#planet of the megafaunas

[cosmica-galaxy]

It’s been awhile, got busy with the holidays but I made something while I could.

It's fine! I think everyone got busy with the holidays as of late! AKSDJDLFJGH But as always, your art is so funny and good, Bloodybloob!!! Plus, it's true. Blue would have more friends if he wasn't so aggressive to others...and rude as well. XD Also, I adore Red's face! XDD

[slimynematode]

THE ELECTRONIC YET PALEOLITHIC GARDEN OF EDEN BEARING FRUIT UNTOUCHED BY OVERGROWN MEGAFAUNA OF FUTURES PAST

[whimsicmimic]

once again thinking about The Worms and the greater lore implications wrt zazie my best friend zazie

[morriscribbles]

the fastest way to make an entire room of Merzennians really nervous is for this old fuck to grin really wide slowly and quietly

[nounpolycule]

For the record, I personally only accept public disagreement with me about female characters being attracted to women if it comes with a receipt from donating to The Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation attached.

[princessnijireiki]

anyway our CNS & brains are pretty complex, like we've barely figured out getting people with partial spinal cord damage back driving their own bodies + when we do it's still a roll of the dice & the processes are not all well understood... encephalitis can caused locked-in-ness like with sleeping sicknesses, akinetic mutism, etc where the body itself is not physically incapable of movement & action, but nothing is out there that jumps in and takes over from a driver who's paralyzed or asleep at the wheel... that's not actually a thing, it's fun speculative fiction but not representative of reality— so really, no worries lol

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I don’t know if I’m terminally online (I haven’t gotten out much all winter tbh) or if I just get stressed about online “debates”, but whoever said that “phones never appear in our dreams” is wrong. I woke up twice thinking someone replied to a comment I made yesterday with something weird, only to realize that I had not actually grabbed my phone off my nightstand, checked it, and then fallen asleep again

[foone]

A world of friends

In the late 2030s, a research lab discovers how to travel to alternate earths. And what's even better, they've figured out how to best monetize it too: tourism.

See it turns out there's not a lot of variation. There's a nearly infinite number of earths, but it's not like you're traveling to an alien planet or Narnia. They're all pretty... Earthy.

And they turn that into a positive: all earths are similar, but the small differences are what counts. And they're always searching for worlds with interesting divergences from our own, as potential destinations.

Spend a weekend with Netflix on the world where Walter Disney became a little-known architect, and the face of children's media is completely different. Visit the world where the US Revolution failed, and most of the Americas remains part of the commonwealth.

Safari through the world where humans died out or never evolved, see the megafauna we weren't around to extinct.

The world where the planet's population is 97% Christian but they're also nudists because they associate nudity with the innocence of the Garden of Eden.

And if you're looking for a challenge, visit the world's where climate change has already melted the ice caps, the world's where the cold war went hot, the world where the first world war is also the last one, and it's still ongoing.

There's just one minor problem with their plan of setting up an industry to portal people to other worlds:

Someone else is already using it.

Their interdimensional tech relies on creating wormholes using a complex arrangement of superconducting magnets and there's a characteristic burst of neutrinos when the event horizon forms.

They have to monitor them to properly "aim" the wormhole, but their early work is thrown off by seeing spurious emissions coming from outside their facility, which they later realize are exactly matching their technology.

They're just seeing the wormholes from the other end.

They partner with a government agency, explaining their discovery, and express worry that the country (and the world!) may be getting infiltrated by an off world power.

They build sensors in major cities, and triangulate where the off-worlders are appearing, and follow them.

They seem harmless enough. Often skittish, taking lots of pictures, asking odd questions... These aren't security agents or an invading force.

They're just tourists. They're from another world's interdimensional tourism business. One that set up before ours.

But why are they here? What's so odd about our world among the trillions they have access to that makes them come here with cameras fully loaded with film and memory cards?

The security agents pour over surveillance tapes of them wandering around random cities, and finally spot (no pun intended) why they're here.

It's dogs.

