#please do come back as often as you like
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I am once again perched on your ceiling fan asking you about Non-Euclidean Nan Elmoth
The stranger returns, with two steaming mugs and some food laid out on a slim metal tray etched with flowers. It's more food than Laurefindelë would have expected him capable of preparing in the time he was gone. He sets the tray down on his desk and gives one of the mugs to Laurefindelë - the beverage is opaque and smells of cinnamon - and takes a long drink from the other.
“So,” he says, sitting down himself, “What were you doing in my woods, traveler?”
#HELLO UP THERE#i didn't know i had a ceiling fan#learn smth new every day#glorfindel#maeglin#gem writes#non euclidean nan elmoth#please do come back as often as you like#though i might suggest perching somewhere else#i don't know how structurally sound my imaginary ceiling fan is#oh also this is immediately after the previous thing#how long was goldilocks staring at that painting?#only maeglin knows!
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I feel fandom would get along a lot better if there was mutual understanding that liking a character, agreeing with a character, and thinking the character is well constructed/executed are all separate (if often overlapping) positions, each with their separate tastes and subjectivities. Also: character portrayals are intended to make the audience feel things; this is separate from (if often overlapping with) analyzing/appreciating their actions and role in the story.
#I would queue this because it's truly not character-specific#but there is always something happening with a character so that probably wouldn't help lol#anyway I'm making this nonrebloggable because I am not interested in the tomato throwing atmosphere out there#do not clown in bad faith on this post or in my inbox please I will just delete it#op#it's just over time I do see a pattern of like “I think X character was wrong in this” and some reactions being “you *hate* X character!”#or that if you like a character you *must* agree with them and/or have such a deep an endless compassion for their faults and mistakes#that it comes all the way back around to removing their agency because HOW could they do any different#and if you do not give them this grace then it is antithetical to you liking them or enjoying them or even just being neutral on them#when this is often not the case#like as an Essek and Jonas Spahr enjoyer their fuck-ups are very essential to why they have any sort of “grow as a person” arc#characters *have* to have texture and foibles or they are stagnant in the story - let your fave fuck up a bit! As a treat!#and lastly I'll just say that my point here is NOT that everyone is always positive or that haterism doesn't exist.#Some commentary just seems to happen at different frequencies from each other and it catalyzes more angst than it needs to
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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while aaravi remains firmly within "yeah miranda has a difficult personality and isn't very easy to get along with + has many rough edges which are slowly being worked on but still going to be an issue" after having been very much so within the camp that miranda is a Vexing Bitch upon first contact/getting to know her, she DOES go from "miranda is unpredictable and dangerous as a merfolk and large macropredator and her emotions are inscrutable and random" to "merfolk aren't very hard to understand or predict and it's very easy to stay on the safe side if you keep basic rules in mind and don't freak out the second something unexpected happens"
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#just. thinking about it!#thinking about specifically how merfolk (like most other animals) growl/hiss specifically as a deterrent#like if you start really upsetting miri and she wants space and you to Please Stop#she will probably turn her face away from the other person or turn her body away from them#while growling or hissing and pulling her fins back#and will open her mouth to bare her teeth or gape her mouth open to show her teeth (including heavily panting)#where the point is ''i will hurt you if you touch me/get closer/dont stop so please dont do that''#but a lot of people read it as her being either obtuse (if she turns away from them)#or outright aggressive for the showing of teeth and growling#when shes really not. shes being very polite in merfolk terms in giving multiple chances to avoid violence#shes going ''i am worried i might have to hurt you so please reconsider'' in a way thats very readable if youre another merfolk#who will then step away or give her her space and switch the tone of the conversation#to see whats wrong#whereas her being more deliberately aggressive/violent usually comes with minimal vocal cues at all#or (if shes specifically threatening someone such as in the case of getting aggressive over perceived threats to her social bonds)#she will often turn towards them and open her mouth and flare her fins#often deliberately closing the distance and making herself appear Extra Large#she WILL growl here but will never hiss (hissing being a more defensive sound)#and will often smack her tail against the ground or show her claws or otherwise demonstrate how large and how scary she is#as a deliberate point of ''you crossed a line and this is what is going to happen to you if you dont make it up right now''#which! both require VERY different responses but might look similar to a human!#and might end up coming off as unpredictable or random in her actions and cruelty!#when shes not! shes just doing things the way a merfolk does them#which means aaravi realizes VERY quickly after learning about all of this#just how many cues miranda gives that people are starting to make her uncomfortable and feel Not Okay#that are ignored or written off because theyre merfolk cues#merfolk are very tolerant of stress but have basically no concept of escalation of violence for that reason#because if youve ignored every chance to prevent something dangerous up until the point it goes too far
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just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3
Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.
