#platonic Demus

[loganslowdown4]

cw/swearing, dirty jokes, nothing graphic just silly—

Remus: Hey JanJan! Let’s play ‘try not to laugh’!

Janus: Remus dear, you know I’ll win—

Remus: Aw cmon snake boi! I promise I’ll try really REALLY hard not to laugh—

Janus: *sigh* FINE, I will go first then, to see… What did one eye say to the other eye?

Remus: What?

Janus: Between us, something smells—

Remus: *presses his lips together* I’m surprised you didn’t say me.. Ok, what did one BUTTCHEEK say to the other?

Janus: *sighs again* I don’t know. What DID one buttcheek say to the other?

Remus: Together we can stop this shit!

Janus: *deadpan look* Ok then. How does a dog with no nose smell?

Remus: No nose??? That I’d like to see! I dunno, how does he smell?

Janus: Awful.

Remus: *coughs* Ooh ok, Jan, that was close but no nose! I got one. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when a client leaves?

Janus: *almost chokes* Ah. Idiot. Damn. *clears throat* Alright, what do they say?

Remus: Thanks for coming!!

Janus: *quietly**trying to keep a straight face* oh Jesus Christ. *out loud* Fine, that one ALMOST got me, but I’ve got your number honey.

Remus: Ooh lay it on me baby, I’m ready to NOT laugh at your shitty joke *grins*

Janus: Well get ready to eat shit then. *ahem* What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

Remus: *inhales* A—

Janus: *cutting him off* A seatbelt darling. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Remus: *bursts out laughing*

Janus: Told you I’d win.

Remus: I think we both win, you bastard! Hehehehe

Janus: *gives him an evil grin* hah

[xandriagreat]

BEACH TIME!!!!

This is for @platonicsidesweek

Janus and Remus went on the beach vacation. Janus just relaxed while Remus runs and have fun into the water.

[theycallmeaspen]

*In art class, drawing stickmen*

Janus: Hmm, which dictator's face should I draw on mine?

Remus: I'm drawing my favourite communist dictator, Hatsune Miku

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

A Mask

Thanks to @januskin for the inspiration.

Janus paused, staring a moment at human skin on the back of his right hand and the faint blue lines pulsating beneath the skin. It was sharp contrast to the olive-y scales that covered the other half of his body. He sighed glanced away for a moment before taking another breath and going back to peeling the loosen scales from his middle arm.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Jan-Jan?"

Janus half glanced over his shoulder to where Remus sat, dutifully avoiding eye contact and carefully peeling Janus's back. "Nothing," he answered.

"Good thing you're not wearing pants," Remus taunted. "They'd have gone up in flames with that one!"

Janus sighed. "Remus-"

"I'm just saying no one sighs 15 times in 20 minutes and not have something on their mind. Hold still, let me get behind your ear."

Janus sighed yet again and let Remus pushed his head down to clear away the shed skin there. "No, I suppose they don't."

"You can tell me to stick a sock in, but I know you better than to believe you when you say nothing's wrong, Janus."

He almost sighed again, but stopped himself. He didn't want to add to Remus's count. "Since when are you so insightful?" He questioned, a biting edge to his voice. A hand rubbed up and down his spine, and Janus tilted sideways, knowing Remus would catch him.

"We both know the answer to that," Remus answered softly. "What's wrong, Jan-Jan?"

"You're going to make fun of me."

"I'm gonna make fun of you whether you tell me or not, you little tree snake. Might as well spill the beans."

Janus chuckled faintly, his head still rested on Remus shoulder. "I suppose that's true. I don't like my skin. And it's bothering me more tonight than usual."

"Well, that makes sense. You're shedding-"

"No. The human skin. I don't like the human skin. It feels...wrong. Like an ill fitting costume." He tilted one of his left hands back and forth on the dim light of the cave and watched the light dance across the slightly iridescent scales. "These are beautiful. This?" He held up a right hand next to it. "This dull. It's like a mask I didn't want to be given. It's constraining. I don't like it."

"I do," Remus replied. "I like both sides of you."

"Of course you do. You're my best friend, you're obligated to say those sorts if things."

"I'm also not a liar," Remus retorted with a smirk. "When have I ever done any of that softening the truth for other people's feelings?"

Janus smiled faintly. "Fair enough, I suppose."

Remus kissed his head. "You ready for me to skin for face?"

Janus rolled his eyes. "So much for that touching moment."

Remus giggled and lightly jabbed Janus in the ribs. "Lay down so I can pull your eye out too."

Janus scowled. "I'm so glad I have such a thoughtful friend to help me with this uncomfortable experience," he deadpanned and laid down with his head in Remus lap.

"Lucky too!" Remus chirped "Now hold still, Two-Face."

