#please feel free to come to my ask and ask about my takes on jamie !! i'd love to talk about him !!!

[tartt9]

good morning friends !! my webhooks are how you say,,, fucked,,, so if i miss a reply or anything, please feel free to let me know !!!

[luveline]

hi honey bun! i was just having a thought about someone coming home after a night out, a little drunk and sleepy, just crawling into bed with the reader? n maybe trying not to wake her w cuddling and such? 🥺 im so indecisive and couldn’t choose between peter or one/poly marauders, but please also feel free to disregard if it’s not the one for you! kisses xx

Sirius tries to tell them to be quiet, but James is so drunk he’s going to wake up amnesiac and Remus isn’t far behind him. Sirius has a kinder buzz, opening and then closing the door for his idiots begrudgingly. “Shush. You’ll wake her.” 

“She should be awake I miss her so much I’m gonna throw up,” James says, all in one breath. 

“That might be the Guinness,” Remus laughs. His cheeks have gone pink. Sirius thinks it’s the cutest Remus has ever looked, and he gives him an affectionate smile that’s returned tenfold. 

“Be quiet,” Sirius says. A yawn comes suddenly. “Go sit down and have some toast or something.” 

“I definitely will throw up then,” James groans, bending over in the middle of the hallway. 

Remus, despite being similarly belligerent, starts doting on him. “You okay?” he asks, bending down with a similar sigh of pain. “Come on. I’ll make you a– a glass of water.” 

Sirius has spent the night with them, so he loves them, but he misses you too much to stay. He chucks his shoes vaguely in the direction of the shelf and starts up stairs. The walls move under his hand and the bedroom door proves hard to open, but he sees you and forgets that he’s drunk. You’re laying on your side curled into a pillow, arm curled around, one leg sticking out of the quilt. 

Sirius pulls the blanket back gently, remembers he’s wearing jeans, changes out of the jeans, and slides into bed in front of you. He slowly, slowly, pulls the pillow from your arms, wrapping his arm under yours and behind your back, the other just shy of your face. Beautiful girl, he thinks, a little woozy from having suddenly changed directions. 

You mumble and hug him weakly, fingertips tickling his side. 

“For fuck’s sake!” James says somewhere downstairs. “What is this?” 

“Water, Jamie,” Remus says, quieter. “You can’t have anything else, don’t be–” A sound and a laugh. “No, kissing me won’t change my mind.” More laughing. 

Sirius tugs your hand up to smile into your palm. 

“Home?” you mumble. 

“Mm,” he hums, eyes closed and heavy but his arm awake behind your back, pulling you closer to his front. “I told them to be quiet… didn’t listen.”

“You…” you’re still stuck in the throes of sleep, and forget you’re talking. Sirius laughs a huff and you blink. “Okay?” 

“Yeah. Everything was okay. Next time I’ll stay home with you,” he promises, rubbing his nose into your cheek. 

“I liked being alone for a bit, but… missed you in the end.” 

Footsteps start up the stairs. “Sorry for waking you up,” Sirius says. 

“S’okay. Make them be nice to me.” 

That’s easy. As the door begins to open, Sirius pulls you right into his chest, as close as you can possibly be, and shushes you gently. Remus’ laughing swiftly ends, and James says, “Oh no, what’s wrong?” in his softest tone. 

James climbs over the bed still in his shoes. Remus grabs him before they can touch the sheets and takes them off, and then James crawls up behind you and hugs you, Sirius’ arms included. “Hi… my angel.” 

You ignore him with a disgruntled whine. 

“Sorry we were so loud.” 

You whine again. 

“Do you want Remus instead?” 

“No. I don’t not want Remus,” you clarify. “I’m not mad at you. Stay here.” 

Remus falls rather drunkenly in behind Sirius, forcing everyone to move over. You look for him in the tangle of arms and blankets, everyone Sirius loves rammed into one bed and exhausted. 

“Is anyone in the mood for a kiss?” James asks.

“Too tired,” you mumble. 

“Too far away. Make it up to you in the morning,” Remus says into Sirius's shoulder. Sirius is having a hard time following the conversation, distracted by the smell of your perfume and all the skin pressed to his. 

James sighs forlornly. “Fine.” A pause. “Sirius?” 

He snores. 

[buckyalpine]

Needy Dark!Bucky

Feel like I should issue a warning for this - PLS scroll all the way past this if this isn’t your thing. Maybe this should have stayed in the drafts or be deleted. But I can’t help the absolute headlock, deception, corruption, dub con, mommy and innocence kink has on me rn. 

This is fucked and dirty. 

Heed the warnings. 

Please. 

Imagine dark!Bucky taking advantage of your sweetness. You’re so soft and kind with him, helping him adjust to the new world, hardly realizing he’s damn well adjusted already and doesn’t need anyone to baby him.

But he loves when you do.

Maybe it’s because of all the shit he’s been through, touch starved, deprived of care and softness, that’s how he justifies the need to be utterly babied and taken care of by you. Fuck you’re so soft when you do it, cooing and walking him through everything, as if he doesn’t know a thing, he’s poor little fried brain.

It started with him pouting at dinner, happy to have you feed him instead. Sometimes you help him wash his hair so the shampoo doesn’t sting his eyes, sitting on the edge of the tub with a bowl of water, not minding one bit your clothes would get wet in the process. You even hold him in his sleep like a little boy because his nightmares are so scary. 

He’d taken to calling you mommy when no one else was around. 

But then he wanted more.

So much more.

“Mommy, it’s hard” he frowns with puppy eyes, standing at the doorway in just his boxer briefs', hair still dripping from the shower. His cock is straining against the fabric from the way you had massaged his scalp and gently rinsed with conditioner; the entire time you helped him, he wanted to pull your hand off his head and have you shove them down his shorts. 

“Aww, Jamie” You don’t want him to feel embarrassed over something natural, getting up and taking his hand, sitting him down on the bed, “it’s normal baby, are you feeling little right now?”

Daddy is feeling a lot of things, mommy

You’d noticed he’d slip into a different headspace when it was just you and him though you didn’t mind. He deserved a safe place to heal and relearn everything in a way that helped him. 

How he loved it. 

“A little” he shrugs, “Why is it hard?” He asks innocently, palming himself, whimpering at the feeling, spreading his legs more. He lets out a surprised moan when his hand brushes over his clothed cockhead, feigning innocence, touching himself there more at the foreign sensation. 

“Help me mommy” he takes your hand, placing it on his raging cock, “Please? Hurts, how do I make it normal” 

“Um-” You bit your lip, unsure of how to answer his questions while he continued to confusedly touch himself, rubbing his erection. “You- 

“It’s getting harder, why is my thinggy so hard” 

Go on mama, tell me why my cock is so fucking hard

“It happens sometimes baby, it’s normal though” You cup his cheek trying to comfort and reassure him. That isn’t enough for him though. 

“What-what do I call it?” He pouts, smirking on the inside, proud of his fat fucking cock that hes imagined in your hand, your mouth, your tight little pussy-

“How about we just call it your special spot for now, hm?” You rub the side of his thigh to see if helps ease him but his cock twitches instead, thigh muscles tensed under your finger tips. 

Wonder what you’d actually call it, come play with my special spot, mommy 

“Mommy, its getting wet” He looked like he’s going to cry and you can’t help but want to help him in some way, hushing him gently. 

“Okay, let me see baby” You sit across from him between his wide spread legs. He slips his thumbs into the waistband of his brief's, just enough to free his cock, his thick curved length slapping against his tummy. He pouts again, looking down at the leaky pink tip, his balls full and heavy, every part of him wishing he could just stuff himself into your cunt but he has to do this carefully. 

He’d get that eventually. 

After all, you’d never deny your baby boy. 

“Mommy is going to help you, okay?” You carefully wrap your hand around his shaft, stroking his cock up and down, focused on taking care of him, not once noticing the dark gaze he has on you while you work at his length. “You okay, Jamie?” 

“It’s all tingly, it feels good mommy” His cheeks are flushed, hips every so slightly rocking up into your hand, meeting your strokes. He only lets out soft little whimpers and babbles but his mind is screaming everything else.

That’s it mama, stroke my fucking cock. 

Jerk my dick, get all my cum out, balls are so heavy right now

Would paint that pretty face if I could, you’d look gorgeous covered in my cum

What daddy wouldn’t give to have you slobber and suck his “special spot” 

Bet your cunt is tight as fuck, wish you were a slut sometimes mommy, I’ll make you a whore soon

“I- I feel something” he pants out, pearls of precum beading at the tip, dribbling down over your fingers. You avoid stroking him too fast or hard, not wanting to overstimulate him, avoiding the tip of his cock. “It’s getting so wet, I’m making a mess” He looks down at the head of his cock with glassy eyes, another dribble of silky liquid coating your fingers. 

“You’re gonna be sensitive there baby, it’s okay, that’s just how your special spot is support to be, okay?”

“Touch- can you touch the pink part?” He whispers shyly, letting out a high pitched white when you twist your wrist around his glistening cockhead, “Don’t stop, keep touching me there” He pleads and you shift closer to him, cooing while he squirms. He takes advantage of how close you are to him, pulling you to his side and hiding his face against your neck. 

“Mommy, it feels good, I feel something-I-it feels heavy down there-” He lets his hand go down to his balls, tugging at them, sighing happily when you pull his hand away and gently cup them instead, softy massaging them with just the right pressure. 

“You can let it all out, let go Jamie, it’s okay, let it all out” You start to stroke him faster, more focused on the tip just like he asked, kissing his temple while he continues to shy away from you. 

“Let it out?” He pulls away and gives you a confused expression, seemingly not understanding, his body still thrusting into your hand while you grip him a little harder. 

“There’s gonna be lots of stuff that comes out, okay? It’ll help you feel better, I’ll clean you right up after baby, just let it all out” 

Damn right m’gonna cum hard for you, babydoll, not gonna hold back a single drop

He moans against your neck, body covered in sweat, rutting into your hand while you twist around the tip, his cock growing harder. 

“AH-MOMMY!” He practically wails, cum shooting out in hot white streams, his whole body shuddering and trembling, and endless stream of his cream getting the dark curls at the base of his cock all wet and messy. “OH MOMMMY-it’s -it’s so much”  You whisper sweet nothings to him, telling him he was so good, carefully removing your hand, letting his throbbing length slap against his belly. 

He knows he already got what he wanted but he can’t help himself, wanting just a bit more, putting his sweet pout back on, looking at you with teary eyes. 

“Kiss it better?” He’s tugging you close again, bucking his hips up a little to where he wants attention, “Please” He pleads, his softening cock still dripping with cum. 

C’mon mommy, lick me up, just suck it a little 

You know how needy he can get, and your heart hurts thinking about how different his body must be feeling, overwhelmed and overstimulated. You hush him again with a kiss to his forehead before moving down to give him affection where he needed it. His eyes grow wide, biting back a smirk, gripping the sheets to make sure he didn’t shove your head down.  

“Oh kiss it better mommy” He moans, back arching off the bed when your soft lips brush on top of his tip, pecking the sweetest comforting kiss on his frenulum, making his body jolt. 

Just put it in your mouth

“Can-can you do it again?” He asks innocently, chewing his bottom lip raw. 

“Just one more, then I have to clean you up” You place a firm kiss onto his now spent cock, before getting up and wiping him down, letting him spend the night cuddled to your chest. At some point, he asks to nurse and you can’t tell him no. He doesn’t waste a second taking your top off and latching onto your nipple, hitching his leg over you while his lips suckle. 

Sometimes you have a feeling in the back of your mind, wondering if he truly has no clue what’s happening. Then he looks at you with such innocence, there’s no way, not with those baby blue eyes and sweet pouty pink lips. 

How could you ever doubt him. 

-

On the other hand, imagine one day he catches you in an intimate moment with your hands between your legs, not realizing he was still home. He goes feral on the inside but on the outside, he’s just a lost puppy who wants to know what your doing. You struggle to explain to him what was happening, not catching the flash of hunger that he’s struggling to hide while you’re now wrapped up in your sheet to cover yourself. 

All he knows is mommy was feeling like he was that day and had to take care of her private special spot too. With that cute button he’d love to suck. 

Should’ve asked me mommy, if only you knew how good my fingers are 

“It looks like my thinggy” He points out to your toy, which you snatch away and feel your body heating up further. “Mommy, can I put my special spot inside yours?” He doesn’t give you a lot of room to protest, pleading with you, showing you how hard he is again. 

He starts off with begging, rutting himself against you, humping you like an animal while you try to soothe him but it doesn’t work. He’s thrown his clothes off lying top of you with his bare cock against your folds, desperately rubbing himself, wanting to push it in. 

“Just the pink part, please, I need it, wanna empty everything, it’s leaking mommy” 

You don’t know how or when but at some point he presses his tip into you and shoves his entire length all at once, moaning loudly and thrusting without a care in the world. You’re body and might screams that something isn’t right, unable to stop the moans that slip out of you when he hits your cunt just right, pleasure trying to drown you from reality. 

Imagine the utter filth that spills from his mouth after while your blood runs cold, realizing something doesn’t add up.

“Mommy, your special spot feels so good, so good, so. fucking. good” 

“I wanna fuck you all night mommy, your pussy is perfect”

“I touched myself thinking about you and how you stroked my dick baby, wished you would’ve just sucked my cum out instead. 

“Oh fuck, you’re tight, choking my cock baby, make me wanna bust in you so bad” 

“J-James?” You whisper, eyes growing wide, how the fuck did he know those words, what was happening. Bucky loses himself in how good you feel, no longer giving a fuck. “What-what are you saying-”

“It’s Jamie” He lets out a dark chuckle, mocking your sweet tone, dropping the act, now that he’s deep in your cunt. “Your Jamie’s cock” 

“Cock?” 

“Yeah, cock mama, my cock in your little special spot” 

Bruh I’m so sorry tf is wrong with me 💀

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

THIS BLOG IS 😍🫣😊😳

can we please get James (modern or 10s) x younger reader? They are arguing and she goes “don’t tell me what to do you’re not my father” and he goes “I’m not your father, but I’m your daddy” and completely breaks her in bed??? Like she came so many times last night that in the morning she can’t feel her legs and her whole body aches and he brings her coffee to bed and asking if she learned how to behave???

I’m such a whore for him 🤤🫣😳

Warnings: smut, use of toys, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, oral sex (m receiving), daddy kink, angst, age gap, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

All you wanted was to go on a little trip with some of your friends, James asked if he could go and you said no because it was supposed to just be you and your friends.

After that he got all upset over it, saying he wasn’t paying for shit. He liked paying for you, spoiling you, it didn’t often cross his mind that you made your own money and had some to set aside to pay for yourself.

He just wanted to be with you and didn’t see why it was such a big deal that he’d be coming along, your friends liked him well enough, didn’t they?

Sure, James was a few years -or decades- older than you, but you loved him and he loved you more than anything! Why wouldn’t they see that?

“Oh, they’d love it if I just paid for it though, huh?” He said, arms crossed over his chest as he sat on the couch, refusing to look at you and instead glaring bullet holes into the TV.

You groaned loudly, rolling your eyes. “No! They don’t want you to pay for anything! You can’t just buy people off!” He chewed his cheek at that remark. “They just want to spend time with me!”

“And they can’t do that with me there?” You threw a pillow at him, knocking him in the head and he finally turned to look at you.

“I don’t need you there because you’re not my fucking dad!” You could see something swirling in his eyes, something more than anger or frustration.

James stood up slowly and made his way over to you in a few determined strides. He pointed a finger to you, pushing on your chest as he towered over you. “I might not be your dad but you know damn well I’m your fucking daddy.” You swallowed thickly, already feeling yourself getting wet as his blue eyes bore into you.

He lifted you up and tossed you over his shoulder effortlessly, giving your ass a firm smack. You bit down on your lip, refusing to make a sound. The fight wasn’t over, just on pause -if that’s what James wanted.

As he carried you he pulled off your clothes, dragging your jeans down your thighs along with your panties so he had free access to your needy cunt, easily taking two of his fingers already. He wasn’t going easy on you, fingers moving faster, only pulling out to smack your ass every few seconds because you were squirming too much.

He tossed you onto the bed, mind already fuzzy and a knot already building in your gut. He stared down at you a moment, thinking about how to punish you.

“C’mere.” He said, patting the edge of the bed. You crawled down and flipped over onto your back, looking up at him eagerly.

He went to the dresser and opened a drawer, pulling out a massage wand. He smiled as he brought it over to you and used your pants to hold it up right against your clit, a makeshift torture device when he hit the button and it started whirring against your bundle of nerves.

You were a whining mess in minutes, James hovering over you, pinching and flicking your perky nipples. You couldn’t take it much longer, already feeling the knot coming undone, James just smiled down at you as you twitched and squirmed against the toy. “Jamie! Jamie, m’so close, I can’t-can’t-!”

“Can’t cum without daddy.” He finished for you. “you can have your vacation but you know it won’t be the same without me, sweetheart.” You whined loudly, eyes rolling back as you came. He didn’t touch the toy, letting it continue and overstimulate you.

He got up and undid his jeans, pulling them down enough for his hard cock to hit you in the face. A wicked grin came to his face as he tapped your with his leaky tip, smearing pre-cum over your cheeks before pushing past your lips.

You gagged around him, borderline choking on his length as he thrusted mercilessly down your throat, groaning at the sensation. You could feel yourself being pushed closer to the edge again, tears brimming your eyes from it all.

You held the sheets in a death grip, struggling to stay still for him as another wave of pleasure washed over you.

The vibrator was starting to hurt, constant buzzing between your legs bringing more out of you, with every high they just came quicker and harder, tears now streaming down your cheeks.

James was still using your mouth like a fleshlight, not caring if you were crying or in pain. He saw the drool dribbling over your jaw, mixing with his pre. He was twitching down your throat, pulsing before he finally came with a few loud groans, his head falling back in ecstasy.

