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nocofamilyau · 4 months

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I sure hope Hijotee is doing well wherever they may be... (21/24)

#noco family au #How I Met Your Father (Again)#total drama #total drama noah #total drama cody #total drama noco #noco lore #hijotee's william country #IM BACK BITCHES!!!!#don't worry I haven't offed this blog #uni has just been kicking my ass these past few weeks #final stretch to end of semester and of course I my neurodivergent ass leaves my last few assignments to the last minute #that and I had a nasty stomach flu for like a week so there's that #but yea planning on being way more active here in the coming weeks #hopefully get this bastard arc done by next week #fuck and its almost the blogs first anniversary too #huh #but yea #do people even read these tags?

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heich0e · 2 years

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trigun college!au where knives doesn't think you're good enough for vash, and hates how close the two of you seem to be getting as your friendship develops. so of course the obvious solution is to fuck you within an inch of your life on a semi-regular basis so that you don't get any ridiculous ideas about trying to date his little brother.

#no one is online and therefore i'm allowed to post this #nai wanted him and vash to go to a better more prestigious school #but vash's heart was set on this one #so he followed (with the obvious intention of convincing him to transfer somewhere more respectable after a semester or two)#you and vash meet at frosh week and have a few classes together #and knives resentfully watches as the years pass and you ingratiate yourself further and further into his brothers life #he waits until you're at a party one night to put his plan into motion #finding you in a dark corner when you FINALLY leave his brothers side for more than a few fleeting moments #and he corners you with his big BIG frame and has every intention of questioning you and YOUR intentions with regards to vash #but you're blinking up at him with slightly intoxicated doe eyes that make him uncharacteristically hesitate #next thing you know he's dragging you into some random room at the stupid house party he never even wanted to attend in the first place #and the rest they say.... is history #(plot twist your friendship with vash is completely platonic and you've had a crush on nai all along anyway)#trigun college!au

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panzershrike-pretz · 5 months

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Guess the fuck who started their morning with a panic attack

#i call it a level 8 based on my experience #could've been worse #my dog was in pain so I panicked about tgat #she's at the vet now and i know its in good hands but i'm still anxious #she's my whole reason to live so I just hope she gets better #i'm lonely now :(#but i'm doing better too just crying a bit but I guess that's understandable #they think she had a back injury and now I'm just standing here thinking of a whole plan to get ramps on every single furniture #anyway one hell of a way to start your thursday #🥨🪶#out the window with my plans of making the school homework today #i don't care about them at all when she's far away and i'm worried as all hell #grades be fucked I can re-do a semester but not re-do my time with her #oh well thought I'd tell yall so I don't go crazy all on my own here

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steviescrystals · 5 months

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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school #so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away #i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute #and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with #someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over #so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job #not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people #and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie #or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired #i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family #but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying #and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home #logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do #i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out #and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years #i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year #i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out #even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times #and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable #i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something #plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later #vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space #and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year #and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends #so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything #i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything #but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know #i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to #vent

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munamania · 9 months

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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru #but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days #and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing #i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail #i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time #not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me #im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me #anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early #i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great #and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most #expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth #but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans #but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated #about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like #u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends #w yall. things happen #abby talks #and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw #a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes #OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it #was years ago but also like christ!

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cantsaythetword · 9 months

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fuuuuuck ive dug myself such a massive hole and there's no climbing out now

#he speaks #love lying to my parents about how my uni career is going #cause i know they would cut me off from EVERYTHING i care about if they find out im failing anything #so just softening the blow by being like hey im barely passing #(which was still a DIFFICULT convo)#and saying oh im struggling heaps keeping up with readings and assignment deadlines so im just doing the bare minimum cause im exhausted #cause adhd #and them wanting to be super helpful and being like oh give me a list of your assignments and their due dates and your readings #and ill read the stuff and look at your assignments #cause you said you were doing summer semester to catch up on your classes from the trip #but in reality youre not you just said that so your parents would let you go #but now youre gonna have to do assignments over the summer break (aka for the next 4 weeks) and then be stressed about getting set up #and now youre so far in that you have an elaborate plan that you've “talked to the academic advisors” about your struggles and your adhd do #and both said you should go part time #so that it looks like youre graduating “on time”#but in reality youre just catching up on the courses you failed #and still struggling and hating full time #i stg if there were ANY other way to get the qualifications i need for this job #i would have left uni after first semester #i actually fuckin hate it #sorry for the rant lmao #kinda a vent post

