#but I do actually love the idea behind it; the melding of sci fi and fantasy/the corporation stealing ideas/having to save their stories

[slimeandsadness]

.

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 28: 3x05 Is There In Truth No Beauty?

Several days later, coming back to write up these Star Trek notes. I feel like I never got to talk this episode through properly, or even think through it properly by myself, because mom went right into watching AHS on Thursday, and I was too tired to even sort through my thoughts and when we talked yesterday, it was… entirely about other things.

So, here at least are my liveblog thoughts, and maybe I’ll remember some more as I write.

Right off the bat, this is such a cool concept: the friendly alien Ambassador who no one can look at because his form is not fit for human eyes.

Love Spock’s silly looking little visor. Not sure I get why he’s wearing it right now, when the Ambassador is in his box, but okay.

Dr. Jones is so beautiful. I love her dress.

I’m sure Spock is thinking “If only all Ambassadors could be put into little boxes like this.”

Okay, Ambassador’s coming! Everybody quarantine!

Right, I JUST remembered the significance of the dress.

Spock has experience with mind links with other creatures—a lot of experience that ho. Is he thinking about the pleasure of connecting to Kirk, that “dynamic individual”?

“My life is here.” With the Captain???

I feel like this episode is implying, all but stating outright, that Spock is very good at mindlinking. Like maybe even more so than the average Vulcan. Which makes sense because he does it so often. And yet he still messes up with AOS!Kirk.

I love the effects for the Ambassador. I’m not even being sarcastic; I think they get across the experience of looking at him quite effectively.

Hmmm, some non-touch telepathy. I know Spock has a little of that. I guess it’s mostly him reacting to Miranda, though.

Gotta get a dig in at Dr. McCoy before he leaves lol. Spock, so predictable.

Kirk’s flirting is off the charts today omg. Tone it down man.

SCOTTY IN A KILT aw yeah.

She learned from the Vulcans how not to read thoughts. Exactly!! Their telepathy is such an underrated part of the whole Vulcan thing, including why they remain ‘emotionless.’

She’s so jealous of Spock.

Honestly this whole scene… there’s a lot going on here! I’m trying to pay attention to the Vulcan telepath stuff but the men won’t stop flirting at 11. Especially McCoy, laying it on extra thick.

She does hold her own very well, though.

A preference for beauty—one of our last prejudices.

“Sleep well.” So cute. (I’ve already forgotten but I’m pretty sure this is Kirk.)

“We’re all vulnerable in one way or another.” KIRK SHUT UP I LOVE YOU.

Girls don’t like guys, girls like Medusan ambassadors.

This guy is so jealous. I barely know who he is lol; this comes out of nowhere.

Interesting angle on the hallway shot. I feel like there are a lot of those in this ep, like these weirdly long shots of the hallways… Maybe I’m just not used to seeing them with one or no people in them.

Kirk and the squad. Work work fashion baby.

“Larry? Marvick? Why?” Okay that is some real Shatnerian inflection there.

SCOTTY FIGHT SCENE.

*Ship veers obviously*

And look at this weird-ass view of the bridge. Like what the hell, where is the camera? On the lift? It’s so disorienting!

Spock needs to fix some stuff, calls for his protégé Chekov, of course.

And this funky music. So bizarre.

WE’LL BE SAFE AT THE BOUNADIRES OF THE UNIVERSE. Drama queen

This is a nutty view, this “unknown void.” Like one would think beyond space there’s… just more space, not a Windows 98 screensaver.

Space time continuum?? They didn’t time travel (again), did they?

“He just simply died.” How convenient.

“An entertaining suggestion, Mr. Chekov, but not very helpful.” Honestly, I do think he’s entertained. Spock has grown so much over the course of the show.. like I know there was controversy with his IC-ness this season but in this case, I really do think it is growth. Compare this to the Corbomite Maneuver, where he had a sense of humor but it was… a little mean, a little arch. There’s a certain warmth to him now.

Her mind must be so engaged that she doesn’t notice the plan for Spock to meld with the Ambassador = Kirk will seduce her. Lol. Of course. Everyone’s favorite honeypot.

He has absolutely NO shame.

The man sure does love his flowers, though.

She’s never been to Earth. So she’s a human born on a colony, I guess? That’s such a throwaway line, but so interesting. Could that be part of how she’s telepathic?

Oh no! A thorn!

“Violent emotion is a kind of insanity.” Can I steal this?

Too ugly to bear or too beautiful to bear?

Let me spell it out for you: this is romantic. (Again, I’ve forgotten what this refers to, but I’m going to assume it’s something Kirk said.)

Lol Bones just dropping truth bombs. How did he know she was blind? Did he recognize the dress or does he have access to her files as the ship’s doctor?

And Kirk accepts it immediately. “Of course! It’s the only reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t attracted to me.”

The Ambassador is brought to the bridge and placed behind a covid wall, I mean, protective barrier.

And now, we meet the Ambassador for real.

“THAT’s Spock!” Bones is so happy. He’s really not comfortable with Spock being all… smiley and flirty. Or rather, someone in Spock’s body, I should say.

Kollos is VERY flirty. And he and Miranda have chemistry for sure. It’s weird, because I don’t get any sense of that between her and Spock (rightly so) but Spock as the Ambassador and it comes right out.

I love the characterization of him. The idea that the Medusans’ thoughts are supposed to be particularly nice to engage with…. I really see how that would be. He’s so soothing.

Kollos is enjoying his time in a human body, I think. Mostly. Not all of it. (I got a little teary at the part about loneliness, ngl.)

Time to go back? So soon?

Noooo the shield! It’s like forgetting your mask when you enter a building.

[Spock wails]

Honestly, even seeing the steps to the upper level of the bridge is really weir. Like, I’ve always known there are steps there… but I’ve never thought about what they look like.

Kirk is so skeptical about all of this. Spock is in danger and his brain immediately goes to the pessimistic scenarios—very unlike him!

He’s freaking out nervous.

“Are we supposed to wake him with a kiss?” Idk, it’s worth a try. Why doesn’t Kirk give it a go?

Does Kirk have a game plan with Miranda here, or is he just honestly freaking out?

…The answer is honestly freaking out, which is rather a disappointment.

Trippy.

Spock has a necklace version of the IDIC symbol this time.

Everyone’s exchanging all these highly formulaic, formal goodbyes and Kirk’s like “Peace.” Wow, really trying hard with that one. Still rattled, I guess.

Also speaking of these formulaic exchanges—this fits very well with the HAICG-verse. Just saying.

This episode was really good! I loved Miranda, I am a huge fan of the underlying sci fi concept, and I though the Spock characterization and the hints of Vulcan culture were very interesting (and very in keeping with my own characterization and world building, imo).

The only thing I didn’t like was Kirk’s characterization. He felt like a stereotype, like who AOS thought TOS Kirk was, rather than himself—the over the top flirting, the dramatic rage, how he didn’t really seem in control of anything or on his game at all.