Janus closed his eyes and tried not to think as Remus peeled back a layer of scales and use scissors to carefully separate it from his human skin. Deep in his chest there was an ache and he wished the scissors were not necessary. The unpleasant snipping sound aside, it would just be better if all of him was scaled. Perhaps it would look monstrous to some, but to him, they were beautiful.

It wasn't that he saw the human half of himself as ugly, he was very fond of his similarities to his Whole, but perhaps it was the distance that Thomas had put between them that made it feel...like those features didn't truly belong to him.

The thought made him frown. He didn't want to lose his scales if Thomas accepted him. To Janus his scales were a reflection of his purpose, his human side was a disguise of it. He loved Thomas and loved his connection to him, but the human half of his face, the side that looked most like Thomas, was uncomfortable to look at some days. Janus sighed. He doubted it was something he'd every fully be able to put into words.

He opened his eyes, suddenly noticing the lack of the sound of scissors. Remus looked on him with a gentle expression.

"Just waiting for you to be ready for your eye."

"What would I do without you?"

"You're clever enough, you'd figure something out. Or. Yknow, just get infected shed build up and have to find someone else to skin you. Ready?"

"Not really, but if I must be."

Remus carefully held Janus's eye open by the outer edge and found the edge of the eye cap on inner corner and peeled it out with practiced ease.

Janus let out the breath he'd been holding in his chest and Remus thumbed little circles on his temple.

"You okay, little snake?"

Janus nodded. "Thank you for taking care of me."

[mythrianalpha]

Shoutout to fever brain for giving me one of the funniest meet-cute-esque ideas. I think the context was Remus seeing a nervous Janus in Picani’s waiting room and trying to make him feel better, and Picani wondering why his next meeting hasn’t shown up despite being checked in. Totally works if ‘too incredulous to feel anxiety’ counts as a success, though I imagine most initial interactions with remus feel like getting hit with a frying pan.

“Everything alright out here?”

“We locked eyes and he saw the truth. He simply could not handle his own accursed swaglessness in the face of my fly vibes. That’s okay though; the true swag is all the branded shit we’re gonna steal from the mall at 5.”

“Did you just call me fucking swagless and invite me shoplifting?”

[st7arlight]

1/4

[firewolf111]

Prompt from @jesterbilly Someone trying to bring in a pet without someone noticing

Remus: *crawling on the floor towards his room*

Janus: Remus. What are you up to this time?

Remus: Nothing.

Janus: Mhmm. Sure. Stand up.

Remus: *stands, trying to hide an obvious squirming lump in his shirt*

Janus: *sighing* What is it this time?

Remus: *pulls out an octopus* This is my son.

Janus: Please tell me it doesn't have rabies.

Remus: Silly, Jan. Octopuses can't get rabies.

Janus: First off, octopi... I think. Second, I know that. Yet somehow you've given a fish rabies before. So...

Remus: ...

Janus: So that's a yes. Go put it back where you found it.

Remus: *pouting* fine. *leaves*

Janus: *to the now empty room* ... it's going to end up in my bed tonight, isn't it?

[keter-class-anomaly]

Instead of doing the art rec that I JUST asked for, I drew this

Based off of this Pinterest comment about some fan art which I was unable to find the source of.

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Janus: Walking out of court after beating the rakish foppish dandy allegations.

Remus: Walking? Not traipsing gayly?

Janus: Certainly not. I do not want to be brought up in the same charges so soon after I narrowly escaped judgement.

[loganslowdown4]

Remus: I’m off to do something stupid!

Janus: Hold the fuck up—

Remus: :(

Janus: Not without me!

Remus: :D

[doughbrainer]

Headcanon: Remus And Janus Have Been Friends Since Childhood. Couple Of Goof Balls Being The Odd Ones Out. (Also Let Me Know If You Know What The Hat Janus Is Wearing Is Referencing ;) )

Keep Reading For Art + Sketches + References

Audio From Bluey Episode Season 2 Episode 8, Daddy Dropoff

[oatmealdaydreams]

Another AU Idea

Remus is the Gomez to Janus' Morticia.

And Virgil is their Wednesday.

Anyway, I'm thinking about an Addams Family AU-

[theycallmeaspen]

Remus: Because of pregnancy, the average number of skeletons per person is more than one

Janus: Remus, it's three in the FUCKING MORNING

[canonically47]

did YOU enjoy that one 2.9k words oneshot of logan spanking remus with the paddle? for. whatever reason??!!

WELL GUESS WHAT!! A SECOND PART HAS HIT AO3!!!!

READ HERE !!!!!! :D

and stay tuned for when they fuck confess. who said fuck. who s- YOU. GET BACK HERE (chases after myself)

THIRD PART HERE !!!

