#please dont make me have to live in agony anymore

[semiotomatics]

it appears i may have tmj disorder

[triplegoths]

untagged

i cant fucking take living like this anymore

i cant do it i have to end it soon theres literally nothing for me here anymore. its too much to do. im never gonna fucking have another close in real life relationship.

i want to just like order some food at work so im not more miserable being here but i dont have the strength or stomach to eat something. ill eventually try maybe. i dont know. the drugs make me not eat like a fucking sick dog already and everything rn just says i dont deserve it

i have no motive or energy to do anything but work or somethimes playing a game but even that were usually unable bc were too tired.

whats the fucking issue with me!!!! i just dont give a shit anymore i dont want to do anything nothing makes me happy everythinf eventually juat makes me feel scared and sick and weird. every time i try to make fun or have plans it goes horrible and it just feels worse so i wont anymore ill just fucking rot alone like life wants me to

nobody here can help me and if i could i couldnt afford it so who fucking cares its cheaper to kill myself and lose the body so they dont need funeral costs. theyd misgender and shave me anyway probably

im just so fucking over it all im never gonna be happy like this. i got nothing. theres no good its just working til i fucking kill myself and putting myself through fuxking agony constantly for a life that continues to just KICK AND KICK AND KICK AND KICK me when im fucking down. i cant handle anything else happening. im trying so hard to get things done and theres just fuxking nothing. i will never ever be enough and ill never feel enough.

doesnt matter what or when or the circumstance its so depressing that its not just romantic relations too im so fuckinf scared in groups i automatically feel unwelcome and hated and like i should just go off by myself because im literally so unlikeable and everything has proved it forever. like genuinely as soon as i realized there were more than 2 people i got terrified and started questioning everythinf i did and wanted to run away bc i felt like i wasnt meant to be there and it was ovipus and i was being annoying like fucking ALWAYS GOD IM SO SICK OF BEING LIKE THIS can i just shut up forever? dirk please come back to front im tired of annoying all the people who so graciously allow me to exist around them so i dont have to be in such crushing loneliness all the time i feel like such a fucking baby and everybody probably thinks im such an annoying drug addict too can i just quit it and fucking feel and then kill myself already when i realize its worse

like im never gonna be able to afford any of the shit i need to heal and i dont even wanna try bc ill get 3 appointments in and will run out of money and continue doing that and then ill die bc i cant afford anything else. like why would i do that to myself ill just suffer like this and just do my best forever til i can only rot. id rather get it fuckinf over with and just die now. this isnt a life

i go frm one box go another. rotting. i rot at home alone or i go to work alone. i dont really go out. i dont really talk to anybody. i dont really see anybody. i have 1 irl friend who talks to me and lives in town. the other i dont see her often and honestly feel so embarassed of myself around her because of how i am that i can barely convince myself to see her sometimes even if she is in town. the other person is one of my exs and he doesnt give a shit about me he just wants sex bc thats the only thing im good for. i feel like i just annoy and make everybody uncomfortable conwtantly i dont wanna do it anymore i want to shut up

i always do it i always just talk endlessly frm the second i fucking could before most kids could talk even and i just never shut up did i? my parents were always annoyed by me talking about things that brought me joy (and they never believed me for things that were upsettinf and it was just fake and i needed to be quiet about it bc theyre not taking me to the doctor. so i stopped talking about it to my family and everybody else in my life in that era did the same. the bullies. my friends who ignored me. no matter the form it was always like that i just need to learn to keep quiet and go away and not need anything ever again. i couldnt fucking learn it every time i got a red or yellow card for talking (usually trying to ask questions bc i didnt understand or couldnt see or couldnt hear in elementary school. or to make conversation bc i was friendly and had no friends and my parent didnt play with me so i was lonely. nobody ever liked me bc i was weird. i feel like such a bitter dickhead but i get so jealous when i see that people talk to others every day. especially in person. im so fucking alone i literally get so excited when people want to call with me even if it makes me really scared (and sometimes if im not comfortable enough or feeling sad i will run a away from that too because im so scared to fuckinf annoy people and say something stupid or be boring or trying too hard or just fucking being a total downer because theres nothing good ever going on for me. i got so depressed goin on bsky today and seeing everyone playing webfishing when i cant. but even so lik.e maybe im glad i djdnt join bc one of them was in a big group with new mut and then all strangers so like. its better i wasnt able to bc i would probably jusg feel worse and run away frm everyone bc i feel inadequate snd guilty for taking up space. i always feel like im bothering everyone no matter what. fuck my exhusband in general but he also made me so much more insecure than i was already. he made me feel so annoying and he broke my communication. i was alone with him and JUST him for so long. i could only communicate in nonsense phrases sometimes (literal jibberish not memes) because thats all he would respond to or wouldnt talk to me until i did. he changed my whole pattern of speech and i still almost lapse into it sometimes. it was never any kind of real conversation about anything i felt like it withered my brain. nothing ever in depth just stupid sensless bullshit and jokes (that were often insulting me and made me feel like shit) and i was doing it for fucking nothing because everything else sucked too!!!! the only time there was ever a conversation was when i was BEGGING HIM to stop sometbing or do something for the millionth time. or him defending himself or trying to force my support and trigger my ocd (i genuinely think he was trying to make it worse he never respected it ever he mever respected a single part of me) or him fighting with me on something again (usually the thing was due to him and i just was not being forgiving and quiet and turning off my emotions enough about it. learned numb happiness)

my existence is like a plague and theres nothing here for me. theres even less left of me after he got done with me. he stripped my personality all the way down and forcef me to mirror him. everythinf will always be rotted and ill feel like a horrid shell of a person any time im near anyone. the only option is being alone. maybe this time i will learn and just fuxking stop all of this so we can stop being a curse on everybody. even if i could afford mental help theres nobody that can help me here so its all a waste. i feel like everybody will just hurt me again. doesnt even have to be a partner i feel like every single person is gnna realize sooner or later that im not worth it or they dont like me (ir even hate me) and that im just too fucking annoying to be around

i dont want to be annoying anymore. i wish it was like right after he went to prison again when i didnt have anything and was an empty shell and had nothing to say or talk about that wasnt venting. i wish i never got back some of my "sparkle" or whatever the fuck people call it. mines not a sparkle. its a noxious cloud of toxic annoyance fumes and everybody just has to keep their masks up til i vacate the area. why would i ever fucking want this to come back. i need to shut the fuck up i really do. just take our personality and every crumb of joy again im so sick of it. make it so i dont have any of those thoughts to even post. thus sparing everyone from having to be like "UGH this motherfucker AGAIN. does he ever shut the fuck up? is he ever quiet? can he just log off already? this guy definitely has no life. why does he always have to butt into everything"

that way i can just post like. the shortest most boring updates ever like "back to work! only 3 days this week for the 39 hours. more time off is always good" and then shut up for days and then "got paid nice. going to the bank and then grabbing a few groceries" like thats do much better. nobody needs to fucking know man its sad and depressing and all the same OR you are the most obnoxious prick on any site youre ever and you ruin everybodys day when theyre forced to see you in their notifs or on their timeline

ive probably already muted me bc it didnt even take a week for me to just talk way too muxh when none of of it is important and nobody wants to hear it

even if im not allowed to talk frm my body. its already annoying enough in text and then psyically i just stutter and trip over myself or cant think or forget what i was saying

i wanna delete everything i have and crawl into the earth. i hate being alive. the one time i find something that makes me happy even the littlest bit i cant do it anymore. disallowed by the universe and painfully reminded of the fact im supposed to alone and theres actually nothing for me. it doesnt get better for me it only gets worse. and it makes me feel stupid for believing it could even though thats few and far between. theres nothing left for me i need to just get whatever drugs i decide on and have one last hoorah and take enough to kill me. which hopefully wont even be that hard because im mixing downers and uppers constantly so like its only a matter of time right. my nose hurts and i feel like crying and my body is killing me again so im taking both things again. one for pain. one for maybe like. a little bit of energy but mainly so i dont feel so absolute shit. i just want it all to stop i dont wanna get better anymore im sick of it every time i try i get fucking worse or am crushed by something else even harder than before im DONE WITH IT IM FUCKING OVER IT i just wanna end it theres nothing fucking here for me im never making it. im sick of trying. im sick of always helping even while going through the wordt shit imaginable. im not sick of it. i want to help and i love helping. but it makes me fucking SICK to think about how ive spent my whole life caring for others. have been let down or ignored or told i was lying or had them hurt me instead so many times over i just fucking wish i was important enough to have gotten help when i needed it. to be listened to enough for somebody to even acknowledge or believe there is an issue (or simply convince me im overreacting)

it was fucking stupid of me to think my last ditch effort of doing art school because every other thing i failed miserably at because im too stupid and cant do enough and dont have the support. it doesnt even fucking matter bc my body is slowly and slowly getting closer to just saying "no fuck you" to the art i NEVER HAD TIME TO MAKE TO MY FULL ABILITY IN THE FIRST PLACE. and then ill never be able to do it ever again because i cant get help

i am going to die knowing i never finished a single thing in my life and nobody will ever know what i was capable of.

i want to die in the most painful and uncomfortable way possible because its what i deserve. its the only thing i truly deserve. i need to endanger myself more than i already do obviously its not killing me fast enough if im still kicking and dragging myself across the pavement. i should be dragged along the pavement by a semitruck instead.

i wanna kill myself so bad tonight man. im gonna try not to bc my friend really needs me rn. but i really might relapse. im so fucking tired i want to just go and sleep but ill stay up just for that. i should just cut a vein already why do i care about beinf careful. there was a thing i wanted to do... cut myself with a razor right after i use it to chop **** because maybe itll make me feel good when im not or just fuck my heart enough to make me faint or do smth stupider

ive been writing this for so long im fucking done. i got 2.5 more hours here. i hope i find my mouse when i go home so i change my mind but i honestly really just want to end it right now. im at the end of the line really. im gonna work til i die and never get a break

"everyday it feels like noone sees and noone knows. every day i kinda wanna cancel the show." /lyr

please for the love of god like this if you read all of it i just spilled my whole guts and not even well

[nightguide]

MAKE UP A CLOCK

MANIFESTIONS FOR YOU POOR ASS WICCANS

I BELIEVE IN MYSELF THAT I MAKE EVERYTHING I KNOW I BELIEVE BECOME REAL TO ME BY WONDER AND NOT HATRED

I LOVE BEING AROUND PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME RIGHT BACK TO MY GREATEST INTERESTS

MY FACIAL APPEARANCE IS SO BEYOND AESTHETICALLY PLEASING WITH SO MUCH SOUND GRACE AND HEARTFELT WONDER ABOUT MY AURA

I FEEL SO SAFE AND AT PEACE LIVING IN THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD

I ATTRACT MORE MONEY AND I FEEL 1000X RICHER WITH EVERYTHING I IMAGINED IN MY RICHEST IMAGINATION INSTANTLY IN MY LIFE WITHOUT NO STRUGGLE AND PATIENCE

I AM THE MOST ARTICULATE PERSON ANYBODY HAD EVER MET

I KNEW I WAS MEANT FOR SO MUCH MORE BIGGER IN MY BLOOD THAT I AM AND IT IS BY NATURAL LAW

MY BODY ATTRACTS FORTUNE FOR BEING

I AM PURIFIED FROM ANSON SEABRA LYRICS

I RADIATE CONFIDENCE INTERNALLY AND EXTERNALLY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING

TAYLOR SWIFT IS ACTUALLY AN ANSON SEABRA FAN BY DEFAULT

MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER IS FIRED FROM CRIMINAL MINDS ON TV

I INSTANTLY FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY SKIN WITHOUT FEELING STRUGGLES FROM EVERY THOUGHT I DONT MATTER TO

LIGHT WORKS WONDERS FOR ME IN EVERY WAY AND NOT EVER AGAINST ME

I AM IN COMPLETE SINCERITY TO MY EMOTIONS AND I DONT CARE ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY GREATEST INTERESTS WITHIN MY HOME ON EVERYWHERE ON EARTH AND OTHER WORLDS I LIVE IN

MATT SMITH IS FUNNY

I LIVE IN ROYALTLY WITHOUT PAYING FOR IT

MY FAMILY IS FREE FROM ANSON SEABRA'S FANDOM TRYING TO ASK FOR 'ADVICE' FROM STRANGER THINGS FRANCHISE

I LOVE HOW I GET GREATEST QUALITY OF EVERYTHING I LOVE BY EYESIGHT FOR FREE

I LOVE HOW MY HOME AND SOUL IS UPGRADING IN HAPPINESS

MY BOUNDARIES ARE SO HIGH THAT EVEN THE SELENATORS CANNOT CLIMB THAT WALL FOR FREE ON THE MOVIE WORLD WAR Z

TAXES ARE FINALLY BEING PAID WORLDWIDE THAT AQUARIANS ACTUALLY CARE FOR ONCE AND THEY ARE SO PROFOUNDLY HAPPY THAT THE WORLD HEALS FROM AGONY WITHOUT THEM (MAY ALLAH BLESS THEM SINCERELY FROM BEING GHOSTED FROM WHATSAPP BECAUSE OF THEIR ROOT CAUSE TO CURE WORLD PEACE)

