#please tell me this is relatable for other neurodivergent folk

[edge-oftheworld]

i know there's a run greyhound run in me but right now i'm tied up hazy and emotionally unaware

[drdemonprince]

What if your unmasked self is unacceptable even to other autistics? I feel like if I don't carefully curate myself I'm too weird and annoying to sustain friendships even with other weirdos. This thing where unmasking makes people like you more because it's more ~authentic~ just hasn't been true for me and it makes me really sad.

Well, what does "weird" and "annoying" mean in this case? In unmaskers I frequently see a lot of understandable social trauma playing out in, let's just say, not the most socially effective of ways at times. No longer mindreading and people pleasing and fawning is all to the good; becoming completely unfiltered while still harboring a ton of deep-seated fear of abandonment and then spilling it out all over people will understandably drive them away. No longer faking emotions and tone of voice preserves energy and helps us feel more genuine, but never putting any energy into trying to understand a friend's interests or emotions will kill a friendship.

There is a messy counterbalancing that has to occur for many unmaskers; at first we focus on never doing anything false and allowing our unbridled selves to roam free -- and then we often recognize that we will need certain self-advocacy, listening, communication, and even diplomacy skills to actually relate to other people, even while remaining true to who we are.

It's normal for the unmasking process to initially seem like it's making you harder to love, more annoying, more bizzaree -- that's a necessary corrective to having previously aimed to make yourself unremarkable or widely liked.

But if you find yourself repeatedly socially alienating even out and proud neurodivergent people, it may be worth asking whether you are taking actions that are pushing them away. Things like interrupting people when they are trying to open up to you, invalidating their feelings, seeking reassurances that no other person can provide, not interacting, self-victimizing, just generally hurtful interpersonal stuff that us traumatized folks sometimes do even in community with one another. If this is the case, you will have to work on accepting the feedback when people are kind enough to tell you that you're bothering them or disrespecting them -- it is not the end of the world, it is a habit you can notice and correct.

Or you might just still be withdrawing and inhibiting very hard, and doing self-protective things that convey to others that they should give you a wide berth. Lots of unmaskers give off really strong "dont talk to me dont come up to me i feel socially unsafe right now" vibes that are completely honest and authentic to where they are at the moment, even if they wish they could seem more welcoming. Please give yourself some grace to feel all that if that's what it is.

No one is too weird or too annoying to make friends. But you might need to find the people who are weird enough and mad enough and disabled enough for you. Alternatively, you might have some interpersonal baggage that affects how you treat others you still need to work on. Or your internalized disability stigma might just be telling you that youre being too much when youre barely taking up social space at all.

You know your pattern of experiences and the feedback others have given you, so hopefully you can sort out what is currently missing in your social life based on that and some reflection and more testing. Good luck and let me know what you figure out.

[owlhari]

a guide to not being ableist about norman becile

greeterings, fellow steam powered giraffe fans. while browsing becile content, i've unfortunately noticed a lot of ableism, both subtle and not, when it comes to folks talking about norman. i want to write a quick "guide" on how to not do that.

some disclaimers: this was not inspired by any particular post or user. it's a general trend i noticed, and to be fair, there are many years-old posts in this fandom with authors that may have changed since writing them.

don't take it as a personal attack if you realize you've done something mentioned in this post. take it as motivation to learn and grow!

also, i do not have a visible body/facial difference or an intellectual disability, but i am physically disabled and neurodivergent in multiple ways. i may have some "authority" on this topic, but don't take my word as the final say for any of this.

mini-essay starts below the cut.

let's start with language.

when describing norman and the 1950 incident, try to use neutral words. instead of saying he is deformed, disfigured, or crippled... say he was changed or transformed.

of course, if you are writing fic where a character is supposed to be ableist towards him, or maybe norman's feelings about himself immediately after the incident, it might make sense to use language with negative connotations.

but out of character, there's no excuse for using slurs. please don't call norman crippled. there are so many other words you can use.

why is neutral language important? because disability is not a negative thing by default. having a facial difference or a cognitive disability is not inherently bad.

(side note that yes, the official timeline uses language that is... maybe not the best. the official timeline also hasn't been updated since 2015.)

sort of related to language, look at canon for norman's speech patterns.

he appears in pages 11 and 12 of the comic, with plenty of dialogue. he does not speak "like a child" or have any apparent speech difficulties. of course, there's nothing wrong with that (i have a stutter! again, disability is neutral!) but the fact is norman speaks like every other character we see in the comic.

he enunciates himself just fine, he uses vocabulary you would expect an adult to use, he can be sarcastic and make jokes.

don't write dialogue for norman where he talks in the way you believe people with intellectual disabilities "should" talk. it just makes you look like a jerk who makes assumptions.

my last big point: wanda and norman's marriage.

it is canonical information that wanda walter married norman and took his last name. wanda's last name being becile in the timeline was confirmed by bunny bennett as not a typo or a mistake, she really did marry norman.

there is no reasoning given for their marriage, and they are never shown interacting in the comic. we don't even have a date for when they got together, aside from the fact that it was before 2015. however, this does not inherently mean their marriage was forced, that they're unhappy, or that wanda "had no other choice."

norman has been living at walter manor since at least 1956. if wanda truly did not want to be around him, why would he be there at all?

she has clearly forgiven him for what he did, else he wouldn't have been allowed to live with her for over fifty years. there are war-enhanced robots in the manor at all times, and you're telling me if norman made wanda uncomfortable in any drastic way, he wouldn't have been kicked out immediately?

of course, as i said, there is no truly canon reason behind their marriage. you're free to headcanon whatever you like. but if you're dead-set on writing that wanda was coerced or married him out of pity, i'd like you to consider why.

if norman didn't have a facial difference, if he wasn't disabled, would you be making those headcanons?

and finally... why does this matter, if norman's appearance isn't anything a human could possibly look like?

it matters because the way you talk about norman might come across as what you think of actual disabled people and it might make actual disabled people uncomfortable.

if your first thought when seeing norman in the comic (who, despite how little we see of him, seems happy and fulfilled) is that he must be a miserable man, suffering from his disabilities, with a wife who married him out of pity... i encourage you to do some reflecting about that.

thank you for reading. please be nice to disabled people, and have a wonderful day.

[temnurus]

Wangxian Top Ten Fic Recs

So. I got into MDZS/The Untamed back in February, & I've sort of fallen into a Wangxian black hole from which I am not sure I will ever emerge. Thusly, I've been reading a ton of Wangxian fanfiction lately & have acquired quite a few favorites. Naturally I had to eventually compile a rec list lest I combust with all the barely suppressed love I have for this ship.

Now you lucky people get to reap the benefits of all my hard work because not only have I ranked my top ten, I am also including a bunch of honorable mentions because I'm ridiculous & have no self restraint because I'm such a kind & generous person. Note that the honorable mentions are not ranked & are listed in no particular order.

Fair warning, all of these recs are rated Explicit because I enjoy either a sprinkling or a flood of adult content with my fics. It's far from the focus of many of them, but it's there to varying degrees in each. Also, some of these fics cover some heavy content that may be triggering for some folks, so please do mind the tags & any authors' notes for your own peace of mind.

And with no further adieu, onto the recs!

1. Scars Where They Used to Be by CwythanWind (E, 58,467)

Thoughts: I lost count of how many times I cried in this fic. It was gorgeous in every sense of the word. The characterizations were phenomenal. Wei Ying’s pain was palpable, & the pining was agonizing. Lan Zhan conveying his love through poetry made me sob like a baby twice. The prose was just that beautiful. I can’t recommend this enough. As soon as I finished it I knew it was going to become my favorite Wangxian fic, & nothing has managed to top it yet.

