#please if anyone knows where it is or if it was uploaded somewhere i would appreciate it so much

[naumin]

november updates

ok so i know november ended yesterday, i did think about titling this post december updates but i know december will be a whole different beast for me... just let me have this... it's been a really long time since i sat down and talked about all my recent projects and goings on!!!! so in case you missed what i've been up to, read on... :)

the free Laios/Marcille fanthology I organised is OUT!!! no tall towers to climb (https://naumin.itch.io/laimar) came out November 10th, and erm only 5 days later than scheduled... it's a big boy at 112 pages with contributions from 14 fans !! I had so much fun organising this and was really touched by the love and care ppl put into their works... fans are so powerful... it's free to download and read digitally or even print and bind your own copy (I am really excited to see your printed and bound copies if you have made them please dont hesitate to @ me...) I love books.. i love making books...

I don't have plans to organise a Volume II however I did start writing a post of my process to maybe help and encourage anyone else who'd like to start a project like this one. It got really lengthy though and I wasn't sure if it was helpful to anyone lol so when I have a minute I really gotta go and edit that thing down

also nobody asked me but the title is based on a poem by 12thc warrior poet Xin Qiji. i guess the tower reminded me of their dungeon misadventures hehe.

also did i mention it's FREE! !!!!!!!

7 months of subscribestar I've officially been making new posts on substar every single week since May ! It's been really fun tbh and I don't have plans of slowing down yet :) I really appreciate everyone who's visited and it makes a huge difference even just subscribing for 1 month or 2, just having that little extra to help out on months where I can't take as many commissions or I'm sick or away from home etc! You may have noticed I've added a tip jar tier ($2.5) for those who can't manage the $6 sketchbook tier... on principle I wanna make it lower but after fees it'd be zilch and I am kind of like if you have $2... maybe hold onto that. lol. maybe use that somewhere else. you can always make 1-time donations through substar or ko-fi (yeah, I have one...) my next projects...

Ballet Yuri Year One, the compilation book of one year of works on Ilze & Evangeline, whos 1st birthday was in September and I haven't had time to look at the files since October but I will look at them again soon-- last spot I left it, it was at least 30 pages... I think it will definitely be double that and could possibly be triple that (omg).

NERD SEX VOLUME III my annual NSFW sketchbook which traditionally comes out around January/February! I'm delusional that this one will be the simplest to put together and so it might be the next thing you see from me. It will be available for all subscribers as soon as it's ready. I also gotta remember to upload Nerd Sex I & II at the same time. for those who dont wanna subscribe, you can get 50% off Nerd Sex I & II in the meantime now :) also i forsee about 300% more lesbians in Nerd Sex III. It's the year of the dyke.

A collaborative NSFW anthology coming next year. This one has a longer production period to give everyone time to work and give me time to get organised lol. Hopefully you'll hear more about this one in the new year! It's for the boys and the ppl who love boys <3

the issues oh my god I've been having technical issues with my ipad the last month. I keep getting random lines and marks while drawing in procreate ! A lot of people said it could be my sweater or hand or case touching the screen while I draw but I don't think that is it, plus it's only started recently. It's not my pen and it's not my settings. it apparently COULD be a technical issue with my ipad model which would suck cuz I got this refurbished (from Apple still) so do i have like..... warranty? will they repair it for me :S? idk. I'll have to look into it though sooner or later cuz it's driving me bananas and slowing my output! AGH! I pray she heals on her own overnight. amen.

commissions I am NOT taking any new commissions in December (unless you are a $10 subscriber) but I am still doing the KISS YCH which also has a very cute wintery version up for this month only lol. same price! check it out if you wanna see your pookies under the mistletoe <3 would make a great present to you or someone u know...

alright that's all. thanks for reading my updates post. did anyone read this whole post besides me? thanks for being there for a while whilst i talked to myself before you presumably left and did something more fun and enriching. i love you.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Ellis Twilight Chapters 6-10 Summaries 🗡

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. This is an extremely pared down SUMMARY of each chapter. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere. The summaries will be uploaded in groups.

Chapter 6

William and Alfons tells Jude, Ellis and Kate that an acquaintance of Alfons' is going to meet up with the head of the circus the following night in hopes to join the circus. William wants the three of them go to the meet up and bring in the head of the circus. Ellis is OK with the assignment, but Jude tells Alfons to go since he gathered the information. However, Alfons says he's too sensitive for interrogations, restraints, and fighting. Ellis asks if he can kill everyone and William says he can with the exception of the head of the circus, 'Loyalty to your evil'.

The next night, the go to the meet up place where a woman with bright red hair (Alfons acquaintance), enters a small unpopular bar that looks like an abandoned house. They wait outside, and soon they hear the woman exiting the bar saying that she wasn't going to do the job. Kate says that the 'solicitation' was aborted and Jude silently turns and walks into the bar. As Kate is about to follow him, Ellis notices the red-haired woman being dragged into an alley way, so they pursue the kidnappers in the alley way where they find the victim being gagged. The gang of men begin to attack Ellis, and he tells Kate to stay put.

Soon there are sprays of blood everywhere as Ellis takes each man out like he's cutting a thread shocking Kate that he wore the same face he usually did while killing them. After he finishes, he stands in a pool of blood and is like: That's all of them, I guess. He calls out to Kate saying that she looks pale, and then walks up to her reaching out to touch her, but she flinches trembling in fear. Ellis apologizes saying he knows it's scary and he says that he should've told her to close her eyes. Kate asks if the woman is okay and he confirms that she is just passed out.

Jude shows up pissed because the head of the circus got away and Ellis killed everyone, so they don't have anyone to interrogate. Jude carried the woman to the town doctor while she and Ellis return to the castle. Kate realizes as he escorts her to her room that she hasn't thanked him, so she does, but he tells her he made a mistake and should've had her follow Jude as he's messed with her happiness. He leaves her, but she grabs his hand because she feels that if he is so bothered and saddened with this, then he must also feel pain for taking other's lives.

He calls her sweet for worrying about him, but he isn't troubled at all. Kate is still worried that even though he'll get his hands dirty for the happiness of others, his happiness still doesn't matter to him, so she invites him to drink hot milk together before bed, and he smiles saying hot milk with sugar and butter are his fave. Now all Kate is concerned with is making Ellis happy.

Chapter 7

The red-haired lady they saved returned home safely after being treated at the hospital. Alfons tells the trio that Victor cleared up the bodies and got rid of the thug's identities who are apparently gang members who recently came from somewhere up North. This gang has already had a clashing with Jude because they were trying to blackmail his business partners into stealing money from him and framing him for it. In fact, the attack Kate had after she came to the castle was actually some low level thugs from that gang. But a gang posing as a theater troupe, what's the point of that Kate wondered? While Kate is curious as to why a gang would pose as a theater troupe, Alfons says that some people get together to have pleasant and unusual experiences, so if you're looking to snatch people, it would be a good front for bait. He says that William's team is working on taking out the gang's strongholds.

Ellis suggests they patrol the streets in the meantime, but Jude doesn't think it'll be necessary in light of last nights events as the thugs should be laying low for now. Kate asks what happens to the people kidnapped and she's told mostly likely they will become gang members themselves, and be forced to commit all manner of crimes lest they die from disobedience. All the while the more sin they commit, the less it'll bother their conscious. Kate thinks to herself that must be how Ellis can kill so easily, and if that happened to him while working for Crown, then she can't leave it alone. Later, Kate is reviewing her notes in her notebook about the events and she bumps into Ellis (who has the day off), so she invites him out to town with her.

They agree to do patrols and then go to the park in between the patrols for a picnic. As she waits for Ellis to meet her when she runs into Roger who asks if she's going on a date with Ellis. She says they're just going out and he tells her she looks pretty happy about it. They talk at length about Ellis, and the way Roger talks about Ellis makes her think that he's like his brother. Roger says that if he were his brother the first thing he'd have him do is quit working for Jude. He says that he cares about Ellis, but it's due to his cursed research. He says that in Ellis' case he simply has an attachment to his particular curse because if he doesn't make me happy he'll be troubled to the point of not being able to sleep.

She senses layers of implications in the way he speaks and when she asks him why, he says it's a secret. He says they all have things they want to have and to expose them comes with a price. She asks what the price is and he tells her it's capturing Ellis' heart as he thinks they're a good match together. She quickly changes the topic and asks him if he knows of anything that would make Ellis happy, or things that make him sad or can't tolerate. Roger says that as much as he'd like to tell her, Ellis' true feelings, emotions, desires....Kate cuts him off by asking is he doesn't know? Which would be odd by how much they spend time together. Roger says that there's no such thing as a person devoid of emotions and greed, and that she'd have to learn his secret.

Chapter 8

Roger leaves her and she wonders what she has to offer in order to open the box of Ellis' desires and feelings. He arrives and tells her she looks cute in her new clothes, she thanks him and they head to town. On patrol, they help out with a few minor things, but other than that nothing unusual happened. At the park, they set up their picnic, and Ellis lays down next to Kate agreeing with her that the weather feels nice. Ellis comments on how happy her face looks and when she turns to answer him she jumps at how close he is to her, and he asks if she's happy. She say's that with the perfect food, weather and because she can talk to him like this she is happier.

He asks if she's happier spending time with someone or resting alone, and she says she's the type who prefers to chat with someone. He asks her who she is at her happiest with when she's talking to someone, and she says she wonders if there is someone like that. He tells her to let him know when she's figured it out because he wants to help her be happy. He asks her how happy she would be with the person she loves? This takes her aback and makes her heart race, but she tells him he can not take care of her love life for her, but if she finds someone she likes she'll let him know. He doesn't say anything, but raises his body over hers and asks if she likes him. His soft bangs drop and touch her face and she asks him what he was doing. He tells her she looked lonely, but she is now embarrassed. He says that he thought she was aware of him. She thinks that she is always happy with Ellis, but it wasn't love, and she is just high on the fact that he's been so kind to her without any strings attached.

She shakes her head no and he says that's too bad. Too bad? He says if she were to like him then they could become lovers and that he could make her even happier. She asks Ellis if he likes her and he says that he does, but she is confused as he had just offered to help her find a lover. He said that wasn't a lie either because it's natural for someone to want the person to love be happy. She asks him what he likes about her as they've only known each other for a few days. He says that she's a hard worker, how she's cute when she can't resist eating something delicious, even when she's trying to patrol for people she doesn't even know; she's remembers his favorite foods and is kind enough to take naps with him, even worrying for him instead of being scared of him (over his killing spree).

She asks him how he’d feel if she said she like their current relationship, and he says that he’d be fine with it she wanted to be with someone else. Realizing that it didn’t matter to him, and the fact that she likes him as a person, she tells him she’s happy with just friendship, and he should find someone who will stay by his side forever. He gets this distant look on his face when he says that, and after calling him to his senses he gets off Kate and gives her a present. It’s a rose and thorn bracelet. She says that it matches the chains and thorns he wears on his outfit, which surprises him, but he says that he just thought its look good on her. Kate determines this must be what he subconsciously thinks and that it was a sincere gesture which makes her face flush. Soon they eat and return to patrol, and that night they go to one of the gang’s bases.

Chapter 9

Ellis Kate and Jude go to a casino that the gang uses as a stronghold and Kate is tense. Jude who is smoking but standing a distance from them asks her what she worried about. Just then a little girl on some nearby steps falls and scrapes her knee. Ellis and Kate go to check on her but she soon starts crying. Next thing you know a guy with an eye patch appears and cheers the little girl up with a magic trick. She stops crying and soon her mother appears and reprimands her for going off on her own. They leave and all three are suspicious of the guy with the eye patch.

Kate recalls Alfons telling him the man named Jake Grace has a scar around his eye from when he was attacked by a wild animal as a child. Jude’s scowling at the guy who is standing in front of Kate, with simply saying Ellis’ name, Ellis understands his meaning and stands between Jake and Kate. They question him about the kidnappings and he answers all their questions. Apparently, the owner of the casino is sponsoring Jake for a circus comeback. Jake recruits the people and then they go to train for their performances, but not once had Jake seen the ones he’s recruited. When he asked to visit them, the owner of the casino told him they still need more performers and then they’ll let him visit the mansion they're staying at. Ellis says he’s being framed for kidnappings and doesn’t even know it.

Jude remarks they’ll have to get close to the gang to get more information themselves. Ellis wants them to pretend they’ll join the circus. Kate says because the gang has a grudge against them and they'll be recognized and be snatched out there before achieving their objective. Ellis says they can disguise themselves by covering their faces, but Jude counters that they can still tell it’s them by their voices. So, Ellis says, can’t we just keep quiet? Jude and Ellis both silently stare at each other before Jude clicks his tongue in agreement. Ellis tells Jake as he’s leaving they want to join too.

Chapter 10

The three follow Jake into the theater after picking up some items along the way. Kate is now wearing a hat covering her eyes, while Jude and Ellis are wearing scarves wrapped around their mouths. Jake asks why the sudden change in wardrobe and since Jude and Ellis can't talk with the rick of being recognized, Kate says it's because they'd been outside for so long, that they may be catching a cold, so they won't be able to speak very well as their lips are getting chapped and throats are sore. Jude is whispering curses under his breath that she could've thought of a better lie than that, and Ellis smiles at her in approval.

Jake buys the lie and they proceed to visit the owner of the casino. Jake tells the owner that he's brought a few more recruits, but due to their appearance, the owner is suspicious of them, so he asks why they want to join. Jude walks up to him and speaks to him in proper Queen's English, which is so elegant that you'd think he were an entirely different person. He says he want because he's always been a fan of Jake Grace since his big box office hit, he then asks the casino owner if he is the one who sponsors Jake, and he says that he does, but there are some other higher ups. Jude inquires further, but the owner says that it's none of his business. Kate sees Jude give her and Ellis a certain look which she has learned from his other business meetings that means “hold you positions”, in other words, get ready to attack.

Ellis kicks over a flower vase to create a diversion and in no time he has the casino owner bound by the wrists with his ability. In the chaos, one of the thugs aims a gun at Jake and Kate saves him by pushing him out of the way which leaves her leg crushed by Jake landing hard on it. The pain is so excruciating it's hard for Kate to focus on watching Ellis and Jude. Meanwhile, Jude puts everyone asleep, including Jake. Kate asks why Jake must be put to sleep and he says that it's basically to protect him otherwise, he will have to kill him because this is a Crown mission. They learn from the casino owner that one night he stumbled on a drunk, sorrowful Jake and he thought that it would be easy to use him as cover for the human-trafficking business he went into.

They asked for the whereabouts of the people that were recruited, but at this point, it's too late. They've already been sold in the black market and they are all most likely outside of England now. Jude is upset because now the victims are out of their jurisdiction and Ellis says that not even Victor may be able to locate or do anything about it. The casino owner asks to be released and Ellis tells him that their aim was to stop the kidnappings, so of course, he must answer for his crimes. The casino owner is killed by Ellis and Kate passes out due to the pain of her injury.

