#please remember that painting things as “gross” and “bad” and “should be wiped out of your home” is very much how people justify atrocities

[secret-bug-pain-blog]

Bug thoughts night. Time to learn things about bugs, whether you like it or not.

Did you know that the reason bug zappers are so effective is because they cook bugs in their shells? They quite literally boil a bug's blood, and since a bug's got an open circulatory system, it boils the rest of their organs with it. With most models, it lures the bugs to itself with a UV bulb, then kills them on the spot with a mesh of electrified metal - quickly, painfully, and with little to no hope of survival.

Because most bug zappers use a fluorescent UV lightbulb, their main catch is almost never mosquitoes - even if it's one that lures with pheromones, it casts a wide net, and it goes after just about any bug in the area that will be caught in it. Moths are the obvious one, but the majority of bug zapper catches are things like water bugs and midges - harmless bugs, but electricity doesn't discriminate between harmless and not. What matters is what's caught in the net is undesirable, and because it can be killed by electricity, it will be.

It is acceptable, because they're bugs. There are plenty of them, they're fine to kill, the world is better off without a few gross little bugs anyways. They're uncharismatic. Ugly. They're an acceptable loss. Who likes bugs, anyways? Who wants dirty little bugs in their space? In their homes? In their neighborhoods?

If it kills them dead, then it's an acceptable loss.

Might be fun to think about when writing your next story.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Of Monsters and Men

Chapter 5- Be Wary Of Old Friends

Summary: Your boys may annoy you at times but you’ll protect them with your life, especially when an unexpected acquaintance makes themselves know.

Warning: monster hunting ensues, reader goes a little feral, a bard in danger

Masterlist

"Hey songbird!" You shout from across the small campsite to where Jaskier is, "You helping pack or are you going to finger that lute all day?" You add with an amused laugh as he throws you a half-hearted glare while you start to snicker at his almost grossed out face.

"Y/N, you are hilarious." Mutters the bard unenthusiastically as he places his prized lute in her travel case, suddenly you hear a stick snap to your left near the woods. Raising to your feet at the sudden noise, you sigh in relief once Geralt emerges from the forest.

"Ah, yes, there you are." Announces Jaskier as he gains Geralt's attention, "Your lady here has been harassing me for the past ten minutes that you've been out and about." He complains, Geralt turns to you with a raised eyebrow.

Scoffing you roll your eyes, "Oh please, I've been the only one doing anything helpful since you've miraculously disappeared, and Jask can't stop from fondling his lute in the meantime." Geralt's lips pull at the corners of his mouth as Jaskier lets out a gasp at your nonchalant explanation.

"I was not fondling anything Y/N! Maybe if I shoved a wooden stake through your chest you'd stop...uh, you'd stop....being mean to me...yeah." Exclaims Jaskier with a hand on his hip, lute strapped to his shoulder as Geralt looks from you to the bard. Oh, you are seriously enjoying this.

A smirk makes its way onto your face at his words, "I'd like to see you try, you pampered little princess." You sass with a raise of your eyebrow as he purses his lips together at your admittedly bland insult, you're just trying to rile him up for the fun of it.

"Maybe I can....be violent, you have yet to see what I can do with these hands." He boasts while Geralt packs a last bag onto Roach's back, doing his best to ignore yourself and Jaskier's back and forth comments.

"Oh right, besides gettin' it on with the ladies of the high court with those sneaky paws of yours...so we have to save your stupid ass when things go south." You chuckle while pulling on your cloak, Jaskier simply shakes his head at you as Geralt leads Roach over to where you're standing.

He gently nudges your arm affectionately, "Come on you two, time to go elsewhere before the sun goes down." Implores Geralt as he looks at your amused face, Roach letting out a snort of agreement.

Jaskier turns his head up towards the cloudy sky, "But it's not even seven in the morning yet." Protests the bard as you walk past him with a mischievous wink.

"You wanted to come remember. Get inspiration for your ballots and all the good shit." He shakes his head as a humored grin comes to his face, you got him there.

"Right. Right. You enjoy my company I know it." Calls after the bard while you continue up the woodland trail, trees and bushes to either side while he turns his attention back to Geralt, "I know it, she's fond of me I can just tell. Underneath all that mystery, satirical annoyance, unprecedented violent tendencies and whatnot. She thinks I'm interesting. Right?" Wonders Jaskier as Geralt leads Roach around him.

He glances at Jaskier for a moment to answer with a bit of wisdom, "Give it some time bard." He mutters, Jaskier jogs over to his side with a puzzled look upon his face implying that Geralt should continue, "It took me a while to gain her full trust and respect, she's just testing you Jask...it's in her nature or something of the like. It's how she shows her love, in her own way." The bard gives a thoughtful nod as he watches you walk down the trail.

"What do I have to do?" Wonders Jaskier with a shrug, "Kill a man with my bare hands...or..or perhaps I must tame a bear to juggle wild rabbit heads?" Inquirers Jaskier as he turns to look at you once again, his eyes going wide as he suddenly realizes you're nowhere to be found.

Jaskier nudges your Witcher who looks at him rather bored like, "Uh, Geralt...uh..wh-where has she gone. I don't happen to see Y/N anymore, I mean we haven't been walking that slow now have we?" He rambles nervously as his head turns from right to left and back down the trail again, "Geralt seriously, where the fuck did Y/N go....I'd really rather not have her scare me, again."

"Now watching you tame a bear..." Jaskier jumps while letting out a small yelp in surprise at the unexpected sound of your sly voice from behind him, "That would be interesting and very entertaining...but no, I just enjoy pushing your buttons cause let me be honest here, its too goddamn easy." Jaskier sends you a glare as you walk to his side while he tries to keep pace with you and Geralt.

"My gods Y/N you're such a...uh well...never mind it, I'm going to have to remind myself that you can hear incredibly well...and do," He points his fingers to your humored form, "That. Even traveling with you two for a whole year and all."

You slowly nod, a thoughtful expression on your face, "If I showed you what else I'm capable of, you'd probably shit yourself so don't fret, I'll save your eyes the horror." Jaskier glances at you with a wary doubtful look in his eyes as he hugs his lute closer in the cool morning breeze. Feeling his suspicious gaze upon you, a low chuckle escapes from your lips that sends mist into the crisp air like a dragon about to spit fire.

"Oh thanks I feel so much better now." Replies Jaskier, sarcasm dripping off of every word.

——

After a solid week of traveling through woodland trails, over bridges, and past rows of plowed fields. Your band of merry adventurers has made it to a small lakeside village overlooking magnificent mountains that tower high into the sky, ones that reflect beautifully off of the shimmering crystal blue lake below.

When you make it to the stables, the sky has turned into an exquisite mix of fiery oranges, reds, and purples that paint the sky and some of her wispy clouds overhead. A cool but refreshing breeze blows in your faces as it makes your cloaks flap in the wind with every new gust.

Once Roach has been fed and watered in her comfortable new temporary stall for the night, you and Geralt make your way to the only tavern in the village where Jaskier can be heard singing loudly his newest ballot. Something about how you and Geralt fought bravely back a pack of fierce shapeshifters on one hunt. The songs almost truthful, the exception being that the shapeshifters were actually old friends of Jaskier's who were pissed off cause he owed them money. In the end, they didn't get any money, mostly because they're not currently alive anymore to need it.

"I was hoping for a quiet evening, we could just drink our fill and then sleep in an actual bed for once....no one to bother us." Admits Geralt as he opens up the wooden door for you to walk inside the warm welcoming tavern.

Turning your face to look up at him you let out a yawn hidden behind your arm, "No one to bother us sounds very enticing." You muse while turning your attention back to the bustling tavern life.

The place is lit up with candles positioned at each table, a roaring fire casts shadows over the room from its prison in the hearth as you find an empty corner just perfect for yourself and Geralt. Taking the lead you walk past a couple drunken tavern goers on your way to the quiet corner of the place. Almost hidden from Jaskier's very loud singing that's taking place by the fire where a significant amount of women are sat, listening intently as they practically undress him with their eyes.

Sliding into the corner first, you lean yourself against the wall as Geralt sits down next to you, your legs touching even though there's enough room that you wouldn't have to be so close. You can tell how much he's been holding back since Jaskier has been around to ruin most of the fun.

Letting out a satisfied sigh as you close your eyes, your ears listen to the sounds of a woman's footsteps approaching your table, "Welcome travelers I'm Misha, what'll it be this even'n?" Announces a peppy teenager through a peculiar accent as she looks between the two of you with big curious brown eyes.

"Two ale's and whatever's on the menu for tonight." Mutters Geralt as you open your scarlet irises while holding your tired head up with the palm of your hand, a lazy smile painted onto your face. Her own eyes widen for a brief moment before she regains her bearings once again, flashing a nervous smile a she abruptly turns on her heel for the kitchens.

Looking over to the lively sight of the singing bard you smile, "Wonder who's going to keep Jask warm tonight, huh?" You chuckle as Geralt turns an amused smirk towards you while you shift your eyes back to the singing bard.

Geralt nudges his shoulder against yours, "Could be that blonde one in green or maybe the redhead to his left?" You find the ladies that he's referring to and watch as Jaskier gives the she-fox a charming wink.

Turning your attention back to Geralt, he looks down at you with a raise of his brow, "Oh it's definitely the redhead, she's already caught his eye so we needn't concern ourselves with him till morning, if all goes well for him that is." You muse as the tavern maid sets two ale's in front of you, a shy smile gracing her young face as she leaves.

Grasping your mug you take a hearty much needed chug before slamming it onto the table and wiping off your mouth, "Oh fuck yeah I've missed what real ale tastes like." You breath out happily as Geralt lightly sets his half empty mug onto the wooden table while you take another sip.

"It's not half bad." He admits with a shrug as you lean into his side.

You're about to comment on how lackluster his review was when your crimson eyes light up at the large single plate of trout and various steaming greens coming your way, "Ah yes our foods here."

After eating your meal and finishing off your glasses while forcing yourselves to listen to Jaskier's ballots that you've heard over a hundred times. You and Geralt get up and head to the bar for a key to a room upstairs. You watch as Jaskier disappears into a room with the redhead from earlier as you turn to face the young woman at the bar.

"Room for two....please." She gives you a quick nod before searching a drawer for the key to a room. Once she finds them you're able to take the rusted old key and walk over to the stairway as Geralt silently follows. The climb up is a short one, your quest taking you both to the end of the dimly lit hallway until you finally reach your room.

Stepping inside you look around the place and notice a small window, a decently large bed, and a fireplace next to it. The room isn't terrible if you're being honest and the bed looks incredibly inviting after sleeping on the ground for almost a month. Your face shifting into a pleasant grin as you drop your belongings and weapon onto the ground.

"Nice place." You add while turning around to give Geralt a knowing smirk, his face breaking out into a grin at your silent implications, "Guess we better test out the bed.." His golden eyes trail up your body as you continue, "make sure it's soft enough and..." You don't have time to finish as Geralt's soft lips have entrapped you into a heated embrace, his calloused hands snaking around you as yours does the same.

He gently leads you backwards until your legs hit the edge of the bed, your lips still locked with one another the whole time, even while he tenderly lays you onto your back. The mattress is soft and inviting as Geralt climbs over you, never once breaking the kiss to your great satisfaction.

——

Walking over to a table, three drinks in one hand and a plate of fresh bread and butter in the other. You watch in amusement at the morning faces of your Witcher and bard who look like they desperately need something to wake them up with.

"So Jask how was the redhead last night, was she all you'd dreamed of...did she fulfill every last perverted wish of yours?" You jest with a smirk as you set the drinks and plate of food onto the table, setting yourself down next to Geralt.

Jaskier shakes his head as a bashful smile appears onto his lips, "It was...very pleasant and uh...that's all the information I'll let you have." He retorts while taking a sip from one of the provided cups in an attempt at hiding behind the glass. Honestly you're kinda glad he has decided against spilling any private details, something he usually does much to yours and Geralt's disgust.

Geralt hums before adding in his two cents, "No one can quite resist your charms no matter where we seem to go." He deadpans while breaking off a warm piece of bread that he kindly hands to you before reaching over to break off a new chunk for himself.

Jaskier looks down with an almost shy smile before taking another sip, "Well, I try not to pride myself or anything, it's just a talent you see...which of course my voice and handiwork with my lute helps, also having you two as friends seems to peak some interest in the ladies now since I think of it." He replies as he stuffs a fluffy piece of bread into his mouth.

"Glad we could help then." You add with a cheerful raise of your mug before downing the rest of the liquid. The three of you taking a couple blissful minutes of peace to eat and wake up.

Glancing around the room you watch for any new tavern goers who may spark your interest as you suddenly decide to get on with your morning, "I'm going to pay, you two want anything while I'm up?"

"Um yeah, Valdo Marx's head on a shiny platter...that's all." Quips Jaskier with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"I'll see what I can do." You reply before turning around and walking over to the bar where the young brown eyed woman is tending to a customer.

Leaning your arms against the shiny wood of the counter you nod to the old man next to you who gives a cautious glare as you turn your head to the bartender, "Misha, right? Here's the coin for the room and the food. We'll be off soon enough."

She turns to you with a frown, "Just one night? That's too bad, we've actually been havin' some troubles 'round here recently and it would be wonderful if you and that Witcher could possibly help..."

"Will you shut it girl, we don't need no outsiders knowing of our business," Snaps the man from earlier as he sneers at her, "We got men handling it just fine." He adds with a gruff nod, his cold steely eyes intimidating to the innocent tavern maid.

Her once happy face goes sad as unshed tears form in her shimmering doe eyes while she ignores the grump, "Twenty are already dead miss, my poor brother included..."

"Shut your fucking mou.."

"If you interrupt her again I'll cut off your tongue and shove it up your ass." You threaten as your eyes glow bright red, the old greying man abruptly goes silent at your heated warning as you turn your cooler demeanor back to the young girl, "Tell me more about this...whatever the fuck that's slaughtering your village's men."

Her brows furrow in troubled thought as she looks back up to you, "Uh, they come back looking, well...mutilated, their throats practically torn out, their chests ripped open and their eyes gone, bodies pale as ghosts." A frightful expression flashes across her terrified face, "But it's not just the men.." She whispers while leaning her head in closer to yours, "The village women have gone missing, snatched from their beds in the middle of the night...never seen from again...no one knows who takes them but..."

"How long has this been going on for?" You quickly interrupt, wanting to find out if your growing suspicions are possibly correct.

"About five months now, it happens around the same time every month in fact, oh god...this night is when the beast usually strikes...", A single tear runs down the side of her face as she tries to control her trembling, "I don't want to be taken miss, but I must tell you....some have said that the creature walks like a man, is too swift to be truly seen, and can magically get into your house...no matter if its locked or not." Your eyebrows furrow in concern for the girl and this alarming news that's slowly starting to fit into place.

"You said tonight yes...hm alright, where have these bodies been found, I mean isn't there any tracks in the mud or sand, on trails?" Misha quickly shakes her head as the old man listens intently, thankfully minding his own.

Smirking at a new and appealing thought you find her wary eyes once again, "I've gotten an idea, would your village happen to have a carriage for long traveling, I think we may be able to lure the beast away from the village with the thing during the time that you claim it comes into town." She gives a hopeful smile as you return one just the same.

"Miss I can get that arranged for you in no time. Meet me by the stables, an hour before sunset and my father will have the carriage waiting....oh bless you, he'll be ever so grateful." She affirms happily with a beaming smile, though behind it all you can tell how truly terrified she really is. She hopes whatever plan you have works, you're hoping it will too.

Setting down your coin, she quickly takes it before tending to another tavern goer, but as you turn to leave the old man grasps your arm, "Do you really think its possible, that the man-beast can be killed?" He wonders in a hushed tone as he looks up with pleading eyes, they soon turn skeptical once again, "I don't believe a word anyone says until I see it with me own two eyes."

Removing his arm from your own you nod to him, "I'll gut the fucker and put its head on a spike, then you'll know for yourself." His face morphs into a troubled expression as you leave him doubting by the bar, your mind now set on how to handle the new problem hiding like a coward in the woods.

—-

Walking to the stables with Geralt by your side and Jaskier on your tail, you casually touch the side of your hip, making certain that your silver dagger is still in its place.

"So what...or I guess whom do you presume this monster is again Y/N?" Questions the bard as he falls in step with you.

"I'll be one hundred percent certain once I actually see it, Jask. So until then, no more questions or I'll shove that pretty jacket of yours down your throat." You muse as he gives a curt nod.

"Yes alright, noted Y/N. Noted." Mutters Jaskier as Geralt holds back a laugh.

Once the three of you make it to the stables, you're pleasantly surprised to find a black two horsed carriage awaiting you along with Misha and her father who appears to be rather glad that someone is finally here to put an end to the deaths and mystery. She instructs you three to trek on the northern trail, where the pine forest is located, same area that the man-beast has made its hunting grounds, or so its claimed.

With that in mind you direct Geralt to take the reigns and for Jaskier to hold a silver sword as he keeps himself in the actual carriage, while you keep close by in the woods for a better view of the beast and where it may be coming from. Then just like that you're off and into the crisp night air as a full moon graces you all with its brightness upon the land, you fly through the great pine trees as you follow Geralt who's leading the horses down the wide woodland trail. Luckily the woods seem mostly vacant of bushes and greenery of the like, only tall bristly pines tower over the ground as they leave the woods shadowed from the rising moon.

"Geralt. Heyyyyyy Geeeeraltttt." Whines Jaskier from within the small carriage as Geralt holds tightly onto the leather reigns, a soft cool breeze blowing his silver hair back.

"What?" Grumbles the Witcher with a sigh, eyes set to the path ahead.

Jaskier leans back into the velvety cushions as he crosses his arms over his chest, "You think I could have a peek, you know...sit up there with you? I mean come on, I'm not seeing shit back here and I think.."

"No."

Letting out a huff in annoyance, the bard knocks onto the back of the wall where Geralt is leaned against on the other side, "Y/N doesn't have to know. I'll be as still as a statue and quieter then a dormouse...she'll never even know." Exclaims Jaskier has he pauses for a second to see if Geralt gives a shit, not getting anything he continues, "Come on, this man-beast or whoever the fuck can't be that horrendous now can it right? Those villagers could have been pulling her leg for all we know, what if its just a werewolf, I mean seriously it is a full moon after all. Perfect scenario, the stars are quit literally aligning....hellooooo its gotta be a werewolf."

"It left bodies and has taken multiple women, this is something else. So I advise you to shut the fuck up." Growls Geralt over the clip clopping of the horses hooves against the hardened ground. Jaskier wisely decides to keep silent and instead look out the tiny window as a way to distract himself. He watches as a sea of trees pass by, the occasional fern cluster rising from the roots, and a reddish brown blur that goes from tree to tree.

Squinting he realizes that this mystery blur is most definitely not just a figment of his imagination and quit possibly hunting them from the tree tops. He stares on in confused bewilderment as the man like thing jumps from one branch to the next in rapid succession, although he's only able to catch a prominent glimpse of it as the moonlight catches it when it jumps. The creature looks black in the white light of the full moon, a large healthy mane of reddish brown hair flying as it lunges from tree to tree. Still too fast to fully make out.

He blinks and a second later the creature is gone, Jaskier lets out a whispered "oh shit" as he shuts the tiny window and grasps the hilt of his silver sword while hastily knocking on the carriage wall, "Geralt I saw it, I fucking saw it...Y/N wasn't lying this thing is most definitely not a werewolf."

Geralt's brows furrow in confusion as he listens to what Jaskier is rambling on about, "What did it look like?"

"Like a fucking pale monkey man wearing black with red hair or something. I don't know it happened so fast...sorry I was too busy getting my prized jewels fondled by the lovely elven lady in this carriage to notice anything else." He sasses from the back as Geralt rolls his eyes, suddenly the carriage jostles from the rear like something has angrily rammed into it.

"That wasn't me." Squeaks out Jaskier with wide eyes as he firmly clutches his sword with both hands. A moment later something fast with sharp talons whips past Geralt's head from the right as it leaves a clean slice on his cheek, and then its gone again like it never even happened. He snaps his head in the direction of the creature, too late to catch a glimpse.

Eyeing up the area around him, he braces for another unexpected assault, "Where are you?" Whispers Geralt to no one in particular as he holds onto the reigns with one hand and a sword in his other as he waits for the beast to make itself known. He can sense the nervousness radiating off of the galloping horses as he watches ahead of him, the pine trees swaying in the wind, making it increasingly more difficult to tell where the beast is coming from. On the inside of the carriage Jaskier braces for more trouble as a moment later, without warning the carriage lifts off of the ground before slamming into the dirt trail with a loud crack. The back wheels snapping off with the abrupt impact, he falls forward into the nearby cushions as the carriage skids in the dirt.

"Fuck." Mutters Geralt through clenched teeth as the horses race onward, then to his great astonishment, one of them lets out a horrific scream as a river of blood pours forth from its muscular neck by an unseen force that he must have missed when he was trying to regain his bearings after the back wheels collapsed.

He watches in confusion and slight fear as the bleeding horse clashes into the other, the both of them abruptly tripping over themselves in a screeching heap as they fall to the earth. Bringing the carriage down with them, the Witcher jumps for the safety of the ground as the vessel tips onto its side, the only live horse whining in pain as one of the broken wooden pieces lodges itself into the poor animals stomach.

Jumping to his feet, Geralt races over to the bent in door where he quickly pulls it open to reveal a bruised bard, Jaskier's sword stuck into the back wall. He smiles up to Geralt as a trail of blood seeps out of his nose, "I'm gonna be honest here, but that was not something I'd rather ever do again." He confesses as the Witcher pulls him out and onto his feet as they stand back and assess their woodland surroundings.

Suddenly they hear a branch snap from up above near the tree line where the edge of the trail begins, before a dreamy chuckle snaps their attention over to a stunning pale faced man approaching them from out of the woods. He looks at them curiously through fiery ember eyes, his long tousled reddish-brown hair hanging all about as it cascades down his muscular shoulders all the way to his lower back. On his lean slender body does he adorn himself with black attire under an equally as dark long-coat that just barely touches the frosting ground below. He's rather quite attractive all things considered, as he swaggers through the moonlight with not a weapon in sight, or anything for that matter in his gloveless hands, only but a few golden rings clinging to their master that shine in the moonlight.

He hands Geralt and Jaskier a sly grin, revealing sharp pearly white fangs as he stops a good couple yards away from them, "So you're the infamous White Wolf...and of course...his loyal bard." Inquires the mysterious vampire as he speaks in an entrancing velvety voice, his glowing irises watching their every move as he tilts his head to the side, "But alas, you lack one which I would love to grace my aged eyes upon once again." Reveals the enticing man as he looks dismally to the ground before he raises his head to smile again, his beautiful reddish hair parting perfectly onto either side of his sculpted marble face.

"Are you the one who's been killing men and taking the women?" Snaps Geralt as he points an accusing sword towards the smirking vampire.

The man merely shrugs, a single hair falling seductively over his eye as he peers through it at your Witcher, "The men are simply human cattle, barely worth the air they breath. The women on the other hand, came willingly into my open arms from their beds and rather dreary mundane lives. My compliant acquisitive lovers if you will." Assures the ember eyed vampire as he takes a step closer, Jaskier taking one back as he stands behind Geralt, the vampire smirking at him as Jaskier tries to hide.

"Don't touch the bard." Growls Geralt while holding up his silver sword defensively, "He's not worth your energy."

The vampires face changes to that of a fake pout, "Oh my dear Witcher, I admire your bravery and valor...but I'm hungry and I will get what I desire one way or another." The vampires fiery eyes darken as he races towards the two of them in a black and orange blur, Geralt and Jaskier falling helplessly onto the crunchy leaves just mere feet from one another as the vampire paces in front of them like a lion in a cage. The bloodsucker suddenly stops and watches in amusement as the two groan in pain while trying to sit up again. He tilts his head to the side like a curious wolf observing their prey, before deciding to take another step.

"Velkyn."

He halts all movement as his body goes tense for a split second before his otherworldly charming aurora surrounds him once more, with a fangy smile upon his dashing features he turns around to the low growl emitting from deep in your throat.

His orbs of hellfire trail you up and down as you glare at him, "Why don't you look stunning, my dear Y/N. How longs it been...ninety, one-hundred, two-hundred years my love?"

Your face turns into a pissed off scowl at his words, "You. Don't get to call me that, you fucking cocksucker." He unpretentiously lets out a mock gasp at your bold sharpness, amused that you're still as out-spoken and feisty as ever.

Setting a hand on his slender hip, Velkyn smiles an incredibly punchable grin, "Ouch. You haven't seen me in almost two-hundred years and the second those beautiful scarlet eyes of yours grace my body..."

"What are you doing away from Alkatraz?" You interrupt as your fists clench in agitation, "What, did they finally see how much of a piece of shit you actually are?" You snap as he sends you a nasty glare, the side of his nose scrunching up in displeasure.

"I chose to leave the coven, the Queen gave her blessing an..."

"Right. You mean she threatened you, giving yourself one chance to flee before her death-hounds tore you to shreds. Sounds more plausible." You impede as he squints at you menacingly.

Jutting out a hip, he eyes you up once again, "Very clever, princess. No matter....you will leave me alone and I will continue on my marry way as things have gone on, before you decided to ruin everything."

Letting out an amused chuckle, you slowly unsheathe your silver dagger, "You're nothing but a cantankerous infant, murdering innocents....seducing the women while having your fun and sucking them of their life force." He tilts his head up as his flaming irises never once leave your face, "I know they didn't go willingly you fucking diseased little cunt....I'm rather going to enjoy as I watch the lights go out, leaving you as nothing more then food for maggots." Velkyn hums in irritation before swiftly turning around and bolting for Geralt and Jaskier.

But before he's able to reach them you're at his side, throwing him into a tree as he smacks into the tough wood with a clash of bark and limbs. Once he's onto his two feet again, he looks up just as you violently grab his shoulders and in one fluid motion, throw him across the forest floor. Geralt and Jaskier watching on with wide eyes the whole time.

"Fuck me, you still have it." Sputters Velkyn as a single red streak of blood trails down the side of his mouth. You smirk at this pathetic excuse of a vampire as you race towards him in a blur, he tries to retreat but before he can even get up off of the ground you've already cracked your boot against his skull. He tumbles in the dirt with a pained grunt, suddenly flying up to his feet in an instant as he growls at you. Within seconds he's thrust you into the trunk of a tree as your dagger falls from your hand at the sudden impact, he tightly grasps onto your arms as he throws you harshly upon the trail, leaving you dazed and more furious then ever.

"Not as clever as you'd like to think you are Y/N, I drink human blood. You don't." He brashly affirms as he watches you pick yourself up from the ground, dirt and blood smeared against your face. Licking the bloody cut now adorning your bottom lip, you mockingly chuckle at him, earning a puzzled expression across his pale features while the slice in your skin heals.

"You can't kill me." The whites of your eyes begin shifting to an obsidian black as your skin turns a greyish blue color, "I am Y/N of Alkatraz, the Vampire Queens only daughter....do that again and I'll rip out your entrails while you scream for death."

Velkyn hisses before turning himself into a half man half bat-like creature, face a contortion of bat and human man, his skin a milky pale as a large pair of webbed wings emit from his back. He suddenly screeches at you before spreading out his wings, readying himself to take flight. Doing what you know must be done to prevent his escape you shift yourself into a similar form, a pair of greyish blue wings stretching out from your back muscles as you thrust yourself into the air, just as Velkyn reaches the tops of the tree branches.

Gaining on him in no time, you grasp his pale human sized bat leg, he snaps his grotesque bat-like face down to you while you growl at him from below, "Fuck do you think you're going?" You snap before pulling him down to the harsh forest floor, he lands roughly onto his back as your legs fall to either side of him.

Growling in fury he quickly shoots up his talons in an attempt at clawing at your chest and face, but before he's able to commit anymore damage. You've ripped open his exposed stomach with a single slash of your claws, a second later he lets out a blood curdling shriek as a hot river of red pours out of him, his insides beginning to seep out just the same.

In a desperate last attempt to injure you, his eyes go wide in raging madness as his free arm lunges for your neck, you see it coming a mile away. So in retaliation you quickly pin his arms to the ground as you sink your fangs deep into his pale neck as he cries out in agony at your vicious assault. You feed on him until he's gone limp, your more primal hunger taking over your vessel until you abruptly catch the familiar scent of your Witcher and fearful bard.

Releasing Velkyn's mutilated throat, you shift back into your normal self as blood drips down from your chin and neck, tiny red droplets plopping onto the frosty hardened earth below like warm raindrops on a spring afternoon. Breathing heavily you avoid their suffocating gazes that you're sure are terrified from what you've just done.

"Uh, Y/N. You alright?" Wonders Jaskier as you slowly trail your crimson eyes upon his concerned face. You're confident that you look like a wild animal right now, with your hair a mess, clothes dirty, and half your face covered in blood. But nonetheless they look at you kindly, their brows furrowing in worry for your well-being.

Geralt suddenly makes eye contact with you before reaching down to pick up your forgotten silver dagger, he takes a step forward as he reaches out the dagger in your direction.

On instinct you glide backwards, setting your boots upon the ground once more as your Witcher frowns, "Y/N I wouldn't dare lay a hand upon you.." He assures with sincere pleading eyes as you look down to the grass below. Slowly lifting your blood covered hands into your line of sight, you stare at them with wide saddened eyes as tiny beads of ruby falls to the ground.

"My hands, they're covered in..."

"I know," Your eyes trail up to find his golden irises, "come on there's a stream down the trail, we'll get you cleaned up. Then we can go to the tavern and sleep until the next evening if that's what you'd like" Assures Geralt with a gentle smile upon his handsome face, he understands how much of a monster you truly feel right now, so he's willing to do whatever he can to bring you a bit of comfort in this overwhelming moment.

You let out a tired huff of air as he slowly approaches you, his face so close to yours you could almost touch him, but you don't considering you're covered in blood, "I think I'll take you on that offer, but could you stop looking at me with those pretty eyes of yours before I lose my self control. You're doing it again." You muse with a small smile upon your blood stained face.

"And what would you do then?" He challenges in that lowly voice of his, those big amber eyes taking you all in no matter how grisly your state of being is.

Smiling up at him through your pearly white fangs you lean in close, "Then I would mark you as all mine, in my own way of course. You'd love it without a doubt in my mind." He blinks, a lovestruck expression crossing over his features with a brief flash of lust hidden in his golden eyes while he leans in a tad closer. Your faces so close that you can see every little beautiful blemish and scar adorning his skin as his eyes swallow you whole.

"Uh guys? Can we...you know....leave. I don't know if you've noticed but we have two dead horses and a bloody monster corpse within smelling distance. And wheew, it is not a pleasant scent." Interrupts Jaskier, breaking the intimate moment between you and Geralt as you take a step back to laugh. Geralt's loving gaze following you the whole time before he turns around to glare at the oblivious bard.

—-

Laying your tired head against the soft pillows of the warm tavern's bed, you look up to the wooden beamed ceiling as Geralt holds you close by his side, a protective muscly arm pinning you to the mattress. Not that you'd mind or anything, in fact it feels rather pleasant after your taxing encounter with an old acquaintance of yours just last night.

You sleepily close your eyelids as you listen to the soft snores emitting from your dreaming Witcher, a blissful smile forming onto your lips as he pulls you closer in his sleep. Maybe life in this mystery box of a Continent isn't so bad when you have someone like Geralt to take care of you when things get a bit out of hand.

And with you, that seems to happen a lot.

-

Tagged:  @notahappytree​ @ashleyforeverareject​ @sokkasdarling​ @kmuir1​​@haleypearce @diegos-butt​​ (@auds24 sorry idk why ur name won’t work)

[arhvste]

❝ effortless ❞

masterlist!

01 -> 02

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

an -> this is the longest chapter i will be including in the series, i just needed to get the base for the plot down i promise i’m not gonna make you all read 2467 words every update !!

drowned out chatter faded the further you wandered down the halls towards the place you’d practically be calling your second home for the next year and-a-half. your arms swung slightly by your side as footsteps strode from behind.

“ya know,” atsumu piped up suddenly, taking in your optimistic aura. “this isn’t gonna be the most glamorous job.”

“i’m more than aware.” you shot back not letting the pseudo blonds comments dampen your approach to the new position you’d been approached to take.

despite being a well-known volleyball team with notably talented players, inarizaki had yet to fill the role of a team manager with them ultimately dismissing the role and disregarding the hopes and intentions of finding someone willing to take the role seriously and with the right intentions of being a team manager. they had applications sent in, a flood of them to be precise, but alas, majority of the applications were just desperate attempts from girls just trying to find away to inch a little closer to the miya twins. the few that weren’t from the mass of girls were from other students but their applications were either filled in wrong or their availability wasn’t compatible enough to work with the club.

“i don’t get why yer so eager to start. yer gonna have to do things like fill up water bottles and wash the bibs we use for practice.” osamu commented as you hummed dismissively towards his attempts to break your spirit.

“because, i don't have to be referred into an actual club by my homeroom teacher now and your mom said you two will be helping me take care of the… less dignified, aspects of the role now. that means washing your smelly kit and towels. remember?”

atsumu scoffed while osamu settled with a short huff of annoyance. that was indeed part of the deal you had made when the twins had requested your assistance in the team.

you had been close friends with the talented twins for as long as you could remember. you’d even go as far as to say you were practically the third miya sibling. raised and grown up together tightly, the three of you stayed knitted together up to the present day. you were someone the two boys felt reliant on, but they were also ready to drop their own activities should you need their assistance. you were well-liked by the twins and that was something the majority of the student body envied but not to the point where they’d say anything and risk having one or worse, both, the boys overhearing them bad-mouthing you and result in them to take the situation into their own hands.

it was atsumu who had first suggested you become the team manager a few weeks prior to the present moment. you were attending another regular visit to the miya residence and atsumu had brought it up over dinner with yourself and his family.

