#pilot dib and zim are here if you know where to look

[ghostorbz]

Went kinda crazy on the zadr doodles

[thatonegeekygirl]

Makin' My Way Downtown (A Spacejunk AU Invader Zim Fanfic)

as promised an unfortunate amount of time ago, here is a more-long-then-originally-intended and somewhat convoluted fanfiction for @l-ii-zz's spacejunk au! i strongly suggest checking her page out before reading this so you can get a sense of where the chracters are at--and also meet her iz oc, Urania! basic storyline, zim, dib and gir head out for a nice afternoon at a mooga mart on Quanax. banter is exchanged, absurd amounts of snacks are bought, zims past comes back to bite him, general shenanigens occur. zadf, adult dib, and lots of made-up space language.

here’s the link the the space junk au masterpost:

now, on to the fic!!

The Poltergeist cruised through space, its hull glinting in the light from a nearby star. Operating systems hummed their content song. Little bits of rock bumped against the solar windshield, not even leaving a scratch. Scanners sweeped back and forth, a vigilant eye for enemy vessels or heavenly bodies, alert and attuned. Meticulous. Serene. Controlled. 

Unlike the beings found inside it.

“GIR!” Zim shrieked for the umpteenth time that day. “Cease that infernal noise and get over here!”

The little robot ignored him.

Zim sighed deeply. “...Urania.”

“GIR, come along,” the ship's AI ordered.

“Comin’ ship lady!” GIR called cheerfully, dropping the two metal rods he’d been banging together and skipping over to the console. He jumped into Zim’s lap and Zim growled once before tucking GIR in beside him in the pilot seat. 

“Dib, make sure we don’t run into an asteroid, if you would.” Zim transferred command of the ship to Dib’s control pad. “GIR, give me your leg.”

“No promises,” Dib clipped. “Where’re we going again?”

“No, GIR, the other leg!” Zim groaned, as GIR threw his normal appendage in the air. “Urgh, Dib, weren’t you listening?”

“Nope,” Dib said frankly.

“Insufferable,” Zim muttered. He grasped GIR’s replacement leg and drew a multi-use tool from his PAK. He began tightening the connection between the leg and GIR’s metal shell. “We are going to planet Quanax in the Froogl system, as I told you before.”

“What are we going there for?” Dib asked, eyeing a particularly big piece of space junk as it floated past them. 

“If you must know, it is the site for the largest Mooga Mart in the galaxy! Which you would know, if you paid any attention, Dib,” Zim scorned. He dropped GIR’s leg, and GIR happily settled into the seat, kicking his legs with glee.

“Mooga Mart?” Dib snickered. “What the hell is a Mooga Mart?”

“It’s a Mooga Mart.” Zim blinked at him. Upon realizing the human required more explanation, he groaned and continued. “Mega Mart is fine. Mega Mega Mart is better. Mega Mega Mega Mart is better than that. Extra Mega Mart is better than that. Extremely Fantastic Mart is eh. And Mooga Mart is the best! For Irk’s sake, how long have you been in space!?”

“Apparently not long enough to learn about the different levels of Mart,” Dib commented, grinning to himself as Zim rather seriously puzzled over Dib’s lack of knowledge of Mooga Marts. “What’s a Mooga Mart got anyway?” “Irken products!” Zim declared, tossing a finger into the air. “All the Irken products!”

“Gee.” Dib raised his eyebrows. “How come we haven’t gone to one before? Considering they’ve got all the Irken products.”

“Well. We’ve never traveled close to one before.” Zim shrugged. “Oh!” He pointed to the screen, which now displayed a flashing icon that looked distinctly like a mini-Woolmart. “We’ve arrived!”

“Urania, set auto-approach,” Dib said, flicking the main engines off.

“Oh, certainly, Captain.” Urania’s invisible touch guided the ship towards the planet.

“...I honestly can’t tell if that was sarcastic or not,” Dib muttered. 

“Ha!” Zim grinned impishly. “Why, Dib, she is so obviously serious! You are the Captain, the King, the Big Kahuna, Our All-Powerful Leader, the Bulk Bag of Cheddar Cheese–”

“Christ, I get the point!” Dib swiped a hand at Zim’s face.  

The Poltergeist swerved around ringed planets of various colors, ducked beneath a massive freighter ship, and joined the line of spacecraft easing their way into Quanax’s atmosphere.

“GIR, see that fast food mascot?” Zim gestured to an obnoxious sign featuring a bulbous alien creature with an absurdly large head, holding a seeping burger-like object and declaring, ‘EAT THIS FOOD!!’ in bubble letters. He wrapped an arm around GIR’s shoulders and threw a hand into the air. “His head is nearly as big as Dib’s!”

GIR ooo’d loudly as a cackling Zim scrambled away from Dib’s second strike.

“Remind me again why I hang out with you?” Dib asked in exasperation, glaring at Zim as the alien shifted smugly back into his chair.

“Aw, you love me.” Zim smirked.

“My mistake.”

Urania, ignoring them, guided the ship into a docking port, and dropped it somewhat abruptly on its landing stilts.

“Yeagh!” Zim spluttered as the vessel shuddered, grasping the sides of his chair.

“Bit of a rough landing there, Urania?” Dib said weakly from the floor.

“Again!” GIR cheered.

“Schlorfin’ AI, bet she did that on purpose,” Zim grumbled. He smoothed his skewed antenna and righted his rumpled suit.

“Not at all,” Urania replied smoothly, “just space turbulence.”

“No space turbulence if we’re not in space,” Zim muttered under his breath. But he picked up GIR and set him firmly on the floor, and made no further argument.  “Chop chop, Dib, Mooga Mart awaits!” 

“Just…gimme a minute for my lungs to face the right direction…” Dib managed, 

“To quote good ol’ Commander Poki…” Zim held a hand out to Dib, and when the man took it, yanked him in one aggressive motion to his feet. “Walk it off!” He slapped Dib’s back. Dib groaned brokenly, then blinked.

“Wait, that actually…helped? Somehow?” He said slowly.

“I’ve found hitting often does,” Zim replied nonchalantly. “Though I admit it is usually directed at the enemy. GIR, if I see you fiddling with that leg one more time I’m going to blow it off myself!”

GIR looked up from pulling at his replacement leg with a caught-red-handed look.

“Yes, I noticed.” Zim narrowed his eyes on the robot. “You’re not so sneaky. Urania, we’ll be back in a couple hours, do try to not leave the planet without us onboard.” He marched down the corridor, waving the other two after him.

“I shall hold on to the one scrap of sympathy I have for GIR and endeavor not to,” Urania replied blithely. As Zim disappeared out the hanger doors she materialized beside Dib. He suppressed a shriek.

“Get me a repetitive laser, model G7R-69,” she said. “Don’t forget.”

“...why?” Dib questioned.

“A specific and important reason that I will not share with you at this time.”

Dib stared at her for a moment. “...Well, that's cryptic. C’mon, GIR.” He picked up the SIR unit and placed him in his hood, much to GIR’s delight. “I doubt Zim will appreciate it if we get left behind minutes after arriving.”

Dib tromped out of the ship, with squealing robot in tow, to find Zim gazing out at the sprawling megatropolis before them.

“Isn’t it glorious?” The aforementioned Irken grinned widely.

If one enjoyed box stores the size of New York city with an even more dismally gray color scheme, surrounded by swarming air traffic and the sound of machinery, it certainly was.

“How do you find anything in that?” Dib questioned, staring with skepticism at the many alien departments reaching as far as the eye could see, both side to side and upwards–and presumably downwards. 

One of Zim’s PAK arms pulled something out of the device with flourish. “Map!”

“Right. Lead the way, space-man,” Dib said.

Zim began striding forwards, toward the huge doors marked ‘Entrance’ in bold pink letters, which seemed a bit overtly obvious. Dib followed, taking in the surprisingly small number of customers roaming around the area outside the building. “How come no one’s here?”

“Mooga Mart is nearly always filled with Irken consumers,” Zim explained, exuding smugness out the ying yang. “EXCEPT! On Irken holidays. One of which,” he gloated, “is so conveniently today!”

“Tallest Day!” Dib snapped his fingers. “Of course!”

“Only the Irken Elite are permitted to skimp on Tallest Day celebrations, so the Mart will be virtually empty. All those licking sticks, just sitting there for the taking!” Zim clapped his hands together gleefully. “...though I am suspicious of the origins of Tallest Day. Something in my squeedily spooch tells me the Tallest may have invented it as an excuse for parade floats of their faces and extra snacks.”

“Could be,” Dib said solemnly.

“Now, there is a scanner we have to pass through in order to be granted access to the Mart,” Zim explained. “Only Irkens are allowed through, unless you have explicit permission from an Irken and the Irken is present, in which case other species can enter as well. Just follow my lead!”

The three of them approached a kiosk-looking thing manned by what could have been an Earthen teenage movie theater employee if not for his third eye and tentacles. Beside it was a white and pink chamber with clear windows in the front and back.

“Wait, if you have to be scanned won’t it realize you’re not an Irken Elite?” Dib hissed under his breath, eyes flicking between his friend and the scanner. “And also, y’know, that you’re the traitorous criminal Invader Zim?”

“Quit worrying. It only scans for Irken DNA, not specific individuals,” Zim reassured him. “And even if it did, no one's going to risk leaving Irk on Tallest Day just to arrest us.”

“Step onto the pad to confirm your genetic code,” the alien warbled as they stopped at the counter.

Zim marched onto it, and the glass opened and closed behind him. He tucked his hands behind his back and tapped his foot impatiently. “Hurry it up, security drone, I have things to do!”

“Please keep all limbs and other appendages inside the Scan-O-Tron™️ until the Scanning™️ is complete,” the alien said, monotone.

He pressed a button, and neon pink rings began rising out of the floor, up around Zim, and into the ceiling. The machine buzzed as it worked. After a moment or two, a ding sounded from the employee's control panel. 

“Scanning™️ complete. You may enter the premises.”

Zim strode out the other side. Dib moved to follow him, but the glass slid shut with a slam before him and GIR could enter.

“Irkens only, unless you have permission from a present Irken,” the alien said flatly.

“They’re with me,” Zim said. “Let them through or I will have a very serious conversation with your superior!”

“Do you take full responsibility for…” the alien squinted at Dib. “...the squishy pink thing and the SIR unit?”

“Yes yes yes, whatever, just open the ding dang door!” Zim rolled his eyes.

The alien employee shrugged and pushed another button. The glass parted before Dib.

He walked through the threshold, only slightly miffed at the comment on his apparent squishy pinkness. 

“Let’s go get a cart,” he said, glancing around the massive area and trying not to become disoriented by the sheer magnitude of stuff.

“First things first,” Zim said briskly. “Gimme GIR.”

Dib raised an eyebrow, but reached behind himself and grabbed the robot from his hood. GIR waved his hands excitedly and tried to bounce but succeeded only in shaking Dib’s arms. 

“Are we there yet!?” the SIR unit shrieked.

“Indeed we are,” Zim replied calmly, taking him from Dib. With habitual grace, Zim tossed him over his head and waited while metal cords snaked out of his PAK and around the robot, securing him to his back in a contraption amusingly reminiscent of a baby carrier.

Dib gave Zim a look.

“He wanders,” the alien explained shortly.

“Don’t I know it.”

Zim trotted to a enormous collection of floating, rectangular white carts and motioned for Dib to grab one. He did, and the three of them, led by Zim and his map, entered the maze of aisles and shelves. They were fairly well organized, with the merchandise stacked neatly and their prices displayed in holographic pink. Signs hung suspended in the air telling patrons what things were where, with the occasional one advertising some Irken product or another. There were small circular objects hovering just above the ground at consistently spaced intervals. These confused Dib until he saw a thin little Irken climb on one and ride it up to the higher shelving units.

“This way.” Zim pointed to the right, briefly looking up from the map. “Snacks are top priority, obviously. After that, the discount section. You’d be shocked at the things people will just throw in there! And if we have time after that, we’ll check out some of the new Invader tech the Scientists have come out with.” “You do know you’re not an Invader anymore, right?” Dib commented, half serious.

“Sure,” Zim replied, “but I still have standards.”

The snack section, to the surprise of no one, was at the forefront of the store, and only took them a minute or two to find. Zim stared giddily at the rows upon rows of alien candy and junk food, practically vibrating. As he began stuffing everything in sight into the cart, Dib examined some of the stranger food choices around him. Picking up a bag of Gummy Wyverns in one hand and a cylinder of Sour Star Dust in the other, he came to the conclusion that Zim’s infinite supply of energy probably came from the absurd amount of sugar he consumed. Perhaps if he, too, consumed absurd amounts of sugar…

He tossed the two snacks into the cart.

No harm in trying.

As he pushed the cart down the aisle, he read all the labels and attempted to figure out what exactly each of the foods might actually contain–Irken food products did not come with such foolish things as Nutrition Facts. Moments later Zim, finally content with the number of calories piled inside the cart, nodded thoughtfully.

“We’ve still got enough room to grab some discounted supplies!” He declared. “This way Dib!” He led them out of the aisle they were in and left, into an area filled with massive cans of screws.

“Can we lookit the fishy things!?” GIR screeched from Zim’s back.

Zim grimaced. “...fine, we can look at the fishy things. After we get everything else.”

“I, too, wish to look at ‘the fishy things’,” Dib said.

“We’ll look at the fishy things!” Zim growled. “You people really need to get your priorities straight.” “Says the Irken who just stuffed our cart overflowing with junk food,” Dib retorted under his breath.

“I heard that!” Zim threw a hand up in the air. He quickened his stride until eventually Dib was forced to run full tilt after him, cart swerving perilously and growing heavier by the second. Eons later Zim came to an abrupt stop, causing Dib to shriek and dig his heels into the linoleum floor to avoid crashing into him. The cart came to a stop inches behind the aliens head.

“What…was that…for…?” Dib panted, leaning on the cart’s handle.

“Now we’ll have time to look at the fishy things,” Zim explained calmly, not even slightly out of breath. Dib was sure his voice sounded genial to any onlookers but Dib could damn well hear the smug lilt hidden within its innocent facade. 

“Alright, alright, the genius Irken wins.” Dib rolled his eyes. “Can we just look at the discounts now?”

Zim gestured to the sign above them reading ‘Discounted Items’. “Since I have so thoughtfully brought us to them in short order, yes we may.” 

“Okay, now you’re not fooling anybody!” A chuckle snuck its way out of Dib’s chest.

“Fooling?” Zim eyes grew comically wide. “Fooling? What are you implying, dear boy? There is no fooling commencing in this fine establishment! I have only the utmost respect for my fellow cabin mates. I’m offended you would imply such crass behavior!”

“When did you become a Victorian gentleman?” Dib raised an eyebrow.

“What are you talking about, Dib? Really. You’re losing it. And if you keep stalling we’ll run out of time to see the fishy things!” Zim tutted.

Dib pushed the cart into the first Discounted Items aisle with one hand and grabbed the back of Zim’s suit with the other.

“Yee!” Zim shrieked involuntarily, to which Dib chortled. 

The alien grinned darkly, all teeth. “That's how you want to play, huh?” “What does that mean–YAGH!” Zim ripped himself out of Dib’s grasp and climbed up his back, claws digging into the fabric and scratching at his skin. “Zim! That tickles!” 

Mercifully, as Zim reached his shoulders he ceased his scrabbling, swinging his legs across Dib’s chest. “March, soldier!” The alien cried.

“As long as you don’t pull at my hair,” Dib warned, and continued walking.

“Victory for Zim!” Zim crowed triumphantly. “Ooo, look, industrial heated blanket.”

“Dude, I know you love your heated things, but aren’t name-brand heated blankets super pricey? Do we have the funds for something that expensive?” Dib pried, wincing as he visualized the numbers on his monies rectangle dropping into the red zone.

Zim gestured widely to the price tag, which read: “98% OFF!!!! LAST ONE IN STOCK!!!!!!! SAVE 76’000 MONIES!!!!!!!!!!!! (seriously for the love of Irk buy this thing we can’t take down the sign out front advertising heated blankets until they’re all sold out and we can’t put a new ad out till it's gone and the other product investors are getting angry enough to shoot something) ((probably me)) ((I am begging you take this gashlinking thing))).

Dib shrugged the shoulder Zim wasn’t sitting on and tossed the boxed item into their cart. “Fair enough.” 

“Come, Dib, all we have to do is walk straight through the Discounted Items aisle and we’ll be at the fishy things! And then the tech section is right above them on the third floor! Sometimes my marvelous planning skills impress even myself.” Zim grinned.

“‘Aisle’, singular? There’s only one?” Dib asked.

“Indeed!”

“Oh, well, this shouldn’t take too long then.”

~2 hours and 23 minutes later…~

“Is…is that the end…?” Dib breathed, drooping eyelids fluttering as his pupils registered a break in the straight shelving to both his sides.

“Alas, we have reached the end of the discounts,” Zim said mournfully. “But not without acquiring two packs of Irken Purple-Pop soda, a heated blanket, a 50 foot length of bungee rope, new speakers for The Poltergeist’s lounge, a box of miscellaneous screws and nails, a couple of heating coils for my latest project, that weird wrist-computer you seemed so excited about, three pairs of welding goggles, antenna-pods for my Music-y Box Thing, and a Tobbleberry lolly for GIR!”

Ignoring the majority of Zim’s sentence, Dib yelled, “Finally!” And rushed the last couple meters to the end of the aisle. “Sweet fresh air! Miles and miles of AISLE really does something to a person! God, I missed space for my elbows!” He flung his hands wide out.

“Er, Dib-friend?” Zim tapped the top of Dib’s head.

“Hm?” Dib opened an eye to look at him.

Zim tipped his head to the side a couple times, giving him a look. Dib followed his gaze.

A pair of Irkens in one aisle and a singular one in another were staring at Dib detestfully.

Dib smiled awkwardly and gave them a hesitant half-wave before lowering both his arms. “Zin,” he whispered, trying to keep his lips from moving. “‘Ich ‘ay are ‘e goin’?”

Zim dutifully pointed right. Dib looked resolutely at the cart, to keep it from hitting things and not at all to avoid locking eyes with the unimpressed Irkens, and pushed it towards the fishy things.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Dib muttered.

“I wasn’t laughing,” Zim said.

“You were going to.” “Well, you’ll never know now.” Zim patted Dib’s black hair. “Maybe I was going to comfort you with a kind hug and tell you that the hugely amusing event that just took place was not your fault somehow.”

“Y’know, I’d be more inclined to believe you if you hadn’t just called it ‘hugely amusing’,” Dib retorted.

Luckily for Dib–or possibly the both of them–before Zim could continue the conversation, GIR waved a pointer finger in a vaguely forward direction and yelled, “The fishy things!”

“Yes GIR, those are the fishy things.” Zim nodded. Then froze. “Wait, how did you get out!?”

GIR, now leaning on Zim’s head with his little metal feet on his shoulders, shrugged and stuck out his tongue. Zim sighed. “Come here, you insolent SIR.” A robotic arm shot out of his PAK and tucked GIR snugly back into his carrier. After a moment of thought, a couple more cords wrapped around GIR’s arms and chest, securing him tighter.

“You know, you could’ve just left him at the ship,” Dib pointed out.

Zim shot him an affronted look.

“Kidding, kidding,” Dib chuckled. “Let’s go see these fishy things of GIR’s.”

“They’re really not that interesting,” Zim complained, hopping off of Dib’s shoulder. “They’re all over Irk, some people enjoy eating them–I think they taste like Earth chalk. Really, they’re more pests than anything else.”

As he listened to Zim’s long-winded and unnecessary description of the fishy things–which were apparently called wakwoks–his eyes caught on a label in one of the aisles. Repetitive Lasers. If he slipped away before Zim finished his rant, the Irken probably wouldn’t even notice he’d left... He tilted the cart away and tiptoed off into the aisle. The selection of repetitive lasers was near the end, and there were a lot of them. Who knew Irkens loved repetitive lasers so much. I mean, he knew they loved regular lasers, so he supposed it wasn’t too much of a stretch to assume they’d like repetitive ones. He scanned the shelf. 

Model G7R-96, Model G8-90, Model H0-45… Model G7R-69! Unfortunately, it was near the very top. As he pondered this problem thoughtfully the hovering pad thing beside him caught his eye. 

Hm.

Dib hopped onto the device. It shook slightly but didn’t move. 

“Uh,” Dib murmured. “Up, please?”

The pad stayed still.

“...Model G7R-69 repetitive laser, please…?”

The pad rushed him up, up, up till he was staring the desired lasers in the face. He reached a hand out to grab one just as his communicator buzzed. He groaned. Apparently Zim did notice. He pulled it out of his pocket.

angry green gremlin: DIB WHERE ARE YOU???

Dib rolled his eyes at the blatant misuse of capitalization and exclamation points. 

agent mothman: i just went to pick up something for urania

agent mothman: ill be back in a sec

agent mothman: chill

angry green gremlin: GET BAKC HERER NOW!!!!

agent mothman: jeez im coming

Dib tucked the device back in his jacket, grabbed a laser, and said, “The floor?”

His ride sent him hurtling at a terrifying speed back to the cart. Grasping at his tumbling stomach, he stuck the foot-long repetitive laser into a somewhat open space in the cart. He then began walking–slowly–to his previous destination and an apparently panicking alien. Dib wasn’t sure if he was more irritated or touched by how much Zim was freaking out about his disappearance. 

He rounded a corner, and took in the tanks of faintly pink liquid full of…well, fishy things. That truly was the only way to describe them in any honest way. They looked vaguely like lionfish, with some ‘lion’ removed from them and a heaping pile of ‘thing’ thrown in. There were also a few that appeared to be covered in goo, but considering they were underwater it was hard to tell. He strode forward, wondering vaguely where Zim and GIR had gone, and then a sharp hand grabbed his sleeve and yanked him and the cart into an adjoining aisle. 

“Shh!” His attacker raised a finger to his lips. 

“Zim, what are you doing?” Dib asked tiredly. “If this is about someone trying to steal your snacks again, I’m telling you no one's gonna take candy from you when they just take it from the store–”

“It's not that,” Zim interjected hurriedly. “Stand in front of me!” 

Dib eyed his frantic friend. He stepped to the side so he blocked the view of Zim from the rest of the store. “Fine, now tell me what’s up.”

“I’ll explain later!” Zim waved him off, peeking warily out from his cover behind Dib’s legs to look out at the open area beyond. The alien stared for a long moment before eventually letting out a relieved sigh. “Okay, I don’t think he saw me...”

