#pistol fx

[hoodienanami]

"Ruffians like you excite me."

i have pretty mixed feelings on Danny Boyle's Pistol as a whole but i really like this moment where Steve Jones first meets Malcolm McLaren and Vivienne Westwood. playing Je t'aime moi non plus (the erotic French song famously banned from Top Of The Pops due to the moaning in it being interpreted as the sounds of an orgasm) as McLaren's interest in Jones is piqued- and as Jones starts talking about the gay sex he's had- is such a stroke of genius, makes me think about the quote in England's Dreaming where McLaren describes Jones as having 'seduced' him

Thomas Brodie-Sangster is incredible as McLaren. hes got all of his mannerisms down perfectly and i love how he stalks around Toby Wallace's Jones like a cat circling its prey. those two have such wonderful chemistry in this show it's hard not to want to clip all of their scenes together. Sangster is able to make McLaren seem like a fatherly figure towards Jones while also making him seem deeply untrustworthy. a perfect portrayal imo

Talulah Riley is also great here, she really embodies the parental strictness that Westwood was known for

and don't even get me started on how McLaren is wearing the gay cowboys shirt while all of this is happening...

[00mewtwo00]

Sid Vicious

[asexpistol]

Gif by me

[vxnomoxz]

Johnny *calming Sid down* Rotten

[the-fiction-witch]

Sweetheart

Media - Pistol (Disney plus / FX) Character - Malcolm Mclaren Couple - Malcolm X Reader Reader - Mya Rating - 18 + masturbation/ nudity/ eating out/ fingering/ pinv/ fullsex/ Word Count - 1881

Mya had been visiting Malcolm in his new apartment since moving out of the one he shared with viv. Given they had broken up, she had mostly just come to bug and annoy him but he was so deep in his paperwork that he barely noticed her at all.

"hey, Malcolm?" She asked as she lounged on his chair

Malcolm's eyes flickered up momentarily before refocusing on the papers, his fingers moving swiftly across the papers as he contemplated. “Mmm-hmm?” he muttered absently, His dark hair fell across his forehead, framing his intense expression.

"... How often do you masturbate?" She asked without any built-up at all like she was just asking about the weather,

Malcolm's gaze snapped towards Mya, his eyes narrowing slightly as he raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think that's any of your business?” he drawled, setting down his papers and leaning back in his chair, his hands clasped behind his head. A sly smile spread across his face as he leaned forward once more, his voice taking on a flirtatious tone. “Besides, I'm pretty sure it's none of anyone's business... unless you're offering to join me.”

"I'm curious. Please I wanna know.”

Malcolm chuckled low in his throat, his eyes glinting with amusement as he leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers together. “Oh, curiosity's a mighty fine thing... especially when it comes to something as deliciously private as my masturbation habits.” He paused, letting the silence hang between them for a moment before continuing. “As for how often... well, I'd say it's whenever the mood strikes me. Which is probably more often than you'd care to admit, considering the way you're staring at me right now.” His gaze locked onto hers, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. “So, what's really driving your curiosity, sweetheart?”

"just trying to get you to talk to me. I figured that was a good question." She explained "... When you do it? Do you use your hand or you got some kinda sexy flesh light under your bed?"

Malcolm's eyes flashed with delight, his lips curling up into a wicked grin as he shook his head, chuckling softly. “Oh, you want to know the details, huh? Well, I suppose I can indulge you.” He leaned forward, his voice taking on a conspiratorial tone, his words dripping with sensuality. “When I do it... usually late at night, after a long day. I find myself lying in bed, surrounded by the quiet darkness, and my mind starts wandering…” His gaze drifted off, lost in thought for a moment before snapping back to Mya's eager face. Malcolm's eyes seemed to glaze over, his pupils dilating as he continued, his voice taking on a hypnotic quality. “It's then that I reach beneath the covers, feeling for the familiar weight of my cock... stroking it gently, watching as my hand moves up and down, creating friction against my skin.” He paused, his chest rising and falling with each slow breath, his voice dripping with sensuality. “And sometimes... I imagine someone else there with me. Someone who can see me, touch me, taste me…” His gaze locked onto Mya's, his eyes burning with intensity as he leaned in closer, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I don't need to imagine you, sweetheart. You're right here with me. Watching me. Waiting for me.” Malcolm's fingers brushed against the edge of his jeans, his thumb tracing the outline of his zipper, his movements deliberate and calculated.

she giggled not noticing his hand moving below the table

Malcolm put back a groan feeling himself getting hard. Looking at mya’s short skirt and low-cut top noticing for the first time since she got here just how good she looked.

