#please for the love of god consider context your story experience will be so much more fulfilling

[henrysglock]

Stranger Things fans when I ask them to apply the context of a young man spending 20 of his 32 years alive being consistently and routinely tormented and experimented on every day to his big villain monologue about how life is repetitive and torturous and horrible:

However. In addition.

I'm also asking them to understand that in fact that speech was tragic, because it truly demonstrates that all this guy's life had been from his abduction at 12 years old up until this point was indeed "wake up, get tortured, sleep, repeat".

While also asking them to understand that this doesn't make him a "bad joker remake", but in fact makes him a person who genuinely believes, based on his lived experiences, that death is the only merciful escape for those who are like him. So from his point of view he really is a savior, because that's what salvation looks like to him based on what he's experienced every day since he was 12 years old.

While also asking them to understand that a boy who creates miniature terrariums for spiders, and who grows up into a man who does what he considers to be "saving" people, is not someone who started off with no empathy/compassion/ability to love, but someone whose empathy, compassion, and ability to love were systematically and brutally warped and/or tortured out of him.

While also asking them to understand that we're talking about a guy who received very little emotional support as a child, who hid away in a dark, dingy attic as a kid and no one questioned it, whose mother wanted to send him off to a government research lab, who felt that his mother despised him, who felt that he had no choice but to defend himself against his mother, who ended up in Martin fucking Brenner's hands anyway and then spent twenty years in Martin Fucking Brenner's "care".

Like I am begging people to apply context because context will make our villain so much more interesting (and also then I don't have to hear about how the MF is the big bad/would be a better final boss because Henry is just the "boring bad joker remake" dude)

None of it excuses his later behavior, obviously, but the clear cause and effect explanations that led to this point make him so much more compelling and complex. Now, with context, you have the disgust at his later actions being juxtaposed against the heartbreak of what he's been put through, while also creating a thread of logic and plausibility for certain aspects of his actions (even if it doesn't make them right, per se).

Objectively what he's done is horrific. I am not debating this. What he's done is inexcusable and makes him irredeemable. BUT!! The complexity and the context make the story 1000x better!! You're missing out on a really well crafted but also really fucking sad story!!

Begging everyone to apply the same level of nuance, depth of understanding, and care to the villains as we do for the heroes/morally grey characters. Your story experience will improve like 200-fold.

[ariaste]

A Discussion on Book Endings

Hey, friends. Thanks for coming today. I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is an intervention. Please, don't get defensive -- everyone here loves you and cares about you. But listen... I'm gonna need book readers and reviewers to reflect on the idea that finishing a book and going "Oh, I loved it so much, but I wish it was just a few pages longer!" is not really a valid point of negative critique in the assessment of a text.

Let me explain.

When I read people's otherwise wildly positive reviews of books and they say that line, I don't interpret it in context as, "This story needed to be a few pages longer for the plot to work, structurally, and for the ending to achieve a solid resolution." Rather, they basically seem to be saying simply, "I loved it and I didn't want it to end." That's always a GREAT feeling, but then they're.... taking points off from their total rating because of that??? They seem to be penalizing the author because they weren't left with a feeling of "Ugh, thank god it's over"? It's like, "This would have been five stars if it had had just one more chapter but it made me sad that it ended, so four stars" -- Guys, do we understand that's an insane take? It's insane. A book has to end. If you shriek "NO!!!" that it's over because you were having such a great time, that's... that's a symptom of a 5-star book, babes. I'm not sure why there's such a fashion these days for penalizing authors for this particular thing in this particular way, but it's really baffling to me.

But setting aside the puzzling trend of "I'm knocking points off because it ended when it should have gone on until I personally was fully bored and exhausted of it, like the 11th season of a TV show that was only supposed to go until season 4" -- listen, I guarantee you that nine times out of ten, when you're out here longing for just one more chapter or saying "this could have used an epilogue" you... are wishing for something that would have actively ruined your enjoyment and the quality of the book.

Are you a writer yourself? Have you ever finished writing a book before? Have you done it more than once? Have you deeply studied the endings of books? They are HARD, let me tell you what. Endings are so much harder than beginnings, because you're looking for that beautiful final note, like the ending of a symphony, and you're trying to ride it for a few glorious seconds before the FLOURISH and dum-dummmmmm....! and the conductor collapses as the audience bursts into applause! Right? Yes? Except that chances are that one more chapter or epilogue would ruin the pacing and resolution of the ending and muddle up the summary of the theme and thesis statement, and all of this WOULD ACTUALLY fuck up your experience of the story as a whole. For example, please consider the last Harry Potter book as an example. We all hate JKR now for being a TERF but oh, children, how quickly we forget that back in the olden times, we used to hate her for that fucking epilogue that made everything that came before feel rancid and pointless and hollow and cheap. Y'all remember how sickening and infuriating that was? Do you remember the Hunger Games epilogue? Nine times out of ten, that's what you're inexplicably wishing for.

To see this point illustrated, let's do a quick exercise together. Go pick out a piece of classical music -- some of my best suggestions for this are Beethoven's Ode to Joy, or "Der Holle Rache" from Mozart's Magic Flute, or Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. Listen to it all the way through. If you're struggling with scrolling addiction and your attention span has been severely damaged, fine, listen to the last two minutes ("Der Holle Rache" is the shortest, just 3 minutes). Then, after the song is done, click back to some random spot earlier in the piece, listen to another 30 seconds, and then stop. Consider: Did adding that last 30 seconds materially improve the piece, or did it undermine the overall emotional journey? Did it help the ending to stick the landing even more than it already did, or does it just feel weirdly stuck-on as an afterthought, like the "for more fun videos, check out the rest of our channel and don't forget to subscribe!!!" card at the end of youtube videos?

When you are wishing for an epilogue, my doves, you are wishing for something you do not actually want -- or which you probably would not want if you had the option to see it in practice and compare it side by side with the original. You are wishing for something that would more than likely make the story worse. You are holding the author at fault for something being wrong with the text only because you hit immersion and were having a lot of fun and didn't want to come back up for air. Like, I'm just not sure that's something that the author should be blamed for? It sounds like they were doing their job really well???

Please, just. Separate your feelings of "bittersweet disappointment that this wonderful book is over" from "frustration that the author didn't stick the landing, ugh what a flop" because they are two separate things. Before you say "I'm taking points off because I wish there was more", please take two seconds to ask yourself critical thinking questions like, "Why did the author choose to end the book here rather than in two more chapters?" because (other than a few wild outliers that should not be counted) the answer is never, "They got bored and just didn't feel like finishing the story." Chances are, they chose that specific ending for a reason. They ended it there because that's the point that underlines the thesis statement of the book, or because the emotions of that scene are the ones they want you to remember and walk away with, or because that marks the place where the story arc is genuinely over. When the author says, "And they all lived happily ever after," that means that what happily-ever-after looks like is in your hands now.

Nine times out of ten, you don't want one more chapter. Please. I promise you that you don't want one more chapter. The book is done; what you want now is either fanfiction or someone to talk about it with. Or maybe to start the book over from the beginning! Believe me, you would not want one more chapter if you had it. (Or, if you did have it and it magically didn't suck, you would just keep wanting more chapters because that's what "really enjoying the book" means. In which case, go read fanfic, that's what it is for.) I promise you, I promise you, the book would probably be worse with one more chapter and you would not like it as much. Please stop wishing for the author to be less good at their job. Please. A book has to end; so does this post. And we all live happily ever after*. The End.

----- * The post-canon coffeeshop AU sequel will be detailed exhaustively on AO3

[garbagequeer]

i see your Nationalposting and as a fellow Longtime National Fan I would greatly like to know your favorite Old National songs/lyrics <3

hi!! im not sure what's considered Old the national so i'll go with anything before high violet and i'll leave out the ones that feel like obvious common favorites (about today, slow show, mr november and fake empire all of which i love). and i'll order them by album because i wrote my answer and now it's annoying me that it's in a random order

from the national:

i love the lines on bitters and absolute that go "if i were a spy in the world inside your head / would i be your wife in a better life you led" i think because it builds a good rhythm by using rhymes not only between lines but also inside the same line (wife and life, if i and spy) and a little alliteration by using 4 W words in so little space. it gets stuck in my head so much because it's so catchy phonetically

i'll also say 29 years which feels like cheating bc it couples with slow show but i love the imagery of this song and also the sound of the feedback and guitar in the background is so beautiful (i read somewhere they made it by stroking the cords with a fork but idk how true that is. if true i <3 getting weird with guitars)

THE PERFECT SONG. they really made a perfect song about not finding the perfect song. i love the "shallow minded adult tricks but i know there's a river in me" line and the general theme of this song. no notes it's the perfect song fr i cant talk about this one

from sad songs for dirty lovers:

murder me rachel (love the ribbons imagery and if anyone knows any other songs that uses that id love to know about them... send ribbon songs for my ribbon songs collection please. so far i've got this one, describe by perfume genius and sober by lorde)

lucky you because i love a pathetic ass state of mind forever

it never happened because it is perfect for a somewhat sad walk around the neighborhood and i love the line "now nobody's funny / no god, they took our fashion week" in part because of the twist of mentioning fashion week which is always a little funny when describing all these horrible things that get them depressed (feeling very old, nothing being funny, no god) and the "what to my wondering eyes should appear [dramatic pause] ...nothing" because it is equally funny while serious too. i also love how it changes sound halfway through i love a song with parts.

from alligator:

i adore the menacing lyrics to city middle about having money and ideas and being worked up and drunk/high and wanting to "gator around the warm beds of beginners" and the vague and hazy images of these people pissing in a sink or confessing things. and i like how it builds to being louder as it progresses following the story from the menacing beginning where it seems these people are going to do some damage to other people over this calmer melody to a more anxious melody/repetitive lyrics where instead we find them to be doing damage to themselves. normal binge drinker experience

i love the general frantic desperate energy of abel and the lines "you turn me good and god-fearing / tell me what am i supposed to do with that" and "i see water on the bridge / well, you better hold my hand through this". i love the general conflicting feelings in this song. i should live in salt's crazy older brother

from boxer:

green gloves <<<333 i think they were crazy for this one it's probably my favorite song about friendship ever

i love the line from apartment story about how the stereo "sings to itself of its long lost loves" i think it's a really fun device but also works perfectly in context to depict the sway certain things like art or beauty have over our perception of our lives and how we use these things as covers and crutches to deal with the mundane dissatisfaction of working life. i also like how first he seems more dismissive of the stereo which is just doing "whatever it does", which to me shows the distancing tired adults have to these artistic or beautiful things due to the reality of their lives and a certain level of cynicism. I also really like the first verse with the couple getting ready to go out and the little lines that indicate frustration with this ritual ("i try and try to pin your flowers on", "i can tie my tie all by myself" for offering a similar contrast between appearances and feelings

i'd love to hear someone else's thoughts on favorite songs and lyrics from the national btw so you can send you favorites if you want :^)

[bonesandthebees]

glass analysis time!!! it’s been a while for me!

people comparing it to deadnaming are SO CLOSE but instead of considering the context they project onto the POV character in “real time” and miss the point completely. bc to me it came across as the opposite of deadnaming.

when i first read ch 9, the way you described tommy using wilbur’s name and the way the story was going so far, i actually found it comparable to when someone starts using a the right name/pronouns, bc using new pronouns, even if they’re the right ones, can feel super weird at first bc you’re not used to hearing it and bc of internalized transphobia. but there’s a part of you that thrills at hearing it and the more you hear it the more right it sounds and hearing your name becomes something euphoric rather than dysphoric or apathetic. (obviously i know that this is not a universal trans experience, but i’ve seen other people talk about it so it seems at least somewhat common)

this is where my mind went based on your descriptions, especially when tommy asks wil if any part of him recognizes his name and the “bird in a cage in his chest” perks up

like, wil has literally had his personhood denied and been conditioned to believe it’s right and him and many others believe it is bc of the notion that religion should never be questioned, both by its own people bc it demonstrates a “lack of faith” (is an effective way to control people) and by people not affiliated w the religion bc of “respecting others’ religion”

how many people have experienced something similar in real life??? quite a few it seems. and in my experience, these people tend to not respond well to being told by someone else who they are, even (and especially) if it’s true.

plus, similar to wil coming to terms w the abuse he faced in stars, it can really hard for abuse victims to acknowledge that they’ve been abused, bc if the illusion of control and all that.

