#pills and good advice by left at london

[another-punk-trans-woman]

Am I trying to learn a ten minute long song on impulse???

Maybe. Might be doing that

[kotatsudotme]

Miscellaneous Music Artist/Song inspired blinkies

from right to left: lyrics to left at london's pills and good advice, repeating left at london /@/ symbol, lyrics to unlike pluto's oh raven, and sleep token.

f2u on your neocities, tumblr, or where ever! credit is not required, but greatly appreciated/encouraged. reblog if you use please!

[playlistboys]

pills & good advice - left at london // image by nasa

[violetsentience]

"I know that something's missing Or rather, something else is there I spend the day existing You spend it being unaware The times I wake up smiling Feel like I'm making fun of you"

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

Pills & Good Advice • The Ballad of Marion Zioncheck • there is a place for you here. • Out Of My Mind • It Could Be Better • Kudzu • THIS IS A PROTEST FOR YOUR HEART!!!

Spotify ♪ Bandcamp ♪ YouTube

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Creep (Radiohead)

I don't care if it hurts/I wanna have control/I want a perfect body/I want a perfect soul/I want you to notice/When I'm not around/So fuckin' special/I wish I was special

"I had a big lesbian crush on my straight best friend in middle school and this song perfectly describes what that was like: creep, weirdo, don't belong here"

Pills and Good Advice (Left At London)

Is this the storm before the calm/Is it the clock, or just the ticking of the bomb/We sacrifice what we both need/But if I fight for you, then how do we proceed/And if you fight for me, then how do we proceed/And if we fight again, then how do we proceed

"Song of all time. Ahn, trigger warning for suicidal ideation, institutionalization and mental health issues. I can't quite explain the vibes. Think of being ill, and have as only support someone that is as ill as you. Think of making peace with the fact that you will never be entirely healed, and this will be part of you forever, and that's ok. Think of breathing in the air of the city you grew up in but for the first time inhabiting every inch of your body, in your own skin."

[lee-etc]

15 songs I've been listening to lately

Was tagged by @meiyanaalexia <3 thanks sm for the tag :D These are just some songs i like in general and will probably not skip if my likes playlist is on shuffle while im on the bus like usual lmao. Included yt links too because i need everyone to listen to my music ofcourse

So You Are Tired by Sufjan Stevens

slow dance by SUNEOHAIR

Golden Fever by Keanan Eksteen

dui by estelle allen

I would die 4 U by Prince

King of Silence by Cibo Matto

enknee1 by hemlocke springs

Pills & Good Advice by Left At London

taste the rain by ippo.tsk

Planet of the Bass (feat. DJ Crazy Times & Ms. Biljana Electronica)

ART SCHOOL CRUSH by NNAMDÏ

All Dogs Go To Heaven by frog

Not Strong Enough by boygenius

Lovely Sewer by Yves Tumor

Pulp by Lime Garden

and bonus song i've reblogged, its the breast music, YU-NO PC 98 (touch). seriously why is it so good

Gonna tag (feel free to ignore): @dogboyrevenge @1989nihil @burgundyquills @a-nerdy-little-me

[candyskiez]

2, 9, 33

:3

1. Ohhh god. I think Furyflame, a warriors self insert when I was like. Ten or eleven. She had fucking WINGS. I made a whole fake clan for my family and my pets. It was insane.

9. I'm guessing this means songs that fit them so!

Jasper: Pills and Good Advice by Left at London (fits him a little too well), Metaphor by The Crane Wives, Our Word from 36 Questions

Ivy: Cassandra by Florence + The Machine

Lilac: I can't fix you by the living tombstone, but also Fences by Destroy Boys

Aster: Banks by Lincoln

33. Okay I honestly dunno if you mean scrap an OC or kill them in story. Jasper and Lilac were both originally dead but I wanted them to live so badly that I wrote alternate timelines where they lived and now they're the canon ones. Does that answer your question 😭😭

[sleepy-shutin]

Kat/Zero he/him likes: anime/manga, left @ london, house MD, supernatural, drawing, writing, cooking, knitting & crochet, playing my banjo when i remember to dislikes: super sweet coffee, when my house is a mess personality: pretty blunt

pick 3 songs: this is a protest for your heart, i'm not laughing anymore, pills & good advice, all by left at london link a youtube video: https://youtu.be/ted5AFJ81GA?si=fsZNyJ25bE_H_0sV&t=648 <- the jacksfilms video my friends are currently talking about favorite hobby: i like writing and writing music sometimes

one thing on your mind right now: not much, i'm just listening to left at london and enjoying her music immensely

appearance:

(picrew link)

[misscammiedawn]

Papyrus (Is "The Garden" on that playlist?)

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

CW: Discussion of severe mental illness and suicide.