"Oooh sounds like fun. Plus you do live alone now so I imagine you do it a lot... Plus your a man and you just kinda jerk off wherever. I can't stupid roommates and requiring like ten minutes of prep and a vibrator on full battery" she explained

Malcolm's eyes widened, his face flushing with arousal as he quickly glanced away, attempting to compose himself. His hand still rested on his lap, but he made a conscious effort to keep it still, trying to appear nonchalant despite the growing bulge in his pants. He cleared his throat, attempting to steer the conversation back on track, though his voice betrayed a hint of huskiness. “Yeah... well... I guess that's true. But hey, being a man has its perks, right? No prep is required, and no batteries are needed... Just pure, unadulterated pleasure.” Malcolm's gaze drifted back to Mya, his eyes locking onto hers with a newfound intensity. He leaned over the table, his voice taking on a seductive tone, his words dripping with promise. “You know, I think I've had enough talk for tonight. Don't you agree, sweetheart? It's time we moved on to more...hands-on activities.”

"I don't wanna help with paperwork Malcolm." She said for what felt like the nine millionth time today. Not picking up on his hinting. She briefly jumped out the chair and went to her handbag bending over to find something unknowingly flashing Malcolm her white lace panties

Malcolm's eyes snapped towards Mya, his gaze fixed on the tantalizing sight of her lace panties. A low growl rumbled in the back of his throat as he felt his arousal spike, his body tensing with desire. For a moment, he forgot all about paperwork, forgot about everything except the vision of Mya's underwear clinging to her curves. His eyes roamed over her hips, his mind racing with possibilities. Slowly, he stood up from his chair, his movements fluid and predatory. He took a step closer to Mya, his eyes never leaving hers, his voice low and husky. without warning for her or really himself he grabbed her hips and pulled Mya against him. Rubbing his erection against her ass "Oh fuck- Mya! Uuhhh fucking hell!" He groans almost humping her already

"Whoa! Malcolm what the hell!" She gasped unable to hold back a laugh

Malcolm's hands slipped down to cup Mya's cheeks, his fingers digging gently into the flesh as he held her in place. He ground his hips against hers, the friction sending shivers of pleasure through his body. “Mya, baby...you feel so good,” he whispered, his lips brushing against her ear. “I love the way you fit against me.” He reached around and palmed her breast, his thumb flicking over her nipple through the fabric of her shirt. The sensation sent a jolt of electricity through him, and he couldn't help but thrust harder against her.

she softly moaned letting him kiss and bite her neck as he uncontrollably ran his hands all over her "humm somebodies more desperate then he let on" she smirked grinding back against him

Malcolm's teeth sank deeper into her skin, his tongue tracing the curve of her neck as he savored the taste of her. His hands roamed freely over her body, claiming every inch of her as his own. “Hmm, someone's got a point there,” he murmured, his voice husky with desire. He pulled back, his eyes blazing with hunger as he gazed at Mya. With a swift motion, he spun her around, pinning her against the wall as he devoured her mouth in a fierce kiss. Malcolm yanked off her panties and ripped her skirt leaving her naked from the waist down.

She softly moaned as his hand came and rubbed her clit before starting to finger her hard and fast, "Ughh Malcolm!"

