#please be nice to me I’m so scared rn

[strawberriesatan]

Made a little fic,, guys I’m really nervous about posting my writing cuz it’s much less developed than my art but I must share my love for Erzajane with the world

[bigfootsmom]

[insert something poetic and profound here]

[mutalune]

on one hand I am very glad that ketamine therapy has been helpful for my severe depression and anxiety and ptsd and whatever else is going on up there, and I’m grateful that it’s available to me as part of my treatment plan

on the other hand I’m not a huge fan of the payment for that help being a 50/50 chance every time of having a bad trip that unlocks some deep scary part of my psyche and then having to address all of that in therapy until the next trip

[earlysunshines]

just pretend(?)

danielle marsh x fem!reader ; angst, fluff

synopsis: your coworker can’t seem to fall out of love with you so you convince your best friend to fake date you. sometimes the “fake” seems a little too real.

warnings: PINING!!! ; danielle is touchy and wonderful and reader is a mess ; kinda all over the place?? I'm also a bit iffy ab the pacing on this one ; bit of angst near the end ; alcohol ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread… none of my fics are…

a/n: this is based off my life rn bc my friend and i r literally fake dating so my coworker can stop being in love w me and i just HAD to turn this into a fic like what (but most of this is exaggerated ofc esp the whole coworker thing I made her a little over the top on purpose for the plotLOL)

"absolutely not." hanni looks disgusted, almost appalled with that stupid expression on her face. “you’re crazy.”

"please, i'll pay you." you beg, clasping your hands together and giving her your best puppy eyes.

"you're going to scare the hoes away... no, no, and no.”

"what ‘hoes’ hanni? when is the last time you've talked to a girl." you groan and pinch the bridge of your nose.

she sticks her tongue out at you, then responds, “you wouldn’t know…”

“dumbass the only reason i’m begging is because women do want me. please, it’s not going to be serious or anything—“

“i don’t care, the answer is no. ask someone else!”

you’re currently perched on the edge of your best friend's bed, practically begging for help. you seem to have a knack for attracting the strangest types of people, and this time, it’s your coworker who’s got severe attachment issues and an unhealthy level of codependency. all you wanted was a paycheck and simplicity, but now you find yourself in a situation you never asked for.

your best friend groans again, “you and your flirting… it gets you into this shit time and time again and the way you act… you know what you’re doing.”

“what?”

“shut up, you act gay and you know people fall for that. i’m not gonna help you because you want to be an asshole, if you could just be normal for once—“

“fuck you.” you flop onto her bed, shutting your eyes and rubbing your face. “i’m just nice and it’s fun to flirt! it’s nothing. i flirt with my friends and you all the time, they’re fine with it.”

“that’s because they’re straight, y/n. gay people are very vulnerable – except me.”

“you would know.” you retort, earning a glare from hanni. “who the hell do i ask then?”

“haerin?”

“she wouldn’t.”

“yunjin?”

“we don’t match, plus, she dates around.”

“sakura?”

“edating someone right now, some girl in france?”

“the hell?”

“i know.” you sigh louder and hanni just looks at you with slight, playful disgust. “what do i do.” you flop your hands onto the mattress and stare up. “dude, she’s too obsessed, i’m flattered because i mean, maybe i’m attractive and whatnot but this is just–”

“--delusion at its peak.” hanni clicks her tongue, now smiling at you; an idea pops up in your best friend's big head. you turn to face her, raising a brow. “how about dani? she’s literally perfect.”

danielle marsh is perfect, that’s the problem.

she’s a biology major whose ipad pro notes are so neat and pleasing to the eye that they genuinely keep you awake at night – most of it being because you’re leeching off her, but they’re so neat it really has you thinking how she does it all. 

to make things even more bewildering (and impressive), she’s one of two people you know – you’re unsure whether your cousin hyein counts, high school is nothing compared to what you endure – who manages to get at least eight hours of sleep daily. in contrast, everyone else in your circle, including yourself, is barely hanging on by a thread. 

yet, danielle seems to have cracked the code. she even finds time to volunteer at the library where she works, making you wonder if she’s some sort of extraordinary being. her ability to balance everything so effortlessly leaves you in awe, often questioning if she’s even real considering how remarkable she is.

the worst part is that she’s your best friend, right after hanni, and the person you’ve been crushing on since your first semester of university. 

it’s impossible not to have a crush on her—she’s gorgeous, sweet, and embodies everything you could ever want and more. she’s captivating, and every time you see her she flashes that stupid, adorable smile that makes your heart do a flip regardless of how many times you’ve convinced yourself that she’s unattainable and that there’s no way and that you don’t even like her and–

“i couldn’t.” you shut hanni down, quick. “she’s… you know.”

hanni furrows both brows, turning her head. “she’s what?”

“you know.” you make some strange gesture with your hands that only confuse hanni further. 

“i don’t, just fake date her.”

“she wouldn’t agree.”

“sure she would, let me call her!”

you shoot up and look at hanni with an expression that screams ‘are you out of your mind?’ as she finds danielle’s contact on her phone. 

before you can stop her, you hear a ringing sound and feel your body give up. hanni grins at you when danielle picks up five seconds later, both of you hearing a friendly, “hi!” as you back away from her.

“hey mo dani!” hanni greets, giving you a shit eating smirk. “miss l/n has a question for you.”

“she’s with you?” danielle’s voice is sweet like honey even from the phone. “hi!”

“hey!” you greet a little awkwardly, glaring at hanni. 

“y/n was wondering if you could date her.” 

eyes widening, you leap and grab the phone from hanni immediately, sputtering out jumbles of words nervously, “n-no! i mean, yeah… but not for real.” 

“oh,” you hear danielle respond lowly from the end of the phone. “wait, i’m confused.”

hanni watches you close your eyes tightly, clearly flustered and thrown off by her little antics. 

“y/n came over to ask me to date her, not actually, but just like, pretend.” hanni explains, “her coworker is still in love with her.”

“sarah?” you hear from the other end of the phone. “i thought you rejected her like, three months ago.”

“i did, but she’s still… ugh.” you flop onto the bed again and danielle hears hanni laughing in the background. “she’s still stuck on me i think, i don’t know, she’s been so…”

“if it’ll stop bothering you then i’ll help!”

“you will?” you respond, shocked. hanni mouths an i told you, then gets shoved. 

“yeah! i don’t want my best friend being so bothered, it must make you uncomfy too, right? working with someone who likes you?”

you start to wonder if danielle would be uncomfortable in a similar situation, maybe in one where she’s friends with someone who likes her, but she’s unaware of that. you shake your head, clearing your mind and staying present.

“kind of, it’s just… extra stress.”

“okay, then let’s date!” she beams, you can picture her eyes scrunching and smile growing. you want to die (affectionate) just thinking of it. “this should be fun!”

“thanks for helping out dani, thanks so much. i’ll let you be, okay? gotta go um… run errands.” 

“alright! just text me, bye, love you.” the call ends and you sigh again, feeling yourself sink deeper into hanni’s sheets.

hanni is very much your mortal enemy, she still doesn’t know why you’re so distraught because of danielle. whatever the reason may be, it makes her cackle next to you.

–

it’s nine in the morning, you didn’t have time to pregame the lecture on microbiology with at least three shots of espresso, and you’re yawning as you leave the room.

you hear your name being called out and turn to see no one other than the feeling of hot chocolate on a cold, snowy day turned into a person walking towards you – danielle.

“hey! hi.” she greets, smiling wide. her hair is clipped up and small strands of her hair stick out cutely. “hey baby.” 

you almost choke. “what?”

“did you forget we’re dating now?”

“oh.” dating, but is it even that if it’s not real? “um, hey babe?” it comes out uncertain and danielle laughs.

“wow, you suck at this – it’s okay, we’ll work on it.” she giggles, then links her arms with you. “let’s go get coffee, i need it in my system right now. oh my god, it’s our first date!”

laughing to hopefully fade away all signs of being flustered to oblivion, you tighten your arm that’s locked with hers. “right, yeah.”

you’re going on a ‘date’ with the prettiest girl on campus, she’s paying for your iced americano with oat milk splashed into it, and she’s smiling at you like you’re laughter in the rain. this can’t be good for you, it can’t be — it’s not. you wonder whether this will be worth it in the end because your coworker doesn’t even know about any of it.

(yet.)

–

before your next shift with your delusional coworker, you and danielle have already conjured up a storyline and backstory for your whole arrangement.

you two conversed for an hour after walking towards the park near her apartment and sitting down next to each other on the swings like kids. danielle was giggling and you were smiling at how charming she looked. unfortunately, you found yourself falling even harder for her just from making up the whole fake story.

danielle suggested keeping it simple, but cute: you two met at the library she worked at, you found her cute and exchanged numbers, went on a few dates, and have been girlfriends for nearly two months.

“but i literally told sarah that i wasn’t looking for anything.” you explain, sighing as you kick the mulch on the ground. that’s what you had said, but what you meant was that you’ve been looking for danielle the whole time. “she won’t believe it.”

“well,” danielle gives you a cheeky look and giggles. “i managed to charm you in a way that pushed that whole idea aside. that’s not too unbelievable, right?” she winks at you and you feel your heart stop momentarily.

you scoff playfully and snicker, “oh shut up.”

“it’s part of the story! are you saying i have no charm…”

she has too much charm. 

“dani, you’re such a dork.”

“a dork that caught your heart! i think this story is perfect.”

pushing aside the slight ache in your heart and the flush in your cheeks, the two of you formulate a first date story: you took her out bowling, where you lost terribly to her (danielle insisted this detail had to be included), and then you both had dessert together at your place. 

it’s not a terrible story, not at all. even hanni would be impressed, but you’re not going to tell her because she’d tease you both relentlessly, and you’re not sure your heart could handle that.

–

danielle walks you into work holding your hand, your coworker, sarah, watches the whole thing.

a pretty girl (pretty is an understatement in your opinion) smiles at you while walking you in, she’s telling you about the little kids she read to the other day and you can’t help but marvel at the excitement coursing through her.

she drops you off near the register right before the small ‘employees only’ sign, then holds both of your hands and looks at you like you’re a flower that’s just bloomed beautifully.

she pauses, observing you closely, then smiles wider. “okay, i’ll get going sweetheart.” the pet name makes you swallow subtly. “have fun at work!”

she takes her hands away from yours, making your skin feel a little colder. “bye, see you.”

danielle glances at your coworker, who’s looking at her with something mixed with confusion, anger, and a hint of disgust. she then looks back at you – a better sight in her opinion – smiling and waving once more before walking away.

you stay there, frozen for a few seconds, before walking behind the counter and setting your bag down.

as you grab your apron, you catch sarah in your peripheral and turn to greet her. “oh, hey.”

“who was that?” she asks immediately. “what’s up with the ‘sweetheart?’”

you grin as while tightening the lace of your apron, then respond, “my girlfriend.” and it feels wonderful rolling off your tongue.

“what? i thought you didn’t want anything?”

“you still in love with me or something?”

she feels her throat dry as she looks at you pat down your apron. “w-what?” she stutters, shaking her head. “no, why would i be…” her tone isn’t convincing, and neither is she when she adds, “it’s just… what’s with the change of heart?”

“she’s really charming,” the thought of danielle begging you to mention that makes you blush. “i like her a lot.”

sarah fights back a frown, instead, her lips twitch into a forced smile as she walks past you to tend to a customer.

–

danielle picks you up from work just to tighten the knot, and sarah also witnesses all of it.

both you and your coworker get off at closing, and after locking the doors, you run into danielle. 

she’s standing outside in a baby tee and jeans, a cap perched jauntily on her head. the moment she sees you, her face lights up into a pretty smile, and you instinctively return it. she rushes over, wrapping her arms around you in a warm hug. as she pulls back, she scans you with a playful yet affectionate gaze, her eyes lingering on you with a mixture of admiration and curiosity.

“sweetheart! i missed you.”

“i missed you too dani– baby…” you mutter the last part shyly, making danielle giggle. “you came? it’s late.”

“i wanted to pick you up, can your girlfriend not do that?”

it still sends a shiver down your spine – hearing danielle call you that. you rub the back of your neck and look away nervously, then respond, “of course not, i’m just surprised.”

sarah looks at the two of you, scoffing under her breath. danielle hears it, turning to look at her and grin, raising her brows along with it before meeting you again. she places a hand on your shoulder, then mumbles, “well, hanni called us over, i wanted to scoop you.”

“ohhh,” it makes sense now, she wouldn’t willingly pick you up just because of the whole ‘fake dating’ thing, there had to be a motive. “alright. i can drive? if you’d like, you know. you must be tired from work too.”

“aw, you’d do that?”

“i um,” you cough, avoiding her eyes again because she’s making you feel all flustered without doing much. “yeah, it’s nothing… baby…”

she grabs your hand, fingers intertwining before dragging you along to her small suv, then handing you her keys. 

your coworker groans now that you two are further, narrowing her eyes at danielle when she turns back not so subtly to make sure sarah is looking. any normal person would back off, getting the hint that the person they want is unavailable, but sarah sees it as a challenge, somehow.

there’s nothing she can’t achieve when she puts her mind to it, that’s her mindset.

you’re oblivious to how insane she is, too clouded with how touchy and giggly danielle is after the whole interaction when teh two of you get in the car.

–

danielle sits besides you on hanni’s couch, leaning against you a bit. “yeah, she gave me a glare, it was kind of funny.”

“pftt– i guess it’s working then?” hanni asks, walking over to hand you two juice from her fridge. danielle takes it happily and it makes you smile a little. 

“i hope so.” you sip on your peach juice. “but she’s like, clinically insane.”

“is she?” danielle questions, tilting her head as her hand finds its way to your bicep. you blush.

“dude, she was crazy.” hanni rubs her temple. “like, oh my god, she was going insane for a good while because y/n didn’t want her like that. i saw their messages and–”

“okay i’ll tell the story thank you.” you scoff. “she’s really competitive, and i guess new to romance? considering how she reacted i don’t know, she’s very…”

“sensitive?” danielle asks – you shake your head.

“i mean no, but kind of. she would get jealous over me really easily and was kind of codependent, like everything i do affects her or something. i’d just go on my day, but she’d always be so reliant on me and text me so often and i just… it’s so much.”

“ah, i see. how long has it been since you rejected her?”

“a few months. i thought she stopped liking me since it’s been so long, but lately there’s been tension and she’s looking at me how she used to…” hanni listens closely as she watches you rub your forehead, looking a little distraught. “i just, oh my god she has terrible attachment issues it’s concerning. the only thing i could think of was pretending to date someone.”

danielle nods in understanding.

“yeah, one time i went to see y/n at work and she looked so like… hostile. that’s not normal, we’re visibly friends.” hanni adds.

you know the exact afternoon that it happened, what hanni mentioned that is. 

she had pulled up to drop something off, and you teasingly flirted with her, hugging her as thanks. afterward, you rang up one of her orders and played with her fingers, a little habit you had developed to annoy her. despite the evident look of disgust and annoyance on hanni’s face, your coworker—who allegedly liked you a bit too much—looked like hanni had just slapped you in the face or spat at you.

long story short, hanni glanced over to see the coworker glaring at her menacingly. in response, hanni poked at you once more before hurrying out with a latte in her hand, confused and slightly terrified.

“yeah she’s… got a bitch face.”

“it’s not normal to glare at people that simply interact with your coworker…” danielle mumbles. “i’m sorry to hear that.”

you wave your hand, giggling lightly. “it’s nothing, really. i mean, i just don’t want her to be so obsessed and stuck on me, i think us pretending to date should tame the fire.”

pretending. 

the word makes both you and danielle tense up.

–

you clock in again, greeting sarah. 

she smiles brightly at you, waving and you have to make a little gesture to remind her there’s a customer in line. sarah turns away bashfully, then takes the man’s order with a hint of attitude. you’re not very fond of that.

he orders an americano, so you immediately get to work, weighing out grinds of espresso, tamping it down, and pulling two shots. as you do so, sarah pulls up next to you and nudges your shoulder.

“hey,”

“hi.” you respond, not looking up from the cup in your hand. “did you need something?”