He pulled out of you. You coughed, a few sobs ripping from your throat. “Please!” You cried, voice hoarse, it hurt to say anything. “Make it stop, make it stop!” James smiled down at you, wiping tears from your eyes.

“Aw, my poor baby hurts?” He asked in a mocking tone. “Needs daddy to make her feel better?”

You nodded. “Please, daddy, please! It-it hurts, it hurts, daddy!” He moved to sit on the bed, finally turning the toy off and taking it away from you.

He helped you out of your clothes, they were sticking uncomfortably to your sweaty skin, body twitching, aching and shuddering at every feather light touch. James didn’t care, he had his plans and seeing how you were reacting to his gentleness in the moment only got him more excited for when he got to be rough again.

Your chest rose and fell hard, heaving as you continued to cry, unable to stop the sobs slipping past your lips. James got up and started taking off his own clothes, pulling his shirt over his head and revealing the pudge of his stomach, pudge he always seemed self-conscious of but you loved. You loved laying your head on his stomach, or grinding down on it like a pillow, but it was better because it was James guiding your hips, moving you farther down until you were riding his dick and throwing your head back.

He dropped his jeans completely along with his boxers and crawled back onto the bed, wrapping his arms around you and flipping you around so your head was on the pillows and he was hovering over you again, pinning you down.

“How are you, darling?” He asked, leaning down to kiss you. “Feeling alright? S’not too much?” He was concerned for your well-being, but if he kept asking it would ruin the whole mood, he’d ask you sporadically to make sure you were still enjoying it, he’d listen if you told him to stop and he needed you to know that.

You sniffled and nodded. “M’good.” You said simply.

“Good.” He said, kissing you again. “Because you need to learn a lesson, don’t you?” He asked, not waiting for a response before he pushed into you, wasting no time as he pistoned his hips into yours just as he had done with your mouth.

Your moans and cries bounced off the walls, back arching as you came again, let’s shaking on either side of him. His words echoed through your mind as he grunted in your ears, nothing but degrading comments, “you dumb fucking slut, you fucking love this, don’t you? Love being used by daddy, love being fucked stupid, you’ve got nothing going through that thick fucking skull of yours, got nothing but daddy, huh?” And all you could do was agree.

The room was dark, curtains pulled over the windows to block the light from coming through. Everywhere was a dull ache and you couldn’t move your legs no matter how hard you tried, not that you were really trying.

You weren’t lying in yours and James’s bed, he carried you to a guest room because there was no way he was letting you sleep in that fill, sheets soaked and stained. He tossed them in the washer when he woke up but he didn’t think it would do much and already had a garbage bag ready for them, planning to get another set later that day.

The door creaked open and he came in with a tray of food, smiling when he saw you were awake. “Morning, darling, sleep good?” He asked as he sat down beside you, setting the tray on your lap after helping you to sit up.

You nodded, looking over the selection of a yogurt bowl, granola and fruits mixed in it, a cup of coffee just the way you like it on side, a banana cut up in a bowl drizzled with chocolate. “Slept good.” You said, voice raw.

You leaned your head on his shoulder, he wrapped his arm around you and held you tighter to his side. “I’m glad, sweetheart, ‘cause that’s how I’m gonna get you to sleep every night until you leave.”

You looked up at him. “Jamie, you can’t do that, I won’t be able to move.”

He smiled proudly down at you. “Well, I suppose I could be more reasonable, if you let me come with you.” He leaned down closer to you, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “I just want to fuck you in our hotel room, on the balcony, take you somewhere pretty off tour.”

It took a lot of convincing for your friends to let you bring him along, they didn’t like him and they didn’t like that he was this protective of you. They didn’t like how much older he was than you, they didn’t like anything about this situation and it was evident. Every day of your trip you were seeing more and more how your friends were pushing away from you, it hurt but James was there every night to comfort you.

He was ruining you, in a few ways, but he made it better. At least, he made it seem that way.

[scoonsalicious]

3.3 Bucky

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, brunch, toxic plants.

Word Count: 1.5k

Previously On...: Your coworkers warned you about the history of the Winter Soldier.

A/N: Time for Brunch!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Bucky held the diner door open, allowing Lily to walk in first. It was a sort of tradition of theirs– brunch every other Saturday at Melinda’s, a cute little cafe about a twenty minute drive from the Compound– that they’d been doing for years now.

“I’m so glad to finally be spending some time together,” Lily said as she slid into their usual booth by the window. “I feel like it’s been ages.”

Bucky chuckled as he picked up his menu– not like he didn’t already know exactly what he was going to get: a black coffee, scrambled eggs with sausage and bacon, a plate of home fries, and a short stack of chocolate chip pancakes. “Lil, we hung out last night,” he told her.

“Last night doesn’t count,” she pouted, picking up a sugar packet from the little ceramic container on the table and beginning to play with it. 

Bucky put down the menu. “Why not?” he asked.

Before she could answer him, the waitress came to take their order. Bucky liked her– Mya; she was always friendly and put an extra pancake on the pile for him, free of charge.

“Hey there, Buck,” she greeted warmly, “Lily. Good to see you two again.”

“Hey, Mya,” Bucky replied with a dazzling smile. “How are you this morning? How’s Frankie?” Mya was a single mother, working two jobs, so Bucky always made sure to tip well and inquire about her son.

“He’s good, Buck; thanks for asking. He really appreciates the autographed Avengers picture you got for him; brought it to school for Show & Tell and everything.”

Bucky laughed good naturedly. “My pleasure,” he said. “They always make us take those dumb publicity photos; figured something good should come outta them.”

“Well, he’s very grateful, all the same,” she said with a grin. “How are–”

“I’ll take a Cobb salad, no bacon, dressing on the side, and a Diet Sprite. Thank you,” Lily interjected, smile tight.

Mya blinked a few times before replying “Yeah, sure, absolutely,” as if she hadn’t just been interrupted. She turned to Bucky. “The usual for you, Buck?” she asked.

“Yeah, please. Thanks, Mya.” Mya took their menus and, promising their food would be right out, walked away. Bucky followed her with his eyes to make sure she was well out of earshot before he turned back to Lily. “What the hell, Lil?” he asked her.

“What?” she asked, seemingly nonchalantly. “I’m hungry.”

“So, you couldn’t wait five seconds for her to finish speaking?” he asked accusingly. 

“Hey, she gets paid to serve, not to flirt,” Lily snapped. 

Bucky rolled his eyes as he leaned back. “You always think everyone’s flirting with me. We were just talking about her kid. What is with you today?”

Lily sighed and looked up at him, blue eyes turning sad. “I’m sorry– I’m just tired. I told you, I didn’t sleep well last night, and it’s making me cranky. Don’t be too mad at me, okay, Jamie?” She smiled and reached her hand across the table to grab his. “It’s your fault, after all.” She winked at him.

Bucky smiled and squeezed her hand. “I told you I was sorry,” he said. “And now I’m making it up to you by buying you brunch. Gotta take care of my best girl, right?” Lily beamed at him. 

“Right,” she agreed with a nod. “Hey, just out of curiosity, where did you end up staying last night? Did you go back to the Tower?” Though Tony Stark had moved the Avengers operation to the Compound Upstate, he still utilized the Tower for Stark Industries, and kept apartments available there for the team to use if they found themselves in the city overnight.

Bucky pulled his hand back from hers and scratched the back of his neck. Lily squinted her eyes at him, and he knew he’d just revealed a sure tell that he’d done something she’d not be pleased with. 

“Oh my god, Bucky,” Lily said angrily. “Do not tell me you stayed the night with Nat’s friend.” The way she said ‘friend,’ with her voice getting incredibly shrill at the end, had Bucky inwardly cringing. 

“Well, by the time I got her back to her place,” Bucky defended, “it was already pouring. Wouldn’t’ve been safe for me to head back in those conditions.”

Lily seemed to be mulling over his words. “I guess,” she said, after a moment. “So, what? You sleep on the couch?”

For some reason, Bucky couldn’t get the words out to tell his best friend the truth– that, no, he hadn’t slept on Major’s couch. In fact, he’d slept on her bed, but it didn’t really count, because the two of them had hardly done any sleeping at all. Instead, he just brought his coffee cup to his lips, took a long sip, and nodded.

“Good,” said Lily, seeming satisfied with his answer. “I don’t like the idea of you hanging out with her. She was a total bitch.”

Bucky frowned. He realized that the interaction between Major and Lily last night had been… tense, but he fully hadn’t expected that she would call Major a bitch and tell him she didn’t want him to spend time with her. “She was just defending herself, Lil,” he said cautiously. “You were kinda out of line with that anti-girly stuff.”

Lily gave him a wounded look. “I cannot believe you would take the side of a complete stranger over your own best friend,” she said, looking affronted. “She was incredibly rude to me.”

Mya returned then with their meals, and Bucky waited until she had walked away before continuing: “I’m not siding with anyone. I just think you should take into consideration that you were rude to her, first, Lil. She was acting defensive because you put her on the defensive.” 

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” Lily crossed her arms, pouting.

“Lil, doesn’t it bother you that you don’t have any female friends?” he asked carefully.

She scoffed. “What do I need female friends for?” she asked. “They just wanna talk about stupid girl shit and it’s dull and boring. Besides, I have you. I don’t need other friends.”

It struck Bucky then how very sad that seemed. Sure, he didn’t have many friends, himself; just Steve, Lily, Sam, and the team, but he was a 100-plus year old, formerly brainwashed, ex-assassin with PTSD and a list of issues a mile long, so it was to be expected. But Lily? Surely a young, vibrant person like her should be hanging with more people than just him?

“This was what Major was talking about,” Bucky said gently, choosing to ignore his observation for the time being. “You can think feminine things are dull, and boring, but it’s not fair of you to consider them stupid just because you don’t enjoy them. And it’s definitely not cool of you to look down on people who do.”

To Bucky’s dismay, Lily’s bottom lip began to tremble, and he feared she was going to start crying. “Why are you mad at me?” she pouted. 

Bucky felt his facial features soften as he looked at her. “I’m not mad at you, Lil. I just think that, maybe, you should reconsider your stance on some things, that’s all.”

Lily seemed to consider his words for a moment, before she broke out into a giant grin. “Okay, Jamie,” she said, digging back into her Cobb salad. “If it’ll make you happy, I’ll do better.”

Well, Bucky thought, that went better than expected.

They ate companionably for a while after that, sharing small talk and enjoying each other’s company. When it came time to leave, Bucky paid the bill, making sure to leave a little extra for Mya to make up for Lily’s earlier rudeness. 

As they were walking out, Lily interlocked her arm with his. “Do you want to do a movie night at my place tonight?” she asked. Since Lily was a member of SHIELD, and not an Avenger proper, she didn’t have an apartment at the Compound. Instead, like most of the other agents who were based there, she had a place of her own in town. Usually, Bucky relished spending time at her place, where it was quiet and far less crowded. 

But then Bucky remembered he’d asked Major out to dinner for this evening. “Shit, Lil,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his vibranium hand. “I can’t tonight; I’m sorry.”

“What, you abandoning me for a hot date or something?” The words were phrased as a joke, but there was an edge to her voice that told Bucky she was genuinely afraid that was why he was saying no.

He let out a forced laugh. “Of course not,” he said, immediately wondering why he was lying to her. “I just, uh, promised Sam we’d do a guys’ night. You know how he gets if he thinks people aren’t paying enough attention to him.”

Lily scoffed. “He’s such a fucking drama queen,” she said.

“Heh, yeah.” Bucky sent out a silent apology to both Major and Sam for the lie, and hoped he could get Sam to back him up on it. He had told Bucky he’d be his wingman when it came to Major, after all.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[whimsical-roasting]

You reblogged that Sam gifs post and it reminded me of that headcanon i have of being Sam’s friend but you’re feisty and take no one’s shit. Like he’s always takes the high road and you’re like when they go low i go lowER. I would fight that Akufo dude for him no questions asked.

hi wifey <3 you are absolutely right!! i fucking love that idea of Sam having a bestie who'd throw hands for him.. it's on sight all the time.

special thanks to @sokkigarden for bouncing ideas off me, love you bby. okay, i wanna write about being friends w the AFC Richmond boys more, so if yall have ANY thoughts on being friends with ANY of the lads then send me requests on it so we can DISCUSS

OKAY BUT BEING BESTIES WITH SAM OBISANYA

he's such a wholesome and loyal friend... a breath of fresh air yknow?? Dani is more of that 'unconditional sunshine' energy, but Sam is positive whilst still keeping it real w you

and sooo you're hella loyal to him too. well, you're loyal to everyone you care about. you'd take a bullet for them, no questions asked, but probs a lot of cussing involved (same, but i'll come back to this)

sharing an airpod each if yall go out on a walk or join the team on a bus ride - if you're dating jamie then he NEEDS you next to him on the ride back, probs uses your shoulder to sleep on and has an arm around your waist so you can't leave, but that's a diff post ahahaha

having a shared spotify playlist that you both keep adding music too...the vibes are all over the place. "Y/N, I was trying to jam out to J.Cole, and then Adele came on??" "Oh yea, I was sad bout something earlier"

blanket forts and microwaveable caramel popcorn for when he's missing home

playing as him in FIFA when you're with the lads and yellin "YEA THATS MY BESTIE" every time you score as him

pinching his earlobes like his dad would for good luck on the days of a big match/when he's really nervous

since opening OLA'S, you join him when he attends small business owner conventions, but that's mainly to try the free food

since i'm vegetarian, telling him that his menu looks great but you can only stick to sumn like the jollof rice.. so next month when he invites you over to his restaurant for a catchup dinner there's a whole new lil section for vegetarian dishes on the menu (or whatever dietary inclusivr thingy etc.)

warning Sam about Afuko because "a man simply doesn't feed you pasta and lobster and send you a stack without something in mind" and him being like ??? what and you groan, "did you watch the tiktoks I sent you??"

hearing about how the Afuko rejection went and Sam only focusses on "he called me medium talent??" and you're SEETHING

you're like "what the living F U C K" and he's like "oh hey Y/N, don't worry, I know I am not medium talent" and you're like "what? no, shut up, obviously not, but that's not the POINT here. how did that ASSHOLE have the audacity to speak to you like that?!!"

you're searching up flights to Nigeria and opening a google map from the airport to Afuko's business residence or something, and Sam is like, "seriously, forget that guy. bullet dodged." and you're angrily muttering about how Afuko's gonna have to dodge the bazooka you're gonna smuggle onto the plane

"We cannot be best friends if you end up in jail because you tried to smuggle a bazooka onto the plane." "I just wanna talk to him...with a bazooka." "No." "Pleas-" "No."

telling Sam you might be getting feelings for Jamie and being nervous he'd be mad because of their relationship in S1, but you promise he's changed, and Sam is like, I know

wearing the Obisanya jersey and the rest of the boys are like 'hey why don't you ever support our merch' so like every match you're switching out jerseys before texting a pic to the groupchat

running into that Francis guy who's Afuko's right-hand man and "accidentally" stepping on his foot real hard like OOPS

giving him updates on your love life and vice versa. "Y/N, please tell me this one is not a loser." "Um, Sam, shut up; you know my rizz only seems to work on losers??" "hey, Jamie told me that telling a woman my favourite movie is Ratatouille is a bad idea... is it?" "just bake her a lasagna or something and say that's how you learnt to cook." "I am not doing that." "dammit, I thought we'd get lasagna for dinner"

doing random tiktok trends or challenges - the baking one where one person is blind, one is deaf, and one is mute, but they all gotta work together to bake a cake!! sam (tape around his mouth) x you (blindfolded) x jamie (loud ass headphones on)

jamie: pass the FOOKIN sugah!! *back turned to yall as he stirs the mix*

you: WHAT. WHERE. *randomly smacking shit, picking up the salt and dropping it on the counter and onto a spoon*

sam: mmmhnph! *waving his hands in your face like NO but you can't see*

you: *turning to jamie with a spoonful, which he probs tastes absentmindedly whilst stirring* OI TASTE THIS

jamie: FOOKS SAKE

[kitty-tea]

Distracted

Link to masterlist

NSFW 18+ only!

Paring: Student!James Potter x Teacher!Reader

Warnings: smut, sexual content, oral sex, sex dreams, extremely filthy, small age gap (James is 18, reader’s age is early twenties,) teacher/student relationship

Summary: Your student James Potter doesn’t seem to be able to concentrate in class and you want to know why.

WC: 1.7k

A/N: Hello, I just want to say I don’t support student/teacher relationships in real life and this is just fictional, but this was interesting to write!

James can’t concentrate in class today even though he knows the material that’s being covered in his Defense Against the Dark Arts class. He usually prides himself to be one of the best in the subject. It’s been that way in the past. It wasn’t like being cocky was his entire personality because James made sure to study as much as possible during his free time. After all, who doesn’t want to impress their favorite teacher? Especially if the teacher happens to be a young and pretty woman.

He can’t ignore the twitch under his trousers everytime you look in his direction or turn around, the natural swaying of your hips emphasized by the way your skirt hugs your body. He was never one to think these thoughts in class about anyone. Until you started teaching in his last year of school.

Even though you weren’t much older than him, James barely remembers you from your time as a student other than that you didn’t have much in common with him other than being in the same house.

At first James didn’t know he had it in him to fantasize about doing such lewd things with you while you were right next to him. The first time you called him out in front of the whole class for not paying attention, his face went bright red while his friends laughed at him. Then it kept happening again and again. At this point he’s almost too afraid to find out whether you’re skilled at Legilimency.

James mentally plans out what he’ll do about his failing grades as he sees the other students pack up their things, and he hastily follows their actions.

Once he sees the last students other than himself close the door behind them, he swallows a thick lump in his throat as he takes slow steps towards where you are standing in front of your desk with your back to him, too busy arranging papers.

