Maggie.

“Maggie,” he finally said, the blood clogging up his throat and distorting his voice. “I’ll—I’ll find you.”

You lowered your head and held it in your lap, closing your eyes shut and trying to tune out Negan’s voice as he kept speaking, and Glenn kept grunting and gasping in pain.

When Negan began raining down more blows onto Glenn’s head, the sounds of his pain soon stopped. All you could hear now was the horrible squelching and hitting of Negan’s bat on Glenn’s now fully split-open head.

You lifted your head a little, and you could now only see a spattering of blood, bones, and brains where Glenn’s head once was.

One of the first friends you made in this new world, the kid who grew up so much in such a short amount of time, the pizza delivery guy who became one of the best fighters you’d ever seen. That was all gone now, scrambled in front of you in a gory mess on the pavement only a few feet away from you.

Negan killed Abraham and Glenn, your rattled brain summarized. We’re surrounded by Saviors. We have to work for them from now on.

That was how you processed it, in simple, straightforward synopses. There was no time to think about it too deeply, about what you had lost, about the life you were going to live from now on. Or, lack thereof.

After all, what kind of life would it be, living in fear everyday that if you don’t appease Negan and the Saviors, one of your own will die?

That you must dedicate half of your rightly earned resources to a vile group of thieves and murderers?

Hardly a life at all, you thought.

Nevertheless, a voice from deep inside you said you wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“I’m gonna kill you,” Rick said to Negan. It was low, but you heard it.

Negan knelt down before him to meet his eyes. “What? I didn’t quite catch that, you’re gonna have to speak up.”

“Not today… not tomorrow,” Rick replied. “But I’m gonna kill you.”

“Jesus…” Negan said. “Simon, what did he have? A knife?”

The man with the receding hairline and booming voice, who you assumed must’ve been Simon, spoke. “He had a hatchet,” he said.

“A hatchet?”

“He had an axe,” Simon clarified.

Negan chuckled a little. “Simon’s my right-hand man,” he said to Rick. “Having one of those is important. I mean, what do you have left without ‘em? A whole lot of work. Do you have one? Maybe one of these fine people still breathing. Oh, or did I…”

You looked back down at the asphalt, trying to contain your rage. That was all that was left now, just a whole lot of rage.

“Sure,” Negan said suddenly. “Yeah, give me his axe.”

Moments later, Negan suddenly grabbed Rick and began dragging him into the motor home. Soon after, the engine roared to life and you saw Negan driving it off somewhere, with Rick inside.

You sat there with the others for hours before they came back. The sun was rising now, and Glenn and Abraham’s bodies were still sprawled out where they had once sat.

Negan tortured you all once again by trying to force Rick to cut off Carl’s arm. He had several Saviors point their guns to everyone’s heads, and threatened to have you all killed if he didn’t do it.

“You—you don’t have to do this,” Michonne begged. “We understand. We understand.”

“You understand, yeah,” Negan replied. “I’m not sure that Rick does.” He turned back down to Rick as he knelt over Carl, who was laying on the ground with his arm out and a line drawn where Negan wanted the cut to be. “I’m gonna need a clean cut. Right there on that line. Now, I know this is a screwed up thing to ask, but it’s gonna have to be like a salami slice—nothin’ messy, clean, forty-five degrees. Give us something to fold over. We got a great doctor, the kid’ll be fine. Probably.”

He kept pestering Rick, trying to get him to chop off his own son’s arm. You just watched in horror, with the feeling of the barrel of a gun behind your head. At this point, you didn’t care if you died. You wanted it to be over.

“Not making a decision,” you heard Negan say when Rick still hadn’t done the deed, “is a big decision. You really want to see all these people die? You will. You will see every ugly thing.”

Rick was sobbing now, looking around in confusion. You had never seen him so vulnerable, so unable to lead. You didn’t blame him, not in the slightest. There was no way of getting out of this situation.

“Oh my god,” Negan exclaimed. “Are you gonna make me count? Okay, Rick. You win. I am counting. Three!”

“Please,” Rick sobbed. “It can be me. Please!”

“Two!”

“Please, don’t do—”

Negan slapped him across the face, then grabbed his chin to force him to look at him. “This is it.”