But, even though he’s my fave, the interesting Spock characterization made up for that, and I really appreciated these insights into him, interacting with someone who, while not Vulcan herself, had a Vulcan cultural background, someone he approached similarly to how he would one of his own people. It was very polite but with a lot of unsaid beneath the surface, which is how I imagine Vulcans are.

The introduction of IDIC truly was pretty random! I did like the idea of Spock trying to compliment her and not really landing it, because that’s just the awkward nerd sort of thing he would do. But it’s weird that the phrase has never been introduced before, and also that even within this episode, it’s only obliquely explained.

I’m not actually sure if I’ve seen the next ep or not. I don’t think so, but it’s possible I did and just don’t remember it very well…

[starlitesymphony]

Writing Influences Tag

I was tagged by two stellar writers, @lady-redshield-writes and @westywrites, thank you!!

Rules: Give a short summary of your WIP, name seven sources of influence on your story, and tag seven people.

My WIP, Ark of the Timelost -

Quin was conscripted by a secret military organization as a child and implanted with a rare armor seed. She can now shapeshift, wriggle through tiny openings, is practically indestructible, and has a bunch of other (pretty cool) abilities. Her mentor, Maddox, is training her to become one of the empire’s operatives, like him. When her mom is kidnapped from her homeworld, they team up with Maddox’s estranged..friend?..and set out to find her, and to discover the truth behind their role in their ‘perfectly engineered’ society.

Influences:

- Banner of Souls by Liz Williams (sci-fi novel) - I’ve reread this so many times my copy is in shambles. It’s set in a bizarre and dark distant future where men died out eons ago and tech is powered by ghosts. It’s about a Martian warrior sent to Earth to protect a young girl who’s been genetically engineered to shift through time. The book’s not perfect but the worldbuilding OMG!! Eldritch sci-fi! (The sequel, Winterstrike, is even weirder.)

- Crescent City Rhapsody by Kathleen Ann Goonan (sci-fi novel) - Kind of a jazz themed, post-blackout nanotech revolution with a bunch of POVs and a very meandering storyline. This one opened my eyes to the possibilities of nanotechnology and how far you can take it as a writer. The blending, melding, and blurring of nature and nanotech has been a big part of my worldbuilding ever since.

- Ammonite by Nicola Griffith (sci-fi novel) - a planet where all the men were killed by a virus, and an anthropologist arrives to figure out how the natives continue to reproduce. I first read this one when I was trying to decide how people in my own WIP reproduce. Just that one piece of worldbuilding has such massive bearing on what cultures and societies would be like. This book has some stellar examples.

- Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (sci-fi novel) - told from the first-person POV of an intelligent starship. I enjoyed the POV so much that I went back to writing 1st person myself after YEARS of close 3rd. Plus, this is one of the most downright dystopian books I’ve read in a long time, but it’s a constant buzz in the background, so ingrained and accepted in the culture, just thought of as normal…I try to emulate this, too.

- Physics of the Impossible by Michio Kaku (science nonfic) - An idea gold mine, basically. He speculates on how teleportation and so on could be possible and what such technology would actually be like. His other books are great as well. I especially like his take on artificial intelligence.

- Klayton/Celldweller/Scandroid (music) - I do intend to put him in the acknowledgments, lol. I discovered him at an especially low point when I’d given up writing and pretty much everything else. Space battle bangers, romantic jams, slightly cheesy lyrics about robots and neon lights…idk it just inspires me, haha. Reminds me to focus on what’s cool and stop being all self-conscious about what I love.

- When I was growing up, I was really close to my neighbors, an older lesbian couple who had a dragon’s hoard of books. They introduced me to all kinds of literature from Sylvia Plath to Dune. I am grateful to them every day <3

I’ll tag @acfawkes, @writing-on-a-star, @anjareed, @ally-thorne, @toboldlywrite, @morriganwrites-0124 Only if you’d like to do it, no pressure here! (And please let me know if you’d rather not be tagged, it’s cool.) Hope your projects are going well!

[theklancecollection]

Hi do you know of any fics where either Keith or Lance are trans boys?

Hey there Anon!

These fics are in the collection, and ones that I have read myself:

Trans!Lance:

In English, Please - Anonymous

Word Count: 4, 943

Summary: Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

Trans!Keith:

We’re Still Good - Qpenguin98

Word Count: 1, 913

Summary: He can feel Lance’s heartbeat, warm through the leather of his gloves.

It’s very quiet, for once Lance has nothing to say.

Below the cut are 41 fics that have been categorized into trans!keith, trans!lance, and trans!keith & trans!lance. Just so you know I haven’t read them myself, so read them at your own discretion:

Trans!Keith:

This love won't ever be convenient - Lynn1998

Word Count: 78, 078

Summary: *Complicated by Avril Lavigne plays in the distance*

I'll Never Be Her - Zirijava

Word Count: 4, 202

Summary: Kat’s life is amazing. She has wonderful friends, an equally wonderful, but albeit weird, boyfriend Lance and a scholarship to the college of her dreams! But what would Lance say when Kat tells him that his girlfriend is a trans boy?

Or, Kat realizes she’s maybe a boy and suddenly everything he built up comes crashing down. Will his boyfriend be okay with having a boyfriend? Kat doesn’t know yet.

Hell Week - juniperallura

Word Count: 540

Summary: For prompt: "Can you write a story about Trans Boy Keith on his period? And he has cramps but his bf(s) is helping him with it and it's adorable? It doesn't matter who the bf(s) is."

Keith gets cranky on his period, but Lance doesn't care

Girl In Drag - Zirijava

Word Count: 2, 730

Summary: ”You just want to get attention, why else would you start walking around like that?”

I sighed. ”All I ever wanted was to be myself.”

She held up her hands. ”I get that, I do. But if you don’t want the world to know, then why make it so flashy? When people look at you, they don’t see a boy. They see a girl in drag. Why don’t you just do us all a favor and be who you’re supposed to be.”

You're you, that's what matters. - ghostlyghouls

Word Count: 1, 874

Summary:Lance hears Keith crying in his room late at night and decides to find out why.

Valid - CasanovaStrider 

Word Count: 1, 046

Summary: Keith is a boy. He is. Sometimes he just had a hard time believing it himself. Lance is there to help. 

Rattling the Frames, (Getting Inside My Brain) - truflais

Word Count: 748

Summary: But Keith wasnt taking a chance this time. He wasnt about to ruin his only binder on a stupid whim.

No matter how many times he passed, he could still hear the voice in the back of his head.

You're not a real boy.

You're a girl.

You. Are. A. Girl.

what's better than this just guys being dudes - iamnotalizard

Word Count: 2, 205

Summary: in which keith wants to come out to lance, and does so when he feels safe and happy and not pressured 

Burning Out - lumberjackwiki

Word Count: 6, 226

Summary:Keith could barely function as a human before, but now? He wasn't even human so why should he try?

Surprise, I'm a nice guy! - wholesomeklances

Word Count: 1, 363

Summary: 5 times Lance misgendered Keith + 1 time he didn't

aka5 times Lance had no idea Keith was trans + 1 time Keith actually told him

Burned but not buried - Qpengsin98 (Qpenguin98)

Word Count: 1, 495

Summary: So he stands in the men’s section with his head low, trying not to draw attention to himself.