“hey, we kinda need a manager. i think kita’s gettin’ a little stressed cause nationals will be approaching soon and they didn’t have one last year either.” atsumu looked up at you as you had a mouthful of rice.

you momentarily glared at him for turning all attention over to you when he clearly knew you were eating. you swallowed and shook your head at the boy sat across the table to you.

“i dunno, that seems like a big commitment.”

“i mean, i won't lie to ya it is, but being in any club is a commitment so ya might as well join one yer more likely to enjoy.” osamu chimed in as his mother caught your attention.

“don’t let the boys pressure ya. i think it would be nice if ya did it though darlin. both boys can walk ya home after and samu’s right. joining as their manager is better than being put into a club ya might not like attending seeing as yer yet to join any extra curriculum.”

you whined and leaned back in the soft wooden chair in the miya’s homey dining room.

“you just said not to let the boys pressure me and then joined in yourself!”

mrs miya laughed and waved off your complaint. “they get it from me, what can i say.”

you glanced up from the now softly steaming food to face the two boys across from you. atsumu had a soft but still smug smile painted across his face while osamu wore a slightly sympathetic yet hopeful expression on his. you were almost ready to give into the pair right then and there but ultimately decided that if you were to brush up on the rules of volleyball, the twins were going to have to brush up on the rules of you too.

“fine.” you stated to which atsumu smiled brightly too. “i’ll be your manager since i really don’t want to be assigned to any other club but,” you paused and didn't miss the way their eyes darted back to yours. “i’m not washing your disgusting training stuff and the towels. i also don’t want a hoard of your fangirls stampeding over me at any given moment and lastly, i get my own room for overnight stays when we have to attend matches that take place further away. comprende?”

atsumu shrugged and agreed to your terms as osamu followed suit. “great,” you finally smiled a little. “talk to kita and i’ll get started with it whenever he deems suitable.”

mr and mrs miya sent thankful smiles your way to which you softly returned before turning back to your meal completely unaware as to what chaos you had just unknowingly brought upon yourself.

back to the current moment, you stopped outside the two large doors leading into the spacious gym with slight hesitation. the small crack between the doors gave you the first exposure to the area you’d be finding yourself more familiar with from now on.

“what's the hold up?” atsumu queered looking down at your now thoughtful looking expression. “ya were excited to get started just a moment ago weren’t ya?”

you bit the inside of your cheek as your palm lay rested upon the flat surface of the gym door. “i don’t think excited is the word, but you think i’ll do fine right?” you frowned slightly, internally scolding yourself for letting such intrusive thoughts invade your mind just before you were about to introduce yourself to which would be ‘your boys’ in the fast approaching future.

“we wouldn’t have asked ya if we didn’t think it would be a role fit for ya.” osamu replied, resting his hands behind his head. you scoffed and shot a look from behind you towards the grey haired twin. “liar, you two just wanted someone to wash your gross kit.” atsumu snorted before ruffling your hair, stirring irritation inside of you. “think yer the one whose forgotten our end of the deal where we agreed to help ya out with this. we’re in this with ya together now, let's get movin’.”

atsumu left you no time to protest as he pushed the doors open having it swing widely so the gym lights flooded the slightly dimmer hallway giving anyone looking a perfect view of the three of you. heads turned in your general direction as a result of the minor scene the blond had caused leaving osamu to only roll his eyes and for you to stand meekly between the twins as atsumu ushered you inside the clean smelling gym.

“this is y/n, the new manager i said we had gotten you!” a proud smile tugged on atsumus lips as the other boys looked you up and down as if you were some sort of animal being fawned over in a petting zoo.

“shut up! you didn’t get me, i agreed on my own terms!” you hissed at the setter elbowing his side slightly. osamu snickered at your public scolding towards his twin as the rest of the team began to gather round. kita sent an apologetic look your way as he approached you with a firm hand.

“it’s nice to finally meet you l/n-san. please take care of us and we’ll do the same.” his voice calm but transparently clear, you had never met someone so genuine and almost proper in your life. “likewise.” you smiled taking his hand to give him a confident shake in greeting. leaving you with a firm nod to depart from you and talk to the coach, kita gave you one last look of what you could’ve read as thankful but you weren’t completely sure. the better you got acquainted with these boys, the better you’d be able to read them which was your first goal set in becoming a manager they could rely on the same way the twins did.

aran was next to approach you with a clearly thankful smile. “i haven’t seen ya around in a while y/n, good to see yer the one the twins informed on the empty role.” you smiled back at the ace and placed your hands behind your back. you were already well acquainted with aran due to the twins association with him from a young age. back then, yourself and the twins came as a package deal whenever suited so you had been introduced to the ace from a younger age and had built up the same respect for him as the twins had.

“i wouldn’t say informed but more of a pressured attack on me.” aran grinned at you as atsumu retaliated with a “not true!” from across the courts where he was helping set up the net. “either way, good to see ya here. nice to have the three miyas in one place.” you scoffed in amusement before waving off the comment.

after being thoroughly introduced to a handful of members before practice had officially started, you sat down on the bench beside the coach as he went through the basics of the game as the boys played. you already knew a handful of rules and techniques to the game which was a given considering just how close you were to atsumu and osamu, but you were grateful for the refresher as you observed the players and took your first attempt in noting down particular quirks and techniques you noticed each boy possess.

training lasted 2 hours which was longer than the usual club activities but you understood that the volleyball team were a particularly important asset to the school so it was only natural they’d be granted more time for extracurricular. osamu was the first to approach you with a towel wrapped around his neck. “so,” he said before wiping any excess sweat on his face. “what did ya think?” you smiled and took the towel from his hands before tossing it into the nearby laundry bin.

“it was… a lot better than i thought it was going to be.” you meant that earnestly. it was a little overwhelming at first that you’d assume anyone would find that understandable seeing as you had practically been thrown into the deep end with a group of boys you were not particularly familiar with. “that's good then. glad we convinced ya?” yourself and osamu wandered towards the door leading towards the boys changing rooms where their bags were kept. “for now.” you stopped outside the door and nodded for osamu to head in with the other players. he hummed content with your reply before following suit with the small litter of players entering through the door to retrieve their things.

you waited 5 minutes for the boys to leave the changing room before saying your thanks and goodbyes to the team you were slowly getting more to grips with. it was going to take a while to get into the swing of things but you were certain you’d find enjoyment in it somewhere along the line seeing as your first practice wasn’t awful.

the three of you chattered among yourself as usual with atsumu dominating most of the conversation and osamu only butting in to contradict his brother. you were as always, in between the two boys as they asked you how you found it and what you thought. after reassuring them for the 6th time, they gave in and accepted your answer as genuine. despite not saying anything, they were a little guilty after springing such a heavy role on you but they knew you’d pull through no matter the circumstances so they were ultimately satisfied in their choice.

“practice was intense, but i kinda liked it.” you hummed as you walked under the dim street lights illuminating the paths ahead.

“yeah i guess it was, it’s not always like this though. i think some of them were a little more into it seeing as you were there today.” osamu mentioned as he stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets.

“you think?” you raised an eyebrow as atsumu sighed.

“i know that’s the case. you practically had the same effect kita has on all of us. not me though, i’m always good whether yer there to watch or not.”

“i’m sure you are.” you chimed as the three of you approached your street. “ya know who was playin’ a little intensely today though?” osamu raised an eyebrow to his brother's question. “who?”

“suna. he seemed a little more into it today.”

you raised an eyebrow in question as you looked back to glance at atsumu. “who’s suna?”. atsumu hummed as he began to describe the fellow second year. “tall, six foot one i mean, dark moppy hair, kinda hunches over when he’s standin’.” you thought back to the players you had been vaguely acquainted with within the past few hours. your mind touched upon every player's face you recalled until it landed on a certain face you were sure fit atsumu’s description. “number 10?” osamu hummed, confirming your hypothesis correct. “wonder what got into him though, his surroundings don’t usually motivate him unless he’s explicitly told to stop slackin’ maybe he just had an off day.” the grey haired twin suggested to which atsumu agreed. you shrugged as the three of you stopped outside the front of your own house.

“well, training was an absolute delight. see you both tomorrow.” you waved the boys off as atsumu sneered at your borderline sarcastic comment. “stop lyin’ ya loved it and are thankful we picked ya really!”

you laughed at his call out comment as osamu waved and ushered his brother away before you closed your front door shut before leaning back on the door for a moment.

suna huh? well, if your job was to analyse the players and pick out when they were having off days, you’d just have to start watching their number 10 a little closer.

taglist! : @inakou @tsukkaria @al3x1ss @elianetsantana @archivednikes @tendo-sxtori @haajime @moonlightangel @tetsukuroosgf @lexysclubhouse @your-consulting-fangirl @chibichab @brokeasshoee

— italics means i was unable to tag !!

— please send an ask to be added to taglist !!

[closedafterdark]

Your fromis stuff is so good. Since I've never seen it any chance we could get a Seoyeon smut, getting fucked in front of someone, maybe one of her bandmates?

"Thanks for having us over, oppa”

“Yeah, we haven’t seen Saerom unnie since you two moved in together”

Lee Seoyeon and Lee Chaeyoung were younger friends of your girlfriend and two people you have gotten close to while dating Saerom.

“Nothing hits the spot like a good beer” Seoyeon said after she grabbed a can from your fridge and drank a generous amount. She let out a satisfying hum, burping loudly as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Gross! Can’t you behave? We’re guests here at oppa and Saerom unnie’s place” Chaeyoung said to Seoyeon, nudging her.

The two of them were bickering on your couch while you smiled and sat on one of the adjacent lounge chairs. Seoyeon’s husky voice was something you were always fond of. Chaeyoung was extremely playful, but there to listen whenever you needed someone to talk to. You were thankful both accepted you into their friend group.

“Oppa, can I explore the apartment?” Chaeyoung asked.

“Sure, but there isn’t much to see. Saerom and I are going to go shopping in a few days”

“Can we come?” Chaeyoung asked in an excited tone.

“Sure” you laughed. “But wouldn’t it be too boring for you guys?”

“Oppa! Chaeng and I have a good eye for interior design. Saerom unnie was helpless without us”

“Wow your bedroom is so big, oppa!” Chaeyoung said from inside.

“Oppa, what’s this?” she asked, holding up a large pink phallic shaped device.

“Dummy, that’s unnie’s vibrator!” Seoyeon said, grabbing it. “Oppa, why would Saerom unnie need this when you two live together?”

“I, uh...”

“You dummy” Chaeyoung said, pushing Seoyeon’s head down. “It’s not like they have sex every single waking moment. Right?”

Both women look at you, wide eyed.

“I don’t really feel comfortable talking about this with you guys...”

“Oh come on, oppa. We’re all adults here. How is Saerom unnie like in bed?”

“Not you too, Chaeng?”

Chaeyoung looked at you, blushing before turning away.

“I’m kinda curious. Her body is so nice and she was popular amongst the guys”

The air condition turned on thanks to the automatic timer. You feel the cold breeze fill the room as both women continued to stare.

“Does she know what you like in bed like I do?” Seoyeon suddenly asked.

“What are you talking about?” Chaeyoung asked.

Seoyeon shot you a knowing look. You pleaded with your eyes for Seoyeon not to say anything, she simply smiled and mouthed that it would be alright.

“Oppa and I... hooked up before he began dating Saerom unnie”

Chaeyoung gasped.

“We never made things official. Just... whenever one of us needed to relieve stress, the other came right away”

Seoyeon flashed you a look you knew all too well. From both her and Saerom. Chaeyoung had a suspicion what was going on which was confirmed by Seoyeon’s next statement.

“I have been feeling stressed out lately. Why don’t we burn it off, for old time’s sake?”

“S-Saerom’s gonna be home soon” you stuttered.

“Shh, it’s okay oppa. I’m sure you’ll feel real good after”

“I think I should leave...” Chaeyoung said.

“Where are you going?” Seoyeon asked in her charming husky voice. “Why don’t you stay... and watch”

Chaeyoung’s eyes widen as she suddenly began to choke on her own spit.

“What? That’s pretty weird don’t you think?”

“Nonsense, I’m sure oppa wouldn’t mind. Plus, you talked about wanting to have more experiences pleasuring a guy”

Seoyeon gets up from the couch and stands in front of you. Tilting your head up by placing a hand under your chin, you see her warm smile before she begins kissing you softly. Her lips smack against yours, you taste the faint trace of beer and strawberry lip gloss. She suddenly takes control, shoving her tongue inside your mouth as it asserts dominance.

She removes your tank top, throwing it onto Chaeyoung’s lap before getting on her knees in front of you. Seoyeon takes her time in untying your joggers, before yanking them and your boxer briefs downwards. She traces the tip of your cock with her finger, smiling as she feels it twitch from her touch. The cool air feels nice on your extremely hard erection. She kisses your tip before discarding your remaining clothes at a different part of the room.

You both hear a gasp and turn to see where it was coming from. Chaeyoung’s mouth was wide open as Seoyeon shoots a naughty smirk at her. Not wanting to wait any longer, Seoyeon starts at the base of your cock and licks upwards.

“That feels good” you moaned, watching as she gave you slow flicks with her tongue. She takes her time in order to lather your cock nicely. Stroking you in concurrence with her tongue, Seoyeon draws circles on your tip. Precum began leaking out of your slit, which she happily consumes. Once she’s assured your cock is fully erect, she takes it in her mouth. Her extremely soft lips wrap around your head and form an airtight seal. You look over at Chaeyoung and see that her eyes have not left your cock.

“His cock is really nice, isn’t it?” Seoyeon asked Chaeyoung while stroking you, smiling sweetly at her.

All Chaeyoung could do is nod, a bit nervous at how the whole situation unfolded. Seoyeon kisses your tip before bringing you back inside her warm mouth. She strokes you while sucking on your tip and a few inches. Seoyeon massages your balls, remembering you enjoyed the feeling the first time you two had sex. You accidentally came too quickly, which left you embarrassed but Seoyeon found rather sweet. It seemed the whole room was entertained watching Seoyeon orally pleasure you, as Chaeyoung stuck a hand down her shorts and began rubbing herself.

Seoyeon’s hand withdraws from your shaft as she begins taking you fully in her mouth. You feel your tip reach the back of her throat as she begins bobbing her head up and down with ease. Your cock is getting drenched by the saliva she pooled in her mouth. Chaeyoung’s soft moans could be heard as she looked on in amazement at Seoyeon sucking your cock and deepthroating you.

You tilted your head back on the lounge chair as your hands run through Seoyeon’s wavy black hair.

“Fuck... Seoyeon, that feels so good. Just as I remembered”

She always did give you extremely sloppy and wet blowjobs. She loved seeing her saliva drip from your cock. Her tongue flicks on the underside of your head, every bob of her head providing you with the feeling of pure ecstasy. When you two used to be friends with benefits, Seoyeon loved teasing you. Her blowjobs were extremely slow, lust filled. She especially loved edging you. But with Chaeyoung watching, she had to put on a show. She wanted you to remember why no one could give blowjobs better than she can.

“That looks... pretty good” Chaeyoung moaned.

Seoyeon is unable to respond, her mouth stuffed with cock as your balls collide with her chin.

“Seoyeon’s had a lot of practice... She hasn’t lost her touch”

Seoyeon’s blowjob skills have constantly been increasing ever since the first time she gave you one. During your unofficial relationship, she made sure to suck your cock everywhere she could: hotel rooms, various restrooms, lingerie dressing rooms, a few beaches.

One time, Seoyeon sucked your cock at the outdoor pool of the hotel you two were staying at during a weekend getaway. You were scared people might see, but Seoyeon was able to curl her body tight enough that you could cover her with a blanket. You almost got caught when you came in her mouth as the poolside waitress asked what drink you wanted. It didn’t help that you placed your hand on top of her head as well. When the waitress walked away, Seoyeon removed the blanket and smiled. She opened her mouth and showed you your cum before swallowing it all. You were equal parts scared and aroused.

“Have you ever given a blowjob before, Chaeng?” Seoyeon asked as she released your cock with a loud pop while beginning to stroke you.

“N-Not really. I’ve done it twice, but I don’t think I was good. The guy didn’t seem to have a reaction like oppa’s”

“Hey, I doubt you were that bad. Why don’t you come here and practice on oppa. I’ll be right next to you, guiding you through it”

Chaeyoung nervously stands up and kneels in front of you. Seoyeon gathers Chaeyoung’s long brown hair to the left side of her head as you both make eye contact. You smile at her, doing your best to reassure her that everything would be alright.

“Start with the tip, baby. Just use your tongue” Seoyeon said.

Chaeyoung nods and sticks out her tongue, bringing it to your tip. She paints strokes around your now swollen head, before moving in a counterclockwise motion. Looking at Seoyeon for approval, her soft fingers take ahold of your cock and bring it closer to her mouth. She begins sucking on your tip, wanting to do her best to please you.

“Am I doing okay?” she asked you with big, round eyes.

“You’re doing great. Try taking a bit more into your mouth this time” you said.

Chaeyoung continues, trying her best to pleasure you.

“Good girl” Seoyeon said. “But try keeping your eyes on him as you suck”

Chaeyoung’s eyes shined as she made eye contact with you, her brown hair flying as she begins to bob her head up and down after finding her rhythm. You questioned if she really didn’t know how to give blowjobs as she did a very good job at imitating Seoyeon. You preferred Seoyeon’s fuller lips and how sloppy she was, but Chaeyoung had a longer tongue and her mouth felt a bit warmer. Seoyeon was someone you always found attractive, but Chaeyoung was no slouch in the looks department. There was just something so erotic about the juxtaposition of a beautiful woman committing a wonderful sin by having a cock in her mouth.

Seoyeon is never one to just stand by, using her tongue on the underside of your shaft and making long licks downwards to your balls. You let out a long, drawn out moan as she takes each one into her mouth. She loudly slurps on them, knowing you love them being played with. She knew you loved when she blew hot breath on them, sending shivers throughout your body.

“That feels so good, you two”

You questioned what you did to deserve two beautiful women on their knees pleasuring your lower body. They made wonderful use of their tongues and mouths, as every part of your shaft and balls was covered in their saliva. You held onto Chaeyoung’s head, guiding her rhythm.

She decided to be more bold, wanting to take more than just your tip inside her mouth. Her lips surround your cock, drenching it in her spit. Her head bobs up and down as Seoyeon takes both of your balls in her mouth at the same time.

“You’re doing so well, Chaeng. But do you think I can have him alone for just a bit? I’m really horny and it’s been awhile since I’ve been dicked down by him”

“He’s all yours” Chaeyoung said.

“What position should I start off with, baby?” Seoyeon asked you in a soft tone.

“From behind, I think. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen that round ass”

“Sure thing, baby” Seoyeon giggled.

Seoyeon strips out of her clothes, showing off her petite body. She wasn’t as thick as Saerom or Jisun, but she still had the perfect amount of meat in the right places. Her boobs and ass also couldn’t rival them, but they were able to fit perfectly in your hand. Her tummy was extremely toned, you came many loads onto it whenever she didn’t want you to finish inside her.

Chaeyoung removed her shorts and panties as she watched Seoyeon straddle onto your lap. She gave you a quick peck and smiled.

“Fuck me, baby”

You caressed both of her soft ass cheeks before giving them a squeeze. Seoyeon knew you loved her ass, often wearing extremely short shorts or bending over during your dates. You two have done anal a few times, but you decided regular sex would be better as to not overwhelm Chaeyoung.

As you spread Seoyeon’s legs and feel up her thighs, she moans once you part her pussy lips and collect the juices that have begun leaking out. You grab your cock and slap it outside her entrance several times. Running out of patience, Seoyeon grabs your cock from your hand and strokes it before pushing you inside her.

“Oh fuck...” you both moaned.

Seoyeon was extremely tight. Saerom would murder you if she learned you didn’t think she was the tightest you’ve ever had. Her warm and wet walls wrap themselves around your cock, as her juices lubricate you. You grab onto Seoyeon’s hips as you feel her pussy adjust.

Chaeyoung was getting aroused as well, one hand squeezing her breast while the other began rubbing her clit.

Seoyeon doesn’t bother making sure she’s fully accustomed to you as she begins bouncing on your cock. You guide her by holding her hips, her ass smacking your balls each time they make contact. Seoyeon’s husky voice increases in volume and range as it echoed the entire living room. Chaeyoung’s normally hyperactive and playful attitude was now uncharacteristically quiet as you almost forgot she was in the room. Your full attention was on the beautiful woman bouncing up and down your cock.

Chaeyoung was still a bit surprised, her she was half naked watching her two friends have sex with each other. She knew Seoyeon had a carefree spirit, but didn’t know you two had any history before you started dating Saerom. She was a bit aroused at the sight as she inserted a finger inside her pussy.

“Baby, fuck! That feels so good. You’re fucking me so hard! Pound this slutty pussy until I cum all over your cock!”

Seoyeon’s vulgar words aroused everyone in the room as the air conditioning did nothing to cool the hot sex occurring. Every entrance of your cock inside her felt even better than the last. She began to have shallow breaths as she felt you fill her up. A thin layer of sweat began to form on her skin as both of your bodies were fluid through the connection of your hips.

You look over to Chaeyoung and see she has now removed her spaghetti strap, playing with her perky breasts. You grab Seoyeon’s breasts, causing her to moan as the two of you establish a rhythm for her to be fucked. Pleasure fills her body as she moans for you to fuck her harder.

“Fuck! Baby, I’m about to cum. Your cock is going to make me cum so much”

You bounce Seoyeon even faster as she lets out a deafening scream, watching as the orgasm hits her intensely. Her hips buck and her whole body shakes. You almost thought your cock was going to get pushed out as her juices flood your cock. Seoyeon was extremely wet, riding out her climax slowly as you see her catching her breath.

Chaeyoung’s mouth was wide open. She had never had an orgasm that intense, it was something special to see it happen to someone else. She was a bit jealous, wanting to experience such a euphoric high.

“Fuck... baby, that was so intense. It’s as good as I remembered” Seoyeon’s voice beginning to crack. Her legs became fluid, she never experienced an orgasm like that even when you two were together. She leaned down and kissed you softly.

“Tsk, tsk. Needy Chaeng touching herself. Why don’t you fuck her, baby? Show her what’s she’s been missing” Seoyeon said to you in between kisses.

Both of you moan as Seoyeon lifts her hips off your cock as you feel sad you were no longer inside her tight pussy.

“Why don’t you turn around and bend over for oppa, Chaeng”

“O-Okay”

Seoyeon surprises Chaeyoung by instead crashing their lips together. She is surprised when Chaeyoung tried inserting her tongue inside Seoyeon’s mouth. She isn’t used to someone wanting to have control instead of her.

Seoyeon’s finger traces Chaeyoung’s flat stomach, sending shivers throughout her body. She cups her breasts and rubs her sensitive nipples through her fingertips. As she pinches them, Chaeyoung moans.

Chaeyoung’s lips are captured once more as she begins a trail of kisses starting from her lips and slowly descends down her neck, chest and stomach. Seoyeon looks up and smiles seductively at Chaeyoung.

“Now let’s part these legs open and see what you have to offer”

Seoyeon grabs a hair tie from her wrist and quick makes a ponytail. She rubs Chaeyoung’s thighs, kissing the inner creases of her thighs to try and calm her down. While Chaeyoung was not a virgin, it was easy to tell from her body language that she hasn’t been intimate with too many people.

Seoyeon traces her middle finger up and down Chaeyoung’s slit. Collecting the leaking precum, she slowly enters Chaeyoung’s pussy. Her walls were extremely tight, Seoyeon wasn’t sure if she would be able to remove her finger.

“Baby, this innocent slut is so tight! I’m sure you’ll love fucking her. I hate to admit it, but she’s tighter than I am. Look at how wet she is, though!”

Seoyeon smiles and pulls out her finger, glistening in the light as it is covered in Chaeyoung’s juices.

Seoyeon adds another finger to Chaeyoung’s pussy, causing her to moan as she begins thrusting in and out of her in a rhythm. Her moans increased every time she felt a new sensation.

“Baby, she’s so wet. I’ll make sure she’s primed for that cock of yours”

Having had enough, Seoyeon dives in. She gives one strong lick outside of Chaeyoung’s pussy before tasting her juices. Chaeyoung’s moans were a wonderful reward. The next few minutes were quiet except for Chaeyoung’s moans and juices splashing. Seoyeon’s tongue worked wonders as Chaeyoung began to lose herself more and more.

One rather loud slurp causes Chaeyoung’s body to squirm.

 The erotic sight of Seoyeon eating out Chaeyoung made your cock erect once more. You wanted to join, but didn’t want to take your eyes off such a wonderful view. Seoyeon was doing her best to make sure Chaeyoung was comfortable and feeling good, wanting her to be fully relaxed for you.

“Baby, do you want to taste her? She tastes really sweet”

“I thought you’d never ask”

Seoyeon giggles as she kisses you, giving you a preview of what was coming. You take her spot between Chaeyoung’s legs as your tongue flicks her clit. You didn’t find her as sweet as Seoyeon, but she still tasted good nonetheless.

Seoyeon was a bit more aggressive in eating Chaeyoung’s pussy while you were gentler and took your time to appreciate your food. Several minutes pass by as you enjoy the taste and feel of Chaeyoung’s pussy. You feel a soft hand wrap around your cock and hear the voice of who it belongs to.

“Baby, that’s enough. I want this not so innocent slut’s cum for myself”

Seoyeon’s mouth returns between Chaeyoung’s legs, firmly gripping her thighs as she devours her pussy.

“S-Seoyeon!” Chaeyoung screamed.

Seoyeon wanted Chaeyoung to go crazy for her, wanting her to experience an orgasm just as intense as the one you gave her.

“U-Unnie...” she moaned. You knew Chaeyoung only called Seoyeon that whenever she wanted something despite the two only having a four month difference in age. But now she apparently uses that title in the bedroom as well.

Chaeyoung’s body begins to shake as her legs wrap themselves around Seoyeon’s head. The pressure built up inside her body proves to be too much as she grabs the back of Seoyeon’s head and pushes her deeper. Her hips buck as the pleasure washes through her entire body. Seoyeon drinks up as much of Chaeyoung’s juices as she can, wanting her orgasm to continue.

“How did that feel, Chaeng?” Seoyeon said as she looked up, juices covering her mouth and cheeks. Chaeyoung’s body heaved as she tried to catch her breath.

“That was so good... you were amazing, unnie”

Seoyeon returned to you and kissed you, letting you taste Chaeyoung’s juices.

“Baby, it’s your turn. Pound her”

You replace Seoyeon once again as you gently turn Chaeyoung over and spread her legs. You part her lips with the tip of your cock, softly penetrating her before you fully enter inside. Chaeyoung moans loudly as she feels you fill her. Her walls hug your cock as her juices flood your shaft.

You thought Seoyeon was tight, but she wasn’t lying when she said Chaeyoung was much tighter. Seoyeon was a wet girl, making it easy for you to enter her despite how tight she was. Chaeyoung on the other hand, you were worried you were hurting her.

“Does that feel good, Chaeng? Being fucked for real” Seoyeon asked.

“It... does, unnie”

“Tell oppa what you want him to do to you”

“F... F... Fuck me” she finally managed to stutter. “Fuck me, please. I’ll be alright”

“See baby? I told you she wasn’t so innocent. Go ahead, fuck this slut”

Your cock enters Chaeyoung’s pussy, pushing deep inside. You withdraw yourself until only your tip is inside her before filling her to the brim once more. Chaeyoung cries out in pleasure every time you enter her.

“Oppa, you feel so good... Keep going”

Her voice begins to fade away as each thrust makes her lose herself to her inner desires. Your hands grab onto her hips as you begin to establish a rhythm. The apartment is deathly quiet except for the air conditioner and the sounds of your skin slapping against each other. You both feel you are about to cum soon.

Seoyeon’s addiction to sex prompts her to suck on Chaeyoung’s neck, positioning her body in a way that she doesn’t interrupt you two. She soon works her way down to Chaeyoung’s breasts, taking each in her mouth while biting on her nipples softly.

The feeling of being overstimulated is proving to be too much for Chaeyoung. Her walls constrict your cock as you feel another sudden rush of her juices.

“Oppa, I’m cumming! Fuck me harder!”

Chaeyoung’s orgasm is just as intense as Seoyeon’s. Her body spams as her screams ring through both you and Seoyeon’s ears. Seoyeon holds onto Chaeyoung’s shoulders forcing her down on your cock as she rides out her orgasm.

Aftershocks can still be felt on your cock, which end up being the trigger for your own orgasm. You felt your balls ready to be unloaded.

“Seoyeon, I’m about to cum”

Seoyeon removes Chaeyoung from your cock as you watched her freshly fucked pussy glistening with her juices. Seoyeon grabs your cock, wanting to be the one who helps you release your cum. She makes her and Chaeyoung kneel in front of you, eagerly awaiting your load.

“Cum for us, baby. Shower this slut with your hot load like you used to do to me”

She beings stroking you hard and fast. Three final strokes was all it took for you to erupt. You felt thick, hot ropes of white semen escape your cock. Seoyeon made sure to position you in front of Chaeyoung’s face. The first load painted a large rope from her cheek to her forehead. The next one covered her nose and eyes. You moaned as you felt yourself empty onto Chaeyoung’s pretty face. Seoyeon continues stroking you until she feels the aftershocks subsisde. You collapse back onto the lounge chair, exhausted.

Seoyeon begins licking off your cum from Chaeyoung’s face, not wanting it to go to waste. Chaeyoung opens her eyes and does her best to consume your load as well, not wanting to share. Seoyeon gives her a deep kiss before both women turn to you and open their mouths, showing you how much of your cum they have before simultaneously swalloing.

“How was your first sexual experience with oppa, Chaeng?”

“It was amazing. I want more. Oh by the way, unnie. Why didn’t you two end up together?”

“That’s a story for a different day. Come on, we have to all get cleaned up before Saerom gets home”

[bitsandbobsandstuff]

Right there

Summary: Love stories aren’t always grand, sweeping epics. Sometimes they come soft and slow, made up of a million different things, and you may not even recognize what you have until it’s right there in front of you. This is one of those stories.

Characters: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Brief mission related trauma. Oreo thievery and dirty bubblegum. Mostly just buckets of fluff.

A/N: Hello Tumblr friends! I’ve been in a writing drought lately and it feels like forever since I posted anything, so here’s a short, fluffy fic while I try to Stella my groove back. My plan was to make this snappy and snarky, but it went full scale mush by the end. Guys, I just really love Bucky Barnes. ♥️

Want to find all my stories? Search #bitsmasterlist or try the link in my bio!

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

The murmur is low in your ear. Smoothing the folds of emerald green satin, you follow Bucky’s glance down and see the tips of your freshly painted toes, clad in sparkly sandals and peeping from beneath the evening gown. Nothing out of the ordinary, until you notice one thing.

“Gross. What the hell is that?” you whisper.

Stuck like glue to the front of your right shoe, curling over the edge and dangerously close to your bare skin, is a piece of neon blue bubblegum.

Keeping one eye trained on the crush of inebriated party goers, searching out the mission target for the evening, you try a few options.

Scrape the edge of the shoe on the marble floor. Pointless.

Give a couple stealthy stomps. Useless.

Try to wipe it on Bucky’s trouser leg. Bucky sighs heavily and sure, that’s entertaining.

But no matter what you try, this appears to be the superglue of all gum. Bucky stares straight ahead, eyes roaming the crowd, but you see him periodically glance over, gauging your progress.

There’s no real harm, you can fix it later, but every time you shift your weight, the tacky feel of it sticks to the floor and makes a small snick sound. Like a parasite, the dirty, chewed up wad creeps further up the shoe, so close to defiling your pristine toes, and the whole thing is driving you bananas.

“Pay attention to the mission,” Bucky whispers sternly, but as of immediately, there’s a new mission in town. So, when your revolutionary idea arrives in a wave of brilliance, you take immediate action.

Nestled snug against Bucky’s lower back, hidden beneath his tuxedo jacket, sits his favorite knife. Without a thought, you reach up and tug it from the sheath, turning to face the back wall, balancing on one leg and gripping his forearm for support.

And then, frozen in shock, Bucky proceeds to watch you use his favorite knife - the one he sleeps with under his pillow, the one he keeps beside his morning Cheerios, the one he painstakingly sharpens after each and every mission - to dig at the dirty blue bubblegum fused to the bottom of your shoe.

“Disgusting,” you mutter. With a twist and flourish, it pops free and you fling it away, sending it flying into one of those tacky potted ferns by the bathroom. Smothering a laugh, you shoot Bucky a challenging look - and then slide the sticky knife back in the sheath.

You slide it back in the sheath without cleaning it.

Bucky grinds his teeth so hard his jaw locks up.

There is no earthly reason you should still be alive after this sacrilegious approach to basic knife protocol, but when he subtly leans over to voice his intense displeasure, he has the sudden desire to laugh.

“Everything okay, Barnes?” you ask under your breath, resuming your scan of the crowd. An insanely devilish grin tugs at your lips, and he huffs at the playful nudge of your elbow.

“Just fuckin’ peachy,” he mumbles drily, and then he marvels at the thought that follows.

Because right there, Bucky Barnes decides that maybe that proper knife etiquette isn’t all that important.

As long as he can see you smile.

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

Bucky stands stoic at the open kitchen cabinet, pointing at the top shelf, his furious glare driving daggers into Sam’s heart.

“Dude, I swear I didn’t touch them.”

“You’re a lying liar who lies, Wilson.”

“Dude, I fucking swear. Get over yourself, damn.”