As quickly as James comes to a stop behind you, you turn around gasping with a hand to your chest.

“Sorry, Professor.” James tries to sound as sincere as he can. “I apologize for startling you.”

“That’s alright, Jamie.” Your voice comes out sounding as soft as your lips look, and he is alarmed at how his trousers suddenly feel tight around the crotch area as you shorten his name. Please, please don’t look down. He silently prays, as he regrets not wearing his robes over his uniform to help hide what he didn’t want you to see.

“What can I do for you?” You ask.

It takes a bit too long for him to answer even though he knows what he wants to say. “I… was wondering i-if you have a moment to talk about my grades?” Why was that so difficult to get out? And why is he always stammering like a damn fool everytime he has to talk to you?

“Of course. Why don’t you take a seat?” You give him that same familiar smile that he spends many nights thinking about as he gives into his filthy thoughts about you after his friends had long gone to sleep in their shared room.

Being as hypnotized as he always is by the sound of your voice, he does exactly as you say, and takes another gulp of air as he sees you sit right on top of the desk crossing your legs, your ass right next to where his hands are folded.

James doesn’t know what else to do other than to look up at you, being reminded of your position of authority over him. He lets his eyes trail from head to toe, starting with the neat bun on top of your head accented by the short strands of hair framing your face, to your glasses which emphasizes your eyeliner, before his eyes dip down to your white, form fitting blouse that if he squints long enough he’s convinced he can see the outline of your bra. He can’t help but to admire how you’re wearing all black on your lower body, your skirt already riding up, letting him see your thighs that were covered with black nylons, making the silhouette of your legs look sleek and elegant along with the matching heels which you casually let dangle off one of your feet.

“I couldn’t help but notice you’ve been distracted today, Jamie.” You say, leaning back on one hand while resting your other hand on your thigh. From an outsider's perspective, it looks like you’re trying to seduce him, and he’s almost convinced that’s what you’re doing. “I’m glad you came to me for help. I know you’re one of the best students in your year, and as your teacher I wouldn’t want you to fail this class. Especially because it’s your last year.” You say in that soft tone that makes him feel dizzy, and his breathing comes out shallow.

“What’s wrong Jamie?” You scrunch up your eyebrows in a way that looks innocent, but James knows better than to think you don’t know the effect you have on him.

“I’m sorry I got distracted. I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you.” James looks down as soon as his cheeks redden.

“Be honest, Jamie.” You take your hand that’s resting on your leg and gently place it on his chest, right where he feels his breath being sucked out as his heart beats faster than ever. “Am I the reason you get distracted in class?” You lean forward even more as you wait for him to answer. In the meantime, your eyes don’t leave his as you trail your hand from his chest to his shoulder before rubbing circles over the tense muscles.

“I… Yes?” James breathes out, almost grunting. He doesn’t even know what he’s saying or agreeing to just that you’re so close to him and touching him so lightly yet making him feel so much.

“I thought so.” You smirk as you bite your lip and bat your eyelashes at him. “Are you gonna be a good boy for me?”

Yes, he is. Because James wants nothing more than for you to praise him and keep calling him a good boy as he gets high from the scent of your perfume and the feel of your hands on him.

You don’t say anything as you let go of his shoulder and stand up. You then hold your hand out for him to take, which he does. Even with your high heels he’s still taller than you, so you have to balance on your toes as you place both hands on his shoulders this time.

You look up at him as you place a gentle kiss on his lips. He moans deeper into the kiss as you move your lips in sync with his before letting go.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” You ask him. He shakes his head. “Did you like it?” He nods thinking of how dumb he must look.

“I can give you more. Don’t you want me to make you feel good, Jamie?” Fuck. He doesn’t know how many times you can call him that until he feels like cumming just from you talking to him. He lets out what must be the millionth shaky breath as he feels your delicate fingers slide from his shoulders to somewhere dangerously close to the spot that’s evident of his desire for you.

Your eyes look down to where the tent in his trousers are before going up to his flushed face and giving him a smirk.

“What do you want, Jamie?” You ask him. “You want me to fuck you with my mouth that you can’t stop staring at?” He’s so shocked at hearing you use a swear word in front of him for the first time that he can’t move any of his body parts besides his neck which he uses to nod.

“Ugh, you’re so hard and ready.” You sigh as you get down on your knees and unbuckle his belt. Your hand gives his cock a once over before taking it out of the confines of his boxers.

“Be a good boy and stay still.” You tell him as you wrap your small hand around his length and stroke the tip with your thumb.

As if it couldn’t get any better, James looks down and sees your soft lips bobbing up and down on his hard cock, and he almost loses it. He doesn’t know if he’s losing his sanity or his ability to talk, maybe both. He knows he wants to cum so badly, and he can’t get enough of you.

With every breath James takes, he can feel himself get even more dizzy until he almost can’t take it anymore.

“James, James. Come on, wake up. Class is over.” Your hand gently shakes his shoulder.

James groggily opens his eyes as he lifts his head up to the sound of your voice. “Wh-What’s going on?” He rubs his eyes under his glasses.

“You fell asleep while everyone else was doing their writing assignment. Everyone else is gone and I’ve been trying to wake you up for a minute.” You tell him. From the lack of ink on his paper, you can tell he didn’t even start it at all before dozing off.

“Are you alright?” You ask him, genuinely concerned for his well-being.

You can tell he really is an intelligent person, but his head always seems to be somewhere else when he’s around you. You don’t know what it is about him that makes him act the way he does in your class when you’ve only heard the other teachers rave about him being one of the best students.

“How about you stay with me for a bit before you go to lunch? You can tell me what’s going on. And help me grade papers for extra credit. It seems like you had a nice dream, though.” It may be very subtle, but you catch the way James widens his eyes and tenses his jaw, like he’s scared of you finding out something. You don’t know what the big deal seems to be. You’ve made it clear that you’re not one to judge, you just want for him to open up to you, let him know you’re here for him.

“Sure.” James scratches the back of his head as you give him a smile.

You’re very curious as to what’s going on with him, and you’re determined to find out.

[hopefulromances]

hiya! as soon as i saw the "allowing themselves to make mistakes" prompt i knew it would be perfect for jaimie!! maybe something with reader constantly reminding jamie that being soft is actually not a bad thing, that he can be vulnerable and that he doesn't have to blame himself for everything that goes wrong. feel free to take this in a different direction if you want to xx

TW: Blood, cuts, injury, nothing too extreme

The sound of glass breaking followed by very angry, mancurian cursing brought your attention from your book. You slotted your book mark onto the page and got up out of your seat to go into the kitchen. Jamie was furiously muttering to himself as he started picking up glass off the floor.

"Jamie, be careful, glass is-"

Just as you were speaking, a partiularlly large piece of glass, sliced open his hand.

"Fucking bollucks!" He grimaced, dropping the other pieces to hold his hand. He grunted angrily, standing up and going to the facuet.

"Jamie, let me help you." You delicately, stepped through the broken glass to make your way over to Jamie.

"I can do it, it's fine," he shot back, more aggressive than you were expecting.

"Please, Jamie I just-"

"Fuck off, would you I can do this!"

You stood back, holding up your hands in surrender. There was something going on, you knew it. Jamie never swore at you, he rarely raised his his voice. You spoke softly.

"I know you can. I know you can do it, Jamie. But I want to help you."

He stared at his hand under the faucet, the water turning red as his hand bled. You clicked your tonge and walked to the medicine cabinet. You grabbed anti-biotic fluid and a wrap before heading back to Jamie. He was still standing in over the sink, letting the warm water wash off his hand.

You carefully turned off the sink and took his hand in yours. he still hadn't spoke but he didn't pull his hand away so you figured he was going to let you help. You dried off his hand, careful not to pull the skin too much.

"Okay, hun, I'm gonna put some of this on there, and it's gonna sting, you ready?" He nodded. You dabbed some of the antibiotics onto his cut and you heard him hiss as the fluid stung his skin. "I know, I'm so sorry, baby." You finished wrapping his hand and pulled it up to kiss his palm. "There, all better!"

"M' sorry," he muttered as you kissed him. "For being mean."

You nudged him, smiling. "I accept your apology. Now will you tell me what's going on?" He shrugged, staring at his injury. "Jamie, you know you can talk to me. It's okay."

"I jus'... I jus' wanted to do somethin' nice for you," he admitted, gesturing to the glass on the floor, which you realized now was a mug. "But I can't even do that right." You nodded at him. He looked away from you. "My dad texted me."

There it was. The truth behind his behavior. His father, what a dick.

"What did he want?" You asked gently, keeping his injured hand cradled in yours, rubbing your thumbs over it comfortingly.

"Tickets to the wembly game coming up," He explained. "I got them sorted today, but I'm... not looking forward to seeing him."

You skewed you mouth to the side, distaste flooding your mouth. The man city game was already giving Jamie enough stress and now his father had to make it worse.

"Well, I'm sorry," you told him, leaning against his arm. "But you know, the mug is just a mug. Lord knows I've dropped too many mugs to count." You giggled a little. "I mean, it's insane really. It's like my fingers are made of butter." You glanced up and saw the semblance of a smile on Jamie's face. "And it's okay to be worried about your Dad."

The smile vanished which you hated, but the conversation needed to be had. He had a tendancy to keep these things bottled up until something worse happened. He didn't want to seem 'soft' or 'needy' but that's all you wanted.

"Yeah, I know," he grumbled, still not looking at you.

You reached up and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at you. "Jamie, it's okay to be worried about your dad."

His eyebrows furrowed. He was overwhelmed by how much he loved you. How well you knew him. How much you loved him. He nodded this time, really meaning it. You pulled him down to kiss him, letting him know it was okay. You gave him a pat on the cheek.

"Alright, now clean this up, and use the broom for godssake!"

[antitheticallyargumentative]

I’m going to attempt to explain why the ending of Ted Lasso re: Jamie and his dad, bothers me so much. I know a lot of other people have made posts about this, and excellent ones, too, but I also have a lot of thoughts. These are just my opinions. Feel free to disagree. Feel free to discuss with me why you disagree. I love respectful conversations.

 This is gonna be long. sorry guys.

tw/cw- James Tartt Sr., abuse, The Amsterdam Thing

not detailed, but they are mentioned. proceed with caution and take care of yourself, please. <3

It is not the decision to have Jamie reach out to his dad that I hate. It is not even the decision to put Jamie’s dad in rehab (though I do think it was… A Choice.) To me, it’s very unsurprising that Jamie would try to reach out to his dad. Not just because of who he is as a character, but because of what this kind of lifelong abuse does to a person’s psyche. A lot of kids who come from abusive or neglectful homes have an incredibly hard time cutting off their parents. Even if they’re scared of them, even if they’re angry with them, there is still a deeply ingrained need to be loved, that maybe this time it will be different. They’ll mean it when they say they’ve changed. They’ll love me. Going no contact is fucking hard. It’s also fucking dangerous. As much as Jamie says he’s done everything he has to spite his dad, there is a part of him that deeply, desperately craves James’s approval. Of course he would visit him in rehab, because, if he’s in rehab, he’s trying, right? And maybe this time it will be different. 

But it won’t be. Because James Tartt has a pattern. A pattern of playing super dad, presumably where he cleans up his act and “makes an effort” with Jamie. Does father-son things with him, talks to him outside of asking for game tickets or telling him he played like shit (I’m hypothesizing here), lulls him into a false sense of security. And then what happens? Well, things like Amsterdam happen. And I highly doubt that was the only time he pulled that act. He likely also pulled it when he first came back into Jamie’s life, and probably other times after Amsterdam, too. What he doesn’t do, ever, though, is apologize, or take accountability for his past actions. Because James is a narcissist. At least, that’s what I would say. He feeds off Jamie’s fame and success to make himself feel bigger, important, entitled. And narcissists lack empathy. They struggle to take responsibility for their actions. They’re also, commonly, very manipulative. 

James is not an abusive piece of shit because he’s an alcoholic. He is both an abusive piece of shit AND an alcoholic. Not only does acting like he was horrid because he was drunk perpetuate the stigma of substance use disorders, it also completely takes away accountability.  James going to rehab does not change what he did. It does not fix what he’s done. It does not mean that he is magically going to win father of the year because he got sober. More likely, he’s going to continue to the cycle. I truly do not see a way in which we get to the happy ending of the show. Which brings me to my final point. 

This is not a happy ending. Jamie going to see his dad does not fix things. Jamie forgiving his dad does not take away from his trauma. Jamie should not have to forgive his dad, not for James, not for himself, not for anyone. The thing that bothers me most is that the show plays this scene like it’s closure. Like everything is OK now, and they have a good relationship, there’s no fallout, no consequences, nothing left the heal. And I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit. 

The things our parents do and say to us cut deep, at least in my experience. It doesn’t matter if they apologize, it doesn’t matter if they learn and grow, it doesn’t matter if we forgive them. That hurt stays. It sticks. You remember it. You feel it. There is no way in hell that seeing his dad wouldn’t be incredibly difficult for Jamie— just judging from what we’ve seen in the show. There’s no way it wouldn’t bring up all the trauma James has put him through, even repressed. It would not be easy. It would not be happy. And I don’t think it would be healthy. 

Whatever Jamie eventually decides to do regarding his relationship with his dad, whether its cutting him off or choosing to forgive him, which personally, I don’t think he should (but I also know that cutting off a parent is no easy feat), it would take time, it would take effort, it would be a struggle. It would take actually working through the years of abuse and trauma caused by his dad. And we don’t get any of that. We get “forgive <3” and problem solved! And honestly, I think that’s a dangerous message to be passing out. 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. (Hehe, get it?) 

[siremasterlawrence]

The Voice

Part 1 - 2

On a video call with some agents that if I am lucky perhaps by chance they might be the perfect match for me as being my agency for both voice acting and acting to be my representation.

I set everything up for the video call as I am sitting prepped up when the call comes through loudly on and I hit yes to answerthe call and I knew it this was a once in a lifetime.

The video rolls on showing me to both of the guys they smile brightly at me, giving me a wave as we begin our conversation hitting the light flicking it off and they are left in a state of confusion.

Before they can say anything the lights go on and off blinking in multitude of different colors pulling them in to a calm state of my affairs and they starting to asking me a question.

I began to go on a long journey of who I am adding coded messages leading both guys to meet me who’s and we stare deeply in to each other I can see the wave of calmness over take them both.

I point my figures towards them both of their eyes roll back to the side, they fall backward in to the sockets and the eyelids close down on big and his head falls back on to the couch.

I get excited throwing a fist pump into the air showcasing my enthusiasm to enslave both men in a fit of lust and then I begin to tame myself sitting upward and rethinking every move.

A loud crackle rolls on with the snap of my fingers as they pull upward sitting straight in the chairs and stare blankly at the screen ready for my commands so I smirk taking a deep breath.

I take a second breath checking them out from head to toe seeing the handsome, tall glasses of water and I imagine using them for many things beside enslavement of the world.

“Hello Jamie and Ashley! You can hear my clear and audible.”

“As the sound of my voice upon your wake up call.”

“We shall surrender in to total enslavement for life.”

“Yes correct! I am your Master and you are fully accepting.”

“Will you serve me willingly?”

“Most of you are corrupt and I am saving you.”

“Your clients are number one”

“I am your most important client “

“You are my number one fan”

“All you want is it please me”

“Everything you know is a lie “

“Your existence is for me, by me and in solely in service for me.”

“Mwahahahahaha! Wake up call”

“Oh what the…”

“What was I doing ?”

“Audition”

“Oh no! Right Ashley “

“We want to represent you “

Part 3 - 4

“Mr. Hardy and Eloise get the fuck in here.”could be heard in the speaker pouring in to the rooms of both agents who sighed in total audience because they were going to head to lunch.

Tom stood up knowing he is the number one agent in this damn business but hey he is still being called like a god damn assistant from the past but he puts his big boy pants on entering the elevator.

The man smirks as he says take him to the penthouse but something is off as the door shuts close and all of sudden the room is swooped up in darkness with a strange resounding sound.

The elevator sped upward in to the sky as it shoots fast reaching the pent house as the door slides open and he exist on to the main floor confused at what happen it was as if time froze.

Everything is right he thinks for second even though he is not sure why it felt like his time stopped for entire day and as he walks even further unaware of the day having turned to night.

It is dark bluish night sky peering in to the room all else begins to fade as he sees the young man sitting in his chair and his boss who is sitting on top to his desk and looks like he is swooning a bit.

“You wanted my presence at the moment boss?”

“Yes indeed! Meet your new client “

“Glad you could make it! It’s obvious you have had a wake up call.”

“I am the best damn agent in this office! How dare you call me on the speaker with that attitude?”

“Oh you’re still going on about that! You shall move on from that and focus on me.”

“I am your focal point Ellis.”

“Why fight? When you feel so free”

“I am all you see, know and want”

“YYYEEESSS “

“You have my attention “

“Then kneel and wake up call”

“Yes Master! I am your humble manger “

“Kiss my hand and embrace me”

“Sense my power”

“Comprehend my place in your life “

“I love you….Master”

“Master Lawrence! You are my world “

“Command me”

“Rise to your feet “

“My team! The four of you will be my core team.”

“Your life is about me and making me a star is your business.”

The end

The Voice Part 2

Part 5 - 6

Thomas and Taron are the studio head sons at Warner Brothers man Executive who are in for a treat and have gone through far too many headshots for the first feature to star in.

They found their first two stars at the main coupe attraction when they called my agent and I agreed to meet them as all for my slave guys sat at the sides as they put on a performance.

The man slide finishes as they tell me the goal of a story, to tell the truth about a very young adult meeting a older couple and they would start a unique relationship it could be a movie of television show.

My interest is piqued hearing the story as it it told to me all I can do I snap my fingers as my team excuses itself and they exit the office for me and I start to discuss with my part.

They listen unaware of the subtle sound of music blast through the speaker lulling them in to a slow state, and I can seem begin to blink and their bodies sway to the sound of my voice.

