#please leave minecraft alone and stop making it political

[dracvula]

mineblr sucks

anyway not to be an annoying cissie but im just trying to enjoy some minecraft blogs, do transmeds and tucutes really have to make their blogs about something that doesnt have to do with wholesome content of the game? i came here for some goddamn blocks, not you thinking someone with a differing opinion needs to die or cease existing or that their very being is tr*nsphobic. like shit, i literally do not give a fuck.

like we get it, yall have opinions but thats what discourse blogs are for. minecraft has nothing to do with it and im Tired of seeing every other post be

“x and x hates transmeds”

“x and x hates tucutes”

absolutely ridiculous

[thefanficmonster]

Time And Time Again

Dream x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Romance, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Basically a rundown of some of the most recent cute moments brought to you by the most adorable will-they-won’t-they couple: Y/N and Dream.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request, it really made my day when I received it! I hope I captured what you wanted and what you had in mind in the fic and I hope you enjoy the read! This is my first time writing for Dream so I hope I don’t mess it up hehe. Love, Vy ❤

“I don’t wanna go in the cave!“ Y/N squeals in terror when she realizes that in order to make progress in the game and continue moving onward with the story, she has to walk Blake through the dark, dingy and danger-ridden cave in Outlast 2. The gang’s all there with her on a Discord call to keep her company, knowing she’s a scaredy cat underneath that tough girl exterior. And being the scaredy cat she is while also having a preference for horror games has made Friday nights very interesting for her and her friends: her, Clay, George and Sapnap sit on a Discord server while she streams whatever horror game she had planned for the evening to her close to her thousands of viewers. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N! I’ll come with you, imma hold your hand the whole time.“ Clay volunteers wholeheartedly without a second to waste.

Much to his disappointment, however, Y/N’s reply to that is: “Not until you go wash off all that cheeto dust that’s all over your fingers.“

Clay gasps dramatically, “How DARE you? I offer you help and comfort and this is the thanks I get? I hope one of those heretics in teaches you a lesson!”

While the pair are now in a full-on ‘heated’ dispute on their manners and politeness, bringing back things they did wrong as far back as three years ago, George and Sapnap are just connecting the dots silently.

“Wait, Y/N...“ George is the one to finally speak up, “How’d you know he’s eating cheetos?”

Taking a momentary break from the bickering, Y/N reassumes her more sweet tone of voice as he addresses him, “He freaking raided my cabinets and has eaten all my snacks already! He’s only been here for two hours, damn it!”

“Don’t make it sound like I inhaled a mountain of snacks in two hours! You literally had only two bags of snacks - meant for one person, mind you!“ Clay argues back, neither him nor Y/N realizing that this accidental outing will send their fandoms in a fit.

Of course, people hang out at their friends’ all the time, nothing weird there. This wouldn’t have been such a big deal to anyone if Sapnap didn’t say:

“How come Clay has the privilege of coming over to place and George and I don’t?“

Oh boy...

                                                             *  *  *

“Hi everyone! I know you guys couldn’t care less for an intro so Imma get right into it...“ Y/N says, all seemingly in one breath, “You see this masked man next to me? This tree of a man right here? Yes? Good, well judging by that poorly made cardboard mask he’s wearing - curtsey of yours truly - you probably already know who he is. If not, meet Dream, aka Clay, aka the raincloud above my parade.“

That specific laugh echoes throughout the room as the said tree-of-a-man wraps an arm around the significantly smaller girl’s shoulders, pulling her closer till their sides collide, “She loves me, trust me, she does.”

“Only when you bring me food though.“ She corrects him, wiggling his shoulders to see if she could set herself free from his grip but relaxing in his embrace when she realizes she won’t be going anywhere unless he willingly lets her go.

Clay tilts his head to the side to look at her through the holes poked into the mask before lifting his free arm to reveal the plastic bag he’s been holding all this time. “Oh, well then I wonder what I’ve got over here...”

“Oh my God, Panda Express! You’re the best, Clay.“ She squeals, grabbing him by the collar of his hoodie and pulling him down while she simultaneously pushes up on her toes to place a kiss on his cheek which is a tiny bit exposed to her between the mask and the hood he’s got over his head.

Before the man could even recover, he finds himself empty handed, having lost the girl and having lost the bag of food to the girl.

That kiss was worth it though.

                                                             *  *  *

“Ok, so I’ve seen this ‘my girlfriend does my makeup’ challenge going around and since I’m single as all hell, I got my best friend Y/N here to do my makeup.“ Clay points to Y/N who’s holding a makeup bag in one hand and is giving him a very disappointed look, “Judging by the look on her face, she’s not at all impressed but I promise to make her a bit more excited to be here in editing.“

“Of course I’m unimpressed, this is the troll video of troll videos!“ She complains, throwing her arms up, “Sure I’ll do your makeup and get a kick out of it myself but none of them will see it!“ She points to the camera, “None of them will know what amazing makeup artist skills I’ve got.“

This leaves Clay speechless for a moment, uncertain of how to reply to her statement before just deciding to say: “Well, at least you’ll be getting a kick out of it, that’s all that matters to me.”

“Aww...“ Y/N bats her eyelashes at the camera as her bottom lip forms an emotional pout, “Please don’t be so sweet to me after I just verbally kicked your ass. You always do that and make me feel like the meanest person in the world.“

“Aww Y/N, I’m so sorry.“ He says, sounding genuinely apologetic as he wraps his arms around the girl that’s tiny in comparison to him, bringing her closer to him with his tight hug.

“YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN!“

                                                             *  *  *

“Hey Clay, I bought lunch on the way so I hope you’re-” Walking into her friend’s recording room abruptly, Y/N finds herself face to face with his webcam, the light next to which is glowing, suggesting the device is on and she’s currently on the screens of the thousands of people watching Dream’s stream. His mask is on - the one she made for him - of course, but she can still feel the aura of him smiling, relieving her of the worry that he’ll be irritated by her walking in like that - unannounced and without knocking. To be fair, they never announced to one another when they’d be stopping by and by this point in their friendship they have also stopped knocking too. “You’re streaming, huh?”

“Yup!“ The word is said in such a teasing manner she almost allows herself to blush, “What you got there tho?“

“Chipotle.“ She answers shortly, “And I’m starving so can we please turn your stream into a Mukbang?“ She furrows her brows as she inspects what’s on his computer screen, looking at a comment section instead of the usual screen of a game she’s used to seeing. “What are you doing, anyway?“

Looking back at his screen for a brief moment before turning back to her, Clay replies, “Oh, just reading mean comments, as one does to boost their self-esteem.”

The flash of anger he sees on Y/N’s face is most certainly not what he was inspecting to see. Mockery, yes. Humor, yes. Faux sympathy followed by some mean comments of her own, definitely. But he anger he did not see coming at all.

“Who’s talking shit about you? I’ll end them!“ Putting the plastic bag of delicious food aside, forgetting all about it in the process, Y/N grabs a chair and drags it over next to Clay’s so she too can look at his screen.

And that boy has never felt so much adoration for his best friend. Their fans - and especially their shippers - would’ve lost it if they had been able to see the look he was giving her.

                                                             *  *  *

(back to the ‘girlfriend/best friend does my makeup vid’)

“Ok, so what kind of look do you want me to give you?“ Y/N asks as she sits down on the stool in front of Clay, her makeup products placed on the dining table which is to her right.

