#please review omg

[aroadcalledsobriety]

Here's to Us | A Stranger Things FanFiction

Chapter 2

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Flickering lights and a blonde with a nose bleed sends Joan Destiny back in time to 1985 as Joan Agatha, supposedly her aunt whose existence she had never heard about before. A fan of Back to the Future and Doctor Who, Joan knows how changing the course of the future could end for her, so she decides to act the part - no matter how hard it can be. Between Russians, drug dealers, and interdimensional monsters Joan is left with one question...

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴊᴏᴀɴ ᴀɢᴀᴛʜᴀ? ¿ɐɥʇɐɓ∀ uɐoſ oʇ pǝuǝddɐɥ ʇɐɥM

24 May 1985 Hawkins, Indiana

When Joan woke up the first thing that hit her was the headache.

The second thing was the blinding realization that oh my god she's alive followed by a spaz-attack where she grabbed every part of her body and then finished at her throat, sighing a relief that she was fully intact and fell back on the grassy ground to calm down with the warmth of the sun on her skin.

Only to sit back up again in a panic.

Joan was almost positive that Hawkins had been nearing winter when she had last been awake with crunchy leaves already on the ground and dozens of assignments piling up amongst her classes. Anxiously, the girl stood up and brushed off her skirt, scowling that of all the days for something weird to go down she had to look so stupidly proper.

"Joan? Joan?!" 

"Grandma?" Joan asked in confusion looking behind her at the voice and pushing herself off the ground to trek over. The familiar home from the 70's on a hill filled her vision within a few seconds and she frowned, pausing with a weird feeling crawling up her back. "Where are her roses...?"

The screened back door quickly slammed open and Joan's eyes widened in shock at the woman who eyed her in relief. "Oh, good heavens Joan! You gave me a scare. You know I don't like you hanging in those woods alone."

Her mouth bobbed open and closed, but Joan could speak no words. The woman in front of her looked just like her dad's mom but from, like, 30 years ago! 

"O-oh, what the fuck." Joan whispered in horror, taking a step back and looking at her grandma stare at her in concern. "T-this is really trippy."

"Joan Henderson, are you high right now?!"

"Woah, Joan's high? I want to see, I want to see!" Out from behind Joan's grandma pushed out a face that Joan had only seen in pictures. A chubby face and curly hair that she was always envious of and mischievous eyes that never changed throughout the decades...

"Dad?!"

There was a silence at the exclamation and the two familiar yet unfamiliar Henderson's stared wide eyed at the teen girl as if she had sprouted wings ands started flying. Dustin, her dad, broke first as a wide grin filled his face and he pointed over at the girl.

"Holy shit, you're high as a fucking kite, Jo'!"

"What the fuck, no I'm not!"

"Uh, yeah the fuck you are!"

"Dustin Joseph Henderson and Joan Agatha Henderson!" The matriarch screeched out, appalled at the language and behavior from the two teens. Both of them flinched at the sound and looked back at the woman apologetically.

"S-sorry, mom."

"Sorry, uh-?" Joan trailed off, unsure what to say because there was no way in hell this was her dad... at least not yet, right? What the fuck was going on?!

"You two... I swear..." Mrs. Henderson huffed angrily, pointing inside with a manicure finger and glaring at both teens harshly. "Inside, both of you. Dinner is ready and the table is set..." 

Joan followed Dustin inside hesitantly, quickly catching up to her dad(?) who nudged her as soon as they were inside and away from the woman. She frowned down at the mischievous grin, not sure what he was up to. What was she supposed to call him?! "What... do you want?"

"Was it weed?"

"What?"

"Did you smoke weed?" Dustin asked again, this time finishing his sentence by grabbing a fistful of the girl's cardigan and pulling it to his nose with a rather aggressive sniff. He frowned, looking at the fabric in confusion. "You don't smell like weed..." He went in for another sniff, but the fabric was ripped from his grip by a scowling Joan.

"Jesus- stop that!" Joan hissed out, pushing her -whoever the fuck he was- away from her. Whoever this kid was to her... he was not her dad and she didn't care if it was the Queen as a kid... all kids were little shits. "What grade are you in again, third?!"

"Eighth, actually." Dustin responded matter-of-factly with a little lisp, unbothered by the act of aggression and rolling his eyes at the question. Joan nodded, storing the information in her head for later while wiping her nose with her sleeve.

Dustin frowned, stopping in front of his usual chair at the table and staring over at Joan with narrowed eyes, examining her with a wickedly familiar gaze that she'd get whenever her dad was deep in thought, before gasping in horror.

"What?! Is there a spider or something?!"

"Cocaine!"

"What?!" Joan cried out in shock, pausing her search to stare across the table incredulously at the little shit that would one day be her dad. "Cocaine?!"

"Oh sweet Jesus, my sisters a drug addict." Dustin's eyes were still wide, but his voice was even as he grabbed his head and shook it in disbelief. "I shouldn't be shocked, but I am. Why am I shocked?"

"Why are you-?! Shouldn't be shocked? Sister-?!" Joan's brain whirled around quickly, the new information almost overwhelming her as the word sister bounced around in here mind and she stared at her brother? Dad didn't have a sister... right? "Hold on.. drug addict?!"

"And she's still denying that she has a problem... this is an absolute tragedy equivalent to Hamlet."

"Hold on, pause, back it up... what did you just say?"

