#please be a good fucking sq i have expectations

[welcometoteyvat]

cyno quest in three ish days amen

[finalfrontierpublishing]

So it's been a while since i posted any books - mostly because i've been hiding my progress like a little sneak.

I just finished this bind last night of The Desert Storm by @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning, or really it's volume 1 out of like ??? 15, maybe. Please take whatever i say with a pinch of salt (I have had 0 sleep for more than 24 hours, and that tends to make me a little very sleep-deprivation drunk a.k.a. unhinged). Okay, on to thoughts! The Desert Storm was foisted onto me by @celestial-sphere-press who told me under no uncertain terms that I WOULD FUCKING LOVE THIS SHIT. Well, I did. This more than 1 million word epic about Ben Fuckin' Kenobi is pretty much god-tier fanfiction. It reads like a goddamn novel. I can never think of canon again without thinking that this good shit should be canon. I read it and then consumed half of it within a week, and I have zero regrets. @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning, i absolutely love you and love your writing. It is the best thing since sliced bread. It is better than sliced bread.

I also had the benefit of @celestial-sphere-press saying, hey would you want to use the typeset? MY GOD, i am grateful. I love this fic, i would have typeset it if it hadn't been typeset but Des did such a beautiful job that i am absolutely in awe and thankful that she and the author allowed others to use it. Look at it - it's so beautiful. I only had to think hey, i just gotta design the cover and et cetera and so the book happened.

Please also check out @celestial-sphere-press 's amazing post here and here, who is the only person i know who's started and is almost complete in fanbinding this epic, and is also making an author a copy of the entire series.

Some stats, if you will.

96215 words || 380 pages

Title font: Ghaomiec

I took some inspiration from starblight bindery's lovely desert scape as well as this amazing cover of Dune which i own. I love that the landscape emanates Dune vibes while being oh so Tattooine - just sand and heat, relentless loneliness and melancholy. This fic centres around Obi-Wan Infinite Sadness Kenobi so it needed SAD VIBES TM, which i tried to deliver in desolate landscape form.

Also thank the heavens for Renegade members, who in a masterful stroke of Group Buy Saves Money, managed to source extra-out-of-production colours of Colibri and help a fair number of us get really cool limited edition versions of bookcloth. I am now a proud owner of a lorge stash of Duo and Colibri of which i am now sitting on like a shifty dragon with a hoarding problem. Good luck getting your bookcloth now, Folio Society, ha ha (gloating)! This particular bookcloth is Colibri Copper which has been wholly stashed for The Desert Storm series. I am leaning on transitioning to Malachite for Rise and Fall when I get to it.

The front cover design was done with a stock image and converted to a PNG, which i then fiddled with and did some HTV magic with. It was remarkably easier to weed than expected. I tried something new and ironed the design on the naked bookcloth first before gluing it to the boards, which was a new challenge in making sure everything was aligned.

Endpapers are marbled endpapers (Renato Crepaldi) which I got from Hollanders, which perfectly fit the colour scheme of the bind. The only hiccup was as I was cutting, I realized the sheet was running in the opposite direction of his usual papers and half the size, and only yielded 3 A5 size endpapers and so my heart went noooooooooo. oh well. i guess i will use it for quartos.

Endbands are my favourite - silk in 3 colours in the french doublecore style (as i was binding this i did not have the mental capacity to handle the difficulty of 4 strands). the truth is i usually only can do 4 when I have higher brain function and am willing to spend 80% of my time unraveling it from getting tangled.

I also forgot to mention I had mild fuck-ups, I got glue on the front endpaper which I had to hastily remove with wet cloth, and the back square is preposterously bad but I'm ignoring it for now.

Anyway, i've actually managed to complete a few other binds which have not been mentioned here as they've all been gifts/ surprises or event books in some form. I am SO EXCITED, also because I am travelling in the latter half of July to San Diego and L.A. and I get to meet some bookbinding friends in the flesh. Renegade is fucking amazing y'all. I am ready to embrace these crazy lads who have enabled me for the last 1 year, even when i'm the solitary (1) weirdo from my country of origin in the server. Also... potentially bookbinding trip early next year??? I am enthused.

[saltymongoose]

Hi, are your requests still open?? Or I'll even pay you to write something too.

If they are, can I request fic with Deimos, Hank, 2B, and Sanford protecting and comforting a FTM(not transitioned yet) reader that is their partner. They protect him from an abusive family member? If that's not okay then maybe just comforting them on a really really bad dysphoria day?

I'm dealing with major family issues rn on top of my HEDS/POTS flair ups and I'm just breaking down and need some comfort from my boys that would def hug me and kiss me and tell me im okay and tell my family members to "Fuck off cuz I am a real man." I'm trying to draw some art too... but I have major art block art.. but your writing Is amazing and inspirational. I always look forward to everything you do. You are my hero and I wish I could write like you. Thank you for everything you do and please take care of yourself! Drink and eat pls!!❤️❤️❤️

Also this is the first time I'm asking something and I'm to nervous to come of anon so I guess you could call me...Kai? Thanks and sorry if this is too much yiu can ignore it

I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been going through Kai, it's beyond awful to have family members who're so unsupportive and damaging. :( I'd be more than happy to provide some comfort and protection from the boys for you, and as always, free of charge. <3 (Thank you so so much for your kind words as well, they're awfully sweet of you to say and reading them made me pretty emotional haha. I'm glad you like my work so much, it's readers like yourself that make writing so fulfilling for me, so thank you for that as well. And please take care of yourself too, of course. :)) 💕

[Part 1] They Protect a Transmasc!Reader from their Abusive Family ft. Hank & Sanford

(TW: Transphobia, Verbal Abuse, Violence (they're not yandere but still, it's Madcom), ft. Transmasc!Reader) //- {PART 2 HERE <3} -//

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Anyone who knows of your significance to Hank would realize that it’s not exactly a good idea to try anything against you, whether it be trying to make you uncomfortable or attacking you physically.

Your partner is the most wanted man in Nevada, and he has absolutely no patience when it comes to anyone or anything threatening you, period. It doesn’t matter if it’s some random grunt on the street, or some agent Doc insists he works with, or even if they’re an Employer. If they hurt you in any way, shape, or form, he’s paying them back for it tenfold.

It’s only right since you’re likely a target simply for your relationship with him and he considers it his “job” to protect the people he loves. And by that, just you, really. He can’t even remember the names of the other SQ members he works with 90% of the time, so you’re it for him. Although this just means all of his protective instincts are centered on a single person, which if anything would be more of a deterrent. (For mildly intelligent people, at least.)

However, while he never expected your family of all groups to be added to his “blacklist”, he isn’t averse to going after them the same way he does all your other persecutors. Hank genuinely couldn’t care less about their blood relation with you or any history you have with them; he solves nearly all his problems with violence anyway, so another set of bodies means very little to him in the long run. (Bear in mind, he won’t outright kill them in front of you, you don’t need to see that.)

Though because you’d generally prefer not to have to deal with organizing a funeral or explaining why your significant other gunned down your family (to your other family members who you'd prefer not to speak to), you made him swear not to kill them. A shame since they more than deserved it to him, but you're one of the few people Hank actually listens to, so he'll go along with it.

However, you never told him that he couldn't be violent with his protectiveness, even if they didn't end up dead.

So when he happens to be accompanying you to your family’s place to fetch some of your things and someone decides to make a little unwelcome comment about you (something about how you’re “never gonna be a real man”, whatever that means), he bristles when he hears the words. The look of discomfort and sadness on your face immediately drives him to physically threaten them; he's quick to invade the offending family member's space, anger coursing through his veins as a hand reaches for one of his knives.

It doesn’t take long for whoever made the comment to be thrown to their knees, a blade at their throat before you’re able to stop him. He's always been impulsive, and what they've just done to you would be enough to warrant murder if it were from anyone else. (They should consider themselves lucky you were more merciful than he was.)

He can only think of the look of your frowning visage as he grabs their jaw harshly, almost driving the knife into them as they jolt in his grasp. He usually doesn't care about insults, but if they're against you and targeting something so intrinsic to who you are, it's enough to piss him off immensely on your behalf, to say the least.

"Newsflash, asshole. Nobody asked for your dogshit opinion," he hisses, jostling your terrified family member before forcefully turning them to look in your direction. "See him? He's a real man. If you're too stupid to understand that, that's on you. But if you say anything like that to my boyfriend again, I'll fucking kill you, understand, dipshit?"

You know it's more of a bluff than a genuine promise, given the fact that you've been over this with him before. (Or at least you think so.) You ignore your family member's pleading for Hank to let them go, as well as the other people in the house who've come to watch, still feeling hurt at their comment. Having your partner there made it better, but it still didn't lessen the sting of the words themselves.

Hank notices this of course and will drop the offending individual to the floor (paying no mind to how their skull painfully hits the concrete below them, whoops) so he can pick you up protectively and remove you from the situation entirely. You let him, of course, silently eyeing your family from over his bicep as you snuggle into his arms, relaxing a little for once that evening.

The complete juxtaposition in Hank's behavior the moment you two exit through the front door is honestly amusing to you in retrospect, but in your sickened feelings at what just happened you don't notice it. He holds you tighter to himself as he walks, leaning down to press his forehead to yours and nuzzle into your temple. You told him once that his purring was comforting for you, so he'll do it here, and loudly too. He's relieved when he feels you sink into his grasp more at all his affection, but he can tell what just happened is still weighing on you.

Despite excelling at dealing with matters physically, Hank is very inept at anything concerning emotions (and to his credit, he knows it very well). He'll still try though since you need the encouragement and he hates seeing that despondent look on you. (He also just loves you and wants you to be alright, but that's hardly anything new.)

"You okay?" He rasps lowly, almost whispering to you, and you give a strained half smile in response. He tilts his head in concern and you sigh, reaching up to cup his cheek and watching as he leans into your hand absentmindedly.

"Not really, no, that was…a lot. I will be though, eventually…Thanks for that, by the way," you say, voice small as you rest your head on his chest. It’s funny, you were only there for forty-five minutes and you’re exhausted. This only makes you doubly grateful for your partner being willing to carry you and comfort you physically, even when you don’t feel like talking.

You could feel him nod resolutely against your hand, the only reply you’ll get from him on this matter. His silence is fine with you; you were so close that you didn’t need words to understand his view anyway. Especially not with how he makes sure to hold you as close to him as possible on the way back, wrapping you up tightly in his arms as if to protect you from the rest of the world as he takes you back home, where you’ll be safe from everything else.

Hank’s type of care is a strange one. Filled with gentle touches and harsh protectiveness, Nevada’s most infamous mass murderer is nothing if not soft around you. You were a point of vulnerability for him, but one that he welcomed with open arms. He’d rather die than let something happen to you (and he’d be very willing to if it came down t it). Even if the threat isn’t incredibly violent, his main priority is your well-being, whether that be your physical or mental health. Perhaps this is why you feel comfortable enough to fall asleep in his arms, content that he’d keep you safe as you went home. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you and you knew it. After all, he loves you beyond belief, just as you do him.

- [SANFORD] -

As one of the few people in Nevada who actually has a semi-intact family in his life, Sanford knows the true value of having close relationships with your parents and/or siblings. However, he realizes that your family is also the people who can cause you the most suffering. They know every little button to press to get a reaction, and it's only elevated to a more painful level if they don’t accept you for who you truly are.

In all likelihood, you’ve confided to him before about your familial situation, and what he heard both depressed and angered him. How anyone could be so awful to you is just beyond him; you’re one of the nicest people he’s had the pleasure of coming across and he wouldn’t trade you for everything, why would your family do you so much harm purposefully?

The feeling of disgust only festers with each time you tell him about another one of your family's abusive actions towards you, and he honestly considers just suggesting you cut them off. They don't deserve to have someone like you around them, just as you don't deserve to be mistreated for something as simple as your gender identity. You don't need to justify who you are to them, and the fact that they badger you about it and degrade you is enough to make his blood boil.

You probably don't see your family that often anyway, cause once you two got together he was fully willing to just get a place with you away from anywhere having to do with them. The further the better. (The last thing he wanted to happen was for them to encounter you when you went out for groceries or ran errands. More distance meant more safety from them, after all.)

It's not that he wants to isolate you or anything like that, and really you're free to do what you want, he just doesn't want to run the risk of them hurting you more than they have already. As such, he’s hesitant to even drive you to visit them, to be completely honest. You don’t deserve to be put in a potentially abusive situation, but if you have to be around your family for whatever reason, he insists on accompanying you.

He holds your hand the entire way there, throwing you soft looks to gauge your mood and running a thumb over your knuckles when he sees your nervous posturing. He hopes that his reassurance will help in some way, even if he's also dreading encountering your family.

He's tense at your side the moment you both walk through the door to your family's home, putting himself between you and any family members as he oversees your interactions. Most would feel threatened by his posturing; it’d be quite obvious that he’s acting as sort of a sentinel for you, and having someone like him as a protector should be a deterrent to any awful behavior. Lest they end up suffering some harsh consequences for their actions.

But of course, this doesn’t stop some people. Perhaps they just walked in and saw you, thinking you were on your own and taking it as an opportunity to slew some abuse at you, completely oblivious to the fact that your partner was just across the room. Or maybe they were just ignorant enough to believe your partner wouldn’t protect you from them.

However, they’ll notice and realize the reality of the situation soon enough. It’s impossible not to when they open their mouth to make a disparaging comment about you and are met with a painfully tight grip on their shoulder and the broad form of your boyfriend looming over them.

You'll notice that their abusive remark is cut off by a sharp squeak, and turn to see them looking almost sickly with fear at your boyfriend. The same whose glare seems to darken when they have the nerve to send a pleading glance towards you to make him stop, as if they're not the one who tried to verbally attack you in the first place.

No matter, he'll helpfully twist them around so he's all they see instead. (Quickly too, since he hated the way you seemed to freeze when they tried to make eye contact with you.) The perpetrator is terrified to their core since they know very well about who he is, but the short apologies they try to stammer out don't quell any of Sanford's anger at them. It's not him they should be apologizing to.

He'd even consider forcing them to right that moment if he couldn't read you as well as he does. He knows from your shaky motions and quick glances back at him that having any prolonged contact with them would probably just risk upsetting you more, and besides, what kind of a partner would he be if he brought his boyfriend's abuser closer to him?

Despite this, he won't let go of them. He's almost like a guard dog that's latched onto someone, unwilling to let them move a mere inch away as you go about your business. While you're distracted, he'll even lean down to get uncomfortably close to your family member to give them a bit of a warning, silently delighting in how they jump at his sudden movements.

"You aren't gonna say another fucking word to him, understand?" He hisses, "None of this shit about you not understanding that he's a man - cause that's what he is, dumbass. You can fuck off if you think I'll just let you insult him like that, or I'll make you wish you knew better."

They nod frantically, and he gives them a sardonic, if not outright threatening grin. Just in time too, as you turn back to them with some personal belongings gathered in your arms. You don't look at your family member when you approach, but Sanford's quick to disregard them as well once you're a meter or two from them. (He doesn't want you to have to be too close to them, anyway).

He gives their shoulder one last squeeze, threatening to pierce their skin with his claws before he lets go and returns to your side. You find it slightly amusing that he insists on wiping his hand off on his pants before he holds yours again, and as you exit the building he makes a joke about not wanting any "filth" to touch you. It makes you smile a bit, which relieves him.

He has a thoughtful look on his face as he helps you into his truck, one he always seems to get whenever the topic of your family comes up. You give him a few questioning glances, silently prodding at what's eating away at him as he seems to mull over something for a moment. He then turns to you, giving you a warm smile.