“You ask me as though I know what I want.“ Clay laughs, the sticker of his mask floating above his face, following his movements as to keep his features hidden, “Just do the look you do on yourself everyday. It looks really cute on you, who knows, I might be able to pull it off too.“

“Sure thing.“ She smiles at her friend’s compliment, “Just stand still, ok?“

“Yes, ma’am.“

                                                            *  *  *

“Y/N, no! Stop!“ Clay warns her via the Discord call while the two are streaming Minecraft together alone for once, “Not another word!“

“But I really do feel bad!“ Y/N whines in response, “Why don’t you allow me to apologize?“

“Because there’s nothing to apologize for!“ He says, clearly done with the conversation, “I willingly gave you my jacket, you didn’t ask for it.“

“And now you’ve got a cold because of it!“ She continues arguing her case, “The least I can do is come over to take care of you.“

“I don’t need a pity nurse, thank you very much.“ Clay bites back, “But your company would be nice. Though I don’t want you to catch whatever cold I have.“

“I’d catch any cold for you, Clay.“ She replies teasingly - with a ton of honesty underneath that teasing.

Honesty both her and Clay are aware of. As well as the mob of people watching their streams right now.

                                                             ~  ~  ~ And so the snowball effect continues with little moments sprinkled throughout their online presences that make the snowball of shipping get bigger and bigger. Every now and then, both Y/N and Clay let little bits of their true adoration and admiration for the other slip through. And time and time again do those moments send their fans in a frenzy. 

Rightfully so.

@kia-isabelle

[princessofprocrastination]

She’s Creepy (Dream)

MASTERLIST

(PART 1)

pairing : dream / clay x reader

summary :  apparently being a huge fan of a big youtuber is considered being a creep, according to minecraft gamer, dream. and ever since he called you mean things, your world turned upside down. (ANGST) (TRIGGER WARNING)

GEORGE’S POV 

looking back, there was so many things we could’ve done before she saw us.

walked out before she did? 

not stared at her like she was the only source of food in a stranded island?

but then again, we were still in shock. but we were left in more shock after she did what she did. 

-

she settled the bill and was proceeding to walk out the restaurant alone, since her family went off first. 

since she wasn’t really paying attention to her surroundings before, we didn’t think she would this time. 

but we were proven wrong in the next second. 

she looked up from her wallet, coincidentally, looking up to us. 

her eyes moved from me to nick to clay. she looked confused for a second. 

and then, a smile. 

wait? a smile?

you smiled at us, bringing up your wallet-less, right hand to wave to the three of us. 

i looked to see what the other two boys reactions would be. 

as expected, shock clearly written all over their faces. 

-

YOUR POV

three years can make someone change. a lot, in fact. 

they say to forgive and forget. but logically, how does one forget something that change your whole life? 

but you forgave them. you were not heartless. you weren’t going to bring this to your grave. that seems so childish of you. 

at the end of the day, what happened years ago changed your life, for the better. 

you were making better money than you did when you still made videos. 

sure, now you couldn’t really enjoy life by posting on the internet you doing things you love or posting the people you cherish. but that didn’t matter anymore. 

you had a good career, a good life. 

and you still looked up to the three boys. 

sure, they hurt you a little. but you were sure they must’ve did something to stop people from ruining your life after you left social media. right? 

so you smiled at them. 

you would be lying if you said you weren’t shocked and confused. you were almost speechless. what do you say to the three people that made you the woman you are now?

how did you not notice them sitting on the table just opposite you? and why were the three of them together? as you knew before, they don’t even live in the same country. 

maybe they have met since then and they’re just enjoying a good dinner. as you just were. 

“hi, haven’t heard of you guys for a little bit.” you walked closer to their table. 

your family left, anyways. they said they would catch up with you another day, seeing that most of them have jobs, just like you. 

“uh. we- we haven’t heard from you either.” sapnap, nick. 

nothing changed. they still looked the way they did three years ago. 

besides dream, of course. up till today, you had no clue what he looked like. but damn, he is one hot dude. 

“please, sit down. that is, if you don’t have to go.” george. even after three years he is still so adorable and awkward. 

you pulled out the empty chair beside sapnap, sitting down. 

“since i haven’t formally introduced myself, i’m y/n.” you said, shaking sapnap’s hand. 

the polite texan brought your hand to his lips and kissed it instead. how sweet. 

you smiled at him as he told you his real name. 

they took turns introducing themselves. 

air still tense, you tried to make it less awkward. 

“stop thinking about the past.” you broke the awkward silence. 

“how? you were forced to leave the country.” dream, or clay said. 

“that was years ago. now i’m back and clearly fine. my fault for not getting a place with better security, anyways.” 

“no. it was clearly my fault for sayin-” 

“let’s just put this behind us now. it doesn’t matter now, anyways.” you cut off clay’s words. 

clay looked like he was thinking about it for a while before he nodded and let it past him. 

“still, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean all i said.” clay looked into my eyes, sincerely apologizing. 

“i forgave you years ago. don’t worry about it.” you smiled at him.

“god you’re too nice.” you laughed at what clay muttered under his breath, thinking you wouldn’t hear him. 

“soooo, frozen yogurt?” nick asked all of you. 

everyone agreed. maybe then, you’ll know each other more. 

not as content creators, but as normal people. 

“let’s go to my house.” you told them. you lived alone in a big house, constantly lonely. and you didn’t want the night to end yet. 

although they were hesitant, they agreed. 

it was obvious they didn’t want to accidentally push any boundaries with you. they acted like you are still fragile. they were scared that the wrong thing you make you blow up. 

you told them that you would never do that. that you were comfortable with any kind of questions, to not act like you were a piece of glass. 

you drove to your house, clay’s car trailing behind, nick sitting on the passenger seat of his car. 

george asked you politely if he could follow you instead of clay. 

obviously, you told him he could. he was to adorable to say no, anyways. 

although he is the oldest, it felt like he was the opposite. he was just so shy and quiet. 

in the car, he told you everything. what clay thought of you, the times he cried in his home watching your old videos and looking at your old photos. he told you the times clay wished he spoke to you instead of acting arrogant. 

you almost teared up at that. so this is why george wanted to drive with you instead. got it. 

george told you clay basically fell in love with you through social media, that he felt the need to lash out on your in the eyes of the public due to his jealousness. 

apparently he felt like he didn’t stand a chance with you. 

“has he seen himself in the mirror lately? that man is beautiful.” you laughed at your own comment. 

“well, technically, you didn’t know what he looked like. but yeah, he is pretty hot, huh?” george laughed along. 

“i didn’t know what he looked like, which made it so much better. i simped for a green smiley face, can you believe that?” you laughed even harder. 

“his voice is pretty attractive, too.” george agreed and laughed with you. 

you stopped at the security post which was unusual for you since the security guard knew your car and you could always just drive in without stopping. 

“the car behind mine is with me.” you told the guy. 

“yes ma’am.” he told you, and cleared clay’s car. 

“so this is what being rich is like.” george said. 

“you’re an idiot. you’re rich too.” you told him. 

“you live rich, i don’t�� he replied. 

“touche.” you told him. 

you parked your car in your garage, leaving space for clay car beside yours. 

you and george walked to your front door, you using your fingerprint to open the door. 

“hey, y/n?” nick called you as you opened the door to your house, them stunned at the classiness of the layout of your house. 

“yeah?” you acknowledged him. 

“are you single?” you almost chocked on your spit, but laughed it off. 

“yes, nick. why?” you turned to him, confused on why he asked you that question. you were surprised to see how close he was to you. 

“hey mamas, let’s go on a date someday.” nick invited you, clearly joking. 

“nick! you can’t just say that.” clay. someone’s jealous. 

“you paying?” you jokingly asked nick, staring into his eyes, acting serious. 

“you bet.” 

“where are we going?” you asked him, leading the boys to the living room to watch some television. 

“in n out.” nick laughed but still managed to let out the answer. 

“text me the date, i’m down.” you answered him. nick laughed, going up to you to kiss your cheek. you shook your head at his stupid antics. 

“it’s that easy.” nick told the other boys, more specifically, clay. guess he was trying to get clay to do something. it’s too obvious. 

“wait. is this real? you guys are serious?” clay asked, almost sweating, it seemed. he asked it like it was an urgent question. 

“you’re an idiot, clay.” nick told him. nick put his arm over your shoulder as he sat next to you on the couch, stealing the remote to pick a movie. 

