#planet vort

[ms-scarletwings]

This Single Oversight Will Bring Irken-Kind to Its Knees

I have a little riddle for you.

What does an ant nest, a computer, and the ancient city of Troy have in common?

While you ponder the significance of this question and consider your answer, there’s a few things I want to analyze about the worldbuilding of Invader Zim.

We may have heard it said before, least I have (and agree), that the fate of the IZ universe appears to be a rather bleak picture.

Through our lens of focus, being upon Earth and an oh-so specific nutball waging his battle upon humanity, we often don’t do as much thinking about the larger cosmic war taking place meanwhile. Not between the Meekrob and Tenn, not between the Tallest and every dumb luck threat they are thrown against, but between the Irken Armada and all life in the entire universe, sentient or not.

Their intentions will not be made any more clear, between outright eradication or eventual enslavement of every lifeform they set their sights on. While they have alliances and neutral treaties, those agreements seem few and far between, as well as born from temporary conveniences. The cards have already been dealt, and all available evidence has indicated that every planet they are aware of is doomed from the moment The Massive was operational.

Though littered with inefficiencies and incompetency that could suggest an empire in internal decline, the development of the control brains and other centralized command crutches of the species suggests the Irkens can still keep a well oiled machine running, no matter how many mishaps happen along the way. At least, that machine and their plundered resources will definitely outlast the survival of their enemies, for sure.

To speak of their enemies, there has not been a single competitive race within the show that demonstrates any credible threat to Operation Impending Doom II- only those that can resist the conquest a little bit longer than others, or those who survive by appeasing Irk (or evading its detection). The fall of Vort, which stood as the homeworld of the only aliens with the technological ability to match the armada’s firepower is…. Really bad news. That’s to say the least of comparatively primitive, TINY planets like Earth or Blorch, standing zero chance in the way of what’s eventually coming. This is a war that has continued despite the death of two.. FOUR Almighty Tallests if you follow the movie’s events… and Irkens wholly are still thriving for it across the Galaxy.

So, given all of these facts, and the perception that the Irkens (like any invasive species or colonial force) don’t seem to be a society that will make responsible and/or sustainable use of their ill-gotten territory… it seems like this is how life across the universe ends in Invader Zim one day: Not with a bang, not with the whimper of heat death, but through screams muffled under the bloody boots of a dominant predator- a predator that is, itself, doomed to cannibalize its own once it hits the carrying capacity of all existence.

Bleak, concrete, and horrific as that may sound, there’s still a “however” here to consider!

Yep, that’s me about to point one of my big fat fingers to the sky and protest- Irk just might be,

Not so Undefeatable, after all!

And not only have I figured out exactly what sort of countermeasure you need to destroy these invaders, I have reason to suspect it’s a plan already long ago set into motion.

Let’s break it down,

An Irksome Achilles’ Heel

True, individually, the bug bastards are irritatingly tough to kill through conventional means. True, collectively, they are nigh impossible to outmatch. And more than most anything else, they owe this tenacity to two things: numbers, and R&D. Possessing some of most state of the art pinnacles in transportation, communications, and military equipment, the Armada found a knack for being able to steamroll most lesser planets before it.

The genius of the individual PAK unit grants each and any one Irken a theoretical path to partial immortality itself, by route of consciousness archiving. I strongly believe that kind of cybernetic progress was also one of the stepping stones that led to the creation of the Control Brains. Nonetheless, this very same strength of the Irkens’ has also proven to be the source of their greatest vulnerability.

Paks, Paks… Oh Paks. The entire race’s civilization revolves around such technology the way we do around our own brains, our own hearts, and our communicative network. For all intents and purposes, and as I’ve gone on about ad nauseum in my other spills about the show, a PAK is all and at once

• Synonymous with the holder of their soul, consciousness, being, whatever you want to call their personhood.

• Able to have their data repurposed by future generations, in the result of an Irken’s permanent death.

• A universal necessity shared by the entire population.

• Susceptible to alterations, sometimes by intelligent enough individuals (as demonstrated by the Zimvoid comic arc), but usually by a Control Brain, directly.

In addition to that last quality, there’s another way the code in a PAK can be changed, for better or worse- Via evolution. Though I am talking about digitized neurology, the actual data in a PAK is a lot more comparable to biological DNA or a “self-learning” AI than it is a rigid computer program. By this, I mean that its code is subject to certain changes over time, perhaps both directed and completely random, particularly during the recycling of its information back into the Smeeteries.

And this is actually good design on the control brains’ part, the same way not reproducing Irkens as genetically identical clones was. Genetic and digital diversity are desirable goals to keep in mind if you want a healthy and versatile stock of workers, engineers, soldiers, and everything in between. We’re talking about highly sentient, highly intelligent, and emotional organisms here. A static drone mindset is going to offer them inadequate ability to adapt to their lengthy life experiences or be unique persons. How else would social mobility have purpose in their world? How else could the cream of the crop rise so far above their peers? That positive was deemed worthy of an obvious risk, however: computational errors.

When the Bugs Get Bugs

 IZ does not clearly lay out what it means for an Irken to be defective, but it gives us a general idea. Defectiveness is not something diagnosed from a code scan for this missing value or that incorrect variable. It’s not judged by one specific character trait or quality that’s abnormal for an Irken to display. “Defective” is a judgement stamp, wielded by the Control Brains when they gauge the total sum value of a life’s contribution to the species. And it’s not one given to Irkens which are merely incompetent, no. Anyone proven to be unfit for their standing is given generous opportunity for redemption or simply reassigned a more suitable occupation. If it were based on likability, we’d have seen Skoodge sent to Judgementia years ago.

Rather, it’s given to those who are viewed as so twisted that they are proven to be an existential danger to their brethren. Irkens that are so destructive to the essence of the collective that their memory must be purged from the record and their identity erased.

I adore the enthusiasm behind fans who want to view this as an analogy for disability or neurodivergence against a conformist society, but the metaphor I’m seeing is one of extreme antisocial behavior. A defective Irken screams less “adhd/autism” to me than they do serial murderers (of their own) or outright traitors. Pardon the use of a gross phrase, but it’d seem we were talking about an Irken equivalent of what the outdated gens would have dubbed the “criminally insane”. No one on screen has ever shown Skoodge or Tak the sort of concern that would get them sent to the Spike of Judgement, but when Zim was in that hot seat? NO one was doubting what his verdict would be.

^ courtesy of “The Trial’s” transcript

I think about the 40 shmillion mistakes a lot.

It’s such a vague quantity. But it sure sounds like a hell of a big one. And what mistakes… what did the lil squirt even have to compare them to? There’s no standard one person an Irken can be. Every presentation of the flaws in that code to the control brains hasn’t ended up a flaw to him.

I only started writing this because I really couldn’t stop thinking about the 40 shmillion. There’s no chronological room for bad self-modding to add up to that so quickly.  DNA replication, nature’s own sloppy and random process of creating new life, can be excused around 120,000 hiccups when duplicating with a 6 billion pair-long protein. But this kind of shuffling is under a futuristic AI’s precise eye. Yes, defects happen, but as bad as him? From birth??? How could you possibly get that many detrimental deviations from the mechanical fucking god-queen(s) of their entire homeworld?

And then it hit me.

You don’t. Not from Irk.

The hot take I’ve been charging for this entire time is thus.

Zim is not defective by any random accident. In fact, I smell the tampering of foreign sabotage.

Not only is this guy the thing his kind fears more than any else, they have every right to be shaking in their stance.