Keith hates shopping.

teeth and all - viscrael

Word Count: 2, 668

Summary: “Do you want to kiss someone?”

Keith almost drops his Bayard.

You're Not Supposed To Care - Qpenguin98

Word Count: 2, 484

Summary: At the time, Keith had thought it was a stellar idea. Make out with the guy you like, no one suspects a thing. 

Keith's Worst Enemy - wholesomeklances

Word Count: 1, 897

Summary: Keith thinks he shouldn't bother Lance with his monthly subscription to The Blood Flow™. Shiro disagrees.

this oneshot revolves around menstruation! there's no description of blood, but if the subject triggers you for any reason, don't read!

I'm coming out of my cage - wholesomeklances

Word Count: 1, 852

Summary: How Keith came out as a trans boy and then as a gay boy. 

Periods Are a Bitch - hogwartsschoolofanime

Word Count: 951

Summary: Keith would take hours of intense fighting over this. Literally, nothing can be worse than the fucking pain in his stomach. At least Lance is there to give him soup and read Harry Potter.

In which Keith has period cramps and Lance is the best boyfriend ever.

Glass Lion Menagerie - Anonymous

Word Count: 13, 865

Summary: Keith was fragile. Keith did not like to feel fragile. 

A Quarter Past Midnight - Gigapoodle

Word Count: 14, 266

Summary: When Keith found himself standing in front of a hulking blue metal lion, of all things, surrounded by a hexagonal shield like it was straight out of a straight-to-DVD sci-fi movie, he simply guffawed. If this was what the higher beings were trying to guide his hand towards, they could shove that hand up their asses.

Bitter Coffees Shouldn't Sweeten the Heart - Lisboa

Word Count: 4, 569

Summary: For Klance Secret Santa 2016 (the original prompt will be added to the notes along with the name of the amazing person who gave me this prompt on December 25th)

And that’s how he found himself groaning against his pillow as it rained cats and dogs outside, his brain running miles an hour as his heart twitched painfully on his chest. He fell for him, and he fell hard. It should not have happened like this, not when Lance – flirty little Lance who was clearly into girls and not into Keith – meant so much to him. Romance would ruin what they had, and Keith would blame himself forever if that happened.

Ten, Eight, Seven - lordbatty

Word Count: 3, 217

Summary: Ten years is a long time to try and return to a normal state of living. To Keith and Lance, being able to settle down with a family makes it easier. 

I think I'm In Lesbians With You - Qpenguin98

Word Count: 2, 028

Summary: He stops laughing. “Wait what?”

“I’ve never seen Scott Pilgrim before?”

“Holy shit you have got to be kidding me. What, did you grow up in a shack?”

Lance’s face pales as Keith deadpans a “Yes.”

Pick me up, Hold me Down - Qpengsin98 (Qpenguin98)

Word Count: 3, 436

Summary: “Keith, please just- we can talk this out, just get out of the water.”

Stop. Breathe.

Where are you?

Take Time to Breathe - orphan_account

Word Count: 7, 645

Summary: Keith's been part of team voltron for a while now, and theoretically, they should all know each other's secrets. But Keith is still in the closet to all but Shiro, and his dysphoria is eating him alive. When he cracks during a mind-meld exercise, Lance makes it his personal mission to reach out to the red paladin. 

If - WildWolf25

Word Count: 15, 857

Summary: If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, (“If” by Rudyard Kipling)

(How Keith and Lance met and what their lives were like before Twelve Nights)

But The Foundation Is Crumbling - Qpenguin98

Word Count: 4,145

Summary: It’s the safest space they can be in together, piled in a car, eating pizza and backwash soda. No one to give them rules, no one to make fun of but themselves, no one to try and tell them all the things wrong with them. 

Tick Tock - Ididntsignupforthisshit (Oliver_Ravenwood)

Word Count: 117, 477

Summary: Keith knew that his luck probably had little to do with Paula the Bobble Head. In fact, he had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with the constantly ticking timer creeping up on his left thumb. A Soul Counter, as most called it. It was a natural phenomenon occurring in humans. In each person intended there was an ever present timer, constantly ticking down until the time where they would find their soulmate. When the timer would reach zero, a second tattoo-like marking would appear on the person’s skin – their Soul Mark. This would appear on the person’s soulmate in much the same place. Each pair’s Soul Mark was unique to just the two of them.

OR: The one where Keith was working and he found his soulmate - who just happened to be his favorite actor, Lance MotherF**king Vasquez.

What Could've Been - FaeOfStars

Word Count: 12, 927

Summary: "I hesitated to type, realizing what his last reply meant. He... liked me? I could feel my face heat up a bit more and I peered through my dark bangs to avoid letting him see the redness of my cheeks. His expression still held a hint of anxiousness, but he now wore a small smile on his face as he stared at me, waiting for me to respond. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, unknowing of what to press. Before my fingers could touch a single key, I saw letters begin to appear on the document. Lance was typing again.

'im sorry I shouldnt have said that'

Finally, my fingers moved.

'No, no. It's fine! I just... I don't know. I didn't expect that.'"

--

Keith was in love with Lance. Lance liked him back. It should have been simple from there, but unfortunately, life doesn't always work out the way it should.

Over My Dead Body! - VinVictory

Word Count: 38, 038

Summary: "Hey, Keith? Are you done yet?" Lance asks from behind the door. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, I'm done changing."

Out of curiosity, Keith looks over his shoulder of how Lance will enter his room. He eyes the door.

"Aaaaannnddd, you're in your boxers." Lance says.

Silence.

Sonovabish went through the door!

*Where Lance is a ghost and Keith is the only one who can hear him! :0Join Keith as he discovers the revelations and the truth behind Lance's death.

Banksy-Ass Wannabe - n00dl3Gal

Word Count: 3, 287

Summary: Lance has done many, MANY stupid things in his 19 years.

But ruining someone else's spray might be the stupidest.

ESPECIALLY if that person is his biggest rival.

(The Graffiti/Street Artist AU that no one asked for, with hints of College AND Coffee Shop AUs, because I'm a giver.)

Trans!Lance

Binder Blues - fairdeath

Word Count: 1, 273

Summary: Lance is tired. Just... tired. Five extra steps to every mission that the others don't follow – bind, cry because it fucking hurts over the blue-black bruises of the last fight, get hit a few times more than necessary, spend 20 minutes catching your breath, ignore the bruises the binder pushes at until the next fight. 

keith's jacket - eyeball

Word Count: 3, 307

Summary: Keith's search for his stolen jacket is set aside when more pressing matters arise. The sobs coming from behind Lance's closed door are a bit more than worrying, so Keith lets himself in. He tries to provide all the support he can, but he can only do so much for the sniveling lump of a boy with tear-filled eyes and a refusal to explain himself. 

throwing shadows - ilgaksu

Word Count: 3, 334

Summary: “Dude,” Lance says, “It’s not my fault he does this!”

