#please note this is about my preference
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You've said before you like it when people reblog memes directly from you. Why? Isn't it annoying?
Hey! So great question!!
I am from the olden days of rping on tumblr, where the reblog from the source thing wasn't such a big deal. So, part of it is it's just more comfortable to me and makes it feel more like I'm used to. I do work on reblogging from the source for memes now, but it does feel weird to me.
Sometimes I really really really really want to do a meme. Even if people don't send it to me, I know then they are interested in that meme and if I'm feeling brave, I can send it to them. Sometimes I can't keep up with my dash or I have to reblog a meme and then walk away from my laptop for a few minutes so I don't always see if someone else just so happened to reblog the same meme from the same source I did. But if they reblog from me, I get a notification.
I don't really find it that annoying to get the notifications. I do get why it might be annoying to some, but to me, I actually enjoy it. Here's the thing, I'm an OC blog. It's not like my notifications are difficult to keep up with. I can go days without a notification.
I see a lot of people saying "it sucks to have people reblog the meme but then not send any" and you are so right. But, you're not getting the memes sent in anyways, so the "reblog from the source" isn't solving the actual problem which is people don't send in memes. It's just hiding it. In fact, I think reblogging from the source is causing less memes to be sent in. This is perhaps the secret evil side to my desire to be reblogged from but... I do think people are more apt to send in a meme if they feel slight guilt at reblogging it from you. Whereas, if they reblog from the source - they don't feel the guilt. It's a free pass to not send any memes.
#ooc#please note this is about my preference#i just liked the chance to explain my reasoning behind it#to me “reblog from the source” feels so cold and empty in a hobby that is supposed to be community based#but that is my opinion
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a lot of people are using nex as a queer talking point without even mentioning they were choctaw and 2S. without even mentioning that this - harassment, assault, murder, disappearances, lies/indifference/denial about the circumstances of our death - is typical of the violence we face. not once have i seen non-native people address that we, as natives, face this same treatment within queer communities. that queer institutions use our land while declining to offer native-inclusive and -sensitive care. we suffer at the hands of white lgbt+ people just as much as we do at the hands of people outside the community.
nex is not your NB pariah. nex was a 2S, NB, choctaw child. thousands of native people go missing and are killed and no one cares. many are two-spirit. many are LGBTQIA+. many are "queer" in ways only defined and recognised by our closed cultures, that you may never hear of and may never understand.
if you are going to flock to nex, you are not going to take them from us post-mortem. they were choctaw. they were native. their tribal affiliation has already been falsely reported on. if you are talking about nex, you will talk about how unwelcoming and dangerous your communities are for us, too. you will talk about how natives face this violence constantly, everywhere. you will not remove nex from the context of them being choctaw, ever - or you won't say their name at all.
even when we die, you don't care about us. i am telling you to care about us if you want us to stop dying.
#howling#nex benedict#yeah no i'm tired of seeing edit: and they were 2s!!1!!#no. first and foremost they were a native child. can you people stop fucking stealing our children.#some other notes if you see my tags: allegedly nex preferred he/him. i will prioritise using he/him. sources seem credible.#secondarily: if you aren't Black do not say ''rest in power'' for non-Black people. i do not know choctaw mourning traditions and language#(i'm algonquain and aleut) and won't tell you what To say. but please do not use ''rest in power'' when inappropriate.#thirdly: if you don't know how to talk about us Don't Talk About Us. QUOTE us. share OUR words.#may your spirit walk freely nex. may you be at peace. may flowers grow in your footprints and birds fly on the wind of your breath.#may your ancestors open their arms to you and embrace you in love. we will never forget you. i'm sorry we failed you.#we will do better next time.
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Gravity
( EXPLICIT | No Warnings Apply | 1/1 chapter | 11394 words )
Since this courtship's beginning, Astos has learned a thing or two about Jack's preferences—and though his preference for Astos has resurfaced only very slowly, since the first reset they've been forced to endure, and though Astos has spent every moment of that long wait suffering, all the time apart has given him the opportunity to plan ahead.
April 1st really should be 🃏 International Jackstos Day 💖, right? I'm serious. This fic is serious; I am not playing around here. I'm frolicking with wild abandon sure but that's not the same thing!!!
Rated E for Earthly. The tags on this one are pretty simplistic, which may cause you to wonder: why and how 11k of words? To which I would answer: there is a model of excruciating detail in my mind's eye regarding the Jackstos Interpersonal Relationship Progression Over Time, and for reasons that I could (but will not) get into, it is best delivered to you interwoven with. ssssssssome stuff.
Happy April Fools(-In-Love)!! 💜✨
🌟 [ Keeper ] 🌟 [ Coherence ] 🌟 [ Mortification ] 🌟 [ Asking for More ] 🌟 🌟 [ Standing Comment Exchange ] 🌟 [ 250+ posts about this stuff ] 🌟
I mention this in the endnote, too, but: this fic has existed in some form or another since November of 2023 (less than a month after I witnessed the end of the video game). Isn't that amazing. I experienced Stranger of Paradise, got possessed (oneshot demon), got possessed (monstrous longfic demon), got possessed (AFM) & got possessed (this) within, like, a couple of weeks? I think? My first draft of Keeper is from like a month and a half later, also.
Always keep Jackstos in your heart, mind, & processing vortex. I hope you have an excellent Them Day, & I hope you enjoy my new this!