Sam stands with his arms crossed, an equally exasperated sneer on his face. Sitting on the couch, buried under a mountain of blankets, you watch with interest. Back and forth they trade barbs, a verbal tennis match full of snarky comments, childish quips, and the occasional mention of each other’s mom. Finally, Sam throws his hands up and whirls away.

“You’re fucking impossible, asshole.”

Bucky bangs the cabinet door shut and stomps over to you, plopping into an armchair to sulk. Smiling in commiseration, you stay silent, furtively trying to swallow. You’re so close to success, but then it happens.

No matter how hard you try, the crinkle of an Oreo package is too obvious.

At the sound, Bucky’s head snaps up.

“What was that?” he asks, suspicious. Eyes wide, you shrug in silent innocence. Bucky scrutinizes your pile of blankets, realization dawning. “Was that - did you steal my Oreos?”

Another silent, vehement shake of the head. You’re close, so close, just one more swallow -

“Okay,” he says slowly. “Prove it. Whistle for me.”

Damn.

When you purse your lips and blow, nothing comes out. Well, nothing except flecks of black Oreo crumbs. Swallowing the rest of the cookie, you fish out the bottle of milk hiding under the blanket and wash it all down, smacking your lips.

“Oh, sorry. Were these your Oreos?” you ask sweetly.

Bucky bites the inside of his cheek and tries to be mad, he genuinely tries really hard, but it doesn’t work. Launching himself from the chair, he bounces onto the couch next to you, sending your milk sloshing and you squawking in faux anger.

“You dirty little thief,” he deadpans, snatching away the package. Shoving three cookies in his mouth, he steals your bottle of milk and chugs it down. When he finishes, a white milk mustache is painted above his lip. It turns this dark man, someone with decades of gunpowder on his fingers and bloodstains on his soul, back into a young boy. Carefree and innocent, brimming with happy laughter. Swallowing hard, you reach over and carefully wipe it away with a firm brush of your thumb.

And right there, Bucky Barnes discovers the simple beauty of cookies and milk and the feel of your cool fingers on his skin.

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

No. You didn’t. And that’s the problem.

Every blow of your fists unleashes something inside.

Smack, smack, smack.

Harder and faster, the punching bag absorbs all the pent of anger and lingering fury of a failed mission.

Smack, smack, smack.

It was so close. It was right there. You should have seen it. Should have remembered the bad guys never play nice, and the price of hesitation is a life. Memories trigger memories, sparking through your brain like a circuit board of bad decisions, lighting up one after another. Bucky stands on the other side of the bag, silently watching you pummel those demons trying to burrow into your skin.

“Talk to me,” he says quietly, and you frantically shake your head.

Smack, smack, smack.

Tears spill over. They blur your vision, turning the punching bag and the tall soldier holding it, into shapeless blobs. Blinking them away, wiping your runny nose on tape covered hands, the salt of tears and sweat drips into the busted-up gashes across your knuckles. It stings, a vicious reminder of what was lost. The scent of blood fills your nostrils and there are those memories again, a tsunami of pain barreling through.

Smack, smack, smack.

“Go away, Bucky. Leave me alone,” you snarl, aching arms still swinging at the punching bag. He ignores the request, a stalwart statue. It infuriates you in an unexplainable way and you spit the words in his face. “God dammit, fuck you, I don’t want - I don’t need - I don’t - I mean it. I fucking mean it. Please, just” smack “fucking” smack “go.”

Smack.

Like a booming clap of thunder, your last punch is so hard, it explodes the fragile wall holding the tears at bay.

Knees buckle. Shoulders slump. Fists slam the floor. You go down hard, and the result is devastation.

Ugly, wrenching sobs claw up your throat, stuck behind your clenched teeth until you open your mouth and howl. It hurts to cry this way, to let everything loose and accept the consequences of your failure. You will never save them all, and that clarity is a special brand of destruction.

Bucky says nothing. No words can solve this pain. No one knows that better than him.

Instead, he lays down on the sweat drenched mats beside you. Without a word, he wraps you into a hug, tucking you against his chest. Even if you don’t deserve this comfort, you cling to it. Clutching his shirt, the only lifeline you have left, you cry until that bottomless well of pain and misery finally runs dry. It takes hours, but Bucky is patient, never ceasing the comforting strokes up and down your spine.

And when it’s done, when your exhaustion leaves you unable to open puffy eyes, he simply lifts you up and carries you to your room. Places you gently on your bed and pulls the blankets over you.

“Bucky. Don’t go. Please don’t leave,” you beg hoarsely, and the misery in your voice breaks him. The bed dips as he climbs in beside you, wrapping you in his arms once again and you feel his lips brush your forehead.

The night bleeds into a dreary grey dawn, and right there, Bucky Barnes sinks into the comfort of a dreamless sleep, with you cradled tight in the heat of his arms.

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

Eyes closed against the shining sun, you offer a sleepy hum. There’s a rustle of movement, and something soft tickles your cheek. It runs across your nose, touches your eyelids, sweeps light as a feather over your lips.

Eyes struggle open, and there you find Bucky watching, a little purple flower held in his long fingers. The look on his face is unreadable. He does that sometimes, looks at you like he wants to say something more, but he always hesitates, the words stuck in confused silence.

The petals wave faintly in the breeze and you smile.

“Pretty,” you say.

“Just a weed,” he shrugs.

“Still pretty,” you say. “Hand it over.”

Bucky places it in your outstretched palm. Gives a wry shake of the head.

“You’re the only one I know, who thinks weeds are beautiful.”

The small blossom sits thoughtfully in your hand and you hold it up, squinting to the sun.

“Just because something has a bad name, doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful.”

There’s a peculiar hope in Bucky’s face as he considers the statement. He likes those words. He likes them a lot. Wants to believe they might even include him too. But nervous silver fingers pick at the threadbare edge of the picnic blanket, and you see a shadow of self-doubt flit over his handsome face.

“Sometimes a weed is still a weed. Even pretty words can’t change that fact.”

The reference is clear. You know exactly what he means, because the list of negative metaphors Bucky uses to describe himself has grown extensive and colorful over the years. Rising to your knees, you shuffle closer until you’re facing him.

“Hey,” you say gently. Careful hands cup his face, the scratchy feel of his beard on your palms softer than you expected. “You better not be calling yourself a weed, Barnes. I’d hate to kick your ass out here in public.”

The shimmer of unshed tears in those blue eyes makes you ache for him. But when Bucky sees the determination in your face, he blinks them away. And like the little weed in your hand, a tiny smile begins to bloom.

He clears his throat.

“Kick my ass, huh? I’d really love to see how that goes.”

“It’ll go my way,” you say confidently. Picking up his heavy hand, you turn it palm up and peel his fingers back. Laying the purple flower in his hand, the vivid color glows against the bright silver. “See? Beautiful. Just like you.”

He stares at the flower. Looks up.

It happens right there, in the sun-soaked summer fields of Central Park; Bucky Barnes feels his heart stop at the taste of your kiss.

*****

“Right there. Do you see?”

Lost in thought, Bucky startles at the question.

Following the line of your arm, he sees you pointing into the infinite ocean of blue-black. Stars are speckled through the heavens, patterns of constellations and figures that you always manage see, but he can never seem to find.

Stuck in the middle of nowhere, the two of you walk along, miles from civilization. The first hint of winter settles all around, hard frost covering the tips of the grass, coating the pebbles edging the abandoned road, turning your breath to thick white clouds. It should make him anxious. Bucky hates the frost, despises the frozen blue that weaves maliciously through his worst nightmares.

But on this cold, moonlit night, with you warm by his side, he finds he doesn’t mind so much.

“What am I looking for?” he asks.

“Shooting star,” you say breathlessly. Tilting your head back, you go still, a beacon of patience awaiting a cosmic miracle. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Bucky peers up at the sky, but as the minutes click by, he knows he’ll never find what he needs up there.

He turns to look at you instead. Watches you watch the sky, his chest burning with contentment at the sight of your profile in this moonlit night.

“Sure,” he says. “So beautiful.”

Gloved fingers find yours, and you turn your gaze from the infinity of space, to this man beside you, solid and real and here on Earth. There is nothing in the world but the two of you, nothing else matters as you move impossibly close.

“Such a sap,” you murmur, your mouth a mere breath from his. The tip of his nose is icy against your cheek, and you can feel him smiling as he returns the kiss with a shiver.

The world is funny. Because this - this is your love story.

Built on blue bubblegum and stolen Oreos, blood-stained bandages and purple flowers, shooting stars and an endless night sky, this love bursts with highs and lows and a million variations in-between. Wrapped up in the delicious comfort of your kiss, Bucky wonders what in the world he ever did to earn this.

This perfectly imperfect life. Here. With you.

There’s no real answer, of course. Love is like that sometimes.

So instead, he dusts off those three words from another life, ones he’s stored away for decades, and he hands them over, because they’re the one thing he can always see, no matter how dark his world becomes.

“I love you,” he whispers. “More than anything.”

The words are drenched in happiness, syllables shaped with a quiet joy that glows brighter and fiercer than every constellation hanging above. And in the space of a single second -

Your heart skips.

Your breath catches.

You swear you could fly.

Because this is it, this is the moment. This is the big one.

And that right there is when you return those three words, the ones Bucky Barnes has been missing his whole life and the ones you’ve held close, since the night you found that blue bubblegum tacked onto your shoe.

The words are perfect. You kiss him again.

“I love you too, Bucky.”

*****

[palettes-and-prompts]

40 Prompts!

Prompts for the Sunshiney Character/Storm Cloud Relationship

1) A and B go to a theme park and B notices how much A keeps staring at the games where you can win stuffed animals and while A's back is turned B wins them a huge stuffed animal. 2) A realizes they've never heard B laugh before and so they spend the whole day telling them lame jokes to get them to laugh but they never do. It isn't until something bad happens to C in front of them that B lets out the hardest laugh A's ever heard. And while they're terrified of B's humor they're in love with their laugh. 3) A tries to find out more about B's interests but since B is very secretive it's hard for them to find anything out about them. But when A hears B watching wrestling they get B tickets to a match and suddenly B's out of their seat cheering for a wrestler to hit the other with a chair. A's never seen B happier. 4) While grocery shopping A is putting junk food into the basket and B is taking it out and putting in healthier options until they get to the dairy section and B puts four gallons of chocolate milk in the cart, absolutely shocking A. When B tries to explain themselves A tells them they're going back and getting the junk food they want. B lets them and doesn't take out a thing they put in after that. 5) A wears shorts and one of B's t-shirts and A keeps thinking B's sick because their face is flushed all day when they look at A. 6) A gets B some flowers because they're trying to show more affection but it backfires when B begins sneezing and getting watery eyes. (Bonus if A goes back to the store and gets fake flowers and allergy relief medication.) 7) A and B go into a haunted house and A doesn't have time to be scared because B's lightning fast reflexes keep knocking the scare actors flat on their ass and A keeps apologizing while B's trying hard not to keep doing it every time someone pops out. 8) A and B get their face painted and while A who is sunshiney gets something scary B, the storm cloud, gets a cute animal and then they go out for food. 9) A and B go to the zoo and while in the part where you're allowed to pet the animals A is trying hard to get animals to like them B is the one all the animals keep swarming and rubbing against. 10) A and B go to the beach and even though B doesn't like the beach. While A has fun in the water B has fun when the seagulls begin attacking people who brought food. (Bonus if it ends with B saying they now love the beach.)

Fluffy Prompts for the Human/Vampire Relationship

1) Everyone warns A about B being a vampire and one day when they're out with friends B casually mentions that they smell good and everyone is wide eyed until B's like "I was talking about their perfume/cologne." Which makes them all give a sigh of relief and the group spends the whole day trying to make it up to B because A really likes them.

2) It's hot outside and so A hugs B to stay cool. And for once in their life B's kind of glad they're a vampire. 3) A who is like ice feels bad they can't cuddle with B so they buy a ridiculously warm onesie and gloves to hold them. (Bonus if the onesie is extremely tacky because they got it last minute.) 4) A's jackets are in the wash so they wear one of B's without telling the. (Bonus if B spends all day looking for it since it's their favorite one.) 5) A feels bad B can't enjoy food so they spend hours researching until they find a few recipes B can eat since they're mixed with a lot of blood. (Bonus if they messed up the recipe but B thinks it's the most delicious thing ever.) 6) A can't see their reflection so B spends the whole day figuring out if there's a way for a vampire to see their own reflection. 7) In a world where humans can become blood donors as a job and pick the vampire they work for A gets lucky enough to meet a wealthy B. B is excited because A's cute and has a rare blood type. 8) A celebrates a birthday or holiday where gifts are involved and everyone thinks B's favorite color is red because they're a vampire. But they tell everyone they actually hate red and so everyone tries to figure out what their favorite color is. 9) A reads trashy vampire novels to B, a vampire, who does nothing but lay their head on A's lap and go  "Oh my god, we don't even do that! That's such bullshit, that's not even what happened during the signing of the Treaty of Versailles. I should know, I was there!" 10) A hasn't been around humans in a long time and is very confused when looking at certain technology or clothing B wears.

Hurt/Comfort Prompts for the Human/Vampire Relationship

1) A has always hated vampires and when they become one B shows them how to survive in their world. 2) A gets injured and B can't help them because of their blood lust. B is incredibly jealous of C for being able to take care of them when they can't 3) A almost drinks B's blood when A accidentally cuts themself. Later A buys some rosary beads for someone at work to ward off a vampire they work with who's getting handsy or whatever. But when B finds them they're worried A doesn't trust them anymore. 4) A gets injured running away from vampires and B is a vampire who finds them and patches them up. 5) A can tell what turns B on because they're constantly listening to their heart rate. Imagine A being incredibly jealous when B sees C because their heart rate spikes. (Bonus if B just really hates C so it's nothing more than them preparing themselves to be annoyed for the day.) 6) A rescues vampire B from a mad scientist who was conducting experiments on B to see if vampires could be changed back and how much pain they can endure. 7) A is a human who's lost everything and B is a vampire who grants them eternal life and revenge against those who wronged them. 8) A hates vampires and works for a group of vampire hunters but when they stumble upon B and see how scared they are it reminds them of their past and they help them escape, this leads B to become attached to A and curious about them. A hates it until they think it's actually kind of cute. 9) In a world where humans are kidnapped and kept alive for their blood A is leading a rebellion until they're captured. B, a vampire in the cell next to them, befriends them and tells them the guard schedules and personalities and tells them they'll help them escape if they get them out too. (Bonus if A is going to betray B until their time together makes A feel things.) 10) A is the most heartless human and B is the most compassionate/alive vampire. The two meet and change each others lives, but is that for the better or worse?

Crack Prompts for the Human/Vampire Relationship

1) A makes garlic bread and B spends hours trying to figure out what they did wrong. Turns out A forgot that B couldn't have garlic bread and didn't remember when they bought, they just thought "Wow, haven't had garlic bread in a while." 2) A cuts their finger and before B can react A sucks the blood from their finger. And it wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that B moaned when A did that so now things are weird. 3) A and B go grocery shopping and afterwards they check the police records for any criminals in the area for B to drink from. 4) A is a nurse who works at a hospital in charge of blood and B is a blood thief A is constantly spraying with holy water to keep out of the room where they store all the blood. When new nurse C arrives they panic until A comes and spritzes them. When C is like "???" A is like "They do that all the time. They don't bite humans, they drink animal blood. But sometimes they're tempted to drink human blood so you gotta spritz them when you see them." 5) A wonders why B never feeds in front of them and B just tells them they wouldn't want to watch anything like that. But when A finally convinces B to actually have dinner with them they feed in front of A. (Bonus if A is horrified and lowkey loses their appetite but tries to play it off) 6) A can't see their reflection so B is constantly drawing dicks on their face when they're asleep. 7) A thinks it's hot when B speaks a different language, but when B catches on and uses it during an argument A is constantly telling them to stop flexing their knowledge. B thinks it's hilarious though but stops for a while so when A's in the mood B can talk dirty in another language. (Bonus if by the time B does that A can speak the language too.) 8) A has been staring at someone B hates all day and when B thinks A might have a crush they get sad until A admits they just have a gross blood type and can't stand the smell. 9) "You look really peaceful when you sleep, very beautiful." "Please don't watch me sleep, it's so weird, dude." "We have sex all the time, do not call me dude." 10) A getting mad at vampire B before they go out and saying some shit like, "You have something on your face by the way." And not telling B where it is because they know B can't see their own reflection to wipe whatever it is off. (Bonus if A is smug the whole time and B is like "Come on, lets not fight tonight and just...just tell me where it is! Is it my nose? My teeth? What is it?!?")

Sorry this took so long, @zoliis I wanted to give you at least 10 prompts for each one, hope these are kind of what you’re looking for maybe? If not just let me know and I’ll do some more! :)

[always-anxious612]

Magic in the Air: Chapter 1

Description: In a world where magic exists everywhere and most people have it in one way or another, six friends are left without it. Still, they can’t help but dream for the chance to cast spells and charms on their own. Too bad dreams like that don’t come true...do they?

Parings: eventual roceit, eventual analogical, eventual intruality, platonic DRLAMP

Warnings: food mention (please let me know if I missed any or if you want something tagged)

Word Count: 1,608

Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9

Magic. It used to be something only in fairytales. Just a fantasy thought up by a storyteller. A dream for the dreamers, an inspiration for the writers, a muse for the artists. But now, magic was everywhere. No one really remembered how it was discovered, or who it was who first started normalizing its use in everyday life, but it had been around long enough for it to be incorporated into everything. The very roots of the trees held it, cultivated by decades of growth and nutrition spells. Magic had invaded every nook of modern society, nestling itself in as if magic had always been there. And maybe it had.

Most everyone enjoyed being able to benefit from pre-made cleaning charms and special-made foods and drinks with different helpful spells (to give you energy, warmth, a sense of peace, etc). Very few held no magic at all; whether their skills lay in charms, spells, or potions, most everyone had some sort of magic ability.

Among the few who had no magic were six high-school friends, now college housemates: Logan Crofters, Patton Hart, Virgil Storm, Dee Black, and the twins Roman and Remus Prince. They had, of course, given up on the hope of developing magic abilities a long time ago. Everyone knew that if you didn’t develop magic as a child, it was basically impossible to learn it later on. But, naturally, the six couldn’t help but dream about a day when they’d be able to perform spells and charms; maybe even gain a “special skill” that didn’t need a spell to work, unique to their personalities. Too bad dreams like that don’t come true…

Roman Prince sighed happily as he made his way home from class, a cup of hot coffee in his hand. He was glad that he had remembered to add the heating charm to his order this time (keeping his coffee hot hours longer than it normally would); otherwise, he’d have had to throw it away by now. At the thought he sighed once again, this time more in longing than in happiness. Here he was, living in a modern-day fairy-tale, and he couldn’t even perform magic! It didn’t matter that none of his five housemates could either, or that he got along just fine without doing magic; he still wished for something more. Just think of the possibilities; what if he could cast heating spells and cleaning charms himself? As he neared the front door of his house, however, he shook himself from these thoughts. There was no time to dwell on what couldn’t be changed. At least not right now. Right now, Roman had a project to work on.

For weeks now, Roman had been working on designing the perfect prop for a special contest they were holding at his university. Basically, it was to promote the upcoming play (and get non-theatre students more interested in coming to watch it). Everyone who entered was told to design the same prop and was given a picture of what it should approximately look like (an intricate looking book that Roman knew was a key part of the play since he was in it). The best-designed prop would be featured and used in the play, and Roman was almost done!

Naturally, such a contest was perfect for him. You see, Roman hadn’t gotten much of a chance to show off his art skills recently, since he devoted most of his time to his actual major…acting. But he did have them—art skills that is. At least, he’d like to think he had art skills. Waving a short hello to Dee, Logan, and Patton, who were all in the kitchen, he headed up to his room and got to work.

“Roman? Supper’s ready, kiddo.” A voice (most definitely Patton’s) called from the other side of Roman’s closed door a couple hours later. However, Roman only muttered out a short response, too engrossed in his work to realize he was speaking too quietly for Patton to hear. He felt a certain passion as he worked, putting special attention into even the tiniest details, too focused to notice time slipping away. Even if he didn’t win, it felt so good to create something again. He had almost forgotten how much fun it was to craft props; to see something he worked so hard to create finally start to look like the picture in his head. He felt a weird, fuzzy feeling start to grow in his chest as he continued. However, too engrossed to acknowledge the growing feeling, he continued with his project until another knock rang throughout his room.

“Hey, bro bro! Patton sent me to get you. Your food is getting cold!” Remus yelled from the other side. Roman sighed, feeling the pleasant warm feeling fade as he attempted to ignore his brother.

“Ro, if you don’t come out, I’ll tell Dee Dee your little secret~” Remus sang, finally making Roman groan and stand.

“Don’t you dare.” He grumbled, swinging open his door.

“What’s that? You dare me?” Remus smirked, backing away slowly. Roman narrowed his eyes at the other.

“Remus…” he warned glaring. Remus stuck out his tongue out at Roman before turning and barreling back down the hall. Already expecting it, Roman was hot on his heels as they careened into the kitchen, startling the four others at the dining table.

“Dee-”, Remus yelled, just before Roman clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Um, you guys good?” Virgil spoke up, raising an eyebrow at the brothers.

“Absolutely fi—Remus, gross!” Roman exclaimed, cutting himself off when he felt a warm slimy thing touch his hand. Remus stuck his tongue out at his brother, before slinking off to take his seat between Virgil and Logan. Roman eyed his brother warily as he wiped his saliva-covered hand on his jeans, taking his own place between Virgil and Dee. Diligently ignoring Dee’s questioning gaze, Roman instead cleared his throat and addressed the table.

“Um, sorry to keep everyone waiting.” he apologized, watching Patton heat up everyone’s food. “I got caught up in my work.”

“It’s no problem, kiddo. Just make sure you’re taking breaks!” Patton replied in his normal cheery manner as he set everyone’s dinner in front of them. As soon as the plate was set down, Roman started to gulp down his food as fast as he could.

“Whoa, kiddo, slow down. We have movie night tonight, so there’s no rush.” Patton reminded him, furrowing his eyebrows. Roman managed to swallow his half-chewed mouthful before sighing. It’s not that he didn’t want to spend “family time” (as Patton had dubbed the time all 6 spent together after getting home). After all, that meant more time Dee. Er, not that Roman cared about that. Or, well, not to say he didn’t enjoy spending time with the others, just not with Dee specifically. Well, yes, with Dee, but just as much as he enjoyed spending time with anybody else… Um, anygay, he was just so close to finishing his project!

“I’m sorry, Padre, but I’ll have to pass on movie night. I’m almost done with my prop!” Patton frowned in disappointment, making a touch of guilt rise in Roman’s gut. He had ranted about this project enough for the rest of the household to know that the prop wasn’t actually due for another two days. Technically, he would have time to finish it later, but he was feeling inspired now. He couldn’t very well put inspiration on hold.

“Roman.” A silky voice spoke up next to him. Roman turned to find Dee gazing at him, tilting his head in the most adorable way he had ever seen. Wait no, not adorable. He certainly didn’t think Dee was adorable and of course he didn’t have crush on the sneaky little—

“Ro,” Dee purred again, a suspicious smile tugging at his lips. “Why don’t you tell us about your prop? I’m sure we’d all love to hear about it.”

“You—really?” Roman asked, lighting up. Dee nodded somewhat fondly after shooting a glare at Virgil, who tried to suppress a groan. Vaguely, Roman wondered if this was just a trick to get Roman to talk long enough to forget he had been working and come to movie night… this method of Dee’s may or may not have worked a few times before. But when Dee gave him an encouraging (although somehow still sneaky-looking) smile, Roman melted, launching into how his work had been going so far.

As he continued, he grew more and more passionate, remembering how much hard work he’d put into the prop so far. He spoke of how he meticulously planned the book’s shape and color scheme before sketching it multiple times; about constructing the base, about painting it, about the details he was still working on adding. As his passion grew, so did the warm fuzzy feeling that had dwindled to almost nothing during dinner. It grew so intense that not even waving his hands around, like he normally did when he was excited, dispelled the energy. Instead, he got up, beginning to pacing as he talked, still adamantly using his hands. As he did this, the pressure finally eased slightly, not quite fading, but instead becoming a steady constant.

In fact, Roman was so busy pacing, so focused on his passionate rant and the fuzzy feeling it brought, that he didn’t notice the others frantically calling his name until Logan grabbed his arm rather forcefully. Roman was about to protest at the tight grip (“Geez, Lo, overboard much?”) when he realized what everyone was yelling about. All around him, everything was… floating.

Taglist: @catolicabuena

[nasty-b]

Should have left it to rot - A Hawks x Reader Fanfic

Warnings: Creepy Crawlings, Manipulation, Blackmail, 

Right on. This could not go any worse if you fucking tried, right? All in all, the entire fucking day had been an absolute disaster. It was so bad. So.. disappointing. Starting with the fact that you got fired like a loser for something you had not even had any control over. It sucked majorly. Especially because not only did you have no control over the event, it was also not even in your jurisdiction. Not your job. End of story. Your superior should have become the person they nailed down but instead you got to play scapegoat.

It was proper stupid. But even ranting a bit around like this did nothing for your mood as you were making your way back home, the box with the stuff from your desk clamped under your arm. It’s not like paying rent was easy enough, even with this job paying you barely enough for the necessities. Now you got to stress over being put out on the street. Your landlord was enough of an asshole to put you out right now if he found out you got fired.

That man was as thick in the head as he was fat. And he was fat. Nothing against people who were on the heavier side but him being obese had nothing to do with- ok you need to calm down. Right now you were just letting your emotions insult anyone inside your head to let out the stress and anger of the situation. Is it beginning to rain? “Shit..” You wiped your h/c hair out of your face and picked up the pace. If you got hit by a storm now you were going to fucking implode. And after imploding you’d explode and probably take half the neighborhood with you.

That was a metaphor. You did not have the power to actually do that. Sometimes you wished you had it though. Just to have something. Sure, you had a quirk, but it was totally useless. You could just dislocate and relocate your bones without abstaining any damage and you could only do it with your arms or your legs. It also hurt like fucking hell, even if you did not catch any damage. You hated pain more than anything.

A lot of people do not enjoy pain. Hard surprise. Wow. Fucking shit it was raining. The drops were coming in hard and fast now and you weren’t even close to home. You’re not running in this weather. You’re gonna fucking slip and then get hit by a car or something.. this week was bad enough to make you feel like you were going through bad luck on purpose. Maybe you were. Maybe someone had cursed the shit out of you for existing. Not that much of a surprise.

Would not be.. much of.. a surprise..? Your step slowed down and cast down towards the small.. red ball of fluff sitting there in the middle of the road. Oh shit- it’s a bird. Poor thing must have hit a tree or something.. You glance up at the darkening sky. Yeah. Must have. Except for when you hear a soft chirp and glance down only to see the fluff moving. Wings stretching weakly and making you jump. Ok yeah no- not a fucking bird. It’s a hawk. A fully grown hawk. Jesus those claws looked mean-

It’s crooked wing also looked kind of unfortunately mean. Yikes there. The poor thing would likely not be flying anywhere anytime soon. That was a death sign for any bird. Broken wing. You should leave it- Law of nature and all. Except for where you were in the middle of the city and this was not exactly.. the most nature rich place. Oh god it’s coming towards you. Limping on it’s gangly legs. “Ahh, hold on- no- bad bird. Don’t come over hereEEK!” Saying this was embarrassing was an understatement.

The thing just hopped vaguely into your direction and you almost dropped your box and landed on your ass because you decided the smartest move was to jump hectically backwards as if the devil was about to bite you in the tit. Take a chill pill y/n. Maybe two. Hakuna your tatas. Think of funny internet pictures. It’s hard to do that with the bird still pathetically trying to communicate. Communicate?

It was kind of squawking at you but, well, obviously you understood none of that. You were no bird person. You did not speak chirp. Unfortunately. That would have been a great quirk to have instead of.. dislocating your limbs as many times as you wanted. You could have been a hero with that kind of quirk. Your own quirk just made you able to use your arms as meat nunchucks. Which. Sounded really fucking stupid oh my god- The image won’t leave your head but you’re forced to concentrate on the bird when it hopped onto your shoe.

First instinct is to scream and kick it. Second instinct is to not move at all. You were wearing short pants and you do not want the thing to peck at your legs. “Jesus christ- I’m so fucking dead. Please don’t hurt me-“ Just in case that thing spoke human, you were very willing to beg a bird to not bite you. But now that it was sitting on your shoe, looking at you. Something did poke at your subconscious. Which would be..

Normal hawks were not red. They might be brown.. with a red tint. But red? This poor animal looked like someone dropped it into a paint bucket. Probably what happened. Maybe that explained the broken wing. “Aw.. Was someone mean to you?” Maybe some kids pulled the poor creature out of a tree or something. “Uh..” It just sat there. Giving you the beady, sad look that only a bird could give someone. It pulled on your heart strings. Badly.

“Wanna.. come with me? For now?” The weather was bad. You were not going anywhere far today. But there was a vet on the way that would be able to set the wing.. at a cost of an arm and a leg. The thought makes you wheeze softly. The bird presses against your leg and you just kind of. Ah hell..

It takes the effort of two hours and most of your savings to get the bird to your shitty apartment. By now all sanity had left you, carrying the box with your stuff and the bird inside. They gave it a little muzzle cap. To ensure you did not get bit or clawed to shit while you waited until the weather cleared up enough to bring it to the nearest wildlife center.

By now you’re drenched. Severely. It was gross and made you shiver and ugh. Back to the loss of your sanity though, because right now you’re ranting to the damn bird about the week you have been having. Currently at the point where you got fired. “-and you’d think they fire the person responsible. Do they get fired? No. I get the shit put on me while I wasn’t even in said department when the whole thing crashed! Fucking bastards I tell you. Proper melts.”

It was oddly therapeutic. Talking to this red bird. Which, by the way, was not dyed. Apparently this had to be it’s normal colors. The vet had been confused but had shut up about it once you paid him. He just wished you well and ushered you out the door as if you were garbage. To be fair, you looked like it. You looked like the girl from the ring while she was climbing out of the well by now. Your hair’s a mess.

Any makeup you had on was runny and your clothes stuck to your body, making you feel oddly naked. “Hold on-“ You put the box down and immediately shimmy out of your clothes. “I suppose I oughta give you some new place to nest for now too, I don’t want you catching a .. cold..” While you had been undressing your gaze fell back onto the bird. Who was.. pointedly not looking at you? It was even shoving it’s head into the box. What the hell?

“Uh.. Buddy?” Was it throwing up in there? Please no. You shuffle over. “Hey, Leggie,” A nickname born out of the length the birds legs had. “If you throw up onto my shit, please, aim at something that is easily wiped down.” But of course you get no response. It does not even answer you. Rude little shit. “Fine.” You conceded.. after making sure the bird was not hurtling out some dead mouse or something. “Hide.. or whatever..”

Taking a shower was overrated after just getting fired so you get into a hoodie and some panties, some comfy socks to fight the cold, tiled floor and then got to moving stuff around. Once you emptied the box of the stuff inside, you filled it with towels and one pillowcase to create a weird sort of nest. Putting the bird back inside. You’re so glad it does not scratch you either. Oddly docile the little thing.. “Ok so.” You clap your hands.

“Welcome to your .. new nest. For now. We’ll be roomates until I have the time-“ and mood “-to get you to the nearest wildlife center.” You needed motivation for such a travel. The nearest one was five hours away with public transportation. You had no drivers license. Well, you used to have one but you lost it because you .. mhh.. you don’t actually remember why you lost it. It never mattered that much so you never bothered taking care of reclaiming it. It wasn’t like you had any money for gas and maintenance anyway.

It ended with you just walking everywhere or taking the subway if it came push to shove. You’re losing track of what you were doing but once you refocused.. you just sighed and hung your head. You were talking to a fucking bird. Wow. And they told you romance was dead. “I’m.. yeah.. let me just..” You turned away and shuffled to your fridge to pull out some raw steak you wanted to make for dinner today. You were not hungry anyway.. not anymore. So, you cut the thing up and just put it all in a bowl before walking back.

It leaves you with the danger of unhooking the muzzle and losing your eyes. Ahh that was bad.. Very bad. You pout a little and just.. carefully pulled it off. Holding the bowl over and putting it into the box, quickly retracting your hand and then lifting the box to put it in the bathroom. You had no bathtub but a shower, which is why the bird box went in there. You closed the glass door and watched the bird stare at you.

“Stop.. judging me.” It felt like it was. It was an ugly feeling to have such an elegant and majestic animal judge you. It sucked majorly. The bird tilted it’s head and just turned it’s head on the meat. Fine. Starve then you little rat.. It was late. You were tired. You got the little thing a bowl of water before you forgot and then you closed the bathroom door. Leaving the weak light on to make sure it found it’s food and it’s water. Time to sleep.

You can watch the bird choke down food tomorrow. No more today. Too late.. Did birds overeat? Naw right? Hawks were like.. eh- they hunted for themselves, surely they knew when they had enough or something. Yeah. Sounded more reasonable. You move to your bed and drop onto it. Taking your two room apartment in one more time before closing your eyes and just .. letting sleep claim you.

For some reason, sleep does not wanna claim you at first. A blood red hawk dancing around in the back of your mind.  That was weird, right? Red hawk. Hawks were brown, usually.. Unless.. did animals have quirks? Nah.. You’re putting too much thought into it. Finally. You drift off.

Only to wake up 6 hours later by a loud crash. You screech in panic and fall out of your bag, kicking and punching the covers off of you and scrambling backwards in reply. Jesus fucking christ what the hell? The noise continued. Clearly, coming out of your lovely apartment. This is hell. You’re in a horror movie. Any moment the monster will come around the corner and kill you.. does it? No. It doesn’t. You need to act before that monster does though.. Very likely a burglar but your imagination is running away with you. Where the fuck is your phone- you left it in the kitchen to charge. Fucking shit.

