#pixar worst to best

[mirrorofliterature]

people who slander imelda rivera have a standing invitation to fight me

[dashdotshows]

[mindshelter]

if you know nothing about nhl playoffs at all i just want to inform you that yesterday was the final championship game in the panthers' home arena, where they play a looney tunes big cat growl sound effect several times every time they score. the visiting team from edmonton is captained by someone who is widely accepted as one of the best players the sport has ever seen. this is also the first time the team has made it this close to the stanley cup in almost two decades.

so they lose in the arena where they play cat growl sound effects and then as the opposite team is celebrating on the ice mcdavid sends each of his players (many likely about to cry) off to the locker room while rubber rats are being thrown onto the ice. people talk about mental resilience in sports all the time but i think they're usually talking about not choking during gameplay and not. falling rats during one of the worst days of your life. pixar villain origin story ass moment

[thatgenderfluidmonstrosity]

Alright! Cars Movie Opinions this time!

Cars 1:

It’s just such a classic. Literally what?? Like- the way Lightning develops into such a cool and interesting character- how he shows what he learned when in Radiator Springs? Fucking delicious.

I loved how snarky he was in the beginning of the movie, but honestly, that scene where he was flirting with Sally in traffic court- lowkey embarrassing my guy 😭

DOC HUDSON!?!? IM SORRY, DID YOU MEAN DAD HUDSON?.???

Also, idk if it’s already established in the fandom, but Sarge and Fillmore… omg they are such a thing.

Car 2:

Yep, here it is, the controversial movie.

Well- I fucking loved it. My first watch through, I seriously couldn’t believe that it was considered the worst movie. Then I watched it a second time and did notice a couple things. …Then I watched it a third time. But! I still think it’s wonderful. It’s not a good sequel, but oml is it a good spy movie. Finn McMissile? Literally so baby girl. Leland Turbo?? Rod Redline??? Somebody needs to throw the creators in jail, because it seriously it must be illegal to create such good side characters. I mean- they aren’t even side characters- they literally showed up for less than 10 minutes.

Nonetheless, they have stolen my heart.

Holly Shiftwell = baby girl

The conflict between Mater and Lightning was certainly lacking, but regardless, I still liked the movie.

Cars 3:

KAJXKWJIXWJ ITS THE BEST ITS THE BEST ITS-

Ahem, anyway, Cruz is so baby. She’s just so. She. I. I love her.

Doc is Lightnings dad, Lightning is Cruz’s dad. Seriously. There’s no other way. I love how, once they find their middle ground (McQueen and Cruz) and enjoy the others company, they fit so well together. The conflict with Jackson Storm, then Sterling? I- I don’t even-

DOCS LEGACY?!.!. (It being continued through Cruz with the number and McQueen with the name)

THE LETTERS HE SENT SMOKEY,!,!?,

WHAT.!,?,?.

Anyway, other thoughts:

The fucking MUSIC!!! THE MUSIC, MAN!!! All music from all the movies is just so sdjkxsjkxjeicjs‼️‼️

Personal Favorites include: Real Gone and Life Is A Highway (Cars 1), It’s Finn McMissile! (Cars 2), and Run That Race and Glory Days (Cars 3)

Also, instead of a 4th Cars movie, Pixar should create a show that is just different ideas taken from the fans, like: More Doc Hudson History, More Backstory on Finn and Leland’s friendship, and If Cruz would have been able to meet Doc. Like- come on, these are solid ideas!

Finally, I didn’t think that many people were still really active in this fandom- but I’m so happy to be a part of it! I love Cars so much, and I’m seriously so sad I didn’t get into it earlier.

Anyway- I think that’s it :3

[humdinky]

i love pixar's turning red. it is such a good representation of girls at that age. they don't shy away from depicting the awkward and weird parts. it is so rare to see a movie depict girls and their silly interests without condemning or judging them. they just let the girls be girly, noisy, and silly.

fuck the hate this movie got on its release. i could go on for hours about society's uniquely shitty attitude towards teenage girls and their interests. there are countless examples. remember the feverish hate for twilight, a series aimed exclusively at young women? what about the hunger games? teenage girls were the first ones to fall in love with elvis and the beatles, and critics treated them like a joke. that is, until adult men started liking them. funny how that works. justin bieber fans, one direction fans, vsco girls, girly girls, tomboys, emo girls, indie girls, bookworms. you will see every single type of girl being made fun of for every conceivable interest a human being can have.

at a certain age you feel forced to make an arbitrary choice. lean into your feminine side and continue to get mocked for 'being shallow', 'only caring about your looks', 'being annoying' etc. or lean into your masculine side and get called a pick-me or told that you just want to get with their guy friends. you like things that are popular? you’re basic. you like things that aren’t as popular? you’re trying too hard. it is the entire reason why so many girls internalize this misogyny, why they start saying things like "im not like other girls."

i certainly wasn't immune to that trap. i didn’t fit the mold and got ostracized for it. the only validation i received for the longest time was from boys, when i turned my anger back on girls and girlhood. i was sold that narrative so many times that i wore it like some sort of badge of honor. it took years to unlearn. i feel sad when i look back on my younger self. i was so sad, so angry, and so scared all the time.

we get insulted for being happy. we get insulted for being sad. we get insulted for being mad that we were insulted for being sad. we get insulted for trying to forget what happened and act happy again. we get insulted for feeling hopeless. they beat the confidence out of you very early.

and it angers me how the emotions of teenagers as a whole are so often neglected. when you're around that age and grappling with big emotions, you've quite literally never felt anything that strongly before. a failed test, a best friend's betrayal, being cut from a sports team. it all feels like a rejection of your entire person, your entire being. you haven't lived that many years yet, and it's the first time you've felt this horrible. you don't have anything to compare it to, and it feels like nobody else could have ever survived feeling this bad before.

it's not petty teenage drama. it's not immaturity. it is a normal human reaction to the worst pain you've experienced, and it is happening at a time when your body is going haywire and your feelings feel impossible to control. you don't know how to cope with it, you can't possibly know, because it's the first time you've had this bottomless well of pain tearing you up inside. you can't look back at previous times you've felt this way to reassure yourself that it will be okay eventually. the first time is the worst and hardest and you have no resources to get through it yet.

a lot of adults scoff at and dismiss the feelings of teenagers. "you're young, you'll get over it"' they've decided that because you haven't dealt with this feeling before that you must be overreacting. sometimes you are, and sometimes you're reacting exactly how any adult would. it's an absolutely shitty thing to express to anyone. a teenage girl's pain is not any less real than a 50 year old's pain. so what if it will get better? it doesn't matter that it isn't going to be the worst thing that ever happens; it matters that right now it very much is the worst thing that's happened.

yes, teenagers overreact over a lot of things that aren't as important as they feel. as if adults, who don't even have the excuse of inexperience with deep emotions, don't? no one should ever dismiss someone else's pain regardless of their age or circumstances.

​im turning 20 in a few months. find the small joys of life, and don’t you dare let anyone take them away from you. if there is a teenage girl reading this, i love you, i am sorry, and it does get better.

[littlestpersimmon]

Hey I saw on twitter that you went to Elemental and that it's bad. I was planning on taking my lil sister to it but I'd rather not if it has a bunch of racist shit in it (we're from Singapore). Is it like really really bad?

it's got that formulaic pixar/disney thing going on that the moment the fire girl, Ember, said "Elements cant mix" I legit, out-loud groaned because I knew where it was headed. Music was good, but thats about the only good thing I can unfortunately say about it.

The fire people were distinctly asian, from the way the dad spoke, the music when the fire people appeared.. and the way they were dressed.. and they arrived in a boat to a place that was vaguely fantasy america. The first scene with the fire family was the mom and dad telling this guy at the gates their names, and the ticket guy who was "earth" couldn't pronounce it, and just gave them english names, literally english names, and its played as a joke. The fire family goes around the city looking for an apartment to live in, and everyone shuts their doors on their faces- There was a weird apartheid vibe going on bcos all the other elementals got along, earth, air and water all lived in the same glowing city, while people who were fire lived downtown, and at one point, the camera kind of pans out to show you how wildly different the environment is between fire people and like. The rest of the elements- the racial divide is even more apparent when Ember is in the city outside the fire city bc everyone is colored with cool colors while Ember is often the only thing in frame thats colored warm. It's the typical story where asian culture, which is unfortunately homogenized in this movie, is presented as oppressive, painful, and nothing more than a prop that needs to assimilate to american values-

Ember goes with Wade, the water guy, into the water city, where everything is naturally hostile to her, Wade's family is racist towards Ember, and uncomfortable scenes like "wow, you speak the language so well" is played off for laughs;

Ember's family flees the fire country because of a nebulous storm cloud that is never explained or elaborated on, And the movie never addresses WHY people from the global south flee their homes, it presents the global south as being extremely hostile to the point that people are made to believe that the only option is a slightly less hostile world where everything is alien and people are naturally flippant and dismissive at best, and openly racist at worst.

