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maizumis · 3 years ago

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LOVE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE - suna x fem!reader smau

part 5: the date

summary: after years of not talking to each other, your childhood best friend decided to reach out again, how will everything go?

note: heavy make out session with suna, he says ily as the stupid boy he is, thanks to @sunalma cos one of the songs is out of her playlists<33

series masterlist - part 6

An elevator ride couldn't feel so long and short at the same time, biting your lip, scared of seeing that person after so many years.

Clumsily taking your keys out of your bag, you open the door and there you saw it, perfect, handsome boy you fell in love on the young years of high school

“you look beautiful, as always” He told you with his deep voice that made you shiver on spot, he seemed more mature now, with features no longer like the ones of a teenage boy. You were out of guard when his arms wrapped comfortably around your waist, still leaning into it

Looking at him, at his eyes, that same green eyes that made you fall in love when you were a child and that green eyes that were making you fall in love, again “Rin, I missed you” you whisper with a soft tone, your head resting in the comfiness of the crook of his neck, his left hand came to cup your cheek, taking in how fucking pretty you looked like that

“I missed you too, so much, do you want to know what did I plan?”

“yeah rin, I'm sure I'm gonna love it" he took your hand in his, leading the way to the passenger sit in his car "you're not gonna found out until we are there, so you better be patient" he slid the seatbelt in front of him and pecked your hand before starting the car "okay, I can handle that"

"the aux is yours then, pretty girl"

your eyes widen after hearing that pet name "do you want me to call you daddy too?" it was supposed to be funny, you thought he would only call you pretty girl in texts, apparently not

"if you like"

Pretty Please by Dua Lipa starts playing in the background, gradually turning up the volume until it was hard to hear your own voice

Suna thought the sight was pretty, the window on your side rolled down with the wind all over your face, happily singing by the lyrics not giving a single fuck about the world, just as he loved to remember you

"This makes me remember of the old days but instead of the car, you in my room giving me a concert that, in fact, didn't ask for"

his comment took you back down to earth, old days, just old days, no feelings attached at the moment; you were praying to any god up there to make the butterflies go away in your gut go away, you were one hundred percent sure he could hear your heart beating from where he was sitting, not even the loud music could hide it

“old days? We should make new memories I think”

"yeah, we can make new memories but we shouldn't let go of the ones we have, hand me your phone" you did as you were told, suspicious of what he was about to do until you saw him open Spotify, oh okay, he is gonna change the song.

Fluorescent Adolescent was now blasting from the stereo "umm, love this song, gives me the dancing in front of a mirror with a brush vibe"

He chuckled at what you said "and you did that? would like to see it with my own eyes"

"We are almost there, babe, close your eyes"

"Babe? we are not dating, Rintaro"

"maybe we should"

maybe we what? that did take you back, choosing for peace, you shut your mouth and closed your eyes, anxiously waiting for what he had

"you have your eyes closed, right"

"yes, rin, they are closed, I didn't know you were blind"

he opened the door of your seat, interlacing your hands so he could guide you behind a tall tree "I need you to stay here until I have everything done, okay? it's not gonna take more than ten minutes" he didn't give you time to answer that he was already walking back to his car.

"better be something good" you murmured under your breath, turning on your phone to scroll through social media until he called you.

he called you exactly eight minutes after he dropped you behind the tree "if you don't like this, then I don't know what should I do"

The scene in front of you was dreamy to say at least, the back of his car decorated with fairy lights, lots of blankets that seemed so warm, and pillows in all their forms that you knew for a fact they were comfortable as fuck, you were quick to wrap your arms around his neck, chanting like a mantra 'rin, this is beautiful' and 'im so thankful' he gladly took you in his arms, his nose behind your ears, landing a sweet peck right there

"you ready for movie night, pretty girl?"

"bet your ass I'm ready, Rintaro Suna" and with that you were off, running to his car ready to spend the best night of your life

Or perhaps the beginning of the end, who knows

Howl's moving castle last scenes were on the screen of his laptop, a weird feeling in your heart after he remembered it was- no, is your favorite; you two stared sitting beside the other and now he has his arm protectively around you, his back straight against the backseat while your head was on top of his underarms, cheeks smashed to his collarbone "you did remember it, rin" your eyes still locked on the screen in front of you, watching the movie credits.

He looked down at you with soft eyes, deciding to close the laptop and pull it aside "how could I not? hand me my phone"

you did as you were told, searching for the little device under the huge blankets "here! take it"

he quickly searched for a song and toss it aside, I Wanna Be Yours playing inside the car from the 11-inch phone "come here" he signaled, patting his lap.

it took you a good minute to realize what he meant but now you're on top of him, looking at his emerald eyes in search of a hint of what he is thinking

he took his time analyzing your feature, looking at your cheeks, forehead, baby hairs, nose, lips, and finally your eyes, he could see the past in them, and a little of his future too

"not as much as you, rin"

he didn't answer, to lost in the paradise of your face, he was now focused on your lips, how would they taste?

to answer his own question, he leaned into your face, into your lips that he knew that were begging to be touched by his own

your eyes were wide, taken by surprise by his action, even if you saw it coming, it was something you were dreaming for years now

he looked at your eyes again for a kind of permission, and when he saw you nod, his hand was in the back of your neck in a matter of seconds while yours found home on his hair, tugging it slightly

"a kiss and you're all whiny and needy"

"shut up and fucking kiss me-"

he took the chance of sliding his tongue inside your mouth, exploring every single place he could, his free hand now on your lower back to move you back and fort his lap, he took the flavor of the artificial coconut lip balm you were wearing, he took all he could, in fact

"not only you look good but you taste good too" you hear him groan before going into it again, soft pants coming out of your mouth, whimpering his name as a mantra r-rin, r-innie, arching your back to be closer to him, you could feel his smirk on your now puffy lips with every movement of your hips, the hand on your lower back now going down to grip your thigh

pulling out to catch a little air, you rested your head on his large neck, you two were in comfortable silence, your head rested against his chest and his hands caressing your cheek

maybe ten minutes passed while you were cuddling until your phone screen turned up after a notification- you didn't care about it but the time, past two in the morning "rin, would you take me home? is getting late" he gave your cheek a sweet kiss before standing out the car, extending his hands to help you do the same "of course I can, pretty girl"

the drive back home was quiet, you could hear Apocalypse in the car radio, looking by the window to the beautiful night lights in the city, suna's hand on your thigh, playing with it from time to time, using the other one to drive

"We are here"

"Thanks for bringing me home, rin, I had fun"

he stepped out of the car with you- not letting you out that easily, his hands with a firm grip of your waist and silence was around the two of you, just appreciating the presence of each other, your hands going inside his jackets to hold his waist too

"good night, I love you" he told you and sealed his words with one last kiss

taglist [open]: @arrogantsonofabiscuit @sakusasbitch @souco @minamihrs @sunasexual @boba-duckie @discountkiyoko @shoyotime @sunalma @kuroohoeee @cubbluv @astrqmi @triniteaaa @zukoslosthishonor @iheartkuroorin @kac-chowsballs @akaashiwife @lilith412426 @loveprisms @eunoiwa @gladly-olus @its-the-aerieljeane @smackmyasslikeavolleyball @bakugouswh0r3 @mydandydays @erens-piss-cleaner @call-me-lulu

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

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VALERIE - Part IV. (Harry Styles)

hello loves!! thank you so much for the feedbacks on the previous part, i love to see your thoughts at reactions so please keep them coming for the upcoming parts as well! i was informed that the posts weren’t showing up under the hashtags bc i had an extrernal link to the spotify playlist, so that won’t be available in the next parts, but you’ll always be able to find it in the masterpost if you’d like to give it a listen! those were the songs i listened to while writing the story! now, i dont want to keep you up any longer, here is part 4, one of my personal favs, and im excitedly waiting for your feedbacks on the post! have a wonderful reading!

word count: 4.5k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Valerie is curiously watching her dad work on the portable bed they’ve brought over for the night, her little hands clutching onto Rosa’s shirt as she is telling you all about the list she has made for you. It’s not a long one, but you try to focus on every word she says, making sure you won’t mess anything up.

“I put an X behind the important ones,” she explains pointing at the paper and you nod, eyes roaming down on the few X’s on the list. “The other ones are just suggestions, things I thought you should know.

“Got it,” you nod again, biting into your bottom lip. Bath time, feeding, sleep time, everything is covered in the list and you’re happy she even mentioned the smallest details. Some things might be natural for her as she’s been doing it for months, but it’s your first time completely alone with a baby. You surely don’t want to mess this up, especially because you want her to trust you and let you look after Valerie more often. They deserve a break now and then.

Steven finishes the bed and backs out a few stuffed animals along with two blankets into it, making it look cozy and familiar for Val.

“But most importantly,” Rosa starts and you look her in the eyes. “Call us anytime if you need help or want us to take her home, and I mean it.”

“Not gonna happen,” you shake your head, earning a sigh from your sister.

“Y/N, I’m serious. We are thankful for the help, but it’s not your duty, alright? Just call us anytime, really.”

Nodding your head you flash a smile at her, knowing well nothing on Earth is gonna make you call them tonight. Okay, maybe there are some cases when you would call, but those are quite unlikely to happen.

She hands Valerie over who curiously eyes you before grabbing a handful of your shirt and making herself busy with the fabric.

“It’s gonna be fine. Have a great night, you deserve it,” you smile at them. Steven straightens up and curls an arm around Rosa’s waist as they watch Val in awe, clearly a little worried they are gonna spend an entire night without her, but you can tell they also can’t wait for some alone time.

“Alright, we should get going,” Rosa sighs and stepping closer she kisses Valerie’s head and then your cheek as well. “Have fun with your aunty! We’ll be back for you in the morning, Sweetie.”

She runs her hand over her little head and Valerie smiles at her happily, completely oblivious to what’s really happening. The joys of being just a baby!

Steven says goodbye to her as well and you all head to the door.