You grab the nearest thing, which would a polo stick. You don’t polo. You just found the damn thing in a trashcan once and thought it looked cool. Someone had clearly customize the thing and thus it was covered in painted on sunflowers on very dark wood.. They’re very tiny sunflowers. Very tiny. That stick is also not extremely sturdy, being as thin as it was, but you had nothing else and to get to the kitchen for a knife you might already get attacked. Be brave y/n. You do not wanna be brave. Yet, here you go-

With shaky steps, slowly but surely, you make your way to the door. There is still rustling and shuffling, which ensured that it was not right in front of your room. Mhhh carefully you peer around the corner and notice two things. 1. The light in the bathroom was on. 2. The door was open. And suddenly, the idea that came to you very quietly when you were about to sleep came back to kick you in the ass.. But you had been a fucking idiot about it. Because what if, what if.. that hawk was not a hawk. But someone with a hawk quirk. And you brought a stranger into your home and.. undressed in front of them.

Might explain why it looked away from her when you did and did not want to eat the raw fucking meat that had been given to it. God, if this was some kid discovering their quirk you’d be in so much shit. But how did the vet overlook that?? The vet. The vet should have fucking told you what was going on- bastard had probably kept quiet to avoid the drama. Once this is over you’re suing, but the current issue at hand, you dodge the terror of some stranger in your home and straighten out. If this was some kid, their arm was broken. You need to act.

So, gathering all your bravado you stalk over to the door and.. carefully peek inside the room. First thing you notice, this aint no fucking kid and second thing is that there was still an alarming amount of red in your bathroom. Two giant wings were flapping weakly in there and the blonde man that they belonged to was sitting in your shower. Crowded into this tiny bathroom and just looking.. a little bit dazed? He swung from left to right, yikes. Somehow he felt familiar. “E-Excuse me?” Polo stick, firm in your hand. “Are you alright?” The wing that had been broken was still angel awkwardly but by now the bandages had torn. This is bad.

At your voice the man turned his head and blinked owlishly at you. And, oh my god? You knew he looked familiar. You remember this man because his face is on a billboard three or two blocks away to advertise some cologne. You watched an interview with him just four days ago. Hawks. Number 2 Hero. Holy Hell. Hawks was sitting in your bathroom. Uh. Naked? Your eyes try to focus on his face but can’t help check his back out. Muscles alore. The man was short but packed to the sky. God. This was like, out of an fanfiction or something. This happened in fiction. Not real life. “Ah- let me get you some clothes!” Barely you snap out of your dumb stupor and run off to your room to get the biggest shirt and shorts you got- then you run to the kitchen to get a knife to cut two misshaped holed into the back of it.

Maybe those were too small.. But you rushed back only to find the blonde trying to wobble to his legs. The raw meat’s on the ground. Man, guilt coming in hard. You fed the number 2 hero raw meat. Raw.. meat. “Here, come on- uh- you need some pants at least!” He’s clearly out of it. But he’s sobering up quick because when you spoke to him he just held out a hand, to where you handed him the clothes and he started shuffling into them. His wings spread as much as they can, at least the healthy one, crowding you easily out of your own bathroom. Anxiety has your ass so hard you forgot to turn around but when you get a wing in your face you flee to your kitchen and just, shakily start making yourself some tea.

For two. Water enough for two.. he looked like he could need some tea once he got out of your dumb bathroom.. God his poor wing. What happened to it? Why would anyone do this- You knew Hawks, his quirk fierce wings was great but last time you checked, he could not turn into a hawk. But suddenly, there was a hawk Hawks. Which would imply that another quirk user did this to him, right? Oh god.. He saw you undress.. Well, at least he was a gentleman about it.. You’re nervous. Kind of scared of having made yourself look like a total fucking idiot.. you ranted to this man, your idol kind of, about losing your job. The blonde probably thought you were a huge loser.. You were a huge loser. You felt like one.

“Ehhh..” The voice has you snap your head around, almost burning yourself on the hot water you were trying to pour. The man was standing there with a sleepy look and just watched the two mugs on your counter. “..Nh.. Yeah.. Yeah thanks.” He sounds like he’s half asleep. Just moving to your kitchen table and managing to sit down on it, wincing as his broken wing avoided the chair. You wince in sympathy. “I’ll.. I’ll get dressed in a bit and then.. I’ll call you an uber to the hospital. Yeah?” Hawks doesn’t answer. He looked ready to fall asleep at the table. He needs help.. Fucking- Of course he needs help. You finish the making the tea and put some sugar in to help him stay awake before you trot over and put his cup down. “Here. It’s orange. I hope it’s fine.”

Still not much reaction. He just grunted and grabbed the mug to start blowing on it to cool it down. You realize that the shirt you gave him had died. The two holes you put in there had become one huge hole. Guess they were too small after all. Whatever. You’re sure the hospital had better options. Better had better options. Forget your tea, you’re getting dressed, snatching your phone from the counter and speed walking to your room. Find an uber, call them, pay them with the little fucking amount of money you had left which would ensure you’d have nothing to eat for the rest of the month and get Hawks to the hospital.

It takes you five minutes. When you get back the man was staring out the window. He’s looking more awake. That’s good. “Ok!” Your voice had him snap his head around and squint. God, anxiety in your ass. “The uber will be here in a bit, I picked one with a really big care for your wings- Uh,” He’s just staring. “L-Let’s go?” You pump your fist shakily into the air but it just makes you feel dumb. At least he listens, because he gets up and just waits for you to move to the side before walking past you. He’s angry. You can see he’s angry because his face looked angry. His fists were clenched and you’re unsure if it was you or the situation pissing him off.. You’d let him go alone but someone needed to be there to pay the uber driver. Yeah.. You’re praying they take card. You forgot to ask.

All the way down the stairs and then waiting for the uber is nervous hell. The man is super silent and just staring straight ahead as you stood next to him. You wanna go home. Which would be right behind you but you need to pay this shit stain of a driver who was now, five minutes late- Oh is that him? You walk a bit forward and wave the car, which slows down and stops in front of them. The man sitting inside was staring at you two with wide eyes and a pale complexion. Yeah, see who you made wait. Hawks just got into the back, taking in the whole seating. That’s fine. You shuffle to the front and hold up your card. “U-Uh.. do you take card?..”

The stranger just nodded and you can see how uncomfortable he is. He’s feeling like you were right now, which was kind of nice to have that company in a way. Shared pain and all.. You tell him where to and quietly pay. Unfortunately, or fortunately, unsure yet, fate has other plans. When you step back from the car and are about to give the hand sign to go, Hawks slapped his hand onto the other mans shoulder driving the car. “She’s coming with us. I’ll pay for her later.” His voice is hoarse and leaves no room to negotiate. God. What is this. Is he going to sue you for trying to feed him raw meat and locking him into your bathroom..? Hhhgh.. The drive just stared at you helplessly as Hawks fingers dug into his shoulders. No choice then, eh?

You carefully get into the front seat and just .. put on your seatbelt. You’re so fucking scared- but you’re thankful he paid for this? Because. You had nothing left. You were in the red now. That shit cost fifty bucks or something like it- Why did it cost fifty bucks? The hospital was five blocks away or something like it. Right? You’re unsure. Anyway.. “Get his contact info.” Hawks voice made you flinch and you just nodded like a servant or something before pulling out your phone. “P-Please drive, just tell me your info.” Right. Neither of you wanted to be in the company of the angry hero. It just was too much pressure. So, the drive starts and the man manages to give you his info while Hawks was brooding behind you two. This was so stressful. Your veins feel like they’re about to explode.

The next twenty minutes are just as bad and when you get there and Hawks just left you two in the car to get into the hospital without saying anything further. You and the dude just sit there. “Am.. I supposed to wait too?” He sounds confused and worried and you understand. “I.. I don’t know..” You fold your hands into your lap and just watched the hospital. Tensing when you spotted that hawks was coming back with two frantic nurses and a doctor on his ass. He poked his head out and made an impatient motion for you to follow. Carefully you glance around and point at yourself and got an eye roll and a nod in return. Shut the door.

“Good luck..” You groan at the driver and hurry out of the car, thanking him and then jogging over there. Hawks was already on his way back in. Why was this happening to you? You were trying to help- why was he so angry at you? .. Raw meat, shower.. ranting and undressing in front of him might have something to do with it. Damn it.. It’s like, four am or something. You’re only awake because of the adrenaline going through you. You’re in some dirty, stained clothes because you did not pay attention what you were wearing and now that you were a bit calmer you realized you gave Hawks your puppy shirt. The .. the fucking glitter puppy shirt. Ok. He’s going to hate you, he probably already does. This was a disaster.

It’s been an hour and you were forced to sit in the waiting room. Just.. staring ahead and biting your lower lip. You had no friends to call to tell them about this and you and your parents hated each other.. Mostly because they were both heroes and had been so disappointed to have a daughter with a worthless quirk. So disappointed they up and fucking disowned you. Assholes. Whatever. “Miss y/n?” Your head jerks up. Oh no. A male nurse waved you over with a bright, happy smile. “We’re happy to announce that Hawks is stable, you must be so relieved.” Relieved? “Uh, Uh yeah.. Yeah of course I am..” You carefully got up and walked over to the man as he led you down the hallway to the patient rooms.

“We will be right with you bringing you two something to snack on until breakfast. So please just take a seat for now.” What was going on? This was weird, right? You were freaked out. “Thanks..” You muttered and then watched him as he left. Something tells you that you should just leave.. But .. this was the number 2 hero. You can’t just.. ignore him telling you to come along? Especially if he was going to sue the life out of you or anything. Lessen your sentence or whatever. So, you carefully open the door and walk inside. Staring at the blonde man in the bed. He was sitting and reading the newspapers with a focused stare but when he spotted you he gave you a warm smile and waved you over. “Ahh. The savior of the hour.” What?

This was a turnaround. A real 180 degrees one. The anger the other man had expelled earlier seemed gone. “Got that contact info I asked of you, chickadee?” Right. You pull your phone out of your pocket and stumble over to show it to him. His expression warms even more as he gave you a happy grin. “Nice. Great job.” It’s so much different now. Maybe he had just been in immense pain? “Come on, don’t look so scared, I’m not gonna eat you or anything. Sit down, they told me we’re getting some snacks in a bit.” Right, you were told too. This was just freaking you out even further. But what were you going to do?

So, you sit down and give a nervous smile. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.-“ Then you bow and start to apologize. “And I’m sorry about locking you into my bathroom- and feeding you raw meat and-“ It never ends. You end up babbling at him frantically for over five minutes as you tried to convey the emotions of how fucking sorry you were about treating him like, well, a fucking bird. He just grinned at you the whole time and only when you were done speaking did he reply to you. “Ah, well. Yeah that was weird but it’s water under the bridge. It was kinda nice to not have to fight for survival against dogs and cats trying to eat yours truly. That was a thing I got to play around with three hours before you found me.” He makes a face. “You can imagine a broken wing makes that a tad annoying.”

Oh yeah. You finally relax into the chair you’ve been sitting in. “Oh my god.. I’m so glad you’re not suing me.” You groan into the air and just started to giggle all that nervousness out of you. It had been bubbling around in there and finally it was out. God damn it.. “Nah, wouldn’t dream it of.” He leaned back as much as he could in the bed and just continued to read the papers with a soft humm. Which brought in a comfortable, somewhat awkward silence. Right, you had questions still. “Uh, by the way. Now that I’m no longer getting sued or whatever-“ He raises an eyebrow. “Why am I here? Just to like, spend you some company?”

Hawks tilted his head from side to side. “Mhh.. I oughta repay you for your service, now don’t I?” Which, did not exactly enlighten you in whatever the hell he meant. Your smile tightened a little. “Aw, that’s not necessary- I’m just really happy you’re ok.” The door opens at that time and you saw the male nurse bringing a tablet with some bread and stuff. It was not much. But it was some snacks and you could use some nutrition. With all the adrenaline leaving your body you felt kind of faint from all the stress. The male smiled at you two sitting there, Hawks half sitting. “Here you go, you two lovebirds.” Uh. “I’m sorry you have to eat together in a hospital but I’m sure you can have a proper date once you’re out!” Double uh?

He put the tablet down on the bed, on Hawks legs. Who just grinned sharply and side eyed you. “Definitely. Thanks for the food.” You blinked at him with an open mouth. This just, got really uncomfortable? What. The male nurse was already out the door, winking at you as if you were about to get proposed or whatever. What kind of inside joke was this. Joke. Right. Had to be a joke. You laugh nervously. “Haha, wow. He acted like we’re a couple. Crazy!” Hawks had just pulled the tablet closer and was currently busy putting some jam on bread. He’s frowning at the quality of the hospital food. His bread’s crumbling like a bitch. “Is it? I’m hurt.” He deadpans, looking around to see what else was at his disposal. “Am I not up to your standart?” It sounded so serious. You wanna laugh but the look he gives you makes it die in your throat and begin to rot in there.

“We.. Uhm.. What?” Deer in headlights. Right there. Suddenly you felt like you were sitting in a trap that was about to cut your legs off. “Come on, you could do worse.” He smiled warmly and took a bite out of his bread before murring. “This is disgusting.. and at the very least some kind of health violation..” He blerghs before putting the food back down. “I’ll take you somewhere nicer once I’m out, yeah?” What’s going on. You’re having a fever dream. Probably on the floor having a seizure and all of this was not happening. “Y/n. You’re zoning out.” Hawks was still looking at you. You stare back. “Like.. a romantic date..?” It just slips out but the fact that it did made him perk up and smile a bit wider. “Finally, you’re catching on, chickadee.” Is this a dream come true or a nightmare.

“Did.. did you tell the nurses we’re dating already?” There’s no way he would, right? “I mean, obviously.” How wrong you were. “We basically already are.” The blonde picked the bread up again and frowned at it. He’s probably really hungry from having eaten nothing but maybe.. nibbled some raw meat or whatever. “You saving me was like a wake up call. You really did me dirty, y/n. Not once did anyone leave that kind of impression. Also, come on, number 2. I think I’m repeating myself when I say you could do worse. Or more like, you would do worse. Who’d beat me? Endeavor surely is not on that list, believe me.” Your head is spinning. Endeavor? What? Who— How??

“I- I’m..” What? Flattered? You felt like saying no was rude even though it was in your right to refuse this.. advancement. “I’m.. not interested.. I mean- this is kind of rushed, right?” Of course you were interested. Like many women, Hawks was an idol in any form. He was attractive and smart and always there to help and like many, you had been part of some fan forums. He just grinned at you when you were done speaking. “Aw.. Well, that’s fine. I’m up for a game of tag.” Which is not the response one should have to being rejected. A game of tag? “I’m..” You’re out of words. What are you supposed to be telling him? This was fucking out of whack. Suddenly you’d rather be in the car with the dude that you paid than in this room.

“No thanks?” The stupor that had a grip on you was not letting go. You’re too dumbfounded to really just, argue. You’re too nervous to lose your shit on the man. You’re just staring at his smiling face, that was just trying to make you want to calm down and be safe. Instead, it made you uncomfortable. The man shook a bit as if he was holding in laughter before taking a huge bite of his bread. Chewing thoughtfully and then swallowing. Tilting his head to the side. “Hah. That’s cute.” He’s not taking you seriously. “I.. should probably go. But-“ You want to wish him a good recovery but it felt off now. You get up and bow to him before making your way to the door. “You sure that move is in your best interest?” You blink and turn around.

“What?” He’s bandaged up and his one wing was in a cast and somehow he still intimidated you with a weird, predatory smile. “No money, bet you got no insurance..” Right. How would someone like her pay for insurance.. “At this rate you’re ending up on the street. Would fucking suck if somehow your landlord caught wind of that, eh?” Oh what. “I’ll.. stop- you’re really freaking me out. I’m telling-“ “Who?” He cut you off. He just leaned back a little and grinned wider. “Who are you going to tell that would believe you over me?” He points at himself. “Come on, chickadee. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. Don’t you want a comfy life? Doting partner? You can’t do any better than this.” You’re going crazy. You’re going stir crazy. That’s the only explanation.

“You.. I.. do not- Why are you doing this?” Your eyes are tearing up and it seems to make something snap a little in him, because he winces and his expression softens. “Ah- No, hold up don’t cry- Come on-“ He actually got up, dragging the IV drip after himself as he made his way over to him. His left leg was bandaged up and in a cast too- she’s confused how that break happened. Did the vet just overlook it? “Don’t you get this? Can’t you see the raw opportunity in front of you? This is like, a golden ticket into a better life. No one else would slap this down. Literally, people would kill to be in your shoes right now. You should be happy!” He gently takes your hands into his hands and leaned a bit in. “I know I am.”

You weren’t happy. Not at all. You were scared, your idol was blackmailing you with becoming homeless. No one would believe you, some random chick that had no friends and a family that hated her and there was no getting away. You’re not smart enough to come up with some detailed strategy to get out of this. “I wanna go home.” You whimper quietly as he leaned his forehead against yours. Only getting a soft, happy sigh in return. “Don’t worry, little chickadee.. I’ll have some people bring your stuff to my place. I got enough room for us two. You’ll love it. Do you like pools? I got one-“ His talking is getting muffled as ringing took over your ears. He was trying to make this sound so much better but it does not change anything. Somehow you felt like this was the end of your life, or, at the very least, the start of something awful. Maybe it’d be beautiful if you gave it a chance in the future but right now? Right now you were scared. A lot. Looking at his eyes you felt like there was no escape. Maybe there really wasn’t.

[loveburnsbrighter]

Like a Blushing Rose

Written for a lovely anon who requested little embarrassing moments :) read it on ao3

"What was that?"

David freezes.  Maybe if he stays really still, Patrick won't be able to see him.

"David," Patrick says with a huff of laughter.  "I can still see you, even when you stand really still."

Okay, fuck that plan, then.  David relaxes.  "What was what?"  He says as breezily as he can manage.  (Nevermind that he's not breezy at his best.)

"David," Patrick says again, in his patented teasing voice.  "Did you belch?"

"Okay, firstly, that's a gross word and I hate it," David clarifies, because Patrick's vocabulary, as it turns out, is atrocious.  "And secondly, no, I did not.  That's a disgusting thing to do in public."

"Is it technically public if it's just us two in here?"  Patrick cocks his head, a show of innocence that's so full of shit, and gestures at the admittedly empty shopping floor.  

David bristles to hide the little shiver that just us two gives him.  "Please don't remind me that we're quiet," he snaps instead.

Patrick just laughs at him.  "Told you the cafe's Super Burrito was a bad idea."  

"You know what, this isn't a discussion we're having," David announces.  He hates how out of control he feels.  He hates that Patrick is having fun humiliating him.  He hates that he actually doesn't hate either of those things, that Patrick's savant-level ability to press all of his buttons with  complete accuracy gives him a little thrill that he's chosen not to poke at thus far.

The thing about the beginning of a relationship is that there's no way of knowing how the other person will react as you slowly become a little more accessible to them, a little more human.  In the scant few weeks they've been dating, David has tried to stay at his filet mignon for Patrick, and now he's unwittingly exposed himself at his Super Burrito.

"David, it's okay," Patrick says gently.  "There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Oh my God."  David tosses his hands up.  "How are we still fucking talking about this?"  

He cringes, expecting Patrick to be cowed by this, but he should know better at this point.  Patrick is smiling at him, endeared by David's harshness rather than repelled by it.  "Would it make you feel better if I burped, too?"

David's jaw actually drops in horror.  "No, it would not.  Literally at all."

"Okay," Patrick says, holding his hands up in surrender.  "But I just want you to know that there is really nothing to be embarrassed about.  You can't always control your body, right?"

David really doesn't know how to handle Patrick's blend of teasing and gentle sincerity right now.  Humiliation wars in him with his desire to let it go, because for some reason Patrick hasn't turned away at him, even after doing something as disgusting as — he has to swallow a gag at the thought — belching in public.  Finally, he sighs and looks at Patrick.  "Can we just drop it?  And never bring it up again?"

Patrick's eyes soften, though the teasing smile doesn't slip completely off his face.  "Consider it forgotten," he says.  And when he scrubs a firm hand over David's back, David lets himself think, maybe.  Maybe this, the first guy to still want to touch him after seeing his body betray him, maybe this one will work out.

There's a wet spot on David's shirt.  

It takes him a moment or two to orient himself — they're at Ray's, and Ray is out with a client.  It's their day off from work, and they're on the couch, and they must have fallen asleep watching TV.  Patrick's head is resting on David's chest, and his mouth is slightly open, and… 

Drool.  Patrick has drooled on his shirt.

David is first horrified by the drool on his shirt, because ew, and then he's horrified because in equal measure to his horror, he finds that he's finding this whole thing endearing.  And a bit relieving — finally, a tangible physical flaw, a little imperfection to prove that Patrick is a real person, who apparently drools in his sleep.

It's endearing enough that instead of leaping up and spot cleaning his shirt immediately, David finds himself petting a hand over Patrick's hair.  Patrick snuffles, and David does it again, encouraged.  When he runs his fingers between the shorn strands — not tugging, just seeing how it feels — Patrick sniffs and shifts and blinks awake, and David tugs his hand back guiltily.

"Mm," Patrick says, voice thick, not lifting his head from David's chest, "How long was I asleep?"

"About an hour and a half," David says, petting his hair again.

Patrick groans, wipes his mouth and lifts his head, and then he pauses.  "You got something…"  He points to the wet spot on David's shirt, and then stiffens.  "Oh my God," he says, and covers his face.  "David —"

"It's okay," David assures him, because for some reason it really is.  Because it's Patrick, and David has learned over the past several months that he'll make a lot more allowances for Patrick than he ever could have thought.

"It only happens when I sleep during the day," Patrick says from between his fingers. "I'm so sorry, I'll pay to have your shirt cleaned —"

"Hey," David says, pulling at Patrick's fingers.  "Don't touch your face, it's bad for your skin."  He succeeds in prying Patrick's hands away from his face, which is bright red.  David can't help but touch it; the warmth radiating off Patrick's skin is intoxicating, which is a thought he's interested in chasing down the line — but not right now.  "It's fine, Patrick."

Patrick chances a look up at him with the biggest set of puppy-dog eyes David has ever seen on an adult.  "But your shirt!  You're not mad?"

"I'm as surprised as you are," David tells him with absolute sincerity.  "But I guess…it's kind of…," he takes a long pause, looking for a word.  "Endearing."  He cringes, waiting for Patrick to react.

Patrick reacts by blushing harder, which David thinks is very fun and adorable of him, the bloodrush painting his ears, his neck.  "Okay," he says.  "I'm…really embarrassed," he admits.

"Mm, shocking," David can't help but tease.  "It's okay, Patrick.  I promise."

"Oh, you promise?"  Patrick shuffles up, eyes dropping to David's mouth.

"Mhmm," David says, smiling into the kiss Patrick offers him.  He pulls back and leans his forehead against Patrick's, and he can't help but think that maybe, at this exact second, everything really is okay.

They're driving home from a conference when he sees it.

David generally doesn't attend these sorts of functions, but this one was a one-day affair in Elmdale, there and back without having to stay in a dusty motel (Patrick had hit David with the driest expression in his repertoire when David had expressed this point), and there was a workshop called "The Power of a Cohesive Aesthetic," so David had agreed with what he considers to have been a very modest level of bitching.

The radio is on low and Patrick is relaxed, one hand on the bottom of the wheel and the other on David's thigh, chattering about the Greater Elms Business Association panel he attended, and David can't really be blamed for letting his attention drift a bit; watching Patrick's face move through his excitement is simply much more fun than actually listening to what the CFO of Elm Glenn's premiere laundry facility had to say about bargain buying.  They will not be applying that to the Apothecary, thanks so much.

David lets his gaze drift down Patrick's profile — the slight curl of the hair at his neck that says he's overdue for a cut, the stiff collar of his teal shirt, the strain of the fabric where he's rolled his cuffs up, the long, transparent sticker that reads XL XL XL XL down his chest — 

Wait a second.

"Um, Patrick, honey?"  David says delicately, completely disrupting whatever Patrick was saying about cheaper office supplies — although, actually, if Patrick wants to cut costs, carbon paper and premium colored ink are surely the places to do it.  "Is that a new shirt?"

"Yeah."  Patrick glances at him for a second, one eyebrow raised almost imperceptibly.  "You were with me when I bought this.  Do you not like it?"  He frowns.

David does remember — after being coerced into Kohls on the promise that he wouldn't have to try anything on himself, he'd actually quite enjoyed the little fashion show Patrick had given him, and it had gotten him into slim-fit jeans (he didn't buy them, but, baby steps).  And he remembers thoroughly endorsing this color on Patrick — it brings out his natural coloring a bit, so that even under the harshest fluorescents he doesn't look cadaverous.  That assessment is what probably led Patrick to wear it to a conference at a university, with its stupid economical lighting and paint jobs.

"I love the shirt," David says emphatically, because he doesn't want Patrick stuffing it in the back of his closet, never to be seen again.  "Um, it's just.  You've got a price tag..?"  He reaches over and delicately plucks at a corner of it; it separates from Patrick's chest with a soft ripping sound.  

"Oh my God," Patrick says; his eyes are on the road, but his ears redden considerably.  "Do you think that was there all day?"

"Um.  I don't think it magically appeared there halfway through the day.  So."  David cringes, trying to be sympathetic but unable to imagine leaving the house without checking over his clothes first. 

Patrick's face only flames further.  "I talked to so many people today!  David, I had a whole conversation with the president of the Greater —"

"Greater Elms Business Association, I know," David says, pained that he's in love with a man who cares about the opinion of the Greater Elm's Business Association's president.

"They must have thought I was an idiot," Patrick says miserably, shaking his head at the road.  "Damn it, and I really killed them with that joke about British accountants…"

David grits his teeth over that one.  "I'm sure they didn't notice.  I mean, I didn't notice, and I think I pay just a little more attention to your clothes slash body than the average person?"

Patrick's mouth twists.  "I guess that's true."

"Um, you guess?"  David paws at Patrick's shoulder playfully.  "When we get home I'll get you out of this shirt and prove it to you."  He tries for a sexy growl, knowing the effect will be more goofy (he's not really the growling type) and that it will make Patrick laugh.

He does laugh, just a little bit.  "I know what you're doing, David," he says, smiling sideways at the freeway, "and if you try to distract me now I will send us straight into a guardrail."

David pulls back.  "Wouldn't want that."  But Patrick's blush is almost gone.  "So…what else did you learn at your panel today?"  He knows he'll regret asking, but as Patrick lights back up and launches into a detailed description of whatever it is (so he's already zoning out, can he be blamed?) he's glad that he did.  He laces his fingers with Patrick's and watches his expressions shift and change, and humoring Patrick, pleasing him, lifting him back up is so easy and feels so good that David thinks he could do it for the rest of his life. 

[randomly-random-jen]

The Completely Inaccurate Misadventures [2/?]

[part 1]

2. In Which Mistakes Are Made

A hum built around Church then a POP. Carolina was suddenly staring at him, head cocked. “Where’s your armor?”

It took him a split-second to register her confused words. He glanced down at his clothes and shrugged. “It’s not like it matters what I look like. I’m a frickin computer program. I’m non-corporeal. I don’t need armor if I can’t be shot.”

She laughed.

“What?”

“I didn’t think you knew what non-corporeal meant.”

“Hey, fuck you. I’m not an idiot. I have a Ph.D. in like five things. Uh- computer science, and uh-” He rubbed his forehead. “Engineering.”

Carolina kept laughing. “For someone that’s made entirely of memories, you sure forget a lot.”

“Not enough,” he muttered. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his shoes again. That right lace was still untied. Stupid shoelace.

Her laughter tapered off. “Church, what’s wrong?”

“Epsilon. My name is Epsilon.” He couldn’t take it anymore. He blinked out, cocooning himself in the little corner of Carolina’s brain that he’d claimed for himself. He could go back into the memory chip in her armor, but, yeah, that wasn’t fun last time. Carolina’s thoughts tickled the back of his mind. He burrowed under the covers. “Go away.”

“Jesus, Church, do you ever clean up after yourself?”

He tossed the blanket off to find Tex looking around, lips curled in disgust. She picked up an empty pizza box then dropped it, wiping her hands on her pants.

“What the hell are you doing here? Get out.”

“I thought we established that you’re stuck with me.”

“Well go find your own place to live.”

“Carolina know she’s renting brain space to a slob? She was always super meticulous about tidiness even as a kid.”

Church groaned, tossing the blanket back over his face. “When will this nightmare end?”

He felt the side of the bed dip then Tex pulled the blanket down. He just glared at her.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said.

“For what?”

“Making you question your existence.”

“Fucking existential crisis,” he muttered, looking away.

“Move over.” She nudged him with her leg so he scooted over to let her lie down. They didn’t say anything for a long time, but Church was very aware of the side of her body pressed up against his. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to remind himself that none of this was real. The room, the pizza box, himself. None of it was real. Just ones and zeroes he arranged in a comforting pattern.

“This is worse than our first apartment. Remember, in Boston?”

Church snorted. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“There were rats, Church. Rats.”

He chuckled. I remember you climbing up on the counters. The big, strong Marine—scared of a little mouse.”

“It was a fucking rat. They carry diseases and stuff.”

Church couldn’t hold back the laughter at the memory. Or how offended Tex sounded right now. Then she punched him in the arm.

“Ow.”

“Jerk.”

They stared at each other a long time, lying on that bed. A whole hurricane of emotions swirled in Church’s head. And as always, Tex was at the center of them. “We had some good times, right?” he finally asked. “It wasn’t all bad.”

“No, it wasn’t all bad.”

Memories he’d tried to keep locked in one of those boxes leaked out. The apartment with the rats, his graduation from MIT, their first house, feeling utterly lost when she deployed, the Christmas he tried to make turkey and didn’t know you had to thaw it for days, and she just laughed and laughed that a genius could be so dumb. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stuff them away before they overwhelmed him.

But they didn’t. They slowed, and the noise in his brain quieted. The memories were still there, though. Tex in a wedding gown. And combat boots. Because she’s Tex. He’d never been so in awe as that day, watching her walk down the aisle. How could he be so fucking lucky? The image morphed to Tex painting a room. Bright sunny yellow. Stomach just started to swell.

Tears slipped from the corners of his eyes.

He was rushing to the hospital. He’d been at a conference in London. He’d hitched the first red-eye home he could get, but the traffic was awful, and his heart was pounding the whole drive. He’d stumbled into the room, tripping over his goddamn shoelace, and found Tex cuddling a little pink bundle. He’d stopped breathing. He took back the awe thing. This day was the most awe-inspiring day.

Sorry, I’m late, was all he could say.

Tex had shaken her head like she expected him to be a complete disaster. And accepted it. “It’s okay,” she said, motioning him over. “You’ll just have to make sure you’re on time for the next one.”

“Next one?” He hadn’t even gotten used to the idea of this one.

She laughed at the terrified look on his face.

There was no next one, though. The memories faded, leaving him with a sort of confused contentment. “Did you do that?” he whispered. “I’ve never been able to control them. Not the-” He waved his hand in the air, unable to articulate his meaning. “They always overwhelm me.” He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “I fucked everything up,” he mumbled. “After- After Allison died. I fucked it all up. My life and Carolina’s. And all the Freelancers and basically the whole fucking galaxy”

Tex leaned her head on his shoulder. “That was someone else, Church. You’re not that person.”

“Then why am I stuck with his memories?”

She didn’t answer. They just laid there staring at the ceiling fan. After a while Tex sighed. “You should think about getting a bigger place. Or at least cleaning up. This, Church, is gross.”

“Why? You moving in?”

“Epsilon? Epsilon? Get out here,” a distant voice called.

Church groaned. “The landlady can be such a pain sometimes.”

Tex laughed. “Are you going to answer her?”

“No. I’m mad at her. First, she doesn’t believe me when I said someone was calling my name then she turned me off, and then she treats me like she owns me. I’m not- I’m not a-” He sighed. “I don’t know what I am anymore.”

“Epsilon!”

“She sounds pissed.”

“Yeah, and she’s just like her mother when she gets angry. It’s pretty fucking scary.”

Tex smacked his arm, making him laugh.

Carolina’s tone changed. “Church? Please, I’m sorry for whatever I said. Would just come out here so we can talk.”

His heart seized up.

“Please, Church.”

He glanced at Tex then blinked. He stood in front of Carolina, arms crossed. “What?”

She sighed. “Thank you. I’ve been calling for ages.”

“I know; I’ve been ignoring you.”

Her shoulders slumped, and Church felt like a complete ass. Before he could say anything else, though, she let out a deep breath. “I wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

He cocked his head at her. “I’m a computer program; I don’t have feelings.”

“What is with you today?”

The anger was bubbling up again until he felt a calming sensation start at the back of his head. An image of Tex tossing all of his stuff out the window. “What?” she asked. “This place is gross.”

He pressed his fingers against his temples. “Just stop. Everyone stop.”

“Church, are you okay?” Carolina sounded alarmed. And when he loosened the barrier between their thoughts, he could feel the concern. And a tinge of fear. Shit shit shit. If there was one thing Leonard Church was good at it was hurting the people he cared about.

He swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Carolina.” He realized he had no idea what he was apologizing for anymore. An image of a girl in pigtails on a swing yelling, “higher,” filled his head.

“Stop doing that,” he growled getting another concerned head cock from the woman in front of him. “Not you,” he told her.

That didn’t help the situation. “I think there’s something wrong with you,” Carolina said slowly. “Maybe your program is degrading or something. I’m worried, Church.”

He blinked at her. “I didn’t think you cared.”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

“No, go back.”

He groaned. This day was getting better and better. Carolina stared at him, waiting.