“that t-shirt looks good on you, have you been working out?”

you feel uneasy the moment she says it, swallowing a lump in your throat. you pour the two shots over the hot water and force a response, “thanks, and um, no.” before calling out the order.

sarah continues to watch you closely as you throw away the used espresso, then says, “your girlfriend didn’t drop you?”

“she’s working.”

“right. i’d find a way to drop off my girlfriend anytime that i could.”

“good for you?” you look her in the eye again, clenching your jaw. 

“you don’t post her much on your socials either, are you guys really a thing?”

fuck. 

you scoff, “what kind of question is that? of course… i just… don’t post much. we’re still kind of new to this.”

“right, she’s not even your lockscreen.”

“i’m going to grab some beans from the back,” you interrupt, redirecting the conversation away from the topic of your alleged girlfriend. sarah narrows her eyes at you as you turn away from her, stepping away and disappearing towards the storage area.

once you’re alone, you sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, feeling the weight of the strange interrogation settle on you. there was an unmistakable hostility in sarah’s tone, a sharp edge that cut through the air. hanni’s right, she always is. the mere thought of enduring six more hours with sarah makes you want to crawl into a hole. her jealousy is palpable, and it eats away at you, gnawing at your nerves.

you pull out your phone and quickly dial danielle, pacing back and forth as you wait for her to pick up.

“hello?” she responds less than ten seconds later. “what’s up?”

“she’s catching on, kind of. i think she’s jealous.” 

“sarah?”

“yes.” you groan, then lean your back against the wall. “i can’t work like this.”

“i’ll come over? do you need me to?”

“no, but can we meet after? i think we need to be more public, if that’s okay.”

you hear her confusion through the phone. “what? public?”

“like, soft launch or something. i just need to make it obvious that i’m quote on quote dating someone – you. and we need a lockscreen together.”

a giggle is heard on the other end of the line, “oh wow.” danielle mumbles teasingly, “this is pretty serious.”

“i hope i die.”

“aw, don’t say that babe. just come over to the library after, okay? good luck on your shift! i have to clock in soon too.”

“can we meet at my place?”

“anything is fine, that’s alright.”

“i literally owe you my first born, dani.”

“it’s nothing, this is quite entertaining.” she says, and you smile with the phone at your ear. “call me later, okay? send me updates.” 

“right, yeah.” you almost whisper, “thank you.”

“it’s nothing, sweetheart.” her laugh is infused into the sentence, making your chest burn.

–

“this is so dumb.” 

you are so dumb. this isn’t helping your case.

hanni and minji are fighting back laughter while you try to naturally rest your hand on danielles knuckles. you’re stiff and it looks anything but natural. 

the angle you take the picture at makes it look awkward, and the picture’s quality sucks too. 

“just relax.” danielle says, then holds your hand instead. “here, let me take the picture.”

you’re trying to keep your cool while minji and hanni watch and danielle, the prettiest girl you know, holds your hand and scoots closer to you in order to ‘soft launch’ your fraud of a relationship. her hand is nice in yours, her skin is soft, and she’s so close you can smell the vanilla fragrance she uses. 

danielle snaps a quick picture, then the rest of the bunch – including you – scoot over to look at the picture.

“well would you look at that! it’s perfect.” danielle beams, grinning at her work. “post that one.”

“holy shit.” minji says in awe. “no yeah, you could fool me with that.”

“anyone could fool you, dumbass.” you snicker, looking up at her and smirking.

“i hate you.”

“oh, i guess you don’t want free food from my work…?” 

minji groans, making you laugh. 

danielle’s hand is still in yours, you don’t fully register it until you realize you need both hands to post a picture on your instagram story. she seems a bit disappointed when you let go, though you barely notice – and even if you did, you might just chalk it up to your imagination.

it's fun, no doubt about it. yet, you can’t help but wonder what it would be like to take pictures of you and danielle that aren’t staged or orchestrated. you long for authenticity, capturing moments that are mundane and candid.

the thought lingers in your mind the whole time, even as you pose with your back to the camera, pretending to cook alongside danielle. it's all set up and artificial, every movement planned out, yet danielle starts giggling and leaning into you – a spontaneous gesture not part of your last-minute brainstorming. 

her laughter is genuine, her touch warm, and it makes you wonder if maybe, just maybe, not everything is as fake as it seems.

–

you wake up from your nap and groan as your ringtone renders you awake. blindly, you slap your hand in every direction on the bed until you feel it under your other pillow. someone’s calling you, that’s all you can make out since there’s a red and green circle. 

tiredly, you mumble, “hello?”

“hi! are you busy?” it’s danielle’s voice responding, shaking you awake. 

“oh, um, no.” you say as you sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes and running a hand through your hair. “are you okay? did something happen?”

“i’m fine! i was just wondering if you were free. you sound tired, were you sleeping?”

“i just took a power nap that’s all. what was it that you need?”

“oh, sorry to wake you.”

“it’s fine, seriously.” 

“well,” she starts, “i was just wondering if you wanted to go out together?”

“oh, me?”

you hear her giggle through the phone and smile softly. “i mean, i am calling y/n, aren’t i?”

“yeah, you are.”

“and i’m asking you, my girlfriend, to hangout. it’s like a date!”

“we’re not actually dating danielle, you don’t have to pretend when we’re calling and alone.” you say quietly, pursing your lips.

it’s not that you hate it, danielle being all lovely and playing the role of your girlfriend too well. the thing is, it feels like you’re getting led on, and the way she is just gives you false hope to something real.

danielle feels a little ache in her heart when you respond like that, but she pushes it away for the time being.

“i don’t mind it, it’s fun!” she beams. “anyway, there’s free ice cream downtown for couples, do you want to grab some?”

“is there? yeah, i’m down. do you want to take the metro?” 

“that’s perfect, there’s probably so much traffic.”

“alright, i can scoop you and take us to the station in fifteen minutes, okay?”

“perfect.” she closes the conversation, and the call ends.

you flop down on the bed again, just for a moment. your eyes are fixated on the ceiling above as you breathe in, thinking about everything. 

you and danielle aren’t dating, not for real. it’s just a show, a sham. she simply wants to hang out for free ice cream, nothing more. you know this. you set yourself up for this whole fake dating thing—well, kind of, considering hanni was the culprit behind this whole arrangement.

it’s already been over a month, and danielle doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest, treating the whole thing as no big deal. you must be insane; you can’t keep doing this knowing your feelings are growing and she most definitely doesn’t feel anything real. it’s just to benefit you, and she’s a great friend who’s willing to help you out. yet, each time you pretend, it gets harder to separate your act from reality.

despite the turmoil, you’re up and finding a change of clothes in order to make danielle happy. because even if she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your friend and you love her regardless.

(sometimes the love you have claws you from the inside.)

–

danielle clings to your arm the whole way down to the city. sometimes she clings a little tighter than usual, then goes silent, and it makes you breathe deeply.

it takes a few wrong turns and teasing to get to the icecream place, there’s already a long line with actual couples. you feel out of place in a way; there’s partners holding the other by the waist from behind, setting their heads on top of the others. a few are just holding hands or lingering close and you can just sense all the love and adoration in the air. 

you swallow shallowly, tensing your jaw because danielle is close to you, but not because you two are something more than friends.

“wow, so many lovebirds.” she says in awe, gazing around.

“uh huh.” you feel her hand slide down your forearm, then her fingers intertwine with yours as she looks up at you. “hm?”

“to seal the deal.” she shrugs, smiling. “plus, your hands are big… and warm.”

“you have small hands.”

“perfect fit for yours.” she giggles playfully, making you do the same. “what flavors did you want? it’s two scoops for free.”

“you can pick both, i don’t mind.”

“what? c’mon, you should pick one.”

“no, you wanted ice cream. i’m just here to make you happy.” you admit, tightening your grip on her hand. 

she starts to respond, but stops for a few seconds. you watch her look away bashfully, staring at the ground and grinning to herself. she shakes her head, then says, “you’re so lovely…”

“pfttt, i just want you to be happy, seriously.”

“you know,” she begins, looking at you again. “whoever manages to become your girlfriend would be real lucky.”

“oh.” your lips twitch into less of a smile and you pause for a moment. “maybe.”

“this fake dating thing is making me realize that you’re such girlfriend material.”

a small laugh stifles the tension and awkwardness in you, “thanks? you are too.”

“am i?”

“yeah.” you stare into her eyes, shes everything you could wish for in a person. “very.”

before danielle can respond, the line moves, and it’s time for the two of you to decide on two flavors. it takes a while to do so, with you declining the offer to chime in and pick a flavor you want, danielle was the one to invite you out anyway. but she looks at you with puppy eyes, pouts, then puts a hand on the side of your bicep and it makes you cave in.

the final choices are salted caramel and coffee.

danielle holds the cup in one hand, drags you away from the area littered with lovey dovey couples – some being too lovey, considering they can’t seem to get away from each other – and leads you blindly towards a small alley in a neighborhood until a bench comes into view. she pulls you towards it eagerly, making you laugh until you’re both sitting next to each other.

you frown a little as you look at the ice cream in the cup. “some of it is melted.”

“not all of it!” danielle beams, then scroops a spoonful of the coffee side – the flavor you ended up choosing. “you have the first taste.” she says, bringing it closer to your mouth.

“wait, you should have it.”

“too late,” she starts to move it in a circular motion, saying, “ahhh~” as she does so.

you scoff, then lean forward and all of it is in your mouth in one bite. danielle watches your eyes light up.

“it’s good.” you mutter, then grab the other spoon to scoop the other flavor. you mirror what danielle did before, making her laugh just as much. “open wiiiiide~”

“ahhh~”

you snicker before moving the spoon into her mouth, she closes it and smiles immediately, melting in place despite the ice cream being pretty cold. 

the street lights make her look precious, highlighting the satisfaction on her face because of some simple ice cream she’d gotten for free. you want to see her this happy everyday and as much as you can. 

a small hint of ice cream is on the corner of her lips, it urges you to bring your hand over and wipe it off with your thumb. danielle stops savoring the dessert, instead, focusing on you. 

“sorry, there was… yeah.”

“mhm.” danielle says, staring at your lips. “it’s really good.”

“i can tell.” you turn away, feeling flustered when she looks at you like that. “let me try your flavor.”

the two of you continue to eat ice cream together, subconsciously scooting closer and closer as you share it. danielle’s head ends up on your shoulder when the cup is empty in your hand, silent in her place.

you don’t budge, mainly because she seems comfortable and you don’t mind ruining your posture a bit if it’s for her. she sighs contentedly, moving her hand over to hold yours in the midst of the moment, slotting together effortlessly. she doesn’t say anything, but you feel her lean into you a little more.

“you okay?”

“just happy.”

“ah,” you rub your thumb against her skin. “that’s good.”

“being with you makes me really happy.”

“being with you makes me happier.” you say softly, staring at your hands aligned seamlessly. “do you want to stay here for a bit longer?”

“please.”

“it’s getting late.”

“i know, just a bit longer.” danielle says.

just a bit longer. if only the whole arrangement could last forever, if only you two could be this close and warm for lightyears.

minutes pass, and neither of you move, lost in the comforting silence. the only shift comes when you turn your head to press a gentle kiss into her hair. danielle feels perfectly in place, her heart fluttering at the tender gesture. a soft smile spreads across her face, a silent acknowledgment of the moment's sweetness.

–

the night prior had to be a dream, it was too perfect. it was the realest you’ve felt with danielle, the closest to something romantic. it was even enough to consider that she felt the same, and you’d love to revel in that possibility, but you have to restock the beans and cups quickly before tending to the drinks.

there’s only thirty more minutes until your shift ends, it feels like eternity.

sarah catches you smiling to yourself throughout the shift, biting the inside of her lip. she’s filled with all too much: anger, jealously, dissapointment, and really just everything that makes her uneasy. 

she still can’t believe it, you had gone on a whole tangent telling her you couldn’t be in a relationship and now you’re being a complete loser in front of her. she hates it, she wants it to be her that makes you smile randomly throughout the day.

what pisses her off more, and truly makes her lose all hope, is when you go from looking tired and drained to bubbly and smiley as soon as a familiar figure starts walking toward the counter. 

she watches you check the time on the register, your smile widening because you can clock out and be with danielle, who’s waiting just across the counter. the change in your demeanor is undeniable, and it stings sarah to see the joy that danielle effortlessly brings out in you.

you walk over to danielle, reaching for her hand. “hey.”

“hi.” the way danielle says it makes your chest warm and sarah nearly gags in return.

what makes sarah's shoulders sink, her heart drop, and her frown deepen is when danielle suddenly kisses your cheek. 

the shock is evident on your face as you stand frozen, your hand instinctively moving to hover over the spot where danielle's lips had just been. the tenderness of the moment is overwhelming, and sarah can't help but feel a profound sense of loss. the realization that your heart belongs entirely to danielle crushes any lingering hopes she had, leaving her to face the painful truth.

“w-what was that for?” you look over and make eye contact with sarah, who’s grimacing. “there’s um, you know… bystanders.”

“i missed you, so much. i couldn’t stop thinking about you.” danielle says simply, not bothering that sarah is the only one who’s witnessing this, and from a few feet away too. “do you want to get dinner?”

“it’s three in the afternoon silly.”

“well, anything is fine. we should study before we eat! i heard the module mr. lee assigned us was really helpful for…” 

the rest of what danielle says doesn’t register in your coworker’s mind. she studies you closely, her frown deepening with each passing second. it’s painfully clear to her now—you’re genuinely in love with danielle, and there's nothing she can do to change that. the way you look at danielle, like a child seeing a rainbow for the first time, leaves no room for doubt. 

it dawns on her that giving up is the only option, and she feels a pang of resignation settling in her chest.

–

nearly three months have passed and both of you have still been ‘pretending.’

neither of you acknowledge that it’s fake, not during the weekly dates, study sessions, and late night walks or movie nights that end up in the two of you falling asleep together. danielle doesn’t think twice when kissing your cheek here and there, even your knuckles when she thinks you’re asleep. 

you figure that maybe it’s okay to kiss her cheek too sometimes because she’s her lips turn each time. and when you pick her up for weekly dates, she happily jumps into the passengers seat of your car as if it weren’t just a mutual agreement. sarah has already given up, considering she seems defeated, and you wonder if you should too. 

you can’t tell if it’s just how danielle is, which eats you inside. everything feels all too real, and your feelings only grow more unbearable.

–

you shouldn’t have let jimin drag you out to minjeong’s party. she’s already left the moment you stepped into the house, she’s probably gotten a hold of a drink already.

jimin had noticed how deeply stressed you've been lately. your responses were slower, your shoulders seemed permanently slumped, and the stress was practically etched into your face. being one of your closest friends, jimin decided that it was time for a change. she was determined to get you out and help you relax, knowing how crucial it was for your well-being (and social life, to be completely real).

walking around, you scan the crowd for a familiar face. unfortunately, the only people you recognize are sunghoon and jake, who have a history of hitting on you despite your clear disinterest. they still haven't grasped that you're a lesbian. you quickly decide to steer clear of them.

the only reason you’re here is because you’ve been throwing yourself into your studies, staying late at the gym, and doing too much to avoid danielle – or even the thought of her.

(which is unfortunately impossible since every little thing reminds you of her.

the flowers on the counter at your work remind you of her smile, the couch in your apartment is where you two have spent hours together, and really, you’re hopeless.)

you find jimin outside on the porch with her other friends that you’ve only talked to once or twice. they’re all talking about something, clearly tipsy, and you’re walking over to linger near your friend.

“y/n! oh my gosh girl, where have you been? come here, have a drink!” jimin grabs your arm, pulling you in and hugging you like she hasn’t seen you in forever. “here, take a shot.”

she hands you a shot of what you assume is some cheap vodka, you didn’t even have time to pregame for this. you’re not against drinking, not at all, if anything you’re all for it. there’s videos of you in groupchats shotgunning beer and finishing with barely any reaction – but tonight, you don’t know if you’re in the mood for it.

one won’t hurt, maybe it’ll erase danielle from your mind for a moment.