“Dude,” Hunk says, and leaves it at that.

Secrets - potato_fan_girl

Word Count: 3, 567

Summary: Only half the team knew.

Contrary to their belief, Lance was actually an expert secret keeper. With a large family like his, he had to know when to keep his mouth shut. So, despite the loud, obnoxious, open persona he displayed for the others, he could also be sneaky.

So, keeping a secret on an unbelievably large castle ship with only six other people on it was easy.

Or at least, it should've been.

(AKA Lance is trans, and because of a really terrible alien, the team finds out.)

Warm Hands - darkinsanity13

Word Count: 4, 279

Summary: Something's rather literally cramping Lance's style. Keith lends him a hand or two. 

Carpe Diems and Chrysanthemums - Gigapoodle

Word Count: 14, 694

Summary: Lance falls unimaginably hard for the biker boy with a black mop of hair and terrible Spanish skills. After years of rivalry, bitter acquaintanceship, and eventual friendship, the realization slaps Lance hard, hard enough to settle into his lungs and sap his life away. It's when he coughs up a petal that Lance realizes just how far gone he is.

Lance McClain decides he is going to die.

A Modern Hanahaki Disease AU.

Trans!Lance and Trans!Keith:

Shades of Purple - candyalpacas

Word Count: 2, 775

Summary: When Lance comes out to the team, he finds out something about Keith he never expected. 

I Refuse to Believe in the Existence of a Universe Where I Don't Love You - wholesomeklances

Word Count: 1, 143

Summary: cute trans boyfriends talk about feelings

Just Hear Those Sleigh Bells Ringing - blumen

Word Count: 1, 752

Summary: “I spent six hours on it and pricked myself at least ten times.”

Keith felt his heart leap to his throat. It was a hideous jumper no doubt but Lance looked so proud that Keith could almost forget-Christ, was that a LED light on the nose? Keith felt like apologizing to both Rudolph and the sanctity of the Christmas spirit.

It's Your Typical, Hardcore Casual Sex - lordbatty

Word Count: 4, 395

Summary: Lance is good. Too good. Too right. Keith is too hurt to admit anything, even to himself. And it was terrifying. 

[zenosanalytic]

Discovery: Lethe II

Ok so, first off, I just want to say that this was Everything I ever wanted Trek to be :|

Intimate, ambiguous, detailed examinations of non-human cultures

POLITICS >:] >:] >:]

diplomacy as heroic and dangerous

A Starfleet and Fed where Feelings and mental health are just as important and valued as strategic or tactical concerns.

relationships and The Personal tied directly to principles, institutions, and larger events

exploring relationships, personalities, ethics, and what it means to be alive in the World through symbolic, fantastical situations

positive, life-affirming, sympathetic, casual sex portrayed without objectification or exploitation

tortuously sympathetic villains

damaged people behaving badly and portrayed with nuance and sympathy

Trauma affecting people, affecting the World through people, and people dealing with Trauma in various ways with various levels of success and healthiness

AMANDA!

Sarek being a bad Dad

Sarek being locked in a glass-case of Emotion

People being called out on their Shit

Science officers being all “Fuck it; let’s get Weird!”

Concise, confident, tight sci-fi writing. For example: the basic idea of the mind-meld-machine is established clearly and crisply, and doesn’t degenerate into technobabble, or rely on magic disguised as tech(quantum! nano! tachyons! etc, etc). Everything clinks together, everything runs smoothly, nothing snags, contradicts, or confuses

This ep really impressed me with how incredibly savvy the crew making this show is, and how much they think about how the fanbase will potentially be reacting when they see the eps. There were moments in previous eps like this, but Lethe is repeatedly fan-conscious, and without ever endangering the 4th wall. The “Disco” sweats can be explained -it’d be easy for NBC to promote “Disco” as the preferred nick in the fandom without seeming to- but the writing for Ash in this ep, and how it interacts with the theory that he’s Voq, is just so obviously aware that people would suspect this.

The rest of this got kinda long, so I’m putting it under the cut.

Catching Ash

When Lorcas says “you fight like a Klingon”, Ash responds not by joking or treating it as a compliment(which you might expect given his ingratiating lie about his kill count), but by trying to explain it away and apologize for it, like he was worried by the comment, and in a way -“Klingon guards beating on me for 7 months, I was bound to pick something up”- that emphasizes his awareness and toughness; calculated to appeal to the sort of person Lorca has shown Ash he is. The things he says to Burnham about loss and death; the potential irony of having him, twice in the episode, emphasize and explain humanness; the way his concern for Burnham conveniently ingratiates him to Lorca(by following his orders over the mission) and builds an emotional bond with someone Lorca obvsl considers an asset; all of these have both innocuous and foreboding interpretations. There are even these little subtle touches to his performance that aren’t entirely out of the realm for a human, but oddly Klingon-aggressive: how he hits the table to emphasize the here-and-now when talking to a stranger; his sarcastic dismissiveness towards Tilly and Burnham’s discussion of her emotions. And then there’s his speech about death, failure, and loss to Burnham, something that could have easily come out of the mouth of a Voq trained to act like a human.

Even the title of the episode can be read as playing into this. Titles so far have been thematic; sometimes even used in the episode themselves. Lethe, of course, is the River of Forgetfulness in Greek Myth, on the shores of which the Dead leave the memories of their former life. But who is “Crossing the Lethe” here? Who is doing the forgetting; who is putting their past life behind them? The ep is about Sarek and Michael’s memories and bond, not the denial or loss of them. The final scene in sickbay establishes that Sarek has not forgotten the Meld which saved him in the nebula anymore than the past which binds him to Michael; he lies to avoid the shame of his betrayal, of facing the harm he’d done to Michael(a person he loves), and all the emotions that act and knowledge dredges up in him(not a terribly Vulcan way to behave, lying to avoid consequences).

The point of Michael’s role in all of this is that she hasn’t forgotten any of it. Nor has Lorca forgotten or placed anything behind; his inability to forget and refusal to heal is the engine of his subplot, of his trauma, and of his villainy, in the ep and in the series as a whole. Lorca’s attachment to the Pain he has Chosen drives him to manipulate a friend, to abandon her to torture and degradation, to push, manipulate, and oppress his crew, and to sleep with a phaser under his pillow at night.

But, if Ash is Voq, all this talk about his humanity and about what is is to be human, is a rejection of his Klingonness; a kind of forgetting. It is the final step in a deliberate, decisive setting aside of his past life for the sake of his mission to save and unify the Klingons under T’Kumva’s philosophy. And there’s another aspect to Lethe, too, which could potentially play into this; lethe also means “concealment”, and is the negated element within the Greek word for truth, alethia(lit. “unconcealment, unoblivion, unforgetfulness”). Lorca and Sarek are both concealing and dishonest in this episode but, if Ash is Voq the Torchbearer, it would also apply to him as well. It’s a very nice meta-element to the ep, a kind of non-subplot-subplot, and their deliberate cultivation of it shows an awareness of and desire to engage with the fandom which I appreciate.