Dustin cleared his throat and raised his voice, slowing his words down to a point where Joan's eye twitched in annoyance. "You... are... sad... like... Hamlet... which is a play about-."

"Yes, I know what Hamlet is about!"

"Brevity is the soul of wit." Dustin responded with a shrug of his shoulders and Joan scowled, her fist clenching in anger. 

"Did you just call me stupid?! From a Shakespeare play?!"

"No, I said-"

"Enough you two." Their mother snapped as she joined the table and patted the wooden surface. Both teens immediately shut their mouths and looked at each other, slowly taking their seats and silently passed the food around.

Joan stole glances at her... brother-dad? she winced at the title, trying to rid herself of the thought as a distant tune of Sweet Home Alabama played in her mind. God, what did Kaleigh do to her? She paused her scooping of carrots in horror as she thought about the fate of the others that were with her. 

Did they escape? Were they here with her? Were her children okay?!

"Joan!" Joan jolted up in her seat at the call of her name, snapping over with wide eyes to look at her suspicious, yet worried mother staring at her. "Are you going to pass the carrots or continue staring at them like they're going to jump out at you and eat your face?"

The teen swallowed thickly and passed the carrots in response, her mother's frown deepening and her eyes narrowing. "Are you sure you're not under the influence, Joan because I swear-!"

"She hath more hair than wit." Dustin snickered under his breathe as he scooped a spoonful of food into his mouth and stared over at his sister with dancing eyes. His joy didn't last for too long as a kick to his legs caused him to wince and let out a painful, "Oh, shit!"

"I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands." Joan hissed out, causing Dustin to look over at his sister with a snarky grin. 

"I told you you were a nerd too!"

A nerd, too?! 

"What does that mean, you twerp?!"

Dustin waved his hands in the air mockingly, his voice going up a horrendous amount of octaves to imitate Joan's voice. "Oh look at me, I'm Joan Henderson. I'm a cheerleader and I'm too cool to do D anymore. Instead I wave pompoms and pretend like I don't have Lord of the Rings quotes all over my walls. And apparently do drugs! Bleh bleh."

"I'm not a vampire you dork." Joan snorted, even though the imitation was supposed to be an insult, it was hilarious to watch a young version of her dad pretend to be a cheerleader. Plus, it gave her much need information about who his sister was... who she was? "What was the bleh bleh for?"

"You know, when you guys have the dumb shaky things and go bleh bleh before you guys turn into violent monsters, and suck the life and fun out of everyone."

"That's kind of... violent."

"Well, cheerleaders are a different species."

Joan's head shot back as she let out a huge laugh, thinking about what Brynnyn would say to that comment. The brunette agree full heartedly, but the raven-haired girl would have shot out of her seat to passionately rant about the sport of cheerleading.

"Alright you two, settle down and finish your dinner." Their mother rolled her eyes fondly, enjoying the light atmosphere with a smile on her face. "Joan, honey, would you make sure to get a new bag of cat food from the garage?"

"Why can't Dustin do it?" Because I have no idea where it would be!

"Because its Dusty's turn to do dishes."

"Oh, come on!" Dustin wined loudly, hitting his head on the table in disappointment. The boy was quickly reprimanded and then the dinner table was relatively calm and relaxed while Joan tried not let herself freak out on the outside as much as was on the inside. 

Each question she asked was crafted to get as much information out as possible, disguised as lightly versed insults, concerned daughter, and/or genuinely curious. It was hard, so when Joan made it to the garage alone with the door shut, she lifted a hand over her pounding heart and swallowed thickly. 

"To recap." She started slowly while pacing behind her mother's car in tune with the racing thump thump thump inside her chest. "I am Joan Agatha Henderson. Not Joan Destiny Henderson. My brother is now my dad and is significantly younger... my mother is my grandmother. I've travelled in time somehow to Hawkins in the 80's back when all that shit went down."

A pause. Joan's face went white at another terrible feeling.

Her dad never mentioned a sister. Her grandmother never mentioned a daughter. Joan was named Joan after someone significant in her dad's childhood, but that was all the information she was given to the point she was almost positive she was named after Joan Jett. 

Worst of all she was a cheerleader, a species she was unfamiliar with besides her interactions with Brynnyn who if it wasn't for her talents would probably not be on the team for social reasons alone. 

"I'm going crazy." Joan decided with a nod, looking over the shelves for the cat food. "I fell asleep drink chocolate milk again. There's no way I'm actually here in the 80's with my dad for a brother and possibly possessing a body that isn't mine."

The nail in the coffin was the moment Joan stepped into her bedroom she was going to be sick. The walls were a Pepto Bismal disaster with posters of artists she didn't know and Polaroids of people that she didn't recognize. Glancing over at the only familiar decorations being the aforementioned book quotes, she walked over to her desk to see if there were any more clues on who Joan Agatha Henderson was. Swallowing thickly, Joan grabbed a lose Polaroid on her desk and stared at the cheek-kissed individual, her stomach dropped and eyes widened comically at the image. 

Oh my God, was that her and Uncle Steve?!

[battywitch]

Hey. Listen. No really, look at me and listen, please.

Cast iron and stainless steel cookware are not like non-stick. They require different methods of cleaning, and there IS a learning curve.

Unless you've been taught how to use them, when you first try, you're probably going to have a rough time. Maybe your food sticks or burns, idk.

That is NOT a sign that your cookware is defective. Ignore whatever the packaging said about it being non-stick. Yes, with time and practice, you'll have far fewer instances of things sticking, but if your good sticks at first, stay calm.

