#playing bg3 again and I have a lot of thoughts about these two

[cybershock24601]

I ship Wyll and Gale for a lot of reasons, but the funniest one is imagining the post canon battle of the century between Ulder Ravengard vs Morena Dekarios (and Tara) on where their sons should settle down. Ulder is still working on repairing his relationship with Wyll and Wyll is his heir as Grand Duke so obviously Gale and Wyll should live in Baldur's Gate.

Meanwhile Morena is over here like, excuse me, my son has a well regarded academic career in Waterdeep and it would be unconscionable to make him give that all up just to move to Baldur's Gate. That woman is a force to be reckoned with and after Mystra played with her son's feelings she is more than happy to see Gale settle down with a nice, well mannered adventurer who treats him well and who Morena absolutely ends up mothering as well because that's her future son in law.

It turns into a huge back and forth between the two as they attempt to sway Wyll and Gale into staying in Baldur's Gate or Waterdeep because neither one of them is willing to give up easy access to the inevitable grandkids. Hells, I'm sure Ulder would even go so far as to sponsor a whole new magic school in Baldur's Gate to try to get Wyll to move back after Morena points out that there is no place in Baldur's Gate that offers the same prestige as Blackstaff Academy. It's a dirty underhanded affair as both parents do all they can to attempt to get their sons to live in their city. I can only imagine how much worse the eventual wedding planning will end up being.

[lunarharp]

er... extreme amount of dragon age: the veilguard scribbles to soothe my heart🐦‍⬛💀

[alpaca-clouds]

BG3 fans, we gotta talk CPTSD

Okay, I have spend about a week considering writing this blog, but I really gotta say, that it is something people really need to understand. See, I mostly see this issue with Astarion and his depiction in fandom. However, I would argue that it is a thing that affects literally all characters that play some sort of bigger in this entire game. Including many NPCs.

But let me start with Astarion. See, I wrote the blog two weeks ago about people being judgy on people, who do not want to have graveyard sex with him. Mostly people will argue how Astarion should be allowed to have his agency in that moment - while I argued that whoever the player is playing should have also agency in that scene. Including the agency to say "no" for whatever reason. I also included that my Tav absolutely denied Astarion, because he was not trusting that Astarion in the scene really was ready for it, for a variety of reasons. Which is very much a valid reason for someone not to want to sleep with someone else. (Literally every reason is a good reason for that, mind you.)

And obviously there came the comment, that went basically: "As someone who was raped I am very appalled by you saying that raped people cannot consent." Which is very much not what I said.

What I said was, that my Tav did not consent. Yes, he did not consent because he thought Astarion was not ready for it - but he is the one not consenting. It does not matter for this whether his assumption about Astarion is true or not. Tav does not feel comfortable in the scene, so Tav does not want sex right there.

However... If you consider the drow orgy scene, Tav is also very much right. If you do that scene after defeating Cazador, Astarion is enthusiastically consenting to that orgy, but he still ends up dissociating during the scene. (And in that scene, even if your character notices it, you cannot go "Stop!" Which I hate.)

Here is the thing. If you are in the BDSM scene, you might actually have encountered a scenario in real life where someone was enthusiastically consenting to something - only to them realize, that they were not into it at all. And people can withdraw their consent IRL at this point. Only that in this game, obviously you can't. So within the game choices I will just start out with "no" for this character.

Still, that is actually not what I mainly wanted to talk about. No.

What I wanted to talk about is the other thing. I absolutely know that for a variety of reasons a lot of SA survivors do identify with Astarion, and I do not want to take that from anyone. I think it is amazing that we got a character with whom we see this issue portrayed seriously. And let's face it. Especially in tumblr fandom circles, we will have a lot of SA survivors, because the userbase of this website is majority afab, and many are queer. And we know from statistics that queer afab people are even more likely than non-queer afab people to experience SA at some point in there life. So, yes, Astarion is going to be embraced by this community makes sense - even without his dashing looks.

But here we get to the actual meat of the issue: Astarion was not just raped. Astarion was abused in a variety of ways - some of them sexual - over the course of 200 years. He went not through a single traumatic event, but an ongoing trauma that, again, lasted for 200 years.

Or to put different: Astarion does not have PTSD. He has C-PTSD. Complex trauma. The kind of trauma that develops when the trauma lasts over a long, long time, without the survivor getting a chance to ever really properly ever relax. Something that was very true for Astarion's time under Cazador. He was under constant threat of rape, torture, and other forms of violence.

While CPTSD is a form of PTSD, it has some differing symptoms - and additional symptoms from plain old PTSD.

I found this graphic on this blog here, and found it fairly good in the depictions. (If you google CPTSD you will find several graphics like this.) It shows very well the additional symptoms, compared to normal trauma.

Generally speaking, CPTSD brings a lot stronger issues with self-worth, interpersonal problems, and emotional regulation. CPTSD folks are often prone to emotional outbursts (this graphic names anger, but technically it can be all other kinds of emotional outbursts - which is why at times CPTSD gets confused with BPD).

And Astarion is written like this. He shows very much all the symptoms of CPTSD. And let's be honest: That is an issue he will have to deal with for a long, long while.

But... As I said, the same is actually true for pretty much all the characters.

If you look at the companions, it is obvious.

Gale spent at least a year in constant fear of blowing up. While Mystra's abusiveness towards him within the relationship prior the orb is more fanon than canon (though the relationship was defnitely not an easy one), the "one year in constant fear of death" is very likely going to instill some form of CPTSD in him.

Karlach was a slave for 10 years, forced to fight in the hells. While she will also probably suffer from certain forms of PTSD more common in soldiers. Additionally I would argue that she also has some CPTSD from tiefling-racism. While she does not bring it up often... She does seem to have a thing there.

With Wyll it is a bit more complicated. Yes, for him I would see the kind of CPTSD I have - parental abuse related. Ulder was not openly abusive, but neither was my mother, and guess what fucked me most up in my childhood, despite experiencing some really bad violence elsewhere.

Shadowheart was abused by Viconia and midwashed and tortured and was forced to kill her fucking pet mouse. Bonus points that a lot of it happened during her childhood. She very much is gonna suffer the consequences.

Lae'zel... Do I really need to say something about her upbringing among the Gith?

Then we have Halsin. We know fairly little about his background, given that he is very coy in talking about it. But his "three years as a drow slave" definitely make it likely that he has developed some form of CPTSD.

And then we have Jaheira and Minsc. For whom just the... Well, look folks, the adventuring lifestyle would logically also leave you with CPTSD of some sort.

Even if you play a Tav who entered the game after having a very untraumatic life... They will spent what has to be at least two months with a tadpole in their head threatening to kill them - while half of Baldur's Gate is trying to do the same. They'll have PTSD after this at the very least, if not CPTSD. (Even though, let's face it, chances are we all gave our Tavs more than enough background trauma to go along with it, right?)

And same goes for so many other characters. The tiefling refugees. Our main villains (especially Gortash and Orin). Cazador. The other vampire spawn (duh). The list goes on.

So, what am I trying to say here?

Well, for once I just want to make sure folks understand that CPTSD is a thing that exists and while being similar to normal PTSD differs in some points. Including the fact that people with CPTSD have a high likelihood to make very rash decisions driven by instable emotional states, that might be harmful to them on the long run.

And mind you. In real life most people with CPTSD have it because either they were bullied for a long time, or were in an abusive relationship of some sort. (Abusive parents, abusive partners, abusive friends/roommates.) But even in those heightened scenarios the game represents for the most part - the issues are gonna be still mainly the same.

[felixbobeelix]

In Defense of The Emperor (or, Ansur Is Not A Victim)

GIF credit: @mittthrawnuruodo

The Emperor is, in my opinion, one of the most underappreciated and misunderstood characters in Baldur's Gate 3, and I have spent a lot of time thinking about reasons why that may be. I honestly think it's tragic because The Emperor is such a compellingly-written character, and I think a lot of that gets lost under the landslide of abject hatred people feel for it.

I have a lot of thoughts about this, so buckle up buttercups! Lots (and lots, and LOTS) more under the cut!

I was playing BG3 again the other day, as one does, and was working my way through Emp's reveal, its initial withholding of the details about its escape and the nature of its relationship with Stelmane, and all the Ansur stuff, and I got fired up about this again. I don't think I'll ever stop getting fired up about The Emperor, to be honest pffffff.

There are a few really common reasons I see for why people hate The Emperor. One is its manipulative behavior, lies by omission, and the fact that if you pressure it enough, its attitude toward Tav will change. Another is the fact that if you choose to free Orpheus it will willingly return to the Netherbrain. Then there's its enthrallment of Stelmane and the implication that it led to her illness and death. And, of course, there's the idea that The Emperor betrayed its longtime friend and implied former lover, Ansur.

