#please support the people that crafty harmed

[photon-bytez]

Dunno 'bout y'all, buuuuuuuuut...

I already talked a good bit about her in my original post about her origin show, but Sasha was easily the best character from Dr. Crafty. If anything, Alex Tansley canning the show, not letting her and the other characters complete their story arcs, was probably one of the first public hints that something was definitely off about the guy. I'm a sucker for tall monster women, and this absolute goof of a cosmic horror speaks to me alot, especially with how she was fleshed-out well as a character.

For anyone confused on what's going on, please check out @newtafterdark's post about what happened with Alex and Dr. Crafty. He did a great job with explaining the matter (more than I've even did in my post, ngl), and brings up about how everyone affected by Alex deserve healing and support. For those folks, please support them, they absolutely need it.

And again, Sasha was a fun character. It just fuckin' blows that the show that she and many others were featured in was made by a sex pest (And just a real piece of work in general)

[steveezekiel]

STEADFAST OBEDIENCE: THE MOST IMPORTANT THING 1

"THEREFORE, my beloved brethren, BE STEADFAST, IMMOVABLE, ALWAYS ABOUNDING IN THE WORK OF THE LORD, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord."

1 Corinthians 15:58 (NKJV)

"AND BEING READY TO PUNISH ALL DISOBEDIENCE WHEN YOUR OBEDIENCE IS FULFILLED."

2 Corinthians 10:6

• In most cases, what is done against you is not the issue like your own obedience to whatever God has said or instructed you to do.

- The devil, his demons, and the humans who are working for his kingdom may come with one challenge or the other; but your own stand with God is the most important thing (2 Corinthians 10:6).

- If your stand with God is right, you are walking in obedience to what He commanded or instructed you to do; the devil's plans or ploys would definitely be frustrated and amounted to nothing.

- The devil, his cohorts, and whoever working for him, all put together, are none issue If your own stand with God is right.

- The plans of the world or the wicked people would amount to nothing If your walk with God is cordial enough.

• Where a believer would miss it, is, when he or she is not getting along well with God's instructions for his or her life.

- The devil can send any attack, make whatever move that pleases him, to work against you, but all would amount to nothing If your own walking with God is intact.

- The most important thing or aspect of a believer's life which he or she should pay attention to, is their walking or communion with God.

- If you can succeed to please God, get His attention on your matters; you can forget about whatever the devil's ploy or scheme, his crafty or secret plan or programme of action, might be against you.

- The psalmist says: "HE WHO DWELLS IN THE SECRET PLACE OF THE MOST HIGH SHALL ABIDE UNDER THE SHADOW OF THE ALMIGHTY" (Psalm 91:1 NKJV).

a. To dwell or abide in the secret place of the most High is about walking in the light of His Word. It is about being a doer, or a practicer, of His Word (James 1:22,25).

b. It also means someone who makes God's Word and the specific instructions given to him or her, the guiding principle of their life.

• Walking in obedience is the secret place of the most High God.

- When you walk in obedience to the specific instruction given you by God; It puts you under God's protection or protective covering or care.

- Fighting or engaging the devil in a spiritual warfare is not the issue like your obedience or the doing of whatever He said to do—walking in the way He said to go.

- Note: It is not that the devil, his cohorts, and his human agents, would not surface to challenge you or whatever you are doing; but the issue is, their challenges would fail, amount to nothing, If your own walk or communion with God is cordial and intact.

- As a believer, inasmuch that you are still in the world, the devil would always come to challenge or make troubles, but your own help or protection or support is your stand in God.

- Your abiding in the Word of God, the following of His principles, and the practicing of the specific instructions given to you as an individual believer in Christ Jesus.

- The devil, the demons assigned from the dark kingdom, and the humans who represent the devil and his kingdom, might come and surely would come, but they would not be able to do you any harm or prevail against you, or whatever you are doing—If you are obedient to God's instructions.

• Having this understanding is very important, because there are believers who live a militant life; all they think and talk about is warring with the devil.

- The truth is, If you kept fighting or attacking the devil and his cohorts and human agents, you would always keep having battles to fight. And you would not but be receiving constant attacks!

- God will keep standing with you to fight as long as you are still His son or daughter, but that is not the best life He, God, wanted you to live as a believer in Christ Jesus.

- God wanted you to trust Him, put your life in His hand, and allow Him to take the lead of your life. He has not saved or called you to be fighting the devil; principalities and powers, but to stand in the victory which Christ Jesus has gotten and given to the church—the believers. Whenever the devil surfaces, you give him a knock he deserves in the head!

- God does not want you to live independently of Him. He wants you to always bring whatever happens to you, or whatever is bothering your mind, to His notices. He does not want you to handle it by yourself, in your own way or pattern.

- He does want you to allow Him to guide you, Use you as a front in the matters or issues of your life, but be the One Who is doing the work or fighting or helping behind the scene in whatever It might be.

• You will not fail in Jesus' name.

- Should there be any ailment in your body, I declare your healing now in Jesus' name.

- Whatever is not of God in your system is completely removed in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.

Peace!

TO BE CONTINUED

STEPS TO SALVATION

• Take notice of this:

IF you are yet to take the step of salvation, that is, yet to be born-again, do it now, tomorrow might be too late (2 Corinthians 6:1,2; Hebrews 3:7,8,15).

a. Acknowledge that you are a sinner and confess your Sins (1 John 1:9); And ask Jesus Christ to come into your life (Revelation 3:20).

b. Confess that you believe in your heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, and that you confess it with your mouth, Thus, you accept Him As your Lord and Saviour (Romans 10:9,10).

c. Ask that He will write your name in the Book of Life (Philippians 4:3; Revelation 3:8).

- If you took the steps As highlighted above, It means you are saved—born-again. Join a Word based church in your area and Town or city, and be part of whatever they are doing there. Peace!

[llycaons]

im ngl I'm a little let down by the direction this finale is going in BUT. here's 40!

no regrets? she'll let him kill her? please be a ploy...

okay I think it IS a play but now she's talking about these soldiers again? girl this is about YOU!!!!

aw swee jiuyue is back. love her

SHE GOT HIM!!!!!!!!!!! I think the buildup could have been better bc the camera just cut to her already with the arrow loaded BUT

oh my god the longwu army is LESS important to me than exposing syr!!! please!!! I feel like the narrative doesn't think that's important for xff anymore and ig she never wanted to be the one PERSONALLY to kill them but they were never exposed!! is she really at peace? where does this sudden loyalty to her country come from?

okay sweet a confrontation

'I'd have no regrets if I die at your hands' now where have I heard that before?

this is one of those cases where xff really shouldn't kill him though. she never wanted to hurt or kill anyone, just make those who harmed her and jl face justice. killing him would be satisfying more of need of his than hers. and she's right - killing him WOULD dirty her hands

but also like. NOW she's like 'the country's legal system will handle you for treason' LIKE HE HADN'T BROKEN THE LAW BY TRYING TO KILL HER???

these last few episodes have felt so weird....her plot and motivations have been completely subsumed by this uhhh nationalistic prioritization

also - where the HELL have all our lovable side characters gone? all the jiangs? xl? ysj? who the fuck are all these people???

ohh he's going to jump isn't he

DON'T TURN AROUND XFF. KEEP YOUR PEACE.

YESSSSSS> she stopped but didn't even GLANCE at him. and he was still alive! he saw! even his death means nothing to her! AS IT SHOULD!!! she's moved on with her life and she's built something beautiful after his betrayal and she's not going to concern hersel with him any more!

I do dislike a lot of how this finale is structured, but this has been consistent throughout the entire show. xff's independence from syr. xff not letting syr get away with killing her, and not letting what he did to her hold her back from living well. not softening what he did, or allowing him to give excuses, but also being able to move forward in her life and make new friends and family and loved ones. she won't cry for him. she won't even look at him. she won't dirty her hands or force herself to look at his broken body even as she sobs and pleads and begs for her compassion and support and love. even as he kills himself. she knows what she deserves and she walks towards it and away from him and all that he carries with him

'Shen Yurong is useless!' WHY DID YOU GIVE YOUR ARMY TO A MENTALLY UNWELL SCHOLAR

im kind of mad xh got to yell out all his grievances and I guess nobody will ever know what wanning and syr did

CONCUBINE LI MVP!!!!!

it's not often a hostage commits SUICIDE. my god

THE LIS WERE EXCECUTED???

aw man. I do feel bad for the shen mom and sister. especially the sister! she was a teenage girl, what was she going to do!

wow, no mercy or forgiveness for hostages huh...like the jiang aunt was literally a hostage!

I miss tong-er :(

omg!!! HAIFENG!! is that her name? she has such a sweet face, that maid <3

omg her father and brother....that's incredible. like at a certain point I did think it was cheap that they had both survived, but now I just think it's remarkable. she brought them back to life! SHE did that!

and apologizing for being unfilial...sweetie....

and now...her identity...

HER DAD IS SO SWEET WHAT THE FUCK...I would die for this old man too I rly would

kind of a shame we were told xz would have a disability and then he didn't. that's been happening this entire show, tho. jy can just cure them all...

oh yeah I guess hx is considered a good man. I don't, but I think his shadiness and craftiness and particular regard is what makes him interesting

I kind of don't like it when they're cutesy and wholesome. can they go back to being liars they had better chemistry. these episodes all they do is smile at each other which gets boring

general xiao and lj shuddering with fear to hear xh laughing is pretty funny though

JIANG LI!!!!!!!

hm I guess it was less about revenge and more about reputation, huh. and that's what xff did...

WELP. WEDDING TIME. cql fics often talk abt a veil but women can use a fan to cover their face too

aw damn they're kissing onscreen. and she's touching his NECK? racyyy

fade to black...if they had more interesting dynamic at this point I bet the sex would have been more insane but it was probably like, very nice anyway

well she knows what she likes, probably. being a widow. has xh fucked? I kind of doubt it.

oh my god I hope he doesn't fucking die at war...

why did her jiang dad resign his post?

oh man...the confession scene. very tearful. very painful. I guess xff will be jl for the rest of her life, then. jl was wronged by her father, but he clearly loved her. I'm glad she asked about her

and at this point, xff has such a great reputation, and is so celebrated in the capital, that she probably has more social power than he does. and as was stated before, the truth coming out can only harm the jiang family's reputation

omg jjr and xl!!! and ruoyao mentioned!!!

aw and ysj. his presence was so mild I didn't notice 😭

jjr is so cute I love himmmm

jjr and xl are holding hands but I think it's in a buddy way. tho being best friends is a more stable foundation for marriage than plenty of people get

and so, the con artist ends her story with two families rather than zero. and she loves her second father, she does. and he knows it. and I think he loves her too

YE SHIJIE.....🥺🥺🥺

this also happened in mask of mirrors where a guy was in love with a con woman but she wasn't in love with him so he just became her number one supportive best buddy. it's really sweet!!! I love that!!!

her dad and brother are there right? like I know she's In Love but going on this whole journey after her shitty husband betrayed her of getting a life to live and friends and reputation and all falls a little flat if she shuts herself alone in a mansion and just waits for him for months. girl your LIFE!!!

sorry it's just a little fucking galling to see xff, a proactive, social, intelligent, motivated, and compassionate woman, make things happen for the entire series and then spend all this time reduced to a housewife sitting sadly at home waiting for her husband to come home from war. like. the ENTIRE show she has been doing shit whether she could fight or not. the entire show she's been fighting to life a good life and get her family back. is this really the themes best for the show?

they probably didn't want her to look heartless, but EYE would 100% rather see jyl being with her friends and family, eating good food, traveling, decorating, cooking, living her life while xh is away at war. like of course she's worried for him and misses him, but I just hate to see her entire character bogged down because a man is away. I thought we'd learned to live independently!!!