Throughout the movie, Ember goes into Wade's world and meets people who call her slurs, walks into cities that are naturally dangerous for her to exist in, even in Wade's home she can't step on the floor because there's water everywhere, but its expected of her to just accept this as the way things will be if she is going to date a guy who is not a part of her world- The story ends with Ember leaving her family, and her family's convenience store totally gentrified- as it is with so many stories surrounding asians who immigrate- in everything everywhere all at once, with turning red, with shorts like Bao- The other side of "two worlds story" is never addressed, the side that is trying to grapple with a post colonial world is seen as old fashioned, filled with pain, antiquated and oppressive- The people who are functionally white in these stories are never once asked to unlearn their preconceived notions about the people they have oppressed. Why should they? - it is, fundamentally, a story of assimilation.

[teeheepicmickey]

Regarding the Disney Boycott and Epic Mickey: Rebrushed

I was extremely excited when Epic Mickey: Rebrushed was announced- and it seemed like so many other people were ecstatic as well. But now that some time has passed, I'm realizing that the Disney boycott is a major concern for the sales of the game. Rebrushed is being released at the worst possible time. As much as I've seen people excited for the game, I've also seen people planning to pirate it so they can enjoy the game and participate in the boycott. However, I've also been witnessing evidence that Disney wouldn't profit as much from the game's sales after selling the copyrights to the developers. It'd be the developers making the most money and being supported for their efforts. Compared to the empire that is Disney, and all the things they're making money off of, Epic Mickey is a minuscule part and not going to make much of a difference at all in the boycott.  I was discussing this with a friend and they wrote: "My heart goes out to everyone suffering through and impacted by the conflict right now. It's truly atrocious for everyone involved, especially with the lives at stake, and I agree with the boycott's goal of refusing to support Disney. This is something that matters heavily. Unfortunately, to truly boycott Disney, you'd have to boycott all future Marvel projects, I'm talking not even give a second of those projects your time, all future Disney/Pixar movies, they gotta make $0, stop buying half the produce in the grocery store funded/supported/farmed by Disney, all of views on ABC and ESPN would have to drop to 0, no more sports, gotta boycott all future Star Wars projects, all of 21st Century Fox, pretty much just entertainment can't exist anymore if we want to thoroughly boycott Disney. That's why including Epic Mickey: Rebrushed of all things- especially when this post (a post I showed of an explanation that Disney sold the Epic Mickey Copyrights to the developers) is right, yeah Disney still makes money but not the bulk of it, the company making it is- is really silly. You're not going to collectively show Disney "who's boss" by not buying this game that they hardly have a hand in, that's such a childish point of view. You'd have to get the entire world on the same page to stop letting Disney profit and to no longer spend money on things they have their hand in, and unfortunately, Disney has their hand in a lot. Hollywood as a whole would have to truly shut down if you wanted to boycott Disney to send them a message. Disney is gonna make money regardless. If you truly wanna speak with your wallet, cancel your Disney Plus subscriptions. If even like 40% of those get canceled within the next week, that'll send a huge and alarming message to Disney. Stay out of theaters for the next Disney/Pixar movies. Marvel. Star Wars. Don't watch those projects, especially on their streaming services. Don't watch any videos they post to their official channels. Don't Like or give views to their Tweets and posts. To hurt them, you have to hurt where their cash cows are, and Epic Mickey is NOT their cash cow. It's barely struggling to survive as it is, and the dedicated team reviving the cult classic is doing their best to bring it to us. They have nothing to do with upper Disney's decisions. Killing something that's already down would truly be on us. Leave the game alone" (there's another paragraph to this but for some reason tumblr won't let me post it on the same post- so it'll be reblogged!! ) PLEASE CHECK THE REBLOGGED POST ON THIS ACCOUNT!!!  

[trinketstar]

I realize as a hobbyist I'm privileged for saying this but AI art doesn't intimidate me in the slightest. Like it's bad that it'll be replacing jobs but outside of that... It's basically only good for making gross plastic looking over-rendered Pixar/off realistic styles and generic anime girls. It can't replicate comics or anything unique stylized or human, it's all so generic at best and uncanny at worst.

[popculturebuffet]

Transformers ONE Review: Autonomy is the Right of All Sentient Beings (Comissoin for Brotoman.EXE)

Hello all you happy autobots! This reviews one i'm excited for. See I was hoping One would be good: Rise of the Beasts was a disapointment having some good spots (the soundtrack, Anthony Ramos) but falling into the trap of trying to cram 80 tons of plot into two hours while not developing the robot cast enough. I mean it didn't have robotic gay jokes, racisim, robot testicles, or Optimus Prime gleefully murdering people, instead at worst being an asshole, but it didn't quite reach the heights of Bumblebee , not really taking in it's lessons of "less is more" and "Maybe people like characters"

Thankfully Transformers One takes the later to heart: Transformers One succesfully combines the spectacle people want from robots punching each other on the big screen, with a deep and personal character story of two robots who were like brothers whose ideologies drive them apart. One delivers both huge robot spectacle but grounds it in characters you care about. I'm a more casual fan of the franchise, haven't seen g1 , but I can't be happier as a fan of both transformers and animation itself to see this film and hope it does well over time. The first trailer REALLY didn't help but word of mouth probably will.

So while that's the most I can give without spoilers, I invite you to join me under the cut as I dive into WHY this film is so great, it's characters, ambiguities, great design choices, and the mistep or two. let's call him act 1 bumblebee. It's all under the cut with FULL SPOILERS. Seirously the film relies heavily on a twist about halfway in that while experinced fans and those experinced with fiction can probably see coming, though the marketing did a good job not telegraphing it, is still not something I want to be a dick and spoil outright So join me under the cut, till all are one.

What's Old is New:

Transformers One is the first animated transformers movie in decades: While I really CAN'T explain the 90's as Beast Wars seemed super popular when I was a kid, from the 2000's onward Hasbro largely dubbed anime of the transformers, and once we got to the live action films in the late 2000's through the 2010s Paramount made so much money hand over fist with each entry despite being "they gave devistator truck nuts" levels of baffling and "what seems to be standard micheal bay" levels of racist, they likely felt no need to inovate. If the movies are making them enough money to scrooge mcduck every time one comes out, there's no real reason to fight that if your a studio executive. The cartoons could simply take a queue or two from the films, as both animated and prime did and still make them money.

One comes in during this cash flow: looking into it on wikipedia, I genuinely tried looking elsewhere and couldn't find much, One came about after Age of Exctinction, with Parmount setting up a writers room to pitch sequel ideas. The films title animated nature and basic premise as a prequel came from that.. then as far as I can gather sat on the shelf as they still had binload of money.

Then the last knight happened ,an incoherent mess that had Anthony Hopkins have violent sexual tension with C3PO yet did nothing with it, so naturally it failed at the box office. This lead to Bay steping back from the franchise as a director

And lead to One being dusted off after Bumblebee's success. While the live action films continued with the ehtastic Rise of the Beasts and a GI Joe vs Transformers movie on the horizon, it's clear Parmount saw two things: putting all their transforming eggs in one transforming basket probably wasn't the best idea and animation was making bank post spider-verse. So One was dusted off. It just needed a director. Weirdly despite expresssing intrest in doing it Travis Knight, director of Kubo and the Two Strings, Bumblebee and longtime Laika animator, wasn't tapped.

Instead Parmount went with long time pixar animator and Toy Story 4 director Josh Cooley. And cooley ended up being the perfect man for the job: he looked at the script and while he liked the concept he'd been pitched, a prequel focusing on a younger optimus and megatron and their brotherly friendship destegrating into a forever war, he found the script was a bit lighter in tone and wanted to get a tone.

Cooley was a fan of the G1 Cartoon, and in one interview recounted seeing the film as a kid and being blown away by the scope opening on unicron eating a planet. He loved the spectacle of it and wanted to bring that to one, comparing it to epics like ben hur or the tend commandments; big bombastic stories with a very human core, a relationship breaking down at it's core. Cooley also had a great approach to adapting it:he clearly loves the franchise with his reaction to various animators and storyboarders sneaking in their faviorite autobots for cameos simply being

Cooley knew how to adapt the film: honor it's legacy, with plenty of nods to transformers history, but not be beholden to it going for a style that was a mix of g1 astetics but with an art deco sensiblity. Notably his decision not to have orion pax wear the optimus mask a ton was for good reason: instead of just being change for change's sake, it was to let him emote more. It's the same reason Peter Cullen wasn't chosen: Cooley utterly adores cullen but got that this optimus.. isn't him yet. The films about Optimus growing into being a leader and thus needed another tone. More on that later but these interviews gave me even more respect than the film itself already had, showing a man who knew how to adapt something well.

