#please do not think that james does not love and cherish lily every day because he does i promise

[oh-phoenixx]

"Albus Dumbledore" (this one got away from me a little bit and isn't massively alligned with the prompt) - @into-the-jeggyverse - 897 words

@abductedhiko

-

Harry wrote home to James one day in his sixth year, saying that he and Dumbledore had attempted to find one of Voldemort’s Horcruxes, but that he’d discovered it was a fake. He wrote as well of Dumbledore’s death at Snape’s hand. It didn’t even occur to James at first, to be angry at Snape, or to grieve the loss of his old headmaster. No, James’s first instinct was the rage that burned in the pit of his stomach, that made his hands shake and drop the letter, that made everything but Dumbledore’s manipulation irrelevant to him. His sixteen-year-old had been dragged along, into a situation where he could have very possibly lost his life. Some very quiet, almost cruel part of James, was glad that Dumbledore had died. 

James had already known that the Horcrux was fake, and yet was not even consulted before his son was put in that position. He had known it was fake, and known every detail of that god-forsaken cave as though he had been there himself. He had known it like a dull ache consuming his body since he was nineteen years old. Since his ex-boyfriend had sent him a letter which he’d very nearly thrown in the fire. But James could never have ignored Regulus, no matter how long it had been since they’d broken up and no matter how much he was disgusted by Regulus’s choices. 

My dear Jamie,

I know that long ago now you will have given up on me. I know that the things I have done, you would consider repulsive. This is no confession of coercion. I had a choice and I made it. That is not to say that I have not regretted it every day since. I chose my family over you, I chose the Dark Lord, and I wish I hadn’t. 

I understand that you will never forgive me for becoming a Death Eater. I do not expect you to. But I couldn’t die knowing you thought me your enemy until the very end. There has not been a day since I took that mark that I have not wished I took your hand instead. My love, if there are alternate universes, I will fight in every single other to be yours, to make up for the cruelty I have chosen in this one. 

I intend to have Kreacher deliver you this letter, only once I have accomplished my goal. If you think to come and save me, I promise you it is not possible. I am making this choice as I made the last. I only hope this one would make you prouder. 

If this goes wrong, as I suspect it will, Kreacher will tell you what I have done when he delivers this. I am sending a letter to you, and only you. Please do not tell Sirius. Let him think I died the spitting image of our parents. It will hurt him less.

I leave no will. I care nothing for my worldly possessions. Just know that I am yours; body, soul, all of it.

Goodbye, James.

R. A. B.

James had read and reread this letter. It didn’t matter that he had memorised it, that he knew every word. He would read it regardless, if only to see Regulus’s handwriting, if only to know that in his last moments he still thought of James. 

And, of course, James had moved on. He loved Lily, loved Harry even more. But his dreams still played like altered memories; James and Regulus curled up, Regulus’s calming voice reading poetry aloud to him; or, James and Regulus stargazing in the Astronomy tower, Regulus naming every star while James was only concerned with looking at him, the only one that ever mattered. James knew these moments had really happened, but in the dreams they were…different. James could see wrinkles on Regulus’ forehead and cheeks, flecks of grey amidst the man’s black hair. In these dreams, Regulus had never taken the mark, he had never felt that he had anything to make up for, he had never tried to play the hero. He had lived, and that would always be enough for James.

James thought of Regulus every single day. He yearned for this dream-Regulus, this soft and older version of the boy he had loved and continued to love. And he felt guilty every day, too, for wanting this when he already had a perfect family. Why could he not feel entirely content with that?

When Harry came home that summer, looking more broken and exhausted than ever before, James sat him down and told him of who R. A. B. really was. Lily, though she looked conflicted, rubbed his back comfortingly as he spoke. 

“You…You knew that the real Horcrux was gone?” Was the first thing that Harry asked. 

“Not just gone, Harry,” James said softly. “Destroyed. Regulus…Regulus destroyed it before he died.”

James hid his bitterness, hid his anger towards Dumbledore. He was dead now, and there was nothing James could do about it anymore. Which of the two dead men ‘he’ was, James was unsure. 

Neither James or Harry ended the conversation feeling any lighter. If anything, James’s grief and wrath seemed to crowd the room as he spoke of them. James was happy about this, in some twisted way. All around them was where Regulus deserved to be.

[throwaway3844893]

Imagine: An old Newt Scamander hears of the birth of a former student, James Potter’s, son.

July 31, 1980. Owls arrived at nearly every doorstep in Godric's Hollow, but one owl had a much more strenuous journey. It was to fly all the way to a little cottage in Dorset for an old author to receive. It was a particularly sunny morning, only a few clouds dotting the sky, and the grass around the home was green as ever. Flowers planted ever-so-carefully by the woman who resided in the cottage bloomed and decorated the pathway in brilliant purples and reds, and a lone tree towered over the home, a small swing attached to a branch swaying gently in the breeze. Through a window, the owl saw the woman scrubbing a number of dishes, the window open to let the cool summer air in, the small curtains dancing. The owl hooted, and the woman looked up, smiling before sidestepping to allow the bird in. He flapped in quickly, perching on a mantelpiece to allow the woman to untie the strings attached to the letter from his foot. She did so carefully, the thick envelope set aside as she strode over to a jar and pulled out a few treats for the owl. She fed them to him carefully, whispering her thanks as he took off and flew back out, journeying back to the mailstation where he'd deliver more letters.