The tourists are skittish around seeing people walking their dogs, they're taking pictures of corgis and greyhounds, they're visiting petstores and ignoring the cats and iguanas and tropical fish to go look at the most boring mutts, eyes full of wonder and fear and excitement...

One of the tourists is picked up by the security services, but hits their panic button and vanishes before they can be questioned. They leave behind a Daguerre Inc 2090 DSLR camera full of slightly blurry photos of dogs, and a pamphlet that fell out of their bag in the scuffle

The pamphlet is for this interdimensional vacation, and describes the weirdness of our world: The strange universe where humans somehow befriended wild wolves and let them into their homes and lives.

The pamphlet plays up the scariness of canines, showing Tibetan mastiffs and angry pitbulls biting into meat. Police dogs with titanium teeth replacements. There's very few pictures of chihuahuas and corgis and poodles.

So the next time you're at an animal rescue or a petting zoo, and you see someone looking on in fear and wonder at the amazing sight of a golden retriever puppy, their camera shutter clicking away...

Maybe ask them who the president is. And what year we landed on the moon.

And don't be too surprised if they answer "You mean the Prime Minister? It's still Thiers, right? I haven't been reading the papers much recently. And 1956, unless you're one of those pedantics who say it only counts if it was successful, in which case 1958"

(reposted from a twitter thread from 2022)

[st-just]

10-year-old-me got over their disappointment over dragons not being real by deciding komodo dragons were the next best thing and devouring every bit of available trivia about them, which is convenient because it turns out they are just objectively the coolest megafauna on the planet.

[evolutionsvoid]

Anything can be an ecosystem, it is just a matter of nutrients and consistency. So often we think that habitats are things that only exist outside our walls, where civilization hasn't fully taken hold. Some folk think we sapient species live completely separate from the natural world, that our lands are omitted from everything else. To them, there is a clear line between what is "nature" and what is "civilization" and once you cross those boundaries, the other ceases to be. But in truth, it is all connected, and our homes are a part of the system like everything else. A city may seem vastly different from any other habitat on the planet, but it is still an ecosystem nonetheless. We are but the fauna running about within, and one of the species that thrives in it. And to the shock of some, there are other creatures that do incredibly well in these man-made habitats, finding living within them just as comfortable as we do.

Sewers and dumps don't seem like much but areas of pure filth, but there is still nutrients to be found. Just because we don't eat the stuff doesn't mean it is useless. Look at the dung beetle, an insect that lives off of fecal matter. While a sewer would be a vile land for us, it would be a paradise to such a coprophage. Things in the wild feed off of waste, it is a natural thing. So when we make areas that are nothing but filth, then some species flock to it, seeing an endless buffet. The Otyugh is one such creature.

When one first sees an Otyugh (probably in illustration over real life), it may be hard to wrap your head around what it actually is. The anatomy seems all over, with arms, legs and heads starting to blur together. Some would claim they are a three-legged species with two tendril arms and a large eye stalk, which is an understandable mistake. The Otyugh is hard to decipher as it moves and feeds, and its anatomy changes depending on the situation. In truth, it is actually a large echinoderm, one that possesses six limbs. Two of these arms are sensory, while the other four are designed for feeding, manipulation and moving. All six have sensory organs for smelling and tasting the world around them, but only two have prominent eyes. These organs are much stronger on these limbs, versus the crude eyes on the others that can only tell between light and dark. All arms work together to help the creature move and feed, though hunting for food isn't exactly a challenge for an Otyugh.

As I made clear, this species is one that feeds entirely on waste, finding poop and filth quite delicious. It isn't just feces, it is anything rotting, foul and discarded that they eat. Their central mouth is a complex arrangement of grinding plates, shredding teeth and potent acid, all designed to consume absolutely everything that gets shoveled in. They are the cleanup crew of the world, like all scavengers, and will erase any detritus or corpse that has been left behind. They are practically immune to poison and disease, devouring plague ridden carcasses without worry. They are essential creatures to areas rife with rot, which is why they have found their way to humanity's sewers.