2. Beneath Your Skin by Wrenwolf (E, 147,201)

Thoughts: I was sold on tattoo artist Wei Ying from the word go, haha, but Lan Zhan as an antiques dealer was also surprisingly on point. I go on about characterization a lot in these recs, but I have to tell you that Lan Zhan's here is one of my absolute favorites. I felt like I'd crawled into his skin & was just living there right along with him. And don't get me started on Wei Ying in this fic. I just.. fuck, I cried so much, y'all, & it was incredibly cathartic. Nie Huaisang was my favorite side character in this, & they were an absolute BAMF! You can't go wrong with this one. It's just stunning.

3. Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 72,966)

Thoughts: This fic was full of sentiment: regrets, longing, & so, so nostalgic. The love of art was apparent & beautifully on display here, & it added a richness to the whole thing. I cried several times during this from the empathy I had for both Lan Zhan's & Wei Ying's experiences (can you sense a theme with my favorites making me overly emotional? lol). The tone got heavy in places, but it didn't feel graphic or overwhelming at any point for me. The writing was just fantastic, & I've enjoyed a few more of the author's fics since I read this one.

4. i'm gonna drown when you wake up by teenjiism (E, 51,752)

Thoughts: I related to this fic on several levels because both characters are portrayed as neurodivergent in ways that felt very authentic, & I rarely see it done as well as it was here. I have ADHD, & Wei Ying's headspace felt extremely familiar, ha. Lan Zhan & Wei Ying's friendship was so lovely here, too. I adored their easy intimacy & how they were each other's favorite person before Wei Ying even realized he was in love with Lan Zhan. Oh yes, this is another fantastic oblivious Wei Ying/One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fic. The pining was perfect, & the overall sweetness of their relationship made this a very floaty/happy reading experience for me, personally.

5. Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl (E, 60,318)

Thoughts: Continuing with the theme of One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again, this was a hilarious & heady fake dating scenario fic. His cluelessness reached new heights in this one, & I about died when he came up with the idea that naturally he & Lan Zhan should practice things like kissing for authenticity's sake. (Oh Wei Ying, you sweet summer child... he kills me; can you tell?) I loved how matter-of-fact Lan Zhan was about the whole thing, too. I laughed a lot during this fic. I even blushed a couple of times, too! Highly enjoyable & a must-read for me.

6. you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132,713)

Thoughts: None of the parents in this fic are doing a good job, but hey, they didn't in canon either, in my not-so-humble opinion. It's not what I focused on in the fic, but the tags certainly amused me. I haven't come across many texting fics in MDZS, so this was a pleasant & welcome surprise. The whole fic wasn't done through texting, but their text exchanges were SO CUTE. Lan Zhan texted exactly how I thought he would in this, & it made me laugh every time. The pining was lovely, & when they finally got to see each other in person again in New York I was glued to my computer until I finished the fic. I adored the tone of this one. It was great & just a really fun read.

7. and so my heart beats wildly by lily_winterwood (E, 106,435)

Thoughts: This was one of the most original modern AUs I've seen & featured competitive cultivation that had a Hunger Games meets professional figure-skating competition vibe. It was wild, but it made sense when I read it, I promise. The author was very good at fleshing out their world, & I was fascinated by the concept. Wei Ying once again failed to notice Lan Zhan was in love with him, & his confusion over their interactions never failed to entertain me. I never get tired of their dynamic, y'all, & it was just perfect here. I highly recommend this one.

8. Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128,916)

Thoughts: Ever seen So You Think You Can Dance or Strictly Come Dancing? This was basically that but Wangxian! Wei Ying was stunning as a professional dancer being handed a socially awkward, concert violinist Lan Zhan & having to teach him to dance in front of the nation for 12 weeks, & I absolutely loved Lhan Zhan in this. He was precious. The sexual tension during some of the dances was electrifying, & watching them fall in love over the course of the filming of the show was a delight to read.

9. Two Dollar Coffee by marizousbooty (E, 145,286)

Thoughts: I almost fell out of my chair laughing because how do you acquire an accidental sugar daddy?! Well, if you read this fic, you'll find out. One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again! Yeah, it's one of my favorite AO3 tags, so sue me, lol. The sex was obviously one of the highlights, which I am known to enjoy in a fic (don't judge me, Puritans), but it certainly wasn't the only thing that was well written here. I loved everything about this from beginning to end.

10. things that make it warm by yabakuboi (E, 33,327)

Thoughts: This fic hurt my feelings, not gonna lie. I cried ugly tears at the break up, but I've always had a hard time with reconciliation fics. It was very worth it, however. The way the fic covered their relationship growing & changing over time was very compelling, & a highlight of this for me was Wei Ying's relationship with the Wens, particularly A'Yuan. It was very sweet amongst an ocean of angst, haha. I read this in the span of a couple hours. Just couldn't be torn away. If you're a sucker for angst with a happy ending, then you might want to check this one out.

Honorable Mentions

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70,972)

Thoughts: This was so heartwarming I couldn't stop smiling over how adorable it was. Kid fics aren't typically a favorite of mine, but I do enjoy a really good one every now & then. This was one of the best I've read, to be honest. A'Yuan was the sweetest little angel, & he was so cute with Wei Ying spazzing out about every aspect of his care. Lan Zhan being the quiet, responsible source of reason & support was expected but of course always a welcome addition to the mix. Accidental Baby Acquisition isn't a tag I'd seen before, but it's a new favorite when it comes to Wangxian getting to be surprise parents together, haha.

undone (the spreadsheet song) series by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 282,452)

Thoughts: This is a two part series that tells the same story from each love interest’s point of view, a la Rivals by Reiya in the YoI fandom, which is one of my favorites of all time. Similarly, this story is also phenomenally written. I was sucked in immediately & read both fics over the span of like 3 days. I actually read Lan Zhan’s POV fic (the second in the series) in a single day. I was spellbound by the whole thing, couldn’t get enough. I highly recommend this. The characterizations are incredible, & the emotions are so intense I couldn’t help but feel everything right along with each of them as the story progressed.

My only word of caution is that if you have a hard time reading about Wangxian being intimate with people other than each other you might want to skim/skip those sections of the second fic like I had to. The author makes it fairly easy by giving a heads up in the author’s notes at the beginning of each chapter in which that occurs, which I very much appreciated.

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25,470)

Thoughts: This fic started with a very serendipitous first meeting between businessman Lan Zhan & Wei Ying, who he mistook for the (non-sexual) escort he'd hired for the evening. I nearly died of mortification right along with poor Lan Zhan when he figured out his mistake. Him confessing this to Wei Ying was painfully awkward & hurt my heart, but fear not! We all know I can't handle a fic without an eventual happy ending, haha. Watching their instant connection develop into something more was such a treat. I loved this fic quite a lot for it being a quicker read for me.

Multiphonics by androkastia (E, 63,705)

Thoughts: Wei Ying was such a lovable disaster in this (as he often is, bless him). Him & Lan Zhan both being in the orchestra was a fun idea, & I loved the author's choice of the harp for Lan Zhan's instrument. I thought it was very different from the usual violin or cello choice I've seen previously but still suited him perfectly. I also loved his overall characterization, down to his fashion sense being tastefully eclectic when his style is usually portrayed as very stuffy & conservative. I really enjoyed this college/university AU, & I've read quite a few of them at this point. So obviously this one stood out.

No Compasses, No Signs by brooklinegirl (E, 36,041)

Thoughts: Ah, finally! A soulmate fic. A Temnurus rec list really wouldn't be complete without at least one. This was a modern AU, which made it especially fun when their soul bond inexplicably manifested as they literally collided with each other on the sidewalk. It was painful watching them fumble for answers to why they suddenly knew things about each other they had no way of knowing only moments before, but the sweet conclusion made it more than worth the temporary angst.