The woman observed the parchment, pressed carefully with a seal she didn't recognize. It was addressed to her husband, Newt, who was resting in a rocking chair in their sitting room, a mug of tea in his hand. "Darling," She started, scanning the name of the sender. "You've received a letter."

Newt chuckled in disbelief. "A letter? At my old age? Dear, you know those ended ages ago when Rubeus and I chose to conduct our meetings at Hogwarts." Rubeus Hagrid was an old admirer of Newt, and he'd received excited letters from the boy ever since the early 1940s, when he'd started school. Newt was particularly fond of him, because like him, Rubeus was expelled from Hogwarts for something he couldn't control. Newt was ecstatic when Rubeus started working at Hogwarts, happy that Albus Dumbledore, his old professor, had shown the student mercy and welcomed him back to the school.

His wife shook her head. "No, it's from an, erm, James Potter."

Newt sat up abruptly, a few papers falling off his lap. He recognized the name: James was a former student of his. A rambunctious pupil, he was always stirring up trouble, but Newt admired the spunk of the boy. He'd graduated from Hogwarts a few years prior, taking residence with the muggleborn Lily Evans. Newt was particularly fond of her. She was the top of her class and a rather sophisticated girl. Her and James were a perfect match. Lily straightened him out, while James encouraged her to let loose. They complimented each other perfectly. "How strange," Newt mused, staring at the fireplace. "I've not heard from him since his graduation. What does it say?"

The woman passed over the letter, and he appreciatively took the paper. "Thank you, Tina," He mumbled. Breaking the seal, he slid the top of the thick envelope over and withdrew the loose parchment inside. The letter was long, but the handwriting was scribbled hastily, providing a sense of urgency. Newt wondered whatever the matter must be. He saw that the text at the top changed with who was reading it. Newt marveled at the excellent charm that must've brought on. It had to have been Lily's idea. Unfolding it, he read:

Professor Scamander,

I am pleased to inform you of the birth of Lily and I's son, Harry James Potter, on July 31. Everything went smoothly, Lily and Harry are resting as I write this. Harry is perfect. He has Lily's eyes, but my hair. I'm sure it'll be as unruly as mine, though Lily won't admit it... perhaps her intelligence will pass onto him. We both know I wasn't the greatest student!

I can't possibly explain the happiness that accompanied the birth of my first son. It was as if I fell in love all over again, but twice. I didn't think I could love Lily any more than I already did, and Harry, he's my entire world. I will do anything I can to protect him from the evils we face.

My apologies I didn't tell you sooner. I was troubled with the idea of even sending this letter out. You-Know-Who is out there, and I don't want to endanger our son. Padfoot is here to protect us, as are Wormtail and Moony, but caution is to be taken with every step.

Harry is already showing signs of the magic in his blood. It's astounding. Of course, he bewitched us as soon as we saw him, but I'm talking about true magic. I half-believe he sent something flying across the room when he was taken out of Lily's arms for the first time. He feels safest with her and I. There's also his seemingly unharmful devotion to Padfoot. Lily and I are more than pleased he's comfortable with him, but Lily is a bit apprehensive. She knows about the trouble he and I got into back in the day. She worries we'll pass that on to Harry... (We will). The day he lays his hands on the invisibility cloak, well, that's something I do look forward too. We'll be unbeatable during hide-and-seek.

Times are uncertain, but we are doing everything in our power to protect Harry. He has given us a little hope in these dark times.

I wish you well,

James Potter

Newt set down the letter and wiped his eyes. He'd gotten a bit misty-eyed following the news from a prior student. He was surprised James had thought to write to him. "What was it about?" Tina asked, placing a hand on Newt's chair.

Newt placed the letter on a side table and sighed. "James Potter and Lily Evans had a child, Harry. He was born only a few days ago," He explained, and his wife looked at him appreciatively, remembering the birth of their own children. She kissed his forehead and squeezed his shoulders.

"Well, I suppose you should write back and congratulate him. It would mean a lot to hear from a professor," Tina suggested, and Newt nodded, removing a quill from its holder and producing a piece of parchment. Tina walked to their bookcase and pulled out an old, dusty novel, sitting in her own chair and beginning to read it. Newt leaned over the side of the chair and began writing a response to James.

James,

Tina and I congratulate you and Lily on the birth of your son! What a wonderful boy he must be. I don't doubt he will do great things. Having taught both of you, I know the talents you passed down to him. He will be rambunctious, sure, but witty as well. He'll have the best of both worlds.

You and Lily will make wonderful parents. Cherish the small moments, because he'll be grown in an instant. Soon you'll be running him to King's Cross and receiving letters from his first Hogsmeade trip.

Though I will not be his professor, Rubeus Hagrid makes an amazing teacher. He is just as knowledgeable as I, with a heart pure as gold. I hope Harry shares the same compassion for magical creatures as we do.

Stay safe and stay well.

Newt Scamander

[roseskiesandbutterflies]

Killer Queen - Chapter 10: Dreamers Ball

Summary: Life is easy when things go your way. I know this from experience. I also know that that can disappear in an instant and that you have to be able to rely on your friends. Luckily my name is Arabella Ruth White and I’m the fifth marauder. But I want to show you the girl behind the mask. It takes a lot of work to be this fabulous, darling. (This story is also on Wattpad and AO3 of the same name.)