“‘He’? Who’s–” “ZIM!”

Zim winced deeply as his name rang through the rows of goods. “Time to go.” He grabbed Dib’s shirt and led him at a speed walk out of the aisle and down the main pathway. Dib shoved the cart to get it moving and followed, matching his companions pace. “Seriously, what’s going–” he began, only to be interrupted again.

“Is that you?” The voice bellowed. “Why, don’t leave, Zim! We haven’t had time to catch up in oh so long!”

Zim stopped wearily and put a hand out to stop Dib. The human complied, waiting until Zim grimaced and turned before he did so too. 

“Heyyyy, Borax…” Zim said, smiling a strained smile.

“Hello, Zim,” greeted a leafy green Irken with neon pink eyes–presumably Borax. He was surrounded by four other Irkens, two with purple eyes, one with pink eyes and irregularly light green skin, and one with a single pink eye, its other one lidded and covered by an ugly, ragged scar. They all wore standard Invader uniforms, except for Borax, who also had metal gloves and boots.

“It has been a while, hasn’t it?” Zim tried.

“Indeed. You’re still as short as ever,” Borax said.

“Yes, I suppose so,” Zim said shortly.

“How have you been?” Borax asked, words kind but gaze calculating.

“Oh, you know…” Zim trailed off. Dib was slightly impressed–despite his better judgment–to meet someone who could leave Zim at a loss for words.

“I see you’re hanging out with inferior life forms now,” Borax sneered, gesturing lazily at Dib.

“Dib is not–!” Zim growled, cutting himself off. “...Dib may not be Irken but he is just as superior as you or I.”

“They told us you’d gone rogue, Zim.” Borax tilted his head. “I mean, you already were out of control, what with all the regicide and mission failures. But I never believed you’d be this…Defective.” “Jokes on you, buckaroo.” Zim grinned, gaining back lost ground. “I don’t care that I’m Defective anymore! Check it out, I’ll even say it: I’m just a big ol’ Defective Irken. Zim the Defective. Defective, that’s what I am!”

Borax continued, unfazed. “Do you recall what I told you I’d do to you if I ever saw you again?”

“...give me a set of Purple Slooshie coupons and send me on my way…?” Zim supplied.

Borax glared darkly. “Boys…” He turned to the Irkens beside him and lifted a finger to point at Zim. “GET THEM!”

Zim shrieked and swatted urgently at Dib’s hand. “Run Dib!”

Dib didn’t need to be told twice. The cart gave a frustrated squeal as he threw himself into it and took off at a headlong run. Zim sped along beside him, casting nervous glances over his shoulder as the sound of charging Irkens grew closer. 

“Here!” Zim tossed GIR into the cart, the robot giggling as he tumbled into the mountain of snacks. “Make sure he doesn’t climb out!” “Why can’t you just keep him in–” The question answered itself as Zim’s PAK legs struck out at the stuff surrounding them, leaving a messy barrier of random electronic components and bulk bags between them and Borax and his gang. 

“This way!” Zim waved Dib down an aisle to their left, and Dib had to push one foot off a shelf to avoid knocking the front-heavy cart into it. 

“Do you actually know where you’re going!?” Dib questioned above the clamor of Irken swearing and scraping PAK legs behind them. 

“Your faith astounds me, Dib!” Zim hissed in reply. “Of course I know where we’re going!”

“Did you really think to load the map into your PAK!?” Dib demanded doubtfully. 

Zim threw a hand in the direction of a massive, glowing EXIT sign.

“Oh,” Dib huffed. “My bad.” A bulk bag of roasted egad nuts crashed into the rack of cleaning wipes beside them, narrowly missing Dib’s head. He yelped.

“What did you do to this guy!?” He asked Zim, wide eyed. 

Zim muttered something.

“I can’t hear you over all the shit being thrown at us!” Dib dodged a hammer.

“Nothing!” Zim snapped, striking a military mattress into the floor with a PAK leg.

“Dude,” Dib glanced up at a smoking hole in a box of replacement spinning razor blades. “It was obviously not nothing!”

“Alright, fine, I’ll tell you the abridged version!” Zim growled. 

~Lotsa years earlier, before Zim went to Earth. Actually, before Zim was even an Invader. During Zim’s Invader training…~ 

“Now, recruits!” Commander Poki instructed, pacing. “For the love of Irk, express caution when practicing with your holo blades. I realize it has ‘holo’ in the name, but believe me when I say that it will not cause ‘holo’ damage. We cannot afford to lose any Invaders, even Invaders-in-training, during this time of crisis. At least, not many. So at least some of you need to stay alive. Those Flogschlokians won’t kill themselves!”

Zim stood on the flat top training area, holding a bright pink holo blade with undisguised glee. He wore a standard purple Invader-in-training uniform with the Irken insignia in black across his front. The weapon buzzed with energy as he swung its end back and forth in the air. Borax stood beside him, also wielding a holo blade. The size difference between them was striking. Zim seemed miniscule in comparison to Borax’s thick frame and general tallness. Also unlike Zim, he seemed uninterested, eager to get on to other things–things, one could assume, like raiding the free snack cabinet in the training lounge. 

“Don’t get that thing so close to my face!” Borax complained, glaring at Zim.

“Chill out!” Zim said with a smirk, waving his weapon in the air and bouncing excitedly at the streaks of pink left in its trail. “I’m not gonna hit you.”

“Irk, I can’t believe they chose you of all people to be my partner.” Borax groaned loudly.

“I can’t believe they chose you of all people to be my partner,” Zim retorted arrogantly. “Truly you are not worthy of witnessing my magnificent magnificence, Borax.”

“Let’s just get this over with.” Borax held his holo blade up in front of him in a standard ready stance. 

Zim followed suit, though he shifted into an exaggerated position rather unlike Borax’s controlled one. Borax rolled his eyes, but moved his weapon to strike at Zim as they were told to do. Zim blocked him with gusto, their blades meeting in a shower of pink sparks and angry vibration.

“Zim!” Borax hissed. “Be careful!”

“Aw, c’mon, it's no fun if we have to do it slow!” Zim protested. 

“It’s not supposed to be ‘fun’!” Borax narrowed his eyes. “We’re training, not playing some foolish smeet game! Now focus!” 

“You need to relax,” Zim said blithely. He withdrew his blade from Borax’s and pitched it between his hands. 

“Zim, I'm serious! Cut it out!” Borax growled.

Zim began twirling his weapon in the air with increasing speed, and it hummed and brightened.

“The commanders are probably overexaggerating how dangerous these things actually are,” he said. “I mean really, what's the worst that could happen?”

The intensifying noise coming off the weapon stopped abruptly as it cut clean through Borax’s right arm. Zim stared at the results of his unintentional amputation. Pink blood dripped to the ground from the limbless hole in Borax’s shoulder. Silence filled the grounds as the other trainees noticed the incident unfolding before them, and it reigned for a long, long moment as Borax registered what had just occurred. Zim hoped for a second that perhaps, the other Irken just wouldn’t notice he’d been suddenly parted with one of his four limbs. 

“ZIIIIIIIIM!!!!”

Damn.

~Lotsa years later. Unfortunately, Borax is still alive, and he is angry.~

“You cut off his arm!?” Dib yelled, voice cracking. 

“Only one arm!” Zim defended, as they skidded down one of the tighter aisles. “And they gave him a new one!”

“Even if doctors could grow me a…new arm with creepy cloning science,” Dib replied, panting. “I would still…be mad if… someone cut mine off!”

“Perhaps we can have this argument at a later, less in-mortal-danger time!?” Zim suggested. Laser fire rained down on them, and the Irken threw up a holo shield of his own design in defense. “This thing won’t last long! We need to get out of the store and into the open!”

“Is that not the opposite of huff what we want!?” Dib steered the cart around a fallen oil tank.

“If I have more space I can use my PAK legs!” Zim explained.

“Right. Huff. Okay.”

The exit sign was now looming on the near horizon, and Dib could see the entrance they’d come in through. Luckily for his burning legs and raspy lungs, he wouldn’t have to run for much longer. GIR peered out over the side of the cart. Dib raised a hand to smack him back into the safety of its sides, but before he had to, GIR noticed the horde of angry Irkens spewing lasers and hate and quickly slipped back into the heaps of stuff, only wide eyes showing. 

Smart robot. 

They tumbled forward in a rush of limbs and adrenaline. Passing by the expansive check-out counters, Dib turned his attention temporarily to the cart full of things they hadn’t yet purchased.

“Don’t we have to huff pay for this stuff!?” Dib pressed, as they tore past the counters and in a direct path for the exit.

“Urgh, fine!” Zim groaned. A PAK arm pulled a wad of monies from a compartment in the device and chucked it at one of the tellers. It hit the furry alien in the face with a smack. 

“Is that even huff  the right amount!?” Dib inquired, incredulous.

“Are you kidding me, that's more than those idiots would usually see on a Saturday!” Zim snarked.

“Is it genuine?”

“...that's not important right now!” Zim leapt forward to stand in front of the clear glass doors. The employee they’d spoken with earlier stared at them tiredly. “There’s no time for a scan! Stand back!” Zim warned. Dib, hoping whatever Zim was about to do wouldn’t cause too much damage, yanked the cart backwards and ducked behind it. The sound of machinery whirring and charging up segued into a shuddering blast that sent bits of metal and miscellaneous building material into the air. 

“Let’s go!” Zim called.

“Was that really necessary?” Dib complained as the three of them plus the cart stampeded their way through the rubble and out into the open. 

“Maybe, maybe not. But I got to try out my new laser cannon!” Zim grinned up at him. “Push the red button on the side of the cart handle!”

Dib decided he was too winded to question the Irken anymore and simply pressed it without argument. The cart flashed purple once, and then the handle and anti-grav motors tucked themselves into the main body, the whole thing clicking and folding into place until it became a sealed, compact, rectangular, white transport container. 

“It’s done!” Dib shouted, the cart-turned-box falling to the ground without its operating components in place. Metal tendrils whipped around the box, securing it in a net, and Dib found himself being grabbed in a similar manner, his feet yanked off the ground.

“Hi Mary!” GIR chirped, tucked snugly in his hood once more.

“How did you–ya know what, nevermind, we’re good Zim!” Dib called, cupping a hand to his mouth. A PAK hand shot him a thumbs up as Zim’s PAK legs sprouted around the alien and began pulling them all forward at breakneck speed. Wind charged at Dib’s face and drew tears from his stinging eyes. He shifted to look behind them as the shouts of Borax and his goons grew louder and more rathful. The look on Borax’s raging face showed he was all too aware that his target was escaping.

“GO!” He roared, his own PAK legs speeding up their violent lunging.

Laser fire bombarded them, but luckily for the trio, angry Irkens had aim about as good as a rookie Stormtrooper. The group was, however, catching up to them at an alarming rate. Dib met the eyes of one of the purple-eyed Irkens and it scowled resentfully. 

“Uh, Zim!?” Dib shouted, turning back around. “You might want to hurry!”

Zim didn’t reply, and Dib worried momentarily that he hadn’t heard him, but then their velocity doubled sharply as a pair of gray and pink rocket boosters sprung from Zim’s PAK and activated. Dib hoped his friend was able to keep their intense firepower in check long enough to reach The Poltergeist. 

They careened past a pair of shoppers, the Irken Invaders screeching and jumping out of the way, waving fisted hands at them indignantly. Dib opened his mouth to apologize, remembered the atrocities committed by Invaders, and promptly shut it again. 

He spotted their docking port, and a thought struck him–that, and a chucked Irken popsicle that one of their pursuers decided wasn’t worth enough to keep if throwing it meant assaulting Dib’s head. He shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out his communicator, taking care not to drop it to the speeding ground and certain destruction, and slipped his goggles over his eyes to block the wind. He swiped through his contacts until he landed on Urania’s. His fingers shook as he typed and he struggled to hold onto the device. He hoped autocorrect would cut him a break and actually work for once.

agent mothman: start the ship!!

Urania: May I ask why? agent mothman: just check ur scanners!!!

Urania: …

Urania: Ah. Very well.

The door to their port opened up and The Poltergeist rumbled to life, blue light flashing from its propulsion engines, and spreading up to accent its indents. Seeing how close they were getting to it, Dib hastily shoved his communicator back in his pocket and prepared himself for a rough stop. Just in time, it turned out, because seconds later Zim dug his PAK legs into the ground and brought them to an abrupt and screeching halt. Suddenly, a well-aimed–or more likely just lucky–laser struck his retracting boosters and they sparked and whirred angrily, sending smoke guttering into the air. Zim yelped and batted at the dislocking mechanism until they fell heavily to his feet. Unfortunately, this distracted him enough to forget about holding Dib, and the human found himself unceremoniously dropped in a pile on the ground. He scrambled to his feet and pulled GIR out of his hoodie, cradling the robot in his arms. A persistent throbbing tore through his thigh. That was going to hurt later.

“Zim! Let’s go!” Dib yelled, stumbling up to his friend. 

Zim was crouched at his spasming rocket boosters, trying to collect the pieces in his arms, swearing in a confusing mix of English and Irken under his breath. “Give me a minute!” “You can make new boosters!” Dib pleaded, bouncing on his heels and glancing restlessly between his friend and the approaching storm of Irkens and Irken weaponry. “If you stay here Borax is gonna obliterate you and you can’t use boosters much less make boosters if you’re fuckin’ dead!”

Zim kneeled before his broken creation for a moment longer and then sprung to his feet. 

“You’re paying for new materials!” He declared sharply. 

“It’s on me!” Dib yanked him forward. “Time to blow this popsicle stand!”

They half-ran half-lurched the last few meters, bent forward to avoid blasts and rubble. Dib clutched GIR to his chest, and the little robot made uh-e-uh-e-uh-e-uh sounds to match Dib’s shuddering footfalls. He tried his darndest not to giggle. Not the time.

The trio scuttled up The Poltergeist’s ramp and into the ship. Zim wrenched the box-cart the rest of the way inside, sending it skittering across the metal flooring, and smacked a screen, activating the ship-wide communications system. “Urania!” He hollered into it. “We’re on!”

“Closing hangar doors.” Urania’s voice announced. 

Dib and Zim turned to watch as the folding metal smoothly covered view of Borax and the other Irkens. The horde fired a last few shots at them, sending a series of dings echoing through the docking port, and the scar-faced one smacked head first into the edge of a wall in a last-ditch attempt to throw himself into their ship. Borax bared his teeth at them, fiery wrath burning in his eyes, and as The Poltergeist sealed its doors the last thing Dib saw was his open mouth and the droplets of spittle flying from it as he bellowed, “ZIIIIIIIIIM!”

The Poltergeist rose off the landing pad and lifted up and out of the port, leaving the five furious Irkens below to their fit of wrath. The Mooga Mart shrunk gradually in the porthole windows. A beat or two passed, and they slid smoothly into the exiting line of spacecraft. The near-silence of the hangar was a stark contrast to the chaos they’d just escaped, and there was an awkward, motionless pause while the three of them stood there shakily. Then Zim abruptly flopped to a sitting position, exhaling loudly. His various PAK appendages withdrew into his PAK. Dib’s heaving chest calmed as he caught his breath, and he gazed into the void for a moment as his brain buffered.

“When can I see the fishy things again!?” GIR asked brightly, shaking the two of them from their respective trances.

“Was that,” Dib said, “by any chance, the reason we’ve never gone to a Mooga Mart before?”

“...yes. If there’s anything Irkens love more than the Tallest, it's cheap snacks, and that includes the many, eh, enemies I have made over the years,” Zim admitted. “...apparently that logic holds true to Borax as well.”

At that, the laughter Dib had been containing escaped in the form of bouncing chuckles. “What–what kinda name is Borax, anyway!?” 

Zim snickered, then leaned back on his hands and released a cackling laugh, shoulders shaking. “It is a humorous title, isn’t it? Ha! Just a Human cleaning agent!”

Dib held out a hand and Zim grasped it. Dib hauled the Irken to his feet, the two of them sharing sniggers.

“Y’know, Dib,” Zim said, shaking his head in amusement. “If I’d never met you, I never would’ve known how stupid a name Borax is.”

“Guess I was good for something after all, huh?” Dib smiled broadly.

“Indeed, Dib-friend!” Zim said. “If I ever see him again he’s going to learn all about his name’s alternate origins…” He rubbed his hands together with relish.

“Are you done with the hysterics yet?” Urania asked dryly, causing the two of them to jump in surprise. “Your box of stuff is clogging up my hangar bay.”

“Urania, I thought I requested you refrain from startling us with your creepy all-over-the-ship-ness?” Zim inquired resentfully. “And couldn’t you at least wait for us to settle on a destination?”

“Get up here then,” Urania ordered.

“Very well,” Zim grumbled. “C’mon, GIR, it's your turn to pick our next stop! Tallest save us.” 

GIR scrambled off Dib and took hold of Zim’s hand, bobbing excitedly. “I’ll be there in a sec,” Dib said. “I just gotta grab something from the cart.” Zim nodded and led GIR out of the room.

“I hope you enjoyed the fishy things,” the Irken's receding voice griped, “if we hadn't gone to see them we wouldn’t have run into Borax in the first place!”

After a moment of thought, Dib pressed the button on the cart for the second time that day. The top of it whirred open to reveal the treasure trove of items within. He rummaged around in it until his hand came to rest on the smooth, circular metal of the repetitive laser. 

“Urania?” He called.

“Yes?” The AI replied.

Dib held the item up. “Got your laser.”

“Thank you, Dib,” she said. A metal arm snaked out of the ceiling and grasped the proffered laser. 

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Dib said carefully. “What do you want it for?...You’re not going to blow something up, are you…?” “Oh, no, Model G7R-69 repetitive lasers are completely harmless,” Urania answered. “They simply make excellent disco lights.”

Dib blinked. “Disco…lights…?”

“Indeed. It does get rather dull around here when you three are off making trouble.”

“Oh.” 

She didn’t make a sound, but Dib was certain Urania was laughing at him.

“Dib!” Zim shouted. “Hurry up!”

“Coming!” Dib shouted back. He trotted through the ship’s hallway until he emerged at the cockpit. “Where are we off to now?” “That goddamn space cotton candy stand again,” Zim seethed. “I knew including GIR in our destination-picking was a mistake!”

“Aw, cheer up, space-boy.” Dib grinned. “At least he didn’t choose the amusement planet like last time. ‘Sides, I could go for some cotton candy. Set a course, please, Urania!”

“Only if you swear not to bring any of that sticky mess onboard again,” Urania cautioned.

“GIR, listen to the irritating AI,” Zim advised.

“Not to worry, we won’t,” Dib promised.

“We’ve learned our lesson.”

“Pinky promise, right, Zim?”

“...fuck off.”

The Poltergeist’s engines glowed brightly and it shot off into the distance, leaving only wisps of swirling blue jump dust and echoes of spirited laughter in its wake. 

[snappedsky]

Fanatics 94.4

The Battalion and the Night Terrors reach Seoul, South Korea, but run into problems.

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

--

Final Awakening: Road Trip of Doom Part 4

           “In Los Angeles? For how long?” Dib exclaims, querulous like a child not getting his way.

           “I’ll probably come back at Christmas,” Gaz replies impatiently.

           “I did not give you permission to leave,” Zim snaps.

           “I don’t need your permission!” she retorts, “you didn’t give Pepito permission.”

           “Actually, he did,” Pepito mutters.

           “What is he, your daddy?”

           The Night Terrors, Devi, Tenna, and Gir all seem amused as the kids bicker. Johnny walks up to front of the van, groaning with irritation. Squee and Shmee are already up there so they too could escape the argument, and Tak is piloting now so Zim wouldn’t get distracted, with Mimi in her lap. They all watch the ocean pass below through the windshield.

           “So annoying,” Johnny grunts.

           “Mm hm,” Squee agrees. “But I’m proud of Gaz though. And Pepito. They’re both going off to do things they really want to do. It makes me wonder…what is that I want to do?”

           “What, you mean after all that work you did to get into university, you’re not even sure it’s what you want?” Tak questions.

           He shrugs. “That just seems like ‘the thing to do’, you know. Like everyone does it. I don’t know if it’s what I really want.”

           “You’ll figure it out,” Shmee says reassuringly, “you’re bright, brighter than most.”

           “Mm,” Squee grunts with uncertainty. He leans against the dashboard, resting his chin in his hand and stares at the passing sea.

           Johnny watches him with concern for a second before looking up. “Hey, look. We’re here.”

           Just like that, the argument stops and everyone looks through the windshield. The ocean ends at a mass of land with a city just ahead.

           “South Korea,” Zim states.

           “Looks like we’re at Ulsan,” Dib says as he looks at a map off his phone. “We need to get to Seoul. Tak, go Northwest.”

           “We’re not going to be like shot down by military or something, are we?” Devi asks.

           “The van can’t be tracked by human radar,” Zim replies.

           “Do you sense anything yet?” Squee asks Shmee.

           “Not yet,” he replies, “we’re probably not close enough.”

           The van flies high over the country. Everyone watches the scenery pass below through the windows. After a few minutes, as they start to near the capital city, Eff, D-boy, Sickness, Reverend Meat, Nailbunny, and Shmee all jolt with shock.

           “You guys feel that too?” Nailbunny asks.

           “Oh, yeah,” Eff grunts.

           “The air is thick with it,” D-boy adds.

           “What?” Tenna asks.

           “The Nightmare,” Reverend Meat replies darkly.

           “Be ready for anything,” Shmee warns, “it must know we’re here.”

           Everyone is tense as the van flies over Seoul. They can’t even enjoy the view of the passing buildings as they wait for something to happen.

           “So any idea where we have to go anyway?” Tak asks.

           “Keep heading north,” Shmee replies, “it seems to be stronger from that direction.”

           Ahead, the buildings begin to thin out, getting replaced with trees. But before they can reach the edge of the city, something explodes against the bottom of the van, rocking it.

           “What the fuck was that?” Devi gasps.

           “Tak, turn on the bottom camera!” Zim orders.

           “I am-!” she starts to retort but gets cut off when something explodes against the left side of the van. Everyone looks out the window as the smoke clears and sees what’s attacking them.

           “It’s a fighter jet!” Tenna exclaims as a jet comes up behind them.

           “You said we’d be safe!” Gaz snaps at Zim.

           “We should be!” he insists.

           “It’s only one,” Nailbunny observes, “likely, the pilot is being influenced by the Nightmare.”