Malcolm's fingers plunged deeper, his palm pressing against her swollen clit as he worked her into a frenzy. His other hand wrapped around her waist, holding her in place as he rode her waves of pleasure. “Yes, yes, yes,” he hissed, his breath hot against her ear as he pumped his fingers faster, harder. His eyes locked onto hers, burning with a primal intensity as he watched her come undone beneath him. Suddenly, he stilled, his fingers buried deep inside her as he waited for her permission to take it further.

she bit her lip and nodded her fingers twisting in his hair to guide his head down leaving his eyes in line with her cunt

Malcolm's eyes widened as he gazed at her wet, inviting flesh. Without hesitation, he dipped his head, his tongue darting out to lick her slick folds. He groaned in appreciation, his senses overwhelmed by the taste and scent of her arousal. “Mmmm...you're so sweet,” he muttered, his tongue probing deeper, teasing her entrance with gentle licks. As he licked her, his fingers continued to pump in and out of her pussy, driving her higher with each stroke.

she squirmed her hips and moaned loudly throwing her head back in lustful moans twisting her fingers in his blonde locks "ugh Malcolm! Please!"

Malcolm's grip on her hips tightened, his fingers digging into her soft flesh as he ravaged her with his tongue. He sucked and licked her clit, his mouth working her into a frenzied state of ecstasy. “Oh, yeah...yeah…” he whispered, his voice muffled by her sex as he feasted on her juices. “Begging for it, huh?”

"oh fuck off you're a guy who lives alone. I live with four roommates! I haven't gotten off in a month!"

Malcolm's face twisted in mock offence, but his eyes betrayed a hint of amusement. He pulled back from her, his chest heaving with exertion, and gave her a sly grin. “Well, well, well... looks like someone needs a little help getting laid.” He leaned in close, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, “I'm happy to oblige, sweetheart. But don't expect me to go easy on you just because you're desperate.” With that, he plunged two fingers deep into her pussy once more, pumping them in and out of her in rapid succession, sending her crashing towards an orgasm. Malcolm's fingers continued their relentless assault, driving her closer and closer to the edge. He could feel her body tensing up, her muscles contracting around his digits as she teetered on the brink of release. Suddenly, he withdrew his fingers, leaving her feeling empty and wanting. He undid his jeans and pulled out his throbbing cock but instead of stopping there, he reached for something behind him a small bottle of lubricant that he had left on the table. With a wicked glint in his eye, he squirted a generous amount of lube onto his cock. Malcolm's hands grasped her thighs, holding her in place as he positioned himself at her entrance. He took a deep breath, his eyes locked onto hers, and then slowly began to push inside.

“Oh, God…” she whispered, her voice trembling with anticipation

Malcolm's face was a mask of concentration, his jaw clenched as he fought to control his own desire. Malcolm's thrusts grew slower and more deliberate, each one pushing him deeper into her warm, wet depths. He could feel her muscles clenching around him, trying to hold him back, but he was determined to claim her completely.

“Ahhh!” She screamed as she clenched around him and squirted down his cock,

That was enough for him to grunt and burry himself inside her biting on her shoulder as he came, “Fuck… Sweetheart…” he groans,

“Fuck…” she gasped,

“Humm You’re gonna stay with me… for a little longer I think,” He growled picking her up and taking her to bed. 

[a-mon]

Finally watch FX pistols the sex pistols mini series. Let's see if it any good

[holyviolence]

EYE CONTACT IN PISTOL (2022)

[dumspirovaniloquor]

Johnny Rotten and Steve Jones' pictures from Amsterdam in 1977 is something that can be so personal--

[gailmustdie]

my little piss of shit ♥️

[sxfver]

[badhoodie]

this moment from after steve and sid do heroin together...hmmm 🤔🤔

[hoodienanami]

"You're very damaged- which is a very good thing."

another clip from Danny Boyle's Pistol that i wanted to share, again of Sangster and Wallace as Malcolm McLaren and Steve Jones because they really are the stand outs of the series

im as fascinated by this scene as i am with the last one i highlighted, the implications for Jones and McLaren's relationship here are pretty striking. McLaren plays into the role of father figure that Jones has begun to view him as and the confused obedience Jones shows in response is very interesting. i like how Jones flinches when McLaren tries to put the guitar on him, its such a great little detail

if youre wondering what the 'real son' comment towards Joe Corre is about, it doesnt have anything to do with Jones im sorry to report. a line or two before i started the clip McLaren calls Ben Westwood 'other man's child' due to Ben not being fathered by him. tho ofc you can easily read into that exchange happening right in front of Jones

also, this is the only time we ever see the New York Dolls in the series. which is very disappointing bc i quite like the New York Dolls. but seeing them pop up here serves an interesting purpose, a reminder to the audience of where exactly trusting McLaren is going to lead for Jones