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practically-an-x-man · 10 months

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Last week:

Me: hey is it okay if I prep a couple sculptures to work on over break? I want to get more sculptures in my portfolio

SFX instructor: Oh yeah go ahead, that sounds like a great idea! Definitely want to get some more sculpture in your portfolio if that's what you want to do as a career

Today (after evaluating my life-sized skull sculpture):

SFX instructor: yeah keep doing anatomy sculpts like this. If you want you can borrow one of the little anatomy men and do a sculpture of it over break. Or just sculpt an ear, sculpt a nose, things like that

Me: oh well I already have those two other sculptures prepped to work on over break

SFX instructor: those are great but if you really want to work in an FX shop you should always be working on anatomy

#would you make up your gd mind please #I mean seriously #If you think I should do more anatomy sculpts why not mention it BEFORE I prep the other sculpts???#needless to mention that fact that this is supposed to be a BREAK?#I cannot believe that I am already planning extra work to work on between semesters. Over the holidays #And somehow it's still not fucking enough for this man #he just ping-pongs between being a really good instructor and being a person I'd pay a hundred dollars just to punch in the face

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pluggedintosaverockandroll · 3 months

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i need to resit 4 exams i can live with that

#1 from last semester and 3 from this semester #am a little upset but i kinda expected something like this #plus my fails weren't super bad #a 7 twice and an 8 twice #(i took 12 classes this entire academic year btw)#am not gonna worry about it just yet cause i don't know when my resits are but i should probably start planning for them next week or smth #kj studies #kj post #me @ myself: you're studying comp sci engineering THAT IS HARD SO DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP BC YOU HAVE TO RESIT EXAMS THATS NORMAL #YOURE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE

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voidartisan · 2 years

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I really should be updating my resume and applying for jobs rn

but here i am

scrolling through tumblr

#i promised myself i could get new stickers for my laptop if i did this today #it's not very motivating despite the fact that i have been planning one of these purchases for over a year #(yes i've procrastinated buying a $2 sticker for a year growing up the oldest in a low-income family does weird things to your brain okay)#this is a problem bc i Need Income once i go back to college this semester

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notjanine · 2 years

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what hidden truths are revealed when people who are so so different from each other choose to love you in the same way

#i am thinking this week about how my mom just sent me the exact same ~thinking of you~ card that i have also received from my best friend #how different friends send me the same memes or gift me the same books #how close friends and loved ones remember what time i take my meds and remind me if i forget while we're together #when i'm sharing a meal at someone’s home and the person setting the table asks if i want a big fork or a small one #when people send me photos of random cats or bugs or other creatures they encounter in their day-to-day lives #and how last semester my boss found a beautiful moth and brought it to campus to show me and #my current preceptor found an abandoned wasp nest and brought it to the hospital for me #recently a few friends have told me (separately) that they want to spend more time with me bc they haven't really had female friends before #thinking about how many times i’ve had loved ones who were planning their weddings double check that i DON’T want to be a bridesmaid #how partners keep good vegan ice cream in the freezer because that’s my favorite post-coital snack #when people watch strange movies i love so we can talk about them together #thinking about the first time anyone calls me to say ‘i just wanted to hear your voice’#there is so much love in the world #how do i know if i’m giving enough back? how do i know if i’m doing it right?

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seaofreverie · 4 months

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Wanted to start working on projects for my part-time school this weekend but instead all I have the energy to do is lay in bed and play mario kart or lay in bed and listen to music

#i started taking meds two days ago and over those two days i've felt even more dead energy-wise than before. if that's even possible #i hope this passes sooner than later because the semester's almost over #and i want to prepare something better to pass this course with than those projects that everyone did in class #and then it will finally (or rather already. time feels fake) be summer and no more obligations of such type. for now #altough i'll admit these last few months were rather easygoing #in terms of stuff i had to do for a set deadline and such #it would have been a much harder time for me otherwise #at least i'm getting this stuff sorted at last. slowly but surely #and enjoying my time gaming and listening to 4-5 albums a day on average as of the last two days #maybe 2024 is the year when my mental health problems finally caught up with me #but then with some dedication and direction i can also start getting out of it for once and for all #like i actually want to be proud of what i've done this year. because it's a lot #and it's things i wouldn't have found myself capable of just a few months ago #like. making this blog and actually sharing my feelings and thoughts somewhere #years of being your own only confidant really messes with your brain and ability to function as an adult it turns out #but yeah i hope i can get this sorted now and the meds help and make it easier to go about my previous plans for making myself feel better #i'll try not to post about this too much but i really needed to get this out today #i know many people vent on tumblr anyway but my brain will always make me feel bad about anything and everything i do lol #vent tag