That puzzle i posed at the beginning of this journey, have you seen what I’ve seen yet?

Because the answer I was looking for as to what similarity connects an anthill, a PC, and a city from Greek legend was a most effective tactic for taking them down.

Do you know the best way to deal with a bad ant infestation? Cuz you can lay down all the raid and crushing action you want, but you won’t really be getting anywhere unless you target the pests directly at their queen. To that end, liquid ant baits are marvelous inventions- a sweet substance hiding a small amount of slow acting poison. Poison to be peacefully delivered by the stomach of an ant to the rest of her colony, poisoning her kin, who sicken more members, on and on until the queen is destroyed and the entire nest perishes. An insidious toxin to do all the work while its user never lifts a finger, pretty ingenious.

And when it comes to computers, we also have ways to attack entire networks at source, from quietly and far away. “Trojan” was a category of malware responsible for 64.31% of all cyber attacks on Windows systems in 2022, and they still make up a majority of active malware hits today. The concept is deviously simple. The malicious code is hidden within an innocent looking program, maybe even within a legitimate software that does what it’s supposed to. Once the stowaway is invited into the system, it can get down to it some sneaky, nasty, destructive work on your device. As for what those acts could look like, well, malware exists to do all kinds of things. Mostly something involving trying to get money/information from you or hijacking your computer for whatever its creator wants to use it for. And some of them will just up and wreck your shit, disable your antivirus software to open you up to more infections, disable important operations, wipe your data. Use your imagination.

And as for Troy.. well, where do you think Trojan programs got their name? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, Irkens have their Armada, bionic drones, and homeworld- in other words, the thriving swarm of army ants, the billions to trillions of computers they so rely on, and their nigh untouchable fortress, always at war.

And some damn crafty bastard(s) in the stars said

“Here is their sugar-bait,”

“Here is their cyber attack,”

“Here is their wooden horse.”

And one particular race is going to be getting the last laugh before long.

Nerds That Are GOATed With the Sauce

That’s right, I thought about this all the way through to finding our prime suspect. And let me tell you, NO ONE in the Galaxy reeked of fish like the Vortians did. Get over here and lemme show you my whiteboard with all the red circles and polaroids on it.

- The Means

In a way of tragic irony, Vort has contributed more than any else to the same Irken conquest that turned on them in the end. A natural talent for cutting edge engineering and technical development actually does not seem to be what Irk already came into the ring with. For how mighty and superior they view themselves, the greatest achievements of their military can actually be owed to Vortian outsourcing. When we would have gotten a look at Tallest Miyuki’s very own “finest minds” during her reign, notice something interesting about these guys below,

Zim there is the ONLY Irken to be found! Yes, transferred there because of the punchline explanation of ‘he breaks everything he touches so maybe he’ll have an affinity for weapons research’ but damn right he actually did! And still does; I don’t want it to go unsaid that Zim has shown MUCH more technological skill and innovation than near any other Irken we’ve seen.

Another fun thing to note about this is that Lard Nar was also part of this lineup, and in the transcript he was in the process of working on the blueprints for The Massive. (which leaves you with the cursed knowledge that Zim, Prisoner 777, and Lard were all familiar coworkers long before the events of the show) And that brings me back to what I’m saying about the real reason the Vort natives were enslaved and imprisoned instead of outright sweeped after conquering. The Armada needs their skills, because Vortian advancement is something their own scientists couldn’t come close to. Left to their own devices, Vort could have easily outmatched them at an earlier point in history. It’s a people that figured out infinite power sources and potentially wormhole technology, while PAKs were something a disfigured human tween with a lot of time on his hands was able to crack. If anyone could outpace and outsmart the defensive measures of the Control Brains, it’s going to be them. And what better, cleaner way to sabotage the enemy than from within. 

The very same strings of inserted code that cursed Zim with his delusions, paranoia, lust for destruction, and horrible tactics may also have blessed him with a determination and intellect higher than almost any creature alive. The saboteur gave Irk the most powerful racecar in history, and then fitted it with bicycle brakes. No matter how hard Zim tries to conform to what will give him admiration, no matter how competent he is at keeping himself alive, it’s as if he is instinctually compelled toward whatever actions will cause the MOST damage to his allies in the process. Dib may think he’s the bulwark against the invasion when, ironically, he’s fighting against the one being that’s predetermined to be the arrow that strikes Irken leadership right in their dumb, green heels. (There is also an instance in the comics where Dib figures out that Zim is the ace in the hole for total Irken eradication but that’s another fun story.)

Oh, oh HO HO, and that’s only what he’s capable of doing before the empire’s actual immune system against defects like him wakes up and notices!

Three planetary blackouts, two dead generals, and a whole swath of dead invaders was just the fucking warm up, babey! All that is merely the kind of loud disruption that you need in order to fulfil the real thing this Trojan horse exists for in the first place.

What a celebration of hubris the Spike of Judgement was. Yeah, let’s take our method of filtering the corrupted data from the hive mind, and completely centralize it on a single planet! As well, let’s have the very purging agents also be the same ones to perform the evaluations themselves, I’m sure that it would be unthinkable for any outsider to design a worm that could make it through the brains’ firewalls. Goddamn spectacular. Like inserting an infected USB into your laptop, the Tallest never realized what kind of beast they woke up by plugging that PAK into the Spike’s mainframes. Those brains were meant to handle an expected spectrum of deviation when it came to defective Irkens, never a sleeper virus of this complexity.

From here it probably won’t even matter if Zim survives much longer on Earth, his virus has already spread to the very thing relied upon to keep things like him out of the data pool in the first place. With the Judgementia brains corrupted and no higher authority to overrule them, the firewall is effectively broken, and you know what that means? Bigger cracks for future defectives to start trickling through, both spontaneous and artificial. The ideal scenario is one where a degenerating and glitched population accelerates the incompetency of the empire to the point where it just implodes on itself; nevertheless, even a disease that only slows down Operation Doom could be a game changer, by giving the rest of the little guys more time to band together a coalition strong enough to strike back when the time is right.

- The Motive

The history of these two races’ alliance is something I lament us not having more lore to pull from- how far back it goes, what the character of the Vort was like during that time, what the Irkens had offered in return- a few among dozens of questions it rears.  The implication behind how it ended lies in Zim’s creation that slayed Tallest Miyuki. Interestingly, the Empire never received the memo of what exactly went down, or, perhaps, stubbornly denied the account of the other scientists who were there that day. Neither Red/Purple nor the Judgmentia Brains had any idea that Zim’s actions led to the death of a Tallest. So, makes sense that the Vortians became the unintentional scapegoat (no pun intended) for the incident, and the rest is history.

Note: It’s also in the realm of possibility that Vort was actually the one to withdraw from the alliance instead, given that the same blob that devoured Miyuki (purely the fault of their Irken transfer) also went on to cause untold amounts of devastation. Red’s reaction to the real story stuck out to me as more telling, although.

But why am I even talking about this? Zim was decades old before war was declared on them, and either people’s regard to each other seemed strangely… respectful, if anything.

But, was Vort really a monolithic bunch? Irk was already an empire by this point, and diplomacy with those they needed something from did not mean they weren’t otherwise an aggressive force in the universe. For all we know, the alliance itself might have been coerced, or result of depraved leadership among the Vortians.  Any citizen with a conscience who could see the writing on the walls would be disgusted by giving so much aid and brown nosing to such a menace, no? I know who would have seen that writing before anyone else. Brainiacs who are smart enough to build something like The Massive and all its bells and whistles would know better than anyone just what it was all capable of in the wrong hands. The collateral damage against your own people might be a sacrifice worth making in the face of the alternative.