You need to practice and look for tips based on your exact issue (eg, food burning) and type of cookware (eg, cast iron).

Also, you probably need oil.

[widevibratobitch]

my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant

[greatwritenorth]

GWN Reviews: Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu 5 out of 5 Stars

I discovered this "book" when it was just a web comic here on tumblr, so I know that there is tons of people out there who already understand everything that is sweet, and pure and perfect about this series. So I'll keep my review short and sweet.

After years of meaning to get to buying this in graphic novel form, so I could support the author, I finally did, and finally got around to rereading the first installment, and it was everything I remembered it to be. If you haven't read it yet, please do, because it is perfect.

[i-eat-worlds]

Your content is whumptastic! Allow me to introduce myself. I am 5 croissant anon, giver of croissants in groups of five, and I must say, you are worthy of all of them!

-the 5 croissant anon

✨️🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐✨️

🥹

Thank you anon!

[ballroomnotoriety]

started reading our share of night and it is. hmm. trashy. did section 1 today and it had a similar flavor as nosleep creepypasta, which is completely fine but not exactly the more refined vibe the reviews gave off. it's like the difference between a skillfully done body squick scene that makes you want to crawl out of your skin in a horror movie vs a schlocky gore fest that paints the walls red. i think we are trying to achieve grrm level of Fucked Up and overreaching, which is a shame bc some of the things mentioned offhandedly (Argentinian revolution) are significantly more disturbing than satanic panic daydreams. also i think this translator did a clunky job unless the author also ate a thesaurus.

i will of course be finishing it unless it bores me (it's trying really hard to bore me).

[yikes077]

I am aware that Apple TV is an expensive money grab to try and fulfill some gap in Apple’s massive banking numbers, and yet I cannot help but enjoy it. I know, I am nothing more than a minecraft pig following my capitalistic golden carrot in a stick in front of me, but this shit is good.

Something about actors I love, well written characters, interesting plots, and mind blowing sets and costumes that really brings me in. My wifi isn’t really working, so the show was stopping every 10 seconds, but even with that I was deeply investing in Lessons in Chemistry. I love Brie Larson, I was blown away by the way the writers were able to capture my attention with just two episodes of Elizabeth and Calvin’s romance (honestly guys it was so cute) I might even try to read the book.

Like the shows I’ve seen on the platform are just good shows. I want to critique them, I want to find issues (what can I say, I enjoy my pessimism) but I really can’t. The two shows that have really stood out to me are Lessons in Chemistry and Ted Lasso. The way these shows mesh well known actors with fresh faces, the well researched and well done sets, and in character costuming, and the WRITING.

All of the dialogue that I have seen has felt so real, so natural in a way that Netflix could only dream of curating. The way the sorry ebbs and flows is just so good, it feels natural in a way so few shows I’ve watched cannot seem to emulate. Just OOOOOO!!

This post has no real point to it, other than watch some shows from Apple TV (I do make a push for pirating it - do not give Apple your money like my parents have). I just really want people to talk about these shows with.

[elftwink]

lots of discussion on the dash as of late about trying to get people to switch from dnd to other systems (filled with ppl saying correct and true things. this is not a criticism), but relatively little recommending specific games or systems. well be the change you want to see in the world is what they say, so to anyone looking to branch out but not sure where to start, i would like to recommend my all time favourite ttrpg:

SPACE TRAIN SPACE HEIST

here's the little itch.io blurb (or the important part anyway): "A high-octane, single session, GM-less, Forged In The Dark, goof of a game for 3-5 players about space robbing a space train."

the number one reason i recommend this one is that it's very easy to learn no matter what system you're used to or if you have ever played tabletop at all. the rules are quick and very clear, it only uses one type of dice (a d6, the one basically everyone has at least in some board game or another). i have played this game with people who have only ever played dnd, and i have played it at a board game night with 0 ttrpg players. the game recommends 3-5 players but ive played up to seven and with some effort i think you could also play with only two.

another reason: it's gmless, and it has ZERO prep (besides maybe reading the rules, but i read them for the first time while learning to play with a group, so its not THAT important). to me this is one of the major sticking points of trying to make a dnd group: deciding who is the dm and then relying on that person to prepare a session. while i love dming, sometimes you just also want to be a player for a bit. well now we're all players!

(there is a facilitator role that's explained at the back of the rulebook, if you want, and if your players are a bit nervous to play totally gmless. but tbh, i will say i often SAY i will facilitate and then change nothing about how i would play besides reminding people of the rules and making sure everyone gets a chance to speak, both things that by the end of the game other players are usually doing of their own volition to help each other along. often, especially with otherwise experienced players, it's a little intimidating to go without a gm because of convention, not because they aren't capable of doing it. they always are!)