“fine.” you grab the small glass, then bring it to your lips and cock your head back, eyes pinching for a brief moment as you swallow. “shit,” you mumble, “give me another.”

you don’t know what has taken over, because you’re downing two more without hesitation. jimin laughs and smiles proudly at you.

for a brief moment, everything feels fine. the music blasting from inside the house, a mix of charli xcx and the chatter of your friends mocking one of your professors and jake, makes you laugh out loud. amidst the chaos, you find a beer in your hand, and somehow, you manage to tolerate the taste. wonyoung appears too, and hands you another after you quickly finish the first. you accept it, even though you're already starting to feel a bit fuzzy.

jimin looks at minjeong with a sparkle in her eyes, and you subtly push her a little closer until their shoulders touch. they exchange smiles, and you watch, feeling proud of your matchmaking. 

your heart sinks as it suddenly reminds you all too much of danielle. the fondness and spark between jimin and minjeong make you frown, your grip on the beer tightening as the bittersweet memories flood back.

“fuck,” you practically whisper. “i need to, i’m going to get more um, drinks.” 

“hm? okay.” jimin says quickly, then turns back to the girl she’s linking arms with.

your head pounds, so you gulp down the can of beer in your hand, then crumple it and toss it toward a trash bin in your line of sight. 

as you make your way to the kitchen, you spot a bottle of vodka and pour yourself a shot into a plastic cup you found. the liquid burns your throat, intensifying the ache in your head. despite this, you pour another shot, perhaps a bit too generously, hoping to numb the growing pain and the emotions clawing at your heart.

the room feels like it’s spinning, you’re walking down some hall and blinking and blinking until you reach a bathroom. thankfully, no one is making out in it, but you check the shower for safety measures. 

you’re finally alone, groaning as you fall against the wall of the bathroom and slide down until you’re sitting on the bathroom floor.

clumsily, you grab your phone from your back pocket. the screen lights up to a picture of you and danielle, cheeks squished together and smiling. 

you stare at it for too long, your breath hitching and your vision blurring as the ache in your head intensifies. the happy memory contrasts sharply with the heaviness you feel now, making it all the more difficult to look away. she just looks so cute in it.

you tap your screen again, and another picture of her appears. it’s a picture of her asleep in the passengers seat, head tilted uncomfortably and lips parted slightly. you had set up your lock screen to cycle through images of danielle, initially to fool sarah, but also because seeing danielle’s face as soon as you pick up your phone makes you feel at ease. each photo captures her different expressions—laughing, pouting, lost in thought—and they all make you grin. 

the happiness you feel is bittersweet, knowing it’s all part of an arrangement that feels increasingly real to you.

your vision is a little unclear, but somehow it sharpens just so you can see her perfectly.

“fuck,” you gasp out, unlocking your phone and trying to navigate to your recent calls. you had called hanni earlier and she had just been lounging at her place. you figure that she’d be able to take you away from here.

you squint, pressing on the contact that has a and n, assuming it’s hanni, then wait as the phone rings.

“hello?”

“hanni, i’m… can you pick me up?”

“y/n?” her voice is muffled when it reaches your ears, “are you okay? what happened, where are you?”

“jimin… dragged me out. i drank… soooo much.”

“y/n, oh my gosh.”

“hanni, stay on the line, please.”

“i’m not–” the voice cuts off, you drop your phone on the carpet. “hello?”

“you have my location… right.” you slur, head leaning against the wall even more. “hanni i can’t do it anymore.”

“y/n, i’m on my way. are you alright?”

“hanni, i can’t.” you groan, staring up into space. “i don’t want to fake date danielle anymore. it feels too real, i hate it.”

silence follows before you hear the voice on the other end of the phone.

“you can’t? why, why didn’t you tell her?”

“she seems happy, and… we just, don’t acknowledge that it’s not real.”

“y/n…” 

danielle sits in her car, heart sinking. 

you dialed her on accident, and it doesn't seem like you know it’s her. 

“please come. please.”

danielle gulps, feeling tears forming in her eyes. 

–

danielle scavenges through the house your location on her phone has brought you to, looking around for you helplessly. 

she makes her way to the porch and spots jimin, who’s hands are on minjeongs neck as she holds her in place. danielle walks over, not wanting to disturb the intimacy, but you’re her biggest priority, so she’s willing to do so.

“jimin,”

she turns around, looking at danielle confusingly. “oh, when did you get here?”

“where’s y/n?”

“hmmm… she went to get drinks a while ago, she hasn’t come back yet. try the kitchen?”

“okay, thank you.” danielle says hurriedly, then rushes back inside.

she checks the kitchen, only to see jake and sunghoon with beers in their hands as they cackle loudly. you’re nowhere in sight, making her bite her lip in frustration.

danielle goes through every room on the first floor until she reaches a bathroom. she pushes the door open, and it suddenly stops, hitting someone. a groan escapes from behind the door.

"i'm so sorry!" danielle rushes out, peeking around the door to see who she’s just collided with. "y/n?" she gasps, eyes widening in recognition and concern.

you’re sitting against the wall, hair tousled and cheeks red. there’s a white tank top hugging you, the thin straps of it loose against your skin from your posture. 

“hanni?” you look up, squinting. “i wanna go home.” 

you see the figure move closer to you and close the door, then she squats down and you realize it’s not hanni. danielle comes into view, her eyebrows creased with concern. your cheeks flush even harder, and your lips part.

she puts a hand on your forehead, then cups her cheeks with both. “are you okay?”

“you’re not… hanni.”

danielle’s shoulders fall down a bit. “hanni um,” danielle hates lying, but she’s doing it now to save you from spiraling. “she sent me over.”

“oh.” the response from you cracks her heart slightly. “okay.”

"let's go," she says firmly, helping you up. despite being taller and more muscular than her, you lean on her for support. danielle manages to steady you with surprising ease, guiding you out of the bathroom and through the house, her grip strong and unwavering.

–

you collapse onto danielle’s couch and groan, your body is limp against the cushions.

a few moments later, she comes back with a cup of water, placing it on the coffee table before she sits you up. she tilts your chin up and you look at her with wonder as she grabs the cup and holds it to your lips, “drink.”

“mhm.” you mumble, sipping slowly and swallowing. 

your vision clears slightly, though it might just be danielle who’s grounding you. her concerned eyes meet yours, and while guilt tugs at you, you're also captivated by her beauty in this moment. you're drunk and out of your mind, thoughts muddled and unfocused.

“pretty.” you sigh dreamily. 

“y/n,” her voice is laced with uneasiness. “drink more water.”

“okay.”

“and stay the night, okay? you um, left…” she swallows hard, fighting back a frown. “you left your clothes here, i’ll go grab them.”

“can you stay with me though? will you? i really… just… i want you here.” 

danielle bites the inside of her lip, her eyes wide with confusion. just moments ago, you had admitted that you wanted to stop the whole ‘relationship’—that it had become too intense, too overwhelming. and now, you’re asking her to stay? her mind spins with the jarring shift in emotions.

you lean in, clinging onto her. danielle feels the warmth of your breath and the softness of your nose brushing against her neck. the touch sends a shiver through her, and she swallows hard, struggling to steady her breathing. as you pull back, your faces are mere inches apart. you lock eyes with her, your gaze heavy with so much. 

there’s a lump in her throat. “okay.”

–

danielle wakes up with you on top of her and your head in the crook of her neck. she hears you breathing softly and subconsciously, her hand slides into your hair.

why are you so confusing? danielle wonders, twirling your hair with her pointer finger. is this what you really want?

you’re incredibly considerate, a trait that’s always shone brightly. the way you go out of your way for her—planning dates, cherishing every moment together, simply because it makes her happy—fills her with a bittersweet feeling. she adores these shared moments, savoring the illusion of authenticity. but now that it’s clear that all of it strains you, it weighs heavily on her heart.

you stir awake, your breath warm and rhythmic against danielle's skin. as you hum softly, her cheeks flush a delicate pink. she feels the gentle pressure of your arms tightening around her, pulling her closer. you shift, nestling deeper into her, finding a more comfortable position. each movement sends a shiver through danielle, leaving her heart fluttering like crazy at eight in the morning.

she doesn’t know what to do.

–

danielle doesn’t ask you out or come over the whole week, excusing herself by saying she’s busy or caught up with things. of course, you don’t comment on it – she’s not really your girlfriend, you shouldn’t expect her time and affection. 

but then another week passes by and you don’t get any texts back, sometimes she even leaves you on delivered for hours. that’s not like her at all. 

you catch her in class and she’s still the same danielle you know – bubbly, pretty, and sweet – but that’s really the only time you see her these days. 

it’s confusing, all too confusing, so you barge into hanni’s apartment on a thursday evening because she’s the only one you can rant to about this.

“you didn’t even text me–”

“oh my god i think danielle fucking hates me.”

hanni lets you storm in, walking towards her room and flop onto her own bed. you look devasted, especially when you rub your face in your hands and groan loudly.

“okay, first of all: why the hell would she? second of all: yeah, why… why would she…?”

“she’s been avoiding me and i have no fucking clue why.”

“dude what.” 

you recount the entire story to hanni, animatedly illustrating every detail with exaggerated hand gestures. “so, jimin practically dragged me out to unwind, and i ended up drunk out of my mind!” you say. your hands wave dramatically, punctuating the story as you describe stumbling around, the room spinning, and how the whole ordeal felt like a whirlwind. 

hanni watches, her amusement growing as you explain the night’s events. “jesus.”

“yeah, and then danielle came and picked me up.”

“she did?”

“yeah… you called her over… didn’t you?”

“dude, what are you talking about.”

you pause, looking at her with confusion evident all over your face. then grab your phone, heart feeling strained when you see danielle posing with a stuffed animal that one time – out of many –  you two went to the mall together. you click on the phone app, looking at your recent calls and scrolling down to roughly two weeks ago.

you see hanni’s contact name, and then danielles after.

“hanni, did i… did i call you that night? two weeks ago, the friday night i went out.”

“dude you only called me that morning or something, you left something here.”

“oh my fucking god.” you gasp, putting a hand over your mouth. “oh my god.”

“y/n what.”

“i drunk dialed dani and i thought it was you. she told me you sent her to grab me…”

“what did you say to her?” hanni asks, looking at you with slight worry.

you groan, rubbing your face again. “i… i said i didn’t want to fake date her anymore.”

“oh, well that’s not too bad.”

“no, i remember it somehow. i said i hated it.”

your best friend looks at you, confused again. “you do?”

“yeah, but like, no?” you groan once more and fall onto the bed again. “hanni, i’ve… i’ve liked danielle since first semester.”

“oh.”

“yeah, oh.”

“you’ve been fake dating and simultaneously in love with her?”

you sigh. “yes.”

“holy shit.”

“yeah. i think she took it the wrong way, maybe she thinks i hate her?”

“you need to talk to her.”

“she doesn’t want to see me.”

“no, she’s so fond of you. i honestly think she likes you back.”

“okay it’s not the time for that–”

“shut the hell up bro.” hanni pinches your cheek and you slap her hand away. she begins again, “dude, she rambles about you and shit. there were times i actually thought you guys were really dating.”

“i wish.”

“then make it come true!” hanni groans. she pulls you up, then puts both hands on your shoulder. “you need to go talk to her, stop being a pussy.” 

“it’s not that–” 

your phone vibrates in your hand, snapping you out of your animated retelling. instinctively, you glance down and see a notification from danielle. hanni notices the shift in your expression, quirking an eyebrow as you stare at the screen, looking visibly distressed. she leans closer, peeking at the notification.

as your face unlocks the phone, the text is revealed: "can you come over? we should talk." your mouth drops open slightly in shock, and hanni mirrors your expression. the room suddenly feels heavy.

“dude.” hanni points at the screen – the obvious. “she–”

“fuck me.” you mutter, “fuck me.”

“dumbass,” hanni says, pushing you off her bed. you curse and look at her with “what the fuck?” written all over your face. hanni stands up and continues to push you out her room, saying, “go see your ‘girlfriend,’ even if it’s not real you better go talk to mo dani.”

you sigh, pushing her off you and grabbing your things before you walk towards hanni’s apartment door. you stare at the handle, then the text, and linger for a moment. hanni puts a hand on your shoulder and you look at her.

“i’m fucking terrified.”

“well you’ll feel even worse if you don’t go, so go.” hanni urges, opening the door and nudging you out.

–

the air is cold, it’s really just cold outside and it makes you shiver more than you already are just from the thought of the interaction.

you’re outside danielle’s work, sitting on the steps because you can’t bring yourself to go in and approach her directly. maybe it makes you a coward, but you’ve always been nervous about seeing her willingly and making the first move. the minutes stretch on, each one making you more anxious, but you can't help it. the thought of facing her, of initiating that crucial conversation, ties your stomach in knots. she called you out here anyway.

wind hits your cheeks and you bite your lip, walking around in your place in an attempt to warm up. then, you catch someone in the corner of your eye, so you turn around and meet danielle.

a loose sweater drapes over her frame, and wide-fit linen pants hide the shape of her legs. the wind tousles her hair just as it does yours, but she looks effortlessly angelic, stopping your heart for a moment. her hair, caught in the breeze, frames her face in a way that makes her seem almost ethereal, temporarily making you forget your worries.

then she’s walking toward you, and you remember why you’re here.

you swallow hard, body tensing. 

“thank’s for coming, i’m sorry i haven’t been.. um, able to spend time with you.” she looks nervous, her eyes avoiding yours and hands fiddling with each other. she stares at your necklace instead as she continues, “i’ve just… i wanted to talk to you about what we have.”

“right, i wanted to talk to you about it too.”

“oh,” danielle says quietly. “i’m sorry, i didn’t want to be a burden. you called me instead of hanni the night you got drunk and i know how you feel about fake dating. i’m sorry that you had to do it with me and it caused you so much stress i just–”

your heart aches as you listen to her ramble, guilt evident in her voice for something that’s not her fault. you can't bear to hear her blame herself. your brows furrow with pity as you gently cut her off, “danielle, no, let me–”

“stop, i want to make myself clear. i want to explain a lot of things to you, you’re so lovely and sweet and you don’t deserve to be so stressed. it’s just, okay, wait.”

she pauses, breathing in, and looking at you with tears lining her eyes. your breath shakes looking at her like that, you can’t breathe or speak in the moment.

danielle purses her lips before continuing, “okay, when hanni first said you wanted to date me, i got so excited because well, i always thought you were cute.” she turns her head to the side and bites her lip before looking back at you. “and then you said it wasn’t an actual date, you wanted it to be fake. i don’t know i just, i felt really sad when it happened but at the same time the thought of fake dating you didn’t seem too bad because i’m selfish and i mean, i liked you a little and i thought i could just fake it and revel in the artificial aspect until i got over it but i ended up falling for you so much and i’m sorry. i don’t want you to think im anything like sarah–”

“danielle, stop.”

“no, y/n i just want to explain myself–”

“danielle, shut up, oh my god.” you gasp, looking at her in disbelief. “you, are you fucking with me?”

she looks at you, still feeling guilty. when she blinks, two tears fall down her cheeks and she inhales sharply as she conceals a sob. she turns away, then murmurs, “no, i’m so sorry.”

“n-no, no. dani, danielle.” you almost breathe it out, then bring both hands to hold her face. your hands cup her cheeks making her face you. “please stop crying, i’m sorry, baby, i’m sorry.”

“b-baby?” she says, confusing taking over her features. you had gotten so used to calling her endearing pet names that it slipped out so suddenly in the heat of the moment.

the lights outside shine just enough for you to see her clearly. her eyes are watery, tears staining her cheeks, and you use your thumb to gently wipe them away. her nose is a little pink, and so are her cheeks. of course, she’s a pretty crier too, but you look at her with guilt, shaking your head as you continue to stroke her cheeks with your thumb. the sight of her like this breaks your heart even more.

“i only said i hated it because it was all too real, but not in a bad way. not at all.” 

“really?” she says between sniffles. “w-what do you mean?”

“i’m saying that,” you use your thumb to rub a tear threatening to fall from the corner of her eye. “i hated it because i couldn’t take the fact that it wasn’t real. i wanted it to be real. danielle, i’ve wanted to be yours since you first gave me the notes from the first lecture we had together.”