[sharkaiju]

Johnny, Sid, and Nancy

[asexpistol]

Malcolm in the Pistol miniseries greeting the band as his 'sexy young assassins' will never not be funny

[vxnomoxz]

John Lydon in 1978

[the-fiction-witch]

Shall We?

Media - Pistol (Disney plus / FX) Character - Malcolm Mclaren Couple - Malcolm X Reader Reader - Y/n (Nicknamed Natty) Rating - smutty moments Word Count - 3000

I sauntered down from the bus stop, doing my best not to look too upset. My boots make a loud clack on the grimy pavement with each step I take. I kept my hands in the pockets of my jacket as I passed the heaps of black bin bags stacked high. I saw the pink shop front already opened up so I headed inside letting the door fall closed behind me as I made my way inside the graffitied store full of racks and shelves. 'Moonage Daydream' playing from the jukebox in the corner, As I went across the shop floor I undid my jacket and slipped it off hanging it over my arm as I went for the curtain to the back room.

But before my hand even touched the curtain, My path was blocked.

I didn't even want to dignify his nonsense today, but I had to look up at him as he was in my way.

There Malcolm stood, in his usual shoes, black leather trousers, his white sleeveless shirt printed with the cowboys touching tips, his dark curls well tussled. His wrist leant against the doorframe, his hip cocked in the other direction and his hand in his pocket completely blocking the entrance to the shop's back room. He smirked down at me with that knowing grin.

"Problem. Speak."

"I'm not in the mood Malcolm," I glared,

He removed his hand from his pocket and rested his thumb on my chin forcing my eyes to his, "Natty. Speak."

"I don't have a problem," I told him, as I ducked under his arm and headed down the corridor to the back room, but as I hung up my jacket he followed,

"And I can shove my cock up my arse. We both know we're bullshitting. So speak Natty." He says wrapping his arms around me from behind, and giving my body a little sway in his arms,

"Malcolm, I am in the kinda mood where I'm willing to kick you in the nuts."

"There's ever a time you're not willing to kick me in the balls?"

"...True," I sighed, "I'm just really not in a good mood today," I told him shoving him away and heading back to the shop floor letting my red hair loose from the bun,

"And the reason is?" He followed me once more,

"None of ya business," I sighed as I checked the desk for everything,

"Natty, come on." he leant on the desk beside me,

"Will you quit calling me that!" I sighed, "Why do you even call me that anyway?"

"You always try and ask for American Beer, notably Natual light," he explained, "And ... it pisses you off so much when I call you Natty,"

"True," I sighed,

"So, come on. What's making those blue eyes cry?" He tapped my nose,

"You really wanna know?"

"I do,"

"You won't just be a cunt?"

"I won't be a cunt,"

"You are going to at least pretend to give a shit?"

"I will actually give a shit."

"Fine," I sighed, grabbing the letter from my bra and handing it to him before taking some shirts to restock them,

"And for the record, I do give a shit about your problems."

"Do you?" I rasied an eyebrow,

"More than I do anyone else," He shrugged, "May I read?"

"No I handed you a letter from my bra so you could sniff it, Yes you can read it!"

"I mean I'll do both if you let me," He joked before he looked, "... Home Office," He muttered actually reading properly, "Dear Miss Natty," He joked, "we are writing to inform you that the Work and Education Visa you where granted on the 17th of May 1977 is now due to... Expire! ...On the 31st of June 1979. As you are aware if you do not return to your home country, notably The United States of America before midnight on the 31st of June 1979, An official warrant will be out for your arrest. If you proceed to stay beyond your Visa expiration you will face imprisonment, deportation and a one Thousand pound fine! As well as have your potential future Visa's rejected. Thank you have a nice day at the Home office!" He read,

"Yep," I sighed as I stocked,

"That doesn't seem like a 'thank you have a nice day' kinda letter."

