#please look at this and go insane with me
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êŠê· ïč destory me on camera ÂĄ
pairing best friend!rafe x OF creator!reader
summary Rafe finger fucking you for you OF content, not because he's been dying to lay his hands on you, and carress every curve of your body, after only being able to admire such view through the screen.Â
contains smut, fingering (obvi), cameras, squirting, spit as lube, dirty talk, praise & degradation, teasing, brief mention of rafe jerking off to your videos, perv rafe...? wc; 2k
a/n this had me insane i needed to do it omff i hope you enjoy as much as i did writing it!! bsf rafe is such a whore he needs his own appreciation :p
"Pretty please, Rafe?" Your lips jut into a pout, eyes innocently fluttering up at him. Your hand lightly trailed up his thigh, landing right around his crotch, where his cock was already leaking with pre-cum, desperare to be caressed by your pretty, delicate fingers. "C'mon, you don't want to be mean to your best friend, do you?"Â
"You're insane, you know that?" He barely managed to stutter out a breath, arms haunched over the couch, where he was struggling to maintain his position, and hold back from pushing your head down on his cock.Â
"Is that a yes?" You excitedly perked up, face mere inches away from Rafe's. You planted a small kiss to his cheek, moving away before he could process the gesture. "Thank you, I'll make sure you won't regret it."Â
"Do something before I change my mind, then." He shot back, causing you to shove his arm. A breath knocked out of his chest at the lack of warmness when you moved away to stand to your feet. His gaze followed your figure, halting just around your cleavage, where your boobs laid exposed to the chilly air, barely covered by the sheer, see through top you were wearing.
Rafe's gaze furrowed upon landing on the hand you offered him, hesitating to accpet the touch till you further explained. "You don't think I'm gonna let you fuck me here, do you?" You questioned, sly grin plastering across your lips. Rafe's throat dried at the statement, failing to keep his compusure, and feign nonchalance over whatever the hell stunt you were pulling on him. "Let's go to the room, I already have the camera set up."Â
"You do?" He mumbled, letting you drag him towards your room. You nodded, twisting the doorknob open, and revealing the set up you had going on, camera adjusted over the bed, the same view he was used to witnessing through the screen while he secretly got off to your videos.Â
"I've got to be prepared," you giggled, letting go of his hand, and throwing yourself on the bed with a thud. You plopped your arms on the bed, crossing your legs seductively, as your skirt rid up your thighs, revealing the plump flesh hidden beneath the material. That alone had Rafe's cock stirring in his pants, desperate to explore your whole body, dive in your pussy till he no longer could coherent normal words out. "Knew you'd agree to this."Â
"What made you sure I was gonna agree to this?" He cocked his head to the side, fingers finding your ankle, as he deliberately traced the soft skin, leading all the way to your thighs. You tilted your head back, groping your tits through the fabric, the action immediately earning a grunt out of Rafe.Â
"I know my best friend," you shuddered out a breath, tugging the sheer of your top down, causing goosebumps to instantly break out across your chest. "You wouldn't say no to this."Â
"Fuck, yeah I won't." He hissed, grasping one of your tits in his hold. He squeezed the fatty flesh, kneading and carressing your nipple in between his fingers, until it was hard and perky. His attention settled in between your thighs, admiring the wet mess he made out of you, a wet patch visible through your lace panties. "While you look fucking great in those, I need them off your body now."Â
"Relax, Rafe, I'm not goin' anywhere." You teased, gliding your tongue over your teeth, as you leisurely tugged at the strings of your panties, merely to mess with Rafe, and get a reaction out of him. "Why don't you get the camera rolling first? Then I'll give you what you want."Â
"Fuck, how do I start this thing?" Rafe mumbled, pressing random buttons to get the camera started. His gaze fixed on the small lense, gulping at the sight of you practically half naked on the bed. Fuck, you looked surreal, out of world, he wished this wasn't just for content. "Is it on?"Â
You nodded upon spotting the little red light, waving him over with your hand. "How are we doin' this?" You asked, shuffling around for Rafe to squeeze himself behind you, quickly relaxing in his arms after he adjusted his position. A yelp almost shrieks past your parted lips as Rafe's hardon brushes over your lower back, clearly as turned on as you were, probably ever more. "Comfortable?"Â
"Don't worry about me," he hummed in your ear, bunching your hair to the side, where he could catch glimpse of your figure loose in his hold. He began by toying with the necklace hugging your neck, trailing his hand all the way down to your cleavage. From soothing circles turned into him groping you through the fabric, kneading the skin in his hand, the moans you mewled out like music to his ears. "Moaning like a fucking slut, huh, that feel' good?"Â
His name threatened to leave your mouth, washed down by a gasp when his lips brushed over the blade of your shoulder, littering wet, open-mouthed kisses to it as his fingers continuously massaged your tits, immediately releasing them when he tugged the fabric down. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, teeth grazing over his throat, far overwhelmed by the pleasure from the touch.Â
"You gonna let me fuck you in front of that camera?" Rafe whispered, mostly to you, dragging his hand down your lower stomach, past the waistband of your skirt. He pushed it up your waist, gaze settling on the camera lense as he fingered at your panties, sliding then beneath the fabric, as he toyed with it back and forth, the action teasing, causing you to arch your back. "Such a desperate slut, aren't you? Dying for my fingers to fuck your needy pussy."Â
"Mhm," you nodded, lips pressing into a thin line to contain your whines from scooping out, not wanting to come off needy, though your body language spoke otherwise. "Fuck me, please, destroy me on camera for everyone to see, 'want your fingers inside me."Â
Using the arm wrapped around your waist, Rafe pressed you down as he managed to slide the lace panties off, the action casual, yet deliberate, oblivious to your fucked-out state, and the mess he created out of you.Â
He almost chuckled, amused by the ragged whine that escaped your throat, lips parting with awe, as Rafe glides his digits up and down your folds, fingering at your sensitive clit, making you squirm in his arms. It felt heavenly, most times, you had to fake your reaction for content, but with Rafe? It came flawlessly, his fingers worked magic.Â
He traced your hole with the tip of his long digits, collecting your juices in the process of sliding his fingers up and down your hole, until your cunt was drenched with your arousal.Â
Pride swelled his chest, knowing he was the cause of this, as well as the whines you kept letting out, far too gone to acknowledge the camera yet rolling. Rafe used your parted lips as an opportunity to slip his fingers inside, taking in the sensation of your hot spit gliding over the digits, desperately licking off your juices clean.Â
A groan knocks out Rafe's mouth, as his fingers exit your mouth with a pop, the sound causing him to twitch in his pants. He was rock hard, it was starting to hurt, he could not wait to get off while remincing over your little moans that displayed how eager you were to have him, feeding into his sick fantasies.Â
"So good with your fingers," you praised, encouraging him to continue rubbing circles to your clit, flicking the nub over and over again, till your cunt was slick with (your) spit.Â
"Such a fucking whore." He murmurs, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. His attention fixed on your cunt, hole gripping around nothing, and leaking with your juices. Turned on was underestimating how Rafe felt in the moment, heat pooling past his neck, until it settled on his face, tinting his cheeks a deep shade of red.Â
"Fuckkk..." You trailed off, fluttering your lashes through hooded eyes. Your body jerked as Rafe spread your folds with his fingers, revealing your glistening nub, coated with a glossy layer. "You like playing with your best friend's pussy baby?"Â
Rafe palmed your cunt at the statement, the gesture spiraling a wave of pleasure through your insides. Rafe's grunts were barely audible, though they were loud and clear like music to your ears, only for you to hear and enjoy.Â
The latter eventually decided to quit teasing you and line his fingers with your entrance, tracing them up and down, only inserting the tip of his digits to test you. You whined in protest, wiggling for a fraction, anything to help with your pent up sexual frustration, one only Rafe, your best friend could relieve.Â
He easily slid a finger inside, immediately engulfed with the warmness of your cunt, as you clenched around him, growing blinded by pleasure. He moved slowly; with a purpose, exploring each and every inch of you, afraid he'd miss out if he didn't pay you enough attention.Â
"Such a pathetic doll, letting your best friend ruin your pussy with his fingers." He grunted, fastening his pace, and lining his other finger with your hole.Â
"Yes yes yes yesss," you threw your head back,
as Rafe inserted another finger inside you, pumping them in and out of your hole, till you got used to his digits stretched you out. "Fuck me, please, 'wish it was your cock instead!"Â
"Bet you do," he heaved out a breath, scissoring his fingers inside you to explore every corner. "You'd like that, huh? Wanna fuck you dumb like a pathetic lil slut."Â
Rafe continued fucking you with his fingers, main focus on your face as it twisted with pleasure. His calloused digits repeatedly moved inside you, hitting your sweet spot in the process, and causing desire to spiral through your insides, coating every blood vessel and vein.Â
"You like fuckin' me like this?" You questioned through a whine, littering kisses to the curve of Rafe's jaw. "Much better than jerking off to my videos, don't you think?"Â
Fuck, you knew.Â
You chuckled when you recieved no response from the latter, a mere whimper as he thrusted his fingers inside your hole, rather pleased with himself, hoping this was your actual reaction, and not just for content.Â
"Come on my fingers," he demanded, request filthy,
something he fantasized about in the dim of the night. "I know you're close."Â
He was right, in the span of seconds, your climax built up, indicating you were close everytime Rafe would apply pressure, or use his thumb to rub your clit, spiking more and more heat through your body.Â
Your orgasm reached its peak, coming hard as you squirted all over Rafe's fingers, with Rafe riding his digits through your orgasm, not stopping even when your legs trembled as you came down from your high.Â
Rafe's fingers dripped with your sweet arousal, liquid tracing along the veins kissing up his arms. The sight alone had him a fucking mess, you dare make it worse when you bring his fingers to your lips, and suck his fingers clean.Â
The latter observed in awe, spit pooling in his mouth, as desire fogged his vision, eager to get a taste of your lips now glossed with your arousal.Â
A grin formed on your lips, quickly closing the distance seperating you in a chaste kiss, one breaking the boundaies you built for your friendship. Rafe's lips moved desperately over yours, licking into your mouth for the mere purpose of tasting you.Â
That didn't last long, interrupted when you inched back, just enough to whisper out your next words. "Pizza?"Â
"What?" Rafe's caught off gaurd by the question, too sudden for him to process it.Â
"Should we get pizza?" You asked, sitting up straight. "I'm hungry."Â
"Did we not jusâ"Â
"That was for content!" You reasoned, face immediately growing hot. "It's done now, take care of your business and come on out, you drained me out, I'll help you out next time."Â
"There's a next time?" He nearly choked on his own spit.Â
"Only if you're up for it..." You shot back, searching for a reaction out of the latter.Â
Up for it? Screw that, he'd fuck you right now if he could.Â
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron imagine#rafe x you#rafe x reader#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe obx#outer banks#outer banks x reader#outer banks smut#drew starkey
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I'm aware I'm gonna lose people with this but I really do need to get the thought out of my head (I'm being delusional and this'll make it worse). It's just Jack and blood does something to me. Something magical. Also for the dark!Jack askers.
1.7k words.
Warnings!!!: if you're squeamish, please don't read this. I mean it. There's a lot of blood talk. Him covering you in it. Biting. Me going insane. Being a whore on main. Somnophilia. Jack being feral. If the idea of period sex makes you go ew, this'll make you worse. Him not caring if you don't want him marking you.
You've been worried about him since he got hit - knowing how bad some high stick injuries can be. Stressing until he was shown on the bench, barely calming down seeing all the blood still covering his face. How casual he is about it, not being phased at all, making no effort to wipe it off.
How aggressively he's playing after it, there's more aggression in him when he takes face offs. There's more push behind his skates up and down the ice. More concentration on his bloodied face.
If you're being honest, the whole thing is incredibly hot. Even though there's an underlying beat of concern. You don't like seeing him hurt.
It's late at night, so you're cuddled up on the couch in one of his shirts. Always feels like he's home with you when you're bundled up in his scent.
It's too much for him when he gets home. It's like someone's sucked all the air out of the room. His knuckles white as snow from his grip on the door frame. He doesn't dare move. Feeling like he's one step away from losing any and all sanity that he has left.
His girl.. all perfect.
His shirt on you.. how small you look in it. It's physically stunned him.
He can feel the blood on his face still. He was in too much of a rush to get home to you, he wouldn't take the time to wipe it off. He wasn't wasting time showering. Not when he knows you're all alone at home. He's not phased by it, just slowly dragging his tongue over his lip to prevent it from getting out of control.
He's no stranger to blood in his mouth. Injuries are common and he can't just stop whenever it happens.
He figures you're asleep. Who knows how long he's just been stuck there, trying to piece together the non feral part of his brain. You haven't made any noise, haven't reacted to him coming home.
He's free to just.. observe.
He's salivating over your legs. They look so pure and untouched, unmarked, oh so long looking under the shirt. Fuck.. he doesn't know what he wants first.
He could have them wrapped around his waist, have you scratching your own marks into his back as he fucks you into the wall. Wanting to see the pathetically adorable tears streak down your face until you get noise complaints.
Have you bouncing on his dick, slamming you down to force you to go at his pace, forcing you back down to meet his savage thrusts even if you try and crawl off to escape.
Wrapping them around his head, forcing them tighter against his head, wanting to suffocate against your cunt. Feeling you cry and squirm against him, trying to escape his tongue.
How pretty he'd paint you with the blood that's still leaking from his mouth. What a perfect way to make a point.. show you how much you truly belong to him. It'd stand out so vividly against your skin.. against your cute little cunt.
It's enough to take the final sanity percentage from him. He can't stay here watching you from afar now. He's gone too deep. The chances of him walking by you to shower before coming back.. non existent.
He's like a possessed animal stalking towards you, hair loose, half covering his face. His expression dark, his eyes barely visible. His pupils fully dilated.
If he doesn't get his mouth on you and in you, he thinks he might lose it. He can't even wait for you to stir. He doesn't have the restraint. Doesn't fucking want the restraint.
He's hovering over you before he can even process it, grabbing your legs as gently as he physically can in his state, making room for himself to kneel between them on the couch. Leaning over to hover over your face, staring at how innocent you look under him.
His baby must've stayed up late worrying yourself to sleep, he knows how you get.
His fingers not being able to resist digging into your shoulders, staring at the way that your body doesn't resist him. The slight bruises he leaves, painting you. The way you almost lean into his touch in your sleep, seemingly seconds away from mewling like a cat.
He can't resist pulling your shirt up. He can't get it fully off without waking you up, but he inches it towards your neck as gently as he can. Restraining you slightly as it reaches armpit height.
He's slightly startled as he hears a small sound, like a droplet. Looking down, realizing that some of the blood from his mouth is smack bang in the middle of your exposed chest now. Trailing it with his eyes as it slides down your cleavage, under your bra, leaving a skin stain as it goes.
He can't stop the gulp, processing how it feels to see him on you, in such a different way..
There's nothing more him than his blood. It's so striking against your skin. He can't explain the sudden urge he has to follow it with his tongue. To cover you in him.
He makes a fatal mistake, resting his head against your shoulder. His attempt to control himself only makes the problem worse as he lifts his head, realizing that you're now covered in his blood, your whole left shoulder looks like a murder scene.
He can't resist licking your skin. Just once. Tasting your skin combined with him. He's never felt this possessive before, never felt more sure in the fact that you're his.
Sinking his teeth gently into the skin, just enough to leave a mark. He doesn't fully know what's wrong with him. This need to just.. mark you up. To mark up every single inch of your skin. You're such a little fucking cute bunny rabbit. So adorably small against him. So weak. So fragile. So his.
He can't stop at just your shoulder. He's inching down, nipping and sucking at your skin, occasionally licking at the blood if it pools too much. Making his way down to your chest, watching the droplets drip down your tits, following the perfect curve, seeping into your bra.
He can't resist running his tongue down your cleavage. Slowly folding the cups over enough to get his hot, wet mouth around your nipple. Biting harshly, eyes flicking up to you as your squirm in your sleep. He wonders if you're dreaming about it. If you can feel his body. If you're mentally aware of how deranged he's feeling tonight.
Squirming more as he reaches your stomach. He half entertains spelling his name on your stomach but he truly doesn't have the patience. He's biting his lip more as he goes, trying to agitate it, getting frustrated that the blood's drying up. He doesn't care if it hurts, how much it stings with every single movement. He'll take care of it later. It's not important.
It does rush him slightly. He can't risk running out of it before he gets to his meal. Skipping mostly past your stomach, dragging his parted mouth down until he reaches his meal. Resting his mouth against your cute underwear. Smirking as he realizes there's adorable little teddies on them. Slowly staining them with blood as he keeps his head still, resting his mouth above your clit. The contrast of the blood and your visible innocence, he could moan.
He's just resting there, breathing you in. He can smell you. Feel the heat coming from your adorable pussy. He can't resist gently biting, mostly gripping your underwear in his teeth, letting it smack back against your clit, hearing you let out the littlest moan. He doesn't care to check if you're waking up now. It's not like he'll stop, even if you do wake up and protest. There's nothing you can do about it.
Nuzzling his nose down where your thigh meets this delicious skin, breathing you in. He can feel the dampness of your pussy smearing on his face as he drags his cheek down. Marking himself up with you.
Biting you in a harsher manner on your inner thighs, feeling how your skin melts like butter at his attack. Smearing you in the blood that's drying up faster now, licking up the arousal that's seeping from your underwear.
His girl loves this so fucking much.. as you should.
The little whimpers you let out.. he can't wait any longer. He's teased himself enough. He can feel the fucking precum soaking his shorts. Hell, it's probably even on your legs at this point. The throbbing is so hard for him to ignore, but you aren't fully claimed yet. He hasn't had his fill of your cunt.
Spinning you slightly, dragging you to the edge of the couch. Sinking to his knees in front of you.
He's ripping your underwear off with his teeth, laughing cruelly as he hears your startled gasp. You're awake now it seems. Maybe you're swearing at him. Maybe you're begging him to stop. Maybe you're moaning. He doesn't care. It's time to eat.
Swiping his tongue all the way from your cute hole to your adorable clit. There's only a faint amount of blood leaking from him now, but it's enough for him to slowly watch it mix with your arousal. Only fueling him more to eat you.
Stretching you apart with his fingers, putting weight behind it to make sure you can't move. Can't protest. Sucking every last drop from you, lapping at you like you're water in an oasis. Feeling you clench. Nipping at your clit, not wanting your body to get used to one sensation.
Thrusting his tongue into your cunt, licking against your walls, wanting to consume you from the source.
He's thrusting slowly against the couch, imagining splitting you open with his cock, mimicking the motions with his tongue. You're spasming around him, he can hear your cries getting louder.
Slowly thrusting in with his finger, adding another soon after. Stretching you open, making room for him to shove his tongue further in along with them.
Feeling your legs shake around his shoulders, restricting his breathing. Cumming in his shorts at you getting off on being claimed.
Pulling back, eyes half lidded, running his eyes over your body. Admiring all of the blood smears and marks on your body. He's never felt so in control. So satiated. So utterly dominant over you. There's no doubting that you're his.
And he hasn't even fucked you yet.
#jack hughes#jh86#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes fic#jack hughes fanfiction#nhl smut#jack hughes smut#jack hughes imagine#dark jack
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You Can Say You Love Me Now
Theodore Nott x reader
Summary: A little fake dating trope, just in time for Valentine's day
word count: 3k
Â©ïž obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.
It was the perfect plan really. Or it had seemed like it at the time. When fueled by frustration, love, and desperation, what could go wrong? Theo had loved you for as long as he could remember and he wasnât afraid to admit that. To himself at least. But to you, well, that was a bit more challenging.
Coming from a pure blood family, a sacred 28 family no less, Theodoreâs fate had been sealed long before he was even born. Destined to marry another rich, pure blood heiress, have children, and secure the Nott legacy another generation. All ridiculous nonsense if you asked Theodore. What was the point of tradition anyway? Pretty much everyone who cared was already dead, so what did it matter?
Unfortunately for Theo, his father was not dead and had been trying to find a suitable match for what felt like years at this point. Names of witches that Theo couldnât even match a face to had been floated by, but Theo had spoiled each and every potential match and his father had been growing increasingly more agitated by the day.
Thatâs when it had struck him. Kill two birds with one stone. Get his father off his back and gain the perfect opportunity to win over the witch of his dreams. Was it a bit short sighted? Sure. But he wasnât left with many options at this point and this was as good a plan as any.
âPlease principessa, you know what my fatherâs like. And it would only be a few months.â Theo begged, following close behind you as you make your way through the labyrinth that is the Hogwarts library.
âI am not going to pretend to date you for a few months Theodore. Or at all. Thatâs actually insane. Besides, no one would believe it anyway. Weâve known each other for how long? No one is going to buy the idea of us just now deciding to go out. Especially not your father. Do you know how long my mother has been trying to set us up?â you sigh, plucking another book off the shelf.
You had known Theodore practically your whole life. The two of you had been best friends since before you could walk. Your earliest memories involved waddling around the gardens of his familyâs manor as your mothers watched on in thrilled bliss. There was simply no way the two of you would be fooling anyone.
âWell thatâs just it isnât it? Father has been hounding me to court you for ages, heâll be too relieved to care,â Theo replies, an air of desperation creeping into his voice.
"Yeah, And what do you suppose we'd tell them hmm?" You ask.
"Don't know. We wanted it to happen naturally or some other sappy story. They'll eat it up."
You give your friend a pointed look. This was not the first time he had presented you with a half-baked plan that was certain to go wrong at some point.
âYouâre being so ridiculous right now Theodore, this easily makes it on the list of your top ten stupidest ideas.â
âYou keep a list?â
âItâs alphabetized.â
Theo has the nerve to look offended.
âPlease principessa? I know your family has been on you too. This will buy us both a little time at least,â Theo protests. "Just think, we tell them over winter break, string it along awhile, and then after we've gone our seperate ways we're just too broken hearted to even consider any other possibilities for the future."
In all fairness, the boy was right. Your family had been bothering you for months now, asking if youâd found a special someone. You'd known when Theodore's father began ramping up the pressure for him to find a match that your family wouldn't be far behind, but it was honestly starting to get to be a bit ridiculous. And exhausting.
"It's not even completely incomprehensible. We've been mistaken as a couple before." Theo continues to press.
You glare at your friend, eyes rolling at the mere memory.
six months prior
It had been another one of your mother's usual, stuffy garden parties. The sun had been beating down on you all morning and all you really wanted to do was throw your blasted shoes across the lawn. Who thought it was a sensible idea to be out on the garden's cobblestone paths in scorching heat for hours at a time? This was not your idea of a good time.
"Principessa," Theodore greeted, arm wrapping comfortably around your waist.
"Don't even start, Theodore," you grumbled, leaning into the boy. "I'm tired, I'm hungry, and if my mother tries to make me join one more conversation about the Ministry or some such I'll set the whole garden on fire."
Theodore just laughed, pulled you closer.
"C'mon love. We can sneak off to the lake I reckon. Berkshire just arrived so the mums will all be too busy throwing him at the Greengrass sisters to notice."
Had you felt a bit bad leaving Enzo to the wolves? Sure. But still, you had let Theodore lead you down the path to the lake, collapsing onto the lawn sofa that was perched almost picturesquely on the patio overlooking the glassy water.
You had closed your eyes, feeling yourself relax into Theodore as his fingers combed methodically through your hair. You didn't know how long the both of you had been sitting there simply basking in each other's company when an excited gasp jolted you from your peaceful bliss.
"Oh! Oh my!" the shrill voice of one of your mother's airheaded socialites tittered. "I wasn't aware the both of you were courting! Oh your parents must be so pleased- what with your families being so close and all-"
"We're not courting." You interjected, holding your hand up to stop the women mid sentence.
She had stuttered awkwardly after that before finally shuffling off. Had you been a bit harsh? Perhaps. But you simply hadn't been in any sort of mood to deal with the notion of dating your best friend.
Theodore hadn't said a word, but you could feel him recoil ever so slightly. Not enough for anyone to notice if it hadn't been you. And things were a bit, strained, for the following days. If you could even call it that. And then things went back to normal as if nothing had happened.
You would have forgotten the whole thing, brushed it under the rug as something to laugh about in a few years, if it hadn't left a nagging feeling in the back of your mind.
You had never even allowed yourself to think that you could ever end up with your friend. Sure, years ago your mothers had shared the fantasy of the both of you ending up together one day. You were sure your mother was still convinced it might happen. But no. He would be auctioned off to the family of some wealthy heiress and you would be matched with some boy your parents deemed suitable. It was just how things worked.
Your feared your father was wearing going to wear through the carpet at any moment with the way he was pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. Your mother sat twiddling her fingers on the sofa across from you, watching your father in exasperation.
Theodore was quite pleased with himself. To be completely honest he really didn't think he'd get this far. But sitting smugly on the sofa of his father's office, arm wrapped securely around you as he faced not only his own father, but your parents as well, he felt on top of the world.
"Well? Is it true? Are you?" your mother asks, finally breaking the silence as she had apparently given up on your father being the first to speak.
Your father had stormed off to Mr. Nott's office before you could even let out a breath, and by the time you and Theodore had finally slunk into the room, your mother was already doing a piss poor job of hiding her excitement.
It had always been a dream of hers for the both of you to end up together one day. It was hardly a kept secret. Maybe Theodore had been right and their blind excitement would stop them from asking too many questions because this was truly horrific.
"Of course it's true! It better be! The way I found him all over y/n," your father interrupts.
Mr. Nott just gazes on, eyes seemingly boring into your soul as Theodore meets his father's stare with cool, nonchalance. The smug bastard.
"Oh it's all we ever hoped for!" Your mother gushes, eyes falling onto the portrait hanging on the wall of the late Mrs. Nott.
"Well. That settles it then. They'll begin courting. Or whatever it is they call it these days," Mr. Nott says finally. "But there will be no more of this, nonsense. Not under my roof."
a few minutes earlier
"After further reassessment, this is the stupidest idea you've ever had," you hiss. Glaring at the brunette boy in front of you.
You were currently perched on one of the many desks lining the library walls of Nott Manor. Theodore was pressed up against the side, warm hands on your thighs holding you securely in place and sending shivers down your spine.
"Hush amore. How else will they be convinced we've been hiding a relationship, hmm?" He asks, slowly guiding one of your arms up to wrap around his neck.
"Oh I don't know. Suppose we just tell them? Ever think of that?"
"Yeah, and how would that go? Hey mum, I've been secretly seeing the son of your dead best friend who you've been trying to set me up with for ages. This is definitely not a distraction. Please believe us." Theo scoffs.
"I'm being serious," you respond, giving the boy a light whack on the shoulder. "When I agreed to the whole 'pretend to go out' bit, this is not what I had in mind."
"We've kissed before," Theo drawls, all nonchalance.
"You know that's not the same Theodore."
Before Theodore is able to respond, likely with another of his dry quips that you had grown to adore (not that you'd ever admit it), the door of the library swings open, footsteps echoing on the marble floors.
You don't even get the chance to fully take in the reality of the situation before Theodore's lips are on yours. It's slow and soft and warm as you feel his thumb softly brushing circles on your inner thigh. A soft gasp escapes you as you melt into the boy.
"What is the meaning of this?" Your father's cutting voice calls out, breaking you from your trance.
You jolt away from Theo, eyes snapping up to meet your father's, face flushed with embarrassment. Theo on the other hand looked quite self-satisfied. Oh you were going to kill him later.
"Both of you. Into the office. Now." Your father snaps out, looking like he was wishing he could obliviate himself in that moment.
"How long are we going to keep this going?" you ask, eyes not quite meeting Theo's as you lean your head against him. It was another warm night in which you and Theodore had managed to sneak up to the astronomy tower.
Your visits to the astronomy tower had started back in fourth year. It seemed like forever ago. And now you looked forward to nothing as much as nights spent with Theodore gazing up at the sky. The nights were different now though, you supposed.
It had been what? Five months now? You were almost certain it was five months, but those months seemed to have flown by in bliss. You hadn't realized how easy it would be. You and Theodore seemed to have been carefully tip toeing the line between friendship and more for years. You simply hadn't put the pieces together. It had been a bit clunky at first sure. Awkward maybe. But this was perfect. Standing in Theodore's arms as the stars above you seemed to go on forever. Perfect.
three-ish months prior
"Shut up. Shut. Up. You're joking," Daphne squeals, eyes locking onto your fingers which are tightly interlocked with Theo's as you enter your dorm room.
Something you seemed to have overlooked when agreeing to Theodore's dating scheme, was the fact that an integral part of the plan involved selling the lie to your closest friends.
It was much more difficult than you had anticipated.
You had spent the first initial month spending all your free time with Theodore, never really leaving his side. Apparently this didn't seem out of the ordinary. The flowers sent to your dorm didn't elicit a single reaction from your roommate, nor did Theodore's constant pet names. No, what really did it apparently, was the hand holding. Scandalous.
Your friends never failed to miss an opportunity to humble you.
"Took them long enough. Don't know why you're so shocked Daph," Mattheo replies dryly from his spot on the floor, papers scattered around him. He doesnât even bother to look up.
"Well duh. We all knew they'd end up together eventually. Just didn't think they'd figure it out while we were still in school." Daph responds matter of factly. âUgh. I owe Pansy 25 galleons now.â She groans, a frown appearing on her face.
"We can hear you, you know," Theo drawls, raising an eyebrow.
"Well it isn't as if the two of you have been subtle about it. Always holed up together in the library for hours at a time doing gods knows what."
"We study together," you reply, feeling the need to defend yourself.
"Youâve also attend every single ball together since, ever," Mattheo adds.
"Better that then go with whatever tossers our parents dig up."
"I've found the both of you asleep in Theodore's bed on more than one occasion."
"As friends."
"Right. You'd sleep together as friends, but drew the line at hand holding." Daphne says dryly. "You're both hopeless."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Y/n, I damn near saw you hex Theo's hand off in fifth year when he tried to hold your hand, and even that wasn't solid proof that you two weren't already going out." Daphne snorts. "Hopeless."
"C'mon Daph, let's leave the love birds to it then," Mattheo says, gathering his papers. "Make good choices. Don't do anything I'd do," he calls as the two of them make a quick exit.
As soon as the door slams shut, you turn to look at Theo as if to ask 'what on Earth was that about?'
âThey make fair points,â he says with a shrug, pulling you onto the bed with him.
"We weren't being obvious about anything Theodore. There was nothing there to begin with." You reply, allowing him to pull you onto his chest.
You knew there hadn't been anything there before, or at least you thought there wasn't, because this was all very new. Sure before you might've fallen asleep in the same bed after staying up until 3 am studying for your charms exam, but you'd certainly never seen Theodore look at you like this before. And you'd certainly never felt his hand creep under your shirt to rub soft circles across your rib cage. You'd definitely never felt your heart try to beat out of your chest like this. Or maybe you had.
"Is it really so absurd to think we've always been so close?" Theo asks, eyes very clearly focused on your lips. Not that you noticed of course.
"Maybe not," you reply, letting your head fall to rest on the boy's chest.
This was nice you thought to yourself as Theo's lips pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.
"How long do you want to keep going?" Theo asks after a moment.
"Don't know," you reply, feeling his eyes on you as you continue gazing out at the sky in front of you.
"Another month?" Theo asks carefully, pulling you ever closer.