- The Oppurtunity

So.. that’s all well and good, yeah? A why, and a what, yet this is actually the tricky part of saving the galaxy,

Sneaking your StupidifyIrk.exe file onto the assholes’ homeworld without alerting either them or your own treacherous, weak, collaborator superiors to your actions. Infecting and releasing a random Irken alive would be far too dangerous, far too noticeable to the point where they could just be destroyed outright before given a chance to wreak real havoc.

But what about releasing a dead Irken? 🤔

PAKs are only screened for criminal flaws when errors begin to affect their body’s behaviors in destructive ways. A fully competent scientist, or soldier, or navigator performing a lifetime of loyal service to the empire and then meeting an unfortunate end? Their minds’ shadows can be accepted back into the data pool no questions asked. That’s only business as usual.

That almost makes new smeets something of a reincarnation of their ancestors. Personally, I see it kind of like replaying a video game and re-rolling your stats, even if you’re reusing your character’s name and general play style.

Either way, we come full circle to my theory about Zim’s actual origin. Maybe not “our” Zim, but the previous iteration of data that was shuffled to create his person. Whoever they were, I’m convinced that they were also an exceptional individual. They were probably pretty arrogant, but it was a more earned confidence, and they were a prodigy genius, the likes of which that was drawn to work alongside Vortian allies, as another researcher. Then, an untimely demise befell them. I couldn’t say they fell victim to some unfortunate accident, considering the cockroach durability of their body. No, I find it a lot easier to imagine they met their end in one of the more embarrassing ways for an Irken to die- A PAK stolen, disabled or forcefully detached by an assailant they might have allowed a little closer than they should have. To the homeworld, it’s a small matter. One more PAK recovered by the natives of the friendly planet, brought back home to be repurposed by the smeeteries, right?

Well, that’s what one smartass might have been hoping for.

And they really were a clever cookie, because that scheming seed is fruiting beautifully.

[surfinthehighway]

One of my favorite hobbies recently is asking ChatGPT about Invader Zim things and watching it make shit up.

[hermajestytak]

Really says something about Red and Purple's priotities when all their empire's technology comes from Planet Vort yet "Home of the universe's most comfortable couch" is the title they use for it

[messinwitheddie]

Tallest Miyuki, if you were to successfully launch the massive. What will be the steps for your universal conquest? Any obstacles you want to tackle first? Gonna wage war against the Vortians? Break ties with other allied groups like those bee species? If there are planets with no life forms on it. Would you convert it to your liking? Or just blow it up or leave it alone? When the irkens finally take over the galaxy, what then? You’ve got most species included into the empire as slaves while others are now instinct. Sorry if this is too much to answer my tallest. Just wanna know your pov of this.

Miyuki "... That line of questioning is rather intrusive-- A tallest wouldn't, er, DOESN'T discuss such matters with anyone else besides the control brains or with their top frylords and high generals if need be, BUT I've been dead for what? A century now? Close to a century, roughly? *shrug*

I suppose I could indulge your curiosity.

Sadly, I didn't live to personally watch the official launch of the Massive. My predecessors more or less carried out my plans for conquest. From what information that has been relayed to me, Tallest Red and Purple had launched a series of invasions. Planet Vort has been successfully conquered and the Vortian race is rendered completely subservient to the Irken empire. That accomplishment was towards the top of my list of goals. As repulsive as they are visually, socially and politically, Vortian technology is a staple for improving the quality of life within the Irken empire.

Many of the planets and alien races dwelling on them were flagged for conquest were flagged so strictly for cheap labor. The Mekrob were targeted because they pose the most formidable threat against the scheduled invasions. The Mekrob are a highly intellectually and spiritually advanced species. If left unchecked, they might organize rebellion against us, hence why I marked them as a highly prioritized target.

My goal was the same as any other tallest's-- to expand the Irken empire and maintain the might and glory of the existing territories within the empire.

Young tallests Red and Purple followed the warpath I marked for the most part.

PERSONALLY, I would have launched a stealth opener invasion against the Mekrob BEFORE launching the full-scale ID1 oporation to eliminate the biggest threat.

The Vortians were more of a threat than an ally to us. The Planet Jackers haven't been a threat to us since the treaty between our species was drafted and signed The Inquisitorians and Hymenopteracians are too essential to the fundamental structure of the empire so I honored the Irken alliance between them and us. I would like to think young Red and Purple will honor these treaties too. We Irkens are not heathens. We will not break a treaty unless betrayed or threatened.

If I were to criticize them for their approach to universal conquest, it would be their careless handling of newly discovered planets. A wise tallest does NOT blow up random lifeless planets like smeets with firecrackers. Real estate is a limited resource even in our vast universe. When you find solid rock, YOU BUILD SOMETHING ON IT! You don't blow it up!

But... Red and Purple are in charge now, not me. We shall see how events play out on the timeline ahead.

[random-iz-stuff]

Invader Zim Deathmatch:

ROUND 2, FIGHT 16:

INVADER LARB VS TAK!

The rules are as follows:

1. We’re assuming that both participants actively want and are willing to kill each other unless actively specified otherwise (for example: Chammy Wamboo).

2. The fight must be one on one so no outside help is allowed, but prep time is allowed.

3. The rule for prep time is that if one contestant gets prep time, the other contestant gets an equal amount of prep time as well.

[Masterpost]

Information about both contestants (who they are, powers and abilities, etc) can be found under the cut.

Contestant Stats:

Invader Larb:

��Nap-Lord of the most comfortable couch”

Appearances:

Invader Larb appears or is at least mentioned several times throughout the show and comics

Powers and abilities:

Irken physiology (can lift over 3 times their body weight and is extremely durable)

PAK (PAK legs, PAK lasers, shield generator, all the things an Irken PAK can do)

Elite military training (Larb is an Invader, meaning that he went through irken military training and became an elite soldier before going through Invader training. This means that Larb has the combat skills of an elite soldier)

Invader training (as an Invader, Larb is trained in espionage, stealth, sabotage, and other invader-related things)

Fun Fact (important):

Larb is an extremely successful Invader with a lot of conquered planets under his belt, but it’s worth pointing out that his accomplishments aren’t as impressive as they seem. As pointed out by Zim, Larb got all the easiest planets to conquer (even his initial planet of Vort, despite being extremely important, wouldn’t be that much of a challenge to conquer since Vortians and Irkens were on at least somewhat decently good terms at the time. Larb probably didn’t even need a disguise) and one of the planets in his list of accomplishments (Blorch) wasn’t even conquered by him. Larb’s actual invader prowess is a lot less impressive than it seems, with him conquering a lot of really easy planets and no really difficult ones to essentially pad out his score.

Tak:

“Dirtlord of Dirt with a planned 70 year reign”

Appearances:

Tak appears in the episode “Tak; The Hideous New Girl” and has a cameo appearance in Dookie Loop Horror.

