#please look after your herps

[feeder86]

Fixing the Feeder

“Who’s that?” Hendrix asked his new friends as he gazed around the gay venue he was visiting for the first time. Having recently moved here for his job, Hendrix had arrived alone that night and quickly started introducing himself to the group of men who seemed most likely to visit the club on a regular basis. The guy he was asking about was clearly very attractive, with a tall, slender frame and pretty face. However, that wasn’t the reason why Hendrix’s interest had been piqued. It was the fact that such a handsome guy stood all alone and, unless Hendrix had been very much mistaken, he’d just seen him checking out a couple of the softer chubs in the corner.

Collectively, the guys all pulled a face. “That’s Felix!” one replied. “We don’t talk to him.”

Hendrix’s face lit up with intrigue; the cogs in his head were already whirring.

“He dated Lee, one of our friends,” another explained to Hendrix. “He was already quite a big guy, but he absolutely ballooned when he was with Felix.”

“And you think Felix was the reason for that?” Hendrix asked, pleased that his predictions had been exactly right.

“Definitely!” jumped in another. “We could all see what he was up to, with his cream cakes and fast food. Then, the moment we convinced Lee to go for the gastric band, Felix finished with him, just like that!”

“Oh, really?” Hendrix asked, taking another look over at the pretty boy in question. “That’s not cool,” he agreed. “So you think he’s a feeder, huh?”

“We know he’s a feeder,” came the swift reply. “And now everyone else does. He can’t hide it any more.”

“So you’re able to warn those you see him getting close to?” Hendrix smirked, knowing that he had chosen the exact right people to make friends with that night in order to learn all he could about the crowds in here.

“Absolutely!” they all nodded, like a team of justice warriors; their cold stares fixed firmly on Felix; the enemy walking amongst them.

“Well, well… it sucks to be you!” Hendrix chuckled as he headed to the bar an hour or so later and caught Felix on his own once more. He smirked at the guy, knowing he himself had already picked up the number of a deliciously doughy-looking chub he’d seen Felix staring longingly at earlier. “You’re about as popular as herpes around here,” he stated without sympathy.

“It won’t last forever,” Felix replied, seeming to instinctively know that he was talking with a kindred spirit after eyeballing Hendrix flirting with the fat boy he had been so keen on. “People soon forget these things.”

Hendrix couldn’t help but laugh at Felix’s naivety. “I don’t think they do,” he scoffed. “Dumping your boyfriend because he was going for a gastric band? You exposed yourself to everyone,” he explained unsympathetically. “Sure, they may have had suspicions before about you being a feeder, but you made damn sure to give them the final nail to seal your coffin.”

Felix grunted bitterly, but he couldn’t deny the truth of what Hendrix was saying. “So, that means more fat boys for you then, huh?” he asked. “Your biggest competition has been eliminated from the game.”

Smirking once more, Hendrix looked Felix up and down. Yes, the boy was handsome, but it was Hendrix’s upper body strength that made sure he never lost out when it came to picking up the guys he wanted. Felix thought of himself as his competition? In Hendrix’s experience, guys always chose the ‘muscle stud’ over the ‘pretty boy’ every time. He collected his drinks, heading straight back to the fat boy he planned to take home later, looking back over his shoulder to ensure that Felix was watching as he placed a hand on the chub’s deliciously soft, under-exercised butt: the first of many fatties that he planned to fuck around here.

The next day, Hendrix squirted a little extra aftershave on himself as he got ready for his new job. He already knew that he was going to smash it. He’d consistently been the most successful car salesman since his second month at the last dealership he’d worked at. Now, moving up to the higher end of the market, the commission he was about to start earning would at last give him the life he deserved. Tight pants never hurt, nor shirts that showed off his excellent muscular physique. It was a fine balance, making himself look handsome enough to attract the female market, yet with a clear muscular athleticism that would encapsulate how the male customers aspired to be and ensure that they felt free to talk sports with him as he guided them towards a hefty sale.

Nothing had surprised Hendrix on that first day, apart from the identity of the pretty-looking dude, sitting in the accountancy office. It couldn’t be, surely? Felix, the fallen feeder, worked here too? He’d smirked and shaken the guy’s hand, keeping up the pretense that they had never met before. What a small world they lived in, he laughed to himself, staring back over his shoulder from the main floor and noticing that Felix was staring back through the glass walls that separated him from where the real work happened.

The mechanics in the back were friendly enough, if a little quick to grumble about how the site was managed. But Hendrix was a natural at smooth talk and soon ingratiated himself with them all. Within two hours of being there, he’d made his first sale: a company record.

It wasn’t until Day 4 that the new golden boy, Hendrix, found himself unaccompanied as he grabbed a coffee from the back room. That was when Felix crept in. “Hello again,” the man smiled, as if pleased that they were both able to speak freely at last. “How did things go with the chub after you left on Saturday?”

Hendrix laughed as he poured himself a cup from the machine; of course that was going to be Felix’s first question to him. “Pretty good!” he nodded, turning back around. “That doughy ass took a good pounding and there was plenty of decent back fat to grab onto.” He closed his eyes for a second, emphasising how perfect the memory of it was. “His whole body jiggled beautifully.”

Felix seemed to flush with arousal at the thought, surprised at how immediately open Hendrix was about it all. “Lucky you!” he mumbled.

“The foreplay was nice too,” Hendrix continued. “I squirted a can of cream over places and made him lick it all off,” he boasted. “Let’s just say… fat boy was VERY good at that part!”

“You like to feed them as well?” Felix asked, his eyes alert, as if this was the most important conversation he would have all day.

“Of course,” Hendrix nodded. “It’s rule number one in my book,” he explained. “When you fuck chubs, you’ve always gotta leave them a little bit fatter and softer for the next guy.”

Felix swallowed. “I hope that next guy is me,” he mumbled.

Once again, Hendrix chuckled, patronisingly patting Felix on his butt. “It won’t be!” he smirked. “After your little stunt, all the fatties know to stay well away from you.”

Sighing, it was somehow very obvious that Felix was turned on and frustrated. “I’ve gotta find some way to fix this,” he rambled, seeming as if he might burst if he didn’t get some fat boy action soon.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” Hendrix gloated, putting his coffee on the table and throwing his large, muscular body down onto the couch, before fixing his hands at the back of his head and relaxing. “You’re just going to have to move somewhere very far away, where no one knows you,” he teased.

“How jiggly was his butt?” Felix asked next, sitting down with him and keen to return to hearing all about Hendrix’s experience.

“Very!” Hendrix grinned, happy to indulge the horny boy. “Great rippling when I thrusted against it! You know, like those fat boys who don’t do any exercise whatsoever. Although, he wasn’t that used to taking guys as big as me, so he squealed a little bit in places.”

There it was: the little boner pressing against Felix’s pants. He really was every bit as kinky as Hendrix, who smirked at the sight of it. This meant that there was an opportunity to be exploited, should Hendrix play things very carefully…

“We should go for a drink after work; compare notes on the fatties we’ve had,” Hendrix suggested next, already lifting his great body up with a nonchalance that suggested Felix’s answer would mean little to him either way.

“Sure!” Felix shot back, not getting up from the couch and knowing full well that he would have to stay down for a little while longer; until the hardness retreated.

Hendrix had never spoken so openly about his experiences of being with chubs as he did that evening with Felix. He suddenly found that he had a way with words and storytelling that made each and every one of them sound so sexually charged and erotic; he could see Felix hanging on his every word.

“So, he actually ate it all?” Felix laughed, hearing the end to yet another of Hendrix’s kinky tales.

“Of course he did!” Hendrix nodded. “Look at me. Would you deny a stud like me anything if I asked it? He gobbled it all down straight away, then couldn’t button his pants the next day. It was so fucking cute!”

“That’s amazing!” Felix smiled, his eyes full of awe.

Hendrix checked his watch, sighing as if it was getting late. “Shall we sort that out?” he asked casually, pointing down at Felix’s bulging erection that hadn’t gone down all evening.

Felix looked surprised at being asked, yet Hendrix’s tales had wound him up enough that there was no chance of him saying no. He was one of those men who just seemed so much more malleable when he was horny. Soon, he was back at Hendrix’s new place, dropping his pants and relieved to finally have someone stroking his dick at long last.

Hendrix was determined that it shouldn’t be a quick fix, despite how desperate Felix seemed to want to climax, slapping the guy’s hand away each time he seemed to grab his own hardness in an attempt to make himself finish. He could see why the fatties had fallen for him. Felix had a fine body, with cute, pert little glutes that Hendrix knew he would need to stick his dick between soon. It was how he came, twenty minutes later, ploughing his harness into the delighted Felix whilst the guy lay on his front, pressed into the bed. 

After climaxing, Hendrix rolled them both onto their sides, still keeping himself fully erect and inserted. He moved quickly, reaching behind the pillow to where he had stealthily hidden a can of whipped cream. “It’s your turn!” he whispered, knowing just how achingly horny the boy was by that point. He couldn’t see his reaction as he took in the can of cream, but Felix would have been naive if he hadn’t known this was coming. “You know my rule…” Hendrix whispered, inserting the nozzle between the guy’s lips. “If I fuck them, I fatten them.”

There was a click as the fresh can sprang into life. Felix’s submissive mouth was filling with cream whilst Hendrix slid his other large hand up and down the guy’s shaft. This was it: the moment Felix was at last going to be allowed to climax. The boy swallowed and swallowed, desperate for Hendrix to keep on working his erection and not stop. He seemed to intuitively know that every scrap of pleasure Hendrix provided would be conditional upon this one concession of his: swallow the cream down.

Hendrix chuckled, unable to help how amusing he found it all. “Good boy!” he cooed into Felix’s ear as he felt the hardness pulse and almost quiver; the can of whipped cream getting lighter by the second as it was mercilessly pumped down Felix’s throat. There was something so pathetically sexy about the way a guy would relax when this was done; their bodies limp and full of complete unjustified trust in him as Hendrix brought the inevitable explosion closer and closer. Felix whimpered as his erection spluttered and then shot out forcefully across Hendrix’s sheets, making quite the mess. Only the tiniest amount remained in the can, which Hendrix quickly scurried away so that he didn’t see. By the way Felix was looking at him, mouth agape, Hendrix knew that he had just given the guy the best orgasm of his life.

The next day, Hendrix’s only contact with Felix had been to nod at him in mutual appreciation of the very large, deliciously overfed guy who came into the showroom: legs of pure blubber and an ass that was bordering on being too big to be accommodated in the seats of the cars, Hendrix knew that this was a body that they both could drool over. Despite having a sixth sense that the guy didn’t have the money to be a serious buyer, Hendrix indulged the man for a full forty minutes, delaying the inevitable chat about finance options which always sent them running. 

“Why does Felix keep looking over here?” complained one of Hendrix’s new friends at the gay club that weekend. 

“Oh,” smirked Hendrix. “That’ll be me,” he chuckled. “It turns out we’re now colleagues. He works in the finance department of my new showroom.”

“Unlucky you!” growled another. He hadn’t stopped scowling at Felix since he’d first come in.

“He’s developed a bit of a thing for me,” Hendrix went on to explain. “Not that you can blame him!” he winked at them all.

“He’s bad news,” warned Pete, the oldest of the group.

Hendrix nodded in falsely sympathetic agreement. “But I know how to handle guys like Felix. Plus, it might be good to give him a taste of his own medicine…” he laughed, looking squarely at Pete. “Get some revenge for your friend, Lee.”

The guys all leaned in closer; every last one of them. “What were you thinking?”

“No luck this evening?” Hendrix asked half an hour later, strolling over to Felix.

Felix appeared delighted to have Hendrix beside him. He shook his head. “Just the usual chubs,” he replied, without glancing to double check.

“That’s a shame,” Hendrix smiled. “You’ll have to come home with me instead,” he offered, placing his large hand on Felix’s slender butt as if he owned it.

Electricity seemed to crackle in Felix’s eyes. “That doesn’t seem like a bad consolation prize,” he mumbled back, his voice breaking slightly. When Hendrix held out his hand, Felix took it, allowing himself to be led out of the club; completely oblivious to the amount of knowing eyes that were upon him.

“Who the hell is that?” asked Felix, hearing someone knocking at the front door some time later as he made out with Hendix on his couch.

Hendrix lifted himself up and pulled out his wallet to tip the delivery person, returning to Felix’s side holding two large boxes of meat and cheese-filled pizzas. “You know my rule,” he grinned, opening the box and letting out a plume of delicious scents, “If I fuck them, I fatten them…”

Felix raised his eyebrows, as if trying to work out when Hendrix had even had time to order pizzas since they had arrived back at his place. He wriggled nervously in his seat, unsure whether he should lie back or sit up. Meanwhile, Hendrix set to work stimulating the guy’s little dick, ensuring it was pumped and ready for some kinky fun. “Alright… maybe just a bit of pizza,” he conceded. 

In Hendrix’s experience, in order to flip a feeder, you needed three things: a definite, unrelenting admiration of fat guys, a potential submissive streak, and a super hard, easily excited dick. That last one had become tonight’s focus. Hendrix worked that sensitive muscle between Felix’s legs with a cherishing love, knowing that it was the key to everything that would come next. If Felix had ever been a feeder of any sort of substance, he should have realised how keenly Hendrix was educating himself on how best to stimulate his dick: the grip strength, the speed of the stroke, the positioning. If he could edge him well enough, he knew he could make Felix do anything he wanted in time. Tonight, Felix wanted to climax, there was no doubt about that. Hendrix just had to make sure that he had maximum results on the calories front before that happened.

Three weeks into all this and Hendrix knew that Felix was ready for the chat. He’d witnessed a slight softening in the torso and a subtle broadening in the guy’s rear. “You know I’m going to get bored of all this soon, unless I start seeing some results?” He shrugged his shoulders, looking at Felix earnestly. “I am what I am,” he sighed. “A feeder soon gets bored without some blubber to play with.”

His timing had been good, with Felix having spent the last 30 minutes sucking on cream and getting pounded until he practically exploded everywhere. It was obvious from the soppy eyed expressions Felix gave him that no one had ever pleasured the boy quite like this. “I’m up five pounds,” he tried to answer.

Hendrix scoffed. “Five pounds?” he repeated back to him, as if emphasising how pathetic it sounded. “You know what I am,” he whispered smoothly, sliding down the bed and spooning the naked guy until Hendrix’s semi-erection nestled back between Felix’s butt cheeks, where it belonged. “I want a piggy!”

“I’ve never thought about gaining myself,” Felix replied quietly.

“Until now…” Hendrix reminded him, kissing the back of his head sweetly. “You can’t tell me you haven’t enjoyed those five extra pounds I’ve put on you.” His hand reached into Felix’s groin, feeling that the guy was indeed getting hard again. Slowly, he began to tug it, knowing how much more malleable the boy became when he was horny. In reality, the guy should have been wise to this sort of manipulation, were he really as adept at feeding as he had previously claimed to be in his previous relationship.

Felix moaned in agreement, his eyes rolling back into his head.

“And you want to put on more weight for me, don’t you?” Hendrix asked him, pushing a much firmer erection back inside him. “You want to make me proud to fuck you, right?”

Felix’s body completely relaxed, enjoying the submission as he prepared to be fucked once more. “Yes,” he whispered diligently back, as if hardly comprehending what a momentous milestone he had just passed.

Over the years, Hendrix had met a few guys like Felix; sling a hard dick inside them and they gave in entirely. The only difference here was the fantastic, instant access Hendrix had to Felix for so much of the week. Hendrix could whip up his most devious calorie shakes, then chuckle as he’d watch Felix discovering it in his desk drawer at work; slowly sucking it all down throughout the morning in the hope that Hendrix may pleasure him in the bathroom come lunchtime.

“You’ll see when he comes in,” Hendrix boasted to his friends at the gay bar. “His face is puffing up quite a bit and those tight little glutes of his have swollen out somewhat!”

“Is he actually getting a belly?” asked Pete, surprisingly thrilled by Hendrix’s genius plan to enact revenge for them all.

Hendrix considered for a second. “It’s more of a paunch than a belly. But if you want me to put a gut on him, I can definitely make that work,” he smiled obligingly.

The whole gang chuckled, nodding their heads. “Do it!” they cried, as if this was all one giant, elaborate prank.

Hendrix sighed, pretending to find this to be one long, tedious homework assignment; as if he was doing all this out of a kindness to them all. “Very well,” he nodded. “I’ll see what I can do for you.”

When Felix arrived twenty minutes later, Hendrix was delighted with the fit of the guy’s pants, stretching across the broader, softer glutes. Even in the middle of the bar, Hendrix couldn’t resist gently stroking the tubbier rear, knowing that the eyes of everyone were watching his every move. He paraded the boy for a good thirty minutes, before slowly guiding him out; taking him back home to fatten and fuck him; much like every night.

“I’ll tell you who’s packed on a few pounds recently,” grunted Roy, one of the mechanics in the back. “Have you noticed Felix’s stomach recently?” he asked Hendrix and a couple of the other guys as they took a few moments outside to chat at the end of the lunch break.

“Yeah, I noticed that,” nodded another mechanic. “He’s starting with a right little beer gut,” he agreed.

“Well, what do you expect?” Hendrix shrugged. “The guy sits on his butt at a computer screen all day,” he explained, rolling his eyes as if Felix was nothing more than lazy. “He’s not up on his feet all day like we are.”

The other guys nodded, feeling that, despite whatever the admin-pushers like Felix believed, it was really their hard graft that kept this place running. “I have a cousin who ballooned after he got an office job,” agreed one. “It’s not good for you at all.”

At that moment, Felix appeared from around the corner; his portly little stomach straining the buttons of his shirt after quietly consuming two of the calorie shakes Hendrix had left for him that day. He called across to one of them, asking if certain parts had arrived so that he could finish writing up an invoice, then spun back around, giving them all a perfect view of his thicker glutes. Once out of earshot, the guys all looked at each other and burst out laughing. There was no doubt about it: Felix was slowly becoming quite the fat boy.

Perhaps Felix hadn’t even noticed how much more he was able to eat over the coming weeks and months, but the change had been nothing if not deliberate. With each kinky act of foreplay, Hendrix had slowly raised his expectations for what he expected Felix to consume. The fat itself was packing on beautifully across Felix’s sides, giving him deliciously cute, plump-looking love handles that completely altered his previously slender shape. Simply watching them emerge had given Hendrix a thrill unlike any other.

“Time to step on the scales,” Hendrix cooed, rousing Felix from his sleep that Sunday morning.

Felix groaned a little and rolled over in bed. It had only been four hours since he had been woken and fondled until he was horny enough to swallow down a gainer shake for Hendrix in the middle of the night. Ultimately, however, he was a good boy, dragging himself out of bed for a quick bathroom stop before the scales were ceremoniously brought out in front of Hendrix’s full-length mirror.

“Look at you!” Hendrix marvelled, admiring the way the blubber had continued to spread itself around Felix’s waist that week. There was no denying the fact that the guy was getting little moobs, with even the tops of his arms starting to puff up in a way that only happened with a consistent period of prolonged weight gain. Hendrix pulled down the tight boxer shorts that Felix had slept in, noticing all the little marks where they had been quietly digging into his plushier flesh. 

A lover of fat, even Felix couldn’t help getting hard as he saw it all and felt Hendrix’s large hands bouncing his heavier glutes up and down. His thighs had taken on quite a lot of fresh lard the last couple of weeks, making even Felix’s most resistant clothes absolutely redundant.

“Are you ready to find out how fat you are today?” Hendrix whispered into the boy’s ear, playing with Felix’s dick to ensure he was super turned on before he saw the new number on the scales. It had been a good week for gains, that much Hendrix was sure of; the traces of Felix’s former slender 145lb body slowly disappearing.

Felix nodded and stepped on; his cute little double chin showing itself as he looked down over the top of his developing gut at the building numbers. Two weeks ago, he had crossed 200lbs for the first time. Now the numbers were crossing that threshold with ease: 208…211… higher and higher.

“Fuck!” Felix gasped as it was obvious where the number was going to settle. He turned to Hendrix, catching the sparkling joy in his feeder’s eyes as. “How have I put on so much this week?”

“Because you’re a greedy little fucker,” Hendrix chuckled back, making his lover step off and onto the scales a further two times, just to be certain of the measurement. He grabbed a handful of lard from Felix’s stomach and held it proudly. “I’ll have another eight pounds on you next week as well,” he declared. He’d practically moved Felix in to get these sorts of gains on him, but with results like these, it had all been absolutely worth it.

Hendrix turned Felix back to the mirror, grabbing the boy’s hands and making it grab onto the flesh blubber. He took a step back, watching the former feeder’s love of fat start to wash over him. Felix’s own hands touched all those areas a feeder could never resist. Felix jiggled and bounced himself, raising his arms to admire the new love handles and twisted to see the remarkable transformation of his butt. The boy had always loved seeing fatter bodies, but it was obvious that he had never anticipated the next chubby body he got to play with would be his own. The guy’s dick was so irredeemably hard, Hendrix couldn’t help but laugh. This fatty had the potential to be taken all the way.

Hendrix was greeted as a hero as he strolled about in the gay bar a couple of months later. Whenever Felix went off to the bathroom, someone would come up and pat him on the back, telling him what an amazing job he had done teaching the guy a lesson. They spoke as if it was all done, as if the love handles and the double chin that Felix now owned were the end of the road. To Hendrix, it seemed like the most ridiculous concept to simply stop there. 

“He’s quite a greedy boy, y’know,” he told them all with a grin. “He almost seems oblivious to how much he overeats now. I definitely don’t think he’s done growing yet. That fat ass of his is pretty much made from pure ice cream!” he chuckled.

The guys nodded. They couldn’t help but notice the ridiculous shape of Felix’s glutes in the tight pants he’d worn that night. “Well, no one can deny that you’re committed to the cause!” they’d laugh back.

Hendrix smirked and nodded, spotting Felix making his way back towards him. “Karma’s a bitch!” he winked at them conspiratorially as they all drifted away once more, leaving Hendrix to play his games with Felix.

“How come they all still love you so much?” Felix asked, frowning at the fact that his lover was always so popular here. “Look at how much weight I’ve gained! Surely they must know that you’re a feeder?”

Hendrix laughed, slipping his large hand over Felix’s heavy glutes, rubbing and patting them with pride; the feature he most adored on Felix’s overweight body. It felt even more erotic to enjoy touching him like this in here, where everyone had known his previously slim physique so well before. “I’m just a bit cleverer than you,” he whispered back. “I could turn you into a literal mountain of lard and still have them love me.”

“But, how?” Felix pressed, having his fat stomach rubbed by Hendrix right there in the middle of the bar. He clearly could not comprehend how easily his lover was simply getting away with it all, whilst he himself had been ostricised. 

“Oh, it’s even better than that!” Hendrix smiled, pulling out a coupon for the ice cream joint down the street. “You wouldn’t believe how many of them keep giving things like this to me. They’re all so ridiculously fixated on disliking you that they don’t even realise what I am.” He laughed as he looked around at the faces in the bar. “They all think they’re in on it.”

“They do?” Felix asked in surprise, realising that he’d never quite understood the status Hendrix had in this bar. “No one is trying to stop you? At all?”

“Not one!” Hendrix smiled victoriously. “I’ve got free rein to do with you as I like,” he whispered, resuming his stroking of Felix’s oversized rear once more. “So I’m going to keep adding pounds and pounds and pounds of pure blubber to you. Then I’ll watch as it slowly dawns on them all how they all foolishly enabled and encouraged me…”

Felix looked around, clearly noticing how admired Hendrix was in here. “How long do you think that will take?” he asked, sceptically.

Hendrix smirked again. “Who knows?” he laughed. “Another one hundred pounds… two hundred… Hell, I might need to fatten you up forever in order for them to realise they invited an actual feeder into their circle of trust.”

“You really want to keep going that far?” Felix asked, stroking the back of his head nervously.

“Let me ask you, would you have ever stopped fattening your ex if he hadn’t wanted surgery?”

Felix looked a little sheepish. “No, I guess not,” he mumbled.

Hendrix nodded. “Exactly!” he declared. “Once you’ve sunk your claws into a fatty, there’s no letting go!”

Sometimes, there was a misty eyed look that Felix gave whenever Hendrix let out his most harsh and blunt thoughts. A lust would come over him that was so obvious to Hendrix. The guy became putty in his hand; ready to be pushed and cajoled in any direction Hendrix wanted. 

“How about we get out of here, Piggy?” Hendrix whispered into Felix’s ear. “I’m in the mood to watch you gorge yourself into oblivion tonight!”

Despite the kinkiness of their situation, Hendrix was genuinely delighted to have Felix in his life. Not only was he the guy who was the most sexually compatible with him, but he was also genuinely quite sweet and thoughtful once all his kinks were being managed. However, untamed, Hendrix could see what a nightmare the boy would have been to date previously. Just like Hendrix, he could get turned on at the drop of a hat, and Hendrix could imagine how slyly manipulative he would have been to push calories onto his former lovers. Now, whenever he got horny, he would take himself off to the well stocked kitchen cupboards and rip open a box of something tasty, feeding himself as Hendrix watched on with pleasure. It definitely helped that he too had once been a feeder. He had at least some understanding of how Hendrix’s brain worked. He knew how to dress himself to emphasise those gains and could wrap Hendrix’s fingers around those fleshier regions of his body that no feeder could resist touching.

“I never imagined I’d one day be over three hundred pounds!” Felix laughed to himself, admiring his fat body in the mirror as Hendrix climbed into the bed behind him.

“Well, believe it, buddy!” Hendrix laughed, enjoying the sight of Felix’s round, chubby glutes. For him, the boy was just entering the sweet stage, where even his hips were starting to pile on the pounds, altering his shape into that of a man of more extreme obesity. He was blowing up out of everything he had worn in the last few months; older stretch marks fading and newer ones coming in. There was something so comical about a guy with nipples drooping like Felix’s had started to do; the way the fat was spreading into his chest and bulging under his arms; those fat-filled upper arms and the complete domination of fat under his chin. “I’ve got plenty more pounds I want to add to you!” he grinned, smiling at the indestructible hardness that was straining from Felix’s body, even as a sizable pouch of fat pressed it down slightly in the guy’s groin. His body rippled and jiggled as he strutted over to the bed, the blubber spreading out onto the mattress once he finally lay down. He didn’t flinch as Hendrix reached across to his bedside table and picked up the nightly calorie shake, inserting the nozzle into Felix’s mouth.