           “Then we can shoot it down, right?” Tak asks threateningly.

           “No!” Dib argues, “the pilot is still innocent.”

           The jet shoots a barrage of bullets at the backside of the van. Thankfully, the hull is able to withstand the attack, but the force still rocks the vehicle.

           “Fuck the pilot!” Johnny barks, “they’re trying to kill us! Shoot it down!”

           “With pleasure,” Tak sneers, “Mimi.”

           “Yes, Master,” the robot responds. She starts to climb out the driver’s window when Squee cries out.

           “Wait! It’s leaving!”

           Everyone watches as the pilot dives out of view.

           “Tak, the bottom camera!” Zim orders.

           “Hold on,” she snaps and pushes a couple of buttons. The screen displaying the underside of the van comes up. With it, they see the jet dip and fly right up towards them.

           “It’s a kamikaze!” Squee yelps

           The jet explodes against the underside of the van. The camera is destroyed as smoke spills out around the side and the vehicle nose dives.

           “We’ve lost flight!” Tak exclaims.

           “Hang on!” Shmee cries as everyone grips the seats.

           “Pull up!” Zim orders.

           “I’m trying!” Tak retorts, tugging at the steering wheel. She can’t level out completely and can only angle the fall.

           Cracks begin to form across all the windows before the glass explodes entirely. Everyone screams as strong winds blow through the vehicle. Before anyone can react, they’re all whipped off their feet.

           One by one, almost all of them are blown out of the broken windows.

           The van crashes into a canopy of trees.

           Johnny groans and writhes painfully on a seat before rolling over and falling to the floor.

           “You alright?” Reverend Meat asks. He’s sitting on the adjacent seat, cracking his knuckles.

           “Yeah,” Johnny grunts as he sits up, rubbing his head. “What happened to the others?”

           “Looks like they were all blown out,” he replies, “we were the only ones who managed to hang on. Hope they’re alive.”

           “Hey!” a voice calls out from outside.

           “Devi?” Johnny questions and pokes his head through a window. The van is being supported in the air by a bunch of branches. Devi is hanging from a branch by her right hand.

           “Johnny! Help!” she cries.

           “Hang on!” he replies and climbs out onto a branch. He’s able to reach down to grab her wrist and pulls her up with ease.          

           “You’re bleeding!” he gasps. Her left arm has been sliced open and is bleeding profusely.

           “Yeah, I think I cut it on the broken glass when I fell out,” she replies.  

           “Shit, that’s bad,” he remarks, “we gotta stop the bleeding.”

           “No shit.”

           “Hey!” another voice calls out and they look down through the branches to see Tak and Mimi. She climbs the trees with her spider legs, her robot sitting on her head.

           “Everyone alright?” she asks.

           “Devi’s hurt,” Johnny replies.

           “Hm,” she muses as she eyes the wound. “Okay, I can help. But let’s get in the van first.”            The three of them clamber back into the van, where Reverend Meat is sitting. The branches supporting it creak and jostle.

           “Are we really safe in here?” Devi asks.

           “Safer in here than out there,” he replies.

           “Sit down,” Tak orders as she reaches into her PAK. Devi obeys as Tak removes some kind of pink pen-like thing. “This will stop the bleeding. Show me your arm.”

           Devi sticks out her injured arm and Tak runs the tip of the pen over it. The bleeding stops beneath it, leaving behind just a deep red cut.

           “It still hurts,” Devi mutters.

           “It’s not fully healed,” Tak explains, “don’t move it too much or you will tear it open again.”

           “We should bandage it,” Johnny says, “and maybe put your arm in a sling. Do you have a first aid kit?”

           “No,” Reverend Meat scoffs, “we never get hurt.”

           “What about Aron?” Devi questions.

           “Oh. Yeah, maybe in the glove department.”

           Johnny opens the compartment and fortunately finds a small first aid kit. Unfortunately, it’s only got a few bandages, a small bottle of antiseptic, and one small roll of gauze.

           “This will have to work,” Johnny says as he grabs the gauze. “But we still need a sling.”

           “I’ll be fine,” Devi insists.

           He grunts sceptically and wraps her arm in the gauze.

           “Now what?” Reverend Meat asks, “everyone else is scattered around who knows where.”

           “We wait for them here,” Tak declares, “they’ll come for the bus.”

           “How will they find it?” Devi asks.

           Tak considers the questions before climbing out onto the roof. She points up to the sky and Mimi flies out. Once she’s over the trees, her eyes begin flashing a bright purple that can be seen for miles, even in the bright afternoon sky.

           Not too far away, spread out in the outskirts of the city, Zim, Dib, Gaz, Pepito, and Squee crouch or lie where they’ve each landed- on the street or on roofs. They look at the surrounding, unfamiliar buildings, sighing with annoyance.

           “Fuck.”

[sweetiepie08]

RebelZ Chapter 8

Invader Zim fanfic

While analyzing Zim’s PAK for weaknesses, Tak discovers strange coding that sends her on a search for answers. The clues lead her to uncover a conspiracy that governs all of Irken society. When the truth sends her on the run, she has no choice but to return to the one place the Tallest would never willingly go: Urth.

Meanwhile, Dib has noticed odd changes in Zim’s behavior. Has the invader simply grown bored of his mission over the last few years, or is there something more interesting going on?

People who asked to be tagged: @incorrect-invader-zim , @messinwitheddie, @reblogstupids, @cate-r-gunn, @agentpinerulesall​

If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list feel free to message me. Also, if you’re on the tag list and you changed your name, please just let me know.

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8.  Chapter 9.  Chapter 10.

[-]

The problem with back-seat space travel was, Dib decided, you couldn’t really tell where you were going. This was especially concerning with Zim at the helm. In fact, leaving Earth with Zim, having to rely on Zim to get home, was probably not the smartest move in the first place. But he did manage to get them to Ecore. The first leg of their mission was complete. All that was left was to go home. That should be the easy part.

However, Zim was concerningly quiet since the ship took off from Ecore. There was no scolding Gir, no boasting of his pilot skills, and not even a peep about whatever Kristlotch had said in the temple. Tak was able to explain the basics. Krislotch told them the secret history of the Control Brains, called rebellion hopeless, and insulted Zim multiple times. Perhaps Zim was just stewing over it. But, if that was all, why did he feel this crushing tension?

Something on the console beeped and Zim scrolled through a sea of Irken text, eyes darting between Dib and Tak. He hadn’t used the voice command system, which was especially odd. From what Dib learned operating Tak’s ship, voice commands was the standard for Irken tech. Zim had to have switched it off manually. The question was, why?

“Hey Zim,” Tak snapped, “that was Zorgad 16.”

Zim kept his eyes straight ahead. “So?”

“So we’re going the wrong way.”

“I know exactly where we’re going,” Zim countered.

“Clearly you don’t. Keep going this way and we’ll…” Her eyes grew wide as some horror dawned on her. “You scum!” she screamed, launching herself at him. “You traitor!”

“It is you who are the traitor!” Zim declared, barely holding her off.

Dib’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. “Zim, what did you do?”

“Gir!” Zim commanded. “Hide and seek! Now!”

“Okie Dokie!” Gir’s robot arms wrapped around Dib and Tak and threw them in the back of the ship with the cargo. “You hide!”

Before they could recover, a metal door slid down, blocking them off from the cockpit. On the other side, they heard Zim command Gir to count to 1 million.

Tak let out an enraged scream and pounded on the door. “Coward! Liar! Boot-licking little worm!”

Dib let his face drop into his hands. “I should have seen this coming. I’ve fallen for his schmoopy act before.”

“No, I should have.” Tak punched the door one more time before leaning her forehead against it. “When I discovered the truth, my first thought was of freeing my people. For that, I was branded traitor and my life clock went off. His never did. That is only possible if he was still loyal to the empire.”

“Can’t you blast through the door with your lasers?” Dib suggested.

A digital monocle popped out of the mechanism on her head and covered her eye. She examined the door for a moment before letting out a sigh. “If I set it powerful enough to penetrate the metal, it’ll also pass through the windshield, exposing us to vacuum space.” Defeated, she leaned her back against the door and slid down to the floor.

“So,” Dib said, sitting down beside her, “what now?”

[-]

Some time later, the ship approached the Massive. They noticed the change in gravity as a tractor beam grabbed hold of the Voot and sucked the ship onboard. They heard voices talking outside. One was certainly Zim, but Dib couldn’t make out what was being said. A few minutes later, the doors to the cargo hold opened and Irken soldiers dragged them out.

Dib found himself surrounded by tech he could only dream of, though the situation left him little room to marvel. The hanger held space craft so strange, he couldn’t being to imagine how they worked. The soldiers held weapons he’d never seen before. And above them all loomed the Tallest, living up to their title.

“Hmm… Urth humans really are tall,” the Purple one observed. “Not as tall as us of course but…” Dib assumed the reason for this one’s perfect English was that it was, in a way, talking to him.

“Yes and, as reported, dumb,” Zim added, “as evidenced by the fact he fell for my cunning trap. And, of course, I brought the traitor, Tak, as promised.”

“Yes, these two truly must be dumb if they fell for your plans,” the Red one said. Dib waited for Zim to react, but nothing happened. Unbelievable. Did Zim really not notice the insult, or did he just not care?

“Good work, Zim,” the Red one went on. “We knew we could count on you to bring in the traitor.”

Zim nodded solemnly. “Yes, she tried to sway my loyalty with her treasonous lies, but I never bought them for a second.”

Tak let out a growl and jumped to her feet. “Zim, you know damn well I never-AH!” One of the guards struck her with an electrified weapon, sending her back to the floor.

“And still she persists. Tragic.” Zim tsked and shook his head. “Now, about my reward?”

“Oh yeah, right,” the red one said. “We’ve got a party set up for you in the main snack hall.

Seriously? “You sold us out for a party?” Dib seethed, moving to get up. “You egotistical son of a-AH!” He was also hit by the same weapon, forcing him back to his knees.

Zim snickered and stood above him. “Zim is son to no one but the empire, Dib-stink.”

“Alright then,” the Purple one chimed in. “Now that everything’s settles, let’s execute these prisoners and get this party over with.”

“Wait!” Zim shouted. Everyone stopped and looked at him while Dib raised an eyebrow. What was he doing? “My Tallest, I humbly request to keep these two prisoners alive as trophies for my party.”

“But then we execute them after?” The purple one asked.

Zim nodded. “Oh yes, sure, of course.”

The Red one shrugged. “Okay, fair enough. Stick those two in a cage in the main snack hall until after the party.”

“Excellent!” A wide grin appeared on Zim’s face. “Gir, come with me,” he said, starting down the hall. “We must begin preparing my special punch.”

[-]

In short order, Dib and Tak were placed in a cage and forced to watch as Irkens mingled amongst themselves. They all took to it with the enthusiasm of the scientists in Membrane Labs attending the annual, mandatory, holiday party. They wore forced, uncomfortable smiles and attempted small talk. Every one of them looked like they were counting the seconds until they could drop the charade and return to their normal lives.

Suddenly, Zim’s robot popped up in Dib’s field of vision. “Want some punch?!” Gir shrieked, shoving a cup of purple liquid in Dib’s face. “It’ll make you sick!”

Dib cringed as he looked in the cup. “Uh… no thanks.”

“Gir! Get away from there!” Zim shouted, stomping up toward them. He grabbed the cup out of the robot’s hands and began pushing him away. “Humans and traitors don’t get punch,” he tossed over his shoulder as they walked off.

Dib watching Zim head up to the high table at the front of the room and sit down with his Tallest. Much like his dad at those holiday parties, these two were likely the ones who least wanted to be there.

Dib gave the bars another pathetic shake before giving up and turning to Tak. “So, you got any ideas?”

“What’s the point?” she asked, laying flat on the ground.

“Uh, the point is, if we don’t get out of here, we both die.”

“Is dying a prisoner any worse than living as a mindless slave?” She sighed and turned her head to look at the crowd. “Look at them all, human. They don’t even know what they lack. Every one of them is going to die serving the empire and none of them will be thanked or even remembered. Hundreds will be sent to their deaths and hundreds more will take their place. The smeeteries will replace them as fast as they’re killed off. That thing doesn’t care about sacrificing its own food because it can always make more. Kristlotch was right. It is hopeless.”

“You know, sometimes I feel like my people are slaves too,” Dib said, sitting down next to her. “Not to a hive mind parasite, but to other things. The media, corporate greed…”

“I know. I specifically targeted that flaw in my first conquest plan.”

“Right…” Dib rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about how well that almost worked. “Anyway, sometimes I think Zim is right. Humans stink.”

Tak shrugged half-heartedly. “Eh, Irkens are particularly sensitive to smell. You probably smell fine for a human.”

“No, I meant metaphorically,” Dib went on. “Anyway, my point is, just because humans stink now, it doesn’t mean I should give upon them. It’s one of the reasons I want to prove aliens exist so bad. I want people to know what’s out there. I want them to be a little better, a little smarter. I want them to stop worrying about petty problems and work together to improve the world. If they do, who knows? Maybe we can actually join this greater universal stage.”

Tak’s face stayed impassive as she considered his words. “Dib…” she began, sitting up, “not all humans stink.”

He smiled. “And not all Irkens are mindless slaves.”

“No…” Her eyes narrowed and the Tak he knew returned. “And none should be. Dib,” she said, jumping to her feet, “we’re breaking out of here.”

“Great!” he said, jumping up as well. “What’s the plan?”

“I…” she paused and her enthusiasm melted away, “need to think about it.” She sat back down on the floor, but her schmoop was gone. She sat with her back straight and one hand on her chin, thinking, plotting.

They were interrupted by a clinking sound from the high table. They looked to see the Red Tallest flicking the side of his glass with one long finger. “Alright everyone, Zim wants to give a toast with his punch. Everyone get a glass so we can get this over with.”

Gir handed out cups of punch to every Irken in the room.

“Did everyone get one?” Zim asked accepting one cup from Gir. The robot nodded. “Excellent!”

Dib shook the bars and let out a groan. “If only I knew what he was saying.”

Tak sighed, tapped her PAK, and a small microchip floated into her hands. She then reached up and shoved it into Dib’s ear.

“Ow, what was that?” Dib said, rubbing his ear.

“Back-up universal translator,” she explained with a groan. “I’m speaking Irken. You hear better now?”

“Yeah, why didn’t you do that earlier?”

“You didn’t bring it up.”

Dib shrugged, conceding her point, and they turned their attention back to the crowd.

“Come on,” the Red Tallest sighed, impatiently tapping his cup. “Make your speech so we can end this party and get back to important things.”

“Right.” Zim cleared his throat. “Friends, I stand before you today proof of what a true Irken can accomplish. Genius, ingenuity, ambition, these are the things that make an Irken great. With these an Irken can become whatever they want and crush their enemies. To victory!”

“To victory!” the crowd answered back and drank.

Dib kept his eyes glued to Zim though the speech. When Zim lifted his cup to his lips, Dib’s eyes went wide.

“Tak did you see that?” he whispered.

“What?”

“It's Zim. He didn't drink?”

“How can you possibly know that from all the way over here?

“He didn't tip his cup back far and he didn't swallow.” Dib explained. “And look.”

Zim's eyes scanned the crowd and he quickly checked something on his wrist.

“Is he checking the time? Look at him. He's up to something.”

Tak only responded with a skeptical look.

Dib sighed. “Listen, if I can be considered an expert on anything, it's obsessing over Zim, and you may not guess it from the everything-about-him, but he can be cunning when he wants to be.”

Tak got up and joined him at the bars. Her eyes narrowed as she scrutinized Zim’s expression. “If you're right about this,” she mused, “then the question is, why does he want to be?”

The Irkens lowered their now empty cups, except for Zim who still held him onto his. “Yes, Irk is mighty and prosperous,” he went on, tapping a sharply clawed finger against his cup. “It's such a shame Spek couldn't share in our prosperity.”

“Spek?” Dib turn to Tak. “What's a Spek?”

Tak could only shrug. Dib looked back over at the crowd. They looked just as confused as he felt.

“Spek?” the Purple Tallest mumbled to the Red. “I don't remember any Spek.”

“Spek!” Zim shouted throwing, his cup down and jumping on the table. “The smeet who died in the Death Melee because of your attempt to have me killed! It wasn't your first attempt either. You sent me on my mission to Urth, hoping I’d get lost in the vastness of space.”

“Zim…” The Red Tallest said in a warning tone.

“You sent me to hobo 13 and bet on which drill would kill me.”

“Zim that's…”

“You lied to me about the true nature of the Death Melee so I would die for your entertainment. You gave me a smeet, one who hadn't even seen his first cycle yet, as my partner, just to lower my chances of survival. Do you deny it?”

“Enough, Zim!” the Red Tallest roared. “You can't speak to us like this!”

“I can! I am!”

“Remember you are speaking to your Tallest,” the Purple one shouted back.

“I have no tallest!” Zim declared proudly. “I don't take orders from you anymore, and I haven't since the Death Melee! For 0.3 cycles, I've dreamed of nothing but my vengeance and I shall have it!”

The Purple Tallest laughed. “Ha! Vengeance? Look around you. You're surrounded by the top tier of the Irken Armada. How exactly do you plan on getting past them?”

“Aww, too bad Zim,” the Red Tallest said with a mocking pout. “Looks like you failed, just like you always do. Your vengeance is over before it's even begun.”

Zim looked down on the device on his wrist. He smirked and looked up at his Tallest with the cold fury in his eyes. “My vengeance has already begun.”

At that moment, a General dropped to the floor and began convulsing. More and more Irkens followed him. Zim’s smirk grew with each new body that hit the floor. Finally, the Tallest started convulsing as well.

“You won't get away with this,” The Red one choked out before collapsing on the floor.

He flashed a wicked grin. “Oh, I think I just did.”

Zim’s pack legs deployed as he jumped off the table. He scuttled over to the cage and, after hitting a few buttons, freed Dib and Tak. “Follow me,” he yelled and led them out of the snacking hall.

[hazellum]

My Conribution For IZ Week 2020 Day 1

@invader-zim-week​   

200 years in the future

 As Almighty Tallest Miyuki stood in the bridge of the Massive, she grinned in satisfaction. Before her was all that was left of the Resisty; after she had "freed" Vort, it had mostly fallen apart. All that was left were those who were out for revenge. Sure, it still had had around half of its original force. But now, it had been whittled down; all that was left was a few fighters and a single craft carrier.

 "Now darling, weren't you telling me about a new weapon you'd invented?" she asked, looking over at Tallest Membrane. Once Professor Membrane of Earth, the once-human was now her life partner, her soulmate, and her co-Tallest.

 "Oh! Yes!" he said, his face lighting up. Running to his personal lab, he retrieved what he would need before sprinting back to the bridge. Pressing a button on his Pak, a bubble formed around his head and nanobot gloves covered his hands. "I'll be right back!" he said, before heading to the airlock. He'd been waiting for the chance to test this out.

 After making sure the jets in his boots were functional, Membrane activated the airlock and was out in space. Grabbing on to a passing fighter ship, Membrane rode towards the center of the Resisty's formation. Looking into the cockpit, he saw that this particular fighter was being piloted by Gaz.

 "Hello, daughter! I know you're having fun, but once you get to the Resisty's formation, please do turn around, and have your battalion retreat as well. I'm testing out a new weapon." he said, using the intercom function on one of his gauntlets.

 "Ughh. This was just getting fun, and it's not like I'm going to be getting another fight like this outside the simulations for a while. Are you sure?" she replied, pressing a button on her dashboard console.

 "Yes, I'm sure. Its an AoE weapon, and I don't want anyone getting hurt."

 "Anyone outside the Resisty, you mean," she replied, grinning. Ah, well. It would be quite the show; while her father still mainly focused on quality of life inventions, his weapons were always fun to watch.

 Typing out a quick command message to her squadron, she then opened up a video message to Dib and Zim. "Dad says to get your asses into retreat. He's testing out a new weapon," she said.  Zim started shouting something about "death to his enemies," but Dib looked happy. 

 "Great! Hey, do you mind telling Mom and Dad that I just went straight back to the Specter? We just found this one planet that has *actual mermaids,* Gaz." Dib looked excited. Well, finding planets where things that had only been fantasy on Earth existed was his favorite part of their new life.

 "Fine, but if they decide they want a family dinner and you're not here, I'm not taking the fall for you," she replied.

 "Haha! Yes, Dib-Stink! She will not take any blame! And neither will-" Zim was cut off when Gaz continued speaking.

 "I'll blame it on Zim."

 "No fair! We're both Tallers, why not just blame a Smaller?!" Zim shouted, in his usual, annoying way.

 "Because how could it be a Smaller's fault? I'll just tell them you two got in a fight and Dib stormed off." Gaz said, smirking. 

 "I hope you children know I never ended the call," Membrane said, butting into the conversation. All three of them, Zim, Gaz, and Dib, blushed, and Gaz ended the video call.

 With her battalion in retreat, Gaz neared the Resisty flagship. Hah! It was a craft carrier, but it was all those idiots had. As Membrane leapt from her fighter ship, Gaz turned around and headed back towards the Massive. Once she was back within the ranks or the Armada, she turned around to have a full view of what was about to unfold. Pulling a bottle of soda out of her storage cabinet, she sat back in her chair to enjoy the show.

 As Membrane rocketed towards the center of the Resisty formation, he thought about what sort of celebration Zim would inevitably throw to celebrate the Resisty's defeat. It would likely be incredibly loud, but it would be fun. Maybe they'd take a vacation back to Earth. 

 Once he reached optimal position, Membrane began readying his new weapon. Pulling himself into the small hull, he hoped he'd done the math correctly and that the area he was in would be safe. fiddling with a controller, he activated the countdown.

 "Resisty. Your life can now be counted in seconds. 3___2____1 Weapon Activating Now." the robotic voice of the weapon boomed out, broadcasting to every screen in every Resisty ship. As it finished speaking, Membrane squeezed his eyes shut. Even with his goggles turned to full light-blocking, the fiery light still illuminated his eyelids.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

*Credit for Steven Universe goes to Rebecca Sugar,

Credit for Transformers goes to Hasbro & TakaraTomy (Credit for Transformers Animated goes to Cartoon Network),

Credit for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles goes to Peter Laird & Kevin Eastman (Credit for TMNT 2012 goes to Nickelodeon),

Credit for Deltarune & Undertale goes to Toby Fox,

and Credit for Invader Zim goes to Jhonen Vasquez.*

I would of posted this up on here yesterday, after some time after posting it at the other place I posted it...

but then I felt not too great and there was crying too,

it has to do with some stuff that happen on March 2021.