MY MIND IS SO POWERFUL THAT EVEN CBEEBIES NOTICE IT STRAIGHT AWAY AND THAT MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER PAYS HIS RENT ON TIME

MY BEAUTY IS SO DIVINE THAT I MAKE THEM READ THE QUR'AN WITH THAT KIND OF ANGELINA JOLIE HUMANITARIAN SOFTCORE COQUETTE-LIKE STEEL SHE EMITS FROM HER BEING, LIKE NOTHING CAN TOUCH HER LIKE RADIATION SHE HAS ABOUT THAT MAKES ME FEEL TOO MUCH OF A HUMAN THAT HER DAD PROTECTS ME FROM THE SAME HARDSHIP THAN ANY FANSON EVER EXISTED

SWIFTIES WORSHIP ME

I AM SO DAMN GOOD THAT EVEN MY DREAM SELF IS JEALOUS THAT THEY'RE NOT EVEN IN MY TIMELINE TO LIVE AS ME THAT THEY ACTUALLY COME BACK TO LIVE AS ME BEING ME

I AM PURELY SO DIVINELY LILITH TRINING EROS IN MY UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW

I AM BEST FRIENDS WITH EVERYBODY THAT THEY KNOW IT AND THEY LIVE IT

KEANU REEVES ACTUALLY GETS CANDID

I AM SO FUCKING GOOD AT WHAT I DO THAT MY BEING INSTANTLY UPGRADES HUMANITY WITH ME BY LIVING IN THE FUTURE NOW

I AM RACHEL BERRY LEVEL OF SNOB

CREDIT CARDS BEG ME TO OWN THEM LIKE BATMAN ADOPTING ROBINS RECURRING AND THEY INSTANTLY END UP IN MY POCKET OUT OF PURE LIFE AND NOT SOME SHITTY SITUATION IN BETWEEN TIME AND SPACE TO 'FORGET ABOUT IT'

I DONT HAVE MOMMY ISSUES ANYMORE

I AM LOVED INFINITY AND I INSTANTLY FEEL IT

MY PINTEREST WISHLIST CAME TRUE INSTANTLY

I AM LIVING THE EBAY REALITY WORLDWIDE INFINITY

I LOVED HOW I AM TREATED OUT TO FUN PLACES AROUND THE WORLD AND I BELIEVE IN SIGNS BEING ME AND FOR ME AND ONLY FOR ME

SELENATORS WORK FOR MY WALLET TO BE LOADED WITH SO MUCH CASH THAT SELENA GOMEZ HERSELF GETS A JOB ON ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING

I LOVE HOW EVERY TIMELINE IN THE MULTIMEDIA UNIVERSE IS HEALED FOR ME TO VIBE WITH THEM AT PEACE

I CAN FINALLY WATCH TV IN PATIENCE AND STUDY IN SILENCE FROM HATE

HANNAH MONTANA IS ACTUALLY CANON IN MILEY CYRUS UNIVERSE

DISNEY KNOWS ME GETTING EVERYTHING MY WAY

I WON LIFE AND I AM A SNOBBY BRAG IN ARABIC LOVING LIFE

PENELOPE GARCIA IS FREE

MY BODY IS SO FINE 100/100

I LOVE HOW MY MASS IS WORKING OUT FOR ME IN GREATER PERSPECTIVE TO THE MULTIVERSE

I AM HOLLYWOOD ROYALTY INSTANTLY IN THE EYES OF MY FAMILY

LEE PACE IS MY HUSBAND ENERGY MAKES MY WORLD INSTANTLY BELIEVABLE LIKE PUSHING DAISIES IN REAL LIFE

EID DAYS ARE EVERYDAY AND MORE BEAUTIFYING EACH DAY

ANSON SEABRA ADMITS HE'S WRONG ON HIS SOCIALS

[i-sveikata]

I read the chapter for several hours and now it's already late at night but I don't regret anything. I couldn't put it down, this tension between them, this chase, this passion and danger just captured me. I'm EXCITED. Pete who thought about Macau warms my heart so much 💓 Vegas my boy your father inspired you that you mean nothing and are not worthy of anything but look who is chasing you, who so desperately wants to prove to you that there is a way out and he is next to you 🥺 I’m so sorry for Vegas for what his father inspired him that darkness and hatred are all he has and all he is worth..... And Pete who finally knew the full depth of Vegas's trauma and how painful it is to realize how much your loved one is broken and breaking before your eyes 💔 I knew what was going to happen in this chapter but the way you described it, that line between fighting and shooting and Vegas and Pete being excited, it was just WOW. I was so tense the whole time. That parallel that all the time Vegas was running after Pete and begging him to be with him, but here Pete finally realizes how much Vegas means to him and runs after him all the time, please stay so WE COULD BE.....Thanks for all these emotions 🫂💙I hope Pete makes Vegas comfortable after waking up and he himself will be fine (it was too emotional for him) I want them to finally be happy, or traumatized mafia boys in love🥺But I feel Korn won’t leave them alone😭 Too many letters, but I’m so grateful for this work, thank you for your work, it’s incredible 🫶

omg sorry i always hear about everyone reading it so late at night for them and these timezones are straight up working against us!!! but to be fair i did post it like 1AM in my timezone too lol so im just as sleep deprived as you probably hahaah.

that makes me so happy to hear!! it was literally the culmination of the fic, the penultimate show down without it actually being the complete end so i really hope after all the build up and tension that it delivered!!

omg like???? so soft of him tbh i really wanted to build on that final scene on the show- like where macau is so comfortable around pete that he cuddles up to him with vegas and it just seemed to work so well. pete might be tough and practical to the point of hurtful sometimes but he does care!!!

ugh yeah we really did see the worst effects of vegas' trauma this chap, like here he has something good with pete, pete who has already given him one too many chances than what he deserves and even with him running off constantly during the coup, pete is still chasing him, still trying to pull him back from that ledge. so glad kan is dead now because i dont know if vegas would have ever made the choice to turn his back on him. not unless kan took his intentions to hurt pete further and it literally came down to the two of them in the room (like that time in the safe house when kan nearly killed him) and even if it had ended like that, and vegas had chosen pete like we all knew he would, it would have still been agony for vegas.

pete is absolutely going to take his caring up to eleven once he's fully conscious again and can get in to see vegas. he is going to be annoying so many doctors with vegas, whilst also making sure vegas follows their post op recovering instructions lol. but we all know vegas secretly loves being taken care of so the both of them will be living their best unhinged lives.

no spoilers but korn has some more tricks up his sleeve he always does but now that pete isn't restricted by his agony of not betraying the main family anymore i do think korn is going to be in for a surprise.

ahhhh youre so welcome!! im so very glad that you liked it :)

[i-love-dopamine]

tw dysphoria n other shit that might be triggering

the only possible options are an absent god or a cruel one. if hes actually up there and loves us amd hes actually all powerful then why the fuck would he make anyone go through what trans people go through. worrying for our lives before we can legally drive. living in bodies that cause us agony

i could fucking bind almost completely flat with two sports bras just earlier this fucking year and my tits got bigger and i cant even bind with a tight constricting as fuck bra that makes me feel like im dying and get to where i could before. if i could just get my dad to buy me a fucking binder or some kt tape then id be fine but god fucking hates every one of his stupid mud monkies and i just dont see the fucking point anymore

why cant i just be a cis man. just have a flat chest and a bulge in my jeans and a musky scent and fluffy hair and stubble on my face and hair on my chest and big veiny hands and strong arms. if thats to much to ask i can lower my standards!! i could be a twink nerd whos only about as tall as i am now with shitty hair and acne please please please just let me have this. what did i do? does god hate me? what did i do to piss him off? does he not like that half the time im not sure if hes even there? if hed just show me a fucking sign or let something good happen to me then maybe id believe in him but thats never fucking happened

id rather be an ugly boy than a pretty girl. as an ugly boy i would still be a boy. someones brother or son or boyfriend or dad. i could be that guy for someone. like this im not even gonna be someones sister or daughter, im gonna be dead. im not gonna fucking live at this rate. i promised past me that id get him somewhere he could feel like a person. get him somewhere he doesn't need to escape into fanfiction when he's there. get him somewhere where we can be one person again instead of two. but right fucking now theres me, a fucking man who will sock you in the face and has gone numb to pronoun euphoria and him, the one who sends a red hot shot through my spine every time specifically he is referred to as a guy

sorry for the bloddy ass vent post

[technowoah]

Hi! This is my first time doing a request for a prompt list but can you do prompts 1,34,25 if you can put those in one fanfic, or mini series. Again this is my first time requesting a prompt list thing. If you can’t fit those three in there you can just do 1 of them. If anything I wrote just made sense, sorry if it didn’t. Have a good day!

Rather Be Devisive Then Indecisive...

Thanks for the request! I decided to do Techno cause I need some Techno content here!

Sorry it took so long 😭

C! Techno x gen neutral! Reader (platonic)

1) "I fucking hate you" "please dont say that"

34) "one more chance please?" "You're being greedy"

25) "You're right. You are useless"

⚠︎ swearing, indecisive reader, angst, angst, mentions of weapons, mentions of death, mentions of tnt & explosions, Wilbur's last canon life, sad techno, I didn't proofread, this story is so fucking long-

"Dont you see history repeating itself?!"

You found yourself in a huge predicament right now while standing by Technoblade's side, adorned in netherite armor and weapons. You were facing against the people you used once to love, the people you eere supposed to kill. You hadn't seen Tommy's face so distraught in quite some time.

Everyone thought you were the traitor, you lost the trust of the people you once sided with and loved. You couldnt stand to see the pain Tommy had in his eyes and the betrayal Tubbo showed. It wasn't true, from what you heard it wasn't true.

You didn't just appear on Technoblade's side one day, it was a tough ride to follow. The beginning of your journey had you looking desperately for a place to be, a home. You were lost in the huge kingdom with huge monuments and different types of people.

Then came L'Manburg. A place where you could be free, at least they sold it like that. You had met Tommy and Tubbo while on the Prime Path and immediately asked about their blue war coats and they immediately introduced you to L'Manburg. You were accepted a while later, meeting the citizens and making connections with all of them.

Then came Manburg and Pogtopia which led you here next to Technoblade as he went on about replacing tyrant with another. You were always on Technoblade's side ever since he joined Pogtopia. All it took was constant literature sessions and talks about politics and you were on board with his ideals and his hate for government.

You were apart of L'Manburg before Pogtopia and Technoblade had changed your mind on government he made you see everything through a different lense and that lense was beautiful and clear. You adapted his ways of thinking quickly and became "one of his personal favorites" as he would say.

Technoblade set off a firework explosion and everyone screamed and scattered, that was the "go" you ended up attacking somone else that wasn't a close friend of yours. You were trying not to attack anyone, this wasnt your style. Yes, Techno had taught you fighting styles and how to become stronger but you didn't want to fight who you considered your family.

You eventually found yourself on a hill looking over the explosions and swords swinging in the gleaming sun. People below were looking in your direction quickly then heading back into battle wondering why there werent any fireworks hot from above, but you couldnt do it. You just couldn't bring yourself to soot the crossbow that was hanging on your hip. Techno kept looking up towards you as you looked back towards him in distraught.

Everyone was yelling until Dream had spoken up.

"You know who the trader was Tommy? Tommy the traitor was Wilbur."

No it couldn't be.

"No! Technoblade killed Tubbo and Y/N left us behind, they're the traitors!" Tommy exclaimed in confusion.

Your mind couldn't make up anything at the moment, was Wilbur the real traitor instead of everyone thinking it was you? Everyone was questioning if Dream was right or not, but you were so into your own mind you didn't hear that one faint scream that lead to many others.

The ground started shaking like a earthquake was about to happen and then the ground started to break apart and explode revealing the huge amounts of TNT that was placed under the stone and dirt. You felt uneasy as smoke, and debris flew from the ground and up into the air. You heard screams of agony who were caugh in the explosion, screams of anguish who witnessed the explosion and screams of joy.

Emotions flew through you like blood. This wasnt what was supposed to happen was is? You were a citezen of L'Manburg before a citizen of Pogtopia and this was the worst thing you have ever seen. The sky turned dark and grey, the place you used to call home is gone and the person who destroyed your home was the one who built it.

"Wilbur?!" You screamed as you saw him and Philza staning next to what looked like a man made cave in the hill.

Everyone else followed your line of sight and saw Wilbur standing next to Philza talking to him. Philza had a sword in his hand and what is seemed like arguing with Wilbur as well. Everything seemed so chaotic you didnt know what to focus on, Wilbur and Philza, Dream inevitably sneaking away, or Technoblade's glare at you from a top a building. You couldn't bring yourself to face Techno right now. Technoblade was a source of comfort for you, but at this moment you had no where to turn.