#stranger of paradise#jackstos#sopffic#there is at least one (1) GLARING figurative-language anachronism* in this one. but I'm not gonna tell you what it is.#find it if you can : ) hee hee hee#*(vibes-based chronology but what else is new. lol)#in other news my Gross Words Count is at an all-time high. genuinely pleased with myself in relation to this state of affairs.#have you guys been dutifully considering Gross Astos since AFM 4? I hope you are happy to see him again.#personally I miss Gross Astos anytime I forget to think about him for like 2 days in a row.#on a related note this fic is kind of A Lot. by my existing standards anyway#so on the one hand: lurkers I understand endorse and salute you now more than ever#but on the other: oh my god Please pay attention to me for this one. please it took so much concentrated effort#I've been falling down flights of stairs about this thing for MMMMMONTHS IT'S SO HARD WRANGLING THIS MANY WORDS IN A ROW#guest comments are turned ON for ALL my fic on AO3. PLEASE VALIDATE ME. THERE'S VAST SWATHS OF LORE IN IT & EVERYTHING#THEY'RE EXPERIENCING HORRORS IN THERE THEY'RE DOING TRUST FALLS#YOU CAN SKIRT POLITELY AROUND THE (*GESTURES*) STUFF IF YOU PREFER NOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT DIRECTLY#OKAY THANKS. THANK YOU. THANK YOU I LOVE YOU. YOU'RE ALL GENIUSES & MY FRIENDS#patch notes: removed a duplicate 'and'; updated word count accordingly
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this guy is a plague on my mind
#sig puyo puyo#get me an art tag the thrilling saga#please note the two red eyes#everyone else calls this guy sign't but i prefer to call him big sig#big sig#for no reason other than because it rhymes#he's an asshole and an enigma and i want to learn more about him#i would say bring him back sega but also i dont want to put my son in danger#what the hell is wrong with him /positive???#also if i spelled certified wrong. no i didn't
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#just posting in the tags bc I don't want to make a big thing of it but I really don't like these long actual video game videos :(#not everything has to be catered to me I know but I am struggling so much to finish this thing#and I struggled to finish the last few poppy playtimes#I just don't care about this kind of video game#I mean I don't really care about games generally but esp not these sorts of games that are just so much shooting and chasing and swinging#they're just so boring to me and not even dnp can keep my attention on them#please note this is very much a personal preference and I am well aware that as a medium they can do really interesting and cool things#and even as a genre#I love that different mediums and genres exist for different people to get a lot out of#but this is a medium that is so not on my wavelength#I enjoyed the undertale series bc it's so much dialogue and story stuff and the battles are very self contained rather than a constant chas#in fact that's a comfort series#(even if I couldn't get very far when I tried to play it myself bc - again - I'm just not someone who enjoys playing video games)#anyway this is all just me complaining bc I feel very alone in really not liking this kind of content#I find myself putting it on in the background and not even paying attention enough to easily catch the interesting bits#so many people really want them to do more long form videos like this and I just don't :(#I know I can just not watch them but I've never not watched a new dnp video#sorry to be a downer#please ignore me#unless you feel similarly in which case I am holding your hand#again to be very clear:#I am well aware 1) that video games as a medium have inherent worth - including ones of this genre and style#and 2) that the world and dnp don't have to cater to me#I'm just having a complain about a thing that's making me a little sad#anyway I'll stop complaining now and enjoy the bits I do like#maybe I'll even finish the video who knows#mine#also I will say the concept for this game is very cool even if the characters are annoying and unbelievable#but I do actually love the idea behind it; the melding of sci fi and fantasy/the corporation stealing ideas/having to save their stories#it's just the gameplay I find extremely dull
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do you have any good book recs about the Hapsburgs?
Ahhhhhhh what a fun ask!! Icl I mainly read hyper niche academic papers, but the main book I've read that I really really enjoyed was The Habsburgs by Dororthy Gies McGuigan(which internet archive has here!!!), which I still need to buy myself a copy of, because of how useful I found it. I've talked about it before here, so I won't just restate myself, but basically I really like the perspective it takes and how it doesn't show a preference for any specific time period(as many are wont to do with Austro-Hungary.) I'm both picky and not picky about which books I read, because on one hand, I'll often buy any book I see out in the wild because there's rarely any, but I also can't stand ones that have an obvious preference(or that I dislike stylistically.) That one just turned out to be just right for me! I have another book on my desk about them I still need to read(by Martyn Rady), that I bought somewhat recently, but I obviously can't rec yet in good faith, though maybe I'll reblog this with my thoughts in ....a good amount of time, if you're curious!