[edupunkn00b]

Progression, Ch. 1: Ready to Play

Photo by edupunkn00b

Ready to Play - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ] - Playlist

Day 1 of Dukeceit Week 2024: Sunflowers… totally not posted late

-

The Muse lay sprawled in sun-warmed soil, bright yellow and orange sunflowers towering over him, blocking most of the sun. Tiny hairs grew out of the thick green stalks surrounding him and he reached out, feeling their soft prickle like he could read the stories they had to tell by touch alone.

Now wouldn’t that be interesting?

But the stalks kept their secrets.

His fingers closed around the nearest stalk and he squeezed, sticky, acrid juice from its xylem seeping between his fingers and running up his sleeve. He laughed, tight and sharp and just this side of hysterical. Papa Bear was gonna be so mad if he stained his shirt.

The Muse laughed again, rusted nails in his throat.

Tears pricked his eyes and he squeezed them shut until his ears roared and his cheeks and neck were wet. When he opened them again, the sunflowers were gone, the sticky sunflower residue gone from his hands. The carpet by the door was rough against his cheek, textured to collect any stray dust or debris any of his visitors might track in from the outside.

Lucas had left him laying in his bed but he didn’t want to waste a moment of his visit with Jannie, so the second that damned door had closed, The Muse had scurried over to wait.

Jannie was now getting the same treatment he had, Lucas’ hands splayed over his skin, pressing in calm and peace. Pulling away the ache and hurt and panic that could set him off. Again.

It had been three fucking days since he’d last seen Jannie, last heard his voice, last touched his hand. His scars—the latest ones—were almost totally healed up the last they’d been together and Lucas and Papa Bear had even left them alone for a whole hour. But three fucking days?

It had been even longer since he’d last seen Ro.

The Muse closed his eyes and saw the sunflowers again. And waited.

~

“It is a temporary setback,” Janus murmured, relaxing against Lucas’ warm hands. He closed his eyes and let Lucas’ power buff away the edges of his disbelief.

But Luc couldn’t hide from him and his doubt rasped Janus’ mind. - “Temporary?”-

Janus covered Luc’a hands and nodded. “Yes,” he said aloud, wary of breaking his fragile concentration. He’d finished with Re and gone right to where Janus waited outside the twins’ wing. They only had four hours before Patton returned with the other two. That didn’t leave them much time. Especially if something went wrong.

“None of that now, love,” Luc murmured and a warmth washed over him, drawing away the worry and fear filling his lungs. “You’re right,” he said with more certainty than Janus heard in his thoughts. Janus clung to it anyway. “His last break was just a setback. This will work.”

~

Wrapped in the wisps of Luc’s power, Janus barely jumped when Re’s door flung open.

“Jannie!” A ball of noise and heat barreled into him, Re’s skinny arms wrapped tightly around him. The wave of fear and need and relief stole his breath and he held Re just as close.

“Jannie, you’re here! You’re here, you’re here, you’re here!” Tears thickened Re’s voice and the room around them grew dark and warm. Technicolored sunflowers shot up around them, leaves reaching for them and dusting Janus with their pollen.

“I’m here, Re, right here,” he said with words and thoughts. Gradually, the flowers around them shrunk down to a soft carpet of honeysuckle and mint.

Re nodded against his shoulder, fists twisted in his shirt. “You just came from work,” he said instead of asking.

“I did.” Janus kept his voice low and let his thoughts flow freely. Re was so much more coherent this visit, and the control of his flowers had been… different from before. “Ro reached out to me.”

Dandelions sprouted around him, tendrils creeping over his ankles and up his legs. Re trembled in his arms, shaking his head. “It didn’t hurt! It didn’t hurt either of us, I promise! Ro stayed outside the room the whole time, we just talked and played music and—“ His words fell into a babble, leaving only the fear in his thoughts as the flowers tightened their grip on Janus’ legs.

-“Re, I know,”- Janus didn’t bother with words, not with Re so close to the edge. -“I know,”- he repeated, carding his fingers through Re’s hair. No-one wanted to keep the brothers from each other but when Patton and Luc had needed six hours to calm Ro enough to stitch up his wounds from Re’s thorns…

Separation between the brothers had become increasingly required.

“No-one’s in trouble,” Janus promised. “Everything’s alright.”

“Really?” Re’s eyes were impossibly big.

“Really,” he said, smoothing back his hair.

Re’s eyes slipped shut and the ground softened beneath their feet. “Wanna cuddle?” he asked, smiling when Janus nodded.

Janus blinked and he was on his back, Re curled over his chest. “We could actually lie down, if you like,” he chuckled. “Not just in my mind.”

“Everything’s in your mind, Jannie,” he laughed, rich bells ringing out. “We’re just skipping the middleman.”

-

@imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper