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#pining sherlock fics
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Hi 👋. Do you know a fic that sherlock wants to kiss john so badly that he comes up with a fake case or experiment just to be able to kiss him?
Hi Nonny!!!
Ah, the one that immediately comes to mind is this one:
The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 w., 15 Ch. || Sick Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Case Fic, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Jealous Sherlock, Body Image Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV Sherlock, Oral / Anal, Thong, Frottage) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a "harmless" virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.
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Which isn't EXACTLY what you're looking for but for some reason it stuck in my head when you sent this ask!
I also have a few "Couple for a Case from Sherlock's POV" that I adore that could meet this criteria:
The Skin Over My Heart by standbygo (E, 8,849 w., 1 Ch. || Post-Hiatus, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Dog Tags, Military, Homophobia, Gay Bashing, POV First Person Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Undercover, Haircuts, Flashbacks, Touching, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Metaphors, Introspection, Hand Jobs, On the Couch, John’s Past, Angst with Happy Ending) – Sherlock and John are still trying to adjust to Sherlock's return from his hiatus when John's friend Bill Murray brings them a case. Someone is targeting the LGBTQA+ members of Bill's unit. John and Sherlock go undercover at the unit, but when they end up having to flirt to flush out the suspect, Sherlock realizes he's in over his head.
A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, Primarily POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.
Bridging the Ravine by SilentAuror (E, 58,887 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Couple For a Case, Bed-Sharing, First Times, Confessions, Awkwardness, Sex Trafficking, Massages, Wet T-Shirt Contest, Group Therapy, Past Loss of Child) – Sherlock and John go undercover at Ravine Valley, a therapy centre for same-sex male couples in an investigation into a possible human trafficking ring. As they pose as a couple and fake their way through the therapy sessions for the sake of the case, it quickly becomes difficult to avoid discussing their very real issues. Set roughly six nine months after series 4. Part 1 of the The Ravine Valley series series
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AND you might find more on these lists:
It’s An Experiment!
It’s An Experiment! (Pt. 2)
It’s An Experiment! (Pt. 3)
But yeah, those are the closest I can think of to what you're looking for; if anyone can give something MUCH better than I have to offer, please PLEASE do, I know that there are others <3
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hopelessromantic5 · 3 months
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Pride Month somehow went by in a fucking flash.
Here’s a short Merthur clip inspired by a conversation between Sherlock and Molly Hooper on BBC’s Sherlock.
“You’re a bit like my dad. Even after he got sick, he was cheerful and lovely, always. Except when he thought no one could see.” A pause. “I saw him once. He looked sad.”
“Gwen.”
“You look sad.” Another pause.
“You look sad, when you think he can’t see you.”
Arthur stopped his approach on the tattered practice dummy. Flicking his eyes over to where she gestured with her own.
Merlin was polishing armor in the grass.
Arthur didn’t really think before he murmured
“What of it?” And shrugged as if this is something he could just dismiss in one perfectly executed move, just like any foe. But this is an enemy he’s faced many times and lost countless battles. His own stupid incessant bleeding feelings.
This time felt different though. They seemed to be wrapping vines around his heart and lungs. Making it hard to breathe, sometimes he could hear nothing but blood in his ears and the sound of his heart shattering over and over again.
Different people stood behind the knife each time it landed, people he thought he could trust. People he thought loved him as much as he loved them in return.
And each time, he sank to a newer low. One he thought he would never reach.
Morgana.
Uther.
Gwen.
Lancelot.
Agravaine.
The lot of them turned out to hate him for no other reason than being born to the parents that he was. Gwen and Lance may be excluded from this, but their treachery was less to Prince Arthur and closer to the real Arthur. The one that sits beneath the skin of this, now, King.
And then, there was Merlin.
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gregorovitch-adler · 9 months
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@flashfictionfridayofficial
BBC Sherlock.
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It is what it is
"I cheated on Mary," said John, as his eyes welled up, and in came the monologue to a non-existent person, presumably Mary.
Sherlock followed John's gaze and stopped at an empty corner of the sitting room of their flat. Well, his flat, technically, because John wasn't here anymore.
All he could conclude was that John was not okay.
"Who you think I am, is the man I want to be," John continued.
Sherlock turned to look from the empty corner to John's face, pressing his lips together with utter heartbreak. Sherlock had always admired John's medical skills, his combat skills, his sense of authority, his sense of humour, and the list could go on forever.
Mary was not even in the picture when Sherlock began to look up to him and admire him.
Was that not enough?
The image of John punching and kicking him in the ribs flashed before him. Of course it wasn't enough, thought Sherlock and chuckled mirthlessly in his mind.
Probably because he wasn't a woman, or not human enough for John's liking.
However, anyone with half a brain would laugh at the second possibility, given the fact that he wouldn't have been sitting on this chair if he hadn't revived himself that day, after getting shot by John's own wife.
When John buried his face in his hand and burst into tears, Sherlock thought it didn't matter anymore. He got up as carefully as he could with his wounded back to approach John slowly across the room.
Sherlock felt as though he was in a lion's den, and any wrong move could prove to be fatal. Still, mustering enough courage and physical strength, he approached John and carefully placed his right arm around John's shoulder, and rested his palm on John's nape. He placed his left hand on John's other shoulder and held him gently in his arms. Surprisingly, John not only allowed himself to be hugged, but he also placed his head on Sherlock's chest. Sherlock didn't care about his shirt getting wet because of John's uncontrollable tears.
As Sherlock continued to hold John like he was the most precious thing in the world, he came to a conclusion: perhaps he was wrong to put John on sort of a pedestal for all these years. John had a plethora of qualities, but seeing him through a rose-tinted lens most of the time had been an imperfect sign. An imperfect way of viewing this man.
Ironic, for someone who was a professional detective.
John wasn't perfect; he had a dark side too. The thought was oddly comforting.
Sherlock just wished he hadn't found this out the hard way. But his love for John was far too much to waver, even after everything.
Sherlock pulled John even closer as he buried his nose in John's hair, inhaling his natural scent. Their breathing rate had become in-sync.
Sherlock reluctantly let go of John after some time. John gazed up at him with his beautiful, deep blue eyes, dampened with tears.
Sherlock decided to share his conclusions with him. "It’s not a pleasant thought, John, but I have this terrible feeling, from time to time, that we might all just be human."
John raised his eyebrows at that with a faint smile. "What, even you?"
Sherlock was not amused at this taunt. "No."
John's smile faded and he just blinked at Sherlock wordlessly.
"Even you."
A moment passed. "Cake?" asked John, all of a sudden.
"Cake." Sherlock nodded.
As he walked across the room to grab his coat to go out with John, Sherlock decided that being John's friend again was the next best thing. The other option, the unthinkable one, was completely off the table now. It never was on the table for John.
Sherlock sighed heavily and wistfully.
Probably for the best, he thought, as he and John walked out of the apartment building to have some cake for his birthday.
Tags: @a-victorian-girl , @lisbeth-kk, @helloliriels , @topsyturvy-turtely , @keirgreeneyes, @totallysilvergirl , @jamielovesjam, @peanitbear, etc.
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cupidford · 1 year
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The Man With the Cartier Frames by JRow
Sherlock's case will surely be solved quickly...in between trips to Putney to help with Rosie, collecting her from school, and preparing for her sleepover at 221B
Johnlock Love Letters #2313
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discreetowl · 9 months
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JOHNLOCK FIC!
Towards the end of last year (so not that long ago) I began on my first johnlock fic. It’s incredibly OOC but has been so much fun to work on; I wanted to do something different than anything I’d read before. It’s Johnlock with a lovely sprinkle (more like a downpour) of MorMor.
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These Unsuitable Pyrotechnics by discreetowl
Explicit, Words 100k+, Chapter 21/26
Additional Tags: Sherlock Holmes has feelings, POV John Watson, Jim Moriarty is a little shit, Jim Moriarty has feelings, Eventual Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Slow Burn, Developing, AU- High School, Smut, Fluff, Friends with benefits, Angst, Mutual pining, Emotionally unavailable John Watson
SUMMARY: “You had all of me that I knew how to give. And if you would ever have me again, I would give you all the rest.”
Or, the one where John is a jaded bastard who has sworn off love completely, Sherlock is a grand romancing photographer/footy coach, whilst Jim and Seb face their own troubling complexities (arson included).
Oh, and Greg is there as well.
This is an extremely OOC AU.
Slow burn, updated regularly; sad to happy to infuriating to fucking devastating to somewhat happy again.
Enjoy, and please indulge me with any questions, thoughts, or points of clarification.
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ohwhataniight · 6 months
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more than the world can contain - a johnlock fic
An open book. Too legible, too vast and containing, always presenting with more pages when you think you’ve read it all. Far more interesting if you look closely, behind its stereotypical facade depicted on most postcards. Looking unassuming to the untrained eye yet there’s layers and layers to discover, in every crevice, in every hollow, in each dark alley, in every abandoned house with its mould and its rotting wallpapers. That’s what London is.
The extended metaphor also stands for Dr. John Watson.
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lokidokieokie · 2 years
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Fic Recs
Hello hello hello! It is that time of the week again my lovelies! Take a glimpse blow to cut to find my fic recs for the week of 14/11 - 20/11!
Loki Laufeyson
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Sunday Worship by @lokisgoodgirl
A Piece of Heaven by @fictive-sl0th 
Poker Face by @mochie85 
Need You by @acciotherapists 
Get Over Him, Not Under Him by @lykaonimagines 
Oh No by @lykaonimagines 
It’s Not Your Fault by @stupidthoughtsinwriting 
Mischief by @donaweasley 
Tale As Old As Time by @michelleleewise [masterlist linked]
By The Light of the Fire: Winter Warmers by @lokisgoodgirl​
The New Sorcerer Supreme by @muddyorbsblr​ [part 1[
The New Sorcerer Supreme by @muddyorbsblr​ [part 2]
I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas by @joyful-enchantress​ 
Tom Hiddleston
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Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing by @lykaonimagines 
Oh Crap by @lykaonimagines 
Prank Gone...Right? by @fanficshiddles 
That Voice by @fanficshiddles 
Jonathan Pine
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I Won’t Let Go by @holdmytesseract 
Stephen Strange
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I Don’t Get Jealous by @girl-of-many-fandoms 
Just as Important by @lykaonimagines 
Wall of Text by @lykaonimagines 
Sherlock Holmes
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Deep Water by @starks-hero 
Perfect Sync by @obsesswriterepeat 
Unintentional Mystery by @fool-who-dreams
Personal by @annesthaeticc 
Sentiment by @goldencherriess 
The Bet by @belleinhell 
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Please show these amazing authors some love by commenting on and reblogging their posts! 
See you all next week for more recommendations!
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topsyturvy-turtely · 2 years
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OTP challenge - day 15
there are two parts because I couldn't didn't want to shorten it for the life of me.
I wanna apologize for not updating regularly - never mind daily. i hope you can forgive my non-existent organization talent! thank you to everyone who is still in on this challenge!
[link to day 14]
15. teaching each other how to do something
(pt. 1/2)
Five year old Rosie stopped playing the violin with a loud dramatic note. "Well done, Watson. Keep practicing and it will be perfect." Sherlock praised his little apprentice.
John scoffed which turned his daughter's and best friend's head around. "Whatever do you you wanna say, John?"
"Just that Rosie already sounds perfect to me."
"Oh, she is. However let's not feed her ego too much.", Sherlock countered and winked at Rosie who grinned up at him.
"Yeah, she is already better at everything I am, aren't you, honey?"
There was a proud twinkle in Rosie's dark blue eyes when she giggled at that.
"Well", John stood up from the armchair that used to be his. "Thank you for the lesson, Sherlock. Are you sure you don't want-"
"I will not accept any payment from my favorite student." Sherlock immediately interrupted.
John made an amused noise. "Yeah, alright. It- it was good to see you, Sherlock." Their relationship ever after the Culverton case has been fragile, they never quite went back to what it used to be but... each man took what he could get.
"Good to see you too, John", Sherlock said softly. "Watson", he added, making the littlest bow towards Rosie. John adored how Sherlock treated his goddaughter. It made the doctor feel soft inside and sometimes this softness creeped through his walls to show through a smile. Like right now. Then he caught himself and clapped his hand against his thigh - a sign to say goodbye.
"Say thank you, Rosie, so we can head home."
Rosie finished putting away her tiny violin, then stretched her arms out, so Sherlock would pick her up. The detective did so, and then let her kiss his nose. "Thanks, Sherlock. Love you."
"Love you, too, Watson.", he said and kissed her temple.
At that moment, Mrs. Hudson walked into the room with a tablet of freshly baked biscuits. (Sherlock doubted it was anything but very calculated timing. She missed John terribly and adored Watson horrendously.) "Hoohoo, darlings! Buiscuits and tea anyone?"
"Mrs. Hudson!", John exclaimed pleasantly surprised (he had of course not seen through the landlady right away like Sherlock). "It's so good to see you!"
"Oh John, you should visit more often! Baker Street misses you.", she shot a meaningful glance at Sherlock, who pretended to busily clean his violin bow.
"And my sweet little Flower, how have you been?"
"Good! I love my violin sessions.", Rosie said enthusiastically.
"I can imagine, it sounds lovely from downstairs. Ooh! But I gotta go! The next round of biscuits is in the oven still!"