Rick screamed and cried. “One!”

He raised the axe, Glenn’s axe, sobbing uncontrollably.

Just then, when you closed your eyes and felt the tears squeezing out and down your cheeks, Negan stopped him. “Rick,” he said. “You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right?”

Rick nodded his head frantically. “Right.”

“We did it,” Negan said to you all. “All of us, together. Even the dead guys on the ground, hell, they get the spirit award for sure. Today was a productive damn day! Now I hope, for all your sake, that you get it now… that you understand how things work. Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you, that is over now.”

Whatever you had going for you.

You didn’t need Negan to tell you it was over. You already knew it. The happy life you had in Alexandria, the feeling of safety and stability, the prospect of a future… with the people you loved, with your brother, with Daryl… the baby you’d never get to have if this was the life you had to live, the life your child would have to live.

You would never want them to live this life. A life of living in fear.

“Dwight,” Negan said, then pointed his bat to Daryl. You looked up and began breathing heavily, awaiting whatever horrors were in store. “Load him up.”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head vehemently. “N-no,” you stuttered breathlessly. “Pl-please, please.”

You couldn’t fight back much, Daryl was already being dragged away and lifted back into the van by Dwight. He fought back weakly, making himself a dead weight and flailing his arms haphazardly. He grunted and groaned, looking only at you as he was stuffed like a caged animal into the back of the van.

You sobbed again, crying profusely at the sight. You had no idea what they were going to do to him, but you now knew what they could do, and that terrified you deeply. You held your hands on either side of your head and ran your fingers through your hair in frustration. “Oh, God,” you sobbed as the doors were slammed shut.

You stared at those damn doors for what seemed like hours, until you heard Negan’s voice again.

“He’s got guts,” he said to Rick. “Not a little bitch like someone I know. I like him. He’s mine now. But you still wanna try something? ‘Not today, not tomorrow,’ I will cut pieces off of… hell’s his name?”

You narrowed your eyes at Negan and tensed your muscles, feeling so incensed that you could’ve pounced on him and ripped out his jugular with your teeth for what he’d done, for whatever he was going to do, for taking your love away from you.

“Daryl,” Simon told him.

“Wow,” Negan laughed. “That actually sounds right. I will cut pieces off of Daryl and put them on your doorstep.” You shook in rage at the man even saying his name. “Or, better yet, I will bring him to you and have you do it for me.”

Negan patted Rick’s back and stood up with a smile. “Ah! Welcome to a brand new beginning, you sorry shits! I’m gonna leave you a truck, keep it. Use it to cart all the crap you’re gonna find me. We’ll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then, ta-ta.”

With that, the Saviors were gone, and so was Daryl. You watched the van he was in leave until you couldn’t see it anymore, then you just stared down at the ground again, shaking your head in disbelief at what had transpired.

The rest of that day was a blur until you returned home to Alexandria around noon. Aaron helped you to your bedroom because you couldn’t physically make it up the stairs without sobbing.

You made a mental note to thank Aaron when you felt better, if you ever felt better.

He forced you in the shower, then laid out some pajamas for you. When you were dressed, you heard him knocking on your bedroom door. “Are you decent?” he asked, his voice not as lilted as it usually was. He was there, too, you had to remember. He saw what happened.

You plopped yourself onto the bed, trying not to notice one of Daryl’s shirts he’d left on his side a few days ago. The whole house reminded you of him, and it reminded you that he wasn’t there.

“I’m good,” you said with a sniffle.

Aaron opened the door and gave you a weak smile, then approached the bed to lift the sheets over you.

You shook your head. “You don’t have to tuck me in, Aaron,” you said.

He ignored you and brought the duvet up to your chin before flattening the blanket. “I know,” he said. “Used to always do it when you were little, though. When I had to babysit you.”

You nodded your head at the memory, though it was faded and the only thing you could see in your head right now was that bloody mess from earlier.

“Yeah,” you said. “You were bad at it then, too.”

Aaron sat himself on the edge of the bed and pulled you in for a hug, rocking you back and forth for a while. You tucked your face into his shoulder and cried, and he began crying, too.

“I was—was so scared,” you sobbed, “that it was gonna be you.”