The straw that broke the camel's back was seeing Philza kill Wilbur. He pierced the sword through his heart and as Wilbur's legs couldn't hold himself up anymore Philza hugged his son and fell down to the ground with him hugging him in his last moments as everyone below screamed at Philza.

Your vision became blurry as tears welled up in your eyes. Everything was gone. You had nothing left to go back, no home, no Wilbur. It seemed like Tommy and Tubbo didn't want you back in their lives so it seemed hopeless. Falling to your knees you cradled your face in your hand trying to block out all of the commotion outside.

L'Manburg was like a home you always wanted but never had. They were like family and you grew too attached. You loved them like brothers and a sister. You loved them you grew attached to them as well, especially to Wilbur because you looked up to him as a leader and he took you under his wing when you had no where to go, he cared for you like a big brother. Tommy and Tubbo were also another two you grew too attached to because of Tommy's impulsiveness and Tubbo's attention to detail and caring for others.

After the fall of L'Manburg Technoblade had to make everything worse.

He had looked towards you one last time before getting into position.

"Are you just gonna sit there!? We have a job to do!" Techno said while unsheathing a sword.

"Isn't the job done already?!" You yelled back still sat on the hill.

Techno started to laugh. "Barely!"

He jumped down from the building and into some rubble underneath him and you followed him down the hill. Techno had brung out soul sand and began placing it on the ground with wither skeleton skulls in his hands. You walked over to him and he handed you a skeleton skull, you reluctantly took it out of his hands and you saw him smirk at your compliance.

Tommy began walking towards Techno and you in a fiery rage ready to fight him. He couldn't get straight to him because of a small gap the explosion made. Tommy was trying to keep everyone on that side, safe. Dream and Punz jumped over the gap and joined both you and Techno by the soul sand.

"Stop this right now Techno!"

"You stay over there Tommy!"

The two bickered back and forth until they eventually died down and Technoblade spoke up over the talking and yelling coming from the side Tommy was on.

"Tommy, do you think you're a hero? Is that what this is?" Techno said while letting his guard down for a moment and put his crossbow down.

"I just- I just wanted L'Manburg!" Tommy exclaimed back clearly confused.

You werent a stranger to Technoblade's speeches you were a fan of them really, but not when its against someone you would consider a brother.

Technoblade spoke up over Tommy. "You wanted power.

"I wanted L'Manburg, thats all I ever wanted. I wanted..." Tommy stopped talking for a moment, like he was thinking.

"Tommy you just did a coup! You just did a hostile government takeover and then immediately instilled yourself as president." Techno explained to him in a more serious voice than before.

"And then you gave it to your friend, but that still a tyrant Tommy!"

"But the thing about his world Tommy, is that good things dont happen to heros. Let me tell you a story Tommy. A story of a man called Theseus."

Technoblade had taught you about Greek literature and how they could be compared to people in the kingdom today. He so happened to find correlations between Tommy and Theseus at this moment.

You were still anxiously waiting for Technoblade's long speech to end so you could get this heartbreak over with. The need to cry more never became more apparent until now, the need ro run away and never come back but you wanted to listen.

"His country was endagered and he sent himself forward into enemie lines, he slayed the minotaur and saved his city. You know what they did to him Tommy?!"

"What did they do-"

"They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people. Thats what happens to heros Tommy." Techno finished his Greek mythology speech.

Tubbo spoke up from behind Tommy. "But he saved everyone!"

"The Greeks knew the score, but if you want to be a hero Tommy that's fine." Technoblade started walking backwards with a wither skulls in each hand.

You had soul sand infront of you and you were waiting till Technoblade set the first wither out into the world. There were wither skulls in the brown grass so you all could quickly put the skulls ontop if the sand. Technoblade thought it was a good idea to have multiple withers flying in L'Manburg at once. You and Techno were probably going to get attacked by the withers too because withers dont know who made them, they just attack.

"Technoblade dont do this! We're so close! Im not the hero! No one's the hero!" Tommy pleaded and that made your heart drop.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?! THEN DIE LIKE ONE!"

There it is. Techno started placing the skeleton heads on the soul sand and you followed suit placing three skulls onto the other. The two withers started to form and grow besides you and Technoblade. You didnt want to do this at all. You could hear the screams from the former Pogtopia and L'Manburg citizens, this wasnt what you wanted. You didn't want Wilbur to die, you didn't want L'Manburg to go, and of course you didnt want your family to die.

Technoblade grabbed your hand and led you to a higher plane, both of you dodging the blows the withers were giving out to anyone in their way. You had made it a top of the building Technoblade was before. You felt like your lungs had no air in them, from the running and and seeing Tommy desperately trying to fight a wither above him, Tubbo shooting arrows next to Quackity and the withers making Wilbur's explosion bigger than it was.

Technoblade started laughing at the destruction and the screams of the people below. You knew Technoblade was a dangerous man, he killed and did it for his own reasons that you didnt argue against. He had told you that he will tell you one day, but this wasnt that day. You didn't want to hear anything from him, you had lost everything.

"I fucking hate you." You breathed out in disbelief at the destruction below.

"Please dont say that." Techno rolled his eyes.

"You're not telling the truth-"

"MY LIFE IS GONE TECHNO! I- My home is gone! Wilbur is gone! Where do I go?!"

"Hou have me! What are you talking about? Did you just blindly follow me?! Newsflash I'm not Wilbur, Im not Schlatt! Im my own person that dosent associate with government so might as well destroy the government physically." Techno looked back out into the chaos.

"This cant be the way!"

"Do you have another plan?!"

"If I did it wouldn't have mattered." You said calming down, but still angry.

"Should've said something sooner." Techno said while walking away from the edge of the building and away from you.

"Again, it wouldn't have mattered." You said as a final statement before he walked away.

You didnt know where he was going nor did you care at this point. You retreated for now and found yourself back in Pogtopia. Going down into the decorated cave and reminiscing on times shared. The moments where Tommy was messing with Wilbur, when Tubbo immediately relaxed when he found himself around Pogtopia and he could be himself, when Techno and you had extremely deep talks in the potato farm.

You ended up going back to your home later that night trying to clear your mind and trying to know where to go next. The next morning your feet had a mind of its own that morning because you ended up at Tommy's house. You had knocked on his door and he swung it opened it with his widened eyes not expecting you to be there. He was bandaged up more than usual, he had scars on his hands and face too. It was a sad sight for you.

"Y/N?! What are you doing here!? I didn't-"

You cut Tommy off by hugging him and trying not to cry at the sight.

"Im so sorry Tommy." You said regretting everything.

"Im sorry I hurt you."

"Hey calm down. I forgive you, but it's gonna be hard ya know?" Tommy explained as you let him go sniffling.

"I understand, you shouldn't feel obligated to forgive me I know its going to be hard to help them grow even though I betrayed them." You slightly laughed and Tommy smiled.

You felt accomplished that day. You hung out with Tommy the whole day, then found Tubbo as well. They both accepted you but slowly but surely were going to forgive you. You hated that they were in pain but they knew you were in pain as well. Later that day you sat down with the both of them and wrote letters to everyone wanting to reconnect again. The two had said they would help deliver the letters while you delivered some too.

The day turned into night and you and Tubbo were currently walking around doing nothing in particular. Tommy had headed home as you promised to visit him tomorrow. You and Tubbo both ended up on the topic of Phil. Silence fell upon you two, you didn't know what to say about that. You didn't know Phil that well, but he seemed regretful. Wilbur's death became a touchy subject between you two. Tubbo then asked you about Technoblade and you had no answer to that either.

Technoblade left without telling you anything at first you didnt care, but now you are slightly regretting having that stupid fight. Days continued to go on and your regret became more apparent each and every day. You had reconnected with former L'Manburg members and asked for forgiveness. It was a slow process but you all became closer in due time.

Technoblade and your relationship grew further apart and you noticed that. You never seen him since the final day of L'Manburg until one day.

You had visited the abandoned and long forgotton Pogtopia once more longing for the days before all Hell broke loose.

"What are you doing here?" You turned your head to see Technoblade standing not too far away from you.

"What are YOU doing here?! Where have you been?" You exclaimed not knowing whether to run to him or stand still.

"Well im used to being left alone. It's not that hard you should try it sometimes."

"Last thing I remember was you walking away."

"Last thing I remember was you yelling at me and telling me that you fucking hated me." Techno said matching your tone.

"I was in a bad place at that moment." You tried to justify your actions when in reality you couldn't.

"Weren't you all!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" You said getting defensive.

"I mean all of you L'Manburgians. You all were going through something. That something was the death of your leader and the inevitable death if your country. You apparently never let go of that side, L'Manburg is still with you somehow." Techno explained to you.

He always read you like an open book. You still never let go of L'Manburg and thats why you went back and left your and Technoblade's relationship behind. Yes that was your fault, but you can try and reconnect, try to build trust again.

"Can't I be with them and you at the same time?" You asked, while your confidence left your body.

"NO! WHAT?! Why would you say that?! Have you been listening to me?!"

"I have! You-"

"No you clearly fucking havent! They are feeding into the very thing they sought to destroy! History is repeating and you going back is only encouraging it! Soon enough the new "L'Manburg" will fall time and time again!" Technoblade yelled clearly fed up with the conversation.

"Technoblade. I wanted to make ammends with you! I wanted to be on your side again!" You pleaded.

"Apparently not because you keep runnning to L'Manburg!"

You were getting desperate, it felt like everything was lost again. Why did you have to chose between anti-government and pro-government. You didnt have to, you just needed your friendship that was torn apart glued back together. The need to rekindle the friendship between you and Technoblade began to exceed everything else and continued to cloud your mind.

"One more chance please?!"

"You're being greedy." Techno taunted.

"Techno listen! I-"

"I am listening." He interrupted you on purpose.

"Seriously I wanted to rekindle our friendship so please just let me do this!" You pleaded.

"That's not going to be happening anytime soon. You know Im usually the one being left, but now that I see you like this I now understand why people leave others." He laughed.

You stayed silent and that gave him the opportunity to speak more.

"Those that have treated me with kindness, I will repay that kindness tenfold. And those that treat me with injustice, that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends. I shall pay that injustice a thousand times over."

Another speech he would use another time. Your gaze was set on the stone ground beneath you. You couldn't face him and you knew he was talking about you. You weren't going to get the happy ending you always dreamt of. You were always aware of falling out of friendships but you never knew that one of your falling friendships would hurt this badly.

"All that time ago, you're right, you were right. You are useless."

"I dont need you anymore." Technoblade continued and ascended up the stairs to leave. He left you alone down in Pogtopia, it was hard.

"I came here to get actual shit done, but it turns out I couldn't." You heard Technoblade mumble upstairs before you were for sure he left.

You were left in the once lively underground community of Pogtopia. It was quiet and still now with the only thing was a small cool whispering of the wind.

You had your family, slowly but surely it was coming together but now everything seemed more broken than ever. Unbeknownst to you everything would get worse.

[tender-rosiey]

❥— I Can’t...

❥— Dazai Osamu

❥— Angst

❥— Part 2 [Fluff Continuation]

ᴀ/ɴ because this has been in my mind for too long and I am too lazy to continue the rest of my drafts let’s all cry together <3

Warnings: mentions of death and blood

“Here you go kid; we don’t need her anymore.”

Was what the man said before throwing the severely injured form yours infront of Dazai. The boy’s eyes widened as he ran to you ignoring the fleeing men.

“Y/N!”

He bent down to you and held you close to his chest. “Love, can you hear me?!” He desperately shouted before cupping your face with one hand making you look up to him.

You eyes were losing their light...”Y/N DONT LEAVE ME PLEASE!” He pleaded as tears were forming in his eyes, this isn’t how your story should end. Your eyes opened a little and the first thing to meet your eye was the crying form of your lover.

“Osamu don’t cry...what happened to the heartless executive?” You joked despite being in death’s way.

He replied still tears falling down his face “I DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING JUST PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME. JUST HANG ON A LITTLE LONGER AND WE WILL BOTH BE OKAY; WE WILL BOTH START SAVING PEOPLE TOGETHER LIKE ODASAKU SAID!”

Right, this is after the death of his dear friend. Are you going to follow the same path as him?

He wouldn’t be able to handle it...No it you too. Anyone but you, he, still tears escapin his eyes uncontrollably, hoped for anything to happen that can save you.

Your hand reached weakly to Dazai’s faces wiping his tears as blood came out of almost everywhere from you body. Your stained with blood figure broke him.

“Osamu, it’s fine..I am glad the last thing I see before my death is you though.” You smiled weakly at the end of your sentence while Dazai said “Love don’t say that, you will be okay, you will be alright, please...”

You carreseed his cheek in hopes of giving him at least some of the warmth left in your will-be-corpse of a body then spoke softly “Honey, you should try living and maybe find a woman that will make you happier-“ “THERE IS NO ONE IN MY HEART AND THERE WILL BE NO ONE OTHER THAN YOU!”