#this comes with a big serious disadvantage though#it often takes me a long time to write that response#my social batteries are extremely small and a lot of the time by the time I go online I feel too worn out to engage with people properly#I'm autistic anxious and severely depressed my spoons are in short supply at the best of times#I've always had really hard time putting my thoughts into words in a way that I find satisfactory#so I keep putting off reblogging gift art#because most of the time my brain is too smushed to formulate that meaningful comment I want to give#maybe that sounds dumb and fake#but this is something I've struggled with for years and I feel extremely guilty for keeping people waiting like that#often weeks sometimes months even#and potentially making them feel underappreciated and unnoticed#I'm also genuinely very scatterbrained and unorganized and I miss and forget things I'm supposed to do all the time#not to mention that I tend to have trouble keeping track of my mentions and dms and asks I'm only one person#so if you've ever drawn something for me and I didn't/haven't responded yet#please know it's not personal it's entirely my fault I'm kind of a mess#and chances are I'm still very much attempting to get back to you#feel free to remind me if you feel like I might have not noticed your post I really don't mind at all it often helps me a lot#and please if you can don't delete the post even if it seems like I didn't see it#because again sometimes it takes me a long time to respond#thank you to everyone who has stayed endlessly patient with me though I appreciate it#sorry this spiraled into a list of apologies and excuses this is actually something that bothers me a lot#because it's largely a mental health thing but easily comes off as ungratefulness#I'm trying to work on that#answered#anonymous
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how do u draw so much so fast
well,
#the short answer is autism and ritalin. btw#the long answer is: i wake up anywhere between 730-0900. i draw. if i have work when i come back i go and i draw.#i go to bed anywhere between 0100 and 0230. i wake up the next day and i draw.#i dont draw fast and in fact i get distracted and/or procrastinate quite often#i just have 16 hour days! every day! i am awake for 16 hours! sometimes more depending on the general mood! [cursed emoji here]#and like! wtf do you even do at that point?? how do you fill a 16 hour day? an 110 hour week? an almost 6000 hr year?#i draw! i have been drawing *seriously* since grade 2! and i have *seriously* loved the persona series since like mid/late 2017!#for those of you keeping score at home; i am 19! 2017 was grade 7 for me! ive loved this series for almost a full third of my life!#[continued emotional rant cut for length] but this is my community and my arts been the way i interact with this community since#(looks at my blog archive) 2019 when i posted my first persona art! please dont look at any of that now tho lmao!#so i guess. if the long answer needs to be short too then the long answer is love!!!! its always been love!!!! AND ALSO STILL RITALIN!!!!!!#asks & requests#personal
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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Me normally: Let people love what they love
Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE
#Look it's fine that this show exists and people will watch it and like it and that's ok maybe it's just not for me#But that was like a statement purely designed to piss me off#There were lots of issues with the 1978 adaptation! I still vastly preferred the books any day!#And I actually initially had high hopes for the new one because they at least cast a Scot (albeit a Highlander not a Clydesider) as James#And the actors at least looked a little bit younger than Christopher Timothy and Robert Hardy#And thank god Helen actually sounds like she's a farmer's daughter and doesn't speak RP!#But from the half hour I've seen of it I've had to write off this new adaptation#For two major reasons#First of all there's Siegfried#Siegfried is one of the key central aspects of the vibe of the books and therefore key to any adaptation#Robert Hardy was too short and too old for the part but he lived and breathed the character#The twinkle in the eye bouncing off the walls and in and out of rooms followed by half a dozen dogs utterly full of life even when angry#But this new Siegfried is just sort of... Eeyore-esque; he comes into a room and you can see the flowers droop and the set turn grey#Siegfried was angry Siegfried was happy and the historical character he was based on was no stranger to melancholy#Since Donald Sinclair did commit suicide or rather self-euthanasia after Alf Wight and his own wife Audrey died#But this slow grumbly figure in the new adaptation is not Siegfried Farnon- the book character didn't grumble more often he exploded#And why did the adaptation give him a dead wife that's so weird? What could that possibly add to the source material?