NOT LU JIIIIII

HOW COULD YOU KILL OFF THE FUNNY GUY

god I wish this show was over. what a downer. these guys all at least look really hot with their hair down and all the mud and blood and sweat and such

WEN JI TOO?!!!

FUCKED UPPPP

okay it's stupid that this fight is the finale but it IS well-choreographed. I'm bored and antsy and even i got shivers seeing some of these moves

god damn he looks SO good when he's about to die

THERE HE IS. THANK GOD. was NOT looking good for him WHEW!!

THAT'S THE END!!!!!!!

[unknown68d]

My First Tumblr Shoutout!

It's been a long while since I've sat down & taken the time to write a post where I show my appreciation for another person. At the latest, the last time I did that was in 2021 before my mental health crisis that I spent the entirety of 2022 & a bit of 2023 healing from. I've fundamentally changed a lot & feared I'd lose this part of myself at one point, but I'm happy to say that my ability to be unapologetically kind & crafty with my words to express said kindness is here to stay! Tumblr's generous character limit & culture of longer posts also allow me to convey myself properly, so I'm going all out!

WE BEGIN!

I first discovered the lovely @lunglesschest soon after I started using Tumblr in late 2022. Around this time, I was transitioning out of the old way I used Twitter & the toxic cesspool that it often is. I wanted to nerd out and express my true self unapologetically in a fresh, clean space. This also included ships, the catalyst of this discovery.

Kris & Noelle have such a deep and long history together in the Deltarune universe which goes all the way back to their childhood. I talked about why I ship them HERE if you're interested. Anywho, long story short, I discovered this artist through this ship's related tags. From there, I followed him b/c I like his art style & personality, consumed more of this ship + his other work, and commissioned him b/c I loved his softer colours & gentle art style. The rest is history!

It feels so heartwarming & relieving to finally have a human connection with another person with whom I actually feel comfortable sharing my interests and passions. I haven't had an experience like this for YEARS! Before my time online, I felt I had to hide a lot of myself from everybody. Then, my old online sphere accepted me for who I was for a few years, but with how polarized the internet has become, I felt I had to go back to hiding those parts again b/c of the lengths that people will go to harm you if you say/do the "wrong thing". I've made a few mistakes & choices that didn't please everybody I cared about, but proportionality gets thrown out the window all the time online. As a result, my trust in people hit an all-time low last year & only now do I feel I can start to rebuild & heal it again.

Thanks for being one of those few people who took an interest in who I was when I reached out to you. Thanks for the lovely artwork as well! I'll cherish it forever! I hope we can chat a lot more in the future. Much love & all the best to you with what you desire to become! I hope we can be good friends as well! 💙💙💙

GO SUPPORT &/OR COMMISSION @lunglesschest IF YOU'D LIKE/CAN!

icon commission for @unknown68d posted with permission ❄️ thank you for your kindness and support!

[qlala]

Hi here's my money for that Barry and Len "guilt versus shame" essay. Thanks! 💰💰💰💰💰 (I drew the dollar signs on the bags myself. I'm crafty)

Anon when I said essay, I meant essay. But alright. Here you go. for you and your hand-drawn dollar signs. Come, take this journey with me. (A journey of character analysis for fun—please, no one take this as reliable psychology.)

As I said, I consider the main conflict between Barry and Leonard not one of good versus evil, but of guilt versus shame. Specifically, the difference between them is that Barry is a character motivated by guilt, while Len is motivated by shame.

(And to get this out of the way - I’m not talking about sexuality, but how Barry and Len relate to the world and other people. I don’t think Len is the least bit ashamed of his sexuality; Wentworth Miller has always said that Len is someone who knows exactly who he is, and I think that’s true).

A more accurate way of talking might be to say that guilt-driven characters are motivated by love, while shame-driven characters are motivated by respect.

I’m going to start with Barry, because guilt-motivated characters tend to be much more straight-forward than shame-driven characters. Barry grew up (with some bumps along the way) in supportive, loving homes. His parents, and later Joe, always treated him with love, which allows Barry to love himself and other people.

Treating children with love is the most basic respect their guardians can afford them, and they’ll always have that basic core of respect to fall back on in the face of outside adversity. (Barry is remarkably hard to ruffle with insults—antagonists always have to target the people he loves, because he just… does not rise to the bait when it’s just his own pride on the line.)

This kind of early exposure to love and respect are fundamental to being able to feel guilt about harming others later in life. Barry was raised to respect and love other people (in the general, “love your fellow man” sense), so he would feel guilty if he hurt someone innocent. The core sense of self-respect and self-love that Barry developed in childhood means Barry’s sense of self can always take the hit when he feels guilty about hurting other people.

Guilt makes us feel, temporarily, unloveable. But because Barry was raised to feel fundamentally deserving of love, he can afford to feel briefly unloveable when he hurts other people—it just means he needs to make amends, and then he’ll be worthy of that love again.

That’s why Barry’s a guilt-driven (or love-driven) character: when he interacts with the world, the thing he’s most afraid of losing is love. He’s never been put in a position where he feels like what he’s missing is respect.

And that’s where he and Len differ. Len’s not guilt- or love-driven; he’s shame-driven.

Len appears to feel zero guilt for hurting innocent people, at least when we first meet him in season 1. And the reason for that is Lewis. As I mentioned, love is a prerequisite for guilt. And unlike Barry, Len wasn’t brought up in a loving home. I highly doubt that Lewis’s love for Len was ever freely given, even before he became physically abusive. And if it was, that sense of self was absolutely ripped away from Len when that abuse started.

As I mentioned, treating children with love is the most basic respect their guardians can give them. By withholding that love, Lewis taught Len that he was inherently worthy of neither love nor respect. Raised in that environment, where violence was the way Len saw power exerted over others, the natural response was for Len to seek out respect, not love. He had nothing to gain from loving others—and therefore, from feeling guilt—because he’d already been taught he could survive without love. What he couldn’t survive without was respect, because disrespect meant becoming the object of violence—first from his father, and later, from the criminal justice system.

(Prison is a conversation for another day, but suffice to say, the dehumanizing treatment incarcerated people face parallels that childhood lack of love, robs them of the self-respect and self-love they need to have healthy relationships with other people, and increases the likelihood that they’ll commit violent crimes, not reduces it).

So Len did whatever it took to survive, and survival meant accumulating respect. There’s an obvious cure to this obsession with respect, of course: 1) love, and 2) safety.

Now, as eager as I am to jump into how Barry helped Len break the cycle of violence, Barry’s not the source of love I want to talk about here. Barry comes in later; when I talk about the love that saved Leonard, I’m talking about Lisa.

Because, listen—I’m as exhausted as you are by the trope of “female loved one is male character’s humanity,” especially where, like in some of the Flash comics, it means killing off Lisa to make Leonard a more ruthless (and, I guess the the theory goes, interesting?) villain. But Lisa isn’t just some crack in Len’s armor; she fundamentally changed Len’s life when she was born.

Len was already somewhere between thirteen and sixteen by the time Lisa was born; for the sake of convenience, let’s put him around 15. (For some more detailed meta about the Sniblings' ages, check out this excellent post by @coldtomyflash). If Len was five when Lewis went to prison, and ten when Lewis came out a much more violent man (see: everything I said about prison earlier), that means Len experienced several years of incredibly traumatic treatment before Lisa was born.

He and Mick were in juvie together at least once when Len was still young enough to be “the smallest kid in there,” and Len was nearly killed. Mick saved him, yes, but the experience had to further numb Len to guilt and reinforce that violence and respect were the only real paths to survival.

And then, Lisa. Len clearly, canonically loves Lisa from the moment she’s born. We know nothing about either of their mothers (and it is pretty likely, given the 15-year age gap between them, that they have different mothers), but they’re clearly both out of the picture—Lisa says Len raised her. Len raised her! Fifteen years old, three years away from being free and clear of Lewis’s house forever, and Len stays to raise her.

Lisa is absolutely the one person keeping Len from sliding fully head-first into the path carved for him by Lewis and reinforced by the prison system. He is still primarily shame- and respect-driven—we see him kill people without any guilt, hell, he tries to derail a train with children on board in season one just to see what Barry will do.

But Lisa taught Len that he’s deserving of love and capable of loving others, and because of that, Len cannot, will not respect Lewis for his violence he rains on them both.It leaves open a door in his mind: Lisa doesn’t deserve to be treated that way, which could mean, if he could ever afford to consider it, that he didn’t deserve to be treated that way, either.

It’s why Barry is so unbelievably smug at the end of “Family of Rogues.” He’s figured it out; he wouldn’t put it in terms like guilt and shame, but he’s cracked it all the same. He always knew Len was like him, was someone who had been forced into violence by his circumstances, and now he has proof. Barry is remarkably unconcerned that Len shot Lewis; he’s briefly surprised, sure, but by the end of the episode he’s visiting Len in Iron Heights and goading him about the good in him.

And that’s where Barry comes in. He’s the crucial second ingredient to that cure for shame—he’s the safety.

He blazes into Len’s life and praises him for things no one else ever praised him for: for his morals, for his mercy, for the way he loves Lisa. He gives him an acceptable out to stop killing (he appeals to his vanity, says he’s good enough at what he does that he doesn’t need to hurt innocents, and they both know it’s an excuse), and he makes it clear that he respects not Len’s capacity for violence, but his desire to escape the need for it.

He also offers Len protection to start making that transition. Len knows, even if neither of them say it, that Barry would drop everything to help him if he called. When Len’s reluctant do-gooding puts him in harm’s way, like with King Shark in ARGUS, Barry does drop everything. He gives up a tool that could save Iris’s life to save Len’s instead. This is not me hating on westallen at all—Barry’s sense of obligation to Len is just that strong. He knows he’s put Len on slippery ground by helping extract him from the safety net he’d built himself out of violence.