Powers and abilities:

Irken physiology (can lift over 3 times their body weight and is extremely durable)

PAK (PAK legs, PAK lasers, shield generator, all the things an Irken PAK can do)

Elite military training (Tak went through irken military training, but fell just barely short of becoming an elite soldier because she missed the final test. This means that Tak has roughly the combat skills of an elite soldier)

Holograms (Tak has the ability to create holograms, letting her turn invisible and disguise herself. However, we never see Tak affect anything but herself with these holograms, implying that her holograms are limited to just covering her)

Mind Control/Wipe (using her holographic tech, Tak can compel creatures to do things. She can also wipe memories with the same tech. However, creatures of even average intelligence or greater are completely immune to its effects, meaning that it’s only effective on already stupid creatures. Even Zim is immune)

Fun Fact:

Out of universe, Tak is cursed. I mean it. Every time she tries to appear in an Episode/Comic/Movie/etc, something stops her. The show was cancelled before she could appear in any more episodes (which was supposed to happen), a last second animation error kept her out of ETF, copyright issues and Nickelodeon meddling kept her out of all the comics but the last one where she gets a one panel cameo (the same thing happened to Skoodge there). It’s almost like the universe actively doesn’t want Tak to have more appearances.

[emeraldspiral]

More TATR propaganda for the rarepair poll:

Imagine after Tak fails to take Zim's mission she asks the Tallest for another chance, but they laugh in her face for being such a loser she couldn't even beat Zim. So Tak gets the idea that if she can take over a planet the Tallest actually wanted and assigned to a REAL Invader, she can redeem herself.

So she travels to Meekrob thinking Invader Tenn was just a loser who couldn't hack it and she's going to show the Tallest they were wrong for underestimating her. She meets Tenn, who thinks Tak has come to extract her from Meekrob after she lost her means of transport and communication and has been dodging the Meekrobians for months, barely managing to stay alive. At first Tak's plan is just to play along and pretend she wants to help Tenn salvage her mission, but she's really just pumping her for information so she can formulate her own plan. But when she learns that Tenn's mission failed because of a bunch of SIRs going nuts on her, (just like Mimi did when Tak was on the verge of defeating Zim) and sees how resourceful Tenn has been in the face of adversity (just as she had to be to escape Planet Dirt and make her way to Meekrob after getting her ass kicked by Zim) she decides she'll help out Tenn for real. That way, they can both get credit for conquering Meekrob and redeem themselves in the eyes of the Tallest.

The two of them manage to succeed, but then find out that just like Blortch, the Tallest didn't even have a plan for what to do with Meekrob after it was conquered. Not only did they forget what they wanted it for, they forgot they ever even wanted it at all after Tenn's mission was compromised and they wrote it off as "Oh well, you win some you lose some." To rub extra salt in the wound, they give Tak and Tenn both a pity reward to placate them, just like Zim's sandwich. They're both shocked and dismayed that after all the work they put into accomplishing their dreams their victory could feel so hollow and unsatisfying. They can barely process it.

The Tallest don't even know what to do with them now and suggest retiring them from active duty, but they both object to being put out to pasture. The Tallest then suggest some menial task and this causes Tak to snap at them that she wants to be assigned a real mission. But the Tallest have already assigned Invaders to every planet they care about and when they suggest places Tak and Tenn could conquer, it's obvious they're just picking names off the top of their heads like;

"Oh, what about Vort?"

"We've already conquered Vort."

"Okay, how about uh... I don't know, why don't you conquer Aksdjfoi?"

"Is that even a real place?"

"Oh! Oh! I know, how about Plookesia? Home of the universe's most... Uh? I forget, what is it they have?"

"Packing peanuts. The universe's most shock-absorbing packing peanuts. That's what they're known for. The very best for minimizing the risk of damage to fragile items."

"Yes! We must have those peanuts! They're a vital commodity, essential to the continuation of our Empire!"

Tak and Tenn both fake a smile and pretend to graciously accept the honor of being assigned to conquer Plookesia, but they're both dying inside. They head to their ship together and try to cope by deluding themselves into thinking that they'll get all the acclaim and personal satisfaction they were hoping for when they succeed in their mission THIS time around. But en route they both decide "Fuck this" and go AWOL together. If the Empire doesn't give a shit about them or anything that they do, then they're not going to give a shit about the Empire either.

They end up joining the Resisty to get revenge and give themselves a new purpose, but along the way they realize that becoming Resistance heroes isn't what really gives them purpose. They give each other purpose because they see each other's value regardless of any achievements and have learned to fight for each other, rather than their own glory.

So anyway, vote for Space Lesbians in the rarepair tournament!

[edgy-ella]

Here I am yet again with another Invader Zim theory

(Pray I do not make another)

MatPat’s old film theory on the series popped up in my recommended feed on YouTube today, and it got me thinking about something. In case you haven’t seen it, his theory was that Professor Membrane (and by extension, Dib and Gaz) was an alien, an Irken specifically, who had been banished to Earth by the Tallest in order to stop him from usurping their position.

It’s an old and silly theory that can be debunked in four simple words: “where’s Membrane’s PAK?” But like I said, it got me thinking. Instead of focusing on Irken/alien material on Earth, let’s focus on elements of human culture on the other planets we see in the show.

Isn’t it a bit odd how much distinctly human food is seen throughout the series, presumably made and consumed by alien species located several hundred light years away from Earth? Nachos, sandwiches, doughnuts, etc. They all look just like their Earth equivalents too, so presumably they’re one and the same and made with the same ingredients. So by extension, things like sugar, corn, cheese, and lettuce must also exist on Irk.

That wouldn’t be so weird—in fact, you could argue that it’s the show’s way of simplifying alien food into something more recognizable for a human audience and easier understood by younger viewers—except that we do see tons of distinctly alien foods in the show. Zim is seen eating a fun dip-like snack in a couple of episodes, and tons of unique alien foods are both seen and named in the episode where Zim gets sent back to Foodcourtia. So this isn’t just the show using visual language to instantly convey the idea of food to the viewer, there is a clear distinction between “human” food and “alien” food. Hell, there’s even something called a Vort Dog, which looks like a small hot dog with a band around the rim, so there’s even alien variations of human food.

But that’s not all! Shloogorgh's Flavor Monster, the restaurant place Zim is sentenced to work at, looks and functions exactly like a fast food place on Earth. An establishment that caters to multiple, distinct alien races, all with their own needs and cultures, and yet it still has the same old booths, cash registers, and happy mascot costumes you’d find at a MacMeaties or Krazy Taco. The kitchen itself is more automated than their Earth equivalents, but the point stands.

Another thing that stands out is how language is used by the other aliens in the show. Zim presumably has a universal translator built into his PAK (we hear what is likely his untranslated speech at the start of the Mysterious Mysteries episode) and given their military conquest, Irken is presumably the dominant language used by the other alien species in the show. But we see Dib interact with multiple other aliens in the show, all of whom would have no reason to know an Earth language like English. This only comes up a couple times in the show, like with the Plookesians, but is a lot more prevalent in the comics where Dib goes out into space more often. And he does interact with a lot of different species, many of which don’t seem to be under the control of the Irken empire. Dib is never shown to know how to speak Irken (unless Ten Minutes to Doom is canon and he retained that knowledge from when Zim’s PAK was stuck to him), and it’s unlikely that all of the different aliens he talks to would as well. Meaning the only alternative is that they’re all speaking English.

So we see human food, infrastructure, architecture, plumbing, and language scattered throughout the vast reaches of space, both within the Irken Empire and outside of it.

Let’s take that information with some of the stuff that MatPat brought up in his theory.

“I only hope the Irkens just so happen to use the same operating system as me.” Even though this line is meant to be a joke, it really does feel like a smoking gun for a link between human and Irken society and technology. The Irkens did know about Earth, but only as an unspecified mystery planet. Professor Membrane’s continued, staunch denial of aliens is odd considering the literal walking proof right in front of him, not to mention how big of a scientific discovery extraterrestrial life would be. And yeah, some of his technology does resemble the equipment in Zim’s base.