“no clay, not real. he’s just messing with us.” george finally said something.

you heard clay sighing. you assumed he sighed in relief. you laughed to yourself. nick realized what you were laughing at, laughing along with you. 

“you know, don’t you?” nick whispered in your ear. you nodded, smiling to him. 

“know what?” shit. clay heard that? you shook your head, telling him to forget about it. 

and he did forget about it. or so you thought. 

while the four of you watched hamilton, he was the most silent. but you didn’t think much about it. you talked at some point of the show and continued watching. 

“wait a second.” clay realized something. 

“FUCK. YOU KNOW.” clay basically screamed. 

george almost snorted. “duh. you couldn’t have been more obvious, loverboy.”

“shit. how did you know?” he asked, looking at you straight in the eyes. 

you pointed to george. 

-

and that, is how you find yourself a boyfriend after years. 

you weren’t even sure how it progressed after that night. 

the boys stayed at your place and you order a shit ton of clothes their size so they could keep staying here without buying anything. 

you were glad they willingly stayed. you were lonely in that house anyway. 

you were making breakfast for three starving boys and yourself when you felt hands on your waist. “you’re too kind.” he whispers in your ear. 

“you’ve told me once or twice.” you chuckled. 

“get a room.” george yelled, nick agreeing. 

“i will kick you out.” you threatened. 

“kidding. we love you.” the two boys tried to take their words back. you and clay laughed at how stupid they were acting. 

-

TAGLIST

@sarah-limelight  @your-typical-giggle  

[lilacandladybugs]

Winnie the Pooh Rendition: Tommy and Tubbo Harness the Power of the Prime Path and then Get Lunch

When the Dream SMP was still a young SMP, before L’Manburg had become Manburg, or there were nation states or wars or politics, back when the SMP seemed a lot more like Minecraft than a Political Soap Opera, Dream decided that it would be a good idea to create a very important path. This path would make it so that very successful people could get important places very quickly. Tommy had asked him if the path made it any easier to get places, and Dream had said yes, so it must be true. Dream was never wrong about anything ever except when it was inconvenient for him to be right.

So one crisp autumn morning, as he walked down Dream’s original path, TommyInnit found himself in the mood to cause Problems. The problem would be finding a way of unleashing the power of paths.

“Hallo, Tommy!” said Tubbo.

“Hallo, Tubbo,” Tommy said, “walk with me.”

Tubbo considered saying that he had important spy affairs he was up to, which would have been a lie, but he decided that he was more interested in doing nothing with Tommy than doing nothing alone, so he followed along.

“Look where we are right now, Tubbo,” Tommy gestured to the path, riddled with creeper holes and mismatched wood, “this server has changed but you know where we’ve been from day one?”

“Where?”

“This Path.”

Tubbo looked around at the path and raised his eyebrows a little which Tommy decided meant that he was convinced, so he continued, “Dream told me he made this path so that it would be easier for people to get important places quickly.”

“Ah,” said Tubbo, “I see.” He did not, in fact, see.

“Not having a path in Pogtopia, Tubbo, is the only reason that we have been unable to instantly retake L’Manburg. We’ve been missing it, we’ve been missing out on our Success and our Primes. You see, Dream is simply a man of very little brain—”

“I don’t think he is,” Tubbo interjected.

“—so he has yet to figure this out,” Tommy continued unfazed, “but I think we haven’t quite harnessed the true potential of this path.” Tommy continued to walk down the wooden slabs as he said this, knowing they were taking him somewhere Important and Successful.

“Since the path only goes successful places, we’ve gotta make a path in Pogtopia for going faster toward overthrowing Manburg and also getting more Primes.” 

“I don’t think that’s what Dream meant, but I don’t think I know much really.”

“No, I suppose so either. You weren’t there. He said the path always goes somewhere Important and Successful, which is exactly what our path in Pogtopia will do.”

Tubbo nodded thoughtfully and considered the path around them. 

“Tubbo, we need to go and get us some oak wood because what I think we need to do is we need to get the Prime Path and make it connect to a path in Pogtopia. What do you think? Is that a Responsible thing to do?”

“No, definitely not.”

“Good. Then that will be our Problem for the day.”

“Well what type of wood are we going to use, or are we going to leave it all spotty like this?” Tubbo guestered to the patchwork of wood varieties that the Dream SMP path contained. “I really like the purple nether planks, I think that they’re much more Successful looking than the oak planks Dream SMP has.”

“No, no, I think that oak planks would be much better. Remember, we gotta channel Dream’s Successful and Important path so we should make it as close to his as possible.”

Tubbo didn't think so; and they were just going to argue about it, when Tubbo remembered that if they used nether plans, he would likely have to go get them from his own base, but if they used oak, then Tommy would have to give up some of his own oak planks, so he said, “All right, oak then,” just as Tommy remembered it too, and was going to say, “All right, nether planks.” 

“Oak,” said Tubbo to himself in a thoughtful way, as if it were now settled. “I will clear out the path to Pogtopia while you go back to your base and mine some trees for the path.”

Tommy sighed heavily at this proclamation but said, “All right then, oak,” and went back toward the railroad to his Vacation Home.

Upon arriving at his vacation home he took a moment to pay respects to Henry’s gravestone and went inside. He opened his chest, which had a total of five oak planks. This was Unsurprising. TommyInnit was Never Wrong and could always do Everything for himself at all times, except when it was inconvenient. It was really usually better for Tubbo to do things for him anyway, whether they were important or not, as Tubbo had none of the Important Responsibilities that Tommy had.

He looked at the durability on his axe and wasn’t quite sure that it would be able to make it through chopping down multiple trees, much less enough to get multiple stacks of wood. Using it to do something such as make a Prime Path would be a worthy purpose, but an even more worthy purpose would be stealing all the necessary supplies from Eret’s castle instead.

Eret’s castle was large and intimidating and colorful, which was nearly enough to persuade Tommy to not rob Eret. The colorful window panes gave Tommy an idea for another Problem, but future Problems, however exciting, must remain in the future. He required Eret’s assistance, hopefully without Eret ever knowing that his assistance had been given.

As he approached the ladder to the castle’s storage room, ignoring any signs on his way, he heard a sound and looked up to see Eret’s head, with his glowing netherite helmet, peering down at him.

“Well hello Tommy,” Eret said, “Is there something I can help you with?”

Tommy decided that robbery was no longer a practical course of action without Eret’s cooperation. He would likely die, which was not very high on his priority list. 

“I’ve come to rob you Bitch!” Tommy smiled and nodded to himself. That seemed like a good way of starting the conversation.

Fortunately for Tommy, Eret just laughed, “What do you need? Is it for the revolution?”

“It is for Top Secret Pogtopia Business now hand over all your oak wood.” 

“Well you see Tommy,” Eret said opening his chest, “Customarily people only relinquish their belongings when other people respectfully request it of them.”

“What does custard and relish mean? Eret I do not like long words they Bother me.”

Eret closed his chest with two arms full of oak, “It means you didn’t ask me very nicely.” “Ah, I see. I’m robbing you Bitch , please,” Tommy amended.

Eret threw a few stacks of oak planks down at him, “Alright that sounds good. Let me know how the rebellion plans go.” Eret saluted at him, which tommy ignored, and hurried off to bring the wood back to Tubbo.

With wood in hand Tommy and Tubbo succeeded in connecting the main highway on Dream SMP back to their secret ravine Pogtopia. Now that they had finished, they agreed it would be the best course of action to walk up and down the Prime Path that lead toward Success for thirty minutes in order to test it out.

They paced up and down from Pogtopia to Dream SMP and back again talking about how you can Sub to a Twitch Channel of your Choice for Free Once a Month and occasionally sticking their heads up above ground to see if JSchlatt had magically un-become a dictator yet or if Wilbur had showed up to see them.