And that’s Barry’s guilt drive in action—because yeah, he loves Len. He cares about him, and he respects him, and that’s love to Barry. He just wants to give Len the chance to love people that way, too. And in the end, Len, despite all his misgivings, ends up letting him.

[finkthecobra]

Name: Sidney the Skunk

Aliases: Sycamore the Skunk(birthname, don't call him this unless you really want your legs broken), Sid

Gender: male

Sexuality: gay

Age: 21

Height: 3'7"

Weight: 88lbs

Birthday: June 29th

Parents: Flora Skunk and Barkley Skunk, estranged 

Birthplace: Sunset Park Zone

Current Residence: Central City

Alignment: chaotic neutral 

Personality: confident, firm, genuine, independent, individualistic, perfectionist, realistic, shrewd, aggressive, impersonal, noncompetitive, outspoken, proud, stubborn, tough, abrasive, callous, crafty, cynical, erratic, faithless, morbid, nihilistic, rude, tactless, unfriendly 

Likes: piercings, tattoos, working out, outsider art, body horror and gore, punk rock, chicken wings, stealing, old monster movies, hanging out at the dump, bonfires, testing/annoying people, fistfights, causing trouble, black coffee, mosh pits, finding new bands to listen to, intimidating others, watching boxing matches, playing cards

Dislikes: kids, cutesy things, pastel colors, people who think piercings are unprofessional, cowards, being woken up, tryhards, authority, dogs, cold weather, tight spaces, getting wet, strong perfume, fudge, baths, stagnation, self righteousness, parties, alcohol

Fears: losing himself, guns

Skills: pickpocketing, hand to hand combat, stench spray

Skill Type: Power

Strength: 8/10

Endurance: 5/10

Energy Projection: 0/10

Willpower: 5/10

Agility: 5/10

Luck: 3/10

Intelligence: 5/10

Transformations: none

Willingness to Fight: very high

Willingness to Kill: very low

Willingness to Flee: low

Willingness to Surrender: nonexistent 

Description: A rowdy punk who causes trouble wherever he goes and is always looking for a fight. He has no regard for others or their rules and acts solely in his own interests, which are typically money or simply because he got bored. He has a violent temper and always seems to be sporting a nasty scowl, complete with a furrowed brow. He's made a little hideout for himself in the Central City dump where he crafts tools, traps and even little sculptures out of garbage. Though he harbors latent artistic talent, he's much more interested in your wallet than your praise. He takes great pride in his stench and takes it as a compliment if you can smell him before you see him.

Sidney, or rather his birthname Sycamore, was born to Flora and Barkley Skunk, two laissez-faire, passive flower children who abhorred anything resembling conflict and advocated for calm, peaceful communication and free love. They were very loose with parenting Sidney, often allowing him to do whatever he pleased. They wanted to be his friends first and foremost and felt it would be harmful to punish him. Overall they were disengaged and though they loved Sidney very much, they were far from good parents. Young Sidney would often hear his friends say they were jealous of him and his "cool" parents. They envied the fact that Sidney could do whatever he wanted. Ice cream for breakfast? Playing video games until 2am on a school night? Wearing pajamas all day? They thought that sounded amazing! But for Sidney, it was fun, sure, but he didn't feel like he had parents. He had friends. Sidney grew impulsive and aggressive and his behavior would only worsen with time. Sidney would grow into a resentful, nasty teenager lacking the structure and guidance he needed. He would change his name from Sycamore to Sidney and rebel against any and all authority, wanting to tear down structure as it stands out of anger and the desire for real parents. From skipping school to screaming at his parents to mugging strangers on the street and everything in between. As soon as he turned 18, he packed his things and left for Central City. He almost wanted his parents to throw a fit about him dropping out and leaving home but they didn't. They supported his choices and wanted their little flower boy to follow his heart. He hasn't spoken to them since. 

"The hell d'you want? Lookin' to get your face punched in or somethin'? Outta my way, loser."

"Ever see Return of Chaos? Wicked movie. Chaos uses his powers to manipulate the water in this guy's body to blow him apart from the inside, it's rad."

"Aww, lil' boy thinks I'm disgusting? Don't like my piercings? Guess it's a good thing I'm here for me, not you. Might go get my lip done again this week, just for you, babe."

"Nice tat, mate. Where'd y'get that done, Primal Instinct? They do great work, real clean. Got my sleeve done there."

"Oi, got enough perfume, lady!? Y'reek of hairspray and bug killer!"

Piercings

*On his reference image, his piercings are colored in red to make them more visible*

-industrial, x3 in each ear 

-orbital, x2 in each ear

-anti tragus both ears

-upper lobe, both ears

-stretched lobe, both ears

-transverse lobe, both ears

-tragus, both ears

-daith, both ears

-forward helix, both ears

-conch punch, both ears

-eyebrows, x3 rings x2 vertical bars, both

-bridge

-nasallang

-septum

-tongue

-medusa

-spider bites

Tattoo: a sleeve on his left arm depicting a Caterkiller and two Flicky skulls on a checkered background

Attire: wide black spiked bracelets, spiked black steel toe boots, several silver rings on his fingers

[boldlygowriting]

Character Development Tips

In the middle of June I decided to begin writing a novel. I’ll openly admit that this story was originally fan fiction. Following the long line of authors before me who have done the same. I barely associate the content I based this off of with the content I’m writing now and I had to make everything original. Gripping backstories, physical features, mannerism, speech, names (can you tell naming them was stressful yet?). 

So how did I go about creating these characters (especially ones from other’s fiction)? 

Well, for a lot of them I kept the basic traits that I originally saw in them. I expanded on the ones I liked best, did away with the ones that didn’t interest me and have added new ones throughout plotting the story. 

A perfect example would be the one of the main character’s best friends. His original counterpart was weak-willed, apathetic, sweet, and blindly devoted. 

I did away with weak-willed and apathetic, but kept sweet. His apathy turned to a floaty, hedonistic, wish-washiness that has to do with a strong belief in fate and astrology. His spinelessness turned into a temper that’s easily triggered when someone tries to hurt him, his friends or an innocent bystander. 

His original counterpart has a fear of being left behind which I adapted into a high school setting, which became a fear that his friends might outgrow or replace him. 

*Side tip!!*: This is the main character’s best friend (one of three, actually) and notice how not only have I given him personality traits, but an underlying fear that affects the story. Give your secondary character’s lives and motivations too! They don’t have to be big, just there.

But what if I’m starting from scratch?

Everyone makes characters differently. When starting from scratch, be creative and have fun, this is the fun part. Look at face claims on the internet and imagine a personality. Look at archetypes and tropes that interest you. How can you subvert them or build on them? (*this also helps you develop a concept!)  Maybe you’ve already got some personality traits in mind, in that case...

Tip #1: Be discerning when picking traits. 

The most important thing is to think about how these personality traits help and harm them throughout the story. If the trait doesn’t excite the reader (even if that reader is just you right now) or affect them throughout the story, it might not be necessary or it requires some tweaking.

My example: Cameron is a people-pleaser. It helps him because he’s able to quickly get into people’s good graces which he needs to do in the story, but it also harms him because he has trouble saying no to people and is easily manipulated. Both sides of this trait affect the story. 

Tip #2: Their backstory should affect them now. 

I’m guilty. I am a sucker for a sad backstory. Not that every backstory has to be sad, but it should affect who they are in the present story and, if you’re really crafty, who they’re going to be. Not every moment of their past should drive them, but certain incidents or one big incident should.

Tip #3: What’s their motive?

Give them a motive that supports their traits and actions throughout the story. Sometimes the motive comes before the trait even like in my example...

My example: Ava is a character in my novel who serves as a maternal figure. Although a minor character, when developing her I had to think about her motives, in her case, it’s to maintain the status quo within her house. Why? Because security means she can live the way she likes to. You see how, as a maternal figure, that’s a bit selfish. Ava’s insistence on keeping her home in order, might mean she spends a lot of time making sure it looks nice, making sure her family looks presentable. 

If you were writing a character know that their traits, motives, and actions throughout the story all overlap.

As much as I talked about naming characters it’s getting pretty late and I’m pretty tired BUT here are some quick tips!!!

Naming your Characters

Use charts to help figure out what your character’s names are. For example, if you’re writing a historical fiction it might not hurt to look up the most popular names from that year. 

Go with your character’s (or your) vibe. Sometimes a name just fits without rhyme or reason. That’s okay! Are they tough? Maybe name them Axel. Do they live in the country? Annabelle could work. Are they the moody, emo type? Try Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way. 

Use name meanings. I personally love using name meanings. You don’t have to but if you’ve got some names in mind try looking them up and see if the meaning relates to who they are 

PLEASE be culturally accurate. People get names all sorts of ways, maybe they named themselves, maybe they’re adopted, maybe they’re Cornelius Montgomery the Sixteenth. But please take the time to research your character’s race and ethnicity and see what names might be common. This applies for first and last names. 

Ask a friend. Or heck name them after someone. 

And because I love shamelessly talking about my characters here is an example or two:

Cameron’s name process was a lot less arduous than Zaire’s. Cameron is relatively plain. His name isn’t supposed to stand out and neither is he so I chose a fairly common first and middle name: Cameron Benjamin. It doesn’t stand out, and it’s relatively timeless. Also as an added bonus people who are close to him are shown because they call him “Cam.” If he had a name that was harder to shorten, I wouldn’t be able to have all those sweet, sweet moments. Note: I didn’t place a last name because I haven’t come up with one yet, sometimes it takes a minute and that’s okay. Keeping plugging away at other stuff.

Zaire’s name on the other hand...is a bit...extravagant. His full name is Zaire Apollo McClaine. Zaire’s first name doesn’t have a significant meaning but it sounds eerily similar to the word Sire. As the most popular kid in school, one could say the king of the school...You see what I did there. ;)  Secondly, I wanted his first name to tell the reader something about him. Not to dance around it because I could write a whole rant about article titles like “Chinese Names that Make You Want to walk the Great Wall” or “Baby names for Black Panther Wakanda Lovers,” but you don’t commonly see a white person named Zaire and that’s the point. Sometimes a name should give an immediate clue about a crucial part of who they are. 

Apollo also gives of a god-like connotation and points to the fact that his parent clearly have high aspirations for him with a name like Zaire Apollo. Also Apollo was the god of music (among many other things), and one of Zaire’s main interests is making music. 