I also think there's a secret fifth option that maybe happens unconsciously. The vast majority of people spent a lot of time crafting their Dream Guardians into gorgeous feasts for the eyes, which is something the devs intentionally encouraged players to do. So when the game hit them with the twist and their beautiful Dream Guardian was replaced by an (ostensibly) unappealing Illithid, their sense of betrayal was amplified; they were predisposed to greater anger and hatred for The Emperor than they may have felt if it had retained the pleasant visage of their Dream Guardian.

Emp's Manipulation:

I find the argument about Emp's lying and manipulative behavior a little strange, when, for example, so many people are willing to overlook Astarion's abject manipulation of their Tavs. Personally, I think the reasons here are twofold. One, Astarion enjoys the privilege of being conventionally attractive and Emp does not, plain and simple. Two, sticking it out through Astarion's lying and manipulation will eventually lead to satisfying gain: an endgame relationship with him. There's no such satisfying outcome with Emp, so players are less inclined to put up with behaviors they endure for Astarion's sake. It's actually arguably easier to get Emp to admit to its manipulation of Tav than it is to get Astarion to do the same thing, and yet Astarion is more readily forgiven.

There may also be some degree of people being skeeved out by Emp's mind reading and its apparent ability to enthrall. But even this is a little odd, since Tav and their companions are all telepathically joined and that doesn't scare the player. The Emperor also never actually makes an attempt to enthrall Tav even when they're being combative and resistant. My only conclusion is that player distaste in this context is a product of the negative narratives about Illithids throughout the game. Which, for the record, are narratives I think we're meant to challenge as players.

(As an interesting side note, those narratives seem to be easily overriden when an Illithid is seen as helpful, as in the case of Omeluum. Despite clear evidence that it has not entirely denounced Illithid culture, and despite its membership in a morally questionable organization, players have a largely positive opinion of Omeluum simply because it tries to help them. They seem to forget that it was experimenting on Tav, and its miscalculation could have seriously compromised them.)

I think it's also worth pointing out that an Illthid in hiding is going to find particular challenge in simply surviving and remaining undetected, and even moreso in avoiding being attacked and killed, especially if it does not have the benefit of allies. Even Omeluum (who has the benefit of allies in the Society of Brilliance) has to disguise itself when it moves about the city. If you visit Omeluum and Blurg in Baldur's Gate you can listen in to their conversation, and Omeluum admits it sometimes takes the form of Blurg when it goes around.

I staunchly maintain, for one thing, that Emp is a true neutral character. It will resort to nearly any means necessary to assure its survival and freedom - though, again, it does stop short of robbing Tav of their autonomy, which I think is significant. And really, all things considered, Emp's methods are some of the least insidious when compared with the behaviors of other notable characters in the game. Even its insistence that Orpheus must be kept imprisoned is driven more by fear and a lack of real alternatives than any kind of malice. And alignments aside, when you consider the attitudes people have about Illithids, it's suddenly not surprising that Emp resorts to things like lying to protect itself and convince others to ally with it.

This concept was something I had to explore in depth when I worked with a DM friend who helped me construct a playable Illithid character, and I was challenged to run with a party of adventurers without them discovering my true race. It is NOT EASY. Almost immediately, despite my best intentions, I realized I would likely need to resort to some questionable methods to maintain my character's secrecy. The Emperor is the same. I'll touch on this more when I get into Emp's dynamic with Stelmane.

Player Influence:

Maybe the most frustrating observation I've made is that The Emperor is one of the only characters players will typecast based on the worst potential dialogue outcomes. Tav's relationship with pretty much all of the characters can be either improved or totally soured by the dialogue options they select. In most cases players are able to make the distinction that their choices are what influence the attitudes of the characters they're interacting with. But in the case of The Emperor, players will refuse to believe that any positive interactions with it are genuine because there are dialogue paths that lead to negative outcomes. I have to wonder why this standard does not apply to companion characters who break up with Tav, treat Tav questionably, or leave the party altogether when the player selects negative dialogue options.

Because of the potential for the Emperor's attitude to sour and for it to turn away from the player, it is written off as an entirely disingenuous character. However, Emp repeatedly demonstrates a capacity for veracity and emotionality, and I believe that when you foster a positive relationship with it the feelings it shares are genuine, just like with any other character. I'm guessing it doesn't help that Emp can be very matter-of-fact and pragmatic even during positive interactions, where the companion characters are often downright poetic in their regard for Tav and willing to make sacrifices for Tav when their approval is high.

I can see how this would give the sense that Emp's feelings are lesser, because it brackets those feelings with discussions about things like whether Tav is embracing tadpole abilities. But 1) Emp stands to lose its freedom again if the conflict with the Elder Brain goes awry and is, I think very understandably, preoccupied with what it believes are the necessary steps to ensure victory, and it seems anxious to affirm that Tav is as dedicated to the best outcome as it is. And 2) if this kind of pragmatism is the barometer by which people are measuring their trust of a character's feelings about them, I'm honestly a little afraid to know how they feel about their interactions with very pragmatic people IRL. 👀

Some people just are less prone to emotional expressiveness, or will ease their discomfort around emotional expression by diverting conversation to more practical matters. That doesn't mean the feelings they express are not genuine. We see over and over that Tav has a way of awakening strong, unexpected feelings in the people they meet throughout the course of the game. There's every possibility that this is what happens with Emp, and that it is taken aback by its feelings and is steering the conversation back to the matter of the conflict with the Brain as a way of avoiding being caught up and losing the plot.

I think that because the game does such a good job of playing up the idea that Illithids are soulless and inherently manipulative and evil, players are overly willing to accept it as fact. However, the game does also give us opportunities to question that narrative, and I think we'd do well to seize those opportunities. Even in raw DnD Illithid lore has shifted toward the idea that Illithids are more than the vicious monsters they started as. I think it's far more compelling and creative to consider that Emp is being genuine when you pursue positive interactions with it.

Relationship with Stelmane:

This begs the question, then, of whether the Emperor is truly upset about Stelmane's death. It certainly seems to be, but when you begin to suspect that it was enthralling her and forcing her to do its bidding you begin to doubt that it really cared about her.

Honestly? I'm not sure whether it did or not. Perhaps what it's truly upset about is the realization that it no longer has the option to return to its previous life as a major player in the Knights of the Shield. Maybe aside from the enthrallment, it actually did respect and even like Stelmane. Perhaps they had a rapport at some point prior to her enthrallment, and it is nostalgic about that. I think its feelings in that moment are real, it's simply unclear as to what those feelings are about.

In any case, I am openly and unabashedly here to disabuse anyone of the notion that Stelmane was a good person. A lot of what we hear about her we hear from Wyll, who (like pretty much every other character) is an unreliable narrator. The truth is unfortunately not as nice as Wyll would like to believe. With as little information about her as we have, this seems a bold claim for me to make, but I make it confidently, and here is why: her membership in the Knights of the Shield precludes her from being a good person.

The Knights of the Shield is an organization dealing in political manipulation, information brokering, and financial gain for its members. At the very least, Belynne Stelmane was concerned with underhanded political maneuvering and the accumulation of wealth, and at worst she was a willing servant of Gargauth, the god of betrayal and political corruption. It's unclear what level of seniority she held in the organization, though Emp's decision to have her as its avatar implies that she held significant influence. Either way, at no point was it possible for her to be involved with the Knights of the Shield and still be a good person.

And, yes, the same can be said of The Emperor. To be clear, I am not claiming that Emp is a "good" aligned character. However, its motivations are inherently different to Stelmane's and the other members of the Knights of the Shield. Rather than being strictly financially or politically motivated, Emp's involvement with the Knights was most likely born as much out of necessity as any desire for power. The Knights were a viable cover, a way for it to remain hidden and still secure a life of relative freedom for itself. To be sure, it could have attempted to ally itself with another organization, such as the Society of Brilliance. However, the Society is comparatively smaller, less powerful, and less profitable. Emp also does not appear to have any interest in the sorts of experimentation and data collection as members of the Society of Brilliance.

Based on Emp's characterization, it is not suited to a life of exploration and travel. It does not have the same innate arcane ability as Omeluum, who is able to exist and still maintain its autonomy in regions where the influence of an Elder Brain is relatively strong. It's more likely that The Emperor's ability to maintain its autonomy is linked to its proximity, or lack thereof, to an Elder Brain. Likely, it chose to secure a life for itself in a single location far enough away from the reach of an Elder Brain that it could escape enthrallment, and allied itself with the Knights of the Shield because they were the most proximally convenient and had the best capacity for security.

At any rate, I think it's entirely reasonable to assume that if Stelmane had not been enthralled, she would have ripped the rug out from under The Emperor the moment she stood to gain from doing so. Emp stood its best chance of success by enthralling her, and while that is certainly a morally questionable thing for it to do, be assured that it was not taking advantage of some wholesome paragon of goodness. Likely as not, if the roles had been reversed, Stelmane would have subjected Emp to a similarly morally questionable form of subjugation until the moment came for her to discard it entirely.