You can feel your heart begin to race at the idea of it all ending so soon. You shake your head.
"You want to end it sooner?" Theo asks, voice wavering ever so slightly.
You shake your head again. You hear Theodore's sharp breath as he realizes your implication and you feel yourself growing increasingly more nervous as the silence stretches on.
You'd really, truly never allowed yourself to consider the idea of ending up with Theo. You knew that simply wasn't how the world worked. And frankly the idea of rejection couldn't even be a possibility. You couldn't allow yourself to lose your best friend. Or maybe you could. This was all his idea to begin with after all.
"What if we just kept going?" You ask finally, feeling the weight of the world lift off your shoulders.
Theo's arms tear away from you as he turns you to face him, hand holding your chin firmly in place, forcing your eyes to meet.
"Don't play with me like this, principessa," he says, voice all seriousness as his eyes scan your face, searching for anything that might suggest you're joking with him.
"I'm not."
And just like that, Theo's lips are on yours once more. They seemed to find themselves there a lot lately, melting your mind to absolute mush as he pulled you closer. You could feel your back, now pressed up against one of the marble pillars of the tower as Theo's lips moved slowly from your lips to your jawline, and carefully down the side of your neck.
"You can say you love me now," He whispers into your ear, his warm breath giving you chills as his hands continue to wander.
"I love you," you gasp out.
"Sorry, who?" he pushes, leaving little pecks across your jawline once more.
"Theo. I love you, Theodore," You say finally, just as Theo presses another kiss to your lips.
"And I love you, amore."
Did I start this well over a year ago? Yes I did, thank you for asking. Did I change the title three different times? Absolutely I did. Am I posting this before editing? Also yes. Cope.
#slytherin boys#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott fanfic#theodore nott fanfiction#theo nott#theo nott x y/n#theo nott fanfiction#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott fic#theo nott x reader#theodore nott x you#slytherin
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the second account.
pairings: franco colapinto + singer female reader.
summary: after franco accidentally exposes his secret twitter account, fans accuse him of being delusional about his supposed relationship with you.
faceclaim: malina weissman.â warning: none.
request: could you make a franco and singer!reader where he "shows off" his girlfriend on his secret twitter acc but her fans don't believe him so she decides to surprise them by finally making a music video of "bed chem" casting him?
notes: messy dates, as usual. a brief use of gracie abrams for the music video part. and i know franco would put everything in spanish but it had to be in english for u guys. thank you so much for the request, i had a lot of fun making it. :)
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translations: âevery time she sings i forget how to breath, do you guys think itâs a medical conditionâ âmy pretty princessâ âcheck out her eyes, dudeâ âgood morning to my girlfriend and my girlfriend onlyâ âiâm head over heels for her what do i doâ âno one sings like she does, manâ
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francolapinto added to their story.
yourusername and others liked your story.
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liked by username, username1 and others
yndaily day 1 of using @/francolapintoâs tweets as captions: âimagine waking up and the first thing you see is ynâs face. a dream for you, a reality for meâ
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username NOOOO THIS IS SO FUNNY PLS KEEP THIS GOING
username1 if i looked like this, iâd just walk around expecting people to fall in love with me
username2 franco is gonna see this and panic
username3 petition for this to become a daily series until he acknowledges it
username4 itâs crazy how all his tweets work as captions bc heâs LITERALLY a yn fanpage
username5 okay but why is she actually the most beautiful person alive
yourusername i fully support this, keep going
username6 sheâs so chronically online IM CRYING
username7 SHES INSANE LMAOOOO
username8 @/francolapinto i get you man
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43updates @yndaily has inspired us to start talking about franco the way he tweets about yn, wish us luck
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43updates guys what if iâm actually yn and iâm doing this to bother him
username9 iâve never seen you and yn on the same room
43updates đ
43updates joke it canât be me, iâm clearly unemployed⊠like SOMEONE I KNOW
username8 PLEASE letâs make him experience the secret account treatment
username7 he has created monsters i fear
francolapinto i suddenly understand how this might have looked from the outside, PARAAĂ
francolapinto but i mean, if youâre gonna do it, go all in. but NO ONE, can talk about me the way i talk about her
username6 LMAO, yeah okay, âherâ, you mean the girl you run a fan account for?
username5 are u confirming or denying this iâm confused
username4 girl we need receipts, you look delusional
username3 weâve been through this already, no one believes you đđ
username2 franco finally getting a taste of his own medicine
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yourusername bed chem video drops tomorrow!! đ i couldnât be more excited for you all to see it. itâs one of my favorite projects yet, and i had the best co-star.
also, since you guys are basically detectives. yes, this is my boyfriend. yes, heâs been running an account to talk about me this whole time. and no, i did not ask him to do that. but i was aware of it and i love him.
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yourusername p.s. heâs been mentally preparing for this moment since the second account incident. be nice to him!!!!
francolapinto please!! iâve suffered enough
username NO WAY i need a moment
username2 SHE JUST SAID IT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING HELLO??? đ
username3 âyes, this is my boyfriendâ GIRL I HAVE BEEN HAVING A MELTDOWN FOR WEEKS
yoursister you two are perfect together!! đ„č
francolapinto but seriously, every day with you is my favorite. you already know that, but saying it here too just in case, te amo đ€ â„ïž liked by author
yourusername iâll put you in my pocket starting now, te amo mĂĄs <3
username3 forget it when i said this was one sidedâŠ
oliviarodrigo need all the behind-the-scenes footage!!
francolapinto also hi. yes boyfriend here, happy to be included!! â„ïž liked by author
francolapinto and for the record, my account was NOT a fan account. it was a highly curated appreciation page. thereâs a difference
username4 five comments from him, heâs so obsessed đđ
username4 the way we all thought he was a lovesick fan and turns out he was just a boyfriend with too much free time
francolapinto iâm trying to not take any offence by this
username5 this is the funniest celebrity hard launch ever
alex_albon wow. shocking. so unexpected. truly a plot twist.
yourusername â
username6 sheâs so funny for that caption đđ
username7 he was running a whole stan account for his own girlfriend and she just let him
username8 his twitter account was a love letter, iâm gonna be sick
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©â piastrisun original work. please donât translate, claim or repost any of my writing, 25â.
#piastrisun: work#piastrisun: smau#piastrisun: requests#f1 x reader#franco colapinto x reader#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#f1 imagine#franco colapinto x you#franco colapinto fic
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Hi! Can you please write more Jinx forcing her love on reader.
Or maybe part 2 of You are mine and only mine?
(only if you want to of course.)
I will make you mine
Jinx x Fem!Reader
Warnings: smut, forced love, marking, mentions of blood, violence
You woke up in a room with dim light, finding yourself with your hands tied behind your back, not remembering how you got into this situation, getting startled when a woman with blue hair appeared in front of you, she had a wide grin on her face, her pink eyes staring into yours.
âFinally! You are awake my love!â She said with a cheerful laugh, making you frown. Did she just say my love to you? You didnât even know her. âDo I know you?â You asked, making her chuckle as she sat on the table in front of you. âNo. But I know you. Iâve been stalking you for a while. Couldnât get my eyes off you. I just had to bring you here so we can finally be together.â She explained and this made you feel even more scared of her. The way she just told you she stalked you so casually as if it was the most normal thing. You knew that woman was crazy.
âAre you serious?? Let me go!â You squirmed but the rope around your wrists only tightened more as you tried to get free. âOh come on. Donât be silly. Why would I let my love go? Now that I have you here, I will make sure you will only want me and no one else.â She told you as her hand moved to caress your cheek, the feeling of her cold hand on your skin sending shivers down your spine.
âI just couldnât see you talking with other women, the way they looked at youâŠthe way they smiled at you and you smiled backâŠit made me sick.â She spat out those words as her nails dig into your soft skin on your cheek. You didnât need to hear more to know that she was insane. âWhy didnât you just approach me then instead of kidnapping me?â You dared to ask, waiting for an answer but she only used her free hand to grab her gun and holding it against your temple. âDo you think I am joking? I am Jinx, I donât approach and askâŠI take whatâs mine.â She said with a purr, you realising that she indeed wasnât joking and as soon as she told you her name, you knew who she was, making you feel even more nervous. She was well known in Zaun but you never cared, nor did you pay attention to what she looked like but now you knew who kidnapped you and her actions didnât surprise you anymore.
Jinx still held her gun against your temple while her other hand made sure to hold you by your chin, a smirk forming from her lips as she leaned in closer. She was about to kiss you. You were scared to pull away or refuse it in any way, scared she would pull the trigger so you squeezed your eyes shut and let it happen. The kiss was surprisingly soft, something you didnât expect at all. Her lips felt soft against yours as well, it was a forced kiss but you surprisingly didnât feel disgusted by it. When she pulled back, her smile only widened, there was a spark in her eyes that showed you she really was in love with you which was weird since she didnât even talk to you before, she only knew you by stalking you.
She didnât even give you time to even react as she put her gun away and with a swift movement Jinx had her little knife in her hand, leaning down to you, close enough to your ear. âListenâŠI wonât let anyone else touch you, they shouldnât even talk to you or look at you in a certain wayâŠoh no I will make it visible for them that you are MINE!â
You suddenly felt a sharp stinging pain in your arm, making you whince in pain, blood dripping down on the floor as Jinx carved her name into it. ïżœïżœïżœFuck! Stop it! Please stop you are hurting me!â You begged, not being able to stop your tears from streaming down your cheeks. Jinx on the other hand giggled, happy about her finished work before cutting the rope that held your wrists together, proudly looking at your lower arm where she just did her work. Your gaze moving down to look at it, eyes widen as you saw your bloody arm with âJinxâ carved into your flesh.
âI did this for usâŠonly for us. So no one will even dare to talk to you, you are only mine. Your eyes should only focus in me, your mind only thinking about me and your heart only beating for meâŠâ Jinx spoke with a manic chuckle, she looked happy and you couldnât stop more tears from falling, being in pain and at the same time being terrified, flinching when Jinx cupped your cheeks. The sweet look in her face totally not matching her actions. âOh donât cry my love. It will stop hurting I promise. You just need to accept that you are mine. I be good to you I promise.â She said while her thumbs gently wiped your tears away.
âY-You are crazy.â Was the only thing you could spit out but she ignored it, instead of feeling offended, she leaned back so she could take iff her own top, exposing herself in front of you. âCrazy in love with youâŠyeahâŠand you love me. Just admit it.â She smirked, literally shoving your face against her breasts, forcing you to pleasure her. You knew refusing would make her angry and it wonât end good for you if you did so you gave in, praying that you wonât have to die in the end. You squeezed your eyes shut, beginning to place kisses on her chest and taking her nipple between your teeth, gently sucking and biting on it, gaining soft moans from her. âAh~ thatâs it. Thatâs my girl.â She hummed, grabbing a fist full of your hair before pulling on it, making you look up at her with a groan, slamming her lips against yours to kiss you roughly this time.
Before your lips parted, Jinx bit down in your lower lip, making it bleed before running her tongue along it, enjoying the iron taste. âPleaseâŠwhat do you want from me?âŠâ You said with a shaky breath, making her look at you with a smile. âYour love.â She simply answered, forcing you to make a decision. Loving her or probably dying. âYa knowâŠif I canât have youâŠnobody can. I can blow us up together. You decide.â Jinx twirled a bomb in her hand she just removed from her belt. This woman was crazy enough to really do it. So you gave in, you didnât want to die. âFineâŠâ You nod, making her giggle like a happy little child before she leaned down again, leaving some pecks on your lips while speaking in between kisses. âYay! I loveâŠyouâŠso much!â
âŠ
After you decided obeying her, Jinx brought you to her âbedâ which was a mattress with a lot of pillows and blankets on it. You both being naked and your body being already covered in hickeys and bites. She liked marking you for sure.
âLets see what you can do with that beautiful tongue of yoursâŠâ Jinx moved, sitting on your face without any more warning, literally taking your breath away. Your tongue darting out to lick along her wet folds, flicking over her clit and moving inside of her, making her moan softly at your actions. Your hands held her hips to keep her up, you had a hard time keeping her legs from crushing you when she got closer to her orgasm, especially with the pain in your arm. âFuck! Oh god yes! Keep on eating me out so good like that babyâŠugh I need it!â Jinx moaned out and you wanted to make her cum, sucking and licking her harder than before, noticing her hips twitching as she came, riding out her orgasm on your face, smearing her slick all over your face. âFuuckâŠâ She groaned, getting off your face before kissing you, tasting herself on you before running her tongue along your lips, cheek and neck. That woman was messy for sure but you started not minding it at all.
âJ-Jinx I-âŠâ You started but she cupped your face with her hand, making you look up at her, her pink eyes piercing into yours. âShhhâŠdonât say anything. I want you to taste all of meâŠâ She mentioned, opening her mouth and holding yours open with her thumb before she let her tongue out, letting her saliva drip into your mouth. You felt your crotch already pulsing from excitement, wanting to feel her, your body was aching for her. You went from being scared for your life to being drunk for pleasure, almost completely ignoring the pain and all the things she said before.
You swallowed her spit, your breath getting heavier, your tongues touching each other before she sucked on yours, moaning before pulling away, she was ready for more and so were you. âFuck I need to make you cum.â Junx said with a raspy voice, adjusting herself between your legs before painfully slow rubbing her clit against yours, making you whine. âUghhâŠplease fuck meâŠâ You begged, blushing hard at your own words, you never thought you would say that to Jinx. The blue haired girl didnât mind though, she got you right where she wanted you.
âMhhâŠI am gonna go harder on you but first I wanna hear itâŠâ She teased you with slow movements, making you almost lose your mind. âF-fuckâŠI love you. I love you Jinx! Please fuck me, I am only yours.â You started begging more and your words sending a rush of pleasure and happiness through Jinxâs body, making it hard for herself to keep teasing you.
Her hips started moving faster, literally slamming against you as she grinded her wet cunt against yours harder, the sound of your wetness filling up the room mixed with your moaning. Every time her clit moved from your entrance up to your clit you felt a wave of pleasure down your spine, a shiver you never felt before. Jinxâs painted chipped nails digging into the flesh of your waist as she kept you in place. The way her wet cubt slammed against yours now, creating a pool of wetness underneath you made it hard to hold back, both being so wet and slippery, you just couldnât hold it anymore. âI-I cant-âŠ! Ugh! I am gonna-âŠâ
You couldnât even finish your sentence, getting cut off by your own loud moan as you reached your orgasm, your cum gushing out of your pussy and Jinx reaching her own orgasm just right after you, making a mess on you as your bodies trembled, cunts pulsing against each other as you ride out your orgasms.
You were breathing heavily as Jinx let herself fall down on top if you, your arms instinctively moved around her to keep her close. What just happened was incredible, a mixture of being scared, in pain and being in pleasureâŠyou couldnât describe it. Lost for words but of course Jinx wasnât out of words even though she was panting heavily now as well.
âHehâŠyou are officially mine nowâŠfinallyâŠâ She whispered, placing a sweet kiss on your cheek as if she didnât kidnap you and forced you to love her. But you canât deny the fact that it worked.
#fanfiction#female reader#x reader#x fem!reader#short imagine#lgbtq#arcane#arcane fanfic#jinx#jinx x fem!reader#jinx fanfic#jinx smut#jinx x reader#jinx arcane#arcane smut#smut scenarios#wlw smut#smut
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cold, cursed city (part 2)
summary: You wish your best friend would just leave your budding relationship alone.
pairings: beomgyu x fem!reader, soobin x fem!reader
word count: 26k
tags: ANGST, smut (MDNI), best friend and roommate!beomgyu, crush!soobin, possessiveness, manipulation, arguments, very bad reckless dumb decisions, codependency, beomgyu gets a bit crazy
smut tags: multiple smut scenes yet again sigh, switch!gyu, switch!reader, handjob, masturbation, fingering, squirting lollll, praise, degradation, pet names (puppy, baby, etc), overstimulation, edging, dacryphilia, mind breaking kinda, utilization of a mirror, some pussy slapping, dubcon!! please beware!
notes: the smut here is so depravedddjshjshdjdjhs đ mind the angst in all caps btw⊠donât get too mad at me LMAO. this is the final part btw! enjoyyyy<3
Being home feels so awkward now. You feel like you have to avoid Beomgyu, and thatâs something you never would have imagined. You wonder if thereâs any going back now in your friendship. Will it ever be normal again? It will take some time, you think, but you donât doubt it. You canât doubt it. Itâs just that you need some time right now.
A part of you is thankful that he leaves you alone. It reprieves you of the constant guilt you were battling with, and you can talk to Soobin without feeling like a liar. Another part of you is terrified that heâs leaving you alone. Itâs so unlike him to not be clingy and talkative. You wonder what heâs been going through these past few days.
You donât even eat dinner together anymore. When you get home from work, you grab something quick to eat and go to your room as soon as youâre finished. The only times youâve seen Beomgyu since your last conversation is in passing, when you see his figure walk down the hall or pop back into his room.
You really hope heâs okay. You canât stand to dwell on it too much, obsessing over how he might be dealing with this. Maybe itâs been easy for him. Honestly, he probably needed this too. He must have been going insane the same way you were in his attempts to keep you to himself.
But you do miss him. You miss him when youâre sitting at the table, staring at an empty chair across from you. You miss him when youâre wiping off your makeup, looking for his presence behind you in the mirror. You miss him when youâre laying in bed, watching a movie on your laptop all alone. You miss him a lot.
Youâre getting ready for work, staring blankly at yourself in the mirror as you fix your hair. You donât really have anything to look forward to today. Youâre not seeing Soobin after work, Chaewonâs been busy all week, and Beomgyuâs not talking to you. Maybe youâll invite one of your other friends to hang out later. You hate feeling so lonely.
You grab your purse and head to the kitchen, opening a breakfast bar to eat before you put on your jacket and shoes. Youâre about to head out, but a small bright-colored paper on your fridge catches your attention. That wasnât there last night. You step closer to the fridge and lean in to read the post-it note.
Wonât be back till late tonight. Also eat up the fruits theyâre gonna go bad!
Huh, you wonder why he didnât just text you that. You take the note off the fridge and fold it neatly into your pocket. Your hand is wrapped around it for the whole duration of your walk to work.
When you get back home, you already know what youâll eat for dinner. You feel a little happier than you have been the past few days as you bite down on the fruits, feeling giddy at the smallest hint of reconnection with Beomgyu. Not talking to him for so long was taking a toll on you.
After you finish cleaning up, you decide to write Beomgyu a note too.
Fruit is all done. Mission accomplished
With a satisfied smile, you stick the post-it on the same spot Beomgyu put his. Maybe a part of you hopes heâll hang onto it the same way you did with his.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
Beomgyu normally isnât awake when you leave for work; today, he is. You stop in your tracks for a second when you see him sitting at the table, resting his head on his arms. You consider stepping into the bathroom to give him time to run off to his room, but decide against it when he looks at you with brightened eyes.
âGood morning,â he says when you finally enter the kitchen. You give him a small smile.
âYouâre up early,â you note as you grab something quick for breakfast. You keep your distance, standing at the counter even if you yearn to leap into the seat across from him.
âI wanted to talk to you,â he explains simply.
âAbout what?â You keep your guard up.
âAnything,â he says. âI just miss talking to you.â Your standoffish demeanor melts, and your eyes soften. You know how he feels.
âMe too.â You finally move into your seat, excited to finally see something besides an empty chair when you eat here. âWhat have you been up to recently?â
He shrugs. âPlaying games. Sitting in my room. Working. What about you?â
âPretty much nothing,â you answer. While a part of the conversation does feel weird, seeing as youâre trying to reconnect with your literal best friend, it doesnât feel stiff or awkward. Youâre more happy than anything to hear his voice again. Itâs been a long few days.
âWe need to do more with our lives,â Beomgyu laughs. It feels good to see a smile on his face again.
âNo literally, my screen time this week is embarrassing. Netflix has seen me more than you have in the past five days.â You mean it as a lighthearted joke, but Beomgyu only frowns a little at that. He looks away for a few seconds, then back at you with a gleam in his eyes.
âWhy donât we do a movie night tonight then?â he offers. You light up at his suggestion.
âYes! Iâll pick up some take-out for dinner too.â You clasp your hands in excitement. A semblance of normalcy is coming back to you, and it tastes so sweet.
âIâm so happy,â Beomgyu says, and it shows on his face. You resist the urge to pat his head at how cute he is.
âMe too.â You get up from your chair and throw out your trash. âIâve gotta head out now,â you announce, looking at the time.
âOkay, have fun at work!â You feel his stare on you as you gather all your things and move towards the door.
âThanks, Iâll try,â you say before heading out.
Work feels less stressful today. You donât feel as frustrated at your little mistakes as you have been recently. You talk to your coworkers a little more than usual at lunch, and you even offer to help on an overdue project for the company, feeling more generous than usual.
As you walk back home, take-out bag in hand, you find yourself feeling foolish for ever worrying that you and Beomgyu couldnât go back to normal. It was so easy to fall back into this, itâs as if it was second nature. As long as Beomgyu knows not to cross the line, this night will prove that you made the right choice. See, you can have both Soobin and Beomgyu in your life.
Your phone buzzes, and you fish it out of your pocket to check the notification. Itâs a text from Soobin.
[Soobin] Hey, if youâre not busy do you want to grab dinner?
You pout, hating to have to reject him.
Omg I literally just got food :(
[Soobin] Thatâs okay!
[Soobin] Thereâs always tomorrow
Your cheeks hurt from how hard youâre smiling. Today is going so well, you almost canât believe it. Finally, finally you get a day like this, where the world is kind to you again. Suddenly you find yourself more grateful for all the people you have in your life.
Tomorrow it is then!!
Beomgyuâs already sitting on the couch when you enter your apartment. You quickly take off your shoes and jacket so you can dash to your spot next to him, placing the take-out bag on the table in front of you.
âHiii,â you greet while pulling a blanket into your lap.
âYouâre finally back,â he says, smiling. You get yourself cozy as Beomgyu rips open the take-out bag, pulling out all the food.
âYeah, I stayed a little longer to help with a few extra things.â You grab the remote to start scrolling through movie options. âWhat do you feel like watching?â
Beomgyu hums in thought. âSomething scary?â
âThatâs more for autumn, though,â you say. You start scrolling through some comedy movies instead. Those are always fun to watch with Beomgyu.
âWhyâd you ask me what I want to watch then?â he laughs. You hold back your smile and whack his shoulder with the remote. He pouts at you in faux hurt as he places a hand over the impacted spot.
âSame reason you ask me what I want for dinner.â You scroll past a bunch of movies, trying to find one you havenât seen that actually looks interesting. Itâs a difficult task when you and Beomgyu have already watched so many movies together.
âItâs gonna take longer to find a movie than it is to watch one,â Beomgyu complains through a mouthful of food.
âEw, finish chewing.â You keep your eyes on the screen, but you see him snicker in your peripheral. You finally land on a movie that sounds compelling, turning to Beomgyu to gauge his reaction.
He nods. âThis oneâs good.â You click on it and turn up the volume, then abandon the remote in favor of grabbing some food.
It feels just like a movie night a month ago would have felt. You fill the air with laughter and banter, and you canât wipe the smile off your face. The only difference this time is that when you finish eating, you donât cuddle into Beomgyuâs side. You have to be more mindful of keeping space between you now.
You laugh so hard at one point that you have to pause the movie to catch your breath and wipe your tears. âOh my god, this was so needed,â you say to Beomgyu, still fighting off the last of your laughter.
âIt literally was,â he agrees. âThe past few days were legit the worst of my life.â
Your laughter finally dies when you hear that. âThe worst? Why?â
Beomgyu laughs a little, but it doesnât sound genuine. âI was scared that you hated me now.â
You turn your head to Beomgyu, but he doesnât look back at you. God, did he seriously think that? You would never hate him. A weight falls onto your shoulders, and your heart aches.
âWell, donât think like that ever again,â you say. He finally looks at you. You channel all your sincerity into your gaze. âEven if Iâm mad at you, I still love you. Youâre my best friend.â
It takes a second for him to react. He gives you a small smile that looks awfully forced, then looks down at his lap. âI love you too,â he says. You donât want to ruminate on how weird that felt, so you take the remote to resume the movie.
âBack to watching,â you say, leaning back into the couch.
Once you finish the movie, Beomgyu helps you clean the mess on the table, and the light mood persists. Youâre glad that you didnât ruin your friendship with Beomgyu, cause you only feel this comfortable and at ease with a select few people. When you go to bed, you almost cry thinking about your day. You knew that you were having a hard time, but you didnât realize how hard it was until you got a slice of your normal life back.
A feeling aside from happiness grows in your chest too, something more reflective: you feel proud of yourself. It was hard setting your boundaries with Beomgyu, but youâre so glad you did. Even this one day serves as evidence that you made the right choice.
You can barely fall asleep because youâre so happy, but you have work tomorrow, so you force your eyes shut and wait impatiently to see what the day brings.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
âHow have you been?â Soobin asks as you seat yourself in front of him. The restaurant he chose is a warm, cozy one, which is a relief. You were worried that he might pick somewhere too fancy, because you had no time to change out of your office attire.
âIâve actually been pretty good, how about you?â Youâve been looking forward to talking to Soobin again. Ever since he asked you to be his girlfriend, youâve been itching to feel ready for the label. You wonât force it upon yourself, but you know youâll be there soon. Youâre once again reminded of how lucky you are that Soobinâs willing to wait for you.
âIâm good too,â he answers. You love his smile, you hope he never stops giving it to you. The two of you catch up a bit on life, talking about work and friends. He seems to have been busy this week.
The food at the restaurant is great, but thatâs no surprise because Soobin always knows the best places in the city. The night passes quickly, and you find yourself walking back home all too soon. He accompanies you when you ask him to walk you to your apartment. You blamed it on how late it is, but itâs actually because you want more time with him.
âAre you free on Saturday?â Soobin asks, looking at you with hopeful eyes.
âFor you, yes. What do you have in mind?â You want to hold his hand so bad, but you donât know if youâre at that stage yet. You crave the weight of his hand in your own, swinging between the two of you. You want to lean into his side and engulf yourself in the brewing romance.
âI was wondering if youâd like to meet my friends? Iâve been talking about you a lot, and I know I promised you Iâd introduce them.â
You light up at that, making sure to look up at him so he sees your grin. âThat would be so fun.â
Youâre thrilled at the idea that he talks about you with his friends a lot. Whew. Good thing youâre already outside, cause you need the fresh air. Heâs everything you could ask for in a man.
âWeâd be meeting at my place if thatâs okay,â he says, sounding a little shy as he brings it up. You canât hold yourself back nowâyou grab his hand and squeeze it excitedly.
âOf course! Iâm dying to see your home. And your friends.â You can imagine the nerdy little decorations he might have lying around his place. Youâd let him ramble about each and every little trinket for hours on end if he wanted to.
Youâve arrived at your street all too soon, finding yourself wanting to slow your steps to get a little more time with Soobin. âThank you for taking me out today,â you say as you see your apartment come into view. You stop walking so that you can fully turn your body toward him. You just want one last good look before youâre off.
âThanks for giving me the time,â he responds. His warm, sincere words always find the right way to strike your heart.
âIâll see you Saturday, then.â You send him a parting smile, backing up a couple steps. âGood night, Soobin.â
âGood night.â
As you walk away, you have a revelation. Your body aches to run back to him, you feel like youâre missing something and you canât quite end the night yet. Thereâs something that leaves you feeling only half fulfilled. Thereâs something more you crave.
You wanted to kiss Soobin. Your wish is left ungranted, lips tingling with the feeling of what could have been.
Your feet pause for just a second when the realization hits you again. You wanted to kiss Soobin. You wanted to feel his arms around you, wrapped in a hug that meant more than just a hug. You wanted to hold his face in your hands, feel the warmth of his skin beneath your palms. You wanted to kiss him.
Oh, your poor heart. Where do you store all this longing?
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
Saturday comes faster than you anticipate. You change into outfit after outfit, trying to find the perfect thing to wear. You donât want to over dress, but you donât want to look like you donât care at all either. What do you even wear to a get together for a friend group you donât know?
You settle on a cute dress that you bought while shopping with Chaewon some time ago. Itâs modest enough to wear casually, but pretty enough to make you feel confident in it. Youâll have to wear tights to save your legs from the cold, but thatâs okay. You move to your vanity so you can do your hair, looking at yourself in every angle in the mirror.
âWhere are you headed?â The sudden voice startles you, and you turn around to see Beomgyu standing by your door. You didnât even notice him enter your room. You wonder how long heâs been there.
You look back in the mirror, fixing your hair. âJust meeting some people,â you answer. Beomgyu steps closer to you, only stopping once thereâs just a few inches separating you. You look at him through the mirror. His eyes trail down your body.
âWell, you look pretty.â He fixes the strap of your dress on your shoulder.
Your face heats up, and you forget what you were about to do. âThank you.â
His hand trails down your arm and stops at your elbow, rubbing your skin. âWonât you be cold?â
âI have a jacket. Plus, Iâll be indoors,â you answer.
He hums and nods. âAre you coming back tonight?â
âI think so. If not, then Iâll be at Soobinâs place.â
For the first time, Beomgyu has the decency to not make a face when you bring up Soobin. Instead, he looks away and lets out a heavy exhale. Well, improvement is improvement. Youâll take it.
âWho else will be there?â he asks.
âSome of his friends.â You see him tense a bit at your side from the information. A slight unease fills you, but you donât let it consume your mood. Tonight will be fun. You canât let anything ruin it already.
âAre they all guys?â
You pause for a second in thought. âIâm not sure.â
He looks down and shakes his head in disbelief. âSo youâre going to his place with a bunch of random guys?â
You pucker your lips and look down, feeling like youâre getting scolded. Was this a bad decision? Maybe you should have done this at a public place. Beomgyuâs words worry you. Soobinâs not that kind of guy, though, and youâre sure his friends are just as great as he is. Heâs thoughtful and always concerned about your feelings. You shouldnât be nervous.
âI trust him,â you say, making Beomgyu scoff. âGyu, please.â
âIâm sorry. Iâm just⊠worried.â He meets your eyes in the mirror. He really does look worried. You realize that maybe itâs not selfishness driving his words this time, not the need to keep you to himself, but the need to make sure youâre safe. Your heart softens at that.
âIâll be okay,â you promise, giving him a small smile. âIâll call you if anything goes wrong.â He nods and stays quiet for a second.
âWhere does he live?â Beomgyu asks. You freeze at his question, but heâs quick to explain, âSo I know where to go if something happens.â
He means well, youâre sure, but youâre still wary about giving him Soobinâs address. Of course you understand his concern, but another part of you wonders what heâll do with it if nothing happens. He doesnât exactly have a great streak with Soobin.
Is this you being paranoid? You feel like you have a legitimate reason to be cautious, but you also feel bad for thinking about your best friend like heâs some freak thatâll show up to Soobinâs house for no reason.
âIâll just share my location if it comes to that.â You hope he doesnât feel offended.
âLet me walk you to his place at least,â Beomgyu pleads. You sigh, trying not to look at him and focusing on your appearance instead.
âDonât be so worried. Iâll be back by ten. Does that make you happier?â
He doesnât hide his smile. âYou know it does. You should watch me play League when you get back.â
You roll your eyes. âWatch you get it on with your one true love?â
âWeirdo. I love more things than just League.â
âLike Overwatch?â That earns you a smack to the back of your head. âHey! Careful with my hair!â
You catch a glimpse of the time when your phone lights up, and you realize youâve been taking too long to get ready. Why does time only fly in the most inconvenient moments? You take one final glance at yourself, ignoring Beomgyuâs frame in the mirror beside you.