For his last name, McClaine, I wasn’t thinking of Zaire. I was thinking of his father Pierce McClaine. It suits him. Together Pierce McClaine sounds like a classic Hollywood name, but attached to Zaire Apollo you don’t get the same effect, which was intentional. This hints at their relationship, which is to say, Zaire doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of his family.  So this wasn’t much of an update on what I did today so much as it was helping you all figure out character development, but that’s all good with me!!! I hope this helped. 

Let me know what your character’s names and traits are and if you used any of these tips!!!

[lilithsgayadoptednephew]

Holy Hands

Fandoms: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!   Not Rated Graphic Depictions Of Violence F/M, Other Complete Work

Chapter List

Chapter 36

3 months

3 months MC had been gone. Off who knows where doing who knows what. They had been gone without a word, they were probably trapped somewhere. Or worse.

The brothers struggled, but eventually they accepted it. Though they couldn't deny there was a human sized void in their lives that Acacia shouldn't be trying to fill. No matter how much she thought she needed to.

Lucifer never gave up his trust that MC had left with the intention to return. He was, however, starting to believe they may have failed. Now they were unable to come back to him for one reason or another. It made his stomach turn that he'd let them go in the first place.

He should've held them tighter, kept them closer. Under his watchful gaze they'd never be in harm's way, nothing was so bold as to challenge Lucifer nor those under his protection.

Now when he slept he did it alone, colder than stone and twice as harsh were his nights. When he ate he could hardly taste, what was the point if MC wasn't there to cook for him? to scornfully remind him he needed sustenance in the first place.

Technically as a demon he didn't need it as much, but he never forsake a meal, or a nights rest. Even though they were gone he could still hear them telling him he was going to waste away if he didn't take care of himself.

He believed them.

Now he stood on a sheer ocean cliff on Earth. In one hand he held the horn Abaddon had given Simon, in the other he held Acacia's hand.

Since MCs disappearance, Acacia had insisted she be present for any and all planning against Michael. She gripped his gloved hand awkwardly, but she wouldn't be the one to let go. She knew how Lucifer could be devious, and she wasn't going to let him discretely leave her behind.

Lucifer would never do such a thing to someone MC cherished so deeply, but if it made the silly girl feel better than so be it.

After three months of planning and hiding and outright stalling for MCs return, he could no longer ignore that they were in need of help. An unhinged demon with a hoard of terrors at his beck and call would be a big help.

Swallowing his disgust he raised the larger end of the horn to his lips and called for Abaddon.

The horn made a sound like a thousand cicada's chattering in a field. The sound grew so loud with the hissing Acacia had to cover her ears.

The silence that crested after the cacophony was almost as deafening.

They stood on the hill for a few beats. Waiting, listening. It was only when their guards dropped for a moment that a voice from behind them made them jump.

"Tidings"

The two turned suddenly. It was impossible to startle Lucifer, but this man came dangerously close. Yellow eyes seemed to be crusted open, unblinking. His rectangular pupils drawing from one figure to another and back again. He licked his lips absently with a scaly black tongue.

"Two birds on a wire." He said softly. "Why have you flown here? Why have you called me?" He approached them in long rhythmic strides as he spoke. Lucifer cleared his throat.

"The angels stole your hoard for their means, perhaps we can interest you in...revenge?" Lucifer's eyes narrowed at the reclusive demon. The latter just chuckled, it sounded more like clicking.

"Oh Helel...I am not a vengeful creature. If you have want of my assistance you must offer me something more…" He pressed two fingers hard into his temple. His wrist twisting unnaturally away from his skull. "... substantial." Lucifer cringed, he had nothing to his name. "Need a suggestion?" The creep dropped his hand back to his side and tilted one big yellow eye right into Lucifer's face.

"You have a request?" Lucifer kept his cool, though the stench was near unbearable.

"Well I'm sure I could think of something...I waaaaaaaaant…" he spun in a slow circle as he drew out the word. "Hmm….how about that little pet always trotting after you?" He asked innocently. Lucifer wasn't surprised, everyone seemed captivated by MC and this wasn't the first time someone has demanded them. His brothers, Diavolo, Micheal, it was honestly a miracle they weren't kidnapped daily.

He couldn't blame them, he did the same thing did he not?

"That's out of the question." He said calmly. "Think of something else."

"Ah but now I've got my heart set on it Luci!" The proud demon cringed at the way Abaddon used the nickname. "Please?" He grinned an uncannily wide and brown-toothed smile. Acacia looked from Lucifer to Abaddon, surely he wouldn't actually consider the offer.

Lucifer was thinking of something else...had Abaddon ever met MC? Usually people would know them before they wanted them...what did Abaddon want with his human?

"Why?"

"Hm?" Abaddon looked back to him, as if he'd gotten completely distracted in the short time Lucifer was quiet.

"Why do you want MC?" He clarified. He'd never give them up, but his curiosity demanded an answer.

"Oh for the prestige of course!" He yelled. "To have a human pet of my own would make many a demon jealous, especially if it was Lucifer's special human."

Lucifer's stomach turned. Everything about his words was sickening. The way he spoke, the condescending way he said his special human. The intentions he had, and the way he referred to them as it. He shook his head slowly.

"You are a truly depraved bastard and you'll never have contact with them" he almost laughed as he said it. Abaddon just waved one hand at him and hid his oblong face.

"Oh you…" he cooed and Lucifer rolled his eyes.

"Hey!" Acacia spoke up for once.

"Well Luci if you don't pay up you won't get my hel–"

"What is it Acacia?" Acacia looked at Lucifer and released his hand, turning to Abaddon.

"What about me?" Her voice only barely shook. Abaddon didn't know why Lucifer was letting the human chime in, but he decided to humor it.

"And...who are you?" He leaned in close, towering over the girl. His long, greasy locks falling down around his face and hers. Acacia gulped and resisted the urge to back up.

"Acacia what a–" Lucifer was interrupted.

"I am Acacia, MCs sister. I am willing to go with you if a human's what you want so badly." Lucifer's choked on his words at the humans brazenness.

"Ohooooooo!!!" Abaddon crowed and jumped up and down. Clapping his hands excitedly. "A human of my own! Hi he ho!"

"Not quite." She cut him off. Lucifer was shocked by the bargain being made without his input. He should stop Acacia from negotiating with the crafty man. He had to keep her safe for MC while they were gone.

But they needed Abaddon's help, and if MC had taught him anything it was to respect a humans autonomy. Acacia could make her own decisions.

He took a step back and watched the bargain unfold.

"What are you chattering about? No take backs!"

"Nah I'm not taking back anything" she raised her hands in a placating gesture. "But my service isn't unconditional." Abaddon huffed loudly.

"Lucifer y–"

"Ah ah" he stopped the greasy demon. "If you're to be negotiating the life of a human it is only fair you do it with said human."

"What does that mean?"

"It means eyes on the prize bucko" Acacia drew his attention back to her. "You wanna make a purchase you gotta talk to the owner, not the Uber driver who dropped her off." Lucifer decided not to comment on that... unorthodox comparison. Abaddon was amused, but participated.

"Very well, what are your terms, chickadee?" Acacia held up one finger.

"You and your hoard help get back the Devildom." She held up another. "Our contract is nullified in the event of any betrayal or tomfoolery." He rolled his eyes. She held up a third "and it is nullified in the event you no longer want me" she smirked. Abaddon grinned from ear to ear. Literally from ear to ear, his ears almost fell off.

"Is that all?"

"That's it." She confirmed.

Lucifer starred between the two parties. This sounded like a horrible deal. But the confident look not often seen on Acacia's face made him believe she knew what she was doing. He held his tongue.

Abaddon didn't seem to be suspicious, why would he be of a dumb human? He grabbed Acacia's hand and pulled her towards him, turning to Lucifer again.

"Alright, you have my support."

[nobodyfamousposts]

Hive-Minded Bad End

Per popular request: The Hive Wins.

It was an observatory once. A circular room with a single ornate window of beautiful craftsmanship. With a few mechanisms, it could be positioned perfectly for viewing any part of the night sky. Anyone would say it was a work of art.

Such a shame what it ended up being used for, though.

A blond male stood within the empty room looking out the now open window to the bigger city. A city that even at that moment was undergoing some rather great changes. He had a role in the current state of things, and felt pride in that.

If things had been different—if none of this had happened, what would he be doing now? Still going about his days restricted and isolated? Still fighting a hopeless battle? Still wishing for things that would never be?

“Sir.”

Adrien was pulled from his musings by a familiar voice, though he barely gave her a glance.

“Nathalie.” He greeted verbally. It was unnecessary now to bother with her name now, but it was only polite, regardless of her current status. “Have you found him?”

“No, sir,” Nathalie replied monotonously. “He managed to escape the Trackers. The last reports are that he has been making his way out the city. Some have indicated he was in the company of a group.”

That man. Of course he could never quit. He felt rage and resentment starting to boil under his skin, but forced himself to keep calm. He didn’t need to start an alarm.

“I see. Keep searching. They haven’t left the city yet. And knowing him, it may be a ruse to circle back around.” Knowing him, he wouldn’t be content to simply let this go. For once, Adrien hoped that would be the case.

Oh, not out of any desire for the man’s pathetic excuse for “love”, no, but just so he could thank him for the one worthwhile gift Gabriel had ever bestowed unto him before using that very gift to remove the man from his life once and for all.

Conversion was too kind of a fate for the man who was Hawk Moth. After all the misery and torment he had caused, even the listless life of a Drone was more than he deserved. But the question was still what to do with him once they found him? Perhaps Adrien could present his head to his Lady as a gift?

No, she wouldn’t like that. What would she do with it, anyway? Other than let him keep it to bat around at every so often? He’d get bored soon enough. And honestly, despite the initial humor of it, he wouldn’t want any reminder of the man anyway.

Not to mention that it would simply make a mess everywhere and start to smell after a time. They were so much more sensitive to such things now. Apparently blood was more of an annoyance to get out of carpet than he’d thought and the smell of even a few drops remained despite attempts to remove or cover it.

Oh well, carpets could be replaced easily enough.

“What else?”

“We have also sought out the location you gave us of one ‘Wang Fu’ you requested to be taken into custody.” She said as if reading off a script. There was really little difference in her countenance now, only she really was as emotionless as she always pretended to be. “By the time it was found, the parlor was devoid of any life. It is possible he may be among the group of those attempting to flee the city.”

That was troubling news. Fu still had Plagg and the other Miraculous with him, and from what Adrien was told, a copy of the book as well. The old man was crafty and resourceful to have lasted as long as he had. If he wasn’t found, there was every likelihood that he would pass out more Miraculous to others in an attempt to ‘rescue’ the city. He may even have a way to undo their connection, much as Adrien shuddered to think of it. Master Fu was the Guardian for a reason, after all. The fact that he was the last of them was more of a boon than anything.