In Roger's lab, Kate slowly comes to and here's them talking about her needing to rest and Ellis is visibly upset. She wakes up as Ellis and Jude were leaving which shocks them. Jude tells her to rest now that the case is closed. She asks what happened after she passed out. Ellis says the police were called by someone so they left. Jake and the remaining thugs were taken in, and he's sure they'll release him because he's innocent. Roger lends her a cane and Ellis takes her back to her room.

Premium story: He basically tells Kate not to apologize so much and to ask for things. That night she has a nightmare about Ellis being injured/killed, she wakes up wanting some water and when she tries to get out of bed she falls. Ellis knocks on the door and asks if she's okay and if she wants something to eat. Not wanting to trouble him, she says no, but he comes in anyways. She was going to apologize again, but he tells her not to apologize and to ask him for what she wants. She asks for a hug and he hugs her tells her that he's OK. He lays her gently in the bed and says that he will cast a spell on her to help her sleep, and he kisses her forehead.

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[savagewildnerness]

Memnoch The Devil Himself, I cannot cope with Daniel Hart sending me kind responses to a tweet wherein I was only doing a reply to say thank you, so it didn’t even need a response. *evaporates, like a vampire in the sun*… (please do not scatter my ashes. I wish to remain existing for eternity…. Just invisible & without the shame of being perceived; a ghost.)

(I’ve been wondering if anyone is interested in sheet music by the way? Currently I only have For A Young Violinist Again complete, where I have transcribed both lines…. I’ve done Imagine Never Being Able to Dream just the violin line & obviously the main melody of The Drum was my Heart… and all of Long Face in some fashion… though that would need fully re-doing with Daniel’s notes on it now….

But I was thinking, in the far future, I don’t know if it’s ok to share them, but maybe I could upload some stuff I complete if I ever got more completed somewhere with a donation to a charity button for a charity Daniel Hart supports? Anyway… at the moment it’s merely a thought & not a thing I’m doing. Not it’s no longer summer I don’t have as much trabscribing time anyway… but I speak my pondering aloud….)

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

anyways hey hi wassap you come here often heres what i have written so far of the wip where yuuri actually kills himself oh look more about his ED okay anyways have fun

It had been a fraught and largely sleepless night.

“I just don’t know what to do, Chris,” Victor sighed, rummaging through the box that held his collection of skin creams and serums. That cooling eye mask was in here somewhere, he just knew it, and after last night’s crying jag he needed it. “I really did think there was something there but now it’s like he wants nothing to do with me! But what else would him skating Stammi Vicino be if not a call and answer?”

It had been such a lovely interpretation, bursting with such sweetness and warmth that the downgraded jumps didn’t make a lick of difference. That video had burrowed into his heart and refused to surrender the newly won territory, leaving Victor feeling claimed and spoken for. Certain it had been the sign he’d been waiting for he’d rushed to Hasetsu in response and then found himself firmly, and loudly, rejected.

Chris sighed. “You know my opinion already, mon cher. It would hardly be the first time someone used the avenue of the heart as a shortcut to gold.”

“But the video-” Victor sighed and scraped a hand through his hair, setting it on his hip as he straightened.

He frowned around. The eye mask was, in fact, not in that box. But he could have sworn…

Victor knew his memory was, perhaps, not the best, but he could even see it play out in his mind’s eye. He could remember putting the eye mask in that damned box, he was positive about it.

“Victor, my darling, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you’re looking for something that just isn’t there. Regardless of why he skated your routine - and I can see why anyone would, it’s beautiful choreography mon frere - we don’t even know if he was the one to upload it to his rink’s page, or if he signed off on it. I’ve checked for you, love, he hasn’t posted links to that video on any of his socials.”

“But he hardly posts anything to his socials to begin with,” Victor whined.

“If there’s any of the boy I remember remaining in the man, if it was to reach out to you? He would have.”

And wasn’t that a grimly effective rejoinder? Victor weighed that over as he continued to cast over the boxes but at this point, his heart almost wasn’t in it. He was just sad, and he was tired, and he was very painfully confused. He’d agreed to be Yuuri’s coach simply to get closer to the man and he’d still been rebuffed. And after having greeted him so beautifully in the bath, too. That had seemed to be very fortuitous timing, it allowed Victor to put the very best of himself on gleaming display and show just how fit a partner he could be, but what had worked on literally everybody else just hadn’t worked here.

He’d been yelled at.

He’d asked to sleep with Yuuri and Yuuri had yelled at him. Sure maybe it was a bit soon, maybe he’d been a little over enthusiastic, but he couldn’t get the way Yuuri had run away from him out of his head, the horrified warble in his tone. Maybe he was straight? A homophobe? Victor could have sworn there had been a beautiful chemistry between them, an erupting geyser that spoke to a connection a future could be built on, but though they’d exchanged phone numbers Yuuri had never called him. Never texted him. He’d never even messaged him on any of Victor’s socials the way a person might have if for whatever reason Victor’s number had been lost. He’d not heard hide nor hair from the man in months. He’d been ghosted.

He, Victor Nikiforov, had been GHOSTED. And ghosted by not just anyone, but by the last place finisher at the GPF. His pride was offended on that premise alone. Yuuri Katsuki should have been begging just to be on the same ice as him. 

Victor was an adult however. He knew that maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t exactly reasonable. He’d wanted Yuuri to reach out to him without saying so, had tried to play it coy, had tried to be cute, and it’d backfired to slap him in the face. The last few months had been a veritable rollercoaster of worrying, fretting, of heartsick sighing, of does he or doesn’t he, will he or won’t he, with Victor steadily driving himself to the wailing brink of insanity. He’d just decided to get over it and move on with his life when Yuuri’s interpretation of Stammi Vicino went viral.

“Maybe you’re right,” Victor murmured and sat on the bed next to Makkachin, reaching over to run his hand over the sleeping dog’s flank. “Maybe he’s just not that into me.”

Chris’s tone was sympathetic, but firm. “I do think that is the case, darling, yes. I’m sorry.”

Victor felt his chin wobble a bit but after last night there was just nothing left to cry. He dropped his face into his hand.

“Oh, you must think me so foolish, my friend.”

“Non, Victor, only a hopeful romantic yearning for connection. There is no shame in that, mon cher.”

“Well,” Victor gestured hopelessly at the room he sat in, small and piled high with the boxes that had been meant to declare how serious his intentions were. “I’m here. I even agreed to coach him, Chris. What do I do, I can’t just leave?”

“Why not?”

Victor stared, a bit flummoxed. “What do you mean?”

“Why can you not simply leave? Have you already signed a contract?”

“No,” Victor pouted. “I wasn’t planning on having one.”

“And that’s something we’ll come back to at a later date but for now, perfection. You can simply walk away. You do not have to give your time to a man who doesn’t want it, and you are allowed to change your mind. There is no obligation to Yuuri Katsuki here, except perhaps the sight of your award winning ass as you sashay out of his life and make him regret what a fool he was to play with your heart. You can take your vacation here in Geneva, I’m sure I can find a hot spring around here that’s just as fair, if not better, than Yu-topia.”

Chris sighed. “Laying your heart at the feet of a man who won’t appreciate it simply is not worth it, darling. Take it from me, it just isn’t. I know this is a first for you-”

Victor snorted and rubbed at his eyes. “I’ll say.”

“-but it happens to everyone at some point, cher, it is just an unfortunate part of being human.”

“Right…” Victor sighed and lowered his head, shutting his eyes with a grimace. “Right.”

“Tell you what. Stay a week, enjoy what Hasetsu has to offer, play the tourist, take your mind off things. Show him that you are strong and unaffected by his mind games! Then at Worlds, if he even makes it in, we’ll trounce him. Ca joue?”

Victor felt his lips twitch into a smile but his heart really wasn’t in it. “Da. Alright. You make good points, Chris.”

“I do, you were right to call me. Just imagine if you hadn’t? You would have been stuck out there wailing after a man who only seeks to use you! But seriously, mon frere, I’m glad you called me. I know things have been hard for you lately, but as far as seeking inspiration goes, this just isn’t it, darl.”

“You’re right,” Victor laughed. “You’re right. Okay. I’ll buy those tickets then I’ll text them to you. Thanks, Chris.”

“It is no problem at all, Victor. Call me back if you need anything at all, okay? And don’t be afraid to text me to vent either! We need receipts for the eventual call out post,” Chris said with a laugh.

Victor laughed again, a lightness beginning to trill through him. Chris was a good friend, for all that he was competition. He was glad to have him.

“I will do. Give my love to Masumi and Georgia, yes?”

“And you kiss Makka-dear for me. We’ll talk later, darling. Kisses.”

“Kisses,” Victor said.

He ended the call and looked around, allowing himself another sigh in the privacy of this small room. The boxes, a good portion of his life packed up and shipped to a country he’d only been to for competitions, were embarrassing to look upon. Humiliating, really. He’d been so desperate.

Victor looked down at his phone and navigated to his gallery the way he’d been doing for months, now. Yuuri Katsuki was devastatingly gorgeous once you got a good look at him, and that banquet had allowed Victor a very good look. A good look, and a good feel, too, of those broad and sturdy hands, masculine yet poised. They’d held Victor so readily, sweeping him into dance after intoxicating dance, Yuuri’s cheap oxfords elevated through the sheer power of his elegance and verve. They had laughed together, and sang together, and then at the end of it-

For all that Victor’s memory was shoddy it was impossible to get Yuuri’s slurred request out of his head, the vision of his shining eyes in the flowering flush of his face. It had felt as though, in that moment, Victor had been made human.

Not a picture, not a prop, not a manifestation of the ice - sleek and perfect and beautiful. No. Human.

Yuuri had seen a person in him that had the intelligence and the ability to guide him, had faith in Victor’s ability to be more than just a lonely gold toting figurehead.

At least, that is what it’d felt like at the time.

Looking through these pictures and videos, collected by both himself and others, it was hard to believe that Victor was seeing something that simply wasn’t there. It was the same in Yuuri’s performance of Stammi Vicino. To Victor it had been a dance of loneliness and yearning. He was old, and he was tired. He’d given everything to the ice and it had left his life devoid as a result. Victor craved the ability to be a person with someone who could love him. Yuuri’s rendition, though - it harkened to a heady affection, steeped too in yearning and readiness but so open and pleased that, where Victor cooled, Yuuri smouldered.

Victor had been so sure, and so had allowed himself to be played for a fool.

He threw his head back with another sigh, a longer one, and eyed the ceiling for a moment.

‘No, Chris is right.’ He shook his head and stood. ‘He’s pretty but he’s not that pretty. I won’t let myself be taken advantage of or used as a stepping stone just because a man is attractive.’

He’d enjoy Hasetsu for a week then he would go. There were eight billion people in this world - surely one of them could be a match for him, even if it wasn’t the man he’d thought it was. 

‘Perhaps this is karma,’ Victor snorted to himself with a wry shake of his head as he started to shuffle through boxes again. That damn eye mask, where was it? ‘For breaking so many hearts in my you-’

“Ah HAH!” Victor yanked out the eye mask with a crow of victory, thrusting it toward the ceiling. “There you are, you tricky, blasted thing.”

If he even had a heart. Victor snorted, then paused and looked at the box behind him, the one he could have sworn he remembered putting it in. It should have been right next to the toner.

Strange. Oh well. Shaking his head, Victor stood and dismissed it. He had higher priorities - namely ensuring that he was so beautiful he both broke Yuuri Katsuki’s heart, while telling the man he’d never been worth Victor’s consideration to begin with.

~~~

Just looking at him, you wouldn’t expect that level of playboy maliciousness.

“Oh, Victor, good morning!” 

Yuuri’s eyes were large beneath the flop of his fluffy black bedhead, the smile on his face glittering in warm and excited welcome. It made Victor’s own heart flutter and in response he firmed himself. This usually wasn’t something he had such difficulty in, typically Victor could spot these types from a thousand paces and treat them as they deserved, but Yuuri just seemed to have some sort of way about him, an innocence perhaps, or a welcomness that spoke to an instinct of safety.

‘He must use it with deadly precision,’ Victor thought with a nod and smile in answer, sitting next to him.

He would not let himself be fooled again.

“Did you and Makkachin sleep alright?” Yuuri asked. “She wasn’t too unsettled, was she?”

The man was even asking after the welfare of his dog. Victor forced his opinion of his own foolishness to gentle because anybody would get suckered in by this.

“We both slept just fine, thank you for asking,” Victor said and let his gaze drift about the table. Despite the soft sounds of dining in the background from the other customers, there was no food here as yet, only what looked like a cup of tea and a sheet of paper. It was that which caught Victor’s attention and he reached over to take it.

“What’s this?” He asked, though the moment he laid eyes on it he didn’t need to.

Ah. Meal plan.

“I was so excited I couldn’t sleep,” Yuuri admitted with a laugh and a scratch of his cheek. He straightened his glasses and leaned in closer, and Victor struggled not to be drawn in as though he’d been magnetized. “So I thought I’d draft up a meal plan!”

The man kneeled back, determination shining through his face. “I want you to know that I’m taking this very seriously and-and that I’m not going to take this chance you’re giving me for granted, Victor. I promise, I’ll do my best to be the best pupil you’ve ever had.”

‘With the exercise, it’s a bit low, isn’t it?’ Victor thought as he looked at the estimated calorie total for each of the meals, then shook himself of it. He wasn’t doing this. In fact, he’d be best off if he simply left right now before he could get swept up by Yuuri’s spell yet again for surely this must be witchcraft.

“Actually, about that,” Victor said and set the sheet down, turning to look at Yuuri. 

He perked so obviously to attention that Victor’s words nearly stalled out. Months, Victor reminded himself, months of no contact only to be wailed at.

‘He’s hanging on my every word so attentively,’ Victor almost frowned. ‘It’s hard to believe, but that is the reality of the situation.’

He could change his mind again, Victor knew. He could become Yuuri’s coach and get to know this man, really properly know him, find out the long way what that lack of communication had been about, discover the mystery behind Yuuri’s interpretation of Stammi Vicino. Victor could do that.

He had to be strong.

“I’ve changed my mind,” Victor said with a smile. “I’m not going to be your coach after all, Yuuri.”

All that glittering enthusiasm drained out of Yuuri’s face, a sight so sore to see that Victor actually had to rip his eyes away from the pallid ghost it left behind. His heart was throbbing, baying even, with pain. The sensation grew to a scream as Yuuri said, oh so softly, “Oh.”

If there was anything that should have drawn out the entitled heartkiller that surely lay beneath, it should have been this. Instead, when Victor glanced at him from the corner of his eye, Yuuri still looked like he was trying to pick up the fragments of his thoughts as though they’d been scattered by a shotgun blast. 

Months, Victor reminded himself, and drew in a deep breath, pasting the smile more firmly to his face.

“After last night I did a lot of thinking.” Victor tilted his head to look at Yuuri. He shrugged delicately. “And I’ve decided it’s just not worth it.”

What fragmented remains Yuuri had seemingly gathered fell away, again, dropping to leave the man paling and round eyed. Victor very nearly grimaced. Those eyes were the assassins of a guilty conscience, he swore. There was no pleasure in this. This just felt like kicking a puppy. He blew out a short sigh and stood.

“I just wanted to let you know that,” Victor said and turned to start walking away to his room.