Visually the film is a treat: the animation is done by industrial light and magic, who did the films and who have only done three animated films. To my suprise i'd not only seen them all but one of them wasn't the clone wars. You'd think but no, Lucasfilm outsourced. No instead they did the animation for Rango, also with paramount under nick and Strange Magic, and both films have some impressive animation. I mean the designs for strange magic are questionable, as are a lot of things in that very dumb very fun movie, but it's clear they were just as good at making a fully animated world as they were making animated parts of a live action one. It's been almost a decade since strange magic, but they haven't lost a step.

As a result One looks gorgoeous: we've seen pre war cybertron before, but the big budget means we can see it as a gorgeous gleaming futuristic city with icacon, it' sbucolic surface and it's full glory once the planet is restored at the end. It adds emotoinal weight as the war will likely leave this planet a ravaged cold wreck as usual, but we ge tto see that beauty first. Even with the unlimited budget of comics the cybertron of the idw comics, while not bad looking is a pretty generic city. Here we get a gleaming metropolis that fully takes adantage of the fact some of it's citzens can transform, cramped quarters and mines. It makes cybertron feel truly alive and fils me with the kind of joy and wonder I missed from sci fi. This big colorfulspectacle that dosen't shy away from darker themes or moments, but despite the darkness of it's world, the corruption, the lines, and the tragic destiny that awaits there's a sense of hope. I loved Dune Part 2, still one of my faviorite films of the year and one of the best films i've seen, but it also follows it's characters tragic downfall as he's forced on the path of the chosen one wether he likes it or not and no matter how many genocides he's going to do walking that path. It's nice ot have a thetrical space where you can have a tragic yet hopeful story abotu robots in the same space as a tragic tale of a charsmatic leader's villian origin story. That I can have the kind of fun and thrill I had with star wars before disney decided to make the most pandering film in existance with rise of skywalker and still make no one happy, be a kid again for 90 minutes while still having the intresting stories nd characters that engage me as an adult is nice.

We Were Closer Than Brothers

This quote's been glued to my brain since I first read it in Powers of X, this perfect summation of the disolution of xavier and magento's friendship and why the two were forever at odds. There's a simple gap in who they are, who they want to be that can't be crossed.

And it's that kind of eternally recurring conflict that drives the film. It's one I never realized just how common it is yet so timeless and malleable it's been done a lot. In addition to x-men, both in the comics and the reboot/prequel films, Nartuo and She Ra and the Princess of power both tell the story of two people who are closer than family, but whose lives, egos and core beliefs pull them apart. Granted only one of these takes the obvious route of "and now kiss" but I digress. This is a tale as old as time, the tale of two people who genuinely truly love each other, as family or more. ANd it's one that works really well with these two characters.

This isn't the first version of Transformers to have Optimus and Megatron as former friends: The War for Cybertron Trilogy and Prime both use this idea, as we discussed earlier this month Transformers Cyberverse teased it and the IDW comics i've covered had something close to this: the idea that Pax agress with Megatron that cybertron needs to change and for the better.. but they simply can't agree.

One however gets the time needed to really dig into this: the two aren't just friends.. their best friends. Possibly more but that's left open for interprtation. And in the good way not "QUICK WE NEED TO MAKE THE FILM LESS GAY BECAUSE WE WANT MORE MONEY BECAUSE THAT'S HOW WE THINK THAT'S WORKS. "cooley saw the two as brothers , while it's just as easy to see the two as having feelings for one another. I tend to go towards the latter, with D-16 like he tends to do repressing it and the point being moot by the end as that bridge is burnt beyond recognition.

Transformers One sti feels queer coded, something I noticed pointed out on tv tropes but is hard to ignore once you notice it: it's a story about two young robots one whose proud of who he is and wants to buck the corrupt system they were both born into , the other who keeps his head down and mouth shut, both of whom find out a part of them was kept form them by said system and are allowed to be who they are. It's really not hard to read into that, especailly when the main antagonist is literally stealing a part of who they are. Which is not subtle but the fact a family film is saying this at all and in a way that's hard to ignore is fucking amazing.

Circling back to that first part it's how the two react to the world they live in that defines Pax and D-16 long before they become the bots we all know and love. The world of cybertron is one where a good chunk are seemingly born without cogs, forced to work in mines or other hard labor for hours on end, and all for the glory of their leader Sentinel Prime, played by John Hamm in glorious smarm. The queer coding is hard to tell if it's intentional.. but the film's commentary on how soceites are often built to keep one class, often containg people of color, queer people and others society deems "other", down to profit the rich.

It also shows how those in power create cults of personality: Sentinel gets all this hard work by projecting a show of being this loved glorious figure, going on quests for his people every few days. John Hamm does a damn good job showing just WHY cybertron hangs on his word. In the IDW continuity, Sentinel really didn't hide what a bastard he was beyond what he had to. Here... they all love him and he leaves the dirty work to his minons. They get to bully the lower class and do whatever they please, and he gets the adoration while likely condoning their bullshit because he's just as much of a monster as they are, he just gets to hide it.

It's their reactions to this inequality that define our heroes: Orion is a dreamer. You've seen the type in animation before: he wants a better world, keeps striving and wants his big shot at being someone. But One nicely grounds this: where his now.. is a dangeorus life of mining being bullied constantly and where his heroic act of saving a coworker get shis boss Elita One demoted. It's a world where he can't even look at the past glories of cybertron and it's 13 primes without having to dodge security. Orion senses something is off and that the world can be better. He's an optimist.

What I like though is this isn't without consequence: elita did get demoted and resents him for it, D-16, his best friend, quitely resents him for having to bail him out. He has the heart of Optimus Prime, wanting to try for the best for everybody and wanting to take D-16with him as he gets up in the world... but he lacks the patience he'll gain in time, rushing into things, dragging others with him and generally not thinking before he acts. His actions get a friend demoted and later get him and his best friend sent to the depths.

D-16 on the otherhand.. just wants to keep his head down. Respect authority even if it's unfair, slowly get promoted.. work his way up. The thing is... the system isn't really BUILT to help bots. At most he'll be leading a shift. And while there's nothing wrong with that, as there is in real life blue collar work, he also wants to ignore that there's something.. off with the world. That maybe he dosent' HAVE to be a miner if he dosen't want to or wait centuries to get promoted. He's quick to see the benefits when Pax drags him into thei iacon grand prix.. but just as quick to panic, worrying any slip will get him sent back down. He's resigned that their stuck where they are. And look i'm not saying class disparity is easily sovled in the real world. It's not. But you can still fight for change where you are.

Eventaully though Optimus finds his shot, one that Megatron tries to resisit.. but ultimately can't: what seems to be the matrix. Taking along Elita, who gets dragged along and only agrees if she can arrest their asses if this fails, and B, a bot they find in the depths of waste management, our heroes trek heroically across the planets dangerous surface and duck a quintesson ship.

And the World Screams, Kiss Me Son of God

And it's here.. where the film gets flipped on his head. Now i'll grant the twist isn't super groundbreaking. Having the seemingly nice authority figure turn out to be an asshole is old hat, the film's marketing tried at first to hide the fact Megatron would turn evil till they realized they kinda marketed it bad, it's pretty easy to suspect sentinel. It dosen't help on my end that the previous versions I know are a genocidal racist monster man whose horrible managing of cybertron helped create the decepticons, and a smug prick who needs to be thrown into the sun.

But it works well as Sentinel Prime.. works as a symbol for systemic corruption. The primes were 12 noble people chosen by primus for their character and who ruled justly. Now granted it is iffy having your creator god whose also the planet pick your rulers, but Pax's ascendance later makes it very clear Primus choose not just by destiny but by character. Sentinel claimed he was one and the last survivor after they beat out the quintessons. One's universe uses mostly chunks of the g1 backstory: Primus created transformer kind and became the planet as in the comics, but the Quintessons are still key, just as adversaries rather than a monsterous race that created the transformers as slaves before they rebelled, though still keeping parts of that in spirit. The 13 primes from war for cybertron and prime are added in creating a perfect precursor.