Fuck. “I gotta go.” He popped into the memory unit. It was much quieter. Not like when she turned it off, but the outside world was turned to a dull hum. “Finally.” He quickly built a wall around himself.

“Church, don’t do that. Get out here right now. Quit being a baby,” Carolina said, her voice distant.

“You’re going to have to deal with her eventually.”

He growled. “Can we discuss this whole deletion program again?”

Tex rolled her eyes and squatted in front of him. “You know you don’t want that. I can feel it.”

He sighed. “Well can you stop fucking with my memories and reading my thoughts?”

“Okay. On one condition.”

“Anything.”

“You clean out that pigsty you call a room.”

“Fine, whatever.”

Tex brushed the hair from his face. “Go talk to her.”

“But I don’t wanna. She’s going to yell at me again.”

“Do you blame her? You’re acting like an asshole.”

He looked away. “Well, she’s scary. And intimidating. And scary. She’s way bigger than me. She can turn me off. Do you know how terrifying that is?”

“Yes. Now go tell her.” Tex gave him a hard shove, and he stumbled back into reality.

“The fuck?”

Anxiety rolled off of Carolina where she stood—he didn’t even need their flimsy neural link to feel it. “What is going on?” she asked tensely. “Is there something wrong with your programming. I need to know.”

“No,” he said, kicking imaginary dirt. “There’s nothing wrong with my programming.”

She sat down in front of him. “Then what’s wrong?”

He shrugged. “Just got a lot on my mind.”

“Is this about the whispers.”

He looked out at the trees. Anywhere but at her. “Maybe.”

There was a soft hiss, and when he looked back, she was pulling off her helmet. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “You weren’t making any sense. I had to do something.”

“You turned me off. I didn’t like it.”

“Oh.”

“That’s not fair, you know.”

Carolina was quiet a moment. “I guess I didn’t think about that.”

“Because I’m not a person to you; I’m just a tool. I tried to tell her that.”

“Her?”

He cringed when he realized what he’d said. Then sighed. “Tex. She’s in here, too. Apparently, I’m unable to get rid of her.”

“Tex is in there. In the memory unit?”

“In my head. My code, you know. I tried deleting her. Right before you rescued me from the storage unit. I did delete her. It was better for both of us because all we ever do is make each other miserable. And she was gone for a while. But I guess there’s some part of my coding that rewrites her every time she’s deleted.”

“Tex is in there,” she repeated.

Church sighed. “Look, I know you two have had your differences, but-”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” She got up and walked away.

What? “Hey, I was talking to you,” he yelled, but she kept walking. He popped up in front of her. “You can’t actually get away from me, you know.”

“I could turn you off again.”

He froze, watching her walk away, insides twisting, before appearing next to her again. “Please don’t do that, Carolina. Don’t do that ever again.”

She glanced at him then quickly away, face tight. “Then put your armor back on.”

What was with her and the 180 change of subjects? “Why?”

“Because you look like him,” she shouted. “And it makes it really, really hard to talk to you right now.”

“Oh. Right.” He just stared at her, but she wouldn’t look at him. He sighed and imagined himself back in his armor. “Better?”

She still didn’t look at him. “God, can we not do this?”

Church was quiet. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

He popped back into his room. His stuff was shoved into a corner. “Hey, you brought it back in.”

Tex shrugged. “Seemed mean to get rid of it all when Carolina was already kicking you around like a puppy dog.”

He shook his head. “You know, most people don’t kick puppies.”

She laughed. “You okay?”

“Do you care?”

Maybe she sensed that he wasn’t trying to be snarky because his tone sure didn’t convey it, but he was tired and confused and frustrated. Tex pushed his glasses up his nose. “Yes, I care, Church. I’ve always cared even when I didn’t show it.”

“Okay.” He didn’t look at her. “I’m not sure what’s real anymore. I’m not even sure what’s going on.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. Things were a little less confusing without-” She was gone. “Oh, come on, Tex, don’t be like that. I didn’t mean- Aw, fuck it. I’m done with this shit.” 

Maybe there was something wrong with his code because he felt like he was losing his fucking mind. He ran every diagnostic he could think of, and they all came back normal. Well as normal as they ever did because Church had always been a little unstable. There was this sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he didn’t like it.

“Carolina?” he asked the empty room. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight.”

She didn’t answer.

God, he was so tired. Which made no sense because he was just code. Code couldn’t get tired. But that’s how he felt. Like he could just delete his entire program and not care.

“Please don’t do that.” Carolina’s voice boomed in the small space. “Church?”

He popped up in front of her but couldn’t look at her. The shame was overwhelming. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just an asshole, I guess.”

“Church, I-” Her voice caught, getting his attention. “I don’t want you to leave. It was just a fight. People fight. Roommates especially.” She looked away.

“Roommates?”

“You are taking up space in my brain.”

Church smiled weakly. “I guess. About that—Tex thinks we should get to have more space. Maybe two bedrooms. One to sleep in and one for my junk.”

She frowned at him. “Are you serious about Tex?”

He nodded. He didn’t know how to explain it. He kicked one of those invisible rocks again. “Please don’t make her leave. She will if you ask, but-”

Carolina rubbed her temples in a very familiar way then reached behind her and yanked his memory unit from her armor. It was like having his existence ripped from him. The room was gone. The quiet murmur of her thoughts—white noise he’d gotten used to. Gone. He just stared at her.

“Why did you do that?”

“I need a break, okay? And you asked me not to shut you off.”

“Oh.” He felt cold. Empty. lost.

“What’s Tex got to say about that?” The disdain rolled off her lips.

Church swallowed hard, not looking at her. “She’s just complaining about interior decorators.”

Carolina blinked at him then shook her head like he was just too difficult to understand.

“Nevermind.”

“Can I see her?” she asked softly after a while.

“I- I don’t know. I mean, she’s inside my head.”

“She’s code like you, right? Can’t she just be like you can?”

“I guess. Hold on.”

The memory unit was dark. And empty. “Tex?”

“This is a bad idea, Church,” she said coming up behind him. 

“Maybe it’ll help.”

She scoffed. “In what reality has me and Carolina speaking ever helped? She hates me.”

Church stared at the ground. You’d think he’d imagine his shoe tied by now. He bent down to fix it.

“Fine.”

He looked around. Tex was gone. Shit. He blinked back outside. Tex was flickering next to him.

“Okay,” she said, “this isn’t as easy as it looks.”

Church was suddenly filled with apprehension. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

“Mom?”

They both froze. Carolina’s face was streaked with tears. Church had forgotten Tex didn’t have her armor on. And she wasn’t wearing the face they’d given the beta AI. He didn’t know what to do now. Tex looked just as shocked and confused and terrified. Then Carolina was gone. Running. She hit a burst of speed from her equipment and was out of sight.

“Um, can’t we just go get her?”

He looked down at the memory unit. “She pulled me.” He blinked up at Tex. “She left me.”

“I’m sorry, Church. I’m sure she’ll come back.”

He sat down, head in his hands. “Yeah, because this is a valuable piece of tech.”

Tex sat next to him. “Because she cares about you.”

“I’m just a computer program, remember. That’s all I’ll ever be.”

“When did you get so melodramatic?”

He snorted. “When did I meet you?”

She bumped into him, nearly knocking him over. “What do we do now?”

“I guess we wait and see if she comes back.”

And if she doesn’t? He heard the words inside his head.

He didn’t want to think about that.

[part 3]

[kweebtrash]

Cupid’s Chokehold(M)

Messy Chapter 12

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut, fluff

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: slight anxiety/panic attack, overthinking and nervousness, talks about therapy and medication,

Features: unprotected sex, car sex, creampie, oral(giving/receiving), swallowing, classroom sex, little bit of bondage, rough/cute sex, general biting and hair pulling.

Word Count: 13.2k

A/N: Well my beautiful angel babies, it’s here, The final chapter. i’m a little emotional writing it because i know so many people enjoy it and it’s made me a lot of friends. i hope you guys like it. it’s a bit shorter than normal and not as angsty (LOL). thanks for being there with me and keeping up with all the updates and loving the characters as much as I do. Some things are left a bit open ended and aren’t delved into just because this was already following the course of a few months and I wanted to focus on JnEri instead of Eri’s other relationships at this moment. I hope you guys stay with me in my future endeavors and thanks for being so supportive. I love my nctzens! Also, i’m so nervous that this reads terribly and i really hope no one is disappointed.

Messy Masterlist   Buy me a Ko-Fi    Other Stories

Johnny’s POV

They shoved me away harshly, so much so that I slipped out of them. Their breath was increasing into a hyperventilating state and all they could do was shake their hands to try and direct the panic somewhere else. "Eri! Eri! What's wrong?!" I grabbed onto their shoulders but they slapped my hands away.

"Don't! Don't touch me!" Suddenly my cheek was blazoned with red as they hit me. "Don't say that to me ever!"

"What the fuck?! What do you mean?!"

"You don't love me! Don't you dare fucking play games with me you asshole!"

"Games? I'm not playing games! I mean it! I've been in love with you for months now! I was just too chicken shit to say it...and this is why…" My heart felt like it was crushed into pieces at their rejection. It was what I feared the most, well that and not being able to get my shit together or put the burden of my mental incapabilities on them. I felt tears prickling at my eyes and swallowed hard, trying not to unravel before them.

"You said I would never be your girlfriend!"

"I LIED DAMNIT! I lied because I was scared! I lied because I didn't want you to know how I felt! It was a lie!"

"And you're lying now!!"

"I am not! Fuck, Eri!! I'm in love with you!! I. Love. You. You fucking idiot!!"

"You're the idiot!!" They screamed back. They were the one to cry first; big, rushed tears.

"Why do you think I'm lying?!"

"Because!!!" They hiccuped. "My ex girlfriend never loved me and the only other person that did, I broke his heart. I've never had love or accepted it. How could someone love me?"

"I love you because your gorgeous. You're talented. You're there for me. You make me laugh. You make me irritated. You the best cuddler. You listen to me. You never judged me. You want to protect me. You've taught me so much. You've been there for me. I love you because you're you."

"P-please…" Their voice lowered to the softest of whimpers. "Please don't say that, Johnny. Please don't. Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me."

I cupped their face in my hands and pressed gentle kisses to their lips. "Baby, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm right here. Right here… I'm not leaving."

They clutched onto my sweatshirt tightly, their little hands trembling. "I don't want to hurt. I've been through so much. I'll fucking crumble, Johnny."

"Eri, I'm right there with you. You know that. I'm down on my knees and desperate for something good in my life. You're that something."

"No no no. No I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not." They shook their head and I felt like they were just speaking nonsense now.

"Eri… look at me." They shook their head harder and I tilted their chin up so their eyes could meet mine. "I'm not joking. I'm in love with you." Another round of tears burst forth and they shoved their head into my chest. I held them tight, rubbing their back and trying to get them to try and breathe a little better. "Ssh baby...sshhhh." After a few mostly silent moments of their breath evening out and their sniffles dissipating, they finally spoke out in a whisper. 

"I love you too."

I froze then. What? Did they just-? After all of that that was how they felt? I held them at arms length and looked at them, confused. "You-? You-?"

They scrubbed the tears away from their cheeks and exhaled a shaky breath. "I never thought I could or I would. I never thought you would. I fell for you faster than I ever had before. I've wanted you for so long and thought you were still a fuckboy who didn't want a relationship and just wanted to fuck around. You stupid bastard, I hate you for making me fall in love with you. I'm so scared…"

"Me too. I've never had a relationship where I've been in love before. I don't know what to do, I just...feel it."

"So...what do we do?" They asked.

"Do you want to make it "official"?"

We both sat awkwardly and in silence for a moment. Eri clasped their hands in their lap while I bounced my leg nervously. "Like...you're my boyfriend now?"

"Yeah. That."

"Oh."

I pushed my hair back then twiddled my thumbs. Jesus, fuck, why were they taking so long? What did it take to get them to say yes? Or no. Fuck, what if they said no? They wouldn't, would they? Oh god.

Suddenly they kissed me, catching me off guard. They wrapped their arms around my neck and sighed softly. "You're my boyfriend."

"About damn time." I chuckled and grabbed onto them, showering them in kisses and hugs.

"Stop being so lovey dovey! It's gross!" They giggled.

"Yeah right! You like it."

"I do. Also, I don't celebrate Valentine's day, just so you know."

"Thank God. I normally just deal with Jae's birthday so I don't have time for it but since Quinn will distract him maybe you could sit on my lap while I'm inside you and watch horror movies?"

"Hmmm, we haven't done that in awhile. I want that. Give me that. And pizza."

"You got it." I smiled and gave them another kiss. "My girlfriend."

"Speaking of being inside me...you were still hard that whole time."

"Yyyeeaaahhhhhh don't remind me. It takes forever to go down sometimes." I shoved my face in their chest to hide my awkwardness and embarrassment.

"Well….we should celebrate right? Maybe we could-?" Their hand slipped between us to rub at my erection and grip it slightly. “You know...”consummate the relationship” or whatever the fuck they say.”

"You don't have to tell me twice." I was so glad to get rid of all the tension and fear, everything that was holding me back from ever confessing. Here I was with my girlfriend, about to make love to them even if it was in the back of my shitty car. It didn’t matter because I was with them and I always would be. I laid them back down and wrapped their legs around my waist before plunging back inside. It was perfect now, everything was perfect. The way they felt around me, the way I felt inside them, this moment, and being with them. I never wanted to let them go. I fucked them slower, like I had been before with no protests. It was still a bit strange to grasp the concept of making love as I had never said that in reference to any of my hookups, but of course this was different. Eri wasn’t just a hookup anymore. They were the love of my life. Even our kisses were slower and the sensation of their tongue flowing over mine flowed straight to my cock. They let out a little gasp when I adjusted my hips to roll into them. "Good?" I panted.

They nodded and dug their fingernails into my lower back, hiking their legs up higher. "There...hmm!"

It was so cute to hear how good I was making them feel. I nudged my lips beneath their jaw and give it a small bites as I moved faster. "You feel so damn good, Eri." I whispered in their ear.

Their legs tightened around me and our hands suddenly came together squeezing tight as we didn't want to let go. With my other free hand I shifted it into the minimal space between us to give well deserved attention to their clit. Eri arched as their walls clamped down around me tight. When they did that my body would go insane. That tightness engulfing me made me a mess and I wanted to cum so bad. They seemed close too as they were now rolling their hips to collide with my own and get there faster. Their hand burrowed into my hair, seizing a fistfull as I felt their cum envelop me. I braced myself against the door chasing after their orgasm with heavy pants and groans. My mind was mush now, my hips snapping harder, and body finally sweltering in the cold air. I felt my cock swell and I remembered that they were going to swallow.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and a loud honk that scared the shit out of me. I had no idea why that ended up triggering my cum to release, maybe the sudden movement or the fact that Eri would ease up on their suffocating tightness but thick ropes of cum painted their insides. I couldn't help by throw my head back and let out the deepest moan. Even if it was a mistake that feeling was so fucking amazing. "Johnny!!!" They yelled, snapping me out of my bliss. "You idiot! I told you not to!!"

"I was about to pull out! It was an accident!" I wiped away the fog from the window and saw that Jae and Quinn we're now approaching. "Fuck! It's them! They're here!"

"Oh Jesus, great! How the fuck am I supposed to clean this up? Do you have any napkins or something??" I pulled out slowly and just pulled up my underwear and sweats not caring about the uncomfortable wetness. Besides it definitely wasn't as bad as what I made Eri deal with.

"No, I don't think so. I'm sorry. Just like...maybe stay still and it won't come out?"

"Great. Wonderful. I swear to god Johnny I'm gonna kill you."

Yes, yes I know." I shoved my hoodie down lower to try and cover my slowly disappearing hard on so Jae wouldn't see it. He knocked on the window and I opened the door, getting out to open the hood of my car. I turned back towards Eri as they shimmied down their dress slowly, trying as much as possible not to move as they clenched their thighs tight. "We'll be out of here in no time and then you can shower, I promise."

"Just tell Jae to hurry the fuck up." They hissed.

"I will!....I love you." I said as a goodbye.

I could tell that made them smile at least.

--

Eri's POV

He was stupid and amazing and perfect. I hated him and loved him at the same time for making me feel a plethora of ooey gooey lovey dovey gushy feelings. Even if he had disobeyed my orders, his cum inside me felt oddly comforting. I never really told him outright that I liked it. I didn't want him to get used to it and play the dangerous line of creating a hellspawn. As I tried to stay as still as a statue Quinn jumped in the car. "Move your legs!" They said. "I'm gonna sit down."

"I can't," I grumbled.

"What? Why?"

"He came inside me…"

"ERI!!"

"I KNOW! I DONT WANT IT IN THERE BUT IT IS AND HE DOESNT HAVE TISSUES SO IM SUFFERING OK?!"

"Jesus Christ. You guys really fucked in the back of his car?"

"Yeah...and...I have to tell you something."

Their eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What?"

"I um...kinda, sorta, maybe have a boyfriend now."

"FINALLY!!" Quinn, and outside, Jae, yelled. I assumed Johnny had told his best friend as they were hooking up the jumper cables. "Took you idiots long enough! I'm still gonna murder him."

"Please don't. He's good, I promise. He's not as bad as he seems. We really care about each other. He said he loved me first."

"Oh, shit. I never expected that." They sighed. "Fine. But if he so much as has ONE fuck up I'm burying him 20 feet underground."

"Uh, it's 6 feet." I corrected.

"Not the way I'm planning it." Quinn shuffled through their handbag and pulled out a pack of tissues. "See if there's enough to clean up."

"Hopeful fucking ly. That dude cums like a super soaker." I shifted my dress up and carefully sat up. "Well don't look."

"I'm not! That's weird!" With enough space now to sit, they plopped down beside me as I tended to this irritating mess.

Johnny got back into the car and turned on the engine and I was grateful to hear it roar to life. "Thank fuck! Alright babe, we're going home!"

"Yeah, thank fuck! Don't ever take me to this place again in the winter. I'm not about getting stranded!"

"Good job, lover boy." Quinn quipped.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut it half pint. And get out of my car. We're gonna leave." 

"Johnny be nice before I throw this jizz tissue at you."

"Oh god, please don't." He cringed.

Quinn scrunched their face in disgust and stepped out. "I'll leave you guys to it and meet you back at the house later on."

"You got it."

"And please, for the love of God, do not fuck on the couch."

"It was one time!" Johnny and I said in unison.

Quinn slammed the door shut as Jae closed the hood and tapped it. "You're good to go bro!"

Johnny waved at him and Jae tossed his jumper cables in his trunk before he and Quinn got in the car and drove off. I switched from the backseat to up front, tossing the tissues on the ground (because where the hell else was I supposed to put them), and settled in. Johnny held my hand as he drove off. The heat was finally on and at last I wasn't freezing anymore. In fact I was happier than I had ever been in a very long time.

--

Being with Johnny had its ups and downs. We weren't perfect and had some kinks to work through but it was still enjoyable. Our first big argument came when I told him he needed therapy to work through his PTSD and anxiety. He had refused each time i brought it up and it put a strain on us. I wanted him to at least get some sort of help. I couldn’t be his therapy or spend our entire relationship trying to fix him. When he finally agreed to go i was so happy and gave him all of the encouragement that he needed. He even started a medication treatment and it seemed to be working for the most part. But it also changed him to a point where a distancing wedge was placed between us.

It started one night when my limbs were wrapped around him and our lips were in a flurry of never ending kisses. He was thrusting in me, vigorously at first but it had slowed down to an awkward pace that I wasn’t sure how to keep up with. Then he stopped completely.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered before I tried to kiss him again.

He snapped his head back and sighed. “I’m sorry i just...i’m not into it anymore.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. My Johnny, practically a nymphomaniac, wasn’t into sex anymore? My mind instantly panicked. We had been fucking so much since we had become an official couple that maybe he had gotten tired of me. Shit, was I getting boring? Was I not doing things he liked? My heart was pounding incredibly fast and I struggled to say a few words. “O-oh...is it something I did?”

He pulled out and laid beside me, folding his forearm over his eyes. “No, it’s not you. I just-” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

I pulled the covers over me and closed my legs. “Um...is it stress, you think? You’re graduating in two months.”

“Maybe. Can I just sleep here?”

“Of course.” I said softly. I wasn’t sure what to make of this or if i should press him further. It could have been something in passing. I mean, there were plenty of times were I started masturbating and then just didn’t feel it anymore. I hoped that was the case and not that he wasn’t attracted to me or something. Our time laying together was filled with an uncomfortable silence. I rolled onto my side and tried to distract myself with my phone as silent tears spilled down my face. 

Weeks had passed by since we touched each other. Not having sex wasn’t the end of the world, of course. I still loved him unconditionally and wouldnt leave him for something so trivial. But there was still a part of me that even craved our makeout and grinding sessions on the couch while some movie or tv show played in the background. Those were rare now but there was one night where I was a bit lucky. He had initiated it which made me excited that I was still attractive to him. Even though that seemed like such a stupid thing to worry about, I couldnt help it. Sure, we had cuddled, held hands, and did some minor kissing throughout this dry spell but when he was buried inside me it always made me feel giddy and warm, like a lovestruck idiot.

With his lips on me and getting rougher by the second, I pushed him down onto the couch and crawled on top of him, barely breaking our connection. He groaned softly and made a break to grab two handfuls of my ass and push me forward to grind on him. I took the hint and worked my hips over the center of his jeans eagerly. I parted from his sinful lips and buried my face against his neck to deeply kiss and nip at the skin there. I wanted to show him how much I needed him and how he made me an eager mess. I shoved my hands under his shirt and rubbed my hand over the soft hair on his stomach, swallowing back my squeal of delight. It always drove me insane to feel the dips of his abs and the trail of hair that lead to his cock. My hand was starting to follow that path when he whispered my name.

"U-uh, Eri."

I nipped at his ear and panted. "Yes, daddy?"

"Eri, I think-"

I kissed him again and smirked. "Don't think, just fuck." My lips made their way down his torso to the waistband of his jeans that I was trying to pry open.

"E-eri, um...hold on…"

"Oh yeah you're right," I giggled. "If we're on the couch Quinn and Jae will whine. But...we might have time for juuuusssttt a little fun." I started to unbutton his pants but he grabbed my hands roughly. 

"Eri stop!"

I squeaked in surprise and stared at him wide-eyed. He shoved me away and sat up, adjusting his clothes and avoiding eye contact. I didn't know he had wanted me to stop. I didn't think he had even said stop before then. Oh god, I just traumatized him even more. "I-im sorry! Did you say stop before? Oh god, you did, didn't you? Johnny!"

"No I hadn't said anything before then. But maybe take a fucking hint next time."

"I..I mean I thought we were okay...that you were okay." I said softly as I covered my face with my hands and hid away from him, feeling like I was a total monster. He scooted closer to me on the couch and hugged me from behind.

"No, I'm sorry.” He sighed and kissed my temple. “It's me. It's just me. I'm just still irritated at the fact that I can't do it. It just won't happen."

I turned towards his chest and buried my face in it. "I don't want to hurt you like that, Johnny. Please, I never-"

He kissed my forehead then my lips. "I promise you a thousand percent it wasn't you. My head is still just...a mess."

I set my hand in his and rested my head against his shoulder. "Are you talking about it in therapy?"

"Yeah...we have been for the past couple of sessions. It's a lot and I don't like it." He confessed.

"Do you think maybe that's why you don't want to have sex? Like bringing up all those emotions, especially with all the stuff with Rixi...maybe it's just making it harder?" I should've seen this ahead of time. I mean, I'm his fucking girlfriend and if I hadn't been so selfish I would be able to tell what was actually wrong. instead i was worrying about my appearance and his attraction to me. I wanted to kick myself.

"Potentially. I'm still not sure. I know you've been wanting to for weeks and I keep ruining stuff."

"No, you're not ruining anything. I'm being a selfish brat. I seriously can't believe that it didn’t cross my mind that you would be talking about it in therapy and it would affect how you felt. Like how stupid am I? Of course that would happen???" I groaned in frustration. "I'm not being a good girlfriend…"

"You're being a great girlfriend, babe. We just gotta work through some stuff together, you know? You're always there for me and I promise I'll get better." I ran my fingers over the lines on his palm and sniffled just a bit. I still felt guilty, way too guilty for not stopping, for not thinking past my own needs, for taking his love for granted. It made my stomach churn. I felt Johnny press his lips to the top of my head again and enclose my hand in his. "Want to cuddle, maybe?"

I laughed and smiled a bit. He had definitely turned into the bigger cuddler after we had become official. "You're a big baby, you know that?"

"I am not! You're just comfy and so soft i cant help it. Come on, pllleeeaaasseee?"

I wiped at my eyes and stood up. "Fine, lets go." I dragged him along to my room. The problem was I forgot that I had my binder spread out on my bed as I had been organizing my kpop photocards before he had arrived. I was too embarrassed to let him see and rushed over to gather the cards and shove them haphazardly into the binder. I tossed it on my desk, hoping that he didn't really pay attention to what it was but when I turned around he had a card between his index and middle finger. "You dropped your Sehun card." He snorted.

I snatched it quickly and held it to my chest. "Shut up." I growled.

"So that's why you're dating me, huh? You wanna live out your idol fantasy?" He joked, but the words stung.

"No...that's why I never talk about it with you. That's the last thing I wanted you or anyone else to think. I didn't go after anyone just because of their race. I don't want to be seen as that type of person because I know plenty of people that do. I never wanted you to feel like I was fetishizing you. I get enough of that in my own community."

"Babe, it's not that serious. It's ok."

"It is serious to me...I know a girl that specifically sleeps with Asian guys because of kpop. I get that people have a "preference" but I think "preferences" about race are just an excuse."

"I mean I don't really see race…" He said quietly.

"You should. It'll help you understand the problems I go through and even what your people go through in America. It's not a bad thing; it's an educational thing." I sighed. "Anyway, the point is that-"

"You can talk to me about kpop or Korean shit or whatever you want. I don't see you as a fetishizer or anything like that. And I certainly don't give a fuck about what your race is. I mean I do in the sense that it's important to you but if you were something else but still had your personality and I fell in love with you it would be all the same to me." He ruffled my hair which made me shove him away gently. "Besides you tell me about your hair stuff all the time even though I don't exactly get it I think it's interesting."

I put my photocard on my desk and avoided looking at him. "I'm sorry. It's just something I think about a lot…"

"Well don't. Fuck what anyone says." He pulled me into my bed and laid down, keeping me close. "Wanna hear something funny?"

I knew he was trying to lighten the mood and make me not feel as shitty. I agreed to hear him out, gently running my fingers through his hair like he loved so much. "Ok, shoot."

"I wanted to be an idol when I was younger."

"Oh my god, really?!" I asked, totally shocked.

"Yup. I even started training for a bit; going back and forth between America and Korea. But it started to get super annoying. It was like I wasn't getting anywhere. Then I started to think I would never debut. Like I'd be stuck training for like 10 years and join one of those ridiculous groups with like 40 members or some shit and I wouldn't get to showcase any of my talents. They would underestimate my singing and slap some autotune on it even though I personally don't think I need it. Or I would get all of like...2 lines in a song or something like that."

"Yeah...a few of my favorites are like that and I hate it."

"I'm sure I wouldn't even be able to play the piano or dj anymore and I would just be the "English member" that could do all the interviews. Plus I'd be away from my mom for so long that I started to hate that too. So I basically quit and attended college here for what I really wanted to do and just did music on the side. I didn't want to lose my passion for it anymore."

"I have no idea what you would be like as an idol. I feel like everyone would screenshot you being a giant meme and you would trip on everything. Oh and of course allll the fangirls would talk about your cute butt and your nice arms."

"I bet you do that to your biases." He teased.

"....this isn't about me right now."

"I think I would like all the girls fawning over me. Not the crazy ones but like the ones that like put all the hearts all over my pictures and make nice fansites. And I would have to read all the fanfiction people write and laugh my ass off."

"Don't do that! That's like every writers worst nightmare!" I exclaimed.

"And you would know how exactly?"

"......again this isn't about me."

He snorted and shifted to lay on his back. "I should have expected nothing else."

"Shut up!! This is why I didn't tell you anything!" I covered my face and rolled away from him but he instantly spooned me and squeezed me to him.

"You always call me a dork but you're the real dork here." He kissed my cheek playfully before resting his head on my shoulder. I held his hand that was around my waist and exhaled softly.

"Let's just never leave bed or think about bad shit anymore."

"Sounds like a deal. I like it. Then I wouldn't have to think about all this old trauma."

"I know. You should keep going to therapy though. I'm glad you're doing that at least. I'm proud of you." I leaned back into his warmth and kissed his cheek.

"I know. I'll keep doing it. It's just a pain in the ass and these meds are fucking with me. It's so hard to get used to them."

"Trust me. I was the same way when I first started. But I changed and adjusted them all the time. It takes awhile to find your cocktail. When I got on one of my meds it skyrocketed my sex drive and now I'm a hoe so." I joked and laughed a bit.

"Wait, was it low before?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I would say it was average for the most part. But after my girlfriend I didn't have sex with anyone except Jungwoo and that was only once. Then Quinn started convincing me to do hookups and stuff and with the meds I changed to it just worked out I guess."

"Huh…"

"What?"

"Nothing...just interesting is all. Do some meds lower your labido or something?"

"Some do." I said. "It can affect appetite, sleep, thoughts of suicide. It just depends. That's why you adjust and work through some different kinds. It takes some time, so don't worry about it now."

"Fuck, you're so smart. That makes total sense."

"Not smart, just have experience." I shifted around so I could lay my head on his chest and bury myself into him. "Let's sleep for a bit. Clear your head so we don't have to talk about heavy stuff anymore."

He hummed in agreement and pulled the covers over us but I probably fell asleep faster than he did.. Sleeping to forget was always our favorite past time but it seemed a little less worse when I had him by my side.

--

He had been busy for a bit with all his meetings with his adviser, preparing for his finals, and making sure that he was ready to go for his graduation. We weren't able to see each other that often. Even his texts were more sporadic and though I missed him so fucking much this was an important milestone in his life. I only had a year left myself and I knew he would be there for me when my time came to graduate. I would often cuddle with his shirts while I slept just to feel like I had him close by. He had told me how he liked to sleep with the little rilakkuma keychain he had gotten months ago because it reminded him of me. We had similar feeling in wanting to keep each other close and it made me so so happy. 

What also made me happy was that his portfolio show was coming up. Everyone would be able to see all the work and effort he had done as a photographer throughout his school career. It was one of the most important nights for him. I had been so excited and waiting for this for awhile now. He would still be busy in the gallery but at least I could be by his side and feel him close to me. I did myself up, making sure I wore a cute dress and my makeup was a bit more subtle than usual. I stuffed my hair into a more sleek bun and tried my damnedest to walk in some black heels I had laying around. When I arrived at the art building, the gallery show was going on full swing and I could see professors and head of departments looking at all the students works. I stepped into the space, immediately grabbing a free glass of champagne and a cheese cube they had on the refreshment table. With the cheese gone and champagne downed I click clacked my way through the wooden floor space looking for my boyfriend.

I found him caught up in a conversation that I didn't want to interrupt. I stood back, close to a wall but not disturbing any of the art pieces. My eyes wandered over his frame taking in the burgundy button up shirt and the tight fitting black dress pants that he wore. Dress pants were literally made for his ass and I found myself biting into my lower lip as I stared longer and longer. Even his thighs seemed to stretch out the fabric and I couldn't help but remember how good he looked when we got dressed up for the quince. I was already getting flustered, like an idiot, over someone that was already mine but he looked so good I couldn't help it. While I was still staring I noticed his legs starting to move towards me and instantly looked up.

"Hey, beautiful." He leaned down and gave me a kiss. I held onto his shoulders already melting at the smell of his woodsy cologne. 

"Hey yourself. You look so good. And you smell good and-"

"Should I squirt you with a water bottle, horndog?" He chuckled.

My face flushed with embarrassment. "What?! No! I just...you look nice is all. I was admiring your handsomeness."

"And my ass, right?"

"I can't help that you have the cutest little butt ever, ok?" I pouted and crossed my arms a bit. "Who were you talking to?"

"Oh, him? He's the head of my department. He was telling me about some interning opportunities because he really likes my work. I think I'm gonna check them out."

"Whoa, really? Johnny, that's awesome!"

He smiled, bright and perfect as usual. "Yeah, I'm super fucking stoked. I'm gonna stop by his office next week to get more info and start applying but I'm hype as all hell."

I gave him another kiss and hugged him. "I hope you get one. This will be really good for you."

"Yeah. Who knows? Maybe we can work for the same magazine. You write and I take pictures."

"Oh yeah? Then you can come with me all over Europe to all the cool metal festivals." 

He put his arm around my waist and took me away from my place by the wall. "I wouldn't mind that. I like traveling. Do you wanna see my stuff?"

"Of course! You never really showed me your work except from the pictures on your Instagram. I've been excited for this all day."

His cheeks turned a bit rosy and he clammed up for a moment as we walked to the far end of the gallery where his pieces were. When I looked up at the mounted pictures I took a step back. My breath practically ceased and my throat closed up. What the hell should I even say?

"Are they bad…?" He asked softly.

I was looking at myself. Dozens of pictures of myself in different settings. I had even recognized the picture he took of me on the night of his birthday party- the one where he had told me I was beautiful. I was crying, I was laughing, I was smoking, drinking, dancing, playing guitar. All these personal moments that he was now a part of and I never even knew it. I felt a lot of things, some that caught me off guard even. I felt a bit mad that he never warned me he was taking them. I felt embarrassed and shy for being captured so rawly. But I also felt honored that he would want to take pictures of me and display them for his final gallery. He had taken a chance with these pictures of me and showed it to the people who would judge him and sign off on his graduation. He had made me so vital to his career already and here I was absolutely speechless. All I could do was squeeze his hand tightly as a few tears slid down my cheeks.