As an aside, the game works pretty hard to give the impression that Stelmane’s enthrallment led to her illness and eventual passing, but it's also entirely possible that she truly did simply have a stroke. Or, perhaps more compellingly, her condition had nothing at all to do with The Emperor and was potentially infernal in origin, given the way that she allegedly stared unwaveringly at Wyll the last time he saw her, which was shortly before he was targeted by Mizora. She was already well into her illness at that point, and didn't seem cognizant of anyone else at the time, but Wyll was of particular interest to her. Maybe it's nothing, or maybe the game intentionally misled players into believing The Emperor was responsible for Stelmane's decline, when it was never Emp's fault in the first place.

The Emperor's "Betrayal" of Ansur:

Here is where my opinion diverges most significantly from the opinions of other players. Put plainly, The Emperor did not betray Ansur. That is an idea that is given by Ansur, and by the following passage, which can be found during the challenges in the Wyrmway:

The note preceding the author's writing gives the distinct impression that the author is - yes - an unreliable narrator. They are not only giving a secondhand account of the events, but they are dramatizing that account.

Then, after defeating Ansur, the player finds the following letter on Ansur's body:

We also have additional story from The Emperor itself about the events that led to Ansur's death.

The reality is that Ansur, motivated by his love for Balduran, saved The Emperor from its enthrallment by the Elder Brain in the hopes of restoring the Balduran he knew and loved. Despite being asked over and over to stop, despite The Emperor's insistence that it was content with its new form, Ansur doggedly searched for a way to return The Emperor to its previous form as Balduran. Rather than accept that Balduran's new form was permanent, rather than accepting him as The Emperor, rather than being happy enough that his loved one was no longer a slave and that the memories of their time together were still intact, Ansur was not satisfied. He could not look past Emp's Illithidness, he could not let go of the narrative that Illithids are monsters. His refusal to adjust his paradigm, his unwillingness to accept The Emperor as a valid friend or ally or lover, was a failing on Ansur's part, and it was incredibly selfish.

Emp's letter to Ansur is incredibly heartfelt, and focuses entirely on Ansur and his happiness. Emp clearly still values Ansur and wants him to be contented. Even as Emp draws its boundaries, it keeps the focus on Ansur's well-being. It is a really good letter, and nothing about it implies that Emp held any ill will toward Ansur. It simply wanted Ansur to give up the pursuit of reclaiming Balduran as he was. But Ansur was unwilling to do that. So unwilling, in fact, that he felt it would be better to kill The Emperor rather than accept its new form.

Therein is the true betrayal: attempting to kill your friend while they're sleeping because you can't make them fit your ideal of them is, put simply, super fucked up.

The idea that it's a betrayal for The Emperor to have killed Ansur in self-defense, but Ansur attempting to murder Emp in its sleep is somehow not a monumental betrayal, is absolutely wild to me. Ansur was the one who betrayed The Emperor, and his rage is as misguided as the hate players have for Emp. I think players are blinded by the heroic narrative around Ansur, and the narrative that Illithids - and, by proxy, The Emperor - can't be trusted undermines the explanation that The Emperor gives. Players want to believe Ansur despite the evidence that his feelings of betrayal are unfounded, because they're naturally more inclined to trust a heroic figure than an Illithid. Again, I think this was a place in the game where players were challenged to question accepted narratives.

Of course, it's entirely possible that Ansur's attempt to kill The Emperor was driven by something entirely separate from the story we're offered in the game. Maybe Ansur took issue with The Emperor's movements with the Knights of the Shield; though that would beg the question of why he would be so determined to eliminate Emp and not any of the other members. Or, maybe Emp killed Ansur unprompted in a bout of pure Illithid malice, which would be a betrayal indeed - though that seems highly unlikely after reading its letter to Ansur. Ultimately, however, without any indication otherwise, we have to take the story we're given at face value. As far as we know, Ansur was motivated to kill The Emperor as part of his cognitive dissonance around its change from Balduran to The Emperor, and that selfish, misguided act constitutes a betrayal of Emp by Ansur, not the other way around.

The Emperor's Return to the Netherbrain:

I saved this for last, because it's actually very simple. When you choose to free Orpheus, The Emperor declares its intention to return to the Brain, and true to its word it does exactly that, and fights against you during the final battle. Why, after fighting so hard to avoid the Brain, would Emp so willingly return to it?

Put simply, because it has no choice. Or, it has no choice in the context of the game as-is. What reason does Emp have to believe that Orpheus, an avid enemy of Illithids, having been subjugated by this Illithid, would be willing to extend his protection to it?

Emp knows that the moment Orpheus is free to give or take his psionic protection, he will refuse to protect it. The jig is up. The game is over. In its pragmatic way, The Emperor concedes defeat. Its anger is palpable, you have forfeit its hard-won freedom. But the cards are on the table, and it knows that without Orpheus' protection it is going to be enthralled whether it wants to be or not. So it goes willingly. At least it can make one more choice before it loses its autonomy.

Final Thoughts:

There is so much more to say about The Emperor and its feelings and motivations. Again, in no way is it a good-aligned character, and even with the best outcomes it's still clear that Emp is at least somewhat driven by a desire for greatness, whatever form that greatness takes. That was true even when it was Balduran. But I do think it's worth remembering that when you foster a positive connection with it and side with it for the endgame, it regards your parting with some sentimentality, and then just...leaves. It's all fairly benign. The player's choices go a long way in influencing how malicious The Emperor is, and I think that's important to remember.

I could go on for hours about this, it is absolutely one of my hills to die on, but I think this is enough for now lol. I just wish The Emperor were respected more as a complex, compelling character. I wish it were at least afforded the same defiant love some of the villains are given. I genuinely hate to see Emp flattened and written off when it's such an amazing character!

[utilitycaster]

anyway this is obviously a wild shift in the topic of conversation, but I was talking about it in the group chat last night as a distraction and would like to continue the distraction if I am being honest, so, with the caveat that this is based off of Fandom Osmosis Observations and a few reads of reviews and I have at this time played neither of these games, some thoughts about BG3 vs. Veilguard and what I've seen. many thanks to @captainofthetidesbreath for actually knowing things about video games and answering my many questions.

also just putting this up front with all said caveats: if you disagree that is great, I am very open that this is an outside observation and I could be very wrong but I am going to block people who get hostile without warning, and make this nonrebloggable if too many people get hostile. You are always permitted to disagree but like, I don't really care about your opinion if you're not someone with whom I have a pre-existing rapport unless idk you're like, actually a BG3 or Veilguard official story writer who happens to be on Tumblr. If you're a player? You have all of your own biases and they are not mine. Save it for someone who wants to get in a fight about this; I am not that person.

Essentially, what I've seen in terms of criticism from Veilguard that isn't just rampant transphobia comes down to the following:

why am I not playing my previous character from Inquisition again

why am I limited to a fairly consistent through line for the story

But first, I'm going to talk about BG3. What's funny is I seem like a much more obvious candidate for playing BG3, as a longtime D&D player who has come around on Forgotten Realms as a setting. However, while I looked at it for a while, I eventually lost interest for a couple of reasons. One is that apparently all the characters are WAY too eager to romance you which is like, a fun fantasy for 10 minutes but would probably annoy me in the long run. Another is that everyone who watched early reviews and kept abreast with the game told me that there was a clear favorite companion (Astarion) and that many of the characters had most of their interesting flaws sanded down (eg: Wyll was apparently much cockier originally; Shadowheart even more petulant; and as these are perhaps the two characters I was most intrigued by, reducing them to something blander destroyed much of the appeal). But perhaps the most interesting one is that as a boring goodie two shoes sort of person, my thought back when I was like "yeah, perhaps I will play this" was "oh, I do not want to have a murderous urge within me."

It became very apparent, through watching people play through and post on my dash, that if you didn't specifically play as the Dark Urge, and didn't specifically resist that urge, the story didn't really cohere. I have to admit, I know the premise of BG3 very well (tadpoles), and I know a lot of shipping trends (put a pin in that), and I know some of the more obvious points within it (Astarion is a vampire, Gale and Karlach both have bombs in their chests somehow, Shadowheart bleaches her hair) but I don't really have a great sense of the ending, and I did not avoid spoilers.