After a while of pacing Tubbo stopped Tommy, “I have gotten some Primes Tommy but I think Schlatt may still be president.” 

“Oh,” said Tommy, “Maybe Dream wasn’t telling the truth after all.”

He sat down and thought, in the most thoughtful way he could think. Then set his hand down on the wooden path ...and then he scratched his nose twice, and stood up.

“Yes,” said TommyInnit. 

“I see now,” said TommyInnit. 

“I have been Foolish and Deluded,” said he, “and I have no Brain at All.”

“No, you’re all right,” said Tubbo.

“Really?” said Tommy. He stood up suddenly.

“Anyhow,” he said, “it is nearly Luncheon Time.”

So they went back to Pogtopia for it.

[delusion-of-negation]

top 10 (ish) ridiculous or annoying FAQs:

(click at your own discretion)

1) "kids today rely on others to do everything"

ah yes, damn those participation trophies! if it wasn't for them my hands wouldn't be fucked, and I wouldn't need people to write for me. but seriously, stop reading boomer comics, and go outside to meet some actual young people.

2) "sus that a non-american says mom"

yeah, because it's clearly the superior version, and I'm not too patriotic to concede a defeat.

3) "sweaty, the victims of abuse by catholics are real people, stop appropriating their pain just because you want to hate catholics; plus teachers abuse people just as often anyway"

so firstly, I don't hate anybody. and secondly, regarding the fact that victims really do exist, [insert "of course I know him, he's me" meme here]; although I don't often talk much about the abuse I went through or what my religious beliefs are. but, more importantly, statements like "survivors are people" can be phrased like "some people are survivors", and when you're unable to act according to the latter (like when you don't even consider that somebody might be one) then you display a failure to recognise the former - you're projecting; a survivor can't be appropriating their own pain, but you can be appropriating it to silence one. and thirdly, teachers do abuse - the problem isn't and has never been purely religion, rather that abuse is often done by somebody in a position of trust, power, and familiarity; and that the lack of a global minimum enables totally legal abuse on top of the illegal stuff. people with access and respect have more opportunity to abuse than those without, and that goes for teachers too. but, once again, you can be appropriating the pain of survivors to deflect and silence people. please remember this before you say that shit.

4) "get help/therapy"

way ahead of you - years ahead of you. but it's not magic - people who say this often act as if you'll start behaving differently overnight. not only are some things simply beyond the ability of talking therapy to completely rectify, it also takes time and has to be selective. you've got to pick your priorities, and that's definitely not whatever ship or joke you're mad at me about today. therapy is a slow, arduous process that can't guarantee results - it isn't "anti-recovery" to recognise that, it's honesty. while I've been in therapy for a long time, it is not necessarily going to change whatever you don't like about me - whether that's because it can't, because my focus now is on more important or urgent things, or because I don't want to change that.

5a) "tell your family you ship incest, see how that goes; normal people find it disgusting"

actually, some know, and they're fine with it. in fact, one prefers sibling pairings in fiction to all other dynamics because, to paraphrase, "it's a deeper level of messed up co-dependence". so unfortunately for you, my remaining family (by which I mean those not dead or cut out of my life after abuse and so forth) actually are able to distinguish between fiction and reality. plus, my reasoning for caring if they find it gross or not pertains only to recommending books and such - their opinions do not dictate my tastes.

5b) "don't sexualise/appropriate incestuous abuse" and "I bet you enjoyed being raped" and other attempts to upset me over 5a

firstly, as I've already said here, survivors can't be appropriating ourselves. in addition, you're not owed people's history or trauma - it's not okay to require people's personal information, or else you'll send anon hate and accusations of appropriation. secondly, I'm not sexualising our abuse (not just because I write horror, and so a lot of my writing is intended to be creepy, not sexy); these stories aren't about us, they're not us at all. entire dynamics/people (fictional or otherwise) aren't all going to be applicable to us or identical to us, just because they have something in common with us; they're not us and they're not accountable to us. thirdly, the fact that people send this stuff (attempting to trigger people's trauma over ships) is so much more worrying to me than somebody making our communal imaginary friends kiss. you're trying to hurt people. and finally, to the "I bet you enjoyed it" crowd (if you're at all serious): do you think you'd enjoy being in a real zombie apocalypse, alone, afraid, and really at risk of being eaten alive? a fictional scenario does not feel remotely the same as a real one. this isn't rocket science - things that look like you aren't you; fiction isn't reality; don't send anon hate. (edit: comparable "just leave me alone, I'm not hurting anyone" sentiments for yandere stuff, and anything else you decide I'm naughty for.)

6) "you'll be sent off to do manual labour once your communist revolution happens"

while I don't know why people think that I'm a communist, a dictatorial regime probably isn't going to want me to do manual labour. they're more likely to just shoot me; I'm useless and a liability. call me crazy, but something tells me that "ah yes, we shall give ze deranged cripple ze power tools" isn't the communist position.

7a) "they/them can't be singular pronouns"

yes they can, and they're used as such in both shakespeare and the bible. but you don't have to say this - I'm also okay with he/him, so you could've just used those and chilled out. also, do I look like somebody who views the rules of grammar as fully immutable and imperative?

7b) "enbies/aros/pan/etc aren't valid"

do you really think that you're going to change any hearts or minds by putting that in my ask box or under my funny maymays? chill out, it's not worth the effort - you could be planning a party (in minecraft) and having fun instead. it isn't worth my time to rant at everybody who's saying something isn't valid, updating how I'm explaining it as my opinions grow and general discourse around it evolves; I'm just who I am, somebody else is who they are - why bicker in presumptuous ways about if that's enough? it ultimately is valid, in my opinion, but that isn't an invitation to keep demanding that I debate. (edit: old posts of mine probably don't phrase things incredibly, on this or anything... I tried.)

8) "what are your politics?"

my politics are informed first and foremost by the knowledge that I'm not cut out to be some kind of leader - I don't want to be the guy who tells everyone else what to do, I just offer what seem to me like valid criticisms of how we are doing things now, and general pointers on the values and ethics that I would prefer to move towards. things like individual freedom, taking the most pacifist route where possible, trying not to give excessive power to small groups of people (governments or corporations), helping those in need even when they're not palatable, and letting me suck loads of dicks. but please refrain from decreeing me something - there's not enough information in what I said, so you'll just be filling in the blanks with assumptions. (edit: workplace democracy seems cool to me; benefits are good; fair fines and taxes; and the "sperm makes you loopy" saga: 1, 2, 3, and 4.)

9) "you're a narcissist"

no, I don't meet the diagnostic criteria. joking on the internet that you're hot doesn't make a person a narcissist. the fact that I've chosen to keep my actual self-esteem issues to myself is not proof that they don't exist - you're just not entitled to that information about me. but it's also not narcissism to really like how you look. (edit: don't throw labels around carelessly too.)

10a) "kin list?"

the fabric of the universe, a zombie, dionysus, maned wolf/arctic fox hybrid, a comedian, big gay, big rock, ambiguously partial insincerity. (edit: kin list may or may not be incomplete.)

