#please don't take this post seriously this was just a random funny thought

[steelthroat]

Okay hear me out for this one...

40 years of franchise

Optimus Prime has had Elita(g1, tfa, and tfe), no? But also that weird tension with Shockwave(g1 idw), Dion (g1), and of course his obsession with Megatron(everything), right?

Okay, so you know... pretty bi to me :D

But then you have Megatron. So with Megatron, you see Kiloton, Ultra Magnus (idw and Netflix trilogy) Rodimus (idw) Starscream(choose your media) and of course his obsession with Optimus Prime, right?

No women, I see no tension with any female-presenting robot in the franchise, right? I remember him being close with elita in the Netflix trilogy before the war broke out, but I don't remember it being a love triangle kind of thing.

And he once said Nightbird was "hot enough to replaced you (Starscream)" when said mech said "she's not so hot" (g1 cartoon)

Other than that nothing.

We have both make and female characters lusting over him, tho. However, he hasn't reciprocated their avances (unicron trilogy)

SO... what I'm trying to say is that nothing in 40 years of franchise negates the possibility of Megatron being gay since Megatron has never hinted any interest towards women or female-presenting robots.

[pomefioredove]

So idk if I'm requesting in the right place. But I would love a twst scenario with a yuu that just says all their intrusive thoughts. Like just out of NOWHERE, as they reach for a water bottle hanging out with the first years they go.

“I robbed a house back home”

Or when Azul tries cornering them with the twins for something they just blankly turn to Floyd going.

“duck off you look like you can't steer a shopping cart”

But feel free to do it with whoever you want and if you don't want to do mine that's perfectly fine and I hope you have a great day :)

certainly!!

summary: reader who speaks all their impulsive thoughts type of post: headcanons characters: heartslabyul, octavinelle, scarabia, diasomnia additional info: platonic or romantic, reader isn't specified to be yuu, reader is gender neutral author's note: for some reason I had the hardest time thinking up new nonsense, so many of these dialogue lines are from lewis carroll poems, which I have a wonderful nostalgia for. check those out as well!

Ace and Deuce are pretty much used to you saying whatever's at the top of your mind... with no filter

so used to it that it barely even registers with them anymore

whenever it's quiet, they can expect you to come out with some incomprehensible nonsense.

if you didn't, they'd probably ask what's wrong

"I robbed a house back home,"

"Yeah, okay,"

Riddle, on the other hand, gets frustrated alarmingly fast

despite running an entire dorm based on nonsensical rules, he has a low tolerance for outside nonsense

and... well, despite his name, he's not really a fan of riddles

Trey matches your energy immediately

no joke. he doesn't even bat an eye

"I eat plastic,"

"hm. sometimes I eat muffin wrappers,"

honestly, sometimes his tangents get even weirder than yours

Cater probably wasn't listening very closely when you first started going off, or maybe he's just become accustomed to riddles, though the next time you say something he just thinks it's cute

might use your "thoughtful anecdotes" as a caption for his next post

would it be surprising if I were to say Azul is used to randomness?

Floyd has a tendency to say the strangest things out of nowhere, after all, and the sea itself can be a surprising place

he does not, however, appreciate how you keep speaking in tongues when he's trying to have serious business conversations with you

(seriously, how hard can it be to swindle one person?!)

"Please, just talk normally,"

"But the mome raths outgrabe!"

he doesn't know what that means, but it sounds like an insult

...and then will refuse to converse with you again until you're in a "better mood" (in his own words)

Jade, on the other hand, finds you quite fascinating

he keeps a little notepad on him just to jot down the things you say. why? you can't imagine. he just finds it interesting, you suppose

"'Twas brilling..."

"Really? How interesting. Go on,"

Floyd isn't really paying much attention

your funny words amuse him at best and annoy him at worse

if you ever find yourself in a bad place with the octotrio, you can just say something like:

"You look like you can't steer a shopping cart,"

and Floyd will take actual offense to that, and just straight up leave

(much to Azul's dismay)

Kalim adds on right away

and keeps going

and keeps going... and keeps going...

"How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail..."

"Oh, I know! He pours waters on every shining scale,"

at one point Jamil has to pull you aside and beg you not to encourage him

"No promises!" is your answer

Kalim even buys a parrot to add onto the fun

it becomes a three-person (or two-person-and-a-bird?) act

...even if you're not really doing it on purpose

Jamil is who ends up taking care of the parrot while it squawks your old nonsense thoughts, though

he likes the parrot much better than either of you

Malleus will entertain you based on his own curiosity

none of his other human classmates speak in such odd and puzzling words, so he knows it's a "you" thing

might try to solve them if they sound like riddles

but he mostly just thinks they're cute

"O, oysters, come and walk with us,"

"How interesting... I do wonder where you come up with all this,"

Sebek will listen to you because Malleus does, and Silver has enough nonsense to deal with as it is. will definitely fall asleep while you're talking to him

Lilia responds in like terms

meow at him? he'll meow back

in fact, he'll meow at you every time he sees you until you say something else to capture his curiosity

might go ahead and start speaking to you in tongues before you even say anything

he just thinks you're neat!

[slackerlifewhere]

random thought #2

About Arm (don't take this post seriously)

[Mild SPOILER??? Can this be considered a spoiler? I'll just put this here to be sure. I guess I should also warn you that this post is stupid.]

Another random thought I had today that no one probably cares about but I find it funny anyways so here I go:

Without any context, the name "Arm" is absolutely confusing and hilarious.

Like if Cale is a normal person who has a bad sense of humor (like me) and saw Ron lose an arm, he'll probably be like, "They must really like arms, huh? Get it? Because their name is 'Arm'?" And Ron would proceed to give him different kinds of lemon treats, food, and drink for a month just for revenge.

But putting my bad sense of humor aside, I don't know why they thought of naming a secret organization "Arm" and think it's going to be intimidating. Like I know Cale is also bad at naming things (aside from Raon, that name is beautiful) but wtf White Star? I know you're old but at least give your organization a better name. It's like they just want to use different parts of the body as their name because they don't have creativity.

I guess he does have a point for uniqueness because I doubt anyone made an organization and called it Leg or Foot or Head so he's the first one to do it! Good for him.

It also says a lot about how utterly bored he is with his immortality if he doesn't even care about the bad name (unless he actually likes the name).

When I first read the novel, I couldn't take the name too seriously. I saw it and immediately laughed. And when Cale used it for his "Real Arm" agenda, I almost died because it's so funny without any context because one of Ron's arm is fake.

But remember, the author also has a bad sense of humor for using the name "Bob" several times in the story so I think I can get away with this.

I suck, I know.

I'm sorry. Please ignore this post. This is just me sharing a post nobody should see but I did it anyway. Good day! I hope I didn't ruin your day with this stupid post.

[charon-cries]

we're lucky Lestat de Lioncourt doesn't have tumblr, the drama he'd get into on here would be wild

#is this anything #he'd probably get cancelled instantly #also side note for future reference #i'm making this post before season 3 #so if anything in this is incompatible with amc canon #that's because i'm working off of seasons 1 + 2 and the books #okay ty have a nice day

32 notes

🎧 audiofilled Follow

ANOTHER of my mutuals went missing after buying a backstage pass to a vampire lestat concert. she didn't post pictures, nothing, and she's been radio silent since her last post (which was about how she was about to go backstage...) and i really think we should be taking this more seriously. so.

reasons why i think "lestat de lioncourt" may be running a cult or something:

Keep reading

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

Absolutely ridiculous. I am very open about what I am, you do not need to resort to senseless conspiracy theories to figure out where your little friend went.

🎧 audiofilled Follow

are you incapable of dropping the vampire bit for ONE moment? people are going MISSING and you're still doing your corny roleplay bit?

#discourse #TVL disappearances #callout

362 notes

📚 daniel-molloy

It's day number seventy-three of surviving this God forsaken website solely to keep tabs on Lestat's social media presence, and I'm still trying to decipher the lingo you people use here. What the Hell does, "I'm bald," even mean?