Sentinel however betrayed them, selling them out to the quintessons to become god emperor of cybertron with the mining class born entirely of his own greed, stripping them of their t cogs and indocrinating them. And tha'ts what makes this scary: part of why Sentinel's plan works so well.. is indocrination. To most of Cybertron this is just how things always were. The few people who know gladly keep up the lie. By creating a system he can control, sentinel has guaranteed few will rebel because they have no reason to doubt him. Like any good dictator he's set himself up as the be all end all and as a god unto himself so his people don't question and those like optimus who do are struck down.

Even when Alpha Trion last of the primes played wonderfully by Laurence Fishburne tells them all of this and in a truly beautiful and horrific sequence shows it to them using some dust he controls, only pax and Bumblebee truly digest it. It makes sense for both. Pax has ALWAYS questioned his place in the world so while he's mildly skeptical at worst, for him, someone whose broken into the archives to learn, constantly pushed against the system, finding out "Oh your life is a lie".. is freeing. It's finding out the horrible sytem that hates what you are is wrong. It's where the queer coding comes in finding out no your not wrong.. it's the people who said you not being you were horrible. For Pax this is what he's always wawited for: a mentor who truly respects all he did to get here, a purpose in freeing cybertron, a true world.

For B when we meet him he's spent his life being constantly kicked down rungs for his screw ups, abandoned by Cybertron to it's depths and happy just to have friends. Finding out "oh yeah your leader is a lie and you get to be badass now" is just.. nice. B is just kinda there for the ride. Honestly Bumblebee is just kinda there in the movie. Keegan Michael Key does a great job as the character especially in the second act when he gets to react to the more horrific things going on , but for the first he's just the annoying comic relife. The Badassatron gag gets old FAST and the trailers did not help. The trailers also didn't help focusing entirely on the comedy, which helps offset things and makes the more dramatic and often violent second act work. We get ot know these characters and there world... then see what happens after the curtains lifted and they see what there world always was.

This plays into Elita who i've glanced over, and who dosen't take it well, having to see Sentinel directly selling out to the quintissons to belivie it. Elita did her job, played the system, tried to get out.. and finds out it was rigged the whole time. Elita as we see her is tough, but fair.. wanting to arrest our heroes when they escape to the surface.. but willing to go with them when stranded as if they ARE right she gets what she wants and if their wrong they've agreed to be arrested anyways. Yet when her world turns upside down her response to it is shock.. then acceptance. The world is bad, how can we fix this? She goes with Optimus plan, though dosen't go loyally pointing out it MIGHT not work.. but it's their best option: expose sentinel to the public and hope it turns them.

This... is where D-16 shifts entirely. And his actor Brian Tyree Henry is easily the standout of the cast. No question. We see D-16 as someone who truly belivied in the system and the primes: he's a huge Megatronius Prime fanboy, who in most realities ends up being a tratiorus monster and basically satan.. but here.. is a good person and the strongest of the primes. He respected sentinel, utterly in awe to help him find the matrix, which was said to be lost. So instead he finds out everything he belivied in is a lie and takes it hte hardest: elita was annoyed with the system enough it took light convincing, pax was never for it and B is just happy to be included. But for D... this was everything. This was his LIFE. He rages at Pax for taking them on this adventure, for everything he loved and worshipped being relveaed a lie. Finding out what his life was, or rather what he likely expected it was but refused to admit to himself breaks him.

And that.. unleashes his rage. You get the sense D-16 has a lot of supressed anger: constantly having to tow the line, to clean up after his best friend, to keep his head down.. and finding out it was all for nothing and said friend is the reason he knows this.. unelashes every rage. Every thought he had to keep in every bit of it at once... and he wants Sentinel dead: not brought to justice, not heroically brought down for corruption: DRAGGED THROUGH THE STREETS IN CHAINS TO THE DEPTHS OF THE MINES AND TORN APART. Orion wants justice, he wants revenge.

The film also does a good job not making d-16 just.. evil. He's full of rage, he lashes out at orion.. but you still side with him despite knowing where this angers gonna take him. The system is broken, horrible and nightmarish. Like the IDW megatron, D-16 has EVERY reason to think it needs to burn. Yet you get why Pax wants the softer touch at first: he dosen't care about sentinel fuck that guy but burning it to the ground gets other people caugh tin the fire. Neither is entirley wrong: sentinel probably does need to die, but a brutal execution dosen't help anyone. And as pax can do doing so won't fill the void in his chest. Getting the t-cogs for the literal voids in their chest dosen't either.

The film dosen't entirely stop the lighthearted stuff: We get that great seuqnece form the trailers where our quartet try to transform and end up stuck mid way. It's both a neat idea, as i'ts essentially waking up a whole part of your body you could not use, and fun, based on Cooley's own experinces as a kid where for the more complex transformers they'd end up in a half transformed pile.

But the core is clear... and while the divide between D and Pax deepends as we meet the High Guard

Choked Out

So our heroes are kidnapped by the High Guard, the future decepticons. The High Guard were the primes loyal and noble enforcers but have spent the last however long it's been turned into a rebellion against sentinel, barely scraping by. Granted their also lead by Starscream which has never gone well and there's no giant gun to shoot him with nor volcano to throw him in so their kinda stuck.

I do love Starscream here played by the one and only Steve Buschemi who gets Sceamers smugness and arrogance right while adding in a dash of bloodthirst and class. The High Guard has devovled into a might makes right hellscape. And it's this hellscape.. that finishes creating megatron. I belivie had b had time to process or think , he MIGHT of not become megatron. It's likely why Alpha Trion still trusted him.. though as Brotoman pointed out when we discussed the film it could just as easily be that trion didn't care and wanted D-16 to go on a blood rampage. This still puts him above the G1 version whose only menoring to optimius was bringing him back form the dead like jesus after four robots from the future wondered in.

But the high guard share his views: wanting to burn it down, wanting to use brute force, resenting the rest of cybertron. It's all there. And the high guard are the army he needs to pull off his goals, as he's grown to resent optimus and Bee and Elita are firmly on his side.

So in a fit of Irony it's starscream who helps fully cement the creation of megatron. Megs is annoyed at their postering, doing seemingly nothing and done with their shit. He plans to just fuck off if their not going to do anything. Starscream as usual for him takes this as a challenge. And as usual across space and time megatron's response is exactly as good for starscream as you'd expect.

Megatron fucks him up so bad his VOICE changes. Yeah in this continuity Starscream's whiny voice.. is because megatron choked him out. And Starscream was into it asking for more. Was it a love of violence or is starscream discovering he's a sub?

But it's the point to me where D-16.. is gone. He hasn't turned full villian yet.. but he's found himself surronded by likeminded bots whose reaction to them choking out tehir leader is FUCK YEAH! YOU GET EM MEGS. I grant spending at least a decade around starscream is probably a lot for anyone, but it's still nicely horrifying and I like this barbarian portrayl of the decepticons: that they too started from a good place but having to constantly fight while being seen as traitors and being isoilated casued all their warrior instincts to go to a whole lord of the flies situation.

Megatron dosen't get to bask in his new horde or a nearly destroyed starscream who only lives because Orion is there.. and D makes it VERY clear this won't happen again. The mercy thing. Instead Sentinel kidnaps most of them with only Orion and Elita escaping.

You've Found my Breaking Point, Congradulations

So our two heroes are now seperated.. and while it was clear what path D-16 was on, it's Orion's turn to cement his. Oriion.. is not doing so good

He feels this is all his fault, that his constant diving into stuff hurt people and while before he was able to brush it off, the elita one situation REALLY wasn't his fault, enlisting megatron in the race was an attempt to help them, and even ending up in the cybertron's bowels, he figured Sentinel would come from them. Every reckless action and unintended consequence was just a step up. And he wasn't entirely wrong, his actions were well meaning.. but it's here he finally gets the downside and what makes his earlier character work: that relization that yes, he meant well, yes he wasn't wrong.. but he was still dragging everyone along with him when they kept telling him no and while in the long run, even with what he's about ot become, d-18's better for it, Orion finally gets that he can't just keep assuming people will be better off or he knows what's better.

Granted he takes this as

But Elita has changed. She's seen the good that's happened from it and encourages pax... she also rubs in that she's smarter than him, true, but also that as annoying as he could be to her... he had one thing she didn't, that d-16 didn't... hope. He never gave up, just fell into the system. He never stopped beliving in a better world even after finding out it was a lie. He dosen't try to stop sentinel just because "what else am I going to do" or "revenge" he's doing this because he WANTS a better world for everyone. To lift people up. He dragged d-16 into this not because he was blind, but because he wanted to help him. He wanted them both to see the sun. To build tommorow together. And maybe make out a little. His methods weren't great, but he was always trying to do the right thing.