I rose to my feet as they match me watching my hand lift in the air, I let me fingers come together snapping my finger and everything crackles as they wake up shocked at all of my ability.

“Tom! Do you have anything to say?”

“I am in awe of your power!”

“What are you saying?”

“You are so Masterful!”

“I cannot believe this “

“It’s the truth Master Lawrence “

“How about you Taron?”

“I love you “

“You are my world “

“We will write something phenomenal “

“You will be a star “

“Tom agrees “

Part 7 - 8

“Meet your new directors”

“Your names?”

“We are the directors “

“I am Henry”

“I am Charlie”

“How do you have so much influence “

“Bois is explain it to them “

“Master Lawrence knows all and sees all”

“I am everything to them and of you”

“What? Are you crazy?”

“That email you sent”

“Absolutely! Wake up call”

“Uuuuuggggghhhhhh!”

“Fffuuuccckkkk”

“We are primed Master”

“How can we make this experience perfect”

“My list of demands”

“Your will shall be done”

The end

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 37: O Death

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M

* Warnings: language, dread, violence, kidnapping

* Word count: 1,881ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all.

Author's note: I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well! Please don’t come for me with pitchforks and torches! 😅

Feel free to scream at me in my ask box. I have a feeling we’re all going to need to.

Stella had gone out to the barn to grab Abigail to go for a night ride. The bay roan was antsy. The mare could tell Stella was anxious. Stella hadn’t really had much of a chance to take her out properly as of late, so that didn’t help.

Kayce said he loved her. That still floored her. She wasn’t sure if she was overreacting or not. Her mind tried to downplay what had happened. The last time she got ahead of herself, she ended up getting humbled really quick. She definitely didn’t want to do that this time.

Stella had a hard time comprehending why Kayce would be interested in her at all. If that’s what was truly happening here. She would have to suck it up sooner or later and find out. Then again, Kayce had bigger things going on. He was getting everything settled and finalized with his soon to be ex-wife. He had a living situation, and the time with his son to figure out. There’s no way he would have even been thinking about her during all of that.

Stella quietly led Abigail to the outside. On their way out of the barn, she spotted a solitary crow sitting on a fence nearby. Her face scrunched. A single crow? At night time? ‘What was that rhyme about crows? One for sorrow? Two for mirth? Somethin’ somethin’ blah blah.’ She felt her chest tighten at the thought of what that could mean. She’d seen one too many single crows lately. ‘You gotta stop freakin’ yourself out, girl.’ Stella heard noise ahead of her and saw Tate over at the round pen. He was alone, with what looked to be an armful of hay. She led Abigail over to the youngin’ and his horse.

“Tate, what’re you doin’ out here all by yourself?” She thought it was strange that he was allowed to come out by himself at night. Yes, the ranch was safe for all intents and purposes, but there was no way to effectively say it was safe at all times. It was late and most of the guys in the bunkhouse were out taking care of Jimmy’s problem. Stella ran a count in her head of who was still home. Jamie, Colby, Ethan, and Jake were the only ones in there. They were probably already looking at the backs of their eyelids.

The little boy latched the gate behind him, and faced her. “Grandpa said I had to feed my horse before I got dessert because it’s not fair that I’m treating myself and he’s down here hungry.”

Stella smiled. “Well he’s right, buddy. We can’t just forget about our pets,” she gently patted Abigail’s shoulder. “Do you want a ride back to the house? I’ll let you ride while I walk her.”

Tate’s eyes lit up. “Yeah!”

“Alright, bud. Come stand over here.” Stella knelt down and cupped her hands so Tate could step into them in order to give him a hike into the saddle. When he was seated safely, she handed him one of Abigail’s reins and held the other to walk her along. “So back to what your grandpa was saying.”

Tate sighed. He hadn’t been expecting a lecture from Stella.

“They depend on us. If we don’t come to help them out, they can’t just go get the hay or the feed for themselves.” Stella looked up at the boy. “They don’t have thumbs.” She wiggled her thumbs at him, successfully making him giggle.

“Yeah, you’re right, Aunt Stell. I gotta start thinking about him too.”

Stella nodded, “now you’re thinkin’ like a cowboy.” The fast crunch and skid of tires on the gravel of the hill could be heard not far behind them.

“Who’s that?” Tate questioned.

Stella’s face pulled into a frown and stopped Abigail’s motion and quickly walked around front of her. She wasn’t familiar with the van. Her stomach dropped thinking back to a few weeks ago with those men that were following her. How she said to Kayce a few nights back, “how can you be sure? There’s so many places people can sneak onto the property and we all would be none the wiser.” A couple men spilled out of the van and started to close the gap between them rapidly.

“Tate, get down now!” She clambered to catch the boy so he didn’t hit the ground too hard. She grabbed his shoulders to hold his attention. Quickly, she explained to him, “no matter what happens next, no matter what you hear, I need you to run. And if you can’t make it to the house, I need you to hide in the best hide and seek spot you can think of that’s out of sight and don’t come out until you hear someone you know! Do you understand me?”

He shook his head quickly.

“Take Abigail, use her as cover to run until you aren’t seen anymore. She’ll find someone when she runs off. Go!”

“But Aunt Stel —,” Tate started to object, but Stella cut him off.

“— I said go!! Run!” Stella yelled at him. She hated to scare him, but something was awfully wrong about the situation.

She knew Abigail would make her way back to the barn or in front of the bunkhouse. Stella needed her to be a distraction to keep Tate safe. She stalked off to the round pen. Cursing herself that she only had her hunting knife on her.

“Can I help y’all?” Stella called out to them, shocked at herself for sounding almost like Rip.

“Yeah we’re looking to get a message to John Dutton.” The lead man expressed.

“You are, huh?” She slid the knife out of its belt holster, that belonged to her and Ryan’s dad, in a fluid motion. To the men she approached it looked like she fixed her jacket. “Y’all tell me and you can leave. I’ll relay the message.” She tried to keep her eyes on the men and make sure she could see where Abigail was headed in her peripheral vision. If she couldn’t see Abigail anymore that meant Tate was one step closer to safety.

“Nah we can’t do that. We were sent with a specific purpose. You weren’t it.” The lead man confessed. Stella’s heart sank at the implication about Kayce’s son. “Now where’s the boy, Stella?”

Her hands started to go clammy. Her breathing was shallow. “How do you know my name?”

“We know a lot of things about you. About everyone here.”

The second man started to search around. Stella couldn’t see Abigail any longer. She closed her eyes for a split second and breathed hard. She prayed with every last bit of her soul that Tate was on his way to his grandpa.

“That’s nice, but you need to leave. You’re not getting anything.”

“We came for the boy, and we will not let anyone, let alone some girl, stop us.” The lead man yelled to his partner, “Cut out farther until you find him. I’ll take care of her.”

Stella turned abruptly, starting to make a mad dash for the bunkhouse. Her burning legs wanted to give out, but she pushed them to go faster. She could hear the lead man behind her as he gained length on her. He was almost on top of her and she panicked. She grabbed a piece of rebar sticking out of the sand by the round pen and swung it at the face of the lead man, hard. Stella swung as if she was trying for a home run.

The man’s jaw snapped shut and reopened as he let out a deafening scream. He grabbed the bar tight and yanked her toward him. “You filthy bitch!” The man’s words came out garbled. He gripped up Stella’s hair and pulled as hard as he could.

Stella stabbed at the man with her knife, but in her panic she didn’t have a good hold. She punctured his leg and he howled in pain. It didn’t have the desired effect Stella had wanted. She jabbed wildly and got him in his side twice before the lead man was able to slip it out of her hands.

Tate must have seen her struggle because he screamed her name loud and clear from not far off, “Aunt Stella!!”

“Fuck!” She wrestled with the man to get her balance back and his hand out of her hair. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Tate as he ran over to her. “Tate, I said run to the house!” Stella screamed at him.

Tate continued to dart toward her, he wanted to get the men away from Stella. He was snatched up by the second man she’d lost sight of.

“Stella!!” His tiny voice hollered. Tate struggled against the second man’s grasp.

Stella broke loose from the lead man and started to scramble for the second, but was grabbed from behind. “Fuck you piece of shit! Let us go!”

A fist hammered down onto her head from the man that had her, knocking her glasses off her face. She groaned as her vision blurred. She tried to get her foot behind or under the man’s leg, to sweep his foot out but he stayed on top of it. His arms were wrapped around the top of hers as she struggled to gain some high ground. She didn’t want to do this, but she didn’t have any other option but to ram her head backwards into his nose as hard as she could. She hoped she would break it.

Stella and the lead man both cried out, and he loosened his grip. Her head started to thump wildly. Quickly slipping her right arm out of the weak hold he had on it, Stella wrapped it around the lead man’s neck and tried to flip him like she would a calf. They both hit the ground and groaned. Stella was winded and half woozy, but scrambled her way to standing.

She ran forward trying to make it closer to the bunkhouse. A silent prayer was said. Stella let out a scream she hoped would be heard by the entire ranch. “Colby! Anyone help!!” She would have gotten away if the other man hadn’t been enraged and made his way back for her after getting Tate in the van.

“Fuck!” She squeaked out. He gripped her up by the neck making her lose air and landed a solid fist to her face that dazed her. Her posture drooped and the man behind her let her fall to the ground.

She tried to claw her way back to standing to run toward the van. Both men kicked her sides, her head, her arms; anything they could get at to make sure she stayed down. The bunkhouse was too far away to have heard their screams clearly. She couldn’t breathe from the wind being knocked out of her and her vision was starting to go. No one was coming this time. With one final attempt to crawl back to her feet to get to the van, the lead man landed a knockout blow to her chin with his foot and Stella stopped moving all together. That solitary crow cawed and fluttering wings was the last thing Stella heard.

[lpmurphy]

One Two

Fic Summary: Who she once was became fuzzier as the years went on; blurrier around the edges, like a scope that was out of focus. But in all of the memories that remained hers, there was him.

Chapter Summary: Riz has a bad idea. Vannak thinks otherwise.

Note: Riz and Vannak have been living in my head rent free for weeks now, and can stay as long as they would like. Please enjoy my self indulgent attempt to give them the better we were robbed of.

Two: Bugs in a Jar

IT wasn’t all bad or scary. At least, not the whole time. After the second year, Riz stopped missing home. It became clear that she wasn’t going back there. They all asked in those early days when they first arrived. At first, the question was ignored each time they asked it, or they made them do push ups for talking back. Soren did a lot of push ups. 

The final time the question was asked was during one of their ‘tests’ with Doctor Halsey. Sensors and wires would be stuck to their bodies and they would be given a task to do in a group of four. Doctor Halsey and her team would stand behind a window and take notes while they worked. The tasks were always difficult; she realized as they got older that it was never about the task being solved, but rather how they worked together to solve it. She had been paired with Julia, Li, and Louis when Julia asked Doctor Halsey when they could go home. She missed her brother, she told her. Jamie was little. He didn’t know the way from his classroom to their mother’s class yet. She was supposed to walk with him after the bell, and was worried he’d be scared to do it by himself. But Doctor Halsey only tilted her head and stared back at her like she was examining a bug in a jar. 

“My dear girl,” she said softly. “You are home.”

No one asked again after that.

Home became harder to remember, too. Instead of a memory, it became a lingering feeling, like an old familiar body ache that settled into the cracks of her unknowing. A dull throb that she pushed against and worked through, ignoring it until the next blow would come and bring with it the next wave that distracted her from the first. She pushed it down each time; let it beat against her like she was the rock upon which those waves crashed, undeterred and unminding of the ache. 

Pain was weakness, they had told her. She wouldn’t have time to feel it. Feeling it would get her killed, or others for that matter. There was only time to move forward, so she did. No complaints. No tears. Those were for children. And after all, she wasn’t a child. She was a Spartan. Spartans don’t cry, and neither would she. She never mentioned that pain. Doctor Halsey would have used it as a reason to run more tests and find a reason to make it go away. She wasn’t sure that she wanted it to go away. It belonged to her. Nothing much belonged to her anymore. She preferred to protect the things that did, even if they did hurt. It was hers to feel, after all. 

After a while, it just became normal. Like a growing pain that she just had to ignore. Sometimes they had fun, too. A different kind of fun, but she would take it wherever she could find it. 

She made friends, too. After they all had been paired together, she stuck with the same few. Kai wanted to talk, and was pretty funny. Nora and Julia were nice, and she liked that their beds were close to hers. John was quiet and preferred to listen, so he and Kai spent a lot of time together, even when she could tell he didn’t really want to. But she and Vannak got along the best. They didn’t have to talk, or try to find what value the other could provide to them. They could just be, and she liked that the best. They’d sit on his bunk together while they worked on their cognitive trainings and neither of them would say a word. They would just be. She liked just being with him. 

He was still the biggest. A head taller than the rest of the boys, and broad, too. She still had to look up at him like she had the first time they met. Much to his delight, he was stronger than the rest of them. Their instructors were pleased by it too; he took down his opponents quickly when they had to do hand-to-hand combat and was never overpowered. He always won, and she knew he liked winning. Especially when the others would wager their dessert privileges or better chores on who would win.  It seemed like it took him even less time on those occasions. 

However, every time they had to go up against each other though, he was more careful that he was with the others. Usually, he was ruthless; a fluid series of quick movements that would leave his opponent on their back before they ever knew it had started. It pissed her off the first time she felt his grip loosen before he swept her off of her feet. She didn’t need to be treated like she was delicate. She wasn’t delicate, and had told him as much before she stormed out of the gym and didn’t speak to him for two days until their names were called again. 

That time, he didn’t hesitate before slamming her onto her back and knocked the air out of her lungs. Once she caught her breath, he held out his hand in a silent offer and she let him help her up without a word. They spent all of their downtime in the gym that evening while he taught her how to deflect the move he had used on her until she could do it every time. She tried to hide her smile each time he told her, ‘nice job, Red’ until she just couldn’t anymore. 

He was the only one allowed to call her that. Karim did once. She threw him down the way Vannak taught her and bent his wrist back until he tapped out and apologized. 

Her favorite part was when they turned eight and they were given their jobs. She wasn’t sure when she turned eight. It had been like when she turned seven and was just told that she was seven now. Eight had been no different. She was just eight until they decided to tell her that she was nine. 

They all got different jobs based upon the things they were good at. Languages became her job. As long as she could remember, she liked words. Their meanings and how they were formed and the way they felt in her mouth. She could remember two voices that spoke in different languages, but it felt like she was trying to listen to someone whisper in a different room. Their faces were never fully formed in her mind. Instead, it was just a warm glow. A feeling.  She tried to force herself to remember and sometimes she could; a flash of hair the same color as hers or a man’s rumbling laughter. But it was getting harder to remember now. Needless, she had been excited when they told her she would train to become a linguist. The word felt familiar in her mouth when she whispered it to herself in bed that night. She couldn’t wait to figure out why. 

During the day, after morning PT, hand-to-hand drills, firearms proficiency, and class with Déjà, they would be sent off for their specialized training before tactical exercises in the afternoon. It was her favorite part of the day. She would spend two hours learning different languages; how they were spoken and all of the different dialects, how to identify those different dialects and where they were from, and to speak it herself. She’d be given her assignment for the day and was always the first to turn it in because she would get too excited, but never went so quickly that she got the answers wrong. 

Sometimes she would teach Vannak what she learned, and he would teach her what he learned. Dr. Halsey said he had a scientific mind, so most of his studies surrounded chemistry, engineering, and physics. She taught him sign language, which was her favorite out of all the languages she had learned so far. Each gesture had to be done perfectly right in order to  be understood, which she liked because sometimes words just couldn’t be perfectly said, and with this she didn’t have to say anything at all. Vannak liked it because it was quiet, too. They would trade before lights out - a new sign for a fact. They would sit on his bunk, he would tell her something new and fascinating, and she would take his hand and bend his fingers until they made the right shape. It always took him a couple of tries, and he would ask her to move his fingers again and again, which surprised her. He was usually a really fast learner. 

They used it to silently communicate when the instructors weren’t looking or when they didn't want the others to know what they were saying. Vannak learned all the naughty words that Soren taught them and tried to make her laugh at inappropriate times. One time he did while Mendez was doing uniform inspections, and they had to run a mile for each year of their age. It was the only time she wished they hadn’t told her she turned eight. Vannak got better at being sneaky, and she stopped laughing.

Her favorite thing she taught him was when she learned about sign names; a gesture picked specifically for a specific person to identify them. It reminded her of their numbers; there was only one 28 and one 134. Picked specifically for a specific person. When she told him about them that evening before lights out after he told her about quantum mechanics, he took her hands excitedly and placed his own in them, waiting for her instruction.

“Show me mine,” he said. He placed his palms under hers and her cheeks felt hot for a moment. 

“It doesn’t work like that.” She didn’t move her hands from his. Just stared down at his fingers below her own. “You have to come up with it on your own,” she explained. 

He nodded slowly, like he was thinking of a dozen different ways to reply. She had seen John do the same hundreds of times, like he was weighing each response. “Okay…” he said. “Then you come up with one for me, and I’ll come up with one for you.”

That burning feeling returned as she thought. They considered each other for a few moments before he nodded and told her that he had hers. His hand slipped out from under hers to lift it to his face in a movement like he was stroking his lips with his pointer finger. Red. Her lips lifted into a small smile.

“Show me mine,” he nodded, returning her smile. She lifted two fingers to her bicep in a V and his smile only widened. He shifted closer to her on the bed and took her hands again, “What else can you show me?”

She taught him the differences between German and French Sign Language until they called lights out and she returned to her bunk. He signed to her the way he did every night from the bed across from hers, but a new sign followed it before he turned over onto his side. 

Goodnight, Red.

She smiled and repeated the sign he waited for back to him before he closed his eyes.

Goodnight, Vannak.