#the vampire lestat

137 notes

🪽 arun-rising

Did anyone else notice Lestat only posts during the night, in whichever timezone he's in while on tour? True commitment to the bit. Or the bite, I suppose.

🩸 carmillized

weren't you posting about how much you despise his music just yesterday???

🪽 arun-rising

I don't know what you're talking about. I never did that.

🩸 carmillized

You are correct. I believe you without question. I do not even know why I said that in the first place. I do not recall you posting about Lestat de Lioncourt before this.

#sorry OP i was out of line #now that i'm thinking about it though #this post is making me wonder if lestat could be a real vampire #i hadn't seriously considered it until this very moment #something came over me... #wonder why

40 notes

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

New song.

Listen, if you dare.

📷 disintegrated-wonder

Lestat, I thought we were over this...?

#louis talks

893 notes

🧷 baby-jenks

Wouldn't it be wild if we all just spontaneously combusted? Haha. Glad that will never happen

#fang gang #vampblr #random thought #it's unlikely

4 notes

👴🏻 marius-official Follow

How does this website work...?

🦇 fang-fan

delete your blog

#rank vibes on this man

1,425 notes

🐾 interview-wolf-the-werewolf Follow

Sponsored with Blaze 🔥

Check out my new book. It's a biography, about me, written by an award-winning journalist, chronicling my life as a werewolf. It's 100% factual and real, a real breath of fresh air in a world filled with fiction attempting to pass itself off as reality.

#iwtw #my posts #my book #me #werewolf #wolf #awoo #please i need to feed my litter of twelve #this book is all i have

5,762 notes

🩸 carmillized

hey all! i know that my mutual, audiofilled, is a little bit divisive in the music fandom rn, but i'm getting a little worried. i haven't heard from him since he made that post speculating about where TVL fans have been disappearing to. please send me an ask or a dm if you've heard from him!

#talk tag #getting a little worried #he's probably okay though

47 notes

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

Just had a lovely dinner. It's nice when your food is in tune with you, yes? Makes the blood sit well in the veins.

🦇 fang-fan

ur so funny

#edit: sorry for posting while audiofilled is missing #i didn't hear about it until just now

1,409 notes

🩸 carmillized

okay i just can't get over how he talks about himself. i don't know if it's just him being "in character" or if this is just how the guy acts irl, but he's so self-aggrandizing that i've been questioning it

no nuance/bald/other, you have to decide on the spot right now what you believe

📚 daniel-molloy

He's lying.

👩‍💻 talamascized-witch

I don't believe him for a second.

#archive #poll #lestat de lioncourt

[devildom-moss]

This is sort of a joke so only do this if you want to but: brothers with an mc who eats moss like kris from deltarune. It's..... weirdly attractive? There's a sheep joke to be made here

Sometimes we need a silly little joke, and that's okay. I hope you like it anon. Is the moss thing related to this blog name or is it just random? Also, I don't know who that is - and I had to look up what deltarune is. Maybe it's an age thing or maybe it's just one of those topics I know nothing about. Either way~

Also, I'll be honest, I set up an excel sheet with all of my requests organized by post type before I did this request. Now I feel more organized. Yay.

The demon brothers react to MC eating moss

(SFW) (silliness)

Word Count: +1,600

Lucifer

No. No. No. No. “Spit that out right now, MC.”

They’re going to give this poor single parent of 6 an aneurysm. Moss could be dangerous for MC. Where did they even get that? Did they at least wash it before shoveling it into their mouth?

What is he going to tell Diavolo if moss gets them sick? “Yeah, sorry about needing you to call a human doctor for MC. I looked away from them for one minute, and they started eating moss.” He has a responsibility to keep MC safe.  

Lucifer is the type to order MC to get a psych eval when he sees them eating moss. He knows it’s weird and potentially dangerous. This kind of unusual behavior should be closely monitored by a professional.

He’ll nearly lose his mind believing that MC had definitely lost theirs.

“What in the Devildom has gotten into you? Have you utterly lost it? MC, I can’t handle these kids on my own anymore. I need you to be sane and relatively normal, please.”

Please don’t do this to him. Lucifer needs stability in his life, and eating moss is not the picture of stability.

He will make MC’s potential problem about him for a bit in true bad single parent fashion.

Mammon

“The hell ya doin’?!”

Mammon will not hesitate to point out how weird he thinks they are. He doesn’t want to hurt MC’s feelings, but he can’t stop himself from giving them a look of confusion and light disgust.

“That can’t possibly taste good, can it? Ya can’t just go ‘round eatin’ any plant ya see.”

Once the initial surprise works through him, he’s just worried about MC eating something weird. What would he do if they got sick? What would he tell Lucifer? He’s their guardian, and he takes that role more seriously than he likes to let on.

Mammon’s the most likely to try to physically remove the moss from MC’s mouth (but Lucifer is a close second). It could be dangerous. He’ll confiscate MC’s moss if they have any left and keep a close eye on them.

His search history from that day will be telling. “is moss dangerous for humans” “is moss dangerous for humans to eat” “types of moss that are safe for humans to eat” “how to tell if my human is sick” “human ate something bad what happens” “why did my human eat moss” “is my human mentally ill” “Devildom human doctors near me” “human-friendly moss” “good dates for humans” “how to charm weird humans” “how to romance weird humans no magic” (He got distracted.)

Leviathan

Levi finds it funny (and he probably actually knows which character you’re referencing, anon). It’s weird, sure, but he figures whatever MC is doing, it’s pretty harmless.

He wonders if that applies to algae. It might make cleaning out his fish tanks a bit easier if MC can and wants to eat it. The thought pops into his head, but Levi decides against it.

It’s strangely comforting that MC has something weird and arguably off-putting about them. Usually, he’s the weird, gross one. (This is where creepy Levi kicks in and he wants to know more about MC’s weird habits. Maybe if it turns out that they’re super weird, he can keep them all to himself. However, Levi lets his creepy thoughts go as quickly as they came.) Levi unlocked new information. Friend points +50. MC’s charm points +30.

“If I kiss you right now, that’s close enough to touching grass, right?” That’s a thing he’s supposed to do, isn’t he? Shit. He didn’t mean to say that out loud, but it’s too late.

Levi’s one of the brothers who will just let MC be and do their thing. He might double check and make sure MC isn’t going to get sick, but after that, he’ll leave them be. It’s not really his business. If it makes MC happy, he won’t judge.

Satan

Oddly supportive boyfriend.

The man’s a little feral and weird. I think he would find it kind of precious and adorable; it’s kind of like how cats like to eat grass.

He’d spend a while figuring out which mosses are safe to consume, asking MC if they have any preferences for which moss types they enjoy. Do they prefer certain textures and mouth feels? Are certain colors preferable? Which moss tastes the best?

Then, he would set up a moss terrarium for MC filled with their favorite mosses. Satan may ask them to help him build it as a cute little craft date. This way, MC will have a way to safely snack on moss whenever they wish. A terrarium has the added benefit of MC being able to control where the moss comes from so that they can avoid any harmful bacteria, viruses, pesticides, etc.

Of course, Satan understands that eating moss is unusual, and he may question what it is that compels MC to eat moss, but he doesn’t see the need to stop it.

He may taste the moss himself (in the same way that someone with a pet may be tempted to try pet food). It would, in all likelihood, disappoint him, but MC’s enjoyment is all that matters.

Satan has a real “MC can have a bit of moss – as a treat” kind of mindset. He’ll probably try to see if he can hand-feed MC like they’re a stray cat. He’s weird, too, but we love him.

Asmodeus

“Honey, no. This isn’t how we transition into our feral era.”

Asmo thinks it’s kind of gross, but he asks if maybe eating moss is good for the skin or something (because he can’t think of any other reason MC would even consider eating moss).