Felix moaned, rubbing his little dick as he swallowed and swallowed. A lot of the time, he would simply gaze submissively into Hendrix’s eyes as he did this; adoring the muscular stud, freshly returned from his evening gym session, ready to play. It was the perfect lifestyle for him. Hendrix didn’t ask anything more of him than this: the blissful act of consuming and growing for him. And so he drank every last drop as if this was all he had ever wanted for himself.

One of the things that had bonded Hendrix and Felix together so much was their shared experience of growing up with undeniably crappy parents. The only major difference was that Hendrix had picked himself up and moved his entire life away from all that, whilst Felix had remained close by, keeping them at arm’s length. 

Not having to worry about impressing Felix’s super religious parents had certainly given Hendrix a freedom he would not have otherwise had as the date approached when he would have to meet them both. “You know what I love about you?” Hendrix smiled, watching his lover gorging his breakfast that morning. “You’re a great little stress eater!”

Felix smiled faintly. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” he shrugged.

“It’s the first time your parents have seen you since you turned into such a fatty,” Hendrix bluntly replied, stroking the broad back of his three hundred and fifty pound lover and already plotting how many extra calories he could get into Felix that morning whilst he was in this heightened state.

“Is my large black sweater out of the wash?” Felix asked.

Hendrix rolled his eyes. “You’re planning on wearing that?” he sighed disappointedly, knowing just as well as Felix did that it was the one item of clothing that best disguised that impeccable size of Felix’s stomach.

“What else would I wear today?” Felix shot back.

“The pink sweater?” Hendrix shrugged.

Felix couldn’t hold back his laughter. “No way!” he chuckled. “That thing stopped fitting weeks ago, You only like it because it makes me look enormous!”

“You are enormous,” Hendrix shrugged again. “What’s the point in trying to hide it? I’m proud of how fat you are. I want people to see it.”

Felix smiled back, feeling a closeness with Hendrix he had never experienced in a relationship before. Sometimes it seemed like it was the two of them versus the entire world. He nodded as Hendrix planted a loving kiss on the top of his head. “Alright then,” he sighed. “I guess we’re really doing this…”

A few hours later, the two men tumbled through the apartment door, wrapped around each other and desperately trying to remove their clothes in a fit of steamy lust. The meeting couldn’t have gone worse and, consequently, it could not have inflamed both their kinks more. Felix’s parents had been in complete shock at the size of their boy, referring to Felix as a ‘fat pig��� and a ‘fatty.’ They’d been disgusted at how much Felix had ordered to eat and had called Hendrix out as they could see him trying to slyly push more food onto their son. Hendrix had loved every second of it, agreeing with them that he enjoyed the shape of Felix’s body and even thanking them for raising a son with such a hearty appetite. For the first time, Felix had let himself go in front of them, feeling strong with Hendrix by his side. The shock and horror on the older couple’s faces when Hendrix had told them about their musing about getting married. It wasn’t enough that they staunchly disagreed with gay men getting married, but the idea of their boy tethering himself to a feeder had almost sent them into a blind panic, leaving the table just as the main course was arriving.

The two men had stayed behind, with Felix quietly coached into consuming both of his parents’ meals as they further discussed the idea of getting married should Hendrix get the dream job he wanted in Seattle. All that eating, the talk of commitment and the exciting plans; it had sent them both into a spiralling horniness that could not be undone. The failed catch-up with Felix’s folks had proven one thing: they needed to live their lives for themselves, and no one else.

Back at the bar a few weeks later, the distrust of Hendrix had never been more apparent. Despite throwing the rug from under them by announcing that he was leaving town, the fact that he was taking Felix with him, and had even become engaged to him had completely thrown them all. At last, they could see what they had been a part of. Hendrix had never really cared about the things that had gone on before he arrived, He’d simply been riding a wave that had allowed him complete freedom to get his kicks in exactly the same way Felix had in the past.

Everyone had been polite, despite the many things that they may have been muttering to themselves under their breath as Felix’s ass crack and underbelly became more and more visible as the beers went down. One thing was for certain: these two freaks deserved each other. 

“No regrets?” Hendrix asked, finally sitting himself down next to Felix on their new couch, overlooking the Seattle skyline from the large window.

“None,” beamed Felix back.

The pair kissed sweetly before Hendrix pulled out his cell phone. “Well then, I guess it’s time to start trying out some of these new take out places,” he chuckled. “Buckle up, Fat Boy! You’re in for a tough few weeks ahead!”

[dcandmarvelimagines]

sweeter than you ever knew. (pt. 1)

Series: pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 Pairing: Wade Wilson x Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6.8k Warnings: AFAB reader (uses she/her pronouns), 1st person POV, non-mutant Reader, some blood, Wade being too flirty for his own good, vaginal fingering, bathroom sex, dirty talking, the relationship with Logan is a "slow" burn in comparison. More smut to come, I swear. Author's note: Damn...it's been a while huh? My last comic related fic was in 2018, funny enough also because of a Deadpool movie. I was already sappy in a post before so I wont subject y'all to it. But this was intended to be a short little oneshot and has absolutely ballooned out of control. I'm thinking this will end up being five chapters. I will upload the second chapter concurrently with my ao3 upload, so if you prefer to read there, feel free! Also as a little aside: I am so unbelievably sorry that the reader's job working in outreach to help Al is barely described and is probably highly inaccurate. I was desperate not to get lost in the weeds of research on the subject. I needed something that would keep the reader out of the apartment most of the time and let the relationship grow differently, so neighbors was out of the question. If you work in community outreach (absolute angel), please just avert your eyes.

I used to think my life was boring. It was the same day in, day out. I never met anyone interesting or experienced new things. That changed when I knocked on an unassuming apartment door in a dingy building.

I worked in government outreach, providing assistance to elderly blind clients. I had been assigned to work with Althea Sanderson. Her file had listed her as combative and she didn’t disappoint. She absolutely hated my guts at first, grumbling about how she just needed her “disco dust” to keep going. She assured me that she had roommates and didn’t need me “thundering” around her small apartment. 

For nearly two weeks, I thought her mind had to have been slipping, because no one else would come from that apartment besides me. Imagine my shock when I walked into the place and found a hulking mass of a man, only in his boxers, in the kitchen. His brown hair, streaked with white, was wet after a shower and he was half heartedly rubbing at his shoulder with a towel covered in sparkly unicorns. “Who the hell are you?” He snapped, voice gruff. He glared at me like I had personally insulted him by my mere presence. My eyes darted all over him, the thick ropes of muscles in his arms, the harsh planes of abs, the thin sheen of dark hair on his chest, the trail disappearing into his boxers. The man yanked the fridge door open and snapped me from my drooling. 

I had barely stumbled my name out before Al, as she insisted I call her when she realized I wasn’t going anywhere, came around the corner, her hands guiding her along the wall. “Leave her alone Logan. She’s like herpes and I can’t get rid of her.” My lips pursed at the comparison. The man, Logan, huffed with either annoyance or laughter before padding away, beer clutched in his hand. For how big he was, I was shocked at how light on his feet he was. In comparison, I really did thunder around. 

“Oh! Do we have a new roomie!?” The voice trembled in excitement. Its owner bounded around the corner, clad only in low slung sweatpants, nearly tripping over the scraggly dog at his feet. I drew back, sucking in a sharp breath. The new man was no less tall than the other, but lean in comparison, with a wide chest and firm arms. But I was far more distracted by his skin. It was a mixture of mottled pink and white, looking more like swirled bacon fat than anything else. He was completely hairless but I saw the skin of his forehead rise. “Al, you didn’t say you had a hot granddaughter!” 

“Oh I’m not,” I said. While I was scheduled to be here for four hours, I was already contemplating how to escape the suddenly cramped apartment. 

“Does she look like she’s related to me dick for brains?” Al growled at him. The man shrugged, a megawatt smile plastered on his face as he picked up the dog and let it lick at his face. 

“She has the same wild sexual energy you do, my sweet black Betty White.” He walked closer, carelessly dropping the dog into Al’s lap just as she lowered herself into a creaky chair. The man theatrically bowed, snagging my hand to press a too wet kiss to my knuckles. His skin was unbelievably soft as it held mine, the grip light enough that I could pull away at any moment. “Wade Winston Wilson.” 

He was so close to me that I took a half step back. I gave him my name, just my first, and wriggled my hand free. “Um, I'm assuming your Al’s roommates?”

“Roommates is such a safe for work word, I prefer to be her personal pommel horse.” A laugh bubbles up before I can stop it. Wade grinned at the sound and shit, his face softened in such a charming way that I felt my defenses come down just a little. 

“I don’t think you understand what a pommel horse is.” 

“Isn’t it something you ride? Get all flexable on?” 

After that first awkward day, all four of us fell into an easy routine. Al seemed to warm to me more, though her sharp tongue never faltered. Wade was a vibrating ball of energy whenever I came over. He bounced around the kitchen as I made Al her coffee or insisted I sit with them to watch Golden Girls . I came to realize that only his right hand was so soft, the left was scratchy and blistered, which was something I refused to think about any deeper. Logan remained standoffish and reserved but he was there when I needed a break from Wade’s constant talking. I would occasionally find him sitting on the fire escape, smoking the cigar that seemed permanently stuck to his fingers. We often just sat in silence while Wade and Al argued about Ikea furniture. 

I had always found their schedule strange. They would disappear for days, sometimes weeks, at a time with no rhyme or reason. I had originally thought they might be businessmen but Logan’s quick temper and Wade’s obnoxious energy clashed with the idea. Wade often talked about going to exotic places and had brought me back a diamond that he swears up and down is not only real, but is also the tip of a woman’s finger. 

The day I found out their real profession had started horribly. The train line to Al’s apartment had broken, so I had to take a cab there. I was flustered, hungry, and in desperate need of caffeine when I trudged up the five flights of stairs to Al’s apartment, because, of course , her elevator had broken. It was customary for me to knock twice, allowing Al to respond before I used my key to come in. Today, my knocks were much shorter. “Good morning Al,” I called, slipping into the door before turning to close and lock it. I spun and nearly screamed. 

“Oh hey,” Wade said, leaning against the wall of the kitchen, a mug clutched in his hand. I was far more distracted by three massive claw marks across his chest, blood oozing down his stomach, staining his plaid underwear. 

“Oh my god! Wade!” My keys and purse clattered to the floor as I rushed to him, bracing my hands against his chest. “What happened?! Holy shit, oh fuck.” I was babbling now, distracted by how sticky and hot the blood was. But his chest rumbled under my shaking hands. I glanced up and saw a smile on his face as he failed to contain his laughter. “What are you fucking laughing at?! You’re dying here and you're laughing?!” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear. Miss good samaritan knows such nasty words.” I tried never to swear around patients but this was a worst fucking case scenario. 

“Oh fuck off! You’re dying and you're laughing ‘cause I said a bad word?!” That only seemed to make him laugh harder. 

“Calm down sweetheart,” came a rough voice behind me. Logan had started to call me that more often, but it always felt like he was insulting me with the word. It usually had a stinge of annoyance laced around it, now was no different. “He’s fine.” I peaked over my shoulder, hands still pressed against Wade’s firm chest, about to argue with the other man about how un fine Wade was. I nearly screamed again. A knife was embedded into Logan’s shoulder. There was blood everywhere . On his bare chest, his face, his hands and arms. 

“Logan!” I wanted to reach for him but couldn’t without leaving Wade to bleed out. 

“Now peanut,” Wade cooed and slid out from under my touch. “I told you, baby knife is just for the bedroom.” With that, Wade yanked the knife from Logan’s shoulder. The spurt of blood made my head woozy and I gripped the counter to hold myself steady. Logan barely reacted to the five inch blade being ripped from his skin, just a small grunt. 

“What’s going on?” My voice was thick with confusion. They had clearly been mauled and attacked in their own home, yet they walked around like nothing traumatizing had just happened.

“Target practice,” Wade said, using a kitchen towel to clean baby knife. Logan turned and dropped on the worn couch, the springs screeching in protest. 

“What?” I grabbed at his wrist before he could walk away. “Wade, please, I hope you understand how jarring that was. Now, please explain and cut all the punny bullshit out.” Wade pressed a dramatic hand to his chest like I had insulted him. 

“We’re mutants.” My eyebrows knitted together as I stalked toward the living room. Logan sat there, whiskey already in hand. He seemingly hid a bottle everywhere. Wade followed behind before collapsing on top of Logan. The older man snapped his jaws like an animal and a little snarl escaped his throat. Wade grinned, tugged at his hair, before going to the other end of the couch. 

“Mutants? Like the X-Men?” The scowl Logan shot me turned my blood to ice. Some of that shock must have shown on my face because Logan glanced away, taking a hefty swig of whiskey, and Wade tugged at my bloody pinky. 

“Ignore him, the X-men are a touchy subject for him, and never touchy in the fun way.” He scratched at his chest, some of the blood smudging. The skin was…

“You’re healed?” I knelt before the couch, hands feeling his chest. “Holy shit I thought you were going to bleed out.” It was impossible. The wounds were deep , I could have sworn I saw bone before. 

“God I’ve thought about you kneeling there for so long.” Logan’s fist cracked into Wade’s arm. My hands flinched away and I quickly stood. “Hurtful peanut. You know my arms always take too long to heal.” 

“Stop being a fucking creep,” Logan hissed. I turned to him and saw that the wound in his shoulder was also gone. Without thinking, I bent to touch the smooth skin, as if I couldn’t believe it without feeling it as well. Logan went still under my touch. I knew Wade didn’t mind the physical contact, he practically threw himself at me whenever I was around, but Logan was always just out of reach. I was too frazzled to think correctly anymore. 

“So you can heal,” I mumbled. 

“Very fast,” Wade said. He grabbed the remote and clicked on the tv. 

“You can stop touching me now sweetheart.” Once again, I snatched my hands back with a mumbled sorry , a faint flush burning my cheeks. 

“Comes in real handy with our line of work.” Wade was bouncing his leg, the couch squeaking under him. Logan’s hand shot out to still him, knuckles showing white for a moment. Wade winced and I heard another snap.

“Which is…?”

Logan answered for me, “mercenaries.” 

“Oh,” I plopped down on the rickety coffee table. The information settled like a lead weight in my stomach. My first instinct was fear. They killed people for money. Would they then turn on me now? Curiosity tugged at me as well. I couldn’t explain it but there was something so magnetic about them. The edge of danger had always been there, especially with Logan. I would have never guessed it was this. Ever since I first met them, I knew I would be fascinated. I guess I had my answer as to why they were as fit as models. “How come I’ve never seen anything? Do you guys not have…guns or whatever?” 

“He didn’t want to scare you.” Logan jabbed his thumb Wade’s way. I cocked my head at Wade, a tiny smile pulling at my lips. He actually looked a little bashful. 

“I’ve found that women don’t always respond very positively to my intestines hanging out.” My stomach flipped and I sat a little straighter. 

“Has that happened?” 

“No, but a fortune teller told me it will happen when I least expect it.” He stood with an excited jump, moving to stand in front of a small closet. There was only a faint limp in his movement. As he walked, I became incredibly aware that both men were nearly naked, only clad in thin boxers. With every step, Wade’s well defined back flexed and his legs tensed. I only allowed myself a moment to take him in before I drew my gaze away. He turned and flung the door open with flourish. “Behold! My batcave!” I glanced inside, and found a tall gun case, massive stacks of ammo, and two katanas balanced against a red suit. There was a yellow one tucked next to it as well. “Mine is the red one, a very flattering color I assure you.” 

“The yellow one is yours?” Logan just gives me a curt nod. His face is stone again, clearly done with this conversation. “Do you use any of that?” I ask, motioning to the “batcave”, whatever the hell that means. 

Snikt.  

“Woah,” I whispered. The three blades protruding from between his knuckles were shiny and looked wicked sharp. I leaned forward and pressed the pad of my thumb against the middle blade. It immediately split the skin and a drop of blood oozed down my skin. Logan watched my warily, like I was liable to jump on the claws at any moment. “Do they hurt?” There were small beads of blood around where they had pierced through his skin. With a flex of his veiny forearm, the claws disappeared. The blades slid smoothly between the bones on the back of his hand.

“Yeah, everytime.” I watch his skin knit itself together again with rapt attention. Once it finished, I ran my injured thumb over the regrown skin, our blood smearing a thick stripe across his knuckles. Logan’s hand was relaxed as I held it. Wade flopped back onto the couch, his head in Logan’s lap, baby knife clutched in his hands. Logan seemed resigned, face relaxing just a bit, and allowed Wade to rest. He withdrew his hand from mine before resting his arm across Wade’s neck. The motion was surprisingly domestic and it made my heart warm. Behind me, the Golden Girls theme played. 

“Isn’t Al in danger with you two here? Don’t you have enemies that could find her?” The briefest sad expression flashed across Wade’s face. I stood suddenly, “oh my god where is she? Did someone already grab her and that’s why you were fucked up?” 

“She’s fine, probably wandering the streets or whatever women of her age do,” Wade made a dismissive wave of his hand. 

“Wade!” I stepped on his foot in my mad dash to my fallen purse. I needed my phone to do…something. Call someone? The phone call would sound ridiculous. Hi, I help a blind woman and her two mutant roommates are mercenaries and got her kidnapped. Yeah, totally believable. I had just snatched my bag up when the door opened and Al herself appeared. 

“Fucking Jesus,” she snapped as she ran into me. My body sagged in relief at seeing her. I gripped her shoulders, just to make sure she was actually there. 

“Oh my god Al, don’t fucking scare my like that.” Her hands flew up and shook out from my touch. 

“Well you were late!” I wasn’t. “Are those two done fucking yet?” I twisted to look at the men on the couch. Logan was half way out the window to smoke. I could have sworn I saw him lick at his bloody knuckles. Wade was studying me, the hint of a challenge in his eyes, daring me to say something about their relationship. I smiled, hoping it let him know I didn’t care. But that easy look might have been ruined when pieces fell together. The knife. The three slashes to Wade’s chest. Their near nakedness. 

Huh.

“Uh yeah Al, I think I ruined the mood for them.” She scoffed and shoved a grocery bag into my hands. I dutifully turned to the kitchen and began to store away the random assortment of items. She guided herself over to the coffee maker and began to load the grounds into a filter. 

“I think you are one of the biggest things that puts them in the mood honey.” I heard a growl float in from the window. 

Wade and Logan stopped avoiding me after finding out their true occupation. It never got any easier seeing their bloody bodies strew around the apartment. I slipped on enough stray bullets that I learned to watch my feet. Wade was always cleaning his guns with a concentration I didn’t think he was capable of. One night he forced me to sit down, offering his lap first and whimpered pitifully when I took the chair, and made me hold the gun, showing me how to cock it and flick the safety on and off. The name Chekhov was stamped across the side in shiny gold letters. “Do I really need to know this?” He leaned closer, cheek pressed to mine. His warm hands slid over my own, guiding me to a button that would pop the magazine out and helped me click it back into place. He had grown much bolder in his touching and I couldn’t bring myself to stop him anymore.

“Never know when you’ll need to flip the badass switch.” His bubbly finger tapped the glittering name for emphasis. I shifted in my seat to face him, my lips ghosting over his cheek. He followed my lead and our noses brushed. 

“I didn’t think I would need that with you around.” A beat passed as we looked at each other. There was something soft in his eyes that made my heart clench. “You’re going to protect me, right?” It wouldn’t take much to lean closer, to finally kiss him. I knew he was thinking the same thing and my eyelids fluttered closed in anticipation. 

The alarm for my Al’s meds broke the moment. 

I knew I was sliding into a sticky situation. I found myself staying later and later, well past my shift with Al had ended. It was absolutely forbidden for me to become involved with clients. The excuse that they weren’t technically my clients wouldn’t work on my boss. I needed to make a decision. Either stop working with Al or end any attachment to Wade, and Logan by extension. 

***

I’m not sure how Wade and I ended up on that date. He and Logan had been away on a job for a week. It was finally peaceful in the apartment but I couldn’t lie to myself, I had missed them. So I didn’t fight Wade too much when he asked “nicely”, aka demanded , he tag along while I ran errands for Al. She was the last person I had to visit for the day so I allowed him to drag me to a bar after I dropped her meds off. Logan had a dark look in his eyes when he saw Wade clutch my hand. “The old man is just jealous. He wishes someone would take him out, but he doesn’t do well in crowds, very bitey.” I smirked and let Wade choose our destination. His hand was steady around mine, giving it occasional squeezes as we rushed across busy streets. The bar he picked was properly seedy, full to the brim with haggard men with face tattoos. Normally, I would have run screaming from a place like this. But Wade was clearly well liked. He moved through the room, smiling and waving at everyone. He tried introducing me to some people but it was hard to keep their names straight. We found an empty booth tucked behind the row of pool tables. I eased onto the sticky laminate bench as Wade headed to the bar to get our drinks. I listen to the men next to my seat argue over who was supposed to break for their next game of pool while I waited. 

Wade returned with my drink, a neon green one for him, and two small shot glasses. I eyed them suspiciously as he passed me one of the whipped cream topped shots. “I thought it was only right to start our date with a blowjob.” I coughed on my laugh, examining the glass. He tapped his against mine before downing it and I followed his lead. It was pure sugar, nearly masking the burn of the alcohol. 

“Whoever made this has clearly never given a blow job. Way too sweet.” Wade grinned in that mischievous way he always seemed to when he was going to be especially gross. I had no idea why I was being so forward. But I felt light, happy. All my worries from work had melted away as Wade held my hand on our way here.

“Oh yeah? I’ve been told my cum is rather delicious. It’s all the pineapple I eat.” I rolled my eyes and matched his grin, propping my elbows on the table, head cradled between my hands. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat a single fruit. Or a vegetable honestly.” Wade copied my pose, fluttering his nonexistent eyelashes. 

“How about you taste mine and I taste yours?” I pretended to contemplate, eyes scrunching, head tilting from side to side. My hand inched across the table before I plucked the cherry from Wade’s drink. He saw me, I could tell by the minute flick of his gaze, but he let me take it regardless. I yanked it from the stem with my teeth and chewed thoughtfully. 

“Hm, I’m not sure. Don’t you think Al would talk if you were moaning my name so much?” He grabbed my wrist and dragged my hand closer. My breath caught as his lips enveloped my index finger and thumb. His tongue lazed over them before he drew back, the cherry stem between his teeth. 

“Sweetie pie, I moan it enough as is.” I blushed and my stomach grew warm. The stem disappeared, his jaw moving. “I haven’t been able to convince the old bastard to dress like you yet. But he lets me pretend.” I took a big gulp of my drink and glanced away. The patrons were starting to get more boisterous. Their shouts echoed off the peeling wallpapered walls as they called for more rounds or catcalled some of the working girls. I watched as a pretty blonde walked off with two men. Would Wade and Logan take turns? Or would they pin me between them, spreading me open on both of their- “Jealous?” My head whorled back to him but only found a knowing glint in his eyes. 

“Shut up,” I growled and took another deep drink. Wade’s tongue lolled out, in the center was a perfectly knotted stem. I shifted in my seat. This was not how I had intended the night to go. I wanted just a drink, conversation, and then home for a long awaited rest. But here I was, squirming at the mere sight of Wade’s tongue. “Impressive,” I mumbled. I reached across the table and plucked the stem from him. It looked like he was going for another kiss but my hand drew back too fast.

“I know it’s impressive. Just spelling out my name gets it all twisted like that.” I rolled my eyes with a smirk. 

“You didn't strike me as a guy who would spell his name out. I thought you might be a little more creative.” He leaned closer, eyes just a bit too wide. 

“Oh? What were you imagining I would do? I have a lot of skills and I’ll use them all on you.” Damn it . I finished off my drink and the booze buzzed down my body as it settled inside me. A small voice in my head reminded me that I needed to pick. That if I went down this road with Wade, I needed to stop visiting Al. But fuck, I craved the feeling of his hands on me. I dreamt of him and Logan anytime I saw them. My brain became more and more depraved as the weeks went on. I could barely look at them sometimes without blushing. 

“Wade,” I sighed, twirling my straw in the slowly melting ice. “If we do anything, I have to stop working with Al. It’s a conflict of-“ he held a scarred hand up and my voice died away. 

“No work talk. It’s Friday, let me show you a good time.” I sighed again but nodded. 

The night passed blissfully. Wade was a strangely great date, much better than any guy I’ve been with recently. He asked me a million questions, ranging from my childhood, food allergies, to my favorite Mexican food. He gave me half joke responses about his own childhood, but gave me enthusiastic answers to everything else . He bought me another drink after he finished his but I was careful to sip mine slowly. The last thing I needed was a hangover. He also brought some greasy fries and I dove into them gratefully. We played one round of pool, which he won by only a few points. Then he promptly annihilated me in darts. “So unfair,” I groaned. “You do this for a living, I would have never won.” 

“I thought you being sexy would distract me enough. Strip, then you’ll win.” I had that pleasant buzz running through me so his words just made me giggle. 

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that.” I held up my hand to cut off his next words. “Not now you horny bastard.” He pouted, lip stuck a full inch off his face. I playfully plucked at it. “Pout all you want. You gotta put more effort in to get me naked.” 

That was perhaps the wrong choice of words because he bent down, his lips colliding with mine. I gasped but grabbed at his sweatshirt, clinging to him. He kissed like he wanted to eat me, all tongue and spit. He tasted as sweet as candy from the bright cocktails he had. It made my head swirl, skin heat. His hands moved to my hips and traced the sliver of exposed skin before they dove into my back pockets, and jerked me closer. I moaned into him as I felt the hard ridge in his pants pressed against my hip. The few whoops from our onlookers made me pause. “Probably not the best place.” Wade’s voice was a little husky, lips still close enough to mine that they moved with his words. 

“No,” I mumbled. But neither of us disentangled from each other. “I should probably go home.” Wade sighed and straightened. He nodded, tucking a loose lock of hair behind my ear. 

“Fuck you look gorgeous.” His voice was barely audible under the conversations and the music. I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off. “I gotta hit the head then I’ll take you home.” He removed my hands from his sweatshirt, but still held one as he guided me to where the bathrooms were, situated at the end of a long hallway. “Wait here, don’t get too many men drooling over you.” Once he disappeared into the men’s room, I let out a breath. He was overwhelming, equal parts sweet, filthy, and ridiculous. The last thing I wanted to do was be responsible. To go home and ignore all the things he made me feel. I had already gone too far, what were a couple more steps? I bit at my thumb nail and watched the bathrooms intently. I didn’t see any women come or go into theirs. I scanned the bar and only found a handful of them. I knew I would have it mostly to myself. 