“what?”

“danielle,” you almost whisper, then kiss her forehead. “i like you so much. i don’t hate you, or this – i hate that it’s not real.”

her mouth opens in shock as she looks at you, sniffling. you anxiously wait for a response, hoping she'll say something, but she doesn’t. instead, she hugs you, wrapping her arms around you tightly. you return the embrace, holding her just as tight. the world around you fades away, leaving only the two of you in the nerveracking moment.

“i like you too – a lot. i was so scared when you said you hated it, i thought i was making you uncomfortable and gosh i just felt so bad and–”

you rub her back with your hand and cut her off, “i was anything but uncomfortable, i felt like i was living in a fantasy.”

“thank god.” danielle sighs in relief. 

you pull away, looking at her again and wiping remnants of tears with your thumb again. “i’m sorry for making you cry.”

if you could go back and punch yourself for being stupid — you’d do it in a heartbeat. a dumb slip up and miscommunication from your lips is the reason danielle’s nose is still tinted pink from crying, you feel guilty as ever.

in your hands, it feels like you hold the world. she shakes her head in your hold, then smiles from relief.

“it’s okay.”

“are you busy after this?”

danielle giggles, shaking her head again. “if you’re asking me out on a date – a real one – then absolutely not.”

“dinner? it’s on me for being stupid that night, and this whole time.”

“perfect.”

you smile sweetly at her, your gaze lingering on her lips. before you know it, you lean in and boldly peck her right then and there. she gasps when you pull away, looking at you with widened eyes as you back off. but then, she reels you in again, leaning closer and kissing you once more. the kiss is soft and warm, filled with all the unspoken words and emotions that have built up between you. you feel her smile against your lips, and everything else fades away.

when you part again, you look at her fondly and ask, “wait, this is real, right? like, we’re…”

danielle laughs, hastily pecking you once more and lingering close.

“i don’t think it’s the alcohol that made you so dense and stupid.”

[thatdeadaquarius]

Topic: Genshin impact.

au: Sagau.

idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like

Zhongli: “I will have order!”

reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”

Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0

So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!

“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”

Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️

Stars: bro idek

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO

so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)

so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,

u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)

then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more

and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???

ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running

it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)

it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor

and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-

dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities

u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-

oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,

and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)

by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit

at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,

and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???

a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-

and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao

right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along

(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)

u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,

and u just,

walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,

that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-

Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀

U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??

u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army

(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)

meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is

it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light

u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh

tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀

…

(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,

she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)

☆

well that was, something. 😃🫠

sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)

i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭

</3

on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃

have a good week guys!

Safe Travels Lil Car,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

If ur tag doesnt work, pls check ur settings to see if ur a "searchable blog"!! Its not the same as the Ai selling data thing.

[landitolover]

𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕, 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓, in which lando and his fiancée joke about having kids (cats), but they randomly just drop an actual pregnancy announcement! ౨ৎ lando x mexican!fiancée!reader

Liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 109,122 others

yourusername que feo

tagged landonorris

View all 1,299 comments

user get this girl a kid for christmas!

→ landonorris 😉😉

→ user bitch WHAT

→ user plot twist he gives her an actual kid instead 🤷‍♀️

→ user OH NAAH..😭

user QUE PRECIOSA

user are u guys still trying for a baby

→ yourusername yes i rlly want a kitten for Christmas landonorris

→ landonorris yeah and i want a hippopotamus for christmas

→ user okkk xmas king ‼️‼️

user i love u queen 🙏🏼 and your lil white boy 🫶🏼

Liked by the creator

user jump-scare warning for the 1st pic yn

→ yourusername LMFAOO

→ landonorris babe you’re supposed to defend me

→ yourusername lo siento 😞

carlossainz55 por fin, un caption que es la verdad 😂

→ yourusername yo solo digo la verdad 😇

→ landonorris stop shit talking me guys!!!!

→ carlossainz55 pobrecito 😪

→ yourusername no, you THREW ME IN THE SNOW

landonorris SOOO HERMOSA 🤩

landonorris i don’t regret the last slide.

→ yourusername i see how it is.. calling off the marriage rn

→ landonorris BABY I WAS KIDDING I FELT REALLY BAD

→ user smh i’m already a child of divorce 😞

lilymhe 😍😍 become a runaway bride for me

→ yourusername ofc baby

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 220,029 others

yourusername when he hangs out with the opposition… he’s cute though, I guess?

tagged landonorris

View all 1,019 comments

user the opps 😒😒😷😷

user WHERES RHE CAT CAFE LOCATED QUEEN

→ yourusername tiki’s cat cafe in mexico city x

user my babygirl perfect angel pink princess bubblegum honey sweetheart sunshine shmuckums

→ landonorris that’s actually what i call her every morning

→ alex_albon good morning baby

user shes so gorgeous I just died dead

yourmom que preciosa mija ❤️❤️

→ yourusername te amo mami !!

landonorris DIOSA 😍😍😍

→ yourusername okkk mexican king 🤩🤩 !!

landonorris mi chula novia 👰‍♀️

→ yourusername 💕

maxfewtrell no

→ yourusername who r u

→ maxfewtrell fuck off

→ landnorris erm actually 🤓 don’t talk to my fiancée like that

Liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 1,290,192 others

landonorris we found a cat in our chair after we finished swimming, welcome to the family zanahoria 🥕 (this is her only Christmas present)

tagged yourusername

View all 2,291 comments

user OMG 😊😊 THEY HAVE A KID!!

user she’s so pretty

user LANDO U ARE THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE.

→ landonorris i know 😌

user UGHHHH IM SOBBING

user real baby next xx

→ user NOO GET OUTT 😭😭

user katnapped ❓

lilymhe she looks absolutely beautiful! uhm- and you’re there..

yourusername MY ONLY PRESENT?? YOU KIDNAPPED THE CAT

→ landonorris it was stray

→ yourusername u right.. i still deserve christmas gifts

→ landonorris i’m broke

→ yourusername …….🌝

Liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, mclaren, lilymhe, and 228,929 others

yourusername life update: back in my hometown, lando brought the helmet he quite literally dnfed in (🌝🌝), and my mom won’t stop showing him my baby pics. p.s. flo, can you please send me lando’s baby pics so he can stfu xx

December 21st, 2023

tagged landonorris

View all 1,029 comments

user tbf the helmet is rlly nice

→ user his rep era 😢 gone too soon

user WAAAHHHH

user best couple ever idc

user she was such a cute baby 🥹

→ user imagine their kids 😭😭

landonorris flo please don’t send her my baby pics

→ yourusername too late baby xx

landonorris wow u are so cool!!!! i am your biggest fan 🤩🤩

→ yourusername I’M (getting) MARRIED!!!!!!😡😡😡

→ landonorris he doesn’t have to know…😉😉

alex_albon u look disappointed in the first pic

→ yourusername i am

Liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, mclaren, lnfour, and 1,239,290 others

landonorris she isn’t dead!!

january 4th, 2024

tagged yourusername

View all 2,029 comments

user YN 😭😭😭 its been a year daddy

user i missed them so bad

user dont talk to me im sobbing

user SHES ALIVE!! AND HEALTHY!!!

yourusername 😇😇❤️❤️

alex_albon is your cat studious

→ landonorris duh, just like his dad 😉

→ alex_albon didn’t u like… not go to high school?

→ landonorris i can still be studious, mate!!!!

Liked by landonorris, mclaren, carlossainz55, yourmom, and 1,091,100 others

yourusername and it’s all just too much for little lando norris… surprise!! i am pregnant ❓(have been for like 3 months now)

tagged landonorris

march 1st, 2024

View all 2,019 comments

user OH MY GOD. THEYRE HAVING A KID????

user i am hyperventilating shut up

user LMFAOO THE 2ND PIC

user what about us….. your og children ☹️☹️

→ yourusername don’t worry 💕 you guys are the og!!!

user whats it finna play.. WOAAAHHH

user im throwing up i. Jsut fell on the floor

landonorris te amo mucho mi vida ☀️🤍🫶🏼

→ yourusername i love you more 🫶🏼🧡

lilymhe CONGRATS BABY 🎉🎉

→ yourusername thank you 💙💙💙

carlossainz55 i guess he isn’t so little after all? 😂

→ yourusername LMFAO CARLOS 😭😭

oscarpiastri is he crying over your cravings? cause they’re horrendous

→ landonorris yeah i am, but anything for my girl

→ yourusername STOP 🥹🥹

→ oscarpiastri ew don’t get all corny on me

yourmom por fin!!!

Liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, lnfour, and 1,678,919 others

landonorris daddy norris 🔜

tagged yourusername

View all 2,392 comments

user THE CAPTION? 💀

user i am so unbelievably happy for them

user mama y papa 💞💞💞

user who CHEERED

user omg she can’t have sushi until after the baby 😭😭

→ landonorris good.

user so i guess they were trying for an actual baby 😃

maxfewtrell mate get out with that caption

→ landonorris make me

→ maxfewtrell woah, you’re a soon-to-be-married man

→ landonorris 😐😐

yourusername 🔜

mclaren congratulations you two 🧡

→ landonorris thank you 🧡 (give me a life time contract??)

→ yourusername 🤍🤍

danielricciardo let me be the godfather (congrats mate 😁)

→ landonorris yourusername opinions?

→ yourusername uhmmmmmm

→ carlossainz55 let ME be the godfather

→ yourusername no güey

→ oscarpiastri pick me, choose me

→ yourusername 🐨🐨🐨

lnfour the soon to be better norris-l/n 💚

→ yourusername agreed

౨ৎ hi guyyysss 🤍🤍 sorry for not posting, i just didn’t have any motivation :,) but hopefully my motivation will come back though xx also i will prolly start writing part two of ‘say don’t go’ 🫶🏼

[judeswhore]

baby, i loved you first; jude bellingham | instagram au

summary: jude and his best friend totally aren’t in love or anything.

pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader

face claim: sabrina carpenter

notes: you can find my masterlist here. pictures are not mine, credit to the original owners

judebellingham

liked by declanrice and others.

judebellingham what a place🇬🇷

load all comments.

user ur so fine

yourusername okay

user going insane over the first pic

user i was hoping for slutty titty pics

yourusername liked this comment.

user not y/n liking a comment about jude’s tits💀💀

↳user she’s one of us fr

yourusername i think that white shirt is mine🤨

↳judebellingham it’s actually jobe’s

↳jobebellingham why’re u wearing my shirt u scruff

↳yourusername cant afford his own

user strange angle but still so hot

user i’ve told my mom about us

gioreyna 😍😍😍

↳judebellingham miss u baby😙

yourusername

liked by judebellingham and others.

yourusername happy place☀️

load all comments.

user so so pretty

user second pic is so cool

judebellingham pretty girl

↳yourusername flirt all u want ur still not coming for dinner

↳judebellingham now ur just being mean

user “just friends” but jude’s always pining in y/n’s comments

jobebellingham liked this comment.

user ur gorgeous and i’m obsessed w the bikini🫶🏻🫶🏻

judebellingham those glasses are vile btw

↳yourusername okay mr i’ll wear anything as long it’s a big brand name

↳judebellingham acting like half ur wardrobe isn’t my hand me downs

↳user just kiss already

↳jobebellingham he’s scared of girls

judebellingham

liked by yourusername and others.

judebellingham bts😎

load all comments.

yourusername slut

yourusername TITTY PIC YEAHH

↳judebellingham calm down ur embarrassing urself

↳yourusername if i revoke my slut comment will u post more content like this?

↳judebellingham i’ll post more tit pics if u do

↳yourusername if u wna see mine just ask nicely

↳judebellingham bet

user OMG???

user first pic is so hot🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

kalvinphillips nice you

user arms!!! chest!!!! feral!!!

user i need u biblically

jobebellingham sunglasses indoors

↳judebellingham it’s a plane

↳yourusername which is indoors is it not?

↳judebellingham u two have been together 5 minutes and ur already pissing me off

↳jobebellingham don’t get ur knickers in a twist u can have ur girlfriend back later

yourusername

liked by gioreyna and others.

yourusername pink to make the boys wink

load all comments.

judebellingham what boys?

judebellingham no one’s winking

↳trentarnold66 i’m winking

↳yourusername i’m blushing so hard rn🤭

↳judebellingham i don’t like this

↳yourusername okay?

user prettiest girl ever

user last pic is so so cute omg

bestfriendsuser missing ur pretty face sm

↳yourusername fly out NOW

jobebellingham that’s my cap.

↳yourusername i’ll give it back eventually

↳jobebellingham keep it idk what you’ve been doing with it this weekend

↳judebellingham don’t worry the cap wasn’t in the room with us

↳yourusername omg shut up

↳jobebellingham i don’t even wanna know

user jude’s comments r suspicious

yourusername

liked by jobebellingham and others.

yourusername look who i found😼

load all comments.

user obsessed with how hot u two wld be as a couple

judebellingham u look good👍

↳yourusername u don’t. greens not ur colour.

↳judebellingham why’d u start drooling over me then?

↳yourusername i was thinking abt trent

user JUDE

user he looks so fit here omg his ARM

jobebellingham please take him back to where u found him

user i want both of u. at the same time.

user y/n ur the absolute sweetest girl

bestfriendsuser dump jude date me

↳yourusername jude doesn’t even have a chance when ur in the picture

↳bestfriendsuser but he does have a chance😏😏

↳yourusername fuck off

user this looks like the cutest little villa

user HIS ARM FUCK OFF want it around my neck Now

↳yourusername u and me both

judebellingham

liked by trentarnold66 and others.

judebellingham recharging

load all comments.

yourusername who’s the pretty boy on the right😍😍😍

↳judebellingham i’m on the left sweetie

↳yourusername i was talking abt jobe

karim_adeyemi looking good😎😎

yourusername first pics kinda🤭🤭

yourusername it’s the brown shirt it’s messing w my head and making me think ur fit

↳judebellingham i am fit

↳yourusername too many people have lied to u

user the bellingham genes are insane

yourusername btw i want that brown shirt when ur finished with it

↳judebellingham already hung it in ur wardrobe

user so jealous of y/n getting to spend time with them

↳yourusername nothing to be jealous of they’re both vile boys

gioreyna good people

user it’s cute that y/n goes everywhere w jude they’re like an old married couple

↳jobebellingham they fight like one as well

yourusername why do u both always look like ur being forced to smile at gun point

user ^^^ they both have such awkward smiles it’s adorable

judebellingham

liked by marcusrashford and others.

judebellingham another year of annoying you!there’s not a day goes by i don’t think about how lucky i am to have you in my life and i couldn’t imagine not exploring the world with you. my biggest supporter and even bigger inspiration, i love you always. happy birthday pretty girl🤍

load all comments.

yourusername i love u!!!

yourinstagram forever glad ur in my life🤍

↳judebellingham always🤍

jobebellingham it’s 1 minute past midnight…

↳judebellingham and what about it?

↳jobebellingham whipped bro🤣

user oh i’m crying

user this is the softest thing ever

bestfriendsuser oh u love her do u😼

user he’s so in love with her wtf🥺🥺

↳user friends can say i love u too

↳user nothing abt this post says just friendship

jobebellingham liked this comment.

bestfriendsuser liked this comment.

gioreyna liked this comment.

user happy birthday gorgeous girl!!!

user need her and jude to announce the relationship Now

user PRETTY GIRL

gioreyna oh you lurv lurv her

yourusername

liked by bestfriendsuser and others.

yourusername sluts have more fun or wtv they said

load all comments.

jobebellingham *blondes*

↳yourusername is this indirect slut shaming

↳jobebellingham you’d know if i was slut shaming u

jobebellingham happy birthday worm

user oh this cake is such a slay

user u look gorgeous happy bday queen!!

trentarnold66 happy birthday blondie❤️

judebellingham happy birthday angel🤍

↳yourusername thank u for the best day🫶🏻

user ^^ they spent the day together🥺🥺

bestfriendsuser happy bday hot stuff, another year of slutting it up🍒🍒

↳judebellingham No.