When they tell him that’s not why, he gives them a troubled stare with his arms crossed over his stomach. “Uhm, hun. Why are you eating it then?”

Even if MC tells him that it tastes good, there’s no way he’s trying it unless it has incredible health and beauty effects. He can’t stomach the thought of it.

After the disgust washes over him, the concern floods his system instead. He asks if MC is sure that they can and should be eating moss. Regardless of what MC tells him, Asmo will go to Satan or Lucifer (probably both) to make sure that MC isn’t putting themselves in any danger. He couldn’t handle it if MC got sick. All that stress would destroy his skin (and break his heart beyond repair).

Once he ensures MC’s health, he tries to just let MC do their thing. “Just please don’t eat that stuff around me, ‘kay? And if you eat it, please brush your teeth before you kiss me.”

Beelzebub

“Aw, MC, are you hungry? I’m sure we have something more delicious than moss in the fridge. I was just on my way to get a snack. I’ll pick one up for you too, okay?”

He’s probably eaten some moss in his time. He’s no stranger to eating weird things, so his reaction is the least judgmental.

Sometimes moss looks delicious, right? It just makes sense to him that they would want to try eating it.

Beel will definitely ask them to spare some of their moss so he can try it, too. If the moss tastes relatively bad, he might be weary of their tastes in the future, but as long as eating it won’t hurt them, Beel doesn’t care.

Beel is probably the only one who would try to suggest tastier methods of eating the moss. “What about putting it on top of ice cream? Or maybe in a cheeseburger. Mmm. . . cheeseburger. A moss salad might be more appetizing, too. I could blend it into a smoothie or some soup for you. How does that sound?”

It makes him feel a bit comforted that they both have eating habits that others think are weird – like it brings them closer and is a special connection only they can share.

Belphegor

He’s seen Beel bite into a pillar at the castle when he’s hungry. He’s not too troubled by a bit of moss-eating.

Belphie trusts MC not to be stupid enough to ingest moss that would be toxic to them, and not worrying saves him a bit of energy and time. Additionally, I think Belphie would be relatively knowledgeable about plants, so he would probably be able to tell if what MC is eating is likely to kill them.

For the most part, he just doesn’t care. MC could even kiss him with fresh moss breath, and he won’t give a shit. It’s probably better than morning or fish breath, and he’s still getting a kiss, so he doesn’t see a reason to complain.

He won’t be ultra supportive like Satan, but he will be a bit more enthusiastic about it than others – mostly because it gives him an idea for a prank. He could make soup with moss in it, have MC bring a bowl to Lucifer, and eat one themselves so he isn’t suspicious. Then Lucifer would end up eating moss soup. He could probably do that with multiple types of food, too.

One (stupid) point of contention will be that Belphie thinks moss is better as a pillow than as a snack, but he acknowledges that’s a ridiculous difference of opinion. However, that could be a nice date idea: find a mossy forest where he can take a nap while MC gets to snack on moss.

He will probably get scolded by Lucifer and Mammon for enabling MC’s behavior (and not at all because he goes on weird moss dates with MC).

[short-black-diamond]

please could you do the characters rin sae oliver and kaiser for the ‘blue lock characters types’ ( female reader) thank you i really loved that post <33

love anon 💙

yes of course, I'm just a little mad at myself that I couldn't make the other post longer.. also thank you for including the gener my love💙

(Please call yourself 'love anon 💙' okay? ...or however else, it was just an idea :} )

Warnings: some have body types included, but these are just headcannons, okay?

Characters: Rin, Sae, Oliver, Kaiser, Karasu

---

Blue Lock's types?! ...part two

part one

Rin:

Bro that boy is a simp.

correction: they're all simps.

I think we somehow forget that the only thing they can do good probably is play football, otherwise they look like normal teens with muscles to me

However!

I think Rin's type would just be a girl who takes stuff seriously, as in not being a person who jokes a lot but who focuses on her studies and stuff

I mean, he can speak english pretty good, so I think he'd also like a girl who is bi- or multilingual (I'm european, take me Rin)

but also a girl who is like-- I don't know, maybe a little reserved for herself? Who doesn't really give too much price about herself?

I think he read a little too many romance novels (headcannon) and these girls now intrigue him 💀

but yeah, all in all I think his type would be reserved and no-nonsence, booksmart girls

bonus if you wear glasses, it makes you look cute and intelligent in his eyes

...

Sae:

I think the spanish girls have him down bad for them

I think he likes fun girls? like, girls where it's not boring (to him)

Imagine you met him in spain and just thought he was a hot dude and you just wanted to have some fun so you just do sum weird shit and he enjoys that

like, I can just imagine him trying to be goofy just for the hell of it because I always see him so bored and gloomy and stuff like that so I feel bad

Yeah, I can definitely see him simping for girls who like to crack jokes left and right

also maybe (I'm putting in body types here) he likes girls with nice asses? He looks like an ass guy to me

when a girl walks in front of him, with the jeans beinf full with juicy cheeks, he stares at them

shamelessly

I said it and I'll say it again.

Sae looks like he'd enjoy the company of a funny girl with a nice ass

we all thank the spanish girls for that.

...

Oliver:

hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

anon 💙... why him...WHY HIM ????

he a runner he a track star (...is it the right lyrics?)

Bro he'd just fuck anything that's female and breathing in his eyes

he looks like a 30-something year old divorced alcoholic who can't keep shit together

but okay.

also he fucks random bitches and you want me to give him a type???

bro I think just girls in general are his type?

Elder girls?

Cuz like in that one karaoke scene, he wanted to hang with two grown ass women💀

so yeah there you have your answer, he likes older ladies💀💀💀

...

Kaiser

a german huh?

I bet he just likes blond haired girls who like to run after him sorry not sorry

ok but seriously.

He is pretty arrogant, a big egoist, and loves to misinterpret things

so I'd like to imagine him chasing after a girl who's "playing hard to get" (his words not mine)

no but seriously, he really thinks the world evolves around him💀

Ness this is all your fault

but other than girls who are not interested in him, I think he also likes girls that are pretty sarcastic and make him feel worthless, just so that he can prove it to them.. (I really don't know)

but other than that, I think he likes the idea of a one-sided crush, and wants to "make her fall for me."

like bro fuck off with your weird-cut, ugly-white-ass hair

Karasu

I really don't know much about him because I've been watching the anime until the last episode and then I read the manga but not from the start so I'm sorry if there were some canon events that I don't know of..

but let's think about his type

I'd say...a calm girlfriend? A loyal one as well? (*cough*Otoya*cough*)

But I'd even choose Shidou over Otoya tbh💀

okay let's get back to the topic at hand.

Karasu just wants himself a loving and calm girlfriend, who gives him the vibe of a nice forest or steadily flowing river where he can calm his nerves

He looks like he gets angry easily..

so he has a soft girl

he likes chubby girls, just imagining hugging one and resting his head on your shoulder as he uses your soft tummy/juicy thighs as a stress ball and sighs contently

I don't know but Karasu makes me feel stuff...😍😫

---

Hellyu, how was that? It was actually rather fun thinking about their types, and I think I did a pretty good job. If I didn't, tell me and I'll change that!

Read you in the next post!

[boobo13cambridge]

Random draft

A/N: Hii guys, so I had this in the drafts and I wanted to post it because i just thought it was funny lol don't take it too seriously tho

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylian: bébé

Kylian: stp soit pas fâcher (please don't be mad)

You: kes t’a fait mtn Kylian? (what have you done now, Kylian?)

Kylian: bb promets-moi que tu ne te fâcheras pas 🥺 (baby, you have to promise me that you won't get angry)

You: non (no)

Kylian: bb 😔 (baby)

You: kylian srx kes t’a fait? (Kylian, seriously, what have you done?)

Kylian: tu c ton rouge à lèvres rouge? celui de ysl? (you know your red lipstick, the one from YSL?)