She turned over on her bed as well and ignored the wide grin Kai offered her. Her own only returned when she turned her back to Kai. 

----

Sometimes her assignments came with readings. Those were her favorite. Books or articles would be sent to her pad, and her task was to identify the language, the regional dialect used and what star systems used it, what century the dialect originated from, and to translate the entire document into whatever language she was directed to by the AI responsible for her training.

This time, a handwritten field book about carnivorous birds written in the messiest Turkish she had ever seen had been delivered to her pad. She was halfway done with translating the couple hundred pages into Southwestern Mandarin when Vannak sat down heavily on the foot of her bunk and pulled her pad towards himself. 

“What did Hugo give you this time?”

With a roll of her eyes, she jerked her pad back and set it back on her bunk. She explained the assignment to him, swatting his hand away each time he tried to pull it back to himself. Finally, he caught her hand before she could push his away and pulled her pad to him again.

“Stop hitting me and let me see!” His brow quirked up as he looked over a pencil sketch of a vulture, neatly labeled in the messy handwriting she had learned to decipher. He slid his finger across the display, flipping to the next page to study the next image with the same quiet intensity.

“If you lose my place, I’ll start hitting harder,” she quipped. He didn’t fire back a retort or sign back an insult like he usually would. Instead, he examined the image curiously and zoomed in on the spidery text surrounding it. 

“What does it say?” He asked.

He returned to the image of a large, regal looking bird with a hooked beak and the same hard stare she had seen on his face so many times. She crossed her legs under her to make room for him and he sprawled out on his stomach beside her. 

“Don’t you want to go first?” 

“I always go first,” he said. “It’s your turn. What does this say?”

He nudged the pad towards her and pointed at one of the blocks of writing. Turkish was still tricky, but reading out loud was helpful sometimes. Vannak was always willing to listen to her read through the more difficult translations. She followed his finger and read the name of the animal aloud. 

“It’s a cinereous vulture,” she said, “It says that the scientist that observed it had been tracking its flight patterns for over eight months.”

Requests for further translations came between his wide eyed examinations of the illustration, zooming in and out to look over the bird’s taloned feet and the shading on its feathers. His voice changed with each enthralled request - an excited whisper rather than the always serious monotone she knew. It made her want to laugh, but she wasn’t sure why. He had seen sketches like these before; they’d all started field sketching with Déjà a few weeks back. John had been the best at it, which surprised everyone but John. 

“Someone drew these?” He murmured. “They must have been so close to it.” 

“A biologist did. They’re really old, though.” 

“Cool…” he flipped to the next image. He looked over the sketch of five hawks huddled on a branch, their hard, predatory stares all locked on the artist. He leaned her pad towards her again, “What does that say?”

“They’re called Harris’s hawks. They hunt in packs. They wrote that most are solitary, but the most successful ones form packs that they rely upon for food.”

Without lifting his eyes from the display, he smiled. He was quiet for a moment before he nudged it towards her and shifted again on her bunk so that his head rested on her pillow,  “Read me the rest?” 

She laid down beside him, their heads tilted towards each other as she raised her pad above their faces. “Fine, but you owe me two new things, then.”

“Deal.”

She read page after page while he listened. His eyes never left the page, but at times it felt like eyes were on her. She must have been imagining it, though. Every time she looked over, his eyes were still locked on her pad until lights out.

She wasn’t the first to submit her assignment that time. She was okay with that. 

Vannak rattled off every fact she had told him to anyone who would listen the following morning during breakfast. Julia told her afterwards that it was the most she thought she had ever heard him talk. John kept listening long after everyone else stopped. He was always really good at that.

The following evening ended no differently. This time, however, she had gotten in trouble for asking for an extension on her assignment and had to spend the night scrubbing toilets in the locker rooms before she could go back. It wasn’t that bad. Soren was there too, so at least she had company. He was there most nights. When she arrived back at the barracks, Vannak was already sitting on her bunk with his feet tucked under him like he had been waiting for her for a while. 

“You first?” He asked before she even sat down. The excitement that edged his voice made her raise an eyebrow.

“I went first yesterday,” she said. The harsh smell of bleach still clung to her clothes and filled her nose. She wanted to take a shower before they shared, but Vannak didn’t budge. “It’s your turn.”

“I always go first,” he said. Which was true, but she didn’t say anything. “Do you still have that book?”

She shook her head and sat down across from him without sitting on her pillow. The last thing she wanted was for her pillow to smell like the toilets while she was trying to sleep. “I had to return it to Hugo when I finished my assignment. He pulled it from my pad as soon as I was done.”

The way his shoulders sank made hers too. Disappointment flickered across his face. “Can you get it back? I didn’t get to see all of it.” The disappointment remained when she shook her head and explained that Hugo and Doctor Halsey dictated what reading materials she received, and how long she’d have it for. “That’s too bad,” he shrugged. “I liked looking at it with you.”

Disappointment was replaced by the stony expression he always wore. Usually it wouldn’t bother her, the familiarity was actually nice most of the time, but seeing it made her stomach twist. Assuming that it was just from the lingering cleaning fumes, she swallowed it down and listened as he shared about wave-particle duality with less enthusiasm than he usually would. It lacked the same breathless, almost too fast way he’d usually talk about something that interested him, and she hadn’t realized that the sound of someone not taking a breath at all between sentences was something she’d grow to miss. She’d never stop being friends with Kai then, she decided. She’d miss her way too much if that was the case.

Before he could switch from explaining wavelength trajectories to velocities, she interjected with a tumble of blurted words that shattered the stoic mask he wore and lifted his lips into a smile she had only ever seen on Soren, which instantly made her wish she could take it back. 

“I have an idea.”

----

It was a bad idea. 

An awful idea. 

Şimdiye kadarki en kötü fikir.

She knew that.

But Vannak kept telling her that it was going to be fine, and he had never been wrong before. So, she went along with it. 

Vannak stood beside her with his back pressed against the wall. The academic wing of the trailing facility stretched beyond them under dim lighting. The building was silent, save for the occasional footstep or whispered conversations between night guards. Riz wiggled her fingers and waited for Vannak’s signal to move. What surprised her most was not that she had agreed to sneak out of the barracks far past curfew to ‘redistribute’ UNSC property, as Vannak put it, but that they hadn’t been caught yet. 

She had been sure that they were going to be seized by the collars of their shirts and dragged off to the first superior officer that could be found when they snuck out of the barracks and into the training facilities. But despite his size, Riz was reminded of just how light Vannak was on his feet. She always preferred to be paired with him during stealth exercises because of it. Each turn and crouch in the shadows to avoid passerbys only added to the bit of brave she felt in his presence. 

But, being brave didn’t mean she had to be stupid, too. And this was definitely stupid.

“Are you sure about this?” She whispered. 

Vannak glanced around the wall of the doorway alcove they stood huddled in before he motioned for her to cross to the next. He followed a moment after her with a final look down the hall and joined her, his shoulder pressing into hers. 

“You said it yourself; all of the books are kept in the archive database in the classrooms. All we have to do is sneak in, get into the database, and make it look like Hugo downloaded them onto your pad. It’s so easy, I could do it in my sleep.”

He glanced again and motioned for her to stop at the sound of footsteps. Loud whistling grew nearer in a jaunty tune before it passed and took the sound of footsteps with it. They both pressed their backs to the wall, and she waited for Vannak to give her the signal. He glanced down at her with a smile, but it felt different that the usual toothy grin he met her with. 

“Don’t you trust me?” He whispered.

Of course she trusted him. Over the past years, she’d trusted all of them with her life. She knew he could get them without anyone knowing. One of his jobs was to hack into datasystems and retrieve information without being noticed. After his last assignment where he retrieved personnel files on high ranking officials from behind high security firewalls, she was confident that he could download a few books to her pad and go undetected. But the feeling that spread through her chest in a warm crawl didn’t feel like it stemmed from that. She figured it was just his little bit of brave he shared with her. She nodded.

“Good,” He smiled. “Follow my lead.”

He swept the doorway over his shoulder to check if they were clear before she crossed to the next wall and assumed the same position. He remained until he glanced again and turned to meet her eyes with a nod before he followed behind, careful to remain out of the reach of the hallway lights before he joined her in the shadows again.

The classroom door sat on the opposite side of the hall from the alcove they tucked into. A satisfied smirk lifted her lips at the sight of the darkened classroom through the open doorway. She gestured for Vannak to follow her and started across the hall, but before she could take a full step, fingers knotted in the back of her shirt and yanked her back against the wall.

“What was that f-?” She hissed, but a hand clapped over her mouth before she could finish. She swatted his arm away but Vannak pushed her back against the wall and turned to face her. His hand covered her mouth again and he brought a finger to his lips before he brought his free hand to his mouth and crossed it over his lips. His eyes didn’t leave hers as he dropped it, then turned his palm towards his chest and wiggled his fingers. 

Quiet. Wait.

She licked his palm in hopes that he would drop it from her mouth in disgust, but he only pushed harder. Attempts to free herself were forgotten when the sound of heels clicked down the hall, followed by a familiar muted voice. He must have heard it before she did. She kicked herself as the noise grew nearer. If this had been a simulation, she would have gotten ripped apart for being complacent and leading her team into defeat. 

The voice grew closer and Vannak dropped his hand so that he could press against the wall beside her, facing the same way as the direction of the steps in hopes that they would walk by undetected. Both watched wide eyed as Doctor Halsey passed through the hallway, still speaking lowly to herself as she dictated notes on her pad. Both were silent and still while she turned the corner, and remained that way until they could no longer hear the omnipotent click of her shoes against the floors.

She puffed out a breath and turned to face Vannak. He brought a fist to his forehead and lifted his pinky, a smirk breaking his hard stare. 

Idiot.

She smacked his hand down and stuck out her tongue, but she smirked too. This time, she waited for his signal before she followed him across the hall into the dark room and closed the door behind them noiselessly.

“You should teach everyone to do that,” he grinned. “It would be so much easier if we all could sign.”

She returned his grin with a small smile and nodded, but it felt dishonest. She didn’t intend to. 

“Don’t turn on the lights,” he whispered. He neared the monitors with her pad in hand while she stood guard at the door, her eyes fixed down the hall. “No reason to draw any attention.”

“This is a bad idea, Vannak,” she whispered back. She pulled her eyes from the hall to glance over at where he stood over the monitors working furiously.

“Don’t be a baby, Red,” he didn’t look up as he spoke, but the corner of his mouth tugged up like he could feel her scowl from the door. 

“I’m not a baby.”

“Then stop acting like one,” he shrugged. “This was your idea, after all. It’ll only take me a couple of more minutes, and then we can go back to the barracks.”

She shot him a nasty look from the door. It was her idea, but she didn’t like him pointing it out. Nor did she ever like it when he was right, even though he had only ever been right a few times. But it didn’t matter to him; he’d bring it up every chance he could and his face would get all smug and stupid and she wanted to punch it. She never let him be right often, and he usually let her be, because it hurt less to just pretend that she was.

“Fine,” she snapped. “Go faster.”

He waved a dismissive hand and signed for her to keep her eyes on the hall. She turned back to her post, but her eyes strayed from the hall to watch as he worked. His fingers moved between displays and monitors as he checked between the database and her pad. They’d worked together on multiple simulations before, but she had never had an opportunity to watch him work. Only participate beside him. His brows furrowed as he looked between displays, his tongue poking between his teeth the same way it did when he was focusing on a target. He glanced up and she looked away, her face feeling hot despite the cool temperatures of the empty room. 

He waved her over to him and returned his eyes to her pad. With a final sweep of the hallway, she crossed the room to stand beside him, both looking down at her pad. The smug, punchable look returned as he showed her the downloaded titles, “I told you.”

She shook her head and looked over the titles again. The field book, along with a few other similar titles sat displayed on the screen, along with another. She read over the title of the book of French folklore someone else had been assigned the week prior and looked up at him.

“You said you wanted to read it last week,” he said sheepishly. “That’s the right one, isn’t it?”

She nodded. She didn’t remember telling him. He smiled, “Maybe you could read this one to me, too?”

Before she could nod again, the room was washed in a bright flicker of light. Riz felt her blood run ice cold. She assumed that the same chill ran through Vannak when he straightened up with a stunned expression. They both snapped up to face the figure that stood beside the light switch.

Doctor Halsey stared back at them from the doorway, expressionless. She didn’t say a word. Neither did they. They both straightened up, but Riz would have preferred that they had been caught by anyone else when Halsey cocked a pale brow.

“What do you two think you are doing?” she asked. 

Riz learned early on that when most adults asked her what she was doing, it wasn’t because they actually wanted an answer. It just meant stop. But Doctor Halsey wasn’t most adults. She raised her eyebrows, imploring them to answer, but both were still too surprised to see her to speak. Her eyes fell to the pad in Riz’s hands, and her stone faced stare did not break as she held out an anticipatory hand. “Give it to me.”

Riz placed the pad in her hand and stepped back beside Vannak. She felt like her insides had been scooped out when Halsey scrolled through her pad. Without looking up at either of them, she asked, “Whose idea was this?”

Riz felt her heart leap from her stomach into her throat when Doctor Halsey lifted her eyes from the pad to settle on Vannak. She stepped forward, “It was my-.”

Vannak’s voice rose over her own as he stepped ahead of her, “It was my idea, ma’am.”

Riz’s neck twisted to look up at him, surprise creasing her face, but Vannak remained straight and tall as he stared ahead. She opened her mouth to argue, but he held up a hand behind his back. It brought her to a halt. They all knew that signal. It was a clear command, so she followed orders. It didn’t stop the sinking feeling that settled into her belly when Halsey raised a brow again in silent demand.

“Am I to understand, 134, that not only are you out of bed after curfew in the company of a fellow Spartan; but you have used your little midnight walk to hack into a secure database to download unauthorized files?” She asked quietly, but Riz got the feeling that she always got when Halsey asked them questions. Like she already knew the answer and was waiting to see if they gave her the same one.

Vannak nodded, “Yes, ma’am. I convinced 028 to come with me. If anyone should get punished, it should be me, ma’am.” 

Something she didn’t recognize fluttered in her chest. She glanced over at where he stood straight and unwavering as Halsey examined him, searching for something. He gave her nothing to find as he stood on his lie, and Riz stayed firm beside him. Halsey remained quiet for a long time, watching over them like they were specimens and she was waiting for them to do something to interest her. Heavy silence fell between them and it felt like it was pressing her down under it. The longer the silence remained, the harder it became to stay still. When Doctor Halsey said nothing, it was usually worse than when she spoke. But she continued to look at them. They stayed quiet. One of Vannak’s hands fluttered at his side.

It’s okay.

She believed him.

Halsey’s eyes dropped to the movement and Vannak quickly pressed his hand to his leg, palm flat against his sleep pants. Steely gray eyes lifted to look between the two of them.

“Interesting,” she whispered. She turned and motioned for them to follow her, “With me, Spartans.”

They exchanged a tight look and fell in behind her. Silently, they trailed behind her as she led them out of the facilities. Possible punishments raced through her mind as they followed her. Nothing seemed worse than the psychological evaluation she was sure they would be subjected to after an act of insubordination. Soren said that those were worse than whatever physical punishment he received, and she assumed that he would know better than anyone. But if Vannak was worried about the same, he didn’t show it.

They continued to follow, and Riz felt her dread disintegrate into confusion when Halsey led them in the opposite direction of the SLQs and towards the barracks. She wondered if it had all just been a strange dream when Halsey placed her hand on the access scanner and led them through the doors. When Doctor Halsey turned to a night guard to explain that she was returning them from physical examinations that ran into the night, Riz was convinced she was dreaming.

Doctor Halsey stopped at the doorway and glanced in to look over the sleeping forms of the rest of the Spartans. Evaluating eyes turned back to them a final time.

“If I find you two out of bed after curfew again, you can I expect a different outcome. Understood?” She said quietly.

They both nodded, Riz still considering her cautiously. Certainly, this had to be one of her tests. She started to consider outcomes, what could possibly be coming next as they both whispered their apologies. But the twist she feared didn’t come. Halsey nodded her head towards their empty bunks and whispered, “Go to sleep.”

Neither wasted any time following her orders as they slunk back across the dark barracks. Halsey waited in the doorway, still watching while they climbed into their bunks and turned over onto their sides. She remained in the doorway, still watching a moment longer. But the way she looked out over them didn’t make Riz feel quite like a bug in a jar as it usually did before she turned and disappeared back up the door hall. 

Once they were sure her footsteps were inaudible, both sat up on their bunks, eyes still adjusting to the dark and hearts racing as they scrambled to the ends of their beds. Riz swallowed hard against the thundering that she could feel in her throat. Vannak was the first to lift his hands.

Are you alright?

She ignored his question and instead asked her own that had been racing in her mind since the lights came on. Why did you lie?

Vannak didn’t hesitate before he signed back. I didn’t want you to get in trouble.

Riz recoiled slightly as she watched his hands. It had been her idea that had almost gotten him in trouble, after all. He should be mad at her, not worried about what the consequences of her own stupid idea brought on to her. But it was my idea, she tilted her head. Why did you do that?

Vannak’s hand dropped into his lap, that stoic expression returning as he considered her from where he sat that told her that he was thinking. Finally, he raised a hand and gestured between himself and her. Because you’re my best friend. His lips tugged up into a small smile. We take care of each other. Got it?

She didn’t need to think like he did. Got it.

She wasn’t sure what made her bounce forward to press a kiss to his cheek. Vannak sat on the edge of his bed silently, his eyes wide like he was stunned. She couldn’t recall a time when she had seen him surprised before, not even when Halsey had walked into the room. Everything he did was handled with the same silent steady that he had been for as long as she could remember. A steady presence in which she could rely upon. She trusted him as if he were simply a part of herself. 

He remained silent, and she wondered for a moment if she had upset him until he smiled that big smile that stretched his whole face. Relief loosened the knot in her gut when he lifted his hand again to sign goodnight before he climbed into bed.