It only made Adrien all the more grateful that Marinette and Ladybug had been one and the same. He had been outright giddy when he discovered the truth. And it only made him love her more. Now not only did it mean he was not forced to harm his Lady, but it also meant all of Ladybug’s knowledge and abilities were now benefitting the collective. Including the Ladybug earrings as well as all the memories and interactions she had with the Guardian.

Adrien knew from Marinette’s knowledge of Fu and that he had made more than his share of mistakes over the years, including the destruction of his own monastery. It eased some of his worries to know the Guardian was not infallible, but still...he didn’t want to take any chances. Especially not now that Plagg was with him.

Better safe than sorry, after all.

There had to be some way to get to the old man. Adrien owed him so much. He would hate to have to continue as enemies. If only they had a way to convince him...or at least slow him down or startle him enough to give them an edge.

Adrien paused, considering for a moment before an idea struck him.

“See if you can’t find where Marianne Lenoir is among those to be processed.” He ordered with a smirk. Because if anyone could counter Fu, she would be the best option.

It was the least he could do for Fu, after all. And besides, who was he to keep two old loves from reuniting?

And bringing Marianne into the matter would help all the more  to keep Gabriel from getting his greedy tainted grips into the other man, Adrien thought with a sneer. Gabriel would use anyone. And Fu wouldn’t refuse any assistance if he felt the circumstances were dire. He didn’t want Fu to feel he had to resort to working with his enemy out of some misguided desire to remove him from his new place in life and ‘save them from themselves’.

Better to end this quickly, he realized. Before anyone else realized what he was doing and attempted to alert the others.

“Notify those at the outskirts of the city to keep a look out. No one is to leave the city at this time. Detain anyone who is not recognized or unresponsive to the link.”

The Drone’s eyes flashed as she accepted the command.

“Yes, sir.”

With that, she was gone. And Adrien was alone. Alone in this dreary place that housed his father’s selfish short-sighted schemes. What had he been thinking? Wasting so much time and causing so much damage—all for what? A family he had as good as forgotten about for the past year? Even before?

Now that he had the memories of others to draw on and compare to, it only made his isolation and loneliness all the more bitter. Seeing what it was like to have actual loving families. Birthdays and Christmases and holidays spent together. Meals and games around a table. Parents that actually came to competitions and events.

He was just so jealous.

None of the others flaunted their good fortune. They showed him because they wanted to share it. They wanted him to see and experience what healthy and happy homes were like. And he appreciated that, he really did. He couldn’t help but feel grateful that they cared enough about him to want to share that warmth and include him.

But…

Those memories only made it all the more apparent what he was lacking. And he couldn’t help the grief and resentment he felt. For his life. For his loss. All because of his dear father, who was so caught up in a past he had been barely part of in the first place to appreciate the present that was still there.

Nostalgia truly did make fools out of people.

He would not be so blind.

When that fool of a man was finally found, Adrien wouldn’t waste words. Words were meaningless now, just as they always had been coming from him. Meaningless in the new home he found himself part of, where feelings were more real and said everything he needed. And meaningless to the man who was incapable of any feeling.

It still hurt, knowing that his own father had been behind the mask of his enemy. But it helped having his true family supporting him. His pain had been theirs. His sorrow was soothed by their support. And their anger at the revelation and his past mistreatment had spurred his own—even when he hadn’t known such dark feelings to exist.

If he still had been anything like he used to be, he would be horrified by all of this. By the current state of things. By what he had turned his friends into. By what he was doing to the city. By what he intended to do to his own father. By what he had helped to do to Lila.

But whatever bit of the old Adrien Agreste that remained was silent. He had been one of the ones to witness the liar being dragged off to her decided fate. No matter how she cried, pleaded, and struggled against them, it was futile. At one point, she managed to break away, rushing straight for him of all people once she saw him, sobbing and babbling. She had grabbed onto his shirt, begging for help. Begging for him to save her.

“Adrien, please! Don’t let them do this to me!”

And instead, he merely smiled in that way he knew people loved and Lila once adored.

“This is for the best, Lila.”

He watched as his words registered and her face twisted in horror at the realization. Of just how alone she truly was. That no one would be taken in by her again. That the end had come. And that all her lies and manipulations had been what led to this. At that point, he helped the others to take Lila to her judgement, though his assistance was no longer necessary. He had already seen the way the light left her eyes and she lost any sense of hope. Still, it was only polite to have a friend escort her to her end. Not that she was much of a friend to him, but Adrien could at least pretend for her in her final moments.

He should have felt remorse. And yet, there was nothing. No guilt. No inner conscience telling him this was wrong. None of that moral righteousness crying about how ‘other people’ felt. It was just gone.

And he couldn’t be happier for it.

Before, he was ignorant to the injustices of his life and suppressed his own feelings in a desperate attempt to appease others.

Now, he suppressed those darker emotions, but for an entirely different reason.

His family. And of course, his Queen.

He could feel her in the back of his mind. Offering direction, reassurance, and affirmation as needed. Keeping lines of communication clear and all Workers orderly. She was so busy, especially as they were starting out. And yet, she still made sure to offer kindness and support to each of them. No matter how busy she was, she was never too busy for him.

Adrien sighed, trying to will the negative thoughts away. There was no need for that now that they were whole. But he still couldn’t help but feel the intense urge to rip that man apart.

There was no doubt in his mind that Gabriel was looking into every possibility to worm his way back and take away yet another piece of happiness Adrien had managed to make for himself. He half-wondered if the man wouldn’t find a way to piece himself back together if made a Drone. He certainly was stubborn enough. Still, it was all the more reason he needed to be dealt with before he could become any more of a threat. Just like Lila had been. Just like Chloe once was before Marinette decided to show mercy, even as she had to relive the cruelty the other girl put her through.

Chloe had been grateful for the opportunity to serve the Hive afterwards, and the collective did seem stronger for it. But he still remembered the pain and resentment from Marinette’s memories of the heiress. And it hurt that she had been forced to feel that, especially as she was offering this chance to her tormentor for what she thought was Adrien’s own sake.

That was why Adrien had taken it upon himself to deal with the man this time without allowing the others to be aware. It only seemed fitting. It was his father. His burden. And his gift to the collective for accepting him so readily.

Especially Marinette. After everything that had happened and everything he had not done for her, he still didn’t think he deserved her. Her love for him was more than he ever hoped it could be, even if it was too much for her own good. It was...beautiful. Overwhelming. A dedication that he had never experienced before and only made him want to return it all the more. She had done so much for him without him even knowing. And out of this love for him, she would no doubt try to rehabilitate his father and add him to the collective if she thought that was what Adrien wanted.

It really wasn’t. He didn’t need a father. Especially not such a sorry excuse for one as Gabriel Agreste. His collective was his family. They were his support. His lifelines. The only ones he needed. He no longer needed a parent’s guidance now that he had her to lead him. And he certainly didn’t need that man continuing to meddle in his life and desperately trying to remind him of years of emptiness he wanted to forget.

But he could hardly tell her that. It would only make her sad.

He wanted to spare her this. His Queen was still so kind-hearted. She didn’t need to deal with the mess of the transition or Adrien’s petty feelings or lingering issues with him.

But…she WAS kind-hearted. And though she didn’t need to and shouldn’t have to, she did care. Too much, perhaps, even now. He loved her for it, even as it frustrated him. He only wanted to keep her at peace, after all.

His attempts were in vain. Though he tried to suppress it, she sensed his ire and turned her focus on him, questioning. And he could never hide anything from her—could never want to so long as she was there and he was hers. Soon enough, he felt her searching and finding the source of his negative feelings. At that, her curiosity turned to concern and he almost collapsed at the pure sensation of comfort that enveloped him in response as she brushed those horrible thoughts away.

He felt it, like a hand petting through his hair, making him want to lean his head back into it and purr. It was bliss. She didn’t even need to soothe away his lingering resentment, simply having her affection was enough.

Of course, why settle for it through the link when he could have the real thing?

Within minutes, he left that dreary place to the much warmer and homey nest they had begun building of the mansion. He spared no notice to the Drones and Workers inside, and they all knew enough to stay out of his way as he was being called.

The Core group sensed his intent and responded with laughter and sensations. A noogie from Nino and a whisper of encouragement. A push from Alya and demand to not keep “her girl” waiting. Giggles and nudges urging him onward and to hurry up already!

Soon enough, he was at the Office. Where that man once resided and where she now took her rightful place in leading this new world they were making. She was every bit the Queen in grace and presentation for all the she maintained the appearance of a normal teenage girl. But she was humble. Even with everything at her disposal, she still preferred to use her own designs as before. Looking at her in her normal clothes and pig-tails, no one outside of the collective would think she was the leader. She didn’t need anything extravagant to show her position. And none of them needed any such thing to recognize her.

“Adrien!” Marinette exclaimed, smiling at him knowingly when he entered. She knew he was coming. He knew she did. But her face still lit up upon seeing him enter and it made him feel more at home than this place had ever been to him.

She wagged a finger at him. “You’ve been trying to be secretive again.”

He smiled, reaching forward to take her hand in his own and bestow it with a kiss. “I only wanted to spare you the irritation, My Queen.” His issues were minor compared to the chaos she had been managing so far. The least he wanted to do was try to deal with some of the potential stressors to her new rule before they could interfere and get out of hand.

“You are never an irritation.” She assured him. Her words were beautiful to hear but the pure love that emitted from her with them was all the assurance he could have hoped for. Sensing his desire, she giggled and opened her arms, happy to indulge him.

Well, with an offer like that, who was he to refuse? And soon enough, he was where he belonged at his Queen’s side. She laughed, petting him physically as well as mentally. With but a touch, she soothed away the irritations and concerns burdening his mind. Basking in that much affection, he didn’t even bother to hide the purrs.

“You are still such a cat.” She chided, playfully.

“I can’t help my nature, M’lady.” He said, sighing happily as he pushed his head into her lap and nuzzled her gently.

He couldn’t. And he didn’t want to. Now, he never needed to. He could be as he wished and with full support of his family.

This was everything he could have wished for.

And as the Queen and her Knight basked in each other’s presence and planned for their new future, neither took note of the red kwami curled up in the corner of a shelf in the room and dreading what was to come.

[templeofulchtar]

Ghost Season Working Pt 1/7

Introduction

Welcome to the Ghost Season Working!

This 63-day journey will guide you on a mythic underworld quest that mirrors Starscream’s quest to regain his physical body in the Transformers episode, Ghost in the Machine. The ritual’s purpose is to bring about a ‘resurrection’ in a specific area of your own life.

No, that doesn’t mean literally bringing anyone back from the dead (sorry!). Instead, the ritual’s magical intent is to release whatever is blocking your success in a particular area of your life, as chosen by you, and to bring about a deep healing and transformation of that particular aspect of your life.