You: kylian… 

Kylian: wallahi, jte jure que j pas fait par exprès mais je l’ai échapper dans le bol de toilette (I swear, I swear I didn't do it on purpose, but I dropped it in the toilet bowl)

You: WTF KYLIAN C KOI TON PROBLÈME! 😡😡(WTF, Kylian, what's your problem?)

Kylian: bb t’avais dis que t'allais pas te fâcher!! (baby, you said you wouldn't get angry!!)

You: NON MAIS CAVA PAS DANS TA TÊTE OU QUOI??? COMMENT TA FAIT POUR ÉCHAPPER MON ROUGE À LÈVRE DANS LA TOILETTE! JTE JURE JE VAIS TE TUER! 😡😡😡 (NO, BUT ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND OR WHAT??? HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO DROP MY LIPSTICK IN THE TOILET? I SWEAR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!)

Kylian: Bb, relax svp jvais t'en acheter un autre (baby, please relax, I'll buy you another one!)

You: NON MAIS COMMENT T’A FAIS POUR L’ÉCHAPPER DANS LA TOILETTE? (BUT HOW DID YOU DO IT? HOW DID YOU DROP IT IN THE TOILET?)

Kylian: jtm mon amour (I love you, my love)

You: t srx kylian? Explique toi mtn! (Are you serious, Kylian? Explain yourself right now!)

Kylian: je voulais juste voir la couleur (I just wanted to see the color)

You: tu vois la couleur à chaque fois que je le porte (you see the color every time I wear it)

Kylian: je m’excuse, princesse, pardonne-moi svp 🥺 (I'm sorry, princess, please forgive me 🥺)

You: j pas envie (I don't want to)

You: je suis vraiment fâché après toi (I'm really mad at you)

Kylian: maiiiissss bb je me suis excuser, svp je vais t’acheter tout les rouge à lèvres ysl au monde (buuutttt baby, I apologized, please, I'll buy you all the YSL lipsticks in the world)

You: omg kyky , 311,25 €??

Kylian: je t’ai acheter tous les models qu’ils avaient (i bought all the red colours that they had)

Kylian: tu me pardonne mtn?? 🥺 (do you forgive me now??)

You: … oui d’accord jte pardonne 🙄 (… fine i forgive you)

Kylian: jtm mon coeur ❤️❤️❤️ (ily my heart)

You: jtm aussi bb ❤️ (ily too bb)

Kylian: alors tu m’envois t seins ou pas? 😏 (so are you going to send me a pic of your tits or what?)

You: jte bloque (I’m blocking you)

[luckstergal]

Yandere Elliott Mod is funny as hell (to me)

Disclaimer: None of this is meant to be taken seriously, this is me rambling into the void and to my friends.

I cannot believe I'm reviewing a mod, lol. Is it a review? I don't know anymore, just giving my take on it.

It's been like 2 weeks since I gave the Yandere Elliott mod a try and honestly I find it more unintentionally hilarious than off-putting in most places.

I felt that some of the moments could be interpreted as genuinely wholesome and sweet if you isolated them (but that's just how context works in a nutshell I suppose. Look, I genuinely thought the insomnia scene and the post-moonlight-jellies scene with adorable, alright?).

The fact that I have to go out of my way to play very different than I ever would have certainly modifies my overall perspective. If I played normally, the only really unsettling thing would be his unhinged letters. Well, one in particular at least. Most of the letters were campy and funny, knowing how melodramatic this character is naturally. Only 1 letter made me and 2 other people I showed it to go "Oh GOD". Everything else? Unintentionally hilarious, or wholesome if you take the obsession letters out. His stalker-schedule was funny as hell. What do I mean by that? How is the "stalker schedule" funny? The mod alters his schedule after 1 heart, so he'll periodically go spy on you on the farm. This was scary only twice for me because I didn't expect it, and there was a long gap between the first time and the second time. Once summer hit, however, it got funny. He was showing up every single day at 6:30 on the dot, except for Friday and Sunday. He was so punctual that I'd look at the clock, see he's about to show up, and prepare myself for my daily convo with him/gift giving if it's Monday and Tuesday. Man was so consistent it was hilarious.

Even better: when he's standing there for so long, his pathfinding kinda... glitches? He'll act like there's something in front of him preventing his movement (like when a player character standing in an NPC's pathing) and suddenly just... book it across the map into the void. Practically died laughing (though I did freak out the first time it happened because I thought "WAIT THIS MOD LETS HIM CHASE YOU?" only for him to run passed and into nothingness)

It actually got a bit lonely in autumn when he stopped showing up and opted to camp outside the mines instead all day. (Elli, sweetie, Ignatius is not going there most of the time because autumn 1 is a busy season for him, come back!) The fact that I have to fully romance all the other bachelors in order to activate one of the legitimately most unhinged aspects of the mod is what throws me off. I know they're fictional characters, but I've always felt icky at multi-dating personally. Just not for me. I pick one and I stick with my decision. Reading the text in the content file is one thing, but I wanted to see the event play out for myself.

After the event, it got hilarious again completely on accident.

Cue Elli not letting Ignatius leave the farm because of his jealousy. It was winter when this happened. The Obsession Cage-Loop event is designed to where Pierre will send you 50 of a random seed packet every day to make up for the fact that you cannot leave.

Crops don't grow in winter.

The mod makes up for this fact by Pierre sending you ANCIENT FRUIT SEEDS. I had over 300 seeds by the time spring hit. Elli straight up SCAMMING Pierre during the Cage-Loop completely on accident. I'm just sitting here thinking "Dang, had I known this would have happened, I'd have activated this sooner AND kept Elli's heart-level low just to get more bang for my buck. Endless supply of Ancient Fruit Seeds just because you're jealous? Yes please!".

After the cage-loop is over, that's pretty much it. Elli apologizes, wants to do better so you feel safe around him, is willing to just be tormented by his jealousy; etc. and things just kinda go... normal??? After that. He still has his eye-brow raising marriage lines afterwards but after everything has passed, he's not too unsettling.

He's just a weirdo who doesn't know how to handle his love.

Other than ONE letter, and the fact that I had to go OUT OF MY WAY to deliberately activate the Cage-Loop event?

This mod vanilla as fuck, lol.

And no, I didn't do the divorce event. I have a history relating to such dark thoughts and even just reading the dialogue in the content file made me uncomfortable.

Overall 10/10 good way to have spent my week between my 2.0 vtuber model work.

--

It also do not help at all that what makes this mod hilarious in my head is that I play as an inhuman farmer who absolutely towers over Elli in every way. Ignatius is not threatened by this obsessive weirdo in the least bit.

[clay-tries-his-best]

! atsv spoilers !

when i sat down in my theatre seat to see atsv im telling you i was being the most autistic fuck you've ever witnessed. you could practically see the sparkles in my eye, dude.

the spot. my godddd he's so silly. the marketing ploy to make him seem like the side villain from the trailers was so fucking smart. I really thought that Miguel was going to be the main villain considering him fighting miles in pracgjcalky every trailer ever and being in the post-credits scene of itsv. and miles dealing with having to be everywhere at once was very realistic and gave me the classic "oh my god this poor boy this is painful to watch". oh and gwen's beginning scene of the drums just gave me the feeling that the movie was going to be fantastic. like, betrayal, amazing visuals, more gwen?? already a wonderful start. also the fact that the spot's whole reason to turn into a major villain is that nobody, not even the person who caused his disfigurement, would take him seriously- like- HUH???? perfect. wonderful. bro just wanted miles to pay attention to him for a little while.