Though if you'd like to learn more about them in general, I'd recommend this website as a resource, because you can pretty much learn a good overview about anything you can imagine. If you learn more and like it, the next step is probably to dive into the academic papers of whoever piques your interest, because unless they're one of the really popular figures(i.e. Charles V, Franz Joseph, Sisi, etc.), it's hard to find books specifically about them. I mean I even think wikipedia is not a truly terrible source, though obviously I'm looking at this from a personal enjoyment perspective, and not a purely academic one LOL
#please take note i just read them for my personal entertainment#i generally trust them but the one i recced is full of anecdotes(and a lot of citations and resources ofc) which are always a little yknow.#historically innaccurate bcs who knows exactly if theyre hearsay or made up or propaganda or-#but thats definitely my fav!!! tho you should probably go thru that website a lot beforehand bcs#the only reason i could understand that book was bcs id spent like a year prior learning a lot of the basic history so#that book is more about the people themselves and a look into what they were like personally and not the greater history/politics#i will always prefer reading thru the history in general bcs theres so many lesser known fugures i find so fascinating#but even that book or the website doesnt really cover them so...wikipedia yeah but i mean ive checked th sources its not too bad#just going thru the list of a random habsburgs' kids is fun bcs they all were doing something#like i personally find all of marie antionnette(i cant spell)'s siblings wayyyyyyyyy more fascinating#id rec academic papers but god. theyre way too niche. mainly just about charles vi my personal historical interest SO#i almost bought a book abt them yesterday and even went to great lengths but omg the style annoyed me so much that i couldnt#catie.asks.#catie.rambling.txt
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Girl help I’ve lost myself to the ways in which Eathbound(one of my don’t cry songs) is the same song as Better Days (an encouragement/it’s okay to feel hurt song)
And YES I got this because they both talk about burning what I consider some of the truest statements you can make about yourself. Like SHIT MAN. WHAT THE FUCK
#if this gets thirty notes I might do art about it#Radical Face’s#AND YOUR HEAD IS POURING GASOLINE/ON THE PERSON YOUD PREFER TO BE#versus The Accidental’s#MY HEART’S BURIED IN A JUNK YARD/COVERED IT IN KEROSENE/AND BURNED IT UP IN COLD REGARD#now please excuse me while I listen to these two songs exclusively forever and ever and ever#j me#music#earthbound#the accidentals#radical face#better days#therapy ep#the odyssey album
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i read too many fantasy books i just read the new ones and go wow
read this before
and i haven't
unfortunately i have unkillable love for side characters syndrome so as much as the whole premise may be kinda halfway to shit and the main character is once again the most special ever and the lead is the same fifty shades of morally grey and bland hot i will still read the books and the sequels just so they don't kill off my new children
and then they do
#i think this is fully comprehensible but i needed to say it#this is about fourth wing in particular#the author kept writing plot twists like they were really gonna get me this time and i was like bro#this is not surprising#shoutout my children imogen ridoc liam tho#i can't decide if i should try to find a copy of the next book or just read the wikipedia summary to see if its worth it#i know this whole post sounds obnoxious as hell but eh#somebody please give me original fantasy i need more leigh bardugos give me a real twist or something really fucking off the wall#on that note i am taking book recs preferably new adult fantasy#not that anyone will see this but still#i just reread the tags and i meant fully incomprehensible#whatever
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NOTE: THIS ITEM IS CURRENTLY IN PREORDER. IT WILL SHIP IN JUNE-JULY 2023. We will be printing based on preorder size, so grab one now if you want one!
More than 40 trans writers and artists have joined forces to explore the deeper meanings of the Fast & Furious franchise (and also gender). There's really no way to know why this exists, but it does, and you can own it! Suitable for F&F fans and newcomers alike. Contributions include:
- A new short story by Manhunt author Gretchen Felker-Martin - A demolition derby driver’s perspective on 2 Fast 2 Furious’s derby scene - An essay contemplating the queer symbolism of Cipher’s bowl cut - The scoop on the franchise’s only canonically nonbinary character - Instructions for an F&F-themed tabletop roleplaying game - A contemplation of which Taylor Swift album represents each F&F character - Plus: Bingo cards! Comics! Haiku! And, of course, hot gay erotica…
2 Trans 2 Furious is edited by Tuck Woodstock & Niko Stratis, with cover art by Mattie Lubchansky and zine design by Shay Mirk.
~
This zine is 8.5" x 5.5" and perfect-bound like a real book — fancy! Interior pages are black & white. We're guessing this baby is like 100 pages long but we'll get back to you on that.
Currently only shipping to the United States, sorry! We're hoping to at least expand to Canada soon, and also plan to add a PDF ebook option, so keep an eye out!
(that "the scoop on the franchise's only canonically nonbinary character" is the page i contributed about our one & only beloved akd-acted cam stone!! plus also if you're interested in preordering a fancy printed copy of a zine about fast & furious, which you don't have to even know about or like, with all trans contributors. including me)
#and i don't even hardly know about it or like it. proof positive#cam stone#i even looked up typical pixel to dpi ratios so my art would be high res enough for printing. Canvas Big & my laptop hated it lol....#but indeed there's three cam pics including an effort at a kind of pinup adjacent Ooh Cam Stone one lol. carefully placed torque wrenches#anyone look up f&f posting on this site....there's gotta be; right. this whole zine is an ode to that. well here goes a few tags:#fast & furious#f&f#2 fast 2 furious#gets a special shoutout. inspiring us all well beyond [even seeing any f&f related stuff. tfatf....#also would be one less contributer if not scholar nothingunrealistic.tumblr.com; also the source of my knowing abt cam stone in general;#being the one to know of this project & go ''perfect cam stone opportunity'' like it Really is isn't it#and thus; against all odds but also appropriately; Racing to actually create a page abt them to spread the good news#in that there was like a month & a half's heads up but i still exponentially did most of the actual execution days before the deadline#ran into some technical difficulties in the final hours lol but then seized a Post Submission Editing Opportunity to amend that w/more time#and to go ''i wrote it as fast & furious: crossroads which is what many sources format it as But official materials write it like#fast & furious crossroads without the colon & it's nbd but i would prefer to change it =('' getting a yeah no prob lol....#fixed up some very minor visual errors & changed one instance of word ordering so that it had some more Prosody imo. didn't mention that lo#plus going ''yeah there can/should be an editor's note to emphasize This Is Really Real Not An OC b/c that's clearer And funnier''#fast & furious extended universe really has a nonbinary character & if they're for real abt this finale Trilogy call akd up please....#let's get that cam & vienna cameo it's fast(tm) easy & free (it's not free....might not even be easy but it's more than worth it)#fast & furious crossroads#anyone looking That up has gotta get in on this#pdf / virtual option tba as mentioned....but physical copy rules too. i forget if i sent them my mailing address but i think i did lol#the ideal of being Gifted one like yeah i Will take this around with me then thank you#truly the most formal publishing my Work has ever seen. besides ''online'' or ''once i did a painting that i think was on the wapo site''#and a very appropriate way to achieve that....but fr what's great is So Many More Ppl Can Now Learn Cam Stone Exists#we've got The Scoop as attested babey!!! 🍨#and in turn we owe it all to akd everyone say thank you akd for acting that pwns & a je ne sais quoi to boot#which; in turn; thank you kompenso; thank you will roland's pwning acting/je ne sais quoi; thank you michael greif What Works understander.#i have remembered that pixels are implicit in the term ''dpi''....but it's a wash on clarity yet funnier to leave it as i wrote it
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So, I've been working on my OC's again, and honestly I'm just having such a fun time flushing them out into (hopefully) believable humans~~
Annddd, not that I expect anyone to really care, but if I was gonna share them, and you were going to care, what would you guys want to see first?