the mechanics and theme encourage you to be as ridiculous as possible (with playbooks like space wizard, where you can cast any spell but only once before you forget it forever, or egghead, where you're completely useless on purpose except for one specific and critically heist related expertise; train cars filled with escher staircases; and npcs who are extradimensional dragons or intergalactic popstars. or who run a junkyard. yeah on the train in space), and when i play i try to emphasize that the only win condition is that the players have fun and the story be interesting and funny. while i don't want to just Explain All the Rules (i want you to download the pdf from the game designers that does that), i will tell you about what i think is the best one:

when you make an action roll, you roll a number of d6s based on a few conditions. the first and most important of those conditions is "describe what you do in cinematic detail". to me this is actually what makes this game so fucking great. one of the parts i always find difficult to handle with games like dnd is preventing slog. you know, when youve been in combat for awhile and at each turn the player is like "Well. im gonna use my greatsword." then they roll and they go "oh cool i hit" (<- completely deadpan voice and expression) and you the dm says "ok you did x amount of damage" and they go cool. turn over. BORING. now there's lots you can do as the dm to prevent this, but they rely on you the dm trying to prevent this. or coming together as a table and trying to find ways to prevent it together.

in space train space heist, in order to even roll in the first place, you are required to get descriptive!!! you can't say "well i hit him with a fireball" (a thing you can absolutely do in space train space heist, btw, as long as you're playing a space wizard), you have to go more like "i move my hands in a circular motion and start chanting an incantation and from my palms comes a great BLAST of fire that shoots across the room and i want to explode the security robot into a gazillion pieces" now THATS cinematic detail!!! and all that extra detail has the added bonus of making it that much easier for other players to work in where their character is, what they're doing, and what the group needs to do next. it makes it so much easier to get into the roleplay, and imo is such a beautiful way to work it into the mechanics, and it's SO much easier to involve players who are otherwise really nervous or uncertain about roleplaying

obviously it's very different mechanically and thematically from dungeons and dragons. to me this is part of why i think dnd players should give it a try; often dnd players branch out only to very similar games, and while i do think you should chase your bliss (and i have nothing against games like say pathfinder. would love to play it someday myself lol), i think space train space heist can show you just how wide and varied ttrpgs actually can be. and although i myself still continue to play dnd 5e and probably will for the forseeable future, i think my experiences playing space train space heist have exponentially improved how i handle dnd games and how i think about making it fun for everyone.

the game is $5 USD. if you aren't able to afford that, no worries because there are currently around 69 thousand community copies available for you. and if you bought the ttrpgs for trans rights itch.io bundle awhile ago you already own it! pleaseeee give it a go all you need is 2 friends, a few six-sided dice, and to get a little silly with it

[speckle-the-crow]

Every time I read a book by Fredrik Backman, I'm left speechless. !!!LONG RANT BELOW!!! + my reviews of the books I've read by him

It all started one year when the book "A Man Called Ove" was chosen to be read in my bookclub. The teacher was talking about how he has a different style of writing and I'm like oh alright bet let's try it out.

GOD. That book was a solid 10/10. It touched dark topics like death and suicide while also having a good humor. The chapter with the cat being almost frozen to death had me giggling a little too much 😂 I loved seeing it on screen when the movie came out.

So many good quotes were in this book. Especially between Sonja and Ove. “You only need one ray of light to chase all the shadows away,”  “But if anyone had asked, he would have told them that he never lived before he met her. And not after either.”  “Of all the imaginable things he most misses about her, the thing he really wishes he could do again is hold her hand in his.” 

This book was just so amazing. I have nothing bad to say against it and strongly recommend it to be the first book one should read by Fredrik. It shows the dark themes he touches while having humor, how good the flashbacks are shown. How they leave you with more questions until you're gut-punched.

Alright. Second book I've read was Beartown. I got it as a birthday gift along with Anxious People (I'll talk abt that later). I knew Beartown revolved around the topic of rape. But god, it was still a hard read. Watching a small town get torn apart over the drama, how nobody really believed Maya and she was even bullied for lying. It broke my heart, leaving me in tears.

The worst part? How real this felt. How it's probably happened to countless girls and guys before. Being raped but not believed, then being bullied and harassed.

The quotes hit hard in this too. "It's not always obvious, because the people around a bullied child assume that he or she must get used to it after awhile. Never. You never get used to it. It burns like fire the whole time. It's just that no one knows how long the fuse is, not even you." “Everyone has a thousand wishes before a tragedy, but just one afterward.”  “What you create, others can destroy. Create anyway. Because in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and anyone else anyway.” 

I don't have too much to say on this book as it was an extremely hard read and took me about a month to finish. But it was still a great story. I don't know if I'll finish the other two books anytime soon. I think what makes it hard is that there's no "happy ending." The rape can't be undone. The damage can't be undone. Maya will forever be scared of the dark. How Kevin has status, keeping him safe. Yes, he is scared of the dark now, but it's not enough. Nothing will fix what happened.

And what I just finished reading today, Anxious People "It's a story about a bank robbery gone wrong? How can that make me cry?" -Me to my teacher.

God. What a book. This book made me laugh and almost brought me to tears. If I wasn't in school while reading this, I would be ugly crying.

This book perfectly embodies Fredrik's writing style. How EVERY little piece matters. Every character is important. You're reading and then hit with a plot twist. Knut being dead? Never expected. That one COMPLETELY threw me in for a loop. The way the chapter hopped back to the flashbacks and then to the interview, oh my god I loved this so much. Might be my favorite one yet.

Every character was so diverse with their own story and struggles, yet they all came together and helped each other when they needed it. I loved the fact that there wasn't a villain in this story- the bank robber wanted to harm nobody, just take care of her kids.

So many of these quotes hit home. The funny ones, the serious ones.

“Not knowing is a good place to start.” I always tell my therapist "I don't know." She said I'm the only person she allows to say that. The fact that a psychologist said that??? It just comforted me so much.

