#please rsvp i need to make a cake

[mayoiayasep]

i would like to formall invite you all to my funeral next week bc the way this is going the next (and last of the seaosn😭😭) eoisode is going to kill me dead

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Nobody's Girl - Chapter Fourteen.

Thank you so much everyone for your lovely words and reblogs. I appreciate you all so much! Also, I thank you for being patient with me while I finish the writing on the story, just this chapter and the next, plus a little epilogue too and we'll be at the end. I've really enjoyed writing Luca and Emily's story. I hope you've loved reading it just as much <3

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen

Taglist - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 3,166

Warnings - Adult content throughout, minors DNI!

“I dunno what the fuck it is, but there’s somethin’ so fuckin’ beautiful about a pregnant broad,” Luca panted, his hands locked to Emily’s hips as he bounced her on his cock, his entire body wracked with lustful quakes. Having a nanny back again meant so much more freedom, freedom to drag his fiancée back to bed at a moment’s notice, since the kids were at the park with Sylvie. “Yeah, you enjoying this big cock, sweetheart?” 

“Oh, you have no idea!” she wailed. Three months’ pregnant equalled a very, very horny Emily, Luca remembering it well from the way Filomena had been through all of her pregnancies. He was only too happy to assist with that, too.  

Moving out from beneath her, he pressed her into the bed, loving kisses pattered over her lily skin as he penetrated her so deeply, she cried out shrilly with the magnitude of pressure hitting every last point of arousal. His lips pressed to her neck, tongue flickering against her pulse point as he dragged her walls with slow, hard thrusts, making heat prickle her spine, Emily clinging on around him.   

Her nails trailed his scalp and combed through his hair as they shared hot, syrupy kisses, both moaning softly at first, then louder as the pleasure broke forth like a tide. Their bodies undulated together in perfect unison, grinding against each other with deeply erotic urgency. He kept each thrust contained for as long as he could, before it became too much to bear and he began pounding her assiduously, at the mercy of his stormy arousal.   

He only stalled to withdraw, turning her onto her front and then sliding back into the soaking clasp of her cunt, her fingers gripping the pillows as she was pounded into with urgency, made hotter and wetter with each stroke that brought her ever closer to breaking apart. His hands smoothed up over the little swell of her belly, chasing goosepimples, reaching her breasts, nipples pebbling against the inquisitions of pinching fingers.   

She panted without reserve, Luca moaning deeply as he leaned forward, nuzzling, teeth nipping her earlobe and the side of her neck, kissing the marked flesh as his hand slid back down over her curves in a loving caress, fingertips reaching her clit and beginning to rub.   

The pleasure burned down to her very marrow, his cock thick and heavy within her fluttering walls, body rutting with primal urgency as he felt himself crest, dragging sparks from her as the velvet wet heat clenched around him and the white-hot glimmers rushed, blinding and consuming, her body shaking with the force of her release as he spilled within her deeply.   

“I feel like going back to sleep, mi amore, but I got shit to do,” he panted, pulling from her, giving her ass a little slap that made her squeak. “Just know you’re fuckin’ exhausting me. Ain’t right for a fella of forty-three to feel this old.” 

Turning over, she arched an eyebrow at him. “Do I detect complaining, Luca Changretta?” 

He winked, pulling himself back into his clothes. “Never, doll. So, what are your plans for the day?” 

“I have a wedding dress fitting to get to, the last one now. Then I need to call the bakery upstate and finalise the size of the cake now we have all the RSVP’s back. I can’t believe it’s only six days away. Absolute insanity that the time has passed so quickly!” 

“Ain’t like we really had a whole lotta that after finding out the baby,” he reminded her. True, there hadn’t been much, a grand total of eight weeks passing, Emily now in her thirteenth week of pregnancy and still feeling a little off because of it. 

Pulling on her underwear, she leaned to kiss his cheek. “True, yeah.” She then sighed, her lips thinning as she turned to tidy her hair in the mirror. “I wish Milania was coming with me. I wanted three bridesmaids, her, Greta and Maggie. It doesn’t feel right that she won’t be.”  

“Yeah,” Luca rumbled, knotting his tie, “but that’s on the kid, ain’t it? If she still wants to be sour, then let her be. Nobody could ever accuse you of not workin’ your ass off to try and make her feel loved and included.” He looked a little troubled by it, Emily turning to wrap her arms around his waist. 

“I’m still hoping she’ll come round eventually. It’s only been two months, it’s still so fresh.” 

He leaned to kiss her, thumbs stroking her cheeks. “They might’a lost their mother but shit, if those kids don’t have a damned good one in you.”  

His day began properly twenty minutes later, heading out with his guys to take care of some business that needed attending to, Emily doing a little straightening up in the lounge when the children returned with Sylvie.  

“Em, look at this!”  

Turning to Guiseppe, she saw him holding out a bunch of flowers, beautiful yellow ones she was not familiar with by name.  

“Oh, sweetheart,” she cooed, taking them from him, smelling the blooms with a smile. “Thank you so much.” 

“Used his allowance to buy ‘em,” Sylvie spoke, beaming at him. “I’ll go and get their lunch prepared, ma’am. Will you be joining us?” 

“I shan’t, Sylvie. I’m due to leave soon and head to my dress fitting, so I’ll be back to make them their dinner later.”  

“Good.”  

No, it wasn’t Sylvie who was rude enough to throw sass, but of course, the obvious candidate. 

Taking a deep breath, Emily picked up her bag, walking towards the lounge door. “Have a lovely afternoon, honey.”  

Milania’s hands fell to her hips, her sneer one hundred percent Filomena. “I will, without you here.” 

Even through all her patience and understanding, Emily was beginning to feel her edges fray with the situation, pulling on her light little cashmere cardigan and slipping her feet into her shoes, heading downstairs to where Greta waited for her. It was a beautiful mid-morning, the women deciding to walk to the bridal boutique across the park rather than be chauffeured there. 

“Dolly, you look tense,” she greeted her with, kissing her cheek. 

“I shouldn’t be, not after spending as much time as I did both on top of and underneath my almost husband today,” she began as they linked arms and began to walk, Greta making a soft whoop of appreciation. 

“Little devil,” she chuckled, nudging her arm. “But let me guess, the kid still ain’t giving you anything but smart yap, right?” 

Smart yap. That was one way to put Milania’s frost. “Oh, yeah. And I get it, Greta. She’s still hurting over her mommy, it’s only been nine weeks after all. It’s testing me, though. She’s winding the key in my back a little too hard now, and I know that me and having a temper don’t go hand in hand...” 

“Oh, they do not,” she chimed in agreement. Emily was perhaps the most placid person she knew. 

“But yeah, I can feel myself close to breaking point with her. I don’t want to be either. What a person wants and what they get, though, well. Two very different things.” 

Her young acolyte was showing great maturity with the situation, Greta very proud of the way she was handling it. Juggling the passing of Filomena, a pregnancy, a wedding, three heartbroken children – one of whom loathed her – it was a lot of plates to keep spinning. 

“I think you’re doing so well in how you’re going about all of this,” she voiced, tightening her arm upon Emily’s supportively. “My good god, dolly. I think I would have driven myself to gin if I was in your situation!” 

“I’ve felt like it, you know!” she spoke with wide eyes. “I’m not really having much booze, though. I read that there’s this new theory the doctors are noticing that women who drink sometimes have difficult pregnancies. Some even say it can harm the baby. Did you ever hear such a thing?” 

“Well, at least you have your cigarettes,” she spoke, laughing softly. “They ain’t said nothing about that, have they?” 

“No, thank Christ!”  

Their leisurely walk continued, both catching up with one another, meeting Maggie outside of the boutique with hugs and kisses upon arrival. Once there, the topic swung back to Milania, the Brooklyn native of course having her own thoughts over the situation. 

“I wouldda cracked the kid in the jaw for speakin’ to me like that, I tell ya, baby love,” she began, shaking her head with a low whistle. “She needs to learn a little respect for her elders, that one. I get it, I know she’s grieving, but you gotta put your foot down hard with her, sugar.” 

“I know, I know,” Emily sighed, resting a hand to her forehead. “She’s stopped doing it in front of Luca so much because she fears the wrath of her daddy, but when he isn’t around, I cop a mouthful. He said if she chooses to be sour then that’s on her. Maybe you’re right, though. Perhaps she does need to know that I too have my own wrath.” She then chuckled slightly, lifting her hands in exclamation. “Well, I really don’t, but perhaps it’s time to muster some.” 

“Atta’ gal!” Maggie spoke with encouragement. “I think it has to happen.”  

It would, too. Much sooner than Emily herself anticipated. With the final fitting done, delivery of the dress to her apartment organised for the following morning, the trio went for lunch at a beautiful Italian bistro, Emily treating her friends before they all went their separate ways.  

Arriving home, she was overjoyed to see Luca there, him telling her he’d wrapped up his day quickly, welcoming her into his arms.  

“I’m gonna go take a bath and then we can take the kids out for dinner and a movie. How about that? Save ya cookin’ for once,” he offered, smoothing his hands down her back over the soft silk of her dress. 

Her smile broadened in an instant. “Sounds wonderful, honey.” In truth, Emily barely cooked; Luca either insisting they order in or taking them out at least three or four times a week, but it was a nice gesture all the same.  

“Kids, can you go grab everything you need for the laundry?” she called as Luca walked down to the bathroom, her stepsons sticking their heads out from their bedroom doors. “The man will be here to pick everything up in an hour. Just throw it out into the hallway and I’ll bag it up.” A full laundry service; she truly was living the dream. 

“I’ll help, Em,” Guiseppe spoke, going to the hallway closet and fetching the large, white laundry sack. He was such a good kid. “Is it coming back in time for when we go away? I wanna take my blue shirts with me.” 

“Yes, my love. They’ll have it all back by tomorrow. Have you guys made a start on your packing?” 

Alessio emerged with a handful of clothes, throwing them into the sack with a little flourish before placing his hands to his hips. “I’m too little to do my case!” 

The tiny bit of sass in his words had her in soft fits. “I can help you. Go fetch your case from under the bed and we’ll pack together.” They would be up there for a total of two weeks, but the children only one of those weeks, all heading back to the city with Sylvie so she and Luca could enjoy a little quiet time as husband and wife. Because of her pregnancy, she didn’t want to travel in order to go on honeymoon, not wanting to be far from her doctor just in case. Luca was fine with that, the two planning a getaway down to Florida after the baby had been born.  

With Alessio’s case prepared, she went to oversee Guiseppe’s packing, the pair gathering a few more bits for the laundry, Emily coming out to see her wishes had not been fulfilled by her stepdaughter.  

“Milania, I need your laundry, sweetheart,” she called, tapping her bedroom door softly with her nails.  

“I don’t have any.” 

Sigh. “You have to have some, honey. I’m coming in.” Opening the door, she spotted the full basket across the room, Guiseppe hanging back by the doorway with the laundry sack in his grasp.  

“Get the hell out of my room! I don’t need any of that washing!” 

“Yes, you do. Honestly, there is absolutely no need for this reaction, love.” 

Throwing herself off her bed, the child stormed over, grabbing her wrist. “Get off my things, Emily! You’re not my goddamned mother!” 

“Get your hands off of me right now, young lady!” she spoke sharply, yanking her arm free of the tight grasp, picking up the laundry basket and striding for the door, emptying it into the sack Guiseppe held wide. “Good boy, go put it by the front door for me.” 

“I can’t believe you’re not listening to me, just bursting in here! This is my room!” Milania cried, Emily feeling herself winding tightly.  

“And this is laundry you’re causing a fuss over! Dirty clothes that I am organising being washed for you! Hell, what a two-headed monster I am!” 

“Yeah,” the girl snarled, “you really are. God, I wish my father had never met you. You will never be my mother, so stop acting like you are. You’re just some two-bit, low rent, card counting broad. Mommy was right when she said he’d get bored of you. He will, and then I’ll be free of you. Bitch.” 

That was it. She’d reached her limit, Emily turning to pound her hand down upon the nearby dresser. “Stop it! For the fucking love of god, Milania, you have to stop hating me for something I didn’t do!” she roared, Luca appearing in the doorway in a nanosecond, folding his arms as he leaned against the frame, looking quietly surprised to see this, her complete loss of cool.  

“No, because...” Milania began, being cut up immediately. 

“Because nothing! I know you’re hurting through this, I know, I see it, and all I want to do is be there for you in it, but you push me away with your attitude and your venom at every single fucking turn! I’m not the one who broke your heart, your mother did! I’m only trying to put it back together again, because guess fucking what? I’m not the one who left you, she did! I’m still here, but Christ, Milania, you have to stop punishing me because you can’t punish her!”  

Her throat hurt with the pitch of her screaming fit, striding towards the door, Luca grasping her shoulder as she passed him, her eyes swimming with tears as she entered the lounge and crashed down on the couch, covering her face with her hands and crying hard.  

“Daddy! Are you just gonna let her speak to me like that?” she heard Milania rage. 

Luca took a long moment to reply, but when he did, she breathed a sigh of relief that unlike her worry had begun to suggest, she hadn’t gone too far. “Yeah, honey. I am, ‘cuz you need to hear it. She’s right. Your mom went away, but she didn’t, and she ain’t gonna. You gotta stop blaming her for being alive when your mother isn’t.”  

“But she...” 

“No,” he told her sternly, pointing his finger, “no buts. You straighten your attitude out, you hear me? Ain’t nobody sayin’ what you’re going through isn’t tough, kid, but you gotta understand that Emily would do anything for you, and how do you repay that? Throw it back in her face. I could be marrying some shrew who hates all of youse, who don’t wanna take up for my kids. That ain’t her though. And you damned well know it.” 

Her lips pursed, the girl swallowing hard. “I’m going to finish packing. Please leave me be.” 

Turning, he closed the door behind him, meeting Guiseppe along the hallway. Taking his sons face in his hands, he leaned to drop a kiss atop his head. “Thanks for bein’ a good boy for your stepmom, son. Proud of ya.” 

The child beamed at his father’s praise. “I love Em, she’s great. She was right; Milania is mad at mommy, I think, but mommy ain’t here for her to yell at.” 

Luca marvelled at the insight of his eldest son, stroking his hair with a sad smile. “Yeah, I think that’s it, too.” 

“Won’t make any difference either,” Guiseppe shrugged, “ain’t like shouting at Emily is gonna make mommy come back. I tried to talk to her the other day about it. Emily is really here for us, and if Milania let her, she’d probably make all of her pain feel a little better. I dunno, though. I’m just a kid.” 

“No, don’t you ever dismiss yourself like that, my boy,” Luca told him, “you’re right, you really are. Like I said, I’m proud of ya. Growin’ up to be a fine, young man.” 

The boy beamed again. “Thanks, pop.” While his son went back to continue playing with his train set, Luca moved to the lounge, pulling Emily into his arms once he’d seated himself beside her. 

“I’m sorry for blowing up at her like that, but Christ, she’s been pushing me for weeks,” she began, sniffling into the delicate silk of her handkerchief.  

“You ain’t got bupkiss to be sorry about, sweetheart. Ain’t like it was anything she didn’t sorely need to hear. Kinda hopin’ it might straighten her out now, to know you ain’t about to stand for no more of her fuckin’ conniptions, no matter how upset she is,” he spoke, hand squeezing her upper arm. “If she ain’t finished with it then trust me, the words boarding and school are gonna come into play. She don’t wanna fix up here at home? Fine. She don’t get the luxury of spendin’ all her time here poisoning the air.”  

Emily frowned a little. “That’s a stark contrast to your thoughts this morning.” 