Ok, so WOW; that’s a lot of text!, but I’m not done yet.

Our Faces, Our Selves

This ep had some truly great Tilly moments. The gesture she does when she says “personality” was Endearing and characterizing as Hell. Whether it was written in or if Wiseman added it herself, it’s a wonderful example of the non-aggressive physicality her performance has displayed so far. Also -though technically a Burnham moment as well- the contrast between her natural stride and the precise form Michael runs in was both Fun and Great. “Computer, green Juice, extra Green”; Perfect u_u “*whispered* computeraddsalsa... Ohmygod you are so scary!” Magnificent u_u u_u “Oh Kaaay >:|... He actually is, though.” Majestic u_u u_u u_u

The intent to make Cadet Tilly the “Emotional Heart” of the show is extremely obvious, but it actually works because of just how well executed in basically every respect(even something as small as allowing her face to be blotchy and blemished invites audience attachment) it is. And because her personality is basically that of a puppy-dog, and puppies aren’t terribly subtle either, the obvs intent doesn’t grind up against her characterization, or Wiseman’s performance. Her humor is effortless, natural, youthful, and casually disarming. The interlocking web of support between her and Burnham -Burnham teaching her the discipline of excellence and pushing her to pursue it; Tilly engaging her emotionally, sometimes even pushing, without being disrespectful- is convincing, earned through time and interaction, and endearing. That she is simultaneously in awe and protective of Burnham, yet cognizant enough of her weaknesses, and at ease/trusted enough with her, to prompt socialization when she balks out of anxiety, awkwardness, and shame, is entirely believable. And her FACE! The ways Wiseman uses her face, the subtle little things she does, in this episode are just... So Wonderful. I kinda feel like going back over the previous eps just to see if I missed similar work in them.

Frain’s face work as Sarek in this ep is equally impressive. We see more of it in the third contact, but for some reason it’s the stuff in the second contact that stood out most to me. At that point it hasn’t yet been made explicit that Burnham has an incomplete understanding of the event and Sarek’s reactions to it but here -in the minor hesitation and stony, unnatural setting of his jaw and torso as he too slowly turns away from the director; his blinking look and respectful nod to Michael; the blink-and-you-miss-it shaking of his jaw and lips; his emotion-controlling intake of breath before he breaks the bad news; his gulp and the tension in his eyes as he looks at Amanda, the pleading tone as he offers his dishonest explanation; the sorrow on his face and shameful lowering of his head as Burnham asks to leave- we see the first signs that things aren’t as they appear.

And then the third contact. In the initial struggle with Burnham his eyes are particularly important, though the angle obscures them somewhat so this is mostly done through blinking. When she asks “is it worth dying over” there is a flash of stubbornness -he opens his eyes wider, raises his head to look at her straight- followed immediately by a lowering blink and assessing rove of his eyes over her face. As she says “let me in” he blinks and looks down, considering. As he says “I never lost faith in you” he rapidly blinks two or three times, then squints. Finally there’s this little tongue-flick he does on “I will show you”, a mannerism usually associated with consideration or nervousness, that just really stood out and sold his discomfort to me.

Then his talk with the director! When Frain says “Acceptance with honors is her due” there is this wonderful chain of expressions, starting with a raise of the eyes and forehead on “Acceptance” and ending with a slight clench and drawing back, then jutting of the jaw on “due” that just screams pride, assurance, and arrogance. Sarek knew that, by the logical terms of Vulcan society, Burnham had more than earned her place. Then the blinking drawing back of his head at encountering the Director’s racism; his contained, hidden affront at not just the personal insult to his child, and thus to himself, but at the illogic of the Director’s bigotry, yet obviously too common and accepted to challenge publicly if he can voice it so openly to someone of such high social rank. So Sarek dodges the subject; moves it back away from race and the personal onto ideological grounds, hoping to turn the situation around by trapping the Director in the essential contradictions of his position while subtly seeking to defuse his anti-human bias by dehumanizing Burnham via discussing her as a work rather than a person. His face conveys this too; he turns and dips very slightly it to the left, looking partially side-eyed and from under his brow at the Director, conveying cleverness but also a self-satisfaction, as if he’s looking both at the Director, and above him at his vision of wedding Human and Vulcan cultures. The Director out-maneuvers him by turning his argument around; bringing Spock into the discussion. At “Twice” Frain snaps his head up, as if struck. Questioning Spock’s relevance his head shakes, his eyes tighten. At “Non-Vulcan” Frain gives an almost relieved negation, shaking his head, closing his eyes with brows angled down, saying “Spock is” only to be cut off by “Half-Vulcan”. Then the deepest cut; the Director, smirking, goes on to call Spock “another one of your Experiments”, not only insulting him by dehumanizing his children, but also through sarcastic irony; the Director’s tone and face expresses a suspicion Sarek is emotionally attached to them, thus his statements are also mocking these “unVulcan” feelings Sarek might have for them. And then Frain’s wiggle of the lips and blank eyes at “not-quite-Vulcans” just... DAMN!

Ok that bit was... also very long, so I’ll stop there X| But, like I said, EXCELLENT face work, both enough to convey to the humans watching his feelings, and the sort of Vulcan disciplined suppression Trek fans would expect, and I was really impressed by it. But before moving on, I just want to point out a clear but subtle irony here. Green’s performance as Burnham is far more controlled in her reactions to witnessing this racism and anguished betrayal, keeping it mostly to her eyes, and the ever-present tension between her brows. The rest of Green/Burnham’s face remains disciplined and contained in a way Frain/Sarek’s does not, nor that of the Director. Basically, her self-possession out-Vulcans both of the Vulcans present, disproving the Director’s racist arguments. Just really excellent physicality in this ep, even on the smallest details.

Sympathy for the Devil

This was a really great ep for Lorca, too.

I feel like it’s pretty clear that Lorca’s the central villain of Discovery(as much as any one person is “The Villain” rather than nebulous concepts like “misunderstanding” and “arrogance” and “cultural chauvinism”), but he’s a very well and ambiguously written, sympathetic villain. That, inevitably, invites the audience to sympathize with him and forget that he’s the villain. With the Tardigrade set free and Spore-Drive Displacements no longer getting top-billing it’s been awhile since the audience has seen  him directly harm other people. It’s been two weeks since we saw him goad his crew by playing the anguished, fearful, dying screams of human colonists over the com. And last week we saw him being friendly with SF Command, being captured, having his weaknesses taken advantage of to torture him, and seeming to think his way out of a terrible situation with insight and daring. We also saw him betrayed by Mudd, and learned his tragic backstory. All of this invites sympathy, and the forgetting of his past misdeeds.

And at first the ep reinforces that. We see him testing and extending his trust to Ash, showing concern for Burnham, risking his ship to both save a long-loved character(Sarek) and protect the protagonist, and finally reconnecting with an old friend through nostalgia and positive, respectful, mutual affection.