Which brings me to my next point: the Control Brains.

The Control Brains are weird. They have very few appearances in the show and don’t appear at all in the comics, but what little screen time they have tells us everything we need to know about them: they’re giant computers in control of the Irken Empire, responsible for handling everything from Irken reproduction to military affairs to corporal punishment. Their design also implies a connection to PAKs. Make no mistake; the Tallest aren’t in control, these guys are. But they’re machines, they didn’t just come out of nowhere. So who made them?

A lot of this is speculative on my part, I’m sure there’s some decade old interview where Jhonen deconfirms everything I’m about to say. But stick with me here.

I think that the PAKs were made by humans, and that Membrane at least knows about them and the Irkens.

A previous human presence in extraterrestrial territories would explain a lot. It explains why we see so much human food; why the alien restaurants, bathrooms, and prisons look and function so similarly to the ones on Earth, and it explains why everyone in space speaks English. It all originated from Earth. “I only hope the Irkens just so happen to use the same operating system as me,” Irken and human computers are compatible with each other. The Control Brains are giant Irken supercomputers. Ergo, they were likely built on human operating systems as well.

The obvious conclusion here is that they were made by Professor Membrane, but I actually don’t think that’s the case; the Irken Empire has probably been around much longer than Membrane has, no matter how many time warps you throw in. That being said, I think Membrane does know about whatever the origin of all of this was. That’s why he’s so in denial about aliens—he wants to keep his son away from that field of study to keep him safe. He ignores Zim’s plans for world conquest for the same reason Gaz does, “because he’s so bad at it.” Membrane doesn’t see Zim as a threat.

[narklos]

uhh I'm new here what is a Shu'ulathoi? If you don't mind me asking. Is that what Gman is?

A shu'ulathoi is a Combine Advisor (the weird lumpy sacks with the long tongues), but in the language of the Vortigaunts (Vortuguese). Advisors can't understand the language of the Vortigaunts, and so vorts refer to them as "shu'ulathoi' to get around being detected by the Combine.

The theory I personally subscribe to (and is heavily referenced in the Breengrub short story) is that G-Man is one of these shu'lathoi.

Breengrub states that the homeworld of the shu'ulathoi was taken over by the Combine when they were poisoned, making them easy to control. Some shu'ulathoi remained on the planet, hiding away from the Combine in a deep slumber, and "fewer still fled" (referring to the G-Man).

Due to shu'lathoi having such powerful psychic abilities, they're able to turn into almost anything when they hatch. The Advisors we see under the Combine's control are actually still in the larval phase, and are prevented from hatching.

We can infer that the G-Man is therefore a hatched shu'ulathoi who took the shape of a human to seek vengeance for his homeworld. His employers could be the shu'ulathoi that are still sleeping on the homeworld.

His strange mannerisms and talking patterns are due to shu'ulathoi actually being unable to breathe well in Earth's atmosphere (see the Air Exchange and the breathing apparatus that the Advisors wear for more info), and his otherworldly powers come from the incredible psychic abilities that the shu'ulathoi naturally have.

Hope this helps! If I should clarify anything, just let me know!

[spacegoathours]

god I really love my friends I’m gonna ramble a little bit in response to your tags ok thank u

@verm1c1de LMAO I really have to draw nyx more. and scenes with her. there’s just no emotional attachment to her whatsoever oops. the eye colors thing is very early on when Callie is “revived” but Nyx is still very present in the body and there are times Lard Nar is trying to comfort Callie but then Nyx takes a bit more control and fully plans on hurting or flat out killing him so. I don’t have the skillset to illustrate that but PAK legs aiming at his back while he can’t see kinda thing? it looked cool in my head ok???

so that irken was “going to kill him probably”. the very scribbly one of Callie asking Miyuki a question was something about her wanting one of the cool scientist uniforms while she did the rounds on Vort. Miyuki does not think that’s necessary. it’s below her rank

@miniimoose thank u 🥺 again looked way cooler in my head but woooooo I have a whole scene written out where they’re on a planet that’s supposedly neutral ground but this asshole Irken spots Callie n Lard Nar outside a restaurant and confronts them abt their casual demeanor with each other, like no you guys should absolutely be at each other’s throats since you’re Irken and Vortian! and idk Callie gets real pissed bc the Irken threatens Lard Nar’s life or smth idk. this causes a whole chain reaction of angst bc like, Nar thought Callie was different but she’s still violently Irken at her core so 🤷‍♀️

@i-like-pink-lolzz @short-and-ugly you two are the best bc you’re just so confused but you still like my stuff and actually that means a lot to me and you’re SUPPOSED to be confused because I don’t have the time, motivation or skillset to make a whole ass comic or fanfic to make sense of anything LOL. so you get random scenes. and those tend to be the most Going Thru It™�� scenes bc they’re fun!!! only misery for my favs and OCs 💜

anyway I’m just in a talky mood and ilu guys bye

[ms-scarletwings]

Personal Vort Headcanons

(And not as a true essay because really, the show gave out so little in specific details for this race that any real attempt to put together a thorough analysis or theory about them necessarily will arise from or give way to fanon fodder at best. Such freedom and gaps in information remains a blessing and a curse.)

- The modern Vortian people evolved from highly intelligent, predatory ancestors which had to adapt to an erratic, competitive ecosystem. Like Homo sapiens, they once filled a niche as both hunter and the hunted, until the development of primitive weaponry and an apt for problem-solving helped them eliminate their natural predators and claim the mantle of dominant species over their home world.

- This origin coincides with a preferred diet high in protein and calorie-dense foods. It’s assumed that Vort dogs, implied to be a kind of processed sausage, are a culinary signature particularly enjoyed by this species. This suggests that Vortians are likely either obligate carnivores, or opportunistically omnivorous. Such a hypothesis is further supported by their jagged teeth, suited for ripping and tearing animal flesh.

- It is possible that their hornlike appendages might be hollow and serve an important role in their hearing; alternatively, they may actually be blood-rich and act as thermoregulating organs. They are shown to be capable of some degree of movement and functionally help a Vortian emote extreme amounts of stress. It may also be that they continue growing throughout the life of the individual, designating a visible marker of wisdom and age.

- Vort’s inventive history is one filled with hyper militarization, not in the pursuit of war, but in dissuading would-be marauders from the outside, such as the Planet Jackers. Their alliance with Irk was one born of shared commercial and strategic interest: While the Irkens began initially behind the Vort in technological prowess, their sheer numbers, connections with other powerful organizations, and continued expansion throughout the galaxy offered an invaluable level of protection to Vort by virtue of being an ally. On the other end of the table, Irk enjoyed a golden era of prosperity and dominance over their territory, directly fueled by Vortian ingenuity.

- The Vort do not have a binary understanding of gender and are a single-sexed people, reproducing either through the use of technology (like the Irkens) or naturally by some form of parthenogenesis. Evidence available indicates that they have a concept of family units, and Vortian fathers are dedicated parents toward their offspring.

- Pre-Invasion, Vortian society was a technocratic republic which selected out its leader(s) by experience. The appearance and significance of the “universe’s most comfortable couch” leads me to believe that it was a luxury designated for the highest ruling despot of the planet, who was either assassinated or usurped by invader Larb to complete his mission. If Vortian growth continues beyond adulthood, then the couch could theoretically be tailored to seat a single incredibly old, enormous individual. This is an idea that draws inspiration from DBZ’s Namekian society , and their Grand Elder Guru.