Before I continue, one quick caveat: This is an occult ritual. No, we won’t be doing anything 'evil.' No demons will be summoned, no hexes cast, and no furry creatures will be harmed. If you undertake this journey, however, you will be working some magick. With a ‘k.’

If that sounds scary or doesn’t mesh with your worldview or personal religious outlook, this Working may not be for you. And that’s fine. Please don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you’re curious, though, read on!

What is Ghost Season?

Ghost Season is the period between August 22 (my hypothesized anniversary for Starscream’s death) and October 23 (my hypothesized anniversary for Starscream’s resurrection). If you’re curious as to my reasoning for choosing these dates, take a look at my essay, The Astrology of Starscream’s Death and Resurrection in G1.

Ghost Season is, for me, a time of inward reflection and self-transformation. The Ghost Season Working molds that theme of self-improvement into a 63-day (9 week) ritual in which each participant, or ‘Seeker,' works diligently through means both magical and mundane to bring about a desired change in a particular area of their life.

Did I say… work?

Oh yes, I sure did. When Starscream made his pact with Unicron in Ghost In The Machine, the Dark God demanded three Labors in exchange for restoring Starscream to physical life. We, too, must take on Labors in order to create healing and transformation in our own lives.

But, you might be thinking, isn’t this supposed to be magic? Why do I have to do anything? Shouldn’t magic do the work for me? Sorry, but no. That’s Hollywood’s idea of magic. You wave a wand, a pretty light-show appears, and poof! Your heart’s desire materializes before you in a cloud of smoke.

As fun as that would be, real-life magick is… quieter. Rarely will it make itself known in obvious ways. Instead, it will shift energies into alignment with your intent and arrange probabilities to work in your favor.

An example of real-life magick:

I used to have a nasty old car that broke down all the time. I was working as a pizza delivery driver at the time, and needed this car for my job. At the same time, I was spending more money keeping the car on the road than I was actually earning at the job.

One day, the car started acting up right after I’d just spent a bunch of money on it, and I snapped. I knew I was going to have to take it back to the mechanic and spend a bunch more money that I couldn’t afford. Before leaving, though, I cast a spell. I created a symbol (also called a sigil) representing my intention to become the kind of person whose car always runs well. I drew the symbol on my skin and rubbed it in with oil, infusing my intention into my body.

By the time I arrived at the garage, my coughing, spluttering car was running smoothly, and the mechanic couldn’t find anything wrong with it. The car continued to be reliable after that, and because I’d cast the spell on myself rather than on the car, my subsequent vehicles have also been very reliable.

Could this be explained by a mundane cause? Of course! In fact, I’m sure there is a mundane explanation. Does that make it any less magical? Some might think so, but I disagree. I believe that it shows that our physical world holds far more than meets the eye. It is infused with magick. Matter and magick are not separate, but are in fact two manifestations of the same energy.

When you do magick, you engage with the natural forces of the universe. By aligning with them and enlisting their cooperation, you begin to find yourself in the right place at the right time. You’ll meet people who can help you, or impart the skills you need in achieving your goal. You will get sudden rushes of creative inspiration, and the exact information or resource you needed will itself themselves in your path almost… as if… by magic.

But here’s the thing: you still have to do the work. You still have to apply for the job, write the novel, run the marathon, practice your musical instrument, or show up for class. All the magic in the world can’t do that part for you. 

The good news, however, is that you don’t have to do the work by yourself.

Working With Starscream

You are not alone.

That it is the truly wonderful thing about this journey. I’m going to assume that if you’re considering embarking on the Ghost Season Working, you are probably a Starscream fan. Or, at least, interested in becoming one. I’ll say right now that one of the things I’ve always admired about Starscream is his sheer, stubborn determination to get what he wants.

Starscream is crafty, resourceful, and above all determined. If at first he doesn’t succeed, he tries something else. And something else again, if that doesn’t work. I’ve written a whole essay about this in relation to his search for Skyfire, and as any Transformers fan knows, Starscream’s attempts to wrest leadership of the Decepticons from Megatron’s grasp are legendary.

When Unicron demanded three labors from Starscream in exchange for restoring his physical body, Starscream’s immediate response was: “Only three? Name them!” He didn’t allow himself to become Unicron’s slave the way Galvatron had, but he also didn’t flinch from doing what needed to be done. In the end, he got his body back—through magic, yes—but first he had to do the work.

By entering into the Ghost Season Working, you are aligning your quest for self-transformation with Staracream’s underworld journey. In doing so, you become his ally and his companion, and, in a very real sense, he becomes yours. I can personally attest that he is a wonderful guide and companion, and I’m very excited to have this opportunity to show others how they, too, can engage with him on a spiritual level if they so choose.

Want to know more? See Part Two for a Ritual Overview.

___________

Note: Yes, I’ve been posting a lot lately. If you were wondering if this sudden flurry of activity was leading up to something, why yes! Here it is. I’ve been wanting to create a proper ritual for Ghost Season for ages, and now I’ve finally gathered my thoughts and materials together to create one. I will be posting this at Archive of Our Own, too, so if you would like a downloadable e-book version of the ritual, plus supporting appendices, it will be available there. Sort of a “grimoire edition.” Here’s the link: Ritual: The Ghost Season Working

[photon-bytez]

Well…. The last few days regarding Dr. Crafty has been a real ride, and not in a good way.

For anyone not aware of what happened, Alex Tansley, the guy behind the old (and now deleted) YouTube series, committed SA on Cherri Whitewing, who was a former partner of his. Cherri released a statement about her former relationship with the guy, and people were PISSED. After being exposed for what he did, he’s since deleted his social media pages, and left the internet entirely. For anyone curious about what happened, the statement can be found here. (Quick NSFW/SA warning for anyone curious tho)

And it’s not just Cherri that Alex has negatively affected over the course of his career. As it turns out, many of the people that helped him with his old show were treated like trash. One of them, @newtafterdark, revealed some unused concept art and lore bit for the show in a discussion that we had about his history with Alex, which can be found here.

As I mentioned in the original post, Disgustilda would’ve been revealed to not only be an Infinia, but also Sasha’s mom. With the info presented by Newt, the plan was for her to be revealed to be the creator god of the entire Infinia species, going by the name of Antithesis. Not only that, the designs for all 7 Infinium Relics were shown off, with the reveal that they were the remains of Sasha’s siblings…

Yeah, that part is incredibly messed-up, but that was planned.

Another thing to bring up is how Stylene was originally gonna be a transwoman by the name of Spella, a sweet farmgirl with a spooky vibe to her that would feed transphobes to her carnivorous plants. The Shake-Up Saloon was also revealed to help folks be happier with their appearance, as the whole point of that spin-off was redesigning characters. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Stylene as she was in the original show, but seeing how Newt’s original ideas were rejected for what’s basically a stereotype made me realized that we were basically robbed. When it really comes down to it, the Crafty cast was screwed-over, between this and how many of the others were mid at best in terms of writing. As much as Alex owned these peeps, he frankly doesn’t deserve them anymore, and people should be feel to reclaim these characters and have fun with them, ether for fan-projects to do a much better take on the series (if that’s even possible) and/or reconceptualizing them.

Oh, and get a load of this; there were plans for Mindstein to be revealed to be… a nazi…

Yeah… I get that Alex wanted to make her “1000% irredeemable”, but that whole nazi idea was just pointlessly redundant. It was redundant back then, and it still is now. Alongside Sasha, I kinda have a bit of a soft-spot for Mindstein, mainly due to how I think she really could’ve been done better.

All and all; the Dr. Crafty cast was done dirty, and deserved better. Many thanks to Newt for providing me with the info he gave me, and to everyone reading this; Please support Cherri, along with every other person harmed by Alex. They all deserve better after what they respectively went through.

I know that I haven't talked about this show on here alot, but I feel like the original run/canon of Dr. Crafty, even after being canned, still has its own charm. And while his artistic work has been slower now due to him being a streamer, Crafty is still a pretty good artist and character designer. What I'm going for here is going over the main Dr. Crafty cast, sharing my thoughts about 'em. I have some personal thoughts on especially a few of these peeps, and it'll show as we go on. With that said, let's get Crafty.

(WARNING; Spoilers for Dr. Crafty are gonna be brought up alot. If you haven't seen this show, check it out)

Given how they were the main duo of the series, along with being at the center of its conflicts, I wanna start with Dr. Crafty and Nurse Worse. The chemistry (Pun not intended, I swear) between these two easily makes for some of the best character interactions in the show. Between the light banter they had in Season 1, and the more serious bits of personal trauma and flaws that the show in later seasons (Crafty and his past with Sasha and how it's negatively affected him after she left, and Nurse's trauma from Mindstein), they're some of its more fleshed-out characters. If there's anything that might be considered a flaw, the show ending so soon means that these characters aren't gonna have their arcs completed. As someone who stuck around in the show's early years, that kinda blows. And as much as I understand why the series ended the way that it did (The show being too expensive for more episodes to get made, along with the voice actors moving on to other projects), I feel like something could've been added for these peeps.

As for the main duo themselves, I feel like Crafty is a very good mix of funny and complex, and Nurse serves as a good co-host-type of character. As someone who's a big monster geek, I can really get behind the idea of a mad scientist and a cute Frankenstein girl running a web show together. Overall, Crafty and Nurse are a nice duo of protagonists.

Out of the show's roster of co-hosts, Pepper is the one that I have the most to say about. Between both of her designs (The one that was used for the show, along with the recently revamped one made by Blue-Paint-Sea, Pepper and Pickles' creator), they both do an amazing job showing off this gal's traits. A gentle giant, BBW octopus lady who's also a chef and has an air-breathing sea cucumber as a lil' buddy is a pretty out-of-the-box idea, but it works so well. Pepper is basically the biggest sweetheart of the cast, and her mannerisms, looks, and personality all help with that aspect. And while he's only one part of this duo, Pickles himself makes for a interesting character in his own right, with part of his charm due to how there's no other character in the main cast who's similar to him.

If there's any aspect that these two that I love the most, it's how even after Dr. Crafty as a show has ended, they're still around! Due to how Pepper and Pickles also fit in as characters made by the aforementioned Blue-Paint-Sea, they're still gonna be around as part of their own story. If you haven't seen Blue's work already, I highly recommend it, especially if you're a huge fan of Banjo-Kazooie.

Debuting alongside Pepper and Pickles in the same year, Messibelle was the third co-host to join the cast. While I don't have nearly as much to say about her as I've had for Pepper, Messi herself is still a fun character to talk about. Similar to other characters in this series, Messi's very concept is one that's rather unique. A lesbian slime maid who's thirsty as all hell is a fun character concept that the shows goes all-out on showing off. Her being the youngest out the bunch is another aspect to Messi's character that's shown off pretty well, as well as technically being Crafty's daughter due to how he himself was responsible for creating her after dumping a bunch of cleaning products down the sink.