A/N: So, I recently binge-read all of Lore Olympus on Webtoons and if you haven’t read it, then I highly recommend it. It’s about the Greek Gods (mainly Persephone and Hades) but it deals with some mature themes just to warn you. The chapter title comes from Queen’s 1978 album, Jazz.

Warning(s): alcohol, drugs, swearing, implied sex

Word Count: 4.3k+ (this was one word off of being 4400 words so that’s annoying)

Inspiration: random headcanons I found on Tumblr and Pinterest, The Boy Who Killed God by SeraMGrigori on AO3, All The Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 on AO3, Sweet Things by Cocomouse on AO3

Taglist: @bhmay @briarrose26

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Throwing a birthday ball might just have been my best idea thus far, if I did say so myself, and it hadn’t even started yet. I was gradually walking through the doors of the Great Hall, embracing my dramatic entrance for every little millisecond that it was worth. All eyes were on me, as they should be since it was my birthday and I bloody love attention, and suddenly I understood what brides must feel like when they walk down the aisle. The train of my sparkling golden gown trailed along behind me, leaving a stream of glitter in my wake. It had been both a style choice and a way to infuriate Filch when he had to clean it up. Have fun with that, you miserable bastard. The Great Hall was decorated from top to bottom in gold, gold streamers, gold glitter, gold balloons. It was akin to the Emerald City from The Wizard Of Oz but, well, gold. Anyone who was anyone was among the crowd watching me, providing they were at least a fifth year; I didn’t want little kids at my birthday party, thank you very much. The only ones I would even consider would be Rhea and Luke, but they weren’t at Hogwarts yet and right now, I was grateful for that. As far as I could see, everyone had a glass of amber-coloured liquid in their hand, which I assumed was butterbeer for the far majority of people in the hall. Some minuscule part of me wanted to squirm under all of the attention, but I suppressed it as best as I could. I had a reputation to keep up, after all.

You may be wondering how on earth I got access to the Great Hall for my birthday party, and honestly, I can’t blame you for pondering such a thing. It had been a complete stroke of luck which had come in the form of good old Minnie McGee. I’d been explaining my plan for the ball to the lads during one breakfast back in September, yes my plans for it have been in the works for that long what are you going to do about it, and Minnie had overhead while she was walking past our usual spot. I’m quite sure she has some kind of hearing superpower, even though that particular sense should be decaying with her old age rather than growing. And just in case you’ve somehow found this, naturally, I mean no offence, Minerva, so please don’t give me another detention I really don’t want one please and thank you. She’d then gone on to offer the Great Hall for the party but with three conditions. One, she could go and bring Dumbledore as her ‘date’, two, we served nothing stronger than butterbeer and three, we actually worked hard for our OWLs which were just around the corner. Initially, we all thought that she was joking but it turned out that she was deadly serious (naturally Sirius had interrupted her with his classic pun) and that she was, in fact, rather looking forward to going to a party for the first time in a while. James had then asked if she was on drugs, because quite frankly this was one of the nicest things she had ever done for us, and she came very close to whacking him upside the head for even suggesting such a thing. But she never actually denied it, so I still secretly think she does weed. I don’t know about you, but I can most certainly see it.

Now, as you’d expect, I was rather disappointed at Minnie’s suggestion of a near total absence of alcohol, but it hadn’t been long before Sirius, always searching for an excuse to drink to the point where I often wondered if he was addicted, had suggested something quite marvellous: an afterparty. Such a seemingly straightforward idea quickly turned into something so much more. We decided to hold it later on in the night in the Room of Requirement, and only the elite people knew about it and, subsequently, invited. And by ‘elite’, I mean the male specimens I call friends, the females who I love and cherish and a couple of other people. And that was bound to be very much alcohol-fuelled. As long as I had that to look forward to, I could endure a much more age-appropriate evening, just not for too long.

Finally, I reached the platform where the teachers would usually sit during meals, and bear in mind that I had been milking the moment for way longer than necessary, so this did take some time. I cleared my throat for effect before speaking in an impossibly posh voice, “Thank you all for attending my ball this evening. I won’t talk for too long because I would hate to bore you to tears, I’ll leave that job to Professor Binns. Now, Minnie, don’t look at me like that, we all know it’s true. Look, even Dumbledore agrees with me and you can’t argue with Dumbledore. Moving on, I would like to say a couple of things so entertain me for a moment. One, if any of you are caught drinking anything stronger than butterbeer, then I will happily leave you to face the wrath of our dear Minerva on your own, I have no intention of arguing with any teacher tonight.” A few giggles rippled throughout the crowd as well as a few pouty faces from people who were doing a shockingly awful job at hiding mini bottles of firewhiskey behind their backs. It wasn’t my problem, I did say this on the invites I sent out, if they chose to go against that then they would deal with the consequences, not me. I continued, “Two, I hope you all enjoy yourselves tonight and remember, it ends at precisely eleven o’clock, which means don’t hang around. Frank and Alice, I’m looking at you.” The couple in question blushed furiously and Alice gave me a death stare that could rival the one I get from Remus when I gather enough courage to steal some of his chocolate. I then clapped twice to signal the official start of the ball and music began to blast from the speakers I’d linked up to my record player which was enchanted to start playing a record whenever I clapped my hands.