#And this brings me onto my second problem which is to do with women and age#Firstly I have no idea why they aged down Mrs Hall or at least made her look younger than a woman her age would have back then#But what really drove me mad was when Heriot goes out to see some old woman hill farmer in the episode I saw#And this woman is far too clean and young-looking and you can see that she's wearing 'natural' look make-up#And a perfect set of clothes that looked like they were straight out of the House of Bruar autumn collection catalogue#Say what you like about the 1978 adaptation but old women looked like old women regardless of whether or not they wore make-up#It may be that the better quality of television screens means that the 'natural look' shows up on screen more clearly than it would have#But natural look make-up was not really a thing in the 1930s and for old women Yorkshire hill farmers I doubt they'd have much on at all#They just don't seem to be capable of allowing people to look old and wrinkled and real or have bad teeth or unattractive clothes#And everything is far too tidy- everybody looks far too perfectly country and quaint#Anyway the moral of this story is of course that I always recommend reading the books because they're much better#than any tv adaptation; but if forced to choose at least the 1970s one felt real and yet didn't have to be grim either#Ok that's my rant over please do feel free to enjoy the show I just got annoyed because the opinion was expressed on TMS
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those mike pov fics that really actually show the difference between mike and will's exterior behavior in the sense that mike sees and knows that will is less "tough" and "masculine" than him, but he doesn't think anything negative of it at all and is trying to break through to will who is trying to hide that bc he feels shame or embarrassment for it..... they jus hit different .
and when will sees that mike won't judge him for his sensitivity and that he actually loves that about him? that mike doesn't view him as any less of a man or view it as abnormal? and so he comes out of his shell and becomes so much more vibrant? bro im tearing up just thinking abt it like—
AND WHEN THAT IN TURN MAKES MIKE COME OUT OF HIS SHELL, TOO, AND BECOME MORE EXPRESSIVE AND VULNERABLE?! GODDDDDDDDD
#AUGH........... IT'S JUS SO GOOD...........#no one is one thing all the time but they do have a clear difference to them they aren't the same character replicated#and it's just so NICE to see that in fanfiction it's so satisfying to watch those personalities come together#please lord let mike be a bitch and blunt and rude -> mean at times etc etc he can be soft yes but that#is made so much more .... impactful by the fact that that ISN'T how he presents himself to everyone or most often it's a side of him that#you have to Earn !!#and will omggggggggg he's a shy little thing. compare how he acts with jon vs mike vs the party vs other figures .#he becomes more silly n snippy when he's comfortable with you and if he isnt on stable ground currently then he zips it all up n its when u#*ur on good terms again tht it comes back out etc etc like#these guys have layers. and they're so satisfying to watch come together#giving these characters a big fat kiss on the forehead bc i love them so much theyre jus so . Perfect
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I'm sorry but this just pisses me off (Not Hunt obviously, but Bryce)
Bryce rant incoming which you can just ignore and I'll probably delete later
But Bryce just puts all the blame on the Asteri. And yes ultimately they are to blame in the larger sense of things. But Bryce plays a direct role in leading them down the path that results in Hunt, Ruhn and Baxian being caught. It was her need to find out Danika's secrets with no thought to the consequences, her idea to go to the Eternal City. And she takes NO personal responsibility for it at all!
Hunt is blaming himself for everything that's happened. Even when it's not his fault at all. When we're in his pov he's constantly drowning in guilt, thinking about how he should of done more, he should of tried harder, he should of been better, how it's all his fault this happened and that his friends suffered.