It feels like BG3 is designed for people who have one of those massive spreadsheets of D&D characters they haven't had a chance to play that are meticulously kept and thoroughly realized...and don't really leave room for modifying to fit the campaign you will actually be playing in. It feels like an OC sandbox simulator unless you do actually pick the choice the writers actually wrote for (Durge), and while it's not technically playersexual...it kinda is. I mean, I am a big fan of the trend in video games towards making it possible to romance anyone because it conjures up the idea of a world of high-powered bisexuals running around, which is very enjoyable for me, but the criticism of the Mary Sue archetype originally was never "how dare you fantasize about being cool." It was "wow, the characterizations are all warped beyond recognition solely so that everyone is in love with this character, and that makes for a dull and unsatisfying story." If you're everyone's type, and it's for romance and not just sheer lust, then either everyone around you is boring and wants the same thing, or you are sort of bland and inoffensive, or else the story is bashing characters together without a good basis for a compelling romance. This is also compounded by the fact that the companions can't get together with each other if you're playing your own character and not an Origins character.

None of this is to say it's bad to like BG3 and again, I didn't play it; but it is why I ultimately said "you know, given the effort involved to play it for me, a person without a gaming system, it's not worth it."

Veilguard has specifically intrigued me for going against a lot of this. You have a lot of choices in your character build, but they're all fairly thematically consistent: you did something within your faction that was well-intentioned but upset higher-ups and so you need to step away for a while. This establishes a personality for you! We know why you're part of a faction but also something of a free agent at the moment. We know why you're here and why you might be a good candidate for the current mission.

I'm not going to go into detail for the choices because while I'm not avoiding spoilers I don't want to spoil a relatively new game for others, but a lot of choices are fairly parallel, not in an "illusion of choice" way - they have consequences - but in terms of hitting similar themes. You can only save one city and both are places you have seen and places your companions have connections to; while the exact details may differ you are telling a consistent story.

I also think the fact that the companions can romance each other in your absence is important too! They exist even when you're not there. They are not just here to woo you, and indeed, they might be a better match for each other. I've been informed this is true in Inquisition as well, and I think it's a much more rich world if you, as the player, as the person who can ultimately decide the fates of your companions, aren't the center of their personal life. I also think it prevents the ability to sand down companions to be more agreeable to you as a player if you have to make an NPC/NPC romance compelling (and I will freely admit that, in a move that is not at all like me, I was pretty well sold by a potential in-game NPC/NPC romance, which is usually not the thing that gets me into works of fiction).

I'm not the right person to speak to the Inquisitor not being a significant character because I did not play DA:I, and I get that 'well, this is a new game with a new protagonist, as there has been for every Dragon Age game' is still not necessarily an adequate explanation. Nor is "hey, maybe it's good to attract new players" even though as someone who is highly attracted as a new player that is my opinion. However, I want to go back to the point about Resist Durge being the strongest option in BG3 in terms of story by a long shot. When I was trying to learn more, I said "ok, so just like how you're Tav in BG3 and Rook in Veilguard, you're Lavellan in Inquisition, right?" and was told that you are not - that's just the elvish Inquisitor option. Obviously this is anecdotal, but the fact that one option was far and away the most popular and thematically resonant is an indication that perhaps bringing forth the Inquisitor is carrying over some of the limitations of that game, whatever they may be. The true argument is "they are trying to tell a specific story here, and it is about a different POV than the one you previously had."

And that's really my point. I know I'm not an expert here - in fact I'm usually quite hesitant to write meta about things in which I'm not highly steeped, and very critical of those people who do - but I think an outsider perspective is useful here. The thing that is drawing me to video games is a new way to experience a fictional narrative (the other game I have been meaning to play - and even own on Steam- is Disco Elysium). That's not what everyone wants! But it is what I want. And so I want to be put into a developed, thoughtful narrative, and I don't mind if my choices are restricted in order to support it, and if I am playing a person I did not entirely choose. In tech, there is a saying of "make it easy to make the right choice (and hard to make the wrong one)" and so if you need your protagonist to hit certain beats, you should make that the required protagonist.

I think a story is stronger if your choices matter but if there is something of a foregone conclusion because it gives the writers thematic throughlines. This might sound a little silly given that this blog is largely dedicated to Actual Play but the thing is, most actual play does have, if not a foregone conclusion, at least a strongly intended conclusion of "work towards uncovering this mystery and achieving this goal", though the success of said goal is not guaranteed. I would argue that when a campaign lacks that, it tends to suffer in all aspects. RPG video games almost always have a foregone conclusion, but that's its own liability. In actual play, lacking a forgone conclusion means you spin off in any direction and it's anyone's guess if it's coherent. In an RPG, having this conclusion but not supporting it through the rest of the game will make it feel contrived. I feel a lot of Veilguard criticism is focusing on small contrivances early on that really mostly matter to a highly specific subset of potential players that prevent much larger and less forgiveable contrivances later on.

Anyway. Again, I am an outsider here, and I'm not here to say that it's bad to have a more open-world, sandboxy game with a self-insert-y OC type; but I have to be honest, I'd rather explore that in a true sandbox of fanfiction or original fiction, which is significantly cheaper and in which I can actually tell the entire story I want to tell. I don't want to be given more choices if a lot of them will be profoundly unsatisfying as a narrative. I don't want to cut through the world like a hot knife through butter. I want to be affected by it, and that's very hard to do with a character whose only trait is "self-insert whom everyone wants to fuck" or "guy that already carries the baggage of years of personal headcanons and highly variable choices that are hard to account for for every single person who ever played the previous game."

[divorcedwife]

What rpgs have u liked/played and how did u like them? :) i saw that your fave is pillars 1 and i love the setting n story so much (i just loooooathe real time with pause combat unfortunately. This also has soured da origins to me a lot. Do action pls or even better turn based but not that) also u have a lot of amazing anders art <3

pillars 1 my beloved!! maybe you already know but i must mention it just in case - did you see that pillars 2 deadfire has turn by turn combat? i don't think it's as good as the first in terms of writing, but when they introduced turn by turn, it became one of my favorites just for that. it made me so violent because combat went from a necessary evil to my favorite part of the game, so i was just going around the world looking for people to fight. and it really has its moments, i loved serafen and the first quest with the pirates, and it is a game where you can actually roleplay and cause real harm without intending to if you just listen to your companions all the time. they're not all good people.......

and bg3 also has combat that i really loved :-) i played it as a bard and as a rogue and i really loved both. i loved playing a support character and not feeling like the main character so much, and as dark urge, i thought rogue combat played with the idea of the urge very beautifully because i was so good at killing that i tended to skip dialogues and just kill.... i just wish i could reverse the clock and talk the devs out of constantly rewriting it ship of theseus style. the companions to me already had an issue of being too friendly and too innocent in their sufferings in a way i didn't find compelling, so making them even more into fandom versions of themselves is just evil

but i think that's all for RPGs where i really like the combat, all my other favorite games have real-time strategy and i just do my best. kotor 1 & 2 have it, although i enjoy it more when i unlock fucked up evil force powers. i still do love dragon age origins & 2, and have some fondness for dai because i really like the characters. and dao was largely improved for me by playing a mage instead of an archer ; if i can say anything nice about datv, it's that they've made archery good for the first time ever in dragon age. being an archer in dai is especially sad, you have a range of like two meters

i also tried the first baldur's gate game but i got too scared and confused with the companions management and the way the story progresses - like i strayed from the main quest and that locked me out of meeting jaheira, so i had to restart and redo all of that and it was painful. i think i could play it if i had some guide to follow or something, i just don't have the 1990s gamer disposition. but i really liked xan, i made him leader of the party so i could hear him complain all the time

& i think that's kind of it...! im not a huge gamer in that i don't try tons of different games, i just mostly obsess and replay the same ones over and over again. there's some others i could mention - like i played outer worlds and i liked it ok, i played fallout new vegas but it wasn't really my style and i didn't finish, and oh wait i just remembered i played all three mass effect games! well, i liked the first game and hated 2 and 3, which may be my most controversial hill to die on but i must be true

[powdermelonkeg]

Alright so ive been thinking about it (probably far too much) and want a second opinion.

Tears of the Kingdom and Baldurs Gate 3 were the same price.

TotK gave me a total of like. I think it was 160 hours to 100% completion (koroks ignored) in my case. And then i set it down and have had no urge to touch it again.

I'm about 120 hours into BG3 now. I have not completed my first playthrough, and I expect Ive still got some 30 hours left of it. I DO intend to play through it again, and I know that there are countless things left for me to do in it still.

And like. I ENJOYED TotK. It was a blast. But looking at BG3 now, complete with its 3 stage city map, like five other maps too, full voice acting, complex storyline, multiple endings, replayability, etc.

It has me realizing that TotK reused its old map. The only major addition was a procedurally generated single-biome underworld and a couple of floating islands (several of which were copy pasted around the map). Most of its gameplay was already built on the previous game.

So the thought I keep coming back to then is that TotK was fine. It was fun. But if BG3 is a 70 dollar game, then TotK has no good reason to be any more than $40.

But I think youre more into both games than I have been, so I wanna know your thoughts.