“Me too,” he replied, his voice breaking. “When Daryl hit him… I thought for sure he’d…”

You nodded. “I know,” you assured him. “I did too… I wish he would have taken it out on me, not—not… Glenn.”

Aaron pulled away. “Don’t say that, (Y/N). None of us deserved it. What he did… it’s evil.”

You looked down at the pajamas you were wearing, the pink Hello Kitty ones that Daryl always made fun of. “He took him,” you said. “Daryl… oh, God, Aaron.” You looked back up at him to meet his worried face. “What am I gonna do?”

You hated to feel so bad for yourself. Maggie, Sasha, and Rosita had watched their men get killed in one of the most brutal, horrible ways you could think of. And here you were, your husband only being taken away to an unknown fate. You weren’t sure if you’d ever see him again, and if you did what state he would be in. Still, at least you last saw him alive, with his head intact.

It was the not knowing that was driving you crazy, that you knew would continue to plague you for an indeterminate amount of time.

Aaron cupped your face in his hands. “You’re gonna do what Daryl would want you to do,” he said. “Stay strong.”

You scoffed as you cried. “What the hell does that mean?”

Aaron shook his head as he thought, then sighed. “I don’t know. I wish I knew what to say to you, (Y/N). Some kind of… advice. Or something to just make you feel better, but I don’t. Dad was better at that kind of thing.”

You sniffled and wiped your nose. “He was,” you agreed. “I wish he was here now. Maybe… if the world didn’t suck.”

Aaron was silent for a while again, then took your hand in his. “We’ll get him back,” he said to you. “We will. And he’ll be fine. You heard what Negan said. He’s not going to kill Daryl. He likes him.”

You closed your eyes and sighed at the memory of what Negan said. “Daryl’s never gonna do what he wants, though. You know that. He’s too headstrong, won’t give him the satisfaction. Not even if… it’s what keeps him alive.”

“That’s what Negan likes about him,” Aaron argued. “He likes how stubborn he is.”

You shook your head. “I’m going to kill him,” you said firmly. “For what he did to Glenn, to Abraham… what he tried to do to Carl and Rick, and for taking Daryl. I won’t give shit to him.”

Aaron hesitantly left you alone after a while. You managed to convince him that you didn't need looking after and that he should go back home to see Eric.

In turn, Aaron insisted upon you staying home. Rick organized a meeting that evening to inform the Alexandrians of what they were up against, and that the Saviors would be coming soon to collect their half of Alexandria’s resources.

You did as Aaron wanted and stayed home, but you didn’t enjoy any minute of it.

The whole place reminded you of Daryl. His scent was on all of your clothes and linens, and every time you passed by the Polaroids Glenn had given to you from your wedding day, you couldn’t help but sob, both at the memory of Glenn’s constant photo-taking and from the images themselves.

"Hey, let me take a picture of everyone," Glenn's kindly voice echoed in your head, the sound reminiscent of the tinny phonograph playing in your grandmother's living room, only much more ethereal, almost angelic.

Daryl shook his head firmly and playfully blocked the lens of Glenn's old Polaroid. "Nah, no way. Got enough pictures."

It was true; Glenn had taken pictures of almost every milestone at your small wedding—the moment you walked down the aisle with Aaron, the "handing off" to Daryl, the kiss...

You lightly smacked Daryl's shoulder with a laugh. "Don't listen to him," you assured Glenn. "He loves pictures."

With a series of grumbles from Daryl, everyone staggered themselves atop the small set of stairs leading to your front porch, with you and Daryl in front. Aaron, your only remaining family, stood by your side, and Rick stood by Daryl as he held Judith, where Merle would have surely been standing if he had made it.

Daryl mustered up his best smile, which was surprisingly big for the man who tried to be as serious as possible in public. No teeth, but a wide, lopsided grin that portrayed just how giddy he really was that day. You remembered it well, every bounce in his eager step, every jolly laugh he shared with Glenn and the others, every little touch and kiss he bestowed upon you when no one else was looking.

He wrapped his arm around you, resting it on your waist, and you placed your hand on his chest for the photograph. You smiled, too, so much so your eyes were practically closed and your cheeks were higher than you thought physically possible.

Daryl always thought it was a funny picture of you, how utterly blinded by happiness you were in it.