10b) "kin isn't valid/that's just being insane"

haven't we established that I'm deranged, and that sending stuff like this on anon is simply a waste of your precious time? besides, I do not care if it's invalid or insane - it's fun, I'm happy. (edit: see 7b for my opinion on sending me yet another ask with "that's invalid" in it; I'm not in the mood to discuss the nature of validity.)

bonus: "it gets better" and "trigger list?"

as I've said before, things just don't always get better for everyone - sometimes things can't be cured or even treated, sometimes they kill you; in some cases it could get better if not for a blockade or lack of time. the world is messy. it needs to be more normalised to reassure or comfort people without relying on saying that their issue will get better or be cured. it does suck to be this ill, but it also sucks to be made out to be a lazy pessimist, just because I have the audacity to not play along. and as for the trigger list, I don't like providing people with an easily accessed list of ways to hurt my feelings or harm me - upsetting me is supposed to be challenging, and thus rewarding. if you want a cheat sheet then you're out of luck, I'm afraid.

bonus #2: "FAQ stands for frequently asked questions, it doesn't need that s at the end!"

yeah, I know, I just enjoy chaos and disarray.

bonus #3 (edit): "what are your disabilities and how exactly are they incurable and/or deadly?"

again, I don't tell the internet everything about me, especially when it poses a risk, especially not as an easily accessible list for you to refer back to whenever you feel inclined to hurt my feelings. that is understandably a sore subject. (edit: that includes physical health issues btw.)

bonus #4 (edit): "so we shouldn't be critical?"

if it wasn't clear from my answer about politics or my post in general, you can have opinions about things, and you can voice that. it's just not realistic to exist at extremes: to think that you alone should dictate what exists in fiction, or to think that people shouldn't be expressing disdain or criticism of any calibur. say how you feel about things, that's fine, but it's also fine if people find that they don't value your input. plus we're all flawed, we can all be hypocritical from time to time, we all get bitchy, and we all make mistakes, or even knowingly fuck things up. that's important to keep in mind, whether we're talking about the one being criticised or the one doing the criticising - poor choices of words, imperfect tone, or contradictory ideas are inevitably going to happen occasionally.

congrats on reaching the end! if you have, at any point, said one of these to me, you owe a hug to your nearest loved one (once it's safe).

edit: might add more links/bonus points in the future when I think of things, but it's late now. (sorry for links where prior notes in the thread have my old url, that may get a tad confusing; also, not all links are my blog or my op, since it is to illustrate points/vibes, not to self-promo.)

[teenagebeautyqueen]

[Image description: a young person holds a mobile phone with a blue case and a paper on the other. the paper has a drawing of an umbrella colored with the trans pride flag. we can only see their upper body. they are looking down and to the left of the image. they're smiling without showing their teeth, and look relaxed. they're wearing a black, loose hoodie and some shorts can be seen at the bottom of the picture. they're also using black nail polish. on the background there is a door and a star wars poster. the other image is a close up of the paper. end ID]

🌈ʜᴇ/ᴛʜᴇʏ🌈

happy trans day of visability to all my fellow trans*!! here is me and my project for peace's day... i personally love it. it's on spanish, but i'll translate it for y'all.

the text on the left says "cada persona que conoces está luchando una batalla de la que no sabes nada. sé amable. siempre", which is the translation of that quote that goes like "every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. be kind. always".

the one on the right says "¿qué sentido hay en pelear? ¿por qué insistimos en sabotearnos mutuamente? Todos caminamos por el mismo sendero embarrado, todos nos dirigimos al mismo final." its translation is something like "what's the point on fighting? why do we insist on sabotage each other? we all walk the same muddy path, we are all headed for the same end."

and above the umbrella there's words like "odio", "acoso", "ignorancia" & "discriminación", which mean "hatred", "harassment", "ignorance", and "discrimination".

yeah i'm very subtle.

i've decided to share my story with the world. but i got kinda carried away. it's not s fairy tale, so don't read it if you're sensitive to themes like bullying, mental health issues, and toxic people.

——————————————————————

it's been... one ride of a journey, to say the least. i've said a few times that i started to question my gender around summer. but that's not quite true.

growing up, i never was fond of... anything that i associated with femenine, really. this included, but wasn't limited to, any color that wasn't blue (pink and purple get a special mention, i despised them), flowers, clothes too loose or too tight, shorts if they weren't from some sport, etc. i think you get the idea.

this collided with me being afab (aka a girl for everyone including myself) & neurodivergent. i wanted nothing to do with those things. but society wanted me to love them.

5 yo me said she didn't like Monster High. 5 yo female classmate said i was a weirdo. 7 yo me loved football. 7 yo male classmate said i couldn't play because i was a girl. 9 yo me hyperfixated on minecraft. 9 yo pretty much every classmate called me a geek.

so i stoped trying. for a while, i loved pink, wanted to have rapunzel's hair, watched disney channel, etc. but i already was the weirdo. i remember being three and friends with all of them. i remember playful fights for the toy rocket and reading books with the only other boy who could read, to ourselves, each other, and the whole class. but people grow up, and they change. so yeah, i was bullied. always the last one to be chosen, left alone on the bus rides, on my own at the playground.

and you'll be thinking "that sucks, but pao, how is it related to you being trans?"

you'll see, i didn't have many friends. i was kinda alone until i turned 7. then two new kids came to my class. let's call them eva and john. i made friends with them asap. i loved them so much!! they were my first friends since kindergarden. so i allowed myself to let go. i was already hated by most of my peers. why wouldn't i be myself with those who didn't despise me? (i was 7 when i thought this. 7 years old, and i thought that out of 20 people, 18 hated me. and then people wonder why i've got self-steem issues lmao. i'm tryna make the point that bullying in primary school isn't just some mean kids calling you names. i'm currently in high school and it still has its mark on me. but that's for another moment.)

so yeah. i went "wild". eva has adhd too (noice, right? i mean she has her diagnosis becaise she's primarly hyperactive, while i'm primarly inattentive, but we understood each other way quickier than with neurotypicals– even if i didn't know why yet), and john was kinda shy & corpulent (he wasn't fat, but he didn't look slim either), just like me. so we became friends. and i slowly opened up a little, while still playing my role of "the freak kid". i knew i was seen as that AND as the smart kid. double pressure, double bullying. but i had my small circle. it evolved until my current friend group, in which, god bless, there's a trans girl!! (eva's still on it– she's my best friend and i would die for her, no doubts. john can go fuck himself, the goddamned fascist).

but it ain't that easy. it never is. i'm 14 and afab. shit happens. y'all get it.

my first period happened while i was on a school trip (bad), on a hotel with no pads avaliable (very bad), on another country so i couldn't call my mum unless i had wifi because politics & stuff– and i did not have wifi (really bad). cue a lot of dysphoria (even if i didn't know it was that) + not being able to contact anyone. add the fact that i was the second one to have it, and it was some kind of taboo– it meant the other girls wouldn't leave me alone, and the result is clear: one of my worst panic attacks ever, on a tiny bathroom of some shitty hotel room.

from there it went downhill. my body started to become femenine, and the football short didn't make my hips smaller. my face, my oh so alarged face, suddenly became rounder. puberty hit me not only physically, but emotionally. and if that wasn't enough, we, as a class, were entering what's called here "the turkey age", a.k.a. teenagerhood, where looks become even more important. it didn't take long until i hated my body.

[WARNING: from here, this gets hard. mentions of eating disorders, depressive episodes/thoughts, toxic enviroments, homophobia/transphobia (both internalized and external), anxiety attacks, and thoughts of self-harm]

i thought "it's big, it shouldn't be big, it's fat. besides i don't want it to grow so fast. i want to make it stop growing. how? well, i grow up by eating. no eating=no growing".

yeah. eating disorder. when i think about it, i want to laugh. because it only took a few comments and "jokes" for me to be so angry at myself when i should be mad with them. i'm big. always have been, very likely always will. i've been told that i could make a very good rugby player. i probably would. i shared my cantine table with people (😔). and they wouldn't shut up. "[deadname], the rest wants to eat too!", "look at [deadname], she's gonna eat it all!". things like that. i stoped eating. i would pick up the smallest amount of food i could, even if my stomach was begging me to please eat something. eventually, my mum found out. and she helped me to grow out of it. i sometimes releapse, but never for that long. because i went on a whole year like that. and it sucked.

so, last year. socially anxious neurodivergent girl with several doubts on her sexuality gets to eight grade.