It took a second, but people were soon dancing and mingling and doing whatever else people do at parties. I made a beeline straight for the boys but ignored their greetings, instead, I grabbed two, I wasn’t sure which ones, and, hoping that they were all following if they weren’t being dragged, marched over to the drinks table. I let go of whoever I had been holding to pour myself a much-needed butterbeer, but in a wine glass because I’m classy like that, leaving two boys to rub their arms in pain.

“Bloody hell, Ruth, you could have just asked us to come with you, that really wasn’t necessary,” Remus muttered as he got his own drink.

“Why is your grip that damn strong?” James pouted, whining like the little child that he is.

Sirius just smirked evilly, “I think we all know where she gets her practice with her grip.”

Naturally, I wasn’t going to have that, so I swatted him on the arm as if he was a fly, but then I decided that that just wasn’t enough, so I kicked him in the shin. Not too hard because I was feeling nice for some strange reason, but you get the idea. He then howled suspiciously like a dog, causing us all to give him strange looks that pretty much read dude what the fuck.

Sirius, then desperate to change the subject to literally anything else, went on to ask, “Ruth, are Snivellus and his mates supposed to be here? Because I don’t have a problem with physically throwing them out,” he shrugged.

I sighed, knowing my response wasn’t going to be immensely popular amongst the group. I muttered quietly, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes, “I invited them.” As expected, I was met with outcries and protests from the cloud of testosterone surrounding me, such as but they’re such pricks and why would you want to infect your own party with the human equivalent of the goddamn plague, so I was quick to defend myself, “I didn’t want to! It’s just that Lily said that she wouldn’t go if I didn’t at least give Snivellus the option. But then I worried that he’d hang around Lily the whole time, and I wasn’t going to allow that, so I invited a couple of his friends too. I didn’t think they’d actually show up though,” I peered over Peter’s shoulder to observe him talking to Lily, grimacing at his choice of outfit if you could even call that monstrosity an outfit. I’d specified in the invites that you had to wear muggle ballgown-wear and you had to make it yourself using magic. I guess blood supremacists don’t even want to wear muggle-style clothes these days. They really are that shallow and it surprised me how Lily couldn’t see that.

Sirius huffed and made a comment that sounded like it should have come from James’s mouth instead of his, “Fine, but only because Lily is a treasure and I’m also terrified to death of her.” When he was met with blank stares for the second time in five minutes, he blushed furiously, only just clocking what he had just revealed.

I smirked at him, “Since when were you such good friends with my dear Lily?”

It was just a widely accepted fact that the girls weren’t huge fans of the boys, and while those attitudes weren’t reciprocated by the other side, it was practically unheard of for the girls to be anything more than civil with the boys. Well, only if you don’t count Lily and Remus’s strange friendship. I’d often promoted a union of sorts between my two friendship groups, holding out in my firm belief that some epic bonds could be formed if they just tried, but I was usually shot down with objections of but they’re arrogant toe rags. I think that that’s complete and utter bullshit but each to their own, I guess. I just carried on in the hope that one day they’d come round and see how silly they were being.

While James was appearing to have a mental breakdown right there and then, Sirius slowly explained, “Since a couple of weeks ago? I went down to the common room because I couldn’t sleep and I found Lily and she looked quite upset, so I asked her what was wrong, thinking she would just tell me to piss off or something, but she just burst into tears and she told me a lot of stuff that I won’t tell you because I think it’s private. Anyway, long story short, we had a rather profound conversation at two in the morning, followed by a couple of games of chess because neither of us wanted to go back to bed. We’ve had some rather thought-provoking conversations in Charms because we sit next to each other this year. She’s actually really cool.”

I grinned broadly at him, “This is what I’ve been trying to tell you for four whole years!” We then high-fived because why the fuck not. Remus gave us a look of wholehearted betrayal, which is understandable because he had been assisting me in my quest to get them to appreciate Lily properly, so I gave him a high-five too, and so did Sirius. Then Peter and James high-fived for no reason other than they were feeling left out, as they should be. So, we all looked like fucking crackheads already but that was to be expected of us.

“Anyway, just because Sniv is allowed to be here, doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to fight him the second he does something fucked up, right?” Sirius asked.

“You and I both know you’ll fuck him up regardless of whether I allow it or not, so yes, yes you can. In fact, please do.”

***************

By around midnight we were drunk off our asses in the Room of Requirement, the civilisation of the ball long gone. It was total carnage, although you probably worked that one out for yourself, but it wasn’t all bad seeing as my two friend groups don’t try to murder each other every five seconds when under the influence of my lovely friend alcohol. Most of us were sprawled out on various sofas, still in our ball attire, with Hunky Dory playing on my record player at a much lower volume because our drunk asses couldn’t deal with too much noise. I was lying on a sofa with my head in Marlene’s lap and my feet in Dorcas’s while James and Peter shared a sofa. Alice and Frank were, as I had predicted earlier on, making out in some darkened corner, thinking that they were being subtle because no one was gawping at them. In reality, the only reason we all refused to look was because they were being more than a bit gross and no one wanted to see that, to be frank. Pun absolutely intended. Dorcas didn’t drink because of her religion, which meant she was the only sober one in the room, and that meant it was her job to make sure we didn’t get ourselves killed or anything like that. Lily was actually a bit tipsy, but only due to Sirius’s incessant nagging that she was missing out on the finer things in life. I mean there were certainly finer things than knock-off elf wine we smuggled in from Hogsmeade, but Lily didn’t need to know that. Meanwhile, Sirius was stumbling on a table he’d conjured for this exact reason, wearing Marlene’s stiletto heels and ranting about society’s many problems as he usually did when drunk. Tonight’s topic was for discussion was feminism.