âYou sure you donât need me to walk you there?â Beomgyu asks. You turn to him with a smile, and it takes a surprising amount of effort to not go up and loop your hands around his neck. You canât help but feel endeared by his cuteness. You stay quiet for a few seconds just to look into his eyes.
âIâm sure,â you finally answer. âIâll see you in a few hours.â Beomgyu sits on your bed, and you wonder if thatâs where he plans on staying while youâre out.
âBe safe,â he says as youâre heading out of your room.
You look over your shoulder with a grin. âNo promises!â The flash of fear on his face makes you laugh. âIâm just kidding!â
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
You gather your breath as you stand before Soobinâs door, not wanting to knock until youâve fully collected yourself. Your heart races in anticipationâwell, also because you walked twice as fast as usual to get here, but mostly anticipation. Soobin seemed to get along with your friends, so you can assume that his friends should get along just fine with you too.
Finally, you tap your knuckles against the door, swaying on your feet as you wait for Soobin to emerge. Itâs cold outside, the kind of cold where your breath fogs up with even the tiniest exhale, so you hope heâs quick to answer your knock.
You give Soobin a hug as soon as he opens the door. Part of it is to feed off some of his warmth, but most of it is because youâre excited to see him. His arms wrap around you to hold you close to him, and he doesnât let go until you do.
âAre your friends here yet?â you ask when you pull away.
âYes, theyâre in the living room,â he answers. âDid you want a drink or anything?â
You shake your head. Youâre too impatient to see his friends, wondering what kind of people he hangs out with. You follow him into the living room, and your eyes immediately fall on the two boys on the couch. It makes sense that his friend group is on the smaller side. They must be very close.
You wave and introduce yourself to his friends cheerfully. They do the same, and you learn that his friends are named Taehyun and Kai. Kai seems just as shy and endearingly awkward as Soobin, but Taehyun is pretty quick to open up to you. You find yourself talking to him a lot. Youâre glad that youâre not the only chatty person here.
âSo howâd you guys meet?â you eventually ask them, interested in how their friend group formed. The question makes Kai and Soobin laugh.
âI was friends with both of them before they knew each other,â Taehyun starts, leaning forward as he tells the story. âI had this match I wanted them to watchââ
âMatch?â you interrupt, tilting your head.
âYeah, I was really into boxing at the time.â
Your eyebrows shoot up at the information. That explains his muscular physique. You canât imagine Soobin watching a boxing match, though. âOh, boxing, wow.â
âObviously I won the match, but thatâs beside the point.â
âYou did not win,â Soobin chimes in with an incredulous laugh.
âYes I did! I literally won by knockout!â Taehyun defends.
âI still feel like the other guy got way more hits in than you,â Soobin says.
âI think youâre just still mad from what happened that night.â That piques your interest.
âWhy? What happened?â you ask.
âHeâs gonna tell it way more dramatically than it was,â Soobin warns.
âThatâs probably true,â Kai chimes in.
âIâll say exactly what happened,â Taehyun starts. âAfter my match, I went to Soobin and Kai, and we all got to talking. Eventually, I brought them to the practice rooms so I could show them some basic MMA moves.â
âAfter basically forcing us to!â Soobin exclaims. âI tried to say no!â
Taehyun starts laughing already, seemingly caught up in the memory. It puts a smile on your face as you wait for him to finish the story. âThese guys start swinging with the weakest moves Iâve seen in my life,â he says through his laughter. âAnd I was trying to motivate them, but when I pushed the sandbag so it would swing toward Soobin, it hit him so hard it knocked him over.â
You cover your mouth with your hands, concealing your amusement and looking towards Soobin to gauge his reaction to the story. He wears a sheepish smile and leans his head down, rubbing his arm to ease his embarrassment. Taehyunâs still laughing his ass off when you look back at him.
Kai stands to Soobinâs defense, âHe didnât really get knocked over, he just stumbled back.â
âHe did more than stumble back,â Taehyun says. âHe had his arms swinging in circles to save himself and everything.â That image gets a chuckle out of you.
âSo upon my first impression of Soobin, I could tell he was on the unathletic side. I kind of am too, though,â Kai says.
âDonât worry, Soobin. I donât think Iâd fare any better in the MMA world,â you say.
âWe can be the world class losers of boxing instead,â he jokes.
The night lives on with lots of laughter and snacks. You start playing card games at one point, to which they have to extensively explain the rules first, and you end up having more fun than you expected to have. Turns out youâre not too shabby of a Spades player.
Taehyun and Kai head out after a couple hours, saying goodbye to you and telling you that they hope to see you again soon. You actually enjoyed yourself a lot today, so you wouldnât mind seeing them again either.
Once Soobinâs friends are out the door, it leaves just the two of you in his living room. You see Soobin yawning and stretching out in his chair. âAre you tired?â you ask. His sleepy nod makes you laugh a little.
âYou can sleep on my bed if you want. Iâll take the couch,â Soobin offers. What a sweetheart. You must be smiling so stupidly, but you canât help it. Your heart is a fickle thing.
âThank you, but I promised Beomgyu Iâd come back home tonight,â you say.
Soobin looks out the window. âItâs so dark out, though. And itâs freezing, your jacket wonât be enough. Your legs will be ice.â
âItâs okay, Iâm good at handling the cold.â You arenât really, but you donât want him to worry. He frowns, looking down at your outfit.
âYou didnât have to dress up for me. I think you look pretty in everything. Iâd love for you to dress warmly next time.â Thereâs a distinct hammering in your chest now. His compliment makes you weak in the knees.
He grabs your coat and delivers it to you. You thank him as you put it on, zipping it all the way up to prepare for the cold. You smile up at him in hopes that it eases his worries.
âLet me grab you a winter hat,â Soobin says, disappearing for a minute. He emerges once more with a beanie in hand, placing it on your head for you. âThere. To keep your ears warm.â
âThank you,â you say, looking down at yourself shyly. Youâre not the type to get all flustered and quiet, but something about Soobin brings it out of you.
âThanks for seeing me, and for meeting my friends.â You meet his eyes again when he says that.
âOf course. Today was fun,â you say. You stare at each other for a few long seconds as you linger by his door. You donât really want to leave.
Soobin is every bit as handsome as ever, and suddenly itâs killing you that youâre not all over him. You want to grab his shoulders and pull him close, let your souls intertwine for just a few moments. You want to feel his breath on your face, you want his eyes on your lips and a yearning to stir inside him.
Your heart jumps, every thought in your head is filled with something about kissing Soobin. Youâre so easily reduced to instincts when your mind is clouded like this. Your face is pulled by some unknown force closer and closer toward his face. Your eyelids flutter, and you tilt your head just slightly.
All to meet nothing.
âNot yetâŠâ Soobin says, slowly retracting his face. You watch him back away from you, and the inches start to feel like miles. A sense of humiliation washes over you. Your face heats up. Why did you do that?
âIâm sorry,â you whisper, looking up at him apologetically. At least he doesnât seem mad or upsetâthat would kill you.
He shakes his head and smiles. âDonât be.â He presses his lips to your forehead. You reach for his hand, holding it so that you know he wonât try to leave. He accepts your touch easily, lacing your fingers together and staring into your eyes. Thereâs a warmth in there that makes you want to lean in and try to kiss him again, but your humility saves you from that.
âCan I ask, when will you be ready?â Your voice is meek, and a part of you almost fears his answer.
âWhenever youâre ready to call me your boyfriend,â he answers softly, simply. You nod, considering his words. Your gaze must be distant because youâre so deep in your thoughts, wondering if maybe you are ready now.
Does your heart stop at the idea of calling him yours because it entices you, or because it scares you? You donât want to waste Soobinâs time standing here to contemplate it; you know youâre going to need more than a couple minutes to figure this out. No matter how much you want to, you canât act on impulse with himâyou want to foster a love thatâs true and natural.
âI think Iâll have that answer soon,â you say.
âDonât worry about it. You could take a year if you need.â His words are so effortless, and he really means it, which pushes your heart further towards a path alongside him.
âIâll see you soon,â you say, blinking up at him sweetly with a small smile.
He squeezes your hands. âSoon canât come soon enough.â
You giggle, then stand on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek. âAs a goodbye present.â His blushing cheeks at your action serve as a goodbye present for you.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
Something changed last night. Your mind canât stray from Soobin for too long, wondering when youâll see him next, what heâs doing right now, how his day has been. You feel a yearning unlike any kind youâve felt before. Your girlish heart has become something weak, so prone to go haywire at the slightest thought of him.
More than anything else, you think of calling him yours. You think of how youâd be able to spend the night at his place, cuddling up to him and falling asleep in his arms. You think of how you could stare into his eyes and call him your boyfriend. You could lean in and kiss him whenever you wanted, you could let him call you sweet pet names.
You think you might be ready. You want to be Soobinâs girlfriend.
Youâre freaking out, body buzzing as you pace around your room, waiting for Chaewon to pick up the phone.
âHeyyyyy,â her voice greets through the phone, and you finally stop pacing to focus on talking.
âI got huge Soobin news,â you say, getting straight to the point.
âTell me!!!â she screeches.
âI think Iâm gonna ask him to be my boyfriend next time I see him.â That earns you an even higher pitched screech.
âShut the fuck up, Iâm so excited! Oh my god. What happened?â
âI literally just canât stop thinking about being in a relationship with him. It feels like Iâm going through withdrawals whenever Iâm not with him. Heâs been wanting to put a label on us, but Iâve been pushing it off till now,â you explain.
âIâm so invested in this. You would be the cutest couple ever. I will gladly be your third wheel and take all your cute Instagram photos for you,â she rambles.
âSo you think itâs a good idea?â Her approval is important to you, and youâre desperate for her to give you a little more confidence in this.
âYes, do it. As long as you make me your maid of honor.â
You laugh, so relieved that Chaewon supports you in this. You hope Beomgyu takes it just as well, but of course thatâs wishful thinking.
âWhatâs the right way to ask him? Should I be casual or go all out with some extravagant date night?â you ask.
âCome on, itâs you weâre talking about. Obviously youâre gonna go crazy with it.â You laugh because sheâs totally right.
âIâm thinking a hotel by the sea and a rose petal path to the bed. And candles, like so many itâs a fire hazard.â
âYes, and then those eat me panties,â she adds. You burst out laughing at the idea. âBody oil too probably.â
âOh, you got the whole vision. You want me to record it for you too?â you tease.
âNo need, Iâll be hiding in your suiteâs closet.â
âThrilling. I finally get to help you live out your voyeuristic dreams.â
âRight? Itâs a win-win,â she says. âBut anyway, how do you think Beomgyuâs gonna react?â
You hum in thought. âI donât know, but weâve pretty much gone back to normal over the past few days. He didnât put up a huge fight when I went to Soobinâs last night.â
âGirl, hold up. You went to Soobinâs place?!â
âYep.â
Sheâs quiet for a second. âDid he rock your world?â You smile and roll your eyes.
âWe didnât have sex, I just met his friends. They were very nice, by the way.â
She tsks. âIâm so mad, you missed out on such a perfect opportunity to sex him up.â
âWell, Iâll let you know when that happens.â
âPlease do.â
âAnyway,â you say, getting back on track. âIâll tell Beomgyu when he gets back from work. I donât think Iâll be able to handle it if he gets all annoying about it. Itâs actually pissing me off just imagining it.â
âDoesnât matter, itâs not his life. You donât even have to tell him,â Chaewon reasons.
âI mean, heâs my best friend, he should know. You and him are the two people I talk to about everything.â
âYeah, but at this point you should be more focused on protecting your peace. What Beomgyu doesnât know wonât hurt him.â
You know that Beomgyu would find out eventually, though, and then heâd be even more mad at you for not saying something sooner. Any peace youâd have would be very temporary and delicate.
Chaewon starts up again, âI honestly think you should tell him after you make things official. That way he canât stop you from doing it.â
You hold back a groan, not wanting to weigh out the options. âHeâll be so upset if I donât tell him first,â you say.
âStill. He knows he can make you halt those plans, and I donât want you getting hurt again.â You frown, but it softens you to hear how much Chaewon cares about your feelings.
âIâve got a few hours until he comes back to decide,â you say.
âJust know that Iâm one hundred percent team âdonât tell himâ. Up to you, though.â
âIâll let you know. Anyway, Iâm gonna go now. Going to rehearse this conversation in my head.â Chaewon laughs and says her goodbye, then you hang up.
You drop onto your bed with a sigh. You hope Beomgyu can keep being normal about Soobin, and a part of you really thinks he can, but what if he hates you after this? He might decide he doesnât want anything to do with you if youâre going to be in a relationship with a guy that he hates. (Hates for no reason, but thatâs not something you choose to dwell on today.)
Beomgyu should understand why you want a love life. You crave a second half, someone who will mold you into a better person and navigate the rest of your life with you. Soobin can soften your rough edges. Heâs got all the patience and goodness of heart that you need in someone. You want to know that a kind of love exists that you have not yet felt, something deeper and more colorful than anything you know. You want Soobinâs eyes to melt you each time you look into them, each time you think of them. Your heart has grown tired of just being a beating thing; it needs to be lit aflame, to burn for someone, to love so hard it doesnât fear ruin.
Do you need Beomgyuâs permission for that? Is it as if heâs some guard to your heart? No, but the threat of conflict from his disapproval unnerves you. You try thinking of the best way to break the news to him.
Some long-winded explanation where you pour out your heart would probably irritate him most. Youâll have to keep yourself from going off on tangentsâthe more you say, the more ammunition he has against you. Itâs not like you have to defend your decision to him.
If youâre too broad or dismissive about it, heâll assume you donât care or youâre hiding something. His accusations peeve you like nothing else, so the more you can avoid that, the better.
Realistically, his reaction doesnât depend on your wording, for the most part. It depends on how mature he is about you getting a boyfriend. If he canât handle the idea, then it wonât matter how you break the news, heâll freak out no matter what. If he can accept that you can have other men in your life, then he wonât give you a hard time about this.
All you can do is hope for the better outcome. You pray that Beomgyu has learned his lesson in maturity by now.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
When you hear Beomgyu open the door, you rush down the hall to him. Youâve spent all day considering how to have the conversation about Soobin, and youâre excited to just get it over with now. The sooner this weight falls off your shoulders, the better.
âHiii,â you greet as you watch him take off his coat and shoes.
âHi. You hungry?â he asks. You shake your head.
âI had lunch an hour ago.â You notice he ordered food somewhere, which he just stuffs in the fridge.
âDo you wanna hang out with me and Yeonjun tomorrow night?â he asks. âWeâre gonna watch some band perform at the common.â
âDepends how I feel after work.â
âAlright. You should definitely come though.â You donât know how to respond to that, so you just donât. Youâve got a different conversation on your mind anyway.
After a few seconds, Beomgyu starts walking off, but you call his name to stop him before he gets too far. He looks at you expectantly, raising his eyebrows.
âI wanted to talk about something,â you say. He remains still for a second, then carefully takes a few steps closer to you.
âBad thing or good thing?â he asks.
You hesitate for a second. âGood thing.â Youâre feeling nervous again, even though you know you shouldnât be. Beomgyuâs been fine. Heâll survive if you tell him this.
âYou donât look like itâs a good thing,â he says. He must have caught on to your anxiety. Your fidgeting hands probably gave it away. You hold them behind your back so you stop fiddling with them. You breathe in as deeply as you can without making it too obvious that youâre calming your nerves.
âI just wanted to tell you that Iâm going to ask Soobin to be my boyfriend.â
You wait for a reaction. He blinks. Is that a good sign? Heâs still breathing, too. Okay, so the news didnât kill him at least.
âYouâre asking him to be your boyfriend?â he repeats, as if he didnât hear you right the first time.
Fuck, why is your heart pounding so hard? âYes.â
He sighs and averts his gaze, looking around for a few awkward seconds. You tighten your lips, not really knowing what to do now.
âYour boyfriend?â he asks again.
You give him a curt nod. âYep.â
You see it flash in his eyes then, something that brings you back to all those times he made your life so difficult. He doesnât even need to say anything for you to start feeling disappointed, that expression was more than enough.
âI tried backing off, but I just canât do it anymore. You canât do this,â he insists. Your head is going to explode. Not this again. Things were going so well.
âStop. I donât want to hear it,â you say, but you know he wonât listen.
âI canât stand it. I hate thinking about how much you like him, how you kiss him, how heâs doing everything I could be doing,â he rambles.
âIâm not hearing this,â you dismiss as you start walking down the hall to your room. You feel Beomgyuâs presence loom behind you. He sure is determined. âKnock it off, Gyu.â
He pushes the door open when you try to close it, stepping in and facing your hard stare. Unsurprisingly, he doesnât back off. You feel inclined to be stubborn and stand your ground too.
âYou want me to change? You want me to be more like him?â he asks. Thereâs something unhinged in his expression. Itâs like heâs losing his grip on his sanity. Fear creeps up your spine, but it doesnât overshadow your frustration.
âNo, I like you the way you are,â you answer.
âNo you donât. If you did, you wouldnât need Soobin.â He sounds angry, you must have really bothered him this time. Thatâs okay. Youâll take this over his pity parties. Itâs easier to fight fire with fire.
âI donât need Soobin, I just like him,â you say.
âThen whatâs wrong with me?â he counters. Heâs really worked up this time, frustration radiating off of him.
âNothing! You need to stop with this!â you exclaim. Youâve never had an argument like this with him, fueled by rage and nothing else. Thereâs no undertones of sadness or attempts to remain calm this time.
âJust tell me you hate me,â he says, stepping closer to you, invading your space. You meet his gaze, unwavering, even if you have to tilt your head up to challenge his stare.
âI donât fucking hate you.â You cross your arms, not letting your guard down.
âThen prove it,â he says. You wonder if your eyes hold as much fire as his do right now. You refuse to back down. You refuse to lose this. He wants you to prove you donât hate him? Fine.
You donât let yourself think about it as you crash your lips onto his. You hold his head still, but itâs not like he was going to run away. He meets your lips with equal amounts passion and frustration. The kiss is nothing friendly or niceâitâs not soft and slow, not sweet, not the dreamlike kiss youâve been waiting to have with Soobin. This feels less like a kiss and more like war.
You donât hold yourself back, sucking and biting at his lips carelessly. Your fingers are pulling so hard at his hair that you know it has to hurt, but you donât care. You hope it does. His hand is on your jaw, keeping you in place so he can lick into your mouth as he pleases.
You hope he tastes your anger on your lips. You hope your tongue feels bitter in his mouth, that it leaves burns in its wake. You hope this kiss will haunt him at night, that heâll feel you lingering hours later, that he sees your face on his ceiling when heâs trying to fall asleep.
He can never settle for friendship. The simple life could have been so good if he accepted it. You were stupid to think heâd let things go back to normal and stay that way. You hate feeling so dumb. You hate being so easy.
âIs that what you fucking wanted?â you ask as you pull away from the kiss. You wipe your mouth to clear the saliva that collected there. He doesnât answer, only pulling you in for another kiss, unforgiving and angry. Your teeth clash and he shoves his tongue into your mouth. He tangles his hands into your hair, pushing you deeper into the kiss.
Youâve never felt so angry at him in your life. You try to channel it all into the kiss, using more force than necessary. He should pay for doing this, for getting under your skin yet again.
He growls into your mouthâyou guess heâs still angry too. Why should he be? Youâre making out with him and no one else. If he wants to complain about that, then he must really be losing his mind.
You walk him backwards until he sits back on your bed, disconnecting your mouths so you can look down at him. His lips are swollen and coated with saliva. Heâs hungryâstarvingâand canât stand not touching you for even a second, so he grabs your hips and pulls you onto the bed with him.
There goes those walls you built up. There goes those weeks of putting in effort towards you and Soobin. You lose, again. Is this how it will always be with him? Was he playing the long game all along?
He knows you better than anyone. If anyone could figure out a way to set your life off course, it would be Beomgyu.
You have to get even with him. You have to stop taking everything lying down. You stare at him, who looks up at you like heâs waiting for your next move. Fucking prick. Youâll show him.
You shove his pants past his hips and pull his cock out to find him already fully hard. Youâre not surprised. Precum oozes from his slit, leaking out on his tip. When you look up to see his face, heâs biting his lip in anticipation.
âAlways need to have your fucking way, huh,â you say, squeezing the base of his cock. He throws his head back and moans, thrusting up into your fist. You let go of his dick to push his hips down with angry force. âDonât you dare move.â
You spit into your hand and jerk his cock quickly, with little care as to how rough you are with him. You squeeze his length like youâre milking him, like youâre trying to get him to burst. If you can embarrass him and have him spilling all over himself in such a short amount of time, youâd feel on top of the world.
Heâs thick and hot in your hand, but you donât let it cloud your mind. You need to put him in his place. He doesnât deserve a spot in the lustful crevices of your mind right now. This is about balancing the scale.
You keep your stare hard even as he cries and whimpers. You donât let him see any reaction out of you, because the last thing you want is for him to take control of the situation again. At least like this, you feel like youâre not totally weak for him.
His hips jolt up and he gasps at your ministrations. He grabs onto your wrist, trying to pry you off.
âBehave,â your order, no room for compromise in your voice.
âBaby! Baby, stop, Iâm gonnaââhis sentence is cut off by a drawn-out moan. Itâs like his body canât decide whether to run away from your hand or rut into it.
âFucking do it then,â you say through gritted teeth, fucking your fist over him faster. You spit onto his cock to lubricate it even more.
âNo, not yet,â he pleads, breathing heavily. Itâs cute watching him try to escape the feeling, but you wonât let him. You use your other hand to fondle his balls, and once you do that, heâs a goner. Heâs spilling his seed onto your hand with his head thrown back and a loud cry. His hips stutter up into your fist, and his cock twitches in your hand. You feel a bit of a power high from that.
You slow down for only a few seconds before youâre pumping him wildly again. He looks at you with wide, helpless eyes. His bodyâs jolting with the shocks of overstimulation, and you canât help but let out a laugh at that.
Beomgyu whimpers your name pathetically. His arms are shaking as they cling onto yours. You donât relent, merciless as you try to coax another orgasm from him.
âItâs too much!â he cries, and you can even hear the shake in his voice.
âTake what I give you or Iâll leave,â you spit. âDo you want me to leave?â
âNo! I can take it.â He pries his arms off you and keeps them at his sides, deciding he wants to be good and listen all of a sudden.
âThatâs what I thought.â You twist your hand as it goes down on his length, squeezing harder. Your thumb swipes over his slit when it reaches the head of his cock. âCum for me, dirty little puppy. Show me how filthy you are.â
As you command it, his orgasm crashes over him immediately. You watch in awe. Itâs like heâs trained to follow your words. His hot cum lands on your hand yet again, and you continue jerking him until his high is over. You have to stop yourself from making him cum a third time, too addicted to his little sounds of pleasure.
âThank you,â Beomgyu says breathlessly. You run your fingers through his hair with your clean hand.
âLooks like the dirty pup is good for something,â you coo condescendingly.
âI am good, let me show you. Sit on my face.â Before you can even respond, heâs already lying down and sticking his tongue out. You furrow your brows at his eagerness and decide to put his mouth to use a different way. Your cum-coated hand meets his tongue, and you let him lave at his mess all over you.
âHm, guess your tongue is pretty good,â you say mindlessly as you watch him lick all his cum off you. When he finishes cleaning your hand, he sucks two of your fingers past his lips. You smirk and slowly fuck them in and out of his desperate mouth. He swirls his tongue around your digits, then licks up between them. He circles the tip of his tongue on the skin between your two fingers as if it was your clit. You wish it didnât make your pussy throb.
You pull your fingers out of his mouth and spread them apart, admiring the strand of saliva that forms. You take off your bottoms and panties, and Beomgyu damn near starts panting in excitement.
âYes, come sit on my face, let me taste your cunt,â he babbles, stars in his eyes. His excitement dies when your saliva-slickened fingers meet your core instead. You make sure he has a great view as you play with your pussy.
âYou got me so nice and wet, thank you puppy.â Your voice is sweet, even if your motive is to torture him. You exaggerate your reactions to your touch, moaning extra loud when you circle your clit. Your other hand disappears under your shirt to play with your nipples. You bite your lip as you push your hips up into your hand.
Beomgyu sits up and watches you with a slackened jaw. He starts leaning in between your legs, and you push him away with a foot to his chest.
âUh-uh, you canât touch,â you tell him.
âBut look! My fingers are longer and thicker than yours,â he says, holding out his hand. You roll your hips up into your hand, remembering the way his fingers felt inside you. You slip two fingers into your cunt to make up for the sudden emptiness you feel.
You fuck yourself with vigor, pistoning your fingers into you, putting on a good show for your best friend. You want him to think youâre not some weak girl who folds for his touch every time. Even though your body yearns for Beomgyu to take care of you, you have to make a point to him.
You get so lost in the feeling of your own fingers that you stop looking at Beomgyu, focusing entirely on the pleasure taking over. That was clearly a mistake, because suddenly you feel two of his fingers entering your pussy alongside your own. You cry out at the sensation, body shaking at the stretch.
Itâs hard to move your hand now, but Beomgyu seems to find a way perfectly fine. âB-bad boy,â you scold, but your voice is so shaky that it holds no real bite. When he aims his fingers up, it forces your own to sit snug against your g-spot, resting there as Beomgyu jackhammers into you.
âSee? Feels good,â he says. With his other hand, he rubs at your clit viciously, needing to please you more than you can please yourself. âThis is so much better, right?â
Your body is buzzing, and you canât even respond to him. Your mouth hangs open stupidly as he pulls moan after moan from you. A foreign pressure starts building inside of you, more intense than anything youâve felt before. Your eyes widen and you try to pull your hips away, but Beomgyuâs determined.
âP-puppy, it feels different,â you manage to stutter out. His breath hitches and he connects his mouth to your inner thigh to kiss it. He doesnât stop his ministrationsâif anything, your words encourage him to go even harder.
âYouâre gonna squirt for me?â he says with astonishment, and you feel his grin growing against your thigh. Itâs blinding, the way the pleasure is consuming you. His hands are wild, working at you without mercy to bring you over the edge. Itâs like he needs this more than you.
âIâmânngh, oh god,â you stammer, body twitching away, but Beomgyuâs so desperate to see you fall apart that he doesnât let you stray from the feeling for even a second. The pressure snaps and you cry out, legs kicking out as you release all over him. You feel your juices squirting out of you, and if you were in your right mind, you wouldâve been embarrassed at how much seems to leak out.
Beomgyu loves it, lapping up what spills onto his wrist and your thighs. Youâre shaking uncontrollably, immediately pulling your hand from your center once Beomgyu draws back. You focus more on gathering your breath after that orgasm than on Beomgyuâs tongue licking every inch of your thighs.
You flinch when his tongue finds your pussy, too sensitive to take anymore. You push his head away and sit up, snapping your legs shut. He pouts, but sits up as well.
âWas that good?â he asks, biting down a smile. He leans in like he really wants to know your answer.
You press your palms into your eyes like youâre relieving a headache. Rationality comes back to you, but thereâs no point in yelling at him now. Youâre the one who shoved your hand down his pants.
âYou really donât want me dating Soobin, huh?â You feel more exhausted than angry now.
âIâll do so much worse if you make him your boyfriend,â he says.
You blink at him. Is that some kind of threat? âWhat do you mean?â
âJust donât be with him and you wonât have to find out.â You donât have it in you to fight him. If it was this easy for you to fall back on your word and get intimate with Beomgyu again, you might as well hold off on the boyfriend label anyway. Maybe you werenât as ready as you thought you were.
âYou can leave my room now,â you say, leaning your head against your pillow. Youâll probably spend the next hour contemplating everything youâve been through in the past month. He doesnât need to be there for that.
âNah.â He lays down beside you. You inhale slowly, gathering the control to not push him off the mattress.
âWhatever.â Youâll just have your mini crisis with him next to you. It doesnât even matter.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
To your surprise, you donât feel completely miserable the next day. Of course, you go throughout the day feeling awful about ruining your chance to be with Soobin any time soon and angry at yourself for touching Beomgyu again, but besides that youâre feeling normal.
You wish your work day would have lasted a little longerâsomething you never thought youâd hope forâbecause when you get home and see Beomgyu on the couch, youâre already feeling annoyed. You were doing so good before yesterday. Seeing him is just a reminder of how much you screwed up.
He seems as giddy as he could ever be when you approach him on the couch. You grab a blanket and curl yourself into his side wordlessly, just wanting his warmth. He accepts it gratefully, throwing an arm over you and getting you comfortable.
You canât even really feel upset. Youâre familiar with this cycle already: Beomgyu will bitch about Soobin to you, youâll get each other off, youâll argue some more, then youâll hang out like nothing happened. You put yourself back in this situation, so you spare yourself the pity.
âIâm so glad weâre back to this. It was killing me to not hold you all those days,â Beomgyu says before pressing a kiss against the crown of your head. âI donât want you to be upset anymore.â
âIâm not upset,â you say flatly.
âI want you to be happy. Iâm really happy now.â You only hum in acknowledgement. You donât really have anything to say to that.
Some time passes in which you and Beomgyu watch television, except youâre mostly going on your phone and Beomgyuâs halfway to falling asleep. You get a notification from Soobin, making you freeze for a moment.
[Soobin] We should meet up tonight if youâre available :)
Beomgyu reads the text over your shoulder. âYou better not say yes.â You flinch and back away from him, clutching your phone to your chest.
âWhy not?â you ask.
âCause you said youâd go with me and Yeonjun to the concert!â he whines.
âI didnât say I was gonna go with you and Yeonjun,â you counter. The entitlement is crazy.
âI asked you first though. If you feel fine enough to hang out with Soobin, why canât you hang out with me?â he asks.
âWhat have we been doing for the past hour?â
âThat doesnât count! We live with each other, we have to hang out at home.â
âWow, ungrateful. You should thank the universe for each second you get to spend with me, home or not.â
âI do. I can show you how grateful I am too, if you want.â You roll your eyes at his suggestion.
âI think Iâm okay,â you say. When you lift your phone back up, Beomgyu takes it from your hand and tosses it gently onto the floor. You watch it land a few feet away from you. You donât feel like getting up to grab it, so you let the device stay where it is. You settle with insulting him instead, âYou suck.â
âI donât want you to hang out with him tonight,â he complains with a pout. âI want my best friend.â
âGyu, youâll live.â What a flair for the dramatics he has.
âJust this once, please,â he begs. âYou know youâre going to feel guilty and awkward hanging out with Soobin after what we did yesterday anyway.â
Shit. You hate it when heâs right.
You sigh, âFine.â Youâre enveloped in his embrace immediately, face smushed into his chest as he cheers in victory. âThis better be the best band I see perform in my life.â
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
The concert is pretty mediocre. The band consists of some grungy college-aged boys who sing about being depressed and cheating on girls. Not quite your music of choice, but you enjoy your time as much as you can nonetheless.
Beomgyuâs arm stays slumped over your shoulders pretty much the entire time. For warmth reasons, you donât complain, but it is pretty embarrassing to see Yeonjun looking at the two of you weirdly from time to time. He must be able to sense that somethingâs off between you.