So with that Pax isn't back to his old self he's better, and thinks out his plan for a second.. and it's a brilliant one, for once not just winging it but thinking it out: they need to take down sentinel. They can't broadcast his misdeeds for now, but they can at least stop him. They dont' have enough of an army as only half the guard escaped, so it's time to split up: Elita will lead the rest of the elite guard to free their captured brethren, Orion will go rally the miners who already trust and look up to him. Shockwave asks "Wait why would I do that" and get sa cup of punch in the face as his answer, while Soundwaves like "eh why the fuck not. " I do love shockwave in this film, he's just a pathetic butt monkey aand sounds like bluster blaster. It's glorious.

Meanwhile Megatron gets some MORE trauma. He refuses to bend the knee for Sentinel. Sentinel's plan is to frame the guard as destrutive rebels and megatron as one. And he has a chilling line I love: "The truth is whatever I say it is: it's the truth and i'ts chilling and Hamm does a fantastic job going from egotistical ass to chilling dictator at the drop of a hat, never dropping the smarm. Sentinel is the perfect vilian for this film: a legit threat and meance.. but also someone clearly there to be the starter villian: someone who unites our heroes at first but gets the fuck out of the way for the emotional climax. It makes the whole 'Oh no the heroes idol is evil" twist we've seen a lot. A lotttt, go down smother as while he's evil enough that his final takedown is satisfying, he's not so menacing or compelling you feel he's wasted. He's just comeplling enough

He's also a massive dick and upon seeing Megatron's sticker, he's been wearing a decal of megatronus, he rips it off.. and fucking BRANDS megatron. Yeah there's.. some racial stuff buried in here that as a white dumbass i'm not qualified to talk about. But it is brutal as hell.

SO while Team Elita crashes a train into a buildling to start the climax, because Elita is the best and I wish I had more to say about her other than she's the most badass one there is and Scarlett Johnasen is having a LOT of fun playing her, Orion goes to inspire a line of cameos. There are a LOT with Ironhide and Arcee being the most prominent.

The Miners are chafing under the strips not helped by Dreadwing, their supervisor and the dickbag who demoted Elita earlier and who in general is a bullying asshat. So naturally Optimus easily deals with him with a punch to the face. It's a nice moment that says a lot with just one punch: Optimus has problems FAR BIGGER than one petty asshole and has grown, literally and metaphorcially past him.

Orion having a t-cog and easily taking out the local bully is enough to get everyone to listen and he gives his first true rousing speech, revealing the truth, admitting they dont' have much reason to belivie him, but beliving ther'es something better.. there has to be and Sentinel has no right ot take it: So with mining equipment and jetpacks, our hero leads the future autobots. AI am a bit iffy about all the autobots being in one group and the decipticons in another, but the sequel could help flesh it out and I get they only had 90 minute sto pack a lot in. One is VERY overstuffed and takes place over maybe two days tops. A lot happens.. but it all feels resonable and well set up: D-16 changes entirely but it's hard to say megatron wasn't lurking under the surfance and a LOT of trauma in less than a day didn't change him. Likewise Optimus and Megatron rising as leaders.. makes perfect sense; The Guard had spent years hiding and stewing and suddenly a new kid comes along with more o fa vision than ducking and weaving and easily chokes out the guy who was likely only leader because he killed a few people who said no to that. He then refuses to bow to sentinel despite knowing what this might means an dkeeps getting up.

Meanwhile Optimus leads not through badassery.. but hope. He puts his dreamer nature to good use and instead of inspiring his troops thorugh violence, inspires them. And because Oriion was already a decent guy who instead of being seen as a weird outcast, was seen as a guy who did what they wished they could, a nice turn of that usual "never accepted weirdo" thing we get, because he was simply a good perosn.. people listen.

So here comes the climax.

Throw My Better Self Overboard, Shoot At Him When He Comes Up for Air

So we get our big climactic battle as our untied rebel forces eat the rich while Elita squares off with Airachnid. I hadn't brought up Airachnid because her plot relevance for most of the movie is to stand around and look menacing, being Sentinel's liutiennt. And I like how they went for something diffrent: true to the name she's part modern helicopter, part spider and usies her spider legs to brutally tear into foes, leaping on them and tearing them to shreds. While the rest of Sentinels mooks, various mass produced drones ala the ones Megatron has in prime, go down easily when fighting Alpha trion she took him down and let sentinel finish him off later because of course he wanted to gloat.

So while the final battle goes down to the two female robots of importance duking it out, it still works as it makes sense: Elita has quickly become the autobots bruiser and Optimus second in command, and Sentinel is busy gloating to his captives. Rather than the cliched "well the women must fight because a man punching her would be too mucH" it feels like a fight between each sides seconds that's also brutal and well done.

Orion however has a plan and while he and an ungreatful B-17 fight Sentinel, who reveals he took Megatronius cog, he has elita grab airachnid as she showed off her creepy camera head before... and thus he realizes she has incriminating footage. So while Bumblbee finds he has knife hands and helps clear the way, our heroes team up.. kinda.

I also have to give it to the fighting here: Something Cooley made sure to include was transforming. In most continuites the transforming is used maybe to ram a fucker and most fighting is as the robots. Here ther'es a lot of transforming in combat: Ariachind uses her alt mode to gain advantage as it can fly nad elita's can't. Sentinel uses his massive jet form's firepower to even the odds before diving back into bot mode. D-16 RAMS into the fucker with his tank mode, uses it frequently for blasting and easily switches back into combat. It's fluid, gorgeous and really takes advantage of the trasnforming to turn every fight into a spectacle.

While D-16 fights Sentinel, Orion inacts his plan: hyjack the radio tower and er.. slam Airachnids face into the console therebye getting the footage he needs.

Sentinel's outed as a bad guy, everythin'gs fine? right? right? Right D-16.. whose inching towards sentinel and... oh... oh no.

So Orion rushes to prevent his friend from doing a murder, whiel Sentinel pathetically crawls away. He begs him not to do this, that this isn't the right way.. but it won't work this time. Pax says the wrong thing: "Don't be like sentinel". He threatnes pax to move and pax instead jumps int he way.. and is shot , barely alive. And thus.. two bots die... D-16 throws Orion Pax into the core of the planet "I'm done saving you". One wanted war, to keep raging forever against a planet that wronged him the other wanted to fix tha tplanet and restore it. In the end it was two roads that simply HAD to diverge but damn do they make it painful. You see just how much these two meant, how much good they acomplished..b ut ultimately B-17 can't let go of his rage and pain.. and he shoudln't.. not entirely. He can still feel hurt and rageful.. but it's in trying to tear the rest of the world down where he failed.

Sometimes the world DOES need to burn, but if you don't think about the people who get hurt, then your in the wrong.

Where You Go Once You Arrive, Where We Go Once We Arrive

The next scene.. is the films best... a truly striking back and forth series of cuts as we see the true ascendance, the birth of megatron and optimus prime given all the gravitas 40 years of stories, conuities and tellings of these two's clash.

Megatron gives a firey horrifying speech as he rips Sentinel in half. The film is unflinching with hit's violence. It did have to cut around things.. but all that did was have cooley let your mind fill in the gaps. For a family film, this is fucking brutal, and it all crecnedoes with a bot getting ripped in half. likely being robots gave them some leeway, but it's still horrifying to see. I don't feel bad for sentinel he fucking deserved it but Megatron giving him a mortal kombat fatality then going on to scream about he's going to burn iacon down, destroy every last person loyal to sentinel to burn the world no matter who gets hurt... it underlines Optimus point. While Sentinel defeintly deserved to die, this dosen't fix anything. This dosen't change iacon for the better, it just replaces a tyrant who made the trains run on time and again deserved his mortal kombat fatality, with one who thinks he's doing the right thing while killing as many people as he has to to do it. Neither version of this is good but Megatron is too blinded by trauma to see that and thus has become something almost as bad as what left.

Thankfully as Megatron rises... so too does another. As he falls into the core, his body dead.... Orion Pax meets the primes, all 12 showing up.. with Alpha Trion himself anointing our hero. This could easily be iffy: chosen one narratives aren't nearly as common these days for a reason and this is the same year where Dune Part 2 showed just how bad that could go based on a book all the way back in the 60s, just taking out the racisim and sexism.

So instead Orion Pax becomes robot jesus this time not because destiny says so.. but simply because he acted well. He acted nobly, selfishless and laid his life down and thus he not only rises from the dead but gets an upgrade: a cool ax ehe does the thor thing with , which had to be intetional, able to take out a hudnered bad guys with swords or at least all three main decipticons with only megatron giving him trouble.