But under all of this -except re: Burnham and Sarek- there is a disturbing tremor. The angry, cold and calculating way he crushes that cookie; his private order to Ash; how quickly and masterfully he makes his meeting with Cornwall about their friendship, then escalates its intimacy, step by seducing step. And, just as inevitably, that tremor eventually explodes into a quake that shakes it all down. Rather symbolically(this series LOVES symbolism ^u^) it is Cornwall’s tracing of his scars which triggers his breakdown. In an instant his facade of control collapses, and Lorca goes from driven and in-control to a shaken man on the edge of breaking, sweat-sheened and begging not to lose his ship.

His trauma, in itself, only sympathizes him more of course, and how he deals with it -suppression and bluster when he can hide it, frantic deal-making and pleas when it is revealed- does so as well, to a point. Lorca is revealed once more as a manipulator, but he hasn’t yet harmed anyone. His renewed professions of concern and respect for Burnham sound like Sarek’s manipulations in reverse, but it takes the last scene -the camera panning to focus on his phaser after Lorca had abandoned Cornwall to the Klingons, paraphrasing her own words to justify it to Saru, the audience knowing that she was the only person who knew how far he had fallen and could remove him from command- to retroactively make them, and his scenes with Burnham at the start of the ep, Sinister. By casting aside an ally, friend, and lover the moment she became a threat to his power and ambition, the show reminds the audience of just how villainous and dangerous this tormented man truly is.

There’s a lot more to talk about here -I particularly think this was a very insightful episode about how this show conceives of Vulcan culture- but I think I’ll give the other issues their own posts.

[femsff]

From the Identity Ask post: 1, 11 and 12?

I’m keeping the ones I’ve already answered to others in here as well, just so everyone can get to know me even better!

identity ask………oh shit

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?My body language, me, and whatever I’m talking about. That may seem like a cop-out answer to some, but I really do believe the only way to get to know someone is to observe, talk to, interact with and listen to them. Not necessarily in that order. I come into contact with a lot of different people through my work but also see/read a lot online and it often amazes me how little attention people pay to others! Be that cues (non-verbal or verbal), body language or just downright listening to and hearing what they have to say. No wonder people often don’t understand other people’s actions, points of view or feelings. Can anyone really be surprised or confused by someone if they ignore everything they say/do/emote?So, I like to think you can really get to know me by interacting with me. it seems to have worked for me in life so far.

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

are you religious/spiritual?

do you care about your ethnicity?

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

are you an artist?

do you have a creed?

describe your ideal day.Sleep in a little, have breakfast, go out to the grocery store/farmers’ market to get groceries and enjoy some brisk air (I prefer colder weather), relax, maybe go swimming, catch up on social media, news and emails*, have lunch, watch a new episode of a good TV show or two*, read a book/fanfic*, write some fanfic*, make dinner, maybe watch another TV show or continue writing* while chatting with some of my online friends*, whatsapp family/friends (not a phone call person), read the news, gossip and (post to) social media*, shower, go to bed*.*With my kitties by my side,

dog person or cat person?Cat, cat, cat! I’ve grown up with* both, first we had a dog and when she passed away when I was a toddler, we got another one two years later. We got our first cat about two years after that. She had a litter, from which we kept one kitten. Unfortunately both cats died when I was in my early teens. My sister managed to get us another cat by asking one for her birthday (and I was totally in cahoots with her and together we picked a kitten from an ad in a newspaper, behind my mother’s back) and then naturally, I needed my very own cat a year almost two years later. Let me tell you, my mother was not impressed with the tiny orange fluff ball (riddled with flees) my stepfather helped me pick up without her knowing about it. Unfortunately, sister’s cat was killed in a traffic accident a few years later. When I moved to uni, my mother insisted I took my orange cat with me as the cat only liked me (according to her) and, well, it was just mean to leave the cat all alone in my new house... so my housemate agreed to get a kitten! Sadly, both cats passed away about a year and a half, the orange one due to ‘old age’ (she’d had a brain infection a few years ago and recovered remarkably well, but her health wasn’t optimal) and the other one was so affected by it that she refused to eat or drink and died a few days later. It was awful! The house was very quiet and I was terribly upset, so my mother suggested I get another kitty. At first I thought that was a bad idea, but then I reluctantly started looking online and fell in love. The little attention seeker was so affectionate, playful and active that I felt awful leaving her on her own while I went off to work, so a few weeks later I got another kitty. They’re Best Felines Forever (BFFs) and the cutest, sweetest, most affectionate and lovable cats I’ve ever had.Don’t get me wrong, i still like dogs. But... I’ve also discovered I’m actually allergic to dogs ever since moving away from home and not having one around me/in the house. My sister and mother both have a dog and they’re nice, but always need entertaining and they have that typical dog smell I’m not too fond of. I not-so secretly like my sister’s dog better because it’s trained better and actually listens and doesn’t constantly jump into my lap like the hyperactive dog of my mother. Coincidentally, I was also allergic for cats but by having them around 24/7 I’ve built up a tolerance and rarely have reactions. Also, my current two kitties are half ragdolls, a breed which is known to be more tolerable for people with cat allergies.* Over the years we’ve also had birds, fish, hamsters, guinea pigs, mice (it was supposed to be one but of course I bought a pregnant one and got 10!), a rabbit and a turtle. I think my mother tried to make up for the fact that she never got to have pets as a child and instead took her stuffed toy dog out for walks on a leash in the neighborhood.**The dog I grew up with died almost a decade ago.

inside or outdoors?

are you a musician?

five most influential books over your lifetime.

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

what’s your patronus?

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?I have a secret… I’could be considered a terrible sci-fi/fantasy fan as I’ve never read the LotR books (my brother loves them), the Chronicles of Narnia or Harry Potter. I do vaguely remember watching some LotR and HP movies at certain points in my life (in the gym, recuperating from surgery, passively watching something someone else is watching), but they never really spoke to me nor make me want to read the books. So, if I have to choose a universe, I’ll definitely be in the Stargate universe even though it’s simply on “boring” Earth. Well, most of the time, anyway.

do you love easily?

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

how often would you want to see your family every year?

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

could you live as a hermit?

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

three songs that you connect with right now.

pick one of your favorite quotes.Honestly, I’ve got nothing… Some of the things I’ve learned over the years through (online) media is that quotes and quoting important people is a thing in the US. It’s not in my country. I’ve never been asked to memorize/apply quotes from famous inventors, authors or other historical figures in school. Granted, I did drop history in the equivalent of 9th grade, but it was never a thing in Literature (of any of the languages) either. The only things I can really quote (which I’ve learned in school) would be the laws of physics, mathematical equations and such. And, outside of/after school I never developed an obsession with quotes either. Sure, some of my favorite characters on TV have great lines, but nothing really noteworthy for a question like this one.

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 30: 1x21 The Return of the Archons

Took a break from Halloween-ing to watch TOS with my mom. Today’s ep, the rather lackluster Return of the Archons.

A very in media res beginning! Unsurprisingly since a lot of the drama of this episode hangs on the audience not knowing the whole story.