"The passive aggression of the British government,"

"... But the 31st that's only three weeks away."

"I know,"

"When did you get this?"

"This morning,"

"So they expect you to just pack the life you've had for two years up in less than three weeks, book and board a plane back to the States?"

"Yep,"

"And how long is it going to take to get a new visa and come back?"

"Six months,"

"Six!"

"If they approve me, which they might not cause they are

"really dickish about that,"

"You could just stay?"

"And get arrested? No, thank you."

"Cha-"

"You dare say chaos I will shove a fire poker up your British ass."

"Fine," He sighed setting the letter down and leaning on the counter, "What's the plan then?"

"I don't know," I sighed resting my hands on my hips as I turned back to him, "It's all a bit of a whirlwind. I don't wanna go back, I want to stay here. I love it here, I've made a life here, I have a flat, a job, I don't want to just pack what I can and go back to some shit stain in Brooklynn till I can come back. If they'll even let me back,"

He sighed, "Come here,"

I sighed treading across the shop, resting my forehead on his shirt, and he slowly encircled me in his arms, laying his cheek on my head,

"We'll figure it out," He said, "You know I'd look after stuff for you till you got back,"

"I know. I just... don't want to leave,"

"Is there any way of getting your Visa extended?"

"Nope."

"Can you apply for a new visa?"

"Not without going back to the US,"

"...Can... you apply for a different visa like a student or something?"

"Not without being arrested,"

"Fine," he sighed, "Natty?"

"Umm? What's going on in that head Malcolm?"

"Ohh no idea I have no clue what's going on in my noggin," He sighed, "But... You can stay if you're are a British citizen,"

"Yes, but I'm not."

"But can we make you one?"

"Again with the crimes Malcolm,"

"Sorry I don't have a lot of respect for the actual laws" He sighed, "But... it's possible, right? just go for the citizenship test?"

"I have to have been here five years."

"Ah."

"And the test takes six months,"

"...God damn with these wait times," He sighed, "Okay..." Suddenly his eyes lit up,

"Oh god. I know that look,"

"You can apply for British citizenship for if you marry a British person."

"...They still might throw me out-"

"But they'll let you come back and stay forever if you are married to a Brit."

"And how exactly do you suggest I do this?"

He simply looked down at me, "Hi natty,"

"... Malcolm... are you... suggesting what I think you are?"

"You wanna do some immigration fraud with me?" He chuckled,

"Why is it always crimes with you?"

"Come on think about it? A quick trip up the registry office, sign our lives away. Boom you're my wife! You can apply for citizenship, and even if they make you wait a couple months it'll at least delay it and then you can stay here in London."

"As nice an idea as it is, they would know it's bullshit." I chuckled going back to stocking,

"How?"

"We're not romantically involved?"

"They don't know that," He shrugged, "All the office is gonna see is us turning up and signing a bit of paper, I'm sure we can hold hands and look cute and in love for like ten minutes."

"Okay, but what happens during the application process when they start asking questions? we can't fake a relationship"

"Pretty sure we can natty,"

"We have no evidence of anything,"

"... We have evidence of you working in a business that I co-own, We're already pretty good mates so people have seen us together at pubs and such, we have photos of us together, you have ticket stubs from bands I've managed, sounds like we could work all that into pretty believable friends into lovers kinda thing," he explained, "and technically I'm not on Viv's apartment paperwork haven't ever been so just claim I moved in with you and we live together"

"...I- I don't like how quickly you came up with that." I glared, "Malcolm is this the first time you've thought about this?" I asked suspiciously,

He looked a little sheepish, "I may have had this on a back burner in my brain,"

"For how long?"

"...A... amount of time."

"Okay, but even so what's gonna happen when they come checking it legit?"

"Again. I'm pretty sure we can fake it for... an hour if someone came around to check it,"

"So they turn up at eight am on a random Wednesday and find me very much alone and single in my flat?"

"Say I'm out, call me and I'll come by with like some shopping or something and we can fake it from there," He shrugs, "Or..."