Beomgyu splits off at some point to buy a water bottle somewhere, and youâre left alone to talk to Yeonjun. He doesnât even spare you a glance at first, which makes you think he might be having a bad day.
âYou like this band?â you ask him, breaking the silence. Youâre confused why he glares at you when he finally turns his head your way.
âYou like Beomgyu?â he retorts, voice filled with some weird scorn.
âWoah, what?â
âArenât you dating Soobin? Why are you letting Beomgyu touch you?â
You have no clue where this is coming from. Beomgyu must have been talking to Yeonjun about the things you two did together. âDid Beomgyu say something to you?â
âYeah,â Yeonjun says. âHeâs been telling me all about how youâre sleeping with him while seeing Soobin.â
That motherfucker. Heâs bragging about banging you to other guys? Youâre nearly seeing red, but you keep your composure so you donât look crazy in front of Yeonjun. âSoobin and I arenât exclusive,â you defend.
Yeonjun gives you a humorless laugh. âWould you be happy if Soobin was fucking other girls right now?â
The thought puts a bitter taste in your mouth. âI wouldnât like it, but Iââ
âDonât lie. Youâd cry your heart out.â Yeonjun levels you with a knowing stare. You meet it, unwavering, but you know heâs right.
âYou donât know the whole story. I tried putting a stop to it,â you say.
âAnd what? You relapsed like heâs some drug? You need to get real.â
You want to be mad, but whatâs the point? Youâre getting reality checked, and it burns, but maybe Yeonjunâs right.
âBeomgyu puts up a fight every time I talk about Soobin. He wonât let me be.â You feel defensive, like you have to prove youâre not totally at fault.
âSo you let him down easy with some pussy?â he asks with sizable disappointment in his voice. God, this is embarrassing.
âYou donât get it.â Itâs not like you didnât say no to him before. You tried removing yourself from the room, you tried telling him this canât happen, you tried everything except leaving him. It doesnât work.
âI donât have to get it. You should do better.â The conversation ends at that, his words left to linger in your mind.
You stand silently beside Yeonjun and stare blankly at the band on the stage. Time has got to move a little faster. You pray Beomgyu doesnât take much longer getting back.
When he does come back, you donât let him cling to you like a magnet. He looks at you a little weird for rejecting his arm around you, but he doesnât say anything until you get in his car.
âAre you okay? You seem kinda pissed.â His question only serves to irritate you further.
âYou told Yeonjun that we sleep with each other?â You donât hide the anger from your voice. He looks at you with wide eyes. Clearly he knows he fucked up. âI never once let you put your dick in me.â
Beomgyu breathes out slowly, then pouts his lips and taps awkwardly on the steering wheel. You allow him his minute of shameful silence before starting up again, âDo you just not respect me? I doubt you told him what exactly led to this.â
He still doesnât look at you. He can try all the cute, pitiful tactics he wants, youâre not falling for it this time.
âIâm sorry,â he mutters, head down like heâs hating his life right now. Good, you hope he is.
âIf youâre really sorry then youâll stop doing anything more than platonic with me.â He looks at you with upturned brows and scared eyes. Itâs as if you spoke his worst fear into reality.
âNo, Iâll tell Yeonjun I lied, I promise,â he pleads.
âWhy? You didnât lie. Iâm just some whore you get to brag about, right?â
âNo! I lied, I was wrong, I should have never opened my mouth to Yeonjun. Iâm stupid.â Ugh, you canât take his self-pity.
âWeâre never crossing that line again. I was stupid. Iâm actually glad Yeonjun gave me that reality check.â
âIâm sorry. We donât have to stop, Iâll just shut my mouth about it now,â he says.
âI donât want to risk ruining everything anymore.â He has nothing to say to that. Itâs eerily quiet for a moment. âCan you bring us home now?â
He puts the car in drive. The ride is silent the whole way home.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
The longest week of your life passes by, in which you barely hang out with Beomgyu, barely see Soobin, and barely talk to anyone. You consider it to be a reset week for you, trying to detach yourself from everyone else to focus on finding out what you want. With so many complicated relationships in your life, you need plenty of time to think this through.
You spend a lot of nights considering what exactly you want from Beomgyu and Soobin. You weigh all your thoughts out and philosophize them, waiting for something to click and show you all the answers. What you learn instead is that no amount of contemplation is going to clear things up for you completely.
When looking at it honestly, your life has been a mess of ups and downs since meeting Soobin. Itâs not his fault at allâactually, when you try to pin the blame on someone, the dart lands like a bullseye on your own face. And itâs not that Soobin is a bad influence on your life, making you do all these stupid things; instead, itâs that you have no willpower when it comes to Beomgyu.
So, do you end things with Soobin? You rack your brain for a smart answer, but itâs hard to even think anything after forming that sentence. A pit of emptiness forms in your chest instead, and avoiding that uncomfortable feeling is within your own self-interest.
You itch to call Chaewon more times than you can count, but you donât let yourself give in. You want this to be something you tackle without the influence of anyone else. You already know how Chaewon would tell you to solve this, anyway.
A couple nights throughout the week, Beomgyu has knocked on your door, and neither time did you let him in. Out of everyone you know, he has the biggest influence on you. Your rational mind is thrown out the window when it comes to him. You donât think thatâs something you can stop or control.
He texts you and makes sure youâre okay, which youâre grateful for. You still eat dinner with him, and you even let yourself indulge in one movie night, but youâre trying to keep your distance so you can keep your head clear.
Youâre at a mental standstill, looking down a multitude of paths that have no clear end. You could move in with Chaewon and make Soobin your boyfriend. You could end things with Soobin and see if you can go back to normal with Beomgyu. You could do nothing and give up your hand in this game.
You feel like youâre finding a new law of arithmetic trying to decide what to do next. Youâre not the thinking typeâclearly, as if the past couple months havenât been proof enoughâso you earn no insight and all headache from this.
Go you, trying to be independent and figure out your life on your own. Look where that got you, huddled up in your bedroom and even more depressed than before. You need a drink.
Matter of factâ
Wanna go to a bar?
You donât even have to wait a minute for Chaewonâs response. âBarâ to her is exactly what âsquirrelâ is to dogs.
[Chaewon] You already know my answer. Iâm getting ready right nowwww
No boy talk or Iâm ending my shit in front of you
You need one night to just let loose and stop thinking. Youâve had enough of deliberating upon the men in your life this week.
[Chaewon] Oh you need those drinks bad
[Chaewon] Okay noted
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
You donât expect to be interrogated as soon as you open the door to your apartment the next morning, but Beomgyuâs insistent prying serves as a lovely pairing with your massive hangover.
âWhere were you last night?â he asks before you can even open the door all the way. Youâre too busy adjusting to how bright the room is to process his question at first. You squint to save your eyeballs as much as you can. You walk right into Beomgyu when you try to properly enter the room. He holds your waist to steady your balance. âAre you drunk?â he asks.
You shake your head and instantly regret it, since it makes it feel like your brain is sloshing around inside your skull. âHungover.â
âYou didnât tell me you were going out,â he says. He doesnât sound mad or accusatory, but it still irritates you because you donât want to deal with this right now.
âDidnât realize I had to.â
âYou always do when you go out drinking,â he reasons.
You sigh, âYeah, well, I didnât this time.â
He scrunches your brows as he takes in your tone. âAre you mad at me or something?â
You rub your eyes. You need to bury your head under your pillow, this light is killing you, and this conversation needs to be over with. âIâm not mad at you.â
Heâs quiet for a second. âI feel like you are.â
âOkay. Have fun feeling like that.â You open one of the cabinets to look for some medicine.
âSee? Youâre talking to me like youâre mad at me. What did I do?â All your patience leaves you at that. You donât want to be doing this right now.
You place the pill bottle onto the counter with more force than necessary and turn around abruptly to face Beomgyu. âIâm hungover. I donât want to talk. Take a hint.â
He blinks at you stupidly, and it just annoys you more. You scoff and turn your attention back to the medicine.
âWere you with Soobin?â he asks, breaking the ten seconds of peace and quiet he allowed you.
You groan. âDoes it matter? I could have fucked Soobin last night and it still wouldnât be any of your concern.â
âDid you fuck Soobin last night?â he asks urgently now that you planted the thought in his head. You swallow your pills in place of answering him. He holds onto your arm to stop you from leaving when you try to walk past him. âDid you??â
âWhat if I did? Do you think you have any right to tell me anything about it?â You didnât, obviously, but at this point youâll say anything to get him to stop talking.
His jaw clenches and he tightens his lips, but you donât give a damn what displays of anger he gives you. He could pull his arm back and get ready to punch you and you still wouldnât waver. You raise your eyebrows, waiting for his answer.
âI justâI donât getâYouâre not evenâŠâ He sure is having trouble finding his words. Some defense heâs got built up.
âInteresting.â You turn, ready to storm off to your room, but he stops you once again.
His hands stay clung to your shoulders, not even blinking as he turns you back toward him. âPlease just tell me who you went out with.â He almost reeks of desperation.
Youâre annoyed and you donât owe him shit, so you donât open your mouth to give him a response. You shrug with a straight face.
He whines and leans his head down onto your shoulder like youâve just stabbed him in the gut. You roll your eyes. He always has to be the victim. You might just trudge to your room with him clinging onto you if he doesnât give this up. Youâll get to your bed one way or another.
âWhat did I do? Iâm so sorry. Why are you so mad at me?â he says, voice breaking like heâs holding back tears. He nuzzles further into your shoulder.
âGyu, I swear, Iâm just tired and my head hurts. You had nothing to do with this until five minutes ago. So please get off of me.â You push against him to try to pry him away, but he locks his arms around you. You sigh deeply, accepting his embrace because itâs not like you can run from it. You wait until enough time has passed where itâs safe for you to pull away without him freaking out.
âSo youâre not mad at me?â he asks, giving you those sweet puppy eyes that youâd melt over any other time. Unfortunately, youâre still pissy and in need of rest, so you donât coddle Beomgyu like you know he wants you to.
âNo.â His lips tilt up just slightly at that. He wipes his eyes dramatically.
âCan I lay down with you then?â he asks, eyes carrying all his hope.
You shouldnât, but you donât want to deal with his moping if you donât let him. âIf you stay quiet and keep your distance.â
Youâre already walking to your room when you hear him start complaining, âKeep my distance!?â You donât stop to respond. Now that you have your sight on your bed, nothing could stop you from getting wrapped up in your blankets.
You fall against the mattress with a groan, smushing your head into your pillow. You register the bed dip next to you with Beomgyuâs weight, and youâre half-surprised that he allows you a respectable amount of space. A good five minutes pass in which you nearly fall asleep just listening to yours and Beomgyuâs breathing. Silence is always fleeting with Beomgyu, though, and itâs not long until he has to break it.
âIâm sorry, I canât stop thinking about this. Did you seriously⊠sleep with Soobin?â Beomgyu asks in a quiet voice, words coming out hesitantly like heâs almost scared to ask.
You sigh, turning your head so youâre facing him instead of being buried in a pillow. You blink slowly, still wanting to fall asleep. Heâs pouting and looks like he feels bad for even asking. Luckily for him, most of your annoyance evaporated from you the moment you laid down.
âNo, I didnât. It was just me and Chaewon,â you answer. You let your eyes flutter shut again, assuming the conversation would be over now.
Nope. âWhy didnât you tell me that earlier then?â You contemplate pretending to be asleep so that you donât have to respond anymore, but you feel his arm wrap around your waist and you have to shove it off. There goes that idea. âAnd why canât I hold you anymore?â he asks.
âBecause of what we talked about after the concert.â Your eyes are still closed, but you bet he does something sassy in response like roll his eyes or curl his lips down.
âWell I think thatâs stupid,â he says. You open your eyes to make sure he sees it when you scowl at him.
âYouâre free to leave my room if you donât want to respect my rules.â
âPutting rules on our friendship is so ridiculous,â he argues. âWe have literally always been touchy with each other. Soobin can go cry about it if he thinks thereâs a problem with that. Why should we change for him?â
âItâs me whoâs putting these rules down, he never told me to do anything. Itâs not just because of him, either.â Your head threatens to start pounding again.
âWhat else would it be for?â
âUs? Do you not worry that weâll go too far and never be able to go back?â you ask incredulously, like the reasoning should be obvious. He must not fear losing this friendship the way you do.
âNo, because I know nothing could break the bond between us.â
âHooking up does. Donât you see how much weâve changed already? For the worse?â Heâd be blind to deny that much.
âHooking up didnât change us, Soobin did,â he counters. Heâs not holding anything back, overflowing with audacity today.
âI would have told you to stop with or without Soobin in my life.â Because you actually care about preserving your friendship. You know that a lifetime of shared memories is better than twenty minutes of sexual gratification.
âAnd you think this time will be any different from the last hundred times? You keep saying this is going to end, and then it doesnât.â
âBut I mean it this time,â you say with full confidence.
âYou say that every time.â
âThen how about you make it easier for me and stop trying to get with me? It might make things easier if you actually fucking respected it when I try to lay down boundaries.â
âOr you can just say no to me, unless Iâm that irresistible,â he snides. Is he serious? Does he think youâve never tried to say no?
âFuck you.â You turn away from him, done with this conversation. He doesnât leave your bed, but he does keep his distance. Either heâs pissed off now too, or youâve finally convinced him to respect you. Your betâs on the former.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
Youâre getting ready to go out, wanting to spend your Sunday with Soobin. You havenât seen him in a while, and you feel like you need this to clarify things for yourself. You arenât supposed to meet him until later today, but youâre planning on running some errands first, and you might as well get ready now so you donât have to rush to do it later.
The sounds of you roaming around your room seem to beckon Beomgyu over. He walks up to you with a soft smile on his face. âHeading out?â he asks.
âI am,â you confirm. You stop struggling with the necklace you were trying to put on and hand it to Beomgyu instead. You might as well make use of his presence. âCan you put this on for me?â You pull your hair off your neck to make it easier for him.
Heâs able to secure the clasp much faster than you. He pats your shoulder when youâre all set, and you put your hair back down.
Heâs quiet for a few seconds before he speaks up again, âIâm sorry for arguing with you yesterday.â He looks bashful as the apology rolls off his tongue.
You werenât expecting that. You guys donât really apologize to each other over small arguments, you just move on. You turn to face him so he can see your honesty. âItâs okay. Iâm sorry I snapped at you.â
He laughs. âI deserved it.â
You shake your head. âNo you didnât.â
You two smile at each other, and itâs times like this where life feels a little simpler. Itâs surreal that you share your own little section of the world together, and that you still get to have these bonding moments years after meeting.
âIâm glad that I have you in my life,â you say. âEven when Iâm hungover and annoyed at you.â
His response comes in the form of a giggle and a squeeze of your hand. You allow it, letting him be sentimental.
âOkay, I need to continue with my makeup now,â you say, pulling away to rummage through your products and find your eyelash curler. Beomgyu lingers behind you, just watching.
âThis skirt is really cute,â Beomgyu says, pinching the fabric of it.
âThanks, I thrifted it.â He hums and nods in response. A minute passes in which he silently observes you.
âYou doll yourself up a lot when you go out with Soobin.â You slowly turn to face him, not understanding the point of his statement.
âIs that a problem?â you ask. You didnât even tell him you were going out with Soobin.
âNo. You look good.â You hum and pull out mascara from your vanityâs drawer. You lean forward as you apply it to your lashes, trying your best to ignore Beomgyuâs stare.
A part of you is admittedly confused that Beomgyu isnât trying to stop you from leaving or fighting with you about seeing Soobin. Just now, he was actually the most collected youâve ever seen him be when it comes to Soobin. You donât want to jinx it, so you try to shift your thoughts somewhere else.
You and Soobin are going to the vintage market later, since you found out that you both share a love for vintage things. (For him, itâs old gaming systems and figurines, and for you, itâs clothes and home decor.) Youâre thinking about trying to convince him to get dinner with you too, but that might be pushing your luck. You know he had some errands to run today too.
âThose are nice,â Beomgyu says. You donât know what he means until you see in the mirror where heâs looking. You widen your eyes and straighten your posture immediately. Bent over the vanity like that, your panties were on full display under your skirt. And to think you were sharing a sentimental moment just a few minutes ago!
You scowl at him. âThanks for staring, creep.â You shove your mascara back in the drawer.
âIâm sure Soobin would love them,â he says. You pause as you register his words. Youâre not sure what his goal is, or why he suddenly switched up so much. You decide itâs best to not add fuel to the fire and just keep your mouth closed.
Beomgyuâs all fire though, and needs no fuel to keep going. âYour makeupâs really pretty too. You look like an angel.â
âWhat are you trying to do?â you ask, voice full of suspicion. Even in his tone, you can hear his ulterior motives.
He comes closer to you with a grin, leaning his head on your shoulder and locking eyes with you in the mirror. He wraps his arms around your waist, and you feel a bit overwhelmed by his presence.
âI know you worked so hard getting pretty, but I donât really think you should go out today⊠Itâs windy, and youâll be so, so cold in thisâŠâ He slowly pulls the thin strap of your top off your shoulder until it falls limp around your arm. His finger lightly traces the skin he revealed.
Youâre not so curious what Beomgyuâs intentions are anymore. Theyâre pretty easy to guess now. âIâll be fine,â you say.
He pouts, continuing to trace little swirls onto your skin. âYouâll get sick,â he adds.
âThatâs not what you actually care about,â you say.
âI do though.â He places a kiss on your neck as if to show his earnestness.
âBeomgyuâno, this is too much.â You try pushing him off, but itâs as if he doesnât feel your efforts at all. You give up after the second attempt.
âYou should stay home with me so I donât have to worry about you all day.â He stares at your side profile and brushes your hair back. He places another tender kiss on your neck, higher up this time. You try to fight any heat rising in your body from the action.
âStop this,â you say, but it doesnât sound so confident with how your voice shakes. You turn your head to look him in the eye. He just smiles up at you from where his head still leans on your shoulder. You hold back a gasp when his finger stops tracing lines on your skin and hooks under your bra strap instead, just barely starting to pull that aside too.
Youâre so flustered by his finger slowly inching your bra strap down that you barely notice when his lips are back on your neck, attached to your pulse point like your heartbeat was calling for him.
âY-you told me I could say no to you,â you remind him as his lips continue their slow descent down your neck.
âYeah, if you actually meant it.â He places one last kiss to your skin, then props his head back on your shoulder to look into your eyes through the mirror. He smiles as if he likes what he finds; you must look as confused and malleable as you feel.
âYou lied,â you say quietly, as if itâs a revelation to yourself and not a response to him.
âI didnât. Iâm just obsessed with pleasing you.â He runs his hands down your sides soothingly, then prompts you to bend with a gentle hand on your back.
âBeomgyu!â you squeak, fighting against the hand that beckons you down. You hold on tight to the edge of the vanity to keep your body up.
âStop thinking. Let me take care of you.â His voice is so soft and coaxing, and you feel a sizable sense of shame hit you when arousal oozes from your cunt. An even greater amount of shame finds you when your arms shake and eventually give, letting Beomgyu ease you down until youâre bent over the vanity.
âWe really canât do this.â It might be too late to keep fighting, but you donât want to suffer the consequences of this all over again.
âShhh, baby,â he whispers as his hand travels down your back and settles on your hip, massaging the area.
Oh god. This is so bad. Youâre supposed to be hanging out with Soobin in a few hours. You canât do this right now.
âGyuââ
âItâs okay,â he soothes. âStop shaking, why are you so nervous?â
âIâm supposed to see Soobin today!â you squeak. He tsks.
âDidnât I tell you to stop thinking?â A warm hand trails up your thigh. He doesnât go under your skirt, he stays well enough away from your center, but something about his touch is still making your head spin. No one can make you lose reasonability like Beomgyu can.
You whine, and you donât know if itâs out of defeat or out of need. You blink a tear from your eyes and follow Beomgyuâs advice: you stop thinking.
âGyuâŠâ You donât even know what youâre calling him for. You hide your face in your arms so you donât have to watch your reflection give up her fight.
âYes, baby?â Your hips push out in search for his touch before you can stop yourself. Tears of shame pool in your eyes, and you're glad Beomgyu canât see your face to coddle you for that. âYou need something?â
You donât respond. Itâs embarrassing how bad you need his touch, but you canât bring yourself to say it out loud. A part of you wishes heâd leave you here like this so you could take care of your needs yourself.
He flips your skirt up with a careful hand, and you keep as still as possible. You try not to even breathe too hard. âYouâre wet,â he says. âWant me to help you?â
Whatâs the point of asking? He went this far already. âNo,â you say, and half of the reason is just to test if heâll do it anyway.
âBut you need me,â he says, brushing your hair out of your face and turning your head to him with his fingers on your chin. He looks at you like youâre a deer caught in a bear trap, like heâs being merciful to offer his help. You feel powerless when he looks at you like that.
His pitiful stare just makes you blink more tears out of your eyes, and youâd hide your face if you could, but he insists on keeping your head tilted towards him. He coos when the wet trails reach your cheeks, bringing a thumb up to wipe your tears.
âDo you wanna feel better?â he asks, continuing to spoil you with tender touches. He grabs your hand and lifts it to his lips to kiss your knuckles. You feel every bit the deer caught in the trapâBeomgyuâs got you in his claws now.
âI donât know,â you say, pouting up at him.
âItâs okay. Iâll help you. Just tell me when to stopâŠâ The light press of his fingertip against your clothed core makes you sigh, tension melting from your body. You close your eyes, shutting off your brain and relaxing into the feeling.
âThatâs right, it feels so good, doesnât it?â He circles your clit, keeping his touch feather-light. Even that much drives you crazy and makes your legs tremble. âCan I take these off?â His finger moves from your clit to hook beneath the hem of your panties.
âPlease,â you say. He kisses your shoulder blade in appreciation.
âWhat nice manners.â Your panties are slowly peeled off of you until they hit the floor. The cold air hits your wet folds, making you shiver in anticipation.
âFuck,â Beomgyu utters as he stares at your pussy. He brings a hand down and starts rubbing your clit, leaving you a gasping and mewling mess already. âI missed this cunt. God, you haunted me. You tortured me.â
He attaches his mouth to your neck, kissing down to your shoulder. You cry out when his tongue meets your skin, licking and nipping at whatever skin he has access to. You clench around nothing, making more arousal drip out of you. Beomgyu coats his fingers in the slickness and continues drawing tight circles onto your clit.
âBeomgyu!â you yelp out when he speeds up. He places a parting peck onto your jaw before leaning away to look at your face. He smiles down at you.
âYou need something inside that wet little cunt? Are you aching for my fingers?â His words make you feel lightheaded. Youâre already having trouble thinking clearly, but now with that thought in your mind, youâre a goner.
âYes, I need you!â Heâs quick to give you what you want, sinking two fingers in with ease. Youâre left crying and panting as he fucks his digits into you, filthy sounds filling the room.
âYouâre so hot,â he praises, pulling your head up with his fist in your hair. Youâre forced to stare at your own reflection, met with an image of you that looks so unfamiliar. Your mouth is hung open, spilling out moans and cries as Beomgyuâs fingers continue ramming into you. Your makeup is smudged and no longer suitable to go out in. The strap of your shirt and bra still hangs limp on your arm, and that side of your neck is coated in Beomgyuâs saliva.
âI look like a slut,â you say, pouting only for a second before your mouth is forced open again around a whine.
âYou look beautiful.â His fingers curl into you, searching for the spot that will have your eyes rolling back. Your legs tremble when he finds it, and you have to rebalance yourself, clutching onto the vanity to keep yourself up.
âThere! Oh, god, Gyu!â His mouth is back on your throat, hot and wet as he sucks and tastes and kisses. He nibbles on your jaw, then moves up to breathe into your ear.
âLet me fuck you, let me fill you up,â he whispers. You clench around his fingers at the thought. He stills inside you and you whine. âBaby.â He holds your face so youâll look at him. He presses a quick kiss to your lips. Youâre too far gone to complain. âYou need more, right? You need my dick inside you?â
He curls his fingers inside you once more, and your back arches at the sensation. You try not to get too heady at the idea of him splitting you with his cock. Thatâs the one thing that absolutely cannot happen, so you canât let yourself give in to that.
âTell me, or else you wonât cum at all,â he says, rubbing his fingers inside you so perfectly it leaves your legs shaking.
âNo, please!â you exclaim, panicked at the prospect of him leaving you on the edge. Your frantic hands are quick to play with your clit and squeeze your tits, trying to get yourself off while his fingers are still inside of you.
âAre you gonna let me fuck you today?â he asks, moving his fingers slower so you wonât cum. You pout and push your hips toward him, but a strong hand of his retaliates and keeps you still.
âWe canât,â you say. Immediately, he pulls his fingers out of you. He slaps your pussy, making you yelp and shut your legs. He pries them back open and slaps you again, harder this time. His fingers collect your wetness and tease your entrance, but never slip back inside.
âDid my slut already give it up to Soobin? Because that would really piss me off,â he says, staring meanly at you as he waits for your answer.
âNo! We never did anything together,â you answer, the truth leaving you easily when youâre so desperate for his touch. He huffs out a laugh.
âThatâs right. You know youâre mine.â Heâs so pleased that he decides to relieve some of your need, rubbing your clit. âNo one else would be able to touch you like me. Tell me how I ruined you for any other man,â he prompts.
He pulls his fingers off of you and pushes his pants down, whipping his dick out and stroking it as he looks down at you. He taps your clit with the head of his cock and bites back a grin when you mewl at the action. He thrusts against your pussy, letting his length slide between your folds.
You have to cling onto reality and keep yourself from slipping into a brainless haze. Itâs hard to do when his cock feels so girthy and hot against you. He would stretch you so nicely. Your cunt oozes at the thought.
âSay it,â Beomgyu demands, grabbing your face again so youâll make eye contact with him. He leans over your body to do so, and you feel completely surrounded by him. His stare is hard and demanding. Your eyes bug out when you feel him press his tip against your entrance, pushing with just the slightest bit of pressure, but not quite sliding in. âSay it or Iâll fuck the words out of you.â
That scares you into compliance. âYou ruined me for anyone else! Only you can make me cum! I only want your cock!â you chant thoughtlessly.
He laughs and smooths his hands down your body, resting them on your waist. âGood girl. Was that so hard?â Heâs so condescending, but it makes you drip like crazy. He goes back to thrusting against your pussy, making you sigh in relief.
Beomgyu runs a hand under your shirt, squeezing your tits. Your back arches when he twists and pulls at your nipples while continuing to slide his cock through your folds. He takes his dick and starts swiping his tip over your clit rapidly, watching you spasm at the sensation with a grin. Your hole continues to flutter, aching to be stuffed with his cock. Unfortunately, Beomgyu takes notice of that.
âYou need that hole filled, baby? Need to be nice and stretched?â He brings his tip back to your entrance. He circles around it teasingly, making you whine. You canât let him fuck you. You need to keep at least that much from him.
âDonât,â you plead, getting more antsy the longer he stays at your entrance.
âDonât?â he repeats, but doesnât move away.
âPlease donât!â you cry, unwilling to let him go that far. He finally relents.
âThen youâll cum like this,â he huffs and goes back to stimulating your clit with the head of his cock. You moan out, pushing your hips down to feel him pressed against you more. Your mouth is dropped open in pleasure, eyes shutting as you focus on the feeling. Your legs shake and try to close, but Beomgyu urges them back open with his hand on your thigh.
You canât form any coherent sentences, stuttering out a garbled mess of words that tells Beomgyu youâre right there. âLet go, baby, be good and cum for me,â he says, and your body obeys. You spasm everywhere as your orgasm takes over, breathing out in sweet relief. Heâs moaning behind you, movements getting shakier as his release finds him.
Beomgyu pulls away so his cum lands on your ass, but his fingers play with your pussy to help you come down. Your legs clamp shut when it gets too much, and he takes that as a sign to stop. The sound of you and Beomgyu panting fills the room as you recover from your highs.
âFuck, I wish I could take a picture of this,â Beomgyu says, staring at your ass painted with his seed. You canât even think of a smart reply to that, still trying to get your breathing back to normal.
Beomgyu takes off his shirt to wipe you down with it. Youâre glad he still has the mind to take care of you. You cringe when you feel him try to put your soiled panties back onto you. âStop, Iâll just get a new pair,â you say, kicking his hands away.
You stand up and stretch, trying to avoid looking at your reflection as much as possible. You grab your phone to check the time. What catches your sight instead is a text notification from Soobin, and suddenly you feel sick. Beomgyu smirks when his eyes land on your screen. âYou still going out with him today?â
You almost feel like you could cry. Was this his plan all along? You put your phone back down, unable to stand the guilt.
He wins again. âNo, Iâm not.â
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
Your life recently has just been a continuous cycle of proving that you can, indeed, stoop even lower. Youâre so confused how you even got to this point. Your fairytale relationship was lined up for you, it was supposed to be easy to stop whatever youâre doing with Beomgyu and make Soobin your boyfriend.
Things are more complicated and confusing than ever, a precedent you continuously find yourself in. You canât grow accustomed to this. Youâll go crazy before you ever figure out why Beomgyu wonât quit. What is the root of his insecurity? Why is he so threatened by the idea of you having a boyfriend? Youâve already told him you wonât leave him.
When you notice that Beomgyuâs not home when you get back from work, you decide to invite Chaewon over to keep you company. You donât feel like being alone with your thoughts right now.
Sheâs there in a heartbeat, and the two of you are quick to settle on the couch and watch a bit of the show sheâs currently binging. Youâre only half an episode in when you stop paying attention and start talking to Chaewon about life instead. It doesnât take long for Chaewon to land on the million dollar question.
âAlright, this has been killing me since we went to the bar. What happened with Soobin?â Chaewon asks.
You want to punch yourself. This is so embarrassing. âWellâŠâ
âI swear, if youâŠâ she starts, and you know what sheâs thinking.
âI did.â You get a hard smack on the arm for that. You deserved it, honestly.
âYou fucked Beomgyu?!â
âHe didnât stick it in, but we did basically everything else,â you admit.
âWhy?â she asks. âEverything was going so well.â
âI donât know. Because Iâm stupid. I tried to say no, but you know him.â
She looks a little horrified to hear that. âWhat?â
You scramble to explain, not wanting her to get the wrong idea, âI mean, like, I gave in and let myself enjoy it because he wasnât stopping anyway.â
âDo you even know how concerning that sounds?â Chaewon asks, looking genuinely worried for you. âSeriously, are you okay?â She runs a hand down your arm to comfort you.
âIâm okay. Thank you.â Her eyes have lost all their hardness and accusation, and she looks at you with only pity now.
âHowâd this happen? Give me the timeline,â Chaewon says, and you sigh as you try to recollect the whole story.
âI actually initiated it the first time we hooked up again,â you explain with a sense of shame. âI was angry, and he kept insisting that I hate him, so I kissed him. Then it went further.â
âI hate him,â Chaewon says with a bitter laugh. You frown, so she continues, âI do. I canât stand him anymore. He knew he was cornering you when he said that shit.â
âWell, it worked. It keeps working. I tried again to stop after that, which is when he told me I should just say no andââ
âWhat the hell?â Chaewon interrupts, appalled. âAs if you havenât been saying no in a million different ways!â
âYeah, I donât know.â You shake your head and shrug defeatedly. âSo the next time he tries to initiate something, I say no, and he doesnât listen because he said he could tell I didnât mean it.â
Chaewonâs jaw is dropped open. It takes a few seconds for her to get a response out. âI really hate him. Iâm fuming for you.â
âWell, I didnât tell him to stop once he really started touching me. I donât know why. He told me to tell him when to stop, and I just⊠didnât.â
âHe needs to get it together. You need to give him an ultimatum.â The drastic measures make your heart pound. Beomgyu would lose it.