Otyugh are a species that originally relied on dragons and other megafauna to survive. Their vast amounts of waste gave the Otyugh sustenance, and thus they were commonly found near dragon lairs. Small creatures don't offer enough for such large beasts, but that changed when some species started stockpiling their filth. When the Otyugh caught wind of humans creating places specifically for waste and trash, they were quick to move in. Here was another consistent source of food, in a place that seemed tailor made to them. At first, people were repulsed, but then they realized if they didn't want the Otyugh there, then they would have to go down there and drive them out themselves. Suddenly, no one was complaining anymore.

While most folk don't bother with these creatures, times do come where people do confront them. I know in some big fancy cities, they don't like the image of a giant poop eating seastar dwelling below, so they got the bright idea of getting rid of them. In other cases, their population gets out of control and they start looking for extra sustenance in face of all this competition. Whichever the reason, trying to drive one out or fight it will quickly make you regret your life choices. Otyugh may be sewage suckers, but they can be extremely dangerous. Their tendrils are dexterous and thorny, capable of whipping them with deadly force. Their limbs are many, allowing them to attack from many angles and continue the battle should they lose one or two. The maw in the center of it all is an "everything-grinder," which can reduce an armored warrior to juice if they get too close. On top of all that is the fact that they are dripping with filth and vileness, which can lead to nasty infections or sickness should one be exposed. Sometimes slayers will succeed in killing an Otyugh, only to succumb to a horrible rotting disease weeks later from a mere scratch they had received. In most cases, fighting them is straight up not worth it. It should only be a last resort, for when the Otyugh start spilling out from their sewer homes and begin eating "fresher" things.

To go back to that earlier mistaken description, of a beast with "three legs, two arms and one eye stalk," there is a reason that was a common belief. When Otyugh are feeding, they are laying down in the ocean of filth, positioned like any seastar you would see on the coast. Mouth down, arms out, just enjoying life. When buried in this waste, you can't really see them. Their bodies are colored and designed to fit in with piles of manure and disgust around them (as if anything would want to eat them), and thus folk miss them most of the time. However, when threatened, the Otyugh will rear up to look much larger and expose its pulverizing maw. This is done by using three tendrils for support, like legs. Two feeding limbs are flailed about in a threatening manner, while a sensory tentacle is held high for it to see its attacker. Now that it has made itself obvious and known, people start paying attention. This is why that description became commonplace, as these postures were how folk even got to see them most of the time!

A funny thing to note is that humans are probably way more familiar with the Otyugh than dryads. Honestly, it was a while before I even got to see one myself! This is because dryads collect and compost their waste at home, making sewer systems rare in our towns and cities. Due to large efforts to recycle and reuse, we don't have large areas of the stuff for an Otyugh to settle in. This isn't meant to be a dig at humanity, more just a neat observation. I will say that some dryads made a business of utilizing an Otyugh to rapidly breakdown substances and objects a normal household couldn't properly handle. It is like a rapid transformation of waste into fertilizer, for those who don't want to wait. Bring your junk to these places, let the Otyugh eat it and get its fertile expulsions in return. An odd business, but it seems to be working pretty well! Of course, there are also rumors that some of these establishments earn the real coin from folks who want certain "somethings" to "disappear..."

Chlora Myron

Dryad Natural Historian

-----------------------------------------

"Otyugh"

While this entry is written by Chlora, it is one that I would say is not canon. Mainly because I know the DnD company is incredibly litigious and not fans of their stuff being used anywhere else. I mainly drew this thing up because I thought it would be fun and the entry was me exploring the "what if" scenario.

But hey! An Otyugh that is an echinoderm! Hmm. Like a big ol seastar! Hmmm! Perhaps like a starfish! HMMMMMM!

[lesbianralzarek]

yeah, moose are huge and all but the size difference between a moose and a human is nothing compared to the size difference between a human and the vast majority of life on earth. humans are megafauna on a planet filled with mice and fish and rolly pollies and thats not even counting microscopic lifeforms. theres a reason why getting mad small and going on an adventure is generally more interesting in fiction than growing to godzilla size and doing... what exactly? theres a million things on those lower registers, but humans are kinda already in the biggest category. it seems silly to put us in the same size register as whales until you remember ants cant see anything above your mid-thigh from the ground

[cosmica-galaxy]

I love harmless misunderstandings.