"Or?"

"Or... I can move in?" He sighed, "At least for like a while till we know they don't suspect anymore, I kinda need a new place to live anyway,"

"You do? What's wrong with the flat?"

"Viv refuses to buy me food anymore, she's been an ice queen, the kid doesn't want me around and she keeps bringing that damn boy toy of hers over and fucking him. I think half the time just to piss me off."

I crossed my arms, "So the trade here is, I get to stay here potentially forever by you pretending to be my husband, and you get an apartment where you don't have to listen to your Ex fuck her boyfreind?"

"That's the jist of it yeah Natty, So? shall we?"

"... Alright Deal."

I felt... rather weird about all this, I mean I'm happy I get to stay... but I mean, can I really pull off being in love with Malcolm? Let alone the various potential checkups. He'd already moved into my spare room and honestly, things were really nice, I kinda liked seeing him more, and only having to do half my chores. I like that a lot. And not having to take the bus as he lets me drive his car ... I like that too. I stood inside the store trembling a little to think this was really happening.

I never thought I'd get married,

Least of all to Malcolm of all people,

As Vivienne tightened the back of the dress she'd made for me, which... I had thought was kind of her at first... Now... I'm almost convinced it was a murder attempt.

I know Viv has never exactly been the biggest fan of me, never knew why. I assume personality clash. But... these last few weeks have felt like personal attacks.

The dress was... chaotic of course with ripped white petticoats, a black latex stained with red paint, one torn tulle sleeve, and a corset back which she was currently lacing me into... Violently.

"Oww!" I whined a little,

"Oh suck it in Y/n." She demanded,

I sighed and did my best not to complain, I mean it's a free wedding dress. And I can always say I got married in a Vivienne Westwood.

Just... to Malcolm... which sounds far less impressive.

"Viv?"

"Mhm?" She asked as she worked tightening it more,

"Are you... Okay with all this?"

"Fine." She snapped,

"It- It's not like-"

"I'm fine. Not like Malcolm and I were together for several years, have a child together and never once did either of us want to subscribe to the modern slavery of marriage," She said with a pointed tone to her voice,

"It's not romantic. It's just for paperwork." I told her,

"Mhm. That's why you've moved in together." She snapped finishing the dress, "You're done."

"Thank you," I nodded trying not to be rude as I slowly emerged from the dressing room,

"Awwww You look so pretty!" Jordon smiled at me,

"Thanks," I smiled trying not to feel... a little giddy,

I'm getting married even if it's for show it's still kinda exciting,

"I did my best," Viv sighed sitting on the chair with a glare in my direction,

"You'll make a really nice bride Y/n," Jordon smiled,

"Thank you," I blushed a little,

The moment was broken however by the sound of Malcolm as he came from the back room, singing 'Here comes the bride' to himself or well...

"Bum, bum, bum bum. Bum, bum, bum bum."

Until he emerged, in his latex trousers, his sheer black shirt and a leather jacket leaning on the wall,

Jordon wolf-whistled at him, and Viv just rolled her eyes,

"The groom is here," He smirked, "Now where's my blushing bride?"

"Hi," I waved,

"Hi," He smiled coming to look at my dress, "You look really nice Natty,"

"I do?"

"Very cute," He smiled taking my hand and giving me a little spin, "a very lovely bride for visa purposes. So? Shall we?"

"Alright, let's do this," I nodded,

He squeezed my hand and we headed out of the shop and down to his little green mini, He went to the driver's door and opened it for me, "Mi lady,"

"Thank you, sir," I chuckled climbing in and getting prepped to try and drive in this damn dress as he climbed in the passenger side, so I started up and headed down the streets,

"Does Viv hate you?" He asked looking at the dress more,

"I'm starting to think she might," I nodded,

"Well, I think you look nice,"

"Thanks, Malcolm," I chuckled,

"Remember we need to look loving."

"But not too loving like we're faking it."

"Exactly, so just let me handle it." He smiled

I nodded trying to focus on driving.