"Eri, are you ok?" 

"Why me?" I finally said.

"Because you're my muse. You're the realest person I know and I hate synthesized photos. I like capturing the reality of the world and what better way to do it then with the person who basically has had as much hurt and lost as I have." I didn't want anyone else to see me cry so I turned myself inwards towards his chest as more tears fell down my face. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I never expected this...I never expected anyone to love me this much…"

"Well I do. And I don't regret submitting these for my final show. I chose these for a reason."

"Were you ever gonna tell me?"

"I had planned to but everything got into the way and it turned out being a surprise. So...surprise, yaaayyy." He tried to make the air between us lighter though I was still a hot mess. When I stayed quiet he let out a small sigh. "You hate it."

"I don't. It's just a shock to me, that's all. I feel like I'm responsible if they don't accept you or give you good notes on your gallery."

"Don't feel that way. I did what I did and like I said I don't regret it. Not one bit. I want to spend my career still photographing things that I love. You're one of those things."

"When did you start being less of a fuckboy?" I chuckled and sniffled as I wiped my eyes gently so I wouldn't smear my eyeliner.

"When I foun out that I wasnt invincible and someone made me feel like I was nothing. You made me realize I was worthy. And then I fell in love." He stared off at the pictures and I couldn't believe how confidently he was saying those words to me. Months ago he had been afraid to even tell me that he loved me. Now he could say things that made my heart want to pop out of my chest like an old school cartoon.

"You're really something else, Johnny Suh, you know that?"

"So I've been told." He rubbed my back gently before stepping away from me a bit. "Do you mind if I mingle a bit more? I want to do it before I want to kill myself from all the socializing."

"Yeah," I laughed. "Go ahead. It'll give me a chance to walk around and see how lame these other photographers are."

"Eri, don't be like that. Some of them are my friends. I appreciate you liking my stuff though." He kissed the back of my hand before heading off towards the gallery entrance. I took a few pictures of Johnny's work and sent them to Quinn before I started walking around. The show went on much later than I expected and I stayed the whole time just to keep up my support but my feet were absolutely killing me. Beauty is pain, that's for sure. I found a spare chair to occupy and plopped down to give my feet a rest. There weren't many people left and Johnny was helping to clean up and collect his photos to put back into his portfolio. He met me at the chair and extended a hand to me. "Ready to go?"

"Mhm." I took his hand and stood up slowly. "My feet are killing me. Why were heels even invented?"

"You don't have to wear heels if you don't want to. I hate them anyway. I like you extra short for me."

"Yeah I know, jerk. At this rate you're gonna have to carry me to the car." I hobbled behind him as he started walking out of the gallery space with my hand in his.

"I will, just let me put my portfolio in the art space. It's just down the hall."

I nodded and clutched onto his arm, walking beside him as we talked about the show a bit. The art space was an older classroom with a large wooden structure with different slots for students to house their work. When we went in the room was pitch black and Johnny turned on the light briefly to set his portfolio case into his slot. When he came back to my side I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. "What's that for?" He chuckled.

"Because I'm a gooey, proud, happy mess for my man."

"And you say I'm a big baby." He set his hands on my hips and gave me another kiss which morphed into a us not separating for awhile. I held onto him tighter, pressing my chest against his as he moved me back towards a spare table that hadn't been occupied. "O-oh. Sorry." He whispered against my lips.

I shook my head and pulled him down to resume our heated kiss, begging for more. My hands were exploring every inch of his torso and gripping at his shirt as I whimpered against his lips. His fingers were clawing at the zipper of my dress, pulling it down and yanking the top part off my shoulders. He made quick work of my strapless bra, tossing it aside as his lips wrapped around my nipple, kneading as he sucked and groaned around the tender area. His other hand didn't devoid me of attention either. He had managed to trap my other nipple between his index and middle fingers, adding pressure as he groped and kneaded as well. It felt so so good even within the short amount of time. It was mostly because i hadn't seen this side of him in almost two months. My body instantly snapped to craving to be beneath him but my mind reeled it back instantly. What if it was just his small bursts that would start eager but fizzle out right after? I couldn't take that much teasing, as horrible as it sounded, but i knew he also shouldn't try and force himself to have sex just to make me happy 

"H-hey, Johnny. You don't have to…" I swallowed back a small groan and tried to steady my breath. "We really shouldn't, e-e-especially if you're not ready. Please, i just can't take-"

"Mhm, do you want me to stop?" He spoke. His puppy dog eyes had shifted into something more devious but i couldn't be sure.

I set my hands on his shoulders to try and keep him at bay. "It's ok. We don't have to. I know you've been trying to work up your sexual appetite more but i dont think rushing through it like this is the answer. So maybe we should-"

"I want you."

I sighed. "I want you too, love, but if we go any further, it could be dangerous and I don't want that on either of our conscience. Lets just-"

"Not on my conscience. I want you."

He was starting to get a little too stubborn for my liking. "Johnny, we can have sex when you're ready. I'm not rushing this and you can't-"

"Eri, you dont fucking understand!" He cupped my face suddenly before chuckling. "I talked to my doctor about it and one of the side effects of my meds was a lower labido, like you had said, so i told him we had to fucking fix that. I got on a booster to go along with it and... well...i really really want to fuck you."

Oh.

Ohhh…

"So you're...ok? I mean to like do stuff? Do you think you really are? If you want to stop mid way again then that's fine! I just want to-"

"Eri, i am going to fuck you now and when im done, we're gonna go home and im gonna cook you pancakes and let you rest for a bit before i ruin you entirely, got it?"

I instantly felt that sentence go straight to my clit in the most agonizing feeling. I had been waiting weeks to hear him say something like this and now that it was happening, I was already a mess and surprised that he wasn't scraping me off the floor yet. I pulled his hands away from my face and leaned in to bury myself in his neck. "Yes daddy."

"I made my princess wait long enough i think." He grabbed a hold of the back of my thighs and lifted me onto the table. He didn't waste any more time in pulling down my panties and spreading my legs apart. He inhaled sharply when he finally saw me, staring for just a moment. I was confused, even a bit self conscious, but that went away the moment he dedicated minutes on end to kissing every inch of my legs and moving up towards my thighs. It had been a little 0-100 but with the way we had been craving each other, neither of us wanted to stop even if we were out in the open. He bit at my inner thighs, making me wince but desire the feeling more and more. He wrapped his strong arms around them and kept me as close as possible to his face as he sucked deeper and harder on the sensitive skin. He was trying to leave behind imprints of his teeth and bruises that would make me ache for days after. I knew he loved my thighs but with his lips being so close to where i wanted him to be the most he had me wiggling my hips in earnest. He disappeared completely under my dress so i only saw the form of his head beneath the fabric. 

I could hear a soft grumble as his tongue parted my folds and swept up towards my clit. His fingers dug into my hips as mine scratched into the wood beneath me. His lips wrapped around my clit hungrily, deeply sucking until the blood rushed south and made me throb. He switched his tactics as soon as i arched slightly and let out a breathy moan, just to spite me, i was sure. He always liked to tease me, especially when he had practiced so much and found out what i liked most. The tip of his tongue was now creating lazy patterns between my inner lips and circling around my entrance, not daring to go any further just yet. My toes squeaked against the inner soles of my heels as they curled hard. I didn’t want to make any sounds and draw attention to the room though I was sure we were the only ones left in the building at this point. I breathed out his name in a soft beg as my need became more and more dire. “Please don’t tease me, Johnny. Please don’t…”

I felt his chuckle vibrate against my inner lips. “Sorry, I’m just so used to torturing you like this. Do you want me to make you cum like this first?”

“Y-yes! Make me cum however many times you want, pleasepleaseplease.”

“Damn...my princess really is needy.”

I wanted to kick him with the edge of my shoe for being a little shit but decided to behave. His tongue blessed me by plunging in finally, that warmth trailing through the beginnings of my walls and making more and more moans want to surface. He moved his hand from my hip to swipe his thumb over my clit. They were small strokes at a gentle speed to not take away from the magic of his tongue. He buried himself deeper, faster, hungrier to the point where he himself was making small growls against me. I pulled my dress up further on my waist to grab onto a fistfull of hair, careful not to pull him towards me. He had gotten used to me pulling his hair while he was down there but pulling him closer was a no go and stirred too many bad feelings for him. There were plenty of times where I had to remind myself to be cautious as it had been something I was so used to in the past. But a rough tug to jerk his head was enough for him to yank me to the edge of the table and and groan like a wolf in heat. He parted from me to grab a hold of my ankles and set my feet on the table leaving me to be splayed out for him. With such easy access his fingers were able to force their way in, two at first, and dig through my need. 

While his tongue made long licks from the top of my entrance to my clit his fingers pushed and pulled in an incessant beat. I rolled my hips with him, plunging his fingers further and his face to be buried against me. A third finger slipped in to stretch me and i gripped onto his wrist as he nudged at a spot deep within me. My nails were creating marks into his skin and I could feel the pulse of his veins beneath my fingertips. “Here?” He asked simply. I nodded furiously and bit into my bottom lip. It was getting harder to stay quiet even if my moans and squeaks weren’t loud to begin with. With his idle hand he spread apart my lips to flicker his tongue directly on my clit. I clamped down around his fingers as my first orgasm hit me in a sudden wave. He kept his fingers inside me but slowed his licks until he stopped completely. He pulled away from me, wiping his face with the back of his hand before pulling his fingers out. He then grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me so I sat up and tapped his cum covered fingers against my lips. I instantly opened my mouth and accepted them, sucking lewdly to get my taste off. 

I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt as I tried to get it open to feel his muscles underneath. He worked with my fingers to free them and tugged off his shirt, pulling his fingers from my mouth to get it off completely. I licked my lips as I grabbed at his belt next, tugging it open and going for the fly of his pants. He shook his head and snatched it from the belt loops before grabbing my hands. He set them behind my back and wrapped the leather around my wrists, pulling it tightly and locking it into the buckle. I didn’t even pout, only latched my legs around his thighs to pull him closer. He shoved down his pants and underwear, palming himself for a bit before plunging into me. Both of us stopped, panting softly and realizing how perfect we felt when we were connected. It had been months since we started our celibacy spell and now that it was over it seemed so surreal. 

“Holy-’

“Fuck.” I finished for him.

We looked at each other and kind of laughed before he cupped my face and kissed me hard. “You asshole, i love you so much.”

“M-me too. So fucking much…”

He buried his face in my neck then and pressed his hand onto my lower back. His hips pulled away and snapped harshly, filling me with a thunderous burst of pleasure. I needed that rawness and passion that he gave me every time we got lost in each other. He thrusted over and over, making the table shake beneath me. I rocked my hips fast to meet him, my mind making me blurt out whatever begs and pleads that popped into my train of thought. I wished I could touch him, that little bastard and his kinky ideas. I taught him too much. He kissed his way up my neck and nipped at my ear. I felt his warm breath against my lobe as he whispered, “Bite me.” He didn’t have to tell me twice. I dove towards his collarbone, latching onto the thin skin and sinking my teeth in. He hissed and snapped his hips harder while i sucked deeply and pulled a colorful hickey to the surface.

He pounded faster getting more relentless in feeling my walls wrapped around him. My legs were trembling and struggling to keep their hold around him. I swallowed hard and pressed my forehead to his. "J-johnny…" I had no idea what I wanted to say but I felt the urge to beg for him.

He licked my lips and added a small nibble to the bottom one. "I want to bend you over this fucking table."

"Then do it. Make me yours."

"You're already mine." He yanked my hips off the table top and forced my torso down onto it, making my dress pool around my ankles. "You're usually on all fours on your bed. I haven't fucked you over a table or counter in a minute." He grabbed onto the loose end of the belt and tugged my arms back roughly. His other hand forced my hips back as he reentered me, ramming my hip bone into the edge of the table. I winced and gasped deeply as my legs almost gave out then and there. He used the hold on my arms as leverage to get the best angle and plow straight towards my stomach. His foot kicked my feet apart more and I could hear his satisfied chuckle behind me.

Johnny pressed himself close to my back and nudged his lips against me, signaling me to face him. His tongue pried open my lips, giving me no time to adjust to the thick invasion. We exchanged moans and suckled at each other until I felt my arms start to tingle. Pain was shooting up my forearms and I could hardly feel my fingers. "J-Joh…" He cut me off by filling my mouth again. I shook my head and tried to pull away. "Too tight!"

"What? You mean you're too tight?"

"Belt. The belt. It hurts. Take it off." I whimpered.

"Oh! Fuck, shit, okay! Hold on." He pulled away from me and untied the belt from my wrists, finally setting me free. I shook out the numb feeling and held onto my wrists that were bright red and starting to fade to purple. "Are you ok? I'm so sorry." He rubbed his hands over my arms, helping to get the feeling back as well.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It just hurts a bit. That's all.”

“I’m so sorry...” He whispered.

I took his arms and wrapped them around my waist, leaning back into his shoulder a bit. “I’m okay. Promise. Please keep going.”

“I don’t want to hurt you again. Should I...keep you bent over?”

I giggled. He could always turn into a soft dom at the drop of a hat. “Yes, keep me bent over. I want it like that.”

He nodded and kissed my neck gently. He morphed our hands together and planted them on the table, pressing me back into a bent position. My fingers clenched around his when i felt him thrust and my eyes fluttered shut. Each grind, thrust, and roll of hi hips dug deeper into me, resurfacing my quivering thighs and months of need. Johnny left blazoned trails of stinging bites down my spine as his blunt nails dug into the palm of my hand. My favorite little growls rang in my ear and i slammed myself back against him, wanting to hear more. our bodies were harshly slapping together now, echoing in the big room, repeating the sounds of skin on skin, rough contact with wood, and the table squeaking back little by little. The sounds were lost on us entirely. Even our pants and moans seemed to disappear as we vanished into a void of each other. Nothing was more important to me then his satisfaction and i knew he felt the same. We were chasing each other incessantly, begging for release until i broke first, practically crumbling beneath his heavy body. The table prevented me from falling onto my weakened legs and of course i couldn’t move being trapped between it and Johnny. I heard my orgasm each time he pounded into me, sloppier than the last and trembling with anticipation. I wiggled myself back against him and gave him a warning so he could pull out.

He finally let me go and braced himself on the table, dribbles of sweat from from his temple down to his chin. I worked myself down to my knees in front of him, giving him doe eyes as i popped my tongue out for him. He took the back of my head in his hand and urged me forward until his cock pushed past my lips and suffocated my mouth in a thick tightness. I squeezed my eyes shut and let him control his thrusting, keeping a hold on his thighs in case it got to be too much. He was holding back his want to obliterate my throat for the sake of me not killing him after but i let him go a little faster, gaining a tighter grip against my skull. Johnny tossed his head back and i watched as his chest heaved and fingers wrap tighter around the edge of the table. He bit down on his lip so hard I was sure he made it bleed as splatters of his cum coated my tongue and slid down my throat. It was never the most pleasant feeling for me, the rare times I did this for him, but i behaved and swallowed it all, even waiting until the last drop. He pulled out slowly and looked down at me and i hoped i didn’t have a look of suffering on my face.

“Y-You okay?” He stuttered.

I nodded and swallowed down the rest of it before gasping for air a bit. Johnny hooked his arms under mine and lifted me up. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest, begging for his comfort. He held me tight and rubbed my back gently as we both came down from the intensity. “Can i get pancakes now?” I murmured.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “Of course, princess. Let’s just...clean up and get dressed.” I pulled away reluctantly and he cocked his head to the side before swiping his thumb across my chin. “Ah...missed some.” I took his thumb in my mouth and sucked off his taste, lapping just a bit at the tip of his finger. He landed a hard smack against my ass. “You better stop that, you little shit. I don’t need to walk around campus with another boner!”

I giggled and turned away from him to pick up my discarded under wear and dress. As i bent over I felt his fingers between my thighs gathering up my own cum and making me shoot up instantly. “HEY!”

He smirked and popped his finger out his mouth. “Just a little payback.”

I hit his shoulder with my bra and we both laughed before getting completely dressed. He held me around my waist as we walked over to my car. He had carpooled with a few other students that were in the show to help each other set up so I was able to take him home and have him all to myself. “I’ll text Quinn to see if they’re spending the night with Jae so maybe i can watch you cook naked.” I joked.

“Honestly, I make a mess in the kitchen and i have to concentrate on not burning stuff. Burnt dick will not be on the menu tonight.”

“Your butt would still look cute. Maybe if you just wear the apron and that’s it. Like in those cheesy pornos. Easy access.”

“Excuse me, access for what?!”

I licked my lips and smirked. “Oh...nothing in particular.”

“Eri, you’re not putting anything in my ass.” He stated firmly.

“Yet.”

--

Though our sex life was back on track and Johnny was much more satisfied with his medication, we were still having trouble seeing each other. His graduation was tomorrow and just a few days ago i had to snap him out of a night terror. His anxiety was high and even though he had applied for those internships he still was hit with the “what exactly do I do with my life after college?” Art careers were harder to find a job to jump into and I felt his pain on so many levels. I tried to assure him that he was good enough to get those internships and he wouldn’t have to worry so much. He had calmed down since then and I was grateful but we had to zoom around to make sure everything was perfect for his big day. However, he sprung something on me that I hadn’t thought would happen so soon.

“So i’m going to pick up my mom from the airport and then tomorrow we’ll do the graduation thing. After that we’ll all go to dinner.” Johnny said as he put on his leather jacket.

“Wait...you mean i-i’m gonna meet your mom?” I sucked in a harsh breath and almost choked. We had only been fully dating for three months (not including fucking around since august) and now I was going to meet his mom, the most important person in his life? I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready at all. “Johnny, she’s going to hate me. Oh my god why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Relax! She’s not going to hate you! You’ll be fine. I need both my ladies there for me. I’m excited for y’all to meet.”

“What if I fuck up? What if she hates the way I look? Does she know I’m not Korean? Does she know i’m not white?! Does she know that I’m younger than you? Does she know anything about me?!”

“First of all my mom wont care about any of those things. I know her.” He grabbed onto my shoulders and gave me a little shake. "Eri! Trust me. It's going to be ok. I'll be there the whole time." He kissed my forehead in reassurance. "I'll be back, ok? I just have to pick her up, maybe get some food and drop her off at the hotel. I can sneak over a little later and I can maybe take your mind off things?" He said coyly.

I rolled my eyes and hit his shoulder. "Get out and go see your mom, idiot." I gave him a peck on the lips then let him leave, waiting until the door closed to run to Quinn's room. "I have a problem and I'm gonna die."

"What? What's going on?" They set down their phone and watched as I flopped face down onto their bed. 

"Johnny's mom is coming for his graduation and I have to meet her!!"

"Holy fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Shit. Oof. Ok, um...that's like... astronomically huge."

"I KNOW AND IM NOT READY!!" I cried into their pillow. "I have no idea why I didn’t think she would show up. Of course she would show up! He’s her only son! He says everything is going to be ok but like...I don't really know how she is. What if she's super traditional? I know she's lived in America for decades but she could still hate that Johnny isn't with some lightskinned, non tattooed, Korean business lady that went to Harvard or something. She's going to hate me and I don't want her too because she's important to Johnny. I want her to like me."

"Eri, you're beautiful the way you are. You shouldn't be ashamed of that. If Johnny wanted to date some light skinned Korean business Harvard lady then he would have. But he chose you because you're what he wants. Don't beat yourself up like that. He will defend you if she's really prejudice against that."

"He probably would but still…" Quinn sat down beside me and I shifted so I could lay my head on their lap. "I don't know how to be like proper or good enough to make parents like me."

"Just act like me because I'm a perfect angel."

"Quinn."

"Ok, ok. Just...try not to curse. Try to talk about your goals or accomplishments you've done. Maybe gas up Johnny a little? Mom's always love hearing about when their babies are like amazing or whatever. Maybe don't be on your phone so much? And when Johnny's there he can probably guide the conversation more so you’re not completely making a fool of yourself."

"That sounds good…" I said softly. It didn't fully ease my anxiety but it did give me some good ideas to go off of. "Should I wear a dress and some heels or something?"

"Eri you're gonna break your ankles if you wear heels."

"I did good when i went to his gallery show! Mostly. My feet were killing me after but I survived. I have some wedges and I think I have a normal black dress somewhere. Oh god, how should I do my hair. Maybe I'll straighten it. Should I do a bun again? What hairstyle says "Hello Ms. Suh. I'm not a terrible person"?".

"Ok, how's this? You pick out all the dresses you have that aren't slutty and then we can look up some hair ideas later. Then I can tell you what looks best. Also, Jae and I will at least be there for the ceremony so it won’t be completely terrible. We can at least help you not hyperventilate.”

“Yeah, i guess so. I just didn’t really think this would happen so soon in our official relationship. I met my ex girlfriends parents and they were kind of racist and unwelcoming so what if Johnny’s mom is the same?”

Quinn sighed. “If she is like that maybe Johnny will talk her down or something. I know he would want you two to get along but I don’t think it will be bad. Don’t worry too much or you’ll just make your head explode. Now go try and find your dresses and we can see what we’re working with.”

“Okay,” I grumbled and got up from the bed. “But what if she doesn’t like black? I don’t know if I have colored dresses. His suit is dark grey, black wouldn’t be bad, right?”

“ERI! Shut up and go get your dresses!!”

I whined and went to my room flipping through my closet for the few dresses I had. That one had a low neckline, that one was super short, that one had cutouts, that one had bat wings, the other had an open back. Fuck. The dress I had worn to the gallery was already dirty and way too casual and the rest I had were skater dresses. I needed something more formal. “Quinn!!!” I called out.

They stomped over to my room with their hands on their hips. “What now?”

“It’s official. I have to go shopping.”

“Shit, it’s serious now.”

I wanted to throw myself on the floor. I hated trying on clothes. I got all sweaty and then sad when shit wouldn’t fit over my thighs or my ass and formal dresses were the worst to shop for. I got lucky with the dress I wore at the quince. My mom got that for me and it suited me well but now that I was on my own I was doomed. “What am I going to do? If i don’t find something tonight then i’m literally not going to make a good impression and she’s gonna think i’m a slut. I mean i am but i don’t want her to think that.”

“Put your shoes on. I think i have an idea of what might work for you. Come on."

Shopping was serious business but I managed to find a black dress with capped sleeves that was simple enough for me to look innocent. It took forever to find anything that wasn't a sweetheart neckline, strapless, or backless. I was tired and barely got any sleep that night as nerves got the best of me. Only a few hours separated me from my greatest fear and I had no idea how to calm myself.

When the morning came, I drove myself, Quinn and Jae to the auditorium. Johnny was already waiting there with his mom and I met him outside the front doors, ready to vomit. I tried to focus on how cute he looked in his cap and gown that was way too short for him. She was standing beside him, also shorter than I expected for someone who birthed a giant. She was fussing over Johnny and giving him tons of kisses and licking her thumb to wipe away whatever smudges she thought was on his face. When he saw me he took me in his arms and held me close before introducing me to his mother.

"Mom, this is Eri, my girlfriend. Eri, this is my mom."

I smiled and waved at her, softly saying it was nice to meet her. I swore her demeanor changed as she looked me up and down, making my nausea even worse. Her attention shifted as Johnny introduced Jae and Quinn, then we were off to sit at the boring like four hour long ceremony. I wanted to try and be good and attentive but I was slowly falling asleep, especially since Johnny would be called to walk across the stage more so towards the end. Every once in awhile my eyes would fall closed and Quinn would jab my side so I could stay awake. I was suffering to say the least. Johnny was texting me a bit as we both sat in boredom and I made sure his texts were PG just in case his mom looked over. Finally when he walked across the stage she was all smiles and claps, taking pictures and videos even though it lasted all but thirty seconds. It kind of made me chuckle. She was just as extra as my mom was when I graduated high school.

When the ceremony finished, Johnny spoke with a few of his friends who had also graduated, making the four of us awkwardly wait to take pictures together. I was reminded how much I fucking hated graduations. I needed a vodka and redbull asap. The pictures were taken, a steady rotation of Johnny, Quinn and I, Johnny and Jae, me and Johnny, Johnny and his mom, until the point that I was going crazy. I was also mega hungry and would've preferred to be at the restaurant right now. I tried my best to put on a proper face and not show my irritation but damn if it wasn't hard. 

"Instead of dinner, were just going to do lunch. Is that ok?" Johnny's question snapped me out of my funk. The prospect of food was enough to get me excited until I realized we would be spending quality time with his mother. I looked back at Quinn as I was terrified but they just gave me the thumbs up and mouthed that I could do it. No I couldn't. I was going stir crazy as Johnny lead me and his mom to his car as Quinn used mine to head back to the apartment. I clutched at his hand tightly as he was driving, making our palms sweat. He looked over at me, giving me a look that said "calm the fuck down." Easy for him to say.

We got to the restaurant and took forever to get a table as dozens of other graduates had also picked this spot to eat. But as we were waiting for our food, he lead the conversation while I stared at my lap, occasionally sipping my soda.

"So Eri," the question made my head snap up and a lump appear in my throat. "What do you study?" She asked.

"I do music journalism. I want to write columns for magazines and interview bands and things like that. It'll give me the opportunity to travel too."

"Ahh, you're just like Johnny then. Always wanting to go somewhere and explore."

I finally smiled for the first time today. "Yeah, I think we have similar goals and stuff. Ideally, we would like to work for the same magazine. Hopefully we can make that come true but it will most likely be hard."

"So you have goals together then. That's at least better than the brats he dated in high school."

"Mom!" Johnny winced. "You can't count that! I had no idea what I wanted to do back then!"

"Oh I know exactly what you wanted to do," she scolded. "Sneak out the house and go hang out with those stupid skateboard friends of yours! And that hair! You would never let me cut it! With your heavy metal bands and what not!" She scoffed and said something else in Korean that made Johnny shove his hands into his face.

I giggled and took another sip of soda. "I still haven't seen those long hair pictures. Johnny won't show them to me!"

"Oh." She gave Johnny a shady look as she pulled out her phone. "Don't worry. I have them on Facebook."

He sighed and leaned into me. "She's excited because she's finally good at Facebook. Also, I hate you completely."

I took the back of his hand and kissed it. "I think it's cute! Hush!" Ms. Suh grabbed my attention and shoved her phone into my hand as she had pulled up the picture. I practically slammed it face down onto the table and pursed my lips trying so hard not to say that he looked fucking ridiculous. "Please don't ever ever grow your hair out that long again."

"Ughhh, shut up. I don't think it looked that bad."

"I always wanted to chase him around with scissors! Especially when he had that ponytail. I wanted to chop it right off." She said.

"I don't blame you. I like his hair now. I think it looks really cute." I smiled a bit as I tucked his hair behind his ear.

"He could use a haircut still. But he's always handsome."

"That's for sure." I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze.

"Alright, well you two can be gushy gushy. I'm going to use the bathroom." He rolled his eyes and scooted back from the chair, retreating to the bathrooms at the back of the restaurant. I watched him leave before turning back to face Ms. Suh.

"You're not the type of girl he usually goes for. Hes never liked the hair and the tattoos and all that." She stated flatly.

"Well...there's a first time for everything. He seems to like the way I look a lot." I tried to bite my tongue as much as I could so I wouldn't fuck up royally.

"Hmm…" She sipped her water and glared at me. "And what exactly do you want with my son?"

"A relationship, clearly." I sighed internally and clenched my fist around the fabric across my lap. "What I mean is I love Johnny a lot. More than I ever loved someone before and I was really scared to be in a relationship with him because I've been hurt before. But he's been there for me through a lot of rough things that has happened this school year and I've done the same for him. Now I can't imagine myself being without him really. I care about him a lot and I think I've tried to protect him from things that couldn't be helped but I never wanted him to be scared when he's with me. I know I don't look conventional, and I don't even act conventional. I'm not quiet, I don't hold my tongue, I'm not soft and I stand up for what I believe in. I will never be a lightskinned Korean business woman who went to Harvard or whatever you expected him to be with. I'm not sorry to be myself and Johnny loves me just the way I am."

"I can see that." She interrupted. "Eri, I don't care how you look. I know you've been nervous all day. It's written all over your face. But I can tell by the way he smiles that he loves you. Also, when he came to visit me before he told me everything about you and the feelings he's had. I just want you to make him happy. That's all I ask."

I felt tears prickling at my waterline and I tried to laugh it off though I was slowly unraveling into a mess. I dabbed at my tears ducts with the knuckle of my index finger and exhaled deeply. "I thought you would hate me and I didn't want that because I know how important you are to Johnny."

"No, I'm not a hateful person. You seem respectful and I know you were tense because you wanted to impress me. There's nothing to impress. I wish we could have spent more time getting to know each other but I was only here for the ceremony. Maybe you could come visit Chicago with him soon?"

I sat up straight and beamed happily. "I'd really love that. Like a lot."

Johnny returned then, looking at the two of us. "Well I'm glad you two didn't kill each other."

"Johnny, hush! Eri and I were having a nice conversation." Ms. Suh whacked her son's hand.

"Wait really?" He looked over at me and questioned the tears that were still watering my eyes. "What did you say?"

"That I just want Eri to continue to make you happy is all. And maybe she can come to Chicago with you next time."

Johnny smiled from ear to ear. "I would totally love that. I told you you had nothing to worry about, babe!"

"Yeah well...I couldn't help it. This means a lot to you, to the both of you. And it means a lot to me too." I entwined our fingers again and relaxed at last.

"I just have one question." Johnny and I both looked at his mom. "When am I getting grandkids?"

--

I had stood up waiting for Johnny to come back to my place after dropping his mom off at the airport for her return flight. I took off my dress and got a hot shower in before pulling on some basketball shorts and a hoodie he had left a while ago. I had cleared out a dresser drawer for him to put some clothes on the nights he stood over and had to get to work or class the next day. It was all becoming very domestic. I was curled up in my bed when I heard the door open. I had left it unlocked for him and he quickly came into my room, flopping down beside me.

"How was your mom?" I asked.

"Oh a crying mess as usual. But I told her I'll try and go back home once I find out stuff about those internships I applied for."

"Speaking of which, have you heard back from any yet?"

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his email app. "I have to check. I haven't been able to really look at my phone since the ceremony." 

I stretched out my limbs, letting out a big yawn. "Anything?"

He sat up quickly and grabbed my hand tightly. "Eri."

"What?! What?! What's wrong?!"

"I got in! I fucking got in!"

"What?! You got an internship?! Is it the one you wanted?!"

"Yes! Fuck! Holy fuck!!" He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me tight. "I'm so damn happy, you don't even know."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. This is gonna be awesome for you." I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him over and over between smiles. "When do you start?"

"I've got a couple weeks. I have to sell my car then find a place to live and then get a new car down there in the meantime." He said as if his explanation was perfectly normal.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean sell your car and find a place? Isn't your internship here?"

"What? No!” He laughed. “Babe, I'm moving to California."

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Baby You Were My Picket Fence [Chapter 6: Have You Ever Seen The Rain]

You are a first grade teacher in sunny Los Angeles, California. Ben Hardy is the father of your most challenging student. Things quickly get complicated in this unconventional love story.  

Song inspiration: Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy.

Chapter warnings: Language, sexual content (not smutty).

Link to chapter list (and all my writing) HERE

Taglist: @blushingwueen @queen-turtle-boiii @everybodyplaythegame @onceuponadetectivedemigod @luvborhap @sincereleygmg @stormtrprinstilettos @loveandbeloved29 @ohtheseboysilove @jennyggggrrr @vanitysfairr @bramblesforbreakfast @radiob-l-a-hblah @xox-talia-xox @killer-queen-xo @caborhapch @kimmietea @asquiresofftime @hardzzellos @sleepretreat @ramibaby @jonesyaddiction @ixchel-9275 @omgitsearly @lovepizza-cake11 @deacy-dearest @shishterfackisback @mrbenhardys @deaky-with-a-c If I forgot anyone, please yell at me :)

Something’s wrong.

You know that even before you open your eyes; the house is far too quiet, too still. Dazedly, blinking in the sharp early morning light, you unravel from the tangle of blankets and couch cushions, pushing yourself up with your palms. Your thoughts are misted and clunky, like stumbling through a dark room.

Why am I on the couch?

Oh right, because your bed is littered with the kids’ science projects, because you and Ben had been in too much of a hurry to carefully relocate them, and so the couch was the next best thing; and you had both laughed about that—red-faced and gasping in each other’s arms, Ben pinning your wrists above your head against the hallway wall, his teeth grazing your throat—about how one can’t simply tell a first grader: So sorry Winston, your meticulously-done collage on marine mammals suffered a terrible accident but it was all for a good cause, Miss Teacher got LAID!

But there’s no uninhibited laughter echoing through your hallway now. You peer blearily around the living room: papers and plants and books stacked on every surface, seashells and pebbles scattered on windowsills and shelfs. There’s no sign of Ben. You drag your iPhone off the coffee table. It’s 6:57 a.m., three minutes before your alarm is due to ring. With a few inartful swipes of your thumb, you’ve disarmed it. And there’s something else: no calls, no texts, resounding radio silence. 

Your bare feet hit the rug, visions from the night before flaring through your mind like flashbang grenades: Ben pushing your thighs apart with smooth seeking palms, your fingernails biting into his back and shoulder blades, your taste dripping from his tongue; flesh and heat and passion and inexplicable ease, like sinking into a dream; tumbling into sleep with your face buried in his chest. You remember what he asked you—“Don’t you want to look at me?”—once all his clothes were wrenched away, his voice heavy with resignation, as if every encounter of his life would be tinged with the menace of stardom, of crash diets and five-hour workouts, of worth being measured in landed roles and muscle definition. And he smiled when you answered, your fingertips resting against his cheeks, your eyes not tearing from his: “I am.”