(kids will complain about having to explain why the curtains are blue then turn around and not understand a very obvious unreliable narrator in a detailed, intentionally-written piece of MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY FANFICTION. i don’t wanna say “touch grass” but maybe at least pay attention in english class???)

anyways i’m loving the story so far and can’t wait to see where you take it!!!! thank you so much!!!

- 💜

PURPLE HEART ANON!! <333

honestly I didn't have that exact experience in mind when I was coming up with the concept of the name thing, but it fits SO well. he's been told for so many years now that he shouldn't have a name. he's dedicated himself fully to that belief in order to cope with his entire situation, that it feels wrong to hear his name! but he stills recognizes it as his. even after all these years, there's a part of him buried deep down that wants to hear it even if he tries to deny it

also yes!! like stars!wilbur, it's gonna be so hard for glass!wilbur to accept the fact that he was abused by a religious institution! the faith he's been forced to accept and dedicate his entire being to has hurt him in unimaginable ways that's not gonna be an easy thing for him to just realize and accept.

god that should be my new tagline. "I'm not gonna say touch grass but please pay attention in english class" i'm losing my shit that's me at so many of the comments I get

please it's an unreliable narrator guys just cmon use your heads-

thank you so much purple heart anon!! so glad you enjoyed!!

[normal-thoughts-official]

All things considered, Thisobald is such a juicy, interesting character. He is Ketheric's son, but we only learn about his existence when he appears and tells us that. Ketheric doomed his entire town and possibly the world for the sake of ressurrecting his daughter, yet it's entirely possible to go through all of his dialogue & diaries & general environmental storytelling without ever knowing he also had a son

But Thisobald barely goes a line without making sure we know he's Ketheric's son. He only ever calls him father Ketheric, which strikes me as odd because in my experience people don't really refer to their parents that way. Which shows both 1- great deference; and 2- a desperate, visceral need to claim his spot as part of the Thorm family, as Ketheric's son. I mean, could you imagine watching your father desperately start a war to bring back your sister, but barely acknowledge your existence? Even after the Shadow Curse has washed away all of his humanity, his desperate need to be loved by his father remained. Not only in the form of constantly trying to establish his place as his son like an insecure child who's overcompensating, but also by the way he talks about him when asked. It's all "I can't say it, can't displease father, father wouldn't like that". He wants to please him so badly. In fact, out of the 3 Shadow Cursed Thorms, he is the only one who even mentions Ketheric

And he's also desperately afraid of him

He pretty much tells us so, right off the bat. Thisobald is kind of implied to be a fuck-up son, considering the way Ketheric barely acknowledges him, cursed him forever without a second thought to bring Isobel back, and also Thisobald's diary that shows that he was pretty easily tricked into spilling Thorm family secrets. And every time we ask him about Ketheric, that fear of fucking up, betraying his trust, earning his wrath makes an appearance, even as he can't help but tell us what he knows anyway

Which brings me to the second thing I find most interesting about Thisobald, which is that we can actually learn from him. With Malus and Gerringothe the main upside to talking to them instead of attacking outright is that you might be able to kill them without having to fight. But Thisobald gives you information, offers it even ("you drink, you tell me a story, you ask me a question"), for no reason other than that he...

He craves connection

Malus just wants to hurt people. He spouts all that Sharran "the solace of the blade" bullshit but we know he just enjoys cutting into people from everything we see in the House of Healing. He is probably the most evil of the Thorms, and I'm counting Ketheric here. Gerringothe wants gold, she isn't particularly interested or uninterested in the player or morality or anything else. But Thisobald wants to talk

Drink with me. Talk to me. Tell me a story. Ask me a question. Fucked up context aside, all Thisobald wants from you is some entertainment and a conversation as an equal

Sure, yeah, you have to entertain him, and you also have to drink under threat of murder, but what Thisobald is desperately seeking is just connection. So desperately he'll threaten you for it, because he's Shadow Cursed and fucked up, and how else is he supposed to get it, besides? Not even his father gave him a second glance, and the Thorms only know the language of violence. Conquer, take, force others to do your bidding. It's what he knows, and as previously established, he wants to be a proper Thorm, to be a proper son and not a fuck up, and that means playing that game

But all things considered, Thisobald is different from the others. Ketheric has some weird god shit going on idk. Malus is an Evil Doctor™. Gerringothe owns all the trade in the town. They all occupy and seek powerful positions

Thisobald has a distillery

He also brews poisons, sure. But it's not exactly Town Domination material. He's not a big, powerful, important figure. He's not even particularly relevant in town. He is the Thorm equivalent of the cousin who's a cashier. Evil deeds-wise, he's killed someone out of self preservation interest (and, again, for the sake of not being a fuck up in the eyes of the rest of the Thorms) and he brews poisons. That's nothing when compared to the other Thorms. And his shadow-cursed version isn't interested in the poisons, but in the drinks. I'm pretty sure the whole poison thing was just his way of turning what he already liked (brewing) into something that would be seem as respectable and make him useful to the Thorms (creating poison). I'm fully convinced that if he had been born into any other family he would be the most normal individual you've met in your life. Because when the curse takes away all of him but a single obsession, what is left is the craving for a normal fucking human interaction and some fun. And that's it

That's what he loves and craves

People. Talking. Stories. Someone who wants to know things about him, ask him a question

The love of a father who is so dedicated to his daughter it turns into sickness and mania, but who never acknowledges his existence

But he was born to the Thorms, and he did stay with them, unlike Isobel, and he did internalize all of that bullshit about being strong and taking what he wants under threats of violence, and he does want love from his sick ass father, and he is evil and poisoning people and killing others for that love. And it's so interestingly tragic and would be so full of redemption potential, had he not already lost his chance along with his humanity when the family and father he so desperately tried to fit in with fed him to the shadows and turned him into a puppet who's forever left to stew in his misery in what once was the place where he got to meet people and engage in the things that he enjoyed. Man. And I'm supposed to move on from all this and go fight the next shadow cursed vine blight or whatever like this isn't one of the most tragic characters in this whole ass town

Astarion this, Gortash that. I'll believe y'all like evil fucked up men who could have a redemption arc when you join me in the Thisobald Thorm trenches

[b0dysnatch3rz]

So my very catholic mother recently has been listening to ghost after she insisted on going to a ritual with me. It's been a genuinely sweet experience considering how hatefully Christian my dad is. She's definitely still a bit iffy sometimes, but she has generally been rather accepting. With this in mind, I've written down some of my favorite things she's said/asked/done about the band so far:

-"I like the one that does that cute little stomp thing." (Referring to Dew)

-"He kinda sounds like a chipmunk." (Talking about Copia. I have no clue what she means and I think it's much funnier if I never do.)

-Visibly cringed after Copia's taint talk.

-Covered her ears anytime satan was mentioned.

-"Just don't tell your father about this." (She then told my dad about it.)

-"I like the music! As long as I don't listen to the words I'll be fine!"

-She loves Call Me Little Sunshine

-Asked how all the papa's voices sounded so similar. (Had to explain that it's all Tobias in masks and the Emeritus family tree after this and she still is confused.)

-"He looks like a goth Michael Myers." (Referring to Copia)

-Is not a fan of twenties, although she finds the hoo-hah part hilarious.

-"It's so silly! I can see them giggling in the recording studio like little kids who just said a bad word."

-"They aren't actually Satanists, right?"

-"I should have known you'd grow up to like this stuff after you climbed out the church window." (For context, when I was like 7-8 I climbed out of a 2nd story window while at children's church and scared half the staff to death)

-"A lot of gay people like them, huh?"

-"I know you don't believe in god, and that's okay, but please don't sacrifice goats in my back yard or anything like that." (almost funny enough to forget the years of religious trauma)

-"His pants look like they're gonna rip." (Reffering to Copia's outfit)

-"How does that get through their helmets?" (Referring to Aether, Swiss and Dew's vape thing)

[revenge-of-the-shit]

Writing Chinese characters set within Western worlds

If you don’t want to read it on tumblr, go check this out on medium or go follow me on instagram at @annessarose_writes!

Alright. You know what. I’ve seen plenty of stereotypes in fiction (and in social media) that are so incredibly pervasive I’ve seen many Chinese people within the western world internalize it themselves. So here’s a rough guide on writing Chinese characters in an English-speaking Western setting, written by me, a Chinese Canadian woman.

If you’re here to say something racist fuck off. Otherwise, welcome! This is not a comprehensive guide by any means. This is merely a brief overview based on my own experiences. My experience (as someone in North America) will differ from someone living in, say, Europe or South America. I’m not representative of every Chinese person because everyone’s experience is unique. So here were are.

1. Our names

Chinese names are usually written as follows: [family name] [name]. Let’s take a Canadian historical figure as an example: 黃寬先. In Chinese, it’s pronounced “Wong Foon Sien.” On Canadian documents — which are written [First name] [Last name], he’d be called “Foon Sien Wong.” He went by “Foon Sien” for most of his life. That’s his full “first name.” Nobody would call him Foon because that’s just half of his name (unless given permission). It’d be like meeting a stranger called Alex and calling them “Al” right off the bat. Sure, they could go by Al, but you don’t know that.

For those of us living in the Western world, some of us have both a Chinese name and an English name. In these cases, our Chinese name becomes our middle name in English (e.g. a character could be called John Heen-Gwong Lee).

For some people who immigrated to the Western world but were born in China, their legal name would be their Chinese name. Some choose to keep that name. Some choose an English name as their “preferred” name but keep their Chinese name on legal documents. It varies.

2. Parents & Stereotypes

There’s two stereotypes which are so pervasive I see it being used over and over in jokes even within Chinese (and, to a larger extent, asian) communities:

The [abusive] tiger mom and the meek/absent dad

Both parents are unreasonably strict/abusive and they suck

I have yet to see any fiction stories with Chinese parents where they’re depicted as kind/loving/supportive/understanding (if you have recommendations — please do send them my way). Not all Chinese parents are tiger parents. Chinese parents — like all parents — are human. Good god. YES, they’re human! YES, they have flaws! YES, they are influenced by the culture they grew up in!

That isn’t to say there aren’t parents like those tropes. There are. I know this because I grew up in a predominantly Chinese community where I had many a friend’s parent who was like this. Parents who compare their kids to the best kid in class. Parents who force kids into private lessons and competitions that the kid despises because the parents think it’s for the best. Parents who have literally called their kid a disappointment because they didn’t get 100%.

But please, also consider: there’s parents who support their child’s goals and who listen. Not all parents force their kid into the stereotypical trifecta of lawyer/doctor/engineer — I know of a good number who support their child in choosing the path they want. There’s parents who make mistakes and learn and try their best to support their child. So please, for the love of god, if you write a Chinese character, don’t reduce their parents to stereotypes.

3. Language & Learning

When I first read The Son of Neptune by Rick Riordan, I was so excited to see a Chinese Canadian character in Frank Zhang. Finally, there was someone like me. Finally, there was representation in well-known western media.

While I do appreciate that RR added in Frank Zhang, it’s pretty obvious that he didn’t really know how to write a Chinese Canadian character. One of the most glaring examples: in The Son of Neptune, Frank reveals he can’t really read Chinese. In like, the next book (I think — it’s been a while since I read it), Frank is suddenly able to read Chinese because he “learned” it in two week’s time.

Nope. Nuh-uh. Learning Chinese is a pain, let me tell you. There’s thousands of different characters and it is something you need to devote a lot of time to learning (especially if you’re progressed past the best childhood years for learning a language). So if you’re writing about a Chinese character living in the western world, here’s what you need to know:

A character who was born and raised in the western world does not necessarily know how to read/write in Chinese.

If they were raised by their own family, the character would very likely know how to speak their own dialect. They’d be able to understand the language used in movies/TV and they sound like a native speaker, but they may not know how to use language outside of certain contexts (the term for this is heritage speaker).

They probably went to Chinese school. They probably hated it. Chinese school is usually universally hated and does not teach you jack shit other than a hatred for the place and a vague memory of learning how to read the language without actually retaining knowledge of what you learned.

Most of my friends who know how to read/write in Chinese learned from tutors, parents, or were born in China.

There’s two main types of written Chinese: Traditional (used by Cantonese speakers) and Simplified (used by Mandarin speakers).

There are MANY other dialects (which I don’t know much about). The most common ones are Mandarin (usually spoken by people from the mainland), then Cantonese (usually spoken by people from Hong Kong).

4. Fitting into the community

Usually, the story is one of two things: they’re the only Asian kid in the entire school, or they grew up in a predominantly East Asian community. Things to consider for both of these when you’re writing:

Growing up the only Asian kid

They’re “that Asian kid.” They’re different. They walk into a class and feel weird and out of place.