“But why is the world like this? We shouldn’t just accept it for how it is! Shouldn’t we try and change it or something?” he slurred, finishing his drink and promptly refilling it with his wand. Several amens could be heard from almost everyone in the room, as is what happened every time Sirius made a point. It was strongly reminiscent of the church service my mum would drag me along to from time to time.

“Sirius, not that I don’t agree with you, but maybe you should get down before you break your neck?” Lily suggested, looking at him in sheer terror.

He just pouted down at her, “I will only get down when the patriarchy falls, and you girls don’t have to live in fear of boys who have the audacity to call themselves men!”

“If a boy comes anywhere near me, I’ll just smack him round the face, I don’t give a shit,” I piped up, swinging my hand around as if I was actually punching someone, and coming very close to actually hitting Marlene in the face.

“That’s alright though because self-defence and shit,” James grinned at me, running over to clink his glass against mine, then running back to his sofa and sitting down as if nothing happened, leaving me confused, to say the least.

“Has anyone seen Remus?” Sirius suddenly changed the subject. When all he got in response was shrugs and confused looks, he started walking up and down the table like it was a catwalk, shouting, “Remus! Remus, where are you, you little shit? Remu-” he suddenly fell straight off of the table but stood up and brushed himself off as if he hadn’t just nearly died, “Reeeeeeemuuuuuuuus!”

“I think he’s with Idania. I don’t know where though,” Peter offered.

Marlene and I gave each other a knowing look and bumped arms, “I think we all know what they’re getting up to,” she raised an eyebrow at me suggestively.

“Ooooooh, Remus you saucy boy,” I snorted, making James cackle so much that he fell off of his chair and also making Lily fake-vomit so much that I was seriously expecting her to actually throw up right there and then.

I think it’s important to update you on the whole Idania-Remus situation. It’s been a tricky one, I won’t lie to you about that. They only started talking again a couple of days ago, making it nearly three weeks of silent treatment from both parties. Even I thought that that was a bit much, and we all know that I can be a dramatic little shit at the best of times. After copious amounts of persuasion from us, way more than would have been necessary if he wasn’t a stubborn bastard, a rather miserable Remus had finally apologised for some things he’d said in the heat of the argument that he hadn’t really meant. He didn’t disclose exactly what he’d said, but I have to be honest, I was just glad that he got over himself and talked to her because it was painful to sit behind them in History of Magic while they were being that damn ridiculous. Not only had he said that he was sorry, but he’d wanted to do something for her to show her how sorry he was. He’d done some research, which meant he’d spent twelve hours straight in the library. James, forever the mother hen of the group, was far from pleased to find out that he’d missed two whole meals, so naturally, that had led to him lecturing poor Remus on the importance of eating properly. He argued that that it doesn’t matter that it’s for love, you need to eat, for Merlin’s sake, which was saying something when you remember how James was a closeted romantic himself. He’d eventually found a spell that was a variant on the translation spells Peter was rather fond of for uncomplicated pranks. Usually with those spells, you speak whatever you mean to say in English, but when it comes out, everyone hears the language you’re cursed to speak. This one, however, worked with sign language; he would say what he wanted to say, and his hands would automatically sign what he’s saying. It didn’t solve everything, he still had to keep studying the language so he could understand Idania, but it was a sure start, and a massive help for the both of them. According to Remus when he’d returned to tell us how it went, she’d been so grateful that she’d almost started crying, though she denied it every time we asked her about it.

While I had been simultaneously amusing and horrifying my friends with mental images of Remus doing unholy things, Sirius had been on a mission to find him, and seemed to have returned triumphant. At some point, he must have left the room even though I had no memory of seeing him leave, as he was now dragging Remus behind him by the hand, who was dragging Idania somewhat gentler. “I found them!” he proclaimed with a stupid grin on his face, in a way similar to how a child would announce such a thing.

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock,” Peter muttered with no actual malice behind his words.

“You’re welcome, Pete,” Sirius bowed but then stumbled forwards, crashing headfirst onto the ground. He didn’t bother getting up, choosing to sit cross-legged on the floor once he got his bearings.

Lily plonked herself down next to him and gazed at him quizzically, “Why are you saying, ‘you’re welcome’, when you’re the one who wanted to know where they were?”

He covered her mouth with his hand to prevent her from speaking, “Shhh, Lily-flower, shhh.”

She scowled at him while Marlene mouthed ‘Lily-flower’ at me in confusion. I just shrugged, desperately trying not to laugh at James who was clearly dying of embarrassment while trying to hide from Lily. We once heard him murmur the nickname in his sleep during our second year, and even though he hasn’t said it since, we refused to let him forget it. Lily must have licked Sirius’s hand or something for he retracted his hand as quickly as he would if he’d had an electric shock, wiping it on his trousers while staring at her in disgust and betrayal. Lily didn’t show an inch of sympathy towards his pain.

“So, what were you two actually doing?” Dorcas asked, directing the conversation back to Idania and Remus.

Idania smirked evilly and looked up at Remus, looking awfully glad that she didn’t have to be the one to explain. I still thought they hooked up finally, but Remus didn’t look nearly as mortified as I imagined he would.