A Haunting Love by Selenay (E, 64,621)

Thoughts: This was another very unique modern with magic AU, & I was nervous because Wei Ying was a ghost haunting Lan Zhan's new house in the quiet little town he moved to in order to write his next novel. Naturally Lan Zhan became ensnared by the mystery surrounding Wei Ying's departure. This had a very romantic feel to it, intensely poetic in a way that I found very alluring. There were even thriller-esque moments towards the end of the story, so it had a bit of everything, all of it equally satisfying to read.

love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360,042)

Thoughts: This was an example of a cool MDZS-specific trope I hadn't seen before, & in it Wei Ying, the infamous Yiling Patriarch, was a cultivator who had achieved immortality (aka, he's OP as fuck but in a fun way). The great sects enlisted his help to win the Sunshot Campaign, & what did he demand in return? Lan Zhan's hand in marriage, of course! It was a fantastic slow burn in which poor Lan Zhan suffered the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband. An amazing & complex plot, chock-full of angsty goodness.

a place to hide (can't find one near) by yiqie (E, 76,091)

Thoughts: I'm giving y'all a heads up first thing that this fic pulled no punches when it came to the heavier subject matter covered in the tags & author's note. Some of the descriptions were fairly graphic, so please take care of yourselves when considering this one. That said, it was a powerful portrayal of someone suffering from mental health issues & the long & often complicated journey of healing. This one also happened to contain a love story so beautiful that I was brought to tears several times by Lan Zhan's patient & loving care for his most important person, nevermind all the times I cried at the sad parts! I found the emotional cost of those very much worth the payoff of their happy ending, which is why I just had to include this one.

Just You, Just Me (Just Us, Just We) by wincechesters (E, 19,777)

Thoughts: Lan Zhan thought his brother made him an appointment at an acupuncturist & was aghast when he discovered it was for a session with a professional cuddler instead! Enter Wei Ying, gratuitous cuddle therapy, & his usual chaotic charm. Poor Lan Zhan being so overwhelmed while also becoming hopelessly besotted made me laugh, bless his fragile little heart. This was an adorable & light-hearted fic that made me want to go back & reread it almost immediately, haha.

my age has never made me wise by idrilka (E, 63,439)

Thoughts: I absolutely loved this. It was pretty CQL (The Untamed) compliant & told the post-canon story of Wei Ying wandering alone as a rogue cultivator after the events of the show. Of course he was pining after his zhiji the entire time, so when he heard gossip that the Chief Cultivator might be married by summer's end it nearly undid him. The angst was excruciating, but at the same time, One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fics somehow always manage to be fun at the same time. I've read several post-canon, wandering Wei Ying stories, & this one was particularly good.

[galacticscrotum]

Hello!

I don’t really like introducing myself.

I get stressed out trying to capture the essence of who I am in a reasonable amount of words. I’m far too complex for that. Not in a “I’m so complicated and cool and mysterious” way, but more of a “I literally don’t even fully have a grasp on my own existence” way.

So instead of trying to summarize my personality, I’ll just list some random things I’d like you to know if you follow me :) (If it’s too long to read, I put key info in bold)

My name is Em, it’s nice to meet you!

I’ve rotated around the sun 22 times. No wonder I’m dizzy.

I am autistic and have ADHD and CPTSD. All three conditions are intrinsically linked for me, I cannot fully relate to any of the conditions on their own without the other two.

I have several symptoms of BPD (abandonment issues go brrrrr)

I never want to speak over people with higher support needs so please (respectfully) tell me if something I say is incorrect or offensive.

Autism and neurodivergence are huge special interests of mine! (Comorbidities hellooo)

I have a ridiculous and sarcastic sense of humor. I’m a goose that is rather silly.

Communicating requires a lot of my energy, so I don’t like any criticism on how I do it, like how often I punctuate or what words I use. I’m doing my best to get my thoughts from my internal realm to the outside world.

I love to learn about anarchy and communism. Even more, I love learning about and imagining better ways of life outside of any common ideologies.

I am fucking queer as fucking shit.

My pronouns are they/them. she/he are okay too

I edit this post a lot.

I love you and I want to be your friend :)

I use :) a lot and I will not stop :)

I love The Sims 4! (I have three of the expansion packs, city living, cottage living, and cats and dogs, and I do use cheats, and I have wicked whims because tiddies)

I am half Slavic/Balkan and that’s important to me because I was disconnected and removed from my culture when I was 5. (Other half is boring western European white American). Began to reconnect with my culture when I turned 18.

Learning languages is sooo fun for me! Def a big special interest. I’m semi-fluent in Spanish, and have little knowledge of: Portuguese, Mandarin, Serbian, Russian, Hungarian, toki pona (this one is so fucking cool to me).

I love music and sharing recommendations! I used to play several instruments including viola, violin, cello, guitar, and piano. Viola is forever my main instrument. Haven’t played in a while though.

Music genres I like: reggaeton, Afrobeats, house/techno/EDM, 2000-2010s pop, Serbian folk/pop, Mexican/Chicano rap, Spanish guitar, punk rock, Falling in Reverse (genre of its own tbh).

I’m very interested in the origins of humanity, early human migration, language evolution, and related topics.

I like to sew and embroider :)

I’m not religious. I have been finding my own spirituality with Mother Earth and I love it. I like learning about others’ beliefs. I don’t care what your religion is, I’ll accept you as long as you’re not in my DNI list :)

As a queer, neurodivergent, mentally ill person, I will reclaim slurs if I choose to. If that offends you, block me. I’m not here to cater to your sensitivities, I’m here to freely express myself. The language is not being used towards you, you’re just being a cop.

Anonymous asks are now OFF because y’all can’t fucking behave 🙄

DNI: under 18, homophobes, transphobes, racists, bigots, bootlickers, ableists, misogynists, porn blogs, general assholes (I LOVE BLOCKING YOU BITCHES!!!!)

If you’re under 18 and want to interact just DNI with any of my posts labeled nsfw/mdni.

Thanks for reading :) Always open to questions! And memes. The more absurd the better.

[midnightlovestories]

Arguably, there are few things that we would call an indisputable canon in the Addams Family:

- they are close, loving and very supportive family unit - Gomez and Morticia are madly in love - they love all things macabre - they are not afraid of violence, death, dying, fighting etc. (Yes, yes I'm still salty about that bullshit swordfighting scene in Netflix's Wednesday)

And of course, Christina Ricci pretty much established what is perceived as canon for the character of Wednesday Addams.

Other than that? There's not much set in stone. Continuity? Please, TAF wouldn't know continuity if it stepped on it, things are all over freaking ship, so it's very likely that, as a fan, you will love some iterations of Addams Family and hate others, that is completely normal, not all content is created for you. Let's accept that.

At this point, with the success of Netflix Wednesday this fandom reached its, arguably, largest audience. Whether you hate or love the new show, is irrelevant - it's success is indisputable, and it brought a lot of new fans, often completely new generation of fans who will interact with the Addams Family in a completely new and different way than you or me or Jerry next door.

Does it irk you that creators and more and more fans focus on Morticia solely as a mother figure? Yeah, it irks me too, no really, it annoys the hell out of me but at the same time... it's my freaking problem not anyone else's, the least of all the new fans, and allow me to explain why:

How we react to any given character is deeply, deeply personal. We come to the show with our own, unique set of experiences and those experiences will largely inform which characters we're going to relate to and what those character will mean to us. It can be and, very very often is, completely irrelevant to canon.

So say, each iteration of Mortcia is slightly or even vastly different from the other but some people will inevitably see her as a surrogate mother figure (or Gomez and Morticia as dream parents, whatever) and there can be a number of reasons for that, maybe some folks just didn't have great parents, maybe they had no parents, maybe... whatever - it doesn't matter, they are allowed to see that character as parent figures even if others don't.