“Yeah,” he confirmed, sighing. “So was her attitude over such a non-issue as collecting her fuckin’ laundry, doll. If she wants to test us, then she needs to know there’s a limit. I think I’ve been too soft on her ‘cuz of her ma, but that’s gotta end. This behaviour ain’t continuing.”  

She agreed that perhaps it might be time to begin showing her what was at stake, should Milania continue to revel in her sour attitude, Emily understanding that kids truly did need boundaries. Her continued abuse of her stepmother was one she crossed often because to her, she was allowed to. Her grief allowed it, and her parents now knew that they couldn’t let that slide any longer. The time to toughen up was here.  

Still, for the rest of the day, Milania was quiet, barely engaging beyond a few words with either her father or Emily, but both noted she did seem to be a little less hostile in her demeanour. Emily could only hope that the next few days would breeze past with no further issue, the closer they got to the wedding.  

When the large convoy arrived in the Catskills just four days from the event, she felt calm and peaceful, being back at their beautiful country residence again. It was worth it just to see the look on Maggie’s face as soon as she exited the car. 

“Holy smokes!” the barmaid exclaimed, her jaw dropping. “Well, ain’t this a fancy pile o’ bricks you got yourself here, huh boss?”  

“Ain’t too shabby, huh, Mags?” he spoke, the staff all scurrying down the stone steps to begin carrying the luggage up.  

“I’ll say, gee! Imma for sure enjoy all that time off you gave me in a place this swanky!”  

He smiled, patting her shoulder. “You do that, hon.” 

“I plan on it! I’m gonna start by making me and my ladies a big ole’ pitcher of gin rickey’s, put my skills to good use,” she spoke, wrapping her arm around Emily when she felt her arrive at her side. 

Luca shook his head. “I gotta guy for that. You ain’t ever asked me for nothin’, don’t take nearly enough time off and work your fingers to the bone at the speakeasy year in, year out. You’re our guest, you ain’t doin’ shit other than enjoying yourself.” 

While he might have been a tough boss and the most formidable gangster within the Tri-State area, Luca was, at his core, a hospitable gentleman. “Alrighty then, I’ll take that as my cue to put my feet up and see how the other half live for a week!”  

She beamed, her and Emily making their way to the stairs, the trio complete when Greta raced from one of the six cars that had driven in the convoy from Manhattan to join them, Luca smiling. He loved how flawlessly she’d settled into his world, barely able to believe it had almost been a year now since she’d come into his life. It might not have been for purely magnanimous intentions to begin with, but the decision to pick her up from the bullet riddled street and take her home truly was one of the best he’d ever made. 

All he needed for his world to be fully peaceful was his daughter to finally come around to the idea of Emily remaining in his life, and not blame her for her mother’s departure from hers. 

Easier said than done? Perhaps.  

[jinkookspencil]

bts reactions - you experiencing sensory overload - maknae line

disclaimer/explanation:  (hyung line version here!) this isn't meant to be specifically related to any disorder or any other specific neurobehavioral phenomenon - anyone that relates to it is free to do so, basically. i myself struggle with this and often experience sensory overload, so this is based on my experience (one of the ones below is based on someone i know - it's taehyung / touch! i don't know how this feels exactly. this is based on someone else's experience so i hope i did okay writing it, i wanted to include one that was different than crowds and smells and lighting). every experience or relation to this is valid. (and just for clarification in case anyone needs it: sensory overload is when one or more of your senses experiences over-stimulation from your surroundings - it can be through sounds and noise, visuals and what you see, crowding, touch, smell, etc. anyone who experiences it and is sensitive to it can feel overwhelmed, can "shut down" and be unfocused, become irritable, cover their ears/nose/etc, and more - people have different reactions.)

word count for each member is quite long. (jimin: 914 / taehyung: 1.1k / jungkook: 780)

💐 jimin 💐

“Okay, beautiful bride - this is entirely up to you!" the recently-hired wedding planner had cheered. "....Maybe your charming groom too."

You and Jimin were set to marry in seven months. He’d proposed not long before, and the two of you quickly knew you wanted the wedding to take place as soon as possible since you couldn’t wait to jump into the next phase of your life together. 

It was only right after your proposal that you discovered that, when it came to weddings and marriage, anyone and everyone had their own different opinion. You’d both figured a meeting with an esteemed wedding planner could sort out everyone’s worries - and she was the one who suggested the seven-month timeline, despite everyone in the room running around like headless chickens, arguing and yelling at you, Jimin, and each other. 

“Jimin looks best in leather - can you get a leather suit?” from Jungkook.

“Don’t be stupid. White looks best on him. I'll only okay the leather if it's white,” from Hoseok.

“Can I twin with Jimin, or is that inappropriate? I’ll wear a vest so we're not too similar! Brown leather?” from Taehyung.

“You should never go for a strict theme,” from your grandmother.

“She HAS to, momma! It makes her unique. Do the 1920s!” from your sister.

“She can do whatever she wants. But it has to be elegant,” from your mother.

“Roses or daisies? Does she have a bouquet done?”

"Those smell diviiiiiiine!"

"She has allergies. Get those flowers away from her!" - in the midst of the chaos, with your hands covering your ears, you could only make out who said this one sentence - your darling Jimin, with his hand on your knee. But the others went on.

"An artificial bouquet, then?"

“Wear silk! Go for sexy!”

“Is lace outdated?”

"Wait - can JIMIN wear lace?!"

"The coffee cake sample is stinking up the room! Try that tenth flavor you forgot to taste - caramel!"

“What about invites? We should get the RSVPs out as soon as possible.”

“Will there be a DJ or a live band? Is Jimin singing?”

“STOP!”

With the yell, the entire room was silenced with everyone staring at Jimin. The gentle man who never raised his voice, even in sheer anger.

“Everyone, please just… stop,” Jimin pleads as he reaches out his hand for you, softly wrapping his fingers around yours and guiding you out to a nearby room.

“Breathe - deep breath in,” he pauses, waiting for you to comply, continuing once you do. “And exhale.” He makes you repeat the process.

“Are you okay, baby?”

“That was…. overwhelming.”

“Tell me about it - it’s overwhelming enough for us to make decisions - I'm a fucking Libra! None of them are of any help... They all want us to do it their own way… Should I kick them all out?”

“No, Jimin…. I don’t know,” you sigh, sitting on a chair. “Can’t we just sit here and hope they all leave?”

“One of us needs to face them… We don’t need to deal with them, though.”

You look up at your fiancé, and just as you suspected, he had a menacing smirk on his face.

“Oh no, what are you thinking, Park Jimin?”

“Let’s elope.”

“Elope?!”

“Yeah. Let’s go to Vegas and get a drive-through marriage! I think Yoongi knows the place, so he has to come with us, though.”

“Park Jimin, if you’d suggested eloping in some flower-field village with only the officiant, I’d have gone with you in seconds…. a drive-through marriage? Are you-”

“Did that ridiculous thought make you forget everyone outside?” Jimin cocks his brow. He was always good at fooling you.

“…..Yes, but it made me angry at you for a second there.”

“Then, that ridiculous suggestion served its purpose… even though I had to rile you up to make you forget. Sorry,” he giggled, caressing your face to kiss you on the forehead. “But hey, eloping in some beautiful flower field.... it sounds pretty…. pretty. What do you say we put on an act for everyone outside, eh? Then tomorrow, at dawn…. we sign some marriage papers, run to the woods in the best clothes we already own…. and overwhelm everyone else.”

“Pretty but…. They’ll still want a wedding…. I still want a wedding.”

“You will still get one. I want a wedding, too, - I need to celebrate you in every way and with the biggest bash anyone could possibly dream of. And I’ll take half the decisions, you take the other….. In the meantime…. Eloping would just tell everyone we don’t really need their input.”

“Let me think, Jiminie,” you whisper. 

“Think for as long as you like my princess,” he says, kissing you on the forehead once again. “If we do it, we might have to tell Jungkookie to come along. He’ll pout the most if he finds out.”

“He’s a harmless bunny, we can tell him to come along with his camera.”

“Smart,” he smiles, raising his eyebrows. “I love you… wife.”

“Husband,” you joke, poking his nose before kissing him on the lips. Your hands quickly find his, and you give him a slight nod as he opens the door. You knew you could face anything with your Jimin.  

🧶 taehyung 🧶

“I knew it! You look so pretty!”

Taehyung had the widest smile on his face. It suddenly became much harder to put on an act.

“Do the colors suit me?” you ask through gritted teeth and a fake smile. 

Taken aback, Taehyung’s smile momentarily fades. “Do you seriously think I’d get you something you wouldn’t look nice in? My love…. I’m just so happy.”

That was the problem. You’d do anything to make Taehyung happy. Really, you would. But when he gifted you a wool sweater for Valentine’s Day, one that was part of a matching couple’s set that he also had personalized…. you couldn’t hide your worry. Wool frustrated you more than anything. In all your life, winter was your most dreaded season. You simply couldn’t wear certain blends of the fabric, with it itching every skin cell on your entire body - it was a struggle to keep warm and always horrible to miss out on winter fashion. When unwrapping his gift, you’d masked the worry and panic to be surrounding the color of the sweater - despite knowing beige suited your complexion and perfectly matched his chocolate-brown version. Taehyung wasn’t to blame for not knowing, it was your first winter and Valentine’s together, and, despite everything else, one of the most romantic gifts you’d ever received…. And you’d do anything to make Taehyung happy…. But standing in his living room, petrified in his wool sweater… you wanted to scream.

“I’m so happy, Tae,” you say, not a lie in the slightest. Seeing Taehyung smile so widely always brought you joy.

“I’ll go wear mine! I hid it in the back closet so you wouldn’t suspect anything! Wait here! I’ll be gone for like 30 seconds!!” 

Taehyung had already dashed off before he’d finished talking, and since the moment he turned his back, you’d begun scratching. The skin at your forearms was definitely red already - you never learned your lesson to resist scratching as much as possible - and only when you remember that do you tug at the fabric at your nape.

“Hold on! I’m getting my Polaroid camera!” you hear from somewhere behind you. “Found it!”

You drop your arms, and sure, enough, your skin was even itchier.

But Taehyung’s smile was wider now that he wore his own sweater. Dark brown always suited him so well, and the red embroidered nickname he’d gotten embroidered on the neckline matched the one on yours.

“Wait, a tiger,” you say, spotting a tiny embroidered bear on the hem of his sweater at his hip. 

“Yeah! And you have a dolphin! You didn’t notice it before? It’s our favorite animals. Cool, right?”

“Very cool, Taehyung,” you say, lifting up your sweater to see the adorable little dolphin… and the red skin underneath. You drop the fabric, and your hopes that Tae wouldn’t spot the scratch marks were answered, as he’d been fiddling around with the camera. 

“Wait a second,” he says, reloading the camera with more film, sticking out his tongue in the process, as usual when he was so focused - the habit he never knew he had that kept you from ripping the sweater off, even as he continued talking about whatever, well after the camera was ready. After trying to rush through the conversation with fast replies, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Taehyung can we just take the damn photo already?!”

Your boyfriend, so starry-eyed and cheery just minutes ago, furrowed his brows as he glared at you in confusion. “What just happened right now?”

“Just take the damn photo, okay?”

“No. No, not now. Not until you tell me what the fuck is wrong,” he answered.

“NOTHING!” It was easier to lie. It’d hurt him less… wouldn’t it?

“BULLSHIT!” he screamed back, collecting himself before you did. “Is it… not enough? Are you having second thoughts about this relationship, or -"

“No. No, Taehyung,” you interrupt him, never letting Taehyung think that, you rub his shoulder. “I’ll… I’ll show you.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen when you reach for the hem of your sweater, and you could swear they’d pop out when you saw his face after you’d taken it off and exposed your nearly naked torso, red and scratched-up before him.

“It’s not serious,” you murmur. “I just… can’t handle wool.”

“Are you okay? Is it” he asks quickly, biting his lip as he inspects your body two steps away.

“I am….”

“Are you angry because I didn’t know that? I’m sorry, I really didn’t-“

“Of course not, Taehyung! The fabric just irritates me so much that I snapped. I know I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t really bare it. I’m not angry at you.”

“Really?”

“Really… It’s such a beautiful sweater, and it’s one of the most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever gotten…. But I feel like my skin is on fire so I don’t know if I can wear it, my love. Will you be mad?” you ask, biting your nails.

“Of course not. For the record, I can't handle certain fabrics too, but... I mean, it's not like this. I just get red the next day... I didn't know... Of course, I'm not mad, my love. As long as you're not,” he says, pulling you into an embrace before quickly pushing you away, remembering his own sweater, which he takes off and discards on the floor to hug you, skin-to-skin…. Which always felt nice.

Tae reaches for your chin, pointing it upwards as he leans into a kiss - gentle, kind, with his other hand grazing your arm. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs against your lips. “Fuck wool.”

You chuckle at his comment and his sudden toying with your bra strap. “Hey, Tae, how about we take that picture first?”

“No, baby, it’s not important.”

“No, I want to. We looked cute for a moment…. Let’s eternalize it.” You don’t wait for him, picking up the camera and both of your sweaters. “Make it quick.”

He kisses you quickly before the both of you hurriedly wear your sweaters. In 60 seconds, Taehyung managed to take a photo of you and two of the both of you, telling you to take off your own sweater when you took a photo of him alone, last. 

“Adorable,” you say, looking at the printed photos, but Taehyung had his eyes on you the entire time. 

“Don’t be shy to tell me these things… Okay, my love? Tell me anything.” The soft touch of his fingers on your arms felt heavenly.

“Of course, Tae,” you smile.

“I’ll set you an example right now. I’ll be honest, okay?” Taehyung says, biting his lip and acting extremely innocent…. which meant he was far from it. The shift in his gaze after you nod just proves it. “Seeing you just standing here in that cute little bra is driving me crazy…. Let’s still go celebrate Valentine’s Day, hmm?”

♣️ jungkook ♣️

From the moment you stepped into the club, you knew you’d made a mistake. With the strobe lights, thumping and repetitive music that made your ears bleed, and the muddled words of drunken conversations and singalongs from sweaty bodies that almost bumped into you… it was all too much. The only form of solace was your hand in your boyfriend’s and the sight of his boots as he walked a step ahead of you - looking down and focusing on them was the only thing you could do to keep yourself in any sense of ease. And soon enough, he stopped. Looking up, you see your boyfriend standing before your gaggle of friends before the both of you mindlessly greet them individually. Quickly scanning your surroundings, you try to find where the washroom could be - a brief escape from all the noise. 

“Hey,” you hear immediately, almost yelled into your ears. Even now, his voice was calming, as was the sudden presence of his other hand, now on your shoulder. “It’s too much, isn’t it? Let’s leave.”

“Are you sure?!” you say, turning to face Jungkook only for him to nod immediately. He points to his ears and the club around you. “Right?” he checks, knowing everything you could see and hear was flooding your senses.

You nod, confirming his suspicions and your feelings, a wave of guilt bubbling up inside you that Jungkook would leave with you just because you couldn’t handle it or bear through it. And alcohol, a sugary drink, or talking to your friends would only make it worse - both of you knew that.

“Me too,” he yells. “It’s way too fucking smelly. Perfumes, all the different types of alcohol, the unhygienic people - ugh,” he winces. “My ENT system is already fucking up. Let’s go.” 

It was hard to tell whether or not Jungkook was telling the truth, it was still fairly early in your relationship, but you had seen him complain about sensitive smells in the past. He always had to smell good smells, with entire cabinets in his apartment stocked with diffusers, oils, candles, incense, and colognes, all with his very particular, favored scents. Never too strong, never too light. It was endearing, and it made for a very sweet and sweetly-smelling boyfriend that was very easy to shop for. When he sneezes right in front of you, you quickly remember that he never knew how to lie.