âI canât,â you say. âEven if I did, heâd find a way around it again.â
âStop giving him so much power over you. You need to detox yourself clean of him.â She says that like heâs some bacteria you can just flush out. Heâs more like a parasite taking control of your whole being.
âBut I live with him,â you reason.
âThen stay at mine. As long as youâre here with him, heâs going to keep doing this. Heâs been messing with your head and ruining your life on purpose. Itâs such bullshit. Heâll never take no for an answer,â Chaewon spits.
âWhat the hell are you guys talking about?â You snap your head over to where the voice came from. Fuck. Beomgyu came home.
Your heart stops. You hold your breath, staring at him with wide eyes. What do you say? Thereâs no excuse that could get you out of this situation.
Chaewon on the other hand doesnât seem scared at allâshe seems furious. âYou,â she answers, unphased at his attempt to intimidate her.
She rises from the couch and approaches him with quick footsteps. You get scared for a second that she might hit him, so you follow her quickly. She stops in front of Beomgyu, and you stand back, observing the scene with your nerves on edge. Beomgyu doesnât back down, staring daggers into her.
âBeomgyu, you are the most disgusting excuse for a friend in the world,â Chaewon snaps. She pokes a finger against his chest to make her point. âI can only pray that karma gets you one day and makes you see what a piece of shit you are.â
Beomgyu looks at you while pointing at Chaewon. âYouâre just gonna let her talk to me like this? Did you even tell her the full story?â
You see red at his accusation. âI told her everything, matter of fact.â
âYeah? Then she should know that youâre just as much to blame as I am,â he says, walking away from Chaewon and towards you. âI canât believe youâve been shit-talking me with your friends for things you chose to do with me.â
Chaewon chimes in, âHow much of a choice does she have if youâre bugging her nonstop until she gives in? Crying, fighting, begging. If you were fucking normal sheâd already be with Soobin by now.â
Beomgyu doesnât turn to look at Chaewon as she speaks, so his face is still close to yours as he takes in her words. He doesnât look remorseful at all. He just looks pissed.
âYou can leave, Chaewon,â he says, voice dripping with venom. He looks you in the eye even as he says that. It sends a chill down your spine.
Chaewon grabs your wrist and pulls you a few steps away from Beomgyu. âCome sleep at mine tonight,â she urges you. âYou donât deserve to hear whatever shit heâs gonna put you through.â
âFuck that,â Beomgyu says. âGet out of my house.â He points to the door. Youâre shocked at the slight raise in his voice. Heâs never done that before.
Chaewon looks at you, waiting for you to say something. You feel like the smallest person alive because you canât bring yourself to accept her offer. It would only strain your relationship with Beomgyu more.
âDonât be mad at me, Chaewon,â you plead, even though thatâs probably too much to ask for. But sheâs Chaewon, and she carries all the understanding sheâs ever had, so she doesnât get mad at all.
She squeezes your hand. âBe smart,â she says, then wraps her arms around you for a tight hug. âText me if you need anything,â she whispers in your ear.
âIâm sorry,â you whisper in hers. She pulls away and pats your hair down, looking sympathetic.
âIâll see you soon,â she says, heading towards the door.
âSee you.â You canât bring yourself to sound happy or excited as you watch her leave. It feels like your life force has been drained out of you, and yet youâre nowhere near done with the arguments tonight. You turn to Beomgyu, already expecting it.
âPlease donât listen to her,â he says. You blink up at him, confused. Heâs not going to get mad at you? âI donât know what sheâs telling you, but donât listen to it.â
You donât have it in you to fight him right now. âI just chose you again, Beomgyu, even if I shouldnât have. That should tell you everything.â Itâs the last thing you say before heading off to your room. You donât think your pout leaves your face all night.
Time and time again, you prove you canât change. You canât prioritize anything over Beomgyu, not even yourself. Itâs pathetic. Youâre pathetic.
You want to believe you can grow as a person, but itâs so impossible when Beomgyu insists on bringing you back to square one every chance he gets. Chaewonâs offer rings in your head, telling you there is a way out. You could stay with her and leave behind all the mess that comes with being here.
Your eyes water. If only you werenât so weak. You canât imagine how that life would be better than one with Beomgyu in it. You canât abandon him; for both his sake and your own, itâs better if you stay. You just have to get used to this being your new life.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
Somehow, Beomgyu becomes the only person you donât feel guilty being around. When youâre with Soobin, you feel guilty for what youâve done with Beomgyu. When youâre with Chaewon, you feel guilty for not taking her advice and controlling your life more. With Beomgyu, you donât have to feel guilty, as long as you donât let yourself think too hard.
You end up spending most of your free time cooped up in his room. Itâs better than being aloneâyour thoughts might send you spiraling if youâre left to deal with them on your own. If making you codependent was Beomgyuâs goal, it looks like heâs succeeding.
You let Beomgyu hold you in his bed, you let him wipe the tears off your face, you let him comfort you with peppered kisses all over your skin and honey coated words whispered into your ear. You let him do whatever he wants because itâs better than fighting with him and breaking yourself down even more.
You open your phone to see youâve got a text from Soobin.
[Soobin] Are you free today?
Well, technically you areâŠ
You look over at Beomgyu, still caught up in his game. You think of spending time with Soobin, lounging in some restaurant or walking across the city. Itâs nice, but any of that niceness is crushed when you think of telling Beomgyu that youâre going out with Soobin. You think of his petty arguments, of the tricks he has up his sleeve, of all the right words he knows just when to say to keep things going his way. Youâve had such a shit week that you just donât feel like ruining your weekend like that.
You send your response.
Iâm not :(
You shut off your phone and lay it against your chest. You feel like youâre becoming an awful person. A few minutes later, Beomgyu cheers and claps at his screen, pushing his chair out a bit and looking back at you.
âCome look at this,â he says. You wrap a blanket around yourself as you trudge over to his desk. He points to each statistic and explains how awesome and amazing they are, looking to you for validation.
âSuper cool.â You nod and try to pull an impressed look, but he can always see through your bullshit.
âWhy do you sound like that? What happened?â he asks. You fight back the urge to roll your eyes. Curse him and his stupid ability to read your mind.
You sigh. âI just feel like Iâm always lying to Soobin recently.â
Beomgyu, ever the asshole, just smiles at that. âWhy?â
âHe asked if I was free today and I said no,â you explain.
âWell thatâs right. Youâre hanging out with me.â
âBut we donât really have plans. We hang out like this every day.â You donât fight it when he pulls you into his lap. You relax into him.
âJust stop dragging him along. This is going nowhere.â
âIt could, though,â you say.
âIt couldnât,â Beomgyu denies with complete certainty. He runs his fingers through your hair when you rest your head on his shoulder.
âYeah. You would make sure of it,â you say, defeated.
âDonât act so innocent.â His voice is soft even when he says that.
âI was so set on him. You never liked me like this until you found out about him,â you say, equally as soft, no real fight in you.
âI always liked you like this.â
âNo. You never acted like this.â
âI was scared of losing you to him, so I had to act like this,â he defends.
âIt makes me feel crazy. Makes me feel like a bad person.â
He hums, still comforting you with his hand in your hair and an arm around your waist. He pulls you up just a bit to position you so that youâre face-to-face with him. The blanket falls off of you and onto the floor behind you. He coos when he sees your teary eyes, cupping your face.
âYouâre right, I would make sure of it. Iâd never let you get into a relationship,â he admits. His voice drips with gentleness, and itâs smooth as ever, but you donât feel soothed by it. You back up when his face gets a little too close to yours.
âWhat if I only want to be friends?â you question.
âThen just be my friend. Donât be his girlfriend, though,â he pleads. âWould you really hurt me like that?â
âI canât be his friend?â
He shakes his head. âNo.â
A little fire of rage is starting to burn inside you at his possessiveness. Itâs like he can sense it, and heâs trying to calm it down, gently rubbing his hands down your thighs.
âDonât touch me like that,â you demand. He moves his hands to rest on your hips instead. âDonât touch me at all.â
He pries his hands off of you and holds them behind his head. You feel yourself getting pissed off, but for some reason you donât make a move to get off his lap.
âWhy do you treat me like this?â you ask harshly.
âCause Iâm in love with you,â he answers like he canât hold it back anymore. Your heart stops and your eyes shoot to his own in shock. Heâs looking at you with all the honesty heâs ever had. âSo forgive me if I canât stand you being with someone else.â
You open your mouth, but you have no clue what to say, so you just shut it and stare at him, dumbfounded. It takes a few seconds for rationality to hit you and urge you up and away from him. He stands up as soon as you do, holding onto your wrist.
âNo, donât go,â he begs, lacing your hands together. You lean your head into his chest and cry out in confusion. What are you supposed to do?! God, a part of you wishes youâd never even met Soobin now. If you knew it would come to this, youâd have never stepped foot in that library. Itâs just not worth it. You donât even know how you feel right now.
âWhat the fuck Beomgyu!â you yell as you burst into tears. Everything is ruined. You canât be with Soobin. You canât be with anyone. You canât have your old dynamic with Beomgyu back. Nothing will be the same.
Beomgyu hugs you, swaying you comfortingly and slowly. You hear him sniffle. He doesnât deserve to be crying right now. What reason does he have to cry? Everything has gone his way.
You drop to the floor and hold your face in your hands, crying into your palms. He sits in front of you and pushes your hands down, brushing your hair back. His eyes are red from his tears too, but heâs tending to you. Your stomach twists. You donât know what to think. A guttural sob leaves you.
âMaybe this city isnât right for you. Letâs move away,â Beomgyu offers, trying a new approach.
âLike you know whatâs right for me,â you mock.
âI do,â he asserts.
âYou donât.â
âJust stop with this. Do you not love me?â he asks, angry and serious. You donât respond. He calls your name. You look away from him.
You donât know. Somewhere in this whole mess, youâve lost your perception of what you feel for who. You donât respond because you have no answer.
He whines and hangs his head, clutching his chest like youâve just stabbed him in the heart. Always the drama queen. You feel yourself calming down a little as you see it. At least youâre not the only one breaking down now.
âYou want to be with him that bad?â he asks. He looks at you with pathetic eyes, tears falling from them pitifully. You feel nothing.
He grabs you by the shoulders with urgency and desperation. You have no more fight in you, so you let it happen. He picks you up and sits you on the edge of his bed. He stands over you, holding your head up so your eyes meet. He frantically searches for something in them. Youâre not sure what.
âCan you talk to me?â he requests. âAt least give me that much?â He pulls your mouth open with his thumb, staring at it like heâs waiting for something to come out. You donât know what possesses you, but you feel broken enough to not question it when you take his thumb in your mouth and suck. Perhaps youâre just used to turning to sex in the midst of heated moments now. He pulls it out and stares at you funny.
âWhat?â you ask. He gives a sigh of relief, and you realize itâs because you finally said something.
âWe gotta talk about this,â he says.
Whatâs there to talk about? He told you what your whole life is going to look like anyway. You donât even want to think about it anymore.
âLet me sleep,â you whisper. Your head is pounding.
âOkay,â he agrees, laying you back on his mattress, adjusting the pillow beneath your head. You shut your eyes. He tucks you in neatly, making sure youâre extra comfortable. He uses gentle fingers to tuck your hair out of your face. You feel his presence stick beside you like a guard dog until you fall asleep.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
You wake up with a clearer head. The room is dark, you must have slept your way into the night. You remember everything that happened and your eyes shoot open. Beomgyuâs sleeping soundly next to you. He has you right up against him, like he knew youâd try to run away as soon as you woke up. You realize that thatâs what you should be doing right now.
You remember you left your phone on the bed somewhere. You feel around for it, more frantically the longer it takes, but you come up empty. A part of you wonders if Beomgyu took it. You shake the thought. He wouldnât. You despise your mind for trying to paint your best friend as evil.
He canât help how he feels, right? If he scared you or hurt you, he didnât mean it. If heâs serious when he says he loves you, then he wouldnât want to hurt you. You feel sick as you think it over. You probably shouldnât run away. Where would you even go?
An idea pops into your mind, but you need your phone first.
Gathering your courage, you slip from Beomgyuâs grasp and get out of bed, causing as little commotion as you can. You scan the room with just your eyes, seeing if you can find your phone. You contain the urge to groan when you donât see it anywhere. You bend down to check under the bed. Nothing.
You startle when you rise up and see Beomgyu looking at you. âWhat are you doing?â he asks.
âIâm just looking for my phone.â You sound so meek and unnatural in your own ears. You sound scared of him.
âOh.â He eases back into the bed. You didnât realize how tense he got. Strange.
You look at him speculatively. âDo you⊠know where my phone is?â
He furrows his brows. âAre you accusing me right now?â
Yes. âNo.â Itâs so much harder to rationalize the situation when youâre talking to Beomgyu. Heâs quiet for a minute, and it unnerves you. You wonder what heâs thinking.
You watch him closely as he reaches for something on his nightstand. Itâs his phone. He taps around on it, and you have no clue what heâs doing until you hear it ring. Heâs calling you.
The vibration of your phone is muffled, but present. Beomgyu looks to his side and lifts your pillow, revealing your phone. He hangs up the call from his end. You grab your phone, feeling guilty now.
âNow you can stop looking at me like Iâm some psychopath,â he murmurs off-handedly. It stings your heart.
âIâm sorry.â
He sits up and stares at you, then lets out a heavy sigh. His eyes look puffy now from all his crying before, and you figure he must not have slept much. You wonder if he stayed up crying while you slept in his arms.
âIâm sorry too,â he says. You appreciate that, because heâs got a lot to be sorry for. âI got scared and it made me act crazy.â
So youâre finally having this conversation. Your heart rate picks up.
âYou did. I guess I did too,â you say. You remember how you broke down. You remember everything he said. âDid you mean it all?â you ask.
Heâs quiet for a second. âI meant it when I said I loved you.â
âAnd when you said youâd never let me have a relationship?â you push. He looks like you just kicked him, and he bites down his response. You remember what Chaewon said about him doing that, how he only does it because he knows youâre weak for him. Not this time. Fuck that. âTalk to me now, Beomgyu. Iâll walk out of your life forever if you donât.â
He rushes to respond now, eyes wide with urgency. âI donât know, Iâm just desperate, andâand I need you.â He stands up, but doesnât dare get too close to you. His hands are held together in prayer. âDonât walk away. Iâll control myself now. Please stay. Who else do I have?â
You take a deep breath, trying to not let his words hit you too hard. You need to keep a clear mind. If your heart starts getting soft, youâll lose to him again.
âI want you to never meddle in my love life again,â you say, speaking as clearly and confidently as you can.
âBut Iââ
âNever again. No excuses. Let me be.â
âBut I love you!â Beomgyu cries, desperate to keep you to himself.
âStop,â you insist, locking up the iron gates that protect your weak heart. You canât let him get through.
âI love you, I love you, I love you! You canât do this to me!â
You feel him slicing away at the bars guarding your heart. You have to get out of here before he breaks you down again.
âIâm staying at Chaewonâs tonight. If you try to contact me while Iâm gone, youâll never see me again. Give me space.â You fear your sanity might slip from you if you take too long to head out the door.
He drops to his knees as a sob escapes him. Unintelligible pleading escapes his lips, but you canât allow it into your mind. If you stay here a second longer, heâs going to find your soft spots and attack. Adrenaline forces you to start moving.
You leave the room, leave the apartment, but you still hear his cries. They echo in your mind and torture you as your feet take you to Chaewonâs house. You move as fast as you can, desperate to clear your head, but Beomgyu proves himself again to be a parasite, a stain you can never wash off.
Chaewonâs eyes widen when she sees you. You must look as rough as you feel. âWhat happened?â she asks, ushering you to her couch. She wipes your cheeks, brushing away tears you didnât even know were there.
âBeomgyu loves me.â You choke on a sob, leaning forward until your head is buried in Chaewonâs chest, wrapping your arms around her body. Youâre glad you donât have to beg her to comfort youâsheâs quick to pat your hair down and hold you while you let it all out.
âHoney, itâs okay,â she soothes. Youâre soaking her shirt with your tears, but she doesnât say anything about it.
âNo, everything has changed. Nothingâs okay.â Chaewon picks your head up at that, cupping your face so youâll look her in the eyes. You sniffle back your tears, suddenly embarrassed by them when sheâs looking at you so intensely.
âYou will be okay. I promise you.â She sounds so sure of it that you have no choice but to believe her. You nod, and she looks pleased at that. Once she releases you from her hold, you wipe the wetness from your face. You feel yourself calming down.
âThank you,â you say. Even if all you want to do in the moment is wallow in your own self-pity, you canât let that be the rest of your life. Once you feel confident you wonât start crying again, you tell Chaewon everything that happened with Beomgyu. Sheâs quiet the whole time, nodding as you explain the whole ordeal. You donât have it in you to joke about it right now, and you appreciate that she doesnât try to either.
âWell, how do you feel? Do you love Beomgyu?â she asks.
You sigh. This is a loaded question. âIâm not in love with him, but I do love him. Even after everything he did, I still love him. I probably always will.â
Chaewon nods slowly and hums in acknowledgement. She takes a minute to ask her next question. âWhat about Soobin?â
You pout as you ponder it. When you think about being with Soobin now, itâs not heart fluttering anymore. Beomgyu ruined that for you. Maybe Beomgyu ruined any man for you. You canât imagine talking to another guy, nowânot for a while, anyway.
âIâm not in love with him either. I donât know how I feel now,â you answer honestly.
You get another cryptic hum from Chaewon at that. âI think you should see Soobin tomorrow and see if that clears things up.â
Tomorrow? Thatâs so soon. You need time to recover from today. The thought of meeting up with Soobin fills you with some sort of dread and fear.
âI donât know if I can ever see him again,â you admit.
Itâs too late for you to come back from this. The damage is irreparable. Beomgyu has carved his name into you, and you can scratch it away all you want, but the slate will never be clean again. Youâll always be marred.
âSee him one more time,â Chaewon insists. âDonât give up yet.â You feel a little bit of life leave you as you sigh. Youâre not the fighter that Chaewon wants you to be. Youâve tried so hard, but it never worked.
She puts a hand on your shoulder and continues, âText him. Ask him to go out with you tomorrow. You can still make this work.â She picks up your phone and puts it in your hand.
You look into her eyes. She has enough hope in them to encourage you to unlock your phone and go to Soobinâs messages. You stare at your texts from earlier, regretting how you didnât just accept his offer to hang out. You wonder how differently your day would have gone.
You take a deep breath and look at Chaewon for reassurance. Her smile gives you the courage to send something over.
If youâre free tomorrow, Iâd love to go out
You doubt heâs awake right now since itâs so late, but youâll settle with seeing his response in the morning. Chaewon encourages you to get some rest, and you think half of the reason is because sheâs tired too, but you donât argue. If youâre seeing Soobin tomorrow, youâll need as much rest as you can get tonight. Youâll sleep away the pain and open your heart up to whatever comes with Soobin tomorrow.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
You do your best to not think about Beomgyu at all as soon as you meet up with Soobin. You want to enjoy your day, and youâll be damned if you donât at least try. Youâve put up with so much, you need a break. A day out with Soobin could offer you that solace.
Itâs colder by the lake that you walk along the edge of, but the sight is so nice that you donât mind it. Being outside is helping you feel better, too. The lake is still mostly ice, with fresh snow piled on top of it.
âIâm glad we get to spend time together today,â Soobin says, walking slower until he comes to a stop. He looks angelic even with his nose red from the cold.
âMe too,â you say. âIâm sorry itâs been so long.â
âItâs okay, Iâm sure you were busy.â You canât look him in the eye when he says that, it hurts too much. You werenât nearly as busy as he thinks you were. Your mind was preoccupied with someone else.
âHow has work been?â You almost cringe at how surface level the question feels. Youâve been past the small talk stage for a while now, but youâre having trouble thinking of what else to talk about. Itâs not like you can talk about your own life as of recent.
âItâs been okay. I miss you sometimes when Iâm working in the library,â he says. Your heart should flutter at that. You should feel weak in the knees and butterflies in your stomach. Instead, you feel something inside you shrivel up. You push past the feeling, still determined to try to save this.
âI wish I went over more.â You wish you did a lot of things different.
âYou still can,â he says, hopeful. You pray that heâs oblivious to your uncertainty. You smile at him, hoping it doesnât look as forced as it feels.
âI can,â you agree. A beat of silence follows. You look out to the frozen lake. In the summer, this place is alive with the sound of birds chirping and people laughing. Itâs quite different now. You look at the barren trees and strain your ears for any noise.
You donât usually hate winter, but this year it feels eternal. Youâre dying for the snow to start melting and to feel the sun again. The sight of flowers in bloom, of leaves returning to trees, is something you find yourself craving more than ever.
âDo you like the snow?â you ask, turning to Soobin.
âI love it. It makes everything look brighter.â You nod, looking back out to the world. The sunlight reflects off the stretch of snow, and you suppose it does look brighter like this. A gust of wind sends snow blowing at the two of you. You flinch, and he laughs.
âHave you ever gone skiing?â he asks.
You shake your head. âI went snowboarding with Beomgyu once, but I hated it. I had so many bruises the next day.â You laugh a little at the memory.
âIâve been waiting to hear that,â Soobin says. You look at him in confusion. âYour laugh,â he clarifies.
âOh.â You feel your face heat up.
âI love skiing, even though Iâm not great at it. You should try. I know a great place. We can fall and get matching bruises,â he says, grinning. It puts a smile on your face, and you donât have to force it this time.
âI donât know if I can take up that offer,â you say.
Soobin nods. âThatâs okay.â
It goes quiet again after that. Silence doesnât bother you normally, but it feels deeper than usual when thereâs nothing going on around you. You sway on your feet, kicking awkwardly at the snow.
âAre you alright? Youâre never this quiet,â Soobin notes. You sigh. You couldnât even begin to explain how you feel to him.
âI donât know. Iâm sorry Iâm such a bore today,â you apologize, wanting to shrink into yourself.
âIâm never bored of you. Tell me whatâs going on,â he prompts, looking at you attentively. Youâre flattered at how he shows his care for you.
You stare at him for a long second, wondering how much would be acceptable to spill. âItâs just Beomgyu.â
Soobin laughs for a second at that. âThatâs not the first time I heard that sentence.â He doesnât look upset or bitter, but it still makes you feel bad. Even if heâs joking, itâs true that you keep bringing Beomgyu up around him.
âI donât know what to do about him anymore.â You wish you had the guts to say more, but youâre a coward.
Soobin takes a while to respond to that, so long that you think he might just drop the conversation. His smile has shrunk, and you fear that heâs finally putting the pieces together. âYou do what feels right,â he advises.
You swallow, trying to calm your nerves. âHow do I know whatâs right?â Your brows are upturned, lips pouted as you struggle to draw a conclusion. His eyes trail down your face like heâs assessing you.
âYour heart will tell you.â He has no clue the torment your heartâs been through. The poor thing is too weak to make any decisions. Following it will lead you nowhere.
You shake your head. âNo it wonât.â
He sighs, and thatâs when you know heâs caught onto your dilemma. âYou already know what your heart wants. Youâre just ignoring it.â
His words strike you with panic. You search his eyes to try to find the answer heâs come to. âWhat do you mean?â you ask.
âI just feel likeâŠâ Soobin starts. You hang onto his words as he struggles to finish his thought. âYouâre always thinking of him.â
Your heart sinks. It feels like the world has gone weak, and everything around you is ready to collapse. Can you even deny what he said? You open your mouth to try, but any noise struggles to come out.
âSo, can I ask you something?â he continues.
You nod. This moment feels so delicate and fragile, youâre scared of breaking it. Your voice comes out in a whisper when you respond, âYes.â
âDid you like me at all?â His eyes dart between yours.
You hate this so much. You canât protect your pride. Guilt spills out from the pit of your stomach and sickens you. Have you turned into something vile? Have you hurt Soobin so much?
âOf course I did. Youâre wonderful,â you answer honestly. He wipes a tear from your cheek when it falls from your eye.
âAnd now?â He keeps his hand on your face. You can't stand his kindness. The knife twists further.
âI donât know. BeomgyuâheâŠâ You donât even know where to go with that sentence.
âHe fell for you?â he fills in. âI can see why.â He brushes your hair back. Even now, his smile is pure and soft.
âSoobinâŠâ Youâre stuck with the most impossible dilemma. A selfish part of you begs to keep Soobin around. The butterflies he summons still come back to life at times like these. Youâll never have to question his sanity. What bloomed between you was innocent and untarnished until Beomgyu dug his claws into you.
The other half of you tells you to stop torturing everyone. Yourself, Soobin, Beomgyuâyou all suffer the longer you remain on the fence. You canât have both men in your life, and you know that youâre not going to give up Beomgyu so easily. You just wish you could figure something out.
âI know your choice,â he says, breaking you out of your thoughts. How? How can he know so clearly when not even you do?
He takes your hand and brings it to his lips. The most gentle kiss youâve ever felt is placed delicately onto it. You blink up at him. Itâs almost like you can already see him flickering away.
Heâs letting you go.
You feel the moment melting. You feel the world slowly coming back to life around you, and you want to ask it for one more minute. One more minute, where you and Soobin can be the only two people that exist. Heâs putting your hand down, heâs releasing his hold, heâs getting ready to go. You know better than to cry and beg for him now. This is what has to happen.
âDo you know your way home from here?â he asks.
Youâre crushed, but you donât show it. âYes.â
He steps back. âIâm glad I knew you. Youâre the best thing this city has to offer.â
âThatâs not true.â There is nothing more cursed in this city than you.
He smiles at you. Itâs the last time youâll ever see it. âIt is. I hope he helps you see that.â
Thatâs the last thing he says to you before he leaves for good. You watch him walk away. Your feet donât itch to run for him. Your hands donât yearn to tug him back. The only thing you want now is to see your best friend.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
You try to control the way your body shakes as you stand in front of the door. You need to get yourself together. You steady your breathing. Your fist meets the door to knock on it gently, like youâre unsure if you actually want to go in or not.
Youâre glad you ran out of tears already. It would be quite embarrassing for Chaewon to open the door to you crying for the second day in a row.
She assesses you with a frown. âIt didnât go well, did it?â
Thereâs no need to sugar coat it. âItâs over.â
Chaewonâs lips part in surprise. Sheâs quiet, and for the first time, it seems like she doesnât know what to say. You walk to her room without a word, and she follows just as silently. You take your usual spots on her bed, and you try to make yourself feel something. You just come up empty.
âAre you okay?â Chaewon asks, breaking the silence hesitantly.
âI guess,â you answer. You didnât expect Soobin to let you go. Selfishly, you thought he would never leave you. Chaewon sighs heavily, but you donât dare to look at her right now. Whether itâs disappointment or sadness on her face, you donât want to know.
Karma must be real. This was always bound to happen, you realize. This is some cosmic joke, some lesson from the universe to tell you what happens when you let control slip out of your hands. You dug your own grave. Soobin was always going to leave you.
A pang in your chest strikes you when you think of the beginning. Soobinâs shy introduction at the library, his giggles at your flirtations, his eagerness to keep you talking. Everything was so light and easy. You couldâve sworn there was an invisible string connecting you.
âIâm sorry. Itâs killing me that I canât do anything for you,â Chaewon says, and you finally look at her. Her eyes are brimming with tears, lips quivering in an effort to not cry. You frown and hold her hand.
âYouâve done everything for me,â you correct. If it werenât for all her talks with you in the past couple months, you would have gone crazy long ago. Youâd be caught between Beomgyuâs teeth. Now youâre here, sulking over Soobin with her, instead of going home to your other best friend. âYou helped me more than you think.â
Chaewon gives you a small smile as a tear falls from her eye. Her hand squeezes yours, and it makes you genuinely smile for a second. âIâm always here for you,â she says.
âSame here, for anything.â She scooches closer to you, and you rest your head on her shoulder.
âHow are you feeling?â You ponder her question for a minute, trying to match a label to your inner turmoil.
You sigh, âNumb.â
She hums. âWhat are you thinking about?â That question brings the pang in your chest back. You can do nothing but succumb to the defeat and hopelessness of it all.
âWe never even kissed.â You stare into nothingness as you meddle with the fact. Itâs a stupid thing to be upset about, but you feel like you had your one shot at romance ripped away from you. Who can you blame besides yourself?
You couldâve had innocent, pure love. You couldâve had sweet kisses and interlocked hands and a hundred cute little dates, but you traded it all for anger-laced intimacy, endless confusion, and nights ending in tears. Youâre a fool.
Chaewon looks at you with such pity that it makes your stomach twist. You must seem so pathetic right now. A part of you wishes youâd run off to Beomgyu instead. He wouldâve pampered you, made you forget about Soobin if only for a moment. You know you were right to see Chaewon instead, though. Youâve made enough dumb decisions with your life. Youâre sick of destroying everything because you canât let go of Beomgyu.
Chaewon seems to be thinking the same thing. âI canât stop thinking about where youâd be now if Beomgyu never brought himself into this.â
You tighten your lips, not knowing what to say. You donât want to think about it at all. âYeah.â
She turns to you fully, looking more serious now. âYouâre not going back to Beomgyu again. Donât let him get away with this,â she says.
Itâs not that easy. What does she expect you to do instead? Ignore him, drop him now that itâs already too late? Youâd gain nothing from that at this point.
âItâs useless,â you say. She takes both your hands in hers, holding them over her heart and looking into your eyes.
âI care about you too much to watch you spiral like this. Stay with me. Iâll help you bring your things here.â She looks at you with pleading eyes. Your heartbeat races. The choice is yours.
âI canât burden you like that,â you say, shaking your head.
âIt would burden me more to know youâre letting Beomgyu win again,â she insists. You exhale shakily, trying to stop your thoughts from flying by so fast. You need a clearer mind to be able to make this decision.
âI need to think about it.â Chaewon nods, always understanding of you.
âJust let me know. I promise Iâll be there in a heartbeat.â You feel like you owe this girl the world.
You look out the window, noticing how dark it is. You would stay over her house again, but something inside you urges you to go home. You shift on the bed, stretching as you get ready to stand up again.
âI think Iâm gonna head home now,â you say, and you see her eyebrows knit in confusion immediately. You know what sheâs thinking. âItâs not for Beomgyu. Itâs for me.â
She still looks uneasy, but she doesnât put up a fight. Youâre glad she saves her lectures on Beomgyu this once. She gives you a parting hug.
âThink about my offer,â she says as you pull away. Her eyes are hopeful, like sheâs counting on you for this one thing.
âI will,â you promise.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
The moment you get home, you take yourself straight to Beomgyuâs room. Itâs late, and you know he must be sleeping, but you donât want to feel alone for even a second. You donât want to think about Soobin.
Beomgyuâs room is slightly illuminated by the glow of his gaming setup. He looks so peaceful laying in his bed. His chest rises and falls in a perfect rhythm, and you find yourself calming down. You stand there in the doorway for a minute, debating whether or not it was too far to go and wrap your arms around him.