Aside from how she's changed and matured as a character in the later seasons due to how some people had a problem with how she was written early on, my final note for Messi is how she was voiced by the incredibly talented Toxicsoul77, who appears to be one of my favorite online artists. The woman has plenty of talent when it comes to these sorts of things, and it definitely showed here.

For what I've got to say on Crystelle, I feel like she's a fun character that didn't get enough spotlight due to the show being canned. Don't get me wrong, she's had a good amount of moments ever since she was introduced in Season 3, but part of me feels like if there was a chance to fully flesh her story out alongside everyone else, it should've been taken advantage of. Aside from that, Crystelle's design is one of the best and most creative out of the entire cast. A fortune teller is one thing, but having their own head be a crystal ball is a very neat idea that I don't think I've seen elsewhere. Aside from that, the Questionable Qloest spinoff is my personal favorite of the main show and its various spinoffs. There's just something so chill and calm about it that I very much like, as Crystelle is not only the perfect host for a show like it, it plays a big part of this show by sharing out bits and pieces of lore about the greater Crafty universe as a whole. It's sweet, I like it.

I honestly feel like Stylene was the character that was done the dirtiest by the show's cancelation. I'm not saying that it was the show runners' fault for this, I'm just saying that they were cooking for this witch is gonna be banging. Even with how her story is gonna remain unfinished, Stylene herself was still a pretty dynamic character. And as someone who likes redesigns of characters, she basically speaks to me on a personal level, considering that's basically what her spin-off show was all 'bout.

As for what else I could say about Stylene? Well, it's my personal headcanon that she's definitely gay on some level. Probably bi, if we're honest. This woman is the pure definition of be gay, do crime.

Now that the Crafty Crew's taken care of, we can move on to essentially my favorite character of this entire show. Sasha is absolutely GREAT, y'all, and it kinda feels like she would’ve been the type of character to get popular onto her. Not only is this a very effective design for a cosmic horror, nor how she's adorable in both of her forms, how she's written very well as a character that plays in a huge part in Crafty's past, has gotten plenty of character development, or how she fits well with the other characters she's on screen with personally (Including a certain hunchback old lady(?) that we'll get to shortly)... she's just that versatile as a character in her own right. There's basically two sides of Sasha that perfectly capture what I'm trying to say here...

(Remember, these two designs are from the same exact character. One side is a terrifying eldritch abomination capable of permanently erasing you from existence if she wanted to, and the other is a goofy, lovable nerd)

If I can be real here, I honestly feel like gushing about Sasha on here is something that should happen more. This absolute goof of a lovecraftian horror is one of my personal favorite characters in fiction, and she deserves alot more love these days. The last thing that I wanna say about this woman for now is if there was some sort of way to easily deal with the whole conflict of who Crafty eventually falls in love with... Have him, Nurse, and Sasha be in a polycule together. Nurse has been hinted to be bisexual alot in the show, and she even blushed upon seeing Sasha in her human form for the first time, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to be into both Crafty and Sasha. And Sasha would feel like she would be absolutely bi. Again, alongside Messi being a lesbian and Pepper being grey-asexual, the other Dr. Crafty characters would certainly fit with the IGBTQ+ community.

What I'm trying to say here is this: let Sasha be gay, dammit.

Regarding my feelings about Mindstein.... Well, in my very humble opinion, Mindstein is kind of a mixed bag, if I'm really being honest. On one hand, she's got quite a bit going for her; Pretty good design that highlights her personality well, Oliva Steele doing a great job with her voice, as she's a horror buff, and being very horrifying as an irredeemable monster. On the other hand, however, I feel like she could've had more as a character. I'm not saying that she shouldn't be as much of a bloodthirsty, power-hungry psychopath that revels in the chaos and terror that she causes, as she was in the show whenever she showed up. All I'm saying is she should've been a bit more comedic, if that makes sense for this lady.

I get that this lady came about in the first place as a potshot towards White Diamond and how the show that she came from literally had no problem with redeeming a literal dictator, but I feel like Mindstein had a sort of weird silliness that could've been taken advantage of. With a name like DR. MINDSTEIN., that would definitely be the moniker of a villain who's both funny and threatening at the same time (Think something like Jack Horner, but a mad scientist lady). If it was possible, I feel like making this blue-brained bitch a complete nutcase and girlfailure who's absolutely petty as all hell would've been very fun. Have this woman be annoying the ever-living hell out of her victims as torture, getting into the most petty arguments imaginable on purpose, get herself into trouble when her plans blow up right in her face, and having Screw drag her out of it, much to her chagrin, go into mad fits of insane-induced laughter, taking the chance to toy with her victims personally for pranks while not working on her evil plans, and just being an absolute bratty gremlin to deal with, all while keeping her power-hungry motivations and sadistic tendencies. This would also fit in with being a sort of dark foil to Crafty. She's absolutely rotten to the core, she shouldn't be trusted anywhere near divine artifacts, she's in possession of far too many needles, she probably has rabies (and probably more than happy to bite you to get you infested), she knows she's the most insufferable bitch on the place...

And she's very proud of it.

Getting a legacy is only second to her biggest drive in life; Being an absolute troll.

To be honest, I don't have alot to say about either Screw or Metal Crafty. I like how Screw had a redemption arc planned for her after Season 4 (Sadly, due to how the show's canceled, we'll never see it happen), and it's been revealed she herself secretly planned the coordinates for UA High when punching Crafty off into the distance, ensuring that he'll find help in wherever she sent him to. Again, going back to the dark foil thing a bit, Screw would absolutely be tired of her master/mother's bullshit.

As for Metal? I'm really gonna be honest, outside of him being introduced in a few Sonic-based episode to highlight Mindstein fucking with the Crafty Crew, he really doesn't have alot going for him. Again, maybe that could've turned out differently for him had the show continued, but that's just how the ol' ball bounces. Also, the guy who voiced him was uncredited due to how he was caught being a transphobe, getting fired in the process. Thought that would be something to point out.

What was originally a running gag character, Disgustilda has gone to be hinted to be alot more important to the show's plot than she was letting on. Yeah, she's definitely a buffoon, but given what was planned for her later on if the show didn't end, you'd be very surprised.

See this? The suspiciously-looking Infinia-like abomination that briefly appeared at the end of Season 4's Sonic Month? The original plan, according to the show's What Could Have Been page on TV Tropes, was to not only reveal that Disgustilda was an Infinia. Get this.

DISGUSTILDA IS SASHA'S MOM

I have no idea what would've happened if the show fully revealed this twist, but whatever it could've been, it could've been a McFuckin' spectacle. Given how the castle that the Crafty Crew lived in was revealed to be hers, Disgustilda already had alot layer of plot brilliance to her. I can see her both helping Sasha with expressing her feelings and wanting to make up to Crafty for leaving him behind in the past (along with having her ask Nurse out), but also smacking the ever-living hell out of Mindstein when her full form was revealed.

All and all, Dr. Crafty was a crazy experience to someone like me, and I feel like it certainly fits the confines of this blog well. While Crafty himself has moved on to his V-tuber career (hope that goes very well for him), I wanted do justice to the original show's canon and characters by talking about them. If you haven't seen this show on Youtube, give it a watch.

Still tho, Crafty, Nurse, and Sasha should've been in a polycule. They deserve each other, dammit.

[kimletaon]

An Editor’s Confession: A Villanesque: Not Really

- To Ilf and Petrov, the masters of satire.

I met him years ago when he was iffy honest.

He rhymed some decent words (much rarer – bawdy ones).

He was a nice and wary fellow: he was a poet.

He often was apologetic – it was chronic –

He tried to be genteel to make up for his art.

I met him years ago when he was steady honest.

Submitting verse, he shillyshallied, enjoying solace,

and muttered something mazed about metaphors.

He was a nice and wary fellow: he was a poet.

I do repent: his path, his pure artistic vomit

had roots in my re-editorial re-runs –

I met him years ago when I was steady honest.

“My friend,” I said, “You must be sick of verse and sonnets?”

“Are you?” I said. He checked the room, said “Aye,” and froze.

He was a nice and wary fellow: he was a poet.

“Then why do you write?” I asked. “What else should I write?” He said.

For fuck’s sake nothing! I chocked my words, returning murky glance.

I met him years ago when I was iffy honest.

He was a nice and wary fellow: he was a poet.

“You should, I think…

Or, maybe…

Like, you know that, right?

Like something jolly:

tropes, and puns, and schemes,

and new neologisms.

Try calques,

acronyms,

eponyms,

onomatopoetic words,

verbification and morphoderivation,

or simply, semaconontologyformation.”

“Like word-formation,” – my wary friend-slash-foe-to-be ardentlo-avidly engaged –

I see. But will such art be ergo monetized?

Is there a payment?”

“Yes, there is, it will, I will. If it is good. The word-formation.”

The poet’s eyes lit up with a predatory glitter.

He jumped up from his chair and blurted out, running ‘round the room:

“A median or high formation? I will soon so myself rewordreform,

so if your formalfaced physiognomy trusts me not,

I will rewordreform you to the informal phase…”

“I call this ‘talent’. Decidedly ‘a talent’,” I said, confused by his informal ‘you’

and his new not-so-formal-as-it-used-to-be approach.

The poet acted rather fancy.

He ran, he slurred,

he almost fainted twice.

He tugged his hands

like a stringed buffoon

while overturning chairs.

“Here, listen now,” he started reading the verse:

“The editor’s advice is clearly ample.

I will exceed all expectations

Here is a simple wordoxample

of crafty wordmanipulations.”

Kill me – so what if I gave him a hundred.

Taking the money, he sluggishly said:

“For the ‘nnovative four-liner

put my money in mine miner.”

I’ve got so scared of what I’ve done.

I grew expressively fatigued by his disdainful manners,

and our formerly so firm accord ungrew like… just ungrew.

“I woo-woof-want to collect my-my-my-meaw re-enterjacent payment,” he said

wearily next time I saw him.

I spread my arms.

“I have none,” I said.

“Oh, editor, don’t spread your arms, you spreaditor.

Don’t lie to me my cre-editor, or else you harm me like a pre-ditor.”

“Are you still a versifier?” I asked.

“I am,” he said.

“Thus, you are a versatile money-lacking licit tramp.”

(I tried to make a pun, which, I agree, is pretty plain.

However, I moved a heavy phrasebook folio further from his forky fingers).

“You are so witty,” he waived his hand and added dully:

“I’ll take just wifty.”