Pavitr and Hobie were also really great additions to the spider team. Despite the fact that Hobie's accent was so thick and deep that I couldn't understand what he was saying a good third of the time, he still managed to work his way into my top 5 characters of the movie. THAT is good character building. At first I thought he was going to be the stereotypical love rival, considering his first mention was miles getting jealous of him and gwen being friends. I was worried that was how the story was actually going to go when he upstaged miles by breaking done the collider force field, but hes actually a really chill and cool guy. pretty sure he even roots for gwen and miles, so that's pretty funny. Pavitr was also super funny with a great character design. " Chai means tea, you're just saying tea tea! " was probably one of my favorite lines / jokes from the whole movie. His world was also very pretty and SUPER detailed. Props to every artist for Mumbatten.

Miguel and Peter B.'s dynamic was really fun to watch as well. This cryptic emo ass mastermind vampire who has watched people die and destroyed a universe next to this middle aged man in a pink fuzzy bathrobe who's oogling over his daughter. also, the line where Miguel said " I've had the right amount of you today " to peter b instead of " I've had enough of you " like the normal saying goes was kinda queer. just saying. but yeah, great villain, and I do want to see him in the final battle against spot, but I eventually don't want him to be the one to beat spot, y'know? If it was to be anyone, it's obviously going to be miles. Whether it's just miles or miles and gwen or miles and the gang gwen assembled at the end of atsv (WHICH HAD SPIDERNOIR YESSS SPIDERNOIR FANS LETS GOOOOOOO I HAD THE STUPIDEST SMILE ON MY FACE WHEN I SAW HIM IM TELLKNG YOU), in the end it's still gotta be miles.

the collider scene with the spot was really cool. spot may be silly, but he's not dumb enough to be " saved " by his archnemesis who only cared about him when he was about to become a transdimensional eldritch horror. boss move. his final form was really pleasing to look at because you can just see the detail that went into it. Looking at some screenshots, I noticed there were a lot of eyes and I'm pretty sure I saw a version of spiderman (original world 1610 peter, possibly?) staring at miles / the audience. despite him not showing up for another hour, hour and a half, I wasn't mad. If a movie can avoid showing the main villain for that long and still have them integrated properly, just, wow. blown away. oh and this part made me even more interested because his beginning ost, spot 1, I think? his random beats and tunes sounded more silly and disorganized and clumsy, like him trying to take the atm. near the end, he got spot 2, which was more shrill and frightening. I'm not musically trained, and I could still tell that it was scarier, and to me, they sounded very similar. To not have too far of a difference between the two and stroke two entirely different chords is just. ugh. wow.

don't even get me started on prowler miles... RAHHH THE CHARACTER AND WORLD DESIGN FOR UNIVERSE 42!!!! it was so beautiful and scary and breathtaking because there is. no. spiderman. when miles's mom didn't know what he was talking about and gwen wasn't really outside, it hit me like a brick in the head. and alternate aaron??? hello??? he made me physically uncomfortable because of how terrifying his face was. i couldnt even tell if he was wearing makeup or he was just that dramatjcally shaded. the turn miles does to see that it was his dad painted on the wall instead of aaron.... GRAHHHHHH

as an aspiring artist, I can say nothing but wow. that movie, the fact that it was 2 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES???? HELLO??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WORK THAT MUSTVE TOOK??? unbelievable. and you know that sony felt bad for making us wait on a cliffhanger, so they probably were around 3/4 done with atsv and started working on beyond, so we didn't have to wait as long as we would've if they finished atsv and then started beyond. I'm so glad that those 5 years in the Sony team paid off, because that. was. amazing. my depression is vaporized. im going feral, going wild, going insane. i will not think of anything else until beyond is out. can't wait to see my bbg spot have his villain moment in March 2024!!! <333

[incarnadinedreams]

I frequently see people saying that the list of traits Jiang Cheng gave to the matchmaker are "impossible standards", ridiculous, unreasonable, outlandish, absurd, nobody could ever possibly meet them, etc.

Anyway the translation that's up on the wiki is:

His requirements in his partner are: naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, hard-working and thrifty, coming from a respected family, cultivation level not too high, personality not too strong, not too talkative, voice not too loud and must treat Jin Ling nicely.

First off, the list comes from a random trivia answer MXTX gave in an interview, not the novel canon. So whether you even consider it canon at all is up for grabs to begin with. Though I think there was a scene in CQL with a similar list so it would be canon there, minus the Jin Ling point (due to the point in the story the scene was set)? (So I believe the matchmaker blacklisting point still wouldn't be CQL canon though, just the list?)

But if you do take it all as a Super Serious Canon Thing, well... to be honest I just don't think that list is at all unusual, given the setting? I believe many of the points in the list are just traits considered generally good for ladies of the time period (intentionally vague as that time period may be). (I am absolutely not an expert though so please correct me if I'm wrong about that.)

To me it seems that it's not that they're unusually high or unattainable standards, they're just so generic that they're sort of unhelpful. That he has like no idea what he wants at all outside what he's supposed to want.

The only points that actually seem to have any specificity are things like cultivation level not too high. Which some people could interpret negatively, and fair enough. But personally to me that seemed more like a flashing neon sign of 'please someone not like my mother', given her strength in cultivation was one of her defining traits (and something that he may have felt led to her disappointment in him). Even though Jiang Cheng may carry forward some of her traits himself (for better and for worse; this is not a YZY hate zone but there's... a lot there), he does seem to have at least given some thought to choosing a partner to counter some of the pain points of his own childhood and aim for something different (and we see him trying to do that himself in specific ways as well, like his staunch support of Jin Ling when he was crying after the Second Siege, even if he doesn't always fully succeed).

And, of course, 'must treat Jin Ling nicely'. Which seems obvious and not like a big deal at first, but I think actually could reasonably be a big sticking point in a potential marriage. My understanding is that he was wildly more involved in Jin Ling's life than a maternal uncle would normally be. Including this as a specific requirement seems to send a particular type of statement, as if it was important to him that any potential match would not take offense to him treating an orphaned child that wasn't his with a lot of attention and gifts and favor... hmmm, how could he have possibly decided that could be a problem in a marriage...?

(Obviously, the scenario would be very different than his parents' - none of the salacious rumors and the humiliation that came with them that really drove a deeper wedge between YZY and JFM - but he was obviously going to be doing a lot more for Jin Ling than an average uncle so it makes sense to have that be a specific point upfront.)

I'm ultimately in the 'it was MXTX making a joke and not meant to be taken nearly this seriously' with a side of 'the clan leaders of this generation aren't in a hurry to get married because MXTX just didn't feel like writing their wives in and also it was funny' camp so I think there's a limit to how much insight can be gleaned from this, you know? It is fun to play with it in-universe and explore the implications on the society and political system going forward in the decades post-canon, but I do try to keep myself from taking it too seriously when it's clearly not a well-thought-out plot point or anything, just a fun offhand jokey trivia bit.

But I like the vibes of it all well enough to accept it as 'semi-canon' or 'canon enough' for myself anyway because I think the 'must treat Jin Ling nicely' point is cute and the rest is just standard for the setting and the blacklisted by matchmakers part is funny, and I'm much more willing to subsume random bits from interviews into my brain's blorbo blob if it's something funny.

[lego-man-speer]

who had the hairiest ballsack in the reich

so I know this was asked ironically but I will answer this semi-ironically.

Cutting this because it's a bit nsfw :)

Ok, so I've seen the penises of five Nuremberg defendants post-execution: Ribbentrop, Rosenberg, Frick, Göring and Jodl (obviously won't post them here but you can find them online). Of those pictures, Göring had the hairiest.

Everyone else's special areas I have not seen. So I have to go by random Reich trivia I know for no reason... And the men I know most about are Hess, Rosenberg and Ribbentrop - and we already established that I've see the latter two and they weren't that hairy.

So, with the fact I know that Hess had really thick beard hair, I'm going to apply this to other areas of his body too, and pull a headcanon out of thin air that Hess was a werewolf almost with all that hair.