Do I see Morticia as a mother figure? Nope. Never did, never will, although she's a fantastic mother. To me personally, she was always a representation of bad ass, empowered femininity - a strong female role model. I adored her since I was about 6 or 8 years old but she was never a mother figure to me. I love how she's happy and content in her role as a wife and a mother - that's her thing, she adores her family and that's where her focus is and she's absolutely unapologetic about it.  She's like a really awesome, badass housewife, she's telling you to do you, irregardless what the current trends for women in society are, but especially, at the time when women were told to have it all blah blah blah, and being a housewife was all but frowned upon -  Morticia's like no thank you, fuck that shit (except those odd times when she wants to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade). And I always loved that, to me she exemplified the true meaning of feminism - the right to chose whatever the hell you want to do in life as a woman. Career woman? Go girl. Housewife? Awesome, if that's what makes you happy.

Where am I going with all this?

Bottom line, do you want to ship Wenclair - hon, ship them to your heart content if that's what brings you joy or helps you feel represented. Do you want to ship Gomez and Morticia ? - bless your little, tender heart, join the club! You want Morticia to be your surrogate mother - go ahead, enjoy! Do you want those characters to be the representation of your experience as a gay, trans, neurodivergent person? - baby, go for it. Especially if it helps you go through some really tough shit.

Yes, your personal fanon might disagree with mine, it might even piss me off - I might hate everything about it and secretely bitch about it to likeminded fandom members, and I do. I might hate your take on the Addams Family altogether - but remember! that's not your problem, it's mine. You do you, whoever you are.

[sangaverage]

About Me I guess

NOT AN RP ACCOUNT/BLOG BUT ROLEPLAYERS AND LIFESTYLERS ARE WELCOME TO VISIT!

that being said, I do post about VTM and VTR on occasion.

Please get yourself an icon and some posts behind you (not likes, though I will see if they are semi consistent) otherwise you may pass as a potential bot and get yourself blocked, thank you

At least be mostly Safe For work before considering a follow, thank you.

(porn blogs are blocked if it's irl nudity and makes me uncomfortable, I'm all for body positivity but some things I would rather not see grace my dash!

Nsfw text and not real nudity is acceptable but I will block of I feel it makes me uncomfortable!)

I do try to keep it as light-hearted as possible over here! But Things May Happen...

FUNDRAISERS/ COUNTRY AID NOTE:

I currently do not have a job due to my neurodivergence giving me issues with most if not all work environments, Therefore Also, I unfortunately am unable to donate money to any causes or charities. I am sorry about that! do know that I am generally upset about the same things going on as you are! but please please please, do not try to peer pressure me to donate money! Not only that but I don't trust alot of people I don't know on the internet with money because sometimes you honestly cannot tell what is legitimate and what's going to clone your bank information, (Again) be careful folks! It's unfortunate but it does happen and some people are more than happy to take current events as an excuse to swindle the weak or vulnerable!

-First things first despite what you may be thinking I am an adult lol.

-I reblog More than I post usually, But You'll Know Its A post of mine as ill sign off with an Ankh (☥)

-I'm rather eclectic and into many things but this blog is just/Mostly for the Vampyre part. any non vampire, autumn or demonolatry related posts will be marked as "Not vampire related" or if from me titled "not a vampire post..."

-other things include But are not limited to: VTM, VTR, Hardstyle Music, Metal Music, Anything Gothic, Halloween (like all the time lol), Autumn/Fall (its may favourite season), Bats, Crows, Monsters (In general), Video Games, Books (bonus points if there witchy or Vampire), Animal crossing, Monster hunter.

I am a and Accept/Respect:

-Sanguinarian(s)/Psychic(s)/Tantric Feeder(s)

-Nerodivergent person(s)

(Especially anxiety and autistic spectrum)

-A-spec(s) (both Autistic and Asexual, I'm Demi Myself)

-Witchcraft practitioner/ eclectic witch(s)(All faths and practices are fine, please be mature however)

-Vampyres

-i support Any LGBTQ+ (please No MAPs however)

-i support All Races (this should not have to be said but hey)

-i support System/DID

-i support Xenogender/Xenic

-i support Therian/Otherkin/Alterhumans/ Voidpunk etc

-i am okay with Roleplayers/Roleplay Blogs/ Kin for Fun (you are welcome here but bare in mind this blog is serious about its topics, minus the occasional post often VTM, VTR or tagged "just for fun")

-Minors, you are welcome to stay but please be safe! Discretion is advised (I only say this due to some more mature discussions such as Medical Blood consumption Etc)

PLEASE DNI:

MAP and affiliated

Antis of Therian/Otherkin/furry Alterhuman in general, Anti LGBTQ+

Anti Witchcraft (including LHP/ Darkwork/ Vampirism/ Baneful)

(Neo) Nazi and affiliated (again shouldn't have to be said but hey)

Porn blogs/ (heavy) IRL NSFW (art and text is okay but on thin ice)

NOTE 1: I personally see my vampirism as Spiritual as well as a completely normal side of myself, I didn't choose anything, I awakened and this is and always will be me. (your vampiric experience may vary)

I consider myself a "Ronin" Vampyre as I'm not a part of the larger VC (vampire community) due to too much squabbling in most Houses/Groups/Orders or just general disagreement over what that group stands for Vs what I stand for.

I'm not hurting anyone, call it escapism if you wish, don't like it, that's cool you don't have to, just don't be an ass about it.

(I also Have a YouTube, but that is a hobby and does not earn me anything right now!)

NOTE 2: As this is primarily a vampire blog, there will inevitably be some posts that contain Blood, mild gore, written (fake) violence etc! I do apply trigger warnings in the tags As "tw ______" but I shall re-warn you here!

Note 4: while I may not be a religion you are, I do accept you being that religion (unless its Nazi in any way sorry, I really shouldn't have to mention this) We all have different paths for different reasons, I respect that and so should you!

there may also be the occasional post that I will be unsure of the maturity of... if I feel or deem something is up with the image that certain eyes may not wish to see, I will tag it as "Nsft?"

-End Rant-

I would just like to share (again) that I also have a YouTube, It Has the same name as my blog (SangAverage) And covers stuff on Vampyres and also magick, Mostly from a Sanguinarian and slightly Spiritual Vampyre Perspective as well as somewhat Medsang.

You are welcome to come over and see if it's for you or not (Just pretty please behave yourselves either way! Comments are mostly on but moderated)

Here's your Link: https://youtube.com/@sangaverage-yt?si=1n15zrQiV1seOOJi

Userbox and Divider credits:

-anitalenia

-TheMotherboardSys

-Sangaverage

-Sangaverage

-Sangaverage

-sangaverage (just for fun lol)

^ icons for my userboxes are Mintaka code and found on SAVCC so credit to them

Don't be afraid to mutual me! I Don't Bite

(at least without Consent)

Thanks for your time See You all Across the veil In The Realm of SangAverage!

Or not whichever!

Enter Freely And of your own Free will!

And Sanguinarians: there's some useful resources for you in a dropdown menu if you go to my actual URL here!

I am trying to make my posts and anything I Reblog more inclusive to those who have a hard time reading/ Cannot read small text/ are visually impaired by adding notes to posts I seem important enough as "Screen reader ID (example text here!)"

[aro-absol]

It just occurred to me that maybe I should clarify something.

When it comes to disability posting, I tend to post a lot of stuff about physical disabilities and wheelchair users. I do that because I'm physically disabled and a full-time wheelchair user myself, so that content speaks most to me and is what I'm most passionate about.

That said, of course I care about mentally ill/ disabled people and people with other non-physical disabilities too. I hope you can understand that even if most of my disability-related posts will be specifically about physical disability, all disabled people are welcome here.

There are a few posts that are specifically about the struggles of physically disabled folk. With these posts, I'd like if you'd keep it on topic and don't make it about mentally ill, neurodivergent etc issues. But of course, you can always reblog (this goes for abled allies too, by the way). On posts that are about disabilities in general, I'm happy to your opinion (as long as you're not mean), no matter your disability.

This blog is a safe place for all disabled people.