She smiled too. She hadn’t smiled much since they got here. There wasn’t much reason to. But he seemed to always find a way to make her even when she couldn’t find that reason. She didn’t stop smiling as she crawled into bed and turned over onto her side.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Heyyy! here’s a prompt: James and Sirius are tired of constantly turning people down and watching their food for Amortentia or any variation of it so they decide to pretend to be gay and in love. Please make them get together for real in the end :)))

((Note: This fic was written by starlitmusings our newest author! It's ~9k, so you can read below, or on her AO3))

Early morning light filters through the thin curtains of the sixth-year boys’ dormitory, bathing the room with a soft golden hue. James, whose bed is closest to the window, stretches lazily and looks over to the sleeping boy curled next to him.

“Pads,” he whispers. There’s a stray lock of hair falling across his friend’s face, and James has the strange but familiar urge to tuck it in behind his ear and—

And what? Ruin the relationship you have with the most important person in your life?  James dispels the thought with the ease of someone who’s had to do it many times before. “Pads,” he says again, giving him a gentle push. “Wake up, we’ll be late. The others will hog the loo if we don’t get up first.”

Sirius stirs, feels the light on the exposed parts of his body, and promptly locks his legs around James. He blindly finds the crook of James’ neck and buries his face into it with a mumbled, “Don’t want to. ‘M comfy.”

James resists the urge to laugh and instead jams a finger into his shoulder. 

“Ow! Bloody hell, you fucking traitor,” Sirius yelps as he pulls away from James. He sits up slowly and stretches with a yawn, and James finds his gaze drawn to the way the light hits the hard, Quidditch-toned planes of Sirius’ bare chest and arms. 

“I can’t skive off of classes anymore, Sirius, you know that. Besides, you need time to get your hair care routine in or you’ll be a brat all day,” James replies once he wills his eyes to look anywhere but his half-naked friend. The friend that’s half-naked on his bed, his brain promptly supplies, and James mentally kicks himself for the thought.

“Stupid Dumbledore and his stupid decision to make you the stupid Head Boy,” Sirius grumbles. “And I don’t even have a bloody hair care routine, Jamie, you should know that the generational inbreeding took care of that.”

James laughs, trying not to show just how much he agrees with Sirius’ words and heads over to the bathroom with Sirius hot on his heels despite his muttered complaints. Not five minutes, later, Remus and Peter are barging in and kicking them out for taking too long, and James throws Sirius a smug I-told-you-so grin. Sirius rolls his eyes. 

As they’re pulling on their uniforms, Sirius approaches James with an uncharacteristic hesitation. “Prongs,” he begins. “We’re mates, right?”

James nods. “Obviously.” 

“I was thinking, we always share a bed, right?” 

“Right,” James says slowly, unsure of where this is heading.

“And are constantly with each other and want to be near each other, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“So I was thinking—” he’s cut off by the bathroom door slamming open and Remus coming out.

“Morning,” he greets them. “Have you seen my sweater? The one with—”

“In my trunk,” James interrupts. Remus pulls it out with a triumphant grin and pecks James on the cheek. “I need to leave a little early to talk to Minnie about my last essay,” he says as he rushes out the door. “See you at breakfast.” 

There’s silence for a minute before Peter rushes out similarly to Remus just had. Finally free of their dormmates, James turns to Sirius with a raised eyebrow. Go on.  

“Y’know how there’s a Hogsmeade weekend coming up?”

“Sure, so?”

“Well, I was thinking that I’d rather not be accosted by a bunch of people asking for a date when we’re not interested. So let’s pretend we’re dating.”

James blinks, stares, and blinks again. “Come again?”

Sirius sighs, his fingers fiddling with the hems of his sleeves. James thinks he sees the beginning of a light blush on his cheeks, but he also thinks Sirius just said he wants to date him so his mental facilities were clearly malfunctioning. Until Sirius repeats, more slowly this time, “Let’s pretend we’re dating.”

He had heard Sirius loud and clear the first time, but he still can't believe what he’s hearing. He’s not nearly awake or caffeinated enough to handle the love of his life asking him out. Never mind that Sirius wants it to be fake, whatever that means. 

“Um,” he starts. “Wait, what exactly do you—”

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake, Jamie,” Sirius says exasperatedly. “I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend to stop random people from confessing to me. Last week a bloke sent a dwarf to sing me a poem about how he’s going to drink a potion to spontaneously create himself a vagina so I can put babies in him. Like, what the fuck, no thank you.”

“You…didn’t tell me that,” James says, wide-eyed with a mixture of horror and awe. Before he can filter his words — though Merlin knows is his brain is capable of that now — he blurts out, “I’ll do it, obviously, but why me?”

“You know what everyone says, we’re basically a married couple already. Nobody else can make it convincing enough. You’re the best candidate.”

“And Remus can’t because…?”

“You know he’s got his eyes on Regulus.” Sirius scrunches his nose and makes a disgusted sound. “Which is, like, wrong on so many levels I wouldn’t even know where to begin."

James lets out a stangled laugh. “Okay, I get it. But why me, and you know, not someone you actually want to ask out?”

“If I wanted to ask someone out, I wouldn’t be having this problem, now would I?” Sirius retorts. “Besides, you were complaining after Potions the other day about how you caught some girls sneaking Amortentia to slip into our drinks. I was thinking, this way we both benefit and it’s not as awkward as it would be with a stranger.”

This was starting to sound like a horrible idea, but James knew he was going to go through with it regardless as soon as Sirius made his offer. “We’ll need a cover story if we want to get anyone to believe us.”

Sirius nods, pulling James behind him and they make their way down to the Great Hall. “That’s easy since most people think we’re dating already. Let’s just say that we fancied each other for years. It all came to a head this summer when I moved in with you. We’ve actually been dating since summer but we’re only making it official now.”

James hums as he thinks it over. “And Moony and Pete don’t know about this?”

Sirius waves his hand in a careless gesture. “Eh. We’ll tell them the real reason later.” He eyes James carefully, then laces their fingers together. “The rumours will start faster this way,” he says by way of explanation, and James prays on all the gods he doesn’t believe in that Sirius doesn’t notice his racing heartbeat. 

As predicted, whispers and curious glances towards the pair begin as soon as they enter the Great Hall. Sirius turns to James with a gleeful grin and pulls on his hand to press a kiss on his knuckles. There are some squeals and James thinks he sees a third-year pass out, and he’d be lying if he weren’t close to doing the same. 

“What the fuck, you guys,” Remus hisses to them as they sit down. “We were gone for less than ten minutes!”

“We’ll have you know, our darling, precious Moonbeam,” says Sirius, “that James and I are very efficient. Would’ve been a shame if it took longer than that to declare our undying love to each other.”

Remus scoffs. “Would’ve been normal, you mean, considering that your love is neither undying nor existent.”

“How dare you. We are disgustingly in love, I’ll have you know,” Sirius counters, and wraps an arm around James pointedly. James flushes and turns away from Remus’ knowing gaze.

This was going to be a long week.

It doesn’t take long before everyone in Hogwarts is aware of the relationship status of the school’s two most desired students. Most of the upper years congratulate them as they collect their bet winnings and comment on how good they look together, and one fifth-year shyly tells them that their bravery to come out helped them come out to their friends too. 

In hindsight, James realizes that coming out wasn’t even a factor in his decision to fake a relationship. It’s never been a secret that he was bisexual, but it makes sense that a lot of people are surprised since he never publicly announced it. He expects to feel somewhat uneasy, but it’s surprisingly easy to fall into a pattern with his best friend. Sirius was right in that there are hardly any differences in their relationship now that they’re dating — apart from random pecks and hand-holding, which never fail to make James’ stomach explode with butterflies. 

Later that week, when all the sixth-year Gryffindors are lounging on the sofas nearest to the fire, Lily looks at them cheekily. “You boys are remembering to use protection, right?” she asks with a grin. James sputters and throws a pillow at her. Sirius just laughs and reassures her that, yes, darling, of course we are.

James wishes what Sirius said was true. He mostly wishes that he wasn’t in love with his best friend and that he had never agreed to this stupid plan. While he had always pined from afar before, it was much harder to hide his feelings when the object of his desires was now so close.  

“This is the place?” Regulus asks doubtfully, eyeing two little girls in pigtails eating a cloud of pink fluff near the entryway. “The Muggle — uh, park for amusement?”

Remus bounces in excitement, eyes lit up. “Yes! I’m so glad you all agreed to come. This place has been one of my favourite places since I was young.” 

Regulus’ eyes soften as he reaches over to fix his boyfriend’s scarf. “Then I’m glad you brought me here.”

Sirius mimes gagging as the new couple rolls their eyes. James grins and nudges Sirius. 

“ You’re the one who agreed to have a double date instead of eating through our Honeydukes stash together,” he reminds him. 

Sirius huffs. “You can’t expect to resist Reg when he does those eyes on me! And Remus joining in? I was doomed from the start.”

“Says the one who’s actually a dog,” Regulus deadpans. “You of all people should be immune to puppy eyes.”

“I think becoming an Animagus made me less immune, actually,” Sirius muses. “It’s probably to prepare if I ever become a puppy dad.”

Regulus blanches while James and Remus crack up. “I wouldn’t be surprised,” Remus says, laughing. “Remember that lady at the park near Lils’ place with the poodle?”

James bends over with laughter while Sirius shoves them both. “I hate you two! You promised you wouldn’t!”

“Wait, no, I need to know this,” Regulus is grinning evilly, the look worthy of a Black. “Tell me more?”

Remus takes his hand. “With pleasure.”

Sirius puts his nose in the air and huffs again. “That’s my cue to take my leave. James, come with?”

“You look like Mum like that,” Regulus tells him. When Sirius glares at him, he laughs. “That makes the resemblance even better.” Sirius rolls his eyes and turns to James.

“Yeah, okay, but it’s your fault if we get lost,” James replies. He takes a map and bids the other two goodbye, promising to meet them near the food court at lunch. 

“I won’t get lost. I have you, remember?” Sirius says. James raises an eyebrow.

“That would be romantic, but I’m hardly any better than you at navigating this place.”

“At least we’ll have fun?”

“Why are you saying that like a question?”

“My most sincerest apologies. We’ll most definitely have fun!”

“Better.”

“Idiot.”

“Hey, at least I’m your idiot now.”  

Sirius looks over at him with an unreadable expression. “This is fake, Prongs.”

James feels his throat tighten. “Yeah, I know,” he says and tries to ignore the unpleasant clench of his stomach. He thinks he’s successful, but Sirius’ keen gaze seems to read right through the act.

The music playing on a loop as they pass the Tunnel O’ Love overlaps chaotically with excited yells and sounds of carnival games, and sweet, fatty smells mingle with the pine in the air. Sirius leads James along a curling path to a blue-and-gold ticket booth near the entrance, proudly pulling out a stack of Muggle money Remus had given him. 

“I’ll get us two tickets, while you can figure out where you want to go first,” he tells James and hands over a map from the ticket booth. James eyes his arse appreciatively while he flirts with the ticket woman, but quickly averts his gaze when she looks at him knowingly.

James stares at the colourful piece of paper, trying to figure out how to read it. “Does the — uh, does the House of Mirrors sound okay?”

“What, you want to get lost for real? Relying on me, who’s never spoken to a Muggle in my life, to navigate a Muggle wonderland isn’t doing enough for you?”

James shoves him and has to resist a grin when Sirius barks out his laughter. “I’m joking! That sounds fine,” Sirius says, now holding two tickets and a business card with a hastily scrawled number on it. “I’d love to start the day staring at myself from all angles. And you, of course. You’re pretty easy on the eyes.”

“Aww, did my darling Padfoot just say I’m good-looking?” James teases. Sirius rolls his eyes but he can’t hide the smile on his face. 

“Stop fishing for compliments. You know you are."

James’ face flushes. He doesn’t respond while he buys them both churros, some Muggle sweet that tastes like heaven. It’s sweet on his tongue and it helps to distract him a little from the cooler October winds and the sight Sirius makes. He tries not to notice how Sirius moves closer to him for warmth when a large gust hits them, but he can’t ignore the warmth that fills him when he does.

“Is this it?” Sirius asks after a long but comfortable silence. He eyes the pink archway over the entrance of the House of Mirrors distrustfully. 

James nods, face illuminated by the neon lights crisscrossing over the room. “You want to see who can make it out first?”

“Oh, you’re on.” Sirius doesn’t wait a second before taking off to the right. James laughs and takes a left. 

The sound of people hustling through the maze fades as James takes a few steps in. He meets an expected pane of glass and turns right into a new room framed with arches of light. Starting to become more purposeful with his turns, and trying to recall the map of the maze from the entrance, he changes directions but is met with glass. He tries again, with no success.

He’s trying to stay calm, but eventually, the fact that he’s lost and alone and stuck in a glass maze in a Muggle park with no Sirius around starts to become unnerving. His pulse quickens, and he tells himself to keep moving. 

Another glass wall. Keep moving. 

He spins left. Keep moving. 

He’s about to turn right — keep moving — but he slams into someone as he rounds the corner. “Shit,” they gasp, clutching their neck. “Are you okay?”

James nods. He’s feeling a bit dazed so it takes him a moment to realize. “Wait, Sirius? Oh bloody fuck, did I bite you?”

The other person — Sirius — sputters out a laugh. “James? Yeah, you did. It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt.”

“Sirius. I have blood on my teeth, and I don’t think it’s mine.”

Sirius winces. “Yeah, well, I’ve dealt with worse than a bitten collarbone.”

“If it helps, I don’t have rabies.”

“Why would that help? And also, you might have rabies as Prongs.”

A pensive look crosses James’ face. “Wait, you think? Oh shit, let me take a look.”

Sirius stills, then shrugs James’ hand off his shoulder. “I said I’m fine.”

“And I said, let me see.” Without waiting for Sirius’ response, James steps closer to inspect the teeth marks. This close, he can smell Sirius’ peppermint toothpaste and their shared shampoo and something warm and a little earthy, and he can see how the glow of Sirius’ skin under the fluorescent lighting gives him an almost alien-like look. James swallows and wills his blood back up. His best friend’s bleeding, and he’s getting a hard-on. What the fuck?

He distracts himself with healing the small cuts. “There. Good as new,” he says and steps back quickly, only for Sirius to grab his wrist. His grey eyes are dark, reflecting the pink and blue lights overhead. 

“Prongs,” he murmurs. “If you want to—” 

“Yeah,” James breathes out, voice ragged and low. “Anything you want.”

Sirius lets his hand trail up James’ arm, pushing up the sleeve of his sweatshirt and leaving goosebumps in his wake. There’s a split second of hesitation before he’s leaning in, and then James can’t think of anything other than Sirius, his best friend and better half, who smells edible and tastes like the churros they were having earlier and who’s doing something with his tongue that has James gasping and pushing Sirus back against the glass. There’s a crash nearby and some people laughing and they’re springing apart, eyes wide and dark. 

“Why haven’t we been doing this forever?” Sirius breathes. “Fuck, Prongs. That was…”

“Yeah,” James agrees, but he’s unsure what he’s agreeing to. “Wait, what?”

“We should’ve been doing this all along,” Sirius repeats. “I mean, we are dating.”

“Fake,” James automatically says. He thinks he sees disappointment flash across Sirius’ features, but puts it to a trick of the light. 

“Right. Let’s get out of here, yeah? The others will be wondering where we are.”

“Okay,” James says quietly. He’s feeling somewhat off-centre from the kiss and the conversation afterwards, so he leans against Sirius and smiles when he lets him take his hand. 

They seem to walk for hours, and James could swear they went past the same benches a few times, but it feels much easier with Sirius by his side. As soon as the thought forms, as though he can read his mind, Sirius turns to James and gives him a breathtaking smile. “I like it better when you’re with me,” he says softly. 

James stills, heart racing. Between the kiss and now this, he’s feeling rather shaky. “Me too,” he replies quickly, then notices the intensity of the noise here. There’s a barely visible gap between two mirrors facing out, and James grins. 

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“I win,” James says with a laugh, slipping between the glass panes and out into the open air. Sirius comes following, hot on his heels, and whirls to face James. 

“That’s not fair! We were having a moment and I was distracted!”

“Nobody told you to get all sappy on me,” James retorts. “As the winner, I choose the next place we go to.”

“You chose this place too,” Sirius grumbles, but begrudgingly gives James the win. 

“I want to go there.” James points to a large open canopy, under which there seem to be millions of children. “Please?”

“I’m not playing against babies, ” Sirius says. “There’s no way.”

“Your loss. Watch me then, you sore loser.” James grins when Sirius flips him the bird.

“Wait, no, look! Isn’t that Remus?”

James looks around and brightens when he sees him. “Yes! Oh wow, I’m actually hungry. Race you!”

Sirius shakes his head in disbelief then runs off to catch up. 

After lunch, when their stomachs are full of burgers and what Remus calls funnel cakes, James insists on playing until he wins a huge dog plush. He spends the Muggle equivalent of 20 galleons and is about to try again when Remus grabs him by the arm to drag him away. He’s whining and struggling against him when Regulus comes over. 

“Reggie! Tell your boyfriend to let me go!”

Regulus turns to Sirius. “Is this about that toy?”

“I need to win that for Sirius! Think of my dignity, I can’t let toddlers win games that I can’t!”

Sirius pulls James against him. “I don’t need a mediocre representation of my beautiful Animagus form, love. It’s fine if they win.”

“No,” James gasps. “Not you too!”

“It’s not your fault you’re bad at kid games,” Regulus teases. 

“Oi, these machines are rigged against us magical folk anyways,” Sirius consoles, ruffling James’ hair. The three of them have to physically drag his thrashing body away a minute later when a kid no older than four comes up to the machine right after them and manages to win the plush in one go.