I had my "mental illness indie playlist" on and for the record Pills & Good Advice by Left At London (her gosh darn magnum opus to living with a SPMI) is the song that came up.

This is legitimately one of my favorite songs of all time and helped me a ton during the worst portions of second puberty when our BPD symptoms were off the charts. Left at London does amazing music ranging from talking about the 2020 social unrest which includes the refrain "Fuck you and the slavers that you work for" or finding joy within having a dissociative disorder or the terror of discovering one. As well as one of the most uncomfortably accurate songs about Disorganized/Insecure Attachment in BPD (the Patreon only edit even including a voice mail that ripped my heart to shreds the first time I heard it.) and a break-up song that includes a lyric that takes me out every time I hear it:

And if falling in love is all that it takes To make you love the world You’ll be bitter when they go Because even infinity in its entirety Still can turn to nothingness When it's multiplied by zero

But let's talk about the song which actually showed up on my random, Pills & Good Advice.

The song is built upon Nat's experiences from being released from a mental care facility after a suicide attempt and the fear and insecurity of being released into the world with nothing but medication and doctors recommendations to keep her from trying to kill herself again.

On my first day out My familiar town Felt the same as in my dreams Crying in my sleep When the sun came down Thinking "I am cured, it seems" But I don't know my name at all But what else is new? Should I show my pain at all? If you only knew You could try to help Care is imprecise All that I have left: Pills and good advice

Each verse of the song fluctuates between moods and depictions of chronic mental illness from the bridge having rapid voices displaying her impulses to experience a high to escape the pain of existing versus the desperate desire to stay the course and get better and mirrored refrains of "Please hold me down" symbolizing both a self-destructive impulse to die and a terror; begging their partner to kill or save her.

The song includes depictions of Identity Disturbance, a BPD symptom where those suffering lack a stable sense of identity and require an external source to mirror and receive acknowledgement from; Nat sings on multiple occasions about not knowing who she is and viewing her support in this crisis as her "mirror". I imagine imposter syndrome for Nat's music/poetry may be invading some lines such as "I'm plagarizing everything, stuttering solioquies (who am I again?)"

The song is set in 3 parts with the third part being a descent where the line (Higher) is repeated after every line and Nat struggles with her suicidal impulses, concluding:

Spend too many of my minutes getting higher (Higher) I've attempted way too much to even count (Higher) I've been committed, but committed to the people that I love And if I try to love myself, I guess that I could live forever crying

Knowing the sickness is a part of her but she doesn't want to die, even if she wants to die; she cares too much about the people in her life (the committed/committed line is actually genius and one of my favorite in all of her discography) and the best thing she can do is commit to loving herself and continuing along with life in spite of the pain inflicted by her illness.

The ending is ambiguous to my ears and /@/ isn't popular enough for me to see a lot of discussion on interpretations.

But on my last day out Let me scream to God, Family, friends, and enemies "So what happens next? Is this what you want? All I am is dead to me" So I can't hear my voice at all What was I to do? Did I have a choice at all? Seems I never do You could try to help Care is imprecise All that I'd have left: Pills and good advice I could try to heal Care is imprecise All that you'd have left: Pills and good advice

On one hand, I view the song as a positive rally into accepting that SPMI are as the letters describe "Severe Persistent Mental Illness", fuck knows I've lived with the weight of those letters on my medical records. It doesn't go away. You just have to learn to live with it. To enjoy the joys before the despairs.

I chose to believe those last lines are saying that other people could try to help but in the end all the sufferer has is medication and therapy techniques, change must come from within and that to live with someone who suffers will cause pain too and all the person helping can do is receive the same level in care in return.

"You could try to help" vs "I could try to heal" with all that I/you having left being Pills and Good Advice.

But in my darker days I focus on the "on my last day out" and how the singer bemoans never really having a choice and all their work in staying clean being for nothing. In that read, I worry that the final lines are the singer giving in to their symptoms and attempting to kill themselves again, with the final line being less of a "we can get better together" and more of a "I know this will hurt you, have you considered seeking psychological help?"

I prefer my positive spin on it but that may be optimism winning out.

Either way, the song is fantastic and deeply personal in a way I almost feel like I'm intruding to hear at times.

Suicide is a topic of massive importance to me; it is also my number one emotional trigger. For the past few months I've had a draft I've been toying on about how I feel it should be discussed and ironically I am terrified to post it because of how sensitive the topic is. It's really hard to put yourself out there.

I admire this work of art because it really tries its absolute hardest to share a perspective of what it's like to be living with these conditions and feeling like no matter how much you reach out to other people, they can't truly help in the ways that you need. It's a song about terror, it's a song about healing and my god I hope it's a song about growth.

But it may just be a song about cycles.