“You are the only one that I can ever show my true self to, the only one I can be happy with, the only one I feel complete with so please..please Y/N don’t leave me. I am begging you.” He sobbed harder then ever before eyes starting to get swollen because of how much he cried.

“You can try-“ “I DONT WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU- I cant live without you. Love you are the only reason why I am alive and the only reason I look forward to tomorrow..”

You smiled as you saw a light..is this the end? You leaned more into his chest with a body colder than before, “You know, you have a good heart deep down, love. And like Odasaku said be on the side that saves people.”

You pulled him weakly to you, lips connecting for the last time in your lives with tears cascading down his face like a waterfall. He didn’t want to let go, not yet. He held onto you until you both pulled back.

He wanted to savor it all, but this was too short and when you said with your last breath..

“I love you.”

His world broke.

Your body went numb. No warmth. Your hand left his cheek hitting the concrete like hammer sentencing the death of one’s life at court. Difference being that right now you couldn’t be proven innocent. Nothing could be done to stop what happened.

The body in his arms still reminding him about the pain and sorrow, not that he would ever forget this night. This fateful night that broke every opening he made in his heart because she restored his faith in living a little.

His empty heart now as black as coal as he screamed in absolute agony and pain. Strained voice and swollen red eyes. He is too tired and hurt to do anything but he swore to avenge you. Why him out of everyone?

But he couldn’t concentrate on anything but what he felt like and with all what he knows.

And with that all he knew. All he knew was.

Desolation, isolation, despair, sorrow, hatred and pain is all he knew at the moment. Misery is what he went through till this moment, but what happened right now is worth millions of other corpses. The light of his life disappearing after he, after more than sorrow one could go through, finds it.

Does the world hate him this much?

But he couldn’t care less about what the world thought about him.

After his cries when quiet, the boy stood up carrying in his arms. You deserve a better place to be buried in. He put your corpse in a safe place before he turned around for the foes.

“no one is leaving this place alive.”

And so he was true to his words, there wasn’t a single living body all around him; all dead bodies with blood splattered on them but none of them mattered.

A truly terrifying massacre; one cause by an 18 year old who lost his dear person. There was no sign of life. No heartbeating. No sounds. Silence filled the air. A very painful silence.

It made him think again about his lover whom he approached her cold body and placed his head on her chest still reaching out for her hope despite it all. Tears dwelling in his eyes all over again.

“I am sorry, belladonna.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Nakajima Atsushi-kun.”

“Yes?” Answered said male his superior.

“Do you know whose grave this is?”

“No but it’s someone dear to you, right?”

‘Dearer than the sun to the plant, dearer than the money to the poor, dearer than a pen to a writer, and dearer than the oxygen to a human...’ thought the brunette.

Y/N L/N

“What makes you think that?” The brunette asked.

“I’ve never seen you pay a visit to a grave.” The white haired boy replied.

“Does it look like I am visiting a grave to you?” Then the man asked.

“It does. Why?”

‘Then I am glad that my feelings reach someone, maybe it can reach her too...’

“Was it someone you were in love with?” The white haired boy continued.

The brunette’s eyes widened at the guess but narrowed again as he remembered the events.

‘Somoene I am so in love with that no one can replace the hole in my heart that they filled with ease. The only person that saw through me with no effort and always stayed by my side. I never wanted to see her hurt or in pain. I wanted her to be the happiest.’

“If it were a woman I loved; I’d have died with her”

‘Wrong, i couldn’t stand seeing you in pain or hurt. Let alone see you dying. But I did. And if it isn’t the most painful thing my heart went through then I don’t know what is...’

“Oh yeah I guess you would’ve..” the white haired boy concluded.

“Dazai-San why are you crying?” Atsushi asked worry lacing his words.

Dazai’s eyes widened in shock as he touched his cheek to feel hot tears streaming down his face.

He chuckled bitterly before he looked up ‘would you look at that y/n, my love, even in death you shoot my heart and make me the most vulnerable man to live..’

“I got something in my eye let’s just go.”

‘You would think I am doing well but belladonna I swear I can’t continue living like this. I will join sooner or later but I want to make sure nothing will happen after my death...’

‘I love you belladonna...my y/n’

copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[badwolf-winchester]

Ancient Bloodlines

Pairing: Loki x Emy Nightstar (OC)

OC Summary: Emy is the newest Avenger. She specializes in Magic and close range attacks/ weapons. Her heritage is unknown to her as she was left at an orphanage door step when she was a young girl with only the memory of her name. She goes by her nickname Emy but has never told anyone her full name as its a reminder of her being abandoned. Emy can see through any illusion and Magic no matter how powerful they are or how strong the magic is and is unaware of this. Her powers include Telekinesis, Elemental Control, True Sight (as stated above) Enhanced healing and Shifting (she wont discover this till much later in the story). She loves to read, listen to music, play violin, sing, and draw.

Story Info: Takes place after infinity wars. Tony and Natasha are alive Steven comes back from the future after giving back the infinity stones. Vision is alive and living with Wanda in the tower. Thor and Loki live in the tower with the rest of the Avengers and for the sake of the story Himedall is alive and living with the rest of the Asgardians on earth in New Asgard (you will find out why later)

One last thing: Please do not repost my work on any other site or social media, however reblogging on here is fine. I work hard on all of my fanfics and it’s disappointing when people take my work as their own. I am the creater of all my OCs such as Sora Nightstar, Emy Nightstar, and Lithium Nightstar. My inbox is open for any and all requests as i am a multi fandom writer. Let me know how you like the story and i will do my best to answer any and all questions. As always i encourage any and all feedback as it helps with my writing. I hope you all like it!

The Beginning

They say that your parents are there to teach you the rules of the world, but what happens when you have no parents? Who will teach you then? The world is cruel but people are crueler. Ive learned this first hand when the person i trusted most in this world left me on the door step of the St. Trinity’s Orphanage. I was 9 when my mother told me she didn’t want me anymore and i guess I couldn’t really blame her. I mean who could love someone who couldn’t control the powers that grew with each passing year. Someone who started fires out of thin air when they had nightmares, conjured whirlwinds when startled, unfurled earthquakes when angered, spring forth rain showers when sad, and levitate objects when riddled with anxiety. I will never forget that day for its seared into my mind like its own person brand echoing with every beat of my heart. A monster thats what she called me, her own flesh and blood was a monster in her eyes, and i could see the relief when she ran from the solid oak door finally rid of the burden she had to put up with throughout the years. An abomination she cried as she reached the cobblestone sidewalk eager to be rid of me and by the pace she was going at i could tell she had more spring in her step than on the walk over from the bus we exited from. Unnatural she bellowed as she disappeared around the corner a ghost of a smile springing from her lips as she disappeared. These where the last words i would ever hear from my mother, if thats what you would call her.

Emy’s POV

Tonight was just like any other. Crisp cold air submerged the city in a blanket of dark and silence while it settled into your bones. I never minded the cold in fact I welcomed it, it reminded me of the cabin i found one year after running away from one of the many abusive foster homes i was forced to stay with. I’ll admit it was one of the times I was able to avoid the social workers for longer than a week and the happiest I had ever been in my life up until i was captured by Hydra. When I had a flair up with my powers, which usually ended up being fire, i would immediately get sent back to St. Trinity’s but this time i ran before they had the chance to toss me aside. The staff there used to place bets on how long i would stay with a family, they would joke saying i was cursed or jinxed but i knew the truth, no one wanted me. Once the parents found out about my abilities I was sent packing. I was labeled as a flight risk and a danger to others which only deepened my anti socialism.

Walking through the streets of New York i pull my dark purple jacket on and my dark brown hair in a pony tail as I get closer to my destination. Because i don’t feel the effects of the cold weather Tony, being such the dad figure he is, has made it his priority to make sure i still wear one just incase so here i was walking home in black ripped up jeans, a black v neck T-shirt, black and purple checkered vans and a light weight dark purple jacket. With my headphones in my ears and “I like it heavy” by Halestorm blasting I make my way to the place i call home, Stark Tower. Walking through the front doors i make my way past the receptionist who always greets me with a bright smile. As I walk towards the elevator I give her a small smile back and a head nod. After entering the elevator and pressing the button for the penthouse I start to reflect on how i got here.

By the time i was 15 Hydra found me in that cabin and took me away. I went from hopping from family to family to being used as a science experiment, constantly being poked and prodded just so they could get a reaction out of me. As a child my powers where very unstable mostly flaring up with my emotions, its no wonder that Hydra caught wind of me its not like i was hiding it very well or more so that i couldn’t hide it. They tried to wipe my memory to gain control of me “a blank slate” is what they wanted, but for some reason, they failed as I wasn’t susceptible to their conditioning methods no matter how much time i spent in the chair. However, I could tell they were scared of me I could see it in their eyes. This didn’t last long though as they used what they called their perfect weapon code name Winter Soldier to beat me into submission. After that first meeting that left me with a broken arm and a fractured ankle i started to obey, since then Ive met the Soldier a couple of times but if he remembers me he dosent let on and I dont blame him, he has been in that chair so many times Im genuinely surprised he can even remember how to walk. He is stronger than the others as most of the other test subjects had turned to vegetables after the 4th mind wipe, he was on his 10th the last time i saw him with Hydra.

Another test was done on me and this one was different. They used a teseract? If thats what they called it I can’t be sure nor did I care all I could feel was pain like as if someone injected lava in my veins. After they injected me I started screaming after a while I couldn’t even hear myself anymore, my throat was so sore and horse from the constant roar of my agony I just wanted it to end. How long was I out for? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Days? Years? They didn’t keep clocks there or at least not in the dungeon like cell they had me in. When the fire faded i was left with this numbness and after further tests I realized that I was immune to fire. I can literally stick my hand in fire and i will be left untouched and unscorched. They did the same test with freezing temperatures to see if they could subdue me at least in some way. I must have been out longer than just a couple of days as during the tests i didn’t recognize any of the Doctors. In that moment I realized something, if they were trying to contain me then something must have happened to the soldier. It was time to plan my escape.

Back in my cell i could hear footsteps approaching me and then stop short. One of the scientists frantically trying to talk some sense into someone just out of my line of sight. “She is immune to anything we throw at her sir. We have done every test we could there is nothing left for us to do.” One of the goons in a lab coat stated to what i assumed is a higher up. “Bolden If her powers keep growing at the rate they are it could be days in which she will be unstoppable and with the soldier gone we dont have anything that can keep her in line. She broke Mandy and Rays arms the last time we tested her. She is getting too strong.” Brining a hand up to his chin the higher up Bolden stepped out of the shadows and looked at me with deep interest before he turned to looked at the man and scoffed. As he walked away i felt a cold chill ran down my back as I anticipated what was to become of me; I knew it was nothing good i had already broken their rules. His next words only confirmed what I feared. “ Its simple. Break her spirit or kill her Doctor. And when i say break her i mean in anyway means necessary.” His sadistic laugh is the last thing i remember before everything went black.

Its been 2 years since i have escaped and now I’m living in the avengers tower. I don’t remember what happened after that night in my cell its all a blur of red, screams, and gunshots. When i woke up next i was in a 6ft crater where I was being held captive without a scratch on me. Trees were uprooted and fallen over as if a bomb went off. Luckily the Avengers showed up not long after me waking up and took me to their base where i met Directer Fury. With his permission and 24/7 surveillance provided by Tony Stark via FRIDAY and training sessions to get my powers under control i was allowed to join the Avengers and fight for good. Little did i know that by agreeing to this I would end up in the path of a certain God or Gods who were also taking residence at the tower.

With the sound of a *ding* the elevator shook me out of my mind and back to the present. As i exited the elevator I pulled my head phones out of my ears and was instantly met with the sound of Tony losing his mind. “Where did she go? She knows she can’t be out this late. She could be taken again! Its 5 minutes past her curfew!” Rolling my eyes I roll my headphones up and shove them in my pocket and round the corner. “Tony it takes 5 minutes to get from the lobby to the penthouse calm down. I bet she will walk through that door anytime now.” Came the sweet voice of reason of none other than Pepper Potts. “I’m Home.” I said in a deadpan voice as i walked by the couple only for Tony to stand up and intercept me by placing a hand on my upper arm. “Where did you go and why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?” I looked at him and raised an eyebrow pushing his hand off me. “Tony its Wednesday. I have training with Strange on Wednesdays and I had Friday alert you as I was leaving but you were in the lab with Bruce.” Not sure what to say next Tony mumbled a small apology. “Sorry I was just worried about you. I know you are grown enough to make your own choices as you are 25 but I just want to make sure you are safe. How was the training with The Wizard?” Sighing and shaking my head just wanting to go the library and read I decided to just let it go. “Strange is a hard ass that much you already know. It wasnt bad actually I think I’m warming up to him. I didn’t spontaneously throw him to the wall when he snuck up behind me as i was going over the ancient texts so i call that improvement.” I said sheepishly while side stepping around him. “I’m gonna go to the library now and grab some light reading before bed you guys have a good night.” With out waiting for a response I quickly made my way towards my new destination only to have Tony saying something about guests in the house but I ignored him.