Sulu is looking damn fine. These weird outfits really do it for him.

Maybe O’Neill had the right idea in running instead of waiting for the transporter. (Or maybe not, seeing as we later find out they caught him too.)

Look at the heels on their boots lol. I always forget about that.

Today’s official adventure: looking for the missing ship Archon.

“Sulu’s mysterious condition requires that I, the Captain, collect all of the most important people on board the ship and beam down into a planet we already know to be full of dangers.”

“Materialization completed.” Uh good to know Kirk.

Why is Spock wearing that dramatic-ass cloak? (I know it’s because he needs a hood to cover his ears but he still looks very much not of a piece.)

Whereas McCoy looks like a down-home Georgia gentleman. He looks like he’s returned to his natural habitat.

I bet these are the sort of outfits AOS Kirk wished he was wearing when he was sighing wearily at his closet filled with uniforms.

I love that this planet is clearly the set of a Western. Or... Maybury. Or also Miri.

Not only did The 100 steal S3 from this episode, it also stole the Red Sun from it, didn’t it?

They keep saying they came for the festival and yet it is VERY clear they don’t know what the festival is. This disguise is not working.

It got dark damn fast. They’re outside, it’s almost 12--one would assume that’s 12 noon--and then they go inside, talk for about 3 minutes, go to another room, and it’s pitch black out!

Is this like The Purge? (I asked myself this while we were watching and--spoiler alert!--it is! The Purge was based, perhaps subconsciously, on this ep.)

Kirk looks very handsome in this ep. Like whoever directed it looks like he’s in love with him.

“Crewmen, here are your various assignments... Mr. Spock... come with me, somewhere private. To talk.”

Spock sleeping with his eyes open. (Meditating, my mom says.)

Oh look, it’s the secret police, in their brown robes.

Landru doesn’t seem too gentle lmao. “No dissent is allowed. You will be absorbed.” Randomly killing that guy who kinda said “maybe, uh, the festival...isn’t great??”

Kirk makes one comment about how everyone’s slow on the uptake here, and slow to respond to questions and denials, and Spock goes heart eyes. “Captain, how are you so smart and logical?”

“Fascinating, this is merely a hollow tube, Captain.” And uh I guess we’re never going to explain how that hollow tube kills people then?

They’re communing...

Love that Spock points out that the people are being communicated with through telepathy. Though... I remain sightly perplexed how the computer can do that. The next stage in Apple computing I guess.

Why isn’t Reger affected by all this? Like they imply that some people are spared the “festival” festivities because of their age, but that doesn’t seem to explain why he’s not “of the body.” Like being of the body isn’t a choice that people make, you’re ether absorbed or you’re not. They say later that he’s immune--but that in itself requires explanation. Like idk it seems a major plot hole that there can even be a resistance when the computer has controlled the society for thousands of years.

So I guess the backstory on the Archon ship is that they were all either absorbed or killed when they objected to the computer and its creepiness.

I do think the little hints that the society used to be way more advanced are intriguing.

“What should we do about this body that’s going to act as a tracking beacon right to us?” / “Uh, knock him out again.”

This planet is so peaceful.. no war or crime... except for people occasionally beating and raping each other nbd.

Was that Starfleet Officer really just going to shoot that projection? Not the best and the brightest being recruited nowadays I guess.

“The creature called Landru.”

“Enough analysis.” Spock always wants to talk through the whole backstory of the weird situations they’re in, while Kirk is a man of action!

Bones is really not being used to full capacity in this ep. He’s just kinda there in the background, until he’s absorbed.

Spock is very concerned about what will happen to the Captain, but also kind of... skeptical about this whole thing. For someone in control of his emotions he exhibits a lot of emotions imo.

“Happy communing!” Just gonna say this all the time now.

Time for another mind meld. So casual about it now.

Spock’s face during Kirk’s Landru-imitating speech is HILARIOUS. That eyebrow! The eye roll! I really think he’s amused by all of this.

He’s not very good at pretending to be absorbed. He sees Jim and he’s immediately like “Captain...!” all normal like.

“The peace of the factory, the tranquility of the machine.”

“You’re thinking the same thing I am. Mr. Spock... I love you.”

It’s pretty awesome that the same ep that introduces the Prime Directive also immediately finds Kirk forming loopholes in it. “We’re not supposed to interfere.... in living, growing cultures, which this isn’t! Moral conundrum solved.”

Spock actually straight up punched a man in the face lol.

Interesting that the communicators work like that--Spock is talking to the Enterprise on his, and Kirk just slides into the conversation on his device, without Spock abandoning his call. I think because they became cell phones irl that I think of them as cells but they’re not. It’s just weird to see them casually used in these totally bonkers ways.

Lol he returned them to a simpler, easier time. I guess you could say Landru made Beta III great again.

So Reger had second thoughts about actually destroying Supreme Leader once it got too real?

Interesting how Landru’s lair is so much more sci-fi-y in aesthetic than the town. Another hint of what the society used to look like.

Spock without the cloak. Damn son.

“We do not intend to die.” That’s a good attitude.

Revealing the Wizard behind the curtain...

“The whole society is a machine’s concept of perfection.”

A man programming himself into an all knowing machine that lives forever really does remind me of Becca and ALIE except with a 60s aesthetic--a large, physical computer rather than an AI.

“The good of the body is the Prime Directive.” Tbh I feel like what this whole ep is saying is that sometimes Prime Directives need to be bent if the reality of the situation doesn’t square with the spirit of the directive.

I love when Kirk destroys computers using Extreme Logic.

That should be a presidential debate question "What have you done to do justice to the full potential of every individual of the body?"

“Well, now that that’s done, we’re going to go. Have fun rebuilding your entire society from nothing. We’ll leave you a single sociologist to help out.”

So Mr. Sulu is back to normal, and he immediately returns to the bridge to give a little, goofy sitcom smile-and-shrug and kick some random extra outta his chair.

Why do they assume Landru was a good guy lol? I mean he solved their extreme violence problem but he instituted a plenty of other problems instead. Also he was clearly a megalomaniac.

This society’s backstory sounds an awful lot like pre-reform Vulcan. Maybe they should just send a Vulcan to teach them Surak’s ways.

Honestly they were left alone for like an hour and had a handful of fist fights. I think they really were a very violent people! Maybe destroying the dictator-computer was a bad idea!

I find it very odd that the whole festival thing was never actually explained. I guess it must have been a purge idea--that because they are so naturally violent and terrible aliens, they need to let off that steam in some way every now and again, and they do this through a “festival” of no-holds-barred violence. Still kinda wish they’d explicitly circled back on that in some way though.

I think the most interesting part of this episode was the planet’s back story. Kirk acts in the end as if they were basically human, but they’re not. Also, I got the impression that Landru convinced people to follow him first, and then only when he died, set himself up as an eternal God/Computer. So he must have been a very interesting, charismatic person. And that one of his ideas was to return to a “simpler time” in everything from dress to architecture, as if that had any real correlation with levels of violence is... fascinating. Was that the hook that he hung his reform on?