Remus opened his mouth to speak but Lily cut him off, “I can smell weed.”

“How the fuck do you of all people know what weed smells like?” I laughed.

She glared at me in a way that had me quaking in my heels, “Please, you know what Cokeworth’s like, so you can trust me when I say I know what weed smells like.” I had to give it to her, that town wasn’t exactly the poshest in the UK, and I would know seeing as I used to live in the damn place.

We locked eyes for a second, then slowly looked up at Remus and Idania’s slightly guilty but overall chilled-out faces.

Well shit.

Once it clicked in my head as to what they had been doing, I started giggling uncontrollably for a good minute, and everyone else started looking at me really worriedly. I can’t say I blamed them if I’m honest, I did look like something of a lunatic. I quickly put the spell that Remus had found on myself, suddenly feeling really bad that Idania probably didn’t have much of an idea of what had just been said.

“Idania, how dare you corrupt our sweet, innocent Remus?” I laughed, shaking my head like a disapproving parent.

“Excuse you, Remus hasn’t been innocent since before he met us,” James grinned lopsidedly.

“I wasn’t that innocent before I met you,” the boy in question tried to defend himself, only to be met with about seven people saying, ‘you were’.

“Anyway, that’s beside the point. The point is you smoked weed?” I asked incredulously.

“Don’t look at me like that!” he said, “It’s not that big of a deal, no one really cares about that kind of thing these days, well not in the muggle world at least. Live a little, Ruth.”

“That doesn’t make it any less weird that it’s coming from you, mate,” James shook his head.

“But here’s the question nobody else is brave enough to ask, apparently,” Marlene raised a finger and then pointed it at the couple, “Is it nice? And if so, may we have some?”

Most of us, excluding Dorcas and Lily, made some sort of noise of agreement to which Remus just laughed, “Well, it’s Idania’s, not mine, so it’s up to her really…” he trailed off, leaving his girlfriend to make up her mind.

I didn’t actually know much sign language, except for the odd word or phrase I’d picked up (naturally fuck off was on of them), but whatever Idania had signed in response put a devilish smirk on Remus’s face that was all too familiar, “I think that’s a yes, just not too much. Ida doesn’t think you’ll be able to handle it.” The girl in question lightly breathed through her nose, which I’d come to learn was her laugh.

I gaped at her with mock outrage on my face, “I am offended but at least I’ll get to try some, right?”

A couple of blunts went round during the next however long we were high for, while Lily and, to some extent, Dorcas looked on disapprovingly. I think it’s safe to say that the concept of time was non-existent for the rest of the night. I have to say it was one of the most relaxing yet insane experiences I’ve ever had, and it wasn’t long until long after it had worn off did I start to wonder how Idania had access to that kind of thing. She must have been even more of a badass than we first thought.

When I had first started holding parties like these last year, I had made an offer to Dorcas which had involved me making drinks that had no alcohol in them but still had the same effect. She’d been grateful for the suggestion, but she’d pointed out that doing that kind of defeats the whole point of not drinking alcohol in the first place. We’d then settled on making non-alcoholic drinks that still tasted like their alcoholic counterparts but had no effect whatsoever, and we were constantly trying different recipes. Word caught soon after we started, and our non-alcoholic drinks were in almost as high demand as the alcoholic black market I’d created with the boys. They proved to be popular among students who either didn’t want to or weren’t allowed to drink, but didn’t want to miss out on a party or something like that, as well as older students who needed a form of stress relief from their exams, but didn’t want to develop some kind of addiction. I couldn’t blame them, seeing as they used to drink a lot as a really unhealthy coping mechanism. I’d much rather they drink something else, so I was glad to have been of service. As you can imagine, the business really boomed around springtime.

“You know, trying to keep track of you all is like herding a load of cats,” she huffed, taking a sip of her not-quite-firewhiskey.

“Hey, Dorcas,” I mumbled in the most serious voice I could muster, which was quite the feat considering I was both drunk and high at that point. She leaned in to listen, only to hear me say, “Meow.”

Her brows furrowed sceptically, “Meow?”

I nodded, not breaking my composure though I desperately wanted to just dissolve into giggles like a child, “Meow. Because you said we’re cats.”

Dorcas sighed with a resigned look on her face,” Sure, Ari.”

A chorus of meows sounded throughout the room, much to Dorcas’s confusion and exasperation. I could only imagine what it must be like to have to deal with all of us unaided when we were like this.

A/N: By the way, I’m not trying to promote the use of drugs, personally I think things like marijuana should be decriminalised but that’s a story for another day. Just to remind you, this is set in 1975 at the moment, which means that drugs were more common, and more people did things like weed. It makes more sense when you consider the context. Also, they’re only human, shit like this happens.

[stargirlrchive]

The Things You Said

James Potter x Reader

masterlist ; prompts (request open)

disclaimer: none, slightly angsty, fluffy ending 

word count : 2636

Every time I walked into the Order meetings I would feel my hands clamming up, today was no different. I hadn’t spoken to any of my friends since leaving Hogwarts and that was mainly because I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as James. Every meeting before today I had been lucky with not running into them, but I had a feeling today would be the day that my luck would run out.

I was right; as soon as I walked in I caught sight of the wide shoulders and dark brown hair standing close to 3 other men and talking rapidly amongst themselves.

I quickly scanned the room and my made my way towards the group of members that had been recruited at the same time I was.