And then Bryce does none of that. When we're in her pov she doesn't really show any major guilt. I can't think of any times when she blames herself like Hunt does. And I'm not saying she should be wracked with guilt. But a normal person, a good person, will usually feel bad and will feel guilty and blame themselves to some degree when something bad happens and people they care about are hurt, regardless of how big or small they're involvement is, or even if they're not at fault at all, case in point Hunt being wracked with guilt even when it's not his fault.
And to make it worse she acknowledges that Hunt warned them, warned her. But that she disregarded it and would of done it no matter what.
And then she has the audicity to say she doesn't regret it. And she thought they were on the same page. ON THE SAME PAGE!!?? Hunt made it clear in hosab that he didn't want to go down this road again, that he didn't want to get involved. YOU just didn't listen Bryce. And yeah Hunt's an adult, he can make his own decisions and he could of said no and not gone. But of course, OF COURSE!! he wasn't going to let Bryce go down that road alone, because he loves her, and doesn't want anything to happen to her, and wants to protect, so of course he would never desert her. But that doesn't mean he wanted to do it!
For Bryce to be that unaware of Hunt's feelings, when he explicitly stated them. For her to be that disconnected from her mate's feelings that she's surprised that he wasn't really on board is kinda unfathomable to me. Just that complete lack of awareness really does make her look quite selfish/self centered.
Anyway sorry, this post is a mess but I just had to vent
And then when Hunt mentions the consequences he and his friends faced, Bryce makes it about her pain. She's hurt that Hunt mentioned that they suffered. And the worst part is, Hunt then regret's it, he regrets saying something that hurts Bryce, because he cares about her and feelings. And she does not consider his feelings to the same degree
It just pisses me off
#honestly with bryce's lack of feelings of guilt her lack of consideration of other people's feelings and her lack of taking responsibility#for her actions i think sarah has unintentionally written her as kinda a bit of a sociopath#anyway like i said in a previous post *sigh* i miss hoeab bryce my beloved#hoeab bryce had gone through so much and had a lot of growth through the first book and had so much potential for more#but then it just stopped. went backwards even. in fact i think hofas bryce has gotten worse#she's had no development for 2 books now and the further i get into hofas more and more apparent it's become how flawed#and one dimensional her character is#her being in prythian and the acotar characters carried her early chapters but now that she's back in midgard her lack of growth and#maturity is starting to grate on me. literally every other pov character has had more development then her#in all the other character pov's they are constantly self reflection they feel guilt they blame themselves they consider the feelings#of those around them. they consider how their actions have affected those around them. they take responsibility for their actions#bryce's pov does not do that to the same degree. if at all#there's minimal critical thought. no self reflection. a lack of taking any responsibility for her actions and the consequences#she's really is a very flat character. what you see is what you get#and her 'sassyness' (that was fine at first when there actually was more to her character) which is supposed to come across as#witty funny badass who takes no shit ect. more and more is just comes across as annoying and immature#and often inflammatory in situations that require maturity sensitivity and tact#her disrespect for the ocean queen who is helping you and is super powerful and not someone you want to make#an enemy of was just unnecessary and not smart tactically#and this is super nitpicky but I'm getting so sick of bryce's clothes. please get her out of those ridiculous leggins and pink sneakers#they were fine when she was going to the nail salon and the gym but how am i supposed to take her seriously on a world saving#mission in those clothes. how am i supposed to take her seriously as a queen (ugh) conversing with the ocean queen#in those clothes#and I'm loath to say it because i love hoeab quinlar with my whole heart but hofas bryce doesn't deserve hunt#the devotion and consideration hunt has for bryce and her feelings is not returned to the same degree to him#anyway i was hoping to get my hoeab bryce back but it hasn't happened but hopefully the second half of the book#can turn things around for her#pleaseee
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now for a fun game of: is this slightly worrying medical symptom perhaps possibly circumstantial because of external factors or do i need to add it to the pretty rapidly growing list of Reasons I Probably Have Thyroid Disease Or Something
#itsevanffs.txt#i hate that i feel like i have to do my own research before going to the doctor because if i don't roll up with 4 separate research papers#that have each been cited at least 60 times. they just go 'oh come back in two weeks xoxo let's see how you feel then'#no bitch!! test my blood please!!!#i am suffering from a Disease but if i consult dr google too often and tell you what i think it is you'll be like ah another hypochondriac#there is no winning!!!#aaaaaaa!!!!!