↳bestfriendsuser grow some balls and then u can have a say in this

user all that artwork and ur still the prettiest in the room

↳bestfriendsuser is this jude on his burner account

yourusername

liked by judebellingham and others.

yourusername the perfect birthday celebration🫶🏻

load all comments.

judebellingham gorgeous😍

judebellingham 🍒🍒

↳yourusername stop looking at my boobs

↳judebellingham cant they’re staring at me

user U WERE AT PARIS FASHION WEEK?

user omg jude took her to paris fashion week

↳user they’re definitely together

↳user be fr he also took jobe

↳user yeah but him and jobe weren’t pictured almost kissing at an after party

↳user OH???

bestfriendsuser im so jealous rn but u look gorge

user ur so beautiful it’s not fair

judebellingham im gonna be honest i can’t stop thinking about that first pic

↳yourusername what’re u thinking🤭

↳judebellingham cant say my mum’ll see

user oh he’s down BAD

judebellingham

liked by yourusername and others.

judebellingham 🤠

load all comments.

yourusername oh my fucking god

yourusername fits kinda slutty i’m here for it

↳judebellingham figured it was only fair i show u my tits since u showed me urs

↳jobebellingham thought i heard some peculiar noises last night

↳yourusername no idea what ur on abt

↳gioreyna oh i see i’ve got some catching up to do

user did jobe just expose them

↳user he’s probably teasing

jordanhenderson 🔥🔥

user this fit >>>

user jobe’s such a cutie

gioreyna good looking fellas

bestfriendsuser is there a reason for the neck tie

↳judebellingham fashion init

↳bestfriendsuser u sure???

↳jobebellingham must be something to do with those weird noises i heard

↳yourusername bro

user ^^^ there’s no hiding it atp SOMETHING is going on

yourusername

liked by gioreyna and others.

yourusername sorry i can’t come to the phone rn i’m watching bottles roll down stairs

load all comments.

judebellingham i’m gonna say something inappropriate

judebellingham jesus christ😍😍

↳yourusername does seeing me cry get u off?

↳judebellingham i was on abt the bikini pic but now u mention the crying… yeah kinda

user ^^^BROO😭😭

user these comments + jobe’s on jude’s last post something is defo going on between them

user jude has absolutely no shame anymore

↳user his feelings are so obvious he’s got no subtlety

trentarnold66 🥵🥵🥵

↳judebellingham bro get outta here

↳yourusername no need to fight boys there’s plenty of me to go around

↳judebellingham no there isn’t.

user im on my knees for u

judebellingham liked this comment.

bestfriendsuser god ur so hot

bestfriendsuser i wanna be u when i grow up

user if she’s dating jude he’s so lucky

judebellingham wait can u come over? i wanna watch bottles roll down stairs

↳yourusername u got cinnamon swirls?

↳judebellingham obviously so hurry up

↳yourusername yes sir

↳judebellingham 😳😳😳

yourusername

liked by trentarnold66 and others.

yourusername happy birthday starboy!! there’ll never be enough words to say how grateful i am for the chance to watch u become the man u are today. forever proud of u and everything u’ve accomplished! thank u for letting me follow u through life :)) i love u more than you’ll ever know🤍

load all comments.

judebellingham no one i want by my side more than u, i love u angel🤍

↳yourusername 🤍🤍🤍

user he always calls her pretty girl or angel but they want us to believe they aren’t in love??? okay

↳jobebellingham he calls her the missus sometimes as well its insanity

↳gioreyna snitch🤣

user jobe is such a trouble causer😭😭

user them both always using the white heart for each other makes me wanna cry

bestfriendsuser tell ur boyfriend happy birthday

↳user boyfriend???

user happy birthday jude!!!

user i refuse to believe u two aren’t sickeningly in love

gioreyna how much do u love him really

↳yourusername this🤏much

user he looks so babygirl in the second pic

↳yourusername the babygirlest babygirl

↳judebellingham get a grip u freak

judebellingham

liked by jobebellingham and others.

judebellingham 20🎉

load all comments.

yourusername FOR FREE????

yourusername put the dogs away i’m gagging

↳judebellingham i’ve got something u could gag on😏

↳yourusername small things are choking hazards

user not the feet🤢

gioreyna happy birthday bro♥️

user happy birthday❤️❤️

user this was great up until the feet pic

jobebellingham no one wants to see ur toes mate

↳gioreyna i do

↳jobebellingham sicko

karim_adeyemi happy birthday brother

trentarnold66 happy birthday❤️❤️

england happy 20th🥳

user first pic is so insane wtf

yourusername u look so pretty but don’t tell anyone

↳judebellingham i can keep a secret

user ^^^ THEYRE SO ????

yourusername

liked by judebellingham and others.

yourusername my date’s better than urs

load all comments.

user the flowers🥺🥺

user we all deserve jude bellingham

gioreyna like a DATE date?

↳yourusername soon to be decided

↳judebellingham i held the door open for her it’s a DATE date

↳bestfriendsuser if that’s the standard i’m getting my girl out of there

user confirmed date???? is it happening

user u look so pretty the eye make up is insane

user JUDE LOOKS SO FINE

bestfriendsuser most beautiful girl

↳yourusername come here i’ll kiss u silly

user if they aren’t together yet i’m going to scream

judebellingham wonder who those flowers are from🤔

↳yourusername some rando gave me them outside the restaurant

↳judebellingham was he handsome?

↳yourusername no he had a proper pubey beard

↳judebellingham it doesn’t even look like pubes anymore

user if this is them finally admitting to dating i’m gna be so happy

judebellingham

liked by bestfriendsuser and others.

judebellingham thanks for always being my muse. i love you🤍

load all comments.

gioreyna finally

jobebellingham finally

bestfriendsuser finally

karim_adeyemi finally

user IT FINALLY HAPPENED????

user i’ve waited my whole life for this post

yourusername finally🙄

yourusername didn’t ur mother ever teach u it’s rude to keep a girl waiting?

↳ judebellingham keep acting clever and see what happens

↳yourusername is that a threat🤭

trentarnold66 i should be happy but i don’t think i am

↳yourusername dw you’ll always be my favourite

↳judebellingham didn’t ur mother ever teach u it’s rude to lie?

↳yourusername she said it’s okay to lie to men

user she’s so out of ur league

judebellingham liked this comment.

yourusername liked this comment.

user we need to see the content on that camera

↳jobebellingham u really don’t

user hand placement is making me dizzy😵‍💫😵‍💫

yourusername has added to their story!

[papil0nglegs]

Can I request tf2 mercs with a reader who is genuinely terrifying. Like there quiet, sneaky, uncanny, basically reader is kinda like the mercs very own cryptid. (Bonus points if reader is tall af<3)

Boo 🤍

A/n: Spy’s is a little short here 😣 I hope you weren’t too eager to see his lol. I got a little experimental with this one, not too much tho. Also I’ll be going on another break, I know I just finished one but I’m going through an unexpected rough time rn. So sorry guys, hope you enjoy <33

Warnings: Video used may be a spoiler for s2 of scream queens, Praying is used in a humorous light

To start things off, you introduced yourself in the worst way possible. The bus that you were supposed to take got broken down so you had to find your way through the base without knowing where the entrance was. So what’d you do? Bang into a bunch of glass windows at 3am while it was RAINING. Some of the mercs were up trying to fix up the power generator and..

I saved that clip for weeks I’m so happy I have a reason to use it now

I know they’re all supposed to be big bad mercs but you scared the living FUCK out of them.

Scout

This man went running. He went all the way from the generator to the fucking bunks in the span of a minute! So what’d he do when he got to his room? He grabbed his cross necklace, got on his knees, and started PRAYING.

“Please god Jesus frickin’ Christ hear my prayers, save me-I’m sorry about all those magazines I keep under my bunk and I’m sorry that I told spy to go fuck himself when he told me I couldn’t pull bitches and I’m sorry I call girls bitches please just don’t let me friggin’ die dude!!”

He just kept chanting the same things until Miss Pauling found him cradling himself on his bed with a blanket wrapped around him.

“Scout what are you doing?”

“THERE IS A GHOST IN THE BASE.”

“Oh, you mean y/n?”

‘Hi 👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️’

Yea he was pretty freaked out by you. To make it worse, you always just stare at him. He can’t remember a single moment where he looked at you and didn’t catch your tiny pupils locked onto him.

At first he’d just gently wave awkwardly while you did the same so freakishly. Eventually he decided to say something because it was scaring him, something he’ll never admit

“Yo you got a problem or somethin’, what’s with all the stares?”

“Nothing, I just like looking at you. Your structure pleases me.”

“..oh, well that’s actually-wait I thought-hold on do you really-pfft-Yeesh, I didn’t expect you out of everyone to haha.. Yknow”

Yeah he was blushing like crazy, such a straightforward compliment.

He’s still scared of you, but he uses you as his hype man every now and then. He’ll fish for compliments and WILL receive them

“Dontcha think I got some nice racks for a guy?”

“..Totally”

He could literally walk up to you and threaten to kill you and your reaction is just “yuh go for it”

If you’re freakishly tall then he calls you tree. Cuz

If you’re on the shorter side then he would just pick you up from the shoulders and kiss you on the forehead. He knows you won’t do shit, you’re literally just 🧍‍♀️

Engineer

He didn’t even notice everyone else went running, he just kept on working on the electrical box. So when he stood up and saw you staring straight into the glass, he jumped a little but was mostly just confused

“What in the..”

“tap tap-Can you let me in?”

You’re lucky he didn’t go running like everyone else, you probably would’ve died from the flu if you spent another second outside in the freezing rain.

He puts a bell on you. He just had one laying around and tied it around the your wrist, it didn’t work because of how stiff your movements were so to ‘help’ you rang it against his ear.

“..”

“…..🔔🔔🔔🔔”

“GOD DAMN IT- oh, y/n”

“Sorry, the bell wasn’t ringing how you wanted it to so I rang it myself”

“Uh-huh, thanks for the warning partner”

From my experience southern people love to make conversation, but you aren’t really familiar with that. So when he tries to flirt it gets pretty awkward

“How’s it goin’ sugar, I reckon your looking quite nice today”

“👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️”

“..you gonna say anythin’ back?”

“Oh, um.. I like your face.”

“Woah, alright then.”

He feels so embarrassed when he stands next to your tall ass, it makes him feel belittled. Especially when you actively have to look down just to make eye contact

But if you’re short then he loves it. Finally for once he doesn’t have to be reminded of his height when standing next to anyone.

Spy

He’s gone as soon as you show up. Like straight up disappears. He doesn’t like to show fear-makes him look weak

He’s convinced you could still see him though, cuz you happen to look in his direction even while he was invisible.

You don’t scare him as much as the others, if anything he took a bit of a liking to you because you stressed him out the least compared to the others. He always stood next to you + you were always his first pick for missions

You always make small talk with him. He doesn’t enjoy it but he still responds

“What is under your mask?”

“That is none of your business.”

“Why? Do you look like me?”

Spy doesn’t know if he should feel offended or annoyed

You don’t necessarily startle him like everyone else but you do make his heart jump slightly when you pop out of nowhere, you can see it in his pupils but never his body.

Pyro

HE RAN TOO BUT DIDN’T KNOW WHY LMFAO

He just saw everyone running and went ‘oh okay we’re doing this now 🏃‍♂️’

But seriously, he fell in love with you at first sight. Your features felt so intricate to him, you always gave each other blank stares, zoning into each other’s eyes.

‘⚫️ ⚫️’

“👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️ hi”

“⚫️ ⚫️ mmf”

You’re the only person who can fully understand him. No, not using his body language, you can actually tell what he’s saying. He aw’s at that, finally someone knows what he’s saying.

It makes him more self aware than how he was before, he’ll say some really petty shit and when you react he panics

“Mmph mmm”

“um pyro I need you to calm yourself”

“Mm!”

Somehow you disturb HIM, you’ll point something out to him and talk to him like he’s crazy which makes him crazy

“Pyro, you reek of fire, it’s 30° outside, and it’s a cease day. Do you have any thoughts?”

“Mmmf mmm mph ☹️”

*plz leave me alone

Since you and him are so observant, the rest of the mercs are a little spooked by you guys. You’ll be in the corner with him watching and everyone is fairly weirded out.

“Mm mmmfmm mm”

“Pyro you’re hilarious.”

“What did thing say?”

“He said that if you were a littlest pet shop figure you’d be #508”

“..heavy is not sure what he expected”

[priyajoyyy]

Meangirl!clarisse la rue - concept [part 1]

Part 2 [here]

Mean girl!heavily inspired by renne rapps Regina George!Clarisse la rue x fem!shy!kinda a doormat!Reader

Concept for a mean girls Regina George style Clarisse and nerdy doormat reader because I'm to scared to write my first imagine rn lol

May do an actual imagine for this if it’s wanted

Warnings:

reader is kinda Aphrodite coded because I’m bias to my own cabin, but nothing is actually mentioned because it’s a school au, this is also based off of American schools but I’m British so there’s a mention of prefects because I don’t know the American equivalent 😭, poor writing (this is my first tumblr concept please be nice to me), mean!clarisse, bullying, a lot of jealous!clarisse

Meangirl!Clarisse who runs the school with an iron fist and looks so good while doing it and newgirl!reader who has no idea what she's walking into when she transfers school.

Meangirl!Clarisse with silena as her bestie and Chris as her ex.

Meangirl!Clarisse who’s captain of the football team and newgirl!reader who successfully tries out for the cheerleading team so Meangirl!Clarisse gets to watch her jump around in a tiny skirt all practice.

Meangirl!clarisse, silena and Chris all having lockers next to each other (she threatened the prefect in charge of locker assignments and had them put the three together while her and Chris were dating) and opposite newgirl!readers locker.

Silena as cheer captain who watches Meangirl!Clarisse stare at newgirl!reader everyday and who tries to get her and newgirl!reader together behind her back.

Newgirl!reader who watches Meangirl!clarisse at her locker every morning because she has a crush on her, and is way too scared of her to ever instigate anything with her.

Meangirl!Clarisse who sees this and thinks newgirl!reader has a crush on Chris so flirts with him by his locker just to piss newgirl!reader off because she’s lowkey jealous (even if she doesn’t realise) and they’re both just like, wtf? And silena who is so disappointed.

Meangirl!clarrise who eventually makes out with Chris at a party (that silena practically forced newgirl!reader to go to, she only went because she scares her too) right in front of her, and newgirl!reader is still like, why tf do you keep doing this shit like I don’t wanna see that??

Meangirl!clarisse who watches luke flirt and ask newgirl!reader out and not realising she’s too scared to say no so goes on a date with him.

Luke who changes his mind the next day, sporting an unusual bruise under his eye, while Meangirl!Clarisse walks around with a not so unusual bruised knuckle and bruise on her cheek.

Newgirl!reader who can’t drive yet so waits for her mum to pick her up after cheer everyday,

And Meangirl!Clarisse who makes excuses to stay later so that she can watch Newgirl!reader shiver in the Carpark and make a flirty comment to her as she walks past on the way to her car, with no one around to see.

Newgirl!reader who just stares, blushes and occasionally says a small thank you in response to her comments.

Silena who needs a lift home one night and makes Meangirl!clarisse to give Newgirl!reader her jacket, forcing Newgirl!reader to interact with Meangirl!Clarisse the next morning to give it back.

Meangirl!Clarisse who was late to school the next day because silena delayed them, not being able to see Newgirl!reader till practice,

And Meangirl!Clarisse who would never say it out loud, but who was thanking silena the entire time as she smirked down at Newgirl!reader stumbling over her words explaining why she had to wait to give her the jacket because she couldn’t find her all day,

And Newgirl!reader who was shellshocked and blushing while her crush told her not to worry about it, and to keep the jacket again tonight because it’s cold again.

Lowkey love this but still scared to write an actual imagine lol

Part 2 is out [here]

[juliasturnz]

“4 fucking days”

CHRIS STURNIOLO X Y/N

Hi guyss.. this is my first ever fanfic, I’m pretty insecure about it bc my first language isn’t English🙁. I really hope you will still enjoy this, have fun reading🩷🩷

A little bit inspired by the song wildflower where I’ve been obsessed with lately hihi🤭

warnings!