“So, we’ll be here around eight, she is usually up by six. Do you want us to pick her up sooner?” Rosa asks standing at the front door.

“Sooner? I was about to tell you to sleep a little longer, you don’t have to come so early.”

“But we don’t want to take away your whole day, you need to rest too,” Steven explains, worry all over his face.

“Stop worrying about me, I’ll be fine. Just enjoy your night off! Come on, I’m throwing you guys out, time for the sleepover to start,” you tell them, shushing them out the door.

It takes some time to finally get them to leave, but they eventually do. Then it’s just the two of you, alone for the first time.

“Ready for your first sleepover, Val?” you ask her, standing in the hallway of your apartment. She just stares back at you, saliva drooling from her mouth but even that looks cute on her. “Alright, let’s do this.”

You braced yourself for the worst. Thought about all the possibilities how the evening would go, but you hoped they wouldn't become reality. Unfortunately, baby Valerie had different plans for the two of you.

The first hour goes by fine. You feed her, have a little play time, reading her favorite book to her, but slowly, you notice her losing interest in anything and everything. Soon enough, you see her face distort into a grimace and a few moments later she starts crying and it’s straight downhill from there.

Nothing can get her to stop. No food, no toy, absolutely nothing. You clown around, trying everything that pops into your mind that would calm her down, but it doesn’t seem like she is about to stop anytime soon.

You start to panic. Rosa told you how fussy she is because of her teeth coming, but you didn’t think it would be this bad. When she’s been crying for an entire hour straight, for a split second, you think about calling Rosa.

“No, not gonna do that,” you say, while Val is still screaming in your arms. “Valerie, what do you want? Tell me and I’ll give it to you, I promise! Just please stop crying!” you whine desperately, but, no surprise, no answer comes from the screaming babe in your arms, just more tears, puffy eyes and red cheeks from all the crying she’s been doing.

Trying to rock her into calmness you are moving around in the apartment when you hear your phone ringing. You instantly think it’s gonna be Rosa, wanting to check in on you, but how are you gonna answer the call when Valeries is screaming from the top of her lungs? She’ll come to pick her up straight away, no doubt about that.

Rushing into the kitchen you are relieved to see that it’s just Harry calling you.

“It’s not the best of times, Styles,” you sigh as you answer the call and put him on the speaker, leaving the phone on the countertop, so you have both your hands free for Valerie.

“Hey, I was just-- what the fuck is happening?” he asks hearing the deadly cries of Val through the line. “Is that Valerie?”

“It is! I’m looking after her so Rosa and Steven can celebrate their anniversary, but she just wouldn’t stop crying! I don’t know what to do!”

You’re absolutely desperate. It’s so bad you can feel your throat closing up, nearing the edge of your patience, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks, but you tell yourself only one of you can cry at a time and Val has taken that spot quite some time ago, not even giving you a moment to let loose.

“Text me your address, I’m leaving now,” he orders and you snap your head towards the phone.

“What? No, Harry--”

“Just text me the damn address, Y/N!” he barks and the line cuts off right away.

Your desperation pairs with shock now, not knowing what to think about this short, but quite eventful conversation you just had with him. It takes you a few moments to collect your thoughts, but you end up sending him your address.

Nothing changes in the twenty minutes while you are waiting to hear anything from Harry following your text to him. Valerie keeps crying with three seconds of pauses when she takes a few deep breaths only to start screaming once again. Aside from the headache she is causing you, it’s becoming pretty impressive how long she’s been doing it. You probably would have fainted by now, but it seems like Valerie is running on an endless battery.

“You are really making it hard for me to be a cool aunt, Val,” you mumble, the baby still in your arms as the tears keep rolling down her face. Your light grey shirt is now soaking wet, both from her tears and your sweat from the anxiety she is giving you, mixed with some other things you choose to ignore where they came from.

The doorbell makes you jump, but Valerie doesn’t even bat an eye at the sound, she just keeps going.

“You need to teach me how to have this much energy,” you mumble under your breath as you walk over to the door.

Opening it you find yourself staring up at Harry who is wearing a brown coat, dark jeans and a black hoodie. If you had to guess what he was doing on this weekend evening you would have said he was out with friends somewhere, picking up girls, but he surely doesn’t look like he was anywhere else than his home, the clothes are hanging messily on his frame, like he just threw them on in a rush.

His green eyes look straight at you at first before moving over to the crying child in your arms. You fully expect him to say something along the lines of “this is the kind of effect you have on others” comment, but it seems like he notices the fear and despair in your eyes and he keeps his mouth shut.

“I honestly have no idea what to do,” you choke out and the tears start flowing from your eyes as well, making Harry have to deal with now two crying human beings.

“Oh my, please don’t cry, I can’t take two crying women at once,” Harry begs as he steps inside and shuts the door behind him. Turning to face you he reaches for Valerie, you hand her over to him, hoping she would magically stop the crying, but she clearly couldn’t care less.

“Why, can you take one?” you ask with a bitter chuckle as you wipe your cheeks.

“Not really,” he admits, making you smile. “So what have you tried?” he asks as he starts swaying and rocking Valerie in hopes of getting her to stop, but not even Harry’s charm stands a chance with her right now. Deep down you’re happy you weren’t the reason she got so fussy and upset, would have been pretty awkward if she stopped the moment Harry took her into his arms.

“Literally everything,” you huff, shoulders falling forward. “I went over the list Rosa gave me, tried everything, but she wouldn’t stop. She’s teething, but this is… It seems like there might be something else maybe?” you tell him worried that something serious might be behind her behavior. You really don’t want to call and bother Rosa, but you are nearing the point where you’ll give up and ask for help.

“Maybe she needs to be changed?” Harry suggests holding her up, giving her butt a sniff, but you roll your eyes at him.

“You don’t think that was one of the first things I did? She is as clean as she could be. Maybe I should just call Rosa,” you sigh in defeat reaching for your phone but Harry snaps at you.

“No! Don’t, we can figure this out. Steven has been so excited to have a night off, we can’t ruin this for them. Come on, we have to have the slightest parenting skills and solve this without them.”

Nodding you agree with him, but you’ve completely run out of ideas.

“So what do you suggest?”

You can see the gears turning in Harry’s head as he is trying to come up with a plan, but it’s not like either of you have any experience with babies. The idea of calling Rosa is starting to burn in the back of your head, fear of failing this challenge taking over your thoughts.

Then Harry looks at you with a look that screams that he has an idea. You’re just about to ask what came into his mind when all of a sudden he starts to sing.

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water, and I think of all the things what you’re doing and in my head I paint a picture…”

You instantly recognize Amy Whinehouse’s iconic song, the one that’s also behind Valerie’s name, you know that for sure. Rosa was obsessed with the song growing up, she would sing it on the way to school, in the shower or while making dinner. You weren’t surprised she chose this name for her first daughter.

What surprises you that Harry sings like a literal angel. He hits the notes perfectly, nailing the lines like not many can and you listen to him with parted lips, eyebrows raised. This was the last thing you expected from him, but then again, it’s not the first time Harry has surprised you through the years of knowing him.

Valerie stops for a moment, her hiccups shaking through her body as her tear-filled eyes look up to Harry, and you both think this is gonna be the moment when she finally calms down, but he doesn’t even reach the chorus before she starts crying again, a defeated sigh erupting from him.

“Maybe she wants it instrumental,” you suggest and Harry gives you one of those ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ looks as you leave to run down the hallway, right into your bedroom.

“How am I supposed to make it instru-- what the hell, Y/N?!” He gives you a weirded out look when you return with a guitar in your hands. “Since when do you play the guitar?”

“Since like… eighth grade,” you tell him as you sit on the couch and holding the guitar on your lap you try to find the right accords. “I told you, you know nothing about me.”

Harry nods with a surprised but amazed look on his face as your fingers strum against the chords. It takes a few minutes but you figure it out and glancing up you give a questioning look to Harry.

“From the start?” you ask and he nods his head, continuously bouncing up and down to try to calm Val down.

You start playing the song and soon enough Harry joins you with the singing, the two of you perfectly nailing it even without any practice.

“Stop makin’ a fool out of me, why don’t you come on over, Valerie?”

Maybe it’s the guitar, maybe it’s the singing or maybe the fact that the song has her name in it, but by the time you reach the halfway point in the song Valerie’s crying slowly starts to fade. You instantly share a look with Harry, but don’t stop, fearing that she might start again if the music stops.

Her tear soaked cheeks smooth out as she is not screaming anymore and you can actually see her irises finally, her long lashes are sticking together from the salty tears and you know it’s gonna take some time for her to regain her normal state, but at least the crying has stopped.

“‘Cause since I’ve come on home, well, my body’s been a mess. And I’ve missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress…”

You tear your eyes off Valerie for a second, letting yourself wander over Harry’s features as he sings. He slightly furrows his eyebrows focusing on the lines, so his forehead has a few creases on it. His lips form the words so clearly and elegantly, you wonder how often he sings. Is it something he only does when he is on his own or he likes to perform as well?

The only time when you heard him sing was at the bar when the two of you slayed the karaoke machine with that Avril Lavigne song. You were smashed by then, you remember that he had a nice voice but it was the last thing you paid attention to. Besides, he was kind of equally drunk as you, it was all for just fun, but now is a completely different situation.

It’s no surprise Valerie finds his voice soothing, you’d probably stop whatever you were doing if you heard him sing. There are people with a good voice and then there are the ones that not just have a good voice but also that small something, that extra magic in them that makes you melt as their voice caress your ears. Harry is definitely the second case, for a moment you forget where you are or why he is there singing. It’s just his voice and the gentle strumming of your fingers on the chords.

At the end of the song he starts repeating Valerie as the song slowly fades into nothing and you both stare at the little girl in his arms, clearly afraid she might start crying again. Unfortunately, your reservations become valid when you see the corners of her mouth curls down and you and Harry share a shocked look immediately.

“What else can you play?” he urges as Val whimpers in his arms, letting you know she does not appreciate that the singing has stopped.