They bring food from home (usually ethnic cuisine) to school. Other classmates stare at it, make fun of it, demand what that strange food is.

“Where are you from?” “Here.” “No, like, where are you really from?”

“Your name is funny.”

People literally never getting the character’s name right.

And that horrible, horrible feeling: wishing that they were white so they could avoid all of this.

Growing up in a predominantly East Asian community

It’s not uncommon for Chinese cuisine to mix with other east Asian cuisines. For special occasions (or just for a casual night out), your character could very well go out to get some sushi, or go for some KBBQ, or get some Vietnamese noodles.

Screaming “AIYAA” at/with their friends unironically if they’re annoyed (I’ve done this a lot with Cantonese friends. Less so with Mandarin friends).

Slipping into Chinese for like, two words, during a mostly-English conversation to talk about food or some other topic that can’t be adequately conveyed in English.

Reading books by white authors and learning about white history and growing up thinking white names, white books, and white history is the norm and standard even though the community is surrounded by East Asian people.

When the character leaves this community, there’s a brief culture shock when they realize how sheltered they’ve been.

Things in common for both of these:

The character has grown up on ethnic cuisine. Yes, Chinese people do eat rice with many of our meals. Yes, boba (bubble) tea is extremely popular. No, rice isn’t the only thing we eat. No, not all Chinese people love boba (though as a Chinese person I admit this sounds sacrilegious to say…)

The character likely grew up watching film/TVthat originates from East Asia. It’s not uncommon to watch Studio Ghibli films. It’s not uncommon to watch Japanese or Korean shows with canto/mando dub (examples: Ultraman, Kamen Rider). If you want to see a classic Chinese film from Hong Kong that’s fucking hilarious, watch Kung Fu Hustle.

The character has felt or been told that they’re “too westernized to be Chinese, but too Chinese to fit into the western world.” They’re torn between the two.

5. General portrayal

It’s quite simple, really. We’re human. We’re regular people. We have regular hobbies like all people do. We’re good at some subjects and bad at others. We have likes and dislikes like all people do. So here’s a list of stereotypes you can avoid.

STEREOTYPES TO AVOID BECAUSE WE’RE REGULAR HUMANS AND WE DON’T FIT INTO A SINGLE COOKIE CUTTER SHAPE, DAMMIT.

The character is a maths whiz and perfect at all things STEM.

The character is a straight-A+ gifted/IB/AP student.

The character is the next coming of Mozart and is amazing at piano/violin.

The character’s free time is spent only studying.

The character is insanely good at martial arts.

The character is either meek and submissive or an explosive, dangerous force.

I’m not going to mention the other stereotypes. You know, those ones. The really obvious ones that make fun of and demonize (sometimes through multiple untruths) how we look and how we live our lives. You should know.

Of course, there are people who fit into one or more of these. That’s not the point. The point is: molding all Chinese characters to these stereotypes (which white media tends to do) is harmful and reductionist. We’re more than stereotypes.

—

6. Conclusion

We need more diversity in portrayal of Chinese characters. Reducing us into one-dimensional caricatures has done nothing but harm us — look at what’s happening now. This guide is by no means comprehensive, but I hope it has helped you by providing a quick overview.

If you want to accurately portray Chinese characters, do your research. Read Chinese fiction. Watch Chinese films/TV. Initiate a conversation with the community. Portray us accurately. Quit turning us into caricatures.

[sketching-shark]

I think we should start a protection squad (although they don’t need it because they can protect themselves) for Sun Wukong and Guanyin

“Begone monkie kid fandom trying to down grade these really interesting characters with interesting personality’s and backstory ( the both of them like seriously Guanyin backstory is so cool) to a villain wile trying to justify your angsty backstory (that are no where near as cool as monkey who fights gods and Person who has 1000 arms and heads to help people in need) for the actual villain”

So who wants to join

Me:*raises my hand*

Ps: sorry if I got Guanyin backstory wrong am not an expert on it.

Haha okay so some critiques on the jttw & associated media western fandom & fandom in general coming up, so please skip this upcoming text wall if you don't want to encounter my undoubtedly ~devastating~ words (i.e. don't like don't read as people love to say, & if I have to be inundated with images of my notp every time I go into the sun wukong tag then I imagine people can be chill with me expressing my opinions & giving people fair warning that I WILL be critiquing common fandom trends, but no need for you to see that if you don’t want to. Cool? Cool.)

-----

PFFFFFTTT oh man there are many times when I feel like signing up for such a protection squad...when it comes to the current western jttw & Sun Wukong fandom I do feel like I'm often swinging at a rapid pace between "well it's fandom & people are allowed to make the stories they want" & "I am once again begging my fellow monkie kid enthusiasts (& sometimes creators) to do more research into the og classic/show it more respect so you can avoid any potentially offensive/off-the-mark misunderstandings of the status & cultural context of the characters in their country of origin (I promise it's super interesting & I can provide you with links to free pdf copies of the entire Yu translation, i.e. the best one ever created, so feel free to ask!) & maybe also stop constantly stripping away all the nuance of Sun Wukong's character for the sake of either making him an entire asshole so your little meow meow can look completely innocent in comparison and/or making the monkey king's entire life & character revolve around said meow meow."

Like I get that fandom's supposed to be a kind of anything-goes environment, but one thing that honestly seems to be true of a lot of fandoms--and the western one for Sun Wukong & co. is certainly not immune from this--is that there often seems to be a kind of monoculturalization at work in what stories are created & what character interpretations are made popular. Across a multitude of fandoms, you frequently see basically nothing but the exact same tropes being made popular & even being insisted on for the canonical work (especially hasty redemption arcs & enemies to lovers these days), the exact same one-dimensional character types that characters from an original work keep getting shoved into, the exact same story beats, etc. And I get it to an extent, as fandom is generally a space where people just make art and fic for fun & without thinking too hard about it & without any pressure. 

This seems to, however, often unfortunately lead to the mentality that it’s your god-given right to do literally whatever you want with literally any cultural figure without even the slightest bit of thought put into their cultural, historical, and even religious context, even (and sometimes especially) when it comes to figures that are really important in a culture outside your own. For such figures--even if you first encounter them in a children’s cartoon--you should be a little more careful with what you do with them than you would with your usual Saturday morning line-up. It of course has to be acknowledged that there exists a whole pile of absolutely ridiculous & cursed pieces of media that are based on Journey to the West & that were produced in mainland China, but for your own education if nothing else I consider it good practice for those of us (myself certainly included) who aren’t part of the culture that produced JTTW to put more thought into how we might want to portray these characters so that at the very least (to pull some things I’ve seen from the jttw western fandom) we’re not turning a goddess of mercy into an evil figure for the sake of Angst(TM), or relegating other important literary figures into the positions of offensive stereotypes, or making broad claims about the source text & original characterizations of various figures that are blatantly untrue, or mocking heavenly deities because of what’s actually your misunderstanding of how immortality works according to Daoist beliefs. Yet while a lot of this is often due to people not even trying to understand the context these figures are coming from, I do want to acknowledge that the journey (lol reference) to understand even a fraction of the original cultural context can be a daunting one, especially since, as I’ve mentioned before, it can be really hard & even next to impossible to find good, accessible, & legitimate explanations in English of how, for example, the relationship between Sun Wukong and the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China & according to the Buddhist beliefs that define the original work. 

That is to say, I do think it’s an unfortunate, if unavoidable, part of any introduction of an original text into a culture foreign to its own for there to be sometimes a significant amount of misinterpretation, mistranslations, and false assumptions. There is, however, a big difference between learning from your honest mistakes, & doubling down on them while dismissing all criticism of your misinterpretation into that abstract category of “fandom drama.” The latter attitude is kind of shitty at best and horrifically entitled at worst. 

Plus, as I’ve discovered, there is a great deal of interest and joy to be drawn from keeping yourself open to learning aspects of these texts & figures that you weren’t aware of! I can say from my own experience that I’ve always really enjoyed & appreciated it when individuals on this site who come from a Chinese background--and who know much more about the cultural context of JTTW than me--have taken the time to explain its various aspects. It often leaves me feeling like woooooaaaahhhhhHHH!!!! as to how amazingly full of nuanced meaning JTTW is like dang no wonder it’s one of China’s Four Great Classical Novels. 

And I guess that right there is the heart of a lot of my own personal frustration and disappointment with the ways that fandoms often approach a literary work or other piece of media...like don’t get me wrong, a lot of the original works a fandom may grow around are just straight-up goofy & everyone’s aware of it & has fun with it, yet the trend of approaching what are often nuanced and multi-layered works in terms of how well they fit and/or can be shoved into pretty cliche ideas of Redemption Arc or Enemies to Lovers or Hero Actually Bad, Villain Actually Good etc...well, it just seems to cheapen and even erase even the possibility of understanding the wonderful complexity or even endearing simplicity that made these works so beloved in the first place. Again, I feel like I need to make it clear that I’m not saying fandom should be a space where people are constantly trying to one-up each other with their hot takes in literary analysis, but it would be nice and even beneficial to allow room for commentary that strives to approach these works in a multi-faceted way, analysis & interpretations that go against the popular fandom beliefs, & criticism of the work or even of fandom trends (yes it is in fact possible to legitimately love something but still be critical of its aspects) instead of immediately attacking people who try to engage in such as just being haters who don’t want anyone to have fun ever (X_X).   

----

Anyway, I know I didn’t cover even half of the stuff you brought up in the first place anon, but I don’t want any interested parties to this post to suffer too long through my text wall lol. I was asked to try my hand at illustrating Guanyin, but as with you I’m nowhere near as informed as I should be about her, so I want to do more research on her history and religious importance before I attempt a portrait. I’ll try my best, and do plan to pair that illustration with my own outsider’s attempt to summarize her character. From what little I do know I am in full agreement that her backstory is so incredibly amazing...just the fact that she literally eschewed the bliss of Nirvana to help all beings reach it, and even split herself into pieces in the attempt to do so (with Buddha granting her eleven heads and a thousand arms as a result)...man, I can see why she’s such a beloved & respected deity. 

----

 As for what western fandom commonly does with everyone’s favorite god-fighting primate...I can talk about this at length if there’s interest, but for this post I’ll just say that I guess one lesson from all of this is that for all the centuries that have passed since Journey to the West was first completed, literally no one drawing inspiration from the original tale in the west (lol) has come even slightly close to being able to equal or even capture half the extent of the nuance, complexity, religious, historical, and cultural aspects, and humor that define Wu Cheng'en's story of an overpowered monkey who defied even Buddha.

So thank the heavens we'll always have the original.

[felikatze]

Just wanted to say thank you so much for all the brainworms you have been giving me and my friends for the past few hours about Ayin and all the analyses you've been doing about him.

I have been losing my mind in the middle of the night thinking about all the things you've said, turning it over like crazy and trying to compare it with the gameplay I've had of Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina.

Please do more analysis and share more of your ideas! Please? Please, with cherry on top? Please, I beg of you?

Especially if you have in-depth ideas of analyses for the Sephirah and how it relates to both their own characters and Ayin and Angela.

I thank you greatly in advance!

the implication that i've infected an entire friend group with my brainworms is power that will 100% go to my head i feel amazing. what else is analysis posting except trying to inflict people with the same thoughts bouncing around your skull on repeat

i DO have shit on the sephirah but mostly netzach, because i love netzach, and i in fact found my discord ramble about him (and chesed)

i dont have things on how they relate to A and Angela specifically because I mainly kept thinking abt Reverbaration Ensemble parallels... i have so many thoughs abt Netzach and Bremen.

(but if you want me to talk about, say, a specific core supression, or floor realization... i have a lot of thoughts on floor realizations.)