"May I come?", Rosie asked excitedly.
"Of course, dear.", Mrs. Hudson immediately agreed (no doubt this was her plan all along).
"Dada, may I?", Rosie asked her father.
"Yeah alright, I'll be right down."
"No hurry!", the two girls said in unision, on their way out.
John laughed after them, "Yeah, I see how it is."
Sherlock smiled, "Hudders adores little Watson."
"Everyone adores that kid.", John replied, shaking his head affectionately.
"Yes, indeed.", agrees Sherlock. He still had that soft smile on his face. Back in the days John liked to think it was only for him. These days, Rosie Watson was on the receiving end of it most of the time. John was glad at least one Watson had that honor.
"You're a fantastic teacher, Sherlock. Rosie... she really loves you.", John wasn't sure why he felt so awkward. They used to flow, now they are stuck in unspoken words and unspeakable emotions.
"It's my pleasure. She - both of you - mean a lot to me."
John softly carressed Rosie's violin case. "Do you know why I wanted her to learn to play the violin?"
Sherlock didn't say anything, but his interest was piqued, John didn't have to see him to know that - he felt it.
"It reminds me of you.", John said quietly and now he did look up at Sherlock. He hoped Sherlock knew what he actually meant: John missed him. How they used to be together.
For a long few seconds Sherlock looked at him. As so often, John could not look away. He didn't want to anyways. Then Sherlock breathed in sharply, turned around and grabbed his violin. John immediately fought an eye-roll. Of course they wouldn't be able to talk, how had he ever thought they-
But Sherlock held the violin out for John to take. "Sherlock, what do-"
"Take it."
Bemused John looked back and forth from the instrument to the man. "Are you sure- ", he started.
"I want you to try. Take it.", Sherlock insisted.
Hesitantly, carefully, John took the instrument. It felt fragile, but it was heavier than John had expected it to be.
"Put it under your chin. Like-"the gentlest touch redirected John's chin. Cold fingers. "-this."
"Hold the bow like-" Again, cold fingers on him, gently, just a whisper of a touch. "There you go."
Sherlock's mouth was close to John's ear. His voice velvet and deep. It crept inside of John, making the fine hair at his neck stand on ends.
"Now play for me.", Sherlock whispered. John surpressed a shiver. He was pretty sure, this shouldn't sound this alluring.
He didn't try to push his finger on a string. He simply let the bow glide and he produced an actual passable sound from a violin.
"Good, that was an A. Now try-", but John forgot to listen when Sherlock stepped behind him, feeling his fingers placing his index on the string, feeling his hand wrap around his bow hand, feeling Sherlock's chest against his back. John is pretty sure he forgot to breathe.
Sherlock was simply too close. He registered the man saying something, but he didn't know what. He tried hard to force the fog away. Instead he felt Sherlock leading his hand over the string, it was so darn cold against his own sweaty hand. A tone played and it was all so surreal: Sherlock teaching him to play the violin, Sherlock against his body, Sherlock whispering in his ear, Sherlock's cold fingers against his own warm ones. The tone sounded on and on and it sounded like the beginning of something. Like the beginning of something magical. Like the beginning of them.
But soon this something, that danced in the room to the tone they had played together, was interrupted by the thunder of upstairs-running kid's feet.
[to be continued in part 2!]
---
Special thanks to @totallysilvergirl whose series "Drawn to Stars" but especially "Teach Your Children Well" has subconsciously inspired me to write this incredibly talented and loving Rosamund Watson. I didn't realize until later, that it was very much inspired by you. Check this series out if you haven't yet! I love it so much!
tag list! (please tell me if you wanna be added or removed! 💚) @catlock-holmes @justanobsessedpan @helloliriels @boredsushi @fluffbyday-smutbynight @inevitably-johnlocked @hisfavouritejumper @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @7arantellgrrl @ssmeowl123 @so-youre-unattached-like-me @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @pansherlock @the-smol-bean-libby-blog @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @musingsofmyown @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @francj15 @almosttinycowboy @ladylindaaa @we-r-loonies @mxster-jocale @sherlockcorner @noahspector @our-stars-graveside @jobooksncoffee
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earlgreyinpajamas · 1 year
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Your recs are brilliant. Do you ship any other ships? If yes, any fics that you’ve enjoyed? :)
i shipped johnlock once upon a time, and some of the fics that i remember being really good are:
A Chemical Defect Found (On the Losing Side Remix) by AreteArt
A remix of missselene's "On the Losing Side." After Mary's death, John moves back into Baker Street. He and Sherlock stumble into a relationship, or something of that sort. Sherlock's rather giving when it comes to sex, but that doesn't mean he and John ever talk about it.
~~~
ugh this made me hurt so bad
2. Gordian by fresne (@fresne999)
On any given day, Sherlock might come out of the bathroom smelling like an Alpha on the hunt (Alpha #8) or an Omega in heat (Omega #9), a Beta brooding (Beta #3), or like no gender at all. The last one was his actual scent, which wasn't so much scentless as confusing. At least in an adult. If Sherlock and John were the sort of people to read Mills and Boon novels, they could have said that what occurred was because destiny intervened and set two destined lovers in their one true pairings' path. It was the lasagna.
~~~
the oblivious pining in this fic slaps
3. ranger panties by simplyclockwork (@simplyclockwork)
While in London on leave, Captain John Watson and a particularly intriguing article of clothing manage to catch the attention of one consulting detective.
~~~
cackled i swear
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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 months
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Oh, I am back (you know, I never did find that random Tattoo fic, so I need a you for the OOQ fandom 🤷🏼‍♀️). I am on the hunt for a comfort fic that I know I have bookmarked, but I am obviously not using the correct search phrases and can't find it.
Sherlock throws himself at Molly and her girlfriends to puzzle out his feelings for John, and ends up very very drunk (at least one of the friends knows Irene professionally). John leaves him water and painkillers.
I thought this one was saved in my file of "fics that I read when I am blue" (because they make me less sad) but it isn't there.
Any ideas?
Hi Lovely!!!
AAAA I'm sorry the Tattoo fic wasn't ever found <3 But hopefully someone finds this one for y'all!! I genuinely have no idea which fic this one is, but it sounds interesting!
Anyone have any clues they can offer??
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turbulenttrouble · 2 years
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NEW AND UPDATED FIC REC LIST
i have yet to add the 100 fics that are still open on my browser to the list, but I hope his list is easier to use then the last one
if there's any trouble opening the link pls let me know
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gregorovitch-adler · 1 year
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Beloved
"So, she's alive then. How are we feeling about that?" John asked, holding a whiskey glass in his left hand.
He knew he had wrecked everything by not denying Irene's statement: "Well, I am (gay). Look at us both."
How could he? Wasn't that the truth? Sherlock was the person John and Irene Adler had both fallen for, even though he did not comply with the sexual orientation of either of them.
Once she had hit the core of the matter with a few words, John had no option but to remain speechless; much as he would have loved to retort - just to get a one-up over her in a conversation for once.
On the contrary, John had huffed out a short laugh in approval.
What was worse, Sherlock had heard all that. He had been standing right there the whole time, revealing his presence because of that bloody text alert sound.
Meaning: Sherlock now knew how John felt for him.
John gulped down his throat at the horrifying thought.
Sherlock was holding his violin close to his neck, contemplating which tune to play next. Another song for Irene, John thought bitterly.
John had helped Mrs Hudson with her bruises from those anonymous attackers. Sherlock had taken care of those attackers on his own, and now they were probably locked up in Scotland Yard.
The point was that John had tried to approach Sherlock, wanting to clarify everything after whatever happened in the Battersea Power Station. To make things less awkward, if at all that was possible. But he had been interrupted the first time. So, he was giving it a go once more.
"D'you think you'll be seeing her again?" John pressed, unwilling to let go of this subject today, even after Sherlock's lack of response - which had led to a rather pointed silence in the sitting room.
Sherlock walked closer to the window, without even bothering to turn around. "Happy New Year, John," he said over his shoulder and began to play.
John felt physically sick in his stomach. He sipped on his whiskey, wincing at the burning sensation in his mouth. Somehow, even swallowing a sip of alcohol felt like trying to shove a large piece of rock down his throat.
By not replying to John's very direct questions, Sherlock had made it crystal clear where his interests lay. The Woman.
John had fallen for Sherlock a long time ago. He would sometimes scare himself off with the amount of seriousness he felt whenever he thought about his love for Sherlock.
He was John's beloved, in his mind at least.
Now, if Sherlock had fallen for someone else... who was John to get in the way?
John just wanted to see Sherlock happy and stable. If Irene being alive after all made him feel that, then so be it.
John sighed wistfully, looking in Sherlock's direction one last time, before he made his way to the staircase leading to his bedroom.
Subconsciously, he gripped the whiskey glass tight on his way.
***
Prompt Beloved by @onesmallfamily
Tags: @helloliriels @topsyturvy-turtely @gaylilsherlock @lisbeth-kk @keirgreeneyes @missdeliadili @lookingforlifeoutthere @peanitbear @a-victorian-girl @calaisreno @curlyjohnlock .
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cupidford · 1 year
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Blue Plaques by JRow
Johnlock Love Letters #2324
John’s engagement is off, and he is back at the place he feels most at home — 221B Baker Street. In the process of solving a mystery, will John accidentally reveal a secret of his own? Asexual Sherlock.
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shadyscroller2 · 2 years
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all our years apart (lead us to the one today)
ao3
Posted January 2, 2022 
#First Kiss, #Christmas Fluff, #New Years, #New Year's Eve, #Fluff and Angst, #Angst with a Happy Ending, #Pining Sherlock Holmes, #Pining John Watson, #Jealous Sherlock, #Snow, #Awesome Molly Hooper, #Molly Hooper Appreciation, #Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings, #Cute Rosamund Mary "Rosie" Watson, #Minor Mary Morstan/John Watson, #Romance
2009
It wasn't that the flat was dingy and small, or that the cot was uncomfortable and hard. Memories of similar living conditions flashed through John's mind, most of it from just months ago, his army uniform cut and pressed, a gun in his hand and gauze in the other. The sound of gunfire echoed in his ears, with John's brain fighting it, attempting to give him reality instead.
John wiped his face hard and looked around at his flat, the sounds fading in his head, slowly being replaced with the deafening silence of the small room before him.
It wasn't the flat. No.
What bit him hard was the loneliness.
John looked over in the corner, where his cane leaned against the wall, waiting to be used. The only sound in the entire flat now was the sound of cheering and excited counting down of the seconds until midnight. The telly was blaring the noise, glaring the light into John's eyes and flooding the room.
After a long moment, John turned it off.
There was no point. John should just get rid of his television - nothing happens in the world anyway.
Nothing happens to him.
/
Somewhere else, Sherlock was running through a back alley in London, clutching a superficial gunshot wound to his side. He pulled his hand away. It wasn't too damp at all. The bullet the criminal shot must have just grazed him.
Good news for brainwork not to die tonight, then.
Snow had already started falling, white flakes falling from the pitch-black night sky above him. Sherlock glanced up, squinting his eyes into the sprinkling snow.
"Sherlock, are you still there?"
Sherlock looked down, his eyes following where the sound was coming from. His mobile phone blinked with Lestrade's name, the call having started almost an hour ago.
"Brilliant," Sherlock told him. "Everything's gone brilliant, Lestrade, come at once to collect your criminal."
"Sherlock, I know heard a gunshot. What happened? Are you bleeding? Are you-"
Sherlock pressed the 'end call' button, then he texted Lestrade his address. Those details can wait for the report.
There was no way that Lestrade would be there anytime soon, but really, that was no problem. In the last few minutes since Sherlock encountered the criminal, he had whipped his head with the barrel of his gun and slammed his head against the dumpster for good measure.
With the final thought, the bell on Big Ben sounded, piercing the midnight air. Sherlock counted. One, twice, three times. Then nine more.
As the residents of the buildings around him started to sing, harmonizing "Auld Lang Syne", Sherlock lit a cigarette, taking a drag, then coughed horrendously.
The singing drowned out the hacking coughs of Sherlock, who stood alone and thin in a dank alley behind an old flat. Sherlock steadied himself against the wall, and he cleared his throat.
He really ought to start wearing smoking patches.
2010
The lights danced upon the walls of 221B Baker Street, the quietness of the flat pressing down on John like a pressure point, as he stole glances at Sherlock from across the room.
The policemen of Scotland Yard were more than certainly long gone by now. That left just Mrs. Hudson, who had since fully recovered from her fright with the American men and was now one floor below, preparing to issue in the new year.
That just left John and Sherlock, alone, as the clock slowly ticked towards midnight.
John poured himself a drink, the bourbon swirling into the glass held tightly in his hands. John gritted his teeth.
It didn't mean anything.
Irene Adler was wrong. Sherlock is not his. And John should have corrected her.
So why didn't he?
John walked into the sitting room, where Sherlock was picking up his violin. His elegant fingers gripped the back of the instrument, absentmindedly running themselves up and down the strings.
"So, she's alive then." John broke the silence, keeping his voice steady. "How are we feeling about that?"
Sherlock wasn't looking at him. John could only imagine why. He stared at the grace of Sherlock's turned back, posing to start playing.
"Happy New Year, John." Sherlock still wasn't looking at him.