I find the idea of Red struggling to come to grips that yes, the warden is a civilized, intelligent life form and no, you can’t go around petting them like a pet, both funny and a little sad, but mostly funny. Though honestly, I can see most struggling with that leap in logic given humans are aliens that are less advanced, so in their brains they may associate them as lesser, even if they might know better.

The warden I think might over think the situation because they want to be accommodating and so participate in the crewmates attempts to get a reaction out of them by trying to respond to whatever is happening, and it comes out as weird and a little awkward but they’re trying.

AW!!! I ADORE THIS IDEA, BLOODYBLOOB! The human would just be like a puffin. Mimicing their companions to try and "fit in" just a little bit more or try to understand their culture. So they just copy the little aliens sometimes in hopes it means something positive. Plus, all of the characters are spot on in personality! Red even tries to ride the warden at one point. XD Amazing art as always!!! <: D

[headspace-hotel]

After reading lots about Mycorrhizal Networks and Trees and Bryozoans, I believe intelligent extraterrestrial life might be far more different from us than we assume.

It is so common to be stationary and fixed in place as an organism, I think aliens might not be able to grasp the concept of "travel," let alone space travel.

Communication is another difficulty. Would an organism adapted to communicate by chemical signals or by simply being linked physically to other organisms be able to comprehend the idea of sending messages between stars?

And then there is the issue of scale.

Organisms the size of, for instance, bees would take so long to establish a global/planet-wide communication, travel and trade network that progressing to interest in space travel might prove impossible.

As life forms go, humans are incredibly large. We are megafauna. The vast, vast majority of all living things on earth, even counting only multicellular things, are smaller than a human. It is deeply out of the ordinary for us to be so big.

This means that the spread of human populations, the impact of humans on their environment, and the ability of humans to communicate with each other over long distances progressed much, much faster than it would have if we were more average in size.

But it would also be detrimental if we were larger. The larger the creature, the harder it gets physically not only to overcome the gravity of your planet, but to create any type of transportation that can move you faster than you can move yourself.

The bigger you are, the more economical it becomes to either be in water or not move around at all.

[carbonated-fenwater]

Mostly screaming into the void with this one but I'm almost to the end of earning my Bachelor's and I've got something to say.

It is not edgy or subversive to redirect your hatred onto animals that you deem morally impure or to try and yassify misunderstood creatures.

"Sea otters assault their females to death and drown their pups" they are still a cornerstone species worth protecting and whole ecosystems are suffering for the loss of them.

"Sharks are just ocean puppies and big sweeties." No they're not, they are apex predators and you have to treat them with respect. Saying they're not capable of aggression or completely misunderstood is still spreading misinformation, you cannot generalize a group of animals like this.

"Dolphins are super smart and actually capable of understanding that some of their behaviors are evil" I am actually going to break into your house and steal your shoes if you say this to me.

"Charismatic megafauna are useless and overrated and taking away from underappreciated species that Really need our help" wrong again dipshit. Animals like pandas, elephants, whales, and others that I'm sure you're tired of seeing plastered everywhere are important to get the general public involved. It's called PR (and while I wish it wasn't necessary and that people would care regardless I digress) and what conservation work IS done based around them is advantageous to other threatened species that share their habitat.

As someone going into the field of ecological conservation and marine biology, I have met one too many people who think it's okay to say a certain animal doesn't deserve to be protected because it makes them feel yucky or just because they think it doesn't deserve it. I shouldn't have to tell you why that is SO not okay. The underappreciated and overrated can both exist, you don't need to proselytize people into hating dolphins just so sharks can get their dues.

You're also allowed to just dislike an animal! But if you sensationalize their behaviors that are morally incorrect by human standards, then I am begging you to reevaluate yourself, get more educated on the subject, and talk to a real ecologist.

No creature on this planet deserves to be eradicated just because you are personally offended by their natural behaviors or deem them unfit to take up space.