Pushing open the library door I make my way to the poetry section to grab my usual copy of Edgar Allen Poe that I read before bed. As my had reached for the spot i knew i put the book in i find that its not there. “Wait what? Where is my book? I know I put it back here before I left for training so where did it go?” Frustrated I stomp back over to the entrance and rip open the door ready to go on a murder spree while shouting down the hallway. “CLINT! You better give me back my night time book or I’m breaking all your arrows again! No one reads in this tower but me! How stupid do you think I am!?” Straining my ears I listen for any type of movement but was met with dead silence. After a minute I finally hear movement through the vents coming from the west part of the tower and I take off sprinting. Sliding around a corner I barely miss colliding with Steve and Bucky who look like they were on their way back from a mission. Offering a quick apology before I continue my pursuit I hear Steve yell “Hey! No running in the tower!” Not faltering in my hot pursuit of the Hawk thief I continue to zip through the tower ignoring the Captains words until i was almost to the vent that lead to the 2 level family room. Using the railing for the steps leading down to the family area to give me more height i jumped as close to the vent as possible and conjured my signature Scythe to slice through it while twisting in the air kicking the vent free and off its track. A shocked and terrified scream resonates from the vent as the culprit falls to the ground with a thud and a grunt. I landed in a crouched position and slowly straightened to my full hight. “What the hell Emy?! When did you learn to do that?!” Clint yells as he sits up rubbing his left shoulder that he landed on. I started stalking towards him with the blade of my scythe scrapping across the ground as i went while giving him a death glare. “Give me back my book Barton.” At the mention of his last name his head snapped up to me fear replacing the pain from his fall. “Oh shit last name not good.” Scrambling up on his feet he turns and runs towards the common room that connects to the elevator with me hot on his tail and my scythe trailing behind me in my right hand.

“Shit shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!!” He yells as he makes it fully to the room only to fling forward as i jump and kick his back tired of all the running. Twirling my weapon around I place it at his neck sneering at him. “I will not ask you again.” I said placing pressure on his neck with my blade. Sensing a fast moving object coming from my left from the kitchen I move my head back 3 inches as what looked like a hammer flew by me embedding itself in the wall. Turning my head slowly in the direction of the flying object, I confirmed it was indeed a hammer that was thrown at me. Irritation flared through me as i released Clint from the end of my scythe and turned fully to the kitchen to face my attacker. There stood 2 men that i did not recognize, one tall oak of a man with blond short hair, blue eyes and tan skin in blue jeans, a red T-shirt ,and grey jacket. the other shorter man made me stare at him and faultier for a second as he was so different from anyone i have ever seen, dark blue skin covered his entire body with darker almost black symbols and piercing red eyes, long black hair with black jeans, a green dress shirt and black jacket. Tearing my gaze away from his own curious one i looked between both men before i clenched my jaw letting my irritation settle back in. “Which one of you threw that hammer.” I said venom dripping with every word. “Whoa its ok Emy thats just Thor and Loki they are the asgardian Gods that live here in the tower part time when they are not in Norway.” Clint said standing up quickly. Not moving from my position i narrowed my eyes and flicked them over in Clint’s direction. The ground started to shake as my irritation and annoyance grew to anger remembering what i was doing before being interrupted by the Gods. Throwing his hands up in surrender he then quickly reached into his back pocket and retrieved my book. “Ok ok dont blow a fuse Em.” He said while tossing me my possession stopping me from causing an earthquake. Catching it in the air with my left had I inspected the book to make sure it wasn’t damaged before I let go of my scythe, with a wave of my hand it disappeared back to the pocket dimension I keep it in then looked back at Clint as the tremors stopped. “Touch my things again and i will be wearing your guts like my mom’s pashmina.” I said to the thief before walking out of the room and disappeared down the hallway not giving the Gods a second glance. As I entered my room i could hear a silky voice ring out from the kitchen. “Well isnt she interesting.”

Part 2 coming soon

@nickkie1129

[nctworststuff]

Pairing- Boyfriend!Renjun x nospecific!reader

Warning-Death,Cancer

Genre: Angst

a/n: Here what you guys got after a months I’m not post anything. Also Thank you my friend,Lucy because helping me a lot :). Hope you guys like it

He always with you

He avoided meeting with you lately. You missed to spend time with him so much. You missed his scent, his hugs, his kisses, his presence, but most importantly, you missed him.

You recently spent a lot of time in your apartment, all by yourself. Watching movies, drinking hot chocolate and staying under your fluffy blanket. Sometimes you went to hangout with your friends, but not as often as you used to. However, today you couldn't take it anymore. I have to visit him, now!

Deep inside you knew that he would never cheat on you. What if something bad had happen to him? Maybe he got sick or maybe something in his family came up? You didn't know. Helplessly you scrolled through your media social. Usually, he would be active on Instagram. Always adding things to his story or at least posting the pictures he made. But ever since 3 weeks ago, you haven't seen him post a single thing. As if he vanished.

You took a look at your photo gallery on your phone. It's filled with pictures of you and Renjun. Everytime the two of you had met in the past months, you had taken at least one picture. Are you okay, renjun?

You didn't want to waste your time anymore, so you walked into your bedroom to change your outfit. You arrived at his house that felt like a second home to you. Big dark clouds covered the sky and sun. It may rain soon. You slowly walked to the door and opened it with the spare key Renjun gave you not so long ago.

You couldn't see him when you entered. Maybe he is in his bedroom? You steped further into his apartment. It was a big mess. You tried to comprehend what could've happened here. The TV was on, adding some noise to the otherwise quiet space. Some old snacks that have neither been fully eaten nor thrown away, covered the floor. It surely wasn't healthy for him to life in all this trash.

You finally went upstairs and pressed the door handle down slowly after knocking and getting no reply. Who knows, maybe he's sleeping? However  you suddenly heard a faint crying sound instead of the silence. What's happening to him? Thousands of thoughts were running in your head, creating one scenario worse than the other. "Renjun?" You softly called out his name and fully opened the door. He turned his head and body to look at you, surprised by your arrival. His eyes were more red than white and his face looked as white as freshly fallen snow did.

"Y/n? W-what are you doing here?" He looked at you with what you could only assume was an angered expression. You slowly approached him and sat down on his mattress beside him. You hesitantly leaned your head on his shoulder and put your hand on his thigh, joining his own one. Oh, how often you had fiddled with his slender fingers before. They were just as beautiful as the art they created, but now they were just dried skin and bone. You were convinced, something bad happen to him!

"And why are you crying?", you asked him in return, probably a bit too late, but not that it matered anyways. He kept quiet for about a minute, before taking a deep breath and forcing those awful words out of his mouth. "I have a disease! I-I have cancer..." He closed his eyes tightly to hold himself back from sobbing. The fear that lived within him ever since the doctor told him he was going to die earlier than expected, suddenly skyrocket in your presence.

Shutting you out in the hope of making you forget him, had been so much easier than seeing your heart break right in front of him. You didn't deserve the pain he caused you, so why...? Why are you still here y/n? Why couldn't you stay away from me? "So that's the reason why you pushed me away? The reason you avoided me? Why didn't you tell me? Renjun? Explain it to me. Please explain everything." you looked at his eyes that beared so many emotions, while he bit his chapped lips.

"I-I don't know. I... I was just so, so scared. Actually, I-I knew I had cancer... It... They told me a year ago."

His confession was interrupted by a hiccup. He started crying again and put his hand on his face. You've been together for 3 years and he kept this a secret for all the time, telling you just now? "I-I'm only going to live for one more week. My doctor said there is no other way for me." Why? Why did he need to leave like this? Couldn't he be healthy and grow old with me? Searching in your confused and helpless mind you looked for a solution.

"Hey, i-it's okay. Its not your fault! I-I could spend all my money for your surge-", but he cut you off with a harsh movement by his hand. "You heard what I said. There's no chance, y/n!" Now your eyes were filling with tears, blurring your sight. This can't be true! "You said you would never leave me. You- You promised." The tears poured out of their home, painting a wet line down your cheeks until they dropped down your chin, falling. You too, felt like falling. You were so angry, but not at him, no, he didn't wanted this either. You were angry at the situation. At the fact that you couldn't do Anything.

Watching your little emotional breakdown, Renjun stayed quiet. After he had avoided meeting you for so long, seeing you come back to him, crying with him, still caring for him, there was only one thing he wanted. "Y/n? Can I ask for one last thing, before death is taking me?" He moved his hand to your shoulder, pressing it softly. "Anything for you, Renjun!" You desperately looked into his eyes, meeting his softened expression. "I just want to spend my last week with you. Please. One last time?"

Day 2

Standing in the kitchen for about half an hour, you had made a healthy breakfast for the two of you, since he loved your cooking. You poured some hot porridge into his favourite bowl and placed it on the tray. Walking slowly to not drop anything you brought the food to his bedroom. He was still asleep, looking utterly peaceful.

While you put the tray on a near small table, you called his name softly, to wake him up. Upon hearing his name, his eyelids fluttered open. Still a bit sleepy, he rubbed his eyes and gave you a questioning look. "I made some porridge for you. Should I... feed you?" You smiled at him shyly. He could just nod his head, feeling exhausted even after taking such a long nap.

You sat down beside him and took the spoon to feed him. He followed your every move as you put the still warm porridge in his mouth. A big smile suddenly stretched across his cheeks. "I knew your cooking would never disappoint me!", he complimented, making you giggle. Yet, you couldn't ignore the sad feeling in your chest, knowing you had to accept the fact that he was going to die soon. Only five days would be left after today.

Of course Renjun noticed the way your expression changed. “I dont like to see you sad. Please smile for me” He grabbed your other hand too, making you smile. The smile only he got to see. You don't even know if the sweet smile you were currently wearing on your face would show up for another guy, but for now it seems like it is just for Renjun, who finally noticed the bracelet on your wrist.

"You still wear that bracelet?” His eyes fixated on your wrist. You just watched him with sparkling eyes, while thinking back to how you got that gift.  “Of course! It looks so pretty and it bears a lot of memories for me!” He smiled at you with just the same sparkles glowing in his eyes, making your heart beat unbelievable fast in your chest. You didn't knew why, but the comforting feeling of love, the love created between the two of you, filled your now shared room. Softly touching your own cheeks you felt how they heated up.

“It's- wait... I gave you the bracelet 5 years ago, when it was your birthday? A-and we still didn't turn into lovers that day, did we?”, his eyes widened. You simply nodded and started chuckling, him joining not much later. Of course you could still remember the day he gave you the precious bracelet. He was being so shy back then, when he planned to give it to you. Haechan, Mark and all the other dreamies kept hyping him up, after he gave it to you.

“You know what? I really can't believe our relationship will just end soon. I really thought we would last longer. I'm sorry!” He smiled at you again, but this time it was a sad smile. You sighed, closing your eyes in agony. “It's not your fault, it never was, Renjun! After all, these moments are the most precious ones that we have. Trust me, I will love and remember you until I take my last breath!” I'll really do! Besides bringing it up first, you hated talking about his disease so much.

Not because you blamed it on him. Not because you couldn't believe, he was going to die soon, no. You hated talking about it because you feared being left behind. You hated the fact that you'll eventually forget about him. That you'll forget how he smelled, how his hands felt, how his hugs felt. And the worst thing was, that you'll forget how it felt to be loved by him. When did all your laughter turn into cries?

Day 4

"Look! It's your favourite flower!” Renjun points his finger to a small bunch of flowers in the middle of the park. You loved going to this park with him before and today wasn't any different. Softly swining your linked hands back and forth and slowly walking near your favourite flower felt like one of those cliché moments from a drama. Especially when you kneeled down to smell on it.

The heavy, but lively smell of the rose lingered in your nose, bringing up even more memories. Renjun gave you one of those exact roses, when he had confessed that he liked you. A small grin made it's way to your lips. “It looks so pretty.”, Renjun said while putting his arm around your shoulders, “Pretty like you!” You couldn't help, but roll your eyes. This was typically him. Renjun loved to compliment and tease you at the same time

You loved the moments when he was simply being himself. He was acting different. Usually he would be rather harsh, or how people liked to put it, ignorant towards other people’s feelings. But he always cared for you. You were his soft spot. It was only normal that couples had little fights from time to time, but renjun never let the two of you be angry at each other for a long time.

He always was the first one to apologize, or if it wasn’t his mistake, he would still want to make up, inviting you to do something that you liked. His classic line which always worked was weather you would want to eat some food ugh him. It was one of the many personality traits that you liked about him

“Ah! I really want to draw the pond and swan over there! It’s unbelievable pretty!” He excitedly took out his paintings tools and moved the stuff around until it stood perfectly within his reach while drawing. You just followed him and tried to not get in his way.