~~~

It was seeing him walk away that jerked Yuuri’s mind back into motion.

“W-Wait,” He whispered and jerked, nails scraping the tatami as he forced his numb and clumsy body upward. “Wait!”

He caught up to Victor in the hallway leading to the man’s room, those otherwise painfully empty vacancies, and when he didn’t stop Yuuri put on a burst of speed. His hand careened outward and settled onto Victor’s wrist.

It was warm, in the brief space of time Yuuri got to feel it before Victor jerked away. But he’d stopped and even turned so Yuuri could see his face, meeting Yuuri’s gaze with expressionless eyes. The smile the man put on in response made Yuuri shiver.

“Yes?” Victor asked, tweaking at the sleeve Yuuri had touched.

Yuuri swallowed the shame and forced himself forward. How did he go about this? His entire future, his idol, this wonderful man - he was walking away from him without so much as an explanation. Yuuri had to at least try.

“I-I-,” Yuuri stammered, withdrawing his hand to his chest.

Victor quirked a beautiful slender eyebrow. “You?”

He restrained his flinch and took in a deep breath then swung into a deep bow, hands firm at his sides.

“Please, if I’ve already disappointed you, please give me another chance to make it up to you. I promise to be a diligent student and work hard, Victor, I won’t let you down.”

There was a long breathy sigh and Yuuri could see Victor’s feet shift. “Won’t let me down, he says. If I’ve disappointed you. Wow. This is impressive.”

Yuuri’s head lurched up even as his heart sank into his chest. So it was something that he’d done. It’d only been an afternoon and a night, what could he have already done to mess up so badly?

“I-If-If I’ve offended you in any way,” Yuuri said and forced his head down again. He could feel himself begin to shake. It was getting hard to breathe. To talk. He was already falling apart. “Please tell me so I can-”

Victor’s feet turned and walked away, and Yuuri’s heart stopped. He felt his head rock up, his breath petering out in his too dry mouth at the sight of Victor’s back. The sunlight glowed shimmering threads through his hair, his bearing as regal as he was beautiful, his motions the epitome of the grace and artistry that had captivated Yuuri for so long.

And he was walking away.

Yuuri’s body was moving before he’d even realized it and the next thing he knew he was staring up into Victor’s incalculably cool face. His breath was moving in and out in mighty rasps, and Yuuri watched as the man’s features became watery and indistinct. Yuuri’s body felt numb with panic as he dropped down onto his knees, set his hands upon the floor, and bowed his head overtop of them - the only thing he could think of to express his ultimate contrition.

“Ou,” Victor cooed above him and clapped. “Japanese dogeza!”

Yuuri clenched his teeth then let it go. He surely deserved this. “Whatever it is that I’ve done, I apologize. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. P-Please tell me so I can make it up to you, I promise, whatever it is I’ll-”

A pair of fingers slid beneath his chin just the way they had last night, lifting his head. Yuuri felt his tongue grow wooden and thick, and his clumsy words trailed off. “-do…it…”

Victor was still smiling, but this was not the rich and syrupy expression of last night, the one Victor had given him while Yuuri tried so desperately to keep his eyes from sliding down below so inappropriately to that glorious revelation of skin. No, this was cool. This was exactly the kind of smile that Victor seemed so prone to performing as late, the one that had stoked the fires of Yuuri’s concern because for so long now it’d just not seemed happy.

Yuuri swallowed deeply, aware that he was crying and hoping he wasn’t too much more of a disgusting mess because of it.

“You just graduated university, didn’t you?” Victor asked, his voice soft as that warm and elegant hand trailed up his jaw to his cheek, and swept some hair behind his ear. The gesture was affectionate but something in it made Yuuri want to flinch and shy away as though it were a threat.

He forced himself to nod. “Y-Yes.”

“Double major? Suma cum laude even.”

Somehow feeling as though he was being insulted, Yuuri felt his face grow very hot and he swallowed back the shame again. He nodded.

“Then I think you’re plenty intelligent enough to know exactly what you’ve done, little piggy,” Victor said and tapped his nose. This time Yuuri couldn’t restrain his jump back, even as the cold of Victor’s words settled into him and made themselves deeply at home. 

Aghast, Yuuri watched the smiling man as he drew upwards and walked away again with a clipped, “Goodness knows our cultures can’t be so different that kind of behaviour is acceptable here.”

This time, Yuuri couldn’t make himself go after him. He felt as though he had grown thick roots and they’d lashed him to the hardwood, his body no longer flesh and bone but instead gone to cypress.

‘What did I do?’ He could barely feel the tears as he watched Victor open the door to his room, the largest they had, and slowly dropped his eyes. The thought was so intense it must have blared through his senses. Even the sunlight seemed to grow dim. ‘I-I don’t know. What did I do? What did I do?’

He didn’t see Victor turn to look at him, and hesitate, his feet twitching back before he grimaced and shouldered through the door. He only heard it slam behind him. It was that which broke Yuuri out of his stupor, his whole body jerking at the sound. He bolted for his room.

There, he scrubbed his face and paced, one hand firm on his mouth to restrain any ugly bawling and the other clutching tightly at his stomach. Back and forth, back and forth he went, his mind racing, turning over possibilities. Victor had asked to sleep with him last night and horrified at the thought of the man seeing what was essentially the shrine Yuuri had built to him in all his fanboy fervor, he’d yelled. Had that been it? Or had it been because he’d said no?

That thought actually dragged his feet to a stop.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

‘Victor’s never struck me as that type of man, though,’ Yuuri thought and resumed his pacing, chewing hard at a hangnail. ‘Not to mention he’s Victor, people would be lining up. The casting couch is the last thing he needs. No, that can’t be it. Fuck. This is just typical of me. It hasn’t even been a full twenty-four hours and I’ve already ruined this practically beyond the point of repair. Typical Yuuri Fucking Katsuki.’

Victor wasn’t going to tell him, though, that much was clear. Somehow, Yuuri was supposed to figure this out for himself. He whisked his glasses off and drew to a stop again, palming his face and trying to breathe through the panic.

His eyes opened. ‘Chris.’

Since Chris had moved up to Seniors, the friendliness between them had shallowed significantly into a yesteryear style twilight. Yuuri wouldn’t really consider them friends anymore, if they’d ever been to begin with, and wary of being intrusive he’d taken the distance for what it was and not tried to push his luck. He no longer had the man’s phone number, but they were still mutuals on a few socials. Yuuri lunged for his phone and swiped through the lockscreen, ignoring the misery that made his heart thud at the photo of Vicchan he still had as his wallpaper, and made his way over to Instagram. His eyes swivelled through any recent posts there just in case, his first, then Victor’s, then Chris’s. He couldn’t see anything that might have some sort of-of clue, of hint. He threw himself into Chris’s DMs, noticing the last messages there had been years ago, then paused.

He had to be, Yuuri knew and bit his lip, very, very careful in how he worded this.

Chris was Victor’s competition, yes, but Chris was also Victor’s friend, their friendship so genuine seeming that Yuuri deeply doubted it was some sort of press-thing the way some conspiracy theorists believed.

He was happy for Chris in that, even though he’d also admit to a little bit of jealousy. Yuuri had hardly been the only skater of today who Victor had inspired.

Chris’s loyalty had always been to Victor first - to the one who had believed in him.

Yuuri blew out a hard breath. Just sitting here and staring at the screen wasn’t going to do anything, and if anyone knew what the hell Yuuri had done to fuck up so badly it surely had to be Chris. He chewed on his lip for a moment longer then shook his head and started to type.

‘Hi Chris, long time no chat. I hope you’re doing well, congratulations again on your silver at Sochi. This might seem strange, and I apologize for that, but Victor is currently staying here at Yu-topia and I’

Yuuri’s thumbs crawled to a stop. A string of flesh began to fray from his lip. His teeth worried at it. Another deep breath. ‘C’mon Katsuki, man up.’

‘I fear I’ve already managed to deeply offend him and I’m sorry and ashamed to say that I don’t know how. I know you two are friends. I was hoping you might be able to tell me something, anything, so I can understand what I’ve done wrong and make up for my-’ What was the fancy English word for ‘fuck up’? English had its own rules of formality, which this type of request certainly required, and ten-dollar words were a part of it. Swearing was most certainly not. Yuuri cast for it then nodded. ‘-gaffe. I would be in your debt. Thank you.’

There. Yuuri read it over once, twice, ten times, then after the fifteenth he took in a shivering breath and sent it before he could chicken out. Then Yuuri dropped onto his bed, abruptly exhausted, and looked around his room.

‘Maybe he got a look in here and realized I’m nothing but a creep,’ Yuuri snorted bitterly, then jumped as his phone buzzed. He blinked and looked down at it. He hadn’t actually been expecting such a quick reply, maybe Chris had actually-

‘you know exactly what youve done 😂’

‘🐷🐷🕺’

Yuuri almost growled with frustration and quickly typed back that he was clearly an idiot who really didn’t, but the message wouldn’t send. He tried it again.

‘He blocked me,’ Yuuri realized with a sinking feeling of dread. ‘He actually-’

He quickly checked the other socials they shared and found himself blocked on them as well. He was too stunned to even cry about it. Cold, Yuuri set the phone to the side, clasping his face and staring into nothing. 

Eventually the wordless shock began to churn over into thoughts, into ideas. Yuuri looked at the phone screen again then took a screenshot in a flash of paranoia.

He read and reread long enough to have the short exchange memorized. 

‘Two pig emojis and a dancing man,’ Yuuri thought, feeling like he was trying to interpret hieroglyphs. ‘What the hell does that mean?’

He scrubbed his face with a sigh then looked up into the face of one of his posters, searching the planes of Victor’s exquisite features and lines as though they could give him some sort of clue. He, of course, came away with no new ideas.

The only thing Yuuri could think of was to wait for the emotions to cool then try again.

He got his opportunity come lunch, which Victor had asked to be delivered to his room. Yuuri tried not to breathe in the delicious scent but it still made his stomach growl, reminding him that he’d yet to eat today. He hadn’t wanted to until Victor, as his coach, gave his approval or disapproval of the meal plan Yuuri had drawn up.

Last night, the bounding happiness and excitement that had glittered through him and stolen his sleep until he’d finally crashed at just after three, already felt like a dream, a distant memory. With things as they were now, the thought of asking Victor to be Yuuri’s coach was the last thing on his mind, he just wanted to-to fix this somehow, to make it up to him.

The thought of Victor being mad at him curdled any stirrings of an appetite Yuuri had right to rot. He shuddered as he came to stand outside of Victor’s door, then took a deep breath in and knocked.

“Come in.”

Bracing the tray against his hip, Yuuri did so, refusing the urge to look at Victor and instead keeping his eyes down.

“I’ve brought your lunch. You ordered the squid tempura set with green tea?”

“Ah, perfect! Yes I did, thank you very much. Just on the table is fine,” Victor said from his seat on the couch, barely looking up from his phone.

Yuuri nodded and, doing his best to be as quiet and unobtrusive as possible, made his way to the table and kneeled at its side, divesting upon it the contents of his tray.

“It looks delicious,” Victor said, and Yuuri was helpless but to look up and see the delighted glimmer in his eyes. Makkachin’s nose was really going too, her head lifting from Victor’s lap.

He smiled a bit. “I think mom’s cooking is the main reason we’re still open. I hope you enjoy.”

“I’m sure I will. It’s no wonder you’re such a little piggy, surrounded by such delicious food,” Victor laughed.

Yuuri made himself laugh too, though he was certain it was quite weak. He murmured an agreement then, unable to help himself, poured Victor a cup of tea. He should leave. He typically would. Instead Yuuri stayed right where he was, clutching the serving tray to his chest between his arms and gripping onto it tightly.

He almost felt it when Victor looked at him, and held onto the tray all the tighter at the next soft chuckle.

“Does the staff dine with the customers in Hasetsu? How interesting!”

Yuuri looked up. “No! No. Uhm.” He lowered his head again. “No. I’m. Sorry for intruding on your meal. I-I was just.”

He swallowed deeply and squeezed his eyes shut. “I wanted to ask for you to please take pity on me and tell me what I’ve done so I can apologize to you properly, Victor. Please.”

Yuuri laughed and was a little horrified at how wet it sounded. “I’m an idiot, and I can’t figure it out. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, I see. Hm.”

Yuuri opened his eyes and peered through his frames upwards at the man, thumbnail scraping the tray back and forth. Victor was looking at the spread of food before him, seemingly more interested in his meal than in Yuuri himself, which honestly wasn’t unfair. He still didn’t look about to answer. Yuuri hugged the tray tighter to his body and forged ahead. He really didn’t think this was it, but just in case it was-

“If-If this is about your…request last night, I-”

“When I asked to sleep with you?”

Yuuri hesitated then nodded. Victor hummed and reached forward to gather up his chopsticks and the small dish of rice.

“Maybe a little bit,” Victor said.

Yuuri felt his shoulders hunch in deeply. This was so terrible to even say, but, well. If it was Victor, then-

“I would be willing to, if that’s what you’d like,” Yuuri pushed his voice out but it still came out not much above a whisper. Whether it was simply sharing a bed, or if it was sharing a bed intimately, if it was with Victor, then, at least it was Victor.

Victor just laughed, louder this time, and the humiliation turned Yuuri’s ears red, welled deep in his throat until he was forced to swallow or risk choking on it.

“I’m hardly the kind of man to go where he isn’t wanted, Yuuri, your chastity is safe with me,” Victor said, his tone hair-sizzling with its contempt. “No need to look so afraid. So. You really don’t know, hm?”

Mute, a little worried he might break the tray with how hard he was clinging to it, Yuuri shook his head.

“I see. Alright. Well, I’ll be sticking around for a week to take in the sights and enjoy your family’s hospitality. If you can figure it out before then, let me know. Until then,” The levity dropped out of Victor’s voice. “Don’t talk to me unless you know exactly what you’re apologizing for. Now please leave. You’re ruining my appetite.”