#waterfallpolls#waterfalltalks#If you guys don't care thats totally fine!!#also just a side note: i feel so weird saying 'you guys'#like as if i have? an audience? like- hadjsidsak it always feels a bit weird to me hahaha#but at the same time i like having a lil place here#to put my insanity and sometimes people like that#ANYwaYS back to the point of this#if you DO care and DO have a preference please feel free to vote!!#or comment/dm/send an ask if theres anything in particular u wanna add#just generally not sure how people go about this#im also WELL aware my guys are a lil new#not fully flushed out and definitely not gonna be some peoples thing#so if you wanna ignore this please go ahead <333#idk why im anxious suddenly haha#please forgive my insanity in these tags <3#thank you to anyone who reaches out/replies to the poll#even if the reply is just 'idc about ur ocs please get back to fandoms'#(and i promise- for those of you who ARE waiting for content)#(there WILL be fandom content coming too)#(soon as The Braincell decides to power on again~~)
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does anyone have favourite recipes for like... bean or chickpea salads? i tried one with chickpeas recently but it turned out sad & flavourless.
#it's still sitting in the fridge because idk how to fix it r.i.p#im trying to figure out some easy lunch options for when i start working#something besides sad gluten free sandwich lmao#wraps are also Not Great because they tend to fall apart if the tortillas aren't super fresh#so im thinking salad rice bowls with some sort of protein i can prep cold#hence: bean salads?#also side note i hate how some foods are seen as Healthy and Virtuous#it is so fucking weird when people congratulate me for eating something Healthy#buddy that is not on my radar. selection criteria goes like this: is it gluten free? is it tasty? is it easy to make?#is it filling enough that i wont be hungry again in 10 minutes? can i eat it with a fork?#with the one slight concession to healthiness of 'i should probably eat a fruit or vegetable today'#thats literally it. dont praise me for eating a salad & ESPECIALLY not in comparison to your own lunch. you're being so fucking weird#tomorrow i'll be eating a tv dinner with insane amounts of sodium b/c i was too tired to prep anything#it's the same as when people get all weird about me just wanting water to drink#as if im Denying myself Flavoured Beverage#no!!!!! i really just want water sometimes. blease. theres a reason i bring a water bottle everywhere#confession: i have sometimes ordered Flavoured Beverage specifically in order to appear Normal#even when i would have preferred water#the food thing is often worse though because Added Side of Fatphobia#usually self-directed from the person saying it. which i have no idea how to handle#stop using me as a stick to beat yourself up with!!!! please!!!!!!!! i hate it#....hm. this is not what i intended this post to be about#anyway! bean salads! tell me about em#personal#recipes#(hopefully)
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The most difficult thing for me right now is trying to find songs from Abiteth's perspective toward any of her boys... mostly because I want them to also be songs that I'll enjoy listening to, and I'm extremely picky about my music 🥲🥲
It's just so annoying LMAO I'M NOT LOOKING FOR HELP BTW I just wanted to ramble about it for a second HAHAHA to see if rambling about it helps me figure out what I'm actually LOOKING for....
#also is it just me or is it hard to find love songs from women to men#it'S PROBABLY JUST ME#air's antics#I prefer powerful voices....#or very unique voices#Like breathy/jazzy/bluesy I think?#I mean this is femme voices specifically LOL#masc voices I like it when there's more grit/growl in the tones or when they can hit those high notes#I love accents in voices either way!!!#Which is what attracts me to bands like Chase Atlantic#Or like rappers in general like T-Pain there's just a unique lilt to his voice I can't quite explain?#I LOVE Ramsey's voice she has these warbles and that breathiness that itches my brain just right#and for a powerful voice Morgan Clae is just AUGUGGUH#Heidi Montag's voice I like because it's pretty 'unique' and again#there's the hint of an accent there and my brain is like 'MORE OF THAT PLEASE!!!'#anyway most of the women to men songs are all about break ups where there's more emotion and power in the voices#but also I despite music like that ABCDE-F You song#just eugehggeug it's so generic???? TO ME#okay LMAO I'LL STOP RAMBLING IN MY TAGS NOW I'M SORRY
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ me & my husband ]❜
ft. the salesman (gong ji-cheol) x f! reader — squid game
╰₊✧ you don’t need your husband to be perfect, you just want him to be honest┊3.3k words; part two (here)
contains: written before s2 came out!! probably ooc or inaccurate, angst with spots of fluff & a bittersweet ending? reader’s pov mostly, suspicions of cheating, lack of communication, mentioned age gap, random inaccurate lore for the salesman
➤ author's note: yeah, i saw the sudden uptick in notes on that gong yoo post i made and realized season 2 came out which i completely forgot about. i intend to watch it soon as possible and write fics for it as well as (probably) add new characters to my writing list, but for now, please be content with this!!