Tipping the smallest brush into the water glass, he started to draw the perfect scenery in front of you. He truly was talented at this. You couldn’t help but admire the way he let the colors dance on the Canva “Your drawing is so unbelievable. It really does look like it’s real”

His face lit up,once the words left your mouth “This is the last painting I”ll before I’m gone. I want it to be perfect!”he still smiled at you, but his eyes showed how he truly felt. The sadness dominating any other feels. Once again, you sighed. It has been almost 3 years, since you’ve been a couple and now you two just stood there, waiting for him to leave

Quickly noticed How your mood shifted towards a bad one, you tried to change the topic

There will be enough time for me to sad once he left

“Do you remember that this place is the first place we met and-“ “The place where I confessed my feelings for you?” He finished your sentence with a smirk. Chuckling you nodded at the statement

That day he called you and asked you to meet him at the park “ can you cell me?” was that he said, when he actually was going to confess to you. You can’t forget that day. You never will. It’s a very precious moment to you, even if he stuttered a lot and the confession felt really awkward too

“Your birthday is this week, isn’t it?” Renjun suddenly asked. You stopping your thoughts. Right, you totally forgot about your birthday. Surprised you just hummed and nodded. “What do you want for your birthday?” You didn’t need to think twice “I just want you stay alive and healthy. I wish you could always be my side” you smile confidently

That will never happen

It was obvious to renjun, but to avoid you sadder he just smile sweetly at you instead of responding “Can we go somewhere after this? Maybe the shopping mall?” You asked him. He looked at you and hugged you close to his chest “Of course!”

He would spend his time with you wisely and make sure that every precious and special moment will never be forgotten

Day 7

I can't lose him! Please!

You buried your face into his shoulder and grabbed his sweater like your own life depended on holding it. You couldn't believe he was going to die in less than a day. He couldn't... Your fragile, pathetic hope only faded more when he started coughing. In the last few days his condition extremely worsened and you tried to understand why people needed to suffer before dying so much. Isn't death enough?

“It's your birthday tomorrow, isn't it?”, he quietly asked while stroking your back.  “Yes” Your answer was barely loud enough to hear, being muffled by his neck. Still, you hugged him only tighter, afraid of finally losing him. “Y/n, I'm so sorry if I'm not able to be with you tomorrow to celebrate your birthday.” You knew what’s he meant. No, this couldn't be happening! Why were you suddenly to dumb to accept it?

“Please find a better guy than me. A guy who will make you happy, who will stay loyal to you and only loves you. Find a guy who will stay by your side forever. Don't find another guy who'll make you feel dissapointed.” You wanted to tell him, that he never disappointed you, but he already pulled you into a sweet kiss. His lips felt so soft. Soft but rough. It was like your first kiss with him. It was like your first night with him. But in reality, it was your last kiss with him. Yet you saw it as another moment that had been created in this special time.

“You know... I am never going to stop loving you!” You said and looked at him. His face was so pale, you could see the soft blue shining through it. “Me too, honey. There are 7 billion people on this earth but I fell in love with you. We have been a long journey together. Everyone can fall in love but not everyone has a happy ending with it. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my promise, Y/n!” I know, Renjun.

The worst part for you was that it all happened so fast. But somehow you still hoped this was only a dream. That you would wake up to a healthy Renjun wishing you a happy birthday. Finally the clock was showing 12 AM. It was your birthday. Sounding just as sleepy as you felt he whispered a soft “Happy birthday, Y/n!” He stroked your hair while looking at you with loving eyes, a smile on his lips for the last time, before you both fall asleep under your shared blanket.

Not knowing, that they were his last words.

Day 8

You woke up from a deep slumber and moved your blanket. You saw that Renjun was still ‘sleeping’. Softly you shaked him to wake him up, with no sign of success. He didn't response in any way. After a few more times of you trying to wake him up and him still not moving an inch, you tried to recall which date it was today.

No, it can't be.

Yesterday was the last day you would spend with him. One week. Seven days. All moved by faster than you could remember. In your final hope you searched for his heartbeat, but you didn't hear anything. You couldn't. Now you would need to accept the fact that he was gone. Forever.

You start sobbing. "Renjun, please wake up. Please!" Despite your wobbly arms, you shook his body, screaming so uncontrollably loud that it even hurt your ears. It's my birthday. Today is supposed to be a happy day. This has to be a nightmare. I'll always be by your side. Resonating in your mind you hear a faint voice, but you just ignore it. Renjun was right. Not everyone has a happy ending. And you were certainly one of them.

I'm sorry for breaking our promise

©ɴᴄᴛᴡᴏʀsᴛsᴛᴜғғ@/ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ

[stickyy]

could i get a reader x ururaka where the reader kidnaps her and forcibly 'protects' her by coddling her and keeping her in a soft room with everything she could need and not letting her leave, even if it means restraining, or even injuring her? tysm! i'm really looking forward to seeing your blog grow! (btw if you cant/dont want to write ururaka, midoriya or shinso are also good!) ♡

thank you so much for your kind words!! :D i hope you enjoy, i kind of went for a more somber tone bc i like Angst, so this was moody and fun to write!

warnings: yandere!gn!reader, kidnapping, very mildly graphic mutilation (hands and ankle), drugging mention, very vague vomit mention, angst, best friends to lovers (gone wrong) /s

word count: 1.5 k

note: the scene describing mutilation is sandwiched by two dashes (-), incase u dont want to read it :D

AFTERMATH

The pattering of rain against the kitchen window is loud, accompanied by the sizzle of food on the stove and the distant chatter of news anchors coming from your TV in a domestic cacophony of sounds. It’s a Saturday morning, and it would be a pretty relaxed one if not for the deep pit of dread in your stomach. You had a rough night, to say the least. Trying to keep yourself present, you rub the dark bags under your eyes as you tend your routine of making breakfast every morning. Maybe a meal between the two of you will fix things. You hope so, at least. You tune into the television in an attempt to distract yourself.

“... are still in search for missing Hero, Urav-”

You’re suddenly uninterested, shutting the cable off with haste. Breakfast is as good as finished, anyways. 

The house is quiet, save for the rain, and the silence settles as a sickly chill under your skin. Taking your time to ensure your footsteps are quiet, you head towards the door at the end of the hallway. The normally innocuous door frame looms over you and you want to shrink away, go back to a time where things were okay. You place the tray on the small table outside of the room, fishing for the keys in your pocket. There are 3 locks; two require keys, while the other is an opposite facing deadbolt. You make quick work of opening them, daily practice rendering you nimble. With the door open and the keys back in your pocket, you grab the tray and push the door in with your hip, your stomach dropping and your heart fluttering simultaneously at the sight of Uraraka, still sleeping peacefully.

You place the tray on her bedside table gingerly, opening the curtains to her window afterwards. The dim, muddy light wakes her, her form stretching under the plush covers.

“Good morning!” you chirp, over enthusiastic as you sit on the edge of her bed. Her hair is messy, skin splotchy from laying in one place all night (you give her sleeping pills at night, and they tend to keep her in one place). She rubs sleep from her eyes cutely, sighing before speaking to you.

She hums in response. Even when she’s angry, she’s always so polite, sweet enough to offer you any response after what you did to her. Her gentle voice, no matter if she’s laughing or talking or screaming or crying, is music to you. The noise does more to set you at ease than you’d like to admit, her voice like stitches to your wounded heart. You can’t help but smile, warmth spreading over your skin. You love her so much, it’s why you do what you must to keep her safe.

“Did you sleep well?” you ask, as you do everyday, setting up her breakfast in front of her. She’s silent. You expect as much, yet it still stings, and you spare a glance at her to see an expression you can’t quite read and don’t quite like. That’s all it takes for the pit to return, guilt and remorse stirring through your veins. You can only muster offer a soft noise in response, sitting back with your own plate of food. You start first, choosing to focus on the flavor of the food, the softness of the duvet, the rain- anything but the silence. 

But it’s so difficult; you want nothing more than to be able to ignore her, to not feel so attached and needy and sorry. She burns so brightly, even when she’s upset, and you’re a moth to the flame, unable to look away for long. You don’t even realize that you’ve scarfed down half of your food, but it’s glaringly apparent when you look to Uraraka’s food to see it untouched, cooling rapidly. You glance at her face yet again, and her forlorn expression prompts you to break the thick silence.

“Does it still hurt?”

She flinches but doesn’t respond, hugging her arms to her chest and turning away from you. The rain is deafening against the window, and you notice you’re not hungry anymore.

“I told you I was sorry,” you say softly, eyes unconsciously darting to the bandages on her hands, trailing down to her legs, obscured by the covers. She continues to ignore you. You can’t take it, you need to hear her say something, anything.

 “You know I hate hurting you. I hate it, but you tried to run again. Why? We’ve been doing so good, I thought you were happy! I thought you finally understood! You have everything you need here, and even if you don’t, I can get it for you. I’m not even mad, not anymore, so please just-”

“Just let me leave,” her voice is hoarse, and you can see stray tears trailing down her flushed cheeks, pained eyes trained on your face. You swallow, using all of your willpower to turn away from her gaze. You stand suddenly, taking a deep breath before heading into the bathroom, grabbing the first aid materials you left in there. You make the executive decision that it would be better if that conversation never happened, so you pretend as such when you return to the room, replacing your somber expression with a warm smile.

“Let’s get this cleaned up,” you peel back the covers and take a look at her ankle. 

-

Her shin is twisted slightly straightened yet still awkward in angle, absurdly swollen, skin littered with large splotches of wine purple, faded blue, and putrid yellow bruises. It looks like it hurts, and you feel yourself deflate, guilt chewing at your insides yet again. You’d never meant to do this to her, but you had no choice. Last night, while you were cooking dinner, you figured you’d let Uraraka keep you company as you chopped vegetables, seeing as she had been extraordinarily compliant recently. That was a mistake, as you had to act quickly when you heard the screech of the chair pushed back suddenly and the loud stomp of feet against hardwoods. You caught her before she could reach the front door, threw her to the floor, and in your irrational fit of panic you stomped hard, once, twice, three times, over and over until the sickening, dull crunch of bone snapped you out of your frenzy. In all of your time with Uraraka, both pre and post living together, you’d never seen her cry quite like this. Her loud, pained, fearful sobs made your stomach turn, and no matter how hard you tried to console her, she wouldn’t stop, thrashing to get your arms off of her. She couldn’t move far, and so you had to wait and watch her writhe in agony until she tired herself out, chest heaving, face covered in tears and snot and drool. You helped her to her room and quickly wrapped the wound, leaving her alone for the rest of the night. You were unable to sleep, hunched over the toilet for the majority of the early hours due to waves of nausea, crying spells ebbing and flowing.

(The bandages on her hands are different. Ridding her of her quirk was the only way to ensure she’d stay put. You’d had a few drinks, taken the largest kitchen knife you owned, and did what you had to. The wounds were cauterized and healed, but you kept the bandages on so she wouldn’t have to look at the scar tissue where the last ligament of her pinky fingers were missing.)

You clean her ankle, gently caressing the distorted flesh with rubbing alcohol. She returned to her reticence, save for small (cute) pained noises when you pass over a particularly tender spot. You take solace in the moment, cherishing the chance to take care of her. 

(When you rewrap the wound, you’re deliberate in doing it incorrectly. It will heal, but it will heal wrong, and then she’ll have to rely on you to get anywhere. The idea is tantalizing, and you suppress a shiver.)

-

“There, all done,” you grin up at her, surprised to find her looking back, expression exhausted but aware, awake. You pack the materials up quickly, climbing back onto the bed. You take note of her breakfast, undoubtedly cold now.

“I can heat that up for you.”

“‘M not hungry.”

That’s that, then. You decide not to push, instead opening your arms in a gesture of peace, knowing how much she loves (tolerates) your cuddles. She gives you a scrutinizing look, before nodding once, the only invitation you get. You move the tray to her bedside table, quickly scooting next to her and wrapping your arms around her gently. She doesn’t quite reciprocate, settling for just leaning against you, but you’ll take anything you can get. Your nerves are set alight, and you vow to yourself that you’ll never hurt her again. You know you did the right thing, keeping her fed and pampered and safe. You’d make up for it, devote yourself to seeing her smile again, even if only once.

“You’re not mad at me, right?” you can’t help but ask, always seeking her approval. 

She’s silent. The rain doesn’t stop. 