First off I am so sorry that you seem to think I'm smart because that means i have the perfect opportunity to inflict you with this

okay now we can get to the serious stuff

[transcript:

containment breach:

quick ramble abt lor again but i love the ensemble receptions so much. i'm at chesed's rn, and i know he's been chill the entire game, but him just refusing to comment on jae-hoon's tragedy seems, out of context, a dick move, but also is so important for chesed to do? he recognizes that another's suffering is not related to him, that he can't do anything about it, and that this is fine. The closest i'd describe chesed in lobcorp would be "activist burnout." Due to betraying the lab from garion's pressure, chesed was so consumed by guilt, he just blamed himself for everything and became more callous because it's already his fault, right? There's nothing he can do. But in lor, he knows what his responsibilities are, and allows himself joy where he can find it. I love the ensemble receptions bcuz they are just examplary of each patron libriarian's growth and i iqbfjc (sobs)

GOD this sure is a paragraph

also have to salute netzach for carrying his scene all by himself as the musicians of bremen just (animal noises) :pray:

ykno being online i realize that i'm not quiet at all i am a complete and utter chatterbox /end]

[transcript:

containment breach:

thinking abt netzach's scene where he doesn't talk to bremen, because he can't, but recognizes this who has not only lost themself in their own art but also their own suffering

i just i love netzach so much his entire character arc is abt learning to live with depression and learning to want to live again

so he becomes unable to understand, really, why someone would sacrifice themselves for their own art

when he started out just, similar yet different from bremen, completely submerged in his own misery

musicians of bremen reminds me i still have bremen bon bons at home i should eat those. they r tasty /end]

i wanna specifically dig into this scene more because i love that scene, a lot.

Art as we get to know it in the City is irrevocably tied to violence. Puppets are made of human bodies, music is played on bones and sinews. To the artists of the City, to create art is to make someone suffer. Rewatching Netzach's story bits, Roland describes it as doing nothing but seeking stimulation and being provocative.

Furthermore, there is a direct comparison between art and alcohol. To paraphrase more, the Pianist must've been one hell of a stimulant, like getting hit by a strong booze. A performance some are still hungover from.

Netzach's main struggle was addiction because of depression, and his growing appreciation for art is a continuation of that arc. He says himself that art and alcohol are linked.

However, alcohol is a step down from hard drugs. Netzach hasn't quit, but just that step down shows he learned moderation, which makes me very proud of him.

Moderation is what the other.. let's just call them artists, lack. I said in the screencaps above, initially, Netzach was lost in his own suffering, and the musicians of bremen are lost in their art. And if art is seen as equal to suffering, that just means Netzach and Bremen are more similar than expected. (Especially considering what we see of the musicians previously; they’re always trying to chase the same high they experienced listening to the Pianist by any means necessary. The addiction parallels are not suprising.)

I rewatched most of Netzach's lor scenes, and what rlly gets me is that in his first one, he seems almost the exact same as in lobcorp. He doesn't want to work, he got dragged into this against his will, he feels as if his accomplishments are futile.

But! He eventually invites Roland for drinks. He's not drinking to forget alone anymore, he's doing it as social activity. Furthermore, the more time he spends as Patron Librarian of Arts, the more he grows to appreciate art. Art is tied to suffering, still, but it is an expression of suffering. It does not produce any. Or should not, in any case. He sure wishes it wouldn’t.

So we arrive at his Ensemble Reception. This one makes a rather interesting comparison: art as the pursuit of the light. Let me elaborate.

To quote, “Honestly, I wanna tell people to stop doing the kind of art that requires ‘em to immolate themselves and others. Although, on the other hand... I can kinda see where they’re coming from. Art narrows your vision, after all.

You stop caring about the things around you. That’s how most artists seem to act, I think. And so, you indulge in the craft, not realizing that you’re throwing yourself and your surroundings into the fire you started.”

I pose this: Netzach speaks of his experience as Giovanni. Giovanni was a researcher who, when push came to shove, willingly sacrificed himself to advance the project, in hopes of seeing the light, seeing Carmen, again.

Though he dislikes Bremen’s actions, he does not judge them for it, because he recognized that it would be hypocritical. Even so, what shows that he’s grown is that he.. doesn’t want to see people harm themselves anymore. The focus here isn’t if Bremen hurt other people, which they have, but how much of themselves they’ve given up for their performance. He condemns the act, and not the people.

“If I can see that light once more... If I have to muster up the courage to reach it, I’ll gladly do it. It’s easier said than done, though; you need a lot of fearlessness for it.

And I guess you saw the same kind of light I was so desperate to see, yeah? Even if yours was a twisted creature... [...] Though, I don’t think I can tell you off like the others. At least I can see the reason behind it.”

He even explicitly mentions the light. The funny thing is, both Giovanni and Bremen tried to reach the Seed of Light, and Carmen. It’s tragically hilarious that we know Carmen is the voice the Distortions hear.

Hell, the more I think about it, the more you can just compare the Ensemble as a whole to the Outskirts Lab crew, down to Angelica’s puppet body and Carmen’s desecrated corpse.

“And I know pretty well that we have no right to devilishly pick apart each other’s way of art. I’m not very proud of mine, really...”

Netzach just.. gets it. I can’t remember atm, but I don’t think the other Patron Librarians really draw parallels like that. I’m seeing all the parallels now and I can’t unsee them ever. Bro.

His “art,” his way of protecting the light, is still violent. But he sees that perhaps it didn’t have to be, or rather shouldn’t be. I fucking love Netzach so much. His arc just means a lot to me personally, and I’d wager a lot of people who’ve struggled with mental illness would agree.

I’m not gonna get into Netzach’s floor realization here because this post is already long enough, but like, look at the specific flashback of Angela shown in Netzach’s story bits and contrast it to his arc of learning to want to live, and. Yeah.

[mikaze-discord]

Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon: 

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE 

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda: 

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt: 

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

thoughts on Bela///Donna?

What a lovely can of worms you've placed in my inbox, dear nonnie. I cannot wait to open it and lose followers (regardless of what I actually say).

Since this is, uh, a subject of some debate among RE8 fans, I will be inputting my thoughts on the idea of the ship (and the possible controversy), as opposed to doing HCs or something for it (which I recognize might be what you were asking for, despite the excessive /s).

This is all based on my playthroughs of the game, as well as what I've managed to double check on the fandom/wiki for it. I know that a lot of people who read fanfic for the game haven't actually played it, likely having been lured in by Tall Vampire Milf, and so I hope that some people will be open to a reminder of, like, canon vs fanon? I've mentioned in a previous post that there's a lot of details for RE8 that are not made clear, and I feel the need to reiterate that in this post. Capcom left a lot of stuff up to people's imaginations, or kind of just hinted at in game or in concept art.

But more importantly, regardless of what game we're talking about, regardless of the conclusion I come to (and the one you come to) at the end of this post, I want to say that I absolutely understand the need/desire to have your own perspective/take on the characters from the game, as well as their dynamics. If a ship makes you uncomfortable because you see the characters as being family members, it's totally okay. Block the ship tag, or filter it out when you look through fandom stuff, don't follow people who post for it, etc, etc.

If you think of characters as being family-family (like, not just "we got married and are now a family" but, like, "we're siblings/parent and child") and still ship them? uh. sorry, bruv, maybe think of hitting that unfollow button. No, seriously, hit that unfollow button. This blog is anti-incest, thank you very much.

The last thing I'll say before putting it under a read-more (for both length and major RE8 spoilers) is that I recognize that I might have missed something, either in game or developers talking about things on social media, and so if you read through this and go "god, J, you're such a dumbass for forgetting *critical piece of media*" or even just "okay but have you seen *small but meaningful piece of media*?" please. Just. Please. Tell me. Link me to that shit. I WANT to know if I'm wrong. I've literally avoided talking about this for as long as I could in order to TRY and make sure I have all the context I need.

With that said, let's examine what context we are given for Alcina Dimitrescu, Bela Dimitrescu, Donna Beneviento, and their relations to each other. I will be leaving my personal thoughts on Bela///Donna at the very end of this, as somewhat of a conclusion, somewhat of just a "hey, this is what you technically asked me about".

Firstly, let me begin by explaining what I consider to be the 3 tiers of "canon"

In-Game/Direct: The highest, truest tier, the definitive canon. This is everything that takes place in game, excluding certain hallucination scenes (ex: Mia was not really in House Beneviento, but we can infer some things from what Donna made Ethan hallucinate about). Things either happen, or are directly stated by characters. There's some wiggle room for dialogue, as characters can lie, but overall we, as the audience, assume we are being told the truth. At the very least, games usually eventually make it clear when a character has been dishonest. Examples of Direct Canon include the following: Ethan is infected with the mold, Lady Dimitrescu drinks blood, Heisenberg wears sunglasses, Mother Miranda can shapeshift.

Concept Art/Developer's Notes/Indirect: Mid-tier and debatable, the "we think, but we're not sure" of canon. Resident Evil: Village contains lots of concept art that the players can browse through, all of which include notes from the developers about the game, characters, environments, and story. Sometimes the notes make something "direct", but oftentimes they do not specify whether the listed idea is still canon or if it was removed during development. This tier also includes information that is implied/can be inferred from tier 1 information, but is not directly stated. Examples of Indirect Canon include the following: Donna's mother died by suicide, Moreau was going to have his lover fused to his back, Duke was originally a fifth lord, Heisenberg was going to have a twin. As you can see, not all of the concept art ideas made it into the final version of the game, so it can be hard when some information seems like it might still be true (such as the matter of Donna's parents).

Fanon/"False": Sometimes collective ideas in a fandom become so widespread that people start interpreting them as actual canon. Sometimes it gets hard to remember what's just obscure lore and what's fanon. When we get a piece of fiction as overall vague as a lot of Resident Evil: Village is, there's bound to be some confusion over time. That's one of the main reasons I waited to talk about Bela////Donna until after I had recently replayed relevant sections of the game, as I wanted to remind myself of what we're actually told. Examples of False Canon are difficult to pinpoint, but might include things like: Hufflepuffs are good at finding things? The Avengers got along for awhile and all had their own rooms in the tower? There's a number scale for the danger level of ghosts in Danny Phantom?

For this post, I will be limiting the majority of my notes to the first two levels of canon, and will do my best to mark them as such. Now... let us... begin.

Alcina Dimitrescu:

Born no later than 1914, Alcina Dimitrescu was 44 years old when she was granted the Cadou by Mother Miranda. (1st Tier: Canon. Source: A note in the castle basement from a servant is dated 1958, and mentions both Alcina and her children. Secondly, Miranda's experiment notes state that Alcina was the 181st subject, and was given the Cadou at age 44. By doing math, we can then determine the earliest Alcina could have been born.)

Alcina refers to the other Lords as her family once without any disdain (when Ethan first arrives at the castle and is caught, Alcina says "you've escaped my little brother"). In a private journal (located near where she threw the infamous vanity) she insults the other Lords, and expresses anger that she is "treated like a sister to them". She argues with Heisenberg without any hesitation, and seems honest in her hatred of him (per Maggie Robertson's wunderbar performance). (1st Tier/2nd Tier: Canon with a sprinkle of interpretation for the last line)

Alcina openly refers to Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela as her daughters, and wrote in her experiment journal that she felt instantly connected to them (as mother and daughters). (1st Tier: Canon).

Bela Dimitrescu:

Likely born in the 1930's or 1940's, in order to be an adult by 1958 (the first dated appearance of the Dimitrescu daughters). (2nd Tier: Based on inference)

Dialogue shows that all three of the daughters do love their mother, and reinforces the bond Alcina's journal mentions. (1st Tier: Canon)

We are not given any information about how Bela feels about the other Lords, or even what she knows about them. Once can assume that she shares the ideas of her mother, either because Alcina tells her things directly, or because Bela (who is eager to please her mother) picks up on them over time. (2nd Tier: Based on inference)

Donna Beneviento:

No idea when she was born. If you've read one of my recent posts, then you know that it's almost entirely a matter of 2nd and 3rd tier canon.

Of the four lords, Donna seems to have the most story within the 2nd tier, and has very, very little in the 1st tier. Duke says she's somewhat isolated, and that her "playmates" never leave the house. Miranda's notes state that Donna is mentally ill, and the gardener's diary states/implies (bit of both) that Donna has severe social anxiety. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly canon)

Supposedly, her parents committed suicide while she was still a child. This is indicated in concept art/the attached developer's notes. However, the only part that's also directly stated in game is that her parents (specifically her father) died while she was young. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly canon)

While Donna only has one voice line in the game (and it's sad), Angie talks a fair bit. Angie seems to disapprove of the other Lords, or at the very least enjoys mocking them, as well as enjoys watching them fight with each other. As Angie is connected to Donna, and Donna has some level of control over her, one can assume that the two have similar (if not the same) opinions. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly Canon)

Donna was adopted by Mother Miranda as an adult. It's unclear exactly how old Donna was, or what exactly Miranda did as her "mother", just that Donna was excited about it. (1st Tier: Canon)

Other Relevant Information:

Heisenberg refers to the other Lords as his siblings a minimum of 1 time. Similarly to Alcina, however, he openly insults them and seems to hate them. He just, you know, hates Mother Miranda the most. (1st Tier: Canon)

Mother Miranda does not actually give a shit about the four Lords, intended for them to die before the ceremony, and has been manipulating them for her own gain this entire time. Her notes and dialogue make it clear that she only cares about getting Eva back. Somehow mother of the year and worst mother ever. At the same time. (1st/2nd Tier: Mostly Canon)

It's unclear who treats Alcina "like a sister" to the other Lords. Were there cut lines of dialogue that cemented the idea of them being a "family"? Did Miranda call them a "family" as part of pretending she cared about them? I've done my best to dig around, but there's very little in game that treats them as a family of any sort.