Whoever reads this... please don't take this too seriously. I just thought this ask was really funny and found an excuse to dump random information :)))

[desire-mona]

for those that are blissfully unaware, tiktok is becoming the new 2014 tumblr in terms of eating disorders and trends that revolve around trying to make people insecure about normal human body parts. can't pinpoint exactly when it started, im theorising around when y2k started to come back in fashion. but it's gotten to a point where people are outright putting a heavy emphasis on the fact that being skinny is superior? i guess?

influencers are posting about their horrendous diets in the form of "what i eat in a day" videos, but some go as far as to outright talk about their disordered eating in a glamorous way while doing their makeup and showing off their body.

the parts of the body that these people deem as ugly are frankly shocking for lack of a better word. people have been making up insecurities about the most mundane, essentially universal features of the human body. im not even sure how to word this because it's so ridiculous to explain out loud (im using voice to text rn). to name a couple: nose gap, which is the space between the bottom of your nose and your top lip (there should be a space there, by the way.) strawberry legs, which are the dots on your legs where the hair follicles are? im not even entirely sure because its just something on my body that ive never paid attention to.

the "micro insecurities" have gone so far that somebody essentially made the "toothpasting" of the modern day?? LMAO 

during a rant video, @ superkeara made up (what was intended to be) a hyperbolic version of one of these pseudo-insecurities, dubbed "vuvuzela arms." vuvuzela arms are when the top of your arm is bigger than your forearm, also known as how an arm works, that was the joke. but people took it seriously, not in that they straight up missed the joke, but more the fact that shit in this vein is so inherently ridiculous that it fit in with its more genuine counterparts. and i would find it much more funny if it weren't something that people actually found a way to be insecure about. i generally like tiktok as a platform but its main user base is becoming concerning.

to add: people also make videos saying that "we need to normalise (whatever pseudo insecurity they're talking about)" or "(whatever pseudo insecurity they're talking about) is sexy" which i suppose is vaguely better because they're encouraging people to like these parts of themselves? but at the same time, please stop making a thing of something that is nowhere even close to the blast radius of a thing.

i've known about the re-rise of eating disorder culture and fatphobia on tiktok for a bit over a year now, but i wasnt actually aware of how deeply ingrained its become, especially among kids. even with ozempic specifically, i thought it was a lot less mainstream and stayed within the sphere of LA influencers with podcasts. but no, random teenagers (and potentially younger) are trying / wanting to go on blood thinners to get skinnier.

if any of my following spends a majority of time on tiktok and sees these videos as something to take to heart: please don't listen when beauty influencers tell you that a part of your body is something that needs to be fixed. if you thought it was normal your entire life, and now somebody is making up a term to tell you that it isn't, youre probably the right one in this situation. a gap between your nose and your lips, dots on your legs, and whatever the fuck vuvuzela arms are, theyre all fine and should not be put on the same level as wisdom teeth or an appendix. 

and before anyone points it out, i know that fatphobia has never fully gone away, that much is obvious. but there is certainly a lot more now compared to 3-5 years ago, especially on tiktok, and ESPECIALLY targeted towards kids.

[cakejerry]

asks pt.2 more recent ones

ft fanfiction anon, minho is ugly, thank you minjoon people for the links and fic recs!!! and the anon with the random jikook takes

ive been debating answering this one, like... yeah, obviously. but no jimin hate is allowed on this blog so youre getting blocked

idk, ive also been thinking about posting this but... i don't have any thoughts. except that this just proves how close they are, in any sense. and yes that was literally a joke we don't actually think their parents were involved, cmon. 'meds exist' cmon. 'suicide everyday' yeah you're a troll never message me again, goodbye.

this is why i can never take any of those charts seriously, they all say something different and everybody's #1 somewhere. its literally all imaginary and extremely unimportant. and instead of frauding jimin, which would have gotten him nothing but hate, i wish instead they'd left jungkook alone so we could see who ACTUALLY has what it takes

i have literally never understood the hype around jungkook. but maybe thats because he only started glowing up around 2019, which is when most of these taekookers came to the fandom, lol. but your last sentence was funny, 10/10

jimin should have always been the center of that triangle. vmin vs jikook i would like to see it. the classic main drama lead thats semi toxic and interesting and the second lead who's the best friend and the better option but jimin chooses jungkook anyways lol

minjoon under the stars ahhh jimin is such a sweet little glazed donut that needs to be handled with utmost care

blocked. also that's because namjoon has the charisma of a tree. but jimin could have chemistry with a brick wall so suck it. minjoon forever

cute little fanfiction moment but i dont think it holds any water in real life terms, or means anything, honestly. but thank you for the links

here come the fanfiction writers. also that's the finger heart emoji for the curious minds my laptop is prehistoric. anyways. im not gonna grace this with any further comment.

sure

this is making me ctfu because its just a clip of jungkook dancing to 3d but anon is sooo disgusted ahahhahaha. bts were different??? different from what :joy emoji:. also, if you see this, elaborate on your last sentence please.

i literally dgaf he is so ugly and his bug eyes weird me out and im convinced kpop fans have a mass gaslight thing going on trying to convince me he's attractive. 2. jonghyun wouldnt work with jimin for several reasons i just brought him up because whenever im thinking about 'men in the industry who aren't shit' he's the only one who comes up. 3. love that you just fully spiraled into waxing poetic about jimins ass there. understandble.

sure

well yeah but specifically the tweets i was posting are so... racially motivated. whitewashed jimin=white=good=pure=innocence=bottom and top jungkook=rough=tough=raw=dirty=dark skin. like it was just so weird to me.

umm sure, whatever you say anon. im gonna forget all of what you told me now because i genuinely do not want to know.

yup this is the general consensus in cakejerryland

thank you for this rec actually!!!!!!!!! it looks scrumptious and WILL be posting my thoughts upon finishing!!!

thank you random citizen!!! omg idk if you knew i have a hyung kink or not but this is sooo not that. laugh emoji laugh emoji jimin is soooo cute he's a kiddo playing around!!! babyy

i respect the grind. i do not, however, respect him.

okayy anndddd... what do you want me to do about this?

yes he wants to be perceived as such. we agreed upon this when seven dropped. and idc and it doesnt matter to me because i dont expect any of bts to come out so they will all forever be ambiguously straight and theres no point to discussing it further

fanservice is in the job description. but you said it yourself. 'natural' dynamic. they're simply the closest and we can't deny this

umm sure. i didn't see anything special in those clips at all lol i was not gagged. they were just looking at each other and they do that every single time they're in public or on camera or on stage together

lol hawaii was ... a time. they were also "doing laundry," don't forget.

[platadesangre]

jesucrist superstar 2018 la lírica de san andreu

(old review but i'm posting now)

ok so i just watched this 2018 jcs adaptation. here's the thing, it's in CATALAN! the language of my people! (i'm from barcelona)

it's on youtube! here's the link give it a try

read more to see my thoughts and some screenshots!

it's... well.

they made the sexiest decision of CASTING ANNAS AS A WOMAN (she acts and sings very good!)

AND SIMON TOO (well, she had a lower voice register, it didn't really fit but alright)

these are the main boys!

i'm sorry but jc looks like emo justin bieber.

this judas can sing! he acts so good too

look at mary!

in "hossana" they made this funny decision of having mary and judas cheering on jesus

(they look cute!)

judas: EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY FRIEND

during "damned for all time" judas barges in while the priests are eating fruit LOL

(this picture is so funny)

it's fine, but overall i give it a 2 stars bc

the translation is meh, i could see they were trying to adapt the og text and the 1975 spanish version. kind of a frankentranslation to be honest

the instrumentals felt a bit cheap?

there was a very random percussion choreography?

caiaphas is not really a bass

simon zealotes felt very weak

also the priests are represented as villains

alright gethsemane

herod seems oddly heterosexual to me?

the priests do this disgusting thing during "judas' death." they appear while he is suffering and offer him a GUN and MAKE HIM SHOOT HIMSELF WHAT THE HELL

idk man idk

(please don't take this too seriously, i know adapting musical theater is hard. i aprecciate the effort people make)

[evelhak]

If you're still doing the character ask game, I need to hear Tetsuya, all numbers please 👀🩵

Oh, wow. You most certainly shall have it. (Prepare to be here for a while.)