Gaz saying she has a Squeedlyspooch, is of course a reference

to her saying she has a Squeedlyspooch in one of the episodes of Invader Zim.

the type of Game Slave she is playing is called a Game Slave Switch,

which is suppose to be a counterpart of the real world’s Nintendo Switch.

the Pak she has on, didn’t have a Irken bonded to it,

but it ending up on her back is because it sensed or other picked up by it’s digital sensors, that Gaz has traces of Irken DNA in her.

the idea is that while her Paternal Template is her Father,

Professor Membrane.

her Maternal Template Is The Late Tallest Miyuki,

making Gaz a splice clone of both Membrane & Miyuki.

how Gaz ended up being partly a clone of Miyuki,

is that some of Tallest Miyuki’s blood sample was taken,

and it was somehow send to Membrane,

who not knowing it came from a Alien from another world,

he used it with his own blood sample to create his second child,

which ended up being born a biologically female instead of male,

like his first child, Dib.

I like the idea that Gaz wears color contact lenses,

to hide the fact that her eyes are blue instead of the same as her father and brother.

originally her eyes were blue in the pilot,

so even though her eyes became brown later...

I like the idea that her brown eyes, are fake and are just color contact lenses

to make them appear the same as Dib and possibly Membrane’s brown eyes.

Membrane could have brown eyes, and if Gaz was half of Miyuki’s clone,

then her blue eyes would come from her own blue eyes.

the Pak when attaching itself on Gaz upon sensing she has traces of Irken in her DNA, well the outer organic half of one.

 the Pak itself scans the Irken part, then creates a double of Miyuki

in a form of a A.I., this A.I. Miyuki is able to appear before Gaz at will

and to one else in the room with them.

knowing she is but a memory of the original Miyuki,

and is just a clone A.I. made up from the Irken DNA that her daughter

Gaz had inherited from her.

Membrane of course wouldn’t have any knowledge he used Irken DNA

when he created his daughter Gaz, as the blood sample was from a unknown person....who might be Irken or one of their allies.

Gaz’s Pak, could give her ability to transform to and from her human form,

and Irken form...her Irken form being a clone of Miyuki,

will of course look slightly like Miyuki, but still having Gaz’s traits.

the reason why Pink-Steven is in this, is because he is still “Steven”,

well the gem half of him, while the now Sans is the formerly Human half.

the two are cleaved forms of the Half-Human/Half-Gem Steven.

if Sans is Steven Quartz Universe,

then he might not be able to keep his Gem where it normally was,

when it ended up no longer a part of his body,

it reformed to the Pink-Steven once again.

in theory, Sans and Pink-Steven could fuse to become “Steven”

but like how most fusions are, it wouldn’t be as long as most fusions,

and if the fusion between Sans & Pink-Steven would be unstable,

the two would unfuse from being the Human-Steven, they were once were together, to becoming just Sans and Pink-Steven once again.

we know that fusion can either be romantic love or just a friendship type love,

Steven’s fusion with his father Greg, could be seen as a Family Fusion.

so Sans fusing with Pink-Steven, to become the Original Steven,

would be like a Sibling Fusion, but still falls under a Family Fusion.

Sans might become protective of his brother Papyrus,

if Greg tries to get to know his son’s new brother.

even if he has become lazy, Sans might not want Greg to get close to Papyrus,

because of somethings that he still hasn’t fully forgiven him for.

even if at the last episode of Steven Universe Future,

Steven seem to be on good terms with Greg,

in the reality where he became Sans at some point after he had moved away.

he could still hold some form of disappointment towards Greg,

because of how he viewed his life with Steven’s Grandparents.

even if some fans might not see Greg as the bad guy in that one episode,

Greg proved that he is truly like Rose, being both Good & Bad,

and if it is anything like how White, Yellow and Blue were about Pink/Rose...

Greg’s parents must of ended up hurting emotionally too.

hope some of you like this drawing, see ya later and stay safe everyone.

[slinkinginshadows]

Eggs

Just realized I can throw this over here! This is relating to some aus over on my main, but all that really matters is that Dib is irken in this au too and they’ve been popping out eggs for quite a while now.

Warnings: Birth kink, egg laying, oral sex

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 1220

Ship: ZaDr

The doors had been locked, walls soundproofed, and the smeets kept firmly away for the next few hours to wait for the newest batch of future siblings.  Zim ran a hand over his stomach as Dib fussed with the nest, adjusting and re-adjusting the pillows. It was a big clutch this time- seven eggs. 

Laying, however, was something he was more than used to, even with a few extras. Dib adjusted his goggles before his gloves slid under Zim's tunic to shift it up, exposing the gravid belly underneath. A few years ago, he might have been able to make out subtle bumps with the individual eggs, but now, a soft layer of fat smoothed over it to make him perfectly round.

"Ready?" Dib's claws hooked under the fabric, but instead of tearing through, he slid it over Zim's head. Zim had already kicked off his boots, and he tried to remove his tights as well before slumping back with a groan.

"Once I get these off I- oh." Zim's eyes widened, antennae leaping straight up as Dib bent down, completely hidden behind his stomach. He felt teeth brush against his thigh, draaaaaaaagging the fabric down bit by bit. Dib was using his fingers to pull down the right side while his mouth handled the left, and by the time he threw the leggings away, Zim was beginning to soak the blankets underneath him. 

"I'll take that as a yes." Dib's own antennae were perked forward, delicious hormones diffusing through the air and intermingling with Zim's own. He set a hand on Zim's hip, tracing up, up, up to end on the top of his belly. "You're incredible at this."

"Of course I am." Zim grinned. "No irken could make smeets as well as I can. You're lucky that you found me."

"I'm lucky you're so eager to be my little breeding pet," Dib murmured, hand tracing down and over Zim's sternum to cup his chin and force him to look directly into Dib's eyes. "You carry so well."

"Only because you treat me so well," Zim said, legs falling open as Dib leaned forward, pulling him into a kiss. Dib reached up, finding Zim's antenna and pulling it down so as soon as he rose from the kiss he could pop the top in his mouth. Zim's eyes squeezed shut, panting out. "Dib..." Dib's tongue ran down the of the antenna, length a definite advantage of an irken tongue. Dib waited until he could practically feel the heat radiating from his hand that had drifted to Zim's cheek to release it, smiling down at him before shifting back down to legs.

He was slick-heavy, both with broken water and sweet arousal. Dib licked his lips. He always wanted to devour every bit of Zim, mark him as his in every way he could, but birth days were always the best- he was ripe like the richest fruit and eager to fall apart in Dib's hands, short and plump and the picture of a carrier. Dib ran his tongue up Zim's petals, and Zim hooked his feet behind Dib's neck, one kicking out hard enough to almost knock his Pak off when Dib dug his tongue inside of the entrance.

"Dib!"

"You love it," Dib muffled a laugh against Zim's inner thighs, and the vibrations made the petals soften further against his cheek.

"Stop knowing me!"

"It's a little late for that." Dib pressed kisses against the thigh. "I know you like honey on your drinks, and you don't like it when I take too long in the lab when you need attention. And you always need attention. I know how soft you can be with the smeets, and how you sing in the shower." He let his teeth graze the soft skin and felt Zim's toes curl on his back. "And I know just how much this all turns you on."

Zim made a hmmph-ing sound, but the longer Dib worked, the more it morphed into a low moan. Eventually, his legs relaxed again, falling back, and Dib felt movement to his right. He turned to see the first egg beginning to pass. 

"Good, there's one. Just stay relaxed, you know the routine by now," Dib said, holding out a hand as Zim grunted. The egg slid out and into his palm, and Dib set it aside before turning back to the entrance. He begin to kiss the soft skin around it, and Zim's claws ripped through the fabric of the nest. 

"D-Dib..."

Dib didn't respond, lavishing attention on Zim as he melted underneath the eager kisses and licks. Soon enough, another egg neared. Dib didn't even need to tell Zim to push, he was already doing it, he really was so good at this. Even though there were more than usual, the eggs were the same as always, and it slipped through, widening the entrance for just a moment as it slid into the pillow.

The pattern repeated, Dib softening Zim up so the eggs had minimal resistance and the eggs moving right through. Three, four, five, six, slight variations in size but not enough to bother Zim. Seven, however, was having a problem.

Sweat beaded Zim's face, and he peered over himself. He could see Dib's tall antennae now as he bobbed up and down, pleasuring Zim the way no one else ever could or would. "Where is it?"

"It's coming, be patient."

"I want to see it- eep!" Dib had left a playful nip where Zim's thigh met his petals, and it melted his squeedlyspooch to goop. Every one of his nerves was firing red-hot, and his hips bucked at the latest contraction. He wanted the egg out so he could curl up and rest, so he could finish, but it was stubborn. It must be the Dib in it. Zim could still feel it, heavy in his pelvis, and panted into the warm air. 

"It's coming, just relax."

"I was relaxed until this one refused to- oh!" There it was. The egg was larger than its siblings, that was for sure, and Zim could feel himself being stretched further than usual. Dib wiggled his fingers in to help ease it out, and a series of flurried clicks and chirps erupted from Zim. 

"That's it, it's okay, I have it," Dib soothed, and Zim's hips and ass tightened before the egg slid out. He felt empty, like a mech without a pilot, until Dib set the egg away and peppered kisses over him again. He was still wet in every meaning of the word, and a few well placed suckles on the petals of his entrance was all it took for him to cum, moaning out Dib's name. 

Dib emerged, pink dripping from his lips as he licked them clean. "I see why seven was a problem." He held it up- it was about a size and a half as large as a regular egg. "It might be twins, or it might be a regular smeet that's just really big."

"Either way..." Zim started, before he had to catch breath. "Either way, it's ours."

Dib carefully wrapped the egg in a blanket before scooting up next to Zim, kissing his forehead. "It is. You've done well."

Zim preened. He did, and he couldn't ask for anything else.

[chaoartwork]

Multivoid: Prologue

A fanfiction revolving around 2K, Palindrome and the alternate Zims in the aftermath of the Battlevoid arc.

Based on Invader Zim comic issues 46-49.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bright green light of the Zapper can be seen from the distance, standing tall and mighty for six months, while the green vortexes are shown in the sky. Distant explosions can be heard growing louder and louder. A highly advanced voot cruiser zooms by, tumbling about with smoke coming out from one of the engines. Within the voot cruiser, sirens were going off, the monitor blinking a sign that said “ENGINE FAILURE: ENGAGE NEW ENGINE”. Palindrome frantically looks about all the complicated buttons that were barely ever in his original cruiser.

“Come on, come on, which one! If that Zib really is half of me, where would he put that stupid button-?!”

Just as he was searching, the voot’s communicator turned on.

“Pal...PAL! Can you hear me?!”

There was no doubt on mistaking that loud child-like voice. Palindrome immediately turned on the speaker,

“I’m going down! There’s a monitor telling me to engage a new engine, but I don’t know how!”

“Well I don’t know, try anything! Maybe try the big yellow one on the right corner of the controls!”

He knew that he shouldn’t hesitate and hope for the best. He slammed his fist down on the big yellow button, and heard a bam sound at the back of the ship. For a moment, he thought that he would explode to bits until he saw the sirens go off, indicating that the damaged engine ejected out and was replace with the new engines that was within the ship. He gripped on the pilot handles and yanked it back.

 The voot cruiser flicked back to its normal position and the ships’s fall softened to a stop right before it can even hit the ground. Palindrome took a moment to rest against the seat and sigh in relief.

“Ok,” he told the speaker, “I’m good.”

A sigh of relief can also be heard from the child-like voice.

“Well that’s good. Yeesh, you almost gave me a heart attack...”

“Heh...now you know the feeling I get every time you run into danger.”

 Palindrome took a moment to calm and then looked out from the horizon. Thousands of voot cruisers can be seen swarming the now damaged castle, with a huge mechanical Zib looking robot standing on top of it. He watches as the robot keeps shooting down the cruisers and knocked out any that tried to charge towards him, making them tumble down into the ground. Each Zims were able to eject themselves out of the ship safely before it hits the ground and exploded. With nothing else for them to do, they look up at the remaining ships still flying and started rooting for them to win.

 At this point however, Palindrome know that Zib will win unless they try forming a battle plan.

“He’s stronger than expected, 2K. If we’re going to win this, we have to find a way on getting to him without being blown to bits-“

“Yes yes, I’m aware of that, let me think!”

“Well try not getting yourself killed while you’re thinking.”

The communicator remained quiet. Not wanting to do anything else unless the smeet forms a plan that he might take part in, he looks out again at the battle field. Even though there were thousands of ships flying about, he was able to easily detect 2K’s ship. It was like his normal cruiser, but with two missiles on each side of the ship. Although it did not look as powerful as the other ships, it did not stop the smeet from sharply steering the ships through each of Zib’s attacks and even attempting to shoot back on the gigantic robot.

 It was a great reminder that this is what his best friend really is. Someone who is willing to strive forward no matter what obstacle. Not even the fact that his body was de-aging little by little didn’t stop him. He may not be as strong as Palindrome, but his determination and confidence is something that can never be beaten down. The fish hybrid’s smile crept again. As long as he’s like this, then Palindrome, not even the others who have spent months in this asteroid planet, are going to give up. They are so close to going home.

Palindrome’s attention to 2K’s ship however was distracted when he noticed something off about the vortexes. Within the center of them, a red color  swirled out until the green vortexes were now completely seen with a sort of reddish and pinkish color. Palindrome blankly gazed at them.

“....Thats new.”

He spoke through the speaker again.

“Hey 2K, the vortexes just turned red all of a sudden. Do you know what going on with them?”

“Red vortexes?” 2K asked before having a moment of pause, indicating that he was possibly looking at them.

“...Huh,” the smeet responded with a tone of wonder, “that’s new.”

“Exactly what I said,” Palindrome looked back up at them. As he’s doing so, he can hear 2K hum as he ponders about it.

“...Wait!” His tone lits up, “maybe the Elder was able to successfully alter the vortexes. We should be able to get back to our timeline!”

Palindrome blinked,

“You really think he was able to do it?”

“Why not?! He’s a Zim, so he should accomplish anything! Well not as much as me and you, but you get what I mean.”

Palindrome’s ear fins raised up a bit in interest, remembering the time before they left the Elder, he told them that he would find a way to go to the Zapper and try altering the vortexes that should give the Zims access back to their home timeline. He did however say that he was going to try releasing the captive Zims first. And given that there are two thousands of them, he  would be surprised with the fact that he was able to do it that fast.

 Though there can be a chance that as he was freeing them, more helped out. Palindrome glanced at the huge glowing device, his eyebrows furrowing.

Altering the Zapper’s device was a task that I was completely against. Given the fact that we barely know how to use it and what available functions it may have, was he really able to do it? Will these altered vortexes really take us back home? And more importantly, how will the Zims that lost their ships be able to travel back?

 “....Wait!” 2K spoke you again, “I think I have an idea!”

“You do?” He looks back at the speaker.

“Yeah! It’s kind of crazy but then again, that what makes me so awesome!”

Palindrome knew what he meant by this and narrowed,

“You better not get yourself killed.”

“Well were all gonna get killed anyways if we can’t think of anything else!” 2K argued.

The fish hybrid went silent. At this point, he can’t convince him not to do whatever he was going to do. They might die either way by this fused creature. There is no other option but to do whatever must be done to win.

“Oh! And Pal?”

Palindrome took a moment to snap out of his pause,

“Yeah?”

   “I am very very certain I will make it out of it. But just in case that extremely rare occurrence does happen, I want you to take my place. You got that?”

He already had an idea on what he meant by that too. He took a deep breath.

“Alright. But come back alive, ok?”

“Got it! Alright, I’m going in!”

He watches 2K’s ship make another sharp turn, heading straight towards the mouth of the robot. However, right before 2K entered the mouth, Palindrome far off saw Zib, sitting on top of the head of the robot, took notice of the a boot cruise charging in. Without hesitation, Zib quickly controlled the arm to quickly grab the ship and crush it. His heart sank, his body feeling cold.

No...no no no no....

He quickly turned on the speaker again.

“2K. 2K!”

There was no response.

His body started to quiver, his eyes glued on the crushing boot cruiser that his partner is in. His teeth clenched.

“2K!!”

The communicator remained silent. His sat there quietly. Grief was starting to set in. And so did grudge. His eyes flared deadly at the creature that was controlling the robot.

“I want you to take my place.” The voice of his friend echoed in his mind.

His hand slowly and shakily grabbed unto the control handle. He was about to be the one to charge in next.

 However, a sound of broken glass can be heard from the crushed voot cruiser, along with a small being flying right out of it and then falling onto the the mouth of the robot. He was hanging onto the edge, his body quivering and struggling, until he built up strength to climb inside of it and disappearing. Zib can then be seen looking in shock and anger before shouting something that was too hard to hear from far off. He turned and was about to hit another button when something caught him off guard. His eyes immediately turned to the monitor with shock and confusion. He took a moment to hit a button that caused a force field to surround the robot, preventing itself from getting damaged by any of the cruiser’s attacks. Zib then glued his eyes back at the monitor, pressing many buttons that didn’t do anything.

   Even though the force field was on, the robot was no longer moving.

A new communication picked up,

“You! Scuba Diver! I cannot pick up signals from from the baby! Where is he?” One of the Zims asked.

“I saw him go inside Zib’s robot,” he answered.

“Why did he go inside the robot?!”

Another Zim joined the communication.

“BIG ZIM CANNOT SHOOT FAKE NUMBER 1!” Another voice spoke, “BIG FAKE NUMBER 1 ROBOT WONT GO DOWN!”

“There’s a force field in the way,” another voice spoke, “and I can’t communicate with the baby on what we should do next!”

More and more voices chimed in. Wow. How can he even go through here? He never expected to take a solo leadership duty.

 Collecting his thoughts on what to say, he turned the speaker on again.

“Listen, Zims! Hover over the head. You can try to continue shooting the force field to see if it could break. But I think we should also let 2K handle this. I think he might be onto something.”

“Did he tell you what it is?” One of them asked.

“He didn’t tell me,” his eyes traced back at Zib. “But something tells me he’s going to confront him in person. Maybe the weaker Dib can join if he sets him free.”

He looked out, seeing Zims within the cruisers glance about each other. Possibly uncertain. But they looked back into their controls.

“Sounds good.”

“If theres only one Zim here that can get to him, we’re gonna have to rely on him.”

“Hmph. I would have charged in that mouth first.”

Palindrome sighed in relief. Maybe this leadership thing is not as bad as he thought.

“Wait! I see him!”

His eyes opened again,

“Who?”

“The Zim Baby! He’s right over there!”

Palindrome looked to see. There, 2K was seen climbing out of the mouth again, his head raising up to look at the head. Glancing about for few seconds, he found an area he can climb on as he hopped right onto the wall and started climbing.

Palindrome gazed at his friend for a short while. He turned to the speaker again,

“Start hovering over the head.”

Just as told, the ships hovered up before positioning and aiming right at the distracted Zimvoid leader. Palindrome was the last to join the army and aimed as well. Despite his aiming, his eyes still focused on the small Zim. His climbing showed to be weaker than usual, most likely because of how much his stamina was easily running out. Even so, it did not make the child give in. Palindrome sat there silently.

Come on. Come on. We trained all these months for this. Come on.

  2K finally manages to get on top of the head, holding onto one of the giant antennae to keep him standing after such an exhaustive climbing. He can see him communicate with the captive Dib, the kid looking at him in confusion when responding back. Zib has now turned his head to look at the alternate version of his enemy. 2K spoked something to him. Palindrome grabbed his handle again, his finger resting on his trigger for the right moment.

2K looks back at the Dib. He speaks to him again while he walks fast paced towards-

 A harsh groan escapes from the fish hybrids when an unexpected and heavy uncomfortable sensation quickly raced throughout his body. It was a feeling he never felt to the point that he couldn’t even describe it. Was it pain? He didn’t even know if he can describe it as pain. But it was as though his entire body was beginning to weigh down and grow numb inside and out. He almost lost control of the ship and it was about to make a nose dive to the ground, but Palindrome still felt conscious enough to pull the handle back, stabilizing the cruiser from falling. At least for now. But it did not stop the feeling that he was experience and it almost immediately got to the point where it felt like his mind was starting to get distracted by something else, yet he can’t remember what it is that he should think about.

  Whatever it was, the awareness of his surroundings were starting to deteriorate. He groaned again, his eyes squeezing shut, and placed his hand on his bowl,

“Why do I feel...more...stupider...?”

His eyes opened, feeling the numbness on his hand getting stronger. He pulled it away and looked to see why he was having trouble feeling his hand.

  He noticed that something looked strange about it. Then something came out of his hand that looked what appeared to be floating goo as he watched it turn into a darkish green color. More and more came out and he realized that his hand was look thinner. Wait....is his hand-?

Screams and shoutings were suddenly heard outside, causing him to flinch and snap his gaze away from his disappearing. He looked out. What he saw was something he did not ever expect to see.

  All the ships were falling. No. They’re not just falling. They’re dissolving. Their dissolving. The screams and shoutings were so loud that he can actually hear them:

“BIG ZIMS DOES NOT FEEL LIKE BIG ZIM SELF! BIG ZIM QUESTION BIG ZIM’S INDIVIDUALITY!”

“What’s happening?! Why am I....?”

“Make them stop!”

“Everything I am is a lie!”

It didn’t even take long before he saw green goo shoot out of each of the ships, getting sucked on by the vortex that were getting stronger. His breathing grew heavy in horror, eyes tracing about everything he was seeing. It’s not just him.

The ships. Everyone. But.....why?

He looked at the Zapper. He realized something looked off about it. It looked brighter then....

He froze up in realization.

Oh no.

 He was caught off guard by his body growing heavy again, each of them being worse than the last to the point where he feels like he can barely sit up straight or even concentrate on driving the ship. He tried to catch his breath again, fighting to keep his mind as much as he could as he can feel it deteriorate even more. There were even moments where he almost forgotten why he was here. Wait...where was he? What is he doing? He’s doing this for somebody. Someone...

 Something urged him to shakily look up, doing his best to ignore the dizziness. His eyes finally trailed back to the head of the robot. He can only see a Dib who is captive until he saw  some small being nearly fly past him and started to grip onto his hair strand. At this point, the smeet’s body was already starting to dissipate.