As each Lord ruled their own section of the region, they don't have any mentions of interacting with each other outside of meetings with Mother Miranda. None of the notes for any Lord (and their relevant experiments) mention what the others are doing. In game, their environments are very separate, very well divided, though this is likely as much for gameplay as it is for story.

Conclusion:

I do not not believe there is enough in game evidence to suggest that Alcina and Donna consider themselves to be siblings. There's the possibility for a large age gap, Alcina was a fair bit older than Donna when she met Miranda, Donna is a social recluse whose closest bonds were with dead blood relatives and dolls, Alcina openly dislikes (if not hates) the other Lords, they seemingly lived very separate and distanced lives, and Mother Miranda does not enforce the idea of "family". Furthermore, the sheer contrast between how Alcina interacts with/speaks of the other Lords compared to how she interacts with/speaks of her daughters says a lot about her feelings. Even if Heisenberg takes the brunt of her anger, Alcina never once says anything remotely positive about anyone other than Miranda and her daughters.

As Alcina/Bela and Donna are not blood-relatives, the definition of what would count as "incest" does vary depending on who you ask. Personally, I do count non-blood relations as potentially incestuous. For example: Alcina "dating" one of her daughters would be incest, regardless of the fact that she's a mutated human and her daughters are weird swarms of flies.

Now, I do understand how popular the idea of the four Lords being a real, chaotic but still close family is. And as I mentioned above, it's totally valid to not like the Bela///Donna ship, whether it's because you think they're family or some other reason. I don't personally see them that way, even in my definitely-not-canon stories.

Do I personally ship Bela///Donna? Nope. Have I liked art for the ship? Admittedly yes, even if I thought some of it was, like, maiden x Bela because Donna didn't have her veil and I'm a DUMBASS who doesn't always remember to read tags. Would I ever write for it? Yeah, probably, assuming I didn't miss anything in game/that I don't eventually change my mind.

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

i saw a few posts of yours answering the common questions a lot of ppl have and its the “are tianshan a toxic couple” and i love your responses and how you say “we should take a step back to see the real picture” basically. after reading 19days twice, i’ve come to understand A LOT about our 4 boys. its that they all carry emotional baggage and trauma. and they all suffer with it through out the chapters, slowly overcoming it as the story progresses. what we have to understand as readers is that we can’t have a happy ending just yet- it’s not realistic. OX has written this story in a very clear, realistic way. with that, we have moments in the beginning of tianshans relationship where mo comes off as very annoyed or mad when tian appears. but slowly, he gets used to tian being his friend and even allows tian to see his moments of vulnerability (i.e., breaking down, explaining his child hood trauma, etc) which btw is a HUGE THING? mo literally clinging onto tian like that is a HUGE moment of vulnerability..you can even say its out of character but really its just mo opening up and allowing tian to understand him. another thing a lot of ppl assume that mo “hates” tian..which i guess is shown in the beginning moments of their first encounter but he really just struggles to accept and understand his feelings for tian. which is why he reacts the way he does sometimes when he’s flustered or nervous. (1) we can see this with the whole studs incident and how mo himself eventually came to realize he wants to wear them when HE wants. this is a huge thing again because he wants to show tian basically that he’s not wearing it for the heck of it- he’ll wear it comfortably when he wants to for HIMSELF! another thing is that moments of danger really bring out mo’s TRUE feelings for tian. (1) we can see this in the chapter special where tian pushes mo out of the way and saves him in the forest when its raining. (2) when tian sends mo a pic of his arm “bleeding” and mo LITERALLY drops everything to go to him. in these moments, mo really acts like tian is the only one that matters; he disregards everything and everyone because he cares so much about this one person. in my opinion, i do believe that mo will come to realize and accept these feelings for tian. like come on...we have gotten SO much character development. his current and past feelings for tian can be seen as him struggling to understand his feelings (trying to understand if they are feelings for a friend vs. feelings for a lover). his intimate moments with tian are always showing his frustration.

the flashbacks are coming to an end and im so sure that we’ll get to see how mo and tian dealt with being away from each other, what tian was doing the entire time he was away, etc. anyways it just makes me kinda sad when people assume that mo is heartless or that tianshan is toxic and blah blah...because like DUDE, these are real things people go through. it takes SO much courage to accept your feelings for someone. we cant just expect mo and tian to sort everything out in like 1 chapter. all of this was rambling and idek if i make sense but what do you think? do you agree/disagree? also sorry if i come off as rude it was not my intention at all T^T i really your analysis and wanted to share mine about momo with you too :D

Hello, dear anon!

Oh, please, your message wasn't rude at all! I loved reading your thoughts, thank you for taking the time to type me all this!

Your ask touches on a lot of topics I’ve talked about before, so here is a list of my previous answers that I think are relevant:

Did MGS hate HT in the beginning?

About MGS and SL’s development

Do I think Tianshan is toxic?

Do I think Tianshan is toxic vol. 2

My Tianshan “timeline”

My Tianshan “timeline” continued

Will MGS’s attitude towards HT ever change?

Will MGS’s attitude towards HT ever change, vol. 2?

You might want to check some of those out if you’re interested. But I’ll most probably end up repeating some things anyway.

““are tianshan a toxic couple” and i love your responses”

Thank you! I have to admit those were probably the hardest questions I had gotten so far. As a Tianshan OTP shipper, I understand that I’m easily biased. And as someone who often ships the problematic pairings, the whole “it’s toxic” discourse can get...tiring.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make was that I feel like often when people complain some ship/character is toxic, they erase the context of those things. I understand that context doesn't excuse any type of behavior but it explains it more often than not. To me, context is about taking that step back and seeing the bigger picture/overall development.

Also, I think “toxic” is a surprisingly subjective term and people have very different levels of tolerance for it. If someone sees Tianshan as toxic, I think their take is valid. It’s perfectly fine if the ship is too much for them. But I also like to remind people that this is fiction we are talking about. In fiction, things are often exaggerated. Also, fiction is a safe place to explore different things and enjoy whatever scratches your itch. No one is getting hurt. So, if something isn’t to your taste, that’s fine! If you want to have a discussion about those differences, awesome! Just don’t go around judging people for liking something in fiction.

“a lot of ppl assume that mo “hates” tian / he really just struggles to accept and understand his feelings for tian“

I think this has mostly to do with MGS being a very tsundere character. His first answer is always “no”, “shut up”, “go away”, etc. But deep down, he does care and doesn't actually hate as much as he lets people (mis)understand. Tsundere characters can be frustrating, and I get it if they annoy some people. But it’s important to recognize them, so you won’t let their “tsun” side fool you.

To me, a lot of MGS’s anger and aggression is also about his general distrust of people. In the beginning, he was hostile towards HT because to him, HT was ultimately the same as SL (ch. 138, 150, 155):

MGS didn't understand HT’s interest in him. He didn't trust HT’s kind of people with money and influence. He had had bad experiences with SL taking advantage of him, and he wasn't about to let HT do the same. His guard was high, and the best way to protect himself was being aggressive. (This didn't apply to HT only but everyone who tried to interact with MGS.)

A lot of that early behavior makes more sense if you take a step back and look at the overall development of Tianshan and MGS. On the surface, it easily looked like MGS hated HT in the beginning when it would be more accurate to say he hated people like HT.

You suggested that MGS is struggling to accept and understand his feelings for HT, and I would agree. I’m not sure if I would go as far as saying his feelings for HT are exactly romantic just yet, but I’m sure his relationship with HT is something that MGS can’t quite figure out. He’s not only learning to trust HT but also no doubt noticing that he might - god forbid - actually care about HT. That’s a lot of “figuring out” if you consider what HT ultimately represented to MGS in the beginning and how defensive MGS was towards everyone. 

Overall, I would say that MGS is “bothered” by HT. In a good way. He can’t really understand HT or their relationship but HT “bothers” him by being persistent and poking at topics that MGS isn’t really familiar with (for example, romance). The change in him that HT is ultimately the driving force for is “bothering” him which I think is something quite human and relatable. It’s the confusion and uncertainty that keeps bugging us all before we figure something out.

“but slowly, he gets used to tian being his friend and even allows tian to see his moments of vulnerability“

One of the biggest themes in Tianshan is definitely trust. This is very much connected to your earlier point, but I wanted to take a separate look at this. I would even go as far as saying trust is at the core of everything you’re saying.

As I said, in the beginning it looked like MGS hated HT when he, in truth, didn’t just trust him. But once again if you take a step back, you can see the overall development (ch. 130, 144, 160, 188, 282, 283, 318, 346 [the last one is translated by @1154lizz 🖤]):

MGS had learned to be suspicious of people and to believe that no one was looking out for him. No one would be on his side. No one would believe he didn't do it. No one would defend him, let alone demand justice for him. I believe a lot changed in Tianshan when MGS realized HT would be in his corner and fight for him. 

After that MGS began to gradually open up about things (SL piercing his ears, his past with SL). With that development, MGS not only let HT closer but also gave HT more control over him. He allowed HT to occupy him in ways that SL had used to abuse him: the earrings and his past. Those had been ways for SL to own and control MGS, but with HT they were about trust and protection.

Lately, it seems like MGS is allowing HT to coax his dreams and pursuing them. No matter what MGS wants to do, HT will support him. He believes in MGS. That takes trust as well because dreams can be a surprisingly vulnerable topic. Especially if you’re someone like MGS who hasn’t had that kind of support and faith for various reasons.

So yes, I would say the ever-growing trust between Tianshan has changed the relationship. MGS has gone from hostile “I don’t know what you want with me but whatever it is I won’t let you” to more positively flustered tsundere-like aggression.

“another thing is that moments of danger really bring out mo’s TRUE feelings for tian“

Yes, I definitely agree with this, too. Those moments are when MGS’s “dere” side comes out so nicely (ch. 233, 234, 255, 259, 309, 329):

With all the aggression in MGS, it’s sometimes easy to forget that he’s actually a very caring person. A lot of that is just protected by thick emotional walls because his caring side has gotten him in serious trouble before. He’s learned to harden himself in that regard, but if people are persistent enough with him they will eventually see how caring he actually is.

It’s taken some time but MGS does care about HT. And he does care about JY and ZZX. They have all wiggled their way into his heart even though it probably rarely looks like that. He curses at them and tells them to fuck off, but if it really came to something serious, he would be worried and scared for them. I think the fact that HT has deemed MGS as someone safe around whom to show his more vulnerable side is proof of how MGS treats people who are looking for shelter - both literally and figuratively.

But again, I do understand if this kind of thing doesn't appeal to some people. It can be frustrating if A’s softer feelings only come out when B is in danger or hurt. Personally, I’m living for those little nuggets of worry and affection.

“i do believe that mo will come to realize and accept these feelings for tian / we’ll get to see how mo and tian dealt with being away from each other“

I’m interested in seeing if these two thoughts of yours will eventually be combined in the comic. It seems HT will be going away, so I wonder how that will affect MGS. Will the absence make him perhaps realize his budding romantic feelings towards HT?

But overall, I do agree and believe that MGS will eventually figure his feelings out and come to accept them. Despite everything, he is the kind who can make up his mind about these things and be surprisingly confident about it. Asking HT for the earrings being a good example of this.

I really liked hearing your thoughts and agreed with your takes! Thank you for sharing them with me!

[gureishi]

Hiya!!

Dev's considers their favourite place they've visited to be Rarotonga. It was a family trip, and the best family trip they'd ever had. They're dying to go to Italy! Eventually Saeran and Dev will take an Italian class together, and together with Saeyoung they'll go visit (they love it as much as they thought they would, but being there as a family just elevates it to a whole new level).