It was difficult to move through the weight dragging his limbs down but Yuuri nodded and quietly left, closing the door behind him. He returned the tray to the kitchen, washed it, dried it, left it with the others. His mom asked if Vicchan had liked his lunch and Yuuri said yes, he had. Then he left and went back up to his room, where he silently shut the door. There, he took his phone out of his pocket and navigated back into his and Chris’s conversation. Two pigs, and a dancing man. He backed out, sliding to the floor and curling up as he went again through Victor’s socials, through Plisetsky’s, Babicheva’s, every skater in the senior division who he followed. There was nothing. Thinking himself insane, Yuuri popped into his own camera roll, scrolling, scrolling. It was all the same as it ever was. The same was true of his files, of his notes, his emails. Yuuri scoured his text messages, then his call history, then his contacts, thinking maybe he’d somehow managed to get a hold of Victor’s phone number and drunk texted him something abhorrent, or maybe he had said something inflammatory to someone else and it had gotten back to him, or something but.

There was still nothing. Nothing. There was NOTHING.

Yuuri buried his hands into his hair, the panic making him shake, turn cold. He’d done something wrong, something horribly wrong, to VICTOR. To not just Victor, but to Victor Nikiforov at that. If this got out somehow, if the world knew just how badly Yuuri had offended him, it wasn’t just Yuuri’s dreams that would be over but his family’s too. Yuuri had seen first hand the wars Victor’s fandom had launched in defence of their sacred icon over any slight. These days it was common behaviour. The last restaurant to come under fire had closed within three months. The harassment campaigns had always made Yuuri sick to watch. Victor had never okayed them, never asked for them, had always tried to call them off whenever they happened, but the information still always somehow managed to get out, and left businesses and people to crumble under the weight of Victor’s empire.

‘I’ve brought us to ruin,’ Yuuri shook, doing his best not to hyperventilate as he clutched at his mouth. ‘Bad enough that I’ve squandered away all our money with my degree and shitty skating, but now this? I have to figure it out. I have to!’

If they lost Yu-topia, their family would have nothing left. They were just hanging on by a thread as it was, supported via the dregs of Yuuri’s waning sponsorships which after his performance at the GPF, he just knew would shortly be called off. He jumped to his feet and began to pace furiously, wracking his brain for anything, anything at all.

‘C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,’ Yuuri bit deep into his knuckle. ‘There has to be something. Think, Katsuki, you fucking idiot. THINK.’

Two pigs and a dancing man. It was something Yuuri should know and, more, it was something that was seemingly so painfully obvious that it was apparently laughable that he didn’t realize it. Something so big that even Victor’s patience snapped under the weight of it. Something he should know. What had he done? What had he done?

‘Two pigs and a dancing man.’ Victor had called him a pig several times since he’d been here. It had to be a clue. Chris had done what Yuuri had asked for and then cut him off. He would be getting no more assistance there, and Yuuri was too afraid of this getting out even faster to ask anyone else. He had a week. One week. Seven days. This must be what Sadako’s victims had felt like. ‘Two pigs and a dancing man. Two pigs and a dancing man.’

The dancing man had been yellow. Yuuri was Japane-He shook his head. Neither Chris nor Victor were racist, yellow was just the default skin tone for emojis, it wasn’t that. Two pigs and a dancing man. He tore apart the drawers of his memory, clawing through their innards. Two pigs and a dancing man. Two pigs and a dancing-

From the corner of his eye Yuuri caught sight of his reflection in the mirror next to his closet and stopped.

-man.

Wrapping his arms tightly around his middle, Yuuri approached the mirror, taking himself in from his harried expression and the way his hair relentlessly stuck up, to the fat leaking out of the waistband of his jeans.

Two pigs, Yuuri thought, recalling Victor’s comments the night before about his body, and a dancing man.

The most in his face obvious thing Yuuri could think of, if it wasn’t sleeping together in whatever way Victor had meant the words, the biggest thing that had happened recently was Yuuri’s viral interpretation of Victor’s Stammi Vicino.

‘Two pigs,’ Yuuri turned to study his body in the mirror from all angles, stepped into profile and lifted his shirt. When his palm touched the swell of his soft stomach, it was ice cold. ‘And a dancing man.’

He’d really thought to make an attempt at Victor’s incredible choreography… while looking like this?

Yuuri dropped his shirt, feeling like he’d just been gut-punched, and looked at his reflection in the mirror one more time. Then he reached forward and set his hands upon it, stood there, and gripped the sides to rotate it until it faced the wall instead of his horrible self.

Two pigs and a dancing man. That had to be it. Yuuri had his answer. He picked up his phone from the floor and navigated into Youtube, finding he was still trending with a grimace. He muted his phone and tapped into the video, sitting down on his bed, and watched it play. There, Yuuri scrutinized every contortion of his body, every roll, every lash of skin when his clothes could no longer contain his girth. It made him sick to his stomach. The shame was unreal.

Not only was he so hideous to look at that Minako had screamed at the sight of him, but Yuuri had made a mockery of that sweet and sensitive dance and then it’d gone up on the internet for everyone to see. Victor must have felt humiliated at seeing all the feelings he’d put into Stammi Vicino disgraced like that. Disgusted, Yuuri turned off the phone and set it down next to him, dropping to hang his head into his hands.

‘Victor said that I needed to get down to my weight at the GPF before he’d even consider teaching me,’ Yuuri recalled. ‘At a minimum. This…pig’s body meant lessons would be useless until I did. He’s not going to be my coach anymore, but losing this weight could go a long way to demonstrating how sorry I am and how seriously I take his opinions and feelings. That, and maybe promising to never skate his routines again…’

That just on its own was a painful thought for how much comfort Yuuri had found flowing through those impeccable and inspiring motions, but he swallowed it back. If it meant Victor was willing to let things lie, even if he couldn’t forgive him, Yuuri was willing to do it.

However.

Yuuri’s one and only special talent was dieting, but even with that being the case Yuuri didn’t know how he could drop this much weight in one week.

His eyes flashed up into the emptiness of his room. ‘I have to try.’

He snapped up his phone then grabbed his wallet, his mask, a couple of jackets and a toque that he could use to cover himself so the sight of him might at least not offend anyone else. There was only one thing for it in times like these, Yuuri thought with Minako’s lessons ringing loudly in his ears. Twenty five pounds in one week was going to be tough, probably downright impossible. Without the ability to ease into it, it wasn’t going to be super healthy, either, but fuck it, who cared. He was a disgraced athlete and set to retire before he made things even worse. He had no coach, he had no dog, he had no career, and with Victor’s antipathy on the table his entire family’s livelihood was at stake. Yuuri had to make this right, no matter the cost. He dropped down the stairs and called out that he was going out and borrowing the car. His dad laughed and asked him to get more eggs in that case.

Yuuri smiled at him and pulled up his mask. “Sure thing.”

He stepped into his shoes and walked out the door, keys painful in the clutch of his fist, his teeth ground down tight.

‘I’ll make this right,’ Yuuri unlocked the car and got in, jamming the keys into the ignition even as he shut the door behind him. ��Even if it kills me.’

Once he got home he carried each tray of eggs, thirty each, carefully into the kitchen, then he went back into the car and unloaded his own groceries. He paused by his dad at reception.

“Hey, uh,” Yuuri rubbed the back of his neck, glad for his mask because he couldn’t lie to save his life. “I know it’s bad timing but I think I’m coming down with something, I’m feeling pretty gross.”

His dad blinked and looked down into the bags Yuuri was carrying, no doubt taking in the mound of water and tea bottles.

“Ah,” Toshiya gave him a sympathetic smile. “That is too bad. But you go and get better.” He laughed, chuffed. “After all, you’ve got a handsome new coach to impress!”

Yuuri winced at that. Best to just get this out of the way before he got their hopes up even further. He backed away slowly. “Uhm. About that. He changed his mind. Victor isn’t going to be my coach. Uhm. I’m gonna. Go to my room. Remember I’m sick so don’t come in, okay? Bye!”

“Wh-Yuuri?!”

Clutching his groceries to his chest, Yuuri raced to his room and slammed the door shut, panting softly. He took off his mask and sniffled hard, wiping at his eyes beneath his frames and shifting to walk over to his bed. Several bottles of unsweetened tea, several bottles of water, and a bottle of electrolyte tablets were what he unloaded onto the floor. Tying up the plastic bags automatically, Yuuri eyed the assemblage of his fast, then nodded. That done, he looked around his room where he’d be spending most of his time for the upcoming week, not wanting to offend Victor with his presence even more than he already had. The blue eyes that he’d so admired seem to glare down at him from their posterly berths in accusation. Yuuri grimaced.

Victor Nikiforov. He was a beautiful man to look at, one who Yuuri was painfully attracted to in all honesty, and a goal to aspire towards. He was an inspiration and a wonder. He was a man. Yuuri had been long aware of how closely he’d skirted toward parasocialism when it came to him and he’d tried hard to avoid it the moment he’d learned the definition of that word. Victor was, before he was Yuuri’s idol, a person deserving of respect. He had his own thoughts and feelings just as Yuuri did, and though he’d often been concerned for what he thought he’d seen in those feelings, Yuuri’s obsession was not Victor’s responsibility.

The man disdained him, now that he knew who Yuuri was beyond a fan and an offer of a commemorative photo. It was quite obvious.

Yuuri got to his feet and began to remove the posters from his walls. They weren’t anything he deserved, and were no longer appropriate to have.

He couldn’t find it in himself to throw them away, though. Looking at the bundle in his hands, Yuuri flipped through them. He’d not framed them, wary of putting holes in the walls, but he had laminated them to protect their edges then hung them with small applications of adhesive putty. Those he did throw away, leaving him with just the sheets bearing Victor’s countenance.

Yuuri looked into those beautiful blue eyes, and bit his lip.

‘I know it’s selfish to hang onto these, but…’ Yuuri turned and put them away in his closet where they would remain, a shameful secret, until he could muster the courage to do anything else with them.

If anything, Yuuri thought as he traced his fingers down the smooth plastic then shifted the door shut, they would serve as a reminder to Yuuri of what happened when he reached beyond his ability.

‘I was foolish,’ Yuuri hiccupped and cupped his hands over his mouth to muffle his whines. Nobody needed to hear this. ‘I was such a fool.’

Last night he had been so happy. He should have known better than to think Victor would ever be truly interested in him of all people. Who was Yuuri Katsuki, after all, if not a fat and ugly failure. A dime-a-dozen dead last. He was a fuck up. Just a fuck up. Victor had said Yuuri wasn’t worth it, and he was right.

He bent over his knees, trying to ignore the gorging width of his thighs. He should have known better.

‘I’m sorry,’ Yuuri shuddered and shook his head, pressing it into his knees. ‘I’m so, so sorry.’

He cried for a while, then when he got tired of that he changed into some exercise clothes.