Overall, as I said, not a super strong S1 episode, but not bad at all. Next week is Space Seed, a classic episode that unfortunately was absolutely wrung dry by too many repeats over the course of the franchise. (...Yes I am referring specifically to STID obviously.) Still that shouldn’t take away from the brilliance of the original!

[femsff]

Identity asks... 3, 13, and 23 (because I seem to be picking number themes...)

I’m keeping the ones I’ve already answered to others in here as well, just so everyone can get to know me even better!

identity ask………oh shit

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?My body language, me, and whatever I’m talking about. That may seem like a cop-out answer to some, but I really do believe the only way to get to know someone is to observe, talk to, interact with and listen to them. Not necessarily in that order. I come into contact with a lot of different people through my work but also see/read a lot online and it often amazes me how little attention people pay to others! Be that cues (non-verbal or verbal), body language or just downright listening to and hearing what they have to say. No wonder people often don’t understand other people’s actions, points of view or feelings. Can anyone really be surprised or confused by someone if they ignore everything they say/do/emote?So, I like to think you can really get to know me by interacting with me. it seems to have worked for me in life so far.

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.The only fandom I actively participate in is Stargate SG-1. Somehow, others just don’t grab me. It’s a bit strange because I watch a lot of TV shows but I think it’s the interesting Sam/Jack ship and its lack of resolution that keeps me going back, in combination with the show’s plot and everything of course. If I have to choose one person, it’d be Sam Carter, but I also identify with Jack O’Neill in some aspects.

do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

are you religious/spiritual?

do you care about your ethnicity?

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

are you an artist?

do you have a creed?

describe your ideal day.Sleep in a little, have breakfast, go out to the grocery store/farmers’ market to get groceries and enjoy some brisk air (I prefer colder weather), relax, maybe go swimming, catch up on social media, news and emails*, have lunch, watch a new episode of a good TV show or two*, read a book/fanfic*, write some fanfic*, make dinner, maybe watch another TV show or continue writing* while chatting with some of my online friends*, whatsapp family/friends (not a phone call person), read the news, gossip and (post to) social media*, shower, go to bed*.*With my kitties by my side,

dog person or cat person?Cat, cat, cat! I’ve grown up with* both, first we had a dog and when she passed away when I was a toddler, we got another one two years later. We got our first cat about two years after that. She had a litter, from which we kept one kitten. Unfortunately both cats died when I was in my early teens. My sister managed to get us another cat by asking one for her birthday (and I was totally in cahoots with her and together we picked a kitten from an ad in a newspaper, behind my mother’s back) and then naturally, I needed my very own cat a year almost two years later. Let me tell you, my mother was not impressed with the tiny orange fluff ball (riddled with flees) my stepfather helped me pick up without her knowing about it. Unfortunately, sister’s cat was killed in a traffic accident a few years later. When I moved to uni, my mother insisted I took my orange cat with me as the cat only liked me (according to her) and, well, it was just mean to leave the cat all alone in my new house… so my housemate agreed to get a kitten! Sadly, both cats passed away about a year and a half, the orange one due to ‘old age’ (she’d had a brain infection a few years ago and recovered remarkably well, but her health wasn’t optimal) and the other one was so affected by it that she refused to eat or drink and died a few days later. It was awful! The house was very quiet and I was terribly upset, so my mother suggested I get another kitty. At first I thought that was a bad idea, but then I reluctantly started looking online and fell in love. The little attention seeker was so affectionate, playful and active that I felt awful leaving her on her own while I went off to work, so a few weeks later I got another kitty. They’re Best Felines Forever (BFFs) and the cutest, sweetest, most affectionate and lovable cats I’ve ever had.Don’t get me wrong, i still like dogs. But… I’ve also discovered I’m actually allergic to dogs ever since moving away from home and not having one around me/in the house. My sister and mother both have a dog and they’re nice, but always need entertaining and they have that typical dog smell I’m not too fond of. I not-so secretly like my sister’s dog better because it’s trained better and actually listens and doesn’t constantly jump into my lap like the hyperactive dog of my mother. Coincidentally, I was also allergic for cats but by having them around 24/7 I’ve built up a tolerance and rarely have reactions. Also, my current two kitties are half ragdolls, a breed which is known to be more tolerable for people with cat allergies.* Over the years we’ve also had birds, fish, hamsters, guinea pigs, mice (it was supposed to be one but of course I bought a pregnant one and got 10!), a rabbit and a turtle. I think my mother tried to make up for the fact that she never got to have pets as a child and instead took her stuffed toy dog out for walks on a leash in the neighborhood.** The dog I grew up with died almost a decade ago.

inside or outdoors?Inside for sure. Don’t get me wrong, i don’t mind going outside or anything but I prefer being shielded from the elements/heat and would never voluntarily go hiking or something. It’s just not in my nature. But I do need to go outside, even for a little while, every day just to get some fresh air and maybe let the wind mess up my hair.

are you a musician?

five most influential books over your lifetime.

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

what’s your patronus?

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?I have a secret… I’could be considered a terrible sci-fi/fantasy fan as I’ve never read the LotR books (my brother loves them), the Chronicles of Narnia or Harry Potter. I do vaguely remember watching some LotR and HP movies at certain points in my life (in the gym, recuperating from surgery, passively watching something someone else is watching), but they never really spoke to me nor make me want to read the books. So, if I have to choose a universe, I’ll definitely be in the Stargate universe even though it’s simply on “boring” Earth. Well, most of the time, anyway.

do you love easily?

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

how often would you want to see your family every year?Oh, I don’t know... we don’t have a very big family and we don’t do things like family weekends or anything, so I tend to just go visit when I feel like it or my mother/sister “subtly” hints it’s been a while since I’ve been by. I do like spending Christmas with them and I always try to make it to everyone’s birthday (or whichever day they celebrate it), but I’d say about half a dozen times a year is plenty*. Also, my sister had a baby this year and I’m a first-time auntie so I do make an effort to see the little one. I get almost daily pics and vids though, so it’s not like I need to be there every month.*I live in a small country and everyone is practically in a different region (north, north east, west, and center), except for sister and mother who live in the same city. Anyway, for us traveling an hour is quite a distance and two hours is like very far away (and when I have to go west, phew, it’s 2.5 hours and that’s me making a lot of effort), so we don’t generally feel like we have time to have weekly visits.

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

could you live as a hermit?

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

three songs that you connect with right now.

pick one of your favorite quotes.Honestly, I’ve got nothing… Some of the things I’ve learned over the years through (online) media is that quotes and quoting important people is a thing in the US. It’s not in my country. I’ve never been asked to memorize/apply quotes from famous inventors, authors or other historical figures in school. Granted, I did drop history in the equivalent of 9th grade, but it was never a thing in Literature (of any of the languages) either. The only things I can really quote (which I’ve learned in school) would be the laws of physics, mathematical equations and such. And, outside of/after school I never developed an obsession with quotes either. Sure, some of my favorite characters on TV have great lines, but nothing really noteworthy for a question like this one.