His mind sprung back to life for that moment. His eyes widening to gaze at him. He quickly grabbed the handle and started dashing right towards him. Along the way, he needed to dodge anything that would stop him from reaching him. With every ships that soared passed by. Every ships that almost hit him. Every sharp turns he need to make in order to avoid getting hit. The debris of the robot. Everything.

His dissipating eyes never let go of the child, his ship continuing to speed right close to to where he was at, despite it shutting down on him. The ship’s glass dissipated, making him feel the strong wind and yet could no longer feel the coolness of it. The kid was only using one hand to hold onto the hair strand, his other hand already completely gone and his dissipation worsening. He did not have any time. His mind thought of the name he last wanted to think of. The very last thing he could remember besides all the other new memories that was that was replacing his original memories. He sharply filled in to what now felt like his lungs instead of his gills, almost as if he was regaining them.

“2K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The child froze. He instantly turned to the source of the voice. The alternate Zim stiffened in horror.

His face. His face is almost gone. The child nonetheless still saw him, gazing at him with a dead expression. Even though there was barely any expression on his face, Palindrome can sense him trying to comprehend what was happening. But that he knew that whatever was happening, he knew that he should terrified. It had to keep hitting the fish hybrid with the conclusion that he never want any of them to believe. But it seems the worst really was happening.

They failed. They failed to defeat Zib. They failed to go back home. They failed to continue living their normal lives on their timeline. They failed to survive this void. They failed...They failed....

I failed....

He started to feel choked up, not sure if he was even able to produce tears.

I failed you.

“2K!!!!!!!”

He screamed out again, quickly climbing out and leaping out of the ship at the right moment, his arm reaching out and hoping his body can get to him on time. 2K however remained frozen. His mouth moved, seeing how they formed to say his friend’s name, even if it was just a whisper. His eyes grew heavy. Palindrome’s consciousnesses started to rapidly deteriorate.

 He just needs to get to him. Just to be with him for just a...

2K lost complete grip and flew off, his body fully coming apart. Palindrome instantly lost conscious the moment it happened.

[krizaland]

imagine if defying gravity happened after your yandere zim story with irken reader. the tallest and the irken pilots all think you’re a lovely tall irken and you’re freaked out and only want to find your human body asap while avoiding everybody, especially zim

Oooh! I like the way you think, Anon! 

Be warned: There’s swearing ahead!

For those of you wondering, Here is the ficlet the Anon is referring to.

Here’s the song I used

You thought that being sent to The Massive would be a great way to get away from Zim but alas!  Zim wasn’t the only Irken who had feelings for you!

It seemed as if every Irken you met wanted you for themselves! Not even The Almighty Tallest were immune to your charms!

The entire Empire was infatuated with you and The Control Brains took notice.  At first they were worried you might ruin their control over the Empire but it didn’t take long for them to realize that your charms could be useful.

Thus they came up with an awful, nasty idea.

The next thing you knew, you were thrown into flashy outfits and forced into hundreds of photoshoots and even performing on stage!

Your face was all over the galaxy! From Foodcorita to Blorch! The Irken Empire just couldn’t get enough of you!

Every Irken you met was literally throwing themselves at your feet! They were pledging their lives to you and even offering to die for you in battle!

You found yourself growing more and more overwhelmed with each passing day.

Every Irken begged for your attention and some wouldn’t take no for an answer.

One minute you were being showered in compliments, the next you were snapped at for being ‘rude’.

However, whenever you tried to protest, The Control Brains sent a nasty shock through your PAK.

This was your life now, forced to perform for a crowd of thirsty space bugs with lasers.

At least The Tallest treated you well. They made sure your chambers were filled with most comfortable furniture and the rarest of snacks.

You had to admit, at least being with The Tallest was better than living in Zim’s basement.

Every time you thought of Zim you felt your blood boil. This was all his fault! If it wasn’t for his stupid experiments then you wouldn’t be in this mess!

You could be back home on Urth! Living your life as normal! Hell, you could’ve even worked up the courage to ask Dib on a date sometime. However, now that you were an alien freak, you felt like your life was over.

“Oh, Y/N! It’s showtime!”

The sound of the Announcer’s deep voice woke you from your thoughts.

You let out a sigh and put on your fakest smile as you walked out onto the stage.

The crowd roared with applause and whistles! You tried your best to remain calm but you were starting to feel the floodgates open.

“Now, the lovely Y/N will now serenade us!” The Announcer chirped, much to the audience’s delight.

You took a deep breath and started to sing.

“You pull me here and there, so I don’t go nowhere. You tell me you love me but you treat me like I’m never there.” You gently walked across the stage as you struggled to hold back your tears.

“You say the cruelest words! You used to break my heart, cause I’m over here working my ass off!” You playfully shook your rump,  causing a few excited whistles to escape the crowd.

“Why is it so hard to see? Why? If I cut myself I would bleed? Kill me. I’m just like you, you’re like me. Imperfect and Irken are we.” You dramatically drooped your head as if you were a puppet.

“Show and tell. I’m on display for all you fuckers to see. Show and tell. Harsh words if you don’t get a pic with me.” You sang as you playfully gestured to yourself.

“Buy and sell. Like I’m a product to society! Art don’t sell, unless you fucked every authority.” You mimed being a doll in a store window before playfully curtsying.

It didn’t take long for The Tallest to pick up on what was happening on stage.

“They’re so cute..” Purple cooed as he put his hands on his cheeks.

“Yeah they are but, is it just me or do they seem…upset?” Red noted as he leaned over to get a better look at you.

“You beg and cry for more. Yet I’m on the floor. There are strangers taking pictures of me when I ask no more” You were on the verge of tears as you shielded your face from the cluster of camerabots that flew over to greet you.

“It’s really hard for me to say just how I feel. I’m scared that I’ll get thrown away like a banana peel.” Your voice quivered a bit but you kept going.

“Why is it so hard to see? Why? If I cut myself I would bleed? Kill me. I’m just like you, you’re like me. Imperfect and Irken are we.” You dramatically drooped your head as if you were a puppet.

“Show and tell. I’m on display for all you fuckers to see. Show and tell. Harsh words if you don’t get a pic with me.” You sang as you shakily gestured to yourself.

“Buy and sell. Like I’m a product to society! Art don’t sell, unless you fucked every authority.” You mimed being a doll in a store window before hanging your head low.

“Show and tell..” You stared to sniffle as a few tears trickled down your cheeks.

“Why can’t you fucking hear me?!” You blurted out as you felt another shock jolt through your PAK.

“Show and tell. Um, Are you listening yet?!” You asked in a sickly sweet tone.

“Oh yeah, they’re definitely upset about something.” Red sighed as he got up out of his seat.

“Where are you going, the show isn’t over yet.” Purple whined as he gestured to the stage.

“Don’t worry, it will be soon.”

And with that, Red went off to track down the Announcer.

“Show and tell. I’m on display for all you fuckers to see. Show and tell. Harsh words if you don’t get a pic with me.” You sang as you continued to sob.

“Buy and sell. Like I’m a product to society! Art don’t sell, unless you fucked every authority.” You fell to your knees and curled up into a ball as the curtains came to a close.

“Sorry folks! It looks like we’re having some technical difficulties! The show will have to end early tonight. No refunds.” The Announcer explained as the theater’s lights came on.

The crowd booed and jeered as they begrudgingly got up and flied out of the theater.

“Y/N what was going on back there?” Red asked as he kneeled down to face you better.

“Yeah, why is your face all…sad and stuff.” Purple asked as he munched on a few donuts.

“It’s nothing really, I just…I’m just having a rough day is all.” You sniffled as you dried a few of your tears.

“Well what’s the matter? I mean you have everything you could possibly want.” Red reminded.

“Yeah, the Empire loves you! They keep giving you snacks ands stuff!” Purple added as he kept eating.

“I wish they’d give me my freedom.” You muttered under your breath.

“You’re gonna have to speak up, Y/N. I didn’t quite catch that.” Red said as he gestured for you to speak up.

“I said that…” You trailed off a bit as you felt another shock brewing in your PAK.

“Go on, what did you say?” Red urged as he gently held your hands.

“Oh god, I hate Zim.” You grumbled as more tears spilled down your cheeks.

“Yeah, we all do, Y/N. We all do. Don’t worry. He’s in the far reaches of the galaxy!” Red sighed sympathetically.

“Yeah, he can’t bother us anymore! We’re free!” Purple sang as he waved his donuts around.

“You may be free but I’m not. It’s only a matter of time before he finds me!” You whimpered as a few more tears trickled down your cheeks.

“Hold on, did Zim..do something to you?” Red’s eyes widened a bit as he spoke.

“Who hasn’t been hurt by Zim? I mean, he destroys everything he touches!” Purple reminded as Red shot him a glare.

“Zim ruined my life!”

The floodgates burst open as you broke down and hugged your knees.

Violent sobs wracked your body as you begun to rock back and forth.

Red and Purple exchanged concerned glances as you continued to sob.

“Just calm down, Y/N. We can get this sorted out! I promise.” Red stuttered as he reached out to you.

“Y/N you don’t have anything to worry about. It’s not like Zim is going to try to track you down or anything.” Purple mused as he scarfed down another donut.

Little did Purple know that nothing could’ve been further from the truth!

Back on Urth, Zim was in a frenzy! He couldn’t believe he had actually sent you away!

Every second that passed by without your presence, drove Zim deeper into madness. He had to get you back he just had to!

He missed your sweet smile, your soft embrace, you gentle laugh! He missed you more and more each passing day.

Zim didn’t know how but he knew he had to get you back no matter what the cost.

[messinwitheddie]

Since ghost Tallests are a thing now, do the previous tallest ever get together & talk about what their time was like? Do Irken soldiers become ghosts too?

I'm answering this a little out of order ^^

This Irken ghosts sequences are almost 99% ripped off from the Bojack Horseman episode "view from halfway down."

The Irken reaper (or the female in white or Mother, as she was once called) is no different than any other reaper, just death taking the form of something an Irken's subconscious can process.

Depending on your personal perspective or belief or disbelief in an afterlife, there are no Irken ghosts or ghosts at all; just the mortality-fearing living wishing to reconnect and projecting their memories onto reality,

or residual life energies clinging to this dimension or faint time anomalies being witnessed in the present.

But... they could be ghost too. If they are real, any Irken that dies can become a ghost.

However it's not common for anyone to see them. Irkens pay no attention to the paranormal. It's fact or nonsense, no inbetween to them.

The control brains collect all dna, memories and individual life data (or... souls, arguably, again, depending on what your definition of a soul is) from deceased Irkens and recycles it all at random. So the existence of an afterlife is not something Irkens generally question. They trust in the collective. An Irken acknowledges no perminent death so long as their PAKs can be retrieved.

All Irkens live on anew after they die. Or do they?

It's fun to speculate. I like ghost stories, personally, even if I think they're just stories.

As for Tallest Ghosts, the spirits past Tallests tend to gravitate towards each other because their life experiences were similar.

They are very talkative and engage in long, heated debates with each other often. When I have enough brain cells to write a decent dialogue I will continue this scene.

Dib "I'll show you to your table."

Zim "The Dib?!"

Dib "I was expecting a much grander entrance before the exit."

Zim "What are YOU doing here?"

Dib "I was your mortal enemy. I wouldn't miss this for the universe."

Zim "This doesn't feel real. I've never seen my surroundings from this high off the ground."

Dib "Everyone is at the same eye level here; it's the great equalizer."

Zim "WHERE is HERE?!"

Dib "Nowhere. This is just your brain going through the process of shutting down."

Zim "What are you wearing?"

Dib "I was convinced I was the reincarnate of a Mayan warrior when I was 14. It's a long, dumdass teenager Dib story. I don't have time to tell it. This is your moment."

Zim "To do WHAT?"

Dib "Don't play dumb, Zim. You're supposed to be my superior. You know what's happening."

Zim "The cruiser was on auto pilot..."

Dib "Doesn't look like you locked the settings."

Zim "I was always a little scatterbrained. What good is finally being superior if you just end up here?..."

[shadowofthelamp]

It's been hundreds and hundreds of years since Irkens haven't been cloned, Zim's super tired near the end, Dib needs to help him get up or move into comfortable positions, he's actually really worried he might lose his mate? His smeets? Thankfully all is well. (picturing Zim going to just start wandering into the woods/fauna of whatever planet they've stopped on at the time when he learns he's carrying four little smeets, hes in shock but gir finds him!)

Zim was exhausted.

He was exhausted a lot of the time, nowadays. Normally, irkens only had to power themselves into a sort of ‘sleep mode’ for about an hour every few days, but lately he’d been sleeping nearly half of what time he could count on the ship. (Dib slept about an hour a week, and usually only when his Pak started beeping irritably at him.)

Zim rubbed at his eyes, staring at the cables intermingling in the ceiling and picking out images in how they mixed. A muffin came from the heating cables, and a scalpel from the atmospheric processors where they crossed with the vents. One hand lay idly on his stomach, feeling the warmth bubbling beneath the skin where the eggs were incubating. They were stealing most of his warmth, the little brats, which was why he was currently wearing a sweater that Gir had “borrowed” from some alien Zim had already forgotten the name of at a diner on the last moon they’d passed.

He could hear Gir moving around outside the room. It was Gir because there were little ‘tings’ as his metal feet touched the tile- besides, Dib was usually in the lab or in the pilot’s seat.

“You better be worth this,” Zim warned with a poke at his middle. “You’re treating me unfairly- I’m the only reason you exist, and you reward me for making you with boiling my spooch?” His back hurt. There was a dip in the cot for his Pak and he was settled on top of pillows- handmade from snack bags with gel stuffed inside- but it still ached. He was sore all over, actually, and his head hurt, and what if he’d escaped only to die here because there was a reason they’d stopped breeding, or maybe Dib would just care about the smeet once he-

He slapped the speaker button next to the cot. “Dib!”

The speaker buzzed. “Mhm?”

“My brain is going in circles again.”

“Oh. Want me to come get you or can you walk right now?”

Zim sucked in a breath through his teeth, shifting so his feet were dangling over the floor. The wrappers crinkled as he moved, and he cautiously tested his weight. He was wobbly, but managed to take a few steps, even as he yawned. He’d slept for hours this time, he should be fine. Smeets walked within a few seconds of activation, he should be able to get to the lab. He was almost 100, after all, he was more than capable of outperforming a smeet.

He made it the ten steps to the door before he got winded, one hand bracing his lower back. How did the breeders do this in olden times, where they might go through it twice a year?

“Meet me in the middle,” Zim groaned, and he heard a ‘got it’ from the speaker before it fizzled to silence. He tapped his fingers over the curve extending in front of him. If they had been smaller, he wouldn’t be having this problem. Or if he was larger. The diagrams they’d managed to dig up seemed to say that usually taller breeders were the ones that had the smeets. From how achey Zim was and how heavy they felt in his hips, he saw why. 

He managed a few more steps, leaning heavily against the wall, before Dib appeared, sliding Zim’s arm over his shoulder.

“Lounge?” Dib asked, and Zim nodded, lips pressed tightly together. Together, they managed to slowly walk over to the side room full of more cushioned chairs. Zim sunk into the nearest one, letting out a sigh of relief. Dib pulled out his notebook, but Zim grabbed his wrist, tugging him down to squish in next to him. 

“Hey!”

“You have heat,” Zim said by way of explanation, before he leaned up and  nuzzled the side of his face against Dib’s cheek. Dib softened a little.

“Feeling cold again?”

“They’re taking my energy and my heat now,” Zim groused. “Pretty soon they’ll start taking my brain, and then where will I be?”

“Less likely to complain.” Dib tweaked the tip of one of Zim’s antennae playfully, but couldn’t help the storm starting to churn in his own guts. Even with as much as he slept now, the bags under Zim’s eyes were getting darker. They weren’t sure how much the genetic modifications done over the years during the cloning process would affect gestation time, so they had no real way of knowing how much longer Zim would have to deal with this. He already looked like he was reaching a limit. “If the reports we dug up mean anything, you only have about a week to go. Then we’ll have a few smeets here to entertain us. I’ve already got the Paks ready in case they come early, so you just need to rest.”

“Resting is so boring, though.” Zim scrubbed at his eyes. “But I’m too tired for anything else.”

Dib shifted- this chair really was only meant for one, not two and a half. Half of his butt was settled in what little remained of Zim’s lap. “How about at the next stop I see if I can scrounge up some video games?”

Zim perked up. “That would be good.”

Dib patted the top of Zim’s stomach, hoping that they weren’t making a mistake by letting this play out naturally instead of figuring out how to cut the eggs out. “Everything will work out.”

[minaim-blog]

DaTr Date Night - Part 1 - At The Arcade

There’s school tomorrow but it’s date night for Dib and Tak. As a break from their usual night out Dib brought her to the local arcade, but there Tak finds something she can’t beat down or pause for later. Will she be able to overcome or this truly unbeatable?

Tak reviewed the state of her vessel meticulously through its computer console. She noted a stable life-support system and defense array at near maximum power, its sensor’s registered itself atop an atmosphere-less asteroid hurling through space with her opponent nowhere to be found. She concluded the disappearance was caused by a cloaking device attached to the enemy’s ship which she had noted lend itself quite nicely to their tactic of minor aggression followed by hasty retreat, repeating until victory was achieved. It had only succeed in dealing minor damage to her vessel both now and at an earlier encounter, but she knew her opponent would need more than a cheap trick to take down an Irken Invader, and also that her opponent (for all she could tell) could not supply anything else beyond that.

Still, she was just as cautious as she was assured of her own victory, as only a fool would let themselves be defeated by their own overconfidence. Contrary to the greatest annoyance on this dirt ball of a planet, which she’s been existing on now for more than six of its solar cycles: Zim. Whose very existence breathed overconfidence, and yet also possessed an infallible tenacity that refused to perish no matter how far to the brink of devastation it was brought. While she did think the later was an admirable trait, she never would have said this openly to him, as it would have only made him that much more insufferable. She was hesitant to call him an ally, more so a neighbor in banishment, and he could still inspire within her a feeling of deepest frustration and malcontent whenever he dared to proclaimed himself as anything besides incompetent.

“Zim is neither here now, nor the reason for coming out.”

She had to tell herself this to refocus on the enemy at hand. Thankfully just as she brought herself back to the battle the enemy provided her with a means to its end. While her enemy’s cloaking device mostly obscured it from her ship’s sensors it was not completely unidentifiable. In their previous encounter Tak noted that her sensor array, while unable to detect the enemy ship, could pick-up any projectile based artillery fired on the battlefield, and thanks to the now incoming fire she was able to pinpoint the general location of her enemy. Maneuvering her vessel past the incoming missiles she utilized her ship’s ability to release a focused EMP based attack at the location of fire, while it deals no damage it makes up for it in its useful ability to remove any buffs the target possess. In one swift motion Tak was both able to avoid the enemy fire and release the blast towards it source leaving two ships now visible on the battle field. Pleased with her accomplishment but rather annoyed at the lack of challenge Tak revealed her disgruntlement,

“Alright, hide and seek is done. Let’s get this over with quickly, my boyfriend and I had the rest of the evening planned.”

Saying this however seemed to anger her opponent, which while it was not her intention, helped in ending their confrontation. Her opponent charge forward blindly in an attack that was easily dodged and Tak followed it with one of her own, dealing major damage to his ship. The vessel she was piloting possessed relatively weak firepower and average defenses but exceled at maneuverability and close quarters combat. Her opponent’s ship lacked firepower, defenses, and had only average maneuverability at best. Its only strength was its cloaking device, which was now useless.

“You know when I said, ‘get this over with’ I didn’t think you would just throw yourself at me. I thought you said you wanted a rematch?”

A display showed up on her screen with a video feed of her enemy, and she was surprised that even with the filter it provided the human looked just as greasy and disgusting as normal. Perhaps even more so, if that was possible. Her opponent roared,

“This is our rematch!”

Goading her enemies was something Tak had trouble avoiding and hated to admit it, but she chastised herself saying that Zim was rubbing off on her and hated that even more. In the instance she thought this to herself her opponent had already charged at her again and was able to land a blow. Tak quickly brought herself to attention and used her opponent’s over extension against him as he spurred a flurry of attacks, and was able to land a powerful counter. The blow was not fatal but the stun it provided allowed Tak to finish him off in her own sequence of attacks or “COMBOS” as Gaz had corrected her before. Tak even tried to remember one of the strings Gaz showed her last time they played together.

“Down, down, up, up, right, left, right, left. Or was it reverse? Was there an ‘X’ somewhere? Or was it ‘B’?”

She continued thinking like this to herself while she was attacking and complained that humans should streamline their attack commands if they ever wanted a chance against a more efficient species. True to any video game however, simply mashing buttons brought her to victory without even focusing and her opponent’s ship was rubble in no time at all. The computer screen on her ship beamed “PLAYER 2 WINS!” and an electronic fanfare blasted into her ears which together with the strobe lights was almost making her nauseous. Thankfully her work was done, and she removed the virtual reality helmet she had been wearing during the fight and found herself in the familiar arcade Dib had managed to drag her into.

Her opponent: the greasy, sweaty, and annoying human, was banging his fists on the computer console and his helmet, managing to hurt himself doing so. He tore off his helmet and glared at Tak while shouting again,

“I want a rematch!”

“That was your rematch.” Tak responded. “And like the first one, it wasn’t much of a match.”

“I would have beaten you, if it weren’t for your bullshit!”

Tak pricked up her brows at that. “Really? Cause from where I’m looking the ship you choose could probably be called ‘bullshit’. I however would call it more of a crutch.”

“It’s not a crutch! It’s a perfectly fair and balanced mechanic! Your ship was the one that’s unfair, it completely counters anything I could throw at it.”

“Why didn’t you pick a ship that was better equipped at fighting it then? I choose the same ship twice.” She removed the gloves to the simulation and got out of her seat while saying this, as indifferent towards him as was physically possible.

“Because I don’t need bullshit like you to kick your ass!”

“Evidently you do, or else you would have won.” She ended their conversation honestly, but her opponent didn’t appreciate it and was now spewing Earth profanities at her as she went away, which she did not care to pay attention to. She wasn’t upset at the profanities, it just made him that much more annoying, but she did feel sorry for him. She knew his emotions would only distract him and never let him improve, and just thinking about that concept made her stomach turn over. The crowd that had surrounded them during their battled seemed to be disappointed and pitied her opponent, but knowing humans she doubted it was for the same reason as her.