Jungkook quickly turns to your friends and says a goodbye you could barely make out within the noise before taking your hand and leading you out the door, the way you’d come in just minutes before. 

The moment you’re both outdoors again, Jungkook sneezes three times in a row before sniffling and taking a deep breath in the crisp autumn air. The everyday sounds of the street - a couple of cars driving past, the wind blowing, and distant conversations - were calming, quiet in comparison to the hellhole you’d just escaped. 

“Ah,” he sighs. “Do you feel better too?”

“Yeah,” you say, squeezing his hand. “Thanks, Jungkook.”

“You don’t need to thank me, baby. I felt the exact same way.”

“What a waste, though. A night with everyone, and we’re all dressed up…” you pout, swinging your hand in his. 

“Hey, it’s not a waste!” he protests, tugging on your hand before wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “Taehyung-hyung is throwing that little gathering next week for Jimin's birthday so we'll see them soon enough. And today was a good reminder that this is why we don’t go clubbing that often anymore."

Another sniff" "Mm... baby," he says, tucking his head in your hair. "You smell great, as always. Like a spring day... I'll literally use your shampoo and soap again next time. I need this always."

You chuckle, knowing damn well the moment you and Jungkook move in together - which you couldn't wait for - you'd be using his perfumes and soaps just the same. To remember, you place a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Let’s go home - our soon-to-be shared home at least - and watch a cartoon or something, in our outfits, for an at-home date night and just enjoy each other for the night.“

“Sounds like my favorite kind of plan,” you say, tugging on his hand at your shoulder to pull yourself even closer to him. “But be careful, Koo, I might just want that for the rest of my life.”

“I already do,” he laughs, kissing the top of your head. “I’m all ready to grow old with you, my love.”

[creepycrawliesanonymous]

You broached the question over a night of thai food take-out and queueing various jazz music on your spotify.

"I need a plus-1 for my cousin's wedding."

Neiman gave you a look, mid egg-roll-bite. "Nobody needs a plus-1."

"I ticked the box on the RSVP, and I don't want food to go to waste, and I don't want to look like a loser in front of my extended family." You reached your chopsticks over to his plate and took a lump of his pad thai. "That's why you need to come with me."

He snorted. "This is probably the first time someone has asked me to be their date to a wedding instead of their entertainment."

"Alright well I'm not asking you to be my date, I'm asking you to make me look less pathetic in front of my family."

"Because I already-"

"Look pathetic, see, you're way ahead of me."

"Okay." He took another bite of his egg roll. "Yeah, sure. Whatever, I'll do it. Since you need me so bad."

"Here's one off the soundtrack of In The Mood For Love, be quiet."

That's how the pair of you found yourselves in the corner of the lamest wedding reception known to man, you bitching about various family drama and him silently listening to you(or completely zoning out, to be fair he was looking very intently at a centerpiece at your table and not at you).

"That's why Uncle Richard isn't allowed at Sara's barbeques anymore. Are you going to eat your cake?" Your plate was empty, save for a couple of crumbs, but Neiman hadn't even touched his fork.

"No, no, uh. I'm just thinking right now."

"Well stop." You took his fork and scooped up a piece of the chocolate cake in front of him. "Don't make me make airplane noises in front of people that have changed my diapers when I was a baby."

"Jesus fuck, fine. You're so fucking weird." He took the fork from you and stuffed the cake into his mouth. "Happy?"

"You live to make me happy."

"That's why I'm here, huh?"

You leaned back in your seat, giving him a rather pleased grin. Neiman rolled his eyes and gave you his own, more amused than pleased, grin.

"Why did you invite me?" He prodded.

"I told you, you're a pawn in my family mind-games."

"Yeah, but why did you tick the plus-1 box on the invite in the first place? It's not like you were cornered into saying you were bringing someone."

"I guess I just wanted to bring you." You absentmindedly picked at the crumbs on your plate. "I like being around you."

"O-oh." Andrew fidgeted with his hands. "Uh, me too." His ears were starting to tinge pink under the dim fairy lights.

For the first time since the ceremony you had fallen completely silent. The two of you just looked at each other(although outsiders may classify it as "gazing"), weighing the implications of a seemingly innocuous wedding invite. You were the first to break.

“Should we– um… should we head out now?”

“Oh, uh sure.”

“It’s just, I think I’ve exhausted my weird family stories.” You let out a nervous chuckle.

“Sure, yeah, sure.” The chuckle had seemingly also infected Andrew. You collected your various wares into you small handbag (which went very well with your outfit), and reached your hand out as you stood up. Andrew seemed to study it for a fraction of a second, before also standing up, taking your clammy hand in his equally sweaty one. You were in too deep now, but who cares. Nobody was looking at you. Except for Andrew, who was very much looking at you.

“Let’s go call a cab.”

[pellaeas]

🎵🎵🎵✨

SEATTLE!! 413 BROADWAYSTUCK KARAOKE!! ✨🎵🎵🎵

🕔 WHEN: Sunday, April 16 2023 from 4 to 6pm 🌇 WHERE: Rockbox https://rockboxseattle.com (SW corner of Cal Anderson Park aka Broadway & Pine) 21+21+21+ 🎤 WHAT: Homestuck (or regular) Karaoke! Finally, a friendly audience to belt your best Ave Mary Ams or Sexy Kan I. This is a Japanese style karaoke where we will have a small room to ourselves to be nerds in.

Please plan to chip in $10-$16, but I'll be counting RSVPs, not venmo payments. I'll only be able to host this twice if people chip in, though.

✅ RSVP: Final numbers needed in April, but please respond ASAP so I know whether "8 to 12 people" is an inappropriate estimate. I'm also asking for what you want to sing so I can make a parody songbook. https://forms.gle/L6eENEv97gd6uZ1J7

🍬 FOOD: they allow us to bring a cake for a "special event" 😛 . otherwise it's their menu.

🎼 Explore Homestuck parody songs here: https://twitter.com/HomestuckVocals/status/1187487289133256705?s=20 or @ me for personal help finding fun songs!

[skyler10fic]

To Have and to Hold: Ch. 3 Taste of Success

By Skyler10

Read on Ao3

---------------

Daisy had a slow week at work and was able to launch a simple wedding website by the following weekend. One page included their story, ending with their coincidentally mutual Christmas proposal. She uploaded photos of the two of them at various stages of their relationship and one of their rings. Daisy remembered with a start that they hadn’t taken engagement photos. Oh well, that shoot could come later even if they just had a friend take a few on a nice day. On the location page, she added a few photos of the chapel she had taken on their visit and typed its address. The registry page would have to stay blank for the moment. Eventually, she’d make a digital RSVP option as well, but before they could decide on and send invitations, they needed to decide on a caterer to know if there was a meal option—and whether they wanted a meal at all or just hors d’oeuvres. 

There were still so many decisions to make. Late one night as she stressed about their long to-do list, Carol reminded her that not every conversation they had at the end of the day had to be wedding choices and researching their options. They needed to also just relax together and talk about other things. Carol had said it gently, trying to avoid a fight, but Daisy surprised her by being relieved at the reminder. They had time. Not much for some things, but enough to still live their lives outside of planning and decision-making.  

They decided to keep the wedding itself small, and the wedding party even smaller. Carol’s lifelong best friend, Maria, would be her bridesmaid with her young daughter, Monica, as flower girl. Daisy’s bridesmaid would be Jemma, with her husband, Fitz, on piano and Elena on violin playing, “She Keeps Me Warm” by Mary Lambert.

“But just the two instruments,” Daisy clarified. “No karaoke track cheese, please.” Which Fitz teased her relentlessly about, especially saying that he was going to program a drum kit. Daisy reminded him she had earned her black belt before graduating high school, and that put an end to the teasing… for a while. 

The question of who would walk them down the aisle came up during a video call with Daisy’s parents, during which Phil offered both arms if they wanted to walk down together, but Carol reassured him that her Aunt Wendy would do it. Melinda would walk down first, escorting her parents to their seats, then Wendy and Carol, and then Phil and Daisy. 

Elena’s husband, Mack, was ordained as a minister in their small, progressive church, so he volunteered to officiate. And Elena would help their adorable toddler son, Alfie Jr., in his ringbearer duties. 

That left the people they would need to hire, including catering for the reception, a bakery for the cake, and a photographer. 

—----------

The second Saturday in March, they had a cake tasting at a small but renowned bakery across town. Daisy shoved her laptop into her bag as Carol pulled the car into the bakery’s parking lot.

“Okay, we only have one shot if this is the one we go with, so we have to each pick our top three possibilities, not just what sounds good today,” Daisy said like she was a coach at timeout. 

They got out of the car and walked up to the bakery, but before they went inside, Carol pulled Daisy to the side of the door.

“Hey, let’s enjoy this okay?” She took Daisy’s hand. “It’s a cake tasting! Possibly the most fun part of wedding planning. Just breathe with me, okay?”

Daisy took in deep breaths, as instructed. “Right. You’re right. It’s just cake.” She turned and saw a sample wedding cake in the window with two grooms. “Oh thank god.” 

Carol noticed too. “Is that what you were really stressed about?” 

“Well!” Daisy shrugged. “It’s been in the news for years with the courts and stuff, I just, I don’t know, didn’t want to get yelled at when they realize I’m not your bridesmaid or something.” 

Carol squeezed Daisy’s hand. “I promise. I made sure every bakery I called knew this wedding cake is going to have two little brides on it and they were fine.” She gestured to the two-groom cake on display. “Can we go try sample bites of cake now?” 

“Yes, please,” Daisy said in a bashful voice. Carol opened the door and they went in, determined to enjoy the moment. 

And they did, for the most part. A few of the flavors were not to their taste.

“Hm.” Daisy scrunched her nose. “Not that one, sorry.”

Carol’s eyes widened as she put a different flavor in her mouth. “Ooo! This one.” She pointed with her fork and then had a different idea. “Here.” She put a bite on her fork and lifted it to feed it to Daisy. Daisy helped guide Carol’s hand so they didn’t make a mess. 

“Oh! Wow. Yes.” Daisy reacted once she’d had a moment to taste it. “That might be the one?” 

Carol gave her an “I told you so” look. “I think I could eat that every day and not get tired of it.”   

The baker, a middle-aged man with twinkling dark eyes, returned just in time to see their impressed reaction. He clapped his hands once and inquired, “How are we doing over here, ladies? Have we found a winner?” 

Carol and Daisy exchanged glances and both said, “Yes” at once. 

“What is this one?” Daisy asked. 

“Ah, that flavor is called Happy Ever After. It’s a vanilla with a hint of raspberry and almond and my secret ingredient.” 

Carol took this as a challenge. She leaned her elbows on the counter and narrowed her eyes. “Hmm, butter?”  

The baker laughed and winked. “That’s no secret. Plenty of real butter here. And our traditional recipe buttercream, also with a special ingredient, of course.” 

Carol couldn’t tell whether there really was a secret to the buttercream or if he was just teasing her, so she just nodded. “Ah. Of course.”

“Now.” The baker plopped a heavy photo album on the counter. “Let’s talk design.” 

None of the designs were exactly what Daisy had been picturing so she showed him some photos on her laptop, and he flipped to a different section. In 20 minutes, they had exactly what they wanted all planned out. The baker took notes on each part, from flavor to decoration to a topper. As it turned out, the little brides cake topper would be metaphorical, as they decided on a cascade of flowers wrapping from the top down around the sides of the three small tiers and to the base. 

“And what are your colors?” the baker asked, writing and sketching on his notes. When they hesitated, he looked up. 

Daisy blurted out, “Lavender, silver, navy, and gold.” She looked to Carol for approval. 

“Yeah!” Carol blinked in awe at how easy that was. “That was the palette I picked, though. Are you sure?”  

The baker turned his sketch around so they could imagine the colors on it. 

“I’m sure.” Daisy placed her hand on Carol’s on the counter to assure her it really was what she wanted too. “It’s us.” 

“Excellent,” the baker hummed, more to his notes than to them, lost in his artistic visions. 

And so that was two decisions down, with a million more to go. 

As Daisy and Carol left the bakery, Daisy’s phone rang. 

“Hey, is this Daisy Coulson?” a young woman’s voice asked. 

“That’s me,” Daisy answered as she got in the car and closed the door. “How can I help you?” 

Carol waited to start the car until Daisy could tell her what was happening. Daisy noticed and put the call on speaker.  

“This is Nadia, from Delights Catering. I know this is super last minute, and I told you before that we didn’t have any tasting spots open today, but, um, we’ve had an opening.” 

Daisy picked up on her stress. “Rough day?” 

Nadia admitted, “Not as rough for me as for the couple whose whole wedding party got the flu last night and just now called to cancel. But their order of nearly everything on the menu is almost done, and it might as well be used. We’ll have everything ready if you can be here in the next half hour. And bring family or your wedding party if you want. We’re prepped for 100 over here. And I’ve only got five other couples left on my list to call.” 

Daisy raised her eyebrows in silent question to Carol who nodded enthusiastically. It was past lunchtime and they were getting hungry. Those little cake samples hadn’t been filling. 

“Sure thing, Nadia. We’ll be right over.” Daisy programmed the address of the convention center the catering company operated out of into Carol’s phone and used her own to send a group text to the wedding party, at least their friends in town. Phil and Melinda were too far away, but she sent them a separate text updating them on the cake and colors decision and telling them they were headed over to the caterer. 

Melinda sent back a thumbs up, a sunglasses smiley face, and a cake emoji. Phil sent a gif that said Great Work! and said to let them know how the menu tasting went. 

Carol neared the exit and realized they hadn’t ever decided on what time of day the wedding would be exactly, which would determine what food they decided on from Delights Catering’s menu. 

“We have the venue all day,” Carol reasoned, “so it would be up to us.” 

“What if…” Daisy hesitated to say it, as unromantic as it was. “What if we see what Nadia has on the menu and pricing, and that determines the timing?” 

“Okay, besides food though, when are you picturing this? Evening ceremony with dinner and a reception where we dance into the night? Or more like early afternoon so we can see the park around the chapel with an outdoor reception? I could go either way.” 

“Before I answer that, here’s another factor.” Daisy paused to point to the side street Carol needed to turn down. “Do we want to leave for our honeymoon that night or spend our wedding night at home and then leave the next day? And also, where are we going?” 

“Or, we could stay downtown in a fancy hotel honeymoon suite, so we wouldn’t be far from the airport, and then leave the next day. To wherever.” 

“Yes! Oh. I like that.” Daisy added “find honeymoon suite and destination” to her to-do list. 

Nadia’s cooking and her team’s friendly service didn’t make the decision easy. The basic dinner menu, especially for a small wedding with their approximate guest list number, was definitively in their budget, and the hors d’oeuvres were also delicious. 

“Okay, this lemon pepper chicken, though,” Daisy said to the table, but mostly Carol. 

“And this pasta is amazing.” Carol picked up the menu to see what it was called. “Pasta Barbara.” 

A blonde woman at the table observed them with an amused smile. 

Daisy noticed and caught her eye. “Is it that obvious we are new to this?” 

“No, no,” the woman assured. “It’s just a new menu item inspired by an idea I had. I’m Barbara. Or, well, everyone calls me Bobbi.” 

Carol and Daisy introduced themselves as well. 

The man next to Bobbi spoke up with an English accent. “And you can call me Hunter.”

Carol finished her pasta and put down her fork. “Are you two getting married soon?” 

Bobbi and Hunter laughed. Bobbi explained, “We’ve been married.”

“And divorced,” Hunter added. 