“Wha—how in the world—can I steal it from him?”

Remus raises an eyebrow. “You’re not stealing a toy from a four-year-old, James, what happened to your morals?”

“I lost it with my dignity!”

Regulus laughs. “Close your mouth, James, flies are gonna go in.”

“But—But my Padfoot plushie—”

“How dare you insinuate that that crappy fabric monstrosity is me. ”

James sniffles. “It was beautiful. It would’ve kept me so warm at night.”

“What am I for?”

“Your feet are too cold,” James says miserably. “I wanted that!”

Sirius purses his lips. “For that, I’m not sleeping with you tonight.”

James blinks. “You don’t mean that. I can’t get my plushie, and now I won’t get Siri snuggles?”

Regulus and Remus crack up, and Sirius shakes his head with an amused huff. James pouts the entire way home.

“Uh, Sirius? What are you doing?” James asks, surprised to see Sirius waiting for him outside detention. “You’re supposed to be at dinner.”

“I was waiting for you to finish,” Sirius says, smoothing down nonexistent dust from the dark Muggle jeans he’s wearing. “Come on, we’re going out.”

“What?”

“I’m treating you to dinner. Being a proper boyfriend and all that.”

James blinks. “We’re not proper boyfriends.”

Sirius glances up. “Do you want to be?”

What. James has no idea how to respond to that so he busies himself with transfiguring his robes to something more casual. He lets himself get dragged to the Three Broomsticks where they have shepherd’s pie, drink too much Butterbeer, and call it dinner. Between the good food and good company, James can’t bring himself to complain, even though Sirius is acting a lot weirder than usual.

“I was thinking,” Sirius begins. The two of them are curled around each other on a sofa in front of the fire, watching Remus and Regulus play Exploding Snap. It’s a Friday night, and they’re pushing off their homework to Sunday.

“Oh no,” James groans theatrically. “Last time you said that, we had to start dating!”

Sirius shoves him. “Oh, fuck off.” Then, noticing others looking their way with confused glances, Sirius raises his voice. “Yes, and how good did the idea come out to be?”

James catches his drift. “Yeah, it was one of your better ideas for sure.” He leans down to kiss him without thinking and freezes when he realizes what he just did. They’re both still for a second before Sirius flips them over and snogs him so thoroughly that James thinks he probably won’t get the taste of him out for a week.

Regulus throws a cushion at them. “Get a room, you insufferable wankers.”

Sirius flips him off. “Remember that when you’re sucking Moony’s face off, you tosser.”

Remus winces. “Why are you so crude?”

Sirius ignores him, turning back to James. “So I was thinking, we should go see your parents this weekend.”

“Like right now?” James asks, bewildered. 

“Our relationship has been the talk of the school for a few weeks now. I think they’d appreciate hearing it from us before they get it from someone else.”

James sits up quickly, nearly knocking Sirius over. “Fuck, I did not think this would go so far.”

“Why, are you ashamed of me?”

“No! I just don’t want to, you know, lie to my parents about dating my best friend. Who’s basically their son? Is that incest?”

“It doesn’t have to be a lie,” Sirius says quietly. “And ew, what the hell, Prongs, why would this be incest!” 

James stares at him. “Why do you keep saying that when you’re the one who came up with the whole fake part of this?”

Sirius looks away. “Never mind. Do you want to go now? Because Minnie’s probably still awake. We could use her Floo.”

James stares for a moment longer. “Um, okay.”

He heads toward the portrait hole, missing the worried look Remus and Regulus shoot toward Sirius. 

“James! Sirius! What a surprise, I missed you both so much!” Euphemia says happily as she grabs them in a tight hug. “You’ve already grown so much and it’s only been a few months!”

James smiles as he leans down to kiss her head, tension leaving his shoulders at her embrace. “We missed you too, Mum. Where’s Dad?”

“In the office, I presume. Oh, come here, you,” she pulls Sirius over to kiss his cheeks. Sirius smiles, cheeks turning pink, and squeezes her back just as hard.

“What’s this?” Fleamont asks as he walks over. “Well, would you look at that, my sons finally remembered they have parents!”

James watches as Sirius stiffens with a flush before relaxing with a brilliant smile. “I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping in touch as much as I want to. We’re so busy with school.”

Fleamont laughs. “I’m just messing with you.” He grabs James into a headlock, which James resists for half a minute before giving up. Pressing a kiss on his son’s forehead, he turns to Sirius and greets him the same way.

“I can’t say I’m unhappy with this surprise, but why so sudden? I wasn’t expecting either of you two.” Euphemia pulls them over to the living room and calls their house-elf to prepare something for them to eat, despite their insistence of having already eaten dinner.

There’s a few minutes of tense silence. “Well, it’s just that—” James tries to begin, but gets interrupted by the house-elf returning with tea and biscuits.

“We’re dating,” Sirius blurts out. He’s watching Euphemia and Fleamont with a steady glance, face betraying nothing. James stares at him, wishing he could vanish into thin air. He’s gotten used to introducing themselves as boyfriends to the people at school, so it shouldn’t sound so foreign, but in front of his parents, he feels stripped bare. 

Fleamont sets down his teacup and Euphemia pauses. James watches tentatively as their expressions morph into one of surprise before shifting to joy. Fleamont’s smile twitches and Euphemia’s eyes glitter merrily. 

“I can’t say we didn’t expect this,” Euphemia says, tea all but forgotten as she leans forward to take their hands in hers. “When did this start?”

“Over the summer, but we didn’t know how to tell you,” Sirius replies once he realizes that James has lost all ability to function. “We made it official a little bit into the school year.”

Fleamont grins. “No wonder you were so eager to get away this year.”

Sirius laughs. James wants to die. “I can’t help it. I just want James all to myself, even when he’s right next to me.”

Euphemia coos. “I can’t believe Sirius is the first boyfriend you brought home for us to meet, James. You’re getting all grown up, aren’t you?” she says, pinching his cheeks and James pulls away in embarrassment. 

There’s a part of him that wants to confess and tell them that they’re not actually a couple and it was just a silly mistake, but he can’t bring himself to. Not when they’re both looking at them so excited about their relationship. He knows it will hurt them more if — when — they inevitably call this off, but for now, he selfishly doesn’t want to ruin the moment.

James thinks he should feel more guilty about lying to his friends and family about being in a relationship. But strangely, he doesn’t.

Maybe it’s because no matter how much he tries to deny it, the truth isn’t too far off from the lies that he’s telling them.

Later, he comes into the kitchen to help his mum put away the tea. She leans against him when he hugs her from behind and rests her hands on his. They’re wrinkled and rough from age and labour, but they’re just as familiar as James remembered.

Euphemia lets out a deep breath. “I worry for you two sometimes.” 

James frowns. “Why? We’re doing fine, both Sirius and I.”

She closes her eyes and James feels his throat pinch. She looks so fragile in his arms. “Both of you always put each other before yourselves,” she says. “Even if it comes at the cost of your own happiness. I worry that there will be a time where you both think you’re doing what will benefit the other, but will only cause a divide between you two.”

James hums into her hair. “You don’t need to worry about that, Mum. Sirius and I share a brain cell, remember? Nothing can divide us.” 

She laughs and he leans down to kiss her quickly when he hears her whisper, “Jamie, I’m going to tell him this too because you’re both my boys. I love you both to pieces, but if he dares to hurt you, dump him. You deserve only the best.”

He can’t help but laugh, but he feels hollow. Who could be better than Sirius? And why would they want me when my best friend doesn’t?

On Monday morning, James is called into Dumbledore’s office for a Head meeting. As he walks alongside Lily, she gently nudges him to face her.

“I’m so happy for you, James,” she tells him seriously. “Am I a little miffed that you got with Sirius right when we started getting along? A little. But you two are so perfect for each other, it’s hard to be anything but happy for you.”

James tilts his head in confusion. “What do you mean? We’ve always been close, so this is hardly any different from what we were like before.”

She smiles and shakes her head. “Yes, but since you two started dating, both of you seem, I don’t know, lighter.”

“We’ve always been happy together. Even as friends.” James fights the urge to say that they’re still just friends.

“Mhm, sure, but you were less attached.” At James’ disbelieving laugh, she amends, “Like, you two would be together, but both of you obviously wanted more. And now you have that, so you two look less lonely.”

James says nothing. She nudges him again and makes a face, and they both start giggling. It would’ve been so easy to be in love with Lily, James thinks, as he watches her dimples come out as she laughs. Her red hair falls in waves behind her, and James wishes he still wanted to wrap his hands in it as he once did. 

“What if… what if I told you that we’re not in a real relationship?” he asks quietly. As soon as it’s out, he wishes he could take it back.

Lily’s eyes narrow. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“We did this so people wouldn’t make a big deal of asking us out to Hogmeade,” James says in a rush. “We’re just pretending to be dating. We’re not anything more than best mates.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you just pretending to like him?”

James squirms. He feels exposed under Lily’s sharp gaze. “Yes.”

“Really.” Lily’s tone is flat and gives no indication as to what she thinks, but James hears her disbelief loud and clear. He’s just grateful that she masked her surprise well.

“Okay, so maybe I like him a tiny bit more than I let on,” James admits. 

Lily nods. “So obviously, I’m right. So? When are you telling him?”

James makes an indignant squawk. “Why would I risk ruining our friendship like that?”

Lily purses her lips. “How are you so sure that your friendship with him will be ruined? Last I checked, you could kill his entire family and he’d still worship the ground you walk on.”

“He hates his family, save for Regulus. And I’d never kill Regulus so that’s hardly saying anything.”

Lily makes a frustrated noise. “James. Even before this fake dating ruse, neither of you can fall asleep unless you’re cuddling each other. You’re constantly talking to him or about him. If either of you are ever separated, you have a mirror to talk through for the few minutes that you’re not joined at the hip. How much more oblivious can any two people get?”

James huffs. “That’s only because Sirius is comfy and interesting and brilliant and funny and gorgeous and understands me more than anyone else.”

When Lily says nothing, he looks over and sees her staring at him in a McGonagall-esque manner. “Okay,” he concedes. “So maybe I fancy him a lot, and maybe he likes me back. Emphasis on the maybe. If I confess, and he doesn’t feel the same, what then?”

“Then blame it on me. To save you from your misery, I’ll marry you and we’ll have seven babies and start our own Quidditch team,” Lily says, deadpan. James laughs and puts his arm around her.

“Sounds like a plan,” he tells her happily. “I’ll be the best, most doting husband and father ever.”

She smiles indulgently and hugs him back.

Winter holidays come around quickly. Regulus had come by during the day with Remus but they’ve long since gone. To pass the time, James and Sirius nick some Firewhisky stashed in Fleamont’s study and are passing the bottle between them when James decides to ruin his night. 

“Why did you choose to fake a relationship with me when you could’ve gotten into a real one with someone you fancy?” he blurts out. His brain-mouth filter is fuzzy after having too much to drink. 

“I like spending time with you,” Sirius replies matter-of-factly, as though nothing could be more obvious. “Why hang out with some stupid stranger when I could be with you?”

“Not what I meant.” Sirius looks so pretty, James thinks, staring at the pink flush starting to spread across his cheeks as he drinks more alcohol. They were sitting cross-legged on the floor of James’ bedroom when they first took out the bottle, but now they’ve manoeuvred so that their legs are intertwined and they’re heavily leaning on each other.

James can see the flutter of Sirius’ dark eyelashes whenever he turns to face him. Moonlight illuminates his face from the gap between the curtains, turning his eyes silver. His bottom lip is redder than the top from biting down on it. It’s soft and plump and seems to be beckoning James near. 

A siren’s call. That’s what Sirius was — a siren. Tantalizing, perfect, untouchable. Dangerous to get too close to.

“I’m tired of people wanting to have a part of me without taking the time and effort to understand me. They don’t even know me — I mean, they think they do, but all they see is the popular Hogwarts heartthrob, the rule-breaker and prankster. The black sheep of the Black family.” Sirius’ eyes are glassy from the whiskey, but his gaze seems sad and far away for an entirely different reason.

“That’s not true. I see you,” James says, watching Sirius blink up at him. It feels awfully domestic to be sitting here, away from everyone in just their ugly comfort clothes and baggy sweats. Sirius has a flower clip stuck to his hair that’s nearly slipping off of his bangs and all of his earrings have been put away for the night. They’re just them, and James wants to take a picture to capture it forever.

“But that’s ‘cause you’re you, Jamie. I couldn’t keep a part of myself away from you even if I tried.”

“Not the part of yourself that’s saved for your future special person.”

“You’re my special person, Jamie. There’s no one else.” Sirius waves a hand in front of James’ face and James intertwines their hands together instinctively, mindlessly rubbing circles into the back of Sirius’ hands with his thumb. He drops his bottle to trace over his knuckles with his other hand and presses a kiss onto each raised bone. Sirius’ breath hitches.

“You don’t want me like that, Pads.” James has no idea why he says that. He wants to remain in this ignorant bubble they created in his room for a little longer before Sirius inevitably rejects him. There’s a strange tension filling the air and James feels like he’s drowning. The only anchor he has is the weight of Sirius’ hand in his, but that’s not enough, not when Sirius doesn’t feel the same way, not when James wants more than what Sirius can give, not when James is so fucking greedy he’ll take everything Sirius offers and still beg for more. 

He doesn’t realize that they’re both holding their breaths. All of his attention is focused on the warm, reassuring weight of Sirius’ hand in his, the fingers long and thin and callused from Quidditch. James’ hands are slightly larger and wrap around Sirius’ like two puzzle pieces fit together, just like the two of them. Golden brown on paler white, a work of art.

Like a moth to a flame, James scoots over to Sirius. The small rational part of his mind screams at him to pull away before he hurts himself and Sirius and their beautiful, wonderful relationship. It may be the Firewhiskey or it may be the months of pining, but all rationale flies out the window when Sirius beams at him, wide and unburdened and brighter than his namesake, so fucking perfect it hurts.

“You’re wrong, Prongs,” Sirius whispers. Their faces are inches away from each other. James can’t help but trace lines down the side of his jaw, feeling the 5 o'clock shadow there.  “You’re so wrong, bloody hell, I don’t know what I’d even do without you. Burn the world down to get you back, probably, or become the next Dark Lord. I’d do it all, for you.” 

James stills. He can feel Sirius’ breath fan across his face and can almost hear his racing heartbeat. Or maybe that’s his own. His head is spinning, and everything is starting to feel too real. He needs space, needs to get away before he does something he’ll regret.

He pulls away from Sirius, dropping his hand and pushing to his feet. He swallows down the lump in his throat and tries to ignore the way Sirius flinches, a look of hurt marring his face. James is about to reach again, apology at the tip of his tongue, but he reminds himself that it’s for their own good. 

Sirius is drunk, after all, and it won’t mean anything come morning. It hasn’t meant anything so far, and if he makes one mistake, everything they take for granted could come crashing down. Best to stop it before it’s too late.

“It’s getting late,” James forces out. It takes almost all of his effort to plaster an unaffected smile on his face. His hands clench at his sides, longing for Sirius’ warmth. “We should go to bed.”

He stumbles into the loo to wash his face, knees shaking so much that he knocks into the edge of his bed. He refuses to turn around, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to keep himself from giving in upon seeing the expression on Sirius’ face. He promised himself years ago that he would never be the cause of Sirius’ misery, and doing this to both of them makes him feel like the biggest arse in the world.

When he returns, Sirius is on their bed, curled into himself on the very edge. James wants to reach out to hold him close and whisper sweet nothings into his ear to take away his discomfort, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He falls into a restless sleep, wishing for the millionth time that he was a better man. Maybe then he wouldn’t make so many mistakes.

Before long, classes start again. Amidst piling assignments, Quidditch practice, Head duties, and career planning meetings with McGonagall, James barely has time to spend time alone with Sirius. Since that drunken night at home, Sirius has stopped squeezing into his bed every night, leaving James alone with the dark, a strangely cold bed, and racing thoughts.  James doesn’t know whether to consider it a blessing or a curse. If anything, the distance only makes him think about Sirius more. 

If James had any self-control, he’d stop himself from remembering how Sirius had looked that night. But the past few months of stolen kisses and lingering touches had crumbled any control James had over his thoughts, and he often found himself imagining how Sirius’ flushing skin and loose tongue. The slope of his neck as he leaned against him. The cold, gentle slide of his fingers across James’ bare thighs. The painful avoidance in the following days, the awkward silences and betrayed glances. 

It’s that last memory that forces James to face his reality and bury his overwhelming feelings in the recesses of his mind. He knows he wears his heart on his sleeve, that he laughs effortlessly, cries easily, and cares fiercely. But another part of him knows that to keep Sirius from being scared away by the intensity of his love, he must hide those parts of himself. And so he keeps a distance and ignores Sirius’ flinches and sad eyes. 

He’s doing loops over the Quidditch field the afternoon of his birthday, trying to calm his emotions. He’d been ecstatic when he woke up to a surprise birthday breakfast in the common room with students from all houses and his parents calling over the Floo, but that excitement had been damped when he realized Sirius wasn’t there. It wasn’t uncommon lately for Sirius to slip away in the mornings before James woke up, but he’d been hoping to settle the tension between them to enjoy his birthday with his favourite person.

He looks down when a Hufflepuff third-year calls his name from the sidelines. She’s holding a large gift bag and waving to get his attention.

“Sirius told me to give this to you,” the younger girl says while handing him the bag. “I don’t know why he couldn’t just give it to you himself when he saw you this morning. Something about not being able to give it to you because he has some modelling gig. Since when does Sirius model?”

“He doesn’t,” James replies, bewildered. “Why did he say that?”

The girl shrugs. “Don’t ask me. You’re the only one who can make sense of the stuff he says.” With that, she goes back to the castle, leaving James alone.