"...but inside she was standing in a forest screaming until her heart burst. The trees grew until one day the sunlight could no longer break through the foliage, and the darkness in there became impenetrable." This one also hit home for me. I'm a very angry person but try my best to control it. Multiple times a day, I imagine myself running into a forest, screaming and yelling my heart out, nobody hearing me. I felt so understood, so seen in this.

"Can you imagine what a bad parent you must have been for your children not to want to be parents?" Woah. I had to close the book and think about this. I don't have the best relationship with my parents, but they are okay parents. They might not rob a bank for me though 😂. But this quote just... I don't know. It really puts a different view on things. It almost makes me feel a bit bad. All in all, this is a quote that lives in the back of my head rent free.

Ever since the first page of this book, I knew I was in for a ride. It felt so long ago, reading chapter 2, "don't think about cookies". This book is a solid 100/10, I will never get rid of it and will reread it many times to come.

Please. If you're looking for a good book to read, please just do ANYTHING by Fredrik Backman. His writing style is unique, fun, just so different and a breath of fresh air. His books will make you cry and laugh and you'll find quotes that you carry on with you for years to come. As I write, I find myself often writing in his sort of style. He is truly an amazing writer and comes up with amazing plots. Before reading his works, only one book ever made me cry. (A Mango Shaped Space). But no movie has ever made me cry. I sobbed in the theaters watching A Man Called Otto. Can't wait to watch Anxious People on Netflix now! I've heard bad stuff, but I'll still watch it.

I hope I managed to convince someone to read a book by Fredrik Backman. Or possibly even re-read a book. I know I want to keep reading books by him. Maybe My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry?

[xumoonhao]

what i read in august 2023 💖

(entries marked with an * indicate favourites)

{articles in green are short reads [2-10 minutes]; articles in yellow are medium [11-25 minutes]; articles in red are long [longer than 25 minutes].}

ONLINE ARTICLES

“Orange Is the New Black” Signalled the Rot Inside the Streaming Economy by Michael Schulman | The New Yorker

* The Trans Son Of Anti-Trans Influencer Tania Joy Gibson Speaks Out by Christopher Mathias | Huffington Post

Scientists Taught Pet Parrots to Video Call Each Other—and the Birds Loved It by Sarah Kuta | Smithsonian Mag

How People Sentenced to Life in Prison Made Their Case for Release by Issie Lapowsky and Abdul Kircher | The New York Times

A Light Under the Door by Matthew Eng | Hazlitt

“Girl Dinner” and “Hot Girl Walks” Aren’t TikTok Trends, They’re Marketing Campaigns by Rebecca Jennings | Vox

What Is Narcissism? Science Confronts a Widely Misunderstood Phenomenon by Diana Kwon | Scientific American

There are Complex Reasons for Our Dire Wildfires, but Scientists Say Climate Change Plays Key Role by Bethany Lindsay | CBC News

It’s Never Too Late for Siblings to Change Their Relationship by Angela Chen | The Atlantic

What Separates Highly Creative People by Brian Gallagher | Nautilus

Your Clothes Don’t Fit. Here’s Why by Elizabeth Endicott | The New York Times

Hollywood’s Strikes Illuminate Something Crucial About the Present—and Future—of Art by Aaron Bady | Slate

Why Some People Struggle With Procrastination by Lauren Geall | Stylist

BOOKS

Divine Rivals (The Letters of Enchantment Duology #1) by Rebecca Ross (2023) ★★⋆ 2.5/5

* Timekeeper (The Timekeeper Series #1) by Tara Sim (2016) ★★★★ 4/5

The Magdalen Girls by V.S. Alexander (2016) ★★★★ 4/5

reader apps: pocket | omnivore my storygraph

[deadrayg2mf]

Dead Ray's Comfort Series: Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon

I promised a comfort series and here it is! I accidentally deleted what I first had typed out to post so here is my shot at a second try. I won't be going into too much detail about all the stories but I wanted to give a general overview and highlight some of my favorites.

I started out as an ironic Ruby Dixon fan, I had found her on Tiktok and jumped on the big blue alien bandwagon - the sole reason I got Kindle Unlimited. Now, after finishing the series I am firmly and unironically a Ruby Dixon fan and will happily claim Ice Planet Barbarians as my comfort series.

Each story contains a giant, horned, bone-plated, and ribbed blue alien who is the perfect counterpart to her strong-in-their-own-way female leads. Of course, you can absolutely plan to fall in love with each and every person on Not Hoth - the alien planet that our heroines find themselves stranded on after being kidnapped by some not-so-hot aliens.

Everyone has their own story, some couples get revisits, and then there's the spin-off series that I am trying to hold myself back from jumping into immediately because I'd like to keep my content varied for ya'll. (unless you're cool with a sudden barrage of Ruby Dixon content cause I'll do it) Some stories are relatively light-hearted while others touch on some more serious topics including; r*pe, SA, mental illness, and child loss.

Over-arching is always the plot of coming to terms with one day being kidnapped and landing on a hellish ice planet where your only hope for survival is to get cooties (inside joke? maybe) and the freakishly large blue alien who looks like he'd have to be summoned via witchcraft if it wasn't for the fact that aliens are real. Oh... and suddenly ya'll are vibrating like a lonely person's bedside table at each other - cooties sure are something.