“Shit, shit! Um, something from ABBA?” you propose and Harry nods quickly, not even asking which song you know, so you take it as a sign that he probably knows all of them.

The first song that comes to your mind is Andante, Andante and you don’t hesitate to start playing again, just in time. Valerie was just about to start crying again, but as soon as the melody hit her little ears she calmed down and listened to it with tired looking eyes.

“Take it easy with me, please. Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze…” Harry sings the words and you can’t hold a smile back as he, once again, hits the notes just perfectly without missing a beat.

You’re convinced there’s not one person on Earth who has never heard a single Abba song, most of the population knows them by heart, but somehow you couldn’t really imagine Harry to be a person who knows the lyrics to the songs as well. But he does and sings it without messing it up even just once. It’s hard to imagine a younger version of Harry singing ABBA songs when they come on the radio, but the more you think about it the more the picture paints itself in your mind.

Valerie lays her head to Harry’s chest, stuffing her thumb into her mouth as she listens to the performance. She is probably enjoying the vibrance of his voice shaking through his chest and maybe this is what brings her the peace she’s been looking for all this time. Your heart skips a beat at the sight of them.

Harry glances at you, eyes so soft you melt under his gaze. However nerve wrecking it was to have Valerie scream for hours, she is still the cutest little thing ever as she rests her head on his chest, her long blinks giving it away she has definitely lost most of her energy.

You don’t dare to stop the singing and playing. When you near the end of a song you quickly think of something else and whisper it over to Harry, who then gives his feedback on it with either a nod or a shake of his head. Most of the time he knows the songs you suggest so the show continues without a stop.

Half an hour passes by when you see her eyes slowly closing. You still don’t stop though, only when Harry tries to listen to her breathing and he realizes that it was completely slowed down. She is out.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out quietly, your fingers feeling numb from the playing. You haven’t had a guitar in your hands for this long in a while, probably for years. Harry shares your relief, his throat has completely dried out and he is happy to finally breathe evenly, not just sneak a few breaths in between lines.

“And now what?” he mouths as he is still gently swaying around with the sleeping Valerie in his arms. You put the guitar aside and check if she is for real asleep. Her long lashes are spread out on her puffy cheeks, gently snoozing into Harry’s chest as if she weren’t screaming for dear life just an hour ago.

“Let’s put her down,” you whisper and nod at him to follow you.

Reaching your bedroom you only switch your bedside lamp on so the light doesn’t wake her up. Pushing the stuffed animals to the side you grab the blankets and let Harry do the critical job. Leaning down he oh so slowly starts to pull her away from his chest, careful not to move too suddenly, it all feels like in those action movies when they are trying to get through the lasers without triggering the alarm. One bad move and the screaming threatens to start again and that’s the last thing you want, after all you’ve done to calm her down.

You don’t even realize it but as you watch her little head reach the mattress you hold your breath, almost wincing upon seeing Harry’s hands slide out from under her sleeping frame. As if you wait for something to go wrong, both of you freeze for a moment, expecting her to start moving around and wake up, but she stays still.

Eyes snapping up to Harry, you exchange a look and then you both head to the door, careful not to make any noise that can possibly shake Valerie up from her dreams.

“This was more tiring than running a marathon,” he huffs, throwing himself to the couch and you do the same next to him.

“Have you ever run a marathon?”

“No,” he confidently answers and you look over at him with a puzzled look. “But I can imagine how tiring it is.”

You let out a chuckle, letting your eyes close for just a little bit. You haven’t even had the chance to realize how much this whole struggle with Val sucked the energy out of you, but now that you’re half lying on the couch it hits you all at once.

“I should get going,” you hear Harry mumble, clearly just as tired as you are, but he doesn’t move.

“Mhm,” you hum, feeling yourself drift to sleep.

Neither of you moves and it doesn’t take a whole five minutes for the both of you to completely doze off.

The next time you wake up you feel an arm curled around your waist and someone is definitely pressed up against you while your back is against the back of the couch. It takes you a couple of moments and some blinking to realize it’s Harry you are all snuggled up to and the reason why you woke up is because Valerie is crying again.

“Shit,” you mumble to yourself, mind still groggy from the sleep as you push yourself up on the couch. Just moments later Harry’s eyes flush open and you’re not sure it’s because of the crying or because you moved next to him. His arm slides off you as he looks around a little confused about his surroundings.

You don’t have the chance to think about how the two of you ended up cuddling on the couch, though it lingers in the back of your mind. Basically crawling over Harry you rush into your bedroom where Valerie is lying in her bed crying. It’s a different kind of cry, not like the one you were stuck with for hours before and you know she must be hungry.

“Ah, come on, little girl. It’s alright,” you coo at her scooping her into your arms. She immediately cuddles to your chest hiccupping against it, her little hands fisting your shirt. You leave to go to the kitchen and feed her, but just as you’re about to step out of the room you bump into Harry.

You bounce back from his chest, but his hand immediately reaches for you and grabs your arm, holding you in case you might fall back.

“Sorry,” you breathe out, thoughts still foggy a little. “She’s… hungry,” you explain, but he is standing so close to you, you can feel his body’s warmth and it instantly ignites the memory of being pressed against his side on the couch just moments ago and you can’t stop yourself from inhaling a shaky breath.

“Let me help,” he croaks out and the two of you walk into the kitchen. Putting on her bib you hand her over to Harry who sits with her on his lap on a stoop as you get the baby food, warm it a little before joining the two of them and you slowly start feeding her.

“What time is it?” you ask realizing you have no idea how long you two have been asleep on the couch.

“It’s three am,” Harry answers before smiling down at Val. “Good job, Val!�� he hums watching her take the spoon into her mouth.

You finish up feeding her, then give a try at burping her even though Rosa said it’s not necessary anymore. She just hums to herself so you head back to the bedroom, her eyes already threatening to close. By the time you put her back to the bed she is out again, so no private show is needed this time.

Walking out of the room you see Harry putting on his shoes and coat. For a split second you feel disappointed that he is leaving, but then your rational side puts you to your place. Of course he is leaving! Val is fine now, there’s no other reason for him to stay, right?

“Harry,” you softly say and he looks at you. “Can you please not tell Rosa and Steven that I needed help with Val?” you quietly ask, though there’s no doubt your eyes are practically begging him.

“No way I’ll ever admit to Steven that I sang ABBA to his child, so don’t worry about it,” he chuckles making you smile as well.

“Thank you. And for helping me as well. I was really close to giving it up,” you admit folding your arms on your chest as Harry stands at the front door, hand on the door knob as he is looking back at you.

“No problem. Now you owe me one,” he smirks and you can’t hold yourself back from rolling your eyes.

“Sure,” you say with an airy chuckle. “Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N,” he smiles at you sweetly before opening the door and walking out.

You take his place at the door and watch him walk down the eerily quiet hallway. He turns back to you one last time waving in your way and you nod back smiling before he disappears around the corner.

Closing the door you lean your back against it, taking a deep breath. Your eyes wander over to the couch where you and Harry were sleeping not so long ago. The feeling of his arm around you is still burned into your mind and you breathe in shakily as a memory snaps into your head of the exact same thing, only years earlier.

You lied almost exactly like that in his hotel room that night. His strong arms wrapped around you as you had your head laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was slightly faster than the normal. Though you were still quite drunk, this feeling imprinted into your memories, because you felt so safe with him. Like nothing could ever hurt you if he was there with you.

Unfortunately, that feeling faded into nothing when you woke up in the morning quite fast. But this time, instead of disappointment and disgust, the only thing you still feel is the emptiness at the lack of his touch.

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reversecreek · 4 years ago

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clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!!

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how.

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

#irvingintro #abuse tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #anxiety tw #violence tw #DOES A LITTLE JIG #admittedly i didnt include a formative moments section like my other intros bc idk what kind of superpowers i was inhaling the fumes of #for those intros but #i'm a mere mortal now.

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 5 years ago

Text

Love Lockdown

A/N- Just a little one shot about being stuck in lockdown and having to video chat with Bucky.

Im not sure what this is to be fair, the boredom has set in!💕

Being ordered to stay home amid the virus outbreak meant having to work from home for the foreseeable future. Id only been working with the newly formed Avengers team for a few months, id been hired to run psych evaluations on the team.... make sure they were all stable enough to be working with the public. Of course the one person the higher up's were concerned about was Bucky Barnes.

He had been a tough one to crack, we spent many sessions in silence before he started to finally open up. Because of that reason it had been agreed that we would still hold our sessions via facetime, i didnt want him closing himself off again.

"Hey doc, hows quarantine treating you?" Bucky asked on the first video chat.

"Its not been to bad so far, its given me some time to get some things around the house sorted. But its only been a week" i chuckled "hows it going over there?"

"Its a nightmare, Sam is driving me crazy. I dont know how much more i can deal with" Bucky rolled his looking bored.

"Try not to kill each other okay"

"Im not making any promises".

Two weeks into lockdown and i felt like i was loosing my mind stuck indoors alone. Bucky was checking in every couple of days for his sessions and i started looking forward to that. We spent most of the time chatting like old friends, there wasn't anything else to really talk about right now.

"So Sam's still alive?" I asked smiling while topping up my wine glass.

"For now, i'm actively keeping my distance. I dont even know why i have to do this damn lockdown i cant get sick anyway"

"Joys of being a super soldier huh?"

"Yeah, gotta have some perks"

"Your lucky you have the company, im going crazy stuck here on my own. Im gonna need a psych evaluation myself by the time this is over"

"You getting lonely doc?" Bucky smirked through the camera.

"Yes! But i'm getting through it with wine" i smiled raising my glass to him before taking a mouthful.

"You'll be an alcoholic by the time this is over"

"Im being sensible Buck i promise"

"You can call me anytime you get bored or lonely, its not like i have Avenging stuff to do right now"

"I might take you up on that" i smiled resting my chin in my hand "so your definitely doing okay?