“And married again,” Bobbi concluded. “Now we do the wedding thing professionally. We’re photographers, and I got in the decorating and floral business so I could have more input on the backgrounds and settings for the photos. The photos are what hold your memories of your day for generations to come, so I take it pretty seriously.” 

“And I carry all the equipment.” Hunter smirked. 

Bobbi rolled her eyes. “And he shoots the video. We’re a team. And are you two here to plan a wedding or just friends of Nadia’s called in to help with leftovers?”

Carol slipped an arm loosely around Daisy’s shoulder as Daisy replied, “Planning our wedding. But it’s coming up pretty quick, so we have a lot of decisions to make.” 

Carol looked to Daisy and then back at Bobbi. “We’re actually looking for everything you said you did. We’ve got this great wedding chapel through the parks department on a pond, so it’s a great setting, but the chapel itself is bare bones plain inside.” 

“And the reception hall is just a big empty room, basically,” Daisy explained.

“So,” Bobbi jumped in. “You need a photographer who could do outdoor shots in the park and indoor, and you need a decorator and florist who could handle a small wedding on a budget?” 

Hunter relaxed back in his chair, looking even cockier as Bobbi read their situation exactly. Daisy could tell that though he hid it behind bravado, he was smitten with his wife and partner. 

“Yeah, that’s it exactly.” Daisy blinked in surprise at fate landing them at this table with the very people they needed to meet. “You can do all that?” 

Hunter raised his glass to her. “That’s our specialty.” 

“Well, I contract out with florists, but I’d handle all the details.” Bobbi searched in her purse and pulled something small out. “Here’s our card.” 

She handed over a business card with their logo, website, phone, and email address. 

“Take a look, rates are all online, and we can work something out,” Hunter said.

“Thank you,” Carol replied. “This is a huge help.” 

Bobbi shrugged. “It’s why we’re here. Nadia helps us and we help her. The wedding business can be pretty cutthroat, all about the right connections, so we formed our little alliance with those we like to work with. She gets the job done right every time, and we get better photos when everyone is fed and happy.” 

Daisy hadn’t considered this, but it was smart. Bobbi’s dedication to her craft to the point that she’d expanded into other areas, formed networks, and knew something about people impressed Daisy before she’d even seen a single photo. And Daisy suspected, if Bobbi had chosen Hunter not only as her husband but business partner, he must be good at his part as well to earn that smug look on his face as he glanced around the room searching for more couples to introduce themselves to. 

Nadia made her way over to their table. “How are we doing, Daisy and Carol? I see you’ve met my friends, Bobbi and Hunter?”

“They were just telling us about their business,” Carol informed her. “Also, I have to tell you, I love this pasta.” 

“And the chicken,” Daisy reminded her. “We have to have the chicken.” 

Nadia got out her notepad. “Okay, so that’s a dinner menu then, we’ve decided?” 

Bobbi spoke up. “Definitely do dinner. Hors d’oeuvres are great, but—no offense, Nadia—it’s easy for people to get skipped over or miss out on their favorites, or they feel like they are chasing plates around if you have wandering waiters.” 

Hunter added, “And if you do a buffet, people wonder why not just do the real food.”

Nadia said, “It’s up to you two, though, and time of day I know was still a question.” 

Daisy and Carol decided together silently, and Carol said aloud, “Dinner, for sure.” 

Nadia wrote down their picks from the menu and promised to follow up on Monday more formally. She called to one of her assistants, who brought them to-go bags of leftovers to take home. It was far too much food for the two of them, so they texted Jemma and Fitz to come over for dinner that night. 

—-------- 

After dinner that night, the four friends moved to the living room and settled in front of the TV after dinner. Daisy sat on the couch near the end table with her laptop and started it up. 

“Mmm wow,” Jemma groaned, “that pasta was so good but now I’m so full.” Fitz patted her hand as he settled in next to her on the couch. 

“Right?” Carol agreed as she set up the TV so Daisy could cast her laptop screen to it. Carol plopped into their Papasan chair and set a pillow on her lap so she could write their impressions of Bobbi and Hunter’s skills on her tablet.

“Ready!” Daisy said, navigating to Bobbi and Hunter’s website. She clicked on their wedding portfolio first and opened just one slideshow of many demonstrating their talents. “Ooo, I like that one.” 

Carol took note of the poses and ideas they oohed and ahhed over, as well as ones she or Daisy didn’t like or Jemma and Fitz warned against from experience just a year before. 

Daisy clicked on more slideshows—some with more creative shots and some more cliche—and they continued until they got to one with outdoor photos, including some at sunset, with two brides. 

“Ohhh,” Daisy exhaled as she paused on one. The sunbeams highlighting the couple’s silhouette were perfect. The couple touched foreheads, with one’s fingers entwined and loosely resting on the back of the other’s neck, and the other’s hands at her bride’s waist.

“Gorgeous,” Jemma said softly. 

Daisy looked over to Carol with hope shining in her eyes. They had to have one like this. 

“Already got it,” Carol confirmed. She squinted in thought. “Sun sets around 8 in June, so if we want it as a wedding shot, we would have to time it right.” 

Jemma reasoned, “Or, remember, we did wedding photos in advance. We didn’t want to have to worry about it the day of, and I didn’t mind if he saw me in the dress ahead of time.”

“I said it was bad luck.” Fitz shrugged. 

Daisy made a pshh sound. “The rain was a sign of good luck. Plus you’re both British, aren’t rainy wedding days sort of the standard where you’re from?” 

“Yes, but see, we live here now,” Fitz pointed out.

Jemma took his hand. “Rain the day of is all the more reason I’m glad we did them in advance.” 

Carol was still distracted by the photo on the TV. If she had a shot of Daisy and her like that, she’d have a print done for their bedroom. She could already picture where to put it on their wall. 

“Moving on,” Daisy announced. “Yes, we’ll try to get some shots with Bobbi and Hunter scheduled in advance.” She added that to her to-do list, which seemed to grow every time she took something off of it. 

Jemma pointed to the screen. “So it sounds like you’re decided then. You’ve got a photographer. And all the other things, yeah?”

Daisy worried her lip. It was a multipoint commitment—and not a cheap one. She caught Carol’s hopeful, subtle nod from across the room. They were doing this. 

“Yeah,” Daisy confirmed as she clicked through to the florals and decorations pages. She had to admit, Bobbi was good. “We’re doing this.” 

Jemma elbowed Fitz, who let out a little “ow!” of surprise. 

“Tell them,” she insisted. 

“Oh, alright,” Fitz sighed. “My cousin Deke is a deejay who does wedding receptions. If you’re looking for someone.” 

Jemma jumped in. “He was the one who deejayed ours, as you might remember, but he’s very popular. He’s probably done 100 since he started a few years ago.” 

Fitz added with a tone of derision, “He wants it to be his full-time job, and he dropped out of NYU to ‘build his business.’” He did air quotes around the last part. 

“Very successfully!” Jemma defended. “Fitz is just jealous. Deke sold his virtual reality simulator to a video game company so he doesn’t really need the work, but Fitz thinks he’s wasting his potential.” 

Fitz rubbed at his neck. “He’s also very … perky.”

Jemma translated, “He’s American and a bit enthusiastic, even for over here. But exactly who you’d want in a deejay.”

Daisy and Carol exchanged amused glances. Carol spoke up, “Sure, send us his contact info and we’ll get in touch.” 

Having a baker, a caterer, a menu, and leads on a photographer/decorator and now a deejay was a lot for a full day, but it also helped them feel like it was really happening. Their wedding was not just a dream but a real event they were hiring vendors for and making decisions about—decisions that would become their lifelong memories.  

[piers-official]

To: Piers and Marnie

From: Allister and Bea

you’re invited to Allister’s 10th birthday party!

date: sunday, october 29

time: 4 PM

place: meetup at stow on-side stadium

activities: dinner and cake at the stadium, then a surprise!

wear comfortable clothes, we will be outside

RSVP: Bea & Allister @stow-on-side-ghosts

Please RSVP by October 25th

-@stow-on-side-ghosts

//(sorry had to do it in text this time haha)

//(if you haven’t seen the image yet i can show you later)

Unfortunately, I won' be able ta make it, I'm openin' for Roxie's band an' need to time to prepare backstage an' all that.

I can though! I'll definitely be there~ Count me as RSVP'd, Al!

[piperbeerealtalk]

Wedding Real Talk:

Wedding Planning Advice:

All the planning you are doing - do not stress or overdo it. Sometimes simple is best!

Remember who you are planning YOUR day for (is it for you and your spouse or for your guests)

Don't people please - do what makes you and your spouse happy, if someone does not like it well take it with a grain of salt and move on

FIND A BUDGET & STICK WITH IT - you can make it through your wedding day debt free! Watch your budget & make sure you both are in agreement (you don't need to start off a marriage 50K in debt from one day)

Guest List: If you have not spoken or visited with a potential guest in >1 year you don't need to invite them (as much as you want to ask everyone you have met since you were born; do you really need that many people there)

Find unique things to incorporate into your wedding

Something will always go wrong - just realize this will happen and accept it and move on. My veil fell out at the end of the aisle before walking down. Thankful we just took our time and fixed it before walking down.

Here are some things we did for our big day that I absolutely loved:

Kept our bridal party small - 1 attendant each We both only had one person stand with us - we chose very close friends and it was the best decision. Only had to find one dress/suit and we could make it personal to them! Less stress and no drama from multiple friends!

Desert - Brownie Bar We are not big cake people and decided we wanted something different for dessert. Brownies were our choice and they were included with the cost of our caterer (money Saver tip). Everyone loved them. We still had a cake for the cutting of the cake - and served it to guests who wanted cake after!

Wedding Favors Nobody needs or wants another can coozie that won't get used. Find something unique for your favors. Lucky for us, we had leftover heart-shaped measuring spoons from a previous event and then had decks of cards for our guests. We enjoy cards and so did most of our guests - it really helped keep the party going!

Have a first touch/look You will be so nervous on your day it will make the day so much more special having that.

Private vows If you are not a big public speaker then have your vows privately just between the two of you (we did this after our first look)

Kid's Entertainment We had some coloring books, toys, and other kid's activities available for our littles

Music/DJ Coordinate with your DJ for this it is your day so make it memorable. We had our first dance before dinner that way everyone was watching and focused on us and not eating or being distracted. We did the traditional Mother/Groom & Father/Bride dances of course and then I wanted a Parent/Child Dance (we had a lot of relatives/guests with children present). We skipped the dollar dance and the garter toss. We felt like the dollar dance takes away from a lot of the fun and by asking people for money when they have already done so much. We had an anniversary dance - this is where all married couples dance and slowly leave the dance floor as the years they have been married are called out (Leave if you have been married less than 5 years etc.) I added a special touch to this song and used my parent's wedding song. Allow your guests to request songs - you can add this on your RSVP/website and save some time for your DJ Playlist.

Wedding website - remember what you put into your wedding website you will get out of. I swear I put hours into the website for my guests whether it came down to adding location, our history, pictures, and reservations/accommodations! In my opinion, it was well worth it.

[ofhouseadama]

'I just wanted to plan weddings' ok I realize this is FAR beside the point of your posts but ik you do event planning-- what are your essential wedding planning recommendations? asking for a recently engaged/ newly wedding planning me

I'd love to link you to the resources I've created for work but that would doxx me, but the advice I give to ALL of my clients who are doing large scale events, no matter what their event is, is to create an optimal timeline of your event week and reverse engineer from there.

(Caveat: everything will take twice as long as you think it's going to. Prepare yourself mentally for that, or else you will be VERY stressed and frustrated.)

Which is essentially an exercise in figuring out what's important to you, which you might not know until you realize it's not super important that you and your fiancé don't see each other before the wedding -- and actually it's a better use of your time to do a first look or cute getting ready photos and do all your wedding party pics beforehand. Or you realize you don't really care about having a wedding cake, and just want to do a dessert table or candy bar instead. Do you want a sweetheart table or a head table? Do you want toasts to eat up a ton of time? Do you care if the timeline is deviated from if your vendors think it's for the best, or are you an absolute stickler for following certain sequences of events?

Also please, please, please as someone who has to deal with guests all night: please factor in their satisfaction. If they're not happy, the people they abuse are your vendors. Feed them. Make food constantly available. Food, and at bare minimum, water and some kind of drink with a sugar content. If you are having an open bar, have food available. Non-sugary foods. Foods loaded with sugar make people drunk faster. Ask your venue if they have good HVAC. Ask to see the bathrooms on a venue tour. Make sure they know about fire code and egress. Put a line on your RSVP about favorite songs. Put a song on your RSVP about dietary needs, then communicate that to your caterer. For the love of all that is holy, have a seating chart. Have an alphabetized seating chart. There are cheap ways to pull off almost anything, ask your vendors how to do it. There is cheap and then there is tacky. There are good ways to do DIYs, and if you treat your vendors right, we are MORE than happy to show or tell you how.

If you're gonna spend your money on ANYTHING in decor: candles. Tons and tons of candles, greenery, and dollar tree chargers will go SUCH a long way. There are wholesale linen places on Amazon. Find a local wholesale flower market. Costco and Sam's Club also do florals and greenery. Do not get white hydrangeas in the heat of summer. Ask if you can furnish your own liquor. Get married out of season and ask for a discount on any rentals. Ask your vendors if they have relationships with other vendors.

Spend the money on a good DJ. Spend the money on a memorable welcome table. Put a framed a timeline on it. Your guests will appreciate it. Have a bar menu.

No one remembers your invites or your programs or personalized cocktail napkins or koozies. Never order enough favors for everyone, not everyone will take them. You don't need a ton of cake. You don't need a coffee bar. You don't need the filet mignon. But also don't let what you don't "need" stop you from choosing to do something special to you.

[kaimelia]

enough for you (ch 10)

She rolled over in bed, pressing the pillow down with her hand and glancing at the empty space beside her. An empty space she had become used to seeing over the past weeks, but not in the bed they shared.

02:46 AM

Amelia groaned, and before she knew it, her feet were on the ground, and she had pulled her cardigan around her body tightly as she tiptoed into the kitchen.

Link was asleep on the couch with the blanket pulled over his body, light snores coming from his mouth. She'd gotten used to his snoring over time, even though he denied it ever happened, and it eventually became an odd source of comfort.

She opened the cabinet and pulled out a glass, doing her best to be quiet as she filled the glass at the sink with water and took a sip.

"What're you doing up?" She turned around to see Link standing beside the couch.

"I couldn't fall back asleep and wanted some water. Sorry," Amelia whispered, placing her glass on the counter and grilling the edge of it.

"It's fine."

"Do you want some water?" Link shrugged and threw the blanket off of his body, slowly walking over and taking a seat at the kitchen island. She slid a glass towards him anyway.

"Did Scout wake up? I didn't hear him," Link muttered as he took a sip.

"No, I just woke up." He raised his eyebrows.

"Bad dream?"

"Sort of. Also, the storm isn't the most pleasant thing ever," she glanced out the window as lightning struck outside. "I'm surprised Scout hasn't woken up."

"You remember when he was learning to walk, and it was thundering outside, and he got super freaked out and just collapsed to the ground?" Amelia laughed at the memory and bit the inside of her cheek. She turned back to Link, who was smiling.

"The other weekend, it was raining, and Ellis left her doll outside. So, she went to grab it, but naturally, everyone else had to follow her, and I came outside to four children just dancing around in the rain. It was a mess afterward; they were all drenched, and their shoes are still caked in mud, but it always makes me happy to see Scout playing with them. Even if he has no idea what's going on." Link hummed softly before silence settled between them. Amelia drummed her fingers against the counter and drifted her eyes between Link and the window in the living room behind him.