₊˚ʚ 💌₊˚✧ this fic was heavily inspired by “emotionally intoxicated” by aurasaurora!
gong ji-cheol is the poster image for the ideal husband. he’s always been like that from the moment you met him, and you can’t help but feel like you’re the luckiest woman in the world when he calls himself yours. he’s tall and handsome, someone who catches everyone’s eye despite his only being focused on you. he’s wealthy and hard-working, able to call a luxurious mansion your home, and willing to buy you anything your heart desires as long as you ask for it. he spoils you rotten with that money, gifting you expensive things even if you didn’t ask if it reminded him of you. he’s doting, always sure to smother you in affection with kisses and cuddles whenever together to make it known how much he adores you. the sex is great too, he makes you feel wanted and desirable without ever leaving you unsatisfied.
most importantly though, you love him, and he loves you. the last two years of marriage have been so blissful, and there isn’t a single thing you would change.
at least that’s what you believe most of the time.
you like to think you know a lot about him, and in a way, you do. you know his favorite color, how he likes his coffee, what he usually orders at restaurants, the type of wine he prefers over beer, the exaggerated shocked fasces he likes to make, how his favorite chore is folding the laundry, how his least favorite is doing the dishes because he doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, the name of his childhood pet, what positions he likes to cuddle or fuck in, the names he’s thinking of giving to your child when they are finally born— there are so many little details you know about him, yet at times you feel like you don't know anything at all.
you don’t really know much about his childhood aside from a few random stories, he claims there’s nothing really notable and that it was as standard as can be. you don’t know who his parents were or what they were like because he said they died when he was young, but surely that’s an important loss which must have impacted him and made youth difficult in some way? you don’t know about his past partners if he even had any, but you doubt you were his first as he was yours with a face like his. you don’t know any of his secrets, like an embarrassing moment or something sinful he might have committed in the past.
he knew all of these things about you and the little details of your life, so why don’t you know any of the most basic things regarding your own husband?
these periods of uncertainty are few and far, but once the icy tendrils of doubt creep in, it’s difficult to shake them off when you realize you only know these things through observations and not him actually telling you. it’s a miracle your stupidity allowed you to make it this far in falling head over heels for him, getting married, and carrying his child (not that you completely regret it, you still love him, but you wish you had given it more time).
they say there are no such things as stupid questions, yet the main question you have is exactly that as it’s something every wife should know even before the marriage. it would be impressive how long you’ve been clueless about this matter if it weren’t for how often and how skilled he is in managing to evade your curiosity and steer the conversation elsewhere. you didn’t want to press on it since he seems to shut it down every time the topic is brought up and you don’t want to fight over something you technically didn’t need to know, but it weighs on you and presses into your chest with the knowledge you were being kept in the dark.
what did your husband do for a living, exactly?
his schedule is always unpredictably changing with little rhyme or reason and it confuses you. sometimes you’ll go an entire few days without seeing him, sensing him wake up in the morning before the sun is even up, feeling him kiss you on the cheek before getting ready, and not coming back until long after you fall asleep with no communication aside from a note on the table telling you he’ll be gone for the day along with a wad of cash for you to treat yourself while he’s gone. other times he’ll be chilling at home for an entire week, waking you up with aggressive cuddles (or morning sex), making you breakfast with the morning news on in the background, and taking you out to wherever you want to go on his card in his rare casual clothing and messy wavy hair rather than the typical fancy suits and hair styled with gel.
as far as you’re concerned, he’s a businessman of sorts, although you don’t know what company he works for or what position he has in terms of hierarchy or how an occupation of that type allows such flexibility in hours or anything at all.
“what if he’s having an affair?”
you paused for a second before continuing the motion of slicing the cheesecake with a fork and savoring the taste in your mouth. “that’s ridiculous,” you stated simply after swallowing. “he loves me very much, and it doesn’t explain his weird schedule either.”
today was spent with some friends you met back in high school, but honestly, you were only attending out of politeness and tradition since you honestly feel like you’ve disconnected from these girls long before the current. still, you treasure the memories shared in your more formative years and wouldn’t ever say no to them if they wanted to hang out like old times. ji-cheol doesn’t bother to hide his distaste for them, calling them a miserable lot who try to drag you down at every opportunity out of jealousy for your happiness. you laugh it off, but you know deep down he’s right and yet you’re still sitting here at the cafe with them with bright smiles like their words don’t cut deep.
“maybe he’s dating the boss— a sexy office siren type— she gives him plenty of days off and he stays with her at her beach house at jeju island or something to keep her company, and then she gives him lots of money in exchange.”
“oh my god, could you imagine?”
“can you be realistic? it sounds like you’re just writing a plot for a new drama,” you giggled, not allowing the feeling of a twisting blade in your abdomen to show on your face or the venom to drip from your words at the mere thought of the man you loved being stolen away a faceless woman who was everything you wished you were more of: more beautiful, more wealthy, more experienced, more intelligent—
“you don’t know because he’s your first love or whatever— and you’re so lucky to have been able to marry him— but men are dogs, and i don’t see why he would be the exception.”
“but he treats me so well—”
“maybe he only treats you well because you’re pregnant— he probably just feels guilty. i mean, when i was pregnant and had my first, my husband wasn’t attracted to me anymore and demanded a divorce unless i lost the baby weight.” she shrugged like it was so simple, so common, like the notion of marriage wasn’t something so deeply important and could be thrown away so easily.