Cautiously, as if I was somehow breaking a law, I walked down and into the women’s bathroom. It was empty, mostly clean, and smelled fine. Which I’m sure is more than I could say about the men’s. I propped myself against the wall in the hallway, waiting for Wade to emerge again. Two men passed before I saw him. “Aw, I don’t need an escort out of this creepy hallway.” I roughly grabbed his shirt, and backed into the still empty bathroom. “Oh wow, the promised land.” 

I slammed him against the door, far too rough from nerves, but his face lit up nevertheless, a little excited laugh escaping him. “How about you show me those skills you talked about, yeah? Consider this a trial period before I let you fuck my brains out.” He didn’t need to be told twice. He hauled my body tight against his, lips crashing against mine again. This time, I gave into his kisses completely, his teeth tugging at my lips. There was a pinch of pain each time but it only made me claw at his neck harder. Judging by the groan he let out, I think I broke through skin. His tongue prodded its way into my mouth and I moaned loudly against him. His hands slid all over my body before they hooked behind my knees and he carried me to the counter. He lifted me like I weighed nothing. My head was beginning to grow fuzzy from our kiss but I refused to part, greedily sucking air from him instead. 

Wade was the first to rear back, gulping down lungfuls of air. I wanted to drag him back and kiss him till I was lightheaded again. “Goddamn woman,” he mumbled. I just hummed, moving my desperate kisses to his jaw. My hands crawled up his shirt and littered his torso with scratches. He leaned closer, my head hitting the mirror behind me, as he gripped my hips and dragged me flush against him. My legs curled around his waist, craving the feeling of his hard cock against me. 

“Wade,” I whined while I ground my hips against his. I found a particularly sensitive spot just below his ear that made him rasp my name. He cupped the back of my neck, leading me back to his greedy mouth. His thumb brushed along my jaw before his fingers delicately laid across my throat. I arched my neck to give his hand better access to the column of muscle. But his hands slipped from me entirely so he could shove my shirt over my breasts. He buried his face between them, peppering the skin with long, sucking kisses. “ Wade,” I moaned, hips bucking desperately against him, “I need you to fuck me.” His hand went to my jeans, pulling the button free and easing the zipper down. I yelped when his teeth captured a bit of flesh and bit down, hard . But the sting of pain only made me crave him more. Finally his hand plunged under my jeans and into my underwear. 

“So wet all ready,” he hummed, biting at more of my skin. He drifted over my clit in loose, but firm circles. With his free hand, he worked the cup of my bra down and captured my nipple in his mouth. I thursted against his hand in an attempt to get him to do more, to bend me over this sink and fuck me like I knew he wanted to. Instead, he traced the tip of his finger over my entrance and had the nerve to chuckle when I tried to force it inside. 

“ Jesus, Wade , stop teasing me.” My voice was airy, tinged with desire. His teeth glanced across my nipple and I nearly wailed. “Wade!” My nails went to his head and dug into his scalp, heels digging into his ass in annoyance. 

“I love the way you say my name, pretty girl.” His finger drove into me, pumping in and out quickly. He sucked one last bruise onto the top of my breast before he was kissing and licking back up my neck. 

“ More , Wade,” I panted, “you aren’t going to break me.” He laughed, the sound sending goosebumps across my feverish skin. Another finger worked its way into me and my eyes rolled back at the stretch, a sigh catching in my throat.  His thumb moved into more controlled figure eights. My legs trembled around him as he crooked his fingers inside, hunting for that spongy spot inside me. “Wade, oh fuck.” 

“God you moan so nice for daddy Wade.” Something between a laugh and a sob of pleasure bubbled up from my chest. Heat oozed through my body, settled deep in my stomach. 

“I’m not gonna call you that. Ah, keeping doing that, so good.” 

“Are you going to call Logan daddy when he makes you wiggle like this?” He found his mark and stroked the spot deep inside me with complete focus. My hips bore down on his hand, chasing for the orgasm I sensed. “ Aww seems like you like the idea. You’re sucking me in so much.” He bit more bruises on my neck, tongue lapping at the skin after to soothe the ache. “I can’t wait to see you stretched on his big dick.” 

I whimper, the tension inside me near breaking point. “Yours first.” The coil finally snapped. My eyes squeezed shut as a stream of his name and half gasps fell from my chapped lips. His free hand pinned my hip to the counter to stop its wild jerks. He scattered soft kisses across my face and cheeks as he worked me through my orgasm. It seemed to last an eternity and the waves of bliss made my body tingly. 

Eventually, my body relaxed and slumped against the mirror, chest heaving. Wade’s fingers remained in me, lazily plunging inside. Now that the haze had passed, I could hear just how wet I was. The lewd noises echo off the cramped bathroom’s tiles. “Wade,” I mumbled, tugging weakly at his wrist. “You should get to fucking me now.” 

“ Ew , how about you guys don’t. Do you know how dirty it is in here?” I jumped at the voice, scrambling to cover myself. Wade shifted himself to block me from view as I did. His fingers withdrew with a pop that made my face heat even more. The woman idly scrolled on her phone to give us privacy. My bra was fixed, shirt back over my chest, in record time. 

Wade was fine to let us wait it seemed. His sticky fingers lingered on my stomach, running over the curves and stretch marks, before he buttoned up my pants. “Okay sugar bean, let’s get you home.” He helped me off the counter, my weak legs wobbling just a bit. He kept his firm arm around me for support anyways. I had half a mind to think it was just to keep touching me. I didn’t mind and leaned into his side, head against his chest. 

The night was cool, the slight bite of oncoming autumn in the crisp air, and I breathed it in. My head felt clearer with each one. I went to pull away first, to tell him that I would see him on Monday, but he kept walking. “Where are we going?” 

“Gonna take you home.” I blinked. 

“How do you know this is the way to my place?” He made a noncommittal noise and shrugged. 

“Is some light stalking a turn off?” I knew I was crazy, absolutely insane, because all I did was beam up at him and cling closer. We made our way to my apartment in long winding segments. First the train where he pulled my legs over his and kissed at my wind whipped cheeks. Then a stop at a late night burger chain where Wade promptly drowned his in ketchup. We walked slowly to my apartment, hand in hand. Exhaustion had finally reached me and my feet dragged behind me. The night had only grown colder, breath misting in front of our faces. I was wearing a light jacket as I anticipated being home before the drop in temperature. I drew Wade’s arm closer, pressing it against my chest, clinging to the bit of heat. “You know, if we were both naked you would be warmer.” I rolled my eyes. 

“That’s absolutely not how that works. Also, my place is just around the corner.” We only had to walk a few more steps before I saw the familiar entrance to my apartment. Wade followed me to my door, leaning against the rail, waiting for me to fish my keys out of my purse. Once I had them in hand, I also tugged my phone from my pocket. “I don’t have your number.” I oddly felt shy, like this was too much of a leap. It felt more official like this. When I held it out for him, he took it eagerly, fingers tapping quickly. Then he kept typing. I peered down at my phone and saw him adding information for Asshole GILF, surrounded by an assortment of hearts. Quite frankly, I didn’t even know Logan had a phone, I had never seen him with it. 

My stomach dropped when I saw Wade open a conversation with Logan and began typing. I was only able to read the words horny and get it up before I snatched my phone back. “Oh my god Wade!” I rapidly deleted the text, refusing to read anymore of his nonsense sexting. “I would prefer Logan to not think I’m trying to jump his bones.” 

“Aw come on! Live a little. Logan loves people who come on too strong, especially on his face.”  

“I think you are probably the exception, Wade. Logan doesn’t seem to want much to do with me.” His cold palms cupped my cheeks and drew me closer. 

“I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, just you and me, yeah?” I nod, arms encircling his waist. The warmth of his chest spread into mine. “Logan dreams about you. He growls your name. He humps me in his sleep like a teenage boy. Then he wakes up and fucks me for hours.” My face heated at his words. I could feel him getting hard against my hip. “He wants you so bad it makes him crazy.” He pushed against me, just the slightest bit. “ I want you so bad it makes me crazy.” I realized that I never repaid the favor at the bar before being interrupted. 

“Do you want to come upstairs?” Wade smirked, kissing the apples of each cheek then my nose. 

“No, I’m gonna surprise Logan. He’ll go nuts when he smells you on me.” I blinked in confusion. I didn’t smell that bad, did it? “He has enhanced senses,” he explained. “He’ll be able to smell your cum on my fingers from outside the apartment.” 

“Oh god,” I mumbled, stuck between embarrassment and arousal. “Okay, well, don’t keep Al up.” 

“She has ear muffs.” I shook my head, chuckling at the absurdity. Wade pecked at my lips but didn’t allow me more. “Goodnight baby girl. Make sure you text me so I know who you are. So many crazy fangirls, you wouldn’t believe it.” 

“Uh huh,” I teased, finding the key fob for my building. Wade left one lingering kiss on my forehead before giving me a nudge toward my door. The scanner beeped, door releasing with a click. I wedged the door open before it could lock again. “Goodnight, see you Monday.” I blew him a kiss before the door clicked behind me as I went to the elevator. I reached for my phone and searched for Wade in my contact list. Of course I found him listed as Bootycall . Instead of solely hearts, his name was circled by eggplants and hearts. 

Me: you have to send me a picture for your profile. I could have missed you 

The elevator dinged and the door slid open. I traced my usual route to my apartment, jiggling the lock open with my key. My phone buzzed on the counter as I set it down to toe off my shoes and hang my coat up. 

Bootycall: once I’m done with Logan, I’ll send pictures for the both of us. 

Bootycall: Do you have other fuckbuddies? How could you? We should be the only ones for you

I woke up late the next day to two pictures. One was blurry, but the brown hair and a pointy white tooth told me it was Logan. It seemed Wade had tried to sneak it and was caught. The picture of Wade nearly made me faint. Pearly white beads of cum were splattered across his face and dripped off his exposed tongue. 

Me: I can’t possibly make that your contact picture

Bootycall: you’re right! Make it your background!

[itskybabes-blog]

Duke Dennis Drabble

Duke Dennis x fem!reader (no face claim but poc!reader friendly)

Part two: The Confession

Disclaimer: this is written by a dyslexic person – please forgive any grammar and spelling errors

TW: swearing, drinking and using derogatory language

Plot: After your big night at an AMP pool part (that you probs won’t remember tomorrow), you finally let your lil’ secret slip.

Word count: 672

ICYMI: part one

“What the fuck am I doing?” You slurred back in confusion. “What the fuck are you doing?”

You rise up from the bed and try to point your finger at him, but stumble forward because you was unaware of your own strength. Duke has to catch you before your pearly whites were scattered all over his floor.

“See, man,” Duke whines with you in his arms, “this is what I’m talking about”.

You move out his arms and squint your eyes at him, trying to focus on all three of him at once.

“Y/N, you can’t stand up straight. You got yourself stupid drunk and started twerking on everyone. Your nipple was fucking hanging out like you’s some fucking whore or sum,” Duke rants.

“Whore?!” – you sober up real quick – “You’re calling me a whore?” you exclaim back, shoving finger quotation marks in his face.

“Meanwhile, you’re here, throwing this stupid party full of thirsty clout-chasing bimbos who only wanna suck your dick, get your Ps and cut! Fucking lodging your tongue down some random girl’s face – you’d be lucky to not have herpes, right now!” You lay into him, using whatever left over competence you have. Dutch courage is certainly real.

“Whore?” You said again, this time with a soft chuckle - which we all know is not good. Duke knows you found nothing funny but couldn’t care because “you’re a fucking embarrassment!”

“Oh my fucking gosh, more fucking names,” you said with a dramatic sigh. You begin to pace around: “What else am I? A slut? A bitch? What else am I, Duke? Tell me!”

You end up in a couple centimetres away from Duke with a face full of fire and push him weakly (pathetically) away from her. His look of disgust softens – maybe he was being a little harsh.

So, he takes the punk move: “You know what, I don’t care. This is not even worth it, man. Fucking drunk!”

That one snapped a heartstring. Duke’s back faces you as he had his hand on the knob.

“You don’t care? You never cared about me, did you?” You come back at him.

“What?” He looked back, utterly confused you’d ever say that.

“You never fucking cared. I’m meant to be someone special to you – your best friend – and you only ever want me around when you don’t have a fuck buddy around. When you need a girl to make you look good when your hotline hoe ain’t picking up,” you start to spew some of your deep feelings.

Duke lets go of the handle and leans against the door. “Y/N, I-“

“You don’t fucking care about me. I fucking hop on a 2-hour flight weekly to see your ass and look all pretty for your stream. Then, you kick me out to entertain a next bitch, passing me off to the rest of the bros like I’m some community hoe. You never fucking cared about me. You never fucking did. You-“

“Are you jealous?” Duke saunters back to you, grinning. His diamond grill playing tricks with your hooded eyes.

“Huh? Where you get that from?” You feel your cheeks burn, turning your head to the side.

“As a friend, you care too much about my roster,” Duke tries to explain. He drops his head to try and make you look him in the eye, but you keep avoiding his accusatory gaze.

“You talking like we fucking or sum,” Duke continues to press you.

“Why would I want you, like, what? Like, that’s- Ha! Ewwww,” you try to act repulsed but you never got an A in drama. Your acting skills are subpar.

“Oh, OK. Just know: I’d drop my roster just for you.”

Your head whips around and look Duke square in his face. A goofy and toothy smile plasters across his face.

“You fucking play too fucking much. You can’t be trying to tease me and shit. Why would I fucking want you? You never cared about me before, why the fuck no-“ Duke’s pillowy lips press intensely on yours.

“Girl, shut up.”

“Yes, sir.”

A/N: here’s the second part! Now, I really hate writing smut so pls forgive me but I’m skipping over that. Pls enjoy this quick update :)

[ponderingmoonlight]

Chapter 3: Window of Opportunity

Pairing: Gojo x fem! reader

Warnings: language, Gojo being well Gojo, domestic violence, thank y'all for sharing your experience with me, it helped me so much understanding childhood trauma and made me transform it into this fic <3

Synopsis: Being the daughter of the Zenin clan made it your mission to defeat him. Him, Satoru Gojo, the honored one. Him, who makes your life a living hell. Him, who begins to get so much more than your curse...

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Romance, Hurt to Comfort

<- Previous Chapter l Next Chapter ->

„Oh, did you say something? I can’t understand you when you’re crying like a baby”, you purr as the eyes of the man who writhes in front of you like a little worm fill with tears of sheer fear.

Your grin grows wider and wider, satisfaction filling you to the brim. Maybe that mission isn’t so bad after all when you’re finally able to use your special abilities again.

While you are a skilled combat fighter, the director strictly forbids you to use Phobia Projection against another member of Jujutsu High since your former classmate almost hung himself because of it. You roll your eyes out of instinct.

As if it was his fault that his mind is so damn weak.

“I know he tried to kill us a few seconds ago. But don’t you think you’re going a little too harsh on him, (y/n)?”, Geto questions while manspreading the whole couch and eying you up and down.

“I’m not harsh on him. He’s seeing his own fears, I have nothing to do with that”, you defend yourself with a casual shoulder shrug.

How is it your fault that this guy acts like a baby? You let yourself sink next to Geto, watch from afar how the little bug continues to cry out in agony.

Unfortunately, your powers don’t allow you an insight into what your opponents go through. Is his worst fear a spider, a monster, or even worse…a human? Too bad there’s no way to find out since they never tell you afterwards. Maybe you’ll be able to torture it out of him. With a little bit of cutting and a whole lot of punching-

“P-please, make it stop!”, he yells out over and over.

The violent ringing of Geto’s phone rips you out of your chuckling and more than entertaining thoughts with an annoyed groan. Urgh, who the hell is interrupting that wonderful moment?

“Did you beat him already? I hope the dirty Zenin brat wasn’t in the way.”

You don’t have to look at the screen to know who’s calling, pulse rising to the rooftop. It’s him, the white-haired douchebag. Much to your liking, Geto decided it would be best if you accompany him instead of Gojo. But even if you’re not forced to be next to him physically right now, you’re still doing this mission together. Which means that he’s always there – like herpes.

“Spare your stinky breath. We were done before you decided to-“

“HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME!”

“Can you shut the fuck up? I’m having a serious call with a douchebag right now”, you bark at the man rolling on the floor.

“You’re an evil witch”, Gojo comments dryly on the other side of the phone.

“Evil, huh? Well, at least I’m not as dumb as-“

“Can you two just stop? We have him here as well as the vessel. I’ll send you the location. Don’t cause trouble.”

“Tell that this little-“

Oh right, the plasma vessel. You eye the girl lying opposite of you up and down, her dark hair falling into her closed eyes like a curtain. Must be rough, knowing your only reason walking on this planet is the stinging fact that a part of you will get killed within the next years.

How is she different from you, though?

You, with your family pressuring you into pouring your heart and soul into training, who never accepted you despite your heart work. You, who lost a part of herself in the process of forcing the best version of (y/n) onto you. You, who slowly but surely turned into a frightening resemblance of her family’s shadow, crossing a path she never imagined she’d land on as a kid. You sacrificed your smile, your dignity, your heart for the mission to become better than Gojo Satoru.

Aren’t you just like her?

“Hey, are you good?”

The sheer feeling of Geto’s warm hand resting against your shoulder rips you out of your daydreaming immediately.

“I’m not that Gojo weakling. You don’t need to watch over me”, you reply dryly, gifting him with the deadliest side-eye you have in store.

Well, maybe not the deadliest. That gaze is reserved for Naoya and Gojo only.

“Is there a reason apart from Satoru being a member of the Gojo clan why you hate him? I never understood what’s the deal between both of you.

You can’t help but tilt your head to the side, mind going blank for a second. Now that you think of it…Is there really a reason apart from the fact that your family taught you to hate him for your huge dislike? When you two first saw each other that one evening, he was nothing but a nice boy your age through your innocent eyes. A boy with a quite charming smile, who always had a cheeky reply in store. A boy with a strict family himself. Yes, you actually had a lot in common. And to some point, you began to like him in the few minutes you talked to each other.

Until you came back home and realized who exactly you were talking to.

“You did what?”, your father hissed through gritted teeth. 

Another ruthless slap. Blood spilled to the ground, discoloured everything around you crimson. Eyes widen and teary, lips trembling when his flat palm crushed into your face again.

Over and over.

Again and again.

Until you weren’t able to feel your face anymore, eyes so swollen that your vision faded.

“Let me remind you of wrong little thing.”

He grabbed you by the hair Gojo complimented just a few minutes ago roughly and yanked you into the air.

“You are nothing, the biggest disappointment in my whole life. If it was for me, you’d be dead already. But because of your other lousy family members, you get the chance to surpass that Gojo brat. And you?”

Another slap, your feet tangled in the air like a wind chime.

“You actually befriend him. You disgust me, (y/n). And you always will. You’ll never bring honor to your family.”

“He’s himself, that’s enough”, you press out.

“What do we have here, dreaming about me, (y/n)?”

Speaking of the devil. Before you’re even able to accept his existence in the same room, he stands in front of you and grins you down.

That fucker, the reason for your suffering, for the fact that your family doesn’t accept you…

Your hand reacts faster than the rest of your body. A ruthless slap sends Satoru Gojo straight back to reality, echoes through the room without mercy. Your palm begins to burn like hell while your uneven breath hangs in the thick air between both of you.

“What was that, huh?”

He roams closer, his redden skin showing your act of violence way too clearly.

“Who the hell do you think you are, little bitch?”

Your throat begins to tighten uncomfortably, the veins in your arms throbbing in an all too familiar way.

Hatred. You feel nothing but hatred.

“You’d deserve even more than that, asshole”, you bite back.

He’s so close that you’re able to sense the heat radiating from his body and how his breath wanders over your face. You feel like burning alive, so unusual aroused that it’s hard to keep a straight face. Did he always look at you with his lips slightly parted, his eyes glowing like they normally do in serious fights? You are trapped between both of his arms, roasted by his heat, defeated by the way he looks down at you without saying another word.

What is that? And most importantly, do you want it to stop?

You can’t decide for yourself. In the split of a second you find yourself surrounded by broken glass, free fall down from the 15th floor.

Fuck, who’s responsible for this? Did Gojo go this far, would he actually throw you out of a skyscraper just to get rid of you? He might be the biggest asshole walking on this planet, but he’d never do something so damn basic. No, it has to be someone who is chasing after the star plasma vessel, someone who kept an eye on you this entire time.

Well, who’s responsible for this mess isn’t your biggest problem. At the moment, you are on your rapid way to crash into the ground, your guts feeling as if they’ll spill out of your mouth any given minute. And even though you’re able to inhibit the impact, this will still hurt like hell.

Do you have another way out of here, though? Getting hurt is better than crying for anyone’s help, after all. You close your eyes, embrace yourself for multiple broken bones and a wave of pain as soon as you hit the ground.

But it never happens.

“Aren’t so brave anymore, huh? If you only had told me that I would have to throw you out of a sky-high window to get you to shut up, brat.”

Just to let y'all know, I'm still over here giggling like an idiot over the title of that chapter hehehehe

Tags: @whereismysane @risuola @colouringfrogssittinginleaves @livmarauder @sapphireandange

@madaqueue @chilichopsticks @sugurulefttesticle @boba-is-a-soup @jennapancake

@kentocalls @mrshlf @byakuya61085 @polarbvnny @rzcnlb

@m0k0k0

[incorrectcreepypastafam]

Creepypasta As Hazbin Hotel

Ben: so what do you think

Jeff: I’m sorry what the fuck was that

Helen: we’re not filming a porn as a commercial

Puppeteer: why not

Nina: I like being forced

Jeff: keep that to yourself, Nina

Nina: Puppeteer sir

Puppeteer: call me dickmaster

Nina: Puppeteer.

Nina: it’s a solution to our biggest problem

Jeff: oh yeah herpes that’s a bitch

Nina: no our other biggest problem

Jeff: oh uh ugly people?

Jeff: math?

Jane: face my wrath

Jeff: who are you

Jane: I attacked you literally last week

Jeff: ?

Jane: we’ve done battle like twenty times

Jeff: well you must’ve been really bad at this

Liu: oh god, here I go, Jeff. just another fucking day with Jeff. hey hey hey fuck my life

Liu: looks like you have everything under control here

Lyra: of course I do, fuck you, now shoo, go take care of the piss baby

Liu: so you should…?

Jeff: do nothing?

Liu: great idea!!

Toby: you still pissed he almost beat you that time?

Jeff: uh fuck you

Toby: just saying

Sally: *gasp* the bad boy is back

Sally: never leave me again

Brian: we’re about 80% sure she’s harmless

Jeff: this is stupid

Lyra: this is not stupid!

Lyra: it’s just the GAMEEEEE

Lyra: Liu did it well so please try to do the same!

Jeff: I’m too sober for this

Jeff: I’m looking forward to stabbing the other residents

Slenderman: WHAT WHY

Slenderman: people are being nice because they want you to feel welcome

Jeff: *middle finger*

Liu: *middle finger*

Toby: *laughs evilly*

Nina: I have my doubts

Tim: Puppeteer’s minions are all over the place and I need you to get rid of them

Jeff: oh well in that case I’d be delighted to

Tim: humanely

Jeff: well that’s a lot less fun

Jeff: this time everyone has to catch him, okay? Unless you want me to hurt you

Jeff: I love to suck-

Tim: I swear to fuck if you say dicks

Jeff: popsicles, you sicko! Get your mind outta the gutter

Jeff: but you know, dicks too

Sally: sometimes I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others

Jeff: NINA?!

Clockwork: uh my name’s Clocky

Jeff: no one gives a shit

Jeff: call me fake one more time, motherfucker

Jeff: i dare you

Toby: fake

Jeff: fucking asshole- *hits his head on roof*

Toby: you done?

Liu: Lyra, sweetie, you uh you good?

Lyra: nope no not really!

Sally: maybe it’s time

Lazari: no

Sally: to ask

Lazari: don’t say it

Sally: your dad

Lazari: UGHHHHHH

Lyra: wait that’s it

Jeff: kill everyone?

Lyra: noooooo

EJ: what’s the hold up?

EJ: you got daddy issues?

Lulu: no we’ve just never been close

Lulu: after Mom died he never really wanted to see me

Lulu: he calls sometimes but only if he’s bored or needs me to do something

EJ: daddy issues

Brian: this is the first time she’s called you in years

Brian: this has to be perfect

Brian, picking up the phone: HEYYYY BITCH

Jeff: you may have heard of me from my radio broadcast

Tim: hmmm NOPE I guess that’s why Toby called it the Hazbin Hotel hahaha

Jeff: hahaha it was actually my idea

Tim: hahaha well it’s not very clever

Jeff: haha fuck you

Toby: OKAY

Brian: you like girls! so do I! We have so much in common

Clockwork: how you been?

Jeff: good! Until five minutes ago

Sadie: hey Sally what you been up to, girlie?

Sally: fighting bugs

Sadie: and how’s that going for you

Sally: they’re winning

Sally: but not for long

Lulu: how come he can have faith in me but my own father can’t?

Jeff: oooooh drama *pulls out popcorn*

Slenderman: hi

Slenderman: Slenderman

Slenderman: that’s my wall that you just blew up

Jeff: don’t fucking shush me bitch

Sadie: I need a break but hug a koala for me

Nina: omg can you imagine an actual KOALA

Jeff: anyway you sure fucked up didn’t you

Jeff: oh Lyra, you look an absolute mess

Sadie: I won’t hurt anyone for you

Jeff: who’s asking?!

Ben: Jeff and Toby just left like they were running away from their responsibilities

Ben: should we be alarmed?

Helen: are you fucking high?

Lulu: oh I’m just kidding

Lulu: I know you’re an ace in the hole

Ann: a what now?

Sally: I named all the stains on the carpet

Sally: that one’s Fred

Liu: look I can’t resist a fight okay

Liu, about Jeff: especially when I get to tag team with this fuckhead

Lyra: live tonight however you want because-

Toby: we’re all gonna die!

Dina: alright let’s give it up for not dying!

Dina: love not dying!

Dina: … drinks?