“Come along Mimi, let’s find Dib. I’ve had enough of this place.” Her loyal SIR unit, disguised as a cat, followed her in suit after collecting tickets that came from her machine, the purpose of which, still eluded Tak. She then made her way through the crowded and began the search for her big-headed boyfriend.

She had agreed to come to this arcade at request of Dib in hopes of having a “normal” date night. “You know without fighting off intergalactic threats, or hunting paranormal creatures, or having to make sure Zim doesn’t blow up the universe with one of his inane schemes.” She could hear him speak in her memory, and she still didn’t understand what was so much better about a “normal” date. Those fights were at least exciting and even if the enemy was smelly or annoying she was allowed to hit them. The bigfeet stalking he took her on typically ended in the two of them just walking through the forest and talking about anything, which was perfect as far as she was concerned. And not having to worry about Zim depended on Zim, and the probability of him taking a night off to make sure he didn’t spoil their night was about as likely as either one of them ever being allowed within a parsec of Irk again. Their entire night had been a let down from the beginning. As soon as they had set foot into the arcade she was overcome by the smell of old popcorn and stale candy, with jarring sound effects coming from every corner she looked. The dim lights contrasted by the bright consoles reminded her of a miserable city-planet she saw long ago, and the patrons where just as charming as they were clean.

Dib had tried to win her over when he saw how disappointed she knew she looked, he tried to tell her that the real attraction to the place were the games, not the ambiance. Though she had trouble seeing how any of the games could pass for recreation. The first game he brought them to was called “Sky Ball” or some other such nonsense, the purpose of which entailed rolling balls up a ramp into goal posts. While that may have proven a challenge for humans an Irken smeet could probably play that game, and she had been able to beat Dib with a perfect score using fundamental physics. Not to say Dib did horrible, but not perfect. Another game they played involved a battle simulation and Tak was confused how such a thing was meant as recreation and not military training. Another one involved playing as a yellow circle gathering pixels while avoiding ghosts, or one of Dib’s other interests, that clearly followed a predefined path, and so were easily avoidable to the point where she could have beaten the game in her sleep. Every other game they played followed suit similarly, if Tak was playing she found it either too easy or uninteresting, and if they played together Dib didn’t provide an adequate challenge for her. She was very happy that losing didn’t seem to bother Dib too much, definitely not as much as the human she just beat. Eventually he was just as bored by the arcade as she was and the two of them left to the food court section of the arcade to sit down and eat. Dib ordered a plate of nachos for them to split which were adequate except for the cheese which tasted more like syrup than cheese, and she had gagged on it. She then tried to wash it down with a drink from there which she nearly threw back up from the taste and way it burned her throat. While she had spent some time on the planet and built up a resistance to its filth, it didn’t do too much to help. Dib freaked out more than she did and probably would have carried her all the way back to her base if she let him. Tak was able to compose herself though and told him she was fine, but having had enough of their food she told him she needed a moment to walk it off. It was during that time that she ran into the apparent “champion” of the ship battle simulator, which she of course found to be anything but.

Right now she was exhausted of the arcade and just wanted to find Dib and maybe enjoy the walk home together. She made her way back to the food court but was only able to find the empty table they sat at before she left. She was just about to call him and save herself the time looking for him when Mimi grabbed her attention and pointed to familiar trench coat at the far end of the food court. Dib was on a small platform connected to a console doing what she assumed (and dreaded) was some sort of Earth dance, but it seemed that he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be fluid or firm in his movements. His feet were moving up and down the platform in a sporadic manner, but his upper body for the most part wasn’t doing all too much except for when he occasionally brought up his arms for emphasis of a move. While normally she would have been annoyed at him making a fool of himself, after the fiasco their date night had been it was refreshingly humorous. Still, she wasn’t in the mood to stay there any longer than she had to and made her way over to him. As she got closer she could make out on the main screen was a series of arrows overlaid on graphics scrolling from the bottom of the screen to the top and on the platform were corresponding symbols. Blasting out of the consoles speakers was the most jarring music Earth had to offer. So her fears were right and it was a dancing simulator, if the humans could even call it dancing. She approached Dib just as the music was reaching its climax and didn’t try to hide the bewilderment in her voice.

“What on Irk are you doing?”

Dib was caught off guard and immediately spun around to her voice. “Tak! Are you feeling better now?” He was leaning over the guardrails on the platform, evidently a little tired out from his excursion.  

“I’m fine.” She answered tersely, “But I’m ready to leave. I’ve had enough of this arcade.” She was looking past Dib at the machine, unable to hide her sickening curiosity of it. “What is this ridiculous contraption?”

“This? It’s DDR. Do you want to play a round before we go?”

Tak double checked herself to make sure she heard him correctly. “Are you serious? I just told you I’m ready to leave, I’m not in the mood for ‘a round’ of another one of your dumb Earth games!”

“Yeah, but…This one’s different.” Dib pointed behind him as he spoke sheepishly to her.

“Different?”

“Yeah all the other games we’ve played have been pretty straight forward. Applying physics, shooting stuff, avoiding AI patterns-”

“-Basic combat strategies.”

“Which one did we play that was about that?”

“I was playing against someone else when I went for my walk. It’s not important.” She waved her hand away as she said this, brushing the subject aside. “How is this one different?”

“Well this game is really about testing timing and coordination, you have to keep your feet to the beat, and also you need the stamina to last till the end of the song. So really its more about your physical fitness than anything else. This is also probably the game I’m the best at here, it’s the only one I’ve ever been able to beat Gaz on.”

“You’ve beaten Gaz on this?” Tak’s interest was piqued, Gaz was incredibly skilled at video games and on the few ones she liked to play against her Gaz always provided an excellent challenge. Gaz hadn’t beaten her every time they played of course, Tak was constantly improving herself and knew it was only a matter of time before she could beat Gaz consistently.

“Yeah, really just because she doesn’t really like this game.”

Tak knew Dib had an ego, but she also noted he tried to diminish it when he was hanging out with her, which she thought was sweet and also good for him. She felt better about not telling him this, in case it would counteract the attempt he was making.

“Well I still don’t know if I want to play this.” Tak said standing with her arms crossed staring at the machine.

Dib grew a grin after she this, “You’re interested in it though.”

“I’m not.”

“Ah, see? There’s that Irken stubbornness I’ve come to admire.”

“I’m not being stubborn. I’m just not interested.” Tak said this even though she was interested in the game a little bit, if only because Dib said he was able to beat Gaz at it, and that is was different from everything else she tried tonight. Even while thinking this, she still wasn’t sure she was interested enough to try it.

“Come on, we’ll play one game and then I’ll walk you home.”

“One game?” Tak asked still folding her arms over her chest, but saying and doing not much else.

“One game. And then I’ll take you home or anywhere else you want to go for the night.”

Tak stood there weighing her options, and eventually it seemed to Dib that Tak’s curiosity got the better of her.

“Fine.” She dragged out, “One game, then take me home.”

Dib did a small fist-pump after hearing this and started setting up the machine.

“The game’s really simple Tak. I’m going to pick a song and on the screen arrows are going to scroll up. When they reach their outlines at the top you just press the matching buttons on the floor. You get extra points for staying in rhythm so if Irkens have any sense of that you’ll have to show me tonight.”

“We don’t have music on Irk Dib, any such distractions are viewed as detrimental to productivity. And so doesn’t go well for the Empire. Even so, I doubt this will be an issue for me.”

Dib made a small raspberry, “Wow. You Irkens really are a happy bunch? I’m honestly surprised Zim’s one of your species.”

“Dib. It’s bad enough for me that you interact with him when we’re all in the same room. Please don’t make this date even worse than it’s already been by bringing him up.”

Dib rolled his eyes at that but didn’t say anything further to the point. “Do you care which song I pick then?” He said this as he took off his trench coat and hanged it on the platform railing.

“They’re all equally hideous to me Dib, but pick something with a bit less ‘pop’ in it. I find those kinds of songs completely unbearable.”

“This one is probably more your style then.” Dib said as he choose the song on the menu, “Techno-Something” or some other nonsense Tak didn’t bother to read. Before they completed the setup Dib noticed Tak taking a long look over the screen then was usually normal for her.

“This should be easy Dib.”

“Don’t sound too sure of yourself Tak, you know I’m full of surprises.”

She grinned slyly at that but didn’t say anything. Dib asked her a final time if she was ready, and after she said she was the game started and a techno mashup blasted through the speakers. It wasn’t one of Dib’s favorite songs, and it didn’t help that the track had a difficult sequence in the beginning. He was putting in his all regardless, and was able to do decent at first but noticed a fall in his quality as the song drew on.

“What’s a matter sweet Dibble, getting tired already?” Tak cooed over to him.

Dib was so focused on his own screen that he hadn’t looked over to Tak at all, when he did he was stunned to see her screen performing a perfect score but her not moving at all. More so from the shock he hunched over and grasped for breath while asking how she was doing that. Then Dib was reminded that his girlfriend was an Irken Invader. She let out a laugh that would send him into a panic if he still thought of her as an enemy. While she was doing so he saw her pak legs fade in and out of visibility as they flawlessly performed the sequence on the screen.

“That’s cheating Tak.” Was all Dib could say.

“Cheating? I’m not cheating. I’m just using my own advantages to my benefit. It’s not my fault you’re a weak human.”

“Yeah but the purpose of the game is to use your own body. I could probably disassemble this whole thing and reprogram it to always give me a perfect game, but I wouldn’t be actually playing the game at that point. Same as you using your pak to play it for you.”

“Yeah, well too bad. Looks like neither of us are playing now, so there’s no point in arguing over technicalities. And I believe our agreement was you’d take me home after we were done. So let’s get going.”

Tak stepped off the platform as she said this and began walking away before Dib interrupted her.

“It’s okay Tak, I get that you need a crutch.” She didn’t say anything but she stopped in her tracks and visibly tighten. “I mean hell, if I had a robot backpack attached to me my whole life, and I depended on it to do all my physical work for me, I don’t think I’d feel too confident in my ability to play this game either. But hey like you said, we’re not playing anymore. But don’t worry we won’t be coming back here so you won’t have to worry about this catching up to you.”

Dib stepped off the platform as he said this and went next to Tak after he grabbed his trench coat off the guard rail. He could see her shaking slightly, he thought from anger, and was worried for a second that he may have touched a sore spot for her. His concern didn’t last after she spoke to him.

“Dib. Make no mistake. I am way stronger, faster, and more agile than you.”

“Right, which you totally just proved.”

“I don’t need to prove anything to you!” She said spinning around to him. The anger in her voice would have sent him into a panic years ago but since then he’s learned a thing or two about her.

“Oh what’s a matter? The little Irken’s afraid of losing to the human.” He teased her.

The two of them were both facing each other as they talked, and Tak after hearing this came close to him and forcefully pointed into Dib’s chest repeatedly for emphasis as she said,

“Never call me little. Ever. Again.”

“Alright, alright.” Dib laughed off. “The very tall, smart, and pretty Irken is afraid of losing to the small, dumb, ugly human.”

Dib leaned over her as he said this and even picked himself slightly off his tippy toes for a moment. Dib was a good bit taller than she was even with how tall she had become while staying on Earth. Tak hated the fact that Dib had grown to be so tall, and hated that she liked it so much.

“You don’t really mean your pak does all the work for you.” Dib tried to say this as smoothly as he possibly could.

Tak backed away from him for a moment and squinted while bringing her hand to her eyes. “Dib, I know exactly what you’re trying to do-”

“-and it’s working?!” Dib interrupted her sounding very hopeful.

She brought her hand over her head and brushed it through her hair. “You are the most annoying human on this planet, and the second most annoying thing overall.”

“Careful Tak, keep talking like that and you’ll end up making my ego bigger than yours.”

“Please. It’s only an ego if you can’t back it up.” Without another word she stretched herself and stood back up on the platform, the previous song having already ended while they were talking.

“Let’s just get this over with. I don’t care what song you pick. Let me just beat you so we can both go home.”

“If that’s the case then I’m going to pick my favorite song on here. I want to give you a real challenge.”

“If you manage to actually do that, that’ll be the biggest surprise this evening.”

Dib glared at that but didn’t say anything related to it. He set up the game and the two of them were preparing themselves.

“And no cheating this time.” Dib said.

“I don’t need to.” Tak hissed out.

There was silence between the two of them as the game counted down before beginning, and Tak could feel the tension between the two of them growing unbearable. Right before it did Dib said playfully,

“I love you Tak!”

Tak was caught off guard by his statement, if only because she didn’t know if he meant it sincerely, if he was just loosening the tension by being weird, or if he was trying to distract her. She was ready to say something in response, what she was going to say she wasn’t sure, but she was interrupted by the start of the round before she could say anything. A gushy pop song blasted through the speakers, it seemed Dib was throwing all the cards against her now, but she was more determined to win now than she had been before in a very long time. The first opening seconds of the song was easy as all the movements followed a predictable sequence, and Tak was able to land all the movements. She noticed she wasn’t earning a perfect score, as the system indicated she hit the correct buttons but not in “beat”, which she now assumed was a more precise timing.

“This is your song Dib? I’m falling asleep here, if that was your plan it’s working.”

“Don’t boast too soon Tak, it’s about to heat up.”

Not a second after Dib said this, the music faded from its current style to a rest. Tak thought it sounded like the low rumblings before an avalanche, and then the song blasted into a crescendo. Tak attempted to follow along but the previous sequence the song followed briefly in the beginning was gone, and the new one seemed almost random, and the music jarring to her. Her feet shuffled trying to hit the pattern, but she was losing all over the place, and felt clumsy on her feet like she had never used them before.

“Not so easy now, is it Tak?”

She could hear Dib goad next to her. She looked over to him for a second and found he was just as clumsy as she was, probably even worse. She didn’t say anything to this though, she just gritted her teeth and growled slightly while trying to focus. She would win this yet. She tried to recover and find the beat, but every time she got the pattern down it seemed the song would change it just to mitigate her progress. She found herself lifting her arms in emphasis of her movements subconsciously, like how she saw Dib do earlier. She was not going to give up, an Invader would never give up even in the face of total defeat. She eventually found a pattern to the madness, and while she wasn’t hitting every note the song threw at her she felt she was a far cry away from losing. The song had only been going on for a minute or less but she felt it had lasted ages and was already feeling drained. Imagine her joy when she looked over to Dib again and saw he looked more tired than her.

“Give it up Dib.” She started, panting for breath slightly in between moves. “I’ve studied your human physiology, your body can’t produce nearly the same amount of energy as an Irken. You may have been fine at the start of the song, but there’s no way you can beat me now. Without a squeedlyspooch it’s just not possible.”

“Yeah Tak?” Dib started panting just as hard as Tak, “Well it seems like your knowledge of humans is totally off. I’ll have you know we humans get what’s called an ‘adrenaline rush’. Which is this big burst of energy that makes us like fifteen times stronger. It happens all the time, and old ladies can use it to pick cars off of babies.”

“Really?” Tak asked clearly disbelieving.

“Yeah. And you know what? I think mines about to kick in!”

Dib picked up his pace for as long as he could after he said this to help the illusion. He wasn’t sure if Tak bought his bluff, but he could have sworn he saw her try to match his speed and swore under her breath. He couldn’t have chosen a better time to do what he did. The song had ended right when he felt like he would have collapsed if he went on any longer. The two of them weren’t mouthing off at each other after it ended, they had been too tired to do so, and where instead hunched over the guard rail facing the console panting heavily. Tak’s score shot up first: “C-”.

“Hah! Beat that Dib!”

While Tak had said this as boastfully as possible Dib could tell she was extremely disappointed with her score, and hoped it wouldn’t bother her too much later. Dib’s score showed up next, he wasn’t sure what he was hoping for before it came up, but it was on the screen before he could decide: “C+”.

“I… I won?”

Was all Dib could say, as he felt there were eyes burning into the back of his head. If any were though it wasn’t Tak’s. He looked next to him and saw she was still staring at the screen and watched her expression change from shock to complete anger. Dib wasn’t sure if he was more scared of or worried for her.

“Hey Tak, don’t worry about it. It’s only a game.”

He said trying to mitigate the situation but worried he only made things worse. She was breathing heavily, a look of anger still on her. She grabbed the metal guard rail and Dib thought for a moment she was going to crush it with her hands. She must have realized she couldn’t (or decided not to crush it) and instead brought her hands to the rubber padding at the middle of the railing and slowly tore that off, which Dib knew was no easy feat. Her breathing seemed to quite after she did this and Dib hoped she calmed herself down, but right after that Tak turned around and walked away from the console. Dib called out to her but she was ignoring him completely, and not wanting to lose sight of her he went after her without even grabbing his trench coat. He didn’t get more than a few steps before he tripped over something.

“Really Mimi?”

He called out looking around him, but Tak’s Sir unit was just collecting tickets from the machine. It gave Dib a quizzical and angry look as she did so behind her disguise, seeming to state she didn’t trip him but was happy he did. He got up and grabbed his trench coat before going after Tak, glaring at Mimi the whole time. He looked around and called for Tak again but she was nowhere in sight. He assumed she went to the exit and was headed there when he saw Mimi go off deeper into the arcade. Knowing Mimi was a bit more loyal (or at least more obedient) than Gir would be in a situation like this and that she had a sixth sense for Tak’s general whereabouts he followed her in tow. They ended up in the section of the arcade that had the older cabinets that weren’t as popular, and as far as Dib could tell it was just him and Mimi there. He heard a sound like something banging hard against the side of the metal cabinets and he and Mimi both went towards the sound. They found Tak, her head buried in a corner between a wall and an old cabinet, and she wasn’t saying or doing anything. Mimi went up to her and padded at her legs with her paws while mewing, but Tak did not respond in anyway.

“Tak?” He called out cautiously to her.

“That was horrible.” Was all she said.

Dib rubbed the back of his head as he said, “Really Tak it wasn’t that bad.”

“Yes. It was.” Tak stated this flatly, and Dib could sense the frustration in her voice. “It’s bad enough that I lost to you by two whole grades, but the fact that you weren’t in peak condition and I was means I would have lost worse if we were even.”

“I wasn’t tired Tak, that was me giving my all. And you did play really well for the first time. I mean, I’m nowhere near good at that game, I’ve seen people play it before that’ll destroy anything I got, and you really didn’t do as bad as you think.” Dib was nervous and stumbled out his words as he tried to cheer up Tak.

“Don’t fucking patronize me! You know how stupid I looked out there! That thing made me feel like I’ve never used my feet before!” Tak slammed the side of the cabinet again, and turned around to glare at Dib.

“Okay, okay Tak! It’s just a game. You don’t need to get angry.” He brought his hands to his face as he said this and felt a familiar sense of self-preservation taking over him. Tak girted her teeth and clenched her fist harder as she turned around to stare into the corner again.

“I am not angry about the game.”

“You’re-You’re not?” Dib said dumb founded.

“No. I’m not, I’m furious, but it’s not about the game. It’s about how much I’m letting this thing get to me.”

“I don’t understand.”

Tak seemed to curl inward of herself and became smaller before she spoke, “Irkens don’t get mad. Or if they do they don’t let it get in their way. The fact of the matter is that I failed, and when that happens one of two things follow for an Irken: you’re disposed of. Either demoted or removed. Or, you learn from it, and never let it happen again. I shouldn’t be so angry that I can’t focus on what I did wrong and how I fix myself. I should be calm, focused, and determined.”

Tak lowered her voice as she finished and tried to remain collected, brushing a hand through her hair, but Dib saw frustration return to her face before she even finished.

“I shouldn’t be thinking about how much I hate that game, and how stupid it is, and how I never want to play it again, but I just feel angry and I CAN’T STOP FUCKING FEELING THIS WAY!”

Tak punched the side of the cabinet again which made an incredibly loud noise and Dib saw it leave a dent that would definitely be noticed by someone later. Tak didn’t do or say anything else after this, and Dib didn’t know how to try to comfort her, or if he really knew what she was going through. Mimi stopped padding her legs after her final outburst, and went away into the arcade again, Dib wasn’t sure what she was up to “Maybe she’s giving us some time alone?” He thought to himself, and so tried to make the most of it.

“Tak.” He started awkwardly not knowing what to say. “I get it, you’re angry.”

“You think?” She responded harshly through her teeth. Which Dib thought was better than her just being quite, but he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Yeah but I think you’re angry for the wrong reasons. I get, you know, losing at a game sucks. It’s normal that you’re angry about it, but don’t be angry about being angry.”

“I’m not angry about being angry.” She said this with a bit less malice in her voice. “I’m angry that I can’t focus.”

“Right which I think is dumb. What does it matter that you’re not set on getting better at a game you said you’ll never play again?”

“Because an Irken would never be like that,” Tak turned away from her corner to look at Dib as she said this, “an Irken would rise to the challenge no matter what!”

“Well you’re a far cry from Irk now. Maybe you should stop living like you’re under the Empire still. Maybe you should live the way you actually want to now and not the way they would want you to. Here on Earth you can do that.”

Dib thought what he said was pretty inspirational, but Tak didn’t seem too convinced and shook her head slightly before continuing.

“Dib, do you remember when I went to walk-off that disgusting Earth food? I said I was playing another game with someone else. The human I was playing against got so angry when I beat him. So angry that all he could focus on was how angry he was, when I could see, and I knew he could see, how he could have done better if he just looked at what happened objectively and not emotionally. That’s me right now, I’m so focused on my anger that I can’t get better.”

“Well…then I’d say you’re better than he was, at least you’re self-aware.”

“What does it matter that I’m self-aware if I’m still like this, that I’m still def-. That I’m still angry?” Tak turned away from him again into the corner, the faintest look of sadness in her eyes that was almost invisible.

Dib didn’t need to be his dad to figure out what was bothering Tak the most (actually he doubted his dad could figure it out, he never really was much of a people person). Dib knew the “D-Word” was a really sore topic for Tak, one she rarely ever brought up, and if she did she would never want to go any further into it than the length of the conversation brought it. So he tried to cheer her up one last time.

“Well then just be angry. The game’s stupid anyway.” This was all he said to her, and for a moment there was a period of silence in which neither of them spoke or did anything else. Eventually Tak was the one who broke the silence.

“I really hate that game.” She said this with deep loathing in her voice, and turned from her corner to Dib again.

“You’re not the only one, I’m sure.”

“Can we go destroy it?” Tak said with joyous anticipation in her voice, and turned fully away from the corner to face Dib.