1. My first impression of them

Probably something like "cool, my favourite colour". I definitely had zero deep thoughts about him (or anyone) in the beginning, since I process feelings pretty slowly.

2. When I think I truly started to like them

Probably towards the end of season 2. (But hey, still on first watch.) Not because there was any particular moment that caused it, must have just had enough processing time around then, and enough information for points of connection.

3. A song that reminds me of them

Ahem. I'll attempt to narrow it down.

You're lucky the post limit is ten.

4. How many people I ship them with

One, really. Just Kagami. But that doesn't mean nothing besides that happens in my fics. Relationships are messy, so it's not like I'm preventing Kuroko from having any attraction towards other people, or anyone else to him.

5. My favourite ship of them

KagaKuro it is. I live for relationships that are based on trust, commitment and insane merging with another in an activity that both love. I don't need ships that feel surprising or outside the box, I need ships that feel real. I also don't need angst and toxicity. Of course there will always be problems in any relationship, but I want the general tone to be that of growth and positivity. A particular aspect that really made me fall in love with their love was the growth from dependent on each other to working on themselves as individuals to be stronger together, which leads to not needing to be together but still deciding to do so because they want to, which is beautiful. That's an aspect I love to explore further in my writing.

6. My least favourite ship of them.

I feel like I've answered this before, but it's Momoi. It literally makes my skin crawl to see stuff about them, (especially stuff that treats them as a natural progression of the story as if that's totally reasonable) and that's a strangely strong reaction from me, but it has to do with how Momoi's "crush" is depicted. I think there's something that really underestimates both characters in it, turning them into a joke that isn't funny at all. It's old news that women violating physical boundaries is seen as harmless and funny or even cute (truly despicable) but it really needs to stop. I also hate that Momoi's feelings are depicted in an incredibly shallow way that dumbs her down. I'm supposed to believe that a character as smart and confident as her will fall head over heels for someone she thought nothing of before, for the first random act of kindness? Yes, there absolutely are people who are so deprived of love and attention that they will do that, and it's not their fault, but I think it's dishonest to depict Momoi as someone who will confuse love and/or attraction with gratitude that hard. Sure, it doesn't take a genius to see that she sometimes feels left out because she's a girl, but that is incongruent as a reason for this too, because she's obviously looking for deeper friendship when she looks at everyone else longingly, so to think that she instantly fell in love as an answer to that doesn't make any sense. The only answer to this behaviour is self-deception, in a complexity that does justice to her character.

This is getting long, and I didn't even touch on Kuroko's side of things but really, you can read all about it in my fic, if you're interested.

7. A quote from them that you remember

I think I've answered this rather seriously before, so let's pick a funnier one. (at least a little.) I don't remember the exact wording, but it's the quote about there always being a slight chance that a meteorite will strike at the last seconds of the game. It's funny to me because I've said literally the same thing prior to seeing KnB, and I think it demonstrates in such a funny way both the strength and weakness of a brain that tends to ignore physical reality in favour of fantasy. The strength is obviously that you can find what you need for your desired outcome in almost anything, you can always imagine a way your fantasy will become reality, and so never lose hope, but the weakness is pretty obviously that not being so grounded in physical reality makes you rather clumsy and inconsistent with concrete physical tasks. Possibly it's not so funny to someone else, but it's funny to me as someone who has always been 1000% willpower, meanwhile struggling to develop physical abilities to even passably match that willpower. BUT when you do get there, magic happens. I would say it's desirable to have your head in the clouds and feet on the ground.

8. Your favourite outfit of them

I do like striped t-shirts.

9. Your least favourite outfit of them

Orange t-shirt. Wtf are you doing Kuroko, you have blue hair! Do you want to look dead?

10. Describe the character in one sentence

An impossibly relatable myriad of contradictions.

11. What's the first thing you think about when thinking about the character

Probably either the fandom here on Tumblr, or my own fics. Because those are the things that are in my daily life.

12. Sexuality hc!

Asexual and gray-romantic. That's how I just always read Kuroko in the anime and manga. I know a lot of people tend to automatically headcanon characters who display no opposite sex attraction as being gay, which is valid, but I am asexual myself so of course I'm more likely to start to wonder if someone is ace when they display neither opposite nor same sex attraction in a way that is clearly sexual. I see no evidence of it in canon, even Kagami seems to have some inclination towards being interested in sexual things compared to Kuroko. So Kuroko might just as well be ace. Which is HILARIOUS because it's called the invisible orientation sometimes. That's why I'll never let go of this headcanon. Literally who would be better asexual representation? Asexuality can even be one factor why Kuroko has so little presence. Apparently, people exchange sexual energy all the time, and if you don't emit, receive or respond to it, people may not even notice you. (It's a hypothesis but based on my experience there might be something to it.) Obviously that would be just one reason in something that is more complex, but that's just what makes it interesting to me, when multiple factors come together. Anyway, I do see latent romantic attraction there, but I don't think it's ever strong enough for Kuroko to act upon until Kagami of course. I don't think he's necessarily even aware of it. I do think that attraction is leaning towards men, though. However, he's very very particular. Only Kagami is able to break the threshold, haha. Also, thinking Kuroko is asexual doesn't necessarily mean I think he's sex-averse (since someone people still don't understand the difference.)

13. Your favourite friendship they have

I just talked about the negative aspects of their relationship, so it might not be obvious, unless you've seen a post where I talk about this, but it's with Momoi, and it's precisely because I think their friendship and actual points of connection were largely ignored in canon. They both feel slightly like outsiders, they both have made observing people in different ways their forte, which I think means they both have a natural interest for it, they are the most naturally socially inclined in their Teiko team (besides Akashi, but he's in a different way from them). They even have this pastel colour coding thing going on. And I think it's super tone-deaf to not have any explicit comparison between Kuroko's and Momoi's experiences of being ignored because she is definitely ignored too, yes in a different way, but the more important difference is that people don't even notice she is, and the fandom does it too. (Newsflash, the reason is misogyny.) There should definitely be similar comparison between Kuroko and Momoi as there is between Kuroko and Takao. As if being a "supporting character" is profound when a guy does it, but when a girl does it, it's just what she was supposed to do all along anyway, so no one even pays attention. Another point I can't help but see is, that if Kuroko was a girl, Momoi would definitely be that extrovert friend who adopts the introvert friend, and they would be besties like none you'd ever seen. Momoi would still bury Kuroko in hugs, but in a way more genuine way in which that over-enthusiasm wouldn't be out of place or shallow. But all of that deep friendship potential is ignored. In short, there is a shit ton to explore in their relationship, and I'm doing just that.

14. Best storyline they had

I don't know if I can answer anything else than the whole thing? I just love the whole premise and how it plays out. I love that the story is committed to the perspective of someone with significant limitations in power: Kuroko doesn't magically "win the lottery" and actually become the most powerful being, like protagonists usually do, in series like Naruto and Boku no Hero Academia. Kuroko's story is a lot like "the heroine's journey" and actually commits to the unattractive parts of it, meanwhile so many other stories just use the sexy parts of the heroine's journey to spice up the hero's journey and create emotion porn. That's why Kuroko is actually relatable to people who know that the ultimate power fantasy is out of their reach: he finds an alternative way to be strong, he actually has to be smart to overcome his limitations in power. I know some people love escaping to power fantasies, but I really appreciate these grounded aspects in this otherwise fantastical story. Even though the way to Seirin's win is paved with unexplained power of friendship moves that make no practical sense, the result doesn't feel like lazy storytelling because of this commitment.