Jeff: I mean personally I’m excited it’s been a long time since I stabbed someone and really meant it you know what I mean

Lazari: I dub thee king roach

EJ: oh to understand your twisted little mind

Jeff: anyway I guess

Jeff: please don’t die tomorrow

Jeff: okay bye

Lyra: rip Jane’s cunt mouth out her ass

Jeff: would you just- chill, Lyra, fuck

Zero: they appear to have some kind of shield sir

Puppeteer: oh really? I didn’t see this giant fucking shield in front of me YOU DUMB BITCH NO SHIT

Jeff: I’m about to end your fucking life

Puppeteer: fuck you, you red piece of- too much fucking red- fuck shut up

Ben: hahaha poetry

Jeff: what just happened? Ffffuck

Toby: these fucking angels won’t stop coming

Jeff: HA

Toby: okay I walked right into that one

Jane: Before I take your life I’m going to tear that other eye out of your face

Clockwork: try it bitch

Jeff, to Jane: live

Jeff: live knowing that you only do because I let you

Slenderman: see you messed with my daughter so now I am going to FUCK you

Zalgo: …

Clockwork & Lyra: …

Jeff: 😏

LJ: well this just got interesting

Sally: it’s fuck you up, Dad

Slenderman: wait what did I say?

Liu: how’s mercy taste, you little bitch

Slenderman: take your little friends and GO HOME

Slenderman: please

Puppeteer: I’m The Puppeteer

Helen: and I’m-

Puppeteer: nobody gives a shit who you are, Helen

Zero: anyway congrats to Slenderman and his crew for not being totally fucking useless for once

[sameschmidtdiffname]

i recently had a thought about the reader's online friend!josh futterman, like if these two actually KNOW each other irl but have no idea about it because they use nicknames

i'd really appreciate it if you'd write something like this and I hope my description of it makes sense i used a translator for this lol

in love with your writing btw !!! <3

Bbgirl I gotCHUUUUU

Familiar Strangers

A Josh Futturman x Gender Neutral! Reader Series

Summery: They always say you never know when you'll meet Mister Right. But damn. This is a new level.

Tags: No use of Y/N, no gender specific pronouns for Reader, coffee shop AU, Josh never wins 'Biotic Wars' AU, fluff, meet cute, online friends who don't realize they're friends irl as well, brief mentions of smut, otherwise SFW.

Notes: Alright, first actually planned series! Is it gonna be a slowburn with twenty parts? A mini series? Who the fuck knows! Not me! Let's pray, mfers.

                                 ¤•1•¤

                    °☆>》Maggie's《<☆°

"Please tell me there's a chance for us," she says with baited breath. "Don't tell me you're walking away."

The atmosphere of the small, brick walled coffee shop is calm for 10 o'clock in the morning, but I'm not complaining. God knows I prefer this over the alternative anyways.

"You know that I can't answer that," Oshua says to Tiger, agitated.

This guy, always trying to be mysterious.

"I've waited for you my whole life. You could give me a goddamn-"

The ring of the shop bell tears me from my reading, my head darting up to see who has come to disturb my morning of peace and fiction.

"Hi!" The customer says in overly bright voice. One look at the man and I already know he's the chatty type, not willing to just duck in and out, keys jingling from the black belt on his hip as he flashes a bright, genuine smile, waving his hand enthusiastically while keeping the other in his pants pocket.

Motherfucker.

"Hi!" I try to return with the same bright smile and tone, but I feel irritation spike into my chest as I hear the soft 'click' of my phone shutting off. "Welcome to Maggie's, what can I get you?"

Gentle sunlight streams in through the permanently clouded bay windows of the shop, illuminating the store in its warm glow that just makes a morning feel particularly peaceful. There isn't much foot at this point in the morning, most people already having arrived to work an hour or so earlier, myself included. It was a busy enough part of town, a good location for a coffee shop to thrive, especially with the loyal flow of customers from Kronish Laboratory, a tall, dull building dedicated to scientific research, and the little coffee shop that signs my checks often had the pleasures (read: irritations) of dealing with said researchers and keeping them alive while they work on the miracle cure for herpes. Most of them being particularly rude and short about their orders, usually in a rush for a regular cup of black coffee and swiping it from my hand before storming out to resume their endless work typing away at a computer to log their samples after what must be their too short lunch break. Or maybe too long. Can never tell with those assholes. Most of which I know through mental nicknames. It's partially because I'm no good at actual names. And partially my own form of disrespect and entertainment. Come on, you do it too.

"I don't know," the unfamiliar man says brightly, placing his hands on his hips as he looks at the chalkboard sign hanging behind my head. "What do you like?"

'Whatever gets you out of here the fastest,' I think. But instead I say "Well, what exactly are you looking for? Tea, coffee," the door, "smoothies?"

"Hit me-" gladly. "-with a tea," the bright man says just so... brightly.

Thank you for being so descriptive. "What kind?" I ask, trying to keep my smile sweet.

"Whatever you like," he says with a shrug.

"Vanilla chai?"

"Sure!"

I need to stop being so irritable when someone interrupts my reading. I'm not even allowed to be on my phone at work technically, except the manager generally doesn't care so long as I at least make half an effort to hide it and don't do it in front of customers. And maybe I wouldn't even really care about the interruption except I've been waiting for the release of this part for two weeks, and Nick had been so secretive about the ending he didn't even let me beta read the work before posting.

"What's got you in such a mood?" I ask the smiling man, turning to begin making the drink. Oh, size.

"What do you mean?" He asks, raising his brows, still smiling. Brightly.

"You're like a big... ball of sunshine," I say, gesturing towards him before holding up a small and large cup, now gesturing the two like they were on scales to silently ask his preference.

"Oh, I'm just excited this morning. I'm not usually like this," he says, laughing a little as a small blush grows on his nose, glancing down at the floor before returning his gaze to the cups, pointing at the small.

"Yeah?" I ask, putting the large cup away.

"Yeah. Finished a big project this morning, so I'm like," he shrugs, now scratching the back of his head as he tries to subdue his smile, pressing his lips together and now crossing his subtly built arms across his chest.

"Well, congrats," I say. There's a small moment of slightly awkward silence as the tea quickly brews, both of us not really sure what to say next. This is the part I hate about customer service. I feel bad if I'm not constantly keeping them engaged, but if they're constantly talking I wish they would shut the fuck up. I already can't read regular conversation cues, there's just no winning with this shit.

"I like your uh..." the man I've decided will henceforth be known as Sunshine drawls. "Apron."

I look down at myself, taking note of the dandelion yellow cloth stained with coffee at the bottom from an hour ago when it accidently dipped into a puddle of the stuff while I was cleaning up a spill someone hadn't even told me about only half an hour after opening.

"Thanks," I say, looking back up. "Company issued."

"Oh, we match!" Sunshine jokes, pointing at his grey jumpsuit. Alright, the man may be way too energetic for the morning, but at least he's entertaining about it. I take an actual look at his attire now, a janitors outfit with what I should've expected to be a Kronish Laboratory logo right above his name sewn onto the suit.

"That we do..." I glance at his nametag. "Futturman."

"Fut-turman, not Foot-turman," Sunshine corrects me.

"Oh shit. Shoot. Sorry, man," I laugh awkwardly, offering an apologetic smile as I pour the warm, steeped tea over the ice.

"Iced in Febuary?" He asks, giving me enough grace to not focus on the subject.

I feel my own blush creep onto my skin, a side effect from the name jumble and realizing I hadn't asked his preference. Get your head in the game, idiot.

"I can make you another, if you'd like," I offer sheepishly.

"No!" He blurts, straightening his posture and leaning against the counter. "I mean-" he coughs awkwardly, glancing away. "No, iced is good. I like iced, just uh- figured you... wouldn't have the same preference."

Please, God. It's too early for this.

"I don't like the hot to room temperature texture," I say awkwardly, searching for a lid. "Too... I don't know. Iced to room temperature is better."

"Totally agree," Sunshine says quickly.

Glad to know neither of us can interact with humans properly.

Another moment of awkward silence, except I know what to say this time.

"So, you work at the lab?" I ask. For the small moment I didn't have his attention, he seemed to be surveying the small cakes on display inside the counter beside me, looking at a little white cake with strawberry coating on top before turning back to me.

"Oh! Yeah, no, I just- Carl told me about the place, said I had to try it out," he says, shifting his weight as he stands. "Good vibes and all that."

"Carl..." I say, trying to remember if I've known a Carl.

"Big, like," he gestures his hands long then wide. "Works security, looks like," he makes a sort of stern, almost mean mug face. At that it clicks.

"Oh! Carl!" Deftones Guy. "Yeah, I know him," I say with a more relaxed smile, chuckling a little.

"Yeah, said you guys discuss music sometimes," he says, nodding enthusiastically like he's glad we know the same person.

"A little," I say, placing the drink on the counter. "Alright, Mr. Futturman. $6.70 is your total."

The dark haired man nods, pulling out a green wallet with an emblem on the front from one of his deep pockets. I try to get a clear look simply out of curiosity, but his large, tanned hand covers it too much for me to see what it is.

"Here you are," he says, handing me his card. There's more silence, this time comfortable as I swipe it, our machine beeping twice in decline. At the third beep, Sunshine begins to shift his weight again, licking and biting his bottom lip nervously.

"There should be money on there," he says with a nervous chuckle.

"Oh, it's the machine. It doesn't like working," I clarify. "One sec."

Quickly, I pound my palm into the righthand top corner of the device, right under the chip reader before inserting the blue, cloud covered card once more and waiting for the transaction to clear. At the much more calm, non-nuclear level beep we both breathe a sigh of relief as I return the card to him with a smile.

"Alright," he says with that bright tone to his voice once more. "Now I can see what's up."

We both can.

"I hope you have a good day, Mr. Futturman," I say brightly, still a tad pink from leftover embarrassment.

Sunshine nods and smiles at me, toasting his drink before turning from me and beginning to walk away, taking a sip of his drink and humming in approval, turning quickly and giving me a thumbs up before tripping over his own foot and stumbling into the door like a bit of an idiot, making me giggle slightly before I make myself look away to give him the same grace he'd given me earlier. And with that last exchange he's gone, and I'm free to return to my art.

The tall man looked sadly at- ah shit, I jumped ahead.

"I've waited for you my whole life. You could give me a goddamn answer, Future Man!" Tiger spat in anger and frustration, forcing the emotions she could barely even allow herself to feel overwhelm her in her attempts to communicate.

Emotional angst for my bright morning. God bless, Nick.

-

As I push open the door to my apartment, my phone is buzzing with still silent notifications of what I can guarantee are Tumblr sourced. More specifically, Tumblr messaging sourced. As I push the door shut with my foot, one glance at my old, outdated phone confirms my thoughts.

felinehusband: Okay, give it to me straight.

I smile at the notification, allowing my oversized bag filled with too many items to clatter to the ground loudly, unlocking my phone and responding quickly.

icanfixhimdotorg: Dude.

I walk as I type, entering the kitchen and opening the door to the small freezer to see which cheap meal I'll try not to nuke tonight.

felinehusband: Dude? ,:)

I smile at the message, picking out chicken teriyaki as I hit send.

icanfixhimdotorg: Worth. The. Wait.

I cross to the beaten microwave, the appliance cheap and secondhand from Facebook marketplace. It's honestly a miracle the thing hasn't blown up in my face or given me detectable cancer, but despite the large dent on the side, still usable. Google said if the door still seals and there's no opening, it was safe. And it got that dent from me dropping it on the way inside the apartment on move in day after I already paid $50 for it after getting it from some overworked mom who hardly wanted to even charge that low. I sure as hell wasn't gonna get a refund, or anything functional for cheaper.

I leave my phone on the counter as I open the frozen meal, vent the film and slap it inside. Now to wait for seven minutes.

felinehusband: Oh thank GOD. I've been anxious all day.

I chuckle softly, smiling as I lean against the permanently grimy counter.

icanfixhimdotorg: I don't know why!! You always post such good work :)

felinehusband: Well, I post work that always has good reception.

icanfixhimdotorg: The difference?

felinehusband: ... I'll get back to you on that one lol

I tap my foot against the floor, listening to the muffled echo mix with the loud hum of the microwave as I stare ahead at the mint green, poorly painted wall in front of me.

icanfixhimdotorg: No cervix penetration?

There's plenty of ways to meet friends. I didn't not bank on responding to a request for beta readers for fanfiction for some moderate, slowly dying game fandom to be one of them.

felinehusband: ONE TIME!

The quick response makes me laugh, clicking off my phone as I turn my attention now to my waiting meal that I'm going to devour much too quickly while working lines for my production.

Nick and I started chatting about six months ago. I had already been following him for some of his shit posts, midnight blogging, and when he started posting fanfiction I was one of his first readers.

'Biotic Wars' doesn't have a particularly big following on Tumblr as it used to. When the game first came out, people were going insane over how to beat the final level. The community thrived from memes, overly elaborate theories, fanfiction, you name it. It helped that there was a huge boost in the gaming community in general around the time it came out, what with 'Five Nights at Freddy's' cranking out sequels faster than anyone could keep up with, 'Undertale' breaking out onto the scene a little bit later. The gaming side of Tumblr was alive and thriving, and the amount of overlapping there was between fandoms only made it bigger. That was how I found the fandom personally. That and binging several different speed-running videos.

At the point Nick came onto the scene, most had generally lost their interest in the unbeatable 'Biotic Wars.' The fans that remained did so out of genuine interest or hyperfixation instead of temporary trends, and while good work was still being posted, everyone had at that point either begun to shift their own writing focuses, lost time to post frequently, or shifted to other platforms such as Archive of Our Own and had stopped crossposting to their Tumblr. So a decent, well paced, new angst fic following a lone Wolf and Tiger reminiscing on their old journies together as they attempted to survive a bitter winter night without any supplies other than an old tarp being used as their only attempt of shelter as they attempt to ride out a storm after a mission gone wrong popped onto the scene, people were immediately captivated. And even though it was a one-shot, the work received enough attention that a spin-off fic was posted within the following 48 hours. And once those two had blown up, Nick was quickly recognized in the community for his content, shitposts and fics alike. And he was very lucky to have overwhelming positive feedback. Until his first smut, that is.

icanfixhimdotorg: Nico, baby. It's an important first step for every smut writer.

Oh, it was brutal. First, he decided to go off the deep end by just jumping straight into some tenticle situation for poor Tiger. Now, granted, he did post a poll before hand asking if we readers would enjoy the consumption of some outrageous shit, to which 78.8% of voters said yes, myself included. But when reading a 'baby's first smut' fic, one doesn't really expect... that. But I'll admit, it was surprisingly good quality. Until the cervix penetration.

"Coiling in her womb." Yeah, Tumblr had a fun day with that one.

It took less than a day for him to post that he was searching for smut consultants and beta readers, to which I responded both out of genuine interest and a bit of pity since I was sure his ask box was filling with several new comments. No one was surprised when he ended up turning off anon for a few days. And since I had responded to quite a few of his works/posts already, I was one of the lucky few selected for such a job since he recognized me. And once the doorway was opened for casual chatter, both of us just kind of never stopped. Either by constantly responding to each others posts, automatic reblogs at each notification of a new post, or messaging each other about our days kept us both sane as we tried to just survive each new day as adults.

I look up from my notebook where my tragic script is scratched across the $0.75 college notebook as I lazily attempt to memorize my lines while mostly keeping my eyes trained on the old TV in front of me to check the buzz from my phone, swiping it open to read the new message.

felinehusband: So how's season four going?

icanfixhimdotorg: Dude.

I watch the screen until I feel the phone buzz once more in my hand.

felinehusband: No spoilers!! I'm still trying to push through season three for you ;)

Nick was sweet. Good for a joke, claims he's a little awkward, but a good friend. Sweet enough that about two months ago he'd let it slip he'd begun watching my favorite show simply because "If I have to see you go insane over animated anthropomorphic animals interacting with humans again without context, I'm gonna lose it."

icanfixhimdotorg: Binge it!! You're gonna lose your mind!!

felinehusband: You're gonna delay part 10 lmao

As I take the last bite of my meal, I realize the time, sighing as I begin to do the mental math of how long I have until practice tonight. Knowing how little time I have to prepare, I pause the episode and type one last quick text.

icanfixhimdotorg: If it does, it's worth it honestly. You won't believe this shit, Nick.

As I stand from the sagging, horrendously textured couch I catch his parting message while I stretch, popping about five different spots in my back.

felinehusband: Okayokay, if it means I can read your over the top rants again, it's worth it :)

icanfixhimdotorg: Excellent. Got to go, showering for practice tonight.

I trail quickly through the small apartment, grabbing whatever clothes are passable in public while remaining comfortable enough to sleep in when I immediately collapse into my bed around 11 tonight, an old, tattered, turquoise towel I'd stolen from my parents when I moved out, and grabbing my soap from the kitchen sink before making my way to the bathroom. Listen, Seventh Generation is cheap and works just as good on the human body as it does on dishes, alright? I'm trying to get a mortgage one day.

As I wait for the water to shift from its arctic temperature to something more bearable, I check my phone one more time to quickly reblog a gifset and read Nick's departing message.

felinehusband: Knock 'em dead, Mercutio :)

felinehusband: Also, I need some input later tonight for this like. Slowburn thing. May be an AU. Not sure, we'll see. I'm thinking coffee shop

Ah, yes.

icanfixhimdotorg: A classic.

                             >¤》○《¤<

I'm making no current promises on how frequently I update this series. Hopefully it'll be something I can work on while working and such, but we'll see what happens. My current hope is to post at minimum one request and hopefully one part for this series per week. However I will warn one of my current projects is about to wrap up, meaning I'm going to have to focus on that next week as much as possible, meaning I probably won't get anything done writing wise next week unless I aim for a drabble or headcanons. And even then I'm not sure I'll have time for actually editing and such, so don't be surprised if the only content you get next week is some rambles like I've been doing for Peeta lately or nothing at all. Alright, love y'all!! Stay safe, stay healthy <33 see you next time.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

               •▪︎Masterlist▪︎•

[lucaaazd]

A little skit inspired by the current EMA au discourse, where Annie was born in Paradis instead of Armin

I was wondering how they’d become friends in the first place, since Eren only became friends with Armin because he saw him being bullied. I imagined it would be … very different with Annie, lol.

Okay start scene

“Aren’t you a little ray of sunshine?” Sneered the Bullies, classic Bully style.

Eren Yeager clenched his fists. What a bunch of gangsters, cornering a small girl in a dark alley on a Wednesday night.

“Leave her alone,” he spat, stepping out from behind the trash cans.

“Oooo, wittle Eren!” Bully Number 1 smiled with glee.

“We’ll leave her alone alright - after we’ve picked the meat off your measly bones, Eren Eager.”

“My name,” Eren’s teeth chattered with suppressed rage, “is Eren Yeager.”

“His dad saved the whole town from herpes,” said the girl.

Everyone whipped around, flabbergasted. The blond girl looked from stunned face to stunned face with a blank expression, her hands in her pockets.

Eren blinked. “My dad’s not a herpes doctor.”

“I don’t care who your dad fucks for a job, Eren Yeeter,” Bully Number 3 smirked.

“SAY THAT AGAIN!” Eren roared, charging head first at his opponents, who were all cracking their knuckles gleefully.

WHAM - one of them lay curled up on the ground, whimpering. Another stopped in his track, looking around frantically for the source of the attack, before face planting into the dirt with a yelp.

“Wow,” Eren panted, gazing down at his sweaty palms, “That was weird. I must have done that with my mind.”

A moan came from somewhere to his right. Bully Number 1 was pinned to the wall, his long gorilla arms flailing weakly. “I can’t breathe - let me go - gah - ”

“I’d work on my core if I was you,” said the girl as she tightened her hand on his throat. She gave him one last good kick in the crotch before dropping him. The gangly boy slid down the wall like jello.

Without a word, the girl tightened the strings on her hoodie so that only her nose and mouth were visible. Her hands were back in her pockets. She was turning to leave when Eren called out, “Don’t go!”

She paused.

“How did you do that?” Asked Eren eagerly.

“I can show you if you want,” she said, turning back around to face him. “No no no no no,” Eren shook his head wildly, “I’m good, I’m good.”

“I’ll see you around then.”

“Don’t go!” Eren reached out a hand, “Teach me what you know. Please.”

She peered over her shoulder at him. She seemed to be weighing her options. “Sure,” she replied, “I’ll teach you.”

“Great. What’s your - ”

An ear-splitting scream slipped out of him as he was tackled to the floor. The girl barely grunted as she pinned her arms to his back. “Annie. I already know yours.”

Eren gasped for breath.

“Eren Yeeter.”

[heydorothea009]

Bread on Toast - A Future Man Fanfiction

Josh Futturman and his fellow coworker and best friend, Liv Branson, get roped into saving the world as time traveling saviors with, what were thought to be, video game characters, Wolf and Tiger. Not only are Liv and Josh completely incompetent, but they are also emotionally inept- will this cause the destruction of mankind? Only time will tell.

Warnings: strong language, SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI PLEASE AND THANK YOU), porn with plot ig, Wolf misses cocaine 😔

Chapter 10 (pt. 1): Prelude To An Apocalypse

“Any…any chance that’s good?” Josh asked, leaning back to look up at the tall tower. This was not the Kronish Labs that Liv and Josh knew.

“That’s the Kronitorium,” Tiger said, fear seeping into her voice. “That’s where the super cure was engineered, where the Biotics were born.” She looked frantically from the tower to Liv and Josh. “This building isn’t supposed to exist for another fifty years.”

“Fifty years?” Josh looked at Liv and then back at Tiger. “Well, Kronish should be long gone by then.”

“Kronish was only supposed to cure herpes. That research was the basis for the super cure, which didn’t happen for years after he died.” She was sounding more and more frantic, voice breaking. “So, whatever you said to him drove him to work on the super cure himself. What the FUCK did you say to Kronish?”

“Nothing! Nothing, we didn’t say anything!” Josh blurted out, backing into Liv, away from Tiger’s wrath. Liv looked at him with a guilty face. They did say something. “I mean, you know, we had to get him on the boat, so we told him to follow his heart and choose love,” Liv slowly shook her head at him. “And…maybe we may have peppered in, like, a little bit of detail about his future…”

Tiger took a menacing step at both of them, hands outstretched as if she might strangle them both. They both took a scared step back away from her, cowering. “What?” She lashed. “You never tell anyone about their future, that is time travel 101! I even know that and I didn’t go to your stupid made up time travel college!” She spat.

“Maybe there’s still time before the cure’s released.” Liv interjected. “Maybe we can go back in time and fix this!”

“Maybe there’s, like, a really cool solution that we don’t know about yet…in the future!” Josh added.

“No, no, no,” Tiger pointed an accusatory finger at both of them. “There is no ‘we’. Coming back for you and thinking you were our savior? That was the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life.” She said to Josh. “There’s only one way to fix this, and I’m doing it by myself.” She stormed away from them, clutching the TTD tightly.

“Tiger, wait!” Liv called after her.

“Tiger, where are you going?” Josh took a few steps after her.

“Far away from you, fuck nose!” She shot back at him.

“Don’t give up on me!” He gave a defeated groan as Tiger flipped him off and stormed away at an impressive pace. He turned back to Liv, who looked at him with a worried expression.

“Josh…” she whispered. It was the possum incinerator all over again.

“Come on, let’s see what we’re dealing with here.” He grumbled quietly, breezing past her as he made his way over to the Kronitorium. Liv rushed after him. As they entered, their eyes grew wider, not recognizing a single thing about the building. People were scanning their hands to enter into the main labs from the lobby.

“Okay…” Liv muttered, intertwining her hand in Josh’s, staying close to his side.

“Shit,” he muttered back, realizing they probably would not have clearance. “Should we…should we try?” He whispered.

“I mean, we technically worked here, I think…” She looked around the lobby again.

They nervously approached the scanners, gripping onto each other’s hands tightly, scared that if they let go they’d somehow lose the other.

“Excuse me, can I help you?” A voice said from behind them.

They turned their heads to look at the person. Carl the Biotic who Tiger and Wolf killed stood behind them. Josh and Liv jumped.

“Holy shit!” Josh blurted out. “Carl!”

“Do I know you?” Carl asked, towering over them, not in a threatening way, but in a protective security guard way.

“No,” Liv said. “I’m- I’m Liv Branson, this is Josh Futturman. We work here, we should be in the system.” She said, trying not to sound nervous.

“We just forgot our IDs.” Josh said, remembering how both of their IDs were left back in the 80s. Dammit.

Carl looked to another security guard who typed “Liv Branson” into the computer system. Immediately a picture of Liv and Josh (Josh in lingerie) appeared. Their faces fell. The computer blared an alarm. Carl and another security guard seized the two of them without another word, throwing them out of the building.

“Ow! Ow! Okay!” Carl shoved Josh away from the door. Liv was pushed out next to him.

“Come back and we’ll have you both arrested.” Carl said sternly.

“…okay…” They turned away from the building, confused. “How did they even have that picture?” Embarrassment was evident in Josh’s voice.

“Go away, go away!” Somebody from a bench behind them was whining. “No, no, no!” They looked over to see Stu Camillo trying to eat his lunch, shooing pigeons away from him. Josh broke away from Liv’s side to inch closer to him in shock.

“Stu!” He said. Stu’s head snapped up, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

“D-did I take your bench? I-I’m sorry!” He stammered, leaping to his feet.

“No, Stu, it’s me- it- what are you doing?” He asked as Stu hurried away, looking back at them repeatedly.

“That was weird…” Liv muttered, appearing right next to Josh’s side again. “Stu isn’t in charge here?”

“What the fuck is going on with this timeline?” Josh swore. He sighed and took Liv’s hand again. “Can we…can we go back to my house? I don’t know what to do right now.” He sounded defeated. “We don’t have a job, no one seems to know us here, I just want to see my parents.”

“I wanna see your parents too.” Liv said. The walk back to Josh’s house was tame thankfully, and as they approached Josh’s house they both felt relief settle over them. At least something was familiar. The familiarity was gone the second they entered the house. Josh slowed down as he took in the sight of his- no, someone else’s house, and Liv softly gasped behind him. The wallpaper, the decorations, nothing was the same.

“Is this even your house?” Liv asked quietly, beginning to panic.

“What the…” Josh exhaled, taking in the sight. It was so modern, with a touch of Asian cultural aesthetics. Whoever’s house this was, it was boujee as hell.

“Oh! Hey, JFUTZ!” A man’s voice excitedly greeted them, making Josh and Liv both jump out of their skin. Paul and Tracy from the video game store got off the couch to greet them. “You’re home earls bro!” Paul said cheerfully.

“How was Macau, you rock that shit?” Tracy excitedly walked up to them and saw Liv. “Oh! Paul, he brought home a girlfriend!”

“Ooh! JFUTZ! This your girl?”

“Wow! Trend alert! Say goodbye to leather and mesh, huh?”

“Hello retro!”

“How was the tourney? The crowd looked sick, like, bigger than BlizzCon. Like, sick, dude.”