"Im fine doc, i actually feel pretty good. I haven't been having nightmare and I've been training, for the first time in ages i feel like me"

"Thats great Bucky, really. Im so pleased your doing good, soon you wont need these meetings"

"But what if i want them...... talking to you helps"

"Well i'll always be there for you"

""Thanks doc....."

"Yo Buck! We're late for the conference call with Ross..... get your ass moving!" I heard Sam Wilson calling in the background, Bucky closed his eyes shaking his head.

"Well id better go"

"Yeah sure, im gonna go shower and watch a movie or something.... thats what my life has become"

"Okay well have fun, i'll speak to you soon"

"Bye Buck" i clicked end call and pushed my chair back from the desk.

I grabbed my wine and phone and opened up Spotify, i selected my 'getupandgo' playlist, a mix of songs that just made you wanna dance! I went upstairs and quickly showered, singing loudly and probably very offkey!

It wasnt long before i was dried off and dressed in panties and a tank top, my hair still wrapped in the towel. I noticed my wine glass was empty so headed downstairs for a refil. As i went down Camila Cabello's 'Liar' started to play and i was instantly dancing around and singing.

Bucky's POV

I walked back into my room after another pointless conference call with Ross and instantly heard some music playing.

"I don't care, if you're here

Or if you're not alone

I don't care, it's been too long

It's kinda like we didn't happen

The way that your lips move

The way you whisper slow

I don't care, it's good as gone (uh)

I said I won't lose control, I don't want it (ooh)

I said I won't get too close, but I can't stop it"

I didnt leave music on.... where the hell was it coming from....

"Oh no, there you go, making me a liar

Got me begging you for more

Oh no, there I go, startin' up a fire

Oh no, no (oh no)

Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar

I kinda like it though

Oh no, there I go, startin' up a fire

Oh no, no (ooh)"

Shit! I gasped when i followed the music to my desk and there on the screen i could see the Doc dancing and singing in her living room! She was in a pair of panties and a tank top, her hair wrapped in a towel still while she swayed her hips and drank from her wine glass..... i shouldn't be watching this! But damn she looked cute! I couldnt help but smile.

"You're watching, I feel it

I know I shouldn't stare

I picture your hands on me

But what if, you kiss me?

And what if, I like it?

And no one sees it

I said I won't lose control, I don't want it

I said I won't get too close, but I can't stop it"

Seeing this side to the Doc made me like her more than i already did! But i shouldn't be watching this, it felt to wrong. I should call her.....

Readers POV

"Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar, Got me begging you for more

Oh no, there I go, startin' up a fire

Oh no, no

Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar, I kinda like it though

Oh no, there I go, startin' up a fire....Oh no, no" i was singing loudly while dancing around my living room.

My phone started ringing causing the song to stop. When i looked at the caller ID and saw it was Bucky i instantly smiled.

"Hey Bucky, you okay?" I asked smiling like an idiot.

"Hey Doc" he said sounding a little amused, i was confused by the sudden echo in the room.

"Why can i hear you twice...."

"Look up"

What?? What was he on about.... oh!

My eyes fell to the screen where i could see a grinning Bucky.

"Oh no.... how much of that did you see?"

"Enough.... you look like your having fun" he chuckled.

"Shit! I dont even have pants on! This is so unprofessional of me im sorry...."

"Calm down doll, im not complaining. I was actually enjoying the show"

"Haha Buck, very funny" i shook my head at him.

"Im serious, im just thinking about how much i wanna come join your party now"

"Yeah? Well your more than welcome" i laughed knowing he wouldn't come round.

"Dont tempt me....."

"As if you'd come here" i rolled my eyes "well im gonna go get some more wine and maybe put on some pants! I'll make sure to hang up this time" i laughed and said goodbye once again making sure it disconnected. If i hadn't been drinking i'm sure id be more embarrassed about this whole thing but I just shrugged it off and headed to the kitchen for a refill.

20 minutes later and i was in the middle of making some chilli nachos when there was a knock at my door. For a second i panicked thinking it was Bucky but then remembered he didn't know where i lived. It was probably Mrs Harper from down the hall asking to borrow a cup of flour for some extravagant cake she was making!

But as i swung the door open there stood Bucky Barnes still wearing the hoodie and cap from the video call we had.... oh my god he looked good dressed so casual, he looked so relaxed it made me smile.

"Bucky.... what are you doing here?"

"You invited me" he shrugged smirking at me.

"How'd you even know where i live huh?"

"I may have hacked into your employee file"

"Stalker much" i teased making him laugh "come on in" I opened the door wider to let him in and took the chance to take a calming breath.

"Never did put on those pants i see" he smirked looking me up and down, it was then i realised i was still in my panties!!

"God damn it!" I said loudly feeling my heart start to race "let me just..." i pointed down the hall towards my room.

"Dont put them on on my account Doc, i dont mind at all" Bucky said walking over and standing closer to me "Look im just gonna say it how it is and hope it doesn't ruin our relationship..... i like you Doc, alot. Like im crazy about you, cant stop thinking about you....."

"What?.... Bucky thats not funny...."

"Dead serious. I mean its hard to think very clearly with you standing there looking like that but..... what are the chances you feel the same?"

"I think the chances are in your favour...." i smiled feeling my cheeks burn. Bucky suddenly closed the distance and kissed me, pulling my body tight against his..... his flesh hand slipping down to my ass.

"Mmmm i'm glad you forgot those pants" he smiled before picking me up and leading the way to the bedroom.

@barnesandrogersworld

@dumblani

@xxloki81xx

@jesseswartzwelder

#reader insert #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #sebastian stan #bucky x you #bucky x reader #lockdown #quarantine #lovelockdown

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lgbtyrus · 5 years ago

Text

Two Exes on Mars

A Tyrus fic where they’re aged up + broken up :) It will have a ‘happily ever after’, I promise. Note: IDK if you know your Andi Mack lore, but just in case, Shadyside is in a fictional US state called Midwest.

Part 1/? (I’m thinking 3 or 4)

Words: 2,668

He kissed him goodbye. It wasn’t even rainy or cloudy outside, much less foggy. It was super bright and sunny, and Cyrus could hear every single bird in Shadyside chirping as his now ex-boyfriend walked out the front door of his house. He waited until TJ was out of his driveway to shut the door and break out in tears, pressing his forehead and fist against his door.

Why? he wondered. Why? Why? Why?

But he knew why. He knew why TJ had let him go in the worst breakup in the world. He had tried to a week ago which led to Cyrus breaking down in front of him and ended up with them back together. But the tension between them was so obviously, and it lead to TJ’s horrible mood swings and random outbursts he never apologized for. It made Cyrus feel like crap. Then in the middle of the week, TJ tried breaking up with him over text. Cyrus ignored it, and TJ went over to his house the next day like nothing had happened. Not even three days later, TJ came over to break up him a third time. For good.

That just happened two minutes ago, and Cyrus silently let him leave this time. He shouldn’t have ever let him see him cry.

“You have to go to California, Cyrus,” TJ had told him, his eyes red and his hands clenching into tight fists. All Cyrus could do was stare at the floor. It’s not everyday you get a chance to go to USC, but it also meant leaving everyone you loved behind- including TJ. Him and TJ had been together since the 8th grade, and he had included TJ in all of his future plans. For him, being in a long distance relationship was a possibility, and he never thought TJ would be against it.

“I want to go to MSU,” Cyrus shook his head, refusing to look at him. TJ was going to MSU on a basketball scholarship, and yeah, they had a theatre and screenwriting, but it wasn’t USC. It was one of the hardest choices Cyrus had to make.

“You’re clearly lying, Cyrus,” TJ let out a frustrated sigh, “I know when you’re lying.” It’s true, he did. His hands always instinctively went inside a pocket, and Cyrus has never been able to stop it. “Cyrus. I know I’m the main reason why you want to stay in Midwest, but I want you to go to USC. It’s what you want.”

“Does that mean we have to break up, though?” Cyrus asked him sadly, his voice quiet. TJ ran his fingers through his blonde hair and let out a deep breath.

“We’d be doing long distance for four years, Cyrus. I don’t want to hold you back from being at your prime if you’re moping around missing me the entire time.”

“Are you just saying this because you’re the one that’s not going to be fine?” There wasn’t even a pause.

“Yes, Cyrus!” TJ said loudly, startling Cyrus. “I can’t spend four years of my life being sad because I miss you all the time, but I also can’t live with the guilt I’m going to feel if you don’t go to USC. This entire situation is driving me insane, and I really think breaking up is the best way to go.”

“You honestly think that?” Cyrus frowned, looking right up at him. He didn’t want to break down like he did the first time. “You’re just giving up? Not even giving long distance a try. After five years, TJ?”

TJ shamefully looked away before saying, “I love you, Cyrus. But I think it’d hurt less to let you go.”

“How?” Cyrus’ voice started to tremble as he spoke in complete disbelief, “How can you even say you love me right now?” TJ didn’t say anything. He just slowly walking up to Cyrus, each step taking its own time before cupping his face in his hands and kissing him softly.

TJ pulled away, whispering, “Bye, Cyrus.”

Cyrus was now sitting on his bedroom floor, playing music louder than his occasional sob. Andi and Buffy were on their way, but until then, it was him, and a lone polaroid picture he had of him and TJ on their first Valentine’s Day together right in front of him. Him and TJ were sitting on one side of the booth at The Spoon while Marty and Buffy sat on the other side. TJ had his arms around him and was smiling in to his cheek, leaving a very fluttered Cyrus to be captured forever.

“Cyrus!” someone yelled out from downstairs. “We’re here.”

“Upstairs!” Cyrus yelled out, his voice slightly cracking. He hadn’t spoken since TJ left, and his throat hurt. He was glad he left the door unlocked for them because he didn’t have the energy to move.

Andi peaked her head through his bedroom door, frowning when she saw him, “Hi, Cyrus.”