Though he grumbled about the pictures, he loved every single one. He could take or leave how he looked in them. He was dressed much more nicely than he'd been since the last time he went to church, which was God knows how long ago, and his hair was completely out of his face, but he really didn't care about any of that. All he looked at in those pictures that hung on the wall by the front door (where you kept the picture of yourself, Aaron, and your father, too) was you.

It was his favorite place in the whole house. He loved his garage, but he loved seeing you in your happiest moment the most. You knew for a fact that he kept a few Polaroids from the wedding in his jean pocket at all times, and sometimes you'd catch him standing there smiling as he reminisced, usually doing something else like taking off his boots or putting on his vest. Other times, he'd just be standing there to admire the photographs.

Usually, you did the same, but now you could hardly bare to look at them without crying. Not from happiness, as you were wont to do, but from a melancholy that was previously unknown to you. One that stung and bruised and marred more than anything you'd ever experienced.

You'd lost three homes; witnessed countless deaths of your loved ones; been assaulted, deathly ill, hit by a moving car, shot twice, beaten to a bloody pulp, starving and homeless in the woods, and yet nothing could prepare you for the pain of not knowing what was happening to your husband.

Daryl was everything to you. Nothing, no house, no clothing, no running water, no material comfort, meant anything to you without him. You hated to admit it, because it made you feel like you were too dependent on him, but you were utterly lost without him.

He was a part of you, a piece of you that left behind a vast and lonely emptiness when it was missing. The only reason you didn't consider this an unhealthy dynamic was the fact that Daryl was so good to you, so sweet and loving. You felt his love for you in everything he said and did. In every sense of the word, you needed him.

What could you say? You loved him, much more than you ever loved anyone.

You couldn’t even bear to look at your wedding ring, or the necklace Daryl made you. You kept them on nevertheless, but a million thoughts raced through your head whenever the pale purple amethyst came into view. Mostly, they were of whatever heinous things they were doing to him.

Negan might’ve liked Daryl, but he wasn’t going to play along with his games. He’d fight back, and he’d be punished for it. You knew that.

When night came, you couldn’t sleep. You attempted to wrap yourself in Daryl's discarded shirt like a burial shroud to comfort you. It still had his smoky scent of pine and tobacco, the same one that lured you to sleep every night. Still, you couldn't find the peace to fall asleep. You were missing his warmth, his arms wrapped around you, his protective body cradling yours so tenderly and yet so firmly. It always felt like nothing could ever hurt you when you were like that, primarily because Daryl simply wouldn't allow it.

It was common for you to have trouble sleeping when Daryl wasn’t there to hold you, but it was worse under these circumstances. There were brief moments where you were sure you lost consciousness, but every time you closed your eyes you saw a frightful vision of Daryl’s head being caved in by Negan’s bat. By morning, you were exhausted, but still unable to fall asleep.

Nevertheless, you had a day off from class, so you went with Michonne to gather some supplies and food. The Saviors were coming back in a week, and now the most important thing was appeasing them. It wasn’t what you wanted to do. Hell, what you wanted to do was storm into wherever their base was, wherever Negan lived, and kill every last one of them for what they did to Glenn and Abraham. Then you’d rescue Daryl and take him back home. You knew it was too soon, though.

No one had the slightest idea of where their main settlement was, or where Negan lived, or where Daryl was being held, or how many numbers they actually had.

You got an idea at the lineup, but that must’ve been only a portion of them. There had to be even more. Their operation was huge to be able to pull off what they did, wrangling all of you together in one place. There was no way out of this for the foreseeable future, and that was something you had to come to terms with. For the time being.

“Do you think…” you began to ask Michonne as you drove away from Alexandria, hoping to find as much food and supplies as possible on your run.

Michonne looked at you. “What?”

You tightened your grip on the steering wheel, then sighed. “Do you think we’ll be able to fight them? I mean, sometime… soon.”

“Yeah,” she said. “We have to.”

You nodded. “We do,” you agreed. “What they did… what they’re doing, they have to pay.”

“They do,” she said. “But we need to play along for now, make sure no one else gets killed until we have a plan. Going in there half-cocked will only make things worse.”