John didn't move his eyes. "Do you think you'll be seeing her again?"
Sherlock finally turned to stare into him, and John watched as he started the first notes to the song. "Auld Lang Syne" wafted through the tense air at 221B Baker Street, where Sherlock and John had lived together for almost a year now. The lights outside were only dimmed by the steady snowfall, with the chiming of the bell continuing to soar through the street.
At this point, John could only sit down in his chair. Thinking to himself, It didn't mean anything.
But Irene Adler's words still played through his head, drowning out the chimes of the clock, drowning out Sherlock's playing.
"I'm not actually gay."
"Well, I am. Look at us both."
John sipped his bourbon, though his throat had become tight.
Irene Adler was wrong.
/
Sherlock looked at John's reflection in the glass in front of him, thinking deeply as he pretended to watch the snow.
All the while thinking to himself: "What did it mean?"
Half an hour later, he picked up his cell phone and texted Irene. After thinking of his message for a moment, he wrote, "Happy New Year."
The game was still on.
2011
John sat alone in Baker Street, boxes with all of his things gathered in the corner. His beard, unkempt and dirty, was becoming far too wild even for John. He really should shave a little. Maybe just leave behind a mustache. Something to make him a handsome bachelor.
"Oh you prat," he said to himself. "You'd never take advantage of it."
John drank the bourbon, and the taste was the same as exactly a year before. Memories flashed in his mind of Sherlock playing the violin right in front of him, for hours and hours, before John had finally turned to bed sleeping fitfully with thoughts of Irene Adler's observations.
Could she have observed that a year later, Sherlock would be dead?
The bell chimed midnight, as it had so many times, so many years before. Texts ignited on John's mobile beside him, the screen lighting up as much as the sky probably is, fireworks booming loudly in the distance.
John took a glance, deadened eyes darting down to look at the screen. One from Lestrade read, "Happy New Year John - let me know if you need anything, mate."
Another text, from Molly this time: "Hi John! Hope you're doing better, know you've got us if you need!"
This one made John smile a little bit. Molly always was a bit of a sweetheart. Always deserved better than hanging onto Sherlock for all that time.
John's smile fell at the thought, his face grimacing. "Yeah, I should talk, shouldn't I?"
He looked up at Sherlock's empty chair, dusty and slowly losing its luster with passed time. John had made it a point not to place even a jacket on it since the Fall. The fewer reasons to look at it, the better.
John still woke up in the middle of the night, watching Sherlock's body plummet through the air, landing with a thud right in front of him on the sidewalk. John always gets there too late to catch him.
And every day, John thought to himself, "this is why. This is why I need to get my own place. Move on with my life."
"Yeah, right," Sherlock scoffed, twiddling his fingers as he stared amusedly at John. "Move on with what life, Watson? I'm gone."
John's head snapped up, and he narrowed his eyes in concealed anger.
"You arsehole," John seethed. "You made me watch you die, you don't get to be snarky with me."
"I'm not being snarky. I'm stating a fact." Sherlock leaned forward. "I'm gone, John. You know I am. There's no bringing me back. And I can't come back. So why do you still see me?"
"You're not really here."
Sherlock smiled at him. Knowingly, cocky. "I always will be, John. Because you'll never stop believing in me."
John looked at him. Tears welled up in his eyes. "Well, I have to now, don't I?"
Sherlock leaned back in his chair. The chair did not move. "You can try. But I'll always be here. Right there."
Sherlock touched John's forehead tenderly with his finger. A tear fell from John's cheek. "I hope not."
Sherlock got up from his chair and moved to the back of the room.
/
Miles and miles away, Sherlock, the real Sherlock, was crouched down behind a tree with a gun clenched in his hand. He flipped open the revolver, the sound clicking against the silence around him. Blast. Nearly empty.
Sherlock looked around. Not for the first time, he wished John was here to shoot for him. He had already missed more than he should have.
The yelling of his enemies echoed nearby, and Sherlock knew the trees couldn't protect him forever.
A gunshot flew past him and embedded itself in the bark behind him. Sherlock turned to look at it, then faced forward again to meet John's eyes.
"Looks like they're carrying AK-47s. Can't be far," John told him, loading his own gun. "I suggest you get around them, dodge them on the northside, distract them with their own gunfire. Be loud then silent. They'll never see you coming, Sherlock. I can assure it."
"I think you're right, John." Sherlock looked at him. "Follow me closely. This is going to be thin."
Sherlock heard another gunshot, and he ducked his head. He bent low to the ground, then he weaved between the trees. The leaves below his feet crunched loudly, and he heard gunfire shooting the opposite way. Sherlock grinned. John had been right.
The alarm on his watch beeped. Sherlock glanced down.
He looked up, meeting John's eyes again, firm and determined, yet soft and kind. Sherlock smiled. "Happy New Year, John."
Another gunshot. Sherlock ducked again, and when he looked behind him again, John was gone.
2012
"Have you ever thought of getting married?" John asked Mary, who was leaning up against his side on the sofa. "I mean, to me?"
"Ooh, only every day, darling," Mary told him, smiling brightly and softly kissing his lips. "Every day you tell me you love me. Every day you're with me, I'm thinking about it."
John grinned and bent down to kiss her. "Brilliant. Best to know."
Mary grinned back. "You are too, love."
John laughed, unconsciously smoothing down his mustache. Mary glanced down at it, her brow wrinkling before it was smoothed out again. "Why do you ask, anyway?"
"I was thinking about it," John replied with a soft smile on his face. "I want to move on, best I can. It's time. It's been almost two years, you know."
Mary's smile turned sympathetic. "That's right. That can't be easy for you."
"No, it's..." John trailed off. "I always knew he was important to me. But losing him...I can't believe how difficult it is for me to say. You were there for me, Mary, and for that, I will forever be thankful just to have met you."
John looked into Mary's eyes, and all he saw was life. Just life. The life he wants for himself. One the opposite of the one he led with Sherlock.
When he looked into Mary's eyes, he didn't see the battlefield. He didn't get that tingle in his spine, the excitement in his heart. Not like he did with Sherlock. With Mary, it was calm. Just quietness. Security. And the promise that everything was going to be ordinary.
John looked up in the seat in front of him, and Sherlock was staring at him again. But this time, he was absolutely silent.
This time, when midnight struck, Mary kissed him, and John felt like everything might work out just averagely. Just the way he needs it to.
/
Sherlock smoked another cigarette, the map before him wrinkled, ripped, and damp. But still readable.
Gashes lined his arms and legs, his back aching from the unhealed whip marks embedded in his skin. Sherlock shook his head, trying not to focus on the immense pain pounding through his body.
Instead, he tried to focus on John's eyes.
"I think if you hit here, here, and here," fake-John told him with certainty. "You can catch them off-guard. Especially if you avoid the back entrance, that's where they'll think to catch you first."
"So where would I have to go in?" Sherlock asked bending forward to look at where his John was pointing. "What other way is there?"
"Right-" John pointed to another point. "-there. It's only watched over by one man. It'll be their downfall not to arm it. It's the only way, I think."
Sherlock looked at John, his own face soft, scarred, and muddy. "I think this could work."
John stared back at him. "I know it will. Long as we stick together. Sherlock, you can't make a mistake here."
"I know. And I won't." Sherlock licked his lips. "Not when I'm so close to seeing you again."
John fell silent, then he smiled and nodded, a soft look igniting in his eyes. It was a look Sherlock had seen several times before. "Happy New Year, Sherlock."
Sherlock checked his watch."Already?"
"You ought to leave now. Midnight on New Year's? Fewer people at the door." John looked at Sherlock knowingly. "Of course I've kept track. Now go. The people of London deserve to see you again. I deserve to see you again. Now go."
Sherlock huffed a laugh. His eyes met John's, full of love, admiration. His stomach flipped. "I'll come back to you. Soon."
John said, "You better, and you better be alive. Now, go."
Sherlock burst out from the door of the half-burned house he was squatting in. The quietness of the area, the woods, was enough to keep his mind calm. The leaves crunched below his boots, the snow around him falling steadily around him, into his wild curly hair and long wild beard.
But it was all worth it. Sherlock will always remember that.
Anything for John Watson.
2013
"Happy New Year, everyone!" Lestrade called out throughout the Baker Street flat. "The clock's counting down!"
John grabbed Mary's hand and tried to match her smile. "Another year, my darling," he said to her evenly. "Although it is much different this time."
Mary glanced up, watching Sherlock moving around the room absentmindedly. She shook her head. "Remember, he must have been through a lot. You said he spent two years abroad, fighting Moriarty's network?"
"Yeah," John sighed heavily. "I never got so many details, but...you can imagine, right? He's never going to talk about it as much as we want him to."
"He's independent," Mary responded. "At least from what I've heard of him. I don't think he's the sort to seek out help."
"No. No, he isn't."
"But, from what I have seen," Mary continued. "he is the sort to answer calls for help. He raced in that fire to save you. I saw it for myself. He will help if you just let him."
"I don't need help, Mary, he does," John told her. "He's back after two years-"
"And he's just come back to his best friend, who's moved on with his life. Who's getting married next summer." John bit the inside of his lip at that. "He should at least help you continue to grow. And if he doesn't, then he's not really a friend, though, is he?"
John looked back at Sherlock, who was standing rod-straight in the corner of the room, speaking with Molly Hooper. Sherlock looked up momentarily, right into John's eyes. Sherlock held his stare for a moment before they both broke away.
John shook his head, trying to focus on his fiancée in front of him.
"No. No, I guess not."
/
"Is he still talking to her?"
Molly looked at John for a moment from across the room, who was grabbing Mary's hand and leading her to the kitchen. She nodded. "Yes, Sherlock, I'm afraid he is."
Sherlock gritted his teeth. "They're getting married in May, about to spend the rest of their lives together. Don't they think they have their entire lives to talk?"
Molly looked at Sherlock sympathetically. "Can't imagine how this must be for you. I mean, he just moved out? You haven't seen him for two years, barely at all this past month since you came back."
"John made his choice. And if it's her, that's…"
Sherlock glanced at John at that moment, watching as he kissed his fiancée tenderly on the cheek. Sherlock trailed off, before falling completely silent.
Then Sherlock met John's eyes for a moment, and he purposefully stared right at him. Silently asking him to break away and talk to him instead.
Of course, John didn't read his mind. Instead, he turned back to his fiancée. Sherlock let out a long sigh.
"Sherlock." Molly's brows were wrinkled, her eyes wide with realization. "Are you jealous?"
Sherlock straightened his back. "I'm not. I'm just..."
Molly's eyes widened. "You're not just jealous...you're..."
Sherlock stopped, and he looked down sharply to the ground. He felt the walls fall for just a moment around his one confidant, and his shoulders slumped.
He met Molly's eyes, who returned the gaze with sympathy and sorrow.
"Molly..." Tears came to his eyes.
Molly sighed, placing a palm on Sherlock's cheek. "Oh, Sherlock-"
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!" Lestrade called with the entire room. "Happy New Year!"
2014
The following year brought a gunshot, fired from Sherlock's gun and into Magnussen's head. John was still shaking on the inside from the moment it happened. And he couldn't get the tender look in Sherlock's eyes out of his mind.
"Give my love to Mary!" Sherlock had called above the deafening whir of the helicopter blades. "Tell her she's safe now."
The tarmac moment was also forever present in his mind and will be forever. Because John knew there was more than what Sherlock was telling him.
If John's deductions were right, Sherlock had been on his way to his death.
And John had had no idea what to say to him as a final goodbye.
Sherlock had looked at him deep into his eyes, his ungloved and bare hand outstretched to him to shake. "To the very best of times, John," he had said.
And how true it was. Sherlock was the best of his life; that's what John should have said.
That's what he should have said years ago.
Before Mary shot him. Before Mary lied to him. Before he promised his life to her.
Before everything.
The clock was ticking down again. The minutes were going by faster than John had thought, faster than he had ever seen them.
Because as soon as he leaves 221B Baker Street, he's going to have to go back to his wife.
And it scared him how much he didn't want to do that.
/
Sherlock had brought John back to Baker Street on Mycroft's orders, but this was the first of his brother's orders he couldn't help but genuinely want to obey.
This was the first time they'd been alone since the Stag Night. Since they sat together in those two chairs. Since Sherlock felt John drunkenly brush his thumb against his knee. Since Sherlock wanted to blurt out just how much he didn't want John to marry Mary the next week.
He would have chosen to tell John that Mary is a liar. But he didn't. Because he'd never do that to John Watson, never, because he didn't choose Sherlock.
And he never, ever would.
Sherlock glanced at John. "Do you have time for tea, then?"
John gave a heavy sigh. "I wish I did. I really, really do."
"So why don't you?"
Sherlock looked at John, letting the words hang in the air. John paused in his movements, clenching and unclenching his fists. He glanced at Sherlock.
"Because I have a duty to my wife."
Sherlock nodded solemnly. "I understand. John, it's almost midnight. You should be with your wife. You should be…"
You should be with her, not with me. Because you're not married to me. You're married to her. She makes you happy in a way I never will be able to.
Sherlock cleared his throat, forcing those words away from his throat. He said instead, "you should be in your own home."
John nodded. "Yeah. I know. But I don't want to-"
"Then don't."
Sherlock bit down on his tongue. He really shouldn't have said that.