“Hey,” Cyrus waved, “come in.” He hadn’t seen Andi in about three weeks was she was getting busy with her senior art project for SAVA. He loved her for being here during a busy time. Buffy trailed in behind Andi with two loaded grocery bags.

“We brought ice cream and pie,” Buffy held the bags up. “We stopped by your kitchen to get utensils.”

“Thank you because I was not going to move,” Cyrus said. Andi and Buffy sat down on each side of him and rested their heads on his shoulder.

“You can cry if you want,” Andi told him.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “we bought three tissue boxes.”

“I’ve been crying for like an hour, and I’m just tired of it at this point. But this is also probably just the start,” Cyrus mumbled. “How am I supposed to accept that someone I talked to everyday for five years is leaving my life?”

“I know it hurts, Cyrus,” Buffy whispered. “But you’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. Trust me. I’m always right.”

“I know you are,” Cyrus smiled slightly. “You know what sucks the most though?”

“What?” they asked in unison.

“We already have matching tuxedos from prom.” -

Cyrus and TJ showed up with new tuxedos to prom. Andi herself made Cyrus a brand new one. The according to different sources, both Cyrus and TJ had both begged Gus to cancel their Prom Court nomination. Gus thought it was funny until Buffy stepped in, and he got scared.

Cyrus and TJ didn’t sit together at lunch anymore or do homework together or visit the swing sets every Tuesday after TJ got out of tutoring. Cyrus submitted his paperwork to attend USC in the fall and according to Amber who was at Shadyside’s community college, TJ was going to go to MSU to play for their basketball team. Buffy and Marty would be seeing him at MSU seeing they got track scholarships.

Cyrus cried every night for the rest of the school year after finishing his homework because he worked to hard to have his GPA suffer over a boy who clearly didn’t care if he fell apart. He sometimes sat in the bathtub and let music fill his whole bathroom and no matter what, every single song would remind him of TJ. Of course, that was his fault for playing the playlists TJ had made him on Spotify. He wondered if he could see that he was listening to them. He hoped he did.

Cyrus didn’t have any communication with TJ since the last texts he sent him. It was a 2AM on a Saturday night, about three weeks since the breakup. He felt horrible and didn’t know how to stop crying. Even though Buffy had told him to call him whenever, he couldn’t keep dumping everything on her.

Cyrus: hey tj I hope im not waking u up idk if you still have your phone set so that u only get text alerts from me but I just wanted to say that I miss you.

Cyrus: I miss you so much tj idk what to do without you. Everything hurts all the time and I just want to talk to you and hear you voice even if we cant date anymore please talk to me. Please be my friend again tj we were best friends for 5 years we work so good together

Cyrus: I love you. I think that ill always be in love with you.

TJ: Goodnight Underdog.

Cyrus didn’t remember what time he went to sleep, but he felt like he cried for hours after that. The pain in his chest beat him up completely until he was too weak to flip his pillow to the dry side.

At their graduation, Cyrus gave a speech and then walked off stage to everyone in the auditorium clapping. It felt surreal. When he looked up smiling, out of all of the people he saw in the sea of graduates, he saw TJ clapping. He had his lip curled up in one corner which showed that he was on the verge of tears. That was the only time that night Cyrus wanted to cry.

A month into USC and without a doubt, Cyrus was homesick and probably depressed. He had made a great group of friends that were similar to him and super positive. He appreciated them, but 8 out of 10 times, they could never convince him to leave his room. He just stayed in and did homework and work on his script. It was about a man who gets his heart shattered and decided to move to Mars as part of a science experiment and when he’s already in space, he realize that his ex is one of the 100 people on board. Things quickly escalate. His friends loved the scripts and always asked to read updates, but he still sent snippets to Bex because he missed her.

It had been months since the breakup with TJ that happened late April. He should be over it now, he thought a lot of the time. But it still hurt. TJ really shot a hole in his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t cry everyday like he used to. But every other few weeks, he snuck into the bathroom to cry so his roommate wouldn’t see. It was embarrassing to admit.

Cyrus kept things in a rotation. Script, class, eat, homework, sometimes friends, and sleep. It was hard to stay happy and to enjoy himself. It was hard to feel like he was living through something when he’s been dead inside for months. With Halloween coming up, he felt even worse. He’s never not had anyone to match costumes with. For five years, him and TJ did a couple’s costume and before that, him, Buffy, and Andi always had something up their sleeves. He missed all of them.

Then one day, his roommate let one of his friends into their dorm room. His roommate was part of his friend group, so there was that. Cyrus was working on his infamous script and didn’t even get a text that he was coming. Usually, he said no, though. “Hey, Rich,” Cyrus said as he walked in.

“Hey, Cy,” he said. “I was in the building and wanted to drop by.”

“Why’d you text Karson and not me?” Cyrus asked.

“You always say no.”

“True. Anyways, what’s up?”

“We need one more person for our Halloween costume. It’s Full House. We need an Uncle Jesse. You in?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus grinned, “of course.”

“Damn,” his friend Bogie said. “That TJ foo fucked you up bad, huh?” All eight of them were sitting around a bonfire before Thanksgiving break. It had been a long night of confessions and telling each other things not a lot of other people knew. Somehow in the moment, Cyrus spent thirty minutes telling them the becoming and downfall of him and TJ. Rich had convinced him to go to therapy on campus early November, and Cyrus wished he had gone sooner. It was getting so much easier to be around his friends and have open conversations.

“Yeah,” Cyrus admitted. “I cried everyday for months. I still cry sometimes.”

“Is that why you spend forever in the bathroom?” Karson asked him. Cyrus nodded.

“Damn, Cy,” Roxana mumbled, “no wonder you were so distant at the beginning of the school year. I thought you were just stuck up, but I guess I was wrong. I’m glad you trust us now, though.”

“Me, too,” Cyrus said.

“So, this TJ,” Bogie asked, “what’s he up to?”

“Besides knowing that he plays basketball for Midwest State U, I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him since I last texted him after the breakup. I’m still good friends with his sister, but she never says anything.”

“Dang, so he’s a baller?” Bogie asked.

“Probably just getting fucked up at parties,” Mikhenna suggested. Cyrus didn’t respond. He just shrugged.

“Do you still love him?” Roxana asked him.

“I don’t think so,” Cyrus shook his head. “I’d be stupid to. But thanks for listening, guys. I feel a lot better. I feel like I belong and that I can finally move on.”

Cyrus didn’t see the point of flying all the way back home for a week long break, so he decided to stay behind in California and take a train to his aunt and uncle’s place. They had a daughter that thirteen and always had juicy middle school drama.

When he was laying down on the bed of the guest room, his phone started vibrating. Buffy was on Facetime, and he answered immediately saying, “Hey, Buff.”

“Hey, Cyrus,” Buffy grinned widely before switching the camera, “look who’s with me!”

Andi waved at the camera, “Hey, Cyrus!”

“Andi,” Cyrus grinned. “How are you? We haven’t talked in like four days.”

“I know right,” Andi laughed. “I’m fine. What about you?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” he said before registering completely that Andi was in Shadyside. “Wait,” he paused, “aren’t you supposed to be in Pennsylvania?”

“Yeah but a professor died, so they gave us two weeks off instead of three days and just postponed winter break.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea who he is,” Andi shrugged. “But where are you?”

“With my dad’s sister and her family. I’m just chilling and eating home made food before I go back,” Cyrus smiled. Andi moved over to sit next to Buffy and Cyrus noted that they were at the Mack’s place.

“So enough of that,” Buffy said and then looked at Andi who gave her a stern look. “Come on, let me tell him.”

“Well now you have to tell him,” Andi rolled his eyes.

“That’s very true,” Cyrus agreed.

“I know,” Buffy smirked. “That’s why I said that. Anyways,” she looked right at the camera, “we went to the mall with Amber in her car, but it broke down in the parking lot when we were leaving. She had to call TJ to come pick us up, which was already awkward enough because I always ignore him at school, but I was like whatever, it’s a twenty minute drive. Then in the car, literally, this man, I mean, boy, can ask any question. Any question in the world. Preferably, one directed at his sister, like you know, has your car been acting funky for a while? But he asks me and Andi, ‘How is Cyrus doing?’” Cyrus’ heart dropped. He hasn’t heard anything about TJ in so long he’s forgotten how to react.

“What did you say?” Cyrus asked nervously.

“I said that I charge $50 per fact,” Buffy said, “and he didn’t say anything else.”

“That’s weird,” Cyrus frowned. “I wonder why he doesn’t just ask Amber. I literally call her once a week, every Tuesday.”

“No idea,” Buffy said. “But maybe she just doesn’t answer him for the same reasons I didn’t.”

“Which are?”

“We love you.”

anyways follow my main @webarebares <3 thank you for reading! feel free to send asks if something was confusing or if a typo was horrible or just because. i luv u.

#shoosh star #stars writing #andi mack #tyrus #kind of lol #im just a sucker for angst and cant help writing it whenever i can

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horansqueen · 6 years ago

Text

BabyGirl 5.0

NOTES:

♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts ♥ 3.8k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ i am not totally happy with this chapter, but i hope you guys like it. Thank you so so much to those of you who still read this story. It means so so much that you gave this a chance and stuck to it as readers. thank you times a million! btw im sorry this is a bit late!! ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate.

♥ PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4

5.0 ♥ GUILT TRIP & FIREWORKS ♥

HIM

"Mommyyyyyy!"

The yell coming from the living room made my lips curl and I took my hand away slowly, looking up in her eyes. She chuckled and we left everything behind to walk to Chelsea who was searching through the dvds. I glanced back, not liking the fact that we didn't clean anything, but I tried to put my attention back on my daughter as she pulled on a movie, making a few others fall on the sides. She quickly turned to us, her messy hair flying around her face, and held out the dvd to her mom who took a step closer to grab it.

"It's movie time mommy!"

I noticed her face immediately change and I frowned as she looked back up and tilted her head, clearly torn and unsure of what to say.