[ancientfrozenglaciershark]

I just think they go to a lot of planets with megafauna :]

[wolven91]

They're Good Boys

“Abigail, get away from it!”

The human made no attempt to move away from the obviously apex predator that they had found evidence of, only days before on the latest planet to be surveyed in the oddly unresearched system. The planet was an iceball relatively close to the canid home system Anul. This system had been largely ignored due to the dangerous gravity wells that peppered the whole system. It was only now that they were investigating due to the unusual amount of stranded ships becoming an issue. Mainly because these ships were beginning to contain humans. 

Now the humans were seemingly desperate to get killed as the predator was a gigantic beast, the human barely came up to the top of its leg, its shoulders and back were only just reachable to the shorter human and even to the avian Guelex,  they barely reached its head. The poor avian was currently displaying his stress via extending his plumage to its maximum.

“He’s fine, see; he likes me!” The human shouted back, turning her head towards Faa breifly. The giant predator continued to lick and slather over the human’s ear instead of her face directly.

“It. Is. Tasting. You!!” He tried to penetrate the human’s exceptionally thick skull, but to no avail. The human turned back, reengaging her scratches to the sides of the monster’s face while using a strange voice, one reminiscent of the way one would speak to a young hatchling.

“Oooh, you’re just a big ‘ol space puppy aren’t you? Who’s a big space puppy? Who's a big scary six legged space puppy!?”

The creature collapsed to the ground and rolled onto its back partially, the human, not using this opportunity to flee, instead moved to rake her hands through the fluff that made up the creature’s belly. The set of hind legs began to kick in time to her attention.

Faa felt like he was going to moult at this rate.

“Human Abigail?!” Faa no longer cared for the Human Abigail who had the good sense not to climb on top of the predators. Human Max however, had appeared behind where Human Abigail was currently face deep into the belly of the beast, riding atop a different member of the behemoth’s pack.

“It’s like riding a horse! Only not really and completely different!” Human Max shouted from its back, his legs and stomach were completely obscured by the deep pelt of the creature. He reached down to scratch behind a massive ear, causing the creature to tilt its head and take several sideway steps in that direction.

“See! They’re good boys! It’s been years since I rode!”

“They- They’re not ‘good boys’! They’re dangerous!”

A large branch came flying from behind an ancient tree that had been growing on the ice planet for centuries. Moments later two more of the creatures came bursting from the undergrowth before growling and pulling at either end of the tree branch, fighting amongst themselves. Human Sarah appeared, pushing through the snow that reached her chest.

“Guys, they know ‘fetch’!”

“Awesome!” “Cool!” The group shouted.

Faa simply put a taloned hand on his face and shook his head. If Faa got eaten because of these Apes, he’s going to have words with the God of Challenges. 

This wasn’t fair.

“Faa, look, we can make it all the way back to the ship before nightfall if we take the Good Boys.”

Faa opened one eye at Human Abigail without removing his hand, Human Abigail was currently laying against the creature’s stomach on her back. She looked cosy and warm, ignoring the giant megafauna that was her ‘bed’.

“By riding them?”

“By riding them. We’ll have to give them treats though...”

The creature she was laying against, flinched, and sent her stumbling. It brought its muzzle all the way round towards Human Abigail and began to press it into her at different locations while the giant bellows of its lungs worked to sniff at her vigorously. The others that were in ear shot also took notice, as if understanding her meaning, if not her words. Human Abigail had the good sense to back up from the trio of predators that approached a few steps before falling over backwards into the snow bank.

Faa looked on in horror as he assumed the creatures began to eat Human Abigail, he didn’t even want to say ‘I told you so’, but before he could shout, run or even grumble, Human Abigail’s laughter broke out from below the muzzles that were pressing him into the snow.

“Stop it! Argh! I don’t have any on me ya daft things! Stop licking me! Let's go back and you can come with us! Pleh! Urgh! It got in my mouth! No!”

She had the decency to sound distressed now, but Faa knew she’d not learn from this experience, none of Faa’s team ever did. No wonder these humans didn’t travel in large groups; they hardly got any work done.