So before our climactic breakup, le'ts talk about primus. Some consider the idea Primus is a two faced prick: he made the matrix of leadership, the source of cybertron's energon in this continuity and why they have to mine without it, not feel so good and go away into dust robbing sentinel of it.

Me... I think it wasn't the smartest move given Sentinel then created a slave race to do the job and it didn't really stop him.. but my take is that it was all primus COULD do. Primus did create the primes to guard cybertron, but that was right after becoming the planet and space god. My honest interpretation, one backed up by talking to brotoman is that primus isn't as fully cognizant without the matrix. In the war for cybertron duology, Primus created the matrix as a way for it to be with the rest of cybertron kind as it really coudln't commuincate outside it's core. If eel that's the same here: that it can only do so much and without the matrix as a conduit, all it could do was thrash blindly, hence the storms of the surface and the mines shifting horribly. THe mines woul dbe closer to cybertrons core, giving him more dexterity. Prime fell directly into a shaft leading down int oCybertron's bowels and into it's core, which gave Primus a chance to look him over, see what he did. If you notice primus doesn't even talk directly. He has to use alpha trion's ghost. Primus transformation into cybertron likely put him beyond most cybertronians and unlike say Unicron if he shows up, please let him show up, he can't go back and forth.

Now that's just my interpretation but it's something I like about the film: the world's well built and set up.. but it dosen't explain everything. It leaves some ambguity: where the primes as perfect as they seemed or was sentinel right to resent them, even if

Did Alpha Trion know the risks he was unleashing with megatron? We don't know, and tha'ts okay. And yes the sequels probably will clear some of this up if we get them, but it's still something really neat to think about.

For now we get an awesome fight with Optimus ending the thing by slicing Megatron's fusion canon. He commands him to leave: he tried to conquer cybertron, killed a man and broke Optimus' heart in the process. Megatron bitterly leaves setting up a sequel that please please please god let us have some form of sequel, and takes the gaurd with him.

This leaves optimus in charge, and their paths set: Optimus turns the miners into the autobots and gives them their cogs back, restoring cybertron.. and Megatron... brands his new peeps the decepticons. THey are not being being decieved and they will open cybertrons eyes and close optimus'. It's a truly painful but well done ending with both rising : Optimus prepares to hold off the quintsions.. and Megatron prepares to do what he planned to do in the first plac.e. burn it down. They were close but now... the war begins.

The One and Only One

Transformers One is a masterpiece, well worth a look in theaters. I'ts a feast ofr the eyes. But it's it' semotinal core that makes it: following two young men as one goes from reckless dreamer to real leader, with his voice lowering the right octaves, and the other going from a stickler for the rules to a radical planning to kill as many people as he has to to save cybertron from hitself. One is a heartfelt epic, with eye popping colors, great social commentary and a hell of an emotional core. This is the best of the transformers films i've seen, probably not a stretch to say the best given it lacks robot testicles or a man waving around a piece of paper saying he can fuck teenagers, but still a truly great film I hope Paramount gives a sequel even if it dosen't do gangbusters. In a year with maybe three animated films i've wanted to see theatrically, this was a welcome treat and is one of the best transformers stories. Go see it, thanks for reading and remmeber you can win if you dare.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

What goes on during movie night ?

Ooh okay so movie night:

It's just absurdly hard to decide what to watch. Movies are brutal for the family. No one likes the same things, but they somehow always have fun? They have to institute a family decision making process, and this is how it goes:

It's in order of age. Jake (1), Neytiri (2), Spider (3), Neteyam (4), Kiri (5), Lo'ak (6), and Tuk (7). (Mo'at is 8 when she is around, and when she is she somehow always wins).

Whenever a decision needs to be made, Jake has Neteyam have Siri (Jake does not understand how to use Siri) pick a number between 1 and 7 and whoever's number it lands on makes the decision. This ruling is absolutely final, and the only rules are that parents can overrule for safety and that the same number can't be picked back to back.

Neytiri wins a suspicious amount of time. It's simply Eywa's will. When Neytiri wins they watch a lot of documentaries and classic rom coms. Jake always complains the loudest to annoy her, but then him and Neyetam are on the ground on the floor up close fascinated by the horror of US prison system or by the absurdity of 27 Dresses.

Jake, in contrast, almost never wins. When he does it's always the worst comedy ever but like, the most fun night. It's Grown Ups 2 or The Naked Gun, and Neytiri is trying so hard not to laugh in the corner while covering Tuk's ears and glaring at Lo'ak when he laughs at the jokes.

Lo'ak only wants to watch terrible action movies. This is everyone's favorite night lowkey. No one would ever admit it, but the movies are such a brain break, and they love how much they can annoy Lo'ak during them. They're all munching on popcorn and lounging on the couch absolutely destroying the logistics of The Fast and The Furious.

Neteyam, through a mouthful of popcorn: How would one car cushion the fall of another car?

Spider, throwing m&ms into Kiri's mouth: Oh, it wouldn't, that's a double car pancake.

Lo'ak: IT'S JUST A MOVIE, MY GOD.

Jake, intercepting an m&m: As long as you don't think you can drive off of a helicopter, son.

Kiri: well, you could, right, you just wouldn't live.

Lo'ak: PLEASE.

Tuk wins and they watch a classic Disney/Pixar film. No one pretends to hate these nights. Everyone loves Encanto and Moana. Jake is a huge Olaf fan. Spider and Lo'ak's remote-microphone renditions of every song in Camp Rock are legendary. Everyone has joined in at some point, by the end of the movie the family are all exhausted and sweaty and the amount of blackmail on Jake's phone is wild.

Neteyam's picks are always extremely snobby Oscar level A24 films. Tuk always falls asleep. Lo'ak and Jake play games on their phones and miss things and then ask stupid questions and it drives Neteyam insane. He's never angrier than when Jake asks the dumbest question ever that was answered earlier during the peak moment of Three Billboards.

Kiri's picks are super pretty nature documentaries. These nights are instant nap time for Jake, Lo'ak, and Tuk, piled on top of each other on the couch. Spider, Kiri, Neytiri and Neteyam share a carton of ice cream right in front of the tv and marvel at the pretty animals. One time when they are all older teenagers, Lo'ak and Spider decide to take edibles before this endeavor and Jake catches them so they give him one as a bribe and the three of them cry when a lion kills a zebra. It is very obvious but also very funny to everyone else. Also Jake ratted them out to Neytiri right away but said "Babe, they included me! ☺️" so Neytiri let it happen.

Spider's picks are crazy. He's all over the place. For a long time post his adoption, when they were little, he picks whatever movie the person he's felt he most recently pissed off he thinks would like best. Lo'ak discovers this quickly and begins to start a fight with him right before movie night lol. Neytiri and Jake were very suspicious when Spider was like "no I actually want to watch Jackass and it's not because you grounded me yesterday, Jake." Eventually he does pick his own stuff (he likes Homeward Bound and Cheaper by the Dozen) but sometimes he does still pick what his siblings want.

[nerds-yearbook]

Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Kahn (originally titled The Vengeance of Kahn, but was changed when Star Wars Return of the Jedi was set to be titled Revenge of the Jedi) premiered on June 4, 1982. While many consider Star Trek the Motion Picture one of the worst of the franchise, it's sequel is often cited as one of the best. Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry was basically removed from involvement save for name only, so it was probably no surprise he was not a fan of the film. He would later come into further conflict with the studio with antics and behind the scenes drama on Star Trek the Next Generation TV series. The movie was a continuation from an episode of the original series "Space Seed" (season 1, episode 22, February 16, 1967, written by Gene L Coon and Carey Wilber, Directed by Marc Daniels). In the episode, the crew of the Enterprise awoke Khan Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban) and his crew of the SS Botany Bay after approximately 200 years of suspended animation. They realized Kahn and his people were products of genetic experimentation that lead to the Eugenics Wars of the 1990s. After a failed mutiny, Kirk exiled Kahn, his crew, Star Fleet officer Lt. Marla McGivers (Madlyn Rhue) and the Botany Bay to the planet Ceti Alpha V. It was learned that since being left there that Ceti Alpha VI exploded turning Ceti Alpha V into a wasteland. Many were killed by the event and others were killed by Ceti eels, including McGivers, who had become Kahn's wife. Kahn managed to capture Captain Clark Terrel (Paul Windfield) and Pavel Chekov (Walter Koenig) and take control of the USS Reliant. Kahn then set off to try to take control of the Genesis Device that was being developed for the purpose of terraforming planets. The project was lead by one of Kirk's ex-lovers Dr Carol Marcus (Bebi Besch) and their son Marcus (Merrit Butrick). When Kirk learned they were in danger, he took comand of the USS Enterprise, which was on a training mission. He was joined by his old crew Mr Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Leonard "Bones" McCoy (DeForest Kelley), Montgomery "Scotty" Scott (James Doohan), Hikaru Sulu (George Takei), Lt Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) as well as new member Saavik (Kristy Alley). In their clashes with Kahn, the Enterprise was damaged leading to the deaths of Scotty's nephew (Ike Eisenmann) and Mr Spock (a large part of why Nimoy agreed to return for the sequel). A new planet was also created. This film was cited as having one of the first complete computer generated scenes in a movie, which was accomplished by the company that would become Pixar. ("Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn)

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

I genuinely think Pixar is fucked if they see this as the path forward. The company was built on rich, imaginative, original storytelling; to turn that company into a Call of Duty-esque sequel churning factory because two of its best films in years didn’t make a Trillion dollars is greedy at best and lethally stupid at worst.