John looked at him. Sadness and exhaustion were in his eyes. "Sherlock, don't you start-"
"So pretend I don't," Sherlock told him firmly. "Pretend I'm too high to think straight. Let me say it. Please don't go home to Mary. Please stay here."
Sherlock stared at John despairingly. The words hung in the air.
Sherlock had never begged for mercy in his life. He has now.
John shifted on his feet, and he wouldn't speak. Deciding what he was going to say.
Then finally, John said, "Sherlock, I wish-"
Then John's phone rang. He looked down, his sentence interrupted. John stared at his phone for a long, long time. He almost let it ring out.
Then he answered it. "Yeah?'
Sherlock looked at John, his heart pounding, so low it was almost to his feet.
And also practically bleeding into John's hands.
John nodded. Made some noncommittal noises. Glanced up at Sherlock once or twice. Then, "Okay. I'll be there soon. I love you."
Sherlock felt his face fall. John looked into his eyes. Apologies were written in the air, all across John's face. But it wasn't ever said aloud.
"It's Mary. Sherlock, I'm sorry, but I have to..."
"Go." Sherlock gestured to the door. "I'll… I'll see you later."
John nodded. His feet didn't move, though, as if they were rooted to the very ground of Baker Street. John looked up at Sherlock, swallowing hard.
Then, after an even longer moment, John turned, and he left the way he came.
Sherlock stood in the middle of the room for a long time after that. Even after the clock struck midnight.
2015
It'd been a long, long, long time since Sherlock had felt this happy.
John was in the corner playing with Rosie, wearing a 'Happy New Years' hat too big for his head, with one on Rosie's to match. Mrs. Hudson sat right beside him holding a toy in front of the little girl's face, much to her delight.
Lestrade made his next silly face at her, switching into a bright smile upon the sound of little Rosie's laughter.
Sherlock grinned. How such a beautiful creature came from such a poor and failed marriage was beyond even him.
John's eyes were happy again, his blue eyes alight with mirth and joy, a man unburdened. Even his shoulders were less tense, now holding his daughter the way they should.
"Sherlock?" Molly said. "I'm sorry I haven't been... how are you doing? I know that explosion must have-"
"Molly, what are you talking about?" Sherlock said, turning to her incredulously. "I'm the one who owes you an apology."
"Oh Sherlock, please, we've talked about this before," Molly told him, waving her hand once. "I can't imagine what you had to go through on that dreadful island. I only hope your sister is-"
"Eurus is doing fine," Sherlock replied easily. "Everything is fine. Perfect, actually."
Molly looked at John, then back at Sherlock. "Everything?"
Sherlock looked at John, and their eyes met. John smiled warmly at him, a smile Sherlock hadn't seen in a long time.
One that was genuine. One that was John.
Sherlock nodded. "It's perfect enough."
Then Rosie started crying, with an ensuing of "awwwww!" chorusing throughout the flat.
"Looks like someone might be ready for her nap," Mrs. Hudson announced. John laughed.
"I'll take her," Sherlock volunteered with a soft smile. "I was just heading out anyway."
"Well try to make it back for the New Year, darling," Mrs. Hudson told him kindly. "The bells about to chime, you know."
Lestrade handed Sherlock her rattle, and Mrs. Hudson stood to hand her over, whom Sherlock tenderly took into his arms.
"Be right back."
Sherlock headed into the back room.
John followed right behind him.
/
Sherlock turned around, startled, as the door closed shut behind him.
John stood there, with his hand still hanging from the doorknob. As if, for one second, he thought about leaving entirely. But then his hand slipped away, hanging loosely at his side confidently and with certainty.
John wasn't going anywhere.
"John? What are you-"
"Sherlock, there's something I need to say. And I need to say it now, or it's never going to get said."
Sherlock nodded. He lay Rosie down. "Okay. Is something wrong?"
John looked away. "Look, I… I made the wrong decision. Last year."
"Last year?"
"Well, not just last year. Every time I went home with her. When I knew that wasn't something I wanted to do." John stepped closer. "Every time I knew...that I would rather have been with you. Not her."
Sherlock met his eyes. "John-"
"Sherlock, I know this doesn't make any sense. But...whatever you have to say...please let me tell you this first."
A moment of silence passed before John could continue.
"Sherlock, I have never...regretted anything more than marrying her. I should have-I should have been with you. The whole time. I don't know what I was thinking, and I'm so sorry I…"
John stopped at the shocked look on Sherlock's face. John's face fell. "I really shouldn't be saying this to you."
"No. John-"
"Sherlock-"
"I love you."
Sherlock felt the weight on his chest relieve itself as soon as the words escaped from his mouth. Sherlock couldn't believe how right it felt to finally say it, and for John to finally hear it.
John sighed, and he smiled so softly that even Sherlock felt his heart melt in his chest. John opened and closed his mouth again and again. Trying to find a way to reply.
Then, "I've loved you for longer than you will ever know."
There it was. The words finally said, finally out in the open. Sherlock couldn't look away from John's eyes.
Then the beeping started. Sherlock didn't even have to look down at his watch. Sherlock smiled wide, his face breaking out into a wide grin.
"Happy New Year, John."
John stepped forward, and before Sherlock could even register what was happening, Sherlock grabbed John by the waist and kissed him, softly, and without hesitation.
John huffed a laugh, pulled away, then kissed him again.
Finally. A truly happy new year.
6 notes · View notes
ardenskyedarcy221b · 11 months
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someone stop me from spiraling down this rabbit hole of looking up old fics that I’m positive have been pulled 😫😩😭💀
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multiland · 1 year
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summary: They say people turn into their most vulnerable selves in the middle of the night, can you trust yourself at 3 a.m. to keep hiding the crush you've been harboring on your friend?
pairing: Joshua x female reader (ft. best friend Jeonghan and the rest of svt)
genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut.
warnings: kissing, tension, fingering, a bit of oral (m), mutual pining, cursing, mentions of alcohol, Joshua being oblivious, soft dom Joshua, body worshipping, dirty talk, unprotected sex. Shua is the sweetest. This was an old fic I wrote for another group, so I decided to take it and edit it enough to use it again.
please leave some feedback!! it motivates me a lot🩷
word count: 12k
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You’ve heard a lot of good things about turning twenty-seven, and despite you not being the biggest fan of celebrating your birthdays, you weren’t surprised the moment your group of friends decided to book a trip to celebrate properly.
Consisting of mostly males, you’re used to them taking every opportunity to drink and throw parties. However, since spending time with them is fun and makes you happy, you would never actually complain.
"Do you think it's gonna be like, really cold out there?" That's the main question spinning around your head as you stare at your open closet, still debating on which pieces of clothing are the ones that should be packed.
Jeonghan, who's sprawled on your bed with his back against the headboard as he scrolls through social media, hums, not looking up.
He’s been your best friend since high school. You had heard about him back then due to his prince-like appearance, and him unsurprisingly having every single girl wrapped around his finger. Funny enough, and seemingly accustomed to the attention, he never really batted an eye at any of them. Despite being aware of his almost-unrealistic beauty, you didn’t really gave much thought to anything related to him besides whatever you’d hear the girls fussing about across the corridors. 
But then, on a good day, you found each other rolling your eyes at the same girl’s annoying tone of voice, the two of you realized and even chuckled. It was an instant click and you’ve been inseparable since then. 
A perfect balance between being different but so similar at the same time. You truly didn’t believe in soulmates, but turns out you can find one in the shape of a friend.
It had never occurred to you, however, that befriending the prince of school would instantly make you part of a much bigger group of, admittedly, really good-looking guys and girls when you started college.
That’s what brings you here.
"What do you think, Sherlock?" He quirks a brow, as he glances up in your direction. "We're going to the mountains, there's no way it's gonna be hot up there unless it’s like, a volcano."
An annoyed sigh falls past your lips as you roll your eyes at his antics, grabbing different styles of sweaters, hoodies, jackets, and all that could be of use in such weather. Turning around, you carefully fold your clothes and place them into the opened suitcase at the edge of the bed.
"Please remind me. Why were we going to the mountains instead of the beach, again?" 
Jeonghan's lips curl up in a soft smirk, locking his phone and tossing it to the side before his eyes land on yours.
"Because going to the beach is too basic. We always go to the beach."
"So all of you just decided to go on a trip to the cold ass mountains and rent wooden cabins in the middle of April in the name of… What? Eccentricity?" You narrow your eyes. "Yeah. Sounds like something my group of friends would do."
The man chuckles.
"Don't be a brat. You didn't have to pay for anything, this is your birthday gift from us, and all you have to do is look pretty and try to get your grumpy ass to have fun." 
You fold your arms over your chest, raising a brow at his words.
"Yeah, sounds like my dream holiday having to babysit drunk adults."
He clicks his tongue, shaking his head.
"Look, complain all you want once we’re back. Let’s not ruin the mood." He insists. "Besides, since it's your birthday, you can avoid all kinds of responsibilities. But you don't tell them I told you that or i’ll make sure to bring Soonyoung to your bed when he’s drunk and crying."
Panic instantly crosses your features.
“My lips are totally sealed.” It's a promise, gesturing to zip them with your fingers.
Plopping yourself down onto the mattress, you lay your head on Jeonghan’s lap. His slender fingers immediately fly to thread in your hair, gentle scraps on your scalp relaxing your body.
"Then, does that mean you're gonna take care of them for me?" You ask, looking up at his face in hope, trying your best puppy eyes just to guilt trip him.
Jeonghan scoffs.
"Me? No way. I did it once and ended up having both Seokmin and Soonyoung sneaking into my bed. Soonyoung kept crying and Seokmin just laughed at him. They were so loud I had to leave the room. Not to mention I had to wash the damn sheets cause one of them vomited in the middle of the night."
Grimacing at the thought, you really try not to laugh at the same time.
“Sounds like a ride.” You tease. "What about Seungkwan?"
Dark eyes glare down at you.
"He was sleeping peacefully in his bed."
"Why didn't one of them go to his bed?"
Sighing, he says: "I didn’t let them move. Having these two drunk is one thing, having these two drunk and Seungkwan cursing at the top of his lungs at three in the morning is something entirely different. We’ve had complaints from the neighbors."
"Yeah… I wouldn’t risk it, either."
Then, he chuckles.
"The best option is leaving them to either Cheol or Minghao." You nod in agreement, “Preferably Cheol. Hao doesn’t have that much patience after a while.”
Right after, his phone goes off and he checks the incoming message. "Well, here we go again." He comments, taking a deep breath before pressing the bridge of his nose between his fingers.
Your eyes open, brows knitting together as you sit up.
"What's up?"
"Soonyoung was betting with Seokmin and got his head stuck somewhere around the park fence." He explains, "Gotta go. Sorry."
He stands up, and you can do nothing but smile sympathetically at him.
"Good luck with that." With the same smile, you pat his arm. He steps forward and flicks on your forehead with his fingers, before walking to the door. You groan in response, rubbing the sore area.
"Don't forget the vans will be here at 7 a.m."
Right. You need to act like an early bird, and your first reaction to the reminder is a groan.
"How many times do I have to say I’m not a morning person?"
“The same amount of times I have to tell Soonyoung to keep his head out of any kind of holes.” He adds, waving one last time before finally exiting your room.
As soon as he leaves, you let out a big sigh. Truthfully, you’re intrigued by how this trip is going to be, and you kinda know for sure sleeping’s gonna be a challenge.
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The sound of your alarm pulls you out of the slumber you worked so hard to get in. Groaning, you stretch out your arm to stop the torture from continuing any further. Your lids don’t seem to cooperate, too tired and heavy to open and making you question if you really need to go on that trip to begin with. You could just call them and say you woke up feeling ill and you can’t leave the house while being sick, right?
As if on cue, you instantly have Jeonghan’s voice resonating in your head, telling you all the possible consequences of you bailing everyone when everything’s ready. All the ways he would blackmail you into getting up, in short.
So after taking a deep breath and stretching your limbs once again, you pull the duvet off of you and stand up, dragging your feet sleepily towards the bathroom to take a shower and get as ready as you can actually be.
Admittedly, you took longer than you should have thanks to all the times you dozed off in the shower, and that’s exactly what’s making you rush as your phone keeps buzzing incessantly against the marbled sink, with incoming calls from your best friend.
You can’t even make yourself look presentable at this point, messily throwing your clothes on and grabbing your luggage to drag downstairs, your hair still dripping wet.
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” You exclaim, picking up one of his calls, and then hanging up before you could even get a response from the other side of the line.
Turning the lights off, you open the front door and place the luggage down to close the entrance, trying to catch your breath, cause for fuck’s sake, you’re still sleepy, it’s early in the morning and you already not only had to run downstairs, but also carry such a heavy suitcase on your own…Cause if you’re being honest, you probably packed more than what you needed for a weekend-long trip.
The sound of the van’s door sliding open can be heard from behind, as you lock the door. The wet droplets falling from your hair dampen your shirt and make you shiver. However, nothing prepares your body for the reaction it gets as soon as you turn around and see him.
Standing there, perfect silky hair dangling over his eyes and curling up at the nape of his neck. Sparkly round orbits narrowed in a try to protect themselves from the inclement rays of sunshine, and pretty lips forming the sweetest tight-lipped smile you could’ve dreamed to have seen this early in the morning. Your heart skips a bit, and all the sleepiness washes away; all of this before you can even stop yourself from returning the gesture.