- Regarding the end of their connections with the Irken Empire, a severe miscommunication was what led to the diplomatic bridge burning on both sides of the exchange. While it was Irk who blamed the scientists of Vort for the death of Almighty Miyuki, the Vortians had correctly identified an Irken transfer as the true perpetrator of the disaster, and decidedly cut ties in retaliation of what they perceived as an attack instigated by the Empire to justify future aggression.

- Following their civilization being brought to heel by Larb, the majority of escaped Vortians by and large have no real leadership and exist as scattered fugitives across and beyond the Empire. Due to their technological marvels and pride falling into Irken hands, as well as their brutal time within the research prison, most of these escapees have had their wills to rebel against the armada beyond a state of “every man for himself” survival broken. Lard Nar is an exception that many of these peers would probably view as moronic and foolhearty for his endeavors leading The Resisty head-on against the Empire.

- Their thin, wormlike tongues hold vestigial remnants of when they were once used as a tool to feed on small tree or crevasse dwelling arthropods.

- Above all else, Vortian leg structure baffles a human-perspective evolutionary analysis, at least at first. Their legs appear to follow an ungulate-like shape, ending in pointed, stilt-like tips; Earth has no surviving carnivorous ungulates, let alone one that has transitioned into an obligatory biped. Both of the latter concepts alone would make for a most inefficient strategy when working with this leg structure. A bipedal gait would suggest a need for stronger, developed legs to support the whole animal, but the Vortians’ remain almost dainty. Their appearance, intellect, and food suggests a history of hunters and prey, but such a leg structure would undoubtedly leave them horribly equipped for fast sprinting or even stable ground holding against a threat.

Sure, there are some gazelle to observe here that can stand for long periods… to feed on vegetation. There are kangaroos and other digitigrade bipeds… which have adapted counterbalancing tails and other means of stabilizing their gait. None of it could make sense to me until I realized I was thinking far too narrowly. Grasslands are where our hooved things thrive, but they’ve managed in more extreme situations before. No one ever said that Vortians were operating under the rules of Earth’s environments anyway. I mean, what hinderance is a weaker gravity to thinner legs? I’ve been thinking at this like a dumb primate that went from an arboreal ancestry to endurance running over long stretches of plains, but what if the people of Vort didn’t follow such a path?

It’s come to my best guess now that Vortians originated not from distance runners, but exceptional climbers.

Performing meme necromancy aside, consider the humble ibex or mountain goat. Fascinating animals for sure, seen not only scaling damn near vertical cliff sides, but able to nimbly navigate up at down them about as easily as they scamper over flat ground, and all for the sake of a good salt lick. How on earth does something tiptoeing on a hoof pull that off? The first neat trick up their sleeve is that it’s a very specialized, split hoof in fact- Cloven toes and rough inner pads that allow them to really grip onto the rock surface, even amid strong gales and other harsh alpine weather. Vortian forelimbs have taken this to the next step, aiding them with a dexterous upper grip as well, equally fit for higher tool use and traversing heights. A less visible adaptation that mountain goats also utilize is their enlarged inner ears, which provide them an incredible innate sense of balance and coordination over their relatives. It’s absolutely a possibility that the organs on a Vortian’s head may even play some similar, if not well understood advantage on this front as well. Alongside the development of their larger skulls and and sapient-like intellect, their evolution spared no waste to giving them a sure-footed agility. And this lifestyle needn’t have been for the soul sake of licking rocks, for we’re free to interpret what we may about the threats and prey that old Vort was packing. Under this idea I’d like to think that the first Vortians congregated in tribal packs like early anthropoids, but taking to the cliffs, or maybe even the trees as their prowl. From higher vantage points they could both elude larger predators as well as feed upon all manner of smaller life forms they could pluck off of the rocks and out from hidden crevices. If larger game was an option, it was likely either scavenged, or taken down collectively, the whole group enacting a precise ambush from above.

[gooeygummi]

I've been dragged into an Invader Zim fixation and have designed my own OCs; Vi (she/her), Ilo (he/him), and Itt (itt/itts)!

Info on them is below the cut!

Vi is an invader who was in a similar but slightly better siutation as Skooge. She was sent to a planet that was initially deemed "highly dangerous" for her kind, but through successful infiltration was able to survive and conquer the planet, becoming their "leader." The inhabitants became slaves to the Empire shortly after, and the planet became an asset in gathering raw materials (particularly for snacks) for the army. Because of her success, she was granted the opportunity to continue overseeing the planet and its operations.

Ilo is a former Irken Pilot who became traitorous shortly after the appearance of the Resisty. Though very military-oriented, Ilo sometimes thought back on the planets he and other pilots were ordered to put under "Organic Sweeps" and sometimes felt a sense of regret. This feeling eventually became overwhelming when he and others who were a part of the Armada were ordered to put the planet of Vort under the same attack, and it was then he realized he needed to find a way out. He saw his opportunity for escape upon learning of the Resisty, and left the armada with his ship while his fellow pilots attempted to reunite with the Massive.

Itt is an Irken scientist whose experiments are quite questionable, to say at the very least. Itt is very quiet, but if itt is persuaded to talk, itt will talk your ears/antenae off in a slow, precise way. Itt is also heavily dedicated to itts work, and was once even captured by an enemy army only to continue itts work while a prisoner without much bother.

[thunderclaw100]

Bio: Nixy is the daughter of tallest Red and Eva and the third born of her siblings. Unlike her older brother, Jovian, she doesn’t take ring a halfbreed to heart. Nixy knows she’ll be treated differently, and is aware of the discrimination she and her siblings face. Nixy is a smart girl and has proven this in many way, including ring very calculating. When she was little, her mother found her toying with one of her inventions. As it turns out, Nixy actually improved it. Eva has her studying with her older sister, Bellatrix. Learning the culture of planet Vort. She’s very interested in learning more about her mother’s background. Once can believe it or not but Nixy is a genius in her own right. Given a tablet of her own from her mother, she was able to use it to her own advantage. Hacking, converting, designing, encoding. She’s using her vortian side they most and it’s leaving her with good results as she grows. Nixy’s interested in science and genetic research ever since she and her siblings learned that their father was made in a smeetery back on planet irk. Her mother sees this as a sign to get her involved with the nautralian’s lab training so that she can explore this passion of hers. Out of her siblings, Nixy has doesn’t have the best of eyesight.

That being part of her vortian side. Eva told her that some of her people have that same issue and there is reason why most wear goggles now. Her mother did offered her glasses but instead, Nixy made her own. Using the material sand soil for the lenses as well as adding other things to make it notes useful to her. Like night vision, zooming, sensing heat signatures, and she might add a laser beam for it. Nixy could be a pilot navigator but is still thinking about what she want to be when she grows up. Her mother gave her a few ideas to think over. Some that seems fitting for a vortian. Nixy wants to be accepted the way she is instead of being judged because of who her father is.

Likes: Her family, stargazing, snacks, studying, working on her tablet, her parents, vegetables, camping, video games, backing cupcakes, her crush.

Dislikes: filthy things, rude insults, fake people, being told she’s not good enough for anything, stupidity.

Personality:Lovable, benevolent, cheerful, talkative,diligent,devoted, generous, impatient.

*RELATIONSHIPS*

Eva: Her mother helped her out a lot when she was little. From moving Nixy past her own insecurities to improving her poor vision. Her mother walked her though the knowledge of her vortian side, and telling her all the good contribution her people made for themselves and other aliens they’ve allied themselves with. Accept for the irken race. During times when her mother was going to be exposed for harboring a fugitive, tallest Red. Nixy helped her out by messing with the wanted poster images and putting cryptic locks on their home security. Eva is the one person she would never cross.