“Yes, right,” I carefully said and, hell knows why, continued,

“So you still write?”

“I do. I do, I write about cognac and cognactive experience.

I wrote about Poincaré’s conjecture. Here:

Historically a hollow square,

Formation also known as carré,

demands all combatants’ss courage.

One solder hails Poincaré:

‘Where is my carriage, my Poin-carré-age?!’

Did you enjoy the poem?” He asked.

“Ahem, I think it is a bit off topic?”

“Then things are sc-off-ing-pic. Please, pay-off topic?

I have another one about Trump,

like Trumpologic in the sense of t-t-t-t-reason?

Or better May-ish brexeting May-hem-ish season? Or…”

“I’m late for a meeting.”

“mee-liberty-ting first.”

“You are bothering me.”

“Both-earrings cost me-money. Pay me me-money, siredditor.”

“I will call 911.”

“Mine one and one. Do math, I’ll take your twenty.”

“Out, now!”

“Out-onomy is mine,” he started laughing.

“Out-now-bered reason, t-reason, ha-ha-hi. Put-in the pay-off for the out-now-ledge.

Ha-ha-hee-hee-shee-shee they ha-he-she!”

For the next two years, I didn’t hear his voice.

The rumor goes he drank, offending people.

Some even sued his ass – and all was legal.

His dearest wife had filed for divorce.

And yes, he wrote to her some formal verse.

(She left him for a fancy prosecutor)

“My wife had found a better prose-tutor

I bet, it was her own pro-see-choice.

I doubt she finds him very pro-supportive,

But she will learn her lesson’s pros and cons.”

I know for fact, the prosecutor riled.

He was, shall I concur, a bit assertive,

And had some savings both in stocks and bonds.

Thus, was the legal hearing outcome defined.

I read reports that the offended prosecutor

had added to his case a claim

that stated that the re-renowned poet

have had committed a criminal offense,

maliciously abusing grammar rules.

Our last encounter was at the train station.

The weather was awfully unpleasant:

one simply felt their breath to turn to frost.

He walked, accompanied by nurses.

(One was so large, I couldn’t see her face).

His suit was ironed well, his suit-tie

was rather absent, so was his old hat.

“We go to summer-house,” he seemed uplifted.

“My dear friend, is it so?”

“Yes, indeed.”

He seemed so happy.

“He meant the nuthouse,” the smaller nurse declared.

“Not not-house, some-err-house, I said,” he said.

“Excuse us,” the bulky nurse expressed.

“No! Not the not-house, some-err-house I need!

I de-decided, I pro-protest, I’m de-pro-frosted, I decide my field!”

In single iota his straitjacket locked.

“I did invent the Saturn! Don’t you dare to spit in that Grecian sat-urn!”

I never saw him again.

[bangays]

Okay y’all, here’s a bunch of stuff I’ve learned about sustainable living and urban farming. Keep in mind, I’m no expert and I’m always learning, but what better way to share my knowledge and learn more than to make a giant post? I’m going to put this under a read more so when I update this I don’t have old versions floating around and so it’s not a super long post. Also, i’m more than happy to answer any questions or add in any knowledge you may have!

This is version 1.0, updated 4/24/18

Anyways, I’m going to do this in three main parts: “I have no yard but I still wanna grow my own shit” “I have a yard and wanna grow shit” and “I don’t wanna grow shit, what else can I do?” Keep in mind that tips for each area could be modified or used if you fit in another category, so reading through the whole thing could be worthwhile! For example, the “I don’t want to grow” category has a lot of tips for sustainable living outside of growing produce. Also, I’ve lived in northeast Ohio my entire life so this specific growing zone (6a / 6b) is what I’m basing everything off of and have experience in. This is a link to GROWING ZONES, which tell you how hardy a plant has to be to grow in your specific location. Most plants on their seed packet will say where they are best for growing.

But first! Good tips for everyone:

Keep all food prep waste and food that’s started to rot for compost! If it came from the ground, it can go back into the ground! Composting is an extremely easy way to reduce your waste and it’s literally free (and fertilizer is so crazy expensive) Here’s a wikihow article about composting!

If you’re going to throw something away, try to think of ways you can use it! I’m not saying keep the button that fell off your pants that you’re never going to sew back on bc you’ll just become a hoarder, but if you have old containers, or something antique looking, see how it could be reused! This is called upcycling! This helps stop waste, reuses perfectly good items, and keeps plastics out of landfills! This is a cute article about upcycling for examples! 

Look into specific laws for your community! Some municipalities do not allow for farming on the tree lawn or do not allow for tall trees, fruit bearing trees, etc. If you go to or call your town hall there should be someone there to answer your questions bc going through legal documents is absolutely exhausting. 

Look into if your city allows chickens / ducks or if you have a fairly large yard, goats! They’re super great animals (that I honestly have minimal experience with) but do require much more love and care than a plant. Farm animals can live for years and require professional medical care, so if you’re v tight on funds I would not suggest this. Also, if you would not be able to kill a farm animal, there are many places that will do it for you or that you could sell it to for a lil profit. 

Rain barrels! Water from gutters is a great way to water plants, and some people even connect their shower drains (if they use plant-friendly soaps) to rain barrels to reuse the water for gardening! Obviously, do not use rain barrel water for human consumption because it has not been properly treated & we’ve put so much harmful shit into the environment. The simplest way is to get a giant ass bucket (like 20+ gallons) and reroute your gutters into them. (most gutters have one main gutter on the side of a house that most likely drains into the sewer system) (Also, do not make modifications to a house you do not own / are renting / etc) Here’s a simple way to make a rain barrel!

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP BEFORE WE START: If you want to plant something that does not naturally grow in your location, PLEASE make sure it is not an invasive species! This is a link to learn more about invasive species!

I have no yard:

Obviously, not having any green space makes any food production difficult. But! As long as you’re creative, there’s still a lot of ways you can grow your own produce. The best way if you don’t have any green space is to look into a local community garden. This is the best way to learn, because there’s always people outside tending their own gardens & they’ve always been super friendly. Also, this is a great way to get to know neighbors and get involved with your community! I know the community garden near my previous home in Cleveland had a start of the season fee, but they always had a garden coordinator on sight, tools available to borrow, and seeds to plant a garden with. Obviously, even community garden is different due to most being grassroots organizations, so I can’t speak for all of them. But, you’ll get a small square of land that’s all your to cultivate for a growing season! A small garden like this could easily be well managed by a 20 minute visit 3 times a week for weeding and watering. (If you live in a v hot and dry climate, you’ll need to visit more often)

Do you have windows in your apartment? (I sure hope so bc legally you have to) Window boxes are an easy way to grow herbs and small plants! These could be as simple as a old plastic container or if you’re crafty a wooden window box can be super cute! Here’s a link for how to make your own window box!

Do you have doors in your house? (God, again I sure hope so) Do you know those plastic shoe holders that go on the back of a door? Grow herbs in these! Obviously, this has to be in a room that gets a lot of natural sunlight. Or, if for some reason you don’t have doors, or just can’t stop yourself from slamming the door, just hang it up on two command hooks! This is a great way to grow your own herbs, because herb plants are typically p small and won’t rip through the plastic.

Grow your own potatoes / onions in planters inside! Potatoes and onions typically need much less sunlight than above ground plants. This is a link for indoor potatoes! This is a link for indoor onions!

I have a yard!

The first thing to do is see where water puddles in your yard. If you plant something in an area that typically has a 3 inch puddle when it rains, it’s not going to do well. Improving drainage is pretty labor intensive, so another option is to build raised beds! If you have the time and resources, here is an article about improving drainage!

The second most important thing is to look at where your yard has the most and least sun throughout the entire day! Plants are grouped into three specific categories, full sun (6+ hours a day), partial sun (4-6 hours), or full shade (Less than 4 hours). If you plant something that prefers full sun in a full shade area, it’s going to die practically instantly. This is an article that further explains sun / shade!

The next step is to design your garden! Every plant has a minimum distance it must be planted from other plants. Also, if you plan on having dogs or chickens, make sure you leave a space for the dog to poop & the chickens to graze so they do not destroy your hard work! Also, some vine-like plants (Such as tomatoes or beans) need a stake or a cage to grow around. There are many different garden designs and every yard has a different amount of sun, so pre-made designs should be used as a guide, not an absolute. This is a link to 19 different garden designs!

Do you want to grow corn or anything else tall? Great! DO NOT PLANT THESE IN NORTH-SOUTH LINES!! Corn grows to be 6-7 feet tall, and will cast a giant shadow on your other plants! If you plant them in a East-West line, they will cast a much smaller shadow on surrounding areas but will not impede the other corn plants. 

I don’t want to grow my own food:

Hey, I get it. Some people don’t have time and some people just don’t want to grow things. There’s a lot of things you can do to help live a sustainable life!

Take the bus / public transportation as often as possible! I know this is a basic example and many people use this as their main trasportation, but there’s so many people that refuse to use public transportation. Yes, everyone has a public bus horror story, but 99% of the buses I’ve been on have been super clean & efficient! Also, if you live ina rural area, I know this is not really an option for you. If you cannot use public transportation, car pool! Currently, 86% of Americans drive by themselves to work, which is super wasteful! 

Support your local farmers market! I know they’re known for selling honey for $7 for like three tablespoons, but there really is no better way to support you local farmers than to buy their produce! This also helps remove the grasp big business has on your community and keep money in your community, which most likely will be reinvested in your community! Most farmers markets are weekly and are held on weekends! If you look up your city / neighborhood there should be links to nearby markets!

Offer your yard to someone that wants to garden! I mean, free landscaping and they’ll probably offer you fresh food! But also, make sure you trust this person enough to give them free reign over your landscaping and you wouldn’t mind seeing them 3 times a week when they tend their garden.

Donate! Most urban gardens / garden collectives are 100% grassroots organizations, so donations keep these organizations going! I know living in the rust belt, we have so much land that was sitting vacant that is now brought back to productive use by urban farms! Urban farms help stabilize housing markets in neighborhoods and remove blight, and are one of the best hands-on ways to help fight food deserts in communities that cannot support a grocery store!

If you don’t have a local urban garden, start one! Even if you don’t want to grow food yourself, starting an organization that lets other people grow food in your community is a great way to bring a community together! Many land banks have programs where you can “rent” vacant land from them for a small fee (The land bank for Cleveland is $1 per year, I believe). Also, if you start an official nonprofit, that’s a great thing for your resume and all money you invest into it is tax deductible! giving your community the ability and the knowledge to grow its own produce is an amazing opportunity to bring a community together and has a great impact on a community’s health!

Thank y’all so much for reading & I hope this was even slightly helpful! Any questions, comments, suggestions, etc are greatly appreciated!!