Inside the bag is a box of Honeydukes’ chocolates — an assortment of hibiscus raspberry and cardamom orange, which meant Sirius had taken the time to custom-order James’ favourite seasonal flavours. James feels a pleasant warmth pooling in his gut, touched at Sirius’ thoughtfulness despite the past few weeks of strained friendship. 

There’s another larger box with a red ribbon wrapped around it. James gasps when he sees what’s in it, before laughing in disbelief. 

It’s a large, black dog plushie wearing a leather jacket and holding a wand. 

There’s a note attached to the ribbon and James instantly recognizes Sirius’ neat, small handwriting. It reads,

Happy birthday Jamie! You may be of age now but know that I am still older and that if you don’t continue to treat me as a respected elder, I will make you regret it. But I guess I’d rather you treat me as a child than have to endure this distance you’ve put between us. It was that night during the hols, wasn’t it? I freaked you out with my feelings. I knew I should’ve kept my distance, but you should’ve seen yourself. Moonlit and dark-lidded and, as usual, breathtaking.  

Anyway, I love you despite your idiotic tendencies to push people away when you think you’re not good enough for them or whatever bullshit your mind spews out. (I can imagine your raised eyebrow as you call me a hypocrite, but let me have this.) Hope we can go back to normal sooner rather than later; it feels strange to not have you with me constantly. 

Xx Your favourite Marauder, Padfoot 

James’ gut churns while his mind scrambles to make sense of the words. Sirius had feelings? For him? He loved him? All this time, he was trying to protect his heart by distancing himself, but he never considered if Sirius had meant what he had said that night. The proof was right there.

And yet, it felt too good to be true.

The dorm is empty when James comes in, but the map is conveniently on Remus’ nightstand. Taking it with him, he finds Sirius seated in a window of an empty corridor on the third floor, resting his elbows on his knees and looking outside. He turns when he hears footsteps. His grey eyes widen for a fraction of a second when he sees James, before setting into a resigned expression.

“Modeling gig?” is the first thing that comes out of James’ mouth. “What the hell, Sirius.”

“Why are you here?” Sirius asks quietly. He looks withdrawn and guarded, and the look sends a pang through James’ chest. 

“I got your note.” James sits next to Sirius on the small seat and purses his lips when Sirius immediately pulls his feet close to himself. “I didn’t know—”

“It doesn’t matter, James,” Sirius bites back. His eyes, blank just moments before, is not bright with anger and hurt. His hands tremble where he’s clutching his knees, and he pauses to glare at them for a moment before continuing. “I know where I stand. You made it plenty clear. I just wanted to get it out of the way so I wouldn’t have to deal with this… this whole uncertainty when it comes to you. I know I won’t get what I want, and you know this too, so can we just pretend we talked about everything we needed to talk about and go back to normal?”

“What if I don’t want to go back to normal?” James retorts. He’s starting to feel a little angry himself. 

In an instant, Sirius deflates, eyes looking lost once again. “I don’t — I don’t understand. I know I messed up, but I didn’t think — I mean, is it such a bad thing for me to love you? I’d change it if I could, but somehow, my heart’s not getting the message.”

Shit, James thinks. He never wanted to make Sirius feel like he was at fault when it was James who ruined everything by catching feelings and panicking as soon as he realised them. 

Taking the silence for a response, Sirius sighs. “Look, I’m sorry it’s making you uncomfortable. Believe me, I’m doing everything I can to stop myself from feeling this way. Just — don’t push me away. If this is about that stupid deal, you can call it off. Dae other people. You’ve done more than enough for me. I honestly wouldn’t blame you if you want it to end.”

“Don’t stop,” James blurts out. “Don’t stop feeling everything you just said.”

“What?”

“It’s just that — I don’t want to pretend anymore.” Words spill out before James can think, and he’s hoping somehow Sirius will be able to understand what he’s trying to get at. “I don’t want to fake a relationship with you, because it’s getting too much.”

Sirius inhales sharply and nods, a little frantic. “Okay, yeah, okay. Totally. I understand. We don’t have to do this anymore. Consider yourself back on the market.”

“That’s not what I meant.” James can feel the frustration simmering under his skin. Unconsciously, his hands reach to grasp at the closest part of Sirius — his ankles — and he uses them to pull Sirius closer. A distant memory flickers into his mind of the night when they had last sat like this, legs intertwined. Mouths millimetres apart, cheeks flushed, breath hot and heavy. 

“I kept a distance from you because I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same way,” James says quietly. “I didn’t want to hurt you or myself, but I guess I failed anyway.”

“Why wouldn’t I feel the same way? Wait, how do you feel—”

“I’m in love with you, okay?” James says. It comes out louder than he meant for it to. There’s shocked silence on Sirius’ end as James’ words hang between them. James takes a deep breath. 

“I’ve been in love with you since fifth year,” he continues at a normal volume. “Lily and I had that Transfiguration project and I learned throughout that I don’t see her as anything more than a friend. The flirting had become a habit by then, I think, so I didn’t see it until we had to work together. It’s nothing like the way we click with each other. So yeah, I guess I love you. Too. Holy shit, you love me back, Si.”

Sirius laughs, a breathless little thing before his lips are on James’ and the rest of the world fades. Before, when Sirius had kissed him, James had felt like he was drowning, so wrapped in the scent and feel of his best friend that the emotions were overwhelming. Now, with the knowledge that his feelings were reciprocated, he feels like he’s floating, safe in Sirius’ embrace.

“I dreamed about this for ages,” Sirius murmurs as he sits back. “That’s the whole reason I started this whole fake dating thing. I didn’t think I’d have much luck asking you out properly, so I pulled this to, ah, test the waters, if you will.”

James snickers. “So all of this was what, a free trial?”

“Yes,” Sirius murmurs against his neck. James’ breathing hitches. “And I’m feeling very satisfied with the service thus far. But I can’t leave a fair review without testing out all the features. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Oh — ah, fuck — what did you have in mind?” James can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but pant as Sirius works his fingers into his hair and pulls, kissing him hard the whole time. When Sirius trails a hand down to cup James’ arse through his trousers, James feels his heart stop. 

There’s a wicked grin on Sirius’ face. “Now that I’ve tasted you up here, I kind of want to taste you down there too. See if the tastes match. Or something. I don’t know, I just want to blow you right now.”

James squeaks. “Like, right here? Aren’t we going too fast?”

Sirius sombers. “Jamie,” he whispers. “I’ve been wanting you since we were thirteen. If anything, I think we’re going too slow. But if you’re not ready, I can wait. I’ve waited four years for you, and I will wait four million more if that’s what you want.”

James nods quickly. “I want you too. So much. I’ve been going crazy these past few months trying not to jump into your lap and snog you senseless.”

Sirius smiles. It’s a soft, little thing, and James knows it’s meant only for him. “What’s keeping you now?”

James ducks his head with a blush. “I — can we go to our dorms first?”

“Oh, Prongs,” Sirius says with a shake of his head. “One day I’ll introduce you to the high of doing this in public.”

“You’re such an exhibitionist. No wonder you’re starting a modelling gig,” James chides as he links their hands together. It’s such an endearing sight that he can’t help but lift Sirius’ hands to his mouth and shower his fingers and knuckles with kisses. Sirius’ steps stutter and James looks up, delighted. 

“I was put on the spot,” Sirius says defensively. “I didn’t expect her to start asking questions. I just wanted her to give it to you, not interrogate me.”

“You could’ve just given it to me yourself, like a normal person.”

“We’re anything but normal. Anyway, I was too nervous about your reaction.”

“Touché. Still, it would’ve been loads better coming from you.”

“Then allow me to make it up to you.” Sirius tugs on James’ hand until he stops. He reaches up to frame James’ face as he gently presses their lips together. James isn’t sure how much time passes before they pull apart. As they lean their foreheads on each other, Sirius’ lips quirk. 

“Happy birthday, Jamie. I love you.”

James smiles and tucks in a strand of hair coming loose from Sirius’ bun. “I love you too.”

[bitchinbarzal]

I know you asked for Jamie and mama d Marley angst but I was thinking of a Trevor and mama Zegras scenario…

so can I request a thing where before Mila is born and while the twins are still really little a girl that Trevor used to hook up with somewhat regularly comes back around and makes mama kind of jealous because the other girl is making it clear she wants Trevor again and while she’s married to him she knows he used to be a bit of a fuck boy so she can’t help but worry a little?

“If you stare any harder, I think your vein is going to pop” Jamie’s girlfriend jokes, playing with Sasha on the worktop while you prep the salad.

Your gaze was stuck securely on Trevor outside, speaking to her

You turn and glare “Can you blame me? They used to hook up, she moved to Montreal to work with the habs now she’s back?”

Sasha makes a noise of concern at the height of your voice and you pout “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to scare you” and take him from her before she says

“He’s the father of your babies, your husband and he’s not such a bad guy y/n give him the benefit of the doubt”

Before you can say much else, Trevor comes into the kitchen with Tristan “Someone was missing mom” he states, you take Tris with your one free arm and smile at the boy contently

“Were you missing mommy?”

Trevor frowns “I was talking about me?”

You roll your eyes at him and pass over Sasha “Please take out the Salad, I think Jamie is almost done cooking”

Trevor doesn’t miss the way you avoid his joke or how you dismiss him. He shrugs it off and continues outside to the barbecue.

Once you’d sorted everything out, you ventured outside to find your seat taken by her, Lydia. She had Sasha on her lap while she laughed along to whatever Trevor was saying.

The pang in your chest knocked you back as you watched the scene infront of you.

Jamie shouted on you, giving up his seat so you could sit down and eat. You absentmindedly sat down to eat from the plate when Sasha yells out from Lydia’s lap for you

“Mama! Mamamama!” He babbles and thrashes around in her arms until you stand up to get him.

It feels horrible to do, but you snatch him out of her hands, taking Tristan from Trevor too before headed back inside under the guise of “feeding them”

Inside the twins were in their play pen when you sat down and burst into tears, your emotions now bubbled to the top.

You never ended up going back out there, telling everyone that the boys were getting cranky and you were putting them down to sleep.

Trevor couldn’t ignore the stares he was getting from Jamie and his girlfriend all night but didn’t question it at the time.

Once all your dinner guests had left Trevor ventured along the hallway to the twins room to find you swaying on the rocking chair holding one of them in each arm.

“Hey, they ok?” He mumbles as to not wake them.

You just grunted “everyone gone?”

“Yeah, Lydia just left”

You roll your eyes and snap “Shut the door? They’re almost asleep”

He scowls a little “Babe what-“

“Trevor just leave, please I’ve just gotten them to sleep”

“What is your problem?”

You sigh before putting the boys down in their cribs and stepping out the room to a disgruntled husband

“You! You’re my problem and Lydia! You have been with her all night, in our house! With our sons! She stole my seat at dinner Trevor and she was feeding my son like she was playing happy families!”

His eyes go wide “That’s what you’re so upset about?!”

“Yes, you two were sex buddies when she worked for the ducks! Do you blame me, your wife for being upset that she’s around again? Why was she even in our house-“

“Because we are co-workers and she is my friend-“

You cut him off by scoffing “I’m done here”

Taking off down the hallway he calls out “Where are you going?”

“I’m done with this conversation Trevor, I’m done being second to literally everyone else, I’m done being your pretty little wife”

“y/n come back here we aren’t-“

The twins began crying then interrupting him, he sighed and walked into their room as you took off downstairs.

While we was soothing them back to sleep you could hear the baby monitor on the kitchen counter and heard him say

“When Will i ever get it right with your mama, eh Tris?”

[bambistan]

A correspondence between jegulus in a homophobic world bc angst.

⬇️⬇️⬇️

Dear Regulus,

It's been a while since we last spoke, but . . . I was thinking of you today.

I was by the ocean, and the greying clouds created a storm as beautiful as the one in your eyes. I couldn't bring myself to look away, even as it turned violent.

I fear I'll spend every second of my existence longing for someone I can't have . . . Someone I shouldn't want.

I wish one of us wasn't condemned to live in a man's body. Maybe then, I could love you as loudly as I please.

Maybe then we could've been together.

Sincerely,

James

~*~

Dear James,

Much to my own dismay, I was excited to receive a letter from you. We'd agreed not to speak - though is writing really speaking?

I share your sorrows, your pain. I know the feeling all too well as it has made a home inside me.

In the darkest hours of the night, I fantasise about how differently things could've gone had I been born a girl.

I miss you.

Sincerely,

Regulus

~*~

Dear Regulus,

I will admit I hadn't expected a reply - I thought you'd hated me. However, I'm pleased to know you miss me.

I miss you too.

I miss waking up next to you. Watching as the sun slips through the crack in the curtains and paints your face in the most extraordinary shade of gold.

I miss having you close to me. Feeling your head on my chest, rising with each breath I take, ever so slightly.

Do you remember that day in the orchards?

Sincerely,

James

~*~

Dear Jamie,

How could I forget?

We'd exhausted ourselves on the race there and ate almost every apple on every tree.

However - shamefully - my favourite moment was afterwards, in my parents' lake.

I can still recall the feeling of water rippling as you moved against me. The words you whispered in my ear as your grip on me tightened.

I'd sell my soul to go back to that day.

Sincerely,

Regulus

~*~

My dearest,

Regulus,

You have no idea the things you do to me.

If anyone knew, I'm sure I'd be castrated and hung for my crimes - but I'd die with a smile on my face.

Why did we ever stop?

We could go back to that day together.

I need you like I need air. Please come back.

Yours,

Jamie

~*~

Dear James,

Please do not make this harder for me.

You know why I can't go back. There are people who hold such hatred for love like ours.

My parents, the church, everyone in that godforsaken town.

I have to kneel for hours on end in the darkness of the church basement to repent for my sins. To forget you had ever existed . . .

But I cannot.

Even if it hurts . . . I fear that's when I love you most.

Sincerely,

Regulus

~*~

Dear Regulus,

Just say the word and I'll come to you.

Please, my love, I am desperate. It's been years, yet without you, they feel like centuries.

We could run away together - live in the mountains. You always did like caves.

I don't know any other way to ask then to beg, so please please please . . .

Come home to me, love. Let me come to you.

Please.

Love,

James

~*~

Dear Regulus,

I had hope for a while. I'd thought your inability to write back was due to your travelling.

However, it became apparent that that wasn't the case as you would've reached me already.

I can only assume my feelings aren't reciprocated and your previous letters were nothing but a reminiscence of good times.

I will bother you no longer.

Fondly,

James

~*~

Dear Regulus,

It's been months.

I know I swore not to write but is it really so hard to pick up a pen and tell me to fuck off?

I'd do anything you asked, including leaving you alone, so just say the word, and I'm gone.

I'll be, but another memory you smile fondly at before passing by.

Sincerely,

James

~*~

Dear Regulus,

You know it's not like me to give up.

I will fight for the things I want - and I want you.

Madly, desperately, I want you.

Feel free not to answer my sorrows, but know that they will never stop coming.

Love,

James

~*~

Dear James,

Come to me.

Love,

Regulus

Yay!! Happy ending.... Or is it?

[sabineelectricheart]

Chips on High Shelves

Summary: Derek wants his girlfriend to ask for his help. Jamie is on to him.

Rating: K - Intended for general audience 5 years and older. Content should be free of any coarse language, violence, and adult themes.

Words: 602 (Minific)

Derek watches as Jamie wander off to the kitchen, ready to go grab chips for both her and him, as they were about to watch some horror film, on her suggestion. Little did she know that he put the chips on a higher shelf again, since he wanted for his girlfriend to ask him for help.

He started to slyly smirk looking into the direction of the kitchen, happy with his petty evilness in mocking her less than blessed stature. However, he soon sported a grimace, getting all confused since she was taking too long. He would have thought she had gotten the bag of chips herself, but he really doubted it, since he had the foresight to put it pretty high up. 

It was not meant to be, though. The football player frowned when, all of a sudden, his darling girlfriend come back with chips already in her hand, teeth cracking on it.

“I swear I saw those chips on the tallest shelf today, so how the hell did you end up getting it?” He says trying not to sound suspicious, nor slightly hurt.

Derek could not deny that he was profoundly disappointed with the turn of events. Jamie did not have to ask for his help this time, and perhaps would never again, if she found a way to get things on tall shelves without him. He feels dejected, one less thing that he can bring into this marriage.

“They were, though I don’t know how they got there. As for the how, I just stood on the counter and got it.” She explains, shrugging, sitting down on the lounge next to him.

“You could’ve asked me…” He said, petulantly, as he watched she mess about with the noisy bag.

“Real funny, Derek. I wouldn’t want you falling from the counter again like last time.” She deadpanned as she quietly laughs.

Now, that is a low blow. The last time Derek had helped her pick something up from the top of the cabinet, he had fallen off the counter and pretty much broken the shelf while he was at it, bringing a month’s worth of wheat flour fall like a bomb on her prized fitted ceramic floor.

Jamie was pissed, since she would be the one finding flour in weird corners of the kitchen for months to come. Though, she had to admit, it was pretty funny to see when he fell.

“Hey! That wasn’t my fault, there were other things on the counter.” He defended, earnestly, the talking points he has been parroting ever since.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever makes you sleep at night.” She dismissed, popping a chip into her mouth.

“C’mon, Jamie, don’t be like that. Next time, please, just ask me. I would rather that I fall again rather than you.” He says as he grabs a couple of chips from the bag.

“Then, next time, don’t move the chips around, and I won’t climb on the counter.” She says knowingly, laughing at his guilty face.

“How… How did you even know?” He says as he chews down on the chips looking at her, bewildered.

“Because I was the one who placed them on the lower shelves earlier today.” The woman points out, nonplussed. “Remember that I was the one who put the groceries back?”

Oh, yeah. Derek mentally thought, as he looked at Jamie before taking more chips in his mouth.

“But I promise that I will ask you next time to get them for me.” She said as she kissed him on the cheek, watching his face gleam with much more joy than before.

*_*_*_*_*

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