You soar through the living room and to the kitchen window. Ben’s black Lexus—which he’d left in your driveway before you both caught an Uber to the club—is gone. He’s gone.

“Oh no,” you breathe, without knowing exactly what you’re feeling; it’s some breed of deep, instinctual trepidation. Is this bad? Is this normal? He’s a busy guy, after all; movie stars live whirlwind existences. You know that Ben’s mom was watching Eli; maybe Ben hurried home to take him to school. You stare at the phone still in your hands. Should you text him? No; Ben never texts you, only calls. Should you call him? Is that desperate, is that weird? Goddammit daddy demon, I didn’t realize I’d need a fucking instruction manual for the morning after.

And then you turn and see the refrigerator. The magnets spell this: I’m sorry.

Cold confusion and dread roll down your spine. Sorry? Sorry for what? Sorry for leaving without saying goodbye? Sorry for the earth-shatteringly brilliant sex that undoubtedly ruined every other potential romantic interest on earth for me? Sorry for the multiple orgasms? Sorry for WHAT?

“This is fucking textbook demon behavior,” you say to your empty house. The plants and painted walls and vinyl records have no wise words to offer whatsoever.

What did I do wrong?

It’s 7 a.m., and rays of sunlight are pouring through the kitchen window. Birds are chirping carelessly in the trees outside. If you don’t start getting ready now, you’ll be late for school. And the kids are expecting thoughtfully-coordinated accessories.