“I know that,” you said.

Michonne looked at you seriously. You noticed her stern stare out of the corner of your eye.

“(Y/N),” she said. “I know you’re not stupid, so don’t do anything stupid.”

You looked at her briefly, then focused on the road again. “I won’t. Even if I want to.”

Michonne nodded. “You want to go get him, right?”

You bit your lip. “Yeah,” you admitted. “Yeah, I do… I really, really do.”

“We’ll get him,” she said. “He’s not dead.”

“I know,” you convinced yourself. You were quiet for a while, keeping track of the road signs for the turn-off. “Ya know,” you began, “I was so pissed at him for leaving that day.” You shook your head at the thought of the fight. “He was in the garage, in the morning, tinkering with his bike, as usual… it was different though. I knew he was going to try to find Dwight. I just did. He couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t blame him, but it wasn’t the right time.”

You paused for a moment, trying to recall all the words. “I asked him where he was going, what he was doing. Told him I wasn’t okay with it. He started yelling, about—about not being able to protect everyone. How I must’ve been embarrassed of him. At some point I called him an asshole.”

You choked up a bit, remembering the moment Dwight shot him, the moment he was kicked and beaten by the Saviors, and the moment he was shoved into that van and taken away.

“I—I wish I could take it back,” you said. “Wish I didn’t call him that, even though he was acting like one. I didn’t know that might’ve been the last day we were… together.”

Michonne shook her head. “You’ll see him again. You’ll be together again, I promise.”

You turned to smile at her weakly before looking at the road again. “You can’t promise that,” you said. “Thank you, but you can’t. I don’t want you to. You don’t have to carry that burden.”

Michonne smiled back, a small smile but a tender one. “It’s not a burden. I always keep my promises.”

You laughed a little through the crying, then wiped your tears away. “He’ll be okay,” you nodded to yourself. “He always is.”

~

Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are always appreciated!

Series Masterlist Next Chapter ➳

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[unluckilyimnot]

Chifuyu my beloved 💔💔 that one episode is gonna give me nightmares for a while…. I know it’s not real but still. The thought. Of chifuyu (spoiler alert if you haven’t seen episode 24 I think?). Being dead. *sobs* anyways…. Is there any possible chance that I could request fem!reader having a nightmare that chifuyu died and him comforting her T_T? if not no worries! But if you do— bless you soul omg…thank you for all your hard work! Have a good day!

I'm traumatized, I swear. I can't handle seeing characters being shoot in the head now 😭😭

I can totally do that ! Thank you so much for asking ♡ you're so sweet

Nightmare

Future!Chifuyu x f!reader - Hurt to comfort

Warnings: character death (obviously).

Words count: 661

English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there're any mistakes ♡

"...he's dead."

Your heart just stopped at those words. Chifuyu is what ?

It was a routine to get a phone call from the hospital to tell you that your boyfriend was there, hurt, and that you must come take him home. And you just naturally stop thinking that the worst could happen. But there you were, gripping hard on the counter of your kitchen while you start realizing. Tears coming to your eyes as you felt like throwing up : it's impossible. 

He promised you that he'll come back tonight too, he couldn't just do that to you ! Gasping for air, you choke on it as your knees pass out under your weight. Ugly tears ruining your makeup, you were now drowning in sadness so deep that you felt like you'll never get out of it. Denial hitting so hard, you start to repeat "no", over and over, like it would change what happened. Like they would say to you that it's a joke. 

Hitting your fist on the ground,

you opened your eyes suddenly, your breath short and a numb feeling all over your body, like waking up from a dream. Well, a nightmare. Your heart was beating so hard that you could feel it through all your chest. Blinking a few times, you let out a weak sigh while getting up on your arms. Checking your phone, it was 4 in the morning and there was no call from the hospital. Your heart starts to calm a bit, letting you catch your breath, realizing that nothing was true. You finally turn around to see Chifuyu, sleeping next to you, his black hair all over his face, alive. 

Tears came back to your eyes but in a good way this time, released that he was still there with you. Slipping into his arms to hear his heart, you try to not wake him up. But the light sleeper he is wake up with your arms wrapped tightly around him. Hearing your trembling wheeze worried him immediately. 