"So, where do we go from here?" She bit her cheek and shrugged. "My parents set a date for their wedding. October 16th, and I have to send the RSVP card back. My mom said that it was just a formality because she knew it would be us three, but I didn't know what to tell her."

"You didn't tell them?"

"I haven't had much to tell them. If I do, I'll get a million questions that I don't know the answer to." He leaned forward. "Amelia, I don't wanna pressure you into moving quicker than you're ready for. Believe me, I already screwed up once with ignoring your feelings, and I've told myself I'm never going to do that again. But, I also need to know what's going to happen. I want to work this out, and if you don't want to, then I deserve to know."

"So you can go off and screw other women?" Link sighed and placed his head in his hands.

"Not like that, Amelia, you know what I mean."

"No, I don't think I do, actually."

"I don't wanna fight for a relationship that you're not in. If you've decided that we're done, that I'm an ignorant asshole because honestly, I was, then please just tell me."

"I wanna be in it, I do; I just don't know if I can." Her voice shook slightly as she spoke, and Amelia looked away. "What we have-or had, it was the thing that you always hope to have, the thing you eventually convince yourself doesn't exist because it seems too perfect, but we had that. And those first few months with Scout, I mean, it was insanely stressful and objectively one of the worse times in my life, but I always had you. I knew that I would wake up next to you every day, and I could always find you when I needed a moment to breathe because you became my person. It was stable, and I needed that. But then it got bad, and I started feeling myself slip, and I'm terrified it'll happen again." Link nodded firmly and pursed his lips. "And that's not something you can promise won't happen. We don't know what the future has in store; we don't know if we'll be able to take it or if the world will come crashing down around us," she whispered, wrapping her hands around her glass and bringing it up to her mouth. "Everything is so uncertain, and I need to be able to have myself through all of it."

"Are you willing to try? Because you're right. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but I can promise that I will do everything I can to do better." He clasped his hands together silently, resting his elbows on the counter. "I don't like to talk about the bad things; you know that, but you have to be willing to compromise in a relationship. I can do a better job of checking in on you and making sure that I'm aware of how you're feeling."

"You need to know that when things get bad for me, I go silent. I stop talking and being open like I normally would, and I shut people out."

"And I think that's why things went so wrong. I go silent when anything happens, so I didn't think anything was wrong because that's normal for me." He shrugged. "Maybe we won't ever be able to get back to where we were a year ago, or maybe things won't work. But, you have your therapist who can help you with issues I'm not able to. And you have me, who wants nothing more than to know that you're okay and to be with you, no matter what that looks like."

"I don't want to get married," Amelia blurted, immediately covering her mouth with her hand. "Sorry. I've needed to say that for a while; I just need you to know that. I don't want to get married; I don't want to have another kid. I just want to be us."

"You don't want to get married, like ever? Or now?" She shrugged gently.

"Definitely not now. I don't know if I'll ever want to. But if we're going to try and fix things, you can't expect that from me. I mean, you can check-in and everything, because sure, maybe I will change my mind one day. But no proposing, no foster kids, no new baby talk or anything of the likes because if I hear you talking about how much you want those things? I'll feel guilty, and I don't know exactly how that will affect me, but it won't be good."

"What about what I want?"

"We're allowed to want different things. But something as big as bringing another child into this world? We can't do that unless we both want it. Link, what we had before all of this, it was good, and I just want to get back to that and stay there. We'll figure things out as they come."

"You promise to consider the things that I want as well? Obviously, if it's something you don't feel you can do, that's different, but I don't want to be shut out of decisions in our relationship."

"I promise. We'll just take it slow and just figure things out," she murmured, rolling the empty glass between her hands. "Figure it out together." He smiled at her.

"Where do we start?"

"I think you're supposed to take me to dinner."

[eltanin-malfoy]

The Portend (His Royal Highness II)

word count: 6.7k

warning(s): cursing, anxiety

a/n: hi all! i just wanted to say that i know this chapter’s length is SO different from the first one’s but that’s because that one is, again, 2 years old and was written all at once. the other chapters will also be fairly long from here on out. i hope you enjoy this one!

taglist: @drawlfoy @war-sword @lilyreachelcassidy @socontagiousimagines @andreasworlsboring101 [@kaibie @regalillegal @mayorofzillyhoo, i know you all wanted to be tagged in the full-length HRH and this is pretty much it ig. please let me know if you’re still interested and want me to add you to the permanent tag list for this series]

reply to this post or send me an ask/dm if you want to be added to the tag list for the series or for all of my fics!

HRH - Table Of Contents

Y/N placed her palms flat on her desk as if doing so would bring any sort of change to the absolute hurricane that had begun its wrath within her stomach. She tried to imagine she was somewhere else for a second. Why would any rational human being do this to someone? That too to someone with as much responsibility as she had. Oh, right… she’d forgotten. Prince Draco was far from rational. Far from being a human being, even.

She looked down at the paper trays with guest lists upon guest lists kept before her, shifted them to the side and planted her face on the wood. That’s better , she thought. Now no one else can see how fucking ridiculous I feel right now! She tried to think about what the hell she’d done to him to make him act so horribly towards her. What could she have possibly done in a past life that would have resulted in her having to face such a… conundrum? She’d thought it was hard enough having to bargain with the King and Queen over how much detail could possibly be squeezed into cake decorations but had no idea a situation even more stressful could and would arise.

How could she let herself get so weak? How could she not bring herself to be assertive? She could have just said no, right? It wasn’t that hard. He hadn’t been nice at all. She took a deep, deep breath, trying desperately to calm her brain. It had begun to run from thought to thought, imagining every possible scenario that could go wrong. She had so much work left to complete on her own, and god knew how much attention and criticism she might face at and after the ball.

And the way she’d freaked out in front of Draco as well! She was sure he must’ve been at least a little put off by how strongly and emotionally she’d reacted so quickly. God, not that that should matter that much but… if they were supposed to work together for a highly publicised ordeal, they had to get along, right? Right? She hadn’t meant to do that. It’s just that he’d already shocked her a bit by slipping into her office so unexpectedly. And then he’d gone on and rushed to… that . Not to excuse what he did but perhaps she should’ve realised she didn’t need to panic so much over it either. She knew she was having a hard time with her anxiety…

Nevertheless, she brought her hands to the edge of the table closer to her and pushed herself up. She looked forwards, turning slightly to face the window she was looking out before everything turned to shit. The scenery was still gorgeous, albeit not that comforting anymore but looking out at the wide expanse of a beautiful garden would bring just about anyone some tranquillity. She had been thinking about how lovely the weather was today, how nice it would be to go for a walk after she’d finished up with her work. Maybe she could even head downtown for once and meet some old friends. But no, no one was happy just giving her a single moment of peace. Even fate was bent upon just giving her as much to stress about as was possible.

She looked down at the paper trays she’d just abandoned. Administrative work could distract her a bit, couldn’t it? All she had to do was send RSVP reminders and reach out to the guests and performers coming in from out of town about their travel and accommodation details. As well as request the performers for the outlines of their performances and send them contracts saying they’d stick by the approved setups. They couldn’t have a repeat of last year’s embarrassing The Hobgoblins’ performance. To be very brief, it had gone sexual. (The King and Queen’s expressions during it were still popular reaction gifs) She picked out one of the lists and opened up her laptop, finally beginning the work she’d been putting off all morning. It seemed so much easier and more comforting now that she had the much more disturbing dilemma on hand. She corroborated the list in front of her, adding ticks and crosses to the list to mark invitees as having confirmed or not. She then compiled their contact details and created a template for emails to send to those that had yet to confirm their attendance and travel itineraries. After this, she did the same with the list of performers, making sure to add enough information to their emails regarding the outlines they should send back.

And there… most of her work was done already, wasn’t it? Now all she had to do was proofread these, make sure all of the addressees were receiving the appropriate emails and well, press send. It shouldn’t take too long and then she could… She could get back to stressing about the problem fucking Draco had landed her in, goddammit! She was right back there again, her stomach beginning to swirl dangerously. She tried to take in a few deep breaths, forcing herself to get back to work. It wasn’t that hard. It wasn’t that hard!

Never mind, she couldn’t deal with it right now. She… Well, she needed a break. Or maybe she just needed to leave work early today. It was fair game after what the hell Draco had just unloaded on her. It was time she gave her intern some actual responsibility anyway. He was a sweet little fellow, straight out of university. Had his head in the right place but wasn’t particularly good with all the practical work yet. She’d assigned him some random organisational task she knew wouldn’t take her more than a minute and wasn’t going to bother checking because she thought it was simply too easy. Hopefully, he’d been able to do it to her standards.

She sat back in her chair and raised her hands up to her head, stretching out her fingers and breathing in and out deeply through her mouth. She was going to do this. She was really going to handle this (easier) bit of the work off to the intern and he was going to do it just fine. Just fine. Maybe she might have to assist him with it a little bit but it was going to work. It would work. Yes, it would. She shook her head to try and shake off some of her anxiety and stood up, closing her laptop’s screen and picking up the tray of guest lists. She walked out of her office and into the large room outside of it, which had a small group of cubicles placed in the middle.

While the rest looked rapt in their work (an exaggeration, to be sure, a lot of them were chatting with their co-workers and eating snacks), she noted her dear intern was just sitting idle which both made her feel hopeful and worried. He was sitting with his laptop closed, one hand tapping on the table’s surface, the other holding his phone.

“Hi, Colin!” Y/N said and he jerked forwards in surprise, dropping his phone to the floor. “Oh… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”. Colin shook his head as he picked it up and looked it over, “It’s no problem, miss… My phone is just fine. Are you alright? I know the prince was just in your office, he came to ask me where it was first! I was so excited and I asked him for a picture but he said he was in a rush! I can’t believe I’ve managed to have a conversation with one of the royals already!” Hmm… “have a conversation” was probably a stretch but… she chose to ignore that. The boy was definitely an optimist and she couldn’t fault him for that.

“That’s lovely, Colin. I’m sure you’ll get to talk to him and the others again. I had some work for you if you’re up to it.”

“Yes, of course! Does it have anything to do with the prin-”

“Let’s calm down there, Colin. I trust you’ve completed what I assigned you earlier?”

“... Oh, yes I have!”

“That’s great.”

She set the paper tray on the side of his desk and he looked at it for a few seconds before looking up at her again.

“So… what do I have to do?”

Y/N gulped and laid out the lists for him, beginning to explain to him the meanings of the markings she’d made and the emails he had to look through and send off.

***

Beep, beep.

Y/N kept her phone pressed between her shoulder and her ear as she walked around her apartment. She was holding a large iced vanilla latte in one hand and her purse in the other. She knew she needed to set something down but felt too jittery to do anything but pace around with her stuff. It was probably partly inspired by the amount of caffeine she’d drank that day but hey, that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Today was also a terribly tense day, wasn’t it?

Beep, beep.

She took a nice long sip of her latte, relishing in how nice and cold it was. She had the air conditioner on and had taken off her blazer but it still felt like she was this close to overheating. This sudden heatwave throughout the country was absolutely unwelcome as far as she was concerned.

Now if only Pansy’d pick up so she could get some clarity on the situation. Suddenly the dial tone ended and she heard the crackling of breathing through the speaker.

“Hello, Y/N?”

She smiled and finally set her purse down.

“Hi, Pansy! It’s so nice to finally hear your voice. Are you free to talk?”

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting, I was just sending off this email but now I’m free for a bit, yes. And Jesus, Y/N, is something… up?”

“Oh, nothing… it’s just… the prince really got me gobsmacked today.”

She hears her gasp over the phone.

“Oh my, the prince?! Well then… I certainly wasn’t expecting that. Although, I suppose… it’s not so far off for the prince to bother you when you’re working at the palace...”

“Pansy… that’s beside the point.”

“Yeah, okay, so… what happened? You have to tell me now.”

“I will but you need to promise me you won’t get mad or jealous of me or anything. I didn’t choose to be a part of it.”

“Of course I won’t be mad. Why would I be?”

“Well, you know, your history and… how you were off your trolley about him as a teenager?”

“Oh, bugger off, babe. That’s not even true anyway.”

“Oh, really? I can vaguely recall someone crying and taking care of him for weeks after he was attacked by that bird he harassed in the first place.”

“I was just… overemotional.”

“Right.”

“So what, okay? So what if I liked him for a while? There’s nothing there anymore. Even waking up to him the next day after the… you know what between us, I was just repulsed. And you thought he was fit too! So. And I feel like I only just liked him because I thought my parents would be happy with us together.”

“That’s… fair. But yes, you’re right, I’ll get back to my story then.”

“Yes, please.”

Y/N started to unbutton the collar of her shirt, beginning to feel hot again. She took another sip of her latte.

“Well, basically, I was just sitting in my office, you know, minding my own business, when Mr Royalty just busts in and starts talking to me.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Yeah, I know right? Anyway, he got straight to it and asked me to be his date to the coronation ball.”

“Holy shit! That’s… never mind, but you said no, right?”

“Well… at first, yes. But then...”

“You what? That’s so unlike you, Y/N, come on…”

“I know, okay… I shouldn’t have. I just started to feel bad for him and I... Should I get out of it? I’m thinking I will. It’ll be stressful, won’t it? I just… I don’t know what to do about it, okay? I’m lost. Help me.”

Pansy fell silent for a second and Y/N undid the whole of her button-down, setting her drink down onto a table as she headed into her bedroom to look for a lighter change of clothes.

“You know the first thing I’m going to tell you is you owe him nothing. I know you felt bad for him but he really shouldn’t have asked you that with no context or anything. He was the one in the wrong here for sure. It’s sweet of you to accept his offer but you don’t have to keep up on it if it’s really stressing you out so much. Also, the fact that you accepted such a spontaneous offer makes me a little sceptical of the power play there...”

“You’re right. Also, I think it definitely wasn’t nice of him but he wasn't mean about it or anything. He was definitely adamant but eh....”

She set her phone onto her bed and turned it to speakerphone, opening her wardrobe and taking out a t-shirt and some shorts.

“At the same time… when we look at the positives, they are fairly significant. You’ll likely have to give in… not that many hours in exchange for a pretty fun night. You know the service at royal events is amazing and if you’re literally the date of the guy the event is being thrown for, the King being crowned that night… I’m going to guess you’ll get so much from that. You’ll obviously get some… fame and have to pack on some PDA there and what not but that means free stuff, great clothes, who even knows what else. You’d just have to work extra hard for that time and balance the work, but I thought you said you were done with a lot of the stuff already.”

“That is … true.”

“But you’re not happy with that, are you?”

“You don’t have to say it like that. It’s just… actually I don’t have a counterargument for that. The perks do sound pretty good.”

“Right? But you know, there might be criticism or hate or something you might get.”

“Well… I’ll also get paid to advertise things after that, won’t I? And free things and VIP invites to places I wouldn’t even have been able to enter before.”

“Well, yes, but… maybe that’s something of an exaggeration, you know. Not every brand or group or whatever is that fixated on how much publicity they can get.”

“... I mean, aren’t they?”

“Okay, yes, they are. I think you should do this.” Y/N laughed as she took off her skirt. She sat down on her bed in her underwear, lying down so her head was near her phone.

“This was a very helpful call. Thank you.”

“I do agree, I think I was a huge help.”

“I concur. Again.”

“Thank you! Now, can I request an invitation to the ball as well?”

“Pansy!”

She giggled and sat up, crossing her arms. “Of course I’ll get you an invite, Pans!”

“Great. I was expecting that. I’m not missing you floundering around, having a��� Cinderella moment for the world.”

“A Cinderella moment?”