15. Worst storyline they had

Hmm, there's no bad storyline in my opinion, so I'm just going to have to continue with how much more there would still be to get out of the overarching story with some added female perspective. So many of Kuroko's struggles are totally average struggles of women. Having less raw strength than the average person you'll be facing? Being ignored on a daily basis? Going out of your way to be the emotional glue because no one else will do it? Not being taken seriously? Your boundaries being constantly violated? Obviously, I'm not saying this doesn't happen to men. I'm saying this happens particularly to men who are thought of as feminine. So I think it's really sad that stories like this ignore how many struggles people who are perceived to be feminine, share. It's sad that misogyny prevents stories like these from getting out of the male centric narrative and keep isolating the male and female characters from each other even though they share so many experiences. So, the worst storyline is the lack of acknowledgement that it should have also always been a female storyline in addition to everything great it already does.

16. A childhood headcanon

Kuroko loved to pretend play that ghosts and spirits like poltergeist exist, and they are misunderstood and someone just needs to find the right words to talk to them, so he went looking for them in dark and mysterious places like a forest or an attic if he was near one.

17. What do you think their first word was?

"Granny" because she was always home more than Kuroko's parents.

18. How do you think they were as a kid?

I think Kuroko was significantly more shy, quiet and socially awkward, but also more animated and emotive. He had to grow a thicker skin and hide major parts of himself to survive in a harsh social world.

19. The most random ship you've seen people have with them?

Who haven't I seen? Kuroko no harem indeed. Probably like... Imayoshi or Kasamatsu? Which is like... why? Where is the chemistry? The foundation? The thematic significance? At least I understand why some people think it's hot to ship Kuroko with Hanamiya or the Jabberwock, like, I theoretically understand that some people find antagonists who demean someone and beat them up to be smashing boyfriend material, or if not that, at least some basic porn, but I don't think I will ever understand the people who seem like they are looking for ships with pretty much nothing in it. I guess they want to create everything themselves, maybe?

20. A weird headcanon

Kuroko wrote some angsty poetry in middle school and ended up burying it underground because he was embarrassed by it. I have no clue where this came from? I don't know if it's that weird, but it's the most baseless thing I've ever written in my fic. (I make sure my wilder shit is canon based even if it's an unlikely interpretation.)

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

Besides Seirin's win and reuniting with the GOM, I think in early childhood when it was mostly just Kuroko and Granny who was really loving and showed him the magical world of stories, painting him a picture that he could do anything and be anything he wanted, and he didn't really know the real world wasn't as kind, yet.

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

Besides end of middle school, at the spring of third year in high school. (Oops, spoilers for TOT!)

23. Future headcanon

Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. Do I have plans. Some that I feel like I'll be hanged for.

Oh well, let's just say that Kuroko and Kagami will definitely get married, since that's both obvious and safe.

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

Argh, it's so hard for me to answer these because all secrets I think Kuroko has are, again, spoilers for my fic. A lot of them are still secrets to Kuroko as well, for quite some time.

Well, I don't think he told anyone he's asexual, out of self-preservation. (Untill he does.)

25. When do you think they acted the most ooc

Hmm, I don't have anything big, but it always felt a little strange to me that Kuroko decided to comfort Momoi by touching her head, as opposed to a shoulder or something, because Kuroko evidently doesn't like people touching his head. It seemed strange that he wouldn't consider it might be annoying to someone else too. Of course, I can come up with multiple explanations for this. There's no reason why he wouldn't know that it's in fact something that Momoi likes. Or he could have been trying to come up with the most platonic way to comfort someone he could think of, and it turned out strange. I'm sure there could be other explanations, too.

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

I think increasingly towards the end of the series, because he would gradually open up and relax more around people.

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

I kind of dislike crossovers like this but... well, if I must choose, I guess it would be quite interesting if Kuroko could meet one of my own characters. Maybe the other protagonist from my debut novel, who is a literally invisible creature who would totally make Kuroko think that he was right in the childhood headcanon mentioned above.

28. The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

Hmm, I think Kuroko went a bit far about teasing Kagami with Nigou sometimes. I know it's hard to get if you don't have an irrational phobia, but it's not really a funny experience. It could be retraumatizing.

29. How do you think they would be as a parent?

The major spoiler questions just keep coming, geez. Obviously Kuroko will be a gentle and loving parent. It's just that I want to blurt all my fic plans out now. But I can't. All I can promise is that it's going to get... interesting. I have a habit of synthesizing canon and fanon in ways that make seemingly contradictory aspects blend together. Let's just say that I'll make liberal use of some loved and hated fan fic traditions in the topic of parenthood. I promise it's going to be a bit out there. Actually about as out there as basketball is in canon. Theoretically real. Which is kind of my point. (Presicely my point.)

30. The funniest scene they had?

Honestly, it's when Kuroko is looking at Kagami, mouth open and seeing him shining literal light, pfft. There's no way to watch that shit with a straight face, and no pun intended.

Thank you for asking me, I hope you had fun reading this, you deserve so much fun after working for entrance exams! I'm so happy about your success. ❤️ If you liked this answer, I'll always be down to do it for another character or just talk about things privately too. ✨

[heich0e]

if you've sent in an ask lately that i didn't respond to, it may be answered under the cut! i'll be dividing these posts up by general subject matter so no one has to scroll for too long to find any asks they may have sent. feel free to block the tag #liv got mail if you don't like seeing posts like this. i'm sorry to have kept you waiting, and p.s. i love you very much <3

part one: love letters ✉

✉ @ayeputita asked: thinking about you and hoping you’re doing well💕

thank you little guy!! i am doing very well and i hope that you are too!!

✉ @shibaraki asked: happy wednesday darlin I hope u have a good day if I could I would treat you to a little coffee n snack ✨

my precious moo i hope you are doing well and that life is treating you kindly!! the other day i went out and there was a kitten in the window of an apartment i was walking by and i stopped outside the window to wave at them and as i continued walking to my destination i went 'oh NO i should have taken a photo to send to monty!!!' and i'm sorry i didn't but pls know that the thought (and the love) was there <3

✉ @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name asked: I hope your Wednesday has been good Liv!

I HOPE YOUR WEDNESDAY/WEEK HAS BEEN SO GOOD SWEET ARIEL!! u deserve absolutely nothing less than that!!

✉ Anonymous asked: hello liv!! hope you're having a lovely week. did you get to wear any cute outfits lately? 💖💖

hello sweet thing!! i hope your week has also been super lovely so far!! and LET ME TELL YOU it has been SOOOOOOOOO terribly warm lately, but the air conditioning in my office is SO cold. so every morning i have to wake up and plan an outfit that i can easily convert from a hot outside outfit to a cold inside outfit while still being cute. truly one of the greatest tests of my skills </3 i am seriously considering investing in some of those pants that zip off into shorts that were popular in the early noughties (honestly....... i think it could kind of be a look)

✉ Anonymous asked: hi liv! dropping by to tell you how much i appreciate you. not just for the phenomenal writing that you so generously share with us, but also for the gracious, smart, funny and kind person that you are. thank you for allowing us to step into your fertile imagination and for being such a wonderful character.

-one of your little guys

p.s. please don’t feel pressured to respond to this ask as you may be taking a little break from this app 🤗

this is the kind of message that makes my heart squeeze all tight n sticky in my chest. the thought that you would take the time out of your own day to say something so sweet to me, with nothing to gain or show from it, just because you care, means so very much to me. i know that i thank people effusively, because often i don't know what to say to express just how deeply grateful i am to you for being here and for being so kind. love u so very much, little guy!!

✉ Anonymous asked: send you love liv ❤️

sending u so so much love right back!!

✉ Anonymous asked: PLEASE MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF URSELF 🗣️‼️

✉ Anonymous asked: I HOPE U FEEL BETTER SOON 🙌

these asks came in within moments of each other and idk if i think it's cuter that they could be from the same person or if two random unrelated people out there in the big wide world both decided to yell lovely things at me at very nearly the exact same time