Sat on this for a little bit and...yeah. $40 is a good price for it.

Like, I'm not too mad about the map thing. BG3 was in production since BotW came out, while TotK started in 2019 and has to deal with a physics environment. I know what I'm getting into with a Nintendo game when I buy one, I know the level of writing and effort (and railroading) to expect. But the price thing has been a thorn in my side that I've ignored for...awhile.

I do think BG3 deserved another year to cook. Maybe two. I'm extremely GLAD it came out when it did, because I found it when I did, but the third act, for all its complexity, has a lot of loose ends that need tying together. Which, I also am not mad about. When you've had Pokemon-level writing for most of your life, and you connect dots in Zelda, literally any snippet of BG3 writing feels incredible. Even the worst bits of Baldur's Gate are so rich in comparison to the Nintendo games I play. But I DO think that they rushed themselves, and they definitely did it so as to not compete with Starfield.

Which is like...I've spent a decade evaluating whole wheat bread, and you've put a massive chocolate cake in front of me. I'm not going to care that the icing on the third tier isn't as fancy as the first two. I am kind of going to lament that the baker had to rush it out the door, though.

Also BG3 replayability >>>>>>>>> TotK replayability. Like, it's past Skyrim levels. I love games where my choices matter and aren't retconned.

[kemendin]

Epilogue

Or, I finished my first playthrough of BG3 and had many emotions (still processing) and many thoughts (also still processing), so here are some Kem ramblings on chosen endings and what happens post-game in Dhamari canon. Under cut because major spoilers of course!

So, for anyone curious, here's how things turned out, and these are fairly unsurprising I'd imagine:

Astarion did not ascend. I tried it for kicks, and I hated his ascended self lol. And Dhamari wouldn't have gone for the 'replace one tyrant with another' idea.

Gale did not claim godhood, BUT nor did he actually give the crown to Mystra - it was left in the sea. As Dhamari said, "If Mystra wants it, she can damn well fish it out herself."

Wyll became the Blade of Avernus, and went romping back to the Hells with Karlach. Go be badasses, guys!!

Lae'zel became the new Comet, and went sailing off to be the saviour of her people.

Shadowheart turned her back on Shar and went off to explore Faerûn and her new faith in Selûne (and got custody of the owlbear).

As for Dhamari and Gale... I had to do a lot of pondering on their ending, both in terms of in-game choices and how things ACTUALLY play out in my brain. While I’m very entertained by the idea of ‘Professor Dekarios’ I don’t think Dhamari is cut out for city life. So the short answer is, I went with the ‘I’ll marry you but I won’t live in Waterdeep’ option and they go off adventuring again instead.

The long version is, of course, more complicated:

Initially Dhamari is all 'yes of course I'll marry you and go back to Waterdeep with you' because frankly he's got no idea what to do with himself post-Netherbrain destruction. But that goes kinda not too well overall, for several reasons:

a) He really has no idea what he's getting into with the whole wedding business, because drow don't DO that. So while Gale's making all these plans and sending out multitudes of invitations, Dhamari's list consists of Wyll, who can't come, and Jaheira, who probably could, and he's just very overwhelmed by all the grand ceremony notions.

b) He's jealous of now having to share Gale with Tara and Mrs Dekarios and probably half of Waterdeep, because Gale's of course rather well known, and even more so after saving Baldur's Gate. Gale knows everyone and Dhamari knows no one, and he feels like he's being perceived as this odd little drow blemish on the local wizard celebrity (whether or not this is actually true is up for debate).

c) After the relief of no longer having a brain death sentence and the pressure of saving the world wears off, and he's had a little chill time, he starts feeling incredibly restless again. He's never had a point in his life till now where he wasn't scared or in danger or both - he has no idea how to live a life that doesn't involve fighting to survive. Unfortunately, in absence of obvious threats, he ends up on some mental level fighting Gale instead - lashing out with confusions and uncertainties he doesn't know how to cope with.

So within a month or so things get very tense between them, because Dhamari is rather terrible at communicating his problems to other people, but eventually they're forced to hash all this out. The end results are: a much smaller wedding than originally planned, Gale declining the offer to take a teaching post at Blackstaff Academy, and soon after the wedding they pack up and go adventuring again for a while so they can spend some time together that's ACTUALLY just the two of them.

At some point - dunno yet if it's pre- or post-epilogue reunion get-together - Dhamari visits with Jaheira, and she invites him to join the Harpers. Dhamari's felt a sort of half-conscious connection with the Harpers for a WHILE now, since finding the executed patrol of them in Grymforge (that's a whole other ramble/fic in process lol) and so when Jaheira makes this offer he's like '...huh yeah I could do that'. It gives him a much needed sense of purpose in life, gets him out and about and not quite so latched onto Gale every hour of the day. So when he and Gale take breaks from adventures and chill in Waterdeep for a bit, Gale can be doing his wizardy stuff with his wizardy friends, and Dhamari does whatever Harper business needs doing around the city.

So things aren't always perfect between them, and frankly these two will always find something to argue about because they ARE such different people. But they love each other, and they learn from each other, and as far as they're concerned - it's a happy ending.

Random tidbit - I really like that in the route I chose, Gale retains the mark of the orb. I think that despite what it was - a death sentence - Dhamari's actually rather fond of it aesthetically, and even sees it as a reminder - to both of them - that Gale survived. That Gale chose Dhamari, chose life, and it was the right choice.

[thegoodgayshit]

The magic mirror is the best item ever added to bg3, and you can't tell me I'm wrong.

Not only that, but playing a durge character while romancing Shadowheart just got so much better. And sooo much angstier.

SPOILERS for Dark Urge/Shadowheart Romance under the cut:

I just did a full 180 on the opposites-attract trope from Act I to Act III, and it's all cuz of that damn mirror. And I am living for it.

So I started the game with my Prince Charming-looking, do-gooder tiefling Paladin, Elaina. Her goal? To help save as many innocents as she can. Despite, you know, that odd memory loss and those weird urges for horrific violence (hmm wonder what that's about?)

And then there's her opposite, Shadowheart... who seems unconcerned with do-gooding because of her memory loss and devotion to a vile and very undeniably evil goddess.

Then around the same time in Act II they start to change. Because now they're both going through it and realizing that do gooding is important... but a lot harder than they originally thought. They both start to lean a little too hard into the darkness. After the Butler speaks to Elaina for the third time, her horns get tipped red. The makeup gets darker, and the blond hair slowly gets streaked dark.

And Shadowheart changes too. She gets fixated on her journey to become a Dark Justiciar. She takes no shit and listens to nobody when they tell her it mighttt be a bad idea. The relationship growing between the two of them slows to almost a halt.

Then there's the tipping point. They both get so close to breaking. Shadowheart doesn't kill Nightsong. Elaina doesn't kill Isobel, so instead she almost kills Shadowheart. It's an all-time low for both of them. It's then that we see the roles change.

Durge slowly starts to lose herself to the realization of what they are. Their makeup and jewelry get edgier, and they cover their Paladin tattoo for a beholder. Their blond hair fades entirely to dark brown with streaks of grey from the stress. One of their topaz eyes turns blood red.

And Shadowheart is doing the opposite. She's freeing herself from Shar and rediscovering her lost faith in Selune. She lightens her hair, and smiles more. She gives durge encouragement to beat their blood curse because she really has become optimistic enough that she believes Elaina can. It's exactly what that blond haired Prince Charming Durge would have done for her in Act I.

Because god damn it, they both have worked too hard to lose one another to darkness again. They just got out of that boat. Shadowheart knows better than anybody she needed that Paladin to free herself from Shar. So she's going to be there to help free Elaina from Bhaal. Cinematic poetry.

And to think, all of these awesome cinematic parallels for a romance came together because Larian put the magic mirror in the game. God, I love BG3.

[lunastarlight593]

Gonna talk about my Cannon Rook and Dragon age a lot on here so I’m introducing Anna “Taron” de Riva!!! I love her so much and the questions are from @pinkhallaclub

1)Where in the Thedas is your Rook from?

Anna is born and raise in Tevinter, specifically from Minrathous until she was 13-15 years old

2)What is your character’s alignment?

Chaotic neutral or true neutral. Anna will do whatever she believes is right, even if it seems wrong to others and will be really reckless/won’t think before doing. At least at the beginning of the game

3)Race and subclass?

A human mage

4)If your Rook was companion, where would they be found?

She would be found in Minrathous on a contract, kinda. The “contract” is actually one she failed a year or two ago, before the game story takes place of course, and her mentor was killed by the man/contract she was supposed to kill and has finally found him again after that failure

5)What emotion did they usually pick?

Mostly the sarcasm/sassy ones and the stoic/serious ones

6)What companion are you platonically close with?