“I’m really proud of you, you know? I don't know how I'd be if my family pulled something like that with me," he remarks, giving you a playful glare when you shrug and avert your eyes, already beginning to formulate some sort of retort to his praise.

"I mean, I didn't do very much-"

"Not this time, I guess, at least not physically. But you've dealt with their shit for years, so I'd say you're stronger than you think you are." He states simply, a tone of finality in his words. Under no circumstance would he let you downplay or disregard your own feelings and role in this; so what if you didn't want to get in their face as he would? Physical confrontations aren't everything, especially when he's half sure those pigheaded people in your family wouldn't change with or without them. The point was that you're perfect just as you are, and you don't need some dumbasses who don't know anything to make you doubt that.

You understand as much when he leans over to give you a quick kiss on your temple, whispering so before leaving another peck on your cheek and pulling back. For that simple moment, your anxiety is quelled. Funny, how something as common as Sanford giving you affection could calm you down so much. The love he has for you is pure and nearly overwhelming sometimes; it fills you with a warmth so comforting, and a feeling of gentle reassurance you don't know how you went without before. And you knew it was the same for him.

For now, though, Sanford thinks he's got a bit of a solution to this issue (if you could call it one). He's been thinking about it for a while, but now that he's seen firsthand the quality (or lack thereof) of people in your family, he doesn't think it's going too fast. At least, he hopes you won't think so either.

Your attention is caught again when he mutters your name, and you look over to see him staring down at the dashboard, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he nervously clears his throat. It's weird to see him so nervous, but it's cute; it reminds you of when you first started dating and he was so anxious about being with someone seriously, least of all someone he admired so much.

"I know this might be too fast, but..you could, well, "join" my family, if you want. My mom's been asking about you, and they just really want to meet you, to be honest. Probably because of how I don't shut up about you," he laughs a little awkwardly, and you smile at how bashful he looks, brow quirking at the question. "They're not...like yours, and I know they won't screw with you like that. So..would you want to?" He looks hopeful as he eyes you, and you can see the slightest bit of apprehension in the way he shifts his hands against the wheel as he waits for your answer.

You hum in thought, genuinely considering the offer. Sanford's without a doubt the nicest guy you've ever met, and you don't think his family would be spoken about so highly by him if they weren't the same. Besides, there's no harm in meeting your boyfriend's family. However, there's a little something about the way he worded it that made you curious.

"Yeah, I'm down for that. All this talk about me joining your family is pre-tty interesting though, babe," you begin, a teasing lilt to your voice as you lean over the console to perch your chin on his shoulder. "You thinking about proposing?"

He sputters, face going red as you chuckle at him. He's quick to make a recovery though, nudging his elbow at you as he shakes his head to himself (he can't hide his own grin, despite this). You feel relaxed as you lean back into your seat, grateful for the distraction in light of everything else that happened that day.

Although, you don't make it entirely back to your seat before Sanford reaches out for your hand again. His larger hand returns to hold yours just as it was on the way to your family's place, and you can see a slight blush tinge his cheeks when you turn yours over to interlace your fingers. He only has a single real response to your teasing, but it's enough to make you double-take.

"That depends, would you say yes?"

[avatar-of-the-scribe]

Hiii- *falls down the stairs*

Uh- nervous cuz I usually dont send things out of the anons

But- can I get a drop of Auditor content please?

Auditor x reader? Anything is fine I just, like the flame man

Of Course! Since you said anything Is fine, I'll do a few Headcanons for you!

First Request!!! So a gold star to you for that as well! I'm flattered you asked me off anon- and I love your art, the character in your pfp is so cute!

Auditor x Reader Headcanons

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The Auditor Is a Very, Very busy man. Because of how Nevada is already along with; having to put so much effort into the Nevadian Scourge that evades his grasp, Maintain eyes on the Clown and Jesus wannabe, Look over his men and whatever the fucks going on in Nexus- He's got a lot on his plate. But he'll always make time for you.

If he can't find any time for you during the day, expect it at night when you feel him slip into the bed next to you, gently pulling you close and muttering apologies for his absence to your sleeping form. He's nice and warm to hold onto, which ends up making him an excellent cuddle partner- you're sure to sleep well!

He takes your safety as a top priority. Any base you're located in is highly fortified- and he's got a zillion and one emergency plans set Incase Wimbleton does show up. Have you ever wanted an entire facility of agents as bodyguards? Well now you've got it! He... Genuinely doesn't consider this over the top- he can't help it, he's terrified of losing you to death... So he won't let death take you, not if he can help it.

I'm sorry to say he's not a very good cook, but he'll order the chefs in the cafeteria to make you things if you have specific cravings... At least the best they can with what they have in this wasteland. Do you like Pizza? They can do Pizza. That's why they have a lot of pizza parties.

Auditor has... A few hobbies. None that he'll openly share- he has a reputation thank you. But you? You get to See, as long as you don't gush about them in public or this fire man is going to sputter out in embarrassment. But he finds it soothing to work on his hobbies with you in his free time.

That being said, he adores any hobbies of yours. You draw? He keeps every drawing you've given him in protective sheets in a safe folder he keeps in his room. Paint? It's hung up on the wall. Sew? He'll be your model (just not in public unless its... On brand for his image. Can't walk around in a onesie, sorry). Sing? Anytime you sing to him it's a concert in his mind. Any show of your talents leaves him starstruck by a glimpse of goodness in this doomed hellscape.

Over all, your happiness is the one thing to make the Auditor happy. Your smile is infectious but he'll deny it if you point out it's spread to him, your laugh is enough to cure any foul moods caused by SQ or any other organizations, and your presence helps him feel more soothed than he has in ages. Anything you want he'll try to get- you're actually kind of spoiled. Perks of having an Employer for a partner!

Though he's... Bad at most affections. Flirt with him and watch how badly it catches him off guard. If you give him a kiss he will burn hotter than the sun. You will kill him by doing things like that in Private- though he does request to keep the PDA out of public eye, so that maybe the SQ just won't find out about you and you will be safer, despite all those aforementioned safety plans.

[asweetprologue]

me lámh le do lámh - Part III

First | Previous | Next | Masterpost 

The journey to Oxenfurt flew past even as it crawled. The closer he got to his destination, the more he found he was able to shrug off his worries and focus on his reunion with Jaskier. He hadn’t seen the bard in months, and he found his heart quickening in his chest as he finally crested the final hill and looked down upon the city of Oxenfurt.

He’d arrived in the small hours of the morning, just as the sun was starting to peak over the horizon. The water beneath Western Bridge was white gold in the dawn light, small fishing boats making their way down the channel and back to the harbor, ready to sell the first catch of the day. The red shingles of the cramped houses stood out sharply against the grey-green backdrop of the surrounding countryside, layered like some wild confection. To the south, the university sprawled on its own island, its tall towers piercing the early morning mist. Geralt had to push his way through the western gate, fighting for space amongst merchants and traders making their way to the markets that would be opening up in the main square. After so long on the road the smells and sounds of the city bombarded him, but Oxenfurt was nearly as familiar to him now as Kaer Morhen, and he let it all wash over him as he made his way towards one of the cheaper inns.

His intention had been to make his way directly across the southern bridge and into the academy grounds, but he’d arrived earlier than expected and Jaskier tended to be a bit of a late riser when he could be. So instead he got a room and set Roach up in the stables, giving her a good brush down, and packed away his gear. The rest of the morning, he spent restocking his supplies in the market, picking up the herbs he couldn’t easily find on his own and trading some of the goods he’d brought from the north for things he would need over the summer; a new linen shirt, salt for preserving meat, vodka.

Finished with his shopping, he set his mind to breakfast. There was a woman with a stall off of the main market selling baked goods, and Geralt remembered her from when he’d last been to Oxenfurt. He picked up a roll stuffed with warm cabbage and beef, and then doubled back a minute later to buy another, this time swirled through with cinnamon and coated in a sweet honey glaze.

Finally judging the sun high enough in the sky, he headed for the nearest fountain to refill his waterskin, only to be greeted by a familiar voice ringing out through the open courtyard.

Oxenfurt prided itself on its beauty, its history and monuments. The city was a tapestry of rich timber and clean brickwork, of statuary large and small which lined the streets and stately buildings with stunning relief work. The fountains were no exceptions; this one was set against the north side of the square, its semicircular base filling with water from half a dozen spouts set into the mouths of bronze fish. Geralt had no doubt that the entire effect—the square, the fountain, the white stone of the surrounding buildings—was stunning. But his eyes were drawn inexorably towards the sound of lute strings, and the beauty of the masterwork around him couldn’t help but pale in comparison to the man sitting on the raised lip of the fountain.

Jaskier’s hair was shorter than he’d last seen it, not windswept and overlong from months on the Path, and his clothes were cleaner and more lavish than he typically dressed on the road. Though his doublet was scandalously open to his midriff, Geralt had no doubt that it was of the latest fashion. As he approached, he saw Jaskier’s slim fingers fly deftly over the frets of his lute, his voice raised to overlay a bright melody over the simple notes. There was no hat or blanket laid out to catch coins; Jaskier was playing only for himself, it seemed.

Geralt didn’t want to interrupt, but in the end he didn’t have to. Jaskier looked up when he was still halfway across the courtyard, as if he could sense Geralt’s presence. Their eyes met, and Geralt felt relief swim through him as he realized that the bard seemed unchanged from the last time he’d seen him. Jaskier’s face lit up as his shocked expression turned into a grin, and Geralt could see the now ever present crow’s feet deepen around his eyes.

“Geralt!” Jaskier called, not bothering to stand. Geralt made his way through the rest of the square, the bundle of rolls held close to his chest as he pushed through the river of people. He stopped when he was no more than a foot away, finding himself smiling down at the bard. “Fancy meeting you here,” Jaskier said with a wink, brilliant in the morning sun. Fuck, but Geralt had missed him.

“Was gonna look for you at the university. Glad I found you here,” he said by way of greeting. “So short on coin you’re back to busking?”

Jaskier waved a hand, dismissing Geralt’s teasing. “I just wanted some sun, now that winter has finally deigned to withdraw her icy grasp. I was thinking of perhaps going to find something to eat at the market—”

Geralt held out the sweet roll. Jaskier raised his eyebrows, surprised and clearly pleased. Geralt felt warmth spread through his chest at the look. “Figured I’d find you only just out of bed,” he explained, offering Jaskier a thin smile. “You do need your beauty sleep.”

Jaskier gasped in faux injury even as he accepted the roll from Geralt’s hands, still wrapped in wax paper. Geralt sat down beside him, letting his pack fall to the ground as he unwrapped his own roll. It was still warm, soft from the juices of the meat inside. “As if I have ever been anything less than absolutely resplendent,” Jaskier said through a mouthful of roll. Geralt privately had to agree. Out loud he only hummed, noncommittal.

They spent the morning in unhurried company, Geralt giving Jaskier news of their friends still in the north—“Ciri missed you,” he said, and didn’t say I missed you, too—and Jaskier recounting his winter adventures. Apparently he had been privately tutoring a young lady in a court a few days south of Oxenfurt, the child of an old friend. Geralt bit his cheek to avoid asking if it was just a friend, or if Jaskier had spent the winter in the bed of an old flame. It wasn’t his place to ask those sorts of things.

They didn’t head towards the university immediately—Geralt had already stowed his things at the inn, which Jaskier admonished him for. “You could have stayed with me of course,” he said with a roll of his eyes, and Geralt was breathless with it. Even after all this time, he could never truly wrap his mind around the fact that Jaskier wanted him around, would willingingly open his home to Geralt whenever he settled in one place. But the inn was already paid for and Geralt’s things packed away, so they were neither burdened by supplies as they wandered around the city. Geralt carried Jaskier’s lute on his shoulder, the weight of it settling almost as comfortably familiar as his swords.

He’d been to Oxenfurt dozens of times, but he always enjoyed seeing it through Jaskier’s eyes. The bard noticed things, like the new tailor on the corner of the main square, or that someone new had taken over an old market stall, or the new flowers sitting on someone’s stoop. All things that Geralt would have let wash past him. Everything felt new when Jaskier was with him, more vibrant when painted in his words.

Eventually Jaskier suggested that they head back, so that he could get appropriately dressed for the afternoon. He had planned, apparently, to play at a tavern close to the inn Geralt was staying in, though Geralt suspected that he’d had no such arrangements. It wouldn’t matter; Jaskier was popular enough that all he had to do was show up somewhere and people were begging him to play. Assuming he hadn’t slighted the owners of the establishment somehow. It was only early afternoon, but Jaskier gave him a sheepish grin when Geralt asked about the early retreat.

“I’m not quite packed,” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t think you’d be back on the Path until at least three weeks from now. You always seem so reluctant to leave Ciri.”

Geralt could feel his face tingling with the ghost of a blush, and he scrambled for some kind of explanation that wouldn’t feel incriminating. “I, uh. I’m looking into something. Needed to see Triss.”

Jaskier’s eyebrows rose with interest as he pushed open a side gate in the Oxenfurt walls, leading them onto the campus. Geralt liked it here; it always smelled of rich plant life because of the well kept gardens, and the population was regulated enough that it was generally quieter than the rest of Oxenfurt. All the people smelled of ink and vellum and soft scented oils, and it never failed to remind him of Jaskier. “Is it about Ciri?” Jaskier asked.

“Hmm,” Geralt allowed, thoughts racing. “In… a way.”

Jaskier stopped short, trapping Geralt behind him in the narrow alley they found themselves in. His face was a mask of concern. “Is she alright?” he asked, brow furrowed.

Geralt nodded, waving a hand as if to wipe Jaskier’s worries from the air. “She’s fine, it’s not like that.”

Jaskier huffed out a breath and gave him a stern look before turning to continue down the cobbled path, leading them into the main courtyard of the university. “Don’t do that to me, witcher,” he admonished. “I have a delicate constitution, I can’t handle a scare like I used to.”

“Ah,” Geralt said, pleased with the easy segue. “That’s… sort of the problem.”

Jaskier stopped again, halfway through the doorway that led to the apartments reserved for professors. He blinked at Geralt, once, and said, “Well what in the devil is that supposed to mean?”

Geralt sighed, pushing Jaskier the rest of the way into the building. It was old, as with all of Oxenfurt, wood musty with age and heavy with the scent of the polish that they used on the brass fixtures. The interior was dark and musty, but Geralt’s eyes easily adjusted to the gloom. He forced himself not to chuckle at the way Jaskier’s eyes immediately squinted at him, slower to adapt to the shade after being out in the daylight. “Ciri is… She missed you. She’s—we’re all worried about, well, your.” He stopped, trying to find a word that wouldn’t come off as immediately insulting. “Mortality.”

“Geralt of Rivia,” Jaskier said, in a tone that suggested Geralt had missed the mark, “are you suggesting that I am old?”

Geralt winced. “Uh. Maybe we should talk about this upstairs.”

“Oh no, I think we should talk about it right here,” Jaskier said, crossing his arms over his chest and sticking out his chin. The posture was so familiar it made Geralt’s chest ache even as he knew he was about to get taken to task. “Has Yennefer been on about my crow’s feet again? She’s delusional. My skin is flawless.”

It wasn’t, though. Geralt could see the fine lines spreading from around his eyes and mouth even in the dark, the way his hair was less lustrous than it used to be, thinning at the temples. How slowly he moved, how loudly his knees popped when he stood up after sitting for too long. “You look fine,” was all he said out loud. “But Ciri’s lost enough people already. I’m worried about what it would do to her, to lose someone else.”

Jaskier visibly deflated, sticking his lower lip out to blow his fringe out of the way. After a moment, he said, “I’m not planning on dying anytime soon, Geralt.”