If it wasn't for the snow, I wouldn't mind my own big blue alien to be obsessed with me... (this is consent to any hot alien who may be reading this - I like my climate in the 50-60's Fahrenheit range)

My favorites? I'm so glad you asked! While I recommend reading the entire series, I understand the daunting task that is asking you to undertake. The books I am highlighting as my favorites won't necessarily do you any favors when it comes to story continuity but just the fact that they are my favorite couples.

Barbarian Lover (book #3) with Kira and Aehako, Barbarian's Prize (book #5) with Tiffany and Salukh, Barbarian's Touch (book #7) with Lila and Rokan, Barbarian's Heart (book #9) with Stacy and Pashov, and Barbarian's Bride (book #19) with Nora and Dagesh.

So, if you're looking for a series filled with happy endings and happy endings, I really suggest Ice Planet Barbarians. Good writing, characters you'll love, interesting stories that never get boring because we always get something new with the different couples, recalls to some couples if you didn't get enough of them, and an interesting plot. On top of it all, the series spans several years on the ice planet and the trials and tribulations that come with long term relationships and other outside forces.

10/10 and a huge thank you to Ruby Dixon for giving me a whole world to escape to and be happy the entire time I'm there within the words of the Ice Planet Barbarians.

[aroadcalledsobriety]

Here's to Us | A Strangers Things FanFiction

Chapter 1

Next

Flickering lights and a blonde with a nose bleed sends Joan Destiny back in time to 1985 as Joan Agatha, supposedly her aunt whose existence she had never heard about before. A fan of Back to the Future and Doctor Who, Joan knows how changing the course of the future could end for her, so she decides to act the part - no matter how hard it can be. Between Russians, drug dealers, and interdimensional monsters Joan is left with one question...

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴊᴏᴀɴ ᴀɢᴀᴛʜᴀ? ¿ɐɥʇɐɓ∀ uɐoſ oʇ pǝuǝddɐɥ ʇɐɥM

October 12, 2022 Hawkins High School

The moment she had first gained consciousness into the world, Joan felt like she didn't belong in the skin she possessed. From her first word being actually a sentence-long-event far past the age of first words - her parents and doctor labeled her on the spectrum - to the way she belted out random songs in the hallways, Joan never felt like she belonged.

"Y-you could talk this entire time? Why didn't you say anything?"

"I had nothing to say."

Her existence felt itchy like an electric current rushing through her veins constantly and it only dulled down when she was doing something, anything, everything. Joan needed to move, to think, to feel that weird fuzzy thing on the wall that the other girls sneered at in disgust. Her brain ran constantly and her notebooks were filled with stories of a near terrifying magnitude.

"An overactive imagination, she's six, it's normal for kids her age."

"Honey, she wrote about someone being murdered..."

Joan lived for chaos because that was the only way to calm the electricity in her veins. Her ears were always plugged with music blaring through her eardrums to break up the silent hell, a chewed up pencil in hand to keep her teeth from grinding, and a bouncing leg to release the pent of energy.

"Wanna see me jump out the window and see what Ms. Thompson says?"

"Joan, we're on the second floor!"

And today was no different for the girl as she sat at the head of one of the lunch room tables, scribbling away in her notebooks like maniac. It was almost complete and it would be complete by 3:15pm today which was only a few hours away. It needed to be perfect, the best, well polished and-

"Joan?" A hand landed on her shoulder and Joan jumped in shock, looking around in a panic to see a familiar face - or well three - behind her. Joan tugged one AirPod out, her music pausing as she scowled. 

The other two seniors besides Joan were Ryan and Bryan, and the two were twins in everything but family and looks. Blond hair dyed green versus raven hair, they shared the same braincell amongst one another, finished each other's sentences unnaturally well, and did everything together since birth. The two were annoying little shits, but Joan didn't mind their company.

The weirdos were born a day from each other.

And Harry was the sophomore little sibling of Ryan, who joined the club at Ryan's polite threat, not that he really needed threatening. He was fine with joining, not like he would make friends anywhere else with his weird glass eye.

"What the hell, Bryan?!" She snapped out and slammed the notebook closed violently. The boys only snickered, each taking a seat at the table and setting down their lunches in front of them. "You know better than to sneak up on me, you jerk!"

"You shouldn't have your music up so loud anyways, Jo. What if there was a fire?"

"If I die, I die." Joan said simply with a roll of her eyes and her leg started bouncing again. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a hand sneaking over towards her notebook and she was quick to whack the hand and earned a satisfying fuck! in return. "Ryan, me boy, you know better than to touch my things."

"God, Jo. Do you have to be so violent?!" Ryan moaned while rubbing his hand dramatically. "That's going to bruise!"

"Baby." The boy next to him snickered with mouthful of sandwich. "Shoulda been quick- ooof!" Some sandwich  left the kids mouth as Ryan's elbow found its way into his rib. "What the fuck, Ryan!"

"What the fuck, Ryan!" Ryan imitated in a high pitch voice with a roll of his eyes, dodging the return shove his way. "Grow up Harry. It was your idea anyways."

"Are you trying to get me killed?!" Harry hissed out, his eyes darting to Joan who's own eyes were starting to narrow further and further with each second. "Look, Jo, we just wanted a sneak peak-."

"No. Non. Nyet. Nein. No, but in Spanish. And how about this no." Joan snapped out, making an X with her arms, shaking her head, and finishing with the sign language for No to emphasize her point. The boys flinched as her arm jolted out and pointed at each one of them. "None of you get to see anything until it's all done, understand?!"

"But, what about-."