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Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy
You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing
I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know
Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards
...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said
Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes
#to be clear; I don't mind people disagreeing with me (though that's not what's happened here... I don't think I came into it at all)#but all I need in order to be able to work with disagreement is just... knowing you at least heard and understood me#like if it's 'I get that you think that vanilla is a good flavor of icecream; but I really prefer chocolate'... ok; this works for me#it's that... a lot of the time it honest feels more like 'what are you talking about? vanilla isn't a flavor' where... huh?#let's take a real example; not everyone needs to agree with me on nuclear#but like... someone saying 'I get that it's way safer these days; but I still worry about waste storage'... well ok then#but if it's just like 'but it's dangerous and will explode' even after I've explained about the designs now#where there's a salt plug that with melt and drain before anything can happen; and these materials don't like to run away#...and it's not like they're asking me to back up the source; it's like I never said anything at all...#what am I supposed to do here? you feel me on that? do you start to get why I feel like I'm going crazy when that's how it often feels?#no one is obliged to agree with me but... literally just active listening would fix this... say you heard me and we're good#acknowledge that I voiced something and it's been noted#honestly... honestly my who life it's felt like I must somehow actually be invisible#...to an extent maybe I'm a figment of my own imagination; I might well be a ghost that's lonely and makes you all up#...for all the impact my actions have#or maybe literally everything I say just comes out garbled... is that it?#this post is about something very specific; but it's also about something that happens a lot with a lot of different people#on a broader scale; why is it no one else seems to be able to connect the dots#and these aren't like... conspiracy theory dots; these are like russia buys drones from Iran; therefore russia and Iran are partners#that's the kind of dots I'm talking about connecting; please tell me that's not a conspiracy theory to you... it seems plain to me#I don't know... I really don't... I don't think much I say will ever have any impact anywhere on anyone#...honestly a good 90% of the time people don't even respond to what I say#not like my posts here; I mean direct in dms or whatever; I'll say stuff and it's just silence or a new subject#again; across multiple people; it's common... it's... I think it happens more often than it doesn't#I can instantly name 4 conversations with 4 different people that's happened with lately#and that's not counting the 3 where I know the reason why it's happened#I really am something unfit to live; the evidence is endless#mm tag so i can find things later
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Okay aside from ibuprofen, I have a serious question for when you feel better—
How do you think Rom felt after she ascended? Do you think she gained any sort of higher perspective that allowed her to see what the others she had left behind were doing and to look back on her own life? Could she see Micolash? Caryll? Willem? Yurie? What did she think of all their goals and ends…most of all…why was she hiding the rituals? To save the world from Mico’s horror or to help him hide his sins out of some lingering sense of care? Was she even think much at all? I wanna hear your thoughts!!
Well hmmm 🤔 First things first, I always felt like Willem urging the hunter to go in the lake was a signal from him to hunt Rom, which I think would be counter-productive if Byrgenwerth's goal was TO conceal that specific ritual! My interpretation is that Rom was a volunteer to conceal the horrors of the cosmos prior to what Micolash did; as far as Byrgenwerth and Willem were concerned, she was their special asset to gatekeep the Eldrich Truth from those who are not ready to handle it, as well as the one concealing Byrgenwerth ITSELF! Argh, this is a slightly long theory to recite, so I will just link it here: ( x ). Byrgenwerth we see in "reality" is only a very small building, and the rest of it (Lecture Hall) is between Nightmare and the waking world! The true univercity used to be accessed through the lake like a portal! .....really, please, just check the linked theory ;-;
So yeah, that's the gist of it! Rom knows that if 'unprepared' people witness a cosmic horror - nothing good will come out of it, and also chooses to protect Byrgenwerth. She cared for humanity in general and the evolution, just like other best Byrgenwerth scholars! So, protect humanity, but also ensure the research to improve it continues.