He stirs in his sleep. Perhaps he felt your presenceâyou wouldnât doubt it at this point. The boy has always seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to you.
âGyu?â you whisper, testing if heâs waking up or not. His eyes flutter open, so slightly and sleepily that you barely see it. When he notices you standing at his door, he shifts on the bed to make room for you. He pats the spot next to him on the mattress, and your body responds to his call immediately. It seems the magnets attracting you together have never left.
You settle in beside him, cozying up to his warmth. Your eyes are unblinking as they stare at his ceiling. You barely feel like youâre in your own body as Beomgyu tucks you into his side. You only sort of register it as the weight of his arm falls across your waist.
âYou came back,â Beomgyu says, voice scratchy and deep from sleep.
âYou knew I would.â He doesnât respond. He knows itâs true.
His breathing is starting to grow slower again, and your heart pounds in unease. You wonât be able to fall asleep. You donât want him to leave you in the real world right now.
âBeomgyu,â you say in a quiet voice. He hums in response, and you feel the vibration of it in your bones. âI ended things with Soobin.â
He freezes. You donât even feel him breathe anymore. You keep your gaze off of him; if heâs happy, you donât want to see it. He tries to sit up, but you coax him back down. You donât want to be up right now.
You continue, âOr, I guess, he ended things with me.â
His silence would irritate you if you didnât feel so numb. You focus on your breathing, still staring at the ceiling. You feel weightless, like your body could break from the slightest shove.
Finally, he moves beside you. Itâs just a turn of his head, but itâs enough to make you feel a little less stiff. You feel his eyes on you, but you canât be bothered to meet them.
âWell, Iâm not gonna say Iâm sorryâŠâ he says. You donât need to look at him to know that heâs smiling.
âI know. Cause youâre an asshole.â
âBut Iâm not a liar.â
âSometimes I wish you were,â you sigh. Your life mightâve been easier in that case.
He ignores that. âIâm here for you. Whatever you want, whatever you miss from him, Iâm here.â
You donât need that. You just need a cork in your chest to fill the space your heart has leapt from. His bandages will never stop the bleeding when itâs this profuse.
âI think you were right, I donât know if this cityâs right for me,â you admit quietly, resting your head on his chest. You hope the world is kind enough to let you find sleep tonight. His response comes in the form of hugging you closer to his body. You let it happen, soaking in all his warmth and comfort. This might be the last time you see him, after all.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
You donât say goodbye. You pack a couple bags while Beomgyuâs not home, doing your best to ignore your blurred vision from the tears welling in your eyes. Chaewon greets you with open arms when you arrive at her place.
âJust these?â Chaewon asks, picking up your bags.
âYeah, I didnât grab everything. I left most of my stuff there,â you explain, voice hoarse from your crying earlier.
âThatâs okay.â She brings your bags to her work room, which she promised to repurpose for you as your own room. You tried saying that you could crash on her couch for now, but she insisted that sheâd do this for you, even if itâs just for a couple weeks.
The room is mostly emptyâChaewon mustâve been up all night clearing it outâsave for her desk in the corner. Youâre reminded of when you moved into your apartment with Beomgyu. The thrill of independence, of being a young adult in a new corner of the world. Everything was exciting and new back then, and you miss the innocence that came with it.
âMy friend has a twin size mattress that heâs bringing over later today, we can find a frame for that at some furniture store,â Chaewon says.
âOh my gosh, your friend doesnât have to do that!â you exclaim. You already feel yourself becoming a burden. âAn air mattress is fine.â
âStop, Iâm probably doing him a favor helping him get rid of it. Iâm not making you sleep on an air mattress, those things suck.â
âWe shouldnât buy a bed frame yet, I donât know how long Iâll be here,â you reason, but Chaewonâs not hearing it, shaking her head and dismissing the thought with a wave of her hand.
âWe can just get something cheap. I know a really good place. I got mine there for, like, three hundred.â Your eyes widen. You canât control your natural reaction to a great bargain. âYeah, I know. So letâs go there.â
The rest of the day goes by in a blur of setting the bed frame up, putting half of your things away, and chatting with Chaewon about how nervous you are about this.
The two of you are cramped into your twin bed, talking the night away like it was any normal sleepover. Chaewon gave you one of her LED lamps, and its multicolored glow is the only source of light in the room. You lean into her, and she lets you practically use her as a pillow.
âDid you tell Beomgyu?â she asks. Her fingers run through your hair calmingly.
âNo.â You donât know if you should feel bad for that. He is your best friend...
âYou donât have to,â she reassures. âYou should mute his number. Heâs going to find out fast and bug you nonstop.â
Your eyes well up once again. You would have never, ever imagined your friendship with Beomgyu would come to this. Is it for the better? Youâll hate yourself forever if this is the wrong choice. If only you could see into the future. That would have saved you a lot of trouble long ago.
âHeâll know I came to you. He knows exactly where to show up,â you say.
âHe could knock on my door all damn day if he wants, heâs not coming in.â
âWith how he is, I wouldnât be surprised if he brought a blanket and started sleeping at your door,â you joke. Your laughter is quick to turn to tears, and you donât even know why. You wipe your eyes, not wanting to cry again, but you canât help the loss you feel. Beomgyuâs your best friend. You just wish it couldâve stayed that way.
âItâs okay,â Chaewon comforts.
âNo, I donât want to cry,â you say, sniffling back the rest of your tears. âLetâs just watch videos and fall asleep.â
Chaewon leans over to pick up her tablet at the end of your bed, unlocking it to resume the movie you were playing in the background earlier. âDo you still want to watch this?â she asks.
âWe should put on YouTube,â you offer instead. You yawn, closing your eyes as she looks for something interesting to put on. Youâre already asleep by the time she makes her choice.
ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ ââââ
The first thing you see after waking up is Beomgyuâs texts. Chaewon would tell you to ignore him, but sheâs sleeping soundly next to you and therefore canât judge you for opening his texts immediately.
[Beomgyu] u out for the night?
[Beomgyu] helloooooo
[Beomgyu] ok well make sure u get to work on time
You should be getting ready for work. You shouldnât be answering him. You donât even know what to say, but your fingers itch to respond.
He still doesnât know you wonât be coming back for a bit. Should you keep it that way? An ache in your heart begs you to spill everything to him. You look at Chaewon again, making sure sheâs asleep. You look back to your phone with a sigh and let your fingers fly across the keyboard without a second thought.
You donât reread the text once you send it. The only move you make afterwards is to mute his notifications. Something about it makes you feel so empty. You donât know if you feel like a whole new person or the shell of a person. You donât have time to linger on it either, because you have to get ready for work.
The feeling persists throughout the day. You feel like a robot, like youâre living life on autopilot, letting your body carry you around while your soul is busy searching for the important answers. You donât care which font your boss would like best for the title on this report, you donât care what kind of smoothie your coworker should get. You want to know how to fix your life.
Your walk back from work is much stranger now that you canât take the path your feet have memorized so well. The thought that this could be the path youâd walk to walk everyday for weeks or even months strikes you with a sort of dismal feeling. This feels different than going to Chaewonâs place after work just to hang out. This is going to Chaewonâs place because thatâs where you have to go.
Youâre not granted reprieve from the whirlwind of thoughts as you make your way home to Chaewon. You question every choice youâve made up to this point, all the way back to if moving here with Beomgyu was ever a good idea in the first place.
Is there a way to repair all the damage that has been done? The thought of starting all over again is frightening. If you ruined it all, if thereâs no going back to how things were, then you might as well make a life for yourself somewhere new.
Maybe you could convince Chaewon to fly across the country with you. You picture a life where you donât have to worry about bumping into Beomgyu or Soobin again. It both frightens and intrigues you. You canât be so greedy, though; she has everything set out for her here. You canât rip her away from the city that loves her so much. You just wish it was as good to you.
The possibilities of what could have been haunt you. You look at passing couples with a sense of envy, picturing you and Soobin in their place. Every store you pass, every street you walk down is a memory that youâve made. Itâs almost too much to handle.
Your feet almost stop as you pass the library. You only let your eyes linger on the building for a few seconds, but thatâs long enough to make your insides twist. The warm lights that seep through the windows donât feel comforting to you anymore. You walk a little faster and tug your jacket closer to your body. The trip back to Chaewonâs feels a little colder now.
You open your messages with Beomgyu as you near her place. You donât know if you should be happy or scared that he still hasnât responded. You finally allow yourself to read your parting message, feeling a little emptier as the words linger in your mind with nothing back from him.
Hi Gyu, Iâm staying with Chaewon for a bit. Iâll come back if and when Iâm ready. I really regret a lot of my recent decisions, and I think I just needed this as a refresh.
Donât be mad at me. Youâll always be my best friend. Love ya
You swallow down the knot building in your throat. This is for the better. You repeat the phrase like a mantra as you make it to Chaewonâs house. You wonder when her place will start feeling enough like home, when youâll stop craving to return to your real one. You open the door and shove down all your thoughts and feelings.
This is for the better.
notes: sorry team soobin. sorry team beomgyu. no one wins... and maybe that's what needed to happen... much love and i hope you enjoyed the read!!!
taglist: @beomgyusluver @blankliving @ewsnup @flowzel @immelissaaa @multistansimp4life @nanamongmong
© delugyu 2025, do not translate or reupload
#txt x reader#beomgyu x reader#soobin x reader#txt smut#beomgyu smut#txt angst#soobin angst#beomgyu angst#txt fic#beomgyu fic#soobin fic
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oliver is a whore who absolutely does not commit to you. it's very transparent that's just like. not his thing. that's not what he's looking for and it's not a farce. he wants a bedmate and someone to share space with but like... not the ties of a relationship. genuinely does not want to be tied down and it makes him a worse man.
HOWEVER i do think things changes for him when you 1) actively turn down opportunities to go to his games (this is so hot to him. your disinterest makes his dick so hard it's crazy)
and 2)
you're out together, maybe. a night at the club or a crowded bar. it's a celebratory thing after a game or a birthday. a crazy night regardless. oliver has a decently high alcohol tolerance and doesn't mind staying only mildly buzzed and keeping an eye on his teammates. and you. you're squirrely with him that night. oliver has thought about dancing with you, he wants to, but he holds back on initiating. he likes when you come to him (at this point anyways. guy's world is about to be fucked).
ohh man. but the team has a little private area for bottle service. it's a good place to lounge. oliver is just scrolling on his phone when you practically crash into his side, press your lips to his cheek, and laugh. for a split second, he thinks you're trashed. but another look at your face, your drawn up brows and wilted lips, you look more scared, than drunk.
you lean to whisper in his ear, arms wrapped around his shoulders, "some guys won't stop following me. play along, please?"
and you look at him with big soft, scared eyes and like. damn. his axis changes a little bit. you coming to him for safe harbor actually rewrites his brain chemistry so quickly, it's downright concerning.
he's not even thinking words when he pulls you into his lap and corrals you by the waist. he presses a kiss to your temple, laughs nice and low in that way that makes you shudder. "'play along'? you're hardly asking for anything, sweetheart."
it's. insane. how good it feels to have you in his lap and close when he's fully aware that you've been stalked like prey. all it takes is one look shot in the way you came, and whoever had been lingering around to bother you disappears into the crowd.
"they're gone," he tells you. "they shouldn't bother you anymore."
"thank god," you sigh. "a-and thank you."
you attempt to climb off his lap, but he holds you there. steady, "why don't you stay awhile? we can grab you some water."
"... sure." you yawn. it's... really cute. oliver's never lucidly thought of the action as cute when he's seen you yawn before, but it really is. "just don't be weird about it."
"wouldn't dream of it."
oh and when you grumble and settle your cheek against your collarbone and doze off on him? and he gets to ever so casually pull the hem of your dress down to the better cover your thighs? so no one can see that much of you?? just him.
oh he's fucked for you
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Rip Tide | Chapter VI
[ MDNI ] [ word count: 8.928 ] [ Masterlist ] đđšđ§đđđąđ§đŹ: Canonverse/Canon-Divergent; Dark! Content; NSFW (p in v, unprotected, implied m!masturbation); Strong Language; Cheating; Drug Use; Mentions of overdose; Some shades of Munchausen syndrome from dear old Rafe; Manipulation; Toxic, obsessive behaviour; Stalking; Violence; DUBCON/NONCON; My writing is really pretentious and English is not my first language, so please feel free to call me out in whichever grammar mistakes you might find find.
đđźđŠđŠđđ«đČ | You and JJ have always been in each other's orbit. He's your brotherâs best friend, the guy you've known your entire life. He was kind, protective, familiar. You never meant for the two of you to start hooking up. And you never meant for it to last so long. But when this boy you thought you'd come to know like the back of your hand turns out to be no better than the men he'd warned you about, you find yourself in the sights of the guy he hates most, regardless of wether you want that or not.
OMG Bonnie what is that? A JJ chapter? Yeah, maybe I went insane. Likes, asks, reblogs, and comments are always greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance for reading <3
JJ takes a slow step forward, his shoulders rolling back, his fingers still coiled tight around the handlebars of his bike. Thereâs a heat rolling off of him, a barely contained energy that makes your stomach twist.
His gaze drifts over to you. The rage burning through his eyes as he climbs down, drifting through Rafeâ arms, how they wrap around you, how close heâs holding you to him. â Whatâs going on, huh? â His voice is taught, barely restrained. You think of the hiss a rattlesnake makes before pouncing, the barely restrained violence simmering under each sound. â What are you doing here?
â I could ask you the same thing, Maybank. â Rafe hums. You call his name, trying to reel him back before it gets dangerous, but he seems entertained more than anything. â Weâre a little far from the salvation army. Not much for you to do around here.
â Rafe!
The kook holds your hand to his chest when you push him, smiling down at you like itâs the funniest thing in the world. â Iâm just having a little fun with him, thatâs all.
â Get off of her, Rafe.
Heâs looking at you with a focus thatâs never a good sign, but donât miss the way his eyes flick to where Rafeâs hand still lingers at your waist. The moment stretches, thick with the weight of his anger, but you canât bring yourself to move first.
Rafe doesnât bother hiding his grin. If anything, it grows, slow and deliberate, like this is the most fun heâs had all night. â Why? You scared she wonât come back when she realizes thereâs more to life than being leeched off of by her brotherâs friends?
â Rafe, this isnât funny.
â JJ must think it is, itâs the only thing he does well. â Rafe drawls, tilting his head as he finally steps back from youâbut not without dragging his fingers along your side, a pointed reminder. â Right, JJ?
JJâs lips press into a thin line. His fingers flex around the handlebars, his nostrils flaring as he exhales hard through his nose. His gaze cuts to you now, sharp and demanding. â What the hell are you doing with this asshole?
His voice grates you. Every word echoing in your head like nails on a chalkboard.
â This is none of your business, JJ.
He doesnât even pretend to hear you. â Kie told me what happened at work. We were all worried about you.
You open your mouth, but Rafe hums before you can speak, stepping in again, loose and easy, barely putting in effort but still commanding all the space between you. â Worried? Were you worried that youâre finally gonna have to get a job and deal with your own shit?!
â You donât know what youâre talking about, okay?! Shut the fuck up!
â Or what? Are you gonna freeload off of me too?
JJ moves before you can stop him. His bike crashes to the pavement as he lunges, fists already clenched, fury twisting his face. Rafe barely shifts, like heâs been expecting this all along, like heâs been waiting for the moment he can finally push JJ over the edge.
â THIS SHIT ISNâT ABOUT YOU RAFE!
You step in fast, hands catching JJâs arm before he can swing, your pulse hammering. â JJ, donât. Fuck off. Donât fucking do this right now.
â Heâs the one who needs to fuck off! Weâre talking right now, itâs none of his fucking business! â His breath is ragged, his muscles stiff under your grip. But Rafe just grins, smug and taunting, eyes alight with something dark. â Tell him to go away.
â You canât tell me that yourself? Is that how much of a bitch you are, JJ?
JJ lunges, nearly pushing you into the asphalt by mistake. Rafeâs the one that catches you, his hand steadying you as you hold JJ back. â LET GO OF ME!
â JJ step the fuck back, Iâm not even kidding you.
â He started it!
Rafe whistles lowly, laughing just under his breath as his arm wraps around you again. â Your brother really knows how to pick them, doesnât he?
â Not helping, Rafe.
â Iâm just trying to enjoy myself while you talk him down from his tantrum. Iâm great.
â Stop fucking talking to her like that!
â Or what? You gonna hit me? â He muses, tilting his head, like the thought actually amuses him. â Go ahead, man. Take your shot. I bet itâll feel real good.
JJâs jaw tightens, his arm twitching under your hold. You can feel the war inside him, the barely restrained urge to throw that punch, to finally give Rafe the fight heâs clearly asking for.
But you donât let go.
And JJ doesnât swing.
For a second, the only sound is the thick silence between you.
Then Rafe sighs, exaggerated and disappointed. â Shame, â He mutters, stepping back, shaking his head like JJâs let him down. â I was really hoping youâd play along, JJ. Itâs been what? A week since you last got arrested? Has it ever been so long? I bet theyâre missing you down at the station.
He flashes a grin at you, sharp and knowing, before brushing past, hands moving over your back like he owns you. â Yâknow what, baby? We should really get going. Iâm getting kinda bored.
â Youâre out of your fucking mind if you think sheâs going anywhere with you.
â JJ. â You warn, but he doesnât seem to hear you.
â She came here with me, buddy. Maybe you wanna look around you. â He glances at you, blue eyes gleaming as he takes you by the arm. â Câmon. Itâs getting late, right? Your brotherâs probably struggling to figure out the oven right now.
â You donât know what the fuck your talking about. â JJ growls.
â Youâre gonna go home with this pogue? âThe question comes out in a hum, almost condescendingly. His laughter thrills up your spine like a shiver of fear. â Youâre gonna let him strongarm you like this?
You swallow, breathing in deep.
Rafeâs grip on your arm tightens, fingers warm against your skin, but you donât move. His smirk twitchesâjust barelyâbefore he tilts his head, watching you with curiosity, even if the smile heâs giving you doesnât seem too pleased.
JJ notices too. He exhales sharply, barely holding himself together. â Youâre not leaving with him.
His voice is low, coarse. And heâs clinging, moving his arms within your hold like a whiny kid. But itâs not a plea. Itâs a demand.
Rafe hums under his breath, low and pleased, like this is all going exactly how he wanted. â Sheâs not staying for you, JJ. â He flicks his gaze over, like heâs looking at something stuck to the bottom of his shoe. â You have John Bâs useless ass to thank for her not leaving with me right now.
JJ clenches his jaw so tight you swear you hear his molars crack. â Shut the fuck up, Rafe.
Rafe grins, slow and knowing. â I will if she makes me. Right, baby? Maybe you can give me a goodnight kiss before I go.
JJ takes a step forward, but you press a hand to his chest, stopping him. He seethes, nostrils flaring, but you shake your head. â Just go, Rafe. Please. â Your voice isnât sharpâitâs tired, annoyed.
And thatâs exactly why Rafe thrives on it.
He tsks, squeezing your waist in his hold on you before pulling his keys from his pocket. â Thatâs okay. Weâll have plenty of time for that tomorrow, right? â He leans in, voice dipping lower. â You can make it up to me.
You sigh, rubbing your temple. â Rafeâ
â Youâre cute when you get all flustered. â He laughs, tapping your chin with his knuckle. â Iâll call you later.
JJ lunges, and it takes everything in you to shove him back.
Rafe just whistles, all relaxed amusement, stepping back with an easy grin. â Damn, Maybank, youâre really gonna let her hold you back like that?
JJ is shaking in anger, chest heaving.
Rafe doesnât wait for an answer. He shoots you a wink and a lazy salute before finally turning away, tossing over his shoulder, â Donât miss me too much, baby.
JJ exhales sharply, shaking off your hold. His head drops for a second, his hands clenching at his sides before he looks at you, eyes blazing. â What the hell was that?
You swallow hard, the weight in your chest pressing down heavy. â JJâ
But he shakes his head. â Nah. No way. You donât get to brush this off. â His voice is rough, disbelief coating every syllable. â Tell me youâre notâ He stops himself, exhaling sharply again before taking a step back, shaking his head like heâs trying to make sense of it. â Tell me youâre not seriously falling for this shit.
You donât know what to say.
Because maybe you donât have an answer he wants to hear.
â Oh my God. â You donât know what exactly in his face shifts, but you feel the air around you thicken. â You are, arenât you?!
â Spare me the outrage, JJ. Iâm not in the mood for your lectures.
â The guy is a fucking psychopath! Thereâs no fucking way you doât see that! Heâs insane!
You roll your eyes, a sigh falling from your lips before you can think of it. â You say that like youâre some sort of model of normalcy.
â I canât fucking believe you!
â I donât fucking need you to believe me, JJ. Clearly you fucking donât. It doesnât matter what I say, you already have your pitchfork ready! So what exactly am I supposed to be getting out of this?! Huh? Tell me. â A beat of silence lingers between you, as you turn your back on him. Itâs long past 6 PM. The sky is pitch-black. â Can we just go? I donât wanna do this.
You can see the gears turn in his head when you speak. His eyes soften, jaw unclentching. â Iâm trying to look out for you. â You scoff. â Look, I know youâre stressed and all, but you donât need to be taking it out on me, okay?! Chill out.
â Thanks, Mother Teresa. I feel much calmer now.
â Can we just put down the boxing gloves, right now?!
â I donât know JJ, can we? I canât put my guard down with you for a moment. Because thatâs what you do. You tell me I should calm down, and when I do, you come up with some insane shit to piss me off all over again!
JJ watches you, chest still rising and falling like heâs trying to catch a breath that wonât come. Then his expression shiftsâlike something clicks into place, like heâs realizing something he doesnât like.
His lips curl, his tongue running over the inside of his cheek. â Are you serious? â His voice is quieter now, almost disbelieving. â This is where weâre at?
You shake your head, swallowing back the lump in your throat. â I donât want to do this right now, JJ.
â Oh, thatâs rich. You donât wanna do this right now? â He lets out a sharp, humorless laugh. â You wanna pick a better time? Should I make an appointment? Because itâs like you never have time for me these days! Youâll speak your mind, talk all the game you fucking want, but when itâs time to talk about my feelings, suddenly youâre too tired to deal!
Your stomach twists.
JJ scoffs. â You know, I keep trying. I keep trying to get through to you, and you justâ He stops, shakes his head again, shoving a hand through his hair like thatâll help get rid of some of the frustration bleeding off of him.
â Trying to what, JJ? What is it that youâre trying to get through to me so much? That I canât even talk to people while you go around fucking whatever girl you want? â The words come out before you can stop them.
â Thatâs funny, I donât remember leaving with your mortal enemy!
â And I donât remember kissing your best friend after leaving your bed, JJ. But here we are!
JJ goes still.
For a second, neither of you speak.
Then he exhales sharply through his nose, shaking his head like youâve just confirmed something he was trying not to believe. â There you go again, â He mutters, half in laughter, half in scorn. â Youâre insane. Like. Youâre actually sick in the fucking head. You and Rafe are perfect for each other. Maybe thatâs why youâre here right? I was too normal, so you got bored. And thatâs why youâre here in the Country Club, fucking that psychopath!
You stare at him, heart still pounding, but thereâs something else gnawing at the edges of your mind nowâsomething off. Something you didnât notice in the heat of it all.
The country club.
Youâre not at your job.
Youâre not at home.
Youâre not even on your side of the island.
Your stomach twists again.
â JJ, â you start, voice quieter now.
But he doesnât hear it, or he doesnât care. He scoffs again, throwing his hands in the air as he turns away, pacing. â I shouldâve known. I shouldâve listened to John B. He always said you were fucking twisted! But leave it to me! Itâs my fault or thinking you could act like a person for once!
Your pulse stutters.
You donât even register his words.
You donât remember telling him where you were.
Your job isn't anywhere near the Country Club. You didnât text him. You didnât call him.
So how did he find you?
Your skin prickles as you stare at him, the words barely coming out. â JJ... how did you know I was here?
â What?! â He laughs, like youâve just said something stupid, but youâre not gonna let him do this. Keeping your face neutral, even while your blood runs cold, you repeat:
â How did you know where I was? â He looks at you for a moment, frozen in place. You donât even see him breathe. But the thoughts run wild behind his eyes, his mouth hanging open, unable to keep up with the speed at which his mind is running. â Answer me. How did you know I was here, JJ?
â Iâ He swallows, looking between each of your eyes frantically. â I was gonna pick you up at work,
â At a quarter to seven PM? You know I get the bus. It leaves at 5:20. You know that.
â Why are you making a big deal out of this?! I was driving to the wreck and I saw you hereâ
â No you werenât. The wreck is East. To get here, you need to be going West.
Heâs quiet again.
â Are you following me? How did you evenâ Realization dawns on you. JJ and John had your phone all day after you left. The notification you saw when you finally got it back, was from your maps app, which youâve never opened in your life. You pull your phone out of your pocket. The location is on, but you donât remember activating it. You open your messages. The latest contact is JJ. But you havenât texted him in days. The chat is empty. â You sent my phone location to yourself, didnât you? You and John are fuckiâ Your voice dies within your throat. The hair at the back of your neck standing. â John doesnât have my password, though.
â Youâre acting insane.
â How the fuck did you figure out my password, JJ? Itâs a thousand characters long. I expect that shit from Pope, butâ You stop again, opening your settings. A second fingerprint is set there, next to yours. â What the fuck is wrong with you?
â Donât turn this around right now!
â Thatâs rich, JJ! And Iâm the one whoâs insane?! Youâre a fucking stalker!
JJ scoffs, but itâs different nowâless angry, more⊠wounded. Like you just slapped him in the face instead of uncovering something deeply fucked up. He shakes his head, stepping back like he needs distance from you.
â Are you serious right now? â His voice is quieter, rougher. â After everything?
You stare at him, blood still thrumming in your ears. â After everything? JJ, you justâ
â No, you donât get it. You donât fucking get it. â He lets out a breathless laugh, dragging his hand down his face. â I knew something was off. I knew you were pulling away. I knew you were sneaking around, lying to meâ
â Iâm pulling away because youâre messing around with Kie!
â Iâm not! Baby, Iâ Heâs slapping himself, pulling out his hair. â I was trying to make you jealous, okay?! I just want you to pay attention to me! But youâre either glued to your phone talking to Barry, or youâre around John B, doing everything for him, everything I want you to do for me!
â What the fuck are you talking about?! Heâs my fucking brother, JJ!
â BUT HE DOESNâT DESERVE IT! â He screams, the vitriol burning against his lips like acid. â He was always horrible to you, and I was there! I was there! I wanted you!
â What are you talking about?! Youâve hated me since we were kids!
â NO! Iâ I wanted you to look at me. I just wanted you toâPlease. Just look at me, okay? I donât want you sneaking around with Barry or with Rafe, or whatever! I want you here! With me!
â Sneaking aroundâJJ, you broke into my fucking phoneâ
â Because you wouldnât fucking talk to me! â His voice cracks on the last word, and it throws you for a secondâbecause the anger is still there, but thereâs something else now, something desperate. His hands are in his hair, gripping like heâs holding himself together. â Do you even hear yourself? Do you even care? Or are you just gonna act like Iâm some fucking psycho and not the guy whoâs been there for you? The guy whoâwho has wanted you since I was kid?!
Your breath catches.
JJ exhales sharply, jaw clenching like he hates himself for saying it, for letting it slip out in the middle of this.
â You were there for me. â He continues. â When your brother couldnât be. When my dad startedâ When he drank. You remember that, donât you? You took care of me. You always took care of me. John B couldnât get that! Even if he tried, yâknow, who knows, maybe he did! But he was always this golden boy! Your dad, heâ He treated him like he could do no wrongâ Heâd never get it. But you did! You always got me!
Youâre quiet. Because you remember.
You remember taking a beating for JJ the day John sent you there to give him his surfboard. You remember laying there on the floor, his dad pulling you by the hair, because you stood there while JJ ran. You remember the face he made when his dad threw you out.
How he fell apart in your arms.
How you remained there, holding him, as he bled through your clothes.
And it tears you apart.
Because the way he spoke to you before, is exactly the way his father used to speak to him.
â But yeah. Sure. Iâm the stalker. Iâm the crazy one. â He laughs bitterly, shaking his head. â Youâre so fucking worried about me following you, but you donât care that youâre running straight to him! â His eyes flash with something sharp, something dark. â You think he gives a shit about you? You think Rafe fucking Cameron isnât watching your every move, waiting for you to fuck up so he can sink his claws in? Like Barry did? â He steps forward, voice lowering like heâs telling you some ugly secret.
Your heart jumps in your chest at the mention. JJ knows this is a low blow. â You donât know anything about Barry and me.
â I know he hurt you. â Heâs almost pleading. â He hurt you because you were with him, when you shouldâve been with me.
â JJâ
â I did this to protect you. Let me protect you. Like you protected me.
There it is. The flip.
You feel like you might faint.
JJ exhales shakily, his fingers flexing like he doesnât know what to do with his hands anymore. The anger is fizzling out, but whatâs left is somehow worseâsmaller. He looks at you, really looks at you, and suddenly itâs like all the fight drains out of him.
â I canât keep doing this. â His voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper. He shakes his head, eyes flickering away like heâs embarrassed, like youâve just torn him down completely. â I donâtâI donât know how else to prove it to you. How else to make you see that I just wanted to keep you safe.
His shoulders drop. He looks exhausted.
â But you donât believe me. You wonât ever fucking believe me, will you? â He laughs, but itâs hollow, broken. â It doesnât matter what I do. Doesnât matter that I would literally die for youâJesus Christ, I would, and you donât even fucking see it. Iâd do anything for you, and youâre just standing there, looking at me like Iâm a fucking monster.
You open your mouth, but nothing comes out.
â I meanâfuck, what am I supposed to do? Huh? â His voice cracks. His eyes are glassy now, but he swipes a hand over his face before anything can fall. â You want me to apologize? I will. You want me to beg? Fine. â He laughs breathlessly, shoulders shaking as he sinks down onto the curb like his body just gave up. â Iâll fucking beg.
Your stomach twists.
â Justâ he exhales, hands clinging to your hips. â Can we go home? â His voice is so quiet now, so defeated. â Please. I donât wanna fight anymore. I donât wannaâfuck, I donât even care. Just let me take you home. Thatâs all I want.
He looks up at you, and for the first time tonight, he looks fragile. Worn down. Like heâs carrying something too heavy for him, and the only thing keeping him from collapsing is you.
And God help you, part of you wants to believe him.
â JJ. â Your voice is sharp, but your hands are shaking. â This isnât about thatâthis isnât about you wanting to take me home. This is about what you didâ
â I know! â he cuts in, his breath coming too fast, too uneven. His hands fist in his hair, like heâs trying to hold himself together by sheer force. â I know, okay? I fucked up, I fucking knowâ He stumbles over his own words, gasping, like the weight of it is physically pressing down on him. â But I canâtâ
His voice breaks.
â I canât lose you over this. Over Rafe fucking Cameron and his bullshit.
The air between you shifts. Something inside him just collapses.
â Please. â His chest is heaving, his eyes wet, his whole body trembling like heâs about to snap. â I donâtâI donât know how to make you stay. I donât know how to fix this. â His voice cracks again, and this time, his knees buckle.