‘Mountain climbers to start,’ Yuuri thought with a grimace and dropped to the floor. He hated mountain climbers, but desperate times called for desperate action.

~~~

The food was delicious but Victor still felt, honestly, like a huge jerk. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said Yuuri was ruining his appetite. Victor didn’t know how one could avoid such a thing in the face of a begging man whose pleas seemed so earnest on the surface.

It was that which was fucking with him the most, Victor thought. Every sense Victor had told him that Yuuri’s responses were honest and, further, uncalculated. He’d even cried, he told Chris. Yuuri that is, not Victor. And he’d done it a lot too.

Yuuri had worn the face of a man whose world was ending, and it just wasn’t fair.

‘i threw him a bone for you, don’t you dare give in under those puppy dog eyes Victor Nikiforov,’ Chris said then shortly after sent a screenshot.

Victor had to admit, that little string of emojis should do the trick. It could only get more obvious if Chris had thrown a ghost in there, but just this should do.

‘he will hardly be the first or the last person to cry on command, you know this’

But with that being the case, why had Yuuri not yet skidded into his room to wail his defeat and apologize for ghosting him so boorishly after the banquet? If the timestamp was to be believed and the time conversion correct, the conversation they’d had over Victor’s lunch took place after this exchange, and Yuuri still claimed to have no idea. His confusion then defeat had been painful and irritating both to behold. Yuuri’s misery was palpable and made Victor feel like a monster when really it should be the other way around. Victor had hardly seduced Yuuri then left without a word! This whole situation was baffling.

Victor had asked the internet, through the guise of anonymity and typing a query into the search bar, if that was acceptable behaviour in Japan and Google said yes, ghosting actually was a common way to end relationships and mitigate conflict. Foreign responses seemed to be just as irritated as Victor was to this, at least. However, though that may be the case, Yuuri had been Stateside for years and ghosting, though Victor was sure it wasn’t uncommon there, wasn’t exactly seen as kind there either. He’d dealt with enough Americans to know this. Surely Yuuri would have picked up on that nuance? And either way Victor couched it, a refusal was still a refusal. No, it was only because Victor had changed his mind about being Yuuri’s coach that the man was reacting like this. Right?

Victor was useless at handling other people’s tears, he’d be the first to admit it. He wasn’t always the best at decoding other people’s emotions either - this had led to a lot of conflict in his past relationships. 

For all of that, though, Victor was fairly certain he could tell when he was being lied to, either by a body or with words, and he just didn’t get the sense that Yuuri was lying to him in any capacity here. If he was, Victor thought as he recalled the redness of the man’s ears, the hunch in his posture, the way he’d looked kneeling in that hallway, he was an exceptional actor and his next career should absolutely capitalize on that. It sang through in his skating, and that was still the case now. A man like that, he seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve. You’d expect therefore that he’d be a terrible liar. Victor supposed his expectations were wrong.

When Victor realized he was watching Yuuri skate Stammi Vicino yet again, he shook his head and stood. He had to get out of here, get some air, maybe make use of that rink and just get his mind off things.

He still found his way back into that screenshot, reading it yet again.

‘All the words seem correct,’ Victor thought. ‘He seems genuinely remorseful.’

He had in every interaction they’d had, but he certainly hadn’t been last night. No, Victor shook his head again and stood to find his skate bag. Yuuri Katsuki was just another athlete hungry for gold and went the route of mindgames to get there. Victor was no stranger to this. Hell, Victor had himself participated in such in his youth, when his reputation had yet to grow to the point his very existence played the game for him. That was just the world of professional figure skating. It was cut-throat, and it was messy, and it was oftentimes painful but it was also deeply rewarding.

Or it had been.

Such had not been the case more and more as of the past few years, leaving Victor feeling as though his well had run dry. Even thinking of choreography had grown substantially more difficult. His mind was quite nearly a placid lake, unstirred and unemotional. Void. He’d dragged the thoughts for last season’s choreography from the mire of past routines, by and large, and the depths of that lake, and it had of course won him gold but it had felt a rather hollow experience. It always did these days.

And then, of course, Yuuri happened. Who Victor was getting pretty sick of thinking of.

He’d expected some respite from that at the Ice Castle, as it seemed to be called. Victor didn’t know why that was, but he had, and he was proven shortly wrong.

There was a woman manning the front desk, pretty, busty, with brown hair tied up in a tail. She was pouting at her phone for some reason but when the bell rang to announce Victor’s presence, her head swung up with a cheerful smile.

Then she saw him and promptly screamed. This drew the sound of running footsteps and a bark of Japanese as a widthy man burst out of the back, who also looked at him, and said something that was probably a cuss word. Entertained at the show, Victor settled his hand on his hip as he watched the man tend to, if the rings were anything to go by, probably his wife who was presently suffering from a catastrophic nosebleed.

She looked at him again, screeched his name, and immediately passed out. 

These screams? Much, much better.

“Here,” Victor said and strode forward, settling his bag on the counter. He was hardly unfamiliar with this sort of fan response. “Let me help.”

“Hi,” The woman said in warbling, accented English when she’d woken up, mopping her face with a damp towel and still looking very star struck. “I’m Yuuko Nishigori, and this is my husband Takeshi. Minako told us you were here but we didn’t believe her!”

Minako… Ah, right, that was the name of Yuuri’s ballet instructor, the shrewdly smiling one who seemed to take Yuuri’s weight as a personal insult, if the way she’d dropped him in it with Victor and just watched him tear into Yuuri with a smile was any indication. Victor put on one of his prettiest smiles.

“She’s right, I am indeed here! Hallo. It’s very nice to meet you both.”

“I can’t believe Yuuri didn’t say anything,” Takeshi snorted. 

Victor felt his smile strain just a smidge.

Yuuko giggled. “Maybe he’s just overwhelmed. Anyways, I take it you’d like to skate? There’s nobody in there right now and we don’t have any bookings so please, feel free! But. Uhm.”

She poked her fingers together and gave him a hopeful look. “Would you mind if I watched?”

“Not at all!” Victor turned around and dug out his phone. “In fact, if you could help me out and film me so I can send it back to Yakov, I would be very grateful.”

The resulting squeal was rather ear splitting. Victor was always so glad to be able to please his fans.

“So are you staying at Yu-topia, then?” Yuuko asked a few minutes later as she watched Victor get into his skates.

Victor looked up with a smile. “Da. They’ve been very welcoming, and I’ve been enjoying the, ah, the onsens?” Yuuko nodded rapidly and Victor beamed, finding her enjoyable and sweet. “And the food very much.”

Yuuko’s smile gentled. “That’s wonderful, I’m so glad to hear it. I have no doubts they’ll take very good care of you while you’re here.”

She turned and looked around as Victor stood. “Will Yuuri be joining you?”

Victor had been at this game too long for his wince to come through thankfully. “No, I don’t expect so.”

Yuuko turned back with a sad little frown, looking down at Victor’s phone and swiping into his camera. “So even with you here, he’s still retiring, huh?”

This time Victor’s startle did make it through. “What?”

That had not been his impression.

Yuuko looked up with a nod. “He didn’t take his results at the GPF very well. Honestly, he’s too hard on himself.”

If Victor had skated that poorly, he’d be hard on himself too. He said as much, and was not expecting the way Yuuko instantly puffed up with righteous indignation.

“And how well do you think you would have done if you’d found out right before your SP that Makkachin got hit by a car and died?!”

“What?!” Victor couldn’t help his squeak. But wait, what did that have to do with anythi-

It clicked.

Oh. Yes, Victor thought back to the recordings he’d seen of those very dismal performances, rife with falls and a stiff demeanour that was entirely unlike Yuuri’s usual fluid musicality, insofar as Youtube had shown him since he’d never paid much attention prior. That would do it. He briefly licked his lips, very uncomfortable with this conversation now.

“I told them to wait to call him,” Yuuko sighed. “But they all loved Vicchan so much and. …Yeah. I’m sorry for snapping at you like that. It’s just that Yuuri’s like a little brother to me.”

Victor rubbed his arm, casting his eyes to the side. “Uhm. It’s fine. Only. Why are you telling me this?”

That caught Yuuko’s attention, making her glance up then take him in with widening eyes.

“I just-” Yuuko started, stopped, her brows drawing inwards with confusion. “Are you… not here to see Yuuri, then?”

Well. Yes. He was. Had been, rather. He wasn’t going to tell her that, though. Victor shook his head and mustered a weak smile.

“He told me about the family business at the banquet, yes, and I wanted to try it. I’ve never been to an onsen before! That is as far as that goes though.”

“Oh. Oh no,” Yuuko flushed deeply. “I’m really sorry, I must have made this so awkward for you! I just thought that you might have come here after seeing his interpretation of Stammi Vicino. The-the timing and all…”

He had to give her that, the timing was certainly suspicious and difficult to wiggle out of.

“It did serve to remind me that Yu-topia existed,” Victor laughed. 

“So you saw it?” Yuuko’s eyes hesitantly lifted back up, a restrained sort of excitement leaking through there. She definitely had the ‘proud big sister who wants to brag about her brother’ look down pat. “It was just beautiful, wasn’t it? He performed it for me, you know. I was,” She turned and pointed. “Right there!”

Victor blinked.

“Oh, I see. He’s in love with you.”

The words were out of his mouth before he had the time to realize he’d even spoken, but it wasn’t untrue. That, he thought with a sinking feeling, did go very far in explaining the vivid warmth in Yuuri’s eyes, the-the everything, really. Yuuri had been skating his love just as Victor thought he’d been. It was simply that Yuuri’s love wasn’t for him, but for the beautiful and married woman beside him.

Chris was right. The entire time he’d been looking for signs that, simply put, just didn’t exist.

Yuuko raised an eyebrow at him. Squinted. “He was. I’m pretty sure his heart has belonged to someone else for a while now, though, even if he doesn’t really know him very well.”

The way Yuuri had skated the routine really said otherwise, but who was Victor to point out a stranger’s naivety? The massive hint toward bisexuality was at least a little comforting, he probably hadn’t been imagining the chemistry between them then that he’d feared. Victor had yet to misinterpret a straight man as interested in him, that was not a humiliation he ever, EVER wanted to endure.

“That must have been awkward,” Victor said with another smile. “With you being in a relationship and all.”

He was frankly surprised the man was even allowed to practice here, that being the case, with the way Yuuri seemingly strummed hearts as though they were strings to be played. If he was Takeshi, Victor would be feeling very insecure right now.

Yuuko narrowed her eyes. “Why would it be? Yuuri may have had romantic feelings for me in the past, but he’s always known I’ve never felt that way for him without my even saying so. We’re family to each other and he’s never pushed his feelings on me! He’s a good guy!”

Tilting his head, Victor asked, “He is?”

Yuuko huffed, her cheeks inflating with ire. Haha, whoopsies. “YES.”

“Hm,” Victor said and unzipped his jacket, leaving it on the bench and making his way to the entrance of the rink. “I guess a lot can change in four years. Sorry, we’ve gotten rather off track.”

He turned around and blew her a winning smile and a wink. “You still don’t mind filming me, do you?”

Yuuko seemed to grind her teeth for a moment, then she huffed again and lifted the phone. “No. But only because Yuuri would kill me for refusing, though.”

Victor shrugged and took off his guards. Whatever worked, he supposed. “Spasibo! I appreciate it very much, Yuuko.”

“Please,” Yuuko said with burning eyes. “Just Nishigori is fine, Mr. Nikiforov.”

And thanks to Yuuri Katsuki, it seemed as though Victor had lost a beloved fan. Oh well. You win some you lose some, Victor tried to reassure himself through the irritation he wouldn’t let show.

“Would you mind playing the second song in the 2016 playlist? The one called ‘eros’,” Victor called back with a wave of his hand.

Yuuri, that goddamned Yuuri, had inspired a lot of feelings within him after that banquet, rejuvenating him and making the ideas burst forth into colourful, vivid paintings of watercolour. Eros was just one of the routines Victor had created as a result, albeit this one came largely from a place of spite, and disappointment, and yes, more yearning. He hadn’t managed to escape Yuuri by coming here after all, Victor thought as the opening guitar chords played and he flowed through the movements on center ice. But he could at least use the fuel of his irritation to smooth out the problem areas in the choreography.

Something about it just never felt right. 

Victor was gratified, at least, that upon coming out of the routine, Yuuko’s eyes had regained a hint of that sparkling shine she’d had the moment she registered him walking in.

When she looked up from the screen at him, though, Victor felt with a jolt that she was looking right through him and wasn’t buying what she was seeing.

‘She knows,’ Came the immediate paranoid thought, but Victor knew it to be the truth. ‘Somehow, she knows exactly why I’m here.’

“It’s beautiful, Mr. Nikiforov.” Her smile grew teeth. “Not to worry. Yuuri will definitely do your hard work justice.”

Victor managed to swallow and smiled widely himself as he skated over to the wall. 

“I really don’t know what you mean,” He said even though he knew her meaning exactly.

That couldn’t be true though, right? Victor took the water bottle as Yuuko passed it to him, paying a somewhat disturbed glance at the ice behind him as he wondered. These were routines he’d created with the full intention of skating them himself come Worlds, he hadn’t made them for anyone else.

Eros had not been created for Yuuri Katsuki.

‘And yet I can’t deny,’ He lifted the nozzle to his lips, shaken and cooled right down to his core. ‘How well it fits.’

It had been a flamenco, hadn’t it, that Yuuri had used to draw Victor in and invite him to dance? Improper as the footwear might have been, the man’s shifting hips, whirlwind feet, and the flirt of his snapping fingers as his arms led the eye up and down the showcase of his splendid form had pulled Victor in as surely as gravity.

God. All he’d done for the last few months had been obsess over that damned man and it seemed as though his brain, mighty coward and rebel that it was, had no intentions of doing anything else, even through the avenues Victor hadn’t foreseen. Maybe he should cancel those tickets and head to Geneva even sooner than he and Chris had planned.

He turned back to the wall and set down the bottle, combing his hair out of his eyes and giving Yuuko a sparkling smile. “May I see?”

“Of course, it’s your phone,” Yuuko said and handed it over, but then leaned in to watch as Viktor played the video.

His instincts continued to itch that this was a dance suited for somebody else, injected with his feelings and his angst though it might be, and Victor wondered if the woman next to him might actually be right. He pushed it away and brought forth the mind to critique instead, noting where he was less than perfect, where a transition could be smoothed over even further, or where a different step might suit a space in the step sequence better. It was riveting, visceral, sexy, and powerful. These were things that suited Victor very well. So why, Victor thought with frustration, did it look like a poorly fitted coat on him?

“You know,” Yuuko said about three quarters through, her eyes lidded, no doubt doing the same thing he was even though he’d never seen her on the circuit. “Whatever it is that’s going on between you and Yuuri, if you just talk about it with him, I’m sure he’ll listen. He is sometimes self-centered. He doesn’t understand the effect he has on people, and that can lead to him being accidentally hurtful.”

Victor found himself meeting her eyes despite himself.

“But it is accidental, Mr. Nikiforov. Yuuri cares. In fact sometimes I think he cares too much.”

Victor smiled. “I really don’t think this is an appropriate conversation, Mrs. Nishigori.”

To his horror he found frustrated tears shortly blooming on the woman’s lashline. 

“For all that we looked up to you-” Yuuko shook her head and slapped the phone down on the wall, turning to stalk away. “Please forgive me, Mr. Nikiforov, I thought I was talking to a person. I’ll send Takeshi to film you, don’t hesitate to continue using the rink as much as you like.”

Victor watched as she left, finding himself of the opinion that, perhaps, Hasetsu just wasn’t for him.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever made people cry out of misery,’ Victor thought, turning to take up his phone again and finding with relief that it was intact. ‘As much as I have today.’

It was not a good feeling. Victor refused to feel guilty for having boundaries, though, and continued to watch himself on the little screen. It was a few minutes later when Mr. Nishigori swept in through the doors with a cheerful looking smile. He also looked a little relieved to see Victor still there.

“Ah, sorry about that! Yuuko might not look it, but she can be feisty when she wants to be.”

Victor made himself laugh and it came as easily as breathing. “It’s not a worry at all, Mr. Nishigori! I’m sorry that I seemed to have upset her. A little firecracker, is she?”

Mr. Nishigori, too, laughed, and it seemed genuine. “It’s a big reason why I fell for her, yes. Loyal, beautiful, passionate, what’s not to love? Now, would you still like someone to film for you, Mr. Nikiforov?”

“Da, I would, if I’m not taking you away from your work?”

“Nothing that can’t wait.” Mr. Nishigori’s smile fell a bit. “We’re hardly busy, after all. Alright. Anything special I need to know about this phone?”