[khizuo]

7 & 20 ! <3

7: A song to drive to

omg i have driving playlists so this is perfect. i'll just pick hunting knife by crime of passing. fun atmospheric post-punk with a driving beat.

20: A song that has many meanings to you

i've been listening to pills and good advice by left at london non-stop recently. it's super long and winding and it just really captures a lot of my own weird complicated feelings around leaving my parents' house and also being mentally ill. also it's the song i've assigned to my ocs lol

(music ask game)

[angel-derangement]

hot take left @ london’s Pills & Good Advice is what car seat headrest’s Beach Life-In-Death wishes it was

[lesboguy-moved]

got tagged by @vwampires YAY

shuffle your "on repeat" playlist on spotify & post the first 10 songs and tag 10 people

1. it could be better - left at london

2. promiseland - MIKA

3. m'lady S3RL remix - dorian electra

4. lent - autoheart

5. brand new city - mitski

6. the most wanted person in the united states - 100gecs

7. pills & good advice - left at london

8. cha cha cha - käärijä

9. i want love (studio mix) - akira yamaoka

10. dumbest girl alive - 100gecs

i tag um umm @sylvanianfamiliez @birodya @midnightemissary @gothboobs @gogetablue and umm.. i dunno.. your mommm lolllll

[courtjestermerlin]

thanks for the tag @swanmaids 💛

ten songs i’ve been listening to on repeat recently:

1.    persephone - humbird 2.    home with you - fka twigs 3.    far from home - august james 4.    black leaves - kirby 5.    through me (the flood) - hozier 6.    intervals - tamino 7.    pills & good advice - left at london 8.    i burned LA down - noah cyrus 9.    sever the blight - hemlocke springs 10.  the perfect pair - beabadoobee

tagging @decaflondonfog @wallo-ouija @groundbreakingdot872 @morgaussy @feuxx @pyjamacryptid if you’d like to give this a go (no pressure ofc!)

[lemondoddle]

tagged by @swordfaery thank uuu :] 💜

Rules: shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and post the first 10 tracks, then list 10 songs you really like, each by a different artist. then tag 10 people to do the same thing.

this also getting a read more lol

Material Girl by Madonna- i've been a very girlypop music vibe recently i need bouncy fun music to get me to spring

Fenn by Tom Rosenthal- this is one of those songs where i have no idea where i first heard it but it's a staple to my library :)

T-Shirt by Left at London- this always makes me think of this one time where i was getting ready in the bathroom and my mom walked in while the end of this was playing and she repeated the last couple lines in like. a joking manner i guess? do you ever do that thing where you overhear a random sentence from a stranger and repeat to whoever ur with? it was like that but i don't think she realized the song was about suicidal ideation 😅

Let Us by Erin & the Wildfire- EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO ERIN & THE WILDFIRE RN!!! i saw them at a concert even theyre sooo good!! anyways i like thinking about my gay little superhero ocs to this :]

Bottom is a Rock by Mother Mother- IDC WHAT YALL SAY ABOUT MOTHER MOTHER THIS SONG IS SO FUCKING GOOD DUDE!!! recently relistened to my dance and cry cd and discovered this absolute GEM. the sisyphean message of it all and esp the "i go down to the bottom and i float up" part scratch my brain so gooodd. anyways you can hate mother mother bc it got popular on tiktok or w/e but they make good music <3

Vow of Silence by Lemon Demon- another gem pulled out from a looked over cd, the rhythm and melody of the first line/ the whistling part also scratch my brain

gimme all ur luv by Hemlocke Springs- their high notes in the chorus are just so ethereal 🤩

SHH! by Left at London- just an all around banger

This Hyper World by Lemon Demon- you wouldn't think a song with that kind of title would hit so deeply within my soul and YET. god man the loop part and the complete shift to the "i only understand myself" part just get me right where it hurts and its so good :')

We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross- yeah... ace people rise up also this makes me cry so much

okay for the next ten im just gonna be quick and give a blanket "absolutely listen to these and then come back and talk to me about it" bc my hands are starting to hurt and i just realize youtube fucked up and i copied the same url onto like 10 of these 😩😩😩

Starstruck by The Scary Jokes

Whatever You Like by Erin & the Wildfire

C'mon Baby, Cry by Orville Peck

One Prairie Outpost by Carbon Leaf

Joyride by Choke Up

Golden Brown by The Stranglers

Old Bike by Rob Cantor

Pills & Good Advice by Left at London

Hansel by Soddikken

Lovefool by No Vacation

tagging @questionthewitness @pathos-logical @somethinginsideyourhead @light-macadamia @whats-a-terrarium @irradiatedsnakes @elfgrunge @dickwheelie @punkrockpariah @mag200 :D