I would say Anna is close to Davrin and Bellara the most. After spending time with Davrin, she sees him as a genuine chill guy and not as bad as she thought for a Warden. And sees Bellara as a younger sister, like having Bellara ramble to her about anything

7)Romantically close with?

Lucanis :)

8)Who are they suspicious of?

Neve only cause she doesn’t trust any mages from Minrathous

9)Does your Rook get along with their chosen Faction?

Yes but after the fucking up the Talons operation, its now a “meh”, but slowly getting along again

10)Are they proficient in playing any instruments?

Yes, Anna plays a elven bass, specifically her father’s bassve

11)Weapon of choice?

Dagger and elemental orb, does use a staff from time to time tho. Uses thunder magic but knows a few neurotic spells

12)What is their orientation?

Bisexual

13)What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it?

I mean to her it’s a necessary cause she is a Crow but if it’s not for her job, she still will depend on the situation

14)What hobbies does your Rook have?

Anna plays music and dances, training either her fighting skills or magic, reads but not as much, gambling in card games and making bets with her fellow Crows, cooking, making poisons and alchemy, and origami

15)What NPCs do they like? Which one's do they dislike?

Anna loves Antoine and Evka and is she is honestly surprised to get along well with the Wardens. Has a love/hate relationship with Viago, sees her as a brother but after sending her away, Anna is piss with him still but their relationship gets better later on in the story. Love Teia but who doesn’t love Teia. Kinda hates Illario but not really at the same time. Really hates the First Warden and Governor Ivenci but yet again she hates politicians/military

16)Do they have a favorite creature in the Thedas?

Likes snakes, halla, and birds

17)Do they enjoy life as an adventurer?

She does, especially when Anna is traveling with Varric to find Solas cause it’s not her typical contract

18)What would your Rook be doing if they weren't recruited by Varric?

Honestly, she would probably be either kick out by crows or might even be kill by them. Or she would still be finding that failed “contract”

19)How do you think they'll meet their end?

Either old age or on a contract

20)Would they side with Solas or fight him?

Anna would fight him for sure

21)What is your Rook's favorite ability?

Void Blade and Tempest

22)What languages is your character fluent in?

Common tongue and Tevinter, some Antivan, and a bit of elvish. But she knows every curse word lol

23)What do they do after an absolute crisis?

She will keep acting her usual self, until Anna is by herself and she will just yell and scream and cry

24)Does your character believe in the afterlife?

Not really

25)What specialization best represents your Rook?

Spellblade cause it was specialise with the Crows but it also works for her story too

26)What animal best represents your Rook?

A cat or maybe a falcon

27)What was their life like before the events of Veilguard?

Lived in Minrathous for 13-15 years, jump on a boat and landed in Trevio, robbed people including Viago, was brought in to the crows by Viago, Viago and someone else(don’t know his name yet)train Anna, loses her other mentor due to her mistakes on a contract, meets Lucanis and gets along with him, Anna gets captured by the Venatori while finding the contract, and gets magic at the age of 32 because of the Venatori

28)Is your character the de facto leader of the party? Or do they consider someone else to be the leader?

Took charge as soon as when Varric ask her to, but Anna is starting to regret it/thinks she is a awful leader after the dragon attack and Weisshaupt

29)If you could choose a different faction for your Rook, which one would they have joined and why?

Anna would either join the Shadow Dragons or Lords of Fortune. For the Shadow Dragons: if she had stayed in Minrathous longer, Anna would have found out about them and joined. For Lords of Fortune: would have probably ended up there instead, Anna didn’t know where the boat would have taken her when she snuck on

30)What's your favorite thing about your Rook?

Anna’s sassness and her relationships with the characters(and looks cause god damn she is fine)

[bill-cipher-enjoyer]

astarion opinion post (ascension discourse incoming)

ascended astarion discourse is all over my tumblr rn so i thought id throw my 2 cents in. this isnt gonna make a lot of sense, probably, and keep in mind ive never played BG3, im just OBSESSED with the silly vampire man (and watched the supercut of all of his romance and personal quest scenes)

opinions under cut (to spare those who dont want the discourse and are just here for hot vampire man)

okay so. ive seen like...3 opinions about him. those being "do what you want, its ur playthrough", "ascending astarion turns him into an abuser"/"youre a horrible person for ascending astarion" and "ascended astarion hot" me personally, I agree with two of those statements.

HOWEVER. on the moral-ness of the whole...ascension thing.

post ascension, does he ever abuse tav? because I have yet to see anything even suggesting he does so.

yes, its going to be bloody. of course it is, it's DnD in the 3rd dimension. its going to be bloody. Did you not realize how bloody the actual game of DnD is? you commit a LOT of murder in that game

Subpoint: how many murders in bg3 is too many? because iirc you cannot play the game pacifist...this aint undertale, my friend.

Have you never so deeply desired revenge over your abusers? because I'd like to give what's been done to me 3fold, and i've only dealt with abuse for 5 years. Imagine 200 years of abuse in a way that we literally cannot understand because it's not possible in our universe. OF COURSE astarion wants to be stronger than cazador, and to get his revenge on cazador. HE'S BEEN ABUSED.

Seriously I cannot stress this enough his desire to hurt cazador is so that he cannot be abused again.

segway: and if you knew, that doing this one thing, would prevent you from suffering any of the negative side effects of a condition you've had for a WHILE, would you not do it? Don't say no, don't lie to me.

and about the spawns: again. you are not a horrible person for commiting murder in a video game. it is a video game, they are just pixels. what you would do in a video game does not always line up with real life.

In conclusion, who needs morals when you have good hair?

also i would let astarion drain me like a capri-sun and my last words would be thank you

[malicedafirenze]

I unintentionally skipped a lot of the romance content in Baldur's Gate 3 and I want others to learn from my mistakes:

So: I managed to lock myself out of romance entirely and ended up alone, which was a huge bummer and a serious crack in my motivation to play the game. I finished my playthrough (because I was already close to the end of Act 3 when I realized it), and plan to do another one eventually. I'm making this post in hopes of a) keeping others from making the same mistakes and b) to possibly get some additional insight re. what to watch out for in my next playthrough.

PSA: Pick a Partner before Act 3

The key learning here for me was this explanation from the poly mod

In BG3, romance is divided into 2 steps: dating and relationship(also called partner). Dating is basically where you are at after the 1st romance scene. Relationship is where you are at after the 2nd romance scene (relationship also unlocks the kissing menu). BTW, If you enter A3, all dates will break up with you (partners won't, ofc).

I hadn't realized this until well into Act 3, at a point where going back to a save to properly fix it would have meant replaying large parts of Act 2 as well - I decided to finish my run instead and then start a completely new one later.

Note: lots of spoilers below. (click here to read this post on reddit instead)

My Romance Woes

I read in advance that you couldn't romance multiple people (except for the specific Halsin combos with Shadowheart and Astarion) and therefore turned down Gale and Lae'Zel early in the game (not realizing you could just date/bonk them without fully committing or getting anyone upset)

I didn't take approval all that seriously, thought I'd have more opportunity to fix things later. I was playing pretty good guy, and ended up with high approval for Karlach and Shadowheart, but low for Astarion. Weirdly, I don't recall an option to romance Shadowheart (no clue what I missed?) and the only option I had for Karlach was at the Tiefling party, where I went with Astarion instead. I had a scene or two with him, but then didn't progress further in the relationship, without really realizing what I was missing.

I wanted to romance everyone, sat on the fence for too long, and ended up not romancing anyone at all, by missing a thing or two in act 1 and 2 and being too late to fix it in act 3. Don't be like me, it feels bad man.

Early Act 3, I got Astarion's breakup dialogue ("we haven't spent a night together in some time" --> him explaining it was just transactional and he doesn't see the value in it anymore) and got super worried, but when trying to look up if I'd messed up, I didn't find a clear answer for without more spoilers, so I just continued playing Act 3, including all of the companion quests.

I later learned that I missed out on at least one important Astarion romance interaction by not going to Moonrise Towers until after freeing Nightsong. (when the Towers are already on high alert, i.e. I could only fight and not have a lot of conversations)

After realizing I had messed up companions romance, I instead fucked everyone it was unwise to fuck (Emperor, Mizora, Harleep...) for fun and to see what would happen... but chickened out and reloaded after Emperor and Mizora. Still, got to enjoy some fun content that way!

The ending I got (going to Avernus with Karlach) was really cool and made me cry a lot. I then did try to reload my last save though, to see if I'd get any other epilogue content if I didn't go to the Hells, but... apparently that scene on the docks (Astarion goofily running off, everyone kinda agreeing to go party after this, no other conversations with anyone again.... is just... it?

Idk how much of this is the lack of romance, but I really felt like something was missing there. I at least wanted to talk to everyone again one last time.