"We normally watch a movie on Christmas morning." she just explained without sending me a glance. "You're welcome to watch it with us, if you want."

I slipped my hands in my pockets and nodded slowly, a bit unsure of what exactly was happening. All I knew was that this whole morning had changed me. I couldn't believe what being there with them made me feel, and at the same time, I couldn't really explain it. I wanted to stay, and I was happy when she proposed me to. I walked to the couch and took a seat right before Chelsea jumped next to me, making the whole couch shake. She leaned her head against the back of it, a large smile on her lips, as she looked at her mom put the dvd in.

I looked down at her and chuckled at her excitement before I noticed her shirt again. It was an old Ramones white shirt and it made my lips curl into a fond smile, this time. I didn't even look for it, I knew exactly where it was, and i didn't mind. It was not the only thing I forgot at her place and I didn't know if she kept the rest of my stuff but knowing this particular shirt survived through the years was endearing.

I remembered it was my go-to shirt during our lazy sundays, and even if i was always the one who'd put it on in the morning, she was always the one who ended wearing it during the afternoon. The first few times were coincidences, but after a while, I did it on purpose. I loved the way she looked in my clothes, but this shirt in particular meant lazy weekend sex and although it felt a bit weird to see it on a kid, it was also an incredible memory I cherished. And it suddenly hit me. That time we actually 'made' Chelsea was probably one of these mornings and seeing her wearing it now had an even deeper meaning.

"Have you ever listened to the Ramones?" I asked my daughter, grabbing the shirt between two fingers, near her shoulder, pinching it up slightly before letting it fall back.

She looked down at her shirt and then back up in my eyes, shaking her head slightly as she stared at me. For some reason, it made my heart twist and I sent her a smile.

"I didn't know what it meant." she admitted, tilting her head.

I chuckled low and licked my lips, bending down slightly.

"It's a good band." I explained.

She stared at me a bit longer and frowned.

"Are they on spotify?" she asked, making smile more. "Mommy and I, we have a playlist with our favorite songs."

"They are." I answered with a laugh.

The movie started and we both turned to the television. Chelsea let out a loud "Yes!" and I glanced at the dvd box on the coffee table. I felt my heart skip a beat when I read the title and licked my lips as a bunch of questions appeared in my mind. "Smallfoot" was clearly visible, even upside down, and when I finally looked up, my eyes met my ex girlfriend's. She sent me a shy smile before getting up and sitting on the other side of me. I didn't know why she didn't sit next to our daughter but I was too surprised by my daughter's movie choice to ask about it.

"It's Chelsea's favorite movie." she explained in a low tone. "Louis brought her to see it at the movies and when she came back, she begged for me to buy it."

I turned to her and noticed her lips curl immediately into a fond smile. I did the same and just nodded as I heard the movie play near us. Chelsea laughed and then talked with the characters, quoting them before laughing again.

"Did you tell her..."

"No." she cut me in a whisper. "I didn't tell her that her father wrote and sang a song in it. I just... I didn't know how."

I nodded slowly, not really surprised, but kept staring at her. She was close, almost too close, and I was suddenly aware of her arm and thigh pressed against mine. I cleared my throat and swallowed, trying to think about something else.

"For someone who doesn't like getting into other people’s business, it seems like Louis gets in ours a lot." I pointed out, making her laugh.

"Tell me about it." she agreed, raising her nose up in a grimace.

"Hush you two!"

We both jumped and turned to Chelsea who sent us an annoyed look, frowning at us. We waited until she turned back to the tv and looked back at each other, holding a laugh. I couldn't believe I was laughing with my ex girlfriend after so long and I enjoyed it more than I wanted to admit to myself.

"I'm gonna go wash the dishes, you can stay here with Chelsea." She murmured, getting up.

It only took me half a second to get up too and follow her to the kitchen. I glanced at Chelsea who was singing one of the songs in the movie and looked at the screen, smiling slightly. It was making me happy that my daughter enjoyed that movie, even if she didn't know her father had something to do with it.

I grabbed a towel and started drying the dished she finished washing. We remained silent, glancing at each other from time to time and trying to ignore it whenever our fingers would touch. It still felt electric, and I started thinking that if it was not from that big fat lie she managed to keep for five years, we could have a chance. This time, I wouldn't be so stubborn. This time, I would really give her all of me. The problem was that every time I thought about telling her how I felt, I remembered the fact that she robbed me from over four years with my own daughter, and that was something hard to forgive.

"So, that's what it would be like."

I turned to her, getting out of my own thoughts, and frowned. She sent me a sorry smile and tilted her head slightly as I put the towel on the counter, moving my body to face her without really realizing it. She did the same and leaned her hip against the counter, licking her lips. Her eyes met mine again and she sighed in a sad way, making my heart twist.

"That's what it would be like to be a family." she explained in a lower tone, as if she was ashamed. "You, me, and Chelsea."

I felt myself tear up at her words but swallowed my pain quickly, my eyes roaming quickly on her face. I hadn't thought about it but it was true, that's what our life would be like if we had gone through all of this together, as a family.

"Well right now we'd probably be with my family in Ireland, and we'd have a break at being parents because my mom would definitely take care of Chelsea and entertain her for as long as we'd be in her house." I added, smiling fondly at the thought. "And I'd lock the door of my old room and make love to you lazily on Christmas morning."

I watched her as her face changed and she held her breath, probably imagining it the same way I was. It was more of a memory from a few years back but somehow, I had the feeling it would be even better than it used to be. After a few seconds, she blinked a few times and took a step back as if she was trying to push away the thoughts, and me at the same time.

"Well, I guess we'll never know." she just said, turning her back to me and putting the clean dishes in the cabinets.

I watched her for about a minute but when she walked past me, I stopped her, putting myself in front of her and holding her arms gently. She didn't dare to look at me as I let my hands slide down until her hands before finally letting her go.

"I loved you, you know."

It was extremely hurtful to admit it out loud. I had spent years trying to convince myself I didn't have those type of feelings for her, and that losing her hadn't been the hardest shit I had to go through, but here I was now, admitting to her that what we had was more than a fling or some light infatuation. It was real, and she needed to know.

I was just not sure I was telling her for the good reason. Did I want her to know she broke me and that I would have done anything for her? Or did I just want to bring her into a guilt trip she may have deserved?

"I know I ruined it, Niall." she finally apologized in a whisper. "I know it's my fault. But I promise my intentions were good, at first. I didn't want you to give your dream up, and-and I thought you would resent Chelsea and I for holding you back. I-I thought you deserved to do what you like, and to become famous. I knew you were talented, I knew you were meant to succeed. I just... I didn't want us to be what would end it all."

No matter what my intentions were, I had managed to make her feel guilty, and for a reason I ignored, it made something stir in my stomach. Her words were genuine, and although the result was horrible, I knew she didn't mean wrong.

"It still hurt, you know." I pointed out, looking away. "When you wouldn't answer my phone calls and text messages I thought.. I thought it was the only way you found to let me know you didn't care about me, that you never really loved me."

I was bitter, I knew it, but I couldn't help thinking I had every right to be.

"I loved you." she quickly confessed, shutting her eyes tight. "I was... I was in love with you. And leaving you was torture. It was probably the most hurtful thing I had to do in my whole life."

There were so many things she didn't know, and I couldn't tell her. The words were stuck in my throat and I ended up trying to swallow them.

"I'm sorry we misunderstood each other so much that it ended up this way."

We remained silent for a few minutes and I finally sighed, closing my eyes for a while and finally opening them again.

"There's some sort of funfair, for Christmas." I explained, nibbling on my bottom lip. "There are games and shows and it ends with fireworks."

It seemed to take her an incredible amount of courage but she turned her head my way and her lips curled a bit.

"Yea, it's okay, you can bring Chelsea."

My heart was heavy when we looked at each other and I licked my lips, nodding.

"Thanks, but I thought we could all go. The three of us."

HER

I was sorry too, so fucking sorry that it all ended up like this. So fucking sorry that I cheated him of so many memories and time with his daughter. So fucking sorry that I made him think I didn't love or care about him. So fucking sorry that what I thought was the right choice turned out to be a fucking big mistake.

When he proposed we'd go all together, I felt guilty and almost refused, but the way he looked at me brought into me a sensation I hadn't felt in a really long time, one I didn't think i'd ever feel again.

I wanted to be close to him, I wanted to know if he could forgive me one day, and I was ready to do anything to get it.

For once, Chelsea and I were ready on time and when the doorbell ranf on the next afternoon, we both rushed to the door. I was glad my daughter hadn't asked any question about Niall, because I wouldn't have known what to answer. I didn't want to lie to her but at the same time, I wasn't ready to tell her who he really was, and I think he wasn't ready either. Besides, i felt like he deserved to be there when she would find out

The door swung open and Niall's eyes met mine before a surprised expression appeared on his face. He looked good, his hands in his pockets and a long scarf around his neck. He was wearing a beanie and I couldn't stop my heart from skipping a beat. He was dressed casually and It made me feel better for dressing up the same.

"Wow, you guys are ready?" he asked, an amused smile appearing on his lips. "If my memory serves me good, it's not in your DNA to be on time."

I raised my nose in a grimace but sent him a smile, knowing he was right and that I clearly couldn't defend myself. Chelsea rushed to Niall and wrapped her arms around his leg. The look on his face was priceless as he looked down at her, holding his breath in. I was endeared by his reaction and I took a step back to give them more space, even if it was useless.

It was not surprising from Chelsea to hug people, but I could see Niall hadn't expected it at all. When she pulled away, he quickly crouched to her level and sent her a genuine smile that she returned.

"So, Chelsea, are you ready?"

She nodded quickly, her eyes getting bigger with excitement.

"And, is your mommy ready too?"

With a glance at me, she quickly looked back at Niall and nodded again, jumping slightly, barely containing her enthusiasm.

The car ride was quite short and we ended up walking in the streets alongside other people trying to enjoy the fair. The first thing Chelsea asked for were fries but after eating a few, she handed the rest to me and begged for a ride on a carousel.