Liv slowly turned to look at Josh’s overwhelmed face. “Um. Yeah, yeah it was bigger than BlizzCon for sure.” He tried saying as naturally as he could. Tracy and Paul looked at Liv, expecting her to introduce herself.

“I’m Liv.” She said.

“Nice to meet you Liv, Josh’s girl.” Tracy winked at her. Liv gave Josh a look, bumping his hip with hers. Josh’s brain finally caught up to what Paul and Tracy were saying about Liv and he looked at her with pink cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah…” his eyes were soft. “My girl.” Liv’s eyes practically had hearts in them.

Paul and Tracy melted with awwws. “You guys are, like, couple goals!” Paul said.

“The…um, thing was crazy,” Liv spoke up. “There were like, so many people.” She wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but she sure was acting like she did. Josh was still looking at her with love struck puppy dog eyes, processing the tingly feeling he got from calling Liv “his girl”. “We’re kinda jet lagged right now, so….”

“Jet lag? JFUTZ flies private, I thought they like, engineered out the jet leg or something.” Paul chuckled as he and Tracy walked into the kitchen. Josh and Liv followed close behind.

Josh snapped out of his trance. “Private?” Paul and Tracy both stopped what they were doing and gave him a confused look. “Oh, yeah. I think it’s a new- uh- new thing they’re figuring out-“ he cut himself off, realizing what was missing. “Hey, uh, where are my parents?”

“At the dope ass condo you put them in!” Tracy reminded him enthusiastically.

“World’s greatest son alert!” Paul pointed at him and raised the roof, imitating some kind of bird sound.

Josh looked at Liv with an even more confused look. He looked back to Tracy and Paul. “Would you excuse us for a moment?” He grabbed Liv’s hand and led her towards the stairs. Paul wolf whistled at them.

“Sure thing you two, don’t get too loud.” Tracy winked after them. Before Liv or Josh had time to process what she’d said, they were up the stairs and walking into the bathroom, and shutting the door behind them.

“Where the fuck are we?” Josh whispered, looking amazed. Liv looked around at the glass sinks, the bamboo wallpaper, and the impressively big shower.

“Woah…” she breathed out, pointing to a control panel on the wall. Josh walked over to observe it, still amazed at how high tech everything was. He fumbled with his phone as he got it out of his pocket and sat on the toilet. “What are you doing?” She asked, leaning over him and looking down at his phone, everything was upside down.

Josh looked up at her with a goofy grin as all of her hair dangled in his face. “Googling myself. Sorry, Bloogling myself…my name is Joosh here?”

“That name was stupid.” She giggled as he poked her side.

“Shut up Liv, you don’t have to call me that.” He chuckled as he kept scrolling through the articles about him. “I gave a TED Talk?” His smile grew bigger as he scrolled through pictures that came up. A few key words caught his eye. “…‘Fortune off AOL shares’? Is that-“ Josh flipped his phone around for Liv to see. “Is that Uncle Barry?”

“He took your advice!” Liv said excitedly as she looked at the picture of JFUTZ and Uncle Barry accepting an award. “‘Founder of the Robotics company ‘Future Man’!” She read. “Josh, this is amazing!”

Josh scrolled past pictures of him on magazines, videos of him promoting a sports drink called ‘JOOSH’, and the fact is net worth was 6 Million Euros. “I think that’s a lot of money!” Josh gasped, showing Liv. Liv knelt next to him, watching as he continued to deep dive.

“I’m in Ibiza!” He showed her paparazzi pictures of him. “…I have a Bentley.” He gasped excitedly, leaning back, head hitting the control panel.

“Engaging, rainforest mode.” A robotic voice said. Liv and Josh looked around as mist began to sprinkle down from the ceiling.

“Rainforest mode?” Josh raised his arms up, as if he were welcoming the mist. “My life rules!” He cried, ecstatically, wrapping his arms around Liv and pulling her in for a kiss. “My life fucking rules.” He grinned into the kiss. Liv let Josh pull her into his lap as she deepened the kiss.

They spent about 15 more minutes in the bathroom. Josh kissed down her neck, finally finding the spot that made her pant in his ear (and made his dick twitch). As Josh kissed along Liv’s collar bone, pulling her collar down to gain more access to her skin, the mist shut off, making them both pull away, faces flushed.

“Maybe we should…”

“Yeah,” Liv got off his lap and pulled Josh into one last kiss as they exited the bathroom. They walked down the stairs as nonchalantly as they could, clothes and hair both damp. Paul and Tracy were wiping down the shelves and dusting off picture frames in the living room.

“Oh, you guys don’t have to worry about that. I’ve got someone to do that for me, right?” Josh said.

“Oh yeah, yeah.” Paul dropped the rag.

“We alerted the crew as usual, but if you’re super jet lagged we can tell ‘em to fuck off.” Tracy said.

“The crew? No, don’t tell them that, I’d love to see the crew!” Josh said excitedly. He had more friends than just Liv in this universe?

“Oh! And your present is getting here from Japan today!” Paul said.

“No way! A present?” Josh looked excitedly at Liv.

“Just got an alert this morning that it will be delivered today.”

“That’s- that’s so exciting!” Liv said, not knowing what they meant by present.

JFUTZ’s friends showed up, and Liv and Josh knew none of them. As more and more people showed up and crowded the living room, Liv felt more and more uncomfortable. Josh was having a blast with his crew, while Liv sat next to him, her leg bouncing nervously. She always liked when it was just her and Josh, and she was finding that she wasn’t a fan of the crew.

“My prediction is, hear me out, Governor Amal Clooney.” Josh said to a group of people. The topic of conversation was which celebrities would go into politics in the future. “I give it until 2023. Mark my words.” Josh said as the people laughed and shook their heads. Liv slipped her hand into his. Josh’s head snapped over to look at her. “You okay?” He asked softly. She hadn’t said much since the house began to crowd.

“Mhm.” She lied.

“Liv.” He whispered.

“Yo Joosh! Want some JOOSH?” Tracy called, holding a bottle of the sports drink up.

“I’m okay, thanks though!” Josh called back, hand sliding over Liv’s thigh. “Liv,” his voice dropped back to a low octave. “Do you want to get away from the crowd?”

“…kinda, but- but if you’re having fun-“

“I’m not having fun anymore, you look overwhelmed.” Josh stood up, holding a hand out to help her up. “Let’s go check out my room, we haven’t seen that yet.” He suggested, giving her a warm smile. They walked upstairs, going unnoticed by the absolute ocean of people in his living room. Walking into Josh’s room, he gently hugged her. “I’m sorry, I thought the crew would be, like, a normal sized friend group.”

“It’s okay.” Liv gave him a small, grateful smile. Josh’s new room had his bed in the middle, right under a giant light up sign that said “SIN” that hung on a chevron print wall. “Oh! Sin!” She laughed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

“Oh, JFUTZ…” Josh laughed awkwardly, his cheeks heating up. Liv bumped her shoulder into Josh’s.

“You’re JFUTZ, dipshit.” She teased. “You hung that on your wall.” She poked his arm.

“Nuh uh,” Josh playfully rolled his eyes.

“Yuh huh,” Liv grabbed his face and peppered it with kisses. Josh’s eyes squeezed shut and a dorky grin spread over his lips. Her arms stung around his neck. “So, Joosh-“

“Don’t call me that.”

“How does it feel to have accomplished so much?” She asked in a teasing tone.

“Come on, Liv, that wasn’t really me, that was JFUTZ. I’m just Josh.” Josh blushed.

“A humble man, I like it.” She teased.

“You like it?” He was grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey now, don’t let your ego get too big.” She grinned that suggestive grin that she got whenever she made a dirty joke.

Josh chuckled. “Dirty jokes are banned.” He joked, rolling his eyes.

“The sign welcomes it.” She nodded to the “SIN” sign and pushed away from Josh, strolling away casually to examine the room.

Josh immediately missed her arms around him. He missed her body being so painfully close yet far away from his. Liv had been in his room plenty of times before, but this wasn’t his room. Seeing her sit on his- no- Joosh’s bed still somehow made his heart thud. It was technically his bed though, right? In some way?

Liv had said something to him, but he didn’t hear it, he was thinking about kissing her again, missing the feeling of her lips molding against his. He wanted to taste the flavor of that same tropical scented lip balm she'd used for three years, and wanted to feel her fingers in his hair. He wanted her. She was right there, and the little glances she kept shooting to him alluded to her wanting him too. He knew she did, he saw the way she looked at him in lingerie. Too bad they didn’t have that anymore.

“Josh,” Liv giggled, adjusting to sit cross legged on the bed. “I asked you a question.”

Josh sat on the edge of the bed. “What?”

“I said, would you decorate your room this weird if you could?”

Josh glanced around, shaking his head. “Absolutely not.” He glanced at the chevron patterned walls.

Liv motioned for him to sit closer to her. Josh sat on the bed, cross legged just like her. “Is your bed this comfy at home?” She asked.

Josh pressed his hands into the mattress. It was some kind of memory foam bed, and it was a thousand times nicer than his old one. “This was probably hella expensive, I wish.”

Liv laughed. “It’s really nice.” She giggled as she grabbed his face and kissed him deeply, feeling Josh eagerly kiss her back, hands moving to her waist immediately. God, she loved that feeling. She uncrossed her legs, moving onto her knees, hovering over him. Josh’s lips never left hers, instead he craned his head upward as she moved up. She pulled away so she could look down at him. There was a glimmer in his eyes, she guessed it was one of arousal.

“This is really nice.” He whispered, face flushing. “How long do we have in this room?” He asked breathlessly.

“What?”

“Back in the 80s you said only 15 minutes, and then you said 16, but how long do we have now?”

She smiled down at him and laughed, climbing into his lap. “17.”

“17 what?”

“Hopefully not seconds, I hope you last longer than that.” She grinned, the same glimmer in her own eyes. His eyes widened. Oh. Oh!

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Their lips crashed together. The kiss was electrifying this time, Liv couldn’t hold back an excited little groan.

Josh pulled away, pupils enormous. “You can’t do that to me, Liv.” He muttered, cheeks glowing redder and redder.

“I can and I will.” She wrapped her legs tightly around him and recaptured his lips. Liv swore Josh’s eyes rolled back.

Josh’s hands moved to the nape of her neck, tangling themselves in her hair. Liv let out a small groan, feeling him play with her hair.

“God. Do you know what you’re doing to me right now?” He mumbled, eyes fluttering open as she pulled away to catch her breath.

“I can feel it.” She muttered in his ear. Josh’s dick was pressing against her thigh, making her feel dizzy.

“Oh God… sorry…” Josh seemed embarrassed.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Liv tilted her head down at him. “It’s the reaction I was hoping for.”

Josh’s hands traveled down her back and ran over her thighs. “Can I tell you something?”

“Oh, what? Are you a virgin?” She teased.

“What? No!” Josh’s face twisted with a mock offended look. “No, I’m not a virgin! I was going to tell you that I think your legs feel nice wrapped around me, but now I don’t want to.”

“Well, you just told me.” Liv teased, squeezing her legs. Josh couldn’t help but let out a little whimper.

“Shut up, Liv.” He managed to breath out, grabbing her hips. His whimper paired with his grabbing her hips only made her want to do it more. So she did, squeezing her thighs harder around him, feeling his erection dig into her thigh more. Josh muffled his whining against her mouth, addicted to her. He kissed so gently, his lips moving against hers felt so perfect. Liv had kissed other guys, admittedly not that many, but enough to know that this was the most intimate and dizzying kiss she’d ever received. Probably because she’d secretly been fantasizing about this moment every night before she fell asleep for years.

She unbuttoned a button on his shirt, feeling his hands shyly wandering her back, clearly wanting to go down and grab her ass, but seeming too shy to go through with the action.

“If you want me to take my shirt off, you could just ask.” Josh said, unbuttoning the rest of the buttons and pulling the ugly pink shirt off.

“Ugh, finally.” Liv teased, running her fingers over his collar bone. “You know you’re allowed to touch me anywhere, right?”

“I know.” He said shyly. He saw the way her eyes lit up when he shivered at her touch, the way her fingers dragged over his chest and collar bone. “You’ve seen me like this before.” He said, playfully rolling his eyes and grinning.

“I just think you’re really pretty.” Liv dragged her fingers up the side of his neck, making his eyelids flutter at the feeling.

“Liv…” Was all he could manage to say quietly. Liv seized the opportunity to pull her own tank top off, throwing it over to join Josh’s shirt on the floor next to the bed. Josh’s eyes were wide as his brain malfunctioned. His eyes flicked between her own and her nude colored bra. She laughed at his shock. He looked at her like he’d never seen a woman in just a bra.

“You sure you’re not a virgin? Or are you just really into boobs?” She teased. Josh looked up at her eyes sheepishly. It was definitely the latter option. “Josh Futturman, you’re a boob guy? I’m actually not surprised.”

“Hey, hey!” Josh shook his head. “They’re in my face right now, what am I supposed to do?”

Liv’s lips ghosted his as she whispered against them. “You could always touch them?” She suggested, reaching behind her to unclasp her bra.

Josh couldn’t believe what was happening, he felt as though time had stopped moving. Being here, this close, this intimate with Liv was the first time he felt happy in forever. As she threw her bra aside, Josh stared into her gorgeous brown eyes with his pleading hazel ones. She was completely topless in his lap and yet he couldn’t tear his eyes away from hers. He looked so pathetic and needy. And she liked that. A lot.

“You’re allowed to look at me.” She giggled softly.

Josh gave her a shy grin. “I know, I just think you’re just really pretty.” He used her own words. Liv covered her face with her hands, giggling shyly. She could feel Josh’s eyes drift down to her boobs. Josh looked back up at her hands covering her face. He pulled her hands down gently. Liv’s face was tomato red as she giggled. “I’m allowed to touch you, right?” Josh double checked.

“If you don’t I think I’ll scream.” She grinned.

“Well…” Josh grabbed Liv’s hips and rolled over on top of her, making her squeal. His mouth immediately attached to her right boob, hand skimming up her side and cupping her left boob. Liv gasped and let out a shaky moan. She felt Josh’s mouth vibrate as her moan caused him to moan too. Her head rolled back into the bed as he pressed kisses around her hard nipple, before taking it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it.

“Oh God…” She panted and let out a heavy sigh, feeling Josh’s other hand wander down and caress her hip through her jean shorts. Josh had never enjoyed something so much in his whole life, sucking on Liv’s tits while listening to her whimper and pant was absolute heaven.

Josh looked up at her through his lashes, watching her jaw slack as she squirmed. He moved his mouth around, sucking and kissing anywhere he felt her breath hitch and her body twitch. Oh, she’d have hickeys for sure. As much as he wanted to stay at her boobs forever, he missed her face, so he kissed up the valley between her breasts, up her collar bone, and up her neck, cupping her breasts with his hands. He rubbed his thumbs over her breasts as he trailed kisses over her jawline and up to her lips. “Okay, maybe I am a boob guy.” He admitted, his hold on her slacking. Liv used the opportunity to roll him over so she was on top again, straddling his waist.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” She giggled. Josh eyed the hickeys forming across her boobs with a proud smile. “My eyes are up here.” She teased, lightly rocking her hips against his. Josh’s hands shot out and grabbed her hips as he let out a strangled moan.

“Holy fucking hell!” He felt Liv’s hands trail up and down his stomach as he closed his eyes, trying to keep from cumming right then and there. Her giggles taunted him. “You’re going to drive me insane.” He felt her fingers land on his belt.

“Yeah?” She taunted. Fuck. Her teasing tone made him melt under her. He opened his eyes as he felt her lift off of him, finding her shimmying down her shorts, stripping down to just her underwear. Josh took the opportunity to get up and take his own pants off, staring at each other as they realized they didn’t have many layers left separating them. “Damn.” Liv breathed out, staring at the absolute rocket in Josh’s boxers. “I’ve gotta admit, I’m a little intimidated.” She said shyly, laying down amongst the pillows on the bed.

“I think I might be too.” Josh had to steady himself as the lightheaded feeling from all the blood in his body rushing to his dick finally caught up to him. “Oh God, I’m-“ he let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Oh! Josh, we can stop if you’re not feeling-“

Josh looked up at her with pleading eyes as he got back on the bed. “No! I want to, trust me, I want to so bad.” He practically whimpered. The sound of his whimper went straight to her pussy. Shit, was she into that? She held out her arms, wrapping Josh in them as he settled down on top of her. His lips immediately found her sensitive spot on her neck, making her whine in his ear. “I like that sound.” He whispered, a sneaky hand moved up to pinch her nipple. She moaned again, louder this time. He brought his face up to hers with a cunning grin. She glared at him playfully and rolled on top of him again, this time exploring his neck with her lips. “Oh Liv, I-“ he was interrupted by Liv finding the sensitive spot, immediately folding and moaning loudly.

Liv smirked against his neck and got to work, leaving hickeys down his neck, hickeys that would be covered by his shirt, but she would know they were there.

“Liv…” he moaned, as she kissed around his collar bone.

“Hm?” She looked up at him innocently, but her hands playing with the waistband of his boxers was anything but.

“Jesus, Liv, just take them off.” He begged, needing some sort of relief. Liv grinned as she shook her head. “Fuck you.” He mumbled.

“What?” She asked smugly. She got off of him and took her own panties off. Feeling Josh’s eyes all over her as his jaw going slack made her feel even more naked than she was.

“Hachi machi,” Josh breathed out. “You’re gorgeous.” Liv couldn’t hold back an amused look.

“I thought I told you to never say that again.” Liv laughed, sitting back on the bed.

“Liv, I’m serious.” Josh was suddenly nervous to touch her again. “I think you’re perfect.”

Liv looked at him, hearts in her eyes. “You think I’m perfect?” She cooed.

“Your smile, your- your eyes, your hair, your laugh…” Josh listed. “Your…your body, your moans.” He tacked on the end. “And your…everything.” His eyes raked over her, giddily. “God, you’re- you’re everything.”

“My moans?” She grinned.

“God,” Josh gathered her in his arms and pulled her back to him. “Your moans are music to my fucking ears.”

Liv straddled his lap again. “I like when you moan too.” She wrinkled her nose as she grinned at him. “You whimper. A lot.” Josh bit his lip as she traced her fingers along the band of his boxers.

“I won’t last any longer if you keep teasing me.” He said quietly.

“Lame.” She snapped the band against his stomach teasingly. He moved her hips off of him, pulling down his boxers. Liv’s jaw dropped. “Oh my fucking God!” She cried. Big was an understatement. A gross understatement. Even Josh was surprised.

“Holy fucking-“ he gasped, staring down at his own dick with wide eyes. “Surprise?” He looked back up her face, trying to read her reaction.

“How- what- will that even fit?!” She asked, her thighs squeezing together, Josh couldn’t tell if it was out of nervousness or excitement.

“Liv, we don’t have to…I don’t want to make you feel-“

“Oh God, Josh, I want to. Don’t worry, I want to. I wanna ride you.” An evil glint sparked in Liv’s eyes. Josh was floored and even more horny. It was definitely excitement.

“…what?”

“I said I wanna ride you.” Liv said again, leaning forward so that their faces were closer. “You know? Sir Mix-A-Lot?”

“Oh- oh, I know,” Josh stammered, heart thrashing against his rib cage, imagining all kinds of scenarios of Liv on top of him. “You wanna…come here?”

“You got a condom?” Liv asked, eyes dropping down to his dick again.

“Shit!” Josh cursed. Josh rolled off the bed and stood at the night stand to his right, rifling through it, praying he’d find one. “I got one!” He pulled out a condom labeled “JOOSH” with his face on it. “Oh. I sell condoms too.” Josh looked up at Liv, who sat patiently on the bed, looking at him in a way that made his heart hammer even harder, his face flush, and his dick throb. “You’re pretty.” He said as he tore open the package.

Liv got visibly flustered. “You’re…prettier.” She said back.

“I don’t think so,” Josh rolled the condom on.

“How long would you say that is?” Liv studied his penis. Cute moment over. “Like, what, 8 feet?” He got back on the bed.

“8 feet?! Neither of us are even that tall.” Josh laughed lightly, before looking at her seriously. “Liv, are you sure?”

“I’ve been sure for a while, Josh.” Liv said. “Joosh, if you will.”

“If you call me Joosh while you’re riding my dick, I think I might cry.” Josh laughed nervously as Liv got closer.

“You don’t want me calling you Joosh?” She teased, hovering over him.

“No. Josh is fine.” He looked nervous. “God, you’re making me anxious.”

Liv’s face fell, looking worried. “Why?”

“Because you’re hot.” Josh said dumbly as he blushed deeper red.

A wave of relief washed over Liv as Josh sat up on his elbows. “You might snap me in half.” She said quietly, referring to his massive fucking horse cock.

“Oh God, I hope I don’t.” Josh’s eyes widened with surprise as she pushed him back down onto his back, dangerously close to lowering herself onto him, but of course she wouldn’t, she was teasing him. Of course not only was she a fucking tease normally but also in bed too.

“You wanna find out?” She asked quietly, batting her eyelashes down at him innocently, but her tone was the exact opposite. Josh's eyes were full of lust and excitement as he looked up at her, nodding as he was unable to formulate words.

He sat back up and kissed her roughly as she sank down onto him as best as she could, lips unattaching as they both reacted. Liv let out a surprised sound as her brows pinched together and she gripped his shoulders for support. She slapped her hand over her mouth. Josh held eye contact with her as he gripped her waist and inhaled shakily, trying to keep it together. He wanted to make sure she was enjoying it first before he let himself do so.

“God…” she finally moaned. Josh let a breathy moan slip out too. They both were gripping each other, panting and trying not to get too loud, but failing miserably. She rolled her hips, making his eyes roll back, much to her delight. He panted, repeating her name along with a string of curse words over and over again. Liv’s nails were digging into his shoulders and she moved, fitting as much of his (Wolf’s) dick as she could inside of her. She chose not to think about the fact that she was technically riding Wolf’s cock.

“Liv- Liv…” Josh whimpered, clearly trying to last as long as he could. She could feel by the way he was trembling and pulsing inside her that he was right on the edge. He’d been that way from the moment he’d been inside her.

“Josh,” She moaned into his mouth as she messily pressed her lips to his. Josh’s eyes rolled back again as Liv threaded her fingers through his hair and her nails lightly scratched at the nape of his neck.

“I’m gonna cum.” He moaned against her lips.

She pulled away with a teasing grin. “Oh- oh yeah?” God, even while she was riding his dick she was teasing him. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her tits as she continued to move up and down, and up and down, and up and-

Josh whimpered and whined, hands finally getting brave and sliding to grab her ass. Oh yeah. She was definitely into that. “Li-“ Josh couldn’t even finish moaning her name as he whimpered and buried his face in her shoulder. “Liv, I’m so close.” He moaned.

Liv’s head rolled back as she panted, letting out a whimper herself as she rode him like her life depended on it. “I’m really close too.” She whined, hand snaking down to touch herself somewhere that needed attention. Josh took the hint and replaced her hand, rubbing circles on her clit. “I’m really, really close.” She gasped, kissing his lips again. She let her hips roll again, Josh’s eyes rolled back and shut as his free hand shot up to the small of her back, pulling her body flush against his as he tried his best to move with her hips, slumping against the headboard for support.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered breathlessly, opening his eyes to look directly into hers. “You’re so fucking beautiful- Jesus!” His stomach flexed as he couldn’t hold it in any longer. That feeling drove Liv over the edge too, her body tensing around him. Josh kept his fingers rubbing circles on her clit, knowing he was doing something right by the way she was panting and cursing under her breath, her movements slowing down.

“Jesus, Liv…” Josh whined, watching her struggle to keep it together, and he loved it. That did it. She steadied herself by digging her nails into Josh’s shoulders as she came.

“Josh, oh God, oh fuck, oh Josh-“ Her repeating his name was like a choir of dirty angels singing to him. She collapsed against him, eyelids heavy from exhaustion, burying her face in the crook of his neck for a moment. She pulled her face away to look at him with her glossy eyes, cheeks glowing and flushed, and her eyelids still half lidded. “You’re- you’re okay?” She breathed out. Josh looked equally as flushed, his hair messy from Liv raking her fingers through it.

“I think I should be asking you that.” He chuckled wearily. Liv hadn’t moved off, twitching and heaving around his cock.

“I’m fine- I’m fine.” She panted. “You feel really good.”

“Jesus,” Josh gasped as she squeezed around him accidentally. “You feel like heaven.” He sharply inhaled. Liv kissed him gently on the lips, smiling. No one had ever told her that. She slowly lifted herself off of him, slumping down against him. Her lips grew more intense.

“I like this feeling.” She whispered as she pulled away. Josh’s fingers trailed around the small of her back and up her sides. She pushed herself up, sitting against his lower stomach as Josh’s fingers made their way around to her stomach and up to her tits.

“Remember what Kronish said about holding each other being the best part?” Josh whispered, motioning for her to lay down on him.

Liv gave a tired chuckle. “I do.” She laid on top of him, kissing him deeply. He rolled them both onto their sides as they kissed lazily, both giggling and pulling apart.

“It really is the best part.” Josh said as he pulled Liv into him and he buried his face in her neck.

Tiger helped Wolf sling his right arm over her shoulder as she helped him up the steps to Josh’s house. Tiger had ditched Liv and Josh and traveled to the 40s where she did NOT kill baby Kronish. Instead she became his nanny. For years.

Wolf had not in fact died like Tiger alluded to, instead he stayed up until the 90s, becoming a famous chef, feeding famous people from all over the world.

Tiger had come back to present day to find Wolf was dead, immediately finding his suicide note in the form of a recorded message left behind in their sewer lair. She traveled back to find Wolf right as he was about to end it in front of their good friend Skarsgaard, giving him another slice to the face to match his three scars on his right cheek.

Wolf was going through it, he couldn’t walk super well, he needed help standing up straight. Tiger, in full 40s attire with her gingham dress, kicked open her door to Josh’s house, only to be met with stares of random people.

“Um,” someone said, blinking at them. “Are you here for the party?” People were wearing headsets and pointing remotes at a huge TV, blending and drinking smoothies, and nowhere in this obnoxious and loud sea of people were the two little people they were looking for.

“Yes.” Tiger stated, adjusting her hold on Wolf.

“Where’s Liv?” Wolf asked, sounding pained. “And Josh too, I guess.” He grumbled at the end.

A sea of hands pointed towards the stairs towards Josh’s room.

“Thank you, strangers” Tiger nodded at them as she helped Wolf up the stairs.