This is a post about my romance failures and regrets so I'm not gonna talk about everything else that I loved about the game, but just in case this is getting a bit too negative: I had an absolute blast with the whole game regardless, I'm stoked to give it another go the "proper" way (i.e. with romance). I also generally think it's really fucking cool that this game's romance options depend on how you behave, and that you can't just e.g. give someone the right kind of gift 20 times in a row to make them love you, like it works in games like Stardew Valley.

Next Playthrough Plans

I'll probably wait for another patch or two - considering how much got fixed and tweaked with the first three patches, I suppose it's worth to wait a bit and see what's coming

I'll play with the Poly mod next time and try to romance all of the Origin characters.

I plan to play with the camp notifications mod, as well as the approval ratings in dialogue mod. Both in hopes of being able to game the romance a bit better and get much of the romance in one playthrough

I'll play Dark Urge (haven't seen any of that so far!), but probably still go for a "good" playthrough mostly

I plan on equipping & levelling all Origin companions and switch them out more freely, in order to get approval from everyone and edit my party as makes sense depending on story events (e.g. take Lae'Zel to the Creche, take Gale to the Ketheric fight...)

I want to romance everyone. I already saw some tips for early game Astarion approval and assume the aforementioned mods will help in optimizing this

Am probably not gonna do anything all that differently otherwise because my heart can't take an actually evil playthrough

Aand that's about it. As mentioned, I'm mostly posting in case this helps anyone else.

I was really damn sad when I realized I had locked myself out of all romance, because the romance was a significant part of my motivation to start playing this in the first place. At the same time, I loved so much about the game that I still got a lot out of it in 110+ hours even with minimal romance content.

If you see any red flags about my plans for the next playthrough (or if you have experience with the mentioned mods!), I'd appreciate comments and insights. Other than that, here's hoping others can learn from my mistakes. Thank you for reading <3

[alpaca-clouds]

Two weeks ago, @agramuglia uploaded the cut version of the stream he did with Charlie Knight on disability representation in fantasy worlds. And given that around the same time we had a bit of a discussion in my blog about the same issue in regards of BG3, I want to share some thoughts on this. Mind you, I am also picking up some stuff in regards to the amazing videos that Oakwyrm does on disability representation.

Because there are two topics that are so often not brought up in this context. And I am kinda saddened and a bit annoyed by this. So, let me talk about it. Because the topics of what kind of disability we see in fantasy and science fiction and what kind we don't see is actually a big topic.

Generally most fantasy disabilities fall into one of two categories:

Acquired disabilities (often in forms of missing limbs or a missing eye) that were acquired under dramatical, tragic, or heroic circumstances.

Fantasy-setting specific disabilities (for example a character who cannot fly in a setting, where everyone else can fly, or of course the classic "non-magic character in a magic world").

The first kind is the stuff we see probably most of. Again, often we see this in form of missing limbs, that depending on the setting are either replaced with some sort of magic prothesis. Ideally this is handled at least like it is in Fullmetal Alchemist, where the prothesis does not always work perfectly and needs some maintanance. Sadly, though, in a lot of cases the magic prothesis is perfect, and also other stuff that usually comes to play in regards of missing limbs (like phantom pain and related issues) do not really come to play.

Same goes with some sort of magical glass eyes and so on, if characters are missing an eye. I will not even start with the fact that glass eyes in fantasy are always perfect little balls rather than how those actually look in reality.

And either way: Usually the way those limbs and eyes have gone missing, there is really a big story behind it. In real life very typical ways for people to loose limbs is stuff like simple injuries that lead to infections, or accidents that were really kind of silly. Not in fantasy or scifi. There you do not geenrally lose a limb, unless you lose it to a dragon or devil (or I guess in a desperate attempt to revive your mother). There is always a good story behind it.

And then there are the other kind of disability we see, which the more metaphorical disability. Yes, within a world were everyone can do magic, the person who cannot do magic is disabled. Yes, within the world where everyone can fly, the person who cannot is also disabled. And yes, Karlach in Baldur's Gate 3 with her engine that is killing her has also a disability within the context of the world - as does Gale with his orb, or Shadowheart with her magic pain attacks. Heck, you could make the argument that in a way Astarion as a vampire also has magical disabilities.

But what bugs me so much about this is... The lack of all the stuff that does not get shown.

A lot of people have already spoken about how rarely we see some sort of wheelchair in fantasy settings. (In SciFi we often then see the flying wheelchairs, that are an issue on their own, though that is something I will have to talk about at another time.)

But there is so much more that we usually do not see.

Missing limbs make up around 7-8% of all disabled people. And those are mostly older people, given that - again - limb loss usually occurs because the body struggles to heal a wound and the limb needs to be amputated to prevent infactions from spreading and such. (Almost 90% of people who loose their limps are also older than 45 when they do.)

A lot of disabilities (the vast majorities) are in fact some sort of cognitive disabilities. And sure, we do see quite a few characters that are autism-coded or ADHD-coded in media. Exhibit A would be Dungeon Meshi, of course, but I mean, we all can probably name a few characters that read very autistic or hyperactive. But those are also usually the variations of those where yes, the characters might experience some disability from it, but... We do not have an autistic non-verbal protagonist, do we now?

And then there is of course all those other disabilities. I mean, I cannot imagine a single example of a character with trisomnie in fantasy or scifi media. I also have not seen a character with my disability (severely limited lung function) in fantasy or scifi before - even though, mind you, scifi could probably easily create a device that would allow someone like me to live fairly normally. You will also rarely ever find a character with something like athritis or other forms of rheumatic illness in fantasy and scifi settings. And generally speaking, with a few exceptions there are barely any characters who were born with their disabilities or have acquired their disabilities through sickness of one way or another - even though this is by far in the real world the most common way of acquiring a disability.

Other stuff we do not see: Limb differences, anything that is perceived as disfiguring (and even if those are described in books, they usually get toned down HEAVILY in movies or games, and of course anything that is related to food.

With this I am not saying that the other disabilities - those we see - are bad. But I am saying that we absolutely deserves to see those other disabilities too. And not just in some realworld drama stuff. (I mean, when it comes to depictions of a character with down syndrome in media, I can only think of one good example, which is Ansel in Stumptown, which is very much just crime drama. But that is like the one time I can think of that a character with that disability who is given agency by the plot, and who gets to have his own life, with a job, and a girlfriend and everything.)

And yeah...

Like, the two pieces of fantasy media I wanna point out as being actually pretty darn good with disability representation of a wide variety of disabilities are:

Witch Hat Atelier: This series basically focuses on the question of morality in regards to using magic to cure - and using magic to cure disabilities, too. Because of this, we see a variety of disabilities, including disabilities people were born with, disabilities acquired through sickness or through dramatic plot reasons and so on. This is really, really good in that regard.

The Witcher novel series: I hate it so much that this is something that all the adaptions just ignore. The Witcher books are very, very heavy in dealing with disabilities in a lot more realistic matters. The fact that magicians mostly are disabled people, for whom the society does not have any other use than learning magic (for whcih they get cured of their disability, and the books actually dare to quesiton "Is that a good thing?") is one part. But Geralt himself is fairly disabled, as he is dealing with chronic pain and has a limp. Gods, I would murder for a good adaption of these books

[tavyliasin]

BG3 FicFeb NSFW - Day 8

This one was a little fun, more suggestive than full action smut but I spoiled you with a longer piece yesterday and still have my Baldur's Date piece to write~ As Tav has tried a great many things, and keeps none of them secret from Astarion as she shares her diary with him as they agreed, there's little he doesn't know about what she wants. But there is one thing she has been loathe to admit out loud... CWs and Tags here are pretty tame~ Voice kink, blindfold use, and a slight hint of power play, praise kink, and a lot of teasing.

Smut below the cut! ----- -----

Day 8 - Tav/Durge Explores A Secret Kink With Their LI

Tav was laying back against Astarion’s chest, his legs either side of her hips and his arms draped loosely around her shoulders, as comfortable as a familiar blanket, a deep feeling of warmth and safety in the embrace. In his hands he held a book they had borrowed from Gale, his head resting against hers. She was the faster reader of the two, so it was little need for him to ask when to turn the pages and continue. The moment of peace was well earned, claiming the room in the Elfsong Tavern for nothing more than a chance to rest while the others sought their own entertainment. Or at least, that was their plan.

“This is ridiculous,” Astarion complained, a hint of amusement in his voice, “a sword like hers would not be able to cut through the thick hide of a fully grown owlbear in one swing. My darling, I am getting the distinct impression the author has not been in a single real fight in his life.” 

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice, much as she tried to ignore it. “Well, you can’t expect everyone to have the kinds of adventures we’ve had, can you?” A little thought occurred to her in that moment, born of the blush creeping unbidden up her neck at the sound of his quiet laugh close beside her ear. “Maybe you should change the story a little. Read it to me, won’t you? My eyes grow so weary of staring at the pages~”

“Such theatrics, my love,” he kissed her quickly warming cheek as he relented, “very well, now where were we?” 

