#pinky promises forever ....

[starartist]

PINKY PROMISE ♡

[malbenita]

Putting her in a fancy dress!

(Close-up’s under the cut)

[nariism]

yours, truly

pair. itoshi sae x gn!reader

content: suggestive but nothing explicitly nsfw! angst (kinda) and comfort, heavy narration, mutual pining (sae is bad at feelings lol), implied childhood friends to lovers

synopsis. sae was always afraid of those three words. he's broken, after all. how do you love when you are unlovable?

wc. 1.4k

i love you should be simple.

unfortunately, loving a man like sae was never meant to be peaceful.

it was always catastrophic—the way fire licks skin, the place where lightning and thunder meet, the expansive sea opening up to swallow you whole.

he was just like that, you suppose. closed off from the world in a way that you could not heal even if you tried your best to kiss the wounds away. he was never the type to open up about feelings. and he's never been sentimental, either.

being touchy-feely and sentimental are signs of weakness. the last thing itoshi sae wants to be called is weak.

the first time he offered up his heart on a silver platter, beating and bloody and raw, it was trampled into the ground. stomped out by the heel of someone who had seen him in his most vulnerable moments. it was just some fling in spain; he's not even sure he can remember their face, but for some reason he wanted to throw up.

he told you about it once in passing, with a coffee in one hand and your groceries in the other (he always insisted on carrying them). and he said it so nonchalantly that you had half a mind to laugh in his face and say "yeah, good one, sae," until he looked at you with a sort of sadness in his eyes that you couldn't forget.

you've quickly learned how to tread on eggshells around him when he was in a bad mood; delicately balancing between his good and bad days—mostly bad, mind you.

you're too patient. too kind to a man so broken. but he's too selfish to care.

he's had his fair share of hardships, maybe more than the average person. definitely more than he could count on all ten of his fingers. and each time life snuffed out whatever little light he had left in him, he became more and more angry.

angry at what? angry at himself. angry at the universe. filled to the brim with this rage that he couldn't tame. it's made him cold and detached and starved for warmth.

it was the natural progression of life that filled him with this greed and hunger. he craved for something to finally be his.

he can't love without it being disastrous anymore. it’s almost as if he needs something to fill in the gaps in his heart where fate has so brutally stolen from him; his career, his dreams, his brother.

he was thirteen when he left japan. he was eighteen when he came home. he was thirteen when he said goodbye to you in that airport. he was eighteen when he finally felt like he could breathe again.

but even with your fingers in his hair and your lips against his and the world finally coming to a halt for the first time since he was a child, he couldn't say it.

i love you should be simple. it should come as easy as a heartbeat. for sae it’s agonizing. what right does a man so unlovable have to give love of his own?

being unlovable is a horrible, lonely thing. that's all he knows. that's all he allows himself to know.

it doesn't help that he's bad at it, too. he really does seem like a monster when he says things he doesn't mean in order to protect his own heart. but what most don't realize is that the world has been terribly, terribly cruel to itoshi sae.

now he's twenty-three and doesn't know how to do anything but love devastatingly. he’s incapable of being gentle.

it's constantly there, in the back of his mind. dancing just behind the barrier of his lips when you give him soft smiles and smooth out his jacket with your hands. the words are pounding on the cages of his throat as you climb into his lap and smear kisses along his jaw, breathy and whiny and sweet. but then he bites his tongue until he can taste the blood, and buries his face between your legs instead.

i love you should be simple. for sae, it's the furthest thing.

it's a complicated swell of emotions in him, melting his usual indifferent facade until he's a puddle in your arms. he's not sure what love really is, if he's being honest. it's not something easily defined in a dictionary. words can’t describe the turmoil inside of him.

whatever it is, he's convinced himself that he's in love with you—that he always has been and he always will be. but everything he touches he sets ablaze. you're the last person he wants to be collateral damage. he's so fucking afraid that everything will be too real once he tells you those three words.

he's lived in reality his whole life. he wants to live in a dream for once. just this once, in your arms. and selfishly.

and you must know that, too, because despite making him dinner every night and sleeping in his bed even though your name is not on the lease, you've never told him you love him, either. but he can tell by the way your fingers brush his knuckles when he reaches out to hold your hand in the middle of the night. and when you kiss him it lingers for a moment longer than would leave him sane.

there are words unspoken with every action: i love you.

and when sae finally cracks, because every part of him has always been brittle, he loves you wholly. destructively. like a flame raging through a forest—bite marks and promises whispered into your skin. there are words buried beneath all that, as well:

i'm sorry. please be gentle with my heart. the world has not.

itoshi sae doesn't know how to be loved. every part of him is rough around the edges. but there's something beautiful in the way you love him without reason. in the way you're so patient when he shuts you out like a child slamming their door.

you were kinder than he could ever be. you had so much love to pour out that he envied it. he remembers growing up and thinking it was ridiculous. now some nights it's all he wants.

sae is unlovable. that's what the world had taught him. but for some reason, it never seems to stop you.

it's supposed to be a sunday night like any other. you're complaining to him about something silly called the "sunday scaries" and how you were currently being put through the ringer at work. it's an english phrase that gets a laugh out of you. he adores it. he adores you.

you're stirring a pot of curry while you speak. he's standing beside you watching. you aren't dressed even slightly, your hair is all over the place. and you're talking about something entirely stupid, putting a name to the feeling of not wanting to go to work tomorrow.

there it is again; the complicated swirling of emotions etched deep in his heart. you deserve something better. you deserve normalcy. and itoshi sae is anything but normal.

and accompanied with this thought, for the first time in his nearly twenty-four years as a mortal, the idea of silence is even more scary than snapping out of this daydream he's living in and saying—

"i love you."

you blink at him, pausing in your stirring. "what?"