“That’ll probably get us kicked out of here permanently, so no.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“I mean the four of us will probably want to come back here again when we all want to hang out. And I know you’ll want to keep trying you’re hand at beating Gaz again.”

“I’ve already beaten her before.” Take said annoyed crossing her arms.

“Beating her some more is what I meant. Gaz would love to play against you on one of the games here.”

“I’m not playing against her on the dancing game.” Tak said almost growling, and Dib tried to back pedal to save himself.

“I never said you would. I said Gaz hates it too, remember?”

Tak still had her arms crossed while they were talking, and she looked more annoyed than upset or angry, so Dib thought she was better but not completely. Even while she looked annoyed she couldn’t manage to look at him in the eyes. Right as they were done talking Mimi came back mewing at Tak’s legs again, but Tak completely ignored her. Dib noticed she was holding a receipt paper in her mouth.

“What do you have here Mimi?” Dib said and reached down for her, and was pleased and surprised that Mimi gave it to him. He looked over it before showing it to Tak.

“It looks like Mimi’s been collecting all of our tickets for the night. I honestly forgot this arcade even had them, and we got over 25,000 to spend.”

Tak tore the ticket out of Dib’s hand and looked over the receipt herself.

“I have no basis for this currency. Is this a lot?”

“Probably enough for us to get anything we want at the prize counter.”

Tak tossed away the receipt towards Dib. He caught it as she started walking away.

“Is that supposed to interest me?”

“We could probably find a toaster or something for you to fiddle with and make a bomb out of if that interests you.”

“Dib, you know the device you call a ‘toaster’ doesn’t have near enough parts to turn it into a practical improvised explosive.”

“Well, you could probably find something else and turn it into something to prank Zim with next time we see him.”

Tak grew a huge grin at the mention of that. “Maybe I can find something to scar or frighten him.”

“So we’ll go to the prize counter and get something?”

Dib went up next to her and grabbed her hand. Tak then leaned into his shoulder and sighed before saying,  

“Do that, and then take me home.”

* * *

“Man… the ticket prices sure have gone up since I was a kid.” Dib said as he scanned the prize counter from top to bottom.

“Inflation is typically a natural course for an ungoverned economy, and this place hardly seems like the type to have any regulation.” Tak said condescendingly.

The two of them were standing next to one another, their hands still intertwined. Tak was leaning her head against Dib, but looked more exhausted than affectionate.

“Is there really a point to us being here still? I don’t see anything I like.” Tak said, once again not hiding her annoyance.

“I’m trying to find you a gift remember?"

“Gift? Last I checked Dib I earned us most of the tickets we have. Doesn’t that make you more of an Indian giver?”

“No, that’s when you give something away only to take it back later.”

“Whatever! My point is I don’t need anything from here.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been having a shitty night. I just wanted to get you something to make up for it.”

Tak sighed in resignation, “Just pick something quickly, and let’s get out of here.”

Dib was looking as hard as he could, but he wasn’t finding anything he thought Tak would enjoy. She liked to dabble in examining “primitive Earth technology” every once in a blue moon purely for fun, but all of them were in the upper millions. They did have a toaster funnily enough, but that was half a million, so also out of budget. The only items they could afford where the small to medium sized stuffed animals, and some other toys. Thankfully it was just the two of them at the prize counter and the employee running it was preoccupied on his phone, so he spoke to Tak freely about what she’d really use the potential gift for.

“What about that can of slug?” He said pointing to a cheap toy labeled Biohazardous Waste, “I’m sure it’ll burn Zim a little bit, or you could poison his lunch with it.”

Tak came to attention at his suggestion and was considering it for a moment but said, “Nah, I could probably synthesized something worse on my own.”

“Okay well how about that laser?” He said pointing to a plastic laser toy on the wall which boasted the ability to shoot real lasers.

“Really? I could make better firearms in my sleep. Even if I was just going to examine it for amusement I doubt I’d get any enjoyment from it.”

“Okay well how about that?” Dib said, this time pointing to a box for a cat leash with a picture of little girl towing a cat along. “It would help you keep an eye on Mimi.”

Mimi hissed and scratched at Dib’s leg at the suggestion, which prompt a small laugh from Tak, afterwards she said playfully,

“Oh, I don’t know Mimi, Dib’s got a point. You’ve been awfully rambunctious lately.”

Which earned a low growl from Mimi in response.

“So I’ll get that for you?” Dib said hopefully.

“If you want to sure, but honestly I’ll never use it.”

This was becoming a difficult decision for Dib. He didn’t want to get a gift for Tak, just for the sake of it. If he was going to get her something it would have to be something she’d actually want or at least used everyone once in a while. He’d might as well just get her a stuffed toy at that rate. When that idea flashed into his head, he thought that could work, so long as he got her something novel enough that she’d want to keep. He looked briefly at the lineup of stuffed toys on the shelf when he saw one he thought she’d enjoy.

“How about a stuffed toy?”

“Really Dib? I know it’s human tradition for the male to purchase a stuffed creature for his mate and it matches your theme of a ‘normal’ date, but that would be the absolute last thing I’d want from here.”

“Really cause I was thinking of getting you that one.” Dib said pointing to a stuffed toy in the shape of a flying saucer, complete with the traditional green alien sewed onto the glass dome. “Is does kind of match you.” He said teasingly.

“Honestly Dib that’s…” Tak sounded like she was going to berate him at first but after she saw the toy she grew a curious expression on her face. “…actually, I never noticed it before. But that ship design does look frighteningly similar to the style Žertians typically use, and the pilot doesn’t look too different from one of them.”

“Really?” Dib said with fascination before he took out a note book from his pocket and started writing down.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting the name down, so next time I see one of those on the radar I can call them by it.”

“I would be cautious before you do that, the Žertians are a pretty unpredictable species in how they act. They’ve taken to interstellar nomadism since the Empire conquered their home planet, and they’ve been known to abduct other species for all kinds of purposes.”

“Really? Well that would explain a few things if it’s not just a coincidence.”

“Hey are you two going to buy something or what?” The clerk said annoyed from behind the counter, still engrossed in his phone.

“We’re busy deciding.” Tak replied angrily.

“Well could you hurry it up?”

“We’re not preventing you from playing on your primitive little phone by being here.”

“Uh… are you sure about that?” The clerk raised his phone up to them so they could see it as he spoke but neither of them could see what he was doing on it.

Tak let out an annoyed grunt, but before she could say or do anything else Dib yelled to the clerk, “We won’t be much longer.” And then turned to Tak to say, “Do you want the spaceship?”

“No, but for the sake of getting us out of here I’ll choose one of the stuffed monsters.”

“You really want one?”

“Not really, but if I’m going to get anything here it better be something I could see myself actually wanting, even if it’s just to throw out later.”

Tak stepped away from Dib and went up to the clerk and said,

“Service drone-”

“I have a name you know?” The clerk replied.

“It’s not important.”

“It’s Karl.”

“Carl…” Tak said, bringing her hand to her eyes to squint in exasperation.

“Karl with a K.”

“The spelling of your name has no determinable affect to how I pronounce it. But, Carl with a K, I’m in need of an ugly stuffed toy to complete my date with my boyfriend. So show me the best stuffed monsters you have.”

“Uh, can’t you see them for yourself?”

“I don’t know what their significance is, so I need you to dictate them to me so I can select the superior one.”

“You’ve never been to zoo, or looked at these animals in a book before?”

“I probably have, but I couldn’t have been bothered to remember them.” Tak said crossing her arms with an air of indifference.

Dib walked up to the counter and said with only a small sense of concern in his voice, “That won’t be needed Tak, I can just tell you about them myself. What about that one there?” He pointed to a small stuffed black cat on the wall, which earned him another hiss from Mimi.

“Exactly, I have already have Mimi for that. Honestly Dib that one’s  a worse suggestion than the spaceship.”

“Well how about that one? It’s a lion, they’re hunters on the top of the food chain where they live.”

“Better, but too similar to Mimi.”

“The gray one next to it with tusks and a long nose? They’re called elephants and they’ve been known for their intelligence.”

“How intelligent? Do you have a written language or use weapons?”

“I’ve heard they use sticks and shit as tools, and might have some sort of language they use.” Karl said without looking up from his phone.

“I thought you said you were too busy to educate me on the stuffing’s?”

“I can still commentate.”

“Forget him.” Dib said, “How about that one, a honey badger right?”

“Honey badgers are the best. They just don’t give a fuck.” Karl said.

“Their nihilism doesn’t impress me. Next.”

The three of them went on like this until they exhausted all the stuffed animals they could afford, and Dib was ready to give up when Tak pointed out a small one they missed.

“How about that one?” She said pointing to a small rodent like animal, it was so small but it costed 27,500 tickets.

“The uh…muskrat?” Dib said, bemused both at her interest in it and at its price.

“Hey man that one’s a mongoose, they’re like super tough and fight rattle snakes and shit.”

“They fight cobras.” Dib said, who had become more irritated with Karl than Tak had.

“And these cobras?” Tak started intrigued. “They’re some genus of snakes, correct?”

“Yeah, they’re big, venomous, and prey on humans and other animals all the time. But they’re mongooses prey and they kill them easily.”

Tak pondered on what Dib told her for a moment, after which she said, “That one will do.”

“We’ll take the it then.” Dib said not missing a beat.

After he said that Karl finally got off his phone and grumbled something about ‘choosing one he had to get a ladder for’ and went into the back room presumably for said ladder.

“So why the mongoose?” Dib asked her once he was out of sight.

“I actually find it very similar to an Invader: small and unassuming, but a powerhouse within!” Tak said  bringing her hand up into a fist for emphasis, “Plus I do like its aesthetic if I’m being honest.”

Karl came back out, pulled the stuffed toy off the shelf, and ask them for the tickets for it. Dib provided the receipt to him and Karl was handing it to him when Tak came over and snatched it out of his hands.

“Uh? That still leaves you with 500, if you guys want anything else.” Karl said perplexed by Tak’s actions.

“I think we’re good but thanks.” Dib started but was interrupted before he finished by Mimi pawing at his legs. She then pointed to a small shelf on the counter with Gummy Bears candy.

“Gummy Bears?” Dib said in disbelief turning to Tak. He saw her intently fondling her new toy, and was distracted by his sudden question.

“Huh? Oh right. Mimi’s taken a liking to them. Get them for her if you don’t mind.” She said barely taking her attention from the toy.

Dib purchased them and presented the opened bag to her but Mimi let out a disgusted meow after he did.

“Oh right. She doesn’t care for the green ones.”

“Why doesn’t she like the green ones?”

“I don’t know why she likes anything. Just take out the green ones so I don’t have to hear her on the way back.”

Dib complied with the request sorting out the green ones in his hands, and was surprised to see Mimi eat directly out of his once the green ones were gone. He felt Mimi’s course tongue brush and tickle against his hands, and was surprised by how much detail Tak put into their disguises. Mimi purred with satisfaction upon finishing and even let Dib pet her. After they were done she went over to Tak, brushed against her legs, and purred again.

“Great. Are we done here?” Said Tak without looking up from her toy.

Dib said that they were, and after throwing the wrapper along with the green Gummy Bears into the garbage (and missing) the three of them left the arcade and began their walk back home. Their walk back was very uneventful, it mostly consisted of them talking about anything besides what happened that night. They talked about recent happenings at High Skool, Zim’s most recent hijinks which Dib had to bail him out of, that fact that Miss Bitters had died recently (which Dib still couldn’t get over), and that Gaz had entered into a video game tournament. They were almost to Tak’s home, but while they were talking Dib couldn’t help but feel like he was the one carrying the conversation. Tak had only supplied the odd comment here and there and was still very much fascinated by her stuffed toy she got. Dib was actually happy she was enjoying it so much, but he also thought is was uncharacteristic of her and was worried. So trying to ail his worry he said to her:

“You’re really into that mongoose I got you.”

“Huh? Yeah it’s strange actually.” She started saying, “Normally I’m very indifferent to any Earth toy, but this one specifically has captured my fascination. It’s like, I don’t know, like I have this gravitation towards this thing and I can’t help but fondle it.” Tak said while playing with it as she had done the entire walk home.

Dib guessed she was experiencing a new feeling and was relieved when he figured it out. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘adorable’. As in you find the toy adorable.”

“What?” Tak said looking away from the toy, somewhat concerned.

“That feeling you’re describing for the toy. You can’t pull yourself away from it and all you want to do is ruffle it a bunch. That’s you finding it adorable.”

“Adorable…” She said the word to herself  while looking at the toy and then her eyes beamed. “Yes! Yes that’s it that’s exactly it. I find this toy adorable. Oh my tallest it’s so adorable!” and then she giggled as she brought the toy to her face, playing with it the whole time.

If Dib wasn’t surprised already, he was now. He couldn’t remembered ever seeing her so giddy over anything the whole time he’d known her, but he wasn’t the only one to notice. Mimi went up to her and started mewing and rubbing up against her try to get her attention, but all Tak did was shoo her away. Disgruntled Mimi then went to Dib and started doing the exact same thing to him. He was very confused and asked what Mimi was up to, but before he could finish Mimi jumped right at him and into his arms. Dib brought his arms up instinctively and wound up carrying her, after which she began purring and caressing him profusely. He was thoroughly confused again, but pleasantly surprised as she rarely let anyone but Tak carry or pet her.

“Why are you so friendly all of a sudden, was it the Gummy Bears?” He said playfully to her, but all she did was purr louder to him in response. “Oh I get it. Somebody’s jealous, you poor kitty.” He said this and then brought Mimi down from his face and cradled her in his arms to pet her. While he was doing so Mimi was looking at Tak the whole time, who by now was glaring at Mimi with daggers. She stopped playing with her toy then and walked up to the two of them, Mimi was overjoyed at her coming over, but it was not for the reason she thought it was.

“Mimi here, hold this for me.” Tak said as she pushed the stuffed mongoose into her, and grabbing Dib by the collar of his coat pulled him in for a kiss. Tak always felt bold whenever she kissed him. She wasn’t sure if it was because he was a human, or if was because she was an Irken and Irkens weren’t supposed to kiss. At any rate she wasn’t focused on why she felt that way, and was preoccupied with exploring her dumb human’s mouth. While normally the planet’s filth irritated her she was thankful Dib’s bodily fluids never did, he body must naturally filter it out, she could still feel something when they exchanged saliva, but only a slight tingle. His teeth always interested her whenever she got the chance to examine them. They weren’t like hers, which where hard cartilage, but instead bone with slicers in the front and round mashers in the back. His tongue interested her the most, while hers was long, firm, and cord like, his was flat, soft, and so very warm. She felt like she could wrap her whole tongue around his. She imagined her tongue as a cobra and his tongue as a mongoose, and that thought sent shivers over her body. After a moment they separated from each other and caught their breathe, immediately after which Tak said,

“Who’s jealous?” To which Dib replied,

“I don’t know I can’t remember.”

Mimi replied with a low growl to both of them, and then Tak gave into her.

“Fine.” She drawled out, “Come here, and hold my mongoose for me Dib.”

Tak took Mimi in her arms while Dib held onto her toy. She cradle Mimi while petting and rubbing at her, and Mimi responded with satisfied purrs.

“Oh Mimi. And you say I’m going native. Just as well though, I don’t think the two of us will be leaving this planet anytime soon.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Dib responded slightly miffed.

“It won’t be, with the right company anyway.”

The three of them had reached the gates of Tak’s home as they talked.

“Guess this is goodbye for the night, I hope you had a good time.” Dib said.

“I didn’t really, but it was bearable.”

“Well I hope I’m bearable to you.”

“You are, most of the time.” She teased him as she went for another kiss.

She turned away from him after they finished, and she went into her estate as the gates opened for her. Dib stood by and watched her as she made her way into her home. When she was out of sight he began his walk home. He was going over the night as he did, he thought it went well for the most part, and wasn’t completely ready to rule out the arcade for another one of their date nights. A few days later though, it would be him, Tak, Zim, and Gaz at his house playing video games. So he hoped Tak wasn’t completely tuckered out of them, but that was for another day.

* * *

This fan-fiction was largely inspired by this artwork. Made by ZimGalForevah on Deviantart.

[rancoeur-the-unfortunate]

Pills (Chapter 18)

(3128 WORDS!!!!!! 😍😎😀😆)

(Also sorry for my poor action sequences. I suck at them. A little out of my comfort zone. 😅)

Dib found himself unable to sleep despite his best attempts. So he sat up and grabbed his laptop and hotspot device. He powered both on and just web-surfed for a bit. After an hour or so Dib received a notification on the families chat room labeled 'Hey Dibshit'. Automatically knowing it was his sister Dib sighed and opened the notification icon. 

-Big Brother joined-

"Hey Gaz, what's up?"

"U didn't tell me u had ppl after u"

Dib found himself sighing again, yeah that was his sister always straight to the point.

"Didn't think it mattered."

"Usually it doesn't but when a flying moose thing tells me I think u get my point"

"Wait Zim's moose thing talked to you? At the house?"

"No, his dumb robot thing dragged me to Zim's house told there might be dumb aliens after you two so I checked your computer and found several notifications from that Swollen Eye thing you always try to be secret about"

"WAIT, you KNOW about the Swollen Eyeball?!!"

"That seriously all you took from that?"

Dib took a moment to reread the text and almost screamed.

"You went through my COMPUTER?!"

"OMFG DIB!"

Dib paused, read it once more and realized his mistake.

"Oh god."

"Yeah. The moose and I are preparing Zims house thing so it would probably be best for you to to stay wherever the heck you are."

"Uh yeah, thanks Gaz."

"Shut up Dib."

-Little Sister sighed off-

Dib sighed rereading all of the texts one more time before shutting off his computer and hotspot. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and let out a huff. Were Zim's Tallest after them now?

God for once in his life could things just be easy?

He laid down and let out a deep breath keep calm and carry on, he thought.

He turned over and faced Zim. The alien seemed to be back in his relaxed state, his features were soft and calm. Just listening to the alien's soft breathing was enough to lull Dib to sleep.

When Zim awoke he was in another unrecognizable and yet so familiar place. Like he had been here before but could not remember where. He stood in what seemed to be in an Irken dropship. This Zim recognized, the Irken Milica used these to dispense Irken soldiers straight into the battlefield. However Zim didn't recall being in one simply because he wasn't an on-field soldier, he was a trained Invader.

Zim was in the front of the ship near the cockpit surrounded by other Irkens dressed in Vort armor. They all looked at him with expressions mixed with bravery, uncertainty, and fear. Couldn't have been more than 20 of them in that ship. Some seemed to at least 10 Irken years old.

"Commander Zim, you ready?" The pilot asked.

Zim turned to Skoodge strapped into the pilot's seat.

"Yeah just give me a minute."

Zim took a deep breath and examined his men.

In the beginning, they had more than 500 soldiers who were ready to die for the Irken dream. Now their numbers had dwindled so low that Zim wondered if there was any point to it. But he knew not to give up, not when they were so close to winning. But those looks of uncertainty on his men made Zim's skin crawl.

Zim pushed a step ladder in front of the small crowd and stood up before them.

'Attention!

'Sir, yes, Sir!'

The soldiers each soluted him.

'At ease'

Their hands went down in unison.

'Men, how long have we been fighting this war?'

'Since the day we were born sir!' They all quoted.

'And why is that?'

'Because we were born short sir!'

Zim nodded.

'Yes, that's true.'

Zim examined his men again. Most were pretty short though they used to have tall Irkens before their numbers started dwindling. Zim shook his head.

'But you remember this. Just because you happen to be small does not make incompetent. If that were true would we even be here right now?'

The soldiers whispered amongst themselves.

'We've gone through many hardships because if those moronic assholes whose sole reason to bully us is because we're smaller then them. But today and the days that follow we will show them that we are a mighty army and won't back off until justice is served on a steaming hot platter!'

The soldiers nodded and cheered

'We will break into the controls brains' base and FORCE them to give us the same rights as any other tall Irken, and if they don't? We'll kill them!'

The men roared in approval.

'We have lost so many good men and women to this war whether they were KIA or LIA. But I promise you this my Irken soldiers that their lives will NOT go to waste when we WIN this war!!!'

The men howled and shot their fists in the air as they chanted.

'THE TALLER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL!!!'

'We all set to go Skoodge?'

Skoodge gave him a thumbs up.

'Then let's show those Tall bastards how much of a big problem us little guys are.'

The men whooped and the dropship took flight. Zim sat in the co-piolets seat and smiled at Skoodge and received one back.

'That was amazing, they really needed that.'

'Yeah, I did too.'

Skoodge patted Zim's thigh and gave him a reassuring click with his antennae.

'Trust me, after this, we won't have to fight anymore it'll all be worth it and this will just be a memory.'

Zim nodded and sighed.

'You remember the plan?'

'Wait here until you come back and if you don't... leave and contact Lard Nar.'

Zim nodded.

'Good as soon as things look bad you leave. Don't wait for me.'

Skoodge nodded, though the worry in his face went unmasked.

'Promise me you'll make it though.'

Zim took Skoodge's hand and rubbed his gently against his forehead.

'I promise.'

The short Irkens smiled and continued to piolet the ship in silence.

When they arrived at the control Brains' base it was pitch black night. The building stood tall and proud and vaguely resembled a giant magenta box though up close it was lear the walls were covered in pipes, docking area, vent, etc. in all kinds of colors and shades. They had been spying this place for so long they knew everything about the outer defenses and just enough of the inner ones to succeed. There were so many risks however and Zim just knew that they were going to lose some people and that made him want to back out, but he COULDN'T he just couldn't. They cloaked their ship and set up their disrupters to stop any Irken tech. from tracking them.

Zim stood and turned to leave before Skoodge grabbed his tunic.

'Please just don't die out there.'

Zim smiled and pressed his forehead to Skppdge's.

'Everything's going to be alright. I promise.'

With that Zim stood and left the cockpit and joined his crew.

What happens next will be written in Irken history Zim thought to himself and smiled and got himself suited up and leading his soldiers out of the ship and towards the alien structure. There was an old ventilation system long abandoned that could take them inside undetected. Zim turned on his cloak and his soldiers followed suit. The cloaks, however, couldn't hide much when moving so the Irken's had to jump from cover to cover in order to get to the closed-off vent. Zim used hand signals once they crossed the borderline. The borderline was the technological barrier off what the control brains could see outside the building it was like an advanced security rat detecter. But with the Vort armor, the control brains wouldn't be able to detect them. As long as no one uncloaked or spoke they would be safe. Zim could be himself shutter once they passed it, this was it. This was the final push and this war would finally be over. Running and jumping from cover to cover the group finally made it to the vent two engineer Irkens managed to take off the cover and all 20 of them crawled in. The air Zim noticed was different here. It was supple at first but after a bit, it seemed like the air was almost higher here. Once the passed the inner barrier the borderline effect was gone, Zim let out a sigh of relief. He leaned into his walkie-talkie.