i play basketball. since i was little. i used to enjoy it a lot. we weren't a team– we were a family. loved 'em so much, 1000/10 one of the best things of my life. BOOM. now you're old enough & good enough to be on the "good" team. in the good time there's the cool kids. i am not a cool kid. oops. i was left behind, they all laughed at my back, no one cared about me (except one girl, but she was in the group and was scared to act until almost the end of the year. love her for that tho). i felt like shit. i was too scared to go to train. the sight of a ball scared me, because i couldn't help but think everyone was talking shit about me. we went to a national championship and when they went out to the city, they didn't tell me, then sent a pic of them having fun to the groupchat & delated it saying "oops it was for the other group". i had several breakdowns on my room that night. it was such a bad experience i can't even hear the name of the city without tearing up.

not to count that a new girl decided to make my life a living hell. now i know how to deal with her, but then i didn't, and i ended up curled up on the bathroom floor crying.

all while i discovered my own identity. i was so scared of being non-straight i hated myself for it.

it was a tough year and there were times where i would wish i'd never existed. it was too much for me to deal with, and i was just miserable. but i got out of it. remember the trans girl i mentioned? she's closeted, and she told me just this october. but even before that, she was my friend. she bought a new life to it all, a fresh one. i owe her a lot, including accepting myself as i am.

she is here, despite everything.

i am here, despite everything.

you are all here, despite everything.

some of us aren't here. they are the ones we remember. each one of us has our history. i shared mine with you all. it is not an easy road. you know that. it's hard, and it's tough, and it's difficult, and it's unfair.

but we are here, despite everything. the ones who made it, the ones who didn't, the ones who are halfway through it, and the ones who are to come.

we are here. we are trans. and we won't be erased.

[leggomylino]

❧

Just after he died, he sat up. 

You stare at your game, completely dumbfounded.

What the heck?! I know I just killed him with that last attack! I totally crushed the sorry little--

“Ding!”

“Ahh!”

You nearly drop your DS in a state of panic.

“What? Who? Where?!”

“Ding! Ding!” 

Slowly you look toward the only source of light in your room, other than your game screens and whatever’s managing to peek in through your curtains. With a shaky breath of past anxiety you crawl across the cream-colored carpet of your bedroom to lift your phone off the desk, stopping next to a grape juice stain that was 100% Han Jisung’s fault.

Speaking of Han Jisung...

Crap, you’d completely forgotten about him! You rush to the window, opening it just as a rock comes flying for your face, having to duck to avoid a black eye or a chipped tooth.   This guy. You peer down at him from your second story window.

“What the heck are you doing?! You almost killed me!” “Killed you?! I was aiming for the window not you!” You have to stifle a laugh at seeing him soaking wet from the automatic timed sprinklers in the neighbor’s yard, but it doesn’t go so well.

“Ha-ha, yes, laughing at my misery just like the rest of them. Hyunjin and Jeongin totally have corrupted you, liar…” You roll your eyes before throwing him a Sailor Moon blanket that could use a good run through the wash anyway, traces of a smile still evident on your face. “Geez, quit being such a whiny baby. I’m coming down, okay? Meet me out front!” “You expect me to trek back through no-man’s land?! What if my computer gets━”

That’s the last thing you heard, since you’d already rounded the corner on your way down the hall. You make a quick job of retying the messy bun of your I-may-or-may-not-have-been-brushed-in-the-past-twenty-four-hours hair before sliding down the rail of your staircase like a pro and swinging the front door open. Han meets you with a sour look on his face. He and Sailor Moon are both soaking wet, but somehow Luna and his laptop had managed to make it out unscathed. “I’m telling on you.”

“To who?” you laugh, stepping aside to let him in. “Hurry up and wait right here. I’ll go get you some fresh towels.”

He steps inside while his sour face turns quizzical, then slightly amused. “Hurry up and wait right here? The heck does that mean?”

“It means what it says! I mean, what it sounds like! Just…” You lock the door behind him, and he smiles. “How many cups this time?”

“......”

“C’mon, (y/n),” he chides, slinging off his pack at the door and tossing the wet blanket beside it. “How many?” Your brows furrow. “You’re not gonna tell on me, are you?”

His smile is nothing less than mischievous. “I dunno. Am I?” “Mrgrgr…” You march off to get him those fresh towels, your hostile movements warning him not to follow you, which he only laughs at and does anyway. ‘Cause that’s just the kind of jerk Han Jisung is. Smh.

The towels in the dryer are still warm from whence the cycle ended some hour and twenty minutes ago, so you toss him a couple of those and a smaller hand towel for his face or computer, whichever he decides to use it on. The pleasing scent of ginseng and honey-lavender dryer sheets wafts over your face and fills the small laundry room as you pull yourself out of the metallic chamber. “So what’s going on? Did you really come all the way over here just because you’re mad about the group text?”

He opens his mouth to say something, but the doorbell rings before he has a chance to answer. 

You blink towards the sound as realization crosses your face. “Wait right here. I’ll be right back!” You have to be careful as you scurry on sock-clad feet across the honey-brown floorboards to the front door again, passively on the lookout for any water Han tracked on his way in. You can’t help but smile with excitement as you fling the door open. You frown. So does Felix when he sees the look on your face. “Wow. Someone’s excited to see me.” “You’re not Jaemin,” you state dumbly. He manages to keep a completely stoic face as he shakes his head.

“No, I’m not. Who’s that?”

“My brother. I’m expecting him to come visit me soon. He does every Sunday.”

“I see.” He’s looking down at his phone, then pockets it a moment later whilst giving you a cheesy smile. “Are you gonna let me in? I’d hate to meet the same fate as Han. Especially because I just upgraded my phone for the new game release tomorrow.” You do your best to cast away your disappointment as you let him inside. “Yeah, whatever, come join the party.” You stick your head out the door to check left, then right, ensuring no other thots were left unaccounted for before locking up again. “You got other company or somethin’?” he asks, eyeing Han’s things.    “Nah, just Han. He stopped by like five minutes ago. He’s in the laundry room drying off.” You begin making your way back with Felix following a few steps behind you. “So what are you doing here? Also show me your phone, I wanna see! Wait, hold on, why do you need a new phone for Ultrascape? It’s not an app game, they’re only releasing it for Xbox and PS4. Also--” Felix begins to laugh a bit, eyeing you from above his phone screen that’d mysteriously found its way back into his hands. “Someone’s had coffee today. How many cups?” You groan as you break the threshold into the laundry room. “Seriously, you too? Why can’t you guys both just leave me alone…Hyunjin and Innie never give me a hard time about my drinking habits.” They both find amusement in your pouting, Han having just finished drying his laptop and tossing the towel into the hamper. “Wow, so you really do like them better than us. We can’t help it if it’s incredibly entertaining to make fun of your addiction problem.” “I wouldn’t say incredibly entertaining, but...yeah, pretty much.” the Australian boy agrees, giving a little shrug. He begins to mumble and ramble things into his shiny new phone screen. “Also it’s...y’know, kinda cute.” Something exotic washes over your cheeks and paints a picture of a sunny spring day on your insides, but you’re able to thankfully dismiss it as so thirty seconds ago as the doorbell rings yet a third time. This time when you open the door, you’re able to uphold the sheer joy on your face at seeing Jaemin smiling down at you with a drink carrier in one hand and a bouquet of lilies in the other. The ever-so-slight ombre tints in the roots of his light-dyed hair remind you of just how long it’s really been since you last saw him, even if it was only just a week. “I am Li-ly~ Of the va-lley~” he starts to sing, and you laugh, taking the drink carrier and giving him a cheesy wink. You sing back to humor him.    “Of the quiet peaceful valley over there~”

You fling your hand out into a random direction off yonder, and you both burst into a fit of giggles like it’s the funniest thing in the world. The moment you open the door to Jaemin’s weekly Sunday visits, every time, no matter what’s going on, the collection of stressful events and uninvited anxiety in your life just seems to melt away into nothing; one of the many things you loved about your brother. But Han Jisung doesn’t seem to get it, given the blank expression on his face as he’s staring the two of you down from ten feet away. He doesn’t say anything either, only making things that much more awkward. “Umm…” You put on another grin as you gesture to your brother like a Nobel prize, since he may as well be anyway. “Han, this is my brother Jaemin. This is Han Jisung, one of my friends I was telling you about.” you explain. Jaemin’s smile is genuine as he gives the young man a polite nod, the other doing the same in return. “A pleasure. Thank you for looking after (y/n) in my absence. I know she can be a handful the way she’s always running into things.” “You mean like trouble? Yeah, she does that a lot. You should have seen her when we introduced her to Minecraft. But yeah, the pleasure’s mine as well.” “Minecraft?” Jae gives you a strange look above his normally sunny disposition, to which you reply with a playful shove and a roll of your eyes.    “Yes Jae, Minecraft. Come on, you have to at least know that one.” “It’s not that I’ve never heard of it before. I’m just surprised you’re letting the season pass for League of Legends that I just bought you go to waste.” “I’m not!” you protest, stamping down your foot. “I just played a few rounds with Felix and Jeongin the other day!”