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation?#uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made #friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go #bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple #the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula #for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b #concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown #its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a #healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take #more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end #of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me #and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this #project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data #bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i #just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem #bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping #ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and #classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die #my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday #who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio #majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes #b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative #ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week #until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad #who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we #die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him #its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of #sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol #whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄#unrelated

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littencloud9 · 6 months

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ARGHHH I HAVE SO MANY FICS TO WRITE

#this is my fault i joined like 5 fandom events #but my next semester starts in 2 weeks and im worried i cant keep up when that happens lol #also i wanna do the choose your own adventure fic SO bad. it’s in the planning phase and im so excited for it #but FANDOM EVENTS. ARGH

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starbuck · 7 months

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the fact that i don’t have time to fall in love right now is literally SO unfair.

#I AM YOUNG AND FULL OF JOY AND POSSIBILITY!!!!!!#LET ME LIVE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME LIVE #unfortunately in reality i still have ten semesters to go…#and then maybe grad school as well...#and like. i get it…#one part of me says ‘don’t even think about dating until you have your own house’#but the other part of me says ‘what the hell is WRONG with you????? GET OUT THERE AND LIVE AND LOVE RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY!!!!!’#so there is what you could describe as a SLIGHT conflict #idk… if i could just casually date someone i think that could be fun #but i know i don’t have time for a serious commitment #and i am an unfortunately serious person #i have to keep in mind that i’m planning to run away for two years at the beginning of 2026 #and do i REALLY wanna put up with something long-distance??#probably not #it wouldn’t matter to me - but i wouldn’t expect someone else to deal with it #overall i just have to wait for the right person and i’ll know them when i see them and they’ll know me too #and that’s all there is to it #i’m waiting for a Connection #and until then i need to focus and keep up with my classes and work #miserable miserable things - but worth it #and i can continue to build myself up in the meantime with my personal studies #so that when the right person comes along i am exactly who i want to be #and that is why they will love me

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bitchfitch · 1 year

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Idk what the moral of this story is going to be but I was reminded of something that happened while I was in college.

This was in a public speaking class, and the teacher wanted to make us practice verbal communication by separating us out into little groups of 3/4 students and giving us prompts for which we needed to come up with as many idea/responses to within 5 minutes as possible.

Now. I don't know why she thought that was an appropriate way to teach Verbal communication, because my group would have 20-30+ unique ideas, while every other group had 5 or 6. We Lapped every other group. And this is because I'm Mute. I can't talk. at 17 I was already incapable of speaking loud enough to be heard in an active classroom like that.

so my group just. Didn't talk. We each put our heads down and Banged out as many ideas as we each individually could, and just crossed off duplicates when it came time to count. because verbal communication just slowed you down in that kind of task. We didn't have to make Good ideas, just a Lot of them.

And anyways that was the 1 day of class I got a good grade bc the college wouldn't accept a doctor's note with the words 'vocal paralysis' and 'extensive nerve damage' on it as evidence as to why I, a mute, should be excused from the class that required you to be able to talk

#like #admittedly i was responsible for at least 80% of the ideas written down bu our group bc i was 17 and had Severe unmedicated adhd #so my brain is just Hard wired to rapid fire bounce around ideas. Whichayne was an unfair advantage in this taks #So maybe for groups that didn't have an adhd georg in them the talking was helpful #Anyways maybe the moral is run your class plan by the most mentally unstable teenager you can find before applying it #That was the only class I wasn't like. straight As and helping other students after finishing my work for the day #and I left that college bc i would have had to redo the entire semester for FAILING A CLASS THAT REQUIRES YOU TO BE ABLE TO TALK.#WHILE BEING MUTE.

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birdantlers · 2 years

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Can u draw more Namekians pleeeaase. I beg of you sir 😩

#ask #skit #skart #dbz #it doesnt bug me that much personally #but while im here I’ll also say pls refrain from begging creators to do a certain thing 😅#ik this was in good faith but generally it comes across as rude #like i said idrc but i dont want my meming to come across as reinforcement #asking ‘hey do you have plans to do [x] again’ is a lot better bc it takes the pressue off the artist #ANYWAY sorry to soapbox on your ask hcjdhdjddhj theresmofe #*theres more db art coming i swear #semester and mental state are a bit rough rn lmao

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