Joshua Hong. You met him one of those times when Jeonghan had dragged you to a small gathering with his friends, then finding him at the nearest convenience store you had from your job.
As soon as you saw him, you were instantly smitten. His doe eyes, cute nose, and sweet voice made the air get stuck in your throat. And as if being so incredibly pretty-faced wasn’t enough, there’s the plus of such a warm personality.
What at first started off as simple acquaitances with friends in common, slowly blossomed into a friendship. Joshua was often who spent time with you at parties, whenever Jeonghan was busy either playing alcohol games, or arguing over something random with someone else. He was also who you found at the book store in search of some kind of book so you could learn how to bake cupcakes in your sugar craving nights. He is, also, someone you feel totally comfortable with, someone selfless who never judges anyone. Someone with a view of the world in a positive light, a free spirit that only encourages you to be true to yourself and accept others as they are. 
All the times you’ve felt out of place, or simply aren’t in the mood to do anything at all, there he is to sit with you and listen to all your rants with that sweet smile adorning his face, just as if you were telling him the most interesting of stories.
He’s a music enthusiast. Likes to play guitar and morning walks to clear his mind. Such sunchild like him was able to charm a moonchild like you. So different, but so similar at the same time.
Despite that, the two of you ended up having more things in common than you could’ve expected. None of you like confrontation, and often prefer spontaneity. Both enjoy rainy days, and spending time at home in front of a fireplace when winter arrives. He’s a gentleman, never speaks over anyone and rarely raises his voice. He’s patient, and always makes you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk.
All those little things did nothing but irremediably attract you, feel nothing but admiration towards the way he sees life and empathizes with you or others.
He’s sweet, and fun to be around. With a sweet laugh and authenticity, the way he’s so soft-spoken and the way he never hesitates to offer help with chores, he’s domestic, so down to earth, nothing short of a prince. A good friend, a good listener, and in truth, you could’ve considered him one of your closest friends if it wasn’t for a simple reason… As a best friend, you have Jeonghan for. In his case, you have a big, fat crush on. So, although sharing a lot of time together, you just can’t help the way your heart flutters whenever he’s around. With a friend you share teasing, pranks, messiness… With Joshua, you share peace, comfort.
The already too-long list of traits to make you fall for someone has had his name highlighted for a while, and it seems that he always finds a new way to make you fall even deeper. 
Like that day he sang his favorite song in front of you with his guitar in hand. You knew back then you were done for.
This crush you have on him is something you’ve been harboring, keeping to yourself as a precious secret, cause yeah, he’s your friend, but also if the way you look at him when he’s not even doing anything doesn’t give you away, then maybe everyone else is just oblivious.
Joshua makes his way over to you and your heart races. God, he looks so good and you look like you just rolled off your bed and fell into a puddle.
He smiles again and leans down to pick your suitcase, looking into your eyes as soon as he stands up back straight.
“Good morning. How are you feeling?”
“Morning, Shua. I’m doing good, what about you?” Greet him back, a simple task it should be. But your voice betrays you and comes out in almost a whisper. Since you can't make it obvious, you gnaw at your lower lip in embarrassment. However, Joshua being Joshua, pays no mind.
“I’m great, thank you. Let me help you with this.”
And they say chivalry is dead. Your lips form a smile, following behind him on the way to the van.
“Thank you.” You say softly, stopping behind him as he places your luggage somewhere with the rest of the suitcases.
“My pleasure.”
You flinch when the van parked behind suddenly opens its door, and the next thing you hear is your name being called from the inside. The voices of Soonyoung, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Chan, who you find waving at you as soon as you turn your head. With a chuckle, you wave back at them, gesturing with your hand for them to stop the noise before someone gets mad right after.
Joshua meets your gaze when you look back, and gestures with his head for you to get in. You smile again because that’s all you can do when he’s around.
Then you hop in the vehicle and Jeonghan waves at you from the last row of seats at the back. Making your way over, you keep the same small smile, noticing the sleeping boys across the other seats before you plop down next to your friend.
The door closes right after Joshua hops back in, and you’re stealing glances at him until the man next to you grabs your face between his fingers and turns your head to look at him. He frowns.
“Any reason in particular why you’re soaking?”
Your brows knit together, and he releases you.
“Just felt like getting refreshed.”
Your best friend snorts, and you shoot him a glare in return.
“You fell asleep in the shower, didn’t you?”
“Shut up.”
He giggles, and you decide to ignore him as the car starts moving, fastening your seatbelt. It doesn't take long until your eyes fly back to the object of your desires.
You don’t know how you’re gonna survive being so close to him.
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Three hours into the road trip and you’re sleeping soundly against Jeonghan’s shoulder while he scrolls through his phone. The van comes to a stop, so everyone is able to go to the bathroom or buy more snacks. Some of the boys are gathering outside before Jun approaches Seungcheol and Joshua.
“Hey, do you guys think I could move to your van? My seatbelt isn’t working and I’ve been panicking over every single bump on the road for like three hours, I’m exhausted.”
Seungcheol and Joshua laugh.
“Why would you wait three hours to say anything?” Seungcheol asks, tilting his head in confusion. Jun’s brows furrow together before he says:
“What else was I supposed to do? Stop the van in the middle of nowhere?”
“You could’ve called me and I would’ve asked the driver to pull over to take care of it.” The eldest shrugs, Jun groans.
“Can I go to your van or not?”
Seungcheol looks at Joshua, who shrugs as he sips on his water bottle.
“Sure, I can move to the last row.”
Jun smiles with his thumbs up before they make their way back to the van. Junhui goes to the other vehicle to take his pillow and bring it with him. Joshua, once inside, grabs some of his stuff and walks toward the back of the car. Seeing you asleep as the corners of his mouth curl up in the most subtle smile at the scene, right when Jeonghan looks up at him in question.
“Jun is moving to this van.” He says quietly as if reading the male's mind. Jeonghan nods and goes back to his business.
The slender Junhui finally hops into the van with his stuff, taking Joshua’s previous seat and fastening his seatbelt. The door slides closed and Joshua secures himself as well, tucking his AirPods in his ears and playing his music.
Everything is peaceful for the next thirty or so minutes, Joshua is currently with his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat, head back resting against the headrest as his mind focuses only on the music.
But then, you stir in your sleep and move to lean your head on his shoulder. His body tenses as soon as he feels your sudden proximity, face nuzzling in the crook of his neck and forcing him to gulp. He starts playing with his own fingers, averting his gaze from the window, not really knowing how to react. He waits for you to realize, but soon notices you’re still deeply asleep, so he lets you stay there for the rest of the road.
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“Hey, wake up, we arrived,” Jeonghan calls, gently shaking you. “Hey, open your eyes,” He repeats, and you’re finally woken up, sitting straight and rubbing your eyes to help them get used to the light.
Disoriented for a moment, the gears in your brain slowly start to work at their normal speed. You stretch out your now sore limbs as you look at your surroundings. All the boys left their vans except you, Jeonghan trying to wake you up, and Joshua, whom you notice is still seated beside you. You frown, but he smiles.
“Wait, weren’t you sitting in the front row? What did I miss? How long did I sleep?”
He chuckles, charmed by your utter confusion.
“Well, yeah, but Jun moved to this van. You would’ve noticed if you hadn’t been sleeping for four hours,” Jeonghan is the one to respond, grabbing your hands and pulling you up.
“Four hours?!” You exclaim, rubbing your eyes. 
The faintest grunt manages to be hidden from you, and all of you three make your way to exit the van. Jeonghan is the first one to jump out, followed by Joshua. Your vision is still blurry and you’re still clumsy from the grogginess, which doesn’t make the calculation between the van and the floor an easy task.
Joshua notices, so he extends his hand for you to take. You look at it, then at his face. He offers you yet another gentle smile and your stomach flips even in your current state. Still, you smile back and accept his hand, clasping yours around it as he helps you land on your feet without an issue.
You reunite with the rest of the guys soon after, and they’re quick to erase any trace of tiredness as soon as they start being their loud selves, taking turns to hug you or pat your head.
And well, you don’t complain, because it’s nice to have all of them around.
You take a second to look at your surroundings, but the air is way too filled with haze to be able to distinguish anything at all. The cold breeze chills you to the bone and you start to feel the urge to get into to the warmth of the cabin, and as if your prayers had been heard, you spot Seungcheol walking with a few pairs of keys and two girls in their twenties following behind him.
“Okay. So,  we have four cabins at our disposition. In the first one will stay Minghao, Seokmin, Vernon and Jihoon. Junhui, Chan, Seungkwan and Soonyoung in the second one, Jeonghan, Wonwoo and Mingyu in the third, and lastly, the fourth one is for Joshua, myself, and our girl here.” He explains. “They the hosts, Jihye and Jangmi.”
The ground beneath you quakes at the thought of sharing a place with Joshua himself, breath hitching in your throat and mouth going dry. Your eyes nervously travel to the two girls in front of you, as if asking for help. They don't help you, but they also seem very welcoming and kind.
“Hi, I’m Jihye. We live here in a house that’s around the corner, and we’ll gladly be available for anything you may need.” She smiles. “The four cabins are equipped with furniture, fireplaces, kitchens, two bathrooms, and four rooms respectively. Each room has a TV, a heater, a desk, and a closet for you to place all of your items.”
“In the living room you’ll find the fireplace, comfortable couches, and even a sofa bed. In the kitchen, you have a small dining table, a microwave, a refrigerator, and different kinds of utensils for you to use,” The second girl adds. “Here in the common areas, you have some benches, picnic tables, and grillers. We also have wifi and my name is Jangmi, by the way.” She chuckles, and all of you laugh along.”
“Also, the bathrooms have a water heater and a first aid kit inside the cabinets. If you need anything else, please don’t hesitate to reach out and we’ll be happy to help.” Continues Jihye, with a kind smile.
All of you bow in gratitude for their help, right before Soonyoung speaks.
“Are you aware that we’re throwing a party tomorrow night?” He asks in genuine curiosity, Jihye nods.
“Yeah, we’ve been notified and you don’t have to worry about anything. Since we’re in a mountain, there shouldn’t be a problem when it comes to music, for example.”
“Cool!”
“Okay but, I have a question.” You finally speak, feeling everyone’s eyes landing on you. You clear your throat. “Would it be weird if I asked you to join?”
Certainly, you don’t know these girls, but they seem very sweet and it would be awful of you not to, at least, ask them if they’d like to join when they’re so close.
“Oh that’s alright! You don’t have to.” One of them says, waving her hand dismissively.
“But we’d love it if you joined us,” Seokmin says, walking to you and placing his arm around your neck. “It’ll be fun.”
All of them agree, and the girls seem a bit taken aback, you suppose they’ve never been included in anything similar when it comes to tourists. But then, and after a quick glance to one another, they smile.
“If that’s okay with you, we’d love to.”
You smile at them.
“Then it’s settled up.”
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Needless to say, you didn’t take long to stop by Jeonghan’s cabin. After taking a much-needed shower and getting diner, you dressed in your coziest pajamas and exited your place to visit your best friend.
And there you are, sprawled across his bed as he sits on the chair in front of the desk.
Staring up at the ceiling fan, you blurt out:
“I was hoping we’d stay at the same cabin.”
“Don’t pretend like you like me that much.” Jeonghan promptly responds. Teasing you as you prop yourself up with your elbows to glare at him. “You have the Hong Jisoo himself in there, what else could you ask for as a birthday gift?”
A faint gasp escapes you, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him. He laughs out loud.
“Shut the fuck up, would you?” You whisper-shout, crawling to the edge of the bed to get closer. He tries to stop laughing but your distressed expression makes it impossible for him. “I shouldn’t have said anything to you. No one’s supposed to know.”
“Yeah, because no one would ever notice the way you shamelessly keep staring at him.”
“You’re exaggerating.” You groan, smacking his thigh while he continues laughing. “Cut it out, you asshole.”
His laugh slowly dies down, then he catches his breath.
“Anyway… Not the point.” He continues. “He’s going to be in the room across from yours. Would you really want to have me there instead of him?”
There it is. That stupid look with a quirked brow. He really knows you well.
You groan, covering your face with your palms before laying down on your back.
“You’re so fucking annoying”
“I wonder how you’ll react when I tell you that you slept on him for over an hour.”
Eyes flying open, you almost fall off the bed.
“What did you say?! What the fuck? I did not, you always like to see me distressed. You’re fucking with me.” Embarrassment floods inside you, grabbing another pillow to repeatedly hit him with it as a coping mechanism.
Jeonghan once again laughs at your reaction, covering himself with his arms before snatching the pillow away.
“Stop it with the damned pillow.” He groans. “And no, I’m not lying. Though I do love the way you’re losing your shit.”
“How am I supposed to look at him whe-” You trail off, “Wait, did I drool? Snore? Fart?” Jeonghan laughs again. “Stop laughing for fuck’s sake, Yoon Jeonghan. I’m going to bite your head off!”
“God you’re so dramatic.” He chuckles. “Nothing big, he’ll understand if you’re a bit gassy.”
“What?!”
He laughs out loud again.
“I’m just kidding. You didn’t do anything.”
“What kind of best friend are you?”