“we aren’t suggesting you get a divorce, but we’re just saying you should keep an eye on him— you know? a handsome guy like him was always bound to get a lot of attention…” her laugh was shrill and high-pitched, making goosebumps erupt on your skin.
“right… thanks guys…”
that night, you couldn’t stop twisting and turning on the large sectional couch with thoughts rushing through your head of your husband with some other woman. the jealousy from these fictional scenarios without evidence of existence plagued you. it made you want to vomit up the negative feelings and go back to the person you were a few hours ago without the images of him cheating planted in your mind, which didn’t go unnoticed by him and caused him to ask what was bothering you as it wouldn't be good for the baby.
you hesitated for a moment, “could you tell me about your exes?”
“why are you suddenly curious about that?” he chuckled, knowing damn well that it was because of those stupid snakes masquerading as people (it truly takes one to know one) running their mouths again, but still feigning obliviousness for your sake.
“just wondering,” you muttered. “i mean, you’re the first person i’ve fallen in love with, but you’re a bit older than me so…”
“and i hope to be the only one too,” he smirked confidently, making you laugh as he plopped down on the ground and rested his head on the cushion next to yours.
it was such a casual setting in such a vast space, bringing you back to the days in your little apartment inviting him over for chicken and beer before you knew about your immense wealth and got embarrassed over your cheap dates when he was so used to expensive restaurants. he found it very endearing though, knowing you liked him for him and not his money.
“well, if you’re so curious…” he trailed off, but you weren’t quite sure if it was because of hesitation or because he simply didn’t know where to start. you can’t remember the last time a conversation like this was held to learn more about him since it was usually about you, maybe back when you first started dating and briefly discussed his late parents.
he started with his crush when he was in middle school since that was his earliest recollection of feeling love, who didn’t really count as a girlfriend or love because nothing was established and because of their age, but she was his first kiss that he ran away from right after because of how nervous he was, and it was never addressed again. apparently it was his second girlfriend who taught him everything he knew before he met you, saying she basically “trained him like a dog” to create a gentleman out of an inexperienced boy who still wasn’t quite sure how to treat a woman like a queen. she was a bit mean though, and he didn’t realize he dodged a bullet until later after realizing she was unnecessarily cruel to him for no reason multiple times if he didn’t do things exactly her way.
you suppose you always knew your husband wasn’t always the suave charmer you know him to be, but the image of younger him being clueless on matters of romance made you burst out laughing because of how you could hardly picture it.
he reached over to pinch your cheek affectionately, “are you of all people really making fun of me when you were too scared to hold my hand for me to escort you out of my car?”
“oh my god, that was on our first date, i can’t be blamed! i was shaking like crazy on that day— you had to tell me that you didn’t bite.”
“i was actually thinking about calling off our date last minute because of an emergency at work,” he confessed, “but i’m glad i didn’t and met the love of my life instead.”
“aw, you flirt.” the memory made you smile and feel all giggly inside, all the fears you had about him possibly having an affair falling away, yet there were still some lingering at the back of your mind with the mention of his job. “what happened at work?”
“nothing that important,” he said instantly like clockwork. “just some boring business things.”
you didn’t push it, not wanting to ruin the mood, but once again, your curiosity was just itching to ask more questions about his work life even if it was truly as boring as he says. you wanted to know every mundane detail whether it was what his office looked like or what the annoying co-worker did on a daily basis, anything to satiate your need to know more about this mysterious man you had made life-long vows with.
it all came to a head one night while you were cooking dinner, you heard the doorbell ring a dozen times in quick succession and answered it to find an older man with fiery red hair that seemed to match his temper. when he addressed your husband by name and verified your relationship with him, he began spewing all kinds of insults about the blood he had on his hands by luring innocent people to their deaths and you felt your heart drop. you tried to reason with him that there must have been some sort of mistake, barely able to get your words out in a fit of confusion and surprise at the absurd accusation, but he wouldn’t hear you out and pointed a finger in your face, asking if you had any idea what gong ji-cheol was doing behind your back.
at that very moment, he was suddenly seized by two anonymous men in all black, causing him to yell out in panic as they dragged him away and stuffed him in the back of a car before quickly driving off into the night without a trace. it all happened so fast, you just stood there with your mouth open in shock, wondering if you should call the police on what looked like an abduction.
then your husband comes running up the steps with his locked briefcase in hand, shouting out your name, asking you if you’re okay, pulling you back inside the comfort of your shared home, and checking you all over to make sure you aren’t harmed in any way. when you ask about who that man was and what he was talking about, he simply told you he was some crazy customer who was dissatisfied with the company, was looking for someone to blame, and promised to tell you the details later.
you didn’t tell him that you didn’t believe him, just pursed your lips and furrowed your brow for a second then let go of the topic like you always do, taking his coat off his shoulders with a peck on the lips asking how his day was. he reciprocated the kiss, said it was fine without anything special, and that he would shower before having dinner, something he didn’t really need to say since you already knew but stated anyway as per evening routine.
as he headed up the stairs and disappeared from sight, you stared at the locked briefcase resting crookedly on the little entryway table and paused for a moment. if you did this, it would be a breach of privacy and a sign of growing distrust in your husband, but it could also answer all of the questions that never cease.
your hands wouldn’t stop shaking involuntarily as you felt the cold black metal underneath your fingertips, marveling at the smooth material clean of any scratches or dents. fidgeting with the built-in combination lock, six number sequences started rushing through your mind as you started to hastily run through your options with a focus on dates. you were determined to only do this three times since you had no idea if an alarm would be set off or if it would close off permanently.
his birthday?
an electronic beep went off indicating you were incorrect, making you nervous.
your birthday?