Mention of depression, cussing, self hating, kissing, pet names (baby, my love, sweetheart and more)

summary:

you haven’t texted your boyfriend in almost 4 days you feel horrible but you just can’t seem to call him until he comes over by himself

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ .

you’ve been feeling alot lately but it’s everything but nice and happy feelings, Chris is fully aware that you have your bad days… But you haven’t texted him in almost 4 days which is definitely a couple days longer then normally.

your phone is next to you on your fully covered disgusting tissue’s, plate’s, and atleast more then 5 cups of drinks you didn’t even finish, but your phone keeps buzzing over and over. You are getting annoyed so you pick it up to see it’s Chris. You answer the phone quickly and are a little scared even though you know Chris would treat you like a princess.

“y/n you okay baby?” His voice sounds kinda high pitched, and really worried. You hear his voice and it makes you stomach turn upside down, you realized you haven’t heard this voice in 4 fucking days.

“Hey chris.. can you come over please.” it almost sounds like you are begging him to come. “I am already on my way, I know you are going through a lot rn and I was about to visit you.” You can tell he’s worried.

it’s for a few seconds a little quiet, suddenly you start apologizing and trying to tell him what is happening “im so sorry baby I haven’t been texting or even calling you i’m so fucking stupid, i am such a dumbass I could’ve atleast done something I’m so terribly sorry.. I- I don’t know what to do.” chris is already comforting you and telling you it’s okay “y/n baby it’s okay, it really is. I’ll be here in 5 minutes that’s gonna be real soon baby, I’ll be here for you and you can cuddle with me as long as you want.” “Okay see you soon, I love you” “I love you too baby.”

You hang up and realize what a mess your room is and most of all what kind of a mess you look like, you quickly get out of bed *I need to atleast freshen up I look fucking disgusting* the second you set a foot on the ground you feel dizzy *what the fuck?* you sit down as fast as possible, ‘dang what is happening to me’ you say out loud

almost tripping over every single piece of clothing that is spread all over the floor when you finally reach the bathroom, you take a look in the mirror and let out a big sigh, I look disgusting, literally dirty. I really do need to freshen up.. you wash your face but after you do you randomly burst out into tears, I look so fucking disgusting *how does Chris even like me?* You question yourself. Not even a few seconds later you are already sitting down on the bathroom floor drowning in your thoughts, you have so many questions you can’t answer and no one else can.

you get up after drowning in your thoughts again, you look at the time. ‘FUUUCK’ you say pretty loud, ‘how is that even possible’ you realize you’ve been just zoning out for about 5 minutes.. *wait didn’t Chris say he was in 5 minutes here?*

* the bell rings *

‘ON MY WAY’ you yell from the other side of the house, you quickly run down the stairs and almost trip, *my clumsy ass can’t ever go somewhere without tripping* that thought makes you giggle a bit. You make the front door open as fast as you can, ‘hi baby,’ you say really dry reminding yourself what you look like rn. Chris hugs you as tight as possible, and gives you a soft kiss on your head. ‘Hi my love’ he looks down at you with a concerned look ‘how are you doing?’ ‘Meh’ you say dry, you don’t know what to say, you fully ghosted your boyfriend for 4 fucking days + you probably smell like shit. ‘Should we relax baby?, I’ll run you a bath for you, so you can really relax okay?’ ‘That’s okay’ You say quietly, you are so embarrassed for how you look like, and probably smell like shit.

Chris is already walking to the bathroom and looking back at you with a warm smile you missed so much, you give him the smallest smile back what you already kinda feel bad about, he sees that you feel uncomfortable and little bit embarrassed. He fully turns around and walks back to you and gives you another hug and a passionate kiss on your lips. He lifts your chin up and looks into your eyes and says ‘I don’t care how you think you look like okay? you will always be beautiful in my eyes’ he gives you another kiss on your head and grabs your arm and takes you to the bathroom.

He turns on the hot water and lets the bathtub run with a nice temperature, you sit on the toilet waiting while Chris is really busy trying to take care of everything. You can’t help but just stare at the boyfriend you’ve been looking for you intire life. He was almost done and looked to the side with the sight of you already looking at him, the noise of running bath water comforts the silence in some kind of way. ‘What are you looking at’ he giggles, ‘I just can’t believe I have you right in front of me.’ It stays quiet for about a minute with you two just staring at each other, he comes up to you and gives you that comforting kiss on your head again. When the silence finally stops he looks at you and at the bath, ‘oh fuck’ the water in the bathtub is almost overflowing. You suddenly start laughing at the sight of your boyfriend trying to fix the almost overflowing bath, you start giggling.

After a few minutes he has everything set up, the only thing you needed was your clothes. You get insecure just by the thought of him seeing your room, you get up really quick. Chris catches your stressed look, ‘y/n you okay?’ You start violently sobbing out of no where. Chris comes up to you and hugs you and shushes you ‘shh it’s okay baby’ he looks down at you, ‘do you wanna tell me what’s wrong or has being going on?’ ‘Chris i-im sorry I have no idea what’s going on, I’m g-genuinely fucked up. Everything is a mess, I’m a-a mess I look like shit my room looks like shit’ you are almost choking from sobbing and from trying to explain the horrible thoughts ‘and you are so sweet for me and I feel like I don’t deserve this and’- he interrupts you, ‘you are okay, you are loved and I’m here I don’t give shit about what your room looks like or anything in that kind of situation. All I care about is that your doing well.’ He’s looking down at you with his hands on your waist trying to tell you this while you are still violently sobbing. ‘Please just go relax in your beautiful bath I made and I’ll take care of it okay I’ll bring you clothes afterwards, I love you so much y/n.’ Chris has left the bathroom while you finally undress and go into your beautiful made bath.

About 30 minutes Chris comes into the bathroom with a clean hoodie, pyjama pants, bra and some panties, he grabs a big towel and lays it down on the toilet. He looks at you and asks you once again how your doing, while he’s asking this he comes closer and gives you another but yet comforting kiss on your cheek. You smile wide, ‘I’m doing so much better, I’m so glad you came Chris, I love you’ you say once again.

He hasn’t been yapping at all what is surprising you, with that thought slipping into your head you ask him right away. ‘Since when aren’t you yapping?’ You ask him with a little smile on your face, he looks up from his phone with a sarcastic offended look. ‘Since when are you talking during your favorite series?’ He says with a even bigger smile on his face. You are both laughing. About 5 minutes later dying laughing about other things, he started yapping right away about everything that had happened in the last 4 days. God you missed this

Another half hour passes by and you tell Chris you wanted to get out of the bath, he looks up at you with a wide smile, you lift your body up and Chris’ eyes lock right away on your body. You start giggling, he quickly looks up. ‘I-I am sorry you look good’ he says nervously ‘do I make you nervous or something?’ ‘no no I-I just’- you interrupt him with your giggles and asking for the big towel he placed on the toilet a while ago. He gets the towel and helps you dry of and tries to help you get dressed. ‘Chris babe you don’t need to help me get dressed I still have arms and hands you know.’ ‘Oh yeah.. oh wait I need to do something take your time okay?, do your makeup, skincare whatever yeah?’ while he says this he has a suspicious smile on his face, he still knows how to make me really curious.

About a hour passes and in this hour I’ve been hearing things moving, him moving around and popcorn pop.. ‘wait popcorn?’ You run down the stairs and you find him taking the popcorn out of the microwave. He turns around and is in shock when he sees you, ‘y/n oh my god. You look absolutely gorgeous.’ Your cheeks are turning insanely red, he quickly puts the popcorn down on the countertop and almost runs at you giving you kisses all over your body. When he stops he looks at you and gives you one last kiss on your lips. For a while he just keeps looking at you, you flip his hair and look curious behind him. ‘So what are you doinggg..’ he looks behind him also kinda curious completely forgetting what he was doing. ‘Oh yeah yeah wait go back to the bathroom for about 5 minutes I have something for you.’ You loved surprises so you ran to the bathroom again right away.

Five minutes has passed and Chris comes into the bathroom with a blindfold in his hand, you look at the blindfold in his hand. ‘Chris do you seriously have a blindfold?’ You say giggling ‘well yes it’s still a surprise isn’t it?’ he says shrugging his shoulders. Chris finally ties your blindfold on the back of your head, he gives you a little kiss on your lips and grabs your hand and runs out of the bedroom making you almost trip. ‘Chris!!!’ You say giggling, ‘omg I’m so sorry’ he says laughing.

when you two finally make it upstairs with a lot of tripping and falling, Chris stands proudly in front of the door of your room. ‘Take of that stupid blindfold and go look baby!’ You take your blindfold of and you look really confused at Chris’ proud face, he opens the door and your mouth falls open. ‘YOU CLEANED MY WHOLE ROOM WHAT!!’ ‘SURPRISE!!’ He says but he also did something else, you walk further to your clean room and see your whole bed filled with snacks and soda’s. ‘CHRIS WHAT THE FUUUCK!’ He looks at you with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen him with, ‘so should we watch movies then?’ He wants to look over to you but you are already on the bed trying new and eating old favorites. You spend the whole night watching your favorite and his favorite movies until you two fall asleep with your head on his chest.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ .

dang this took a pretty long fucking time, I really hope you enjoyed this, I will probably make more fanfics in the future lmk what you think about it 🩷

tags:

@042502 @sturnioz @sturnslcver @sturniluvr @strawberrysturniolo @sturniolo @sturniololoverr @sturnioloshacker @sturniolowhore @sturniolos-blog @chris-slut @chrissv4mp @chrissfawn @mattsfavbitchhh @mattspolitank @mattsgf @matts-k1tten @mattitvdes

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me As Tumblr #26

Mammon: I love NyQuil. It’s just like. Detroit become liquid. I don’t use the measure cup I just chug what feels right. I’m moving backwards through a brick wall rn

Mammon: You could fit anything in me rn I’m so relaxed

Mammon: For sure gonna shit the bed tonight

Lucifer: You’ve summed up NyQuil in a way that most could not

Mammon: Hello

•

Belphegor: Cheat mode

Close your eyes and you can play any game in your mind, even paper Mario

Leviathan: Paper Mario is trash

Belphegor: Close your eyes and imagine yourself being a more likable person, and then open them and weep

•

Asmodeus: How slutty would you say you are?

Leviathan: In theory? Very. In practice? Not at all. I’m lazy

Simeon: The sprit is willing but the flesh is weak

•

Mammon: The names practice

Mammon: Mal practice

MC: Nice to meet you Dr Practice, can you please tell me what’s wrong with my son :)

Mammon: He needs surgery on all of his bones

•

MC: Me giving my Chihuahua two kisses: Chimuahmua

Luke: Bad post

MC: Sorry it didn’t make you Chihaha

•

Lucifer: Don’t ever call me OP you will adores me by my full name

Satan: Obert Pobert

Leviathan: Obiwan Penobi

•

Leviathan: Haha not to scare anyone but the hell does beyond in bed bath and beyond stand for?

Leviathan:

Me: what’s ‘beyond’

Employee: *snaps my neck* go find out

Solomon: As a former bed bath and beyond employee, I appreciate this

Leviathan: What the hell and fuck are you implying

•

Belphegor: I crawl into bed

Sheets: made

Pillows: fluffed

Lights: out

Belphegor: I am forcibly removed from ikea

•

Mammon: What’s a gender neutral word you could use for your spouse? Wusband? Hife?? Wifesband?!?!?!

Mammon: I may be stupid

Satan: This is the text version of looking for your glasses when they are on your head

•

Satan: Could you please put your crying kid on vibrate

Mammon: I CANT STOP LAUGHING BC I JUST IMAGINE THIS KID SCREAMING AND THE MOM PULLS A REMOTE OUT OF HER MOM-BAG AND PRESSES A BUTTON AND THE CHILD JUST STARTS TO VIOLENTLY SHAKE AND THE LOOK OF TERROR ON THE KIDS FACE AS THEY TRY TO MAKE NOISE BUT THEY JUST VIBRATE DEAR GOD

•

Diavolo: The fact that makeup is considered to be “mature” and “sexualized” implies that being a clown or mime is the sluttiest job out there

•

MC: Remember kids: rats are the Capri sun of the vampire world

Barbatos: Hi what the FUCK does this mean

•

Beelzebub: This is so funny with and without context

Beelzebub: I forgot to add the picture

•

Solomon: Knuckle tattoos that say ESCAPED BIOHAZARD

Asmodeus: That’s way too many letters do you have radiation poisoning or something?

Asmodeus: Oooooh

•

Simeon: Gangman style came on the radio again

Satan: This sounds like a post-apocalyptic diary entry

•

MC: Bed bath and behind you

Solomon: Bed bath and beware

Last • Next

[leclercvsx]

I miss your facts | TEXTING AU

LANDO NORRIS

pairings: lando x reader

summary: y/n and lando are bestfriends, y/n liking lando. She introduces him to one of her bestfriends, he forgets about her and only realises what he missed when it’s too late

warnings: mentions of suicide!

y/n <3

did you know that some sharks can’t stop swimming otherwise they’ll die?

Lan <3

that’s useful, thanks

y/n <3

EXACTLY! i knew i was needed

Lan <3

you’re always needed

11:23am | thursday

y/n <3

i miss you, can you come over after training?

Lan <3

i will, might be a little while though

y/n <3

don’t take tooo long

14:56pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

did you know that there’s over 500 different species of sharks?

Lan <3

i didn’t know that, no. cool

y/n <3

OH ALSO

there’s a new girl at my work, she’s super nice

you should come meet her!

Lan <3

i might

10:35am | Saturday

Lan <3

you were right, Taylor is actually really nice

y/n <3

SEE? I TOLD YOU

me and her are gonna hang out on tuesday if you wanna come

Lan <3

sure

16:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

australia is wider than the moon

you should tell Oscar that

Lan <3

Taylor told me that

y/n <3

oh really? wow she really knows her facts!

Lan <3

yeah, she’s pretty smart

18:18pm | Saturday

y/n <3

do you wanna hang out?

i’m bored

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor rn

y/n <3

oh, nevermind then😊

12:25pm | Sunday

y/n <3

human teeth are the only body part that cannot heal themselves

Lan <3

i know, Taylor told me

y/n <3

it’s illegal to own just ONE guinea pig in switzerland

Lan <3

Taylor’s from Switzerland, she told me

17:34pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

the heart of the shrimp is located in the head!

Lan <3

the shrimps heart is located in the head

y/n <3

haha, we said the same thing!!

Lan <3

Taylor told me the fact, haha

y/n <3

ohh

9:27am | Thursday

y/n <3

do you have time? i really wanna talk about something

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor right now, but what’s up?

y/n <3

oh okay, nevermind then :)

17:26pm | Monday

Lan <3

octopuses are so weird, they’re cool looking though

y/n <3

i thought you hated octopuses?

Lan <3

i did before.

but Taylor told me some cool facts about them

y/n <3

i did that with sharks🙃

14:27pm | Friday

y/n <3

you’ve been hanging out with Taylor a lot

Lan <3

anything wrong?

y/n <3

nothings wrong, i just miss you

Lan <3

i’m not leaving you though.

y/n <3

no, i know

13:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

hiiii! do you wanna hang out?

hello?

read

16:56pm | Wednesday

Lan <3

sorry i was hanging out with Taylor

y/n <3

i know.

Lan <3

why are you mad?

y/n <3

i’m not?

Lan <3

why is it so wrong that i’m hanging out with her?

18:34pm | Sunday

y/n <3

you’re forgetting me.

lando

i’m not though?

hello?

answer me.

i’m not forgetting you.

14:30pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

you’re all i have, had.

lando

why are you using dots? don’t scare me

y/n <3

is Taylor all you needed?

lando

stop.

17:25pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

i’m sorry

lando

for what?

stop leaving me on read, please.

stop scaring me.

you’re not funny.

18:45pm | Thursday

lando

i miss you

i was dumb

i’m really sorry

Venus is the only planet to spin clockwise

i really wanted to tell you, i miss your facts. i love you. i hope one day we meet again

you could’ve told me about Taylor. i reread our messages, i saw that you needed me

i’m sorry

12:34pm | Sunday

lando

you looked really pretty at your funeral today

i miss you

pez candles were made for you, so you could stop smoking

i could smell it on you before, now i miss it.