If you noticed that I unintentionally said something ableist, please don't hesitate to tell me. I can only work on being better if I know I made a mistake in the first place.

Happy pride month to all disabled people!

[casual-music-enjoyer]

Get to Know Me + Ground Rules

Hello y’all! I am someone who listens to music a lot, and I also have a special interest in social justice. I am always thinking about the bigger implications of music when I am listening to it lolll so I figured I would blog about it!

This is me fully just combining my love of music with social justice, so if I am a complete nerd on here forgive me. I also speak in paragraphs about everything so never expect a short post! 

Here is some basic info below about me on here (if you know me irl it may be slightly different information):

Pronouns: they/them

White queer trans masc lesbian based in America & living in Western society

Neurodivergent, not telling you with what though because that stays between me and the Lord (or my therapist) 

Fav music artists: Evanescence, Mitski, SZA, Paramore, silk screamo, SOPHIE, Norah Jones, & more!

(i may post a topster at some point because the last time I made one was over a year ago)

Favorite genres: Alt Rock, Emo, Riot Grrrl, Punk, Screamo, Hyperpop, gay pop in general, Metal, Queercore, Indie, R&B, women rappers specifically, Folk, EDM, etc. 

(I actively listen to a good amount of genres and I'm open to music recommendations from ANY genre)

Fun fact/Music flex:

I went to girl in red’s first headline tour in the USA back in 2019 and it was absolutely gay and magical! Not trying to flex about anything music related after this (it may happen again if I am super excited about it)

So yeah! That is mostly what you need to know about me, moving onto ground rules now:

I will be talking about heavy topics here, so here are some ground rules that I want to establish here so everyone stays kind to each other and can have productive + beneficial discussions.

If you need to call me or anyone else out on ignorance or bad behavior, try to call them in! I am open to people calling each other (or me) out if there is no other way to deal with the situation. However I want to keep this space relevantly peaceful, so please use calling people in as the first line of defense. Here is a link explaining the difference between “calling out” vs. “calling in” and how to implement it: https://www.dictionary.com/e/calling-in-vs-calling-out/#

Do not be afraid to call me in or out on mistakes or ignorance. I would prefer if you call me in only because I am more than happy to talk things out with people who are reading this blog, and I genuinely feel that a productive dialogue can be easier through calling people in

RESPECT EVERYONE IN THIS SPACE! People’s lived experiences are not debatable, so do not even TRY to debate them. Use common sense and be respectful of others when you talk to them

If I see any disrespectful or bigoted comments, I will delete the comment + block you. There is 0 tolerance with this because I do not want anyone here disturbing the peace + vibes

Vegas rules (“what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas”) DO NOT apply here so if you share anything please be aware that it may be spoken of again (whether inside or outside discussion). Remember that tumblr is still a social media site, so be aware of what you are posting

That’s pretty much it for now! If any rules need to be added/changed I will update the post, and if you have any problems + questions with this list, feel free to reach out to me about it. I will also add any relevant info to the "get to know me" if needed as well.

Love y’all and happy reading <3

[pinkdogplushie]

Ok, um.

I've seen a lot of discourse regarding neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ headcanons in Encanto.

On one hand, it is true that a lot of fans (usually white, abled people) are reducing the characters to only their sexualities and genders, assigning foreign meaning to traditional objects, behaviors and color patterns. This comes from ignorance and white-centrism, and should be unlearmed if they want to engage in a fandom made for latinxs, by latinxs. I'm especially bothered by a trend I've seen of infantilizing Bruno. He's nd-coded, particularly autistic and OCD, so some fans have been trying to turn him into an uwu boy who can't stand up for himself and needs constant protection because he's fragile. Come on, folks, the man is 50 years old and has mad parkour skills, he needs family support and validation, not babying.

On the other hand, just because we should give significance to the cultural aspects of the characters doesn't mean we can't also headcanon them as neurodivergent and queer. We can do this without detracting from their main conflicts. Because latinx people can also be queer and nd. Bruno can have compulsions born out of superstition, things he did initially to bring good luck but now does because he's urged to. Isabela feeling obligated to marry Mariano can be both because of familial pressure and comphet. Camilo can have issues with his identity both related and unrelated to his gender. People are nuanced, motivations can be complex, and just because a character is working through generational trauma doesn't mean they can't have issues related to their personal identities. In fact, they can and will intersect, because personal identities oftentimes clash with cultural and familial expectations born out of trauma.

And before you start decrying me as white, let me tell you: I'm Argentinian. I'm brown-skinned, of Italian, Spanish, Arab and Indigenous descent. I'm autistic. I'm OCD. I'm trans. I'm bisexual. I can't claim to know how Colombian folks feel about this movie, but I do know that I want to see characters like myself, even if it is in fanon.

TL;DR Don't reduce the Encanto characters to just nd and queer hcs disregarding their cultural baggage, but also don't dismiss the significance that neurodivergent queer latinx characters can have to neurodivergent queer latinx fans. Both angles of their identities can be explored thoroughly and respectfully, including how they intersect

(This post can be reblogged by white folks, but I made it mainly for POC and Latinx fans. Please refrain from adding your opinion if you're not POC or Latinx).

[veronicathegoddess]

This is like a genuine question but if you're black and announcing it why do you have a yt profile pic and have your blog just generally very yt?

there's so much to unpack here and i have nothing to do tonight so let's delve into this

1. why is it seen as announcing that i'm black instead of me simply stating a fact about myself??? why is this is a critique that is leveled at poc in the first place especially in my experience black people???

why don't we ask gay people why they put that in their bios? or neurodivergent people why they post that they have autism or adhd? but i say i'm black and its viewed as an announcement like i don't live in my blackness every day. the same way that everyone else lives in their identities. black people can exist and assert their existence the same way other minorities do and it should be viewed the same way.

2. my profile pic is not yt. it's actually from hentai which yk is japanese. but considering that it is just boobs with no ethnic or racial context, i can't be mad at your assumption that it's a white person. however, let me ask you this, why would it be a problem if i have a profile picture of a white person?

why would you even bring my race into that when race has nothing to do with the media i engage with and what i choose to post or have as a profile picture?

this is just a racist implication that as a black person, i should only watch and support and post media that is black centered or contains black characters. which is hilarious when you consider that black persons are one of the most underrepresented groups in media even to this day.

and when we are represented the roles are often typecasted. it's always slavery, black misery, black best friend who never gets a happy ending, strong black girlboss who don't need man, it's all been seen. and let's not get started on the colorism within the industry related to black actors especially in modern media where black persons who are dark-skinned, especially women, are continually underrepresented.

i have no problem with black centered media, i watch a lot of shows and movies that are generally considered "black shows" but what i do have a problem with is you trying to link my race to something that is completely unrelated to it and implying that because i'm black i shouldn't have a white profile picture from something that i enjoy.

3. what the fuck do you mean by have my blog generally very yt? like i would love if you could explain to me what my blog is supposed to be like as a black person.

am i supposed to be using the n word? am i supposed to be ratchet? ghetto? is my blog supposed to be posts about weed and lean and rappers? please enlighten me. but until you do, i'll just make a guess.

it's not that my blog is yt, it's that i don't fit whatever racist, stereotypical view of black people that you have. you probably liked my content and assumed i was white until you learnt i was black

then you accused me of announcing my blackness but basically being a "race traitor" by having a profile picture of a non-poc character and then had the audacity to tell me that my blog is yt because you don't think that black people are a diverse group that can express who they are and their interests in the same way that white people do because we have to fit whatever racist view that you have of us.

to you i'm not supposed to be respectful or articulate or like non-black media or even be interested in hard kinks because that just isn't what negroes are like huh. that's what you cultured white folks do and it doesn't matter at the end of the day that i fit your respectability and acceptability politics, i'm still black and god forbid, i ever ever ever ever be anything besides what white people think i'm supposed to be.

i don't care that this is a "genuine question" because if it is, at the end of the day, it's still full of racism and i don't have to be nice about it because it is not my responsibility as a black person to educate white people on how to stop being racist assholes. i don't think this was a genuine question, but that's a whole other conversation.

the point is black people are not a monolith. black people are a beautifully diverse group and we can be and are interested in the same things as any other racial or ethnic group. we can assert our existence because we want to and we can be who we want to be and express that however we want to because we do not have to fit your racist stereotypical caricatures of what black people are like. and it's highly upsetting that i have to say this in 2022.

and to you anon, genuine or not genuine, i don't care, fuck you.