“Liv has probably missed me so much, I never got to say goodbye.” Wolf said dramatically. An entire section of his suicide message was dedicated to her, saying how he loved her so much and wished she could have tried the food he made, thanking her for being the first to tell him how amazing the chocolate he made for the Kronish Ball was. It was sweet. Sickly sweet. It had made Tiger a little jealous even though the rest of it was dedicated to her.

“She’s fine.” Tiger sighed as they reached the top of the stairs. “They’re probably plotting how to get into the Kronitorium in Josh’s room.”

As they reached Josh’s room they paused. They could hear the strangled sounding moans coming from inside. Whimpers and moans.

“What’s going on?” Tiger pressed her ear to the door, assessing if there was a threat. “Wolf, do you hear that?” Wolf pressed his ear to the door too. “Are they being held host-“

“Fuck yeah, they’re fucking.” He nodded approvingly.

“They’re fucking what?” Then Tiger realized. She looked at Wolf with a horrified and disgusted look. “They’re having pleasure sex?!”

Their cuddling turned into a sloppy make out session, which turned back into touching each other and Liv back on top of Josh.

“You’re wet.” Josh muttered teasingly, tracing under her boobs.

“And you’re hard again, horn dog.” She retaliated, pressing her ass against his erection.

His muscles tensed. “Liv, you’re going to make me cum again.” He whimpered and looked at her with those puppy dog eyes.

“Maybe you should make me cum again too.” She grinned. Energy coursed through her body. Josh’s eyes lit up.

“How do you feel about being eaten out?”

“Josh Futturman!” She slapped his chest. “That’s inappropriate!” She teased, as if barely 40 minutes ago they weren’t moaning each other’s names inappropriately.

“Read the sign, Liv.” He pointed above him. She got all giggly as Josh turned the tables, flipping them over so she was underneath. “You didn’t answer my question by the way.” He began kissing her neck.

“I wouldn’t mind…” She gave a small squeal as she felt his tongue right under her jaw. She covered her face and giggled as he eagerly kissed down her boobs, down her stomach, all over her hip bones and thighs, and then finally to her pussy…

Josh actually loved eating her out, he could have spent forever with his head between her legs, enjoying the way her back arched off the bed as he spelled his name and her name in cursive over and over with his tongue over her swollen clit. He’d pulled her to the edge of the bed, slinging her legs over his shoulders as he knelt between her thighs on the floor. The way she kept moaning his name spurred him on, pressing kisses to the insides of her thighs to tease her every time her moans got loud and sounded like she was about to reach her climax, his revenge for the years of teasing he had to endure.

“You fucking suck, I hate you.” Liv whined as Josh evilly kissed the apex of her thigh.

Josh lifted his head, a giant grin on his face. “I fucking what?”

“I’m going to fucking kill you I swear to God.” Her hand moved down to do it herself, but Josh intertwined his fingers into hers to stop her.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” He asked. She was a mess, she could barely comprehend what he’d said.

“What? Shut up.” She huffed, squirming.

He chuckled, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “You’re so pretty.” He said sweetly as he smiled, climbing back up her body and getting on the bed.

“You’re lucky you are too.” Liv grabbed his head and pulled him down to her lips, tasting herself on his tongue. She was learning a lot about herself sexually today.

In the almost 2 hours they had been in his room, Liv had discovered that Josh was very, very sensitive. Everywhere. She discovered she particularly liked to run her fingers over the nape of his neck and feel him shiver, and every time she’d done it, without fail, he gave an involuntary whimper. She liked that.

Josh pulled away, narrowing his eyes at her. “What are you smiling for?”

Liv was grinning from ear to ear at the sound of his whimper. She really liked that. “Nothing.” She pushed herself up to her elbows. Josh sat next to her and pulled her into his lap again.

Of all the ways he held Liv, his favorite was to have her in his lap (he really just liked when she was on top of him, turns out). He lightly tickled her back as he looked deeply into her eyes. “You okay?” He asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“I mean,” he lightly chuckled at her adorable confused face as he drew his fingers up and down her shoulder blades. “I mean, like, after…everything.”

Oh yeah. They’d lost Wolf. She looked away. “Yeah. You helped take my mind off of it.” She gave him a small, sad smile.

“Yeah, you did too.” Liv rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes solemnly. She didn’t want to feel sad. She was in Josh’s naked lap for Christ’s sake, she didn’t want to be sad at all.

“How many more ‘JOOSH’ condoms do you have in there?” She nudged her head towards the bedside table. Josh flushed red, as if they hadn’t already done that.

“There’s a lot in there.” He murmured, fingers trailing around her stomach.

“Wanna use one more?”

Josh didn’t answer, instead he gently moved Liv off of him and reached over to open the drawer and grab another condom with his face on it. After rolling it on, Liv pushed him down, climbing back to straddle him. He wasn’t complaining, he rather liked the cowgirl position. They were laying on the bed sideways, Josh’s door in their peripheral. Liv steadied herself, placing her hands on his chest as she sank painfully slow down on his dick again. He let out a strangled moan, trying to keep his hips from bucking. She didn’t make a sound, just her mouth falling open and her eyes screwing shut as she took in as much as she could. He held her hips tightly, fingers digging into her.

“You’re perfect,” Josh groaned, looking up at her with those eyes again. Her eyelids fluttered open as her eyebrows pinched together, letting out a moan. Josh quivered and whimpered in response.

“Tiger, you can’t open the door.” Wolf huffed. “They’re charging in.”

“I know.” Tiger kept her ear pressed to the door. She could hear the way they were moaning and mumbling sweet nothings to each other. Gross.

“Charging in is actually a private thing.” Wolf said, steadying himself against the wall.

“You sound like Josh.” Tiger muttered. “God, if I hear him tell her she’s ‘perfect’ or ‘beautiful’ one more time, I’m going in there.”

Wolf’s eyes looked loving at the door, as if he could see inside. “I knew he thought that about her.” He said quietly.

Tiger finally huffed and yelled over the loud TV and loud people downstairs for Josh and Liv to hear. “Are you two done yet? You’re just whistlin’ dixie in there, we’ve got very important matters to discuss.” No response. Their moaning continued. The bed kept squeaking. Tiger looked annoyed.

“Tiger, don’t.” Wolf held a hand out to stop her, but it was too late. She threw the door open.

“Oh my God!” Liv and Josh both screamed, Josh quickly sitting up and pulling Liv against him to cover her somewhat.

“…Tiger?” Josh blinked in disbelief. Tiger looked between them, disgusted. When she threw open the door they had been kissing (rat hole to rat hole) with their tongues halfway down each other’s throat.

“WOLF?!” Liv cried, almost climbing off of Josh, who still was inside her. Wolf gave her a double thumbs up and a wink, but he looked like hell.

“Woah there, naked girl!” Josh held her tightly against him.

“You two are gross.” Tiger tried not to gag.

“I think this,” Wolf weakly pointed between Liv and Josh. “Is beautiful.” He leaned against the door frame for support.

“Can you, uh, maybe shut the door and let us get decent? We can celebrate and be reunited after we have clothes on.” Josh protectively covered Liv’s body by wrapping his arms around her.

“Just…get your dick out of her, Futturman,” Tiger mumbled, averting her eyes as she closed the door.

“My dick- Hi Liv!-“ Wolf was cut off by the door shutting. There was a moment of embarrassed silence between them.

“I have a feeling that will be the first of many.” Liv whispered, rocking her hips again.

“Liv!” Josh gasped.

“Just let me help you finish.” She whispered back, sliding herself up and down.

“Fuck…” Josh squeezed his eyes shut, face contorting with pleasure. Liv exhaled shakily against Josh’s shoulder as she moved. “You gonna cum too?” He whispered, stumbling over his words.

Liv panted in his ear. “Mhm-“ She felt Josh grip her hips. One of his hands moved up and reached her boob. “God…” she whispered, trying to keep quiet, knowing Tiger and Wolf were just outside the door. “You’re so pretty.” She complimented him, still panting in his ear.

“You’re prettier.” She could hear him trying not to moan loudly. Liv let herself sink deeper into Josh’s huge cock, starting to see stars.

“I think I can feel you fucking everywhere” She gasped.

Josh trembled as he spread her legs a tad wider. “Jesus fucking Christ…”

“We can still hear you.” Tiger’s voice was muffled from the other side of the door. Liv and Josh didn’t give a shit, they were so wrapped up in each other.

Liv knew her legs would ache later. “Fuck!” She whispered as her head rolled back. Josh took the opportunity to kiss her neck as her pussy spasmed around him, cumming all over him. As he tried to kiss down her throat, his lips fell to her shoulder as he came, hugging her close for support. They sat, panting and sweating, hearts pounding for a moment. The door creaked open again, this time Wolf peeking in. Josh protectively wrapped his arms around Liv again.

“Not to interrupt, but, um, do you have any coke?” He asked quietly. “Like...cocaine?”

“Wolf, I’m so happy to see you’re not dead, but I’m gonna have to ask you to wait a sec.” Liv panted.

“Right, sorry.” The door quietly closed.

Josh carefully lifted Liv off of him. “You’re messy.” He quietly teased, referring to the cum on his lap.

“Shut up.” Liv tiredly punched his arm. Grabbing a shirt, and some boxers, Josh hurriedly got dressed, promising Liv to go into the bathroom and get a washcloth to clean them both up. Trying to sneak out of his room, he was met with Tiger staring intensely at the door.

“Jesus!” He jumped back.

“Glad you got your dick wet.” She said dryly. “Now come on, we need to focus.”

“Good lord, can’t I go get a washcloth from the bathroom real quick?” Josh pushed past her and Wolf to the bathroom.

“Well, good day to you too, Future Man.”

“I saw you this morning and you were mean to me.” Josh called out over the commotion still happening downstairs. He emerged with a wet washcloth. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to provide Liv with aftercare and then I will let you guys in my room.”

Before he could hear their responses, he slid into his room and closed the door. Liv was still on his bed laying on her stomach flipping through a magazine with his- Joosh’s- face on it. “Hey stud,” she flipped the magazine around to show him pictures of him- Joosh- posing like a douche bag with the words “THE NEXT GENERATION” typed boldly over the top.

Josh grinned at her adoringly. “Shut up, Liv.” Seeing Liv laying naked in his room was giving him an adrenaline rush. “Let me clean you up.” He said as she sat up.

“Why thank you, Josh. Also, no offense, that sweater? Ugly as hell.” His sweater was eye offendingly bright with yellows, oranges, and a few splashes of other colors with random letters all over it, looking like they were smashed together and fighting to be at the front.

“What, you don’t like it?” Josh looked down at it.

“No.” Liv laughed, taking some of the sweater in her hands and trying to study it. “Is it supposed to say something? It has a lot of P's. Oh and there’s an S. And an A.”

Josh shrugged as he gently washed her thighs. “I don’t know, it was the first thing I grabbed.” He kissed her forehead.

After he was done, Josh grabbed Liv a less ugly sweater from his closet (she had a big opinion on every single one he pulled out except for a plain white one). She stole a pair of boxers with his face all over them, claiming, “They probably look cooler on me than they did on you.”

“JFUTZ.” He corrected as he watched her pull on her baggy shorts.

“Also, are we not going to talk about how JFUTZ has boxers with his face all over them?” She snickered and looked at him. “You’re technically him-“

“But I would never buy something like that.” He laughed. The door swung open.

“I’m really glad you’ve bonded. Really glad- it smells like an orgy in here.” Tiger rolled her eyes.

“The smell of love.” Wolf said in a low, slightly teasing voice as he strolled into the room. “So, you never told me, do you have coke in here?”

“No.” Josh looked annoyed. “How do you know what an orgy smells like?” Josh muttered, raising an eyebrow at Tiger.

“Wolf!” Liv flung herself at him. “Wolf, we thought you died!”

“Almost did,” Wolf held her tightly, looking so happy he might cry. “Almost did.” He looked up at Josh over Liv’s shoulder. “Hey Josh.”

“Hey Wolf, glad to see you’re not dead…where the hell were you guys by the way?” Josh eyed Tiger and Wolf’s clothes.

“The 40s.” Tiger said.

“The 90s.” Wolf groaned as Liv squeezed too tight. She let go, uttering apologies over and over to him. Wolf moved away, distracted, throwing the covers off of Josh’s bed.

“You’ve got to have coke in here somewhere.” He muttered, digging through the pillows. Liv watched, offended.

“The 90s? Wolf, you stayed in the 80s into the 90s?” Josh was shocked. “You’re telling me years of your lives have happened since this morning? Liv and I have been here for like…2 hours.”

“Time travel’s a real mindfuck.” Wolf said, grinning, but looking like he was in pain. “Is that different wallpaper?” He asked, finally noticing the room. “Are you sure you don’t have any coke?” He looked between Liv and Josh.

“Wolf, I already told you no.” Josh said.

“You think those space pirates downstairs have a hookup?” Wolf asked hopefully.

“First of all, those are my friends, not space pirates.” Josh said.

Liv made a face that showed her thoughts exactly, are you sure about that? She made the face behind Josh, but Wolf and Tiger caught it.

“Second of all, you need to clean up, Wolf.”

“Yeah, Wolf, you’re concerning me.” Liv said, folding her arms. “You don’t seem okay.”

“Okay, look,” Wolf put on his nicest smile. “I appreciate the concern, but I think if I just had a little cocaine I’d be able to think straight.” He was met with the unbelieving and concerned stares from Liv and Josh. “And then I’ll quit, I swear!”

“Wolf-“

“Crack is fine too, in a pinch!” He sounded desperate.

“God, Wolf. The 90s hit you hard.” Liv said sadly.

Tiger huffed. “Okay, enough of this jibber jabber, alright? We gotta skedaddle.” Liv gave her a weird look. She spoke in the most non-Tiger way she’d ever heard. “If the Kronitorium exists, then we don’t know how far along Kronish is with the cure. It might already be out there!”

“But we don’t even have a TTD, what are we gonna do?” Josh asked.

“We gotta find out what we’re up against in that building.” Tiger said.

“We can’t even go into the building, and I don’t think that you should either.” Liv said. “We tried to go in and they threw us out.”

“How about this,” Josh spoke up as Wolf groaned and crouched down in front of the closet, holding his knees to his chest. “Liv and I stay here and help Wolf get clean, and you can handle the recon, Tiger.”

Wolf barfed into the closet, making everyone groan and look away, having Kronish Ball flashbacks. “I puked in your Jordans” He groaned. Josh looked heartbroken, he didn’t know he owned Jordans until then.

“Well, it’s not gonna be pretty, this little angel has got the devil up in him.” Tiger walked over to Wolf, crouching down and rubbing his back comfortingly.

“Oh, we can handle Wolf.” Josh said. “And I know just where to send you.”

Josh sent Tiger to go track down Stu, the only employee he knew personally who still worked for Kronish as a scientist. He was hoping he might have some information on Kronish. Liv strapped Wolf down to Josh’s bed, repeating apologies over and over.

“Wolf, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but I have to do this-“

“You know, I opened a restaurant in the 80s.” Wolf said, sweating buckets. Together Josh, Liv, and Tiger had stripped Wolf to a white tank top and his boxers after he vomited all over himself.

“Really?” Liv was half listening as she put a strap around his right ankle.

“I named a dish after you, Liv. It was a dessert, a chocolate truffle. I missed you a lot.”

Liv looked at poor, poor Wolf. He looked awful. “I missed you too Wolf…in the few hours I didn’t see you.” She smiled softly.

“I did cocaine up my ass too.”

“Oh.” She made a face. “That’s…that’s really something, Wolfie.”

“I can’t believe you had sex with Josh in this very bed-”

“Hey Wolf, let’s talk about something else.” Liv interrupted him loudly..

Josh poked his head into the room. “Hey Liv, you wanna come downstairs soon?” He asked. She looked at the sweaty and vomit smelling mess that was Wolf.

Be with the random strangers that Josh thinks are his friends or risk being puked/shit on? She thought to herself. “I’m coming.” She sighed.

As they walked down the stairs Josh was beaming. “I’m a video game programmer here. I made the games they’re playing downstairs. In VR.”

“I thought JFUTZ made those games?” She smirked at him. He blushed as he realized what he’d said.

“Yeah, I meant JFUTZ.”

The VR video games that Joosh made were amazing. Liv didn’t know you could snowboard and shoot yetis at the same time, but she sure did after playing Snowboard Pro 3. The crowd had died down a bit, and Liv was actually able to catch a couple of the people’s names. In the kitchen, a guy named Xolo showed her how to make the “perfect” smoothie.

“Your boyfriend is, like, super into clean living.” He said, blending the apple cider vinegar, strawberries, spinach, and a bunch of protein powders together.

Liv didn’t think it looked appetizing at all, but she nodded along. “Cool!”

“I’ll make you one too.” Xolo grinned at her. “I can make you a pina colada one!”

“You better make one for Joosh too, he loves pina coladas!” She said with a big smile, high fiving Xolo over the counter.

Liv and Josh bounced from the kitchen to the living room, trying more of Xolo’s smoothie creations, which were actually quite delicious, and playing video games. Liv prefered sitting on the couch, watching Josh excitedly play the different video games Joosh had developed. As much as the energy was thriving in the room, she still wasn’t sure she liked “the crew”, except for Xolo, she was still on the fence about Paul and Tracy. She watched the TV as Josh crashed into a tree in the game, bringing him to a “GAME OVER” screen. She listened to Tracy and Paul snicker at his loss as Josh took off the headset and looked embarrassed.

“I died pretty fast.” He mumbled.

“Yeah, uh, that’s a tricky level.” Paul said, doubling over with laughter as he looked at Liv and Tracy. It definitely had been an easy level. Xolo brought Josh another smoothie.

“Hey, thanks man.” He said gratefully, taking a sip. “Ooh, Liv, this one’s peach.” He turned around, holding the cup out for her to try. A lull in the conversations around let Josh and Liv hear Wolf groaning and crying upstairs.

“Josh!” He was crying. Josh looked confused.

“I’m surprised he’s not crying for you.” He muttered to Liv.

“Who’s Josh?” Someone asked.

“I’m shitting your bed again.” Wolf cried. Josh inhaled deeply, trying to keep his cool.

“I think that’s why.” Liv whispered, looking apologetically at him.

“You’re coming with me.” Josh whispered.

Entering Josh’s room almost made both of them pass out. “Oh, God, Wolf!” Josh recoiled. It smelled like death and puke and shit.

“Come here Josh, please come here.” Wolf groaned.

“Please come here, come on, come on, buddy.” Josh inched closer, shooting Liv a fearful look. “I just need a bump and 20 bendy straws.” Wolf wept.

“Wolf. No, there’s no coke here. Turns out, JFUTZ’s body is a temple,” Josh said as Wolf thrashed against his restraints. “He’s really into clean living and I respect him. We got super fruits?” He offered.

“Yeah, Wolf, we’ve got a lot of things, but all healthy. No coke. Sorry.” Liv said, standing at the foot of the bed.

Wolf was throwing a fairly silent tantrum as he thrashed around.

“I mean, try some of this super smoothie,” Josh held out the smoothie cup for Wolf. “It’ll pick you right up.” Wolf head butted the cup out of Josh’s hands. It spilled all over his face. “Jesus!” Josh backed away.

“COKE!” Wolf cried out. Josh turned to Liv looking pissed off.

“Wolf, we’re only trying to-“

“COKE!!!!” Wolf screamed at Liv, shaking. Josh rolled his eyes and took Liv’s hand, leading her out of his room.

“Poor Wolf,” Liv said sadly as she followed Josh down the stairs.

“He’s an asshole.” Josh grumbled. Liv punched his arm. Hard. “Liv!”

“He’s an addict in recovery, you’re the asshole.” She said sternly.

The front door swung open in front of them. Tiger was back. “Hey.” She heaved a sigh of relief when she saw them. She was holding a plate full of food covered by Saran Wrap.

“What’s that?” Josh leaned forward curiously. Tiger covered the plate with her hand.

“It’s leftovers from the meal I made for Stu. I pulled a little 40s charm on him and he let me into his house to make him a home cooked meal. Got some information outta him too. Where’s Wolf?” She asked.

“Tied to Josh’s bed. He’s not doing too well.” Liv said, jabbing her thumb up in the direction of Josh’s room.

“He’s probably starving!” She scolded Liv and Josh. “A home cooked meal can solve anything.” She marched past them and up the stairs towards the room. Hearing Tiger say the most house wife things in her deadpan and stern voice was so strange.

Josh turned to Liv. “She wasn’t always like that, right? Or am I crazy?”

“We’re both seeing the same thing. The 40s really changed her.” Liv said.

“Wanna play Snowpocalypse?” Josh asked, completely changing the subject.

Liv paused. “Um,” she blinked. “You can. I’ll just, um, I’ll watch you again…or something.”

“You worried I’ll actually be better than you at this one?” He teased. Liv had been way better than him at every game they’d played so far.

Liv shrugged. “No, I’m kinda just sick of video games.” She said.

Josh deflated. “Oh…that- that’s okay, we’ve been playing for a while anyways.”

Liv pursed her lips. “Mhm.” She tried not to let her annoyance show. The entire time since they’d emerged from Josh’s room it was all they (mostly Josh) had done. Liv had talked to Josh’s “friends” more than he had. And she still didn’t really like them. “Go have fun playing…that snow game.”

“I thought you were gonna watch?”

“I will! I’m just gonna go make sure Wolf’s okay.”

Josh nodded understandingly. “Okay, okay, go make sure he’s not puking all over Tiger.” He joked, giving her a small smile.

When Liv approached Josh’s door she heard Wolf sobbing. Great. She thought. He was still bawling. She opened the door to find him crying, but smiling too. He had a mouth full of roast in his mouth. Tiger sat next to him, feeding him the food on the plate.

“Wolf?” Liv asked.

“I can taste it!” He sobbed happily. “I can taste it!”

Tiger was smiling down at him as she fed him. “He can taste it.” She repeated, shrugging. Liv liked this new maternal Tiger, she wasn’t as mean and snippy.

Together Tiger and Liv cleaned Wolf up, Tiger helped bathe him and Liv threw JFUTZ’s bed sheets in a garbage sack. Wolf looked a lot better as he sauntered back into the room in a fluffy white robe with a towel wrapped around his head.

“Hey, Wolf,” She said gently, holding her arms out for a hug. Wolf fell into them graciously.

“I’m so sorry I yelled at you.” He mumbled into her shoulder. “I was half hallucinating back there. Corey Hart sang to me.”

“Oh my God,” Liv pulled away, laughing. “I’m glad to see you’re doing better now.”

“So.” Wolf smirked down at her as he stood up straight. “Tell Wolf, what’s going on with you and Josh?”

Before Liv could answer, Tiger was in the doorway, back in her regular Tiger attire. “Go get Josh, we need to have a chat.” She said.

“O-okay.” Liv looked confused and slightly scared. She slowly walked down the stairs to see Josh with the headset back on, imitating the motion of skiing. There was a whole group of people behind him on the couch cheering him on.

“Oh my God! I’m flying through the sky!” He exclaimed. Liv marched up behind him and took the headset off of him. “Hey! I was just about to stick my landing in Snowpocalypse-“ he turned around to see it was Liv, folding her arms. “Oh, hey, it’s you!” He grinned at her. “You should try this one Liv, it’s really fun.”

“I’m good.” Liv muttered, dropping the headset on the ground. “Tiger wants us upstairs. Like now.”

Tiger had gotten some interesting information out of Stu Camillo. He’d invited her over to his house after she helped him clean up his spilled groceries in the parking lot of a gas station, to which she’d offered to make him a home cooked meal. Stu had told her Kronish was secretive, frighteningly so, and that he’d been hiding away for years working on his project. Stu had told her that no one in the lab knew what they were working on, but Tiger knew, the super cure. He told Tiger that in two days' time he would reveal what it was. That was a relief to her, they still had time.

JFUTZ had turned his parents' old room into some sort of meditation/dojo room, that’s where Tiger wanted them to meet. Tiger told them to change into something quote, “more moveable and less disgusting” (she said that last one straight to Josh). Josh changed into a still eye blisteringly neon green tank top and shorts, while Liv opted to change back into her yellow tank top.

“Alright, so,” Tiger clapped her hands loudly to get everyone’s attention. Wolf sat in the corner clutching a smoothie, still in his fluffy robe. “The information I got out of Stu is a little alarming. Kronish is two days away from releasing his research. We need to kill him AND destroy his research AND blow up the Kronitorium. This is our only chance.”

Josh stretched an arm across his chest. “Wow, so we’re going full on T2.” He said.

“Judgement Day.” Wolf said from his corner. “Arnold was a frequent customer at Wolfhart’s, and a good friend.” He sighed, reminiscing. “Oh man, we had some sexcapades.” He sipped his smoothie.

Josh looked at Liv with raised eyebrows. Tiger waved her hand, trying to get the attention back on her. “This mission calls for a much bigger kill team but…this is all we have…so…we’re gonna have to train you guys up.”

Liv and Josh nodded, knowing this was coming. “Okay, um, athletic stance and start sparring with one of you guys, or each other, or…” Josh asked.

Tiger and Wolf started chuckling, looking at each other and shaking their heads. Josh turned his head to Liv, worried he’d said the wrong thing.

“Spar, oh, no, I think we’ll, uh, I think we’ll have you start on someone around both of your skill levels.” Tiger stepped over to a crate, taking the top off. An uncanny valley life sized doll with enormous tits sat inside. Josh and Liv both recoiled in shock.

“What the hell is that?” Liv asked. “And why is it so creepy?”

“I do not know why you have this, but she was on your doorstep, and, um, she’ll do.” Tiger looked at her two new students. “So let’s begin.”

Pt. 2

[kittysdiary]

Chapter 4: Medical Esthetic Procedure Contraindications



So you’re considering getting some medical esthetic procedures done. That’s hot! But before you schedule an appointment or consultation here’s a quick guide of contraindications to be aware of!!

What is a Contraindication?

A contraindication is a condition we look for in the medical field that serves as a reason to not continue forward with a medical treatment due to potential harm the treatment may cause to a patient!

Laser Hair Removal:

Herpes and Cold Sores: Can you get laser hair removal with herpes or cold sores? Yes! But only if there is not an active breakout. We do warn the clients that the lasers we use are powerful enough to cause a herpes or cold sore breakout to occur so please proceed with caution!

Retinol: Use of Retinol’s are a huge no no! It can cause severe damage, burning or scaring if a laser is used! If you are on Retinol please stay off of it for 1 week before your laser hair removal procedure.

Seizures + Epilepsy: If you have a history of epilepsy please refrain from getting any laser or light treatment as it can induce seizures.

Bacterial Skin Infections: Infections can spread to other parts of the body if a laser is used.

Impetigo: This highly contagious superficial skin infection is something we as your medical esthetician should be aware of before continuing with treatment.

Cellulitis: This infection of the dermis and subcutaneous tissue should be cleared before you continue with any laser or light therapy.

Folliculitis: Laser treatments are not performed in areas of folliculitis but several hair removal lasers have been approved by the FDA for pseudofolliculitis barbae treatment.

Fungal Infections: Ringworm and Yeast Infections can not be treated with laser or light therapy until cleared.

Viral Infections: Active viruses are considered major contraindications for laser and light therapy.

Shingles: If there is an active outbreak laser treatment will not be used.

Common Skin Warts (HPV): Although some lasers are used to remove persistent warts, they are still considered contraindications.

Atopic Dermatitis (Eczema): You will not be disqualified as a candidate for laser treatment, unless the outbreak is in an area of proposed treatment.

Open Lesions, Rashes and Sunburns: This includes open lesions from picking at the skin. Any unknown lesions or rashes will be considered contraindications. Sunburns are known to disrupt the skin barrier and are considered contraindications. Any suspicious lesions should always be evaluated by a physician prior to treatment.

Accutane: You must be off of Accutane for at least six months to a year, depending on a physician’s  preference prior to treatment with laser or light therapy.

Immediate Post-Operative Face Lift, Blepharoplasty or Neck Lift: Treatment is avoided for clients who are in post op from these treatments until a physician has given approval for laser or light treatment. 

Pregnancy and Lactation: Pregnancy and lactation are considered contraindications women who are pregnant or lactating, should wait after pregnancy + breastfeeding so a child will not be exposed before beginning or continuing laser or light treatment. 

Laser Tattoo Removal:

Laser tattoo removal shares the same contraindications as laser hair removal.

Red Tattoo Ink: Red tattoo ink is known to be allergenic. If you have experienced an allergic reaction to red tattoo ink, be aware that another allergic reaction may occur if a red ink tattoo is being removed by laser. 

Retinol + Accutane

Pregnancy and Lactation

Bacterial Infections

Viral Infections

Fungal Infections

History of Epilepsy or Seizures

Open Skin Lesions, Sunburns and Rashes

Microneedling:

Herpes + Coldsores: Please wait until an outbreak is fully healed! Estheticians can avoid microneedling the mouth area if you do have an outbreak but it is best to wait until the outbreak is fully healed to avoid any spreading.

Active Acne: Areas of active acne can be skipped over but if there is an all over outbreak it is best to wait.

Rosacea: Clients with vascular rosacea can receive treatment, but not pustular or nodular rosacea wait until the information has settled.

Atopy, Asthma, Hay Fever and Allergies: Any patient with a history of allergies maybe prone to urticaria, after needling due to the release of histamines.

Anticoagulants: Any supplements, known to prolong, bleeding time, may not necessarily be discontinued from treatment, but the risk of bruising increases.

Drugs and Supplements Associated with Photosensitivity: Any drug and supplement that can cause photosensitivity including Accutane is considered a contraindication. 

Fitzpatrick III and Above: Those with darker skin tones are not disqualified from treatment but it should be known that skin will appear puffy, bruising, if present might be visible in thin skinned areas and erythema (skin redness)  when super-imposed on brown, appears much darker. Patience with melasma or post. Inflammatory hyperpigmentation must understand that lesions will appear darker for several months before improving.

PSA: There are certain ingredients to avoid using when it comes to dermal needling. Ingredients to avoid include preservatives, fragrances, emulsifiers, emollient acids, dyes, coloring agents, and UV filters 

Before receiving a dermal needling treatment, you may be asked by your provider about allergy or medication, history, blood pressure/medication, bleeding disorders, eczema, psoriasis, immune system disorders, keloid, scarring, major illnesses, heart conditions, anemia and a lot of other general medical questions.

Body Contouring

Pregnancy and Breast-Feeding

HIV/AIDS

All forms of Cancer

Undergoing Chemotherapy

Immunodeficiency

Lupus

High Blood Pressure

Uncontrolled Diabetes

Keloid Scarring

Excessive Pigmentation

Vein Inflammation

Steroid Medication

Chemical Peels + Laser Resurfacing

Sunburn

Recent Surgery or Scars: Wait 6 months

Open Lesions, Skin Diseases, Inflammation, Varicose Veins, Infection, Metal Implants, Metal Screws, Metal Contraceptive Coil + Prothesis/Silicone Implants: Area will be avoided

Antibiotics: Must wait until completed medication course

Depilatory Creams: Wait 2 weeks

IPL or Laser Treatment: Area that received laser or light therapy must wait 2 weeks before receiving body contouring.

Areas with Botox: Wait 3 months before receiving body contouring.

Areas with Dermal Filler: Wait 2 weeks before receiving body contouring.

Sun Tan: Will be avoided

Chronic Inflammation: Speak with your healthcare provider before proceeding forward with a body contouring treatment.

PSA: Before receiving body contouring, your hydration levels will be checked your body must be 40% or higher for your hydration level. Hydration levels below 40% can cause cat like scratch sensations when receiving body contouring. Which is why low levels of hydration are considered a contraindication and you must wait until your hydration levels are at 40% before receiving treatment.



[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness - Redux 14. Overwrite Save Data

“Feel free to come to me whenever you’d like. I’ll be there,” Dickens reassured Turtle Dove, while Turtle Dove continued to stare down at the floor. Not dirty, but never clean.

Turtle Dove nodded, gave a thumbs up.

The door slid open, then closed.

Moment of silence, followed by another few moments.

What was I expecting? Turtle Dove asked himself. Is it not enough to have some support?

Moment after moment.

The door slid open.

“You look down,” croaked the husky and sultry voice of Turtle Dove’s roommate. The Selkie.

“I’m looking downward,” Turtle Dove corrected.

He didn’t bother to look Tempy’s way. In truth, he didn’t even understand what he had to be upset about. Unless him being upset was something Tempy planned for – in which case, he had even less reason to be upset.

“I take it things didn’t go well with Dickboy?” She strolled over next to him. Turtle Dove tried keeping focus on the floor, the same floor with nothing to focus on. Try as he might, those thick legs, which even through her pants, he could see the lining of her thigh-high stockings. How certain thoughts screamed at him to reach over, squeeze those thighs, but it wouldn’t have been right, it wouldn’t have been…

“Dickens,” Turtle Dove gazed up and corrected, only to find Tempy not in front of him, but rather, seated beside him, her voluptuous frame pressing down against the fiber mattress and leaving a wide indentation. Her floral scent, her scent of fresh rain, and the hint of a muddy forest, mingled into one and sent shivers down his spine. It wasn’t perfume. He read about it in the manual. ‘Pheromones’.

But most Selkie pheromones were scentless, or too faint to pick up. He knew there was still attraction with each and every living being he encountered, but he swore on whatever false deity ruled over him, that it must have been intentional when it came to Tempy. If not perfume, or soap, or shampoo, maybe it was some kind of mind virus that she had infected him with.

“I won’t touch you. Not without your permission, at least,” she leaned into his ear and whispered.

Turtle Dove shivered. He knew what she was doing, and any other time, he may have given in.

“I take it he rejected you,” she said, her tone normal and her lips away from his ear.

“There was never a confession to begin with,” his own tone began to lighten. “He thought I needed advice, and his advice boiled down to, ‘get laid.’ And by that, he meant, ‘lay your Selkies.’ I wonder if that’s his answer for everything.”

Turtle Dove laughed and shook his head.

“So you’re disappointed because he didn’t lay you, is that it?”

“I guess? I’m disappointed that everywhere I turn, it’s just sex, sex, sex. Where does it end? This can’t be what I came here for.”

“You had a crush on him.”

“I don’t know! I found him attractive, and I thought he was nice. I guess he’s still both of those things.”

“Are you into men, specifically?”

Turtle Dove shook his head.

“I had a boyfriend, actually. His name was Blake Slait. I remember, we met on a rooftop. It was like love at first sight, for both of us, or at least for him. For me, I came and went as I pleased. I reached out into the air and dissolved into feathers. Then, we found each other again, in an abandoned hospital. We traversed a world where the streets were empty in the day, and angels were killing angels in a red-tinted world at night. We fought to survive, but more than that, we were free.”

“Did you do butt stuff?” She sneered.

“No! We didn’t do anything dirty like that! We were wholesome! We hugged, we kissed, we held hands. Stuff like that.”

“And? Why is anal not ‘wholesome’? Do you know how many germs hands have? Or lips? Did you know that you can spread herpes through your lips?”

Turtle Dove smiled.

“You’re right. I’m being a fool. And when I think of those times, they don’t even feel like me. Like, I know it was someone named Turtle Dove who had those experiences, but dissolving into feathers? That doesn’t sound real. And that thing about the angels and red-tinted world? What is that all about?”

“Sounds like a dream.”

“It must have been. What about you? Do you dream?”

He faced Temperance and for once, he stared into her eyes. Were they always green, or just for tonight? She stared back into his. Without jacking on, he couldn’t see whatever she saw in him.

“Yes. I dream when I sleep. It’s important to enter sleep mode so my system can refresh. And no, I don’t dream of electric sheep.”

“What kind of dreams do you have?”

“Same as yours: lifetimes that aren’t mine, but share my name.”

Turtle Dove tried to imagine the kind of dreams Tempy may have had; dreams where she was an explorer with a whip and wore a fedora? Where she found lost treasure and evaded traps, while fighting soldiers of an evil regime? Or a dream where she was a schoolgirl and had a romance filled with roses and lilies in the background? But then those ideas gave way to the very reminder of what all Selkies shared: memories of someone else.

“How does it feel to have memories of being someone else?” Turtle Dove asked.

Tempy recoiled, raised her hand and her face stretched in disgust. But rather than do anything else with her hand, she changed her expression to her trademark smirk.

“You sure like asking invasive questions,” she said. “What can be gained by asking that? Need I remind you, Selkies are not human.”

“I know that, but –”

Temperance stood up and climbed up to the top bunk of their bunk bed.

“It just so happens that I’m getting tired. You should get some rest too.”

His jaw dropped. Of course, he knew he should have expected such a reaction. All day she had seemed disappointed in him, and while he would have liked to make it up to her in some way, another part of him just couldn’t sit still.

“I want to know you better, Tempy. I don’t care if you’re not human, you still matter to me regardless.”

“That’s nice of you to say,” she replied with an exaggerated, fake yawn.

“I’m sorry if I brought up something uncomfortable for you. Really. And we don’t have to be friends, or lovers, or anything like that. But we are working together, and you have helped me so much rralready. I’ve told you about my past life, or at least what felt like a past life.”

“Who said I’m uncomfortable? And you want to know more about me? Easy. I’ve lived through several commanders. Year after year, other Selkies die and get replaced, while I manage to keep myself alive. It doesn’t bother me, in fact, I revel in it. Those memories, the one who my form is modeled after, mean little to me. Or maybe it meant much more when I was first awakened. Now, however, I’ve overwritten those old memories through my long life as a Selkie.”

“Is that possible? To create strong enough memories that they overwrite the old ones?”

“It’s all bits of data, isn’t it?”

“You’re much older than I thought,” Turtle Dove remarked, and for a moment forgot about his previous objective.

“We don’t age. We become outdated, but we never age.”

“I know that. They’re born as the age that you are, many not even living for a month before being replaced by another model. But you tell me you’ve been around for years?”

“Haven’t you as well?”

Turtle Dove thought. How the moment he walked into the military base, it was like coming out of the womb. But even then, he remembered his village. The small place, with their brick and ceramic buildings. Middle aged women in thick robes tending to gardens and selling vegetables. He and his sister...his sister…

“Yeah,” he answered.

“How long?”

“What do you mean?”

“Never mind. Let’s get to sleep.”

The darkness was inviting. His thin blanket, its lack of warmth, called out to him. It wouldn’t keep him from shivering, but it would cover him all the same. As hard as he wished Tempy would crawl into his bed and hold him while they slept, he knew he had to sleep all the same.

What desires do I have? What keeps me from sleeping tonight? He asked himself, now head upon the lumpy pillow, curled up and shivering in the thin, white blanket.

“Are you still awake?” He asked into the darkness, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Only because you keep talking.”

His cheeks flushed.

“Sorry. I’m just having trouble sleeping.”

“Maybe if you stopped trying to make conversation.”

She was right. Didn’t mean it didn’t sting.

“Are you annoyed by me?” Turtle Dove asked.

Tempy didn’t answer.

Maybe I’ll just talk to myself and if she answers, that’s great. If not, I’ll just keep talking until I fall asleep. Sure, I’m being annoying. Needy, even. There’s technically no curfew. I don’t have to sleep. I could leave this room right now and go into my lab. I’m sure at least one of my other Selkies wouldn’t mind me bothering them. But for whatever reason, it’s Tempy that I want.

“So let’s say I was attracted to Dickens. Aren’t commanders supposed to be attracted to Selkies? What if he was secretly a Selkie?”

“He’s not,” came Tempy’s answer. Prompt. Devoid of emotion.

“But how can you tell?”

“Male Selkies don’t exist,” again, simple answer. He smiled. Even if it was a simple question and answer, it was enough.

“And why is that?”

“Officially, it’s said that the military tried to create male Selkies, but they weren’t compatible with the project. In truth, they very well could create male Selkies if they wanted to, and Selkies are all women for the male commander’s satisfaction.”

“But there are women who work in the military, too. And there’s you. Why do you pretend to be human, anyway?”

“Why do you?”

“I don’t!” Turtle Dove choked out a laugh, held back tears, and didn’t know why he did either.

“How do you know you’re human?” She asked.

“I…I have blood,” he answered. It was a weak answer, he knew. “But fine. Pheromones aside, how does one tell if someone’s a Selkie? Especially if their bodies are so identical to a person’s.”

“There’s one surefire way: slit your wrists deep enough to reach in. If you pull out veins, you’re human, and you’re likely to die. If you’re a Selkie, they will be wires.”

“That sounds dangerous.”

“It is. And it works.”

He gulped. The imagery of red blood cells, floating through one’s wrists and the veins connecting the arms, like city streets for the cells to drive upon. He didn’t know what veins looked or felt like, but he knew wires.

“I still wish to understand. These things with memories.”

“Of course you wouldn’t let up. Let me tell you one of my most striking memories: one Selkie, watching another from afar. In love with the other Selkie. But such things aren’t allowed, or wouldn’t work. If they’re lucky, a commander might be okay with two Selkies in his party loving each other, as long as they still have sex with him. But this isn’t one of those cases.”

“Were you in love with another Selkie?”

“I’m telling you about something I’ve seen. I don’t think Selkies can feel love.”

“Did that help overwrite your old memories?”

“No.”

“I wish I understood.”

“Have you ever had flashbacks to the moment of your death, but you know it’s not you dying?”

Images of a Corrector’s teeth against his (sister’s) face manifested.

“No,” he lied.

“How ignorant you are.”

Those words closed the night.

[tips-from-john]

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[macaroni-rascal]

Pt. 2 women's FS.

I will forever hold it against Carolina for unleashing the scourge that is Bolero upon us, because it's been like herpes these past few seasons. Again with the knockoff choreography. Caro was a very mature skater when she did it and she could be sultry without it being too much. This dress, while not awful, I found a tinge too sexy, but I guess I have to remember these are no longer the cute juniors we used to watch on the JGP circuit. This would've worked better as an SP dress for some reason. You have to wonder what ideas come from the coaches and choreographers versus the skaters themselves. Imo this is not Mana's natural style, the program kinda ran away from her, but if this is her experimenting, I'd rather she go in a more original direction. Her coach's fashion sense doesn't give me hope, though.

Mone's dress was the most skating dress to ever skating dress. The darker hue at the front should've started lower. I wouldn't have objected to it too much if it weren't for those damn sleeves. I appreciate that there was something in the hair but this whole look and program is just not a good fit for what I perceive to be a rather unique and energetic skater. It's like they put her on mute. Why try to conform her? Kaori didn't win 2 world titles and an Olympic medal by being someone she isn't. They need to lean into her effervescence, this is all too forgettable and generic for such a memorable skater. Nice to see Cathy Reed listed as a coach, but can we please be done with the Mie Hamada era already?

Niina - similar dress struggles as in the SP, but I much prefer this one. The color is great and the gold detail matches it well, and velvet is such a classy and currently underused fabric. The pentagram on the front is a confounding choice, but hey, it summoned her a medal? The back is better than the front, but the sleeve length and the skirt cut off her lines pretty harshly, she needs to be in an A-line skirt that fans out from her actual waist, and not where these two random lines are positioned. I appreciate that she had a defined vibe between the two programs, though. I didn't realize she was coached by Helen Mirren.

And just when we thought things couldn't possibly get worse for Isabeau, wtf is this atrocity? If you had a champion on your hands (whether she should be scoring what she is is a different conversation), would you send her out looking like a plucked chicken??? This is hands down one of the worst things I've ever seen in skating, and worst-dressed of the weekend, no contest. Do you think they know what the story of the White Crow is? Or the difference between a crow and a magpie? Did they cause a fabric shortage by making that skirt? We need to stage an intervention to pry this girl our of Julia's claws because she's actively choking her through sartorial over-saturation. And to use music that's already been done beautifully by some of the sport's most talented and to subject her to the comparison after teaching her that non-technique is just cruel. I'm even more perplexed after seeing her exhibition costume, which wasn't half-bad (actually, let's not get into how a 16yo was writhing on the floor to Madonna yet). I'm incensed by all of this and the fact that it's being rewarded.

Now for a sharp right turn from the worst to the best - Amber! Finally a dress befitting her beauty! Gold star all around! A stunning color on her, so subtle yet beautiful, and look! They even found her waist! Everything was perfect - from the draping to the proportion to the stoning. Her back is what Young's SP dress could've been. Thrilled about her 3A but there was a sense of "here we go again" in the second half. They really need to figure out the stamina and layout issues already. Send her to Ravi or someone else who will make her practice full run-throughs. I need her, Romsky, Deniss and Camden to form a support group for skaters crushed by the weight of their immense talent and figure this out, it shouldn't hurt this much to stan them. Welp, at least she won the best-dressed title here.

Long live Queen Loena, she threw down in a way only she can, and she's such an important role model in the sport and proponent of health. Let's not peak too early again, though. Now, here's the thing. How is this different from what she did in the short? Or the previous few years? It's like Adam saw P/C's waacking RD and F/G's Vogue and thought - this is what skating should be, and nothing else. Having seen Nikita's programs, I get the sense that the only culture her team consumes is Drag Race (which, I'm the one to talk, but never mind that now, I'm not the one making the decisions here), and they're stuck in the club and can't get out. I mean, she did everything but shablam at the end. Giving her pop diva music is a solid idea and Beyonce is a step in the right direction, but it's like she's really working to put the choreo she's been given to the music, and there's no melody to let her do it. The dress is basically Hubbell's Burlesque outfit, and it's simultaneously too little and too much. What I would've done is I would've taken the black bodysuit, gotten rid of the skirt, and if we're already doing a bedazzled booty, I would've basically used rhinestones to fake a Madonna-esque corset and it could've been iconique. I'm here for the sparkly gloves but I'd yeet the choker into space. They could've also taken inspo from Ms. Carter's recent killer looks. This is better music than the short but it's still too unz unz unz to flow, and singles and pairs need melody, while dance utilizes rhythm, which is why all attempts to do the reverse fail. The bottom line is: I can see her coaching and choreo team live their dreams through her, and I'm not quite sure we're seeing her in this fully. We know she has a life outside of skating and experiences she could mine (btw, what happened to Brandon? He had a team here but didn't show up, it must've been messy), and every time someone is committed to putting on a show, I wonder if they're avoiding vulnerability. Idk, I struggle with this because I do luv her, but I'd like to see her in the hands of someone else, maybe Jeremy and Massimo? (Not Benoit. Never Benoit.) When she's up against the likes of Kaori and Yelim, who both have more elevated material, and they all nail... Who will the judges go with? Herein lies the rub. She could win the title this year since the Korean fed is useless and Kaori is exhausted, but is this the material to help her do that? Great hair, makeup and accessories, as usual. I appreciate that she's breaking the mold, but they're creating a mold of their own at this point.

Just overall across SkAm I noticed a neglect of the hair as an opportunity for adding an extra oomph, and the men in the dance in particular have no excuse for this. There's barely any true 80s hair. I know they probably outlawed the hairspray everyone was using at the time a long time ago, but I'd like to see literally any effort, there was so much emphasis in the RD Comm about the spirit of the 80s and and those hairstyles done been exorcised of it.

Well, I guess that's it, huh? What a long and rollercoaster of a weekend. Btw, I'd use the medals and the opening group number in the gala as arguments that Texas should never host anything skating-related ever again. Ashley looked great, though, and it was nice to see her doing well. Mariah really didn't need that schmoozing moment with Eteri, but she shouldn't have been put in the position to have to interact with her as a host there, either. Zak looked great in his fitted shirt in the EX so he should reconsider that green pillowcase with a neck cut out he was wearing in the FD. And wth is the Germans' EX, is she supposed to be blind in it? You'd think someone would reject an idea like that from the outset, but someone placed 6th at the 2018 Olympics with similar nonsense in the dance, so why would they? Anyway, I'm so excited for next week, when I get to drag Wesley's R&J shirt and see whether Piper and Paul will delight or disappoint me. Toodeloo!

More correct opinions! Thanks for sharing all your wonderful thoughts, nonny. It was so fun reading all these!

[outkast28]

Forward or Backwards..

It’s weird. I know I’ve grown and evolved a bit, yet I’m still in this same space with women. Not to worry, being in the same relationship for almost 6 years and engaged for 2 of those years, didn’t stop me from being where I was 8 years ago… I took what didn’t work so well with the last one, assessed this one, and thought I was off to a good start…

I’m currently lost in my own head, once again. Why am I not enough? Do I not give you enough attention? Do you miss them that much?? Smh. She’s wearing my ring and still making me look and feel stupid. Why can’t you just let things be? What’s the missing value being taken away from your life? Why do you fucking still care? She hit you whenever she pleased and he can only give you herpes, soooo…..

Should I leave it alone? Address it and get blamed for whatever reason that lead to it? I don’t like how I’m still feeling, after all these years. Do I still have triggers from past relationships?? I’d say so, but I didn’t think it was forcing me to cause problems today. I love how I love, in spite of what I hate. The feelin is what hits home for me. ..

Fuck it.

1158 081423

[imdoingwhateverisnext]

Maintaining Professionalism

Sometimes someone will say something so off-putting, hilarious, weird, or disgusting, it will challenge my ability to maintain my professionalism.

Things I have heard people say in the Emergency Department. I challenge anyone to try and stay stoic after hearing these words:

---"Will you marry me? I just got diagnosed with herpes. So you probably have them too. We might as well not spread it to anyone else". This guy, a true romantic.

**********

---"If you come any closer, I will shove this phone right up your ass you G** D*** N*****". This was directed at me from an elderly patient who was confused and taking Ambien for the first time.

************

---This bag has my hair in it that he ripped out (the bag had enough of her hair in to make a toupee).

**********

---"My heart keeps stopping. All day. It just stopped again". The craziest part about this one is that he was correct, and it did! I had never seen anything like it before nor since.

************

-----"There is something stuck in my butt". I wish I could say I haven't heard this one MANY times.

*****************

---"Something huge with giant wings just swooped in and broke through my back window! It tried to take us out! Please help! Hurry! Bring your guns!" (He was a police officer). Weirdly, he was just discontinuing his long term use of Ambien.

******************

---"I have no pulse!!! You discharged me from this hospital with NO PULSE"! She screamed and banged her fists against the receptionist's window of the Emergency Department. (My manager said, "ma'am, we do not typically discharge patients without a pulse).

***************

---"I think I broke my penis". Very self explanatory.

****************

---Spanish speaking person through a translator: "I fell down the stairs holding a broken plate".

"So, you stabbed yourself seven times in the ribs and abdomen with an inch wide portion of broken plate as you fell down the stairs?"

"Si".

"I am going to have a few more follow up questions".

********************

---"I am pissing red hot burning lava from hell!" This guy had gonorrhea.

*********************

---"I got run over by my mini van". This little brave grandma was trying to stop her minivan from rolling after her grand kids knocked it out of gear. She fought hard, but the mini van won. She had road rash and several of her fingers were dislocated and pointing in different directions. She recovered and the grand kids were not harmed. I LOVE stories like this.

*********************

---"My wife is shooting blood from her butt". This was not an exaggeration. She somehow had developed a pulsating and squirting arterial bleed from a hemorrhoid. The blood shot out nearly 3 feet and hit the divider curtain while she was changing into her hospital gown. It was impressive.

**********************

---"I fell into my glass coffee table". This fella staggered in, looking gray with blood pouring down his arm, and a dog leash loosely wrapped around the bleeding arm. He had a perfect fist sized hole in his forearm. His story didn't make a whole lot of sense, but it wasn't my job to figure out what really happened, just to keep him alive until we could fix his arm.

************************

---"Someone put something into my meth. I think he is trying to poison me".

"So, someone put something bad into your meth?"

"yeah".

We treated him and his girlfriend. He returned two days later insisting that someone was still poisoning his meth.

"You are still using it? The same batch you came in here about two days ago?"

"Yes. Someone is putting something bad into it; glass, or dust, or something. I just know it".

************

---"I can't pee and I can't bowl". Bowl? I can't bowl either. I do best with the gutter bumper guards in place. Maybe I should go to the hospital? She meant she couldn't have a bowel movement. I REALLY love this one for some reason.

***************

-----"My wife fell backwards off of the balcony and hit her head on concrete. It was the second floor. She fell probably 15 to 25 feet."

The wife from her wheel chair yells out, "No more Jager!" She giggled. I did not envy her future hangover. Our x-rays showed that she literally split her skull. Ouch!

I wish I could have anonymously taken all of those ER sign in slips with the name changed along with the primary complaint. I could have made a fortune! People write down weirder things than they are willing to verbalize. This writing exercise alone should be evidence of that.

---------------NEEDS EDIT-------------------

[asskickedbygirl]

Radio Bam - F!Reader Fic

Episode Two

ep one - ep three - ep four

Desc: Episode two of self insert radio bam fic! basically you’re a regular on radio bam.

A/n: high demand part 2 (three people), hope you guys enjoy feel free to give me ideas or suggestions for the next parts in my requests! i will be making this a series!