[aquaburst3]

I watched Schaffrillas' new video. The Pixar CEO said something along the lines of, "Our movies should be less about a director's life story and more appealing to the masses." That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard! I think Dana Terrace put it best, “There’s something disgusting about telling directors, writers, and artists their experiences and inspirations aren’t “appealing” enough for the masses”.

It also makes no fucking sense. You're telling me that Pixar is seeing their recent movies preform like trash and think that instead of improving and making BETTER movies, they should instead make more sequels for existing IPs because people will pay regardless of the quality? That’s bs. Plus, Lightyear was their worst performing movie, and that was a spinoff. Turning Red, Elemental and Luca all performed better than it.

It's also extremely short sighted. A lot of these popular IPs are over 20 years old. There will come a point in time when Disney can't shill Frozen anymore, because it would be seen as "old" by kids and not connect with them. Again, they need to come up with original story ideas like Encanto and Lilo & Stitch or adapting other fairy tales, not become Illuminations. The same goes for Pixar.

I honestly feel like a lot of the media giants like Disney are screwing themselves over while indie animation is on the rise. Say what you will about shit like Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, but at least they are original and quite popular. Same goes for Digital Circus and that one cat series. That's because you can tell the writers are passionate about the stories they are telling.

The age we're in now reminds me of the 80s with Don Bluth in a lot of ways, except Vivzie and the other indie creators never worked for Disney. A time when Disney struggled, but underdogs with original visions were the ones on top. It's only a matter of time before these shows make Disney nervous and push it in a better direction.

[oliverreedmasterass]

GVF Read Thirst Tweets crackfic?

Thirst Tweets

Notes: an INSANELY MASSIVE THANK YOU to @jmkho for the thirst tweets and username suggestions - your ability to churn these out was super impressive

Words: 2k

Warnings: language, mildly sexual content

“Hey, we are Greta Van Fleet,” the band said in unison in front of the camera, Jake and Josh perched on stools and Danny and Sam standing behind them. 

“And today,” Sam took over, “we’re here with Buzzfeed to read some thirst tweets.” 

“What the hell is a thirst tweet?” Josh turned around to ask Danny. 

“Oh boy, you’re in for a surprise,” Danny shook his head at him. 

“I’m afraid,” Josh announced to the camera. 

One of the set PAs leaned over to hand Jake the large big gulp mug filled to the brim with folded pieces of paper. 

“Oh, thank you,” he told the woman, “How did you know I was feeling parched?” 

Sam turned around and grabbed the cup from Jake, which left him with a large pout. 

“I want to start,” Sam declared. He shoved his hand into the cup to retrieve a slip of paper and took his sweet time unfolding it while the rest of the band watched. With the paper finally open, he cleared his throat and pretended to adjust a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose. 

“This is from brokenballs_gvf. Josh Kiszka is the most perfect human ever. I love him so much.” Sam took a break to look up at the camera. “Aw, that’s nice.” 

In front of him, Josh put a hand over his heart. 

“I like thirst tweets.”

“Oh, there’s a bit more,” Sam commented as he looked back down at the paper. “I wish I could rub his nipples and lick cheese off his butt.” 

“Wow, we’re diving straight into the deep end,” Danny said, his eyes wide and face pale.

Josh whirled around and snatched the paper from Sam, quickly scanning over it with eyes like saucers. His face grew progressively more red as it dawned on him that what Sam had read aloud was actually real. 

“What the fuck?” he whispered. “Cheese on my butt?  Why would that be there?” 

“That tweet is only acceptable if we get confirmation on what kind of cheese Josh is putting back there,” Jake decided. “I’ll accept brie, but anything sliced is off the table.” 

“Are all of these tweets like that?” Josh asked Sam, looking beyond confused. “Kind but troubling?” 

Before Sam could answer, Josh grabbed his own slip of paper and read it over, stopped with a deep frown, and then read it again. 

“You have to read it aloud,” Sam leaned into Josh’s side. “The people need to know. Speak the truth, brother.”  

“Jake Kiszka is built like a Pixar mom?” Josh spoke directly into the camera. Behind him, Danny let out a loud snort. “I don’t get it,” Josh looked around at his bandmates. “Is that a bad thing? What’s a Pixar mom?” Jake took the slip of paper from Josh and skimmed it over. 

“It means I have a fat ass, Josh,” Jake told him, and then looked towards the camera, his face slightly flushed. “Thank you for that one, jakeslefttit1996. I’ve worked hard for my cake, and I’ll leave it at that.” 

“Jake’s cakes, get that on a shirt,” Sam pointed at the camera. 

“Let me read one,” Danny spoke up, pulling the big gulp mug away from Josh, who still looked to be in a daze, like he wasn’t grasping a single ounce of reality. While Danny uncurled his piece of paper, he shot Sam a goofy grin. “This takes me back to our Addressing Your Questions and Concerns video when I was ripping all those papers.” 

“We should have handcuffed ourselves together again,” Sam faked a pout. 

“Wait, so, when they say Pixar mom, do they mean like Mrs. Incredible?” Josh asked. Danny ignored him and looked down at the paper. 

“Here goes nothing,” he said, bracing himself for the worst. “This is from whenthepantiesfall. Wow, this is gonna be one hell of a tweet. Okay, uh, Sam Kiszka, slap me like you slap your bass. On my face or ass…I don’t care which.” 

Sam’s face was blank as he tried to process the words that had just come out of his best friend’s mouth. Jake, Josh, and Danny all turned to face Sam since he was uncharacteristically silent, and took note that he looked like his brain was rebooting. Danny snapped his fingers in front of his face a few times and gave Sam a firm shake. Sam jerked back to life and grabbed the cup from Danny. 

“Let’s read another one.” 

“Hey!” Jake barked, “it’s my turn.” 

Sam tossed the big gulp mug at his older brother and then shook his head as if trying to erase the previously read thirst tweet from his mind. Jake took his sweet time swirling his hand around the mug, trying to retrieve the perfect piece of paper, and finally selected one with a loud “aha!” 

“I hope this one breaks Sam again,” he said with a wide grin. “Danny_wags_right_elbow says, I want to gnaw on Danny Wagner’s huge ass hands like they’re a big old renaissance faire turkey thigh.” 

“Cannibalism?” Josh’s head was cocked far to the side. “Our fans are into that?” 

“They’re just horny, Josh,” Danny sighed. “They don’t actually want to eat me.” 

“Well…” Sam snapped back to life so he could beg to differ. Danny shook his head at him, which stopped Sam from saying anything more. Jake was looking back and forth between the slip of paper and Danny’s hands, nodding his head as if he understood where danny_wags_right_elbow was coming from. 

“But why would anyone put this online? They do know that other people see this, right?” Josh asked around. 

Sam disregarded Josh’s questions and accepted a slip of paper that Jake was holding out to him. 

“I think you’ll appreciate this one, Josh,” Jake told his brother. 

“I want Josh Kiszka to rearrange my chakras…” Sam read.

“Okay, that’s normal and I respect that,” Josh nodded back at Sam. 

“...And my organs,” Sam finished the thirst tweet. 

Josh immediately grabbed his head in his hands with a groan and leaned forward so he was curled in a ball on his stool. Jake let out a chortle and gave Josh’s back a few hefty pats. 

“There, there, the thirst tweets won’t hurt you,” Jake cooed. 

“Everything you post online is permanent,” Josh groaned into his hands. “Who is saying this to me? Do I know them?” 

“Do you know anyone called ageof_rattail69?” Sam asked Josh. 

“Who are these people?” Josh moaned. 

“Our adoring fans, of course,” Danny poked fun. “This is just how they express their admiration for us. Sure, it’s a bit unconventional, but I think it’s touching.” 

“You should read this one, Josh,” Jake told his brother as he wiggled one of the papers in front of Josh’s head. Josh looked like that was the last thing he wanted to do, but curiosity got the better of him as he looked up and cautiously grabbed the paper. 