3:34am | Tuesday

lando

sharks skin feels like sandpaper.

7:17am | Wednesday

lando

sharks are one of the oldest living species on the earth.

but you knew that, right?

——————————

this made me sob writing it😭

ib: this tiktok

masterlist | request page

[whyse7vn]

NICE ERA -

[ ot7 x reader ] > pt one HERE

🍼👨🏼‍🦲⁉️

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

yoongi: love you guys

jimin: are you killing yourself or something?

jk: 😧

yoongi: no i just love you guys

jk: i think yoongi is killing himself 😣

namjoon: here if you want to talk

yoongi: can i not just say i love you guys?

y/n: holy shit

yoongi r u killing urself????

yoongi: no i’m just spreading love

hobi: WOAH WHAT THE HELL

YOONGI ARE YOU DYING??

yoongi: no

jk: pls don’t kys yoongi 😢☹️💔

jin: yoongi is being more open with his feelings guys

hobi: his suicidal ones?

tae: pouring one out for you yoongi 🍾🥂

jin: no just his love for us all

isn’t that right yoongi??

yoongi: right

hobi: nothing about this is right

jk: i’m so scared rn 😓

y/n: is he drunk???

jin: on love!!

yoongi: on love.

namjoon: ew yoongi man what the fuck??

yoongi: we should all have a sleepover at my house like we did on kooks birthday

it will be fun

jimin: uhhhhhhhhhh

hobi: i’m literally shaking in fucking fear rn

yoongi: i’ll order food

tae: are you gonna poison it

yoongi: why would i do that?

tae: guys….

namjoon: in shock

y/n: jin done performed a lobotomy on yoongi ohmygod ☠️☠️☠️

jin: i did no such thing

jk: yoongi look at me this isn’t you

yoongi please

yoongi: hi jungkook

jk: MAKE IT STOP

GUYS MAKE IT STOP WHY IS HE BEING NICE MAKE IT STOP

namjoon: yoongi are you like actually ok?

yoongi: perfect

tae: have i shifted to an alternate universe

jk: shift

tae: night shift

jimin: you need one

tae: no i don’t

jimin: ok mr wire me 10k

tae: that was ages ago thank u very much

get over it

but guys tell him i have money tho lol

yoongi: jimin tae has money

tae: STOP iT???????

y/n: this is so unsettling

yoongi: isn’t it nice us all being together

having fun

and stuff

tae: what is stuff?

pls elaborate on stuff

jk: maybe joon gave yoongi cocaine

namjoon: shut up

tae: yoongi when you say stuff do you mean cocaine?

yoongi: love

us being together

friendship

we are friends

jk: yoongi can i be your best friend

yoongi: you are my best friend jungkook

jk: :D

yoongi: :D

jk: nvm this is really scary sorry

jk left “🍼👨🏼‍🦲⁉️”

tae: i agree

tae left “🍼👨🏼‍🦲⁉️”

yoongi: i miss you all

let’s go out to eat tomorrow yeah?

i can pay idm

jin: YESS IM IN

jimin: ofc ur in

yoongi: guys let’s not argue

jimin: ewuuuuu shut up

namjoon added tae to “🍼👨🏼‍🦲⁉️”

namjoon added jk to “🍼👨🏼‍🦲⁉️”

yoongi: welcome back ^^

jk: STOP

tae: i’m gonna throw up

jin: please accept the new yoongi

jk: NO

y/n: yoongi have you experienced any serious head trauma in the last 24 hours?

yoongi: no

hobi: i think he’s lying

yoongi: let’s all drink together today

jk: NONONONO

yoongi: oh do you have plans today jungkook?

we can move it to the weekend if you want

jk: girlfriendsaveme 😨

y/n: yoongi….

yoongi: yeah?

tae: yoongi send me a stack

jimin: LMAO u not getting that

yoongi: sure

jimin: fake

tae: HOLY SHIT YOONGI JUST SENT ME MONEY GUYS???

namjoon: oh my god….

hobi: he’s truly lost it

y/n: no fucking way

jimin: WAIT YOONGI ME NEXT HELLO????

yoongi: kk

jimin: I JUST GOT MONEY OHMGODDJJD

jin: isn’t this nice guys??

isn’t yoongi nice??

tae: yeah yoongi ur the best

jimin: love you yoongi

nicest man ever

yoongi: :3

namjoon: oh

yoongi: what can i say

jk: words probably

yoongi: i love my team

i love my crew

namjoon: oh wow

y/n: did he just….

hobi: MIN YOONGI JUST QUOTED SEVENTEEN?/!/£3

jimin: this is insane

jk: our biggest enemies in this life…

tae: WOWWWWWWWWW

jin: so proud!!

how mature how nice !!

jk: i’m going to commit murder and it’s going to be on myself

tae: i think i just threw up

hobi: yoongi you know woozi is in that group right?

yoongi: yes

jimin: and mingyu

the one she went a date with btw

y/n: stop

yoongi: i know.

hobi: he’s mad

yoongi: no i’m not

namjoon: it’s ok if you’re mad yoongi

y/n: no it’s not

jk: yoongi pls be mad

yoongi: i’m not mad

y/n: he’s not mad

jimin: normally he would be mad

yoongi: well i’m not mad so

jin: right he’s a changed man

namjoon: why?

yoongi: what

namjoon: why are you being nice

it’s like freaking us all out

jk: so much 😣

yoongi: i am nice normally

hobi: well no!

yoongi: i am nice

jimin: again no!!

tae: not even 24 hours ago yoongi told me to kms

yoongi: it was a joke

tae:

jimin: publicly executed is crazy

tae: right like omg?

jimin: understandable tho

tae: ok no

yoongi: it was a joke

tae: DIDN’T laugh

jk: yoongi punched me once

twice

three times actually

yoongi: as a joke

jin: guys let’s not focus on yoongi’s past but his present

and his present is nice!

jk: present

y/n: ?????

HELLO WHAT

YOONGI PUNCHED KOOK???

yoongi: as a joke

y/n: WHEN???? NAMJOON DID YOU KNOW?????????

namjoon: no actually i didn’t

jin: y/n joon ur in the past pls join us in the present

yoongi’s present

jk: i want the present

where is the present

yoongi: i’m nice

jk: i can travel to the present if need be

hobi: i’m confused

tae: in what context

hobi: this context ??

tae: oh ok

hobi: what other context is there

tae: sexually

namjoon: why is everything sexual with you?

hobi: sexuality by taemin lol

jimin: WHERE

tae: gay

jk: gay means happy

namjoon: guys

y/n: girls

jk: jimin are you not happy?

tae: jimin are you gay?

jimin: shut up

tae: me when taemin doesn’t call me back pt 407

jimin: why would taemin be calling you

tae: LOL

namjoon: guys enough

tae: one taemin mention he looses his mind you see that guys

namjoon: taehyung

tae: ok sorry

hobi: i’m still confused

NOT sexually

jk: i hope we are all gay (happy) toady!!

yoongi: me too

jimin: (kill yourself)

tae: (taemin)

jk: tae

min

tae min

tae in a min

tae in a minute

jimin x taehyung in a minute

y/n: fork in kitchen

hobi: oh ok

jimin: EW????

tae: that’s my name lol

WAIT WTF

ME AND HIM ????????

I KISS NO MEN

jk: one time you kissed me

tae: ON ACCIDENT

hobi: “accident”

yoongi type “accident”

yoongi: punching jungkook WAS an accident

tae: GUYS ME KISSING JUNGKOOK WAS FR AN ACCIDENT LIKE JOKE

jimin: yeah ok

namjoon: sighs

y/n: liar!!

tae: I WAS KNOCKING AT Y/NS DOOR CUZ WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT

AND WHEN THE DOOR OPEN I JUST WENT FOR THE KISS OK? EYES CLOSED AND EVERYTHING

jimin: sounds like he likes men to me

tae: NO

I DONT I JUST

STOP

DIDNT KNOW ITVWAS JUNGKOOK UNTIL I PULLED AWAY

jk: it’s ok my lips are very soft like that

y/n: fact

tae: NO ITS NOT OK

jin: wait that’s lowkey so crazy cuz how didn’t you notice the height difference

kook is like way taller than her

tae: thought she was wearing heels

y/n: it was 10 in the morning..

hobi: hold on

you didn’t know it was jungkook until you pulled away…

….

…….

……….

jungkook why did you let tae kiss you?

jk: i thought he was coming out to me

and i’m no homophobe !!!!

i didn’t know if that’s was a normal thing people did when they come out so i just let him do it

because like if i didn’t let him i didn’t want him to take that as me not supporting him yk?

i support him so yeah

idk

i was really confused

and no i didn’t kiss him back

i kinda just stood there

like

🧍🏻‍♂️

that and yeah

and he was all like “don’t be like that babe” and when he pulled away he screamed fell to his knees and then left

tbh i thought it was a dream

but i guess not

namjoon: how long did the kiss last?

tae: NAMJOON

namjoon: sorry just wanted to know

jk: maybe like 15 seconds

i think my lack of kissing back got to him

jimin: THATS CRAZY LMWKEORIFJFN

hobi: homophobe turned homosexual

tae: I AM NONE OF THOSE

jk: if it makes you feel better the kiss was really bad ur lips were really dry

tae: DON’T DESCRIBE MY LIPS SHUT UPLD

y/n: LMAO

tae: STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS LETS GO BSCK TO THE ORIGINAL TOPIC

YOONGI

YOONGI WYA

YOONGI HELLO

YOONGI

yoongi: i support you

hobi: #somuchsupoort

jimin: so brave

y/n: be who you are

namjoon: 👍🏼

jin: !!

jk: i support you for who you are❤️🧡🤍🩷❤️ (idk the flag )

y/n: lesbian

jk: really 😨

y/n: yeah

jk: but you kiss me 🙁

y/n: what

jk: i can be a woman for you

namjoon: okay !!!!!

enough sexuality talk

um yeah

yoongi say something

yoongi: i love you all

namjoon: omg…

jimin: ew man

hobi: gross

jk: i feel lightheaded

tae: gagging

y/n: 😟

jin: ok i’m not enjoying this as much as i thought i would i must say

yoongi: ?

jimin: ‘i must say’ 💀💀💀

hobi: bet he stroked his nonexistent beard while saying that

jimin: likeeee 😭😭😭

jin: can i live

there was literally nothing wrong with what i said

yoongi: right

jin: STOP

sorry force of habit

yoongi: don’t be upset with me jin

i’m sorry

y/n: yoongi

talk to us

normally

please

yoongi: i’m nice

y/n: i’m aware

yoongi: i’m being nicer

y/n: why

jin: wait omg let’s move on

isn’t it such a nice day lmao

yoongi: great weather we’re having

jin: summer sure is coming!!

hobi: ewww

y/n: this old people conversation ☠️☠️

jimin: imagine what their dms look like

jk: yikes

yoongi: jungkook

jk: sorry

yoongi im sorry

i actually meant

(Y)es (I) (K)now (E)very conversation they have is (S)uper cool

yikes

yoongi: thanks

just wanted to say i like your hair

jk: oh

jimin: his hair has been the same for like the last 5 months

yoongi: i know

just wanted him to know i like it because he’s my friend and he has nice hair

jk: wow

ok

is this real

wow

GUYS

yoongi likes my hair

y/n: wow

jk: YOONGI MY FRIEND

guys at first the new yoongi was really scary but now i think i like him

he’s my friend

pls be kind to MY FRIEND

MY BEST FRIEND

jimin: i still hate his yoongi tell me to kms right now before i do something crazy

tae: please

hobi: no joke

namjoon: yoongi i understand that you are being ‘nice’ now but i hope you don’t lose your true self and personality in this new chapter of your life

y/n: what joon said

jin: yoongi tell us what you like about ME next

ik it’s like really hard so i’ll let you pick 5

yoongi: jin i like

your

um

hold on can we talk about out contracts for one second

hobi: ohmugod guys he’s killing himself fr now

jimin: it was fun while it lasted bro

namjoon: sure

jin: NO WE CANT NO

yoongi: we’re all renewing right?

jk: yes bff ^^

jin: STOP

tae: yeah

hobi: yes sighs looks out window

jimin: thumbs up

namjoon: ofc??

y/n: lol i already renewed

yoongi: what

namjoon: are you thinking about not renewing??

jin: GUYS STOROORIRNRJIRJ

yoongi: y/n

you already renewed???

y/n: yeah?

yoongi: you’re not leaving

y/n: no…

yoongi: were you thinking about leaving?

y/n: no?

yoongi: so you didnt tell jin you i wish nicer????

y/n: lol no

didn’t jin say that in this gc himself like a few weeks ago lmao?

jin left “🍼👨🏼‍🦲⁉️”

yoongi: bye

going to find jin

yoongi left “🍼👨🏼‍🦲⁉️”

jk: um

yoongi joined “🍼👨🏼‍🦲⁉️”

yoongi: also jungkook you are not my best friend all of you can kill yourselves i’ve never prayed on anyone’s downfall as much as i do for all of yours i can’t believe this is my life ur all so annoying taehyung you WILL die the most painful death i promise you if any of you mention this day to anyone ever i will have your nudes on every website known to man and your address on twitter

fuck you all

yoongi left “🍼👨🏼‍🦲⁉️”

tae: does he know twitter is x now?

y/n: he didn’t mean that

he’s just a little upset

hobi: rip jin

jimin: how the hell does he have MY nudes

tae: didn’t know he was freaky like that 😈👅

hobi: bet you did

man kisser

tae: STOP

jk: best friend…

y/n: he still is your best friend kook he’s just upset at jin rn!!

jk: really?

y/n: yeah!!

jimin: she lying

y/n: SHUT UP

namjoon: so jin told yoongi that y/n was leaving the group because he’s mean

so to get her to say he was nice to us

jimin: glad your following joon

namjoon: ew

hobi: right?

namjoon: okay

cant believe we experienced that

let’s just sleep this one off boys

and girl

jimin: awoman to that

hobi: i have to smoke after this geez

jk: y/n pls hold me i’m traumatised

y/n: on my way

tae: ok but how did he add himself back into the gc tho…

—

didn’t even plan this but look jin did fr do this for HIMSELF LMAO

yoongi dumb as hell for not remembering this

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @blairebangtan @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @batukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae

[changisworld]

"things felix says during sex" by any chance? (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)

OF COURSE

writing this while in my college class rn is brave of me

18+, minors don’t read past this point

main masterlist here

SUB FELIX

“y/nnie, s-so good” he mewls as his eyes scrunch shut as you finally mouth him all the way to his base

“p-pulease don’ sto-op” as you’re pinching his balls as you suckle on the underside of his cock, his hips twitching from the painful pleasure

“c-can i cum now mom-ommy?” he pleads, his eyes leaking almost as much as his now purple tip as you edge him for the countless time.

“no m’re, s-still sensi’ve” he screeches, voice raspy & scratchy due to the noise he’s been making, being overstimulated as you continue riding him despite him just cumming inside you.

“lemme taste, lixie been so good, havent I?” he gives you puppy eyes as he fiddles with your shirt, not daring to move it unless you say otherwise. Once you give him the go ahead, he instantly begins suckling on your nipples, somehow whining more than you as your fingers find themselves wrapping in his hair.

“please kiss me, please mommy” he begs as you pull him by the hair away from your pussy & pulling him towards you, him now on top of you, centimetres away from your lips, his all red & covered in your juices along with your chin

“s-so ti-tight mama, t-thank you” he squeals as you finally let him position himself inside you. A second later you feel him already cumming. As punishment you put a cockring on him & rub his tip & balls so much until it’s completely purple & you’re scared incase he passes out (he doesn’t, of course, he’s too much of a good boy.)

DOM FELIX

“is this all you’ve got hmm? for someone who begs so much you’re not very good at it are you? you can take a bit more can’cha?” he snarks at you, looking down at the sight in front of him, you on your knees on the hard floor, gagging & drooling everywhere as you try to deepthroat him.