Tallest Red: Meeting her father for the first time was a shock to her. Nixy was the first out of her siblings to make him feel welcome. Even going so far as to jump into his arms to hug him. Red was unsure about this whole family thing, and Nixy learned that her father is a clone made in a smeetery factory back on irk, so his father skills need work on. This cloud on improving his other lack of emotions that are not implanted into his pak system. Even after being told about who tallest Red really is and all the horrible things he’s done to others. Nixy still wants to bond with her father. Just like the rest of her siblings.

Bellatrix: She admires her older sister. Not because she resembles their mother a lot! One would say, Bella keeps the peace among her siblings with gentle or firm words of knowledge . A trait she’s got from Eva. During their earlier years, Nixy and her sister snuck out of their mother’s nest to explore a little. Bella found a rare neutralien crystal gem and kept it. It’s been used for her her own inventions and experiments. Nixy learns a lot when she’s with her sister. Bella can handle tough situations than she can. During a pak malfunction, Nixy was in a state of panic. It was her older sister who came and fix the problem. Adding a new function to the pak’s system that’ll prevent internal bugging. Bella takes care of her whenever she’s feeling down or upset. It’s hard not to call her mom when she does this.

jovian: It can’t be helped to say that he’s a thorn in her side sometimes. Like the rest of their siblings, Jovian’s reckless antics is an eyesore to the family.l and needs to be scolded. Nixy isn’t in favor of her older brother fighting himself to be better at everything. Jovian would often show up after a hard self disciplined training session with blood and bruises all over his body. Nixy can’t even count the times she had to restitch his outfits. She only covered for him him once when their mother demand what happened to him the first time he started this. Never again. She regrets it every time a new scratch our black eye shows up on her brother’s face. Other than this, Nixy and Jovian get along just fine. They are the dynamic duo. Teaming up to concur anything. This sort of happened when they were young little smeets, playing round in their mother’s nest with. They would team up against Bellatrix and Orieon to climb to the top of their mother’s head as a sort of “king of the mountain game.” She was also involved with him getting custom made pak from their mother. She thought of having different colors would be nice for a change. Seeing she learn that the majority of irken have everything match the same. Nixy’s most recent argument with Jovian was about him wanting to leave planet Neutra and explore the universe. What frightened her more was that he thought of visiting planet irk. It only took a few insults and a stream of tears to get him to stay.

Orieon: Her younger brother. He used to be the quiet one in their litter and was the last to leave the nest. It was Nixy and Bellatrix that got him to be more talkative and outgoing. Nixy noticed that her brother seems to be growing a lot faster than the rest of them. With their mother, began to keep tabs on his growth. Eva noticed his behavior patterns are almost at a match with tallest Red, and that was something to be concerned about later in the years. After having installed their custom paks, Nixy helped her brother get the hang of using his pak legs. She even saved him once, after one of them went haywire and was about to stab him in the chest. In fact she’s the one monitoring all of their paks with her tablet. Orieon appreciates Nixy and thanked her for tolerating him.

Dib: Nixy has grown interested in the human. Partly because she wants to examine him or ask a lot of questions about space, or his relationship with an Irken. Zim’s voot cruiser also caught her eye at the time. Nixy, like her older brother, wants to learn more about their Irken heritage, so they asked Zim. The human boy shared some info about what’s going on in space. Letting Nixy know that there is a brave vortian out there, risking his life as well as his team to make sure planets like theirs are safe from an invasion. At first Nixy thought that humans were uneducated and so far back behind from the res of the universe, that they’d wouldn’t bother to explore outside their own solar system. Or not even to make trading partner ls with other, more advanced planets. For a moment, Nixy was thinking like an Irken. Believing that other inferior races should just give in to the stronger ones. Dib made it clear to her and the other kids that being stronger doesn’t make you better than others because there will always be someone out there better than you. Before Dib and Zim depart from planet Neutra, she gave them a gem. Both something to remember her by and for great use in forging into something powerful.

Zim: When he and Dib landed on the outskirts of the neutralien’s refugee camp, they were following a distress signal which lead them to Eva and her children. Jovian found and brought them home with him. Nixy and her other siblings were amazed to see another Irken, other than the other two that are part of the camp. Zim proudfully told the kids about Irken culture, the empire, the function of the paks, and the ranked jobs of the Irken military. Nixy took notes of everything being said to her from him. Asked her own questions, including one that kinda caught him off gourd. She wanted to know if he’s a defective. This didn’t trigger much, other than a slight bias and a displeasing look from Zim. The young hybrid wonders if the reason for the defectivness is the park, she suggested that Zim just fix it himself or Chang ethe encoding while cutting off links to the possible downgrade that will automatically change his functional character. Zim never met anyone THIS young being able to speak this logical and smart. Nixy sees a friend in Zim and possibly a god father.

*EXTRA*

•She made an Irken uniform in inspiration of Zim.

•Nixy likes to analyze people and her work.

• Just like her brother, she’s a brainiac.

• Her mother surgically enhanced her poor vision.

• She likes to make silk fabrics for her family.

• She’s partially colorblind to some colors. That’s another reason why she got the surgery from Eva.

•Nixy gotten used to wearing neutralien

• Is afraid of horror movies but likes sci-fi films.

•Just like her mother, Nixy grooms her horns.

• Nixie and Bellatrix are the ones with four fingers.

•Nixy and Orieon both have a crush on an neutralien.

*DIALAUGE*

“I never liked being called a know it all. I am smarter than most kids my age but I don’t see myself as anyone too intelligent to be important.”

“I didn’t tell my littermates about this but….I have poor eyesight. Mom said that it’s normal for some vortian’s to have this problem due to having smaller eyes. I had to wear ugly glasses for a while. In secret, mom got to do surgery on my eyes to improve them.”

“The Neutraliens we’re pretty decent with me and my family. I only hope the other aliens who took residence here would be more accepting. Some of them are think that me and siblings are a curse.”

“You are so hard-headed, Jovian! You’re not going to succeed our father. Get a fucking clue!”

“These schismatics are amazing! It’s exactly what I need to improve our custom paks.”

“HEY! I may be an nuisance to you but I’m still a kid!”

“When in doubt, try a different approach!”

“Are they going to send us away? Why did that tall man get us in trouble, momma?”

“Doesn’t it shock you that our father is the leader of the most threatening race in the galaxy? The tallest of the Irken empire. Just try and Top that!”

“I want to make a difference in this place once I’m older. We’ll have to contribute to it one day. I hope that our father’s reputation doesn’t ruin it for us.”

[messinwitheddie]

Vortian Minstrel, when did you started working for tallest Pepperoncini? When did the irkens take you in and how are those three babies of yours doing? What did you do after Cini died? Did you reassign to another position? Carry on to work for tallest Lich? Or did you retire or something?

(I haven't had a good excuse to draw Sow-Urr or Vortian minstrels in general. Appreciate this :D Wish I had time to sketch more for this.)

Sow-Urr "Hagg-Huss, my spouse, and I were armada vessel mechanics assigned to the same pitcrew of a few dozen other Vortian mechanics. We both happened to share a love of traditional folk music and dedicated our minor studies on the subject. Truthfully, we were not bonified minstrels, just university enthusiasts.