It was all over and done so quickly, so simply, made me wonder why I hadn't done this years back. Literally, it was a ten-minute queue, a five-minute chat with an officiant, signing our names, taking a copy and that's it. we didn't even have to fake kiss... which I'm mad about, cause Malcolm has been insisting we practice for like the last three days, Legally We're married.

We drove back to the apartment grabbing a fish and chips takeaway for dinner on the way home, I unlocked the flat door and went to step in but he stopped me,

"Yes?"

"I have to carry you,"

"What?"

"I have to carry you over the threshold," He chuckled,

"You really don't have to,"

"I want to, Come on Natty,"

"Fine," I rolled my eyes,

"Up we go little lady," He chuckled picking me up and tossing me over his shoulder ignoring my squeals as he carried me into the apartment and tossed me down on the sofa, "Hey wife,"

"Hey, husband,"

"How long do we have to do the whole... faking being in love thing?"

"Just a couple months, until they do all the checks and stuff," he said shutting the door, dumping dinner in the kitchen and sitting down with me, "Or... you know, for simplicity's sake? We could just... do this forever?"

"What?"

"Maybe... we could, kinda just be husband and wife?"

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly,"

"... was this... all some scheme!"

"Less of a scheme and more of, I had come up with the concept in theory ages back and when I read your letter I kinda just went for it..." he explained, "Frankly even I'm surprised I got this far,"

"You absolute cunt."

"We just got married and you're just now figuring that out?"

"You are a dick." I chuckled, "You really couldn't just ask me out like a normal person you had to wait and convince me to marry you just as my visa was about to expire, move in with me, and have us go through a whole wedding."

"Chaos." He smirked, "You're like my best mate you really have never picked up that I like you?"

"...Kinda, never really thought about it too hard," I chuckled,

"And... do you?"

"I mean, yeah but I never thought..." I began, "I hate you sometimes," I chuckled laying my head on his shoulder,

"Hate you too Natty, my cute little wife," He chuckled pulling me onto his lap and letting us share a rather tender kiss, "Now... there is one more thing we need to do to make this marriage nice and legitimate,"

"Oh?" I rasied an eyebrow,

"We need... to consume our married don't we?"

"That's not a thing Malcolm and hasn't been for many, many decades."

"Ohh it's a thing little lady, They could say our marriage is null and void if we didn't consummate it. So? shall we?"

"...Okay," I blushed a little,

"Come on Natty, let's go make our marriage bed messy." He smirked picking me up with him and carrying me towards my bedroom,

I yawned a little as I heard the screams and cries from the nursery, But I stirred and gave Malcolm an elbow,

"You're turn,"

"Hummm?" He groans,

"baby. Crying. Do something."

"I did it last time."

"No, I did. Go on husband off you go,"

"Fine," He yawns sitting up and rubbing his eyes, and wandering through the apartment to go check on the baby, and of course, he was back fairly soon holding baby Iris, "She requires boobs,"

"Alright," I sighed sitting up and taking her to give her a feed,

Malcolm came and sat down beside me in the bed, "Morning Natty,"

"Morning Malcolm,"

"She's a hungry girl this morning,"

"Umm she didn't want to feed last night so she's probably hungry, silly girl,"

"Silly little Iris," He chuckled, "How's mummy this morning?"

"Fine, How's daddy?"

"Happier now his girls are here," he cooed, giving my cheek and her head a small kiss,

"There we go all done," I cooed as she finished up so I wiped her little chin and handed her to Malcolm as he was better at burping her,

"what's the plan?"

"sleep. then... chaos."

"I love it." he agreed, "Come on then you back to bed," He cooed as he finished burping her and he carried her back to her crib soon returning and crawling back into bed for a cuddle,

I smiled and cuddled up close to him rubbing my nose on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me close,

"Y/n?"

"Yes, Malcolm,"

"I love ya,"

"I love ya too," I chuckled giving his lips a gentle sleepy kiss,

"...As we're both awake... did you maybe wanna?" he smirked peppering my neck with kisses,

"why do you always get horny in the morning?"

"Cause I've been dreaming of you all night," He smirked, "so? shall we?"

"Come here you stupid man," I cooed pulling him into a kiss and slowly dragging him on top of me,