[kerra-and-company]

*cracks fingers* Alrighty then! Tell me everything you think about *drumroll* Caithe and Trahearne! ^^

Thoughts on a couple of plants imminent, please read below :D Caithe How I feel about this character I have liked Caithe since I first met her in the personal story. She's complicated and hurt and has been through several different forms of hell, and she works/tries so hard and loves so deeply. This is a very brief and not-fully-doing-her-justice character summary, so suffice it to say that I am a fan xD All the people I ship romantically with this character I don't (yet, haha) have an OC I'd ship with Caithe, but @mystery-salad and @skritt-shinies definitely do, and I love both of them! As far as canon characters go, though, no one at the moment. (And never, never Faolain.) My non-romantic OTP for this character In-game, Caithe and Trahearne (and all the ways that they both relate to and misunderstand each other) are a great pair for this. Caithe and all of the members of Destiny's Edge fit here too. In light of a bit at the beginning of EoD, I'll add Caithe and Taimi--would love to see them interact more. And finally, of course, parentally speaking, there's Caithe and Aurene. That's her dragon daughter, too. My unpopular opinion about this character Ooof, hmm, let's see...I don't think I have any? All the unpopular opinions I've seen so far are ones I don't share. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon I'd kinda have liked to see her join us in the Crystal Desert earlier on, during PoF, after Aurene (unexpectedly) did. I don't think she would have waited in Tarir or wherever she happened to be; I think she would have come after Aurene. Trahearne How I feel about this character He was one of the first characters I ever got exposed to from this game, so I knew he was a fan favorite going in. I had half an idea of his character from the limited fan stuff I'd seen, but actually getting to meet him and get a better sense of his personality made me like him more than I already did. So...I mean, I like him enough to have him not die in my main canon, which I think is a pretty good summary xD All the people I ship romantically with this character Oh gosh, I'm not tagging people for this because this would be a Very long list, but so many people (including you, Archesa :) ) have ships with him that I greatly enjoy. As far as my OCs are concerned, I have Rel :) And other canon characters...no one that I can think of right now! My non-romantic OTP for this character Trahearne and Caithe, to echo what I said above, have an excellent dynamic that I love. Trahearne and the commander, whether it's romantic/friendly/canon/fanon/whatever, also qualify, so I'll put them here too. (And this isn't an OTP, really, but I'm now really wishing Trahearne could have met more of Dragon's Watch. I would have loved to see how they would have gotten along. As it is, I'll figure that out in my head--and so will plenty of other folks here xD) My unpopular opinion about this character I definitely see him as neurodivergent, which I know some people have historically gotten kinda...testy?..about on here, but I'm pretty sure the people who were leaning towards assholery on that account are on the unpopular side of this. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon I've mentioned this before (and reblogged some of y'all's posts that put it very well and shared facts I didn't know as a relative newcomer), but I do not enjoy the way Trahearne's death and legacy was handled in-game. Definitely a major issue I have with HoT. I personally would rather he was not killed off, period, but even if that had to happen for whatever reason, I wish his death was just acknowledged more in-game.

[the-final-sif]

Alright, I’m worried about y’all young people out there, I say as if I’m 40 or something, and so I’m here with some Advice From An Adult (meant for everyone, but may be most helpful for neurodivergent folks):

If you find yourself regularly avoiding a task (homework, showering, laundry), don’t beat yourself up about it, try to figure out what the problem is. Ask yourself why you’re avoiding the task? What about it is unpleasant for you? Is there some specific part of the task you don’t like? Is it a lack of energy overall? Do you have a negative association with this task?

Once you’ve IDed what the problem is as best you can, work with yourself to fix that problem. Again, do not beat yourself up. Instead, ask yourself what you could change about the task to make it more pleasant. This will go hand in hand with the next point.

There are no rules as long as you are kind to yourself and to others.

If folding clothes is tedious and annoying, don’t fold them. If you need 5 trash bins in your room or 3 laundry hampers, then have them. If you want to eat meals at different times, if you want to eat pasta for breakfast, if you want to wear a swimsuit in the shower, etc, go for it. Seriously. There are no actual rules to life and if changing how a task is ‘normally’ done makes it easier and more comfortable for you, then go for it.

When faced with criticism or someone saying you’ve done something wrong, especially if you are often quick to jump to “I’m the worst person in the world for this” or “Any criticism of me is a personal attack I must defend against”, take a deep breath and step back.

Take another deep breath, and then try to detach yourself from the situation. Go through a mental simulation of how you would feel if a friend of yours, or a sibling, or a stranger, had done what you did and got that same criticism? If someone else had gone through the exact same thing you are experiencing, and they asked you for advice, what would you tell them? Would you think that this other person is in the wrong? Would you tell them to beat themselves up about it for days on end? Would you want them to apologize, change, and move on? It’ll all vary depending on the exact situation, but it’s easier to process these things from an outside perspective.

Be kind to yourself, as kind as you would be to anyone else. You deserve the same kindness that you would offer to others.

This same principle of stepping back and asking yourself how you would advise a friend or a stranger to react to something is really effective for a lot of things. Unsure if you’re overreacting to what someone did to you? How would you feel if someone did the same thing to a friend? Wondering if you should bring up an issue you have with someone? Would you want a friend to talk to that same person?

Writing this process down can also help a lot to make it feel more real. As can explaining it to someone else.

Moving on, but on a related note: ask for help when you need it.

I know asking for help is scary, and it can make you feel guilty, but please learn how to do it anyways. If you would tell a friend to ask for help in your situation, then you should ask for help too. 

A lot of times, people are actually happy to be helpful. Humans like to feel needed. Have you ever been asked for help, been able to help someone, and then gotten a good feeling afterwards? That’s how most people feel!

When asking for help, or asking for anything, keep these rules in mind for asking:

If you are asking someone (particularly someone in a position of authority over you) to fix something (ie, a grade, work hours, an accommodation) do not accuse them of causing the error on purpose. Even if you know that they did it on purpose, you do not want to turn this into a ‘you vs them’ situation. I know your frustration, but it will not serve you well. 

Instead, frame your request as ‘both of you vs an outside force’. Imply in how you ask that both of you are on the same side in this, and give them an easy out for having made ‘a mistake’. Easy targets to blame include technology, forms getting missed, things not being in quite the right place etc.

Ideally, frame your request as the obvious answer, rather than a “would you maybe do this?”. (IE: “Hello (name), I was double checking the schedule and I noticed I was accidentally being put on shift Wednesday when I’m unavailable instead of my Thursday shift. Would you be able to fix that? Thank you (name)”)

If you’re asking an informational question for something you don’t know a lot about, ask your question first, then give background detail. You may not know enough about the topic to know what details are important or not, so start with what question you want answered, and then add specifics afterwards. (IE: “I’m trying to figure out what requirements I need to complete for this degree. I already have x/y/z, and I was told I needed t/r/e, and I have these requirements already planned, but am I missing any or not fulfilling them correctly?“)

In general, don’t apologize unless you have done something wrong. If you have done something wrong, and you regret it, then that is a case to apologize, but try to resist the urge to apologize for everyday things.

A great piece of advice I’ve seen is replacing the “I’m sorry” with “Thank you”. Rather then putting yourself down for minor slights, for talking for long periods, or for getting really into something, make the interaction positive by thanking the other person for their patience/time/attention.