[ineffablefool]

Anyone out there have their own website and want to rec their host?

I'm looking for domain registration and managed hosting for a domain or three, good connection speed and bandwidth caps and such but no need for the leading edge. Preferably includes managed SSL (might as well join the 2020s I guess), database services (relational preferred but not required), and some kind of control panel interface (please don't make me relearn the command line), all preferably in the same package. Honestly everything should ideally be managed/hidden behind slick interfaces, so I can just click some buttons to upload my own content and then let everything else be taken care of by the professionals.

Don't care if it's Linux or Windows but it 100% must allow server-side scripting so I can toss up like a springboot site or something. (Nothing WordPress-only; I do not currently feel like learning that ecosystem.)

Very important that the domain registration piece be through a company where you can actually get your domain back from them relatively easily if you decide to move to somewhere else. I've heard horror stories.

Does not need to be free -- I actually specifically would like to pay professionals to do all the boring stuff for me -- but I'm hoping to stay under a couple hundred USD per year.

I am aware that GoDaddy exists, is very common, and will do the whole shebang, but I don't know if it's actually a good experience for a fairly technical but very lazy person. And I mean, I could google to see what else is out there these days, but [points at last three words of previous sentence], so! A post hurled into the Tumblr void it is. Hopefully it will not immediately land in one of the many dumpster infernos.

If you read any part of this post (even just this one sentence) then I hope your tomorrow will be unexpectedly wonderful.

[rainbowsky]

Hi. I'm your new follower & new 🐢 . I want to say thank you for all your hardwork & comforting yet realistic words (which I really enjoy reading). You didn't sugarcoat your words & help me to see things from new perspective. I just want to ask about this photo- xiao zhan in water. Is this the official photo uploaded by zhan ge?

I read somewhere that there is a hidden photo of xz & wyb from ddu days in the photo. I just noticed that. I'm not sure if the hidden photo is matching or not but one thing- no matter how many times I look at this photo, I'll notice right away the circle part. Suddenly this part becomes so obvious to me that I can no longer ignore it. Am I only seeing things? Am I overthinking?

What do you think?

Thanks for reading this.

The suspected hidden photo from ddu:

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛

Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

I do not tend to go in for this type of candy. It's a bit galaxy 🤡 brain for me. But let's take a look.

Yes, this is a real photo uploaded to the Xiao Zhan Studio account on 3 July.

The relevant section of the image, taken straight from the XZ Studio post and enlarged to 300%, no other alterations made.

Arguments in favor of this being real and intentional:

I do believe that GG hides things sometimes in his art and images. He's sneaky and seems to enjoy messing with people and giving them something to ponder (possibly including DD, who is likely the real target for most of this stuff). A good example of this is his ideal life painting, which most turtles know and love.

GG used to work professionally as a graphic designer. He's highly skilled in Photoshop and perfectly capable of creating something that leaves the right degree of doubt/plausible deniability.

Given the current climate it is harder to get away with dropping candies. This is the sort of thing that's pretty safe to do. It's totally harmless and not something that will go on hot search or be noticed by passersby, and those who believe in it will be dismissed as crazy even by some other turtles, let alone passersby.

Those ripples look 'wrong'. Regardless of whether it's the result of an optical illusion or intentional manipulation, there is something unnatural about the appearance of the ripples/reflections/shadows in that area.

Arguments in favor of this being imagined:

The image definitely doesn't match the DDU one turtles are claiming was used. Assuming this is two people talking, the heads are positioned entirely differently, and the clothing isn't the same. (That doesn't mean it can't be some other image, but using an image that doesn't match definitely weakens the credibility of this).

There's not really much point in doing this. It doesn't serve much of a purpose beyond entertaining the few turtles who buy it.

Humans are somewhat hardwired to see patterns in things that are otherwise neutral or meaningless. The phenomenon is called pareidolia. I would imagine it's even more likely to happen in situations where people are actively looking for patterns, as many turtles do whenever something new is posted.

Pareidolia in Iceland: elephant rock.

This isn't the first time turtles have seen 'hidden photos' in posts from GG.

Last year turtles claimed to see a photo of DD as LWJ in the ripples of a photo of him in a swimming pool. I was too busy looking at his leg hair legs to notice.

The relevant section of the image, taken straight from the XZ Studio post and enlarged to 300%, no other alterations made.

The shape some turtles believe is hidden in the image.

There is another ancient CPN about a photo supposedly hidden in one of GG's art posts.

(Sorry, I can't find the actual photo that people think he used, but it's the rear view of the one inset above. If anyone has the right photo please send it my way and I'll update the post. Thanks.)

EDIT: Here's the image showing the connection fans see. There's a detailed breakdown of some other hidden elements in this post.

Like I said, I'm not totally sold on this CPN. I go back and forth on it all the time. Sometimes they seem totally credible to me and other times I think they're an optical illusion. If I had to give it a percentage, I'd say I'm 60% in the 'these types of hidden photo candies are real' camp, and 40% 'they're not real'.

Everyone should just form their own opinions based on their own perceptions. CPN like this can't be proved, but it's also difficult to wash, so everyone is free to make up their own mind.

This CPN is pretty harmless, and (if real) I think that's kind of the point, right? Giving us something that is easily denied/dismissed.

As a new turtle you might also find my masterlist post helpful.

[emma-altium7]

Sorry to bother you😭 but I was just wondering what you wanted for the ff. Are you like depicting him in the mansion? Or somewhere else. And then for the no OC or reader, are you just asking for his perspective?

sorry for all the questions! Have a good day!

I'm not sure what the plot for the fanfiction would be, I guess it'd be like his/their/her/its (I headcanon him not having a gender(doesn't know what gender is or means) interactions with other ppl in the mansion.

For the oc/reader part, I, personally, don't like reader stories or a story with an OC as the main character but if you have a good idea than you can.

The perspective is your choice, again, I'm just looking for stories that might have to do with Dink's (Dark Link) introduction to the creepypasta and his interactions with them. It could obviously be something else like new creepypasta joining and stuff. I guess what I'm looking for is how ppl react to Dink.

Also, some personal headcanons, you have no obligation to use them if you prefer something else or are in disagreement with my own, of course.

Dink isn't a super techy guy, sure he came from a video game but that doesn't really mean anything to him.

Dink is both dramatic and serious, he has the physical age of a teen, the mental age of a 10000+ year person and the chronological age of a 5 minute old babe.

His blood is black

His eyes glow in the dark (not really a headcanon)

When he teleports he leaves this sort of toxic waste (like malice (loz/Botw) or gloom (totk)) it disappears after a few seconds.

Dink is a good sword fighter, try to teach him anything else and he'll fail miserably (except maybe a bow) 🏹

Dink can suck out the light out of anything and anyone, instead of mirroring someone, he consumes someone. Because of shadows = a mirror of someone/something, but darkness = consumer of all light. There cannot be shadow without light, the darkness thrives without light.

Other things of note:

Take your absolute time with the ff, I won't pressure you into uploading the ff

Please tell me where you'll be uploading said ff 👍

[echos-girlfriend]

Hello! For the 100 celebration, could I please request prompt 10 (I trust you) with Echo :) maybe echo x separatist or echo x jedi? Thank you! (I love how organised your blog and lists are btw, so easy to navigate)

Howdy!!

I can definitely do that for you lovely! And I’m glad it’s easy to navigate ☺️ I want people to make sure they find what they’re looking for

Echo

10 - “I trust you”

Clone x Jedi

Master list

~_~_~_~

Kaller had become a massacre.. master Billaba had been killed. And the clones were searching for you.

You were the general of the bad batch and you had a bad feeling about joining master Billaba on Kaller..

“General!”

You heard Hunter’s voice.. although they hadn’t shown any signs of attacking you yet.. you were definitely not going to find out.

Not matter how cold it was you were going to wait in this forest..

~_~_~_~

“General! Are you out here”

Echo. Oh your sweet echo couldn’t have turned like them?

“Is that you echo?”

“Yes.”

He looked around for anyone..

“Yes Mesh’la it’s me.. where are you”

“Are you going to shoot me?”

Your voice was shaky and quiet

“No.. of course not cyare.. we don’t know why the clones turned on general Billaba and her Padawan.. please come with us. We will take you somewhere safe before we go back to Kamino.”

“Alright.. I trust you..”

You came out if your hiding place and echo ran to you, wrapping his arms around you.

You did the same and hugged him tight.

“Mesh’la i thought they killed you.. but you’re safe. We will make sure the other clones don’t see you. Hunter I found the general bring the ship to my position.”

‘We’re on our way echo’

“We need to figure out why the clones did this echo.. and what if they did it to all the other jedi?!”

“Shh shh.. it’s alright cyare.. calm down. We will figure it out.. but you need to get somewhere safe first.”

You Took a deep breath. The shot came into view and echo led you on board. You were immediately met with crosshair’s eyes looking straight into your soul.

You gulped but echo pulled you past him to the bunks. He told you to sit down before he went back to the cockpit.

“Hunter we need to go get her to her home planet.. I think she will be safer there”

“I agree.. wait did you leave her with Crosshair?”

“Why?”

Hunter pushed past him into the main hull only to see Crosshair staring at you.. like he was contemplating on a life changing decision.

“Crosshair. Don’t do what I think you’re going to do”

“What are you talking about hunter?”

You couldn’t help but stand up in concern. Was Crosshair like the other clones? Would he attack you..

“I’m not. I don’t think I can..”

Crosshair left to the gunners chair. Echo came into the hull.. the two of you sharing a look that said “I love you”

“We are approaching the planet shortly!”

“You hear tech general. You need to get ready”

Echo helped you gather your items.. things were definitely going to be different from now on.

~_~_~_~

I feel like if the bad batch had a Jedi general or under the command of a Jedi, Crosshair wouldn’t kill or would have a hard time killing them.. I feel like he would fight the shit out the chip. I don’t know,, but it’s personal HC of mine

Scheduled to post at 2:05 pm EST

(For reference so I know when things upload)

[jolalibrary]

hi jo! firstly, thank you for being such a positive kind influence in the community, you deserve all the love!

secondly, pls don’t feel pressured to answer if you wouldn’t like to, genuinely!

but i was wondering if you have any advice for writers on here that severely lack getting feedback from readers. i can’t help but feel extremely discouraged receiving virtually no comments (no matter how small) about my works when i post them. it’s a bit disheartening and it’s starting to affect my confidence in my writing, especially when numbers/notes don’t mean anything to me. i know that creativity and skill is not reflected by any parameters on social media whatsoever, but i just can’t help but self-doubt when i feel really proud about a work yet receive no feedback.

thank you for taking the time to read and i genuinely appreciate you < 3

hiii, that’s so sweet. I’m not sure what I’ve done, but I thoroughly appreciate it! thank you so much! 🩷

I shall be completely honest, I am not entirely sure how to answer or what answer I can provide. but as always, I shall give it my best go:

getting people to engage is a tricky thing, and something unfortunately you can’t make happen. on some occasions, it’s instant and with others it takes time. I know stories that have had so much interaction in the comments but then on others there’s been none—and they’re written by the same person. equally, even some of my pieces get very few comments and then others get a lot. so it’s difficult.

my first advice on what you can do to help is consider making sure your piece indicates what you’d like someone to do. sometimes people are scared/nervous, because they don’t want to do it wrong. so if you haven’t, adding a simple “If you can let me know your thoughts in the comments, be much appreciated” shows an indication that you warrant that kind of feedback.

if you’re already doing that and still struggling, I recommend seeing if you can reach out to some friends or writers you admire and create a ‘buddy’ group. this way you can share amongst one another your works, give each other feedback (and also then scream at one another about plots and characters). by creating a circle for yourself, it can make it feel less like you’re shouting into a void, and at least then if interaction is slow, you know there’s someone more than you who is invested in your story. if that’s something you feel would benefit you.

I had a group like this for a different thing and it was ahhhmazing. we bounced off one another, but we were also one another’s cheerleaders (and that’s such a nice feeling).

lastly, you love your story, right? remind yourself of that. something I’ve told a friend to do is before they upload and share it, copy and paste quotes or passages that they love from their work. put it in a fresh document somewhere just for you. and, when you begin to feel disheartened, remember the beauty in which you created. put it in a cool font, add it into a graphic (if you make them) or just have it in a format that tells your brain it isn’t on tumblr or where else you post.

I know it’s cliche, but the person who has to love your work first, is you. and while I know it’s disheartening (like honestly, you’re not alone in it), and unfortunately there isn’t a spell I can cast or a bit of helpful advice that I can offer to let you know what makes people interact.

and while I know I said this on the “be kind” post, but I like the phrasing. you just haven’t found your people, and that takes time. and by that I mean, the people who love your work, the words, the places, the descriptions you create—not just the character or fandom.

again, I am not entirely sure if this has been helpful. I feel i give such poopy advice and I’m so sorry if it is. but just know it’s okay to feel whatever you feel, just don’t let it smush out your flame (if you can help it) 🩷✨

equally, if anyone has any advice, please drop it below. I am very aware I am not that good at the advice hahaha!

[fizzyxcustard]

Wrong Place Wrong Time - Part 2 - Chapter 3

The masterlist to the first part can be found here

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Summary: You find yourself in 1209AD after a science experiment has gone wrong, and you are now making a new life in a small village in France. However, Sir Raymond de Merville has his eye on you and will not take no for an answer. You both embark on a passionate love affair which leads to Raymond’s downfall.

With Raymond dead, you find your way back to 2017. Now heavily pregnant with Raymond’s child, things take a strange turn and you find out that Raymond’s promise to come back to you as crossed many centuries. 

Fandom: Pilgrimage (2017)

Pairings: Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Sexual references, violence, bad language, sexual language. 

Comments/Notes: This fic is being re-uploaded. It was originally written on Tumblr for my old blog and then put on to AO3, so I’m now trying to put all outstanding fics from AO3 on to here. 

As always, if you like the story, please consider a reblog. My tag list is always open to people who wish to be added. Send me a message and let me know. :)

Just to note, this fic is quite an old one now and for anyone who new to my tag list and doesn't know what's going on, part 1 is linked above. Please read that first and just reading this on its own will not make sense.

England, 2017

That night and you slept soundly next to Raymond, never waking and the nightmares not visiting you. It was Raymond’s presence back in your life that forced all the bad things away, and brought back that light which had been missing the last five months you had been without him. 

The next morning and you woke to feel Raymond’s hand brushing down your cheek. He was looking down on you as you woke from your dream; in your dream and you were flying, watching a flock of birds drift through the air in silence beside you. You smiled at your husband and he leaned down, kissing you gently, whilst rubbing your stomach, needing contact with both you and his daughter. 

“They’ve been asking about her at the lab where I work,” you told Raymond. He shifted back, sitting up. His eyes narrowed at the very thought of anyone questioning you in such a manner. 

“What did they say?” he asked. 

You sat up from your lying position, propped up against your pillows, and brushed a hand through your hair. “They wanted to know how and when I got pregnant…and by who,” you replied. “I just told them I was already pregnant when I originally went to your time. But they seemed to know I was lying.” 

“What does this mean for her?” Raymond asked. “I will not have them touch her, or you.” 

Tears began to fall down your cheeks as you pondered such a question. “I…don’t know,” you told Raymond. “There were talks of taking her when she’s born to do tests because of the effects the machine had on my body and on her. I was pregnant when I came back through so they think the machine could have affected her as well as me. They’re bribing me with money to not speak a word but go in for testing. They’re offering me two million.” 

That fierce fire was burning in Raymond’s eyes. You had missed that fire within him so much. “Do not accept such a bribe. If they had their way then they would take her away from us.” 