Niall and I leaned against the fence, both of our phones out, taking pictures every time she would pass in front of us. We hadn't really talked much, and with the discussion we had the day before, I was scared it would become awkward between us.

"Chelsea really likes you." I finally just said, waving back at our daughter again.

"She's incredible." he simply answered, not looking at me. "I know It may sound crazy, but I started loving her as soon as I found out she was my daughter."

I felt my lips curl, understanding the feeling a bit too much. Niall was going to be an amazing father, and I swallowed the guilt invading me once again.

"D'you think it's crazy?" he asked, turning to me, his arms crossed on the top of the metal fence.

His eyes seemed to shine and I shook my head slightly, sending him a smile. I moved a bit closer to him and tilted my head, my hair falling on both our arms.

"No, not at all." I admitted in a whisper.

I felt his fingertips brush gently on top of my hand and hold my breath, staring back at him. These moments seemed to happen so often between us that it was starting to drive me insane. Were we cursed to feel that way around each other forever without being able to get anything more? Was I going to lose him a second time? Once again, by my fault?

"I'm amazed that we actually created... her..."

He sighed and looked down, lost in his thoughts, but all I could focus on was the shivers that ran all over my back as his fingers still grazed on my skin. I wanted to answer, but I just didn't know what to say. He looked back up in my eyes and i licked my lips.

"It's a part of you, and a part of me, and now we will always be linked, you know?" he added, this time taking my hand in his and turning his body gently in my direction.

I nodded again, trying in vain to calm the beatings of my heart. He was close again, so fucking close I could feel his warm breath on my face, and I desperately wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to find out if he tasted the same way he used to, if our lips fit together as well as they used to.

He smiled at me and sighed, finally taking a step back, and watching him back away broke my heart. I tried not to show it but it hurt more than a slap in the face. I don't know what I was expecting anyway. Niall and I have been over for years, and although we had both admitted that what we had back then was real, it didn't mean the love we both felt for each other was still alive. The fact that I lied to him probably didn't help things, and I couldn't blame him for wanting to focus on Chelsea. But I was scared. I was scared to fall in love with him again, and realize that he didn't have these feelings for me anymore. I was scared to see him with an other girl, to suffer from having him so close without being able to really be with him. I was scared I could never find someone else like him, someone I would love as hard and as deeply as I loved him.

"Mommy! It was so cool!"

We both turned to watch our daughter step down from the carousel and run to us. She grabbed my hand with both of hers and shook it hard, making me laugh.

"I want to go again! Please!"

I laughed again but Niall quickly bent down to look in her eyes and answered before me.

"There are many more rides to try, do you want to try this one?"

He pointed behind her and we both looked at the ride with hot-air balloons of different colors that seemed to fly. Chelsea's eyes got bigger and she turned back to Niall, nodding quickly and making him laugh. She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her as I followed them, eating a cold fry.

When Chelsea was sitting in the ride, Niall stood next to me, one of his hands in his pocket as he dug his free one in the punnet i was still holding, grimacing when he noticed how cold the fries were.

"She's so happy to be here." I pointed out after throwing the rest of the foor in the nearest trash can.

"I'm happy too." he pointed out. "I'm happy we're all here together."

I sent him a fond smile. He didn't have to add me, but he did, and it meant more to me than I could explain. I tried to push away the fears threatening to invade my mind again. I had to take it day by day, or else I was going to drive myself crazy.

After winning a pink unicorn for Chelsea in a game, Niall brought us near the river. I held Chelsea's hand tight in mine, a bit scared to lose her in the mob of people surrounding us. I noticed she had gripped Niall's hand too and it made me smile. I felt like things would be easier now that i knew she liked him.

Niall crouched down again and immediately, Chelsea gave him all her attention.

"The fireworks are about to start." he pointed out. "Do you want to get on my shoulders?"

I saw her lips curl and she nodded slowly, waiting for his next move. He placed his hands under her arms and pulled her up easily, moving her so she straddles his neck. She held herself on his head and it made me laugh. His hand grabbed her legs and her head moved back to look at the sky. I felt like a simple witness of a new relationship growing right in front of me and i loved it, every seconds of it. I took my phone out of my pocket and took a picture of them together just as the fireworks started. My lips parted when I looked at the picture, barely believing I got to take a picture like that, especially with a phone. I sent it to Niall quickly and started a video to keep a memory of this moment.

I had no idea how i managed to stay so far away from Niall for so long, but having him around in the past two days had made me feel happy in a way I thought I never would again, and seeing him so kind, patient and sweet with Chelsea was an incredible bonus I hadn't expected. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't hide my pregnancy to him. It brought more bad than good. Unfortunately, it was impossible to start over, and I would never find out what would have happened between Niall and I. We could still save the relationship between Niall and Chelsea, and I intended to do anything I could do to make this work. Chelsea deserved a father like Niall, and Niall deserved to be in his daughter's life. I just hoped that somehow, somewhere, there was also a place for me.

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fic #niall horan writing #niall #niall fluff #niall fanfic #niall fan fic #niall fic #niall story #niall writing #my fanfics

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sopranokirstin · 6 years ago

Text

christmas is here: first listen & reaction!

alright fOLKS i’m excited for this so without further ado, my first time reaction of the new ptx album yay (under the cut bc spoilers!)

1. what christmas means to me

OH MATT :’))))))))))

omg harmonies i love

scott is going OFF

i yelled!!!!! the harmonies are so pretty

hello kiRSTIN

mitch sounds like a WOMAN

yes @ masky high notes

OH YES BREAK IT DOWN

key change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KIRESITIN

i’m so happy rn :’)))

hello party track

YES RIFF SCOTTY

2. rockin’ around the christmas tree

matt ashjgdsajhdsk JSDHKA MATT

i love this chill vibe

oh MATT

ohojdsghd i have heard this before in a ptx song

HELLO KEVIN

the harmonies are so christmassy

KEIVNJSDHFKADSK

kirstin and matt are my parents djfhadsfksafdas omg that was perfECT

harmonized high note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas

(please let this have a matt solo i beg you)

ohhh this beginning???

OH KRISTINBFCS yes

i love one (1) trio

yes kevin

all of these are BOPS so far

yes mitchy!!!!

kirstin leads are my fave... i might be biased tho

YES MATT

ohh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh <3

4. grown-up christmas list feat kelly

(i can only think of socal vocals rn)

kelly’s voice is GORGEOUS

the bells!!!!!

i’m gonna cry this is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES HARMONIES

mitch! i love you!

go off kelly!!!!!

i love her voice so much i can’t explain it!!

is that matt’s falsetto????

i say yes kelly!!!!!

MATTSAHFJHSADJ WHAT THEF NUV

5. greensleeves

oh i know this song ???

band harmonies are my fav

(idk who is singing but it sounds like avi and i wanna die)

hi matt

(spotify ads just ruined the transition, thanks)

6. sweater weather

MATT OH MSTFGSDA

THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN ASKING FOR!!!

BARITONE SOLOS FOR MATT YES

hello BOYS

this is not christmassy at all but i LOVE it

i’m so shook right now i can’t think

that trill mitch!!

mitch is singing the lows omgjfjksh

trio splitting apart..... YES

i love this chorus so much

7. when you believe ft maren

SHGFS MATT

yes maren omg

i LOVE this intro so muchbs sdjfkhak i can tell this is gonna go hard very soon

ohhhhdsjfhk yes!

SCOITJDS I JUST YELPED

get runny boy omg

there are so much runs here

mitch and maren duo omg.......

their voices go so GOOD together

HGSJFHJAS THE HIGH NOTE DJFHDS OMG YES

i’m screaming all over the place

i loved it :’))))))

8. waltz of the flowers

hello superfruit livestream

wait i’ve hEARD this song

this gives christmas eve vibes

OH MITCH YES

hello kristie’s head voice

matt is so killing the bassline

9. here comes santa claus

lots of “dabadaba”s in this album

OH EYSH

MATTDSJFHSDA

i love kristin maldonado so much!!!

SKCHGKD SCOTT

break it down kevin!!!

MATTSBFDS OMG

this is all i ever wanted

SAHHASDK AHHHH

mattJSDHJKFSDK GIVE ME A BREAK

the hamrony!!!!!!!!!

the bass drop!!!!!!!!!!!

the sdjhgfjsdkfa hello god rest ye merry gentlemen

I SAY YES TO ALL OF THIS

11. where are you christmas

no this is so soft!!!!!!!

no mictjsdjfhska i’m gonna christmas!!!

“meeee” OHGFDJKH

i cant talk im so emo!!!

KIRISITHN

THE LOW NOTE IM FJSDH

mirstie !!!!!!!!!!!!

scirstie own y entire ass

KEY CHANHGEKSDJK

SCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no i love this too muych i cnathjkdsfhjks

MATTDSGFH

i might be cryign

def on my top three omg

12. jingle bells

oh so this is the one they recorder last year

i’ll allow it because i love kirstie in this

i’m quacking at the quality tho

i LIVE for kirstie’s high note here

soo!!!!!! i’m an emotional wreck right now. i didn’t dislike a single song here and that literally never happens jsdhfjsk wow. faves are what christmas means to me, rockin’ around the christmas tree, when you believe, here comes santa claus, where are you christmas (i deadass listed half of the album but hey)

this fucking album is a masterpiece and i love my boys and girl so fucking much!!!!!!

#pentatonix #reaction #mine #christmas is here #hope tumblr doesnt mess up the stuff in mobile #i lvoed it so much guys :')

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evenifyoudontfic · 6 years ago

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Even If You Don’t: Chapter 31

Previous chapter

im literally the worst at updating this thing im so sorry

Mari's POV; Four days later

London

"Ash, I'm not moving here permanently," Calum said into his phone as he walked out of my bedroom.

We had been back in London for a couple hours now, only just arriving back at my apartment when Calum's phone started ringing. He had obviously told the band he was staying with me for the next six months before we left Indianapolis, and Ashton apparently had a few choice things to say about the last-minute planning of it all but was only able to get ahold of his bandmate after we got home.