'Skoodge can you hear me?'

'Loud and clear.'

'Good. We're out of the barrier and are ready to begin phase 2 get ready to release the static pulse.'

'Aye, sir.'

They continued crawling through the vent till they reached a drop. Zim was the first to jump down and scan the area. Empty seemed to be some kind of storage unit.

'All clear.'

The sound of 19 more stomps came after that. They traversed the area ray guns in hand in case they come into contact with a drone or a guard. The room was clear. They grouped up and uncloaked. 

'Alright, all of you remember your parts?'

The soldiers nodded in unison.

'Alright, go!'

With that, the soldiers split off. Zim ran towards another vent and crawled in. From here the group had split into groups of two. Zim's partners was a stubby Irken named Bob though despite his size Bob had more fortitude than Zim.

It was a good thing too because this vent was so small the two had to army crawl through it. It took them about an hour before they reached their destination. Of course, there wouldn't be a direct vent to the Control Brains but that was fine that wasn't what they were after anyway. No, they were after something much more important. 

Finally, they reached it, the surveillance room. They had to activate there plan between the shifts so no Irken guards were around however there were still drones buzzing around. Carefully they undid the hatch and climbed out and scanned the area. The vent was on the ceiling and gave them a perfect view of the room. Two drones were manning the room. The room in questions wasn't too big, it was meant to be small and hard to find and had it not been for their spies they would have most likely gotten lost three turns ago. Zim slipped down using his PAC legs as to not make a sound. Bob followed suit through his PAC legs weren't as long. Silently, they crawled behind the drones and blasted them this their pulse guns. This sent a wave of electricity through the drones and overloading them causing them to collapse. Zim scanned the room and let out a sigh of relief.

'We're all clear. Bob, you man the door I'll administer the port.'

The soldier nodded.

'Yes sir'

Zim stood in front of the control panel, took a deep breath, and turned on his comlink.

'Is everyone in position?'

'Yes sir'

'Affirmative'

'Yeah'

'All set'

'Ready to go'

'Ready'

'All good here.'

'Let's get rolling'

'Yup.'

Zim nodded to Bob to let him know.

'Alright everyone when this pulse goes off we'll have exactly 30 minutes to get into our next positions do not and I repeat DO NOT stay near the explosives you will die. As soon as you hear it, activate the explosive and get to your spots.'

'Sir yes sir!'

Zim smiled and plugged the bug port into the panel.

'Skoodge.'

'Yes, Sir?'

'Activate the pulse.'

'Initationing pulse in 3, 2, 1'

Suddenly all the lights went out and Zim and Bob booked it out of there. 30 minutes was all they needed to run through the hallways past now broken bots and disoriented guards all the while explosions were going off in the background.

Zim and Bob ran into another storage room where they were set to hide with 5 minutes left to spare. The plan was to wait for the guards to go in a frenzy trying to find them or fixing the now destroyed docking stations while the Soldiers snuck into the unguarded Control Brains' room and confront the Control Brains there.

'Alright did everyone get to their spots?' He asked his comlink however he received no answer.

He tried again.

'Did everyone get to their spots? Hello? Is anyone there?' Zim could feel his heart start to race.

'Uh, Commander Zim?' Bob called from behind him.

'Wha-?' Zim turned and immediately froze. in the center of the dark room was a lone spotlight that shown an Irken, The Doctor.

'Why hello there Zim.' Zim could feel his blood run cold.

Out of all the Irkens, they could have run into, it had to be him. The doctor how his white lab coat his yellow eyes covered by his blue goggles. His left antenna was missing Zim noticed.

How could this had happened?! He had this whole place mapped out. He couldn't have messed this up.

'Why don't you have a seat.' Another spotlight turned on shedding light on a chair The Doctor gestured to it.

It was at this time did Zim notice Bob was gone. He tried to run but the door was shut tight. He couldn't believe it. He was locked in a room with HIM.

'Now don't be difficult.' A bot came out of the darkness and grabbed Zim by the arms. Zim fought but he was in such a panic-induced frenzy that he couldn't think of a logical way out.

He was sat in the chair and cuffs were latched on him holding him to the chair.

'I knew about your for awhile Zim. I have to admit it was a pretty well thought out plan. But you didn't think those spies of yours wouldn't get caught would you?'

Zim struggled, trying with all of his strength to break free but to no avail.

'All they needed was a little medicine and they were right back in line.'

Zim snarled at him.

'You sick demented FREAK!' Zim yelled.

'Now that's not a way to talk to me Zim especially with all the trouble your in. Heck if the control brains hadn't seen you as a valuable asset you would be dead by now just like the rest of your team.' The doctor laughed.

Zim froze. No... no, they can't be dead. They can't be.

'You're lying!'

'Oh am I?'

Another spotlight turned on and there they were. 4 of his soldier lay in gell filled tubes.

Zim had to stop his breathing to hold back the tears as he bit his lip.

'I know this isn't all of them but we'll find them soon enough.'

Suddenly Zim heard something on his comlink.

'Zim? Come in Zim? Some of the crew came back. Said they were ambushed. Are you on your way?' Skoodge's frantic words made Zim's eyes tear up.

'Aw what's wrong Zim? Did you finally realize that this is the line? That's okay Zim.'

The Doctor got closer and rested his hand on Zim's shoulder.

'Don't worry. After you take your medication you won't even remember this.'

He kneeled down to meet Zim's eyes.

'It might even make you taller you know. You'll make a fine General.'

With that Zim jolted and headbutted the Doctor. Said Doctor fell back and groaned in pain. He lifted his hand to cover his face, and when he pulled back he found blood and a missing tooth. He snarled and glared at Zim who was in the process of knawing off his own hands. Irkens had the ability to regrow limb though not many Irken's knew this. So, of course, Zim didn't mind losing his hands in order to get to Skoodge. Zim jumped up and kicked the Doctor to the ground knocking him out while Zim searched for a way out of this hell.

He used his PAC leg lasers to cut a hole through the door and booked it down the hallway while turning on his comlink.

'Come in Skoodge can you hear me?!'

'Loud and clear, are you okay Zim? Bob just came back saying you were in trouble.'

'Skoodge I don't think I'm going to make it.' He ran into his third dead end.

'What?! What do you mean?'

'I mean I'm lost and being hunted Skoodge. You're going to have to leave me.'

'No! You need to get here Zim. I'll send in some soldiers.'

'No Skoodge it'll put them in danger. Just leave me ok.' The blood loss was getting to Zim and he was starting to feel tired.

'Please, Zim I can't leave you!' Zim could hear Skoodge crying on the other side of the com.

'It'll be ok Skoodge. You need to contact Lard Nar. He'll know what to do. Call 777 he'll give any technology you'll need.' Zim sat down at his 7th dead end too tired to keep going. 

He lifted up his wrist and typed in the launch code on his wrist device with his tongue. A contingency plan that would make the dropship go on autopilot and fly to Vort in case Skoodge wouldn't be able to fly.

'Wait, Zim, NO!'

'It's okay Skoodge.'

'NO NO NO I don't want to leave you! Please!' 

'It's okay'

Skoodge hiccupped.

'Please, I can't do this without you!'

'Remember what you told me? You can do it Skoodge.'

Zim could hear voices in the distance, the guards were getting closer.'

'Remember what we were fighting for, to begin with, Skoodge.'

'Oh, Zim.' Zim could barely hear Skoodge's sobbing now, his vision was getting blurry and he could see the silhouettes of the guards. 

'I love you Skoodge.' Zim clicked his antennae and whispered before finally passing out.

'Zim? Zim!'

'He's ours now.'

Zim awoke with the concerned gaze of Dib looming over him.

"You okay Zim?"

'Yeah, I'm fine human.'

"Huh" Dib tilted his head.

Zim corrected himself, realizing then he was speaking Irken tongue.

"I said I'm fine."

"Oh uh okay. You looked like you were having another nightmare."

Zim paused.

"I... was."

"Do... you want to talk about it, Zim?"

"I don't know. Do you think it would help?"

Dib shrugged he had never been so concerned for Zim. It was weird.

"Maybe, but only if you want to."

Zim sat up and looked down at his gloved claws.

"It was so strange. I really don't know how to start. It was so real like it was just a memory, but I don't remember any of it happening and I-" Zim cut himself off and placed his head in his hands.

"That's okay Zim." Dib hesitated before patting the aliens back.

"Just start from the beginning."

[ladyyatexel]

I watched the Zim movie!  I can’t believe that’s a sentence that can be true now!

Here’s some of me thinking about it, because that’s the kind of thing I am.  Always with the words words words

It was very strange to be watching new Invader Zim.  

It was also strange to see the migration of things within it.  It definitely feels like something from 2019 trying to bridge back to the early 2000s.  I was thinking going into it, “Man, Zim was cancelled because it was both too expensive and too fucked up for the network that had it, but maybe Netflix could actually give it a better home because there are fewer network boundaries and Netflix is rolling in it.”  And then it was actually less fucked up than it used to be and felt more like a studio stepped in and told them someone hadn’t had a human emotion on the softer side of the spectrum for a while.  

Kind of wild, people spent all those years injecting a lot of very soft emotion into Zim in fan circles and then when some emotion gets put in by the people making it, it feels a little uncomfortable.  Gaz sounding genuine or sincere is super weird.  It was almost like the kind of emotion that you’re expecting from She-Ra and Steven Universe was trying to dip a toe into the Invader Zim world or just peek in through a keyhole.  Sadness about failure to live up to parental expectations and stuff was something I think we’ve all considered was part of Dib, but seeing a feeling like that on this show was a bit jarring.   I’m just used to it being more…. brutal?  Stark?  Cynical, maybe!  

Which is a weird thing for me to wish it was doing, I suppose, since I’m retreating so deeply lately into things like Steven and She-Ra, where everything is the power of love and stars and stones.  Everything is gay space rocks when it comes down to it.  

But I usually love getting deeper and more meaningful emotional cues from my media.  I guess I just wasn’t looking to get any from this one.  Dib saying ‘Go home and spend time with your families or… whatever,’ in the Christmas Special was kind of the tone I was expecting.  

Maybe the comics felt less jarring because your mind is the voice director.  No one is suddenly uncomfortably sentimental when you’re reading a comic version of a show where no one has ever done a sentimental thing ever. 

Based on what I know from the comics, a lot of the things that felt wonky to me were kind of intentionally skewed in the wonky direction - the designs for Dib and Gaz looking younger/less like weird goths in particular - but it still didn’t stop me feeling like things looked and felt off.  Every time I saw Professor Membrane, I thought, “This dude is the wrong shape.”   

Watching bits of the original again fresh off the movie, I think there’s a snap I’m missing in the movie.  Edges, movements, colors, feelings - they’re all softer this time around.  I wanted some sharp angles and a lot of them had been smoothed out.  

Loved getting ‘Dib Membrane’ and ‘Gazlene’ in a real appearance, though.  I hoped after all the talk of clones that Dib’s dad would casually mention that Dib was one and the movie would just cut out there, haha.  Lots of weird throwbacks and in-jokes, which is definitely a delight.  And as weird as it was to have her have discernible feelings, seeing more of Gaz, especially her piloting an alien ship, is a giant positive.  Jhonen’s purple haired girls are universally excellent.

Speaking of, god, I so wanted Tak to be there.  (eh, it’s more blue hair, but you know what, it’s still a solid transition) I was hoping the ship would take Dib and Gaz to Tak and then there would be some fuss with that.  I’m glad we got to hear from her in the form of the voice of her ship, though. 

Zim himself was great, I feel like we got the whole spectrum of him - he looked, sounded, and felt like Zim, even with little tweaks and bits from a newer influence.  I loved the weird little asides about/with GIR, taken from the comics, like the taco place conversation.  (“GIR likes that place.  I think it’s dirty.”  “I ate a baby there!”  “He did.”)  

You can tell this thing was lovingly put together, it is bursting with energy and visual weirdness and passion.  It wasn’t as spiky as I wanted, but it was still a ride to watch it all happen.  Was so excited to see the composer on board again, though I longed for a bigger longer version of the opening with the vocals.  The Invader Zim theme is one of my favorite theme songs.  The realities crashing together sequences were Fantastic~~  I laughed properly out loud several times in delight, or at an absurdity, or just because it’s Invader Zim and I love Invader Zim.  

I expected it to tilt harder toward one direction and it tilted toward another instead, but it in the end it was still some Zim.  It’s tempting to want more of it, to say that Netflix should revive the series, but I wonder if the series could ever feel like it used to, or if anyone involved would want it to, and if the comics and a movie should just be what we’re happy with.  If I hoped for a series I would still hope for more of the sharp, and I don’t think Zim is doing sharp as much as it used to. 

[space-n-sky]

A Dissertation on ZAGR

First of all?? Bless your soul.

Now buckle up cause this tea’s been brewing in the back of my mind for 3 years.

Despite my unyielding adoration for these two hot messes, I know there’s a very small chance the ship could work. Zim nonchalantly states that his race is both asexual and aromantic in issue 20, and seeing how Gaz actively separates herself from Dib’s and Zim’s antics both in comics and show, there’s really no reason for them to be near each other. 

However, the times they do share screen time/ panels, there’s a distinct dynamic between the two, one that the show and comics don’t take advantage of, and I’m going to analyze the hecc out of it.

Dang Zim. A few days on Earth and you’re already snatching up girls

This scene charmed me when I first saw it, and I think the reason was is cause up until this point when I started watching the show, I had the impression that no one could do anything to Gaz, and if they did, they would pay for it. I legit gasped when Zim just up an grabbed her, like, this stupid boi had a one-way ticket to hurtville. Gaz’s threats aren’t empty! Nonsequital and gruesome in detail, but not empty. So she’s promising Zim she’ll hurt him, but Zim just... ignores her. He only puts her down when he knows it’s not raining anymore and hardly bats an eye at her words.

Now, he hardly knows her at this point in the series, so it’s very likely that he didn’t know how cold she really is. But still, everyone else who’s come across Gaz ends up acting in her favor in some way or another. By Zim getting away with inconveniencing her and being able to shrug off her threats, I got the hint that Zim in one of few who could put up with her attitude and give her a run for her money. Not enough to ship but... you do get curious when they’ll run into each other again.

Zim?? steals an organ from Gaz that doesn’t make her reel in pain like the others and leaves her Gameslave in a position where she can still play?? Like. I know Gaz is a tough character (she doesn't writhe in pain when she gets lice later on) but the position her Gameslave replaces her organ has got to be deliberate. I fancy Zim knows by now what she’s capable of and executes his plan on her in the least harmful way possible so that she doesn’t come running after him when his whole shtick is over. I remember someone from the crew mentioning that if Zim were to take over, he’d occasionally appease Gaz by offering her food or games, and I think that idea stemmed off here. Zim is an unforgiving zealot with nothing but contempt for humans, yet he accommodates Gaz. So, I don’t think he respects her yet, but he does realize he should stay on her good side. 

Here though, he definitely does. He comes up to her and invites her to look at Pustulio like he has with everyone else, no biggie. Gaz obviously knows better and just shrugs him off, but then...Zim asks her again like  “oh, you sure? understandable, have a nice day”. Amazing. 

Gaz hasn’t changed her opinion on Zim, though. Still very “eh” about him, which is a bummer. It’s by no means ship material, but this moment made me wonder what this was leading up to.

Ohhhh snap it’s that one screenshot every zagr fan has on their blog at least once

So. the context for BPH: Gaz begrudgingly goes to saves Dib, is fascinated by the idea of Zim experimenting on a human but forces herself to focus yessss and after being belittled by Zim, engages in a high-speed chase back to Earth.

Gaz could have easily just jetted out of Zim’s hold and gone home, it would have made sense with how she’s shown nothing but disdain and annoyance when he comes close. Yet, she jumps over his hold and teases him about her win. Then she goes home.

We get two things from this, and they excite me so much omg zifbhjgf

We’re halfway through season 1, and Zim is scared of Gaz just enough to respect and avoid her but is bold enough to belittle her and ignore her threats. Now, she’s beat him in Nanozim but he had no idea it was her, so when her gaming muscles flex over his military piloting, he is s h o o k. 

I believe he is shooketh for two reasons: One, because this is one of Zim’s few losses against the humans directly, a Membrane at that. Two, because someone smaller than him beat him. Recall that he addresses her name once in the show, and it’s to demean her efforts and her stature. Being defeated by someone he deemed insignificant on a first name basis took a huge blow to his pride. Zim has a penchant for overlooking his faults or any correction (Tak telling him his mission was a lie, Gir telling Zim that babies aren’t a threat to the mission) unless it is direct to where he cannot deny it (The Tallests saying the trial was a formality in Zim’s range of hearing). This was one of those rare moments where his shortcomings and the opposing victor are up in his face, Gaz lets him know she’s won, is better than him, and there’s nothing he can do about it. So he just gapes. 

Gaz’s end? I really think she was partly spiteful and playful with this quip. it was her special way of getting Gaz patented revenge after being insulted and attacked by Zim. Also, her cold smile and wave indicate she had fun getting the best of Zim, whereas she never smiled once when dooming Iggins in GS2 and Dib in GToP, and I think that’s really telling.

At this point I was hype to see how much farther Zim and Gaz’s budding rivalry will go, aaaand nothing happens the rest of the show :’)

There’s a brief exchange between Zim and Gaz in Tak:THNG, and yeah, Gaz teases Zim about his base and Zim deflects her statement in an unusually offhanded, nearly empty threat. It’s basically the equivalent of two kids sticking their tounges out at each other, more lighthearted than their last encounter at the very least. 

After finishing the series and jumping straight to the comics, something beautiful and unexpected happens. It takes 16 issues and then some to get there, but it happens.

Zim and Gaz’s slowly built up rivalry/relationship reaches a new peak. To a point where they can negotiate, know each other well enough to outsmart the other, and most importantly of all, casually talk to each other.

Breaking down issues 16 and 21 are gonna take up a lot of pic space and some fangirling tangents explaining to do, So they are gonna be like, the sequel to this hot mess and be their own posts.

It’s 4am y’all I hope you can read this hggohepw

[invcder]

Druxy - Something which looks good on the outside, but is actually rotten inside. !

Send me a word and I’ll write a drabble. 

            It had become somewhat of a pattern, an unspoken agreement between the two hereditary enemies ; Zim would launch a spectacularly evil and overly complicated plot to overthrow the human race, Dib would rise up to combat his merciless alien will and attempt to save his miserable, doomed planet, Zim’s plan would ultimately fail ( though it was usually through some form of incompetence or unwitting self-sabotage, rather than due to any effort on Dib’s part, however well-meaning said efforts had been ), and the cycle would continue. But this particular phase was relatively new – every so often, after another catastrophic clash of opposing wills, when the dust had settled, the pair would relent to one another in a sort of unspoken truce ; it wasn’t as if Zim was going to launch another nefarious plan in the same day, after all, and often it seemed that Dib was too exhausted from his efforts to oppose the invader to bother stopping him even if he did so. No, instead they would both wordlessly acknowledge the fact that the game was over for today, and resolve to be civil with one another until the next morning, when the alien would undoubtedly resume his malicious intentions with renewed vigor.

            Sometimes they simply bid the other goodbye ; well then, curse you and all that, death to the humans, see you at school tomorrow. But other times, they would …talk – discuss the unfolding of the day’s events, take some superficial pleasure in ridiculing the other’s foolish shortcomings, or complimenting one another on the rare occasion that they noted something worthy of acknowledgement in their respective rival. But on even rarer occasions, they would talk about nothing pertaining to their perpetual struggle for control of the planet at all – the Dib human’s somewhat lackluster home life, scientific theories that humans had yet to stumble upon, and sometimes …when the alien was feeling distracted enough to reveal such things …he would satisfy the human’s curiosity about Irken customs. That was how they had stumbled upon the conversation in question, a topic which seemed oddly foreign to the Earth boy ; being defective.

            ❝ – Eh? Your puny human mind misunderstands. There’s no fixing it. ❞

            Defective was a four letter word – well, not literally. Not in English. It was nine letters in that language ; and actually, it was even more characters when spelled out in Irken – but that wasn’t the point. It didn’t mean the same thing that it did here on this filthy planet – or, perhaps it did in essence, but the repercussions for the condition were vastly different. It wasn’t as simple as rewiring a hard drive, or rebooting a computer. No …on Irk, being defective was a good as a death sentence. In fact, those who were deemed so were resigned to a fate even worse than death.

            ❝ – defectives are mistakes; nothing but a hindrance to the objective. So accordingly, they are erased – their consciousness is deleted, their PAK destroyed, and their existence is erased from Irk’s recorded history. – they thought ZIM was defective once, you know. ❞

            He admitted with a nonchalance that didn’t suit at all with the description of the title he had just provided. In fact, he seemed rather smug about the matter, the soles of his standard issue boots scraping against the roof tiles of the human’s squalid little home as he pointed his chin up toward the stars with pride.

            ❝ – They held a trial for me and everything. Of course, the Control Brains determined that it was all a misunderstanding ; after all, how could ZIM be defective? As it turns out, I’m just so amazing that it was beyond their comprehension. They ended up giving me a promotion, and let me pilot the Massive, too. It was the least they could do, after all. But I didn’t blame them, of course – very few minds can grasp just how exceptionally advanced my genius is. Take GIR, for example. ❞

            He gestures vaguely with a wave of his gloved claw down into the human’s yard, where the little green-suited robot was currently occupying itself by lying on the side of its over-sized head and running in a circle on the lawn. The grass beneath it had started to flatten and die in response to the abuse, adopting an appearance that was suspiciously similar to that of a traditional crop circle.

            ❝ – The Tallest gave him specifically to me for my extremely important mission here. He’s an incredibly advanced model, light-years beyond the capability of standard-issue SIR units. To your untrained, human eye holes, he likely appears to be quite stupid – BUT YOU’RE WRONG !! WRONG !!! – Your tiny human brain meats simply cannot grasp the complexity of his advanced engineering. Zim is the same, naturally – I’m so amazing that most life forms are simply too stupid to understand it. ❞

@hebelieved