"Just one peek-!"

"All I need is-!"

Joan's hands slammed down on the table, the cafeteria going silent as she stood up and stared down coldly into Ryan's eyes. "Do. You. Understand?"

"Geez, yes, okay!" Ryan snapped out, pushing the girl away from his face and look around at the obviously staring faces with nervousness all over him. Even though the girl could seemingly ignore the snickers and whispers around them, Ryan still had problems with the attention being on him at any time of day. "Just-just sit down and stop drawing attention to us!"

Joan rolled her eyes but listened all the same, plopping down into her chair unceremoniously and taking out her other AirPod, shoving them into their case. Another tray joined in next to Bryan and everyone visibly relaxed as the empty seat filled with a familiar pink skirt and long legs, and the cafeteria volume slowly increased.

"What'd I miss?" 

"Oh, God, Brynnyn. Thank fuck."  Harry hissed out throwing his head back as if he was thanking God personally. "Joan was going mental."

"Is she not always going mental?" Brynnyn smirked over at her friends, the chuckles going around at Joan's rolling eyes and scoff of disbelief. "What'd they do this time?"

"They tried to steal my notebook." Joan said passionately, lifting up the fancy leather-bound book in emphasis as if it were criminal evidence in court. She shook it lightly. "My notebook, Bryn!"

"Oh, you poor thing." Brynnyn mocked with a jutted out lip. Harry covered his mouth to hide his snicker and looked away at Joan's glare. "Can you blame them? You were pretty brutal last time."

Brynnyn was their resident cheerleader, a junior, and joined the group of misfits her sophomore year after some pleading from Joan. The ginger-haired, dark skin girl had grown up around the crazy brunette - their parents were close - so it didn't take much convincing, her only request was that Brynnyn could do cheer as a priority, much to Joan's chagrin.

Joan sniffed, pushing the notebook into her bag jerkily to hide it safely from peeping eyes. "You guys just don't appreciate true art."

"It's because we appreciate living." Bryan whispered none to quietly under his breath his own eyes rolling at the glance his way. "Oh come on Joan. You know you're being a bitch."

"Blah blah blah, what a bunch of whimps." Joan grumbled, crossing her arms as if she were a child and slouching down into her seat with legs opening obnoxiously wide. "Babies, the lot of you."

Ryan kicked Joan's legs closed with his foot. "You're wearing a fucking skirt, Jo! Stop spreading like that!" 

"Ugh, whatever." Joan moaned out, pushing her knees together and smacking her head onto the table, the pain soothing to her brain. "I'm never wearing anything other than pants after today ever again."

It was too quiet after that, no one knew what to say, and the silence made the itch stronger. Without the music, or the scrawling on paper, or bouncing around... Joan was left with an ache in her bones. 

"God, you ever think about just bashing your head against the cement walls over and over and over and-."

"Jesus Christ, Jo!"

"-over and over and-"

"No!"

"-over and-"

"Literally no one, dude..."

"-and over again?" Joan ignored the others and enjoyed the coolness of the table on her cheek and shut her eyes to listen to the vibrations around her. "Ever wonder about the people who walked these halls before us? Like, how many dead people you think used to go here?"

"Shit, also that weird stuff in the 80's our parents refuse to talk about... I'd say maybe at least one." Harry pointed out. "My parents never talk about it thought."

"Well considering this school is older than our parents..." Ryan trailed off, fingers drumming on the table, and leg bouncing in response to Harry. "I assume at least three."

"That sounds mathematically sound." Brynnyn snorted and spooned some peas into her mouth. She didn't bother to swallow before finishing her comment. "It's a wonder how your not in AP Calculus already, Ri-Ri."

"It's because there was no room available!" Ryan insisted with wide eyes. He looked around at his friends frantically. "Seriously, guys. I tried to take it, but they were already full."

"Take what?" A pile of red hair piped up, joining the table next to Brynnyn quietly with a metal Star Wars lunchbox clanking on the table. He opened it slowly and took out the sandwich and celery inside with a matching water bottle on the side. 

"Ryan here is saying he totally tried to get into AP Calc with the rest of us seniors, but the dude was too late to get in." Joan filled him in with a smile, before waving her fingers over at the kid. "Hey, Caleb. Where's your better half?"

"H-hey, Joan." Caleb returned the wave with a chuckle, before digging into his sandwich. "I-uh, she's sick today. Kaleigh had some kind of a weird headache and stayed home today."

Joan frowned at that, eyebrows furrowing in concern. "Is she okay? This is like the fifth time."

"Yeah, just the seasonal pressure getting to her head." Caleb waved the concern away with his free hand, seemingly unconcerned. "It happens every year, she's fine. But, uh, what's with the skirt?"

"My stupid grandparents are in town." Joan said dramatically, leaning back to balance on the back two legs of her chair to keep her mind occupied. Her friends nodded in understanding, but Caleb's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Ryan glanced over at the boy and leaned over the table to fill him in. "Her mom's a Mormon-"

"Was a Mormon."

"-and her grandparents still are, obviously. So whenever they visit she has to wear dresses and skirts." 

Caleb blinked at the explanation, nodding slowly as he took in the information. He wanted to ask why, but figured by Joan's bad mood that asking would only worsen her mood. And he too enjoyed life. But Joan was still worried about the youngest girl, this was her third time this month missing school due to a headache and it put a strange ripple of anxiety through her stomach at the thought.