"Hey, what's wrong ?" He asks with a deep, sleepy voice, holding you back. You shake your head into his chest, letting him feel the wetness of his shirt. Taking your cheek in his hand, he was dead serious now. "Tell me, please, are you okay ?" Pushing away the tears from your cheek, he was begging you, not liking at all the sight of you crying. 

Closing your eyes, you tried to calm your tears before answering, "I had a nightmare..." Chifuyu flipped you on his chest, stroking your back to encourage you to continue. But you hide in his neck, scared to talk but also knowing well that he won't let you go like this - even more after seeing you crying. "You were dead. I've got a call from the hospital telling me this and I can't just imagine what I would do if it happens one day, I-" 

Getting your head up to face him, he smiles sweetly at you before kissing your nose, "I'm right here, breathing and all, you checked yourself." Pulling you closer for you to leave your forehead against his, his thumb on your waist, drawing patterns, was there to make you feel better. "I'm fine, and you are too. We'll get up together this morning and go to bed together after the day. I will always come back to you love," he kissed you, "always." 

Finally smiling at him, you take his face with both of your hands and kiss him back, slowly, happy to feel him holding you closer if it's even possible. "I love you so much," you whisper against his lips and he smiles at your words. Pecking your lips for the last time before turning around and leaving you on the mattress but in his arms, he said "I love you too, feel better ?" As you nod, he kissed you head, "let's go back to sleep then."

Nuzzling against him, you could definitely do that. 

There you go! I'm still not the best with angst, I hope you like it ♡

[doctorofmagic]

My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.

[superlocktvd]

Heartstopper

Hello Guys,

Its been over a month that Heartstopper released, and every time I think the fandom is slowing down, a new interview pops up, following which a new info about the cast pops up following which you get the greatest news that can be there for a show  which is not 1 but a 2 season renewal. 

All hail Alice Oseman for this series!!!! Netflix too for not (in a polite manner) fucking it up.

I have a lot of thoughts, which were put on hold due to the normal life because one needs to do all that to have simple pleasures in life. Over the month there hasn’t been a day I haven’t read about Heartstopper. When I first saw the teaser it promised itself to be a cute story in a very rom-com setting. The trailer came and my interest was piqued. Netflix dropped all its episodes on 22nd April and binging it was the only way to do it. It took me roughly 4-5hrs and in lack of better words I wasn’t the same. 

The show is Perfect. I don’t think any words suits it. It’s perfect who already recognize themselves, it’s perfect for those you are discovering and learning about themselves, it’s perfect for those who need to check their action and behavior, it’s perfect those who don’t know how to approach this side. 

Let’s start with basics shall we,

Storyline - Alice Oseman giving us what we didn’t know we ever needed. Although the graphic novel came back in 2016, which has a following itself, the show was decided to be adapted in 2019 and today in 2022 we finally have this beautiful piece in front of us.

Casting - A1, I don’t think you could have found anyone better for their roles if you searched with a candle anywhere. It’s like God was so impressed with this graphic novel that he made sure we have freaking re-incarnations of these characters. Kit, Joe, Yasmin, William, Sebastian, Corinna, Cormac, Izzy, Rhea and Tobie all were downright commendable. Hat’s off to you guys because no one could have done it better, especially when for so many of them it’s their first acting credit. Sebastian Croft and Cormac, you both easily bring out something in me that should not be named which goes to show how much I hate Ben and Harry, an unhealthy amount easily though. Please seek therapy. 

Cinematography - Probably one of the best I have seen. Especially the Tara Darcy Kiss, because that scene is supremacy. It embodies everything good about being in love because that’s what it is all about isn’t it, to find someone you love even if it’s yourself. 

Emotions - I have laughed, cried, sobbed, smiled, got angry and every other emotion that could possible existed has been felt during this watch. Also the other 4 times of re-watching. It’s always the same which is saying something. They were not overboard or fake, but natural and I think it resonated not just with me but everyone who watched it given the success it has risen to and continues to do so. 

Music - By god, I have never heard a better playlist than Heartstopper, it was like every track was custom made for all the different situations that were happening. The songs embodied the situations perfectly because even without saying you can understand a lot just lyrics. 