Just because they were here did not mean I had to acknowledge any of them. Things had ended rather awkwardly between the five of us, and I had no reason to apologize.

As I made my way deeper into the seating area I could feel heavy stares on my left and my pace quickened lightly.

Once I had greeted the majority of the people in the room I made my way towards the more deserted part of the seating area and waited for the meeting to begin.

Out of instinct and because the stares felt so heavy I looked up and was met with the 4 of them staring at me intensely. I raised my brow at them and that did exactly what I did not want to happen. As if they had rehearsed for this to happen all of them began making their way towards me and I could feel the nerves building up in the pit of my stomach. Had they always been so intimidating?

They quickened their pace, probably thinking I’d run, I really wanted to run. They were crowding around me and before I knew it Sirius tangled himself around me.

“Padfoot we said we’d ease our way into this!”

I pushed him off me quickly as Remus pulled him away from me. My cheeks burned in embarrassment, this was a professional setting and I knew the older members questioned just what good we would be for the Order in the long run, and these random gestures of affection would not help the case.

“Sorry, we just hadn’t heard from you in so long. Didn’t know if anything happened to you or if you were okay. The (Y/N) I knew never went a day without checking in.”

At his statement I tensed up, “Yeah well I’m not the same person as before.” The frown that etched into James’ face had me glaring at them lightly.

James hand had made its way onto my lower back and I quickly moved away from him, my skin burning from his touch and the memories flooded my mind.

The hurt was evident on his face and before I could stop myself the words rolled off my tongue, “No-you don’t get to be hurt. You’re the one that used and humiliated me just so you could get a reaction out of Evans. I trusted you and you knew just what I felt for you and you used it to your advantage.”

He had turned slightly pink as some of the order members had turned to stare at the commotion. Before he could respond to what I had said I walked away from the four of them and back to the members I worked with.

-

It was nearing the end of our 7th year and the crush I had harbored on my bespectacled best friend had grown into something much bigger. I could feel my cheeks heating up as his hand squeezed my thigh, his lips pressed to my temple as Sirius, Remus, and Peter talked about their next ‘mission’, and by mission they meant prank.

I could hear James snickering as I drew myself closer to him, his hand sliding off my thigh. “Come off it (Y/N) you know you love it.”

“It’s quite a surprise how that big head of yours doesn’t weigh you down, Prongs.”

He glared at the boys as they laughed at the comment and while they distracted him I got up to slip away.

His animal instincts intact as he caught my wrist, quickly pulling me back to where I was, my thigh just barely above his lap.

“James, people already hate me for befriending you four, imagine if they saw us like this. Your fan club would actually go for my head.”

His arms wrapped around my waist to keep me in place and I locked eyes with Sirius, silently asking for his help.

“C’mon on, Prongs. Let (Y/N) go.”

I sent him a smile of gratitude and James arms loosened around me and I removed myself from him.

“I’ll see you later tonight?”

I shook my head no, “I have prefect duties around the time curfew is over and you’re going to be sleeping in the head-boys room. Merlin knows Evans despises when I’m over.”

“Does it make you jealous I’m with her all the time?”

I scoffed quietly, “James I told you I fancied you so you can help me get over it, not so you could try and see how far you push me.”

He smiled sheepishly and I rolled my eyes, “Bye boys!”

They all bid me goodbye and I made my way to my dormitory, finishing up class work before I had rounds.

-

The few weeks we had of Hogwarts came bearing down quickly, with the ever present pressure of what we were to do after leaving and which side we would be fighting on. There was a war brewing and as much as we tried ignoring it we couldn’t, no one knew when or where it was taking place but we all knew it was coming soon.

So our last few days of school were cherishing them with our friends and professors because we’d never again have the safety of Hogwarts as students. So when I made my way to the boys’ dormitory to spend time with them and I stumbled upon James talking about me it was not a surprise, in fact I knew they all did. They kept an eye on me at all times, they had proclaimed they thought of me as a younger sister, when I was in fact older than all of them except Sirius, and as older brother duties they needed to make sure I kept myself in check and no one tried their hand at being cheeky.

However it was the conversation that had my heart aching and left a bitter taste in my mouth.

“Moony just listen to me! It’s just so Lily can finally see she likes me. We’re leaving Hogwarts soon and Merlin only knows if I’ll ever see her again.”

“Is she really worth risking a friendship with someone who has been by your side for the past 6 almost 7 years James?”

The silence was Remus’ answer as he murmured angrily, “You are unbelievable, James! Do you know how hurt (Y/N) would be if she found out that you were trying to kiss her just to get a reaction out of Lily?”

I could feel my throat tightening as I hoped I had misunderstood Remus.

“You said it yourself Moony, she’s been with me through everything! She’ll understand.”

I swallowed the burning sensation down, walking away quietly to try and gather my thoughts.

-

It had been a few hours since I overheard Remus and James’ argument. Choosing to seclude myself in the safety of the girls’ dormitory.

I had decided that if James decided to not go through with his plan I would ignore it because he realized it was wrong. If he did go through with it I’d cut ties with him, though that left me even more on edge as the thought that he’d exploit my feelings for someone who never gave him the time of day was a possibility.

I was going to stay in bed for the rest of the afternoon but after being called numerous times down I decided I’d just go so they’d stop.

The four of them were sitting on the couch and I sat on the arm of it, keeping a distance from James.