“This was why I was thinking of adoption. I wanted to try and run away somewhere, have her, and put her up for adoption, so they can’t track us. But I can’t. I’m her mother and should fight for her every step. She belongs with us.” You could feel her moving inside you as if responding to your words, thanking you for your resolution to keep her. “But while we’re here they won’t stop hounding me. They threatened me that if I don’t keep up with the meetings then they’ll find me and make sure I do what they say.” 

Raymond shifted forwards towards you. “We’ll find a way back to where we belong. I’ll make sure you both get back.” 

As he said those words you kissed him and pressed your forehead to his; you knew what he meant by saying ‘both of you’. He was prepared to sacrifice himself again. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. This time I fight to honour you. We all go back together or not at all. I needyou, Raymond, so much more than you realise.” 

You could see tears swimming in his eyes as you told him you needed him. Those words were so poignant for him to be told. Just to be told that he was needed kept him alive, and kept him fighting. 

In bed that morning you both began planning your return to France in the year 1209AD, where you wished to live in peace and raise your baby daughter. 

“I have another meeting tomorrow morning regarding what happens when she’s born. They think that the changing of timelines may have affected the present and need to check our radiation levels,” you told Raymond. 

“I will be beside you,” he insisted. “If I have to force my way into that building, kill every person inside just to get you through and back to France, then I will do it.” 

***

You and Raymond walked hand in hand down the busy street towards the high rise building where you had worked for nearly three years as an assistant technician. Things went on inside that building of which you had been sworn to secrecy, including the very experiment which had sent you through time to France, 1209 AD. You knew that escaping the clutches of this company now that you were back in your present time and pregnant with a man’s child who had died in 1209, was going to be impossible. They wanted to experiment on you and the baby. Bribery may have been their way of sweetening you to comply, but you knew that the money would never get to you and you would become a lab rat for the rest of your life. The company were just waiting for your daughter to be born. 

Raymond fingered the kitchen knife in his pocket, prepared to take down whoever got in his path to see you and your baby safe in 1209. 

You had yet another meeting with senior bosses to talk about your pay out, which you ultimately knew you would never get. They would resort to kidnapping you if necessary to run their tests. 

You made your presence known in the reception area downstairs which was brightly lit and had a young, dark haired woman, with plenty of cleavage on show sitting behind the desk. “Can I help you?” she asked, looking you up and down, mentally judging you. You had always hated this woman; sometimes you would see her in the staff canteen upstairs and she would roll her eyes if you tried to be polite. 

Using his stealth, Raymond rushed behind the desk, grabbing the woman around the mouth, and dragged her into a small stockroom which was just behind the desk. The woman hadn’t seemed to have noticed the unauthorised entry of the mysterious man who had accompanied you. 

Raymond tied the woman up using her tights, gritting his teeth in anger as she tried to resist. You darted into the room to help Raymond, holding your hand to her mouth so he could finish the job and make sure she was restrained. 

Next step would be security, having to get through an airport style operation that you had been required to be subject to whenever you entered the building. Usually there were only ever two men at a time at the main checking room, one of them scanning bags and clothing and the other completing body searches. Sometimes there was an armed guard just behind the door, and today was lucky for you. As you made your way into the large room, using the stolen ID pass from the receptionist, where all the scanners and equipment were for detecting weapons or explosives, there was an armed guard sat down reading a magazine, not taking much notice to who was passing by. 

You walked in, faking a smile and nodding your head politely. Obviously you and Raymond had not, as of yet, been detected in the building. 

Raymond moved from behind you, punching the security officer square in the jaw and then nose, knocking him to the ground in a pool of blood from a broken nose. He pulled the gun from the guard’s utility belt and aimed it at the other two men who were standing by the scanning machines. 

You knew that there was a room just to the right of the main security hall and inside it held replacement equipment, and required a pass to get in and out. “Give me your passes!” you ordered, stepping up to the men and reaching out across the belt where the trays moved. “Give me your passes and get in that room.” Raymond kept the gun aimed at the two men, one being a young, fresh faced man, reminding you of Henri, and the other looked around Raymond’s age with shoulder length, shaggy hair. 

Once the two men had complied with your orders, you raced through the winding hallways with Raymond towards the CCTV room. Surely someone would have noticed you by now and raised the alarm. But luck seemed to be on your side so far. When inside the small room which was filled from floor to ceiling with screens, you found the guard asleep who should have been conducting his duties. The man, who was surely near pension age, was snoring away, a cup of cold coffee next to his arm on the desk. 

Raymond dragged him off the chair, watching as he opened his eyes, terrified and confused. You pulled a piece of cord out of your pocket and began tying the man’s hands behind his back whilst Raymond attempted to quieten his protests. 

By the time you had both made it down towards the main, central hub where the machine was held, all the people you had come into contact with had been restrained or locked into rooms of which they had no way out. Surely, however, there was back up and you would both be noticed, acquired and reprimanded. 

As you were about to let yourself and Raymond into the huge lab area, where a few people in white coats were dashing back and forth, you felt him tighten his grip in your hand. He looked at you, smiling weakly and placed a gentle kiss against your lips. “Whatever happens from here, know that I love both you and our daughter,” he said, choking back tears. 

You knew that he truly believed he would not go through with you. In his eyes was the sad truth that his duty was to protect you and your unborn daughter, and if it meant him sacrificing his life and onward years with you, then he would do it to keep you both safe. 

“I’m not going through without you,” you told him. “If it means I have to stay here because this all fails, or I die trying to get through, then so be it. I’m not being parted from you again.” 

***

Follow Forever tag list: @lathalea @middleearthpixie @xxbyimm @linasofia @knittastically @luna-xial @meganlpie @quiall321 @asgardianhobbit98 @eunoiaastralwings @msjava1972 @rachel1959 @guardianofrivendell @evenstaredits @catthefearless @lemond57 @missihart23 @mrsdurin @solairewisteria @aliasauthor @the-fragile-heart-of-a-lady @sazzlep @glassgulls @littlebird-99 @court-jobi @heilith @way-too-addicted-to-fandoms @albionscastle @absentmindeduniverse

[beautifulhigh]

Okay, in re asking about yourself, headcanon thingy: I enjoy the heck out of your FirstPrince meta posts, so in that vein... Can you share any headcanon about FirstPrince, please?

Also, random question, how would you describe your favourite colour to a blind person or a colour blind person?

Much love!

Thank you! I hope to get the next one up some point this week, and I'm still on the hunt for any gifs of the New Year's party (or anyone who has time/capacity to make me some bespoke ones). So hmu with links or offers.

One headcanon I've got, which is actually going to make its way (in part) into the Top Secret Experimental Fic I'm playing about with writing at the moment, is that they are fiercely protective of their private lives when they move to Texas. Like, anyone who even steps onto their property has to sign the most ironclad NDA which means they cannot post any pictures of the property, they cannot describe anything about the property, some of them aren't even allowed to say they've been to the property. That is their home, their space, and they are fully in control of what is released about it.

Everyone gets it - they have lost enough of their lives, their privacy, their intimate spaces. So their Texan home becomes their sanctuary and word gets out that this is how they are living their lives: private figures at home, public figures outside of that property boundary. Rule One: nothing is posted without clear and express permission from BOTH of them and it will be marked as such on the post. And that permission is so rarely given they just don't ask now. Any photos taken at events, gatherings, birthdays, holidays? They know that they're always going to be private.

Everyone thinks that June is the one to be afraid of if you break that one rule. When Pez uploads a picture of his OOTD hanging on the back of a door, someone thinks he's staying at the farmhouse and he's breaking Rule One because there's no tag and he has to quickly start a livestream where he can show people that he's not at the house, he's actually somewhere else entirely.

What he doesn't tell people is that he did that in a panic because Catherine called him and threatened to have him locked in the Tower for the rest of his natural life.

So yeah. My headcanon is that the boys, and their families, become ultra protective of their privacy.

As for the second question, this made me think about if I have a favourite colour! I tend to favour blues so I guess I would describe them looking as the sun feels on an autumn day: the warmth being tempered with cooler air and winds. It's not intense, it's not overpowering. The blues I favour are the kinds that are the in-between. Cosy like the drawing in of the nights and the fireplaces. Comforting like the warm mugs in hands. The range from the warmer days when autumn is still bright and clinging to summer, through to the moments it is slipping into winter.

So yeah. I'd describe blue as autumn sun, and the range as the season itself.

Come ask me anything: headcanons, random stuff, whatever you want to know

[ruii-cha]

hikaru nara; if it shines

in which the project sekai stars are beginning to make waves- and their fans are letting them know. (VBS and nightcord edition)

alternatively, the fic where i sit VBS and nightcord down and make them look at nice comments about their work.

Vivid BAD SQUAD - ready steady

It starts when Akito gets home from a show. It’s not much, a normal show, but he gets home a little later than usual and catches Ena closing the fridge door.

That is where it starts- Ena looks him up and down, and says, “You did another show, didn’t you? Honestly, you should stream them online or something. Once the show finishes, it’s gone forever.”

She closes the fridge and heads back to her room. Akito considers her suggestion.

Days later, new accounts are created for the band- one on a video platform, and one on a social media site, just for kicks. An and Kohane both on-board with the idea, and Toya going along with it; Kohane smiles and says that she can finally show her parents and her friends their shows, while An grins and cheers about how this will document their rise to stardom. Toya smiles a little, and tells Akito that he thinks it’s a good idea.

Months later, the group of four is gathered in their Sekai, a common occurence. Meiko is brewing coffee and making drinks, Kaito and Luka off somewhere, and Rin, Len and Miku crowding around, listening to them talk about their experiences.

When Kohane mentions that they’ve started uploading their shows, the Virtual Singers gasp, and the Kagamines begin demanding to see them. Toya taps at his phone and relinquishes it to Len, with Rin and Miku pressing in to watch the screen.

“You have a lot of comments,” Miku says, after the video finishes. An blinks at her, tilting her head, “You focus on that?”

“There’s a lot, though!” Rin defends, Len joining in, “Yeah! Have you ever read them?”

“Not really,” Akito says, “We usually just log in, upload, and log out.”

“Read them, then!”

like to claim your 'i was here before VBS became superstars' badge

I've seen them at vivid street before!!! They're even cooler in person

These kids are going to go far.

An looks at Kohane. Akito looks at Toya. None of them are quite sure how to feel, how to react. Because, well… these are actual people, taking the time to leave their thoughts. It’s one thing to turn up at a show and see people grinning, excited, and it’s an entirely different thing to sit in a cafe and see the thoughts and the feelings of strangers who somehow, someway, stumbled upon their music.

To the group of students with a dream that used to feel larger than life, it feels strangely personal. The Virtual Singers have fallen quiet, too- Len squeezes himself in-between Akito and Toya to look back and forth between their phones, Rin ducks under the table and pops up beside Kohane, and Miku pushes her way into the booth next to An.

Anyone else notice how the singer with the twin-tails always does this tiny hop-jump before she leaves the stage?? I think it's precious, she must be protected

the girl with blue hair has such a powerful voice and presence, she brings so much ENERGY to the shows i love it

Can we talk about their style please idk who their stylist is but I would like them to know you're doing great

i could listen to the blue-haired boy's voice for 24 hours and not get bored it's so soothing?? and then you pair it with the other boy's voice and i could listen to them for forever they're so GOOD and it's such a perfect match

OK LIKE I KNOW THIS IS STREET PUNK BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW PRETTY AND MUSICAL IT IS???

how do they dance and sing like that,,,, i would die from exhaustion so quickly,,,,, i'm so impressed,,,

Kohane looks at the comments she sees- ones about how they love Kohane's singing, encourage her to keep going. How she works with An, when they sing together, manage the movement and the music and how every show seems to get even better.

An sees people who don't see her as idiotic, or just a girl chasing her dream. They chatter in excitement, talk about her energy, wonder just how far the band can go together. She sees them supporting her, the power she brings to the stage and to the band, how she and Kohane are perfectly in sync together.

Akito doesn't say anything as he scrolls through the comments and the thoughts, gazing at the people commenting. One or two of his acquaintances from the live house, cheering about how far he's managed to come since he was looking for a partner; complete strangers, who wish him all the best in going even further, compliment his style and his singing, the power and the emotion.

Toya, beside Akito, gazes quietly at what he sees- support, from people they don't know. Compliments about their voices, their teamwork, their energy. Some people he vaguely recognises the names of, from their shows as BAD DOGS and from before he met Akito, cheering them on and supporting them.

There's really not much to say. They all spend some time in silence looking at comments. Some of the more touching ones are screenshotted, saved away on phones; after awhile, the Virtual Singers pipe up- Rin and Len argue over which one of them should be allowed to DJ at the next show to make it even better, Miku and Meiko head back to make everyone drink refills, and Vivid BAD SQUAD exchanges small smiles.

It'll be a long road ahead, they all know it. But they'll be okay- they're not alone, not by a long shot.

Nightcord at 25:00 - composing the future

On some level, Mizuki knows that Nightcord at 25:00 posts their songs online, and obviously that means people will see the songs and react to them. On the other hand, it's not like any of them all care that much about the group's standing and performance, especially after everything with the Sekai, and Yuki, and Miku.

But when they're online early, and have nothing to do... well, what else are they supposed to do, huh? There's still about ten or so minutes until 1 am, and Mizuki has nothing to do (for once), so... they open up one of their videos, and begin scrolling.

Amia's style of editing is so cool... anyone know what program they use?

i love their music so much i hope nightcord knows that

I'm not sure if they'll see this, but if you do, I hope Enanan knows they're my biggest inspiration!

so anyway, in this essay i will explain why yuki is a lyrical genius and i hope they sleep well tonight-

K fanclub rise up where you at

"Oi, Amia, where are you? Even Yuki is here before you!"

Mizuki is dragged back into reality by Ena- and as they grin and tap their keyboard, they know what the day's session will consist of (or at the very least, what twenty or so minutes will).

"Missed me, Enanan?" Mizuki chirps, and they can practically see Ena roll her eyes as Mizuki keeps talking, launching right into it, "So you guys know how we post our videos online, which means people can see."

"Where is this going?" Kanade asks, confused, and Mizuki grins, "Oh, my dear sweet K. You didn't switch off the comments when you posted, so people have been leaving comments. Wanna see some?"

Mizuki's announcement is met with an eerie silence, before Mafuyu, of all people, breaks the quiet with a simple, "Show us."

There's no protest as Mizuki taps away, opening up a screen-share and heading up to the top of the page they were looking at, scrolling down slowly so they can see everything.

nightcord's songs always hit different, if you're seeing this nightcord i hope you know your music has helped me so much

Enanan is my favourite artist. They inspired me to start drawing, too!

i could listen to yuki's voice singing forever like the video if you agree

AMIA EDITING SUPREMACY

To be honest, Mizuki's never really clocked comments about them. They just brush it off and keep going, the things the people they walk past say. This, though, this is different- because these are people who don't know Akiyama Mizuki, they just know Amia. And they like it, the work Mizuki pours their effort into. It's nice to know that, they think. Amia and Mizuki have always been the same person, after all. It's nice to know that Mizuki can be seen.

Kanade has always focused on saving people, with her music. Her father's voice echoes in her head, and she's always worked non-stop on it- first just to save people, in general, and then to save Yuki. She's still working on it, but... maybe it's not hopeless. Not when strangers leave comments, thanking her for her songs and her music. Saying that she's helped them, in some small way. Maybe she will be able to save Yuki, save Mafuyu, after all.