A lot of us regardless of age have been able to relate with different experiences that have been portrayed in the series. A lot of us have had nostalgia, something to reminisce and relive those ugly, harsh and even traumatic memories because the world and this society has not always been kind to those who don’t fit in their mold and idea of a person should be. 

This series was treat to watch and highlighted so many things from the smallest things that matter to the biggest of conversations that needs to talked about. I’m  thoroughly grateful for Netflix for renewing this show and I just hope the integrity, the soul and the charm this show had in season 1 is carried well into the other 2 seasons. 

Can’t wait to see these people grow and succeed. The best is yet to come. 

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group B Round 3: #B4 vs #B7

#B4: Human falls in love with an android

#B7: Kid epicly procrastinates during class

Details and poll under the cut!

#B4: Plastic Memories

Summary:

Eighteen-year-old Tsukasa Mizugaki has failed his college entrance exams, but after pulling some strings, he manages to land a job at the Sion Artificial Intelligence Corporation. SAI Corp is responsible for the creation of “Giftias”—highly advanced androids which are almost indiscernible from normal humans. However, unlike humans, Giftias have a maximum lifespan of 81,920 hours, or around nine years and four months. Terminal Service One, the station Tsukasa was assigned to, is responsible for collecting Giftias that have met their expiration date, before they lose their memories and become hostile.

Promptly after joining Terminal Service One, Tsukasa is partnered with a beautiful Giftia named Isla. She is a Terminal Service veteran and considered the best in Giftia retrievals, contrary to her petite figure and placid nature. Time is fleeting though, and Tsukasa must come to terms with his feelings for Isla before her time is up. No matter how much someone desires it, nothing lasts forever.

Propaganda 1:

This anime is a heart-wrenching masterpiece. It is slow, tender, and incredibly cathartic. The art is beautiful, and the story is enchanting. Of all the random anime I watched in middle school, this one really stuck with me.

Propaganda 2:

My brother and I watched it together. He ugly sobbed at it so hard, he had to go stand outside and weep down the phone to someone and my mom thought that he’d received news of someone’s actual death. He was okay, though, I promise

Trigger Warnings: [Not Stated]

#B7: Tonari no Seki-kun: The Master of Killing Time

Summary:

All Rumi Yokoi wants to do is focus during school, but she is constantly distracted by Toshinari Seki, her neighboring classmate. Paying attention during class is the least of Seki's worries, as he obsesses over intricate setups created using an assortment of items, from an elaborate domino course on his desk to a treacherous war played out with shogi pieces. Yokoi desperately attempts to focus in class, only to be repeatedly sucked into his intriguing eccentricities; however, they always seem to end up with her getting in trouble with their teacher. Fortunately, lessons will never be dull with Seki's antics around!

Propaganda 1:

Seki-kun is the sort of anime that stays underrated because it seems overly simple, but it really shines in its simplicity. The episodes are short tales of Seki’s epic procrastination and they’re absurdly amusing. Both the opening and ending are super funny and really well-thought-out.

It’s the anime equivalent of a hard candy. You can have an episode at the end of the day or between tasks, and it entertains you well without asking for much.

Propaganda 2:

It is a really short anime with very short episodes but is still very entertaining, and we never hear the character whose name is in the title speak but we still get a really good feel of his personality. It’s just really funny and a lot of fun to watch.

Trigger Warnings: None

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

[licuadora-nasir]

hiii, i loved your last fanfic with lance <333 could you write headcanons of ezarel seeing gardy again and how he would fall in love again with her?? i love your writing

Hi there! This was such a special ask for me 🥺. I was Ezarel's route in origins, and I nearly cried for two weeks after episode 30 cause I knew he wasn't returning.

Also, I saw the other ask and thank u so much for wishing me a good time on my vacation! I even got tanned, though I got a lot of freckles too 😑.

Aaaanyway, I'm already working on the rest of the requests! But I have like... Seven? 🤣 So it may take me a while.

This turned out to be more oriented to Ez's returning, but I hope you enjoy it!

Ezarel's return hc under the cut

Knowing that Erika awoke was... Pretty tough for Ezarel.

He's a very independent person who has endured loneliness and being closed-up over the years. Losing Erika like that was a hard hit on his life.