We were originally hired for the Viral flagship fresh after graduation. Our pitcrew did inspections on the ship; performed maintenance, repairs, apply upgrades if need be and all the like... Rudimentary laborers; that's all we were. Low in rank, but we enjoyed the work and making music during downtime.

When we lived and trotted, Irk and Vort were allies. Late Cini went to great lengths to keep the peace between the Irken empire and the Vortian technocracy. Our planets and species prospered despite the aftermath of recently ended plague wars. The future looked so bright; so promising...

One day, after a successful, productive meeting with our triumvirate, Cini retreated to his personal chambers. Hagg-Huss and I were jamming out during a scheduled union break down a nearby hallway. Cini must of overheard us and I guess he REALLY enjoyed our music. Ever since, he regularly requested us to perform for him.

We couldn't refuse, even if we wanted to. Amateurs like us to be be requested to perform exclusively for an Irken tallest, especially one as jovial as Cini... that's an honor we never in cosmic infinity expected to be offered to us.

Once our bleaties were born, we had to give up being minstrels for a while in favor of steady, reliable tech work. Cini was very understanding. He wished us and our growing herd well.

When news reached Vort of Cini's passing, we were devastated. Our occupations were not compromised, but we feared for the futures of our bleaties. Cini's predecessor, Lich, made it clear his political policies concerning Vortian and Irken relations would become hostile and predacious. The Irken empire relies heavily on Vortian technology, but they outnumber us by the shmillions and their territories stretch across the greater galaxies. Against better judgment and morals, the technocracy succumbed to the Irken agenda. Our bleaties and their bleaties and there bleaties are paying for it now.

The future of Vort looked bleaker with every Irken-sponsored news stream...

By the time our bleaties were grown, fully educated and entering occupations in their chosen fields of study, Lich had died in the final battle for Hobo13 against the Planet Jackers. Tallest Miyuki had been measured in his place. She actively worked to reestablish the good, cooperative relations our species had built with Irkens in the past... or so we passed away believing this to be true.

We are both relieved we died shortly before witnessing the launch of oporation Impending Doom and Impending Doom II... it pains us to know our fellow Vortians are facing genocide by Irken talons all because we lied to ourselves for too many generations...

We never pressured our bleaties to devolope an interest in performing old Vortian folk music as we had. Proud to say. the three of them grew up to surpass our contributions to the technocracy; Architect, Engineer, Programmer they trotted on to become... and their bleaties surpassed them. Most of them grew up to be military research scientists. At the time, our musical passion-hobby seemed frivolous. ..but in retrospect, maybe we should have encouraged them to sing and play. The songs of our ancestors may never be sung again if the Irkens wipe us put completely...

Silence is so oppressive. Hagg-Huss and I will gladly play for you, if you have any requests.

(Sorry this is a downer)

[random-iz-stuff]

Invader Zim Deathmatch:

[Round 1, Fight 7]

INVADER LARB VS “MARY” AND “FRED”!

The rule for prep time is that if one contestant gets prep time, the other contestant gets an equal amount of prep time as well.

[Masterpost]

Information about both contestants (who they are, powers and abilities, etc) can be found under the cut.

Contestant Stats:

Invader Larb:

“Nap-Lord of the most comfortable couch”

Appearances:

Invader Larb appears or is at least mentioned several times throughout the show and comics

Powers and abilities:

Irken physiology (can lift over 3 times their body weight and is extremely durable)

PAK (PAK legs, PAK lasers, shield generator, all the things an Irken PAK can do)

Elite military training (Larb is an Invader, meaning that he went through irken military training and became an elite soldier before going through Invader training. This means that Larb has the combat skills of an elite soldier)

Invader training (as an Invader, Larb is trained in espionage, stealth, sabotage, and other invader-related things)

Fun Fact (kind of important):

Larb is an extremely successful Invader with a lot of conquered planets under his belt, but it’s worth pointing out that his accomplishments aren’t as impressive as they seem. As pointed out by Zim, Larb got all the easiest planets to conquer (even his initial planet of Vort, despite being extremely important, wouldn’t be that much of a challenge to conquer since it’s revealed in The Trial that Vortians and Irkens were on at least somewhat decently good terms until recently. Larb probably didn’t even need a disguise) and one of the planets in his list of accomplishments (Blorch) wasn’t even conquered by him. Larb’s actual invader prowess is a lot less impressive than it seems, with him conquering a lot of really easy planets and no really difficult ones to essentially pad out his score.

“Mary” and “Fred”:

“Begin The Fusion!”

Appearances:

Mary and Fred appear in the episode “Abducted”, appear in one of the quarterly comics and make a cameo appearance in “Dookie Loop Horror”

Powers and abilities:

Numbers advantage (there’s two of them, but they count as one contestant)

Keen sense of smell (one of them was able to smell Zim in the vents, implying that their species has a keen sense of smell)

[Weakness] Completely useless (Mary and Fred are both completely incompetent, stupid, and have shown themselves to be completely incapable of fighting at all, only being able to pathetically grab at an escaping Zim without even attempting to move closer)

Fun Fact:

Their theme goes WAY harder than it reasonably should.

Additional Thoughts:

Hydrogen Bomb vs Coughing Baby

[emeraldspiral]

Okay, so post-Florpus the Tallest are stuck in the Florpus, presumed dead, but may or may not actually be dead and capable of getting out eventually. But it doesn't matter because the absence of the Tallest, the Massive, and the Irken Armada means there's no one to enforce the colonization of the planets recently conquered by the Irken Empire. So not only did Zim single-handedly stop OIDII dead in its tracks, he may have actually helped to liberate all the already conquered planets, which means that if/when the Tallest ever escape the Florpus they're going to find everything OIDII accomplished undone by Zim's actions.

What's worse for the Irken Empire is that even if the Massive and the armada are still intact and ready to retake their colonies with OIDIII, the Voritians are now among those liberated colonies. So not only have they lost Vort as an asset, they now have it as an enemy that knows all of their weaknesses and has had time to prepare new weapons designed specifically to counter their arsenal.

But considering Voritians had an alliance with Irk and were designing weapons and ships for OIDI before being conquered, Zim's actions may not exactly be heralding an era of peace across the galaxy. Before being subjugated by Irk, the Vortians were likely expecting to be the ones doing the subjugating alongside them, and once the Irken Empire is out of the way, what's to stop the Vortians from resuming their own plans for galactic conquest?

[gordon-furman]

what do your ocs want the most?

sally- though she's very expressive on the outside, she only exhibits positive emotions and she keeps a lot of insecurities/fears/doubts to itself. this makes her wants often not known to anyone, even Jack. But her ultimate desire is to be accepted by the vortigaunts (she feels very alienated from them due to her being altered, her trauma, and the fact community matters very much to her AND the vorts) and otherwise for everyone it loves to live happy and fulfilling lives.

jack- this is such a good and funny question for jack bc. jack's whole character arc is that she feels purposeless and directionless. they feel stuck on Earth and stuck fighting the Combine for what it thinks might be forever. I guess it can be said that at first what Jack desires most is change, and at the end...well, let's just say the climax of the story is jack finding out what he really wants.

tiger- ok this one is complicated. on surface level it's clear that Tiger just wants to perpetuate it's colony's desires in conquering planets. Everything he does is in the name of eventually bringing more shock troopers to Earth and doing almost exactly what the Combine does but THEIR way. Basically the Colony's wants are Tiger's wants. It's a soldier m.i.a. from everything she's ever known, alone in a hostile world who sees the glory and potential of returning home a warrior with a promised planet. It wants to go home. And to not be alone. At any means necessary.