And he knew that, he did, Jaskier probably had decades left to live, but— “She’s probably going to live as long as any witcher. I don’t want her to be alone.” As he said it, Geralt realized the truth of the statement. His desire to slow Jaskier’s aging process was a selfish one, but he wasn’t lying about Ciri. Losing Jaskier would be an intense blow to the girl, after already losing one family. She had so few people left in the world who truly cared for her.

Jaskier smoothed a hand down over his face, shifting so that he was leaning one arm against the railing of the staircase. “She has you, and Yennefer, and all of your brothers,” Jaskier said. His lips were pressed tightly together, and even though his eyes had eased from their squint as they adjusted to the dim light, he was looking away from Geralt. “I imagine I’ll fade away easily enough, after a few years.” He said it softly, almost to himself, and Geralt felt all the breath leave him at once at the statement.

“No,” he said, too quickly, one hand coming up automatically to grip Jaskier’s shoulder. Blue eyes turned back on him, wide with surprise. “You won’t.” He didn’t know what else to say, how to make Jaskier understand his own magnitude in their lives—Ciri’s life—his life, without giving away too much. Words were woefully insignificant.

Jaskier brought one hand up to rest over Geralt’s, his lips relaxing into a smile. “Flattering,” he said, lightly teasing. “But anyways, you know Ciri will always have you and Yen.”

“We lead dangerous lives,” Geralt argued, his hand prickling under Jaskier’s palm. “I can’t stop walking the Path, and neither can my brothers. Any year we might not come back. And Yennefer is… she’s made a lot of enemies over the years. Nothing is set in stone.”

“I know you’re worried about this,” Jaskier said slowly, “but there’s nothing to be done about it. Any of you could die at any time, sure, but that’s life.”

“I need to know you’ll be around,” Geralt insisted. “I need to know that you won’t just… die on us.”

Jaskier huffed, removing his hand from Geralt’s and placing it on his hip. “Well, I don’t know what to say. It’s a reality we’ll all simply have to adjust to, unless you’ve suddenly found the secret to immortality.”

Geralt shifted awkwardly in place. Jaskier stared.

“You are not serious—” Jaskier started as Geralt said, “Listen, just hear me out.” Jaskier continued to talk over him, and Geralt sighed up at the ceiling as the tirade began.

“Hear you out?” Jaskier spluttered, incredulous. “Oh, I’m listening, Geralt, because this had better be a damn good one. You can’t show up after being away all winter and call me old and then tell me you want to make me immortal! I will not be subjected to witcher poisons or mages’ spells just because you’ve suddenly had a realization about the inherent dangers of your occupation.”

“It’s not—I’m not going to poison you, Jaskier,” Geralt said, aghast.

If anything that made Jaskier look even more suspicious. “If this is some curse Yennefer wants to put on me I will not allow it. I have heard plenty of horror stories about the transformation process for mages, and I will not be risking the loss of my critical bits.”

“It’s a ritual—”

“That’s worse!” Jaskier exclaimed. “Geralt, we’ve worked half a dozen different contracts that were botched immortality rituals. It went badly, so very, very badly, every time, and now you want to try it because you’re worried about my wrinkles? I’m not even fifty!” He flung his arms out to the side and dropped them sharply, breathing a little heavily.

“You said you don’t have any wrinkles.”

Jaskier glared at him. Geralt sighed.

“It’s not like that,” he explained, sliding his hand down to take Jaskier’s elbow so he could lead them up the stairs. This conversation would be so much easier over a glass of wine. Or better yet, a few shots of vodka. “It should be safe. The elves used to use it all the time to prolong the lifespans of humans.”

Jaskier allowed himself to be moved, shuffling in an awkward half walk up the stairs as he tried to continue the conversation. Geralt let his hand fall away, and his palm was warm where they’d touched. “If it’s so safe and easy, why doesn’t everyone do it?” Jaskier asked.

“It’s… not common knowledge,” Geralt hedged. “And you have to have someone with a long lifespan willing to take part in the ritual.”

“So how did you find out about it?” Jaskier said, tone accusative. “What’s the ritual, exactly?”

“I went to Triss. It’s—” He stopped, casting about for the right words. How to explain, without giving away too much? “It’s an elven ritual, used to… prolong human life spans. It involves tethering the human to an elf, originally. And then the… connection extends the human’s life to closer to that of an elf.” He opened his mouth again, hesitating on the edge of telling Jaskier exactly what the elves used the ritual for. And then he thought about how Jaskier would smile as he dismissed the issue, unconcerned, and Geralt bit back the words. His stomach rolled at the omission, but he couldn’t work up the courage to place this tender thing in Jaskier’s hands only to be crushed.

They reached the top of the stairs, and Jaskier pushed quickly ahead, towards his own rooms. The hall was dimly lit, the occasional window offering slivers of muddled daylight into the passage. Geralt followed after, his footsteps echoing against the stone.

Jaskier pulled a heavy bronze key out of his pocket, frowning as he fit it into the lock. “I don’t know, Geralt. I’m not saying your heart isn’t in the right place,” he said, not looking up. “I’m honestly flattered you would want me around enough to go through all this trouble. But we both know I’m not worth the risk, and this kind of spell, you know they can be—”

Geralt reached out as Jaskier went to push the door open, catching his wrist. The bones there were so delicate, fragile enough that Geralt knew he could snap them without a thought. His hold was as gentle as he could make it. “Jaskier,” he said softly, imploring.

Finally Jaskier looked at him, lips drawn tight. “I don’t want you to regret something like this,” Jaskier said tightly.

“I wouldn’t,” Geralt said, still holding Jaskier’s wrist like a bird in his hand. “I won’t. Can you just… trust me on this?

Jaskier stopped, giving him an unreadable look for a long moment. Finally he sighed. “If you’re sure,” he said, searching Geralt’s face for something. Geralt couldn’t have said what. His fingers burned. Eventually Jaskier must have found what he was looking for, because he suddenly smiled. “I suppose it would be remiss of me to turn down the opportunity for semi-immortality, as you say it. Imagine the heights of artistic mastery I could reach with another fifty years under my belt!”

Geralt rolled his eyes even as relief swept through him. “Of course you would think of that,” he grumbled.

He released Jaskier’s hand, and the bard pushed open the door to his suite. It looked much the same as Geralt remembered it from previous visits. Two rooms, the door to the bedroom ajar just enough to see the end of the bedpost, which had a doublet hanging from it. The main room functioned as a study and parlor, with a low couch and a desk off to one side. Jaskier tended to be fastidious on the road, both with his things and his own personal hygiene, but when he returned to roost at Oxenfurt Geralt found that he let his tidy habits slip. Books and scrolls covered the desk, the couch, and several low shelves, as well as a few spots on the central rug. A few of them were dangerously close to the fireplace. Empty and half full cups of tea and glasses of wine were scattered about. When Jaskier fell into research or writing he didn’t tend to remember basic things like cleaning or fire hazards.

“Sorry for the mess,” Jaskier said breezily, with the assuredness of someone who knew their companion had seen worse. And it was true; this wasn’t even half as bad as Geralt had found it at times, pushing his way into the suite to retrieve Jaskier from a month-long academic fixation.

Jaskier walked over to a waist high cabinet against the western wall of the room and opened it to reveal a honeycomb structure threaded with wine bottles. He produced what looked to be a bottle of Est Est and turned to Geralt, pulling the cork out with his teeth. As the witcher watched, he poured a sizable amount into a mostly clean glass and threw himself down on an unoccupied space on the couch. “Alright,” he said, after swallowing a mouthful of the wine. “Tell me how this is going to work.”

~

The wonderful painting above is by @silvertonguelover​! Such an amazing piece that really conveys the feeling I wanted for this chapter. Find the post of the work here!

[swanqueensalad]

oh god please do SQ sexting head canons (i don't recall you doing that?)

am i purposefully making your blog more sexual?

maybe

for my own health and well being.

i basically learned my fav SQ smut by heart and now i'm thirsty for good new content.

ok why the hell not! i'll do it for you and your thirst, little anon. this is 2021. welcome to the sexualisation of the salad.

note: this whole post is probably gonna be slightly nsfw

so

sexting is Not something either of them have ever had any interest in before. emma, because she could not see how that was sexy and not just lame. regina, because, well, she's still a lil confused about technology and etiquette in this world and the thought had never occurred to her

but they do get there, eventually, and i think it would start as a joke - emma making some offhand comment (someone: 'emma what are u doing on ur phone all the time?' emma, deadpan: 'sexting regina') and then of course, emma has to explain to regina what sexting is

regina is at first, horrified and disgusted by this world and it's crass habits, which emma finds really funny, so she keeps teasing her about it until it becomes an inside jokes until one day... they're not joking anymore...

i can see their sexting going one of two ways:

emma initiates with a kind of dumb horny text, bored at work on a really quiet day, and again just sort of for laughs, not really expecting regina to respond or take it seriously. and regina, miraculously also having a quiet day, does. (if only a little at first, maybe a leading question: 'then what?' or 'bold claims...'

emma is surprised but it descends into basically just a really dirty conversation explicitly planning their evening later... and then regina is a massive tease and just fucking stops replying. emma is annoyed but when she finally does reply she's all faux innocent like 'what? i had a meeting?' and emma is like you're gonna pay for that later and regina is all 'promises, promises...' and they're off again

the second option i can see happening is regina sending emma a cleavage picture as incentive for something - a boring day at work or an annoying task she's been putting off - and emma opening it and nearly fucking dropping her phone

hope this helped ;)))

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

[rexcoatlarchive]

First meeting

Short story about when Rex (Me) and Quetz first met

*in Chaldea not long after the Fuyuki singularity*

Me: *walking towards the summoning room* the room's ready to use so it should be fine if I go their and finally use this Catalyst Gramps gave me. He said in the note it would summon a great mesoamerican warrior. Kinda vague but whatever. Considering the fucked situation we've seem to have find our selves in, we need all the help we can get.

*in the room*

Me: this is the place, I think just have to place the Catalyst near the circle and say some words or something. *notices SQ* hmmm? What are those? Maybe their a standard Catalyst or something? Well I got my own so this should be fine.

*gingerly places a large green feather near the circle*

Me: I remember Da Vinci saying the Fate summoning system was different from what they use for holy grail wars, so how exactly do I start this?

*notices a large lever in front of the circle*

Me: I guess that's it? *pulls the lever*

*summoning circle starts up*

Me: ah shit here we go. I wonder who I'm getting? I dunno much about mesoamerican figures aside from the gods so this will probably be a big surprise.

*the huge column of light appears in the center of the room and briefly shows the symbol of the rider class*

Me: I think that's the rider symbol. Didn't think the circle itself would show the class symbols though.

*the summoning ends and there stands Quetzalcoatl*

Me: *thinking* holy shit, she's beautiful! Good fucking lord I've never seen a woman so gorgeous!

Quetz: Hola! The goddess Quetzalcoatl has entered the ring! Oh? I was expecting nude priests, but instead we have an adorable little master. Hee hee, I don't suppose you're interested in taller older women?

Me: *without thinking* Yes I am very interested in taller older women, their my favorite kind! *now thinking rationaly* wait, Quetzalcoatl?! An actual God? I didn't think I could summon anyone that poweful!

Quetz: well we mesoamerican gods are a bit of an exception, but that's for another time. But I can't help but notice what you said beforehand, hmmm? We're you telling the truth about that?

Me: *mega nervous* well I did say it without thinking, but it was the truth so.... yeah....

Quetz: my you are so adorable! *picks me up and swings me around* *puts me down* I think this will be a good master/servant relationship

Me: *somewhat shaken* well I hope it is. Though I'm kinda new to the whole magecraft thing so there will be plenty of times where I'm confused so please be patient with me

Quetz: of course I'll be patient with you my cute little master!

Me: master is gonna take some getting used to. Same with being called cute.

Quetz: aww, has no one called you that before? How sad

Me: it's alright. Another thing I'm not used to is seeing someone so much taller then me

*Quetz stands more than a good foot above me*

*the door to the room opens and in comes Romani, Da Vinci, Mash and the Gudas*

Romani: *taking to the Gudas* here's the summoning room *notices me and Quetz* so this is where you were? We were looking for you, you know

Mash: hello senpai!

Me: hi Mash! And I got a little impatient and I had a Catalyst already so I went ahead and used it

Rikka: well who the hell is she?

Rikko: she's beautiful!

Da Vinci: and huge

Quetz: Hola! I'm the goddess Quetzalcoatl! Here in response to my master's summons!

All: GODDESS!?

Mash: that's amazing senpai!

Romani: how the hell did you summon a goddess!?

Me: *picks up the catalyst* feather

Da Vinci: it cannot be that simple!

Me: hey I dunno what to tell you guys, I placed the feather down pulled the lever and Bam! The most beautiful woman in the world appeared!

Quetz: oh master you flatter me!

Mash: maybe it belonged to her?

Quetz: *actually looking at the feather* maybe it was one of mine? Sometimes they fall off when I'm flying around in serpent form so maybe that's it?

Me: well whatever the reason I'm more then happy with my first servant. In fact I think I've already peaked with her.

Rikka: man I hope we can get servants half as cool as her

Me: I'm sure you guys will get cool servants

Da Vinci: it's going to be far more random without a special catalyst though

Mash: don't worry senpais, you still have me!

Rikko: well thank you Mash, our precious Kouhai!

That's the end of this story for now, I'll try to do more of these more often. Also going to tag a few other mastersona bloggers in case they wanna read this and say anything since they're some big inspirations for me doing this

@panyum @yet-another-saberface

[joon-ipersgirl]

O5 - “the coveted client”

genre: mafia!au, angst, fluff, slow burn, mystery-thriller

pairing: namjoon x reader (f)

word count: 4.6k

warnings: cursing

summary: charismatic. beautiful. fearless without question. the ambitious team of seven young men in charge of spiral, downtown district's hottest new club, go above and beyond to provide 100% satisfaction to their clients.

after an eventful night out, you have no choice but to join the team for property damages greater than your intern salary. challenging a series of events that can no longer be left to coincidence, secrets threaten to burst at the seams as your professional and private life collide, and another - more sinister - debt is added to your total.

how far are you willing to go to pay back your pound of flesh? remember nothing is ever as it seems...

a/n: hello friends. here is part 5. leave a comment on how you're feeling about this story. i'm debating on discontinuing it from tumblr. thank you vi for reading as always. enjoy everyone :)

full masterlist // series masterlist // previous // next

Training tonight @ 6pm. Don’t be late. You read the incoming text with a grin. Even in text, Suga is straight to the point. Shoving your phone back into your pants pocket, you leave the small kitchenette and head back to your small desk with a fresh cup of coffee in hand. You can still remember the looks of horror on the boys’ faces after Suga announced your immediate hire and it’s been two weeks since then. Was it wrong to take pleasure in their discomfort? Probably. Would you stop? Never.

“Is that a smile I spy on Miss Y/N Y/L/N’s face? The Devil must be here to collect his wife,” Paul exclaims as you sit back down. You laugh and prop your chin on your hand as you stare at him over your desktop screen.

“Can a woman not just be happy, Paul? Why does it have to come at the expense of a man?” you ask, a fake feign of hurt in your voice.

“Of course women can. Just not you,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. You shake your head, your smile still present on your face. Paul would not ruin your good mood.

“Ouch. That one might have hurt if I actually gave a fuck about your opinion of me,” you say while reorganizing the folders Manager Kim had dropped onto your desk from the day before.

“Y/N! Language!” Laura chides as she walks into your cramped office space. You roll your eyes and flip through the countless papers on your desk to order them in order of priority.

It’s honestly a miracle that none of you manage to murder each other while you work though it’s crossed your mind several times. JM Events and Affairs is a lucrative event planning company, but apparently could not afford to at least place its clerks in a room larger than 500 sq ft. Being entry level is a struggle most days, but eventually it would all pay off and you would become a successful event planning guru. For now though, you’re stuck here with the imbeciles you had to call co-workers.

“Manager Kim wants to see us in her office,” James says as he pokes his head around the wall of the cubicle, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. “Now,” he emphasised. He doesn’t wait for you to follow.

Paul shoots you and Laura a raised brow of confusion as you grab your notepads and file down the long corridor to Manager Kim’s well decorated office. She’s an older woman who’s been in the business longer than you’ve been alive. She credits her success to always staying ahead of the trend even if she didn’t create it, though most times she did. Her style is impeccable and she is meticulous as she is jovial. She’s, quite simply, a genius.

James has already taken a seat in one of the two plush grey chairs in front of her large, industrial sized desk. Rows of colorful binders are organized on her desk - no doubt detailing the new events the company is planning on hosting. Manager Kim enjoys the arts and it’s evident from the variety of paintings that hang on the wall. Today, she’s dressed in a powder blue knit sweater that matches whatever shade of nail polish she wears tucked into a pair of belted, high waisted wide leg pants. Her matching steel toe boots peek from underneath.

“Ah, good. You’re all here,” she begins as she sits behind her desk. You gesture for Laura to take the other available seat as you stand behind James and Paul stands next to you.

“We have a new client considering the company for an event. He’s very important for future networking opportunities so I expect the very best work from you.” Manger Kim usually wasted no time getting straight to the point and today is no different. “In fact, I’ve been monitoring your work very closely because I knew a client like this would be coming very soon,” she stands from her desk, navy blue binder in hand.

“What kind of event is he planning on having?” James inquires, his pen ready to take notes.

“He didn’t give specific details, but I’m sure if we can book him for this minor event, he’ll give us the main one. I’m quite sure of it.” Manager Kim snaps the binder shut and smiles at you all. Her white blonde bob is immaculate, not a single strand out of place.

“Should we start drafting ideas now?” Laura asks.

“Yes, I need several drafts from each of you by 4pm this afternoon. Please have them -”

“Are we just supposed to forget about the other events we have coming up? This guy didn’t even give us any major details for effective planning!” Paul interrupts. Manager Kim turns to look at him.

“Well Paul, if this client is of no importance to you -” Paul tries to backtrack, but to no avail as Manager Kim continues on “- I will not need your drafts or your portfolio.” She beams at him and Paul blanches. You grimace.

“As I was saying. Please have your portfolios and 4 drafts submitted to me by 4pm today. They should be in priority order and include everything from food to colors, entertainment and venues. Remember, the customers knows best -”

“- but finesse, finesse, finesse,” you, Paul, James, and Laura finish. Manager Kim should have that framed and put on her wall.

“Lovely. Goodbye,” she waves no longer looking at you, already lost in her grueling event editing process. You knew better than to loiter and the four of you head back to your small workspace.

“You really fucked up there Paul,” you say as you sit down at your desk.

“Thanks, Y/N,” Paul deadpans. He drops his head quite heavily on his desk. Laura winces.

“It’s okay, Paul. Maybe you can still show her something and -” she starts.

“You know Manager Kim isn’t the forgiving kind,” James interrupts. “There’s nothing more he can do,” he finishes nonchalantly.

“I hate to agree -” you begin.

“No you don’t,” Paul cuts in.

“- but James is right. Manager Kim is all about quick thinking and Paul failed that test. He’ll have another time to redeem himself, but he has to sit this one out. You should be happy, Laura. Less competition,” you say with a shrug and flip open your notepad to start drafting.

“Do you even have an empathetic bone in your body, Y/N?!” Laura hisses as she walks over to rest a hand on Paul’s shoulder.

“Sometimes,” you reply. “But everyone has to eat and I refuse to go to sleep on an empty stomach.”

Laura looks disgusted at your answer and she goes back to consoling Paul. James had left the conversation a long time ago and you admired his ability to ignore almost everyone around him. His coldness and detachment made him ruthless in an unsuspecting way and you’d learned the hard way not to underestimate him. Laura would learn eventually that while people thought it was the strong who survived, it was really those who were able to adapt to any environment that really thrived.

It’s after lunch that you receive an email from Manager Kim requesting for you to meet her in the lobby in fifteen minutes without any further explanation. You ask no questions and sit in the lobby, counting the people that come out of the elevator that were not Manager Kim. It’s already 1:24 pm and you’ve just started your third draft. Creating on a time crunch with no real guidance is no walk in the park and you try to keep your frustrations under control as you run through possible color combinations for the event.

“Y/N! There you are! Let’s go,” Manager Kim calls as she exits the building without checking to see if you follow.

You scramble to grab your purse and notepad, scurrying across the lobby in the high heels she insists you wear. Manager Kim is already seated in a company car as you yank the passenger side door open and fall into the seat.

“Very good,” she says and wastes no time pulling into traffic. You awkwardly try to secure your seatbelt as she zips through the small spaces between cars. Gods protect you from this woman and her hazardous driving.

“Where are we going?” you ask after you manage to situate your purse, coat, and notepad in your lap comfortably.

“Downtown. We’re meeting with the client.”

“We?!” you repeat, surprised.

“That’s what I said isn’t it? We’re also late,” she says as she makes a sharp right turn onto Matthews St. You barely miss hitting a cyclist and you send up another small prayer for you to make it to your destination safely.

“What about the drafts and portfolios? Aren’t you going to review -”

“Did I say I wasn’t?” She glances over at you from the corner of her eye and you close your mouth. You would not fail this test.

Manager Kim pulls over into an impossibly tight space in front of a large corporate building that reads Hastings and Lewis. A well established law firm if you remember correctly. It has to be at least 14 stories high and exudes the architect’s vision of simple modern design with large windows and exposed steel structural support. You both exit the car and you align your steps with hers, your heels clicking in time against the marble flooring as you enter the building. You say good afternoon to the doorman who simply nods at you in greeting.

“Hello. How can I help you?” the receptionist asks behind the raised desk, her head barely visible.

“Yes, hello. My name is Madeline Kim. I have an appointment to speak with Mr. Cavallero at 2:15pm.” You glance at the clock behind the receptionist. 1:53pm. You bite your lip to hold your outburst. To be early is to be on time, you could hear her say.

The receptionist smiles and nods as she searches her computer for the appointment. “Yes, here it is. Please have a seat. Someone will come and get you shortly.”

Manager Kim nods and perches in one of the available seats. You shake your head as you take a seat next to her, ignoring the itching in your palm to pull out your notepad and finish your drafts. You can tell by the way Manager Kim is sitting, not scrolling through her various binders or the calendar on her phone, this is a formal interview and you would not be the one to fuck it up. There would be time to finish the drafts. You would make sure of it.

“Ms. Kim?” A young man in a sharp, black suit stands in the center of the room smiling at you. 2:05pm. Right on time. “If you could follow me this way, please.” He turns towards the golden elevators and you follow behind him. “My name is Lewis Carlisle and I am the assistant to Mr. Cavallero,” he tells you as he pushes the button for the 10th floor. He sticks his hand out for each of you to shake.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mr. Carlisle. Thank you for having us. This is my assistant, Ms. Amani Jung.” A lie, but you go with it.

“A pleasure to meet you,” you say with a bright smile and a firm handshake. He returns a smile of his own.

The elevator doors open and you follow Mr. Carlisle through the open workspace plan. This is the kind of place that promoted collaboration and teamwork. How could it not when the light airy feeling made you want to turn to your neighbor and ask them what they thought about a particular problem? JM Events and Affairs should have hired their interior designer. Maybe some of their employees wouldn’t struggle as much to meet their deadlines.

“Mr. Cavellero unfortunately will not be able to meet with you in person today -” Manager Kim’s smile tightens at his words “- but he did relay all of his expectations for the company brunch,” Lewis says as he holds open the door to a small meeting room. It’s in the center of the floor and the walls are made of pure plexiglass. It screamed expensive.

“How wonderful,” Manager Kim comments as she sits down and sets her purse down on the ground.

“Would either of you like something to drink? Water? A Coke?”

“ A water with light ice will do, thank you,” she says.

“I’ll take a bottle of water, please,” you reply and sit down beside Madeline. You discreetly pull out your design notepad along with your actual note-taking pad. Lewis nods and promises to return quickly with your drinks as well as the file containing the event details.

“You seem upset,” you comment while scribbling down the words brunch and law firm onto a new blank sheet for your fourth and final draft, your brain already conjuring up ideas.

“What makes you think that?” she asks, turning to you slightly as she too sets up her own note-taking station.

“Your smile failed to meet your eyes,” you say nonchalantly. From the corner of your eye, you see her break into a grin as Lewis enters the room, a cup of water in one hand, a bottle in the other, and a slim manilla folder tucked underneath his arm.

“Thank you again, Mr. Carlisle,” Manager Kim says with another bright smile, her hand in his as they shake hands again.

“You’re very welcome. I’m sure Mr. Cavallero will love what you put together for brunch,” he replies.

The meeting seems to be a success and you’d gained some much needed insight for your fourth draft while being Madeline’s “assistant”. You’re no longer paying attention as you exit the meeting room and head back towards the main elevator, Madeline and Lewis making polite conversation. You run over all of your drafts as you check the time discreetly. It’s 3:20pm. You would still have enough time to review your plans and work on the others files Manager Kim had assigned. You grin in victory.

“Mr. Cavallero!” Lewis exclaims as the elevator doors open.

The man is an older gentleman with neatly groomed hair and warm brown eyes. His coal grey suit is neatly pressed, a sharp crease present in the center of his pant leg. Definitely high quality and only dry-cleaned. His smile displays a set of perfect of white teeth. As he steps out of the elevator, holding it open so it wouldn’t close, the Armani Exchange watch glitters under the artificial lights.

“Mr. Carlisle. I assume this must be our event coordinators. I’m sorry I couldn’t meet with you. An emergency meeting was called for a major case,” he apologizes.

“I understand, Mr. Cavallero. Things are sometimes out of our control. No need to explain,” Madeline says with a smile as she enters the elevator. You follow behind her. “Mr. Carlisle was quite capable. I will have Miss Y/L/N send over the final details for the event by Friday for your approval.”

Mr. Cavallero’s eyes shift over to you and he smiles. “I look forward to it. Enjoy the rest of your day, ladies.” He let the doors go as Lewis tells you goodbye, the doors closing off the last of his words.

Manager Kim’s shoulders visibly relax as you descend to the lobby, but you make no comment. Though their conversation was brief, something had clearly transpired between them. Madeline seems to have noticed you watching her as she inhales and fixes her posture. She was back to business.

“I assume I don’t have to tell you not to say anything about this meeting?” she asks as she nods her thanks to the doorman, your steps once more in sync as you exit the high rise building.

“What meeting?” You say with a grin as you wait for her to unlock the company car.

The heat of the staircase in Spiral welcomes you again like a familiar friend after not seeing them for a long time. There is still the hustle and bustle of vendors dropping off boxes as the final details of the new designs are being put into place. People couldn’t wait to see how Spiral had fared after the robbery - which you still didn’t believe was actually what happened - and it seems like Friday’s opening night couldn’t come soon enough. Even Paul and Laura were considering stopping by after all of the shit they talked before.

You enter the main space and glance around, looking for one of the boys. Your purse bag is heavy from the event files and you head over to set it on top of the bar while resting your aching feet. Paul, Laura, and James could not believe you’d managed to turn in your drafts and portfolio at exactly 3:57pm after being gone so long; they would eventually learn to not underestimate you. You glance around again and notice a group of people sitting in one of the newly upholstered booths quietly chatting to one another across the way. Were these the new employees?

“Already lounging on the first day of the job, Y/L/N?”

You look to your left as you shrug off your heavy overcoat and see Honcho coming around the bar, a pile of clothes in his hands.

“Of course not. I just wasn’t sure who to report to,” you say with a shrug.

“Well, you’re looking at him,” he replies with a grin. You have to stop your mouth from falling open. Of all people, it had to be him? “What? Are you disappointed?” he asks as he continues across the room to the small group. You grab your stuff and walk over after him.

“No, I just thought -”

“Thought it would be Suga? As much as you like to charge in and demand shit sweetheart, Suga is a very busy man and doesn’t have the time to appease you all the time. Sit,” he commands with a jerk of his head. You narrow your eyes at him, but obey. It’s only then that you notice the other five persons staring at you in confusion as you bickered. You swallow the urge to huff in annoyance as Honcho begins speaking.

“Thank you all for being on time. Congratulations on being hired. I’m Honcho and I’ll be your manager at Spiral. You’ll meet the rest of the guys later. These are your uniforms. We have a strict adherence uniform policy, so please do your best to be dressed in your proper attire. If you have long hair, it will be tied up or back in a bun or ponytail. Ladies, we ask that you wear red lipstick to match our colors. We’ve also given you options for bottoms: a skirt or pants.” Honcho holds up a pair of each for demonstration. “Whatever you decide to wear is up to you. We only ask that all your shoes are closed toed and we would prefer no sneakers; we’re trying to sell a vibe here. Any questions?” He doesn’t wait for anyone to speak up. “No? Great. If you could introduce yourselves to each other, that’d be fantastic.” He looks over to the boy on the other side of the booth.

“Uh, hi. My name is Micah. I’m 21 and recently graduated from college.” He tosses up a small wave before pushing his glasses further up his nose. He’s narrow shouldered and naturally blonde. Cute, if you will. They would chew him up and eat him alive if he continued to be so timid.

“Hey, I’m Luca. I’m 23 and a graduate student at Oberman.” Luca definitely fit the vibe Spiral os going for with his dark hair and dark eyes. He would have no problem wooing the numerous women who would walk through the door. A great business move in your opinion.

“Hey y’all, Savannah here. I’m 22 and working part time while in school.” Another blonde hair, blue-eyed coworker. How fun. The bubbles in champagne had nothing on her as she beams at the rest of you around the table.

“I’m Jack. I’m 24 and I guess I’m here to save up for a new car? Need some extra cash,” he finishes with a bashful grin. The girl next to you snorts. Jack is a big man with broad shoulders and you would assume he was hired as additional security based on his size. Imagine a man as big as him bringing over your strawberry mojito? Exactly.

“Giselle. 21. Law student. Loans have to pay themself off somehow right?” Luca laughs and Giselle smiles. Yuck. If you weren’t already sick of the office romance - if you could call it that - between Laura and Paul at JM, you were going to have to endure another one here? Gods be with you.

“Y/N Y/L/N. I’m 22 and an event planner,” you say nonchalantly and turn to Honcho, waiting for his next instructions.

“Not going to tell us the reason you’re here?” he smirks and you roll your eyes.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“I’d like a lot of things, Y/L/N. In fact, I can think of a few -”

“Gross,” you say, interrupting him, your face turned down in disgust. He laughs.

“Always think someone wants something from you, huh?” He shakes his head, still chuckling. “Everyone, go get changed and I’ll explain your duties to you once you get back.”

The six of you ease out of the booth, grabbing your uniforms as you head to the restrooms to get changed. As you follow Savannah and Giselle, you can’t help but scan the hallway for anything you could have missed as the memory of your second night here flashed across your mind. There had to be something that you were missing.

“I hope these uniforms are cute,” Giselle grumbles as she steps into an empty stall.

“I’m sure it’ll look great,” Savannah chirps.

You step into your own individual stall and drop your stuff on the floor. Slipping out of your heels, you step out of your slacks and tug off your blouse. You hold up the uniform shirt. It’s a plain black t-shirt with the letters in red spelling out Spiral in a spiral formation. The pants are made of a faux leather shiny material. They look tight and the sides have cut outs with strings laced in them from hip to ankle. The skirt is exactly the same. You sigh. This was really the vibe?

You dress quickly and tug on your Doc Martens. Honcho would have to wait for the lipstick. Exiting the stall, you see Savannah trying to adjust the strings on her pants while chewing her lip.

“Is it supposed to be this exposed?” she asks, checking herself out in the mirror.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” Giselle says exiting the stall and tugging down the hem of her skirt.

“So much for equality in the workplace huh?” you say. The two of them laugh.

The three of you return to the main space, Micah, Luca, and Jack already back at the booth with Honcho. Their eyes widen when they see you.

“Looking good ladies,” Honcho calls with his traditional large grin. Of course he would comment.

“Yeah, yeah. What’s next?” Giselle asks as she wiggles her way back into the booth, trying to cover her modesty.

“We’re going to take a tour of the facilities, get you acquainted with the space, and fill out the last pieces of paperwork. We’ll also have you help with some of the decorations; don’t worry, you’re going to get paid for this session. Then, we’ll see you on Friday for your shifts,” he replies. “Alright, let’s go.”

Again, he doesn’t wait for you to follow. As you’re setting your belongings down to catch up with the rest of the group, you spot Jin heading towards the bar. Just the man who you needed to see.

“Are you coming Y/N?” Savannah calls to you as the group heads up to the second level.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there!” you lie, knowing damn well you’re going to ambush Jin. You pretend to search for something in your purse as you double-check the group is far enough on the second level to not notice you not following before you head over to Jin.

“Well hello Jin,” you say as you wiggle your way onto a bar stool.

“Y/N,” he says with a chuckle. “What can I do for you?”

“Just answer a few simple questions.” you smile as you rest your chin on your palm.

“Alright,” he replied skeptically.

“Where’d you move the body?” The bottle of Aperol nearly slips out of his grip as he turns to look at you.

“Excuse me?” There’s no laughter in his voice.

“The body of the man in the bathroom,” you clarify. “How’d you get it to disappear like that?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replies, busying himself with stocking up the bottles of alcohol under the shelf. He won’t meet your eyes. You know he’s lying; his body language says it all.

“Oh come on, Jin. You can tell me. It’s not like I’m going to go to the cops or anything,” you say nonchalantly. “Clearly they didn’t seem to care since they weren’t that thorough with their questions.”

“Y/N, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. You were concussed remember? Maybe you imagined whoever you’re talking about.” He glances up at you. You roll your eyes.

“Really Jin? You’re going to use the concussion line on me? You knew that I shot him; I told you that. I just want to know where you put him and why there were no reports of a missing man from the incident on the news at all,” you say with a shrug. He finally turns to face you.

“Maybe nobody reported him missing. Maybe he slipped out after you ducked behind the bar. What does it matter? Look, it was a traumatic night. For all of us. I don’t know anything about whatever or whoever you’re talking about. Hell, you probably don’t know either. Please, don’t make this working relationship anymore difficult for yourself than it already is. Just come in, keep your head down, and head out.” His hands are splayed out on the bar and the distance between you has closed significantly from when he’d started talking as he stares you down. “Worry about the things that concern you, like repaying your debt.” His tone is sharp and final. There’s no friendliness in his face either.

“Y/L/N! You’re not getting paid to sit on that pretty little ass of yours. Get up here now!” Honcho yelles down to you over the railing of the second floor balcony.

Ignoring Honcho, you cock your head and look at Jin again, thinking. “Okay Jin. Heard you loud and clear.”

You hop off the bar stool and adjust your skirt. You say nothing further as you head upstairs. It seems as though Jin would be of no help to you, but honestly, it didn’t matter. If it didn’t concern you, why was Jin lying about knowing what man you were talking about? Why had Suga tried to discreetly cover up that paper in his office the other day? What was really going on at Spiral? You’re determined to figure it, even if you have to work extra hours to do it. What happens in the dark must eventually come to light.

full masterlist // series masterlist // previous // next

joon-ipersgirl, 2020

[fandomsentertainment]

So I went off on a tangent sorry about that lol

Percy can warm his hot chocolate when it gets cold and make insta Popsicles for Estelle

He’s always the last to take a shower in the morning because the cold water doesn’t bother him.

Winter is the Jackson-Blofis kids favorite time of year. After watching Frozen Estelle begs Percy to “Do the magic! Do the magic!” At first he’s not sure he knows how but they go to Central Park after a snowfall and find a private space all to themselves for him to practice.

He learns how to control snow and ice much better. He creates slides and ice they can skate on in the meadows. He learns how to control the temperature of water to the extent that he can keep the air warm with steam while he and Estelle skate on their makeshift rinks.

He becomes a little obsessed with controlling the phasing of water more. He learns to hold all three phases of water in a single glass. He learns to make miniature hurricanes and thunderstorms in the palm of his hand. He learns to mold little figurines for Estelle out of water and freeze them as gifts for her.

One day she asks him to make her mermaid dance and he is thrilled to discover he can make the little ice figure around in the air to make it look likes she’s swimming.

One day they watch Avatar the last Airbender and Percy is enchanted by Katara. He learns that he can use water as a literal weapon and shield. He started off using it like a whip, a living coil of water that could reach as far as he wanted and do exactly as he commands. Then he learn he can fashion weapons out of ice. Monsters quickly learn that as long as there is water around, Percy Jackson is armed.

But Percy takes it a step further when he sees Katara and Toph escape the wooden prison by water ending sweat. He learns to manifest water. At first he is simply absorbing moisture from the air but soon he learns to create water from nothing. With a wave of his hand he can manifest the water and then form a dagger from it in seconds. Monsters quickly learn, Percy Jackson is Always armed.

The first time he created a sentient being he killed it. Estelle and him were playing with her ice mermaid as usual. Percy was focused on making it as realistic as possible when suddenly it began to glow a light blue. Estelle was delighted but Percy had his eyes closed in concentration. It wasn’t until the mermaid dropped out of the air and into his lap, gasping and withering around that he realized it had come to life. But like real mermaids of the sea she could not survive out of water. By the time he shook out of his shock and got her submerged in water she had already passed in what he knew was extricating pain.

He went to his father for advice after that, carrying the tiny creature in some satin his mother gave him for her. His father was shocked when he found out the extent of Percy’s powers. He was so proud of the accomplishment he didn’t realize how devastated Percy was about unintentionally killing his little creation. Poseidon brought the mermaid back to life for him along with some advice on the art of creation.

Before Percy left he warned him to not let all his abilities be public knowledge, it was better to be underestimated. What he didn’t tell Percy that the ability to fashion and create life was something only the gods could do. The fact a demigod had that ability without the restrictions of being a deity would not sit well with the other Gods, especially Zeus.

Percy went to buy a large tank and some friendly fish from his local pet store and had it all ready for when Estelle arrived from school. They named her Elsa and took very good care of her.

The first time he bloodbended was accidental too. They were at the park on a warm summer day eating Popsicle sticks Percy had made out of a carton of orange juice. Percy ran into an old friend and was chatting while Estelle played. Neither of them noticed the dog. Estelle was rather fond of animals so naturally she tried to pet the animal not noticing all the warning signs. When it mauled her Percy felt as if the very blood in his vines had boiled and busted. The dog had Estelle’s arm in its jaw for all of five seconds before it became a soup of blood, fur and bone on the forest floor. Estelle was okay and bandaged and cleaned up at home

Sally sat Percy down to have a Long talk about the weight and responsibilities of his powers. He completely understood and agreed that bloodbending was an Off Menu power.

But he was still intrigued by bloodbending on a smaller level. He started off practicing on himself. He could make his skin move around and wiggle his ears using his powers, soon he learned that he could change certain things about his body. He fixed his teeth himself, he toned his tan lines and made his hair instantly as long or as short as he wanted.

It came as a surprised to no one in the Jackson-Blofis household that he later figured out how to shape shift. But he still kept it small. A few pounds of muscle here, take off a few pound of fat there. He could quicken and lower his own metabolism with ease. He could control how much adrenaline was coursing through his body as he pleased. He began actually reading up on biology to see how much he was able to control.

It was one night when he went out looking for Estelle - who had stormed off angry about something -  that he was nearly killed. He had been looking for an hour unaware she had already come home when the mortal approached him with a gun demanding all his money. Of course he didn’t bring any money out to look for his sister but the guy didn’t believe him. Honestly Percy didn’t expect the guy to Actually shoot and when he did Percy was more upset at the fact that he was actually shot then the fact that he was in danger.

The man had run off and Percy not liking hospitals went back home for ambrosia. But the bullet had hit an artery and he was bleeding heavily. He collapsed halfway home panicked and not sure how to stop the bleeding. That’s when he remembered his mermaid and how Estelle said she glowed before coming to life. He manifested some water in his hand and willed it to glow. He put it to his chest and the water latched to him, stopping the bleeding and numbing the pain. By the time he got home he wound had nearly finished healing. Sally watched in awe as the last few bits of water fused and merged with his skin.

After that he started keeping jugs of this strange glowing life giving water in his house. He carried a water bottle of it around with him all the time. It was a safer alternative to ambrosia and mortals could use it too. He would go to CHB and CJ and fill large barrels with this water which he named katara (cause he’s a HUGE nerd at the end of the day)

Pretty soon katara became more popular than ambrosia among demigods and mortal in the know. They found that if they added regular water to katara it would gain the properties of katara. Pretty soon a pool was built at both camps to house katara. Percy was glad to see his creation helping so many people but he had unfortunately caught the gods attention.

He was called to Olympus and questioned about what he was trying to do with this “katara”. He told it how it was. He had accidently created it so he gave it to other people as well. He wasn’t even making a profit off of it which he easily could if he wanted too.

The gods in reality didn’t have a problem with katara, they knew it was helpful and did nothing but benefit people. The underlying message in calling upon Perseus Jackson was to let him know he was being observed and to warn him to watch himself.

Percy understand that message loud and clear, but he really didn’t give a fuck. He especially didn’t give a fuck when he made his own island in the Gulf of Mexico. Grover actually helped him with that. Grover created a list of endangered species that needed a safe haven from human intervention and would coexist well. Hazel helped them create a barrier similar to the barriers at the camps around the island. Percy set to work with making the water surrounding the island rich with katara. And in a few months they had a lush and beautiful island that Percy dubbed the Garden of Me.

Poseidon actually came to visit Percy’s island and he was surprised when he saw his son, asleep in a field of rare flowers glowing with dormant power. Of course only a god could see that glow from within. Poseidon began to realize his son was unintentionally becoming an immortal at the least, a powerful god at the most. That’s when he decided to train Percy.

He taught him how to mold and shape lifeforms that already existed to help with Grover’s cause of saving the Wild. He taught him the limits and devastating abilities Percy contained. He showed him how to properly shapeshift into anything he wanted without having to alter his original form. He taught him how to materialize not only water but other liquids and water based materials.

Percy reveled in his new found powers. He not only got to spend time with his father but being TAUGHT was sooo much better than just figuring it out on his own. He found that he and his father are actually pretty similar and get along really well.

As for Annabeth at first she was worried about the path Percy was going down with his powers but she is realized to see him focus his powers on the creation of his little island. Well, not so little anymore. Percy continued to expand the island to accommodate the now hundreds of endangered species of plants and animals residing there. As far as the outside world was concerned some of these animals had gone extinct, but they lived peacefully on Garden of Me. Now the island was nearly 200,000 sq miles and took up most of the Gulf of Mexico. Annabeth could only guess how Hermes managed to explain that to the mortals.

Annabeth and Percy spend a lot of their free time on the island. In fact the whole Jackson-Blofis household do. Afterall the island is big enough to house a small nation. But Percy and Annabeth still love the idea of having an entire island to themselves to do whatever they want. When Annabeth gets pregnant Percy nearly erupts one of his rivers with joy. Although marriage had never been on their minds (they kind of just assumed they would just always be together regardless) they decide to get married on their private island.

It was a wedding that rivaled even the gods weddings. Mortals, demigods, gods, nymphs, satyrs, dryads, cyclopes and more all came to the celebration that lasted nearly an entire week. At first Percy was nervous about inviting so many people. Afterall it wasn’t just an island but a sanctuary for plants and animals that didn’t exist anywhere else on Earth. But Grover ensured Percy he and his helpers would take care of crowd control. Annabeth and Percy honeymooned in one of the beautiful underwater caves on the island while their wedding raged on for days. Clean up was a bitch but the next few weeks were the happiest of their lives.

That was of course, until the war began. Oddly enough it was a war between mortals but it had devastating implications. The threat of nuclear war had never been so real between the US and Korea. Percy and Annabeth (now 5 months pregnant) anxiously moved their mortal families to the island and offered sanctuary to their friends as well. Percy strengthened the barrier to his island and discussed with Grover about making a pop up second island to house other animal species that would be devastated by the event of nuclear war. In the end He, Grover and Annabeth decided a second island was a necessity.

It was enormous. Nearly 600,000 sq miles and hugged the shared coast of California and Mexico. The plan was to evacuate the camps. A third of the island would be used as a third camp safe from the war of mortals. This part of the island would have everyday animals and plants. Cows, pigs, horses, dogs, foxes, bats, vegetables, fruits, grains etc. It would serve as a human sanctuary while the other ⅔  of the island would be reserved for other endangered species. The planning was intense. They had to be careful to keep species that would compete to extinction seperate, they had to avoid invasive plants and animals or at the least keep them contained. And they had to explain to people why they’re pet cats were Absolutely NOT allowed on the island. (Cats are one of the deadliest animals of earth accounting for the majority of extinctions among small animals).

The gods were helpful too. They could see the danger the mortal war posed to the demigods and knew they needed demigods. The only god that as far as Percy was concerned was not being helpful was his father. Poseidon insisted Perceus took up godhood, but Percy had a family on the way and he couldn’t imagine a life where he continued to exist without them. Poseidon tried to convince him to just make Annabeth immortal as well, after all that's what he did to his wife. But Percy didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to focus on keeping everyone alive.

That’s when the boats began to arrive. People in California fleeing the conflict but with no funds for now overpriced flight began to take boats and try to cross the borders of Mexico, Guatemala, and El Salvador. But Percy’s island was only a few hundred miles off shore. The boat that got lost on the way down the coast ended up on the second island. Percy couldn’t turn them away.

Despite all their preparation they weren’t ready for when the first missile struck. In fact no one was ready. Everyone expected the obvious targets. Major cities, military bases, maybe even the white house. No one could have guessed their target was the top left corner of Wyoming, where the Yellowstone National Park sat unassuming. No one could have guessed anyone would be that crazy.

The explosion was deafening. Even from the second island they could see as the cloud of sulfuric ash umbrellaed out in all directions. They could hear the continued explosions from the volcano itself. The gods did nothing. They would not interfere with mortal activity unless it directly threatened them. All the inhabitants of the island could do was sit and listen to the sounds of millions dying, and watch the cloud of ash choke the sky.

[taleof2hearts]

I slept for over 11 hours last night. I needed it so badly. I’ve been working non-stop on either my mortgage company or this new property. I have to finish it by Thursday, so it can be photographed on Friday and then I can hop on the plane Friday night for 10 days… I’m so excited for that… the last fall break with both of my boys. So where do you go... Disney. Two travel and 8 full days of parks and relaxing at an amazing hotel. Just a few more days of killing it and I will be there.

Looks like He is on His way to Paris… it is that time. Oct 1 came and went without either of us texting or posting anything to each other. He had texted me a couple days before that… no fore replay or warm up, just jumped in and asked me to send Him a video of me fucking some other guy. It just seemed off. He should have asked the week before on His birthday… I might have sent one then. I have always wanted to make Him happy and give Him whatever was in my power to do so, but the other night just felt wrong and off.

Im now at the point where I’m not sure what I am to Him. I think at one time He was in love with me, but, I think it is something else now.… I mean, why would He invite me over to literally “get Him off” with no expectation of me receiving anything… then ghost me a day later after I go over? It’s pretty shitty. There is no one who would do such a thing to someone they actually cared about.

And, what am I trying so hard for anyways? The sex had become mediocre at best. He stopped trying to please me and make sure that I enjoyed it almost a year ago. I can’t even remember the last time He went down on me… It definitely was not in 2021. I miss the guy who actually took pride in His fucking skills. There is definitely a performance difference with Him pre and post Julie… or maybe He just doesn’t really give a shit about me anymore and all those times He was just lonely.

Even though there are several others who are actively pursuing me, Ive decided not to see anyone at the moment. I got my full panel STD tests back and I’m completely negative across the board. I’ve also decided that to fuck me, they all have to wear condoms every time… I want to stay clean like this. D is a rare occurrence, but I do not even want a rare slip up. N rarely us with anyone else other than me now… not even his wife. I just do not want to go through the whole “I’ll leave her if you want me to” bullshit again. And Bill is just wonderful fun… but, he always uses condoms. I think I need to meet someone new.

Im so jealous that He’ll be in Paris this week… if that is in fact where He is going. I need to be back there. My soul needs it. I had wanted to spend several weeks there this past summer, but Covid stopped that. I am hopeful that I can go in April. We’ll see.

I wonder if He’ll think of me in Paris. Will they be good thoughts or bad thoughts? Will He finally visit my favorite parc Les Jardins du Luxembourg… will He try and sail the little boats there like what I did as a little girl and what my boys did when they were little boys. Will He have time to sit on the lawn of the Eiffel Tower, what I used to call the big parc when I was little, otherwise known as the Champs de Mars, and have a glorious picnic and sip champagne? Or start at Les Invalides and stroll down Rue de Grenelle, past where I used to live on Sq de la Tour Maubourg, then over to Rue Cler for all the shops and restaurants?

He and I would have such an amazing time there. It makes me sad that I’m not what He wants. There are so many times that I think I could be the One for Him… but I know that is just me projecting my feelings. Still it is a nice day dream.

i so need to stop dreaming and get to work. Friday will be here before I know it.

[blindrapture]

Thursday June 26th, 2014 [Part 1]

"You’ve got to survive no matter what you do." OXFORD COMPOSITION NOTEBOOK OCT RULED 5 Sq./In. 80 SHEETS “It doesn’t matter how slow you go, so long as you don’t stop.”

145 AM I’m so sick of these streets. If I have to walk up another hill tonight, I’m going to... uh. Why is the sky so blue? 1:52 AM Made it home. 1:57 AM Shopping’s put away! ... sigh Journal, you ever get the feeling you’re stuck in something? 2:30 AM I’ve just been sitting here, staring at the clock. This is an awful lot of my nights now. Then again, what exactly is there to do. I don’t exactly have places to be. 2:40 AM FUCK A KNOCK AT THE DOOR I ACTUALLY HAVE COMPANY 2:42 AM Two birds were fighting and it just happened to hit my front door. Cool. 11:44 AM Fell asleep. I could go back to sleep, but I’m awfully curious about something. The sky was “so blue” last night, according to what I wrote, but it’s fine and grey now. So the blue probably wasn’t something to be worried about. Still curious about it, though. I kinda even remember the blue, which is odd. I’ll be seeing a doctor today, though. Will make sure to ask about that. 1:00 PM On my way to the doctor’s now. Gonna journal it for the walk there. ‘Cause. I feel like it this time. 1:04 PM underscore has narrow streets this part of town. underscore is the name of the town, I mean. It’s a pretty weird name, but habit renders it dull all the same. Same can be said about the town. 1:06 PM The narrow streets, though. I don’t think they’re actually that narrow. I think people are just used to saying they’re narrow and it sticks with you. Cars can still get through however they please. Keeps me up at night sometimes, gets on my nerves. 1:11 PM I suppose I complain a lot. But I don’t think I complain quite as much as it seems. I think I just only use my journal for complaining these days. The function that my journal once held is now served by other things? But meanwhile looking at my journal makes me look like I have a problem with everything under the sun. Where is the sun right now? Behind one of the many grey clouds up there. 1:19 PM Someone is following me. I think. Some guy, he’s taking the same turns as me, at least. 1:22 PM I’m at the doctor’s office, the guy kept walking past. I guess I’m fine. 1:39 PM Gotta stop by the pharmacy later and pick this stuff up. Gonna try to cut back on sweets. Didn’t have much to say about the memory things, just asked me to keep coming back, keep checking in. Where the hell do I go now. Guess I could drop by the bookstore. 145 PM I’m so sick of these streets. If I have to walk up another hill today, I’m going to... uh. Why is the sky so blue? Oh yeah fuck I was supposed to bring that up, not the memory things. Whoops. “Excuse me!” !!! It’s the guy! The guy who wasn’t stalking me! “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Uh. Maybe! I’ve been many places, met many people. Who are you? sorry how do you spell that, N what “It doesn’t matter. I definitely know you. Hermes, right?” Uh. “Messenger of the gods?” I’m.. Jordan... “Whatever. You’re the one I’m looking for. I remember you well now.” I’m sorry, I don’t remember you at all “Yes, that’s what I’d expect. Come with me, I can fill you in when we’re safe.” With you? To where? “An old abandoned museum out of town. Preferably while it’s still daylight.” Uh.. “C’mon, while there’s still time.” he’s starting to leave Okay look I will come with you, but you have to tell me what the rush is. “No, I don’t.” It’s my one condition. I won’t cooperate if you don’t. “...” that stopped him ... “..it’s sensitive information. Unexpected developments.” So fill me in. I’m the messenger of the gods, after all. If anyone should know, it’s me. “So you do remember.” Maybe. Maybe I’m just using what you told me. It’s what I do best, process information. Now seriously. I can get the police and tell them you’re harassing me if you continue to insist without informing me: What do you want me for? he’s staring at me, does not seem to like my threat You don’t have to tell me everything, man. How about I just ask a direct question? silence Is it world-threatening? 2:22 PM In a taxi now. Heading onto the I-580. Taxi driver’s complaining about the traffic. “The world really has gone to shit.” I mean. You’re not wrong? “Would you look at that. That’s just disgusting.” Some big rig has evidently driven off of the interstate, plowed through the fence, up the hill and through the foliage, and tore a hole into the reservoir behind it. Unfiltered water has spilled out and reached the road. N guy told driver not to slow down. “Ah, I’m rubbernecking. It won’t take two seconds.” rolling down his window “Keep driving.” Dude, it’s his car, there’s no one behind us, just let him “Hey. Keep driving. I didn’t say stop.” driver has turned around in his seat, looking in disbelief “Mister, I been driving assholes like you around since 6 this morning. I’ve got tolerance, but now I don’t. Are you gonna let me look at a fucking spectacle for five measly seconds, or are you gonna keep being a fuckin’ baby about it?” N guy is fuming but driver isn’t backing down N guy “Fine. Fine.” ... driver turned back around “bevakoopho-- what the fuck” what where did the big rig go where did the trail it left go where did the water go 2:25 PM 35th Avenue. “Need gas.” Driver’s pulling up to a Chevron. N has his head in his hand. 2:26 PM “This is taking too long.” It’s only been like thirty seconds. We’ve got plenty of daylight left. “We should have been there much sooner.” Then why’d you hail a taxi? “I thought taxis respected the promise of pay for specific requests such as ‘and step on it.’” They do if you promise to pay. Did you? “It should be obvious!” Yes, it should be, you should be explicit about your intentions. “Do you know how close you are to testing my patience?” Do you know how little I give a shit? You want specific compliance, you’ve got to give reason. “I’m fucking royalty.” What you do in your spare time is your business. “I mean I am royalty.” Ah, so that’s why you need help doing simple things, you’re from a pre-apocalyptic bubble. “...you’ve got a fast tongue.” And what I do in my spare time is “WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY” 2:28 PM ‘Pre-apocalyptic.’ Huh. It’s just occurred to me that I had entirely forgotten there was an apocalypse. That sounds like a weird thing to forget, though? I dunno. At least I remembered it in time for that sick burn. ... ..... Okay yeah he’s taking a while to pump gas. Want to go see what’s the hold-up? ... Want me to go see? ..nod 2:29 PM Nah, I see him in there, he’s waiting to pay and stuck in line. I could use a smoke anyway. ... N’s knocking on the taxi window glaring at me Oh right fuck, this is a gas station I’ll smoke over here By this sign Promising a good deal on highway cheeseburgers, with rambling graffiti on the back: “O U Didnet-Knovis who guard your Doors, who swallow transitions and who gulp down the ren of the dead who pass you by when they are allotted to the Mines of Self-Defeating Conquest... May you guide the Doppelgänger, may you open the Doors for him, may the Earth open its own mines to him, may you make him triumphant over his eggnemies.” Whatever the hell that means. 2:31 PM SCREAMS GUNFIRE COMING FROM IN THE GAS STATION BUILDING SHOP THING Y’KNOW, THE PORTABLE CONVENIENCE STORE portable, what am I talking about, it’s the... y’know, not the gas station itself with the pumps but the place you get the sandwiches and sometimes pay for gas depending on th fuck IT’S BEING ROBBED AND I’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING maybe I can sneak in without being seen IT’S ONE OF THOSE GODDAMN DOORS WITH THE DING-DONG THERE’S SOMEONE IN A SKI MASK STANDING BY THE COUNTER POINTING A GUN AT ME NOW “Settle down, don’t be a hero now.” chk-chkkk ...pfft. “What’s so funny?” No, it’s just. You only now cocked the gun? So you weren’t actually a threat until now, like, nearly a minute into the robbery? “Wha. Shut it, kid.” Both hands on the gun now, oh my god so you weren’t even trying to aim at me before? What the fuck incentive did you think I’d have to fear you? “Hey hey hey, don’t come any closer! I’m the one with the firearm here!” Yeah? “Yeah!” So? “..what? So I’m a threat now! Hands where I can see them!” ...my hands are where you can see them. I’m just scribbling in a journal, not exactly threatening you. Are you that scared? “I...” Is that why you chose to put on a ski mask? Dude, nobody cares about your secret identity. “I said don’t come closer!” BANG BANG “There! See what happens, everyone, when you try to be a hero! You get shot! Any other heroes, or can I just take the money and run already?” “Uh yeah, hi, I’m a hero too.” “Good, then I-- oh for fuck’s sake” POW 2:40 PM Everything’s sorted. Robber didn’t actually check to confirm that he had shot me. I just dropped to the ground once I guessed he was going to fire. Was sure he’d have caught on, but he was pretty scared, and he didn’t even notice the cashier rising up behind him with a piece of rebar. So. Police are on their way. The robber, out cold, has been unmasked. No one recognizes him. Admittedly he did get me, grazed my shoulder with what turned out to be his only bullet. Cashier brought out a First-Aid Kit, I’m fine now. Bit stiff, but that’s okay. Mister N has, just now, come out of the taxi; I see him out there through the window looking at us. Taxi driver, whose name is Jakkal, wants to wait for the police to arrive, and then he’s said he’ll take us where we’re going. I’m pretty stressed right now! 2:41 PM Outside with N Yeah, uh, he’s coming in a little bit. Gotta wait for the police to get here. “I see.” Do you want to come inside for now? There’s refreshments and stuff. “Coffee?” Yes. “........yeah, I’d love some.” 2:47 PM There they are! Wow, how far away is the station? Cashier’s gone outside and is talking to them The cops, I mean They’re coming in now “Afternoon, folks. Where’s? Wow, out like a light.” cashier “Nothing like a good swing from a piece of lumbar. Rebar, I mean.” talky cop chuckle “Which one of you had the rebar?” “I did.” “Damn, must have a hell of a swing.” saw the handgun, picked up “Did the assailant fire?” “Only once, at him.” points cop smiled at me less talky cop’s hand on my shoulder “Are you alright?” Yeah, thanks. cashier “He came in and distracted the, um, the assailant. It allowed me to take my shot. Am I going to be charged for assault?” talky cop “In this day and age? Nah! Besides, this was self-defense. Open-shut. We’ll take this unruly customer back with us, get some statements from you ladies and gentlemen, and get out of your hair.” 2:56 PM Jakkal and I gave our statements, as have a few of the other witnesses. N’s out there now by their cars, the less talky cop is writing his statements down on a notepad, looks like an even faster writer than I am. Maybe they’re paid for speed. Maybe I should look into becoming that kind of police. I don’t know, today’s been a bit of a weird day. And I feel like it’s just getting started?

2:57 PM talky cop has coffee, is talking about delay “We were already responding to something when you called. If you’ll pardon my language, it was a, heh, a real clusterfuck, the one we were doing.” “Can I ask what happened?” “Oh, sure. It’s nothing inappropriate or particularly confidential. Was just. Vehicles have started going missing.” “Was there a big theft?” “No, nothing like that, or I don’t think anyway. We got this call at near eight this morning, officers over at Coast Guard Island couldn’t find their cars. We were told to look out for any stolen cruisers, but we figured either they’d turn up or they wouldn’t, y’know? Sometimes kids get into them, take them for joyrides, and our capabilities for tracking units aren’t what they used to be.” Because of the apocalypse? o: “Mhm. Been nearly three years now, and funding’s never been the same. Less than an hour later, we get another call, a butcher needs to do his weekly commute for stock, but his van is gone. Then another call, an irate father accusing us of impounding his banged-up camaro, yet we haven’t impounded a civilian vehicle since two years ago. Then another call, the deputy chief is out for blood, he says someone took his sister-in-law’s truck, wants all units on lookout, and he’s promising big payouts for whoever finds the thief.” “Wow. That sounds like a worrying crime wave.” “Hold that thought-- by around about noon, our phone lines had to be turned off altogether, because damn near half the city was trying to report missing vehicles.” “Oh my god?” “But here’s the thing” leaning forward, lowered voice “We don’t think this was just some crime wave, ‘cause Sanford” gestures out window, he means less talky cop “and I looked into that. And on the way to the station, we.. saw it happen. Cars were there one minute, then just vanished, with nothing to indicate they were ever there in the first place.” Jakkal corroborates this with the big rig we saw “Something’s going on. We don’t know what it is yet, but, uh... keep an... uh... eye out.......” what what’s that sound that sounds like loud bass I can make out words “This case is possibly the worst that I have ever seen. I see how vulnerable we as a people can truly be! If you want to see, Go on and tear it out of me.”

2:59 PM okay we’re all outside there’s something out there, something moving, something playing music hang on I think we can get a better view over by the overpass what the fuck is that.