“You know, getting a chance to dress up like a princess for a night? It’s weirdly literal too, it’s just for the night and then you go back to being normal again. Unless… the prince charming decides…”

“Shush up!” Y/N felt her face beginning to heat up. Not for the second time in one day… She sighed. And… partly because of the same person too.

“I’m sorry, darling. I hope I didn’t say too much there. You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. It’s just a problem I’m starting to recognise with me. I keep getting more aggressive and emotionally charged than I mean to be.”

“I get that… you could try meditation, you know. Or you could join my yoga class, it’s pretty relaxing. The teacher has a nice butt too.”

“Pans!”

“Y/N!”

***

Her evening was fairly relaxed after that. The call with Pansy had seemed to fix the problem. Well, not exactly “fix”, more like change the way she looked at the issue so it felt all the lighter. And it worked pretty much the same. She began to feel so much better about the decision she’d made. After all, even if it was destiny or whatever, she’d been chosen for a reason, right? She’d managed to get Draco’s number off of Pansy. (“ It’s from… way back when so forgive me if he changed his number to get me off his back or some shit. ”) And… on a caffeine high, she had decided to text him almost right away.

Hi, your royal highness!

It only took a few hours but soon she was privy to:

Where did you get this number?

Got it from a friend. It’s Y/N btw :) should’ve said that before.

Oh, right! That makes sense. How’re you doing?

I’m alright, thanks. What about you?

I’m okay.

Listen, I was thinking about what happened today.

And now I’m wondering if we could meet tomorrow? Morning, if possible? It’s urgent.

Y/N squinted down at this message in confusion. What was this suggesting? Was there something wrong? Was he going to retract his offer? She knew there must be some kind of administrative work they’d have to log but was it really that serious already?

Sure, I’ll be free to meet before 9:30.

That is not what I was thinking of when I said morning :(

What, do you wake up at 4 o’clock or something?

No, I meant that that was too early!

She rolled her eyes. She should have seen that coming. He wasn’t exactly known for being put together. Or spiritual, for that matter.

We can call now if you really want.

No, it’s okay. It’s better we talk about it in person. I should try and wake up earlier anyway.

As you wish.

So I’ll meet you tomorrow then. Let’s say, 9 am sharp?

Perfect. I get dropped to the main drop off point at that time anyway.

Great. See you xx

See ya x

Y/N set her phone on her counter and put it to charge for the night. What the fuck? What was happening? The sleep she’d been looking forward to seemed to have suddenly drifted away. What was she going to have to worry about tomorrow morning?! She shifted under her sheets, turning where she lay to face the other side and look out her bedroom window. It was a clear, clear night. If she looked hard enough, she could probably see the edge of the royal estate. But then again, she really didn’t want to. She turned to the other side and just stared at her closet.

She wasn’t sure when her mind got tired of imagining potential disaster scenarios for the next day but Y/N woke up to the sound of her alarm ringing at 6:45 am. She reached over to her nightstand and turned it off, sitting up in bed and looking out the sun already shining bright in her window. It was barely May but the days had already begun to increase in length.

Since she’d woken up with ample time to complete her routine, she did everything she could to pamper herself, spending almost an hour in the bathroom. She even changed into her nicest formal clothes after, a white pantsuit with dark detailing. She packed her work bag with the essentials, her laptop, her water bottle, her royal admin ID, her wallet, stationery and her phone. She felt very prepared for once. Whatever was coming her way would be taken care of as needed.

She had a comfortable trip from her apartment building to the estate, the state-sanctioned car ride feeling a lot less bumpy than usual. It was still just as clear as it was last night, but the car’s windows were tinted so the sun’s rays felt like they barely even touched it. There was only the slightest hiccup when the driver slammed the brakes too hard all of a sudden and made Y/N’s face hit the seat before hers. OUCH!?

It didn’t take very long for the car to get to the palace, stopping at the main entrance pavilion. She didn’t notice anyone there yet and checked the time. It was still only 8:53 am. She had enough time to walk to the administrative wing, leave her things there and come back with time to spare. She walked through the hallway and towards the next hall which she knew led her to-

“Fuck me!” “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Hi, Y/N.”

She had her hand on her heart, trying to slow down her breathing as she looked at the blonde who had bumped straight into her. He had his hands in front of her to catch her if she fell. Thankfully, she had just missed falling.

“What the hell is it with you and giving me heart attacks?”

"I promise you that wasn’t my intention.”

“Well, I’d sure have hoped it wasn’t.”

She sighed and dropped her hand to her side, looking up at him with an eyebrow raised.

“So?”

“So, yes. Um. Can we walk or something? I don’t want to be standing here and have someone walk in on us?”

“... Draco, what do you have planned exactly...?”

She looked up at him quizzically and smirked. He managed a small smile but shook his head.

“God, get your mind out of the gutter! I just mean… this is stressful, okay?”

“Well, I’d like to drop my things off at my office if you don’t mind.”

“Alright, I’ll wait for you by the admin wing’s garden exit.”

“Done.”

***

Y/N had decided to leave her blazer on her chair and all her belongings except for her phone on her desk. Hopefully, Colin was good enough as a guard or she was getting robbed. Either way, she could spot a tall blonde’s head nervously bobbing above the hedge next to the exit. His face was a concerning shade of pink, goodness could only hope he’d put on an adequate amount of sun cream.

“Draco?”

“Yes, hi.”

He managed out, looking toward her walking out now.

“Are you okay? You look… red.”

“I’m fine.”

“I mean, are you sunburnt?”

“Oh…?”

He brought a hand up to touch his cheek.

“No, but that’s a good point. Let’s stand in the shade.”

She stopped where she was and he walked in to meet her. She felt her insides begin to do the jitterbug in anticipation. What could possibly have him so on edge? What was wrong?

“I’m really very sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t exactly thinking very straight when I came to see you. In hindsight, I know it got on your nerves and everything and I should’ve been a lot better at telling you about it.”

“It’s no big deal now, honestly.”

“Okay, but that’s not exactly why I called you. The thing is, there’s going to be a lot of PR work at this ball. I didn’t realise it before but Mother told me she’s arranging a meeting with our publicist for us today. And the publicist is never there just to take the piss. This is serious now. Like, even more than I thought it was.”

“I- what do you-”

“It’ll be very pressing, I would never hold it against you if you decided to pull out.” He stared into her eyes with a pensive expression on his face and Y/N felt whatever response she had been planning just vanish from existence. She pretended to have comprehended everything he said, but could only really think of saying one thing right then… That’s what she said... but that would be inappropriate. He soon got conscious and looked to the side and she felt the cogs in her brain begin to work again.

“The thing is my mother was getting a little impatient with me and telling me it was time for me to tell her who my date for the ball is. My parents have been begging me to find one unless I want to risk an arranged marriage, it’s a long story. So, I told them I’d find a date for myself and that they don’t need to worry. The truth is, I didn’t actually bother to find one and it was starting to get a little late. You know there’s only one month left till... right, you know. So… she came to talk to me about it over lunch and she told me I had to tell her who it was so she could arrange everything for us. I started to think about whom my parents would be okay with me going with and whom I would be okay with and well… you were on top of the list.”

“I’m hoping that’s a compliment.”

“It- it is. I told her your name and she was satisfied with it, I think. And then I was scared she’d come and talk to you immediately so I ran to you first and just asked you about it then. Again, I’m sorry it came out as forcefully as it did. I didn’t mean to… get you stuck in this whole thing.”

He took a deep breath and looked back at her again. Her stomach seemed to begin buzzing as she felt her anxiety grow. This was not going to go as smoothly as she expected, was it? The queen, and most likely the king as well, knew. Although that wasn’t exactly unanticipated, it gave everything a sense of finality. Like, she didn’t have much legroom here at all.

“Anyway, that's what happened. I’m sorry, again.”

He looked at her as if he was waiting for her to yell at him. She wasn’t intending to and just turned to the side, trying to calm her racing heart. She needed to make a decision, didn’t she? And who knows what kind of problems would face her, either way, she decided to go? It seemed like teasing to dangle this lux option in front of her just to draw it away. Draco annoyed her.

Looking at how strangely afraid of her he looked, she couldn’t help but notice how very much he started to look like the Draco she used to know. Little and arrogant and scarily afraid of his parents getting upset with him.

“You’re fine. I… I’m going to need some time.”

“That’s okay. You can take as much time as you need. The problem is, I have no idea when today my mother is going to pull you out for the publicist meeting.”

Y/N huffed slightly and covered her face. So, what was she going to do? What was she going to do?

“I’m in.” She’d set her mind to it, hadn’t she? She’d made a promise to the prince, and his parents knew of it already. She’d already told Pansy she was going for it. Well, all of those things and also the prospect of fulfilling a childhood princess fantasy seemed more enjoyable than anything. There was something so gratifying in that idea, dressing up well and being pampered and showered with affection and just… pretending to be a princess. What could be more fun than that?

“You’re sure?”

The answer was nothing.

“Yes.”

Most likely.

“Well, I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“So do I.”

***

It still hadn’t really sunk in yet that she was actually going to do whatever this would entail. Sure, she’d been dreaming about it the day before but it seemed completely different now. Her gut seemed to be calmer now, signifying that perhaps her intuition hadn’t been completely off guiding her in the direction it had.

What’s sad was Y/N was still lost about this after Narcissa had whisked her away into one of the palace’s many giant bedrooms. She was sitting on the bed, still in her work clothes, stressed after having had to explain to Colin how to decide how accommodations would be settled for the guests and the performers coming. She’d been expecting the meeting with the publicist and Draco to happen but she was lost as to what was taking place right now.

Narcissa approached her with a clipboard and a pen. “Now, dear, I just need you to sign these first.” Y/N took both from her and glossed through the texts.

A non-disclosure agreement and an employment contract…

“I’m sorry, your majesty. Do you mind me going through the documents before signing them?”

“Absolutely not, sweetheart. Though do try to rush, we have appointments we need to get to in time.”

“Thank you, ma’am. Honestly, ma’am, I’m not too aware of legal jargon like this. Could I please ask you to explain the purpose of this agreement?”

“Well, when any…”

She seemed to want to say a word but held it back, twisting her tongue around in her mouth as she thought of what to say.

“Person unfamiliar with our ancestry and our policies gets… involved with a member of the family, we have them sign one of these in order to protect our privacy.”

“I see…”

That seemed very… imperialist of them. She began to skim through the document, trying her best to understand it based on what little knowledge of this she had. It all seemed par for the course except for the last clause.

“I’m sorry again, ma’am. The others make sense to me but this one: 11. Covertness, it’s quite vague, the “other actor”…?.”

“To be transparent, the King and I posed the covertness clause as a protective measure. We don’t need Draco learning about this agreement and growing wary of all of us. We’re doing it to protect him more than anything. You are not to revert any of this portion of our meeting to him and he mustn't ever come to know of this agreement or the contract at all.”

The Queen suddenly seemed scarier than she ever had in all the years she’d known her.

“Well, that’s- I’ll have to think about that for a second.”

She started looking through the employment contract. It was similar to the one she currently held, nothing too special, except for the fact that it detailed that she was entitled to a lump sum of £500,000 at the end of the event, assuming she kept up her end of the agreement. She paused for a moment and just stared at that number.

“Is this a misprint by any chance, ma’am?” The Queen leaned over and looked at where she was pointing, then shook her head.

“No, it is not.”

She took a deep breath. That would be much more than enough to have her set for life and for a private event planning business alongside. It would take her 10 years to even come close to earning as much. She continued reading the document. She was supposed to participate in a few publicity stunts, make it clear “she had good intentions” and was supposed to disconnect from the prince entirely after the affair was over. Those terms didn’t sound too harsh, now, did they? A little acting and ghosting for 500 grand? It didn’t sound like much. Even a real big shot actor wouldn’t get paid half as much for such little work. And the part about her leaving the prince alone after was a little strange, but she supposed it made sense, what with the royals’ obsession with keeping their family all blue-blooded. Draco had been the poster child for that kind of thing growing up. And she likely didn’t have an ounce of it in her.

Why were they even that desperate anyway? This seemed huge. It might boost the prince’s reputation a bit but… what else was there to this? She knew the country was not doing the best in terms of international relations but did this really hold that much weight along those terms? Surely, there was something here she was missing. Regardless, 500,000 quid for a little work and a lot of fun was too amazing an offer to turn down. And so, Y/N signed both papers and handed them back to her. Jesus Christ, Draco’s impulsive decision was about to get her rich. Quick. She certainly hadn’t been expecting this.

She handed the clipboard back to the Queen who smiled and took it back quickly, setting the papers into a folder which she kept in a decorative paper bag. Not a bad hiding place at all. She walked outside for a few minutes, before reentering, followed by a squat old lady well-dressed in mauve and a younger woman wearing similar clothes. The Queen ushered towards either of them and began speaking.

“Madam Malkin and assistant, this is miss Y/L/N, the crown prince’s date to the coronation ball, miss Y/L/N, this is Madam Malkin, the family’s official stylist and designer, and her assistant.”

Y/N raised her hand out for her to shake, and she did so, firmly. “It’s so great to meet you, Madam.”

“Pleasure as well, love.”

She retracted her hand, looked over Y/N’s outfit and began whispering to her assistant.

“Well, to be very honest, I feel we don’t have to worry about my wardrobe as much. I know I probably don’t meet the royal standards but… I was planning on buying this really nice dress online anyway. I could show it to you and have you approve it if that would be fine.”

The Queen looked at her vacantly, her eyebrows raised and her nose pinched in the slightest. Then her expression settled and she exchanged a look with Madam Malkin before looking back at Y/N. Madam Malkin maintained an unamused expression, then began to speak.

“ I hope you know we’re not going to let you just wear a dress you bought online to the ball… We’ll tailor one for you. And your other clothes will be picked from contemporary designers ourselves.”

Y/N just looked at her silently, nodding and blinking slowly in assent.

***

An hour or so of Y/N having to change into various clothes behind a divider and then show them off to the pair of them passed quickly. It was very fun knowing she’d get a bunch of very nice clothes out of this (even custom made underwear so her clothes fit her right over them!), and she thought the royal family was really being very generous with all of this. Lots of money and clothes? There had to be some kind of catch, right? Something that would make this hard to keep up with? What was it? Just the stress of all the work that’d pile up? That didn’t seem like enough. Everything was not going the way she was anticipating. It was going a hell of a lot better. Mostly.

The actual meeting she’d been waiting for all morning was finally occurring. She was seated in a meeting room opposite the Queen and Draco and their publicist. It was weird seeing them like this. It seemed like a strange grown-up parent-teacher conference.

“So, our point is, we need to have you both make it clear to the public that there is a strong relationship between the two of you.”

The redheaded man droned on at the head of the table and Y/N looked over at Draco who glanced at her as well before both turning to look at the man.

“It’s Percy, right? I’m just a little… I’m sorry if I just don’t know my current affairs well enough for this but… why?” Y/N gulped, crossing her arms tightly after asking this question. It was quite bold of her for sure. She could only hope she wasn’t violating anything by asking this. “She’s not wrong.” Draco chimed in, ”You never had to do anything like this, mother.” The Queen smiled but shook her head. “Things just aren’t the same anymore, are they?” She looked over at Percy to continue.

“We now live in a world of social media and tabloids and none of that will work towards the image we need to create.”

Draco seemed to be satisfied with that and just looked at Y/N silently, who could only really do the same at this point. “I’m sorry, again, I… think I’m missing something here. What “image” are we trying to create?”

Percy and the Queen exchanged a long look, where she pursed her lips and shook her head somewhat disapprovingly. She then nodded and he began to speak.