He shakes his head, tsking. “A few rounds...a hundred and eighty dollars down the toilet.” “Not so! We won! And I even...” Your voice trails off again as you look around, suddenly realizing something━ really someone━ is missing. You shoot Han a curious glare. “Where’s the other thot?” He’s engrossed in his phone like Felix was when he showed up at the door a bit ago, raising his eyebrows to show that he heard you. “Hm? Oh, he left about two seconds after you ran out of the other room. He got an emergency call from work.” “Oh…” You don’t mean to sound so disappointed, but it just comes out that way, and you can only hope the others didn’t notice. “Do you know what he came here for?” He mimics the action from before. “...Mmm...yeah, just a sec…” Just a sec quickly becomes a full minute, then two. You know the look on his face all too well. He’s definitely playing Fortnite. That’s what I get for giving him the WiFi password…

You grab Jaemin’s arm, pulling him away into the kitchen. Thankfully he doesn’t ask any questions. “Thanks for the coffee,” you say, pulling out your favorite particular beverage from the carrier after placing it on the island. Jaemin chuckles while searching the cabinets for a vase to put the flowers in. “It’s decaf, just so you know. I don’t need you bouncing off the walls after 3 pm, especially in your condition.” You frown at that last remark, but it doesn’t compare to the dreaded aura you send towards the thick stack of cards you failed to notice he’d been holding in his back pocket with a few smaller ones in the flowers. “What’s all that?” you ask; but you already know the answer. He’s eyeing you with warmth and delight, making it that much worse. “Why, this is your fan mail! I’ve got a tote bag full of them out in the car, but I just picked these up from the post-office on my way over. I thought they were for me because they were addressed in my name, but I think the girls must have gotten confused on who to address it to.” You scoff. No, they were just bold. Here’s the thing about your fan mail: It wasn’t for you. It was never for you. 

It was for Jaemin. Your supposed “fans” couldn’t give less of a hoot about you or your health. It was your strikingly handsome, fashionable, polished, boyfriend-material brother they were after. The moment your friends...who were never really your friends to begin with...the moment they found out you had a brother, and that that brother was Na Jaemin, well, they all about had a meltdown of lovesick heartache and went batsh*t crazy. It was then you realized they’d never really been your friends at all, that they’d just heard some petty rumor that you and Jae were dating, and when he cleared it up that oh, no, that’s only my sister, they just started using you to get closer to him. Word had spread over the time of your departure from the university, and after moving back home within the first two weeks one of those Mean Girls (probably Regina) thought it’d be a swell idea to send you a get-well card in order to get under your brothers good graces. And because your sweet caring brother also had to be such a gullible dumbass, he had to go and tweet the word out that it’d be so great to see more of these! thinking those girls actually cared. 

They cared alright, but not about you. So now you were getting mounds and mounds of these petty fake Get better! We’re always think of you! Hellmark greeting cards. And ironically, they were what fed your anxiety as of late. You open your mouth to finally tell Jaemin what’s really going on, because surely if he wasn’t getting it by now and the girls were getting this desperate it’d gone on long enough, but as you turn your eyes up to him from staring into the onyx marble counter-top something thin and sharp pierces a nerve in your gut. It’s Jaemin. You didn’t notice it before when he was standing so close, but now as you’re seeing him from across the kitchen, beneath the recessed lighting, he’s...thin. So thin. He’d always been slim, but never thin. He turns to the side, and you’re able to see his face now. His skin is a strange, almost translucent color, and there are deep purple blueberries under his eyes, the bags weighed down with hours and hours of lost sleep piled on by stress that shows in the poor coloration of his face. He’s still an attractive guy, of course, but...he looks like he’s auditioning for the role of Death. “Jaemin?” you say instead. Your voice comes out wavered, distorted, unsure. “Are you okay?”

“Hm?” He turns his head all the way towards you, and you feel like an idiot for not noticing as soon as you opened the door. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He smiles. “Why do you ask?”

Bless his heart, he’s putting on that fake smile for your benefit. You can feel your protective mom instincts winding into submission, the ones that usually only kick in when Jeongin’s around or that time Jaemin got the flu. “I dunno, you just look really...tired.” You stand. “Do you wanna lie down? I can take care of the flowers. I’m pretty sure the guest room is still clean if━ or maybe if you wanna crash of the couch for a bit━” His laughter cuts you off, and he shakes his head while waving a hand at you. “I’m fine, really. I’m always tired, you know this. Besides,” He finds a clear blue vase, carefully arranging the flowers inside and filling it with water. “You’re the one that needs to be resting. Go make yourself comfortable in the living room and pick out something for us to watch.” “......” “...What? Did you want to play a game instead?”

❧

[𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 (𝚢/𝚗) 𝚍𝚘?   𝙵𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝   𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚢   𝙱𝚊𝚐 ➤ 𝚁𝚞𝚗 ]

“......” You shake your head, wandering out into the living room.

❧

[𝚆𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎? ➤ 𝚈𝚎𝚜    𝙽𝚘]

[𝚂𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐… 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛…]

[(𝚢/𝚗) 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎.]

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝙼𝚢 𝙶𝚊𝚖𝚎  → 𝙽𝚊 𝙹𝚊𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗 |  [𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛!𝙹𝚒𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚡 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛!𝙵𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚡]

[ 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝙱/𝚈 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 //  ➤ 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝙰/𝚇 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎 ]

[xurkitips]

On Writing Child Characters

So someone in a Discord chat I’m in asked for some advice on how they could get more in character when writing a young child. 

A lot of media tends to depict children as either really obnoxious, or basically just small, slightly less mature adults, and neither is really completely right. While there’s really no specifically right way to write a child character, I have some things I always keep in mind whenever I sprinkle children in my own written works that I feel may be helpful to other people.

How did they grown up? 

Just like with any character, considering their home life, family, and friends will tell you a lot about how they may act and where their behavior comes from. A child from a loving/open home that nurtures their personality and allows them to grow will probably be more outgoing. A child raised by strict, cold, or even abusive parents may opt for being quieter, shy, more dependent on their parents. The behavior of the parents or guardian will definitely reflect in the child’s personality, as children look to their parents as role models.

Did they have a lot of childhood playmates? Pets? Or did they have to resort to things like movies/TV and books to make up for feeling alone or for having few friends? Friends or pets from childhood may bring happy memories and further promote their growth, while the lack thereof might promote a more distant or lonely personality, or even a child who is obnoxious in an attempt to draw attention to themself.

What makes them happy? 

Legit, every single kid has Their Thing, no matter how old they are. They are ALWAYS happy to talk about it, play pretend with it, draw, write, etc. Some kids are more shy about showing it if they've been dismissed by a friend or family member, but others are open with it to the point where everyone knows it. 

I personally have a cousin, who's twelve, and she talks on and on about Minecraft. She’s a budding artist who draws pictures of the game's animals/characters, often adding her own personal touches to them. My other cousin originally loved angry birds, but has now he's moved onto the Detroit Lions. He collects merchandise, catches every game, and knows every scrap of sports terminology to the point where when he talks about it, it sounds like another language.