“The one you chose, sweetheart.” He teases, grabbing your chin with his fingers and winking at you. You roll your eyes, then smack his hand away.
The door opens right after, and Vernon's head pops in.
“Hey, wanna watch a movie with us?”
“Who are ‘us’?” You ask in return.
“Ehh… I don’t know? Kwan, Chan, Hao, Jun, Joshua… Me?” He shrugs. “Most of us.”
Giving it a thought, you end up realizing you don't truly feel like making a fool of yourself any further, so you smile and shake your head.
“I think I’ll pass. I have to unpack and I’m feeling tired.”
“Sure. See you tomorrow then.” Vernon smiles, waving before closing the door.
Jeonghan gives you a suspicious look.
“What?”
“You slept the whole road and you’re tired?”
“Well, yeah… Panicking is exhausting.” You respond, gaining a roll of his eyes in return. “I’ll go to my room and think about my life decisions. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”  You add, walking towards the door.
“Sure, just know I’ll tell Joshua you didn’t stay because of him.”
You glare back at your best friend. He laughs.
“Make sure I don’t touch your coffee in the morning, Yoon Jeonghan”
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You’re snuggled up in the warmth of the designated bed, sleeping peacefully until the door slams open and a bunch of men enter the room singing very loudly a happy birthday.
A groan erupts from your throat against the pillow, lights being turned on before you can even sit up and rub your eyes to adjust to the sudden illuminance. The cheerful idiots continue singing off key on purpose, clapping as Seungcheol walks to you with a cake in his hands, candles already lit and ready for you to blow off.
You can’t help but smile at the sweet gesture, though, running your fingers through your hair in a failed try to look a little less disheveled. Jeonghan jumps onto the opposite end of your bed, kneeling as he also sings and claps. Soonyoung, on the other hand, climbs onto the edge of the mattress just to sing louder and start throwing some improvised confetti. They continue hollering, clapping, and overall being a mess. Then you make a wish, blowing the candles out right after. Lazy smile on your face, clapping along with them.
“Happy birthday!”
“Thank you, guys. If it wasn’t for the gesture, I would’ve murdered all of you for waking me up.” You sarcastically say, accepting the knife Seungcheol hands you and cutting a small piece of cake.
“Aren’t you eating?” Chan asks from behind, you shake your head.
“You guys eat first. I still have to wash up.”
With that, Seokmin takes the cake away from you and exits the room with some of the guys following behind.
“We still have to go grocery shopping for tonight,” Seungcheol says.
“Yeah, I can go with Jeonghan.”
“I’ll go too. Jihye is going to come with us to be a guide,” Cheol adds. “Do you wanna join, Shua?” He asks the man standing next to him, the same one whose presence you hadn’t noticed until now. A sudden wave of embarrassment flows throughout you, considering the way you look, cheeks warming up when he smiles.
“Sure, no problem.”
“Okay then we’ll meet outside in thirty minutes,” Seungcheol adds. Stepping closer, he pats your head lovingly. “Happy birthday, once again.”
You mumble a “Thank you.” at him, eyes briefly glancing over at Joshua, who only gives you another one of his gentle and reassuring smiles before walking out of the room.
Jeonghan is quick to engulf you in a hug, a hand stroking the hair at the back of your head.
“You’re an oldie now.” He mutters against your head. “Can you feel your thirties breathing on your neck yet?"
You roll your eyes and push him away, glaring at him. He chuckles.
“Get out, I have to take a shower.”
“Right, sleeping beauty.” He leaves another caress on your head accompanied by a soft smile, “Don’t forget to brush your teeth, that dragon breath will even scare the demons away.”
Covering your mouth with your hands, your face is soon face filled with distress.
“Jeonghan!”
He laughs loudly, standing up and making his way towards the door.
“Just kidding, see you later.” He shuts the door closed behind him after a very obnoxious wink.
Air fills up your lungs with a deep breath, Jeonghan's comment sobering you up immediately and forcing you to hurry off the bed to get into the bathroom, take a shower and get dressed.
As soon as you’re ready, you grab a scarf from the closet, then your phone to make your way out of the cabin, not before stealing a very much needed piece of cake.
The sunlight greets you when you walk through the door, its usual warmth doing nothing in contrast to the freezing air that collides against the exposed skin of your face. You’re quick to wrap the scarf around your neck, boots dragging across the grassy ground as you pull your phone out to of your pocket to send Jeonghan a message.
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A sigh leaves your lips, and you're shoving your phone back into your pocket the moment you find Joshua already standing there, hands in his pockets and fluffy hair shining under the sunlight.
He's craning his neck as soon as he notices your presence, smiling at you.
“Good morning, again.” 
“Nice seeing you again, birthday girl.” He greets you back, stepping closer and patting your head sweetly. His touch is gentle, way more gentle than Jeonghan’s or any others. He’s careful and sweet. Still, you chuckle to not make it weird.
“It's like I'm a like a dog. Everyone’s been patting my head today.”
Joshua chuckles, a small cloud of fog escaping from his lips to remind you of the cold surroundings, even when you seem to have forgotten about it with the heat in your veins.
“I’m sorry, we are really annoying.”
Laughing, you shake your head.
“No, no. It’s okay, I don’t mind.” You assure, wishing you could add how you’re especially fond of his gentle touches. “I know that’s your way of showing affection.” You add. Because that’s what you hope in your head, that somehow, he have affection for you.
“Of course.” A light and melodious chuckle resonates after his response, patting your head once again.
Silly little giggles are the only thing that come from you in result.
Then, he looks behind you. His smile grows and he lifts his hand up to wave. When you turn around, you see what he’s staring at.
Seungcheol and Jihye make their way towards the two of you.
“Ready to leave?” 
“Yeah, we are.” You smile, rubbing your hands together in search of warmth.
“Bonding, aren’t we?” Seungcheol teases, making you smile.
“You could say that.”
You look at Joshua after responding, he chuckles, and your stomach flips.
“Alright then! Follow me, the store is nearby.” Jihye finally speaks, soon having the three of you following her lead.
The walk is quick and chill, something you’re grateful for considering how cold it is outside. When you arrive at the market, you grab a cart and start walking.
“Okay, so, what do we need?” You ask Cheol, who gives it a brief thought.
“Some drinks, snacks, plates, cups? Preferably plastic ones. Also, some trash plastic bags to clean in the morning.”
“Okay, the plasticware is here at the right. The snacks and drinks are on the opposite side, where the refrigerators are." Jihye explains, hands gesturing as she points to the directions.
“Good. I’ll go with Jihye and you can take care of the snacks and drinks.” He says to both Joshua and you. “Pick whatever you want, it’s your birthday.”
“I might take the whole store with me, then.” You joke, and he chuckles.
The four of you part ways, with you and Joshua going together. He takes you by surprise by sneaking one of his hands in between your arms. You look up at him, confused.
“I’ll do it.” He smiles. You accept the offer with a smile and move aside to let him take your place. Your heartbeats increase in speed at the simple act of chivalry, while you're also trying to distract yourself by eyeing up the shelves.
How’s it possible that he hasn't noticed the way his mere presence puts your whole world upside down?
Looking at all the different flavors, sizes, and textures of potato chips, Doritos, and sweets that are displayed, you decide to quietly contemplate the ones you're craving the most. Joshua's soft voice in the distance lets you be aware that he’s gonna go and grab some beers while you make up your mind.
Since you're such an indecisive individual, you start grabbing packs randomly. Salty, spicy chips, some peperos, and even some biscuits for a change. It's now your mission to find those celestial Honey Butter Chips you’d die for, and when you finally spot them, you groan because of fucking course they had to be placed at the top of the shelf and very much impossible for you to reach them.
How cliché is that?
Still, you try, because one can’t let one's pride be wounded, plus, you’re way too introverted to ask for help anyway. Standing on tiptoes with one arm holding the rest of the snacks, you stretch out your free limb and try to, at least, make one of the damned bags fall to the floor. You don't make it, though. The tips of your fingers barely graze against the bag.
“Need some help?”
The man's voice makes you freeze on the spot. Brain malfunctioning as soon as you feel his breath on your neck. His huge hand reaches for the chips, all of this in seemingly slow motion. You stay there, paralyzed and with your eyes glued to him.
Stepping back, he holds the bag of chips in front of him, wiggling it. His lips curl up sweetly.
“I got you.” 
It's automatic, the way you start detailing every single feature of that gorgeous face. The smoothness and melanin of his skin, the roundness of his lips, and the intense but glowing irises of his dark eyes. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone this pretty in your life.
He snaps you back into reality once he tilts his head, noticing you’ve been staring for too long. You mentally slap yourself, cheeks red in embarrassment at the possibility of making him uncomfortable. The only solution seems to be clearing your throat and looking away.
“Thanks, Shua.”
“You’re welcome.” He says, hand placing the item inside the cart and starting to move again, “You should’ve asked me, though, I was right there.”
“Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you. I could do it myself.” This is your insecurity speaking, or the first cheap excuse you have now decided to throw. Whatever suits best the situation.
Joshua can only laugh at that, moving his hand to place it on top of your head. You turn your gaze in his direction, like a deer in headlights as he smiles at you, leaning against the handle on his elbow.
“I know you can.” He coos, caressing the top of your head and sending sparks throughout your body. “Just let yourself be pampered today.”
A smile creeps up your face, finding it hard to look away but doing it anyway. The two of you start walking around the store, and somehow it’s like you two are partners in crime. Stealing glances and soft smiles, slightly bumping into each other. You feel it then, the way warmth radiates from him and embraces you. It’s not cold whenever he’s around.
Soon, you cross paths with Seungcheol and Jihye again. Make your way to the cashier and be ready to pay for everything to go back to the cabins.
On your way back, you spot an ice rink. There are just a few people skating at this time of the day. Your eyes light up instantly.
“Woah, I didn’t know there was one of these in here.” You mumble, your three companions standing next to you.
“Oh! That’s a popular spot for families and tourists to have fun. We love to bring our friends sometimes.” It's Jihye's voice that follows, explaining as you smile at the sight of some children having fun in their ice skates.
“I can imagine, it looks so fun.”
You're having a moment with your inner child. There will be time later to get to the point of embarrassment. That, of course, if you don't notice the way Joshua looks at you ever so fondly.
“Wanna skate for a bit?”
Unexpected. That's what Joshua's question is. You're looking back at him, tilting your head.
“I would, but there are things to set for tonight.”
“You don’t need to worry about that,” Seungcheol assures then, smiling at you. “It’s your birthday, we will take care of everything. You can stay here and have fun.”
His words bring an instant grin to your face.
“Really? Should I?”
“Of course! It’s on the house!” 
Oh, sweet Jihye.
“Oh no no, I can pay for it, you don’t have to!”
She shakes her head dismissively.
“That’s alright! The owners are family friends. Take it as a birthday gift.”
How can you not smile at her kindness?
“Thank you.”
“Alright let me grab these,” Cheol speaks, snatching the bags you’ve been holding. “Shua, take care of her and all of that.”
“Of course.”
Joshua looks at you then, a sweet and comforting smile being sent in your direction.
“I’ll see you guys in a while!” Then you say, as you wave at them goodbye.
“Alright, let’s get ready.”
Joshua nods his head for you to follow him, and of course, you do.
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You certainly didn’t think this through. All things considered.
It shows the moment you put the skates on. Wobbly legs make their way into the rink. It’s not as easy as you imagined.
“I think this wasn’t a good idea.”
Now you're holding onto the walls for dear life, speaking to yourself, and reconsidering your choices in life. Then, you spot Joshua a few meters away. Skating on the ice as if it were nothing, his hands in his pockets, and the wind blowing his hair.
He then turns around in search of you, taking a few seconds to actually find you. As soon as he does, he laughs at the scene of you in the very corner.
He moves closer to you, and you’re so, so embarrassed you want the damn ice to melt and let you drown in it.
“You okay there?”
You want to let out the loudest whine, but you must act your age this time. You can't possibly make more of a fool of yourself in front of the man you like.
“Just peachy.”
You're clawing onto the brick wall, almost counting the seconds until you’re ass planted on the floor.
Joshua's big hand grabs one of your wrists, and you look at him with panic.
“Come on, let’s help you out.”
“Wait wait, I’ll fall, Joshua!” 
There it is. The whine you desperately wanted to hold made it to the surface. It only makes him laugh even more.
“You’re okay, I won’t let you fall.” A bold statement for someone who clearly doesn't know the great amount of clumsiness encased in such a little body. He continues pulling you away from the wall and holding onto your hands. “Just relax, yeah?”
He starts skating backward slowly. You don't know how he manages to be so relaxed as you cut the circulation from his fingers. But it'll have to do.
“This was such a bad idea, I’m so embarrassed.”
He starts loosening the grip on your hands. Realization hits you instantly, eyes flying open as he distances himself from you.
"Don't you fucking dare, Hong Jisoo! Come back here!"
Chuckle after chuckle. Seems like you're his main source of comedy today.
“You can do it.”
“Joshua Hong, you better come and hold my fucking hands.”
It's a threat, but he doesn't see it as such, even with your gritted teeth. He only looks down at you, clearly amused.
“Come on, you’ll be fine. It's not that bad, is it?"