The short version of Jinx and Dev's first meeting is this: Dev gets themself hopelessly lost and the sun sets much quicker than they'd anticipated. They're 13 and visiting a new city for the first time. Jinx is just passing through, she perches idly on a street lamp with a blown bulb to rest for a moment. Dev shouldn't have noticed Jinx, or they should've ignored her if they did. Instead they ask her to show them the way back to the hotel their family was staying at, in exchange they'd give Jinx 'what she wants'. Jinx accepts.

In the beginning of their friendship, Jinx's care is her Watching. Watching and remembering is what she's best at and it's what she values most. She learns to show affection in other ways, mimics what she's seen. She climbs into Dev's lap and playfully tugs their hair, she brings them food and gifts (... don't ask where she gets these from), she tells stories (gorey ones, she's seen a lot), and jokes (she loves puns!!). They come to be so comfortable together that they're just telepathically linked most of the time.

And yes Jinx will be your friend!!! She's been stuck on the outside looking in her whole life, please she'd absolutely adore having you as a friend. She'll want to know all about you!! She's absolutely delighted by the ways you differ from the other people she knows. Please show her your favourite places, and foods, and hobbies! She's desperate for new experiences and she wants to have them with you!! Of course, she'll bring you gifts, and food, and cuddles too if you want them. She's going to remember every single thing you tell her and cherish you deeply!!

Dev's favourite season is Spring!

They enjoy grocery shopping when they don't have to do it alone, especially if they can be doing it late at night when there's very few customers around!

And their sun sign is Pisces (I was gonna be thoughtful about it but then I got bored lol).

OH!!! So I was thinking about how I think Dev's route plays out and I happened to remember that headcanon you wrote. The one where MC calls Saeyoung during Ray's Route? I think I'm going to go with that!! I've been thinking about like, him showing up and getting caught because the idea that Saeran might be there just throws Saeyoung off his game. And then Saeran and Dev having to find a way to save him and themselves it's just skdnsks. I have so much and so little to say about this at the same time. My brain is throwing confetti and party streamers it likes this idea so much sksksls.

Okie questions!!

How does Eunji feel about needles? Like in the context of giving blood, and injections. Does Eunji read horoscopes? Oh! And what do you think Saeyoung thinks of horoscopes?? Would Eunji ever be willing to get piercings or tattoos?

They have three kids, so how do the pregnancies go? Do they panic a lot during the pregnancies? Are they super planned out or do they just let things happen? How does Saeyoung handle Eunji giving birth? (okay maybe that one's weird but uhh something something witnessing the person he loves in pain and being helpless to stop it something something)

Please remember to drink water, and eat if you haven't recently!! Be kind to yourself!!!

- i

Helloooo my friend!

I love the idea of the whole group of them going to Italy together. What are Dev's favorite things to do and see when they go new places?

Jinx loves puns!!!! Listen, Jinx is my new favorite creature. What kinds of gifts does she bring Dev?!

Jinx will give me cuddles??? Oh my god. I'm so happy I could cry. I'm so excited that she's willing to be my friend. What sort of snacks does she like?

My favorite season is spring, too! I think Eunji's is summer.

Ahhh, I always get along with pisces! I have two best friends—one is a libra and the other is a pisces.

Ohhhh, I'm honored you remember that headcanon! I love love love this idea too. I'm always into a situation where Saeran has to save Saeyoung, because it's such an important reversal of the way Saeyoung always expected things to play out. I can see Dev and Saeran bouncing off each other in really interesting ways. How do they save him? What is the reunion like??

Eunji isn't bothered by needles! She has a pretty high pain tolerance, and she's not squeamish about much of anything. She already has some piercings—at least three on each ear and her bellybutton, too—but no tattoos yet. I'm torn about this one, because I have quite a few tattoos, but I think she's less tattoo-fixated than I am. I don't think she'd get super prominent ones on her arms like I have—but I'm into the idea of her and Saeyoung getting really subtle couples tattoos. Maybe constellations on their ring fingers?

Speaking of constellations: Eunji thinks horoscopes are fun, but she doesn't take them too seriously. She's an aries (which is my moon sign—I'm a gemini sun, and I think the differences between Eunji and me are summed up pretty effectively by our different sun signs). She'll read them sometimes, and they amuse her, but she doesn't set much store by them. Saeyoung cares a lot more about the stars themselves than he cares about horoscopes. He takes being a gemini seriously, because it's a link between him and Saeran—but beyond that, he doesn't think the heavens define who you are. He believes in God, and he loves science—he's interested in understanding the universe, but he doesn't think there's a straightforward answer to anything.

Their first child is a daughter. Her name is Seo-ah, and she's as planned as the two of them are capable of planning. They're sort of half-trying when Eunji gets pregnant the first time—and she's unsurprised, but he's totally caught off guard.

Saeyoung never let himself dream about having a family of his own. Not till he met her.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Saeyoung is a very anxious almost-father. He buys way too much stuff and builds like twelve different cribs—but when she's giving birth, he's amazing. She's always been the one who's calm in a crisis, but he knows how to pull it together when she's in pain. He doesn't cry till after Seo-ah opens her eyes.

Their sons are twins, and they are somewhat more planned. Both of them want a second child—but neither is totally prepared to have two more at once. Unlike fraternal twins, identical twins do not run in families, and Eunji and Saeyoung are every bit as likely (or unlikely) to have twins as anyone else.

And yet: the world works in mysterious ways.

Saeyoung is just getting accustomed to being a father when he has to wrap his head around parenting kids who will be—in certain ways—more like himself and his brother. It terrifies him.

As often happens with twins, Jinwoo and Jinho are born prematurely. It's a very difficult birth, and they're in the ICU for at least a week afterwards. Saeyoung handles this one less well. It's a higher risk all around, and he can't stop himself from panicking: there are far too many possible bad outcomes, and it's very difficult for him to see a happy ending when everything seems like it's falling apart.

The world doesn't end, though—and later, he's able to hold onto Eunji while they peek through the glass at their too-tiny babies. They're breathing.

They're both born with red hair.

[sailor-muno]

Hi and welcome to my new series called: Mixing D&D with the Black Clover Universe

In this series I will be taking elements, mechanics, and other random things that I like from D&D and figure out how these things could work/be implemented into the Black Clover world. With that being said please add on your own thoughts and ideas to this topic because I want more stuff to think about. Also do not be afraid to suggest a D&D concept to me because it’s all valid here. With that being said let’s get started!

The topic: Classes - The Bard

“Words and music are not just vibrations of air, but vocalizations with power all their own....They say that the multiverse was spoken into existence, that the words of the gods gave it shape, and that echoes of these primordial Words of Creation still resound throughout the cosmos.” - D&D Players Handbook

Section 1: What is a bard?

Typically, we think of bards as magical musicians, but that’s only a narrow wedge of what a bard can be. Bards are experts, performers, and craftsmen, worldly travelers who can win the day with a smile and a careful selection of words where bladed steel cannot. Their spells lean toward charms and illusions rather than blatantly destructive spells. With a wide-range of knowledge in many subjects and a natural aptitude that lets them do almost anything well, Bards become masters of the talents they set their minds to perfecting, from musical performance to esoteric knowledge.

However, not every minstrel singing in a tavern or jester cavorting in a royal court is a bard. Discovering the magic hidden in music requires hard study and some measure of natural talent that most troubadours and jongleurs lack. It can be hard to spot the difference between these performers and true bards, though. A bard's life is spent wandering across the land gathering lore, telling stories, and living on the gratitude of audiences, much like any other entertainer. But a depth of knowledge, a level of musical skill, and a touch of magic set bards apart from their fellows.

Only rarely do bards settle in one place for long, and their natural desire to travel—to find new tales to tell, new skills to learn, and new discoveries beyond the horizon—makes an adventuring career a natural calling. Every adventure is an opportunity to learn, practice a variety of skills, enter long-forgotten tombs, discover lost works of magic, decipher old tomes, travel to strange places, or encounter exotic creatures. Bards love to accompany heroes to witness their deeds firsthand. A bard who can tell an awe-inspiring story from personal experience earns renown among other bards. Indeed, after telling so many stories about heroes accomplishing mighty deeds, many bards take these themes to heart and assume heroic roles themselves.

Cassiea - OlchaS

The Bard class takes inspiration from the Norse skald, the warrior-poets and historians of Scandinavia; the Celtic bard, honored storytellers who reportedly followed heroes into battle to retell their deeds and also acted as neutral diplomats; and the southern European minstrel, musicians who entertained royalty.

In medieval Ireland, the bard was a highly respected profession of poets, storytellers and historians. Bards trained for many years, and held the important role of learning and retelling history in memorable poetic form, in a time before reading and writing were commonplace. By some reports, the bards held the highest social caste in society, and it was taboo to refuse them any request; one even asked for the king's brooch, who was forced to comply, though the brooch was later returned.

When it comes to Bards in Black Clover I would see them as pretty much the same thing. Historians who have a passion for stories and knowledge. They’re the documenters of all knowledge that isn’t related to spellcasting (think grimoires, making magic items, anything Julius would be interested in, etc.). This means that they are in charge of taking care of documenting things like the history of the kingdom, popular folktales and songs, news articles and basically anything else that one would consider to be a historical resource. They are the lore keepers of the kingdom and as such they often have a large presence all about the Clover Kingdom and can be found in all social class districts.

“Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it.” - Oscar Wilde

Section 2: Magic and the Bard’s College

When it comes to black clover and it’s magic system, we all know that the only way to cast spells of significant power is with a grimoire. This will never change and I will not change it within the context of adding classes to the world. However, with that being said I still believe that while we can’t change the core foundation of how a spell is learned and stored, we can change what the caster uses their magic for. When we think about classes in this context all of a sudden we no longer see them as a different way of casting magic but instead we see it more like a school. How we use our magic in this world is dependent upon our education, like fine-tuning a weapon a class takes your sword and sharpens it m into a fine point.

To go along those lines I now must address The issue of bards only being able to cast their magic with music. In the world of black clover instead believe that bards can cast magic in any way they see fit, as long as they are using their magic in an artistic way. This could be painting, cooking, singing, dancing, or any other artistic medium.  when we put the class under these definitions there are actually quite a few characters in the show that could be considered Bards. Some of these characters include but are not limited to:

Kahono

Kiato

Puli Angel

Rill Boismortier

Marx Francois

Charmy Pappitson

Vanessa Enoteca

Kirsche Vermillion

Catherine

Samantha Kravitz

Elvira Aguirre

Damnatio Kira

David Swallow

Langris Vaude

Dorothy Unsworth

Dominante Code

 these are just a few of the characters that I believe are bards. something interesting to know about this list though is that a lot of the characters on this list or female, more specifically they’re witches. well I cannot give a solid explanation for why this is I can give my own theory on it.

Witches have an innate ability forecasting artistic spells. Based off of what we’ve seen from most of the witches in the show a lot of their magic is based around the idea of Creation or illusion magic. With Elvira and Samantha both having a form of illusion magic that manipulates sound and sight. I like to think of their magic being like the Minor Illusion spell in D&D. Vanessa having threat magic and using it to make dolls and sew clothes is another bard like trait that helps fit this theory.

When it comes to bards in this world and their magic we often find that their magic in it of itself is very showy and performance like. While any magic can be interesting to see some mages are just gifted or taught how to use their magic in a way that is particularly showy or dramatic. For those who are not gifted with artistic magic, and struggle to teach themselves how to use their magic in a creative way there has to be a place where they can go to learn how. This is why we have the Bard’s College.

“What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul” - Joseph Addison

Section 3: The Bard’s College

The way of the bard is a gregarious one. Collecting songs and stories and sharing them with each other in an effort to spread knowledge. It is for this reason that the bards college was made, it is a place for bards to come together and share their finding and store them somewhere they can be taught to future generations. It also serves as a place of learning, teaching its students various mediums of art along with how to properly preserve and document history and record the world around them. While they may not be magical scholars, they certainly are the clover kingdoms finest anthropologists and non-magical historians to date. The college is also home to the biggest Historical Archives in the Clover Kingdom. These archives are treated very much like the Vatican Library and will be explored in the next section.

Now in D&D there are 8 different colleges a bard can attend (including the new Unearthed Arcana college because it’s cool): The College of Creation, The College of Eloquence, The College of Glamour, The College of Lore, The Collage of Spirits (UA), The College of Swords, The College of Valor, and The College of Whispers. Rather than putting all 7 college into the Black Clover Universe I have decided to take these 8 colleges and merge them together to make one college with 8 different “degree plans” one can take. This section will provide you with a generalized overviewed of each of the eight schools. If you wish to look more in depth at either of the colleges from a more mechanical viewpoint rather than a lore point I have provided links to each of the different colleges above.