"i love you," he says it again. you've always known how to read between the lines with him:

i'm offering all of myself to you and it's fucking terrifying. don't just look at me like that.

he reaches over to turn off the stove because you're staring at him with your mouth opening and closing. and then he rolls his eyes as if he didn't just do the one thing he feared most.

you're not sure how you get pressed up against the counter so fast, head tilted back as he greedily devours your skin like he usually does when he doesn't want to talk anymore. you definitely don't mind.

there's more to the story. more he wants to say. but he's not good with words—never has been. so he only kisses you until you're gasping for air and laughing. until his heart throbs where it sits in his ribcage. until you tell him:

"i love you, too."

i love you is not something simple for itoshi sae. but with you, he's willing to learn.

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

[asmodeauxx]

Klapollo swap AU my beloved,,,

Been holding onto this doodle for quite some time, made this when I could still doodle digitally

[vivienne-sndr-blog]

6 years of friendship & a bit more then a year intensively together... It was the best year of my life. Finally to be with him. He was my highschool sweetheart & he'll always be.

[persimminwrites]

my darling comet wishing you all a happy wolfpack wednesday!!! <3

[lazy-toad]

They should invent digital art that looks like my traditional sketches

[holocene-sims]

just a guy and his snowpal ⛄❄️

[bizlybebo]

Dakota and Williamcore

KILLS YOU.

[b1mbodoll]

https://www.tumblr.com/b1mbodoll/757026859091394560/juna-by-clairo

please do your puppies as charm songs it would be so cute 😭

THIS IS THE CUTEST ASK I’VE EVER GOTTEN. thank u for giving me a chance to lovedump abt my puppies my heart is so full n warm

jake is so second nature 😞 every time i listen to it i think of him bcs s soooo cute ☹️ “and once you get in my ear / i see kismet sinking in / it's second nature” yeah that’s me @ him bcs lovin him Is second nature! also kismet is like. fate? yeah. think it was fate that i found out abt enha n jakey and im in love.

eric is echo ☹️ sososo echo. “there is something that i need from you / and you're the only one that knows / and if i told the world i needed you / would you hear your name echo?” also. “our love is meant to be shared / while our love goes nowhere” idk a lot of people have diff interpretations of this song but ‘m a romantic so i take it as like a secret relationship but NOT in a negative way, if that makes sense? i also relate it to him bcs i havent talked abt him on here Ever because he genuinely drives me crazy, m sooooo in love with him i wna kiss him and cannot bring myself to share the eric thoughts but. the brainrot has been so bad so now i Will be sharing. sorry this got long i cant help it, he’s my boyfriend of 7 years 🙏

minjeongie my sweet puppy ohhh she’s so juna. she’s my juna. “i don't even try / i don't have to think / with you, there's no pretending” ARE YOU KIDDING, oh it’s tears. idk im in luv with her, she’s the cutest ever in the fucking world n it’s like. idk when i started biasing her, it just Happened like i quite literally didnt even have to Think abt it cus she just wormed her way into my bias list n i adore her so bad 😞

leehan ☹️ is ☹️ so ☹️ terrapin ☹️☹️🥺🥺🥺🥺😞 first of all, i’m so. autistic LOL and i love water and the sea and aquatic animals and i even have pet turtles bcs. i adore them n a terrapin is a kind of turtle. and also leehanie n fish. idk that’s how my brain related it bcs ‘m infatuated with him. “you can say whatever you want, i don't care i’m already gone” ME @ HIM ME @ HIM ME @ HIM!!!!!!!! yeah. soon as i discovered bonedo, i was alr gone. i think i discovered hanie first n then got into bnd but. yeah he’s so my puppy

[elytrafemme]

i post on this blog for the six mutuals i've never had a delusion about and... smirks while leaning back and falling into a vat of acid... Maybe even the other mutuals too

[deathofthelastromantics-blog]

" We bounced back and forth between extremes, loving and hating, staying and leaving. We knew how to be soft and gentle but we could also be sharpe and cruel. I regret the hastey things we said. I hate that we became all the things we swore we would never be. "

[sexynetra]

obv i think of Beloved sitcty (!!!!!!) and the gals being in love :)

Taking you to the ABBA museum to declare my love to you for appreciating my silly little Olympic fic <333333

[bucketsofmonsters]

hii just wondering if you're still planning on writing the epilog/s of Vows

I am!! I'm working on the Viv and Oliver little prequel oneshots and then I'll do the epilogue! ik its taking a while, especially after vows was weekly, but it will come, promise

[jessicas-pi]

dont you love it when you're singing along to a song and then the realization that a lot of the lyrics go really well with one of your fics hits you in the face like a soggy pancake cause i sure do

[bluebellhairpin]

thank you for reading and giving your tags on my fic omg!! 😵🩷🩷💓💓💓🩷🥺💓💓🩷💓💓💓💓😖 i saw you in my notes and i was like EEEEHHHHHHH bc your writing is so good and seeing you like my reading is super validating and im so glad you liked it 🥺

I had to find a way to THANK YOU for all the reblogging a cments you've left in MY notes (bc omg??? I go back and read them SO often and they've only been there like a week but still). I stalked your blog a little and oh what's that? You write focs too?? So not only was I able to support a fellow writer but I also discovered like the best royal au erwin fic I've read in forever? YOU are the gift that keeps giving. So -