“Why are you doing this to me? My mistake was thinking you'd be better than Yoon Jeonghan but I was clearly wrong. I swear to god you’ll pay the hospital bills when my bones break, and I hope you feel guilty for the rest of your life, cause how can you do this shit to me, Jisoo. I absolutely despise the sh-”
“Stop ranting and look at yourself.” 
And you do. With a chuckle, you slowly and clumsily move your legs.
“Oh, would you look at that? I’m actually doing it.” You laugh, looking up at him. The fondness in his eyes sends butterflies to your stomach.
He comes closer then, and grabs your hands once again.
“Let’s move a little faster.” 
"Let's fucking not!"
He doesn’t even let you oppose before he’s moving quicker. You want to kill him for a moment, but then you're actually having fun, laughing together, very romantic.
Until you trip.
Thankfully, he’s quick to pull you onto him and wrap an arm around your waist to stop your fall.
Bodies pressing together, your hands placed against his chest, looking into his eyes.
“You okay?” He whispers, so close to your face you can actually see his condensed breath. 
You only nod, and for some reason, the two of you stay like this for a few seconds. Looking at each other, his eyes traveling between your eyes and down to your lips. 
You could swear he’s leaning in, maybe wishful thinking or whatever, but you can almost taste his lips.
But then he clears his throat and helps you stand straight.
“That was close.” He says with a small, nervous laugh. “Sorry if it was too much.”
Yeah, you're being delusional.
“No, it’s okay. It was fun.”
“Uh, well... It’s getting dark.” He continues, looking up at the sky, then looking back at you. “Should we head back?”
“Yeah, sure.”
He makes sure to help you get safely to the exit. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to go back to the cabins, that are sadly way too close to the rink… One hour alone with him wasn’t enough.
When you arrive, it saddens you to think that the special moment you shared with him is now over. Still, you wonder if what happened between you two back in the rink was really your imagination.
Your friends run to you as soon as they notice your arrival. They promise everything’s ready and all you need to do is get dressed and enjoy the party.
With a smile, you go back to your room and start getting ready.
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Later at night, everyone is already gathered outside. The boys whistle at you teasingly when you get out of your cabin, gaining a roll of your eyes in response.
“Stop it, you perverts.” 
“Lookin’ like a snack”
That's Soonyoung, now placing an arm around your neck with a proud grin. You quirk a brow, looking up at his face.
“What does that even mean?”
“He means you look hot,” Chan says, butting in.
“Ew,” Joking, you push Soonyoung away. He looks at you confused, so you laugh. “Just kidding.”
“You are a mean woman.” He exclaims in his usual dramatism.
Seokmin then comes and puts his arm around Soonyoung.
“I’ll take him. He’s a bit drunk.” With a wink, he starts pulling Soonyoung away, as he mutters “I’m not drunk!”
Chuckling, your eyes search for Joshua, who’s distracted and enrolled in a conversation with Minghao and Wonwoo. Your smile slightly falters, because somehow, you wish he had complimented you, too.
Chan then walks to you, placing an arm around your shoulder. You look at him in confusion, and he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows.
“So, how does it feel to be a noona?”
You snort.
“I’ve always been a noona to you.”
“You’re right. Didn’t know what to say, sorry.”
With another roll of your eyes, you push him away. The two of you laugh until you spot Jeonghan a moment later, and join him at one of the picnic tables.
Fresh steak is being grilled by Mingyu, music is being played by Vernon, and the rest are either drinking or sitting and having a chat. The two girls arrive not long after, shy at first but soon engaging easily in the conversation. You learn that they study online, Jihye is majoring in arts while Jangmi went into fashion design. Their parents have been renting cabins for years, and they plan to continue doing so when they are gone.
Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, you stand up from the picnic table to go for another beer, teeth clacking due to the freezing air. You get inside and grab an unopened can, switching it open and taking a swig. A grimace appears on your face at the cheap taste before turning around and going back outside.
You had planned to go back to the table, but your plans change when someone tugs at your wrist and stops you. You turn around and almost collide with Minghao’s figure. He grins.
“You look bored. Wanna dance?”
You smile.
“Sure.”
And that’s how it starts to get really fun, with the two of you dancing before at least another five of the boys join to dance along. It goes that way for a good part of the night, and admittedly, you don’t think you’ve had so much fun before.
These men’s antics are way too hilarious, as they keep clowning themselves without a care in the world despite the cold. That's when you decide it's time to go and grab Jihye and Jangmi by the hands, pulling them with you to join and dance, and they do, having fun when they feel comfortable enough.
You even see Joshua dancing along.
All of you dance until your limbs are exhausted, soon forcing you to excuse yourself. You grab another can of beer, this time deciding to take some fresh air on your own. Walking around until you find a nice spot on a little hill a few steps away, a bit quieter. 
You sit on the grass, knees pushed up and arms hugging them to keep yourself warm. You have a nice view of the city illuminated with different colored lights, something unexpected since all you’ve seen so far is haze.
Taking another swig of your drink, you let the cold wind touch your face. Everything is peaceful and quiet at the moment. Except for your mind.
Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you see the time being three in the morning. No wonder you suddenly feel so raw and vulnerable. 
Yearning that someone’s company so much is making your chest feel tight, and perhaps, your feelings aren’t just a simple crush at all.
A check on your social media shows the boys’ posts. There he is, with that beautiful smile of his that could light the whole town. Your heart flutters as you continue looking at his picture for who knows how long. A smile forms on your face, fingers grazing the shape of his face.
Then you hear someone’s footsteps approaching against the grass, eyes meeting with Jihoon’s right after. A subtle smile on his face when he sits right next to you.
“Hey, why aren’t you at your own party?”
You shrug.
“I just wanted to be alone for a while and think.”
Jihoon hums with a smile, looking ahead.
“Sounds dangerous.”
A small giggle leaves your lips. It's silent, only the breeze can be heard as you collect your thoughts.
“Jihoon,”
“Yeah?”
You crane your neck to look at him.
“Why do I always feel like I want to let my feelings out at this hour?
He thinks about it, leaning back against his palms.
“Well, you know what they say. Everyone turns into their most vulnerable self in the middle of the night. It’s often the time when I get the inspiration to compose.”
“I’m starting to understand what it truly means.” You confess with a nod. “It’s like I’m being overwhelmed with emotions, and I just wish I could lift them off my shoulders.”
Jihoon sits up straight and places his hand on yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze that you appreciate.
“If you feel the urge to let them out, maybe they don’t need to stay hidden.”
“But... It could have consequences.”
He retracts his hand and sighs.
“Yeah, but every decision has a result. Anything you do or say might lead to something, you can choose to find out what it is, or keep it bottled up and let it slowly consume you.”
You process his words carefully, smiling afterward.
“No wonder you’re so great at writing songs.”
“Had to find a productive way to let everything out.” He explains with a chuckle. “Wanna head back?”
“Yeah, I’ll reach you in a minute.”
Jihoon nods and stands up, walking back to where his friends are.
Grabbing your phone once again, fingers scroll through your contacts until you find his number and open the conversation.
There. Consider the possibilities. It’s the middle of the night. you know you can’t trust yourself at this hour, but somehow you’d rather get it off your chest now that you're feeling brave.
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That’s it. You’ve opened the gates to let your feelings escape. You hope it’s really worth it.
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You're still starting to feel the relief of lifting that weight off your shoulders, but also the uncertainty still managing to shoot a sprinkle of insecurity straight to your brain.
Locking your phone and shoving it back into your pocket, you feel nauseous and your heart is heavy. You fucked up. You know you did.
Sighing, you rest your forehead against your forearms. Your eyes flutter shut as you desperately try to stabilize your breathing. The knot in your stomach becomes painful, your throat tight enough to make your airways feel constricted.
Then, it's time to stand up. You’re not really sure how you’re gonna face Joshua, or the rest of the boys, for that matter. Not now that you decided it was a good idea to confess your feelings through a text message.
However, you stop in your tracks the moment you see Joshua. The air is completely knocked out of your lungs as he silently approaches.
Locks of hair subtly blow in the wind, the moonlight makes his skin glow oh, so gracefully, and his pupils are surely putting the stars at shame. His lips are slightly agape, subtle clouds of fog escaping from his mouth, erratic breathing hinting how he must’ve hurried to come and find you.
It's an urge for you to say anything, but your brain can’t even formulate coherent sentences.
“Josh-”
An arm of his wraps around your waist, pulling you against him before his lips are enclosing yours in a kiss, interrupting whatever excuse you were planning on using.
Eyes flutter close instantly, hands clasping around his wrists. The kiss is soft, sweet, and too short for your liking. He barely pulls back, lips still inches away from yours, noses brushing when he says: 
“I do like you.”
Joshua's thumb runs over your lower lip, staring down at you with half-lidded dark eyes. His smile appears right after, bright and contagious, a breathy chuckle falling from his mouth. You smile back, hands moving up to find purchase at the sides of his neck.
“Do you?”
Dumb question, but you can’t help but ask it.
“Yeah.” He promptly responds, pressing another chaste kiss against your mouth. “So much.”
“Lucky me.”
You're now the one who chuckles, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into another kiss.
Nothing could’ve ever prepared you for the way it feels to have his lips on yours. He's unsurprisingly a very skilled kisser. Knowing perfectly well how to move his lips slowly and delicious, the liplock accompanied by soft nips, sucks, and rhythmic movements against the other’s mouth. He tilts his head and pulls you further against his mouth, hands cupping your jaw. Your head spins in pure ecstasy.
The kiss breaks slowly, still in a daze when you detail the way his lips have turned red and swollen. His thumbs gently rub the skin of your cheeks, and it feels like you're about to vomit a whole zoo. He pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your body and embracing you tightly.
You bury your face in his chest and breathe him in. You embrace all of him and his sweet scent, letting your eyes close and humming contently as your fingers curl on the fabric of his coat.
“How are we going to explain this?”
“We don’t need to.” He says, pulling back and looking at you. “Seems everyone knew what was going on, except me.”
That certainly makes you laugh, cause you've been way too obvious all along.
“That’s embarrassing.”
“Tell me about it.” He agrees, placing a kiss on top of your head. “Wanna go back?”
He extends his hand palm up. You look down at it before intertwining your fingers, a smile on your face.
As soon as you arrive, the teasing begins.
“Took you both long enough!”
Seems like you ended up being the center of attention for a very different reason. Your cheeks burn as Joshua releases your hand and grabs your wrist instead, moving you to stand next to him, then placing his arm around your waist.
He's the one who decides to retort first.
“Yeah yeah, drop it already.”
“I was almost going to confess in her name at this point.” Jeonghan jokes, approaching the two of you.
“Still bitter you didn’t tell me shit,” Joshua confesses, your best friend shakes his hand and gives him a quick, brotherly hug.
“I could’ve, but she would’ve whined about it for years.”
A glare shoots in his direction straight from your eyes, smacking his chest, which makes him laugh.
“Who would’ve thought you can actually keep a secret?”
“Don’t test your luck, I still know plenty of things your new boyfriend would love to know.”
Joshua looks at you with a quirked brow, but you’re quick to grab his hand and start pulling him away.
“Anyway who wants to dance?!”
Joshua looks between you and Jeonghan, who's being left behind. He's clearly intrigued by the situation but follows you nonetheless.
You’ll remember to invite Jihoon to grab some food later.
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It's way past five when you're in your bed staring at the ceiling. Everyone must be either passed out somewhere or getting ready for bed since the sun will be rising soon.
There’s only one thing on your mind now that you’re back in your room.
You grab your phone and unlock it, looking for the conversation you started a few hours ago. Fingers typing almost on autopilot, hoping he’s still awake.
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Excitement fills your body when you place your phone back on the nightstand. It doesn’t take long until you hear a soft knock on the door.
“Come in!”
You soon see his face, his hand running through his slightly messy hair. Wearing a pair of sweats and a tank top that lets you admire his bare, toned biceps. Teeth sinking in your lip in anticipation, no one could ever look this good.
Scooting, you make room for him on your bed, lifting the covers so he can slide in. As soon as he does, you’re both face to face. It's so charming that even in his tired state, he smiles and places a soft kiss on your lips.
Burying your face in his neck and playing with the hairs at the back of his head, he hums, letting you know he appreciates the gesture before his arms wrap around your frame, pulling you even more into his.
“Hmm, you smell nice.” You admit, a breathy chuckle escaping from his mouth and making his chest vibrate against you.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
The sudden pet name sends a wave of sparks through your body, not to mention the arousal of knowing he’s using a pet name just for you.
“I could get used to you calling me nice things.”
Joshua pulls back to look into your eyes once again, a light smirk now forming on his lips.
“Yeah?”
Big hand lifts and runs its fingers through your hair.
“Yeah.”
The two of you stay quiet for a moment, but his eyes never leave yours. Smile slowly vanishing the more the tension in the room arises. His soft touches start to become bold, with a hand running from your neck to your shoulder, and from your shoulder down your arm.
“Your skin is so warm, so soft.” It's a mumble, barely audible, as his hand moves from your arm to your waist, gently pushing up the hem of your shirt and letting his hand travel through your curves.
His touch makes your skin erupt in goosebumps.
“I like it when you touch me.”
“Hmm. You shouldn’t say that to me.” He whispers, mouth ghosting over yours as his hand travels upwards, finding your ribs. “I don’t think I can hold back.”