“stop trying to run baby, you wanted it, i’m sure you can take it, stop squirming.” He groans as he pulls your hips back onto him with a tight grip, not letting you try push yourself away as his hips keep pistoning your hole with no remorse, your arms giving out & face planting into the bed.

“Don’t even think about cumming on my fingers or cock if you can’t show me how you do it when you’re alone mkay?” he says with his deep voice, sat on the edge of the bed facing you as you grind helplessly on his pillow, your eyes watering & your cheeks flushed, not being able to find the high you so desperately need.

“say thank you. say thank you to the only person who’s made you feel this kinda pleasure. say. it.” He groans as he pulls you by the hair so your back is now against his chest, his hips not slowing. You are a babbled mess & can’t comprehend what’s even going on, feeling his teeth graze over your neck sends you into yet another orgasm a few seconds later.

“That was a loooong one, wasn’t it babe?” he questions with a smirk on his lips as he pulls yet another orgasm out of you with his skilled tongue & fingers, letting you squirt on his face & bed, still not slowing down as you are falling into a floaty space from all the pleasure you’re experiencing.

“thaats it, biiggg stretch” he speaks as he caresses your hand, holding it in his own as he uses the other to begin pushing a two fingers into your already dripping hole while his cock is already wrapped up nice & warm there, stretching you more than you have before. He is imagining how far he can stretch your cunt

I cant imagine felix as a hard dom at all so this is the best i can come up with🥲

This photo of felix makes me want to squeeze him whys he so HDBDBSSKAKABASB

[bruisedboys]

hello!!! i saw that you write for bradley and i’m OVER THE MOON RN. could i possibly request a hurt/comfort fic with a shy!plus size! reader combo? maybe a first date scenario where bradley is super late to said date and reader thinks he stood her up or asked her out as a joke so she goes home super embarrassed like “why did i think i could be w him in the first place??” bradley is devastated because he’s liked this girl for so long and he just blew it but he’s able to get her back in the end 🤩 please and thank you!!

hello angel!! thank u so so much for the sweet request, I hope it’s okay! mwah

bradley bradshaw x shy!fem!plus-size!reader cw for body insecurities

You stare at yourself in the mirror, miserable. You haven’t cried yet, but the way your stomach looks in this top might be your breaking point. You’d actually felt pretty, earlier in the evening, all dolled up in your new clothes. But then you’d waited an agonising 45 minutes at the restaurant for Bradley to show up, only to realise he wasn’t coming and you’d made a complete fool of yourself. Now you just feel ugly and so, so embarrassed.

Why would he even want me? You think, glaring at your body in the mirror. You lift your top and squeeze a handful of your soft stomach cruelly, half wishing you could rip it clean off. He probably asked you as a joke, you suppose. And you were stupid enough to buy into it.

A single, hot tear rolls down the slope of your cheek.

You’re wiping at it angrily when there’s a loud, sharp knock on your door. You flinch. It’s enough to scare you out of your miserable state, at least. You freeze, thinking maybe if you ignore it, whoever it is will leave you alone.

“Y/N?”

Bradley? You recognise his voice immediately and your heart climbs to your throat. What is he doing here? Did he not just stand you up? Is he here to antagonise you further? You creep out into the entryway, where Bradley’s voice is clearer. He bangs on the door again.

“Y/N, honey,” he’s saying. He sounds stressed and a little desperate. “I know you probably hate me right now, but please would you come to the door? I really need to talk to you.”

You feel as though an invisible force is pulling you towards the door, towards Bradley. You don’t know why on earth you do it, but you lift a hand and open the door.

Bradley stands on your doorstep, in jeans and a nice linen shirt that doesn’t have an ugly Hawaiian print, for once. His aviators hang from the collar. He’s still strikingly handsome even though you’re upset with him.

“Y/N,” he breathes out. He lowers his fist from where he’d been rapping on your poor door. “Hey. Hi.”

You shift on your socked feet and grip the door handle like it’s your lifeline. “Hello.”

Bradley gives you a look akin to devastation. “Listen, honey. I’m so, so sorry about our date. I got caught up at work, and then my car wouldn’t start, so I had to— hey, are you crying?”

Unfortunately, you are. Why now? You think to yourself. Warm, salty tears spill over your lower lashes against your will. You scrub at your cheeks harshly. Bradley frowns at you.

“Hey. Hey, don’t.” He steps forward and takes your wrists in his hands. He encourages your hands from your face and replaces them with his own, thumbs swiping at your hot tears. He’s a hundred times more gentle than you had been.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he says softly. “I feel like such a dick … I’ve had a crush on you for ages and ages and now I’ve made you cry.” He pulls you into a hug and gives a self deprecating sort of laugh, rubbing your back in quick, smooth sweeps. “What kind of loser am I?”

You sniffle. His hug is overwhelmingly warm. You feel a bit dumbfounded, and wonder if you’ve heard him right.

“You—“ you swallow around the lump in your throat and pull back out of his arms. “You have a crush on me?”

Bradley gives you a look of confusion, his hands on your shoulders. “Well, yeah, honey,” he says. His brings his thumb up to swipe at a tear collecting in the corner of your eye. “That’s why I asked you out.”

You blink at him. So … it wasn’t a joke? He didn’t do it to make fun of you? “I— are you serious?”

Bradley frowns at you. His eyebrows pinch in the middle. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Well, that’s the big question, isn’t it? You draw a shaky breath. “I don’t know, I guess because I’m not— I mean, I’m not really like other girls, Brad.”

Bradley continues to look even more confused than before. “So?” He asks, incredulous. “That’s why I like you so much, babe.”

What? This is not how you thought this would go. Why isn’t he getting it?

“But— but I’m big,” you say, feeling a bit sick. You don’t like to call yourself big, you know it doesn’t matter, but it’s the only way to make Bradley understand. “I don’t have a nice body. And. And I’m too quiet. I thought maybe you didn’t turn up because …”

You trail off. Because I’m fat. Because I’m shy. Because you’re lean and handsome and I’m nowhere near to being in your league. All things you’ve been thinking since he didn’t show up to your date. You don’t say them out loud, but they hang in the air between you and Bradley like burning hot stars anyway.

Bradley stares at you hard. You feel the heat of your confession on your neck, your cheeks.

“Honey,” he says, serious and sweet simultaneously. “Sweet girl. I’m so sorry I made you feel that way.”

You duck your head. The way he’s looking at you is too much. If he keeps this up you’ll be a puddle in seconds.

“It’s not your fault,” you say quietly. It’s not. Really, it’s your own for assuming the worst of him.

“Doesn’t matter,” Bradley says firmly. “I upset you, didn’t I? I’m really sorry.” He slides his hand under your chin. You know you have more pudge there than another girl would. And yet, you find you don’t mind his touch as much as you feared you would. “Would you look at me?”

Shy, you tilt your head up with the help of his gentle hand until you’re meeting his eyes. You’re struck, suddenly, by how close he is.

Bradley smiles. He’s so, so handsome you almost feel sick by it.

“I really like you,” he says, earnest. “So much. I don’t mind that your body is different. Everyone’s body is different, isn’t it? It’s not a bad thing, and I happen to really like how you look. You’re beautiful exactly the way you are.”

You blink rapidly. Your chest feels like it’s on fire. You don’t think you’ve ever been spoken to in such an honest tone, with such lovely words. It sets you aflame from the inside out. You’re melting, a lovesick puddle of a girl.

“I don’t mind that you’re quiet, either,” he says, and somehow he’s just getting lovelier by the second, and you can’t believe you ever thought he had ill intentions when he’s being so achingly kind to you. “I think I talk quite enough for the both of us, don’t you?”

You laugh, breathless. You’re hyper aware of his hand on your face, of his chest where it’s inches from yours. Normally you’d feel self conscious with another person so close to you, your insecurities on display in full. With Bradley, and the way he’s looking at you, soft brown eyes and a kind smile, you feel special. A flower blooms in your chest, rearing towards Bradley like he’s the sun.

“I’m so sorry for ruining our first date,” Bradley says in a low voice. He brings a hand to your waist. You feel his heat through your clothes. He’s touching you like you’re something precious, like porcelain or starlight. “Do you think you could give me another chance?”

Well, when he asks like that, you know you couldn’t say no even if you wanted to.

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Can you do axl rose and slash too (safe words)

A/n: I will never get over Slash's obsession with tits. I also cannot explain how much I love the thought of him just using anyone as a pillow because I know he's prone to falling asleep wherever he can

Please someone request something for Slash, I love him too much rn :'3

Warnings: Smut, angst, use of safe words (There's technically no use of a safe word in Slash's but it's kind of implied? There's a boundary that's definitely crossed), bondage, smoking (Slash attempts to burn reader with his cigarette), oral sex (male receiving), if there's anything you think I missed please let me know otherwise enjoy :3

Axl was an interesting man, for sure. You’d met at a club and after just a few weeks of seeing each other he asked if he could move in. He explained that his band was just getting going and he didn’t have a place other than a storage unit on Gardner that his band used as a house/party room/practice place, knowing that you were much more open to letting him crash with you.

Things were going fine between you two. You’d wake up and make breakfast, not because of any other reason than Axl wasn’t awake until about noon on most days, which you didn’t mind either because it meant you got to see him so peaceful and calm.

Fast forward to now. You’d fallen asleep with Axl beside you. He’d been whining all day about one thing or another, obviously trying to get something but he was too stubborn to say what it was and nothing he did gave you a clue either.

In the middle of the night you woke up to some strange noises and an odd feeling. The room was completely dark because something was covering your eyes, you tried to move it but found that your arms were tied, your legs too.

“Axl?” You called in an attempt to find out what was going on and whether you should start worrying or not.

“What is it?” Axl’s familiar deep voice answered, sounding somewhat distant.

“What are you doing?” You asked, trying to move again to no avail. You felt a weight on the bed, signalling that Axl had gotten on the mattress and was sitting beside you. He ran his hand over your bare stomach, you preferred sleeping in just your underwear and Axl was in no way opposed to that. Now you were rethinking that idea.

“Having some fun, don’t worry about it.” Usually that deep voice of his was nice, it could calm you or bring that familiar warmth to the pit in your stomach. Now it just scared you. You couldn’t see, couldn’t move, you were fully at his mercy.

“I am. Axl, I am worried about it.” You stated, struggling against the restraints again. “Axl, I’m serious.” Axl got on top of you, your legs were already spread thanks to what you assume to be rope around your ankles.

“Shut up and be good for me, will you? That’s what you’re good for.” He hooked your legs over his, from what you could feel he’d already stripped himself down to nothing.

“Axl, we could do something if you’d just get me out of this.” You told him. The ginger lined himself up with you and pushed in despite your complaints. The feeling reminded you of many times before, this isn’t the first time Axl’s ever woken you up for sex but it was the most worrying time. Usually it would just be him fucking your thighs, or he’d just outright wake you up and tell you he was horny. Never had he even mentioned that this was something he’d be into. It certainly wasn’t something you were into, not right now at the very least.

“Fuck, always so tight for me.” The ginger groaned as he rocked his hips into you. “My perfect little slut.” He held your face in his hand, squishing your cheeks together and opening your mouth. You weren’t sure what he was doing until you heard a ‘patoo’, then you felt this cold liquid on your tongue. He spat in your mouth.

You violently thrashed against him and the restraints. “Get me the fuck out of this you fucking bitch!” You screamed. Axl quickly took the cloth covering your eyes off and tossed it away.

“Jesus Christ, better now?” He groaned. You glared up at him as you tried to think of anything that could get him to stop.

“Pumpkin!” You yelled. Something flicked in him, you could see it in his eyes even in the dark room. He wasn’t looking at you with lust or hatred, that line you were never really sure if he crossed whenever things got hot between you two. There was a disappointment in his eyes. Not in you but himself.

Axl pulled out and got the ropes taken off of you. He pulled on a pair of pants and found you one of his shirts for you to put on before he left the room.

You threw the shirt on and went out to find him.

Axl was on the couch, rocking himself slightly. His head was down and he was staring at the floor, refusing to make eye contact with you.

You went over to him and sat beside him on the couch. You leaned your head on his shoulder and put a hand on his back, gently rubbing it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He blurted, still not looking at you.

“Didn’t mean to do what?” You asked in a soft voice.

“I-I don’t even know...” He said, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. You reached for them and held them in your own. “I just... I thought it would be fun.” You nodded in understanding.

“It wasn’t.” He rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Yeah, I got that.” Finally he looked up at you. For a moment he just looked at you, then he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, kissing your forehead and cheek and nose, pretty much anywhere he could reach in this hold. “I’m sorry I made you say that.”

“You could’ve just said something earlier.” You mumbled, looking at his face and just taking in his features.

“I know.” He let out a heavy sigh. “So,” he started, “wanna give me a blow job?” He asked with a smile. You swatted the back of his head and stood up, walking back to the room. Axl followed and wrapped his arms around you.

Your boyfriend was touring and after months of dating but not going on the road with him you finally got the chance to actually come with him.

The separation was not the ideal circumstance for either of you and you called all the time, every day and night you’d be getting calls from him asking how you’ve been. At night the calls usually took a turn to more sexual areas, you were alone and needy and so was he.

The crew going with Guns was the real issue, they wanted to save as much money as possible, even if it wasn’t necessary. That meant that you wouldn’t be getting a free pass on the plane with the band. Slash had offered to pay for your ticket but you refused because you didn’t know when you’d be able to pay him back. But all of that was behind you now and you were finally on the road with the band.

It was right before one of their headlining shows and Slash was backstage with you in his dressing room. You were on the couch and he asked if you’d give him a blow job before he went on. You didn’t want to at first because you didn’t think you’d have time but Slash promised you would, and so you did.

You were on your knees sucking him off, you could tell he was enjoying it by the faces he was making. You knew if you really wanted to you could make him a whining little mess but you were focused on speed right now.

While you were busy bobbing your head on his length he got a cigarette out and lit it. Nothing out of the ordinary, Slash was a known chainsmoker. You watched his euphoric expression and the way his head fell back as smoke drifted past his lips and into the air.

Then he looked back down at you with this expression that you just couldn’t place. He had this smirk as he looked down at you. “You’re so pretty, you know that?” He asked, not expecting an answer while your mouth was full of him. You caught his gaze wandering to the cigarette between his fingers. “Think I could make you hotter?” You raised a brow at him.

“What?” You asked as you pulled back. The exact moment you did so Slash tapped off the end of his cigarette where you would’ve been had you not moved. You stared up at him wide eyed with fear and anger.

He seemed to have realised his mistake as soon as he made it because he stared back at you with those same wide eyes, except his were of worry. You didn’t say anything else, you just got up and left the room.

You stayed to watch the show, the band still put on a great performance and you didn’t want to miss it, but you didn’t stick around afterward like you normally would. Instead you took a taxi back to the hotel you were staying at.

Slash came home later, much later. You had fallen asleep already by the time he got back. He saw you crashed on the bed with the TV on. You were laying over the covers and still had your clothes on so he figured you’d passed out while watching a movie or something.

He went to his suitcase and found a shirt to get you into. He undressed you and tried his best to keep you asleep but you fell asleep while he was struggling with your pants. “What are you doing?” You mumbled, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Slash froze. He slowly looked up at you.

“I was trying to get you into something comfier.” He explained his usual soft yet raspy voice.

“Oh...” You mumbled and just let him continue. He eventually got your pants and shirt off, he took your bra off per your request because it was not comfortable to sleep in. He offered to let you wear a pair of his shorts as well instead of the pretty lace you had on. Of course you accepted the offer and Slash helped you get his clothes on. They didn’t fit you but for sleep they were perfect.

You got under the covers while Slash turned the lights off, though he kept the TV on for background noise. He got under the covers with you and rested his head on your chest. “I won’t do that again.” He mumbled. You were barely conscious yourself at this point so you just nodded with a hum. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know.” You mumbled back. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He gave a small kiss to your collarbone.

“If you ever do anything like that again you’re sleeping with Axl.” You threatened. Slash grumbled and after a small pause he looked up at you.

“You wouldn’t really, would you?” You could tell there was some genuine concern.

“Do you really want to find out?” Slash stared at you for a moment longer before going back to nuzzling your tits.