wrong again, you only had one attempt left. you swallowed, shaking the accumulating sweat off your hands.
the date of your wedding?
you gasped as the locks suddenly flipped open and lightly knocked against the briefcase. it was undone, you could open it at any moment now and see it all.
and yet you still hesitated during this golden opportunity. was it the fact that the passcode to his most secret possession was the day you got married? was it guilt for going behind your husband’s back for answers instead of directly asking him? was it because you were afraid of what you would find if you discovered the red-haired man was telling the truth?
whatever it was, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and locked it again, leaving it looking untouched and went back to playing dinner.
there was a heavy tension present at the dinner table that night, the only conversation present being him interrogating you about what the red-haired man talked about word-for-word. not really interrogating since his tone of voice was still calm and gentle as he asked questions, but you could see him fidgeting with his fork and not leaving much room for any other topic until he was sure you told him everything. he then sighed and claimed the man was insane, a gambling addict who was too deep in debt to afford treatment and was trying to drag him into his misery after meeting at the subway station.
“ji-cheol?”
he froze for a second, not used to hearing you use his real name rather than a pet name. “yes?”
“what do you do for a living, exactly?”
a pause, you watched him fidget with his chopsticks and shift the grains of rice around. “you know, business stuff— nothing you need to concern yourself about—“
“but i don’t know! that’s the thing!” you felt tears starting to well up behind your eyes, letting two years of frustration trickle through. “i know it doesn’t seem that important for me to know, but is it really so important that you leave me in the dark about it for the three years we’ve been lovers? and now some guy comes to our doorstep and tells me about how your job is playing games with people at the subway station to make them participate in death games?!” you took a deep breath, calming yourself down, “please, be honest with me, that’s all i want…”
“i-i…” that was the first time you’ve ever heard him stutter, and if the situation wasn’t so tense, you would be proud you finally got one-up on him. “i can’t say… it’s for your own safety and mine.”
“so he was right?”
he remained silent, trying to think of some way to counter what seong gi-hun had told you, but if you didn’t believe the elaborate lie he already told you and wanted to learn more, then he knew this was the end of the road.
“i-i need some time to think…” you looked defeated and it broke his heart. “i’m going to my mom’s house tonight, i’ll be back tomorrow—“ you got up, not bothering to pack anything aside from your phone and your wallet.
he had prepared for you to start screaming and crying (not that he would blame you, i mean, who would willingly stay with a man who was complicit in mass murder), demanding a divorce and packing your things to shut the door for him never to be seen again with your unborn child. the strangely calm reaction was both a relief and extremely unsettling to him.
“i won’t be mad if you decide not to come back” he stated plainly, defeated in a state you’ve never seen him in before. “whatever choice you make, i’ll support you, just know i love you— more than anything else in this world.”
you stared at him blankly through the open doorway. perhaps your husband isn’t the perfect man you believed him to be, but he was as honest as he possibly could have been with you regarding the matter, and that’s enough.
“i love you too, i’ll be back in the morning.” that’s how you feel at the moment, but you don’t know if you’ll feel the same way tomorrow morning when it sinks in.

#📜. her works#the salesman#the salesman x reader#gong yoo#gong yoo x reader#squid game#squid game x reader
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Hello tumblr I am in need of the biggest cry of my life so if SB knows any kind of fanfic that's friends to lovers where one of them dies in the end plus tell me I can't handle.
#please i really need to cry really good for once after i just got sick so let me have this interwebs#fanfic#friends to lovers#major character death#preferably mxm cause I'm a little gay bean#j don't care about spelling just plot#i want to cry#help me my guys girl and squirrels#(yes i stole that from Danny Motta)#ao3#wattpad#fanfic.net#(if needed i don't care where just send me a link ig or put it in the notes)
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✮ sylus x wife!reader
contents: fluff, suggestive. arranged marriage au. hints of slow burn. you like playing hard to get and he loves calling you his wife. 1.4k wc.
꒰ note ᰔ I had to deposit my messy thoughts somewhere and this headcanon post was the result.
part two here. ꒱
⭒ Arranged marriage with Sylus where he prefers to call it a “strategic partnership” as a means of appearances to flaunt that he has it all—an empire, riches, strength, influence and now a darling wife who waits for him at home. You’re not so much as a random choice, Sylus had been watching you from afar for a while and in exchange for his protection in the N109 zone he strikes a deal with you to play a simple role. You have every reason to be wary of him and know to keep your wits about yourself, but even you acknowledge that your chances are better with him. Though, if you asked him how he was so certain you’d agree to his proposal he’d admit that he wasn’t but he knew you’d consider it if he had an advantage over you.
⭒ He sets his terms and conditions—you reside in his humble abode, wedding ring always worn on your finger, and attend events with him as a pretty accessory on his arm to contribute to his image. But he’ll never admit that he actually enjoys your company at business functions that often feel dull to him. You are more than welcome to spend your days as you please so long you don’t cause him trouble, and that also means you have his black card privileges to spoil yourself rotten. Of course, he accommodates most requests you may have like sleeping in separate rooms if that’s what you wish (and redecorating because his furnishing decisions are quite bleak).
⭒ Luke and Kieran can sense that their boss feels something for you despite his nonchalance toward this little arrangement. It starts off small, it always does—Sylus takes note of your morning and night routine, your picky eating habits and has the chef make adjustments to your preference, how he sees you out in the gardens and come back with spring tulips to brighten the space and the next week he already replaced the slowly withering flowers with fresh ones. The twins whisper among themselves that he’s often less annoyed and irritated when you’re around, and their boss wouldn’t go through the trouble of being considerate unless he cares for you. It’s almost exciting for them both to witness a budding romance unfold before their very eyes and they do offer a helping hand here and there to keep things interesting.