“The brave heroine took down the foul beast-”

“Of course… So, the body of the creature fell at her feet as her breasts heaved from the effort.” He hummed quietly in thought, the feeling vibrating from his chest to her back. “Do they really heave? Well. Moving on.”  

—

Astarion continued reading, his voice soft by Tav’s ear, noticing with a hidden smile how her body was growing warmer without a single touch, her head leaning back more onto his shoulder and her eyes fluttering closed. 

Perfect, he thought to himself with a devious idea, now she will have no idea when I change the story…

He was subtle at first, changing a few lines to a slightly more seductive context, taking note of how she reacted. Then he began to lower the book, freeing his hand to caress her soft skin, almost surprised to note just how hot and flush she felt. 

“Should I stop reading now, darling?” He kissed her ear softly, a pleased shudder through her back palpable against his chest.

“Please don’t,” she whispered, “I…like hearing your voice.” 

“Next time I will have to ask for one of his more lewd novels then, if you enjoy those stories more~” The last words came with a slight growl, earning a small gasp from her parted lips.

“It isn’t that,” even her breathing was quickened, “you could be reading the most boring treatise on the proper use of illusion magic and I would feel the same…”

“You have some very strange taste in erotic literature, love~” He continued to speak soft and low, putting more playfulness into the tone, relishing how her body would subtly move of its own accord.

“I…” She paused, as if embarrassed to go on.

“Tell me, my love,” he kissed along the edge of her ear again, a few teasing bites with sharp yet gentle teeth. “What is it you desire? I have read all of your exploits in the diary we share, and played my part in many. Nothing you could reveal would make me think less of you.” 

“Your voice…” She moaned as he continued to tease her with the slightest touch. “I…really love the sound of your voice.” 

“Why didn’t you say so sooner, darling? That is an easy wish to grant you…” He stroked her hair softly before bringing his hand over her eyes. “Shall I take your vision from you, so you can hear me more clearly?”

—

Tav couldn’t stop the moan from slipping out into the quiet room. “Please, Astarion-” 

“Then hold still, love, I will give you everything you want.” He reached over to grab a small dagger he kept in easy reach even now - old habits die hard after all - and cut away the silken cover of a nearby cushion. 

The fabric strip easily covered her eyes, blocking out the remaining light. The removal of one sense had the tendency to heighten the others temporarily, and she felt the truth in that with every word. 

“Now, not a word from you, but there is no need to stay silent…let me hear how I make you feel~” Astarion’s voice melted through her, soft as velvet, long practised seduction this time without any false promises. 

She nodded, just a small sound with it not finding a full syllable on her tongue.

“Good, darling, just like that.” He purred, wrapping his arms around her waist and caressing the line of her hip. “Your body is astonishing, how just a few words can have you squirming against me without so much as a kiss upon your soft lips.”

As he spoke, Tav’s body responded again, without any input from her will. His fingertips found her wrist, trailing up to her elbow.

“Such strength and skill, and yet all it takes is a little talk and you’re already melting into me.” His teasing was infuriating. “Should I continue telling you everything I love about your body, how you moan so sweetly for me, how I want nothing more than to rip off your clothes right now and taste every part of you…”

Tav nearly stopped breathing, already feeling the depth of her lust pooling deep in her stomach, every muscle in her body coiled tense like a spring…

“Or shall I make good on that promise, and keep talking while I do it?” His hands drifted away from their soft caressing, depriving her of any touch but his body against her back and his lips on her neck.

“Please…anything, just so long as I can hear you.” She begged, forgetting the one instruction that she had been given.

“Naughty little darling,” he purred with an edge of seductive threat, “but I will forgive you this once.”

Tav felt him press a line of kisses from her neck to her ear, directing the power of his voice to the very centre of her desire.

“Truth be told, love, your own voice can have a similar effect on me when I hear you beg so very beautifully for my affections~”

[bharv]

just saw your dao mention in another ask and i'm wondering if you have a ted talk about why you love it?

i also REALLY loved dao but i recently replayed it and i'm wondering how much of my affection was just nostalgia. some of that is just an aging game of course, but if dao came out today i'd be even crankier about some of the design choices than I am about bg3 (and I have a lot of cranky bg3 thoughts that I don't post haha)

I think I last played in 2021 probably, and that was my 9th playthrough lol.

Is it perfect? No, but to me it stands up really well still. I like CRPGs but with older ones I sometimes struggled with how much you needed to use your imagination and/or how unintuitive the UI was. I will say I first played DAO on console and switching to PC was a revelation, it was so definitely built for hotkeys and mod support! But I loved the voiced companions, the 3D graphics.

I think there have been other less graphically ambitious CRPGs that have also done things I love. The Pillars of Eternity games, for sure. Some of the Owlcat games. But there's something about the character design of the companions, the way the dwarven origins weave into the main narrative, the way the story unfolds in exactly the amount of time it needs to take that I love in Origins. (side note I think people that didn't like it so much really should play as dwarves, and if they don't like it for aesthetic reasons they need to. Grow up. That's my TED talk lmao)

Some of it is nostalgia, for sure. We've come a long way in a lot of areas from 2009. But I think the balance of exploration and linear storytelling is a sweet spot for me, I find endless open world really tiring unless there's excellent environmental storytelling happening (Skyrim and Fallout New Vegas do it very well, a lot of other games including Inquisition don't do it as well for me.) I love the writing on the whole, especially the two dwarf paths which are the highlight of the whole series IMO. You have a lot of narrative freedom with your warden in a way you don't with Hawke or the Inquisitor, and that's got a lot to do with not having a voiced protag. I'm not a voiced protag fan at all, unless you are telling a very tight story. I feel like if you're trying to allow for a really customisable main character it always hinders things. Shepard is that sweet spot for many, but is extremely hard to get right; it basically works because they are set in a very particular position at the start of the game, but their past is very broad brushstrokes, and the v/o is kept very neutral.

I actually am in the minority of loving BG3, lol. It's again not perfect and I do mourn the game we might have had from early access, but they struck a balance between appeal to audience, graphic level, scale and sheer amount of options that I think is insanely impressive technically. I just wish they'd kept a little more of what they wanted to do instead of responding quite so much to fan desires, but then again the game would have appealed to a much smaller audience had they done that.

But to me, BG3 combines gameplay I actually enjoy, characters I actually love, environments I like playing in, and choices that feel really juicy, and that's what I want in a game. And that feels like origins to me.

Origins certainly isn't perfect and there's BIG things I would change (why do the villainous men all have big noses? Why are the skin tones so poor? Why would a human society based on a church led by women with a woman as prophet still be patriarchal and sexist?) but I think it still has some of the more interesting writing of the series balanced with the narrative freedom I like in an RPG like that.

[witchofthewild]

Nah okay I’ve been playing bg3 and it’s good, but I’ve kinda been like. :/ because a lot of the games feels unfinished to me, but seeing posts about wyll and Karlach (my two main characters I have in my party aside from Shadowheart, who i thought her story was just progressing really fast?) and realizing that oh, this isn’t a broader pacing speed in the game or a broader level of the game not being finished, it’s a wyll (and somewhat karlach) thing. Ah. Like Mercury kissed Wyll at the tiefling party, but Wyll hasn’t had any new dialogue options since, and I’m halfway through the underdark??? Also I completely missed his side quest with his father, companion quests should not be that easily missed!!

I was rlly surprised with how fast the dialogue trees are exhausted in this game in general tbh, it’s quite limited so far compared to its peers in the genre. Also this is a personal gripe but i hate that they don’t have clearly labeled when a dialogue has a “flirt” tag, i got to the tiefling party scene and literally everyone propositioned my character, despite the fact i was only flirting with astarion and wyll. Adding a little heart at the end of flirtatious dialogue options doesn’t break immersion it literally just clarifies the tone the line is written in 😭

Also the character creator got so much hype, but legit it was the most disappointing customization I’ve seen in a hot sec. Like dai (a game from a decade ago) and Elden ring (a game where you don’t even see ur characters face nearly ever) both had far more advanced customization, and like. Even that wasn’t enough when it comes to representation. Also like dhgjkg for a game that advertised its ~risqué~ content, a) it’s quite tame, and b) you can’t even pick your chest size? 🤨 (which again, is not even getting into the extreme limitations w different body sizes and shapes)

Like it’s a fun game and I’m enjoying myself, but like. For a game that swept at the award season and costed me eighty bucks, I kinda feel like the game should feel finished, let alone have some level of polish. (Also also im glad it’s getting the content updates it clearly needs, but it’s insane that it won GAME OF THE YEAR! and is still getting base game content updates???!??? I really hate the trend it’s emblematic of in the industry tbhhh)