Ena maybe, kind of, wanted to shoot down the idea of looking at the comments. But when Mafuyu, of all people, wanted to look at it... well, Ena would have been mean to shoot it down at that point. She didn't expect to see the support, the encouragement. The people who call her an artistic inspiration. Sometimes, Mizuki has good ideas. Ena can admit that much.

Mafuyu doesn't really know what to think. Why would she? But she doesn't hate this, looking through the comments with the rest of Nightcord- it's interesting to see how other people think. What other people think about the group, and the music, and the lyrics. She can classify this as an emotion, probably- maybe the rest of the group is right. She's not beyond saving, yet.

[pokeglitchden]

[VIDEO IS UPLOADED DATED 7/27/23 AT 12:00 AM

The video footage is from a handheld camera. Just like before, it is concealed- focused on nothing, tilted towards the ground- somewhere in Hoenn this time, in the dead of night.

There’s a solid thirty seconds where nothing happens, nothing but the ambience of the night and the sound of Simon’s breathing.

Finally- as if emerging from shadow- a figure walks towards Simon. It is hard to make out their figure at first, especially with the little light on the road, though- perhaps more interestingly- this person is clad in clothing clearly meant to secure identity. A hoodie pulled over their head, black converse, sunglasses- in the night, no less- a mask over their face, sweatpants- hell, even gloves- whoever this stranger was, they did not want anyone to know who they are.

“Simon, right?” A feminine voice says under the mask, slightly muffled by the cloth. They stop a short ways away from the camera, continuing on like they haven’t noticed the camera- and they likely haven’t. “Bella Chambers- I’m glad you got my email. Sorry for asking you to do this so late, I thought it would help with the whole… Enigma… situation.” They scratch the back of their head, almost sheepishly. “That’s why I’m dressed like this- sorry if I scared you or anything.”

“Not a problem,” he says, sticking out his left hand to shake- and Bella takes it graciously, a short yet polite greeting. “Actually, I… appreciate you reaching out a lot. We are… desperately in need of some aid, I think.”

There’s a heavy note on the word desperate.

“If you please,” Simon continues, “Just tell me what I need to do.”

“Not much at all, really- I compiled a few instructional videos for my paper, and I was hoping we could go back-and-forth about Glitch City and its native pokemon?” Out of her pocket, she pulled out a thumb drive, handing it to him after a moment. “And, uh- if that’s not enough, then I would be glad to visit Glitch City in person. You’ve got the key to it, right…? You said it was called the, uh… clip key?”

“That’s right,” Simon says, and by the small shake of the camera it seemed he nodded his head. “I have it with me, at the moment, but I can pass it off to you whenever you need. I’d be happy to meet here again to do that. Please let me know how else I can help.”

“Right now this is more than enough,” Bella says, sounding almost incredulous. She shoves her hands in her pockets. “Thanks for helping me out with this, I.. didn’t think being an intern would be so hard…” She sighed, posture deflating.

Simon chuckles a little bit. “Oh, don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it. Being an intern isn’t so bad. You’re free to visit any time you need a hand.”

“...Actually, one more thing- didn’t you say you were thinking of setting up a new lab somewhere? Where did you say it was, again? I’d like to visit sometime. After I finish my essay, of course.”

“Oh, right! It’s right off Route 119 now. We’re still rebuilding a little so it looks a little rough. Er… sorry about the appearance. But it’s all functional and that’s what counts right?”

“Right,” Bella says, sighing- fighting off a yawn. “Uh… thanks again for the help. I’ll be hearing from you…?” She gestures at the road behind her with a thumb, taking a step back to indicate the conversation is nearing its end.

“Sounds good. I’ll be in touch.” The camera turns around to face the other end of the road as both Simon and Bella walk away from the meeting spot, and- after a few seconds- the footage cuts off.]

[knight-battle-shield]

Gwen quickly tapped away on the keyboard of the computer. It hadn't been easy to get in this place, especially with the extra guards, but if she was right, the information they got from this place was gonna put a stop to a lot of bad people

"I'm in KARR. You ready for the upload?" She asked over the commlink, still keeping her voice low.

"I am. Send it quickly. I do not like how far away I am from the facility." He informed her

"I know, I don't like it either, but I'm working with the equipment they have they would pick up your scan... Oh God." She stopped mid explanation. "KARR, get out of here! It's a trap!"

"I am coming to get you!" KARR insisted starting his engine.

"KARR don't..." That was as far as she got before a loud crash and several gunshots accompanied by Gwen's cry of pain.

"Gwen!" He called over the com freezing.

"KARR... please." Gwen's whimpering voice came. She sounded terrified. "Listen to that self-preservation programming!"

"We all know he's not going to do that." A male voice that the AI did not recognize stated.

KARR could hear Gwen's panicked breathing, and he realized he couldn't tell if she was more terrified for herself or for him. None the less he was coming for her. His engine reveed as his tires kicked up gravel.

"KARR r....." That was all he heard before the line went dead.

He picked up the pace, fully intending to crash into the building to get her out when something struck him from the side, sending him rolling and making everything go dark.

KARR wasn't sure how much time had passed before his system rebooted, but when he came too, there were several foolish humans trying to not only restrain him but load him into a truck. He was having none of that. All at once, his form began to shift into his battle suit, eliciting several surprised screams from his would be captors. He took them out quickly and efficiently before rushing to the building where Gwen had been. He had been dangerously close to simply smashing through the building in its entity, but logic told him it was safer to do this differently. If Gwen was still here, he didn't want to risk hurting her more than she already was. Nanobots began gathering and clumping together to form what appeared to be a very large, very muscular human in the pilot seat. Once fully formed, he opened his amber eyes and stepped out of the vehicle. He quickly made his way to the last location he had on the commlink. KARR's eyes widened when he found it on the ground, broken by what appeared to be a gunshot. It was laying in a pool of blood. Analysis confirmed that it was Gwen's blood. While there was a lot of it, it alone wasn't enough to make him believe she had suffered a fatal wound. She was somewhere alive and hurt, and he needed to find her.

He picked up the broken commlink before he began hunting. Anyone he came across in the building, he demanded to know where they had taken her. When they did not give him an answer, he disposed of them violently. It was what they deserved, and their lives were meaningless to him. After going through everyone in the building, he finally returned to the vehicle. The broken comm was placed carefully in the glove compartment before the Nanobots dissipated back into the vehicle. KARR shift led gears and booked it out of that place. Aside from the little bit of information they had managed to steal, he had no real leads on where they might have taken his driver. It didn't matter. One way or another, he would find her.

[jeonghannie]

does anyone know where you can watch the livestream(?) that jeonghan and jun did the other day?

[kaitlynpcallmebeepme]

The Unexpected Hero

The Unexpected Hero

Evan Buckley x reader

Imagine: saving Buck (911) from and explosion and he's determined to find out who you are (from @procrastinatorimagines​).

Requested: Nope.  

Author’s Note:  I’ve been wanting to write this ever since I saw this prompt image.  Also (writing this on 7/12/22), My legs are dead after drumline camp, so I continued writing this on my night shift. Please give me feedback as this is my first time writing for 911.  Was considering asking someone if they want to proof read just to make sure the content is good. Message me if anyone want to.  I also reworked my masterlist so it’s not as crowded.  

Requests are still OPEN.  Feedback is always appreciated.  Also, tell me if you want to be part of a Tag List and I’ll tag you when I upload something new.  Also, I’m tagging @911readercollection​ here.

Warning: I’m not sure fire works how I exactly described it.  Arsonist, bomb exploder/explodes, chase scene, arrests, I very much thought of old action movies when writing this.  I didn’t proofread this.  Athena being a queen. 

Word Count: 1,854

It was another mind numbing day of staring at your computer as statistics went by so you could crunch the numbers for your penny pincher stick up his ass boss.  And just to describe how frugal he is, he chose the cheapest office for his workers while he never showed up himself.  Cheap in LA usually means poor quality, or not in a safe neighborhood.  In this case, it meant both.  You had to bring your own stool because you could not stand one more second of your legs sticking to those cheap plastic chairs that are “usually” used at graduation parties.  At least you were left alone until you had to present your findings to your boss.  However, this meant that your mind got distracted easily and sometimes fell asleep until your eyes and mind processed nothing that was on your screen.   

Your mind woke up out of its stagnant state to that sound. You know, that sound.  The sound that’s been drilled into your mind ever since you were young.  The sound of a fire alarm going off along with its blinking lights.  You were surprised the building even had working fire systems.  But, you did what you were taught and you stayed low to the ground and crawled on your hands and knees keeping your hand along the wall to guide your way.  You found your way to the side of the building out a fire exit.  One of those exits near the trucking docks of your building.  You stopped a mere couple feet from the building to catch your breath, which more ended up like you crouched to cough your lungs out.  This is what you imagined smoking for 50 years felt like.  

You looked up just as a firefighter started coming towards you.  Do all firefighters have to imitate magazines and be super hot in uniform and way out of your league?  He still had his smoke mask over his face and his helmet on, as he should , so you couldn’t make out much of what he actually looked like.   “Ma’am, are you okay?”  

You would have responded if something else didn’t catch your attention.  Behind the fireman’s legs, you could see someone else in a gray hoodie walking away from the scene.  Walking.  As in “cool guys don’t look at explosions” walking, and that kind of walking away from a fire can never be good.  He started to raise his right hand above his head while keeping his back turned toward you and STILL WALKING.   You couldn’t be sure what he was doing or what is intentions are, but you had to take a chance.  

With your strength that you found somewhere, you body slammed the fireman in the hips as hard as you could and that managed to get him, and yourself, to the ground.  His arms encircled around you, out of instinct you think, and you were buried into his firejacket while his back took most of the brute hit from the ground.  The office building behind you exploded like an action movie and you felt the heat from the building behind you multiply by 1000 and a loud noise ring your ears to the point where you could only hear white noise for a second.  

You hesitantly opened your eyes expecting ash to sting them or you see the light of heaven letting you know that you died.  Thankfully, you were still mostly in one piece, but the sight of the person you suspected was responsible running from said exploding building was the first thing you saw while lying on the ground.  This isn’t an action movie, but you couldn’t convince your brain that it wasn’t.  

You got up from the ground and started sprinting after the man, your body and lungs screaming at you to stop and rest, but your adrenaline said ‘no’.  You kept following the man around a few corners, not even stopping to think if he was armed or not when a cop car came from an alley and hit him T-bone style.  It didn’t kill him, but it flung him a few feet in the opposite direction.  He definitely wouldn’t be resisting arrest anytime soon.  

“Hands on your head.” you heard shout in front of you.  You kept yours on the back of your head just so the cop would know you weren’t putting up a fight.  

You took this opportunity to cough your lungs out in the middle of an alley because they were exhausted from being filled with smoke and then asked to run a marathon.  

The cop was quick to cuff the man and lock him in the back of her squad car.  She then came around and stood next to your hunched over figure.  “Just try to breath deeply mame.”  After a few more minutes of coughing your lungs out you finally had the strength to look up at her.  Your eyes were watered and probably red from the smoke, but you could still make out most of what she looked like.  She was a middle aged black woman and had short black hair that swooped to one side.  She still was in her full uniform and a bullet proof vest.  

“Did you get him?”  Why was that the first thing you asked? No thank you, just that?  

“Yes mame, we did.  Your speed and quick thinking guided him right to us.  What were you doing chasing a man like him anyway?”  

You struggled to stand up, but you were able to keep some of your decency before you spoke to her.  “I saw him walking away from my office building that exploded, and no one runs unless they have something to hide, so I just mindlessly chased after him.  I chased him and you T-boned him.  Problem solved.”  You clapped your hands brushing the dust off them like you did a job well done.  

“You were in the building five blocks from here that exploded into flames?”  Have I really been running for five blocks?  Wow.  Might as well act as if you run regularly.   

“Yes, and if the fire inspection comes to it, can I testify against my boss? He’s a frugal piece of shit, so I doubt that the building was up to code.”  She seemed to give me a satisfied smirk.  

“Ok.  I like a strong independent women who knows what she wants.  Come with me and I’ll give you a ride to the station and get a statement from you.”  

“Thank you, Miss…”

“Athena, and if you ever want to be a cop or detective, I’ll put in a referral for you to get started into the training.  We’d love to have you.”  

So that’s how your day ended.  Athena drove you and her suspect to the police station, you gave a statement of what happened and how bad the building you worked in was.  You left your contact information incase they needed anything else or they wanted you for the detective job.  She even gave you a ride back to your, surprisingly, not destroyed car that was parked outside of your office building.  

________________________________________________________________

**Buck’s POV, later that day at station 118**

I walked back up the stairs after a shower to find most of the team in the kitchen.  Bobby was making something that smelled delicious for dinner.  I still couldn’t wrap my head around what happened earlier.  

“Hey Hen, did some lady come to the ambulance at the fire of that warehouse office building today?” I sat down at the kitchen table next to her.  

“We had a couple people there today but no one needed to go to the hospital, just needed some extra oxygen. Why, you recognize someone?” 

“No it’s just…”  Do I say that the muscles of a fireman lost against someone’s adrenaline.  I decide to leave that part out.  “Just someone was running away from the fire and after someone and I just wanted to make sure they’re ok.  I couldn’t find them afterwards.”

“Hey everyone.”  Athena walked up the stairs to the kitchen area and greeted everyone.  

“Hey Athena.”  I didn’t put too much enthusiasm into my greeting.  She went and kissed Bobby really quick and came back to me.  “Why you so down Buck?” 

“He’s trying to find someone who ran off from the fire today.”  Hen answered for me.  

“You mean the one that body slammed you before the building blew up.” 

Well, thanks for saving me the embarrassment Bobby.  I gave him that you seriously just said that look that he’s probably given me a million times.  

“Yes, that one.  She just ran off after body slamming me and it wasn’t a reactionary thing she did it BEFORE the building blew up, like right before.”  Athena gave me a knowingly smile apparently knowing something that I didn’t.  

“Oh yes, I know who she is.  She’s real sweet.  Caught our bomber, gave a statement about what she witness, and was willing to testify.”  She was saying this like it was no deal as easy as asking what you had for breakfast that morning.  

“You know her.  I wanted to see if I could thank her because she helped me avoid getting a face full of flames.”  

“Well, I still have her number.  But Buck …”

“Yes.” Athena always has something up her sleeve. 

“Treat her right.  She talked about the building she worked in.  She deserves something good.” 

“Yes mame.”  That wasn’t even my intention, but Buck 3.0 is the most respectful out of all the Bucks.    

Athena gave me her number and I went to one of the fire department office rooms where it was more quiet and less people would come in to interrupt or tease me for wanting to talk to a girl I barely met.  I type in her number and wait while the ringtones go by.  Then there’s that unfortunate monotone voice of an answering machine.  I decide to leave a message anyway.  

“Hey Y/n, it’s Buck.  Well you don’t know my name yet but I’m the firefighter you slammed earlier today.  Athena, the cop, gave me your number.  I just wanted to thank you for saving me.  You were really brave I heard, chasing down an armed aronsist.  **Hurry up Buck, you have limited voicemail space** I just wanted to thank you and see if you wanted to go out sometime … so I can properly thank you in person I mean.  Well I-.”  The call hung me up.  Hope that got saved.  

I decided to take a walk around the trucks and clear my head.  Before I made even one lap around, I got a text.  

Hey Buck.  Nice to finally know your name.  Hope I didn’t hurt you too bad from the body slam earlier.  My phone’s out of whack and not accepting calls since it got cracked in my street chase today, but I’d love to go to cheesecake factory with you sometime, or even just walking on the boardwalk.  You text me your availability, since I’m out of a job for now. Hehe. -Y/n

Ok Buck, don't mess this up.