He stared down at the text and read loudly, “I want Josh Kiszka to [redacted] [redacted] me in my [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] then he can [redacted] [redacted] upside down [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] and use his hand to [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] and then punch my [redacted] [redacted].”

As Josh released a line of expletives not meant for the innocent ear, Jake and Danny were in tears. Sam, on the other hand, looked beyond disturbed and was simply staring directly into the camera, shaking his head. 

“Modern day poetry!” Jake cackled. “Shakespeare wishes he could write something as good as that!” 

Beside him, Josh started clawing at his tongue. 

“Why did our manager sign us up for this shit?” he whispered to Danny, who shrugged in return. “This is atrocious.” 

“Lighten up,” Danny told him. “This is meant to be funny. See?” 

Danny grabbed another paper. 

“Yewhadme says, hey Danny Wagner, I know a place with holes where you can have fun that isn’t a golf course.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Sam coughed. 

“Oh, that’s a good one,” Jake commented. “Whoever wrote that one is brilliant.” 

“Maybe that was a bad example,” Danny murmured as he scrunched the piece of paper into a ball and tossed it over his shoulder. “Let me try another one. Erm, Daniel Jean Louise Marie Wagner-”

“Who?” Josh cut in. 

“I, uh, think that’s what the fans call me from time to time,” Danny softly explained. 

“But that’s not your name,” Josh stared blankly back at him. 

“You’re having a hard time today,” Sam took his turn to pat Josh on the back. Josh, in return, furrowed his brow and seemed to be thinking hard about a laundry list of things. 

“Daniel Jean Louise Marie Wagner,” Danny repeated himself, “please bend me over a desk and ram - ooh, I don’t think I should finish that one. I mean, that could be arranged later, @playbarbs,” he said with a wink. “But still, damn.” 

Sam shook his head at his friend in awe. 

“We’ve hardly read any tweets about me,” Jake realized with a deep frown. “Am I not sexy enough?” 

“There has to be another one in there,”  Danny assured Jake. “We can do a speed round before we find one of yours.”

“This is gonna drive me over the edge,” Josh warned them. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” 

“Josh Kiszka, play me like a harmonica,” Danny read. Josh’s eyes bugged out. 

“I love Sam Kiszka but my god, going barefoot in the street is cursed. I’d still let him hit it though,” Jake went next. 

“I like to air them out, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Sam tried to defend himself. 

“No need to get upset, it doesn’t sound like it’s a deal breaker,” Danny nudged him in the side with a grin. He held a paper up to Sam, who snatched it away from him. 

“Danny Wagner is sculpted like a Greek god. Send tweet.” 

“That’s actually a good one,” Josh chimed in. “I agree with that.” 

“I found one!” Jake called out in triumph. “I want to be absolutely wrecked by Jake Kiszka.” Jake popped the collar on his button-up shirt a bit and stood to his feet so he could slowly approach the camera with a lustful stare. “I’d wreck you like a ship out on the stormy seas any day, baby.” Even though the cameraman motioned for him to back up, Jake moved to the lens and planted a large, juicy smooch on it. 

“Blegh,” Josh groaned from behind him. “Quit spreading your cooties, Jake.” 

“I’m a helpless romantic, so sue me,” Jake called back. 

“There’s one left in here!” Sam yelled over Jake and Josh’s bickering. “Thank god,” he added. “Nose goes on who reads it!” 

Jake slammed his hand up to his nose and, likewise, Danny and Sam followed suit. That left Josh sitting on his stool, whirling around, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

“What?” he asked, starting to sound like a broken record. 

“Take it away, Josh,” Sam said, dropping the last piece of paper into Josh’s open hands. Josh stared down at it and blew out a long sigh. 

“The last one,” he told himself, as a kind of motivation to power through. Danny did a drumroll on his legs. 

“From CaptainJaket: hey Greta Van Fleet, let me eat that ass like a [redacted] sausage McGriddle with extra maple syrup, I’d tear that [redacted] up, I’d say SLORMP on that [redacted] you feel me? Your knees could be the apple pie on the side I’d munch munch that [redacted] and wash it down with a cold glass of my tears.”

The four men looked around at each other in a stunned silence. Josh slowly let the piece of paper fall to the ground between his feet. Jake found that his mouth was wide open, and Danny’s eyebrows were raised so high, they disappeared above his bangs. Sam stomped off the sound stage, let himself outside the studio to his car, and drove away. 

Suddenly, Josh kicked his feet up and started to do a belly laugh while clapping his hands together. Danny and Jake both watched him in awe. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Jake asked, kicking Josh’s foot to get his attention. 

“I still have no clue what a thirst tweet is,” Josh explained, “but if it’s anything remotely close to whatever the fuck that was, you can call me a fan.”

Jake and Danny exchanged an exasperated glance and threw their arms up in the air. 

“I’m gonna call this a wrap,” the producer decided from behind the camera.

[courtneysmovieblog]

"Inside Out 2": It's okay to be *not* okay

Critics can gripe about Disney/Pixar making endless sequels and how their original stuff isn't as good as it used to be. But if you spend too much time nitpicking about everything, you'll fail to truly enjoy anything that's good.

And that, ironically, is a perfect parallel to the lessons we get in Inside Out 2.

We all knew what was coming at the end of Inside Out when we saw the big red "puberty" alarm. Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Fear (Tony Hale), Anger (Lewis Black), and Disgust (Liza Lapira) didn't think the big red "puberty" button was a big deal. But now that Riley's a teenager, puberty rears its ugly head. The control board is messed up and everything is changing. Worst of all, Anxiety (voiced by Maya Hawke) and a bunch of other "complex" emotions move in.

Anxiety is convinced she knows what is best for Riley, who is at hockey camp trying to make new friends and qualify for her high school team. But Anxiety's good intentions spiral out of control, and it's up to Joy and the gang to help Riley regain her sense of self (literally).

Maya Hawke's Anxiety is getting the lion's share of praise, and it is well-earned. We all knew from the minute we saw her in the trailer she was going to steal the show. Yet don't count out other delightful, relatable emotions like Envy (Ayo Edebiri), Embarrassment (Paul Walter Hauser) and the delightfully snarky Ennui (Adele Excarchopoulos).

Rest assured, this sequel isn't a soulless cash grab. Everyone that has lived through their teen years--or is still struggling with issues--will be able to relate to the way Anxiety just takes over everything. However, Anxiety isn't the only problem: once again, it's Joy and her tendency to repress anything that she deems negative that causes major problems for everyone. Poehler shines once again as the endlessly perky Joy, yet it is strangely satisfying when she finally breaks down and admits how hard it is to try to be positive all the time. Because yeah, it really is!

Much as been made out of Tony Hale and Liza Lampira replacing Bill Hader and Mindy Kaling as Fear and Disgust. Lampira jumps into the part so seamlessly that you can barely tell the difference. Hale, on the other hand is more noticeable. He does a good job, I just still prefer Bill Hader on principle.

And Lewis Black's Anger? What can I say, he's still my favorite!

Inside Out 2 builds on everything we learned in the first movie. We not only have to let ourselves be sad when necessary, we have to make peace with all the anxious, messy parts of ourselves. We can't stop anxiety, we have to live with it by dealing with the things we can control. And don't forget to really enjoy the little things in life.

Does it feel like the same lesson? Perhaps. But damn it, Disney and Pixar can still make us well up every time they each it to us.

9 out of 10

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I’m curious, Do you have a favorite timeline/world state from among all the different aus you’ve written over the years? Which ones do you think ended up with the best/happiest world? Or the worst world? Lol sorry if I’m coming off as a reading comprehension test…I’m bad at wording things without being too specific but I’m just interested to know what reflections you may have on your body of AU work. There’s so much of it by now! If you’d like to share.

Hmmm.

If I had to choose a favorite AU as in "I like how it came out," it'd probably be the one where Tom and Melissa escape together, or the Into the Spider-Verse style AU. Since I take an evil delight in creatively misinterpreting prompts, I probably had the most fun when writing the juvie hall AU and the Pixar AU — those both kind of wrote themselves. On the other end of the spectrum, the one where Marco is Deaf and the one where Jake's stuck as a tiger were fun because they required more background work, but interesting background work — both prompts happened to be right in my Goldilocks zone of being close to my own experience and relatively easy for me to research, where Jake being stuck as an eel or Marco being blind wouldn't have been.

I guess I don't have a favorite or least-favorite outcome. I honestly prefer the canon ending to any one that I've written. And if I dislike a possible ending (e.g. everyone ending up controllers) then I simply don't write it.