It was my recent idea that what happened with Byrgenwerth was a very similar effect to creation of Hunter's Dream - Rom having sort of a "pact" with Ebrietas instead! Now, yeah, whether she REALIZES what she's doing is a question that torments me to this day! @_@"
The best explanation for Willem's gesture I can give is that he is aware of Mensis Ritual and wants it stopped, realizing how damning it is for humanity! Damian, the one from School of Mensis himself works with us to break Rom's concealment, too... Like I said before, insanity for "strong ones" and beasthood for "weak ones" could never be stopped by any means as long as ritual is ongoing! The note in the Hunter's Dream for us is my best clue for this headcanon:
The night of our Hunter ends when Mergo is silenced (aka ritual is stopped), so this would be the 'source'. Rom's barrier mitigates the severity of the ritual's effects, but doesn't stop it. Her barrier is penetrable for those who are "ready" (you start to see things like Amygdalae even through her concealment if you have enough Insight), but Mensis Ritual is special in how it still bears effect on people in Yharnam whether they are aware of it or not. One could completely avoid blood and eyes both, but as long as ritual is ongoing, sooner or later they WILL give into either beasthood or madness.. That is not very acceptable, right?
My version of Yurie becomes aware of what is happening, together with Fauxsefka, but agrees to let it happen. She thinks that keeping the ritual but also concealing it could cause a positive effect on humans by making their conscious evolve sooner or later.. So, what if some people become beasts instead of elevated as the cost? Can't help everyone! Fauxsefka thinks she is a callous bitch for that and bails. Laurence, I think, would be really proud of the way she thinks, on the other hand.. Willem, like I said, doesn't seem to agree with something so drastic! (Sadly, the only way to stop the ritual would be to first unveil it, which.. not everyone could survive. Like ripping the bandage.) But Rom is... still up for questioning.
Prior the spider form, Rom did believe in making people smarter through "deception". She witnessed the 'cursed', 'forbidden' knowledge beyond 'Stars and Moon' early and knew that Choir people would not listen. And she did hide Micolash's true antics at Mensis, trusting him to figure things out in his own way. And to do things that no one else would have the courage to do, herself included. I think it would be very bittersweet if even after her ascension, Rom still blindly trusted Micolash to figure everything out while she covers his back, even if now at more instinctive level. So, when Micolash decided to lock the Lecture Hall passageway to protect himself further (after Edgar betrayed the Choir for him), Rom just... let it happen. Helped, even! Placing herself in opposition against Willem. During her human life, she allowed Micolash to do a lot of awful things - with herself too, using her as a test subject, believing that she was "too stupid to decide such things" and Micolash always "knew better", so could that persist even now? That... deep trust, even in the most insane plan, not knowing that Micolash completely lost the objective.
But on the other hand, the idea of her being so completely lost within her own power that she doesn't even understand what happens (and when) is really appealing! That she just experiences and observes so many things, in so many timelines, on so many levels at once... well, until Hunter trying to kill her would make her focus on their specific universe and timeline. :') But yeah, complete transcendence + theme of a powerful "idiot god" that doesn't realize their power is really good. So, yeah, Rom doesn't leave the lake past the Mensis Ritual because of either blind faith in Micolash's plans or because she just... well, everywhere. She might not even notice with how many other things she's seeing. The motivation of milking the "use" of the ritual's effects I already gave to Yurie. 🤔
I just think the whole vibe of her being a genius that never credited herself properly fits her the best! She kept hearing that she was too dumb to decide for humanity or herself from the only family she had and just... agreed with it? Although she is aware that progress is impossible without sacrifice and very daring experiments, as soon as Mensis Ritual happens, Rom believes that "smarter people know what they're doing"... if she IS still aware of anything. Whatever Micolash is doing, he has good intentions and knows what is the price and the result, right...? RIIIIIIIGHT?? Yurie, Damian, Willem and Fauxsefka know Micolash is batshit, though.
If she still has some lucidity - she can "see" people that she used to know, yes. She just would not think of them or miss them in the same way us normal humans do... Memories would be torn, like in a dream, she'd know of Yurie, Micolash or Caryll but not have lucid comprehension of becoming a bit too "enlightened" to interact with them normally. Most of her attempts to interact with someone would transcend the space and time, but also she'd be too incomprehencible in this way... Not even for the most Insightful people. It could come like a dream, or like sixth sense, and Rom would "envision" herself as still a human. Close person like Yurie or very smart person like Caryll would still guess that the strange 'feeling' must be Rom, just not able to grasp her. That'd be beyond their perception! Micolash, that lil shit, would think whatever he could perceive to be a sign from Kos, though. -_-" I think even Ebrietas would not be able to truly grasp Rom now, should she try to contact her via the 'astral projection'! Think of it as almost no one having enough Insight / Eyes Inside to see her like this... This is very lonely, like being a ghost. Rom has to be there physically to communicate! But she should NOT leave the darn Lake!!