What do they dislike?

Everyone has something they seriously cannot stand, whether it's a fear or just "Ew, Brussels sprouts!" While an adult would say, "I don't like that," kids tend to be more expressive and vocal about their distastes. Depending on the kid’s personality, they'll react differently and it’s something I think it's important to consider.

One might stomp or yell or scream and run away, another will be polite about it or very matter-of-fact in how much they don’t like it. Others may brag about how terrible or gross something is, or hide the thing they hate.

Please Don't Do The "What's Sex?" Joke Thing 

I really wish people would stop doing this. 

I see this a lot in writing and roleplay, and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. If you’ve never seen it or aren’t sure what I mean, I’m talking the moment where the eight year old walks in on their parents, who are talking about sexual innuendos, and asks what they’re talking about. 99% of younger children genuinely don't care or just think the names of bits are funny ("Haha you said boobies" "Haha butts"). 

Think back to your own childhood. There's a reason all those adult jokes in movies and TV soared over our heads when we were younger. We didn't understand them nor care and just kept going. We pick up on them heavily as adults, as we’re more familiar with them and more, but we simply don’t focus on them in our younger years since we ignore the confusing line for what we found funny. It's adult stuff and boring and what we like/want to do matters more than that. 

What makes them laugh?

If anyone else has been around kids extensively, you’ve probably noticed that they bond so easily to you if you do things that they find funny (or exciting, fun, or cool. It's not difficult to make friends with kids if you respect them, but I digress). 

A lot of simple, quick-witted or blunt jokes from come off as absolutely hysterical, and will stick like glue. Some things I personally found exceptionally funny were slapstick, silly things you wouldn’t expect to happen in the situation, and toilet jokes (because haha poop).

It's pretty easy to make kids laugh, all in all. They might recite a joke they found funny to many, many other people because it makes them laugh so much. They may try to surf off the hilarity of the joke and make a similar, but ultimately failure copy as the process of why it’s funny is often lost. Kids tend to be not very good at making their own jokes from scratch, or at least they aren’t often funny in the way they meant them to be. 

(That said I want this one to hang immortalized on my wall.)

If a child has been abused or treated badly, they may not recognize it as such 

There's a surprising amount of people (myself included, unfortunately) who only just realized as they became adults that how they grew up was not normal, and that how their caretaker or friend or family member treated them wasn't okay. 

Children growing up typically look to their parents for guidance on how the world works. Normally this is fine. But when you were born and raised in a more hostile environment, you straight up don't realize that your situation is not the way other kids live. You normalize it because, well, you don't know better by no fault of your own. 

It feels like a pretty common thing on the Tumbles to see abused children in roleplay or writing immediately going, "My parent is abusive and I hate them," and perhaps in some cases that happens. But it seems to be more common for children to be willing to forgive their family because they're family. As they age it might become vastly different as they process what's happened to them. 

However, the younger they are, the higher the likelihood that they don't want to leave the people they grew up with. It's a familiar environment and they love their family despite everything. That, and new people, places, and things can be scary to a younger child.

How do they express themself and their passion? 

Looping back to likes and dislikes again: 

Kids are often way, WAY more expressive than any adult. Usually because they've been allowed to roam free with their imaginations and their freedom of expression. They love a wide variety of things, but they express them in often more vibrant ways. 

For example, when asked why they like dragons, an adult might respond, "They're elegant, scary, metaphorical, the designs are beautiful, etc." 

A kid who loves dragons might pretend to be one, making sound effects while they stomp around flapping their arms. When asked why they like dragons, they might say, "They blow fire and they eat people and they're green and this one time i was watching The Hobbit and Smaug was like--" 

A high energy kid may love sports or running, might be a bed jumper or love to play pretend. A quiet kid may love reading or writing and be great at reciting facts about what they read. 

(Kids seem to love reciting facts in general, honestly. It’s fun to show off knowledge.)

One who likes bugs or frogs might collect them in containers to play with, or gross out their friends with a surprise frog in their hands because they think it's hilarious. One who loves singing may be into musicals/plays and performing arts, and may straight up sing or hum whenever they please.

Kids are so morbid 

Listen, I know everyone loves to be like, "Kids are so pure and must be protected," but when I was growing up there were at least three different Barney murder songs (among other horrible rhymes and tunes) that would cycle through out ears and out our mouths. Haha, Barney is for babies and he gets dead.

Honestly it was hilarious. It’s still hilarious.

My guess is that kids are curious about things we think of as "unsavory" topics; death, violence, gross-out stuff, war, predatory animals hunting down their prey, natural disasters, all that good stuff. 

Adults often try to not bring up these particular topics, whether because it’s sensitive, heavy, or they don’t know how to answer it. Which...only makes the taste of forbidden knowledge that much sweeter. You're not supposed to talk about it, so of course they're all gonna talk about it when the adults aren't watching.

Late night Llamas With Hats. Haha, he got stabbed 37 times in the chest.

Kids are spontaneous and goofy 

One of the things about "lol randoom XD tacos" humor that draws in the younger crowd is that you don't expect what's coming next. The protagonist shouldn’t be stepping on ducks. The situation doesn’t call for a musical number, but there it is.

It's always good to consider how playful and silly your child character is, especially if they're on the younger side, since that tends to be when most kids are filled with that boundless energy to do things. They’re are louder than they intend to be, love games and play pretend (which I mention a lot but I've never met a kid who didn't love pretending to be giant monsters or superheroes. My cousins loved Horrible Water Zombies: The Revenge). 

Me personally, I used to keep notebooks and draw really weird things. When I was thirteen I had a character whose favorite pastimes were, and I quote, “smashing watermelons on the mayor’s house and falling off cliffs.”

One of my cousins will literally walk up to me and say the most off the wall things. On one occasion, he just walked up, looked at me, then squatted while making some weird mumbling noise. When I asked him what he was doing, he told me, "Bulgarian Spit-Squats," and did that for like twenty minutes straight.

Acceptance and learning with kids 

I think a lot of people write children off as "dumb kids" but they will take a surprising amount in their stride and learn ridiculously quick.

True, children can also be cruel if they don't know any different. Like all people can succumb to mob mentality, not know to pull their punches, or know what words or actions have serious consequences. Most kids politely told right from wrong or talked to with respect instead of being just yelled at do change their behavior. Often quicker and easier than adults do.

When spoken to calmly and patiently and a good explanation of disability, disfigurement, why someone looks or acts the way they do, or why they have this tool or that tool to get around, kids will just accept it for what it is. And after learning about it, they might even start fact parroting, telling others what they've learned or telling them off when an adult says something bad. 

"No, Mom. It's because they have [disability] and that's why they [thing]."

I've heard lots of stories of kids doing this when told someone is gay or trans too, where they're quick to tell off adults who get nasty with those topics or correct them on someone's pronouns. Society has yet to imprint on them that these things are bad.

What do they want to be when they grow up? 

Lots of kids are excited to grow up and do the cool job they really really like. Doctor and policeman and firefighter seem to be the "common" responses since those are obligatory "helps people" and "exciting hero". 

But a child with a passion for something specific may be like, "I wanna be a marine biologist," "I want to be a painter," "I want to be like the guy on TV who talks about wildlife." It's also not uncommon to hear about a really specific or little known job that they've spent hours reading about. Oftentimes when sharing this info with adults they share it proudly and with enthusiasm, because at that point kids don't realize the misery of jobs they can't wait to walk in the footsteps of their heroes who are doing these cool things. 

There's also the kids who answer that with, "I'm gonna be a dinosaur," which sounds like a joke to us, but most of them truly believe if they work harder at pretending to be a dinosaur, they can achieve that. Later on those kids end up discouraged by learning that’s not possible. 

(I’m still disappointed.)