Not only will this make you feel better over time, but it will also make the other person feel better about the interaction.

This also goes for asking for help/requesting things. Don’t apologize for needing help, thank the person for offering it.

In general, don’t put yourself down. We’ve talked about treating ourselves kindly already, but seriously, try to remove self-deprecating language from your vocabulary. It takes practice, but changing thought patterns always does, and it’s well worth the pay off.

A good rule of thumb is pausing to ask yourself ‘Would I say this about a friend?’ before you say it about yourself. Does it sound cruel to say it about a friend? Then don’t say it about you.

This goes for serious interactions, but it also goes for casual interactions too. Don’t put yourself down to lift others up. It’s not good for anyone involved.

“I really love your artwork, I could never do anything like this.” -> “I really love your artwork, my friend could never do anything like this.”

Is the second one something you’d say? No? Then don’t say the first one either. Again, Treat yourself as kindly as you treat others.

Okay, this post is getting long, but in summary, there are no rules to real life, treat yourself kindly, ask for help, and don’t apologize when you can say ‘thank you’ instead.

Oh also register to vote if you’re old enough (or check up on older friends to make sure they’re registered if you’re not), make sure you are voting on everything, and look into your local politics if you have the time/energy to do so. They’re often way more fun than you might think.

[agerefandom]

Okay, this is just a silly over-sharing personal post about my experience of kinning and how that feels for me! If I’m going to talk about it on here, I figure I should introduce my… unique experience of it. 

Note: this is a vulnerable post for me, so please don’t make fun of me for my experiences or fandoms! Asking questions is totally okay, and corrections are welcome, but please be patient and give me the benefit of the doubt that I’m doing my best! Also, content warning for passing mentions of depression, insomnia, hallucinations, and flashbacks. The whole thing is a bit of a mental trip, so if you’re prone to unreality problems, I don’t recommend reading this! 

Right! So, what is kinning, or being otherkin or fictionkin?

That’s a really complicated question! The community has expanded a lot in the last few years, and to be honest, the words have kinda lost their meaning. (Some people from the old communities are mad about that, and honestly... I get it.)

I’m not otherkin, so I’m not going to talk about it too much, but it’s the longer-established community (although I’m pretty sure that people have been kinning characters, people, animals, and concepts since the beginning of humans, hit me up for historical examples if you’d like).

Basically, being otherkin is when you identify as something other than human! People have lots of explanations for why this happens: reincarnation, spiritual connections. Others see it as connected to their neurodivergence, and others don’t feel the need to justify their identity as otherkin!

Being fictionkin is really blowing up on the internet right now, and it’s when you identify as a fictional character (ie. Sherlock Holmes). It’s a nebulous concept, and some people are now using ‘kinning’ as a way to say that they just relate to a character, or they find a part of themself expressed in a character. Others identify fully with the character, or have memories from what they believe is a past life or alternate universe where they were that character.

I’m not gonna say that one definition of ‘kinning’ is right and others are wrong, because language is made to evolve, and my own experience is so complicated that I hardly know which side my own experiences fall on! But it’s important to know that both communities exist, and it’s currently hard to tell what a person means by having a character on their ‘kinlist’ (list of characters/things they kin).

My story with kinning, under the ‘read more’. 

When I was a kid, it took me a long time to figure out that other people don’t experience media the same way that I do. They don’t feel sharp pain in their leg when someone on-screen hurts a leg, for example.  

I have over-active empathy: I can tell when someone on the train is feeling anxious, because I start feeling my heart racing. I share this quirk with my mother, who’s a lot better at regulating it. It might be an autism thing, it might be a spiritual thing, lots of people have given theories. But it’s a thing that I experience, and that’s all that matters for the moment.

As one consequence of this hyperempathy, ever since I was a child, I have a tendency to ‘pick up’ characters: the lines between myself and them blur while I watch a movie or read a book, and then I can’t quite unblur those lines when I’m done.

(I jumped off the garage roof when I was six, insisting I was Peter Parker. I sprained an ankle and was banned from Spider-Man content until I was eleven.)

I don’t pick up characters as often anymore: I can go anywhere from four months to two years without the lines of my selfhood getting blurry. When I was a young teen, though, it felt like my head was just full of people who wanted different things, and I couldn’t tell which of them were me, which of them were my parents, and which of them were fictional.

Thank god high school is over.

Anyways, ‘picking up’ characters has always been a struggle for me. It challenges my fashion choices, my favourite activities, my gender identity, and sometimes even my taste in food. It lasts for two weeks to six months, and then I subside back into my ‘natural’ state (which was rapidly changing in my teen years, adding to my confusion).

It made me feel really crazy, because none of my friends had this experience, and I’d never heard anyone else talking about it!

It turns out there is a term for this, it’s called ‘fictionflickers.’ It’s a term for a wide range of experiences, but one of the things it covers is briefly switching to the viewpoint of a fictional character, or a temporary ‘taking on’ of a character. Exactly what I experience! It’s temporary, and kin-adjacent, but it doesn’t technically fall under the umbrella of being fictionkin or otherkin, which are more fixed identities (although some people would argue that).

I am so happy to have a word for this. It makes me feel validated, and like I can actually talk to people about it. And it helps me to deal with it without fear, knowing that I’m not alone in the experience.

But then there’s another category of characters, which only showed up when I read a series called All For The Game (or The Foxhole Court) at age 18.

There’s a character in this series named Andrew Minyard. Immediately, I knew he was ‘mine’ (in a way I often connect to characters that become fictionflickers). His name leapt out at me from the page, I could feel his actions in my body more strongly than the other characters, it almost felt like I could predict his actions.

Anyways, bad things happen to that character. Well, bad things happen to most characters in that series. But Andrew’s plotline hit me hard, twisting my empathy into one big bundle of terribleness. I had nightmares for months, always in his body, and all throughout it, there was this terrible feeling that I was forgetting something.

I put it down to being a really bad fictionflicker (although I didn’t have the term yet, I called it ‘picking up characters,’ and I knew it was a reoccurring experience). But it was weird: there was no real shift in my personality or tastes, aside from a severe drop in mood because of the nightmares and insomnia. It wasn’t like a fictionflicker at all, aside from the fact that I couldn’t get this character out of my head.

Eventually, the nightmares started bleeding over into my days in the form of vivid flashbacks and… I stopped fighting what I’d been too scared to admit to myself. They were memories. They weren’t my memories, they were Andrew’s memories, but they were in my head, and I was dealing with the consequences.

Everything got easier when I recognized that. It felt right to process them as memories, rather than hallucinations, which I had been thinking of them as. This change in thinking made a huge difference, although I couldn’t tell you why, and the nightmares finally stopped.

But still, what were someone else’s memories doing in my head? Surely that was weirder than hallucinations?

And that’s when I found the kin community, and threw myself in headfirst.

Memories are one of the key differences between ‘I relate to a character’ kinning and ‘I am this character’ kinning. There are tons of other people with character-memories!!! I’ve quizzed dozens of (very patient and kind) people who share this experience, and heard dozens of theories about why it happens.

I don’t really have a personal theory, to be honest. It’s weird, and it’s happening, and I’m still not quite sure what to do about it, if anything. Mostly, I just try and be more open about it, when I can be. It’s still such a strange and unusual experience, and I get nervous explaining it to people, but it helps to talk about it. Especially when memories or new characters are bothering me, and I need help to separate myself from them.

Sometimes the line between ‘fictionflicker’ and ‘kinning’ is hard for me to find. The vivid thoughts and cravings that come with my fictionflickers occasionally cross into memories, and it’s really only time that will tell whether a character is a permanent part of me, or a temporary identification.

Anyways, here’s a list of my permanent kins, and my more recent or significant fictionflickers! I would never tell anyone about these without all the context you just read, but I think you can understand me well enough not to judge them too harshly now. 