Patches, who is also a 'spider', got split across the multiverse in a much more solid way, of course 🤔 Rom is simply Too Many Things to have a similar fate... becoming a person-per-universe is too little to contain her, at least yet. Great Ones are more complex than just bald lil shit who messed with something forbidden!
#ask replies#bloodborne#rom the vacuous spider#please ask something simpler.....#it is hard to choose between possible explanations!#in general this topic is a little hard to tackle!#with how often I discuss Rom's lore you'd think I know it like the back of my hand right?#but every time either new things come up that I haven't noticed before OR I forget some bits I stated previously!!#it is like a river.. it is flowing all the time but every second the water is the different water#if you get my analogy#it is always the same but not the same!#Rom's naivety and her brother doing a number on her self-esteem does work pretty well#but so does implication that she is so trascendental that she doesn't even know WHAT she's doing#or when. or where.#I think the only one who could interact with Rom during her astral travels are 'true' Great Ones#like Flora or Kos#and probably Aldrich because of his bizarre dream powers but crossing of From's universes is a different thing
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Conventional nightmares are scary but I think it’s the unrealistic ones that are the most scary
#the conventional ones I have are ones where people try to kill me or I kill people or do other bad things to them#or other bad things happen to me that could happen irl. but euhgh#I had such a weird nightmare#I WSS like ? on a weird ship thing with extended and being gay was like. not allowed but. I was gay anyways#and I hid it pretty well until like. suddenly at a huge fancy family dinner like? I was hashtag exposed and I tried to be like no please noo#but they were like TO THE HELL DIMENSION WITH YOU!!!! and I got sent to … s dark room with a stage and.. prom decorations?#there were other people and stuff and people onstage preforming the same thing over and over but I sat in the back bc I was pissed#also I was a borzoi. important detail😭 I remeber it because I always had to swish my tail off the chairs so I didn’t sit on it#anyways I was pissed as fuck. hal was there (the person not the character) and I was maaaaaad and it for some reason and I feel kinda bad#glitch was telling me yea ur in hell with (PEOPLE WHO DID REALLY HORRIBLE AWFUL THINGS. like. really bad.) and I was like awesome. kys#and it was like OK. don’t be like that let’s go sit at the chairs up high by the stage. and we sat on the same chair all squished 😭#everyone also had a small pack of plastic dinosaur beads that are. identical to ones that I have. and he talked to me as I fiddled with them#I was reallyyy scared because there were fucking. really dangerous people also apparently I was supposed to rot here forever.eventually hal-#-got up to strech and so did I and I sat back down ready for him to sit with me and he was like no. and I was like :? and it was like. the#the house. then glitch pointed to a small plastic house in the room like the ones for kids to play with outside and I was like oh :(#cos I thought he was leaving me and I got really sad because he was like. the only#good thing there. but it was like no. come#and I didn’t hear and I kept moping and he was like COME WITH. and I was like omg it’s talking to me. YAYYY!!!#I got up wirh my borozi paws to go follow glitch into the house then I woke up because someone called me just now😭😭😭#and I’m not gonna sleep again. it’s nearly 2pm. woof.#anyways that was horrible it was worse than the time I had a dream I killed someone and was a wsnted fugitive#I think hal was there cos I was thinking abt him right before I EME went to sleep and when I think of ppl before I sleep they often are in-#-my dreams#ok I need to get up and do stuff now. auhh#hollowspeak
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diluc standing directly in front of the fucking vase is killing me