You barely have time to react before heâs falling into you, grabbing fistfuls of your clothes, his breath hitching against your belly. His whole body is shaking.
â Iâm sorry. â His words spill out in a frantic, broken rush. â Iâm so fucking sorry. Pleaseâplease donât go. Justâjust let me take you home, baby, pleaseâ
His arms tighten around you, like if he holds on hard enough, he can force you to stay. And God, you shouldnât. You should push him away, make him listen, make him answer for this.
But heâs crying.
JJ Maybankâloud, reckless, impossible JJâis sobbing into you like a little kid, like heâs breaking apart right in front of you.
You inhale shakily, your hands hovering before you finally give in, falling before him on the ground, wrapping your arms around him, pressing your cheek against his hair.
â Itâs okay, â you whisper, even though it isnât. Even though nothing is.
But itâs all he wants to hear.
JJ exhales sharply, his whole body collapsing into yours with something like relief. â Donât leave me.
â I wonât.
And maybe you mean it.
Maybe thatâs the scariest part.
You let him fall apart against you, his body wracked with silent tremors as he clings to you like a lifeline. His breath is uneven, ragged, hot against your skin, and his fingers fist into your top, desperate, like letting go isnât an option. He presses closer, his whole body sinking into yours, like heâs trying to disappear inside you, like thatâs the only place he might be safe.
And you let him. You hold him as his shoulders shake, as he fights to keep from outright sobbing, as the weight of whatever broke him presses down so hard you swear you can feel it, too. Heâs unraveling in your arms, piece by piece, like heâs been holding himself together for so long that the second you touched him, he lost the strength to keep pretending.
So you kiss the top of his head, soft but steady, and something in him shifts.
JJ exhales, a long, shuddering breath against your skin, like youâve reached inside him and pulled all that tension from his chest. His body, wound so tightly, begins to loosenâhis grip on you eases, but only enough for his hands to smooth over your back instead of clutching desperately. He leans into you now not just from pain, but from something quieter, something softer.
You feel it in the way his breathing slows, in the way the tremors start to fade as your fingers trace slow circles over his back. His arms tighten around you again, but itâs different this timeânot frantic, not desperate. Just⊠needing you. Needing to be here, against you, in your warmth, in this small, quiet moment where he can finally let go.
His face stays buried in the crook of your neck, and when he speaks, his voice is hoarse but steady.
â Iâm sorry, â He murmurs, again and again, lips moving against your skin.
You shake your head slightly, your fingers still stroking his back. â Itâs okay.
And maybe for him, it actually is. Maybe just for a moment, with your hands in his hair and his body wrapped around yours, he feels something like peace. He doesnât let goânot yet. He holds on, reveling in the comfort you offer, pressing into you like he never wants to leave. Like youâre the first real breath of air heâs had in a long time.
You stay like that, until the silence grows too heavy and you sigh. â We should go.
JJ doesnât argue. He pulls back slowly, blinking, his eyes still red-rimmed but calmer, softer. His fingers linger at your waist before he finally steps up, exhaling like heâs reluctant to leave the space you created for him.
The drive is quiet, with him pulling your arms tighter around him everytime he gets the chance. You donât protest. For a moment it's almost comforting, sitting on the back of his bike, without a word being spoken between you. But the feeling sits there, in your chest, that shiver you got when you realized heâs been following you.
It's not just caution.
It's not strangeness.
It's fear. A real, tangible fear of what he did, of what he can still do. Of what he might have continued doing had you not realized it. âIt curls up around your throat, that fear. Pressing against your windpipe. You almost struggle to breathe.â You remain there, arms fastened around him as he slows down, pulling the brakes just before your house, even when he finally stops.
JJ leans back into you, breathing deep, clutching your hand to his chest, his body completely relaxed against yours. Youâre still wondering. Mind still running.
How long had he followed you for?
Had he been trailing you? Close behind, just out of reach, or had he stared at your location, waiting, watching you without seeing you?
You donât know which is worse.
â John Bâs with Sarah tonight. â JJ mumbles, his head thrown back against your shoulder, the ends of his hair tickling your face. â I saw him sneak out. Heâs probably gonna sleep there. â You hum, not really sure of what to say. â Pope and Kie are gone too. â His thumb brushes over the back of your hand slowly, his voice growing deeper, lower. â Itâs just the two of us now.
You donât say anything.
You donât know what to say.
JJ looks back as you throw your leg over the other side of the bike, and climb down. He still clings to your hand like heâs got you on a leash: you have to remain there as he pulls the key from the ignition, as he sets his things in the top-box, as he leans back against the seat, pulling you in for a kiss.
You meet his mouth briefly, close-lipped, his fingers interlocking with yours as he pulls you in for another, and another, and one more. â I missed this. â He whispers, eyes barely open, already leaning in again.
â Itâs been two days. â You remind him, but JJ only laughs.
â Two too many.
You donât resist when he pulls you closer. His hands find your hips, sliding beneath the waistband of your jeans, calloused fingers pressing into the small of your back like heâs trying to mold you against him. He kisses you againâdeeper, messier, his breath warm and tinged with something desperate.
JJ doesnât just want this. He needs it.
That's what you like about him. He takes like he canât get enough. He begs, and he grasps and he clings and he needs you like he needs air to breathe.
His hands are restless, traveling up your ribs, down your waist, over your thighs, like heâs trying to make up for lost time, like touching you might steady him, might ground him. But it doesnât. The more he touches you, the more insatiable he gets. Heâs humming against your lips, sighing into your touch, a little frantic, a little unsteady.
You pull him inside, but JJ canât seem to break the kiss. He takes your hands to the hem of his shirt, tugging impatiently, his lips dragging from your mouth to your jaw to your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your skin between whispered pleas.
â Touch me, â he breathes, his voice cracking like the weight of everything is still right there, lingering beneath the surface.
Your fingers slip into his hair, threading through the strands, and JJ shudders. He melts against you, knees almost buckling as he exhales a sharp, shaky breath.
â Fuck, â he mumbles, almost laughing, giddy and drunk on your touch. Heâs clinging to you now, pressing his body into yours, murmuring against your lips, deeper, please, until you give in, kissing him the way he wants. The way he needs.
He moans softly, hands gripping your waist, pushing your top up just to feel your skin against his palms. Heâs lost in this, lost in you, smiling against your mouth in that dazed, breathless way, like nothing else exists beyond the way your body fits against his.
Like everything is fine.
Even it isnât, not really.
You lead him to your room, kicking the door behind you as he falls back on the bed, tearing his shirt off of him as if it were burning. He doesnât even give you the time to think before heâs pulling you on top of him.
You try to guide him through the motions, letting his hands explore, letting him pull you closer, letting him bury his face in your neck, all while your mind is somewhere else. Detached. Floating.
Because underneath it allâbeneath the heat of his mouth and the weight of his body and the way he pleads for you like youâre the only thing keeping him from falling apartâthereâs that feeling.
That cold, creeping thing at the back of your mind.
That fear.
It wraps around your throat, pressing tight, squeezing, reminding you of what he did. Of how long he must have followed you, watching, waiting, just out of reach.
Of how much worse it couldâve been if you hadnât noticed.
JJ doesnât see it. He doesnât feel it. He only sees you, only feels your hands, your lips, the comfort heâs so desperate to take from you.
â I missed this, â he murmurs again, voice slurring slightly, hands still moving, still searching. â Fuck, baby I missed this so much.
You swallow hard, exhaling slowly, before finally answering.
â I know.
And you let him keep touching you, let him revel in this, let him have this, because maybe if he does, heâll calm down. Maybe if he does, youâll feel safe again.
JJ exhales against your skin, his body completely unwound, pliant beneath your hands. â Take it off. â He groans, hands shaking against his breeches. â Take it off of me, baby. Please. I just want you to be on me. I need it. Please.
You donât need to be told twice.
He watches, almost breathless while you strip him bare, moaning at every touch, hips bucking every time you brush against him.
That doesnât last long though.
It isnât enough that just your hands are on him. So he drags you onto his dick, still clothed, and he grinds himself into you, eyes rolling back.
Thereâs something raw about the way he touches youâlike heâs savoring every inch, like heâll be going through withdrawal unless he doesnât hold on tight enough. His fingers dig into your sides as he pulls your hips into his, his laugh breathy, almost delirious.
â God, I fucking love this, â he mutters against your shoulder, his hands slipping beneath your top, his thumbs brushing lazy circles over your skin.
This.
Not youâthis.
The warmth. The closeness. The way you let him touch you, take what he needs. â You love this too, right baby? Your hipsâ He moans, head thrown back when you roll your hips against his cock, the fabric of your jeans giving just the friction he needs to work himself up. â You're so fucking good at this.
You squeeze your eyes shut as he kisses up your throat, his lips tracing familiar paths, his breath hot and unsteady. He hums when you card your fingers through his hair again, pressing into your touch like heâs melting from the inside out.
He's getting wilder, humping you with this reckless abandon he never seems to shake off. But you can see him unraveling. Just the friction isn't scratching the itch.
He needs more.
â Take it off, baby. Please. Please. â he sighs, voice catching, eyes blown out. â Fuck, give it to me. Just ride me.
You hesitate. Your fingers still against the nape of his neck. The sounds he makes, strangled, anguished. Like heâs going mad.
You actually hear him whine when you lift your hips, and his hand flies down to palm himself while he watches you pull the jeans down.
He tilts his head up, catching your mouth again, dragging you deeper into him. His hands slide down, gripping the backs of your thighs, pulling you closer until he's practically in you.
But you donât let him sink in just yet.
It's more fun when you drag it out.
When you move against him, teasing him, watching him twitch and moan and plead with nothing but the wetness, the softness, the warmth.
Thereâs a slow, creeping sickness curling in your stomach.
Because youâre leading this. Because you know what he needs, and youâre not quite giving it to him. Because youâre letting him press closer, letting him unravel, letting him forgetâfor just a little whileâthat anything is wrong at all.
And a part of you wants to forget too.
It feels good.
It doesnât matter what he did, what he would do, because he needs you. He canât get enough of you. He won't leave.
â Please. Please. â He repeats it like a mantra, writhing beneath you, clutching you so fucking tight. His hips go rogue, bucking wildly. â Please let me fuck you. I need to fuck you. Please. Fuck, I can't take this anymore!
The laughter that falls from your lips almost seems to stoke the flames.
He groans out loud when tip pushes into you, and for a second, his entire body just collapses against yours, heavy, needy.
Then his hands slip under your bra again, tugging at the fabric, his breath hot and desperate against your skin.
â Let me see you, â he murmurs, voice thick, rough. â G-Go ahead, baby. I need you to move. Please.
You pull back slightly, meeting his gaze. His pupils are blown wide, his lips kiss-swollen, his expression open in a way that makes you ache.
JJ wants you. That much is obvious.
But more than thatâhe wants to disappear into you.
To sink into your warmth, your touch, your body, and let it drown out whateverâs eating him alive from the inside.
Your stomach twists.
His fingers have long stopped tracing slow patterns against your ribs, now he's bruising you, nails digging in, shaking, waiting. Pleading.
You could give him what he wants. It would be easy. So, so easy.
But for the first time since this started, you wonder if you should. â And who said you deserve that, JJ?
â Huh?
â Because with the way you talked to me before, I donât think you do. â You move, just slightly, and he folds, back arching. â I think youâre gonna have to convince me.
â Please. Baby, please.
â You think I'm pathetic. â You tsk, your hips rolling so slow his eyes flutter when they roll back. â I'm not the one whoâs begging, though.
â Please! â He's screaming now, and youâre moving faster. The bed creaking beneath you. â I need it! Faster, baby. Faster!
He's splayed out, a puppet with the strings cut loose, yet he's anything but relaxed. You can feel him tensing, hands fisting the sheets so tight his knuckles have gone white.
He screams.
Almost yelping when you start going at the pace you know he likes. And it still isn't enough. He still grabs your hips, pulling you closer, and closer, again and again, banging against that soft spot within you like it's the only thing that can relieve him from this torture.
And you let him.
You ride him like a bronco, as if heâs trying to fuck you off instead of closer. As if he isn't begging for it. Screaming for it. â MORE, BABY, PLEASE!
You want more too.
At some point you lost yourself in trying to punish him, and it started to feel good. You're biting him, teeth dragging against the skin at the crook of his neck, the spot that always makes him shudder, that always makes him writhe.
Your nails have mapped half his body over.
He's red. âHis face, his eyes, his lips, his scratches.â Heâs gasping. Shaking. His whole body trembling, his eyes rolling back. You canât even make sense of what he's saying anymore.
The only thing that leaves his mouth are these incoherent pleas, these oohs and aahs that make you laugh, humming to yourself as you ride into your orgasm, feeling him fall apart.
â F-uck, fuck! Donât stop! Feels so fucking good baby, so fucking good! â He pushes it in faster, but it's still not enough. He needs more, he was going mad! Grabs you by the waist, tosses you on the bed, rutting like a wild dog, head thrown back, eyes rolling upwards. â Fuck! Fuck! Feel s-feel so fucking good!
All that was heard was your laughter, the pleased little gasps that escape your mouth as he fills you up over and over and over again, animalistic and heaving, laughing as well, but out of his mind, completely overwhelmed by the pleasure, by the building release. He crashes against you, once, twice, getting careless. But by then he couldnât hold it in. More! More! is all you heard from him.
And then you felt it.
His body shudders all over again, still rutting like his life would end. â God. God! I need to cumâ fuck! I needâ I needâ Keep going! Donât fucking stop baby, donâ FUCK! FUCK!
You felt him coat your walls, white, hot, and endless. By then, you were shaking as well, the waves of your own climax washing over you as you arch against him.
He collapses over you, trembling and crying as he smiles, moaning your name in that shaky, adoring voice, eyes clinging to you in utter joy as he pumped lazily, through your climax and his, he still needed more of you. â It won-wonât stop. Fuck, thereâs so m-much of it. â Laughter. Yours, his.
Your mind is blank.
He's heavy, heaving, still inside you.
JJ's breathing is ragged, each exhale a shaky whisper as he remains, still there, still trembling with the aftershocks. His hands wander aimlessly across the sheets, his body warm and heavy, as though he's been consumed entirely. His eyes are half-lidded, unfocused, and a soft whimper escapes him as he reaches for your hand.
â Baby... can you...? â His voice is slurred, broken, as if heâs still caught between the pleasure and the exhaustion of it all. His hand gently tugs at your wrist, his fingers brushing against your skin. â Just... touch me. Please... softly.
There was that, too.
He was always sweeter when he was done.
You give a soft, reassuring smile, your fingers gently grazing his messy hair, pushing the strands out of his face, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, lingering for a moment before you speak in the same soft, soothing tone. â Iâm here, JJ. I got you.
He hums in response, his eyes fluttering closed, a content sigh escaping his lips as you run your fingers through his hair, the action slow and comforting. â Iâm... Fuckâ Laughter buzzes against your skin as he presses his lips on you again. â I'm never getting used to this... Iâm not used to this, â he mumbles between shaky breaths, his hand coming to rest on your arm, the weight of his touch grounding him. â Feels... too good. I need you to... keep me close. Just... just a little longer.
You hate the way your heart skips.
But you love the way he says it.
The way his voice brushes against your skin when he pleads, so softly, so sweetly. Like he could never do you harm.
You shift slightly, pulling him into your chest, the warmth of his body a constant reassurance. His hand rests over your heart, the frantic pace of his pulse now slowing, but his face is still pinched with that lingering tension, a mix of exhaustion and need for reassurance. He lets out a soft groan as you press your lips to his temple, whispering, â Iâm right here. Youâre okay.
His breath evens out, and as the minutes pass, you keep stroking his hair and kissing his head, each kiss lighter than the last, until his body relaxes fully, his grip on you loosens. â Love you.
You feel yourself tense up.
Itâs not the first time he says it.
But it might be the first time you know he doesnât mean it.
Still you smile down at him anyway, pressing another gentle kiss to his forehead before whispering back, â Sure you do, baby. Go to sleep, okay?
He doesnât need much encouragement.
JJ's never been easy to tire out, but when he does, it's immediate. His ear is pressed to your chest, to your heart, and you wonder what kind of dreams heâll be having with that soundtrack, but it doesn't take long for his breath to even out.
The house is quiet.
Completely so.
And though you're glad John wasn't there to hear it, laying there, without his snoring to lull you into even halfway into reality only means that it crashes against you like a bucket of cold water a soon as JJ is out.
The day dawns on you, as it has done several times, but still the loathing blooms in your chest and spreads through your body faster than your mind can process.
You're broke.
You're jobless.
The girl you thought was your best friend is a snake.
The boy that's sleeping on you is a stalker.
Your best prospect right now is famously the most spoiled and volatile person on the island. That, because your best friend, the person that could actually get you out of this, has faded away after abandoning you, and you have no idea if heâll even come back.
What's funny is that this is the thought that hurts you most âNot that you're unemployed, that your now previous boss could ruin you forever, that your relationship with only family member is as unstable as your financial situation, or that the people you thought you could trust donât care about youâ that Barry is gone.
Something he has been plenty of times before.
You lie there in the stillness, the weight of JJ's body pressing against yours. The sheets feel too warm, too much, a world you canât find a way into. JJâs steady breathing is a lullaby of sorts, pulling you toward the edge of exhaustion, but itâs not enough to quiet the thoughts tumbling relentlessly in your head.
Barry's absence gnaws at you âYou know heâs not gone forever, not really. Or at least you hope so. Heâs done this before, pulled away just long enough for you to convince yourself it doesnât matter. And yet, it hurts like it does. Like itâs different this time.
You turn your head to glance at himâJJ, still sleeping soundly, unaware. His face is soft, the usual edge to his features dulled by exhaustion, but even now, with him so vulnerable in your arms, you feel the invisible distance between you grow. Heâs a comfort, but only in the way a warm blanket can make you feel safe when the storm is too loud. And it is too loud. So loud you can barely breathe through it.
Your fingers trace patterns along his skin, but itâs absent, mechanicalâthe world outside the room, the boy in your arms, the life thatâs slipping from your fingers, and the ghost that wonât stop haunting you, and you don't even know why.
Barry.
You know, deep down, that itâs not about him being gone. Itâs about the fact that, despite what JJ has just tried to convince you of, Barry actually is the one person that was there for you.
When your father went away, he celebrated with you. When he was declared missing, he comforted you, even if you said you didn't care. Even if you didn't even know you needed it.
And maybe that's the problem: He saw you better than you saw yourself. He knows you. Really knows you.
But does he now?
So much has changed in two days.
You canât even tell yourself it was real anymore because everything you thought you knew about him, about you, is shiftingâbecoming something else you canât identify.
Thereâs no way to put a name to it, though, is there? That dull ache youâve learned to live with. Not quite loneliness, but not contentment, either. Just an empty space where hope used to live, and you're so used to it now that you donât know what it would feel like to fill it.
You let your gaze fall to JJ again, watching the way his back rises and falls with the easy rhythm of sleep. Maybe this is itâthis is what you have now. A boy who doesnât even know what heâs asking for when he whispers his need into the quiet night. And you, too tired to push him away, too lost to turn to anything else. You can almost convince yourself itâs enough, and for a second, you do.
But then, Barryâs face flickers in your mind again, like a ghost.
You wonder, just for a moment, if you wouldâve been able to say anything if he were here. If you wouldâve told him how much you needed him to help you, how much you needed him to be here, not just physically, but with you in the way that only he ever did.
But heâs not here.
And youâre not sure when he will be again.
The buzz of your phone slices through the silence. You freeze. What's the likelihood that he would call you right then, when you needed him most?
You slide from under JJ, and he grumbles, hands reaching for you even deep into sleep, but you donât see it. All you see is the unknown number flashing on your screen amidst the darkness, and your heart races as you bring the phone to your ear. â Bee? â The word falls from your lips almost fearfully. You donât want to know where he's been, what he's doing, or how much of what he had to take to call you like this, in the middle of the night. But youâre impatient to hear his voice, you just want to know if he's okay. â Bee, is that you?
The line scratches softly, the familiar sound of skin whispering against the microphone echoing in-between the two phones. Your pulse thrums against your ear. â Not bee. â You finally hear. â Are, actually.
â âAreâ? Barry, what are you talking about? What did you take?
â Itâs not Barry, baby. â The edge of his words resounded even through the distance. Pleased, but not quite satisfied. â Itâs Rafe.
You let go of a breath you didnât even realize you were holding.
â Oh, âRâ. Okay I got it.
He chuckles, a long, breathy noise. His breathing is heavy. â Did you put the cry-baby to sleep or is he still up whining?
JJ turns in his sleep. His arm, still lying, lax, over your lap shifts, and he pulls himself closer, brow brushing against your thigh. â JJ is⊠gone.
â Good. Thought I was gonna have to call CPS or some shit. â He scoffs, turning, in bed, you gather, since you hear the squeak of furniture.
â How considerate.
â Well, baby, I'm nothing if not considerate. â He hums. â What are you doing awake?
Regretting your life decisions, pondering the benefits of suicide. â Thinking of you. â It was meant to be a joke, but it didnât sound like one as it slipped from your lips.
There's half a second of silence from him before you hear that laugh again, like you shocked him.
Rafe Cameron was shocked.
That's definitely a headline.
You can almost hear the smirk on his face. â I was thinking about you too, baby. What are you wearing?
You scoff, almost rolling your eyes. â Rafe.
He laughs again, even breathier. â Sorry. Was that too soon? â His bed creaks again. â You donât seem like the kind of girl who needs a lot of foreplay.
â Hilarious.
â I was really hoping you'd give me a taste of what youâre wearing tomorrow, though.
You look down almost unconsciously. The only thing covering your skin is sweat. â Definitely not what I'm wearing right now. Unless you're hiring for a job other than personal chef.
Rafeâs quiet again. He moves around. You can hear him breathing. â Maybe I am. What kind of job are you thinking?
â Well, arenât you the little hiring agency? Should've met you before. Thereâs some things on my resume I'm definitely not proud of. â He laughs with you now, though there's something strange in his tone. â Did you talk to your governess, or that other guy you said you didn't know the name of?
â Did. We'll be waiting for you.
â Well, you call and I come. â He laughs at the double-entendre, another noise escaping his lips. â What time should I be there?
â How's 10 AM sound?
â Perfect, Rafe. Thank you. Again, really. I canât thank you enough.
â You're welcome, baby. You really are. â He groans, the bed creaking. JJ moves around again, his head on your lap, hands around your knees, and he mumbles something unintelligible. â What was that?
â Sorry, uhm. Just⊠thinking out loud.
You swallow, but Rafe doesnât miss a beat. â And what are you thinking about?
â About⊠What I'm gonna wear. â Improvising was never really your forte.
Rafe hums, a long stretch of the M, then something smaller, a sound you can't quite catch. â That skirt. â He sighs. â The blue pleated one.
You pause.
â What?
â It's pretty. â Is all he says, then a groan, or a purr. The phone falls on his pillow, you can hear it scratch against his skin as he moves. But the way he says it, as if heâs seen it a thousand times in the two days you've known each other, as if he can picture you wearing it right in front of him. â Fuck, baby. Youâre so pretty.
The compliment grates at your ears.
How does he know your clothes?
You think of the skirt. Your blue pleated skirt. It's been ages since you've worn it. It's way too short. Youâve outgrown it a while ago. â What else, baby?
â Hm?
â What else are you wearing for me?
His bed creaks again, over and over, and he doesnât say anything for a minute, he just sighs.
â I, uhm. I donât know. â What even is this conversation?
â Far as I'm concerned you don't need to wear anything. You can comeâ He laughs, low and unsteady, a strangled âyeahâ cutting through the word. â Come as you are.
You feel a trickle of repulse run down your back. You donât wanna talk to him anymore. You donât want to talk at all.
â Talk to me, baby. â He groans, again.
â I, uhm. â You kick the nightstand, the noise echoing loudly around your room. â Shit, uhm. Sorry, that's my brother. I'll see you tomorrow.
You kill the line before he can say anything else.
@chatgtfo @bitterdotcom @sassyvillaintrophy @xmayankax @bluethperson @coralblue35 @munsoncultedits @the-bitch-who-binges @im-julessssss
#obx#outer banks#outer banks fanfiction#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x pogue!reader#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank x you#jj maybank smut#jj maybank angst#jj obx#jj outer banks#outer banks jj#dark!jj maybank x reader#dark!rafe cameron x reader#dark!rafe cameron#dark!jj maybank
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Hiii ik youâve heard this before but you literally write the yummiest Artrick smut!! Their dynamic is sooo good
I was thinking about Art and Patrick trying frotting for the first time? Maybe theyâre dry humping and then Artâs really getting desperate and Pat suggests they do it skin-to-skin? Penny for your thoughts!!
I thank you anon! I love you and I apologize for getting to this so late <33
CW: 18+, NSFW, Patrick my little pining baby.
â-
I think itâs Patrickâs birthday some random Thursday night in January and Patrick makes Art come out with him on the day because heâs gonna celebrate with Tashi on the weekend. Artâs in a bad mood at first. He tries to pretend he isnât but Patrick knows heâs still annoyed that Patrick has her.
âI canât stay out late.â Art says coolly. âSo if you want a real celebration with me⊠maybe you shoulda went out to eat with her midweek instead.â
âYou want to come out to eat with us this weekend?â Patrick smirks, rubbing his back. âJust a romantic dinner. Me, my girlfriend and my best friend. Probably the most romantic thing ever.â
âFuck off,â Art shrugs him away. Theyâre going to a frat party. Art knows one of the frats has insane parties every night of the week which Patrick says is pretty impressive.
âOnly reason to join that frat is if you plan to take at least five or six years to graduate from a four year program.â Art says, judgmentally. âActually, itâs probably what youâd pledge if you went here.â
Patrick lets him be bitchy and goes to get them both drinks. As Art gets tipsy he starts to loosen up. Heâs getting drunk on Jell-O shots. His lips turning red and his cheeks flushing. His eyes go all moon shaped when heâs giggly. Patrick is a little obsessed, wants to make him giggle more. They get drunk enough to dance. Both of them dancing together and then dancing with various college girls. Patrick avoiding it when one of the girls leans in to kiss him. She kisses Art instead before her friend grabs her. They both giggle with each other and run to get more shots.
Artâs looking after them dazed and so drunk⊠Patrick grabs him away. They go to the dj table and request Apple Bottom Jeans for the third time and everyone cheers when it comes back on.
Itâs dark and loud, strobe lights going off and Patrick realizes how drunk Art is when theyâre on the sofa and heâs leaning on Patrick, nibbling at his throat. Patrick feels warm, hot even, he tangles his fingers into Artâs golden curls to keep him there. âI wanna lie down,â Art sighs in his ear after a minute. Which leads to Patrick guiding him upstairs in the frat house, the bass from the music thrumming through the house even though itâs much quieter upstairs. Thereâs a couple making out in the hallway. Some girls hooking up in the the bathroom tub while another girl is dozing off on the toilet seat.
Patrick finds an empty room and Art falls onto the bed. Patrick shuts the door and crawls on the bed, lying down next to him and before he realizes whatâs happening Art climbs on top of him. ââM so horny,â he groans, eyes half closed, dizzy drunk and barely aware of what heâs doing. Patrick is immediately hard. He thought he knew everything about Art but this is fucking new. Art is humping him through the fabric of their jeans, grinding, rutting, like a fucking animal in heat. Breathing hard, moaning loudly, chasing his orgasm. Itâs so fucking hot.
âOh fuck,â Patrick breathes. âHoly shit.â
âMm wanna come Patrick, please. I need it.â Art whines.
âFuck, mmkay. Come here⊠maybe we need⊠need more friction.â
âmm, yeah, please,â Art gasps.
âYeah? LetâsâŠâ Patrick grabs at Artâs zipper, swallowing hard. Heâs had weird dreams about fucking Art for quite some time, weird wet dreams where heâs made a mess of him. So many dirty dreams this feels like deja vu.
But this is better than the dreams. Best fucking birthday ever. Heâs easing it out of Artâs boxers. Heâs seen it of course. When he didnât need anything in his head to make himself cum⊠just the sight of the messy blond boy on the bed across from him spilling it too quickly all over himself. Always dazed by it. It was enough to send Patrick into the stratosphere, every fucking time.
And now heâs touching it, gripping it. Swollen purplepink, and heavy. He undoes his own pants. Artâs thrusting into his fist, eager. Hips rolling.
âSkin to skin, gonna feel so good,â Patrick mumbles, itâs nonsense. Heâs half out of his mind. He takes hold of his own cock, lined up along Artâs and starts fisting them both. Art on top of him, the only sound is the endless thumping of the music, the squeaking of the bed inline with their hips rocking, and the breathy moans spilling from their mouths.
âOh fuck. Oh yes,â Art whispers. He has his eyes closed but Patrick canât stop staring at him. Lips parted, chest heaving, face flushed, hair falling into his eyes, clothes all disheveled. Heâs leaning back, palms resting on Patrickâs thighs so he can thrust his cock mindlessly up against Patrickâs. So hot Patrick might die. And then, as always, itâs taking him by surprise. Come spurting out of him, covering Patrickâs fingers, his t-shirt. Heâs whining and moaning and gasping âFuck⊠oh fuckâŠyesâŠâ
Patrickâs not far behind him. His fist now coated in jizz heâs gripping them both tighter, fisting them faster. Artâs making these breathless little âohâ noises, so delicious it makes Patrick shiver and then heâs seizing up, his balls tightening as he spills hot sticky strings of pearly come all over his palm, Artâs jeans and his own t-shirt.
âGod itâs so fucking hot, youâre so fucking hotâŠ.â Patrick whispers, breathlessly as Art settles sleepy onto his chest. Patrick wipes his dirty palm on the bed and ponders vaguely the poor frat boy whoâs gonna be taking this blanket to the laundromat. He kisses Artâs mouth, the way heâs always wanted to, and Art sighs into it. Heâs got the hiccups all of a sudden, little ones escaping between kisses which is actually kinda fucking adorable. Art rolls off of him eventually, curling up on his side. âNeed toâŠ*hiccup*⊠so sleepy.â He mumbles.
Patrick sighs, looking up at the ceiling as Art starts to drift off. Theyâve been drunk as fuck before, even spooned in bed together, but never like this. Heâs not sure what just happened but he thinks heâll go crazy if Art has no memory of it when he wakes up.
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ashes â day 116
jack had gotten a bad hit.
sure, tackles and hits are just a part of hockey â but this one was worse than usual.
he wasn't even sure how he got himself into the situation, but during his game against the bruins, his head had been bent down far too much when he had tried to shoot off a pass along the barrier. when an opponent went in for the tackle, jack's head hit the boards in a nasty angle, and everything had gone black instantly.
the directions from the team doctors were clear: he needed to stay in a dark room, with no lights or loud sounds. he wasn't allowed to use his brain too much, since that would only worsen the concussion. no phone, no stepping outside the bedroom for at least three whole days.
thankfully, your apartment was the perfect place to keep someone who'd just gotten a concussion; the blackout curtains of your bedrooms were of the best brand, keeping the room perfectly dark during all hours of the day. that's why jack now found himself lying flat on his back on your bed, with his arms relaxing restlessly along his body, just as he had for the last 48 hours or so.
this wasn't the first time jack got a concussion. even back when he was a young player, he was too intense, too focused and too stubborn that he didn't care about the risk of injury when doing certain things on the ice, meaning that he had been forced to go through the boring process of recovering from head trauma several times. he recognized the feeling, and he hated it just as much as he had when he was still a teenager, when he was forced to stay inside while his brothers and friends could still practice. he wanted to do something, anything, but the pounding in his head limited his actions to pretty much none.
he felt helpless.
but even through the pain, there was one thing that made him smile.
you.
he was so thankful that you were there for him. he slept for most of his days, not having enough energy to stay awake for longer periods of time. but every time he woke up, you were there; reading him a book, telling him a story from your childhood, catching him up on the recent news. he was so thankful, because he thought he would have gone insane if he had to endure this all on his own.