3:00 PM it’s big enough to use the highway as tracks for its mammoth-sized tank-style wheels, or are those legs? it’s made of something that does not look real like plumage meant for just outside of our eye’s colour spectrum except for a frozen grin looking up into the sky, seeming to hover in front of the the What would I even call this thing this leviathan? can I make out a hideous orange elephantine nose it’s a bit too limber for that I think I think that’s its head its real head it’s it’s an armadillo. “Believe in Number City.” “Jordan, take cover!” 3:10 PM it scorched the earth cannons in its hard shell fired ballistic missiles far into the horizon California’s hills are burning. N found me, pulled me away and the tank steadily rolled through where we’d been standing, crumbling the overpass bridge without strain talky cop wasn’t so lucky neither were some of the other bystanders. as it passed, I could get a better look at its armadillo head, its peering silver eyes taking in all responses from quivering boroughs spared by uptempo it looked perfectly organic, that armadillo head, as did the armoured back, certainly looking a natural shell but I’m telling you, for locomotion it was a tank of steel. And it has gone for now. N says there are more. Says they’re coming from the sea? Just steadily rolling onto beaches, as if they’d crossed the Pacific on the ocean floor. He was trying to get me out of the city before they arrived. 3:14 PM Jakkal already had the motor running, he was gonna drive off without us before we found him. He told us to get in, and this time N didn’t even need to say “step on it.” Not that he would have. Hi, I’m running on nothing but adrenaline right now 3:17 PM “Here, this is the place, can you stop here?” “‘Merritt Museum of Anthropology.’ What, have you got people here or something?” “Not exactly. There’s a way out.” A way out? Of what? “Well, there should be one.” got out of the taxi, heading towards the building “If it’s still there...” Jakkal’s looking at me expectantly Hey, I have no clue what this guy’s on about. “He’s your brother, isn’t he?” What? No! I just met him today. “Funny. You have the same nose.” Are you coming in with us, Jakkal? “No, no. I’ll stay here with my car. I need a moment.” Oh. You sure? You can go, you don’t have to wait for us. “It’s okay. I trust my odds with you guys.” Well. Okay! We’ll be inside, then.

3:19 PM N went around back He’s trying all the doors “Goddammit. May need to break a window.” Can I help? “Just. Just give me a minute. Gotta think. Go stand somewhere for a bit.”

3:22 PM On a walk around the site. Look at all the life! There’s plants and birds, and rocks and things. I see some sand and hills too, like it’s just drastically a desert all of a sudden around the corner from the museum. Lots of flies buzzing, and that sky is punctuated with a thick black cloud of smoke from the... thing tank’s rampage. Heat is hot. Ground is dry. But the air is full of hey someone left a hat here.

3:24 PM I may have no idea what’s coming, but I think I can handle it. Maybe I’m just happy to wear a hat again. When was the last time I wore a hat? God. Must have been around the time I first came to... to.. fuck, what was it called again. The, uh, the town I’m in. “Under” something. ...no c’mon my memory’s not that bad, I should know this. Underline, undercarriage, understand, undermensch... ..fuck. Whatever! When I first came here, Matkaopas gave me a trilby to make up for the one I lost in.. somewhere else, somewhere eldritch. Hang on, was that me? Feels like these are the memories of someone else. I dunno. I’m heading back.

3:29 PM The door’s been pried off, I guess he got it open Inside is, just as he said, an abandoned museum-- lights off, I’m finding my way by the light from the door and windows only I can hear footsteps from further in Echoed coughs In through the double doors and into the F building, according to that sign

3:30 PM this is just a bunch of classrooms what the hell kind of museum has classrooms (note: wasn’t sarcasm, genuinely don’t know) Hello? N, are you there? ...also, N, if you are there, what the heck is your name? ..... Nothing in that room, and I hear no response in general.

3:32 PM oh gross, a staircase leading up to the second storey which has no windows and is thus pitch black. Fuck this, I’m waiting outside.

3:33 PM Found Jakkal looking around outside. Hey, uh. You seen the other dude? nods “Yeah” Know where he went? “He said he was going into the P building.” Oh. Wait, really? Where’s that? “I don’t know. He headed off in that direction.” points away from F building “I’ll come with you.” Right. “Something up?” Yeah, I mean no, uh. I guess I’ve just been hearing things. Let’s go.

3:34 PM walking “What do you mean, ‘hearing things?’” I thought he went into that building there, the F building, because that’s what he was trying to open last I checked, and the door’s open now. Buildings make creepy noises sometimes, thought I could hear him somewhere deeper in coughing. “Huh. That’s funny.” Hm? “Oh, I don’t mean anything by it. It’s just strange.” Yeah. I guess. ... “Do you...” slowing down “think we should check F together? Maybe he is in there, maybe I misheard.” I dunno. I think we’d need to find a flashlight first, it’s dark as crap inside. “Well...” pulled a flashlight out of his back pocket Son of a gun! “Maintaining my car means always being prepared.” You’re cool. “Haha, thank you.” 3:36 PM “Ah, there! Try the lights?” flipped the switch, it clicked but nothing happened That figures. “So this is a museum? I see lots of classrooms.” I know, right? I was confused too. I don’t know if this place really passes for a museum. “I imagine this isn’t the museum building, then.” Yeah. Fair deduction. he calls out “Hello? Mister Asshole! Are you there? It’s us!” Pfft. Hey, I’m sorry about earlier, I’m sure he meant “Shh. Listen.” ... “Do you hear that?” I don’t know? What? “I thought I heard a door open.” ...fuck, man, don’t tell me that “Alright, you can stand up to a man with a gun, but a door scares you?” I was caught off-guard by him, adrenaline kicked in! “Then let it kick you again. We need courageous drives now, from both of us. I’m a little scared too.” hnng deep breath Okay. Where do we go. “This way. Stay close.” 3:37 PM passing door after door, some closed, some open we’re kicking up dust with each stride jakkal’s holding his shirt up to his nose and is breathing through it I’m just. trekking on scanning the hallways through vaguely illuminated beams like his flashlight is our collective fifth eye granting passage through an abyss of material debris some posters still hang from the walls, may have been part of rigorous context once, or may have been fluid student experiments promoted by enthusiastic faculty the end result is something about accreditation I don’t quite know what accreditation is this poster doesn’t really make me want to know, though

3:40 PM we’ve both stopped because there’s footsteps above the floor above, I mean step...  step..   step. they stopped somewhere ahead of us above and ahead of us, I mean. or. okay that was pretty obvious given context clues. why am I still writing. jakkal’s lightly moving forward pointing his light at a doorway it’s another stairwell going up and. therefore, coming down from the floor above. step step step thud thud thud thud thud thaaaat’s the sound of descending a staircase what do we do what do we do “uh.. Hey, excuse me?” jakkal called up the stairs a gasp, a CRASH, and clitter clatter, a groaaaan “YOU FUCKING RUNTS, YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A FUCKING HEART ATTACK, DON’T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, THIS BUILDING IS NOT OPEN FOR STUDENTS ANYMORE, oh my back my back, DON’T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO... to...” tapered off jakkal’s flashlight shines up the stairwell, revealing that it’s.. it’s a janitor, sitting at the bottom of a set of stairs and rubbing her back, surrounded by toppled cleaning products, she’s looking at us blankly now “..you’re not students, are you.” didn’t sound like a question Um! 3:44 PM We helped her up. Her name’s Mrs. Dana, and yeah no she was who we heard and she’s the one with the cough. She hasn’t seen anyone else besides us. We have pretty much no reason to be in this building, it’s entirely just for college stuff, the museum-- which isn’t even a museum but a series of collections-- is “probably over in P.” Where Jakkal said N was going. So yeah, I feel silly. We’re outside again now. She’s pointed us in the right direction. 3:45 PM Oh hey, there it is, like practically visible from outside F. And there’s N-dude, beckoning to us from a balcony accessible by exterior stair. “You took your time!” Yeah, well! You didn’t exactly give us a lot to go on! “I told the driver exactly where I’d be!” His name’s Jakkal! By the way, what the heck is yours, seriously, I need a better reference than just “N” ...yeah whatever it is you just said, can you spell that for me already! Seriously! okay hang on N y a r l a t h o... ...you gotta be kidding me.

[TO BE RESUMED.]

[askifwehaveavocados-a]

          ( so i wasn’t going to make a post about once upon a time because ... i legit stopped caring about the show when they promoted meghan to season regular and sidelined her completely. that was a fucking dick move and i have lost all of my interest in jumping back on the bandwagon since -- for reference, i’ve seen the show up to season 5, save for the queens of darkness arc in 4b ( i may watch that anyway because i love cruella and her pure evilness? ). i stopped watching entirely after ruby slippers ( 5x18 ).

          under the cut is going to be some rants, some opinions, yadda yadda, no one curr, i know. but i’m going to put the important things that i had at the end of the post here because i think some people who are upset need to hear it:

          do not let what’s happening in canon ruin your love for your character! YOU are writing this character. YOU can choose to be canon divergent, to select what you want to be part of YOUR personal interpretation of the character’s story. 

          if you want to be excited about the change up, BE EXCITED. if you’re angry, BE ANGRY. don’t let anyone bully you into thinking one way or the other.

         we all have very different journeys with this show. some of our journeys stopped when our faves were cast aside. some of them continued, and will go on until the show finds it’s end.

         NO ONE CAN DICTATE THAT JOURNEY BUT YOU. and your journey shouldn’t end because of canon. mine definitely hasn’t. i’ve been writing ruby for 2 and 1/2 years ( well after her last appearance in season 3 ) and i still love her character so immensely and wholly, and i hope that shines through in my writing. it doesn’t matter what’s happened in canon and whether or not i agree with it, because i’ve taken what the show has given me and built upon it in a way that has made her, i think, more fleshed out than what was given to us. i’m both a canon and canon divergent blog, and that works for me. it keeps my love for her alive.

          keep your love alive, because THERE IS A REASON you’re writing this/these character(s).

          and now for the rantage:

          i wanted to say that i get not wanting to watch anymore if your faves have decided ( or have had it decided for them ) to leave. it’s one hell of a mood killer. at this point, i consider myself a seasons 1 & 2 fan strictly, and a ruby lucas fan completely, even if i’m salty af about the turn her canon took. unless there is a dorothy around that would want to write it and maybe work on the existing canon ( eg. make the time they spent together have A LOT more character building ), i’m pretty much canon divergent from season 3 onward ( if you have ANY questions about this, please come to me! i have a verse where she goes back to the ef, but ends up returning to storybrooke and one where she never left; yes, not watching the show makes that difficult, but if you’re willing to give me a quick synopsis and/or answer any questions i have, i’m happy to play in a world where she’s been in sb this whole time. otherwise, 99% of my writing takes place in seasons 1-3 ). i don’t hate the ship, but i think it really needed more time and i think it’s bs that it was more or less shoved down our throats because a&e wanted to essentially silence the sq/lgbtq+ shippers. because that is all i saw the ship as -- there was no build up, there was nothing there and while i’m ALL about inclusion and can totally see ruby as bi/pan ( i personally play her pan ), i think they went about it the wrong way and did the “very special GAY EPISODE!” they promised the ship was NOT going to be.

          sorry, i just got way into my salt there. xD

          i see both sides of this, tbh. on the one hand, it’s very obvious that the show’s current formula STOPPED WORKING ages ago. the only people who are still on board are cs shippers, sq shippers who are still holding out hope, and fans of individual characters ( i’m sure there are other groups -- like the rumbelle shippers who just want things to go back to the way they were -- but i’m generalizing ).

          i think it’s a dick move to essentially fire people who seem to have wanted to continue their characters’ story ( emilie and bex’s posts seem to have hinted that they WANTED to stay on board ). i’m interested to see how they’re going to make it work, especially without emma. i don’t ship cs. i don’t like the ship. BUT i’m hoping that it will bring good things for hook, because i hate the lovesick puppy he’s become.

          personally? i think they should just call it quits after 6. they got their cs endgame, which seems like it’s going to crash and burn if colin is still part of the show and jen isn’t. they’re not going to GAIN any followers with a change up -- and if they do, it’s going to be minimal compared to the people who are going to stop watching altogether.

          in my opinion, it’s a sinking ship.

          BUT THAT’S JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION. if you don’t agree with it, i will NOT FAULT you, just as i expect YOU not to fault ME for my opinions. we can still be friends, we can still write and create beautiful universes together even if i’m not on board anymore. 

          because the ONE thing i will ALWAYS be on board with is my character. she is my love and even though i’m swamped with drafts, i still enjoy HER. )

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 29.03.13 lb

me, waiting for ulhas to get into his fulllllll ghaati form today like... 

lmao, even his tadi waala music is ghaati. 😂😂😂

me trying to avoid at looking at nakuul with the non kanji eyes to avoid scaringgggg myself: 

there so much stuff hanging off him, lord. bas ek nazar battu nimbu mirchi ki kami hai. 😕😕😕

oh kameeni, why are you so awful???? bechaara mahi (ve!) 😥😥😥

i can’t say the word “mahi” without adding “ve” after it. i can’t. i am physically incapable. 😕😕😕

also, name change notification: from now on, ulhas shall be referred to as “MAHI VE” 🙃🙃🙃

maushi isn’t taking any of their shit. 😶😶😶

wait what, 20k rent for A KHOLI IN A CHAWL????? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? that better be like months and months worth of unpaid rent, and not a single month’s rent. 😯😯😯

for those who aren’t familiar with what a chawl is: it’s a line of single rooms (each called a “kholi”) in an apartment block kinda thing. think something like a school, but with miniscule rooms, about 200 - 300 sq feet or so. the rooms serve as all purpose; fulfilling the need of kitchen/living room/bedroom. the bathrooms are shared public bathrooms outside the kholi. entire families (mostly lower working class) live in that one single room. 

oufffffffff oh aiiiwaiiii ki chillam chillli. could you women stop yelling so much? 😣😣😣

dang maushi got enforcer goons and shiz. 😟😟😟

waise, how to get into this line of work? 🤔🤔🤔 being a badass lady who commands gunde to do her bidding? just... asking for a friend. 😌😌😌

all of us @ random neighbour asshole who has a lot to say, though this has 0.0% to do with him: 

“mooh bandh kar, warna kaan ke neeche aise chitkaaunga na, tere bachche bhi behre paida honge.” 

lmaooooooooo, best. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

what a shitty neighbourhood. aur irony toh dekho, it’s named GOOD LUCK chawl. 😒😒😒

waaah, random fuckers in chawls also have khoon and khaandaan tadi. 😑😑😑

why are desis soooooo fucking annoying? like.... uske jaayaz ya najaayaz hone se tera kya jaata hai? tu apna dekh na, chutiye. 😒😒😒

mahi ve’s about to open up a can of whooopassssssssss. 🙃🙃🙃

and rightly so. saala bohut bolta raha tha. 😒😒😒

THAT’S THE WAAAAAAAAAY, MAHI VE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  👋🏽👋🏽👊🏽👊🏽���💥

please to note that mahi ve’s a much stronger fighter than shivaay, who always needs his brothers to come help after a certain point. 😋😋😋 

okaaaay, he does seem to have the same degree of anger issues as shivaay though. he’s this close to murder. 😐😐😐

oh no. mummaaay ka chaanta. bhari public mein. shit. 😬😬😬

mahi ve why u be hating on pinks moms so much, when your own mummaayyy is THE FUCKING WORSTTTT? 😫😫😫

if i was him, i’d “take care” of real!shivaay and just move into oberoi mansion and just be happy being loved by everyone for the rest of my life. 😓😓😓

LMAO THE OVERLY SENTI SONG. COME ON. SO UNNECESSARY. 😂😂😂

haaaye. bechaara mahi ve. *hugs him* 😭😭😭

anika’s still freaking the fuck out. and instantly my anxiety is up. girl please just take a xanax or something, before you kill both me and yourself with all this stress! 😩😩😩

pfffft, not even real!shivaay goes to office, and you expect me to believe mahi ve as shivaay does???? by god, 250 episodes ho gaye, aaj tak we’ve never seen this mystical “office” of shivaay’s. 🙄🙄🙄

mahi ve decides drown his sorrows in good ol’ bollywood fashion: DANCE BREAK!!!!! 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

good idea, because:

.... ok? the chawl ppl seemed to hate him though? now they’re happy to be dancing with him???? 🤔🤔🤔