Bard of Creation

Bards believe the cosmos is a work of art - the creation of the first dragons and gods. That creative work included harmonies that continue to resound through existence today, a power known as the Song of Creation. The Bards of Creation draw on that primeval song through their art as they try to spread the Song of Creation and its meaning to all life on the planet. Usually Bards in this Path either have a love for their art or an already artistic magic such as voice or painting magic. This path is one of the most difficult routes for a non-artistic mage to take on, but it isn’t impossible.

While studying under this practice most mages learn how to take non-magical items and infuse them with Mana to serve as a arcane focus for their spells. Taking their magic and concentrating it into a fine point that is easier to control and direct (think like Noelle and her wand.) along with this the Bards of Creation also put a heavy focus on Creation spells, helping their casters hone and fine tune their spells to perfection. Most Bards of Creation go on to either work in the noble realm as scribes for the nobility or become performers in small towns, collecting villagers stories and immortalizing them through their craft.

Some Characters that I believe are Bards of Craation would be:

Rill Boismortier

Dominante Code

Telian Springbreeze - College of Creation

Bard of Eloquence

Bards of Eloquence master the art of oratory. Persuasion is regarded as a high art, and a well-reasoned, well-spoken argument often proves more persuasive than facts. These bards wield a blend of logic and theatrical wordplay, winning over skeptics and detractors with logical arguments and plucking at heartstrings to appeal to the emotions of audiences.

Bards of the Spoken word most people in this group tend to be Debaters. Always looking to be the winner of an argument these bards are almost unparalleled when it comes to knowing what to say and when. Spending their time studying vocabulary and reading they learn to retain lots of memory and also learn how to regurgitate it properly for any situation. Most bards of this type often go on to become politicians or work for the Magic Parliament as a lawmaker and negotiator. They also end up becoming Royal Advisors in order to help with lawmaking.

Some Characters that I believe are Bards of Eloquence are:

Damnatio Kira

Marx Francois

Valorant Rose - College of Eloquence

Bard of Glamour

The Bards of Glamour are regarded with a mixture of awe and fear. Their performances are the stuff of legend. These bards are so eloquent that a speech or dance that one of them performs can cause captors to release the bard unharmed and can lull a furious dragon into complacency. The same magic that allows them to quell beasts can also bend minds. Bards of this college instead use this power to gladden the downtrodden and undermine oppressors. The can also use their magic to inspire their allies and keep them going through the worst of times.

Often times bards in this school are taught how to use their magic to captivate people and serve as support characters in a battle. Being able to draw on their mana as a source to take their art and use it as a method of passing their spell buffs to their allies these bards often times are found as support roles in their communities. A majority of them finish their training and then apply to join the magic knights, they’re often highly sought after to serve as combat support and occasionally as healers (though this is less common) .

Some Characters that I believe are Bards of Glamour are:

Kirsche Vermillion

Charmy Pappitson

Antigone LaRue - College of Glamour

Bard of Lore

Bards of Lore know something about most things, collecting bits of knowledge from sources as diverse as scholarly tomes and peasant tales. Whether singing folk ballads in taverns or collecting the stories of people at the old folks home, these bards use their gifts to hold audiences spellbound. When the applause dies down, the audience members might find themselves questioning everything they held to be true, from their faith in the priesthood of the local temple to their loyalty to the king.

The loyalty of these bards lies in the pursuit of beauty and truth, not in fealty to a monarch or following the tenets of a deity. The Bards of Lore are the protectors of the archives, serving as it’s curators and guardians. As this is such, a majority of the Bards of Lore prefer to stay with the archives and study rather than leave out for adventure. However some bards do go out and these aren’t the ones that spend their time looking for stories to add to the vast collection of tales in the archive already.

Some characters that I believe to be Bards of Lore are:

Samantha Kravitz

Elvira Aguirre

Bonezo the Undead - College of Lore

Bard of Spirits

Stories of the past are powerful; they hold lessons of history, philosophy, and magic. Bards of Spirits seek the stories of those from beyond the material plane. Using seances and rituals, they reach out to hear their stories, but the bards have no control over what story they find. These bards are closely tied to otherworldly powers often being able to tap into the astral plane (dream dimension) and the threads of fate themselves. Some speak to the dead while others become oracles and masters of fate.

Bards in this school often end up training themselves to use their magic see into the other planes of reality. All bards in this college need to have a gift for the sight in order to join because their magic needs to be tied to the planes. Here they learn how to use their magic safely and correctly so as to avoid any dangers that come from speaking with things outside of the material plane. Most of these bards go on to become oracles or fates. Traveling the countryside easing the pain of lost souls and misguided individuals.

Some characters that I believe to be Bards of Spirits are:

Dorothy Unsworth

Vanessa Enoteca

Tristan - College of Spirits

Bard of Swords

Bards of Swords are called blades, and they entertain through daring feats of weapon prowess. Their talent with weapons inspires many blades to lead double lives. One blade might use a circus troupe as cover for nefarious deeds such as assassination, robbery, and blackmail. Other blades strike at the wicked, bringing justice to bear against the cruel and powerful.

Blades who abandon their lives as entertainers have often run into trouble that makes maintaining their secret activities impossible. A blade caught engaging in vigilante justice is too great a liability for most troupes. With their weapon skills and magic, these blades either take up work as performers or will join the magic knights in order to take their two lives and finally merge them together. Seen as skilled combatants and magic users these bards are not a force to be reckoned with.

Some characters that I believe to be Bards of Swords are:

Kiato

David Swallow

Sierra - College of Swords

Bard of Valor

Bards of Valor are daring skalds whose tales keep alive the memory of the great heroes of the past, and thereby inspire a new generation of heroes. These bards gather in mead halls or around great bonfires to sing the deeds of the mighty, both past and present. They travel the land to witness great events firsthand and to ensure that the memory of those events doesn't pass from the world. With their songs, they inspire others to reach the same heights of accomplishment as the heroes of old.

These bards are taught the stories of dead heroes and in turn a lot of them end up going on to write music about them or use their stories as inspiration for their magic. Often using their knowledge to help inspire their friends in combat and bring hope in bleak battlefields. A majority of the Bards of Valor go on to join the magic knights in hopes of finding their own hero to write and tell stories about. Seeing this as their shot at becoming Chaucer or Geoffrey of the world (Chaucer wrote A Knights Tale and Geoffrey wrote the stories of King Arthur)

Some characters that I believe to be Bards of Valor are:

Kahono

Puli Angel

Hype - College of Valor

Bard of Whispers

Most folk are happy to welcome a bard into their midst. Bards of Whispers use this to their advantage. They appear to be like any other bard, sharing news, singing songs, and telling tales to the audiences they gather. In truth, the College of Whispers teaches its students that they are wolves among sheep. These bards use their knowledge and magic to uncover secrets and turn them against others through extortion and threats in order to seek out justice.

Many other bards hate the Bards of Whispers, viewing it as a parasite that uses the bards’ reputation to acquire wealth and power. For this reason, these bards rarely reveal their true nature unless they must. They typically claim to follow some other school, or keep their true nature secret in order to better infiltrate and exploit royal courts and other settings of power. However they can also use their powers for good, often times bards of this school can use their power to help bring justice and equality to a flawed system or to bring justice to those the law cannot touch.

Some characters that I believe to be Bards of Whisper are:

Catherine

Langris Vaude

Ichiro - College of Whispers

“Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can’t remember who we are or why we’re here.” - Sue Monk Kidd

Section 4: The Archives

Miles upon Miles of shelves full of nothing but books and thousands of feet dedicated to this one library located deep below the college. Centuries worth of national history folklore legends no one‘s heard hundreds of years live buried beneath the dirt and cobwebs of this dank and mystic labyrinth of books. These are in the royal Archives. most people don’t even know this place exist however, the bards and nobles of the kingdom are very aware of its existence... and of it’s secrecy.

Now you may be thinking “Hey this sounds just like the Vatican library“ but unlike the Vatican library, the archives are open to anyone wishing to seek knowledge. The only reason a lot of people don’t know about it is because no one really cares to ask. If we’re being real here, a majority of the books in that archive are really just diaries written by old people that are really hard to read because they’re either in a different language or they just have poor spelling because people back then were illiterate. However some of the stuff within the walls of the archive it’s rather interesting. Ancient maps leading to long-lost treasures, legends that have faded and been forgotten with time, stories of war love and loss.

It is within these walls that we find that only the country‘s history but it’s very soul. We find the story of our people hidden deep within these tombs of books. Well it is very rare for somebody that isn’t a barred to visit the archives if one is really out seeking knowledge the archive is open to them. I would like to believe that Gauche and Gordon have both visited the library at least once right after the seabed temple arc. 

The grounds of the archives are guarded heavily by the bards of the college. Not only are they guarded but they are also highly protective of the knowledge there. One of the worst things that could possibly happen is the destruction of the archives. It would be on the same level as the burning of the library of Alexandria. It is for this reason that anyone wishing to enter the archives must first pass a test of character. If you are perceived as a threat you will be turned away from the archives but not banned, nobody should ever be denied access to knowledge.

“A society that has no respect, no regard for its bards, its historians, its storytellers, is a society in steep decline, a society that has lost its very soul and my never find its way.” - Laurence Overmire

Section 5: Conclusion

I’ll keep this section short and sweet because it’s been a long read and I just wanna give my thoughts. Honestly I thought that Rill and Kahono had such a unique style of magic that it almost felt like a crime to give us a taste of bard magic without making it something that was common. Plus I felt the clover kingdom needed historians to archive their history so I felt that this was a fun thing to put together to solve both problems!! I hope you enjoyed it! Please feel free to add your own thoughts and contributions to this post because I really wanna hear them!

[wallwriterstuff]

Hi!What do you think about Demetri/Alec/Felix dating a hybrid?I mean, I had this idea since i read the last book but what if they found their mate when they went to check up on Joham?And one of his daughters is a redhead with unreal green eyes and shes even more beautiful than Heidi or Rosalie? Hybrids are more beautiful than vampires they say.Maybe has a gift too?I think this is an idea the entire fandom went over and i think its cool so if you want to, could u write some headcanons about it?

Hi hey hello! I definitely did enjoy writing these headcanons. Sorry they took a wee while but I hope you like! 

Alec: He will be aged up to the movie version in this since hybrids fully mature to look like adults 😊

This boy is insatiably curious

You fascinate him

You’ve been alive a while but your experience is so different to his, you’ve lived so differently under your father’s influence

Expect long nights telling him every detail of your existence, what it was like to grow up so fast with your sisters, with Joham, knowing your brother only through notes and the occasional visit

He has learned by now that you come as a package deal with your sisters, but this is something he understands. As he and Jane shared a womb, so shall they share a life

Constantly tries to get you to eat human food because oh my god you can eat it without gagging?             +  “And this?”                          “Alec I can eat human food, it just tastes like cardboard.”                    “Even this?”

The first time you sleep in his presence he has this awestruck expression. He’s not watched anyone sleep in all the time he’s been immortal and doesn’t remember what it was like to sleep himself. All those faces you make as you dream send his mind absolutely reeling because what are you thinking about? What do you dream of? Is it bizarre in your head? What he wouldn’t give to catch a mere glimpse of your dreams…

Jane is…difficult. She wants to like you, really she does, but the only other hybrid she knows belongs to the Cullen’s and that whole fiasco is a sore spot as a Volturi defeat in her mind (and no one defeats her coven)

The first time you get a small scrape Alec FreAkS out because oh god you’re bleeding the whole room is going to be after your sweet sweet blood and…and it’s too sweet…you, you really don’t smell all that appealing like a regular human, hell, Santiago’s not even noticed? What?

Always grumbles and complains your too hot when you cuddle (you’re a solid 40°C after all) but secretly loves your warmth. He’s been frozen for centuries and you’re his very own hot water bottle          + Does get a wee bit annoyed when you make him spoon with you later into the relationship because vampires aren’t be able to supposed to sweat but he SWEARS venom is leaking from every pore in his body because you make the bed an oven

15/10 from this boy, adores having a hybrid mate, you are the perfect snuggle buddy for him and just the right amount of human to make him feel like he’s doing a good job protecting you (even though you’re a hybrid and almost as strong as he is, it’s an old timey thing and he died a pubescent boy, let him feel like a man please)

Demetri:

Honestly? He forgets half of the time

“Absolutely not, I will not risk you coming hunting with me!”                “I need to hunt and I will not be letting you stop me, bloodhound.”