Here’s the picrew I used to make most of the images! 

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Kins (and memories)

Andrew Minyard (Foxhole Court: mainly childhood memories: no memories of the book era, some pre-novel Palmetto memories)

Dirk Strider (Homestuck: non-game universe: caregiver splinter in a mess of a headspace with lots of folks around)

Holden Caulfield (Catcher In The Rye: hospital memories, and not much else)

Spiral (Magnus Archives: pre-Michael era, blurry memories, how it felt to be a labyrinth)

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Fictionflickers (age 16-22, not in chronological order)

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls: two months: had some very confusing times thinking I had one eye. Enjoyed the music taste.)

Wade Wilson (Marvel: twelve months: helped me get all the voices in line when I was a teen. Also, made me feel better about the eczema that used to cover my face and shoulders. A reoccurring fictionflicker every few years.)

Mae Borowski (Night In The Woods: one month: on the line of kin and fictionflicker. I miss her mother terribly. Doesn’t mix well with my fear of heights, since I want to climb everything. I get weird dreams as Mae, but I often get weird dreams.)

Alexander Hamilton (Hamilton: six months: worst fictionflicker ever, I didn’t sleep a solid night for months but I did get straight As and met the Prime Minister. Long story.)

Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty: two months: absolutely terrible person to have in your head. I wrote some songs, stayed up late, and dressed defensively feminine. I usually refuse to admit that I have memories from a version of him, because I’m not putting that name on my proper kinlist.)

Kevin (Welcome To Night Vale: ?one month?: another kin/fictionflicker blurry line. He makes my mouth hurt when I listen to his episodes. He was bringing up my Spiral memories before The Magnus Archives ever came out.)

Courfeyrac (Les Miserables: four months: brilliant era. Had so much energy. Joined a political group on campus, made donuts for people, and generally had a good time. Dated too many of my friends, though.)

[sallysoot]

୧  RULES  ☆ ╮

remember: please ONLY send requests via the ask box ( and when they are open )! i won’t respond through dm or submission! ( updated 04/07/2022)

general rules

i am a human person with college, a social life, and mental health to worry about! sometimes i might take a long time to get to requests/asks or just choose not to fill or answer. it isn’t anything personal, i promise— i just can’t get to everything. so please know that and show respect to me that i will also show to you!

my choice to write about certain topics and ccs has no effect on you (or them), and you waste precious moments of your life by sending me hate about it cause i won’t answer! cringe, block, and move on.

however: polite asks requesting for certain topics to be tagged are obviously A-OKAY! i will always do my best to be accommodating with these so don’t be afraid to ask.

if you want to be added the taglist for invention of a legend, your best bet is to send an ask or a dm! i USUALLY will still see it and add you on if you reply to the chapter, but if i haven’t replied back saying i’ll add you in a day or two, it’s okay to ask another way!

as i’ve mentioned, i’m neurodivergent and do not always ‘get’ the tone of messages. not using tone indicators with me is fine, but please let me know if i’ve misread your meaning!

also please let me know if you don’t like nicknames & endearments! i naturally call folks honey, dear, sunshine, etc. bc it’s what i grew up with; if it’s weird or uncomfy for you, just tell me (politely, please) and i won’t use them for you again!

no DNI / BYF but obviously if you bring bad vibes into my space or support hateful/harmful ideologies i will block you!

what will i not write?

for my own comfort, i will not write for minors on this blog.

i also will not write for characters whose ccs are not minors now but were recently— tubbo, ranboo, purpled, and so on. i’m comfortable including them as side characters now, though!

i will not write nsfw works on my main blog!

i do not write irlfic, no exceptions

streamer!reader is too close to irl for me and has consistently made me quite wary; i’ve made certain exceptions when talking about ideas but as a general rule i won’t post about this!

i will not write for hybrid!reader, but i’ll gladly write hybrid quackity/schlatt/phil/etc.!

siren / mermaid AUs; mafia / mob AUs; coffee shop AUs; hogwarts AUs

pet death; by this i mean something like a character comforting a reader who has lost a pet specifically, not canon deaths of animals in the SMP being mentioned!

“coming out” fics; these are SO sweet & i love other people’s takes, but i’m just not sure how to approach one myself.

what will i write?

at the moment, i will write for every (adult) character on the dSMP, save for previously mentioned ones, and characters from related content (tales of the SMP, originSMP). i’ll make sure to specify if this changes!

i will generally write all variety of things. this blog may contain upsetting themes and darkfic. these will be warned for!

i will write for any gender of reader! if you specifically want certain pronouns used in your request, please let me know!

i will write for unique AUs and specific settings, provided i am familiar with them. don’t be afraid to ask if i am into or know about a franchise you’d like to see an AU of!

i will write romantic content for c!technoblade/c!schlatt/c!wilbur/etc. you are welcome to block me and/or my tags if this is distressing to you. 

[autisticbirbboy]

Hi! Just a friendly reminder...

Autism positivity and acceptance is about the fact that we are all allowed to take up space, be ourselves, and exist peacefully in a safe environment no matter what neurodivergency(ies) we have, no matter what neurodivergent traits we express (good or bad!!), and no matter how productive or “useful” to neurotypical society we are!

A commentary and light criticism on autism acceptance/positivity movements below:

I feel like we’ve ended up alienating a group of autistic folk whose traits don’t manifest in what we’re celebrating, such as being good at art, writing, or math. Yes, we’re of course allowed to celebrate how our neurodivergency has given us skills and gifts like that!! But, I feel like we’ve ended up centring our positivity around what traits are “productive” and “acceptable” to neurotypicals, excluding autistic folk who don’t fit neurotypical society’s mould of “worthiness.” They don’t feel like they can relate to our positivity because they don’t feel like they fit in with us either, because they feel that their traits aren’t as “good” (such as having a high skill in creating art) as a lot of ours are, that their traits are only negative and they have nothing to bring to the table, and that they don’t deserve acceptance or positivity because of that. I’ve talked to a few neurodivergent folk who feel alienated, feeling that since their neurodivergency doesn’t manifest into “productive” traits like other neurodivergent folk (folk that end up being hailed as “good autistics” for how their autism manifests/presents) that they’re not good enough and that they’re a “bad” autistic person, or “worthless.” What I feel like we do sometimes is try to justify our neurodivergency by appealing to neurotypical people, centring “neurotypical-friendly” traits, telling them “autism isn’t all bad, we still can be productive in these ways and that’s why it’s okay to be autistic” instead of focusing on the fact that every person on this earth is worth space and time and resources no matter how their neurodivergency manifests and no matter how “productive” they are.

When we alienate a big chunk of our community that doesn’t feel like they can love themselves because they’re not “good enough” as other autistics who are positive about themselves and their autism, I think it’s important to analyze why this is happening. And from my experience talking with those who hate their neurodivergency, what I’ve said above sums up some of the problems. Now, of course a big part of this is internalized ableism that has been hammered into self-hating autistics for most of their lives by family members, friends, peers, doctors, etc., and we can’t do away with all their insecurities that have been created (a lot of the work towards self-love has to be done by them of course, we can only do so much), but at the same time I think we should shift our gears to encapsulate truly what autistic positivity and acceptance should be saying: that no matter what traits we have, we’re valid, human beings, worthy of respect, worthy of time and energy, worthy of living, worthy of eating, worthy of existing, worthy of taking up space!

Quick lil’ disclaimer: I am autistic and do not communicate tone over text very well, please do not interpret any of this as hostile or aggressive because it is not my intention at all!! I love how positive a lot of us, including me, are with our neurodivergency and we’ve done a lot of great work with autism acceptance/positivity movements, and I identify with these movements too, these are just my observations and criticisms! The word criticism has taken a very negative tone in contemporary times but I assert that all of this was written with love and intentions to better the movement!