“Miss Y/L/N, to be very frank, the kingdom isn’t doing amazing. In terms of international relations and funding and… most importantly, resources and trading. We’re afraid we’re losing allies and we cannot risk anything. We not only need to increase viewership and publicity of the ceremony and the ball, but we need to raise the reputation of the family and the prince in the public eye. It’s… a trend at King’s coronation balls for royals or other elite families to offer their daughters’ hands in marriage to the crown prince or king. Our prince is bent upon not getting into an arranged marriage and having to reject offers is a lot more publicly disgraceful than you might anticipate. As you might know, the country wasn’t even on speaking terms with one of its neighbours because centuries ago a crown prince rejected an offer for marriage and an alliance with them. We cannot risk having that happen when we’re in as dire straits as we are.”

Y/N could only look up at him with her mouth agape. They were serious. This was why it mattered so much to them. This was why she was being paid to do this. In case they offended an ally or just any other country. Because of the prince’s idealistic desires for romance or whatever it was. Although she couldn’t really fault him for that, his father hadn’t had to do the same and she’d heard the conditions for some of those alliances and the situations they landed themselves in the future were never that positive.

She nodded up at Percy. “I understand. I should probably read a bit more on the news and the family anyway. I tend to avoid it.” Percy barely seemed to notice her response and started to talk about strategies and actions that needed to be taken. The meeting ended with Draco and Y/N agreeing to keep up with their public profiles and maintain a good reputation on them. They were supposed to interact more publicly for the time being while Percy laid out more intricate publicity stunt plans.

As she left the room and started to walk back to her office, thinking about what work she had to do, someone tapped at her shoulder gently. She turned around to see the very same prince that had dragged her into this mess staring down at her.

“Again, I’m sorry.”

Him saying that like this made her feel guilty now.

“It’s- it’s really okay. You don’t have to say that.”

“I feel like I have to. You’re barely getting anything for doing this for us.”

“That’s- that’s not true. I’ll have my fun, won’t I?”

“Well, whatever it is, what I told you yesterday, the offer still stands. I’ll get you anything, I’ll buy you a mansion, whatever you like.”

“Not that I’d ever decline you giving me anything… you really don’t need to. Thank you for the offer, though.”

Y/N bit her lip and smiled up at him, waving him off as he made to leave, pretending like that was really the truth. She watched him as he walked to the other end of the hallway. She was going to have to keep up this lie all the way till the event. It definitely wasn’t going to be easy. She began to clench her jaw, setting a hand on the wall as everything rushed through her head.

This was exactly like Cinderella except she had no evil stepmother or fairy godmother or glass slipper or a prince charming on a quest to find her, just a lump sum, publicised PDA and more acting than she realised. And absolutely no way out of seeing the story through anymore.

a/n: there will be a hell of a lot more draco in the next chapters, stay tuned!

[thescullyphile]

Hi, I have a prompt for you: M&S at a party organized by the gunmen with 80s music and a lot of alcohol. Just two 'drunk in love' fools, enjoying themselves for once (and making out a lot). Have a good day ;)

A/N: This is my first ever prompt, so this made my day! I tried to be faithful to the prompt, but there are a fewww discrepancies, mostly because I know nothing about alcohol OR kissing. Nevertheless, I tried my best to deliver and I hope you enjoy. :D

Invitation

“Miss Dana Katherine Scully,

It would be our great honor to invite you to ‘A Night After His Own Heart’ to celebrate the publication of the 100th issue of The Lone Gunman and to memorialize our late President, John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Dinner and drinks will be provided, please dress according to semi formal guidelines.

Sincerely,

Messrs. John Fitzgerald Byers, Melvin Frohike, and Richard ‘Ringo’ Langly”

Assuming that Mulder was also attending, Scully put her RSVP in the mail without a second thought.

—

Two weeks later, Mulder knocked on Scully’s door in a suit and it felt so much like a date that she blushed. Thankfully, he shattered the illusion by holding up his tie and asking if she knew how to make a Trinity knot (she did).

They went from being perfectly on time to being fashionably late after the ‘Trinity knot trial,’ as Mulder wanted to call it, as if having Scully so close he could smell her perfume wasn’t an event he wanted to replicate. Frohike whistled when he opened the door (password: Lee Harvey Oswald). “Ms. Scully, looking especially divine tonight,” he grumbled, welcoming her with a sweep of his hand. “Oh, hey Mulder.”

The Lone Gunmen’s den was miraculously clean, computer screens flickering with projected candles, a detail Langly was proud of. A cluster of desks had been cleared out in favor of a large wooden table, and Frohike pulled out Scully’s chair with a flourish. A heavenly scent emanated from the back, where she assumed Byers and Langly were, and where Frohike blustered to after she was seated. She was left alone with Mulder, and he looked at her in the faux-candlelight and seemed almost shy. “I don’t know if...” he trailed off and gathered his courage. “I like your dress, Scully, you look beautiful.”

Scully couldn’t quite bite back a smile as she looked down like she was seeing herself for the first time. Her dress was pretty, elegant and off the shoulder in a deep maroon she knew was flattering. “Well, I had to get Frohike a gift, didn’t I?”

Mulder traced her throat with his eyes, and she wondered if he could see the wavering of her pulse point against her skin. “Do I get a gift too?” He asked softly.

Scully looked him in the eyes and opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by Langly entering with the singular largest chocolate cake she had ever seen. “My God.”

“Dinner is served.” Mulder said with entirely too much glee. Scully looked aghast, and he cracked a grin. “Don’t worry, you eat it, not the other way around.”

Scully was torn between a laugh and a grimace, and only settled on a laugh when Byers and Frohike approached with actual food. Mulder’s foot hooked under her chair, distracting her long enough that she didn’t notice three shot glasses being placed in front of her until it was too late. The table was set and alcohol served in what felt like microseconds, and upon seeing her quizzical look, Mulder leaned in to explain. He really didn’t need to be that close. Scully liked it. “In honor of JFK,” he whispered like it was a secret. “Sixty three shots proved a little ambitious, so we just settled on three.” He sounded amused, and with his breath brushing her ear, Scully already felt a little drunk.

Ever prudent, Byers served up lamb chops and mashed potatoes (a favorite of the late President) and they all ate before downing the shots. Mulder’s face wrinkled predictably, not one for hard liquor, and all the Lone Gunman covered up coughs as the alcohol burned through their chests. Then, suitably inebriated, Langly did the honors of carving up the cake. A piece the size of Mulder’s palm (when did that become her unit of measurement?) found its way to Scully’s plate, and she nibbled at it dutifully as Mulder inhaled cake like his life depended on it. She pushed her plate over to him when he finished his slice and he set at it with equal vigor. “I’m impressed, Mulder, you’d make a feral cat proud.” He almost choked on his cake from the unexpected onset of his laugh.

—

The better half of a bottle of vodka later, the giggling of the Gunmen over an apparently funny issue of their self-titled publication, and an odd 80s song playing in the background that Scully couldn’t tell was offensive or not proved the perfect cocktail for Mulder to work up his nerve. He cast a conspiratorial look at Scully, microexpressions turning macro as he leaned in close. “Do you want to dance?”

Both of them were pretending to be more drunk than they were, any excuse to bump into each other was suitable. Mulder pulled her close, fingers interlacing on the small of her back, his spot, while his chin rested on her hair. “Is it just me, or are you shorter than usual?”

Scully huffed and leaned her head against his chest. “My shoes are under the table.”

He hummed thoughtfully and kept them swaying, her stockinged feet slid on the tiled floor as Mulder led them in circles.

Emboldened, Scully looked at Mulder and  leaned up so she could whisper in his ear. “I know this is the boy’s party, but I do have a gift for you.”

Mulder’s heart rate rose. “Oh? And what would that be, Dana Katherine?” he murmured. She shivered at his use of her name and pressed a kiss to his lips. He tasted like chocolate cake and he smiled against her mouth, which would have been endearing if she hadn’t wanted to eat him alive. They broke apart minutes later, breathless and flushed, and Mulder held her close to his body. “I’m never going to let you go.”

[wispandwhispers]

reverse fake dating au

- So my friend on discord mentioned a logicality fake dating au which no one knows that Logan and Patton are dating and my brain ran with it

-Logan and Patton are engaged and they haven't told anyone out of forgetfulness.

-Logan and Patton both work at the same school with Patton teaching Chemistry and Logan teaching Physics

-Because they both work in the same department, they literally work next door to each other

-The rest of the sides are teachers: Virgil does Music Theory, Janus teaches drama, Remus teaches Maths (No, his methods aren't child friendly) and Roman teaches gym

-One day Janus needs to pick up a student from Logan's classroom and sees a bouquet of flowers on his table

-The students aren't even speaking, they're just staring at the flora and occasionally taking notes from the board

-Janus picks up the kid and they just stare at the ground mumbling something inaudible about flowers, handshakes and winks

-He dismisses it and goes on with his day when Virgil grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him furiously screaming how he owes Remus 150 dollars

-"Virgil, can you please explain why you are s-"

"ImadeadealwithRemusthatIcouldgetLoganandPattondatingbytheendoftheyeandRemusisgoing-

-Roman crashes into the staff room and starts screaming

-"How, how does my brother manage to make more progress than my efforts in five months?"

-Janus, now pissed and confused asks them now asks the both of them what exactly is going on

-Roman And Virgil explains the Glasses Gays pact: A bet that started at the beginning of the school year when Logan and Patton first came to the school. Roman elaborates how the bet is basically whoever can get them dating first gets something from the others. The prizes alternate from person to person.

-"You know that Mr Foster and Mr Croft have the right to date whoever they want, you don't even know if they are-"

"Remus snuck some spare flowers into Patton's car. Patton then went out during lunch to buy a vase and in his free period, delivered them to Logan's classroom. Logan simply shook Patton's hand and said thanks for the flowers. Patton said, and I quote: 'Mr Croft you look so adorable while blushing' Patton then fucking winked at him."

-"But you still can't-"

-"Have I mentioned they're roommates?"

-"I'm in."

-From that day out Janus was part of the bet, trying his hardest to get the pair together. He found out that this was much harder than just locking them in a closet.

-They would always open the door for one another, always laugh at the others jokes and when anyone in the group did something to get them together, they still acted like they were friends.

-Like the occasional compliment and flirt now and then but nothing more than that.

-Even the time Remus and Janus banded together to trigger the sprinklers in Logan's classroom so they would have to share a class together, they still acted like friends

-Janus almost lost his sanity seeing them slow dance( It was for the Easter charity event and by some strange methods (Roman and Virgil) the students had said that if they would raise ten thousand for the organisation in order to see Mr Croft and Mr Foster dance.)

-Roman and Janus were talking about their students when Virgil ran into the room.

-"Shit, shit, shit, shit"

-"What Mr Storm?"

-"I was talking to Patton, not even for the bet, just friend stuff you know and he literally fiddle with a ring on his finger. I asked him about it and he explains he's engaged to some dude that's bright and positive and the light of his life and basically his prince. I don't know about you but that doesn't sound like Logan and I don't want to try and fuck with Patton's relationship if he makes him happy."

-Janus slammed his palm against his forehead, he now needed to a refund on those chocolates he'd bought

-Remus didn't have a last period so he decided to go home early, he'd didn't expect to see Patton kissing Logan in the carpark

-He quietly took out his phone, took a photo and sent it to the Pact members

-Getting the picture, Roman, Janus and Virgil panicked, thinking that Patton cheating was there faults, co wrote a handwritten letter to apologise to Patton

-The next day, Logan walks into the staff room with his files in his hands.

-He try's to ignore the sketchy looks he's getting from Virgil, who is at the coffee machine for an extend period of time.

-Out of the corner of his eye, he sees that Logan has the letter addressed to Pat ands starts to panic but is interrupted by the sound of laughter

-He turns around to see Logan doing small giggles to himself as he reads down the letter

-"Oh my gosh, I should of told you guys sooner."

-Virgil cracked his neck round at record speed. "Are you aware of this? Are you actually encouraging Pat to cheat with knowledge of his lover? Are you-"

-"Virgil, I'm Patton's mysterious lover you're talking about."

-"Wait, wa?"

-Logan then goes on to explain that him and Patton have been engaged for one and a half years. They moved here in September to teach and also see if this was a good place to settle down. All the stuff they did for the pact was they weren't that affected by and it just made them love each other harder.

-Virgil with a neutral expression texted the others that all of the Glasses Gays pact was pointless and proceeded to collapse in his chair from exhaustion and relief and just close his eyes

-Logan leaves the wedding RSVP on his folder and gets back for his third period

Taglist for logicality:

@froggydrawslightmode, @patton-cake

Taglist for this :

@does-this-look-logicality-to-you

[pleasedontyellatmeduringseder]

FAQs for Passover Seder aka The Important Information

What is Passover Seder? A Seder is a ritual meal with symbolic foods to celebrate a holiday. Passover is the most common seder celebrated by Jews, but other holidays that incorporate seders include Rosh Hashanah and Tu B’shevat.

What sort of ritual should I expect? We will be reading from the Passover Haggadah, a special prayer book just for Passover. Mine were published by Maxwell House, who give them away for free. The best way seder has been described is religious audience participation. Our haggadot are from 1997, and no we are not changing them, yes we know it is written in very outdated language, and YES you are expected to read and participate, except Hebrew which I, seder leader, usually take over.

What is the meal?? Ritual food?? What are we eating 👀👀 the menu is always the same: nosh and kibbitz with a salmon ball and chopped liver, then during the seder we have matzo, charoseth, parsley with salt water (aka tears), hillel sandwich (matzo with charoseth and horseradish), matzo ball soup (veg option is provided), hard boiled egg, homemade gefilte fish, chicken marbella (veg option is provided), potatoes, salad, and whatever desserts are provided by those who graciously volunteer (in the past we’ve had coconut macaroons, flourless chocolate cake, panna cotta, or flan) and most importantly SHIT TONS of WINE

Do I bring anything? YES every person who comes to seder must bring a bottle of wine for the communal wine table. Not every couple, every single person. If you don’t drink you still need to bring some beverage to participate in drinking of the cups of wine, such as juice or Coke. If you want to contribute a food, that’s great! Please discuss it with me first as Passover has dietary guidelines.

The dining room is so big, but your guest list is large. Am I going to be crammed? You will be making new friends. No you may not save a seat for people, and if you are the first people inside the living room please DO NOT take seats closest to the door or blocking movement through the room. This needs to be easy for everyone to get inside and seated and you are traffic jamming!

What should I do when I arrive?? Well NUMBER ONE don’t you fuckING DARE come into the kitchen “to say hi!” If you see me little feet in there DONT GO IN. I will yell at Ian to come get you and I will not acknowledge your presence. If I’m not in there and you come in to… I don’t know, smell or whatever or look, if I find you in there you will be sternly directed to noshing and kibitzing. You come into the house and go directly to nosh and kibitzing. Don’t save a seat for your friend, make a new one.

What is all this about betrayal, banning, and crimes? Why do people love this so much if you are so mean/yell at them/I am weak?? Not everyone gets invited to seder, you are worthy if you’ve been invited multiple years (or you’re a plus one in which case your partner should prepare you and no I am not sorry for what happens to you). My great grandpa Sam had a saying about people who cannot handle things like seder or getting drunk on Slivovitz when they are a ten year old child, “you are weak.” I spend a lot of money to do this, there is a lot of planning and cooking, I don’t accept help either because I have this down to a science. It is also very stressful and an extremely MAJOR Jewish holiday.