"I told you why already, Ashton-" I could just tell Calum was rolling his eyes, making me laugh softly. "-I'm staying with Mar until the iHeart Awards. ... I'm not asking you to send me all of my belongings. ... I'll be back for a couple weeks during Christmas anyway; I just need you to send some clothes, my guitar, and my journals! ... Well, then you can yell at me then. ..." He sighed sharply, "Yes, Ashton, I will pay you back for shipping. ... Are you gonna send my stuff or not? ... Thank you. ... Yeah, I'll talk to you guys later. ... Bye." He sighed again, a little more softly this time, stuffing his phone back into his pocket and coming into the kitchen where I was.

"Is Ash mothering you again?" I snickered, making him frown.

"I didn't realize I was moving out of my parent's house just to move in with another mum," he grumbled, cracking a smile when I giggled again. I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"He cares about you, Cal," I reminded him while his own arms wrapped around my waist.

"I know," he sighed again, kissing my forehead, "He can just be a bit much sometimes."

"Kinda like you when I caught that cold on tour?" I grinned.

"That's different," he pouted, "You were sick; I didn't want it to get worse."

"You were still mothering me, Cal," I giggled.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes, "But at least it wasn't as bad as when Kenz lost her voice."

"Jesus," I laughed again, "I thought Ash was actually going to burn the place down."

"Pretty sure he would've if it hadn't been for the fact that it was in Sydney and his mum was there to calm him down."

"God bless Anne," I sighed, only to let out a sharp shriek when I felt Calum's fingers start poking at my sides.

"C-C-Cal! Stop!" I begged through my involuntary laughter.

"Ah, what's the magic word?" he shook his head. I huffed lightly, not wanting to admit defeat but knowing I had to – he was a lot stronger than me and I wouldn't be able to fight him off.

I quickly moved my arms from around his neck and let my hands slide to his cheeks, pulling his face to mine. I felt him smile as he kissed me, finally stopping the tickling. When I pulled away, I watched his eyes flutter open and he looked at me with a fond expression.

"I love you," Calum told me, and I couldn't keep the grin off my own face.

"Pretty sure you've said that a hundred times since you woke up this morning," I commented.

"Have to make up for all the times I was too afraid to say it," he replied, only making my smile get bigger.

"I love you too," I said softly, earning myself another bright grin as he kissed me again.

Calum's POV; The next morning

"Cal, you'll be fine," Mari assured me with a roll of her eyes as we walked side-by-side down the long hallway to the room the rest of Lost and Found was waiting in.

Mari had gotten a text from Kenzie that they were going into the studio to write some new songs. She asked me if I wanted to tag along – and I did, but I was still a bit nervous about it. Mari's bandmates and I hadn't seen or spoken to each other since I randomly showed up that day I was looking for Mari, and I had a sinking feeling that it wasn't going to go well this time either despite the fact that Mari had forgiven me for what I did.

"I don't know..." I mumbled, "They were really mad..."

"Are you cheating on me with one of them?" she asked calmly, taking me by surprise.

"W-What?" I shook my head in disbelief – where did that even come from?

"Are you in a relationship with any of them?"

"Of course not!" I exclaimed softly, "Why would you thi-"

"Then why are you so worried?" she shook her own head and I felt her hand squeeze mine, "Why are you so worried what they think?"

"Because they're your best friends," I grumbled, "I don't want them to hate me... If you had to pick between me and them, I know you'd pick them..."

"But I don't have to pick, Cal," she smiled gently, "So please stop being nervous."

"Okay," I exhaled sharply, "You're right; I can do this." I heard a soft giggle beside me, letting my body relax as Mari tugged me into the room.

"Hey, guys!" she beamed, making her friends look up.

"Mari!" they cheered in unison, "We've missed you!" She let go of my hand to hug her bandmates while I just stood in the doorway.

"Calum," Kaylynn nodded, but her voice was monotone.

"Kay," Mari warned with a slight smile on her face, "You promised."

"I'm being nice!" she defended.

"Yeah," Kenzie agreed before looking over at me, "Just gonna take a while to get used to having you around again." I swallowed lightly but nodded in agreement – I can't imagine how they must have felt having to watch Mari go through the break up, only to have the person who did it to her back in her life.

"So," Mari chirped, coming back over to me as she spoke to the girls, "What are we thinking about writing today?" She took my hand and pulled me over to the couch, making me sit down before taking her own seat on my lap. I looked at her with a small grin, barely noticing the other girls watching out of the corner of my eye.

"We're not sure yet," Vanessa sighed, "Geoff said we need at least one new song before iHeart, but we haven't been able to come up with anything."

"Well, we have ideas of what we'd like to do," Kenzie interjected, "We just don't know which would be better for the show."

"How about we don't focus on iHeart right now?" Mari suggested.

"But we have to get something written for it," she shook her head.

"I know," she nodded, "But it's a lot harder to write a song when you're stressing yourself out over it." I let out a breath of agreement, making Mari glance at me since she was the only one close enough to hear it.

"You mean write a practice song?" Kaylynn asked curiously.

"Something like that," she shrugged, "And if we like it enough, we can release it later."

"So what are you thinking then?"

"Well... Older people are always complaining that 'songs these days have no meaning' and 'the lyrics are just a bunch of gibberish'," Mari shook her head, a smile beginning to form on her face, "So let's just give them what they expect to hear."

"You mean like, Blank Space style?" Kenzie grinned.

"Crazier," she perked up, "Let's make ourselves into the psycho bitches people seem to think we are!"

"I could get into this," Kaylynn snickered.

"I'm definitely in," Vanessa giggled.

Two hours later

"Okay," Kenzie plopped back down in her seat, a guitar now on her lap, "Are we ready to put it all together?"

"Hope it sounds good," Vanessa said as she finished tuning her own guitar.

"I hope it feels good!" Mari announced. I couldn't help but groan involuntarily as I was looking at my phone, earning a chorus of laughs.

"If you think the 5SOS references are bad when you're here, you should see her when you're not," Kenzie mentioned, making me look at them.

"You all know not to say 'sounds good' around me!" my girlfriend frowned, "It's a reflex that haunts me every day; I wish I could control it, but I can't!"

"Now you're just being dramatic," I snorted softly.

"You haven't seen dramatic yet, Calum," Vanessa shook her head with a smile. Mari simply rolled her eyes and began playing the song, making the girls laugh again as she was silently telling them the conversation was over.

[Kenzie]

I screen saved all the photos from your family vacations I checked out all your Spotify recommendations I followed you on Twitter and Instagram too Is there anywhere else I can find you?

[Vanessa, Kaylynn]

Every 15 minutes, I'm refreshing your page Refreshing your page, refreshing your page Every 15 minutes, I'm refreshing your page Refreshing your page, refreshing your page

[Kenzie, Vanessa, Kaylynn]

It was love at first sight, except you tried to ignore me You were playing hard to get Now I wanna be your girlfriend, but you can't ignore me 'Cause I found you on the internet

Now I always know who you're with, where you are, and what you're doing I just wish it was me that you were pursuing And the funny thing is, you haven't got a clue That I've got a crush on you

[Kaylynn]

I get notified you've posted on Facebook Sure enough, there's a new photo on your wall Within a few minutes, I see some blonde chick liked it I bet that she's your late night booty call

[Vanessa]

You send out a tweet that today was a great day But how it could be without me there? I bet it's 'cause you're sleeping with that blonde chick on Facebook The one with the bleached, peroxide hair

[Kenzie, Kaylynn]

Every 15 minutes, I'm refreshing your page Refreshing your page, refreshing your page Every 15 minutes, I'm refreshing your page Refreshing your page, refreshing your page

[Kenzie, Vanessa, Kaylynn]

It was love at first sight, except you tried to ignore me Tried to ignore me, tried to ignore me So I found you online and now you can't ignore me You can't ignore me, you can't ignore me

Now I always know who you're with, where you are, and what you're doing I just wish it was me that you were pursuing And the funny thing is, you haven't got a clue That I've got a crush on you

I watched Mari quickly pull out her phone and toss it to me. I caught it and unlocked it, already knowing what she wanted me to do. I opened her camera and started recording her just before she started singing her part of the song.

[Mari]

You'll never know the pain I feel as I watch you from afar I can't deny that my love is real I even know who your friends of friends of friends are

I never knew how love could hurt until I put you on my Google alert Every post, every tweet; It's so hard to see that it's not about me Not about me

[Kenzie, Vanessa, Kaylynn]

It was love at first sight, except you tried to ignore me Tried to ignore me, tried to ignore me So I found you online and now you can't ignore me You can't ignore me, you can't ignore me

Now, I always know who you're with, where you are, and what you're doing I just wish it was me that you were pursuing And the funny thing is, you haven't got a clue That I've got a crush on you

[Mari]

Oh crap, you just blocked me from viewing your Facebook Crap, you just blocked me from your Twitter too You sent me an email to leave you alone

Well, guess what... I still like you

The song ended and the girls immediately busted out laughing.

"That was so good!" Kenzie cheered, "We're definitely recording and releasing it for real!"

"I say we get some secondary opinions though," Mari snickered, coming back to me.

I handed her phone back to her as she plopped down beside me. I glanced at her screen, watching her open her messages and compose a new one. She sent the video in a group text to Ashton, Michael, and Luke, along with a message: Part of the new song we're working on so far!!! What do you guys think?

"They are gonna be so confused," I couldn't help but chuckle.

this ending suuuuuucks but what else is neeeeeeeeew

song used: "Crush" by Taryn Southern

and if u don't know what "Blank Space style" means: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ORhEE9VVg

Next chapter

#calum hood #5sos #evenifyoudontfic #5sos fanfic #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #calum fanfic #calum hood fan fiction #calum fan fiction #calum fic #5sos fan fiction #5sos fic #slfl #sounds live feels live

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