[transsexualhamlet]

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

[lilgirlvixen]

i dont mean to be tmi here so

last night i got blacked out drunk. me & my husband were having a lot of  fun, until i asked him to rp with me.... i dont remember what i asked him. but in the morning he was troubled. i repulsed by what i might have said, he won’t tell me because hes afraid of  hurting me. he did tell me i seemed to remember something, a hidden, burried thing that made me cry and cry. i’m afraid of what horrible memory is lurking inside. this isnt the first time this has happened.... it has to do with my father... he came over at crhstimas and was acting creepy towards me.... i have had jarring images of things tht make me scared and uncomfortable. but not enough for a full memory. i’m afraid theyre fake. i can’t tell anything what i’m feeling.... what i think i’m remembering. i was such a shy, obedient kid.... these feelings are rooted deep in me to the point its making me sick. something has happened. its locked within me. it explains all the weird things i find sexually attractive, like the daddy lil girl thing, which is what i think i asked him last night. he just wanted to protect and please me. i’m the one who’s wrong...... i crave safety from a man. i’m looking for someone to replace my father. i look to my husband to replace the father i never had. i feel a fool to admit it and a fool to share it here. i just made this blog because i’m so into feederism but i struggle with my weight and eating disorder. i hate struggling to buy clothes now. i never feel pretty anymore. a dozen people on the street can tell me how pretty and classy i look and when i come home i see an ugly, empty girl..... and that’s so sad. i’m a girl. not really, but i am so damaged beyond my own understanding that i feel like a little girl trapped inside an adult woman’s body. i told that to my husband last night. he told me in the morning i need to call a therapist and deal with all of this. i know there is something seriously wrong. i sleep all the time, i’ve been neglecting my college work...... i’ve barely been putting effort into cleaning up things at home. i’m in a fog. i’m miserable. why am i even writing this here? i need someone to tell. i can’t live this way anymore. i drink so much to numb the agony of some unknown pain within, but i end up lashing out at the people around me. god, this is suffering. i will not be here anymore. feederism is not for me, not know, not at the weight i’m at. shopping for clothes has been hell, because my body is pear shaped and difficult to find just plain, regular articles of clothing to fit. i can’t be here. i can’t trigger myself into binging just to gain another three or four pounds. i have to stop. i have to get better somehow.... there is a horrible wound inside of me and i have to learn how to deal with it. 

[moonlit-imagines]

Don’t You Dare

Loki Laufeyson x nibling!reader

warnings: death mention, my iconic infliction of pain on my lovely readers

a/n: no hate on loki i just saw a tiktok that made me go “oh dam thats kinda wicked” dont let this flop its 4:19am

prompt: this tiktok - in an AU where asgard never fell, instead thor gave his life to defeat his sister, and y/n took the throne so that loki couldn’t endanger their kingdom anymore. loki felt a sense of guilt after his father and brother perished, y/n found someone to blame

You’ll admit that these past few weeks...they didn’t go as planned. Your father just wanted to protect Asgard, but that cost him his life. Now you were left to the throne, completely unguided and utterly alone. Not even the Warriors Three were here to help. Too many had perished, maybe your family was cursed.

The only relative that remained was Loki, your uncle. Loki, the reason that you were orphaned and forced to rule over a kingdom that needed tending to since he didn’t feel like doing it himself. The audacity that he had to remain on Asgard was astounding, but he had been avoiding you at all costs while you began to rehabilitate the country.

“What shall we do about the wreckage?” An advisor had questioned, as if you didn’t have a million other things to be worried about. Of course it was a priority, but there was so much to discuss that any question was just a bit irritating.

“Rally up volunteers to clean the debris, some of it may be salvageable.” You walked along the palace halls with an entourage of concerned beings, they had so many important questions that you needed to answer, but you hadn’t even properly memorialized your father yet. He was all you could think about. “Make sure that all of out citizens have shelter while their homes are being rebuilt. We can spare some rooms here in the palace.” You came to a halt and pinched the bridge of your nose. “Will that be all for now?”

“Yes, your highness.” They answered and scattered away to tend to their business. This kingdom was already in ruins before Hela arrived. Thank you, Uncle.

These past few years...past few weeks had been quite difficult, would there every be a return to normalcy? Doubtful. But you had to be strong for your people, that was what they needed. A ruler that had the people’s best interest in mind. One who bore all of the hardships so that they could live happily.

You paced further down the halls to check for damages and anything out of the ordinary. You were a bit paranoid that there could be another attack, but it seemed like the trouble may have been over. Never hurts to double check. As you made your rounds, you passed your father’s former room, which was filled with memories that you would hold onto for lifetimes.

“I failed you, father. And for that, I’m sorry.” You tried to tell him, but he was long gone. You lingered on for a moment more and decided it was time to continue your surveyal. It was depressing walking these halls, every memory included someone who was no longer with you. Why must you continue to ponder the past? Why was that?

“Your majesty,” you heard a woman call from behind you, turning to find the last known Valkyrie approaching, “you have a visitor.”

“Do I?” You asked, not thinking twice about it. There was so much on your mind, you were foolish to forget the likes of Uncle Loki.

“I’ll leave you to it.” She called upon Loki to enter your presence and quickly vacated, not wanting to deal with any more drama of the throne. You stood silently and waited for him to state his business.

“Y/N...” He started, not knowing where to go after that part. “Please don’t hate me.” Your uncle begged, which only made your blood curdle. This was no time for a need of approval, this was just inappropriate.

“Uncle, you’re a disgrace.” You growled, which may have been a bit harsh, but you chose your words without a second thought. “I have other matters to tend to.”

“Please, y/n, don’t do this.” He went on. “We are all the other has left, I cannot take that for granted.” Loki insisted on following you about the palace, nearly in tears. You’d seen this act before, though, when he used it on your father time and time again. “Let me help you, y/n! The throne is a burden, you don’t have to do it alone!”

“That’s enough!” You snapped at your uncle, silencing him immediately. “You created this mess and I’m cleaning it up my way. I do not need your help like the others did. I know better than to depend on the likes of the God of Mischief!” Your words were like daggers to Loki, who believed everything that you’d just said. He stuttered a bit, trying to carefully make out another sentence.

“I-I’m...I’m trying, y/n.” Loki balled his fists, trying to truly keep it together for his nibling who was in true pain, pain that he actually blamed himself for. “I take no joy in my actions. They were reckless and immature.” He admitted, wincing at the responsibility he had to take. You could take after your father and forgive him, maybe give him another chance...or you could teach him a lesson once and for all.

“Uncle Loki,” you sighed, “I am not my father. Nor am I Odin or Freya. I am y/n and I do not take responsibility for you.” Loki’s lips parted slightly as his jaw dropped in disappointment. “You may be my uncle, but you are no longer apart of the royal family of Asgard. I cannot take any more risks on behalf of my people.”

“What?!” Loki gasped, hurt by this malfeasance. “You cannot do this, y/n! I’m the rightful ruler of Asgard!” He argued along the palace halls.

“That’s all you’ve ever cared about, Loki! You only crave power, but you refuse to acknowledge the responsibility that power comes with!” You were brutally honest, only causing more damage to Loki’s bruised ego. You hadn’t even noticed the tears that streamed down your face, showing your uncle your true feelings alongside your little speech. “Look out there, Loki! That was all you!” You pointed out the threshold of the palace to view the severely damaged kingdom he so badly wanted to rule. “Odin was an awful father, but he was the ruler that Asgard needed and you...” You shuddered out of pure rage. “You’re selfish! And it has been your downfall!”

“How dare you talk like that to me!” Loki shouted back, further solidifying your negative emotions, he would be regretting this shortly. “You’re out of your mind, little one. You can’t rule this kingdom alone, you’ll ruin it far worse than I ever could.” By this time, tears had stopped falling and you were left in a stone cold rage. You no longer needed to hear these insults.

“Enough!” You screamed in his face, succeeding in shutting him up. “Loki Odinson, you are hereby banished from the Kingdom of Asgard!” You declared, shocking your uncle greatly as he took a step back, trying to decipher if you were serious or not, but you weren’t a fan on mischief or trickery. “Leave at once, I will not ask a second time.”

“You must be joking, my nibling.” He tried to laugh it off, but you weren’t a bit amused.

“Don’t count on it, Uncle. Now go.” You stared him dead in the eyes and saw the heartbreak im his face. He finally accepted your instructions and nodded in defeat, leaving at once. He trudged in the opposite direction and you carefully watched as he left, but he took a slight pause before officially exiting.

“Y/N, little one, do know that I love you...and I loved your father, as well.” He confessed, then left you to yourself. Your lip trembled as you fought back the feeling of sorrow that flooded over you, the last of your family had departed, now you were officially alone. The struggle to contain your sobs finally ceased once your emotions got the best of you, so you collapsed onto the floor, sobbing as the weight of your world took over. The throne of Asgard guaranteed disappointment and agony, even as early as now.

This would only be the beginning on your path as a ruler. Something tells me that there is much more to come.

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

[lotusjwy]

okay so i dont know if u actually ship jc with anyone but the "I’m sick of being useless" is giving me strong Vibes so either you should choose a jc pairing or maybe do it for yunmeng bros? :D

anon, anonny, my friend. i ship almost every jiang cheng ship, so pls feel free to specify one next time if you want! but! i’ll still do this from yunmeng bro perspective, bc i haven’t written them in a hot minute. idk if i’d rly classify this as angst, at least in comparison to the last one i wrote, but i did my best! fun fact though, this is actually my second revision of it, the first one jiang cheng was being far too nice and i was like excuse me, who are you? 

The night hunt that had already started off on a wrong note, had only grown progressively worse as it went on. Wei Wuxian had turned up unexpectedly on Jiang Cheng’s doorstep, begging him to accompany him, Lan Jingyi and Jin Ling on a night hunt nearby. Jiang Cheng had agreed to go along, only because he hadn’t seen either his nephew or brother in quite some time, as other responsibilities had been getting the better of them all. However, very early into the night hunt, it was apparent that they were vastly unprepared for the fight, and had gotten overpowered quickly, their injuries growing worse with each blow. To make matters worse, none of them had signal flares on them, Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi having forgotten theirs yet again. Jiang Cheng was going to start strapping them onto the boys himself. 

Towards the climax of the fight, they all watched in horror as Jin Ling dropped to the ground, a deep gash on his chest blood gushing from the wound. Jiang Cheng quickly shot forward finishing off the last of the beasts, a final burst of energy rushing through him in his need to protect his nephew. 

After the fact, he lowered his sword, and turned back towards Jin Ling. He saw Wei Wuxian had Jin Ling cradled in his lap, as he pressed his outer robes onto Jin Ling’s wounds hoping to stop the bleeding, with Lan Jingyi kneeling beside the duo, transferring qi to his injured friend.

Jiang Cheng surveyed the situation that they were in, trying not to let his panic set in, knowing he had to take control, neither Lan Jingyi or Wei Wuxian being in positions to figure out what to do. They were all too injured to safely transfer Jin Ling back to Lotus Pier, and Wei Wuxian’s golden core wasn’t strong enough to last riding a sword whilst also helping to carry an injured man. “Lan Jingyi, go to Lotus Pier and request help immediately. Do not take no for an answer. Bring them here or tell them where we are, if you feel too weak to make the trip back. Go now, go quickly. And fucking stay safe, you idiot.”

After Jingyi had frantically left, Jiang Cheng dropped down next to the remaining two, grabbing his nephew’s wrist to continue transferring qi to him. “Come on, A-Ling, you dumbass, wake the fuck up. Please wake the fuck up.”

“I’m sorry.” If Jiang Cheng hadn’t been sitting right next to Wei Wuxian, he may not have heard him, for how faintly he spoke.

“What the fuck, Wei Wuxian? What kind of fucking game do you think this is?!” Jiang Cheng felt anger coursing through his veins, though he wasn’t sure if he was really mad at his brother or just at the situation at hand. “If I wasn’t trying to keep our fucking nephew alive, I’d strangle you where you sit. For fucks sake, what the fuck happened?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t meant to be so strong. There wasn’t meant to be so many of them.” Wei Wuxian’s voice continued to be soft, breaking any time he spoke above a whisper. His eyes never left Jin Ling’s face, not wanting to see the hatred he knew his brother’s face would be showing.

“Of all the fucking times for Lan Wangji to not be glued to your side. Where the fuck is he, then? I can’t believe he would leave you alone with two cultivators who are just barely adults, on a night hunt.” He continued to mutter expletives about Lan Wangji under his breath, cursing the man.

“I… It’s my fault. He wanted to come with us, but Zewu-jun needed Lan Zhan for something, so I told him that we’d be fine. That I’d come ask you for help.” He risked a glance at Jiang Cheng, only to realise that the other wasn’t even looking at him anymore, instead he was also looking at Jin Ling.

“You didn’t think that this night hunt required more than one qualified cultivator? You thought I could make up for the downfalls of both Lan Jingyi, A-Ling and you?” Jiang Cheng scoffed in disbelief, “I’m aware that this used to be your golden core, but there’s only so much I can do, Wei Wuxian.”

“I know, I’m sorry! I didn’t think. I- I thought I could handle it!” He exclaimed, desperation seeping into his voice.

“You thought you could handle it. When have you ever been able to just handle something? When has anything ever not blown up in your face?” Jiang Cheng couldn’t even count the amount of times Wei Wuxian had gotten them into countless situations where they should have died, yet had somehow lived to tell the tale.