You piece yourself together, your eyes infuriatingly transfixed by your persistently soundless, unilluminated phone.

~~~~~~~~~~

The class is clamoring in “eww!”s and “cool!”s, elbow-deep in loose, sifting soil. You’re on your hands and knees next to them in the Dolphin Cove Elementary School garden, surrounded by herbs and sprouting fall vegetables, pumpkins and beets and carrots and cabbages.

“There are worms,” Maisy moans, her lips quivering.

“Yes,” you concede, “but worms are friends to the garden! Worms help our vegetables grow.”

“Really?” Winston asks, his forehead crinkled with skepticism. Rachel Lynn, a prissy little thing who’s already in training to be a fourth-generation trophy wife, frowns and wipes her hands on her pink skirt.  

“Worms are the best!” you gush enthusiastically. “Worms dig tunnels that help air and water enter the soil, and they eat up all the dead stuff, and they even make natural fertilizer—”

“With their poop!” Brayden shouts, and all the students burst out laughing.

You smile. “That’s right, Brayden.” Then you scan the group until you’ve found Eli. He’s painstakingly collecting worms; as you watch, he plops a seventh into his open palm. Then he begins creeping towards Rachel Lynn, whose back is to him. You stand and prop your hands on your hips. “Eli, dearest?”

He freezes, his fingers pinching a wriggling worm. “Yes, Miss Teacher?” He almost always refuses to use your name.

“What are you planning to do with those?”

“Uhhh...” His eyes flick to Rachel Lynn, to the worms, to you, back to Rachel Lynn.

“Gross!” she screeches.

If he starts flinging worms at future Miss America, her mother will flay me alive.

“Eli,” you say calmly. “Worms are happiest when they’re in the dirt. And they can’t help the garden grow if they’re in our hands. Maybe you could do the worms a favor and find a nice soft patch of soil for them to live in?”

For a long time, Eli just glares at you; you’re enmeshed in the world’s fiercest standoff with a six-year-old. After what feels like an eternity, he tilts his hand and the worms somersault to the earth. The muscles that have tensed all across your body release like cut strings.

“Thank you, Eli. Now, who wants to try a carrot?!”

“Me me me!” the kids bellow, leaping up and down.

You dig a few ripe carrots out of the ground, wash them off with water from the purple-painted hand pump, and start distributing pieces to the students.

“Are these organic?” Frances sniffs disdainfully. “My mom says I can only eat organic vegetables.”

“Yes, Frances. They’re organic.”

“Can I have some hand sanitizer?” Rachel Lynn asks.

You sigh. “There’s some in my teacher bag, dear. Help yourself.”

“What’s this?” Kayden inquires, tugging a leaf of basil off the stem. He mashes it against his knuckles as Brayden and Brendyn look on. “It smells like pizza!”

“Awesome job, Kayden! That’s basil. It’s an herb that’s used in tomato sauce, so it might remind you of pizza or pasta dishes, like spaghetti.”

“My mom makes spaghetti sometimes,” Eli says softly, and your mind goes utterly blank, like a chalkboard wiped clean, like a starless sky.

You turn to him, trying not to betray shock. So she’s not ENTIRELY out of the picture. What does that mean? You’ve tried Googling Ben, of course; but his low-profile initiative appears to be almost ludicrously successful. There are a few red carpet photos of him posing with assorted models, but no information about ex-wives or girlfriends. There’s barely even any digital footprint for Eli. Wikipedia knows that Ben has a young son, but not his name or birthdate. Who is she, Eli? What did she do to you both? You sputter haltingly: “And...do you...like when your mom makes spaghetti...?”

Eli nods, but he seems troubled. You swiftly pivot topics.

“How about pizza, Eli? Do you like pizza?”

“Yeah,” he answers, grinning now. “Especially pepperoni.”

“Good taste, kiddo. Me too.” And he peers up at you through curly russet hair with something like gratefulness. Your dad and I are going to have a lot to talk about if he ever stops ghosting me, demon kid.

After science it’s time for math, and then lunch, and then recess. You check your phone once you’ve walked the kids to gym class, and there’s a blessedly welcome notification on your screen. “Oh thank god,” you murmur, and then listen to the new voicemail.

“Hi, it’s me. Ben. Daddy demon.” His voice is as it always is: deep, reverberating, warm like an open flame. “Sorry for rushing off this morning, I had a...a work thing. But I miss you already. Hope you’re having a good day and my kid isn’t making you want to jump off a cliff. Eli mentioned being excited about gardening. Watch out for his worm obsession. Anyway, give me a call when you get home. Okay, talk to you soon. I love you. Bye.” And then: “Oh fuck. I didn’t mean to say that. I mean, I meant it, but I didn’t mean to say it over the phone the first time, and I...fuck. Bloody hell. Just call me. Okay, bye. Love you. Bye.”

Your lips curl up at the edges, the relief flooding through you like frothing waves, like birds taking flight. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to worry about him being a good guy. “I love you too, Ben Hardy,” you whisper.

There are clicks of high heels out in the hall, and then Sasha appears in your classroom doorway. The third graders are with the librarian. “Hey, babygirl.” Sasha is tall and willowy, with immaculate sienna skin and a massive cloud of inky ringlets. She’s wearing a loud orange dress with golden geometric patterns.

“Hi, Sasha! Come on over.”

She tiptoes into the room, weaving between desks as you dish out fresh alfalfa pellets for Creampuff. “So...have you heard from daddy demon yet? Or do I need to figure out if Vice Principal Lucetti has some Italian mafia connections we can exploit?”

You chuckle, shaking your head. Your earrings jangle against your neck. “No need for daddy demon to sleep with the fishes. He left a voicemail.”

“How 1990s.”

“We like old-fashioned things.”

Sasha slips into a student desk and grins salaciously, her black eyes glittering. “How was it?”

You collapse into your plushy rolling chair and spin around once, then set your elbows on the desk and rest your chin on the back of your hands. You sigh dreamily as a response.

Sasha gasps, covering her mouth with long elegant fingers, her eyebrows raised. “That good, huh?”

“He’s amazing, Sasha.”

“Well I want details. Not now, of course, not here. But soon. Maybe this weekend? Do you have plans?”

You think of Joe’s promise to teach you how to play baseball, of your phone call with Ben in the not-too-distant future. “Nothing set in stone yet, but I suspect my schedule will fill up. I’ll reserve Sunday brunch for you.”

“You are a treasure.” Sasha stands and smooths her dress. “How was the garden lesson?”

“It went swimmingly until Eli hurled a cabbage at Brayden’s head. His hand-eye coordination is terrible, fortunately.”

“Demon kid strikes again!”

“I think we’re making progress.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah.” You smile faintly. “Slow and steady, but we’ll get there.”

“I believe in you, lady. Hang tough.” Sasha strolls to the doorway, then pauses and turns back around. She points to your earrings. “Those are cute. What are they?”

“Oh.” You touch them. “Thank you! Megalodons.”

She laughs. “You’re a trip, Y/N. See you soon.”

“Bye, lovely.”

You spin in your chair, tapping a pencil absentmindedly against your lips, wondering if it’s possible to sieve everything you’ve felt in the past three weeks into words: shock, apprehension, bliss, recognition, homecoming. And who knows how much more you’ll have to tell by Sunday.

Reading and writing pass uneventfully, and the kids perform adequately on their weekly spelling tests; not a single one bungles the word throw. When the time comes you herd the students out to the pickup area under a clear, sweltering sky. The sun is so bright it hurts to glance towards the West. You watch as Eli disappears into an SUV driven by a neatly-dressed, middle-aged blond woman who must be Ben’s mother. You wave as Eli peeks through the tinted windows, and after a moment of hesitation he lifts a hand in reply.

Fifteen minutes later you’re barreling down the highway with your windows down, wind whipping your hair, singing along to AC/DC’s Back in Black album. When you’re a few blocks from home, you swing by Trader Joe’s to peruse the sushi selection, then unwittingly end up with a cart full of cookies and gourmet ice cream. “Freaking...delicious...reasonably-priced...organic dessert items,” you mutter as you stroll through the aisles. Frances’ crunchy granola mom would be proud.

As you finally arrive in the fresh produce section, your eyes catch on a familiar silhouette like fabric snagged on a nail. It’s Ben. He’s standing in front of a vegetable display, turning a green pepper over in his sturdy fingers, examining it like a foreign language. And he looks so perfectly ordinary, so domestic; you can imagine dicing peppers and onions with him in your tiny unremarkable kitchen, sizzling chicken or shrimp in a skillet, warming corn tortillas on the stovetop. You can imagine living every gloriously commonplace sliver of life with him.

“Hi, Mr. Hardy,” you tease as you approach.

He whirls and spots you, and for the second time today you know something is wrong; because Ben doesn’t smile, he doesn’t look happy to see you, he looks stunned and horrified and haunted. The pepper drops out of his grasp and rolls across the floor until it comes to rest under an elderly lady’s shopping cart. His jaw is hanging open like an unhinged door.

“What...?” The words catch in your throat, burn there, disappear completely.

A woman appears at Ben’s side carrying a small plastic tub in each hand. “Hey, remind me, is Eli obsessed with the edamame hummus or the roasted red pepper...?”

She’s Eli’s mother, she has to be, she looks just like him: flawless olive skin, voluminous dark curly hair, eyes like the Pacific Ocean. She’s Italian or Greek or Portuguese, a jewel mined from the salted cliffs of the Mediterranean, an idol ripped out of the pages of myths, Artemis or Aphrodite or Venus or Diana. On her left hand is a ring with a dazzling stone only slightly smaller than the Hope Diamond.

She spies you and recoils, blinking. “Hello...?”

“I’m so sorry,” you stammer. “Hi, hello, I’m Miss Y/L/N, Eli’s first grade teacher, and you...” You point to the woman, to her expensive red dress, to her faultless body. “You must be his mother.”

She’s wearing a ring.

Ben isn’t looking at you, at either of you; his eyes are cast upwards, towards a mural of the ocean shoreline painted on the store wall. He’s biting his lower lip and shaking his head so subtly it’s almost imperceivable. The expression on his face is disbelief, and mourning, and unfathomable rage.

Why is she wearing a ring.

“Yes, that’s me, I’m his mom!” the goddess chimes, beaming, her sapphire eyes flashing like blades. And suddenly, you know exactly what she is going to say. The sound blaring through your skull is like fingernails raking a chalkboard, like a scratched record, like a scream. “And Ben’s fiancée.” 

[lordsister]

In Dreams (Theodorus Van Gogh x Reader)

A/N: Que gross sobbing noises. I really cried while writing this one, like damn! Thank you @kiarigirl for giving me this prompt! It was lots of fun to write. And thank you to @thetwinkims for beta reading! 

I do not own Ikemen Vampire or any of its characters.

My ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/lordsister (please consider donating if you enjoy my works!)

Prompt: "I miss her so damn much, and it's killing me that she's gone!"

"Theo!"

His eyes shoot open at the sound of his name, at the sound of her voice, and his vision is filled with the sight of the woman he loves standing a few feet in front of him, a smile on her face as she looks at him over her shoulder. Gentle, golden sunshine gleams in her hair and the world around her is vibrant and beautiful, a painting meant for him alone. His heartbeat pounds in his ears and he has to swallow to find his voice. "(Y/n)..." he manages to choke, unable to move. His whole body feels numb, his feet stuck to the ground. 

She giggles, her happiness more lovely than any tinkling bell, and reaches out to him, offering her hand. Theodorus' feet come unglued from the ground and he rushes forward, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his arms. One arm wraps tight around her waist while the other hand cradles her head against his chest, holding her tight against him. She smells exactly as he remembers, of flowers and warm syrup, and it brings tears to his eyes. He won't let her go this time. He can't let her go this time.

He's dreamed this dream so many times, one would think he'd know better by now.

The concern in her eyes is unbearable as she looks up at him. "Theo? What's wrong?"

"Please, don't go, knabbeltje. Don't leave me again." The desperation in his voice reflects his heartbreak as the tears overflow, spilling down his cheeks. 

Her hand cups his cheek, wiping away his tears as he turns to kiss her palm. "What are you talking about? Why would I leave you?" The words stab at his heart because he knows exactly why.

"(Y/n), I-!" Before he's able to tell her what he always should have told her, she disappears from his arms, leaving him holding empty air. He doesn't understand how she managed to slip from his tight hold, and a familiar panic overwhelms him when massive double doors rise out of the ground in front of him. In vain, he moves to grab you before you can walk through those doors, but his feet are stuck again and all he can do is shout your name as the dark hallway beyond swallows you whole, your sad, tearful smile the last thing he sees. The doors shut with sickening finality, shattering the golden scenery around him and plunging him into darkness.

Theodorus wakes up panting and whimpering, little cries of her name and "no" escaping his mouth. His hands claw at the bedsheets, searching for someone who isn't there anymore. No matter how many times he dreams of her, he'll never get used to waking up without her. The pain is just as fresh as the day she left and went back to her own time, unwittingly taking his heart with her. He's shed so many tears since then, shouted and sobbed his anger into the dark, still nights, and yet the stabbing ache in his chest remains. 

In dreams is the only way Theodorus gets to see her now, gets to hold her and kiss her and love her as he always should have.

He spends his days sitting by his bedroom window or wandering aimlessly in the city, thinking of what he could've done differently and wishing you were still beside him. Barely speaking to anyone now, his mood is worse than ever, lashing out at the other residents for the smallest, most insignificant things. Most evenings, such as this one, he doesn't even come down for dinner, just sits in his room and watches the sunset, remembering how much you loved it and how he called you silly for it.

A soft knock at the door doesn't draw any reaction from him. He knows who stands just outside of it and he doesn't care. "Theo, I brought you some pancakes," his older brother's muffled voice calls. The door opens, but Theodorus still doesn't move from his place at the window. He can feel Vincent's soft blue gaze, can feel the sadness and concern in that look, but no amount of good intentions and sympathy can soothe the irrevocably broken parts of himself. "If you're not going to eat something, you at least need to drink some rouge. You've lost too much weight."

"Mmm," is the only response he gets and Vincent sighs and moves closer, daring to put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Theo..." he begins, and empty, dark blue eyes slide to peer at him. "I'm worried about you. Everyone's worried about you." Vincent is fully prepared for the backlash as he continues, "(Y/n) wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

Theodorus's eyes spark and his ever-present scowl deepens as he shakes his brother's hand off. "Don't talk to me about her."

"She loved you, Theo. You know that." His brother's voice takes on a stern edge, daring him to say otherwise.

Those words hurt him more than his brother could ever know. 

Rising from his seat with a growl, Theodorus stalks over to the bottle of rouge Vincent set with the pancakes on his nightstand. He ignores the pancakes; food has lost its pleasure to him, but he grabs the bottle of red liquid, not even bothering with a cup as he uncorks it and knocks back a few mouthfuls. Wiping his mouth, he sits heavily on his bed, dropping the bottle and holding his head in his hands. "Damn her for making me feel this way. Damn her for leaving me." He sighs harshly, bitterly. "No. That's not right."

Vincent sits next to him, quietly offering the support of an older brother. "Tell me, Theo."

A sob wracks his form, unbidden. "It's my fault, Vince. She left because...because I never told her how much I love her!" The tears come hard and fast, streaming down his face and dripping off his chin as more sobs leave him shaking. "I never told her how much she meant to me even though...even though she never hesitated to tell me she loved me. When she first told me...it was the happiest day of my life, but now it hurts so bad because I couldn't say those words back to her."

"Theo-"

He turns on his brother, grasping him by the collar of his shirt and staring at him with wide, heartbroken eyes. "I miss her so damn much, and it's killing me that she's gone!" Leaning his head into Vincent's shoulder, he cries brokenly. "I-I couldn't even convey how much I loved her with my actions!"

All Vincent can do is hold his brother as every bit of his anguish comes pouring out, tears of his own welling in his eyes as he prays for an end to this tragic couple's misery.

Hours pass. Vincent, refusing to leave him like this, curls up to sleep in a chair, while Theodorus lies awake on the bed, staring up at the shadowed ceiling of his room with dry, irritated eyes. Every now and then, a stray tear follows the tracks left on his cheeks by all those that came before it.

"I love you, (y/n). Come back to me..." he says to the still air, but it's too late now and there's no one there to hear it. Only your love can heal him and he can only find that in dreams.

[in-tua-deep]

i need you to know that every once in a while i go back and read your whole responsible luther au from start to finish and like.... i would legit read 100k of that and still want more, i LOVE that entire concept to PIECES and just kdjdjfhfl thank you for elaborating on that plot so much

adsfdDFSGHF i’m v flattered i will admit I myself didn’t expect to become as fond as I have with that particular au lmao i think it’s a combo of the way luther in that au is generally unflappable and “same shit as always” and the family actually getting together and being an actual family

Not even the big family stuff either just the dumb little interactions

(posts for this au here: one, two, three, four, five, six)

Like Luther comes home from work, exhausted, walks in and the first thing he sees as he walks in is Diego standing at the open fridge drinking straight from the milk carton.

“Diego.” Luther states, halfway incredulous because come on, “Do I live in a frat house? There’s glasses in the cabinet to your right and I know you know that.”

“What do you know about frat houses?” Diego sneers, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “Not like any of us went to college, ‘les they give out degrees in sucking up.”

Luther presses his hands together and touches them to his mouth for a second of patience. “Diego,” He starts over, “What are you doing here?”

“Babysitting.” Diego shrugs, placing the milk back in the fridge and closing the door. Luther makes a mental note to buy more if only so that he doesn’t have to share in Diego’s gross mouth germs.

He can’t contain it. “For fu - is this what you do at home Diego? Do you even own glasses?”

Diego shrugs again, not even disguising the grin across his face. He likes pushing Luther’s buttons, like the absolute dick he is. “Just saving you on some washing up, Luth.” Diego informs him cheerfully, moving to pass him and clapping him on the shoulder in faux friendliness. 

Luther is about to make an very inadvisable movement (that movement being grabbing Diego and tossing him across the room and maybe pouring out the rest of the milk on top of his smug little - ) when Five pops into the room in a flash of blue.

“Luther!” Luther’s favorite brother greets him enthusiastically as Klaus stumbles out of his bedroom, brandishing a bottle of nail polish like a weapon. Judging from Five’s half-done fingers, it’s clear what they were up to. Luther has a feeling he’s going to end up with nail polish on his coat in a hot second.

It’s more of a surprise when Vanya walks out of the room as well, sporting electric blue painted nails and looking mildly uncomfortable. Of course, mildly uncomfortable is pretty much Vanya’s default state so Luther doesn’t think anything of it.

“Hello Five, hello Klaus.” Luther greets his roommates, smile plastered on his face, “Hello people who do not live here.”

“You need to get more eggs.” Diego tells him, not even looking abashed at Luther’s implied reprimand. Which, considering Diego procured a key weeks ago (which Luther did not give him) might be a little fair. It’s not like Diego isn’t invited maybe 25% of the time.

“Klaus called.” Vanya admits, “He said Diego was being boring and I needed to come over before someone was murdered. Probably Klaus, if we’re being honest.”

“Hey!” Klaus protests automatically, before tilting his head to acknowledge the point.

“Luther!” Five tugs at Luther’s coat insistently as he’s been doing pretty much since they walked out of the bedroom.

Well, time to pay attention to the little monster. Luther reaches down and swings his littlest brother up into his arms, earning a shriek even though it’s a familiar move at this point. 

“Ooh! Me too, me too!” Klaus crowds closer, making grabby hands. Luther sighs deeply but obliges, swinging Klaus up and over his shoulder easily and earning another delighted shriek. Luther wonders what it would be like without his super strength. Wonders how the rest of the world manages.

He ignores Diego’s look as he makes his way over to the couch, swaying both his brothers from side to side as they try and grab at one another. It’s a little bit like trying to balance a very tall stack of books with a wine glass on top - difficult but not exactly impossible. They certainly don’t try make it easier on him.

Having had enough, Luther calmly dumps both of them onto the couch. 

Vanya strolls over and plucks the bottle of nail polish out of Klaus’s hands, circling the couch and nudging him over so she can sit by Five where she wordlessly unscrews the cap and reaches out a hand for Five to put his into. Apparently it’s nail painting time again.

“What did you want, Five?” Luther asks, amused as he collapses into the big thrift store armchair with a quiet oof. 

“What’s for dinner?” Five asks, rolling his eyes.

Diego groans, “Ugh, that’s all he’s been asking for like, an hour.”

“I’m a growing boy!” Five protests, jerking his hands and earning himself a scolding shush from Vanya as the nail polish smears. She uses the corner of one of her own nails to clean it up a little. 

“Growing sideways,” Diego teases, reaching a hand out to ruffle Five’s hair. Unfortunately, it seems Five anticipated the move and Diego narrowly avoids the snap of Five’s teeth and the resulting shit eating grin.

“Luther!” Diego sounds scandalized, gesturing at their grinning brother as Klaus laughs quietly to himself.

“Children, behave.” Luther deadpans. 

“That’s what they say when we’re together!” Klaus immediately sings at the top of his lungs, making Vanya wince away and give him a look. Klaus shrugs unapologetically and she rolls her eyes, turning her attention back to her task.

“We should liberate Luther’s records from the house.” Five says, looking thoughtful.

“No one’s going to the house.” Luther vetoes, again. It’s like Five is just looking for excuses these days to suggest exploring the house for things.

“Maybe when Dad’s dead.” Diego says, finally coming around the sofa to sit in the last remaining armchair. Luther winces and doesn’t respond. As much as he doesn’t see eye to eye with Reginald these days - there’s still a part of him that loves the old man, even if therapy is making him see more and more that the feeling wasn’t exactly returned.

“God,” Klaus sighs, throwing his head back dramatically, “If you had my powers you wouldn’t be wishing for the old man’s death, ugh.”

The family shares a collective wince as they remember that for Klaus, harassment from their father wasn’t exactly something that stopped with his death.

“Aw, don’t look so glum! Ben here has promised to be my guard chihuahua.” Klaus informs them all cheerfully after noticing the long faces. He turns his face to the side, where it’s probably Ben exists. “What? Chihuahuas have a great and noble history! You should be flattered! What? Wait, Ben, no - ”

The rest of the family decides to move on as Klaus devolves into a whispered half-conversation with their dearly departed sibling. It drives them all crazy that they can’t hear one half of the conversation.

“You never said what’s for dinner.” Five points out, just a little petulantly. Vanya gives him a gentle nudge as reprimand for moving too much, but she’s finishing up with the last nail anyway so it’s not terribly important. 

Luther really doesn’t feel like cooking. Mainly because he’s really bad at it. He looks over at Vanya, who is the only person who has been keeping them all from eating like freshman college students and getting scurvy, but she’s studiously examining her job on Five’s nails. Clearly she doesn’t exactly feel like cooking, either.

“Chinese?” Luther offers, hopeful. 

Five pulls a face, but Klaus brightens up, head snapping around from his little argument. Luther’s hope dies in his chest. Feeding their whole family is an adventure in juggling - how their Mom fed them all for so many years without snapping in half from bending over backwards to please everyone.

Then again, it’s not like any of them had the choice to refuse their food in their father’s house no matter personal preference. It was wolf it down regardless of taste or starve and potentially faint during training.

But there is one thing they can all agree on. t’s just a last resort because Luther is so very tired of having it every other night but hey, when needs must, right?

“Pizza?” Luther offers and everyone sort of nods and hums their agreement at that. Luther knows all of their orders by heart at this point. Even Diego “my body is a temple” Hargreeves doesn’t say no to pizza, usually. 

“You know, we could make it slightly healthier and make our own?” Vanya points out, but it’s only halfhearted. “I heard you can make the crust with cauliflower or something.”

“You think we have cauliflower in this house?” Five asks with an arched eyebrow, and Vanya concedes the point. Luther feels almost offended at the implications about the state of health food in his place, but it’s also a fair point so. No like he can rebuff it. 

“Pizza it is.” Luther states firmly before this can devolve into an actual debate on the state of their dinner. 

He gets up to go grab his phone and can hear the sound of a fight breaking out behind him, Klaus’s voice being the loudest. Luther had so hoped Vanya sitting there would have prevented the inevitable but she was in on the shenanigans far more often than Luther would have expected.

(Sometimes he wondered what their childhoods would have looked like if Vanya had been more included. He had suspicions that she would have never been on his side in an argument, anyway.)

Luther shakes his head as he punches in the number for the pizza place. For a few minutes that mess in the living room is not his problem.

Of course, a few minutes of peace never lasts for very long. Not in this family.

[mushroommouth]

The Good Mourning Part III

A/N: Haha, guess who’s not dead? 

Anyway, happy we’re-done-with-January! Sorry this chapter is somewhat dialogue-heavy. There was a lot of resolution that had to be done and not much action to go along with it. 

Additionally, there are some scenes missing/ things that weren’t addressed quite just yet. Some of them were removed for for flow purposes, and others. Well. We’ll get there when we get there. 

Regardless, I hope you enjoy the finale of TGM! 

-Skye (👻)

-

“Easy, easy—”

Aaron laughed and nudged his boss’s hand off his arm.

“I’m burned not busted. Besides, you’re the one a billion years old.” Aaron smirked and readjusted the icing bag. “I should be worrying over you, if anything.”

 “Very funny. I’ll fire you any day now, I swear.” Aaron’s boss rolled his eyes and leaned on the counter. “Besides, you got burned on your dominant hand. Look at this frosting work. It’s- actually, It’s fine. But you’ve certainly done a lot better.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just kind of hard to get a good grip. I’ll get the hang of it.”

“And your leg?”

“Again, I said I’m fine. What the hell is your problem? It’s been almost three months.” Aaron rolled his shoulder and sighed before setting down the icing bag. “Also, I can’t work when you’re looking at me like that. Just…really. What is going on with you, Stanley?”

 Stanley sighed and rubbed his face before nervously scratching at his beard.

“I…I don’t know. I guess I never really had a family and–  c’mon, you little shit. Don’t make me say it.”

“Aww, boss. You never told me you had a heart deep beneath that gross crusty old man act.” Aaron laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. Real cute. See if I sign your check next time, much less open up.” Stanley stormed across the kitchen to wash his hands. “You’re real charming, kid.”

“Oh don’t be like that.” Aaron picked up the icing bag and started gently swirling frosting onto each cupcake. “You know what I mean. When I was out, there’s no one else I woulda trusted to watch Tom ‘n the kittens…’n…I don’t know. If I could have my cat in here, with you guys and baking and all… I don’t think I’d ever leave.” 

Aaron smiled slightly.

“Besides, you were there for me when I had no one and you hired me as a cashier, and then you gave me the chance at…this.”

Aaron froze before bursting out in laughter.  

“Stan, are you-are you crying?”

“I’m just thinking about how terrible of a cashier you were.” Stanley sniffled and wiped at his eyes in the crook of his elbow. “You were friggin terrible. Got to me is all.”

He put gloves on and walked to stand next to Aaron. 

“We lost almost as much money from you doing math bad as when you were out.” Stan grabbed a tray of red velvet and got started icing them. “We needed ya here. We were hit pretty hard without you. I…should have really kept my promise and made the big guy pay for it.” 

“You mean Dan? I mean, they were hit pretty hard, too.” Aaron sighed. “I mean, literally, sure. He’s been in and out of the hospital since. I can’t imagine what his copay is, and if he didn’t step in front of it for me, I’d been finished for, I’m sure. But also… I dunno. I don’t really have a family either, but when I do it’s this.”

“You’re a good guy, Aaron.”

Aaron snorted. “You’re just saying that to make me feel good about myself.” 

“Yeah, you’re kind of a jackass.”

Aaron laughed. “Yeah. No worries about losing the money though. People have been trailing in here non-stop because they thought we closed for a bit because something happened to you. Y’know, in your fragile, elderly state.”

“Yeah, yeah. You know, it’s a shame the fire didn’t burn your hair off. You look like a frickin’ hippy.”

Aaron laughed harder. “Maybe for your birthday. You’ve only got so many left, after all.”

“Shame it didn’t burn your mouth off, too.”

They iced in silence for a moment before Stanley spoke up again.

“Hey, once we’re in the clear again and have enough money saved up, I think you gave me an idea for our next spot, Aaron.”

—

Cody cautiously opened the door.

“Hey Milo?” He asked. “Dad and Miranda want to know if you would rather have sparkling red grape juice or sparkling…red grape juice?”

Milo looked up from his project.

“…What?” 

“We’re out of white, but the red are different brands.” Cody said. 

“I… got that. I meant why, I guess.” 

“Oh! Dad and Miranda, uh. Do this dinner thing on special occasions. They get Italian takeout and wine, light a bunch of candles and pretend it’s all fancy. They started getting the grape juice, so I feel included and junk.”

“Huh.” Milo picked up the duck tape. “Sorry, I…uh. Does this look right to you?”

Cody stepped into the room and flicked on the light.

“It looks like…holy cow, are you done?”

Milo held Jake’s guitar close, fidgeting with the neck. 

“Almost, I think! The top part needs a little more tape and junk.” Milo set the guitar down gently on the bed. “How does it look?”

 The guitar was, truthfully, an amalgamation of glue and tape, but it was the first time Cody had seen it in one piece in months. All the strings were fixed, the paint that could be reapplied was, and it seemed finally whole. Cody walked up and smiled, taking in the details of the guitar.

As soon as he looked up, though, the smile fell in an instant.

“Milo?” 

“Hmm?” 

“When was the last time you slept?”

“Last night.”

 “For more than two hours?”

 “…That’s not fair.” Milo rubbed his eyes as if trying to wipe away the bags. “’Sides, look how far I got!”

“Milo, that’s cool and all, but—”

“Cody, you know this is important to me.” 

“Yes, but at our age we need ten-to-twelve hours of sleep.” Cody sighed. “Milo…I’m worried about you. You’re all pale, and…you look like you’re starting to get sick. Sleep is–”

“I can’t sleep, okay?!” Milo balled his fists. “I tried. I really, really tried. I know it’s important. I just…can’t.”

 Cody grabbed some tissues and sat down on the other side of the bed, trying not to jostle the guitar.  He reached over and handed a tissue to Milo, who immediately began wiping away the rapidly-beading tears. 

“Not like I can tell Dad, right?” Milo laughed dryly. 

Cody forced a smile. 

“Well, you can soon, right? That’s what we’re celebrating. Dan is finally getting his wires out. He’ll be able to eat for real soon and his teeth were all fixed and the surgery went well-he’s in the clear! It’s your last night with us with Dan hurt. Everything’s going back to normal.” 

“‘Cept it won’t.” Milo muttered. “One of my dads is still gone and hasn’t made even a little bit of a sign to say he’s out there. And I saw the other- Cody, I don’t ever want to see Dan like that again. I…” 

“Daniel Fuller, sit down!” 

Dan whipped his head around from beside his hospital bed, looking dazedly at the IVs he ripped out and back up at Reese. 

“Whhh…” Dan’s mouth felt like it was full of cotton. That felt correct given the circumstances, but he couldn’t remember exactly why. 

Reese sighed and began walking across the room to guide him back to the hospital bed. 

She forced a slight smile as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“…Welcome back to the world of the living.” 

Finally, it clicked as Reese began putting back in the IVs. If Reese was here, then he was at the hospital. And if he was at the hospital… 

“Whirrrrrr…is Ja’e?” Dan asked. “Mi’o?” 

Reese frowned and looked to the other member of the room. Milo was looking back at Dan with wide, puffy eyes. His cheeks were streaked and stained with tears. He was holding something up with his sweatshirt, keeping it tight to his chest. 

Milo stood up, taking a step toward Dan, wanting nothing more than to lunge at his dad and cry for hours. However, the movement seemed to remind Milo about what he was holding onto and he tensed up again. 

Dan looked at Milo worriedly. He moved to to get up again, but Reese gave him a stern look. 

“That’s enough, Mr. Fuller.” She watched him as he hesitantly scooted back into the bed. “You were concussed something fierce, not to mention the broken jaw and fractured cheekbone. You are going to stay still until at least the swelling goes down so we can do surgery.”

That was right. He and Aaron went to Donna’s old house. The rest was kind of  fuzzy, but Dan was pretty sure Jake ended up being there. Milo was left with Cody. And now Dan and Milo were both at the hospital. 

“It’s weird treating you and not Milo. You’re usually the safe one,” Reese forced a faint smile. She looked at Milo for a moment and back to Dan. “I have to go do rounds, but I’ll be right back. Just- please. Stay still. There’s the call button if you need me.”

Dan absentmindedly touched the bandage around his face while looking over Milo carefully. Milo seemed beyond upset, but not physically hurt. Dan sighed in relief and sank back into the hospital bed. He closed his eyes without realizing it, and jerked back awake from the movement on the other side of the room. 

“Dad.” Milo sniffled, holding on to what was in his sweatshirt in one hand and wiping tears and snot off his face with the other. “Dad, Dad, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t-“ 

Milo was cut off by Dan wordlessly cupping a hand (the free one, the other was resting with the IVs) on the side of his face, silently wiping some of Milo’s tears away. 

“Mi’o.” Dan said again, this time quieter but equally as desperate. He looked at his son intensely, desperate to say more and comfort him but not about to test the waters with Reese any further. 

They looked at each other for a moment before Milo ripped his gaze away. Without another word, he dumped the splinters of Jake’s guitar onto Dan’s bed. 

To Dan’s credit, he didn’t scream or wail like Milo feared he might—or like what Milo felt like doing. In fact, other than a faint gasp,  Dan was so quiet that Milo had to force himself to turn around from the comfort of looking at the wall. 

Dan was holding part of the neck, eyes wide. Tears were pooling up and spilling down his cheeks, but he didn’t seem to realize it. He gently nudged one of the pieces aside, looking at the scope of the damage. 

The only response from the anchor- the thing keeping Jake with them- was a pitiful and faint cyan glow before fading out entirely. 

Dan tightened his grip on the piece he was holding and began to tremble. 

He didn’t scream or wail. Instead he cried quietly, holding the remaining pieces of his best friend. Milo wasn’t sure how long he watched Dan cry. Milo cried too, sure, but it felt strange. Dan, Dan Milo’s father, Dan the strong, Dan the one who had to keep it together so long for both Jake and Milo. 

Neither talked much except occasional choked off apologies or reassurances. After awhile, it seemed to wear Dan out significantly. He fell asleep holding Milo’s hand in one hand and the same piece of the guitar in the other. Milo gathered up most of the pieces with his free hand, trying not to wake Dan up. 

And when Reese came back, she didn’t comment on the broken guitar in the bed or report Milo staying past visiting hours, sleeping by Dan’s side. 

And when Milo woke up with an additional blanket on his shoulders, his father fast and deep asleep still from painkillers, he didn’t say anything, either. But neither forgot. 

“-ilo? Milo?” 

“Hm?” Milo shook his head of the memory, trying to clear it like an Etch-a-sketch. 

“I lost you for a second.” Cody offered more tissues, and Milo was shocked to realize how many tears were streaming down his cheeks. 

“Sorry, I thought I was done with…all this.” Milo scrubbed at his eyes and wiped his nose

They sat in silence for a moment. The only sounds were Milo’s stifled sniffling and the gentle hum of the heater. 

“It’s…okay to be upset. It was scary.” Cody sighed. “But you can always talk about it, ya know? It’s been fun with you being here more– though the situation isn’t great– and I just wish… I don’t know.” 

Cody scratched the back of his neck and looked away. 

“Make sure to take care of yourself too, Milo.”   

Milo was silent for a moment before picking up the tape again and pulling the guitar into his lap. He ripped off a piece of duck tape and firmly wrapped it around the neck of the guitar. 

“I know.” He finally responded quietly. “‘Sides, even if I didn’t, I think you would- I don’t know.” 

“Post a ‘Milo cringe compilation everyday until Milo eats like a human?’” 

“I dunno, I’d have to be embarrassed first for it to be cringe.” Milo laughed. “I wasn’t eating like a human before, anyway.” 

“What about a ‘Cody snitches and tells Tegan, who won’t leave it alone’ kind of thing?’”

Milo gasped dramatically. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Nah, that’d be low. Even for me.” Cody leaned back before grinning. “Maybe…summoning an ancient god to hex you for your hubris until you get a full night’s sleep?” 

“Actually, that’s your closest yet.” Milo smiled back. “But where’ll you get the tome?”

“Ah. Rats.” Cody snapped his fingers. “You got me there. For now.” 

“You’ll find a way.” Milo yawned. “Always do.” 

“Heh.” 

The two sat in quiet for a moment as Cody watched Milo tinker with the guitar.

“I…think it’s finally sturdy.”

Milo gently handed the guitar for Cody to look over. Cody ran his fingers along the cracks and seems, before holding it as if to play. He then looked at it again before beaming at Milo. 

“Milo, you did it!” Cody handed it back. “It looks great.” 

“Thanks!” He took the guitar back and began gently picking at a piece of glue that obtruded above the crack it fixed. “All that’s left is tuning it, I think. I think.”

“Now would be a good time to take a break.” Cody got up from the bed. “Dinner’s been here and ready. I just came up here to ask about the grape juice.” 

“I…either’s fine? I guess?” 

“Does that mean you’ll come down?”

Milo looked away and held the guitar close. 

“Milo-“

“I just need to tune it. I already found tutorials online.” Milo smiled tiredly. “I’ll come down when I’m done, okay? And that’s it.” 

“…Promise?” 

“I promise.” 

Cody sighed and stood up. He hugged Milo briefly before heading to the door. 

“…Your plate will be in the fridge.” 

Cody stepped out of the room and headed to the kitchen. Cody couldn’t bring himself to meet Dom’s hopeful eyes. 

“Milo’s not coming.” 

  —-

“-Then let’s hear how it sounds all together! If you don’t have a pick, for a gentler sound, strum your guitar using your thumb like this!” The grainy figure adjusted their camera slightly before demonstrating a simple thumb. “My dad taught me this trick when I was-“ 

“Yeuch.” Milo shut his phone off before the tutorial could finish and flopped back onto the bed. 

He rubbed his eyes, wishing he shut the light back off when Cody left. He lay like that for a moment and counting his breath, hands gently pressed into his eyes until he saw the slightest bursts of stars. 

Finally, Milo shot up and began flapping his arm nervously, trying to calm down. 

“Okay, okay. Okay.” He took a deep breath and grabbed the guitar. “Dad, I dunno if you can hear me, but if this doesn’t work- if this doesn’t work, I’m going to take a break for a bit, okay? I’ll come back, but I’m beginning to think Cody’s right, and- okay.” 

Milo held the guitar like how he saw in the video and took deep breaths in and out. 

“Okay. On the count of three.” 

“One-“ Milo lifted his hand shakily and held it just above the chords. 

“Two.” He took a quick shallow breath, meaning to do the exact opposite. 

“Three.” 

Milo strummed the guitar. There was the sound of glass breaking and a bright cyan light engulfed his vision. 

  —-

  The guitar was ripped away before Milo could realize what was happening. 

It floated to the middle of the room, where it hovered before a figure formed around it. The figure, entirely blank other than vaguely humanoid, hesitated before quickly taking on their features. First was a neat burial suit, followed by tired eyes and a shock of blonde hair. 

  In a matter of seconds, there was Jake. 

  Jake collapsed to the floor, holding on to the guitar strapped to his chest like a lifeline, and took a deep and unnecessary breath. His hand moved from the guitar to grab at his unmoving chest. He gasped again before starting to get up. 

“Dad?” Milo tried to blink some of the blotches out of his eyes. 

“Milo-“ Jake started, but Milo had already jumped off the bed and bounded toward him. 

Jake instinctively raised his arms to hold Milo in the embrace, but they phased right through Milo. The guitar stopped Milo from going through him entirely, which caused Milo to gently lay a hand on it as be began breathing faster and faster. 

“Sorry,” Jake started. He cringed slightly at the echo effect of his voice. “I don’t think I’m all the way back yet-“ 

“Dad, I’m so sorry for fighting with you and saying you’re not my dad, and for making you feel like you can’t tell me stuff, and I’m sorry for taking so long to fix this and for the haunted house and for talking back to you and-“ 

“Breathe.” Jake smiled softly and got as close as he could to wrapping his arms around Milo. Milo shuddered for a second at the cold sensation rather than the feeling of touch. “Milo, you did so, so great.” 

“But I- but I…” Milo trailed off and burst into tears. 

The two stood in the mock hug for a moment, Milo’s hand not leaving the guitar. Jake waited until Milo’s breathing evened out somewhat into a quiet hiccup. 

“You brought me back.” Jake reached up and held his hand as if he were cupping Milo’s cheek. “You put back together the guitar—that’s incredible! You’re incredible, Milo.” 

“Yeah.” Milo sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “Yeah! Take that, Cody! Sleep is for the weak!” 

Jake chuckled. 

“I don’t know about that.“ He cleared his throat. “Im fact, I think sleep might be up there in the whole ‘human needs’ thing. When’s the last time you slept?” 

He sighed in relief as the echo effect dissipated, pulling back slightly to take in Milo’s expression. 

“Boo, not you too.” Milo pouted. “Cody and Dad have been getting on my case nonstop already.” 

“Well, they’re right. I…” Jake looked away. “How…is Dan doing, by the way?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Is he okay?” 

“He’s getting his stitches out today!” Milo smiled for a moment before his expression fell into confusion. “That’s why I’m at Cody’s. Uh, here at Cody’s. I guess.” 

“Uh-“ Jake blinked in surprise. 

“Did…you really were gone, huh?” 

Jake scratched the back of his neck and looked at the floor, still somewhat surprised by the realization he wasn’t in their house. 

“Not gone. It was like-“ He shook his head. “I don’t know how to describe it, but not gone. And just now, Milo, you made the door to bring me back here.”

Jake held up the guitar and smiled. 

“I could feel you, though. Whenever you touched this, Milo, I knew it was you. And Cody sometimes. But Dan…” He trailed off and the smile vanished entirely.

“I think he’s been having trouble.” 

“Oh.” 

“He missed you a lot.”  

Jake laughed dryly and looked away again. 

“Well, I missed him too. I missed all of you so much.” 

Overcome with the need to ease the tension to the point he was nearly vibrating, Milo quickly replied. 

“Not as much as Cody’s gonna miss his window!” 

“What? Oh- oh my god.” 

Jake stood up quickly to get a better look at the blown-out window.  

“Did I do that? Or did you do that?”

“Definitely you. You know, this time.” Milo followed suit and peered around Jake to take in the scene. “You exploded before you came back. There was a bright light and boom, you knocked out the window. It’s…weird no one came up to check on the noise.” 

“I will definitely make sure that gets fixed.” Jake walked over to sit on the bed. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before absentmindedly fiddling with the tuning pegs of the guitar. 

Milo hesitated before sitting on the bed beside him. 

“…Was I close to doing it right?” 

“You were really close. It just needs a little more tweaking, but I can’t say it enough-the fact you fixed this without me teaching you about the parts of a guitar, the way you fixed all the pieces together- you’re incredible, Milo. And I’m so, so proud of you.” 

“Thanks.” Milo yawned. “I think it’s dumb that you can sit on furniture but you can’t hug me after being gone for like three months.” 

“It has to do with affecting the environment versus affecting a person.” 

“Hmm.” 

“Environment comes first.” 

“You sound a lot like Cody.” Milo scooted back so his back was to the wall. 

“He taught me everything I know. Which is pretty ironic if you think about it.” Jake stopped tuning and looked out of the corner of his eye at Milo. “You never answered my question. When’s the last time you slept?” 

“Last night, technically.” 

“I can’t say it enough how proud I am of you for this and being brave,” Jake fully turned to get a better look at his son. Milo turned away. “But that’s not the answer I was hoping to hear.” 

“I know. I just haven’t been able to with, you know, everything going on.” 

They sat quietly before Jake grinned.

“When you were little-really little, you’d fall asleep right away if I played for you.” Jake turned his gaze back to the guitar. “You’d always sneak out of bed and say you were going to get a snack, or use the bathroom, or get a glass of water, but instead you’d go play with your toys.” 

Jake looked around the room and locked eyes with a video game ghost plush in the corner. “Now, you sneak out of bed and come here if you can’t sleep.” 

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for tradition.” 

Jake laughed and Milo cracked a tired grin back. 

“You should play.” Milo said. “If you want.” 

Jake hesitated before adjusting the guitar slightly as if to play it. He got his fingers over the chord and before stopping jerkily. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Milo quickly added. 

Jake nodded and played a few chords, expression falling to that of focus as he tried to get the feel again. After some more nitpicking with the tuning pegs, he began to tentatively pluck out more notes. 

He looked back over at Milo and the bags under his eyes. 

“You’re sure it’s not going to make you fall asleep?” 

“I promise it’s not. I’m fourteen, remember?” 

Jake’s grin came back with full force. 

“Oh, of course.”

Without another word, he began plucking out a lullaby from a decade prior. The room was silent save for the gentle music, the house almost seeming to have emptied itself to make room for the sound itself. 

Learning an effective lullaby after the much louder and angrier Problem Sons was tricky. However, it was nowhere as tricky as an energetic toddler—or, beyond that, losing Milo Sr. 

Once Jake was comfortable enough repeating the chords of the chorus, he began to sing. His voice soft and hoarse from disuse and his eyes never left the guitar as the melody played. 

By the time he was finished, he took a breath and turned slightly to gauge Milo’s reaction. 

Of course, it was an unnecessary measure. Jake chuckled and stood up, slinging the guitar around to his back. 

“You shouldn’t make promises you don’t think you can keep.” Jake whispered to Milo’s sleeping form.

He gently brushed the hair out of Milo’s face and kissed his forehead. 

  “Goodnight, Milo.” 

  __

  The young woman shuffled in the room holding two mugs, still shaking slightly from the events that unfolded months prior. She offered a cup to her guest and took the other before sitting on the couch. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know who else to call,” she said. She took a long drink from the coffee and took a deep breath. 

“You’re quite alright.” The guest fiddled with an unlit cigar. “You’ve been such a help for us. I’d love to return the favor any way I can, though I can’t say the same for your husband.” 

“I know, but you’ll do it for me, right?” The woman looked up hopefully, holding her breath for the response. 

“Ghosts are typically not something the Church helps with. Demons, sure-but ghosts?”

The priest set down the coffee mug and stood up, walking around the room and looking at the pictures that hung the walls. He stopped at the painted portrait of the Virgin Mary and sighed. 

“Even if it was something we normally helped with, it’s been months.”

“I know.” The woman sniffled and set down her coffee mug to grab a fistful of tissues. “It’s just- I haven’t been able to sleep. I’m still scared of it coming back-it used this fire, and while it didn’t burn anything inside, it still was bright blue and real and- did you know the house that used to be here burned down? What if it was the ghost? We can’t afford to move again-what if it comes after us this time?” 

“Calm down. Take a deep breath. I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it.” 

The woman obeyed, taking in a lungful of air and holding it until the priest spoke again. 

“Your family has been in our church for decades. I cannot emphasize this enough- this is not something we can normally do. But-“ He sighed and scratched at the stubble on his cheek. “I will do it for you, just for you, and just because it’s you.” 

“Oh, thank you-“

The priest interrupted. 

“I fully believe the ghost is no longer within this building. However, for your ease of mind, I promise I will track it down if it’s still on this plane and send it to its rightful place.”

 He stuck the cigar in his mouth, chewing a bit at the mouthpiece while thinking. “Therefore, we need to know more about it. You said this place burned down before?”

“Yes. It was completely destroyed. The owner sold the property immediately after. We bought it from her and built the new house.” 

“She might know something; I’d be happy to reach out to her and get this started. Do you happen to have her name?”

“I took out the house information as soon as I heard you were coming.” The woman responded.

 She went to the dining room before returning with a handful of papers. She dug through them before coming across the deed. 

“Oh! Here we go. That’s right.” She looked up and smiled at the priest, waving the sheet of paper. 

“It was Ms. Donna Pierly.”

[sapphic-suchoripterus]

Material Spirit

Posting this here cause why the heck not :P

Summary: Inspiration can come from unexpected places, especially when you're as depressed as Adagio. Fandom: Equestria Girls Genre: Slice of Life, Hurt/Comfort (and maybe a teeny hint at Sundagio but who’s keeping track) Rating: Teen Content Warnings: profanity, slight suicidal thoughts, depressive habits, self-deprecating talk.

Adagio woke to the sound of her stomach rumbling. With a shaky hand she reached for her phone next to her pillow and tapped the screen, smudged by her own fingerprints.

4:09 PM. She sighed, realizing she had slept through the majority of the day again. Her stomach growled a second time.

Pushing the sheets off of her head, Adagio cringed as the cool air hit her sweaty face. Turning toward her night stand, she picked up her glass of lukewarm water and took a few gulps. Water dribbled out onto her shirt. She made no attempt to wipe it.

Her stomach turned with a gurgle, perhaps roused by the water, or recoiling from it not being food.

Eat something, dummy. You won’t be able to get anything else done if you don’t eat.

Adagio then mustered up her strength and reached for the box of oyster crackers standing on the floor by her bed. She popped open and ate a couple handfuls of the contents, which she decided would make up for missing both breakfast and lunch.

After tossing the box back onto the floor, she took another gulp of water and sighed as she felt her eyes begin to droop, and the bones in her neck make a small popping noise. She lay back down on her pillow and tried to forget about the fact that her hair desperately needed to be brushed.

You’re filthy. You’re so pathetic.

Shutting her eyes, she tried to remember if today was Wednesday or Thursday.

Outside of her door, she could hear her sisters chattering and thumping up and down the hallway of their apartment.

Adagio didn't bother to try following the conversation, but from the tone being thrown back and forth, she guessed it was Sonata bugging Aria to do something. Not unusual.

Nearly every day started this way for Adagio. Wake up, eat something stashed in her room, look at the ceiling, hear her sisters outside, and inevitably be reminded that she was...

Stuck.

Sure, she knew she could wake up earlier, go outside and do something, but not one muscle in her body would agree. Her eyes would refuse to open up all the way. The sweat on her face felt like a dirty sheet of plastic that kept her trapped in her bed.

This was all normal now.

This was her life after losing her amulet. The woman she truly was without her siren magic. A hollow, useless weakling long drained of dazzle.

This is the real you. Without the smoke and mirrors.

She envied and respected her younger sisters for moving on, for finding purpose and motivation. For retaining an identity without dark magic to command their every decision.

Adagio let the tears roll down her face and cursed her futility.

Her inability to get up and see the sun. Her naivety for not realizing how much of herself was intertwined with the powers she once had. The pathetic haze of simply existing.

It’s all downhill from here. This is your life as a human.

All Adagio could do was sleep. She didn't even dream anymore. Even if she had something to dream about, her brain would never have the energy.

A knock came at her door, and a tentative Sonata spoke.

"Dagi? You up?"

Adagio took a deep breath. "Yeah," she sighed.

"Uh, do you um, want to come with us to the mall?"

Adagio furrowed her brow. "Why?"

"Cause Aria like, got paid today and she has a lot of extra money this time!" chirped the youngest Dazzling.

Hmm. Maybe being somewhere besides her bed would help her feel a little refreshed. Oh please, you’ll tire out halfway through and come home with nothing.

"Maybe..."

"Oh..." Sonata replied softly. She sounded disheartened.

Great, you made your little sister sad.

"I'd have to shower first." "We're gonna go in an hour, you can do it that fast, right?"

"I doubt it, Sonata."

You’re such an asshole. She looks up to you, wants to spend time with you, and you say no.

"Okay..." Sonata breathed. She left Adagio's door.

Adagio stared at the ceiling, thoughts tumbling. You’re a terrible sister. You failed them. They pity you. You’re not worthy of their love anymore.

Light suddenly filled the room and a pillow was rudely slammed into Adagio's face.

"Okay, get up!" Aria snapped.

Adagio, not taking kindly to the intrusion, threw the pillow to the side and sat up. "What the hell was that for!?"

Aria was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and scowling. "Go shower and get dressed, you're coming to the mall with us!" Aria said with a snarl in her voice.

"Just go with Sonata," Adagio grumbled as she pulled her covers back over her head.

"Nuh-uh. You're coming too." Aria yanked the covers off Adagio.

Adagio winced. "I'm tired."

"You've been in bed the whole day!"

"My hair is too gross."

"Wash it then! You are not skipping out on me."

"I have nothing to wear."

"Then come with us and buy some new shit to wear!" Aria shouted, before reaching over and turning on Adagio's desk light. More light hit Adagio's face and seeped through her eyelids.

"I'm sick of you moping around like this. It's not good for you, it's not good for me, and it's not good for Sonata. You're making her all worried and shit. She doesn't need that."

Adagio opened her eyes.

It’s not like you can fix years of being a shitty sister to her.

"We all gotta be doing stuff, Adagio. We still gotta live, we gotta be humans, our only other option is to die like a goldfish in a toilet. I honestly don't care what you do with your life, but just lying there day after day is sad."

She’s right. You’ll never get better.

"If you won't do it for yourself, do it for Sonata an' me. Give us some impression that you still have a life."

You at least owe them that. They’ve seen the real you.

"Alright, fine. Just get out of my room and I'll be ready in a bit," said Adagio as she sat up again. She felt a tendon in her neck throb.

"Okay," said Aria, turning to leave. She paused at the door and looked over her shoulder. "Thank you, Adagio," Aria said under her breath.

"You're welcome," Adagio mumbled before Aria shut the door.

You don't deserve their patience, you know. Be grateful they haven't given up on you yet. They should, though. Think about how much happier they would be if-

Adagio huffed, and stood up out of bed. “Shower… think about showering… where’s my bath sponge…” She whispered to no one.

***

She stepped out into the living room to find Sonata and Aria dressed as if they were headed to a concert. Sonata wore bright blues and pinks, her arms covered in bracelets and her nails painted. Aria had opted for black and dark purples with contrasting greens and flashy silver chains.

Sonata looked like she was about to speak, but she kept her mouth closed.

Adagio felt a bit modest in her jeans and baseball tee. She hadn't even worn her signature headband, instead putting her hair up in a ponytail to hide the fact that it was still wet. That had been to save time, for simply blow-drying and fluffing it up would have taken half the hour.

Nuh-uh, It’s really because you’re a lazy-

"Alright let's head out," said Aria. She whispered something to Sonata before unlocking the door, and Sonata glanced back at Adagio a second time before following her sister outside.

***

The mall was, as usual, an overload to the senses. The scents of floor polish, cinnamon rolls, perfume, sports equipment, and many others collided and formed what Sonata fondly referred to as "mall smell".

It didn't bother Adagio quite as much as the sounds of the mall. People chatting, children goofing around, music blasting from store to store, and all of it amplified by the enormous hollow building. Hearing herself think wasn’t easy.

Then again, the last thing she needed was to be alone with her thoughts.

Her hand was suddenly grabbed by an excited Sonata. “Hey, hey Aria! Can we get one of those giant cinnamon buns? I’ll share it this time!”

Aria raised an eyebrow. “You promise not to wolf it all down in thirty seconds?”

Sonata pouted and pulled Adagio closer to her side. “Yeeeeeees, I promise!”

“Okay. We’ll get one then.” Aria, being the one with the money, took the lead. Adagio didn’t want to bother with trying to wrestle away the control today.

As usual, Sonata hadn’t reached for any of the napkins Adagio had set on the table for the three of them, instead opting to lick her fingers clean of the sticky sugary glaze and cinnamon filling. It didn’t disgust Adagio as much as when her little sister would unwittingly get it on her face and neglect to wipe it off.

Adagio put the plastic fork that she used to eat her third of the cinnamon bun in her mouth and chewed on one of the prongs. Now that she had something other than oyster crackers in her stomach, she felt herself perk up a bit.

Aria set her phone down and looked across the table at where Adagio was sitting.

"So, where do ya want to go?"

"Hmm?" Adagio pulled the fork out of her mouth and looked at Aria.

"I said, 'Where did you want to go?' I know you hate that place that sells overpriced hats, but honestly I don't think a blue snapback would look too bad on y-"

"Aria, what are you talking about?" Adagio asked, setting her fork down.

"You need new clothes, right?"

"I…” Adagio remembered Aria mentioning new clothes earlier, but she hadn’t thought her sister was serious.

Aria groaned and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Ugh… I’m offering to buy you some new clothes, Daj. Do you want them or not?”

“I… yes. Yes I want some new clothes.”

“Alright then,” Aria picked her phone back up.

New clothes, huh? You don’t deserve them. She pities you so much. But you won’t be turning them down, now will you?

“Where did you want to go, then?” said Aria. “That way I’ll get an idea of how much I’m spending.”

Adagio said the first thing that popped into her head.

"Bushel's."

Aria smiled a little bit, and then pocketed her phone. "Bushel's it is then."

***

Bushel's was one of the larger clothing department stores in this mall. Nothing fancy, but it had some solid variety and thankfully for Adagio, it was easy to get lost in.

Aria had taken Sonata with her to browse around the place while Adagio looked around. If she were in a better mood, they would all be looking around together. They would be building each other's ensembles bit by bit, praising certain articles of clothing and mocking the ones that were ugly. They would be having little dare contests to try on tacky jewelry or oversized sunglasses. They would be stumbling around in the most ridiculous boots they could find, laughing at each other and picking each other up off of the floor.

Adagio twiddled a shoelace between her fingers. She felt hollow.

When was the last time you even shared a laugh with your sisters? They’re probably wondering where that version of you disappeared to.

She shook the thought from her head and began to leave the shoe aisle-

Then she saw it.

It was only the backs of their heads, but Adagio knew. She recognized the hair, the voices…

Sunset Shimmer.

With her was another of the other Rainboom pals, the one with the shiny purple hair who played the keytar and wore too much mascara. The other girl with her looked a bit like the Princess from Equestria, but Adagio didn't remember her wearing glasses or having such twiggy arms. She had to have been the Princesses' human double.

Adagio felt her chest tighten, and a familiar feeling of dread creeped up her spine. She backpedaled and ducked behind a shoe shelf, only peeking around the corner at the girls.

Sunset Shimmer. To say Adagio felt conflicted about the girl now would be an understatement. It had been years since they'd seen each other, the day Adagio and her sisters lost their last connection to Equestria in their amulets.

If she hadn't stood up and sang her verse, Adagio would still have her magic. Her sisters would still have theirs. She would have fulfilled her promise to them for power and adoration. She had every reason to dance on the grave of this human brat, for causing all the color and beauty of the world to vanish in an instant.

That’s not the only reason you despise her, you jealous little asshole. You admire her too. She succeeded where you failed. She found magic. She’s living her best life. And she’s not even a siren. If she were, you’d be her bitch.

Adagio watched, as Sunset picked out a purple jacket from a clothes hanger. It had a tall and fancy collar with gold buttons and spikes along the shoulder. Sunset turned around, facing her two companions and slipping the garment on.

It was a good look for her. Sunset’s bright smile and vibrant eyes combined with the warm, dark colors and sharp angles on the jacket were stunning. It was a look that said “I have arrived, and I’ve brought a good time with me. If you want a piece, you’ll keep your attention on me!”

As far as Adagio thought, sharing a good time and a positive energy seemed to be something humans did exceedingly well.

Sunset’s companions said something to her that Adagio hadn’t caught. Sunset responded, and then she removed the garment and put it back on the rack. She was still smiling, and Adagio thought she’d even seen a little giggle.

Look how happy she is. You’ll never be as happy as that again.

Adagio scowled.

Sunset and her friends then left the store.

They didn’t need new clothes to have fun or to forget how shitty a person they are, not like you.

Adagio felt her throat tighten.

It’s so funny, just how angry you get when someone is doing better than you-

Adagio took a quick breath, then stepped out from behind the shoe shelf. “Keep busy, look through some clothes… breathe...” She mumbled.

She busied herself, looking at different jackets. She read tags. She held up sleeves and observed their lengths. She put her hand inside a few of them and felt out their interiors. A lot of them were either too scratchy or too fleece-y. Adagio wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but not those.

Her eyes kept going back to the purple jacket that Sunset had tried on. It was almost like there was a halo on it, pulling her attention back in its direction.

“Maybe…”

She strode up to the rack the jacket hung from, finally looking at it head-on. It truly was a magnificent garment. She wondered just what had compelled Sunset to try it on in the first place. Could have been anything really.

Adagio stroked it with her fingertips. It felt like suede, soft and unmoving at once. She made a little line in the warm fabric with her fingernail. She slid her way down to one of the sharp gold spikes on the shoulder. They weren’t sharp enough to draw blood, but with a little pressure, perhaps it could tear some skin. The spikes stood proud and bright, as if displaying a warning to those who would encroach on the wearer’s personal space.

It felt a little heavy as Adagio held it in her hands.

She lifted it up to her face, and inhaled.

“Hmm...:” It had a teeny tiny trace of Sunset Shimmer’s perfume on it.

It smelled good.

Really good.

Adagio slipped the jacket on.

She fixed the collar so that it stood proud, the golden buttons shimmering brightly. Adagio felt herself smile a little bit.

Adagio looked around the store for a mirror. Spotting one, she walked over to it, feeling her smile getting bigger and bigger as her reflection got closer and closer.

For the first time since losing her amulet, that blank space in front of her neck where the jewel had rested didn’t look so bare. The jacket drew attention to her shoulders and made her look stronger, sturdier. The gold adornments stood beautifully against the dark, brooding purple and made the golden highlights of her hair lustrous once more.

Oh wow, a fancy jacket is really the only thing that can boost your mood? You really are a shallow, little- “Hmph!” Adagio huffed, as she tossed her hair and smirked her sexy smirk into the mirror.

Happiness flickered in her stomach.

It’s probably just endorph-

Adagio spun around, smiling harder and walking toward the sales counter with her new favorite jacket.

***

“So if I touched those spikes, would I start bleeding?” Sonata piped up.

“You could try, but I’d rather not stain it the same day I get it,” said Adagio. “And you would be the one to clean it.”

“Heh, alrighty then,” Sonata said as she sat back in her seat. “Ooh, you wanna see the stuff I got at Clear Sky’s?” She reached into the pink plastic bag on the floor of the van.

“Sonata I swear if you turn on that light while I’m driving…” came Aria’s voice from the front.

“Oh fine…” Sonata pouted. She turned back toward Adagio and held up a little blue dragon plushie. “Touch it! It’s super soft!”

Adagio smiled, then reached out to pat the stuffed animal on the head. She was right, the glittery fabric was silky under her fingertips. “It’s very cute, Sonata.”

“Also when I squeeze her claw, her eyes light up!”

“Sonata, I mean it!” Aria growled.

Sonata stuck out her tongue in Aria’s direction, then turned back to Adagio and said in a whisper, “I’ll show you when we get home!”

“Thank you, Sonata,” Adagio replied.

***

The silence of a house relaxing was much different than the bustling mall. Adagio felt strangely serene, curled up on the couch in the living room rather than her bed. She hoped she’d still feel this way in the morning.

“Hey… Adagio?”

“Hmm?” Adagio looked up from her phone.

Aria had quietly sat down opposite to her on the couch. She looked like she was having a hard time relaxing where she sat. Her eyes darted around.

“You uh… you gonna be okay?” Aria asked, looking Adagio in the eye. “You know, like… okay okay?

Adagio set her phone down on her lap. “What do you mean?”

Aria wrung her hands together. “I mean like, do you need… help? Or something?”

“Help? What are you talking about?” Adagio spoke softly and cocked her head to the side.

Aria crossed her legs and continued. “Cause, I know a few guys. They can get you some good stuff. Not to get high or anything, I mean like legit meds. Antidepressants and stuff that actually works.”

This took Adagio by surprise. She wasn’t sure how to respond. “Well... Aria, I don’t know exactly what kind I would need,” said Adagio. “I don’t even know if I am depressed.”

Aria looked at her sister head-on. “Adagio, I know you. But I also know that healthy humans don’t lie in bed the whole day and eat nothing but crackers.”

Adagio looked off to the side, clutching the sleeves of her jacket. She couldn’t argue with that.

“I just… want you to be happy, ya know? Me and Sonata care about you. And we know you aren’t happy.”

Aria gave her sister a half-smile. For her, that was truly sincere. “We wanna help you live happier, even if we’re all stuck as humans.”

Adagio sighed. “Human....” She was tired of hearing that word, but she knew Aria was right.

“I mean you don’t have to decide right now, but maybe think about it? I know it helps a lot of other humans.”

Adagio nodded. “Yeah. I understand.” She smiled at Aria.

Aria shrugged. “I know losing your magic sucked. But I also know going round and round the same things everyday isn’t gonna help.”

“Every day is the same…” Adagio echoed to herself.

Aria rested her head on her elbow. “Yeah, exactly.”

“Every day’s the same…”

“Uh, yeah…” said Aria as Adagio repeated herself.

Adagio suddenly blinked her eyes wide open. Something in her head was lighting up.

“I’ll get back to you thanks Ari!” Adagio said in a rush before jumping up and rushing toward her room.

“Uh, okay?” Aria furrowed her brow in confusion.

***

Adagio stood on the tips of her toes and swept dust off of her top drawer with her hand in haste. She opened the heavy wooden container and reached inside, feeling around for her long neglected notebook and glitter pen. Grabbing them, she jumped back onto her bed and flipped on her lamp.

Her hands were shaking as she cracked open the old notebook. She scribbled a few lines of the pen on the sides of the next blank page, getting the old writing instrument working after laying dormant for so long.

She began to write, her penmanship messy.

Round and round.

Going Round and round.

No. Scratch out the ‘ing’.

Going Round and round.

Same things every day.

Every day is the same.

Wait, too many syllables.

Every day is the same.

Every day’s the same.

I lost my magic.

I lost my magic.

We lost our magic.

Wait no, keep it in present-tense for now.

Lose our magic.

Come back to that one later…

Which way do I go?

Which way do we go?

Where do we go?

Hmm…

Adagio looked down at her new jacket, smiling as the proud golden spikes twinkled.

There’s beauty in everything.

I see beauty.

I find beauty in everything.

I can find beauty in little things.

Can I find beauty in little things?

Put a star by this one. Come back to it later...

Adagio continued writing long into the night.

***