Caleb and Kaleigh had joined the club at the start of the school year, having been swiped up quickly by the group after recognizing what Joan called the stench of fear cause by suffering from nerd-syndrome, and they fit in like a puzzle piece. She constantly referred to the the group as her babies and children, going above and beyond for the freshmen.

They were small, yet mighty continuing the small group that had gone on for decades with legacy after legacy keeping it alive. Today was Wednesday, which meant they were all wearing the signature baseball shirt designed way back in the 80's. 

"Can't we just get a glimpse of the new campaign, or-or even a hint?" Ryan pleaded with his hands laced together and a poor attempt of a puppy dog face. Joan's nose scrunched up in distaste at the look. "Come on."

"At least tell us the monsters! The version! Or-!"

"Who's the antagonist? Is there multiple? Will the Tarrasque come back-!"

"Is it a fresh new map that I can draw out?! I've got a great idea for-!"

"Are we doing ocean this time?! I reall-!"

"No! No!" Joan shook her head violently, the metal hanging on her ears clinking together and the group paused their shouts as the girl shoved her hands over her ears and blocked them out. Once she was sure they were done pestering, she carefully removed her hands, ready to throw them back on in a moments notice. "I told you guys we'll talk about it tonight at Hellfire!" 

The Hellfire club was one of the few clubs that stayed active since the early 80's and would frequently come close to dying out until some weirdos like the ones who wore the shirt proudly in that moment stepped in to fill up the table once again. It was the black sheep of the school coming together to unify, from lonely cheerleader to Cyber Team loser, they were all equals when it came to DnD.

Joan was a tough DM - having learned from the best before her - but the way her brain seemed to never quite turn off properly made campaigns the most fun anyone ever had. It was impressive to watch her deepen her voice into that of a strong yet dumb ogre of the swamps or lift it up with a heavy accent like she was a forest fairy, dainty and fragile with a hint of foreign something they could never name.

Stubborn, crazy, but above all fiercely loyal and protective of her friends, Joan was a force of nature known to bruise her own knuckles on anyone who thought they could get away with messing with any of her children.

Later in the afternoon, she stared from the DM seat over at her friends filling the table with happy chats, a small smile filled her face and she stilled. For one happy moment the electricity stopped coursing through her veins and the beating in her heart smoothed to a near normal beat, and she sighed quietly.

If she belonged anywhere it was here with her friends after school in a near empty building, her notebook out in front of her, more dies then needed out on the table, and boxes of pizza half-hazardly thrown around the theatre room.

"Alright, my flesh bags, let us-!"

Joan was cut off by flickering lights and she frowned, the electric feeling flowing through her faster than ever. Nervously, she licked her lips when the lights didn't quit flashing and looked around at the scared faces in front of her.

'"I-it's probably just some f-faulty bulbs, guys. It's a shitty old school." Joan tried to be the voice of reason as eyes looked towards her as the leader. She felt a hitch in her throat - she was only 17, not even an adult yet, why were they looking at her?! - and cleared it away. "Look, they're some lanterns in the cabinet over there from some stupid play. We can get those and-."

Screams cut her off as the door to the theater slammed open loudly, the club members scrambling out of their seats to get far, far away from the opened door. The lights flickered faster and a breezed flew down Joan's spine as she carefully got up with narrowing eyes at the newcomer.

"Kaleigh?" Joan asked slowly, taking a step towards the freshman and examine the girl. Kaleigh seemed to be looking through her instead of at her with muddy bare feet and unbearably wide eyes. "Jesus, 'Leigh! Your nose is bleeding!"

Kaleigh didn't answer, instead stepping into the room and walking slowly towards Joan whose frown deepened with every step. Eventually the feeling of danger passed through her mind and Joan started taking a step back with every step forward.

"Kaleigh? Dude, chill out. I-If this is about you dying in the last campaign, I promise this one is a lot nice- oh shit!" Joan cried out dodging the table that flew her way like magic. Her eyes followed the table as it crashed into the far theater wall and then snapped back to Kaleigh who continued her trek. "Yo, freshmeat! Wake up, it's me, Joan! Maybe you should have been a wizar- fuck!"

Joan was thrown up against the wall next to the table, the feeling of breathing leaving her as soon as her back slammed against the wall, and she stared hopelessly down at the tiny girl in front of her while clawing at her own throat.

There were no other words, no explanations nor goodbyes, only Kaleigh's head jerking up and Joan's world went black. Her last thoughts bouncing around like an echo. 

Knew s-she was a fucking wizard.

[chaotictomtom]

FINALLY DONE WITH THIS EP OMGGGGG 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[therentyoupay]

to add on to what anon said. when i saw the notif on my phone i nearly dropped it in the sink RUNNING to my laptop to see if it wasn't a glitch. im so excited to re-read ur work AND excited to see how it'll end. now that im also a bio uni student i relate soooo much more to the lab work than before. it adds another lvl of je ne sais quoi to the story.

anyways just wanted to say big fan since ffn and im still as in love w ur writing as i was when i was in high school.

😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭✨

THANK YOU SO MUCH 🙏🙏😭😭😭✨

[justanotherautie]

when you stab someone and blood spurts out that’s a metaphor for cum. btw

[hopesangelsprite]

Movie Recc

If you ever have 2-ish hrs to spare and want to cry over a tragic love story, I highly recommend 'The Ying Yang Master: Dream of Eternity.

I've not stopped crying yet, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.