#personal stuff#thorn plays genshin#nice story. you used that one last year.#he remembers all the stories kaeya makes up to get wine hasfgjdfhkg#wait he directly mentions the vase. okay. explodes#master diluc grumbles but he doesn't mean it. please come by the winery more often we all miss you very much. explodes#sickly child kaeya Real#adelinde taking care of diluc and kaeya when they were Young young REAL. oh my god#the fact that kaeya only returns to the winery and gets adelinde to cook for him when diluc isn't there#like he feels like he has to do it behind his back because he doesn't feel entirely welcome there. okay. explodes#i'm ILL. just the fact that diluc has no problem with him being there but kaeya thinks he does. can you two be normal. please. for me#head in my fucking hands.#just the emphasis in this hangout on kaeya's kindness#and the fact that he purposely sneaks away from a situation before he can get recognition for it#THE FACT THAT HE ONLY CALLS HIMSELF CREPUS'S SON AND DILUC'S BROTHER WHEN IT REFERS TO BUSINESS OF THE WINERY#rotating kernsing's weinlesefest vacation fic in my head#YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME ADELINDE LOTS OF PEOPLE CARE ABOUT ME NOW. OKAYYYY#kaeya. i'm ill
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I'd really like to talk about how non-black artists often draw Aisha with straight or vaguely wavy hair. I know a lot of these artists genuinely just.. don't know, so please understand, that 100% is whitewashing. Whitewashing isn't just about skin - there are a lot of different ways to whitewash real people and fictional characters.
I get that winx club came out in the early 2000s and was originally hand drawn so there were limitations with how well they were able to communicate her hair, however, it's not straight.
"There are four basic curl types of texture types ranging from 1 to 4," shares Yates. "Type 2 denotes wavy hair with no discernible curl, and types 3 and 4 plus additional classifications define both the curl type and shape. If your curls are defined ringlets, think like the shape of a slinky or corkscrew, then you have class 3 curls. If your curls follow more of a 'z' pattern, then you have class 4 types of curls." -source
For reference, here's another chart.
Now here are some pics of Aisha's hair in various hairstyles.
It'd be easy to assume that Aisha's hair is in that loose wavy pattern that takes up Type 2, but I really don't think that's the case. It's hard to place her in an exact category since we can't see the individual strands and therefore can't see if she has waves or defined curls/coils. However! Please take note of the overall shape of her hair, the volume of her hair, how well it holds shape and stays up, and how it moves.
Aisha's hair is most likely in the Type 3 range (and possibly Type 4A)! Again, please look at her updos! Her hair holds shape in ways that Type 2 hair doesn't (not without a lot of product and styling).
Honestly, I think some of this confusion also comes from people having the belief that black women can't have naturally long hair. That's not the case... but it is still a pervasive stereotype.
Anyway, this isn't the most thought out post but it is me asking non-black artists to be aware of how they're depicting black characters. Natural hair is important! And while we may not know Aisha's exact type of hair, we do know that it's not in Type 1 or Type 2. Drawing her with straight hair or somewhat wavy hair is whitewashing and needs to be avoided. Aisha's hair is very stylized and it's not really meant to look Realistic, but portraying her with the hair type she most likely has is important.
Please remember that whitewashing doesn't just mean making someone's skin lighter. Depicting a black character who canonically has curly hair with straight hair instead is 100% whitewashing. Just... please be more conscious of how you depict black characters and how Sometimes you might do something racist without consciously realizing it because you're not black, you've grown up in a racist world, and you do have unconscious biases and stereotypes running around in your brain (everyone does ! you are not exempt !!).
#obligatory i dont have curly hair so im Not an expert#and if anything i said is Wrong or off please let me know !#like i promise i wont be a dick about it#and obviously no one is obligated to add on but if you do have curly or coily hair and you have thoughts Please feel free !!#again i promise i wont be a dick and you wont come off as annoying or anything#i Want the fandom to learn more and do better#the only reason I'm making this kind of post is cause i see it too often#like practically 9 out of 10 aisha fanarts gives her straight hair or Kinda Wavy hair#and its like... it just feels so lazy#if its in the art style of winx or close to it then i understand it more#it pisses me off more when the art style is realistic or more realistic#like dude... DUDE...#anyway PLEASE GIVE MY GIRL HER CURLS BACK#winx aisha#also listen ik this isn't written well but it gets the point across and thats what matter
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