When they had first gone to find Joham Demetri had been more than curious, the differences in his mind between vampire and hybrid stark considering they’d almost caused a war with the Cullen’s

He replayed the trial over and over in his mind as he followed the strangely vibrant tenor straight to…his mate?

Excuse you?

It swings one way or the other for the initial getting to know period, either he’s treating your fragile ‘human’ self like glass or your ‘vampire’ self is being thrown against the nearest wall because the man has urges and you’re more than happy to satisfy them

You were mostly raised by your sister, living the nomadic life of a vampire with visits to your father now and then when he wanted to check on your development, so you pair spend long hours discussing all the places you’ve been and things you have seen                    + Since Demetri is far older he has lots more stories to tell so these evenings eventually turn into him telling stories while you end up in a variety of situations. Sometimes he’s holding you to him in bed while he waits for you to fall asleep, other times he lights the fire and you sit curled up together on the sofa before it. 

Your favourite Storytime setting by far is the window seat, where you can lean back against his chest and be blanketed by the diamonds his skin reflects in the sunset

You don’t really like human food all that much, but in an effort to woo you he spent all day watching videos and messing up recipes until he had perfected (if you count perfected as collapsing in on itself in places and a little bit raw in the middle) a chocolate cake to welcome you to Volterra for the first time

There was a little flour on his jaw still when he presented it to you and his eyes were all big

He had this smug little smile too

Too smug considering the state of the cake

You’ve been treated to baked goods ever since and Demetri has gotten rather good at his new hobby

110% watches you sleep but not for nefarious reasons. You talk in your sleep and Demetri has compiled a secret list of things you say for his eyes only            + His favourite so far is “Felix no, put that poor duck down.”                     + You didn’t remember where that had come from so it remains without context, and Demetri has made a myriad of stories each more outlandish than the next as to where that quote came from

Loves to lay his head on your chest and listen to your fast, fluttering heartbeat, you get bonus points if you play with his hair

Doesn’t even bother tracking you by tenor anymore, you radiate heat, he knows when you’re near because he gets warmer

You’re rather self-concious that you live among the Volturi without being gifted             + Demetri is always quick to remind you that your very nature is the most extraordinary gift in itself

Overall a very good match for a hybrid, you’re never bugged by endless questions like your sister is with Alec but you do need to remind him sometimes of your dual-species label, you need blood as much as you need sleep

Felix:

This character follows a specific idea of appearance stated in the request

Felix absolutely adores you, your perfect for him in every way!

Someone small and durable? Sign him up!

Your attitude is as fiery as your hair, which is a good thing because Felix needs someone as stubborn as he is

His head is as thick as his arms

The minute he sees you he’s completely under your spell which surprises only those closest to him – the mans a giant teddy bear as you now well know

Felix takes things nice and slow, he’s never been a fan of rushing into things when it comes to romance, and is very much intro traditional ways of wooing you                  + The first thing you receive is a simple letter, elegantly written in a large spidery hand. You were already smitten with the beefy man by the last line, the flowers that arrived a week later really weren’t necessary but very much appreciated

Your hybrid nature is perfect to him because for once, his height difference with you doesn’t seem so scary. He can’t help being big, but at least with your durability he doesn’t have to worry about crushing you

Felix is considered a grunt, muscle and little else, but he’s shared with you his passion for reading and poetry – you never tire of the poems he creates for you

He’s a very proud man so expect to be shown off to all the Guard and basically everyone you ever meet               + “Enough of your chatter! You know your crime, now face your punishment!”                                                           “ I wouldn’t test my mate if I were you.”                                               “Are you really going to reveal such a tactical weakness? They could target her.”                                                           “…I wouldn’t test this extremely beautiful and talented woman I am in no way connected to if I were you.”                    “Smooth Felix, really smooth.”

Once you feel comfortable with Felix, you show him your gift and its extraordinary effects – his eyes widen at the vivid, ethereal shade of green your eyes turn as you lift a hand and coax all the flora in the room towards you, you can expect him to never shut up about it once he knows               + “Can you make another one?”                                                           “Not unless I hunt first.”                                                        “And then you can make me another flower?”

Felix, it turns out, is a giant goofball when he’s at home. You’re so used to seeing the tense guardsmen it is a complete shock to you when you start living with him in Volterra and see how carefree he is within the walls of his own home

You try not to condone his prank war with Demetri since they both get in trouble for it but you can’t resist helping out from time to time…you can tie off water balloons quicker than he can so you make a good accomplice

Felix doesn’t really touch you in public but he does steal kisses to assert his claim on you. He’ll kiss your forehead whenever he enters or exits a room you’re in, presses kisses to your cheek when you pass each other in the corridor

He reserves a kiss on the lips of any kind for when he’s leaving for a while if in public, like if he’s preparing for a mission with the guard for example, but when you’re alone expect to constantly be coddled by him. He wraps himself around you like a blanket and Will. Not. Let. Go!

[demoisverysexy]

An Open Letter to the Person who Blocked Me for Being Mormon

For context:

If you’re reading this, I hope it finds you well.

This letter is mostly for me, so I can get my feelings out. I’ve already talked about this with a few of my friends, and I’m feeling better than I was than when you blocked me. I’m still upset. Mostly because of general trends I see on tumblr of hatred for Mormons. A lot of it comes from ignorance and misunderstanding. Some of it comes from a place of genuine hurt that can’t go unaddressed. I don’t want to be dismissive of those who have faced trauma at the hands of my church. I am one of those people, and I know how deeply pain associated with my church can be. After our interaction, I felt that talking about it would help me process this.

Before I go on, I must be clear that this is not an attempt to get you to unblock me. As nice as it would be to be able to see your blog again – you’re very witty, and I enjoy your content! – I can live without it. This is more a response to the trend on tumblr specifically of hatred against Mormons, and assuming that they’re all bad people who are complicit in every single bad thing that the church does. You just happened to force me to be a little introspective about my church and my relation to it. Thank you for that.

First, however, I would like to clear up some misconceptions:

Your initial joke that prompted me to tell you I was a Mormon was a joke about Mormons and polygamy. The largest two organizations that can be classified as “Mormon,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the Community of Christ (which incidentally allows for gay marriage and has female clergy, though I am of the LDS sect), both disavow polygamy. There are other, smaller offshoot Mormon groups who do still practice this, which is where horror stories of polygamists marrying teenagers arise. These people are also Mormons, though I wish they weren’t, in the same way that problematic Christian groups are Christian, though many Christians wish they weren’t.

I do recognize that mainstream Mormonism has been labeled as a cult by many people, though the reasons people provide generally don’t hold up. Often the proof that people provide of my church’s cult-like nature is to take note of corruption that can be found in almost every church. These issues – such as racism, homophobia, and misogyny, to name a few – while real and important to address do not a cult make. Sometimes the proof is to point towards practices that are demonized in my church, but are practiced in other religions with no comment, or even celebration. Other times people will point to their own experiences with toxic church congregations, and while those issues are very real, they are by no means universal. My experience growing up Mormon was a lucky one in many ways. I personally don’t think that most people who study my church from an academic vantage point would call it a cult. I would consult them on this matter. After all, someone in a cult is rather hard-pressed to be able to tell whether they are in one or not.

Another point often levied against Mormonism is how it leaves its queer members with religious trauma due to its homophobic teachings. I understand this well. I have experienced deep religious trauma associated with my political stances in favor of LGBTQ+ rights (though that wasn’t the whole story). I won’t go into detail about this right now, but suffice it to say, I had a very traumatic time on my mission that led me to a very dark place, and ended with me contemplating choices I would never be able to take back. I’m fine now of course, but I carry those memories with me.

So why would I stay despite all this? Is it because I’m brainwashed? You would have to ask a psychologist about that, but I would say probably not. I knew, and know now, that the ways I was being treated were unfair and wrong. I don’t have time to go point by point to address every grievance I or anyone else has with my church and explain my position on it, as much as I would like to clear the air once and for all on this topic so there is no misunderstanding. Here’s the reasoning that has kept me here so far:

I think that every person of faith must, at some point, deal with the problematic aspects of their church’s history and doctrine. This comes with the territory. Whether it be disturbing stories in scripture, imperialist tendencies, doctrines that chafe against us, or problematic leaders, no person of faith is exempt from wrestling with the history that accompanies their faith. I have studied my church’s history in depth. Many of the horror stories I heard were provably false. Many were true. Where does that leave me?

I believe that God is bigger and better than us. We make terrible, awful mistakes all the time. But I don’t think that makes God less willing to work with us. If anything, I think it means he wants to help us more. He wants to help us move past our histories and become better. My church has a long way to go in this regard. For too long we have been silent when it mattered, and people have been wounded by our silence. Or even the words we have said out loud! If you look at my Mormonism tag on my blog, you will see some examples of what I am talking about. I have been wounded by the things my church has said and not said. It hurts awfully, and I ache for those who have been wounded more deeply than I.

But at the same time, I cannot deny the healing my faith has brought me. Whatever problems my church has – and it has many, deep and pressing issues – it is because of my faith that I am the person I am today. I can draw a straight line from my religion to the positions I hold today. Because I am a Mormon, I became a Marxist. Because I am a Mormon, I became nonbinary. Because I am a Mormon, I became a leftist. I cannot ignore that my religion, flawed as it may be, has led me to where I stand now. I am at the intersection of the hurt and healing the church offers. It is a difficult line to walk. But I hope that in walking it, I can bring healing and love to those who hurt in the ways I do. To let them know that they are not alone, and that they have a friend who can help them wherever they choose to go.

Yes I am queer. Yes I am a Mormon. I am here because I am trying to fix things. If at some point in the future I realize that I cannot change things, perhaps I will leave. I hope it does not come to that. And things are changing. They have changed before, and they can change now. I am confident that my God is willing to lead my church where it needs to go. I hope I can help speed things along. We shall see.

But spreading unequivocal hatred and disdain for Mormons does not help those of us who are Mormon who are trying to fix things. Yes, those who have left Mormonism due to trauma need a safe place to be away from that, and acknowledging the church’s many faults can be helpful to those people. I myself have criticized my church quite vocally. But refusing to listen to the stories of those of us who choose to stay, telling others that we are evil or stupid or what have you, is also quite traumatic to us. We are people too, with thoughts and feelings. It is easy to dismiss us out of hand if you assume we aren’t.

I try to be open about my religion and political stances on my tumblr. See for yourself: It’s a mix of Mormonism, LGBTQ+ activism, Marxism, and pretty much every other leftist political position you can find. Along with all the furry stuff, of course. But despite all this, I am still terrified every time someone follows me to tell them I am Mormon. More than I am to tell them that I’m queer. Tumblr is not representative of how things work in the “real world,” of course, but I have received hatred for being a Mormon there as well. And it’s mostly other Christians. So on the one hand I’m hated by LGBTQ+ folks, on the other hand I’m hated by my church for being queer, and on the third hand (as apparently I have three hands), I am hated by other Christians. I do not face hatred to the same degree from other Christians. I saw it most on my mission. But still, it exists.

(Incidentally, Evangelicals, who you seem to have problems with, and perhaps rightly so, though I have not done a study of the matter myself, largely despise Mormons, from what I have heard. Something to consider.)

I want allies. I want help. I want understanding. If I am to push back against bigotry in my church, I need your help. I need everyone’s help. Fighting bigotry wherever we see it is a worthy pursuit, I think. And if we can succeed, we can make the world a better, safer happier place. I want to fight off the ghosts that haunt my church. You don’t have to fight them with me, but I would appreciate it if I could have your support. It would make my job much easier.

We aren’t enemies. At least, I don’t think you’re my enemy. We both have been hurt by homophobia and bigotry. We live in a capitalist hellscape where police brutality and racism are on the rise. Fascism is looming over the political backdrop, along with the ongoing threat of ecological disaster. I think we would be better off helping each other than going after each other. I ask that you please listen to us when we say you are hurting us. The Mormons you blocked knowingly followed you, an openly queer person who calls out racism and bigotry and pedophilia. Yet you assume we are in favor of those things. Someone can at once be part of an institution while recognizing it’s flaws. (Aren’t we both Americans? Why not move if we hate it so much?) And perhaps we have used the “No true Scotsman” fallacy to justify why we stay. I don’t believe I have. I don’t feel I need to.

I hope that you consider what I’ve said here. I hope we can work together. And I hope that no matter what, you find peace wherever you end up.

Yours truly,

Demo Argenti