"jack?" you asked from your side of the bed, voice hushed as it had been for the last two days. there was a small hum of an answer. "don't you want anything to eat? it's beenâŠ" you squinted, trying to make out the time from the clock on your wall. "seven hours since you had breakfast."
jack stayed silent, taking a few deep breaths before opening his eyes. "yeah, i think so."
your little nightlight, a lamp in the form of a fox in a far corner of the room, was the only source of light. jack could still make out your face clearly, probably due to the last two days of practicing his night vision. the concern on your face translated to worry on his, and then it was all just a downward spiral. you hated seeing him like this. jack was usually so energetic, so happy, so⊠tireless. seeing him like this really hurt you â and suddenly, you were back in your old mindset again. the pain and the worry and the anxiety all boiled up into one big soup of guilt. for the way you've treated him, for the way you care for him, for everything that has happened these last months. you stood up from the bed, about to make your way to the kitchen to cook something for him, but you stopped at him calling out your name in that raspy voice of his. "i'm sorry." when you looked back at him with a confused look, he spoke again. "for last week, for-"
"jack, it's okay." you shook your head at him, putting on a small smile. you didn't want him to worry about this now, not when his head was already overworked. "really."
now it was his time to shake his head â or, as much of a shake he could handle without his brain exploding from the jolt of pain shooting through it whenever he moved even an inch â and his voice was firmer when he spoke again. "no, please don't interrupt me now. i want you to hear that i'm serious about how sorry i am."
your heart fluttered like never before. not once until today had a man spoken to you like this. like you were someone worth apologizing to, someone worth fighting for.
"i am so sorry about pushing and pressuring you. i never should have." he took a deep breath. "you have your reasons not to trust me and not let me in, i understand that. however," his hand reached for your side, wanting you closer. "i also hope that in time, things might change. and i hope to stick along to find out if they do, without pressuring you, no matter how long it takes."
at this point, you wanted to throw yourself into his arms, bury him in kisses and hug the life out of him. but with the memory of his concussion still in your mind, you settled for leaning down to his height and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips for the first time in weeks.
maybe things would be okay, after all.
#jack goal and devs win <3 happy day#jack hughes#nhl#hockey#nhl fluff#nhl smut#nhl x reader#nhl x you#nhl x y/n#nhl fic#nhl imagine#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes fluff#jack hughes smut#jack hughes fic#jack hughes imagine#new jersey devils#jack hughes suggestive
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New to your blog and I'm curious and think this will probably be a good ask for you to cook on for a while: Sell me on Naddpod?
well first of all welcome! as much as i walk like a d20 blog and talk like a d20 blog i am in fact a naddpod blog a lot of the time so. look out. (everyone)
this is gonna get long.
now, to the task at hand.
naddpod.
imagine if you will that four improvisers/comedians who are very good friends combine their powers to tell stories that they want to completely sit in while also having the ultimate goal of making each other laugh.
naddpod is first and foremost a comedy podcast, thereâs a reason dragon pussy comes up four and a half minutes in, thereâs a reason âcumpatriotsâ being said in todayâs episode left me completely unfazed. they want it to be silly. they enjoy it being silly.
but god do they also just simply care.
they care about their characters, they care about each otherâs characters. they create a world together where when the dm (murph, most often) gives them a shocking twist, you can hear them waiting with bated breath, the same as you, for what will come next.
there are also so many deeply devastating emotional moments. âyou ruined my night, brian.â is said in the show and oft repeated by the fans for a goddamn reason. you feel for the characters when bad things happen. you canât wait to see them resolved. and they donât feel cheap when they happen. youâre having a great time even as they have terrible times.
the worlds feel lived in. you also feel like you can see the worlds be created as you listen. itâs just so fun. there are several episodes where if i listen to them during a shit day i feel so much better.
sometimes, itâs deeply stupid. and itâs very fun. god are some bits insane. (shoutout to dip spit). but itâs just a good time.
theyâre also incredible writers. the stories the dms are trying to tell come from this pure place of loving what theyâre doing and being very good at it.
murphâs encounters are also some of the best in the game. even when theyâre similar they donât feel tired. he creates pictures you can see so vividly without having any visual aids. he keeps the stakes high even though he clearly wants his players to win. and theyâre so endlessly creative. (c3 def has some of the best encounters due to his experience at that point but donât discount some of the mighty c1 and c2 ones either)
in conclusion, listen to naddpod. please. youâll have a great time. if you donât enjoy the dragon pussy of it all, you might not love it, but if you enjoy it or can power through it, youâll have fun.
and now. a quick rundown of like the general conceit of each (completed) campaign off the top of my head. in case youâre curious about where to start. (you can start at the beginning of any of these, in any order) and fuck it. iâm including a spotify link to every ep 1. iâm also def gonna do a bad job so. grain of salt etc etc.
bahumia (campaign 1): three legendary heroes saved the world three years ago, cumulating in their killing the devil. but then they vanished. and things have gone bad. so our adventurers attempt to figure out what happened. and how they can fix it. (100 episodes, dmâd by murph) (x)
trinyvale: sci-fi. three roommates work for a corporation on mini retrieval missions that eventually all come together to point toward one large mystery: what happened to the gods and how does it impact the world? (22 episodes, plus a few one-shots or mini arcs, dmâd by caldwell) (x)
the mavrus chronicles: five lads who are each otherâs boys go on a beach vacation and one gets lost. they have to find out what happened, and find their friend, even if it means trekking across the water into the mysterious fog (7 episodes, dmâd by emily, ft. zac oyamaâs guest pc from bahumia) [also has a sequel campaign, blazing babe, where they go to a burning man-esque festival and try to figure out whoâs trying to ruin it. you canât listen to that on its own. it has 4 episodes](x)
eldermourne (campaign 2): a dark fairy tale setting where those devoted to the gods continue to hold their alleged promises over peopleâs heads without quite explaining what it really means. and a secret order has left behind our heroes, who have no choice but to try to track them and what theyâre working toward down. (41 episodes, dmâd by murph) (x) (also has a session 0)
ba2mia (campaign 3): we return to the world of campaign one, 200 years later. things have changed in the world a lot in the time in between, and itâs a much more cyber-punky place now. our heroes work for a megacorp attempting to dig itself into every major city in the world. they do their best to outrun that. and its ripples. (72 episodes, dmâd by murph) (x) (session 0ish)
twilight sanctorum: the family business is as detectives. and the business is slow. in a noir setting, a father/grandfather, son/father, and grandson/son work together to solve one single mystery: who is threatening the featured performer at the townâs most famous theater. (4 episodes. dmâd by emily) (x)
the episodes i shared will give a better early description than i did, certainly. bc they thought about them more.
anyway. long answer over. hope this helps. maybe. idk it ran away from me a little bit.
thanks for the ask!!
#yeah fuck it iâll maintag this one#naddpod#asks#valerico#iâm sorry this is so long#i edited this to add more lol sorry
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(This request is based on Gumball's) So, my request, that BL boys were on a date, then they met one player that is quite sore loser and holding a grudge against them, so he starts to flirt with their S/O just to annoy them, at some point that player asks: What is woman like you is doing with man like him anyway? To which S/O answers by shushing him and whispering: "shh, I don't think he knows he can do better."
Boys: Kaiser, Bachira, Reo, Nagi, Isagi, Barou, Kunigami, Sae, Rin, Ness, Chigiri, Hiori
ty for the request!! đ€đ€ i hope you enjoy :)
when someone flirts with you to annoy him ;
bf blue lock x fem!reader
michael kaiser
-> you were at a nice restaurant with kaiser to celebrate the bastardâs win when someone on the opposing team happened to see you through the window
-> upset from losing his match, the player decided he was going to be an asshole and ruin kaiserâs night with you
-> âkaiser, my friend!â you watched your boyfriend tense at the voice and turned to see someone giving you a gross look-over. âsorry! are you on a date with this lovely lady?â
-> you rolled your eyes but he didnât let up. âsay, whatâs a woman like you doing with a man like this?â
-> before kaiser has the chance to intervene, you grab the guyâs shoulder and pull him down so that your lips hover close to his ear. âshh, donât blow this for me. i donât think he knows he can do better.â
bachira meguru
-> you were out celebrating team blue lockâs win against japanâs u20 with your boyfriend when you ran into one of the u20 players
-> âoh, hey! itâs the guy with twinkle toes!â you glare at the way he said the nickname as an insult, but bachira laughs it off. âyep, thatâs me! it was super fun passing you guys; we should play again!â
-> he wasnât amused and turned his sights onto you, since bachira obviously wasnât fazed. âwhat about you? whyâs a girl like you going out with a loon like this?â
-> offended on his behalf, you step forward and keep your voice low so bachira canât hear. âthat âloonâ is the greatest person iâve ever met. he doesnât know he can do better, so leave us alone.â
-> though you kept your voice down, bachira overhears what you tell the guy to get him to leave. his hand settles on your waist once heâs gone, pulling you into a hug that surprises you
-> âmegââ âdonât say that. donât say i can do better. i only want you, okay?â
mikage reo
-> âwoah, youâre hot!â someone calls behind you. you and reo were getting something to eat after his team won, and you werenât expecting to run into one of his butthurt opponents. âexcuse me?â
-> reo tucked a hand into your back pocket, pulling you closer to calm you down
-> it didnât work. especially not when the guy called out, âcome on, sweetheart. why are you wasting your time with a man like him?â
-> you step out of repâs grasp and glare at the flirty opponent. âlook. he hasnât realized he can do better yet, so can you please, kindly, fuck off?â
-> he does, indeed, fuck off. pleased, you return to reoâs side and slip his hand back into your pocket
nagi seishiro
-> you managed to convince nagi to hang out with you after his win (despite his desire to lay in bed with you playing video games)
-> you were circling back to the dorms when someone shouted at nagi from across the street. âno way! youâre the guy who took that insanely cheap shot!â nagi looks around, wondering who the guy thinks heâs talking to
-> but the opponent is already crossing to your side of the road. âoh, on a date? whatâs a girl like you doing with someone like this?â
-> nagi, bored, wraps a loose hand around your hip and starts to pull you away, but you step away from him and walk to the guy. âsays the guy who didnât touch the ball once. he doesnât know he can do better, so leave us alone, would you?â
-> the guy leaves with a shrug and you return to your boyfriendâs side. âwhat did you tell him?â âoh, just to leave us alone.â â⊠okay.â and he gives you a little kiss on the head
isagi yoichi
-> âhey! itâs the guy who screwed all our plays!â someone announces, interrupting your post-game win date with your boyfriend
-> you both roll your eyes, but isagi is the first to speak. âmaybe if you played the game like youâre supposed to, i wouldnât have had the chance.â
-> that riles the player up, because he leans over your shoulder and gestures between you and isagi with his finger. âyou with this guy? whatâs a stunner like you doing with someone who has such terrible manners?â
-> you give him a very sweet smile and tease, âoh, him? he gets it from me, you filthy fucker :) now if youâll excuse us, weâre on a date, and he hasnât realized he can do better, yet.â
barou shouei
-> you were laughing with barou, teasing him for wiping your table with sanitizing wipes (that he brought from home) when you were approached by someone you faintly recognized as a player your boyfriend just beat
-> internally groaning, you ignore the way barou glares daggers at the guy and force a smile onto your face. âcan we help you?â
-> âhm? oh, sorry! are you two togerher?â âclearly,â barou grumbles. the guy seems amused. âreally? but, wow, youâre gorgeous! what are you with this brute?â
-> barou moves to stand but you place a hand over his and put on the fakest, most obnoxious voice you can manage. âyeah, he must be stupid for settling for me! he can do so much better!â you fling yourself into your boyfriendâs chest and dramatically beg him not to break up with you, and when you glance back, the guy is gone
-> you smile as barou snickers. âwow. amazing performance. 10/10.â âthank you, thank you. i try.â
kunigami rensuke
-> âwhatâs a pretty little thing like you doing with a guy like thisââ kunigami has the guy by the collar before he can take a step closer to you
-> you stand, too. dropping him, kunigami steps aside so you can handle it yourself. you step forward and give the guy a sweet smile before whispering, âi donât think he knows he can do better.â
-> the guy stands there, stammering for a response, when kunigami shoots him a look. he darts off after that, leaving you alone with your boyfriend
-> âyou didnât have to lie to the poor guy,â kunigami hums as he plays with your fingers, never releasing your hand for the rest of the night
itoshi sae
-> itâs not unusual for sore losers to hassle sae, but then tend to back off when the two of you are together. this guy just happened to be peristant
-> heâd been bugging you all night, trying to get a rise out of sae. you admire your boyfriendâs patience, but you had enough once the guy stepped between you and sae
-> âaw, come on, you can tell me! is he paying you or something? how does someone like that score a woman like you?â you didnât see a point in biting your tongue any longer
-> lowering your voice, you turned away from sae and looked at the guy with a fake pout. âaw, come on. keep talking like that and heâll realize he can do better.â
-> sae wasnât pleased with the way you put yourself down, but after assuring him it was only to get the guy to leave, he kissed your cheek and told you he believes you. he still gets you flowers every time you look sad, though
itoshi rin
-> though rinâs team won, he didnât make the final goal, so he wasnât all that excited. still, you took him out to celebrate (and cheer up)
-> it was working, until you spotted someone from the opposing team still wearing their uniform and excused yourself from rin to politely ask the guy not to start any trouble
-> âyouâre here with him, right?â âyes, and iâd appreciate it if you didnâtââ âwhat are you doing with a guy like him? youâre cute!â sighing, you tell the guy to mind his business and not remind rin that he could do better
-> âwhat did you tell him?â your boyfriend asks when you return to your table. âoh, that you can do better, so he better not ruin this for me.â
-> heâs quiet. âthatâs stupid.â âhm?â âitâs stupid, y/n. donât talk about yourself like that. youâre the one who can do better, not me.â
alexis ness
-> usually the two of you would hang out with nessâs teammates after a match, but kaiser wasnât in the mood, so the others left you and ness on your own
-> you were actually enjoying yourself! until someone from the losing team spotted you and decided to try and ruin your night
-> âoi! itâs kaiserâs little pet!â it hurt you to see your boyfriend upset at the nickname, but you were going to stay quiet until they turned their sights onto you. âyouâre way too pretty for a pushover like him.â
-> âshut up! he could do so much better than me if he wanted to, so donât put any thoughts into his head and leave us alone!â
-> they leave, but ness panics and pulls you closer by your hands. âwait, i donât think that! i love you, only you, i donât even want to think about being with someone else.â
chigiri hyoma
-> though he may seem like it sometimes, chigiri isnât the soft spoken type. itâs one of your favorite things about him
-> the two of you were enjoying a date after he won his soccer match when someone from the opposing team appeared. it took him a little while to finally approach, and you rolled your eyes when he did
-> âsorry, if i may, why are you on a date with a cripple? not to brag, but i have two working legs, andââ chigiri opened his mouth, but you beat him to it
-> âthe fuck do you think you are? am i on a date with you? no. leave. iâm with my boyfriend, who hasnât realized he can do better, so if you couldââ âoh, y/n, you donât have to lie to the guy to get him to leave! you heard her. leave.â
hiori yo
-> âhiori! can you even celebrate this win when you spent the entire game on the bench?â
-> youâre mad. you know hiori was struggling to find his reasoning behind playing soccer when he didnât love the game anymore, so it annoyed you to see people attack him like that
-> when he didnât budge, the sore losers turned their attention to you. âhey, youâre not half bad! why waste your time with a bench warmer? i played the whole game, babyââ
-> âstop. iâm not interested. and could you not? i donât want my boyfriend to know he can do betterââ âyou played the whole game, yet you didnât touch the ball once. leave us alone.â
-> once they go, hiori gives you a sad look. âyou donât have to put yourself down for my benefit. iâm lucky to have you, i donât want anyone else.â
#requested!#as a side note never limit yourself to what men think you are worth so much more đ€#they canât do better than you babes <3#bllk#blue lock#bllk x reader#michael kaiser#bachira meguru#mikage reo#nagi seishiro#isagi yoichi#barou shouei#kunigami rensuke#itoshi sae#itoshi rin#alexis ness#chigiri hyoma#hiori yo
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From the (Bats) Nest
Part 1: Boys.?
Nightwingâs signal comes on first.
Bruce grabs the keys to the Batmobile. Jason, Tim, and Damian are with him, he isnât too worried.
The boys had all gone together on a mission that really only wouldâve taken one of them. Confiscate some smuggled weapons from a boathouse.
Jasonâs signal comes on next.
At least.. Bruce thought it only wouldâve taken one of them. He picks up the pace a little as he gets into the Batmobile, pulling out of the cave
Timâs signal comes on.
Bruce is pushing the speed limit.
Damianâs.
Bruce disregards the speed limit. Heâs going 80 in a 25 zone.
He barely even has his cowl on properly as he all but jumps out of the Batmobile when he pulls up outside the boathouse on the harbor.
He kicks the door in, takes out a few goons, then his eyes fall on the eskrima sticks he almost stepped on.
NoâŠ
He picks them up, his eyes flitting to the other side of the room, where Timâs battle staff was on the ground with a grappling hook.
No, pleaseâŠ
He ran over and picked those up, too. Cradling them in his arms for a moment. He glanced up at the other door in the room, he got up and quietly snuck through it.
In one corner, Bruce could see Red Hoodâs guns, and every single one of Damianâs weapons.
What have these bastards doneâŠ
He looked over to where the boat sat and Bruce actually honest-to-god flinched. 4 boys. The oldest probably only 16. But it wasnât exactly their age that had shocked Bruce.
They were all wearing vigilante costumes that were definitely too big for them. Nightwing⊠Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin.
âHow was I supposed to know what the 10 meant?! Ten years back?! Thatâs insane! This is all insane!!â
Bruce glanced over at the villains as they spoke in hushed whispers. His glare narrowed.
âInsane is one way to put it, yeah.â
The idiots froze as Batman towered over them. And they were knocked out cold in an instant.
Bruce walked over to the side of the boat.
âKids?â
Dick looked over. He was holding a tiny Damian.
âBruce.!â Dick let out the name exasperatedly. âI donât know what happened! I just woke up and there were-â
âHushâŠâ
Bruce helped the boys out of the boat, taking a wriggly toddler-ified Damian from Dickâs arms. At least one of his children still knew him.
Ten years younger. So⊠Dick was 15, Jason 9, Tim 7, and Damian would be 3.
Bruce spoke into his comms
âAlfred, do me a favor and get ready to make some hot chocolate. Weâre going to need it.â
#writing#dcu#batman fanfiction#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batfam#From the (bats) nest
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Okay but heâd fuck you so hard when they lose the Super Bowl after you spends an hour gloating about the eagles handing their asses to them!
i saw this request and started giggling and kicking my feet omg. anon, i owe you my first born child. you are a GENIUS! (although, fair warning, i'm not great at writing smut. i hope this is okay <3) not proofread
cw: unprotected p in v, rough sex, mean rafe, slapping, degradation
Football tended to be a touchy subject between you and Rafe. Where you were a diehard Eagles fan, he wouldn't be caught dead rooting for them. After the Chiefs narrowly beat out the Eagles in the 2023 Super Bowl, Rafe wouldn't shut up for weeks about how "trash" the Eagles were. It drove you absolutely insane.
That's why, when the Eagles absolutely kicked ass this Super Bowl in a rematch against the Chiefs, beating them out at a whopping 40-22, you thought it was your well-deserved right to rub it in Rafe's face, much to his dismay.
One thing about Rafe is that gloating is only okay when he does itâmuch like a lot of other things (he's a very hypocritical guy), hence his growing anger when you wouldn't stop talking about how the Chiefs absolutely threw the game with all their fumbles, making jokes the whole time about how it seemed like they weren't even playing.
Another thing about Rafe? He tended to get violent when he was angry. With other people, this meant he'd kick their asses, but with you, it meant you were in for a long night of rough fucking to make him feel better and put you in your place for your "bratty attitude."
Though, if you tried to point out the hypocrisy with him finding your actions annoying when he had done the exact same two years prior, he would only get more annoyed and very, very defensive.
You'd learned at a very early stage in your relationship that some battles were not worth fighting with Rafe, and besides, you kind of liked it when he was all rough with you, manhandling and degrading you deliciously.
"Not so mouthy now, huh?" He taunted, pounding into you from behind. Each thrust pushed you forward a little bit, your face burying further into the pillows as you moaned. A sharp slap to your ass had you gasping, the pain sending a jolt of pleasure to your core that had you practically gushing around Rafe's thick length. You didn't know how long you'd been going at this with him, but he hadn't let you cum, nor had he let up the brutal pace.
"Look at you," he sneered. "Can't even think of anything to say back to me, huh? Thought you were gonna gloat all night about how the Eagles won." His words were cruel and biting, revealing the depth of his anger, which wasn't about the football game. It was more so about being challenged, his ego hurt after talking such a big game about how the Chiefs were going to dominate.
You couldn't form a coherent sentence. Your brain turned to mush as the only thing you could focus on were his rough hands on you and his length stretching your velvety walls. You could practically feel each ridge and vein of his cock as it slid back and forth, his tip nudging your cervix roughly with each pass.
"What happened to that smart mouth, huh?" He mocked. "Your dumb little brain's too desperate for cock, huh, bunny," he cooed, his tone patronizing as he continued to pound into you with rough strokes, making your back arch and eyes roll back.
He was so mean, but you loved it.
He was right. You couldn't respond to him anymore. You had lost your ability to form a single word, dumbed down to a mess of please sounds as he hit that sweet spot inside of you so perfectly. He took that as a victory, seeing it as proof that you knew your place. He loved it when you whimpered underneath him, completely at his mercy. "Look who's behaving now. You're lucky you're so pretty, honey," he continued, enjoying this little game of his. "Otherwise, I wouldn't put up with such a bratty mouth."
"Fuuuuuck," he groaned, giving your ass another sharp smack before his hands found your hips again, his grip bordering on painful. "And this fuckin' love this pussy. Fuckin' perfect, baby."
He was getting close. You could tell by the way his pace started to falter, and his words switched from degrading to praising. One hand slipped down to your clit, rubbing firm circles. Even when he was pissed, he still tried to make you cum first.
It didn't take much more effort on his part. Your thighs were already trembling, desperate for release from the moment he'd thrown you onto the bed and ripped your clothes off.
"You're gonna be a good girl now, huh? You're gonna stop being such a pain in the ass, aren't you?" He questioned, punctuating each question with a thrust. "No more running your mouth and riling me up, right?"
"Uh huh," you whined pathetically, needy and desperate to cum.
He knew he had you right where he wanted you, all pliant and begging. "Yeah, you gonna stop talking back, huh? You can be a good little bunny for me, can't you?" He cooed, his words sounding a little bit less harsh. He was enjoying having you like this, completely at his mercy.
All you could muster was a weak nod, your fingers gripping the sheets and mouth parted in ecstacy as you reached your peak, blinding pleasure overtaking your body as your walls clamped down around his cock.
"That's it, baby, just like that," he groaned, pumping a few more times before pushing deep inside you and releasing spurts of hot, sticky cum into your eager cunt.
#đ#đŠč Ś đ đ sol writes .á#đ
àৠsol &&. anon ïŒ#soleil's asks <3#answered !#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron smut#rafe#rafe x reader#rafe x fem!reader#rafe x female reader#rafe smut#outer banks#outer banks smut#obx#obx smut#obx rafe cameron#rafe obx#eagles#kc chiefs#chiefs vs eagles#super bowl
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can you do a sturniolo sister where she is 4 and itâs a compilation of times where she is clingy to the boys
yesss! this is cuteee!
Stuck to You â A Compilation of Clingy Y/N Moments
Sturniolos x sister
1. The Morning Koala
It was 8 a.m., and Matt groggily made his way to the kitchen, still half-asleep. But before he could even pour himself a bowl of cereal, he felt two tiny arms wrap around his leg like a vice.
âMattyyyyy!â
Y/N clung to his leg like a koala, her little face pressed against his knee.
Matt sighed, rubbing his eyes. âY/N, we talked about this. You canât just grab my leg like that.â
âYes, I can,â she mumbled sleepily, tightening her grip.
Nick walked in, raising a brow. âBro⊠you got an attachment issue on aisle one.â
Matt gestured dramatically to his leg. âPlease, get her off me.â
Chris, sipping his morning juice box, grinned. âNah, thatâs your problem now.â
2. The Bathroom Breakdown
Nick had made the critical mistake of shutting the bathroom door without Y/N knowing where he went.
Big mistake.
A loud wail erupted from the other side of the door. âNICKY, WHERE ARE YOUUU?!â
Nick groaned, resting his forehead against the bathroom sink. âY/N, Iâm literally peeing. Can you chill?â
âI MISS YOU!â
âYou saw me five seconds ago!â
Matt, walking by, cackled. âYou gonna let her in or let her suffer?â
Nick sighed in defeat and cracked open the door. âFine.â
Y/N immediately waddled in, plopping onto the bathroom floor with her stuffed animal. âI just wanna be with you.â
Nick shook his head. âThis is insane.â
3. The Grocery Store Meltdown
Chris was pushing the cart through the grocery store while Matt and Nick walked beside him, grabbing snacks. Y/N, however, refused to walk.
âI wanna go up!â she whined, reaching for Chris.
âYouâre four,â Chris sighed. âYou can walk.â
âBut my legs are tired!â
âY/N, youâve been sitting in the car for the last hourââ
Before he could finish, her eyes welled up with tears. âYou donât love me anymore?â she sniffled dramatically.
Chris let out a long sigh before hoisting her onto his hip. âYouâre literally scamming me, bro.â
Y/N grinned, resting her head on his shoulder. âThank you, Bubby.â
Matt chuckled. âSheâs got you wrapped around her tiny little finger.â
Chris muttered, âYeah, Iâm aware.â
4. The âDonât Leaveâ Incident
The triplets had a meeting that day, which meant Y/N had to stay home with their friend Madi ,But the second she saw them putting on their shoes, she panicked.
âNO!â she wailed, running straight into Mattâs legs. âDONâT LEAVE ME!â
âY/N, weâll be back soon!â Nick tried reasoning with her.
She shook her head violently, wrapping herself around Mattâs leg like a monkey. âTake me with you!â
Chris knelt down. âBug, weâll be home before you even noticeââ
âI NOTICE EVERYTHING!â she cried dramatically.
Nick sighed. âAlright, Matt, you got this one. Weâll be in the car.â
Matt, now carrying a sobbing Y/N, groaned. âWhy am I the chosen one?â
5. The Sleepover Sabotage
One night, the triplets invited a couple of friends over. Y/N was supposed to be asleep, but she had other plans.
She wobbled into the living room, rubbing her eyes. âI wanna sleep with you guys.â
Nick looked at her, amused. âY/N, you have a whole bed.â
âBut I want you,â she whined, climbing onto the couch and squeezing herself between Matt and Chris.
Chris sighed. âWhat are we supposed to do, kick her out?â
Matt shook his head. âNope, she wins. She always wins.â
And just like that, the tripletsâ âguysâ nightâ turned into âY/N takes over.â
Again.
Final Thought:
Having a clingy little sister was exhausting, chaotic, and borderline ridiculous.
But at the end of the day? The triplets wouldnât have it any other way.
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo#matt stuniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#sister sturniolo#sturniolo series
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SPONTANEOUS â venus + shouta aizawa (@twilightakiishi )
warnings: use of handcuffs, grinding, teasing, handjob, unprotected sex, use of lube, furniture gets broken
this is part of my TOYS, TOYS, and MORE TOYS event , send in a request!
He rests his back against the headboard, only clad in his boxer shorts and he watches you with an amused grin. âYou sure you donât want to try this the other way around?â His eyes roam along your lingerie clad body as you move to straddle him and then his gaze goes to the item you have in your left hand. âIâm sure, this is going to be fun.â
He nods and bites his bottom lip as you lean in. He moves his hands up to your hips and grips the flesh tightly, earning a playful slap on his arm from you. âNo touching and remember, once this is on donât pull too much. Now put your hands up.â His cock twitches as he lifts his arms above his head and he leans in to pepper kisses along your chest as you open then clasp the handcuffs around his wrists.
He groans as you pull back and he gives a test tug to make sure theyâre secure. âNow that Iâm restrained, what do you have in store for me?â You donât respond to his question as you reach into the bedside drawer and grab the small bottle of lube. He watches you closely as you pull down his boxers to reveal his half hard cock then open the cap to the lube. He bites back a hiss when you pour a generous amount onto his cock and groans when you wrap your hand around it.
You pump your hand slowly, the slick sounds slowly start to fill the room and he groans. âFuck, baby go faster please. This is killing me.â He tugs at his handcuffs again, making the metal strain against the headboard. But despite his pleas you keep moving your hand slowly, the squelch of your hand along his cock only adds to his frustrations. He wants â no, needs to feel more.
When he agreed to being restrained with the new handcuffs he bought for you two, he shouldâve known you had something up your sleeve. This has to be payback for all the times he teased and toyed with you whenever he got new toys or whenever he needed to relieve some stress.
He bucks his hips up against your hand for more and he throws his head back. âBaby, please. This is gonna drive me insane.â He tugs at the cuffs again, making the wood of your headboard creak once more and you look to see angry red marks form along his wrists. âOkay, okay Iâll give you more.â You pull your hand from his cock and watch as a bead of precum drips from the tip to join the mess of lube along his shaft.
You bite your lip as you pull your panties to the side and adjust your hips so you can line up with him throbbing cock. You move one hand down to grip the base then slowly start to sink down. When heâs about halfway inside of you, you slam your hips down. It rips a gasp out of you and a guttural moan from Shouta. He waits for you to bounce but it doesnât happen, all you do is place your hands on his chest as you grind against him. Your clit catches against his neatly trimmed patch of black pubic hair.
He groans again and grits his teeth as all you do is grind against him like heâs a fucking pillow. A smile grows on your face as you see how annoyed heâs getting, you move a hand up to brush some of his hair from his face. âWhatâs wrong, Shouta? Iâm giving you more, isnât this better than my hand?â You coo condescendingly at him, itâs a tone that heâs given you time and time again when youâve begged him to stop his teasing. He narrows his eyes at you and shakes his head, âyou know whatâs wrong, stop fucking teasing me.â
You laugh as you lift your hips slightly before sinking them back down to grind against him some more. âBut this is so much fun, arenât you enjoying yourself?â He continues to tug at the handcuffs and then it finally happens when he gives it a particularly hard tug. The creaking wood of the headboard finally cracks and while heâs still restrained, he is more free to do what he wants. Your eyes widen as he pushes you back down against the bed and adjusts himself between your thighs, snapping his hips into yours.
âNow letâs have some real fun.â
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