⭒ Sylus thinks it’s adorable how you keep trying to resist him and that’s precisely the reason he loves seeking you out just to watch your resolve crumble under his touch. He finds you in the kitchen preparing a snack and cages you from behind with his hands planted on either side of you against the counter. “Hey kitten, I thought I’d find you in here.” You feel his hot breath down your neck as he pushes your hair aside just enough to lay a soft kiss on your shoulder. He chuckles when you comment that he’s being awfully touchy with you, and he purposely moves closer so that his chest is pressing against your back. “Perhaps I just can’t keep my hands to myself where you’re involved. Besides, you’re my wife now. I think I have the right to touch you whenever I like.”
⭒ You remind him that you’re his wife in title only, but that doesn’t discourage his flirtation and teasing as he allows you to nudge past him. He follows you into the common area and takes a seat on the couch, spreading his legs wide and taking up a lot of space. His gaze is settled on you as he pats his thigh and his lips curl into a smirk. “Come here, wife.” You naturally scoff meanwhile you place the plate of seasonal fruits on the side table and situate yourself closest to the armrest, taking a bite into a juicy red strawberry as you ignore his piercing stare.
⭒ For someone who always gets what he wants, Sylus isn’t used to being defied like this. And had it been anyone else his patience would wear dangerously thin, but he supposes that you’re a special exception because he seems to enjoy the chase and claiming its reward. With one small gesture, he drags you across the couch by a gravitational pull and you squeal when the swirling red easily turn and maneuver you so you’re forced to straddle him and your hands prop on his shoulders for support. “There, much better. Comfy? This is the best seat in the house.” His gaze locks with yours, and he thinks you huffing and frowning at him is simply cute. He firmly grabs your wrist with the bitten strawberry in your hand and lifts it to his mouth for a sweet taste.
⭒ “No fair… using your Evol against me like this.” You grumble under your breath as you gently trail your thumb from his chin to the corner of his mouth where the strawberry juices began to spill. Then an impulsive thought takes over and you pinch his cheek between your fingers, creating a sticky mess on his face. “I hope you’re enjoying yourself. That’s for treating me like a sack of potatoes.” He chuckles once more, his hand falling on your hip and he gives you a light squeeze. “Oh, I do have every intention of fully enjoying my wife tonight.” And by that, he means taking you out for a joyride on his motorbike and feeling your arms wrapped around him tightly as the engine roars through the streets under the night sky and sinking moon. Sylus would never engage in any intimate acts you weren’t ready for, but he loves seeing you fluster at his suggestive remarks.
⭒ As the weeks cross over into months, you never imagined that you’d be spending so much time with Sylus outside of your agreed terms. He’s everywhere in every waking moment of your life even when he’s not there physically. You’re learning new things about him each day and you (begrudgingly) like being around him—even when he can sometimes be a playful bully toward you. When he’s gone for long stretches of time to deal with negotiations and other important matters in the N109 zone, you can feel your heart yearning for him but you’d never say that you miss him out loud when you think he's still toying with you. But with the way he cares for you like you’re both in a real and genuine relationship, it’s hard to know his true intentions and keep your feelings buried deep inside your chest for long.
⭒ You accidentally confirm that Sylus does harbor romantic feelings for you when you carelessly bring up your replacement in a lighthearted joke. You’ve never seen his face falter so quickly at your words as he averts his gaze for a moment to collect himself—a hint of vulnerability in his crimson hues. “I wouldn’t have found a new wife.” He shakes his head and tells you, his voice a little rougher than before. You don’t know what to say, but you manage a soft “No?” that reaches his ears. “No. I wouldn’t have been able to replace you, kitten. You’re it for me. The only one. No one could fill the void you’d leave behind.”
⭒ You and Sylus have kissed before, but this is the first time you’re initiating it. As you brush your lips against his, there’s a softness you never noticed. His hand slips around the small of your back and he pulls you close against him, returning your kiss with the same tenderness as though savoring the taste of you. You lean back after a moment, your palm meeting his cheek in a sweet embrace. “You know, I'm still getting used to the idea that I’ve fallen for you.” You can see him returning back to normal when he offers you a cocky smirk. “And yet here you are. In my arms, with your lips on mine. I think you’re not being entirely honest, my beautiful wife.” Sylus has waited a long time to hear those words from you but you don’t need to know that right now.
#ᨳ ₊˚ 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐩.𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬#sylus#sylus x reader#l&ds x reader#love and deepspace x reader#sylus love and deepspace#lnds sylus#sylus lnd#sylus l&ds#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#love and deepspace
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if we don't get a thracia remake in tomorrows direct i am going to explode into a million pieces.
edit: *explodes*
Decent direct but honestly I'm just disappointed they didn't announce the thing i wanted specifically. My fault for getting excited about something with no basis I guess... I just really wanted it to be real orz.
#i'll take fe4 or fe5. i'd prefer 5 but 4 is more reasonable#side note. i have been spelling it tharcia for. literally. months. years even. it's in the name of the game how did i manage that#anyway. as i keep telling my brother every direct if engage* had to be real the remake needs to real as well. i deserve it#please... give me fire emblem echoes shadows of thracia. please make Reinhardt even tangentially relevant again#i want to lose all my money on Rein fanmerch i'm sick of having to do everything myself around here#(*obligatory i didn't hate engage disclaimer. it was fine it just didn't spark the creative verve i was hoping for)#aside from that theres nothing i'm really hoping for. i'm open to getting excited about whatever they end up announcing -w-)b#snow blogging
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