“Then don’t.” 
His gaze darkens at your words, glued to yours in the barely illuminated room. Your body is now craving him, yearning for his touch after dreaming about him for so long.
Joshua then makes the next move, propping on his elbow, his upper half hovering over you. 
You look up at him when his hand comes in contact with your cheek. His beauty is immaculate under the moonlight peeking through the windows. There's so much want being shared. The sight of him on you is so alluring it’ll be engraved in your memory for the rest of your life.
The necklace hanging from his neck looks so tempting, makes you want to curl your fingers around it just to pull him in and succumb to your true desires.
“Then remember that you asked for it.” He speaks again. “I’m going to worship every inch of your skin and kiss at every corner the way I want, give you whatever you wish while making you mine.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
He drags his fingers down your skin, eyes shifting from yours to down your lips.
“Fuck.”
Before anything else can be said, he leans in and kisses you. His kiss once again takes over all your senses. So slow, open-mouthed, and passionate. Your hands fly to the back of his head to tangle in his soft locks, kissing him in a way he could feel how much you’ve wanted to have him.
His thigh spreads your legs to position himself between them more comfortably. His big hands roam down your neck, shoulders, and waist, making sure that his fingers dance along every single inch of your skin, setting it aflame.
You nip at his lip, tugging gently and making him groan. The tip of your tongue teases the area before he lets his own dive into your mouth to press, roll, and play.
Both can feel the arousal pooling in your underwear, the heat and the need are unbearable. You're clenching around nothing, an effect only his kiss has caused. Pathetic, but real.
Joshua's mouth starts traveling from the corner of your lips, to your jaw and down your neck. You bite your lip again, trying not to whimper and melt into a piddle. Tilting your head back to give him more access, the heaviness in your breath is enough to agitate him, and soon you feel the hard tent in his sweatpants pressing against your thigh.
A lift of your hips and a slight grind are enough to make him curse under his breath as his fingers claw onto your waist.
“Fuck.” He grunts before his tongue gently laps at the exposed column of your neck. You scrap at his scalp, tugging on his hair before grinding on him again. His kiss travels upwards, finding your ear and nibbling on the lobe, “You’re gonna be the death of me.” He whispers, voice hoarse and lust-filled.
“Please, Joshua.” You can't help but beg, beg for him to give you more, pressing yourself against him as much as possible. “I need you.”
“I got you, baby. Let’s take your clothes off, yeah?”
He pulls back and slides his fingers under your shirt, lifting it and pulling it over your head before throwing it somewhere in the room.
His eyes get even more hooded at the sight of your bare breasts, pupils dilating as his hands start running down your bare torso, slowly, smoothly, the touch burning your skin. His palms enclose your chest, kneading gently, his thumbs run over the perked nipples, rolling them between his digits. You moan at the action, hands clasping around his biceps and nails clawing on his skin. He bites his lip as he watches every reaction of yours, finally lowering his head to wrap his lips around one of your nipples.
A whimper falls from your mouth the moment his tongue starts playing with your sensitive buds. He looks up, not wanting to miss any expression of yours as he continues to suck, lick, and suck again.
“Fuck, Shua, that feels so good.”
He hums, moving to the neglected breast and repeating the process. His free hand runs down your stomach, sliding under the waistband of your panties. Long middle finger soon sliding between your folds, pressing on the wet button and making you choke on a moan.
“So wet. I’ve barely touched you, baby.” He teases, pulling away from your nipple and smirking at you. His fingers start rubbing up and down, face hovering over yours, staring intently. He pushes two of his fingers into your hole, and your back arches against his chest.
His lips keep that smirk on, nodding at you while you moan. “That’s it. Feels good, yeah?”
You bite your lip and manage to nod.
Joshua starts pumping his fingers faster, moving his body from over you to get rid of your pants and your panties by dragging them down your legs. All of this without stopping with his ministrations.
There you are, in all your naked glory in front of him, so exposed and vulnerable, but not feeling scared because the way he looks at you is enough to make you feel so wanted.
“So pretty, all for me.” He leans down and grazes his lips against the skin of your tummy. Curling up his fingers, he grazes the perfect spot that makes you moan even louder. Eyes fixated on you with a quirked brow, followed by a breathy laugh. “If you keep being so loud, everyone’s gonna know how good you are at taking fingers, huh?”
You're really trying here, but you can't keep quiet. His teasing words only turn you on even more and make you clench around his digits, feeling your climax approaching at a rapid speed.
“Sorry.” You croak. “It feels so good.”
“I can tell, you’re clenching tightly. How are you going to take my cock?”
He seems to love teasing, as he places kisses on your thighs. Who would've thought? He's apparently not the same gentleman in bed, and you love it.
“I can do it. I will do it.”
Joshua stares at you with both pride and amusement. It’s almost enough to hide the fact that his dick is hard as a rock, but since he’s not trying to hide it, you promptly watch as his free hand moves to palm himself over his clothes.
“Then come for me, so we can make it happen.”
You should probably be more obedient, but you're so desperate you move your hands to the hem of his shirt to lift it up slightly and he quickly takes it off with a chuckle. The sight is hypnotizing, muscles divinely built for your hands to touch, smooth skin screaming to be kissed, and your mouth is watering.
Extending your hand, you run it over his torso, fingers dancing across his abs and chest as he sits on his ankles. The tight knot on your stomach soon releases with the sight of the naked man in front of you, and you reach your climax with chants of his name. Your back arching, legs shaking.
“That’s it. Such a good girl.” He praises, helping you ride out of your peak.
While you try to catch your breath, he pulls his fingers out of you and brings them to his lips to lick them clean. You almost whimper again, 'cause how can someone like him, so sweet and gentlemanly, be so dirty and hot.
Your hands fly to the back of his neck and pull him into a heated kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. Your hands run down the soft skin of his back.
He breaks the kiss to look at you, panting, clearly way too aroused to keep holding back, so he pulls back and gets rid of his pants and boxers. There you see him, standing free and hard, pink at the head and leaking with arousal. You can’t hold back the wish to touch him, hand flying to wrap around his shaft to pump his length.
He lets out the prettiest moan you could’ve heard, which impulses you to apply more pressure on his shaft. Sitting up, your lips wrap around the head of his cock, gentle sucks and twirls of your tongue sending him into a frenzy. You tug up and down, pointed tongue running over the leaking slit, the salty precum filling your tastebuds.
Joshua looks down at you, ragged breath as he places his gentle hand on the back of your head. You lick a stripe of his length from the base to the head, looking up at him and pressing your thighs together in search of some relief when you witness the blissful expression on his face. Pushing his length further down your throat, you almost choke in hopes to hear more of his luscious sounds.
He's quick to pull you away from him, and you frown. He kisses your lips, licking on your tongue and making you moan against his mouth before he pulls back.
"Love that you're so eager to suck my cock, baby, but if I let you continue, I won't last."
What a filthy fucking mouth he has.
“Fuck, Shua. Please baby, please take me already.”
Joshua bites his already swollen lip, moving your hand away from his length to wrap it in his own and place it at your entrance.
“You ready?”
He starts slowly pushing himself into you as soon as you nod. The tightness of your clamping walls makes him choke a moan of his own, as he waits for you to adjust to his size. You take advantage of the moment to start placing open-mouthed kisses on his neck and shoulder. 
Soon he starts to move his hips, making your head spin with the rhythm of his thrusts. You cling onto his body, wrapping your legs around his waist to press him further into you as soon as he bottoms out. Joshua supports his body with one of his arms beside your head, the free one holding onto your waist as his pace starts quickening.
“Shit, so tight.” He moans, snapping his hips against yours and hitting all the right spots. Truthfully, you could cream again by just hearing the sounds he's making. “You were made for me, to take my cock.” He adds, jaw tightening as he moves his hand to interlace his fingers with yours.
“So good, so big.” You cry out. “I’ve belonged to you since the day I saw you.”
He's leaning down after a breathy curse, kissing you again, a bit sloppier, tongues playing as his hips continue speeding up.
You hope in the back of your mind that no one can hear the sounds of skin slapping against skin, however, you’re far too gone to really care.
“If I had known sooner…” He grunts, hand sliding down to find your clit to rub on it with the pads of his fingers. You scratch his back as he continues. “All this time pining over you but thinking you were not really interested.” He confesses, a particular thrust of his hips making you cry out again. “I deserve all the teasing.”
“Fuck, Joshua, I’m so close.” It's a whole trail of whimpers and moans that you let out between each sentence, pressing his sweaty body against yours. “Been harboring these feelings for so long, Joshua, fuck.”
You’re soon grabbed by the waist and flipped over to straddle him. His head against the headrest and hands on your hips. 
“Ride me like that. Shit.” He orders in between moans, biting his lip as his hand roams up and down your back. “I wanna be in so deep.”
You roll your hips, bouncing every now and then as your hands find leverage on his strong and broad shoulders.
"Oh my fucking God.”
“Cum baby, and milk me dry. Show me how much you mean it.” He demands through gritted teeth, rubbing again on your clit. “How much you’ve wanted me all this time.”
And as if it was a magic spell, you come undone around him, legs shaking and back arching. You bite your lip so hard it draws blood, but you don’t care. 
Your walls clench around him hard enough for him to cum right after you with a throaty groan. His hot seed spills inside you in thick spurts, painting your walls white. A few more sloppy thrusts and you’re soon collapsing onto his clammy chest. His heart is racing, but so is yours.
Joshua's strong arms wrap around you, soft caresses on your back as you remain connected for a while.
When the two of you manage to regain your composure, he pulls out of you and helps you lay on your back, turning around to look into your eyes. He looks at you silently, full of adoration at your flushed face.
"What is it?"
He shakes his head, smile remaining on his face.
"Just admiring."
A light snort escapes from you, not an offensive one, and he knows. He's well aware of your shyness, of the pink on your cheeks.
"Admiring? Me?" You chuckle, but admittedly flattered. "Have you seen yourself?"
His perfectly shaped brow quirks at that, before he quickly glances down at himself.
"Yes. You. Actually, I see myself every day in the mirror."
Clicking your tongue, you turn to your side, meeting his gaze.
"I mean..." You trail off. "I know to you it's nothing, but like, you're so so good looking. Like, incredibly so. And I'm not saying this because you're now my boyfriend or because I'm biased, I just genuinely think that if there was a human form for perfection, it'll look like-"
"I love you."
You stop ranting, looking up at him. He's just smiling, and you don't think someone has ever looked at you this way. With so much love.
"What?"
He chuckles, big hands moving to cup your cheeks.
"I said I love you."
You could cry. You think you might, and perhaps, you're actually tearing up, but it's well hidden by the grin on your face, same grin he starts kissing right after.
"I love you, too." You finally say in between kisses.
Once the kiss breaks, It's hard for you to keep your eyes open, but you try your best to look at his post-climax glory.
“That was intense, by the way. And the four letter word at the end? The cherry on top.”
Joshua smiles, tongue darting out to wet his lips.
“Just wait until we wake up in a couple of hours.”
Cheeks heating up instantly, you start laughing.
He leans down and kisses you one more time, much more slowly, then pulls back, placing a small peck on your forehead, then standing up from the bed.
You watch as he puts his sweats and boxers back on. Wrapping the sheets around your body as he goes to the bathroom and comes back with a towel. He doesn’t need to turn the lights on, considering that the sun is already up. He smiles at you and gently cleans you up, sharing a few kisses before he helps you dress again. A protest is what he receives, too tired to move, however, he just chuckles.
“Come on, love. It’s freezing cold. Let me dress you up so we can sleep, yeah?”
With a groan, you end up sitting up and letting him help you. Soon after that, you’re both falling asleep together on your bed.
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“Okay, this was definitely a memorable experience.” Seokmin says, as everyone gets the luggage into the vans.
“It was fun!” Soonyoung agrees, placing his arm around Vernon’s shoulder.
“Well, except for Joshua hyung giving it to our favorite girl til early in the fucking morning.”
You smack Seungkwan across the head and he rubs the sore spot.
“Shut the fuck up. You heard nothing.”
“At least someone was getting laid,” Mingyu adds.
“Are we ready to leave? I really don’t feel like discussing someone’s sexual escapades this early in the morning.”
Of course, it'll be the dad of the group cutting the shit out.
You bid the two girls goodbye, promising to keep in contact and visit soon. thanking them for everything they did.
When everyone’s already inside their vans, you wave at the girls and go back to your seat. Fastening your seatbelt, you look at Jeonghan, who looks back at you with a smirk.
When he least expects it, you place a smooch on his cheek.
Taken aback, his hand moves to touch the place where the kiss landed.
“What was that for?”
You just shrug. “You’re my best friend and I love you.”
Jeonghan can only roll his eyes.
“I was going to tease you for getting some, but that was actually sweet.”
You respond with a chuckle, grabbing his hand and interlacing your fingers together.
“Of course you would, bestie.”
You soon meet eyes with Joshua, who smiles before grabbing your other hand and interlacing your fingers, bringing it to his lips and kissing on the back of it. 
Then, Jeonghan suddenly grabs your face and places a loud smooch on your cheek, making you gasp and laugh out loud, disbelief written on your face.
“Just to remind Joshua he has to share. Don’t expect this gesture to happen very often, though.”
You laugh and rest your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder, still holding both of your favorite boys’ hands.
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