Her presence changed him forever after all.

The last time he saw her, he spoke to her, was on the battlefield, where both of them were facing death. The last glance she gave to him before ridding (no perv thoughts on this, I'm seeing y'all) Valkyon was the only goodbye he could get.

Everything was emptiness and loneliness after that.

So, when Twylda came in a rush to tell Ezarel that Erika had awoken... He was genuinely astonished.

He never paid too much attention to the new occurrences that may or may not happen in the HQ. Since he spent most of the time locked up in his cottage making concoctions or any other remedy that he was requested, Marie-Anne and Twylda were the ones who occasionally told them about the doings of the Guard.

He was hesitant at first. After years of grieve, he had had to learn to move on. To let the memory of his lover go.

He was mentalized that she would never come back.

He didn't do anything immediately. Taking a seat to avoid falling backwards out of shock, Ezarel considered the situation: Seeing her again could be far too painful. After trying to rebuild his life, go back to the same point was unthinkable. He couldn't didn't want to feel so desperate again because of the loss of a loved one.

But in the end, his fondness for her won the inner battle. Before being his lover, Erika had been his friend and a cherished person by all the HQ. She deserved at least a greeting after 7 years.

He decided to go on a small trip and visit their remaining friends in the HQ. Ez didn't pass by since he delegated his title as chief of the absent guard and Nevra had asked too many times to come to visit them, so her awakening was a good excuse for him to do all the liabilities he had been postponing.

After crossing those huge doors, being greeted by some old members and hug-crushed by Jamon, the first thing he did was looking for Nevra.

"Long time no see, ugly face" The look on the vampire's face was pure shock. With a shit-eating grin, the former member of the light guard rushed to greet and embrace his old friend.

They had a shortened conversation due to the new up-calling duties of the vampire but promised to catch up later. Before the vampire was gone again, he finally dared ask where was Erika.

"I think she's training on the gardens right now. Possibly with Lance and a new human called Mathieu that arrived a year ago."

He despised the sound of the name of the man who stabbed him and killed one of his best friends.

Ezarel understood the advantages and the good asset that Lance was for the guard (after all, before the dragon became Ashkore, Valkyon and both of them used to fight together and had good times joking and fooling around a bit), but the risks were too high. He couldn't forgive him for taking both his friend and his lover away from him.

He could have sworn that his heart almost ripped off his chest when he spotted her.

She looked stunning, marvelling, alive.

Dropping his bag on the floor, he muttered her name, patiently waiting for her to notice his presence.

The commotion plastered her features the moment she saw him.

Fused in a tight embrace, she practically clung to his clothes, the elf stroking her hair, trying to keep his cool and avoiding being carried away by the moment.

"I missed you."

Erika couldn't say much as her sobs were strangled on her throat.

After that fussed greeting, Lance and Mathieu called it a day and the Elf and Erika decided to have a long, deep conversation.

Whatever that'd been between them before her sacrifice... Was broken now. And trying to re-build it would take time and effort.

What was supposed to be a trip turned into a life-changing event.

With Huang Hua's offer, Ezarel agreed to work for the Guard of Eel again.

But this time, he specified that he didn't want to take any responsibilities, he didn't want to make the sort of choices that he would regret in the future. The kind that would hurt and damage his bond with Erika as he did in the past.

So this time, although still being part of the absence guard, he chose to assist in the infirmary's department.

Even though Eweleïn and Ez had had their story, now they were on good terms, and she always had been a good company that he enjoyed.

Being one of the most capable nurses alongside Ewe made his presence necessary in many trips (a very pleasant privilege, since he had always been very fond of travelling) and granted him much more free time.

Free time that he would always try to spend on Erika.

Because this time, it was different. He wasn't the chief of the absent guard. He didn't carry a great responsibility on his shoulders. He wasn't part of the light guard nor he was running from Lund'Mulhingar's tropes and hiding in the HQ.

He was free, and he chose to work in The Guard again in other to remain at Erika's side.

At the side of the only woman he deeply fell for.

Listening to her, taking care of her, loving her and being there for her. Because bad things were coming, and Ezarel did not doubt that all of her strength would be needed again.

Do you have any requests? Feel free to stop by my ask box! But first, please read this.