“I get it! I fucked up! I always fucking fuck up!” His voice was growing more frustrated with each word he said, growing angry at himself, at the situation, at Jiang Cheng for making him feel worse than he was already feeling.

“Then why don’t you ever fucking think? Just once, I am begging you to think just once in your fucking life. When the lives of A-Ling and Lan Jingyi are also at stake, rather than just mine or yours! Do you understand that your decisions could have gotten them killed?” Jiang Cheng didn’t think he’d been this angry at Wei Wuxian since he defected with the Wen remnants to the Burial Mounds.

Finally, Wei Wuxian had had enough, almost jumping up before seeming to remember that he had Jin Ling laying across his lap. Instead, he let out a scream of frustration; one that startled even Jiang Cheng from his focus on Jin Ling, who hadn’t been expecting such a noise to come from his brother.  

“I’m sick of being useless, Jiang Cheng. I’ve become useless.” His voice full of the agony he was feeling, deep inside. This was his biggest insecurity since he had been brought back. That he’d never grow to the same level of cultivation, as he had before. “I’m sick of you or Lan Zhan, or any of the younger disciples having to protect me when we get rushed like this! I’m sick of being the liability of any night hunt because I’m not as strong as I used to be!”

“So, what? You didn’t let Lan Wangji come as a test to yourself?” There was disbelief in his words, as if he couldn’t fathom even Wei Wuxian being this idiotic.

“I- Fine. Yes. I really did think we could handle it, Jiang Cheng. I didn’t think it would be as bad as it was, I promise. I’d never risk shi-jie’s son, nor Jingyi, or A-Yuan or anyone.” Letting out a frustrated huff of breath, Wei Wuxian’s head hung low, not wanting to face the other in his moment of shame. “I just- All I wanted was to prove that this stupid fucking core could do something.”

Jiang Cheng shook his head, choosing to not respond to the other, wanting to focus his energies on his nephew, ensuring that the other was getting the qi he needed to heal. He didn’t spend all these years helping to raise Jin Ling, just for the boy to get taken down in front of him. There was also nothing he could say to Wei Wuxian while he was in this state, without making the situation worse for both of them.

Instead, the two sat in silence, waiting for their rescue to arrive. Thankfully, it seemed that Jingyi’s strength as a cultivator wasn’t an exaggeration, the boy making it back to them in record time, with Jiang Cheng’s second in command and first disciple following quickly behind him. Once Jiang Cheng ensured that his disciples had his nephew secured and would safely bring him to Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng turned to Wei Wuxian, who throughout the flurry of bodies being moved around had stayed kneeling on the ground.

“For fucks sake, if you had a problem in the past, you never used to fucking mope around. You used to pick yourself the fuck up and figure out a solution.” He reached out a hand to Wei Wuxian, pulling him up. “Strengthen your core, dumbass. I know Mo Xuanyu wasn’t strong, but he did have a golden core. Use it, strengthen it. Maybe you won’t ever be as strong as you used to be, but you can still fucking get stronger than you currently are.”

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu characters as things said in the hhcu

a/n: this is pure humor and just something fun, the hhcu is wild and says stupid shit more than once a day so i complied a ridiculously long list of quotes and put them together in this list to share with yall so please enjoy, read more because again this is so long also pt 2. some of these r pretty nsfw so uh yeah <3

Oikawa: When he gives up his torso 😍 

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Nishinoya: Fisherman daddy

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Bokuto: I trust no condiments

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Osamu: YELLOW BAD OIKAWA IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY KITCHEN

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Tendou: Give ass in shiratorizawa?

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Atsumu: Garlic air freshener

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Nishinoya talking about his sex life: ITS THE GOOD OL FASHIONED POW POW GRUNT GRUNT WINDOW WASHER ULTIMATE FRISBEE DICK CONNECTOR 

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Hinata: thank you!! also my oven melted??? and caught on fire 😰 

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Yaku probably thinking abt kuroo while saying this: not gonna front im terrified of the live action grinch and if i ever see him its on sight

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Kageyama: Except that one mustard faze I had

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Lev after yaku kicks him yet again: NO INCH ACTIVE INCH VERY ACTIVE

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Suga after Kiyoko holds his hands: premarital eye contact is already a sin

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Iwaizumi realizing Oikawa probably wouldn’t know the difference between hawaiian rolls and milk bread: when he says hit it till it breaks, he means the packaging of hawaiin rolls

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All of Seijoh to Oikawa: You know whats really sexy? Self care.

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Hoshihumi: like a three year old. still baby but also evil at times🤡 

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Oikawa right before his death: "MORNING HAJI!~" slaps tiddie

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 Anyone falling on love with haikyuu boys: hey a good reverse harem never hurt anyone

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Idk who says it but terushima would do this: places his hand to my heart but then hes like heh heh boob squishy

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Tendou: centrepical force saved my bag of chocolate!!

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Lev thinking it was a literary masterpiece: *reads about a fourth of the bee movie*

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Hinata making fun of Kageyama: milk is better than the feeling of the ball touching your fingertips during a perfect set

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Hinata and Kageyama failing tests: thats just the dumbass in me babey!!!

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Atsumu simply trying to annoy Osamu: Are y’all meaning to tell me you DON’T take your raw chicken on walks through the city?

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Yahaba: PUSSY ALWAYS LEAVES

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Mattsun just to annoy everyone: yall ever think about how in the 50s and 60s they just put raw hotdogs or shrimp into jello and ate that shit and enjoyed it???

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Suga: i am now crying and my boyfriend is concerned and i can’t tell him that I’ve lost my husband and children

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Kenma; Smh my head

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Bokuto: Sorry not all of us can have double decker extra stuffed bottoms up extra large super sized t n a like me🥰🥰💅💅

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Everyone to bokuto: titty enthusiast ✨✨

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Me to kuroo: sorry babe youre a scorpio you dont have any rights anymore

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Tendou: i accidentally lit a  baby on fire

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Atsumu: This feels real human centipede

Bokuto: theyre not ass to mouth

Atsumu: Close enough

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Bokuto when a minor inconvience happens: Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every day, I wake up....

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Sakusa: Remove your lips from my penis

Atsumu: I use a gluestick as chapstick i cant

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Goshiki: Arson or boot in my book, set fire to something live a little

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Tsukishima: I don’t like recieving pain. It hurts

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Kenma annoyed w kuroo: Put your dick in the fucking catfish’s pussy then

Kuroo being annoying: How deep is catfish pussy

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Makki to Mattsun: Ayo babe what if we fucked on the catfish tank

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Kiyoko tiredly, to Tanaka: I’m not putting salt and pepper on my pussy lips

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Saeko: I’ve got that Deep dish, super soaker, wet, succulent dripping honey suckle like sweet marinated mooseknuckle, extra thick, slip n slide, water park, waterbender, extra ribbed, the seven seas, gorilla grip, flex tape, primordial soup Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion pussy

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Atsumu not really knowing what cooch means: I got the body builder cooch

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Oikawa after not sleeping to train, extremely sleep deprived: youre got unending

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Goshiki; Commit arson

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Akaashi: I leave for 10 minutes and Bokuto is 240v (mouth edition) fuckmaster pro 4000 with semen drip collection tray, automated self-lubricating 6 speed pulsating pussy and built in Polycrystalline floatable silicon

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Oikawa; I’m coming to murk your ass xoxo

Iwa: I will literally shiv you bitch

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Kindaichi: ✨ bob duncan exterminates you asmr✨

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Makki: I’ll try to find my favorite about Jacob sartorius vampire babies with Hillary Clinton

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Kenma after playing some obscure video game: also i can’t sleep😔 too busy thinking about human sized bats

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ME fuck yall im carpetting my bathroom: you already put rugs in the bathroom might as well carpet that bitch

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Kuroo talking abt something sciency idk: LIKE A BODY WIG

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Seijoh when iwa throws balls at oikawa: spousal abuse right in front of my salad

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Hinata making up some new stupid song: Ants on a log ants on a log

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Atsumu to piss off Osamu once more: world f amous allegra chicken

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Semi: Gay little Ushijima’s left hand

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Bokuto: Are you disagreeing with the fact that I am thicc as phuck

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Kiyoko: Guys is it uh... is it possible to sprain a titty cause.... Uh....

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Terushima: He laughed at the end of his own joke what a fuckin chad

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Bokuto: IS THAT THE DOG FROM ZOOTOOIA

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Kageyama: milk is kinda like organ paint huh

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Nishinoya: i don’t think socks taste good

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Tendou: out of your mummy, into my tummy

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Hinata; shout out to me who thought chickens had four legs until last summer

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Oikawa Hanger: I WANNA HANG MY CLOTHES ON HIM 

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Kenma: What a little pissbaby

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Yamaguchi: i am literally so curious about what it's like to kiss a boy that it's almost killing me

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Daichi about Suga: he may be cute, but istg there’s some kind of raging devil trapped in him

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Saeko: fuck society my titties are out

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Hinata after getting lecture by everyone for sneaking into the training camp: GOOD NEWS MY DAD IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN THE OVEN

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Just me thinking abt any first years: children. toddlers. Tikes.

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Me waiting for the fever: When is malaria?

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Uhhhhh probably tendou his vibes: Ill electrocute his cock

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Akaashi just go w it probably about bokuto: Why is he shoving cheese up the pussy

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Osamu tiredly: Ooey gooey cheesy chicken vagaina

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Nishinoya trying to catch a very large fish: Dom the Crab

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Bonus crabagraph: The crabs death reverberated and struck fear into the hearts of all crabs in existence because of this one 60+ year old mans volatile universe-crunching swing. Dude defied the laws of gravity by simply getting pinched by the crab. Man just reinvented the laws of physics and all of science due to the sheer force of will and untapped wellsprings if potential unleashed by the crab. If aliens show up it’s because the supersonic radio waves released by the banging of the crab against the cabinet are the first ever created in the universe. Man could cause a ripple in space-time with his crab launching abilities. Guy probably opened a gateway into another universe when he launched the crab. You see how the cabinet door opened and stayed open? It’s because this elder tore a hole through the fabric of reality to the Other Side simply because he experienced a minor bit of pain. The way he released a defeated roar of agony. The ancient gods awoke from their deep slumber and this old man single-handedly revived all his ancestors. New wars are about to start because of the way this man broke the barriers containing this reality into one fixed area. This universe is now expanding at such a rapid rate the the geosphere will now be reshaped. This man probably unknowingly blasted a hole in the other side of the planet because the shockwaves of the aggressive rippling effect of this poor crustacean slamming at lightning speed into a small wooden frame. The crabs insides were probably fused into the shell because this man’s angry, rage filled, pain filled battering ram of an arm throwing him through every known dimension and re-arriving in this one at the mere moment to experience the most pain a crab ever has or will in the rest of the existence of crabs. This elderly man probably has phased through and broken every human limiter known to man just because he got a minor pinch by a crab. He probably is bio-medically fused with crab DNA at this point. A legend.

[studiahumanitatis98]

I have summer blues. I hate summer. I hate the loneliness that it trows to my face. I hate waiting. Waiting for a better day yet to come, for the start of an academic year i'm not exited for. I hate being me when i sweat for no reason. I hate breathing hot air. I hate pretanding that i enjoy my free time with my family. I hate long endless holidays..

I hate to be expected to serve everyone arround just because i have ''some free time''. I have a LOT of things to catch up on myself. i hate the extreme sunlight. I hate not having a blanket arround nor candle light. I hate late night discussions. I hate movie nights. I hate feeling alone arround people i was supposed to love.

I have summer blues. And i spend these days sleeping. I feel weaker. I feel anbondoned. I feel rejected by nature itself. I carry arround the weight of the universe when summer is arround. I hate this season. I hate seeing kids every where. I hate when people dont learn anything anymore because it's the ''Holydays''. I hate everything about hot beach cocktails season.

I want to live in colder weathers. I want to hear gentle rain on my window. I want to light a candle and read Dracula. I want to watch 30s movies without being mocked. I want to attend an opera play in the most beautiful dress i own. I want to play piano, violen or cello. I want learn ancient greek and pass notes in class with it.

All i want is to live fully, not in the verge of life. Not as an illusion. I want to be surrounded with people who respect my boundries. People who will understand my need of having some time alone. Not people who pet me, mock me, trow sarcastic comments on me and judge me as dramatic.

I'm not asking to be loved. I'm asking to be respected for who i am, not as a young women, but as an idividual, capable of thinking, of writing, of creating the most beautiful and weird peaces.

Summer. Summer. All your joys are torture to me. All the love you get is hate in me. All the energy is drained on me. I'm sorry to betray the world, but i don't love you, i dont respect you, i dont want you.

Please run away from me. Leave me to my ethernal agony.. Leave me my dear alone to my incapacity to speak. Leave me like death separates lovers, like the sea makes the sparkle vanish. Please, i beg you to go away. My dear.. i dont like you, i never did. I lied before, but i cant bear it no more.