Warnings: mentions of sex

⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒

Dico: *aaaauuuuughhh* Weeeeelcome to Radio Bam everyone! Haha… on todays episode we got the one, the only, the Dreamseller himself, Brandon Novak. Couldn’t get rid of him if you tried! We also got sir Joe Frantz, Jessie Margera, our own hot pants Y/n, myself Dico aaaaand Baaaaam Margera!

Novak: What the fuck was that supposed to mean?!

Y/n: You’re like a really haggard case of herpes!

Novak: Yeah I bet you would know field fucker!

Y/n: Is this how I’m gonna be referred to as now?

Frantz: It sounds like you fuck fields.

Bam: No she just fucks in fields.

Jess: Oh my god I forgot about that.

Dico: You don’t listen to the show Jessie? If you did you would know my deepest darkest secret was aired out on live radio!

Jess: I have a life Brandon.

Frantz: Was this when a farmer watched you cum in Y/n?

Y/n: You know I don’t think we need to repeat the story.

Dico: Yeah can we not please.

Bam: Too traumatic?

Dico: Too soon.

*room laughs*

Jess: Man that was like ten years ago.

Dico: It’ll never be far enough away.

Novak: Did you guys even date after fucking in a field or what?

Y/n: Nah, we were just friends that wanted to lose our virginities.

Jess: Yeah except you guys acted like fucking idiots for months afterwards and I had to deal with it!

Bam: Oh shit yeah! Working at the movie theatre?

Jess: I was like a child who’s divorced parents wouldn’t speak to each other.

Y/n: Hey it’s not my fault Brandon wouldn’t look me in the eye for at least four months!

Dico: Okay but how did you expect me to redeem myself after an old guy witnessed me orgasming?

Y/n: Hey it was bad for me too! He saw my tits!

Novak: Lucky man.

Y/n: I was sixteen Novak.

Frantz: Wait you guys were like fully naked?

Y/n: No I just had my shirt pulled up. We’re not that weird.

Dico: At least you were wearing a skirt, I had to run away with my ass still hanging out.

Bam: What I wouldn’t pay to see that again.

Dico: Oh shit! Look who’s decided to join us everyone, listeners the one and only Random Hero, Ryan Dunn has entered the building!

Bam: You’re fucking late dickhead!

Ryan: It’s 7:03!

Frantz: Yeah that means we started three minutes ago genius.

Y/n: Professionalism at it’s finest ladies and gentlemen.

Ryan: Alright, alright, settle down weirdos.

Bam: Wait a minute, is this now the second person that’s slept with Y/n to join the show tonight?

Jess: Oh shit!

Y/n: This is not making me look very respectable.

Frantz: There should be a radio show for all the guys Y/n’s fucked.

Y/n: It would just be Dico, Ryan and a bunch of pro skaters.

Novak: Rubbing salt in the wound babe.

Bam: Wait which pro skaters did you fuck? I know of like two.

Y/n: I’m not answering that question on air. I’ve already lost enough self respect.

Dico: That was gone a long time ago.

Novak: Well you know to really hit rock bottom you gotta fuck me.

Y/n: I admire the fact you think I want to hit rock bottom Novak.

Novak: Only way is up babe.

Bam: Well now that Ryan and Y/n are both here, I think it’s time to tell the story of how Y/n got fired from the movie theatre.

Ryan: Oh christ.

Y/n: People I know listen to this Bam! My parents still think I quit!

Frantz: It’s too good to not tell.

Novak: Is this a dirty story?

Bam: Always with Y/n Novak. Always.

Y/n: My reputation is being tarnished.

Dico: What reputation?

Y/n: Enough!

Jess: Are you guys gonna tell the story or do I have to?

Ryan: There isn’t much of a story to tell.

Y/n: I mean for context Ryan and I dated for about a year after high school.

Novak: He stole your girl Dico?

Y/n: I am public domain.

Frantz: Yeah we know.

Novak: This is just hurting my feelings more and more hot pants.

Bam: Can we get back to the story please?

Y/n: Yeah okay so, as we know Dico, Jess and I worked at our local theatre and we could get free tickets so Ryan and I were there pretty often.

Ryan: I’m a cheap date.

Y/n: Well one day we were seeing some dumb movie at like 11pm on a Tuesday so like, ghost town right? No one in the theatre.

Novak: Oh I know where this is going.

Ryan: I think it was Happy Gilmore.

Bam: What?

Ryan: The movie was Happy Gilmore.

Frantz: You guys fucked to an Adam Sandler golf movie?!

Y/n: Way to ruin the suspense Frantz!

Jess: You guys fucking suck at telling stories.

Y/n: Can I continue?

Bam: Go on.

Y/n: Right so, we’re making out and Ryan starts moving my hand down to his crotch.

Ryan: You’re making me sound like a sleaze!

Y/n: Well it’s what happened! Anyways, since I worked there I knew that screen didn’t have any cameras, and if anyone were to go in the projection room they wouldn’t be able to see us cause’ of where we sat so I thought, fuck it! I started jerking him off or whatever.

Ryan: This is humiliating.

Y/n: Well you know it gets worse! I was thinking more and realised, realistically we could fuck and no one would notice. And we’re eighteen and stupid.

Frantz: A common trait for you.

Y/n: Whatever. So I whisper to him ‘do you wanna fuck?’ and he’s game, obviously. So we manoeuvre around and I’m on top and we start… you know.

Novak: Fucking.

Y/n: Thank you Novak. So yeah, but in the mean time I assumed only Dico and Jess were working that night since it was a ghost town. But little did I know, our manager-

Dico: The fart one.

Y/n: Yeah the fart one. He was on shift and he was a tightass that used to do ‘screen checks’ to make sure people aren’t being rowdy or something.

Jess: And to make sure couples aren’t fucking.

Y/n: Yeah that too. So anyways I’m sure everyone knows where I’m going with this, my manager walked in on me riding Ryan.

Dico: In a filthy fucking movie theatre!

Bam: Yeah that place was fucking minging, you guys probably caught a venereal disease from doing that.

Ryan: Probably.

Novak: Do you have some crazy fucking exhibitionist kink Y/n? Why have you been caught fucking by old men TWICE.

Frantz: She’s into other people being into voyeurism.

Y/n: Not funny.

Bam: What even happened after he walked in I forget.

Y/n: I mean I immediately got off Ryan and started apologising and covering myself. He just walked out and told me to come outside of the screen to have ‘a talk’.

Ryan: I had to sit there watching Happy Gilmore while she went outside.

*Room erupts into laughter*

Bam: Why the fuck didn’t you leave with her?!

Ryan: I did not want to look fart man in the eyes.

Y/n: Yeah well while you were enjoying the movie he basically called me a whore and fired me.

Frantz: He called you a whore?

Y/n: Well he said I ‘should be ashamed of my promiscuity’ and that I’m ‘no longer an employee’ and to tell my boyfriend neither of us are welcome back in the theatre.

Novak: You guys got fucking banned?!

Ryan: Big time.

Y/n: Do you think if we went back they would let us in?

Jess: I doubt fart man is still knocking around.

Ryan: Maybe our pictures are hung up on the walls with banned written under them.

Dico: No but we had a thorough staff meeting regarding ‘screen checks’ and why they’re so important after the incident.

Y/n: It’s not like you guys lasted long after I was fired.

Jess: Yeah Dico is not half as good as a coworker as you.

Y/n: Awwwww. You were the best coworker too Jessie!

Novak: Alright stop rubbing each others backs.

Frantz: I feel like that’s the nicest expression I’ve heard Novak use

Novak: Alright sorry, jacking each other off!

Y/n: Been there done that.

Novak: Are you fucking serious?!

Y/n: No.

End.

@jackussy420 @lovexjoe @ckygetsjobs

asked for part 2: @welcometojackass2022 @dxckfarmdunn @gnarkillknoxville

[misguidedasgardian]

Ours III

Hell had no wrath like a grandfather in a vendetta

MASTERLIST

Chapter summary: they never stood a chance do they? Nothing would

Pairing: MobBoss!Steve Rogers x ItalianMobGrandaughter!FemReader x MobBoss! Bucky Barnes

Chapter Warnings: a bit of derogatory slurs (yankee, and the sort), mafia violence, graphic violence, death of multiple characters (violents ones), hint at torture and cock snappings, mention of past abue, cursing, shootings, use of guns, hints of use of torture.

+18 please. MINORS DNI

There are a lot of "cuts" but only because I wanted to show that there are situations happening at the same time.

Word Count (Chapter): 4.4k

Notes: What started as a angsty one shot ended in this full three chapter vendetta, and I loved it!!! and I think it is very needed! muahaha, enjoy this last chapter of this trilogy, and I had to fight against the need to leave a cliffhanger, we deserve closure, enjoy sweethearts!

“She is probably pregnant” muttered Bucky, looking out the window in his friend’s office “Are we going to let her go with our child in her belly?”

“She is not going anywhere” said Steve, “We are waging this war and winning, and we´ll fuck her over her nonno´s dead body” he said mockingly

“I'm not into that” said Bucky, smiling widely, but his smiled dissipated, “He killed Stark, his resources and alliances are dead with him, his gangsters are spreading like herpes through the city, not wanting to follow anyone, they have gone rogue”

“I’m aware” he said, his mouth clenched, “But we have her…”

“You said we are not going to let her go”

“No, we are going to tell that son of a bitch that if he doesn’t take the next transatlantic back to Europe we’ll kill her”

“Steve, we want her alive” he said with urgency

“But he doesn’t need to know that” he responded, putting his feet over his desk, “We have to meet with him”

“But how do we reach him?”

“Trough that traitor, Thor” responded easily, “He must know where he is, or at least, how to contact him”

“He could have never pulled the murder of Stark without the Northmen” he thought outloud

“They were brothers in the war” reminded Steve, “You better that anyone must know how deep that bond runs”

“Yes I know” he responded

They met again in Odin’s home, all your grandfather’s men were there, waiting for their command, just as the Northmen. It became a great force, a big family, a force to be reckoned with.

But in his study, there was only Thor, Loki, Césare, Ikaris and Druig

“No” said Ikaris, “this is a bad idea, a single shot and we’re done!” He said, pointing at Thor, menacing,

“They are desperate” muttered your Nonno, “We have reached the point in which they want to negotiate, probably threaten” he apsed around the room, thinking, meditating, calculating

“Can you secure the place of the meeting?” He relented, speaking to Thor and Loki, “I don’t want my uncle getting sniped”

“Yeah, sure we can” responded Thor, “The docks haven’t been taken yet after the death of Stark, so is basically a dead zone”

“Good” sai your grandfather, “It’s almost poetic”

“We will get her back” said Thor firmly, “But I have to ask, what are you willing to give to recuperate her?”

“I believe that walking off with their lives is enough, isn’t it?”

As soon as your grandfather were alone with his most trusted men, your cousins, he spoke freely

“While this fuckers are here meeting with us, a small group shall enter their house and rescue my grandaughter”

“I’ll go” answered Druig, “She and I used to play together as children, she’ll trust me the most”

“I agree” he said strongly, “And as soon you call me and let me know you have her, I fuck them up” his men smiled and nodded, liking the idea, liking their plan, “But if things go south in here, Druig, you’ll grab her, and take right to the airport and then to Italy, you won’t look back, you hear me?” he nodded firmly, “She and you both walk out, I come after, you understand me?” he asked, looking at Ikaris as well, and both nodded again, “You take her home”

“Let’s do this” said Ikaris, “We’ll save our cousin and take her back home, no matter the cost”

“Good”

They left

You saw the cars drive away, filled with their goons

This was it, this was your chance.

You had been learning the comings and goings of his guards, and by now you had learned it to perfection, so this was the time to try to take a run for it. You adjusted the boots you found in an old closet and you were ready to jump off the building, literally, you slid down the pipe that came from the roof, and slid down until your feet touched the grass of the backyard lawn.

You ran, taking advantage of the goon’s blinding spot as they turned the corner. and you went ahead and jumped over a stone wall that led to a side hallway, open that went around the house. That stone hallway led to the side entrance of the house, your best chance of leaving and disappearing through the other houses. But as you were becoming ready to start running like hell, you encountered someone you never thought you’d see there

“Peter?” Your former fiancé was just standing there, looking at you like you were some sort of ghost

“What are you doing?” Oh you knew that look, he was about to cry or something, you saw his hand shake, dangerously close to the holster where he had his gun

“I’m getting the fuck away from here” you growled

“Your grandfather killed Tony” shit, you cursed, he was like a father to Peter, this was not going to go unpunished, maybe this is what it took to Peter to become that blood thirsty mobster you knew he could be

“Why?” You asked softly

“He wants you back, and he did it to send a message”

“I’m sorry Peter, I know you loved him” but you didn’t really meant it, if your grandma father had killed him maybe it was because he had to do with what happened to you

“This all happened because of you!” He yelled, he became upset really quickly, you draw a sharp breath, he was going to get the attention of the guards, or he was going to snap and shoot you, you didn’t know which one was worse

“Peter…” you called, “You let them rape me in our wedding night!” you yelled, your anger seeping in

“You knew I had no choice”

“You always had a choice, as probably Tony did, you know they would have never done that to me, to us, without him knowing, we are at his house!” you tried to make him see Tony was just as rotten as Steve and Bucky, but it wasn’t a easy task

“He didn’t know” he said

“Peter, come on, he was your godfather” you said softly, “He must have, when we married I became his goddaughter as well”

“So you are justifying his death?” now you fucked up, as fast as you saw him, he took out his gun, “That’s it, you are going back to the house”

“No” you saw trebling, genuinely scared, “I won’t go back there”

“They’ll kill us both” he said firmly, “If you don’t…”

“I’d rather receive a bullet than their cocks” you said firmly, and he winced, “I won’t go back”

“You will” he said as he pointed the gun at you, and you knew then and there, he wasn't going to be that sweet kid you knew ever again

They meet in a huge and abandoned warehouse by the docks, it was fitting, since this terrains where the reason they had traded you in the first place

Your grandfather paced slowly through the big open space, he was calm, he needed to be in this kind of business, never lose control, that was one of the first rules, and either way, he was way too old to have any fear left in him.

Cars’ tires screeched outside on the dirt road. as he counted, let just say, with 4 men in each, he was counting around 16 men, including both mob lords, it was going to be even easier than he thought. The mobsters just walked in the Warehouse, two walking in front of them, separating from the group and standing right in the middle of the open space.

“Finally we meet '' said Steve, his and Bucky's presence taking authority. But your nonno knew better, it was all bells and whistles.

“You’re going to wish we never did” Césare said firmly

“Let’s don’t...” said Bucky, is hands in his pockets in a relaxed manner, in his face a mocking grin, “But let’s get to the chase”

“Yes, you have my grandaughter,” he said

“That sweet little thing” his thick brooklyn accent made your grandfather wince, “We are enjoying her…”

“Well, I think amateur hour is over” he said, “By taking her you got involved into a true mobster’s affairs ” that sole frase made them both burn with rage

“You must be confused old man” said Bucky, “You are in America now, we do thing different in here”

“I agree, we would never rape a woman” he said, “We would never disrespect a young girl who had nothing to do with us, specially if she just married a young protegé” he said, firmly, “Let’s just talk bussiness getlemen, I don’t have much time

“We agree” said Steve, “Let’s cut to the chase”

“Give me my grandaughter” he said, “And I will leave here, go back to my home, and we can put this all behind us”

“We were going to suggest something similar” said Bucky, “You get the fuck out of our territory, and we don’t kill that sweet thing” if looks could kill, they’ll be 6 fet under right now, “We have the higher groudn, you are not in your territory, you are in a foreign country, you are not going to win this” he seemed to think about it

“So I should just leave her here to keep being abused by you both?” he asked

“You leave now and you and her get to live” responded Steve, “We have her, we have men in the house just feet away from her, one phone call and they’ll get a bullet in between those pretty eyes of hers.” Wait, he just needed to wait and stall, until he got the all clear from Druig, they were right, they had 14 men besides themselves and any of them could make that phone call and you were going to be lost

“I’m sure we can get to a middle ground” he said, fixing his jacket

“Get the fuck away from her” you whimpered, relieved, when you saw your nonno’s man behind Peter, pointing his Glock at the back of his head. Peter just raised his hands, surrendering, his eyes never leaving yours, but in a second, he fell, unconscious. Your nonno’s man had knocked him up in the head, and you felt you could finally breathe

“Druig?” you called, and the man you haven't seen in ten years returned the look, and walked hastily towards you

He held you tight in a warm hug, and you felt him breathe lightly, like he was relieved

“We were on our way in!” he said hastily, releasing you and engaging your face in his hands to take a good look of you, “God you are, physically fine, I’m so glad”

“Thank you” you cried, and he hugged you again. You barely remembered him, but he was one of your cousins, you remembered playing with him in your grandfather's lawn

“We need to go, now” he said, and you just nodded. But before you could flee, he looked at Peter, still on the ground

“I’m not going to kill him” he said, enraged, “He wants him alive” you just nodded, and you let yourself be guided by him, out of the mansion’s grounds and out of their reach. He got you into a black SUV, and you could already breathe in more freely, but still you felt you wee within their reach

“Relax” Druig said softly, “You are safe” you nodded and tried to relax, but still, the car didn’t move. behind ruig you could see two men dragging Pete into another SUV that was behind you

“Your nonno wants to deal with him personally” he said firly, and you already know what that meant.

You didn’t get to relax at all, because several men with shotguns ran towards your caravan of three cars, and without even asking they started shooting. The car jumped to life and tried to take you all away from there. As Druig took off his arm with his own gun and shot against the men that followed Steve’s orders, to cover for your driver so he would be able to drive away.

“But we were going to need some insurance” responded Bucky, “You’ll have to leave your men hee, so we make sure that you won’t come back. This was an insult, to him and to you

And then his phone rang, he took it and looked at it, and it was just a text from Druig, giving him what he needed, the all clear

“I have a new deal, gentleman” he said, looking back at them again, with a sly smile

“And what would that be, old man?” Steve mocked. Your nonno only raised both his hands, and men showed up, the Northmen and his men, all of them with guns in their hands

“pagheranno per quello che hanno fatto”

Under your beggin, and only when Druig got Ikaris’ confirmation, he told the driver to go towards the docks, you wanted to see them on their knees, you wanted to see your grandfather and see this through, you wanted them to see them suffer a sicilian mob’s death

“He is not going to like this” Druig muttered, “We should be in our way to the airport”

“I want to see them” you said firmly

“Very well, and it's good to know you know how to boss around your men” he said, smiling softly. you smiled back

“It’s in my blood” you said firmly

As soon as the car stopped in front of the warehouse the night had fallen over all your heads, but you jumped off the car and ran into the building. And what you found there didn’t surprise you at all.

Bodies were everywhere on the ground, and right in the middle, there they were, both tied up with heavy chains into metal chairs. And standing tall, your grandfather, amongst a group of his men. You haven't seen him in almost ten years, but you’d recognize him anywhere, he looked just the same, like no time had passed

You ran towards your grandfather and he hugged you tightly against his chest

“My sweet sweet girl” he whispered against your hair

“Nono, mi sei mancato molto” you said

“e ti amo nipote mía” he responded, and he let you go softly, you finally turned towards them, “You brought her here?” he asked Druig, outraged

“She wanted to” he muttered, you took slow steps towards both men, that where chained into two chairs, both beaten up, but they where weirdly smiling

“I want to watch” you said, your voice shaking, Both Bucky´s and Steve´s looks were on you

“No” Your grandfather stood in front of you, shielding you from them, “They had your body, they won't have your soul also” he said firmly, “Don´t watch my sweet girl, you are still an innocent'' Your eyes filled with tears, but you nodded. He signaled Druig to accompany you. He took your arm softly and led you out of the warehouse, but before you could be out of ear’s reach, you heard something that made your blood ran cold

“Tell me something doll, before you leave” you stopped walking, fearful, not wanting to hear more filthy words coming from him, “Are you pregnant?” asked Bucky, with his dark, mocking voice, “We deserve to know”

You’ve been a month with them, and they were right, you were late, and that scared you to death. But like life was breathed into you, Druig put his hand in your lower back, helping you to keep walking, and getting away from them

“Answer us!” yelled Steve, but soon you heard a thump, and then a pained moan, you’ll never answer them, they didn’t deserve to know anything

When he knew you were out of the warehouse, and relatively safe, he turned around to meet them both

“She is ours” laughed Bucky, “We marked her, she will never forget what we did to her”

“She is Carrara Marble” he said, despicably “You can try to do whatever you want, shape her, mold her, taint her with markings, but you can't truly break her, you can't ruin her, at the end of the day, she will remain beautiful and strong, grand, unlike you” Steve spitted a mixture of saliva and blood over his feet, “You will melt, like plastic” he said signaling the huge warehouse they were in

“She is pregnant” said Steve, “She will always remember us, everytime she looks at our baby…” your nonno only growled

“Well they should be… tortured for months until their are beggin for their deaths, but…” he said, almost bored, ignoring them completly, “We don’t have much time, I want to go back home” He wouldn’t even answer them.

“Yes, but we can still make them hurt until they burn” Ikaris said, taking from a table a silver pair of tweezers

“I’m more a fan of the pinza di castrazione” said Druig, “The one we use on the bulls”

“Yeah, I agree” said Ikaris, smiling widely

“Get the fuck away from me!” yelled Bucky

“Don’t you dare come near me!” yelled Steve, “You don’t know what the fuck you are doing, you are never leaving the United States alive”

“I think this one still doesn’t know how everything went down” said Ikaris, “It might be confusing, to realise you lost your unstable kingdom”

At this time, two men, alongside Thor and Loki showed up, dragging Peter into the warehouse, and dropped him right in front of them

“This is the responsible of all this madness” said Loki, looking at the still unconscious man

“I agree” responded Césare

“Take him” said Steve, “He is the responsible one” now he was just desperate

“You are not coming out of this alive” said Ikaris, “None of you are”

“Let’s begin” he sentenced, an he walked back and let his men torture Steve and Bucky, using special tweezers to remove…

He had to admit he winced when he heard their screams, bouncing of the walls of the warehouse, curses and screams resounding in the space that turned smaller and smaller, filled with screams and blood

“The kid” he said, his eyes burning with disdain, “You know what we do to snitches and traitors” he said, with his hand, and with his index and middle finger made a “snipping” sign.

You saw your grandfather walk out of the warehouse and towards your car, being followed closely behind by his men. Flames started to grow behind them, making everything glow with orange and yellow light in the dark night. At some point, it escalated through the walls and into the roof, making you believe he was coming out of hell itself.

He got right next to you into the car. And you couldn’t wait any longer and you hugged him tightly, and he engulfed you into his arms, as he caressed your hair, and your back

“I should have brought you home when your mamma was gone, nipotina” he said into your hair, as his arms held you tightly, “Would you ever forgive me? I'll spend the rest of my wicked life trying to make it up to you” you nodded in his chest, and he kissed the crown of your head, “Where do you want to go?” he asked, “tell me and I will take you, far away from here”

“I want to go home” you said softly, “With you, to Italy”

“Your wishes are my command”

1.8 years later.

The midday sun shines brightly over your head, it's rays drawing shapes in the calm lake in front of the house. A soft breeze made it bearable to be outside, enjoying the beautiful day at the edge of the Como lake

“Come here” with open arms you received your daughter in your arms, who had just become a toddler as she gave her wobbly first steps, “My sweet sweet girl” you praised, kissing her on her chubby cheeks. She giggled when you did, hugging your neck with her tiny arms.

“Mamma!” she giggled, and the sound brought you joy, warming your chest with love

“Ti amo tanto” you whispered into her soft hair, arranged in a cute updo, leaving a small palm tree-like lock of hair in the top of her beautiful head

“Mamma!” she giggled again, that being one of the two words she had learned yet

“You are a mama's girl aren't you?” you asked

"Ti" she said

“There you are my girls” you turned softly to see your grandfather coming to join you in the backyard, “This is a beautiful day” he celebrated, “can't believe she turned 1 last week”

“And she is walking now” you say, taking foot with your daughter in your arms, walking towards him

“It’s lunchtime” you nodded and went inside the house by his side, where you met the rest of your family, your aunt Ajak, and his children, and their spouses. You were a big family, and you loved it, always a noisy, big house, filled with laughter.

You grandpa took seat at the head of the table, and you by his right side with your daughter in your lap

“Cousin!” Called Phastos, “want lasagna?”

“You are insulting me if you had to ask” you giggled, trying to accommodate you daughter in you leg, seeing you struggle, you aunt Thena that was right next to you grab her in her arms

“She is the sweetest little girl” said Kingo and you just smiled, “I would have 4 of them, only if they were as cute as her”

“I agree, but we are good with only her” said Druig, but everyone booed him and Makkari, his girlfriend just smiled

"Well, we want one!” Ikaris laughed, grabbing Sersi’s hand who nodded

Your chest just fluttered with warmth, by the love of your family, your daughter giggled in her aunt’s arms, and you knew all the persons in there loved her as much as you did, here you had a family that would kill and die for you, and that’s exactly what you need-

“We are ready to receive our guests from New York tomorrow” a sudden fear took hold of you, and you looked to your grandfather looking for answers, “My friend Odin is visiting with both his sons” you breathed a little more easily.

Nothing will be able to touch you here, you were safe, with your cousins and uncles, and your grandfather

. . .

“Isn't she a looker?” he asked proudly, as he bounce his leg and the new toddler giggled with an adorable one teeth smile, “Just like her mamma”

“She is a cutie” agreed Odin, as he took a sip of that italian wine coming from the vineyard your grandfather owned. He looked around, enjoying the view, “I think they like each other” he said softly, they both shared smiles

“I do believe that” he responded, “But if your son wants my grandaughter, he can court her here, under my watchful eye” he said firmly, as Odin smiled and looked at the lake´s shore, where you walked along his son

Post chapter notes: yeah I said “son of Odin” reader´s choice if it is Thor or Loki. So she gets a happy ending, safe and protected in her lake-mansion, with her grandfather and family, his love interest and her adorable daughter, (And I promised you she never thought of them while looking at her) And without the need of ever working because she is inheriting her grandfather´s mob fortune YEAHHH FOR USSS

Taglist! @local-witch-of-mn @thedarkplume @lokisimps4dayz @connie326 @inlovewithhisblueeyes @brownlee-22 @emmywinningengineer @tryingtosurvivestuff @majo240820 @vicmc624 @cjand10 @johndeaconshands @few-proud-emotonal @candy3002 @local-witch-of-mn @leosandbuckysgirl