The Crimes With Which You May Betray Me…. All of which have happened in the past and yes I will tell you who did each If you RSVP and straight dont show up. If you cancel after the RSVP date, the day of, or god forbid just before. If you bring someone who wasn’t invited (I don’t care if your friend would love seder, don’t bring them! Don’t even ask!). If you give me an Acceptable Excuse (I’m sick, a person died, I was robbed, car accident) but I found out you lied to get out of going. If you had a plus one and they do any of the above, your plus one AND YOU are banned (because you should know better to tell your plus one that they are being an asshole!!!). If you show up empty handed. If you leave early or arrive late (except for that one time where Ben had to leave early because he got so trashed). <If you’ve got somewhere to be that’s so damn important you couldn’t figure it out ahead of time just say you can’t come! It’s super distracting to get up early/come late. >

Not crimes against me but just plain no no’s I swear to fucking god don’t you come into that goddamn kitchen! If I need your help I will voluntell you to help. Don’t bring a wine and then expect to get it, you’re not getting your wine. This dude you’ve never met is. Accept the wine you get and move on. Don’t bring shitty wine and then hope you’ll drink something better like, what the fuck dude?? If your plus one can’t come DONT take it upon yourself to invite someone, I will take care of that. If you’ve told me you need a vegetarian meal but decide you don’t want that, TFB! Conversely if you’re a meat eater and you want the vegetarian meal, TFB!

Not crimes at all that have happened and were hilarious then and are hilarious now: Ben getting so fucking trashed we now make fun of him every year, showing up in your best drag look, decking me out in lizard Princess drag makeup, playing loud trap music to “get the party started”, Bailey climbing under the tables to go to the bathroom, a plus one not bringing wine and instead bringing a handle of Woodford and asking “is this ok instead” (it super was), wearing your mom’s Dior couture and judging us for being casual, eating too much during nosh and kibitz then being too full for the meal, sitting too close to the candles and lighting your Haggadah on fire, cutting your hand open and getting blood everywhere (guilty), doing drunk splits in the yard and making everyone touch your “rock hard ass” (guilty), cutting yourself on Nathaniel (guilty). There’s probably more but tbh this is the eighth seder so I can’t remember everything.

What about COVID? Every person invited is vaccinated, but I’m not going to make people mask up because tbh I trust everyone coming to make smart decisions. You can be masked if you want, but it and testing ahead of time are optional. However fear of contracting COVID not an acceptable excuse for last minute cancellation. If you are worried just say you aren’t comfortable and RSVP on time, but cancelling post RSVP date is never ok.

[sebastianshaw]

Meme from "Broad City" quotes

“You said if you were ever going to do same sex experimentation, it was going to be with me.”

"Who would you rather go down on you? Michael Bublé or Janet Jackson?”

“Can Janet Jackson go down on me while Michael Bublé narrates it in song?”

“What’s an Arch de Triumph?”

“It’s when two dudes go down on us, is how I picture it, and they’re butt to butt and then you and I do Oprah hands.”

“I really don’t feel like going into work today.”

"Great, I’ll see you in 30 days then. . . biiiiitch.”

“Maybe your dad should have pulled out.”

“I need someone for the amazing race because my mom just pulled out.”

“I also have business with the bank. I’d like to cash these nickels, and I’ll have them in quarters, please. Thank you so much.”

“I’m a sexual X-Man. I’m Wolverine. I’m Vulvarine!”

"Oh my Lady God, thank you!"

“The vagina is nature’s pocket. It’s natural and responsible.”

“I would take you on my shoulders – like I’d strap you up and be like, ‘Let’s go through helllll.’”

“I’m not sexually aroused, I’m fiscally aroused.”

“That’s literally a one stop pussy shop. I love it!”

“I finally figured out my eyebrows, They’re sisters, not twins.”

“Four R’s, my friend-- Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rihanna.”

“Statistically we’re headed toward an age where everybody’s going to be, like, caramel and queer.”

“I’m an adult and I’m responsible. Let’s go get some candy.”

“I finally masturbated above the covers without my eyes being closed.”

“I just want to get home and watch my shows.”

"You just pulled a bag of pot out of your vagina."

"Do you ever get hair from your head stuck in your buttcrack in the shower?"

"I'm still not over Amy Winehouse."

"I can't really imagine what it's like for people with blue eyes."

"This isn't a sugar daddy thing. This is just an old established guy paying for his younger friend who he also has sex with kind of thing."

"You're like 12, right?"

"I love me some dumplings. It's like a squirrel clutch with a meatball in it."

"I was so worried I baked a whole cake and then I ate a whole cake."

"In da clerb, we all fam."

"I know you from your ass better than I know your face."

"I respect you respecting me."

"You know what's cool about this party? We're the sexiest girls here."

"I'll pick up your poop. You're worth it."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

"You got beauty. You got brains. You're a fucking genius. Do you wanna kiss?"

"You look sexy and vivacious and artsy and, like, young-wife material but, like, taut and teasy still. It's a perfect combo."

“Witches aren’t monsters, they’re just women! They’re fucking women who cum and giggle and play in the night. And that’s why everybody wants to set them on fire ‘cause they’re so fucking jealous."

"YAS KWEEN!"

“I AM NOT A MOM!”

"You never know if you never try and if you never try you never know."

“I’m only 27, what am I? A child bride?”

"You have been busting my balls all day over a sahaaaandwich shahooppe?!"

"I don’t watch anything but solo porn because regular porn is like, “Shut up, little girl! Wash my feet!” And she’s like "uhhh don’t tell my dad ok? Because I’m just barely legal. I love shaved pubes and tanned, crispy bellies and taints.” It’s like ugh!"

"I don’t have any money. I’m a wittle baby."

“Buckle up, buttercup”

"Money is a mind control technique that used to quantify the progress of the patriarchy!"

"Nose, vagina, butthole. If God didn’t want us to put our fingers up then then why did She make them perfectly finger sized ?"

"I’ll see you when u wake up, and if you don’t wake up I’ll still see you cause I’m gonna kill myself and meet you in heaven or whatever.”

"If you train your eyes, you can see their religion”

“I know it’s like “pwease Mr. Cwusty old white man, can I pwease keep my ovaries?” Alright bitch you better vote, text me when you do”

“I mean we had been together how long, and I still never saw nipples?”

“OOPS I guess I don’t know my own strength”

“Pillows are nature’s packing peanuts!”

“The student has become the teacher!”

"This is some high class shit."

"It's 2014. Anal is on the menu."

"Where ISN'T the bathroom?"

"I was cyberbullied within an INCH of my life last night"

“I saw your tweets and I wanted to check you out but I also wanted to respect your space”

"I am going to respect your dick later."

“You’re my lil cupcake”

“I once ate a corn on the cob. Including the cob”

"Ugh, who YELLS?"

"GET OFF THE BALLS AND GO!"

"Wanna get, like, a bunch of hot dogs?"

"Did you draw that painting?"

“You have to swipe yaas, you can’t swipe naas.”

“I fucked you in the ASS the first night we did ANYTHING. I think that’s pretty fuckin mature."

"Well aren't you a hot diggity dog and a scalawag to boot?"

"In the club, we are all family. Are you racist?"

“Welcome to Florida, America’s droopy dick”

"This is the men's room. Uh DOIIII!"

“You’re so full of shit I need a plunger."

“Thank you SO much for calling me a star”

"I'm an adult. I should be buying my own pot."

"Coat racks AREN'T for babies!"

"My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot. But my biggest strength is that I always get it back."

"I like to call it jazz becomes it comes out of my horn, and you never know where it's gunna go."

"White people do that dog thing. Black people don't make out with dogs."

"Next thing you know you're pregnant with his sperm and he's sanding down your headboard shirtless."

"We are garbage people living on garbage island!"

"I didn't know you had a veneer and I'm in that mouth on a regular basis."

"I'm not putting weed up inside of me because I'm an adult and I'm responsible."

"I really think you should put your weed in your front hole."

“We’re technically homeless right now.”

"Your ass looks incredible."

"Your ass looks incredible. Your head and body too. But we all know who’s the star of the show here.”

“Who am I? Honey, I have a cyst on my uterus and I need to get fucked until it pops.”

“You want me to FaceTime from the bathroom?”

“Dude, I would follow you into hell, brother!”

“Well, you are funny.”

"Animated movies are where it's at. They're like visual crack."

"All Hollywood media is porn, and all porn is kiddie porn. We live in a rape culture. We just do."

"Who would leave weed in a wall? A weed genius. And she'd leave it there indefinitely in case of emergency."

"Isn't it nuts that pickles were cucumbers? They're the trans people of the vegetable community."

"We are an incredible team and I love you."

"Smart and sexy. She is unreal, this girl."

"I've been overeating this week."

"How DARE you LIE to your WIFE?!"

"Do I or do I not have herpes?"

"Follow your third eye--your clit."

"It's my birthday, I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

"I mean, the female form---God's hottest creation."

"You have to respect the sanctity of the RSVP."

"Okay, something seems very locked up inside of you."

"You have a way of tainting everything I love."

"I'm gonna be like a successful artist any day now."

"Yeah, I don't wanna rise and grind anymore. I wanna rise and then like lay back down."

"It's like we knew it would happen but we didn't do anything about it."

"ADRENALINE!"

"To be honest, I'm really happy with the way I look."

"WANNA FOOK?"

"Never have I ever read a newspaper."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

[zebrabaker]

The Goddess of Life, The King of Death: Chapter 10

I LIVE!

They had been in the palace for five days, five very busy days. Altogether, they had had maybe an hour to relax together. Allegra, Claude, and Allain were busy as well, running back and forth between the underworld and the heavens, trying to make sure that everything was still running while Persephone and Felix were making last minute wedding plans.

The dress Persephone had brought with had kept her up every night, sewing by the light of enchanted lanterns. It would be exquisite, but it was taking far too long to finish. At this rate, it would be done the night before the wedding, but only just. She pricked her finger for the thirteenth time in the last hour and cursed, shoving the ichor-coated digit into her mouth. Once she was sure the ichor had stopped, she carefully inspected the pearlescent lace to ensure it wasn’t stained.

Persephone heaved a sigh and slowly stood from where she had been seated on the floor. She had been given a side room to work on the dress in, so that if Felix stopped by, he wouldn’t accidentally see the dress. It would be perfect, if she could finish it. Yawning so hard her jaw let out a satisfying crack, she stretched out her arms and made her way to her bedchambers to get some sleep. She only had a few hours till dawn, and she had another busy day ahead.

X0X0X

Dawn came far too early. It felt like she had only just closed her eyes when there was a knocking at her door.

“’Sephie?” Allegra’s voice called. “It’s time to get up, we need to discuss seating plans, and the menu, and of course the music. I know you have the first dance song picked out, but there’s a great deal left to do, and we only have two days!” Persephone let out a mighty groan as she sat up, rolling her neck and stretching her shoulders. She was desperately in need of a hot bath to sooth her sore muscles, but right now she hadn’t the time.

“Be out in ten, Allegra!” She called back, trudging over to her wardrobe. She shoved a few dresses aside before settling on a gown Felix had given her as a gift. It had dozens of intricate beads on the bodice and along the top of the sash around the waist. It was a rich shade of eggplant, with delicate cap sleeves and a small slit on each side of the A-line skirt that revealed her favorite shoes. Her and Allegra had developed a habit of visiting markets around the world to see what the humans had created now. This pair was Grecian, a set of sturdy sandals that wrapped around her calves several times, reaching her knees. They were surprisingly comfortable and made her legs look great. She checked her reflection one last time in the mirror, nodded, and headed into the hall.

“There you are!” Allegra cheered. She was wearing a lovely shade of aquamarine that made her eyes pop, and a snake arm cuff that she recognized from some Roman booth they had visited a few weeks ago.

“Sorry, I was up late working on the dress again.” Persephone sighed. “Please tell me you have – “

“Coffee from the kitchens, completely black?” Allegra giggled, holding up a massive mug. Persephone kissed her best friend on the cheek and took the bitter drink, sipping slowly. While Persephone drank her coffee darker than the deepest pit of Tartarus, Felix took his with three pumps of nectar, extra whip cream, and ambrosia sprinkles. It came from early mornings in the bakery, helping her parents before Noroo had even raised the sun. She had learned that the more bitter the coffee, the more energy it granted.

“You are the best friend I could ever ask for, Allegra!” Persephone sighed after downing half the mug. “Now, what did we have to do today? We have the dessert handled, and Felix says that the boys all have outfits planned. What else is needed?”

“Like I said, we need to finalize the menu with the chefs, make seating plans for the reception, and the music aside from the first dance. Come on, we have the same sitting room as the other day set up and ready to go.” Persephone nodded, and the two took off down the winding corridors of the palace.

X0X0X

It had been six hours, but everything was finalized. The seating plan had taken the longest; between where to sit her family so that people wouldn’t realize who she was till after the ceremony and trying to make sure that none of the Underworld family would be placed by someone who held any grudges (Claude tended to prank the wrong people). But it was all done, down to the smallest detail. The muses would be providing music for everyone, the dinner plans had been made (guests would choose between beef or fish, green beans or broccoli, side salads or soup, and there was rolls from the bakery and cake for everyone), and the seating arrangement was finally done. Persephone was sagging. Who knew planning a wedding was so complicated?

“Sephie!” Allegra called, snapping her fingers in front of her friend’s nose. Persephone startled and blinked rapidly at her friend. Allegra giggled a little, before pulling her up from the arm chair she had slumped in. “A certain someone is here to take you to lunch.” Perking up, Persephone looked over to the door to see Felix standing there, smiling at her.

“Hello, dearest.” He said.

“Hey, love.” She murmured, crossing the room to press a small kiss to his lips. He hummed and set a hand on her waist, as if to ensure himself she was real. “What’s this about lunch?”

“I may have set up a small surprise for you. Come on, it’s this way.” HE gently guided her, keeping her close to his side. She smiled, and began to run him through the plans they had made. Felix and the boys had been in charge of double checking the guest list and the RSVPs, to ensure they had enough for the number of guests attending. It had also been up to them to plan security and entertainment. She only hoped that they hadn’t gone too overboard. After a few minutes of walking in content silence, he stepped away from her and spun around, holding out a hand. Persephone didn’t recognize the area they were in; it was part of the palace she hadn’t had time to explore.

“Ready dearest?” He asked, setting one hand on the door handle. “I need you to close your eyes. Trust me?”

“Always, love.” She smiled and set her hand atop his as he flung the door open. She gasped at the sight laid out before her.

The doors lead to a massive interior garden, with a stunning white gazebo in the center. There was a small floating string quartet, playing a gentle melody, encompassed in a golden aura. Set in the middle of the gazebo was a small round table and chairs, with a simple yet delightful looking meal. It, all in all, was an exact replica of the place they had their weekly date night in the Underworld, in the small grotto she had made her first day there.

“Oh Felix!” She murmured. “This is perfect! It’s exactly what I needed. I’ve been so stressed, and this is so lovely!” He stepped up behind her, pressing his chest to her back and wrapping her in a tight hug.

“I know, dearest. I saw how hard you’ve been working, and I can’t tell you how overjoyed I am that you agreed to marry me in the first place. I know that tradition says we can’t see each other tomorrow, so I decided we needed to spend all of this afternoon together. Allegra, Claude, and Allain are handling the last minute details, so we are completely free.”

“I love you so much, My King.”

“I love you too, my king.“

@kuroko26 @crazycookie13o @princesskitomi @miraculous-of-salt @luluthorn @phantasmagoricalzenith @ginamariepotterhead @mikantsume @miraculousl4dybug @our-cool-jenny @myownworldstayout @lunatheenemy @bluerose-deer @tinybrie @itawonka-creates @saltynexus @pan-cakez @lady-charinette @tis-i-beanbandit