... even the random dancing girls at the chawl have better outfits than anika. 😐😐😐

okaaaaaay, camera just did a kinda weird lingering shot at nakuul’s crotch. come on, i like him, but not THAT MUCH. 😬😬😬

anika’s being like donkey from shrek, annoying the driver with “are we there yet??? are we there yet????” 😂😂😂

did she see???? DID SHE SEE MAHI VE GETTING DOWN AND JIGGY LIKE SHIVAAY CAN NEVER (unless given copious amounts of Rudra’s “Special Punch”) 😧😧😧

if there’s a star parivaar award for ‘best pelvic thrusting 2017′, nakuul mehta definitely has it in the bag. A+, 10/10, god!level (and by “god”, i obviously mean govinda) pelvic thrusting. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

“cheapda kahinka!” 

lol girl you just jelly that shivaay never stuck his sunglasses in your choli all sexy like that. all he does is blow on your face. 🙄🙄🙄 mahi ve’s clearly the better seducer of the two. 😏😏😏

WHERE THE FFFFFFF DID HE COME FROMMMMMM?!?!? 😧😧😧

DID MAHI VE SEE THEM??????? 😱😱😱

also... bechaari khushi kumari gupta ko na jaane kya kya papad belne pade the, to find her kidnapped husband. these two have it sooooo damn easy! he just managed to wander out of wherever he was being held and find her standing riggggght there. 🙃🙃🙃

now that’s what you call serendipity, my friends! 😌😌😌

LMAOOOOOOOO SHIVAAY’S FACE WHEN HE TURNS TO LOOK AT MAHI VE, WHO BY THE WAY, IS STILL PELVIC THRUSTING AWAY TO GOD’S GLORY. 😂😂😂😂😂

*softly whispers to self* “... what the everloving fuck?????????”

shivaay like “shushhhhh, no, i don’t care about this fly dancing motherfucker right now; i’ve been to hell and back, give me a damn hug, wife!!!!” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

how is mahi not noticing these two???? THEY’RE STANDING WITHIN SPITTING DISTANCE OF HIM. like... come on bruh. 😐😐😐

... pft. kameeni aur kameeni ka kameenaaaa bhaanja. to hell with both of them. bechaara mahi ve, stuck in this family of yucky ppl. 😒😒😒

petition to have mahi ve officially adopted by the oberois as the 4th oBro. 💗💗💗

ouff kameeni, you’re the worstttt. 😤😤😤

ok, kinda feeling the brotherly bonding between these two. what’s their (br)otp name? 🤔🤔🤔

i think i’ll call them “the kameena bros” 🙃🙃🙃

whooooo boy. and we thought only the oberois had such drama. 😕😕😕

like... why does she keep cursing HIM for being naajayaz?? he didn’t choose to be??? you’re the one who got knocked up out of wedlock. 🙄🙄🙄

is he shakti’s???? 😟😟😟

if yes, is he shivaay’s TWIN? or is he his older brother who has the exaaaact same face? (damn, dem some dominant genes, shakti!) 🤔🤔🤔

also, just wondering: does birth control just plain not exist in the ishqbaaz universe? 😐😐😐

heyyyy, his aaankhein are sorta kinda kanji again? 😯😯😯

time for tragic backstory. 😶😶😶

ugh these chawl ppl are truly the worst. fuck them all sideways with a cactus. 😡😡😡

ok, that’s the least convincing harmonica playing i have ever seen in my whole damn life. nakuul like... watch a youtube tutorial or something, my man. 😕😕😕

pffffffffttttt they’re 100% talking about holi celebrations. aiiiwaiiiii ka red herring nonsense. 🙄🙄🙄

... what about mahi ve then? where is he? did he just not come back home as shivaay that night???? or did he, and did real!shivaay stick HIM in the oberoi dungeon freezer to use for youth rejuvenating facial purposes, like svetlana is doing? 😱😱😱

[orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries]

Blabber, blabber. Happy anniversary to me 💁🍻 and Happy Mother’s Day! 😘

Well, since I said I was gonna do a post about my shows, lemme get started on celebrating some renewals! 

Okay actually I think these two and DWTS are the only ones that I haven’t updated. Arrow, The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow and Supergirl are all renewed, PLL is ending in a couple eps, and I still haven’t finished Grimm though I posted the cast’s farewell over a month ago. OH, found out Designated Survivor is renewed (any fans?), and Riverdale too (though sad that Reggie will be recasted). HTGAWM renewed, DUH, and Superstore too, so yay! Oh, and Blindspot too, wasn’t really expecting that tbh. BUT JUST SUPER GLAD THAT B99 IS BACK OMG. And OUAT too but wonder what it’s gonna be like now that many of the cast are leaving. 

But also found out a few of my shows were cancelled, some I’m upset about, some was kinda predicted. Kinda upset that Frequency and Timeless were cancelled, both time travel shows, but completely different vibe. No Tomorrow was also cancelled. Not exactly my fave show, but it taught me a bit (though it kinda reminded me of people I didn’t want to be reminded of at the time too). Notorious and Conviction was kinda expected.. Secrets and Lies too. So now I know the fate of every show (well except those that just started a couple weeks back) except for Scream Queens, though I doubt I’d continue if it goes on. OH, okay maybe a few more like Quantico. 

But hey, maybe now I can get started on that long list of shows I wanna watch. I have about 10 shows on my list, some are already cancelled, but, sometimes it seems nicer to watch cancelled shows cos there isn’t the stress of time. Well, imo at least.  

Okay, this isn’t the best update, but sorry I only had like barely 3 hours of sleep. Gah, I was supposed to be doing work today but ended up only studying like 2 pages OR LESS. 

Update (14 May): Just found out that Baby Daddy fucking got cancelled, WTF FREEFORM?!!?! IS THIS A BLOODY JOKE?! Ugh this was one of the BEST sitcoms ever. Gonna miss Ben and Danny and Bonnie and Emma and Tucker and Riley SO MUCH. 

Update (17 May): Found out that The Originals is renewed tho! YASSSSSSS. Also found out that Quantico is renewed but Scream Queens got cancelled (lowkey happy SQ is cancelled cos I kinda hated it after s1. sorry to any fans tho.) 

Update (17 June): Have been wanting to edit this but didn’t get to.. TIMELESS IS UNCANCELED YEAHHHHHH~~~~ And just started watching New Girl too. SUPER. GOOD.  

BUT HEY, I realized, today is also the day of my.. i don’t know what I should call it, but some kind of anniversary maybe? One year ago today, I kinda threw myself a funeral like it was done back in TVD Season 4. It feels really good now cos last year I was just trying to push myself and tell myself that I will be better, and doing that would be the best thing of letting the old me go. And now, I feel like it’s done, maybe not really completely, but I do feel different now, better, especially these couple days. It’s really odd because I tend to feel more upset during pms, but this month, I don’t feel as upset as I would be before. 

Oh, and I also realized that my identity was kinda meant to be mysterious and stuff here (cos I didn’t want anyone who knew me irl to figure out this was mine), but I realize it’s not really that much of a secret. Not really sure if it matters actually, and honestly, who anyone even bother or care? Okay, nope, not meant to be thinking this way. 

And in total unrelated news, finally transferred all my pics and vids and I’m so happy! And finally made some changed to my Twitter after who knows how long, and I’m glad to have made the change. Kinda thinking about changing my @ too but we’ll see.. 

Okay, enough blaberring. I really need to crash. Have a lovely week ahead and it’s Mother’s Day (well, still kinda early)! 

Happy Mother’s Day to all moms everywhere, and especially to my mom. LOVE YOU (even though its hard to say it aloud, I hope you know it too. Even though we fight and argue, in spite of everything, I wouldn’t be here without you, so thank you for everything. You’re amazing, and please know I do appreciate everything though I don’t show it well) 💗

Oh and, any one who even comes across this idk how and if you even bother to read, hey if you’re a fan of any show I mentioned above 👆 (or wanna recommend shows too, I’m in, I think I can be quite easily swayed. Maybe.) HIT ME UP. Always looking for new friends to talk about shows to cos my friends aren’t the best bingewatchers. Like though I managed to convince many to watch many shows, but they always give up after like 1 or 2 seasons, otherwise they are lazy to continue and are waiting for new eps before bingewatching or something. SO HIT ME UP YO.

Xx

[babesboatsandbivalves]

Boat Life Lessons: Vol 1

First of all, I need to disclaim this entire blog as anything remotely close to a source of expert advice or opinion. It is not. For those of you with any experience with boats/sailing, please humor my ineptitude and laugh with me as I learn by doing. Writing things down helps me to remember, and my goal is to share with you in a way that's not technical, mostly topical, and at best, might make you smile the next time you find yourself in similar straits.

So now, I trust I will make at least one person #facepalm reading this list of 5 Things I've Learned Since Moving onto a Sea Cadillac with a Stranger Last Saturday (11/11).

Please let me know if you're that person.

5 Things I've Learned Since Moving into a Sea Cadillac with a Stranger Last Saturday

Said stranger seems to be (so far) a laid-back, kind, experienced captain... thank you universe

The day you think you'll leave port is not going to be the day you actually leave port

The importance (and volatility) of wind maps

The Boatyard has better oysters than McGarvey's

Do not flush tampons down the boat toilet

1.  Said stranger seems to be (so far) a laid-back, kind, experienced captain... thank you universe

There are a hundred really good reasons not to fly across the country to meet a complete stranger you found on a Crew Finder forum on Facebook, or to move onto a sailboat with that stranger after a handful of phone calls to sail said boat across the Atlantic... especially when your sailing experience is 100% limited to Lake Travis in landlocked Austin, Texas. 

So arguably the most important thing I learned this week is that Ben-- Captain Ben, formally-- is a kind, rad person; someone I already call friend.

Over beers and oysters and milling around in a boat together for a week in Annapolis, here’s what I can surmise so far (Ben, thank you for humoring me):

Ben grew up on a surfboard in Cape Town. He got started sailing ~12 years ago delivering boats around the South African horn, and has since racked up 160,000+ nautical miles at sea delivering, chartering, and racing boats around the Atlantic and Indian oceans. No big deal.

Through his job-- delivering boats around the Caribbean and beyond-- he's no stranger to skippering with novice crew. Even more, his crowd-sourced crew come from various walks of life: 52-year old ladies seeking adventure; 19-year-old boys seeking the same; military retirees, vagabonding couples, soul-searching singles... a revolving door of characters with whom he’s had to share limited space. So it's no small wonder that a marina regular described him to me as “a cross between Jesus and Captain Ron, yannoe?“.

Ben has dreams of buying his own boat, and making his way through Panama to the Pacific in the foreseeable future. His favorite show is Food, Booze and Tattoos on Netflix, because it reminds him of home. He spends about 1/4 of any sentence speaking in onomatopoeias ("we were trying to get there quick, right? Like tchk-tchk-tchk")... which he attributes in part to growing up near cultures where whistles and clicks are the language itself.

Other confidence-boosting details, Mom:

His first priority is safety. "We're not going out into fuck-all weather just to make dates work."

His #1 Rule: Don't fall off the boat.

We've had candid conversations about hard things: respect, trust, setting expectations, how we communicate/take feedback, personal space. Critical when your home is sub-300 sq ft.

This gig includes a lot of alone time at sea as we swap between watches. So it's been cool to be able to get to know each other before taking to the water... but for Ben, planning for a few days to acclimate/evaluate each other is just best practice; an MO that's helped him avoid some otherwise sketchy crew.

So, so far so good. Taking everything a day at a time. Especially because:

2. The day you think you'll leave port is not going to be the day you actually leave port.

It's only the second time this has happened to me personally, but the pattern seems apt (the first was when an imminent squall postponed our boat voyage from Whittier, AK to the oyster farm by a week). Now on this exceptionally gusty Sunday in Annapolis, we should have left 4 days ago.

But the more reliant you are on a boat, the more bound to favorable conditions your plans must become. Favorable conditions that must come into magical alignment include:

Legal conditions: For us, this means the owner of the boat closes on the boat, finalizes paperwork, makes sure that all the toys, bells and whistles are aboard

Mechanical/electrical conditions: We're prepping a brand new boat for it's maiden voyage. So making sure before we're out there in the middle of endless blue for the first time that the boat itself works and functions as it's been sold to.

Wind/weather conditions: Perhaps the most obvious, but also the most important. Favorable in our case means the wind itself is not going to be gusting at 40+ knots (like it is today), completely against you, or at least "off the beam", meaning the wind is at least coming at an angle that isn't diametrically opposite your heading (stay tuned for edits/corrections).

Our situation has been such that the most favorable few days of wind (that would have sent us safely cruising south through the open Atlantic) occurred while awaiting the first two conditions to be met. So although I arrived a week ago, only two days ago did the legal stuff get sorted, and only yesterday did we realize the port thruster wasn't working... yay new boats!!!

Today, Sunday 11/19 it looks like we won't be setting off 'til tomorrow, the 20th, when weather finally looks agreeable enough to scoot down the Chesapeake, then hug the eastern seaboard to the Carolinas. We'll wait out some ugly bouts of low pressure, and then set off south toward Grenada.

But again. One day at a time.

Looking at the weather charts, it looks like it's going to be a hell of a ride down... 

3.  Always do your research before you leave port... and do it often

On the boat, Ben checks the wind forecast every few hours on his iPad the same way that some people check Facebook. He's looking for critical changes in forecasts that dictate how and when we'll leave. But with everything being up in the air (lol)/anyone's guess, there are several apps in particular that he trolls regularly throughout:

Navionics - for plotting a course, navigating underwater channels and routes

PocketGRIB - for forecasting areas of Low and High pressure, wind, precipitation, etc.

WindFinder - another wind forecasting tool, different datasets

PredictWind Offshore - another wind forecasting tool, but my favorite... because color

I asked him to explain Sunday's PocketGRIB predictions along the route:

And another video of Ben purely to showcase him saying ‘Bahamamamas’:

4.  The Boatyard has better oysters than McGarvey's

In the 5 days of prep and idle time here in Annapolis, Ben and I may have eaten somewhere in the ballpark of 40-45 oysters between these two Happy Hour hideouts... for about $40-45.

McGarvey's (James River oysters, wild) - These wild harvested oysters are toothy to bite but almost bland, and definitely not briny (because a river, perhaps?)... their shallow, round shells don't retain their liquor well once opened, so eat hastily lest they get too dry as you admire them. Found a good few anemones still attached to the shells, a testament to their natural habitat of the shallow, brackish river estuary.  ​(That said, below is a picture of the... third... time we got oysters from McGarvey’s. This time, Ben ordered 2 doz to go, still in shells. And then magic

Boatyard (Chesapeake Bay oysters) - Also wild caught oysters, but the taste and presentation overall wins me over (I am a shucker, after all...) Clean cuts, light brine (further out into open salt water), and lots of liquor. These oysters tasted like kissing the Chesapeake itself. And the cucumber mignonette!!!!!

And last but not first:

5. Do not flush tampons down the boat toilet.

I repeat: do not flush tampons down the toilet. FYI, a boat toilet is called the 'head', so do not flush tampons down the head. So now you know. Just don't do it. Because then, you'd have to have that awkward conversation with the boat captain, whom you just met, at 9 in the morning over coffee, that not only are you on your period, but that your Shark Week weapon of choice is now jamming the brand new $800k cruising yacht's toilet macerator. And you've been here 1 day.

Luckily, this is not his (Ben, the captain's) first rodeo. On our way back to the boat, we pass a dock-neighbor who's getting rid of some coat hangers. Ben suggests using one to make a hook of sorts, and 5 minutes of fishing later, I triumphantly retrieve a *thankfully* white wad of cotton from the depths. At that moment I'm caught in a strange mix of feeling fucking awesome and fucking disgusting as I realize I now need to disinfect EVERYTHING around me in this tiny fiberglass bathroom.

And that's just Day 1.

Honestly, that should be the case for every toilet I KNOW. I KNOW. Never again.

Fuck tampons anyway (this girl gets it)