“We’ve been calling you, why didn’t you come down?”

Remus was watching me closely and I sent him a small smile, “Just wanted to be alone.”

“(Y/N)?”

My head turned to James as his eyes scanned all over my face. “Can we take a walk? Have something I need to talk to you about.”

I could hear Remus sighing quietly and the lump in my throat began to form as I nodded, the pit of my stomach willing me not to go because I knew what was next.

He grabbed my wrist quickly and the lump grew larger as I tried blinking back tears. We were heading in the direction of the Head Boy and Girls dormitory.

He had hauled me in and we sat on the couch, he continued with small talk and the normal amounts of affection just his touches would linger for a bit longer.

There was noise outside of the door and I knew Evans was going to walk in any moment. James must of realized it too because his face began inching closer to me, the door was hauled opened and I could hear footsteps approaching and when they were in the room they stopped abruptly, just as James lips were about to touch mine.

I could feel the shaky breath leave me as I pushed him away, “I can’t believe you, James.”

His eyes grew with confusion as I tried blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall.

I was up quickly and brushed passed Evans, trying to put as much space between James and I as possible.

I could hear his heavy footsteps behind me and as much as I quickened my pace he caught up to me.

His movements haltered when he turned me towards him and he noticed the tears that had managed to escape. I was hurt and embarrassed, angry with myself for feeling both when it was his fault.

“I didn’t mean to upset you, (Y/N). It was just a kiss, I didn’t plan for it to happen.”

The anger bubbled up inside me quickly as I glared at him, “Except that you did! You planned it all out so that Evans could what? Finally realized she felt something for you? Well I’ll tell you what, Potter. She felt nothing for you then and I’m pretty positive she feels nothing for you now!”

His eyes glossed over with panic as he tried keeping me in place, he began to stutter out an excuse, “Remus told you?”

“No you bloody idiot I over heard you, I heard those words come out your mouth and I hoped you’d come to your senses. You were going to use the fact I had feelings for you to get me to kiss you. You’re a vile person.”

He huffed quietly and I could tell he felt like crying, serves him right. “I never want to speak to you again, Potter. Do you understand me?”

I pushed him again but he stayed where he was, his tearful eyes locked onto me, finally realizing just what he had done. “Please don’t call me that. I’m James, not Potter that sounds like we aren’t friends.”

His voice was quivering softly and it made the words that slipped off my tongue that much harder, “It’s because we aren’t, not anymore.”

-

The last few days of Hogwarts I avoided them all completely. We graduated and I made sure they didn’t even get a glimpse of my shadow. Life must go on and I had given him the opportunity to break my heart once, I wasn’t going to give it to him again.

-

Dumbledore had a tendency to speak words into existence that people needed to hear. He warned us that the war was quickly approaching and if any broken relationships we had to mend, for we didn’t know what was to come or if we’d even survive.

I assumed the lot took it to heart because once the meeting was over they closed in on me again, keeping me in the middle of a circle.

“You know I could just apparate away?”

“But you haven’t yet, so that means something.”

I glared at James and quickly began apparating, his hand enclosed around me quickly as I left and I was puling him along too.

We had made it to the outside of the house I had been staying in and I angrily pushed him off of me, “Why are you following me, Potter? I guess you really don’t know when to leave a girl alone.”

“Low blow, (Y/N).”

“You know what else is a low blow? Trying to have your best friend kiss you when you know they have feelings for you so you can get a reaction out of someone you liked when they didn’t like you.”

He sighed quietly as I unlocked the door and quickly let myself in, leaving the door for him to decide what he wanted to do.

He followed me and waited timidly by the door, his eyes never leaving me as I began to relax into my home.

“I just want to apologize for doing that. My actions were not justifiable and I lost you over a schoolboy crush and you have no idea how much I regret that day. How angry the boys’ were with me for pushing you away from us and I deserved it all. I looked for you everywhere and you quite literally slipped off the face of the earth.”

I sighed quietly as I turned to face him, the sincerity clear as day on his face but a part of me still feared he’d toy with me, almost two years since leaving Hogwarts and I hadn’t managed to get over him.

He made his way towards me slowly, sensing my hesitation; “If you forgive me I’ll spend whatever amount of time trying to prove to you just how sorry I am.”

His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me in tightly, just as Sirius had a few hours ago.

All of the hurt I had been feeling slowly slipped away and I pulled him into a hug just as tight. His shaky breathe evening out as I nuzzled my head into his chest.

When we pulled away his hands cupped my face softly and I could feel my cheeks heating up as he stared intently at me, “When I took you into my dorm that night it wasn’t necessarily to make Evans jealous. That was just the excuse I told myself because I was confused. I found myself wanting to kiss you and she began to slip from my mind. If you think about it I used her to try and kiss you.”

I snorted quietly and his thumb traced over my bottom lip softly, “So are you going to kiss me? Or do I need to find someone else to do that for you?”

He huffed quietly but closed the space that was between us, his lips teasingly brushing against mine but not letting them fully press against mine, I huffed quietly and lightly tugged at the back of his hair.

He laughed quietly but quickly pressed his lips onto mine, his arms wrapping around me tighter as I bit down on his lip lightly as the kiss deepened.

We both pulled away, breathless and our cheeks burning profusely. 

“I’ve missed you.”

His forehead pressed against mine as our eyes locked onto each other, 

“I’ve missed you too doll.”

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